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MAIN CAST ROYAL TENENBAUM ETHELINE TENENBAUM CHAS TENENBAUM MARGOT TENENBAUM RICHIE TENENBAUM ELI CASH HENRY SHERMAN RALEIGH ST. CLAIR DUSTY PAGODA NARRATOR ARI TENENBAUM UZI TENENBAUM Gene Hackman Anjelica Houston Ben Stiller Gwyneth Paltrow Luke Wilson Owen Wilson Danny Glover Bill Murray Seymour Cassel Kumar Pallana Alec Baldwin Grant Rosenmeyer Jonah Meyerson
INSERT: A first edition copy of The Royal Tenenbaums. On the dust jacket there is an illustration of a creamcolored note card that looks like a wedding invitation. title of the book is engraved on the card. The next page says “Chapter One.” NARRATOR (V.O.) Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on Archer Avenue in the winter of his thirty-fifth year. CUT TO: A five-story limestone townhouse. A forty-three-year-old man in a raincoat rings the front doorbell. He is Royal. NARRATOR (CONT’D) Over the next decade, he and his wife had three children and then they separated. INT. DINING ROOM. DAY. He is surrounded by The
Royal sits at the head of a long table. his children.
Chas is twelve, with curly hair, dressed in a black suit and tie. Margot is ten, with a barrette in her hair, wearing a knitted LaCoste dress and penny loafers. Richie is eight, with long hair, parted on the side, dressed in a Bjorn Borgstyle tennis outfit with a headband. Chas wears a blank expression, Margot looks as if she is about to cry, and Richie has tears all over his face. MARGOT Are you getting divorced? ROYAL (gently) At the moment, no. good.
But it doesn’t look
RICHIE Do you still love us? ROYAL Of course, I do. CHAS (pointedly) Do you still love Mom?
2. CONTINUED: ROYAL Very much. But she asked me to leave, and I had to respect her position on the matter. MARGOT Was it our fault? ROYAL (long pause) No. Obviously, we had to make certain sacrifices as a result of having children, but no. Lord, no. RICHIE Why’d she ask you to leave? ROYAL (sadly) I don’t really know any more. Maybe I wasn’t as true to her as I could’ve been. CHAS Well, she says -ROYAL Let’s not rehash it, Chassie. An Indian man with salt-and-pepper hair, dressed in pink pants, a white shirt and a white apron, comes in from the kitchen with a Martini on a tray. He is Pagoda. NARRATOR (V.O.) They were never legally divorced. Pagoda hands Royal the Martini. ROYAL Thanks, Pagoda. INT. HALLWAY. DAY.
A gallery of the children’s art, done mostly in crayon, but with beautiful frames and careful lighting. The subject matter includes: spaceships, wild animals, sailboats, motorcycles, and war scenes with tanks and paratroopers. A stuffed and mounted boar’s head with its teeth bared hangs in the stairwell. A label on it says “Wild Javelina, Andes Mountains.” Under the stairs there is a telephone room the size of a closet. Old messages are tacked to the walls, and the children’s heights are marked on the door frame. A thirty-three-year-old woman with a scarf around her neck and sunglasses on top of her head talks on a rotary telephone. She is Etheline. (CONTINUED)
3. CONTINUED: Richie sits on her lap reading an Atlas of the World. Margot sits on a foot-stool reading The Cherry Orchard. Chas stands in the doorway with a slip of blue paper in his hand. NARRATOR (V.O.) Etheline Tenenbaum kept the house and raised the children, and their education was her highest priority. Etheline says into the telephone: ETHELINE I’ll hold, thank you. CHAS I need $187. ETHELINE (pause) Write yourself a check. Chas hands Etheline the slip of blue paper. INSERT: A cheque made out in the amount of $187. Etheline signs it. CUT TO: Chas taking back the cheque. telephone: Bene. Si. Etheline says into the
ETHELINE (CONT’D) Grazie mille.
Etheline hangs up. There is a schedule of activities -guitar, ballet, yoga, scuba-diving -- written on a chalkboard behind her and divided into columns labelled Chas, Richie and Margot. She changes an Italian lesson from 4:30 to 5:30. NARRATOR (V.O.) She wrote a book on the subject. INSERT: A copy of Etheline Tenenbaum’s book, Family of Geniuses. On the dust jacket there is a photograph of the three children conducting a press conference in a room crowded with journalists. It appears to have been published in the late seventies. CUT TO: The press conference. Chas points to a reporter.
CHAS The gentleman in the blue cardigan, please. (CONTINUED)
4. CONTINUED: (2) REPORTER I have a two-part question. CHAS DAY.
Thank you. Go ahead. INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM.
Chas’ room looks like a businessman’s office, except it is very small and has bunk beds. There is a desk with an Apple II computer and an electric coffee pot on it. There is a water cooler in the corner, with a paper cup dispenser. Chas stands talking on the telephone while Etheline brings in his lunch on a tray. NARRATOR (V.O.) Chas Tenenbaum had, since elementary school, taken most of his meals in his room, standing up at his desk with a cup of coffee, to save time. On a shelf in an alcove there are ten cages connected together by plastic tubes. White mice with tiny black spots all over them race around outside the cages. Chas feeds one of them a drop of blue liquid from a test tube. NARRATOR (CONT’D) In the sixth grade, he went into business, breeding dalmation mice, which he sold to a pet shop in Little Tokyo. There are twenty-five pinstriped suits in boys’ size twelve and an electric tie rack hanging in the closet. Chas pushes a button on the tie rack and the ties glide along a track. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He started buying real estate in his early teens and seemed to have an almost preternatural understanding of international finance. There are a small weightlifting bench and punchbag in the corner. There is a set of exercise charts neatly drawn with felt-tip pen tacked on the wall. Chas bench-presses about fifty pounds on a small barbell. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He negotiated the purchase of his father’s summer house on Eagle’s Island. EXT. BACKYARD. DAY.
A house in the country. Chas crouches in the bushes with a BB gun. Across the lawn, he sees two younger boys with BB guns drop down from a tree. (CONTINUED)
5. CONTINUED: One of the boys is Richie, and the other has nearly-white blond hair. He is Eli. He wears Apache warpaint. Chas gets Richie in his sights. ROYAL Hold it, Chassie. Chas freezes. He looks up and sees Royal watching from the roof with a BB gun trained on him. Royal is dressed in khaki pants, sunglasses and no shirt. CHAS What are you doing? ROYAL (hesitates) There are no teams. Royal fires. Chas screams and fires back as Royal scrambles away, laughing. NARRATOR (V.O.) The BB was still lodged between two knuckles in Chas’ left hand. INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. DAY. You’re on my team!
The walls of Margot’s room are red, with little running zebras painted all over them. There is a collection of African masks hanging in the corner. Margot sits at a small metal stand, typing on an IBM typewriter. NARRATOR (V.O.) Margot Tenenbaum was adopted at the age of two. Her father had always noted this when introducing her. CUT TO: A cocktail party. Royal introduces Margot to a group of elderly men in black tie. ROYAL This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum. Margot nods politely. CUT TO: A wall filled with bookshelves. There are thousands of books of plays. Margot takes out a copy of The Iceman Cometh. NARRATOR (V.O.) She was a playwright and won a Braverman Grant of fifty-thousand dollars in the ninth grade. (CONTINUED)
RICHIE’S BEDROOM. There are a chemistry set. NARRATOR (V. Richie is asleep. MARGOT No. CONTINUED: There is a mock-up of a stage set for a play that appears to have taken place in a network of tree houses on a tropical island. MUSEUM. CUT TO: Richie and Margot sharing a Boy Scout sleeping bag on a bench in a gallery of wildlife dioramas in a darkened museum. DAY. NARRATOR (CONT’D) She and her brother Richie ran away from home one winter and camped out in the African Wing of the Public Archives. Richie and Margot sit on a bench in front of a large Gothic building.6.) Richie Tenenbaum had been a champion tennis player since the third grade. (CONTINUED) .O. I didn’t. INSERT: A pair of knitted gloves. too. NARRATOR (V. Richie sits on the edge of his bed. He stops and stares at Margot and Richie. Margot reads a book about sharks by the light of a flashlight. And don’t tell anybody you saw us. One finger has been clipped off at the middle knuckle and is being sewn up. A single-file line of students in Catholic school uniforms goes past them following a museum guide. a drum set and a long shelf filled with tennis trophies. They both look extremely dishevelled and tired. EXT. she disappeared alone for almost two weeks and came back with half a finger missing. DAY. Eli is at the end of the line. Eli. Richie’s room is in the attic. RICHIE ELI You said I could run away.O. Richie has on a small backpack with a sleeping bag attached to it. Hi. Margot places a tiny canoe beneath a palm tree. INT.) Four years later. Margot carries a small red suitcase.
S. There is a map of the world on the wall. desks and window sills. NARRATOR (V. Royal and Richie stand among a group of Puerto Rican men as two large.) These invitations were never extended to anyone else. Margot sits alone in the next. sharing a bag of peanuts and laughing. Richie parks a little Maserati next to a dune buggy. EXT. Etheline helps Richie hang a new portrait among the others. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He kept a studio in the corner of the ballroom but had failed to develop as a painter. Nationals three years in a row. There is a ham radio set in the corner of the room. They both watch as Royal and Richie get out of a gypsy cab in front of the house. There is a slightly run-down thirty-five-story apartment building across the street. STREET. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He turned pro at seventeen and won the U. . with colored pins stuck in different cities. Royal took him on outings around the city. CUT TO: A ballroom with vaulted ceilings and a giant chandelier on the top floor of the house.O. Eli sits alone in a window. CUT TO: The second floor of the Tenenbaum house. Chas sits alone in one window. One corner is filled with seventeen almost identical portraits of Margot looking over the top of a book with an irritated expression. Richie sits at the console wearing a set of headphones. Richie throws in a dollar. CONTINUED: There are thousands of Matchbox cars arranged on every available inch of space on tables. vicious-looking pit bulls with scars all over them snarl at each other. NARRATOR (CONT’D) On weekends.7. DAY. Royal yells along with the others: Vamanos! ROYAL Andale! Royal throws a fifty-dollar bill into a pile of money on the sidewalk.
holidays. NARRATOR (V. He lets Eli inside.O. Eli is dressed in pajamas. EXT. CHAS What’d you think. (CONTINUED) . He is dressed in pajamas.) They had agreed to invite their father to the party.O. slippers and a bathrobe. Chas and Richie are in costumes.8. NARRATOR (V. He carries a small package wrapped in red-and-pinkstriped paper with a white ribbon on it.O. There is a small stage-set across the room for a play that appears to have taken place on a ship. INT. STREET. APARTMENT. Margot. DAY. BALLROOM. CUT TO: The Tenenbaum house at night. NIGHT. mornings before school and most afternoons. A two-room apartment with a crucifix on the wall. INT.) He was a regular fixture at family gatherings. There are strings of colored lights glowing around the front door and white paper bags with candles in them on the steps. Royal sits at a table with them. Margot is a zebra. NARRATOR (V. Royal rings the front doorbell. An elderly woman works at a sewing machine in the next room. NARRATOR (CONT’D) The three Tenenbaum children performed Margot’s first play on the night of her eleventh birthday. Chas is a bear and Richie is a leopard. drinking a glass of whiskey. He wears a set of house keys on a string around his neck. Dad? ROYAL It didn’t seem believable to me. Eli finishes making his bed and folds it into the couch.) Richie’s best friend Eli Cash lived with his aunt in a building across the street. Pagoda opens the door. Eli walks up the front steps of the Tenenbaum house and rings the doorbell. There are twenty eleven-year-olds wearing party hats. DAY.
Etheline stands in the doorway with a birthday cake on a tray. The falcon has a hood over its eyes. NARRATOR He had not been invited to any of their parties since. She looks furious. CHAS Did you think the characters were -ROYAL What characters? It was just a bunch of little kids dressed in animal costumes. Pagoda stands at the light switch.” Margot walks out of the room. everyone.) In fact. Everyone begins to sing “Happy Birthday. virtually all memory of the brilliance of the young Tenenbaums had been erased by two decades of betrayal. and feeds him some sardines from a tin. one man’s opinion. Royal shakes his head. carefully removes the falcon’s hood. MARGOT Goodnight. RICHIE Go. CONTINUED: Chas looks at Margot. Royal says to Eli: Do you ROYAL (CONT’D) Why are you wearing pajamas? live here? RICHIE He has permission to sleep over. and the singing disintegrates. She is silent.O. ROYAL Sweetie. DAY. Royal looks across the room. There is a large antenna for Richie’s ham radio and a wooden coop with a falcon in it.9. Richie opens the coop. Mordecai. Margot quickly collects her unopened presents from the table. Etheline blows out the candles. NARRATOR (V. ROOF. Don’t get mad. The candles are lit. failure and disaster. (CONTINUED) . EXT. That’s just The lights go down. Richie carries the falcon on his arm to the edge of the roof. She puts Royal’s aside and sets it in front of him.
worn very long in the back. and she blows a puff of smoke as the hair dryer is lowered onto her head. Eli picks out a sandwich. Eli Cash is in the fitting room of a clothing store having a white buckskin jacket with fringe taken in. The woman quickly peels them away and begins to massage his temples. She holds up a pair of prescription sunglasses and looks at herself.) Royal Tenenbaum sits in a chair in his hotel suite with no shirt on and a towel wrapped around his face. gray beard and round glasses. white-tiled bathroom. A second helper hands him a short-brimmed Stetson cowboy hat. All three have extremely curly black hair. MONTAGE: (The names of each of our characters and the names of the actors playing them appear over the following shots. and he is dressed in red silk pajamas with white piping. They are eight and ten. She wears a pink slip and a gold locket. Royal lights a cigarette at the end of a three-inch holder. He is getting a facial. and excitedly dictates something into it. Releigh St. He has a full. She is smoking a cigarette. Steam fills the air. She is fifty-five and has long. They are also shaving. She is thirty-four. A tailor pulls at the hem of the jacket and sticks pins in the sleeves. She holds an open copy of a book of plays by George Bernard Shaw. He is now sixty-six. Clair brushes his teeth with an electric toothbrush in a very small. Chas Tenenbaum shaves in the locker room of a boxing gym. He puts it on at an angle and stares at himself. picks up a tape recorder off the edge of the sink. Margot Tenenbaum is at a hairdresser’s with three people working on her at once. The wall behind her is filled with portraits of tribesmen and native warriors from around the world.10. CONTINUED: The falcon spreads its wings and lunges into the sky. white at the temples. Her hair is being dyed. and Royal looks in the mirror. He is thirty-six and in top fighting condition. The tailor’s helper brings Eli a cup of tea and some cucumber sandwiches. and there are strips of blue cellophane covering his face. He puts the tape recorder back on the sink and starts brushing his teeth again. She has one fake finger made of wood. He stops suddenly. and there are little clamps and bits of foil twisted into it. black hair with one silver streak that runs through it. Etheline Tenenbaum draws eyeliner around her eyes in the dressing mirror. Ari and Uzi Tenenbaum are on either side of him. with grey hair. but with no blades in their razors. (CONTINUED) . She lowers them and does her lipstick. A woman in a white apron lifts off the towel.
INSERT: (CONTINUED) . underneath a row of mailboxes. The manager hands Royal the piece of paper. with long hair. INSERT: Page 22 of The Royal Tenenbaums. a striped tennis shirt. He is thirty-two. in red ink. The ocean goes by at a fast clip in the porthole behind him. I owe her a Royal points to The manager looks to the masseuse. the masseuse. and penny loafers. A towel on the dresser says The Cote d’Ivoire in red stitching. He puts the camera back into his pocket and goes out the door. a headband. and takes a picture of himself. smiles sadly. It is signed H. HOTEL ROOM. NARRATOR (V. ROYAL What about Sing-Sang? hundred. It says “Chapter Two. parted on the side.11. He is a tall black man. DAY. with grey hair and a moustache. INT. an exercise bicycle and a Xerox machine. the Landlord. He carefully folds a checkered handkerchief and tucks it into his breast pocket.” Royal’s suite at the Lindbergh Palace Hotel. MANAGER I’ve been instructed to refuse any further charges on your room account and to direct you in writing to please vacate the premises by the end of the month. There is a set of Encyclopedia Britannica. and a beard. He points it at his reflection. He wears a khaki suit. He takes out a little camera.O. There are shelves full of law books and hundreds of spy novels in stacks on the floor. There is a hand-lettered sign regarding trash and recycling taped to the wall behind him. Richie Tenenbaum looks at himself in the mirror in his stateroom on board an ocean liner. Royal lies on his stomach on a massage table getting a massage from a young Asian woman. Sherman. The manager of the hotel stands in front of Royal with a piece of paper in his hand. CONTINUED: (2) Henry Sherman stands in front of a mirrored wall in a vestibule of his building. fifty-six years old.) Royal had lived in the Lindbergh Palace Hotel for twenty-two years. He wears a doublebreasted navy blazer.
NARRATOR (V. RICHIE Read it back to me so far. The radio room on board the Cote d’Ivoire. . RICHIE New paragraph. DAY. RADIO OPERATOR Dear Eli. maps on the walls.) He was a prominent litigator until the mid-eighties.12. short-wave radios. and an oil tanker in the distance. I haven’t left my room in four days. and a crew of technicians in white uniforms. In light of your continuing failure to remit any form of payment. INT. CONTINUED: A letter typed on Lindbergh Palace Hotel stationary. and I think I’m in love with Margot. It MANAGER Can you pay her in cash? Royal shakes his head. RADIO ROOM. begins: Dear Mr. I’ve never been more lonely in my life. when he was disbarred and briefly imprisoned. we have no -CUT TO: The masseuse. He lights a cigarette. There are computer terminals. The radio operator finishes typing a message into a keyboard and looks up to Richie. NARRATOR (CONT’D) No one in his family had spoken to him in three years. She does not appear to understand English. Pietro. There is a mist outside the window. Tenenbaum. The radio operator looks to Richie.O. (CONTINUED) Richie nods. I’m in the middle of the ocean. CUT TO: Royal standing in the window looking out at the falling snow as Sing-Sang folds up the massage table behind him. The manager hesitates.
O. A telegram marked “Ship to Shore” is tucked into his coat pocket. The audience applauds NARRATOR (V.) Eli was an assistant professor of English Literature at Brooks College. INSERT: A copy of the Sporting Press magazine. CONTINUED: Richie takes a sip of a Bloody Mary. The stands behind him are filled with confused fans. amigos. On the cover.O. Vamanos. “Tenenbaum suffers midmatch nervous collapse in the semis at Windswept Fields.” CUT TO: Richie dictating to the radio operator.O. he whispered. NARRATOR (V. Richie. LIBRARY. He closes his book. INT. A caption across the page says “Meltdown!” And. and there are tears all over his face. RICHIE Your friend.) Richie had retired from professional tennis at twenty-six.) For the past year he had been traveling alone on an ocean liner called the Cote d’Ivoire and had seen both poles. uproariously. NARRATOR (V. His voice is quietly dramatic. And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight. The recent publication of his second novel -(CONTINUED) . His last match had been widely discussed in the media. End of letter.13. the Amazon and the Nile. Eli looks up. Richie signs a slip of paper and hands it to the radio operator. NIGHT. He wears no shoes and only one sock. in smaller letters. ELI The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sagethicket. Eli stands at a podium reading from a book to a crowded audience. and threw the busted leather flintscraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. there is a photograph of Richie standing at the baseline of a tennis court. five oceans. He wraps a scarf around his neck and goes out the door.
Old Custer. What this book presupposes is: (tentatively) maybe he didn’t? Eli shrugs and smiles. CONTINUED: INSERT: A copy of Eli Cash’s latest book. unexpected literary celebrity. Margot sits Indian-style on the counter painting her toenails red and talking on the telephone. do you genius? Someone gives Eli a book to sign. He says sadly: ELI (CONT’D) You didn’t even have to think about it. NARRATOR (V.) -. did you? INT. CUT TO: Eli standing near the circulation desk with a group of professors drinking cocktails. He scribbles his name on it and hands it back without looking. and she has a towel wrapped around her. everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn. (CONTINUED) . bloody knife clasped between his teeth and a yellow scalp hanging from his hand. BATHROOM. reviewer make the point of someone’s not a genius? I think I’m especially not a Isn’t that -Why would a saying mean. On the dust jacket there is an illustration of an Indian in warpaint with a long. ELI Well.O. Eli walks among the card catalogues surrounded by a crowd of admirers. He unfolds a newspaper clipping and looks at it while he waits. LOBBY. There are cotton balls between her toes. NIGHT.14. The bathroom of Margot’s and Raleigh’s apartment. He says suddenly into the receiver: ELI (CONT’D) Let me ask you something. NIGHT. INT.had earned him a sudden. CUT TO: Eli placing a call from a pay phone in the lobby.
Raleigh cracks open the door and looks inside. INSERT: A copy of Raleigh St. On the dust jacket. He is wearing red pajamas and a camel’s-hair bathrobe. Margot hangs up the telephone.) Margot was married to the writer and neurologist Raleigh St. there is a photograph of Raleigh -. my darling? (CONTINUED) . Raleigh has an English accent with a lisp.15. Margot does not look up. Clair. Clair’s latest book. Eli. NARRATOR (V. She waves the smoke away. CONTINUED: Hot water runs full blast in the bathtub. Margot? RALEIGH There is another knock.dressed in a Speedo. I just don’t use that word lightly. with goggles on top of his head -. CUT TO: Raleigh looking in the bathroom doorway. please? Margot puts out her cigarette. Uh-huh? MARGOT RALEIGH May I come in. A little black-andwhite television set is tuned in to the six o’clock news with the sound turned off.on a beach. She reaches over and unlocks the door with her foot. RALEIGH How are you. Margot takes a drag of a cigarette balanced at the edge of the sink. and sprays perfume into the air with an atomizer. There is knock on the door.O. He seems worried and intimidated. Margot whispers into the telephone: MARGOT Well. standing next to a Kasawa. MARGOT (CONT’D) I have to go. Margot answers without taking the cigarette out of her mouth. turns on a little electric fan. The Peculiar Neurodegenerative Inhabitants of the Kazawa Atoll. The Kasawa stares at him curiously.
O. Erotic Transference and Nakedness Tonight. RALEIGH You must eat something. INSERT: A remaindered copy of Desmond Winston Manchester XI’s LP record Dynamite Stick. . Margot blows on her toenails. NARRATOR (CONT’D) Nor were they aware of her first marriage and divorce to a recording artist in Jamaica. There are posters for several of Margot’s plays leaning against the walls. INT. Shall I make A small room with one wooden chair and a metal stand with an IBM electric typewriter on it. Raleigh hesitates. NARRATOR (V.) She was known for her extreme secrecy. CONTINUED: (2) MARGOT Fine. Margot opens a box of Q-Tips. He goes out suddenly and closes the door. DAY. The wooden one makes a clicking sound. your dinner? MARGOT No. NARRATOR (CONT’D) She kept a private studio in Mockingbird Heights under the name Helen Scott. For example. She looks to Raleigh. The titles include: Static Electricity. She is dressed in a string bikini. She takes it out and lights it. Margot taps her fingers on the counter. none of the Tenenbaums knew she was a smoker. which she had been since the age of twelve. thank you. thank you. STUDIO.16.) She had not completed a play in seven years. There is a cigarette hidden inside. On the sleeve there is a photograph of five Rastafarians standing in front of a metal shack.O. A younger Margot stands behind them partly hidden in the door frame. NARRATOR (V. Margot reaches over with her foot and locks it.
Dudley’s are strewn out randomly. with a highly acute sense of hearing. . How interesting. DUDLEY He shakes his head. Raleigh’s are arranged in the shape of a symmetrical cross. INT. bizarre. Raleigh is dressed in a turtleneck shirt and a corduroy blazer with suede patches on the elbows. Dudley. Done. dyslexia and color-blindness. moving his blocks around slowly.17. RALEIGH’S LABORATORY. RALEIGH (CONT’D) All right. (CONTINUED) Raleigh begins to laugh quietly. A cardboard screen stands in between the two sets of blocks. RALEIGH My goodness.) Raleigh’s next book was on the subject of a condition he called Heinsbergen’s Syndrome. Dudley sets to work. Raleigh and Dudley both have a set of building blocks in front of them. Raleigh’s basement. Raleigh whispers into his tape recorder: RALEIGH (CONT’D) Dudley suffers from a rare disorder combining the symptoms of amnesia. DAY. Raleigh says into his tape recorder: RALEIGH Seventeen October. NARRATOR (V. How CUT TO: Raleigh sitting in a corner. Third examination of Dudley Heinsbergen.O. Make yours look like mine. Dudley finishes arranging his blocks into the shape of a lopsided octagon with branches coming out of it. across from a fifteen-year-old boy in a plaid fishing hat with “Dudley” stitched across the front. He wears Henry Aaron-style flip-up sunglasses. The boy has an earphone in his ear. Raleigh lifts the cardboard screen and looks to Dudley. Raleigh sits at a table. Dudley stands on the far side of the room misspelling words on a chalkboard.
he holds a fishing lantern. CONTINUED: Dudley turns around suddenly and frowns. he holds a small tape recorder.) Chas’ wife. INT. There are two fire extinguishers and a large firstaid kit mounted on the wall. tipping over chairs and blasting the tape recorder. RALEIGH I’m afraid you are. He looks half asleep. HALLWAY. There is a turtle in a fish tank in the corner. Chas runs around the room. NIGHT. CHAS’ APARTMENT. and underwear. which blasts a recording of a police siren at full volume. It looks like a museum. Ari presses the button for the elevator and waits. Rachael.18. CHAS (CONT’D) Let’s go! NIGHT. In the other hand. His expression is blank. NARRATOR (V. The apartment is extremely large and spare. It is perfectly neat and organized like a military barracks. He presses play on the tape recorder. which begins blinking rapidly in a strobe effect. Ari’s and Uzi’s bedroom. He hesitates. Uzi sits up.O. Chas stands in the doorway. Chas and Uzi rush into the hallway. There are night lights in every socket. He screams: Uzi! INT. He turns on the lantern. In one hand. Ari and Uzi are sound asleep in their bunk beds. He looks to Uzi. am I? Raleigh looks to Dudley. RALEIGH (CONT’D) There is also evidence of -DUDLEY I’m not color-blind. He yells at the top of his lungs: CHAS Fire alarm! Ari! alive! Uzi! Let’s go! Look Ari bolts out of the top bunk. was killed in a plane crash the previous summer. Chas yells to Ari: Uzi has on a pajama top (CONTINUED) . He is shirtless and has on pajama bottoms. He puts on a pair of cleats and grabs the turtle out of the fish tank.
Uzi starts to cry. Chas turns off the lantern and presses stop on his stopwatch. The mother has on sunglasses with a scarf tied over her hair. Uzi is doing a karate stance. Chas’ siren can be heard in the distance outside the window. and she is laughing. NIGHT. His breathing is wheezy. STAIRWELL. We’re all dead. NIGHT. UZI What about Buckley? CHAS You forgot him.O. who was discovered in his cage several thousand yards from the crash site. Chas. Ari and Uzi. CONTINUED: CHAS No elevators! There’s a fire! INT.19. The wind blows her dress sideways. The lantern is still blinking. Ari and Uzi and their mother stand in front of a small plane outside a hangar. CUT TO: A dog’s cage upside down in the desert surrounded by scraps of metal and clothing. (CONTINUED) . SIDEWALK. Chas picks up Uzi. Ari and Uzi stand on the sidewalk. INT. The tape recorder has been turned off. were also on the flight and survived. INSERT: A slide projected onto a screen. There is a beagle looking out of the window of the plane. NIGHT. EXT. It stops. CHAS Four minutes and forty-eight seconds. looking up at the building.) Chas and their two sons. The boys wear camp shorts and no shirts. NARRATOR (V. as did their dog. The beagle is asleep next to the bathtub on a little bed with “Buckley” written on it. BATHROOM. Burned to a crisp. The street is deserted. A cloud of smoke billows in the distance. He looks very old and has white fur around his eyes. They race down the stairs.
CONTINUED: Chas shakes his head. CHAS It doesn’t matter. HENRY Apropos of my question re: I-40 slash I9 adjustments. INSERT: (CONTINUED) .20. UZI We left Buckley. The doorman watches uneasily from the lobby.) She taught bridge class twice a week with her friend and business manager. Chas sits down on the sidewalk. Uzi is still crying. INT.O. Henry Sherman. He says quietly: The walls of Etheline’s study are filled with pre-Columbian art and primitive tools and weapons. A human skeleton hangs on a stand in the corner. NARRATOR (V.) Over the last six months. He is working on her taxes. Chas rubs his eyes and his temples. There are shelves full of hundreds of bones and bits of pottery with little numbers painted on them. There are stacks of National Geographics on the floor. at him curiously. listening to a Walkman with headphones. He looks disoriented and weak. Etheline looks up NARRATOR (V. Etheline is at her desk studying an arrowhead while Henry sits next to her.O. Pagoda sits on a bench outside.) Etheline became an archaeologist and had overseen excavations for the Department of Housing and the Transit Authority. he had become increasingly concerned with their safety. DAY. His hair is now white. The back doors are open on to the garden. He seems very nervous.O. NARRATOR (V. peeling potatoes. ETHELINE’S STUDY. Ari and Uzi look scared. Henry stands up.
O.) Since her separation from her husband. Did you already know that? ETHELINE No. A CUT TO: Henry looking down at Etheline. I didn’t. CONTINUED: A copy of Henry Sherman’s book. He checks the elevation with a compass. (CONTINUED) . Accounting for Everything. Henry nods calmly. ETHELINE What do you mean? HENRY I mean for tax purposes. she had had many suitors -MONTAGE: A large man stands on a glacier in Antarctica with penguins behind him. HENRY (CONT’D) I love you. HENRY It would probably be advantageous for your marital status to be legally established as single.” It appears to have been published in the late sixties. NARRATOR (V. A title identifies him as Neville Smythe-Dorleac.21. caption at the top of the cover says “A Guide to Personal Finance. ETHELINE (pause) But I thought it was -Etheline? Yes? HENRY ETHELINE HENRY Will you marry me? Pagoda stops peeling the potatoes. in light of the circumstances. He wears a hooded fur coat and has ice frozen into his beard. He takes off one ear of his headphones. Etheline puts on her prescription sunglasses.
Etheline smiles slightly. The elevator stops. Etheline starts to say something. ROYAL Thanks. gray moustache and jetblack hair. please. He smokes a cigarette. CUT TO: Henry looking down at Etheline. surrounded by extras dressed as futuristic earthlings and aliens. perfectly round glasses on a settee in a room filled with avant-garde furniture and sculpture.but had not considered a single one until this moment. He has a strong. The elevator operator has a thin. TELEPHONE ROOM. INT. PAGODA Hello. Dusty. Royal rides down in the elevator at the Lindbergh Palace. Henry.22. NARRATOR (CONT’D) -. and Aristotle Onassis-style wrap-around sunglasses. DAY. He is Dusty. He has two bandaged shaving cuts. Tell Mr. A title identifies him as Franklin Benedict. is it? HENRY (pause) That’s true. (CONTINUED) . and a safety pin holds his glasses together. Pagoda frowns. She hesitates. He is dressed in a gray double-breasted Savile Row pinstripe suit. He has several sets of blueprints under his arm. A title identifies him as Yasuo Oshima. DAY. Pagoda places a call. A white-haired man sits in a director’s chair on a sound stage. INT. a dark pink shirt. She takes Henry’s hand. ETHELINE This isn’t really a tax issue. Royal this is the Pagoda. a red-and-pink-striped tie. I don’t know why I put it that way. ELEVATOR. ETHELINE Let me think about it. CONTINUED: (2) An Asian man in a tweed suit and large. weathered face and wears a safari jacket.
He shakes his head. The telephone rings. ROYAL I don’t like the sound of this one damn bit. Mr. Who is it? ROYAL BELLBOY A Mr. Tenenbaum. Royal points to a little wood-paneled telephone booth. A Royal and Pagoda stand alone in the middle of a field. DAY. Royal answers it. INSERT: (CONTINUED) . PAGODA The black man asks her to be his wife. BELLBOY There’s a call for you. CONTINUED: DUSTY You’re welcome. He The elevator doors open and Royal strides out quickly. Lord knows I’ve had my share of infidelities. (pause) And no goddamn two-bit chartered accountant’s going to change that. INT. misting rain falls. A bellboy appears. TELEPHONE BOOTH. ROYAL I’ll take it in there. Pagoda. I mean. Royal stares off into space. light. ROYAL (quietly) No shit? And what’d Ethel say? PAGODA She thinks about it. But she’s still my wife. crosses through a gigantic lobby.23. DAY. Pagoda. INT. LOBBY. DAY. CITY PARK. ROYAL What do you got? EXT.
The bridge players watch strangely as they pass. up the stairs. Etheline seems confused. INT. Etheline and Henry are among them.24. Pagoda carries the fish tank with the turtle in it. (CONTINUED) . Uzi is on the steps with a duffel bag over his shoulder and a stack of coloring books under his arm. Anwar and Pagoda come out of the hallway and cross through the living room. Chas? ETHELINE Chas stops in the doorway. Chas. Buckley has a cold and coughs often. boxes. Ari and a uniformed driver are unpacking suitcases. Most of them are in their fifties and sixties. There are twenty people at five card tables playing bridge. The doorbell rings. Pagoda. LIVING ROOM. boxing gloves and a computer. The driver is Anwar. Etheline hesitates. HALLWAY. Anwar and Buckley out of the room. toys. Chas looks back at them but keeps moving. Uzi. They look very distinguished. blankets. NIGHT. Buckley follows them. CONTINUED: Page 50 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Uzi.” INT. Ari and Uzi all wear red Adidas warm-ups. It says “Chapter Three. Chas. Pagoda frowns. clothes. Buckley is at his side. There is a silver BMW parked at the curb with three doors and the trunk open. struggling with all of their possessions. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What’s going on? CHAS We got locked out of our apartment. CHAS Give us a hand. He starts down the steps. Chas. ETHELINE Did you call a locksmith? CHAS (hesitates) Uh-huh. NIGHT. Pagoda comes into the hallway and opens the front door. Pagoda leads Ari. Ari.
either. HALLWAY. Did you pack your bags before you got locked out? Or how did you -CHAS It’s not safe over there. He shrugs. NIGHT.25. pretending not to notice how sad the boys look. Silence. ETHELINE But there’s no sprinklers here. Etheline looks to her guests. too. The bridge players watch them silently. we might have to do something about that. ETHELINE What are you talking about? CHAS The apartment. Chas walks around the room examining things. I have to get some new sprinklers and a back-up security system installed. please. (CONTINUED) . INT. They have dark circles under their eyes and seem exhausted. Chas looks up and studies the ceiling. It feels like we’re Chas chuckles as he turns on his old electric tie rack. CHAS Well. CUT TO: Two dalmation mice chewing on a plate of hors d'oeuvres on the window sill. She and Etheline closes the sliding door to the living room. CHAS Isn’t this great? camping. INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM. Etheline looks concerned. Chas stand alone in the hallway. He looks like a wreck. but acts incredibly cheerful. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) I don’t understand. NIGHT. Ari and Uzi sit silently on the bunk beds in Chas’ room. ETHELINE Excuse me for a moment.
ROYAL You mean like flopping around on the floor and everything? DOCTOR In some cases. Royal nods gravely. he comes back in.” Chas turns it around to face the wall. Chas goes out the door. DAY. CHAS (CONT’D) You know what? I’m going to sleep in here. there’s a number of possibilities. A moment later. and that way we can all be together. He kisses Ari and Uzi goodnight. DOCTOR’S OFFICE. Chas spreads out a blanket on the floor and lies down. INT. Severe nausea and dizziness are standard. surrounded by a cheering crowd.26. It is a tennis-shoe advertisement with a picture of Richie holding a trophy over his head. ROYAL What kind of side effects can be expected? DOCTOR Well. comes and lies down next to him. . CHAS (CONT’D) See you in the morning. A caption across the top says “The Baumer. A young doctor on a rolling stool takes Royal’s blood pressure as they talk. A certain percentage of patients may also experience seizure. Uzi Royal sits on the edge of an examination table with white butcher paper on it. He frowns. CONTINUED: ARI When are we going home? Chas sees something across the room. CHAS Who put that in here? There is a framed poster leading against the wall in the corner.
Raleigh knocks on the door. Raleigh looks embarrassed. RALEIGH You have a visitor. Etheline examines the television set. Etheline and Raleigh stand outside the bathroom in Margot and Raleigh’s apartment. Silence. Etheline sits on the edge of the tub with her coat in her lap. my darling. ETHELINE Raleigh says you’ve been spending six hours a day locked in here watching television and soaking in the tub. it can’t be very good for your eyes. A key slides from under the door to Etheline’s feet. She looks to Etheline. Etheline smooths back Margot’s wet hair. ETHELINE Well. MARGOT I tied it to the radiator. There is a length of red twine wrapped around it and knotted to a pipe. do you? Nor do I think it’s very intelligent to keep an electrical gadget on the edge of the bathtub. DAY. INT. Etheline has on an overcoat and gloves. Etheline looks to Raleigh. anyway. MARGOT (pause) I doubt that. DAY. HALLWAY. I don’t think that’s very healthy. Margot is in the bathtub watching Planet of the Apes on her little black-and-white television set. Margot turns off the television set with her foot.27. EXT. sweetie. Margot answers without opening the door: Who is it? MARGOT ETHELINE It’s me. (CONTINUED) . ETHELINE Well. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Chas came home. BATHROOM.
Etheline stands on the corner and raises her hand into the air. Raleigh sounds desperately unhappy. and I need a change.28. RALEIGH You don’t love me anymore. Margot comes out of the telephone booth. DAY. He watches Margot talking on the telephone. RALEIGH But why is this bloody necessary? MARGOT Because I’m in a rut. CONTINUED: MARGOT (pause) What do you mean? ETHELINE He and Ari and Uzi are going to stay with me for a little while. A gypsy cab pulls over. The front door of Margot and Raleigh’s apartment building opens. exactly. DUDLEY That taxi has a dent in it. Margot sets down her suitcases and goes into a telephone booth with graffiti spray-painted all over it. Etheline and Dudley walk behind them. Raleigh follows her. Raleigh waits uncomfortably outside the telephone booth. She closes the door and makes a call. Dudley points at the taxi. Hang on. But I think he’s been very depressed ever since -MARGOT (urgently) So am I. I don’t know. do you? (CONTINUED) . Margot comes out and goes down the steps with three suitcases and her TV. STREET. MARGOT (frowns) Why are they allowed to do that? ETHELINE (hesitates) Well. ETHELINE (pause) So are you what? EXT.
He is dressed in white briefs. Etheline looks at Raleigh sadly. beautiful. Eli looks out nervously and slowly emerges. CUT TO: Margot and Eli in Margot’s single bed with the sheets pulled over their heads. Margot is eating potato chips. She opens the door to the closet and turns on the light. She closes the door and locks it. Margot puts her suitcases into Dudley continues to point at it. INT. Raleigh has tears in his eyes. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. smoking a cigarette. I’d just love to see her. MARGOT What for? ELI (shrugs) I don’t know. Raleigh and Dudley watch the taxi drive away. (CONTINUED) . I can’t explain it right now. Margot goes into her room and sets her suitcases on the floor. DUDLEY Another dent here and another dent there. He whispers: ELI Hello. She whispers: Hello? MARGOT There is a rustle behind some hanging clothes. OK? Raleigh nods. the back seat of the taxi. ELI (CONT’D) Could we have dinner with your mother sometime? Margot frowns. Margot gets into the taxi. Dudley takes a bite of a graham cracker.29. NIGHT. CONTINUED: MARGOT I do. Raleigh looks crestfallen. MARGOT (gently) I’ll call you. and watching the news on her TV with the sound turned off. She gets into the taxi and closes the door. kind of. She looks at Eli strangely.
ROYAL You got a minute? Etheline looks startled. SIDEWALK. baby. ETHELINE What are you talking about? Royal stares at her blankly. but it’s too late. ETHELINE Stop following me. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What happened? (CONTINUED) . hold on. I want to spend some time with you and the children. Eli looks disappointed. Etheline comes out the front door of the Tenenbaum house and goes down the steps. you can’t have it. DAY. Eli. The next morning. ROYAL I want my family back. Etheline stops. Royal suddenly appears at her side.30. I’ll be dead in six weeks. He nods. ETHELINE Well. I’m sorry for Royal hesitates for a fraction of a second. dammit. I’m dying. ETHELINE Are you crazy? ROYAL Now. ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m sick as a dog. ROYAL I’m dying. ETHELINE What are you doing here? ROYAL I need a favor. EXT. She looks to Royal. you. CONTINUED: MARGOT I don’t think so. She keeps walking.
nervously. scared. says gently. A month. down. CONTINUED: Royal shrugs. ETHELINE What’s wrong with you? Ethel. He ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m not dying. time. Ethel. ROYAL (CONT’D) Hold on.31. suddenly worried. I want us to -She says furiously: Etheline slaps Royal hard in the face. ROYAL (CONTINUED) . I’m sorry. ETHELINE (CONT’D) I didn’t know. ROYAL (CONT’D) Maybe two. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Oh. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What’d they say? What’s the prognosis? Etheline begins to hyperventilate. Hold on. Let’s get -- Royal holds Etheline by the shoulders. Etheline looks stunned. Etheline looks as if she is going to faint. Royal looks around Royal seems Etheline cannot seem to catch her breath. He looks Royal tries to calm her ETHELINE (urgently) Where’s the doctor? ROYAL Wait a second. ROYAL Take it easy. Etheline stumbles a step and Royal catches her. my God. But I need some Etheline looks puzzled. He hesitates. trying to comfort her: Listen.
CONTINUED: (2) ETHELINE Go away! Etheline turns away and walks quickly across the street. 11 a. A telephone conversation. DAY. (CONTINUED) . Henry sits at a desk in his study. Each wears goggles and an orange life-jacket belted tightly. Ari talks on a pay phone next to an indoor pool. Etheline is in the telephone room on Archer Avenue. ARI You told us he was already dead.32. She looks back to Royal. She can see from the look on his face that now he is telling the truth. INT.m. ETHELINE Are you or aren’t you? ROYAL (pause) Dying? Yes. A sign on the wall says “Water Safety and Rescue Class. Baby.” Chas sits at the desk in his bedroom on Archer Avenue. She goes over to him in the middle of the intersection. HENRY Have you told your children? ETHELINE More or less. HENRY’S APARTMENT/ETHELINE’S TELEPHONE ROOM. There are ledger books and adding machines in front of him and glass statues of birds and animals behind him. UZI Who’s your father? CHAS His name’s Royal Tenenbaum. A second telephone conversation. HENRY And are they all right? ETHELINE Hard to say. Etheline stops. ROYAL I am dying. DAY. 375TH STREET Y/CHAS’ ROOM. INT. Uzi stands beside him.
33. CONTINUED: CHAS (hesitates) But now he’s really dying. INT. ELI’S TOWNHOUSE/MARGOT’S BATHROOM-DARKROOM. DAY.
A third telephone conversation. Eli sits on a couch in front of a painting of two men wearing ski masks riding a motorcycle chasing after a screaming girl in a bikini. He smokes a long, Moroccan-looking pipe. Margot talks on the telephone in her bathroom on Archer Avenue. There are three bottles of developing chemicals and a photographic enlarger next to the sink. ELI I’m very sorry, Margot. That’s OK. anyway. MARGOT We’re not actually related,
ELI That’s true. EXT. BOAT DECK. DAY.
The Cote d’Ivoire. Richie sits under a wool blanket in a chaise lounge reading a telegram with “Shore to Ship” printed across the top. He looks upset. A waiter stands next to him with a pen and a pad of paper in his hand. All of the other passengers on the deck are very elderly and have white hair. RICHIE I’d like to send a response, Alberto. Yes, sir. WAITER Go ahead. I’m
RICHIE Dear Mom, I received your message. coming home as soon as possible. (pause) Who do I see about that? The waiter shrugs. EXT. PIER 32. DAY.
The entrance to the passenger terminal for the Cote d’Ivoire. A sign across the glass says “Royal Arctic Line.” Richie stands on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets as bundled-up, white-haired passengers and baggage handlers run by around him. He has two small suitcases and a vinyl bag with a pouch on he side for a tennis racket. There is no racket in it. Two elderly men with white hair come over to him. (CONTINUED)
34. CONTINUED: ELDERLY MAN 1 Can we get a picture with you, Baumer? Richie nods. One of the elderly men gives his camera to a baggage handler, and they stand next to Richie. ELDERLY MAN 2 I saw you whip Vishniac in the finals at Glenchester. You were beautiful back then. Richie smiles briefly. picture. The baggage handler takes the
ELDERLY MAN 1 Thanks, Champ. The two elderly men walk away. A city bus stops at the corner. The door opens and Margot gets out. She smiles at Richie and waves. She wears a mink coat with a belt around it. She has on pink gloves. She walks across the sidewalk and stops ten feet in front of Richie as the bus drives away. They stand there smiling at each other. MARGOT Stand up straight and let me get a look at you. Richie stands up a little straighter and continues to look at Margot with the same smile. MARGOT (CONT’D) What’s so funny? Richie shrugs. MARGOT (CONT’D) Well, it’s nice to see you, too. Their smiles fade, and they both look cold and sad. Richie reaches out his hand. Margot goes over to him and puts her arms around him. EXT. TENENBAUM HOUSE. DAY.
Margot and Richie stand on the steps in front of the house. The door opens and Etheline and Pagoda come outside and hug Richie. Richie and Henry shake hands. Ari and Uzi come running out and hug Richie. NARRATOR (V.O.) That night, Etheline found all of her children living together under the same roof for the first time in seventeen years.
35. CONTINUED: Chas watches from his window on the third floor. Richie looks up and sees him. Richie waves tentatively. Chas waves back without smiling. EXT. ROOF. DAWN. opens feet, says and
Richie comes out on to the roof dressed in pajamas. He his falcon’s coop. He puts his hand under the falcon’s and the falcon steps on to his fist. The falcon’s hood Mordecai across the front. Richie pulls a leather cord lifts the hood off the falcon’s head. He strokes the falcon’s feathers and talks softly in its ear. NARRATOR (V.O.) The next morning Richie woke at dawn. He had decided birds should not be kept in cages, fed Mordecai three sardines, and set him free.
CUT TO: An hour later. Richie sits on a box on the roof eating a bowl of cereal and reading a book called Three Plays by Margot Tenenbaum. There is an empty tin of sardines at his feet. The door to the falcon’s coop is open, and the falcon is gone. INSERT: Page 76 of The Royal Tenenbaums. EXT. STREET. EVENING. It says “Chapter Four.”
Royal gets out of a gypsy cab in front of the Tenenbaum house. He is dressed in a white bathrobe, white pajamas and red bedroom slippers. He carries a cane, but walks across the sidewalk quickly and energetically. Pagoda waits for him at the top of the steps. hands. Silence. OK. ROYAL They shake
Pagoda opens the front door. INT. LIVING ROOM. EVENING.
Royal sits on a stool across from Richie and Margot on the couch. Chas stands at a table in the corner reading Richie’s Atlas of the World. Royal looks to Chas. Chas looks back at him but does not move. Royal looks back to Richie and Margot. ROYAL I’ve missed the hell out of you, my darlings. You know that, don’t you? (CONTINUED)
ROYAL RICHIE What’ve you got? ROYAL I’ve got a pretty bad case of cancer. and I aim to do it. Will you give me a chance? (CONTINUED) . RICHIE You don’t look so sick. MARGOT ROYAL (shrugs) I had a good run. ROYAL (CONT’D) Let me finish. The three of you and your mother are all I’ve got. I’m sorry. Not long. Dad.36. ROYAL So they tell me. Now. ROYAL (CONT’D) But let me get to the point here. Royal looks back to Richie and Margot. Thank you. A month? ROYAL CHAS A year? Chas does not look up ROYAL About six weeks. Chas laughs quietly. CONTINUED: MARGOT I hear you’re dying. and I love you more than anything. from his atlas. CHAS (yawning) How long are you going to last? Royal looks across the room at Chas. I’ve got six weeks to set things right with you.
Well. MARGOT I haven’t been there at all. too. you’re invited this time. I was ROYAL Well. CONTINUED: (2) CHAS No. ROYAL Oh. RICHIE (pause) I haven’t been out there since I was six. ROYAL Do you speak for everyone? CHAS I speak for myself. That’s right. So why don’t you let somebody else do some of the talking now? MARGOT What do you propose to do? ROYAL Well. too. she wasn’t your real grandmother. Anyway. RICHIE You know. ROYAL (pause) CHAS Who? My wife. I suppose. we (CONTINUED) . MARGOT He looks back to Royal. really. I can’t say. so I didn’t know you’d be interested. sweetie. never invited. But the first thing I’d like to do is take you to see your grandmother. Rachael’s buried there. isn’t it? can swing by her grave. Richie looks to Chas. ROYAL Well. Make up for lost time.37. at some point. Thanks. you’ve made your views known.
ROYAL (CONT’D) Don’t give me that guff. There is a clean square and a hook on the wall in the stairwell. LIVING ROOM. as if something has been removed. Royal says to Margot and Richie: ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll be right back.38. Chas? Chas stops. CONTINUED: (3) Chas slams the atlas shut and puts it back into the bookcase. ROYAL I’ll say goodnight to you now. ROYAL (CONT’D) Thank you. EVENING. ROYAL (CONT’D) May I see my grandsons? Why? CHAS ROYAL Because I’d like to finally meet them. Chas is already half-way to the second floor as Royal appears at the bottom of the steps. Royal stands in the living room with Richie and Margot. my sweet boy. Richie hugs Royal. ROYAL Where’s my javelina? NIGHT. Chas walks away up the stairs. CHAS I think we’ll pass. Royal frowns. ROYAL He looks down to Royal. Chas slaps it away and goes out of the room. He walks toward the door. verge of tears. children. Margot waves. Royal extends his hand as Chas walks by. INT. Royal looks to be on the . Chas scoffs at the idea and shakes his head. He yells toward the kitchen: Pagoda! INT. STAIRWAY.
They each carry a playbill for a play called That Rascal. sir. Hey. ROYAL Lay it on me. ETHELINE Don’t pay any attention to that man. down the steps. this is Henry Sherman. Royal and Pagoda stand outside the top of the front steps. Royal says quickly: ROYAL I’ll contact you in the next twelve hours and give you further instructions. Royal’s face darkens. the cab. ROYAL (CONT’D) Look at that old grizzly bear. EXT. Henry.39. what can I say? Henry looks uneasy. driver. Pagoda nods. (CONTINUED) . Henry leaves the door to the taxi open. DAY. A taxi stops in front of the house. Henry and Etheline get out of the taxi. man. TENENBAUM HOUSE. I’m dying. NIGHT. Royal licks his fingers and smooths back his hair. Margot and Eli walk together down a street with trash everywhere and abandoned cars and broken windows. Royal gets into the taxi and closes the door. Royal clamps his hand on Pagoda’s arm and lets out a slow whistle. STREET. reluctantly slaps hands with Royal and says: HENRY How do you do? ROYAL (shrugs) Ah. please. Ethel! Good evening. Henry Hold He bounds Royal puts out his hand for Henry to give him five. ETHELINE Royal. Goodnight all. EXT. ROYAL (CONT’D) Hello. ROYAL I’m just kidding.
MARGOT I’m listening. Eli? (CONTINUED) . Eli presses the buzzer to one of the apartments. ELI (CONT’D) How’s Richie? MARGOT (pause) I don’t know. A voice comes on the call box: Hello? VOICE ELI Sugar. She seems distracted. either. Hang on. Hey. VOICE Margot says blankly: The door buzzes open. ELI (CONT’D) You don’t give a shit. They stop in front of a partially demolished building. ELI That’s right. Margot nods. He says he’s in love with you. ELI Yeah. baby. Me. MARGOT What are we doing. it’s Eli. I don’t know how we’re supposed to take it. I can’t tell. He wrote me a letter. (points to a deli) Right there is where you used to go get jacked off.40. They walk in silence for a minute. CONTINUED: ELI Right there is where I used to go get jacked off. MARGOT (frowns) What are you talking about? ELI (shrugs) That’s what he said.
The archaeologists crouch around Etheline while she compares a bit of soil on the end of a trowel with a color chart in a handbook. CONTINUED: (2) ELI I just got to pick something up. Margot stands alone on the street. Henry appears in the background. Eli goes inside.41. Etheline says to the three archaeologists: ETHELINE (CONT’D) These were probably slaves. put that artifact back where you found it. looks up at the destroyed building. by the way. ground. climbing down a ladder on the far side of the pit. sketching. Etheline and the three archaeologists turn around and see them. EXT. Don’t repeat that. ETHELINE Don’t be silly. There are workers digging. sir. She A large network of pits between two brownstone townhouses. HENRY I’m sorry to interrupt your work. He wears a gray wool suit and tie. and shaking dirt through metal hand-screens. Now I’ll just remove the loose soil and note the decomposition levels. (CONTINUED) . GRADUATE STUDENT (CONT’D) Please. About Richie. DAY. She is dressed entirely in denim except for a scarf over her hair. Henry looks embarrassed. ETHELINE Good. ARCHAEOLOGICAL EXCAVATION. He picks up a pebble off the ground and looks at it. surveying. He puts the pebble back on the CUT TO: Etheline and Henry walking through a trench together. Before the arrival of the -GRADUATE STUDENT What are you doing? A graduate student with a shovel is looking at Henry and frowning. It was told in confidence. She has on sunglasses and boots. Etheline dusts off a partially unearthed skeleton. The three archaeologists are all scruffy young men with beards.
42. CONTINUED: HENRY I just wanted to apologize for the other day. When I proposed to you. Why? ETHELINE I thought it was very sweet.
HENRY Look. I know I’m not as accomplished as some of the men you’ve been involved with. Franklin Benedict and General Cartwright and your ex-husband and -ETHELINE That’s ridiculous. HENRY But I feel I have just as much to offer as any of them. I know I went about it backwards, but -ETHELINE Henry, I have no interest in Frank Benedict or Doug Cartwright. I never did. Henry falls into a pit and disappears from view. does not notice this and continues walking. ETHELINE (CONT’D) And as far as Royal is concerned, he’s the most -Etheline stops. She looks around. She sees Henry climbing up a ladder, out of the pit. He is covered with dirt and has a small twig in his hair. She rushes over to him. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Are you all right? Henry sighs. He brushes some dirt off his jacket. Etheline
HENRY I’m fine. Anyway, let me know when you make up your mind. Henry starts to walk away. Etheline grabs his sleeve.
ETHELINE Wait a second, Henry. Henry stops. He looks to Etheline. kisses it. He looks surprised. I’m sorry. She takes his hand and
ETHELINE (CONT’D) I’m very nervous. (CONTINUED)
43. CONTINUED: (2) Etheline pulls the twig out of Henry’s hair. That’s OK. HENRY Thank you. Why are you --
ETHELINE To tell you the truth, I haven’t slept with a man in eighteen years. Silence. Henry nods. He puts his hand on Etheline’s cheek. DAY.
INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM.
Margot lies in her bed behind a mosquito net watching a downhill skiing competition on her portable television. Etheline stands in the doorway and says calmly: ETHELINE I think I’m falling for Henry. Margot looks to Etheline. netting. MARGOT That’s amazing. ETHELINE What do you think of him? MARGOT (excited) I think he’s gorgeous. ETHELINE I’ll tell you a secret. marry him. He asked me to She pulls open the mosquito
MARGOT (dreamily) I’m going to have a father. ETHELINE (hesitates) Well, I haven’t accepted yet. Besides, you already have a father, sweetheart. MARGOT Not really. Plus, now he’s dying. CUT TO: The hallway outside Margot’s room. dark, watching from the stairs. Pagoda is poised in the
EXT. 375TH STREET Y ROOFTOP.
A rooftop park with a chain-link fence around it. There are several fighters lifting weights and jumping rope. Ari does chin-ups from a jungle gym. Uzi does sit-ups on a mat. Buckley lays on the cement beside them. Someone whistles from behind the fence. Ari and Uzi look. It is Royal. He is inside a telephone booth with the door partly open, holding the receiver to his ear. He signals for Ari and Uzi to come over. Ari frowns. He looks across the courtyard to Anwar, sitting on a bench, reading a BMW owner’s manual. Royal ducks back into the telephone booth and holds the receiver to his ear. Anwar does not look up. Ari slides down a fire-station-type pole. He and Uzi cautiously go over to the fence with Buckley. Royal hangs up the receiver and comes out of the telephone booth. ROYAL That’s a hell of an old hound dog you got there. What’s he go by? Buckley. ARI
ROYAL (pointing at Buckley) Buckley. Sit. Buckley sits. Royal looks impressed. He turns to Ari.
ROYAL (CONT’D) You know who I am? Ari shakes his head. I’m Royal. ROYAL (CONT’D) You heard of me? His expression becomes
Ari nods. Royal looks pleased. serious again.
ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman. ARI (pause) Thank you. ROYAL Which one are you?
ROYAL (CONT’D) Kind of a fuck-you to the old man. CONTINUED: ARI Ari. ROYAL (CONT’D) How’s your daddy? Fine. Ari and Uzi look confused. ARI ROYAL You think so? How often’s he got you working out? ARI Sixteen times a week. I guess. by the way? You don’t have to say anything. Royal sighs.45. ROYAL No. Tell him you want to meet me. ROYAL (looks to Uzi) Uzi. I’m your granddad. but we’re going to have to pull some strings to make that happen. He stares off into space. (pause) Here’s what you tell him. UZI ROYAL I’m sorry we haven’t gotten to know each other. UZI But we just met. ROYAL (shakes his head) Do me a favor. ROYAL (CONT’D) Look. I want us to have a relationship.. Royal looks back to Ari and Uzi. I don’t get invited around much. we didn’t.. . What do you think about that. Hello.
INT. CEMETERY. Silence. We got another body buried out here.46. EXT. wasn’t she? CHAS I wouldn’t know. that’s right. Royal takes half of the white flowers off his mother’s grave and hands them to Chas. wouldn’t she? Chas turns his chair around and looks to Ari and Uzi. Ari and Uzi are both dressed in black Adidas warm-ups. and the city is across the river. You know him? Yeah. The trees are bare. ROYAL (CONT’D) What do you think of this big old black buck moving in up there? RICHIE (pause) Who? ROYAL Henry Sherman. He is behind his desk with his back turned to them. DAY.” Epitaph: “The Salt of the places a bouquet of white flowers at the There are tears in his eyes. A technician tinkers with a large Xerox machine on the other side of the room. CHAS’ BEDROOM. Chas: ROYAL She was a tough old broad. Chas walks away. Excuse me. DAY. RICHIE ROYAL Is he worth a damn? (CONTINUED) . He sighs. Silence. A small cemetery next to an electrical power plant. Ari and Uzi stand together dressed in black Adidas warm-ups. Royal’s mother’s gravestone reads “Helen (1909-1962). He says to O’Reilly Tenenbaum Earth. Chas.” Royal foot of the grave. Hang on. ARI I bet Mom would’ve wanted us to meet him before he died. Another technician rolls in a crate on a dolly. Chas wears his red one. Ari and Uzi sit across from Chas. ROYAL Oh. Royal and Richie stand beside them. Take some of these.
FARM. FATHER Now just set one of them hickory trunks right up on top there.” Uzi stares at Margot’s missing finger. There are a mother and father and five very young children. And I went to find my real family when I was fourteen. Did you know that? Uzi shakes his head. UZI How’d it get chopped off by -Uzi. MARGOT It got chopped off by an axe. I am. CONTINUED: RICHIE I believe so. and she wears a black LaCoste dress. which reads “Rachael Evans Tenenbaum (19652000). DAY. Margot looks to the father as if he is an idiot. MARGOT (CONT’D) Well.47. ARI MARGOT It’s OK. The father stares at Margot’s bloody hand. Everyone looks stunned. I’ll tell you. EXT. A fourteen-year-old Margot stands behind a barn with a family of blond farmers. and black nail polish. Uzi and Margot standing in front of Rachael’s gravestone. sister Maggie. Royal nods. Margot sets a log sideways on top of a wood pile. Shh. Margot’s hair is dyed black. black eyeliner. They live in Indiana. UZI What happened to your finger? Ari looks quickly to Uzi. She reaches to adjust the log slightly just as the father swings an axe and chops the log in half. CUT TO: (CONTINUED) . CUT TO: Ari. I’m adopted.
ROYAL I had a lot riding on that match. RICHIE (shrugs) Probably. Financially and personally. CONTINUED: Margot. Father of Nine Children. CUT TO: Royal and Richie walking together among the gravestones. INSERT: (CONTINUED) . Silence. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s a shame. Royal says wistfully: ROYAL (CONT’D) I wish it were mine. you know. Richie nods. Baumer? RICHIE (pause) I don’t know.48. ROYAL (CONT’D) Why’d you choke out there that day. isn’t it? What? RICHIE ROYAL You probably had another good two to three years of competitive play in you. Dad.” ROYAL That’s a hell of a damn grave. An inscription says: “Veteran of Two Wars. Richie nods. ARI Did you try to sew it back on? MARGOT (shakes her head) Couldn’t find it. Ari and Uzi standing together. Drowned in the Caspian Sea. CUT TO: Richie and Royal looking at an impressive monument in the middle of the cemetery.
CUT TO: Royal and Richie standing together. ANNOUNCER (V.O. Royal stands up and walks towards the exit. Gandhi serves. didn’t I? (CONTINUED) . and her new husband. There’s obviously something wrong with him. and Richie attempts to play it by throwing his racket at the ball. Raleigh St. Tex? Margot and Raleigh. Jim. ROYAL I kind of disappeared after that. He looks to Royal in a lonely seat up in the nosebleed section. Richie is playing an Indian player dressed all in white. Richie is shown preparing to serve with tears all over his face. He’s taken off his shoes and one of his socks. holding hands. ANNOUNCER (V.O. and . What’s he feeling right now. It is briefly revealed that he is wearing no shoes and only one sock. Jim. He looks into the stands. Richie stares at Margot and Raleigh. Margot. TEX HAYWARD (V. He’s playing the worst tennis of his life. Clair. Tex Hayward? TEX HAYWARD (V. underhand. They were just married yesterday. With a bizarre swing.) That’s his sister. Gandhi nails his return.49. He shakes his head and talks to himself. barely tossing the ball into the air.O. He hesitates. with Rachael. Richie hits his return directly off the court and deep into the stands.O. I think he’s crying.actually. Ari and Uzi.) Who’s he looking at in the friends’ box.) That’s seventy-two unforced errors for Richie Tenenbaum. CONTINUED: (2) A television set tuned in to network coverage of a tennis match on grass courts. He looks to Chas. watch from their seats in a courtside box. He looks to Etheline.) I don’t know. Richie serves suddenly. They look very concerned. A title identifies him as Sanjay Gandhi.
dammit -- (CONTINUED) . Chas stands beside him. do I? INT.50. It moves slightly. Twice. Now. ROYAL You still got that little BB in your hand. your honor. Royal nods. Tenenbaum to withdraw these funds without your written authorization? ROYAL Objection. JUDGE And how was it possible for Mr. I know you’re not very good with disappointment. Were we? Chas does not respond. typing. Chassie? Chas looks to Royal. DAY. you sued me. He kicks a pebble on the ground. wasn’t it? No. CUT TO: Royal scraping some dirt off of Rachael’s gravestone with his foot. Royal says quietly: ROYAL It was the object of the game. A stenographer sits at a metal stand. A lawyer in a robe sits behind his desk. CONTINUED: (3) RICHIE (shrugs) Yeah. But I don’t hold it against you. And got me disbarred. CHAS We were on the same team. He holds up his hand and shows Royal a little round bump between two knuckles. ROYAL (CONT’D) Well. Chas and Royal and two attorneys sit across from him. but I understood. Royal taps it with his finger. ROYAL Royal sighs. CHAS Why’d you shoot me? Silence. JUDGE’S CHAMBERS.
Uzi looks to Royal. Call me Pappy. Royal looks guilty. Minimum security. Don’t CHAS Because I started the corporation when I was a minor. I got jacked by the IRS. so my father was the primary signatory on most of my accounts. CHAS (CONT’D) He also stole bonds out of my safety deposit box when I was fourteen. CUT TO: Royal and Chas surrounded with Ari and Uzi. (CONTINUED) . Royal. Should we split? Yes. The judge looks to Royal. UZI Were you in prison? ROYAL Kind of. ARI ROYAL I’m kidding. Chas turns and walks away. ROYAL You think you could start forgiving me? CHAS Why should I? ROYAL Because you’re hurting me. ARI Royal yells across the cemetery to Richie and Margot. Chas’ attorney whispers something into his ear. Tenenbaum. object. ARI ROYAL Call me Mr. sir. CONTINUED: ROYAL’S LAWYER This isn’t a courtroom.51. OK. OK.
Margot picks up the pack of cigarettes and puts it back in her pocket. RICHIE Well. OK. MARGOT By the way.52.Anyway. MARGOT Thanks. Come on! A maintenance man with a shovel in his hand yells from across the cemetery: MAINTENANCE MAN Hey. and you’re having some problems. Silence. MARGOT Those aren’t mine. RICHIE Well. OK? I like Raleigh very much. A pack of cigarettes falls out of Margot’s pocket on to the ground. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL Let’s shag ass! CUT TO: Margot and Richie walking toward the cemetery gates. let me know. RICHIE How are you and Raleigh getting along? You think you’re going to get back together? MARGOT (pause) I don’t know. but -. they just fell out of your pocket. RICHIE You dropped some cigarettes. He hesitates. maybe I can help. I heard about that letter you sent to Eli. Baumer! All right! Richie smiles and waves to the maintenance man. . They stop walking and look at it. Richie starts to say something. I know he’s a lot older than you are. if you need someone to talk to.
Classical music plays quietly on the record player. Eli’s wife. I did. She is barefoot. Why would she have repeated that. . Richie stands on the top step. Sabrina. INT. DAY. I’m sorry. my Lord. She is very beautiful and wears spectacles and a white sari. It is furnished like a house in the English countryside. (CONTINUED) Sabrina does not look up. They smile sadly at each other. I would ask you the same question. ELI (CONT’D) Yes. is painting in her studio. that was meant to be just between you and me. Eli walks into the vestibule smoking a joint which he keeps in his mouth at all times like a cigarette. INT. Richie and Eli walk into the next room. STUDIO. Sabrina? ELI She seems irritated.53. ELI (pause) Rightly so. with antiques and potted flowers and old rugs. ELI I know. RICHIE Did you tell Margot about that letter I wrote you? ELI (hesitates) Why? Did she mention it? Richie does not respond. ELI Oh. He opens the front door. RICHIE Eli. I wonder? RICHIE Well. ELI CASH’S TOWNHOUSE. Look at you. CUT TO: Richie and Eli walking into the front room of the house. DAY. Eli embraces Richie.
They are both drinking wine. except where she wore a bikini. There is a large zip-lock bag of marijuana on the table. Cinnamon. teenaged girl standing on the table. ELI Stetson? Say hello to Uncle There are two children in the corner. She has a cast in a sling on her arm. RICHIE How’d she break her arm? ELI (sadly) I fell down the stairs with her. ELI What’d you say? (CONTINUED) . She is only mildly surprised. She is painting a set of teacups. INT. The children do not respond to Eli. Stetson is six. Charlotte is five. Cinnamon. She SABRINA Hello. molding a hunk of clay. has an English accent. DAY. as he is in the process of relighting his joint. She is Sabrina’s model. Sabrina looks to Richie. They are both blond and fair. She has a deep tan.54. He notices a nude. Eli does not appear to notice this. Silence. Richie looks disturbed. ELI’S STUDY. CONTINUED: SABRINA What? ELI Look what I found on the doorstep. Cinnamon looks at Eli coldly. Sabrina hugs and kisses Richie. Eli sits on a couch across from Richie. Hello. He works at a spinning potter’s wheel. ELI (CONT’D) That’s Cinnamon. There is a large. Charlotte? Richie. frightening painting on the wall of five men wearing African masks and sitting on dirtbikes. darling.
for some reason. But I did find it odd when you said you were in love with her. you know. RICHIE (quickly) Adopted. Richie reflects on this for a minute. INSERT: (CONTINUED) . Richie. actually. Margot is. I’ve been spaced out all day. RICHIE Did you say you’re on mescaline? ELI (nods) I did. ELI When? Right now? (pause) I’m sorry. Don’t listen to me. Very much so. (barely audible) I’m on mescaline. Eli pours himself another glass of wine. RICHIE How often do you -ELI I’m worried about you. RICHIE (pause) Why? ELI Well. (pause) She’s married. CONTINUED: RICHIE (pause) ELI Hm? What? RICHIE I didn’t say anything. indeed.55. RICHIE ELI And she’s your sister. Yeah.
appears at Royal’s side. The manager walks away. DAY. DAY. MANAGER Would you like to -- ROYAL Where am I supposed to go? You’re turning me into a goddamn hobo. ROYAL (shaking his head) Damn you. suitcases and boxes are stacked and piled on four carts next to the front desk. I’m sorry. A large number of trunks. Dusty. Dusty. Royal says suddenly: ROYAL Where’re my encyclopedias? MANAGER They’ve been placed in storage.” The side entrance of the hotel. CONTINUED: (2) Page 112 of The Royal Tenenbaums. the elevator operator. sir. MANAGER Hello. This is humiliating. INT. LOBBY. A bellboy rolls a fifth cart next to the others. You’re taking my encyclopedias. Royal goes in through It says “Chapter Five. ROYAL You son of a bitch. revolving doors. EXT. (CONTINUED) . MANAGER I’d be happy to make a reservation for you at another hotel. The manager and his assistant come over and watch Royal study his possessions.56. Royal comes into the lobby and freezes. ROYAL Hello. Frederick? MANAGER The manager looks to the bellboy. LINDBERGH PALACE HOTEL. The bellboy begins to roll one of the carts across the lobby. There are also several dozen hanging garments on a rack with wheels on it.
washed-up Henry puts his hand gently on Chas’ arm. MANAGER DAY. CHAS Are you out of your mind? RICHIE (sincerely) No. Ari and Uzi sit at the table eating dessert. poppa’s boy. NIGHT. CONTINUED: ROYAL Spot me a quarter. Richie? INT. I’m not. TELEPHONE BOOTH. RICHIE I think he’s very lonely. RICHIE And he agreed that -- CHAS I’m sorry.57. and maybe lonelier than he even realizes. Maybe I’m a little confused. DINING ROOM. will you? Of course. Etheline. ROYAL It’s your dad. INT. Margot. Anyway. (CONTINUED) . RICHIE CHAS You poor sucker. You poor. Lonelier than he lets on. Richie. Henry. ETHELINE Have you spoken to him about this? Briefly. Chas. I think he’d be much more comfortable here than -CHAS Who gives a shit? I do. What are you suggesting? RICHIE That he come here and stay in my room. Royal places a call from the lobby.
All right. Mr. that’s OK. yes. Dad. ETHELINE You’ve known him for ten years. Mr. Sherman. (CONTINUED) . ARI (to Richie) Where are you going to sleep? RICHIE I’ll just camp out upstairs. CHAS Don’t get in the middle of this. Why? CHAS I don’t know him that well. call me Henry. I’ve got an old Scout cot and a couple of army blankets. Chas jerks his arm away. UZI We brought an extra sleeping bag you can use. Sherman. This is a family matter. CONTINUED: HENRY Let’s not get out of hand. Who? UZI Pappy? We like him. ETHELINE Call him Henry. HENRY Please. Sherman. CHAS As your accountant. RICHIE Oh. CHAS I prefer Mr. CHAS ARI We don’t mind. MARGOT Don’t talk to him like that. UZI You want to borrow our electric -Uzi.58.
There are several monitors and machines breathing and humming. He rolls the IV stand beside him.59. if Mom says it’s OK. All right. things. Where’s my suitcase? Royal’s knee gives out. surgical scrubs. CHAS It’s not your decision. Royal struggles to his feet. CONTINUED: (2) Chas looks shocked and then revolted. Chas stands in the doorway. He has an IV in his arm and a tube in his nose. which he takes between his teeth. NIGHT. Silence. Royal sits up on the edge of the bed. now. CHAS ROYAL Let me just collect my He is dressed in pink Richie is behind him. He staggers a step. There are numerous bottles of pills and medicines on the night stand. ROYAL (CONT’D) Let’s see. Richie? Richie hands Royal his cane. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. INT. ROYAL (CONT’D) Would you mind handing me my cane. he’s already up there. Dad? RICHIE (CONTINUED) . RICHIE Well. Royal lies on an electric hospital bed. RICHIE (CONT’D) I think he’s asleep. because of the medication he’s on. Richie’s room has been converted into a makeshift hospital room. He collapses on to the floor. But I guess you can wake him up and throw him out. goddammit. He produces a wooden spoon. Get out. He grips the back of a chair and looks to Richie with a surprised expression. ETHELINE Nor is it yours. Pagoda has on a surgical mask and scrubs.
NIGHT. ROYAL Call Dr. INT. DUSTY His condition is stable. Richie runs to the night stand and pops open a bottle of pills. my goodness! Pagoda. Royal is back in bed. ROYAL Fuck do you care? Richie gives Royal a pill with a glass of water.60. Dusty’s beeper goes off. Dusty is dressed in a white lab coat and elevatoroperator pants with a red stripe down the side. comes to the door. The attack was just a side-effect. Richie yells out the door: Mom! RICHIE (CONT’D) ROYAL Grab me a Nembutal. . Chas frowns. CUT TO: Forty-five minutes later. the elevator operator from the Lindbergh Palace. He is being examined by Dusty. INSERT: Dusty’s beeper has a digital message on it: “Smitty worked a double yesterday. CONTINUED: Richie and Pagoda rush over and kneel on the floor beside Royal. I recommend that you push fluids and continue the stomach cancer medication. Can you sub for him tonight?” CUT TO: (CONTINUED) He looks at it. HALLWAY. McClure. ETHELINE Oh. son. CHAS Are you OK? Royal takes the spoon out of his mouth. He checks Royal’s pulse while everyone watches. Etheline Dusty speaks with the Tenenbaums in the hallway outside Richie’s bedroom. Chas looks down at Royal.
RICHIE’S BEDROOM. OK? OK. Now. ETHELINE ROYAL I never did stop loving you. NIGHT. CHAS Can we move him? DUSTY Absolutely not. (CONTINUED) . Do you believe that? ETHELINE Not really. Etheline nods. RICHIE Is he going to be all right? DUSTY That depends. I have another call to make. Is he a fighter? Yeah. Pagoda comes in and hands Etheline sits next to Royal’s bed. Royal a small brown paper sack. CONTINUED: Dusty pushing a button on his beeper. for when the time comes. including my epitaph.61. ROYAL Pagoda is in possession of a parcel that contains my will and some instructions regarding the funeral. by the way. RICHIE DUSTY (solemnly) Then that’s the best we’ve got. CHAS For how long? DUSTY We’ll have to wait and see. ROYAL (CONT’D) Proof-read it for me before they carve it on the headstone. INT. if you’ll excuse me.
the top floor of the house. Chas appears in the doorway. He walks away. The ballroom on and tables with Near the center tent. BALLROOM. Royal says in a quiet. He unwraps it and takes a bite. Lights out.62. CHAS 11:30. He hesitates. ETHELINE (pause) Thanks. Royal raises an eyebrow. m’boy. Chas hesitates. Etheline shakes her head and goes out of the room. Silence. Royal lies in bed. The room tent. reading a spy novel. ROYAL I was going to read for a little bit. Them’s the rules. CHAS Lights out. old man. Henry is standing in the doorway. Chas turns out the light. stunning. NIGHT. That dress is ROYAL I’m in the middle of a sentence. Chas. CONTINUED: ROYAL You look terrific. drinking a milkshake. CUT TO: An hour later. A dalmation mouse eats some crumbs off the floor. strangely upbeat voice in the darkness: ROYAL Goodnight. Royal opens the paper sack and withdraws a cheeseburger wrapped in aluminum foil. of the room. CHAS Have to finish it up in the morning. there is a yellow nylon pupis dark except for a lamp glowing inside the . INT. He closes the door. Sorry. There are chairs sheets over them lined up along the walls.
There is a photograph of the Tenenbaum family taped to the nylon wall. Eli is climbing out a window on the second floor. Royal throws his cigarette out the window. CHAS No. (pause) You really hate me. There is a small table with a stack of books and some of Richie’s Matchbox cars and tennis trophies on it. CHAS (gritting his teeth) Stop saying that. Richie lies on the cot reading Three Plays by Margot Tenenbaum. CHAS Looks like you and Dad are back together again. You’re my brother. Pagoda sits next to him drinking a cup of coffee. Chas. RICHIE I don’t want to hurt you. huh? RICHIE (pause) He’s your dad. Chas. He frowns. EXT. don’t you? RICHIE (puzzled) No. it’s not worth it. whatever it is. Richie looks up. I don’t. Chas comes into the tent. too. But believe me. Royal sits on the window sill smoking a cigarette. He looks down at the street. CHAS Well. INT. TENT. ROYAL What’s that jackass doing here? (CONTINUED) . There is a Boy Scout sleeping bag on an air mattress on a cot inside the tent. he’s not. DAY. The next morning. I know what you and the boys have been through. Chas looks disturbed by this. NIGHT. I don’t know what you think you’re going to get out of this. startled. I love you.63. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. and I love you.
Margot looks at it. RALEIGH How long do you intend to stay here? MARGOT I don’t know.” There is a photograph of Eli in the desert holding a dead rattlesnake by the tail in each hand. INSERT: An article on Eli in the Sunday magazine section. Margot is reading Henry’s book. EXT. Raleigh is standing in the window. Their eyes meet. CONTINUED: Pagoda looks down at Eli. He sees Royal’s cigarette burning on the ground. Just in case you missed it. MARGOT (incredulous) What for? ETHELINE I think he just likes the encouragement. Royal yells: ROYAL (CONT’D) I know you. Eli. MARGOT (frowns) That’s ridiculous. Love. Eli drops to the sidewalk. Accounting for Everything. (CONTINUED) . Margot and Etheline look up. Tenenbaum. He looks up to Royal. The backyard.” CUT TO: Margot and Etheline sitting together in Etheline’s study. He used to send me his grades in college.64. There is a rap on the glass. MARGOT Did Eli send you that? ETHELINE (nods) He always sends me his clippings. DAY. He runs away. GARDEN. Margot and Raleigh sit at a metal table He smiles defiantly. He steps on it. A note stapled to the top says: “Dear Mrs. asshole! Eli hesitates. He looks miserable. drinking tea. The headline says “Where the Wild Things Are. He’s done it for years. Etheline is reading the article on Eli.
Margot walks toward her room. HALLWAY. You don’t ROYAL I’ve met him. CONTINUED: RALEIGH Are you ever coming home? MARGOT (pause) Maybe not. MARGOT What are you talking about? even know him. please. Royal steps on to the landing (CONTINUED) . Raleigh stands up and walks away. ROYAL I don’t like the way you’re treating Raleigh. at the top of the stairs. And I don’t think he deserves -MARGOT Stay out of it. Royal watches down the stairwell as Margot comes up. But -RALEIGH You’re joking. He knocks on the railing. Silence. MARGOT But -- RALEIGH I want to die. INT. MARGOT Raleigh. RALEIGH Have you met someone else? MARGOT (pause) I couldn’t begin to even think about knowing how to answer that question. Raleigh sits up suddenly. Raleigh crumples into a ball on the ground and stays there. Margot puts her hand on his back. No.65. DAY. For God’s sake. She looks up at him.
anyway. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s not right. that’s what they used to say. You used to be a genius. Raleigh. and perhaps you understand her better than anyone else. RALEIGH Nevertheless. They look at each other for a long minute. I don’t know where else to turn. Silence. ROOF. Will you advise me? RICHIE I don’t know. EXT. I know you’re terribly close to Margot. What do you want to do? (CONTINUED) . Margot turns to Royal.66. ROYAL (hesitates) Well. She says in a quiet voice: MARGOT No. Margot goes into her room and closes the door. RALEIGH I believe she’s having an affair. Margot stops. I didn’t. RALEIGH Richard. Richie comes out of the coop and goes over to RALEIGH (CONT’D) I’m utterly devastated. She stands still with her back to Royal. may I confide in you? RICHIE (pause) OK. CONTINUED: ROYAL You’re two-timing him with that bloodsucker Eli Cash. RICHIE I doubt it. Raleigh stands at the edge of the roof looking down to the ground while Richie cleans the empty falcon’s coop. dammit. DAY.
I thought we might -Richie punches his hand through the attic window. CHAS What do you need? ROYAL (hesitates) Nothing. Three secretaries make copies and take messages. CHAS’ BEDROOM. four telephones. Raleigh looks shocked. no. Chas is on the telephone. Ari and Uzi sit working with a calculator and a ledger pad at a small desk in the corner. He kicks it. perhaps -RICHIE Find the guy and get him? RALEIGH (pause) Well. Etheline sits at her desk writing numbers on little bits of pottery and recording it in a notebook. looking in the window. Royal says to them: ROYAL Let’s go down to Little Tokyo and get some firecrackers. There are five computers. Chas covers the receiver with his hand. He stares at Richie’s bloody hand. DAY. RICHIE Who do you think it might be? RALEIGH (hesitates) I don’t know. the Xerox machine and a television and VCR on a cart. I thought. DAY. You got them crunching numbers for you. (CONTINUED) . A messenger waits for him to sign a document.67. huh? CHAS Please. at the moment. INT. Royal comes down the hallway and looks in the doorway to Chas’ room. ETHELINE’S STUDY. Royal stands in the garden. don’t come in this room. INT. His IV bag hangs on a rolling stand beside him. CONTINUED: RALEIGH Well.
I’m talking about taking it out and chopping it up. Ethel. Royal pushes a button to talk. ETHELINE He has his reasons. ROYAL I’m not talking about dance lessons. But you can’t raise boys to be scared of life. Ari and Uzi ride horses in the park. Ari and Uzi race go-carts up and down loading ramps and in between fork-lifts in a large warehouse. you don’t.O. CONTINUED: ROYAL Chassie’s got those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits.68. ROYAL I know it. You got to brew some recklessness into them. Silence. I’m talking about putting a brick through the other guy’s windshield.O.) Royal.) What do you mean? MONTAGE: (Royal. (CONTINUED) . Ari says over the intercom: ARI (V. ROYAL (pause) No. Ari and Uzi laugh continuously throughout the following montage. Ari and Uzi jump off a high scaffold into the indoor pool at the 375th Street Y. ETHELINE I think that’s terrible advice. DAY. RICHIE’S BEDROOM.) We take boxing and self-defense class. Royal leads them at a full gallop down a ravine and over a stone wall. Royal listens to Ari over the intercom while Pagoda does yoga exercises in the corner: ARI (V. Ari and Uzi jaywalk through heavy traffic. Royal. Royal. INT. Royal.
69. Royal. STREET. He sees Royal. The three secretaries are still at work. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv. He glares at Ari. Ari and Uzi hide cartons of chocolate milk under their jackets and walk quickly out the door of a bodega. and Chas is on the telephone. Ari and Uzi ride on the back of a speeding garbage truck. There was a price on my head. EXT. ROYAL (CONT’D) That’s dog’s blood. (CONTINUED) . Ari and Uzi throw water balloons at a gypsy cab. Royal. CHAS’ BEDROOM. ROYAL That’s not -. ARI Who stabbed you? Royal motions to Pagoda again. Ari and Uzi walking by the hallway. Chas hangs up the telephone. No. you know. Holy shit. CHAS Where’ve you been? Chas goes to the doorway.What is that? Royal licks his finger and rubs away the blood. and he was a hired assassin. DAY. ROYAL (indicating Pagoda) He saved my life. How’s ROYAL Just stepped out to get some air. INT. the -CHAS (concerned) What’s that? Chas points to a spot of dried blood on Uzi’s forehead. I was knifed at a bazaar in Calcutta. ROYAL He did. CONTINUED: Royal. Thirty years ago. and he carried me to the hospital on his back. DAY. Uzi and Royal.
He smiles. rolls his hanging IV bag at his side. Loving every minute with this damn crew. CLOSET. I haven’t been in here in years. Scrapping and yelling. EXT. Royal Royal and Etheline walk along a path through the park. Royal stands alone in the dark. I’m having a ball. (CONTINUED) . CHAS (screams) Are you listening to me? ROYAL Yes. Chas closes the door and turns on the light. understand? Do you ROYAL (looking around) My God. (sincerely) I’d like to thank you for raising our children. by the way. most of which are about thirty years old. Chas grabs Royal by the arm and pulls him into the closet across the hall. INT. He looks to Royal. I don’t believe you’ve recovered from Rachael’s death. covered with dust. There are hundreds of board games. in shelves up to the ceiling. Royal hesitates. And I think you’re having a nervous breakdown. ROYAL (CONT’D) There you are.70. DAY. in the corner. and closes the door. Mixing it up. ETHELINE How are you feeling? ROYAL Oh. He switches the light back on and looks down at the floor. I am. goes out of the closet. PARK. The stuffed boar’s head is under the bottom shelf. CONTINUED: Chas frowns. CHAS Stay away from my children. I think -Chas turns off the light. DAY.
They look at each other for a long minute. (pause) Plus. Etheline shrugs. What? Royal smiles. ETHELINE Nothing. though.71. tell me. anyway. didn’t you? ETHELINE I tried to. it’s nobody’s fault. it doesn’t -ETHELINE Well. and guts than any bob-tailed fox I ever damn hunted. ROYAL (CONT’D) You always put them first. ROYAL I’m not kidding. ROYAL (pause) I don’t know what you’re talking about. don’t do that to yourself. Lately. ROYAL (CONT’D) What’s so funny? ETHELINE Nothing. I feel like maybe I didn’t do such a great job. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) OK. then why didn’t you give a damn about us. I’ll tell you one thing. Or. (CONTINUED) . Just these little expressions of yours. You’ve got more grit. I’m the one who failed them. But I’ll take it as a compliment. Royal? Why didn’t you care? ROYAL I don’t know. but I’m ashamed of myself. and if -Etheline laughs. and fire. ROYAL No. ROYAL Goddammit.
Henry is dressed in black tie. EVENING. He looks sad and stunned. I hope you’re right. It says “Chapter Six. You really are. INSERT: Page 147 of The Royal Tenenbaums. if you don’t mind. SIDEWALK. Henry frowns. Pagoda holds a gypsy cab for them at the curb. He listens as Royal says: ROYAL (CONT’D) How’s your love life? ETHELINE None of your business. I’ll call you in the morning. (pause) Actually. CUT TO: Henry with two bags of groceries in his arms. Etheline stops at the bottom of the steps. .” Etheline and Henry come down the front steps of the Tenenbaum house. EXT.72. HENRY I’d like you to talk to Royal about us. Etheline turns around and goes back up the steps. ETHELINE (hesitates) I don’t think the timing’s right for that. Henry watches her. Ethel. I’d agree if I thought he was really going to die in six weeks. watching from behind a stone wall above the path. Silence. But I don’t. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL (CONT’D) You’re true blue. HENRY Well. I don’t believe I’m going to join you tonight. ETHELINE Well. The ends of a pair of theatre tickets stick out of his breast pocket. Pagoda watches Henry. Henry. Etheline goes inside and closes the door.
Royal comes into the kitchen eating a cheeseburger. KITCHEN. DAY. ROYAL Are you trying to steal my woman? HENRY (pause) I beg your pardon? ROYAL You heard me. Coltrane. The next morning. Henry stands at the counter reading the Wall Street Journal. Henry looks at him blankly. Royal snaps his fingers. He whispers excitedly: ROYAL She said that? Pagoda nods. NIGHT. ROYAL (CONTINUED) .73. Royal has a half-eaten cheeseburger in his hand. HENRY (long pause) Coltrane? What? ROYAL HENRY Did you just call me Coltrane? No. INT. ROYAL HENRY You didn’t? No. CLOSET. ROYAL Can I ask you something? HENRY (pause) OK. He has on reading glasses. ROYAL (CONT’D) We got the sucker on the ropes. Royal and Pagoda stand together in the board-game-filled closet drinking Martinis and smoking cigarettes. INT. Royal sits on a stool.
sit down. would you? HENRY You don’t think so? ROYAL No. yeah? Right on! Sit down! What? ROYAL HENRY ROYAL Royal starts doing a little dance in front of Henry. He looks puzzled. If you think -ROYAL You want to talk some jive? Henry hesitates.74. Royal. ROYAL (CONT’D) You wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. ROYAL But if I did? Silence. CONTINUED: HENRY (pause) OK. HENRY (seething) Listen. Henry waits for Royal to continue. ROYAL (CONT’D) What’d you say? HENRY I said. ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll talk some jive with you. goddammit! (CONTINUED) . Royal stands up. I don’t. He screams: ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll talk some jive like you never heard! HENRY (yelling) Oh.
STAIRWAY. INT. Henry takes out a pill and examines it. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL Oh. Henry jumps to his feet. . At Colby General. TELEPHONE ROOM. Henry goes into Richie’s room and takes a bottle of Royal’s pills off the night stand. ROYAL Don’t play semantics with me. INSERT: The pill. Nothing. He says ROYAL (CONT’D) I want you out of my house. DAY. HENRY This is not your house. DAY. Yes. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. He goes back out of the room. Royal goes to the refrigerator and opens it. INT. McClure. darkly: Royal stops dancing. determined look on his face. I’m calling in regards to a Dr. The name of the patient is Royal Tenenbaum.75. He takes out a jar of peanut butter and a jar of grape jelly. ROYAL She stands in the doorway. INT. Henry goes up the stairs with a cold. I heard you. I want your raggedy ass back on the -ETHELINE What’s going on here? Henry and Royal look to Etheline. DAY. Etheline looks to Henry. HENRY Hello. He has the bottle of pills in his hand. Henry walks out of the room. Henry reads the label on the bottle while he places a call. It has pink and blue sparkles all over it and the word “Tic-Tac” printed on the side.
A small room with an Indian pattern on the wallpaper. Eli is his guest. Henry stands in the doorway. distinguished-looking man in his fifties. CUT TO: Richie’s room. He is Peter Bradley. Two dalmation mice dart out across the floor. He stares at Pagoda. Richie comes into the room. you know. and then it opens. RICHIE Richie goes into the closet. INSERT: A television set tuned in to an interview show. Royal frowns. Pagoda lies on a hammock listening to Indian music on a portable record player.76. I grew up with the Tenenbaum family. MARGOT What’d you do to your hand? Nothing. They’ve come on hard times now. PAGODA’S ROOM. haven’t they? Eli nods sadly. The host is a tall. PETER Right. Margot looks concerned. Margot and Royal are watching Eli on ROYAL Change it. His hand is wrapped with bloody bandages. DAY. television. ROYAL You think we could get somebody to come over here and kill some of these mice for us? (CONTINUED) . Bullshit. The door opens. There is a knock on the door. INT. They sit at a round table lit at the center of a pitch-black room. They run under the radiator. HENRY How much is he paying you? Pagoda looks scared. ELI Well.
much like the -Eli freezes. ROYAL What’s cooking. Richie drags a large trunk out of the closet. CONTINUED: MARGOT No. PETER Now. Pops? HENRY You’ll see. tell him to stick them in a fucking cage or something. Those belong to Chas. Eli’s interview continues. he invented them. anyway. Right.S. ELI (CONT’D) Holy shit. Wildcattin’ was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular. Henry and Pagoda come into the room. Well. PETER Not a success. INSERT: The television set.) (on the intercom) OK. Or. He looks quickly across the room. please? Royal looks at Henry suspiciously. your previous novel -ELI Wildcattin’. PETER (looking around) What? (CONTINUED) . Why? ELI Hm. Henry goes over to the HENRY Etheline? Would you mind coming up here for a minute.77. ROYAL Well. intercom and presses a button on it. ETHELINE (O.
Royal sits up. He turns to Royal and points at him. PAGODA He has the cancer. Everyone looks to Pagoda. Chas is eating a sandwich. PETER (CONT’D) Are you all right? ELI (concerned) Why is it so dense in here? Peter hesitates. he doesn’t.78. HENRY (angrily) No. Pagoda looks worried. please. He braces himself against the edge of the table. HENRY (CONT’D) I know what stomach cancer looks like. Peter Bradley watches him go. Silence. and walks off the set. Margot goes to the telephone. Henry stares at Royal. Ari. They look stunned. stands up. HENRY Hold on a minute. Eli removes his microphone. MARGOT (worried) I’ll be right back. What the hell kind of way to act is that? RICHIE (pause) He’s on drugs. I’ve seen it. CUT TO: Everyone watching in Richie’s bedroom. Etheline and Chas come into the room. ROYAL Son of a bitch. Peter looks concerned. HENRY (CONT’D) Pagoda has something to say. Uzi and Buckley follow them. CONTINUED: (2) A look of sheer horror crosses Eli’s face. (MORE) (CONTINUED) . Henry steps in front of the television set and turns it off.
Henry turns to Etheline. Etheline looks to Royal. McClure at Colby General. Etheline looks to Pagoda. He goes into the bathroom and closes the door. Royal pulls out his IV and the other tubes that are attached to him. He picks up one of his bottles of pills off the night stand and leaves the rest. Chas hangs up. there’s no Colby General. He is fully dressed in a suit. ETHELINE Were you part of this? HENRY Of course he was. She frowns. The pain is excruciating. Can you send a taxi to 111 Archer Avenue? Right away. CHAS Yes. He places a call. Royal comes out of the bathroom. HENRY (CONT’D) Not only is there no Dr. please. regretfully: Royal looks to Pagoda. and he is zipping up a small leather bag. No more lies. (CONTINUED) . ROYAL How would you know? HENRY My wife had it. pal. Silence. He says ROYAL Time to come clean. man.79. shit. CONTINUED: (3) HENRY (CONT’D) And you don’t eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you’ve got it. It closed in 1974. Chas crushes his sandwich in his hand. ROYAL I guess we’re back on the street. ETHELINE But why would he -Chas slams his hand against the bathroom door as hard as he can. Thank you. Pagoda looks uneasy. He looks to Pagoda. He sits down on the bed and picks up the phone. PAGODA Ah.
O. and I got kicked out of my hotel. A strange. though. INT. CONTINUED: (4) Pagoda stares at Royal bitterly. (CONTINUED) . Plus. I do have high blood pressure. Or. ETHELINE But we hadn’t spoken in seven years. NARRATOR (V. ETHELINE Why’d you do this to us. Royal swallows one of his pills. Royal realized that it was true. Royal? Royal stops. Pete’s owed me a favor. front of everyone. my whole life. Royal comes out of Richie’s room with his suitcases. Etheline stands at the end of the hall. I was broke. I thought I could get rid of Henry and keep things status quo. HALLWAY. Look. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What was the point? ROYAL (pause) I thought maybe I could win you back. anyway. RICHIE How’d you get all these medical supplies? ROYAL (pause) A guy at St. ROYAL I know. He turns and stands in ROYAL (CONT’D) know I’m the bad guy on this I just want to say that the days have been the best six probably.) Immediately after making this statement. sad expression crosses Royal’s face. I did some malpractice work for him. but last six days of. Richie points at the hospital bed and life-support machines. Royal begins to gather his possessions. DAY. I one.80.
INT. Chas hesitates. Royal nods. past Margot and Henry. Royal stops in front of him. A gypsy cab pulls over to the curb. (CONTINUED) . I really do. Royal. Richie shakes his head. Royal’s suitcases are beside him. DAY. don’t want this to happen to you. this illness.81. ROYAL You know. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) You’re a bastard. with tears in ETHELINE (CONT’D) Goodbye. in the front doorway. Etheline stares at him angrily. Chas stands at the bottom of the stairs and watches Royal come down with his suitcases. MARGOT (pause) Neither are you. Richie and Royal stand on the sidewalk. He begins to cry. RICHIE You were never dying. It’s been very profound for me. door. Royal turns and walks down the stairs. ROYAL Take it easy on those boys. this closeness to death. Royal points to Henry. into the house. ROYAL (smiles) But I’m going to live. EXT. He turns away and goes up the steps. STAIRWELL. ROYAL (CONT’D) He’s not your father. Richie. I Royal walks past him and goes out the front DAY. Royal and Margot look at each other. STREET. Margot closes the door. her eyes. Chassie. Royal puts his hands in his pockets. He stares into space. Margot and Henry stand at the top of the steps. I feel like a different person. Royal waves to the driver. Dad.
He collects his suitcases. pal? Pagoda drops his suitcases to the ground. CONTINUED: The front door of the house opens. He clutches his side. He holds a bottle of iodine in one hand and a box of bandages in the other. Royal says to the driver: ROYAL (CONT’D) The 375th Street Y.” INT. 375TH STREET Y. Royal leans on Pagoda as they get into the gypsy cab. He looks furious. PAGODA You can’t blame them. Royal grimaces. I want to be loved by this family. An extremely small room with a low ceiling and a single bed. please. ROYAL How you doing. door says “375th Street Y. dammit. DAY. Pagoda’s teeth flash as he goes over to Royal and stabs him with a penknife.” A huge building that looks like a castle. PAGODA You son of a bitch. INSERT: Page 198 of The Royal Tenenbaums. The gypsy cab driver watches blankly. ROYAL Everyone’s against me. DAY. A sign next to the It says “Chapter Seven.82. Royal screams. He falls on the ground. ROYAL (CONT’D) How much money you got? (CONTINUED) . Royal stands in front of a mirror while Pagoda stitches up the knife-wound in his side. 375TH STREET Y. But. ROYAL I know. EXT. man. Pagoda pours some iodine on a cotton ball and applies it to Royal’s knife wound. ROYAL Goddammit! That’s the last time I get knifed by you! You hear me? Pagoda helps Royal to his feet. Pagoda comes down the steps with two suitcases.
(CONTINUED) . Let’s just try and have a nice time. She drinks her whole glass all at once.83. Etheline wears a cream silk nightgown. The doors to the balcony are open. Silence. Etheline says suddenly: ETHELINE (CONT’D) Maybe we’re rushing things. HENRY Would you like another glass of wine? ETHELINE Yes. NIGHT. We don’t have to do this right now. All right. It’s awkward sitting here in our pajamas and everything. INT. and three candles on it. ROYAL (CONT’D) You got to be kidding me. He clinks his glass against hers and takes a small sip. please. Henry has on pale-blue silk pajamas. ROYAL (frowns) What do you mean? Pagoda nods. ROYAL (CONT’D) We’ll figure something out. CONTINUED: PAGODA I don’t have. Henry. How’re we supposed to pay for the damn room? Pagoda looks up at Royal coldly. HENRY (relieved) You’re right. ETHELINE Henry gets up and changes the record to a more upbeat number. Henry refills Etheline’s glass. HENRY’S APARTMENT. You’re broke? Royal looks furious. two bottles of wine. OK. and there is a gentle breeze. Henry looks uneasy. They look at each other fondly for a minute. He puts on a slow jazz record and sits down across from Etheline at a small table with a vase of roses. Henry’s bedroom is filled with paintings and sculptures from the fifties and sixties.
His napkin catches on fire. EXT. Margot waits in the middle of the bridge. a chocolate mousse. I should go. and there’s no need for us to force anything. He stops a few feet away from Margot. I think we’re both a little uneasy. Henry nods. CONTINUED: HENRY Yes. I should go. Henry sits alone. MARGOT (pause) ELI OK. I’m not in love with you.84. two cheesecakes. His face is smeared with dirt and traces of paint. Silence. what? MARGOT OK. (CONTINUED) . BRIDGE. a bowl of strawberries. Let’s just ETHELINE Actually. either. Henry quickly strikes a match and sets the crepe suzette on fire. ELI Let’s not make this any more difficult than it already is. His clothes look severely dishevelled. at least. and he dips it in his water glass. Eli walks towards her from the opposite bank. A footbridge over the river. He gets up and turns off the record player. ELI I’m not in love with you any more. MARGOT I didn’t know you ever were. DAY. There’s no hurry. and a crepe suzette on it. Etheline picks up her overnight bag off a chair and goes into the bathroom. ETHELINE No. Etheline hesitates. He looks to Etheline. HENRY Can I. I think you’re right. He looks disappointed. OK. offer you some dessert? Henry points to a dessert cart with a lemon meringue pie.
He opens and begins to read. MARGOT (CONT’D) And your grades in -ELI Please. Eli turns away and looks sadly out at the river. Richie and Dudley sit across a desk from the large man in the coat and tie. two hundred yards away. over and stands beside him. Silence. ELI (CONT’D) You never gave me the time of day until I started getting good reviews. MARGOT Your reviews aren’t that good.85. rather. MARGOT Do you send my mother your clippings? Eli hesitates. He is a detective. Yes. CUT TO: A second bridge. DETECTIVE How much do you already know. Margot goes A small room on the 30th floor of an office building. (CONTINUED) . A large man in a coat and tie takes photographs of Margot and Eli with a telephoto lens. PRIVATE DETECTIVE’S OFFICE. DETECTIVE Would you like to examine the report? RALEIGH We would. The detective hands Raleigh a manila folder. ELI But the sales are. INT. Richie looks over his shoulder. gentlemen? RALEIGH Very little. Raleigh. stop ridiculing me. Margot nods. I assure you. CONTINUED: ELI I know. DAY. You’re in love with Richie. Which is sick and gross.
. and the ocean glimmers outside. A man dressed in a black shirt with a priest’s collar places a string of shells around Margot’s neck. He has on warpaint and wears a large tusk in his nose. Margot smokes a cigarette. eating a croissant. Margot kisses him on the mouth. Silence. (In each of the following images. Richie looks stunned. and Margot runs her hands through the girl’s hair. Another man has a small machine gun. . .a skinny guy with a Mohawk on a city bus.a tough-looking Irishman on the deck of a ferry. Margot sits in a make-up chair at a television studio. Margot stands in a pool of water facing a young tribesman in New Guinea. Margot makes out with: . CONTINUED: MONTAGE: Margot at age twelve buys a pack of cigarettes in a bodega. leaning against the chimney.86. There is a goat in the doorway. She smokes one on the roof of the house. She wears a bra and a slip. Yes. The girl puts her arms around Margot’s waist. Peter Bradley comes up behind her and puts his hands down her shirt.Eli in a deserted subway train going full speed at night. DETECTIVE . RALEIGH (CONT’D) She smokes. next to the falcon’s coop. She shimmies down the gutter and runs across the lawn.a Puerto Rican teenager in the back seat of a taxi. She carries a small suitcase. A topless girl appears next to her. She holds hands with one of them while he lights a large brown-paper-wrapped marijuana cigarette. Margot opens a window and looks out at the Eifel Tower. He closes the folder and looks to Richie.) Margot climbs out the window of a girls’ dormitory. Margot smiles at him mischievously. Margot stands inside a torch-lit shack among a group of dancing Rastafarians in Jamaica. CUT TO: Raleigh turning to the last page of the report.
He holds a pair of scissors in his hand. DUSTY I already did. Richie walks by in a bathrobe. Richie stands in front of the mirror. He has clipped off his beard. He opens the medicine cabinet and takes out a can of shaving cream and a straight razor. He looks back in the mirror. He says quietly: DUDLEY You want to play some word games or do some experiments on me or anything? Raleigh answers without moving. Royal. The manager is reviewing a typewritten document. MANAGER All right. and says quietly: (CONTINUED) . ROYAL I appreciate that. RALEIGH’S LABORATORY. DAY. Dusty. Which way are you leaning. BASEMENT. Raleigh lies face down on the couch with his head buried in the cushions. I’ll contact you in the next twenty-four hours. He goes into the bathroom. BATHROOM. Everything seems to be in order. DAY. He covers his face with the shaving cream. INT. RALEIGH His voice is muffled. He picks up the razor. and locks it. by the way? MANAGER I’ll inform you of my decision at the appropriate time. Hot water runs full blast in the shower and the sink. No. DAY. Dusty and the manager of the hotel sit at a table in the laundry room of the Lindbergh Palace. takes a deep breath. INT. INT.87. ROYAL Put in a good word for us. He pushes his hand back through his hair. Pagoda. I get it. closes the door. He carries a pair of scissors. Dudley walks over to him with a box of building blocks.
Dudley screams hysterically. Etheline nods. arms are covered with bandages. The floor is flooded with water and blood. Richie slices the razor deeply. She has tears all over her face. and then I’ll come back to check on him. Ari and Uzi hold on as Anwar weaves the BMW in and out of traffic. She rushes over and grabs his arms. Everyone is gathered around Richie in his hospital bed. She throws open the closet door and grabs her coat. MARGOT How do you feel? The doctor (CONTINUED) . Margot holds Richie’s hand. Dudley bursts into the room. Chas. He switches hands with the razor and slashes his other wrist. A doctor gives him an injection and says to Etheline: DOCTOR He’ll probably sleep for several hours. CONTINUED: RICHIE I’m going to kill myself tomorrow.88. Buckley has his head out the window. She sees blood on him. four times. along his left forearm. MONTAGE: Three paramedics race down a corridor pushing Richie on a gurney. leaves the room. His Who? INT. Silence. MARGOT Where is he. Raleigh and Dudley run beside him. She sees Dudley. CUT TO: The bathroom door slamming open. Richie is slumped in the corner with shaving cream all over his face. Etheline hangs up the telephone and runs into the hallway. He sits down on the floor. Dudley? DUDLEY (pause) DAY. Margot bursts through the doors of the emergency room. Blood runs into the sink. He looks horrified. She looks around frantically. HOSPITAL ROOM. They are covered with blood.
CHAS Can we read it? No. WAITING AREA. The doctor The corridor outside Richie’s room. Ari and Uzi sit on Chas’ lap. Everyone looks slightly confused. Etheline fills out some insurance forms. Raleigh stares into space. DAY. RICHIE I wrote a suicide note. ETHELINE Are you in any pain? RICHIE Not really. CHAS Is it dark? RICHIE Of course it’s dark. said to let him sleep. CONTINUED: RICHIE Fine. CHAS Why’d you try to kill yourself? ETHELINE Don’t press him right now. thanks. That’s enough. It’s a suicide ETHELINE All right. You did? MARGOT RICHIE Yeah. Right after I regained consciousness. note.89. INT. (CONTINUED) . Margot sits next to Raleigh. RICHIE CHAS Could you paraphrase it for us? RICHIE I don’t think so.
Margot sighs. RALEIGH May I have a cigarette? What? MARGOT RALEIGH Shall I repeat the question? MARGOT You don’t smoke. MARGOT RALEIGH And you’ve nearly killed your poor brother. I know. (CONTINUED) . MARGOT Silence. ETHELINE What’s he talking about? MARGOT It doesn’t matter. She reaches into her pocket and takes out a pack of cigarettes. RALEIGH (bitterly) I bloody well know that. please? Margot takes out some matches and lights Raleigh’s cigarette. RALEIGH She’s balling Eli Cash. ETHELINE Oh. CONTINUED: RALEIGH You’ve made a cuckold of me. He puts it in his mouth. She gives one to Raleigh. I’m sorry. RALEIGH (CONT’D) And a light. RALEIGH Many times over.90. Everyone looks at Raleigh and Margot. Raleigh stares at Margot in silence. Everyone looks surprised and extremely uncomfortable. my goodness.
He looks to Etheline with an embarrassed expression. Raleigh stands up and walks away. ETHELINE Well. Royal speaks anxiously to a nurse at the registration desk. Etheline puts her arms around him. He swats at the necktie. CONTINUED: (2) RALEIGH (CONT’D) Thank you. Margot lights a cigarette for herself. She hugs him tightly and starts to cry. A gypsy cab stops in front of the hospital. down the hall. I think you should quit. out the door. The door opens at the end of the hall. NIGHT. He says earnestly: HENRY How can I help? Etheline begins to point to Henry’s necktie suspended near his ear. NIGHT. hurling his glasses off his face and on to the floor. Henry Sherman comes in. Etheline sees him and stands up. INT. Henry senses something wrong in his peripheral vision and looks confused. ETHELINE How long have you been a smoker? MARGOT (pause) Twenty-two years. HOSPITAL.91. Silence. STREET. Your name? NURSE (CONTINUED) . ROYAL Richie Tenenbaum. Henry picks up his glasses and puts them back on. he unintentionally clamps them to his necktie and pulls his necktie up to his temple. They are both dressed in hotel elevator-operator uniforms. As he unfolds them. EXT. Margot nods. please. He starts to put on his glasses. Etheline looks disturbed. Three hours later. but she hesitates. Pagoda stands behind him. Royal and Pagoda get out and walk quickly into the building. He goes over to her.
A bus pulls over in front of Richie. He’ll be in tomorrow Royal and Pagoda stand in front of the hospital. Richie gets on the bus. The doors open. NIGHT. He hesitates. sir. afternoon. Richie looks to Royal and Pagoda. Silence. NURSE I’m afraid visiting hours are over. Attempted suicide. They NURSE I have to refer you to Dr. ROYAL I think if we shimmy up that gutter and jump across the window ledge we can pry open the ventilation shaft and -PAGODA There he is. SIDEWALK. EXT. Burroughs. He is dressed in surgical scrubs and bedroom slippers. CONTINUED: ROYAL Royal Tenenbaum. His arms are covered with bandages. ROYAL (CONT’D) Where’re you going? Silence. The nurse looks down at her registration book. Royal and Pagoda watch it drive away. ROYAL (hesitates) Why? What does it say there? don’t want me? I’m sorry. ROYAL (CONT’D) I have to say. He sounds desperate. Royal points to the edge of the roof. Royal looks puzzled. She looks back to Royal. Royal calls out: Richie? ROYAL He sees their uniforms. man. She frowns. Royal looks very upset. Pagoda points to Richie waiting at the bus stop on the corner. he didn’t look half bad for a suicide. anyway. (CONTINUED) .92.
NIGHT. Richie sits in the back row and rides downtown. shouldn’t you be on some kind of suicide watch or something? RICHIE (pause) Probably. CONTINUED: Pagoda nods.93. with Margot slightly older. He puts his arm around Royal’s shoulder. Margot puts out her cigarette. She seems worried. RICHIE I checked myself out. Richie goes to the tent at the center of the room. NIGHT. RICHIE What are you doing in my tent? MARGOT (hesitates) Just listening to some records. She looks startled. Richie looks into the tent. Margot is sitting on the floor next to a record player smoking a cigarette. leans against the wall. Hello? MARGOT (CONT’D) Richie looks at the seventeen paintings of Margot hanging in the corner. MARGOT (CONT’D) I thought you were supposed to be in the hospital. An unfinished eighteenth. Margot calls out from inside. INT. (CONTINUED) . NIGHT. MARGOT Who’s there? Richie does not respond. Richie walks in and sees the lamp glowing inside his tent. INT. BALLROOM. INT. BUS. She has a Rolling Stones record in her hand. The ballroom on the top floor of the Tenenbaum house. TENT. An old city busy with trash on the floor and graffiti spraypainted on the walls. MARGOT Well.
I was swimming. His arm is covered with jagged. Richie unwraps one of his bandages. That looks horrible. MARGOT How many stitches did you get? RICHIE I don’t know. You want to see? Margot nods. and he came out to me in a canoe. RICHIE (nods) And I heard about Eli. Margot looks stricken. It plays quietly. I didn’t get his name. crisscrossing stitches and dried blood. CONTINUED: Richie goes into the tent and sits down Indian-style in front of Margot. We were only married for nine days.94. I guess that was the attraction. He wraps the bandage back around his arm. MARGOT (pause) Desmond? RICHIE (hesitates) I guess so. Richie says quietly: RICHIE I have to tell you something. I met him in the ocean. She puts on the Rolling Stones record. Silence. RICHIE I heard about your ex-husband. Richie. if you know what I mean. MARGOT (sighs) I know. MARGOT Jesus. Anyway. Margot sighs. (CONTINUED) . Poor Eli. MARGOT Yeah. RICHIE (surprised) You did? MARGOT Yeah. Richie nods. we mostly just talked about you.
MARGOT (sadly) I love you. Margot nods. Richie lies down on the cot. Margot looks at his Boy Scout MARGOT (CONT’D) This is the one we took to the museum. I don’t know what to do. She puts her hands on the back of his head. MARGOT I think we’re just going to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that. Richie sits alone for a minute. RICHIE I can’t stop thinking about you. MARGOT Let’s lie down for a minute. She lies down next to Richie and puts her arm around his shoulder. I went away for a year. MARGOT You’re not going to do it again. Richie looks worried. She kisses Richie’s hand. and she kisses him back. too. Richie kisses Margot on the mouth. Richie. and it only got worse. Margot looks back into the tent. She smooths back his hair. but it’s not your fault. are you? RICHIE (pause) I doubt it.95. (CONTINUED) . isn’t it? Richie nods. Margot sighs. They listen to the music for a minute. Richie pulls away from her and looks into her eyes. MARGOT (CONT’D) Why’d you do it? Because of me? RICHIE Yeah. CONTINUED: (2) MARGOT What’s that? RICHIE I love you. She starts crying. sleeping bag. Margot gets up and goes out of the tent.
It says “Chapter Eight. is the operator. ELEVATOR. ROYAL (CONT’D) He nods. (CONTINUED) . He carries the stuffed boar’s head. Royal stands with his back to Richie. The book on top is Family of Geniuses. but we’ll get a bump when we join the union.96. ROYAL Thank you. He steps into Royal’s Going up? Richie looks back to Royal. Margot turns away and goes out the tent. Pagoda hesitates. DAY. sir. Then there are Margot’s books. CONTINUED: (3) They look at each other for a long minute. He hangs it on the wall in its place. One of the businessmen hands Royal a dollar as they walk out into the lobby. Richie comes downstairs in his pajamas. waves to Richie. ROYAL (CONT’D) What floor? RICHIE It doesn’t matter. The elevator at the Lindbergh Palace. He takes three well-dressed businessmen down to the lobby. Royal sees Richie looks surprised. RICHIE (CONT’D) So you’re elevator operators now. HALLWAY. He looks exhausted and depressed. The record ends. Royal closes the doors and pulls a lever. standing in front of the elevator. A dalmation mouse appears and crawls among them. Pagoda Richie looks at him. elevator. We just started. He Richie waves back. Henry’s book and Eli’s book. The elevator goes up. Royal is dressed in his elevator-operator uniform. The doors open.” The next morning. Royal The doors of another elevator open. INT. DAY. INT. He spreads them out on the floor among his Matchbox cars and tennis trophies. Raleigh’s book. Richie picks up the stack of books off the table next to his cot. ROYAL Yeah. INSERT: Page 230 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Richie nods.
Royal turns around quickly and looks to Richie. CONTINUED: RICHIE What made you decide to do that? ROYAL Well. looking out at the city. I think I know the answer.97. ROYAL He says quietly: He nods. in answer to your question. But. I guess I’m trying to prove I can pay my dues and what-not. Silence. RICHIE ROYAL And what’s her feeling about it? RICHIE I think she feels confused. Royal looks surprised and moved. (CONTINUED) . I RICHIE You asked me why I choked out there that day. and I wanted your advice. we’re broke. Richie nods. Royal and Richie stand on the edge of the roof. just hope somebody knows. RICHIE (CONT’D) Well. ROYAL Does she know? Uh-huh. RICHIE ROYAL Since when? RICHIE Since always. ROOF. DAY. EXT. Sure. ROYAL Margot Tenenbaum? Yeah. Silence.
RICHIE (pause) That’s OK. right? Richie nods. Royal nods. Royal shrugs. it’s not. His expression changes. blood. I wish I knew what to tell you. I never understood any of us. illegal. I never understood her. (CONTINUED) He . RICHIE I don’t think so. It’s probably We’re not related by ROYAL (CONT’D) I don’t know. ROYAL (CONT’D) You know what? Don’t listen to me. so -Royal stops short. He says quietly: ROYAL (CONT’D) Do you still consider me your father? RICHIE Sure. but then what isn’t these days. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s still frowned upon. Silence. Royal looks very sad. RICHIE I know you do. you love each other. Pop. He keeps looking down at the ground. takes a deep breath. ROYAL I wish I had a little more to offer in that department.98. CONTINUED: ROYAL I can understand that. ROYAL (pause) That’s true. He stares down at the ground. Royal nods. Why not? Hell. and nobody knows what’s going to happen. Maybe it works. myself. I do. but I just don’t. ROYAL No.
99. Holy shit. ELEVATOR. Royal and Richie watch as it lands on the railing in front of them. He frowns. Richie looks off into the distance. feathers on its neck and says softly: RICHIE You came back. RICHIE I need your help with something else. RICHIE I’m not so sure this is Mordecai. He must have a goddamn radar in his brain. INT. DAY. the son of a bitch must be molting. He flew right in RICHIE Yeah. He seems frightened. He hesitates. The falcon is Richie and Royal ride down in the elevator. ROYAL Well. Royal looks up at the sky. but now he has white feathers on his neck. and she’s smart as a whip. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL I don’t blame you. perched on Richie’s arm. and -Mordecai? RICHIE Royal looks up. ROYAL He smooths out the Richie slowly reaches out to the falcon. by the way. Silence. ROYAL Jiminy Cricket. Royal and Richie study the falcon. Richie frowns. Richie seems uncertain. A falcon flies in a low circle around the building. ROYAL (CONT’D) She’s a great looking girl. ROYAL What do you mean? here. (CONTINUED) .
ELI (CONT’D) I guess Margot and your mother couldn’t make it. Richie walks into the room. INT. (CONTINUED) .100. Electronic music blasts form the stereo. Eli has yellow powder on his nose. He says awkwardly: ELI (CONT’D) Hey. The door opens and Richie looks inside. ELI’S STUDY. They are dressed in their elevator-operator uniforms. Richie. Silence. CONTINUED: ROYAL (excitedly) You got it. ELI (pause) Is it just you guys? Richie looks slightly confused. He yells into a walkie-talkie: Pagoda! ROYAL (CONT’D) Let’s hit it! RICHIE (hesitates) I didn’t mean right this second. Three Egyptian men are chopping up yellow powder on the table. There is a knock on the door. RICHIE We want to take you to get some help. Yes? ELI Everyone looks up. DAY. Eli looks confused and uneasy. ROYAL Royal throws the lever on the elevator to full speed. Eli and the Egyptian men stare at Richie. Eli sits on the couch in his study working on a jigsaw puzzle of the Beatles crossing Abbey Road. What’s the situation? RICHIE Well. It accelerates and starts shaking violently. Royal and Pagoda follow him. I think -Hang on.
RICHIE You don’t have to say anything. ROYAL Would you excuse us. please? The Egyptian men hesitate. CONTINUED: Eli looks disappointed. Pagoda points to the door. I’m sorry. He sees the bandages around Richie’s ELI (CONT’D) What happened there? RICHIE (hesitates) Nothing. He sits down next to Eli. Eli gets up and goes over to the window.101. Richie nods. RICHIE Are we still friends? Eli seems embarrassed and hurt. ELI What do you mean? Are we? RICHIE Royal and Pagoda sit The ELI Of course. and Margot. (CONTINUED) . Richie goes over and stands next to him. Royal looks to the Egyptian men. Egyptian men leave the room. across from them. He looks out at the backyard. RICHIE Where’s Sabrina? ELI (pause) They went back to England. arms. RICHIE It doesn’t matter. ELI I don’t know what to say. I can’t believe you would ask me that. Eli looks deeply depressed. I heard about you Silence.
PAGODA There he goes. ICE-CREAM PARLOR. I do recognize that I have a problem. reaches out. Anyway. A waiter stands next to him. and picks a dead leaf off a branch of a tree. quietly: Eli looks to Royal. over to the window and looks out. He sees Eli running down the fire escape. RICHIE (pause) But you didn’t have a drug problem then. and I want to get better. Every booth is filled with divorced fathers and their young daughters. ELI Yeah. CONTINUED: (2) ELI I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum. Eli goes into the bathroom and locks the door. He looks to Richie. ROYAL Me. INT. please. you know? Richie nods. What would you like.102. They watch Eli drop to the ground. too. and hail a taxi. Royal nods and says Me. run into the street. Royal is dressed in his elevator-operator uniform. ELI But it doesn’t mean what it used to. ROYAL I want to order some ice cream for my daughter. Margot? (CONTINUED) . He Pagoda goes A room decorated like a birthday cake. Eli opens the window. I really appreciate your coming over here now. but it still would’ve meant a lot to me. too. Royal and Richie rush over to the window. has on socks but no shoes. Let me just get my things. DAY. ELI (CONT’D) I wish you’d’ve done this for me when I was a kid. does it? Richie shakes his head. Margot sits across from Royal.
He has a bunch of white flowers in his hand. Silence. one. but I’m not going to discuss it with you. SIDEWALK. Nothing. Do they? Royal nods. MARGOT Silence. I think people want to hear that. He leans across the table and says urgently: ROYAL Can’t someone be a shit their whole life and want to repair the damage? I mean. Helen. MARGOT You don’t have ROYAL (surprised) That was my mother’s name. ROYAL (pause) It’s a trick question. (CONTINUED) . ROYAL Your brother’s all torn up inside. MARGOT (sadly) I know it was. Royal looks frustrated. minutes.103. MARGOT (CONT’D) I’ll have a butterscotch sundae. so am I. The waiter nods and walks away. Royal sighs. MARGOT (hesitates) Well. Royal stands on the sidewalk in front of the Tenenbaum house. CONTINUED: MARGOT I told you. EXT. MARGOT (CONT’D) You probably don’t even know my middle name. I guess. DAY. I only have five Margot sighs.
He’s a notary public. Henry does not know what to say. They both look depressed. It contains a sheaf of typwritten documents. Royal throws Ari looks out the window. Royal motions to the Mexican man. made it. Uzi appears beside him. ETHELINE ROYAL Royal looks to Henry. (CONTINUED) . Henry shrugs. Ethel. I Etheline and Henry look at Royal warily. CUT TO: Royal putting his bunch of flowers on Rachael’s grave. Etheline and Henry see him. Royal smiles. EXT. From you? Yes. Royal calls up to them: ROYAL Anybody feel like grabbing a couple of burgers and hitting the cemetery? Chas appears between Ari and Uzi. DAY. a pebble at a window on the third floor. ETHELINE What’s this? A divorce. Etheline and Henry come down the front steps of Henry’s building. She opens the envelope. ROYAL She says quietly: Etheline looks to Royal. He looks down to Royal. ROYAL (CONT’D) This is Sanchez. CONTINUED: Anwar is asleep in the BMW parked at the curb. He stands alone with his hands in his pockets. She looks to Henry. Royal has a large envelope in his hands. Royal looks nervous. STREET. He walks away. next to a small Mexican man in a windbreaker and a tie. Ari opens the window. Royal is waiting at the bus stop on the corner. Chas closes the window. HENRY (hesitates) Hello. Royal hands Etheline the envelope. Royal goes over to them ROYAL I got you something. Actually.104.
Henry does not respond. He’s everything I’m not. both of you. Sanchez.105. Royal looks up at Henry’s building. Sanchez puts several stamps and notations on it. He turns back to Etheline. Etheline signs. (CONTINUED) . block. but my son expropriated it from me. Royal hands Etheline a pen and points to a dotted line. ROYAL If you’ll just sign here. I used to be a homeowner myself. Etheline signs. And here. but now I get it. Henry? It’s magnificent. ROYAL (CONT’D) You own this building. ROYAL (CONT’D) I love you. Etheline signs. don’t you. ROYAL (CONT’D) I didn’t think so much of him at first. ROYAL Sanchez just has to file the Royal signals to the bus driver. A city bus approaches from the next ROYAL (CONT’D) ROYAL (CONT’D) Here comes my bus. ETHELINE Are we divorced? Almost. Royal hands the sheaf of documents to Sanchez. ROYAL (CONT’D) And initial here. Royal looks to Henry. papers. sir. SANCHEZ You’re welcome. Ethel. CONTINUED: SANCHEZ Hello. Etheline. please. Thanks. And congratulations.
They help people out of their cars. The door closes. and direct them to the front door. DAY. receiving the wedding guests. He looks around. He has on sunglasses. He yells: ROYAL (CONT’D) Take back Pagoda. give them programs for the ceremony. (CONTINUED) . and He looks back to Etheline. HENRY It’s slightly uneven. will you? Etheline hesitates. CONTINUED: (2) Royal smiles. The midshipman is Walter. and he is covered with grass and dirt. Henry studies his tie in the mirror. They hide them in their jackets. It says “Chapter Nine. STREET. Royal slips Ari and Uzi each a large purple-and-green-striped jawbreaker. It is nearly identical to the invitation on the cover of the first edition of The Royal Tenenbaums. CHAS’ BEDROOM. CUT TO: Page 258. He hugs Pagoda and kisses Ari and Uzi on the tops of their heads. NIGHT. runs to the bus. He looks lost and sad. INT. ELI’S CAR. INSERT: An invitation to Etheline’s and Henry’s wedding at the house on Archer Avenue. She nods. Half of them are black and half are white. Royal smiles at Ari and Uzi.106. There are about fifty guests. Electronic music blasts from the stereo. He whispers: ROYAL I got you some jawbreakers.” Ari. A twenty-one-year-old black Navy midshipman helps Henry finish tying his bow tie. Uzi and Pagoda stand in front of the house with Buckley. and Henry stand watching with Sanchez. The members of the wedding party are dressed in morning suits. EXT. INT. jumps inside. He turns away suddenly. Etheline Eli drives through a tunnel at top speed in the middle of the night. Royal and Dusty get out of a gypsy cab. DAY.
yeah. Margot looks out the window at the guests arriving on the street while Etheline finishes her make-up. INT. WALTER Nice to meet you. Henry? RICHIE Richie cracks Henry looks to the door. HENRY I’m a widower. I’m a widower myself. He and Walter shake hands. Richie. Chas looks to Henry. Chas. Richie comes into the room. HENRY I know you are. He nods. (pause) You know. HENRY Hello. help me quit. CHAS (CONT’D) So you’ve been married before? Yes. I forgot. ETHELINE Is it working? It’s supposed to (CONTINUED) . Walter hesitates. Walter. This is my son. ETHELINE What are you chewing on? MARGOT My nicotine inhaler. Margot has a white plastic inhaler in her mouth. CHAS Oh. Walter Sherman. RICHIE Nice to meet you. CHAS Henry’s your dad? Chas is standing in the doorway. CONTINUED: Henry unties his knot and starts from scratch. DAY.107. open the door and looks into the room. MARGOT’S BEDROOM.
of course. INT. ROYAL Well. I’m half Hebrew. He looks to Ari and Uzi and hollers: Boys! ROYAL Royal jumps down the stairs. He wears a distracted smile. accelerates. Royal and a very small Irish priest stand together at the top of the steps. Uzi and Buckley watching frozen as Eli’s car races toward them. CUT TO: Ari. Royal and the priest frown. EXT. Royal and the priest look down the block. He downshifts. DAY. I really don’t know. Royal looks panicked. CONTINUED: MARGOT Not really. MARGOT’S BEDROOM.108. ETHELINE What was that? (CONTINUED) . There is a tremendous crashing boom and the sound of shattering glass. A car’s tires squeal around the corner. ROYAL (pause) I believe so. ELI’S CAR. INT. DAY. PRIEST (nods) So they were raised in the church. STREET. Eli’s convertible skids through the turn on to Archer Avenue. He whispers: ELI Here I come. He is dressed in a morning suit. DAY. Etheline rushes over next to Margot at the window. and steers toward the Tenenbaum house. but the children are three-quarters MickCatholic. Eli’s face is covered with Apache warpaint. Ari and Uzi tie Buckley’s leash around a pole in front of the house.
It’s OK. Eli sits on the floor. The lighter airmail envelopes drift about in the wind. INT. they ran over Buckley. EXT. Royal holds Ari under one arm and Uzi under the other. Chas. He is bleeding from a head wound. DAY. it to Eli. STAIRWELL. They look alarmed at his appearance. There is also a crushed mailbox. Chas runs down the steps. Chas sprints down the stairs three at a time. He sets them down. Several guests help Eli stagger to his feet. ELI Where are my shoes? Dudley finds one of Eli’s shoes in the fireplace. What? CHAS (CONTINUED) . ETHELINE Oh. ARI Dad. INT. Chas grabs Ari and Uzi. He gets back up and keeps running. ROYAL They’re OK. covered in glass and debris. Three dalmation mice dart around the room in confusion. CONTINUED: MARGOT Eli just crashed his car into the front of the house.109. barefoot. He falls and bangs against the wall. DAY. Eli puts it on. SIDEWALK. particularly the warpaint. He examines them. LIVING ROOM. and mail is scattered all over the sidewalk. He hands The wedding guests quickly begin to come out the front door and gather around the smashed car. ROYAL (CONT’D) They’re safe. DAY. He yells: CHAS Where are you? Royal and Richie stand up among the rubble. Chas runs over to them. my God.
RICHIE He saved them. Chas looks to Richie. He holds one of the canapes to him. KITCHEN. Kind of. checks him and breaks out of the room. does not appear to notice Eli’s strange appearance and injuries. and ducks into the kitchen. ROYAL Wait! DAY. Eli hesitates. INT. Buckley’s leash remains tied to the railing and extends taut beneath the wheels of Eli’s car. DAY. He did? He says blankly: CHAS Eli Richie nods. Eli takes it quickly. Eli! CHAS The guests panic as Eli jumps over a couch. appears in the broken front window of the home. Royal nods. Royal shrugs. HALLWAY. He Pagoda looks up from a tray of canapes he is preparing. Eli body(CONTINUED) . banging his way through the crowd. He screams: Chas bursts into the house. Ari and Uzi start to cry.110. ELI (CONT’D) Is everybody okay? Eli sees Chas staring at him. ROYAL I think we lost Buckley. Chas smashes open the door. He darts away from the window. He turns to the wreckage. Richie brushes some debris off Uzi’s hair. PAGODA This is the quail’s egg. Chas! INT. Chas bolts up the steps. knocks over a chair. Chas looks to Royal. He looks to Chas and points to Royal. CONTINUED: Chas looks to Royal. ELI Did I hit anybody? Everyone looks to Eli.
EXT. They look stunned. next to Eli. He throws Eli over the wall. He and Chas look at each other. Chas? Chas hesitates.111. CHAS ELI (pause) I need help. Richie falls backwards into the bushes. He seems drained. Chas grabs him by the arm. It is very quiet. Chas lies down on the ground. (CONTINUED) . He has his hand over his eye. Help! ELI Please! Chas yells insanely. Eli scratches and clutches. DAY. Chas picks up Eli and tries to throw him over the wall. There are bonsai trees all around them. CHAS ELI (pause) Is he dead? Yeah. Chas lands in a Zen garden. They both stare up at the sky. It is locked. Eli runs to the back wall and tries the gate. CONTINUED: They slam past the priest and knock him down the basement stairs. Richie sits up in the bushes. Chas tackles him hard. RICHIE He climbs over the wall. DAY. and slams him against the wall. BACKYARD. He turns to everyone watching him. Eli yells. EXT. People rush into the backyard. Chas elbows Richie in the face. ELI Did I hit the dog? Yeah. Chas! RICHIE Don’t! Richie tries to pull Chas off Eli. Eli is stretched out on his back. NEIGHBOR’S YARD. swings him around. The wedding guests scream and yell and try to break it up or get away. Chas breathes heavily. Eli slips out the back door and sprints into the garden. Richie runs outside.
112. ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ve been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. Henry and Royal run around the corner and up the steps of a neighbor’s house. a tow-truck and a fire engine in front of the house. them. CONTINUED: CHAS So do I. Royal. ROYAL Well. That’s just my style. ma’am? We got a couple of boys out there. Royal looks to Henry. I appreciate that. PARAMEDIC I think he may’ve broken his ankle. (CONTINUED) . EXT. an ambulance. Raleigh holds the priest’s hand. But I’d feel pretty blue if I didn’t think you were going to forgive me. A plaque next to the front door says “Residence of the Japanese Ambassador. He says suddenly: ROYAL Can I say something to you. EMBASSY. A small Asian woman in a kimono looks out at ROYAL (CONT’D) Can we get into your backyard. Walter looks over the top of the wall. They wait. down at Chas and Eli. Henry? Henry looks to Royal. He says gently: HENRY I don’t think you’re an asshole. There are two police cars.” Royal knocks. Henry nods. He looks back behind him and yells to someone: WALTER Go around to the other side! EXT. Raleigh and two paramedics roll the priest on a gurney. Royal seems genuinely moved by this remark. The door opens. You’re just a kind of a son of a bitch. SIDEWALK. DAY. DAY.
POLICE OFFICER I love your work. Royal stands among a group of firemen with a dalmation. Sparkplug. Dusty stands with Richie on the sidewalk and examines his eye. ROYAL I think he’s part mutt. and there are several bandages on his head and arms. CONTINUED: RALEIGH That’s not terribly serious. The dalmation sits. DUSTY Can you see out of it? Richie covers his good eye to test his bad eye. papers you got for him? One of the firemen shrugs. What kind of Royal points at the dalmation. and killed that poor dog. Royal looks impressed. indeed. ROYAL (CONT’D) Sit. smashed it into the house. is it? (to the priest) Do you have an alternative? The priest shakes his head. (CONTINUED) . POLICE OFFICER You’re Eli Cash. ELI (touched) How sweet of you to say so. It is scratched badly and looks terrible. The police officer studies Eli’s driver’s license.113. He looks very upset. His warpaint is smeared. RICHIE Not really. ELI (pause) I am. ELI At which point I apparently lost control of the vehicle. Eli is being questioned by a police officer.
Walter points to the rubble. You did? Royal nods. CONTINUED: (2) DUSTY Uh-huh.114. ROYAL I got you a new dog for the boys. but there’s nothing we can do for him. CHAS What’s this? ROYAL I just bought him. Etheline goes over to them. at the moment. Dad. ARI But Buckley’s still under there. (CONTINUED) . HENRY It doesn’t matter. Ari and Uzi try to look at Buckley under Eli’s car as several firemen and tow-truck drivers attach straps and chains to the wheels and axle. Dudley laughs crazily. Minor corneal damage. Raleigh and Dudley stand next to each other wearing firemen’s helmets. RALEIGH What’s so funny. Page me if it spreads to the other eye. Chas looks at the dalmation. ETHELINE I know. It’s still best to file under force majeure and recoup the deductible. Dudley? DUDLEY You look great! Henry and Walter survey the scene from the smashed-out living room window. WALTER But these aren’t structure-bearing elements. CHAS He looks back to Royal. Royal takes the dalmation over to Chas. Silence. ETHELINE You boys come over here with me.
ROYAL I know you have. next to the falcon in its coop. Richie and Margot sit near the edge of the roof. EXT. Royal looks back at her. Etheline looks to Royal. Richie has an ice pack over his eye. DAY. All of you. He nods. I’m sure he’ll get over it. CHAS What’s his name? ROYAL (quietly) Sparkplug. Royal puts his hand on Chas’ head. (pause) Sometimes when people have a traumatic experience.115. ROOF. Chassie. Ari takes the leash. Chas looks to Royal and takes a deep breath. MARGOT I wonder what happened to him. Margot says quietly: MARGOT Well. (CONTINUED) . Etheline smiles sadly. Royal holds out the leash. Royal watches as Chas takes the dalmation over to Ari and Uzi and talks to them quietly for a minute. CHAS We’ve had a rough year. He brushes his hand against the white feathers on the falcon’s neck. He takes it. Thank you. Silence. Dad. Chas suddenly starts crying. CHAS Chas hesitates. Chas. He stares at the ground. RICHIE I don’t know. CONTINUED: (3) ROYAL I’m sorry I let you down. Uzi pets the dalmation. their hair turns white. ROYAL You’re welcome. I’ve been trying to make it up to you.
She pulls out a loose brick. She takes her inhaler out of her mouth and puts it in her pocket. The dalmation sits on the ground next to them. It is still sealed.) Royal dug a hole for Buckley behind the garden shed. She turns and looks at the top of the chimney. DAY. boys. and she lights it. MARGOT (CONT’D) This was one of my first hiding places. She takes a puff. EXT.116. and buried him in a canvas duffle bag. OFFICE. ROYAL All right. Henry has his left hand raised and his right hand on a bible. HENRY So help me God. Henry and Etheline stand side by side in front of a judge in a small office with green carpet and an exercise bicycle. Say a prayer -- Ari begins. DAY. She points at the chimney. and they smoke their stale cigarettes together. Richie nods. Uzi and Chas watch Royal throw dirt on to a grave in the backyard. but the wrapper has faded. Ari. NARRATOR (V. She reaches behind it and takes out a pack of cigarettes and a matchbook. CONTINUED: Richie nods. Chas hands Royal a bottle of scotch. with a jawbreaker in his mouth: ARI Dear Heavenly Father -INT. Margot puts her arm around Richie’s shoulder. RICHIE How old you think those are? Margot opens the pack. GARDEN. (CONTINUED) . and Royal takes a drink. He takes it. puts it in her mouth.O. Richie studies the pack of cigarettes. MARGOT I’d say about ten years. They have tears in their eyes. Margot offers him a cigarette. She looks to Richie. Margot looks at him for a minute. takes out a cigarette. and lights it.
CONTINUED: The judge extends the Bible to Etheline.O. She puts her hand NARRATOR (V. Brooks College. FATHER This is my adopted daughter. NARRATOR (V. smoking a cigarette. Royal sits in the front row with the other Tenenbaums. was produced at the Cavendish Theatre. under the marquee. THEATRE. Raleigh takes a question. in judge’s chambers. MEDICAL STUDENT Can he tell time? RALEIGH Oh. no. INT. NARRATOR (CONT’D) It ran for just under two weeks and received mixed reviews.) Etheline and Henry were married fortyeight hours later. The house is sold out. AUDITORIUM.O.O. INSERT: (CONTINUED) . my Lord. Dudley shakes his head emphatically. He laughs quietly and shakes his head. DAY. Raleigh and Dudley sit onstage at a table in front of an audience of doctors and medical students. The Levinsons in the Trees. NIGHT.) Raleigh and Dudley went on a lecture tour to eleven universities in the promotion of their new book.117. CUT TO: Margot standing alone outside the theatre. on it. A father introduces his daughter to a group of native tribesmen. NARRATOR (V. The rest of the audience is silent.) Margot’s new play. A stage-set for a play that appears to take place in a network of tree houses on a tropical island. Elaine Levinson. INT.
Eli points to him. HOSPITAL. On the dust jacket there is a yearbook photograph of Dudley with his Henry Aaron-style glasses flipped up.118. 375TH STREET Y ROOFTOP. Richie has a white gauze patch taped over his eye.) Richie started a programme teaching competitive tennis to eight. Richie fires his return full-speed straight down the line. DAY. A tall. skinny.to twelveyear-olds at the 375th Street Y.O. NARRATOR (V. Eli practices with a lasso in front of several young addicts. Uzi hits a fast serve to Richie’s forehand. He has stitches on his forehead. INT. A concrete tennis court with a chain-link net. RICHIE Rod Laver used it. Chas. He and Eli are dressed in matching deerskin jackets. Ari and Uzi ride on the back of a speeding garbage truck. His expression is almost impossibly blank. They are all laughing. Runs with Two Horses. Royal.O. Ari.O. Uzi watches it race past him. Uzi and a group of children dressed in tennis clothes watch as Richie demonstrates the continental style of grip to them. Dudley’s World. NARRATOR (V. STREET. EXT. ready to serve. NARRATOR (V. EXT.) Eli checked himself into a rehabilitation hospital in North Dakota. DAY. DAY. A resort compound on the high plains. is? You know who Laver He bounces a ball and gets Uzi steps up to the service line. Native American man in his late forties walks over to Eli. ELI This is my sponsor. CONTINUED: A copy of Raleigh’s new book. .) Royal had a heart attack at the age of sixty-eight.
Raleigh. Eli stands next to Walter. They step away from the grave. CEMETERY. he stipulated that his funeral take place at dusk. The ambulance races full-speed up the wrong side of the street. and was the only witness to his father’s death. Royal is strapped on to a gurney with tubes sticking out of his arms and an oxygen mask on his face. INT.THE END -- . Ari and Uzi fire several shots into the air with Chas’ and Royal’s old BB guns. NARRATOR (V. Chas looks to Ari and Uzi standing a few yards away. Henry stands next to Etheline. Royal’s gravestone sits in a wheelbarrow next to a pile of dirt. AMBULANCE. Richie throws a white flower into the grave.O. looks up at Chas. They all stand in silence for a minute before they turn away and walk to their waiting car. Chas sits beside him. EXT. Henry. They are all bundled up in coats and scarves. Margot has her arm around Richie’s shoulder. Pagoda wears Royal’s sunglasses. -. He smiles slightly. The priest is on crutches. INSERT: Page 275 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Tears stream down his face. He nods.) Chas rode with him in the ambulance.119. It says “Epilogue. and the sky is getting dark. Richie. Eli. Dusty and Pagoda lower the casket. Raleigh stands next to Dudley.” The priest sees this and hesitates. DAY. Chas puts his hand on Royal’s cheek. Royal appears to be smiling underneath his oxygen mask. It reads “Royal O’Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001). Royal closes his eyes. holding his hand. Everyone in the family is gathered around as Chas. She takes his arm. NARRATOR (CONT’D) In his will. Dusty stands beside him. DAY. He looks puzzled. She smokes a cigarette.” He Snow falls lightly.” Epitaph: “Died tragically rescuing his family from the wreckage of a destroyed sinking battleship.
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