Here again, some people avoid French kissing for a reason: They have prob-lems breathing through their noses. If you really love this art form, and yourpartner can’t satisfy you because of a breathing problem, have your partnersee a doctor, as help may be available.Kissing isn’t limited to mouths. You can kiss each other all over your bodies,and both the kisser and kissee should thoroughly enjoy the experience. If youdon’t want to have oral sex because you’re squeamish about the messyresults, you can still cover your lover’s genitals with light kisses becausedoing so is rarely sufficient stimulation to induce orgasm. A few gentle kissesnow and then on your partner’s genitals will at least let your partner knowthat, even though you don’t want to give him or her an orgasm that way,you’re not repulsed by this part of the anatomy — you just prefer to have sexin other ways. “The tongue: Master of foreplay” and “Fellatio” sections laterin this chapter provide more details about oral sex, as does Chapter 13.
Eyes wide shut
One question that often pops up is whether when kissing passionately youshould keep your eyes open or shut. In actuality, the issue doesn’t have somuch to do with your eyes as with your brain. Kissing is something thatrequires some concentration. You want to feel your lover’s mouth, and youwant to communicate that, with this kiss, you’re sharing more than just yourlips, but your very souls. If your eyes are open, it’s harder to focus on thesensations of the kiss. That’s not to say that you have to close your eyes, butjust keep in mind that what your eyes see distracts your brain, and when thathappens, the kiss may be less meaningful.
More than just the lips
If you’re wondering what to do with your hands while kissing, I wouldn’t rec-ommend clasping them behind your back, but you also don’t want to startgroping your partner. “Why not?” some of you may be asking. Because it’sdistracting. Don’t worry, you’ll get to the next stage eventually, but kissingrepresents an important component of foreplay, and it can be easily over-whelmed. So holding your partner or lightly caressing him or her is fine, butmake sure that you control your hands.
How long is long enough
For some guys who are intent on getting to phase two, kissing is no morethan a speed bump, and so something to get over as quickly as possible. Thatattitude is a big mistake. Not only do you miss out on the pleasures that kiss-ing offers, but by rushing your partner, you only succeed in making her lessaroused. So although there’s no particular time that a kiss should last, thedecision to end it should be mutual, not one-sided.
Part II:Doing It
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