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MAIN CAST ROYAL TENENBAUM ETHELINE TENENBAUM CHAS TENENBAUM MARGOT TENENBAUM RICHIE TENENBAUM ELI CASH HENRY SHERMAN RALEIGH ST. CLAIR DUSTY PAGODA NARRATOR ARI TENENBAUM UZI TENENBAUM Gene Hackman Anjelica Houston Ben Stiller Gwyneth Paltrow Luke Wilson Owen Wilson Danny Glover Bill Murray Seymour Cassel Kumar Pallana Alec Baldwin Grant Rosenmeyer Jonah Meyerson
INSERT: A first edition copy of The Royal Tenenbaums. On the dust jacket there is an illustration of a creamcolored note card that looks like a wedding invitation. title of the book is engraved on the card. The next page says “Chapter One.” NARRATOR (V.O.) Royal Tenenbaum bought the house on Archer Avenue in the winter of his thirty-fifth year. CUT TO: A five-story limestone townhouse. A forty-three-year-old man in a raincoat rings the front doorbell. He is Royal. NARRATOR (CONT’D) Over the next decade, he and his wife had three children and then they separated. INT. DINING ROOM. DAY. He is surrounded by The
Royal sits at the head of a long table. his children.
Chas is twelve, with curly hair, dressed in a black suit and tie. Margot is ten, with a barrette in her hair, wearing a knitted LaCoste dress and penny loafers. Richie is eight, with long hair, parted on the side, dressed in a Bjorn Borgstyle tennis outfit with a headband. Chas wears a blank expression, Margot looks as if she is about to cry, and Richie has tears all over his face. MARGOT Are you getting divorced? ROYAL (gently) At the moment, no. good.
But it doesn’t look
RICHIE Do you still love us? ROYAL Of course, I do. CHAS (pointedly) Do you still love Mom?
2. CONTINUED: ROYAL Very much. But she asked me to leave, and I had to respect her position on the matter. MARGOT Was it our fault? ROYAL (long pause) No. Obviously, we had to make certain sacrifices as a result of having children, but no. Lord, no. RICHIE Why’d she ask you to leave? ROYAL (sadly) I don’t really know any more. Maybe I wasn’t as true to her as I could’ve been. CHAS Well, she says -ROYAL Let’s not rehash it, Chassie. An Indian man with salt-and-pepper hair, dressed in pink pants, a white shirt and a white apron, comes in from the kitchen with a Martini on a tray. He is Pagoda. NARRATOR (V.O.) They were never legally divorced. Pagoda hands Royal the Martini. ROYAL Thanks, Pagoda. INT. HALLWAY. DAY.
A gallery of the children’s art, done mostly in crayon, but with beautiful frames and careful lighting. The subject matter includes: spaceships, wild animals, sailboats, motorcycles, and war scenes with tanks and paratroopers. A stuffed and mounted boar’s head with its teeth bared hangs in the stairwell. A label on it says “Wild Javelina, Andes Mountains.” Under the stairs there is a telephone room the size of a closet. Old messages are tacked to the walls, and the children’s heights are marked on the door frame. A thirty-three-year-old woman with a scarf around her neck and sunglasses on top of her head talks on a rotary telephone. She is Etheline. (CONTINUED)
3. CONTINUED: Richie sits on her lap reading an Atlas of the World. Margot sits on a foot-stool reading The Cherry Orchard. Chas stands in the doorway with a slip of blue paper in his hand. NARRATOR (V.O.) Etheline Tenenbaum kept the house and raised the children, and their education was her highest priority. Etheline says into the telephone: ETHELINE I’ll hold, thank you. CHAS I need $187. ETHELINE (pause) Write yourself a check. Chas hands Etheline the slip of blue paper. INSERT: A cheque made out in the amount of $187. Etheline signs it. CUT TO: Chas taking back the cheque. telephone: Bene. Si. Etheline says into the
ETHELINE (CONT’D) Grazie mille.
Etheline hangs up. There is a schedule of activities -guitar, ballet, yoga, scuba-diving -- written on a chalkboard behind her and divided into columns labelled Chas, Richie and Margot. She changes an Italian lesson from 4:30 to 5:30. NARRATOR (V.O.) She wrote a book on the subject. INSERT: A copy of Etheline Tenenbaum’s book, Family of Geniuses. On the dust jacket there is a photograph of the three children conducting a press conference in a room crowded with journalists. It appears to have been published in the late seventies. CUT TO: The press conference. Chas points to a reporter.
CHAS The gentleman in the blue cardigan, please. (CONTINUED)
4. CONTINUED: (2) REPORTER I have a two-part question. CHAS DAY.
Thank you. Go ahead. INT. CHAS’ BEDROOM.
Chas’ room looks like a businessman’s office, except it is very small and has bunk beds. There is a desk with an Apple II computer and an electric coffee pot on it. There is a water cooler in the corner, with a paper cup dispenser. Chas stands talking on the telephone while Etheline brings in his lunch on a tray. NARRATOR (V.O.) Chas Tenenbaum had, since elementary school, taken most of his meals in his room, standing up at his desk with a cup of coffee, to save time. On a shelf in an alcove there are ten cages connected together by plastic tubes. White mice with tiny black spots all over them race around outside the cages. Chas feeds one of them a drop of blue liquid from a test tube. NARRATOR (CONT’D) In the sixth grade, he went into business, breeding dalmation mice, which he sold to a pet shop in Little Tokyo. There are twenty-five pinstriped suits in boys’ size twelve and an electric tie rack hanging in the closet. Chas pushes a button on the tie rack and the ties glide along a track. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He started buying real estate in his early teens and seemed to have an almost preternatural understanding of international finance. There are a small weightlifting bench and punchbag in the corner. There is a set of exercise charts neatly drawn with felt-tip pen tacked on the wall. Chas bench-presses about fifty pounds on a small barbell. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He negotiated the purchase of his father’s summer house on Eagle’s Island. EXT. BACKYARD. DAY.
A house in the country. Chas crouches in the bushes with a BB gun. Across the lawn, he sees two younger boys with BB guns drop down from a tree. (CONTINUED)
5. CONTINUED: One of the boys is Richie, and the other has nearly-white blond hair. He is Eli. He wears Apache warpaint. Chas gets Richie in his sights. ROYAL Hold it, Chassie. Chas freezes. He looks up and sees Royal watching from the roof with a BB gun trained on him. Royal is dressed in khaki pants, sunglasses and no shirt. CHAS What are you doing? ROYAL (hesitates) There are no teams. Royal fires. Chas screams and fires back as Royal scrambles away, laughing. NARRATOR (V.O.) The BB was still lodged between two knuckles in Chas’ left hand. INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. DAY. You’re on my team!
The walls of Margot’s room are red, with little running zebras painted all over them. There is a collection of African masks hanging in the corner. Margot sits at a small metal stand, typing on an IBM typewriter. NARRATOR (V.O.) Margot Tenenbaum was adopted at the age of two. Her father had always noted this when introducing her. CUT TO: A cocktail party. Royal introduces Margot to a group of elderly men in black tie. ROYAL This is my adopted daughter, Margot Tenenbaum. Margot nods politely. CUT TO: A wall filled with bookshelves. There are thousands of books of plays. Margot takes out a copy of The Iceman Cometh. NARRATOR (V.O.) She was a playwright and won a Braverman Grant of fifty-thousand dollars in the ninth grade. (CONTINUED)
I didn’t. There are a chemistry set. Margot places a tiny canoe beneath a palm tree. They both look extremely dishevelled and tired.) Four years later.O. CUT TO: Richie and Margot sharing a Boy Scout sleeping bag on a bench in a gallery of wildlife dioramas in a darkened museum. RICHIE ELI You said I could run away. (CONTINUED) . Richie and Margot sit on a bench in front of a large Gothic building. INT. A single-file line of students in Catholic school uniforms goes past them following a museum guide. NARRATOR (V.O. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. CONTINUED: There is a mock-up of a stage set for a play that appears to have taken place in a network of tree houses on a tropical island. Margot carries a small red suitcase. Eli is at the end of the line. MARGOT No. INSERT: A pair of knitted gloves. she disappeared alone for almost two weeks and came back with half a finger missing. One finger has been clipped off at the middle knuckle and is being sewn up. Richie sits on the edge of his bed. too. DAY. He stops and stares at Margot and Richie.6. Richie is asleep. DAY. Richie’s room is in the attic. NARRATOR (CONT’D) She and her brother Richie ran away from home one winter and camped out in the African Wing of the Public Archives.) Richie Tenenbaum had been a champion tennis player since the third grade. Hi. Eli. NARRATOR (V. And don’t tell anybody you saw us. EXT. MUSEUM. Richie has on a small backpack with a sleeping bag attached to it. Margot reads a book about sharks by the light of a flashlight. a drum set and a long shelf filled with tennis trophies.
) These invitations were never extended to anyone else. . STREET. There is a ham radio set in the corner of the room. CONTINUED: There are thousands of Matchbox cars arranged on every available inch of space on tables. Richie sits at the console wearing a set of headphones. EXT. sharing a bag of peanuts and laughing. Royal and Richie stand among a group of Puerto Rican men as two large. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He kept a studio in the corner of the ballroom but had failed to develop as a painter. They both watch as Royal and Richie get out of a gypsy cab in front of the house. Royal yells along with the others: Vamanos! ROYAL Andale! Royal throws a fifty-dollar bill into a pile of money on the sidewalk.O. Richie parks a little Maserati next to a dune buggy. Nationals three years in a row. There is a slightly run-down thirty-five-story apartment building across the street.7. NARRATOR (V. Chas sits alone in one window.S. There is a map of the world on the wall. Royal took him on outings around the city. Richie throws in a dollar. desks and window sills. NARRATOR (CONT’D) On weekends. CUT TO: A ballroom with vaulted ceilings and a giant chandelier on the top floor of the house. DAY. Margot sits alone in the next. One corner is filled with seventeen almost identical portraits of Margot looking over the top of a book with an irritated expression. NARRATOR (CONT’D) He turned pro at seventeen and won the U. vicious-looking pit bulls with scars all over them snarl at each other. with colored pins stuck in different cities. CUT TO: The second floor of the Tenenbaum house. Etheline helps Richie hang a new portrait among the others. Eli sits alone in a window.
Royal sits at a table with them. NARRATOR (V. NARRATOR (V. CUT TO: The Tenenbaum house at night. Chas is a bear and Richie is a leopard. mornings before school and most afternoons. INT. Margot is a zebra. Pagoda opens the door. EXT. INT. Chas and Richie are in costumes. slippers and a bathrobe. He lets Eli inside. (CONTINUED) . DAY. A two-room apartment with a crucifix on the wall. DAY. STREET. Dad? ROYAL It didn’t seem believable to me. There is a small stage-set across the room for a play that appears to have taken place on a ship. APARTMENT. He wears a set of house keys on a string around his neck.O. An elderly woman works at a sewing machine in the next room. Margot. BALLROOM. There are twenty eleven-year-olds wearing party hats. drinking a glass of whiskey.O. Eli is dressed in pajamas. Eli finishes making his bed and folds it into the couch. He is dressed in pajamas. holidays. NIGHT.O. NARRATOR (CONT’D) The three Tenenbaum children performed Margot’s first play on the night of her eleventh birthday. Eli walks up the front steps of the Tenenbaum house and rings the doorbell. NARRATOR (V. There are strings of colored lights glowing around the front door and white paper bags with candles in them on the steps.) He was a regular fixture at family gatherings.) They had agreed to invite their father to the party.8.) Richie’s best friend Eli Cash lived with his aunt in a building across the street. Royal rings the front doorbell. He carries a small package wrapped in red-and-pinkstriped paper with a white ribbon on it. CHAS What’d you think.
O. Etheline stands in the doorway with a birthday cake on a tray. The falcon has a hood over its eyes. She is silent. Royal says to Eli: Do you ROYAL (CONT’D) Why are you wearing pajamas? live here? RICHIE He has permission to sleep over. Everyone begins to sing “Happy Birthday. The candles are lit. (CONTINUED) . CHAS Did you think the characters were -ROYAL What characters? It was just a bunch of little kids dressed in animal costumes.9. She looks furious. ROYAL Sweetie. Margot quickly collects her unopened presents from the table.) In fact. failure and disaster. virtually all memory of the brilliance of the young Tenenbaums had been erased by two decades of betrayal. Richie opens the coop. Mordecai. There is a large antenna for Richie’s ham radio and a wooden coop with a falcon in it. and feeds him some sardines from a tin. That’s just The lights go down. one man’s opinion. Etheline blows out the candles. and the singing disintegrates. NARRATOR He had not been invited to any of their parties since. Richie carries the falcon on his arm to the edge of the roof. everyone. carefully removes the falcon’s hood.” Margot walks out of the room. RICHIE Go. NARRATOR (V. Pagoda stands at the light switch. EXT. ROOF. Royal shakes his head. MARGOT Goodnight. CONTINUED: Chas looks at Margot. DAY. Don’t get mad. She puts Royal’s aside and sets it in front of him. Royal looks across the room.
All three have extremely curly black hair. A tailor pulls at the hem of the jacket and sticks pins in the sleeves. (CONTINUED) . She holds an open copy of a book of plays by George Bernard Shaw. black hair with one silver streak that runs through it. Eli Cash is in the fitting room of a clothing store having a white buckskin jacket with fringe taken in. He is getting a facial. They are also shaving. and excitedly dictates something into it. He has a full. She wears a pink slip and a gold locket. white at the temples. They are eight and ten. She holds up a pair of prescription sunglasses and looks at herself. Royal lights a cigarette at the end of a three-inch holder. and there are strips of blue cellophane covering his face. She is smoking a cigarette. Clair brushes his teeth with an electric toothbrush in a very small. and Royal looks in the mirror. Ari and Uzi Tenenbaum are on either side of him. white-tiled bathroom. Her hair is being dyed. gray beard and round glasses. and there are little clamps and bits of foil twisted into it. The tailor’s helper brings Eli a cup of tea and some cucumber sandwiches. He stops suddenly. She is fifty-five and has long. Etheline Tenenbaum draws eyeliner around her eyes in the dressing mirror. Margot Tenenbaum is at a hairdresser’s with three people working on her at once. He is now sixty-six. Releigh St. Steam fills the air. A woman in a white apron lifts off the towel. but with no blades in their razors.) Royal Tenenbaum sits in a chair in his hotel suite with no shirt on and a towel wrapped around his face. He puts the tape recorder back on the sink and starts brushing his teeth again. Chas Tenenbaum shaves in the locker room of a boxing gym. The wall behind her is filled with portraits of tribesmen and native warriors from around the world. picks up a tape recorder off the edge of the sink. with grey hair. The woman quickly peels them away and begins to massage his temples. He puts it on at an angle and stares at himself. She lowers them and does her lipstick. She has one fake finger made of wood. and she blows a puff of smoke as the hair dryer is lowered onto her head. CONTINUED: The falcon spreads its wings and lunges into the sky. worn very long in the back. A second helper hands him a short-brimmed Stetson cowboy hat. MONTAGE: (The names of each of our characters and the names of the actors playing them appear over the following shots. He is thirty-six and in top fighting condition. She is thirty-four.10. and he is dressed in red silk pajamas with white piping. Eli picks out a sandwich.
Richie Tenenbaum looks at himself in the mirror in his stateroom on board an ocean liner. It is signed H. The manager of the hotel stands in front of Royal with a piece of paper in his hand. DAY. There is a set of Encyclopedia Britannica. a headband. and takes a picture of himself. A towel on the dresser says The Cote d’Ivoire in red stitching. smiles sadly. the Landlord. HOTEL ROOM. parted on the side. There are shelves full of law books and hundreds of spy novels in stacks on the floor. Royal lies on his stomach on a massage table getting a massage from a young Asian woman. The ocean goes by at a fast clip in the porthole behind him.) Royal had lived in the Lindbergh Palace Hotel for twenty-two years. MANAGER I’ve been instructed to refuse any further charges on your room account and to direct you in writing to please vacate the premises by the end of the month. INSERT: Page 22 of The Royal Tenenbaums. He wears a khaki suit. INT. He is a tall black man. with long hair. the masseuse. Sherman. He puts the camera back into his pocket and goes out the door. He takes out a little camera.” Royal’s suite at the Lindbergh Palace Hotel. It says “Chapter Two. He is thirty-two. NARRATOR (V.11. a striped tennis shirt. underneath a row of mailboxes. ROYAL What about Sing-Sang? hundred. There is a hand-lettered sign regarding trash and recycling taped to the wall behind him. The manager hands Royal the piece of paper. and a beard.O. with grey hair and a moustache. an exercise bicycle and a Xerox machine. He wears a doublebreasted navy blazer. CONTINUED: (2) Henry Sherman stands in front of a mirrored wall in a vestibule of his building. INSERT: (CONTINUED) . I owe her a Royal points to The manager looks to the masseuse. and penny loafers. He carefully folds a checkered handkerchief and tucks it into his breast pocket. fifty-six years old. He points it at his reflection. in red ink.
The radio room on board the Cote d’Ivoire. when he was disbarred and briefly imprisoned. I’m in the middle of the ocean. RICHIE Read it back to me so far. There are computer terminals. I’ve never been more lonely in my life. . RADIO OPERATOR Dear Eli. short-wave radios. and a crew of technicians in white uniforms. and an oil tanker in the distance. RADIO ROOM. CONTINUED: A letter typed on Lindbergh Palace Hotel stationary. Pietro. INT. NARRATOR (CONT’D) No one in his family had spoken to him in three years. RICHIE New paragraph. DAY. He lights a cigarette. She does not appear to understand English. begins: Dear Mr. The radio operator looks to Richie. The manager hesitates. maps on the walls. The radio operator finishes typing a message into a keyboard and looks up to Richie. It MANAGER Can you pay her in cash? Royal shakes his head. and I think I’m in love with Margot. NARRATOR (V. CUT TO: Royal standing in the window looking out at the falling snow as Sing-Sang folds up the massage table behind him. Tenenbaum.) He was a prominent litigator until the mid-eighties. In light of your continuing failure to remit any form of payment. we have no -CUT TO: The masseuse. (CONTINUED) Richie nods. There is a mist outside the window. I haven’t left my room in four days.12.O.
And they rode on in the friscalating dusklight.) Richie had retired from professional tennis at twenty-six. CONTINUED: Richie takes a sip of a Bloody Mary.O. Richie signs a slip of paper and hands it to the radio operator. On the cover. Richie. amigos.O. He closes his book. The recent publication of his second novel -(CONTINUED) .O. His voice is quietly dramatic. End of letter. he whispered. He wears no shoes and only one sock. five oceans. The stands behind him are filled with confused fans. NARRATOR (V. “Tenenbaum suffers midmatch nervous collapse in the semis at Windswept Fields. there is a photograph of Richie standing at the baseline of a tennis court. A telegram marked “Ship to Shore” is tucked into his coat pocket. INSERT: A copy of the Sporting Press magazine.) Eli was an assistant professor of English Literature at Brooks College. He wraps a scarf around his neck and goes out the door. The audience applauds NARRATOR (V. A caption across the page says “Meltdown!” And. the Amazon and the Nile. in smaller letters. Vamanos. Eli looks up. Eli stands at a podium reading from a book to a crowded audience. NIGHT. His last match had been widely discussed in the media. LIBRARY. and threw the busted leather flintscraw over the loose weave of the saddlecock. and there are tears all over his face. uproariously. RICHIE Your friend. NARRATOR (V.” CUT TO: Richie dictating to the radio operator.13. INT.) For the past year he had been traveling alone on an ocean liner called the Cote d’Ivoire and had seen both poles. ELI The crickets and the rust-beetles scuttled among the nettles of the sagethicket.
) -. INT.O. Old Custer. unexpected literary celebrity. do you genius? Someone gives Eli a book to sign. On the dust jacket there is an illustration of an Indian in warpaint with a long. NARRATOR (V. BATHROOM. and she has a towel wrapped around her. He says sadly: ELI (CONT’D) You didn’t even have to think about it. He unfolds a newspaper clipping and looks at it while he waits. everyone knows Custer died at Little Bighorn.14. NIGHT. did you? INT. CONTINUED: INSERT: A copy of Eli Cash’s latest book. There are cotton balls between her toes. What this book presupposes is: (tentatively) maybe he didn’t? Eli shrugs and smiles. NIGHT. (CONTINUED) . CUT TO: Eli standing near the circulation desk with a group of professors drinking cocktails. Eli walks among the card catalogues surrounded by a crowd of admirers. CUT TO: Eli placing a call from a pay phone in the lobby. He scribbles his name on it and hands it back without looking. The bathroom of Margot’s and Raleigh’s apartment. He says suddenly into the receiver: ELI (CONT’D) Let me ask you something.had earned him a sudden. reviewer make the point of someone’s not a genius? I think I’m especially not a Isn’t that -Why would a saying mean. bloody knife clasped between his teeth and a yellow scalp hanging from his hand. ELI Well. Margot sits Indian-style on the counter painting her toenails red and talking on the telephone. LOBBY.
He is wearing red pajamas and a camel’s-hair bathrobe. On the dust jacket. There is knock on the door. Margot takes a drag of a cigarette balanced at the edge of the sink. and sprays perfume into the air with an atomizer. Margot? RALEIGH There is another knock. She waves the smoke away. The Peculiar Neurodegenerative Inhabitants of the Kazawa Atoll.dressed in a Speedo. standing next to a Kasawa. with goggles on top of his head -. turns on a little electric fan. there is a photograph of Raleigh -.) Margot was married to the writer and neurologist Raleigh St. Margot whispers into the telephone: MARGOT Well. CUT TO: Raleigh looking in the bathroom doorway. RALEIGH How are you. He seems worried and intimidated. A little black-andwhite television set is tuned in to the six o’clock news with the sound turned off. please? Margot puts out her cigarette.15. INSERT: A copy of Raleigh St. Margot answers without taking the cigarette out of her mouth. Uh-huh? MARGOT RALEIGH May I come in. Raleigh has an English accent with a lisp. The Kasawa stares at him curiously. Margot hangs up the telephone. Eli.O. Clair’s latest book. Raleigh cracks open the door and looks inside. NARRATOR (V. She reaches over and unlocks the door with her foot. Clair. I just don’t use that word lightly. MARGOT (CONT’D) I have to go. CONTINUED: Hot water runs full blast in the bathtub. my darling? (CONTINUED) . Margot does not look up.on a beach.
NARRATOR (CONT’D) She kept a private studio in Mockingbird Heights under the name Helen Scott. For example. NARRATOR (CONT’D) Nor were they aware of her first marriage and divorce to a recording artist in Jamaica.) She was known for her extreme secrecy. Margot blows on her toenails. He goes out suddenly and closes the door. NARRATOR (V. Margot reaches over with her foot and locks it. .16. CONTINUED: (2) MARGOT Fine. She takes it out and lights it. Shall I make A small room with one wooden chair and a metal stand with an IBM electric typewriter on it.O. The wooden one makes a clicking sound. Margot opens a box of Q-Tips. She is dressed in a string bikini. The titles include: Static Electricity. There are posters for several of Margot’s plays leaning against the walls. your dinner? MARGOT No. Margot taps her fingers on the counter. A younger Margot stands behind them partly hidden in the door frame. DAY. There is a cigarette hidden inside. STUDIO. Raleigh hesitates. INT. On the sleeve there is a photograph of five Rastafarians standing in front of a metal shack. Erotic Transference and Nakedness Tonight.) She had not completed a play in seven years. RALEIGH You must eat something. thank you. She looks to Raleigh. which she had been since the age of twelve. INSERT: A remaindered copy of Desmond Winston Manchester XI’s LP record Dynamite Stick.O. none of the Tenenbaums knew she was a smoker. NARRATOR (V. thank you.
Make yours look like mine.17. moving his blocks around slowly. Raleigh sits at a table. Raleigh whispers into his tape recorder: RALEIGH (CONT’D) Dudley suffers from a rare disorder combining the symptoms of amnesia. RALEIGH’S LABORATORY. He wears Henry Aaron-style flip-up sunglasses. A cardboard screen stands in between the two sets of blocks. NARRATOR (V. DUDLEY He shakes his head. How CUT TO: Raleigh sitting in a corner.) Raleigh’s next book was on the subject of a condition he called Heinsbergen’s Syndrome. RALEIGH My goodness. INT. Raleigh and Dudley both have a set of building blocks in front of them. Third examination of Dudley Heinsbergen. Raleigh’s are arranged in the shape of a symmetrical cross. Dudley sets to work. DAY. bizarre. How interesting. across from a fifteen-year-old boy in a plaid fishing hat with “Dudley” stitched across the front. Raleigh lifts the cardboard screen and looks to Dudley.O. Dudley finishes arranging his blocks into the shape of a lopsided octagon with branches coming out of it. Dudley. with a highly acute sense of hearing. Raleigh’s basement. Raleigh is dressed in a turtleneck shirt and a corduroy blazer with suede patches on the elbows. Done. Raleigh says into his tape recorder: RALEIGH Seventeen October. Dudley’s are strewn out randomly. dyslexia and color-blindness. RALEIGH (CONT’D) All right. Dudley stands on the far side of the room misspelling words on a chalkboard. The boy has an earphone in his ear. (CONTINUED) Raleigh begins to laugh quietly. .
He turns on the lantern. He yells at the top of his lungs: CHAS Fire alarm! Ari! alive! Uzi! Let’s go! Look Ari bolts out of the top bunk. Ari’s and Uzi’s bedroom. He is shirtless and has on pajama bottoms. which blasts a recording of a police siren at full volume. It is perfectly neat and organized like a military barracks. In the other hand. He puts on a pair of cleats and grabs the turtle out of the fish tank. INT. It looks like a museum. Ari and Uzi are sound asleep in their bunk beds. CHAS’ APARTMENT. Chas runs around the room. There is a turtle in a fish tank in the corner. NARRATOR (V. Uzi sits up. In one hand. and underwear. He screams: Uzi! INT. He presses play on the tape recorder. He hesitates. NIGHT. HALLWAY.18. am I? Raleigh looks to Dudley. The apartment is extremely large and spare. Chas stands in the doorway.) Chas’ wife. Chas and Uzi rush into the hallway.O. RALEIGH (CONT’D) There is also evidence of -DUDLEY I’m not color-blind. He looks half asleep. CONTINUED: Dudley turns around suddenly and frowns. which begins blinking rapidly in a strobe effect. Rachael. Chas yells to Ari: Uzi has on a pajama top (CONTINUED) . There are two fire extinguishers and a large firstaid kit mounted on the wall. Ari presses the button for the elevator and waits. was killed in a plane crash the previous summer. RALEIGH I’m afraid you are. His expression is blank. he holds a small tape recorder. he holds a fishing lantern. CHAS (CONT’D) Let’s go! NIGHT. He looks to Uzi. There are night lights in every socket. tipping over chairs and blasting the tape recorder.
The lantern is still blinking. STAIRWELL. CHAS Four minutes and forty-eight seconds. Uzi starts to cry. looking up at the building. The beagle is asleep next to the bathtub on a little bed with “Buckley” written on it. INSERT: A slide projected onto a screen. Ari and Uzi stand on the sidewalk. BATHROOM. It stops. CONTINUED: CHAS No elevators! There’s a fire! INT. The boys wear camp shorts and no shirts.19. who was discovered in his cage several thousand yards from the crash site. as did their dog. CUT TO: A dog’s cage upside down in the desert surrounded by scraps of metal and clothing. NIGHT. UZI What about Buckley? CHAS You forgot him. NIGHT. He looks very old and has white fur around his eyes. The wind blows her dress sideways. His breathing is wheezy. The mother has on sunglasses with a scarf tied over her hair. We’re all dead. and she is laughing. INT. Chas’ siren can be heard in the distance outside the window. (CONTINUED) . EXT. The street is deserted. A cloud of smoke billows in the distance. Ari and Uzi and their mother stand in front of a small plane outside a hangar.) Chas and their two sons. There is a beagle looking out of the window of the plane. SIDEWALK. The tape recorder has been turned off. Chas picks up Uzi. Ari and Uzi.O. were also on the flight and survived. Uzi is doing a karate stance. NIGHT. Burned to a crisp. Chas. They race down the stairs. NARRATOR (V. Chas turns off the lantern and presses stop on his stopwatch.
CONTINUED: Chas shakes his head. The doorman watches uneasily from the lobby. The back doors are open on to the garden. Henry stands up. Pagoda sits on a bench outside.) She taught bridge class twice a week with her friend and business manager. CHAS It doesn’t matter. A human skeleton hangs on a stand in the corner. DAY.O. There are shelves full of hundreds of bones and bits of pottery with little numbers painted on them. Uzi is still crying.) Etheline became an archaeologist and had overseen excavations for the Department of Housing and the Transit Authority. UZI We left Buckley. His hair is now white. Etheline looks up NARRATOR (V. at him curiously. HENRY Apropos of my question re: I-40 slash I9 adjustments. Chas rubs his eyes and his temples. Chas sits down on the sidewalk. ETHELINE’S STUDY. INT. Etheline is at her desk studying an arrowhead while Henry sits next to her. Henry Sherman. he had become increasingly concerned with their safety. He says quietly: The walls of Etheline’s study are filled with pre-Columbian art and primitive tools and weapons. INSERT: (CONTINUED) .O.) Over the last six months. He seems very nervous. listening to a Walkman with headphones. He looks disoriented and weak. There are stacks of National Geographics on the floor. peeling potatoes. NARRATOR (V. NARRATOR (V. Ari and Uzi look scared.O.20. He is working on her taxes.
ETHELINE What do you mean? HENRY I mean for tax purposes. CONTINUED: A copy of Henry Sherman’s book. He checks the elevation with a compass. Henry nods calmly. I didn’t. HENRY It would probably be advantageous for your marital status to be legally established as single. caption at the top of the cover says “A Guide to Personal Finance. Did you already know that? ETHELINE No. HENRY (CONT’D) I love you. in light of the circumstances. He wears a hooded fur coat and has ice frozen into his beard.21. A title identifies him as Neville Smythe-Dorleac.) Since her separation from her husband. He takes off one ear of his headphones. A CUT TO: Henry looking down at Etheline. ETHELINE (pause) But I thought it was -Etheline? Yes? HENRY ETHELINE HENRY Will you marry me? Pagoda stops peeling the potatoes. Etheline puts on her prescription sunglasses. she had had many suitors -MONTAGE: A large man stands on a glacier in Antarctica with penguins behind him.O. NARRATOR (V.” It appears to have been published in the late sixties. (CONTINUED) . Accounting for Everything.
I don’t know why I put it that way. Pagoda frowns. TELEPHONE ROOM. He smokes a cigarette. ROYAL Thanks.but had not considered a single one until this moment. DAY. He has several sets of blueprints under his arm. The elevator stops. Dusty. weathered face and wears a safari jacket. A title identifies him as Yasuo Oshima. He is Dusty. He has two bandaged shaving cuts. NARRATOR (CONT’D) -. Etheline starts to say something. She takes Henry’s hand. He has a strong. (CONTINUED) . ETHELINE Let me think about it. a red-and-pink-striped tie. ETHELINE This isn’t really a tax issue.22. Pagoda places a call. CONTINUED: (2) An Asian man in a tweed suit and large. CUT TO: Henry looking down at Etheline. Etheline smiles slightly. gray moustache and jetblack hair. a dark pink shirt. INT. Royal rides down in the elevator at the Lindbergh Palace. DAY. A title identifies him as Franklin Benedict. perfectly round glasses on a settee in a room filled with avant-garde furniture and sculpture. ELEVATOR. INT. is it? HENRY (pause) That’s true. please. PAGODA Hello. Henry. She hesitates. and a safety pin holds his glasses together. and Aristotle Onassis-style wrap-around sunglasses. surrounded by extras dressed as futuristic earthlings and aliens. Tell Mr. Royal this is the Pagoda. A white-haired man sits in a director’s chair on a sound stage. The elevator operator has a thin. He is dressed in a gray double-breasted Savile Row pinstripe suit.
CONTINUED: DUSTY You’re welcome. DAY. ROYAL What do you got? EXT. The telephone rings. BELLBOY There’s a call for you. PAGODA The black man asks her to be his wife. TELEPHONE BOOTH. INT. ROYAL (quietly) No shit? And what’d Ethel say? PAGODA She thinks about it.23. light. INT. misting rain falls. A Royal and Pagoda stand alone in the middle of a field. Mr. ROYAL I’ll take it in there. DAY. LOBBY. Pagoda. (pause) And no goddamn two-bit chartered accountant’s going to change that. INSERT: (CONTINUED) . Royal points to a little wood-paneled telephone booth. Tenenbaum. ROYAL I don’t like the sound of this one damn bit. A bellboy appears. Royal stares off into space. Who is it? ROYAL BELLBOY A Mr. Lord knows I’ve had my share of infidelities. crosses through a gigantic lobby. Royal answers it. I mean. He The elevator doors open and Royal strides out quickly. But she’s still my wife. Pagoda. DAY. CITY PARK. He shakes his head.
Chas looks back at them but keeps moving. Ari and Uzi all wear red Adidas warm-ups. Pagoda carries the fish tank with the turtle in it. ETHELINE Did you call a locksmith? CHAS (hesitates) Uh-huh. boxes. HALLWAY. Pagoda frowns. Chas. Etheline seems confused. NIGHT. toys. Buckley is at his side. Chas? ETHELINE Chas stops in the doorway. He starts down the steps. The bridge players watch strangely as they pass. It says “Chapter Three. Uzi is on the steps with a duffel bag over his shoulder and a stack of coloring books under his arm. Ari. LIVING ROOM. Most of them are in their fifties and sixties. CONTINUED: Page 50 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Buckley follows them. There are twenty people at five card tables playing bridge. boxing gloves and a computer. Pagoda. INT. Uzi. up the stairs. Buckley has a cold and coughs often. blankets. Pagoda comes into the hallway and opens the front door.” INT. (CONTINUED) . Uzi. Chas. Chas.24. Anwar and Buckley out of the room. Anwar and Pagoda come out of the hallway and cross through the living room. Etheline and Henry are among them. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What’s going on? CHAS We got locked out of our apartment. The driver is Anwar. clothes. Pagoda leads Ari. The doorbell rings. Etheline hesitates. There is a silver BMW parked at the curb with three doors and the trunk open. Ari and a uniformed driver are unpacking suitcases. They look very distinguished. struggling with all of their possessions. CHAS Give us a hand. NIGHT.
ETHELINE What are you talking about? CHAS The apartment. NIGHT. It feels like we’re Chas chuckles as he turns on his old electric tie rack. Ari and Uzi sit silently on the bunk beds in Chas’ room. She and Etheline closes the sliding door to the living room. please. Chas stand alone in the hallway. CHAS’ BEDROOM. He shrugs. we might have to do something about that. (CONTINUED) . Chas walks around the room examining things. CUT TO: Two dalmation mice chewing on a plate of hors d'oeuvres on the window sill. too. Etheline looks concerned. Etheline looks to her guests. INT. Silence.25. ETHELINE But there’s no sprinklers here. NIGHT. pretending not to notice how sad the boys look. They have dark circles under their eyes and seem exhausted. CHAS Isn’t this great? camping. Did you pack your bags before you got locked out? Or how did you -CHAS It’s not safe over there. Chas looks up and studies the ceiling. HALLWAY. either. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) I don’t understand. The bridge players watch them silently. I have to get some new sprinklers and a back-up security system installed. ETHELINE Excuse me for a moment. CHAS Well. He looks like a wreck. but acts incredibly cheerful. INT.
DAY. surrounded by a cheering crowd. CHAS (CONT’D) See you in the morning. CONTINUED: ARI When are we going home? Chas sees something across the room. He frowns. A young doctor on a rolling stool takes Royal’s blood pressure as they talk. CHAS (CONT’D) You know what? I’m going to sleep in here. Royal nods gravely. A certain percentage of patients may also experience seizure. Chas goes out the door. . It is a tennis-shoe advertisement with a picture of Richie holding a trophy over his head. DOCTOR’S OFFICE. CHAS Who put that in here? There is a framed poster leading against the wall in the corner. ROYAL What kind of side effects can be expected? DOCTOR Well. he comes back in. Uzi Royal sits on the edge of an examination table with white butcher paper on it.26. A caption across the top says “The Baumer. ROYAL You mean like flopping around on the floor and everything? DOCTOR In some cases. A moment later. Severe nausea and dizziness are standard. comes and lies down next to him. there’s a number of possibilities. INT. and that way we can all be together. He kisses Ari and Uzi goodnight. Chas spreads out a blanket on the floor and lies down.” Chas turns it around to face the wall.
ETHELINE Well. ETHELINE Raleigh says you’ve been spending six hours a day locked in here watching television and soaking in the tub. I don’t think that’s very healthy. She looks to Etheline. Margot answers without opening the door: Who is it? MARGOT ETHELINE It’s me. MARGOT I tied it to the radiator. Etheline examines the television set. my darling. RALEIGH You have a visitor. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Chas came home. Etheline and Raleigh stand outside the bathroom in Margot and Raleigh’s apartment. HALLWAY. There is a length of red twine wrapped around it and knotted to a pipe. EXT. DAY. Silence.27. A key slides from under the door to Etheline’s feet. MARGOT (pause) I doubt that. BATHROOM. Etheline has on an overcoat and gloves. ETHELINE Well. Etheline smooths back Margot’s wet hair. Raleigh knocks on the door. Raleigh looks embarrassed. INT. do you? Nor do I think it’s very intelligent to keep an electrical gadget on the edge of the bathtub. Etheline looks to Raleigh. it can’t be very good for your eyes. Margot turns off the television set with her foot. DAY. Etheline sits on the edge of the tub with her coat in her lap. sweetie. (CONTINUED) . Margot is in the bathtub watching Planet of the Apes on her little black-and-white television set. anyway.
28. Hang on. Etheline and Dudley walk behind them. I don’t know. Margot sets down her suitcases and goes into a telephone booth with graffiti spray-painted all over it. The front door of Margot and Raleigh’s apartment building opens. He watches Margot talking on the telephone. CONTINUED: MARGOT (pause) What do you mean? ETHELINE He and Ari and Uzi are going to stay with me for a little while. She closes the door and makes a call. Raleigh follows her. Margot comes out of the telephone booth. Raleigh sounds desperately unhappy. A gypsy cab pulls over. Dudley points at the taxi. ETHELINE (pause) So are you what? EXT. STREET. RALEIGH You don’t love me anymore. MARGOT (frowns) Why are they allowed to do that? ETHELINE (hesitates) Well. Margot comes out and goes down the steps with three suitcases and her TV. Etheline stands on the corner and raises her hand into the air. DUDLEY That taxi has a dent in it. exactly. But I think he’s been very depressed ever since -MARGOT (urgently) So am I. DAY. Raleigh waits uncomfortably outside the telephone booth. RALEIGH But why is this bloody necessary? MARGOT Because I’m in a rut. do you? (CONTINUED) . and I need a change.
MARGOT (gently) I’ll call you. CONTINUED: MARGOT I do. Dudley takes a bite of a graham cracker. and watching the news on her TV with the sound turned off. Eli looks out nervously and slowly emerges. He is dressed in white briefs. Etheline looks at Raleigh sadly. He whispers: ELI Hello. DUDLEY Another dent here and another dent there. Raleigh looks crestfallen. She looks at Eli strangely.29. Margot is eating potato chips. She closes the door and locks it. kind of. INT. I can’t explain it right now. MARGOT What for? ELI (shrugs) I don’t know. Raleigh has tears in his eyes. Margot puts her suitcases into Dudley continues to point at it. smoking a cigarette. beautiful. (CONTINUED) . ELI (CONT’D) Could we have dinner with your mother sometime? Margot frowns. I’d just love to see her. OK? Raleigh nods. She gets into the taxi and closes the door. Margot gets into the taxi. Raleigh and Dudley watch the taxi drive away. CUT TO: Margot and Eli in Margot’s single bed with the sheets pulled over their heads. Margot goes into her room and sets her suitcases on the floor. She whispers: Hello? MARGOT There is a rustle behind some hanging clothes. NIGHT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. She opens the door to the closet and turns on the light. the back seat of the taxi.
dammit. The next morning. ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m sick as a dog. Eli looks disappointed. hold on. ROYAL I’m dying. ETHELINE Are you crazy? ROYAL Now.30. He nods. She looks to Royal. I’m dying. you. ETHELINE What are you doing here? ROYAL I need a favor. CONTINUED: MARGOT I don’t think so. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What happened? (CONTINUED) . EXT. Eli. ETHELINE Stop following me. Royal suddenly appears at her side. ETHELINE Well. but it’s too late. ROYAL You got a minute? Etheline looks startled. I’m sorry for Royal hesitates for a fraction of a second. baby. DAY. She keeps walking. I’ll be dead in six weeks. Etheline comes out the front door of the Tenenbaum house and goes down the steps. I want to spend some time with you and the children. you can’t have it. ETHELINE What are you talking about? Royal stares at her blankly. SIDEWALK. Etheline stops. ROYAL I want my family back.
Etheline looks as if she is going to faint. scared. Etheline looks stunned. suddenly worried. time.31. says gently. He ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m not dying. down. I’m sorry. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What’d they say? What’s the prognosis? Etheline begins to hyperventilate. trying to comfort her: Listen. Royal looks around Royal seems Etheline cannot seem to catch her breath. nervously. ROYAL (CONT’D) Maybe two. A month. my God. He looks Royal tries to calm her ETHELINE (urgently) Where’s the doctor? ROYAL Wait a second. ROYAL (CONT’D) Hold on. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Oh. ETHELINE (CONT’D) I didn’t know. But I need some Etheline looks puzzled. I want us to -She says furiously: Etheline slaps Royal hard in the face. ROYAL (CONTINUED) . CONTINUED: Royal shrugs. Hold on. He hesitates. ETHELINE What’s wrong with you? Ethel. Etheline stumbles a step and Royal catches her. ROYAL Take it easy. Let’s get -- Royal holds Etheline by the shoulders. Ethel.
INT. Baby. (CONTINUED) .32. Etheline stops. DAY. CONTINUED: (2) ETHELINE Go away! Etheline turns away and walks quickly across the street. ROYAL I am dying.” Chas sits at the desk in his bedroom on Archer Avenue. INT. She looks back to Royal. A telephone conversation. 375TH STREET Y/CHAS’ ROOM. Uzi stands beside him. She can see from the look on his face that now he is telling the truth. DAY. Henry sits at a desk in his study. HENRY’S APARTMENT/ETHELINE’S TELEPHONE ROOM. ARI You told us he was already dead. There are ledger books and adding machines in front of him and glass statues of birds and animals behind him. Ari talks on a pay phone next to an indoor pool.m. 11 a. UZI Who’s your father? CHAS His name’s Royal Tenenbaum. HENRY Have you told your children? ETHELINE More or less. A second telephone conversation. Etheline is in the telephone room on Archer Avenue. A sign on the wall says “Water Safety and Rescue Class. She goes over to him in the middle of the intersection. HENRY And are they all right? ETHELINE Hard to say. Each wears goggles and an orange life-jacket belted tightly. ETHELINE Are you or aren’t you? ROYAL (pause) Dying? Yes.
33. CONTINUED: CHAS (hesitates) But now he’s really dying. INT. ELI’S TOWNHOUSE/MARGOT’S BATHROOM-DARKROOM. DAY.
A third telephone conversation. Eli sits on a couch in front of a painting of two men wearing ski masks riding a motorcycle chasing after a screaming girl in a bikini. He smokes a long, Moroccan-looking pipe. Margot talks on the telephone in her bathroom on Archer Avenue. There are three bottles of developing chemicals and a photographic enlarger next to the sink. ELI I’m very sorry, Margot. That’s OK. anyway. MARGOT We’re not actually related,
ELI That’s true. EXT. BOAT DECK. DAY.
The Cote d’Ivoire. Richie sits under a wool blanket in a chaise lounge reading a telegram with “Shore to Ship” printed across the top. He looks upset. A waiter stands next to him with a pen and a pad of paper in his hand. All of the other passengers on the deck are very elderly and have white hair. RICHIE I’d like to send a response, Alberto. Yes, sir. WAITER Go ahead. I’m
RICHIE Dear Mom, I received your message. coming home as soon as possible. (pause) Who do I see about that? The waiter shrugs. EXT. PIER 32. DAY.
The entrance to the passenger terminal for the Cote d’Ivoire. A sign across the glass says “Royal Arctic Line.” Richie stands on the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets as bundled-up, white-haired passengers and baggage handlers run by around him. He has two small suitcases and a vinyl bag with a pouch on he side for a tennis racket. There is no racket in it. Two elderly men with white hair come over to him. (CONTINUED)
34. CONTINUED: ELDERLY MAN 1 Can we get a picture with you, Baumer? Richie nods. One of the elderly men gives his camera to a baggage handler, and they stand next to Richie. ELDERLY MAN 2 I saw you whip Vishniac in the finals at Glenchester. You were beautiful back then. Richie smiles briefly. picture. The baggage handler takes the
ELDERLY MAN 1 Thanks, Champ. The two elderly men walk away. A city bus stops at the corner. The door opens and Margot gets out. She smiles at Richie and waves. She wears a mink coat with a belt around it. She has on pink gloves. She walks across the sidewalk and stops ten feet in front of Richie as the bus drives away. They stand there smiling at each other. MARGOT Stand up straight and let me get a look at you. Richie stands up a little straighter and continues to look at Margot with the same smile. MARGOT (CONT’D) What’s so funny? Richie shrugs. MARGOT (CONT’D) Well, it’s nice to see you, too. Their smiles fade, and they both look cold and sad. Richie reaches out his hand. Margot goes over to him and puts her arms around him. EXT. TENENBAUM HOUSE. DAY.
Margot and Richie stand on the steps in front of the house. The door opens and Etheline and Pagoda come outside and hug Richie. Richie and Henry shake hands. Ari and Uzi come running out and hug Richie. NARRATOR (V.O.) That night, Etheline found all of her children living together under the same roof for the first time in seventeen years.
35. CONTINUED: Chas watches from his window on the third floor. Richie looks up and sees him. Richie waves tentatively. Chas waves back without smiling. EXT. ROOF. DAWN. opens feet, says and
Richie comes out on to the roof dressed in pajamas. He his falcon’s coop. He puts his hand under the falcon’s and the falcon steps on to his fist. The falcon’s hood Mordecai across the front. Richie pulls a leather cord lifts the hood off the falcon’s head. He strokes the falcon’s feathers and talks softly in its ear. NARRATOR (V.O.) The next morning Richie woke at dawn. He had decided birds should not be kept in cages, fed Mordecai three sardines, and set him free.
CUT TO: An hour later. Richie sits on a box on the roof eating a bowl of cereal and reading a book called Three Plays by Margot Tenenbaum. There is an empty tin of sardines at his feet. The door to the falcon’s coop is open, and the falcon is gone. INSERT: Page 76 of The Royal Tenenbaums. EXT. STREET. EVENING. It says “Chapter Four.”
Royal gets out of a gypsy cab in front of the Tenenbaum house. He is dressed in a white bathrobe, white pajamas and red bedroom slippers. He carries a cane, but walks across the sidewalk quickly and energetically. Pagoda waits for him at the top of the steps. hands. Silence. OK. ROYAL They shake
Pagoda opens the front door. INT. LIVING ROOM. EVENING.
Royal sits on a stool across from Richie and Margot on the couch. Chas stands at a table in the corner reading Richie’s Atlas of the World. Royal looks to Chas. Chas looks back at him but does not move. Royal looks back to Richie and Margot. ROYAL I’ve missed the hell out of you, my darlings. You know that, don’t you? (CONTINUED)
ROYAL So they tell me. CONTINUED: MARGOT I hear you’re dying. ROYAL (CONT’D) But let me get to the point here. and I aim to do it. Thank you. A month? ROYAL CHAS A year? Chas does not look up ROYAL About six weeks. Not long. Will you give me a chance? (CONTINUED) . from his atlas. CHAS (yawning) How long are you going to last? Royal looks across the room at Chas. MARGOT ROYAL (shrugs) I had a good run. Chas laughs quietly. Now.36. and I love you more than anything. RICHIE You don’t look so sick. The three of you and your mother are all I’ve got. ROYAL (CONT’D) Let me finish. I’ve got six weeks to set things right with you. I’m sorry. Royal looks back to Richie and Margot. ROYAL RICHIE What’ve you got? ROYAL I’ve got a pretty bad case of cancer. Dad.
she wasn’t your real grandmother.37. So why don’t you let somebody else do some of the talking now? MARGOT What do you propose to do? ROYAL Well. I was ROYAL Well. RICHIE You know. Richie looks to Chas. so I didn’t know you’d be interested. I suppose. RICHIE (pause) I haven’t been out there since I was six. you’ve made your views known. you’re invited this time. at some point. But the first thing I’d like to do is take you to see your grandmother. I can’t say. Make up for lost time. isn’t it? can swing by her grave. Rachael’s buried there. MARGOT I haven’t been there at all. we (CONTINUED) . sweetie. Anyway. CONTINUED: (2) CHAS No. too. never invited. ROYAL Oh. ROYAL (pause) CHAS Who? My wife. too. ROYAL Do you speak for everyone? CHAS I speak for myself. MARGOT He looks back to Royal. Thanks. That’s right. really. ROYAL Well. Well.
Margot waves. my sweet boy. LIVING ROOM. ROYAL Where’s my javelina? NIGHT. He yells toward the kitchen: Pagoda! INT. Royal stands in the living room with Richie and Margot. ROYAL I’ll say goodnight to you now. CHAS I think we’ll pass. Chas walks away up the stairs. ROYAL (CONT’D) Thank you. ROYAL (CONT’D) Don’t give me that guff. Chas scoffs at the idea and shakes his head. Chas slaps it away and goes out of the room. CONTINUED: (3) Chas slams the atlas shut and puts it back into the bookcase. children. ROYAL (CONT’D) May I see my grandsons? Why? CHAS ROYAL Because I’d like to finally meet them. He walks toward the door. Richie hugs Royal. Chas? Chas stops. as if something has been removed. Royal frowns. STAIRWAY. verge of tears. There is a clean square and a hook on the wall in the stairwell. Chas is already half-way to the second floor as Royal appears at the bottom of the steps. Royal looks to be on the . INT.38. Royal says to Margot and Richie: ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll be right back. Royal extends his hand as Chas walks by. EVENING. ROYAL He looks down to Royal.
A taxi stops in front of the house. reluctantly slaps hands with Royal and says: HENRY How do you do? ROYAL (shrugs) Ah. sir. Goodnight all. Royal gets into the taxi and closes the door. They each carry a playbill for a play called That Rascal. EXT. down the steps. Henry leaves the door to the taxi open. ETHELINE Don’t pay any attention to that man. Pagoda nods. Henry. Margot and Eli walk together down a street with trash everywhere and abandoned cars and broken windows. Henry and Etheline get out of the taxi. I’m dying. NIGHT. Royal and Pagoda stand outside the top of the front steps. man. Ethel! Good evening. ROYAL I’m just kidding. Hey. STREET. what can I say? Henry looks uneasy. Royal clamps his hand on Pagoda’s arm and lets out a slow whistle. (CONTINUED) . Royal’s face darkens. the cab. DAY. this is Henry Sherman. ROYAL Lay it on me. driver. Royal licks his fingers and smooths back his hair. Royal says quickly: ROYAL I’ll contact you in the next twelve hours and give you further instructions. TENENBAUM HOUSE. EXT. please.39. ROYAL (CONT’D) Hello. ETHELINE Royal. Henry Hold He bounds Royal puts out his hand for Henry to give him five. ROYAL (CONT’D) Look at that old grizzly bear.
it’s Eli. VOICE Margot says blankly: The door buzzes open. MARGOT What are we doing. They walk in silence for a minute. He says he’s in love with you. Hang on. (points to a deli) Right there is where you used to go get jacked off. ELI (CONT’D) How’s Richie? MARGOT (pause) I don’t know. MARGOT (frowns) What are you talking about? ELI (shrugs) That’s what he said. ELI (CONT’D) You don’t give a shit. They stop in front of a partially demolished building. MARGOT I’m listening. either. Margot nods. baby. I can’t tell. ELI Yeah. ELI That’s right.40. She seems distracted. Eli presses the buzzer to one of the apartments. He wrote me a letter. Me. Eli? (CONTINUED) . I don’t know how we’re supposed to take it. Hey. CONTINUED: ELI Right there is where I used to go get jacked off. A voice comes on the call box: Hello? VOICE ELI Sugar.
GRADUATE STUDENT (CONT’D) Please. sketching. Etheline says to the three archaeologists: ETHELINE (CONT’D) These were probably slaves. Margot stands alone on the street. ETHELINE Good. He wears a gray wool suit and tie. About Richie. Etheline dusts off a partially unearthed skeleton. sir. Henry appears in the background. He picks up a pebble off the ground and looks at it. The three archaeologists are all scruffy young men with beards. by the way. ARCHAEOLOGICAL EXCAVATION. Henry looks embarrassed. The archaeologists crouch around Etheline while she compares a bit of soil on the end of a trowel with a color chart in a handbook. climbing down a ladder on the far side of the pit. put that artifact back where you found it. surveying. She is dressed entirely in denim except for a scarf over her hair. EXT. There are workers digging. CONTINUED: (2) ELI I just got to pick something up. ground. Don’t repeat that. She has on sunglasses and boots. It was told in confidence. HENRY I’m sorry to interrupt your work. She A large network of pits between two brownstone townhouses. He puts the pebble back on the CUT TO: Etheline and Henry walking through a trench together. Now I’ll just remove the loose soil and note the decomposition levels. looks up at the destroyed building. (CONTINUED) . DAY. Eli goes inside. Etheline and the three archaeologists turn around and see them. Before the arrival of the -GRADUATE STUDENT What are you doing? A graduate student with a shovel is looking at Henry and frowning. ETHELINE Don’t be silly. and shaking dirt through metal hand-screens.41.
42. CONTINUED: HENRY I just wanted to apologize for the other day. When I proposed to you. Why? ETHELINE I thought it was very sweet.
HENRY Look. I know I’m not as accomplished as some of the men you’ve been involved with. Franklin Benedict and General Cartwright and your ex-husband and -ETHELINE That’s ridiculous. HENRY But I feel I have just as much to offer as any of them. I know I went about it backwards, but -ETHELINE Henry, I have no interest in Frank Benedict or Doug Cartwright. I never did. Henry falls into a pit and disappears from view. does not notice this and continues walking. ETHELINE (CONT’D) And as far as Royal is concerned, he’s the most -Etheline stops. She looks around. She sees Henry climbing up a ladder, out of the pit. He is covered with dirt and has a small twig in his hair. She rushes over to him. ETHELINE (CONT’D) Are you all right? Henry sighs. He brushes some dirt off his jacket. Etheline
HENRY I’m fine. Anyway, let me know when you make up your mind. Henry starts to walk away. Etheline grabs his sleeve.
ETHELINE Wait a second, Henry. Henry stops. He looks to Etheline. kisses it. He looks surprised. I’m sorry. She takes his hand and
ETHELINE (CONT’D) I’m very nervous. (CONTINUED)
43. CONTINUED: (2) Etheline pulls the twig out of Henry’s hair. That’s OK. HENRY Thank you. Why are you --
ETHELINE To tell you the truth, I haven’t slept with a man in eighteen years. Silence. Henry nods. He puts his hand on Etheline’s cheek. DAY.
INT. MARGOT’S BEDROOM.
Margot lies in her bed behind a mosquito net watching a downhill skiing competition on her portable television. Etheline stands in the doorway and says calmly: ETHELINE I think I’m falling for Henry. Margot looks to Etheline. netting. MARGOT That’s amazing. ETHELINE What do you think of him? MARGOT (excited) I think he’s gorgeous. ETHELINE I’ll tell you a secret. marry him. He asked me to She pulls open the mosquito
MARGOT (dreamily) I’m going to have a father. ETHELINE (hesitates) Well, I haven’t accepted yet. Besides, you already have a father, sweetheart. MARGOT Not really. Plus, now he’s dying. CUT TO: The hallway outside Margot’s room. dark, watching from the stairs. Pagoda is poised in the
EXT. 375TH STREET Y ROOFTOP.
A rooftop park with a chain-link fence around it. There are several fighters lifting weights and jumping rope. Ari does chin-ups from a jungle gym. Uzi does sit-ups on a mat. Buckley lays on the cement beside them. Someone whistles from behind the fence. Ari and Uzi look. It is Royal. He is inside a telephone booth with the door partly open, holding the receiver to his ear. He signals for Ari and Uzi to come over. Ari frowns. He looks across the courtyard to Anwar, sitting on a bench, reading a BMW owner’s manual. Royal ducks back into the telephone booth and holds the receiver to his ear. Anwar does not look up. Ari slides down a fire-station-type pole. He and Uzi cautiously go over to the fence with Buckley. Royal hangs up the receiver and comes out of the telephone booth. ROYAL That’s a hell of an old hound dog you got there. What’s he go by? Buckley. ARI
ROYAL (pointing at Buckley) Buckley. Sit. Buckley sits. Royal looks impressed. He turns to Ari.
ROYAL (CONT’D) You know who I am? Ari shakes his head. I’m Royal. ROYAL (CONT’D) You heard of me? His expression becomes
Ari nods. Royal looks pleased. serious again.
ROYAL (CONT’D) I’m very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman. ARI (pause) Thank you. ROYAL Which one are you?
ARI ROYAL You think so? How often’s he got you working out? ARI Sixteen times a week. He stares off into space. ROYAL (CONT’D) Look.. I don’t get invited around much. I guess. . CONTINUED: ARI Ari. ROYAL (looks to Uzi) Uzi. but we’re going to have to pull some strings to make that happen. I want us to have a relationship. ROYAL (CONT’D) How’s your daddy? Fine. Hello. Royal looks back to Ari and Uzi.. Tell him you want to meet me. ROYAL (CONT’D) Kind of a fuck-you to the old man. by the way? You don’t have to say anything. (pause) Here’s what you tell him. Ari and Uzi look confused. ROYAL No. we didn’t. I’m your granddad. UZI But we just met. UZI ROYAL I’m sorry we haven’t gotten to know each other. What do you think about that.45. ROYAL (shakes his head) Do me a favor. Royal sighs.
wasn’t she? CHAS I wouldn’t know. We got another body buried out here. INT. Chas walks away. Silence. Another technician rolls in a crate on a dolly. DAY. Ari and Uzi sit across from Chas. DAY.46. EXT. A technician tinkers with a large Xerox machine on the other side of the room. He says to O’Reilly Tenenbaum Earth. He sighs. RICHIE ROYAL Is he worth a damn? (CONTINUED) . You know him? Yeah. that’s right. and the city is across the river. Silence. A small cemetery next to an electrical power plant. Ari and Uzi are both dressed in black Adidas warm-ups. Chas: ROYAL She was a tough old broad. Ari and Uzi stand together dressed in black Adidas warm-ups. Hang on.” Epitaph: “The Salt of the places a bouquet of white flowers at the There are tears in his eyes. Royal’s mother’s gravestone reads “Helen (1909-1962). Take some of these.” Royal foot of the grave. Chas. ROYAL (CONT’D) What do you think of this big old black buck moving in up there? RICHIE (pause) Who? ROYAL Henry Sherman. CEMETERY. He is behind his desk with his back turned to them. Royal takes half of the white flowers off his mother’s grave and hands them to Chas. CHAS’ BEDROOM. Royal and Richie stand beside them. Excuse me. ARI I bet Mom would’ve wanted us to meet him before he died. ROYAL Oh. wouldn’t she? Chas turns his chair around and looks to Ari and Uzi. The trees are bare. Chas wears his red one.
” Uzi stares at Margot’s missing finger. FARM. Did you know that? Uzi shakes his head. sister Maggie. CUT TO: Ari. UZI What happened to your finger? Ari looks quickly to Uzi. UZI How’d it get chopped off by -Uzi. I am. CONTINUED: RICHIE I believe so. which reads “Rachael Evans Tenenbaum (19652000). ARI MARGOT It’s OK. And I went to find my real family when I was fourteen. There are a mother and father and five very young children. CUT TO: (CONTINUED) .47. Margot looks to the father as if he is an idiot. Royal nods. MARGOT It got chopped off by an axe. and black nail polish. EXT. They live in Indiana. She reaches to adjust the log slightly just as the father swings an axe and chops the log in half. FATHER Now just set one of them hickory trunks right up on top there. I’ll tell you. black eyeliner. Uzi and Margot standing in front of Rachael’s gravestone. Margot’s hair is dyed black. The father stares at Margot’s bloody hand. I’m adopted. MARGOT (CONT’D) Well. and she wears a black LaCoste dress. Margot sets a log sideways on top of a wood pile. Everyone looks stunned. DAY. Shh. A fourteen-year-old Margot stands behind a barn with a family of blond farmers.
CUT TO: Richie and Royal looking at an impressive monument in the middle of the cemetery. INSERT: (CONTINUED) .” ROYAL That’s a hell of a damn grave. An inscription says: “Veteran of Two Wars. RICHIE (shrugs) Probably. ARI Did you try to sew it back on? MARGOT (shakes her head) Couldn’t find it. Drowned in the Caspian Sea. Ari and Uzi standing together. isn’t it? What? RICHIE ROYAL You probably had another good two to three years of competitive play in you. CUT TO: Royal and Richie walking together among the gravestones. Royal says wistfully: ROYAL (CONT’D) I wish it were mine. Dad. Financially and personally. Baumer? RICHIE (pause) I don’t know. ROYAL (CONT’D) Why’d you choke out there that day. ROYAL I had a lot riding on that match. Silence. CONTINUED: Margot. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s a shame.48. Richie nods. Father of Nine Children. you know. Richie nods.
Richie stares at Margot and Raleigh. I think he’s crying.) I don’t know. Gandhi serves. TEX HAYWARD (V. and Richie attempts to play it by throwing his racket at the ball. CUT TO: Royal and Richie standing together. He looks into the stands. A title identifies him as Sanjay Gandhi. With a bizarre swing. Richie hits his return directly off the court and deep into the stands. He looks to Chas. and .O. He’s taken off his shoes and one of his socks. He’s playing the worst tennis of his life. He looks to Royal in a lonely seat up in the nosebleed section. underhand. Margot.O. They look very concerned. Gandhi nails his return. Jim. Tex Hayward? TEX HAYWARD (V. Raleigh St. holding hands. He looks to Etheline. and her new husband.) Who’s he looking at in the friends’ box. ROYAL I kind of disappeared after that. He hesitates. Tex? Margot and Raleigh. What’s he feeling right now. Richie serves suddenly. They were just married yesterday. Ari and Uzi. He shakes his head and talks to himself. Richie is shown preparing to serve with tears all over his face.O. Richie is playing an Indian player dressed all in white. with Rachael. barely tossing the ball into the air.O.actually.) That’s his sister.) That’s seventy-two unforced errors for Richie Tenenbaum. Clair.49. There’s obviously something wrong with him. watch from their seats in a courtside box. It is briefly revealed that he is wearing no shoes and only one sock. didn’t I? (CONTINUED) . Royal stands up and walks towards the exit. CONTINUED: (2) A television set tuned in to network coverage of a tennis match on grass courts. ANNOUNCER (V. Jim. ANNOUNCER (V.
He kicks a pebble on the ground. A stenographer sits at a metal stand. Chas and Royal and two attorneys sit across from him. JUDGE’S CHAMBERS. ROYAL You still got that little BB in your hand. Royal taps it with his finger. wasn’t it? No. do I? INT. dammit -- (CONTINUED) . you sued me. Twice. DAY. Now. Tenenbaum to withdraw these funds without your written authorization? ROYAL Objection. your honor. Were we? Chas does not respond. typing. JUDGE And how was it possible for Mr. ROYAL (CONT’D) Well. Royal says quietly: ROYAL It was the object of the game. Royal nods. It moves slightly. Chassie? Chas looks to Royal. A lawyer in a robe sits behind his desk. CONTINUED: (3) RICHIE (shrugs) Yeah. But I don’t hold it against you. And got me disbarred.50. CHAS Why’d you shoot me? Silence. CHAS We were on the same team. but I understood. ROYAL Royal sighs. Chas stands beside him. He holds up his hand and shows Royal a little round bump between two knuckles. I know you’re not very good with disappointment. CUT TO: Royal scraping some dirt off of Rachael’s gravestone with his foot.
sir. Royal. ARI ROYAL I’m kidding. Minimum security. ARI Royal yells across the cemetery to Richie and Margot. The judge looks to Royal. UZI Were you in prison? ROYAL Kind of. (CONTINUED) . Uzi looks to Royal. so my father was the primary signatory on most of my accounts. Royal looks guilty. object. I got jacked by the IRS. ROYAL You think you could start forgiving me? CHAS Why should I? ROYAL Because you’re hurting me. Don’t CHAS Because I started the corporation when I was a minor. CUT TO: Royal and Chas surrounded with Ari and Uzi.51. OK. Should we split? Yes. OK. CHAS (CONT’D) He also stole bonds out of my safety deposit box when I was fourteen. Chas turns and walks away. CONTINUED: ROYAL’S LAWYER This isn’t a courtroom. Tenenbaum. ARI ROYAL Call me Mr. Call me Pappy. Chas’ attorney whispers something into his ear.
and you’re having some problems. RICHIE Well. MARGOT Thanks. RICHIE Well. RICHIE You dropped some cigarettes. I know he’s a lot older than you are. let me know. Come on! A maintenance man with a shovel in his hand yells from across the cemetery: MAINTENANCE MAN Hey. He hesitates. but -.52. Margot picks up the pack of cigarettes and puts it back in her pocket. A pack of cigarettes falls out of Margot’s pocket on to the ground. MARGOT Those aren’t mine. OK. They stop walking and look at it. I heard about that letter you sent to Eli. Baumer! All right! Richie smiles and waves to the maintenance man. MARGOT By the way. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL Let’s shag ass! CUT TO: Margot and Richie walking toward the cemetery gates. Silence. maybe I can help. RICHIE How are you and Raleigh getting along? You think you’re going to get back together? MARGOT (pause) I don’t know.Anyway. OK? I like Raleigh very much. . they just fell out of your pocket. Richie starts to say something. if you need someone to talk to.
ELI (CONT’D) Yes. Eli’s wife. ELI (pause) Rightly so. my Lord. I did. Richie stands on the top step. Eli embraces Richie. It is furnished like a house in the English countryside. RICHIE Did you tell Margot about that letter I wrote you? ELI (hesitates) Why? Did she mention it? Richie does not respond. ELI CASH’S TOWNHOUSE. I wonder? RICHIE Well. CUT TO: Richie and Eli walking into the front room of the house. ELI Oh. Sabrina? ELI She seems irritated. DAY. Sabrina. I’m sorry. DAY. They smile sadly at each other. Eli walks into the vestibule smoking a joint which he keeps in his mouth at all times like a cigarette. He opens the front door. STUDIO. INT. INT. She is very beautiful and wears spectacles and a white sari. I would ask you the same question. She is barefoot. is painting in her studio.53. RICHIE Eli. (CONTINUED) Sabrina does not look up. ELI I know. Why would she have repeated that. Richie and Eli walk into the next room. . Look at you. Classical music plays quietly on the record player. that was meant to be just between you and me. with antiques and potted flowers and old rugs.
ELI What’d you say? (CONTINUED) . He works at a spinning potter’s wheel. RICHIE How’d she break her arm? ELI (sadly) I fell down the stairs with her. frightening painting on the wall of five men wearing African masks and sitting on dirtbikes. She SABRINA Hello. She is painting a set of teacups. He notices a nude. She is Sabrina’s model. ELI’S STUDY. There is a large zip-lock bag of marijuana on the table. ELI Stetson? Say hello to Uncle There are two children in the corner. Eli does not appear to notice this. has an English accent. Silence. She is only mildly surprised. Sabrina hugs and kisses Richie. Richie looks disturbed. darling. She has a cast in a sling on her arm. Cinnamon. molding a hunk of clay. DAY. They are both blond and fair. Eli sits on a couch across from Richie. INT. teenaged girl standing on the table. as he is in the process of relighting his joint. Hello. Sabrina looks to Richie. There is a large. CONTINUED: SABRINA What? ELI Look what I found on the doorstep. Charlotte is five. except where she wore a bikini.54. The children do not respond to Eli. Cinnamon. She has a deep tan. They are both drinking wine. Stetson is six. ELI (CONT’D) That’s Cinnamon. Cinnamon looks at Eli coldly. Charlotte? Richie.
for some reason. Very much so. you know. actually. (barely audible) I’m on mescaline.55. Richie reflects on this for a minute. Richie. Don’t listen to me. indeed. INSERT: (CONTINUED) . I’ve been spaced out all day. Eli pours himself another glass of wine. RICHIE (pause) Why? ELI Well. Margot is. RICHIE Did you say you’re on mescaline? ELI (nods) I did. CONTINUED: RICHIE (pause) ELI Hm? What? RICHIE I didn’t say anything. Yeah. But I did find it odd when you said you were in love with her. ELI When? Right now? (pause) I’m sorry. RICHIE ELI And she’s your sister. RICHIE (quickly) Adopted. (pause) She’s married. RICHIE How often do you -ELI I’m worried about you.
There are also several dozen hanging garments on a rack with wheels on it. ROYAL (shaking his head) Damn you. The manager and his assistant come over and watch Royal study his possessions. MANAGER Hello. The manager walks away. Dusty. EXT. This is humiliating. The bellboy begins to roll one of the carts across the lobby. Royal goes in through It says “Chapter Five. LINDBERGH PALACE HOTEL. Royal comes into the lobby and freezes. DAY. DAY. MANAGER I’d be happy to make a reservation for you at another hotel. Dusty. You’re taking my encyclopedias. Frederick? MANAGER The manager looks to the bellboy. ROYAL You son of a bitch. Royal says suddenly: ROYAL Where’re my encyclopedias? MANAGER They’ve been placed in storage. INT. A bellboy rolls a fifth cart next to the others. I’m sorry. ROYAL Hello. MANAGER Would you like to -- ROYAL Where am I supposed to go? You’re turning me into a goddamn hobo. (CONTINUED) . A large number of trunks. appears at Royal’s side.56. suitcases and boxes are stacked and piled on four carts next to the front desk. revolving doors. CONTINUED: (2) Page 112 of The Royal Tenenbaums. the elevator operator. LOBBY.” The side entrance of the hotel. sir.
INT. NIGHT. Richie? INT. Henry. Etheline. RICHIE CHAS You poor sucker. ETHELINE Have you spoken to him about this? Briefly. (CONTINUED) . CHAS Are you out of your mind? RICHIE (sincerely) No. I think he’d be much more comfortable here than -CHAS Who gives a shit? I do. DINING ROOM. You poor. Anyway. TELEPHONE BOOTH.57. What are you suggesting? RICHIE That he come here and stay in my room. RICHIE And he agreed that -- CHAS I’m sorry. MANAGER DAY. RICHIE I think he’s very lonely. Royal places a call from the lobby. I’m not. CONTINUED: ROYAL Spot me a quarter. Lonelier than he lets on. will you? Of course. Chas. Ari and Uzi sit at the table eating dessert. and maybe lonelier than he even realizes. Richie. ROYAL It’s your dad. poppa’s boy. Maybe I’m a little confused. washed-up Henry puts his hand gently on Chas’ arm. Margot.
ETHELINE You’ve known him for ten years. CHAS Don’t get in the middle of this. HENRY Please. ARI (to Richie) Where are you going to sleep? RICHIE I’ll just camp out upstairs. ETHELINE Call him Henry. Chas jerks his arm away. UZI We brought an extra sleeping bag you can use. RICHIE Oh. that’s OK. Mr. CHAS I prefer Mr. Sherman. CHAS ARI We don’t mind. Why? CHAS I don’t know him that well. Sherman. Dad. call me Henry. This is a family matter. Mr.58. Who? UZI Pappy? We like him. All right. CHAS As your accountant. yes. MARGOT Don’t talk to him like that. Sherman. UZI You want to borrow our electric -Uzi. CONTINUED: HENRY Let’s not get out of hand. I’ve got an old Scout cot and a couple of army blankets. (CONTINUED) .
Richie? Richie hands Royal his cane. things. Richie’s room has been converted into a makeshift hospital room. He rolls the IV stand beside him. if Mom says it’s OK. Pagoda has on a surgical mask and scrubs. ETHELINE Nor is it yours. He produces a wooden spoon. Where’s my suitcase? Royal’s knee gives out. INT. There are numerous bottles of pills and medicines on the night stand. Dad? RICHIE (CONTINUED) . NIGHT. surgical scrubs. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. Silence. RICHIE Well. RICHIE (CONT’D) I think he’s asleep. All right. He staggers a step. He grips the back of a chair and looks to Richie with a surprised expression. Royal sits up on the edge of the bed. Royal struggles to his feet. he’s already up there. ROYAL (CONT’D) Would you mind handing me my cane. Get out. ROYAL (CONT’D) Let’s see. CHAS It’s not your decision. now. goddammit. He collapses on to the floor. CHAS ROYAL Let me just collect my He is dressed in pink Richie is behind him. because of the medication he’s on. CONTINUED: (2) Chas looks shocked and then revolted. He has an IV in his arm and a tube in his nose. But I guess you can wake him up and throw him out. Royal lies on an electric hospital bed. Chas stands in the doorway. which he takes between his teeth.59. There are several monitors and machines breathing and humming.
Can you sub for him tonight?” CUT TO: (CONTINUED) He looks at it. Chas frowns. INSERT: Dusty’s beeper has a digital message on it: “Smitty worked a double yesterday. my goodness! Pagoda. DUSTY His condition is stable. Dusty is dressed in a white lab coat and elevatoroperator pants with a red stripe down the side. Richie yells out the door: Mom! RICHIE (CONT’D) ROYAL Grab me a Nembutal. Dusty’s beeper goes off. CHAS Are you OK? Royal takes the spoon out of his mouth. ROYAL Call Dr.60. Royal is back in bed. CONTINUED: Richie and Pagoda rush over and kneel on the floor beside Royal. McClure. ROYAL Fuck do you care? Richie gives Royal a pill with a glass of water. I recommend that you push fluids and continue the stomach cancer medication. the elevator operator from the Lindbergh Palace. He checks Royal’s pulse while everyone watches. comes to the door. Richie runs to the night stand and pops open a bottle of pills. CUT TO: Forty-five minutes later. son. The attack was just a side-effect. INT. HALLWAY. Chas looks down at Royal. NIGHT. ETHELINE Oh. Etheline Dusty speaks with the Tenenbaums in the hallway outside Richie’s bedroom. He is being examined by Dusty. .
CHAS For how long? DUSTY We’ll have to wait and see. for when the time comes. Is he a fighter? Yeah. RICHIE Is he going to be all right? DUSTY That depends.61. CHAS Can we move him? DUSTY Absolutely not. RICHIE DUSTY (solemnly) Then that’s the best we’ve got. (CONTINUED) . CONTINUED: Dusty pushing a button on his beeper. I have another call to make. OK? OK. Pagoda comes in and hands Etheline sits next to Royal’s bed. ROYAL Pagoda is in possession of a parcel that contains my will and some instructions regarding the funeral. including my epitaph. Do you believe that? ETHELINE Not really. Now. Etheline nods. NIGHT. INT. if you’ll excuse me. ROYAL (CONT’D) Proof-read it for me before they carve it on the headstone. by the way. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. ETHELINE ROYAL I never did stop loving you. Royal a small brown paper sack.
CONTINUED: ROYAL You look terrific. Them’s the rules. CUT TO: An hour later. Royal raises an eyebrow. Royal says in a quiet. m’boy. CHAS Have to finish it up in the morning. there is a yellow nylon pupis dark except for a lamp glowing inside the . Lights out. NIGHT. There are chairs sheets over them lined up along the walls. drinking a milkshake. Royal opens the paper sack and withdraws a cheeseburger wrapped in aluminum foil. CHAS Lights out. Chas turns out the light. ROYAL I was going to read for a little bit. CHAS 11:30. Henry is standing in the doorway. The room tent. Sorry. Silence. stunning. Royal lies in bed. A dalmation mouse eats some crumbs off the floor. INT. strangely upbeat voice in the darkness: ROYAL Goodnight. ETHELINE (pause) Thanks. of the room. He closes the door. He hesitates. the top floor of the house. reading a spy novel. The ballroom on and tables with Near the center tent. That dress is ROYAL I’m in the middle of a sentence. BALLROOM. Chas appears in the doorway. Etheline shakes her head and goes out of the room. He unwraps it and takes a bite. He walks away. old man.62. Chas. Chas hesitates.
Chas. I don’t know what you think you’re going to get out of this. Richie looks up. Pagoda sits next to him drinking a cup of coffee. Chas looks disturbed by this. CHAS Well. I love you. Eli is climbing out a window on the second floor. But believe me. whatever it is. He frowns. I don’t. CHAS No. DAY. huh? RICHIE (pause) He’s your dad. CHAS (gritting his teeth) Stop saying that. INT. he’s not. it’s not worth it. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. Royal throws his cigarette out the window. too. Royal sits on the window sill smoking a cigarette.63. Richie lies on the cot reading Three Plays by Margot Tenenbaum. NIGHT. TENT. EXT. There is a small table with a stack of books and some of Richie’s Matchbox cars and tennis trophies on it. There is a Boy Scout sleeping bag on an air mattress on a cot inside the tent. I know what you and the boys have been through. RICHIE I don’t want to hurt you. and I love you. ROYAL What’s that jackass doing here? (CONTINUED) . There is a photograph of the Tenenbaum family taped to the nylon wall. (pause) You really hate me. You’re my brother. CHAS Looks like you and Dad are back together again. He looks down at the street. The next morning. Chas. don’t you? RICHIE (puzzled) No. startled. Chas comes into the tent.
He runs away. The headline says “Where the Wild Things Are. Margot is reading Henry’s book. He steps on it. GARDEN. Eli. RALEIGH How long do you intend to stay here? MARGOT I don’t know. He used to send me his grades in college.” CUT TO: Margot and Etheline sitting together in Etheline’s study. EXT. Accounting for Everything. Love. He looks up to Royal. (CONTINUED) . MARGOT (frowns) That’s ridiculous. Eli drops to the sidewalk. drinking tea. The backyard. Etheline is reading the article on Eli. Royal yells: ROYAL (CONT’D) I know you. Tenenbaum. He looks miserable. Their eyes meet. MARGOT (incredulous) What for? ETHELINE I think he just likes the encouragement. Margot and Raleigh sit at a metal table He smiles defiantly. A note stapled to the top says: “Dear Mrs. There is a rap on the glass. He’s done it for years.” There is a photograph of Eli in the desert holding a dead rattlesnake by the tail in each hand. asshole! Eli hesitates. Margot and Etheline look up. DAY. He sees Royal’s cigarette burning on the ground. Margot looks at it. CONTINUED: Pagoda looks down at Eli. INSERT: An article on Eli in the Sunday magazine section. Just in case you missed it.64. MARGOT Did Eli send you that? ETHELINE (nods) He always sends me his clippings. Raleigh is standing in the window.
MARGOT But -- RALEIGH I want to die. MARGOT What are you talking about? even know him. at the top of the stairs. For God’s sake. Margot puts her hand on his back. And I don’t think he deserves -MARGOT Stay out of it. You don’t ROYAL I’ve met him. Raleigh crumples into a ball on the ground and stays there. No. RALEIGH Have you met someone else? MARGOT (pause) I couldn’t begin to even think about knowing how to answer that question. Raleigh stands up and walks away. Royal watches down the stairwell as Margot comes up. DAY. He knocks on the railing. ROYAL I don’t like the way you’re treating Raleigh. Raleigh sits up suddenly. INT.65. HALLWAY. She looks up at him. Margot walks toward her room. Silence. But -RALEIGH You’re joking. Royal steps on to the landing (CONTINUED) . MARGOT Raleigh. CONTINUED: RALEIGH Are you ever coming home? MARGOT (pause) Maybe not. please.
You used to be a genius. CONTINUED: ROYAL You’re two-timing him with that bloodsucker Eli Cash. RALEIGH I believe she’s having an affair. I don’t know where else to turn. RALEIGH Richard. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s not right. Raleigh stands at the edge of the roof looking down to the ground while Richie cleans the empty falcon’s coop. Margot turns to Royal. Will you advise me? RICHIE I don’t know.66. She stands still with her back to Royal. anyway. ROOF. RICHIE I doubt it. may I confide in you? RICHIE (pause) OK. EXT. Richie comes out of the coop and goes over to RALEIGH (CONT’D) I’m utterly devastated. She says in a quiet voice: MARGOT No. dammit. RALEIGH Nevertheless. What do you want to do? (CONTINUED) . I didn’t. Margot stops. Margot goes into her room and closes the door. and perhaps you understand her better than anyone else. DAY. Silence. I know you’re terribly close to Margot. that’s what they used to say. ROYAL (hesitates) Well. Raleigh. They look at each other for a long minute.
Chas is on the telephone. INT. I thought we might -Richie punches his hand through the attic window. Royal stands in the garden. Royal comes down the hallway and looks in the doorway to Chas’ room. Royal says to them: ROYAL Let’s go down to Little Tokyo and get some firecrackers. His IV bag hangs on a rolling stand beside him. the Xerox machine and a television and VCR on a cart. looking in the window. no. perhaps -RICHIE Find the guy and get him? RALEIGH (pause) Well. RICHIE Who do you think it might be? RALEIGH (hesitates) I don’t know. I thought. Raleigh looks shocked. There are five computers. Etheline sits at her desk writing numbers on little bits of pottery and recording it in a notebook. INT. CONTINUED: RALEIGH Well. He stares at Richie’s bloody hand. four telephones. DAY. ETHELINE’S STUDY. Chas covers the receiver with his hand. CHAS What do you need? ROYAL (hesitates) Nothing. huh? CHAS Please. (CONTINUED) . CHAS’ BEDROOM. don’t come in this room. Three secretaries make copies and take messages. You got them crunching numbers for you. A messenger waits for him to sign a document. Ari and Uzi sit working with a calculator and a ledger pad at a small desk in the corner.67. at the moment. He kicks it. DAY.
I’m talking about putting a brick through the other guy’s windshield.) What do you mean? MONTAGE: (Royal.) Royal. ETHELINE I think that’s terrible advice.O. Ethel. ROYAL I know it. INT. Royal leads them at a full gallop down a ravine and over a stone wall.68.O. Silence. I’m talking about taking it out and chopping it up.) We take boxing and self-defense class. Ari and Uzi jaywalk through heavy traffic. Ari and Uzi jump off a high scaffold into the indoor pool at the 375th Street Y. Ari and Uzi race go-carts up and down loading ramps and in between fork-lifts in a large warehouse. You got to brew some recklessness into them. Ari and Uzi laugh continuously throughout the following montage. you don’t. Ari says over the intercom: ARI (V. CONTINUED: ROYAL Chassie’s got those boys cooped up like a pair of jackrabbits. Royal. Royal pushes a button to talk. DAY. Royal listens to Ari over the intercom while Pagoda does yoga exercises in the corner: ARI (V. Ari and Uzi ride horses in the park. (CONTINUED) . Royal. ROYAL I’m not talking about dance lessons. Royal. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. ETHELINE He has his reasons. ROYAL (pause) No. But you can’t raise boys to be scared of life.
DAY. He glares at Ari. STREET. Thirty years ago. and he carried me to the hospital on his back. you know. There was a price on my head. Chas hangs up the telephone. Uzi and Royal. How’s ROYAL Just stepped out to get some air. DAY.What is that? Royal licks his finger and rubs away the blood. the -CHAS (concerned) What’s that? Chas points to a spot of dried blood on Uzi’s forehead. (CONTINUED) .69. Ari and Uzi walking by the hallway. He sees Royal. INT. Royal. and he was a hired assassin. Ari and Uzi throw water balloons at a gypsy cab. Holy shit. ROYAL (indicating Pagoda) He saved my life. EXT. and Chas is on the telephone. No. Royal. CONTINUED: Royal. The three secretaries are still at work. ROYAL (CONT’D) That’s dog’s blood. I was knifed at a bazaar in Calcutta. ROYAL He did. Ari and Uzi ride on the back of a speeding garbage truck. ARI Who stabbed you? Royal motions to Pagoda again. CHAS’ BEDROOM. CHAS Where’ve you been? Chas goes to the doorway. ROYAL That’s not -. Stuck me in the gut with a shiv. Ari and Uzi hide cartons of chocolate milk under their jackets and walk quickly out the door of a bodega.
most of which are about thirty years old. He smiles. understand? Do you ROYAL (looking around) My God. ROYAL (CONT’D) There you are. Royal Royal and Etheline walk along a path through the park. by the way. CONTINUED: Chas frowns. He switches the light back on and looks down at the floor. Scrapping and yelling. in the corner. covered with dust. And I think you’re having a nervous breakdown. rolls his hanging IV bag at his side. PARK. He looks to Royal. DAY.70. I haven’t been in here in years. EXT. CHAS Stay away from my children. I don’t believe you’ve recovered from Rachael’s death. and closes the door. (CONTINUED) . (sincerely) I’d like to thank you for raising our children. There are hundreds of board games. DAY. Chas closes the door and turns on the light. I am. INT. Royal stands alone in the dark. I think -Chas turns off the light. I’m having a ball. Chas grabs Royal by the arm and pulls him into the closet across the hall. CHAS (screams) Are you listening to me? ROYAL Yes. goes out of the closet. The stuffed boar’s head is under the bottom shelf. CLOSET. in shelves up to the ceiling. Loving every minute with this damn crew. Royal hesitates. ETHELINE How are you feeling? ROYAL Oh. Mixing it up.
Etheline shrugs. and if -Etheline laughs. But I’ll take it as a compliment. I’m the one who failed them. and guts than any bob-tailed fox I ever damn hunted. Just these little expressions of yours. don’t do that to yourself. though. ROYAL Goddammit. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) OK. ROYAL I’m not kidding. ROYAL (CONT’D) You always put them first. I’ll tell you one thing. You’ve got more grit. ETHELINE Nothing. it doesn’t -ETHELINE Well. ROYAL No. tell me. didn’t you? ETHELINE I tried to. Royal? Why didn’t you care? ROYAL I don’t know. Or. then why didn’t you give a damn about us. but I’m ashamed of myself. ROYAL (CONT’D) What’s so funny? ETHELINE Nothing. I feel like maybe I didn’t do such a great job. (pause) Plus. anyway. Lately. They look at each other for a long minute. (CONTINUED) . it’s nobody’s fault. and fire. ROYAL (pause) I don’t know what you’re talking about. What? Royal smiles.71.
EVENING. But I don’t. He looks sad and stunned. ETHELINE (hesitates) I don’t think the timing’s right for that. Etheline turns around and goes back up the steps. It says “Chapter Six. Etheline goes inside and closes the door. Ethel. (pause) Actually. ETHELINE Well. INSERT: Page 147 of The Royal Tenenbaums. . Henry.” Etheline and Henry come down the front steps of the Tenenbaum house.72. Henry frowns. I don’t believe I’m going to join you tonight. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL (CONT’D) You’re true blue. HENRY Well. Etheline stops at the bottom of the steps. if you don’t mind. CUT TO: Henry with two bags of groceries in his arms. SIDEWALK. Henry watches her. Pagoda holds a gypsy cab for them at the curb. I hope you’re right. He listens as Royal says: ROYAL (CONT’D) How’s your love life? ETHELINE None of your business. watching from behind a stone wall above the path. I’ll call you in the morning. Henry is dressed in black tie. I’d agree if I thought he was really going to die in six weeks. Pagoda watches Henry. Silence. HENRY I’d like you to talk to Royal about us. The ends of a pair of theatre tickets stick out of his breast pocket. EXT. You really are.
NIGHT. ROYAL Can I ask you something? HENRY (pause) OK. Royal comes into the kitchen eating a cheeseburger. Royal has a half-eaten cheeseburger in his hand. Royal snaps his fingers. Henry looks at him blankly. He has on reading glasses. Royal sits on a stool. INT. ROYAL (CONT’D) We got the sucker on the ropes. Henry stands at the counter reading the Wall Street Journal. ROYAL Are you trying to steal my woman? HENRY (pause) I beg your pardon? ROYAL You heard me. ROYAL HENRY You didn’t? No.73. ROYAL (CONTINUED) . The next morning. INT. He whispers excitedly: ROYAL She said that? Pagoda nods. DAY. CLOSET. KITCHEN. HENRY (long pause) Coltrane? What? ROYAL HENRY Did you just call me Coltrane? No. Coltrane. Royal and Pagoda stand together in the board-game-filled closet drinking Martinis and smoking cigarettes.
74. goddammit! (CONTINUED) . Henry waits for Royal to continue. I don’t. He screams: ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll talk some jive like you never heard! HENRY (yelling) Oh. He looks puzzled. sit down. yeah? Right on! Sit down! What? ROYAL HENRY ROYAL Royal starts doing a little dance in front of Henry. would you? HENRY You don’t think so? ROYAL No. If you think -ROYAL You want to talk some jive? Henry hesitates. ROYAL (CONT’D) You wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. Royal stands up. ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ll talk some jive with you. HENRY (seething) Listen. ROYAL (CONT’D) What’d you say? HENRY I said. ROYAL But if I did? Silence. CONTINUED: HENRY (pause) OK. Royal.
Henry goes into Richie’s room and takes a bottle of Royal’s pills off the night stand. INT. Yes. RICHIE’S BEDROOM. He has the bottle of pills in his hand. Etheline looks to Henry. Nothing. He takes out a jar of peanut butter and a jar of grape jelly. DAY. ROYAL Don’t play semantics with me. HENRY This is not your house. He goes back out of the room. Henry reads the label on the bottle while he places a call. INT. INT. I want your raggedy ass back on the -ETHELINE What’s going on here? Henry and Royal look to Etheline. HENRY Hello.75. Henry takes out a pill and examines it. At Colby General. darkly: Royal stops dancing. INSERT: The pill. DAY. . He says ROYAL (CONT’D) I want you out of my house. DAY. It has pink and blue sparkles all over it and the word “Tic-Tac” printed on the side. I heard you. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL Oh. Henry jumps to his feet. determined look on his face. I’m calling in regards to a Dr. The name of the patient is Royal Tenenbaum. ROYAL She stands in the doorway. Henry goes up the stairs with a cold. STAIRWAY. Royal goes to the refrigerator and opens it. McClure. Henry walks out of the room. TELEPHONE ROOM.
They sit at a round table lit at the center of a pitch-black room. Eli is his guest.76. Royal frowns. Henry stands in the doorway. Two dalmation mice dart out across the floor. distinguished-looking man in his fifties. ELI Well. RICHIE Richie goes into the closet. The door opens. He is Peter Bradley. INT. INSERT: A television set tuned in to an interview show. There is a knock on the door. and then it opens. Pagoda lies on a hammock listening to Indian music on a portable record player. television. He stares at Pagoda. Margot and Royal are watching Eli on ROYAL Change it. PETER Right. you know. CUT TO: Richie’s room. I grew up with the Tenenbaum family. Richie comes into the room. A small room with an Indian pattern on the wallpaper. They’ve come on hard times now. Margot looks concerned. DAY. ROYAL You think we could get somebody to come over here and kill some of these mice for us? (CONTINUED) . Bullshit. HENRY How much is he paying you? Pagoda looks scared. They run under the radiator. The host is a tall. His hand is wrapped with bloody bandages. haven’t they? Eli nods sadly. PAGODA’S ROOM. MARGOT What’d you do to your hand? Nothing.
) (on the intercom) OK. PETER Not a success. Henry and Pagoda come into the room. tell him to stick them in a fucking cage or something. Or. much like the -Eli freezes. PETER Now. He looks quickly across the room. Eli’s interview continues. Those belong to Chas. ROYAL What’s cooking. Right. Well. anyway. Henry goes over to the HENRY Etheline? Would you mind coming up here for a minute. INSERT: The television set. CONTINUED: MARGOT No. your previous novel -ELI Wildcattin’. Wildcattin’ was written in a kind of obsolete vernacular. please? Royal looks at Henry suspiciously. ELI (CONT’D) Holy shit.S. Pops? HENRY You’ll see. ETHELINE (O. intercom and presses a button on it. ROYAL Well. Why? ELI Hm. he invented them.77. PETER (looking around) What? (CONTINUED) . Richie drags a large trunk out of the closet.
PETER (CONT’D) Are you all right? ELI (concerned) Why is it so dense in here? Peter hesitates. Uzi and Buckley follow them. (MORE) (CONTINUED) . stands up. HENRY (CONT’D) Pagoda has something to say. MARGOT (worried) I’ll be right back. Peter Bradley watches him go. HENRY Hold on a minute. They look stunned. Etheline and Chas come into the room. Henry steps in front of the television set and turns it off.78. Royal sits up. please. Eli removes his microphone. He braces himself against the edge of the table. CONTINUED: (2) A look of sheer horror crosses Eli’s face. What the hell kind of way to act is that? RICHIE (pause) He’s on drugs. he doesn’t. PAGODA He has the cancer. HENRY (angrily) No. HENRY (CONT’D) I know what stomach cancer looks like. Henry stares at Royal. Chas is eating a sandwich. and walks off the set. Peter looks concerned. ROYAL Son of a bitch. He turns to Royal and points at him. I’ve seen it. Ari. Margot goes to the telephone. CUT TO: Everyone watching in Richie’s bedroom. Silence. Pagoda looks worried. Everyone looks to Pagoda.
HENRY (CONT’D) Not only is there no Dr. It closed in 1974. He places a call. shit. there’s no Colby General. ETHELINE Were you part of this? HENRY Of course he was. and he is zipping up a small leather bag. No more lies. He picks up one of his bottles of pills off the night stand and leaves the rest. CONTINUED: (3) HENRY (CONT’D) And you don’t eat three cheeseburgers a day with french fries when you’ve got it. She frowns. He says ROYAL Time to come clean. ROYAL How would you know? HENRY My wife had it. Silence. Chas crushes his sandwich in his hand. please. (CONTINUED) . Pagoda looks uneasy. pal. He goes into the bathroom and closes the door. PAGODA Ah. Henry turns to Etheline. Chas hangs up. He is fully dressed in a suit. CHAS Yes. Royal pulls out his IV and the other tubes that are attached to him. He sits down on the bed and picks up the phone. McClure at Colby General. Etheline looks to Royal. Thank you. Royal comes out of the bathroom. ROYAL I guess we’re back on the street.79. man. Can you send a taxi to 111 Archer Avenue? Right away. Etheline looks to Pagoda. He looks to Pagoda. ETHELINE But why would he -Chas slams his hand against the bathroom door as hard as he can. The pain is excruciating. regretfully: Royal looks to Pagoda.
) Immediately after making this statement. HALLWAY. I did some malpractice work for him. Look. Plus. ETHELINE But we hadn’t spoken in seven years. CONTINUED: (4) Pagoda stares at Royal bitterly. Or. NARRATOR (V. I one. Royal swallows one of his pills. ETHELINE Why’d you do this to us. though. He turns and stands in ROYAL (CONT’D) know I’m the bad guy on this I just want to say that the days have been the best six probably. sad expression crosses Royal’s face. Royal begins to gather his possessions. A strange. anyway. Pete’s owed me a favor. INT.80. ETHELINE (CONT’D) What was the point? ROYAL (pause) I thought maybe I could win you back. Royal comes out of Richie’s room with his suitcases. I thought I could get rid of Henry and keep things status quo. (CONTINUED) . Royal realized that it was true. DAY. Etheline stands at the end of the hall.O. RICHIE How’d you get all these medical supplies? ROYAL (pause) A guy at St. and I got kicked out of my hotel. Richie points at the hospital bed and life-support machines. I was broke. front of everyone. Royal? Royal stops. my whole life. I do have high blood pressure. but last six days of. ROYAL I know.
in the front doorway. Royal nods. into the house. CONTINUED: ETHELINE (pause) You’re a bastard. Chassie. (CONTINUED) . ROYAL (CONT’D) He’s not your father. RICHIE You were never dying. with tears in ETHELINE (CONT’D) Goodbye. ROYAL Take it easy on those boys. Royal’s suitcases are beside him. ROYAL You know. I feel like a different person. Chas stands at the bottom of the stairs and watches Royal come down with his suitcases. Royal points to Henry. this illness. Royal waves to the driver. Dad. Margot and Henry stand at the top of the steps. STREET. Royal puts his hands in his pockets. Chas hesitates. door. MARGOT (pause) Neither are you. Royal stops in front of him. Richie. He begins to cry. EXT. INT. Richie and Royal stand on the sidewalk. A gypsy cab pulls over to the curb. He stares into space. STAIRWELL. I really do. Royal and Margot look at each other. DAY. don’t want this to happen to you. ROYAL (smiles) But I’m going to live. Richie shakes his head.81. I Royal walks past him and goes out the front DAY. It’s been very profound for me. Royal. He turns away and goes up the steps. Royal turns and walks down the stairs. Etheline stares at him angrily. this closeness to death. past Margot and Henry. her eyes. Margot closes the door.
375TH STREET Y. I want to be loved by this family. ROYAL Everyone’s against me. man. PAGODA You can’t blame them. INSERT: Page 198 of The Royal Tenenbaums. A sign next to the It says “Chapter Seven. He looks furious. Pagoda comes down the steps with two suitcases. He holds a bottle of iodine in one hand and a box of bandages in the other. PAGODA You son of a bitch. ROYAL How you doing. pal? Pagoda drops his suitcases to the ground. He collects his suitcases. please. But. Pagoda pours some iodine on a cotton ball and applies it to Royal’s knife wound. DAY.” A huge building that looks like a castle. Pagoda’s teeth flash as he goes over to Royal and stabs him with a penknife. Royal says to the driver: ROYAL (CONT’D) The 375th Street Y. DAY. Royal leans on Pagoda as they get into the gypsy cab. Royal grimaces. door says “375th Street Y. CONTINUED: The front door of the house opens. Royal screams. An extremely small room with a low ceiling and a single bed.” INT. ROYAL (CONT’D) How much money you got? (CONTINUED) . EXT. He falls on the ground. Royal stands in front of a mirror while Pagoda stitches up the knife-wound in his side. He clutches his side. dammit. 375TH STREET Y.82. ROYAL Goddammit! That’s the last time I get knifed by you! You hear me? Pagoda helps Royal to his feet. ROYAL I know. The gypsy cab driver watches blankly.
ROYAL (CONT’D) We’ll figure something out. He puts on a slow jazz record and sits down across from Etheline at a small table with a vase of roses. NIGHT. HENRY’S APARTMENT. It’s awkward sitting here in our pajamas and everything. please. The doors to the balcony are open. Henry refills Etheline’s glass. CONTINUED: PAGODA I don’t have. Henry has on pale-blue silk pajamas. All right. Etheline wears a cream silk nightgown. two bottles of wine. She drinks her whole glass all at once. Silence. HENRY Would you like another glass of wine? ETHELINE Yes. Henry’s bedroom is filled with paintings and sculptures from the fifties and sixties. and three candles on it. You’re broke? Royal looks furious. Etheline says suddenly: ETHELINE (CONT’D) Maybe we’re rushing things. We don’t have to do this right now.83. ETHELINE Henry gets up and changes the record to a more upbeat number. OK. ROYAL (CONT’D) You got to be kidding me. Let’s just try and have a nice time. They look at each other fondly for a minute. He clinks his glass against hers and takes a small sip. Henry looks uneasy. HENRY (relieved) You’re right. INT. and there is a gentle breeze. ROYAL (frowns) What do you mean? Pagoda nods. (CONTINUED) . How’re we supposed to pay for the damn room? Pagoda looks up at Royal coldly. Henry.
He looks disappointed. Etheline hesitates. Let’s just ETHELINE Actually. I should go. CONTINUED: HENRY Yes. HENRY Can I. Silence.84. BRIDGE. Henry nods. either. He looks to Etheline. DAY. His face is smeared with dirt and traces of paint. ELI I’m not in love with you any more. Etheline picks up her overnight bag off a chair and goes into the bathroom. MARGOT I didn’t know you ever were. Margot waits in the middle of the bridge. ELI Let’s not make this any more difficult than it already is. at least. There’s no hurry. Eli walks towards her from the opposite bank. He stops a few feet away from Margot. ETHELINE No. MARGOT (pause) ELI OK. I think you’re right. and a crepe suzette on it. A footbridge over the river. a chocolate mousse. EXT. I’m not in love with you. and there’s no need for us to force anything. OK. He gets up and turns off the record player. (CONTINUED) . a bowl of strawberries. His clothes look severely dishevelled. and he dips it in his water glass. I should go. His napkin catches on fire. offer you some dessert? Henry points to a dessert cart with a lemon meringue pie. I think we’re both a little uneasy. what? MARGOT OK. two cheesecakes. Henry sits alone. Henry quickly strikes a match and sets the crepe suzette on fire.
Raleigh. He opens and begins to read. Richie looks over his shoulder. I assure you. MARGOT (CONT’D) And your grades in -ELI Please. INT. MARGOT Do you send my mother your clippings? Eli hesitates. (CONTINUED) . CUT TO: A second bridge. PRIVATE DETECTIVE’S OFFICE. You’re in love with Richie. two hundred yards away. Margot goes A small room on the 30th floor of an office building. Silence. over and stands beside him. DETECTIVE Would you like to examine the report? RALEIGH We would. Eli turns away and looks sadly out at the river. ELI (CONT’D) You never gave me the time of day until I started getting good reviews. The detective hands Raleigh a manila folder.85. A large man in a coat and tie takes photographs of Margot and Eli with a telephoto lens. rather. MARGOT Your reviews aren’t that good. gentlemen? RALEIGH Very little. DETECTIVE How much do you already know. He is a detective. ELI But the sales are. CONTINUED: ELI I know. Which is sick and gross. stop ridiculing me. Richie and Dudley sit across a desk from the large man in the coat and tie. Margot nods. DAY. Yes.
CONTINUED: MONTAGE: Margot at age twelve buys a pack of cigarettes in a bodega. and Margot runs her hands through the girl’s hair. RALEIGH (CONT’D) She smokes. next to the falcon’s coop. Richie looks stunned. She carries a small suitcase. CUT TO: Raleigh turning to the last page of the report. Margot kisses him on the mouth. The girl puts her arms around Margot’s waist. Yes. She shimmies down the gutter and runs across the lawn. Margot stands inside a torch-lit shack among a group of dancing Rastafarians in Jamaica. Peter Bradley comes up behind her and puts his hands down her shirt. Margot stands in a pool of water facing a young tribesman in New Guinea. A topless girl appears next to her. Margot smokes a cigarette. leaning against the chimney. eating a croissant. He has on warpaint and wears a large tusk in his nose. She holds hands with one of them while he lights a large brown-paper-wrapped marijuana cigarette. Another man has a small machine gun. A man dressed in a black shirt with a priest’s collar places a string of shells around Margot’s neck.) Margot climbs out the window of a girls’ dormitory.a skinny guy with a Mohawk on a city bus. (In each of the following images. Silence.a tough-looking Irishman on the deck of a ferry.a Puerto Rican teenager in the back seat of a taxi. DETECTIVE . Margot smiles at him mischievously. She smokes one on the roof of the house. Margot opens a window and looks out at the Eifel Tower. . He closes the folder and looks to Richie. Margot sits in a make-up chair at a television studio. She wears a bra and a slip. Margot makes out with: . . There is a goat in the doorway. . and the ocean glimmers outside.Eli in a deserted subway train going full speed at night.86.
He holds a pair of scissors in his hand. He picks up the razor. ROYAL I appreciate that. Dusty. No. He looks back in the mirror. ROYAL Put in a good word for us. Richie stands in front of the mirror. He has clipped off his beard. and says quietly: (CONTINUED) . Richie walks by in a bathrobe. MANAGER All right. DUSTY I already did. He carries a pair of scissors. takes a deep breath. I’ll contact you in the next twenty-four hours. He opens the medicine cabinet and takes out a can of shaving cream and a straight razor. Dudley walks over to him with a box of building blocks. DAY. Pagoda. Which way are you leaning. BASEMENT. by the way? MANAGER I’ll inform you of my decision at the appropriate time. He says quietly: DUDLEY You want to play some word games or do some experiments on me or anything? Raleigh answers without moving. RALEIGH’S LABORATORY. INT. DAY. He covers his face with the shaving cream. INT. Royal. Hot water runs full blast in the shower and the sink. Raleigh lies face down on the couch with his head buried in the cushions. closes the door.87. He goes into the bathroom. and locks it. DAY. BATHROOM. Everything seems to be in order. The manager is reviewing a typewritten document. He pushes his hand back through his hair. Dusty and the manager of the hotel sit at a table in the laundry room of the Lindbergh Palace. I get it. INT. RALEIGH His voice is muffled.
along his left forearm. Ari and Uzi hold on as Anwar weaves the BMW in and out of traffic. MARGOT Where is he. His Who? INT. He sits down on the floor. He switches hands with the razor and slashes his other wrist. She looks around frantically. The floor is flooded with water and blood. Dudley screams hysterically. and then I’ll come back to check on him. four times. HOSPITAL ROOM. Etheline hangs up the telephone and runs into the hallway. CONTINUED: RICHIE I’m going to kill myself tomorrow. She throws open the closet door and grabs her coat. Richie slices the razor deeply. Dudley bursts into the room. Blood runs into the sink. Margot bursts through the doors of the emergency room. Dudley? DUDLEY (pause) DAY. Etheline nods. MONTAGE: Three paramedics race down a corridor pushing Richie on a gurney. CUT TO: The bathroom door slamming open. Everyone is gathered around Richie in his hospital bed. She sees Dudley. Buckley has his head out the window. He looks horrified. Raleigh and Dudley run beside him. Margot holds Richie’s hand. They are covered with blood. She has tears all over her face.88. MARGOT How do you feel? The doctor (CONTINUED) . Silence. She rushes over and grabs his arms. Richie is slumped in the corner with shaving cream all over his face. leaves the room. arms are covered with bandages. She sees blood on him. A doctor gives him an injection and says to Etheline: DOCTOR He’ll probably sleep for several hours. Chas.
It’s a suicide ETHELINE All right. WAITING AREA. The doctor The corridor outside Richie’s room. Margot sits next to Raleigh. DAY. You did? MARGOT RICHIE Yeah. RICHIE CHAS Could you paraphrase it for us? RICHIE I don’t think so. Ari and Uzi sit on Chas’ lap. CHAS Can we read it? No. That’s enough. INT. Etheline fills out some insurance forms. RICHIE I wrote a suicide note. CHAS Why’d you try to kill yourself? ETHELINE Don’t press him right now. said to let him sleep. Everyone looks slightly confused. note. ETHELINE Are you in any pain? RICHIE Not really. Right after I regained consciousness. (CONTINUED) . Raleigh stares into space.89. CHAS Is it dark? RICHIE Of course it’s dark. thanks. CONTINUED: RICHIE Fine.
Everyone looks at Raleigh and Margot. He puts it in his mouth. Raleigh stares at Margot in silence. my goodness. please? Margot takes out some matches and lights Raleigh’s cigarette. RALEIGH (CONT’D) And a light. ETHELINE What’s he talking about? MARGOT It doesn’t matter. Margot sighs. I know. (CONTINUED) . Everyone looks surprised and extremely uncomfortable. She reaches into her pocket and takes out a pack of cigarettes. ETHELINE Oh. CONTINUED: RALEIGH You’ve made a cuckold of me. She gives one to Raleigh. MARGOT RALEIGH And you’ve nearly killed your poor brother. RALEIGH Many times over. RALEIGH May I have a cigarette? What? MARGOT RALEIGH Shall I repeat the question? MARGOT You don’t smoke.90. RALEIGH (bitterly) I bloody well know that. RALEIGH She’s balling Eli Cash. MARGOT Silence. I’m sorry.
out the door. Royal speaks anxiously to a nurse at the registration desk. he unintentionally clamps them to his necktie and pulls his necktie up to his temple. He looks to Etheline with an embarrassed expression. The door opens at the end of the hall. A gypsy cab stops in front of the hospital. I think you should quit. Silence. please. HOSPITAL. He swats at the necktie. Royal and Pagoda get out and walk quickly into the building. They are both dressed in hotel elevator-operator uniforms. Your name? NURSE (CONTINUED) . Three hours later. EXT. down the hall. NIGHT.91. CONTINUED: (2) RALEIGH (CONT’D) Thank you. STREET. INT. but she hesitates. NIGHT. He says earnestly: HENRY How can I help? Etheline begins to point to Henry’s necktie suspended near his ear. ROYAL Richie Tenenbaum. Henry Sherman comes in. Etheline looks disturbed. Henry picks up his glasses and puts them back on. Margot lights a cigarette for herself. Etheline sees him and stands up. He starts to put on his glasses. Margot nods. He goes over to her. As he unfolds them. Etheline puts her arms around him. Raleigh stands up and walks away. Pagoda stands behind him. ETHELINE Well. Henry senses something wrong in his peripheral vision and looks confused. ETHELINE How long have you been a smoker? MARGOT (pause) Twenty-two years. She hugs him tightly and starts to cry. hurling his glasses off his face and on to the floor.
CONTINUED: ROYAL Royal Tenenbaum. Attempted suicide. Royal looks very upset. Silence. Richie looks to Royal and Pagoda. She looks back to Royal. The nurse looks down at her registration book. man. A bus pulls over in front of Richie. She frowns. NURSE I’m afraid visiting hours are over. sir. EXT. ROYAL (CONT’D) I have to say.92. Royal calls out: Richie? ROYAL He sees their uniforms. NIGHT. SIDEWALK. He is dressed in surgical scrubs and bedroom slippers. ROYAL (CONT’D) Where’re you going? Silence. He sounds desperate. Royal looks puzzled. The doors open. afternoon. he didn’t look half bad for a suicide. anyway. His arms are covered with bandages. Pagoda points to Richie waiting at the bus stop on the corner. They NURSE I have to refer you to Dr. ROYAL I think if we shimmy up that gutter and jump across the window ledge we can pry open the ventilation shaft and -PAGODA There he is. Burroughs. Royal and Pagoda watch it drive away. Richie gets on the bus. He hesitates. He’ll be in tomorrow Royal and Pagoda stand in front of the hospital. (CONTINUED) . ROYAL (hesitates) Why? What does it say there? don’t want me? I’m sorry. Royal points to the edge of the roof.
He puts his arm around Royal’s shoulder. shouldn’t you be on some kind of suicide watch or something? RICHIE (pause) Probably. TENT. Hello? MARGOT (CONT’D) Richie looks at the seventeen paintings of Margot hanging in the corner. RICHIE I checked myself out.93. NIGHT. MARGOT (CONT’D) I thought you were supposed to be in the hospital. INT. She seems worried. Margot calls out from inside. (CONTINUED) . Margot puts out her cigarette. Richie looks into the tent. CONTINUED: Pagoda nods. with Margot slightly older. Richie walks in and sees the lamp glowing inside his tent. Margot is sitting on the floor next to a record player smoking a cigarette. An unfinished eighteenth. INT. RICHIE What are you doing in my tent? MARGOT (hesitates) Just listening to some records. MARGOT Well. NIGHT. BALLROOM. INT. Richie goes to the tent at the center of the room. NIGHT. BUS. An old city busy with trash on the floor and graffiti spraypainted on the walls. leans against the wall. She looks startled. MARGOT Who’s there? Richie does not respond. Richie sits in the back row and rides downtown. The ballroom on the top floor of the Tenenbaum house. She has a Rolling Stones record in her hand.
RICHIE I heard about your ex-husband. and he came out to me in a canoe.94. (CONTINUED) . She puts on the Rolling Stones record. MARGOT Yeah. MARGOT Jesus. Richie nods. Richie unwraps one of his bandages. Silence. We were only married for nine days. MARGOT (sighs) I know. His arm is covered with jagged. That looks horrible. I was swimming. MARGOT (pause) Desmond? RICHIE (hesitates) I guess so. RICHIE (nods) And I heard about Eli. we mostly just talked about you. Richie says quietly: RICHIE I have to tell you something. I didn’t get his name. It plays quietly. He wraps the bandage back around his arm. Richie. Margot sighs. crisscrossing stitches and dried blood. Margot looks stricken. Poor Eli. I guess that was the attraction. Anyway. RICHIE (surprised) You did? MARGOT Yeah. if you know what I mean. I met him in the ocean. MARGOT How many stitches did you get? RICHIE I don’t know. You want to see? Margot nods. CONTINUED: Richie goes into the tent and sits down Indian-style in front of Margot.
MARGOT You’re not going to do it again. I don’t know what to do. (CONTINUED) . She smooths back his hair. Margot sighs. isn’t it? Richie nods. She starts crying. Margot looks at his Boy Scout MARGOT (CONT’D) This is the one we took to the museum. but it’s not your fault. Richie looks worried. She lies down next to Richie and puts her arm around his shoulder. and it only got worse. MARGOT Let’s lie down for a minute. CONTINUED: (2) MARGOT What’s that? RICHIE I love you. Margot looks back into the tent. Richie lies down on the cot.95. Richie. sleeping bag. MARGOT (CONT’D) Why’d you do it? Because of me? RICHIE Yeah. RICHIE I can’t stop thinking about you. MARGOT I think we’re just going to have to be secretly in love with each other and leave it at that. Margot gets up and goes out of the tent. She puts her hands on the back of his head. They listen to the music for a minute. Margot nods. Richie sits alone for a minute. MARGOT (sadly) I love you. and she kisses him back. She kisses Richie’s hand. Richie pulls away from her and looks into her eyes. are you? RICHIE (pause) I doubt it. I went away for a year. too. Richie kisses Margot on the mouth.
Royal closes the doors and pulls a lever. sir. INSERT: Page 230 of The Royal Tenenbaums. Margot turns away and goes out the tent. The elevator at the Lindbergh Palace. The doors open. Pagoda hesitates.96. (CONTINUED) . Richie comes downstairs in his pajamas. He steps into Royal’s Going up? Richie looks back to Royal. He hangs it on the wall in its place. Then there are Margot’s books. INT. He looks exhausted and depressed. elevator. DAY. Royal sees Richie looks surprised. Raleigh’s book. CONTINUED: (3) They look at each other for a long minute. Royal The doors of another elevator open. He spreads them out on the floor among his Matchbox cars and tennis trophies. Royal stands with his back to Richie. Pagoda Richie looks at him. He takes three well-dressed businessmen down to the lobby. waves to Richie. ROYAL Yeah. RICHIE (CONT’D) So you’re elevator operators now. Richie nods. We just started. is the operator. INT. DAY. It says “Chapter Eight. ROYAL (CONT’D) He nods.” The next morning. One of the businessmen hands Royal a dollar as they walk out into the lobby. standing in front of the elevator. HALLWAY. The record ends. The book on top is Family of Geniuses. ROYAL (CONT’D) What floor? RICHIE It doesn’t matter. He carries the stuffed boar’s head. Henry’s book and Eli’s book. Royal is dressed in his elevator-operator uniform. He Richie waves back. ELEVATOR. Richie picks up the stack of books off the table next to his cot. The elevator goes up. A dalmation mouse appears and crawls among them. but we’ll get a bump when we join the union. ROYAL Thank you.
RICHIE (CONT’D) Well. I think I know the answer. I RICHIE You asked me why I choked out there that day. (CONTINUED) . RICHIE ROYAL Since when? RICHIE Since always. I guess I’m trying to prove I can pay my dues and what-not. Royal and Richie stand on the edge of the roof. ROOF. just hope somebody knows. we’re broke. ROYAL Does she know? Uh-huh. But. looking out at the city. Silence. Royal turns around quickly and looks to Richie. and I wanted your advice. RICHIE ROYAL And what’s her feeling about it? RICHIE I think she feels confused. CONTINUED: RICHIE What made you decide to do that? ROYAL Well.97. ROYAL He says quietly: He nods. Richie nods. ROYAL Margot Tenenbaum? Yeah. in answer to your question. DAY. Silence. Sure. EXT. Royal looks surprised and moved.
ROYAL No. He stares down at the ground.98. ROYAL I wish I had a little more to offer in that department. and nobody knows what’s going to happen. right? Richie nods. He says quietly: ROYAL (CONT’D) Do you still consider me your father? RICHIE Sure. but I just don’t. I never understood her. I wish I knew what to tell you. illegal. Silence. Royal shrugs. RICHIE I don’t think so. CONTINUED: ROYAL I can understand that. His expression changes. RICHIE (pause) That’s OK. it’s not. ROYAL (CONT’D) It’s still frowned upon. you love each other. I do. Pop. Royal nods. RICHIE I know you do. Why not? Hell. myself. but then what isn’t these days. so -Royal stops short. It’s probably We’re not related by ROYAL (CONT’D) I don’t know. blood. Royal looks very sad. takes a deep breath. ROYAL (pause) That’s true. ROYAL (CONT’D) You know what? Don’t listen to me. Maybe it works. Royal nods. He keeps looking down at the ground. (CONTINUED) He . I never understood any of us.
(CONTINUED) . INT. feathers on its neck and says softly: RICHIE You came back. the son of a bitch must be molting.99. ROYAL (CONT’D) She’s a great looking girl. ELEVATOR. DAY. A falcon flies in a low circle around the building. Royal looks up at the sky. but now he has white feathers on his neck. ROYAL Well. and -Mordecai? RICHIE Royal looks up. RICHIE I need your help with something else. by the way. ROYAL What do you mean? here. RICHIE I’m not so sure this is Mordecai. He hesitates. He must have a goddamn radar in his brain. Richie frowns. Richie seems uncertain. ROYAL Jiminy Cricket. and she’s smart as a whip. perched on Richie’s arm. Richie looks off into the distance. The falcon is Richie and Royal ride down in the elevator. He seems frightened. Silence. He frowns. CONTINUED: (2) ROYAL I don’t blame you. He flew right in RICHIE Yeah. ROYAL He smooths out the Richie slowly reaches out to the falcon. Royal and Richie study the falcon. Royal and Richie watch as it lands on the railing in front of them. Holy shit.
He says awkwardly: ELI (CONT’D) Hey. ROYAL Royal throws the lever on the elevator to full speed. ELI (pause) Is it just you guys? Richie looks slightly confused. ELI (CONT’D) I guess Margot and your mother couldn’t make it. Silence. DAY. ELI’S STUDY. Royal and Pagoda follow him. (CONTINUED) . Eli has yellow powder on his nose. It accelerates and starts shaking violently. Richie walks into the room. Yes? ELI Everyone looks up. Electronic music blasts form the stereo. They are dressed in their elevator-operator uniforms. What’s the situation? RICHIE Well.100. Richie. I think -Hang on. The door opens and Richie looks inside. Eli looks confused and uneasy. Three Egyptian men are chopping up yellow powder on the table. INT. Eli and the Egyptian men stare at Richie. CONTINUED: ROYAL (excitedly) You got it. He yells into a walkie-talkie: Pagoda! ROYAL (CONT’D) Let’s hit it! RICHIE (hesitates) I didn’t mean right this second. There is a knock on the door. RICHIE We want to take you to get some help. Eli sits on the couch in his study working on a jigsaw puzzle of the Beatles crossing Abbey Road.
and Margot. I heard about you Silence. please? The Egyptian men hesitate. RICHIE You don’t have to say anything. Eli looks deeply depressed. Eli gets up and goes over to the window. I’m sorry. across from them. ROYAL Would you excuse us. ELI What do you mean? Are we? RICHIE Royal and Pagoda sit The ELI Of course. Royal looks to the Egyptian men.101. He sits down next to Eli. arms. Richie goes over and stands next to him. (CONTINUED) . Pagoda points to the door. RICHIE Are we still friends? Eli seems embarrassed and hurt. He sees the bandages around Richie’s ELI (CONT’D) What happened there? RICHIE (hesitates) Nothing. RICHIE It doesn’t matter. CONTINUED: Eli looks disappointed. Richie nods. ELI I don’t know what to say. Egyptian men leave the room. He looks out at the backyard. I can’t believe you would ask me that. RICHIE Where’s Sabrina? ELI (pause) They went back to England.
but it still would’ve meant a lot to me. please. and hail a taxi. and picks a dead leaf off a branch of a tree. reaches out. They watch Eli drop to the ground. Margot sits across from Royal. Royal and Richie rush over to the window. quietly: Eli looks to Royal. PAGODA There he goes. He looks to Richie. Anyway. you know? Richie nods. over to the window and looks out. ELI But it doesn’t mean what it used to. Royal is dressed in his elevator-operator uniform. Every booth is filled with divorced fathers and their young daughters. He sees Eli running down the fire escape. What would you like. I do recognize that I have a problem. INT. DAY. Let me just get my things. has on socks but no shoes. ROYAL I want to order some ice cream for my daughter. does it? Richie shakes his head. ROYAL Me. too. Eli goes into the bathroom and locks the door. too. He Pagoda goes A room decorated like a birthday cake. Royal nods and says Me. and I want to get better. I really appreciate your coming over here now.102. Eli opens the window. Margot? (CONTINUED) . CONTINUED: (2) ELI I always wanted to be a Tenenbaum. ELI (CONT’D) I wish you’d’ve done this for me when I was a kid. RICHIE (pause) But you didn’t have a drug problem then. ICE-CREAM PARLOR. A waiter stands next to him. ELI Yeah. run into the street.
(CONTINUED) . MARGOT Silence.103. Helen. I think people want to hear that. I only have five Margot sighs. DAY. Silence. one. The waiter nods and walks away. Royal looks frustrated. MARGOT (sadly) I know it was. but I’m not going to discuss it with you. He leans across the table and says urgently: ROYAL Can’t someone be a shit their whole life and want to repair the damage? I mean. MARGOT (CONT’D) You probably don’t even know my middle name. MARGOT You don’t have ROYAL (surprised) That was my mother’s name. I guess. Royal stands on the sidewalk in front of the Tenenbaum house. Royal sighs. minutes. Do they? Royal nods. so am I. ROYAL (pause) It’s a trick question. SIDEWALK. CONTINUED: MARGOT I told you. MARGOT (hesitates) Well. He has a bunch of white flowers in his hand. Nothing. EXT. MARGOT (CONT’D) I’ll have a butterscotch sundae. ROYAL Your brother’s all torn up inside.
Actually. Royal calls up to them: ROYAL Anybody feel like grabbing a couple of burgers and hitting the cemetery? Chas appears between Ari and Uzi. He stands alone with his hands in his pockets. Etheline and Henry see him. Royal throws Ari looks out the window. HENRY (hesitates) Hello. Royal smiles. I Etheline and Henry look at Royal warily. (CONTINUED) . He looks down to Royal. ETHELINE ROYAL Royal looks to Henry. She opens the envelope. Royal hands Etheline the envelope. Royal motions to the Mexican man. They both look depressed. Chas closes the window. ROYAL She says quietly: Etheline looks to Royal. made it. EXT. Royal is waiting at the bus stop on the corner. Ethel. Ari opens the window. CONTINUED: Anwar is asleep in the BMW parked at the curb. Uzi appears beside him. STREET. Royal has a large envelope in his hands. ETHELINE What’s this? A divorce. He’s a notary public. It contains a sheaf of typwritten documents. Etheline and Henry come down the front steps of Henry’s building. Royal looks nervous. She looks to Henry. a pebble at a window on the third floor. next to a small Mexican man in a windbreaker and a tie. ROYAL (CONT’D) This is Sanchez. Henry shrugs. Henry does not know what to say.104. DAY. From you? Yes. Royal goes over to them ROYAL I got you something. CUT TO: Royal putting his bunch of flowers on Rachael’s grave. He walks away.
A city bus approaches from the next ROYAL (CONT’D) ROYAL (CONT’D) Here comes my bus. ROYAL Sanchez just has to file the Royal signals to the bus driver. Royal hands the sheaf of documents to Sanchez. ROYAL (CONT’D) You own this building. ETHELINE Are we divorced? Almost. Royal looks to Henry. He turns back to Etheline. ROYAL (CONT’D) I didn’t think so much of him at first. I used to be a homeowner myself. but now I get it. Sanchez. but my son expropriated it from me. And congratulations. please. He’s everything I’m not. Henry does not respond. Henry? It’s magnificent. block. ROYAL (CONT’D) I love you. papers. And here.105. Etheline signs. Royal hands Etheline a pen and points to a dotted line. Etheline. CONTINUED: SANCHEZ Hello. Etheline signs. Ethel. Sanchez puts several stamps and notations on it. Thanks. Etheline signs. don’t you. Royal looks up at Henry’s building. (CONTINUED) . ROYAL (CONT’D) And initial here. both of you. SANCHEZ You’re welcome. ROYAL If you’ll just sign here. sir.
He yells: ROYAL (CONT’D) Take back Pagoda. Royal slips Ari and Uzi each a large purple-and-green-striped jawbreaker. A twenty-one-year-old black Navy midshipman helps Henry finish tying his bow tie. He turns away suddenly. Royal smiles at Ari and Uzi. and Henry stand watching with Sanchez. He looks around. They hide them in their jackets. CHAS’ BEDROOM. He looks lost and sad. STREET. He has on sunglasses. He hugs Pagoda and kisses Ari and Uzi on the tops of their heads. INT.106. INSERT: An invitation to Etheline’s and Henry’s wedding at the house on Archer Avenue. Uzi and Pagoda stand in front of the house with Buckley. They help people out of their cars. INT. and direct them to the front door. There are about fifty guests. Henry studies his tie in the mirror. Royal and Dusty get out of a gypsy cab. EXT. DAY. and he is covered with grass and dirt. jumps inside. give them programs for the ceremony.” Ari. He whispers: ROYAL I got you some jawbreakers. runs to the bus. and He looks back to Etheline. Etheline Eli drives through a tunnel at top speed in the middle of the night. Electronic music blasts from the stereo. It is nearly identical to the invitation on the cover of the first edition of The Royal Tenenbaums. CONTINUED: (2) Royal smiles. receiving the wedding guests. The midshipman is Walter. It says “Chapter Nine. (CONTINUED) . Half of them are black and half are white. ELI’S CAR. The door closes. The members of the wedding party are dressed in morning suits. HENRY It’s slightly uneven. She nods. will you? Etheline hesitates. DAY. CUT TO: Page 258. NIGHT.
MARGOT’S BEDROOM. ETHELINE What are you chewing on? MARGOT My nicotine inhaler. I’m a widower myself. RICHIE Nice to meet you. Walter. HENRY I know you are. WALTER Nice to meet you. Margot looks out the window at the guests arriving on the street while Etheline finishes her make-up. Richie. ETHELINE Is it working? It’s supposed to (CONTINUED) . I forgot. CHAS Oh. He nods. yeah. (pause) You know. Chas. This is my son. CHAS (CONT’D) So you’ve been married before? Yes. Henry? RICHIE Richie cracks Henry looks to the door. Walter Sherman. He and Walter shake hands. HENRY I’m a widower. CONTINUED: Henry unties his knot and starts from scratch. INT. CHAS Henry’s your dad? Chas is standing in the doorway. open the door and looks into the room. DAY. Chas looks to Henry. HENRY Hello. help me quit. Walter hesitates. Margot has a white plastic inhaler in her mouth.107. Richie comes into the room.
PRIEST (nods) So they were raised in the church. Uzi and Buckley watching frozen as Eli’s car races toward them. accelerates. There is a tremendous crashing boom and the sound of shattering glass. Royal and the priest look down the block. He wears a distracted smile. DAY. MARGOT’S BEDROOM. He looks to Ari and Uzi and hollers: Boys! ROYAL Royal jumps down the stairs. Eli’s face is covered with Apache warpaint. ETHELINE What was that? (CONTINUED) . but the children are three-quarters MickCatholic. ELI’S CAR.108. of course. CUT TO: Ari. Royal looks panicked. ROYAL Well. Etheline rushes over next to Margot at the window. DAY. ROYAL (pause) I believe so. I’m half Hebrew. I really don’t know. Eli’s convertible skids through the turn on to Archer Avenue. A car’s tires squeal around the corner. CONTINUED: MARGOT Not really. Royal and a very small Irish priest stand together at the top of the steps. Ari and Uzi tie Buckley’s leash around a pole in front of the house. STREET. DAY. and steers toward the Tenenbaum house. INT. EXT. He is dressed in a morning suit. INT. Royal and the priest frown. He downshifts. He whispers: ELI Here I come.
109. They look alarmed at his appearance. ARI Dad. Royal holds Ari under one arm and Uzi under the other. STAIRWELL. DAY. Chas grabs Ari and Uzi. He yells: CHAS Where are you? Royal and Richie stand up among the rubble. EXT. and mail is scattered all over the sidewalk. LIVING ROOM. covered in glass and debris. It’s OK. ROYAL They’re OK. He is bleeding from a head wound. Chas. DAY. He sets them down. barefoot. Three dalmation mice dart around the room in confusion. He falls and bangs against the wall. it to Eli. CONTINUED: MARGOT Eli just crashed his car into the front of the house. He examines them. Chas runs over to them. There is also a crushed mailbox. ETHELINE Oh. my God. Several guests help Eli stagger to his feet. Eli puts it on. ROYAL (CONT’D) They’re safe. DAY. He hands The wedding guests quickly begin to come out the front door and gather around the smashed car. What? CHAS (CONTINUED) . The lighter airmail envelopes drift about in the wind. Eli sits on the floor. He gets back up and keeps running. INT. INT. ELI Where are my shoes? Dudley finds one of Eli’s shoes in the fireplace. Chas runs down the steps. Chas sprints down the stairs three at a time. particularly the warpaint. SIDEWALK. they ran over Buckley.
Eli takes it quickly. Chas bolts up the steps. He holds one of the canapes to him. Chas looks to Royal.110. banging his way through the crowd. ELI Did I hit anybody? Everyone looks to Eli. He turns to the wreckage. knocks over a chair. He looks to Chas and points to Royal. does not appear to notice Eli’s strange appearance and injuries. He darts away from the window. Eli hesitates. Royal shrugs. Eli body(CONTINUED) . He Pagoda looks up from a tray of canapes he is preparing. appears in the broken front window of the home. Royal nods. DAY. RICHIE He saved them. Chas looks to Richie. INT. ROYAL I think we lost Buckley. Buckley’s leash remains tied to the railing and extends taut beneath the wheels of Eli’s car. checks him and breaks out of the room. and ducks into the kitchen. HALLWAY. PAGODA This is the quail’s egg. Kind of. Richie brushes some debris off Uzi’s hair. Ari and Uzi start to cry. KITCHEN. Eli! CHAS The guests panic as Eli jumps over a couch. Chas smashes open the door. CONTINUED: Chas looks to Royal. Chas! INT. ELI (CONT’D) Is everybody okay? Eli sees Chas staring at him. He did? He says blankly: CHAS Eli Richie nods. ROYAL Wait! DAY. He screams: Chas bursts into the house.
Chas? Chas hesitates. Eli runs to the back wall and tries the gate. Chas grabs him by the arm. Help! ELI Please! Chas yells insanely. Chas picks up Eli and tries to throw him over the wall. He and Chas look at each other. He throws Eli over the wall. He seems drained. NEIGHBOR’S YARD. Eli scratches and clutches. Chas lies down on the ground. The wedding guests scream and yell and try to break it up or get away. He turns to everyone watching him. He has his hand over his eye. Eli slips out the back door and sprints into the garden. CHAS ELI (pause) Is he dead? Yeah. They both stare up at the sky. There are bonsai trees all around them. Richie falls backwards into the bushes. Eli yells. Chas elbows Richie in the face. They look stunned.111. (CONTINUED) . BACKYARD. Chas lands in a Zen garden. Eli is stretched out on his back. It is locked. Chas breathes heavily. It is very quiet. next to Eli. EXT. DAY. DAY. RICHIE He climbs over the wall. ELI Did I hit the dog? Yeah. Richie sits up in the bushes. Chas! RICHIE Don’t! Richie tries to pull Chas off Eli. swings him around. Chas tackles him hard. CHAS ELI (pause) I need help. People rush into the backyard. CONTINUED: They slam past the priest and knock him down the basement stairs. and slams him against the wall. Richie runs outside. EXT.
But I’d feel pretty blue if I didn’t think you were going to forgive me. A small Asian woman in a kimono looks out at ROYAL (CONT’D) Can we get into your backyard. PARAMEDIC I think he may’ve broken his ankle. You’re just a kind of a son of a bitch. A plaque next to the front door says “Residence of the Japanese Ambassador. Henry nods. The door opens. DAY. (CONTINUED) . Henry? Henry looks to Royal. Raleigh holds the priest’s hand. He looks back behind him and yells to someone: WALTER Go around to the other side! EXT.112. an ambulance. He says suddenly: ROYAL Can I say something to you. EXT.” Royal knocks. He says gently: HENRY I don’t think you’re an asshole. I appreciate that. Royal looks to Henry. There are two police cars. Royal seems genuinely moved by this remark. ROYAL Well. Raleigh and two paramedics roll the priest on a gurney. a tow-truck and a fire engine in front of the house. They wait. ROYAL (CONT’D) I’ve been considered an asshole for about as long as I can remember. EMBASSY. ma’am? We got a couple of boys out there. them. That’s just my style. Henry and Royal run around the corner and up the steps of a neighbor’s house. DAY. SIDEWALK. CONTINUED: CHAS So do I. Walter looks over the top of the wall. Royal. down at Chas and Eli.
The police officer studies Eli’s driver’s license. (CONTINUED) .113. POLICE OFFICER I love your work. It is scratched badly and looks terrible. He looks very upset. What kind of Royal points at the dalmation. Dusty stands with Richie on the sidewalk and examines his eye. Royal looks impressed. ROYAL (CONT’D) Sit. The dalmation sits. indeed. papers you got for him? One of the firemen shrugs. His warpaint is smeared. ELI (touched) How sweet of you to say so. smashed it into the house. Royal stands among a group of firemen with a dalmation. ROYAL I think he’s part mutt. and killed that poor dog. DUSTY Can you see out of it? Richie covers his good eye to test his bad eye. ELI At which point I apparently lost control of the vehicle. ELI (pause) I am. Sparkplug. CONTINUED: RALEIGH That’s not terribly serious. Eli is being questioned by a police officer. POLICE OFFICER You’re Eli Cash. RICHIE Not really. is it? (to the priest) Do you have an alternative? The priest shakes his head. and there are several bandages on his head and arms.
ETHELINE I know. WALTER But these aren’t structure-bearing elements. Page me if it spreads to the other eye. CHAS What’s this? ROYAL I just bought him. at the moment. CONTINUED: (2) DUSTY Uh-huh. Minor corneal damage. Raleigh and Dudley stand next to each other wearing firemen’s helmets. RALEIGH What’s so funny. but there’s nothing we can do for him. Etheline goes over to them. CHAS He looks back to Royal. ARI But Buckley’s still under there. Chas looks at the dalmation. It’s still best to file under force majeure and recoup the deductible. ROYAL I got you a new dog for the boys. You did? Royal nods. Ari and Uzi try to look at Buckley under Eli’s car as several firemen and tow-truck drivers attach straps and chains to the wheels and axle. Dad. Royal takes the dalmation over to Chas. (CONTINUED) . Walter points to the rubble.114. Dudley laughs crazily. Dudley? DUDLEY You look great! Henry and Walter survey the scene from the smashed-out living room window. Silence. HENRY It doesn’t matter. ETHELINE You boys come over here with me.
Margot says quietly: MARGOT Well. Richie has an ice pack over his eye. next to the falcon in its coop. Chas suddenly starts crying. (CONTINUED) . He nods. RICHIE I don’t know. Royal looks back at her. He takes it. He stares at the ground. ROYAL You’re welcome. CHAS We’ve had a rough year. I’ve been trying to make it up to you. Ari takes the leash. Royal holds out the leash. ROYAL I know you have. Uzi pets the dalmation. MARGOT I wonder what happened to him. Etheline smiles sadly. CHAS Chas hesitates. CHAS What’s his name? ROYAL (quietly) Sparkplug. Dad. Royal puts his hand on Chas’ head. EXT. I’m sure he’ll get over it. (pause) Sometimes when people have a traumatic experience. All of you. their hair turns white. Silence. Thank you. Royal watches as Chas takes the dalmation over to Ari and Uzi and talks to them quietly for a minute.115. Chas looks to Royal and takes a deep breath. He brushes his hand against the white feathers on the falcon’s neck. CONTINUED: (3) ROYAL I’m sorry I let you down. Etheline looks to Royal. Richie and Margot sit near the edge of the roof. DAY. ROOF. Chassie. Chas.
DAY. NARRATOR (V. Chas hands Royal a bottle of scotch. but the wrapper has faded. Ari. She points at the chimney. Margot puts her arm around Richie’s shoulder. ROYAL All right. with a jawbreaker in his mouth: ARI Dear Heavenly Father -INT. The dalmation sits on the ground next to them. He takes it. Henry and Etheline stand side by side in front of a judge in a small office with green carpet and an exercise bicycle. MARGOT (CONT’D) This was one of my first hiding places.O. (CONTINUED) . She takes her inhaler out of her mouth and puts it in her pocket. She reaches behind it and takes out a pack of cigarettes and a matchbook.116. She takes a puff. HENRY So help me God. She turns and looks at the top of the chimney. and Royal takes a drink. Uzi and Chas watch Royal throw dirt on to a grave in the backyard. Richie nods. She pulls out a loose brick. They have tears in their eyes. GARDEN. takes out a cigarette. EXT. Say a prayer -- Ari begins.) Royal dug a hole for Buckley behind the garden shed. and she lights it. boys. She looks to Richie. Margot offers him a cigarette. and they smoke their stale cigarettes together. DAY. CONTINUED: Richie nods. RICHIE How old you think those are? Margot opens the pack. Richie studies the pack of cigarettes. Margot looks at him for a minute. puts it in her mouth. It is still sealed. and lights it. Henry has his left hand raised and his right hand on a bible. OFFICE. and buried him in a canvas duffle bag. MARGOT I’d say about ten years.
O. in judge’s chambers. INT. DAY. A father introduces his daughter to a group of native tribesmen. NARRATOR (V. NARRATOR (V. my Lord. He laughs quietly and shakes his head. FATHER This is my adopted daughter.) Etheline and Henry were married fortyeight hours later. NIGHT. under the marquee. AUDITORIUM. Raleigh and Dudley sit onstage at a table in front of an audience of doctors and medical students.117. CUT TO: Margot standing alone outside the theatre. Raleigh takes a question. INSERT: (CONTINUED) .O. MEDICAL STUDENT Can he tell time? RALEIGH Oh. smoking a cigarette. The Levinsons in the Trees.) Margot’s new play.O.) Raleigh and Dudley went on a lecture tour to eleven universities in the promotion of their new book. on it. Royal sits in the front row with the other Tenenbaums. Elaine Levinson. CONTINUED: The judge extends the Bible to Etheline. Dudley shakes his head emphatically. was produced at the Cavendish Theatre. The house is sold out. The rest of the audience is silent. NARRATOR (CONT’D) It ran for just under two weeks and received mixed reviews. A stage-set for a play that appears to take place in a network of tree houses on a tropical island. Brooks College. THEATRE. INT. no. She puts her hand NARRATOR (V.
On the dust jacket there is a yearbook photograph of Dudley with his Henry Aaron-style glasses flipped up. Uzi and a group of children dressed in tennis clothes watch as Richie demonstrates the continental style of grip to them.O. A resort compound on the high plains. NARRATOR (V. ready to serve. DAY. HOSPITAL. His expression is almost impossibly blank. He and Eli are dressed in matching deerskin jackets. A tall.to twelveyear-olds at the 375th Street Y. CONTINUED: A copy of Raleigh’s new book. INT. DAY. NARRATOR (V. Ari and Uzi ride on the back of a speeding garbage truck.118.) Eli checked himself into a rehabilitation hospital in North Dakota. He has stitches on his forehead.O. Chas. STREET. Uzi watches it race past him. 375TH STREET Y ROOFTOP. EXT. is? You know who Laver He bounces a ball and gets Uzi steps up to the service line. Native American man in his late forties walks over to Eli. Richie fires his return full-speed straight down the line. A concrete tennis court with a chain-link net. .) Richie started a programme teaching competitive tennis to eight. They are all laughing. EXT. Royal. Dudley’s World. RICHIE Rod Laver used it. skinny.O. Richie has a white gauze patch taped over his eye. Uzi hits a fast serve to Richie’s forehand. Eli practices with a lasso in front of several young addicts. Ari. Eli points to him. NARRATOR (V. ELI This is my sponsor.) Royal had a heart attack at the age of sixty-eight. DAY. Runs with Two Horses.
Richie throws a white flower into the grave. INSERT: Page 275 of The Royal Tenenbaums.THE END -- . It says “Epilogue. Pagoda wears Royal’s sunglasses. -. DAY. They step away from the grave. It reads “Royal O’Reilly Tenenbaum (1932-2001). She smokes a cigarette. and the sky is getting dark. Raleigh. CEMETERY. and was the only witness to his father’s death. Raleigh stands next to Dudley. The ambulance races full-speed up the wrong side of the street. holding his hand. Chas puts his hand on Royal’s cheek.119. Royal appears to be smiling underneath his oxygen mask. The priest is on crutches. EXT. He looks puzzled. Henry. Chas looks to Ari and Uzi standing a few yards away. Chas sits beside him. Richie.O. They are all bundled up in coats and scarves.) Chas rode with him in the ambulance. DAY. Eli stands next to Walter. Ari and Uzi fire several shots into the air with Chas’ and Royal’s old BB guns. Tears stream down his face. Henry stands next to Etheline. Royal’s gravestone sits in a wheelbarrow next to a pile of dirt.” The priest sees this and hesitates.” He Snow falls lightly. INT. looks up at Chas. She takes his arm. Dusty stands beside him. Everyone in the family is gathered around as Chas. He smiles slightly.” Epitaph: “Died tragically rescuing his family from the wreckage of a destroyed sinking battleship. Royal closes his eyes. NARRATOR (V. Royal is strapped on to a gurney with tubes sticking out of his arms and an oxygen mask on his face. They all stand in silence for a minute before they turn away and walk to their waiting car. Eli. Margot has her arm around Richie’s shoulder. he stipulated that his funeral take place at dusk. Dusty and Pagoda lower the casket. He nods. NARRATOR (CONT’D) In his will. AMBULANCE.