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The Different

The Different

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Published by Anna Maļiņina

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Published by: Anna Maļiņina on Mar 23, 2011
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THE DIFFERENT By Anna Maļiņina

1.The different For beginning i`ll say something about myself. I am 15 years old girl. My name is Yuna.And I live with my family. I have two brothers - Chad(17 years old) and Josh(12 years old). My mom - Olivia and dad David is married 18 years and lving in happy marriage. Me and my family are living in small town. Population is about 9 thousands people. The most in this town I like that there is a lot of places where I can go to be alone, and no one knows where are you. I know - you maybe are thinking "That`s weird because all teens likes wild party`s thay have a lot of friends" and something in that way... I am not like everyone. I am different - I am doing things that teens ussually didn`t do at their free time. I am reading books. I can spend days in nature if i have some books to read. My favourite place is forest. There I feel goog and safe. Also I love music. Like "music is my life" - I am listening all kinds of music. I like sounds of nature. Sometimes I take paper and pencils to draw something. I like to be alone..Not like most part of teens... I am learning in city gimnasium. Also I am learning in music school. I am playing flute and piano. I am playing flute since age of 8. And since age 10 I`m playing flute in orchestra. I like it. But the most of all I like to play guitar. My parents bought guitar for me because I asked for it. Now I`m learning to play guitar by myself. I am not going to guitarplaying lessons - I don`t like it. I wanted to learn play guitar because I like a lot of songs that I want to play. I can remember that first song that I wanted to learn was "If everyone cared" by Nickelback..

2.Memories hurts But there is something that I had the same with other teenagers - a boyfriend. His name is Chris. We was together about month. But he left me about 2 weeks ago. -Hi, Yuna! -Hi, Chris! - I liveley sayed. -Want to go for a walk with me? - He asked me. -Sure! When we was in park he said:

-I am leaving you! - He said it in sielent voice that annoyed me. -What!? - I shouted and I saw that most part of people that was in park at that moment was looking on me. -Yes. I am leaving you. Now I have another girlfriend.. -But... How about me? - My voice was sielent and I started to cry. I turned my head off from him, because I didn`t want him to see how I cry. -Please, Yuna! - He took my head and turned it to his face. Our faces was so clese, that I felt smell of his favourite mint toothpaste. -You really need to make everything more difficult for me! Leave me now! - I started quite loud, but last sentence I whisphered. -Sorry.. -About what!? - I exploded. -Sorry.. -I need to forgive that YOU are leaving me? No way! Now go if you want! -Please.. Don`t be mad at me! It is just normal that I found someone better than you! - He almost shouted on me. -How..Could..You..Say, that someone is better than me!? How could you say that? Now I shouted and I knew that everyone is looking on us, but I didn`t care about it. -Yuna! Please be sielent! Calm down! -You are asking me to calm down!? After that what you said to me? -Yuna, please... -Go away! I don`t want to see you anymore! -I`m sure that you`ll find someone.. -GO AWAY! - I shouted. -Sorry again.. Goodbye! And then he leaved. It was painful. I still want to be with him I don`t care that I shouted on him or that he leaved me... I still love him. Chris still is everything to me, but I am nothing for him. But the most annoying thing is that we are classmates. I see him every day. As he said - he has new girlfriend. Every day I`m watching how happy is he. It hurts. Sometimes I have thoughts of suicide because every day I need to watch on his laugh and joy. He don`t know how I feel and he don`t want to know it. I started to hide from him and he started to look happier.

Now I am alone. I became more introvert than I ever was. I lost meaning of my life. I feel like 3 years ago when died my best friend.. This pain.. I can`t say in words how painful it is.. OK! Let`s be honest.. I can say thanks to Chris because he makes me stronger.

3.An accident Summer holidays started a week after Chris leaved me. I was so happy when started summer! I had chance to be alone and I didn`t need to see Chris every day.. My parents went for a trp for a 3 weeks to the Egypt, so I could do anything. But I am not crazy. I don`t like mess or loud parties at my house. So my home was clean everytime. All the day when I wasn`t in forest I was listening music at home. It was rainy summer evening.. Almost midnight... I don`t care about time or weather so i`m going out from my house. I am going somewhere but i don`t know where I don`t want to think about it. In my MP3 was playing song "Given up" by Linkin Park. I was thinking about Chris who left me 2 weeks ago. I was in love.. And I still am.. I just can`t forget him. I was trying to hide from him, trying to focus my mind on other things, but nothing helped me to forget him. But suddenly I hear strange noise... I saw a car lights into the night. This bright lights sooted into my eyes and I properly closed them. I was so scared and I couldn`t move my legs from a place where I was standing. And then I suddenly felt big weight on me. I was afraid to open my eyes. Everything hurted. And then i felt nothing except pain.. And then I felt darkness around me... Darkness was coming as a savior. That was last that i can remember... This is only that I can remember.. But something was not like I thought...

4.A hospital When I woke up I was in white room There was a window, but it was closed with curtains... -Where am I? - I asked. Noone gived me answer. After about hour camed doctor he opened the curtains. Doctor looked about 40 years old. He had black hair and his eyes was ocean blue. He`s about 185m. He was sourprised that i`m awake. -How are you? My name is Benjamin. I am the doctor.

I didn`t say anything.. I realized that I am in hospital. I can`t remember how I could get there. He asked: -Can you say anything? -Yes.- That was my answer. I felt so stupid about this answer. Then doctor asked: -What`s your name? And what is the last that you can remember? I answered: -My name is Yuna. Last that i can remember is that then was rainy evening. Dark. I went for a walk and I listened my MP3. (I looked around for it) I think I lost it.. Next that I can remember is car lights.. I couldn`t make me to move. I was afraid...Panic... He asked again: -Did you see any peoples? -No. -Hmm.. That`s strange. One boy saved your life. -Is everything ok with him?? - I nervously asked. -Yes. He`s ok. But you have some injuries. Nothing sereous. -When i could go home? - I asked to doctor. He answered: -I think after one week, maybe faster. We need to research you to say right date wgen you could go home. But all the time i was thinking about one thing: what was you doing on the road? -I went for a walk and i didn`t think where i`m going. I wanted to run away from everything. Then i looked on the window.. I was sourprised - I saw a sunny day. Usually rains more than one day... I asked to doctor: -What`s the day is today? -Tuesday. You was unconscious for 2 days. We all were worried about you. Especially your savior - he spend all these days there. He is waiting for the moment when he could come in and talk to you. Did you want to see him? -Of course! Can I see him now? -Yes.

Dr. Benjamin went out and i heard that he is calling someone who`s name is Adam.

5.The boy The boy who camed into my room bringed some fruits and flowers. With irony I thought: "Like in movies: FRUITS AND FLOWERS!" He looked about my age (~15). He had amazing eyecolor.. Like deep green+ocean blue. He had dark hair but hair wasn`t black. He was a little bit taller than me. -Hi! Thanks for saving me! What`s your name? -I said. -My name is Adam but friends is calling me just Con. There is nothing about you need to say "thanks". I just done that what i need to do. I`m sure that you`ll do the same. He was a bit morose. I think that he wasn`t sleep well last nights.. My only wish at this moment was "I want him to go sleep!". -But what`s your name? - Adam asked. -My name is Yuna. We`re talking about weather and other dumb things.. Then I asked: -Do you like reading books? -Yes! I love it! - What`s your favourite book? -"The night angel trilogy" and "Percy jackson and the olympians". And what`s yours? -"Faking it" by Jeniffer Crusie. But my favourite writer is Paulo Coelho. -Oh.. Almost forgot.. Here you go. This is your MP3. I like the music that you are listening! -You listened music from my MP3? Where did you get it? - I was really sourprised. -Yes i listened music. Sorry.. And it was with you in that night.. I took it because i was afraid to loose it... -Oh my god... - What? - He was worried. -Actually I don`t know anyone who is listening that kind of music what I am listening..

-Oh.. And that`s all? - He asked. -Yes.. Can you bring some books for me? I`m bored here. -If you want.. -But I have question for you - from where are you? I`ve never seen you here. -That`s not important in this moment. (He smiles.) But now i am going for books. Like you asked. (He smiles again. I think: "I`m in love in this smile!") Now he`s going away, but before he`s gone he says.. -I`ll be back soon! - That reminds me part from one movie with A. Schwarzenegger when he said "I`LL BE BACK!"... For answer I just smiled, but my face was hurting.

6.A dispute I was waiting for him about 2 hours. At this time i was listening music on my MP3. I was listening Chris Daughtry. He is one of my favourites musicians. Like a lot of others. I can`t say that i don`t like some kind of music because I am listening almost everything. I can all day listen in music of nature or all the day listen rap or rock. I am not like lots of other who is listening only one kind of music. I am different and I like it.. He bringed book for me. "Wuthering heights" by Emily Bronte. I have read this book but i didn`t say it. I like that book. -Hello Adam! - I was happy when i saw him again. -Hello Yuna! Here you go. Book. How are you? -Thanks! I`m fine! -So.. When you could go out from hospital? -Doctor said - after one week. Maybe faster.. -Yes. I know. Just checked it out. I see that noone has comed... Did you have family? Any friends? -Yes. I have family but they is on the trip. And about friends i can`t say anything good because i don`t have it. Yes: I have some people with who sometimes I`m going out. I am talking about uninteresting things with them. These "friends" doesn`t mean anything to me. -Oh. I know how it is.. -Maybe.. But anyway. I have my books and i feel good with them.

-Anyone need friends.. -Know. But i`m not anyone. I am ME. I know what`s is best for me. -Yes, Yuna. You are YOU. But you need friends too. -And there is difference - I am not like the most part of people. I like to be alo... -...You need friends.. -..alone. Why you don`t let me to say all? - I am angry. -Because you are saying WRONG things. ALL people need friends. - Adam answered. -I`m not listening to you anymore. (I took my MP3 and turned it on Max volume) I saw that he`s going away... I asked: -Where are you going? -Away from you. You don`t want to talk with me anymore.. -I want but you started to teach me how I need to live. I hate when someone is learning me how to live! I know what I need and what I want. -Hmm.. Ok. But anyway.. You need friend.. Can I be your friend?? -Ok..Maybe.. -Maybe? -Ok. You can be my friend.. But now you need to sleep. You`re look like zombie on your T-shirt! How many nights you haven`t sleep? -Ok. I will go to sleep. Actually I haven`t sleep since that night when I saved your life. Don`t forget that I have a lot of questions for you... -And I have questions to you. Sleep well! BYE! -....OK. Bye for now..

7.Good news He left my room. Suddenly I felt so sad. I started to read "Wuthering heights" that bringed Con. I turned normal volume on my MP3. Song that was playing on it that moment was "Over and Over" by Three Days Grace (One of my favourites song ever!)... I read book till I falled asleep. When i woked up it was dark outside. In my MP3 was playing song "Feels like tonight"

by Chris Daughtry. And i thought: "Song in right place and in the right moment..". It caused smile on my face.. Again pain, but it always causes good feelings when you hear perfect song for perfect moment.. One day my classmates visited me, asked how I feel and bringed flowers. Me and Adam became good friends. Dr.Benjamin was very nice. He letted me to go for a walk with Henry. All that i wanted is to go home. I was happy with Henry. Every day we went for a walk. And Dr. Benjamin said: -How are you today, Yuna? -I`m fine, thanks! -Did you knew that you could go home after 3 days? -Really? -Yes! -Thanks! - I was verry happy. I wanted to hug him. I` At the same day I told it to Adam. He was happy! Next 3 days was gone so fast! When I arrived home the first thing that I`ve done - maked NORMAL food. I hate food in hospitals. Of course - Con every day bringed fruits for me, but how long I can eat only fruits that Con brings for me? -Are you always eating that much!? - Con asked. He was really sourprised when I made a portion that would be enough for 2. -No! I just want to eat normal food! I hate hospital food! And I can`t live only with eating fruits! Want some too? - We started to laugh. -No, thanks! I`m not hungry!

8.The forest We`re going for a walk every day, and every day we was going further and further. And my forces were beginning to return. I decided to show to Henry my favourite place.. In the forest. My sielent and safety forest.. My home. I asked him: -Do you want to see my favourite place in this city? -Why not!? - Con answered. -Follow me!

After 20 minutes walk he asked: -It`s far? -No! Still 5 minutes walk from here! -Ok.. I`l a little bit tired! -Really!? -Yes! Are you really camed here every day!? -Yes! This is my favourite place! -Yeah.. But you couldn`t find a place that wasn`t so far!? For answer I smiled.. When we was in that place I shouted: "Home, sweet home".. I was so happy. -Hsshh! Are you crazy!? - Con said. -No! I`m not crazy. I`m just happy! I`m at home! -And you`re calling this place "home"!? - He was incredulous. -Yes! Look around! What you see? -A forest, birds and thus big stone. I can`t see anything that deserves to be called a home! -You can see only forest, birds and a stone!? -Yes.. Should I need to see something more? - He asked, but it sounded like he asks for forgiveness. -No. But don`t you think that here is so sielent? Only birds is singing their beautiful songs. There`s no highway noises! -Really! It`s beautiful there! -I know. Can I ask something to you? -Emm.. Sure! Go on! -Why does you saved me that night? -Because I needed to do it! I`m sure that you would do the same! And you asked me this question! Remember? -Yes, I remember. Just checked out! .. But What was you doing outside that night!? -I..I was for a walk!

-Oh really!? -Y..Yes! -Are you sure? -Ok.. I followed you.. -WHAT!? You followed me? - I shouted. -I seen you in park 2 weeks before an accident. You was shouting on your friend! -That was my ex boyfriend! He left me that day. -Sorry.. -That`s OK! But why does you followed me? -Your ex boyfriends sight.. that how he looked at you at this day.. I thought that he could be dangerous to you. I wanted to protect you from him because I was inlove from the first sight.. Do you believe it? -Actually yes! I believe! And what about next days? -I was watching you from far. I was afraid to go closer to you.. But if you were in danger I would run and save you from him or anyone else! But then I saw that you`re hidding from your ex. boyfriend. -His name is Chris. -Ok. Chris. Anyway you was safe and he was interested in his girlfriends boobs. He is one of those guys who needs only sex and things in that way. He don`t care about feelings.. -Ok.. And what about you, Adam? -I don`t care about sex. For me important are feelings! -That`s nice! We should go home! It stays dark! -Ok! -I love you, Yuna! -I love you too! - I was sourprised about what he just said, but my voice was calm.

9.In the walk One day I asked to Con:

-What is your favourite food? -Any chinese or japanese food, but most of all I like crab legs! And what is your favourite food? -Oranges and stawberries with yoghurt.. -Mm.. Sounds tasty! Then we`re just walking around. After some time I asked: -What is your favourite movies? He answered: -Hmm.. Actually I like a lot of movies. The most i like:1."Tron legacy",2."Resident evil Degeneration" and 3."Resident evil afterlife". -Oh! I see that you like everything that is unusual.. - I am smiling. -Yes. - he answered and started to laugh. -What is your favourite song top 5? -I asked. -1."Animal i have become" by Three days grace, 2. "No one gets left behind" by Five finger death punch, 3."The Night" by Disturbed, 4."The one winged angel" soundtrack used in "Final Fantasy IV advent children", 5."Lux aeterna" by Clint Mansell. -Hmm.. I have listened all these songs in video games.. -Yes. All of these songs is used in games. Are you playing video games? -Noo. I know some games, but I`m not playing it - one of my brothers loves to play video games. -Ok. But what about your TOP3 favourite movies/films? -Hmm.. Let me think: 1."If only", 2."The diary of bridget jones", 3."Fantastic 4 and the silver surfer". -Ok.. I see you`re not big film fan. You like romantic films.. -Yes! -And what about 5 your favourites songs? - Con asked. -1."I`m going home" by Chris Daughtry, 2."If today was your last day" by Nickelback, 3."Everything burns" by Anastacia&Ben Moody, 4."Numb" by Linkin Park, and 5."Unforgotten" - soundtrack in "Halo3" -Hmm.. Interesting choice.. -I like almost all kinds of music but I can`t stand "techno", "electro" or "house" music.

-You are bizarre girl.. -Yes, I know! - I`m laughing. -So.. What about your hobbies? -I like to play guitar.. Actually I`m learn to play it. Also I love to read books, you know it. And I am playing on flute and piano. -Wow! You`re musician! -No! I am just girl, who can play many instruments! And what about your hobbies? -I love reading and.. I`m playing video games.. -No! You`re not looking like that who loves video games! - I was a little bit shocked. -I am playing it! - Con smiles. -Ok. That`s your choice!

10.The end After 2 days arrived my parents. They was really happy when we meet. They said that Dr.Benjamin called him and said what happened. My brothers arrived next day. Thay were in camp. All my family comed up with Adam. My parents was happy that I have friend. Both of my brothers likes Con - Now they are playing video games together when I am playing guitar or I am not at home. They became friends. Every day we was meeting. We could went for a walks every day and be out of home all the day. We talked about everything that was on our minds. We was happy. One day he said that after week he need to go home. He told that he lives in Jacksonville, Florida. That was terrible.. Why it happened now? When I found someone to trust.. When he is everything for me. I falled in love again.. And now..it`s the end of my happy story.. Inside I broke.. Con said that we could keep our friendship by writing e-mails. I agreed and then I brusted in tears.. -What happened? - He asked. -Nothing...Just...Never mind... -Tell me! I thought that you trust me! -Yes - you know that I trust you..But I can`t say it! -Please! For me?

-..I...love....you.... I don`t want you to leave! - And again I brust into tears. -I love you too! Yuna! Listen to me! I know that it`s hard to say goodbye to someone who you love.. You think that it is easy for me? -Adam, I don`t know what you feel! I know only that, what I feel! I miss you right now! When I arrived home I ran into my room and cryed. I was thinking:"Why it`s happening with me? Why? I just want someone to love!" Then in my room camed my mom. She saw me crying and asked: -What`s happened? -Con leaves after week! -Oh.. And why are you crying? -MOM! I love him more than you ever know! -Ok, ok! But you could use instant messaging! -Yes, but that`s not the same! - Chad and Josh knows that Adam is leaving? -Mom asked. (They are my brothers - as you know) -No. He wanted to say it to him tomorrow. -Ok. Now go to sleep. You are looking very bad! -Ok, mom! -Goodnight, Yuna! -Goodnight, mom! When My mom went out of my room I took my MP3. Song that was playing - "Broken" by Evanescence. I was listening music til I falled asleep. How strange, that all the songs that I heard was sad. But that was only that I wanted to listen. Next day I was in my room. It was 6am when I woked up. Then I took one of my books. It was "The kite runner" by Khaled Hosseini. Sad story about friendship of two boys.. I recommed to read it to everyone. I was reading for hours. I didn`t wanted to go somewhere. I wanted to be alone. At 2pm Con went into my room. -Why are you sitting in your room? I thought that we will go for a walk today - as usually! - He was worried. -I want to be alone... Please leave me! -Have you ate something today? -No. I`m not hungry! Leave me alone, please!

-NO. I will stay here until you say what`s happening with you. - Con said. -It`s nothin` with me! I just want to be alone! -Don`t you want to go for a walk with me sweety? -No! Don`t call me that! It hurts more than you think! (I brust into tears) -Why? -You are leaving! I never had someone to love forever! You know that my ex. boyfriend left me.. -Sorry! -... Now go! He went away. Only after 2 days I went out from my room (my mom brought food to my room every day). I was ready to meet Con again. I was thinking all the time.. Now I am ready to loose something.. Loose part of my heart.

11.Goodbyes After week Con asked me to accompany him to airport. -Hi! How are you today, Yuna? -Hi! I`m fine..Almost.. -What`s wrong? - He was worried. -I am so sad about that you`re leaving.. -I know.. But remember that we could use instant messaging and emails! -Yes, I know that.. -My plane is after 1,5 hours, so we can talk now! -Yes. We have some time to be together.. After that no one of us didn`t say anything.. Strange sielence.. Only in my MP3 we could hear that song is playing "Enjoy the sielence" by Depeche mode. We started to laugh. This was perfect laugh. Then both of us turned against each other and his head approached to my head... He kissed me.. I felt so good and stupid - I was in 7th. heaven, but I knew that around us is a lot of people.. -For what it was? - I asked.

-For you! -Thanks! -No problem! -I feel so stupid now.. -Why!? -All these people saw us! -So what!? -Urmm.. I`m shy! -I`m too! Again laugh.. But then I remembered that he`s leaving.. He could see it in my eyes.. -What happened with you? -You`re leaving.. I wish you to stay with me! -Believe in me! I wish the same! -I will miss you! -I will miss you too! And then Con`s uncle to say goodbye to Con. -Hello Mr.Elam! -Hello, Yuna! How are you today? -I`m fine, thanks! And how are you Mr.Elam? -I`m fine too, Yuna! Then camed Chad and Josh. -Heey Con! - They said. -Hello boys! -We will miss you! You are cool guy! -You, two are cool too! -When you will come again? - Josh asked. I was tankful that he asked it. -I don`t know, Josh! -Hey, Con! Your plane is after 45 minutes! - I said.

-Yeah! I know! And then camed my parents. Actually I was really sourprised that they camed, but I knew that they have good relation. But anyway it sourprised me! -Hello, Con! Hello Mr.Elam! -Hello! - Con and Mr.Elam answered in one time. -We bringed for you something! -Really? - He was sourprised. And I was confused and sourprised too. -Yes! But remember that you could open it only at home! Here you go! -Thanks! -You should go if you don`t want to late for your plane! -Ok! Thanks to everyone! Everyone said goodbye to Con and then slowly went to the exit. I stayed. -Bye! - I said. -Bye, Yuna! I will miss you! -I miss you right now! Give me a sign when you will be at home! -Ok! -Now go! You are lating! - I said with tears in my eyes. *He kissed me again* -Don`t miss me! - Con said. BYE - we both said and then he runned away. I stayed in airport till plane flight away. Only then I went home.

12.Sadness At home I went into my room and cried. It`s always to say goodbye to someone who means to you so much, and you don`t know when he will return. I was enough strong to see him leavi`n but now I can`t stand this pain. I don`t know how to live.. And at this moment I remembered that my parents gave a package to him. I stand up from my bed and went to living room where my family was watching TV. -Hey! What was in that package which you gave to Con? -He will say it to you someday! -They answered.

-Ok.. But why you don`t want to say it!? -We want to make sourprise to you too! -Urmm... Ok.. And then I went away. I took my MP3 and went to forest. I don`t care that`s evening and stays dark. I went to my favourite place - to the forest. There I went every time when I felt sad. Song that was playing was Reamonn - “Colder”. One good song! In the forest I was 2 hours. This was very dark evening but I could see stars between trees. I went home only because it was cold. Unusual cold at this time of year. Last week of summer I was at my home or in the forest. I wasn`t talking with anyone. I was so depressed and I was hidding from everyone. Our first chat after he leaved on internet was very short. Too short... -Hi, Yuna! -Hi! What was the flight? -Good! -That`s good! :) -How are you? -I`m fine, Thanks! And how are you? -I`m fine, but I rwally miss you.. -I miss you too! I wish I had a photo where we are together, but Josh deleted it.. And that`s the reason why I think that you was just a dream in summer night.. -Oh.. But your parents gave to me a picture of us! -Lucky! -Aha! But your parents didn`t said it!? -Actually no! -Strange.. But sorry, Yuna - I need to go! See you later! -Ok! Be soon back! -I will try! Bye! -Bye..

13. Routine

When started school I was doing all homeworks, I done everything that teachers asked. I was perfect at all lessons. After school I had music school. And after it I done my homeworks but in dark nights I was chatting with Adam. I had planned every minute - where I will be and what I need to do. In my class started to learn a girl. Her name is Kate. Both of us was introvert and that was the reason to became friends. We could trust each other. But it take the time till we started to trust more to each other... Every evening Iwas waiting for that moment when I could chat with Con, but not always he camed... But sometimes I stayed awake all night long, but then he said that I need to sleep.. Usually it was when there was 7AM. He thought that I really went to sleep, but he was wrong! All the time I was thinking about our last chat.. I said goodbyes to sleeping. All that I wanted was Con. I just can`t live without him... Something new Me and Kate now are best frinds and we`re talking about everything that`s on our minds. One sunday we both went to the forest - we are going there often. And then I got SMS. It was from Con. *Hello Yuna! I hope you`re doing good! /Your Con/* -From who is it!? I had never seen that you had recived a SMS! - Kate was sourprised. -It is from Con.. Adam. -Con or Adam? -Adam, but friends is calling him as Con. -Oh.. And who is he? -He`s a friend. In summer he saved my life. -Really? You had never told me about it! -You won`t asked! -Hmm..OK. But where is he!? -In his home. He`s living in Jacksonville. -Wow.. That`s pretty far! -Yeah.. - Sigh. -Hey! What happened!? -Nothing.. Just good memories about him! -Ok! But what was he doing here? -He was visiting his uncle. -Oh!

To be continued....

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