The Royal Tenenbaums by Wes Anderson & Owen Wilson
MAIN CAST ROYAL TENENBAUM ETHELINE TENENBAUM CHAS TENENBAUM MARGOT TENENBAUM RICHIE TENENBAUM ELI CASH HENRY SHERMAN RALEIGH ST. CLAIR DUSTY PAGODA NARRATOR ARI TENENBAUM UZI TENENBAUM Gene Hackman Anjelica Houston Ben Stiller Gwyneth Paltrow Luke Wilson Owen Wilson Danny Glover Bill Murray Seymour Cassel Kumar Pallana Alec Baldwin Grant Rosenmeyer Jonah Meyerson
INSERT: A first edition copy of The Royal Tenenbaums. On the dust jacket there is an illustration of a creamcolored note card that looks like a wedding invitation. title of the book is engraved on the card. The next page says “Chapter One.” NARRATOR (V.O.) Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on Archer Avenue in the winter of his thirty-fifth year. CUT TO: A five-story limestone townhouse. A forty-three-year-old man in a raincoat rings the front doorbell. He is Royal. NARRATOR (CONT’D) Over the next decade, he and his wife had three children and then they separated. INT. DINING ROOM. DAY. He is surrounded by The
Royal sits at the head of a long table. his children.
Chas is twelve, with curly hair, dressed in a black suit and tie. Margot is ten, with a barrette in her hair, wearing a knitted LaCoste dress and penny loafers. Richie is eight, with long hair, parted on the side, dressed in a Bjorn Borgstyle tennis outfit with a headband. Chas wears a blank expression, Margot looks as if she is about to cry, and Richie has tears all over his face. MARGOT Are you getting divorced? ROYAL (gently) At the moment, no. good.
But it doesn’t look
RICHIE Do you still love us? ROYAL Of course, I do. CHAS (pointedly) Do you still love Mom?
2. CONTINUED: ROYAL Very much. But she asked me to leave, and I had to respect her position on the matter. MARGOT Was it our fault? ROYAL (long pause) No. Obviously, we had to make certain sacrifices as a result of having children, but no. Lord, no. RICHIE Why’d she ask you to leave? ROYAL (sadly) I don’t really know any more. Maybe I wasn’t as true to her as I could’ve been. CHAS Well, she says -ROYAL Let’s not rehash it, Chassie. An Indian man with salt-and-pepper hair, dressed in pink pants, a white shirt and a white apron, comes in from the kitchen with a Martini on a tray. He is Pagoda. NARRATOR (V.O.) They were never legally divorced. Pagoda hands Royal the Martini. ROYAL Thanks, Pagoda. INT. HALLWAY. DAY.
A gallery of the children’s art, done mostly in crayon, but with beautiful frames and careful lighting. The subject matter includes: spaceships, wild animals, sailboats, motorcycles, and war scenes with tanks and paratroopers. A stuffed and mounted boar’s head with its teeth bared hangs in the stairwell. A label on it says “Wild Javelina, Andes Mountains.” Under the stairs there is a telephone room the size of a closet. Old messages are tacked to the walls, and the children’s heights are marked on the door frame. A thirty-three-year-old woman with a scarf around her neck and sunglasses on top of her head talks on a rotary telephone. She is Etheline. (CONTINUED)
3. CONTINUED: Richie sits on her lap reading an Atlas of the World. Margot sits on a foot-stool reading The Cherry Orchard. Chas stands in the doorway with a slip of blue paper in his hand. NARRATOR (V.O.) Etheline Tenenbaum kept the house and raised the children, and their education was her highest priority. Etheline says into the telephone: ETHELINE I’ll hold, thank you. CHAS I need $187. ETHELINE (pause) Write yourself a check. Chas hands Etheline the slip of blue paper. INSERT: A cheque made out in the amount of $187. Etheline signs it. CUT TO: Chas taking back the cheque. telephone: Bene. Si. Etheline says into the
ETHELINE (CONT’D) Grazie mille.
Etheline hangs up. There is a schedule of activities -guitar, ballet, yoga, scuba-diving -- written on a chalkboard behind her and divided into columns labelled Chas, Richie and Margot. She changes an Italian lesson from 4:30 to 5:30. NARRATOR (V.O.) She wrote a book on the subject. INSERT: A copy of Etheline Tenenbaum’s book, Family of Geniuses. On the dust jacket there is a photograph of the three children conducting a press conference in a room crowded with journalists. It appears to have been published in the late seventies. CUT TO: The press conference. Chas points to a reporter.
CHAS The gentleman in the blue cardigan, please. (CONTINUED)
4. CONTINUED: (2) REPORTER I have a two-part question. CHAS DAY.
Thank you. Go ahead. INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM.
Chas’ room looks like a businessman’s office, except it is very small and has bunk beds. There is a desk with an Apple II computer and an electric coffee pot on it. There is a water cooler in the corner, with a paper cup dispenser. Chas stands talking on the telephone while Etheline brings in his lunch on a tray. NARRATOR (V.O.) Chas Tenenbaum had, since elementary school, taken most of his meals in his room, standing up at his desk with a cup of coffee, to save time. On a shelf in an alcove there are ten cages connected together by plastic tubes. White mice with tiny black spots all over them race around outside the cages. Chas feeds one of them a drop of blue liquid from a test tube. NARRATOR (CONT’D) In the sixth grade, he went into business, breeding dalmation mice, which he sold to a pet shop in Little Tokyo. There are twenty-five pinstriped suits in boys’ size twelve and an electric tie rack hanging in the closet. Chas pushes a button on the tie rack and the ties glide along a track. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He started buying real estate in his early teens and seemed to have an almost preternatural understanding of international finance. There are a small weightlifting bench and punchbag in the corner. There is a set of exercise charts neatly drawn with felt-tip pen tacked on the wall. Chas bench-presses about fifty pounds on a small barbell. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He negotiated the purchase of his father’s summer house on Eagle’s Island. EXT. BACKYARD. DAY.
A house in the country. Chas crouches in the bushes with a BB gun. Across the lawn, he sees two younger boys with BB guns drop down from a tree. (CONTINUED)
5. CONTINUED: One of the boys is Richie, and the other has nearly-white blond hair. He is Eli. He wears Apache warpaint. Chas gets Richie in his sights. ROYAL Hold it, Chassie. Chas freezes. He looks up and sees Royal watching from the roof with a BB gun trained on him. Royal is dressed in khaki pants, sunglasses and no shirt. CHAS What are you doing? ROYAL (hesitates) There are no teams. Royal fires. Chas screams and fires back as Royal scrambles away, laughing. NARRATOR (V.O.) The BB was still lodged between two knuckles in Chas’ left hand. INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. DAY. You’re on my team!
The walls of Margot’s room are red, with little running zebras painted all over them. There is a collection of African masks hanging in the corner. Margot sits at a small metal stand, typing on an IBM typewriter. NARRATOR (V.O.) Margot Tenenbaum was adopted at the age of two. Her father had always noted this when introducing her. CUT TO: A cocktail party. Royal introduces Margot to a group of elderly men in black tie. ROYAL This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum. Margot nods politely. CUT TO: A wall filled with bookshelves. There are thousands of books of plays. Margot takes out a copy of The Iceman Cometh. NARRATOR (V.O.) She was a playwright and won a Braverman Grant of fifty-thousand dollars in the ninth grade. (CONTINUED)
Eli is at the end of the line. Hi. she disappeared alone for almost two weeks and came back with half a finger missing. Richie has on a small backpack with a sleeping bag attached to it.O. CONTINUED: There is a mock-up of a stage set for a play that appears to have taken place in a network of tree houses on a tropical island. Eli. DAY.
Richie’s room is in the attic. MUSEUM. They both look extremely dishevelled and tired. Margot reads a book about sharks by the light of a flashlight.
Richie and Margot sit on a bench in front of a large Gothic building.) Richie Tenenbaum had been a champion tennis player since the third grade. Richie sits on the edge of his bed. CUT TO: Richie and Margot sharing a Boy Scout sleeping bag on a bench in a gallery of wildlife dioramas in a darkened museum. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. INSERT: A pair of knitted gloves.) Four years later. Margot places a tiny canoe beneath a palm tree. (CONTINUED)
. There are a chemistry set. Richie is asleep. a drum set and a long shelf filled with tennis trophies. too. He stops and stares at Margot and Richie. NARRATOR (V. A single-file line of students in Catholic school uniforms goes past them following a museum guide. I didn’t. MARGOT No. INT. NARRATOR (V.6. RICHIE
ELI You said I could run away. One finger has been clipped off at the middle knuckle and is being sewn up. DAY. Margot carries a small red suitcase.O. And don’t tell anybody you saw us. NARRATOR (CONT’D) She and her brother Richie ran away from home one winter and camped out in the African Wing of the Public Archives. EXT.
There is a map of the world on the wall. DAY. One corner is filled with seventeen almost identical portraits of Margot looking over the top of a book with an irritated expression. Margot sits alone in the next. vicious-looking pit bulls with scars all over them snarl at each other. Chas sits alone in one window. Richie sits at the console wearing a set of headphones. with colored pins stuck in different cities.
Royal and Richie stand among a group of Puerto Rican men as two large. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He turned pro at seventeen and won the U.O. Nationals three years in a row. desks and window sills. CUT TO: A ballroom with vaulted ceilings and a giant chandelier on the top floor of the house.7. Royal took him on outings around the city.) These invitations were never extended to anyone else.
. CONTINUED: There are thousands of Matchbox cars arranged on every available inch of space on tables. STREET. NARRATOR (CONT’D) On weekends.S. They both watch as Royal and Richie get out of a gypsy cab in front of the house. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He kept a studio in the corner of the ballroom but had failed to develop as a painter. CUT TO: The second floor of the Tenenbaum house. Richie throws in a dollar. NARRATOR (V. EXT. Eli sits alone in a window. Royal yells along with the others: Vamanos! ROYAL Andale!
Royal throws a fifty-dollar bill into a pile of money on the sidewalk. There is a ham radio set in the corner of the room. Richie parks a little Maserati next to a dune buggy. sharing a bag of peanuts and laughing. Etheline helps Richie hang a new portrait among the others. There is a slightly run-down thirty-five-story apartment building across the street.
Royal sits at a table with them. INT. NARRATOR (V. NARRATOR (V. NARRATOR (V. Chas is a bear and Richie is a leopard. NARRATOR (CONT’D) The three Tenenbaum children performed Margot’s first play on the night of her eleventh birthday. Eli finishes making his bed and folds it into the couch. He lets Eli inside. There is a small stage-set across the room for a play that appears to have taken place on a ship.
A two-room apartment with a crucifix on the wall.
DAY.O. EXT.) He was a regular fixture at family gatherings. There are strings of colored lights glowing around the front door and white paper bags with candles in them on the steps. Margot is a zebra.8. CHAS What’d you think. Dad? ROYAL It didn’t seem believable to me.O. drinking a glass of whiskey. APARTMENT. holidays. BALLROOM.O.
INT. Eli is dressed in pajamas. STREET.) Richie’s best friend Eli Cash lived with his aunt in a building across the street.
There are twenty eleven-year-olds wearing party hats. Chas and Richie are in costumes. Margot. He carries a small package wrapped in red-and-pinkstriped paper with a white ribbon on it.) They had agreed to invite their father to the party. Pagoda opens the door. Royal rings the front doorbell. mornings before school and most afternoons. He wears a set of house keys on a string around his neck. NIGHT. DAY. An elderly woman works at a sewing machine in the next room. (CONTINUED)
. He is dressed in pajamas. slippers and a bathrobe.
Eli walks up the front steps of the Tenenbaum house and rings the doorbell. CUT TO: The Tenenbaum house at night.
Etheline stands in the doorway with a birthday cake on a tray. and feeds him some sardines from a tin. The falcon has a hood over its eyes. (CONTINUED)
. one man’s opinion. Pagoda stands at the light switch. Everyone begins to sing “Happy Birthday. Royal looks across the room. Richie opens the coop. everyone. and the singing disintegrates. Don’t get mad. NARRATOR (V. Richie carries the falcon on his arm to the edge of the roof. Etheline blows out the candles. Royal shakes his head.” Margot walks out of the room. virtually all memory of the brilliance of the young Tenenbaums had been erased by two decades of betrayal. She looks furious.O. failure and disaster. Mordecai. NARRATOR He had not been invited to any of their parties since.) In fact. RICHIE Go. She is silent.9. Royal says to Eli: Do you
ROYAL (CONT’D) Why are you wearing pajamas? live here?
RICHIE He has permission to sleep over. DAY. carefully removes the falcon’s hood. CONTINUED: Chas looks at Margot. The candles are lit. CHAS Did you think the characters were -ROYAL What characters? It was just a bunch of little kids dressed in animal costumes. ROYAL Sweetie. Margot quickly collects her unopened presents from the table.
There is a large antenna for Richie’s ham radio and a wooden coop with a falcon in it. That’s just
The lights go down. She puts Royal’s aside and sets it in front of him. EXT. ROOF. MARGOT Goodnight.
with grey hair. He puts it on at an angle and stares at himself. A woman in a white apron lifts off the towel. The woman quickly peels them away and begins to massage his temples. Royal lights a cigarette at the end of a three-inch holder.
. He is getting a facial.10. Etheline Tenenbaum draws eyeliner around her eyes in the dressing mirror. She is smoking a cigarette. CONTINUED: The falcon spreads its wings and lunges into the sky. He stops suddenly. They are also shaving. She wears a pink slip and a gold locket. and excitedly dictates something into it. Ari and Uzi Tenenbaum are on either side of him. worn very long in the back. Steam fills the air. and Royal looks in the mirror. and there are little clamps and bits of foil twisted into it. He is now sixty-six. The wall behind her is filled with portraits of tribesmen and native warriors from around the world. She lowers them and does her lipstick. white at the temples. He is thirty-six and in top fighting condition. black hair with one silver streak that runs through it. She is thirty-four. MONTAGE: (The names of each of our characters and the names of the actors playing them appear over the following shots. Eli picks out a sandwich. She holds up a pair of prescription sunglasses and looks at herself. and there are strips of blue cellophane covering his face. Clair brushes his teeth with an electric toothbrush in a very small. Her hair is being dyed. but with no blades in their razors. He has a full. All three have extremely curly black hair. The tailor’s helper brings Eli a cup of tea and some cucumber sandwiches. She has one fake finger made of wood. Releigh St. gray beard and round glasses. and he is dressed in red silk pajamas with white piping. She is fifty-five and has long. Eli Cash is in the fitting room of a clothing store having a white buckskin jacket with fringe taken in.) Royal Tenenbaum sits in a chair in his hotel suite with no shirt on and a towel wrapped around his face. white-tiled bathroom. He puts the tape recorder back on the sink and starts brushing his teeth again. picks up a tape recorder off the edge of the sink. A tailor pulls at the hem of the jacket and sticks pins in the sleeves. A second helper hands him a short-brimmed Stetson cowboy hat. Chas Tenenbaum shaves in the locker room of a boxing gym. They are eight and ten. and she blows a puff of smoke as the hair dryer is lowered onto her head. Margot Tenenbaum is at a hairdresser’s with three people working on her at once. She holds an open copy of a book of plays by George Bernard Shaw.
He is thirty-two. smiles sadly. He is a tall black man. a headband. fifty-six years old. the masseuse. with grey hair and a moustache. INSERT: Page 22 of The Royal Tenenbaums. with long hair. Royal lies on his stomach on a massage table getting a massage from a young Asian woman. MANAGER I’ve been instructed to refuse any further charges on your room account and to direct you in writing to please vacate the premises by the end of the month. and penny loafers. and a beard. INSERT: (CONTINUED)
. Richie Tenenbaum looks at himself in the mirror in his stateroom on board an ocean liner. He carefully folds a checkered handkerchief and tucks it into his breast pocket. The manager hands Royal the piece of paper. the Landlord. HOTEL ROOM. DAY. A towel on the dresser says The Cote d’Ivoire in red stitching. Sherman. in red ink. and takes a picture of himself. He wears a doublebreasted navy blazer.”
Royal’s suite at the Lindbergh Palace Hotel.) Royal had lived in the Lindbergh Palace Hotel for twenty-two years. INT. The ocean goes by at a fast clip in the porthole behind him.11. ROYAL What about Sing-Sang? hundred. There is a hand-lettered sign regarding trash and recycling taped to the wall behind him. It is signed H. The manager of the hotel stands in front of Royal with a piece of paper in his hand. There is a set of Encyclopedia Britannica. a striped tennis shirt. He puts the camera back into his pocket and goes out the door. He points it at his reflection. CONTINUED: (2) Henry Sherman stands in front of a mirrored wall in a vestibule of his building. parted on the side. I owe her a Royal points to
The manager looks to the masseuse. NARRATOR (V. He wears a khaki suit. He takes out a little camera. underneath a row of mailboxes. an exercise bicycle and a Xerox machine. There are shelves full of law books and hundreds of spy novels in stacks on the floor. It says “Chapter Two.O.
INT. The manager hesitates.O. when he was disbarred and briefly imprisoned.) He was a prominent litigator until the mid-eighties. we have no -CUT TO: The masseuse.
The radio room on board the Cote d’Ivoire. RICHIE New paragraph.
. and a crew of technicians in white uniforms. I’m in the middle of the ocean. RADIO ROOM. It
MANAGER Can you pay her in cash? Royal shakes his head. Tenenbaum. In light of your continuing failure to remit any form of payment.
NARRATOR (V. The radio operator finishes typing a message into a keyboard and looks up to Richie. There is a mist outside the window. There are computer terminals. I haven’t left my room in four days. and an oil tanker in the distance. The radio operator looks to Richie. begins: Dear Mr. He lights a cigarette. RADIO OPERATOR Dear Eli. maps on the walls. CONTINUED: A letter typed on Lindbergh Palace Hotel stationary. NARRATOR (CONT’D) No one in his family had spoken to him in three years. RICHIE Read it back to me so far. Pietro. short-wave radios.12. and I think I’m in love with Margot. I’ve never been more lonely in my life. DAY. (CONTINUED) Richie nods. CUT TO: Royal standing in the window looking out at the falling snow as Sing-Sang folds up the massage table behind him. She does not appear to understand English.
the Amazon and the Nile. His last match had been widely discussed in the media.O. INSERT: A copy of the Sporting Press magazine. amigos.) Eli was an assistant professor of English Literature at Brooks College.O. five oceans.
Eli stands at a podium reading from a book to a crowded audience. LIBRARY. He wraps a scarf around his neck and goes out the door. Vamanos. “Tenenbaum suffers midmatch nervous collapse in the semis at Windswept Fields. and threw the busted leather flintscraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock.13. He closes his book. and there are tears all over his face. ELI The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sagethicket.) Richie had retired from professional tennis at twenty-six. The recent publication of his second novel -(CONTINUED)
. NARRATOR (V.” CUT TO: Richie dictating to the radio operator. uproariously. His voice is quietly dramatic. He wears no shoes and only one sock. he whispered. there is a photograph of Richie standing at the baseline of a tennis court. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight.) For the past year he had been traveling alone on an ocean liner called the Cote d’Ivoire and had seen both poles. The stands behind him are filled with confused fans. RICHIE Your friend. Richie. NARRATOR (V. in smaller letters. The audience applauds
Richie signs a slip of paper and hands it to the radio operator.O. On the cover. INT. NIGHT. A caption across the page says “Meltdown!” And. Eli looks up. A telegram marked “Ship to Shore” is tucked into his coat pocket. End of letter. CONTINUED: Richie takes a sip of a Bloody Mary.
CONTINUED: INSERT: A copy of Eli Cash’s latest book. Old Custer. do you genius?
Someone gives Eli a book to sign. CUT TO: Eli standing near the circulation desk with a group of professors drinking cocktails.) -. ELI Well.14. He says sadly: ELI (CONT’D) You didn’t even have to think about it. He unfolds a newspaper clipping and looks at it while he waits. INT. did you? INT.had earned him a sudden. bloody knife clasped between his teeth and a yellow scalp hanging from his hand.O. There are cotton balls between her toes. He says suddenly into the receiver: ELI (CONT’D) Let me ask you something. and she has a towel wrapped around her. reviewer make the point of someone’s not a genius? I think I’m especially not a Isn’t that -Why would a saying mean.
Eli walks among the card catalogues surrounded by a crowd of admirers. BATHROOM. Margot sits Indian-style on the counter painting her toenails red and talking on the telephone. unexpected literary celebrity. NIGHT. NARRATOR (V. On the dust jacket there is an illustration of an Indian in warpaint with a long.
The bathroom of Margot’s and Raleigh’s apartment. everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. CUT TO: Eli placing a call from a pay phone in the lobby. What this book presupposes is: (tentatively) maybe he didn’t? Eli shrugs and smiles. He scribbles his name on it and hands it back without looking. NIGHT. LOBBY. (CONTINUED)
NARRATOR (V. please? Margot puts out her cigarette. I just don’t use that word lightly.O. Eli. my darling? (CONTINUED)
.dressed in a Speedo. standing next to a Kasawa.on a beach. Margot whispers into the telephone: MARGOT Well.
Raleigh has an English accent with a lisp. RALEIGH How are you. A little black-andwhite television set is tuned in to the six o’clock news with the sound turned off. On the dust jacket. He seems worried and intimidated. The Kasawa stares at him curiously. He is wearing red pajamas and a camel’s-hair bathrobe. MARGOT (CONT’D) I have to go. with goggles on top of his head -. Clair’s latest book.) Margot was married to the writer and neurologist Raleigh St. INSERT: A copy of Raleigh St. There is knock on the door. Raleigh cracks open the door and looks inside. Clair. there is a photograph of Raleigh -. She reaches over and unlocks the door with her foot. CUT TO: Raleigh looking in the bathroom doorway. CONTINUED: Hot water runs full blast in the bathtub. turns on a little electric fan. and sprays perfume into the air with an atomizer. Margot answers without taking the cigarette out of her mouth. The Peculiar Neurodegenerative Inhabitants of the Kazawa Atoll. Uh-huh? MARGOT
RALEIGH May I come in. Margot hangs up the telephone. She waves the smoke away. Margot? RALEIGH There is another knock.15. Margot does not look up. Margot takes a drag of a cigarette balanced at the edge of the sink.
A younger Margot stands behind them partly hidden in the door frame. He goes out suddenly and closes the door. thank you.) She had not completed a play in seven years. Margot opens a box of Q-Tips. The titles include: Static Electricity. RALEIGH You must eat something. which she had been since the age of twelve.O. Erotic Transference and Nakedness Tonight. INSERT: A remaindered copy of Desmond Winston Manchester XI’s LP record Dynamite Stick. NARRATOR (V.) She was known for her extreme secrecy. NARRATOR (V. your dinner? MARGOT No. She looks to Raleigh. There is a cigarette hidden inside. On the sleeve there is a photograph of five Rastafarians standing in front of a metal shack. none of the Tenenbaums knew she was a smoker. For example. She is dressed in a string bikini. Raleigh hesitates.16. She takes it out and lights it. Shall I make
A small room with one wooden chair and a metal stand with an IBM electric typewriter on it.O. The wooden one makes a clicking sound. STUDIO. NARRATOR (CONT’D) Nor were they aware of her first marriage and divorce to a recording artist in Jamaica. thank you. DAY. NARRATOR (CONT’D) She kept a private studio in Mockingbird Heights under the name Helen Scott. Margot blows on her toenails. CONTINUED: (2) MARGOT Fine. INT.
. Margot reaches over with her foot and locks it. There are posters for several of Margot’s plays leaning against the walls. Margot taps her fingers on the counter.
DAY.O. Raleigh says into his tape recorder: RALEIGH Seventeen October. RALEIGH’S LABORATORY.) Raleigh’s next book was on the subject of a condition he called Heinsbergen’s Syndrome. Third examination of Dudley Heinsbergen. How interesting. Dudley finishes arranging his blocks into the shape of a lopsided octagon with branches coming out of it. Dudley. Dudley stands on the far side of the room misspelling words on a chalkboard.
Raleigh’s basement. Done. NARRATOR (V. Dudley sets to work. with a highly acute sense of hearing.
RALEIGH My goodness. A cardboard screen stands in between the two sets of blocks. Dudley’s are strewn out randomly. Raleigh lifts the cardboard screen and looks to Dudley. Raleigh is dressed in a turtleneck shirt and a corduroy blazer with suede patches on the elbows. RALEIGH (CONT’D) All right. He wears Henry Aaron-style flip-up sunglasses. moving his blocks around slowly. How CUT TO: Raleigh sitting in a corner.
. Make yours look like mine. (CONTINUED)
Raleigh begins to laugh quietly. bizarre.17. DUDLEY He shakes his head. The boy has an earphone in his ear. Raleigh’s are arranged in the shape of a symmetrical cross. dyslexia and color-blindness. across from a fifteen-year-old boy in a plaid fishing hat with “Dudley” stitched across the front. Raleigh sits at a table. Raleigh whispers into his tape recorder: RALEIGH (CONT’D) Dudley suffers from a rare disorder combining the symptoms of amnesia. Raleigh and Dudley both have a set of building blocks in front of them.
Ari’s and Uzi’s bedroom. Rachael. His expression is blank. He screams: Uzi! INT. He is shirtless and has on pajama bottoms.
Ari presses the button for the elevator and waits. tipping over chairs and blasting the tape recorder. Chas yells to Ari: Uzi has on a pajama top
. There are two fire extinguishers and a large firstaid kit mounted on the wall. NIGHT.
RALEIGH I’m afraid you are. NARRATOR (V. CHAS’ APARTMENT. There are night lights in every socket. Chas and Uzi rush into the hallway. It is perfectly neat and organized like a military barracks. The apartment is extremely large and spare. He hesitates. He looks to Uzi. There is a turtle in a fish tank in the corner. which blasts a recording of a police siren at full volume.O.18. He puts on a pair of cleats and grabs the turtle out of the fish tank. RALEIGH (CONT’D) There is also evidence of -DUDLEY I’m not color-blind. He yells at the top of his lungs: CHAS Fire alarm! Ari! alive! Uzi! Let’s go! Look
Ari bolts out of the top bunk. am I? Raleigh looks to Dudley. He looks half asleep. INT.) Chas’ wife. He presses play on the tape recorder. CHAS (CONT’D) Let’s go! NIGHT. and underwear. Chas stands in the doorway. was killed in a plane crash the previous summer. In the other hand. It looks like a museum. which begins blinking rapidly in a strobe effect. HALLWAY. Chas runs around the room. he holds a fishing lantern. In one hand. Uzi sits up. Ari and Uzi are sound asleep in their bunk beds. He turns on the lantern. he holds a small tape recorder. CONTINUED: Dudley turns around suddenly and frowns.
The street is deserted. The wind blows her dress sideways. The lantern is still blinking. NIGHT. who was discovered in his cage several thousand yards from the crash site. The boys wear camp shorts and no shirts.
Chas. NARRATOR (V. His breathing is wheezy. A cloud of smoke billows in the distance. NIGHT. INSERT: A slide projected onto a screen. CUT TO: A dog’s cage upside down in the desert surrounded by scraps of metal and clothing. BATHROOM. Burned to a crisp. We’re all dead. NIGHT. SIDEWALK. INT.
UZI What about Buckley? CHAS You forgot him.19. Uzi starts to cry.
The beagle is asleep next to the bathtub on a little bed with “Buckley” written on it. Chas’ siren can be heard in the distance outside the window. There is a beagle looking out of the window of the plane. as did their dog. looking up at the building. CONTINUED: CHAS No elevators! There’s a fire! INT. Ari and Uzi stand on the sidewalk. and she is laughing. were also on the flight and survived. He looks very old and has white fur around his eyes. The tape recorder has been turned off.
They race down the stairs. The mother has on sunglasses with a scarf tied over her hair. Ari and Uzi. CHAS Four minutes and forty-eight seconds. It stops. EXT. Chas turns off the lantern and presses stop on his stopwatch.) Chas and their two sons. Uzi is doing a karate stance. STAIRWELL. Chas picks up Uzi. Ari and Uzi and their mother stand in front of a small plane outside a hangar.O. (CONTINUED)
O. He looks disoriented and weak.) She taught bridge class twice a week with her friend and business manager. ETHELINE’S STUDY.20. The doorman watches uneasily from the lobby. Etheline looks up
NARRATOR (V. INSERT:
. CONTINUED: Chas shakes his head. HENRY Apropos of my question re: I-40 slash I9 adjustments. His hair is now white. Henry Sherman.) Etheline became an archaeologist and had overseen excavations for the Department of Housing and the Transit Authority. Uzi is still crying. INT. A human skeleton hangs on a stand in the corner. listening to a Walkman with headphones. CHAS It doesn’t matter. at him curiously. He is working on her taxes. DAY. He seems very nervous. Ari and Uzi look scared.O. Pagoda sits on a bench outside. The back doors are open on to the garden. Etheline is at her desk studying an arrowhead while Henry sits next to her.) Over the last six months. Chas sits down on the sidewalk. There are stacks of National Geographics on the floor.
NARRATOR (V. There are shelves full of hundreds of bones and bits of pottery with little numbers painted on them. peeling potatoes. He says quietly:
The walls of Etheline’s study are filled with pre-Columbian art and primitive tools and weapons. Henry stands up. NARRATOR (V. he had become increasingly concerned with their safety.O. Chas rubs his eyes and his temples. UZI We left Buckley.
caption at the top of the cover says “A Guide to Personal Finance. A
CUT TO: Henry looking down at Etheline.21. in light of the circumstances. He takes off one ear of his headphones. A title identifies him as Neville Smythe-Dorleac. (CONTINUED)
. He checks the elevation with a compass. He wears a hooded fur coat and has ice frozen into his beard. CONTINUED: A copy of Henry Sherman’s book. she had had many suitors -MONTAGE: A large man stands on a glacier in Antarctica with penguins behind him. HENRY It would probably be advantageous for your marital status to be legally established as single. Etheline puts on her prescription sunglasses.O. I didn’t. ETHELINE What do you mean? HENRY I mean for tax purposes. HENRY (CONT’D) I love you. NARRATOR (V. ETHELINE (pause) But I thought it was -Etheline? Yes? HENRY ETHELINE
HENRY Will you marry me? Pagoda stops peeling the potatoes. Henry nods calmly. Accounting for Everything. Did you already know that? ETHELINE No.” It appears to have been published in the late sixties.) Since her separation from her husband.
NARRATOR (CONT’D) -. and a safety pin holds his glasses together. The elevator operator has a thin. Tell Mr. a dark pink shirt. Etheline starts to say something. perfectly round glasses on a settee in a room filled with avant-garde furniture and sculpture. He has several sets of blueprints under his arm. TELEPHONE ROOM.22. weathered face and wears a safari jacket. Royal this is the Pagoda. CONTINUED: (2) An Asian man in a tweed suit and large. She takes Henry’s hand. Pagoda frowns. A title identifies him as Franklin Benedict. and Aristotle Onassis-style wrap-around sunglasses. gray moustache and jetblack hair. Pagoda places a call.
Royal rides down in the elevator at the Lindbergh Palace. Henry. INT. surrounded by extras dressed as futuristic earthlings and aliens. He is dressed in a gray double-breasted Savile Row pinstripe suit. DAY. The elevator stops. She hesitates.
ETHELINE This isn’t really a tax issue. A title identifies him as Yasuo Oshima. He has a strong. is it? HENRY (pause) That’s true. He has two bandaged shaving cuts. He smokes a cigarette. I don’t know why I put it that way. Dusty. INT. DAY.
ETHELINE Let me think about it. ELEVATOR. please. PAGODA Hello. CUT TO: Henry looking down at Etheline.but had not considered a single one until this moment. a red-and-pink-striped tie. He is Dusty. A white-haired man sits in a director’s chair on a sound stage. Etheline smiles slightly. (CONTINUED)
. ROYAL Thanks.
Pagoda. LOBBY. misting rain falls.
ROYAL What do you got? EXT. light. Mr.
ROYAL I don’t like the sound of this one damn bit. CITY PARK. INSERT: (CONTINUED)
.23. DAY. ROYAL (quietly) No shit? And what’d Ethel say? PAGODA She thinks about it. Who is it? ROYAL
BELLBOY A Mr. The telephone rings. (pause) And no goddamn two-bit chartered accountant’s going to change that. I mean. crosses through a gigantic lobby. Lord knows I’ve had my share of infidelities. TELEPHONE BOOTH. Royal points to a little wood-paneled telephone booth. Pagoda. He shakes his head. ROYAL I’ll take it in there. INT. INT. A bellboy appears. PAGODA The black man asks her to be his wife. Royal stares off into space. Tenenbaum. BELLBOY There’s a call for you. A
Royal and Pagoda stand alone in the middle of a field. DAY. DAY. He
The elevator doors open and Royal strides out quickly. Royal answers it. But she’s still my wife. CONTINUED: DUSTY You’re welcome.
Ari and a uniformed driver are unpacking suitcases. LIVING ROOM.” INT. The driver is Anwar. Etheline hesitates. boxing gloves and a computer. Anwar and Pagoda come out of the hallway and cross through the living room. CHAS Give us a hand. He starts down the steps. boxes.
INT. Uzi is on the steps with a duffel bag over his shoulder and a stack of coloring books under his arm. There is a silver BMW parked at the curb with three doors and the trunk open. Buckley has a cold and coughs often. It says “Chapter Three. Chas? ETHELINE
Chas stops in the doorway. Etheline and Henry are among them.
The doorbell rings. They look very distinguished. Uzi. Anwar and Buckley out of the room. Ari. up the stairs. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What’s going on? CHAS We got locked out of our apartment. NIGHT. HALLWAY. Chas. Chas. Pagoda comes into the hallway and opens the front door. blankets.24. Pagoda carries the fish tank with the turtle in it. Pagoda leads Ari.
There are twenty people at five card tables playing bridge. CONTINUED: Page 50 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Pagoda. Buckley is at his side. clothes. Etheline seems confused. Buckley follows them. toys. Ari and Uzi all wear red Adidas warm-ups. Uzi. struggling with all of their possessions. ETHELINE Did you call a locksmith? CHAS (hesitates) Uh-huh. NIGHT. Chas. Most of them are in their fifties and sixties. The bridge players watch strangely as they pass. Chas looks back at them but keeps moving.
. Pagoda frowns.
NIGHT. HALLWAY. Did you pack your bags before you got locked out? Or how did you -CHAS It’s not safe over there. Chas looks up and studies the ceiling. Etheline looks concerned. It feels like we’re
Chas chuckles as he turns on his old electric tie rack. ETHELINE Excuse me for a moment. NIGHT. but acts incredibly cheerful. INT.25. CHAS’ BEDROOM. CUT TO: Two dalmation mice chewing on a plate of hors d'oeuvres on the window sill. The bridge players watch them silently. ETHELINE But there’s no sprinklers here. CHAS Isn’t this great? camping. too. (CONTINUED)
. He looks like a wreck. we might have to do something about that. I have to get some new sprinklers and a back-up security system installed. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) I don’t understand. Chas stand alone in the hallway.
CHAS Well. either. Silence.
Ari and Uzi sit silently on the bunk beds in Chas’ room. Etheline looks to her guests. please. She and
Etheline closes the sliding door to the living room. pretending not to notice how sad the boys look. They have dark circles under their eyes and seem exhausted. He shrugs. ETHELINE What are you talking about? CHAS The apartment. Chas walks around the room examining things. INT.
Royal sits on the edge of an examination table with white butcher paper on it. CONTINUED: ARI When are we going home? Chas sees something across the room. there’s a number of possibilities. DAY. and that way we can all be together. Chas spreads out a blanket on the floor and lies down. comes and lies down next to him. A young doctor on a rolling stool takes Royal’s blood pressure as they talk. It is a tennis-shoe advertisement with a picture of Richie holding a trophy over his head. Severe nausea and dizziness are standard. CHAS Who put that in here? There is a framed poster leading against the wall in the corner. CHAS (CONT’D) See you in the morning.
CHAS (CONT’D) You know what? I’m going to sleep in here. DOCTOR’S OFFICE. A caption across the top says “The Baumer.
. ROYAL What kind of side effects can be expected? DOCTOR Well. INT.” Chas turns it around to face the wall. He frowns.26. Chas goes out the door. Royal nods gravely. surrounded by a cheering crowd. ROYAL You mean like flopping around on the floor and everything? DOCTOR In some cases. he comes back in. A certain percentage of patients may also experience seizure. A moment later. He kisses Ari and Uzi goodnight.
ETHELINE Well. RALEIGH You have a visitor. it can’t be very good for your eyes. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Chas came home. anyway. Margot answers without opening the door: Who is it? MARGOT
ETHELINE It’s me. MARGOT I tied it to the radiator.
Etheline and Raleigh stand outside the bathroom in Margot and Raleigh’s apartment. She looks to Etheline. do you? Nor do I think it’s very intelligent to keep an electrical gadget on the edge of the bathtub. I don’t think that’s very healthy. ETHELINE Raleigh says you’ve been spending six hours a day locked in here watching television and soaking in the tub. There is a length of red twine wrapped around it and knotted to a pipe. MARGOT (pause) I doubt that. INT.
DAY. Silence. Etheline looks to Raleigh. Etheline sits on the edge of the tub with her coat in her lap.
EXT. A key slides from under the door to Etheline’s feet. Raleigh knocks on the door. Etheline examines the television set.
Margot is in the bathtub watching Planet of the Apes on her little black-and-white television set. DAY. Etheline smooths back Margot’s wet hair.27. (CONTINUED)
. BATHROOM. my darling. sweetie. Margot turns off the television set with her foot. Raleigh looks embarrassed. ETHELINE Well. Etheline has on an overcoat and gloves. HALLWAY.
exactly. Margot sets down her suitcases and goes into a telephone booth with graffiti spray-painted all over it. RALEIGH But why is this bloody necessary? MARGOT Because I’m in a rut. ETHELINE (pause) So are you what? EXT. Raleigh waits uncomfortably outside the telephone booth. She closes the door and makes a call. I don’t know. DAY. A gypsy cab pulls over. Etheline and Dudley walk behind them. Margot comes out and goes down the steps with three suitcases and her TV.
The front door of Margot and Raleigh’s apartment building opens. Raleigh follows her. DUDLEY That taxi has a dent in it. MARGOT (frowns) Why are they allowed to do that? ETHELINE (hesitates) Well. and I need a change.28. CONTINUED: MARGOT (pause) What do you mean? ETHELINE He and Ari and Uzi are going to stay with me for a little while. STREET. Raleigh sounds desperately unhappy. RALEIGH You don’t love me anymore. Margot comes out of the telephone booth. Etheline stands on the corner and raises her hand into the air. do you? (CONTINUED)
. He watches Margot talking on the telephone. Dudley points at the taxi. Hang on. But I think he’s been very depressed ever since -MARGOT (urgently) So am I.
She looks at Eli strangely. INT. ELI (CONT’D) Could we have dinner with your mother sometime? Margot frowns. MARGOT
ELI (shrugs) I don’t know. Margot puts her suitcases into Dudley continues to point at it. the back seat of the taxi. Raleigh and Dudley watch the taxi drive away.
. CUT TO: Margot and Eli in Margot’s single bed with the sheets pulled over their heads. Margot gets into the taxi.29. NIGHT. She closes the door and locks it. Dudley takes a bite of a graham cracker. He whispers: ELI Hello. She whispers: Hello? MARGOT
There is a rustle behind some hanging clothes. beautiful. Eli looks out nervously and slowly emerges.
DUDLEY Another dent here and another dent there. smoking a cigarette. Margot is eating potato chips. Etheline looks at Raleigh sadly. OK? Raleigh nods. Raleigh has tears in his eyes. He is dressed in white briefs. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. She opens the door to the closet and turns on the light. Raleigh looks crestfallen.
Margot goes into her room and sets her suitcases on the floor. kind of. and watching the news on her TV with the sound turned off. I’d just love to see her. She gets into the taxi and closes the door. MARGOT (gently) I’ll call you. CONTINUED: MARGOT I do. I can’t explain it right now.
Eli looks disappointed.
ETHELINE What are you doing here? ROYAL I need a favor. ROYAL You got a minute? Etheline looks startled. He nods. She looks to Royal. ROYAL I’m dying. Eli. EXT. Royal suddenly appears at her side. SIDEWALK. ROYAL I want my family back. ETHELINE Well. ETHELINE What are you talking about? Royal stares at her blankly. ETHELINE Are you crazy? ROYAL Now. baby. I’m sorry for
Royal hesitates for a fraction of a second. Etheline stops. hold on. She keeps walking. I’ll be dead in six weeks.
ETHELINE (CONT’D) What happened? (CONTINUED)
. dammit. I’m dying.
The next morning.
ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m sick as a dog. DAY. you. you can’t have it. Etheline comes out the front door of the Tenenbaum house and goes down the steps.30. but it’s too late. CONTINUED: MARGOT I don’t think so. I want to spend some time with you and the children. ETHELINE Stop following me.
Hold on. Ethel. scared. ROYAL (CONT’D) Maybe two. down. But I need some
Etheline looks puzzled. ETHELINE (CONT’D) I didn’t know. He looks Royal tries to calm her
ETHELINE (urgently) Where’s the doctor? ROYAL Wait a second. Etheline stumbles a step and Royal catches her.
He hesitates. nervously.31. I’m sorry. suddenly worried. ROYAL
. I want us to -She says furiously:
Etheline slaps Royal hard in the face. Etheline looks as if she is going to faint.
ETHELINE (CONT’D) Oh. my God. A month.
Let’s get --
Royal holds Etheline by the shoulders. ETHELINE What’s wrong with you? Ethel.
ETHELINE (CONT’D) What’d they say? What’s the prognosis? Etheline begins to hyperventilate. says gently. time.
ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m not dying. trying to comfort her: Listen. Etheline looks stunned. Royal looks around Royal seems
Etheline cannot seem to catch her breath. CONTINUED: Royal shrugs. ROYAL Take it easy. ROYAL (CONT’D) Hold on.
HENRY And are they all right? ETHELINE Hard to say. A sign on the wall says “Water Safety and Rescue Class. ETHELINE Are you or aren’t you? ROYAL (pause) Dying? Yes. Ari talks on a pay phone next to an indoor pool. She goes over to him in the middle of the intersection.
.” Chas sits at the desk in his bedroom on Archer Avenue. There are ledger books and adding machines in front of him and glass statues of birds and animals behind him.
Etheline stops. She looks back to Royal. ROYAL I am dying. She can see from the look on his face that now he is telling the truth. ARI You told us he was already dead. INT. INT. DAY. HENRY’S APARTMENT/ETHELINE’S TELEPHONE ROOM.32. Each wears goggles and an orange life-jacket belted tightly.m. Henry sits at a desk in his study.
A telephone conversation.
A second telephone conversation. CONTINUED: (2) ETHELINE
Etheline turns away and walks quickly across the street. Baby. DAY. 375TH STREET Y/CHAS’ ROOM. UZI Who’s your father? CHAS His name’s Royal Tenenbaum. Uzi stands beside him. 11 a. HENRY Have you told your children? ETHELINE More or less. Etheline is in the telephone room on Archer Avenue.
33. CONTINUED: CHAS (hesitates) But now he’s really dying. INT. ELI’S TOWNHOUSE/MARGOT’S BATHROOM-DARKROOM. DAY.
A third telephone conversation. Eli sits on a couch in front of a painting of two men wearing ski masks riding a motorcycle chasing after a screaming girl in a bikini. He smokes a long, Moroccan-looking pipe. Margot talks on the telephone in her bathroom on Archer Avenue. There are three bottles of developing chemicals and a photographic enlarger next to the sink. ELI I’m very sorry, Margot. That’s OK. anyway. MARGOT We’re not actually related,
ELI That’s true. EXT. BOAT DECK. DAY.
The Cote d’Ivoire. Richie sits under a wool blanket in a chaise lounge reading a telegram with “Shore to Ship” printed across the top. He looks upset. A waiter stands next to him with a pen and a pad of paper in his hand. All of the other passengers on the deck are very elderly and have white hair. RICHIE I’d like to send a response, Alberto. Yes, sir. WAITER Go ahead. I’m
RICHIE Dear Mom, I received your message. coming home as soon as possible. (pause) Who do I see about that? The waiter shrugs. EXT. PIER 32. DAY.
The entrance to the passenger terminal for the Cote d’Ivoire. A sign across the glass says “Royal Arctic Line.” Richie stands on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets as bundled-up, white-haired passengers and baggage handlers run by around him. He has two small suitcases and a vinyl bag with a pouch on he side for a tennis racket. There is no racket in it. Two elderly men with white hair come over to him. (CONTINUED)
34. CONTINUED: ELDERLY MAN 1 Can we get a picture with you, Baumer? Richie nods. One of the elderly men gives his camera to a baggage handler, and they stand next to Richie. ELDERLY MAN 2 I saw you whip Vishniac in the finals at Glenchester. You were beautiful back then. Richie smiles briefly. picture. The baggage handler takes the
ELDERLY MAN 1 Thanks, Champ. The two elderly men walk away. A city bus stops at the corner. The door opens and Margot gets out. She smiles at Richie and waves. She wears a mink coat with a belt around it. She has on pink gloves. She walks across the sidewalk and stops ten feet in front of Richie as the bus drives away. They stand there smiling at each other. MARGOT Stand up straight and let me get a look at you. Richie stands up a little straighter and continues to look at Margot with the same smile. MARGOT (CONT’D) What’s so funny? Richie shrugs. MARGOT (CONT’D) Well, it’s nice to see you, too. Their smiles fade, and they both look cold and sad. Richie reaches out his hand. Margot goes over to him and puts her arms around him. EXT. TENENBAUM HOUSE. DAY.
Margot and Richie stand on the steps in front of the house. The door opens and Etheline and Pagoda come outside and hug Richie. Richie and Henry shake hands. Ari and Uzi come running out and hug Richie. NARRATOR (V.O.) That night, Etheline found all of her children living together under the same roof for the first time in seventeen years.
35. CONTINUED: Chas watches from his window on the third floor. Richie looks up and sees him. Richie waves tentatively. Chas waves back without smiling. EXT. ROOF. DAWN. opens feet, says and
Richie comes out on to the roof dressed in pajamas. He his falcon’s coop. He puts his hand under the falcon’s and the falcon steps on to his fist. The falcon’s hood Mordecai across the front. Richie pulls a leather cord lifts the hood off the falcon’s head. He strokes the falcon’s feathers and talks softly in its ear. NARRATOR (V.O.) The next morning Richie woke at dawn. He had decided birds should not be kept in cages, fed Mordecai three sardines, and set him free.
CUT TO: An hour later. Richie sits on a box on the roof eating a bowl of cereal and reading a book called Three Plays by Margot Tenenbaum. There is an empty tin of sardines at his feet. The door to the falcon’s coop is open, and the falcon is gone. INSERT: Page 76 of The Royal Tenenbaums. EXT. STREET. EVENING. It says “Chapter Four.”
Royal gets out of a gypsy cab in front of the Tenenbaum house. He is dressed in a white bathrobe, white pajamas and red bedroom slippers. He carries a cane, but walks across the sidewalk quickly and energetically. Pagoda waits for him at the top of the steps. hands. Silence. OK. ROYAL They shake
Pagoda opens the front door. INT. LIVING ROOM. EVENING.
Royal sits on a stool across from Richie and Margot on the couch. Chas stands at a table in the corner reading Richie’s Atlas of the World. Royal looks to Chas. Chas looks back at him but does not move. Royal looks back to Richie and Margot. ROYAL I’ve missed the hell out of you, my darlings. You know that, don’t you? (CONTINUED)
Not long. from his atlas. The three of you and your mother are all I’ve got. CHAS (yawning) How long are you going to last? Royal looks across the room at Chas. CONTINUED: MARGOT I hear you’re dying. Royal looks back to Richie and Margot. Thank you. RICHIE You don’t look so sick. I’m sorry. MARGOT
ROYAL (shrugs) I had a good run.36. and I love you more than anything. ROYAL
RICHIE What’ve you got? ROYAL I’ve got a pretty bad case of cancer. Chas laughs quietly. Will you give me a chance?
. I’ve got six weeks to set things right with you. ROYAL So they tell me. Now. Dad. and I aim to do it. ROYAL (CONT’D) Let me finish. ROYAL (CONT’D) But let me get to the point here. A month? ROYAL CHAS A year? Chas does not look up
ROYAL About six weeks.
I can’t say.
Richie looks to Chas. MARGOT He looks back to Royal.
ROYAL Do you speak for everyone? CHAS I speak for myself. Thanks. you’ve made your views known. so I didn’t know you’d be interested. we
. too. I suppose.37. really. But the first thing I’d like to do is take you to see your grandmother.
ROYAL Oh. Anyway. too. CONTINUED: (2) CHAS
No. So why don’t you let somebody else do some of the talking now? MARGOT What do you propose to do? ROYAL Well. you’re invited this time.
Well. sweetie. That’s right. MARGOT I haven’t been there at all. she wasn’t your real grandmother. RICHIE (pause) I haven’t been out there since I was six. at some point. ROYAL Well. ROYAL (pause) CHAS
My wife. Make up for lost time. Rachael’s buried there.
RICHIE You know. never invited. I was
ROYAL Well. isn’t it? can swing by her grave.
Chas? Chas stops. Chas walks away up the stairs. Royal looks to be on the
. ROYAL (CONT’D) Don’t give me that guff. as if something has been removed.
ROYAL (CONT’D) May I see my grandsons? Why? CHAS
ROYAL Because I’d like to finally meet them. ROYAL
He looks down to Royal. Margot waves. children. ROYAL Where’s my javelina? NIGHT. Richie hugs Royal. my sweet boy. verge of tears. Chas scoffs at the idea and shakes his head. There is a clean square and a hook on the wall in the stairwell. Royal says to Margot and Richie: ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll be right back. LIVING ROOM. He yells toward the kitchen: Pagoda! INT. Chas slaps it away and goes out of the room. ROYAL I’ll say goodnight to you now. Royal extends his hand as Chas walks by.38. CONTINUED: (3) Chas slams the atlas shut and puts it back into the bookcase.
Royal stands in the living room with Richie and Margot. Royal frowns. STAIRWAY. ROYAL (CONT’D) Thank you. CHAS I think we’ll pass. INT. EVENING.
Chas is already half-way to the second floor as Royal appears at the bottom of the steps. He walks toward the door.
please. Royal clamps his hand on Pagoda’s arm and lets out a slow whistle.39.
Royal and Pagoda stand outside the top of the front steps. ROYAL (CONT’D) Look at that old grizzly bear. Henry leaves the door to the taxi open. Henry Hold He bounds
Royal puts out his hand for Henry to give him five. man. They each carry a playbill for a play called That Rascal. TENENBAUM HOUSE.
Margot and Eli walk together down a street with trash everywhere and abandoned cars and broken windows. sir. ETHELINE Royal. Ethel! Good evening. reluctantly slaps hands with Royal and says: HENRY How do you do? ROYAL (shrugs) Ah. ETHELINE Don’t pay any attention to that man. EXT. Royal licks his fingers and smooths back his hair. Royal says quickly: ROYAL I’ll contact you in the next twelve hours and give you further instructions. ROYAL Lay it on me. DAY. (CONTINUED)
. Royal’s face darkens. driver. the cab. Goodnight all. A taxi stops in front of the house.
Royal gets into the taxi and closes the door. ROYAL I’m just kidding. Hey.
I’m dying. ROYAL (CONT’D) Hello. this is Henry Sherman. Henry and Etheline get out of the taxi.
EXT. STREET. down the steps.
NIGHT. Henry. what can I say? Henry looks uneasy. Pagoda nods.
ELI Yeah.40. They stop in front of a partially demolished building. I can’t tell. Me. Margot nods.
ELI (CONT’D) You don’t give a shit. Eli? (CONTINUED)
. They walk in silence for a minute. ELI That’s right. ELI (CONT’D) How’s Richie? MARGOT (pause) I don’t know. He says he’s in love with you. She seems distracted. He wrote me a letter. baby. Hey. it’s Eli. I don’t know how we’re supposed to take it. CONTINUED: ELI Right there is where I used to go get jacked off. VOICE Margot says blankly:
The door buzzes open. A voice comes on the call box: Hello? VOICE
MARGOT What are we doing. MARGOT (frowns) What are you talking about? ELI (shrugs) That’s what he said. MARGOT I’m listening. (points to a deli) Right there is where you used to go get jacked off. Hang on. Eli presses the buzzer to one of the apartments. either.
She has on sunglasses and boots. ARCHAEOLOGICAL EXCAVATION. He picks up a pebble off the ground and looks at it. Henry appears in the background. climbing down a ladder on the far side of the pit. She
A large network of pits between two brownstone townhouses. Eli goes inside. About Richie. looks up at the destroyed building. and shaking dirt through metal hand-screens. Don’t repeat that. (CONTINUED)
. Etheline says to the three archaeologists: ETHELINE (CONT’D) These were probably slaves. Before the arrival of the -GRADUATE STUDENT What are you doing? A graduate student with a shovel is looking at Henry and frowning. surveying. put that artifact back where you found it. He wears a gray wool suit and tie. sketching. EXT. Henry looks embarrassed. Etheline and the three archaeologists turn around and see them. DAY. ETHELINE Good. by the way. ground. GRADUATE STUDENT (CONT’D) Please. The three archaeologists are all scruffy young men with beards.41. HENRY I’m sorry to interrupt your work. Now I’ll just remove the loose soil and note the decomposition levels. ETHELINE Don’t be silly. The archaeologists crouch around Etheline while she compares a bit of soil on the end of a trowel with a color chart in a handbook. CONTINUED: (2) ELI I just got to pick something up. Etheline dusts off a partially unearthed skeleton. Margot stands alone on the street. There are workers digging. He puts the pebble back on the CUT TO: Etheline and Henry walking through a trench together. She is dressed entirely in denim except for a scarf over her hair. It was told in confidence. sir.
42. CONTINUED: HENRY I just wanted to apologize for the other day. When I proposed to you. Why? ETHELINE I thought it was very sweet.
HENRY Look. I know I’m not as accomplished as some of the men you’ve been involved with. Franklin Benedict and General Cartwright and your ex-husband and -ETHELINE That’s ridiculous. HENRY But I feel I have just as much to offer as any of them. I know I went about it backwards, but -ETHELINE Henry, I have no interest in Frank Benedict or Doug Cartwright. I never did. Henry falls into a pit and disappears from view. does not notice this and continues walking. ETHELINE (CONT’D) And as far as Royal is concerned, he’s the most -Etheline stops. She looks around. She sees Henry climbing up a ladder, out of the pit. He is covered with dirt and has a small twig in his hair. She rushes over to him. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Are you all right? Henry sighs. He brushes some dirt off his jacket. Etheline
HENRY I’m fine. Anyway, let me know when you make up your mind. Henry starts to walk away. Etheline grabs his sleeve.
ETHELINE Wait a second, Henry. Henry stops. He looks to Etheline. kisses it. He looks surprised. I’m sorry. She takes his hand and
ETHELINE (CONT’D) I’m very nervous. (CONTINUED)
43. CONTINUED: (2) Etheline pulls the twig out of Henry’s hair. That’s OK. HENRY Thank you. Why are you --
ETHELINE To tell you the truth, I haven’t slept with a man in eighteen years. Silence. Henry nods. He puts his hand on Etheline’s cheek. DAY.
INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM.
Margot lies in her bed behind a mosquito net watching a downhill skiing competition on her portable television. Etheline stands in the doorway and says calmly: ETHELINE I think I’m falling for Henry. Margot looks to Etheline. netting. MARGOT That’s amazing. ETHELINE What do you think of him? MARGOT (excited) I think he’s gorgeous. ETHELINE I’ll tell you a secret. marry him. He asked me to She pulls open the mosquito
MARGOT (dreamily) I’m going to have a father. ETHELINE (hesitates) Well, I haven’t accepted yet. Besides, you already have a father, sweetheart. MARGOT Not really. Plus, now he’s dying. CUT TO: The hallway outside Margot’s room. dark, watching from the stairs. Pagoda is poised in the
EXT. 375TH STREET Y ROOFTOP.
A rooftop park with a chain-link fence around it. There are several fighters lifting weights and jumping rope. Ari does chin-ups from a jungle gym. Uzi does sit-ups on a mat. Buckley lays on the cement beside them. Someone whistles from behind the fence. Ari and Uzi look. It is Royal. He is inside a telephone booth with the door partly open, holding the receiver to his ear. He signals for Ari and Uzi to come over. Ari frowns. He looks across the courtyard to Anwar, sitting on a bench, reading a BMW owner’s manual. Royal ducks back into the telephone booth and holds the receiver to his ear. Anwar does not look up. Ari slides down a fire-station-type pole. He and Uzi cautiously go over to the fence with Buckley. Royal hangs up the receiver and comes out of the telephone booth. ROYAL That’s a hell of an old hound dog you got there. What’s he go by? Buckley. ARI
ROYAL (pointing at Buckley) Buckley. Sit. Buckley sits. Royal looks impressed. He turns to Ari.
ROYAL (CONT’D) You know who I am? Ari shakes his head. I’m Royal. ROYAL (CONT’D) You heard of me? His expression becomes
Ari nods. Royal looks pleased. serious again.
ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman. ARI (pause) Thank you. ROYAL Which one are you?
ROYAL I’m sorry we haven’t gotten to know each other. (pause) Here’s what you tell him. He stares off into space. Tell him you want to meet me. Hello. ARI
ROYAL You think so? How often’s he got you working out? ARI Sixteen times a week. CONTINUED: ARI
Ari. but we’re going to have to pull some strings to make that happen. Royal sighs. ROYAL (CONT’D) Look..45. I’m your granddad. UZI But we just met. I guess. ROYAL (CONT’D) How’s your daddy? Fine. I want us to have a relationship.
ROYAL (CONT’D) Kind of a fuck-you to the old man. I don’t get invited around much. ROYAL No. by the way? You don’t have to say anything. we didn’t.. Royal looks back to Ari and Uzi.
ROYAL (looks to Uzi) Uzi. What do you think about that. Ari and Uzi look confused. ROYAL (shakes his head) Do me a favor.
Royal takes half of the white flowers off his mother’s grave and hands them to Chas. ROYAL (CONT’D) What do you think of this big old black buck moving in up there? RICHIE (pause)
ROYAL Henry Sherman. CHAS’ BEDROOM. Chas walks away.
ROYAL Oh. Excuse me. Chas wears his red one.
INT. He says to O’Reilly Tenenbaum Earth. Ari and Uzi stand together dressed in black Adidas warm-ups. Chas:
ROYAL She was a tough old broad.” Royal foot of the grave. and the city is across the river. Ari and Uzi are both dressed in black Adidas warm-ups. Royal’s mother’s gravestone reads “Helen (1909-1962). Hang on. DAY.
A small cemetery next to an electrical power plant.46. that’s right. EXT. CEMETERY. wasn’t she? CHAS I wouldn’t know. Silence. Take some of these. Royal and Richie stand beside them. Chas.
Ari and Uzi sit across from Chas. He sighs. The trees are bare. You know him? Yeah. Silence. ARI I bet Mom would’ve wanted us to meet him before he died. A technician tinkers with a large Xerox machine on the other side of the room. RICHIE
ROYAL Is he worth a damn? (CONTINUED)
. wouldn’t she? Chas turns his chair around and looks to Ari and Uzi. Another technician rolls in a crate on a dolly. We got another body buried out here.” Epitaph: “The Salt of the places a bouquet of white flowers at the There are tears in his eyes. He is behind his desk with his back turned to them.
Uzi and Margot standing in front of Rachael’s gravestone. and black nail polish. Margot’s hair is dyed black. Shh. Royal nods. CUT TO: (CONTINUED)
. CONTINUED: RICHIE I believe so. And I went to find my real family when I was fourteen. I’ll tell you. There are a mother and father and five very young children. UZI What happened to your finger? Ari looks quickly to Uzi. Margot looks to the father as if he is an idiot. FATHER Now just set one of them hickory trunks right up on top there. The father stares at Margot’s bloody hand. EXT. CUT TO: Ari.” Uzi stares at Margot’s missing finger.
A fourteen-year-old Margot stands behind a barn with a family of blond farmers.
MARGOT (CONT’D) Well. Margot sets a log sideways on top of a wood pile.47. sister Maggie. DAY. Everyone looks stunned. black eyeliner. which reads “Rachael Evans Tenenbaum (19652000). I am. ARI
MARGOT It’s OK.
I’m adopted. and she wears a black LaCoste dress. UZI How’d it get chopped off by -Uzi. Did you know that? Uzi shakes his head. FARM. MARGOT It got chopped off by an axe. She reaches to adjust the log slightly just as the father swings an axe and chops the log in half. They live in Indiana.
ARI Did you try to sew it back on? MARGOT (shakes her head) Couldn’t find it. Financially and personally. isn’t it? What? RICHIE
ROYAL You probably had another good two to three years of competitive play in you. Richie nods. Father of Nine Children. CUT TO: Richie and Royal looking at an impressive monument in the middle of the cemetery. Dad. Ari and Uzi standing together. ROYAL I had a lot riding on that match. CONTINUED: Margot. Silence. Baumer? RICHIE (pause) I don’t know. CUT TO: Royal and Richie walking together among the gravestones. INSERT: (CONTINUED)
. RICHIE (shrugs) Probably.” ROYAL That’s a hell of a damn grave. you know. Richie nods. Royal says wistfully:
ROYAL (CONT’D) I wish it were mine.
ROYAL (CONT’D) Why’d you choke out there that day. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s a shame. An inscription says: “Veteran of Two Wars.48. Drowned in the Caspian Sea.
He shakes his head and talks to himself. and Richie attempts to play it by throwing his racket at the ball. I think he’s crying. CUT TO: Royal and Richie standing together. Jim.actually. barely tossing the ball into the air. There’s obviously something wrong with him.49. Ari and Uzi. Richie serves suddenly. He hesitates.O. ANNOUNCER (V. and her new husband. TEX HAYWARD (V. Raleigh St. holding hands. Royal stands up and walks towards the exit. He looks into the stands. Richie stares at Margot and Raleigh. Jim.) That’s his sister. with Rachael. Gandhi nails his return. He’s taken off his shoes and one of his socks. He looks to Royal in a lonely seat up in the nosebleed section.O. Richie hits his return directly off the court and deep into the stands. With a bizarre swing. He’s playing the worst tennis of his life. He looks to Chas.) That’s seventy-two unforced errors for Richie Tenenbaum.) Who’s he looking at in the friends’ box. Clair. and .) I don’t know. Richie is shown preparing to serve with tears all over his face. What’s he feeling right now. Gandhi serves. A title identifies him as Sanjay Gandhi. watch from their seats in a courtside box. Tex? Margot and Raleigh. Richie is playing an Indian player dressed all in white. It is briefly revealed that he is wearing no shoes and only one sock.O. ROYAL I kind of disappeared after that. underhand. ANNOUNCER (V. They look very concerned. They were just married yesterday. Tex Hayward? TEX HAYWARD (V. didn’t I?
.O. CONTINUED: (2) A television set tuned in to network coverage of a tennis match on grass courts. He looks to Etheline. Margot.
JUDGE’S CHAMBERS. CUT TO: Royal scraping some dirt off of Rachael’s gravestone with his foot. ROYAL You still got that little BB in your hand. typing. DAY. It moves slightly.50. dammit --
A lawyer in a robe sits behind his desk. A stenographer sits at a metal stand. but I understood. He kicks a pebble on the ground. He holds up his hand and shows Royal a little round bump between two knuckles. Now. Royal nods. And got me disbarred. Chas and Royal and two attorneys sit across from him. But I don’t hold it against you. your honor. Royal says quietly: ROYAL It was the object of the game. JUDGE And how was it possible for Mr. I know you’re not very good with disappointment.
ROYAL (CONT’D) Well. CHAS Why’d you shoot me? Silence.
Chas does not respond. CONTINUED: (3) RICHIE (shrugs) Yeah. Tenenbaum to withdraw these funds without your written authorization? ROYAL Objection. CHAS We were on the same team. Chassie? Chas looks to Royal. you sued me. Royal taps it with his finger. do I? INT. ROYAL Royal sighs. wasn’t it? No. Chas stands beside him.
Royal looks guilty. Chas turns and walks away.
UZI Were you in prison? ROYAL Kind of. so my father was the primary signatory on most of my accounts. Should we split? Yes. Uzi looks to Royal. Royal.51. sir. ARI
ROYAL Call me Mr. Chas’ attorney whispers something into his ear. The judge looks to Royal. object. ARI
Royal yells across the cemetery to Richie and Margot. Call me Pappy. (CONTINUED)
. Tenenbaum. ROYAL You think you could start forgiving me? CHAS Why should I? ROYAL Because you’re hurting me.
CHAS Because I started the corporation when I was a minor. CHAS (CONT’D) He also stole bonds out of my safety deposit box when I was fourteen. I got jacked by the IRS. OK. CONTINUED: ROYAL’S LAWYER This isn’t a courtroom. CUT TO: Royal and Chas surrounded with Ari and Uzi. OK. ARI
ROYAL I’m kidding. Minimum security.
Margot picks up the pack of cigarettes and puts it back in her pocket. RICHIE How are you and Raleigh getting along? You think you’re going to get back together? MARGOT (pause) I don’t know. I heard about that letter you sent to Eli. OK? I like Raleigh very much. and you’re having some problems. RICHIE Well. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL Let’s shag ass! CUT TO: Margot and Richie walking toward the cemetery gates. RICHIE You dropped some cigarettes. Richie starts to say something. but -. RICHIE Well. He hesitates. if you need someone to talk to.Anyway. Silence. maybe I can help. They stop walking and look at it.
A maintenance man with a shovel in his hand yells from across the cemetery: MAINTENANCE MAN Hey. MARGOT Thanks.52. Baumer! All right! Richie smiles and waves to the maintenance man. OK. MARGOT By the way. let me know. I know he’s a lot older than you are.
. they just fell out of your pocket. A pack of cigarettes falls out of Margot’s pocket on to the ground. MARGOT Those aren’t mine.
Sabrina does not look up. STUDIO. Look at you.
DAY. I wonder? RICHIE Well. RICHIE Did you tell Margot about that letter I wrote you? ELI (hesitates) Why? Did she mention it? Richie does not respond. It is furnished like a house in the English countryside. RICHIE Eli. Richie stands on the top step. with antiques and potted flowers and old rugs.
Richie and Eli walk into the next room. that was meant to be just between you and me.53.
INT. Eli embraces Richie. ELI (CONT’D) Yes. Eli’s wife. They smile sadly at each other. ELI Oh. ELI (pause) Rightly so. my Lord. ELI I know. is painting in her studio. DAY. I did. She is barefoot. I would ask you the same question. He opens the front door. Classical music plays quietly on the record player. INT. ELI CASH’S TOWNHOUSE.
. Why would she have repeated that. Sabrina. Sabrina? ELI She seems irritated. I’m sorry.
Eli walks into the vestibule smoking a joint which he keeps in his mouth at all times like a cigarette. CUT TO: Richie and Eli walking into the front room of the house. She is very beautiful and wears spectacles and a white sari.
Charlotte is five. Hello. She is only mildly surprised. Cinnamon. Sabrina hugs and kisses Richie. teenaged girl standing on the table. frightening painting on the wall of five men wearing African masks and sitting on dirtbikes. ELI Stetson? Say hello to Uncle
There are two children in the corner. except where she wore a bikini. INT. There is a large. Richie looks disturbed. He notices a nude. ELI (CONT’D) That’s Cinnamon. They are both drinking wine. darling. DAY. There is a large zip-lock bag of marijuana on the table. molding a hunk of clay. She is painting a set of teacups.54. has an English accent. The children do not respond to Eli. She
SABRINA Hello. She has a cast in a sling on her arm. She has a deep tan. as he is in the process of relighting his joint. Stetson is six. Cinnamon looks at Eli coldly. ELI’S STUDY. Eli does not appear to notice this. He works at a spinning potter’s wheel. Cinnamon. They are both blond and fair. RICHIE How’d she break her arm? ELI (sadly) I fell down the stairs with her. Charlotte? Richie. CONTINUED: SABRINA
ELI Look what I found on the doorstep. Silence. Sabrina looks to Richie. She is Sabrina’s model.
Eli sits on a couch across from Richie. ELI What’d you say?
Yeah. (pause) She’s married. you know. for some reason. ELI When? Right now? (pause) I’m sorry. (barely audible) I’m on mescaline.
Very much so. RICHIE How often do you -ELI I’m worried about you.55. I’ve been spaced out all day. indeed. Margot is. RICHIE Did you say you’re on mescaline? ELI (nods) I did. INSERT: (CONTINUED)
. Don’t listen to me. RICHIE (pause)
ELI Well. But I did find it odd when you said you were in love with her. RICHIE
ELI And she’s your sister. Eli pours himself another glass of wine. Richie. actually.
Richie reflects on this for a minute. CONTINUED: RICHIE (pause) ELI
RICHIE I didn’t say anything. RICHIE (quickly) Adopted.
. There are also several dozen hanging garments on a rack with wheels on it. Dusty.
Royal comes into the lobby and freezes. MANAGER Hello. Dusty. Frederick? MANAGER
The manager looks to the bellboy. ROYAL Hello. MANAGER Would you like to --
ROYAL Where am I supposed to go? You’re turning me into a goddamn hobo. sir. INT. A large number of trunks. You’re taking my encyclopedias. I’m sorry. The manager and his assistant come over and watch Royal study his possessions. A bellboy rolls a fifth cart next to the others. DAY. The bellboy begins to roll one of the carts across the lobby. The manager walks away. ROYAL You son of a bitch. EXT. the elevator operator. LINDBERGH PALACE HOTEL. revolving doors. MANAGER I’d be happy to make a reservation for you at another hotel. LOBBY. DAY. This is humiliating. Royal goes in through It says “Chapter Five. Royal says suddenly: ROYAL Where’re my encyclopedias? MANAGER They’ve been placed in storage.56. ROYAL (shaking his head) Damn you. CONTINUED: (2) Page 112 of The Royal Tenenbaums. appears at Royal’s side.”
The side entrance of the hotel. suitcases and boxes are stacked and piled on four carts next to the front desk.
. CHAS Are you out of your mind? RICHIE (sincerely) No. DINING ROOM. Henry. Lonelier than he lets on. MANAGER DAY. Chas. Richie.57.
You poor. RICHIE And he agreed that --
CHAS I’m sorry. Margot. ROYAL It’s your dad.
Royal places a call from the lobby. and maybe lonelier than he even realizes. NIGHT. Anyway. poppa’s boy. RICHIE I think he’s very lonely. Ari and Uzi sit at the table eating dessert. washed-up
Henry puts his hand gently on Chas’ arm. I think he’d be much more comfortable here than -CHAS Who gives a shit? I do.
Etheline. ETHELINE Have you spoken to him about this? Briefly. will you? Of course. Maybe I’m a little confused. I’m not. RICHIE
CHAS You poor sucker. TELEPHONE BOOTH. What are you suggesting? RICHIE That he come here and stay in my room.
INT. Richie? INT. CONTINUED: ROYAL Spot me a quarter.
RICHIE Oh. CHAS Don’t get in the middle of this. Dad. Sherman.
All right. CONTINUED: HENRY Let’s not get out of hand. UZI You want to borrow our electric -Uzi. Mr.
Chas jerks his arm away.58. Mr. HENRY Please. ARI (to Richie) Where are you going to sleep? RICHIE I’ll just camp out upstairs. CHAS I prefer Mr. Who? UZI Pappy?
We like him. This is a family matter. UZI We brought an extra sleeping bag you can use. Sherman.
ETHELINE You’ve known him for ten years. yes. CHAS As your accountant. ETHELINE Call him Henry. I’ve got an old Scout cot and a couple of army blankets. that’s OK. call me Henry. Sherman. Why? CHAS I don’t know him that well. CHAS
ARI We don’t mind. MARGOT Don’t talk to him like that.
All right. Dad? RICHIE (CONTINUED)
. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. if Mom says it’s OK. There are several monitors and machines breathing and humming. ROYAL (CONT’D) Let’s see.59. Royal struggles to his feet. He produces a wooden spoon. RICHIE Well. CONTINUED: (2) Chas looks shocked and then revolted. now. ETHELINE Nor is it yours. NIGHT. Richie? Richie hands Royal his cane. Get out. He staggers a step. Royal lies on an electric hospital bed. He rolls the IV stand beside him. There are numerous bottles of pills and medicines on the night stand. goddammit. INT. Pagoda has on a surgical mask and scrubs. But I guess you can wake him up and throw him out. things. because of the medication he’s on. which he takes between his teeth.
ROYAL (CONT’D) Would you mind handing me my cane. Chas stands in the doorway. CHAS It’s not your decision. He collapses on to the floor. surgical scrubs. RICHIE (CONT’D) I think he’s asleep. He has an IV in his arm and a tube in his nose.
Richie’s room has been converted into a makeshift hospital room. He grips the back of a chair and looks to Richie with a surprised expression. Where’s my suitcase? Royal’s knee gives out. Silence. CHAS ROYAL Let me just collect my He is dressed in pink Richie is behind him. he’s already up there.
Royal sits up on the edge of the bed.
Richie yells out the door: Mom! RICHIE (CONT’D)
ROYAL Grab me a Nembutal. Chas frowns. I recommend that you push fluids and continue the stomach cancer medication. The attack was just a side-effect. CONTINUED: Richie and Pagoda rush over and kneel on the floor beside Royal.
. DUSTY His condition is stable. Dusty’s beeper goes off. HALLWAY. He is being examined by Dusty. my goodness! Pagoda. son. CHAS Are you OK? Royal takes the spoon out of his mouth. NIGHT. INSERT: Dusty’s beeper has a digital message on it: “Smitty worked a double yesterday. ROYAL Fuck do you care? Richie gives Royal a pill with a glass of water. Richie runs to the night stand and pops open a bottle of pills. the elevator operator from the Lindbergh Palace. Can you sub for him tonight?” CUT TO: (CONTINUED) He looks at it. INT. CUT TO: Forty-five minutes later. Royal is back in bed. Chas looks down at Royal. ROYAL Call Dr. Dusty is dressed in a white lab coat and elevatoroperator pants with a red stripe down the side. ETHELINE Oh. Etheline
Dusty speaks with the Tenenbaums in the hallway outside Richie’s bedroom. McClure.60. He checks Royal’s pulse while everyone watches. comes to the door.
Etheline nods. NIGHT. I have another call to make. Do you believe that? ETHELINE Not really. Now. ETHELINE
ROYAL I never did stop loving you. OK? OK. RICHIE
DUSTY (solemnly) Then that’s the best we’ve got. INT. Royal a small brown paper sack. Pagoda comes in and hands
Etheline sits next to Royal’s bed. by the way. CHAS For how long? DUSTY We’ll have to wait and see. if you’ll excuse me. Is he a fighter? Yeah. RICHIE Is he going to be all right? DUSTY That depends. CONTINUED: Dusty pushing a button on his beeper. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. including my epitaph.
ROYAL Pagoda is in possession of a parcel that contains my will and some instructions regarding the funeral. for when the time comes.61. CHAS Can we move him? DUSTY Absolutely not. ROYAL (CONT’D) Proof-read it for me before they carve it on the headstone.
there is a yellow nylon pupis dark except for a lamp glowing inside the
That dress is
ROYAL I’m in the middle of a sentence. Royal lies in bed. CONTINUED: ROYAL You look terrific. Chas hesitates. stunning. ROYAL I was going to read for a little bit. Royal says in a quiet. Etheline shakes her head and goes out of the room. Lights out. A dalmation mouse eats some crumbs off the floor. NIGHT. There are chairs sheets over them lined up along the walls. CHAS Have to finish it up in the morning. BALLROOM. INT. the top floor of the house. reading a spy novel. The ballroom on and tables with Near the center tent. Sorry. Chas. CHAS 11:30. CUT TO: An hour later. Henry is standing in the doorway. of the room. He unwraps it and takes a bite. Chas turns out the light. m’boy. Them’s the rules. ETHELINE (pause) Thanks. Royal opens the paper sack and withdraws a cheeseburger wrapped in aluminum foil. CHAS Lights out.62. Chas appears in the doorway. strangely upbeat voice in the darkness: ROYAL Goodnight. The room tent. Silence. Royal raises an eyebrow. He hesitates. drinking a milkshake. old man. He closes the door. He walks away.
RICHIE I don’t want to hurt you. You’re my brother.
INT. Eli is climbing out a window on the second floor. it’s not worth it. CHAS (gritting his teeth) Stop saying that. I love you.
NIGHT. (pause) You really hate me. too. He frowns. Pagoda sits next to him drinking a cup of coffee.
There is a Boy Scout sleeping bag on an air mattress on a cot inside the tent. I don’t. There is a photograph of the Tenenbaum family taped to the nylon wall. TENT. Richie lies on the cot reading Three Plays by Margot Tenenbaum.
CHAS Looks like you and Dad are back together again. Chas looks disturbed by this. he’s not. huh? RICHIE (pause) He’s your dad. He looks down at the street. whatever it is. Chas comes into the tent. DAY. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. CHAS Well. Chas. Richie looks up.
The next morning. I know what you and the boys have been through. and I love you. CHAS No. But believe me. Chas. Royal sits on the window sill smoking a cigarette. ROYAL What’s that jackass doing here?
. startled. EXT. There is a small table with a stack of books and some of Richie’s Matchbox cars and tennis trophies on it.63. I don’t know what you think you’re going to get out of this. Royal throws his cigarette out the window. don’t you? RICHIE (puzzled) No.
EXT. asshole! Eli hesitates. Royal yells: ROYAL (CONT’D) I know you. A note stapled to the top says: “Dear Mrs. He runs away. Margot is reading Henry’s book. There is a rap on the glass.
RALEIGH How long do you intend to stay here? MARGOT I don’t know.64. CONTINUED: Pagoda looks down at Eli. Just in case you missed it. GARDEN. MARGOT (frowns) That’s ridiculous. INSERT: An article on Eli in the Sunday magazine section.” There is a photograph of Eli in the desert holding a dead rattlesnake by the tail in each hand. He sees Royal’s cigarette burning on the ground. Tenenbaum. Their eyes meet. He steps on it. Margot and Etheline look up. He looks miserable. DAY. The headline says “Where the Wild Things Are. Accounting for Everything. drinking tea. He used to send me his grades in college. He’s done it for years. The backyard. Raleigh is standing in the window. Love. (CONTINUED)
. He looks up to Royal. MARGOT Did Eli send you that? ETHELINE (nods) He always sends me his clippings. Margot looks at it. MARGOT (incredulous) What for? ETHELINE I think he just likes the encouragement. Eli drops to the sidewalk. Margot and Raleigh sit at a metal table He smiles defiantly. Eli. Etheline is reading the article on Eli.” CUT TO: Margot and Etheline sitting together in Etheline’s study.
ROYAL I’ve met him. MARGOT But --
RALEIGH I want to die. Raleigh stands up and walks away. Silence. Margot puts her hand on his back. And I don’t think he deserves -MARGOT Stay out of it.65. No. ROYAL I don’t like the way you’re treating Raleigh. at the top of the stairs. For God’s sake. Raleigh crumples into a ball on the ground and stays there. He knocks on the railing. She looks up at him. please. Royal steps on to the landing
. HALLWAY. MARGOT What are you talking about? even know him. Raleigh sits up suddenly. MARGOT Raleigh. But -RALEIGH You’re joking. INT. RALEIGH Have you met someone else? MARGOT (pause) I couldn’t begin to even think about knowing how to answer that question. Margot walks toward her room. DAY. CONTINUED: RALEIGH Are you ever coming home? MARGOT (pause) Maybe not.
Royal watches down the stairwell as Margot comes up.
RALEIGH I believe she’s having an affair. dammit. and perhaps you understand her better than anyone else. Margot turns to Royal. Will you advise me? RICHIE I don’t know. CONTINUED: ROYAL You’re two-timing him with that bloodsucker Eli Cash. DAY. Margot stops. She says in a quiet voice: MARGOT No. EXT.66. Raleigh.
ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s not right. may I confide in you? RICHIE (pause)
Raleigh stands at the edge of the roof looking down to the ground while Richie cleans the empty falcon’s coop. RALEIGH Richard. I know you’re terribly close to Margot. that’s what they used to say. She stands still with her back to Royal. I don’t know where else to turn. I didn’t. They look at each other for a long minute. Silence. Margot goes into her room and closes the door. anyway. What do you want to do?
. RICHIE I doubt it. Richie comes out of the coop and goes over to RALEIGH (CONT’D) I’m utterly devastated. ROYAL (hesitates) Well. RALEIGH Nevertheless. ROOF. You used to be a genius.
INT. ETHELINE’S STUDY. He kicks it. Ari and Uzi sit working with a calculator and a ledger pad at a small desk in the corner. I thought. He stares at Richie’s bloody hand. DAY. the Xerox machine and a television and VCR on a cart. Three secretaries make copies and take messages. no. Chas covers the receiver with his hand. You got them crunching numbers for you. RICHIE Who do you think it might be? RALEIGH (hesitates) I don’t know. A messenger waits for him to sign a document. CHAS’ BEDROOM.
Etheline sits at her desk writing numbers on little bits of pottery and recording it in a notebook. huh? CHAS Please. INT. at the moment. Royal says to them: ROYAL Let’s go down to Little Tokyo and get some firecrackers. four telephones. Raleigh looks shocked.
Royal comes down the hallway and looks in the doorway to Chas’ room. perhaps -RICHIE Find the guy and get him? RALEIGH (pause) Well.
. His IV bag hangs on a rolling stand beside him. DAY. Chas is on the telephone. don’t come in this room. There are five computers. CHAS What do you need? ROYAL (hesitates) Nothing. CONTINUED: RALEIGH Well. I thought we might -Richie punches his hand through the attic window. looking in the window. Royal stands in the garden.67.
Royal. Ari and Uzi jump off a high scaffold into the indoor pool at the 375th Street Y. INT.O. Ari and Uzi ride horses in the park. DAY. Royal pushes a button to talk. Ari and Uzi laugh continuously throughout the following montage. you don’t. ETHELINE He has his reasons.68. You got to brew some recklessness into them. ROYAL I’m not talking about dance lessons.O. ROYAL (pause) No. ROYAL I know it. Ethel.) What do you mean? MONTAGE: (Royal.
Royal listens to Ari over the intercom while Pagoda does yoga exercises in the corner: ARI (V. Royal leads them at a full gallop down a ravine and over a stone wall. Ari and Uzi race go-carts up and down loading ramps and in between fork-lifts in a large warehouse. Silence. Ari and Uzi jaywalk through heavy traffic. But you can’t raise boys to be scared of life. (CONTINUED)
.) We take boxing and self-defense class. CONTINUED: ROYAL Chassie’s got those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits. RICHIE’S BEDROOM.) Royal. I’m talking about taking it out and chopping it up. Royal. Ari says over the intercom: ARI (V. Royal. I’m talking about putting a brick through the other guy’s windshield. ETHELINE I think that’s terrible advice.
Chas hangs up the telephone. DAY. ARI Who stabbed you? Royal motions to Pagoda again.
. Ari and Uzi hide cartons of chocolate milk under their jackets and walk quickly out the door of a bodega. There was a price on my head. Royal. Ari and Uzi throw water balloons at a gypsy cab. Ari and Uzi walking by the hallway. How’s
ROYAL Just stepped out to get some air. CHAS Where’ve you been? Chas goes to the doorway. INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM. ROYAL He did. DAY. He sees Royal. the -CHAS (concerned) What’s that?
Chas points to a spot of dried blood on Uzi’s forehead. Holy shit. ROYAL That’s not -. I was knifed at a bazaar in Calcutta. Thirty years ago. and he carried me to the hospital on his back. Royal. No.69.
The three secretaries are still at work. you know. STREET. ROYAL (CONT’D) That’s dog’s blood. and he was a hired assassin.What is that?
Royal licks his finger and rubs away the blood. Ari and Uzi ride on the back of a speeding garbage truck. and Chas is on the telephone. CONTINUED: Royal. Uzi and Royal.
ROYAL (indicating Pagoda) He saved my life. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv. He glares at Ari. EXT.
I haven’t been in here in years.
. EXT. ROYAL (CONT’D) There you are. CHAS Stay away from my children. And I think you’re having a nervous breakdown. Chas grabs Royal by the arm and pulls him into the closet across the hall. There are hundreds of board games. covered with dust. Royal
Royal and Etheline walk along a path through the park. CONTINUED: Chas frowns. Royal stands alone in the dark. and closes the door. INT. DAY. PARK. most of which are about thirty years old. CHAS (screams) Are you listening to me? ROYAL Yes. The stuffed boar’s head is under the bottom shelf.70. by the way. Scrapping and yelling. CLOSET. I am. He looks to Royal. Mixing it up. goes out of the closet. rolls his hanging IV bag at his side. He switches the light back on and looks down at the floor. DAY. in the corner. Royal hesitates. (sincerely) I’d like to thank you for raising our children. I think -Chas turns off the light. I don’t believe you’ve recovered from Rachael’s death.
Chas closes the door and turns on the light. Loving every minute with this damn crew. He smiles. ETHELINE How are you feeling? ROYAL Oh. I’m having a ball. understand? Do you
ROYAL (looking around) My God. in shelves up to the ceiling.
and fire. Or. though. You’ve got more grit.
ROYAL No. They look at each other for a long minute. and if -Etheline laughs. then why didn’t you give a damn about us. tell me. and guts than any bob-tailed fox I ever damn hunted. ROYAL (CONT’D) What’s so funny? ETHELINE
Nothing. it’s nobody’s fault. didn’t you? ETHELINE I tried to. Royal? Why didn’t you care? ROYAL I don’t know.
. it doesn’t -ETHELINE Well. but I’m ashamed of myself. But I’ll take it as a compliment. ETHELINE Nothing. Just these little expressions of yours. (pause) Plus.71. Lately. ROYAL (CONT’D) You always put them first.
ROYAL I’m not kidding. anyway. I feel like maybe I didn’t do such a great job. ROYAL (pause) I don’t know what you’re talking about. don’t do that to yourself. I’m the one who failed them. I’ll tell you one thing. ROYAL Goddammit. Etheline shrugs. What? Royal smiles. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause)
72. EVENING. INSERT: Page 147 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Henry frowns. Etheline stops at the bottom of the steps. Henry watches her. He listens as Royal says: ROYAL (CONT’D) How’s your love life? ETHELINE None of your business. (pause) Actually. The ends of a pair of theatre tickets stick out of his breast pocket. Silence. But I don’t. Pagoda watches Henry. Ethel. watching from behind a stone wall above the path. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL (CONT’D) You’re true blue.
Etheline and Henry come down the front steps of the Tenenbaum house. if you don’t mind. He looks sad and stunned. Henry is dressed in black tie. I’d agree if I thought he was really going to die in six weeks. Pagoda holds a gypsy cab for them at the curb.
. EXT. CUT TO: Henry with two bags of groceries in his arms. Etheline turns around and goes back up the steps. I don’t believe I’m going to join you tonight. It says “Chapter Six. HENRY I’d like you to talk to Royal about us. I’ll call you in the morning. HENRY Well. Henry. ETHELINE (hesitates) I don’t think the timing’s right for that. You really are. Etheline goes inside and closes the door. I hope you’re right. SIDEWALK.
HENRY (long pause) Coltrane? What? ROYAL
HENRY Did you just call me Coltrane? No. ROYAL Can I ask you something? HENRY (pause)
ROYAL (CONT’D) We got the sucker on the ropes.73. He has on reading glasses. Royal comes into the kitchen eating a cheeseburger. ROYAL
HENRY You didn’t? No. Royal has a half-eaten cheeseburger in his hand.
NIGHT. Henry looks at him blankly.
Royal and Pagoda stand together in the board-game-filled closet drinking Martinis and smoking cigarettes. Coltrane. KITCHEN. He whispers excitedly: ROYAL She said that? Pagoda nods.
The next morning. Royal sits on a stool. DAY.
ROYAL Are you trying to steal my woman? HENRY (pause) I beg your pardon? ROYAL You heard me. Henry stands at the counter reading the Wall Street Journal. ROYAL
. CLOSET. INT. Royal snaps his fingers.
Royal stands up. sit down. Henry waits for Royal to continue. goddammit! (CONTINUED)
. He screams:
ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll talk some jive like you never heard! HENRY (yelling) Oh. CONTINUED: HENRY (pause)
OK. ROYAL (CONT’D) You wouldn’t be able to do anything about it.
ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll talk some jive with you.
ROYAL But if I did? Silence. Royal. I don’t. HENRY (seething) Listen. If you think -ROYAL You want to talk some jive? Henry hesitates. He looks puzzled. yeah? Right on! Sit down! What? ROYAL HENRY ROYAL
Royal starts doing a little dance in front of Henry. would you? HENRY You don’t think so? ROYAL No.74. ROYAL (CONT’D) What’d you say? HENRY I said.
Henry reads the label on the bottle while he places a call. McClure. INT. DAY. He says
ROYAL (CONT’D) I want you out of my house. TELEPHONE ROOM. DAY. I heard you.
. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. The name of the patient is Royal Tenenbaum.
Henry goes into Richie’s room and takes a bottle of Royal’s pills off the night stand. He takes out a jar of peanut butter and a jar of grape jelly. At Colby General. Henry takes out a pill and examines it. INSERT: The pill. He goes back out of the room. STAIRWAY. I’m calling in regards to a Dr. INT. ROYAL Don’t play semantics with me. INT. DAY. HENRY This is not your house.
Henry goes up the stairs with a cold.75. ROYAL She stands in the doorway. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL Oh. Yes. darkly: Royal stops dancing. Etheline looks to Henry. determined look on his face. Henry walks out of the room. He has the bottle of pills in his hand.
Royal goes to the refrigerator and opens it. HENRY Hello. It has pink and blue sparkles all over it and the word “Tic-Tac” printed on the side. I want your raggedy ass back on the -ETHELINE What’s going on here? Henry and Royal look to Etheline. Henry jumps to his feet. Nothing.
They run under the radiator. Eli is his guest. you know. haven’t they? Eli nods sadly. PAGODA’S ROOM. He is Peter Bradley. I grew up with the Tenenbaum family. He stares at Pagoda. Richie comes into the room. ELI Well.
Bullshit. Margot and Royal are watching Eli on ROYAL Change it.76. MARGOT What’d you do to your hand? Nothing.
The door opens.
A small room with an Indian pattern on the wallpaper. Two dalmation mice dart out across the floor. distinguished-looking man in his fifties. Pagoda lies on a hammock listening to Indian music on a portable record player. RICHIE
Richie goes into the closet.
DAY. PETER Right. His hand is wrapped with bloody bandages. There is a knock on the door. CUT TO: Richie’s room. and then it opens. The host is a tall. Margot looks concerned. HENRY How much is he paying you? Pagoda looks scared. ROYAL You think we could get somebody to come over here and kill some of these mice for us?
. Henry stands in the doorway. INSERT: A television set tuned in to an interview show. They’ve come on hard times now. They sit at a round table lit at the center of a pitch-black room. Royal frowns.
PETER (looking around) What?
. much like the -Eli freezes.
Eli’s interview continues. Well. ETHELINE (O. Wildcattin’ was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular.S. Henry goes over to the
HENRY Etheline? Would you mind coming up here for a minute.77. ROYAL What’s cooking. tell him to stick them in a fucking cage or something. please? Royal looks at Henry suspiciously. anyway. Those belong to Chas.) (on the intercom)
OK. ROYAL Well. PETER Not a success. ELI (CONT’D)
Holy shit. Why?
ELI Hm. He looks quickly across the room. he invented them. Pops? HENRY You’ll see. CONTINUED: MARGOT No.
Richie drags a large trunk out of the closet. intercom and presses a button on it. Henry and Pagoda come into the room.
Or. your previous novel -ELI Wildcattin’.
PETER Now. Right. INSERT:
The television set.
Henry stares at Royal. MARGOT (worried) I’ll be right back. and walks off the set. HENRY (angrily) No. Everyone looks to Pagoda. Silence. Ari. he doesn’t. Uzi and Buckley follow them.
ROYAL Son of a bitch. PETER (CONT’D) Are you all right? ELI (concerned) Why is it so dense in here? Peter hesitates. I’ve seen it. (MORE) (CONTINUED)
. Etheline and Chas come into the room. Henry steps in front of the television set and turns it off. He braces himself against the edge of the table.78. HENRY (CONT’D) Pagoda has something to say. CONTINUED: (2) A look of sheer horror crosses Eli’s face. What the hell kind of way to act is that? RICHIE (pause) He’s on drugs. PAGODA He has the cancer.
HENRY (CONT’D) I know what stomach cancer looks like. Eli removes his microphone. Chas is eating a sandwich. Peter Bradley watches him go. please. Margot goes to the telephone. stands up. Pagoda looks worried. They look stunned. Peter looks concerned. Royal sits up. He turns to Royal and points at him. HENRY Hold on a minute. CUT TO: Everyone watching in Richie’s bedroom.
Etheline looks to Royal. He looks to Pagoda. CONTINUED: (3) HENRY (CONT’D) And you don’t eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you’ve got it. McClure at Colby General. Royal comes out of the bathroom. ROYAL I guess we’re back on the street. He picks up one of his bottles of pills off the night stand and leaves the rest.
ETHELINE Were you part of this? HENRY Of course he was. there’s no Colby General.
No more lies. Etheline looks to Pagoda. CHAS Yes. ROYAL How would you know? HENRY My wife had it. He goes into the bathroom and closes the door.
. Thank you. Royal pulls out his IV and the other tubes that are attached to him. The pain is excruciating. Pagoda looks uneasy. It closed in 1974. Chas hangs up. Chas crushes his sandwich in his hand. and he is zipping up a small leather bag. He places a call. man. He says
ROYAL Time to come clean. shit. He is fully dressed in a suit. He sits down on the bed and picks up the phone. Henry turns to Etheline. PAGODA Ah. She frowns. please. Can you send a taxi to 111 Archer Avenue? Right away. regretfully: Royal looks to Pagoda. pal.79. ETHELINE But why would he -Chas slams his hand against the bathroom door as hard as he can. Silence. HENRY (CONT’D) Not only is there no Dr.
I one. I do have high blood pressure. I did some malpractice work for him. He turns and stands in
ROYAL (CONT’D) know I’m the bad guy on this I just want to say that the days have been the best six probably. Royal swallows one of his pills.80.
. ETHELINE Why’d you do this to us. but last six days of. though. sad expression crosses Royal’s face.) Immediately after making this statement. Or. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What was the point? ROYAL (pause) I thought maybe I could win you back. NARRATOR (V. I thought I could get rid of Henry and keep things status quo.O. Etheline stands at the end of the hall. INT. Look. front of everyone. ETHELINE But we hadn’t spoken in seven years. CONTINUED: (4) Pagoda stares at Royal bitterly.
A strange. anyway. I was broke. Royal realized that it was true. HALLWAY. my whole life. Royal? Royal stops. Royal begins to gather his possessions. RICHIE How’d you get all these medical supplies? ROYAL (pause) A guy at St. DAY. and I got kicked out of my hotel.
Royal comes out of Richie’s room with his suitcases. Richie points at the hospital bed and life-support machines. Pete’s owed me a favor. ROYAL I know. Plus.
Richie shakes his head. STREET. don’t want this to happen to you. DAY. Richie. with tears in
ETHELINE (CONT’D) Goodbye. ROYAL (CONT’D) He’s not your father. (CONTINUED)
. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) You’re a bastard. MARGOT (pause) Neither are you. Royal nods. I
Royal walks past him and goes out the front
DAY. He turns away and goes up the steps. Royal points to Henry. Dad. door. He stares into space. in the front doorway. I feel like a different person. STAIRWELL. Margot closes the door. ROYAL Take it easy on those boys.
Richie and Royal stand on the sidewalk. into the house. Chas hesitates. this illness. Royal’s suitcases are beside him. Royal and Margot look at each other. I really do.81. Royal. past Margot and Henry. this closeness to death. Royal stops in front of him. Margot and Henry stand at the top of the steps. Etheline stares at him angrily. INT. A gypsy cab pulls over to the curb. ROYAL You know. Chassie. Royal puts his hands in his pockets.
Chas stands at the bottom of the stairs and watches Royal come down with his suitcases.
ROYAL (smiles) But I’m going to live. Royal waves to the driver. Royal turns and walks down the stairs. RICHIE You were never dying. her eyes. It’s been very profound for me. He begins to cry. EXT.
82. PAGODA You can’t blame them. ROYAL I know. pal? Pagoda drops his suitcases to the ground. Pagoda pours some iodine on a cotton ball and applies it to Royal’s knife wound. dammit. PAGODA You son of a bitch. He holds a bottle of iodine in one hand and a box of bandages in the other. Royal grimaces. A sign next to the It says “Chapter Seven. INSERT: Page 198 of The Royal Tenenbaums. I want to be loved by this family. ROYAL (CONT’D) How much money you got? (CONTINUED)
. Royal screams. He falls on the ground.
An extremely small room with a low ceiling and a single bed. DAY. The gypsy cab driver watches blankly. 375TH STREET Y. ROYAL Everyone’s against me.”
A huge building that looks like a castle. Royal leans on Pagoda as they get into the gypsy cab. ROYAL How you doing. Pagoda comes down the steps with two suitcases. door says “375th Street Y. ROYAL Goddammit! That’s the last time I get knifed by you! You hear me? Pagoda helps Royal to his feet.” INT. man. He collects his suitcases. He looks furious. please. Royal says to the driver: ROYAL (CONT’D) The 375th Street Y. Royal stands in front of a mirror while Pagoda stitches up the knife-wound in his side. EXT. He clutches his side. CONTINUED: The front door of the house opens. 375TH STREET Y. DAY. Pagoda’s teeth flash as he goes over to Royal and stabs him with a penknife. But.
Henry’s bedroom is filled with paintings and sculptures from the fifties and sixties. He puts on a slow jazz record and sits down across from Etheline at a small table with a vase of roses. She drinks her whole glass all at once. HENRY’S APARTMENT. He clinks his glass against hers and takes a small sip. two bottles of wine. please. HENRY Would you like another glass of wine? ETHELINE Yes. ROYAL (frowns) What do you mean? Pagoda nods. All right. and three candles on it.
. They look at each other fondly for a minute. CONTINUED: PAGODA I don’t have.
Royal looks furious. OK.
INT. The doors to the balcony are open.83.
ROYAL (CONT’D) We’ll figure something out. Henry looks uneasy. Etheline says suddenly: ETHELINE (CONT’D) Maybe we’re rushing things. Etheline wears a cream silk nightgown. How’re we supposed to pay for the damn room? Pagoda looks up at Royal coldly. We don’t have to do this right now. Henry has on pale-blue silk pajamas. Henry refills Etheline’s glass. It’s awkward sitting here in our pajamas and everything. and there is a gentle breeze. Henry. Let’s just try and have a nice time. NIGHT.
ROYAL (CONT’D) You got to be kidding me. ETHELINE
Henry gets up and changes the record to a more upbeat number. HENRY (relieved) You’re right. Silence.
either. and a crepe suzette on it. and there’s no need for us to force anything. what?
MARGOT OK. ELI Let’s not make this any more difficult than it already is. He looks disappointed. BRIDGE. I should go. His napkin catches on fire. and he dips it in his water glass. Let’s just ETHELINE Actually. He stops a few feet away from Margot. Henry sits alone. DAY. EXT. MARGOT I didn’t know you ever were. I think you’re right. two cheesecakes. MARGOT (pause) ELI
OK. a bowl of strawberries. His face is smeared with dirt and traces of paint. CONTINUED: HENRY Yes. ELI I’m not in love with you any more. Henry nods. at least. offer you some dessert? Henry points to a dessert cart with a lemon meringue pie.
A footbridge over the river. His clothes look severely dishevelled. a chocolate mousse. He gets up and turns off the record player. ETHELINE No.
HENRY Can I. Margot waits in the middle of the bridge.
OK. Henry quickly strikes a match and sets the crepe suzette on fire. He looks to Etheline. I should go. Eli walks towards her from the opposite bank. There’s no hurry. Etheline hesitates.
Etheline picks up her overnight bag off a chair and goes into the bathroom.
. I’m not in love with you. Silence.84. I think we’re both a little uneasy.
He is a detective.85. CONTINUED: ELI I know. PRIVATE DETECTIVE’S OFFICE. Silence. over and stands beside him. Richie looks over his shoulder. DAY. DETECTIVE How much do you already know. Richie and Dudley sit across a desk from the large man in the coat and tie. CUT TO: A second bridge. MARGOT Do you send my mother your clippings? Eli hesitates. Margot goes
A small room on the 30th floor of an office building. gentlemen? RALEIGH Very little. Eli turns away and looks sadly out at the river. DETECTIVE Would you like to examine the report? RALEIGH We would. Margot nods. MARGOT Your reviews aren’t that good. Raleigh. ELI But the sales are. The detective hands Raleigh a manila folder. I assure you. Which is sick and gross. two hundred yards away. stop ridiculing me. You’re in love with Richie. (CONTINUED)
. INT. A large man in a coat and tie takes photographs of Margot and Eli with a telephoto lens. Yes. rather. ELI (CONT’D) You never gave me the time of day until I started getting good reviews. MARGOT (CONT’D) And your grades in -ELI Please. He opens and begins to read.
leaning against the chimney. Yes.) Margot climbs out the window of a girls’ dormitory. DETECTIVE
. Silence. Margot sits in a make-up chair at a television studio. She wears a bra and a slip. She shimmies down the gutter and runs across the lawn. Peter Bradley comes up behind her and puts his hands down her shirt. A man dressed in a black shirt with a priest’s collar places a string of shells around Margot’s neck. Another man has a small machine gun. (In each of the following images. Margot smiles at him mischievously. CONTINUED: MONTAGE: Margot at age twelve buys a pack of cigarettes in a bodega. and the ocean glimmers outside. Margot stands in a pool of water facing a young tribesman in New Guinea. RALEIGH (CONT’D) She smokes. .Eli in a deserted subway train going full speed at night. There is a goat in the doorway.a tough-looking Irishman on the deck of a ferry. . and Margot runs her hands through the girl’s hair. He has on warpaint and wears a large tusk in his nose.a skinny guy with a Mohawk on a city bus. The girl puts her arms around Margot’s waist. . CUT TO: Raleigh turning to the last page of the report. Margot kisses him on the mouth. eating a croissant. Margot makes out with: . She carries a small suitcase. She smokes one on the roof of the house. Richie looks stunned. A topless girl appears next to her. She holds hands with one of them while he lights a large brown-paper-wrapped marijuana cigarette. Margot smokes a cigarette.86. Margot stands inside a torch-lit shack among a group of dancing Rastafarians in Jamaica. Margot opens a window and looks out at the Eifel Tower. He closes the folder and looks to Richie. next to the falcon’s coop.a Puerto Rican teenager in the back seat of a taxi.
RALEIGH His voice is muffled. He picks up the razor.
Raleigh lies face down on the couch with his head buried in the cushions. DAY. takes a deep breath. I get it. He pushes his hand back through his hair. Pagoda.
INT. The manager is reviewing a typewritten document. DAY. Dusty and the manager of the hotel sit at a table in the laundry room of the Lindbergh Palace. He says quietly: DUDLEY You want to play some word games or do some experiments on me or anything? Raleigh answers without moving. INT. He opens the medicine cabinet and takes out a can of shaving cream and a straight razor. ROYAL Put in a good word for us.
Royal. RALEIGH’S LABORATORY. He has clipped off his beard. He goes into the bathroom.
DAY. and says quietly: (CONTINUED)
. by the way? MANAGER I’ll inform you of my decision at the appropriate time. INT. Dudley walks over to him with a box of building blocks. He covers his face with the shaving cream.
Hot water runs full blast in the shower and the sink. Dusty. Richie stands in front of the mirror. No.
DUSTY I already did.87. MANAGER All right.
Richie walks by in a bathrobe. He carries a pair of scissors. BASEMENT. ROYAL I appreciate that. Which way are you leaning. Everything seems to be in order. He holds a pair of scissors in his hand. BATHROOM. He looks back in the mirror. closes the door. I’ll contact you in the next twenty-four hours. and locks it.
Everyone is gathered around Richie in his hospital bed. Margot bursts through the doors of the emergency room. MARGOT How do you feel?
. Dudley screams hysterically. Blood runs into the sink. She throws open the closet door and grabs her coat.88. MONTAGE: Three paramedics race down a corridor pushing Richie on a gurney. The floor is flooded with water and blood. Etheline nods. Chas. Ari and Uzi hold on as Anwar weaves the BMW in and out of traffic. His
INT. CUT TO: The bathroom door slamming open. MARGOT Where is he. HOSPITAL ROOM. leaves the room. She sees blood on him. Silence. She has tears all over her face. Richie is slumped in the corner with shaving cream all over his face. along his left forearm. Etheline hangs up the telephone and runs into the hallway. arms are covered with bandages. She sees Dudley. four times. Raleigh and Dudley run beside him. and then I’ll come back to check on him. He looks horrified. Margot holds Richie’s hand. CONTINUED: RICHIE I’m going to kill myself tomorrow. A doctor gives him an injection and says to Etheline: DOCTOR He’ll probably sleep for several hours. She rushes over and grabs his arms. He sits down on the floor. They are covered with blood. He switches hands with the razor and slashes his other wrist. She looks around frantically. Dudley bursts into the room. Dudley? DUDLEY (pause) DAY. Buckley has his head out the window. Richie slices the razor deeply.
WAITING AREA. CONTINUED: RICHIE Fine. CHAS Is it dark? RICHIE Of course it’s dark. Ari and Uzi sit on Chas’ lap. CHAS Can we read it? No.
The corridor outside Richie’s room. DAY. That’s enough. Right after I regained consciousness. Raleigh stares into space. It’s a suicide
ETHELINE All right. said to let him sleep. Margot sits next to Raleigh. INT. RICHIE I wrote a suicide note. thanks.89. You did? MARGOT
RICHIE Yeah. Etheline fills out some insurance forms. note. ETHELINE Are you in any pain? RICHIE Not really. Everyone looks slightly confused.
. CHAS Why’d you try to kill yourself? ETHELINE Don’t press him right now. RICHIE
CHAS Could you paraphrase it for us? RICHIE I don’t think so.
RALEIGH And you’ve nearly killed your poor brother. She gives one to Raleigh. MARGOT Silence. He puts it in his mouth. RALEIGH May I have a cigarette? What? MARGOT
RALEIGH Shall I repeat the question? MARGOT You don’t smoke. RALEIGH She’s balling Eli Cash. ETHELINE What’s he talking about? MARGOT It doesn’t matter. Margot sighs. ETHELINE Oh. RALEIGH (bitterly) I bloody well know that.
RALEIGH Many times over. Everyone looks surprised and extremely uncomfortable. CONTINUED: RALEIGH You’ve made a cuckold of me. Everyone looks at Raleigh and Margot. RALEIGH (CONT’D) And a light. I know. She reaches into her pocket and takes out a pack of cigarettes. Raleigh stares at Margot in silence. my goodness. (CONTINUED)
. I’m sorry. please? Margot takes out some matches and lights Raleigh’s cigarette.
He goes over to her. ETHELINE Well. I think you should quit. NIGHT.91. INT. He says earnestly: HENRY How can I help? Etheline begins to point to Henry’s necktie suspended near his ear. he unintentionally clamps them to his necktie and pulls his necktie up to his temple. Henry picks up his glasses and puts them back on. Etheline puts her arms around him. They are both dressed in hotel elevator-operator uniforms. NIGHT. out the door.
Royal speaks anxiously to a nurse at the registration desk. Margot nods.
Raleigh stands up and walks away. hurling his glasses off his face and on to the floor. ROYAL Richie Tenenbaum. Silence. HOSPITAL. Margot lights a cigarette for herself. please. but she hesitates. Pagoda stands behind him. She hugs him tightly and starts to cry. Henry Sherman comes in.
Three hours later. The door opens at the end of the hall. down the hall. ETHELINE How long have you been a smoker? MARGOT (pause) Twenty-two years. Etheline sees him and stands up. He starts to put on his glasses. He swats at the necktie. He looks to Etheline with an embarrassed expression. CONTINUED: (2) RALEIGH (CONT’D)
Thank you. Your name? NURSE
. Etheline looks disturbed. EXT. Royal and Pagoda get out and walk quickly into the building. A gypsy cab stops in front of the hospital. STREET. As he unfolds them. Henry senses something wrong in his peripheral vision and looks confused.
anyway. Richie gets on the bus. afternoon. ROYAL I think if we shimmy up that gutter and jump across the window ledge we can pry open the ventilation shaft and -PAGODA There he is. Royal calls out: Richie? ROYAL He sees their uniforms. (CONTINUED)
. Attempted suicide.
NURSE I’m afraid visiting hours are over. Royal and Pagoda watch it drive away. Royal looks puzzled. SIDEWALK.
NURSE I have to refer you to Dr. CONTINUED: ROYAL Royal Tenenbaum. He’ll be in tomorrow
Royal and Pagoda stand in front of the hospital.92. sir. Royal looks very upset. he didn’t look half bad for a suicide. He is dressed in surgical scrubs and bedroom slippers. The nurse looks down at her registration book. NIGHT. Pagoda points to Richie waiting at the bus stop on the corner.
Richie looks to Royal and Pagoda. ROYAL (CONT’D) Where’re you going?
Silence. His arms are covered with bandages. She looks back to Royal. ROYAL (hesitates) Why? What does it say there? don’t want me? I’m sorry. man. ROYAL (CONT’D) I have to say. Silence. She frowns. He sounds desperate. Burroughs. The doors open. EXT. A bus pulls over in front of Richie. He hesitates. Royal points to the edge of the roof.
NIGHT. Richie sits in the back row and rides downtown. (CONTINUED)
. with Margot slightly older. MARGOT Well. Richie walks in and sees the lamp glowing inside his tent. NIGHT. RICHIE I checked myself out. leans against the wall. Margot calls out from inside. She has a Rolling Stones record in her hand. He puts his arm around Royal’s shoulder. INT. She looks startled. BALLROOM. BUS. CONTINUED: Pagoda nods. Margot puts out her cigarette. Margot is sitting on the floor next to a record player smoking a cigarette. She seems worried.
MARGOT (CONT’D) I thought you were supposed to be in the hospital.
An old city busy with trash on the floor and graffiti spraypainted on the walls. INT. Hello? MARGOT (CONT’D)
Richie looks at the seventeen paintings of Margot hanging in the corner.
NIGHT. MARGOT Who’s there? Richie does not respond. RICHIE What are you doing in my tent? MARGOT (hesitates) Just listening to some records. TENT.93.
Richie looks into the tent. shouldn’t you be on some kind of suicide watch or something? RICHIE (pause) Probably. An unfinished eighteenth.
The ballroom on the top floor of the Tenenbaum house. INT. Richie goes to the tent at the center of the room.
It plays quietly.94. MARGOT (sighs) I know. Richie unwraps one of his bandages. we mostly just talked about you. Richie says quietly: RICHIE I have to tell you something.
RICHIE I heard about your ex-husband. That looks horrible. RICHIE (nods) And I heard about Eli. and he came out to me in a canoe. MARGOT How many stitches did you get? RICHIE I don’t know. Anyway. I didn’t get his name. I was swimming. I guess that was the attraction. (CONTINUED)
. RICHIE (surprised) You did? MARGOT Yeah. He wraps the bandage back around his arm. Margot looks stricken. Richie nods. crisscrossing stitches and dried blood. You want to see? Margot nods. His arm is covered with jagged. CONTINUED: Richie goes into the tent and sits down Indian-style in front of Margot. if you know what I mean. Richie. She puts on the Rolling Stones record. We were only married for nine days. MARGOT Yeah. Poor Eli. Silence. I met him in the ocean. Margot sighs. MARGOT Jesus. MARGOT (pause) Desmond? RICHIE (hesitates) I guess so.
sleeping bag. I went away for a year. CONTINUED: (2) MARGOT What’s that? RICHIE I love you. They listen to the music for a minute. She smooths back his hair. and it only got worse. Richie kisses Margot on the mouth. She kisses Richie’s hand. She puts her hands on the back of his head. Margot gets up and goes out of the tent. Richie. Richie looks worried. too. Margot nods. MARGOT I think we’re just going to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that. RICHIE I can’t stop thinking about you. isn’t it? Richie nods. MARGOT (CONT’D) Why’d you do it? Because of me? RICHIE Yeah. I don’t know what to do. Margot looks back into the tent. are you? RICHIE (pause) I doubt it. MARGOT (sadly) I love you. Margot sighs.95. Margot looks at his Boy Scout
MARGOT (CONT’D) This is the one we took to the museum. MARGOT You’re not going to do it again. (CONTINUED)
. Richie pulls away from her and looks into her eyes. She lies down next to Richie and puts her arm around his shoulder. and she kisses him back. Richie sits alone for a minute. She starts crying. MARGOT Let’s lie down for a minute. Richie lies down on the cot. but it’s not your fault.
Henry’s book and Eli’s book. INSERT: Page 230 of The Royal Tenenbaums. He carries the stuffed boar’s head. but we’ll get a bump when we join the union. standing in front of the elevator. elevator. (CONTINUED)
. INT. He Richie waves back. Richie nods. Richie comes downstairs in his pajamas. Royal The doors of another elevator open. INT.
Richie picks up the stack of books off the table next to his cot. DAY. We just started. It says “Chapter Eight. He looks exhausted and depressed. A dalmation mouse appears and crawls among them. Royal stands with his back to Richie. ELEVATOR. He hangs it on the wall in its place. Raleigh’s book. sir. Royal is dressed in his elevator-operator uniform. He steps into Royal’s
Richie looks back to Royal. Royal sees Richie looks surprised. He takes three well-dressed businessmen down to the lobby. Pagoda Richie looks at him. DAY. Royal closes the doors and pulls a lever.
ROYAL (CONT’D) What floor? RICHIE It doesn’t matter. Margot turns away and goes out the tent.”
The next morning. The book on top is Family of Geniuses. Then there are Margot’s books. The doors open.96. ROYAL Thank you. ROYAL (CONT’D) He nods. The elevator goes up. waves to Richie. HALLWAY. Pagoda hesitates. The record ends. He spreads them out on the floor among his Matchbox cars and tennis trophies. is the operator. ROYAL Yeah. CONTINUED: (3) They look at each other for a long minute. One of the businessmen hands Royal a dollar as they walk out into the lobby. RICHIE (CONT’D) So you’re elevator operators now.
The elevator at the Lindbergh Palace.
I guess I’m trying to prove I can pay my dues and what-not. But. Royal looks surprised and moved. we’re broke. looking out at the city. Royal turns around quickly and looks to Richie.
Royal and Richie stand on the edge of the roof. RICHIE
ROYAL Since when? RICHIE Since always. ROYAL He says quietly: He nods. ROOF. ROYAL Margot Tenenbaum? Yeah. DAY.97.
RICHIE You asked me why I choked out there that day. and I wanted your advice. Silence. in answer to your question. Sure. I think I know the answer. Richie nods. ROYAL Does she know? Uh-huh. Silence. EXT. just hope somebody knows. RICHIE (CONT’D) Well. RICHIE
ROYAL And what’s her feeling about it? RICHIE I think she feels confused. CONTINUED: RICHIE What made you decide to do that? ROYAL Well.
98. RICHIE (pause) That’s OK.
We’re not related by
ROYAL (CONT’D) I don’t know. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s still frowned upon. I wish I knew what to tell you. blood. I never understood any of us. Pop. Silence. CONTINUED: ROYAL I can understand that. Why not? Hell.
ROYAL (CONT’D) You know what? Don’t listen to me. you love each other. ROYAL (pause) That’s true. He stares down at the ground. right? Richie nods. Maybe it works. Royal nods. ROYAL I wish I had a little more to offer in that department. Royal looks very sad. RICHIE I don’t think so. RICHIE I know you do. I never understood her. so -Royal stops short. illegal. myself. ROYAL No. I do. Royal nods. and nobody knows what’s going to happen. He keeps looking down at the ground. His expression changes. takes a deep breath. but I just don’t. (CONTINUED) He
. it’s not. but then what isn’t these days. He says quietly: ROYAL (CONT’D) Do you still consider me your father? RICHIE Sure. Royal shrugs.
ROYAL Jiminy Cricket. Richie looks off into the distance. ROYAL He smooths out the
Richie slowly reaches out to the falcon.
ROYAL (CONT’D) She’s a great looking girl. and she’s smart as a whip.
RICHIE I’m not so sure this is Mordecai. ELEVATOR. Holy shit. He frowns. A falcon flies in a low circle around the building. Richie frowns. the son of a bitch must be molting. Richie seems uncertain.
RICHIE I need your help with something else. He hesitates. but now he has white feathers on his neck. INT.
ROYAL Well.99. ROYAL What do you mean? here. feathers on its neck and says softly: RICHIE You came back. and -Mordecai? RICHIE
Royal looks up. perched on Richie’s arm. DAY. Royal and Richie watch as it lands on the railing in front of them.
He seems frightened. Silence. The falcon is
Richie and Royal ride down in the elevator. He flew right in
RICHIE Yeah. Royal looks up at the sky. Royal and Richie study the falcon. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL I don’t blame you. He must have a goddamn radar in his brain. by the way.
. Eli looks confused and uneasy.100. RICHIE We want to take you to get some help. Electronic music blasts form the stereo.
Eli sits on the couch in his study working on a jigsaw puzzle of the Beatles crossing Abbey Road. Richie walks into the room. What’s the situation? RICHIE Well. Yes? ELI Everyone looks up. Three Egyptian men are chopping up yellow powder on the table. Royal and Pagoda follow him.
The door opens and Richie looks inside. INT. He yells into a walkie-talkie: Pagoda! ROYAL (CONT’D) Let’s hit it!
RICHIE (hesitates) I didn’t mean right this second. I think -Hang on. DAY. ROYAL
Royal throws the lever on the elevator to full speed. It accelerates and starts shaking violently. ELI (CONT’D) I guess Margot and your mother couldn’t make it. Silence. CONTINUED: ROYAL (excitedly) You got it. Eli and the Egyptian men stare at Richie. They are dressed in their elevator-operator uniforms. Richie. He says awkwardly: ELI (CONT’D) Hey. Eli has yellow powder on his nose. ELI’S STUDY. ELI (pause) Is it just you guys? Richie looks slightly confused. There is a knock on the door.
Pagoda points to the door. Eli looks deeply depressed. I can’t believe you would ask me that.
RICHIE You don’t have to say anything. Royal looks to the Egyptian men. RICHIE It doesn’t matter. across from them. please? The Egyptian men hesitate. (CONTINUED)
. ELI I don’t know what to say. CONTINUED: Eli looks disappointed. He sits down next to Eli.101. and Margot. I heard about you
Silence. Eli gets up and goes over to the window. Richie nods. He sees the bandages around Richie’s
ELI (CONT’D) What happened there? RICHIE (hesitates) Nothing. arms. ELI What do you mean? Are we? RICHIE Royal and Pagoda sit The
ELI Of course. ROYAL Would you excuse us. Egyptian men leave the room. He looks out at the backyard. I’m sorry. RICHIE Are we still friends? Eli seems embarrassed and hurt. RICHIE Where’s Sabrina? ELI (pause) They went back to England. Richie goes over and stands next to him.
Royal and Richie rush over to the window. He sees Eli running down the fire escape. Let me just get my things.
ELI But it doesn’t mean what it used to. run into the street. Royal nods and says
Me. He looks to Richie. and I want to get better. DAY. ELI Yeah. reaches out. quietly: Eli looks to Royal. CONTINUED: (2) ELI I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum. Eli goes into the bathroom and locks the door. ELI (CONT’D) I wish you’d’ve done this for me when I was a kid. but it still would’ve meant a lot to me. too. too. does it? Richie shakes his head. Royal is dressed in his elevator-operator uniform. ROYAL I want to order some ice cream for my daughter. Eli opens the window. He Pagoda goes
A room decorated like a birthday cake. please. over to the window and looks out. I really appreciate your coming over here now. Margot sits across from Royal. Margot? (CONTINUED)
. A waiter stands next to him. I do recognize that I have a problem. ROYAL Me. RICHIE (pause) But you didn’t have a drug problem then. ICE-CREAM PARLOR. you know? Richie nods. and picks a dead leaf off a branch of a tree. Anyway. What would you like. has on socks but no shoes. INT. PAGODA There he goes.102. and hail a taxi. Every booth is filled with divorced fathers and their young daughters. They watch Eli drop to the ground.
so am I. minutes. MARGOT (hesitates) Well.
I only have five
Margot sighs. He has a bunch of white flowers in his hand.
ROYAL Your brother’s all torn up inside.
MARGOT (CONT’D) You probably don’t even know my middle name. (CONTINUED)
. Silence.103. Do they? Royal nods. Royal sighs. MARGOT
Silence. The waiter nods and walks away. MARGOT (sadly) I know it was. EXT. DAY.
MARGOT (CONT’D) I’ll have a butterscotch sundae. ROYAL (pause) It’s a trick question. Royal looks frustrated. I think people want to hear that. CONTINUED: MARGOT I told you. MARGOT
You don’t have
ROYAL (surprised) That was my mother’s name. Nothing.
Royal stands on the sidewalk in front of the Tenenbaum house. one. Helen. He leans across the table and says urgently:
ROYAL Can’t someone be a shit their whole life and want to repair the damage? I mean. but I’m not going to discuss it with you. I guess. SIDEWALK.
They both look depressed. HENRY (hesitates) Hello. It contains a sheaf of typwritten documents. STREET. Royal looks nervous. He walks away.
Etheline and Henry come down the front steps of Henry’s building. CONTINUED: Anwar is asleep in the BMW parked at the curb. From you? Yes. He stands alone with his hands in his pockets. DAY. CUT TO: Royal putting his bunch of flowers on Rachael’s grave. EXT. Royal throws
Ari looks out the window. Royal hands Etheline the envelope. Uzi appears beside him. a pebble at a window on the third floor. Royal has a large envelope in his hands. ROYAL (CONT’D) This is Sanchez. He’s a notary public. Henry does not know what to say. Royal motions to the Mexican man. made it. Actually.104.
Royal looks to Henry. Henry shrugs. Royal calls up to them: ROYAL Anybody feel like grabbing a couple of burgers and hitting the cemetery? Chas appears between Ari and Uzi. Royal smiles. She looks to Henry. She opens the envelope. (CONTINUED)
. Etheline and Henry see him. ETHELINE What’s this? A divorce. I
Etheline and Henry look at Royal warily. Ethel. He looks down to Royal. Ari opens the window. Royal goes over to them ROYAL I got you something. Chas closes the window. ROYAL She says quietly:
Etheline looks to Royal. next to a small Mexican man in a windbreaker and a tie. Royal is waiting at the bus stop on the corner.
105. sir. And here. ROYAL If you’ll just sign here.
ROYAL (CONT’D) I didn’t think so much of him at first. Etheline signs. Royal hands Etheline a pen and points to a dotted line. please.
. but now I get it. Royal hands the sheaf of documents to Sanchez. Thanks. ETHELINE Are we divorced? Almost. Etheline signs. He turns back to Etheline. Henry does not respond. SANCHEZ You’re welcome. don’t you. ROYAL Sanchez just has to file the
Royal signals to the bus driver. block. CONTINUED: SANCHEZ Hello. both of you. Henry? It’s magnificent. ROYAL (CONT’D) I love you. Royal looks to Henry. Ethel. A city bus approaches from the next ROYAL (CONT’D)
ROYAL (CONT’D) Here comes my bus. He’s everything I’m not. ROYAL (CONT’D) And initial here. ROYAL (CONT’D) You own this building. Sanchez puts several stamps and notations on it. Etheline signs. Etheline. I used to be a homeowner myself. And congratulations. Royal looks up at Henry’s building. papers. Sanchez. but my son expropriated it from me.
NIGHT. CHAS’ BEDROOM. He has on sunglasses. She nods. ELI’S CAR. Uzi and Pagoda stand in front of the house with Buckley. He whispers: ROYAL I got you some jawbreakers. and he is covered with grass and dirt. INT. He yells:
ROYAL (CONT’D) Take back Pagoda. INT. DAY.
. receiving the wedding guests. It is nearly identical to the invitation on the cover of the first edition of The Royal Tenenbaums. Etheline
Eli drives through a tunnel at top speed in the middle of the night. The midshipman is Walter. He hugs Pagoda and kisses Ari and Uzi on the tops of their heads. They hide them in their jackets. and Henry stand watching with Sanchez. HENRY It’s slightly uneven. DAY. STREET. He looks lost and sad. Half of them are black and half are white.”
Ari. CUT TO: Page 258. He looks around. will you? Etheline hesitates. EXT. The door closes. They help people out of their cars. There are about fifty guests. The members of the wedding party are dressed in morning suits. runs to the bus. and He looks back to Etheline. CONTINUED: (2) Royal smiles. give them programs for the ceremony. Royal smiles at Ari and Uzi. jumps inside.106. INSERT: An invitation to Etheline’s and Henry’s wedding at the house on Archer Avenue. It says “Chapter Nine. and direct them to the front door.
A twenty-one-year-old black Navy midshipman helps Henry finish tying his bow tie. Royal slips Ari and Uzi each a large purple-and-green-striped jawbreaker. Royal and Dusty get out of a gypsy cab. Henry studies his tie in the mirror. Electronic music blasts from the stereo. He turns away suddenly.
I forgot. Henry? RICHIE Richie cracks
Henry looks to the door. HENRY I’m a widower.
Margot looks out the window at the guests arriving on the street while Etheline finishes her make-up. DAY. INT.
CHAS Oh. HENRY I know you are. He nods. Walter hesitates. Chas looks to Henry. help me quit.107. yeah. ETHELINE What are you chewing on? MARGOT My nicotine inhaler. Walter. HENRY Hello. Chas. Richie comes into the room. He and Walter shake hands. (pause) You know. CHAS Henry’s your dad? Chas is standing in the doorway. This is my son.
CHAS (CONT’D) So you’ve been married before? Yes. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. open the door and looks into the room. Walter Sherman. WALTER Nice to meet you. Richie. ETHELINE Is it working? It’s supposed to
RICHIE Nice to meet you. CONTINUED: Henry unties his knot and starts from scratch. Margot has a white plastic inhaler in her mouth. I’m a widower myself.
DAY. Royal looks panicked. DAY. Royal and the priest look down the block. I’m half Hebrew. He wears a distracted smile. INT.
There is a tremendous crashing boom and the sound of shattering glass. INT. EXT. A car’s tires squeal around the corner. CUT TO: Ari. MARGOT’S BEDROOM.
Eli’s face is covered with Apache warpaint. CONTINUED: MARGOT Not really. and steers toward the Tenenbaum house. STREET. He looks to Ari and Uzi and hollers: Boys! ROYAL
Royal jumps down the stairs.
Ari and Uzi tie Buckley’s leash around a pole in front of the house. DAY. ROYAL Well. He downshifts. of course. ETHELINE What was that?
. Royal and a very small Irish priest stand together at the top of the steps. accelerates. ELI’S CAR. Eli’s convertible skids through the turn on to Archer Avenue. PRIEST (nods) So they were raised in the church. but the children are three-quarters MickCatholic. He is dressed in a morning suit. Royal and the priest frown. Etheline rushes over next to Margot at the window. He whispers: ELI Here I come. I really don’t know. Uzi and Buckley watching frozen as Eli’s car races toward them. ROYAL (pause) I believe so.108.
ROYAL (CONT’D) They’re safe. INT. Chas grabs Ari and Uzi.
Chas sprints down the stairs three at a time. The lighter airmail envelopes drift about in the wind. It’s OK. Chas runs down the steps. DAY. He sets them down. Chas runs over to them.
Eli sits on the floor. CONTINUED: MARGOT Eli just crashed his car into the front of the house. What? CHAS
. Eli puts it on. LIVING ROOM. EXT. DAY. covered in glass and debris. particularly the warpaint. He gets back up and keeps running. barefoot. ETHELINE Oh. DAY. Three dalmation mice dart around the room in confusion. ELI Where are my shoes? Dudley finds one of Eli’s shoes in the fireplace. SIDEWALK. He yells: CHAS Where are you? Royal and Richie stand up among the rubble. STAIRWELL. ROYAL They’re OK. Chas. He examines them.109. and mail is scattered all over the sidewalk. Royal holds Ari under one arm and Uzi under the other. they ran over Buckley. He hands
The wedding guests quickly begin to come out the front door and gather around the smashed car. They look alarmed at his appearance. There is also a crushed mailbox. Several guests help Eli stagger to his feet. it to Eli. He is bleeding from a head wound. my God. He falls and bangs against the wall. INT.
Chas bolts up the steps. ROYAL Wait!
DAY. does not appear to notice Eli’s strange appearance and injuries. Kind of. ELI (CONT’D) Is everybody okay?
Eli sees Chas staring at him. Ari and Uzi start to cry. He darts away from the window. He did? He says blankly:
Richie nods. KITCHEN. Chas smashes open the door. appears in the broken front window of the home. PAGODA This is the quail’s egg. Eli! CHAS
The guests panic as Eli jumps over a couch. HALLWAY. He
Pagoda looks up from a tray of canapes he is preparing. Chas looks to Royal. DAY. CONTINUED: Chas looks to Royal.
. ROYAL I think we lost Buckley. Royal shrugs. ELI Did I hit anybody? Everyone looks to Eli. He holds one of the canapes to him. INT. Eli hesitates. Buckley’s leash remains tied to the railing and extends taut beneath the wheels of Eli’s car. knocks over a chair. He screams:
Chas bursts into the house. banging his way through the crowd.110. Richie brushes some debris off Uzi’s hair. Chas! INT. Eli takes it quickly. He looks to Chas and points to Royal. Royal nods. RICHIE He saved them. checks him and breaks out of the room. He turns to the wreckage. Chas looks to Richie. and ducks into the kitchen.
Chas lies down on the ground. RICHIE He climbs over the wall. Eli scratches and clutches. It is locked. Chas picks up Eli and tries to throw him over the wall.
Eli runs to the back wall and tries the gate. Chas! RICHIE Don’t!
Richie tries to pull Chas off Eli. Richie runs outside. NEIGHBOR’S YARD. He turns to everyone watching him. They look stunned. Chas? Chas hesitates. Eli is stretched out on his back. There are bonsai trees all around them. He throws Eli over the wall. Richie falls backwards into the bushes. Chas grabs him by the arm. It is very quiet. CHAS
ELI (pause) I need help. swings him around. and slams him against the wall. He has his hand over his eye. EXT. They both stare up at the sky. (CONTINUED)
. DAY. next to Eli. He seems drained. CONTINUED: They slam past the priest and knock him down the basement stairs. ELI Did I hit the dog? Yeah. Chas tackles him hard. DAY. The wedding guests scream and yell and try to break it up or get away. Help! ELI Please!
Chas yells insanely. Chas breathes heavily. Eli yells.
EXT. BACKYARD. CHAS
ELI (pause) Is he dead? Yeah.
Chas lands in a Zen garden. People rush into the backyard. Eli slips out the back door and sprints into the garden.111. Richie sits up in the bushes. He and Chas look at each other. Chas elbows Richie in the face.
them. Raleigh holds the priest’s hand.112. A small Asian woman in a kimono looks out at
ROYAL (CONT’D) Can we get into your backyard. EMBASSY. He says suddenly: ROYAL Can I say something to you.
Henry and Royal run around the corner and up the steps of a neighbor’s house. Royal seems genuinely moved by this remark. ROYAL Well. He says gently:
HENRY I don’t think you’re an asshole. EXT. PARAMEDIC I think he may’ve broken his ankle. Royal. DAY. SIDEWALK. CONTINUED: CHAS
So do I. But I’d feel pretty blue if I didn’t think you were going to forgive me. ma’am? We got a couple of boys out there. A plaque next to the front door says “Residence of the Japanese Ambassador. down at Chas and Eli. Henry? Henry looks to Royal. You’re just a kind of a son of a bitch.
There are two police cars.” Royal knocks. He looks back behind him and yells to someone: WALTER Go around to the other side! EXT. I appreciate that. The door opens. Henry nods. an ambulance. ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ve been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. a tow-truck and a fire engine in front of the house. That’s just my style. Raleigh and two paramedics roll the priest on a gurney. Royal looks to Henry.
. DAY. They wait.
Walter looks over the top of the wall.
indeed. and there are several bandages on his head and arms. is it? (to the priest) Do you have an alternative? The priest shakes his head.
. Eli is being questioned by a police officer. POLICE OFFICER I love your work. and killed that poor dog. ROYAL I think he’s part mutt. smashed it into the house. He looks very upset. The police officer studies Eli’s driver’s license. POLICE OFFICER You’re Eli Cash. Royal looks impressed. Sparkplug. RICHIE Not really. His warpaint is smeared.
Dusty stands with Richie on the sidewalk and examines his eye.
ROYAL (CONT’D) Sit. What kind of
Royal points at the dalmation. It is scratched badly and looks terrible. CONTINUED: RALEIGH That’s not terribly serious. papers you got for him? One of the firemen shrugs. DUSTY Can you see out of it? Richie covers his good eye to test his bad eye. ELI At which point I apparently lost control of the vehicle. ELI (touched) How sweet of you to say so. The dalmation sits.113. ELI (pause) I am. Royal stands among a group of firemen with a dalmation.
Dudley laughs crazily. RALEIGH What’s so funny. Ari and Uzi try to look at Buckley under Eli’s car as several firemen and tow-truck drivers attach straps and chains to the wheels and axle. HENRY It doesn’t matter. Etheline goes over to them. Page me if it spreads to the other eye. Royal takes the dalmation over to Chas. but there’s nothing we can do for him. CONTINUED: (2) DUSTY Uh-huh. ROYAL I got you a new dog for the boys. ETHELINE I know.114. ETHELINE You boys come over here with me. CHAS What’s this? ROYAL I just bought him. CHAS He looks back to Royal. It’s still best to file under force majeure and recoup the deductible. Dudley? DUDLEY You look great! Henry and Walter survey the scene from the smashed-out living room window. WALTER But these aren’t structure-bearing elements. Walter points to the rubble. Minor corneal damage. ARI But Buckley’s still under there. at the moment. Chas looks at the dalmation.
Silence. Dad. (CONTINUED)
. You did? Royal nods. Raleigh and Dudley stand next to each other wearing firemen’s helmets.
Royal holds out the leash. (CONTINUED)
ROYAL You’re welcome. He takes it.115. ROYAL I know you have. Etheline smiles sadly. Richie has an ice pack over his eye. Chassie. Chas. Royal puts his hand on Chas’ head. ROOF. CONTINUED: (3) ROYAL I’m sorry I let you down. He nods. EXT. I’ve been trying to make it up to you. Thank you.
Richie and Margot sit near the edge of the roof. Dad. Margot says quietly: MARGOT Well. Ari takes the leash. Uzi pets the dalmation. DAY. their hair turns white. Royal looks back at her. Etheline looks to Royal. CHAS What’s his name? ROYAL (quietly) Sparkplug. CHAS Chas hesitates. I’m sure he’ll get over it. Royal watches as Chas takes the dalmation over to Ari and Uzi and talks to them quietly for a minute. Silence. next to the falcon in its coop. Chas looks to Royal and takes a deep breath. He stares at the ground.
CHAS We’ve had a rough year. He brushes his hand against the white feathers on the falcon’s neck. MARGOT I wonder what happened to him. RICHIE I don’t know. (pause) Sometimes when people have a traumatic experience. Chas suddenly starts crying. All of you.
GARDEN. and she lights it. NARRATOR (V. CONTINUED: Richie nods.116. It is still sealed. with a jawbreaker in his mouth: ARI Dear Heavenly Father -INT. Uzi and Chas watch Royal throw dirt on to a grave in the backyard. She reaches behind it and takes out a pack of cigarettes and a matchbook. boys. The dalmation sits on the ground next to them. HENRY So help me God. Richie studies the pack of cigarettes. puts it in her mouth.
Henry and Etheline stand side by side in front of a judge in a small office with green carpet and an exercise bicycle. takes out a cigarette. DAY. She turns and looks at the top of the chimney. RICHIE How old you think those are? Margot opens the pack. MARGOT I’d say about ten years. EXT. She looks to Richie. Henry has his left hand raised and his right hand on a bible. Margot offers him a cigarette.) Royal dug a hole for Buckley behind the garden shed. She points at the chimney.
.O. He takes it. and Royal takes a drink. She pulls out a loose brick. and buried him in a canvas duffle bag. and they smoke their stale cigarettes together. She takes a puff. OFFICE. MARGOT (CONT’D) This was one of my first hiding places. and lights it. Chas hands Royal a bottle of scotch. ROYAL All right. Margot looks at him for a minute. but the wrapper has faded. DAY. Margot puts her arm around Richie’s shoulder. She takes her inhaler out of her mouth and puts it in her pocket. Say a prayer --
Ari begins. Richie nods. They have tears in their eyes.
A stage-set for a play that appears to take place in a network of tree houses on a tropical island. NARRATOR (V. in judge’s chambers.O. INT. NARRATOR (CONT’D) It ran for just under two weeks and received mixed reviews. Raleigh and Dudley sit onstage at a table in front of an audience of doctors and medical students. Dudley shakes his head emphatically. The rest of the audience is silent. CONTINUED: The judge extends the Bible to Etheline. was produced at the Cavendish Theatre.O.O. on it. INT. INSERT:
.) Etheline and Henry were married fortyeight hours later. The house is sold out. Raleigh takes a question. under the marquee. CUT TO: Margot standing alone outside the theatre. smoking a cigarette. Elaine Levinson. She puts her hand
NARRATOR (V. The Levinsons in the Trees. He laughs quietly and shakes his head. DAY. NARRATOR (V. THEATRE.117. my Lord. NIGHT. FATHER This is my adopted daughter.
Brooks College. A father introduces his daughter to a group of native tribesmen.) Margot’s new play. no. Royal sits in the front row with the other Tenenbaums. AUDITORIUM.) Raleigh and Dudley went on a lecture tour to eleven universities in the promotion of their new book. MEDICAL STUDENT Can he tell time? RALEIGH Oh.
A concrete tennis court with a chain-link net.to twelveyear-olds at the 375th Street Y.O. ready to serve. Runs with Two Horses.) Richie started a programme teaching competitive tennis to eight. Richie fires his return full-speed straight down the line. Eli points to him. They are all laughing. Dudley’s World.118.
Royal. Chas. Uzi watches it race past him. His expression is almost impossibly blank. RICHIE Rod Laver used it. Uzi and a group of children dressed in tennis clothes watch as Richie demonstrates the continental style of grip to them.O. EXT. On the dust jacket there is a yearbook photograph of Dudley with his Henry Aaron-style glasses flipped up. Ari. DAY. DAY. HOSPITAL. ELI This is my sponsor. Native American man in his late forties walks over to Eli. skinny. EXT.) Royal had a heart attack at the age of sixty-eight. NARRATOR (V. Uzi hits a fast serve to Richie’s forehand.
A resort compound on the high plains. 375TH STREET Y ROOFTOP. He and Eli are dressed in matching deerskin jackets. is? You know who Laver He bounces a ball and gets
Uzi steps up to the service line. Ari and Uzi ride on the back of a speeding garbage truck. Richie has a white gauze patch taped over his eye. CONTINUED: A copy of Raleigh’s new book. A tall. INT. NARRATOR (V.
NARRATOR (V.) Eli checked himself into a rehabilitation hospital in North Dakota. STREET. He has stitches on his forehead. Eli practices with a lasso in front of several young addicts.
Everyone in the family is gathered around as Chas. NARRATOR (CONT’D) In his will. Chas puts his hand on Royal’s cheek. CEMETERY. looks up at Chas. Royal appears to be smiling underneath his oxygen mask. Richie.
INT. Eli stands next to Walter. He looks puzzled. holding his hand. Dusty stands beside him. Richie throws a white flower into the grave. Royal’s gravestone sits in a wheelbarrow next to a pile of dirt. DAY. Margot has her arm around Richie’s shoulder. She takes his arm. It says “Epilogue. Chas looks to Ari and Uzi standing a few yards away.) Chas rode with him in the ambulance. Raleigh. and the sky is getting dark. Pagoda wears Royal’s sunglasses.” Epitaph: “Died tragically rescuing his family from the wreckage of a destroyed sinking battleship. He nods. and was the only witness to his father’s death.119. Tears stream down his face.THE END --
Royal is strapped on to a gurney with tubes sticking out of his arms and an oxygen mask on his face. INSERT: Page 275 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Royal closes his eyes. AMBULANCE.” The priest sees this and hesitates. They are all bundled up in coats and scarves.
-. he stipulated that his funeral take place at dusk. EXT.O. The priest is on crutches.
DAY. Henry stands next to Etheline. They step away from the grave. Henry. NARRATOR (V. Eli. She smokes a cigarette. Ari and Uzi fire several shots into the air with Chas’ and Royal’s old BB guns. The ambulance races full-speed up the wrong side of the street. They all stand in silence for a minute before they turn away and walk to their waiting car. It reads “Royal O’Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001). Dusty and Pagoda lower the casket. Chas sits beside him. He smiles slightly. Raleigh stands next to Dudley.” He
Snow falls lightly.