Social Superstar

First Published in Paperback 2008 By Sumi Books
Text Copyright: Anthony Almeida 2008 The moral right of the author has been asserted. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior permission in writing of the publisher, except by a reviewer who wishes to quote brief passages in connection with a review written for insertion in a newspaper, magazine, or broadcast. A catalogue record is for this book is available from the US Library Design and Typeset by Jeffrey Posner Printed and bound by Lulu Cover picture used with permission from the author. ISBN: Every reasonable effort has been made to acknowledge the ownership of copyright material included in this book. Any errors that have inadvertently occurred will be corrected in subsequent editions provided notification is sent to the publisher. Walden Books NY8, NY

1

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

SOCIAL SUPERSTAR: Best of TSB Magazine Vol. 1 Table of Contents
Introduction Part 1: The Confidential Social Intelligence Manuscript Part 2: The Best of TSB Magazine Section One: The Dating Articles 5 Keys to Playing the Role of Being Wanted 10 Lessons for Successfully Hooking Up Emulate a Celebrity for Instant Rapport Using an Opinion Opener to Initiate Conversation Being Comfortable Talking Dirty 10 Ways a Girl Can Keep a Guy Like Me Keeping Cool and Plowing On How to Talk to Younger Women Going Caveman on Women Never Show Emotion When She Walks Away 5 Tips for Lasting Longer in Bed How to Get Better in Bed Having Trouble Getting Hard Wimps into Winners Ultimate MySpace Jealousy Tool Aim Lower PUA Openers, Openers, Openers How to Calm Your Sexual Neediness Are You the Man or Just the Fan? 107 109 113 115 118 120 123 125 127 129 131 133 135 140 145 146 147 150 151 9 106

Section Two: The Inner Game Articles The Hero, the Bounty, and the Purpose Driven Life
2

155

Social Superstar

Integrity Makes a Man The Great Gatsby Complex Build it, and They Will Come Why You Shouldn’t String Girls Along The Anatomy of the Sickness Living with Passion 7 Secrets for Getting Out of a Slump Can You Control Your Emotions Like Arod Going Down in Flames Bust Through Your Comfort Zone

159 162 166 169 171 175 177 180 182 185

Section Three: Alpha Living Articles 10 Ways to Immediately Make Yourself More Attractive 3 Tips for Abs of Steel A Manly Guide to Choosing Your Drink 7 Steps to Naturally Boost Your Testosterone How to Naturally Increase Energy How to Redo Your Wardrobe Winning the Day 1 College Roommate Wars 187 191 194 197 199 203 213

Section Four: The Stories The Buenos Aires Hooker Juice Incident Fortaleza Nights (Part 1) Fortaleza Nights (Part 2) Ten Years After I Took Her Virginity My First Piece of MySpace Pussy The Return of a Pickup Artist (Part 2) 216 222 226 229 233 240
3

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Snowballed Hotel Room High The Early Days: Experimenting With Speed Seduction The Falling in Love Pattern Don’t Buy the Cheap Sex Toys The Drunken Night in Medellin Story

247 249 253 257 260 264

Section Five: 31 Days to Better Game Day 1: Designing Your Life Day 2: Developing Inner Game Day 3: Updating Your Look Day 4: Always be Advertising Day 5: Being High Status Day 6: How to be a Good Flirt Day 7: Approaching and Opening Women Day 8: Improving Conversation Skills Day 9: How to Build Comfort Day 10: Being Funnier… Day 11: Push Pull/Cocky Funny Day 12: Body Language 101 Day 13: Building Your Social Circle Day 14: How to Properly Tease a Woman Day 15: Creating a MySpace and Facebook Profile Day 16: Tips for Flirting Online Day 17: Phone Game Strategy Day 18: Text Game for the PUA Day 19: How to Go on First Dates Day 20: How to Get a Day Two
4

270 273 276 278 280 285 290 292 296 302 304 313 317 318 324 334 338 343 347 350

Social Superstar

Day 21: Building Sexual Tension Day 22: Preparing Your Bachelor Pad Day 23: Quick Lesson in Kino Day 24: Body Language 202 Day 25: Being the Badboy Day 26: Friend into Lover (part 1) Day 27: Friend into Lover (part 2) Day 28: Managing a Relationship Day 29: Tips for Getting Better in Bed Day 30: Ending a Fling or Relationship Day 31: Perform a SWOT Analysis on Yourself Index

354 356 361 363 368 371 374 377 380 382 385 387

5

The Best of TSBMAG.COM Dedicated to Morgan Chase II

Introduction
This book is five years in the making! Who was there for the red and black days? For those that just came on board recently, the red and black days refers to the early days of TSB when it had a blood red header with a black background and white text. And Mike and I thought the site looked hot. Putting this book together brought back many memories. I had to search through over 1,500 articles to choose the very best. The evolution of the site, in a way, represents the evolution of both the life of me, and the life of Michael Stoute. We wanted to make this book a diverse look at the four years leading up to its publication. Instead of focusing solely on dating articles, stories, or self help type articles, we chose to break the book up into six parts. These six parts are a great representation of TSB Magazine, as well as Bobby Rio and Michael Stoute- the men behind the magazine. Another reason we chose to break the book up into four parts is because we think you will get more value of it that way. There are articles in here that will help you with all aspects of your life. For instance, if you bought this book for the pickup advice, you might be pleasantly surprised in six months to read some articles about fitness, fashion, or inner game, you may have missed earlier when you ‘re were concentrating solely on devouring all things pickup. The six parts of this book are as follows: Part 1: The Confidential Social Intelligence Manuscript This is our never before released manuscript for becoming a social superstar. This manuscript was first created over 10 years ago. Over the past 10 years it has been tested and refined. This contains everything you need to know to climb to the top of any social ladder. Part 2: The Best of TSB Magazine

The Essential Dating Articles
6

Social Superstar

Going through our huge library of dating, pickup, relationship and sex articles, I found it tough to choose “the best” so I decided to choose articles that give you a well rounded approach to improving your dating life. Most of these articles came out Mike’s and my own personal experience of improving our dating life. It wasn’t a quick and easy ride for either one of us… we hope that these articles will make your ride a little less bumpy.

The Inner Game Articles
These are some of the articles that mean the most to me. Through the many phases I’ve gone through as a person during the five years we were creating this magazine… these articles resonate with every period. The topics transcend dating advice, as the entire core principles can be applied to any area of your life, and I am confident you’ll see a marked improvement. This section is also the most timeless… as long after the days you are married with children… I hope that you still pick up this section of the book and reread some of these articles and find inspiration from them.

The Alpha Living Articles
Like the Inner Game articles I chose to include these Alpha Living articles because they too, are timeless. These are articles that you can read when you’re a sixty year old man, and still learn something from. Whether you’re interested in getting in shape, maximizing your energy, or just learning the art of ordering a man’s drink in the bar… you’ll find the information in this section. Alpha Living is a way of life that you’ll hopefully continue throughout your lifetime. It is about fulfilling your dreams… and doing so in style.

Stories, Tales, Lies, and Exaggerations
The fun stuff! Over the past five years, Mike Stoute and I have chronicled our stories on TSB. These are the stories that made Bobby and Mike the men they’ve become. You’ll read some inspiring stories… and other stories that display our humiliation. Some stories will educate you… other stories will entertain you… and other stories will have you asking “why the hell did I ever take advice from these guys?”

31 Days to Better Game
31 Days to Better game was an extremely popular series we ran at TSB Magazine where we presented a different lesson every day that would
7

bloggers. I think you’ll enjoy this section a lot. and gurus. 8 .COM help you improve your dating life.The Best of TSBMAG. I believe that you can get something out of following the 31 day plan. There are 31 lessons that walk you through many different areas of game. The lessons were brought to you by some of the best dating coaches. Whether you’re a novice or an experienced PUA. all giving their unique perspective on improving certain areas of game.

Social Superstar Confidential Social Intelligence Manuscript Table of Contents Introduction Chapter 1: What defines a superstar? Chapter 2: Image is everything (authority + social proof) Chapter 3: The 10 Second Impression (authority + social proof) Chapter 4: Building Your Social Resume (authority + social Proof) Chapter 5: The Attitude (liking + scarcity) Chapter 6: Be Captivating (liking + scarcity + authority) Chapter 7: Cultivate a fan base (commitment + liking + reciprocation) 9 .

At that point I was just coming out of a relationship and began studying the art of seduction. The teachings in this manuscript transformed my friends back at Montclair State University from relative nobodies.into a group of men who threw 400+ people parties. This manuscript is not going to teach how to be the world's best pick-up artist. And with those friends and fans… women will naturally follow. If you follow the guidance of this manuscript. and we applied to the realm of climbing the social ladder. which focused on the psychology of influence.you will never have the need to cold approach again. and were even featured on prime time news for our antics at the Homecoming day parade. We took the teaching of Dr. It was around 2002 and that I found the underground seduction community. Robert Ciaduini. It was at this point that I took the original manuscript and began altering it to include some more of the hidden techniques of some of the world's best pick-up artists.The Best of TSBMAG. After graduating college I took the principles originally constructed and altered them a bit for "the real world. This manuscript is about building an empire of friends and fans." I found them to be even more effective. One of my friends and I attended a private seminar held by social scientist Dr. The only reason I have not released it up until now is because many of the strategies contained in this manuscript I have personally used within some of my current social circles. This manuscript was first conceived while I was back in college. It works.COM Introduction This manuscript has been developed over the past 10 years. Everything in this manuscript has been tested and refined. Pick-up artists are usually defined by their ability to cold approach a random woman and quickly close her. Ciaduini. 10 .

Listen to the way they use humor casually. No matter how different the external image of these guys may seem. Right now. Listen to the way they talk. or Johnny Depp. People will naturally want to be around them. Tom Brady. Once you have a clear picture of them in your mind.Social Superstar Chapter 1: What Defines A Superstar? So you want to be a Social Super star? And live large? Some guys are just born with inane gift to control the energy of any room they enter. and vitality that the social superstar produces. and sense of personal style. Spend a minute to get a clear picture of them in your mind. What aspects of them are unique and unlike the many others you come in contact with who don’t possess their charisma? 11 . posture. Envision the way the carry themselves. While simply copying their characteristics will not land you roles in motion pictures. Other people want to drink in the enthusiasm. there are certain characteristic that they all share. within your specific social scene. energy. Now I want you to spend a minute writing down the different characteristics of them that jumped out at you.who come to mind? Maybe you know a few guys personally who have this characteristic? Or maybe you immediately think of a guy like George Clooney. focus on specific aspects of them. They will want to be associated with them. I would like you to take the time to think about the guys you have met in your personal life who have best exemplified the image of social superstar. You should picture their specific body language. or have you quarterbacking in the Super Bowl -it will have you commanding the power and respect these guys have. charming. First. or simply enigmatic. These characteristics are the blue print for social superstardom. Tommy Lee. hear the way their voice sounds when it comes out of their mouths. Listen to the way they construct their conversations. These guys will often be referred to as charismatic. When you think of social superstars.

Hear the way people speak about them when they were not around. And second. Write down the desire that women had toward them. Now spend a minute writing down the different ways in which people react to them. Over the course of this manuscript you will learn to use the principles of persuasion and influence to climb to the highest level of any social ladder. In fact.you can manipulate the reaction you receive by others. You can't become a superstar if you don't have fans propping you up. and why you want to become it. fundamentally it has nothing to do with them at all. and ideally onto a greater stage. Imagine the way a woman would react to one of their advances. by understanding that there is nothing unique inside of these menyou'll know that you too are capable of reaching their level. If you want to become a Social Superstar. In the following chapters I will delve much deeper into the process you must go through to elevate yourself to Social Superstar status amongst your social scene.The Best of TSBMAG. Try to capture in words. 12 . This is important for you to fully comprehend this for two main reasons. Envision the look on people’s faces when they walk into a room. you'll realize that by using the principles of persuasion and influence. the envy that other people felt towards them. you must first have a clear goal of what you are trying to become. The Reaction They Receive What you must first understand going forward is that what causes these men to rise to the level of social superstar has nothing to do with what is inside of them. I want you to envision the way other people react to them. Try to describe the energy that these social superstars instilled in others around them. It has everything to do with the way that people react to them. The reason that I have asked you to write down both the specific characteristics of these men and the specific ways in which people reacted to them. Imagine the way their entourage would follow one of their commands.COM After you have jotted down a list of the distinct characteristics I want you to dig a little deeper. is because it is my way of outlining the goal for this manuscript. First. I will repeat this phrase for emphasis: It has everything to do with the way that people react to them. Or the energy that is sucked out of the room when they depart.

Because if you’re waiting for them to dictate what you can wear. The Porsche. The 745i series. The SL500 Mercedes convertible.Social Superstar Chapter 2: Image is everything (Authority + Social Proof) Your objective: The objective of creating an image is to establish both authority and social proof. The image you present to the world should establish you an authority on your scene. their fine details. You need to dress fashionably. They don’t yell out for your attention. When you walk into a parking lot. what cars catch your attention? The Ford Taurus? The Toyota Corolla? No. In this chapter you just need to recognize that by being trendy and fashionable you are presenting yourself as having a high level of social intelligence. and say “look at me” But these are the cars you look at because of their reputation. It is how you carry yourself. Think like this. These cars have a presence and if you want to be a social superstar you need to have just as powerful of a presence. or what music 13 .you are actively involved with "cooler" social circles. You need to know what the current trends are before most everyone else. trendy. The Plan: Image is everything. People will automatically assume that since you have the social intelligence to stay fashionable. These cars are sitting right alongside of hundreds of other cars. Your image should sub consciously tell the people within your scene that you are the person to look up to for determining what is cool. But you notice these cars. or hip. Your image should also convey social proof. They don’t flag you down. The Corvette. You have to be ahead of them with the trends. and their alluring Image. You can’t wait for your peers to tell you what to like.

Choose someone who is well known and followed in the media. The examples I’m giving may be outdated by the time you read this. A solid pair of kicks is your best investment. If you’re more of the athlete type choose someone like Tom Brady or Tony Romo. You can’t. Instead of dropping $60 on a new video game… buy a pair of the trendiest sneakers you can find. Generally I recommend picking a celebrity you most resemble. You’re right. You can by a whole new wardrobe for like $50. money. Everything else can be second hand. You are probably thinking that you can’t afford the clothes they are wearing. Social Superstars know what the current trends are because they are keenly aware of what is going on. and magazines to know what the trends are. You need to be up to date with the trends. You don’t want to copy their style from a movie. blogs. When it comes to creating your image. But what you can do is mimic the clothes by purchasing similar outfits of less expensive brands. It isn’t called “being trendy” for nothing. I always suggest modeling yourself after a celebrity that you most resemble or whose style you would like to emulate. it’s out of style. Choose someone in their twenties. what you see in the gossip magazines.COM you can listen to. And once they’ve run their course and 14 .The Best of TSBMAG. But it is also important to pick someone who fits the style you are going after. If you don’t have “cool” friends then you need to be following fashionable websites. chances are by the time you’re wearing it. and energy toward you image. This is the basis of who you are in the public eye. But the sneakers must be the real deal. Spend $100 if you have to. You can also start putting more of your focus. You want to copy their style from their day to day life. Celebrities pay fashion consultants thousands of dollars to keep them trendy… there is no reason not to take advantage of the lessons they teach with every outfit they wear. or they have friends that are keenly aware telling them what is going on. If you’re going for a preppy look choose someone like Matt Damon. If you’re the artsy music type choose someone from a popular band. If you’re going after the “bad ass” look you would want to choose someone like Colin Farrell. Another option that I’ve done is go to thrift shops or Salvation Army stores with clip outs of outfits you want to put together.

* How do your eyes follow the crowd? As if you’re disinterested (meaning. It is the total package.esteem and confidence. and what to say when you speak. Your posture should make you appear to be confident and at ease with your surroundings.from The 7 Elements of Charisma. People around you WILL notice this and subconsciously decide that you ARE a person of prestige. body language. * Pay attention to how you walk.Social Superstar gone out of style. knowing when not to speak. A good pair of sneakers or shoes is the cornerstone of a good wardrobe. your goal is to give off the impression that you’re a prestigious person accustomed to ranking high in social circles . you’re never “star-struck” because you are the star. * Flaunt a sincere. and stand. work on maintaining a healthy tan. automatically paints you as a person of high self. you’re not paying too much attention to any one person) . * If you’re white. and knowing how to carry yourself throughout.not even the blonde-bombshell walking by can shake this poise. A sincere. In the next chapter. sit. In a world where most people lack a high level of self-respect. knowing when to speak. But for remainder of this chapter I want to give you some more hints on how to make your image more appealing. Buy a new pair. friendly smile at strategic intervals (but don’t overdo it . Meaning. tonality. And if you don’t have a high 15 . Even if you’re not at ease. * What is your mind set? You are in a situation that requires a strong focus on tact and diplomacy. You may cast a glance. and posture to build immediate social proof. No sunshine? Find a nearby tanning salon.and that’s because you feel that there is nobody worthy of your attention. pay attention to your posture so that it seems as though you are. It breaks the ice. I am going to go into great detail about how to use things like physiology.learn to read when it is called for. it is easy to stand out when you have it and it shows. But image is more than just wearing trendy clothes. In other words. and when it’s not). In the end. but you’re too prestigious to stare. tears down people’s walls. The Elements of Image and Charisma Here are some other tips to enhance your presence and image . friendly smile is a strong weapon. The 10 Second Impression.

then fake it. but when packaged together they merge for great effect. This is what he or she expects. For the rest of us. By themselves. presence is but one. And because they expect it. you’ll be prejudged as probably being gay.the trick to faking it is to fake it with sincerity (this will be repeated further along). you’re using this instinct to your advantage (which most people can’t control because they’re unaware that it is something happening in their subconscious). Here’s an analogy: If you look like a thug.” When creating a charismatic image. it’s that much easier to create the effect that you’re after.something that we practice in our daily encounters with others until it is developed over time. it is an acquired art . * Before speaking to a person. Maybe for a very rare and select few. And if you look like a charismatic person used to respect and even admiration. you’ll be prejudged as probably being a thug. Take note . It is a very influential tool when you want something. like most). You need to always be conscious of how you appear to other people. now it’s that much easier to give it to them. Notice that we used the word “probably” in the above paragraph? We use the word “probably” to represent the other person’s expectations. You need to give off the impression that you are an important person and are considered an important person by others. someone who listens more than he speaks? Or will I seem as though I talk too much and therefore am not a good conversationalist? 16 . these simple details regarding a positive. prestigious selfimage don’t accomplish much. Once you’ve been prejudged. Charisma opens many doors and will get you into many places otherwise far off limits.The Best of TSBMAG. you will be prejudged as a person who is probably charismatic and worthy of respect and even admiration. If you look like your gay. Many elements make up Image.COM level of self-respect (again. And now you’ve created “presence. you ask yourself: How is this person going to interpret my next few words? What kind of effect are they going to have? What effect is it that I’m going for? Will I sound like I know what I’m talking about? Or will I sound like a fool? Will I sound confident? Or will I sound cocky? Will I sound sincere. In the chapter on attitude I will give you tips to help the right attitude to come naturally to you. or will I sound fake? Will I come across as a good conversationalist. Most people don’t understand the charismatic persona and can only assume that it comes naturally to some people.

. If you don’t have any clue what makes a good conversationalist read through some of the articles on http://www.Social Superstar The above advice is sound. Below are some tricks you need to convey: * Never seem to be in a hurry . * Your actions must seem natural and executed with ease . * Always seem patient. Cloak your focus on the elements (which will more than likely seem intense when you first start practicing the art) by being confident on the outside and relaxed on the inside. but you don’t want to fall into the trap of constantly being inside your head worried about what you are going to say.hurrying betrays a lack of control over yourself. means ‘So slight as to be difficult to detect or analyze. * Practice being subtle (”subtle.so when you act. You just want to think for a brief second if what you are saying conveys confidence and coolness. as if you could do much more. elusive. or if it makes you sound like a showboat.tsbmag. and over time.. 17 . a coward. Never let them see you sweat.com about building conversation skills. or hurts your image in any other way. This means even when you are not actively engaged in a conversation you need to present you best image. as if you know that everything will come to you eventually. you are being watched at all times.” as used here.’). You need to be a good conversationalist. Remember. These articles should provide a nice foundation for becoming a better conversationalist. What you say doesn’t have to be perfect. act effortlessly.

A man walks by. It should convey that you are comfortable as the leader. and squished. but those around you appear to respect you and look up to you. a stylish haircut. You are observing everything that is going on around you. Your non-verbal communication should sub consciously tell the people within your scene that you are used to being treated well. The combination of these three attributes you will provide you with the requisite social proof you need. In less than a minute your entire perception of him has changed. slouched down. but so has every girl's who was 18 . While the bartender is serving a girl on the other end of the bar.COM Chapter 3: The 10 Second Impression (authority + social proof) Your Objective: The objective of manipulating your non-verbal communication is to establish both authority and social proof. Your 3 second judgment so far is positive. nervously rubbing his chin. he is of above average looks. Not only has your perception of him changed. There is a person to his right and left. and neither of them has squeezed over an inch to let him in. He keeps timidly putting a finger up to get the bartender's attention. Your Plan: Imagine that you're sitting at a table in a crowded bar.The Best of TSBMAG. The non-verbal communication you present to the world should establish you an authority on your scene. the guy just stands there. You are not only completely comfortable within your scene. The man walks up to the bar. As you sip your beer you are making 10 second judgments on everyone that passes your table. wearing a nice button down shirts. The bartender is busy and the man is forced to wait there for his drink a moment. trendy jeans. and an expensive watch. And it should present you as a man with high social intelligence. avoiding eye contact with the other patrons.

Social Superstar eying him down as he walked by. and has a body most guys would kill for… but he just looks uncomfortable and out of place. These are the non verbal cues that people look for when making a snapshot judgment on someone else. grooming. "The Irresistible Offer" is the title of a book by Mark Joyner. He's a good looking guy. You need to create the irresistible offer. He claims that in today's marketplace. your social intelligence. Everything we've gone over in the preceding chapters regarding creating the look of a superstar is important. You need to not only present them with the features. and your sex life. in which he talks about how the best marketers create a short pitch that is so powerful that it is almost impossible not to buy. and physical appearance. and which of the students were bound to be eating their lunch alone in the cafeteria. the proof. in your best outfit. tan. and the amount of eye contact that they make with other students. in a nice outfit. So has the perception of every guy who was subconsciously sizing himself up against the guy for dominance on the social hierarchy. their walks. But you must be aware that there is more at play then how you are dressed up. But that is not enough to be a superstar. That guy… standing alone waiting for his drink. Yes. you must present your physical attributes in the best possible light. You wouldn't have to speak to a single one of them. It is all prominently on display by the way they carry themselves. you have extremely limited time to catch the public's attention. Yes. There is a saying I love "Walk the talk. but you also must take away any last hint of doubt. There are certain telling cues that allow people to make instant decisions about your level of self esteem. We've already discussed fashion. within minutes you would be able to tell which of the students were of the popular crowd. Although all of the physical signs should be pointing to "cool" it is apparent that he is anything but. 19 . We've talked about how it is important that you always present your best self. If you walked into any high school in America. you must dress fashionable and cool. the benefits." The Irresistible Offer This means that you need to be completely congruent in all areas of your identity.

In the first few minutes of the speech Brad gave some details about the various 10 minute lays that he has had in his lifetime. One by one members of the audience raised their hands to give their input. After his powerful stories of success. personal trainers." A third student says "It's got to be that you know how to talk to a girl in a way that will get them horny enough to fuck you. and have you done up by the best fashion consultant. that isn't why.COM The best way to remove any last hint of doubt is to "Walk the talk" and carry yourself like a superstar. They can bring you onto MTV's Made. and has a cult following of men who aspire to be like him. I don't want you to mistakenly interpret this to mean that you must be perfect. In the following sections we are going to go into detail in the different areas that make up your non verbal cues. I was at a seminar listening to the legendary Brad P speaking about how to get a 10 minute lay." 20 .The Best of TSBMAG. eye contact. "Because you are extremely confident" And Brad says "Yes. Everything about you needs to be congruent. I am extremely confident. Brad is a well known social artist. he asked the audience why they believed he is able to continually have women willing to sleep with him after knowing him for less than a half hour. but there are a lot of extremely confident guys who don't pull girls into random bathrooms for spontaneous sex" A second student says "Because of the way you dress. says "It's true I dress in a sexy way… and if a woman was going to fuck a guy in ten minutes he'd probably look like me… but no. The first student says. posture. you will be identified as a fraud immediately. If you are going to create yourself to be "the irresistible offer" you need to hit them from every one of these angles. and makeup artists in the world… but if you're body's non verbal cues remain the same." Brad. As we will discuss later in "Never appear too perfect" you must show some vulnerability and flaws… the flaws just can't come involve any of these cues. and must stand up to the test of scrutiny. These areas in include: body language. and how well you follow the general rules of intrapersonal communication. The way you carry yourself is the one thing that cannot be faked. who dresses like a rockstar.

Sean Connery is highly regarded as the actor that best portrayed the character James Bond. the example we used of the man waiting for his drink. He is so comfortable in the role… that you believe he is James Bond. and I make it impossible for them to not want to fuck me in ten minutes…" Brad presents the women he meets with "the irresistible offer." The students shout out several more answers. Finally Brad points to the seven answers on the screen. brought to our minds all of our own insecurities. "Everything" Brad says. If you want to create a hypnotic presence as a superstar… you need to be so comfortable in the role that your audience accepts your role without reservations. How do you give your appearance that same hypnotic appeal as sex? In the previous section. "I get ten minute lays because I am all seven of these answers. While it can be argued that all of the actors nailed the part… it is obvious upon watching a few scenes of Connery as Bond to notice just how comfortable he appears in the role.Social Superstar And Brad says. and fears. Be relaxed 21 . I have sexy body language. but we would be doing so in the same way we that we just can't turn away from a car wreck. So what is the secret to hypnotic body language? It is easier than you think. made us feel uncomfortable. They key to creating hypnotic body language is comfort. standing awkwardly alone. 4 Ways to Make Your Body Language More Hypnotic 1. anxieties. His body language makes you forget that you're watching an actor PLAY James Bond." How to Create Comfortable Body Language Sex is hypnotic. The man. We may keep our gaze on the man. Meanwhile Brad has been writing each answer down on the teleprompter in front of him. None of these feelings are sexy. I talk good game. I am dressed like a rock star. "Oh… I get them so horny they can hardly contain themselves when I talk to them… but a lot of guys can talk a good game. That's why it's used so blatantly in advertisements. I am confident.

Once you slow your breathing down. 22 . slowly those around you will tend find themselves falling into a relaxed state. and stop the nervous. If your mind is nervous… it will be harder to control your physiology. When we are nervous we tend to tense up our jaw muscle. so that you can put an end to them. How you stand 2. Slow down We are going to show you how to demonstrate these four qualities to further illustrate how to create a compelling presence. your heart rate naturally follows. Be confident 4. This is especially true of your facial muscles. The more relaxed you appear to be. you can use it to your advantage pretty regularly.The Best of TSBMAG. The interesting thing about physiology is that once you learn how to manipulate it. How you sit Here is an explanation of each. We also tend get really tense in the shoulders. There are three main body positions in most social situations which you can use to convey comfort: 1. If you want to achieve relaxing body language you first must relax all of your muscles. Subconsciously people tend to mirror the people they are surrounded by. If you are nervous and tense when you go out… naturally the physiology you present will be that of a nervous and tense person. causing an almost crawled up appearance. tense gestures… your brain will assume a position of relaxation.COM 2. In order to make physiology work in your favor it is necessary to recognize your nervous habits. Be Relaxed The easiest way to make people comfortable around you is to be relaxed around them. But if you learn to control your physiology. What you are basically trying to do is put yourself in a sort of hypnotic state of relaxation. How you walk/move 3. Along with relaxing your muscles you need to relax your mind. The easiest and most productive way to relax your mind is through slow controlled breathing. Be powerful 3.

touching. This behavior communicates that you’re nervous and that you feel awkward. At first it may be a constant battle with yourself. Doing any of these things immediately screams that you are not comfortable in your present situation. other people with run their hand through their hair. or fiddling. you are emotionally reacting to them. Instead. Their insecurity eats away at them and they feel forced to constantly be moving their hands. but after enough training you will naturally no longer perform these nervous ticks. The minute that you recognize yourself using your hands to display nervousness… immediately stop and place your hands by your side in a relaxed manner. but that they are higher value and thus. Eliminate them. Looking relaxed when walking One of the most common ways a man displays nervousness while walking is to keep his hands in his pockets as he walks. At the beginning you’ll have to force this. When people feel insecure or nervous they start to have trouble sitting still. you’ll start to automatically relax more in social situations. or playing with your drink all tell the set and everyone around you that you are not only nervous around them. but after some practice. Force yourself to relax and let your arms just fall. moving around too much. The beautiful thing as I mentioned earlier is that the discontinuation of performing these nervous ticks will trigger in your brain that you are no longer nervous… and your brain will command you to act in the way you naturally do when you are comfortable. It is important to remember to keep control of your hands. The emotion of nervousness often manifests itself through these nervous behaviors. You don’t know what to do with your hands so you shove them in your pockets. others will juggle the loose change in their pocket. Fight the urge to start rubbing. You’ll notice a marked improvement in your interactions.Social Superstar Below are some of the nervous habits that you will need to avoid… and ultimately replace with more positive empowering habits. playing with your hands or fingers. let them hang naturally by your sides. Get in the habit of catching yourself whenever you find that you are performing any of the above habits. Looking relaxed while standing Nervous ticks such as swaying from side to side. Some people will rub their chin or neck. 23 .

Don’t overdo ‘taking up space’ lest you come off as tryhard. One of which is power.” This is when people hold their drink in front of their chest in a social environment. you will naturally come to feel more powerful. Once seated. and if you keep one foot on your knee while talking you might have a tendency to shake the free foot.COM Another thing to be conscious of when you're standing in a bar or club is the “drink shield.The Best of TSBMAG. There is nothing good that your fingers can do above your neck. creating a silly looking distraction. Feet belong on the floor. The subcommunication behind this body language tick is that you’re nervous and uneasy. Don't squeeze your hands. A superstar knows how to balance the two. This helps you maintain control and good body posture. simply let them lay together on your lap. which is face up. keep your hands away from your face and hair. The reason that you want to display power and dominance is because these qualities communicate value. hold your drink down by your hip and don’t cross your arms or take a protective stance. the objective is to take up space while appearing relaxed and comfortable. security. As we spoke about above in relation to "being relaxed" you will find that the more powerful a physiology you present. alone. In this case it’s the drink. You are trying to convey abundance. Instead. Being Powerful While having a relaxed appearance will surely make others around you feel more comfortable. While you are seated it is best to keep both feet on the floor. and relaxation with your body language. 24 . So your instinctive reaction is to cover your midsection (traditionally the most vulnerable spot on most mammals) with some sort of protection. If you are constantly crossing and un-crossing your feet and legs you'll appear uncomfortable. You will need to incorporate several other characteristics into your body language. It is best to keep your hands apart. A low value person can be relaxed… but very few low value people will be both relaxed and powerful. but if you find that you are fidgeting too much then cup your right hand face down in your left hand. Looking relaxed while sitting When you sit. it is not enough to create that hypnotic captivating presence.

Many times guys do this because they believe that the other person cannot hear them. 25 .. People that feel a lack of power tend to offer nothing to the world. It is important to learn some of the ways that people give their power away as to avoid them. one of three things happens typically: I. You both move halfway out of the way. The Gunslinger Walk is based off of an article originally published by Sebastian Drake. and make a conscious effort to recondition yourself to avoid the negative habit in the future. Throughout society." The "cape walk" is technique in which you imagine you have a Superman cape hanging down your back. You move for the other person. Looking powerful when walking One of the most efficient ways to walk in a more powerful way is to implement the Gunslinger Walk. Another way to give your power away is to lean in when talking to someone. Here is the article in its entirety.. The minute you lean in you have just handed them the power in the conversation. as I think this article is best representation of keeping your power as you walk. II. as they appear to have nothing to offer.these impressions present that of a less than powerful person. people often get into a situation where two people are walking directly at each other. Whenever this happens to you. It displays a lack of enthusiasm and energy towards life. You then go on to walk as if this long cape is flowing down your back. III.Social Superstar I learned this technique years ago while listening to an Anthony Robbins CD in which he describes "the cape walk. The other person moves for you. These are not the kind of people other people want to interact with. After experimenting with the "cape walk" for several weeks I began to naturally feel more powerful as I walked. It can also give off the impression that you’re uncomfortable with the way you look and are trying to hide your face. If you think that you're having trouble being heard then maybe you should work on your tonality and voice projection. This displays the image that you’re too bored or tired to bother holding up your head. Avoid holding your face up with your hand. One of the hallmark traits of this behavior is head straight.

The most common and obvious example are beautiful women. Thrown back shoulders: The essence of good body language. Roll in the heels: An exaggerated roll of the heels at the end of each step. Roll in the hips: An exaggerated push from the hips with each lift of the leg.and that’s it. Slow movement: Moving extremely slowly through crowds. 26 . The key elements of a Gunslinger’s Walk are: Horizonview: Staring beyond the crowd and expecting it to part.The Best of TSBMAG. It’s mirrored off people who brim with the utmost confidence. or young children . or the black-hat bandit. The man might have status from a style of dress. Henceforth. awe. With a solid presence. you NEVER move for another person based on status alone. This does not bode well for meeting her later.especially a beautiful woman you’re signifying that you see her as better than you. You’ll move if you meet someone handicapped. self-assured smile finishes the look. When you move out of someone’s way . elderly. large muscles. Gunslinging isn’t necessary. and they will move the other half step. and inspiration into the hearts of those around them. you will feel people who believe themselves lower social status than you moving out of your way as you move through the world without you even doing anything.COM People move for people that they see as higher status than them subconsciously. Knowing smile: The disarming. The Gunslinger’s Walk is a highly exaggerated style of walk based on highly successful men and the caricature and archetype of an 1800’s gunslinger . With people who are also high status. Simply observing one of these people can strike wonder. and then high status men. but it can be a hell of a lot of fun. or just the way he carries himself. Men who moved with raw electrifying presence.either the white-hat sheriff. you will move a half-step out of the way.

Picture the cowboy . it’s hard to get people to move for you. rolling them through so you rock ever so-slightly back and forth each time you move.it gives you a 27 . or falsely humble. This will add to your stature once again. you transcend the negotiation and the struggle. It’s crucial to keep your view to the horizon if you’re rolling your hips: You look like you’re a larger than life figure that way. you see the most beautiful women and high status men not looking at people directly in front of them. and people are more likely to move out of the way of you as you pass.Social Superstar The Horizon view The legendary cowboys did not look at a crowd as they moved through it: Their eyes were always looking past.he never made himself small. He moved with purpose. By taking a long past view at the horizon. Roll in the Hips and Heels When your foot lands. staring off into the horizon and the adventures that lay beyond. land first with your heel. To take this to its logical extreme. you can mentally imagine a “ka-ching” sound like a cowboy’s spurs every time your foot touches the ground. Remember to keep your shoulders back and broad at all times. as opposed to just trying to court attention. So move slower than people around you . Thrown back Shoulders Rise up to your full stature. and with his full stature. if someone is stopped. or meek. and draw a bit more attention to yourself. Slow Movement When gunslingin’. everyone is forced to go around them. When you hurry through the world. but instead staring past them into the distance as they think about what goals they want to achieve. it becomes a negotiation. To aid you. it’s crucial to move at a slow pace. pushing off the ball. and “roll through” into the front of your foot. Every time two people walk directly towards one another in a straight line. Ka-ching… ka-ching… ka-ching… Throw your hips into your walk. In modern times. The lower value person moves from the way of the higher person. with your chest out and your stomach in.

You don’t look at people in front of you that are oncoming. rolling your heels and hips. raise your right arm from your side upwards. knowing. They assume that someone or something important is coming through. The key is to lift up the opposite hand of the way you want the person to go. The effect becomes more pronounced the more people who do it: So. if you choose to try it. with a view on the horizon. you look at one point off into the distance where you’re walking. Directing Traffic One last tip that’ll help with gunslinging.then two. you start gunslinging. one person moves . A slight smile goes a long way with gunslinging to keep curiosity mixed in and soften you up slightly. moving slowly. and quite an entrance. so get the fundamentals down first. Jackpot.don’t try to “look hard”. It’s a slight. self-assured and self-confident smile. there’s a great chance the crowd will break and you can then “part the seas” as you move through it. How to Part a Crowd Here’s the secret behind my legendary gunslinging performances: Once two people simultaneously break out of your way at the front of a crowd. with a slight knowing smile. if you want someone to pass you on your left. This one’s a bit more advanced and complicated. and tend to break sideways. This “directs 28 . with just a dash of cockiness mixed in.The Best of TSBMAG. people’s natural instincts are to follow the people in front of them. Your palm should be facing left. remember to smile . with your palm facing towards they way you want them to go. which creates quite a stir. and means people scurrying will tend to defer to you. The Knowing Smile When gunslinging. great body language. makes you look powerful. Then. quite an impression.COM presence. So. You can “direct traffic” by which hand you hold up as people are walking towards you.

Useful tactics to convey this include draping your arms over the backs of chairs or over the seatbacks of booths or couches. Your upper body should ideally be leaning back without hunching over. shoulders pulled back. was a clear example of standing in a less than powerful way. or get high on the power… Looking powerful when standing If you want to have a powerful presence while standing than the first rule is to take up space. Feet and legs can be spread moderately or crossed ankle-to-knee. Don’t go overboard with it. Picture the way a U. When you’re standing. never look down. it’s a sign of weakness and also looks unattractive. standing up straight. look up.S. Your weight should generally be towards the rear of your soles (closer to the heel) so that you always appear to be leaning back. so have fun and use it wisely. Your stance should project confidence. and chest somewhat out. Looking down even has been proven to have a bad effect on your mental state. squished between two other customers as he waited for his drink. you want to stand with your feet shoulder-width apart or slightly wider. It should not be an uncomfortable stance. Sliding forward slightly in your seat will allow you to lean back even in a vertically-backed chair. The main communication here is that you are comfortable and confident. If you need to look away. but one which clearly does not lend itself to laziness. especially in nightclubs. 29 .Social Superstar traffic”. Do not cross your arms over your chest for this reason. The Gunslinger’s Walk is a potential nuclear reactor in your social toolbox. Keep your head up. In the example we used earlier about the guy in the bar. You can observe this in others. In that example the man clearly gave up his power to the other two customers who forced him to stand there uncomfortably. Once you get it though. Do not put your hands in your pockets or cross them over your chest. Looking powerful while sitting What you want to communicate is that you do not make any apologies for your existence and that you are used to always being comfortable. Marine would stand when at ease. though it’s tricky to get. it’s invaluable. Your hands should drape at your sides the way they naturally fall.

this works.” Practice this in the mirror if you suspect they are moving unnaturally. Seriously. Your feet. Your hands should swing naturally at your sides while you walk but without looking either stiff or “floppy. because it’s different and new. you look better standing straight. you will naturally be projection power and confidence as you walk. even if they aren’t selfaware enough to know why. Except that you are standing like you are confident. Don’t believe me? Try it. It’s going to feel weird for awhile. Women find you more attractive. an exit. exerting about the same amount of pressure (no smooshing). Walk at about 50% of your normal speed when in the venue.COM Being Confident As I mentioned earlier…there’s a bonus beyond the initial differences that changing your body language communicates to the outside world. etc). When you walk or move. Keep going. butt.The Best of TSBMAG. Looking confident while walking If you read and follow the Gunslinger Walk as discussed above. Co-workers and those around you often might comment that you seem…different. In fact. you also change the way you think. and head should all touch the wall. Now walk away from the wall. and a clean one. like someone stuck a pole up your ass. though. it’ll start to feel good. Pick a wall and stand up straight against it. Either way. Cause and affect get blurred. You’ll find yourself with this new confidence that wasn’t there before and doesn’t seem to have much of an explanation. shoulders. Just what we were going for. and you project confidence to all comers. When you are moving towards something (a set. The outer world touches our inner one. and eventually it won’t feel weird. take the shortest route 30 . but hold the pose for 5 minutes. and you wind up feeling a certain way just because you are acting that way. The Japanese have long held the belief that a cluttered home leads to a cluttered mind. How do you feel? Right. the bathrooms. a clear one. the object is to convey dominance and purpose. and when you change the way you move. It also can change your inner one.

Try learning how to turn your head slowly. optimistic. walk straight up with confidence. This will radiate from you. Looking confident while sitting The best way to appear confident while sitting is to follow the advice for both looking relaxed and powerful. alert. Have you ever noticed that James Bond never looks like he doesn’t know how to act? And that he never fidgets or behaves nervously? Everything James does is a little slower than it should be. lack of confidence. This makes a huge impact on how others perceive you. 31 . but for right now it is important to know that standing erect (not "stuck up") gives the impression that the person is confident. Once you have a foundation for the laws of interaction. Instead of circling a set several times like a vulture. self-assured. In an upcoming chapter on interpersonal communication rules I will go over the correct ways to interact with others. slouching. how to blink slowly. you give the impression of having low self esteem. or if your head hangs down. We will go into more detail regarding posture in the following chapter. when moving through the crowd. or shuffling your feet. simply following the rules for looking relaxed and powerful will make you appear more confident as you stand there. Oftentimes women notice you and the way you move or interact with people and they make judgments about you before you’ve even noticed them. A relaxed and powerful person tends to appear very confident. you will naturally become more confident in your interactions. Similarly. Looking confident while standing If you are slumped over. He’s just too cool. Slowing down and taking deliberate actions Watch a few James Bond films.Social Superstar possible—usually a straight line. Once again. and healthy. how to change facial expressions slowly… and how to gesture slowly. and even appearing depressed. you want to project dominance.

Also walk with direction. chest puffed out a bit. don’t dart around and jolt your head around like you have been drinking espressos all day long. In the beginning you will need to constantly be checking yourself. Habit 8: Walk with confidence and power. If you don’t have a naturally attractive smile than you should practice in front of a mirror. Habit 3: Keep your muscles relaxed. it hurts”. and take big slow steps. The idea is to take up some space. Your new body language habits to implement immediately Habit 1: Make it a practice to hold eye contact with everyone that you meet. If someone else is talking to you.The Best of TSBMAG. If you’re talking to a group of people switch eye contact up between the different members of the group… but always be holding it with someone. A smile displays a positive energy that is infectious. but don’t be afraid to get comfortable. This means your head should be high. Habit 4: Smile often. Look around slowly and smoothly. Habit 5: Push your chest out a bit and pull your shoulders back. Spread yourself out a bit. While doing the talking you should be holding eye contact for the majority of the time. You need to keep your face free of this stress. hold eye contact about 50% of the time. This is especially true of your facial muscles. This is especially true when walking through a bar… you never want to give off the vibe that you’re looking for the cool place to 32 . Habit 2: Get in the habit of walking around with your head up and your neck straight. Try never to appear to be in a hurry or flustered. Create a little game with yourself to remind yourself to pay attention to your posture. Don’t slouch and look sloppy. Habit 7: Take up space when you sit. shoulders back. Tell your friends to point this out to you. When we tend to get nervous we tense up in the jaw. Habit 6: You should keep your feet about as far apart as your shoulders. This is another habit you will have to check often to avoid falling back into the old habit of slouching. neck up.COM This kind of body language transmits the message: “I’m so comfortable in my own skin.

gestures. do it slowly like it doesn’t embarrass you that she noticed. elegance. Think Jim Morrison. You want to give off the vibe that you know where it is and already are heading there. grace. Think Billy Idol. They had their audiences hypnotized by their movements. The trick to pulling all these habits together is to use slow calculated gestures. It's like he is embodying the hypnotic characteristics that make romance novels so popular. Think Lenny Kravitz. If you’re grabbing a drink off the bar take it at a speed that says “I’m in no hurry. If you’re giving a girl a once over. Habit 9: Avoid making sudden hyper gestures.” Try learning how to turn your head slowly. Every gesture you make should flow naturally at the same speed as your previous gestures. It takes a constant and conscious effort to achieve rockstar posture. Rock Star Posture A signature of any rockstar is their posture. It is also the grace in which they move across the stage. When talking to someone avoid clutching on to your beer or putting your hands in your pocket. you can have the same hypnotizing poise as Jim Morrison. Habit 10: Use hand gestures when telling a story. If you want to see an example of a man going through this transformation. and are routinely making the necessary adjustments." In the movie Michael Caine's character teaches Steve Martin's character how to be a European style gentleman. David DeAngelo commonly recommends his students to watch "Dirty Rotten Scoundrels. These guys knew how to command a stage with their bodies. How to improve your posture 33 . Tommy Lee.Social Superstar be. and poise. Most of us have downright horrible posture… let alone rockstar posture. He is promising chivalry. A man becomes more attractive when he exhibits grace and poise. The good news is that if you make yourself constantly aware of how your body appears. and gentleness. how to blink slowly. how to change facial expressions slowly… and how to gesture slowly.

shoulders. These guys are trained by professionals to be the embodiment of a movie star. and pulling your head back in to your chest. Stretching and exercise to improve posture 34 . Now follow the above steps: 1. If you're serious about working on your posture you better get comfortable standing in front of a mirror. These points make a straight line. Stretch the top of your head toward the ceiling. You might feel like you are leaning forward. and hips. you might not have the money to hire their trainer… but that doesn't mean you can't emulate their posture and poise. Make sure your earlobes are in line with the middle of your shoulders. If it does. your knees straight and your back straight. but you don't. If you've got a mirror nearby go to it right now and align your ears. It shouldn't hurt at all if you try this. 2. Sure. If you're unaware of what good posture looks like rent some James Bond movies. these are the curves found from the base of your head to your shoulders and the curve from the upper back to the base of the spine. make sure that your weight is evenly distributed on your feet. and look stupid. Most people think that to "stand up straight" means tensing your back to heave your chest 'in and up'. Tom Cruise. walk.COM Most people don't even know what good posture is. The spine has two natural curves that you need to maintain called the 'double C' or 'S' curves. 3. 6. Do not tilt your head forward. 5. or Brad Pitt. Keep your shoulders back. 4. Good posture involves training the body to stand. Tuck your stomach in. sit and lie in positions where the least strain is placed on supporting muscles and ligaments. Do not tilt your pelvis forward. The arches in your feet should be supported. You'll need to constantly be watching yourself. you're probably forcing your back into an unnatural position. Hold your head up straight with your chin in. When you tell someone to work on their posture they automatically start walking around like they are in the Marines. backward or sideways. When standing straight up.The Best of TSBMAG. but the spine itself curves in a slight 'S'. This isn't the posture you should be striving for. Or any movie starring George Clooney.

place elbows at your side. then alternate 10 reps for each arm singularly. Keeping your hands on your shoulders. two) and lower them back to your waist (count one. You'll be surprised how much exercise fits into 30 seconds. you can even do these exercises without hand weights. I'd probably start my day off doing them to feel fresh and add some extra energy to my morning. If you have the time I good idea might be to take a yoga class. Align ears with shoulders. 35 . Think about being able to place a bowl in the hollow of your back. In fact. As you'll find in later chapters… a social superstar is looking for every excuse he can to find new ways to mingle with people and make new friends. Be a penguin. Do ten reps. You're not looking to build muscle mass… so you don't need to do the exercises with a large amount of weight. and touch your shoulders with your hands. 2. and your ears aligned. counting to ten as you raise arms. Avoid rolling in a circle. back. This is why it is important to do some of the following stretches: Tilt (stretch) your head in all four directions over your shoulders (forward. Raise both arms straight up. toast to pop. right). Remember to keep your ears aligned! Bend forearms toward shoulders to touch your shoulder blades. curl your back upwards. like a cat. and gently massage your neck. Hold for a slow count of ten. 1. counting ten as you lower. While you wait for a web page to load. Do as many reps as your wait allows.Social Superstar You want to do exercises that strengthen the muscles across your back and shoulders. When you first begin to improve your posture you might find that you neck or back will tend to get a little sore. constantly checking your alignment! If ten reps are too many to start. A yoga class is a perfect example of one of these methods. two). When you first make the commitment to improve your posture you should repeat these exercises several times per day. Raise both arms out to sides at shoulder length. as it may cause further strain. Slowly lower arms to sides. 3. Do 10 repetitions with both arms. You should at least feel a slight fatigue in the shoulder muscles. left. On your hands and knees. and then the opposite. raise both elbows (count one. Align your ears over your shoulders. do as many as you can. or the microwave to beep. alongside your ears. Slowly raise arms back to shoulder height.

Make sure your neck. the back of the head should also touch the wall . back. In this position. and walking. You may have to adjust the office chair. These 3 areas are sitting. not with weight on the heels. If there's a problem with feet reaching the floor comfortably. But we know by now that "Rockstar Posture" is crucial for a superstar… here are some more ways you can improve in these areas. about shoulder-width. Be sure the head is square on top of the neck and spine. the head is carried too far forward (anterior head carriage). • • • Standing Stand with weight mostly on the balls of the feet. Flex your arms at a 75 to 90 degree angle at the elbows. 36 . • • • • • Keep feet slightly apart. Align your back with the back of the office chair.COM As we discussed in the previous section on body language there are 3 general times the superstar needs to be keenly aware of his posture… and constantly working on improving it. Let arms hang naturally down the sides of the body. with shoulders upright. Avoid locking your knees. If you're following the body language advice laid out in the previous chapter on these three areas you'll have already noticed a significant natural improvement in your posture. Sitting • • Sit in an office chair. Stand against a wall with shoulders and bottom touching wall. standing. Keep both feet flat on the floor. Avoid slouching or leaning forward.The Best of TSBMAG. a footrest can be used along with the office chair. not pushed out forward Stand straight and tall.if it does not. Keep your shoulders straight. Tuck the chin in a little to keep the head level. especially when tired from sitting in the office chair for long periods. and heels are all aligned.

anger. fear. but that other people can read us by looking into ours. The most important thing to realize when working on improving your posture is that bad posture is like a bad habit. or sadness.Social Superstar Walking • • Keep the head up and eyes looking straight ahead. or keep an index card in your pocket with the words "Rock Star Posture" on it. There are six basic emotions in the human race. Keep shoulders properly aligned with the rest of the body. The eyes are often referred to as "the windows to the soul. and create a feeling of arousal in the person you are trying to attract." This statement is powerful because not only does it acknowledge the fact that we can read other people by simply looking into their eyes. disgust. A glance into someone's eyes can often reveal if they are experiencing happiness. Just be glancing into someone's eyes you can often tell what is going on inside their mind. Standing in front of a mirror for a couple days practicing won't get you lasting results. If this is really the case. This means that for a couple months it is necessary that you are consciously aware of your posture. Tie a string on your finger. set your phone alarm to go off randomly as a reminder. The Eyes One of the most important and critical components of displaying powerful and confident body language is the eyes. There is an accepted idea that most people will judge other people within the first five seconds of meeting them. And we all know how hard habits are to break. If you want lasting results you need to find a way to engrain this into your mind for a couple months. then doesn't is make sense to have them hypnotized by your eyes and your understanding of their wants and desires? You can do this by using your eyes to build rapport. surprise. It is probably most effective if you find a way to constantly be reminding yourself to be in tune with it. Each of these emotions are easily expressed through our eyes. Avoid pushing your head forward. Our eyes reveal more about us than any other part of our body. 37 .

This is why it is important that if she gives you an acknowledgement. to the left. But eye contact in regards to picking up women is something that I will discuss more later.The Best of TSBMAG. Women on the other hand. 70% of the time you will at the other person in the "eyes triangle. This acknowledgement could come in the form of a smile. nod. Caress your partner with your eyes as you gaze into their eyes. and the various rules and insights that go along with the process.COM When it comes to presenting confident body language. do not break to look at another person." This triangle extends from the ends of the eyebrows to the tip of this person's nose. will casually scan the room. When you intentionally break eye contact. It is important to know that men and women have different comfort levels in regards to the amount of eye contact that they are willing to give and receive. When you are talking to anyone it is generally accepted that you use the 70% rule in the United States. and marketing yourself. or to the right. all of the experts will agree that strong eye contact indicates a powerful presence. In this chapter I want to give you some various pointers in regards to the use of eye contact in regards to body language. As we will discuss in later chapters. knowing that you are always being watched… it is important to use eye contact correctly and efficiently. In later chapters we will go into more details about picking up women. Keep the focus of attention on the person you are talking to. do so by looking down. giving second glances to the men they are interested. For instance. Looking up in response to a question or while telling a story is fine. 38 . you should always give one in return if you are interested. If you make eye contact with a woman it is a good idea to give an acknowledgement to let them know you have noticed and are interested. When you break eye contact. But it is important to know how to correctly use that eye power as to not intimidate or scare away the person that you are trying to attract. men tend to fix their gaze on one or two particular women in a setting… not paying attention to the many other women that might be watching them. or eye brow raise. If you don't get an acknowledgement back. In this chapter I want to discuss ways in which you need to continually be aware of how you can use your eyes to your advantage. and moving past the men they are not. then chances are you misunderstood her eye contact. but looking up to break eye contact is often thought of as waning interest.

Women engage in more eye contact them men do. the greater the intimacy that is felt inside. 39 .Social Superstar Here is some scientific research on eye contacted as found in Kevin Hogan's book Irresistible Attraction: • • • • Generally speaking. Eye contact has been show to be a significant factor in the persuasion process. One reason men aren't as good in reading body language is hat men often communicate sitting or standing side by side and don't see as much non-verbal communication as women do. the more self esteem you are perceived to have. • • • • • • • Researchers have discovered that one of the most striking differences between people who are socially confident and those who are shy. When eye contact decreases mend tend to disclose more and women tend to disclose less. When women are engaged in a great degree of eye contact. Men can improve though. tending to look downward or away. is that confident people have much more frequent eye contact with their conversational partners. they tend to be more self-disclosing about personal subjects. Many shy people never make eye contact at all. instead of looking at their conversation partner’s face. Attraction increases as mutual gazing increases. the longer the eye contact between two people. Others rarely interrupt two people engaged in a conversation if they have consistent eye contact. The more eye contact you can maintain. the higher self esteem you actually rate yourself on. The longer your eye contact. Women are better non-verbal communicators than men. Pupils also enlarge when people are talking about things that bring them joy or happiness. They often contract when discussing issues that bring them sadness.

or look too frequently at other people. If you glance around the room too much.The Best of TSBMAG. In many animals. Although some people use staring intently as a deliberate tactic to intimidate others. you can look at the person’s face without focusing solely on the eyes. keep the majority of your focus on the other person. In humans too. Whenever you are in conversation with someone. not all people who stare piercingly at others mean it as 40 .COM Most North Americans. Avoid intense. They stare too intently into other people’s eyes when they are talking to them. When you are speaking with someone who is from a culture that prefers a lot of eye contact. the use of staring is part of a power struggle to determine which animal is dominant over the other. a struggle for dominance over another can often be signaled by a staring contest. While some people have difficulty maintaining eye contact during conversations. The very phrase "shifty-eyed" connotes a person whose eyes dart around the room. You may find that it eases your own discomfort if you let your vision go slightly out of focus. you can benefit from practicing in front of a mirror. You don’t need to use a piercing stare. especially Caucasians. It can be very unpleasant to be on the receiving end of an intense stare. If you gaze generally at the eyebrow area or the bridge of the nose. be sure to keep looking at that person frequently while you are talking. your conversation partner may assume that you are bored. often making their conversation partners feel very uncomfortable. implying that they are untrustworthy. this is close enough to the eye region that you will appear to be looking at the person’s eyes. If you have difficulty knowing exactly how to make eye contact. even while you are wondering what to say next. others have the opposite problem. or with another person. particularly at close range. except in very rare situations. If it really bothers you to look directly into another person’s eyes. a friendly gaze will do. prolonged staring into another person’s eyes. prefer to have a lot of eye contact when they are talking with someone. When a person doesn't make eye contact with them. North Americans tend to assume that person is hiding something. or that you are looking around for someone else you would rather talk with.

You can lighten the impression you are making by smiling more often. They want to see your eyes.Social Superstar an act of aggression or dominance. Even within North America. Are they clear or are they bloodshot? People who look at you will notice and the clearer your eyes the more attractive people will perceive you to be. this is not true of all people. • Start with your eyes. you may have been making your conversation partners very uncomfortable. make an effort to be sensitive to the expectations of the other person if you want to have a smooth relationship. These tips are from Kevin Hogan's Irresistible Attraction. and by gazing at the entire face as well as the eyes. there are some cultural groups that prefer not to make very much eye contact. nodding. it can be a shock to find out that eye contact is not always welcomed. 41 • . get ready to take them off. If you are dealing with someone who has different cultural practices than what you are used to. Although most North Americans like to have a lot of eye contact with their conversational partner. Some people who stare very intently into the eyes of others are quite unaware of the negative impression they are creating. There are many countries in the world where looking someone in the eye is considered to be disrespectful and an invasion of privacy. you can frequently glance away for brief periods. averting your eyes and keeping them lowered is considered the polite. Hey can add Mystery. If it has been your habit to stare intently into the eyes of other people without looking away. In addition. In North America. Key Components of Hypnotic eyes These are some ideas that you can take with you for using your eyes as a tool for marketing yourself better. If you wear sunglasses. but ultimately people want to see what they are getting. If you have grown up in a cultural group that expects eye contact. people of African American and First Nations origin usually prefer to make far less eye contact than Caucasians do. desirable thing to do. In many cultures around the world.

If you want to attract someone. People need to see your eyes. Make the person feel like they are the only person in the room that could possibly catch your eye. Eyebrow shrug. or is expecting a response .you can shrug your eyebrows at her to let her know you’re interested. Look at the person you are talking to about 70% of the time when communicating with them. This is the version that puts more social pressure on the girl (to qualify herself or retract a remark). It is often done subconsciously by both men and women . hard blink (two eyes). An eyebrow shrug can signify that a person is surprised.COM • • • • • • If you wear glasses. 5 non verbal gestures you should master using your eyes 1. “Did you actually just say that?” Two versions: in one. subtle shrug of the eyebrows (sometimes held longer) can also be used to express interest. but most folks can.The Best of TSBMAG. you are looking away and to the right when you open your eyes. Slow.this is the more playful (still with some social pressure) version.it can almost be used as a dare or challenge. consider contacts or surgery. 42 . Wink (one eye). and shows a strong degree of social confidence and awareness on your part. look at them. because she’s interested too. you are looking straight at the girl when you open your eyes . Raising both eyebrows can be used to show a number of different moods and expressions. In the other. the wink is nonetheless a fantastic means of communication. It’s sufficiently mysterious that it gets girls wondering. 2. Remember the longer they have eye contact with you the more emotional arousal they are experiencing inside. or make a note when she shrugs hers at you. Not everyone can do this. Avoid looking at others for any length of time when you are with someone who may be special. Look at a woman from shoulders up and she will think you have depth and personality. A favorite of television rakes and seducers. The wink is a great way to respond to a woman when she asks you a question you don’t feel like answering if she’s giving you a hard time… 3. This is an easy and effective way of communicating disbelief. as in. A quick.

43 . as the most socially conscious in the room. Ultra-skeptical look. But in there is more to an interaction than just words. Squint. In the previous three sections we discussed how critical body language. These are the elements that make up an interaction. Intrapersonal Communication Rules One of the hallmarks of a superstar is the way in which he interacts with other people. You will see that many men who are good with women squint while they are talking to them. As we will discuss in future chapters… the ability to talk well is one of the most important characteristics of a superstar. It helps to place them in the position of being the slightly skeptical selector. For instance. But even the interaction itself plays apart in how you come looking out of it. What I mean by this is that there are certain rules that you can follow that will always present you in the best possible light. you pull your lips into a half-smile (with one side of your mouth). If you look at a woman and squint. When most people think of good conversationalists they automatically think the ability to talk well. Basically. and your eyes are in creating a seductive hypnotic presence. Think James Bond. Think Don Draper. The squint is a way of saying that you are thinking about something. while kind-of laughing/huffing in a “I can’t believe she said that” way.Social Superstar 4. the simple act of selecting where you sit can display dominant alpha characteristics that will also facilitate the communication process. This is when you look at a woman like she just said the most retarded thing you’ve ever heard. it can seem like you are sizing her up and trying to decide if you like her a lot. These guys don't always say a lot but they have the amazing ability to communicate more in glances and movements than most guys do in entire sentences. You hold this look and stare at her until she gives into the social pressure. and simultaneously shrugging your eyebrows. If he is left handed sit to his left. Here are some basic rules about choosing your seat in different circumstances. posture. or alternatively that you doubt the truth or accuracy of something that is being said. 5. If you are meeting a client or friend and you know that they are right handed sit to his right.

Similarly. it just means that when you do enter this space you are doing so strategically and with specific intention. When you find the ones that look best. There are two solid ways to work on facial expressions. Keep performing them over and over again until it feels natural for your face to contort to those specific expressions. practice them.The Best of TSBMAG. This doesn't mean you can't lean in to share a secret with him or her. you should be seated across from her at a smaller more intimate table. Entering this space is done so at your own risk. Intimate space is normally defined as an 18 inch bubble around the entire body of the other person. you also stand the risk of losing the focus of the client. A smile not always changes the way people respond to you. These are the first thing someone notices about you during conversation. And these are "features" that are within your control. When you are communicating with another person you need to be consciously aware of your facial expressions and hand gestures. 44 . sparkling eyes. but if positively changes your internal chemistry.COM If you are attempting to persuade another man you should be sitting across from each other. This is more "real" than looking in a mirror as you will have the opportunity to see all of your habits in action. The first is to stand in front of a mirror and try out different expressions. Do you find that people often ask you what's wrong? Even when you're completely content? If so it means that you need to seriously work on your facial expressions. which is 19 inches to 4 feet. Whether seated or standing you should stay out of the other person's intimate space. relaxed countenance that responds to conversation with a natural smile looks of alertness and interest. The second way to practice facial expressions is with the aid of a video camera. This is the ideal way because by videotaping yourself in a social situation you get to see how your face naturally contorts while in conversations. If you are attempting to communicate well with a female in business or a social setting. and an attentively tilted head are all looks that gain universal approval. if you leave the "casual personal" space of the other person. A pleasant.

We will notice things that will probably make us feel embarrassed or ashamed. and overcome it. models. darting. Likewise. unfavorable expressions. the guy who uses flailing. Work on it. But it is imperative that you face this. It is incredible how much we don't know about ourselves until we carefully study ourselves on film. Trust me. This is why you must be conscious of what your hands are saying. People from across the room can observe you and learn a lot about you by the way you use your hands in conversation. and musicians go through with their stylists and publicist. There is a lot that can be communicated with the hands. and from side to side by the width of your shoulders. posture. nervous gestures such as tapping your fingers on a table and picking at your face or nails can make you look insecure. 45 . and eye contact habits that you may want to work on. You can continue this process several times until you get rid of all of your nervous ticks. Hand gestures generally take place in a square area defined up and down by the waist to the neck. and then once again have someone record you in a social situation. this will be an uncomfortable exercise for most of us. and perfect your smile. The use of a video camera can also really help you identify the body language. Using your hands Some people talk with their hands.Social Superstar Once you've identified the habits that you want to change. jerking or broad movements pushes people away be defining large space around off limits. It is much more graceful and relaxing to cup your hands together. then you must find new expressions to replace them with. For instance. It is at this point that the use of a mirror will come in handy. Now you have specific goals that you want to achieve in regards to your facial expressions. You need to be your own publicist. This is exactly the kind of training movie stars.

and the appearances they’ve made. It is known that girls use this tactic all of the time in bars and clubs to make their judgments on guys. With this definition… in all likelihood. This is why it is taught in the community that you need to create social proof through being the most social guy in 46 . We want to be able to quickly classify a person into a certain group. I believe that you should view your social life in the same way. have a bunch of happy customers . the testimonials they have. Building an online social resume allows you influence many more people with much less effort.and then put that social proof on auto-pilot. so that we know how to approach and deal with them. Building Your Social Resume If you use the above formula for “becoming an expert” and apply it to “becoming a social superstar” you will quickly see your social status sky rocket! We human beings don’t have the time or energy to really dig deeply to find out the truth about someone… so we look for the clues that will make these judgments easy for us. the real estate world. Your Plan: In The Four Hour Work Week Tim Ferriss points out that in today’s world the definition of an expert is largely created through the affiliations he or she belongs to. and have performed some speaking engagements or received some media coverage relating to the subject.COM Chapter 4: Building Your Social Resume Your Objective: The objective of building your social resume is to create massive social proof for yourself. anyone can become an “expert” on any subject in a short period of time.The Best of TSBMAG. This means that in order to coin yourself an expert in say. you would need to belong to several trade organizations.

The value in the trip to the Mansion wasn’t the girls we were going to hit on there. and I plastered our Facebook pages with the pictures. If you want to be viewed as a Social Rockstar… become one! Elements of the resume 47 .Social Superstar the place and then using routines and stories in your conversations that further exemplify your high social status. you get testimonials. You affiliate with other rockstars. and wrote detailed accounts of the experience that we emailed all of our friends. Within hours of changing our Facebook status to “Partying at the Playboy Mansion” we each had girls we hadn’t spoken to in years leaving us comments and emails with questions like “How did you guys get in the party?” “I heard that it was a private party. Sure I had a vague curiosity to party at the Mansion… but I knew it wouldn’t be nearly as fun as some of my rendezvous in Brazil. Then why did I trek across the country to go there? Simple. twittered the news. Pete the Freshman. Immediately after attending the event. who do you know?” and so on. Pete. The value came from the pictures we took. While I completely agree with this theory… I believe that you should take it a step further and position yourself as a Rockstar. and I added to our social resume when we attended the party at Playboy Mansion. Last week when we attended a reunion at our former college. Do you think that created some instant social proof? We never even had to bring it up in a conversation. Mike. the news of our adventure in the Mansion had already spread like wildfire… and we’re continually pressed and praised about it. or even this past Mansformation Weekend. as someone would inevitably ask us about it. The results were immediate. How do you do this? You do this the same way a so-called expert builds his resume. I was further solidifying my position as a Rockstar. A couple months ago Mike Stoute. and the stories we are now able to continually tell about the experience. and you make appearances at the right venues. It is a simple theory really.

and a list is what connects a marketer to his customers. proof comes from your associations. Once you have a platform for showcasing your “proof” you need to start acquiring it. a list is what creates sales… a list is what spreads word of mouth. If you don’t have an account…GET ONE! You have to view these accounts as your publicity machine. Appearances: The places you are perceived to be spending your time. and your appearances.com/profile.mention this manuscript and I will send you a link to an hour long podcast I did with Race de Preist on effectively using Facebook to meet women. These two accounts (I prefer Facebook) will be constantly marketing your unique selling points.facebook. This is because it is more important to create the image of… then to be consistently living it.php?id=515434783 When I receive your friend request. Associations: The people you are perceived to hang out with.COM The number one tool that you have in creating your social resume is your Facebook and Myspace accounts. You have to view your Facebook friends as a master marketer views his list. If you’re new to it Race and Kelly give a couple fantastic tips for getting hot girls to leave comments on your page. For example. people will naturally be talking about you and leaving comments on your page. If you couple these pictures with another group of pictures from one other exclusive event… you’ll be perceived as the kind of guy who regularly attends these sorts of events. I could write an entire post about the specifics of creating your Facebook or Myspace profile.The Best of TSBMAG. If you're on Facebook simply send me a friend request: http://www. You probably noticed that I used the word perceived in the above definitions. Testimonials: What other people are saying about you. This is an area you do not want to slack off in. Remember. your testimonials. The testimonials are easy to get… if you’re living the life. 48 . Facebook is your list. but you’re better off learning from an expert. To a marketer. my pictures from the Mansion create the image of a guy who is invited to high profile-hard to get into parties.

Social Superstar http://www.php?af=795295 Remember: Befriend me on Facebook and I will send you an hour long podcast that goes much more into detail on the subject of using Facebook for meeting women and building your social scene.windowshoppingforwomen.com/profile.php?id=515434783 49 .com/cmd.facebook. http://www.

Your attitude should sub consciously tell the people within your scene that you are a scarce commodity. but down on paper as well.you must never verbally tell them or act in a way that you feel you are superior to them and will leave them behind.The Best of TSBMAG. acting. Once you create a well-thought out. The attitude and values you possess on the inside will directly relate to the way you are perceived on the outside. You must ask yourself the critical questions: What would my "new self" think in this situation? What would he say? How would he act? And at all times you need live and breathe that identity. Your Plan: Decide exactly what kind of guy you want to be If you really intend on changing your identity and thriving in a social world. 50 . passions. thinking. Building up your inner game will be make you the kind of person people like to be around.description of the person you intend on becoming… you need to keep this vision in your mind as often as possible. and commitments that your time is extremely limited. It is important to remember that other people must be lead to believe this on their own. The attitude you present to the world should establish you as a likeable person. This must all be completely fleshed out. You need to have a clear vision of your end result if you intend on getting there. It should convey that you are so focused on your own goals. feeling.COM Chapter 5: The Attitude (liking + scarcity) Your Objective: The objective of your attitude is to establish both liking and scarcity. not only in your mind. Your attitude should convey the fact that you "are going places" and probably won't be around this scene forever. you must first be fully aware of how you intend on looking. and being.

Then forget the failure and move on. All of the negative memories we are going to leave behind. By creating this list. Anchor vibrant energetic states Personally I find most aspects of NLP unhelpful and annoying… but I have found a great use for the idea of anchoring vibrant energetic states. "I learned that success comes from perseverance" And then add that to the quality of the kind of guy you want to be if it isn't already listed. There is no use re-living them. Were you the spelling bee champion in the 2nd great? Did you hit the winning home run in a little league game? Score a hot chick? Tell a funny joke? These are going to form your new identity. You've already learned everything you need to learn from them. The positive memories create the foundation of your confidence. and second guessing. As for your mistakes and failures… as they come along. You'll notice that as the list grows. 51 . As much as people say "repeat I'm confident over and over" that will not work unless you have some cold hard facts to back it up.Social Superstar Many books will tell you to merely think it enough… and you're subconscious will magically turn you into him. It is your job to not only be concentrating your mind on being this person…. no matter how big or small. you'll need to take with you your previous successes and accomplishments. will be added to this list. when asking yourself how "the new you" would act… you can factor in the quality of perseverance. This will be a never ending habit. so will your confidences. If you quit something before finishing it… instead of saying "I'm a failure" simply say. ask yourself "what did I learn" and write down your answer in as a positive statement. But in order to maintain the qualities that uniquely make you… you. Every accomplishment you achieve. you in essence backing up your claim that you are confident and allowing yourself to act that way without feeling like a fraud. Focus on your past successes instead of failures In the quest to reinvent your identity you'll need to leave behind the failures. doubts. but actively acting in the way you'd imagine this person to act. You need to collect as many of these memories and write them down as vividly and descriptively as possible. And in the future.

Never be content with just one success. During that period of raised confidence it is important to attempt to achieve another form of success. For some strange reason the universe loves the concept of momentum… and slumps. then it would go without saying that the one of the most important aspects of self confidence is peak physical health.COM I came across this idea by accident. the core attribute your looking to build upon is your sense of self worth and confidence. Experience Peak Health If self confidence and esteem really come from the inside out. This is the foundation for everything. run down. the more likely we are to radiate these traits outward. your confidence is increased. have a headache. Build on little successes In the beginning of your identity make over. while standing or moving around. and I used to listen to the same songs over and over while I ran on the treadmill at the gym. cough. It is extremely hard to get into state when you're tired. making it that much easier to have another success. We've already talked about focusing on past success. I later found that if I listened to these songs. I was unconsciously anchoring these songs to a feeling of an adrenaline rush. I tended to bring back that exercise high I used to only experience at the gym. If you are interested in learning more about anchoring check out a book on the subject. The more vibrant and energetic we feel inside. You need to keep the success momentum going. You should continually be building on every success you have. but I haven’t been able to do that… so I wouldn't want to give you advice that I cannot personally verify as being true. Because certain songs tended to pump me up. and creating a success journal… but you also need take advantage of the momentum that each success brings. stomach ache. Whenever you have a success. before leaving the bar instigate a few more conversations. or soreness. There are people who claim to be able to anchor specific feelings to a certain touch. I played them more often during the point of the work out where my adrenaline was peaked.The Best of TSBMAG. My Ipod only had a few songs on it at the time. Without knowing it. runny nose. 52 . If you have a good conversation with a girl at bar.

. pizza. You must force yourself to change your diet permanently. Look at is simply as the way you eat. greasy. If you are consistently filling up on McDonalds. and unmotivated. If you're on vacation… you still go. Also. Taco Bell. You will find that once you get into a consistent exercise habit your confidence will begin to sky rocket. Don't look at it like you're on a diet. If you find yourself consistently making excuses as to why you missed a workout.Social Superstar This is why it is important to treat your body like a temple. Exercise 2. get in the habit of eating oatmeal and Green tea. Even without the long term health benefits of changing your diet and exercise you will feel an immediate benefit in the amount of energy you possess. There is a saying "you are what you eat. you will begin to accept this behavior from yourself. the clarity of your mind. gassy. If your body is run down from eating badly and not exercising.. every day you find time to get to the gym. like exercise has to be a must. Think about the last time you finished off a Big Mac or a big dish of General Tso's… did you feel like you could conquer the world? Did you feel attractive? Many people don't realize that a big source of their depression stems from their lack of physical health. You'll often feel bloated. Eating healthy Exercise is critical. exercise provides you with an opportunity to anchor vibrant states to yourself as we spoke of earlier. and your 53 ." This saying has a lot of truth to it. The more discipline you prove you have to yourself. and Chinese food… your body will respond accordingly. The trick to starting an exercise and healthful eating habit is to make it a must. Instead of having a Taylor ham and cheese bagel and coffee for breakfast. the easier it will become. tired. If you're hung over… you still go. The two keys to peak health: 1. your level of motivation. you still go. This means there are no excuses. Eating healthy. Once you break your old pattern you will find that the oatmeal fills you up just as much as the bagel and the Green Tea energizes you more than the coffee. If its snowing out. your mind will often follow right behind it.

I would look in the mirror and see a scruffy. in dirty clothes. I soon discovered that I was often depressed and felt very discouraged with myself. Say yes to yourself As children we so often hear the word "no" or "you can't" that we grow up inflicting ourselves with these words. unkempt guy. Stay Well Groomed. What I want you to get out of this section is that it is always important to look and feel your best. This will keep you motivated and inspired. fixing my hair nice. plucking my eyebrows. Later in the day when it was time to leave. they would wash up. Well Dressed I discovered this principle when I was working as a paint contractor. and change back into their nice clothes before heading home. But then I came to understand that this was how they kept their dignity.The Best of TSBMAG. and would feel like that was all I was. These benefits carry over into all areas of your life. What I noticed though was that a couple of my Spanish employees would come to work every day looking sharp. When we want to buy something we want a voice appears in our head saying "no you can't afford that" or "shouldn't you buy something more useful?" When we want to talk to a girl or apply for a job a voice in our head says "don't. You need to look in the mirror and be proud of how you come across. even when no one is watching. Then once they got to work. or keeping up my appearance the day's I was working. In the chapter on making yourself more attractive I gave many hints on how you can increase your physical attractiveness. This is how they separated themselves from their job. Because the one and only person you really need to impress is yourself. tanning. trimming my nose hairs.COM increased pride in yourself discipline. in nice clothes. they would change into their work clothes. Because my job entailed me to where old painter's clothes and often find myself covered in paint… I would often decide that it wasn't worth shaving. But this was a horrible mentality to have. I used to have the mentality that if I'm not going to see anyone. or wearing nice clothes. doing my hair. what is the point of shaving." 54 . At first I never understood why they bothered.

Order whatever it is you want on the menu regardless of price. or our teachers or relatives told us.Social Superstar We are unconsciously embedding the word no into our minds. 55 . It will reshape the way you live your life. and bam your life is changed." "You can get it next year" How can you ever get what you really want if you are your own biggest obstacle in achieving it? The step to reversing this is to practice saying yes to yourself. how much would this have improved your life? It only takes one great employer to give you a chance despite your shoddy resume. Crutches are things that we use to avoid reality. Do you really enjoy playing World of Warcraft 7 hours a day… or is it easier than admitting to yourself that you're scared to talk to girls. Whatever it is that we want we are often the first person to talk ourselves out of it. We tell ourselves all of the same excuses that our parents told us. Apply for a job that you have no qualifications for. If you didn't have yourself in your ear telling you "no" how many more girls would you have approached? How many more classes would you have taken? Jobs applied for? Friends made? Even if you only achieved a fraction of the extra dreams you went for. This will set precedence. It means cutting off your "booty call" and finding a girl that inspires you. "You're too young" "You only wind up breaking it" "You'll hurt yourself" "You'll lose it" "You have to be fair" "You can't afford it. It means going for broke. or apply yourself. It also means eliminating your crutches…. Eliminate Your Crutch/Burn Your Ships To fully develop unstoppable inner game and the winning attitude it is necessary to burn our ships and get rid of our crutches. or one beautiful women to fall in love with you. or one professor to see your hidden brilliance in a subject. for some guys it fantasy football. They are the place that we crawl back to avoid facing defeat in other areas. some guys its porn.. This means that quitting a dead end part time job and focusing 100% on your dream. Get in the habit of allowing yourself to have the things you want. For some guys their crutch is video games. While there is nothing wrong with having a hobby… the problem arises when you hide yourself in your hobby.

make an effort to initiate one more conversation every day. Quitting the job not only meant burning my ships (as the job provided me with money. Push yourself past your comfort zone daily Look at yourself like a rubber band. I would head over to the restaurant and drink with my buddies. It doesn't matter what your comfort zone is any area. but it makes your life exciting. Embrace Your Passions 56 . and dates) but it also meant eliminating my crutch. The objective is to stretch yourself into the largest and greatest rubber band of all time.. At the time. crank out an extra rep or two. think outside the box. I knew deep inside that if I kept working there I would stay comfortable and never achieve my goals of running a successful business or publishing a book. You won't feel trapped. Say something that surprises you.COM The hardest thing I ever had to do a few years back was quit the restaurant I was working in.The Best of TSBMAG. If you're going to the gym. The job provided me with a solid wad of cash every week. whenever I experienced a set back at the real estate agency I was working at. and unlimited females to interact with and date. If you're working on a project. close friends. or got frustrated with the screenplay I was writing. If you are trying to conquer shyness. Not only does this help you grow as a person. Yet. and then burn them. run an extra minute. then say something unexpected in one of the conversations you are involved in. Things won't get boring. Try something zany even if it doesn't work this time it will train your mind to look for new ways of doing things. It is important that you push yourself past at least one comfort zone daily. You have to find out what your ships and crutches are. friends. You'll begin to look forward to each day as you'll find yourself continually surprising yourself. add a bit more resistance. it is just important that you push yourself past it daily. If you don't have the opportunity to initiate an extra conversation. Life will no longer seem repetitive. All was always good there. How do you achieve this? This push yourself one step further every day.

This is not the case. imagine you have this money. or open a bar where they know everyone. You might find that hour becomes your most cherished of the day. then you're letting yourself down. How do you find your passion? Think to yourself "what would I be doing if I suddenly won $150 million in the lottery. 57 . The trick is to find whatever you would do if time and money were not an object and do it now. this freedom. Really get inside your mind. Maybe they decide they want to write children's books. In Tim Ferriss's book The Four Hour Work Week he gives an exercise called Dreamlining which allows you to see approximately how much money you will need to make to finance your dreams. Sure. You'll often find that achieving life goals and dreams doesn't cost nearly as much as you think. energizing reason to get out of bed every morning does amazing things for your self esteem. you might not be able to do it in the same capacity now. What sparks you? Most people think if they won that kind of money that they would want to retire on a beach somewhere… but often when they really think of it. unproductive life. If you don't live up to your own standards. or volunteer for worthy causes. Only Seek Approval from Yourself Many people misinterpret the advice to "not care what people think" to be advice recommending living a slovenly. or travel the world. You are the only judge of what is important for you. Once you visit that place. Let it drive you. If you want to travel the world… pick one place right now and set a goal to visit it. withdrawn. or write music. the more it shows on the outside. Let it power you. and then envision yourself in different scenarios. they'll decide something completely different. or paint. But in this section I just want to remind you that the more inspired you are on the inside. Don't jump at the first thought that comes into your mind. Spend an hour every night writing. If you would write children's books… start writing one now. When you find something that drives you… go with it. Really dwell on it. set a goal to visit another place. but plant the seed of passion in your mind. In a later chapter I have reproduced that exercise for you.Social Superstar I will go more into detail about embracing your passions in the section on being an interesting person. Having a solid. or train for the Olympics.

This is not advice to be selfish.COM You can't please everyone. the more you wind up pleasing no one.The Best of TSBMAG. The first and foremost person you need to please is yourself. And the more you try to please everyone. It is simply advice to live life on your terms and not let the whims of the masses affect your ability to make decisions. 58 .

the kind of person that people want to be around. They want to be told what to do. They are most fascinated and attached to what they can't have. What makes someone cool? Well everything we talked about in the previous chapter “Look the Part” definitely plays a huge part in appearing cool. And most importantly they want someone to look up to. your influence over them will run thin… and you will also not enjoy yourself around them nearly as much. which ultimately you must do to demonstrate that you are cool. above all you must be likeable. You must get other people to like you. If you want to be captivating. Looking cool is a good way to get people to take notice.you must convey three weapons of influence. Your Plan: I was originally going to call this chapter. The final ingredient to being captivating is possessing a sense of authority. These weapons are liking. If they don't like you. and authority. People are like sheep. scarcity. And how do you demonstrate that you are cool? Be interesting! 59 . But looking cool doesn’t make you cool. captivating or cool. People get bored and uninterested in what is always around.but decided that cool is subjective and people might not understand it as a standalone definition.Social Superstar Chapter 5: Be Captivating (liking + scarcity + authority) Your Objective: In order to be interesting. The second weapon of influence you must use is that of scarcity. They want to be led.Be Cool.

surfing. collecting comic books. snowboarding. While they all can be fun and rewarding… how interesting do these hobbies make you appear to other people? What if your hobbies included: Playing in a cover band. So how do you “be interesting” you ask? Here are some traits of interesting people that we will explore further: Interesting hobbies Interesting profession Contradictory character traits The dirty little secret Fearless Says less than necessary No where you’re going Never appear too perfect Have interesting hobbies Out of all of the traits. or race car driving? Do you think other people would take a tad bit more interest in you? 60 . rock climbing. What we choose to make our hobbies is our choice. or golf as a hobby. Some people will take this the wrong way and think they have to load up on useless facts and knowledge… ala Mystery’s “Did you know fish cough?” routine. Some people choose playing Halo 3. There just doesn’t seem to be anything deeper than the pretty exterior. world travel. hacking into highly secured computer networks. this is the easiest to immediately implement.COM Wallflowers are rarely cool. While devouring interesting facts and storing them away for appropriate times can make you sound interesting and does play a small part in a Social Superstar repertoire…it is more important that you be interesting. fantasy football.The Best of TSBMAG. volunteer relief aid work. World of Warcraft. If you want to be a Social Superstar it is crucial that you become the most interesting person in the room. Why? Because as pretty as they can be… they’re usually like talking to a wall. We can choose anything. tango dancing.

or traveling the world? Maybe words like: Adventurous Passionate 61 . And most people are compelled to know why? How many people are genuinely curious as to why you spend your free time shuffling around your fantasy football roster? Not many I would assume. How many girls admire your dedication to World of Warcraft? How many of those same girls would admire your dedication to volunteering to perform relief work after various catastrophes? What you choose to do with your free time says more about you then anything that comes out of your mouth. A guy who chooses to learn and compete in tango dancing competitions is an oddity. You need to develop passion for these things. Merely going through the motions of rock climbing. But there is something unique and interesting about the type of guy who chooses to spend his free time rock climbing while his friends are sitting in front of a computer playing video games.Social Superstar Your immediate reaction might be to say that simply faking an interest in a hobby is enough. You may ask what is more interesting about surfing than golf. What would personality traits would most people attach to someone whose hobby was following major league sports or playing video games or golf? Now. It’s not. This is where the value of this lesson comes in. The hobby itself is not what makes you interesting. It is actually pretty boring to watch. Your hobbies give other people the ability to make a snapshot judgment of your personality traits. You need to develop a passion for them that radiates from within your core being. Are you starting to get the idea? What you choose to make your hobby tells other people a lot about your personality. It is your choice to pursue that hobby which makes you interesting. or flying around the world is not enough. This is a guy who marches to the beat of a different drummer. This is a guy who goes against the grain. what personality traits do you associate with someone who spends their free time surfing. playing in a cover band. There is nothing fundamentally fascinating about rock climbing. or struggling to surf.

In the late Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture he talks about rediscovering your childhood dreams as a way to bringing fulfillment to your life. My first recommendation is to choose a few things that you have a genuine interest in. exciting. What were some of your childhood dreams you gave up on? Did you want to be an archeologist like Indiana Jones. you can search meetup. cave dweller. The best way to find out the potential of turning one of your childhood dreams into a current hobby is to begin by searching around the internet. And even better. Most people are confined to the day to day activities that make up their comfort zone.COM Free spirited Thrill seeking Interesting people are often associated with these sorts of words.com for groups in your area. and interesting hobbies is not as hard as it may seem. and ability to live life outside the comfort zone that is so fascinating to us. you’re likely to find a group of people that have made a hobby out of the same exact thing to share experiences with. These new acquaintances might open your eyes to entirely new horizons. Are you a sheep? 62 . They are a rare commodity in a world where most people act like mindless sheep following along with the herd. rock star? Who says you can’t be? In our times it is possible to make a hobby out of any possible thing you may have an interest in. It is their drive. Take some time for a moment and think about the kind of words people would use to describe you. It is amazing what you find when you begin to step outside of your comfort zone. or you can visit specialized travel sites to see what kind of adventure travel they offer. determination. you can run a Yahoo Groups or Google Groups search and see if there is already a group of people discussing it. a space explorer. This is what makes these “interesting” people so extraordinary.The Best of TSBMAG. Finding new. You can run a general Google search and see what comes up. The wonderful thing about entering one of these groups is that it presents you with an opportunity to meet new and exciting people that you normally would not have come in contact with. computer hacker.

but it will also help you understand the means it will take to achieve your dreams. for others fortune or prestige. I am going to take the next section directly from Tim Ferriss's book and urge you follow this advice and create your dreamlines. racing ostriches. being (be a great cook. etc. material wants: house. For some. The sad truth is that most people don’t even finish a book that they startlet alone persist long enough to make it to the finals of a surf competition in Hawaii. If you pick a hobby that continually challenges you and forces you to continually dig deep inside to persist… you will grow as a person. be fluent in Chinese. its unimportant. tracing your roots overseas. If you really want a Ferrari. as most will. This is an exercise in reversing repression. All people have their vices and 63 . You will be looked as sort of an authoritative figure. car.). And most people don’t travel out of their state – let alone backpack across South East Asia.) in that order. If you have difficulty identifying what you want in some categories. etc.6 months and 12 months. For now.let alone climb to the top of Mount Everest.Social Superstar There are more benefits to exploring a new and exciting hobby other than being perceived as interesting. but not limited to. There is a certain amount of unsaid respect and admiration for the man or woman who does these things. clothing.). Some people call this “developing character.” Others will call it “maturity. Be sure not to judge or fool yourself. and do not concern yourself with how these things will be accomplished. etc. Dreamlining In Tim Ferriss's brilliant book "The Four Hour Work Week" he gives a phenomenal exercise that will not only help you develop your passion. What would you do if there was no way you could fail? If you were 10 times smarter than the rest of the world Create two timelines. Do not limit yourself. consider what you hate or fear in each and write down the opposite. don't put down solving world hunger out of guilt. You will seem to possess a wisdom normally reserved for wise old men.” No matter what name you give it the results are the same. the dream will be fame. Most people quit a fitness routine a few weeks after beginning. and doing (visiting Thailand.and list up to five things you dream of having (including.

COM insecurities. In that case. Repeat the process with the 12 month timeline if desired. day to day. if you had $100 million in the bank? b) What would make you excited to wake up in the morning to another day? Don't rush. Here are a few examples: Great cook = make Christmas dinner without help Fluent in Chinese = have a five minute conversation with a Chinese coworker What are the four dreams that would change it all? Using the six month timeline. Drawing a blank? For all their bitching about what's holding them back. If something will improve your feeling of self worth. This is particularly true with the "doing" category. put it down. Identify an action that would characterize this state of being or task that would mean you have achieved it. most people have a lot of trouble coming up with the defined dreams they're being held from. If still blocked. 64 . but this column is just a temporary spot for "doing" actions. star or otherwise highlight the four most exciting and/or important dreams from all the columns. consider these questions: a) What would you do. People find it easier brainstorm "being" first.think about if for a few minutes.The Best of TSBMAG. fill in the five "doing" spots with the following: • • • • • One place to visit One thing to do before you die (memory of a lifetime One thing to do daily One thing to do weekly One thing you've always wanted to learn What does "being" entail doing? Convert each "being" into a "doing" to make it actionable.

But for the rest of us. the required vehicle to achieve them and build momentum with critical first steps. This happens after years of naming your current profession when asked “what do you do?” If you say “I’m a painter. The truth is we all have to earn a living. to outline every step from start to finish. Once you have three steps for each of the four goals. Define three steps for each dream that will get you closer to its actualization.” or “I’m tech support. and living like a superstar. 65 . Identifying yourself with your job is fine if you’re a rock star. The variable change too much and in-the future distance becomes an excuse for postponing action. In fact. therefore.” or name any other job too many times you begin to identify yourself with your job. tomorrow and the day after. actor. First. Far too many people let their jobs define who they are as a person. let's focus on those critical first steps. Set actions-simple. we are cutting ourselves short. If not rachet it down. I'm not a believer in long-term planning and far-off goals. or astronaut. Do it now. complete the three actions in the "now" column. but to define the end goal.Social Superstar Determine three steps for each of the four dreams in just the six month timeline and take the first steps now. And very few jobs are glamorous. You are much more than your occupation. CIA agent. But why not choose a profession that genuinely interests you? Chances are if it genuinely interests you… it probably is interesting to other people as well. I generally set 3-month and six month dreamlines. The objective of this exercise isn't.com Have an Interesting Profession This one is a lot more difficult to control than finding an interesting hobby. I would never recommend choosing a profession simply because it sounds glamorous. CEO of a fortune 500 company.” or “I’m a real estate agent. If you fall into the unglamorous and mundane… do not be defined by your work. Each should be simple enough to do in five minutes or less. well-defined actions-for now. This is a good introduction to dreamlining and illustrates how it can create the needed momentum to set you on the right direction towards achieving your life goals. For the continuation of this exercise pick up a copy of "The Four Hour Work Week" or visit fourhourworkweek.

I would concentrate more on finding a job that you’re passionate about rather than choosing a job strictly for conversation pieces. Do not kid yourself into believing that you don’t. I would spend more energy on finding interesting hobbies.The Best of TSBMAG. Hobbies tell more about you anyway… because they are what you choose to do on your free time. If you’re starting from scratch and a curious about some examples of interesting jobs. I’ve made a short list of examples below: • • • • • • • FBI Agent Firefighter Archeologist Any job in film.COM I could spend fifty pages trying to talk you into following your dream profession and why it is completely possible that you attain it… but that is beyond the scope of this book. mundane. There are countless examples of interesting lower paying jobs out there like tour guide. If you've follow the advice laid out above in regards to discovering your passions and creating hobbies 66 . In the pickup/seduction community there is a lot of talk about demonstrating higher value. street artist… and so on. or television Airline pilot Reporter (for legitimate magazine or newspaper) Public Speaker These are just few of the better paying jobs. Interesting Skills A social superstar has the keen ability to keep everyone in the room focused on him. Passion is not only contagious. if you are truly passionate about it. that will shine through. but it is a vehicle for putting your charisma and enthusiasm on display. I would recommend at the very least finding a job that you’re passionate about. music. Even if the job sounds like the most boring job on the planet. I simply want to point out the fact that if you’re in a boring. skydiving instructor. death trap of job… you have options. So while the job itself might not be glamorous… you will appear glamorous performing it.

Daryl would tell the person to pick out one of the cards. For these guys. He would then lay out 7 cards on a table or floor. continue his performance for a bit. As with all of the different skills I will list. In my college days I had two good friends Daryl and Kevin who mastered one simple card trick that had audiences captivated every time they performed it. The Sniffing Card Trick This trick requires a silent partner. and never revealed the secret of how they accomplished it until years later. He would sell the trick well by really smelling the cards and acting as if he was looking for a clue on the card. For some guys it takes awhile to fully integrate themselves into a new hobby or passion to the point that they feel it will benefit them in social gatherings. I suggest taking the advice of some of the most popular dating coaches and gurus and learn some routines that you can bust out at parties. you will most likely already be developing some interesting traits and skills that are all your own. I'm not 67 . It was a trick that they worked together on. Daryl would leave the room while the person chose the card. I saw Daryl perform the trick countless times and no one ever figured it out. He would then invite someone to take part in the trick. but with the popularity behind them do to legendary pick up artist Mystery. bars. While everyone's attention was on Daryl. and eventually choose the right card. there must be a place for them in this book. realize that was the card. When Daryl came back to the room he would begin sniffing each card. it is important to pick skills that are congruent with your personality. My two friends Daryl and Kevin pulled this off for years in college without anyone ever catching onto it. Kevin would subtly scratch his nose when Daryl sniffed the right card. Daryl would notice Kevin scratching his nose. show it to everyone in the room and then put it back in the row of 7 cards. and gathering that will make you stand out from the crowd. Other Magic Tricks I have never been big on magic tricks. I am going to list this trick along with several other types of skills and routines you can learn to captivate an audience. Basically Daryl would pull out a deck of cards and shuffle them around for a bit.Social Superstar around them. Magic tricks worked for Mystery because he was genuinely passionate about magic.

You're a fun social guy though. just getting over a really bad break up…" and 5 out of 10 times the band will invite you on stage to sing the song.penguinmagic. make up some bullshit about "leaving town. If the band doesn't seem to be biting. maybe a round of shots. During one of the set breaks you start bullshitting with the band.com http://www..com and purchase some of the tricks that the pros use on stage. Think Jessie's Girl. buy them all a drink.. Learn to Play or Sing one song You're at a bar. and how much you miss being up on stage. www. Play to their egos. which will allow them to charge more money for their appearances. they will try to appease you. your birthday. all swooning over the shitty cover band up on stage. John Bon Jovi wanna be seems to have his pick of the litter tonight. its jampacked with friends. There is also a wonderful resource for guys looking to use magic to improve their game called PUMA Skills. introduce them to some of your hot female friends. If you believe that magic tricks are something that you would like to add to your repertoire of skills you can find some videos of a few good ones on our companion site. They 68 . Most cover bands are just looking to build a following. but you must have some real interest in the subject matter. The long haired. The kind of guy women want to fuck.tsbmag." If you are serious about learning magic and want to try your skills with some more professional tricks you can go to www. and men want to be friends with.com/2006/10/29/demonstrate-higher-value-withlevitation-trick/ You can also view more magic trick videos by going to Youtube and searching "magic tricks. You casually mention how you sing "insert song you've practiced a million times" really well.tsbmag. and boat loads of hotties.The Best of TSBMAG.tsbmag. If they sense that you're the kind of guy who rolls with a large entourage. The trick to this is to learn one song that most cover bands will know… and love to play.COM saying that you have to have a desire to be a magician to perform magic tricks.com/2006/10/31/demonstrate-higher-value-withtorn-card-trick/ http://www. co-workers. in hopes that you will encourage your crew to be their new groupies.

There is no reason you both can't share the stage for a moment. The first criterion for this is that you have a decent voice and a good sense of rhythm. Sure. Which really comes down to mastering a few chords. When you get on stage to kick ass with the band… it is should come as total shock… which will amplify the effect. Why not blow them away with something really good? Most people study for years to get really good at the guitar. When the party rolls around feel free to strum away. which is a pleasant characteristic of a super star. Best of all… you leave the social encounter on a high note. some people will scream for you to play another song. You also need to have a good stage presence. It is important to master the one that comes most naturally to you. you best rock the house. Practice in front of a mirror. If you get up on stage. This same idea can be applied to musical instruments as well. Even throw in a line like "I'd play all night… but that wouldn't be fun for anyone else.Social Superstar want to be social superstars too. Just simply refuse… tell them you don't want to steal the thunder from the party. Just find one of your more talented friends or family members to teach you the song. Anybody with a little patience can spend a few days perfecting one song on the guitar or piano. But you don't have to get really good. Make it the staple of your karaoke choices. with your audience wanting more! The Superstar's Guide to Being Funny There are many different types of humor. You just have to get really good at playing one song. Practice it often. and make you seem just that much more naturally cool. This means that you have to spend a fair amount of time perfecting this one song." You'll come off as modest. You are not to tell anyone about your ability to sing. and record it so that you can listen and fine tune. Video tape yourself and fine tune your body language and how you carry yourself on stage. Sometimes parties will have stray guitars or pianos. and some party goer will wow everyone with his rendition of chop sticks from Big. 69 .

or making an observation on something he's witnessing. And often times you'll find yourself laughing before he's said anything. there is a lot of arguments over whether or not comedy can be taught. He has developed the character of "smart ass. That being said. Without a character." If you think about the funniest performers most of them have at least one memorable character who makes you laugh before he even says anything… because you already know what his reaction will be. and put it out at appropriate times. the easier it will be to infiltrate new social circles. The humor actually flows more from the 70 . People hate bad comedy. you can almost feel what his reaction will be before he makes it. You begin to expect a certain reaction. humor comes much more easily for him. Let's use Vince Vaughn as an example. Because Vince Vaughn has really mastered this character.COM Being funny is not a prerequisite for a social superstar (Being fun to be around is though. A character needs a trademark or point of view that does not change. Think about the people you most enjoy spending time with… more than likely they will be the people that you laugh the most around. Laughing feels good. I do think that if you learn a little bit about humor. or there tends to be a lot of uncomfortable silences after you deliver your lines… stop! You'll have an easier time just being the cool serious guy… then the unfunny jokester. Develop a character "Humor doesn't go into a character is comes out of him. With it." When you're watching one of his movies or listening to him speak in an interview. you can learn to recognize it. Everyone and I mean everyone loves being around someone that consistently makes them laugh. he just has to ask himself what would "a smart ass" say? It is important if you want to be funny that you have a character and that you stick with the character.The Best of TSBMAG. you can get laughs simply be being yourself.) The funnier you are. If you sense that the people around you don't respond to your jokes. When he's responding to a question. While I don't think that spur of the moment jokes can be taught to someone who doesn't naturally think that way. you're simply a recite of jokes. Humor is a polarizing thing… while being funny can make you extremely popular… trying to be funny when you're not can crush your social dreams. Humor cannot be forced or it's uncomfortable.

get a laugh… then leave it. especially if they can tell you're trying to use it to get their approval. Most funny people are not trying to be funny. You can't go into character. Or your characters interaction with another person. If you can get the character down. I was able to make that character work really well. Because once you "nail" the character. It won't work if you approach it tentatively and try it… it will actually backfire. the humor will come with how the character is interacting with the world. No 71 . the straight man The guy who only wants to know what's in it for him A high maintenance chick The ultimate authority and commentator on wussy guys Imitating the women you're with Becoming devil's advocate and promoting bad behavior She needs adult supervision As you can see that by merely immersing yourself in any of these characters.humor will naturally flow out of it. Here are some roles that David DeAngelo recommends trying out or testing… The I'm superior to you character An assumed or fake position of authority The character of the victim of her seduction The cold guy. the interactions. Or your character's interaction with your thoughts. do it for a little while. If you keep trying to see if your audience likes it will probably backfire on you. And they're not seeking approval. They are actually "being" the character. The humor comes from your characters interaction with the world. My whole character was the arrogant-what's in it for me.jerk." I based the humor off of Vince Vaughn. then all of the funny stuff starts taking care of itself. You will probably find that they have a standard character that they have become.Social Superstar character. and responses than from the jokes. For many years I developed the character of "daddy. The character is where 90% of the humor flows from. Think about the funniest people you know. In order to make this concept work you must believe it and act congruently. The ones David DeAngelo mentioned above are particularly good for dealing with women.

I'm not a firm believer that books can teach you how to be funny. or playing in a blues band on weekends." Best recourses to learn humor Watching standup comedy. This 6 CD set will leave you with more material than you can begin to use. the well situated power investment banker. But they can teach you the underlying principles of what makes people laugh. Cocky comedy is the best type of humor for attracting women. It is easy to fall into this trap when building an image. Read Books. Pay attention to his delivery. Also pay attention to the connections he makes.The Best of TSBMAG. Some of the comedians you might want to study are Bill Burr. lots of technical gadgets like a Blackberry. and a whole lot of excess cash? Well. It lets you observe the power of delivery and timing.are you picturing formal suits and furrowed forehead? Long hours. that’s a good start for a character. Louie CK. but a social superstar needs to transcend a type. Some guys need to understand things at a greater level before implementing something. Watching Movies. exhibiting only one facet: the alpha jock.COM matter what character you choose." Cocky Comedy Course: David DeAngelo's cocky comedy course is a brilliant way to learn the art of cocky comedy. 72 . This allows you to observe the reactions of those around you. But your best bet is to head out often to the local theatre or club and watch some standup comedy live. Have Contradictory Character Traits No one is less compelling than a person in life who acts like a million other characters you’ve encountered. because people love to classify people into types. and how people react to them. and you'll begin thinking like him. For instance. If this is your type… maybe you can make yourself interesting by doing volunteer work with the humane society. And they’ll likely try to push you along into one. I've found that watching Vince Vaughn movies really helped me develop my sarcastic sense of humor. Learn to see the world through his eyes. If you're one of those guys pick up the book "Comedy Writing Secrets. allowing funny sarcastic lines to flow out of you. the brainiac. you have to know fundamental people skills so that you are "liked. the tortured musician.

television. The dedicated business man had a thousand dollar a week coke habit. explore the specific and unique details that will make you more complex. These contrasts provide endless opportunity to make yourself more complex. story. not a type but a real person. our experiences. They slowly reveal things about themselves that keep us wondering what we will find out next. The three dimensional ones. The most interesting characters in movies.Social Superstar These sorts of distinctions make you different from any other person that might fall into this type. and our memories. They make us feel as if we’ve missed something all along. each of our bundles distinctively different from anyone else’s. They make us want to know more. And there is nothing in life that peaks interest more than a swerve just when we thought we had something or someone all figured out. The innocent girl had sex with a stranger. and then the seducer blind sides the target with an action. He does this by leading his target in one direction. People love being swerved when they least expect it. not be spotting contrasts like stop signs along the road. We all carry with us histories. The alpha male fucked a guy. The ones that intrigue us most don’t come off as stereotypes or clichés. they seep into your being. There is nothing in life that kills interest more than predictability. other times greatly conflicting. When you build an image. And that feeling is invigorating. The best contrasts are so seamlessly sewn with your characterization that they’re not easy to spot. These are all contradictions of character. And they fascinate us. The responsible teacher has fucked a hooker. A fascinating element of human nature is that we all possess contrasting traits. A great seducer does the same thing. 73 . ADVANCED: use with caution The Dirty Little Secret People love surprises. This means the nice guy admits he got rough with his last girlfriend. or fact about themselves that is completely contradictory to the image they have put forward thus far. To understand more. letting the target feel like they have him all figured out. or books are those who possess depth. sometimes subtle. Your observer should experience the tension. It is a completely refreshing change of pace.

and then you drop the bomb. He says of all the girls he told not one stopped seeing him. nor do anything other socially unacceptable behavior. He was now taboo. You have to build rapport with your target. They are dangerous. By introducing danger to your target you will make them feel alive. it had just begun. It makes us feel alive. He was dangerous. They had known him for years as a nice. But suddenly he was a little more complex. But in their mind they were captivated by him. But it was enough to bruise her eye.COM By nature we want what we are not supposed to have. easy going guys. He also happened to have a fuse that would occasionally go off. Little did he know. The fact that they shouldn’t do it only made them want to do it more. they all though they had him figured out. He was one of the most laid back. And you wait until that point where you sense they feel they have you figured out. And in the end desire always wins out over reason. They got into a fight and he hit her just once. I’m sure if you did deep enough into your past you can find something you’ve done that is a little taboo. What I am saying though is don’t hide what is there. although not proud of the indecent. His ex girlfriend learned it a year into the relationship. or fuck a minor. laid back guy. Sure when they talked about him to their friends they acted as if they disapproved of him.The Best of TSBMAG. I was friendly with many of the girls there and talked open and honestly about my sexual experiences. prostitutes. He was socially unacceptable. you could ever meet. I am not saying to go out and hit your girlfriend. Now at the right moment you have to disclose this information. He literally had girls throwing themselves at him. So by the time the story had come out. How many of our fantasies involve our teachers. She proceeded to tell everyone in arm’s length about what happened. And they will surrender to you for it. My friend didn’t have to do all of this because all of these girls knew him previously. and have her end the relationship. My friend. lesbians. virtuous characteristics. and minors? These people are taboo. single moms. I had a friend back in college. where he would lose his temper completely. They are frowned upon. I had a job in a restaurant once. I told 74 . My friend thought is social life was over on campus. friend’s girlfriends. But danger is seductive. You have to allow them to see all of your positive. continues years later to tell the story of that relationship to girls he meets. cousins. Not many people knew this side of him. But the girls didn’t care.

What would your personality be like if you weren’t governed by all of these fears? If you take a look at the short list of our major fears… you’ll find that not one of them is life threatening. This is 75 . Although the charge was bullshit. our fear of making a mistake. How ridiculous does that sound when you really think about it? 90% of the decisions that you make are influenced by your need for approval. Creating a little bit of an edge for yourself will work wonders for your sex appeal. Feel the fear. The dirty little secret is a great way to make you more desirable to a girl. In fact. and we’re not even afraid of the consequences of the wrong decision… We are afraid of what people will say about us… what people will think about us.my friend still found it morally necessary to tell every girl he was with afterwards about the charge right before he would sleep with them for the first time. This is especially true if you are a naturally nice wholesome guy. Live a fearless existence. Most people are insecure.Social Superstar them about my love of Asian massage parlors. our fear of ruining our reputation. because bad boys provide an adrenaline rush that the average guy does not. none. Appear Fearless You’re fearless. I have a friend with an assault charge on his record. How refreshing is it when we meet someone who isn’t controlled by these fears? Women are attracted to bad boys. How many stopped him. our fear of going broke. Most of our fears are completely unwarranted. most of our major fears are solely based on what thoughts someone else will have about us. You guessed it. our fear of being laughed at. Most fear stems from our need for approval. We are held back by our fear of losing our job. Did it stop me from fucking half the waitresses there? Hell no. Most of us are working a job we hate. Most people are held back by various forms of fear. In the average guy. then do it anyway. our fear of rejection. lonely or in a shitty relationship. Most people suffer some form of anxiety disorder. have given up our dreams… because we are afraid of making the wrong decision. And not one of them ever even made me where a condom. a woman sees a reflection of most of her fears and insecurities. If you want to stand out in a crowd.

I am going to repeat a challenge that I laid out to you during our 31 Days to Better Game series last July. public speaking. airplanes… and the list goes on. fighting for civil rights. 76 .COM why the average guy becomes her friend. some people are scared of social gatherings.The Best of TSBMAG. Appearing fearless is really the objective. no one is inherently fearless. the heroes. Chances are you probably suffer from quite a few of those fears yourself. and do it anyway. and collective. heights. While it may seem difficult to "be fearless" it is not nearly as difficult to appear fearless. he never showed eve one ounce of fear. If you do. or bedding Marilyn Monroe. Because they can sit and talk and wallow in their fears and insecurities together. confrontation. depriving themselves of true happiness. He realizes that short of death or serious injury… life goes on after 99. the ocean. Some people are terrified of death. Most human beings go through their daily existence terrified. poverty. The bad boy makes her forget all about her fears and insecurities. He takes her into his fearless existence. What was so iconic about a person like John F Kennedy was that he always appeared so cool. relationships. cold calling. cold approaching. no matter what the situation was. They find these characters exhilarating because they can't figure out how they can be so fearless.9% of the situations you enter into. Whether the president was fending off missile crisis. terrorism. The difference is that the bad boys. People like their heroes and superstars to possess the traits and characteristics they most wish they had themselves. this might just be the hardest advice you will ever receive: You need to feel the fear. But the fact is. natural disasters. calm. A Superstar does not confine himself to these fears. and the superstars of this world… overcome their fears in the face of the public. What is a fearless existence? A fearless existence is one that is not governed by the illogical fears that most people hang onto their entire life.

trivial reason is holding you back. An extremely effective way to break through your fears is to tackle a really big one immediately. They'll go home trying to figure out what happened in the conversation. they will continue to try to interpret and explain you. or how you appear. tell someone who has pissed you off to “fuck off. 77 . As long as you put up a guard by carefully controlling what you reveal. the more likely you are to say something foolish. If you have a fear of public speaking… go to a Toastmaster's meeting and give a five minute speech to a group of strangers.Social Superstar Live the next two days of your life completely fearless. and they'll quickly try to fill the silence by nervously jumping in with comments that reveal valuable information about them and their weaknesses. and the more time they spend pondering. Even if you are saying something banal. open-ended. say what you feel like saying. After the two days you can go back to worrying about what people think. Human beings are curious creatures. and sphinxlike. Say Less Than Necessary The 4th Law of Power states: When you are trying to impress people with words. the more common you appear. You get my point. the more interesting you will appear. Do you want to call out of work and go the beach? Do it! Do you want to tell the counter girl at the bank that she’s sexy as hell? Do it! Do you want to finally change the style of your haircut? Jump out a plane? Get a tattoo? Have sex with a stranger? Do whatever the fuck you want! Whenever the fuck you want! Do this for just 2 days and experience the thrill of being fearless.” do exactly what you want to do. You can often gain the control in a conversation by merely giving short answers and long pauses…simply because it will put the other person on the defensive. or whatever other insignificant. They find it necessary to know what you are thinking. the more you say. Just for the next two days. and the less in control. approach who you feel like approaching. If you have a fear of flying… parachute out of an airplane. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less. The more you say. it will seem original if you make it vague.

I've long figured out that the less you say to a girl. or something that could be used against you. And far from interesting.COM Saying less in a conversation also helps you avoid saying something that will make you look foolish.The Best of TSBMAG." but you've just given away your greatest bargaining tool. as everything you've worked for could be ruined by one night of diarrhea of the mouth. If you have a low tolerance for alcohol. 78 . This is especially important when you are out drinking. Shyness is not interesting. If you don't make it a habit of controlling the words that come out of your mouth. I've been accused of being heartless. I know because I used to be one. Yes. This is not noble… it is vain and reeks of self centeredness. but it can also be dangerous for placing yourself into a corner later on. They look for other people to guide them and show them direction. you may be tempted to blurt out "I love you. the consequences will linger on long after the pleasure has subsided. This also relates to a lot of the advice I give out regarding expressing your feelings toward a girl. there is a difference from being shy. In the heat of the moment. Once she knows how deeply you feel… the interest begins to diminish. This simple concept intrigues people. Do not take this as an excuse to be shy or introverted. or not out for love… but the truth is. the more value she's invested in you. I used to spend way too much time thinking about what other people were thinking about me. you will wind up with a habit of letting your mouth write checks you can't cash. shyness is a sign of insecurity. The more time she spends trying to figure you out. If you want to be a social superstar you must not let others goad you into saying something that you will come to regret. Not the social superstar. Once words are out. Know Where You're Going Most people wander through life aimlessly. The social superstar lives on his own terms and knows exactly what he wants out of life. Revealing too much not only serves to diminish the interest people have in you. be sure to watch your consumption. I always recommend saying the bare minimum. As much satisfaction you might get from an uncontrolled outburst. This means you also must learn to handle your temper under pressure or when angry. and carefully choosing your words. the more interesting you appear to her. They can't believe that he actually has it all figured out. In fact. you cannot take them back. Shy people like to think of themselves as noble… but in fact they are the most self indulgent people there are.

. If you've chosen join the fire department. be completely confident with your decision and act as if that was the ONLY logical decision you could have made based on your belief system. This is one of the reasons we are fascinated by athletes. People are amazed by people who live with a sense of purpose. If you claim that it is going to be a great time… make it a great time. They're just not cool enough to notice. restaurant. It is difficult for the common person to comprehend that a human being as dedicated his whole life to a sport. Always seem one hundred percent confident in your choice of what you're doing with you leisure time. If he is there… then IT IS the coolest place you could possibly be. If he is there. Maybe this quiet hole. Don't be like the masses seeking approval before they do anything. a nice quiet place to chill with some cool peeps. Could you ask for anything better?" People like to have other people make up their mind for them. This idea of "knowing where you're going" doesn't just apply to choosing a major in college. is must be cool. or picking a career. where you want to go?" This typical answer must not ever slip out the social superstar's mouth.Social Superstar If you want to capture people's attention. most people will reply. and is always confident in his decision. Each and every one of your actions should appear to be done completely by your own accord. That is the mentality you need to have. they need you to point it out. It applies to everyday situations. appear to have an inner knowing guiding your actions. If you're at a bar and its pretty empty. you're there right? And you're the most interesting person these people know. Instead of complaining that no one is there. The social superstar always knows where he wants to go. "I don't know. After all. Once you decide where you're headed… do not second guess yourself.. When asked what bar. If you're convincing enough they'll begin to feel that you're right. or movie they want to go to. or suggesting other places… try saying something like "This is exactly what I needed tonight. If you walked into a bar and Brad Pitt was chilling there you would automatically assume that you found the happening spot.in -the -wall bar does have some special quality. right? Even if the place is completely dead… he must know something special about if that the rest of us don't if he is hanging out there. 79 . Think about it.

They will try to create situations in which you falter. You were human." Do you see where I'm going? Never appear too perfect As humans. motivated. Certain people have a way of making you feel small through their brilliance. While you want to be interesting. secretly we were jealous and almost wanted him to slip up. Don' hate yourself for it. we absolutely hate feeling inferior to someone. You don't want to make the people around you feel mediocre. passionate. We've all had that friend who was almost too perfect. Sometimes that is not enough though. He just couldn't seem to do wrong.COM I had a friend in college who was the master of this. Your rise to the top must seem gradual and expected.The Best of TSBMAG. In a later chapter. 80 . or victory… it tends to create immense envy amongst your former peers. No matter what situation you were in with him you couldn't help but enjoy yourself. and other people absolutely adored him. Do not be that person. Although on the outside we praised him. we talk about the time and the place to "be excellent. But you want to avoid being the guy who creates those feelings in people. Even if you and him just sat in a bar drinking alone… when asked the next day he would be like "me and Bobby just had this really cool night bullshitting for hours in this hole in the wall bar… we got hammered and shared some hilarious stories. If you begin to inspire too much envy in people they will subconsciously want to ruin you. After awhile we even found our self "accidently" saying things that might get him in trouble. You can avoid being this guy by not talking too much about your accomplishments. and persistent… you don't want to inspire too much envy from people. success. Sometimes you have to hide some of your skills in certain situations. And he would always talk up his experiences to other people later on. Even if you are great at something… it is not always necessary to display your talents. When someone gets an unexpected promotion. He would talk up the occasion and make you truly feel that he was genuinely pleased to be hanging with you no matter where you were or what you were doing." It is also important as you make your climb to social superstar that you don't make a sudden improvement in fortune.

Joe will never let you down. Don’t lecture… LEAD. Someone always will. Don’t Avoid the Risk Why was Braveheart so fucking cool? Because even though his legend would have been sealed had he never stepped foot on another battlefield… he went out there with his men each and every time. When you’ve been assigned the role of leader… it’s easy to take advantage of the people below you… but that will ultimately lead to them losing respect for you. Create a Winning Group Culture Why is Derek Jeter adored… and Arod hated? Because Jeter is seen as a leader who looks out for his team’s best interest… and Arod is seen as a self serving asshole. not Responsibility No one wants to be told what to do… but everyone loves to tell other people what to do. If you’re planning out Prom Weekend. If you and your buddies find yourself at a college party… be the guy who immediately fits in. Vinnie Chase wants to do everything in his power to make his friends successful too? 4. 2. 3. 5. Have you noticed how in the show Entourage. Delegate Authority. People can only suppress jealousy and envy for so long before it explodes. Know Your Competition Someone is always aiming for your top spot. Lead by Example It’s easy for anyone to tell someone how cool they are… You need to show them. Don’t ever talk about how many girls you can pull… just pull them. If you’re on the football team and everyone else on the team is too hungover for Saturday’s game… be the guy still scoring the touchdowns… because you switched to water midway through the night. instead of telling Joe he’s in charge of renting out the hotel and buying the beer… Tell him you trust him to find the right guy to rent the hotel and buy the beer.Social Superstar Other tips for being cool 1. If you’re going to be the leader of a group… it should be a group that wins. It is crucial that you’re 81 . You’ve got to pinpoint who that guy is as quickly as possible and be prepared for the moment he turns against you. Pump up everyone in the group… get everyone to succeed. EVER.

hidden affairs. and an entire other lot of topics that had previously been unheard of to discuss. and we begin to crave this person's presence. and a girlfriend that was already occupying most of my time. While people are usually taken back at first. so I tended to naturally talk about it. threesomes. Soon this tame crowd was openly discussing the use of vibrators. At my command I would have girls hooking up with each other. by nature. I found myself spending more time with these people. I brought my frank sex talk with me. I became almost a guru to them.COM ready for that explosion. When it happens… sit back and smile.The Best of TSBMAG. know how to use their sexuality as a key ingredient to their rise in stardom. I remember a few years back. politicians like Bill Clinton and John F Kennedy. The Taboo and getting people comfortable talking about sex The biggest social superstars. and simultaneously getting dumped by my girlfriend. 82 . For the first year working there. I had been working in a restaurant for about a year. Very few people give them this opportunity so it automatically puts you in an advantageous position. and better yet. For this reason. the individual who his comfortable. and romance novels. I also found these people incredible tame for my taste. makes us feel comfortable with our sexuality is a refreshing change of pace. knowing that you’ve already covered all your bases. soon they are opening up to me with their explicit thoughts. Most people. This leads to a population of people who hunger for their fix of sexuality through pornography. Well. orgies (yes I will tell this story one day) and countless one night stands. This is something that I've always been extremely good at. Which gave me an unbelievable amount of power. after graduating college. random games of truth or dare. try to suppress their sexual needs and desires. I've never viewed sex as something dirty or to be ashamed of. explicit chat rooms. I didn't socialize much with this group as I had a huge scene at college. They looked to me to tell them was alright to discuss and admit to. and openness to admit explicit details of my life without blinking an eye.

This is an art form. as that will only label you a dirty hippie. you will wind up looking like a sex crazed pervert. There were no games behind it anymore. Almost as if you're more evolved towards it then others. You need to come off as having a maturity towards sex beyond your years. This is similar to the movement that went on in the 1960's with the hippies. you create an environment where everyone feels free to indulge in it. Although I don't suggest taking the "free love" approach. You don't want to come off as the horny college guy who can't stop talking about sex. 83 . If done wrongly. And not something that you should assume you have the skills to do right off the bat. By creating an environment where sex is not a taboo subject. sex became just another every day activity. You have to be comfortable talking about it because it is such a natural part of your life that you would not be able to understand otherwise.Social Superstar By creating an environment where everyone was able to let their guard down and feel confident expressing their desires. On many occasions I would sleep with more than one girl in a night… with both of them well aware of what was going on.

The third weapon of influence you must use to build your fan base is the weapon of reciprocation. This is why it is necessary to use specific psychological techniques that will mentally bind them to sticking with you. Your Plan: 84 . Once someone decides that they like you it will be much easier to use the other weapons of persuasion and influence on them.The Best of TSBMAG. But a crucial element to becoming a social superstar is to be liked and adored. This is perhaps the most powerful of all the weapons.COM Chapter 7: Cultivate a fan base (commitment + liking + reciprocation) Your Objective: The objective of the following chapter is to teach you how to develop a legion of people who worship you. This weapon simply states that human beings feel a mental obligation to repay favors done for them. and reciprocation. People's attention's spans often waiver. The three most important weapons of persuasion and influence for building a fan base are commitment. The following section will teach you exactly how to get people to like you. If you want to have people following you it is important that you first get them to like you. The previous chapters have given you the tools necessary to be the type of guy who people want to be around. liking. The second step in building a fan base is to get them to commit to the idea of following your lead. Your communication skills need to be honed to near perfection. They quickly get sucked back into their own day to day existence. In the following section I am going to show you how use the power of reciprocation to get legions of people looking for ways to help you achieve superstardom.

The majority of romances occur in the workplace. as will your "social proof. And b y dividing your time between several scenes the "scarcity" effect will multiply. and commitment) are so powerful that if you can master them the world will be handed to you on a silver spoon. You also tend to start picturing them naked. It’s a fact of life. earn more money.Social Superstar This next section will get you further in life than any of the previous sections. and live a more exciting and rewarding life than 98% of the population." In the previous section on "hobbies" I gave you some tips for finding way to immerse yourself into new hobbies. It is also important to be a member of several social scenes because it allows you to play them against each other for jealousy effect. If you follow the communication techniques laid out throughout the rest of this section you will make more friends. date more women. Even if you currently have a social scene that you are active in I believe it is important that you know how to find new scenes when the time comes. These three weapons of influence (liking. Part Time Jobs Most romances don’t occur between two people who meet at a bar or club. 85 . It makes sense. When you’re spending 4 to 8 hours a day with the same group of people you tend to get close to them. But I also understand that there are some people reading this who will need some guidance into how to go about finding the groups of people that they want to hang out with. reciprocation. In this short section I want to list some more ways find people with common interests. How to Get Involved in Scenes Most of this book was written with the presumption that you already have a social scene that you can climb to the top of and command.

The girls that will work there will more than likely be the hipster intelligent type. Remember these jobs not only open you up to meeting co-workers and customers… but you also get introduced into the social scenes of all the friends you make at your new job.If you are going to get a job in a tanning salon you want to make sure it is one of the bigger chains with lots of beds. These girls may seem kind of nerdy… but they are wild in bed. If you’re in high school I would probably recommend a job in a supermarket for meeting women. Everyone was hooking up. and you will only have a minute or two to interact with customers each time they come in. There won’t be as many co-workers to choose from. This means you will have up.Barnes and Noble is best for the guy who genuinely likes to read and discuss books. There will be many female customers 86 . those of you still waiting to find your life calling. And I mean everyone… from the 16 year old cashiers to the 55 year old Seafood Dept.COM I learned this lesson my junior year of high school when I took a job at Shop Right. This means you will have a chance to build rapport over time. or those of you just looking to supplement your income with a second job. But once you graduate high school the quality of girls your age working in a supermarket will greatly diminish. A tanning salon is best for someone with a fairly good level of game.The Best of TSBMAG. I wasn’t working there for more than two weeks before I realized that the employees looked at the place like it was a giant night club. Chances are they will all be girls. The benefit is that most likely it will be a small staff of 2 or 3 people working.close and personal time with any cute chick working there. You want to work in a salon that has at least 5-10 other people working there. All the customers will be girls as well. These are jobs for those of you still in college. Young girls. managers. The 5 Best Part Time Jobs for Meeting Women Tanning Salon. I've put together a list of some of the best jobs to meet women at. And most of the customers will be repeat customers coming in weekly. Barnes and Noble.

The cafe will offer the best opportunity for flirting with customers. If you’re working there for awhile you’ll become aware of the girls that work in Hollister a few stores down… the girls who work the counters in the food court… and the girls selling bra and panties in Victoria Secret. single moms. A lot. The only drawback of a watering job is that there is very little chance of scoring with customers. The best part of waiting tables is that it is almost customary to have a drink with your co-workers when your shift ends… and we all know… one drinks turns into three or four. Hotties with a lot of 19 year old friends. Not only will your store have hotties employed in it… but so will every other store in the mall. Your game needs to be good… but not great. to enjoy the fruits of your labor.This job is for those of you under twenty one. If at all possible go for a position in the cafe. And it is perfect for you. The customer base will largely be young girls. It’s an instant social scene. What makes waiting tables better than the other three jobs on this list? Alcohol. and the barely legal high school hostesses. You’re game doesn’t have to be good to work the restaurant scene. Get a job at chain restaurant like Fridays or Houlihans and you will instantly be engulfed in a social scene of 10-20 other likeminded college students looking to get paid. And I ask… Is there a better age group to be adored by? I think not. If you establish yourself as the fun party guy you’ll soon be adored by all the Just Graduated High School Hotts.Can you say social scene in a box? That is what waiting tables is. Waiting Tables in a Restaurant. get drunk. You’ll work with a mix of college hotties. 87 . If you get a job in a store like The Gap you are bound to be working with adorable little 19 year old hotties. Retail Store in a Mall. If you’re half way social and present your best self… you’ll get laid.Social Superstar roaming the store… but it will be hard to spend a good amount of time hitting on them without pissing off your manager. The mall is a Mecca of female talent. and get laid. Barnes and Noble won’t offer as many hotties working there… but you will have a great opportunity to interact with those who do.

Working as a bartender in a hip place says “I know important people. Point blank… bartending is a power job.meetup. You will have your pick of the customers. 21 Ways to Expand Your Social Scene 1. 5. You get the best of all worlds. The trick to making friends at these kinds of things is to start right away. You will be raking in the cash. 2.com Join the Toastmasters Take dancing lessons Join a volunteer organization .COM Bartending in a Hip Bar. You will be banging your co-workers. The first day you show up at any of these events start talking to people. and they drink! It’s not easy to land a good bartending job at a cool place. 11. The longer you wait to break the ice… the harder it will get. But that’s part of the power in achieving it. 88 Join a young professionals organization Take a yoga or meditation class Get a part time job waiting tables Join a bowling league Join a volley ball league Attend alumni events at your previous college Attend a weekly class at your gym Check out the various clubs at www. 6. Don’t ask me why… but bartenders rank up there with cops for scoring the most ass.This is the Pinnacle of part time jobs. Don’t start with the intention of making new friends or finding a girlfriend… just make friendly conversation.The Best of TSBMAG. 10. 7. easy. 3. 9. Of course everything on this list requires you to be social and open to meeting people. 4.” Other Ways to Expand Your Social Scene I just wanted to give you a quick list of ways you can immediately expand you social scene. What makes bartending so great is that your co-workers and clientele are likely to be just the kind of girls you’re looking for… hot. 8.

get a part time internship in a field you love (even if it's for free) 20. Teach a class on a subject you love (art. Whatever your passion is find a way to immerse yourself with people who share your interest 16. photography. 89 . classes. Revive the old band and start looking for gigs at local bars 15. guitar) 14. Scour the computer for local events. How to be liked I want to start this section off with a basic list. Use Myspace and Facebook to network (as opposed to hit on girls) 13. The key to this is to find activities that truly interest you and inspire you. Attend any networking event your job puts on (and network) 18. that you should copy on a piece of paper and keep this list in your wallet along with your list of the six weapons of influence. This list contains 13 characteristics of a likeable person. seminars 21. written by Sebastian Drake. I highly recommend that you read Dale Carnegie's How to Win Friends and Influence People. Help with a political campaign (perfect timing) 19. computers. Join a softball league 17.Social Superstar 12. GET OUT OF YOUR HOUSE Those are just some of the many ways you can immediately begin to meet new people and expand your social scene. Being around people that share your interests will not only make new friends available to you… new potential girlfriends… but it will also help you grow as a person and get you closer to achieving your dreams. In addition to this list. When you combine these 13 characteristics with the specific techniques I am going to lay out in the rest of the section you will have the blueprint for building a fan base. If you implement all 13 of these characteristics to your daily life you will find that people will instantly want to be around you more.

Closely related to the above point. Look from your right eye to the right eye of the person you're talking to. and what interests them the most.likable people know this. give them a high five.People who are at ease. "But that's enough about me . Sometimes you will not feel in the mood to smile -however. Touch . confident. and more emotion and affection can be expressed through touch than any number of words ever could. almost hypnotic. A quick tip: Right eye to right eye. People love to talk about their experiences and cool things they've done . and happy tend to smile. some "pound". a playful punch on the arm or a big hug. an easy way to adjust is to say. If you catch yourself rambling for a while. 3. Likable people and high status people do not talk too much.Maintaining eye contact when you talk to someone draws them deep into conversation with you .You'll consistently see magnetic people reach out and touch others.COM 13 Characteristics of likeable People 1.the rest of the world slows down. Smiling shows that you're pleased to see someone which can be really flattering.Likable people typically are more curious to get to know other people and don't talk about themselves as much. Next time someone does or says something you really like. This strikes a great balance between good eye contact and not staring. smile a big smile. and encourage others to talk about what they really enjoy. 4. If you want to change one thing to come across more social. 2. Not talking too much . they'll actually like you more. It shows a calm confidence in what they are saying and it makes them even more engaging. if you choose to smile anyway you'll still get the great results.what about you?" 90 . Smiling . and you both become quite important to each other. Likable people are always looking to find out more about the other person. Not talking about yourself . Humans crave physical contact with others. 5. Touching shows emotion and affection and brings you closer to other people.when you become more curious and encourage them to speak more. Instead they encourage others to talk and to open up. Eye contact . what they are doing.The Best of TSBMAG. and that smile puts people at ease. Most people don't feel heard .

The most impressive people never actively try to impress people. If you can reach out to understand another person. you'll instantly form a great connection with them. I really appreciate that you did that." "I thought that was really cool how you did that.Making people feel understood. Showing praise and appreciation . Empathy ." 9. instead try saying just "I understand. and you're with them.Social Superstar 6. you might get a funny reaction at first. People want to know that they are not alone in the world. and will only give this feedback rarely (because likable people understand that praise is a much better way to help people change than even constructive feedback. They want to feel understood. people get used to feeling empowered around you. Never criticizing.Likable people never criticize others. 7. most people do not tell others about their problems in order to get 91 . Over 90% of the time. Next time someone tells you something heavy that you could have a long discussion on. and striving to truly understand them is powerful. 10. Not trying to impress . people know the solutions to their own problems. and empowered. letting them know you understand. As crazy as it sounds. Not trying to fix other peoples' problems . If they ask what you'd do. ever. 8. People universally hate criticism. No big deal. praising. cared about. for any reason .Somewhat accomplished people want everyone to know about the accomplishments they've made. let them know. If people aren't used to you opening up. Really amazing people are much more humble and low key about what they've done. and criticizing is almost always useless). Tell them you believe in them and you think they'll sort it out. "Hey. When you do mention something you really like." You'll be amazed at how uplifting it can make other people feel. Once you've established that you're constantly on the lookout for great things in others.When someone tells you they have a problem. no long talk. but doesn't explicitly ask for your help. If someone brings a minor problem to you. that means they do not want you to tell them how to solve it. keep it casual. and appreciating constantly. and hate people that criticize them.Whenever you see anything you like in another person. The result is that a man trying to impress communicates that he's not impressive. Everyone wants to be understood. try listening. Just. nodding. maybe make a quick suggestion but don't drive the point really hard. Likable people always start off with genuine praise and appreciation before trying to give constructive feedback.

and refrain from showing being fazed or flustered. or accept that it's there. Not talking about things you dislike is even more important. I've also recommended reading How to Win Friends and Influence People. You'll see quick improvements right away. activist groups you disagree with. pick a couple more and start implementing. You probably already do a lot of those .Everyone feels down from time to time. 12. Especially never being down on culture-wide things outside of your direct control: So. Never complain . 11. empathy. People start to respect you more.The Best of TSBMAG. 13.When people complain. The most important thing that you will find is that once you implement everything you've learned in the previous section you will find it very easy to make friends. fashions you think are silly. pop culture. they want understanding. People are very strong and quite good at solving their own problems when believed in. If you don't like something. you have two choices: Take action to fix it. instead. and long term improvements down the line. and reassurance. The more you stay composed. and they feel they can rely on you. there's no reason to complain. they're a fort of strength for people around them. others feel slightly less inclined to be around them. Never impose weakness on others . The most charismatic people never "impose" that down feeling on others. and so on. Eliminate negativity . 92 . Being positive is really good. When you realize that. Making Friends In the section below I am going to outline some steps for acquiring female friends. It brings people down. The steps outlined can be used just as effective for making friends with other men who will make suitable wingman. or just good buddies. the more you gain control over your life.for a bonus. not complaining about the government.COM solutions.Never mentioning anything you don't like.

In order to do this you must eliminate all desire you have to sleep with her. I burned a lot of good bridges doing this. Think about it. For a long time I made the mistake of sleeping with cool girls. you friendship is never at an even playing field. DJs. Because they were likely aware of your true intention. and getting put in the friend zone. This is because the man who controls the women… is the man everyone wants to be around. knowing full well that I had no interest in taking the relationship any further.Social Superstar The Art of Acquiring Female Friends The importance acquiring female friends has been stressed many times on TSB and throughout the dating advice industry by nearly every coach. Your intention was to date or sleep with them. Whatever social scene you are currently involved in. Guys new to studying dating and pick up will probably find this advice contradictory to the never ending battle against getting placed in the friend zone. simply because I could. This is why it makes much more sense for you to put girls in the friend zone. But there is an important distinction between making friends with girls. I instead made friends with these girls. Later. actors. we can't have them all. I would occasionally sleep with them too. As guys. bartenders seem to always have power? It is because these guys are always surrounded by women. most adored woman in that scene. But the fact is. The girl will always hold a subconscious power over you. Men know that hanging around these guys will lead to more girls in their lives. But by this point I was a social superstar so it was acceptable. Why do club owners. Women know that hanging around these guys equals excitement and privilege. The social superstar knows that the easiest way to climb to the top of the food chain is by having female cheerleaders cheering on your every move. we are trained to want every pretty girl we come across. 93 . When you get put in the friend zone your intention wasn't to be friends. as my skills progressed. Sure. Women often make the man. And you will more than likely forever pine for your opportunity to finally bust through the barrier of friendship.you should make an effort to befriend the hottest.

The easiest way to make someone feel important is to really pay attention when they are talking to you.if she's complaining about her current job. Once you figure out how she views herself.COM You must accept right now that you will never sleep with her. and special. 2. but by paying attention you'll be able to ask her things later. These things devalue you. Remember details of her life. compliments. and adventurous guy. This way you can discover what her true interests and passions are.The Best of TSBMAG. Once you've acquired this information. they always need fireman. did you see (insert movie) cause I always trust your opinion on what's good. take mental notes of what she is telling you. If you've followed the guidelines throughout this manuscript than you've already established yourself as a funny. For instance. if during a conversation she makes a joke about having wanted to be a fireman when she was little. in a conversation down the road. The social proof she provides you with gives you the ability to become a superstar. This social proof gives you the ability to befriend her. Instead you will be giving her appreciation." By doing this you're demonstrating that you see her as having an expertise in something other 94 . She is merely a pawn in your chess game.you can use it to win her over. No one can resist these things. You aren't going to give them gifts. Appreciation mixed with adventure and excitement. understood.say something like. Appreciation simply means recognizes the unique qualities in her."Well. or favors." She won't have expected you to remember that minute detail of a previous conversation… and when you do she'll really appreciate you. You've already developed a strong degree of social proof. Confidential tricks for winning her over 1. Once you've completely eliminated your desire to sleep with this woman. Your goal is not to flatter her. Instead of waiting for your chance to talk. For instance. if you can tell that she believes she is very knowledgeable about movies… say something like "hey. Don't be obnoxious or creepy about it. interesting. making friends with her should be relatively easy. but to make her feel important. The most important thing to do if you want to win someone over is to give them something. play to that.

but tell her she can't tell anyone. 4. taken on the attitude of the winner. If the two of you are involved in a social scene together you can pick another person in that scene and share a bit of information with her about that person. Don't hesitate to say anything you would around your male friends. Get her to experience something completely outside her comfort zone. Be 100% completely yourself. For instance. 5. Completely drop your guard around her.she'll become addicted to the thrill you provide. Make it ridiculously unbelievable. and give off a 10 second impression of a superstar. 95 . For more information on acquiring female friends listen to our podcast on the subject at: http://www.greatseducer. I got the entire staff. and associate the rewarding and exciting feeling with you. make inside references to that little piece of knowledge. This means that the communication skills you are learning in this section are dependent on you having already created your image.but don't go out of your way to hide them. began to make yourself more interesting.Social Superstar than looking pretty. Don't stress your faults or blunders. or beta qualities. 3. Everything you have learned in this manuscript will work in synergy. She'll always be questioning you about whether or not it's true.com/2006/12/04/podcast-1/ Communication The way in which you communicate with them men and women in your social group will go along way toward building your fan base. It is important that you've already completed the above listed steps so that you will be accepted by your peers as being a "higher status" male. that the realness you display around her will be refreshing. Develop an inside joke with her. Now whenever this person is around. after a work Christmas party one year. And make her have a good time doing it. Most guys put on such a front around her.and soon the mere sight of this person will make her wish you were around to share in the humor. Most girls want to believe deep down inside that they're more than their looks. The communication skills you are learning in this chapter do not work nearly as well if you are looked at as having lesser status. but play it up very well.to head over to a strip bar with me.women included. If you can get her to do something outside of her comfort zone.

But if a woman of exceptional beauty tells you that she likes your new haircut you begin to feel proud of the haircut. People do not appreciate or respect praise or admiration that comes from someone they view as being "lower" than them. People will assume that he is being nice because he wants something from you. Now that was an extreme example because of the examples of the two different classes of women. The law of reciprocation is the most powerful of all the weapons of influence. I love the shirt you're wearing.The Best of TSBMAG. or a gift… we do not feel a sense of completion until we reciprocate the gesture. people are greatly moved by admiration that comes to them from someone they view as being "higher status" then them. A beautiful woman can pick and choose who she compliments. When someone gives us something of value.you feel a sense of "liking" toward that beautiful woman. Even though it is an unconscious feeling. When a man "lower" than you on the social ladder compliments you or does you a favor you feel no special bond toward him.and her choosing to compliment you makes you feel special. But this theory holds just as true when applied to men who you view as having different social value. On the other hand. whether it is a compliment. It is a simple concept. a favor. This is because a lower status male will be viewed as having an agenda. That bond is the feeling of the need to reciprocate. the need to unburden one's self of it is so powerful that a person often acts immediately to restore the balance." People can't have the weight of reciprocation hanging over them. If a fat girl tells you that she likes your new haircut you immediately assume that she has an agenda behind it. A woman will say to another woman "I really like you earrings" and immediately the other woman will say "Thank you. 96 .COM A lower status man who follows the principles laid out in a book like "How to Win Friends and Influence People" will come across as insincere or "try hard". This is why you will so often hear two people complimenting each other within seconds. But when a man who you view as being "higher" up the social ladder than you does you a favor or compliments you there an unconscious bond that you feel toward him. And you secretly resent the fat girl for thinking that she has a chance with you simply by complimenting you. You remember that compliment. You don't accept the praise as genuine.and more importantly.

Here is the kicker…. prestige. However. we are above thousands of other websites and blogs. number of visitors. As editor of TSB Magazine I recognize the "world" in which we reside in.but to return it in a much greater magnitude than we originally gave it in. When TSB is mentioned or receives a link from a site like Maxim or Playboy we recognize that a genuine favor was produced. blogs.because we recognize that imbalance between our two spheres of influence. and influence. The Law of Reciprocation and Higher Status This is the fundamental concept that you need to build your fan base: When a higher status person gives something away to a lower status person. Before I explain the ways in which to apply this in the social world. 97 . If a site like Maxim mentions us just once and provides one link to us.we will get back what we've given exponentially. The hierarchy in our world is based on reputation. websites. I want to briefly show an example of how this works in the business or marketing world. and authors. or Men's Health. We recognize that as being fairly new TSB is below sites magazines like Maxim. The same rule applies just as strongly to role reciprocation plays in the social hierarchy.Social Superstar While it is only possible to gain the feeling of "liking" when a higher status person compliments you or does you a favor. providing four or five links to their site. But the level in which we reciprocate back is tenfold when we feel the person who gave us something is of higher value to us. We also feel a strong sense of the need to reciprocate. This world includes all of the other men's online magazines. We are also greatly aware of the hierarchy and where we fit in within in. or gift. We feel an immediate sense of liking toward that site for recognizing our unique talent. The weight of reciprocation will be so strong on their back that they will feel the need to not only return the favor.we will go out of our way to mention them four or five times. If we (the higher status) person give something to anyone that is lower status then us.they will get back what they gave exponentially. Playboy. compliment. The sense of reciprocation is felt in any situation in which one person provides another with a favor.

This is very similar to the saying "the rich get richer. and adventurous.greatseducer. This is what will make them commit to seeing you achieve social superstardom. They will feel that they are a part of it. you are able to multiply that currency. You don't want the people around you to feel like an idle spectator in your show. and to demonstrate the skills that they have. We did a podcast called "Being the badboy with women" awhile back.the easiest way for you to acquire fun and excitement is to provide it to others. Be Fun to Be Around The entire reason you should even want to become a social superstar is for the fun and excitement it will provide you." Remember: Everything we give we will get back exponentially. and therefore. Well. Some of the key ideas include: be funny. This is what will cause them to put some investment into it. http://www. Although you should be introducing things like adventure. As you read through the next few sections keep this in mind as it will allow you to see the true power in what I am telling you. are along for the ride.COM This is the reason that some people seem to rapidly ascend to the top of the social ladder. Once you have established a little bit of social currency. This means help those around you develop the confidence to explore their sense of humor. humor. The easiest way to be fun to be around is to follow the principles laid out in chapter six. taboo subjects… ultimately your goal is to bring these qualities and characteristics out from those around you. based on the law of reciprocation. 98 . fearless. to indulge in the taboo. talk about the taboo. This podcast includes many ways in which you can add excitement to the lives of those around you.you want them to feel like they are a part of it.The Best of TSBMAG.com/2008/07/13/being-the-bad-boy-withwomen/ The secret to being fun to be around The biggest thing you can do yourself be fun to be around is to make the people you're with feel like they are fun to be around. and have some skills that entertain people. Encourage them to take risks.

Winning the higher status people over requires the skill of becoming the go-to guy for a good time. 80's) Softball games and BBQs S & M clubs Salsa clubs Concerts w/tailgating Bowling nights Road trips Ski trips Beach houses Happy hours (particularly a weekly event like Taco Tuesdays) Paintballing Sky diving excursions Hookah bars Volleyball night (some bars have courts) Strip clubs (bringing women with you) Fairs 99 . 12. 5. Themed parties (toga. 15. tailgating… The events I just listed are things that pretty much everyone enjoys doing. This means organizing things like ski trips. These sorts of events are what will make you unique and separate you from the other higher status males in the group who are content to spend another night at the local pub. paint ball expeditions. 6. concerts. You being the high status male must initiate these sorts of things and get people to follow along with you. 13. 8. Although most high status people are fun to be around. 11. 10. The problem is that no one takes the initiative to set them up.often they are not creative.but no one follows along. themed parties. 14. 3.Social Superstar Be Someone Who Makes Things Happen Lower status people will always be won over much more easily than the higher status people in your social circle. This means that they will most likely hang out at the same couple of bars or clubs every weekend. 4. 7. long road trips. 9. ugly sweater. nights out at unique places like S& M clubs. salsa dancing. Here is a list of things that you should try to organize: 1. 16. Or a lower status person tries to set them up. The social superstar makes things happen. He is a leader who organizes the fun adventures that everyone craves. 2.

You need to store specific details away for later use. Here is a trick for remembering details: 100 ." On the surface she probably laughed… but inside she will be flattered that you remembered such a small detail of something she told you. If you are the guy introducing other people to this whole new world… they will repay you with loyalty and admiration. everyone craves attention and recognition so much it hurts them. Get Interested in Other People I am about to tell you the secret to acquiring and keeping massive amounts of friends. Everyone is the most important person in their own life. There is nothing more flattering to a person than the realization that someone not only listened to them. And days or months later. Monster truck derbies These are just some fun things that most people would enjoy. The sad truth is. Show genuine interest in other people's lives. Because of this very few people actually pay attention to the people around them. but you should be remembering the details of the conversation. This does not mean simply ask them a lot of questions. And the person who supplies them with "drug" of recognition holds a very strong power over them.The Best of TSBMAG. The secret is to continually be curious about other's lives. The secret is to really listen when they talk to you.COM 17. You should not only be listening. you said "I'm sure there are fires you could be putting out. Most people wind up at the same bars or clubs every weekend. but never take the initiative to set up.and be their biggest fan. In fact. and are just silently waiting for their chance to speak. asking a lot of questions of someone may even annoy them. Most people barely listen to the people that they are in conversation with. Remember the example I gave earlier of the woman who casually told you that she wanted to be a fireman when she grew up…. You need to use the information wisely and subtly down the road. but actually remembered obscure details of a conversation. Anybody can ask a lot of questions to fill up the dead air. when she was complaining about her current job.

You can also use this when getting a girl's phone number. then repeat it loud enough for the recorder to pick it up. 101 . They are useful for so many activities. She is a girl that I always thought was pretty cute. but she always had a boyfriend so I never talked much to her during college. you need to go out and get one immediately." Her jaw dropped. Only stalkers know every little detail about someone.Social Superstar Photographic Memory If you don't already own a digital voice recorder. Later when you call. While I am ordering a beer this girl from a sorority I used to part with frequently. Be careful not to seem too creepy by remembering too much. When having conversations with important people you just press record. She was absolutely astonished I knew her name. She'll wonder why you didn't write it down and assume you will forget it. She went on to confess that she had a huge crush on me throughout college. Remember Names I went back for homecoming weekend at my old college last October.) These folders should be reviewed before you go out to interact with these people again. I had been out of school for seven years. but many of my old friends and classmates show up for what is basically a yearly reunion. Later when you go home transfer that file to your computer in a folder with their name (or better yet a code name. and then tell her you'll call her. you can just tell her you have a photographic memory. says "hello" to me. The night before the homecoming game everyone from the Greek system usually meets at this bar called Alexis right down the street from campus. you can use it to demonstrate a photographic memory. Other than using one as a self improvement tool when it comes to perfecting tonality and conversation skills. she says "Do you even know my name?" I looked her straight in the eyes and said "Of course I know your name Kimberly. Ask for her number. You carry the voice recorder along with you in your pocket. After making brief small talk. We spent the rest of the night talking and I arranged a date to hang out. These people will be impressed that you were able to remember things that most people forget. But it is a pleasant surprise and a great conversation hook when you ask them about something they probably assumed you forgot. You can play the previous conversation and pick out important details.

no matter how low down the social ladder the may beaddress them by their name. Making other people feel like superstars is really a culmination of everything we've learned in this chapter.is to openly praise them. Make Other People Feel Like Superstars As you can see by everything leading up to this section. Just think.COM I realized something that night. and fun people you have around you. Use the photographic memory trick if you have to. And if the people you are giving value to are lower on the social ladder than you. And when you see anyone. The lesson to be learned: Remember everyone's name the first time you hear it. But then I realized that I too get happy when a girl I view as having higher status knows my name. Remember that everything you give to others will be reciprocated back to you. It is obvious to you that he is proud of 102 . more interesting. One night you go out with this guy and he hooks up with an attractive woman. And more importantly – the more enjoyable your life becomes. entertaining. They never get tired of hearing it. It is not a competition or a race. You need to look at them as members of your team.you subconsciously believe that they are too important for you. I actually get tingly upon hearing a beautiful woman say it. Human beings love the sound of their own name. You see yourself as such a blip in their reality that they probably don't even know your name. Never worry that someone else will steal your spot light. The cooler.the higher your value becomes. as badly as you want to become a social superstar. Let's say that there is a guy in your social scene that is slightly below you on the social ladder. When you view someone as having higher status than you. At first I was shocked that she would have thought I didn't know her name. compliment them. But the most important part. So the next step is to make these people feel like Superstars. This must be done in public. and give value to them.The Best of TSBMAG.most of these people will have the same desire.the secret to building your fan base is to become the fan of others. And they feel flattered when people remember it. You always want your team to be as strong as possible.they will feel the need to give back to you twice as much as you gave to them.

It should be said like this: "Joe is the man. Not only is there a sense of 103 . There were two girls we both wanted to talk to. You know that Joe is proud of what he did. Bring him into situation where he will be forced to talk to women." If you can get him out of his comfort zone. The praise must be specific. You know that he wants to brag about it. The flattery must be sincere. Get in the habit of being the fan of those around you. now is the time in which that value is paid back to you. By doing things like remembering people's name. This is because he doesn't use concrete examples for his praise. Before I knew. This is your chance to boost him up even further. If you know that Joe is shy around woman. help him to get over it. and turning them into superstars. Last week the two of us were at this bar. He says something like "Joe is the man." Do you see how much more sincere and real it sounds when you back up praise with specific examples. You are a high value person. It took him like five minutes. I say this because we all know that guy who is always seems incredibly fake while boosting up his friends. Let Other People Sell You This is the culmination of all of everything you've been doing.he will forever be in gratitude toward you. You've taken interest in them and have openly praised them. And you've done a nice thing for him. This guy is the coolest guy I know.Social Superstar himself.they will feel an uncontrollable sense of obligation to reciprocate the value. But he can't. praising them.make him seem even cooler than he is. the entire focus of what I have been talking about is how you should be giving value to others. and contribute to him building his self esteem. Think about it.exponentially. showing interest in them. Talk about how "the girl was definitely into you. Not only should you acknowledge to him that you were impressed by what he did… you should brag about it for him to the other people in your social circle. He is the coolest guy I know. Help him by giving him practice. Well. and he's making out with this cute brunette. Up until now. He will love you for it. making them feel important. You should also make it a habit to pull people out of their comfort zone. And later build him up. So you do it for him." This sounds phony.he's macking both of them. Don't lecture him or try to impose "strategies" on him. Tell the story for him.

View it like this. Imagine that you spent a night partying with Brad Pitt.especially your social life. Your name will travel through many social circles. wash. The waiter is there. It turns out that one of his friends has the same interest in rock climbing that you do. Such systems over time become unpredictable. A month later you are at a bar.the higher that they will be able to rise along with you. seemingly insignificant action will have a later effect on your life. Rinse. If you're showing them a good time. Can you see how quickly you can become a social superstar? Can you see how quickly invitations will start pouring your way from various social circles? Can you see how many opportunities will be thrown at you? The Butterfly Effect "The "Butterfly Effect" is the propensity of a system to be sensitive to initial conditions.but it is in their best interest to do so." Your entire life. If you are higher value. causing a tornado or some such weather event to occur in another remote area of the world. The more people talk about you the higher your value becomes. Because these people already know who you are they will be more likely to talk to you.is ruled by the butterfly effect. You 104 . This means that every tiny. These men and women will become an army of publicity agents for you. You are now on "their side. When you show up for a party random people will already know who you are. they will go out of their way to praise you and talk you up to everyone who will listen. this idea gave rise to the notion of a butterfly flapping it's wings in one area of the world. they will be constantly talking about how much fun they had with you. You leave your waiter a larger than normal tip. tonight you walk into a restaurant and have dinner.The Best of TSBMAG.they will want to be associated with you. If you praised them. remembering the large tip you gave him he recognizes you and introduces you to his friends. They will look for every excuse to talk about "the awesome time" you had together. For instance.COM obligation to return the favor. Now imagine that Brad Pitt turned out to be a really cool guy who showed genuine interest in you. and repeat on this new group of people." This means that the stronger and more powerful you become. It will eventually get to the point where your reputation will precede you. How many people do you think you would be telling that story to? Everyone you possibly could.

While at the party. The day before you're about to go rock climbing you leave a comment on his Facebook page telling him "Get ready for some heavy duty climbing tomorrow!" It turns out that a girl you dated several years ago is friends with him on Facebook. She invites you to come to a party with some of her friends. 105 . and befriends you.you meet and fall in love with another girl.Social Superstar befriend the guy on Facebook and set a date to go rock climbing. All because you left a waiter an above average tip. She sees your comment.

COM PART TWO: The Best of TSB Magazine VOL 1.The Best of TSBMAG. 2005-2008 106 .

but you get the point. and intelligent? That you’re the energizer bunny in bed? If you guessed any of these things you’d be wrong for ninety nine percent of the women out there. So I’m going to give you a quick list of things you can do to achieve the perception to a girl you are interested in that you “get laid” and are in demand. I’m not a jealous person. Through Storytelling. “One of the things me and my ex would fight about was the way she responded to the attention she got from men. who was really hot…” That sounds like you’re trying to impress her. 2. what do you think would most make her want to date you? That you’re rich? That you’re packing nine inches? That you’re insanely confident? That you’re talented. co-workers. The point is to have these pictures 107 . They are so unsure of their own opinion that they need to confirm it with the opinion of other women. that you are wanted by other women. If you want to fool a girl into believing any one thing about you it should be. Tell a story about you and a hot chick. passionate. ex girl friends.” You see you never said she was hot… But the girl will assume it. To me that's just obnoxious. I don’t care if these girls are friends. “Me and my ex. In some of the gambits Mystery uses this plays a huge part. That example is a little over the top.Social Superstar 5 Keys to Playing the Role of Being Wanted Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 09/09/2007 If you could make a girl believe one thing about you. But she was like a ham when she noticed guys gawking at her. I wasn’t jealous. The story has to indirectly reference that she was hot. or your cousins. Through Pictures. 1. If they like him “I should like him too” is the thought that goes through their minds. Girls are strange creatures. prostitutes. Take as many pictures of yourself with hot chicks as possible. Never say. Instead say.

and be not at all phased by having to wait to see her. If you’re already scoring hot babes this will just be things you do naturally and in turn will make you score even more babes. “She’s got sexiness. and then quietly put your phone back in your pocket without mentioning it. These are just five things you can begin immediately to present the image to women that you are in demand. If she asks you if you think Jessica Alba is good looking. “I better keep this one before he runs off with one of these girls” 3. but she’s not my type. She won’t ask. Texting is even better. Girls will always assume its other girl’s texting you.The Best of TSBMAG. You can then say “Saturday would work better. 5.” or “How about early next week” Either way she’ll assume that if you can hold off meeting her then you must be used to meeting attractive women. You can pull your phone out. don’t say “she’s hot” it sort of puts you in that category of college guys who read Maxim magazine. Girls by nature love to look at pictures. If she says “You want to get together Friday?” Say “Fridays no good?” Don’t say why.COM lying around your house or even in your car. The key to this is don’t mention the texts and don’t respond to the texts. Instead say. Through Taking Hot Girls off a Pedestal. When she flips through these pictures and sees you with all these girls a message will be delivered to her brain. The rich get richer my friends… 108 . Just read the texts and put the phone away. try to set it up to have many of your friends call your cell phone or text you. read the text. If she asks who keeps texting. just say “a friend” 4. When you’re out with a girl.” The girl will wonder what your type is. And when you can’t hang out don’t give a reason. and if she fits it. Or how “hot” she is. Don’t always be available to hang out. Through Text Messages. Through Unavailability. Never talk about how “hot” another girl is.

Social Superstar 10 Lessons for Successfully Hooking Up with Girls Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 11/07/2007 Fuck an intro! Let’s get right down to it. No later. Don’t waste another second with a dead end lead. if you don’t feel it. That is your fear of failure. The first ten lessons apply in situations where you have yet to kiss the girl. principles immediately in your life. I’d say that is a chance worth taking. and watch the used condom wrappers pile up. Learn it. A way to procrastinate. not after you get a haircut. Because the more time you spend reading this shit. while the guy who took action has his dick between her legs. That leaves 20% for error. That is your way of justifying the fact that you haven’t got the balls to act on a good lead. If you want pussy you better be ready to act on a minutes' notice. And remember. Because second guessing comes from thought. the less fucking you’ll be doing. ‘okay I feel it. The minute you feel your gut saying its time. Lead the conversation in the direction you want it to go in. Unless you are a completely delusional person. not next week. You are probably saying. Take action quickly. 2. Trust your gut. You know when talking to a girl if you are getting a vibe or not. If you feel a vibe. Delay for a second. chances are she does too. Apply these rules. Act on it quickly. 1. flee. or after you have time to plan out some advanced strategy. The biggest mistake you can make is letting a good one slip by because you hesitated or wanted more proof that your gut feeling was right. Intuition is priceless. and you’ll be home again masturbating. With that being said. lessons. I’d say on average your gut feeling is right more that 80%of the time. In grain it. Go with it. Not tomorrow. thought is the cheapest commodity on earth. Those are all excuses to delay. If you start looking for proof you’ll start finding the opposite. Understand it. Read it. or a new job. Re-read it if you fuck up. The sad truth is there are a hundred guys lined up behind you to fuck this one girl. 3. IT IS TIME. now what?’ If you don’t think it is the 109 . Do not give yourself time to second guess.

Her dead aunt. Holding her hand. YOU WILL TALK YOURSELF RIGHT PAST THE MOMENT. you are more than half way there. There are times that you really can’t kiss her right then and there. Chances are you won’t have another opportunity as perfect as you just blew. Brushing hair away from her eyes. Before we can kiss a girl we must make use of our hands. yet. Her last relationship.COM appropriate place or moment to kiss her. Lead her to a better spot. Tell her. 6. Until your lips have touched hers you have shit. It will seem completely appropriate. Rubbing her back. Kiss her already. Let her know your intentions if you must leave without kissing her. lead her to that place. Silence is good if you are at the point where you want to move in for the kiss. This is our way of warning her that it is coming.The Best of TSBMAG. but if you are not at that point then you risk a potentially awkward moment. Yea. Shit. If you let her start rambling on she may wind up talking about something that kills the mood. Compliment things that she can reply to. Don’t try to flatter her with remarks about her eyes. once you get her through the crowd. Throw compliments out there. If you can get her hand in yours. Find a genuinely nice characteristic of hers and let her know you notice it. If your gut was right. Planting seeds is for farmers my friend. in not so many words. A nice trick is to grab her hand when leading her through a crowded place. If at all possible keep holding it. but if you leave without kissing her you are no closer to her pussy then you were yesterday. or how pretty she is. Remember: THE MORE TIME THE TWO OF YOU SPEND TALKING THE HARDER IT WILL BE TO KISS HER. a little longer than necessary. but DO NOT OVER DUE IT. I know it happens. Make sure you keep the conversation light and flirtatious. I’m not talking about molester type shit. Those are clichés and hardly ever get you anywhere. 110 . damn it. The hand is the first step. she will be more than willing to follow. I stressed this point in lesson #3 but it is well worth repeating. That way it is not a complete shock when we lean in for the kiss. Don’t ask. Let her know. it creates a certain amount of intimacy. Shit. Her current boyfriend. If you are in a crowded place tell her to come with you some where more intimate. 4. If this is the case it is vital that you set the terms of your next encounter immediately. You may have had the greatest conversation in the world. Nothing. You tell a girl she is beautiful and there will be silence. I’m talking about making an initial contact. 5. Now make sure the conversation stays where you want it. Holding her hand is the key. If she has on a nice smelling perfume let her know that you’ve noticed.

It will kill your chances for next time. That way if you fail with her. Once you realize that nothing is going to happen tonight. let her leave. Follow lesson #6 while saying goodbye. Don’t act hungry. Don’t leave it up to a phone call. Make plans to see her right then and there. WAITING FOR THE PERFECT MOMENT = ANOTHER NIGHT JERKING OFF. Set a date.Social Superstar that when you see her again you intend on kissing her. Most of the time the girl is just weeding out the weak. you also don’t want to appear desperate. deal with them. Unfortunately you can’t fuck them all. (Hopefully fucking her) Do this by stressing those warning signals I told you about. 10. Don’t be weak. When obstacles appear. 7. or go for the kiss. And I don’t know about you. But do not try to talk her into staying around. 9. There is no perfect moment. That is why once you have decided on the girl. The perfect moment does not exist. Don’t settle for less. let it go. A winner figures out a way to win. hold the hand. Even if you are. Once you have decided. Overcome small obstacles. While you don’t want to lose her to the competition.she’s off the list. ask for the number. There are a million girls in the world. CONFIDENCE IS THE MOST ATTRACTIVE QUALITY YOU CAN DISPLAY TO HER. Be decisive. you don’t give up until you have gotten in her pants or there is a painfully clear rejection. If a girl shoots one of your attempts down and you continue on it shows vast amounts of confidence. a loser gives up that much sooner. I hate making that call. but know who the bitch of the bunch is and go for her 100%. Girls do not like the weak. a place. Make up your mind quickly and stick to that decision firmly. 111 . push the other ones out of your mind for the time being. and I’m sure most of you do to. Always leave with the upper hand. Hold her hand for a second or two longer than normal while saying goodbye. If she has to leave. This is kind of a rehash of the other nine lessons. Do not wait for the perfect moment to strike up a conversation. Tell her that you really want to see her again. Now I’m not saying you can’t talk to other girls and use them as jealousy tools. and a time up. and overcome them. Use your hand. but I am sick and tired of stroking myself to sleep. You will spread yourself to thin if you go for more than one girl at a time. DO NOT BEG FOR IT. 8. The difference between a winner and a loser is. Those who look hungry never get fed. Decide who the lucky lady is for the night and go for her.

Because without it you’re a dreamer. I was the king of content. 112 . When I say rough I mean I went months in between fucks. I will laugh in your face. If I knew I could have her I was okay. Why? Because they require a certain amount of balls that we all have but tend to suppress.COM These are the toughest lessons to master. I took comfort in the knowledge that I knew more than they did. cheap and meaningless. And dreams are like thoughts. you have not proven anything to anyone. Bad.The Best of TSBMAG. As with anything in life. Months! I watched guys not half as good looking. Try and tell me how you can have any girl you want on any given day. I learned these lessons the rough way. SHOW ME THE PUSSY. NO MORE! I will say it again loudly. get more pussy in a week then I did in a year. UNTIL YOUR DICK PENETRATES HER PUSSY YOU HAVE JACK SHIT. And it hurt. It is easier to delay. with half the sense of humor. Until you have that girl naked in your bed begging for your cock to dig inside of her. half the knowledge I had. So fucking what? It is all shit.

Social Superstar

Emulate a Celebrity for Instant Rapport
Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 11/19/2007

This is simple advice. I’ve done it. And I’ve seen other people do it. And it works. It works like a charm. This is best for guys who haven’t yet developed their own personal style and unleashed their own personal inner charisma. People naturally feel most comfortable around people they know. They are also most attracted to people that they see often. This is the reason people often date someone they work with, go to school with, or share mutual friends with. You see these people all the time and they are part of your consciousness. When you see these people out you are drawn to them out of their familiarity. Because they are familiar you feel rapport with them and are attracted to them easier then someone you are seeing for the first time. Follow me so far? This all came much clearer recently in Brazil. I was in a city where I knew no one. The place is filled with beautiful women. It is relatively easy to initiate a conversation with any of the girls down there, as I am a young decent looking foreigner. What I noticed about myself is that I was drawn to the girls that reminded me of girls I knew back home. I was consistently going after the girls that resembled girls from my social circle, not just in appearance but in manner. It wasn’t a conscious decision. But in a land of unfamiliarity these girls were comfortable. They put me at ease. I felt a rapport with them which made me more attracted to them. This got me to thinking. When you’re out and you see someone who looks like someone that you know, don’t you pay a little more attention to them then the other less familiar looking faces? Most people do. It’s natural. We like familiarity. Women are the same way. I’ve found that when a woman I just met tells me that I remind her of someone she knows, she is usually more responsive to me, lets things accelerate quicker, and generally less flaky in future meetings. So the question I had was how I could create this rapport more often. And the answer was to remind women of someone they know more
113

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

often. Since we don’t know anything about most women and the men in their lives, how can we remind them of someone they know? We have to remind them of someone that everyone knows. And who does everyone know? Celebrities! I know a few guys who naturally resemble celebrities (not necessarily traditionally good looking celebrities) and these guys have always had an easy time opening women. Most of the time the women don’t even realize that the guy looks like so and so, but they feel an instant rapport with them. This is because these guys are familiar to women. The women feel like they’ve known them for a long time. They put their guards down. So a quick way to gain instant rapport with women is to emulate a celebrity. Most of us have a celebrity that we resemble in some way. It doesn’t have to be a great looking guy. It can be Tony Soprano for all it matters. It just has to be someone that is part of national consciousness. Once you decide on someone that you physically resemble (it helps if it’s someone that other people have told you) then next step is emulate their mannerisms, their tone of voice, their gestures, facial expressions, and style of dress. I’m not talking about stalker type obsessive shit… I’m just talking about emulating someone. You can rent a few videos of the person you’ve chosen and really watch them. And practice. Practice their walk, their talk, and their mannerisms. You don’t want to make it obvious that you’re trying to look like someone. And the people that know you closely will notice the change and most likely rip on you for it... But when you go out you’ll notice a huge difference in the way you are reacted to. Girls will open up to you much easier. This doesn’t mean you don’t need the game to back it up. But it will open doors that might have otherwise been shut. Try it. See for yourself and let me know the results.

114

Social Superstar

Using an Opinion Opener to Initiate a Conversation
Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 03/01/20089

Last night after the radio show Mike Stoute and I headed over to a local pub for a couple beers. The radio show was quite stressful as there was a shit load of technical difficulties with the transmitter… which messed the phone lines up, and hence, instead of talking to our planned guest we were forced to improvise. It left us feeling drained and just looking to unwind. The both of us already had girls we were going to be meeting later on, so our intentions were solely to chat a little and throw a few beers back. As some of you know, both Mike and I are recently single, and once again experiencing some of the things that make dating such a pain in the ass. Our conversation at the bar turned towards the girls we were going to be meeting later on in the night. Both of us had been dating these girls for a brief period of time and already beginning to experience the “what is this?” or “where is this going?” or “what should I tell my friends we are?” talk. The talk that takes the fun out of casual relationships. Mike and I were telling each other various stories of time’s we’ve been in the situation and how the different girls reacted. We were trying to come up with the “right” way to answer the dreaded “what is this?” question. Although the topic was somewhat serious, we began making a goof of it by coming up with over the top comebacks to the question. “Well, Sally now that you’ve asked… I thought we would spend a few weeks fucking, you know, to keep my dick occupied until something better comes along.” The goofing put us in a better mood and got us laughing a bit. Keen to the fact that there were two fairly attractive girls standing next to us sipping drinks, Mike casually turns to them and says “What's the best way to respond to a girl when she asks ‘what is this’ and you’re not really into her?” The girls were all too eager to jump in with their opinions. The four of us quickly became immersed in conversation. Soon the question became “what do you say when someone tells you ‘I love you’ during sex, and you don’t feel the same way? This got the conversations even livelier and more provocative. Soon the two girls were met by another female
115

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

friend and instantly dragged her into the conversations, introducing us to her as if we were long time acquaintances. After getting a handful of text messages from the girls we were supposed to be meeting later on, we decided to call it an evening and head home. Although both of the girls we were talking to at the bar were attractive, neither of them struck enough interest in Mike or me to ask for numbers. So we said goodbye and left. On the way home I got to thinking how smoothly the whole conversation transpired. It reminded me of another time a few months back when I used an opinion opener that lead to a one night stand. What the two nights had in common, and what I believe made the openers work so smoothly, was the fact that they were legitimate questions that we wanted the answer to. In the Houlihan’s story, Eddy and I were already engrossed in a conversation that was entertaining us, so it was perfectly natural to invite a couple girls into it- to share their opinions. Our energy was real and the girl’s sensed it… which opened them up to take interest in our opinion opener. The same thing happened last night with Mike. Mike and I were legitimately curious to know what a girl wanted to hear from a guy when she asks “what is this?” so the girls we asked were more than willing to commit to the conversation. I think that the biggest mistake guys make when it comes to fully understand how to use an opinion opener is that they don’t realize that they need to have some emotional involvement in the answer. If you’re using canned openers, chances are you are using an opener that someone else had emotional involvement in, and that is why it worked for them, and not for you. When I use the phrase “emotional involvement” it doesn’t mean you need to feel deeply and passionately about the topic, but it does mean that you have to have some level of curiosity and interest. For instance, most people have heard of Neil Strauss’s “80’s pop duo” opener. Neil Strauss found humor in naming dogs after an 80’s pop duo, so when he asked that opener at the very least he was entertained by the idea. Some people are out there using this same opener and weren’t even born in the 80’s and could care less about 80’s pop duos. These people have no emotional involvement in the opener and it will rarely work for
116

Social Superstar

them. If the notion of naming a couple pugs “Hall and Oates” doesn’t make you laugh, how is it supposed to be entertaining to a girl you’re imposing it on? Joseph Mathews wrote one of my favorite books on opening called “The Art of Approaching” but I think the biggest mistake others who buy that book make is that they skip all the great theory and skill building and flip right to the long collection of openers. There is nothing magic in an opener that Mathews created, or Mystery created, or Style or Tyler Durden or Mehow. Those are just openers that happened to work for them. Just like I wrote about Mike’s “what's the best answer” opener, and I’m sure I’ll read in some field report in a few weeks how someone used that as their opener. I think instead of focusing on what Mike said to initiate the conversation last night you should focus on the way the night took place. Mike and I went out to have some good conversation. We were discussing a topic that interested and entertained us. When the point in the conversation called for another opinion we casually turned to the girl’s next to us and asked them a question. Our energy was good, our topic interesting, and everything flowed from there. Now you may not always be in the middle of a great conversation when you want to approach a girl. If that’s the case, instead of using an opener from someone else’s past great conversation, use one from your own. If a couple nights ago you and a few friends were in a heated debate over whether or not American Idol is rigged… then draw upon that conversation for an opener. If you were talking about “who turns out more successful the high school nerds or jocks” then use that as opener. At least you had some emotional involvement in them at one point. And I think if you’re genuinely curious about the answer than you won’t hear that little nagging voice in the back of your head calling you a fraud when you say “Do floss before brushing?”

117

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Being Comfortable Talking Dirty
Written by Michael Stoute Original Published: 02/25/2008

Talking dirty to girls is something that I have struggled with for a long time. It is only now that I feel “pretty” comfortable doing it, still with some hesitancy. I am sure that this comes to some men pretty easily, but it just didn’t to me. There I was, enjoying some great sex when I hear “Tell me how you like fu*king my pus*y” Now don’t get me wrong, I did like fu*king her pus*y, yet I didn’t feel compelled to actually say it to her? Then when I would say it, I felt like I didn’t use a strong enough tone of voice and sounded weird. With all this going on I actually start to lose wood…Great! I couldn’t really understand why I was having this problem. I was confident in all other areas of my game, yet when it came to this I was on new ground. What I realized is that most of the problem had to do with me dating a different breed of woman. A woman who may not be so confident in life, but has ultimate confidence in the bedroom. Girls with more sexual experience than me in some cases… MAN UP These women want someone to take control; hair pulling seems to be as common a missionary these days. Spanking makes me think of booty’s, not babies and giving girls mild titty twister’s (purple nurple) is coming back. The sexual culture is changing and you may be missing it. Women like this don’t just tell you to pull their hair and spank them, you have to know! So how do you know?

118

Social Superstar

You have to build rapport and maintain Kino escalation to test the waters. (Build comfort and get her comfortable with you touching her and vice versa) Then move this forward veeeeerrrrrrryyy slowly. Maybe start while you are talking and touch her arm, and leave it there for like 5-10 seconds. NEVER GROPE! Keep it real calm and relaxed. Later on lean in to talk to her and use touching her leg as an effect in something you are saying. Example: You're telling some story about something and you say. “Then he grabs me and …..” When you say grabs me, grab her leg for a sec, at most until you finish your sentence, then pull away and continue with your story. Later on (if you are still being your cool guy self and are not being creepy) you need to start looking for opportunities to make a comment about her anatomy, I would go for the ass, one because it is the least confrontational and two, because I love ass! With confidence say something like, “You have a really nice looking ass, would you mind if I gave it a little smack?” MAKE SURE YOU HAVE GREAT KINO AND RAPPORT BEFORE ATTEMPTING A BOLD APPROACH LIKE THIS; IT WORKS FOR ME...THAT’S ALL I CAN SAY. Most girls just laugh, some let me smack it on the spot and others make me work for it a little. Either way, it’s a great SOI (statement of intent) that will for sure keep you out of the friend zone. If it does work, you may have just found you next sex tigress!

119

I want inside jokes. or a few days. I want to wonder if you’re going to return my call in a few hours. compliments. Be unpredictable. In the beginning you need to create sexual tension. I think that you'll find doing these same things will keep the girl interested as well. The point of a good date is the continuing escalation of sexual tension. and at least one of your hands in close proximity to my body. don’t find it necessary to flirt. Spend three nights having wild passionate sex with me. Confuse me. and then use the term “friend” to describe me. teasing. Nothing keeps me more interested than a girl I can’t figure out. Do it just enough that I never know what I’m in store for. 1. I want to know that I will easily be able to commingle you and my buddies. 4. You have to do this through a mix of playful banter and gradually increasing the amount of time your hands spend touching parts of my body. Like my friends and get them to like you. After I spend a week waiting for our Friday night date… I want you to call and say “something came up can we do it another night?” Of course I don’t want you do this all the time. I want to sit around and wonder why you’re not answering the phone. I’m shallow and need the complete approval of my friends before I would seriously consider making you my girlfriend. Big mistake. Play with my head. Flirt damn it. your daddy issues.COM 10 Ways a Girl Can Keep a Guy Like Me Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 03/09/2008 This is a list of what it takes for a girl to keep me interested. because then it would become predictable. In the beginning I need to wonder what's going on. 2. nor am I impressed with how smart you are with your political views. but then call me late night and tell me how much you miss me. Tell me you want a relationship. Once you tell me I lose interest. googly eyes. I don’t want to talk about your job. but then never be available to hang out. We are all simply humans. especially the hot ones. 3. Tell me you want your space. And I want my buddies talking about 120 .The Best of TSBMAG. Too many girls.

Seem excited by the prospect of all of us doing something cool together like a camping trip or ski weekend. I won’t let you. In college my goal was to fuck as many girls as possible. I want you to crack a few jokes on me. And I’m a horrible liar so you’ll probably see right through it. 6. So will most other guys. Offer to pay occasionally. your job is to make me feel like I just fucked your brains out harder than any guy you’ve had before. And don’t just say “do you need some money?” Make a sincere effort to pay. Call me out on my bullshit. don’t act like it's my obligation to always pick up the check. Do not belittle me. 8. But I want to believe that I’ve opened up this new sexual side of you that never existed for your other boyfriends. Sure. 5. I’ve achieved that goal. I’m not cheap and would never accept your money in the beginning. Laugh at my failed attempts at show boating. It was my magic dick that unleashed your hidden whore. I’ll humor you and discuss your friend Sally’s relationship with her boyfriend or your brother’s drug problem… but what I really want to be talking about is my interests. 121 . and my hobbies. Make me feel like I’m the best you’ve ever had in bed.Social Superstar “how lucky Bobby is” behind my back. Way too many girls do this and don’t realize it is a real turn off to guys. Challenge me. You’re job in the beginning isn’t to show me how experienced and adventurous in bed you are… there is plenty of time to discover that later. So you better make an attempt to become vaguely interested in them too. I’m going to feed you a lot of bullshit. these are really the only things I truly enjoy talking about. No. I know I’m not your first. and bust my balls from time to time. But don’t be afraid to let me know I can’t get one over on you. Make an honest attempt at getting along with them. my travel. Be genuinely interested in my goals. 7. Point out my short comings if I’m oblivious to them. but damn it. And make me believe that you’ll have no problem with me continuing to hang out with them in the future. but if you don’t chances are I’ll be bitching to my friends about you. so now I’ve set higher long term goals involving my career. Other than the playful banter I spoke about earlier. Call me out on it. Do not try to make me feel small.

So. 122 . I’ll fix it…When you need someone to move a heavy piece of furniture. I’m a busy guy. Just pick up a broom and give me a hand. I can be a downright mess at times. my car is a wreck. Hint at threesome. when you notice that it's been a long time since I’ve changed my sheets… throw them in a basket and head to the laundry mat. I’ll fall for it every time. Hint at an attraction to other girls. When you get a flat tire. Care about my well being more than I do. or maybe an “incident in college” early in our relationship… just enough to give me a glimmer of hope that one day I’ll find myself in bed with you and one of your friends. I’m there. It's not your job to harass me about these things.COM 9. 10. My house is sloppy. and my sink is overflowing with dishes… I know this.The Best of TSBMAG. I’ll hold onto that hope long past the point where there seems to be any realistic chance of it happening.

You can’t lose on the opener.” I tell her. I slack during the winter and then panic come spring when the scale starts tipping in the wrong direction. Instead I take a deep breath and compose myself. Still giving me nothing to work with. She says. “It's just my gym outfit.” “Oh yea?” she says. that allow me to keep decently fit.” My mind is telling me it was a stupid inappropriate moronic way to start a conversation. I want to crawl away. But I am usually able to motivate myself in small bursts. “Never underestimate the power of a gym outfit.. and working out again..Social Superstar Keeping Cool and Plowing On Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 03/11/2008 Every so often I hit that point where the time comes I need to get my ass back in shape. I’m naturally lazy. the more motivated we become and the harder we push ourselves. I’m reading the bodybuilding forums. “See that mirror. 123 . Plow on. so with confidence sky high I turn to the girl on the elliptical trainer next to me and say “that is a really nice color on you.. buying the supplements.” She was wearing this pale blue shirt that really brought out her eyes.. “I read that it's a proven fact that the better we perceive ourselves to look while we’re working out. So I’ve began one of those small bursts of motivation. Tonight at the gym I’m all amped up after downing a super sized Red Bull.” I point at the mirror in front of us. That adrenaline rush usually puts me in a talkative mood. The second after I say it I immediately have that twang of self doubt… like ‘what the fuck did I just say?’ That feeling of doubt is only amplified when she looks at me like I have three heads.

This finally gets the girl laughing and smiling. I look like I just rolled out of bed.The Best of TSBMAG. And the next time I do will be one step closer to rapport. wearing an old beat up t-shirt. That's the way I look at gym game. The best approach is to mingle with a bunch of them. The interaction ends on a positive note. I’m looking really good tonight. I’ll see her again. But they’re confident enough to keep going knowing that girls forgets your “opener” a minute after you say it.COM I’m in the worst shape I’ve been in a couple years. Even naturals struggle with initiating conversations. “For instance. and casually build attraction. 124 . The point of this post is that many times you’ll initiate a conversation and get dead air. I don’t go for a number or even a name. Really really good! And I’m having a great workout!” I over exaggerate my motions on the machine. It's easy to get nervous and go into deer in headlights mode… instead compose yourself. take a deep breath and plow on. If you go to the gym the same time every day. and gym pants with paint stains on them. It is everything afterward that counts. you’re going to see the same girls.

I was talking to them in a way that was taking them out of the moment. My game on girls out of college was solid… but back in the old stomping ground I came across very AFC. I realized a little later that what I was doing wrong was trying to approach these girls in a rational way to spark interest. The best way to keep them in the moment is to talk about them. Or I would try too hard to fit in with the younger college guys to try to conceal my age. These guys usually tend to be surrounded by hot college tail… so it got me thinking about gaming these younger girls. “How do you like living in the dorms?” and then I would go on and tell them a story about my dorm life experience. Not ask them questions that make them dig for answers that take them into their head… but instead to make declarative statements about them… For instance. I would head to a college bar or college party and get no response from the girls I was trying to talk to. I realized it was the way I was hitting on these girls that was fucking it up for me. In Mark Redman’s excellent e-book Conquer Your Campus he talks about how college girls crave the college experience. a line I’ve been using successfully when hanging around college girls is to turn to one of them and say “You’re trouble… There’s always one of you in the group…” and then smile. When I was in college I was a machine. None of this worked. 125 .. What I failed to realize is how self obsessed younger girls tend to be.Social Superstar How to Talk to Younger Women Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 03/14/2008 Tonight I’m heading to hang out with a few college guys that I know. plowing through women (until I met the ex) but after college my skills trailed off in the same environment. You need to keep them in the moment if you want to score with them.. My topics of conversation usually involved questions like. In the tight nit college environment girls tend to be attention whores.

I’ll say something like “That guy over there is upset because he misses his dog” and then I’ll go off the cuff with some humorous reason I observe that. A little mischievous. Make a declarative statement about her..” If that dies down a bit I’ll keep the conversation ‘in the moment’ by pointing at other people standing around us and begin making random statements about them. I’ve even used something as simple as “Trouble. Then you can give her a nickname. Avoid talking about “what is your major?”Or “Back when I was in college…” and don’t try to impress them with the things that tend to impress older girls. Chances are she’s fucking some guy that lives in a dirty frat house eating Ramen noodles every night.The Best of TSBMAG. Not me… why do you think that?” I’ll then usually go into some cold reading “You just have that energy about you. Very playful and fun… The trick is to keep the interaction fun. or how much money you make. My four step plan: 1.COM She’ll usually say “No. Use the environment directly around you as a source of humor 126 . Assign her a nickname to establish rapport 4. A college girl doesn’t care how good your job is. 3. Use a little cold reading to keep interest. 2.” This gets the conversation centered in the moment… Me and her talking about how she appears to me right now..

” We are all horny fucking creatures. Strauss defines caveman as: To directly and aggressively escalate psychical contact. with a consenting woman. I put my finger to her lips to shut her up and then kissed her again. Why going caveman works People. but then lose her by talking myself past the moment. This means they look for others to lead the way and let them know what they are doing is alright. especially girls. predicated on the idea that early human beings did not use intelligence and words but instinct and strength to mate. We all have that side of us that wants to get buck naked and lick each other’s privates… most of us are just 127 . It was like a disease for me. She started to finish her sentence. The first time I did it was on a blind date. I can safely say that putting this idea into action took my game to the next level. When you “go caveman” on a girl your bringing her into your level of animal like attraction. Then one day things got completely easier. In the past I was one of those guys who always waited for the right moment. A friend and his girl set me up with one of her friends.Social Superstar Going Caveman on Women Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 04/02/2008 Neil Strauss brought the term “caveman” into popularity in his book The Game. When you eliminate words and rational behavior. in turn you’re saying “it's okay to act a little irrational. I used to be very guilty of talking myself past a hookup. She was blown away. At the end of the night I kissed her mid sentence. And that was when I began going caveman on women. I would rope the girl in with witty banter and create the attraction. and progress toward sex. You’re letting her feel comfortable expressing her sexual side. That night I created it. Girl after girl in college I lost because of diarrhea of the mouth. Like life changing easier. And since then I’ve done it that way. I don’t know what provoked me to do that. have “make up my mind for me” syndrome.

She would push me back. Instead of going into conversation about some stupid topic I started teasing her by gently pushing her away from me on the couch. Later that night. If you’re looking to further escalate the encounter you need to ask yourself ‘what would a caveman do?’ Would he smell her hair? Would he bite her neck? Run his hands down her spine? Once you go caveman you can’t go back When you go into caveman mode it has to be for real. Another night I went out with a group of friends. No words were said. If I had apologized or went back to talking things would have been weird… instead I put my finger to her mouth… shut her up and then kissed her again… After that she spent the night. She was testing me. Unleash her hidden cavewomen. Going caveman means you stop talking and get physical. What would a caveman do? When things are going well and you’re in a private place with a girl… things can go one of two ways. When we meet someone that allows us to act that way it is really liberating. At this point she is already attracted to you so you can either further emotionally or intellectually stimulate her… or you can sexually stimulate her.COM trained not to act that way. There was a girl Nancy that was with us who I had been flirting with on and off for a month. and then I pin her down and kiss her. You can’t test it and then back peddle.The Best of TSBMAG. her and her friends came back to my house for the after party. (This does not mean take advantage of her or intrude if she says stop) It means get her on your level. When I kissed that girl mid sentence… she says “what was that” slightly snotty. That is cave manning!!! 128 . This was our first night hanging out though. Next thing I know we’re wrestling on my living room floor. She pins me down.

blonde California Hot never made it back to AFC. he had a right to be scared because a few minutes later the Irish guitar player called a couple of the girls from her group up to the stage to sing along with the chorus of “American Pie. She was pretty drunk and was really anyone’s game. Here is where AFC blew it hard… and what I’m warning you against. Well. If I noticed 129 . You could tell by the way he had his arm wrapped tightly around her in a “mine” sort of way that he was scared shitless of letting go in fear that his miracle score would disappear. but it negatively affects you to every other girl in the place. She was drunk and kept getting side tracked chatting with everyone in the place. I will have more about the trip when I come back in a couple days. At this Irish Pub I was at last night in Cabarete some standard AFC scooped up a drunken blonde. But luck had it that she chose him to do body shots with. and noticed something last night at a bar that I wanted to address. and stick her tongue down his throat. but right now I wanted to talk about how you should compose yourself when a girl you’re hitting on in a bar walks away. Not only does it negatively affect you with the girl you’ve been working.” Well. AFC stood there alone with a sour puss on his face repeatedly glancing at her across the bar waiting for her to return. dance against. Now. finally settling on some other guy across the bar. he looked like a needy. whiny bitch…. He basically stopped talking to anyone around him and just sipped his drink looking miserable. and even if she had originally wanted to return back to him. do you think he’s making it tempting for her to return to him? Hell no.Social Superstar ever Show Emotion When She Walks Away Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 06/01/2008 I’m currently down in the DR scouting out villas for our upcoming Mansformation Retreat. the way he carried himself after she left sealed his fate for the worse. depressed.

how many other people noticed the same thing? When a girl you’ve been hitting on leaves. AFC last night blew his whole night after losing one Hot. Forget about her until she comes back… and if she doesn’t come back.The Best of TSBMAG. and she leaves. or other people around you. whether it be to take a piss.COM how miserable he looked. 130 . at least now you’ll be in a position to tackle other girls. say hi to a friend. don’t make it obvious to everyone in the bar how happy you are to be talking to her… I’ve seen guys giving each other hi fives like a bunch of middle schoolers after scoring a number. if you’re talking to a hottie. On the same note. flirting with other girls standing next to you. You’re safest bet is to engage yourself in conversation with the friends you came with. and just genuinely having a good time. Because you can be sure that the girl will peak over at you and you want to give her a reason to come back. By acting like a sad little puppy when she leaves you’re killing your chance she’ll be back. or fuck another dude in the bathroom… you best play it extremely cool. Go back to talking with your friends. You also want to keep her curiosity hooked on whether or not she has you.

And it definitely won’t increase your chances of sticking your wilie in the girl again…but there are ways to prevent it. a project at work. I’d say pretty much everyone reading this (who’s had sex) has had the misfortune of blowing their load a tad bit too early. but it also has the disadvantage of taking you out of the moment… As much as you want to stare down at her watching yourself go inside and out. The slow breaths will calm you down and let the urge to climax pass. Use this time to let the blood rush away from the head of your dick. 4. 131 . 3. If you feel yourself building up for an orgasm too quickly. It’s frustrating and embarrassing no doubt. For me. 2. This one can work wonders. or your grandmother. Squeeze the glands at the top of the penis. pull out for a couple minutes and switch to some foreplay. big head at the top of the penis to delay it.Social Superstar 5 Tips for Lasting Longer in Bed Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 06/24/2008 Raise your hand if you’ve ever been a three pump chump. Relax for a few minutes and when you feel its safe… go back to work. I know that I have trouble finishing when I’m doing a girl doggy style. Find out what position you tend to have trouble finishing with and switch to that position whenever you feel like you’re going to finish too early. If you feel yourself about to orgasm early you and your partner can squeeze the smooth. 5. Squeeze it firmly until the urge to orgasm passes. Don’t wait too long to make the squeeze or you’ll wind up splurging in your hand. it will help your cause if you close your eyes and daydream for a couple minutes. Use breathing patterns to prolong ejaculation. The most common way of trying to delay orgasm is to take your mind out of the moment and focus on something completely non sexual… like doing your laundry. Switch positions to one your less likely to climax with. I’ve never met a girl who bitched that you suddenly had the urge to eat her out. 1. It's best to take slow long breaths if you feel yourself getting too turned on.

132 .COM I hope that these tips will help you from prematurely ejaculating.The Best of TSBMAG. you only get one chance to make a first impression. Remember.

Some girls only cum on top… other girls get off doggie. others slow and soft… some girls like massive foreplay… Others like their clothes ripped right off. All of those things definitely won’t hurt you… But they still won’t necessarily make you better in bed. Recently I was quite frustrated with a girl I was dating because I couldn’t get her off with oral sex. The key line to this statement is that you have to pay attention to what works on each and every particular woman you’re with. The best lover is attentive and knows how to read the clues she’s giving you. Sure. I’ve found there is only one secret for becoming a better lover. she would tense up tremendously and push her pelvis out to make the pressure of my nose greater.Social Superstar How to Get Better in Bed Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 06/30/2008 Some people will tell you that the secret to getting better in bed is practice. lasting longer. The first few times with this girl it was driving me crazy. The minute I realized what she was reacting to I went right along with it. I’ve never had that problem before. the basics don’t change… but some girls like it hard and fast. I noticed that every time my nose would press against her clit while going down on her. Needless to say she went from being indifferent to oral… to begging me for it. The woman that you’re sleeping with will give you all the clues you need… you just have to be ready to read them. The secret is to simply pay better attention to what is working and what isn’t on a particular woman. Other people say that improving your stamina. Practice will get your sexual confidence up… but it won’t necessarily get you better in bed. or adding more foreplay will make you a better lover. The reason this is so important is because every woman enjoys being pleased differently. and be willing to make the adjustments. I searched my repertoire for all the things that worked on the previous girls… and she wasn’t responding to any of them. 133 . Finally about a month in. Sometimes she’ll verbally tell you what she likes… but most of the time you’ll have to watch how her body reacts.

Everyone kisses differently. The most common things to look out for are the intensity of the grunts and moans she is making. or fear of killing the mood. most girls want to tell you what is working and what isn’t. But they won’t tell you out of fear of hurting your feelings. or I begin the foreplay in any room but the bedroom. and mimic them. push herself toward you. When she is enjoying something she’ll usually tense up. What you have to realize is that just because they’re not going to open up their mouth and say “Bobby I really like when you stick a pinky in my ass. When she particularly fancies something you can be sure she’ll let out an extra special moan in hopes you catch on. blinds up. You also want to be paying attention to the psychological factors influencing how turned on she is getting. Sure.COM I’ve had many girls tell me that I’m the most amazing kisser they’ve ever experienced.) The fact is. and spreading my legs over my head…” doesn’t mean they won’t be trying to telling you in every other conceivable way. or pull you closer. 134 . This is not because I have some special technique… it’s because I adjust to their particular style of kissing. She’ll do everything possible to prevent you from suddenly stopping or changing positions. while groping my right tit. The key is to be extremely observant and act upon the giving stimulus. When I sense a girl has this fetish… I’ll make sure I leave a door open. If you notice that a girl gets super wet and turned on when you whisper dirty commands in her ears… keep on doing it (but don’t overdo it and let it loose its affect. you can try to change her style to match yours. You should also watch out for her body language. This goes for all areas of foreplay and sex.The Best of TSBMAG. But if you want that first kiss to be memorable you’ll quickly note the actions of her lips and tongue. fear of embarrassment. Some girls are wildly turned on by the idea of being caught.

Social Superstar Having Trouble Getting Hard? Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 08/04/2008 This is a post I’ve been meaning to write for awhile. I didn’t lose my virginity until my freshman year at college. I was surprisingly competent at making out. We were having marathon foreplay sessions where I would expand so big I felt I could burst… 135 . I knew that physically there was nothing wrong with me… I mean. But the minute I had a girl willing to come back to my place… I would lose all feeling down there. and at the same time. We took it slow in the bedroom and soon I was functioning full strength during make out sessions. There was this exhilarating sense of accomplishment. She was a virgin too. Have you ever found yourself with a girl. things are escalating towards intimacy… and absolutely nothing is going on down there? Or you manage to finally get an erection… only to quickly lose it as you attempt to slide the condom on? If you haven’t already experienced these situations… chances are you will at some point in your life. That night was the beginning of my journey on a long and bumpy road to sexual competency. I sure have. and I have to thank my blogger friend Evil Woobie for pushing me to finally write it. She fumbled around for a minute before I embarrassingly brought her hand back up to my chest and continued kissing her like nothing happened. I was completely limp. I wound up in a relationship with a girl from my math class. I still remember the first night I brought a girl back to my dorm room. Because of this I felt apprehensive about hooking up with girls as I imagined them all to be much more experienced than me. this paralyzing fear of inadequacy. I didn’t realize exactly how wrong until she reached her hand down my pants. and unhooked her bra with the skill of a pro… but something was noticeably wrong. I was jerking off twice a day… hard as a rock.

2. Mainly because I feared going for the homerun… only to fail. My girlfriend went on the pill… so all was well. It most often happened in experiences where there was a built up pressure involved. After we broke up I entered the hell of erectile dysfunction all over again.COM But then the night came when she decided she was ready to give me her virginity.) fat girls. Alcohol in large doses made me lose all sensitivity down there. My next few attempts ended the same way. girls I didn’t want to sleep. girls I wasn’t supposed to sleep with. This meant that if I could make it past the first few mishaps with a girl… it would be smooth sailing from there on out. 3. It wasn’t until one morning when she climbed on top of me… slid me inside her and starting bouncing up and down… that I finally was able to maintain an erection. The girls I had the best sex with were the ones I felt no pressure to perform well… i. Alcohol in small doses helped the problem. By this time I was tearing it up with the girls on my campus. When we finally got to my place I was a nervous wreck. I never got around to putting a condom on. 4. What I learned about my experience with limp dick 1. 136 . 5. The more time I had to prepare for the sexual encounter… the more anxiety I felt. The less comfortable I was with the girl… the less chance of success in the bedroom. Of course.e.The Best of TSBMAG. We went out to dinner. But I was very rarely closing the deal with them. And the more anxiety I felt… the less chance I would get or maintain an erection. I managed to fondle myself in the bathroom enough to get it up… but when she handed me a condom to place on my boss… I fizzled away. The entire time my mind was racing with anxiety over how well I would perform at something I’ve waited 18 years to attempt. For the rest of our relationship I never wore a condom because I saw it as Kryptonite to my erection. I found it almost impossible to put on a condom without losing or at least greatly diminishing my erection. and then a movie.

For the first time I felt there wasn’t just something fundamentally wrong with me. The next biggest breakthrough came with using visualizations. If a girl started to reach down there and I wasn’t hard. I would pull her hand away and just pretend that I was teasing her to build anticipation. If there was still nothing going on down there… I would eat her pussy and call it a night. That is my biggest inspiration for writing the article.” What I did know was that my sexual confidence was completely down the toilet for awhile there. to let anyone going through this know… it isn’t just you. 137 . Man Power. Visualizations are a powerful tool that can be used for achieving any goal… but for me. Other times I would blame it on “just getting out of a relationship. Road to Recovery The biggest break through that I had was one day opening up to my friends about my problem. Some of them were even experiencing it as regularly as me. Whenever I was on a date with a girl I would start letting the anxiety take over and imagining the pain and embarrassment I would feel if I couldn’t get it up. I took Yohimbe. Herbal supplements don’t work. Ginseng. I realized that much of the cause of the problem was me visualizing the worst possible outcome.” Other times I would blame it on being “stressed out over finals”.Social Superstar 6. Once I was armed with the knowledge that other guys have gone through this too… I became a lot less nervous about the situation. and just about every other over the counter supplement… and none of them made a damn difference. I was amazed to find that pretty much all of them had experienced the problem before. Sometimes I would blame it on being “too drunk. overcoming erectile dysfunction was where I saw the most distinct result. Horny Goat Weed. How I Handled the Problem when it occurred If I didn’t avoid sex completely with a girl… I would prolong it as long as possible with massive amounts of foreplay.

A few years after college I began dating this girl who refused to sleep with me raw dog. I was hard as a rock. I would attempt to wear them on occasion.” And I believed her. but my performance was less than stellar as my penis was only barely hard. I’ve worn them consistently since her and never once lost my erection putting one on. I would imagine myself hard as a rock jamming her to the point of pain. Since then my mind did a 180 degree turn in regards to condoms. because it was the best sex of my life too. I made her come multiple times. I would hold the vision of this unbelievable sex in mind and it was like a fortress blocking out the anxiety. Oddly enough… with all the girls I slept with I never once had a girl force me to wear a condom. I fucked her all over her house.The Best of TSBMAG. but if I felt myself shrinking… I would chuck it aside. I don’t kid myself to believe it will never happen again. The hardest obstacle to overcome was my aversion to condoms.COM I changed my internal visualizations. The mind naturally attracts what we focus on the most. Instead change your focus to the mind blowing sex you intend to have. We had the most mind blowing sex of my life. My first time using a condom with her I managed. fucked for like four hours straight. but could not cum. Soon I found that I was actually going home and having the sex I was imagining. Conclusion It’s been many years since I’ve faced the embarrassment of an episode. Repeat the image of yourself performing competently over and over in your mind. If for some reason I still lost my hard on I stopped beating myself up over it. When we finally finished she said “that was by far the best sex of my life. 138 . I began viewing them as a tool to last longer in bed. It’s part of being a man. An odd thing happened the next time we had sex. Whenever I started to feel anxiety creep in… I would start imaging having the wildest hottest sex imaginable with the girl. I would tell myself “it happens” and then begin looking forward to my next opportunity to sleep with the girl. We honest to god. If you’re going through the problem right now the best advice I can give you is to stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen.

Social Superstar If the problem still arises don’t put too much emphasis on it. Do any of you have any tips for guys who might be facing this problem? 139 . and get back on the horse. Look at it like a stumbling block.

it lets her know she can relax around you and feel comfortable and secure. This search for strength is the single most important reason why she tests you. You thought you would get points for being “co-operative” a “helpful”. or sooner. this is important. the feeling that someone is stronger than they are. The other factor is ambivalence. How hungry you are for her attention (remember: those who look hungry. Why She Tests You: The Search for Strength and Certainty Look: one of the primary things that women are looking for from a man is security. I’d like to talk about how you can pass those tests. but why don’t you call me late Friday afternoon and I’ll let you know for sure?” 140 . If you’ve ever been dumped for being “too nice”. or what I call the “make up my mind for me” syndrome. Whatever her reasons. or there’s some unseen competitor who she’s waiting to hear from. the sad reality is that often a woman just isn’t that interested in you one way or another. 2. and how to do some testing of your own.biz There’s a common saying in street fighting that 95% of all real fights wind up in a clinch and go to the ground. I don’t know. and instead you just got the fuzzy end of the lollipop. a woman will test you by the second date. you can tell this is happening when you hear something like “Uh…well. Just how much control she can exert over you and/or the relationship. In this issue.COM Wimps into Winners Written by Ross Jeffries Original Reprinted: 03/07/2007 Originally newsletter from: http://speedseduction.The Best of TSBMAG. time and again. You see. never get fed) 3. If you’ll take her bullshit. But I will say this: 95% of the time. Maybe you aren’t exactly the physical type she goes for. when you set rules and boundaries for her to follow. I’d like to go out with you Friday. Believe me. it’s because you haven’t learned to recognize when you’re being tested or just haven’t yet learned how to respond properly. “let’s just be friends”. to see: 1. When you put a woman in her place. Could that really be true? Frankly. or have been told. maybe she just got burned in a bad relationship.

every silly test of hers is just an unprecedented opportunity for you to establish respect. Taken from this perspective. AH. as part of an attack is just a convenient target to be destroyed. Notice I’m not saying you can’t or shouldn’t get a little pissed. before we go on to some specific scenarios. they flake on commitments that occur during the peak of the overwhelm. great Bruce Lee that basically says that any weapon thrust your way. Just don’t go nuts with a stream of obscenities. when you are in bed with her. … IT’S GOT TO COME FROM THE RIGHT PLACE IN YOU!!! In other words. You have to come from the calm. a woman’s bullshit and tests are great opportunities to establish respect and dramatically increase her interest in you. good buddy. “But you promised!” won’t cut it. there’s a concept from Jeet Kun Do. How to Handle It…Dealing from a Position of Strength To get back to street fighting analogies. since you know it’s your chance to get her really hot for you!!!! Now. is just an unprecedented opportunity to… KICK THE OTHER GUY’S ASS!!!! Just so. In other words. and may even find yourself actually looking forward to her trying to pull shit. Whining stuff like. “Oh no… why is she doing this? What did I do wrong?” from now on will be…. but firm 141 . instead of being. your response to these tests. when overwhelmed. increase her interest. there is the fact that sometimes. an attack. All he’s doing is showing he can’t control himself and he just earns the woman’s contempt. modern women just get overwhelmed with eighty billion things they are trying to do at once. and intensify her desire to please you. (Streams of obscenities are for afterwards. Coming from this perspective. HAH! A RESPECT OPPORTUNITY!!! Look: your attitude has to be that every rude piece of behavior. you’ll be mentally prepared. And. “How could you do this to me?” or. rather than something to be feared. the macho idiot who loses control and trashes the place when his girlfriend comes home ten minutes late is definitely not the example to follow. the fighting style of the late.) The other thing that doesn’t work is acting like a hurt little boy. let me add one other thing: when you do put her in her place.Social Superstar Finally. No.

and that always gets attention. This is an attitude that will move you forward in any area that’s challenging you.COM “take it or leave it” position. You have my number. and I’m going to leave it up to you. This is all part of displaying the critically important… WILLINGNESS TO WALK AWAY FROM HER!!! You see. then where is that tension of knowing she could lose you? Answer: Nowhere! And that’s why you get nowhere when you put up with this kind of stuff! If you’ve seen an initially hot relationship grow ice-cold. say this one: You: Look. that you are the person of value. Just be as matter of fact and non-hostile as you can. you’re embedding a command that she really does want to go out with you. Now. if you don’t call it’s going to be a loss 142 . “Well. this is one big reason!!! Ok. Will this work? Very often it does. Her response is ambivalent. point blank. I’d like to but. It’s not what she’s expecting. in any area of your life. What if she still hesitates? Well.The Best of TSBMAG. Finally. something like. forever and ever devotion to her. why don’t you call me later in the week and….” Here’s your response: “Let me ask you a question. and they had better take advantage of the opportunity. Understatement works best with this one. Scenario one: You call to ask her out for the first time. By way of contrast. and put up with her crap and ambivalence. On to some scenarios. it conveys the message that you are the prize to be pursued. I’ve come to the conclusion that a woman can only experience real passion for you if on some level she believes she could do something to lose you! Understand that when you show this willingness to walk away. after years of experience and study. And you know. if you show a non-stop. And you’re also suggesting she’s stupid if she doesn’t grab this opportunity. Is going out with me something you can take or leave or is it something that you’re smart enough that you really want to do that?” Then shut the hell up and listen for her answer. what are you doing here? You’re calling her on her ambivalence and letting her know you don’t have time to be put on hold.

I am against the use or threat of the use of violence or force against ANY human being. I am NOT talking about or in any way suggesting or condoning physical violence with a woman. if someone makes a commitment to me. In fact. my friend. Got it? If you can live with that rule. I expect them to keep it. Ok? Bye. I guess with some people. that it’ll be a loss for you as well. sayonara! Then. If they can’t keep it. but man does it work well!!! In fact. Just say NOTHING!!!) Her: Hello? Are you there? What’s wrong? You: What’s wrong is I can’t believe the bullshit I’m hearing. she’ll probably call back with five minutes and apologize and ask you out!!! I’m not kidding here. but maybe what you won’t realize until after you hang up is. It throws some kind of switch in their heads. I can’t make this too clear. you don’t really get their attention until… You Give Them A Swift Kick In The Ass!! Please note I’m speaking of an attitude.Social Superstar for me. (I’ve heard every excuse in the book. I’m talking about using your mind. jaded bitches go to giggly little girls. Scenario Two: She calls and cancels at the last minute without offering to do it again at some specific time. this may sound extreme. from “My parakeet is sick” to “I’ve got to shampoo the rug”. NOT your fists. My rule is. unless there is an imminent threat of violence against yourself or a loved one. HANG UP!! Now. You: (dead silence for as long as it takes for her to talk again. I’ve seen the hardest. Seriously) Her: I can’t make it. I’ve got a rare tropical disease that’s causing me to shrink by the hour. Her: What????? You: Look…you made a commitment to spend time with me and now you’re blowing me off. great…if not. eager to please me when I’ve done this. I need to know at least a day in advance so I can make other plans. 143 . You’re disrespecting me and disrespecting my time and I’m NOT going to put up with it.

unable to say anything!) YOU: Don’t ever keep me waiting like this again. Piece and peace. but I expect the same. Walk a middle ground of strength. The point is this: when women throw this stuff your way. you want to do the unexpected. Ross 144 . or lets you in and then proceeds to talk on the phone for at least that long while totally ignoring you. Wait for her to finish. Don’t put up with it. ok? I’ll always treat you respectfully.The Best of TSBMAG. like a “nice guy” and don’t lose your temper like a jerk. doesn’t it? ‘Til next time. Do you understand me? HER: Uh…uh…yes. self-control AND self-respect. or are you just accidentally acting clueless? HER: (mouth dropping open in shock. And that certainly beats a poke in the eye. and as soon as she does say something like this: YOU: Can I ask you a question? HER: Sure. and these tests will become opportunities to power her straight into your bed. YOU: Are you being intentionally rude to test me.COM Scenario Three: You go to pick her up at her place and she either keeps you waiting outside for more than ten minutes.

Then what we did was leave comments from them on our real profiles. Anyway. I know that Dave M teaches about creating recon profiles in his Insider Internet Dating course. We got to talking and we were talking about my Halloween party last year that she missed. Just don’t tell too many people what you’re doing. They do. Anything that would add some value to our profile page. So I left a comment from a fake chic telling me how great of a time she had. the girl I was bummed missed the party actually mentioned something like “I know you had fun that night!” She said this because she read the comment and assumed I went home with the girl… Actually I went home with a girl that night. This is a great way to create a triangle. that honor would go to one of my friends who’ll remain nameless. Don’t think girls don’t read your comments. I and my nameless friend took this tactic a little further about a year ago. I'm going to put a patented “sleazy” on this post. Take advantage of this tip. So if you want to create a good jealousy trap. and it's still paying off… What we did was create a couple fake female profiles on MySpace. I actually forgot about my fake comments until a girl I used to have a thing for came back into my life. as they teach in the Art of Seduction. My friend's tactic goes one step further. But you get the point. But it wasn’t my fake profile girl. Comments like “what a great time last night…” “Your party rocked…” “I was so surprised how well endowed you are. they pay attention and remember shit like that. 145 . You’ll look like a real ass if you get caught. I’m glad I didn’t invent this.Social Superstar Ultimate MySpace Jealousy Tool Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 12/23/2007 Ok.” no just kidding about that last one. Even for Bobby Rio this is sleazy. and a little joke about a photo in my room. Just like you read the comments of a girl you’re interested in.. what a great host I was. A recon profile is a fake female profile you create to attract men… the point of the profile is basically to see what your competition is writing to women online. I was pretty bummed she missed it. But the point is..

no ass getting. You’ve read the story! It’s all just practice for the big game. Is it a front you're putting up? Is it easier to say you’ve got really high standards than it is to admit you have no game and are afraid of girls? I say this because I have a few buddies who are perpetually alone.The Best of TSBMAG. When you get the perfect 10 in bed. Aim lower. you best give her the fuck of the century. Fuck that! Even Bobby Rio rolls with the fatties some time. I’m not saying you shouldn’t strive to fuck hotties. And when I try to set them up with a “not so hot” chick they act like I’m crazy for suggesting it. 146 . at home Friday night masturbating guys always seem to have really high standards? These guys who have absolutely no experience with women are waiting for the perfect 10 to come along. Haven’t you notice the guys who fuck the hottest chicks also fuck the ugliest as well. C’mon guys. I’m just saying that in the meantime get your feet wet with some piggy's. You don’t go from T-ball to the big leagues without some time in the minors.COM Aim Lower Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 08/15/2007 Just a quick thought… How come all of the virgin. just today's thought. Like they’re way too good for her. Anyway. Plus its fun… but don’t tell anyone. That way when you do meet the perfect 10 you’re experienced enough sexually not to blow your load in three minutes.

never anything that can be angrily argued about. So in reality anything that you say to a girl is an opener. never political. These were original openers that better matched my unique personality. topical (mainly topics girls might be interested in) and they are sometimes comedic. Openers Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 08/29/2007 It seems that the topic of openers is all the rage lately. the routines… but I never used them in the field. (Or hasn’t it always been?) What are good openers? Will Mystery openers still work? Are canned openers good? Mike Stoute and I did a podcast about openers a few months ago. the hooks. Essentially.Social Superstar PUA Openers. I memorized the punch lines. never racial. 147 .) but the openers cause flirty type of arguments… not real heated win or lose type arguments. I looked for the reasons that they work. What I did when I was first starting out years ago was I bought the book The Art of Approaching and basically took the 50 or so openers he gives you in there and studied them. always light… meaning the topics are never depressing.. I took everything I learned in the amazing book and constructed my own “canned” openers. So what makes a good opener? The reason that openers Mystery uses or Style or any of the other canned ones that have become popular over the years. So are canned openers good? If it takes using a canned opener to get you to have the confidence to open your mouth in front of a girl then by all means use them. A conversation starter. that is all an opener is. I used the outlines he gave and wrote openers that actually interested me. but I feel that it's time to write on the subject again.. Remember the topics at times are supposed to cause arguments (who lies more… floss before or after… is kissing cheating…. Because it gave a lot of people a handbook of what to say to a girl to start a conversation. It seems that people love googling openers looking for the page of perfect ones to use in bars/clubs/banks/hot dog stands/Wall Marts…. And I want to hear some comments and feedback to see what all of you think about the topic. I think that is why Neil Strauss's book became so famous. I read about how to deliver them. Openers. are so good is because they are non threatening.

COM For instance the question “Do you floss before or after brushing” became my opener “That piece of meat in a wonton soup… what the hell is it?” The opener “Is kissing cheating?’ became “Would you let your fiancé go to Thailand for his bachelor party?’ “You have a real confident way about you” became “You have a friendly air about you. From there I started developing routines to lead into. my friends and I had three different sets of girls swarmed around us waiting for me to answer the burning question “will I pussy out or will I go sky diving tomorrow?” My friend opened the set my telling them to talk me out of being a pussy. I created a whole shit load of openers that brought up topics I liked and started using them. Yes. But usually these stories weren’t lies… they were stories that happened to me. the wind. the impatient tandem jump instructor yelling at me… these things made the story come alive… these things got me LAID that night. By reading books like Magic Bullets I was able to see how to construct a routine. As I used them more and more I began to see a pattern of how girls reacted to them. (back then they weren’t so cliché) but more and more I began making up the routines on the spot. they were imagining themselves pulling the cord. Tell me I only live once… blah blah… I ran with it. It's all about how you sell it." The jealous girl friend opener became “Would you be mad if your boyfriend slept with Jennifer Anniston?” This is how I got by in the beginning.The Best of TSBMAG. dates. you must not be from New Jersey. Once you know the purpose of a routine (demonstrating higher value. I told the story… I had them imagining themselves in the plane. These thing got one of my friends 148 . to fit the mood of the moment. To tell me I will regret it. I used my imagination and turned a true story about my backing out of a skydiving trip… into this life or death moment of manhood bullshit that the girls ate up. sometimes I felt like a liar…(”it's not lying its flirting” lol) Sometimes I would return to a bar a couple weeks later and have to remember some story I made up and roll with it again. genders. disarming obstacles…) they became easy to make up. Sometimes I cheated and used a Mystery routine. I just changed names. I remember once.

Once you know how to construct a good opener. When you go out and the night really becomes an adventure. and you’re going with the flow. Man. It's fun. you can’t ask for a better feeling!!!!! 149 . My point isn’t to brag. It's easy. and it's working…. They are merely conversation starters.Social Superstar LAID that night… the other one (with the least game) got a number and wound up fucking her three dates later. It actually makes you look forward to going out. He still thanks me. Things are even truer when you get to the point that you’re not using canned ones. It's to tell you that openers aren't some magic mysterious lines that are hidden away for a select few.

They can look at you and know if you “get laid.The Best of TSBMAG. That's great. If you're fucking a girl right. Use each other. or Adult Friendfinder. do it.” Back in the day me and my friends would call it “practicing for the big game. I’m talking about a plain Jane. So what's the best way to do this? If you're less than experienced in the bedroom I recommend going out and getting yourself a fuck buddy.” And it works. As much as your ego must hate the idea of slumming. If you're wondering where to find these fuck buddies. escalating.” Every time we fucked a girl that was ugly or fat we would blow it off to “practice. What's great about a fuck buddy is that because you’re getting laid a couple nights a week you won’t be so needy and hungry when you're out hunting. she won’t ask for those things. Nothing more. You probably work with one of them.COM How to Calm Your Sexual eediness Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 09/19/2007 Too many guys jump into this seduction/PUA stuff swinging for the fences. Your intention should be to give her as much sexual pleasure as possible. They are all over. 150 . Women can smell neediness a mile away. The more comfortable and confident you get in your sexual abilities the more natural it will be for you to act sexual around women. They are on Match. but if you’re a guy that's been sitting on the sidelines for years you’re going to need a little experience in the bedroom before you start fucking around with 9 and 10s. This means getting comfortable touching girls. Remember “you only get one chance to make a first impression. maybe a chunker with a cute face.” And women want guys who get laid. They are at bars. talking sexual to girls. And don’t feel bad about it. Your goal is get comfortable being sexual. someone with a little baggage… your goal here is not to fall in love. You don’t need to promise her flowers and diamonds.

Original Published: 04/24/2008 Recently.just in case you have not noticed. put into my own little rhyme sequence. She expressed to him that she saw him as a “cool guy and a friend. this incident left Dan confused and filled with self-doubt about his women-reading skills. though. etc. I was doing a telephone Life Coaching session for a 19-year old young man named Dan. this attention becomes like a drug. it is very important to keep in mind that when you think that a girl is into you. Many women measure themselves based on how many men hit on them or give them second glances. Especially to hotter girls that are used to getting the attention. He claimed that “all the signals were there. plastic surgery. to beautify themselves. had an additional problem that he and many others often need help with: discerning a girl’s interest or lack of interest. when he asked her out for coffee. that she was not into him.” Let's get these fact straight fellas: Women love attention.Social Superstar Are You the Man or Just the Fan? Written by Justin B. if she is looking at him as “the man or a fan. gym memberships. though.” Ouch. With this fact in mind. she may be really into the 151 . He had recently had a bad blow to his intuitive confidence in this area when he had thought that a beautiful and single girl that went to his health club was interested him. clothes.” She had been smiling at him and eagerly said hello to him every time he came into the gym. We all have heard some variation of this in our lives and we know it is not an easy thing to hear. They spend exorbitant amounts of money on makeup. I am used to young men coming to me for confidence boosting and for improving their internal and external relationship with the opposite sex. I explained to him that this was a frequent mistake I see in men: They don’t know how to tell the difference between when a girl wants them or their attention. Like many of us. They don’t understand how to tell. especially a very hot one. He was to find out. This young man. He was sure she was into him and even admitted to me that he started envisioning how jealous his friends would be when he landed this hot babe. they had good conversations and she seemed receptive to and appreciative of his frequent compliments.

Watch also for her brushing her hair back nervously. I remember a few years back I was not sure if this very attractive girl that I worked with was into me. So. 1) Most of the time if a woman is truly attracted to you she is going to be self-conscious around you. This principle will be interwoven in some of the pointers that I address. Pay careful attention as you read and do not read this hastily. Women.The Best of TSBMAG. often like to feel the “butterflies” in their stomach and like to feel that they are “being kept on their toes.COM attention that you are showering her with. but you must learn to tell the difference if you don’t want to waste your time and set yourself up for needless rejection. There was a group of us who ate lunch together in the building cafeteria that talked politics 152 . If you are interested in the exact psychology behind this: in short the stomach area is a part of a woman’s body that she is usually very conscientious about. Watch particularly if you think you look good one day for her tugging at the bottom of her shirt by her stomach area: This is usually a sign that she thinks you are attractive and wants to measure up. by contrast.” Before I go into giving some very good and specific tips let me first issue a disclaimer about anything cookie cutter when it comes to human behavior. If a woman seems not to care about the impression that she is making on you then most likely you are “just a fan. Psychology is not an exact science and a lot of the advice about human behavior is true to the extent that it shows trends. This does not mean that she does not think that you are attractive or that there is no chance of changing her interest. but also from having women as Life Coaching clients and friends. There are many more but these 2 seem reoccurring. There is an important principle to keep in mind when seeking to understand women: Women actually like being nervous sometimes.not only my own experience with women. and collected we were and try to find ways not to feel and appear nervous.” It sounds crazy but it is true. by now you are probably wondering how you tell if you are “the man or just a fan. When we men go on a date we like to take pride in how calm. She is going to seem a little nervous and cognizant of her behavior. cool.” I don’t just mean a physical impression either. Below are 2 general principles and tips for judging a girls interest or lack of it.

then it probably is an addiction. but did smile at me and listened when I spoke. We usually stop by there after the gym and there was a hot chick working there behind the courtesy desk that goes to our gym. she will want to know more about you and will find a way to ask you. If a girl is interested in you. She noticed on his keychain that he had a key tag for PETCO. nor really look like she really cares what you think and is a little nervous. Then she asked him something that sealed the deal and left no room for doubt. One day we were alone in the cafeteria and a news story came on television about the war in Iraq. Right then I knew that I was not just “a fan” and I got her number. if you are wondering and find yourself 153 . She asked him if he had a dog and as he answered her questions. David Simon. she asked more questions. On this particular day she had a lot to say and I looked at her quite impressed. I want to tell a quick story. He bought a 6-pack of soy yogurts and I told him to go ask her if she could ring him up. most likely you are unfortunately “just a fan.Social Superstar regularly and with a lot of zeal and passion. If she wants to know if you have a girlfriend you don’t have to tell her. She ate with us but never said much during these conversations. Not surprisingly. Scott said that she had been smiling at him a little in the gym but he was not sure if it was friendly or personalized to him. My friend Scott and I were in A&P a few weeks ago.she had never tried them she said. he got her number and was out with her that weekend. Using the same principle. He cut her off and said “If you are asking about it. To close. They had exchanged pleasantries but the conversations were always short because she was working out with friends. She confessed in a cute way that she had asked her friend who knew a lot about the war to fill her in because she wanted to appear smart in front of me.she probably will find a cute way of asking. not a group of you. I walked over with him and she saw his yogurts and asked him if they were good. I walked away.” 2) Is she asking you questions about yourself? Bottom line guys: If a girl is not asking you questions about yourself most likely she is not into you.” She laughed and knew that it was true. She will find ways to be closer to you and look for excuses to ask you questions. A participant asked him about her habit of drinking a large Starbucks coffee every day. A few months ago I was on a teleseminar conference call about addictions with one of America’s best health experts. You guys get the point by now: If a girl is not trying to overtly impress you. “I am not sure if it is an addiction…” she stated.

and you are unfortunately a “fan” and not “the man. like the caller. then. the answer is probably what you do not want to hear: that she is not into you.COM asking if a girl is into you.The Best of TSBMAG.” Thank you Justin – 154 .

. But there are people out there just like Jack. Everyone is in panic. I’ve been hanging with this girl for a couple weeks now and we decided to stay in last night. And just like Jack these guys get life’s bounty. People are fascinated with leaders. but being the show is in its fourth season and I’m at the beginning… my post would be old news for most of you..Social Superstar The Hero the Bounty and the Purpose Driven Life Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 02/24/2008 It was a very tame Saturday night for me. Jack selflessly tries to help everyone on the island. 155 . success… but more importantly a sense of purpose. Women. order Chinese. takes charge. The show begins with a plane crash. money. Until the main character. confusion mode.. The point of this post isn’t to talk about Lost. I could write a whole post about the show. We are so fascinated with them because very few of us have the intestinal fortitude to be one. Sure it's a television show. No one has a clue what to do. and watch the first season of Lost on DVD. I have resisted watching Lost for years but at the insistence of my brother and a couple friends I decided to give the show a shot.. Jack. Shit is upside down. down a bottle of Pinot. but to talk about leadership. and I’m sure you guys would wind up spoiling a lot of shit for me. She had never seen it either and was into the idea of starting the series from the beginning. I’d love to tell a story about how 30 minutes into the first episode we were having animal sex on my kitchen table or how her friend showed up and we had a mind blowing three way… but that just wasn’t the case. and has all of the survivors looking up to him within an hour of the plane crash. wakes up from his black out and immediately takes on the roll of the leader. The truth is we watched eight straight episodes of Lost and passed out on the couch halfway through the ninth.

To prove to myself that I wasn’t wasting my life away in the rat race. I was going to take it.The Best of TSBMAG. And when you’re living completely self centered. slept with more women than I care to admit. Rooshv. But even with all the books that I’ve read on the subject. He obtained the respect of everyone on the island because while they were standing around waiting to be saved… he was saving other people. He did it through purpose and action. my motives for the trip are still entirely selfish. I think it is impossible to be free. I don’t have any regrets. Some way to convince myself that I was free. I’ve got more friends than I can count. But I’m not so sure escape is that easy. I had been following a blog. growing a beard. And I’ve had more than I ever dreamed I would. Dyer has written many books about living on purpose. wishing badly it was me trekking on a bus through the Peruvian Andes. In a world so obsessed with “self help” I think we often neglect the fact that the best form of “self help” is the selfless act of helping others. and waking up in strange places with strange people. Because when it comes down to it. I recently wrote a list of 5 Must Have Self Help Books and that list included two books by Wayne Dyer. He didn’t get the girl because he sold her on his ideas through long winded speeches and debates. I can’t speak for anyone but myself but there are times in my life that I feel an overwhelming sense of being unfulfilled. still won’t be enough. I realize that part of the reason I wanted to take the trip was for some form of escape. watching Lost last night I still felt as if I were missing something important. having three week flings with Chilean beauties. waiting for my slice of the cheese. And for the longest time that was my dream. Yet. I was going to finally live. something along the lines of “did you find what you were looking for?” Because I’m starting to believe that even the soul searching trip I felt destined to make….COM Jack didn’t become a leader because he was the best politician on the island. He’s back now and I recently posed a question to him in a comment. visited more countries than most people could name. and generally lived on the edge and survived to tell about it. I followed his journey religiously. Many books talk about living on purpose. it took watching seven 156 . I’m not sure freedom is as simple as throwing on a backpack.com where he detailed his six month trip across the continent of South America.

And because of that. worldwide democracy. The father of my friend’s girlfriend passed away and as I listened to the various eulogies. pursuing. to date. That is why my South American trip would not have been the escape I was looking for. comparing and contrasting. I would be waiting for something to happen that would make me think “now I’m really living” but more than likely I would spend six months waiting. or realizing that the girl sitting next to me was seeing something in Dr. and then wake up and decide it was time to go home.Social Superstar straight hours of Lost to make me finally understand what living on purpose is all about. peace in the Middle East. I figured maybe I was doomed to a world of ego domination. Jack that she knew she would never see in me. or the previous movies such as Gandhi. how can I experience a sense of purpose in my life? Take on the role of leader? What kind of higher goal will transcend me to the next level of living? I think that my problem with the Dyer books I’ve read about purpose driven life. I felt it was ‘beyond me’ to live selflessly. or national independence. I would still be stuck in my mind. But I think many of us have been mislead to believe that to “be great” you must do great things. judging. Jack that was inside of me waiting to be released. none of them have swept me away in inspiration. but I woke up this morning feeling a little different. but does that mean we have no choice but to view ourselves as less significant. So understanding that I will more than likely never be trapped on deserted island and have to play the role of savior to a group of stranded castaways. analyzing. or maybe it was me seeing something in Dr. and rationalizing the trip’s every minute. less “great?” I was at wake this afternoon. Maybe it was the deliriousness of staring at a television screen until the wee hours of the night. Most of us will never have the opportunity to deliver a speech like William Wallace gives in Braveheart or liberate a nation through self sacrifice like Gandhi did. Living on purpose means getting lost in the moment because there is something greater than your personal desire that needs to be achieved. or Braveheart is that I always sort of believed you needed to be inspired by notions like ending world hunger. While these are all noble causes. global warming. curing cancer. A little lost. each speaker recollecting a 157 .

It's not about waiting for that moment where you can “look like a hero. We don’t need our plane to crash in the South Pacific (if that's really where they are) to give us our moments to shine. A few of the speakers had given heartfelt thank you to my friend who had stepped in to pull the family together as it became more and more certain that his girlfriend’s dad was going to lose his battle with cancer.” It's funny how when you’re running on a few hours sleep. and acted as a sense of strength for his girlfriend and her mother when the two of them would continually break down. Everyday each one of us is presented with situations where we can be a leader and a hero. It's about deciding that every action you take from here on out will serve a greater purpose. are those who ultimately see the most of life’s bounty.COM particular time in their life when the deceased impacted their life for the positive. great role models. He took days off from work. leaders. Everyone in that room viewed my friend as a hero. 158 . and you get swept away in the emotion of a wake. We can be great friends. how clearly something so elusive can suddenly appear. your heads a little messed up from too many episodes of Lost. One of the speakers quoted a line from "It’s a Wonderful Life" saying “no man is a failure who has friends.” It's about deciding to be great this very minute. great listeners. It's been said over and over again that those who live on purpose and relinquish their personal wants and desires. and heroes.The Best of TSBMAG. he had long intense conversations with the dying man. Standing there in the funeral parlor I realized we all have the choice on a daily basis to be great.

the other part of it was that I was completely impressed with the stories of his unparalleled will and determination. These are the artificial indicators of achievement in our society. Most of us are not above striving for them. The reason women have no respect for “nice guys” is because these nice guys often lack integrity. It is equally important in how you live your life. Part of my fascination with him was based on childhood nostalgia. I religiously followed his career and collected his memorabilia.Social Superstar Integrity Makes a Man Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 02/14/2008 There is more to life than how much money you can make or how many girls you can sleep with. and how it relates to the way you interact with women. I’m the only guy in NJ who walked around in an Astros hat. The set of values they define for themselves gets pushed aside for the opportunity to be with a beautiful woman. But integrity goes further than your dealings with the opposite sex. But the real depth of your character and what ultimately makes you a man. Their lack of integrity stems from the fact that they hold beautiful women to different standards then they hold the rest of the world. is living within a set of core values and beliefs that you set for yourself. 159 . Roger Clemens was my favorite sports figure since 1986. It was to the point where my friends laughed because I changed favorite teams every time he signed a new contract. I was envious of the motivation he possessed that got him out of bed at 4:30 am every morning to work his body to peak performance. We addressed integrity in our “The Lost Art of Being a Man” podcast. I am by no means a perfect person. Even after I began to lose interest in baseball I still made an attempt to keep track of his career. I included. We have all most likely been a role where we’ve acted in a way that is not congruent with our core set of values… but watching Roger Clemens at the Congressional hearings yesterday reminded me of the importance of living with integrity.

It is my personal business and I may not feel the need to be completely open. I’ve lied to girls and cheated on them. you’ve lied. My definition of living with integrity means owning up to your mistakes. But when I eventually got caught I laid all of my cards on the table. Once again. If you’ve ever used someone else’s canned routine in the field… you’ve lied. But watching Clemens blatantly lying over and over again to save his chances for the Hall and his endorsement deals. Something at that point of his life (mainly his fierce drive to be the best) made him feel it was necessary to use performance enhancing drugs. There is a certain shame in these types of lies. If someone casually asks me how many girls I’ve slept with. But life is too short for regrets so I move on. It's not something I’m proud of. Something at that point in time (mainly my dick) made me feel it was necessary to sleep with a woman outside of my relationship. I relate it similarly to mistakes I’ve made where I’ve cheated on girls that I loved.COM That being said Roger Clemens choice to have himself injected with steroids is something I could forgive him for. It wasn’t always easy. I will not deny it. I told them EXACTLY how I felt and why I did it. It would have been easier to continue the lies (as OJ showed us deny deny deny) but to me there is a difference between situational lying and lying about something you’ve been accused of. But most of us have defined our core set of values to let these sorts of lies slip by. Shit happens. But if a girl claims to have slept with me. Because when you deny something you’ve done against 160 . While making a mistake is human nature. Period. and I know full well that I did. It is his personal business. has left me with the feeling that the man lacks a sense of integrity. I may lie as to not appear a slut in that particular situation. I don’t think any of us are above lying. Owning up to a mistake is what separates the men from the boys. The same can be said for Roger Clemens use of steroids. People fuck up. Or doing everything in your power to correct them in the future. And if someone casually asked Roger Clemens if he’s ever used steroids I would not condemn him for lying in that situation.The Best of TSBMAG. Human beings make mistakes. If you’ve ever told a girl you were going for a friend's luncheon but really had sex with an Argentine prostitute in back alley brothel…. we are human beings.

Social Superstar someone else’s word… you’re. using his wife as a scapegoat. This is where Roger Clemens has crossed the line of simply making a “human mistake” and gone on to show an utter lack of integrity. In the face of adversity that Clemens is facing you always have two choices: You can lie and manipulate and play the self serving “if I deny long enough they’ll forget about it” card or you can own up to your mistake. in fact. He is calling numerous people liars. In essence. blame everyone else… or you own up your mistakes and BECOME A MAN. calling them a liar. be a man and move forward. questioning his best friend’s story. 161 . In every situation in life you have these same two choices: You make excuses. and wasting the time of a whole lot of people who would just like to move on from this shit. The problem with Clemens choice of action is that the only person he is looking out for is himself. take the self serving route.

Daisy goes on to marry someone else. Jackie was a girl I worked with a few years back. That was part 162 .The whore. He also throws party after party in his mansion in hopes of her showing up without the realization that it was her old lover throwing the party. They are usually not ex girlfriends.The Best of TSBMAG. We all have those girls from our past that still haunt us. but instead they are usually girls that we have unfinished business with… girls that “slipped away” or circumstance prevented things from going further. The two fall in love and date for awhile before circumstance prevents the two from continuing their love affair. For me there are three that pop into my head: Jackie. The reason that I decided to write about this is because the other night I realized that I still suffer from what I call The Great Gatsby Complex. He is full throttle into “the sickness” over an ex lover Daisy Buchanan. the main character Jay Gatsby has one of the strongest cases of “oneitis” I’ve ever seen. It is the guy who is struggling through law school so that he can show up at his high school reunion and impress a girl he had a crush on ten years ago… it is the guy that is at the gym seven days a week building the perfect body in hope that he runs into an old flame and she’s blown away by his chiseled abs. F. In the novel. Scott Fitzgerald’s famous novel The Great Gatsby serves to constantly remind me about the art of letting go. We clicked on many different levels… and we both were insanely attracted to each other… but Jackie was “on the promiscuous side.COM The Great Gatsby Complex Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 03/23/2008 I’ve always said you can learn more from certain novels about human nature than you can from some of the most celebrated self help books.” She fucked just about every guy I knew. The Great Gatsby Complex is an inward hope of meeting someone from your past that drives you to make decisions in your present life. and Gatsby spends the next five years building an empire to impress her with his new wealth. And discussed the details with me.

I met Jaime at her older sister’s birthday party. Jaime.. I don’t consider myself as having oneitis over any one of them… but I do find myself hoping that they’ll show up at the bar I’m at more often that I’d like to.. She’s the friend that after five years of unbearable sexual tension we explode during a ski trip and spent a week in a hotel barely ever leaving the bed. Jaime was the most adorable girl I had ever seen and soon we were laying on the bed making out… she’s telling me how we’re going to get married… how much she likes me… and I’m enjoying it like I haven’t with any girl in a long time… I resist having sex with her for most of the night despite her constant begging. and there was no way I could be caught dating her. Soon I found myself standing on his porch telling her how cute she was… then we kissed. I’ve found myself suggesting certain bars to my friends because of the slight chance one of these three 163 .Social Superstar of our friendship… helping each other get laid.. I mention these girls because they still haunt me. What is so dangerous about The Great Gatsby Complex is that it can begin to control your present moment.The 17 year old.. I’ve written about her before.. We avoided the temptation of hooking up with each other for over a year… until one night we couldn’t take it anymore and dragged each other into a bathroom during a party and made out like our life depended on it. I do have fantasies of running into one of them and instantly rekindling the old unfinished feelings. The chemistry was so unbelievably hot.. I tried to avoid her after (she wasn’t exactly street legal) but a week later she called me up and asked me to go down the shore with her and her friend.. So after that night we went back to being friends. I had hooked up with her sister in the past and felt a little weird at the party because her sister was there with her boyfriend (who she was with when we had our fun) so to keep myself occupied I flirted with her younger sister Jaime. and when the trip ends -so does our brief romance…and our friendship. Later I’m so confused over what I did that I never talk to her again. Jackie was a known slut. We were both in relationships at the time with other people. Later that night Jaime came back to a friend's place and we kept talking. until we gradually disappeared from each other’s lives.. finally I give in. but there was one big problem. We got down the shore and rented a hotel… her friend quickly disappeared and left us alone in the room. Kryptonite.The soul mate.

and connection. Each of the three girls I mentioned added excitement and adventure to my life during the time I knew them. I’ve found myself constantly looking around hoping to spot one of them… Holding onto the past like this ruins the opportunities that are presented to you in the present. I know I made mistakes that might have cost me a chance at a great love affair… but what is done is done. I don’t deny that they hold a special place in my mind… but holding on the past in this way can prevent you from meeting new girls who may have similar qualities. Any of the three girls I mentioned could easily have been the love of my life… but they weren’t. The third step of ridding yourself of the complex is the act of forgiveness. AND THAT'S ALL THEY WERE. They were brief romances that ended prematurely. And I am thankful for that opportunity. You have to forgive yourself for anything you did to contribute to ruining the romance. These feeling never got a chance to mature so they are still burning strong… unlike ex girlfriends who we went full circle with and our feeling had a chance to run their course leaving us with both good and bad memories. The final step of ridding yourself of the complex is the expression of faith. Part of the reason we hold onto these ghosts from our past is because we don’t believe that we’ll meet anyone better.The Best of TSBMAG. chemistry. The second step of ridding yourself of the complex is the expression of gratitude. It is time to forgive yourself and move on. You have to know that you have all the qualities and characteristics to meet and attract an even more special girl. I know some of my actions back then weren’t stemming from my best self. How to Rid Your Self of the Great Gatsby Complex I think the first step in ridding yourself of the complex is the acceptance of all things past for what they were. Each of these experiences made you the person you are today. You have to have faith that she is out there… 164 .COM might show up there. Each of these three girls had a quality about them that separated them from the hundreds of other girls I was with during that time frame. I think that the reason it's the girls that we have unfinished business with that haunt us the most is because we only have the memories of the intense attraction.

If you are being held back by ghosts from your pasts I suggest following the four step plan to rid yourself of the complex.Social Superstar Once you develop a sense of faith that you’ve yet to meet your ideal girl… the chains from your past are released and you begin to grow excited for what you may find in your future. 165 .

it is rather that they are so fulfilled and 166 . “have your shit together”. protagonist Ray Kinsella played by Costner is told early in the movie by a mysterious voice “Build it and he will come” as he walks through the cornfield on his large farm. this will attract women. and you build your life up to a point where you feel good about it and. Many men often note that men that seem to land a quantity of quality women into their beds give off a vibe that they “don’t really care. After several months. which will easily translate into attracting women. After this. What I would like to focus on today. I think you all intuitively understand that what I am saying is that you have to have a strong basis for your self-esteem outside of your success with women and that. Original Published: -4/03/2008 Build it and They Will Come by Justin B In the very popular and successful 1989 movie Field of Dreams.The Best of TSBMAG. ironically.” If you have seen this excellent movie you know it teaches many life lessons and has some great underlying messages and themes to it.” It is not that they don’t really care. His wife is skeptical but tells him to follow his vision and build the field. let us translate this phrase into “Build it and they will come. women will pick up on the very confident and responsible vibe you give off.COM Build it and They will Come Written by Justin B.” As a motivational Life Coach I often deal with men that tell me that they have a difficult time attracting and dealing with quality women. Kinsella gets a very clear vision of a baseball field in his cornfield and believes deep inside of himself that there is a connection between the “build it” part of what he heard and the vision of the baseball field. as they say. starring Kevin Costner and Ray Liotta. For our purposes. though for our purposes is this key phrase “Build it and he will come” and how it can be applied to your own life with women. I often tell them that one of their main problems I see is that they are too focused on getting women and not focused enough on building their own life and their own self-confidence and self-esteem. When you are being fulfilled in multiple areas of your life. some of the deceased ballplayers from the shamed 1919 Chicago White Sox baseball team show up on his field and now he more deeply understands the message that he chose to have faith in: to “build it” and trust that they “will come.

and become passionate about it. besides women of course. 2) Lift weights. Being this way will put your much more in touch with your own masculine energy and will make you very appealing. Men find themselves best when they are happy with their work.Social Superstar focused on the other parts of their lives that they don’t have a lot of time to worry about how they are doing with women. When you lift weights you are going to be getting in touch with and expressing your masculinity even outside of the gym. his family. sports. A woman I was talking with recently told me that it is very sexy for a guy to be very into his job. the last thing that they want is to be with a man that has the same issue. Hopefully. Learning to meditate. Become charismatic and excited about it. 1) Find a cause.” So how can you apply this philosophy to your life and “build” your own life up to make room for them to “come”? Here are some starting points although by now I am sure you get the idea. You may even consider it something for women. or career that you are passionate about. If you can identify your core passions and pursue them you will find yourself much more fulfilled in a holistic and overall way. you will attract attention with your very masculine vibe. his friends.” Remember that a personality trait that women often get frustrated with about themselves is the fact that their self-esteem is too much based on what the opposite sex thinks. I am not just saying this for the reason you might be thinking: that women like muscles. because she said that it expresses a sense of confidence and fulfillment that he is strong and that he could “be strong for her. Women pick up on their vibe of independence and self-fulfillment and this is very attractiveboth emotionally and sexually. 3) Practice meditation or some form of relaxation You may have never considered meditation or consider it something for New Age weirdoes. this is your career but if not find something that interests you. purpose.for women. will build your self-confidence because you will slowly get in touch with the negative thoughts that are holding back 167 . etc. though. The men who have mastered this principle have inadvertently taught themselves and us a valuable lesson about the connection between their own lives and their success with women: “Build it and they will come. While you release endorphins and build your emotional and physical muscles.

As you become more content and build your self confidence at a deep level. See the value in them because you will feel better and therefore will not need women to make you feel good about yourself. Do not get into the trap of doing these things solely to attract women. I usually recommend to clients anything by Steven Halpern or Deepak Chopra.The Best of TSBMAG. 168 . they will come in droves because you too “will not care.” Find a local meditation class or buy a book or CD on meditation. Then watch how as you “build” your life. “they” will come.COM your success with women and other areas of your life.

But later in life when I became better with women. I wasn’t much better. So for the next six months I stayed in a relationship I was miserable in. I was a naive boy at the time. Little by little I was ruining her. I heard from friends that she actually had to go for counseling. spending every waking hour together. I barely paid attention when she spoke to me.” He was talking about the women that come in and out of your life.Social Superstar Why You Shouldn’t String Girls Along Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 04/29/2008 It was actually Ross Jeffries who originally coined the phrase “Leave them better then you found them. I was bitter towards her. I was now this bitter. And finally she did. After this I avoided relationships altogether for awhile. my girlfriend Jillian and I rushed in full throttle. I was no longer the charming man that won her over. I denied most of her attempts at sexual activity. 169 . The more I hinted that I was looking to end the relationship the more she clung closer to me. naive to the reality of relationships. But the whole ordeal took a giant toll on the both of us. I made her feel small by talking about her insecurities. asshole. By our ninth month together I desperately wanted to be single again. non-sexual. I became a completely different person. The thrill of this relationship lasted about 6 months. Like most young couples. Soon the resentment grew to anger. I had no idea how to break free from her. As time went by I became more and more resentful of Jillian. She was a mess. and thought that by ending the relationship with this girl I would break her heart into a million pieces . I criticized everything she did.forever ruining her for other men. I hated the person that I became. I got involved in my first serious relationship my freshman year of college. I found myself falling back into this trap. mean. As you get better with women. and had the names of our future babies already picked out. I think my plan was to treat her so badly she would end it with me. and was dating more and more women. this phrase will hold as much importance as anything you’ve been taught before.

A couple months into the relationship I sensed Nancy was looking for more. as our relationship was very low maintenance. than I was to string a girl along. I have realized that it is much less cruel to end a relationship than it is to stay involved with a girl you don’t have feelings for. and my self esteem was shot. I hated the person I was once again becoming. I felt like a soulless monster. The repercussions of the way you treat a woman echoes throughout your life. I was deliberately saying things that I knew would make Kate feel insecure. But I was too lazy to end it. I wouldn’t call Kate for days at a time. and knew it wasn’t going to go anywhere. Nancy was a fun girl who I enjoyed fucking. The lesson I learned was that I was much better off being honest with a girl about how I felt. I felt good about the way things ended with Nancy. Kate figured things out on her own and suddenly stopped calling me. I viewed myself as the kind of guy women should stay away from. Nancy and I are still friends to this day. The way I felt as a person during those times with Jillian and Kate was less than human. She was probably waiting for me to make the apology call. I would openly stare at other girls. I didn’t have that dark cloud surrounding me that I had a few months earlier with Kate. Since Kate I have changed my ways. Soon I became the same person I was years earlier with Jillian. You can’t avoid the pain of a breakup… but by delaying it you can make it much worse. It was apparent to me that Kate thought things were more serious than they were. I explained that I didn’t want anything more than what we had. We sat down and had the talk. 170 .COM I had been dating this girl Kate for like four months. but I never did. and have even fucked from time to time.The Best of TSBMAG. and it carried over into the rest of my life. A few months after Kate I started dating a girl Nancy. Luckily for me. I avoided sex with her. I no longer viewed myself as the kind of guy who attracts women. but was appreciative that I was honest with her. My integrity was all but drained. She was a bit upset.

and I coined the phrase “the sickness” back in college. It happens to the best of us… and even though we most likely know we’ve been infected. It corrupts your mind first. I knew in my head that it was now or never time for making my move. I wanted to create a fresh persona. everything came to a boil on a ski trip. The “sickness” is like oneitis on steroids. Mack Tight referred to it as when “guys become a needy pile of shit after they become obsessed over a woman.Social Superstar The Anatomy of the Sickness Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 04/30/2008 Mike.” We call it “the sickness” because once it infects you’re almost powerless against its control. vomiting. insomnia. alluded to her attractiveness. Although initially she seemed a little taken back. it is still near impossible to battle. weight loss. depression. Although I won’t pretend that you’ll be able to rid yourself of your obsession. Weeks before the ski trip I began avoiding her before heading up to the mountain. and distance myself from the friend zone that I had previously been regulated to. you may be able to avoid some of the classic mistakes that I made. slowly she responded to my escalation. Justin. at the very least. While the only cure for “the sickness” is time… I thought that if I wrote a detailed description of how the sickness infects (using my last battle with it as an example) you guys might be able to keep this as a guide to compare against when you feel it coming on. but then usually brings about physical symptoms like nausea. The next day she told me it was a mistake and that she liked me too much as a friend to continue. By the end of the night we were lying on my bed making out. I became more sexual. But I persisted again that night. The Anatomy of the Sickness After slowly falling for one of my female friends over the course of a year. and got more touchy feely. and once again she wound up on my bed with me making out. We spent the rest of the trip basically locked in my 171 . The first night of the ski trip I made a dramatic change in the way I interacted with her. Even as our closest friends tell us to “move on” “play it cool” “forget about her” their words go in one ear and out the other.

I had just completed my crowning achievement as a player. I was still in “play it cool” mode so I decided to hit the bar with a couple of my friends.COM bedroom. and then remember our wonderful week together in the mountains and get stuck in my mind trying to figure out what went wrong. and had arranged for them to be delivered to her 172 .The Best of TSBMAG. To be completely honest. I fell asleep that night with the phone in my hand. but I was in a state that I had never previously experienced. I don’t know if it was the sexual tension that had built up over the last year. It made sense in my mind. Quite drunk at this point. The realization that she didn’t call set in. While still at work I sent her a text “I want to see you. I was in “play it cool” mode so I figured I would wait a few days to call her. Saturday morning is when I went into panic mode. Although I left the week in the mountains feeling quite vulnerable. it was like nothing I had experienced before. I was on top of my game. I would say my confidence was sky high. or just my flat out physical attraction to her. Friday afternoon I could hardly contain my excitement to possibly spend time with her. She knows I’m a player. And when she didn’t answer I left a message. Somewhere in between Saturday and Sunday I convinced myself the reason that she’s avoiding me is because she doesn’t trust that I’m really into her. I went against my better instinct and called her. our strong connection as friends. I began asking the opinion of a few of my friends. After the bar closed I have an after party back at my house. The first couple nights back home went ok.” I would momentarily feel better. I was fairly confident that she felt the same way. but I wasn’t too worried as she had a habit of flaking throughout our friendship. I figured that what I needed to do was to prove to her that I was really into her. Bad!” I expected an immediate response with her echoing the sentiment. My mind was on the girl a bit. In fact. I waited and waited… but the response never came. still waiting for the call. The girl and I exchanged evening text messages. I began scanning my brain for reasons why she would be blowing me off. So I went against my better instinct and headed to the flower shop on Monday morning. I bought the biggest baddest most expensive bouquet of flowers they had. They all reassured me telling me “it's only been a day.

Later in the night I get a call from her thanking me for the flowers. The few times she actually does call or text… I am too weak to play the game. As time went by I gave up hope of her calling. Finally two months later I get really drunk and show up at her work. They basically consist of me checking my phone every three minutes to see if she called. In my mind… she was going to confess her love to me. For a minute or two I tell myself I’m not going to call her back… but then I give in and call. I proceed to go out with a friend. I try to play it cool and act like I don’t care. I wait till Friday to call her again. I’ve finally got her in front of me after two months of playing phone tag… but it's nothing like I imagined. My “wet friend” tells me not to answer the phone and give her a taste of her own medicine… but “dry friend” intervenes and I wind up talking her into coming over. The next morning I debate whether or not to cancel the flowers. get extremely drunk… and take home some 18 year old hostess I worked with. She keeps avoiding seeing me.” The next two months are a blur. Then later in moments of weakness I send her text messages asking “what's going on with us” and other shit I get nauseous thinking about. How the night ended. Monday night she calls me at one in the morning. I ask her to hang out but she says she’s tired and is just going to sleep. tell me how much she’s missed me… and wind up cuddled next to me on my bed.was me completely shit faced handing her a love letter I wrote her… her taking the letter and leaving… never even calling me to acknowledge it. I decide to still send them.. I am plastered but somehow talk her into heading out for a couple drinks with me.. She is almost frightened to see me.Social Superstar work Tuesday night… complete with a really embarrassing card basically professing my love. then she leaves. Once again… no answer. 173 . When she gets to my house she acts nonchalant about not calling… and I forgive her immediately. But even a fresh young 18 year old couldn’t deter me from the beginning of “the sickness. We make out a little while… I eat her pussy.

Then I began noticing that she and one of her co-workers were awfully close. I didn’t feel threatened because I knew the guy. Bobby Rio woke up the next morning at Rock Bottom. and never would imagine her to be into him… but as I got drunker it made more and more sense. Finally the rest of the party breaks up the fight… they put me in a cab and send my sad sick drunk ass home. At that point in my life I already knew everything there was too know. So once again.” But I couldn’t leave well enough alone. So I did the only thing a drunken sick bastard could do… I followed him into the bathroom and punched him square in his jaw. I’m going to leave this story without commentary. But as I got drunker the cool guy shell I had been putting on was slowly cracking. I had friends that still worked there.. I go out get completely shit faced and show up at her work party with one of my friends.” It was clear she didn’t want to talk about it. I began asking her questions alluding to “the weekend we spent together. The night started out pleasant enough… I spent time catching up with a handful of old friends… chatting with her whenever the occasion would allow. It is simply meant to show how the sickness can take hold of anyone. I knew that there would be an annual Christmas party at the place she worked..COM The mess that Bobby Rio had become was finally starting to put the pieces of his life back together.The Best of TSBMAG. I think I may have even bit him. 174 .. The next thing I know we’re ushered out to the parking lot… We’re rolling on the pavement pounding on each other’s skulls… sticking fingers in our eyes.. I was banging chicks left and right. He was dating a new girl… finally starting to get over “the sickness. always the one with the control and calling the shots… And I fell like a toy soldier. Everything was becoming crystal clear… (In my drunken distorted mind) SHE WAS FUCKING THIS GUY.

everything. At first I tried to artificially create a sense of passion in my life. “what does living with passion have to do with improving my skills at attracting women?” My answer is. and is an excellent place to start… ultimately you still won’t be living with passion. The greatest pickup artists in the world usually have a passion in their life greater than seducing women. for Neil Strauss it's his love of journalism. Six years ago I headed down to Buenos Aires. It gives them something to get excited about every morning. For Mystery it is his love of magic and showmanship. for Christian Hudson its entrepreneurship. It gives them something fascinating to talk to about.Social Superstar Living with Passion Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 05/19/2008 The first time I heard that phrase it was from an Anthony Robbins CD. for Extramask its comedy… What living with a higher passion does for each of these PUAs is it gives them a reason to exist other than picking up women. You may be asking. Argentina for a couple weeks to visit a friend. although I found it motivating. At the time. for Cajun and Mehow its theatre. It gives them something to strive for. I didn’t truly grasp the concept of living with passion. something that gives meaning to their existence. And as Sebastian Drake talked about in our recent interview with him. While improving areas of your non verbal communication may make you look and feel like a more passionate person. physiology. That trip ignited a passion in me that burns strongly to this day. improving these things will create a sense of “passive value” for you… and eventually you might even begin to feel a bit more passionate in your day to day activities. Bobby Rio’s passion in life is traveling the world. and voice tonality to present a passionate looking man to the world. My desire to see the world is stronger than my desire for any girl or to 175 . I used body language. for Tyler Durden its adventure.

ironically. I will never work a job that does not give me the flexibility to travel often (2 weeks vacation a year won’t cut it) nor will I date a girl who won’t just get up and go on a wild adventure with me. what would I be doing with my life?” Really taking time to think about this question will begin to give you a deeper understanding into what internally drives you. it defines a lot of my criteria for jobs and relationships. My happiness is never defined by how many notches I’ve added to my belt.” Discovering and cultivating your passion is an area that we are going to discuss in much more detail during our Mansformation Weekend Retreat. 176 . “If money wasn’t an issue. and that. I live with a willingness to walk away from any girl… And like Life Coach Justin says in his Build it and they will Come article.COM make any amount of money. “this will help you have a strong basis for your self-esteem outside of your success with women. How this relates to pickup and seduction Since no one can ever take my love of travel away from me… I never attach excess meaning to winning or losing with a particular girl.The Best of TSBMAG. this will attract women. I think that the first step in cultivating your passion is to ask yourself. In fact.

Effectively removing yourself from a slump can be a struggle. If you’re dreading putting seven days a week in at the gym. The most frustrating thing about slumps is that more you try to get out of one. And then when we try to get back on track. Other times we go through a dating slump (draught) where it seems like we’ll never kiss a girl again. Start Small. This prevents people from making any effort at all to interact with new people.000 credit card debt… just focus on paying off $25 a month. Use Small Successes to Build Momentum. For instance. We all go through them.instead commit to taking one long walk around your block every night. Once you’re no longer missing the $25 a month… start saving $35. focus on just talking to a couple new people a day. Instead of focusing on building a relationship. If you want to get your finances in order don’t dwell on how you’re going to pay off that $15. Sometimes we get in a financial slump where we just can’t get caught up on bills. Here are 7 Ways to Motivate You Out of a Slump 1. Many times the reasons we fall into slumps is because we’ve so over whelmed by everything going on in our life that we choose to negate it all. One of the biggest obstacles people face in overcoming slumps is they become intimidated by the task at hand. 3. And other times we go through a health slump where we seem to just entirely let ourselves go. if you’ve been single for a long time. do a few crunches when you get home from it. It is impossible to stay energized and 177 . Once you’ve started small you should be able to develop a new routine. The trick is to gradually build momentum based on small accomplishments. but with the right motivation you can get right back on track in no time. 2.Social Superstar 7 Secrets for Getting out of a Slump Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 06/25/2008 Slumps are a part of human nature. the mere thought of the time and energy involved in starting a relationship can scare the crap out of you. Focus on One Goal. the further along you seem to fall into it. Once you’ve got in the habit of taking a walk every night. Now that you’ve been talking to two new people a day for a week… challenge yourself a bit and start flirting with those two new people. we can’t figure out where to even start.

If you’re piss poor and think it’s impossible to change your situation read blogs and books from people who were in similar financial states and gone on to make millions. Motivation comes and goes. If you’re looking to get into better shape find a good workout buddy. And ask for advice… Or hang out with guys in the process of changing themselves as well. Stare at it and visualize it for however long it takes to snap you back into the right frame of mind. If you’re lonely. You really need to avoid the people in your life who bring about a negative influence. When you read over your goal make sure you’re visualizing yourself as having achieved it. everywhere you go. hang around guys who have already improved that area. Realize Motivation Comes and Goes. Find some Good Wingmen and Avoid the Negative. If you’re not having luck meeting a significant other. 6. Every day. Write your goal on an index card and put it in your pocket. And when that gust dies down… to know that it will arrive again shortly. When you find yourself losing focus or motivation… pull out the index card and reread your goal. that goal will be right beside you. The point is you need to continually inspire yourself and at the same time remind yourself that it is completely possible. If you’re goal is to get better talking to women. It is much better to just pick one goal that you are committed to achieving right away. Carry your Goal Around With You. read the hundreds of stories of guys who were 30 year old virgins who went on to date some of the most beautiful women in the world. its best to spend that time 178 . 7. and broke… pick the goal that you think will be the best catalyst for improving the other areas later on. I find its best to let a few select people in on your planned outcome… and ask for their help in achieving it. In the time where you’re motivation is lacking. Get Inspired. Find someone who will push you through the rough times. The trick is that when you’re feeling that gust of motivation to ride it out as long as possible. You’re not always going to be 100% motivated. out of shape. These are not the kind of people you want to associate yourself with. It is pretty hard to accomplish something completely on your own. 5. There are some people out there who just don’t like seeing other people succeed.COM focused on improving too many areas at once. 4.The Best of TSBMAG. It’s quite possible that you’ll find the mere habit of working out daily will motivate you to meet more people and get your finances in order.

179 . and talking to your wingmen. This will prevent you from falling back into the slump. revising your plan.Social Superstar reading up on your goals.

000 people live.The Best of TSBMAG. In fact. and fans are going to discuss it. He does this knowing that journalists around the country are going to talk about it. Alex Rodriguez is as good as he is because he is able to learn to master his emotions. He is as good as he is because he is able to acknowledge the emotion of disappointment or frustration. He then looks for the lesson that was offered from the situation. He can move on because he knows that in the past he’s overcome slumps. there are times the bases are loaded. So there is no reason he can’t overcome them in the future. If every time he went up to the plate he reminded himself how much pressure was on him… how would he ever possibly hit the ball? If every time he struck out or grounded into a double play he dwelled in the emotion of frustration or disappointment… how would he ever gather the courage to walk back up to the plate. He does this in front of 50. Once he realizes what action causes the frustration he can move on. Alex Rodriguez does not get a hit every time he goes up to the plate. the game is on the line… and he strikes out.COM Can You Control Your Emotions Like Arod? Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 06/30/2008 Inner game is not about succeeding every time. I think we would all agree he must have rock solid inner game. and the manager. Or even a collection of experiences. and owners are going to share their opinion on it. Maybe he is swinging for fences instead of just trying to make contact. maybe he took his eye off the ball for a split second too long. and millions of people watching on television. Once he 180 . Can you imagine any more possible pressure? My point is you’re not good or bad based on one experience. or maybe the pitcher was just having a damn good day. teammates. In order to be as good a baseball player as Alex Rodriguez.

You don’t face the wrath of millions of fans. he goes and works with the hitting coach to fix the flaw in his artillery. an angry manager. If you learn to control them… you’re on your way to inner game. The only wraths you face are your emotions. or scoring home runs. 181 . Chances are you don’t face anywhere near the kind of pressure Arod does. and pessimistic critics.Social Superstar knows that he is certain of his ability to overcome it again. No one is paying attention to whether you’re striking out every night. This mean you can play the game and have as much fun with it as possible. disappointed teammates.

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Going Down in Flames
Written by Alex Strandberg Original Published: 07/03/2008

We all care way too much what a complete stranger that knows nothing about us thinks. Fear of rejection is the underlying emotion in most approaches. The thought of a beautiful woman sitting there and calling you a loser in front of the entire club makes most guys stomachs turn in knots. Sort or ironically, being rejected will bring the most success with women into your life. Let me explain Internally most guys think that they are complete lonely losers that no one could love. They greatly fear that women will find this out and have no desire for them. They learn all these cool lines and tricks but that fear of being thought of as a loser by women and confirming their already held beliefs is still strong. It carries so much weight that it cripples them from being comfortable in interactions or EVEN APPROACHING WOMEN. They try their hardest to avoid getting “rejected” in order to avoid facing their own belief system. They try their very best to do everything “right "and LOOK COOL but by the very act of trying they are doing everything wrong. From this they place way too much importance on getting a good re-action from the girl and becoming very outcome dependent and needy. If the interaction goes well they get a false sense of self esteem from the girl and feel good. If it goes badly then that fear of actually being a loser is triggered and they feel terrible. When you are outcome dependent you become very attached to what the girl thinks of you. This just breeds of insecurity and neediness which if you hadn’t guessed is a HUGE TURN OFF for women. Women are attracted to men who could take or leave any woman. Not caring whether the woman comes, stays, lays or prays seems very counter intuitive but it's what will get you the “best” results and lead to a happier and more peaceful life.

182

Social Superstar

In addition to this fear of being rejected is a fear of the unknown. If you are just starting out in approaching or have done a couple of approaches the fear of the unknown is still lingering in the background. This fear makes your mind race at a hundred miles per hour with a million Questions: “what if she pours a drink on me?” “What if she rejects me and all the people in the club laugh at me and I am humiliated?” “What if this happens?” “What if that happens?” And so on. The only way around fear of the unknown is to go straight through it and become comfortable with ambiguity of approaching and life. When you get rejected badly and the initial sting wears down you will find it hilarious how some girls will treat a complete stranger who was just saying Hi to them and being friendly. Part of the reason why they felt the need to reject you badly is how annoyed they are at being hit on all day by guys who haven’t a clue. Another part of it is the pleasure they get from rejecting guys. They love the feeling of having the power to control another person's state of emotions through their own actions. One of the biggest fears that guys carry around with them is a fear of going back to who they were before they learned of the seduction community or any self help stuff. They remember how they felt before knowing any better, the loneliness, the feeling or being powerless and useless in driving the direction of their own lives. Guy’s develop a debilitating fear of being rejected because they fear that they will go back to who they were in the past. As a result, they avoid rejection at all costs. My suggestion: Go out with the intention of getting rejected HARD. Like any fear, the only way around it is to go through it. Getting rejected, laughed at, drink thrown in face is NOT A BIG DEAL. It’s not a big deal but you need to go through harsh and “embarrassing” rejection in order to realize that it doesn’t matter what some anorexic club ho who has NO IDEA WHO YOU ARE thinks of you. Hypnotica walked around for two months unshowered, unshaven, in a dress with a dildo strapped to his head in order to get over caring about what other people think. This is a great thing to do but it’s not very practical to people with jobs and obligations. Alternatively, you can go out as many times as needed with the intention of getting rejected.
183

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Here are a couple of things you can do to go down in flames: -Go up to a girl or a group of girls and ask them “hey, do you like salads? I like croutons that come with salads” It’s a very stupid and ridiculous question to ask to girls in a club but it will help you get over trying to look cool and caring what they think of you. -Go up to a girl and in a suave and cheesy way say “Daddy’s home” but try not to crack up laughing before you deliver the line. After you say these two things or make up your own, DON’T try and recover and get the girl-just make the approach as bad as you can possibly make it. You might feel uneasy and dumb saying these things but those feelings will eventually go away. Each time you get rejected badly you will get closer and closer to not giving a shit what other people think about you and you will stop caring about the outcome of the situation. Releasing attachment and concern for other’s opinion of you will GREATLY improve your success with women and all other areas of your life. After a while you will actually begin to enjoy being rejected because of how funny it will become to you. Your skin will be so thick that nothing she does will be any concern of yours. It will no longer send you down a spiral of depression and completely ruin your night. I’m sort of sadistic in nature; I’m not sure what I enjoy more, being rejected badly or getting the girl. I’m leaning towards to former because getting the girl is enjoyable but getting rejected harshly in a hilarious way is damn entertaining. -Alex

184

Social Superstar

Bust Through Your Comfort Zone
Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 08/08/2008

I´m sitting here at an outdoor internet cafe in Medellin, Colombia staring at the beautiful city surrounded by mountains, and all I can think is ¨just three years ago I used to shit myself at the thought of vacationing to Colombia.¨ I would literally freeze up imagining myself alone in Colombia. I had visions of corrupt police, rampant drug wars, kidnappings, violence, and theft. Although I had visited Brazil and Argentina on several occasions, Colombia was on a short list of places that I was too scared to venture. Well, all it took was the persuasion of one hot Colombian girl, and here I am. It's my third day here and I feel this incredible weight lifted off of my shoulders. I have always prided myself in my sense of adventure... and I cringed at the thought that there were places I was avoiding out of fear. Well, I broke through my fear... only to find that they were completely unwarranted. Yes, completely unwarranted. Like most of our fears. I´ve been giving a lot of thought about what contributes to that stealth inner game that some guys seem to have. I´ve actually been building a list of traits and actions we can make our own to slowly reach that unstoppable confidence we all want. And on that list is: THE DRIVE AND ABILITY TO BREAK THROUGH OUR COMFORT ZONES We all have comfort zones. We are comfortable with a certain group of friends. We are comfortable at certain bars and clubs. We are comfortable dating a certain scale of girls. We are comfortable performing a certain type of job. We are comfortable making a certain income... But what I´ve come to realize is that the truly confident and successful people rarely stay in their comfort zone long. Confident, successful people are always looking to push and challenge themselves. They are
185

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

always on the lookout for new opportunities that will inspire them to be an even better person. The main reason that most of us stay in our comfort zone is fear. Sure, we will claim to really like hooking up with chubby girls. Or really love that townie bar around the corner from our house.... but what we are really saying is ¨We are not willing to take the risk to find out if something better exists.¨ But the fact remains: Something better does exist. But we won´t ever attain it if we aren´t willing to sacrifice comfort for a little while. Here is my advice: Take Action Make a list of people, places, and actions that are a part of your comfort zone. Do you go to the same hair stylist because you love their haircut, or are you afraid to try someone else? Do you find yourself heading to the same bar? Buying the same polo t-shirts? Hitting on the same scale of girls? Going for the same type of job? Make a list of everything that falls within your comfort zone. Once you´ve created a list of things that make up your comfort zone; make another list. This is your Action List. On this list write down one step you can take towards breaking out of your comfort zone. Write the name of a bar you´ve always wanted to check out. Write the image change you´ve been dying to make. Write down the job you´ve always wanted to apply for. Now look at that list. And do everything on it. You want unstoppable inner game? Then do it. Do it.

186

Social Superstar

10 Ways to Immediately Make Yourself More Attractive
Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 04/06/2008

You want to see immediate results? You want to start getting more phone numbers, more looks, more compliments? Then implement these simple ten steps now and you’ll have more dates than you can handle. Tip #1- Improve your Posture Most people don’t realize the importance of posture. But it says more about you than anything that comes out of your mouth. Bad posture can make you look bored, depressed, or just plain homely. Improving your posture starts with becoming aware of it. Just being aware of excessive slouching will force you to take action right then. Toning your muscles through exercise will also help enhance posture. Place your head squarely on top of your neck, make sure your shoulders are upright and your back is arched forward. This will make you appear taller and more confident. Be sure to leave your arms relaxed and loose. A great way to improve posture is to remain active throughout the day. This will prevent your body from being molded the wrong way. Tip #2- Smile A smile can literally light up a room. A man or woman who walks around flashing a smile will always be perceived to be more attractive. With a healthy smile, we are able to transmit the emotions within our hearts. It is very true that our smile reflects our mood, personality and even our inner health. Smiling makes you seem warmer, more inviting, confident, happy… but the best part is that a great smile can make someone else feel all of these same emotions and attach them to you. The best way to improve your smile is by practicing in front of a mirror. Make sure that what you're intending as a smile isn’t coming off as a smirk. Also pay attention to your teeth. Nice teeth are a cornerstone of a good smile. If you’re teeth are yellow consider getting them whitened. It is also important to stay on top of dentist visits. Tip #3- Tanning
187

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Don’t misunderstand this tip as a call for you to turn yourself into an orange oompa loompa. Orange skin is not attractive. But some healthy looking color can benefit anyone, especially in the winter time when our complexions tend to get pale. I would generally recommend tanning a few times a month. I usually go just enough to have color, but not so much that people can recognize that I’ve been tanning. Tan skin makes you look thinner, healthier, and tends to make your clothes look better against your skin. It also helps hide imperfections in your complexion. Tip #4- Be Flirtatious Someone who knows how to flirt effectively will always attract more of the opposite sex than someone who solely relies on their looks. Flirting is an art form that if you can master you will be a few steps ahead of the competition. Flirting is essential in creating sexual tension. They key to flirting is achieving a sense of relaxed playfulness. Teasing is a great way to flirt. As is competitive flirting which takes the form of slight sarcasm and dry wit. Cooperative flirting is different. Rather than jabbing her, you pull her into your reality and create an “us against the world” dynamic. Flirting is a mix of pushing away with words and pulling in with actions. In the game of flirting think back to how you acted towards that classmate you had a crush on in the fourth grade… and act the same exact way. Tip #5- Get an Expensive Haircut The haircut needs to be great. It is very easy to go the cheap route when it comes to getting your haircut and head to the local Supercuts. This won’t cut it if your goal is to immediately make yourself more attractive. The key here is going to a salon that has a great reputation. These salons will usually cost you much more than your local barber… but it's worth it. Movie stars look like movie stars because they have the best that money can by making them look that way. Even if it is only a one time deal you deserve to get a “movie star” haircut. Stylists at these salons know how to shape a haircut around your particular face, head size, and personal style. There will be a huge difference. Even if you can’t afford to
188

the more attractive you will be perceived to be.Hang Around Attractive People Humans look for short cuts when it comes to forming their own opinions.Learn how to Dance If you want to attract the attention of the opposite sex during a night on the town you should consider learning how to dance.Stay Well Kept and Well Groomed There are grooming tips that you can implement immediately that will drastically increase your attractiveness. On the other end if you’re an above average looking person but you hang out with the local riff raft people will look for your negative qualities to explain why you’re slumming. This includes nose hair. If you are not a naturally good dancer I would recommend taking some dance lessons. Tip #8. acne. ear hair. So if we see an average looking girl hanging around a bunch of models we will tend to look for her better qualities to justify her being there. the more attractive the company you keep. at least you can take some pictures of yourself and plaster your MySpace profile with them! Tip #6. You can usually find dance lessons locally.Social Superstar continually get your hair cut at these more expensive salons. We tend to look for reasons that will support our reality. People like to make opinions quickly. I would usually recommend taking a few individual lessons before you jump into the 189 . controlling dandruff. thus increasing their perceived attraction. The same can be said for an average looking guy who walks into a bar with a beautiful woman… everyone in the bar will look for his positive qualities to reason it. A good dancer is immediately perceived to be more sexual. Eliminating a unibrow alone can change the look of your face. cleaning wax out of your ears. The first is getting rid of all unwanted hair. The lessons are usually available in group form and individual form. Others actions that you can take is cutting your nails. facial hair (especially if you’re a girl). It is much easier to let others guide us. And one of the easiest ways to do this is to lump you in with the company you keep. And pluck your eye brows. Tip #7. and inappropriate body hair. or other skin conditions. Therefore.

earrings. the better you smell. Good use of accessories will make you more noticeable in a crowd. glasses. you should seriously consider added some flash to your look. Too much of a good thing can be a turn off. Accessories are items you can add to your outfit to give you some added flash. the purchase of a good cologne or perfume is a great investment.Add Accessories to your Wardrobe If you take notice of most celebrities the one thing you’ll find in common with all of them is that they all make use of accessories. And can spark animal like sexual attraction. Although taste is subjective. Tip #9. hats. Tip #10. and that you are confident in your ability to pull off wearing these things. necklaces. and scarves. the more attractive you will be appear to the opposite sex. bracelets. 190 . One thing is for certain. My recommendation is to sample a few different brands and ask a member of the opposite sex to judge.The Best of TSBMAG. Accessories include belts. It is the sense that provokes the most intense emotions. Adding these things to an outfit shows that you put thought into the way you look. Ideally you can have several different men or women give you their opinions on which one is the best.COM group classes. Once you purchase a fragrance make sure you put just the right amount of it on. There is a theory that pheromones play a huge part in sexual attraction and I would not argue with that at all. While you may not choose to go that extreme. It may cost a few dollars but you will be amazed to see what kind of response you get next time you're asked out onto the dance floor. There is a term called “peacocking” which means purposely dressing in a way to draw attention to you.Smell Good Smell is one of the brain’s strongest senses. watches.

2. 1. Swimming. or biking should be enough to get the process in gear. They seem almost elusive at times. the Stairmaster. although they looked SWEET! Unfortunately I let myself go over the last year… and we all know that while abs take awhile to build. Cardio.. For me though. Cardio.Social Superstar 3 Tips for Abs of Steel Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 06/19/2008 Abs are like a prized possession. Nothing beats jogging or running. Everyone knows that the trick to getting rid of fat is cardio. It will take a minimum of three to four days a week of intense cardio to burn the amount of calories needed to shed fat around your gut. which in turn bring up the value of anyone who takes off their shirt to display a six pack. 20 minutes on the treadmill while reading a magazine and chatting on the phone won’t cut it. What makes abs so desirable is that most people aren’t willing to put in the effort it takes to get them. the elliptical. Here are three tips that I’ve found helpful during the times in my life that I’ve reached my desired outcome. jumping rope. Proper Nutrition: I think a problem many people have is that once they start working out and burning calories they look at it as a free pass 191 . Three to four sessions a week of intense jogging. efficient. But sometimes it's good to remember how basic it can be to get what we want… with the proper discipline.. What people fail to realize is that the cardio needs to be intense. running. and taking aerobics classes are beneficial as well. and effective method of burning calories. they disappear in an instant. These are no secrets… Because there is no short cut. This makes people fascinated with them. and Cardio: You can do a million crunches a day… but if you’ve got a solid layer of fat covering your abs you’ll never see them. the periods in my life where I’ve had abs… have always been more about the sense of personal accomplishment then about how they looked…. It is the most intense. hiking.

Drink at least a gallon of clean water each day as well.COM to pig out.Grab a dumbbell. Cable Rope Crunches . and glutes. The Five Best Abs Exercises Weighted Crunches . then back up. you need to add resistance (weight) to your abs exercises. But the contraction is the same. 30 degree contraction until you feel the abs contract. you’ll never get to the point where you’re body starts converting fat into energy. you are on your knees. Just a slight.The Best of TSBMAG. Stick with a heavy enough weight where you can handle 10-15 reps. pecs. and bend downwards.Grab the triceps rope. but no more. 192 . You are now using your abs more to work against the leverage the dumbbell has created. I seriously know girls who finish their workouts and head to Hagen Daz for a Sundae. and perform regular crunches. It will help in nutrient absorption and digestion and will help flush toxins from the body. If you want proper abs development. carbs moderate (40%). only. kneel on your knees. The same goes for abdominals. Abs are muscles just like biceps. Would you work your biceps out with no resistance? Or your chest? Here’s an important key. You should keep protein intake high (approximately 50% of daily calories). The whole point of spending all that time burning calories is to start burning the excess fat. Don’t swing with the hips. forcefully contracting your abs on the way down. Not eating on time or at all is almost as bad as eating too much. triceps. hold for a couple seconds. Working out Your Abs: The biggest mistake that most people make when trying to build abdominal muscle is that they do sets of crunches or sit ups without any resistance. you are not using the abs very much if you do. Remember. or let it lie on your upper chest. You need resistance to properly strengthen and build them. But it is important to get something in you. either hold it in front of your face. If you’re filling yourself up with shitty foods. under your chin. and fats minimal (10%). you need to create enough resistance where your abs are forced to work. It’s basically a crunch.

193 .Social Superstar Weighted Leg Raises . They are effective at strengthening your core region. with your hands tucked under your butt.com has a really great free personal trainer course that will set you in the right direction. Stability Ball Crunches . If at the same time you’re eating healthy and burning calories you should be seeing results in a couple months. then raise them about 12-16 inches from the ground and then back down slowly.Lie flat on your back. Start with your feet about 6 inches from the ground.Working on the stability ball will incorporate balance into your abdominal work. These can be done on the end of a bench as well. hold for a couple seconds. then back up. Wrap your feet around a small dumbbell. which is your abs and lower back. A couple months of intense workouts are a small price to pay for abs of steel. Seated Abs Machine . As you can see doing these exercises while adding some resistance will build muscle much quicker and in larger gains. just far enough (30 degrees) to fully contract the abs. This is very similar to Cable rope crunches. If you’re unsure of proper nutrition or just need a good plan to follow Bodybuilding. do not swing all the way down.Once again. and perform leg raises.

Never order anything they are going to serve you in a plastic cup. Your drink always serves two purposes: to get you hammered. do you? I mean all of my most memorable nights have involved me waking up. “what the hell happened last night?” So the real question isn’t should you or shouldn’t you drink when you hit the bars… the real question is what kind of drink will best serve your purpose. or bottom shelf tequila drowned in sour mix… but you look cheap drinking 194 .COM A Manly Guide to Choosing Your Drink Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 06/30/2008 There is a dirty rumor in the pick-up community claiming it is better to stay sober when gaming women in bars and clubs. maybe a Pina Coloda… but there are certain rules you need to follow in social environments. Yea… you’re game tends to be a little tighter when you’re not red faced. You know… the $1 Miller Light draft or the $3 Margarita. these are all part of the show. You don’t think I actually enjoy the endless rounds of SoCo and lime shots I guzzle down. looking at the girl next to me and thinking. The rules bend a little depending on the location… but certain ones are set in stone. These plastic cup drinks are usually reserved for the drink special of the night. wobbly. and to make you look cool in the process. These drinks not only taste like shit as they’re usually stale beer.The Best of TSBMAG. We can argue semantics… but I’ll just say you’ll never see Bobby Rio clinging to a club soda. If I drank alone I’d probably be sipping Bay Breezes or some kind of Dairies. No. or the unnecessary twelve packs I always grab for the after party. You tend to find this atrocity at bars that are near college campuses. and slurring your words… but you don’t have as much fun. Shit I hate the taste of booze.

Back in his day. The only exception to this rule is ordering a Margarita at a Mexican joint. Drinking one of the “vacation” drinks sends out the vibe that you don’t get out often. Because someone is going to hear you order it.Social Superstar them. or Kamikaze is off limits. In fact it says that your life sucks so bad that trolling around this shitty bar is actually an “event” for you. What does it say to everyone that you will sacrifice the enjoyment of your drink to save a buck? Hell. Rocks glasses are cool.” Generally. 195 . I would pay extra to have them pour it in a pint glass. And I don’t care how good you think it taste… you are never ever to order a Cosmo. rye and coke. Malibu Bay Breeze. Anything ordered on the rocks looks cool. and they drank scotch on the rocks. Sex on the Beach. It doesn’t much matter what’s in the glass so long as it’s clear or brown. men were men. Remember clear or brown… I don’t care how much you liked the Big Lebowski it’s never acceptable to order a White Russian. There will be times when you freeze like a deer in headlights when the bartender asks “what you drinking. even if I planned on drinking Miller anyway. Never. Never. The name of the drink is more important than what is inside it. Buttery Nipple. Manhattan. Let’s face it. You think this one would be self explanatory but I never fail to see some schlep slurping on Mudslide wondering why he hasn’t been laid in a year. Never order anything frozen or served in a novelty glass with a funny straw… unless you’re sitting on a beach in the Caribbean. anything with a novelty name like Alabama Slammer. or inevitably some girl will ask you what you’re drinking. and you don’t want to have to respond “Fuzzy Navel.” Your first reaction may be to spit out “Michelob Ultra” but you need to regroup and imagine what your grandfather would have ordered. rusty nail… they didn’t ruin the integrity of their vodka by splashing cranberry juice in it. A safe bet is to order something your grandfather would have drank.

196 .COM So remember it is quite alright to get a little sauced when you hit the bars… in fact I even encourage it.The Best of TSBMAG. But you must look cool in the process.

This is not to say that your body couldn’t benefit from extra testosterone. To put it bluntly. and even a slight increase in its level will provide many amazing benefits. I’m going to give you tips to naturally increase your testosterone. Obviously the major reason being that the increase in testosterone most anabolic steroids produce causes extraordinary gains in muscle mass. Taking steroids is a coward’s way out that leads nowhere fast. Not only are steroids an expensive habit. Benefits of increased testosterone’ * Increase in strength and muscle size * Body fat decrease * Increased sex drive and endurance * More energized and motivated * Decrease in bad cholesterol * Makes you more attractive to women Increasing testosterone can be a huge benefit to you.Social Superstar 7 Steps to aturally Boost Testosterone Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 07/09/2008 There seems to be a huge fascination with guys taking steroids lately. Here’s the biology behind testosterone: 197 . In addition to the gains in muscle mass many guys become addicted to the adrenaline rush of having excess testosterone flowing through their veins. While they would tell themselves it was going to be only one time… soon they became reliant on them and were doing cycle after cycle. Instead of cheating and doing it the artificial way that will drain your wallet and health. I’ve seen many of my friends succumb to the lure of steroids. Testosterone is the most important muscle building hormone in your body. the side effects can be brutal in the short term… and deadly in the long term.

dead lifts. These exercises include squats. radishes. Soy has been known to raise estrogen levels which decrease testosterone levels. 2. 4. Fill your work out with compound exercises. sexual. fish. Limit Cortisol production. cabbage. dips. the adrenal glands release DHEA into the bloodstream. LH and DHEA then travel together to the testes where testosterone production begins. 6. You can also reduce estrogen by limiting the amount of soy protein you take in. Cortisol is produced during times of high stress or anxiety. True gains in muscle and testosterone come when you push yourself to the limit at the gym. Increase consumption of Essential Fatty Acids. and turnips. LH basically “tells” the body to start producing testosterone. avocadoes. Push yourself 110% at the gym. flaxseed. Reduce Estrogen levels. cauliflower. and this also raises testosterone. 3. Sexual stimulation causes the body to increase the production of oxytocin which increases endorphin production (the “feelgood” chemical). Eliminate Binge Drinking. 7. and attractive. These 7 steps will provide that natural boost in testosterone that will leave you feeling more healthy. 5. Exercises that put your muscles under the most amount of stress will force your body to produce more testosterone. You can reduce estrogen by eating more cruciferous vegetables like broccoli. lunges. vibrant. Testosterone can now be released into the bloodstream to perform its magic.The Best of TSBMAG. Cortisol is a catabolic hormone that will cause testosterone to plummet. and military presses. Reducing the levels of estrogen (the main female hormone) will greatly increase your testosterone. Once this occurs. It is also produced during times of lack of sleep. the brain releases a substance called Luteinizing Hormone. and canola are a proven natural way to boost testosterone. Excessive alcohol consumption can drastically reduce testosterone levels. 198 . bench presses. The EFAs found in peanuts. If you follow these 7 steps you can avoid having to resort to sticking needles in your ass a couple days a week. or “LH” for short. It is best to keep your drinking to a minimum and try not to exceed more than three drinks in a night. Have more sex. olives.COM First. 1.

Social Superstar How to aturally Increase Energy Levels Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 07/16/2008 Last night I took my girl to the Bon Jovi concert at MSG. Make sure you consume complex carbohydrates and not just simple carbohydrates. 5 Ways to Naturally Increase Your Energy As easy as it seems to pop a Stacker 3. Continuously feed your body small amounts of complex carbohydrates to get the most out of your diet. We got home extremely late. You’ll simply get fat and become lazier than before. Without it we are virtually useless. Think about how much more you would accomplish in life if you had an endless supply of energy. The carbs that you should be taking into your body should be complex carbohydrates such as whole grain bread. vegetables. After struggling to find the motivation to begin writing … I decided to hit 7-11 for my second Red Bull of the day. down a Red Bull. and it took me another hour to wind down enough to sleep. whole grain rice or even apples. but short lived. 1. I was exhausted this morning. Nutrition. jolt of energy I decided to do some research into how I can naturally increase my energy level. After guzzling the Red Bull and feeling that instant. 199 . Examples of simple carbohydrates would be candy. Needless to say. cake and table sugar. You might not get that instant gratification that a Red Bull will give you. Energy is the fuel we all run on. Don’t feed your body junk. but over time you’ll slowly find you no longer need to flood your body with caffeine. soda. Simple carbohydrates create a short burst of energy that will simply wear off and leave you depressed. proteins and complex carbohydrates in your everyday diet. or hit Dunkin Donuts for your fourth cup of coffee… these are all temporary fixes that will leave you even more depleted in the long run. Make sure you get enough fruits. Everything listed below will increase your energy level for the long term.

3. but on average we need about 7-8 hours of sleep a night. It includes: * Strengthening the muscles involved in respiration in order to better move oxygen in and out of the lungs. The fact is. The enzyme then acts as a catalyst in the chemical reactions that transfer energy from the basic food elements to the body. Get the right amount of sleep Everyone’s body is different. to better transport oxygen throughout the body.The Best of TSBMAG. Even if you hate the idea of spending time in the gym. Modern diets are usually void of many of the key vitamins and minerals our bodies need. What most people fail to realize is that even though you’ve 200 . * Working the body’s muscles which support healthy circulation and blood pressure. you can be taking a jog at the track. Conditioning Conditioning is your efficiency to move oxygen and blood to needed parts of the body. 2. * Increases the number of red blood cells in the body. It gets messy and expensive. joining in a game of basketball or ultimate Frisbee. I actually went through a period of about six months where I had completely given up caffeine and replaced morning coffee with a homemade juice. or just taking a morning power walk around the park. compounds that unite with a protein component called an apoenzyme to form an active enzyme. If you live an exceptionally active life style you might want to supplement with an additional B complex. Another great way to get bursts of nutrients that your body needs is by using a juicer. but it truly works wonders for energy. By taking a daily multi vitamin you can be sure you’ll be getting the daily recommended amount of all of them. Conditioning takes place through daily exercise. The B vitamins act as coenzymes.COM In addition to proper diet you should be taking a multi vitamin every day. most of us don’t exercise nearly as much as we should be. I would advice picking up a decent juicer along with a book on good juicing recipes.

A good way to stay motivated is to create a picture album or collage of your goals. In this photo album or collage paste pictures of things you’re striving for.lie down an hour earlier. If you still find that you’re having trouble getting a thorough night sleep you might want to take some supplements that support sleep patterns such as ZMA and Melatonin. last night after lying in bed at about 1:00 am. got up several times to use the bathroom. I tend to be lifeless the rest of the day. Being forced to look at your goals forces you to think about what you have to do to achieve them. You also want to avoid getting too much sleep. Everywhere I look from the minute I wake up. Sometimes we need to be motivated by the promise of extreme pleasure or the fear of extreme pain. the body you want. Using myself as an example. and to my television. You need to make sure that you are getting 8 hours of restorative sleep. Motivation One of the surest ways to get you pumped full of energy is to get yourself in a completely motivated state.Social Superstar been lying in your bed for 8 hours does not mean you got 8 hours of solid sleep. not sleeping pills. I tossed and turned. I’ve taped the index cards to my computer. There is no hiding from them. found myself too hot. to my bathroom mirror. limit your beverage intake to two hours before bedtime. If you find you have to continually go to the bathroom throughout the night. One of the ways that I’ve been doing that lately is by writing all of my goals on index cards. I would advise you to avoid sleeping more than the recommended 8 hours. These pictures can include pictures of the car you want. the girl you 201 . Knowing what your goals are is not always enough to motivate some of us. and then too cold. If you know you have a tendency to toss and turn for an hour before finally falling asleep. I am forced to stare at my goals. adjusting the pillow every 3 minutes… before finally falling asleep at about 2:30. I said supplements. Remember. I find that when I stay in bed an extra hour or two in the morning. 4.

take a picture of yourself in a swim suit. 202 .COM want. I will make sure I play these songs while I’m busting my butt on cardio as they always push me to go the extra mile. On the opposite side of that. What has been remarkable is that even away from the gym. the first thing I do is listen to one hour of one of these speakers on my IPod. when I hear these songs I get that burst of motivation I usually feel on the treadmill. I have been flooding my mind with motivational audio programs like Tony Robbins. Music is another great way to create an anchor. Jim Rohn. For some people the pain of seeing themselves look less than desirable will motivate them to get off their ass. These speakers. I am naturally more energized in the morning. I’ve found that since I’ve gotten used to being pumped up in the morning from the audio… that now. you can post a picture of yourself with your less than ideal body weight. If you’re trying to lose weight. Every morning. and Jack Canfield. especially Tony Robbins. Anchoring This is something that I’ve been using lately to great success. I’ve done this with working out. 5. There are a couple songs I listen to over and over again at the gym. If you listen to a certain song continually during times you feel completely motivated… you’ll be able to recreate that feeling just by hearing the song. If you follow these 5 tips you should be able to slowly wean yourself off the Red Bull. and force yourself to see it daily. even on days I skip listening to the audio. do a great job of pumping me up. the career you want… Anything that will inspire you and get your mind racing.The Best of TSBMAG.

is that there is little or no synergy with the entire wardrobe. sport coats. I mean all of them.Social Superstar How to Redo Your Wardrobe Written by Michael Stoute Original Published: 07/24/2008 This is a 3 part series I am writing about how to redo your wardrobe. shoes. replace it with more so you can stay style fat! After you have everything organized. You have to manage your wardrobe just like your food supply. hats. t-shirts. shorts. suits and underwear. this article is about how to throw away your clothes to get ready to redo your wardrobe. not season. A common problem is that men put things away because it’s “winter” clothes and then forget about them over time. jackets. Yes. shirts. One of the biggest problems I see when I look at what guys wear. Go down stairs or in the attic and pull out everything you own for all seasons and events. • • • They always wear (piece of clothing) because it goes with everything A majority of their wardrobe is the med to their personal interests Most of the stuff is old and anything new was a onetime purchase (event) You Need Some Clarity So you want to dress cool and be hip? It all starts with understanding what you’re working with and getting rid of what you don’t wear. This makes things hard for a number of reasons. There is a reason that you do this first and you will understand by the next article in the series. When you’re running out of something. pants. Organize by Type Get all your clothes together. Now organize everything by type. never forget the underwear… 203 . or better yet their closet.

Homework Study the remaining clothes or pictures of them and get ready for Part 2. If you are looking at something and saying “but I have always had this” or “this is my lucky t-shirt”. either with photos. dump it or wash it and put it in a box somewhere that you will bury as a time capsule for aliens to find in the future. If you don’t wear too many colors (like most men) this will not be hard and may not even be necessary. then print them out on a cheap color printer so that you can just cut them out like photos. Let’s start with colors first. Most people only wear 15-25 different items on a regular basis yet everyone has a closet full of crap. The only way this will work is if you get rid of everything you don’t wear so that you can see what you actively have to work with. These are your staple outfits that you currently wear. Part 2 If you read the previous post in this series “The Throw Away”.The Best of TSBMAG. Now I want you to either write down or take pictures (preferred) of what you currently have and wear on a regular basis.COM Throw it Out! Go through each pile and start throwing out everything you don’t wear. pen and paper or in your head Now it’s time to move into the second phase. then you have already gone through your entire wardrobe and thrown away what you didn’t need following the process I outlined. Mix and Match I want you to go through all your remaining clothes and see what actually goes together. 204 . If you take digital pictures. What’s’ Left? If you haven’t been clothes shopping too much lately then you are probably left over with a relatively small amount of clothing. You have also looked at all the remaining items and studied them.

The reason this part requires money is simple. Your initial investment… Take some of your hard earned money and get ready to shop. I rarely buy things full price and I always visit the clearance section of every store I go to first. The jeans should run you about $50$75… Shirts and Tops To start things off you want to pick up 3-4 new shirts/sweaters or some kind of top. it’s time to put on the finishing touch on your new wardrobe. I suggest going to the GAP and buying 2 nice pairs of boot cut jeans to add to your current wardrobe. 205 .Social Superstar Look at what you currently have and see what your outfit possibilities are. This way you can wear something different for 10 days and do laundry every 5 days. You should be able to find 3-4 or more nice things for around $75$100. If you don’t have any decent jeans. Try to make 5 different outfits out of what you have. The ideal set of different outfits is 10 in my opinion. always leaving you with clean clothes! (+ $250) Now that you have thrown away unused clothes and picked out some outfits with the remaining. I would say go to Marshalls or some other “Yesterdays Fashion” outlet and look through the clearance racks. but before you go I want you to remember the 5 outfits that you are working with already and/or take pictures of them with you. $250 is a fair amount for a man to spend on his wardrobe in one day. clothes cost money and you will always have to invest money into your wardrobe to keep it updated. but just think of it as a kick start to your new image. Men can typically wear the same or similar jeans over and over without any problem so my guess is that you probably are going to take a bulk of this money and spend it on tops. Think about the weaker points of your wardrobe and what you need most. The reason I wanted you to make 5 different outfits is because you want to be able to “recycle” what you wear every week so that you are not wearing the same thing every day and for laundry reasons as well. If you used any of the clothing items in more than one outfit. then this is a clue where the weakest part of your wardrobe lies.

Don’t buy that crazy shirt because you will wear it once every 3 weeks and feel like a pimp. Comfort is so important with shoes and I urge you to make sure they are comfortable or you will never end up wearing them.The Best of TSBMAG. So check out what you already have before spending a lot of money. take a step back and think of how many other things you own and how this shirt can be meshed in with your current clothing arsenal. They tend to stay in style through all of the different fashion cycles. 206 . Stay away from the high end brands for now unless you can afford them of course. Shoes are a different story. Take your time and pick out a nice pair of shoes that are not too flashy so that you can wear them with almost anything. Adidas. If you are looking at a cool shirt. I like to compare clothes shopping to food shopping because when you go food-shopping you are always thinking of ways to maximize what you currently have in your fridge and cabinets. whatever fits your current lifestyle better. For sneakers. buy the nice button down shirt because is not so flashy and will blend well with your other outfits therefore allowing you to wear it 2-3 times over a 3 weeks period. Same thing with clothes shopping except you are constantly looking for things that will add to and extend your existing wardrobe. Shoes and Sneakers With the reaming money I would like you to buy a new pair of sneakers or shoes.COM Clothes Shopping is like Food Shopping Remember while shopping at the store to keep your current wardrobe inventory in mind. Before buying a pair of shoes I would look through your closet for any old shoes you may have forgotten about. I would recommend something in the Converse. Shoes that are made well will last and if they fall apart can usually be fixed. or Puma family. If you have to buy a new pair I would suggest trying on a lot of different kinds with a pair of jeans on to see which ones look and feel the best. You might find a pair or two of decent leather shoes that you can just take to the shoe shop and get shined and fixed up.

Part 3 This is the 3rd and final installment of the How to Redo Your Wardrobe series. If you follow this method when buying clothes you will have more outfits than you can think of as time goes on. Just because an item of clothing is nice and looks good in the store isn’t enough to buy it.Social Superstar And always remember to keep in mind what you already have including what you buy during this process. It has to mesh well with what you already have for you to get the most value out if it. As your wardrobe gets bigger you will be able to throw in more “loud” items. Let’s say you are willing to spend $100 a month to finance your wardrobe (which is not a lot). adding new items one at a time. With this $100 I would be looking to buy 3 to 4 new items a month. In this part of the series. Systems and Schedules The easiest way to keep a nice wardrobe going is to build it in baby steps. When you are out shopping. but in the beginning keep thinks basic using solid colors and common styles. This means you have to go shopping 3-4 times a month. I will talk about how to constantly increase your wardrobe at a moderate pace so you don’t go broke and how to “peacock” (stand out) with items no matter what your age or profession. There is a time and a place to add a “peacock” aspect to it and I will explain how in the final part of the series. You have to keep that food shopping mentality I talked about in the previous article of the series. Most men will go shopping for clothes every once in a while and just buy a few things that look good. In the previous two articles we systematically removed clothes you no longer wear and then preceded with a plan to kick start your new wardrobe with a small amount of money. keep mental notes of what you already have in your closet. but I would still suggest only buying 1-2 items at a time. Split up the money so you spend around $25 a week on say a new shirt or pair of pants. Constantly be buying things that will fit in with what you already have. then they typically go home and realize that these new items don’t fit in to well with their current wardrobe and get frustrated. “Pea cocking” without looking like an idiot 207 . You can up the monthly allowance if you like.

he he What I am basically saying is that as a young person with no job.. Just remember that “staple” items are needed no matter what. if you don’t already. you have to go with the trend at times to “peacock” and demonstrate that you know what’s up… When you buy trendy items. This is the time where you are going to be experimenting with a lot of things in life so why not your wardrobe too. you can’t even wear it anymore. If you are constantly buying this trendy crap then soon you will have a wardrobe like a clown. stuck in one style because if the people you hang with or just lost altogether and are still wearing the clothes your parents bought you for birthdays. but still ugly as sh*t.The Best of TSBMAG. 208 . BUM Equipment was huge when I was in HS and that sh*t is UGLY! Then there were those heat activated fabrics that changed colors when you touched it. I will break this down in 2 separate categories. On the other hand. Having these “staple” items will allow you to evolve with the trends while maintaining a nice foundation for your entire wardrobe. The problem with this concept is that everyone is different and therefore has to “peacock” in a different way. Great examples of this were certain brands and t-shits when I was young. Have plenty of solid shirts and pants that you can use when wearing your “trendy” item(s). the playing field is open to almost anything in the style department. Age 17-21 This is the age range where you are probably all over the place with finding yourself and an image.COM Pea cocking is a term that has become associated with men adding certain items to their wardrobe to stand out. You may be wearing a lot of different styles. I feel most of the problem centers around age difference and profession and I will illustrate how you can “peacock” no matter who or where you are in life. As for the young professionals out there. make sure that they can fit in with what you currently have and aren’t so crazy that when they fade out.. Wherever you are in this phase it doesn’t matter. great for Kino now that I think of it. Styles with young adults change so quickly that I suggest keeping things simple and looking for some trendy items. You don’t want to be the person wearing all the different trends because you will look like you are trying too hard.

The tie is one of my favorite items to peacock in the professional look.Social Superstar Age 21-30 Professional You are the type of guy that has a nice job where you have to dress in a suit. there are 3 or more distinct ways to tie the knot. I am also going to assume that you have some cash in your pocket to go out and accessorize with. I have yet to see a better knot that has more girth. So if you plan to buy some nice cufflinks. Stay away from pattern shirts with ties unless you are absolutely sure it looks good. I want to take a quick moment to mention that when having to wear a tie every day. Some guys don’t realize that a sport coat is entirely 209 . It gives you that full knot that you see in the men’s fashion ads. which will come with time young Skywalker… Cufflinks . not the cufflink itself. I tend to stay away from the crazier designs of things and keep to basics. shirt and tie. The act of wearing the cufflinks is pea cocking. jacket and tie or at a minimum. cufflinks are for when I wear a tux? Wrong! Yes they are formal. your shirts for the most part should be solid colors. I always go with a Double Windsor and so should you! It is by far the hardest knot to tie. If you are working a job where you have a dress code like this and make crappy money. Ties . Do the same with your cufflinks. Most men don’t realize how versatile the tie can really be…For instance. but it looks so sweet when done right. you may want to reevaluate your alpha male goals. If you haven’t noticed yet. but they have been worn for years in regular suits. clean classy and professional.Now I know what you may be saying. plan on buying a few new shirts to go with them. He he… When picking out ties for patterns and colors I tend to stay with solids and thick stripes. Sport Jackets This is one of my favorite items of clothing and can be done really right or really wrong. If you are a tie freak and own a bunch of wacky designs and stuff then you may want to pick up a few nice silk solids to balance you out. I actually think this is the easiest one to “peacock” out of all the following sections due to the fact you will probably be wearing more clothes in general. The problem with cufflinks is that you need to have special shirts to wear them with.

Sport coats are items that are meant to stand alone and are made with fabrics that are easier to match up with common pants. I own slip on shoes and I do like them. When picking out sport coat styles I would again keep it simple. Funny thing is that you see guys wearing jackets from their bar mitzvah’s and communion’s with a hoodie and it looks stupid.The Best of TSBMAG. As far as the style of the shoe. Being that you won’t likely be wearing a tie or 210 . women will notice the smallest pattern and look…after all they addicted to shoes themselves. Loud shoes often scream cheesy and/or make you look like a fool. Don’t worry. Shoes Shoes are unique part of any man’s wardrobe and they can say a little or a lot about you. It is true that some suit jackets can double as a sport coat. Just go to any store and walk around touching the fabrics in the suits section and then go over to the sport coats and see the difference for yourself. Instead look for cool fabrics to peacock. The simple fact that you don’t have to tie a slip on combined with the laziness factor of men has caused this style to be played out. Real men “peacock” shoes with class and sedulity. but over all I feel they are a little less dressy than the laced styles besides the fact they are getting played out. Lately it is big to wear a sport coat with a hoodie under it and I think it looks pretty sharp. When dressing professional. Don’t forget to wear nice socks and a matching belt! No god dam white socks!!!! Age 21-30 Business Casual and Outside of Work Now let’s say that you work in a nice place but its business casual and/or you are outside of work. but this situation is pretty rare due to the material and look of suits. Forget the designs on the back with that “Ed Hardy” type look. There are a ton of different fabrics for sport coats and the more you shop the more you will discover. I would suggest wearing simple styles with nice textures. I prefer laces to slip on types because I feel they just look better.COM different than the jacket that comes with a suit. This is almost the same principle that I talked about earlier with the sport coat fabrics. it will either look cheap or you will only be able to wear it once in a while.

Ben Sherman…. if not grow up! Touch the clothes as you look through them. This big cuff reminds me a 211 . you will be surprised. Fabrics… I can’t say it enough. women will notice and they will probably touch you just because of it. When buying these types of shirts I almost always go with a designer and/or stick to a few. So let’s talk button downs… There are many different styles and brands of button down shirts but in general I feel most of them look the same and will get you thrown into the mix with the other cookie cutter button down styles. If you are going to go with a cuff in the pants. If you are a magician then you can wear pants with flames and naked girls. Pants and Slacks Fabrics. My personal favorite. they are too old man-ish and hard to keep pressed. make it a nice phat one. I mention Ben Sherman because I like their stuff. Fabrics. Stick with a nice smooth looking nice feeling choice. If you are wearing a nice pair of pants that feel great from the material.Social Superstar sport coat.Their designs are unique and dressy at the same time. feel the difference. Since most of these pants will need to be tailored. I have plenty of unique “no name” button downs that are probably my strongest items and they were purchased at stores like Marshalls and Kohl’s. “Wow. those pants look comfortable!” I would also recommend staying away from pleated designs. When being casual the rules change and the power shifts to other items of your wardrobe. I am going to focus on pea cocking other items I may have told you to tone down in the above section. say 1 ½ inches give or take with your height. Take some chances with it. Shirts In the previous section I mentioned to keep you shirts as solids and use the tie and other accessories to accomplish your James Bond “peacock” style. this allows you another opportunity to add a little “peacock” to it. Being able to pick out unique styles is a skill you hone over time and mixing your wardrobe up like this will keep you from being pinpointed as a “BRAND” whore.

The Best of TSBMAG. I am sure that I may have missed some things or not fully answered your questions so please leave any in the comments below.COM little of that gangster look from the days of Tommy Gun. I think its bad ass… In closing: I hope you have really enjoyed this series and especially this last installment which I worked pretty hard on. Game On! 212 .

Mom and dad will wake you up at noon or so… hung over you’ll start loading the cars up with your microwave. computers… You’ll get to campus around two. it may sound cruel… sure. Most people will generally jump at the lower bunk… (I was one of the late hung-over fools who got the top bunk) But in reality. Sure. there should probably be a more fair way of choosing… but the reality is… the early bird gets the worm. all walking around like clueless tourists… And then you’ll walk into your closet sized dorm room… And your nerdy ass roommate will have already jam packed his stuff into the limited closet space… and even worse… he’ll have claimed the better bed. Yes.Social Superstar Winning the Day 1 College Roommate War Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 08/28/2008 It’s all fair in war… and that is exactly what move in day at the dorms is. fight the traffic and commotion of another thousand underclassmen pushing shopping carts full of their shit. No matter how big of a dick you feel for claiming the best bed. you’ll probably want to spend your last day in your hometown boozing it up with your high school buddies into the wee hours of the night…. If you walk in and find that there are bunk beds… you have instant decision to make. covering the walls with your Pink Floyd and Bob Marley posters… just know… he would do the same thing to you in an instant. there are drawbacks to both: Downsides to the bottom bunk: 213 . Son. TV. posters. most closet space. when it comes to move in day… You need to beat your roommate to the punch.

they’ll crawl into the bottom bunk because the top is too high. For instance. Every time you wake up to piss in the middle of the night you’ve got to climb down half asleep. If you’re a raging drunk. he wants to watch the Mets… it’s 214 . People will always be sitting on your bed when they come in your room. Basically. and want something.The Best of TSBMAG. Chances are you’re roommate will have wanted it… This gives you a great bargaining tool later.COM • • • • • You clunk you head on the supports under the top bunk if you sit up too quickly. and mooch off his big screen TV and 27 inch computer monitor… Always fill the room with as much of your shit as possible. you’re liable to roll off the bed in shitfaced confusion. and computers… As tempting as it sounds to let him haul all his stuff to the dorms. When your roommate climbs down from the top he’ll probably wind up stepping on your head out of spite. As for appliances. you’ve got to climb your ass down and get it. entertainment. If the guy above you is a raging drunk… there is a good chance after a night of hard partying you're likely to get an unwanted golden shower. you want to watch the Yankee game. If someone is drunk and lost… and your room is open. Downsides to the top bunk: • • • • You need to be able to climb in the dark. anytime you’re in bed. Even with the downsides of the bottom bunk… always choose it. As much as you will both try to pretend everything is equal… the guy who owns it unconsciously has final say over how it’s used.

The minute the alarm clock goes off. you’re free to decorate the room as you please. It is crucial during this conversation that you bluff. Remember the first week of college is crucial for establishing yourself as the party guy…. How to be sure you beat him to the room First.Social Superstar your TV… he’ll be checking scores on the internet. He will feel like he’s got all the time in the world to mosey down to campus. Getting there early provides several benefits… you’ll get better parking and fight less of a crowd getting to your dorm. and to do a formal introduction to each other. In the meantime. and more importantly. If he doesn’t have any. hop in the shower. These are not things you want to negotiate. This simple line will give him a false sense of security. Set you alarm clock for 7am and have 2 cans of Red Bull waiting by the bed. 215 . and amaze your parents at how energetic and excited you are to get to campus. The last thing you want is some dweeb hanging pictures his parents brought him back from their last trip to Key West. you’ll have all your shit packed and ready to go the night before. while you’re watching Jeter and company on your big screen. taking first crack at the hotties on your floor. you’ll get the better bed. If you’ve got a lot of posters… bring them all. chances are you’ll speak on the phone a week or two before move in day to discuss what both of you are bringing. guzzle the Red Bull. You tell him that you’ll be getting back late from a trip that afternoon and probably won’t make it to campus until later in the evening. So the sooner you finish the move in bullshit… the sooner you can begin to conquer your campus. you have all the time in the world to socialize later.

kidnap John from his apartment. Jake. Argentina. I mean. Force him into woman’s clothing and throw him in the back of a van. His Spanish friends were downright cruel. The entire drive in the van we are guzzling beers. and we are shouting derogatory things at him while harassing him physically. wine. had no choice but to go along with it. had been with his girl close to two years and was miserable that he wouldn’t be able to tag some new Spanish ass. this is an all time low. and whatever bottle of hard liquor that is currently being passed around. my girl. Out of all our friends. he fell in love with an Argentinean girl. He invited a bunch of us to the wedding. At one point they put duct tape over John’s hairy nipples. was getting married in Buenos Aires. Needless to say we were both ecstatic when we get a call from John’s cousin the first night down there informing us that his bachelor party was tonight. I could write an entire post on the bachelor party alone. John is blindfolded and mouth duck taped. Two years ago a college friend of mine.The Best of TSBMAG. and the rest is history. and then rip it 216 . even by Bobby Rio standards. Jake. I was still within the first 3 months with Kate. A bunch of John’s Spanish friends.COM The Buenos Aires Hooker Juice Incident Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 07/28/2007 I want to prelude this story by saying that this one of those stories that makes me question my own moral character. although not happy to be spending their first night in Argentina alone. We had arrived just in time!! The girls. on the other hand. but the party isn’t the point of the story so I’ll sum it up quickly. John. so I didn’t necessarily mind having her tag along on this trip. but the both of us were in the thick of relationships and our girls jumped at the chance to have a romantic getaway in Buenos Aires. only my friend Jake and I decided to go. and although he had planned to move back to the US. But what’s done is done…. He had lived there the past 4 years. The bachelor party was the one of the craziest experiences I’ve ever seen. We had both been to South America enough times to know not to bring sand to the beach. and I.

wedding preparations. leaving him to be ravaged by Planet of the Shemales. Then they open up the back of the van and make John (still in women’s clothing) run behind the van tied to a leash. and after some back and forth conversation in Spanish that I couldn’t understand. big dinners. let them grope us. They say they can’t leave the bar till 4. just flirt a little bit. I am honestly pretty content at this point with Kate. on what was supposed to be a romantic getaway with my girlfriend. and am in no rush to go sneaking around with strippers.” Meeting them at their apartment was a little more than I bargained for. All the while the stripper’s phone numbers are just burning a hole in our pockets. and I can see how much Jake needs this. Jake who speaks some Spanish asks them if they want to hang out tonight. We take John out of the car and tie him to a fence and pretend to drive away. (The beauty of 3rd world laws) This part of the story climaxed when we arrive in a park that was filled with Transsexual prostitutes. We are sitting on a couch with two of the strippers listening to them tell us how much they love our blonde hair and blue eyes (I think that's code for “I love your money”) Anyway.Social Superstar off. The next couple days of the trip are quite civil. Unfortunately most of John’s friends were married and were more excited about the kidnapping part of the night. So I agree to hang out with the strippers. Our plan is to just meet them for lunch or something. Finally the 4th day into the trip Jake can’t take it anymore… He say’s we have to go meet the strippers. They gave me the address. he turns to me and says “They want us to meet them at their apartment. The strip bar was a full frontal festival of beautiful busty Latinas…or as I like to call it.” 217 . involving a lot of sightseeing. Jake and I had other plans. We let him sweat it out for about a half hour. and getting dragged to every clothing store in the city so that our girls can take advantage of 3rd world bargains. but give us their numbers and make us promise to call them this week. and go home. heaven. We take the numbers and leave. I’ve never seen so many trannies in my life. then we loaded him into the van and headed to the strip bar.” he says. “Just for kicks. but “what the hell. then the titty bar. Jake calls the stripper. But I’m a good friend.

and wait for my change. We are both in shock. a television set. My stripper. and are trying to gauge the other’s desire to go through with this. A cab drops us off in front of a large brick building. and reads two names. confused. who is grinning like a kid in a candy store. comes out of a room and hand signals me to follow her. disappointed. Her body’s alright. I’m really not sure how I’m supposed to proceed with the scenario. The Madame tells us to take a seat. I’m slightly embarrassed by the situation and the fact that a language barrier prevents us from communicating. I walk toward the desk where the Madame asks me for $35.COM We make up some excuse about going to meet John for one last guys only luncheon. After a minute of stern deliberation it is settled. It is immediately clear upon entering the apartment that we have just entered a classic South American Brothel. I just shrug. Jake and I sit and give each other little looks. We will fuck the whores!!! My fake name is called first. Jake looks at me with a “what the fuck” type of look. We make up a couple fake names. We have to walk up 8 floors of stairs to get to their apartment.. and a night stand.The Best of TSBMAG. I look at Jake. The girls look at this as an opportunity to go on a shopping binge without us. There is a Madame sitting at a desk.. We muster up the courage and walk in. roughly $40. disgusted. She asks us who we are here to see. I am quite winded by the time we reach the top and barely notice the 2 two middle aged white men that just exited the apartment we were about to enter. My prostitute’s face is a little less pretty than I remember. except for a really nasty c-section scar. who asks us our names when we enter. She is drenched in hooker perfume (presumably to cover up the smell of her previous appointment) 218 . Jake pulls out his paper with the phone numbers. I feel a little… I don’t want to say sleazy… you know… just a little creped out… but she’s wearing only a robe and I keep hearing my dick say “follow her boy… faster…damnit!!!” A minute later I’m in a dingy little room filled with a small bed. (Yes $35…And our girlfriends thought they were getting bargains in the malls) I hand her about 100 pesos. if by stripper you mean prostitute. and don’t seem to mind our departure. We stand outside the building giggling nervously like a couple of giddy teenagers.

She is happy.. I want to get the fuck out of there… but I don’t want to sit in the lobby waiting for Jake. Show up smelling like a whore. I get out of the bed and begin putting my clothes on. My performance is adequate. “This ain’t fucking funny man. I am no longer turned on. 2. Buy some cologne and drench myself in enough of it to override hooker scent. She is running her hands through my hair and licking my ear. Jake starts sniffing me.. She wants to cuddle… We lay there with about twenty minutes to kill. She just keeps trying to tongue me. He gives me a nod. After briefing one another on the gory details of the last hour. you fucking reek of hooker perfume” “Fuck! That bitch was drenched in the shit. I feel extremely dirty. I may throw up. I back away.” “You need to burn those clothes. Deny and play dumb. But oddly. my dick is quite hard. 219 . and hope Kate doesn’t notice I’m wearing a different outfit. too” Jake is laughing.” I attempt to smell myself several times. I am probably the first guy under forty she’s fucked all day. I think she is telling me she loves me. down the staircase… out the door… and smack into the cold light of day. He moves forward and smells me again. We both hurry out of there… through the halls. “ We go through my options: 1. My prostitute is whispering something in Spanish. shower. “I need a shower badly.. I try to gesture that I have a headache. “Dude. She takes my hand and puts it on her breast... Jake meets me in the lobby a few minutes later. And he wins. if not stellar.. Call John see if I can go to his place. Now that I’ve cum she looks even less pretty and the c-section scar looks even uglier and nastier. She tries to kiss me on the lips. I can’t show up at our hotel smelling like a whore. Her perfume is giving me a headache so I have my face buried in the pillow. 3.Social Superstar She is smiling and rubbing her titties under the robe. borrow clothes.

She grabs my hand and leads me toward them. I point back at Jake. She almost chokes. I start to put my clothes back on and realize that it would be defeating the purpose of washing if I put the smelly clothes back on.COM I call John from a pay phone. He smells his wife (like she might be the one drenched in whore juice) John then walks out of the bathroom and immediately blurts out “What's that smell?” Jake points at me. I am now completely naked scrubbing myself with a sponge that was in his shower. his fiancé there… but so is Mariella’s mother and father. I can only imagine the conversation that is taking place outside the door. I shout “can I come over for a minute” into the phone. Her father gets a whiff of the smell and starts sniffing suspiciously. I try to wave to avoid a handshaking and kiss. neck… fuck it. Everyone in the apartment is completely uncomfortable with the situation. I try to explain my situation but the reception is horrible.. We’re buzzed in and quickly rush up three flights of stairs. Her mother comes over and kisses me on the cheek. He shouts “Sure” Jake and I take a cab to John’s apartment. “You guys went to meet those strippers didn’t you?” “I’ll explain later… can you please get me some clothes to wear?” “Yea… but you’re bigger than me. She introduces us as “John’s amigos de Estados Unidos”. I ask John if I can use the bathroom. Once we get in we notice that not only is Mariella. No one wants to ask me why I smell like I’ve taken a bath in cheap perfume. They’re going to be a little tight. face. I lean out the door and call for John. We jump out of the cab and ring John’s bell repeatedly.The Best of TSBMAG. I reluctantly enter. She motions for us to come in. I am stunned. Once I get in the bathroom I start washing my hands.” “I don’t fucking care… “ 220 . John’s fiancé answers the door. I try to hide my stench behind Jake. She wants to introduce us to them. My mind is blank for an excuse as to why I smell like whore. I take off my shirt and start washing my chest and stomach. We need to take care of this as fast as possible as the girl’s are surely beginning to wonder what's taking us so long. but it's too late.. John comes to the door.

She gives me the “fuck me eyes” I try to tell her that I’m tired. and in an effort to avoid any more embarrassing conversation I quickly announce that we have to meet our girlfriends back at the hotel. Mariella and her parents are still in total shock and barely acknowledge me when I wave goodbye. I hesitantly enter my room. I make up an excuse about spilling spaghetti sauce all over myself at lunch… had to go to John’s to change. So I just go along with it. She is lying in bed… relaxing after a hard day shopping. I thank John for the clothes and grab Jake and we bounce. We finally get back to the hotel. I feel too guilty to speak. Just my luck… she’s horny. But the jeans make me look like an 80’s rocker. She believes my story. She pulls off me for a second. Kate is waiting for me. She is happy to see me. I am afraid I might blurt something stupid out. She starts nibbling my ear. The shirt is not bad.Social Superstar I put on Johns clothes. Then she notices the clothes I am wearing. They are a quite tight on me. Not in the mood… but apparently my tight eighties rocker jeans are turning her on. 221 . “Are you wearing perfume?” she asks. I exit the bathroom.

Yet. You used phrases like “Nice and relaxing” “Catching up on work” “Plowing through novels” “Good restaurants "and “often lonely” to describe the trip. who wakes up early and takes a jog on the beach.” so you don’t worry. Now that you’ve made your token phone calls you feel like you have just been to Confession at church. has fruit for breakfast. Your night began at Amozoa. reads Hemingway at a table outside a café along the water. Your highly acclaimed novels are still buried beneath dirty clothes in your suitcase.The Best of TSBMAG. You’ve always envisioned yourself as the kind of guy. maybe plays a game of tennis.” This morning when you called your mother you felt ashamed. a vaguely tribal feel. He curses you out in Portuguese. You don’t know at exactly what point you deviated from your “ideal self. “No tengo nada” you lie.COM Fortaleza ights Part 1 Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 11/14/2007 You bought three new. well-reviewed. You are still riding the adrenaline rush of last night’s Red Bull and Cialis fueled comet trail of adventure. Bits and pieces are forming shapes in your mind as you sip an espresso and watch the girl’s parade down the strip in their short denim skirts. hiked up for extra effect. and then hits up a local museum. You entered to pounding bongo drums. “Where you from?”A Brazilian guy is shouting in your ear. and a clan of scantily clad Brasileras shaking their stuff on stage to the pulse of the music. or was it Europa? You were already pretty tight when you arrived. 222 . The kind of guy. and make your way to the bar to grab a Bohemia and take in the view. which left you with very few clear memories. who on vacation. you confessed nothing. But Brasileras have no concept of “on time. No sign of the blonde and her friend that you were supposed to meet. You hang up the phone and pay the fifteen Reas for the call. A street kid puts out his hand for coins as he passes you by. sipping a glass of Cabernet. You were here two years ago but that trip was during your “Black Label” phase. novels for this trip. and a liver that still has not forgiven you.

You’re not sure if you welcome company at this time. It’s not like you don’t have options. She shakes her finger “no” but her smile lets you know it okay to continue. But your “well raised” childhood taught you to never be rude. “Estados Unidos. when you near her breast she grabs your hand and places it back on her ass. You politely thank their pimp but tell him “I already have a chica. and you wonder if they could be transvestites. You were quite enjoying your own blurred thoughts and not quite enticed by the idea of engaging conversation with a guy who obviously wants something from you.” You walk back to the bar and order your first of the night. You turn to the girl and go Cave Man on her. “You like Coca.” You check your watch. As you crack open your second Bohemia you wonder if you have the energy to go through with the night. The girl/guy things are giving you “fuck me” eyes and while their gender is not clear. But jerking off in Brazil seemed like an Oxymoron.” you tell him. even when they’re speaking English. For some reason you always feel compelled to speak your broken Portuguese. What you like?” “No necassario. A petite light skinned Brasilera giggles.Social Superstar You wonder if you have the word “gringo” tattooed on your forehead. You run your hand from her ass up the curves of her abdomen. Thinking it might be a pick pocket you swat it away. 223 . You decide to do a lap and see if your blonde and friend have arrived. You wonder if maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing if the blonde doesn’t show up.” you scream back. He calls over probably the only two ugly girls in the club. The guy seems genuinely pleased with himself. All could have been avoided if you had only jerked off when the desire arose earlier in the day. it is certain that they are prostitutes. Maybe a Red Bull will help you “man up. Marijuana?” “Only chicas” you say. You grab her ass like you own it. and visions of “the blonde” naked were like piranhas gnawing on your brain. “You like?” he asks you. You twirl her around and do a once over. You feel a hand graze you butt. “I’ll find you a good one. They both have penciled in eye brows and slicked back jet black hair.

Your swagger has returned. the crazy. the fucked up X heads. never raise a family. It was only yesterday you were busting through language barriers on basis of charm. too many girls… too little time. Sex is all around you. You’re about to head back into that bathroom to dry off when you spot the blonde and her friend on the dance floor surrounded by guys. But first a much need bathroom break. The Red Bull rush has begun. Brasileras aren’t shy about pointing that sort of thing out. the long swanky model types with heartbreaking cheek bones. pointing at buildings…works every time. Fucking “gringos” in their Brasilia Soccer jerseys. Presenting your best self. When you come out of the stall you wish you had given it an extra couple of shakes as you notice a nice wet spot near your crotch. And if they don’t? You look around. the skinny. A situation like this might normally unravel your nerves. There is something fundamentally perfect about being adored.COM “Eu Gusto” you tell her. Those far away eyes. that when the friend arrived unexpectedly. rolled with the punches… And won her over with impersonations of “stupid Americanos” holding your imaginary map. You kiss this one on the cheek. The self. The boom. Back to the bar.The Best of TSBMAG. never have kids. She points to your eyes and tells you they’re beautiful. What do you know? Another Bohemia has bit the dust. the fat.Does it matter? Then you remember staring into her eyes. the barely clothed “garotas de programma” putting their pussy on display. the black girls with huge hoop earrings commanding the dance floor…the punk rockers. you think. It comes in all forms. The one that can keep a girl laughing when she has no clue what you’re saying. foreshadowing all of the reasons that you’ll most likely never get married.boom shaking mulattas. But not now. never do Disney vacations. you think. the beautiful. Curious eyes are set upon you from all directions. the Asian looking ones with sinister eyes. 224 . They’ll come. Throw you off balance a bit. the one with the shaved head. Sit tight my friend. They always do. yesterday at lunch. the sixteen year old debutants. tell her “it was a pleasure” and make your way through the crowd. You are a fucking Star. Yes.

No.Social Superstar When you started to sense that the friend might be the type to be persuaded… you upped the ante…divvied up your attention…treated them equally special. ran their fingers through your hair and kept repeating “muito lindo” you saw the potential for something truly spectacular. 225 . You’re not willing to wave the white flag quite yet. And when the two of them. guards finally down. Jose. No way.

Back at the club you had come out of the bathroom to spot your girls sandwiched in the middle of a group of Norwegians. You’re drunk and go for tongue but both girls resist. he is telling you. You make your Great Gatsby entrance. You rode in like a rock star. You have the waitress deliver the shots to your girls and their new Norwegian friends. Apparently strolling in at 4am with a couple of barely legal Brasileras is frowned upon at this establishment. The girls could not be happier to see you. They reluctantly do the shots… looking around to see who the mysterious stranger is that sent them. You get two kisses on the lips. You want to knock that smug look off his Portuguese face. Rapido! Por Favor” You would be damned to let the night go up in flames at this point. You slovenly escort the two girls outside.there is always tomorrow. Just a few hours ago you were in the mist of the single biggest girl heist of your life. One voice in your head says “Cut your losses.” A louder voice hails down a cab and says “To the cheapest motel. The group is confused. kicking over a flower pot. You get the gist of it though. You felt a little intimidated. You order 8 shots of the Brazilian equivalent of Yagermeiser. Nights early. a girl dangling from each arm. The whole matter could have easily been resolved with a small bribe. He points at the door. No one sent you the memo. you think. You take the blonde by the hand and immediately remove her 226 . But you blew any chance of that happening with your “American sense of entitlement” and incoherent attack on his character.COM Fortaleza ights Part 2 Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 12/02/2007 The night bellman at your hotel is talking loudly at you in a language you don’t understand. Has your Super Americano Power waned? Have your girls been swept away with tales of a booming European economy… You decide to flex your muscles. ordering the cleaning lady to bring a bottle of Scotch up to your room… Pronto! These sorts of things aren’t acceptable in Hotel Luzieros. Fortaleza’s most well known and luxurious hotel.The Best of TSBMAG. You signal over a cocktail waitress.

Pick up some pieces… From the back seat Emelia lets out a squeal. and a girl who turned out to be sixteen. The long winding road that is Avenida Beira Mar travels the course of the night. Raquel. They get closer closer closer…They Kiss. Down the road. You signal for her to come over. You’ll have some contemplating to do when you get home. Manny doesn’t blink an eye as you pass her. In the back seat Raquel is disappearing inside Emelia’s dress. Brazil is a strange place for sure. You trust that Manny is actually taking you to a motel and not to a guerrilla hide out where you will be kidnapped and tortured.from the opulent to the destitute. You think Manny likes you. You look back and feel bad leaving the brunette to the pack of Norwegian wolves. Emelia. And if they don’t we chop you up and feed you to pigs” The girls are too busy to notice. Your “gringo sense of rhythm” is usually a game killer but tonight you’re Michael fucking Jackson. Jackpot! After an hour or two of dry humping the two Brasileras and taking turns kissing them you suggest the bounce. But you aren’t certain. a lone hooker trots on heels. The girls drag you on the dance floor. Manny’s hand is on your knee and he is talking loudly and passionately in Portuguese. He is asking you questions. but can never be sure of these things.Social Superstar from the group. As your cab gets closer you see that she is topless. Rearrange some priorities. Their eyes light up. You take turns grinding with each girl… you look on in disbelief as the girls grind sexually with each other. …Toward dawn you are sitting in the front seat of a cab next to Manny the driver. Outside the street is still tinkered with people. Smile and nod. the blonde is twenty. one hand holding her skirt from riding too far up her ass. You flashback to an incident in Brazil two years prior involving a spotlight. a couple machine guns. You casually ask the girls to see their documents. You reach your hand in the back and one of the girls begins 227 . You smile and nod. Maybe even some life decisions to make. The coast is clear for takeoff. Make you run back to the States. But you don’t want to think about these things right now. He could just as easily be saying “You parents will pay the ransom. Manny could probably tell you stories that would break your heart. the brunette is eighteen.

228 .The Best of TSBMAG. And when they quickly undress. Sandwiched in between the two warm bodies. All your doubts are alleviated when Raquel and Emelia fall onto the bed. Raquel is the first to signal you onto the bed. you are reminded that this is exactly where you want to be. Yea… once upon a time. with the help of alcohol. Even as you began a long string of conquests you always had the feeling you were just learning what came naturally to others. And even as it finally began to come naturally to you. They both are both kissing your neck. It wasn’t until college.COM sucking your fingers. you were one of the good guys. Their bodies are twisting and turning into one another. You slide into them. you can only wonder what you did in a previous life to reap these fruits in this one. They are giggling in a way that reminds you that this is exactly where they want to be. Growing up you always thought the other guys knew some fundamental secret about girls that you didn’t. These guys seemed to know what they were doing. that you began to feel comfortable around them. Emelia gently slides your pants down to your ankles. that is just about how you feel right now. you still had that underlying fear that you’ll be discovered as a fraud. You run your hands along the crest of their abdomens. leaving you and the girls in front of the motel. you experience a moment of doubt. Looking at the girls. Maybe you can be again… Just not tonight. When Manny pulls away.

a girl I dated for a little over a year. And she took mine (although I don't let too many people know that. This means we will be taking one car. She's 25lbs away from pulling it off. She’s ten years older than she was when I dated her. Jillian.” I park my car outside of her apartment. So why should it end with promise. I smile because there is a part of me that kind of knows it's true. So I had no intention of calling her. I hear my buddy Phil saying. and she was no prize then. and you take off.) I say. “Always take two cars. I refuse to waste a Friday or Saturday on her. she is old pussy. As I'm checking my email. But I should have figured she would call me. because she tells me she’ll be right back. a skirt. she’s drunk. I sit in it for a second. Jake seems to think I'm going to fuck her. She always was an annoying drunk. And everyone loves old pussy. about a year before Beth (love of my life till she broke my heart in a million pieces) came around.Social Superstar 10 Years After I Took Her Virginity Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/27/2007 I get the random phone call. and totally inappropriate black hooker boots. I'm going to do everything in my power to convince myself I wasn’t intending to. Great. I ran into her about a week ago for the first time in years and gave her my number out of courtesy when she gave me hers. I call Jake on the way home. 229 . If I'm going to fuck this girl. you tell her you're going to take a piss. As much as I hated this girl when I was dating her. I took her virginity for god sake. I sneer. what about tonight. I get home and search my drawers for my least appealing outfit. She wants me to meet her at her apartment. Plus she’ll expect less time from me on a week night. wants to know if I want to meet up for drinks one night this weekend. I think back to waking up with a huge hangover. She must have caught it. An outfit I don't usually mind on girls who can pull it off. that way if it's a bomb. she calls. and she comes back two minutes later in a different outfit. She answers the door dressed in a tight white shirt. There goes the quick getaway. She's been at happy hour. and I realize that the day didn't exactly start out with promise.

So I do the next best thing and guzzle gin and tonics. Nothing I care about anyway. I was behind her in line and she told him to verify her name with me. I smile because.The Best of TSBMAG. At that precise minute she puts the dog into her purse and tells me she is taking it with us for drinks. “that is a problem. We get to the pub and this bitch won’t leave the thing in the car. Luckily her name came back to me right then. I get out of the bathroom and this bitch has a crowd of derelicts surrounding her.COM It is awkward in her apartment. I tell her. “Lauren. I felt this was a perfect time to apologize for my blunder. I just for the life of me couldn’t remember her name. Over the summer she was getting harassed by a bouncer who was claiming her ID was a fake. Instead of joining the fun I walked over to the pool table where three girls were about to start playing. because I don't know many people that go there. because she's’ crazy. I tell her. I recognized one of the girls.” I say to get her attention. “Just pick a place and leave the fucking dog in the car. And so she was kicked out of the club. She tells me the puppy is too scared to stay home alone. She soon realizes that New Jersey.” I think. Finally I say. I have now been in the car with her for twenty minutes. well. When the guy asked me. Plus one her friends had made eye contact with me while I was grabbing a drink at the bar on the way back from the bathroom. isn't it?” She says we’ll go to a place outside. does in fact. and a guy playing pool over hears her. All egging this stupid cop story on. There is this little dog that keeps jumping on my leg. He’s a cop and is interested in her story. Unfortunately I don’t have that option. 230 . “This is New Jersey there are no outside cafes.” She picks the Town Pub. Apparently her rambling has put it to sleep. I wish I could tape record this car ride to play to people to demonstrate the torture I was going through listening to this bitch. and I have to pet it while she tells me how cute it is. “This is going to be a long night. Talking loudly and compulsively about nothing. I take this as my cue to excuse myself for a much needed piss break. She was an old college friend of a friend type girl. Amazingly the dog is being good. This idiot puts this little puppy in her purse. which was good. have no outdoor places.” She insists and I don't feel like arguing. I keep nodding my head. She is in the middle of some story about how she got pulled over for no good reason.

One of the girls grabs the dog and heads for the door. I explain my ordeal. She looks under the table. She is crying hysterically. I tell Jill to go to the bathroom and cool down for a minute. I twirl my finger by my ear to signify she’s crazy. She is screaming that the girls stole her dog. but I'm feeling sporty. Everyone in the place is staring at her like she's crazy. When she leaves. I offer to buy the girls a round. Jill has made her way back to the booth near the pool table. Her face is covered in blood. I feel queasy. I figure Jill won’t mind. I should have never left because when I come back Jill is by the pool table telling the girls how we were each other's firsts. I tell her. I walk her away from the crowd. the puppy wakes up. She realizes that the girls are gone now too. It starts freaking out. The cute one who was eying me. Only she is crazy. and decide to take it. The two remaining girls decide it's a good time to flee. I walk back over to Ivana and see if there is any chance of getting her back to my house later. We are all kind of making fun of my obnoxious friend and her and her obnoxious stories. I give a. The girls all laugh. Jill comes over to me and explains how Lauren just hates her for fucking her ex boyfriend. All the girls hover around the dog. she is preoccupied with the derelicts anyway. I call Ivana over to me. I will go outside to see if the girls have it. We are hitting it off nicely. And a bunch of other shit I could care less about. She's from Denmark or France or something. Ivana and I say a nice goodbye. She has an accent. She starts scurrying around. I tell them they should probably give it back. I promise to call. Meanwhile Jill has lost it completely. We chat for a few. When we walk back to pool table there is tension between Jill and Lauren. I'm standing by Lauren’s SUV. The three girls are in it with the puppy. Something I never do. ‘I didn't see nothing look’. Just then Jill comes barreling out the front door. I need another drink. She glances at the bag and realizes that there is no dog in there. She is absolutely 231 . As Jill is talking to the girls. I paired with Ivana. Jill stops in the middle of a sentence to point out that Lauren has been giving her dirty looks. They feel my pain.Social Superstar She’s a friendly girl and within minutes I'm the fourth player on a two on two pool game. I just wanted to talk to Ivana some more. and proceed to defend myself for ever having dated this idiot. She panics. We exchange numbers. They decide that Jill is unfit to raise this dog. And apparently is scared of pubs. I explain what a dog was doing in her purse.

They are both punching each other violently. give her a little hug. We are outside Jill’s apartment and I'm trying to calm her down. 232 . Finally the bouncer runs over and breaks it up. I kind of pat her on the back. I ask her how it happened. She says she can't believe I'm leaving. When our half hour was up we just keep making love until someone from the front desk has to come in and tell us to leave. “Not till a titty pops out. My head hits the pillow and I wonder if this is really what my life has come to. Looking so cute as she keeps falling into the snow. I teach her how to ski and she picks it up quickly and soon she is beating me down the mountain. and tell her. Her lip is still bleeding pretty badly. She was bleeding when she came out of the pub. "it's been a fun night. She runs over to the SUV and starts screaming at the girls." She says it's really fucked up for me to just leave her like this. She's in the emergency room and just wants to tell me what a complete and utter selfish. He wants to know if they really have her dog.The Best of TSBMAG. I ask the bouncer if he's going to break it up. Later in the night we make love in the outdoor hot tub with a couple watching. He then searches the truck for the dog. That night I dream of Beth and being up in Killington with her. before the fight. waiting for us to use up the half hour we were allowed to be in there. but I have to go. I suggest we leave. I shrug. She doesn't remember. Maybe she ran into a wall in all the confusion. feeling a little guilty for letting it happen.” he says. heartless dick I am. I give her another little hug. I tell her I have work early.COM hysterical. A bouncer calls me over and asks me what happened. I agree. Her all bundled up. And so begins another fine morning. She gets blood on me. I really can be a dick. I'm awakened from my dream the next morning with a phone call from Jill. We look over at the car where Jill has pulled Lauren out. I push her off and start to walk away. He takes it from the truck and hands it to Jill. I got to get as far away from this psychopath as possible. Jill is crying and bleeding and hugging the dog. I can.

“Maybe the house isn't as impressive as we think.” Jake proclaims “Shut up with that. Probably because we lived in such shit throughout college. We also always imagined that because we had the house now. Like they're going. Sort of like Field of Dreams. “I'm telling you. and his teeth are really yellow. We should have it packed right now with girls flipping coins seeing who gets to fuck us next. “Bobby's old and kind of sleazy. Without women. girls would just naturally come. Yep. “Did she see the house?” or “What did she say when she walked in?” Like because we had a house (only slightly nicer than a frat house mind you) girls were going to just fuck us. I'm in no mood for excuses. Still have visions of girls sitting on our shoulders. A common line. “What the fuck is it?” Brian is asking us after a third Friday in a row sitting on floor in the living room drunk watching Napoleon Dynamite at 3 in the morning.” The first month we have the house. “We are wasting this house. naked chicken fighting. and shit like that. We were still without couches for our living room and we were hot tub shopping. my roommates and I have over glorified this house. so I'll fuck him anyway. Young new pussy is what this house is all about.” Brian says.” Jale again. getting ready for the onslaught of young new pussy that was awaiting us. it's the bars we go to. But he's got a nice house. 233 .Social Superstar My First Piece of MySpace Pussy Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/20/2007 We've always had delusions of grandeur in regards to the house we our renting. So we were naturally perplexed when a couple weeks had gone by and none of us were yet to christen our new place with a new girl.” I'm blunt but. “I'm telling you. we go to New York.” I tell them. It would have been sweet. An outdoor one. guarantee we'd be more appreciated there. we all basically start blowing off the girls we were dating.

“I don't know man. Recollect on the weekend. Are we the neighborhood homos.The Best of TSBMAG. Of course there was the slight crick in the plan being that it's a completely dead Monday bar night and we don't have any leads to work with from the weekend.” Jake says. “Get on the phone.” Brian threatens me with what he knows it my worst fear. The one thing that keeps me single. I lie in bed.COM “Don't do it. Without paying. it would be a completely new chick. Crack heads and gay men.” Jake says. boys?” That Monday I woke up in the morning. In this house. My first thought was to call Tammy and break the rule a little bit. Take a quick piss and decided I was getting laid tonight. I try to defend myself. “You might be on to something I finally admit.” “You're crushing it. “Give it time. We're almost thirty. Having a reputation to live up to can be a pain in the fucking ass sometimes. “Bobby Rio having trouble getting laid?” They laugh. and I swore Id fuck something new tonight. Apparently they see the irony. You know what grown men share a house at thirty? Crack heads. Don't crush my dreams daddy. the pleasure of not knowing what the next girl you'll fuck looks like.” Jake with hands over ears. “I don't see condom wrappers in either of your trash cans. I announce my dilemma to my roommates as we were all preparing for work. do your magic.I am just fucking horny and have to be realistic. Tell everyone about your 2 week long drought. But on the other hand. On one hand she is an old standby. Without calling one of my old stand bys. stop.” “I'm going to out you on the internet. 234 . now clearly enjoying the opportunity to rip. No.” Me still optimistic. I got pretty excited imagining what she was going to look like.

I try to think where I can go on a Monday morning to meet some women. As the details of conversation become less blurry I decide I better get the hell out of there before she recognizes me. “I think I saw her hanging out in front of 7-11 the other night. but I have a vague recollection of a past conversation that didn't go so well. if she could stay out past her curfew. But tomorrow morning.” I am saying this wondering how the hell I am going to deal with them tomorrow morning when we all wake up alone. I looked at it like I was acquiring ammunition in case I ever ran into one of these girls in a bar. I call out of work. There is a cute girl behind the counter serving coffee. she had two bratty kids that would have posed a problem in closing the deal quickly.Social Superstar “I could be fucking Tammy any day this week plenty of other girls too. These two dicks. I'm getting laid tonight.” “Work you're magic. maybe casually mention how much I love Lost or whatever other stupid show she has 235 . I head to Barnes and Noble.” I say this. and know it is a weak comeback. I always hear stories of successful book store pickups. you'll both be thanking Bobby. I headed home to regroup. I also quickly found that my off beat sense of humor didn't translate well in emails. Bobby. I figured I just start humming one of her favorite songs. and it is full of people cashing in their food stamps. I could bring Keira Knightly home and fuck her on the kitchen table and they still wouldn't be impressed. And I'm getting you two pricks laid too. What time is it again. “You joke now. I am sitting on my computer. I still managed to waste hours browsing profiles.” Jake inputs. Although I was fairly confident I could have taken home this Mexican women that kept giving me the eye. Not much talent here this morning though. I hang out in Shop Right for a bit. browsing profiles on MySpace. I had put a profile up a month or two ago. but still kind of considered it creepy to be contacting girls online. “Yea. on school nights?” Brian says. but it is the first Monday of the month. “That's it. I await the abuse.

spontaneous. "Pick me!" And so we have a winner. Only three. Who I'd like to meet: Adventurous. So I am a bit surprised when I see that it's a girl called "Everything I thought you know" that has messaged me. I am the mother fucking man. Or how I met them. I start believing the hype. And write me a brief essay on why you deserve to be Bobby's Miss Wednesday Night. Two of the pictures have to be body shots. that smart. She'll do. not in fact. A lovely word. how can I be one of those lucky ladies? Well it's your special day. I have posted it in its entirety. She is only eighteen. I think as my home screen reads new messages. contact me and I'll show you. Brazilian or Asian. Adorable face. Now. and I'd be golden. I am currently taking applications for Wednesday nights.women. about me. I wrote her back. Blonde. and decide that she is. I read her interests. So send at least four pictures. My spare time consists of trying to find ways to sneak strange women out of my room before they realize that I don't know their name. I read the email. But as I'm looking at her picture my dick is getting hard so it's settled. what if she is smart enough to be displaying sarcasm. a plus! I did not receive many applications. but in that sloppy goodness sort of way. shed have to fuck me right? Fate. For a moment I feel special. if I'd have to do a newspaper singles ad it word read something like this. Slightly chubby. A tad larger than I would prefer. male. I very rarely got messages on MySpace. Or better yet. About me: Well. hung like a -use your imagination. I enlarge them and get set to analyze. Then the thought hits me. No clear body shots. I have posted the email in its entirety.COM listed under TV. I am sad to report. might explain it. Picture Tara Reid twenty five pounds heavier. open minded women. Perfect. I go back to her profile page. I mean it would be fate. I am the man. Single white. View more pictures. I click on her profile page to check her out more.The Best of TSBMAG. I'm sure you're reading this and wondering. An exposed left arm kind of scares me. and heroes. 236 . My about me and who I'd like to meet.

and she will have to bring someone else. I leave out the small detail above. I will not post it in its entirety. IM me at Bobbyrio03 on AOL. laughing inside at the thought of which of roommates would wind up with the fat one. I have a friend Michael that cleans up online. Now I've heard of online success stories. When my roommates get home I tell them the news. They are both very happy. She tells me that these two girls are the only ones that would be willing to come tonight. He pulls 3 or 4 girls a week off MySpace and Match. food (so that fat one doesn't drag them out to McDonalds before things get going) condoms. We will need: Beer. and that's about it. what she's doing tonight Her looking at my roommates MySpace profiles Her telling me how hot they are Us making plans for tonight Now. It was an extremely long conversation. music. We plan the night. If I hear from you we'll take it further. I just never had a need to bother with it. a deck of cards. The beauty of eighteen year olds is that they are extremely easy to impress. and in an effort to save space. Boring small talk More boring small talk How hot I am What kind of piercing she has What kind of tattoos she has What she's doing tonight Does she have 2 friends Are they hot Me looking at friends MySpace profiles Again. So I know it is possible. I'd say half the time he fucks them the first night. everything will be explained later. If you would seriously like to be considered for the role. 237 . Me telling her that one of her friends was too fat for my roommates. if you're thinking that sounded too easy. Until now. Exactly three hours later she contacts me. I hesitantly agree. A bit of information I skipped over in the subject matter. Instead I will break it down into subjects. I'm actually trying to get him to write a book on the subject.Social Superstar I will be at my computer for the next three hours.

ha ha ha ha. We will fuck them anyway. I once again laugh. And Kristen (shit smeller). We are all sitting at the dining room table. I am breaking a pact that we made that night. I assume the role of gracious host. We are all thoroughly disappointed. And so it's on. We turn our cell phones off. They stampede in. The message has been sent. No one will ever know until I tell the world about it boys. We do the introductions. the lights are dimmed. It will not be pretty later. They are fat. There is Katie (horse). The horses love us immediately. gothic horse is downright repulsive. We continually check the blinds to make sure no one can see in. There is Aimee (gothic horse). And the drinking begins. It must be done exactly in this order. I shrug. we swear to each other while the horses take a piss together.COM 8:30 PM The piggies arrive. There is nothing gratifying about winning the affection of a horse. We pretend to be interested. We learn a whole bunch of irrelevant information about these girls. While my horse is no prize. The speed at which we are putting beers down at 8:45 on a Monday is frightening. No one will ever know about this. I cringe. She tells me it's cold.The Best of TSBMAG. Around 10PM we decide it is time to take this to the next level. Below is straight out of Bobby Rios playbook for banging girls under twenty. The horses are keeping up. I know what that jacket hides. The three of us are communicating solely with eye glances. I take their jackets. I decide the jacket should stay on until I put a few beers down. By 9:30 we've become restless. My roommates look at me in shock. thinking about which one of my roommates will fuck her tonight. The doors are locked. That's what you fucks get for not respecting my authority. There is an instant decision to be made. Take notes! Casual drinking Speed up the drinking with flip cup Pair off and speed up drinking even more with beer pong When sufficiently drunk suggest the game. Only my girl will not release it. We seem like great guys. one bigger than the next. Never have I ever Begin sexual talk 238 .

Oh. Her hand makes its way down my pants. But trust me. yea. I eat her pussy. We kiss. and I roll over and go to sleep. And I had my first of many MySpace escapades. And so the house finally got us laid. I tell her how sexy she is. We wonder if she is going to swallow him. I brush the hair out of her eyes.” I tell her. He seems happy. The kiss is oddly passionate. In the morning we hurry the horses out. I do her doggy. I am a little jealous. She looks perplexed. “You have amazing eyes. It is all just practice for the big game. I shrug and mumble something about drinking too much. “You have an amazing smile. we rationalize. Then I blow my load all over her big fat titties. lick my dick like it's an ice cream cone. or that many beers. Jake is with shit smeller. Kids. We sit and brag about the poundings we gave them. I let this fat pig ride me. There is no thrill of victory with fat girls. I don't admit this. I hope you never have to do what I am about to do. He continually reminds me that my horse hasn't seen her hooves since the third grade. In this light. I am alone in the kitchen with horse now. it works on real girls too. Instead I continually point out to him how her nostrils are snared. He wins the argument. I mean if you're going to do it you may as well enjoy it. I throw a pair of boxers at her to clean up with.” she whispers. I fuck the shit out of her. “Show me your room. We both win the battle as we watch Brian make out of with Gothic Horse.” she tells me. it is much easier to do the smooth transition with girls over a buck fifty. We pair off. the skinniest of the crew. 239 . she has cuteness to her.Social Superstar Top the night off with Truth or Dare Get Laid Yes.

I quickly scratch that idea. She knew it was me. 1:15 pm I call Phil. The truth is when you get good at this shit you start writing your own rules.COM Return of a Pick-Up Artist (Part 2) Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 01/09/2008 11:45 am The day began with a Powerbar. I am afraid that these old men have subliminally installed that in my brain. We chat for a few minutes. I wonder how she is going to be in bed later. I make a friend with a guy next to me. I tell him he should give it to 240 . 12:50 pm I decide that I do not want to spend my Memorial Day weekend with the kind of people who drink alone at the town pub. Don't call so soon. I can hear the people out there saying. Now he wants to tell stories. vitamins. He is approximately the 600th old man in a bar who tells me not to get married. Yes. He is finally back from Vegas. But you only got her number last night Bobby. It is a great movie. An indicator that she already put my number in her phone. but if you wait six days to call a girl after you get her number chances are she forgot you. These people have watched Swingers too many times. Here is some advice. He is almost 70. They will take it as an opportunity to spend the next two hours spilling their guts about a life gone by. water and a cool shower. I contemplate putting in a few hours at the office. never show even the slightest sign of interest with old people. I hang up the phone and smile. buddy. I call Gloria. 12:51 pm Gloria answers.The Best of TSBMAG. I throw a pair of jeans on and head to The Saloon for a beer. 12:30 pm I am not the only one in the bar. Apparently there are other people who use Memorial Day weekend as a way to justify drinking in the afternoon. He tells me he thinks one of the hookers out there gave him the clap.

Social Superstar Penelope. friends. I had put quite a few down at Bob's party and was a little scared I might get a surprise when she answered the door. It's sexy though. She's got to be in her late twenties. family. Tell her you brought her a gift back. There is a slight hint of age twinkling in her eyes. Soon she is describing the first time she gave a guy road head. She has been on that date a hundred times with a hundred guys. maybe even fuck her in the woods. The older the girls the more willing she is too elevate the conversation. dinner. Maybe even thirty. Younger girls tend to be more naive when it comes to talking about this kind of 241 . I test her out and see if I can elevate it even further. drinks route. 3:00 pm I have been in the car with her for thirty minutes and I have to say it's been a pretty pleasant experience. She's got long wavy brown hair. Just kind of has that natural no make-up kind of beauty. I started seeing this conversation going in a very good direction. Unfortunately we were about a minute from the land. pop culture gossip and just when the conversation hits a lull I throw out things like: coworkers who fuck. Who knows. you’ll have to be a little more creative. No. Then I steer it back to neutral topics: work. Here is another hint. Every time I guide the conversation to edgier topics she bites right away. Here is a hint. if you want to fuck her the first night. when we lost our virginity. what celebrities we'd like to screw and just when I sense the conversation has gotten too racy I bring it back to PG. I get directions for some land up in Warren County that he wants me to do an appraisal on. 2:30 pm I pick up Gloria. She had a little bit of the hippy chick thing going on and I thought this would be a good way to get her juices flowing. if I blew my load this early the rest of the day would be a waste. unless she's a complete slut. Every time I bring it back to R. For your first date with a girl don’t go the standard coffee. I did not fret. Each time I test her she bites and brings the conversation even racier. 3:35 pm I have been doing a good job juggling the conversation between PG and R. the first guy she kissed. But she is actually even hotter than I imagined. Gloria is taking the ride with me up to Warren to help me assess Phil's uncle's land.

Caveman type shit. Use random opportunities like this to display some alpha male characteristics.COM stuff. I put my clip board down. There will be a time for that later. The look in Gloria's eyes when we see the sheep let me know that the juices are officially flowing. I start snapping some pictures of them. I contemplated going for a naturalgirls. It took a few times and knocked quite a bit of wind out of me. She sees through my bullshit and calls me out again.” Which was actually the look I was going for. you just have to do those certain things women like to see men do. The older ones eat this shit up. but she said it with the slightest hint of sarcasm. 4:00 pm Phil's uncle's land is pretty barren. There is a small abandoned barn looking house. I grabbed her hand and we walked around for awhile. although this is only to make this trip seem a little more important. I don't mean be a meathead. and have very little tolerance for banal talk. I told her to pose. I was not shy about touching her but now the touching was turning flirty. I pulled out the camera. I made it a point to bust the fucking door in. She suggests that we check out the inside of the barn/house.The Best of TSBMAG. but ultimately decided against it. I had her posing all over the place in all kinds of positions. Like I'm a real professional under my bad boy exterior. Here is a hint. That way all these boring pictures of barren land will have something interesting to look at. 242 . Displaying raw power. suggesting something like that could freak a girl out if the rapport isn’t as strong as you imagined. All day hands were always brushing against each other. I jot things down. All the signs of an adventurous afternoon were there. I wonder if there is an abandoned bed in there. I walk around taking pictures. Rising higher lower. “Oh look how cute and professional you look. They are just as horny as you are. This early in the day I was not going to take that chance. There are only a handful of trees scattered around. actually. 4:15 pm A pack of wild sheep stroll in from the field in the back of the property. Fully clothed unfortunately. Some girls just get so damn turned on by nature. There is a tiny lake. Boards are over a door. The Kino has begun. So instead of giving up when I saw the bars over the door. There was a bed but it was decrepit looking and I'd have preferred the floor.com photo shoot. Hands were getting left places longer. As cool as she seems. but we got in that house/barn.

To our surprise though three hawklike birds came flying at our heads. I got behind her and guided her toward the door. She tells me I should let her cut my hair. Oh well. I probably wouldn’t have. There is less talking then on the way up. She kept getting closer and closer to me until I could feel the warmth from under her jeans. I don’t say anything though. I am genuinely enjoying 243 . It was definitely a buzz kill. just kidding. as planned. My racing heart and freaked out gestures definitely subtracted from some of that alpha male I had displayed earlier. She grabbed a hold of me. but she just has this confidence about her. She gives thumbs down. that I found myself a little flattered by the adulation. Normally this look scares me. She has gone googly eyed on me. She left because if the birds hadn’t of come she was about to do something I probably wouldn’t respect her for tomorrow. Don't always feel the need to keep the conversation going. A lot of times girls are just saying this shit to make themselves feel better about what they are about to do. Another hint. Then she laughs and says. What can I tell you? Luckily she was even more freaked. But she would like to cut my hair.Social Superstar I saw a room in the back that I decided would be the room. Our hands are in the middle of the table intertwined. Ignore it. I have a fucking fear of birds. She's right. I ask her if she doesn’t like my hair. 5:30 pm We grab a quick bite to eat at a small Italian cafe near her house. She quickly pulled me out of the room and out of the barn. Don't respond with anything. such a sexy at ease way. but don't make the mistake of joining in the conversation because it won't lead anywhere good. 4:45 pm We are in the car on our way home. Let them rid themselves of the guilt. If the rapport is good enough you can enjoy the silence together. Give her time to think about how cool you are and a whole bunch of other reasons to justify fucking you later. We finally pushed the door open basically falling into it. she's not going to sleep with you tonight because she likes you or because you won't respect her in the morning. when a girl throws out a comment like. She runs her hand through my hair. She says sort of. I joked with her saying that someone was behind the door waiting for us. The silence is not uncomfortable. I kept nudging her toward the room chatting her up about the crazy ax man behind the door. She is looking at me hard. Once you are at this stage use any excuse you can to get her touching you. I ask her if she left because of the birds.

The Best of TSBMAG. She leaned into me and a titty brushed against me. I am aroused. I mean how am I supposed to act if she really fucks it up? My attention is quickly diverted from my haircut to the mirror where I watch as all of her attention is focused on my head. I tell her I have a foot fetish. I watch hair falling off my head. I wonder if I should try to hide this fact or leave it out in the open and see if she catches it. She is sexually massaging my scalp. Just thought I'd throw that in there so that you don’t think the only thing on my mind is sex. 5:50 pm We are in the car on the way to her salon for a haircut. While I'm perfectly happy with my present haircut. and don't adjust. This rates up there with a scalp massage I got from a pro in a termas in Rio a few years back. I want to open my eyes and look up at her. so no one will mind. I look up and she is soaping up her hands. In the car ride I bring the conversation back into R territory. Bobby is all around pleased with this one and gives her the Bobby Rio seal of approval. She keeps touching the water and asking me if it's warm enough. but it did make me pitch a tent with my smock as I got up to walk over the other chair for the haircut. But the bait worked and she telling me about a scene in another movie that turned her on. The place is closed but she has a key. Yes. I appreciate the enthusiasm in which she is doing 244 . She leans my head back into the sink and I wince when my neck touches the cold stone of the sink. I decide fuck it. Now Gloria's massage was not going to make me cum. Finally her fingers start running through my hair. No joke. and is basically manager of the place. I can't tell if she realized I was kidding. I wonder if it will make things awkward if I hate my hair cut. 6:15 pm I am sitting in a chair at her salon. She asks me if I want a pedicure at the salon. when I was a little kid I used to get so turned on when the shampoo girls breast would brush against me during the wash that I couldn’t resist the idea of sitting in a chair watching her in the mirror.COM her company. She runs water over my head. This is not as sexual as I imagined it would be. 6:17 pm The hair cut has begun. I ask her if she gets turned on by the toe polish scene in Bull Durham. I came from that scalp massage. I have towel choked around my neck and a restricting smock on.

The unbuckling begins. When you say something like that to a girl. I help her with her pants. My hands are running up and down her legs. I sense that she has come from the oral. and then I pull her towards me. No panties!!!! God I love hippie girls. In the back room there is a recliner chair where they do waxing and stuff. as they are fond memories. She turns me over and is practically ripping my jeans off of me. She is extremely turned on. but trimmed up enough to still look edible. As soon as I say this she drops the scissors. Another hint: That was only the second time I complimented her all 245 . She pulls me into her. She can't pause for a minute. My mouth goes back in forth from her mouth to her neck. I tell her and really mean it. Make her feel like the luckiest girl in the world to hear it. One good compliment can melt away any defense she might have still had up. If you are uncomfortable reading about my sexual exploits you probably shouldn’t continue. say it with all the confidence you can muster up. Which makes me wonder if I should tip her when she's done? I decide she will get a tip. 6:19 pm You are so fucking sexy. people can see in. We stare at each other for a second. I get on top of her and am kind of grinding into her. At this point I am about to indulge myself in the details. I have no fucking clue what time it is pm I stand up and push Gloria down into the chair. I tease with crotch rubs. She's got the trademark hippie girl patch. Just when I think I'm going to have to overcome another obstacle. I am extremely turned on. I spin myself around on the chair so that I'm facing her midsection.Social Superstar her job. I lay her down on the chair. She goes crazy. I pull her head up and tell her again how fucking sexy she is. And then the whole thing. she suggests we go into the back room. My mouth goes down to her belly button area. I do the lean back please me lean and await my reward. She goes down on me and I am enjoying it way too much. I smell her neck for a second and then turn her face toward me and start kissing her. I watch her wiggle out of them. She says we can't do it here. We are making out hard. So I eat. Just enough muff to keep with the natural girl image.

But you really have to wait to see where you want to go with this before you start getting so close. Use compliments sparingly so that when you finally give them they will be regarded higher. There is a glorious finale with an extremely satisfying cum. As much as I am into Gloria she's a little old for daddy and probably won't make the cut. I easily could have spent the rest of the night with her. But we'll see… 246 .The Best of TSBMAG. I wiggle my boxer briefs from around my ankles stand up and push her down on the chair. cuddle like you're really into (it helps when you are) and be fucking silent. 8:30 pm I drop Gloria off. I know some guys would have asked her to spend the night.COM night. Hint: Guys even if she's the fuck off the century don't get all gushy telling her how good it was or how much you like her. I am inside of her now. put your arm around. We are both breathless. If in a week you decide you're not into them it is easier to start blowing them off. This is truly some of the best sex I've had in awhile. Lay there. I was really enjoying the time with her. Trust me words are not necessary.

What was left of my confidence was officially shattered. At this point there wasn’t anybody downstairs so I just plopped on the couch and waited for Jake so we could leave.. I waited for her about ten minutes. The thought of hot young drunk college girls was enough to persuade me and my friend Jake to blow off work the next day and head out on a Tuesday night to relive some former glory. I mean licking my chops. We jokingly sandwiched her and danced a little. and whispered to each other that “if all else fails we take her upstairs and tag team her. 247 . I stalked her out like the hungry wolf that I was. and had just been dumped by the girl I thought I was going to marry. Jake was in no better shape than me.” A few minutes later I noticed a chick that was cute (in relation to the other pigs at the party) and I went over and started conversing with her. When she didn’t return. Unfortunately my game was pretty bad at this point and I just kept talking about nonsense and wound up boring her to death. Still in a bit of a depression I proceeded to drink myself silly.hungry. The party was less than spectacular. My skills and confidence were at an all time low. I did the walk of shame back downstairs. I found her upstairs making out with one of the younger frat brothers. But worst of all… I just fucking need to blow a load!!! Some of my old college buddies were having a little get together at their house and invited me. In my drunken state I assumed we hit it off pretty well.Social Superstar Snowballed Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 01/21/2008 I was in the worst drought of my life at the time. Although I tried to stay away from frat houses as I was trying to “make it in the real world” the offer was just too tempting. As the night started to wind down I got hungry. At one point we were standing together sipping keg beer from our red cups when this sloppy fat chick starts trying to dance with us. willing to fuck anything. She excused herself to go to the bathroom.. I was fresh out of college. The mixer was with a subpar sorority and the talent pool was slim.

They were kind enough to head upstairs without making conversation with me. I just put my head down in shame. She gave me a killer blowjob. I am not going to lie and say she had any redeeming qualities. swallowed and everything” Jake tells me. “Yo. I immediately got her on the couch.COM A couple minutes later the fat girl from earlier walks in the front door. But I started dry heaving uncontrollably. They looked at me in shock when they saw me lying on the couch with the piglet. She didn’t. But I kept kissing her and slowly slipping my hand down her pants. I’ve got the fat girl inside half naked and ready to fuck” I tell him. I was just with her behind the shed outside. I may as well finish the deal. I looked at this as a gift from god. As I was walking outside Jake was walking back in the house. “If you’re still down we can do her porn style” “Dude. the fact I got caught on the couch with a fatty by my ex girlfriend’s whole sorority. I told the piglet I would be right back and headed out to my car to grab a condom. She had breath that made me want to puke. I don’t know if it was the 12 red cups of Bud Ice. Told her she was sexy. 6 years later Jake is still asking me how his babies taste. 248 . Stroked her hair.The Best of TSBMAG. As luck would have it… the door opens again and a handful of girls walk into the house. or the realization that I just made out with a piglet three minutes after she swallowed my buddies cum…. These girls happened to be from my ex girlfriends sorority. and finally went outside and pulled the trigger… blowing junks all over the front porch. I figured all my dignity was gone. And a minute later I was lying on a dirty couch making out with her. Once they left.

we wound up in his wedding party… The night before the wedding we all got pretty drunk after the rehearsals.” The restaurant was a close knit group and I had a reputation to uphold… I figured I could get Stoute out of the room for a good hour while I gave Tammy the pounding she craved. but I was too 249 .. The rehearsal after party ended pretty early which left a lot of time to kill at the hotel we were all staying at. Tammy was a hostess at a restaurant where I was bar tending at the time. we didn’t see much of Chris anymore. A handful of us met at the hotel lobby bar. She was dressed high school whorish as usual… and got quite a few stares from the families of the bride and groom. I had fucked her once before. Mike and I were sitting in the lobby when Tammy arrived. where I slowly got drunk enough to realize I was wasting a perfectly good hotel room. as Chris wanted us in close proximity to prevent any debauchery that would have had us over sleep the morning nuptials. and my performance was less than stellar. Mike and I were sharing a room on the same floor as the groom’s family. The insurance policy came in the form of a pill of Viagra I scored off a friend for “extra measure. I actually came before I got inside her… I caught my load in my hand and then pushed her off me and told her it was “too soon. Since Mike and I didn’t exactly conform to the couple’s moral standards.” This only made her want me more. and we're not talking about the sweet innocent type. I stopped at Tammy. It was a little surprising because our friend Chris had basically been “born again” after dating a very Christian girl for the last couple years. Tammy was an eighteen year old senior in high school…. Against my better judgment I scanned my phone for some tail to call. just drunk enough to make some bad decisions. The previous attempt at fucking Tammy’s ridiculously tight pussy left me with no alternative than to secure an insurance policy for the next time.Social Superstar Hotel Room High Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 01/27/2008 Somehow me and Mike Stoute were asked to be groomsmen in a college buddy of ours wedding. Not fall down humiliate yourself drunk. Nevertheless. Chris gave me a look..

The hotel manager opens the door. and shows them his left. They demand to see both hands.COM drunk to give a shit at that point. The bald guy takes the bag and demands for all three of to sit on the bed. He is a corrections officer. Finally I slightly opened the door and peaked out. there is another knock on the door. Tammy was just as big a fan. The manager explains the situation and tells him to leave. so when the two of them got together the entire room was a giant cloud. they would have let us go. But now the bald guy is pissed. I peeked through the little hole and saw a man in a suit standing next to a bald security guard. and I just shrug our shoulders. Mike. Chris. The three of us just froze. If you’ve listened to Mike’s incessant coughing during our podcasts you could probably tell that he is quite fond of the green stuff. but the bald guy tackles him just as Mike reaches his hand out to flush the bag. The next thing I know Mike is barreling past them headed towards the bathroom. sniff around. the three of us decided to go up to the room. so Mike could roll a “cigar” that he and Tammy could smoke. The men are not amused. Mike puts the bag in his right hand. Just as the two of them were finishing their second “cigar” there was a pounding knock on the door. I let them knock another minute. He casually tries to grab it without them seeing. They tell us that if he hadn’t been a wise ass. Just as he gets finished telling us how big scumbags we are. I just sat there waiting for Mike to leave so that I could get my grubby hands on Tammy. Mike makes a running dive toward the toilet. They both looked at me to answer it as I was apparently the most sober. Mike spots a dime bag on night table. Then switches the bag and shows them his other hand. The room is a cloud of smoke and the hotel manager starts harassing us about the smell. The bald guy pushed the door open. After getting the evil eye from just about everyone in the lobby. Then as the manager starts looking around the room. The bald guy darts after him. They demand to see what's in Mike’s hand. and the two of them entered the room. 250 . while the three of just stared at each other in disbelief. Tammy. It is our friend Chris. but the bald security guard catches him. He is reprimanding us sternly.The Best of TSBMAG. Mike starts pleading with them to not call the cops. and pretend we don’t smell anything. The hotel manager calls down to the front desk and tells them to secure a police officer.

The manager tells us he’s not going to ruin our friend’s wedding just because we’ve decided to be fuck ups. Mike and I hand him are licenses. The bald guy has to hold Tammy’s dad back from striking me. We finally get down stairs where the four of us sit in the lobby waiting for Tammy’s parents to arrive. The hotel manager wants to know why a 26 year old has a high school girl in a hotel room that is filled with booze and other goodies. he’s going to leave the police out of this. Twenty five minutes later Tammy’s mom and dad show up. as Tammy and I get escorted through the halls by the manager and the security guard.Social Superstar seeing visions of two missing groomsmen and in no mood to explain what jerk offs his friends are to his fiancé. The hotel manager tells them the whole story with all the gory details. He then tells the bald guy to search the room to make sure we don’t have anything else in the room. The manager tells Chris to leave for a minute. Lucky Mike gets to stay in the room.” His solution is to call Tammy’s parents and have them come to the hotel to pick her up. We pass various members of Chris’s family on our long walk to the elevator. begs the hotel manager to not call the cops. None of us say anything.” Even the bald guy is little 251 . “And I want you to be there with me when they arrive” he says to me. The bald guy wants to know why a 26 year old guy is carrying around a pill of Viagra. At that precise moment the bald guy pulls my pill of Viagra out of a pill case in my duffel bag.” But he wants our names and some identification. I apologize and promise that I will never ever see Tammy again. He tells us “You’re friend may have just saved your ass. I have no answer for either one of them. He holds the little blue pill in the air and wants to know who has a prescription for an erectile dysfunction medication. He asks “Whose duffel bag is this?” I raise my hand. Tammy’s mom is grabbing her ear and calling her a “little tramp. shuts the door and comes back inside. But he then says “I can’t leave this girl in the room with you two in good conscious. The only identification Tammy has on her is her high school ID. The hotel manager looks at me like I’m the scum of the earth.

I sleep soundly that night. The wedding goes smoothly the next day. a hot cousin from Texas. My cell phone goes off with three texts in a row. 1st text from co-worker Trish “Old man need Viagra?” 2nd text from co-worker Kelly “Tell me she’s lying Bobby?” 3rd text from co-worker Jackie “Your dick only works for me daddy?” I turn my phone off. It will not be pretty walking into work on Monday. Everyone in the room officially agrees that I am the scum of the earth.COM uncomfortable with the whole situation. I am having a blast. 252 .The Best of TSBMAG. I am engaged in a great conversation with one of the bridesmaid.

Buff continues on… “…like six months from now… still feeling that sense of connection… and looking back at tonight as having been the start of it. I hope you find them informative and entertaining. “And as that cord glows with the warm of that connection… maybe you can even imagine a time in the future…” I’m lipping along with him. At that very moment I know Buff is motioning with his hand from his solar plex to hers. I know what he’s going to say next. I’m waiting for Suzanne to burst out laughing. I know its coming. I want to repeat it along with him. These were the craziest times because it was all so new and life transforming. I’ve got the nervous giggles. She flips over a card and tells me I have to drink. Tracy is too drunk to notice.Social Superstar The Early Days Experimenting with Speed Seduction Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 03/12/2008 I’ve wanted to write in detail about some of my experiences in the community for awhile now. “Have you ever felt an instantaneous connection to someone? Like maybe as you’re sitting there looking at him… a cord of light grows from you to them” Buff’s voice is radiating from the bedroom. Here are my adventures. The Early Years: Experimenting with Speed Seduction 1998 Buff is in the bedroom with Suzanne. Amazingly when I sat down to write it all came back to me crystal clear.” 253 . So I’ve decided to start a new series about the early years. It's hard to believe that it's been 10 years for me. I sip my beer.

“Are you alright?” Tracy asks me. “So where’s Buff?” “I think he’s working” I tell her. Mike smiles at me. We are talking and laughing and smiling but we’re not saying much of anything. but I lean back and wave.COM My giggling causes beer to shoot out of my nose. “Yea… yea” I say. Its college night and half of Montclair State is there. “Pretend I just said something funny.” Mike busts into laughter.” Straight to the point she says. It is filled with “weasel phrases” and “embedded commands. He is on his third date this week. He’s such a sweet guy. She kisses Mike on the cheek.” I tell him. Ross Jeffries says “Those who look hungry never get fed. She turns to kiss me.” she says.” Suzanne. Her face drops. “A little. It doesn’t matter. “I love him.” “Do I look hungry?” Mike asks. “Is he coming by after work?” she asks. already drunk. At least not much of anything that makes sense. Mike and I are drinking Bud Lights and discussing the past couple of weeks. Ross Jeffries says “A kiss on the cheek is supplication.The Best of TSBMAG. The Instantaneous Connection Pattern A few weeks later we are at Fatsos. All that matters is that we don’t look hungry. 254 . I pat the index card in my pocket. Buff is notoriously missing. comes over to Mike and I to say hello.

I pull out my index card and review the notes. who has a cult like following of guys all claiming that he can seduce any women in a matter of minutes. Just then Mike interrupts us. Instead I say. He pulls me aside and says. 255 . I head to the bathroom to regroup. “Okay” Suzanne says then walks away. “Yea… It really took me back…I didn’t even know what to say. then blushes. “The girl walks right up to.Social Superstar “Not sure. and says. looks me dead in the eyes. But if it wasn’t for a tad of constipation I would probably not have made it past the pictures in the issue of Playboy I was browsing through.” “What?” Angela asks. A life defining moment on the bowl You never imagine that your life is going to change while taking a shit. “Sweet Caroline” is blasting through the speakers and she’s trying to get me to dance with her.” I say. “Really?” Angela asks. A clear head beats a beer buzz for confidence. ‘Imagine…me going down on you… all night long’” I say this staring directly into Angela’s eyes. I pour the rest of my beer in the pisser. “So I was just talking to Suzanne… and she kept repeating Buff’s name to herself over and over again.” I smile. In the back of the magazine I stumbled across an article by Peter Alson about this ugly middle aged guy named Ross Jeffries.” he says.” I tell her. “It was actually kind of scary. “You wouldn’t believe what this girl just came up and said to me. The card reads “Use quotes” I walk out of the bathroom and bump into Angela from Sigma Kappa.

Super Guru Pickup God Ross Jeffries has defied nature and figured out the secret to the universe.The Best of TSBMAG.COM Alson weaves tales of lowly computer nerds scoring blowjobs from aspiring models and playboy bunnies in coffee shop bathrooms. I was immediately sold. 256 .

With her other hand she cups the back of my neck and pulls my face toward her. My baseball hats.” I say. my bloodshot eyes… “A typical frat boy. my other hand is wrapped around the back of her neck. Tonight is a tossup. Sometimes foolish men attribute their success to blind chance.” Deanna is whispering in my ear. my Sublime tshirts. She climbs on top of me. and an insurance check paid a trip to Cancun I didn’t think I would be able to afford.” is how she described me to her friend. She is unbuckling me. I look to down and see that it’s a pair of her turquoise colored panties. She is hiking her yellow sun dress up to her waist. Another time I called a radio station every hour on the hour until I won tickets to a Tom Petty concert. For the first five weeks of our Creative Non Fiction class she didn’t know I existed. “No… why?” 257 . She is running her hand down my chest. The seat belt has me trapped and our mouths don’t reach each others. I’m free now and our mouths are locked. my five o’clock shadow. tongues thrashing together. I’m pinned down by my seat belt. Easily assignable to success. “Are you wearing contacts?” I ask her. She puts her finger to my face and I put it between my lips. Deanna clutches the lever of my seat and pushes me back. I’ve got one hand cupping her bare ass. Other equally foolish men mistake coincidence for success. Easily assignable to coincidence. I was part of the crowd. Deanna puts something soft and damp into my hands. There was the time my car got hit by a van full of illegal Mexicans.Social Superstar The Falling in Love Pattern Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 03/12/2008 “I don’t even know you. “All the better.

I mainly sat in front of my mirror reciting patterns and practicing tonality.The Best of TSBMAG. a death of a father. Her tongue is cleaning out my ear. She reaches between our legs and wraps her hand around The Boss. She adjusts herself and guides me into her. 258 . “Beautiful.” I say. Horns are beeping. Success or coincidence? She’s fumbling with the buttons on my jeans.” she says. This was the big go… Mike and Buff had been using Speed Seduction frequently since the cassette tapes arrived in the mail a few weeks back. a Garth Brooks concert. “Tell me. as she slides my jeans down. The perfectionist in me always found it wasn’t quite the right time. They had the ‘jump in and learn to swim’ type attitude with the stuff. There were stories about a skiing in Vermont. I’ve got a tit smashed against my face. and her pale blue eyes are glowing like an Alaskan Huskies. There is a reflection from the street light our car is parked under. Success or Coincidence? There was a moment of hesitation when the professor called on me to read my story to the class. Engines igniting. winning a spelling bee in the sixth grade. “Do you think I’m pretty?” she whispers.COM “Just wondering. the birth of a child. I lift my ass.” I say. Her eyes roll back into her head. Our assignment a week ago in class was to write a short story describing a memorable experience. Paris in the spring time… I wrote about the first time I fell in love… She’s straddling me and our pubes are rubbing hard against each other. Outside cars are passing by. a first trip to Yankee stadium.

It’s like you’re not even aware until it’s too late. I’m getting a case of rug burn on my crotch. I put my hand over her mouth to silence her. You begin to pay attention in that special way. First. I see them peak in but continue walking. 259 . “You don’t even know why you just have to go deep inside and find all those values that are so important to you but you just naturally link them up with this person such that you find yourself beginning to look through the eyes of attraction … cause I find when you look through the eyes of attraction. I am self conscious and a bit uncomfortable with what I’m reading… but it’s too late to stop. Her eyes are closed which is good because a couple students are walking past our car. The restriction of fucking in a Jetta is unsettling. look through the eyes of desire. You’ve already begun to feel that connection… and grow even more attracted. you just want to release them in a flood and I find when you do that now with me I find you just feel so enchanted like you are now under a love spell cast upon you such that you can’t control yourself and just find yourself going wild with it” Success or Coincidence? The Boss explodes. “And as you feel that passion growing more and more maybe to a point where you feel yourself just letting go completely as you allow this person to come deep inside releasing all those feelings that have been building and building up inside. that’s when you can make that connection…” The Falling in Love Pattern Deanna is grunting and growling. I have to lift her a little so I can bounce her up and down on The Boss.Social Superstar I am in Creative Non Fiction reading my story from the paper in front of me… “It was my third date with Shari when I realized what was happening. becoming aware… of the rhythm of your breathing… the beating of your heart… and that sense of growing fascination… such that as you continues to be aware of all this… one particular feature of the their face begins to rivet your attention… so as you just continue to keep looking… it’s like the rest of the environment disappears… and the entire world becomes this face…” I am keenly aware of the eyes of the class on me. Deanna collapses on top of me.

There were a handful of items marked down for clearance. fruits and vegetables.COM Don’t Buy the Cheap Sex Toys Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 07/22/2008 I’ve always been pretty experimental in the bedroom… dare I say… kinky. sue me.The Best of TSBMAG. But what I’ve noticed while mulling over my exploits is that often these whims have turned out to end on a sour note. There was the time I took a roll of film of my ex in compromising positions… that mysteriously disappeared when we went to the CVS to pick them up. The Pleasure Palace. my choice was narrowed down to a cock ring. Luckily. This place had everything I ever dreamed about. For all her flaws… I do say. blindfolds. I spotted a discount shelf. these are a series of beads attached to each other usually by a string with a handy retrieval ring. or anal beads. The package promised that if I inserted them into her ass… and 260 . The time I jokingly asked my ex to pee on me… and she did! The time I bought the super large dildo to play with on her… and then suddenly felt inadequate. I went with the anal beads for the low low price of $4. I was a kid in the candy store. One day I ventured off to the holy grail of perverted fun.99. But nothing was worse than the time I cheeped out on the sex toys. There was the time we lost the key to the handcuffs…. she was gung ho in the bedroom. This was back when I was dating my first girlfriend Jillian.. Only I had very little money. With the amount of money in my pocket. right from the start. We were like a couple of perverts trying to see what we could come up with next. edible panties. bondage. I wanted everything. Lucky for me. voyeurism… we did it all. I have a wild imagination. I’ve found girls willing to let me indulge in my whims. For those of you unaware of what anal beads are.. Role playing.

She squirmed a bit… but soon enough I’m digging away. so they went in without a fight. I was a proud man. I started poking my finger around her ass trying to warm her up to it. We tried them out in her vagina first. It doesn’t. I quickly tried to hide the string under the pillow. She did a giant pelvic thrust… but then flashed me a reassuring smile to let me know she enjoyed. I take this as my cue to start sliding the anal beads in. Jillian starts asking. I pray the bead will pop out. Jillian starts making her "I’m going to cum" face. I’m doing her pretty hard missionary. and she likes it. She reaches her hand around to her ass and starts holding her anus open while jumping up and down. Just as the two of us reach orgasm I pull the string in one quick flick of the wrist. in and out. By this time. It is obvious that the bead slipped over the last knot. I’ve got her legs spread over her head. They were still pretty lubed up from her pussy juice. The string which had five beads going in… had come out with four. "What's wrong?" "One of the balls didn’t come out" I tell her." Things started out amusing enough with the beads. She jumps up and grabs the string from under the pillow. She starts panicking. and usually felt dirty about it afterwards. I sold her on the "new orgasmic heights. so I reach under her ass and grab the ring and get ready to yank. Wailing away. That was until I looked down at the string in my hand. Worth a shot. She only mildly liked it when I did her anal. As our session got steamier. But my face must have given it away. In and out. 261 . But I can be pretty persuasive. right? Jillian wasn’t thrilled with my new toy.Social Superstar then pulled them out right as she climaxed… she would reach new orgasmic heights.

Look and see if you can see it. She’s screaming. She starts hyperventilating. I take my two fingers and pry apart her anus. After a few minutes they stop." She kneels down over the bowl and lunges her ass into the air. Miraculously the little purple bead appears… but just as I’m about to grab it her anus closes shut and sucks it back in. 262 . I say "Maybe we should go to the Health Center on campus. but I am afraid I’ll just push it back further. I sit her naked body on the toilet and tell her to push like she constipated… push like she’s trying to get a baby out. I calm her down enough to walk her into the bathroom. I get behind her and start prodding around. I open the door and peak in. She’s making some nauseating faces and I have to leave the room. See if they have any suggestions. Now she’s crying so loud I can’t concentrate." I take from her reaction that wasn’t an option. and growling all over again. She starts pushing. Jillian has her ass raised above the bowl and is shaking it violently.COM If you remember from previous mentions of Jillian. "You better get this fucking thing out of my ass. "Maybe you should try taking a shit. grunting. "It's right there. But nothing is falling out. The grunts and growls that were coming out the bathroom would have scared small children." She looks like she’s going claw my face off. "I feel it" she screams. she wasn’t the most mentally stable girl. She begins pushing. I can feel it. I want to reach in.The Best of TSBMAG. "Push" I tell her." I say.

I pick the thing up and flush it down the toilet. is why you don’t buy the cheap sex toys. I’m really hoping a turd doesn’t pop out along with the bead. harder this time" I demand. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" she screams. The bead plops onto the floor. 263 . I’d have to dump her. my friends. She’s pushing so hard one of the veins in her forehead seems it's going to burst. I walk in the room and grab the string and flush all the beads down the toilet.Social Superstar "Push again. And that.

Sofia could be 25 or 40 and I wouldn’t be surprised. I give up. c’mon other people need to use the bathroom” my girlfriend shouts in … Everything is fucked. The most action I’ve gotten all week in this chastity ward of an apartment. She rolls her eyes and tells me no. I beg one last time… “A goodbye blow job…please?” 9:25 I’m in the backseat of Sofia’s car and I’m trying to calculate just how old she is. My dick goes limp. 8:44 I’ve finally got some momentum going.The Best of TSBMAG. I start unrolling some toilet paper to finish into… “Bobby. But I’m thinking now… the older she is… 264 . And normally I wouldn’t have cared much. But just outside the door there are seven different Spanish voices continually reminding me that my time in the bathroom is limited. Privacy is nonexistent. That’s what happens when you cram 9 people into a three bedroom apartment. my mind trying to hold a fantasy long enough to rub one out. I finish putting on my shirt. one of my girlfriend’s cousins… Anna and her big fake titties… then Sofia and her rebellious tomboy attitude… but the noise is just too distracting.COM That Drunken ight in Medellin Story Written by Bobby Rio Original Published: 08/18/2008 8:40 pm My dick is in my left hand… my right hand is fumbling through the medicine cabinet for some kind of lube… I’m squatting over the toilet. I pull her close and grind my hard-on into her. She tells me not to be so grumpy and that I better have a good time tonight. 9:05 My girl gives me a little peck on my lips. I float different pictures through my mind… first.

.Social Superstar the more likely she’d be up for doing something if something should happen to come up… 9:44 We get into the bar… it’s themed like a typical Colombian town. She shakes her finger no again. “I no care” I say and fill the shot glass. 265 . I am happy that there will be at least one person I can communicate with here tonight. 10:00 Jim calls me over to him. a banker… a cowboy. I explain that she had a wedding rehearsal … and has to get up early tomorrow for the wedding. I try pouring Sofia a shot. you like?” I smile. and a slight bit creepy. There are three bottles of the stuff on the table. Because in a brown eyed world… the blue eyed man is king. Sofia notices my curiosity and says “Aguardiente. And the town bum… 9:45 I walk through smiling… making sure they notice… And they always notice. In fact. Each room with a different theme.. She shakes her finger no. “You like the Colombian girls?” he asks. . I smell the glass to make sure it wasn’t water. a farmer. a nun. 9:46 I follow the cousins to a table filled with about eight or nine Colombians. “I no like” she says in broken English. I lift the glass and down the shot myself. “Si” I say. “So you can have some fun tonight!” he says. The waiters are walking around dressed like typical town people… there is a priest.. I am doing the obligatory kiss on the check to bunch of chubby Spaniards… the loud alpha male of the group introduces himself in English. He hands me a shot. 9:51 Shot number one goes down smoothly. His name is Jim. “Muy Bien! Mucho gusto!” He asks me why my girlfriend didn’t come. He puts his arm around me. We knock glasses and shoot them. The room we wind up in is themed like a cathedral.

10:11 I turn to Sofia. I push the glasses toward them again. She doesn’t know how dirty I can get. I fill a few glasses and try to hand the sixteen year olds shots. I pour the three of us shots and we gulp them down. Jim introduces me to the fatty… his wife. I try… but it’s useless. 10:16 There are a few new faces at our table. Sofia not wanting to be seen dancing with the gringo… pawns me off on her sister.The Best of TSBMAG. Some young girls… that can’t be older than sixteen. My constant humping of her leg and staring at her tits has seemingly offended her… I put my tail between my legs and head back to the table. I want to make conversation. She takes my hand and leads me to the dance floor. I’m a little embarrassed by my blunder. I start to wish I Googled the age of consent down here. 10:14 I get back just in time for another shot. 10:13 Pretty soon I’ve made both of us uncomfortable. but nothing another shot of Aguardiente won’t cure.COM 10:02 Jim calls over an old fatty. For all intensive purposes I’ll assume it’s sixteen. My lack of rhythm is apparent. I fumble for the bottle and begin pouring another shot. 10:18 266 . She doesn’t know daddy. It’s too loud to deal with language barriers. I assume he is trying to hook me up with her… I give him the thumbs down. Things get ugly quick on the dance floor. Her sister wants to play dirty. They shake their fingers no. Sofia grabs my arm… and tells me in her adorable broken English to “slow down or I get too crazy” She’s probably right… but I’m past the point of reason.

Yea right!!! This is where things get blurry.. Because when you can be loyal… that’s meaningful… So you’re going to go out there… drink your drink… be friendly… not too friendly. 10:19 He introduces me to the sixteen year old… his daughter. He looks at the group of girls and nods at me. 10:22 Time for a piss break. whether or not you can maintain loyalty. As we are dancing Jim comes up behind his daughter and sandwiches her against me. And that’s all you’re going to do. and then you’re going go home and jerk off. She is in the middle of us and I’m grinding lower and lower with her. I give him two big thumbs up. I look back at him over my shoulder… now he gives me the thumbs up. Here are the definite memories I have: … Gulping down another four or five shots of Aguardiente … Jim’s daughter shaking her finger no as I try to lick her ear …Jim’s fat wife pulling me off her daughter and then scolding her daughter in public Here are the fuzzy memories I have: 267 . 10:25 I regroup in the bathroom. Before I have time to explain… he tells me to dance with his daughter. He actually pushes us closer together.. Jim seemingly pleased… heads back to the table and leaves me and his daughter alone.it's a moral test of yourself. .Social Superstar Jim sees me trying to make conversation with the girls and comes over to us.

It’s not going to happen. I am completely dehydrated and desperately want water. I close my eyes and go back to sleep. I’m standing buck naked in the room where the aunt. Naked. This time I wonder into my girl’s cousin Adolfo’s room. I momentarily snap back into consciousness and walk into the hallway. Only I’m not in our room. I walk to the bathroom. I take off all of my clothes and demand sex. on my bed.The Best of TSBMAG. Only they are not sleeping. In the other room I hear the Spanish chatter of the entire family having breakfast. They are staring at me and laughing and pointing for me to go back into the hallway and to my own room. Hearing his anger the aunt comes into the room and in Spanish intervenes. but thought of going into the kitchen to face the family is terrifying. Sofia and Anna are sleeping. I retreat to my bed. I start to crawl in bed with him. (Most likely explaining that I’m a drunken mess who has no clue what room he is in… or probably even what country he is in) The two of them guide my naked ass back to my room.COM … Sofia pushing me into a car with a random Spanish guy … Driving through the mountains of Medellin thinking I’m being kidnapped …throwing up in a port-a-potty on the side of the road: Here is where things get ugly: I stumble into the apartment and stalk out my girlfriend. I head back into our room. I try for a few minutes to jerk off. He wakes up and flips out. naked. I have vague flashes of the night before… I panic. Naked. I decide to piss before going to sleep. I try to wake her up. 9:20 am I wake up alone. She is not turned on my aggressive drunken behavior… or my breath which reeks of puke. I go caveman on her. 268 .

They are nice about it… but are openly amused.Social Superstar 11:40 My girlfriend wakes me up and tells me that I have to get dressed for her friend’s wedding. When I expose myself from the room… the entire family starts mocking me in Spanish. She asks me “What the hell happened last night” 11:53 I do the walk of shame to the bathroom. 269 . All I can think about was how pronounced the “shrinkage” was….

or any other area of your life… until you develop a clearly defined goal for yourself your mind will continue producing the same results you’ve always gotten. This means that if you consistently think of the lack in your life (of women. If you have had difficulty with talking to women. But if you train your mind to see abundance (of women. In order to fully experience and appreciate the lessons you’ll receive over the next 31 days you need to have a clearly defined end result.. Having a clearly defined end result means knowing exactly where you want to be 31 days from now. and friendship) the universe will continue to provide you a life of lack.. 270 . money) the universe will provide you a life of abundance. managing a relationship. The title of this series is 31 Days to Better Game… but “better game” has a different meaning for everyone reading this. Have you read the book The Secret? Or how about Real Magic? Or Think and Grow Rich? These three books (if read and implemented correctly) are worth their weight in gold. How will you look after you’ve achieved better game? How will you act? What kind of girls will you be dating? Sleeping with? What will a day in your life look like once you’ve got this area of your life mastered? How will you feel? What kind of thoughts will be running through your mind? These are all questions that you cannot ignore. building attraction. This step is more important than any lesson you will learn from here on out.COM 31 Days to Better Game Day 1 Designing Your Life Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/10/2008 The first step you need to take to improve any area of your life is determining your desired outcome. These three books all explore the ancient principle that your mind will create whatever reality you present it. money.The Best of TSBMAG.

suppose in your mind you saw yourself surrounded by a set of beautiful women and they were all laughing and having a good time… you would write “I am confident around large groups of beautiful women and easily create enjoyable conversation while building attraction. See your ideal life. After you’ve spent about thirty minutes just completely immersed in this “new you” stop your visualizations and grab your pen and paper. visualize yourself in the company of the woman you want to be with. It needs to be as detailed as possible. It needs to be filled with emotions and feelings. Next Every morning when you awaken… take out that piece of paper and read it a few times to yourself. thought out.” If during your visualization you saw yourself having unbelievable sex with a perfect 10. You need to close your eyes and spend the next thirty minutes visualizing yourself as your Ideal Self. I want you to trust me to give this a chance. clearly defined. summary of this new you. the thoughts running through your mind. See your ideal self. Then close your eyes imagine this reality. I want all of you reading this to put aside your personal opinions and judgments and reservations. feel like. Imagine clearly what you will look like. Your Homework Everyone reading this needs to set aside one hour in a quiet place. The idea here is to create a blueprint of the life you want.Social Superstar If this sounds new age and hokey… wait a minute. the way your voice sounds. write ” I am having sex the girl I’ve desired” and so on. and act like once you’ve mastered this area of your life. But I’m going to safely say that it is magic. I felt the same way years ago when I was presented with this concept. Now I want you to write the most descriptive. As you run this image through your mind. pay attention to the way you walk. For example. Take a pen and paper with you. Clearly imagine the women and note the way you interact with them. You need to read this piece of paper and be instantly transported into that reality. Write everything in the present tense. 271 .

Even if you deviate from your “ideal self” in your current reality. I’m just asking you to spend a half an hour in the morning. I’m not asking much.The Best of TSBMAG.” Throughout the day try to remember to keep your self.. “I am always meeting and attracting new interesting girls.COM The entire time you're visualizing this life… let your mind go.. continue to talk to yourself positively. and a half an hour in the evening visualizing the life you want. I’m not asking you to approach 10 sets a night…. You will be tempted to let your negativity and doubt creep in and tell you this isn’t possible. or remind yourself of your shortcoming or flaws… Clear your mind of the negativity and focus solely on “ideal life.” Every night before you go to bed. I want each and everyone one of you to do this for one month.talk in the positive. Those that choose to follow this… I know that I will be hearing miraculous stories! If you want some further reading on this subject I highly recommend reading The Secret 272 . See if so real that it feels like you're dreaming. Lay there holding that image (with feeling) firmly in your mind. There is no hard work involved. At the end of the 31 days I want feedback on this exercise… I only want feedback from those of you that followed it every day exactly as I’ve stated. The rest of you can keep your excuses I don’t want to hear them. Don’t slack. repeat the ritual of the morning.

can be attributed to one of these two areas. but life itself. that is.Social Superstar Day 2 Developing Inner Game Written by Cajun Originally Published: 06/12/2008 Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in the community. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women simply because they don’t talk to women! It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong”. since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime’s worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection. Every problem you run into with not just women. Experience: When people ask me how I developed my “Rock solid confidence”. I always answer the same. It’s only when were thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. So what is it? To me. This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible 273 . and hope that you can learn from my experiences. When you think about what confidence actually is you realize that it's simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with. inner game problems boils down to two things: your experience and your mindset. It’s a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it’s a problem that can be difficult to fix as well. “Practice”. Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level. and give some personal insights. but I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems. I’m going to get into both of these. I can’t convince you how to think or look at life differently. so hopefully by the end of this article you’ll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues. only you can.

when you were learning to ride a bike. reality exists inside our mind. don’t go home. your own. Well this is the same thing. It’s possible. our consciousness. there may only be 1 reality. This is how we believed reality worked. we create our own reality with our thoughts (Or beliefs. Mind Set: Most of us grew up in a society that believed in a 2 concentric circle model of reality. the outer circle being reality. Don’t be one of them. reality. just accept that it’s a completely normal. that our consciousness was independent of it…but recently this all changed.The Best of TSBMAG. your reality. What does this mean? As far as any of us know. The first few weeks were rough. but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having. and necessary part of the learning process. and it’s a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Getting used to rejection isn’t easy. That is. We experience the outer circle. The truth is. it took me a while before I got used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. 274 . whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game. We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle.COM negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better! Think about it this way. That is. through our inner circle. even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. from your subconscious mind. writing this entire article out to send a message to YOU. the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it. Who’s to say I’m not a figment of your imagination. or the world around us. don’t get mad at her or yourself. or simply ignored. but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it. and that our consciousness is the outer circle. were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down? Maybe. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. told off. I remember when I first started out with this stuff I used to get drinks thrown in my face. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil. and the inner circle being our consciousness. if you’d rather).

” Your welcome. Cajun. What does the paper say? “The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is…to remember that you already are. let’s say. you get to play this game. and you will become one. let’s say.Social Superstar I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs. Now. a rich Casanova in the game. I replied with the following: “Think of it this way: what if. The trick is you have to actually believe it. he says this: “This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play. I’ll end this article with something that I’ve never written about before: I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women. but this “game” already exists and it’s called reality. You become who you believe you are. The AI is so smart you can’t tell it’s not a real person. It has since become my mantra. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. So. and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years. In fact you can have. Think of it as your “console hack”" I’m sure you saw this coming. 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. and then the program takes care of the rest. like I said. I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mindblowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home. all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova. and be anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these “beliefs”. and how they work. if you want to be. I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective and this is simply how I believe reality works. 275 .” Sound a little like the matrix? Well that’s ok.

I’m not saying that you have to look like David Beckham… but you know deep inside if you’re body can be improved upon. If you’ve read The Game you know that the first advice Mystery gave Neil Strauss was to improve upon his look. hit the gym. If you’ve seen the before and after pictures you know what a drastic improvement these simple steps made. get a tan. He had the less-thanhandsome Strauss shave his balding head. grow a goatee. If you look in the mirror and see things jiggling. “You’ve got to present your best self.” I wrote a post a couple months ago called 10 Ways to Immediately Make Yourself More Attractive. If you’re unsure of how to lose that extra weight check out this article about shedding unwanted pounds… if you’re looking to gain some muscle read this article on bulking up for the summer. What I did not include on that list but is equally important is maintaining a fit body. 276 . but you will begin to feel much more attractive. The list includes simple to improve areas like skin color. I highly recommend reading over that list. and change his wardrobe. smiling. posture and grooming tips. By just implementing these 10 tips you will begin to not only look more attractive. hair style. Like Strauss says.” There is no denying that physical attractiveness makes it easier for attraction to take place. But you don’t need to be naturally good looking to make a good first impression.” The phrase should have been worded “Looks only matter so much. If you want further information on designing a weight loss/muscle gain plan read this free personal trainer program-the site has like five hundred articles on every aspect of weight training and nutrition.The Best of TSBMAG.COM Day 3 Updating Your Look Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published:06/13/2008 There is a misused phrase being tossed around in regards to attracting women… “Looks don’t matter. there is no excuse not hit to hit the gym.

Today’s Homework Today you need to make the necessary changes to present your best self. More importantly is dressing in a way that promotes your self confidence. Would you be attracted to a girl who isn’t doing her best to present herself to you? 277 . The article also talks about creating a presence and takes quite a bit from the classic article The 7 Elements of Charisma.Social Superstar After you’ve improved upon the areas of your appearance that need some work… it's time to update your wardrobe. Although the article was geared toward high school students there is advice on creating your image that can be applied to all age groups. But I do believe in using clothes and accessories as a way to attract positive attention. If you’re still looking for more advice than I would recommend purchasing Brad P’s Fashion Bible. No matter what area of your physical appearance (if any) needs an overhaul there is more than enough information contained in this lesson to get you well on your way. If you’ve got little or no sense of fashion than read through our men’s fashion articles here at the site. Remembers just because “Looks only matter so much” you shouldn’t use that as an excuse to be lazy about your appearance. We’ve had a couple fashion consultants contributing articles to make your choices easier. I am not a firm believer in peacocking in the sense that Mystery and Style teach. If you still have questions regarding how to go about updating your life you might find an article I wrote for my How to Be Popular in High series helpful.

Always be chatting up strangers. They read books.” And he’s right. If you’ve just read an article about flirting.” Adam made the comment several times that he “is game. Always strive to make your conversations memorable. boring conversation. Always be opening sets. breathed.” It is so hard for them because all week they’ve created a pattern of bad posture. Does that mean all you should care about is game? Hell no. Always be presenting your best self. then they expect to miraculously be the life of the party come Saturday night. I spent this weekend with AFC Adam Lyons from Pua Training in New York. poor tonality. It’s because a successful salesman is constantly marketing himself while the other 90% do their 9-5 in the office and call it a day. He lived. learn to “be alpha” but they sit in their house all week waiting for the weekend to practice game. study lines. and slept game. approach anxiety. Is it because they are that much better salesman? No.COM Day 4 Always be Advertising Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/16/2008 In a common sale’s office 10% of the salesmen make 90% of the money. He didn’t wait until heading to the clubs at night to go into game mode. It just means that everything you learn needs to be implemented at all times. Every lesson that you learn throughout these 31 days needs to become a new habit in your life. The biggest mistake most guys tend to make while trying to improve their game is they think that it only counts when they are at a bar or club. No matter who he was talking to he was projecting the same charismatic personality. Always dress to impress. and AFC tendencies….The Best of TSBMAG. start 278 . If I had to name the most inspiring thing I got out of the weekend it was Adam’s ability to always “be on. A lot guys wonder how come some nights it is so hard to get “in state.

you will find that it becomes a lot easier to get “in state” since you will be spending most of your time in the right frame of mind.Social Superstar flirting immediately. More importantly though. If you’re always “on” you’ll find that you’ll naturally be attracting more women into your life. you need to always be reinforcing these skills. that the best leads come when you least expect it. like the most successful salesmen. Always leave the house expecting to meet the girl of your dreams. The counter girl at your local bank will be dropping you IOIs. Once you get in the habit of always reinforcing the skills you’ve been learning. is that you will find. Because you just don’t know when you will bump into her. Your co-workers who used to ignore you will be asking you to come hang out with them. I don’t care if you have to flirt with your sixty year old neighbor…. 279 .

power. In Wisconsin we deer hunt and my Dad always told me to never cough because a deer’s hearing is much better than a human’s… Well a woman’s “status” senses are far superior to a man’s. Not only will landing a guy like that make her life better. women are actually very competitive with each other but in more subtle ways than men… 280 . Now you might ask why “status” is so important to women. wealth.The Best of TSBMAG. clothes. cars and made them wear a disguise. social acceptance and notoriety.COM Day 5 Being High Status Written by Mack Tight Originally Published: 06/17/2008 I was reading Bobby’s recent post “Never Show Emotion When She Walks Away” and all I could think was “could that dude make it any more obvious that he was low status”? Let me explain… When you think of “high status males” who do you think of? Donald Trump… George Clooney… Kobe Bryant… your favorite politician… Now if any of these guys had an attractive girl make out with them and run off would they set around and pout like a tit baby about it? Fuck no… They are flooded by a large quantity of attractive women in their life… and even if you temporarily took away their money. any woman would still be able to read that they are high status within minutes of meeting them by the way they talk. it will make the life of her kids better and even make her friends jealous and envious. fame. Because with “high status” comes most of the traits women desire in men like security. …yes. act and by their body language.

if you go to a car dealership to deal on a car. “Commons” were ummm… common… …don’t be a common! The guy in Bobby’s story showed to everyone in the bar and most importantly to the girl that he was a “common” by gawking at her and pouting. Supply and demand is not unique to women and men either… Why is gas $4 a gallon? Supply and demand! Why are diamonds so expensive? Supply and demand! (Thanks to DeBeers) It is like your status is a publicly traded stock when you go into a club and your every action makes it go up and down in value. Now if a guy’s supply is high and demand low and attractive women is the commodity.Social Superstar So how can women sense your status? They can sense your supply versus your demand… If you are clingy and needy it shows to them that you have a low demand and a high supply. Here’s another analogy from my childhood… When I was a kid I collected sports cards. the attractive women are going to have a harder time landing this guy’s business. It is quite obvious that an attractive girl kissing him was a “big deal” and a rare occurrence in his life… That made it quite obvious to everyone that he was “low status”. There was a term called a “common” for sports cards of a player no one wanted. you always want to give them the impression that there are other dealerships that are in the hunt for your business… 281 . If on the other hand you don’t give a shit when dealing with a hot girl you’re showing your supply is low and your demand is high. Now similarly. This raises his status to them.

some old carpenter pants and a boring t-shirt of your local major sports team screams “I’m high status”? To me it screams “I don’t care how I look. Now let me switch things up and touch on some community concepts that hit on the “high status” point… Peacocking Do you think wearing a pair of Sketchers. Negging “Negging” is defined as saying something to an attractive girl that subtly shows her that you are not caught in a hypnotic trance over her beauty. some like dogs and cats but I LOVE MONKEYS! I had guys busting on me about it but I could HANDLE it. I had women cold approaching ME about the shirt and I went to town from there. Always give the impression that you have options in your life even if you don’t.The Best of TSBMAG.COM If you go to a job interview you want to give the interviewers the impression that there are many companies of courting you… …you are living in a world of opportunities and abundance. I bet everyone of those douche bags who were busting on me went out and bought the same shirt the next day… …but I have a feeling they had no luck with it because they could not properly handle the reactions. I even had some girls who BUSTED on me just like the guys did but I was able to turn the tables and get attraction from them. 282 . For example. I want to fit in and I’m scared to stand out”! That’s what “peacocking” is all about… having the balls to stand out… …and I’m not talking about even wearing goggles and a fuzzy hat. I recently bought a bright green Paul Frank t-shirt with Julius the monkey on it. High status men do not care what others think. What can I say.

She is accustomed to being put on a pedestal by guys staring at her. Many people who are new to the community do not understand how to calibrate proper negging. Maybe they’ll talk about music or pop culture.Social Superstar Calling it “negging” was a bad move because people outside of the community assume it is just about putting down women. You need to differentiate “negging” from being an obnoxious asshole. It may sound mean but women WANT to come off their pedestals to meet a high value man like yourself! Giving/Taking Value I made a post a while back by Mehow about giving value by being the value. It does a good job of differentiating how needy and high status guys communicate with women. He might bring up some stories about something crazy that happened at his last tour stop in New York City. It is not like you are calling the girl a “bitch” or saying she is “ugly”. some examples involve VERY. buying her drinks. endlessly approaching her and showering her with complements… …but you quickly knock her off the pedestal to defuse her defenses. Instead he is probably going to vibe with her about cool things. Sure. 283 . Do you think a rock star that is in town for a tour is going to barrage a girl he just met with a bunch of interview questions? What’s your name? What’s your age? Where are you from? What is your job? HELL NO! For him to ask such personal questions to a girl with them both knowing he will be in a different city the next day would be silly. VERY subtle comments that could be taken as a backhanded compliment. For example. take Mystery’s “its funny how your nose twitches when you talk” or Neil Strauss’ routine of picking a piece of lint off a girl’s shirt. Basically you are showing her that in a sea of low value ass-kissing chumps you are the one prized high value man who is accustomed to interacting with girls of her level of beauty on a routine basis.

I also hope my examples gave you some ideas on how you can raise your status to women even higher. They begin by building comfort and attraction by telling interesting high value stories (such as the rock star’s crazy night at his NYC tour stop). Mack Tight 284 . so it is completely worthless! High status men want to test women before they even care about their personal life. So there you go… I hope I did a good job of explaining high status to you.The Best of TSBMAG. So show them that you are high status from the start and you will make yourself the exception and not the norm. It’s casual. ONLY if the interaction progresses to the point that it EXCEEDS his normal standards does he care to learn the back of baseball card stats of a girl’s personal life.COM Guys often interact with beautiful women by asking endless personal questions and they usually never end up seeing or talking to the girl EVER AGAIN anyway. A high status man has many options with quality women just as a quality woman has many options with low status men. The key is that quality women only have limited opportunities to interact with truly high status men.

Flirting is YOU and HER – your personality and hers – sharing some basic information and making it more fun. only to see her attention wane as the conversation starts to get. somehow. I wasn’t exactly a huge hit around the college bars in Ann Arbor. lame.”. “man. 285 . There’s nothing worse than a girl who. surprise… it is how you might communicate with your lawyer or your professor. The inability to be fun and flirtatious is one of the most common problems that men face when they’re learning to get better with women. While they may have some approach anxiety. But let’s learn how to flirt. I thought that. To this day. Its two people talking about… anything they want (it definitely does not need to be logical)… and pushing. I’m even boring myself!” then you know exactly what I’m talking about here. once a girl sensed how deep and concerned about the real world I was. pulling. if you never learned to communicate any other way. well.Social Superstar Day 6 How to be a Good Flirt Written by Christian Hudson Originally Published 06/18/2008 I was a very boring guy until I turned about 22. MI. it is issue number one amongst the clients with whom I work. initially. and add some much-needed texture to the conversation. Needless to say. If you’ve ever been talking to a woman and thought to yourself. seems to be enjoying her time with you.I was completely stilted when you’d throw me into a bar full of people my age. emotion. she was bound to be attracted to me. And listen. surprising and rewarding each other. I like to think of it as taking a flat note. so much as it is that they are worried the conversation will flatten out and get boring. hitting it with a bend. Flirting is conversational play. A flat conversation is one without any spark. it is not necessarily because they are afraid of getting rejected. economics and business. that’s fine – you’re in the company of many other men. and while this proved an asset in my talks with “adults. My interests used to lie exclusively in history.

COM and running it through a flanger. M: Cool. How about you. uh… Stains. and probably not even as interesting. I’m from… guess where I’m from. (Now. saying quietly)… but you can’t tell anyone else. our man is relaying facts. and say) Promise? F: Ok. BORING CONVO F: So where are you from? M: Right.The Best of TSBMAG. building up anticipation. step back. it was a good place to grow up. DULL. (Little reward for playing along). (Here you’re creating a little game – more fun) F: Ohhh. You get the Silver Star. promise. but we’ve texturized it with some personality. ahhh. We’ve made a little game 286 . M: Ohhh! So close.” to “that’s too hard” – we’ll use one of those in a later example). ranging from “I don’t know. Now. Nope. where are you from? Here. F: Stains… what’s that like? M: Ok. put your hand on her shoulder and lean into her ear. You know. so check it out… What have we done here? We’ve conveyed the exact same information. Swooosh – instant texture. (Note: there are about a million responses she could have here. It's just outside London. I’m from Stains. F: Ok… how is it there? M: It’s pretty nice. London. FUN. look her in the eye. Key point: the girl is not having FUN sharing this information. INTERESTING CONVERSATION F: So where are you from? M: Hmmmm. I’ll tell you what it's like… (here you’re “headlining” what you’re going to say. But perhaps an example is in order. Let’s consider a few tweaks. This conversation is as flat as a deflated blimp.

but there’s no algorithm for knowing which – you just need to practice and develop a feel for it. shuts down the conversation. Ok. The other thing I’d say was something like “I’m a garbage man. One option was to say “Are you qualifying me already?” which girls usually take as offensive and which. 95% of the time. That line works with certain girls. act gay.Social Superstar of getting it out of you. This is literally the first question out of the mouth of every girl you meet here in NYC. There’s a whole mess of other things going on in here . because I’m not being truthful. a lot more FUN. These exact conversation fragments happened with a boot camp client not long ago. So what’s a fun way to stand out when a girl asks you this question? F: So what do you do? M: Hmmm. and as long as your delivery includes some warmth and a smile. I’m a…. tell you what… (thinking)… I’ll give you three options. or have some other presentation style that just smacks of “seduction community. I want to add too – you don’t have to be a dancing ape with your delivery on this one. punished them for asking me about myself. you’ll be golden. It could be anything. 287 . screening and qualifying . (And she’s not pleased about it!) M: Ok. about how to tell if the guy they’re talking to is going to treat them to Per Se dinners and weekends in the Hamptons. and the process of sharing information.subtle frame control. our models of fun behavior and delivery are guys who are way over the top. there must be a book that girls receive when they move here. so let’s consider another example… a girl asks you what you do. it's made the conversation. as you’re getting away from the question at that point). guess what I do. Too often.but most importantly. I used to answer this question in one of two ways. after coaching him on how to rock the second one. Think Happy Californian Stoner/Surfer. (She’s going to have to work harder than her lame ‘How to Separate the Duds from the Studs in NYC’ guidebook told her she would) F: I don’t know.” You can be totally chill. he was doing a lot better with the ladies. needless to say.” which is obviously a lie and which. (I wouldn’t play a “reward/punishment” game here if it's early in the conversation.

And so on. right? But you’ve got the power of your copious intellect. M: Ok.COM F: Ok.e. Here’s the flat. you’re like… kind of right! You get partial credit! That deserves a hug. ok… M: Option 2: I consult with men on their lifestyles and communications skills – kind of like Hitch – to help them meet cooler women and have better social lives (too ridiculous to be true – or is it?) F: hahahaha. M: Wow. F: So you’re an entrepreneur! M: Yeah. it's time to ask the girl what she does. you’re wicked smart. if you play guitar you could say “I’m a musician working to get his first breakthrough demo track laid down). Now. right… M: Option 3: I run a software company that builds security software for biotech firms who want to protect sensitive data from being stolen by insiders (sounds legit. boring version: 288 . described as if they were jobs (i. described very interestingly. the way that you present something like this may vary. exactly. one way you might want to present it is to throw in your job. This is a conversation I have. (Lots of detail. frequently almost verbatim. but no kiss on the cheek yet. so I’m going to guess option 3. and helps me avoid talking about the coaching stuff because I’ll steer it into talking about jello shots or software. F: Haha. option 1… I run a beverage company that produces and markets caffeinated gelatin shots in little one ounce packets. M: I know. fun. too complicated to be a lie) F: Okkkkkk… that’s tough. along with two hobbies. Of course. (Give her a little hug) F: Wait what do you mean partial credit? M: Well… I’ve actually done all three. interesting) F: Ahhh. that sounds good.The Best of TSBMAG. Damn.

no you’re NOT. OutOfHere. More often than not. makes a girl feel much better about sharing information with you. Get. I’m just messing with ya. some fun?” then you’ll find yourself flirting pretty effortlessly. uh… what’s that? I meet girls every day and they tell me they do something that I’ve never heard of. How’d you get into sales? See? Creating this playful tension. Get. this texture. 289 . Let’s consider another example. And ultimately. So what can you do with that?! Well… M: So what do you do? F: I’m a technical designer for Jill Sanders M: Wait a minute. why (she’s probably smiling now too)…. this is what flirting is all about. We’ve barely scratched the surface in terms of all the techniques you can use to flirt. immediately.? M: Actually. Tell me about it.Social Superstar M: So what do you do? F: I’m a technical designer for Jill Sanders. but with a more common job: M: So what do you do? F: I’m a sales representative for [insert big faceless company here] M: Wait a minute. more playfulness. She has FUN telling it to you because the conversation itself is a little series of surprises. Same information. But if the attitude you take with you into your interactions is “what would give this conversation some texture. more texture. (Smiling as if she just made your day when she told you that) F: Wait. why (she’s probably smiling now too)…. M: Ok.? M: Ah. I have no idea what a technical designer is (both laugh). OutOfHere. I just don’t have anything good to relate. to what a girl does. (Smiling as if she just made your day when she told you that) F: Wait. But it sounds exciting. no you’re NOT.

Once you start scanning your mind for things to say it's over. BAM! You see a woman you want to talk to an immediately initiate a conversation. fail proof. I recommend having a couple canned openers ready for different situations… but I would keep them simple (hey. and create conversation that just flows from it. Yes. But the fact is. The best approaches are spontaneous. there is no perfect opener. An opener is just the first thing you say to start an interaction. You’re mentally in the wrong state. The reason these approaches are the best is because very little thought is going into the interaction. ideally it will make her laugh. Personally.. guaranteed to work opening line to say to a woman. Don’t hold your breath. But there are perfect ways to approach and deliver your opening line.COM Day 7 Simple steps for Successfully Approaching and Opening Women Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/19/2008 I think most guys are waiting for some new pick. Proximity. When it comes to opening girls I’ve found that several things will make all the difference. Most of the times these girls will be expecting you to open 290 . This is why in the beginning a lot of coaches recommend using canned openers.The Best of TSBMAG. are you guys friendly?. The easiest girls to talk to are the ones you're standing closest to.) and stay away from the classic Mystery or Strauss “who lies more” or “what 80’s pop duo should I name my dog after?” I’ve found that guys who are using these elaborate canned openers are getting stuck in routine mode and not going on to develop natural conversation skills. 1. The less thought out and planned an interaction is the more natural and relaxed you will appear. make you look cool.up artist to come out with an innovative. But that's just my opinion.

As you walk into a venue scan the room for the best possible spot. I hope that these tips help next time you’re out. Even if you just say “you girls look like you’re ready for a fun night” give them cheers with your glass and then go back to talking to your friend. There are entire books on approaching but sometimes it's the simplest advice that is most practical and easy to implement. Stay Fun. 2.open them immediately. and is probably bored. On the other hand. That is the beauty of the three second rule. Bobby 291 . Know when to eject and when not to. Because the approach was spontaneous you will be sending off really natural body language.If you open a girl and the whole time you’re talking to her she’s fumbling with her cell phone and avoiding eye contact… don’t waste your time. This will put you in the right frame of mind. 5.Once you’ve approached and opened girls keep a really fun vibe. You’re better off staying playful for awhile. The longer you wait the more awkward it's going to be.The reason spontaneous approaches work the best is because your body language doesn’t have time to get all weird and up tight. You also want to present the image that you could turn and walk away at any time. You don’t want to be the guy doing laps all night with the hungry look on his face. If you’ve entered a bar. Remember not all girls are super outgoing… some girls need a little prying before they open up. You have to differentiate between a girl who visibly giving you signals of disinterest… and the girls that just take a little more work. Open as many people around you as quickly as you can. if you get a tad resistance. don't prematurely eject. Spontaneous. The best approaches feel spontaneous. 4. Now they’re opened.” Once you’re in interview mode she knows you’re hitting on her.Social Superstar them. I see too many guys open a girl with a funny line… then immediately go into “interview mode. You want to make sure your body language conveys the image that this interaction carries no excess value to you. (And build social value) 3. Body Language. and you’re in the proximity to a couple girls you want to talk to.

.. For instance. the other night I was talking to a girl at a bar. When that thread died down it was easy to transition into another interesting topic. you’re here because as a child you had bright lights big city dreams… you imagined yourself strolling down Fifth Ave. Here she brought up the emotions she felt of excitement mixed with fear. talking about how Intel is down a point?” From there the conversation flowed naturally because I avoided interview mode.” “So you imagined yourself in a power suit… doing lunches with the Gordon Gekko types. How do you get a girl to invest some interest in the conversation? One of the easiest ways to elicit a response is to make assumptions about her and funny guesses. 292 . She told me she just moved here from Iowa. You need to get her to invest some interest in talking to you. I’m a finance geek. actually I imagined it was a job on Wall St. and I asked her if she lived in the city..The Best of TSBMAG.COM Day 8 Improving Your Conversation Skills Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 06/20/2008 The goal of a conversation is to connect with the other person on some level. Using the material she gave me “the mix of excitement and fear” I was able to transition into another thread. swinging your briefcase on your way to your job in advertising…” At this point she stopped me and said… “Ha-ha.” “So tell me what your first week in the city was really like” I asked her. The standard question that most guys would have asked next was “how do you like the city?” Instead I said. I guided her along. “So. After you’ve approached a woman and have broken the ice with an opening line… you need to hook her into the conversation.

. out of money” “Oh. and explained the emotion I felt of “being lost on this entirely different continent...Social Superstar “Well aren’t the most satisfying times in life the times you feel that adrenaline? It's like when you think of your most memorable vacation… it probably wasn’t a vacation you sat in a beach chair sipping Pina Coladas. If you’re listening to her you’ll notice a new hook every time she opens her mouth.. do tell!” See how the conversation is naturally flowing from one thread to another? After she spoke a bit about her adventure in France I told her about my first time in Brazil. so what do you do? her: I’m a stock broker me: where do you usually hangout? 293 .. (Leaving Iowa. her first month here) Each time she gives you a hook you should relate it back to her establishing a connection. It was probably one where you challenged yourself a bit…” “Haha. arriving in NY. The key to being a good conversationalist is to keep your ears open for hooks... that sounds like a good story.” We were able to smoothly transition from “Do you live in the City?” to having a detailed conversation about our most adventurous vacations. A hook is something she says that you can use to extend the conversation. When she told me she just moved here from Iowa a month ago she gave me three hooks to work off of. yes… being stuck in France not speaking a word of the language... The biggest mistakes guys make is turning the conversation into an interview… take the conversation above and see how easily it could have headed into interview mode: • • • • • me: Do you live in the city? her: I just moved here from Iowa me: Oh yea. and how it almost brings you back your childhood when things were still new… and you had that desire to explore.

What do you do for fun? In the example above you’re wasting valuable hooks by trying to fill the air with pointless banter about yourself. Here is an example from my conversation of how I took things deeper. 3. This is where everything she says you try to find away to immediately relate to it. So what does one do when they know no one will find out? • See how I acknowledged the emotion that she must have been feeling. I was really listening to her. That I was able to empathize and understand her. What do you do? her: I’m a stockbroker. This is actually a technique I learned from Richard La Ruina’s book The Natural Art of Seduction where he talks about taking things deeper. didn’t speak the language. I dabbled with stocks online a little. Who cares that your friend went there on vacation? The proper way to handle a hook is to relate it back to her. • • me: tell me about your most adventurous vacation. • • • • • me: Do you live in the city? her: I just moved here from Iowa me: Really.COM See how easily the conversation could have turned into a high pressured interview if I hadn’t used what she gave me and related it back to her. me: Oh yea. You also want to stay away from “try hard” relating. me: So you must have felt both the thrill and fear of complete anonymity.. I have a friend who went there on vacation last year.The Best of TSBMAG. 2. This simple acknowledgement let her know that: 1. 294 . That I was genuinely curious to know what one does when they know no one is watching. her: It was this time in France when I was dead broke. and alone for two days wondering around Paris.

Instead of waiting for attractive girls to practice this new conversational strategy I would suggest practicing it with your friends. and then practice acknowledging the hooks. Many of us have old habits that we’re going to have to break. She knows that you’re not superficially trying to relate… This is a conversational strategy you should take on no matter who you are talking to.Social Superstar Once you’ve acknowledged what she has given you it is alright to relate the story to yourself. Because now she knows that you’re on the same playing field. If you get in this habit you will naturally become a better conversationalist. Practice picking out the hooks these people are giving you. family. and coworkers. The easiest way to break an old habit is to consistently implement a new one. 295 .

physical appearance. it’s always better to start in the beginning with a little more indirect game and use playful negging and teasing to bring down your target’s status in relation to your status. If your body language. If there’s any possible doubt as to your status versus her status. My answer is…it depends on your conveyed status. which is the moment of interaction at the bar or club. Two things I hear guys ask about when it comes to building comfort with women are (1) whether to go indirect versus direct with the game and (2) whether to compliment or playfully insult the woman. sure you can compliment a woman upon first meeting her. Picture yourself as 296 . you will probably want to lean more toward indirect game and playful teasing and insults. which is even higher. you want to get skilled at knowing how and when to use compliments and direct game as well as using negs and indirect game. Daytime Drills One of the biggest problems men have with building comfort with women is that they put too much emphasis on the moment of truth. I hope you guys enjoy it and find it helpful. Until you reach that level of game. The more comfortable you get with your game. Eventually though as you get more comfortable with your inner game and alpha role. however. the easier it will get to convey that you’re an alpha male and a prize with hardly any effort. One of my rules has always been that it’s all right to put a woman on a pedestal so long as it’s made clear that you’re on the throne.The Best of TSBMAG. This is just a sampler of techniques you can use to build comfort with women and isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list by any means. however. Or to put it another way.COM Day 9 How to Build Comfort with a Girl Written by T Originally Published: 06/23/2008 Bobby Rio asked me to shed some light on building comfort with women. treating a woman like a queen is not a sign of weakness as long as it’s crystal clear that you’re the king. social proofing and/or manner of speech are strong enough to convey higher value from the moment you walk in the door or open your mouth.

that’s an opportunity for conversation. Then go for a minute. go for five minutes. Make small talk with the Starbucks barista when waiting for your coffee. And by the time you hit the big game you’d feel a lot less pressure on yourself because you mentally prepared yourself for this moment. You’d run drills. You’d never do that. take mental notes on what works and what doesn’t. When you do these daily conversations in the beginning you’re just aiming to get used to the banter and to reduce the anxiety you get from having conversations with women. Women’s defenses tend to be down more in these casual daytime situations than they are in a bar or nightclub where they are more guarded due to being hit on incessantly. It’s not enough to make a note on what doesn’t work for the sake of avoiding repeating the mistake. The whole goal is to get comfortable talking to women you don’t know. say a basketball player. you don’t have to get a number or pick a woman up. Chat with a cute bank teller while she’s handling business for you. Aim for 30 seconds. With these drills. The same applies for building comfort with women: practice when it doesn’t count and when no one is watching and you’ll be way more confident and perform much better during game time. You achieve that. Don’t fall into that trap. it’s even more important to make notes on what does work so that you can repeat it and fine-tune it. A woman sitting next to you on a bus reading a book you’ve already read is an opportunity. In fact. and forget to ever repeat that joke or story again. pat themselves on the back for it. You’d practice by yourself for hours when nothing is on the line and not a lot of people are watching. You’d do visualization exercises. the more you realize that it won’t kill you and that 297 . The point is to get comfortable starting conversations with women and to get comfortable with the occasional rejection. Ask a woman for her opinion on a cologne or article of clothing you’re considering buying when you’re shopping at the department store. If you’re stuck on a long post office line behind an attractive woman. You’d take shot after shot after shot in your spare time. the more you get rejected. Imagine how off your game would be. but you never practice or touch a basketball except during big games in front of a large amount of people. For some reason a lot of guys make a joke or tell a story that works brilliantly in a conversation. Imagine how nervous you’d be. so you’ll experience less rejection and more responsiveness than you would in a nightspot. Start a conversation every day with a different attractive woman. A cramped subway car is an opportunity.Social Superstar an athlete. When you do this.

avoid self-deprecation or anything that lowers your status. Beethoven. A woman busts their balls a little bit and they backtrack or apologize immediately. There are plenty of other articles out there about that. Then you’ll want to get used to observing and interpreting body language. and tease her like she’s your little sister. Don’t apologize. Avoid it at all costs. Stick to your guns. Be cocky. then you should apologize. be playful. Apologizing for who you are and what you believe however is a no-no. But outside of that exception. Make her laugh. because both those tendencies are obstacles to building comfort. And that alone is important. I’ll give an example of this. Don’t use self-deprecating humor. The conversation started out well 298 . you’ll see your bar or nightclub game improve dramatically. Don’t do it. When many guys come across a pretty woman. Then they start over apologizing. never sound desperate to please. muscular physique. if you step on her foot or spill a drink on her. First. Apologizing for your actions is the right thing to do under some circumstances. recently approached two women at a bar. Once you get used to doing your daily daytime drills and getting comfortable starting and maintaining conversations with women. They are so afraid of not getting her approval that they almost beg for it. Of course use your discretion. Nightlife Comfort Since this article is supposed to be about building comfort. if you have an athletic. Then you need to focus on using your body language to convey the alpha male impression you want to convey. don’t apologize for who you are and don’t be afraid to offend. It works great because (a) it’s genuinely funny when done right and (b) it points out one of your strengths yet comes off less obnoxious and approval-seeking than outright bragging. Second. but never at your own expense. A friend of mine. I’m not going to focus on openers and how to start conversations with women. you can joke about what a 95 lb. weakling you are. There is one exception to the self-deprecating humor rule: you can use selfdeprecating humor if it’s blatantly insincere and actually points out one of your strengths: for example.COM it’s not the end of the world.The Best of TSBMAG. I’m going to focus on how to build comfort with a woman once you’re already in conversation with her. the anxiety kicks in and they start getting flustered easily.

which would have made her uncomfortable. instead of making the situation better. Once you start winning a woman over and she is warming up to you. changing locations gives the psychological 299 . You should keep playful tone and never stop teasing totally. they will feel uncomfortable around you. If she’s passionate about politics and is involved in certain causes. even playfully. it would have just highlighted the awkwardness.” His target’s jaw dropped and she was absolutely mortified. Women do not respect a man they can easily dominate or make uncomfortable. Sometimes when guys get really good at the negging and teasing and see the initial results it gets them. chosen careers and religious beliefs. they go overboard and do it for too long. If she is passionate about fashion and works in the field. why does it bother you? It’s not like you have anything to worry about looking the way you do” and just kept going with the conversation. Good rule of thumb is to be careful about negging about political stances. which would make her lose respect for him. but at some point one of the girls asked Beethoven what he and his friends were discussing earlier. didn’t backtrack and didn’t apologize. And you never. even if it’s within the bar or club. put her in a position of dominance. you risk coming off as a real obnoxious prick. often does more harm than good Fourth. know when to stop negging and teasing so much.Social Superstar enough. he ended up hooking up with her. Third. If you just keep negging and teasing at the same level you were when you first started building comfort with her. move around from place to place. annoying and dickish. But Beethoven stuck to his guns. but you do want to dial it down as you build more and more rapport with the girl. If he apologized. you earn their respect and set the foundation for building more comfort. she is going to want to start getting to know you and building rapport with you. He just looked her up and down and said “Whatever. If she’s heavily into church. and even worse. ever want to tease a girl about a topic related to her core values. And then it goes from being cute and charming to just smug. For some reason. as these tend to represent a person’s core values and insulting these. and if they do not respect you. Not only did he turn that potential negative into a positive. don’t tease or playfully insult her favorite cause or ideology. don’t mock her chosen field as frivolous or stupid. don’t mock religion. By never sounding desperate to please and never apologizing for who you are. She said “That’s not very nice” and seemed disgusted. Beethoven responded “We were just discussing how many fat girls there are here tonight.

Light. I’m not going to go into the specifics of playful touching here. do not dwell too deeply into conversation about ex's (hers or yours) and specific approaches toward sex.COM impression that you are spending more time together and bonding more. Or on the flip side. You don’t want to come off as hyperactive and spastic and moving around every 30 seconds. Then go to another part of the bar. harmless conversation.” but it’s something my friend and I always made sure to do before we ever knew what it was called. In the pickup community they call it “Kino. Moving around from venue to venue also helps build comfort. really. you’ve just guaranteed yourself a place in the friend zone. With ex-es. the more time she feels like she’s spent with you and the more comfortable she feels. but you can find tons of Kino-related articles by Bobby and Mike right here on the TSB Magazine I’m sure. Take her to another end of the bar and introduce her to some your friends. If you know how to dance. may start venting and getting worked up and then start transferring her issues with her ex 300 . Getting the balance of touching just right so that you don’t come off either too timid or too aggressive takes some trial and error. playful touching conveys sexual interest and builds attraction and sexual tension. These things can backfire too easily if you don’t know what you’re doing. she may have a lot of unresolved anger toward him. Fifth. take her to the dance floor later. don’t overdo it. which are very important when building comfort. it can end up being a light.The Best of TSBMAG. if within a bar. For example. 10 minutes later take her to some couches to sit down. If you build comfort without building attraction at the same time. A conversation will get stale quickly and turn into the foundation for a friend zone relationship if you never touch her during the conversation. Sixth. and suddenly the attraction mood is dead and you’re on the road to becoming her emotional tampon as she drones on and on about how much feelings she has for him. As with anything. such as going from one bar to a second bar to lounge to a diner…bouncing around like that gives the psychological impression to a girl that she’s just spent three or four mini-dates with you and she’ll feel more comfort with you than if you spent that exact same amount of time talking to her rooted to one spot. But there’s also the risk that she may end up talking about him at length and getting nostalgic about him and talking about how much she still loves him. lead her to a spot at the bar and order drinks. It’s an illusion. The more locations a woman associates with you. but it works. while it’s cool to playfully bring up sex. make sure to touch her whenever you can. but it’s not that hard.

As I mentioned before. here’s an example of how that can backfire. By asking her such a specific sexual questions too early before she’s built comfort and rapport with you. With women. this isn’t an exhaustive list when it comes to building comfort. and I have to get to know him very well first. And on her end. it wasn’t a great comfort-building conversation. who in this case would be you. women’s attitudes change wildly with their emotional states. thinking that making her talk about her shitty ex would be a great way to sell myself as a positive alternative. And regarding bringing up specific approaches toward sex. Instead I spent the night fielding angry questions about why guys cheat. 301 . to change their minds you must change their logic. but I think it’s a pretty good foundation. she’ll be very cognizant about coming off like a slut to a guy she barely knows and may say something like “I don’t have sex with a guy until three or four months of dating. Meanwhile. If a woman hasn’t built much attraction and comfort with you yet and you ask her what her attitude is about how soon is too soon to have sex. it’s going to mentally psyche you out and make you behave less aggressively in your comfort building. Unlike men. now that she’s verbally committed to that. Needless to say. why guys hurt women…I ended up being her convenient target for everything she hated about men.” Now that you’ve made her explicitly give a sexual timetable. you’ll get a totally different answer than you would if you asked her that same question later on when you have her on an emotional high. I made this mistake with a woman once. why guys fear commitment. Hope it helps some of you out there. You’ll start believing you have no shot of building much comfort anytime soon. to change their minds you must change their emotions. With men. she’s going to feel obligated to stick to her original conservative statement for fear of looking like a hypocrite or liar. even if she gets insanely attracted and comfortable with you later in that same conversation. if you never asked about sex at all things could have happened much more spontaneously.Social Superstar specifically and men in general toward the next closest male target.

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Day 10 Being Funnier – Make it fun!
Written by Barry Kirkey Originally Published: 06/24/2008

Every woman likes a positive man, and often, positivity takes the form of a good sense of humor. The problem with giving anyone advice about how to become funnier, is that humor is universally subjective. Meaning, every culture, sub-culture or individual decides what is funny on their own. Yeah there are exceptions, people can be told by popular media what they think is funny, but you’re not one of those people because you’re reading this article. Here are some things you can do to become funnier, in chronological order: First, find out what you like. A sense of humor is as unique as your own DNA (simile). They are usually a complex combination of joke types, body language, interest in shows/movies, and so forth. This step should normally be a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at how so many people dislike comedy. Once you find out what you like, expose yourself to it. Watch those shows and movies that you love. Watch them alone or with friends and family. Learn how to laugh out loud when you watch them, even if you’re by yourself. I would caution you, however, not to “force it down,” meaning if you’re not in the mood to watch a comedy show (sitcoms, late night, etc.) then don’t watch it. If you have the problem of never being in the mood then you need to find out why this is the case. Note: If you’re never in the mood to laugh, you may have other issues that are keeping you down. I suggest you speak to a psychologist, doctor or other professional that can determine why your mood is always down. You might be surprised to learn about what prevents you from doing what you love. This can be something as serious as depression or anxiety. However, it can also mean that you’re still, subconsciously, dealing with unresolved matters in your life (such as, a fight with your dad 6 months ago and you haven’t talked to him since). After enough exposure, you’re ready to take it to the field. Try to avoid copying other jokes directly – those Borat impressions are no longer
302

Social Superstar

funny, so don’t do them. Unless you’re a naturally funny guy – then you can get away with it, but that’s a whole different article. If you must copy, use a variation of what you’ve learned instead. For example, if you want to do a Seinfeld joke, don’t just start quoting the show. Do your worst and most annoying Seinfeld voice and exaggerate a Seinfeld-type joke as much as you can. Make it ridiculous and unexpected. While all this is going, laugh at your own jokes. Laugh as much as you can and absorb the criticism of others by laughing even more. Here’s why: Laughing is infectious. The more you laugh, the more others around you are likely to laugh as well. Not only that, but let’s consider the whole theory of conditioning by association. If you’re consistently around the same people, doing jokes often, and laughing often, people will associate you with laughter. When this happens, you’ve won the game – you’re known as “the funny guy.” “But Mr. fuckface (me)! How do I use this to get girls!?” Just by statistics, most people end up in quality relationships through other people that you already know (i.e., in the office, friend of a friend or family member). So you get the immediate benefit of being “the funny” guy in your own social circle that way. “But Mr. faggittface (me)! What about girls you don’t know?!” Okay, that’s definitely more difficult, but not impossible. With cold approaches, first impressions are the only thing you have, so make it count. Start off with the best jokes you have, make sure you laugh and you smile. If she looks down on you, make a friendly insult, “wow – someone dropped their funny basket in the toilet today!” and walk on to the next person. If you end up forced into a situation with someone who doesn’t respect your humor then this is particularly challenging, because you can potentially make an enemy without knowing it. Similar to what happened with Darth Vador, it’s difficult to turn someone from being your enemy to your friend, but not impossible. I won’t go into this situation now, because that is a discussion for those who are already polished and comfortable with their own sense of humor… Dun dun dun! Anal.
303

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Day 11 Mastering the Art of Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny
Written by The Asian Rake Originally Published: 06/25/2008

Do You Want Faster and More Powerful Seductions? How the 80/20 Principle applies to Push-Pull and Cocky-Funny? We’ve all heard about the 80/20 principle first developed by Vilfredo Pareto in the context of the distribution of income and wealth. My experience and observations have shown that the 80/20 rule applies just as well to push-pull and cocky-funny. After closely observing naturals who are masters at crazily rapid escalations and seductions, and after a lot of discussions with PUAs who have really tight game, I’ve discovered an important enhancement to the simplistic push-pull and cocky-funny concepts. This small bit of finetuning can shave a lot of time off your seductions and create much stronger, closer emotional connections. Here’s my thesis statement (yes, I’m an academic, lol): If you want to seduce a woman faster and have her more powerfully attracted to you, the optimal mix for a man who already has his fundamentals down (his body language, tonality, and basic inner game) and is interacting with a confident and attractive woman is 80% pull, 20% push. I’m not going to be too strict about the numbers. But more accurately, the optimal combination depends on how good the man’s fundamentals are and how confident the woman is. It’s a continuum with the upper end of the continuum being 80-20 pull-push. My experience has also been that pull-push is best mixed with humor. Plus, the pull and the push are opposite manifestations of cockiness. With push, you are cocky enough to think that you are too good for the girl, so you push her away. With pull, you are cocky enough to think that you are irresistible to her and to women in general, and you want her, so you pull her in. Although there is plenty to say about this combination of push-pull and cocky-funny, I’ll leave that to another article. My focus here is on the
304

Social Superstar

80/20 principle applied to the push-pull dynamic. I’ll assume here that it’s obvious that push-pull is closely connected to cocky-funny. For the classic book on push-pull, see Swingcat’s ebook, Real World Seduction. For cocky-funny, the best authority is David DeAngelo. Check out his ebook, Double Your Dating, and his DVD series, Cocky Comedy. I assume at least familiarity with push-pull and cocky-funny as described in these resources. Christian Hudson and Nick Sparks over at The Social Man are about to release a product that incorporates all the concepts in Swingcat and David D.’s books and then takes it all to another level. Watch at their site for the release. We’re good friends, so I’m a little biased, but you can go over there and check it out for yourself: What I say here is NOT for absolute newbie's, who don’t yet have their fundamentals down (body language, tonality, and basic inner game). If you still don’t know what good BL&T looks, sounds, and feels like, stop reading this and figure that out first. My point here applies to elite game. It’s for guys who want to know what it’s like to live in the top 10%, or higher, of men in this world. That’s not to say this is advanced. It’s just not for beginners. A quickie definition of push-pull straight from the pen of Swingcat: “Push-Pull is whenever you emotionally push a woman away from you and, then, emotionally pull her back in. Each Push creates an emotional space for each Pull.” We’ll be filling this out as we go along. Now let’s unpack the thesis statement. While you can succeed using almost any combination of push and pull (e.g., 80% push-20% pull, 50% push-50% pull), the combination that will generate the fastest seductions and most powerful connections is 80-20 pull-push or in other words, 80% pull-20% push. This is true only if the following also hold: a. The man has good fundamentals (good body language, tonality, tight inner game and is hence non-needy, etc.). This also applies if he is physically attractive or is perceived by the woman to have high social value. b. The woman is unusually attractive in the man’s eyes, and she is confident about her value and attractiveness. This relates to Believability. She needs to be able to be confident enough in her self-worth to accept your advances.
305

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

If both those elements are in place, then the fastest and most powerful route to sex is a mix of 80% pull-20% push. [CAVEAT: If the man only has average fundamentals and the woman is only of average confidence in her own attractiveness and value, then the optimal mix is further down the continuum and closer to 50-50 pushpull. This is because pulling a woman closer to you emotionally is only effective when you already have a basic level of attraction from the woman. Of course, we all know that this kind of attraction is largely independent of one’s physical appearance. Over 90% of this kind of attraction is attributable to body language and tonality alone. That’s why I call these the fundamentals. Your attitude and outlook are also crucial to pulling off the right BL&T, so I include inner game as a factor for the sake of completeness.] Pushing a woman away is effective when a woman looks at you and doesn’t expect you to be cocky. It throws her off and is hence funny. It’s like when a precocious child talks like an adult, using mature and sophisticated vocabulary, sentence structure, etc. It’s unexpected and incongruent with the kid’s image, and hence, kind of funny, and if done right, it’s admirable. Now imagine a 50 year old, sophisticated-looking man talking the same way. It’s not funny anymore. It’s just normal and expected. Similarly, when a below average looking guy uses a lot of push cockyfunny, talking as if he’s too good for her and using humorous sarcasm, it’s attractive because the woman begins to wonder, “How can this guy be so cocky? He must have something going for him that I can’t see yet. I’m interested.” And because it’s done in a comedic way, she’s not offended, but rather, intrigued. Now if a guy who has his fundamentals down (good BL&T), a goodlooking guy, or a guy perceived to have high value starts to push her away emotionally, she’s not intrigued. Why? Because it’s obvious why this guy is so cocky. He’s good-looking, high-value, or has an attractive personality. It’s not funny anymore because it’s expected and congruent with his image. He just comes across cocky. For a guy like this to use cocky-funny, he has to really emphasize the humor and really cut down on the cocky part.
306

Social Superstar

Most people overlook the fact that David D. himself acknowledged this in one of his newsletters: "If you’re a pretty good looking guy, you might turn down the cocky, and turn up the funny. Women perceive good-looking guys who act cocky as MAJOR PLAYERS, and too much cocky too soon can backfire on you.” More accurately, this isn’t just true for guys who are good-looking. If your fundamentals are strong, or you’re perceived as high-value, then it applies just as well to you. It’s the push dynamic that makes these high-value or good-looking guys come across as too unattainable. For guys like this, it’s best to use the pull dynamic more often and save the push dynamic for that 20% of dramatic contrast. And obviously, when a guy with good fundamentals, attractive appearance, or high social value is perceived as a “major player,” it is very bad for his Believability. You can do it the opposite way, of course. You can do mainly push and just a little pull, like 80% push and 20% pull. Or you can be very cocky and only a little funny. Sure, you can get success that way, too. But for the most part, if your fundamentals are already strong, then: 1) You can get much faster seductions by pulling her in more often than you can by pushing her away. 2) You can get the girl to feel a deeper emotional bond with you by pulling more often than pushing. Here’s why: 1. If your fundamentals are good, then you will be a relatively DOMINANT, powerful, and confident man. Hence, girls (and most people in general) will naturally feel like following your lead. So when you tell a girl to sit down, she will feel a strong social and emotional pull to sit down. When you’re emotionally pulling a girl in by telling her to kiss you, she will have to work extra hard to resist. Most girls like a strong, dominant, powerful, confident guy, and many girls have the fantasy of “being taken” by such a man. Any resistance they give to such a man is just token.

307

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

Thus, if you already have good fundamentals (BL&T and basic inner game), and you want to shave massive amounts of time off your seductions, you’re better off pulling the girl in more frequently than pushing her away because the chances are good she will give in more often than not. Ah, but Asian Rake, when you push a girl away, doesn’t she want to pull you in? Isn’t that the whole point of pushing her away? So you can get her to chase you? Yes, to a certain extent, this is true. That’s why you SHOULD STILL PUSH. That’s the all-important 20%. In fact, by pulling most of the time, when you do finally push her away, it’ll feel that much more powerful to her. If you’re a dominant guy, girls will feel pressure to follow your orders, and unless she’s very dominant herself, chances are good that she will NOT pull you in return every time you push her away. Chances are good that if you are a dominant man, when you push her further away, she will follow your lead and remain further away. Assuming the pushes and pulls are of about equal emotional intensity (that’s one variable I’m leaving out here), if you PULL more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re dominant, she’ll follow your lead and move closer to you emotionally and physically. If you PUSH more often than not, she might resist you at first, but then because you’re a dominant guy, she’ll follow your lead and move further away from you emotionally and physically. Sure you can generate attraction with most combinations of push-pull. But what’s faster to sex? When she’s emotionally and physically closer to you, or when she’s emotionally and physically farther from you? It should be obvious. This is how the best naturals I’ve seen get bathroom lays in less than 15 minutes. It’s pull-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull-PUSH-pull-pull-pull to the bathroom. 2. By pulling more often than pushing, you can also create the deep emotional connections much faster.
308

of course. A far more efficient way to develop emotional connections is to pull her in emotionally. If your Believability game is good then every qualification is actually a pull. “Wow.” And of course. helpfully lays it all out in his Double Your Dating: I’m going to play hard to get. she’ll feel like you really appreciate her for her unique qualities.Social Superstar If you’re continually pushing her away emotionally. Pull Cocky-Funny? Once again. this guy really. One very effective kind of pull technique is in conjunction with screening and qualifying. how can she possibly feel an emotional connection? This should be obvious. make fun of her. probably the best way to illustrate what I mean is through examples. Now let’s add the COCKY-FUNNY into the mix. but this is one of the easiest to do. is a great example of a pull. and generally bust her balls as much as possible. PUSH COCKY-FUNNY The prime proponent of this is David D. truly. this is also a key technique for creating the kind of emotional connections that will get girls to fall in love with you FAST. you are really adventurous. however. I’m going to blow her off and make her prove to me that she wants me… so I can reject her again.” said in response to her little adventure story. When you stack enough of these. like sharing secrets and using childhood regression. be indifferent towards her. I know that she loves a guy that is so sarcastic that it makes her nervous. sincerely likes me for my special qualities. she’ll want to open herself up and continue connecting with you. I like that. For instance. Btw. David D. so I’m going to really keep the heat on… and when she starts to show any interest at all on the outside. She’ll be saying to herself. 309 . What exactly do I mean by Push Cocky-Funny vs. There are others. Let’s first talk about the internal mindset behind Push Cocky-Funny. “Wow.

as if he needs to sell any more. I could go on forever.’s materials. so I’ll give you one of my own examples. Me: OMG! (Then. “Push Cocky-Funny. First tell me where you’re from. follows this up with some now classic examples: I do crazy things. LOL. with a sigh and a love-sick puppy dog look. (Pull #3) HB (laughing): No way. which is what I call.” they’re thinking this kind of cocky-funny. You’re driving me crazy. I never thought I’d be plugging David D. and I jump in front of her with my hands slightly extended in front of my chest in a “stopping” motion with my palms out. (Pull #2) HB (breaking out laughing): Where are you from? Me: From? It doesn’t matter. I’ll turn to her and say in a completely serious voice.The Best of TSBMAG. “Will you PLEASE stop touching me?” And then look them right in the eye. I say after lowering my hands) I’m in love with you… Give me your number.” PULL COCKY-FUNNY This is my default style of cocky-funny. When most guys think “cocky-funny. but you’re better off reading his eBook or watching his DVD series Cocky Comedy. which is just about the only place in the club where you can talk without speaking right into her ear. “What are you doing at a bar for god sakes? Can’t you find a nice normal guy? Or are you desperate?” All with a completely straight face. A super cute. like if I’m standing next to a girl at a bar. (Pull #1) HB (shocked): Huh? Are you crazy? Why? Me (with an incredulous look on my face): Why? I mean. Or say. Wow. I want your number. tonality.COM You notice that with this mindset. This took place near the coat check of a huge nightclub. you’ll be pushing her away a lot more than you’ll be pulling her in. I learned from a natural friend that this sort of thing is best done when you’re a bit over the top or dramatically exaggerated in what you say and in your facial expressions. and body language. 310 . It should be a crime for you to walk in public. long-haired beauty walks by. just look at you. David D.

as my natural friends have shown. You can’t go. you’re making me really nervous. This sort of Pull Cocky-Funny can get you super fast make outs and. give me your number. That was 5 pulls to 1 push. (Push #1) HB laughed. HB (laughs): Okay. There are many other tales to recount about naturals such as him. For an example of a fast make out. and now you’re calling me a liar? That’s it. see the LR that features my first encounter with NaturalMD:. We talked a little bit more. My hands are all cold and sweaty. and then I let her go back to her friends. some of which you can find elsewhere on my site and some of which I might write about in the future. club bathroom sex. I’ll be so sad… I’m going to go home and cry now (and then I slumped my shoulders as if completely sad and depressed). wait. bye. Notice the push-pull ratio here. (Then. Me (throwing off her hand and looking shocked): Are you calling me a liar? I’ve just confessed my deep dark love for you.” and started walking off. You’ll have to check back for those. Zan is probably the best representative of this kind of cockyfunny. check the mASF archives or google. I don’t even think that push was necessary. (Pull #5) HB laughed. In fact. I take her hand in mine). (Pull #4) HB (laughing): You’re not nervous.) You know. HB: Um. Me (stepping out in front of her again and knowing that she’s just teasing and wants me to chase her): No. China? Me: Pretty close… (Taking a step closer to her so that we’re inches apart. I texted her about an hour later. Among the community oldtimers. and she texted back. Here. I say in a quieter tone. You can have the dog. HB said (with a smile): “Okay.” 311 . Me (perking up and letting out a sly smile): Okay. I said nothing and continued looking fake-mad. feel. Another great example comes from Zan. We’re getting a divorce… But I’m keeping the DVDs. The one push came after 4 pulls. … guess.Social Superstar Me: Okay. If you haven’t read any of his materials yet. asking what I was doing tomorrow… But that’s for another LR. “enlightened seduction.

her boyfriend objections (or whatever) mean nothing to me. HER: No! I told you last time I have a boyfriend. In other words. I have two bottles of champagne at home. As if she had never resisted me in the first place. or you’re good-looking. ZAN: Oh hey. or you have high perceived social value. ZAN: (big smile) Hello. But if I ever see her again. around 80%-20% is ideal. Zan pulls her in about seven times. HER: I can’t. ever worry about a woman’s resistance to me. Both can work. Did you miss me? HER: Hardly. I immediately go up to her. smile and wink. If she says she is not interested and leaves. Just about everything he says is a pull. so you’re still seeing Norman? HER: Uh… his name’s not Norman. Push Cocky-Funny vs. HER: No thanks. then you can get faster seductions and make deeper connections by doing more Pull than Push. tonality. ZAN: One to drink and one to pour all over your body… HER: You never give up. would it? HER (laughing) No. This is the ideal kind of frame to be operating from when doing Pull Cocky-Funny. Tell me your number and I’ll remember it. And keep it all funny. Pull Cocky-Funny. ZAN: I want to see you. 312 . But if you have good fundamentals (body language. I will pick you up at 7. My boyfriend wouldn’t like it. sweetie. ZAN: Oh. ZAN: (smile. He’s cocky because he believes that she’d be crazy to turn him down. do you? ZAN: Of course not! Wouldn’t be the same if I did. and basic inner game).COM There are so many possibilities to choose from. no problem. I understand… let’s make it 8 then. wink) Really? That’s very interesting. I suppose not… I find this whole exchange completely charming and hilarious. but this conversation of his has stuck in my mind for a while now: ZAN: Come out with me for a drink tonight. So there you have it. and pick up right where I left off. So her objections don’t even register with him. and you are interacting with a confident and attractive woman.The Best of TSBMAG. I never.

Hopefully by being consciously aware of these mistakes you can catch yourself in the act. others will juggle the loose change in their pocket. By avoiding eye contact with people not only are you giving off a low status vibe. and taking up as little space as possible. For me. 313 . Subconsciously people slouch because they are timid and don’t want attention on them. bowing their heads. Less confident people tend to look down a lot. and quickly correct them. but you’re missing out on opportunities to connect with other human beings. Slouching over is a way of keeping a low profile. 2. When people feel insecure or nervous they start to have trouble sitting still. Touching Your Face. They are afraid that if they catch eye contact with someone they will be forced to talk or smile or do something else beyond their comfort zone. Fiddling with Things. Some people will rub their chin or neck. other people with run their hand through their hair. Their insecurity eats away at them and they feel forced to constantly be moving their hands. Doing any of these things immediately screams that you are not comfortable in your present situation. The first part of this lesson I want to make you aware of the different ways you are conveying low status. By taking the time to first break any of these bad habits you may have. it took watching myself on video a few times to really appreciate how many mistakes I was actually making. you will be making it possible to accept the new habits I will talk about later. 3. Body Language mistakes 1. People try to blend in with the crowd by slumping their shoulders. It portrays an image that you are socially awkward and unable to properly socialize.Social Superstar Day 12 Body Language 101 Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published:06/26/2008 The first thing you need to accept about your body language is that right now you’re probably completely unaware of the mistakes that you are making. They do this because it is a way of avoiding making a connection with someone. Slouching Over. Avoiding Eye Contact.

Habit 3: Keep your muscles relaxed. If you don’t have a naturally attractive smile than you should practice in front of a mirror. If someone else is talking to you. 314 . Tell your friends to point this out to you. A smile displays a positive energy that is infectious. While doing the talking you should be holding eye contact for the majority of the time. It displays a lack of enthusiasm and energy towards life. Habit 2: Get in the habit of walking around with your head up and your neck straight. In the beginning you will need to constantly be checking yourself. Body Language Habits of the Alpha Male This second part of this lesson is designed to improve your body language and replace the negative habits you may have been displaying. causing her to move toward him. 5. These are not the kind of people other people want to interact with. This displays the image that you’re too bored or tired to bother holding up your head straight. hold eye contact about 50% of the time. Spread yourself out a bit. The idea is to take up some space. The successful guys are usually relaxed leaning away from the girl. Habit 1: Make it a practice to hold eye contact with everyone that you meet. Leaning Forward to Talk to Someone. When we tend to get nervous we tense up in the jaw. Habit 6: You should keep your feet about as far apart as your shoulders. If you’re talking to a group of people switch eye contact up between the different members of the group… but always be holding it with someone. Habit 7: Take up space when you sit. It can also give off the impression that you’re uncomfortable with the way you look and are trying to hide your face. and which guys will fail.The Best of TSBMAG. This is another habit you will have to check often to avoid falling back into the old habit of slouching. You need to keep your face free of this stress. The unsuccessful guys are the ones bent over leaning forward.. This is especially true of your facial muscles. but don’t be afraid to get comfortable. Create a little game with yourself to remind yourself to pay attention to your posture.COM 4. Habit 4: Smile often. A quick glance around a room can tell you which guys are going to succeed with the women they are talking to. Habit 5: Push your chest out a bit and pull your shoulders back. Don’t slouch and look sloppy. If you think she can’t hear you… talk louder.. Holding Your Face up with Your Hand. as they appear to have nothing to offer.

all the same rules apply to it. Every gesture you make should flow naturally at the same speed as your previous gestures. do it slowly like it doesn’t embarrass you that she noticed. Most guys talk too much. While technically it isn’t body language. Most people speak with weak. Habit 9: Avoid making sudden hyper gestures. relax. Don’t do it! Learn to lean back. shoulders back. learn how to speak slower… and how to articulate every word better. You want to give off the vibe that you know where it is and already are heading there. The trick to pulling all these habits together is to use slow calculated gestures. If you’re grabbing a drink off the bar take it at a speed that says “I’m in no hurry. This is especially true when walking through a bar… you never want to give off the vibe that you’re looking for the cool place to be. When talking to someone avoid clutching on to your beer or putting your hands in your pocket. Body language and voice tone habits are not easy to change. Try never to appear to be in a hurry or flustered.Social Superstar Habit 8: Walk with confidence and power. chest puffed out a bit. and become comfortable with the tension that comes from silence. Habit 10: Use hand gestures when telling a story. too fast. neck up. This means your head should be high. Learn to speak from down in your chest and stomach. If you’re giving a girl a once over. squeaky voices that convey the message: “I’m not confident… I have no self esteem”. it hurts”. Learn how to speak with a deeper voice. you’re going to need to take a few lessons from Barry White. how to blink slowly. and take big slow steps. Also. This kind of body language transmits the message: “I’m so comfortable in my own skin.” Try learning how to turn your head slowly. and feel like they need to talk because they’re nervous. how to change facial expressions slowly… and how to gesture slowly. But if you implement these habits over rest of these 31 days you will find that eventually it will become natural to you. Also walk with direction. Become comfortable pausing… it creates anticipation. It takes time and determination to break a bad habit and replace it with a new one. If you want to attract beautiful women. On the subject of body language… voice tone is insanely important. 315 . Add more bass to your voice.

The Best of TSBMAG. 316 . then all the techniques you’re learning will work TEN times better.COM If you work on using your BODY AND VOICE to communicate that you’re a confident. sexually aware alpha male.

com/2008/06/28/building-your-social-circleday-13/ Or search for “Building Your Social Circle” on TSBMAG.com 317 .tsbmag.Social Superstar Day 13 Building your Social Circle http://www.

I’m not out at bars testing out my latest and greatest “teasing” method… nor do I really expect YOU to be. I don’t view it as a way to “pull” a woman down to your level.) First and foremost. and the interactions I’ve have with guys that aren’t having any problems in the “woman” department. That being said. They are: The Opinion Opener Teasing Your Look (clothes.The Best of TSBMAG. In fact. let me just say that this article is NOT going to be some PROFOUND. here are the MOST important “things” that if you get down that will make the most impact in your dating/relationship life… bar none. So… with that aside… let's get to it… let's talk a little about my way of teasing women… and how it sparks sexual tension. or get them to see that whatever’s going on it their life really isn’t that bad at all. (Note: I DO NOT do this for a living. This is just a collection of what I KNOW to be true from my personal life. hair) Your Body (best inner game changer… EVER!) If you can get these 4 aspects of your “game” down… you’ll CRUSH most men. the whole point of teasing is to create a fun environment where women can loosen up and open up to you.COM Day 14 How to Properly Tease a Woman Written by Brad Howard Originally Published: 06/30/2008 Before I start. Here’s what I mean: 318 . complicated. Teasing is also a great way to shake someone out of a funk. no matter how good looking she is I find that if you’re pulling YOURSELF down to HER level… you’ll find better success. piece of work that I’m trying to make sound more insightful than it probably is… It seems that everyone is doing that nowadays and I think that the message that people are trying to convey is getting lost in the fray.

Here’s the thing about teasing though. 319 . she’s likely to be playful back. you might hear someone tell you to say. I just picked ‘em up and I always seem to screw this up… ha-ha”. If you’re playful. Don’t use teasing to “knock” a woman down. A woman’s ego is like a glass house and teasing in this way COULD be like throwing a ROCK into it. Would I RECOMMEND that you try it if you’re a rookie at the whole “teasing” game? Um… HELL NO! And here’s why. So. The WHOLE POINT of teasing is to make the woman FEEL GOOD by being around you. and ask a woman “I need your opinion on something… and be BRUTAL… what do you think of these shoes. that I DON’T condone. To which you could say something like. Teasing works BEST with women that you already know… or that you’ve just met through a circle of friends (especially if you have a bit of notoriety amongst the group for being a fun guy). everything is working for you tonight EXCEPT those shoes… where did you get those?” Is there a way to say this so that it works? Absolutely. For instance. many times. She feels uncomfortable now… and the conversation takes a negative tone. For instance. “Setting up TEASE BAIT” Teasing is no fun if only one person is doing it. but I don’t usually use it.Social Superstar I like to use self depreciating humor to set up teasing. “Ah ha! I KNEW you were some type of shoe guru. Where did you get your special talent (smile)?” And that’s just for opening someone up. if you come from a place of strength. It might work for some. It’s meant to be fun. I’ll throw out some self-depreciating humor as BAIT to get the ball rolling. “You know.

POWERFUL STUFF here. You: “Whoa. “The Accusation Tease” This one is FUN. what you’re up to…You may continue… (smile. confident guy… you don’t take yourself so seriously) So maybe I’ll tell a fun story that people can laugh at (like the time I locked myself out of my hotel room NAKED and had to walk down to the desk NAKED to get another key) and then ACCUSE people of having similar stories. (smile) Her: “Whatever. but they are just too scared to tell anyone about them. I am not” 320 . yeah.COM (The KEY to self-depreciating humor is that although you’re a strong. Nelly… I know you’re just trying to get me drunk so you can take me home and do dirty things to me. So you say: “Yeah. Her: “(maybe changing subject)” You: (laughing) “You can change the subject if you want. wink) This also works well if you want to take it to a sexual level. yeah I know… ha-ha). Basically. Again.The Best of TSBMAG. just say so. Who knows. if you get on one knee and smile really pretty… I MIGHT even say yes…” Her: “I AM NOT!” You: “It’s okay. the reason this works is because people (women) can see how SECURE you are with yourself because MOST men would NEVER tell a story in which THEY were the one being made fun of. but just remember that I KNOW (point to head). all you’re doing is ACCUSING the other person of trying to do something that YOU want to happen. I use this ALL the time. if you wanna ask me out. You don’t have to keep beating around the bush. On closer look. really… it won’t make you a lesser person (smile). I get it… Look. Let’s say that you want to ask a person out on a date (bland. This works REALLY well.

Missy… (whisper) it’s gonna take more than one (smile) Guys. I couldn’t think of a better term for this but here’s the gist of it. would that mean you wouldn’t hang out any more? I TOTALLY expected more out of you. feeling me up already and we just got here… geez…” “The Frame-Banging Tease” Okay. You: (Smiling) “Are you going to get in a better mood… huh… are you? Her: “Stop it!” 321 . Start slow at first.) If she doesn’t snap out of her funk with this. we now have to employ our most SECRET WEAPON… “The Tickle Tease” NOTHING changes the tone of a conversation faster than some “good ole” tickling. I’ve had such a shitty day… (blah. Say your woman.” (You’re doing this to show her that it’s CRAZINESS for her to feel like she’s feeling… naturally. this is what happened)” You: (Smiling) “Wow. I never expected YOU to let (someone/something) get under your skin like this. well. we can go on and on with this but I hope you get my drift. or even a woman that you just met has had a really rotten day… but you want some sex… because. Here’s what you do: Her: “Man. They are tongue in check and playful. To which you can reply: “Dang. Using the accusation tease is a SURE way to get her to give you a “love tap”… or punch on the arm… or a light shove.Social Superstar You: “Man. blah. Here’s a hint. you’re a guy and that’s what guys want. why is it that every woman thinks that she can buy you a drink and then try to get in your pants. Like a little bit. What would you do if I lost my hair all of the sudden. keep in mind that these ARE NOT serious conversations.

Fun Stuff. because I could literally go on forever on this topic… physical humor and teasing ROCKS. 322 . It’s the ULTIMATE way of flirting and getting her to chase you. I can’t help the fact that almost everyone else in life is lame. I also like walking up behind my woman and “shanking” her if she has on sweats or loose shorts in the house… and then ACT like I’m going to do it when we’re out in public. so I stole that from “Stripes”… shoot me) Then you just start kissing and BLAMMO! Bumming Monkeys Time. When you are teasing a woman. make sure that it’s fun for HER… but that you are ALSO AMUSING YOURSELF at the SAME TIME. bring back the old school “You’ve Got Something On Your Shirt” gag… where you point at a spot on her shirt and when she looks down. I like to think of it as “playing with myself” without all the mess. Teasing is a fun way to build attraction and BOOKS have been written on the subject. all while showing your strength as a man. If you’re walking side by side and there is a physical object on her side… slowly start walking her into it. I can’t believe I just said BLAMMO… ha-ha (The above statement is a great example of self depreciating humor.COM You: (tickling) “Are you in a better mood yet? Tell me I’m the greatest ever… who’s your buddy… who’s your pal… (okay. you bonk her nose with your finger. Or… and this is always fun. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people ask me: “You just trip yourself out don’t you?” Me: “Absolutely. Wow. For example. That’s fun too. by the way) “Physical Teasing” Before I end this. Here’s my final tip on teasing… and pay attention because this is important. That always works great.The Best of TSBMAG.

laughing… Note: Having fun. I’m done. (smiling. with a touch of self depreciation as well) That’s it. 323 .Social Superstar You should try it sometime instead of living in “lame-o land”.

And guess what???…half of those are women! WHAT TYPES OF GIRLS ARE ON THESE SITES? Social networking sites are different than traditional dating sites. but there are also 324 . a bar. but thanks to the emergence and popularity of social networking sites like MySpace and Facebook this is all changing. there are well over 200 million members on MySpace alone with around 300.000 new users joining every day from around the world. the hot bartender. clubs.000 new users a day.COM Day 15 How to Create a Kick Ass MySpace and Facebook Profile Written by Race de Priest Originally Published: 07/01/2008 WHY ONLINE GAME ROCKS AND HOW YOU CAN GET STARTED RIGHT NOW Now that the internet is such a big part of our lives. The fact of the matter is the same women you meet out at bars. It’s not just for young people either. Facebook is close behind with about 250. Just as you would go to the mall. bookstores and coffee shops are on social networking sites. you can use social networking sites to connect with and meet like-minded new friends.The Best of TSBMAG. The girl next door. And because it is continually becoming more and more socially acceptable these same girls are open to meeting up with guys they met online. You should really view them as an online hang out. that cute girl standing in line at Starbuck’s today are all online. at any given point in time there are more women online than there are in every bar in your city combined. the coffee shop or a club to hang out and meet new people. Obviously these sites are overflowing with women in their early 20’s and 30’s. In many respects the idea of meeting people online is still fairly new. In fact. So how are you supposed to go about meeting and dating women from online? Is a woman weird for meeting a guy from sites like MySpace and Facebook? Can you actually legitimately meet sane AND hot women from online? Every time there is a new way of doing something it takes time for people to get comfortable with it.

You have as much time as you need to craft the perfect response. In a sense. At the same time you will be corresponding with several different women simultaneously so there is no bother if a particular girl doesn’t respond. Many of the world's best PUA’s and Social 325 . It’s like owning a bar where the bouncer only let’s in girls that fit exactly what you want. As you can see. the reasons to add online game as a way to meet and date women is quite compelling. Pacific Islander. she gets to see a more accurate picture of who you are while allowing you to learn at your own pace how to successfully interact with women. In addition. Say you want a girl who is: Between 22 and 26 5′0″-5′7″ Single/divorced Christian White. or Asian Slender or Athletic body No Children Straight Social Drinker Non smoker Some College or College Graduate Within 5 miles of your zip You can literally search for the exact type of woman you are looking for. She can’t shoot you down or embarrass you in front of her friends or other people.Social Superstar tons of women between 34 to 44 as well. THERE IS NO APPROACH ANXIETY ONLINE There is absolutely no social pressure when messaging women online. Do you really want to miss out on such an easy way to meet all these women? I didn’t think so. But it gets even better… IMAGINE A BAR FULL OF WOMEN HANDPICKED BY YOU When you meet women from sites like MySpace and Facebook you can literally browse and filter so that only the types of women you are looking for show up. there is no “fear of rejection”. This is a relief for many guys who have trouble knowing what to say. When you are relaxed at your house you are more able to come up with an authentic responses. If a girl does not respond you simply move on…no harm no foul. she is just a picture and some text.

you need to create a profile that connects with that type of girl. a girl can figure out if you have any attractive qualities. favorite movies. your hobbies. if you are unsure. what type of lifestyle you live.e. it literally WORKS FOR YOU! It’s like having your own personal PR firm who goes ahead of you and gets all the girls excited about wanting to meet you when you arrive. It will form the basis for what a woman thinks about you and how she will interact with you. books. But the underlying principles are universal and many of the guys we have successfully coached used them all over the world on sites like Bebo. Once again. Match. Orkut. and music).COM Artists still maintain their online profiles despite meeting women out in person because it is just too good not too. Here are the major things to keep in mind as you design your profile: Keep in mind the type of girl you want to attract. etc. your profile says a lot about you. what kind of job you have or what you do. There are many elements that go into setting up your profile correctly. Hyves. Remember to create a profile that is appealing to the type of girl you want to attract. what kind of friends you have. go to the profiles of the types of girls you want to attract and copy their style or the style of the guy friends they have. After all. what you look like. Simplicity and Readability 326 . If you want a bad girl with tattoos.The Best of TSBMAG. your interests (i. Now the question is… HOW DO I SET UP MY PROFILE SO IT ATTRACTS WOMEN? Note: I will be specifically focusing on MySpace and Facebook because these are by far the largest social networking sites on the planet. This is huge! Once you set your profile up correctly. From your profile alone. if other women are attracted to you. and somewhat of how popular you are. Think of your profile as the online equivalent of your first impression. Friendster. HOW TO GET STARTED MEETING ALL THOSE CUTE GIRLS ONLINE The fist crucial step in meeting all those hot girls you see online is setting up your profile correctly.

When to write and what to write Take careful consideration about what you write about yourself.Social Superstar Your mom was right about making things legible. movies. the beautiful women you hang out with every weekend.e. List movies like The Little Mermaid. 327 . I don’t care”. Be goofy. than to write your whole life story and bore her. You want your profile to be as easy to read as possible. If you try to write about how cool you are. Things you DONT WANT to do in your About Me section: • DO NOT try to sell yourself by talking about how cool you are. You don’t need to go overboard in this area. Women will abandon your profile quickly if it takes too much effort to get an idea of who you are. They will most likely see this and say “I don’t know you. the fun things you do. etc. and hobby interests. white text on a black background or any light on dark color scheme). the fun things you do. etc. And girls who don’t know you have no reason to spend their time reading about you unless you’ve compelled them to. It is better to be brief yet have variety and keep her guessing. simplicity and readability is the key. and music by artists like the Spice Girls. DO NOT write your life story. Show her you are not a tool. Girls who don’t know you have no reason to spend their time reading about you. the beautiful women you hang out with. A good way to start out is to use a solid background with contrasting text colors (i. you will be perceived as trying too hard to gain approval. You will be perceived as trying too hard to gain approval. DO NOT be overly offensive DO NOT have terrible grammar/misspellings • • • Things you WANT to do in your About Me section: • • • Be Diverse List a variety of music.

spontaneous. clever rather than cool. you can let her go. Here are a few examples of disqualifying statements: Rules for being my MySpace/Facebook friend: • • • • • No liars (unless you are flirting) No flaky people No granny panties! (unless you are actually a grandma ) No psycho stalker chicks! I don’t care how hot you think you are! No BORING PEOPLE … You must be fun Another option is to put up a qualifying statement on your page. “I love meeting new people” or “I surround myself with positive. and outrageous people. we need just enough to intrigue her. Make her curious to find out more about you. A disqualifier is any statement that demonstrates you have standards by declaring that the recipient is unqualified or ineligible for you. than to write your whole life story and bore her. Going back to the characteristics women screen for. • Be Creative In your About Me section. Again. but not so much as to bore her.” It doesn’t have to be long. be creative. Having standards indicates abundance and a strong sense of identity.COM • When writing it is better to be brief yet have variety and keep her guessing.The Best of TSBMAG. giving her more reason to search for a connection with you. Don’t say “I’m new to this whole MySpace/Facebook thing” or “all my friends are on here so I figured I would create an account.” Talk about things like. You can even leave out your interests. fun. petite 328 . Here is one that we have used and has been very effective placed under the Who I’d Like to Meet section on MySpace or the About Me section on Facebook: “If you are cute rather than hot. Use Disqualifying Statements Create a small list of disqualifiers. you want to be an enigma she wants to figure out. You know what you want and you have enough options so that if a girl does not match up.

It is as if each picture is showing off a different side of your personality. If you do not know what you want. In most cases. On Facebook. Embed pictures into your profile We have found that actually embedding pictures into your profile is the easiest and most effective way to make a great first impression on girls. As we have already learned.Social Superstar rather than slim. and that is one of the most important first steps to attracting a woman online. now is the time to sit down and figure it out. you just need to add an application like Big Photo or Slideshows. On MySpace. Your pictures can make her curious. the first step is to upload your pictures to an image hosting site like www. and see which ones receive the highest rating.HotorNot.com or your own MySpace photo album. some of you with your niece or your dog.” You must show that you have standards. They want a man with a sense of mystery. Have some action shots. a challenge to figure out. If you upload ten pictures and you only look good in three of them. some partying with hot girls. Choose only the best Choose only the pictures in which you look the best. 329 . etc. You don’t want to have twelve pictures of you drinking beer with your buddies. put your pictures up on a photo-rating site like www. some doing something goofy. This allows a girl to get a snapshot of how exciting and fun you are. these will be a woman’s first impression of you. then I would like to meet you.com. Why not make it as good as possible? The following are some guidelines to follow when choosing what pictures to use: Use a variety You want to have pictures depicting you doing a variety of different activities. A PICTURE IS WORTH A THOUSAND WORDS The pictures you choose to use on your profile are vitally important. some travel shots. your page is your way of demonstrating how cool and how socially desirable you are. Women like men who know what they want. It would be far better to only have those three in which you look your best. Remember. Use a range of pictures showing different aspects of your personality. women like a man with some depth to him. then the other seven are creating a bad impression. If in doubt.photobucket.

Who I’d like to Meet): <img src=”http://www. rock-climbing. or one of you doing something exciting like surfing. You can find music on MySpace in the Music section. if you are going to put up a picture of just yourself. Interests. go out to a club and tell the hottest girl you can find that you need some new MySpace/Facebook pictures to make your ex-girlfriend jealous. Using a playlist is even better.jpg” width=”400”> <br /> Where http://www. etc. make sure you are in good shape and doing an activity where it is appropriate to have it off (i.e. The playlist tool we use is: www. playing football. By specifying the width property in the <img> tag you ensure that your photos will have a consistent width (the height of the image will be adjusted automatically to maintain the original aspect ratio). Girls love to make other girls jealous! Caution: If you are going to put up a picture of you with your shirt off.). at the beach.projectplaylist.com/images/pic. Hint: write funny captions to go along with your pictures to demonstrate even more of your personality Just paste the following HTML code above the embed image code shown above: <div><font size=+2>Picture caption</font></div> Main profile picture For your main profile picture. That way you can have a whole variety of music.com/images/pic. make it either a really good/professional picture (no wannabe modeling pictures with your shirt off please).COM Next. paste the following HTML code into any section you want the photo to show up (i. 330 .imagehost. If you don’t have any. About Me.com. Otherwise make it a group picture with cute girls in it.The Best of TSBMAG. But just to be safe. which you can get to from the main navigation bar at the top of the page. We have received so many comments on the songs we have chosen. don’t put up a picture of you shirtless…EVER! OTHER USEFUL ATTRACTION ELEMENTS AND TIPS Use Music Music is a great way to connect with girls. This technique will ensure that your images are not too large and that they’re easy to view.e.jpg will be re-placed with the URL pointing to your image. posing in front of the Eiffel Tower. This is just one more way for her to connect with you. dancing.imagehost. etc.

text td.e. You don’t randomly give your personal contact information to people you don’t know.padding:0.” Adjust your Privacy Settings (FACEBOOK ONLY) There is far more of your personal contact information available to the general public on Facebook than on MySpace. she will definitely wonder. just say something like.text span.text table td. td.} td. comments you received. it would be counterproductive for them to see that you have messaged other girls with the same or even similar messages For this reason.text td.text . If she can’t see your friends and sees a number of comments from gorgeous looking girls. td.text table table td {padding:3. you can place this code in any section to hide your friends list: <style type=”text/css”> td. comments you made.border:0. what you wrote. and even when you add a friend! For the simple fact that you are going to be messaging multiple girls.text td.} </style> We recommend you do this anyway. If she ever asks you why your friends are hidden. We suggest that you remove all of your personal information such as email addresses and cell phone numbers.} td.} td. td.text td.text td.Social Superstar Hide your Friends List (MYSPACE ONLY) If you are just starting and have no friends.btext {display:none.text table {height:0. Facebook also lists all of your recent actions on the site through a system called Mini-Feed. “They all kept getting jealous about who was #1” or “I am a secret agent. By default it lists all kinds of information like who you wrote to.text td. and I don’t want to put my friends’ lives in peril.ztext table . so why do it online? While the mini-feed makes it convenient to see what your friends are up to online.text table br.text table table br {display:inline.redlink.text table table table. 331 .text td.} td. td. we recommend you configure the privacy settings for News Feed and Mini-Feed by unchecking (i.text td.text td. they can also see what you are up to. turning off) most if not all of the notifications. You can modify your privacy settings by clicking on the “privacy” link next to the “logout” link in the top right corner.orangetext15.text table {background-color:transparent.text td. which you can get using the technique we’ll cover next. td.

Thanks. It’s brilliant! Note: Make sure to use this technique with girls outside your area.(name) These comments will give you social proof. she will wonder what makes you so sexy. demonstrate that there are a variety of different people that enjoy your company and show that you can have fun and laugh at yourself. The hottest girl I can find 2. .COM Create Instant Social Proof To get comments on your MySpace page or Facebook wall from beautiful women just use this message: Subject: I was wondering … Body: My ex is stalking my profile. Could you leave a comment to make her jealous? You know how it is…haha. This adds an air of mystique and ensures you don’t tap out potential girls in your area. The dorkiest girl I can find Can you guess which one you are? Haha…so if you could help me out I will name my first born child after you… ha-ha j/k but I would really appreciate it . The cutest girl I can find 3.{your name/screen name/nickname} or Subject: Strange Question Body: My crazy friends are sending me on an online scavenger hunt (I didn’t even know they had those?) for my (put in bday or some event that compels her to want to help you) and I have to get a sassy/fun comment on my page from the following: 1. So when a new girl looks at your page and sees all these other attractive girls writing sexy things about you. Make your profile easy to read. THINK OF IT AS YOUR OWN PERSONAL COMMERCIAL All in all think about your profile as your own personal commercial. show that you have a diverse personality. A girl should be able to look at your profile and very quickly get an idea of what you are all about.The Best of TSBMAG. Having your profile set up correctly will literally supercharge your success with women online and put you light 332 . This mystery builds attraction.

Remember to have fun with this and if you have any questions feel free to ask.Social Superstar years ahead of all those other guys out there leaving your competition in the dust. Cheers. Race 333 .

The Best of TSBMAG. Early-stages flirting: the first few e-mails and/or texts. in today’s increasingly technological world. to simply being social. Creating a Great Profile Whether you have a subscription to an online dating service or not. If you are the one searching. Pre-emptive flirting: creating a great profile. running…). both physical and verbal. odds are that you have a profile on some kind of social networking site. 2. Most searches that you will run are “keyword” searches (though many online dating services let you set all types of parameters via advanced search forms). Because people are becoming increasingly accessible online (you can find out far more about far more people in a day via their profiles than you could in person). 334 . There are three main types of online flirting: 1. We flirt for a variety of purposes–from screening for a long-term partner. it’s important that you have a great profile. The vast majority of our flirting techniques were developed for situations in which people were connecting face-to-face. However.or losers-only pastime to a necessary skill. to run a successful search you are better off putting in a noun: runner. you need to (1) come up in as many searches as possible. that can be used in almost any situation. As far as coming up in random searches. and (2) deliver the goods once someone clicks on your profile. it’s important to understand how search engines work. Later-stages flirting: keeping the momentum. flirting online has gone from a geeks. ran. to scoring a one-night stand. To have a great profile. Verbs don’t usually fare too well in keyword searches because there are so many conjugations (run.COM Day 16 Tips for Flirting Online Written by Honey Originally Published: 07/02/2008 Flirting consists of a variety of tactics. 3.

For heaven’s sake. How about you and I go see it and then tell my friend how wrong he was about Jet Li?” Now the first thing you’ll probably notice is that the second example is much longer. you can easily increase the likelihood of coming up in other people’s searches by using synonyms. Man up and give the lady (or fella) some real communication. For anyone who’s been on these types of sites for any amount of time at all. and once they have an answer in their head. my advice about the first few e-mails (or online chats. For example. Tell stories. for reasons I’ll explain) is pretty similar to my advice about profiles. And don’t be afraid to ask questions—a nice rhetorical question gets the other person thinking about how they’d answer.’s performance saved Iron Man. these half-ass forms of communication are reviled 335 . the most important thing is specificity. sipping on a Jeremiah Red and talking about how Robert Downey Jr. Tell stories. If you’re running a search and come up empty the first time. List specifics. and watch movies. have fun. Ask questions. you might also put jogger or marathon in your profile. he almost spit his beer out! What a waste of a great porter.Social Superstar When you are creating your own profile.” “On any given Tuesday. Once someone gets to your profile. “wink” at someone. List specifics. Well. if you’re into that—I’m not. then how can you come off as a person of value if you don’t have anything to offer beyond clichés? The First Few E-mails Unsurprisingly. you’ll come up. you can find me at BJ’s brewery with friends. the two big keys to a great profile are making sure your profile is upbeat (no one wants to date a bummer) and saying something of substance. if you like to run. This is especially important because no matter which of the three terms someone searches for. one caveat is never. While you don’t want to go on and on. or “poke” them or any of that gay sh#t. if the online world is like a giant bar. When I told my buddy that I thought The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor stood a chance of being decent. they’re halfway to e-mailing you! There’s a huge difference between the following: • • “I like to hang out with friends. However. to catch people you might have missed. you could try some synonyms as well. that’s no accident. ever.

“I’m sorry. a phone call or a meeting. Tell a story from your own experience that relates to what you liked about their profile (”I’ve never been a dog person. The formula for a great early e-mail is pretty simple: • • If they e-mailed or winked at you first. When he e-mailed to ask. I don’t add people that I haven’t met in person.” Type real words. only one of us bites…”). you should definitely respond back with an email. Now. but last summer I found an abandoned Jack Russell in the parking lot of my complex. I said. i. so half your work is already done for you! You can tease them about using a wink at some point later on. in a seemingly contradictory move. Say something specific that you liked about their profile. and also starts to build a non-threatening sexual vibe (”Maybe we should meet up at the dog park Saturday afternoon? I promise. I looked for his owners. “How about beer on Friday?” And that was our first date… The reason that I’m going to come out against online chat is that (and I know this is a personal pet peeve) I hate all that misspelling and “textspeak. if you’re too chicken to make a real first move. • • I’m not a believer in asking for the digits but rather proposing the meetup. if someone winks at you and you at all like their profile.e.” He said. and our first couple of interactions followed the pattern above. As a question that escalates the interaction to the next level.COM and make you seem wussy (which. you kinda are). but never found them. The reason for this is that the other person will then offer their digits without you having to weaken your position at all by asking! I met my BF on MySpace. Now a year later he’s there to greet me when I get home from work!”). thank them for doing so. damnit! And since I type about 70 wpm 336 . and word it as a compliment ("I couldn’t help but be excited when I noticed that you are an animal lover”). I sent him a one-line e-mail. and he e-mailed me back to say that we had a favorite author in common. You know they’re interested.The Best of TSBMAG. After a couple exchanges he tried to add me as a friend and couldn’t because he didn’t know my last name.

Keeping the Momentum Once you’ve met in person. spell everything correctly. Best of luck! 337 . and don’t you dare send that second e-mail until you hear back from her first. since so many nuances. Keep it light! You should be making deep connections in person—trying to do so over e-mail just makes you a bummer. make a mild sexual comment. not to come across as desperate or stalker-ish.” It’s just much easier to put your best foot forward when you use e-mail as your medium. Tease. • • Flirting is an art. not overwhelming her with super-long e-mails (which also kind of make you look like a loser who has nothing better to do in your spare time). If they suggest chatting. a flirty e-mail is a great tool to keep in touch. Again. and knowing when enough’s enough. and make sure you’re not e-mailing a work account. you should be teasing her with the promise of your presence. the goal is to sustain momentum. avoiding clichés at all costs. I like e-mail because you can control the length and content as well as proofread for spelling and other errors before you hit “send. it’s pretty tough for me to come off as anything except overly chatty. Don’t send more than two e-mails per day. • Keep your e-mails brief and stick to one topic. tone. and body language is lost when it’s just a window on someone’s computer screen. or just say how much you’re looking forward to your next meetup. and keep your interactions light and fun. The big tips: Again.Social Superstar and hardly anyone else does. and the keys are paying attention to the other person. sustain momentum. use real words. go for it—just remember the possible cons.

to ask her out on a date. You talk to her expecting that things are going to pick up where you left off and are utterly stunned when she starts making excuses as to why she can’t meet up with you. You think 'hey she is busy' and you try again later that same day. You are left scratching your head. You see a hot chick at a club.Don’t Contact Her for At Least 48 Hours I know it sounds hard doesn’t it? But you have to stick by these rules.The Best of TSBMAG. So you call again and finally you get an answer. You think to yourself “SWEET!! I’m in”. You end up calling her a couple of days later. like the rule book suggests. thinking to yourself “where did it go wrong?” So here is the thing. Rule # 1 . She says that she will get back to you and she never does.COM Day 17 Phone Game Strategy Written by Hot Alpha Female Originally Published: 07/03/2008 So let me paint the picture. Because when you can't wait for the 48 hours you appear needy and in need of a life. Well I’m going to lay out for you what is REALLY happening and what you really SHOULD be doing. shopping centre or the tennis club.. 338 . You still don’t get a response.. Some of you may be baffled by this whole situation. To some of you it doesn’t make sense. Sound good? Let's get started. You build up the guts to talk to her. I have been on dates with guys and literally like 2 minutes after the date they are messaging me and telling me what a great time they had on the date and how they would like to see me again. make her laugh and somehow manage to get her number. She doesn’t pick up. Here is the thing.

but this is not one of those instances. Now the main agenda with text is to warm her up. but don’t get into these messaging conversations. Let her know that you are on her radar and that you will be in contact with her soon. In fact we like them more to begin with. If a guy texts us within 2 days of us handing out our number then that is sufficient enough for us to know that you are interested without appearing really needy and wussy. So do it not only as a favor for me. Rule # 2 . It's like an instant turn off. stalker. Except the item that you are selling is yourself.. and ewwww. Now as a general rule with messaging keep it short and sweet. Banter a lot. you don’t have to think on the spot. Now that doesn’t mean being something that you are not. But it does mean that for the moment you operate within a certain guidelines until you have internalized all this “game stuff” … so bear with me ok? So as part of this. And there is no logical way to explain it. See it's great for us and is great for you too. So in other words you are going to have to look like something that she would want to date/buy.. The only thing that runs through my mind is. Anything more than 4 days and the girl (if she is interested in you) starts to get pissed because you didn’t call her within that “calling period” and she assumes that you are not interested. stick to the rule of messaging her first before you call her. At the absolute 339 . get a life. but for all the other poor girls out there. Every girl is comfortable with texting. It means that you can actually think about what you want to write.Send Her A Text Msg First You know scoring a date is kind of like making a sale.Social Superstar Then I have also had guys who send me a message straight after a date and then send me another one 30 minutes later wondering why I haven’t sent them a reply yet. Just make sure that when you follow this rule that you don’t wait too long after 48 hours. You can mess with a girl and pretend that you are not interested.

But you have to look at it from the point of view that YOU are the one in control because you have the strength to stop the messaging first =) Rule # 3 . The best way to do this is to refer to something that happened when you last saw her.Msg Her and Then Call Her Ok so I have to admit that this is not something that I came up with. This will bring her back to that place and help her feel more comfortable with you. You actually want to keep things fairly casual and most importantly keep it brief. He found that significantly increased his chance of getting to speak to her. But just because it’s a short amount of time.The Best of TSBMAG. Maybe refer to a joke that you had previously found funny with her and give her updated content on it. You want to be able to establish comfort before you can even consider asking her out. you are the one that has to stop sending her msgs. 340 . He would msg this girl and then when she replied back. That’s the thing with phone calls. doesn’t mean that you don’t have your work cut out for you! The first thing that you want to do when you call the girl is to break the ice and get her laughing. because she would have to be close to her phone in order to send the msg right?! Brilliant idea and I suggest that all you guys use it. because they feel in control by being the ones to have the last say.Keep It Light And Keep It Casual Ok so when you call her for the first time after she has given you her phone number then it's not a good time to start going into a deep and meaningful conversation. Some of my friends have trouble with this. then he would call her within a minute or so. This means that when the conversation is nearing an end.COM maximum make sure that you only send 2-3 msgs in one conversation. If a girl doesn’t think that she will be comfortable with you or will be able to trust you then she will not even consider going on that date with you. But one of the things that I heard one of the guys does on David D’s cds. Rule # 4 . Essentially you want to get her back into the same state as she was in when she gave you that phone number. Always be the one to end the messaging conversation.

Leave one voicemail that’s IT! If you have to leave a voicemail then make sure that its only one. like you and trust you . As a general rule with this whole gaming and dating thing … Less is always MORE! Seriously… You don’t have to get an update of what this chick has been doing in the past 2 days. So in regards to what you should say. All you have to get a chick to do. If you are constantly trying to impede on her space then she is totally not going to appreciate it. is know you. Rule # 6 . She doesn’t have to know about all your past relationships before you guys go on a date.Keep It Short and Sweet This kind of follows on from the other points. Two or more becomes stalkerish. Break the ice and get her to laugh before you even consider asking her out. There is nothing worse than a long winded voicemail msg with a guy who doesn’t know what he is talking about.Social Superstar So remember the rule. keep it light and keep it casual. be prepared for a voicemail and know what you are going to say as well...and then you can get her to go anywhere and do just about anything with her. then you can say something a little ball busting and then get her to give you a call back. just leave a short msg and then hang up. Rule # 5 . Give her the gift of missing you ok? So with a voice mail you need to remember to keep it short and sweet. you need to remember to give her the space to think about you. I know it sounds silly but its true and this is what goes through a chick's head. who is wasting your time and YOUR credit! Random Tips 341 . Like 5 minutes. You don’t have to repeat your number and all that crap. But seriously don’t talk too long. When calling a girl. When courting a girl.

because A) she thinks that you are a freak or B) she hasn’t warmed up to you yet.. You have to do what works. When a girl talks with ease. then there is something up and she is not comfortable. If you find her being more quiet that usual. then you need to know that you are going to have to do some major work on getting this girl to go on a date with you.. In regards to what you should talk to her about … your main aim is to bust her balls. Now with that said … Now I want to see better conversion rates ok? *winks* 342 . make her laugh and have a good time. You can tell that a girl has warmed up to you when she is laughing at your jokes and the conversation is flowing. Persistence is not the only tool you need. then your chances of getting to talk to her again are much higher.The Best of TSBMAG. Firstly you should message first. it means that she is comfortable with you. If you message a girl and she doesn’t message you back. Remember to warm a girl up to you. If the girl messages back. Keep it short and sweet and always leave her wanting more.COM Some of you may be wondering how many times you should call before giving up. and this message contained some call to action on her behalf. Here’s a tip. There is no point in doing the wrong things over and over hoping that you will get a positive result in the end.

I’m a bit older. 4. I use a few acronyms. keep your language as tight as possible. Obviously. such as OMG or WTF. because you avoid the profanity but still express surprise or shock. language is part and parcel of what pickup is all about. use punctuation. Since item 4 is fairly self-explanatory. around 30. Texting has similar properties to flirting over email (or sending messages using facebook or myspace). and pretty much everyone has it on their 343 . Flirting. This also sets you apart from the legions of dorks who can’t spell worth a crap. Here’s how it breaks down: Flirting When used in the right ways. Using textspeak on a 28 year woman with an MBA would totally deattract her. Okay. and supplement your lines with smiley's and other emoticons. Why the big deal about grammar and spelling? Because if you’re using good English. Also. and the girls I socialize with are high value woman in their mid or late 20’s that are educated. Maintaining a connection. consider this. you’re coming from a position of high value and it shows you have a command of language. etc). I use texting for the following reasons: 1. use it! Don’t use cutesy textspeak (ur instead of your. Escalation. but the quality that sets it apart is immediacy. To get the high value woman. Good spelling and punctuation. flirting via text is very effective. 3. 2. Before I get started. Everyone has a cell phone.3. I have a few exceptions here. I’ll focus on 1 . I want to say a few words about writing style. Quick scheduling or announcements when I’m on the go. WTF is a good one.Social Superstar Day 18 Text Game for the Pua Written by Lance Originally Published: 07/07/2008 Text game is an integral part of my arsenal.

This dialogue establishes that you’re a normal guy and not a player (ha-ha) or merely a flirt. you’re a great kisser WOW!” “You’re the cutest Leo EVER rawr. Everyone loves to receive text messages! I haven’t delved into this. but getting a text is like a little treat that breaks up the monotony of your day. One way I flirt over text is to send messages that will compel her to write back. I’ll use this to spur a longer text conversation and then mix in some “normal” text conversation.” All of these messages are intended to come out of the blue and compel her to write back and ask what it is you’re talking about. conversation was great. and fun. ie basic flirting.” “Had a blast. it’s possible that person won’t read it until the evening or the next day if you’re sending it to a personal account (and you should…don’t send flirty emails to a work or business account). such as asking how her day went. I’ll use texts as a direct compliment. It’ll pump her up and get her thinking about how cool you are.COM person at all times. If you send a text. I often do this after a first date. If you’re a chick and you’re getting dozens more texts than the next girl. It’s like playing a little game. you would love it!” “Guess what I’m doing right now…it’s f’ing awesome!” “Just read your horoscope. you should banter back and forth for a bit. either in the same night or the next morning. If anyone wants to dive into point. “You looked totally sexy in that dress.The Best of TSBMAG. 344 . the other person is going to read it within a few seconds. Conversely. The key is being playful. Not only that. but I think some people derive a certain degree of social clout from the number of texts they get. then you’re more popular…at least that seems to be the psychology. This gets her thinking about you and this method can be used to maintain a connection or escalate. interesting. if you send an email. Here are a couple of examples: “Hey. it just depends on the direction you want to go. it’s crazy. just ate lunch at this great Thai place.” This creates a strong statement of interest and let’s her know that you’re absolutely interested in going further. Once she responds. There’s nothing wrong with a compliment as long as you’ve established a strong masculine frame during the date. I’d love to hear some perspectives.

” What’s great about the horoscope thing is you can look up the quickie horoscopes on astrology. As with everything else you should calibrate. For instance. if you did a quick 5′ pickup and number closed a girl with a minimum of sexual framing. a two line story. some MySpace stuff. the craziest thing just happened to me!” “Your horoscope is insane today. You can use the same lines from above. Here’s an example: “The planets are aligned–today is a day for secrets.yahoo. Don’t be afraid to cut loose. The key here is to flirt and be a bit mysterious so that she’s compelled to see you when you ask for a first meetup.” “We should have talked to you longer DAMN you’re cute. and hot monkey sex. Your goal should be very simple. it’s the hot guy you met an hour ago.” 345 . or a horoscope (astrology is chick crack). just make her smile! Credit Sean Deacon on that one. if you’re really slick. drama.” Escalation Texts are a great way to introduce or maintain a sexual frame. OR. This can be great fun and it’s an easy way to escalate. Monday at the office sucks (if you’ve got an office job) and getting flirty texts can be a real pick-me-up. I rarely do fluff talk in these instances because you’ll risk losing the attraction by seeming mundane. you’ve got that sexy nerdy look RAWR. Let’s face it. I like texting during the day when I know she’s at work. but here are another couple of examples that initiate a value giving conversation: “Holy sh*t. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t like getting her horoscope. but I think it’s really true.com and hit her with one. Keep in mind that pickups are tenuous affairs and flakes can happen at any time…texting helps to cement a future meetup. such as a laugh. I’ll text her just a little bit during the week to remind her who I am. Usually what I do when maintaining a connection is to offer a bit of value. I’ll mix this in with a couple of emails. and a phone call or two to maintain the connection until I see her again. you can hit her like this: “Hey. what are you doing??” “I loved your glasses.Social Superstar Maintain a Connection If I’ve number closed a chick and I know I can’t see her again until the next weekend. you can make one up on the spot and sex it up a little.

I’ll still flirt because it’s a hell of a lot of fun and it gets her hot for the Lance cock. OMG I could barely keep my hands off you!!” “I can tell you’re going to be trouble. sexy texts. She’ll follow your lead and likely respond back with flirty. dating or FBs). Try these: “Okay. Let’s say you’ve had sex once and you’re setting a date for next Friday night.” “My mom warned me about girls like you.” If you’re deep into a sexual frame with a chick. Even if I’m dating someone and I know I can nail her whenever I want.)” Work your basic push-pull and teasing in there. you’re getting spanked. 346 . or if you’ve already had sex with her and plan on doing it again (i.” “Three guesses what I’m doing…if you get it wrong.” “Happy hour on Friday…Don’t worry. you can and should use text as a way to maintain attraction. I’ll meet you for drinks. and if you’re calibrated properly and pumping out good lines. All of these lines are examples and you should easily be able to come up with your own. This shows you’re playful and flirty and will get her into a sexual state of mind. You can do pretty much the same things if you’ve already had a date with a minimum of Kino or maybe just a kiss close. Chicks eat this up. this shit kills. Hit her with texts that have a sexual tone and just plow forward.The Best of TSBMAG. I’m a big fan of these: “Had a blast. but you’re going to have to work extra hard for me.e. I won’t let you take advantage of me .COM This way you’re either establishing a sexual tone or maintaining one and getting her excited about thinking about you.

it’s very hard not to get at least a make out if she’s had three drinks in her. But I guarantee you she is more nervous than you are. ready to give a “primetime” night to someone you just met. especially if you haven’t kissed her yet. I also remind myself of a handful of innocent touching moves that prime her for the kiss. There is no way you can memorize enough routines for a two hour or more date. 4. Pick the right venue. Stick to Monday through Thursday for the first date. The more you have your internal game straightened out and 347 . You can get a lot done taking girls to coffee and ice cream dates. Here are a few things to make them more successful. you must go for drinks. usually the cube and some type of fake palm read. but if your goal is to get into her pants as fast as possible. especially with the pressure of getting laid hanging over your head. Even if the date is short of a blockbuster. Weekend dates send the wrong message that you value her too much.Social Superstar Day 19 How to Go on First Dates Written by Roosh V Originally Published: 07/08/2008 Besides sex. and even if you can it would be a stupid waste of energy. real and this is where I hope your vibe is fun and interesting. It’s natural to be nervous. The only thing I do before dates is have two fun routines ready. simply because she’s a girl and we all know the ones who can’t even go to the bathroom without a friend. 1. Since first dates are mostly a talking affair. first dates are the most fun part of the game. you want that part of your brain ready. 2. Plus chances are she will be busier on weekends anyway. well. Start the date at a quiet bar well after dinner so you don’t have to worry about getting food. You have two people who barely know each other alone and isolated with sexual tension and possibility in the air. 3. The worst thing you can do is lounge around at home all day in front of your computer and then go out without talking beforehand. Quick tip: On your way to dates call up a couple friends and shoot the shit for a while. Pick the right day. If not then dates will be a challenge. Don’t try to do a first date on a weekend. She’s more nervous than you are. You’re going to have to be. Preparation.

I also stumbled on half a dozen touching 348 . most of the work in turning out a good first date is done before you even show up. Plus even if the date goes well. This is especially useful on dates when you're focused less on routines than when you first approach. mill around for a while until you are late.The Best of TSBMAG. Even if you don’t think you will get the lay on the same night. A touch here or there that gets extended as the night goes on. A little bit of preparation goes a long way in dates and it makes sense to do because you worked hard to meet her and get her out and don’t want to blow it with stupid mistakes. Focus on escalation. but then the drinks get in your system and it becomes natural. twirling and spinning for your pleasure. 7. The first half hour will have almost no touching probably. Even if you arrive early. While you don’t want to sound like a total idiot on the date. you can’t make the assumption there will be a second. You want to stir up some anxiety and fear that she’s being stood up so that her insecurities are driven inward instead of on you. 6. Whether this is reality or not doesn’t matter… just believe it.COM believe a girl should prove her value to you. The farther you get on the first date. the reason you kiss her will be more because of the touching than the conversation. 5. The kiss will be a foregone conclusion. Go for the lay. a mindset that keeps your game on without trying to game. but even before that I remember my strategy to getting kisses used to be hoping and wishing she’d make the move and do it on her own. I have a friend who shows up fifteen minutes late and I’m not sure that is extreme or not but I’m always at least five minutes later. How about if her long lost ex boyfriend calls the next day? You’ll kick yourself if you didn’t push as far as you could get. Show up late. the less you will be nervous. going on dates every week and noting what worked and what didn’t. it’s still a smart idea to go for it as you drop her home because it makes your job much easier for the second date. It took me about six years of constant practice but I figured out the “vibe”. I cannot stress how important this is. Think of her on a stage. I sucked it up when I had enough and just started approaching like a machine. the less work you have to do on a second. As you probably noticed. That’s your number one goal. then touching her hands and putting your arm behind her in the booth of the lounge you picked. I was too scared I would get rejected and look like an idiot. where she judges you and picks for flaws. I made A LOT of stupid mistakes when first starting out in the game.

Of course it’s backed by my Bust out the Condoms Guarantee. 349 . and also the idea of the multi-venue date system to increase rapport and trust.Social Superstar moves that help escalate on dates and in the bedroom. I share all this and a lot more in my book Bang.

The conversation was flowing naturally. I waited a week then emailed her again “Guess we didn’t connect as much 350 . And although it had only been one day since I saw her. She would write me these long rambling emails at four in the morning (that were just the most amusing things to read)… and I soon found myself very attracted to her. and the evening ended on a high note. My better judgment told me to wait a day or two before contacting her again… but I couldn’t help it. When we got to the bar. The next day I couldn’t stop thinking about her. When she arrived at my house. You are a really funny guy. It was not so much that I wasn’t meeting any. she was even hotter than her online photos portrayed her to be. About that time I went on Match.com.” She never mentioned the tennis invite. and teasing one another… it was genuinely the best date I had in months. Within minutes of talking to her I was already feeling like this was going to be different. I was really starting to believe that either there were no quality girls left in the world. I was sensing a connection I didn’t feel with the other girls. It was depressing me. The night I got her email I called her. She never called me back. and I would soon have to break their hearts. I sent her an email that night. we were laughing a lot. When she did respond. or that I just couldn’t attract the ones I wanted. things went even better.The Best of TSBMAG. What day this week do you want to play tennis” (we had talked about playing tennis on the date) She didn’t respond to the email for a couple days. Something along the lines of “had a really great time last night. A little while after going on the site I started an online flirtation with this cute Filipino girl.COM Day 20 How to Get a Day Two Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/08/2008 A few years ago I was going through a slump with women. Mid way through the date I was already imagining our future together. She didn’t answer so I left a message. all she wrote was “I had a good time too. These girls were falling for me quickly. We made arrangements to meet. she came back to my house for a bit. doing shots together. it felt like an eternity. Although I didn’t get a kiss that night. it was that the ones I was meeting just weren’t up to my standards.

I really believed that I had experienced a connection with the Filipino girl. I began really analyzing what went wrong… and it became painfully obvious why she had no desire to see me again. With the Filipino girl. and she asked “what?” and I said “You’re just really cute.Social Superstar as I thought” or something AFC like that. I remember at one point I was smiling. Below I’m going to go over the mistakes I made on that meeting. Normally I would never show my hand on a date… I would always keep the girl guessing what was going through my mind. Girls can sense when you’re investing more than they are.” AGHHH I kept bringing up plans for a second date. This put me in the position to be the prize. I was complimenting her way too much. The one girl I actually felt a connection with didn’t even have interest in a second date. I would sit back and let them prove their worth to me. You’re really nice… I’m just not sure what I’m looking for right now in terms of relationships. She wrote back the next day saying “Sorry I’ve just been busy. and it will immediately lower your value and put her in the position of being the prize. Because I felt so comfortable with her I felt at ease to tell her about my recent trouble finding a girl I really liked. My hope is that by reading through these mistakes I made you might be able to notice a thing or two that you’re doing that might be preventing you from getting a second date. I dropped all “player” mode and started to open up with her way to soon. Resorting to Nice Guy Lines. I truly believed she was feeling the same way. The previous girls that I was dating I was always the one doing the judging. I kept telling her how fun she was. I let my guard down. Mistakes that will Prevent Day Two Too quickly deciding that you like her. to go see a movie she mentioned.” BAM it was over. We hadn’t even finished our first date and I was already asking her to play tennis together. I was way too attached to the outcome of the date. Once I decided that I liked her I started working too hard to impress her. 351 . The mistake I made on this date was that I gave too much away. Because I felt there was this “connection” there. I decided too soon that I liked her.

The fact that we had such a good time should have been used as a reason to wait a few days to call. 352 . a large part of attraction occurs when the girl is away from you and thinking about you. By making immediate plans you don’t give the girl the joy of wondering when she’s going to hear from you again. and when I did I would quickly pull away as to not scare her. Normally. I even broke one of my cardinal date rules.” Trying to Plan the Next Meeting Before the Date Ended. even on dates with girls I didn’t like. She was the one suggesting what to drink. About midnight she is the one to say “it's getting late we should get going.’ When you don’t call. I threw it all away by contacting her the next night. she quickly took the role of leader. and have always naturally done since her. If she really had a good time she would be going crazy waiting for my call. I was in “nice guy mode”. The minute I contacted her. In Bang.” That was something that I always naturally did before her. she was the one who suggested that we move to a table in the back. The whole time she’s waiting for my call my value is increasing in her mind by leaps and bounds. But that particular night I felt compelled to try to make plans to immediately see her again. Let her Call the Shots.COM Not Escalating Kino. It was like I was so scared of making a wrong move that I gave all power to her. her brain went “OK I have this guy… now let me decide if I want him. her brain is going “Does he want me?” That is what you want her brain thinking. and was scared to ruin the evening by “moving too fast. When the bar got crowded.” I would very rarely make any physical contact. always be the one who ends it. I used the fact that we had such a good time as a reason to call the next day. Once we got to the bar. Roosh says “always say ’see you soon’ when you end a date.The Best of TSBMAG. The less sure she is in her status with you. I would be advancing towards sex after an hour into the date. the more time she is going to spend thinking about you. Remember. Here I was 2 hours into a great date and I was scared to leave my hand on her waist for more than a second. Contacting her too Soon After Day One. Although we were having a good time together. she was the one who suggested we go on the dance floor. when the DJ played a song she liked.

353 . And when I sensed she was blowing me off… I did the worst possible thing my sending her a message stating my feelings and trying to guilt her into seeing me again. As many mistakes as I made on the date itself. So how do you get a day two? If you want to know how to get a day two… the answer is to not make these mistakes on day one. If you follow his strategy and avoid the mistakes listed in this lesson than you should be having no trouble getting second dates. I got needy and contacted her right away. Whenever she delayed contacted me.Social Superstar Acting Needy When She Wasn’t Responding Quick Enough. Roosh gave you a perfect strategy for day one. Unfortunately I wasn’t. I still believe I could have savaged it if I was able to stay cool during our contacts post date.

if our wholesome scenes were to be made into a movie. It doesn’t always lead to sex.Not porn. In fact. Think Top Gun (Tom Cruise) 354 . but one that has a gripping plot and an explosive love scene. At one or the other’s place. it’s the ‘chemistry’ that happens between individuals who like each other. there was an undercurrent of attraction that can’t be ignored. We both know we are not ready for that. we’ve known each other too long to let something like a relationship ruin our friendship. When Sparks Fly Extreme attraction develops under the safe haven of friendship. the viewer would be most likely banging his head on his popcorn saying “get on with it already!” The main trouble is that whenever we are in alone dates. Friends have several things in common. the devil called ‘friendship conscience’ comes in to ruin everything. In simple terms. watch a movie with a story line that involves sexual tension .The Best of TSBMAG. nothing happens. The following words echo through our minds: “Hey. they communicate a lot and spend time together. mind you. and could go on and on for a lifetime without the individuals concerned acting on it. but don’t have sex. At what point does the attraction build so that individuals enjoying a platonic friendship just let go and freely act on the attraction? This happens when sexual tension peaks. We’d see each other constantly and while all the things we did were wholesome. Escalating the Sexual Tension Here are some subtle things a guy can do to fan the flames of burning attraction and cross the border between friends and friends-withbenefits: 1.” And so. and the onlooker throws his soda at the screen. I dated a guy who I shared a wonderful friendship with before going for the plunge. at least not yet. though usually it does.COM Day 21 Building Sexual Tension Written by Evil Woobie Originally Published: 07/10/2008 Sexual tension happens when two individuals feel attracted to each other.

2. while sharing yours. The trick is not to sound too eager. Because you’re friends. Online chat . Sex is not the End. It took all of my self control to prevent myself from just kissing you in a dark corner when we met for lunch” will convey the message that you appreciate her efforts to look her best. very good friends.There are things that you can tell a person you feel attraction for online that you cannot say to her face. this will translate as sincere admiration more than harassment. particularly if she’s feeling a bit naughty. being very. ditch the romance movies and rent a thriller. “I just took a shower”). regardless if it developed into a more serious one or not 355 . Some studies have shown that good horror films can be more sexually arousing than romance or even porn. The basis of which is that fear results in the same biological effects as sexual arousal i. bit by bit. do NOT mention another girl’s name.e.Social Superstar and Disclosure (Demi Moore). make her feel that her voice and the theme of your conversation are turning you progressively on. say “when a girl kisses my ear…” or something similar. Saying something like “you really looked sexy today during class. And for goodness’ sake. Sexy Phone Conversation . She already knows that you like her.While you bore her with the details of your soccer practice. 3. casually mention that you’re wearing only boxers because the humidity is killing you (or my favorite. rapid heartbeat. This is because you feel protected from an extreme reaction by your monitor and the x-mark on top of your browser. stimulated senses. Encourage her to talk about her fantasies. Give her the power of seduction. this could lead to more prolific things. very scared is always an excuse to cuddle up. If you must describe making love. Since you know that she’s also into you. you are now free to continue a stronger friendship that will last for years and years to come. Besides. but the Start of Better Things You are still very. Or better yet. Once you overcome the sexual tension that’s been plaguing your relationship. now it’s time to let her know that you think she’s hot.

TV. or your counter is filled with grease… 356 . or decor for them to comment on. Dust. First. Although you want create an “at home feel” for yourself. you should feel comfortable there.000 a year. Get rid of stains. Focus your dusting on everything that can be seen. Third. floors. Many times you will have someone you barely know back at your place. sofa. your place should provide an environment that makes the women feel insanely comfortable.COM Day 22 Preparing Your Bachelor Pad Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/11/2008 This lesson is going to be a guideline for some general rules when it comes to maintaining your place. Obviously if you are in high school or college your place is going to look a little different than someone out of college making $100. The more comfortable they feel at your place the more likely they will be to spend time there. Your best self that is. Stains just reek of low class.The Best of TSBMAG. your place should provide some interesting conversation pieces for those visiting. 2. One of the most important ways to make your place a comfortable place for both you and the women in your life to spend time at is to keep it clean. tables. What your goal should be is for your place to be a reflection of yourself. If your floor has splashes of spaghetti sauce. the fundamentals will always stay the same. A Guideline for keeping your place clean 1. furnishing. Second. The most important areas are surfaces that are visible such as corners. you don’t want to overwhelm visitors with your personal taste. The easiest way to relieve that tension is to have a bunch of interesting pictures. While your choice of decor may change. Your place should serve a couple purposes.

Candles smell good and create a nice atmosphere. It is important to get other people’s perspective on the smell of your place.Social Superstar get it up. If there is one area that girls will judge you the most on it's the way you keep your bathroom. your desk is in order. 5. Windows are an easy thing to clean and will make the room appear much nicer when they don’t have dust and smudges reflecting off of them. Make sure all stains and crud. If your couches have stains on them cover them with some kind of soft blanket. 4. Bad smelling homes are immediately associated with dirty people. doesn’t necessarily look clean to them. and most importantly… CLEAR YOUR BROWSING HISTORY ON YOUR COMPUTER. Remember. Get rid of all hair in tub and sink. Make sure the toilet bowl smells good and looks clean. The last thing you want is a girl not coming over because she’s too grossed out to use the bathroom. The sense of smell is closely associated with arousal. You want to use this for your benefit and not against you. Wipe down windows. mirrors. You never know what’s on there. The other rooms I would recommend using candles. Make sure your computer is dusted off. I can’t tell you how many guys I know have messed things up with a girl by giving her the opportunity browse through his computer while he was in the shower. Keep the place stocked with toilet paper. If you’ve been living with the smell for awhile chances are you won’t even notice it. The same can be said for mirrors and glass tables. Your bathroom must be impeccable. This is often a spot you will find yourself at with a girl listening to music or watching a video clip. and glass table. You should have air fresheners for the kitchen and bathroom. Keep the towels hanging nicely. or anything that would gross a girl out is gone. 357 . 3. It's always safe to constantly be clearing it. A Guideline for keeping your place smelling good There is nothing that will turn a woman off quicker than walking into a place that smells like crap. Clean your computer area. what looks clean to us.

• • A Guideline for making your place more comfortable to women Lighting Lighting makes a huge difference in the appearance of your place. Put your clothes away. 358 . Decor This is the area where your personal taste sometimes has to be compromised a bit. either throw them away or put them in the basement or garage. and pillows. and sports memorabilia. Don’t leave random stuff lying around.The Best of TSBMAG. yet so many of us continue to leave shirts. This is so simple. sneakers lying all over our bedroom. While you want to reflect your personality you don’t want to look like The 40 Year old Virgin with rooms filled with toys. Especially in the summer time. they should not be the most prominent items on display. movie posters. Lighting is one the most important elements of creating a good ambiance. blankets. If there are items laying around that you no longer make use of. pants. Dump ashtrays regularly Take out the garbage daily Put gym gear in the laundry room Food remains should be wiped up immediately • • • • A Guideline for keeping the place neat and tidy • Get rid of all clutter. • Dirty sheets. It communicates that you are a disorganized person. these need to be changed often.COM Below are some certain items you want to be aware of that may be contributing to a bad smell in your place. While all of these items have a place in your home. I would usually recommend purchasing a dimmer that allows you to pull the lights up or down based on the mood.

Social Superstar The best idea is to find a style that you like. The best way to do this is to not cheap out on a good mattress. Bedding It goes without saying that you want your bed to be inviting as possible. It is a safe bet to always have a couple bottles of wine lying around. Entertainment and Props 359 . never knows when he’ll be taking a new girl home. For me. and when I found something I liked. My old strategy caused me to purchase a lot of cheap items all at once. you want to make sure that your glasses and silverware are always clean. and window treatments online. Once I knew what style I was going for I began searching for items on Ebay and Amazon that would fit into the decor. When a girl comes back to your place. and then slowly decorate the place to match that style. In the past I would try to go out and decorate my new place in a weekend. A fun thing to do is have some frozen cocktails on hand. Once you have a good mattress purchase a nice comforter set to go along with it. I also tend to keep a six pack in the fridge. On that note. I painted the place with Latin colors and then slowly found items that complimented the room. pictures. Since a true player. I find the best way to shop for home decor is online. he must always be prepared for an overnight guest. This new strategy of decorating my place over the course of a couple months allowed me to search these sites. Beverages You always want to have either bottled or filtered water available. I bought 90% of the framed art work. Another good habit to get into is making your bed every morning. Making her a margarita is always a nice way to break the tension and enjoy a good drink. wall decorations. and stock a small bar with liquor. I found several magazine articles that celebrated the style of Buenos Aires and then I created a look around those. it's always nice to be able to offer for her to join you in a glass a wine. I decided I wanted my place to have the feel of Buenos Aires. I would buy items as I could afford them. You always want to keep about four pillows on your bed. purchase it as the money became available.

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

I mentioned earlier that your place should provide some interesting conversation pieces. This means that you should frame some “story worthy” photos and have them lying around. These photos will serve to demonstrate your personality as well as offer you a chance to tell some good stories. I mentioned yesterday how a good coffee table book can initiate conversation and break the tension of bringing a girl back your place. It's not a bad idea to keep some props lying around. Props include things like personality tests, interesting quizzes, this lie detector test, or other fun games. It's also not a bad idea to keep a stack of reliable DVDs lying around. These should be a good mix of romantic movies, comedies, and interesting documentaries. You never know what kind of mood the two of you will be in when you arrive at your place, and it's good to have a variety to choose from. Another good idea is to be constantly DVRing interesting things on TV. This allows you to always have something of value to throw on. An absolute great addition to your living room is Nintendo WII. This is a video game system that women finally seem to enjoy as much, if not more, than men. It's great because it can introduce some competitive flirting and offers a dynamic opportunity for Kino. This should all be a great guideline for you to transform your place into an excellent bachelor bad. Remember that the main purpose of your place is to have you and her feel comfortable and to provide some entertainment for the two of you.

360

Social Superstar

Day 23 Quick Lesson in Kino
Written by The Dicknotist Originally Published: 07/14/2008

If you’re reading this, you’re probably looking for ways to obtain more sex in your life. Perhaps you want something more than just sex …or perhaps not. Either way, what separates true sex from porn is that the former involves touch whereas the latter is viewed through the pixels of a computer screen. Sex cannot happen without contact and neither can seduction. Too many guys make the mistake of focusing all their efforts on conversation and while your words may peak her interest, your touch is what will drive her wild with intense desire. From the moment a woman lays eyes on you, she’s unconsciously wondering how you’ll be in bed. Will you take charge as she surrenders her body to you or will you look to her on what to do? Will you be affectionate and attentive to her needs or will you just slam it in a few times and leave? Do you actually know what you’re doing in the bedroom or will she have to teach you like all the other guys? All of that is conveyed through your eye contact and touch. We’ve all read the now famous DiCarlo Escalation Ladder (DEL), which will give you the nuts and bolts of what to do, but not necessarily the mindset behind it. Guys who aren’t used to touching women will just lay their hands on her as if they’re in a video game. They earn five points for every time they brush her arm or tap her back. When I touch a woman, I don’t play for points; I play for pleasure. When I think of touch, I imagine that my hands are like paintbrushes plastering my emotions onto her body. Call me the Jackson Pollack of seduction: I paint her arms her arms and torso now so that I can sprinkle some more on her face later…with my other special brush. So, when first talking to a girl, I will often just lightly touch her outer arms and torso with my fingers as I’m talking to her. I see it as expressive: you touch her as you talk to emphasize important points. That touch is more subtle and friendly, aimed at just making her comfortable and more trusting. During high points in the interaction, however, your touch should become more appreciative. Touch serves two purposes: to emphasize what you’re saying to her and to appreciate her. An example of appreciation could be that in talking to
361

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

her, she reveals that she works as a nurse. That immediately peaks your interest as your mom was a nurse and you realize the resiliency and compassion necessary for the job. Rather than just telling her how awesome that is, you should also touch her arm and hold it there a few seconds longer than usual and perhaps even stroke it. Expressive touch is like a period: light and quick. Appreciative touch is like an exclamation point, lasting a good 2-3 seconds. Yet the point isn’t for you to have this in your head while talking to a woman but to give you a context for which touch can amplify and supercharge your game. When you touch her, touch her as if you’re already making love to her. Cup your hand as you touch her back and cup the back of her shoulder blades. Don’t forget her sensitive spots, including her inner arms, behind her knees, the skin fold on the other side of her elbow. Later on in the interaction, touching her neck, ears, thighs, breasts will amplify her desire. Don’t be afraid to graze her breasts! Graze them now so you can glaze them later. You can get away with murder in the field as long as you are relaxed and slow down. Calibration is simply the act of doing things much more slowly, which includes walking, talking, and touching. You may be nervous, but if you can slow down your actions, you will be seen as confident and in control. Of course, touch is best demonstrated by viewing and trying it yourself. An excellent resource on touch is The Joy of Erotic Massage, which takes you through more than you’ll ever need to give women incredible pleasure with your touch from the first meet to sex. You can purchase a copy on Amazon, though you’ll probably be able to get it free through other means… I hope that when you read this essay and even see the video above, you will get some fresh ideas on how to use touch to build trust and sexual tension. Yet, to get the most out of any endeavor, you must go out and hit the field. Experiment and develop your own style. Innovation never comes from passively reading and watching. Like any man of character, you must act.

362

Social Superstar

Day 24 Body Language 202
Written by Dr. Fuji Originally Published: 07/15/2008

Body language is one of the most underrated, overlooked, and powerful elements in your social arsenal. The classic study on the elements of communication by Professor Albert Mehrabian (1971, “Silent Messages” Wadsworth, Belmont, California) found that nonverbal communication accounts for as much as 93% of all communication. Body language itself makes up more than half of that. So it should come as no surprise that what you say isn’t near as important as how and when you say it. In cold approach pick up, the individual who uses body language effectively often has significantly better results than his less-enlightened counterparts. In this article we’ll be delving into the use of body language to convey high value, how to show interest or disinterest non-verbally, and fixing common sticking points and pitfalls. Let’s begin. An interesting thing about body language is that it tends to override your verbal. In other words, people will believe your nonverbal communication more than even what you actually say. So if your verbally sub communicate high value but your non-verbal says the opposite, people will tend to trust the body language over the words. While seemingly counter-intuitive, the fact is most people tend to place more trust in forms of communication that are harder to consciously alter. We can lie with our words quite easily. Lying with our body language is much more difficult. Because your body language is so incredibly consistent, women especially have found that it’s generally a very effective way to evaluate others. And therein lays both the problem and the effectiveness of body language. It’s very difficult to change, but when you are successful, it conveys much more influence than other forms of communication. One of the most effective uses for body language is communicating value. We do this by consciously altering our behaviors and mannerisms from unattractive to attractive. Imagine two men, both of equal confidence, looks, attractiveness, and other factors. But one man makes eye contact when he speaks and the other looks away and fails to make eye contact. Who is more attractive? The objective is to sub363

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

communicate through our body language that we are “high-value” (read: attractive) men. By “high-value,” we mean that we have high quantities of the social and evolutionary value to which people respond. A “highvalue” man is one who encompasses all of the qualities and mannerisms that women are hard-wired to find attractive. Think: confidence, leadership ability, power, attractiveness to other women, strength, internally validated, etc. There are three main body positions in most social situations which you can use to convey value: How you stand, how you walk/move, and how you sit. Although full body language overhauls are beyond the scope of this article, the fundamentals are quite simple. When you’re standing, you want to stand with your feet shoulder-width apart or slightly wider, shoulders pulled back, standing up straight, and chest somewhat out. Your weight should generally be towards the rear of your soles (closer to the heel) so that you always appear to be leaning back. It should not be an uncomfortable stance, but one which clearly does not lend itself to laziness. Picture the way a U.S. Marine would stand when at ease. Your stance should project confidence. Your hands should drape at your sides the way they naturally fall. Do not put your hands in your pockets or cross them over your chest. When you walk or move, the object is to convey dominance and purpose. Your hands should swing naturally at your sides while you walk but without looking either stiff or “floppy.” Practice this in the mirror if you suspect they are moving unnaturally. Walk at about 50% of your normal speed when in the venue. When you are moving towards something (a set, an exit, the bathrooms, etc), take the shortest route possible—usually a straight line. Instead of circling a set several times like a vulture, walk straight up with confidence. Similarly, when moving through the crowd, you want to project dominance. Oftentimes women notice you and the way you move or interact with people and they make judgments about you before you’ve even noticed them. Dominance is tough to put in text but it’s something we drill in our live boot camps. The objective is to be verbally polite while “guiding” people out of your way. Don’t be afraid to touch both men and women while you’re walking through a crowd. A hand gently on the triceps or back letting people know you’re coming through is a dominant, yet polite way of moving through the crowd and communicating that you expect people to move out of your way.

364

Social Superstar

When you sit, the objective is to take up space while appearing relaxed and comfortable. Don’t overdo ‘taking up space’ lest you come off as tryhard. What you want to communicate is that you do not make any apologies for your existence and that you are used to always being comfortable. It’s the same concept as locking in. Useful tactics to convey this include draping your arms over the backs of chairs or over the seatbacks of booths or couches. Your upper body should ideally be leaning back without hunching over. Feet and legs can be spread moderately or crossed ankle-to-knee. Sliding forward slightly in your seat will allow you to lean back even in a vertically-backed chair. The main communication here is that you are comfortable and confident. Do not cross your arms over your chest for this reason. The other thing that body language is extremely useful for is showing interest or disinterest nonverbally. Because women are so much better attuned to body language relative to men, they feel your nonverbal indicators of interest (IOIs) or disinterest (IODs) much more powerfully than we do as men. For example, facing a set or group is one way to nonverbally show interest. Conversely, facing away is a subtle show of disinterest. Other body language-based indicators of interest include: Leaning in, Kino escalation (escalating physical touch), strong eye contact, and cocking your head to the side. Indicators of disinterest include: leaning back, putting barriers between you and the set or group (especially in front of your midsection, e.g. arms crossed, drink in front of the chest, etc), not smiling, “body rocking”, and looking away. Note that some of these things can also be considered demonstrations of lower value so be cognizant of what you are communicating to people. The power in nonverbal IOIs and IODs are that they can be used both subtly and oftentimes with more impact than their verbal counterparts. For example, a nonverbal false time constraint (an IOD) is much more powerful than a verbal-only version. As we’ve discussed earlier, people tend to place more credibility on body language than verbal communication because of the difficulty involved in controlling it. The punishment-reward sub-dynamic is the underlying principle behind Mehow’s Chase Cycling™ model and is most effective when body language is used to both reward good behavior and punish bad behavior. A great example of this is during the first minute of the interaction. Sets generally don’t face you right off the opener. They’re usually facing each
365

The Best of TSBMAG.COM

other. When you begin to hook the set, you can tell by their body language – they start to turn toward you. You can then nonverbally reward by more directly facing them or giving emotional value. If they give you IODs, you can punish by facing away and throwing a false time constraint (a verbal IOD). This psychologically conditions women to invest and to work for you. And as we all know, we value that which we work for. Finally, there are certain body language mistakes that the majority of guys find themselves making during their training. By being aware of these common sticking points, you’ll be better equipped to stop them before they become bad habits. Let’s examine a few of the most common: Leaning In: This is one of the most common sticking points most guys make. Leaning in is an instinctive body language move that you have to consciously change. The lower the set is (seated, lying down, shorter than you, etc.), the more you’ll feel the urge to lean in. Don’t do it. Have a wing observe you in set and let you know when you’re leaning in. Rewarding bad behavior: Directly and continually facing a set which is closed off and giving you IODs is rapport and acceptance-seeking. You are non-verbally rewarding the set for defiance. Instead, mirror a set’s body language IODs with your own. Take advantage of both false time constraints and body rocking to avoid continually facing a set that isn’t hooking. Lacking dominance: Everything you do in field should be done with confidence and dominance. From the initial approach, to Kino escalation, to simply walking through the crowd, your body language is communicating things about you. Dominant body language communicates confidence, pre-selection, and social proof. Fidgeting: Nervous ticks such as swaying from side to side, playing with your hands or fingers, moving around too much, or playing with your drink all tell the set and everyone around you that you are not only nervous around them, but that they are higher value and thus, you are emotionally reacting to them. The emotion of nervousness often manifests itself through these nervous behaviors. Eliminate them. You’ll notice a marked improvement in your interactions. Drink shield: This is another common sticking point the majority of men have. The “drink shield” is when people hold their drink in front of their chest in a social environment. The sub communication behind this body language tick is that you’re nervous and uneasy. So your instinctive reaction is to cover your midsection (traditionally the most vulnerable
366

Information on our live programs can be found at www. Of course. Your physiology often has a significant effect on your psychology.mehowgetthegirl. Instead. And it’s the basis behind parents telling their children not to cross their arms or frown. Hands in pockets: This behavior also communicates that you’re nervous and that you feel awkward. hold your drink down by your hip and don’t cross your arms or take a protective stance. You don’t know what to do with your hands so you shove them in your pockets. Instead. let them hang naturally by your sides. and relaxation with your body language.mehow. security. Force yourself to relax and let your arms just fall. Just as your mind affects the body. your body too affects the mind. but to also convey interest or disinterest without opening our mouths. At the beginning you’ll have to force this. Fix these behaviors and you’ll see a significant improvement in your game and in your own state. And of course. Hopefully this article has been able to shed some light on the importance of body language as a whole. you’ll start to automatically relax more in social situations. In this case it’s the drink. This is why faking a smile for an extended period of time often makes us feel better on the inside as well.Social Superstar spot on most mammals) with some sort of protection. and body language is no exception. One interesting side effect of good body language is that it not only affects your interactions but your psychology as well. we’ve examined some of the most common sticking points and come up with solutions and fixes to remedy them. You are trying to convey abundance.com. DJ Fuji Chief Instructor 367 .tv. See you all in the field. but these are the absolute most common ones. The human brain is constantly reacting to stimuli from the sensory system. there’s dozens more sticking points many guys will experience. We’ve learned that not only does it allow us to show value. but after some practice. We cover body language much more in depth in our live programs and boot camps and also in Mehow’s esteemed Get the Girl!™ Manual available at www.

and create an acceptable excuse for ourselves. if you’re like most us. you can try adopting some of their character traits to increase your attractiveness. The Bad Boy trait you should emulate 1. then do it anyway. our fear of going 368 . you’ve probably often asked yourself “why all girls like the assholes?” or “How come the jerks get all the girls?” This is not so say that being a bad boy makes you an asshole or a jerk. You want to shed your “nice guy” image? It is impossible to try to imitate specific bad boy behavior. put yourself in their mindset. Feel the fear. It will come across forced and insincere. our fear of being laughed at. “women only like the assholes. We are held back by our fear of losing our job. If you’ve found yourself too often getting stuck in the friend zone. The reason most of us viewed these guys as assholes or jerks is simply because we were jealous and envious that these guys were always dating the girls that we wanted. it’s time to MAN up! There is plenty that can be learned from these bad boys. Instead. Most of our fears are completely unwarranted. Most people suffer some form of anxiety disorder. live a fearless existence. Even if some of their reckless behavior will never suit your personality. while we were getting stuck in the friend zone. Live life through their eyes. Most fear stems from our need for approval.The Best of TSBMAG. that girls are attracted to guys who possess a bit of that bad boy persona. If you want to stand out in a crowd. it is simply because that is the vibe that you’ve been sending off. So instead of trying to learn from these “jerks” whom we weren’t alpha enough to hang with.” Well boys. You’re fearless. Most people are held back by various forms of fear. we found it easier to blame society for our lack of success with women. Most people are insecure. In fact.COM Day 25 Being the Bad Boy Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/16/2008 You probably noticed as far back as grade school.

” do exactly what you want to do. Just for the next two days. our fear of ruining our reputation. He takes her into his fearless existence. The bad boy makes her forget all about her fears and insecurities. approach who you feel like approaching. How refreshing is it when we meet someone who isn’t controlled by these fears? Women are attracted to bad boys. have given up our dreams… because we are afraid of making the wrong decision. This is why the average guy becomes her friend. tell someone who has pissed you off to “fuck off. a woman sees a reflection of most of her fears and insecurities. and we’re not even afraid of the consequences of the wrong decision… We are afraid of what people will say about us… what people will think about us. And she gets addicted to it. our fear of rejection. our fear of making a mistake. Most of us are working a job we hate. What would your personality be like if you weren’t governed by all of these fears? If you take a look at the short list of our major fears… you’ll find that not one of them is life threatening. After the two days you can go back to worrying about what people think. or how you appear. say what you feel like saying. In the average guy. How ridiculous does that sound when you really think about it? 90% of the decisions that you make are influenced by your need for approval. because bad boys provide an adrenaline rush that the average guy does not. In fact. most of our major fears are solely based on what thoughts someone else will have about us. Do you want to call out of work and go the beach? Do it! Do you want to tell the counter girl at the bank that she’s sexy as hell? Do it! Do you want to finally change the style of your haircut? Jump out a plane? Get a tattoo? Have sex with a stranger? Do whatever the fuck you want! Whenever the fuck you want! Do this for just 2 days and experience the thrill of being fearless. Because they can sit and talk and wallow in their fears and insecurities together. lonely or in a shitty relationship. 369 . trivial reason is holding you back. or whatever other insignificant.Social Superstar broke. My challenge to you Live the next two days of your life completely fearless.

We even went into specific examples. http://www.com/2008/07/13/how-to-be-the-bad-boy-womenwant/ 370 .COM More information on being the bad boy In our most recent podcast we went over an entire list of ways you can take on more of the bad boy attitude. showing how a bad boy would react as opposed to the typical “nice guy.The Best of TSBMAG.tsbmag.” If you feel that you need to incorporate more bad boy traits into your persona I highly recommend listening to our How to Be the Bad Boy Women Want podcast.

Bobby’s Step by Step Plan The first thing that you need to do is effectively disappear from your friend’s life. Vagueness is the key to this part. Although you will be vague. I will also assume that you are actually friends with her and not just an acquaintance. You should spend at least one month apart. text messages. This is to be done without making her feel like you’re mad at her. This means cut off phone calls. and visits. or MySpace/Facebook. text or email immediately. What you are doing here is confusing her. Wait a day or two before getting back to her. but brief and vague. Her simply missing you will not be enough to stir up immense attraction for you.Social Superstar Day 26 How to Turn a Female Friend into Your Girlfriend (Part 1) Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/18/2008 For the sake of this lesson I am going to make a couple assumptions. or lying… The whole attitude should be that really great things are going on in your life… but you’re holding back from telling her because you don’t want to make her feel bad. The whole goal is to make her wonder what is going on in your life that you no longer have time for her. This is a fine line that you have to be careful as you walk. I am going to assume that the female friend you’re interested in has firmly placed you in the friend zone. While you’re gone you also need to arouse some jealously on her part. trying to make her jealous. A great way to do this is to call her and ask her to hang out. and the confusion will cause her to spend more time thinking about you. Now you need to amplify the jealousy and confusion. the longer this process should go on. you should always be implying that really great things are going on in your life. First. When she contacts you… don’t answer the phone call. She can never feel like you’re bragging. The better friends you are with this girl. texts. Assuming enough time has 371 . emails. This means you spend a reasonable amount of time with her. and communicate often through phone. When you do talk to her be pleasant.

Basically you want to do everything I outlined in day 3 about updating your look. You need to be filling your days with the most exciting. it gives you a chance to see if you really want this girl to be your girlfriend. add some new cool pictures (preferably with some hot girls. she will be relieved that you finally called… and her jealousy and confusion will dwindle… Just when she thinks things are going back to the status quo. You should be doing everything you can to take your mind off of her. During your time away from her you also need to be working on your social skills. If there are physical areas of you that need improvement. now is the time to get serious about change. If you’re over weight. In the meantime. It is important that you change up your profile a bit. If you’re scrawny… join a gym and follow a good plan for bulking up.. do everything you possibly can to get to your ideal weight. another great way to create jealousy is to take advantage of social networking sites. You should be hitting on other girls with reckless abandon. Your 372 . Above everything else. Many times guys fall for their female friend because she is the only girl in their life. Race and Kelly give a great way to go about getting these comments. The confidence you will gain through your improvements will radiate throughout you. challenging. It is crucial that after her long time away from you. that when she finally sees you again there is a very noticeable improvement in your appearance. You should be out talking. cancel the plans with her. Improving your social skills serves many purposes. and building attraction with as many girls as you can. be vague. you can bet she will be checking out your profile to see what’s going on in your life.The Best of TSBMAG. The other benefit of improving your social skills will be that it will naturally make you more attractive to your friend. When you cancel don’t schedule a new date. and personally rewarding events imaginable.. flirting. You should not spend all of your time away from her thinking about her and planning your next move. Once again.COM gone. The entire time that you’re away from her you need to be working on yourself. Assuming that the both of you are active on at least one social networking site like MySpace or Facebook.) To go even further I would recommend getting a bunch of attractive girls to leave comments on your page. Once these guys go out and meet some new girls they realize that there is an abundance of women and no longer cling to this one girl the way they used to.

or wardrobe. how you will break rapport. You will also be fine tuning your flirting skills which you will need later on when you start hanging out with your friend again. I don’t mean visualize the act of sex… I want you to visualize what it will be like after your first kiss. I found the biggest factor that used to hold me back from making a move on my friend was that I could not imagine the outcome. and then supplemented it with the visualizations… and I truly believe that without the visualizations I would not have been able to succeed with the plan. While I’ve stressed that during your time away from your friend you should put her out of your mind as much as possible. amplify attraction. or holding her hand. As much as I wanted it.Social Superstar new found confidence will probably impress her more than your new body. The final benefit of improving your social skills immensely while you’re away from your female friend is because you’ll find it so much easier to create the confusion and jealousy that you’re aiming for. there is one exception to that. This will come into play in part two when I discuss finally meeting up with her again. Hold the vision in your mind and feel all of the feelings associated with it. If you’re avoiding her phone calls and breaking plans with her. This is the end of today’s lesson. and go for the kiss. haircut. as I truly believed it is what finally allowed me to turn a friend of five years into a lover a couple years back. I swear by this. I followed the entire plan outlined above. 373 . my brain resisted out of fear. Experience the feeling of sitting next to her having moved past the friend zone. The final thing you need to be doing relates strongly to lesson 1 which dealt with designing your life. Part two will deal with how you will act when you finally meet up with your friend again. This final exercise is so important because you have to train your brain to experience the new reality. If you want to learn more about visualizations re-read lesson one. you need to spend fifteen minutes visualizing yourself with your friend as lovers. or just referring to her as my girlfriend was so foreign to me that it scared me senseless. Every morning upon waking and every evening before you go to bed. The idea of lying in bed with her. it is much more powerful if it's because you really do have better plans and more options.

I don’t care if you have to open every set in the bar… find one that sticks. then you need to be an opening machine. It is extremely easy to slip back into the status quo if you drop your guard. You are to acknowledge her. When you finally decide to hang out with your friend again you need to invite her to an event that is on your terms. I would maintain nothing more than a good buzz throughout the night. When your female friend arrives it is critical that you’re already engaged in some conversation with attractive women. club. If you haven’t brought girls with you. but do not immediately run to her side. This means inviting her to a party you’re hosting or a night out with you and your friends.COM Day 27 How to Get Your Female Friend into Bed Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/21/2008 If you are serious and strict about following the plan I laid out in part one of turning a friend into a lover then you will have built up an ample amount of tension and anticipation. Once you get to the location you need to establish yourself as the social charming guy of the evening. you need to begin making new friends immediately. It is important that you spend this time building sexual tension through teasing her and using Kino. Hopefully you’ll have invited some other girls you know as well. If not. When your friend finally arrives you should be talking to some girls. party) you need to arrive there early. Let her feel a little awkward and uncomfortable for awhile. You can easily ruin everything you’ve been working for by losing control of yourself and saying or doing the wrong thing. For the short intervals that you spend with your friend the conversation should only consist of light and flirtatious talk.The Best of TSBMAG. 374 . Let's talk about how to capitalize on this built up anticipation. During this evening you should be bouncing back and forth between your friend and the other girls in the location. The goal of this first meeting is to display the “new” you in action. It is critical that you immediately capitalize on this built up tension. How many times has she done that to you? I just want to add something in: Do not get too drunk. Once you’ve established a meeting point (bar.

and friends don’t. put your arm around her. If she starts talking about something that is not cooperating with the mood… break rapport again. as the tension is mounting. Everything should be happening without mention of the paradigm shift. Once you’re alone with her you have to be sure to keep the sexual tension alive. but I’ll say it anyway… never verbally acknowledge any of this. You’ll need to use a combination of these touches to shift out of the friend zone. Or better yet. Some girls may not be game for making out in the club… in this case you need to find away to get her alone. If you’re going to go for it all you need to be rapidly escalating Kino. These things are things that lovers do. I’ve found it is almost always most effective to swing for the fences the first night. 375 . She will be feeling attraction towards you. tell her you going to get a drink and go talk to another girl. or if you’re going to end the night leaving her wanting more. or grab her hand to look at her ring. You also need to be sure to break rapport. You have to decide if you’re going to shoot for the fences with your friend. Personally. Later in the night. She will most likely try to suck you into talking about the same old status quo topics the two of you always discussed. use an excuse). or touch her ear to comment on her earring. This should go without saying. your goal isn’t to offend your friend or be mean… your goal is to build attraction. You need to take control of the frame and subtly let her know that you’re calling the shots now. Sexual escalation is more effective because it is less ambiguous: hold her hand (use an excuse of looking at her rings or bracelets or nails if you need to). Remember. If you’ve followed everything correctly you should have built up some strong attraction. This is something that you’re going to have to feel out. touch her hair (likewise.. Now it's just a matter of letting her know it's alright to embrace this attraction.Social Superstar The time that you spend with her you need to be quickly escalating the Kino. Her emotions are going to be peaked by mid way through the night. As the night gets later you have to make a decision. This means tease her with a gentle push. If she starts talking about some guy she’s dating-change the subject at the first chance you get. the best way to break rapport is with physical contact..

If you’ve decided to hold off to another night to go for the kiss… I suggest making a deal with yourself.. If you find she is being completely unreceptive to your advances… then let the evening die down with you in control. You should look at her like you want her.. If you sense you need to build more attraction. 376 . If she’s comfortable with that or looks at you in a seductive fashion it's on. Give it one more chance. Go in for the kiss. The next time you hang out with her it can be alone. But if possible. flirt. Simply look at the texts. tease. smile.COM It won’t be enough to just tease her and escalate Kino. initiate Kino. arrange for some friends to send periodic text messages to peak her interest..The Best of TSBMAG. You need to act in a seductive manner. You have to encourage her to have sexual thoughts about you. You need to prompt these thoughts by: • • • • You need to hold strong eye contact. Look at her lips and leave pauses where you just look at each other. You need to break rapport. then put your phone back in your pocket. You should slow down your speech and deepen your voice. If you find at the end of this second night that she still isn’t receptive to being kissed… move on. then close out the evening talking to other girls and part ways with your friend.. This evening you must treat the same way as the previous evening. and build attraction.

good luck with that. Then she quit her job and took over the finances. Here’s a true story. Guys. Chase Originally Published: 07/22/2008 I’m guessing since I’m getting married in September (let’s see how that goes) is why I was asked to write about managing a relationship for the 31 days series. but the stuff below is golden. everything was normal. It’s a mind-blowing experience to watch how some guys get treated in public…and they put up with it. The marriage lasted six months until he finally flipped. I am not a guru. most of these are Sebastian Drake’s concepts. If you are interested in a relationship. If you think I’m joking head to the mall on a Saturday afternoon. or just a fuck buddy hopefully you can pick something up from this. The Vase Concept This is the best analogy I’ve heard…relationships are like a vase…clay and water getting molded together on a wheel. maybe two months to make things how you want them to be. Honeymoon was great. If you decide one day you’re going to break the mold with a girl you’ve been seeing the vase cracks…yeah. You only have a set amount of time. then sit down and watch couples interact. Here we go… Let’s be blunt here…when women get complacent in a relationship they tend to treat their guy like shit. it just takes a hell of a lot of time to do it (and this goes double for friends or ex-girlfriends who already know you). MLTR. while sad this can be prevented. I’m not reinventing the wheel here. there it is and good luck changing it. Apologies in advance for the long post. these are not my ideas. these are just guidelines I’ve been taught and implemented that have worked wonders. To give credit so I don’t step on any toes or get a lawsuit thrown at me. We’re all creatures of habit. be it monogamous. Should put a little perspective on the divorce rate in this country. 377 . It’s not that it can’t be fixed. Once the vase gets thrown into the oven and hardened. One of my good friends got married a while back.Social Superstar Day 28 Managing a Relationship Written by M. He was GIVEN a $20 allowance per week with the money he earned. buy a drink.

The moment you get fed up the precedent has been broken and the vase cracks. but you can nudge them in certain directions. Gentleman. You simply have to. if I’m into a woman and looking for a MLTR. Getting someone to admit to something you want wins the battle…if they renege on it later you can bust them on it. DO NOT do it from day one. Would you drop an f-bomb in front of your grandmother? I know I wouldn’t have. I’m surprised this isn’t addressed more in the community. people act like they are expected to.” You can use a variation of this for any trait you’re looking for. If she disagrees on a trait you’re looking for it’s up to you if you want to pursue it. People tend to live up to what they’ve admitted to. This is just psych 101. If she asks you to do something.The Best of TSBMAG. Ashlyn just moved into my place and did some redecorating. Draw the Battle-Lines Probably the best advice I’ve ever gotten. fancy dinners. This is also very good for compliance. This is very powerful in the seduction phase. Let me ask a question. singing karaoke. good luck with that. Everyone acts differently around different people. Never. For example.COM Precedence is absolutely key. Again. Do you act the same way around your best friend that you would around your boss? Now what you should ask yourself is why? The same thing goes for relationships. We all get caught up in the moment when we’re with a new girl we like. I’ll drop something like “look at all the women in this place that need a man to hold their hand…please tell me you’re not like that. Set Expectations Guys. draw the battlelines. Something in our heads wants to make her happy and seek approval. If this will piss you off a couple of months from now don’t start the cycle. Frankly. and this can be anything you seriously don’t want to do (going to plays. This was so far out of my reality I thought it was a joke…it 378 . You can’t exactly change someone’s personality. doing the laundry…whatever). Don’t get the wrong impression that you should never compromise. Can’t say I’m exactly thrilled with the changes (I’m now a plant owner) but it’s something I can live with. If she’s into you she’ll agree with pretty much anything you say unless it’s way out of her personality. even if I have to water the damn things. The real question is what you’re willing to compromise on.

If you set your expectations farther than what you really need you’ll always be in the clear when problems come up that have to be worked out. A loyal girl. When women get pissed they will push you to see what they can get away with. sex 4 times a week…etc.Social Superstar wasn’t. Whatever you really want. Chase II 379 . In the seduction context make a list of what will make you happy in a relationship. something along the lines of “can we just have sex tonight instead of you doing me anal on the balcony”…fucking hilarious. We all do it. M. If anything I hope you guys got something out of this. bj every day. Now push it forward. I’m trying to remember how this went.

Sexual options with women stems from building up a network of women who love having sex with you. she has to feel an intense sexual connection with you. Explore every area of her body until she is practically begging for it. You need to be able to recognize what a woman is enjoying. if you don’t perform in the bedroom you will never be able to create a life of unlimited options. If she’s an aggressive and dominant kisser… sit back and follow her lead.. you need to be good in bed. Women who still want to sleep with you even after they realize that you’re not boyfriend material. Most girls really enjoy receiving oral sex… learn to read the signs she is giving you and get her pussy gushing from the oral. Use your hands and mouth to create intense sexual tension. In this lesson I want to give you guys some tips for improving this area of your life.The Best of TSBMAG. If she is a slow passionate kisser. But even after some powerful foreplay you need to follow up an even more powerful lay. If you know you’ve got a habit of finishing quickly than make sure you extend the foreplay. I recently wrote a post about becoming a better lover where I discussed the art of reading the signs that a woman is giving you and continuing to push her in that direction. If you want a mind blowing sexual session it has to last more than ten minutes. slow your style down so your tongues mesh together. Above all this is the number one trait of a good lover. It doesn’t matter how great of a pick-up artist you are. Increase your stamina and last longer by focusing on 380 . Even if she knows you’re a player. You need to tailor everything to the girl you’re having sex with at this particular moment. This starts with the kiss.. She’ll walk away thinking you were the best kisser in the world. You need to make her feel like you know her inside and out. You’ll need to increase your stamina. That is true sexual power.COM Day 29 Tips for Getting Better in Bed Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/21/2008 If you want to have the ability to call a girl up every night of the week for a late night booty call. simply because you mirrored her style.

Aim for the G-spot. Smell Good. 5.Social Superstar pleasing her rather than how good you feel. Just a small spray is best… or go for that just out of the shower smell. Don’t obsess about the g-spot. If you’re clueless about the G-spot read an article about how to find the g-spot 381 . 4. Below I’ve listed some general tips to improve the overall experience. and by practicing. Wearing nice smelling cologne can intensify the sexual desire she feels for you. use positions that you’re less likely to finish with. The more you take care of your body the more likely she’ll be inclined to want to give you oral sex. Having a little knowledge of some sexually erotic zones of a woman’s body will go a long way. using breathing patterns. Having stubble on your face can irritate her and make things like kissing and oral sex a lot less pleasurable for her. 2. Everything listed above are the fundamentals needed to become a better lover. But having an idea of where it is and how to hit it will increase your likely hood of making her cum. Groom Yourself. Shave. 3. Give a good massage. More tips to be a better lover 1. Watch a video on giving an erotic hand massage or a video on giving a foot massage. You also want to build up your energy level as well as increasing your testosterone level which will only fuel your fire in the bedroom.

when I finally had the balls to end it. It is never easy to end things with a girl… and every situation will be different. the harder it will be. And what I hated more. Where do we stand? 2. The longer you wait to end it. But there is one constant rule that does not change. and pray that things will roll along at the status quo. was when months later. This is because while you may view her as “practice” or “fun for the moment” or “somewhere to dump your load” she may have completely other thoughts running through her mind in regards to what the two of you have together. Now that you’re out meeting and dating a variety of girls you’ll quickly find that you won’t be on the same page as most of them. I used to hate when a girl asked me one of these questions.COM Day 30 Ending a Fling or Relationship Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/23/2008 There comes a time in every player’s life where he is forced to end relations with a female he no longer enjoys spending time with. 382 .” Well. What is this? 3.The Best of TSBMAG. Eventually you are bound to hear one of these 3 evil questions: 1. Where is this going? If you’ve been dating a girl that you have no intention of making your girlfriend… than you need to change the way you view these 3 questions. now I’ve learned to love when a girl asks me one those questions… because I’ve learned to just be honest with her. The irony of this is that you will probably find it is more difficult to end it with a girl than it was to get her. the girl would throw it in my face how I should have just been honest with her back when she asked “where this was going. I used to fear it. I hated the way I had to lie or change topics or be extremely vague with my answer.

If you let her know this after a few weeks than it is more likely she will keep you on the side as a booty call. Many guys will continue dating a girl they have no feelings for simply because they are scared to be single or unable to give up the steady sex. But it is a lot meaner to let a girl waste two years hoping that you’ll finally see the light and be what she wanted. The longer you date a girl you have no real feelings for the more resentment will grow inside of you.. it will be a lot harder to make the transition. You will 383 . You need to crush that hope. In yesterday’s lesson I talked about how if you’re really good in the bedroom you can usually keep sleeping with girls long after they’ve realized that you’re not going to be their boyfriend. This is a lot harder than it seems. I wrote a post awhile back called Why You Shouldn’t String Girls Along where I talked about the negative effect stringing a girl along has on your personality. I know that sounds mean. The secret to ending a relationship is honesty. If she doesn’t feel it's for real than she will be filled with hope that you will get back together. If a girl asks you “where this is headed” and you don’t see it turning into a long term relationship. The more you try to sugar coat a break up the less likely she will feel the break up is for real. Tell her why. That resentment is unhealthy for your soul. But this needs to be established as soon as possible. The minute you free yourself up from one girl. But you’ll find that if you continually are honest with yourself and others your life will be a lot less complicated. As hard as it may seem to tell a girl you don’t love her or don’t want a relationship with her. This is why you should use the opportunity most girls will present you with and come clean and be honest with them. This is not the mentality that a true player should have. Ultimately it is all about living with integrity. She will respect you for your honesty. In that case she doesn’t give you an out.. If you lead a girl on for six months and then tell her that you don’t have feelings for her other than sexual. There is an abundance of women available.Social Superstar When a girl doesn’t ask “what is this” and lets thing go along like everything is fine… that is when it is exceptionally hard to end it. you’ll be amazed at how quickly more will flow into your life. She can’t have those two years back. this will actually allow her to move on and get over you. and you have to be the one to address the situation. tell her. The right decision may not always be the easiest.

and your sense of self worth will increase.The Best of TSBMAG.COM also find that you feel better about yourself. 384 .

Social Superstar Day 31 Run a SWOT Analysis on Your Self Written by Bobby Rio Originally Published: 07/25/2008 Today is the last day in the 31 Days to Better Game series and as a result I want to make your last task a little reflective and forward looking. Define Your Mission and Goals Before you carry out your SWOT it’s important that you know what your goals are (otherwise the exercise is a little pointless as you’ve got nothing to review yourself based upon). A SWOT analysis is a strategic tool that has been used for many years in business (and many other fields) to look at the Strengths. 1. Much has been written about SWOT analysis and how to carry it out (I’ll let you do some searches on Google for it if you’re not familiar with it) however let me write a brief description of how to apply it to yourself. List Your Strengths What attributes do you have that will help you to achieve your goals? What do you have going for you? What are your strong points with approaching. List Your Opportunities Where is opportunity presenting itself? Is there a local club/group that you can join? Is there a girl just dying for you to make your move? Did an old fling show up back in your life? Did a new girl move in the 385 . relationships? What resources and assets do you have at your disposal? What do you do better than anyone else? 3. As a result you’ll want to have done Day 1’s task . Opportunities and Threats that that business might have or be facing. Weaknesses. or alpha male? What is ‘broken’ on your game? What could or should you improve about yourself? What should you probably avoid in your gaming? What is distracting you from your goals? 4.Designing Your Life. List Your Weaknesses What attributes do you have that are holding you back from achieving your goals? What skills do you not have as a successful player. pua. dating. 2. Your task today is to run a SWOT Analysis on yourself.

this website and on my overarching business also. Opportunities and Threats is only half the job. Have you ever done one on yourself? 386 .COM apartment across the hall? A part time job you should get to meet new people? 5.Think of Strengths and Weaknesses as internal factors while Opportunities and Threats are external factors. 6. Working out how to turn Weaknesses into Strengths and Threats into Opportunities is the key part of a SWOT analyses. Weaknesses. 7. List Your Threats What external things could or area is hindering you achieving your goals? Are you working too much and therefore coming home too tired to game? Do you not have enough money to go out to bars or clubs very often? Note .The Best of TSBMAG. Analyze Your Reflections and Generate Strategies Take some time out to work out what you can do with your findings. Plan to Do Something and Do It Translate your findings into an Action Plan and begin to implement it. How can you utilize your Strengths? How can you bring your Weaknesses to an end? How can you make the most of your Opportunities? How can you fend off the Threats? An old Marketing lecturer used to say .‘doing the analysis of Strengths. Doing a SWOT analysis is something that I do periodically on myself.

online dating. http://www.tsbmag.com Booty Call flash game. You can download all of our podcasts by visiting the link below. We've also had the opportunity to interview many of the top dating coaches. http://www. confidence building.000 in downloads. live pickups.tsbmag.com. The topics varied from dating.com/category/video-posts/ 387 . they were happy to find that it relocated to TSB Magazine. and funny clips. http://www.com/category/weekly-podcasts/ Booty Call Game For those who loved the old Romp.tsbmag. For those of you who have never had the experience of playing the game. and sex.com/booty-call/ Our Video Library We created a video library and filled it with the best of dating advice. relationships.Social Superstar The Index Other things that have helped make TSB Magazine grow: Our Famous podcasts We have produced many podcasts that have totaled over 100. you absolutely must give it a shot.

and Pete. and to provide invaluable suggestions. and your effort and contribution do not go unnoticed. You have been there to keep us on track. You are an honorary inductee into the TSB Magazine Hall of Fame. Very Special Thanks We would like to issue a special thanks and acknowledgement to long time reader Morgan Chase. Many of the long time readers of TSB remember him for his frequent commenting and patrol of the chat box. 388 .COM Acknowledgements We would like to take the time to thank all of our loyal readers who have stuck by us over the years. And forever a friend to Bobby. We want to thank you for all the support you've shown us. Mike.The Best of TSBMAG. We want you to know that we truly appreciate your support and encouragement and look forward to continuing to provide you with high quality content. as you have gone above and beyond.

Sign up to vote on this title
UsefulNot useful