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Inner Dialogue

by Kirk Shimano
(Excerpt)

CHARACTERS: John, Kyle


SETTING: A coffee shop on a weekend afternoon

AUTHOR’S NOTE: Throughout this play we hear the characters speaking their
private thoughts aloud, but they should be acted as if they are speaking directly to
each other.

( JOHN sits at a table. He speaks to the empty chair. )

JOHN
Well, he’s late. Figures. Guys in his league are used to having people wait for
them. I’m still not sure why he even agreed to meet up. Maybe I’m better looking
than I thought. Or maybe he’s just bored. Or maybe he won’t show up at all.
( KYLE enters and stands a bit apart, looking around. )
I think that’s him. I always hate this part. I need to perfect that look. That look that
says “You’re the guy I’m supposed to meet for a date unless you’re not in which
case I’m just looking in your general direction for no particular reason.”

KYLE
That has to be him over there. He’s totally giving me a first date look.

JOHN
I’m sure you’re the guy. You have to be the guy. What’s going through your mind
right now?

KYLE
I wonder if it’s worth going over there. I might as well – it’s what I came here for.
You look awfully nervous.
( KYLE approaches the table )
Did you actually dress up for this? It’s just coffee. What are you thinking right
now?

JOHN
I hate this part too. It would be weird if I hug you, right? I guess we should shake
hands. But that seems so distant. Maybe it’s manly. Manly is good, right? Oh wait
you’re already sitting down. Wow, you’re even hotter than you looked in your
online profile.

KYLE
You’re just as disappointing as I thought you would be.

JOHN
Did I remember to pluck my nose hairs?

KYLE
Maybe if we get this over with soon I can go home and take a nap.

JOHN
My last date had these huge nose hairs and I couldn’t stop staring at them. Maybe
I can see my reflection in this spoon.

KYLE
And now you’re staring at your spoon. Great, you’re weird too.