Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev. Rev.
12/29/90 01/07/91 01/15/91 01/18/91 02/07/91 02/13/91 02/15/91 02/19/91 02/22/91 02/26/91 02/28/91 03/18/91 04/03/91
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THE ADDAMS FAMILY
by Larry Wilson and Caroline Thompson
Rewrite by Paul Rudnick
based on the characters of Charles Addams
SHOOTING SCRIPT April 11, 1991
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/6/90 FADE IN: A1 EXT. ADDAMS MANSION FRONT STEPS - CHRISTMAS EVE A1
A GROUP OF CAROLERS, their eager faces upturned, SINGS an endless and cloying roundelay of "Little Drummer Boy." They sing with self-righteous good cheer. As they pompously begin their umpteenth verse, THE CAMERA SLOWLY PANS UP THE ADDAMS MANSION -- past the black wreath on the front door, past broken windows, weather-beaten shingles, a creaking shutter. THE CAMERA CONTINUES TO PAN TO THE ROOF where the Addams Family members, GOMEZ, MORTICIA, GRANNY, PUGSLEY, WEDNESDAY, and LURCH, their faithful butler, gleefully POUR a CAULDRON OF BUBBLING, STEAMING PITCH over the edge. AS THE CAULDRON TIPS, THE CAMERA PUSHES INSIDE, THE BLACKNESS OF THE PITCH FILLS THE SCREEN. TITLES BEGIN. DISSOLVE TO: 1 INT. DIM HALLWAY - SEVEN O'CLOCK A.M. C.U. AN OVER-SIZED "CUCKOO" CLOCK -The clock is a perfect REPLICA OF THE ADDAMS FAMILY HOUSE, down to the creaking shutter. It chimes the hour. In ONE WINDOW, a LITTLE MECHANICAL GOMEZ bends a MECHANICAL MORTICIA back until she's almost off her feet and plants a kiss between her clockwork decolletage. One, two, three mechanical kisses, counting toward seven o'clock. IN ANOTHER WINDOW, A MECHANICAL PUGSLEY hangs a MECHANICAL WEDNESDAY from a noose on a gallows, up and down. Meanwhile, little BURSTS OF FOG float off the rooftop where a little MECHANICAL GRANNY cranks her fog machine. The front door of the house pops open, and a MECHANICAL LURCH appears and begins sweeping. Just then, THING, the disembodied hand with the full-bodied personality, CLIMBS into view over the back of the clock. Thing leaps to the floor and SCAMPERS down the hall. LOW TRACKING SHOT follows Thing along the hallway. (CONTINUED) 1
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/28/90 1 CONTINUED:
He runs past a couple of doors, past a pair of LEGS in pajamas, feet in bedroom slippers. He skids to a halt and BACK TRACKS to the legs. He pulls on the cuff of the pajama bottoms. They belong to GOMEZ, who stands in the doorway to A2 INT. FESTER'S ROOM A2
Gomez wears a fez and a smoking jacket over his pajamas. Even at this early hour, he puffs on his trademark cigar. Gomez is all enthusiasm or all despair. At the moment, he radiates unfathomable woe. GOMEZ Think of it, Thing. He's been gone for twenty-five years. For twentyfive years we've attempted to contact Fester in the great beyond... The room is a dusty, cobweb-filled, long-unoccupied shrine to Gomez's lost brother, Fester. Gomez drifts in from the doorway. The room has remained untouched since Fester's disappearance as a teenager. The thick coating of dust and cobwebs adorns the mementoes of a rapscallion's youth - a football pennant from Alcatraz, headless sports trophies, a high school photo with all the other students keeping as much distance from Fester as possible. As he lovingly and morosely surveys the room: GOMEZ ... And for twenty-five years, nothing. Not a whisper, not a clue. I'm beginning to think my my brother truly is lost. Gomez sighs. the B2 Thing TUGS at his cuff, pulling him towards B2
INT. HALLWAY - SAME TIME Galloping ahead of Gomez, Thing leaps onto an old-fashioned door latch and the door swings open INTO
INT. GOMEZ AND MORTICIA'S BEDROOM - SAME TIME Gomez approaches the bed. is... MORTICIA (CONTINUED)
Asleep on scarlet satin sheets
"Detour! Excavation Ahead!". sultry and remote. PUGSLEY'S ROOM . darling? MORTICIA (passionately) Oh. he crawls out of his human-size pajamas. she's a ruined beauty. The walls of his room are covered with road signs he's collected -. FILLED WITH PIRANHA.11/28/90 2 CONTINUED: GOMEZ (gazing at Morticia) Look at her -. Grin-
He contorts. are stacked in the corner. In another corner stands a CYLINDRICAL FLOOR-TO-CEILING FISH TANK.what bliss. with Morticia. yes. Pugsley SWALLOWS it down. "Keep Clear! High Voltage!" SAWED-OFF STOP SIGNS. Morticia OPENS HER EYES. "Dangerous Undertow!". Completely. A dark Garbo."Bridge Out!". ning wickedly.I would die for her. yes. This tubby energetic monster of a nine-year-old boy has every chance of growing up to be the public monster his parents would be proud of. playing with his kid-sized chemistry set. CUT TO: 4 OMITTED 4
. Either way -. still on their poles.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . and subtle. Laughing.
3. smiles are rare. CUT TO: A3 3 OMITTED INT. I would kill for her.SAME TIME A3 3
Pugsley crouches on the floor. 2
Low-voiced. The brew steams. He MIXES chemicals in a beaker. incisive. GOMEZ (adoringly) Unhappy. undergoing the beginnings of a transformation. The ghostly whiteness of her complexion is offset by the red of the pillowcase upon which her hair is spread like a diabolic halo. then SHRINKS to the size of a mouse.
GOMEZ (wildly aroused) Tish.. along with a collection of glass eyes. CUT TO: 5 A6 OMITTED INT.. Morticia's OVERSIZED CARNIVOROUS ORCHID WILTS.11/28/90 A5 INT. fangs and dentures. Wednesday drops her tooth in the box..THE ADDAMS FAMILY .SAME TIME Gomez takes Morticia in his arms. the sun. GRANNY pokes her head through. Inside the box are assorted human and animal teeth. Granny tromps up into the attic. Grandmama. In a foul mood. il me perce comme un poignard. MORTICIA Gomez. She sits on a stool among the stored Addams' family objects. she is caught in a sudden shaft of sunlight. Cara mia! (CONTINUED) GOMEZ 5 A6
. Wednesday's pulled tooth swings at the end of the string. ONE END OF A STRING TIED TO HER TOOTH..SAME TIME
4. that's French! MORTICIA (nonchalant) Oui. GRANNY You kids are going to have to kill your own breakfast this morning. As she languidly drapes herself across his chest. A5
Solemn and mournful... GOMEZ AND MORTICIA'S BEDROOM . The trap door is flung open. WEDNESDAY Thank you. She squints. ATTIC . Wednesday opens a cigar box. She's a giggly hag who looks like she was in the bathtub when the hairdryer fell in. THE OTHER TIED TO A TRAP DOOR. On the bedside table beside her. ten-year-old Wednesday has black hair and white skin like her mother.
you were.12/3/90 A6 CONTINUED:
5.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . suddenly bursting with enthusiasm and a sense of purpose. unhinged. Gomez? Querida? MORTICIA Last night. instantly aflame. straight out of a Jules Verne nightmare. CUT TO: 7 INT. GOMEZ (disturbed) Granny . pantomiming a duel with the shaft of light. Gomez pokes his head out. struggling to churn out its patches of fog./EXT.! The FOG MACHINE. Morticia brushes her hair with a silver filigree brush. Do it again.. You frightened me. is malfunctioning this morning. howling demon. GRANNY Lousy bucket of bolts... LEAPS from the bed. drawing his bedside saber from its sheath and BRANDISHING it at the offending beam.SAME TIME Granny delivers a swift kick to her fog machine.. Gomez. ROOFTOP . GOMEZ En garde monsieur sole! He thrusts and parries. In the background.where's your fog? (CONTINUED) 7 6 GOMEZ MORTICIA
. then. MORTICIA AND GOMEZ'S BEDROOM .SAME TIME At the window. You were like some desperate. A6
He kisses his way up to her neck. CUT TO: 6 EXT.
the fog machine hurtles downwards. WEDNESDAY (taking her bag) Thank you. the gigantic family butler.11/28/90 7 CONTINUED: FROM ABOVE
5A.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . missing decapitating Gomez by millimeters. The bags' contents wriggle. ENTRANCE HALL . a reanimated stitched-together behemoth. eager to escape. smashing through the front porch roof. Lurch.LATER Standing beside the front door is LURCH. He holds two brown paper lunch bags in his enormous hands. It crashes below. (CONTINUED) 8 9
. CUT TO: 8 9 OMITTED INT.
the Addams' CRUSTY PATRICIAN NEIGHBOR. and Pugsley closes the bag. This well-tended HOME sits on the hill overlooking the Addams' Mansion like some Republican sentinel. Judge Womack hurries to his broken window. GROWLS. opens it. (CONTINUED) 13 12 11
.SAME TIME JUDGE WOMACK. Judge! Keep the ball! I have a whole bucketful. BALCONY OUTSIDE GOMEZ AND MORTICIA'S BEDROOM SAME TIME
6. and peers inside. CUT TO: 10 EXT.11/6/90 9 CONTINUED: Pugsley takes his bag. Gomez waves back.SAME TIME FROM THEIR VANTAGE POINT -it appears to Gomez and Morticia that Judge Womack is waving to them. covering him with milk. NEIGHBOR'S HOME . 11 ONE OF THE GOLF BALLS flies with incredible speed THROUGH THE WINDOW of the ADDAMS' ONLY NEIGHBOR. who DEPOSITS IT in the golfbag.while Morticia sips tea. is having his breakfast when Gomez's golf ball lands in his cornflakes. shaking his fist: JUDGE WOMACK Damn you.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . CUT TO: 12 INT. He holds up a bucket of golf balls. He tosses his golfclub to Thing. Addams! CUT TO: 13 EXT. GOMEZ (calls) Sorry about the window.Thing serving as his tee -. shattering the bowl. 9 Lurch
Gomez is HITTING GOLF BALLS -. GOMEZ AND MORTICIA'S BALCONY .
.. a rotting shell. CUT TO: A14 B14 OMITTED INT. MORTICIA The little ones. is snipping the blossoms off her roses. GOMEZ (lustfully) Tish. Half-alive. CUT TO: GOMEZ A14 B14
. dragging his heels. Gomez sits at a table..THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. wearing gardening gloves. MORTICIA (yearningly) Oh Gomez. 13
Tires smoking. Tish. Gleefully hanging from the rear bumper is Pugsley. off to school. THE CONSERVATORY . MORTICIA Imagine.LATER THAT MORNING Morticia. don't they? Too fast. undone by woe. Darling. THEIR POV MORTICIA
7.. This very evening -. if Fester did come back. All those years. playing CHESS with Thing. GOMEZ It's a milestone.. the school bus strains to chug down the road.our twenty-fifth seance. gnawed by guilt.11/28/90 13 CONTINUED: Gomez joins Morticia watching THE DEPARTING SCHOOL BUS. burning with uncertainty. GOMEZ They grow up so fast. Don't tease. Bless them. That's my job. barely human. don't torture yourself.
Let me go! Ignoring Tully. Ha! GOMEZ That Tully. Gate slams on him. Thing moves two chess pieces. darling. 14
TULLY ALFORD. once handsome face. they never cease to be startled by "Gate. Gomez and Morticia both look out. clipping him and catching the end of his coat. JUST OUTSIDE THE ADDAMS' GROUNDS . CUT TO:
.SAME TIME A15 TULLY
Gomez moves a chess piece." a wrought-iron monstrosity that opens of its own accord. Then. As they do. as Tully passes through.12/3/90 14 EXT. MARGARET. and an embittered grey aura that is the mark of a middle-age misspent.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . High-strung and superficial. Thing gestures out the window. Margaret passes through Gate first. Thing moves another piece and gestures in triumph. and his wife. MORTICIA (looking out) Tully is here. cheating.
MORTICIA Romping with Gate. Tully fights Gate for his coat. Though Tully comes here often and Margaret has been here before. Margaret is more disappointed in Tully than he is in himself.SAME TIME
8. Margaret continues stiffly up the walk. approach "GATE." Tully has a puffy. the family attorney. CONSERVATORY . TULLY (to Gate) Gimme that! Stop it! I'm warning you! It's not a good day! CUT TO: A15 INT. MORTICIA (impressed) Checkmate. GOMEZ (moving a piece) Check.
MARGARET These are your last paying clients. Tully rips his coat to get it away from Gate.. GATE . B15
8A..12/26/90 B15 EXT..SAME TIME Tully! MARGARET Can't you keep up? TULLY I'm trying. may I remind you! TULLY If it gives you pleasure..THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
I've got a plan. did I marry you? TULLY Because I said yes.2/28/91 B15 CONTINUED: MARGARET Something has to. the charity auction. ADDAMS FAMILY PORTRAIT GALLERY .A LITTLE LATER Tully stalks glumly along the hall and past the family portraits -. It hisses at Tully as he passes. MARGARET This is all so humiliating. Addams. for evening. Margaret resolutely follows. Growling.something dressy.A LITTLE LATER Tully hands his hat to Lurch and marches off toward Gomez's study. (CONTINUED) 15 C15
. Beg. courage. Finding herself alone with Lurch. MARGARET I'm here to see Mrs.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (before Margaret can reply) Don't say it. Why
9.generations of Addams grotesques in elaborate gilt frames heading toward the imposing doors of Gomez's study. Lurch heads for the stairs. Margaret is more nervous and intimidated than she would ever admit. B15
Margaret marches on toward the front door. I'll get the money. splattering his trousers with fog. About Screwing up her CUT TO: 15 INT. skirting the fog machine as if it had every reason to be there. TULLY No loans! I'm not a bum. ENTRY HALL . CUT TO: C15 INT. Ask-for a loan. Like a decent coat .
He kicks at the rug. CUT TO: 16 INT.11/20/90 15 CONTINUED: ON THE FLOOR lies a BEAR RUG eyes and mouth open.. Girding himself. THE INTRICATELY CARVED DOORS TO GOMEZ'S STUDY creak open. brandishing a saber. Damn! TULLY
10. It BITES him. interrupting the reverie.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. A PORTRAIT OF THE TEENAGE FESTER ADDAMS draped in black crepe and HOLDING A LIT CANDLE. (CONTINUED) GOMEZ It SHUDDERS. dancing around. Tully proceeds inside. though how it is holding a lit candle is an utter mystery.?" TULLY regards the portrait intently. its blade glinting. He flails. sudden FEROCIOUS GROWL as he steps on it. preoccupied. clamping its jaws onto his trouser cuff. almost as if having a premonition. He leaps into frame. 1947 . The identifying plaque reads "Fester Addams. finally managing to shake it off. He misses. GOMEZ'S STUDY . He finds himself FACE-TO-FACE with one of the paintings. At fifteen. Fester was utterly hairless with a dead white complexion and eyes rimmed in black like a raccoon's. Tully. TULLY'S HAND grabs for the hilt of the sword.SAME TIME A SABER slices through the air. THE BLADE embeds in the wall with a thunk. 16
. strides toward the rug.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/28/90 16 CONTINUED:
Tully BACK-PEDALS and, as he PULLS the sword from the wall, POINTS TO something behind Gomez. What's that?! Gomez turns to see and Tully CHARGES, wielding the sword as if he means to decapitate Gomez. But Gomez easily PARRIES the blow. GOMEZ Dirty pool, old man! I like it! He shreds Tully's TULLY
Gomez counters, driving Tully back. jacket. Had enough? TULLY
They continue to fence. Gomez flips Tully's briefcase open and a sheaf of legal looking papers spills out. GOMEZ Where's my pen? Never mind, I'll use yours. His blade finds the pen in Tully's inside jacket pocket. He does HANDSPRINGS back to his desk, landing gracefully in his chair. GOMEZ First, the old business! He swivels, warding off another blow, then cavalierly continues the duel as he signs the LEGAL DOCUMENTS scattered before him. CUT TO: 17 INT. ADDAMS ATTIC - SAME TIME Morticia, Granny, and Margaret sort through Addams' possessions. In trunks. Boxed. Stacked. Covered with shrouds. Morticia opens a gigantic, elaborately carved armoire. MORTICIA Perhaps it's in here. GRANNY (mischievously) I don't think so... In the front of the armoire is an overstuffed GARMENT BAG LABELLED 'UNCLE NIKNAK'S WINTER CLOTHES.' (CONTINUED) 17
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/6/90 17 CONTINUED: MORTICIA (full of fond memories) Uncle Niknak's winter wardrobe... She carefully passes the garment bag to Granny who chucks it aside.
The next garment bag is marked 'UNCLE NIKNAK'S SUMMER CLOTHES.' MORTICIA Uncle Niknak's summer wardrobe... She passes this garment bag to Granny who chucks it aside also. Next in the armoire is a BODY BAG. MORTICIA (fonder still) Uncle Niknak. Morticia continues going through the armoire. CUT TO: 18 INT. GOMEZ'S STUDY - SAME TIME Gomez and Tully are still duelling. hasn't even broken a sweat. GOMEZ I wish you'd drop by more often. Tully doggedly fights on. His jacket has suffered more shredding from Gomez's blade. TULLY I'm like to, but... GOMEZ But what, old sport? TULLY Oh, you know... GOMEZ You know what? TULLY I'm a bleeder. (CONTINUED) Still signing. 18 Gomez
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/20/90 18 CONTINUED:
Gomez STOPS DEAD at a document. Deftly, he DISARMS Tully, sending his saber flying up and out of view. GOMEZ What's this? A new proposal? "The Fester Addams Off-Shore Retirement Fund?" What would they do? TULLY What wouldn't they do? It's a very worthy cause and a great addition to the other Fester Addams Funds. GOMEZ (rhapsodizes) Fester - all tribute to thee. called him inhumanly evil. TULLY (protesting) No! GOMEZ Only our parents. I called him brother. TULLY And his memory must live on, forever. Through money. We'll deposit the funds under my name, for tax purposes. Really? GOMEZ That's inspired!
TULLY He would have wanted it that way. Beloved Fester. The sword tumbles back into his hand. duelling. Indeed! GOMEZ For Fester! TULLY A brother! GOMEZ My brother! (CONTINUED) They resume
flipping endless pages.... GOMEZ But. amount. It's going to have to wait.... Gomez holds up the proposal. 18
With one finger. (CONTINUED) GOMEZ Next quarter!?
. Tully. You know the rules better than that. Next quarter! Tully has gone white. The perfect (2)
14. TULLY One million dollars. GOMEZ (cont'd) . He lands on a distant date. TULLY (taken aback) What? But this is different! It's in my name! Make an exception! GOMEZ Old business is old business and new business is new business and this. it's not old business. GOMEZ It's brilliant! TULLY It's untraceable. TULLY Next quarter!? Tully goes to attack like an enraged bull... he rifles through a desk calendar.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .11/28/90 18 CONTINUED: TULLY One of a kind! GOMEZ The doctors all said! TULLY Kind to animals! So good with children! GOMEZ They never proved anything. is new business and we don't discuss new business again until.
VAGUE ANIMAL HOWLS. Thing. We see the book's title . colliding with the chair.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GOMEZ Make yourself comfortable. while I get the money for the monthly expenses. THE SOUNDS OF CHAINS AND PULLEYS. and carried by the momentum of the charge. goes through the doors. Then it turns back to its original position. intent on spying on Gomez. Tully SOMERSAULTS over the desk.SAME TIME B20
The armoire has been totally emptied. Tully crawls to the doors and slides them open a crack. The entire shelf -. DEN . plucks the sword from the air and resheathes it. and staggers for the bookcase. old man. The saber skewers the overstuffed chair.a secret panel -revolves and deposits Gomez on the other side of the wall.GREED. perched on a decorative Samurai helmet. Morticia looks over the contents of a nearby shelf. on the floor. Thing sits on the shelf. FROM BEHIND THE BOOKCASE COME THE SOUNDS OF GOMEZ MAKING HIS DESCENT INTO THE VAULT. GROANING.just missing being run through by Tully's saber. CREAKING. He PEEKS INTO: 19 A20 OMITTED INT. offering a BEJEWELED TREASURE. Tully gets to his feet. ATTIC . 18
Gomez does a KUNG FU BACK FLIP out of his chair -. SPLASHING WATER. pulling it partway from the shelf. closing the office doors behind him. ruined.11/28/90 18 CONTINUED: (3)
15. landing on the floor. GOMEZ Fine lunge. Gomez reaches for A BOOK. Tully lies.SAME TIME 19 A20
At one of the floor-to-ceiling bookshelves. Gomez GRABS TULLY'S BRIEFCASE and makes a brisk exit. CUT TO: B20 INT. but your riposte a tad rusty. Gomez carelessly flings away his sword. (CONTINUED)
Morticia. what is it? MORTICIA A family heirloom. Just what we've been searching for.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (takes the treasure from Thing) Thank you. he's been coughing up blood. Look at those emeralds. He won't eat. MARGARET It must be worth a fortune. We need more of them. he can't sleep. Won't you come? It's Gomez.tonight. MARGARET (awed) My God. Margaret is at first afraid to touch it. but greed helps her get over it. Widows and orphans.. Margaret? Enchanted by the object.
16. MARGARET (aghast) He coughs up blood? (CONTINUED) She
.. (superciliously) Oh. I'm terribly worried. Thing. this is too extravagant! Even for the auction! GRANNY Let's keep it.it's for charity. inserts her fingers and they're instantly stuck. Margaret isn't listening. A finger trap from the court of Emperor Wu. dragons' heads with gaping jaws at either end. MORTICIA Hush . MARGARET (struggling) Mmm? MORTICIA The seance .11/28/90 B20 CONTINUED: MORTICIA There it is. B20
Morticia passes Margaret the JEWEL-ENCRUSTED CYLINDER OF WEBBED GOLD.
. blowing Tully's hair straight up. CUT TO: 20 INT.11/20/90 B20 CONTINUED: (2)
17. a feather duster in his gigantic hands. returns it to the shelf. then tosses them into Tully's briefcase. Biting back his frustration. approximately in the same place where Gomez unlocked the secret panel -but Tully's book comes out of its place on the shelf and nothing happens.another hateful ordeal.. CUT TO: C20 INT. it's time. Gomez. GOMEZ'S STUDY .U. Tully reaches for a book.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Gomez. A checkbook.SAME TIME C20
At the bookshelf.. B20
MORTICIA (sadly) Well. He manages to close the book and.LATER C. TULLY'S BRIEFCASE Now filled with greenish DOUBLOONS. (CONTINUED) 20
. A HURRICANE BLAST OF WIND GUSTS from the open book. wearing a green accountant's eyeshade. not like he used to. DEN . rippling his facial muscles.. heart pounding. GOMEZ There . For the new fund. It's dead weight in his hand -. Tully snaps the briefcase shut and hoists it from Gomez's desk. "GONE WITH THE WIND. weighs a final handful of coins on an old-fashioned measuring scale. Tully reads the title." He opens the cover. TULLY (trying to phrase it) I don't suppose you have any paper money in that vault. He grins sheepishly at LURCH Who's been watching him from where he dusts in the hall.the monthly expenses.
expertly in Tully's vest pocket. (CONTINUED)
. JUDGE WOMACK'S HOUSE . (Judge Womack won't let him inside). The seance . For him. Seance? Tully lugs the briefcase toward the door. Tully. Tully turns back. By the way . Or Fester. CUT TO: 21 22 thru 26 A27 B27 OMITTED OMITTED 21 22 thru 26 A27 B27 It lands TULLY TULLY
OMITTED EXT. 20
(confidentially) Strange people. GOMEZ I broke another of Judge Womack's windows this morning. Tully resumes his put-upon march to the door.A LITTLE LATER Tully is on the front steps.I don't trust
18. GOMEZ Eight o'clock. Gomez flips an extra DOUBLOON across the room.I need you here. helplessly enduring another of the Judge's tongue lashings. searching his pockets for the doubloon...11/28/90 20 CONTINUED: Never! them. GOMEZ The banks . Really? GOMEZ (his arm around Tully) Not like you and me.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
I can still hear her voice. day in and day out. (annoyed) Miss Bradbury! ABIGAIL (O. but now the leather on the chairs is starting to crack and a repainting is long overdue. Margaret.LATER
19..) She's at lunch. (to Margaret) Are those emeralds? CUT TO: C27 INT. (CONTINUED)
. MARGARET (still wearing the fingertrap) I'm stuck! JUDGE WOMACK (to Tully) You lowlife. Tully looks around for his secretary.. she'd always say.. Tully steps into D27 INT.. clear as a bell.S.11/12/90 B27 CONTINUED: JUDGE WOMACK (to Tully) Still working for Addams. Mr.. still lugging his impossibly heavy briefcase.. TULLY Miss Bradbury . Her steely will and conniving manipulativeness are barely veiled by a thin layer of polish and good manners. TULLY'S LAW OFFICE .SAME TIME D27
Sitting in a chair on the client's side of Tully's desk is ABIGAIL CRAVEN. Alford. Alarmed. And you'll hear Satan laugh." Here's your doubloon.THE ADDAMS FAMILY ." TULLY ". His offices were once quite elegant. B27
Tully enters the secretary's alcove. (to Margaret) Mother warned you.. "Marry Tully Alford.. an arrogant. TULLY'S OFFICE . aristocratic-seeming 60ish doyenne.
his dark hair plastered with pomade. ABIGAIL I'm certain you were.. Just hear me out.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . I'm wild about him. but his face falls at the sight of: GORDON CRAVEN Fleshy and round. Alford? And why? TULLY Please. he is IMMEDIATELY THREATENING. Alford? Tully turns amiably. impeccably if eccentrically dressed. Craven. have have you. (she gestures) You haven't met my son. Gordon. in his 40's. I was just about to call you. Gordon has him by the throat... hanging him upside down from the wall like an oil painting.. (CONTINUED)
. Mr... your call. Mr. hold on! to listen to me!
ABIGAIL We do. Tully blanches.11/28/90 D27 CONTINUED:
20. Mother? deadbeat you mentioned? The
Before Tully can react. Tully sets his heavy briefcase on his desk and shakes her hand. D27
Instantly obsequious. ABIGAIL (to Tully) Gordon and I enjoy a very. special relationship.. GORDON Mother. TULLY (choking) Wait a minute. With his barrel chest and his kamikaze demeanor.. TULLY Mrs. GORDON (infatuated) She's a pip. GORDON Is this the one.
. Mr. So do I. no? (after a beat) Down... Payment due. Gordon . ABIGAIL (re: Gordon) He's so terribly trusting. dropping him on his head. ABIGAIL (sternly) Gordon.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . TULLY Soon. Alford? heard so much about her. crawls toward his desk.. (CONTINUED) GORDON
... ABIGAIL And how is your wife. Mother.. make me proud. ABIGAIL We've lent you a considerable sum..& 21A. Gordon grabs Tully and sweeps him onto his desk.. Tully TULLY GORDON
TULLY I don't have the money to repay you.. ABIGAIL Oh.. ABIGAIL (to Gordon) Silly boy.. I've tried everything. Still charming? Still spending? Whimpering. Gordon! Gordon lets go.1/15/91 D27 CONTINUED: (2):
21. I promise. GORDON She's a saint. D27
ABIGAIL Refreshing.I want to believe him. Many thousands of dollars. Gordon.
The inspiration is obviously born of terror. croaky whisper) Fester. The Addams' doubloons
Abigail and Gordon light up at the sight of the gold. CUT TO:
. The glare from the lightbulb hanging overhead whites out Gordon's hair -making Gordon look as bald as a cue-ball. TULLY (in a shocked. disbelieving.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . TULLY (babbling hysterically) It's not what you think! Those are doubloons! For the Addams account! Addams? TULLY There's more. there's a fortune.. menacingly. It's like a sudden vision. comes nose-to-nose with Gordon. D27
TULLY'S BRIEFCASE pops open as it hits the floor. but no one can get to it! Don't you think I've tried? ABIGAIL Have you? Have you tried hard enough? Ask him. Sweetheart. They share a malicious smile. GORDON He lied to us. SPILL OUT. TULLY. Gordon leers down at the battered Tully.? Gordon makes a face at his mother.1/15/91 D27 CONTINUED: (3):
22. No! TULLY Sweetheart! Don't ask! ABIGAIL
TULLY'S CRINGING POV Gordon's face hovers inches from his own. Gordon is the SPITTING IMAGE OF THE LONG-LOST FESTER. Mother. Gordon descends on Tully.. as he would appear twenty-five years later.
My little boy... and this hideous creature. MORTICIA (aroused) I know. MOTEL ROOM . highway-style motel room. Gordon is seated on the bed. darling. THUNDER AND LIGHTNING! CUT TO: 27 INT. we're starting! (amused) Put down that antenna! Another LIGHTNING FLASH. consulting a picture of FESTER that Tully has lent them. ABIGAIL (staring at the picture) It's uncanny. facing a cracked mirror.SAME TIME
23. rundown. (hurt) Mother. ADDAMS MANSION DEN . CUT TO: 28 29 A30 OMITTED OMITTED INT.EVENING Morticia stands at the open window.. E27
27 Gomez stands behind
28 29 A30
A typical.. Seance weather. MORTICIA (festively) Children. Morticia leans out the window. with stained fiberglass curtains and a splotchy oil painting. Abigail stands behind him. THE ADDAMS MANSION ..11/28/90 E27 EXT. GOMEZ (nuzzling her) It's a miserable night. GOMEZ (passionately) Hailstones.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (CONTINUED) GORDON
. MORTICIA And lightning. her.. his arms around her waist.SILHOUETTED AGAINST THE NIGHT SKY RAIN.
And later. GORDON (intensely) You're so good. Margaret wears the same clothes she wore on her earlier visit -. A30
Gordon moans orgasmically as Abigail begins to shave him.11/14/90 A30 CONTINUED: ABIGAIL (correcting herself) Handsome creation. (putting a towel on Gordon's shoulders) Think of it.. covered with foam.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .no more grubby store-front scams.I can feel it.A FEW MINUTES LATER Lurch peels off Margaret's and Tully's wet overcoats. (CONTINUED) CUT TO: 30 31
. and he'll take the rap. ABIGAIL (seductively) Shave and a haircut. And Alford? ABIGAIL We need him . 30 31 OMITTED INT. You locate the vault and then we're gone poof! Before they notice what's missing.the finger trap has made it impossible for her to change. All that delicious money . we'll be miles away. No more loansharking to scum like Tully Alford. GORDON GORDON
24. my angel . ABIGAIL (in his ear) Just one week and out. So can I. right in my fingertips. Abigail holds up a shaving brush.for now. Mister? GORDON (breathing heavily) Two bits.. ENTRYWAY .
.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . 31
Tully tries to make
Hey.. TULLY Give it a rest. Margaret is amazed. (holding up her trapped hands) Could you?
Wednesday deftly releases the trap from Margaret's fingers.
Tully reaches out to pat Wednesday's head. conversation. Thank God..
TULLY Get it yourself. MARGARET Call me a cab. Wednesday has come to escort them. TULLY Don't add to it. She tries to straighten her disheveled clothes.1/15/91 31 CONTINUED: MARGARET What a miserable evening... MORTICIA Welcome. Entrails? CUT TO: MORTICIA Morticia
. TULLY Big night for you guys! small fry. sweetheart. Morticia appears. MARGARET Give me the car keys.. Tully. She moves away.. honored guests. MARGARET Hello. Lurch presents a tray of vile-looking canapes.. motions to the tray.
) Let us gather.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . in this house of yearning.S. at this table of woe. Is everyone comfortable? CUT TO:
25A. on this day of heartsick loss. MORTICIA (O. A32
.2/7/91 A32 LURCH AT HIS ORGAN He plays a CRASHING CHORD.
Ow! GRANNY What a grip! (CONTINUED)
26. our beacon to the beyond. (passing the raven to Wednesday) Do you accept the glorious burden? WEDNESDAY (taking the raven) May it weigh me down through all my melancholy years. the crystal ball in the center. all souls! Every year on this date. to Tully) Kids. GOMEZ (bemused. In the background. They do. MORTICIA All close eyes and join hands. The candle is in its belly and the beams of light glow from its eyes. 32
The family and Tully and Margaret sit at a round table. Pugsley has a meat cleaver aimed at his sister. MORTICIA Sing. DEN .11/28/90 32 INT. O spirits! Harken. Granny takes a squeamish Margaret's hand.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . WEDNESDAY (to Pugsley) Stop it! GOMEZ (scolding. MORTICIA (raising the raven) From generations.. we offer a clarion call to Fester Addams. Morticia holds a tarnished gold CANDLEHOLDER in the shape of a RAVEN. to generation. he hands it to Gomez. Reluctantly. playfully) Pugsley.. Lurch continues to play mood music on the organ.
MORTICIA (affectionately) Mama.you're a handful.. Tully pulls her back MARGARET
TULLY Sit down. stiff as a corpse. Margaret tries to shake Thing off. Join the fun. Thing lets go and runs off.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Still chuckling. leaving her "hand" behind. gather your strength and knock three times. 32
Granny pulls away.11/14/90 32 CONTINUED:
27. Pumpkin. Excuse me. Granny cackles." Mama. Pugsley laughs appreciatively. O Death. Margaret sits. Granny takes a hold of Margaret's now-rigid hand with her own real hand. Margaret shudders. With a last look around the table to insure that everyone has settled down. Let us be your plague. WEDNESDAY (intones) "Let us ransom you from the power of the grave. Morticia resumes the seance.. you should know better. Fester Addams. Margaret tries to escape. but he hangs on tightly. Margaret shrieks.. CUT TO: MORTICIA MORTICIA
.. her sleeve apparently empty. Tonight. My hand! GRANNY She's got my hand!
Left holding Thing. Thing . Ashen. GRANNY I feel that he's near... Wednesday.. to her seat..
Jubilant. He pounds THREE TIMES. GRANNY Did you hear that?! MORTICIA Ask again.11/14/90 33 and 34 35 OMITTED
28. this time even harder. DEN . Gordon's hand again KNOCKS THREE TIMES. GOMEZ (urgently) Ask! 36
GRANNY Fester Addams . the heavy hollow sound reverberating.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .just his hand.. TULLY By all means! Tully smirks. 33 and 34 35
EXT. Lurch's organ music perfectly underscores and punctuates the scene. THE FRONT DOOR .SAME TIME Granny's eyes pop open.SAME TIME
We see Gordon's hand on the DOOR KNOCKER . THE FRONT DOOR . CUT TO: 36 INT. Mama. CUT TO: 38 INT. barely able to contain his smug enthusiasm.. Quickly.I demand that you knock again! CUT TO: 37 EXT. Lurch hits a crescendo on the organ. GOMEZ He's at the door! He runs out and through the house to the 38
.SAME TIME 37
Waiting for someone to answer. DEN . Gomez springs to his feet.SAME TIME The knocking reverberates through the room.
His family at his heels. ENTRYWAY/FRONT STOOP . Fester endures it. enveloping him. Fester continue their face-off.FESTER FROM BEYOND. Neither man says a word. Could it be? Is that him? TULLY (innocently) Is it possible? Oh my God. Fester's eyes have a hard. I-dare-you-to-question-me look in them.A SHORT WHILE LATER Fester stands by the tall. DRAWING ROOM . she now wears a plain. Abigail steps forward. and her hair is in braided coils. He seems immobile. baronial fireplace where an enormous fire burns. Gomez breaks the stalemate. It seems a miracle. dowdy suit.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . She now speaks in a German/Austrian accent. a pair of shining black ferret eyes. Fester! Gomez! Gomez throws open his arms. (CONTINUED)
. Gomez and Fester stare at each other. The exact resemblance is shocking.SAME TIME
29. 40 FESTER GOMEZ Gomez and MARGARET GRANNY MORTICIA
INT. Pinder-Schloss.11/20/90 39 INT. 40 ABIGAIL I am Dr. Morticia looks to Gomez for confirmation. He smothers Fester in an embrace. Steam rises off his wet greatcoat. Gut evenink. There on the front steps stands GORDON -. Gordon's head is completely shaved.. and his clothing and pallor are pure Fester. Gomez eagerly pulls open the front door./EXT.
Ze vaves. Can you imagine? Zen .he is. after who knows vat heartache. and also beautiful. Margaret. Ze story ..zey drag him from ze ocean. after all zese years.. I am bringink him home to you! MARGARET That's preposterous. Gomez slaps Fester companionably. ze say. from ze very jaws of oblivion. it vas black like pitch. At long last. studying the exotic decals. beside Fester's steamer trunk.it is most amazink.. your bruzzer! Boom! Zey gif him to me.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . at Human Services. Tully nudges her in the ribs to shut up. MARGARET Isn't that the most ridiculous thing you've ever heard? TULLY (through gritted teeth) Blossom.1/15/91 40 CONTINUED:
30. and a complete psychological profile. tangled in ze tuna net! It vas just last month. ABIGAIL How did zis happen? How did it come to be.. low unt beholdt. touched. MARGARET But don't you think that's absurd? Honey. after ze naked unt ze dead. 40
Pugsley stands nearby. GOMEZ It certainly is. so many tests.. during ze Hurricane Helga. my oh my go tell it on ze mountaintop . He vas found in Miami. Ze sky.. and I am bringink him.. zay vere valls of doom. ze Florida Department of Fish unt ze Game. I'm tellink you! Zere are tests. Fester hates being (CONTINUED) TULLY TULLY
but I have to get back. GOMEZ (fondly) Devil's Island. Tully hands Margaret the fingertrap to distract her. demonstrates the fingertrap. TULLY Darling. A week? GOMEZ Don't be ridiculous! You're home! MORTICIA
FESTER Sorry. I've got a lot of things cooking in the Bermuda Triangle. hey . Gomez. at least. for a week. TULLY Back to share your joys.. (CONTINUED)
. how does this work again? MARGARET An infant would understand. The Bermuda Triangle...well. back to share .home at long last.. Margaret. 40
GOMEZ And now you're back.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .everything! MARGARET Well. MORTICIA (dreamy) The Black Hole of Calcutta. Her fingers are instantly stuck again. back to share your sorrows.. MORTICIA (aglow with romance) Oh... MORTICIA Fester Addams .11/12/90 40 CONTINUED: (2)
31. I just don't know.. FESTER Well. disgusted with Tully.
no. She is instinctively SUSPICIOUS of this new Fester. To be checkink on Fester's adjustment. Zere is zo much you do not understandt.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . WEDNESDAY Nobody gets out of the Bermuda Triangle. Everyone knows that. 40
GOMEZ (to the group) Excuse us. you can bet. Not even for a vacation. his arm inside up to the shoulder. But I vill be back. Cool. Ze human spirit . ABIGAIL (to Wednesday) Oh. At the steamer trunk. will you be staying too? ABIGAIL No. His fingers are crushed in a rusty.11/20/90 40 CONTINUED: (3)
32. then pulls out his hand. Pugsley is disintegrating the lock with a beakerful of acid and an eyedropper.it is . The acid has eaten away the lock on Fester's trunk. (CONTINUED) PUGSLEY
. ferocious-looking BEAR TRAP. MORTICIA Second honeymoon. I really must be goink. He fishes among the contents. Pinder-Schloss. my little vun. MORTICIA (to Abigail) Dr. Pugsley opens the trunk a crack. Wednesday alone stands apart in her mournful fashion. Something snaps.a hard tink to kill. He grins.
FESTER'S ROOM .. BEING HELD BY THEIR FATHER. As she speaks..12/29/90 40 CONTINUED: (4)
33. FATHER STANDS BESIDE A CRUDE WOODEN SIGN WITH "CAMP CUSTER" BRANDED INTO IT. Let me.. Fester.. EACH IN A DOGGY CARRYING CAGE. hard. dynamite.LATER Morticia has shown Fester to his room. GOMEZ AND FESTER AS BOYS. PROUDLY SITTING ON THE LAP OF A BOUND-AND-GAGGED SANTA CLAUS. Abigail pinches Wednesday's cheek. 41 42 OMITTED INT. MORTICIA A crowbar.. the camera lingers on the following photographs atop the bureau: A PICTURE OF FESTER AND GOMEZ AS YOUNG BOYS. FESTER (alarmed at what she might find) No. Morticia begins removing Fester's burglary equipment from the trunk. (CONTINUED) Wednesday CUT TO: 41 42
. cyanide. She exits. continues to stare at Fester... Imprinted below the FACE OF THE BEAUTIFUL GIRL ON THE LEFT is the name FLORA. that's all right. MORTICIA Unpacking . below the BEAUTIFUL GIRL ON THE RIGHT is FAUNA.. Morticia begins to open Fester's trunk and go through it. Fester examines two photographs in a handtooled leather frame on the bureau... As if we'd run out...you must be exhausted.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (she turns to go) Good night. 40
GRANNY (agreeing) Even with a chainsaw. you don't have to. um...
S. WEDNESDAY (O. taking in the piles of odd objects and memorabilia. The camera PULLS BACK. FESTER It's reserved? For what? For Skipper. staring at Fester. staring back at him. (CONTINUED) WEDNESDAY
. and fairly wide. appears. This case is about three feet high. ANGLE on the second.
33A. the camera PANS around the room. Frustrated. CUT TO: A43 INT. He sees . he looks out again -.THE ADDAMS FAMILY ..A FEW MINUTES LATER The TRAP DOOR RISES in the attic floor. are several STUFFED VAMPIRE BATS. who stands by the empty case. Fester is startled.. but tries to act calm. It is empty.) It's reserved. In this case there
ANGLE on the third. WEDNESDAY -in her doorway across the hallway.12/29/90 42 CONTINUED: It's clear that they are identical twins. LARGER CASE.. pinned in place. The CLOCK in the hall STRIKES MIDNIGHT. Wednesday stands near the trap door. ATTIC . 42
It's time to go to work. He opens the door to his room and peeks out.. ANGLE on the FIRST CASE. STILL LARGER CASE. As he does. The case contains a set of mounted BUTTERFLIES. Fester approaches a set of GLASS CASES.Wednesday's door is shut. He looks both ways. He whips back into his room. FESTER Nosy little brat. Fester's head A43
Fester climbs into the attic.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY .12/29/90 A43 CONTINUED: For Skipper? FESTER Is he.
. Skipper isn't a dog. FESTER (gruffly) Of course not. a dog? That
WEDNESDAY No. would be cruel.. I'm sorry..
Who's there? He sees .. THE WINDOW EXPLODES OPEN -The wet wind snuffs the candelabra light. using it to relight the rest of the candles.
34. CLOSEUP .. The door slams. getting dreamy. CUT TO: B43 INT.. then he hears the creak of his door opening. (CONTINUED) A SINISTER HAND WITH WRIGGLING FESTER
. A cloud of dust billows around him. FESTER'S ROOM . As the room fills with candlelight Fester sees . THERE'S A VAGUE FLICKERING FROM ONE OF THE CANDLES. then LIGHTNING ILLUMINATES A HAND GRIPPING THE BEDSPREAD. on the floor. Getting comfortable. Fester stares at Wednesday.FESTER'S EYES. he lies down. which is next to the bed. Veins in his forehead bulge. FINGERS. sinking into the mattress so deeply that he's almost buried alive. Who knows what terrors they've seen? But now they lose their coldness..THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. Yawning.A FEW MINUTES LATER Fester runs back into his room and shuts the door. FESTER -goes for the knife he keeps in his boot. A43
He sits on the edge of the bed. A SHADOW -thrown huge on the wall. he burrows deeper.. Fester seizes it and nurses the flame. Wednesday has obviously unnerved him.12/29/90 A43 CONTINUED: (2) WEDNESDAY He's a bully. There's only the sound of Fester's animal panting. He backs away from her.
her head resting dreamily on his shoulder.
MORTICIA (smiling) He's home. Instantly awake. listening. goosebumps.SAME TIME Gomez and Morticia snuggle in bed in the afterglow of their celebration. MORTICIA AND GOMEZ'S BEDROOM . he presses the blade against his throat. violently throwing Thing off. Gomez enjoying a post-coital cigar.
35. Fester leaps from the bed. GOMEZ My own dear brother. jumps Gomez. It can only I've got 43
Fester SCREAMS again. He shakes his leg. (CONTINUED) 44
. GOMEZ Screams in the night. Pulling the knife from his boot. They gaze together out into the torrential downpour as Fester continues to scream.2/13/91 B43 CONTINUED: THING -sitting on one of his legs. and pins him to the floor. MORTICIA (flirtatiously) I know. They both smile. B43
Fester jumps with fear. mean one thing. watching him sleep. He SCREAMS. Fester's SCREAM is heard distinctly from down the hall. CUT TO: 43 INT. CUT TO: 44 INT. certain that Gomez is about to attack him. FESTER'S ROOM . pushing against the backboard. They wait.MORNING Obviously moved. Thing snoozes on Fester's chest like a kitty cat. Gomez gently lifts him and tucks him into the pocket of his smoking jacket.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Gomez stands in Fester's room.
11/28/90 44 CONTINUED: GOMEZ (very cheerful) Breakfast?
35A. it's good to have you back! Let's go! He leads the way out. then springs to his feet. and turns. He pauses.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GOMEZ Damn. 44
Gomez JUDO-FLIPS Fester off his chest.
GOMEZ Two out of three? CUT TO:
Throughout. Morticia has seated Fester between Gomez and herself. WEDNESDAY May I have the salt? MORTICIA What do we say? WEDNESDAY (dutifully) Now. FESTER (staring at the food on his plate) What is this? MORTICIA Mama's specialite' de la maison. GRANNY Start with the eyes. The top is a gigantic grill where innards and various unidentifiable somethings sizzle.LATER
36. We had to chain you to the bedposts. Granny works at a stove that's a coal burning monstrosity. The walls sweat and smoke crawls along the floor. GOMEZ Really? Who knew the Bermuda Triangle could change a man so much? You used to toss and turn all night. obviously saved for honored guests. MORTICIA (to Fester) Sleep well? FESTER Like the dead.1/15/91 A45 INT. A45
The family eats breakfast in the subterranean kitchen. THE ADDAMS KITCHEN . Flames belch out of the oven. Morticia smiles approvingly and passes Wednesday the salt. WEDNESDAY (gazes levelly at Fester) It doesn't make sense. (CONTINUED)
. Only Pugsley is missing.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Granny flips these offals onto family members' plates. Lurch assists her. She's given him an elaborate pewter place setting with a dragon motif.
Remember Camp Custer? GOMEZ (aglow) For pre-teen offenders? (CONTINUED)
. FESTER (condescendingly to Wednesday) The Bermuda Triangle is such a large and mysterious place. Fester turns his back on Wednesday and addresses Gomez. She studies it. MORTICIA She certainly would. Death at sea . You'd be surprised at all the things you don't know. FESTER Being in my old room sure brings back memories. He already feels cornered.1/15/91 A45 CONTINUED:
36A.she's hooked.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . WEDNESDAY Ask me anything. Wednesday adores the Bermuda Triangle. A45
Fester had no idea a simple exchange could be so fraught with pitfalls.
shushing everyone. the CARS COLLIDE.. keeping her eyes on Fester. no. Just then. Gomez and Fester laugh mischievously.no wandering today.. Gomez holds up a finger. A45
Pugsley runs into the room. old man . CUT TO: B45 45 OMITTED INT. Don't be shy.. dragging a freshly-stolen STOP SIGN. Today we're going straight to the vault.1/15/91 A45 CONTINUED: FESTER And I was thinking about Christmas. (CONTINUED) B45 45 GRANNY
. GOMEZ Waiting for Santa to come down the chimney. still on its pole. FESTER (guessing) Hanging our stockings. no. jabs her ladle into the tureen. remembering.. the (O. FESTER Aren't memories precious? I'd like to spend today wandering through the house.
37.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .) SCREECHING SOUND OF CARS heading for a collision is heard. GOMEZ No... GRANNY Who wants seconds? Something in Granny's soup tureen YELPS.LATER Gomez and Fester are in front of the bookcase THAT'S THE ENTRANCE TO THE VAULT. Everyone beams. Sorry. Granny. GOMEZ Building a fire. There is a satisfying crunch of metal. DEN .S. Finally.
and he and Fester DROP OUT OF VIEW. Over his head hang HUNDREDS OF RUSTY As he does so. Gomez reaches a SMALL CIRCULAR ROOM. eagerly follows Gomez inside.MOMENTS LATER Gomez runs gleefully down a flight of STEPS. (CONTINUED)
. GOMEZ Tag .SECONDS LATER Gomez and Fester are SLIDING DOWN A TWISTING SLIDE. Fester on the shoulder. 45
Gomez reaches for a book. CHAINS. while Fester is wobbly. CUT TO: 47 INT. Fester FESTER
CUT TO: 46 A47 OMITTED INT.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . THE BOOKCASE SWINGS OPEN. "Greed.we're children again.11/20/90 45 CONTINUED:
38. Gomez is gleeful. BENEATH THE SECRET CHAMBER . GOMEZ I feel like . Fester is right there with him. through a trap door. B47 C47 OMITTED INT.you're it!
Gomez pulls the chain." They share a smile. THE SECRET CHAMBER . leading to the underground river. Gomez is all high spirits. his hand on Gomez's hand as he goes to pull out the old volume. Gomez looks up. Fester is petrified. UNDERGROUND RIVER 47 B47 C47
The slide deposits Gomez and Fester on a dock. he punches 46 A47
Gomez grabs one of the chains. Fester reads the title.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 2/7/91 47 CONTINUED: GOMEZ (inhaling deeply, as if in a meadow) Smell that air, Fester! Fester inhales dutifully. Like a tomb! He gags.
GOMEZ Gomez strides to the end of the dock. Waiting there is a VENETIAN GONDOLA, rundown but still magnificent. Gomez does a running leap to board the gondola. He puts on a straw gondolier's hat and calls out to Fester... GOMEZ Tutti a bordo, fratello mio! (gesturing to the water) The sea - your second home. Fester boards the gondola gingerly, looking queasy. Ship ahoy... Gomez winds an old Victrola as he sorts through a pile of 78's. He puts the needle down on a record and begins to sing along in a bellowing basso profundo. He sets sail, poling down the UNDERGROUND RIVER. CUT TO: A48 and 48 A49 OMITTED A48 and 48 A49 FESTER
INT. ATTIC - SAME TIME Wednesday and Pugsley are exploring the attic, investigating various items. PUGSLEY Do you think that's really Uncle Fester? WEDNESDAY Father says so, but I think Mother isn't sure. Wednesday stands in front of an ELECTRIC CHAIR. (CONTINUED)
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 1/7/91 A49 CONTINUED: WEDNESDAY Pugsley, sit in the chair. Why? WEDNESDAY So we can play a game. PUGSLEY (climbing into the chair) What game? WEDNESDAY It's called... (she thinks) "Is there a God?" CUT TO: 49 INT. ENTRANCE TO THE VAULT - SAME TIME PUGSLEY
Still singing, Gomez poles toward A MASSIVE METAL DOOR, SIX FEET ACROSS AND TEN FEET HIGH, set right into the ROCK OF THE GROTTO. Gomez docks at the narrow ledge in front of the door. Gomez leaps onto the ledge and Fester follows. He's getting excited now, wondering what treasures exist behind this door. The vault... Gomez goes to work on the oversized combination lock. (CONTINUED) FESTER
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/28/90 49 CONTINUED: GOMEZ (knowingly, to Fester) Two to the right, ten to the left, and then around to...? FESTER (guessing) Five? GOMEZ (surprised) Eleven. Two, ten, eleven. fingers, toes.
41 & 41A. 49
Fester licks his lips in anticipation. GOMEZ So many years... FESTER Long, barren years... GOMEZ Years that we wasted... FESTER Years we'll bring back... GOMEZ We enter together - a triumphant return! FESTER We enter as brothers - we enter... GOMEZ As one! Gomez slowly opens the door, revealing... 50 51 OMITTED INT. VAULT - SAME TIME 50 51
Rather than a treasure trove, it looks like A DECREPIT NINETEENTH CENTURY MEN'S CLUB -- torn red leather chairs and settees, an assortment of TORTURE DEVICES and HUNTING TROPHIES. An elaborate bar with a cracked mirror. Welcome back! FESTER (very disappointed) Thanks. (CONTINUED) GOMEZ
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 11/28/90 51 CONTINUED: GOMEZ Our secret place. Sanctus sanctorum. If these walls could talk, eh, old man? FESTER (looking around, unsure) What... what would they say? GOMEZ (assumes that Fester is joking) You tell me. You go first. GOMEZ (gesturing to Fester, out of respect) Senior partner... FESTER (desperately) Junior spaceman. GOMEZ First a brandy! (indicating the bar) Do the honors. (opening a large wooden box) I've got a real treat in store. FESTER (grumbling to himself, as he chooses a bottle from the bar) Where is it, you ridiculous imbecile... FESTER
There are a half-dozen excellent brandies on the wellstocked shelf. Fester pockets a silver jigger, then chooses a bottle AND THE BAR SPINS AROUND with Fester, revealing... THE INTERIOR TREASURE ROOM -A STONE CAVERN stacked high with ADDAMS TREASURE -- gold, jewels, bizarre but priceless statuary from around the world. Fester gets one slack-jawed glimpse and THE BAR SPINS AGAIN, depositing him back in the OUTER ROOM. (CONTINUED)
. and the lights on the chair go on. CUT TO: 53 INT. WEDNESDAY It has to warm up. 51
Gomez has been too busy digging through the box to have noticed Fester's carousel ride. Showtime! And. OUTER TREASURE ROOM . CUT TO: 52 A53 B53 OMITTED OMITTED INT. The entire mechanism hums and vibrates. PUGSLEY (after a beat) I knew that. PUGSLEY But if he's not Uncle Fester.SAME TIME Wednesday is strapping Pugsley's arms and legs into the electric chair.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . ATTIC . Why? WEDNESDAY So it can kill you.his arms overflowing with FILM CANS. Fester pours himself a stiff drink and replaces the bottle on the shelf. with shaking hands. They smoke cigars and drink brandy from extra-large snifters.1/7/91 51 CONTINUED: (2)
43. Wednesday pushes a button. He and Fester sit in sideby-side armchairs with the stuffing coming out. He turns -. then who is he? WEDNESDAY Somebody else.SAME TIME 53 PUGSLEY 52 A53 B53 GOMEZ
Gomez is running home movies.
now in their teens. clearly another person. finally focussing on a head and shoulders shot of Gomez and Fester. (CONTINUED)
... few yards away. Mother insisted.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GOMEZ Here! The debutante ball! that fateful night? Remember A
FESTER (guessing) Of course.1/7/91 53 CONTINUED: ON THE HOME-MOVIE SCREEN --
43A. sneak around a corner toward a swimming pool crowded with kids. old man. your first cigar. GOMEZ What? Come on. The film JUMP CUTS to: A hand-held 16mm camera weaves its way through a group of ball-goers. shark fins strapped to their backs. The Addams boys look both sinister and dashing in their tuxedos and Gomez is already smoking his trademark cigar. a single hand struggles out of the sand. 53
The young Gomez and Fester. The film then JUMP CUTS to: Young Gomez has buried young Fester in the sand at the beach. Only Fester's head appears from beneath a mound.. I've smoked since I was five..
I admit that now. the TWINS from the pictures on Fester's bureau -. out of foolish pride. I wooed them. GOMEZ (playfully) Say it! Say the password! (CONTINUED) FESTER
.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Fester gasps for breath. insanely jealous. Gomez? Gomez sighs. FESTER (covering his tracks) Flora and Fauna. not to the Bermuda Triangle. very gracious) Water under the bridge. Yet. eh. But I never meant to drive you off. Gomez turns the hug into a painful headlock. Quite the pair. Gomez holds out his arms.BEAUTIFUL RED-HEADS with dementia in their eyes. Forgotten. dead or alive. GOMEZ Can you ever forgive me? What? GOMEZ I didn't love them. Fester endures the hug. FESTER (holding up a hand. both. Throughout the twins are seen only from the waist up. You were so dashing. you could have any woman you wanted. and then becomes extremely dramatic.11/28/90 53 CONTINUED: ON THE SCREEN --
the boys flank their dates. I was jealous. Forgiven.
. please.. I. Gomez.. you almost killed me. GOMEZ (joyously) Demented freak! CUT TO: 54 and 55 A56 OMITTED 54 and 55 A56 Gomez
INT.. stop fooling. perplexed...... I'm choking. lights up.1/7/91 53 CONTINUED: (2)
45.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. you demented freak! Fester has accidentally hit on the password. ATTIC . he flings open his arms.. 53
FESTER (choking) The password? I.. we were children. GOMEZ (shocked) Did you say. Pugsley now has the chair's helmet on as well.. still gasping) That was a long time ago. FESTER (turning blue) Please. GOMEZ (continuing to choke him) Come on. GOMEZ You forgot our secret password? The word we used one hundred times a day? Our special private name for each other? FESTER (rubbing his neck... Wednesday is about to throw the huge master SWITCH. demented freak? FESTER Yes.. (CONTINUED)
.. you demented freak.SAME TIME The electric chair is really humming. releases Fester.. you remember.
MORTICIA (a beat) Oh.. Wednesday is very solemn. WEDNESDAY Do
45A.. as we hear the sound of high voltage sizzling Pugsley. Morticia pretends to be stern. CUT TO: MORTICIA
. PUGSLEY (sighing) Then just do it. She smiles and flips the switch. WEDNESDAY (pleading) Mother.what are you doing? Morticia climbs up into the attic.. ANGLE on Wednesday's face. WEDNESDAY I'm going to electrocute him. PUGSLEY (pleading) Please. MORTICIA Children . you have a last request? PUGSLEY Can I have ice cream? No.. Pinder-Schloss tell a lie? WEDNESDAY Because she wants something. I said no.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . MORTICIA But we're late for the charity auction. all right.. her usual impassive self. A56
As Wednesday is about to throw the switch.1/7/91 A56 CONTINUED: PUGSLEY But why would Dr. Morticia's head appears from the trap door.. then a smile breaks through.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY . jewels glittering. BAYSHORE WOMEN'S CLUB .U. then
.LATER C.1/7/91 56 INT. on the FINGERTRAP.
46. Gomez and Morticia sit with their family. around. fingers still ensnared in the ancient finger trap. She holds her hands aloft. He reads into the mike from the catalogue: JUDGE WOMACK .12/3/90 56 CONTINUED: MARGARET ALFORD. She wears the same disheveled dress.
JUDGE WOMACK I open the bidding at five thousand dollars. On the stage beside her. Bah! GOMEZ Not enough!
He thrusts up his arm. JUDGE WOMACK acts as the event's auctioneer. standing on the auction block as if she were the item up for auction. confused. They look
REACTION SHOTS of various people in the crowd.. Margaret looks (CONTINUED)
. and fifteen emerald chips. encrusted with rubies. She beams. JUDGE WOMACK Remember. the money we raise goes to help those less fortunate. 56
blushes.. GOMEZ Twenty thousand! MORTICIA For the elderly and the insane -(gazing fondly at Granny) They've earned it. over half our proceeds will benefit the elderly and the mentally disabled. It was donated by Morticia and Gomez Addams. staring at the Addams family in horror and disbelief. Next to him. unable to disguise its sleeped-in look. JUDGE WOMACK is surprised at the bid. All the Addamses look at Granny proudly.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . modestly. This year.
He has a PEASHOOTER in his mouth.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . MARGARET (to Judge Womack) What are they doing? Judge Womack shushes her. MARGARET pesters the Judge Womack. and holds out her hand. Fester takes Morticia's opera glasses and peers appraisingly at the glittering finger trap... He smiles greedily. JUDGE WOMACK Twenty-five -MORTICIA bashfully raises her hand. aimed at Judge Womack. Judge Womack gives her a look that says shut up. ANGLE on Wednesday. Wednesday sheepishly hands Granny the peashooter. GOMEZ raises his hand. aimed at Judge Womack. (to Gomez) Mon sauvage. Wednesday glares at her brother. Granny gives her a stern look.. He sheepishly passes her the peashooter. MORTICIA Thirty. ANGLE on Pugsley. (CONTINUED)
.. She now has the PEASHOOTER in her mouth.2/19/91 56 CONTINUED: (2)
MARGARET What are they doing? It's theirs... JUDGE WOMACK I have twenty -GOMEZ (interrupts) Twenty-five! (to Morticia) Cara mia.
. Judge Womack hammers his gavel. Fifty! Morticia has raised her arm. 56
GOMEZ Thirty-five! (to Morticia) Eres divina! MARGARET is increasingly agitated. GOMEZ It's yours.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . my ecstacy.. Gomez utters a little cry of wild passion. (CONTINUED) MORTICIA
... She lowers it. MARGARET (to Judge Womack) But I don't understand.. amore mio.. JUDGE WOMACK I have fifty thousand dollars. He does so. THE FLABBERGASTED JUDGE WOMACK repeats breathlessly. MORTICIA You spoil me. passionately. MORTICIA Your turn.. MORTICIA raises her hand. but keeps it extended for Gomez to kiss. as Margaret's jaw drops. mon amour.2/19/91 56 CONTINUED: (3)
CUT TO: 57 58 OMITTED INT. and grabs his neck. He YELPS. CUT TO: A59 EXT. frowns at Fester. then leans forward from his place on the other side of Morticia and. MORTICIA Isn't it too enchanting? Fester pulls his fingers.DUSK CLOSEUP ON THE FINGER TRAP -The jewels glinting in the passing lights. Of course. admires it also. He stares at it. MORTICIA There's a trick to it.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . 56
JUDGE WOMACK Sold to Morticia Addams for fifty thousand dollars! Judge Womack shakes his head. beside him. 57 58
Gomez shares a look with Wednesday. FESTER How do you take it off? Morticia releases it for him. a projectile HITS HIS NECK. with the peashooter in her mouth.2/19/91 56 CONTINUED: (4)
48. trying to free them. ANGLE on Granny. She and the children share a conspiratorial smile.NIGHT Several windows are lit. ADDAMS MANSION . Morticia. almost as if he were hypnotized. in disgust. eyebrows knitted. As he does so. FESTER has his fingers TRAPPED in it. DUESENBERG . she has clearly just scored the hit on Judge Womack. CUT TO: A59
then leans forward from his place on the other side of Morticia and. CUT TO:
. Fester pulls his fingers. DUESENBERG . Of course.2/7/91 ALTERNATE SCENE 58.
GOMEZ It's for charity. almost
MORTICIA Gomez.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . bought the fingertrap.. eyebrows knitted. frowns at Fester.DUSK CLOSEUP ON THE FINGER TRAP -The jewels glinting in the passing lights.
He stares at it.
Gomez shares a look with Wednesday. trying to free them. FESTER has his fingers TRAPPED in it. 58 INT. as if hypnotized.
48A.. And it belongs in the family. MORTICIA There's a trick to it. you shouldn't have. FESTER How do you take it off? Morticia releases it for him.
Thing gallops into view around one of the mountains. DINING ROOM . Gomez rants to Thing. He reaches into the drawer for the nitro-glycerine and comes up with the photo of the young Fester and Gomez being brought home from Camp Custer by the U.P.BEDTIME Preparing to go to the vault. the model trains race toward one another. DINING ROOM . man. then tosses it aside as if touching it burned him. CUT TO: 60 A61 OMITTED INT.S. slips his safe-cracking tools into the bandoliers strapped across his chest. toward the inevitable. FESTER'S ROOM .THE ADDAMS FAMILY . He stares at the picture. and proceeds with his preparations. then paces back and forth in front of Gomez's transformers. The LIONEL TRAIN races through the remains of a strip mined mountain terrace.LATER
49. GOMEZ (ranting to Thing) 'How do you take it off?' That's absurd! That finger trap was a party favor at his tenth birthday! Gomez demonically starts his SECOND TRAIN. CUT TO: 61 INT. Fester. He picks up the nitro.11/20/90 59 INT.SAME TIME Puffing black smoke. His emotions churning like the locomotive wheels. setting it on a sure collision course with the first. (CONTINUED) 61 60 A61
Gomez's elaborate MODEL TRAIN LAYOUT fills the room. with cool professionalism.
a TRAIN WHISTLE pierces the night.
WEDNESDAY Where are they? MORTICIA At a birthday party.1/15/91 61 CONTINUED:
50. and the kitchen table shakes. KITCHEN . The sound of Gomez's trains has begun to RESOUND throughout the house. sit beside her. reading cookbooks. CUT TO: A62 INT. See the fire trucks? From Gomez's train room. Wednesday and Pugsley. PUGSLEY'S ROOM . She turns to the second book. PUGSLEY (pointing at a picture) Is that Father. she has a family photo album on her lap.SAME TIME 62
Morticia is seated on the bed. Granny looks up from her reading. PUGSLEY Father's playing with his trains. As Granny reads. we hear a voice howl "ALL ABOARD!". we see the title The Joy of Cooking. looking at the album. MORTICIA (worried) Oh.Gray's Anatomy. in pajamas.
Yes. There is a stack of books on the table. when he was little? MORTICIA (also pointing) And that's Uncle Fester.and he slept so well! Thing paces furiously. we see the title . and the password. Two books are propped up. and my cigar . no. 61
GOMEZ He wore that finger trap for two years! Mother had to teach him how to eat with his feet! And the combination. followed by another WHISTLE BLAST.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (CONTINUED)
. CUT TO: 62 INT.SAME TIME A62
Granny sits at the kitchen table. Granny reads from the first book.
looking troubled. heading for each other. CUT TO: 64 INT.SAME TIME Fester is at the INTERIOR WALL.SAME TIME The model trains WHISTLE AT FULL BLAST.. THE COUNTLESS CHAINS-(CONTINUED) A65 64 63
.11/20/90 62 CONTINUED: WEDNESDAY He must be upset. He looks above and there hang.. CUT TO: 63 INT. ADDAMS LIBRARY . CUT TO: A65 INT.SAME TIME Lurch is sitting up in his too-small bed. 62
Grimly determined. The CHUG of the trains now SHAKES the entire house. He passes Gomez still raving..SAME TIME
50A.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . shrieking in warning as they round Dead Man's Curve. seeing if that will make it turn. FROM INSIDE ONE OF THE TRAINS -A LITTLE PASSENGER LOOKS OUT. Fester removes the well-worn copy of "Greed" from the shelf and the secret panel opens. wearing his nightshirt and cap.. CUT TO: A63 INT. and he pricks his finger. almost to the boiling point. He pushes against it. He's headed for the vault. He sucks on his finger. Lurch's needle slips from the noise. MORTICIA It's always a bad sign -. He is sewing a button on a shirt -a gentle giant. GOMEZ These thoughts! I'm in torment! What is truth? What is fiction? Thing pounds the table in frustration. DINING ROOM .hobbies. THE SECRET CHAMBER . LURCH'S BEDROOM . Then he remembers.
. WHISTLING CACOPHONY. pull?
51. A SHRILL BLAST is heard. toward a NARROW GAP IN WHAT MAY OR MAY NOT BE A CEILING.11/28/90 A65 CONTINUED: each with a rusted metal grip on the end. WEDNESDAY I know what he's worried about. The CHAIN YANKS BACK. Only Morticia sees this. darling. (trying to hide her anxiety) But let's get to bed. MORTICIA So do I. ANOTHER BLAST. now a CHUGGING. A65 Which chain to
From far above in the house. MORTICIA (very concerned) Dead Man's Curve.. B65
. the chain rockets him. With a screech of pulleys and geers. Fester hears the distant train whistle. hanging on for dear life. CUT TO: PUGSLEY I'm sorry. have you brushed your teeth and washed behind your ears? I did...THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. PUGSLEY (listening) He's using the diesel. CUT TO: B65 INT.SAME TIME Morticia and the children are listening to the sounds of the trains.. PUGSLEY'S ROOM . pulling Fester straight upwards. WEDNESDAY Is that man really Uncle Fester? Uncle Fester WHOOSHES through the floor-to-cealing piranha tank. He randomly yanks one of the chains. Fester disappears into the gap. Now. WEDNESDAY The covered bridge. Another BLAST.
DINING ROOM . 65
66 A67 B67 C67 67 and 68 69 & 70 71 72
.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GOMEZ (falling to his knees) Spirits above me .11/20/90 65 INT.give me a sign! Shall I be joyous? Or shall I be damned? The TRAINS COLLIDE! Metal rends. CUT TO: 66 A67 B67 C67 67 and 68 69 & 70 71 72 OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED OMITTED
52. & 53. Smoke and flames.SAME TIME The TRAIN CRASH is imminent.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 2/15/91 73 EXT. YARD - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT A COAL CHUTE set in the side of the house DROPS open depositing the soaked, disoriented Fester AT THE FEET OF MORTICIA
Silhouetted by the full moon, she stands regally above him, waiting for him, her velvet cloak covering her night clothes. MORTICIA (pointedly) Sleepless night? Walk with me, Fester. She turns and glides away. follow. Fester has no choice but to CUT TO: 74 EXT. BACK OF HOUSE/THE CEMETERY - MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT Morticia leads Fester into the chill of the cemetery. They follow a STONES of the everywhere -in their open path that winds among the ELABORATE TOMBAddams dead. Gomez's golfballs are on the ground, in statues' upturned hands, mouths. 74
As they pass them, Morticia points out various monuments. The marble statues look so real they could be alive. MORTICIA Aunt Laborgia - executed by a firing squad. Cousin Fledge - torn limb from limb by four wild horses. And darling Uncle Eimar... Uncle Eimar is a hooded executioner with an upraised ax. There is an UNEARTHLY MOAN, seeming to come from the tomb. MORTICIA Buried alive. Psychopaths, fiends, mad-dog killers - roots, Fester. Pioneers. Lest we forget. Among the statuary is a MARBLE VULTURE, posed with the dignity of an eagle on a flagpole, but the flagpole is actually a replica of Fester's bald head. (CONTINUED)
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 3/18/91 74 CONTINUED: MORTICIA Your beloved Muerto. After you left, he was simply... a different vulture. He wouldn't circle. He wouldn't peck. That's how much you mean to this family.
They reach the MAUSOLEUM where MOTHER AND FATHER ADDAMS lie. It stands on a knoll, the HIGHEST POINT IN THE CEMETERY. Poison ivy covers the dilapidated Greco-Roman tomb. Mother and Father Addams have been depicted as a god and a goddess, charioteers driving their steeds to the netherworld. Father Addams smokes the ubiquitous Addams cigar. Morticia gazes up at the likenesses of Mother and Father Addams. But Fester averts his eyes -- the faces seem to be STARING DIRECTLY AT HIM. MORTICIA Mother and Father Addams... Imagine what we owe them. Oh, Fester, how I wish the children could have known them better. But tell that to an angry mob. She turns to trace the FAMILY CREST, carved into the mausoleum. THE TOP OF THE CREST IS A VULTURE. THE BACKGROUND IS COMPOSED OF THREE LION'S HEADS -- IN ONE PANEL, A HUNTSMAN HOLDS OPEN THE LION'S HEAD; IN ANOTHER PANEL, THE LION HAS SWALLOWED HIM UP TO HIS TORSO; IN THE LAST PANEL, THE LION HAS SWALLOWED THE HUNTSMAN COMPLETELY BUT FOR ONE DANGLING FOOT. ON A BANNER AT THE BOTTOM IS THE FAMILY MOTTO IN LATIN. MORTICIA Three lions rampant. The vulture ascendant. And our credo "Sic gorgiamus allos subjectatos nunc." "We gladly feast on those who would subdue us." (reflective) Not just pretty words. As an Addams, you understand completely, don't you? She stares levelly at him. FESTER As an Addams, yes, I do. (CONTINUED)
THE ADDAMS FAMILY - 1/15/91 74 CONTINUED: (2)
MORTICIA (after another beat) Good night, Fester. She heads toward the house. She turns.
MORTICIA Rest in peace. CUT TO: 75 INT. HALLWAY - EARLY MORNING Fester is on the phone hunched over, his eyes darting to make sure no one overhears. FESTER (into phone) They're on to me, Mother! I'm almost sure!... Of course, I've tried, I still can't find it... you've got to get over here. Wednesday is bound and gagged on a chair in the background. Pugsley runs up to Fester with two bottles of poison. Fester, vaguely impatient, points to one. Pugsley nods and runs off. FESTER (into phone) ... Don't say that... (tenderly) ... You know that I do... CUT TO: A76 B76 OMITTED INT. ADDAMS KITCHEN - A FEW MINUTES LATER Granny and Lurch are doing the dishes; Granny rinses and Lurch dries. Lurch then hands each dish to Thing, who stacks them. Morticia sits at the kitchen table, sipping a cup of tea. Wednesday stands before Morticia, holding up a large, nasty-looking carving knife. MORTICIA (to Wednesday) Is that for your brother? Wednesday nods. (CONTINUED) A76 B76 75
56A. GRANNY (still looking) Turned into a toad or reptile. B76
Morticia hands Wednesday a much larger. the children are beside themselves .. let's look it up... MORTICIA (eagerly) What does it say? (CONTINUED) MORTICIA MORTICIA
. GRANNY Troubled husbands. GRANNY Well... no.. No. in husbands. MORTICIA Is there an index? GRANNY Here it is .THE ADDAMS FAMILY . ragged leatherbound book.. adultery.this can't go on. MORTICIA (worried) His trains are everywhere.1/15/91 B76 CONTINUED: MORTICIA (taking the knife) I don't think so.suspicion and anxiety. even nastierlooking knife. troubled husbands. Mama. How can I help him? Tell me. money troubles.. She starts thumbing through the pages. GRANNY (still looking) Financial. Granny wipes her hands and opens a large. Oh. Wednesday takes the knife and exits.
kneading his hands. What? ABIGAIL (smiling) I'm a doctor. CUT TO: C76 INT. very upset. I can counsel the troubled family. It's my calling. Leave a headless rooster beneath his pillow. then disdainfully) Milk. ABIGAIL Really? Well.. Ease their distress. Remember. Smear his forehead.. thank God I came over.1/15/91 B76 CONTINUED: GRANNY (reading) Drain all his blood. they all are. Gordon. Lurch growls in agreement. studying various objects with disdain. B76
Fester is sitting on the bed. palms and feet with the tears of a stillborn monkey.SAME TIME
56B. they had some awful fight. Mama. It's barbaric. FESTER They know I'm a fraud! The whole bunch! It's not going to work! Who knows? moron? ABIGAIL Gomez. Add milk. that over-heated
FESTER He's no moron! He's Fester's brother. Really.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . I'm surprised at you. UNCLE FESTER'S BEDROOM . MORTICIA (offended) I can't do that. CUT TO: FESTER
. years ago. I can tell. He's suspicious. replace it with vinegar overnight. (a beat. Abigail is calmly inspecting the room.
(to Abigail) Should Gomez speak with Fester? He's right outside the door. MORTICIA (to Gomez) Dr. ADDAMS DRAWING ROOM . Pinder-Schloss is here to help. 76
56C.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .A FEW MINUTES LATER Gomez and Morticia sit with Abigail.1/15/91 76 INT.
) If I must strike you dead. damned villain! PUGSLEY (O. Pugsley and Wednesday thrust and parry. hack and slice. villain.S. 77 INT. 78 FESTER 77
Pugsley hands him the sword.) O villain. WEDNESDAY (O. She staggers.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .11/6/90 76 CONTINUED: GOMEZ I would speak with Fester.if that were Fester. smiling.. I will! Fester gets a genuine gleam in his eye.S. DUELLING.SAME TIME Fester is marching toward his room..
57. No! No! FESTER Gimme that sword. but that's not! That's an impostor! An impostore! OUTSIDE THE DOOR -Fester hears and STORMS OFF. SWORDS DRAWN. 76
Gomez gets up and stalks toward the door. Bloodshed! He hurries back to the 78 TOP OF THE STAIRCASE and looks down into the FRONT HALL where. GOMEZ -. Wednesday backs Pugsley in. talking louder and louder. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY ..) Who calls me a villain? Breaks my pate across? Plucks off my beard and blows it in my face? WEDNESDAY (O. (CONTINUED)
.S. Pugsley runs Wednesday through. then falls dead.. when he hears.
11/28/90 78 CONTINUED: FESTER Haven't you ever slaughtered anyone? WEDNESDAY (referring to Pugsley. deceitful-ABIGAIL (interrupting) Mr. Gomez sits beside Morticia. WEDNESDAY (agreeing.A faker! A phony! An utter fraud! A base. Addams. The jugular.. 78
Gomez is still raving. They are ABIGAIL I vill
. solemnly) He's only a child. DRAWING ROOM SAME TIME
58. he takes her hand. the sword still to her throat) That's what I said. both fascinated. ABIGAIL Ha! It is too exciting. (pointing the sword at Wednesday's throat) Aim for a major artery..THE ADDAMS FAMILY .is zis familiar? GOMEZ (impressed) Tish?
No. GOMEZ (excited) Is it unpleasant? Deeply... GOMEZ .
Morticia shakes her head. CUT TO: 79 INT. I beleef I am understandink. I vill help. FESTER No excuse. explain. Jais? Ze theory of displacement .
. no? GOMEZ But. GOMEZ (excited) He's backstabbing..you drive him avay. ABIGAIL Ze feelinks in your brain cells.... but you resent him.. He sulks. ze bubble and ze collide. you feel guilty . He's sullen. was an accident. Jais! Your bruzzer returns. Pugsley? ABIGAIL Guilt... hate. GOMEZ Displacement! How bizarre. You luff him. You suspect tinks.. and here. hate.you are feelink ze little black monster.11/28/90 79 CONTINUED: ABIGAIL Your very own bruzzer . I didn't hate my mother. I imagined Fester was the problem. luff. 79
. Go! Off viz you! But zen . Luff.you displace..THE ADDAMS FAMILY . MORTICIA I It GOMEZ GOMEZ
59. ABIGAIL It is a very common psychosis. Like for Mama.. am seeink it every day.... MORTICIA (egging him on) He's furtive. MORTICIA (sincerely) Lucky doctor. I do? MORTICIA (impressed) Of course.
.. MORTICIA Thank you. Dr....11/28/90 79 CONTINUED: (2)
59A. Pinder-Schloss..THE ADDAMS FAMILY . 79
GOMEZ I suspect him. MORTICIA You're unbalanced. MORTICIA (decisively) But that's love! GOMEZ (jumping to his feet) By God. you're right! He is Fester! Gomez is suddenly jubilant again. ABIGAIL I do vat I can. CUT TO:
. GOMEZ And I hate him.
as dirt and debris go flying.SAME TIME
60. I pick things up. Pugsley and Wednesday are snuggled up on either side.3/18/91 80 A81 OMITTED INT. SCARS
FESTER You see. he has clearly just caused the explosion. turning another page) Look. WEDNESDAY (still suspicious) In the Bermuda Triangle? FESTER (ignoring her. ancient BOOK which Fester holds open in his lap.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (CONTINUED) B81 PUGSLEY
. (turning the page) Gangrene. crouched over a detonator. WEDNESDAY'S ROOM .a new chapter! Oh. AND GOUGES. boy! FESTER. C. how do you know so much? FESTER I've been around. Wednesday and Pugsley stand or crouch beside him. The title reads WOUNDS. PUGSLEY Uncle Fester. children? There's a lot to learn. on the book's cover. As the smoke clears ANGLE ON Fester. children . 80 A81
Fester is seated on a leather couch. CUT TO: B81 OMITTED An EXPLOSION fills the screen. They are all looking at an enormous. PUGSLEY AND WEDNESDAY (enthralled) Scabs.U.
CUT TO: 81 INT. FESTER'S ROOM . carports and toolsheds. I've been working with them. WEDNESDAY What about picnics?
60A. correct? FESTER Oh. yes. high above Fester and the children. Abigail stands at the window.3/18/91 B81 CONTINUED: FEATER Three parts dynamite. B81
Fester smiles approvingly.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . ANGLE on the window of FESTER'S ROOM. The children's eyes sparkle.A FEW MINUTES LATER ABIGAIL (in her real voice) Everyone will be at the children's play tonight. It's perfect for small homes. She is not pleased. with a nitroglycerin cap. looking out. It's going to be fun! (CONTINUED) 81
. He reaches into a crate and holds up a HAND GRENADE. as if it were Christmas Day.
the vault.. looking out over the cemetery. Abigail hugs Fester's head to her bosom... I'm sorry! You see what they've driven me to? I've raised a hand to my child.. ROOF . and we'll be far from here.it says... Loving mother. my reason to live.. (she gives his head a twist and becomes quite fierce) Understood? CUT TO: 82 thru 85 86 OMITTED 82 thru 85 86 FESTER The
Then she immediately grabs him and
ABIGAIL Darling. grateful son. ABIGAIL Soon we'll have the money..THE ADDAMS FAMILY . brooding.11/14/90 81 CONTINUED: ABIGAIL (livid) Fun? Is that what we're here FUN?
61.EVENING Fester stands alone on the roof. "Gordon.. You can't go to the play. Gordon. 81
She SLAPS Fester. my treasure? My heartbeat? It beats only for you..... (CONTINUED)
..." FESTER I do hear it. ABIGAIL The house will be deserted! vault will be ours! But. ABIGAIL Can you hear it... I love you. Listen closely .. this is no time for theatre. the kids. hugs him. FESTER But.
Fumes. Displacement .. We can't do that again. GOMEZ The primeval ooze. The swamp bubbles. 86
Beaming. Toxic waste..S. You belong here. Isn't that grand? Is it? Gomez slaps an arm around him. Thing is there with a golf club. old man. You have a beautiful wife. Gomez gazes down into the cemetery. Gomez passes the club to Fester. Unidentified beasties gambol.12/3/90 86 CONTINUED: GOMEZ (O. It's all ours. For you .. In the way? GOMEZ A brother?
FESTER Gomez. things change. You're home. Fester. Thing supplies Gomez with another club.you're back! Those years apart. I'm.) There you are! At last! Gomez joins Fester at the railing. GOMEZ Precisely .life is all fun and games. Quicksand. GOMEZ What a fool I was to doubt you! Dr. What a lovely woman . (gesturing to the swamp) A wasteland. (CONTINUED)
. Gomez holds out his hand. It is morbid and magnificent in the moonlight.so chilly. Stench and decay. But. FESTER
62.it's a common psychosis.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Fester. take care. Patches of fog crawl. Wonderful kids.. FESTER You don't know what you're asking. Fester. GOMEZ Look at it. A dance in a graveyard. in the way. Pinder-Schloss explained everything.
Fore! CUT TO: A87 87 OMITTED INT. CUT TO:
. By-standers eye the strange and wondrous automobile. we hear the sound of a WINDOW BREAKING. OS. As the by-standers gape. Lurch steps out of the car. SCHOOL . and opens the rear door. Uncle Fester.11/28/90 86 CONTINUED: (2)
63. FESTER'S ROOM . And the pus. as if attending the Academy Awards. FESTER I changed my mind! CUT TO: 88 thru 90 A91 OMITTED 88 thru 90 A91 Come to A87 87 GOMEZ
EXT. In the distance.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .NIGHT
The Duesenberg pulls up in front of the school building.LATER Fester sits on the edge of his bed. into the darkness. with great ceremony. and over the cemetery. Wednesday and Pugsley appear in the doorway. the play. the Addams family steps out of the car. FESTER I said I was busy! WEDNESDAY But you said you'd help us. brooding. With the Shakespeare. 86
The two men hit golfballs off the roof. PUGSLEY Come on.
Wednesday's teacher. a young woman.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .SAME TIME B91A MORTICIA SUSAN
At his desk now. Ms. He looks at the clock. but frankly.NIGHT
63A. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM LOBBY . He hurries.2/26/91 B91 INT. Furkins Wednesday's told us so much about you. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM LOBBY . This month our theme is "Our Heroes". As the Addamses enter. B91
The lobby is crowed with the families of students. FESTER'S ROOM . approaches Morticia. Have you ever heard from your husband? CUT TO: B91A INT. hanging next to Harmony's essay) MORTICIA (concerned) Have you spoken to her parents? (CONTINUED)
. Susan is Wednesday's teacher. SUSAN FIRKINS. Mrs. of course.A MINUTE LATER C91
Susan Firkins is showing Morticia a bulletin board hanging on one side of the lobby. she's wholesome. (she points to a magazine cover of President Bush. SUSAN Wednesday is an excellent student. hanging next to a child's essay) Isn't that sweet? And Harmony Feld has picked Diane Sawyer. (she pints to a photo of Diane Sawyer. Susan Ringo has chosen the President. people we love and admire. frazzled and a little too eager. You see. CUT TO: C91 INT. Fester works with great concentrations. MORTICIA Oh. He appears to be building a bomb. Addams? Yes? SUSAN Could I see you for a moment? I'm Susan Firkins. I'm concerned. This is our class bulletin board.
we've told Wednesday ." (she points to a photo of an oil painting of an evil-looking crone. and enslaved a minister. But don't worry.NIGHT
63B. MORTICIA (touched and very proud) Wednesday's Great Aunt Calpurnia. CUT TO: 91 INT. The Alford's son. MORTICIA It's charming. TULLY JR. C91
Tully and Margaret are chatting with the Addamses. SCHOOL AUDITORIUM LOBBY . yes. is wearing a felt ELF COSTUME.THE ADDAMS FAMILY ."Calpurnia Addams..a lizard? (CONTINUED)
. She was burned as a witch in 1706. SUSAN (shocked) Really? MORTICIA Oh. with her mouth hanging open. ANGLE on Susan. What is he -.college first.1/7/91 C91 CONTINUED: SUSAN (not comprehending) But Wednesday brought in this picture . They say she danced naked in the town square. MARGARET (holding her son's shoulders) Isn't he adorable? I made this myself.
's face with a Kleenex) Look at you . SCHOOL AUDITORIUM . MORTICIA Too young.SAME TIME Gomez attempts to schmooze Judge Womack. You are just too precious for words. (she kneels and wipes Tully Jr. I could just eat you alive! No. JUDGE WOMACK I'd rather rot in hell. Margaret. FESTER'S ROOM . CUT TO: B92 INT. Granny and Lurch appear. We're all out on a jaunt. where's Fester this evening? GOMEZ Moody -. He hurries. 91
TULLY So Gomez.as usual.
64. TULLY (his eyes gleaming) What a shame.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (CONTINUED) B92
. and he's home alone.11/12/90 91 CONTINUED: MARGARET An elf." GRANNY Toad on a stick! Get your red hot toad on a stick! Can't enjoy the show without your toad on a stick! A92 INT. GOMEZ I was hoping you'd come over and play a round of golf. in that big empty house. He looks at the clock. Not to brag but I've got a beautiful little nine hole pitch-and-putt-set up in my cemetery. Fester works with great concentration.that's better. um. Why. hawking another of Granny's "delicacies. He appears to be building a bomb.SAME TIME A92
At his desk now.
Lurch stops fidgeting and Granny sits up straight.. CUT TO: B93 EXT. ABIGAIL (whispering. a previous engagement. peering in windows.
65. Morticia and Gomez politely join in while Lurch fidgets and Granny slumps. sweetly) Gordon.THE ADDAMS FAMILY ... VARIETY SHOW STAGE ..SAME TIME Abigail is hammering on the door with the knocker. BACKSTAGE ... banging the knocker) Dammit. Fester is suddenly behind them.. ADDAMS HOUSE . it's Mother. B92
He tucks one of his cigars in Judge Womack's breast pocket and heads off to join his family. Gordon.. CUT TO: A93 INT.LATER A HALF DOZEN ADORABLE SEVEN YEAR OLDS are on stage singing "We Are The World. (very harsh. in her chair. where are you! I should never have used him! She clomps down the porch steps and heads around the side of the house. CUT TO: B93 A93 C92 92
. FESTER I changed my mind. CUT TO: C92 92 OMITTED INT. Wednesday and Pugsley are putting on their armor." They finish to the enthusiastic applause of the AUDITORIUM FULL OF PARENTS.SAME TIME Sitting at the make-up mirror. bored.11/28/90 B92 CONTINUED: GOMEZ Ahhh. He thrusts a package toward them. MORTICIA The children are next. reflected in the mirror.
ADDAMS MANSION.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Pugsley and Wednesday in their elaborate costumes are drawing to the climax of their scene from "Hamlet. VARIETY SHOW STAGE. hear her and no escape." As they duel. She makes horrible GURGLING NOISES. AT HER ANKLES -VINES snake out from a window well.2/15/91 C93 INT. GOMEZ (whispers) I knew you couldn't stay away. They both press the attack. preparing to pull her under. SAME TIME. around her ankles. SAME TIME. Virginia tries yet another window. C93
Pushing people aside. WEDNESDAY O proud death! What feast is toward in thine eternal cell? (CONTINUED) 93
. my thoughts be bloody or be nothing worth! If I must strike you dead.
66. I will! Pugsley lands the first blow. HER SLEEVE RENDS AND BLOOD SPURTS. slashing Wednesday's arm. PUGSLEY A hit. drawing blood. they act their little Addams' hearts out. CUT TO: 93 INT. She gapes down at them and screams. In a fatal blow. Pugsley SLASHES WEDNESDAY'S JUGULAR. CUT TO: D93 EXT. AUDITORIUM. Standing on tiptoes. a very palpable hit. and spur my dull revenge! O. from this time forth. Fester forces his way to where his family is seated. They're happy to see him. BLOOD SPURTS in arterial squirts. old man. They wrap firmly There's no one to D93
The vines go taut. WEDNESDAY How all occasions do inform against me. A SHORT WHILE LATER.
THE ARM DROPS TO THE STAGE AND BOUNCES OFF. CUTTING IT OFF.2/15/91 93 CONTINUED:
66A. LANDING IN JUDGE WOMACK'S LAP. SENDING A GUSHER OF BLOOD OUT OF HIS STUMP.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . (CONTINUED)
. Wednesday HACKS AT PUGSLEY'S LEFT ARM. 93
In a final vengeful moment.
Wednesday. and an airplane full of tourists from Miami Beach. jaws agape.11/28/90 93 CONTINUED: ONSTAGE -Wednesday clutches her bleeding throat. someday will you take me there? FESTER It's a promise. Fester applauds louder than anybody. deep in shock. Goodnight. All lost in the triangle. WEDNESDAY'S BEDROOM . painting.there were sailors and pirates.. WEDNESDAY (gurgles) Sweet oblivion. applauding wildly. open your arms. devoted friends. THE AUDIENCE -sits perfectly still.LATER THAT NIGHT Fester is tucking Wednesday into bed. You were terrific. 93
and Pugsley and Wednesday bow deeply. (CONTINUED)
.. THE ADDAMS FAMILY -leaps as one to their feet.. CUT TO: 94 and A95 B95 OMITTED 94 and A95 B95
INT. Then. They are now
FESTER .THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Bravo! THE LIGHTS ON STAGE COME UP -GOMEZ
67.. Wednesday falls dead. accepting their family's applause. WEDNESDAY (thrilled) Uncle Fester.
Your laugh. GOMEZ You were so beautiful . Fester kisses it. It was my first funeral.. six feet under. and mysterious.pale. She holds out her headless doll. it was an evening much like this.. When we first met. Your eyes. In matching coffins.someday we'll be buried here. B95
He kisses her on her forehead. Magic in the air. bench nearby. all during the eulogy... CUT TO: C95 INT. Fester kisses the doll's empty neck. MORTICIA What a sublime evening. You were still a suspect. MORTICIA (nostalgically sitting beside Gomez) An open grave. A girl.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . I couldn't stop staring.SAME TIME Morticia is standing in the moonlight. Wednesday holds out the doll's severed head.3/18/91 B95 CONTINUED:
67A. Your moustache. years ago. Side by side. rotting together. Our lifeless bodies. Balthazar. MORTICIA (gazing at the cemetery) Just think ... I proposed that very night.. for all eternity. (CONTINUED) GOMEZ
. No one even looked at the corpse.. GOMEZ A Shakespearean delight! A Gomez sits on a C95
All hail Fester!
MORTICIA It's like a dream. theatrical triumph. CEMETERY . GOMEZ (aglow with romance) You bewitched me. MORTICIA Your cousin. A boy.
CONSERVATORY . he comes upon 95
ABIGAIL -.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .2/7/91 C95 CONTINUED: GOMEZ (aroused by all this) Cara mia! MORTICIA (passionately) Mon sauvage!
67B. CUT TO: 95 INT.tightly wrapped in a plant cocoon. As they do. C95
They embrace in the moonlight.MORNING LURCH -is sweeping up. Lurch growls. the camera PANS above their heads: we see the headstone featuring UNCLE FESTER. CUT TO:
. Among the plants.
amused) Rascals. KITCHEN . proud. Wednesday has SOMETHING MOVING in her cereal bowl.LATER The cheerful Addams breakfast is underway. peeling off bits of the vines that had encased her. at the sideboard.1/18/90 A96 INT.a full bucket. Wednesday. A96 Fester is at
MORTICIA Weren't we all. Granny SCREAMS. teases it with her fork. I was so
68. play with your food. GOMEZ Doctor! You were so right! an evening! MORTICIA Fester fit right in. Abigail enters. GOMEZ The displacement is over! (CONTINUED) What MORTICIA She
.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GRANNY Who put this in here? Pugsley and Fester exchange a conspiratorial glance and giggle. GRANNY (referring to the skeleton) That's for company! GOMEZ (shaking his head. Mama? Granny pulls a SKELETON OF A SHIN AND FOOT out of one of the serving dishes. PUGSLEY (to Fester) Did you like the blood? FESTER Perfect . the table with the family.
valk me out.Greta. nice. CUT TO: 96 EXT. anguish. I'm completely in control.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .A LITTLE LATER. he does. ABIGAIL Vat a luffly gesture. ABIGAIL Jais. Pinder-Schloss.. Fester looks over at Gomez and Morticia. FRONT WALK ... Tish? MORTICIA (to Fester) We've planned a farewell party.11/14/90 A96 CONTINUED: ABIGAIL (glaring at Fester) Vell. Dr.. And we owe it all to you..
Amazed by the gesture. ABIGAIL Fester . WEDNESDAY Does he really have to go. if he insists upon leaving. GOMEZ Well. Greta. breakfast. Fester is escorting Abigail through the yard.. (CONTINUED) 96 MORTICIA
.. isn't zat. MORTICIA (gazing at her family) Bloodshed. GOMEZ We've invited the whole clan. Mother. ABIGAIL Please . We're a family again.. FESTER I'm fine. we shall mark the occasion.
11/28/90 96 CONTINUED: ABIGAIL (grabbing him) They're not your family. 96
.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
69A. Really. Gordon. They're evil and corrupt and degraded. FESTER I'm fine. I am. I can give you that. I do. They don't love you.
oaken double doors.. to dance. here.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . They begin
Fester remains frozen in the center of the ballroom. Lurch. Like some primeval sea. MORTICIA We're opening the ballroom now.. Gomez unlatches them. revealing the true enormity of the ballroom.2/13/91 96 CONTINUED: We'll see. FESTER A party. for me. (CONTINUED)
. elaborately carved. MORTICIA'S CONSERVATORY .. overwhelmed by the grandeur.. HALLWAY OUTSIDE BALLROOM . They reach Gate. A lofty unsupported dome ceiling is DECORATED with figures worthy of Dante. CUT TO: 97 INT.. Fester hesitates. The black marble floor glistens. It's straight out of a ROCOCO palace.. As Gomez and Morticia waltz past. then follows Morticia. The furniture and banquet tables are FUNEREALLY SHROUDED. Even Gate is intimidated and swings open. Granny. 96
Each carrying a lighted candelabra. Morticia. Pugsley. and Wednesday stand in front of the tall.A SHORT TIME LATER ABIGAIL
70. Fester is cutting the blooms off Morticia's roses. Fester... Together they push them open and STEP into the BALLROOM Moonlight streams in through the floor-to-ceiling windows. the shrouds undulate in the breeze admitted through the open doors. Gomez steps up to Morticia and embraces her. Gomez. ABIGAIL (bellowing) Open up. CUT TO: 98 INT.EVENING.
smoking jacket and fez. With him is his child-sized wife.to Fester-. Thing is a 99
Gomez and Morticia dance among the ADDAMS FAMILY RELATIVES -. all four arms embrace his date. hours. DIGIT ADDAMS. If a man could look like a toad and still be a man. COUSIN LUMPY ADDAMS.11/20/90 98 CONTINUED: All for you! GOMEZ Tish . she reaches for one of the shrouds and WHIPS IT OFF -. MORTICIA
71.THE ADDAMS FAMILY ..IT FILLS THE SCREEN. Dexter and Donald dance Ophelia over to Gomez and Morticia. DEXTER AND DONALD (they echo one another) I wonder-. third hand on the bass. COUSIN OPHELIA ADDAMS who looks like a Tennessee Williams heroine who's just been fished out of the Mississippi.that portrait gallery of GROTESQUES come to life. and Gomez in black velvet lounging pajamas. 98
He dips Morticia.what happened-.to Fester. resplendent now in their party clothes. Morticia in a formal version of her black sheath. (CONTINUED)
. CUT TO: 99 INT. with thick blonde braids. a teenage hunchback in a loud blazer.I wonder-. this is he.. Among them are: DEXTER AND DONALD ADDAMS. BLACK. As she bends back. an over-age Heidi. THE BALLROOM. Gomez. When the shroud comes down THE PARTY IS IN FULL SWING. the two-headed cousin in matching turtlenecks. Gomez and Morticia. A SMALL ORCHESTRA plays a FRACTURED WALTZ.what happened-. He's made many a killing on Wall Street. SLOSH ADDAMS.how long has it been since we've waltzed? MORTICIA (ruefully) Oh. LOIS.
or his underwear. with a spacy Thorazine smile. Abigail stands nearby. FESTER I know.you're not really an Addams.but the party's for me! (he holds an outfit up in front of the mirror) I love this. Her mind water-logged and bleary. he is considering various pieces of clothing. her arms folded. CUT TO:
. on hangers or placed on the bed. I know . may I remind you . Soon. OPHELIA Where is Fester? MORTICIA Soon. FESTER What would look best? A tuxedo?
ABIGAIL A nice dark suit is perfectly acceptable.4/03/91 99 CONTINUED: GOMEZ Still primping. I suppose. Ophelia. FESTER'S BEDROOM OPHELIA
72. Ophelia addresses Morticia.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Where am I? CUT TO: A100 INT. 99
Fester is in his robe. FESTER But the whole family's coming! I want to look terrific! ABIGAIL Gordon.
Cousin It is a hairball in a homburg. COUSIN IT Ooot gibber bleep. MORTICIA Far too long.A LITTLE LATER Lurch escorts COUSIN IT into the ballroom. It. his face lights up as he sees a new arrival. It runs a hand through his hair. he has obviously been summoned. 100
The front door opens. slicking it back. He looks out. He SEES-MARGARET on the dance floor with Tully. GOMEZ Gomez and 101
Cousin It looks around. ooot. ooot. who gleeps and squeaks in a language the Addams have no trouble understanding. BALLROOM . He pauses for a moment. driving up in his bubble-topped Itmobile. ADDAMS MANSION
72A. Morticia come over to greet him. to survey the house. (CONTINUED)
.4/03/91 100 EXT. CUT TO: 101 INT. ANGLE on COUSIN IT. then excuses himself. He parks the car and flips open the top.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . old man! COUSIN IT Bleep gibber. and Lurch appears. You're right. obviously checking out the women.
11/17/90 101 CONTINUED: MARGARET
73. and you take me here.. He takes her in his arms and spins away with her. She turns. eager to cut in. Mother? (CONTINUED) WEDNESDAY MORTICIA C102
.. then slip away from the party . BALLROOM . CUT TO: A102 B102 OMITTED INT. MARGARET Don't let me out of your sight.SAME TIME Wednesday is dancing with Lumpy Addams. TULLY It's a formal occasion. Morticia approaches them. hat in hand.. FESTER'S BATHROOM . ooot.. There's a TAP on Margaret's shoulder. ooot. How? FESTER I'm the guest of honor.. COUSIN IT Oot. MARGARET The first time we've been dancing in ages.. her is Cousin It. TULLY Don't threaten me. ABIGAIL You'll make your appearance. Abigail shaves the back of Fester's head with a straight razor. Wednesday? Yes. the teenage hunchback.SAME TIME A102 B102 Before
The pipes groan loudly as scalding water floods the sink.. The room is filled with steam..THE ADDAMS FAMILY . 101
clings stiffly to Tully in the midst of all this Addams' weirdness.. CUT TO: C102 INT..
No one likes that. Uncle Fester? WEDNESDAY
FESTER Yes. you. I'm counting on you. There
ABIGAIL You can do it. Don't buckle. Lumpy Addams. then there's silence.
ABIGAIL I hope so. FESTER It's not going to be easy. it's unattractive. But if I can't. (screwing up his courage) Then that's it. Look at you. Mother.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Mother? (CONTINUED)
. the sound of voices beneath it. fine. I will try and reach the vault tonight. Okay.1/7/91 C102 CONTINUED: MORTICIA Could you run upstairs and check on your uncle? (as Wednesday runs off) Thank you. All grown up. if you just stop whining. C102
She hears the water running in Fester's bathroom.. I understand. are people everywhere. CUT TO: 102 INT. FESTER'S ROOM .A MINUTE LATER The door opens and Wednesday peeks inside. Gordon. The pipes make a final clang.. FESTER All right.. dear. well. INSIDE THE BATHROOM -Fester turns off the water.. (to Lumpy) Why.
The straight razor catches the light and GLINTS MENACINGLY. torn and it shows. 102
Abigail and Fester wheel around on her. little vun. hurt you. WEDNESDAY You are a fake! I knew it!
74A.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Get her! (CONTINUED) ABIGAIL
. Wednesday! FESTER
Abigail's facade disintegrates and she bellows. Ve von't He is genuinely
Fester can't believe this is happening.1/7/91 102 CONTINUED: Wednesday stands frozen in the doorway. ABIGAIL Come here.
and into the darkness of the night. in fact. CUT TO: EXT. HALL . the twins from the home movies.12/29/90 102 CONTINUED: Abigail pushes him toward Wednesday -. WEDNESDAY'S ROOM .
Galvanized into action by the hold his mother still has on him. 102
She slams her bedroom door behind her. pulling the door closed behind her. GOMEZ (O. He takes their wraps revealing that they are. BALLROOM . into the ballroom.S. He pounds the floor in frustration. ARE TWO SMALLER CHUTES -. the door is seamless.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Fester tries to find it but. C104 EXT. GRAVEYARD .
75. She takes off toward the cemetery. Twenty-five years later. a pair of SIAMESE TWINS. Wednesday SLIDES OUT of her chute. 104 105 106 OMITTED OMITTED INT.NIGHT Wednesday runs through the graveyard.SAME TIME A104
Next to the coal chute where Abigail was grabbed by the vines. Fester KICKS the door open just in time to SEE: A104 INT.who suddenly scared.SAME TIME Lurch escorts FLORA AND FAUNA AMOR.one marked Pugsley and one marked Wednesday.) Flora and Fauna Amor! Gomez approaches. they still look quite beautiful and quite mad. I cannot see! GOMEZ I'm blinded by beauty! (CONTINUED) 104 105 106 C104
. HOUSE .SAME TIME into her own room.SAME TIME Wednesday throws open a TRAPDOOR IN THE FLOOR and DISAPPEARS DOWN IT. shielding his eyes. takes off running. She runs through FESTER'S ROOM and ACROSS 103 INT.
.. how can I compete? You're twice the woman I am... 106
.... Gomez grabs Tully. he was mine..... FAUNA .... FAUNA . you nabbed him.. GOMEZ Tully.. FLORA . Fauna. FLORA (flirting) Hello... The Amor twins.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . FAUNA .... he was mine.. MORTICIA Flora. MORTICIA Why. FLORA .. They're waiting for Fester. Tully. at least with me. FAUNA I saw him first. Amuse them.... Gomez.11/20/90 106 CONTINUED: FLORA Gomez Addams. who is striding by in search of Margaret. heard so much about you. Copycat! Tag-along! Morticia appears. this darling man.. always was... you terrible flirt. Morticia! FLORA I hate you! I've FAUNA FLORA
76.. the Amor twins.
Let's just leave . At that moment.or they'll suspect something.. ABIGAIL Pull yourself together.. Oh my God. FESTER'S BEDROOM .12/26/90 106 CONTINUED: (2)
FLORA (to Tully) Ignore her. She'll turn up . (using her accent) Ja? CUT TO: A108 OMITTED A108 A107 107 TULLY
. FAUNA (to Tully) She's nothing.out the back.. Now get to the party ..the little cockroach. MORTICIA (calling after them) Bon chance! The girls now have their four arms all over Tully. FESTER I couldn't find her anywhere. I'll be down soon. leading him onto the dance floor. CUT TO: A107 107 OMITTED INT. Fester comes climbing back through the open window.SAME TIME Abigail is in the room alone..THE ADDAMS FAMILY ..
MORTICIA Mama. now on the dance floor with Tully.SAME TIME Flora and Fauna. TULLY Why wouldn't they be devoted? FAUNA Well. deliciously plump and has an apple in its mouth. Lurch then lifts the tray onto a serving cart. CUT TO: C108 INT. you've outdone yourself.11/17/90 B108 INT. TULLY Especially considering what? FLORA It makes no difference now... chatter giddily as he tries to maneuver them through a box-step. BALLROOM .. he's the king of the castle again.SAME TIME
78/79. now that Fester's back. she covers it with a lid. FLORA (rolls her eyes heavenward) Fauna.. It's obvious that Fester and Gomez are devoted..THE ADDAMS FAMILY . This one too has an apple in its mouth. It is beautifully glazed. FLORA You can't imagine how surprised we were when Gomez called and told us Fester was back. Granny turns the roast pig slightly to arrange the garnish and reveals its SECOND HEAD. GRANNY Hey . FAUNA Especially considering. B108
Morticia watches as Granny garnishes a ROAST PIG set on silver tray. KITCHEN . and rolls the cart out. Satisfied..it's a party. isn't he? (CONTINUED) C108
. The house. Excuse me... isn't he? FLORA (flirting) Are you. Tully hurries off. grinning like the cat who swallowed the canary. FAUNA I'd like to. FAUNA Fester's still single. I'm Fauna! I'm Flora! TULLY I'm flattered. Fauna. they giggle madly.. the money . Mr. So he gets it all. CUT TO: D108 E108 OMITTED OMITTED CUT TO: D108 E108
Tully winks at Flora and blows a kiss to Fauna. Alford? Why. ladies? FLORA FAUNA TULLY
80.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .you name it.2/28/91 C108 CONTINUED: FLORA Fester's the older brother. FLORA Gomez be damned.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Now he is found. Everyone. MORTICIA When he was lost. (CONTINUED)
. MORTICIA Your attention please.
80A.SAME TIME Morticia and Fester have appeared at the door to the ballroom. BALLROOM . And how it became them. and our celebration begins. our family grieved. Our treasured guest of honor -Fester Addams. 108
The music stops. and the guests fall silent.2/7/91 108 INT.
Gomez has changed clothes -.but instead ABRUPTLY SPINS HIM BY THE ARM. this Mamushka's for you! The juggling continues.he's dressed now like a Hollywood Cossack. CIRCLING COUNTERCLOCKWISE to Gomez. Baffled. NOSE-TO-NOSE WITH GOMEZ. It's an ELABORATE. They launch into a TONGUE-TWISTING PATTER SONG. sending him whirling like a top into the CENTER OF THE DANCE FLOOR where he suddenly STOPS. high into the air. Fester Addams. the eye of this dizzying hurricane.MUCH TO FESTER'S SHOCK AND SURPRISE. manages to somehow bungle his way through. and now. GOMEZ Taught to us by our Cossack cousins.11/6/90 108 CONTINUED:
81. petrified. Gomez hurls the scimitars to Fester. The MOVES GET MORE AND MORE INTRICATE. CAREFULLY CHOREOGRAPHED ROUTINE.. Granny. 108
She takes him by the hand as if to lead him toward the assembled guests . Gomez then throws the scimitars straight up. Fester stumbles his way through.We danced the Mamushka while Nero fiddled! We danced the Mamushka at Waterloo! We danced the Mamushka for Jack the Ripper. The other family members form a ring. and all the Addams women rap out a stirring martial beat on tambourines. and begins juggling them. He carries FIVE GLEAMING SCIMITARS. Morticia.. Fester stands in the center. Gomez admires his brother. The Mamushka! Gomez begins to CIRCLE around Fester. Fester.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . During an instrumental passage of the song.. the Mamushka has been an Addams family tradition since God-knows-when.. GOMEZ . (CONTINUED) GOMEZ
. They begin JUGGLING THEM BACK AND FORTH -.
GOMEZ After all this time Fester hasn't forgotten a step. Fester drops the scimitars he holds and pulls the one from his mouth. he CATCHES. SWALLOWS IT TO THE HILT.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. HE
The Addams mob CHEERS LUSTILY and launches into the finale of the song. hasn't forgotten a word! Fester STOPS DEAD... What's he going to do with THE FIFTH SCIMITAR? HE OPENS HIS MOUTH TO SCREAM. The Addams
CUT TO: A109 INT.11/6/90 108 CONTINUED: (2)
82.SAME TIME Cousin It and Margaret are waltzing in an out-of-the-way nook. IT DROPS STRAIGHT IN. They close in on Fester. coming straight at him.. ONE. MARGARET We've been married for almost twenty years. they are somewhat involved. sometimes it seems like more.with two in each hand. COUSIN IT Ooot oot blipper. Fester has missed a beat and looks up to SEE -ALL FIVE SCIMITARS -DROPPING FAST. his hands are full. Fester burps. A REMOTE CORNER OF THE BALLROOM . FESTER (astonished) Not a step. FESTER How did I do that? Gomez slaps him on the back. not a word. THREE. FOUR -. Amazed.... cheer again. Panicking. (CONTINUED) A109
Tully is heading for the front door.
83. Plan B. JUDGE WOMACK (smiling) What can I do for you? CUT TO: 110
. TULLY (interrupts) I'm in charge.A SHORT WHILE LATER Judge Womack is on the front porch with Tully. The raucous sounds of the Mamushka reverberate from the Addams mansion.. Cousin It passes across.. Ten minutes . FRONT HALL . Abigail turns. stops him. a reprise of the Mamushka has begun. leading a trembling Margaret. TULLY Hey . COUSIN IT Glibber gleep gleep. on the dance floor.not to worry. in his coat. He's apoplectic. CUT TO: 110 EXT. throwing up her hands. CUT TO: 109 INT. ABIGAIL Where are you going? There's trouble. people change. people grow.. Tully slips out the door. In the rear of the hall.. Upstairs.A LITTLE LATER. frustrated. JUDGE WOMACK'S HOME .12/26/90 A109 CONTINUED: MARGARET Of course. JUDGE WOMACK What the hell's going on over there? TULLY How would you like to be rid of the Addamses for good? I'm serious. A109
ABIGAIL But that hideous little girl.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .I'll be back.
Fester? FAUNA (to Fester. isn't he? MARGARET (sighing) He's perfect. He's It.
84. It drives off. (a beat) Call me? The limo drives off. with a straight-jacket built for two.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . COUSIN IT Ooot ooot gibber. covering him with lipstick. sharing a romantic last moment with Margaret.. they hang on him with all four arms. FESTER There's your ride! Good-bye. confidentially) I'll call.. MARGARET (torn) I can't. Margaret. She puts her arm around Margaret as It's
MORTICIA Oh. 111
Cousin It leans out the window of his limousine. FLORA You'll come see me before you leave. Gomez and Morticia stand on the front steps waving good-bye to their departing guests. as Margaret waves a fond farewell. ADDAMS MANSION .M. he's very special.3/18/91 111 EXT. The limo passes -Morticia appears. MARGARET You're a marvelous dancer. Flora and Fauna giving good-bye kisses to Fester. An AMBULANCE pulls up. won't you. been such fun. We musn't. He is enjoying himself. girls! CUT TO: MORTICIA
.TWO O'CLOCK A. White-jacketed ATTENDANTS step out. once I'm alone.
THE ADDAMS FAMILY . 112
Fester skips down the hall.3/18/91 112 INT.A BIT LATER
A84A. He opens the door and strides into -113 INT. (CONTINUED)
. FESTER'S ROOM . swinging her around and singing bits of the patter song. the Amor Twins' kisses still fresh on his cheeks. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY . still practicing bits of the Mamushka. He grabs Abigail and starts dancing with her.SAME TIME 113
Fester dances into the room.
. Have you. Sometimes I think you're not even my son. ABIGAIL I'm perfectly fine. I don't understand this.go. sits on the bed.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Gordon! ABIGAIL Stop it! This instant! ABIGAIL
84A. Date. Abigail. is that. Dance.. You only owe me your entire existence on this planet. Let me get this clear. (CONTINUED) FESTER I FESTER
. Please. Please. Mother. FESTER Don't say that! ABIGAIL I'm just your mother.2/13/91 113 CONTINUED: Gordon? Fester keeps singing and dancing. return to your depraved orgy. Don't concern yourself with me. have you been having a good time? FESTER (jubilant) Yes. I'm dandy. 113
Fester lets her go. Gordon. Gordon.. breathing fire.. Sing.. Mother? ABIGAIL Mother? Mother? Who is that? don't think I recall. ABIGAIL Gordon. turning away from him. lipstick? your face? All over
FESTER (still giddy) From the twins! The beauteous Amor twins! ABIGAIL The twins? Gordon. by all means ..I sang up a storm! And I danced 'till I dropped! The Mamushka! He begins to dance again. I have! It was marvelous .
. Gordon. BALLROOM . PUGSLEY (sleepy) Where.SAME TIME 114
Morticia is looking for her children. platter.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. I'm so terribly sorry. GOMEZ (whispering) All tuckered out.they're not you. It means nothing. he looks around.. where's the party? (CONTINUED)
.. curled up on the SILVER PLATTER WHERE THE TWO-HEADED PIG LAY. like a little entree. Morticia shushes him. she points to the
MORTICIA (whispering) Look . ABIGAIL (clutching him savagely) Say it. FESTER And I want money. She discovers Pugsley ASLEEP.. It's over.. Those Siamese twins. that hunchback. Gomez enters.our little boy. Cousin It .11/12/90 113 CONTINUED: (2)
85. I'm. Pugsley wakes up. Make me believe it. 113
FESTER (coming to his senses) Mother. She finds this enchanting.. He looks just.
ABIGAIL (very no-nonsense) We've got to find Tully.. CUT TO: 114 INT. I love you. (he kneels at her side) It was just a party. MORTICIA (whispering) So sweet.
Granny has grabbed her divining rod.)
FESTER Somebody should stay behind .. looking down at them from Wednesday's window. Lurch distributes torches.in case she comes back. GOMEZ (calls out) Fester!! Up here. and Lurch . CUT TO: 115 EXT. MORTICIA (worried) Her favorite. ADDAMS YARD . Pugsley helps Gomez unroll an ancient map of the area. Pugsley .the shallow graves.. abandoned well! And FESTER (O. Gomez? GOMEZ Don't fret .head for the dung heap. awaiting instructions.11/12/90 114 CONTINUED: MORTICIA It's over. They look up at Fester. darling .check the bottomless pit.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Morticia wears a black cloak. GOMEZ Fan out.we'll find her. Good man! GOMEZ Good thinking! (CONTINUED)
. GOMEZ Fester! You take the ravine! the unmarked. then stands aside.LATER MORTICIA
86.S. Mama and Morticia .have you seen your sister? PUGSLEY Not since before the Mamushka. 114
Gomez rallies the family for the search. I'll take the abyss.
TULLY Taking a little sun. ABIGAIL Where the hell is Tully? They head out." Tully smiles at them.
GOMEZ That's the spirit. the various members of the family search for Wednesday.lend a hand! Let's go! They all sweep off. WEDNESDAY'S ROOM . ABIGAIL What are you doing? Relaxing. THEIR POV Spread far and wide over the grounds.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . with Gomez in the lead. 116
ABIGAIL Have you gone mad? Au contraire.A LITTLE LATER Fester and Virginia find. CUT TO: TULLY
. 116 INT.. calling. Tully closes the book and smugly unfurls a LEGAL DOCUMENT. basking in the rays of sunshine that beam from a copy of "The Sun Also Rises.
Gomez nods. DEN . CUT TO: 117 118 OMITTED INT. 117 118 Abigail joins him.. tiny lights aloft. Thing .12/3/90 115 CONTINUED: GRANNY Then who'll take the swamp? Thing tugs at the cuff of Gomez's pants. TULLY sitting in an armchair.A SHORT WHILE LATER Fester is still at the window.
MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT Morticia and Granny stand in the middle of the dripping dankness. stopping occasionally to quest the air for his mistress. MAUSOLEUM . curled asleep on a stone sarcophagus. CUT TO: 120 EXT. filled with the bleached bones of the Addams dead. GRANNY (calling out) Wednesday! Wednesday! MORTICIA Oh. He steps into A124 INT. PRIMEVAL FOREST ADJACENT TO CEMETERY . Gomez lowers the uplifted claw of one of the vultures and the stone doors slide open. Mama. NEIGHBORHOOD . CEMETERY . Pugsley searches through the primeval forest. CUT TO: 122 EXT. CUT TO: A124
. Stalagmites. 119
Thing hops lily pads.MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT Lurch picks up a car -. Gomez approaches quietly. UNDERGROUND GROTTO .SAME TIME Inside it is catacomb-like. He doesn't want to wake her up. CUT TO: 123 EXT. Granny's torch casts scary shadows on the cave walls. I was sure we'd find her here.MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT 120
Torch aloft. Relieved to find her.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . He lifts her tenderly in his arms.MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
88. Gomez's torch casts shadows -. Stalactites. Two proud marble vultures guard the entryway.2/19/91 119 EXT.looking for Wednesday.one of which belongs to Wednesday. CUT TO: 121 EXT. SWAMP .DARK 123 122 121
Gomez reaches a stately mausoleum at the far end of the cemetery.
from my own house!? TULLY Not your house. He rattles miserably on his hinges -locked tight with heavy chains and yellow police tape large "NO TRESPASSING!! COURT ORDER!! ADDAMS FAMILY KEEP OUT!!" signs are posted on Gate's rusty bars.this is lunacy! MORTICIA Fester adores Gomez! TULLY He's afraid of him.Fester Addams! GOMEZ But . appalled at the sight of Gate.2/15/91 124 EXT. TULLY This is a restraining order. Gomez . You've got about nine hundred and ninety-nine yards to go .DARKNESS BEFORE DAWN
89.always were. GATE . Seeing the twins brought it all back. PULL BACK TO REVEAL -the family.catch my drift? GOMEZ (in disbelief) I am restrained . moustache! Not any more! It belongs to the eldest living descendant. the sleeping Wednesday and Pugsley.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GOMEZ What's all this? TULLY -hurries down the walkway. waving his legal document. 124
Gate can't open. Gomez. GOMEZ A restraining order? TULLY It requires you to keep a distance of one thousand yards from this house. the older of the brothers -. always will be! (CONTINUED) Lurch carries
. (to Gomez) You're bitter rivals.
Or better yet .2/15/91 124 CONTINUED: GOMEZ It's not so! Those girls meant nothing . He's very hurt it's not a good time. Leave it alone.he knows that! I demand to see Fester! TULLY Sorry .just leave. 124
.no can do.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
PULL BACK to reveal -JUDGE WOMACK is the presiding judge. GOMEZ (to his family) Do not fear . with God as my witness I am that fool! CUT TO: 125 A126 126 OMITTED OMITTED INT. reads his decision. He hammers the bench again.justic shall prevail. rubbing the sleep from her eyes. COURTROOM . The courts will decide! (fervently) They say a man who represents himself has a fool for a client.DAY C. GAVEL -hammers on the Judge's bench.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . WEDNESDAY But he isn't even Uncle Fester. Gomez and Morticia turn to look at her.U. then (CONTINUED) 125 A126 126
.2/22/91 124 CONTINUED:
90. Well. 124
Wednesday comes forward.
ADDAMS OVERGROWN DRIVEWAY . his head thrown back. Pugsley his chemistry set.LATER The Duesenberg eases out of the driveway and onto the street. CUT TO: 128 129 OMITTED EXT. watches the car drive off. (He holds up a golf ball) I believe this is yours.. Morticia carries out Cleo. her carnivorous plant. CUT TO: 128 129
. his glove. It is with no small amount of personal satisfaction that I declare Fester Addams legal executor of the Addams estate and rightful owner of all properties and possessions contained herein.2/26/91 126 CONTINUED: JUDGE WOMACK Given applicable standards of proof. ADDAMS MANSION .THE ADDAMS FAMILY . his coat draped over his shoulders as if he were an invalid. Lurch uproots his favorite tree and joins the procession. WEIGHED DOWN by Lurch's tree.DAY The family members TROOP to the car with their few possessions. Gomez Addams. 126
already sits in the passenger seat of the Duesenberg. GOMEZ
91.. Granny carries her favorite cauldron. dragging a toy wagon packed with his rings. sticking out of the trunk. Thing follows. the attempts to impugn this man's character or question his identity have been woefully inadequate. FESTER standing at a second story window. Wednesday one of her Marie Antoinette dolls. CUT TO: 127 EXT.
BUNGALOW . MORTICIA Just as long as we're together. Sighing deeply.11/28/90 130 EXT. worried look. Granny joins her.U. He's a broken man. she stands back to admire her handiwork. we see the interior of the bungalow -. PUGSLEY comes from the bathroom. GOMEZ GRANNY CUT TO: 131
. nibbling a wrapped bar of motel soap.
92. He looks back never heard French. WAMPUM COURT . DRESSING TABLE MIRROR Morticia leans into frame. she deftly makes a large spidery CRACK in the round mirror. mon cher? As she turns to Gomez. PUGSLEY This place isn't so bad. 131 INT. With an icepick and a hammer. Her mother pats her consolingly. n'est pas. The asphalt has been ripped up in big chunks and Lurch's tree is parked next to the Addams' new home.SAME TIME C.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . I like it. vibrant energy has him.Bright and awful ersatz western.all ersatz cowboy and Indian mixed with chrome-plated plastic and orange shag carpet. They even put candy in the bathroom. It's as if been leeched from at her as if he's Huh? Wednesday tends to him. The Addams' Duesenberg is parked in front of the furthest cabin.LATER. GOMEZ sits slumped in a hyde. dear. MORTICIA That's the soap. (CONTINUED) She and her mother exchange a chair made from wagon wheel and naugaall of his insane. 130
A two-story NEON ARROW points the way to this bungalow court -. LOG CABINS OF SIMULATED WOOD surround the TEEPEE-SHAPED OFFICE.
Abigail.all of them wet and bedraggled and gasping for air... The family moves closer to Gomez.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . on three hands. 131
Wednesday exchanges a panic-stricken look with Morticia. GOMEZ But maybe I'll have one of those.MIDWAY TO THE VAULT C.MIDNIGHT THE COAL CHUTE ON THE SIDE OF THE HOUSE -drops open. and morosely eats. He takes another greedy bite.U. He takes a bar of soap from Pugsley. as they reach up to pull three of the countless chains. (CONTINUED) A133 132 132A
. ADDAMS YARD . Father? GOMEZ (in a monotone) They're very bad for you. ADDAMS MANSION . WEDNESDAY Do you want a cigar. CUT TO: A133 EXT.11/20/90 131 CONTINUED: Oh. WEDNESDAY (very worried) Father? PUGSLEY
93. Wednesday pats her father's arm. Gomez unwraps it CUT TO: 132 132A OMITTED INT. and Tully . dumping out Fester. ABIGAIL (to Fester) You're doing this on purpose.
And why? GRANNY Because we like it! (CONTINUED)
. PUGSLEY During rush hour. Skin it. as Addamses? GRANNY Kill the hare. 133
WEDNESDAY Put the tortoise on the highway. CUT TO: 133 INT. She addresses the family from the head of the breakfast table.11/20/90 A133 CONTINUED:
94.the mattress pushed aside. Who recalls the fable of the tortoise and the hare? The swift. break our bones we will come back for more. A133
They all struggle to their feet and march grimly back toward the door.MORNING Gomez is STRETCHED OUT on the naked box springs of his bed -. and we will not submit. MORTICIA Yes! We will survive! Poison us. Thing MASSAGES his aching head. strangle us. the want ads open on the table before her. In contrast. A damp cloth covers his eyes.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . WAMPUM COURT BUNGALOW . Boil it. yet lazy little cottontail. A bowl of MOTEL SOAPS is beside him. and his slow but determined companion? What does that story teach us. MORTICIA We are Addamses. Morticia squarely faces the crisis.
CUT TO: 134 135 OMMITTED OMITTED
94A.soap bubbles floating from his mouth. 133
..11/12/90 133 CONTINUED: PUGSLEY Because we're Addamses! Gomez tries to rouse himself.. He burps -.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GOMEZ (out of it) We're Addamses.
SIDEWALK IN FRONT OF THE WAMPUM COURT .a tongue of flame shoots from his mouth and INCINERATES A WOODEN INDIAN advertising the Wampum Court. Have you been a volunteer. PERSONNEL OFFICER (knowingly) Liberal Arts. CUT TO: 137 138 OMITTED INT. service organizations? MORTICIA Well.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
Lurch downs it in a gulp and heads off. with my children. An array of POISONS are lined up on their rickety table. PERSONNEL OFFICER We have so many homemakers re-entering the work force . The pitcher on the table before them steams. Lurch comes out of the motel courtyard. Carrying a SAMPLE VACUUM CLEANER and a bucket. one day each week I visit Death Row at our local prison. a relentlessly perky gal with a clipboard. College? MORTICIA Private tutors. (CONTINUED) PERSONNEL OFFICER 137 138
. Here. PUGSLEY On the house. Lurch. their contribution to the Addams' financial well-being. Lurch BURPS -.DAY
95.11/28/90 136 EXT.your domestic skills can be very valuable. Major? MORTICIA Spells and Hexes. Cars speed by. Feeling the effects of the lemonade. EMPLOYMENT AGENCY Morticia is being interviewed by a PERSONNEL OFFICER. 136
Wednesday and Pugsley have set up a LEMONADE STAND. They've slashed their prices to a nickel per cup. PTA. Pugsley offers him a cup of punch.
96. ABIGAIL The Mediterranean. right after lunch. Abigail is going through a stack of colorful travel brochures.DAY Abigail and Fester are seated at opposite ends of the couch. Gordon . Fester stares off into space.. 138
The Personnel Officer shoots Morticia a doubtful glance. castanetstyle.. CUT TO: 139 INT. ABIGAIL Acapulco? Cancun? (she snaps her fingers in the air.once we find the money. the Riviera . We'll try again.. what about your husband? Is he currently employed? MORTICIA He's. he's going through a bad patch at the moment.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . and begins rifling through her card file. CUT TO: FESTER 139
.where should we go first? FESTER (sadly) I don't know.4/03/91 138 CONTINUED: PERSONNEL OFFICER (perplexed) With your children? Autographs. But it's not his fault.. PERSONNEL OFFICER Well. trying to be festive) Ariba! Ariba! You choose. What is he . we'll go everywhere.A loafer? A hopeless layabout? A shiftless dreamer? MORTICIA (wistfully) Not anymore. ADDAMS LIVING ROOM . PERSONNEL OFFICER (with some bitterness) Of course not.
(CONTINUED) PUGSLEY WEDNESDAY
.LATER THAT DAY
A96A. with no preservatives. Organically grown. A140
Wednesday and Pugsley are at their lemonade stand.4/03/91 A140 EXT. The girl scout carries several boxes of Girl Scout cookies. GIRL SCOUT (with grave doubts) Is this made from real lemons? Yes. Are you sure they're real lemons? Yes.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . GIRL SCOUT I only like all-natural foods and beverages. They are negotiating with a PRISSY LITTLE GIRL IN A GIRL SCOUT UNIFORM. WAMPUM COURT .
turns to challenge the perpetrator of this atrocity and. jauntily waving a check. Surrounded by a white picket fence.2/26/91 A140 CONTINUED: Well. she tries to slam the door on Lurch. he STICKS his foot in the way. A BLONDE HOUSEWIFE in tennis whites. I'll buy you buy a box of my girl scout cookies. the tools of his new trade. CUT TO: 141 142 & 143 A144 B144 OMITTED OMITTED 141 142 & 143 A144 B144 140
. SUBURBAN HOUSE . onto her peach Oriental rug. A140
WEDNESDAY Are they made from real girl scouts? CUT TO: 140 EXT. afraid he might break something. Geraniums in the flower boxes. AT THE DOOR. SCREAMS again. In a panic. if delicious we have a GIRL SCOUT tell you what. I a cup.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . obviously in a hurry..only to be greeted by a BUCKETFUL OF SLOP thrown past her. opens the door -. The door partially RIPS off its hinges. She SCREAMS in horror.DAY White clapboard. but. A moment passes. seeing Lurch. The door swings open and Lurch exits. Do deal?
96A. like the salesman's manual undoubtedly advised. he rings the doorbell.. Lurch steps inside and shuts the door as best he can. Carrying his SAMPLE VACUUM CLEANER AND BUCKET. Lurch carefully opens the little white gate.
97.2/22/91 144 INT. what do you think that feels like? After a beat. DAYCARE CENTER . Hansel pushed the poor. all the toddlers begin to CRY and WAIL. Now. CUT TO:
.. who have gathered in a circle around her. when.. boys and girls. And she told them to look in the oven. and so the witch lured Hansel and Gretel into the candy house. writhing in agony. by promising them more sweets. defenseless witch into the oven instead.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . and she was about to push them in. 144
Morticia is telling a story to a group of TODDLERS. The room is sunny and cheerful. MORTICIA . sitting on carpet squares. Where she was burned alive. low and behold. with crayon drawings taped to the walls.
the stuff of legend." GOMEZ (shouts) Grandfather Addams! (smacks his forehead. (CONTINUED)
. 145 thru 147 148 thru 152 A153
OMITTED OMITTED EXT.SAME TIME Granny.11/20/90 145 thru 147 148 thru 152 A153 OMITTED
C. "He was known as the Butcher of Bavaria. BUNGALOW . club raised. He stares vacantly at a game show on TV. "Jeopardy" is on. running now. hosting his tabloid style show.. hurries past the open window of the bungalow. kitty. WAMPUN BUNGALOW . Gomez is still stretched out on the naked box springs.DAY Granny holds a club behind her back as she stalks something. kitty.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . hard) Damn! Not in the form of a question! CUT TO:
EXT.U.. GERALDO Voodoo zombies . staring at the television. standing on the bed. ALEX TREBEK (reading from the card) Monsters Of History for $200.Gomez is now watching Geraldo Rivera. GRANNY Here kitty. on the TV set . CUT TO:
INT. WAMPUM BUNGALOW .SAME TIME Eating compulsively form a box of Mallomars. She stops at the sight of Gomez inside. or a living nightmare? Do zombies really exist? How are they made? Where can we find them? Call in with your comments.
Abigail mimics him. And meanwhile. Mother. ABIGAIL Just the two of us. Let's take a call. CUT TO: FESTER FESTER
99. having lunch. Mother. for the phone. in his drone. GERALDO (cutting him off) Mr. Addams.U. Yes.DAY Abigail and Gordon are seated at opposite ends of the table. Without that dreadful family. A154 Gomez reaches CUT TO:
INT. Geraldo is talking to a woman in
GERALDO So your son was brainwashed by voodoo slave masters and forced to recruit others. FESTER (very flat) Yes. Yes. (CONTINUED)
. please stop calling.AN HOUR LATER C. Mother". It is very quiet. the studio audience. away from the world. we'll try again. We don't know where they meet. GOMEZ (on the studio PA system) Geraldo. ABIGAIL After lunch.11/20/90 A154 CONTINUED: A CALL-IN NUMBER is flashed on the screen. Our dream come true. silently.. we have this little nest. ADDAMS MANSION DINING ROOM . Mother. BUNGALOW . ABIGAIL We'll find the money. As Fester repeats "Yes. Quiet and cozy. on the TV screen..THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
PULL BACK to the motel room. Morticia.Gomez. MORTICIA I know . boy. Pugsley. Wednesday and Lurch are seated nearby. let's go for a drive. very worried about Gomez. Gomez lets the phone drop. "The Cosby Show" comes on. GOMEZ (not even turning) A drive? And miss "Matlock"? Granny opens the door and sticks her head in. She slams the door. tries to comfort him. The whole family. and a mountain of junk food wrappers. boy. All he does is watch TV and eat. Ritually. as at a death watch. Here.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .11/20/90 A155 CONTINUED:
100. Gomez is now surrounded by junk food. Gomez uses the remote to switch channels. and Lurch brings him a canister of "Pringles". We hear her whistling. He switches off the set and stares at the blank screen. GRANNY (O. as handmaidens. Morticia brings Gomez the remote control for the TV. Re-run.S. and Wednesday brings him a copy of TV Guide.) Here. CUT TO: GOMEZ An episode of
. GRANNY Dinner's going to be late. Pugsley brings Gomez a bag of "Doritos". bags and styrofoam containers. PUGSLEY I don't understand. seated on the edge of the box spring.
then who is he. Sometimes people have had terrible childhoods.LATER Morticia is putting Wednesday to bed. And sometimes they just haven't found their special place in life. WAMPUM COURT . darling. And sometimes they're dogs from hell and must be destroyed. Morticia kisses Wednesday and she closes her eyes to go to sleep.2/7/91 A155A INT. I wish
WEDNESDAY Why is that lady doing all this? MORTICIA It's hard to say. mother? MORTICIA I don't know. CUT TO:
. WEDNESDAY If that man isn't Uncle Fester.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . I did.
Gordon? Fester mumbles something. Pugsley uses him for a mattress. depressed.for a long beat. Morticia stares down at Gomez . FESTER'S BEDROOM . Isn't that right? Fester turns away. ABIGAIL Of course it is. don't you worry . ABIGAIL I know why you've been so glum. (she kisses him on the forehead. for a mother and son to be so close. Well. ABIGAIL (very stern) What? FESTER (dutifully) Yes. and Thing uses Pugsley. B155
The family sleeps . and turns) You know.NIGHT Fester is lying in bed. some people might think it's strange. It's beautiful. tucking him in. and stands. for certain. Lurch groans the exhale part. She looks around at her family. and Thing punctuates by wiggling. Lurch is flat out on the floor. She sits up in bed beside Gomez. she gets out of bed.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .we're right on the verge. my darling. under his breath. Abigail sits on the bed beside him.4/03/91 B155 INT. Pugsley snores the inhale part of a snore. She goes to the door. Wednesday sleeps in the same bed as Granny. It's because it's taking us a little longer than we'd hoped to find the gold. mother. WAMPUM . Full of resolve. Tomorrow. I think it's beautiful.MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT
101. CUT TO: AC155 INT. She strokes his hair lovingly.all but Morticia. the covers around his chin. (CONTINUED) AC155*
. Don't you.
fully dressed. Thing trails after. MORTICIA Stop it. ADDAMS MANSION .. MORTICIA I would like to speak with Fester.I'm weeping. Tully steps aside. The minute the door shuts.LATER Morticia. TULLY We've been expecting you.
102. CUT TO: E155 EXT..A LITTLE LATER Tully opens the front door. heads off down the walk. GATE . AC155
Abigail exits. Morticia crosses the threshold.A LITTLE LATER Morticia. dabbing her eye with a fingertip) Look . CUT TO: C155 EXT. CUT TO: F155 OMITTED F155 E155 D155 C155
. CUT TO: D155 EXT. Thing clutching the bars. BUNGALOW .THE ADDAMS FAMILY . just outside Gate. He goes to the window. Morticia breaks free of Thing. Unseen by her. you two. also attempting to block her way. He smiles maliciously at the sight of Morticia on the stoop.4/03/91 AC155 CONTINUED: ABIGAIL (instantly very sweet. He is fully clothed. Fester gets out of bed. wearing her cloak. and begins to climb out. struggles to get it open.
take over! Tighten it! (CONTINUED)
. Fester and Tully are securing her hands and feet.2/19/91 155
103. Mrs. He waves to no avail.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . ABIGAIL Stop stalling! FESTER I'm not stalling! Stop badgering me! ABIGAIL (pushing Fester aside) Tully. under Abigail's supervision. FESTER But. Persecution. Fester seems torn. fiendish torture.
EXT. graciously) You are a desperate woman. Screwing up his courage. Mother. agitated. I don't hate you. The vault. I pity you. he GRABS ahold of the bumper of the next car that comes along and hangs on for dear life as the car SPEEDS down the street. inhuman depravity sometimes it's just not enough..any thoughts? MORTICIA (sweetly. STUDY . (a beat) We could have been such friends. upset.. DANCES AROUND in frustration.NIGHT 155 Thing does his damnedest to flag down any of the few oncoming cars. sticking out his thumb. then tries HITCHHIKING. ABIGAIL Gordon . in a kamikaze leap.let's get started. INTERSECTION AT THE FOOT OF THE ADDAMS HILL .A LITTLE LATER
Morticia is now stretched out on the torture RACK. A passing car splashes him with mud. ABIGAIL I don't think so. MORTICIA (to Abigail. Addams . CUT TO:
INT. consumed by greed and infinite bitterness. to Abigail) Despite everything.
STRETCHING SOUND. It's just me. BONE-POPPING NOISES. Morticia's bones make a horrible POPPING. in afterglow. you know that. Morticia MOANS again. ABIGAIL (shoving Tully toward the rack) Do it! TULLY (to Morticia. When I torture people. She sighs. rather sensually. Morticia MOANS. Tighter! Tully tightens the rack a third time. She glances at Tully.2/19/91 156 CONTINUED: (2)
103A. MORTICIA (to Tully. flirtatiously) You've done this before.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Again! Tully tightens the rack again. She opens her eyes. 156
TULLY I'd love to. but I've got this stomach thing. CUT TO: ABIGAIL ABIGAIL ABIGAIL
. very voluptuously. More BONE-POPPING NOISES. She MOANS. politely) Where's your bathroom? NOW! Tully shuts his eyes and tightens the rack. even more orgasmically.
(CONTINUED) 159 158
. BUNGALOW . GOMEZ (O.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .S.2/19/91 157 EXT. frantically signing. BUNGALOW .NIGHT Thing leaps dramatically onto the porch. 158 EXT. In the background. He opens the door. the rest of the family sleeps. 157
A hand possessed. CUT TO: 159 INT. Thing RACES up the driveway. raising dust as he goes.MINUTES LATER Thing skitters on the kitchen counter.NIGHT
104.) We're paid through Thing rushes in. After a beat: Who is it? Thursday. then stops dead to knock on the cabin door. WAMPUM COURT .
Thing grabs a SPOON and begins tapping out MORSE CODE. TULLY Well. Thing! It's terrible when you stutter!
105. please.. underhanded monster we came to love? FESTER (desperately) Don't ask me. stop! help at once . How Gomez adored you. 159
Frustrated. under-handed monster you've become? Or the loathsome. Deadbeat.. not enough.or whomever you are.2/26/91 159 CONTINUED: GOMEZ (whispers) Slow down.charlatan. Send Gomez grabs him CUT TO: 160 161 OMITTED INT. with understanding) Tully Alford .. Which is the real you .. Tully and Abigail are tending the stick BRANDING IRONS stuck in the roaring fire.. stop! Thing flops down in exhausted triumph. (CONTINUED) 160 161
.. and heads off. GOMEZ Morticia in danger.. FESTER Morticia.A FEW MINUTES LATER Morticia is now lashed to an ENORMOUS TORTURE WHEEL. MORTICIA Dear Fester . GOMEZ'S STUDY .. Parasite.the loathsome. FESTER (to Abigail) You can't! Not with red-hot pokers! TULLY (queasy) Is this gonna smell? MORTICIA (graciously.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
ABIGAIL (furious) Gordon? FESTER (very upset) I was.. 161
Abigail takes a red-hot POKER out of the fire and hands it to Fester... ABIGAIL . Just a notion. Addams are so very close. be my guest. Tell me what you think. I know it was you. restless! I couldn't sleep. Since you and Mrs. ABIGAIL Gordon. at my window.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .
105A. top of my head....I saw you tonight.4/03/91 161 CONTINUED: MORTICIA Fester . I have a thought. CUT TO:
Thing skulks after him. Gomez stops the car and skulks out. Gomez sees the reflections of the roaring fire through the study window.11/17/90 162 thru 164 A165 OMITTED
106. Thing JUDO-FLIPS in after Gomez.NIGHT Gomez cuts the engine. STUDY . 162 thru 164 A165
INT.who opens uncharacteristically without a creak.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . The car glides silently through Gate -. in a back-flip.SAME TIME As Fester takes the poker and approaches Morticia GOMEZ CRASHES THROUGH THE WINDOW. CUT TO:
INT. DUESENBERG . (CONTINUED)
In a blur of action. pleading eyes. TULLY Gomez. Gomez ATTACKS . 165
Tully also grabs a saber. and approaches Gomez from behind. Tully's sword is knocked from his hand and he's sent tumbling backwards.shredding the front of Gomez's jacket. GOMEZ . old man.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Gomez parries Tully's blow from behind. Tully. and. one for me! Tully looks up at Gomez with cowardly. GOMEZ Dirty pool. take care! Without even looking. Let him up! Gomez turns to see.. finally landing on his knees. it's Tully. Never again! Not
TULLY This is for keeps. Gomez! just doubloons!
Tully feints. then slashes . GOMEZ One for you. (CONTINUED) ABIGAIL (O. Then he whirls on Tully. ABIGAIL MORTICIA GOMEZ
. MORTICIA Darling.2/15/91 165 CONTINUED: Cara mia! Mon cher! Addams! Thing tosses Gomez a saber off the study wall.S... I'm on retainer. I'm your lawyer.HIS BLADE FLASHING LIKE LIGHTNING.
.12/3/90 165 CONTINUED: ABIGAIL who now has a pistol aimed at Morticia. And if you're not back in one hour. feet. GOMEZ Tish .. blood boils. confused at watching this emotional display. Our wheel.. GOMEZ (to Morticia) To live without you . 165
One shot and
Tully scrambles to his
ABIGAIL (to Gomez) That's right! Now get moving Addams.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . and using her accent) I displace her. Gomez throws aside his sword. CU on Fester.only that would be torture. Gomez is near enough now to take Morticia's hand. As does mine.seeing you like this. GOMEZ (touching the torture wheel) This wheel of pain. take him to the vault. (CONTINUED) MORTICIA MORTICIA My
. (the pistol aimed at Morticia. (2)
108. Morticia will die horribly. on the torture wheel..
only that would be death. FESTER No tricks.. Mother can't we. Fester suddenly LEAPS FORWARD. Fester reaches for a DIFFERENT BOOK -..realizing what he's about to do.. snivelling baby! A stone around my neck! What was I thinking . GOMEZ (murmuring) Good show.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Knock it off! right now! ABIGAIL The vault. Gomez kisses Morticia's hand. Tully suddenly panics: (CONTINUED) FESTER
.. Gomez! That's the wrong book! CLOSE UP Gomez's hand is on the right book. 165
MORTICIA (to Gomez) A day alone .you're nothing but a useless." Seeing the title of the book.. Allow me. Addams -
FESTER But. Gordon! Stop dragging your feet! You disgust me ." but Fester stops him from pulling it. Gomez looks into Fester's eyes -.I should've left you where I found you! At Abigail's final words. Gomez reaches for the book that will open the secret panel: ABIGAIL Can it.2/15/91 165 CONTINUED: (3)
109.."Hurricane Irene: Nightmare from Above. "Greed. old man.
think of the doubloons! FESTER They're not yours. as Tully cowers. MORTICIA Later. MORTICIA Quickly. nearing the bookcase. red-hot pokers.to safety! MORTICIA But what of Fester? (CONTINUED)
. really? TULLY I'm your friend. my dearest. Tully! Back off!
ANGLE on Gomez. my love .THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Gordon listen to mother! FESTER I'll never listen to you . GOMEZ Come. Gordon . releasing Morticia from the torture wheel. my darling! He helps her down from the wheel. Gordon! You don't know what it can do! It's not just literture! FESTER (advancing on Tully) Oh. 165
TULLY Put that book down.. facing off with Abigail. GOMEZ Leather straps..3/18/91 165 CONTINUED: (4)
110. ANGLE on Fester.not ever again! ABIGAIL I had to be strict with you because I cared! Put it down! FESTER You never really loved me! ANGLE on Gomez and Morticia. ABIGAIL Keep the book closed.
Gomez can no longer fight the storm. fighting the gale force winds. 165
GOMEZ (calling out.2/28/91 165 CONTINUED: (5)
110A. who has now pulled the right book.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . you little goodfor-nothing! Be a man! FESTER You're a terrible mother! I said it! There. this way! ANGLE on Abigail and Fester. with electricity coursing through him. Amid the storm. to open the bookshelf. "Greed". MOVE IN on the storm raging within the pages of the book. and the bookshelf slams shut. ABIGAIL Stop whining. he is leading Morticia behind the bookshelf. and blasts Tully out of the window. then FADE TO BLACK FADE IN ON: 166 thru 169 170 171 thru 173 OMITTED 166 thru 169 170 171 thru 173
. He tries to hold the bookshelf open for Fester to follow. Fester desperately tries to close the book to quell the storm. Thing fights the wind. to Fester) Old man. which pelts him with papers and other flying debris. but a HUGE BOLT OF LIGHTNING ZAPS HIM. across the room. Then he blasts Abigail out as well. struggling across the floor toward the bookshelf. ANGLE ON GOMEZ. He falls to the floor.
Fester opens the book. GOMEZ (calling out to Fester) Old man! This way! ANGLE ON THING.
ADDAMS MANSION. and he KNOCKS on the front door. they SCREAM IN HORROR and run. After a beat..THE ADDAMS FAMILY . One of the children is pushed forward. a skeleton. etc.NIGHT
110B. CUT TO: CHILDREN
A group of little CHILDREN approach the front door..there's a witch. As the door opens.. the children CHANT: Trick or." The children are dressed in traditional Halloween costumes .2/28/91 174 EXT. back toward the street. terrified. but the children do. We do not see who has opened the door. They freeze in mid-chant. They giggle and chatter. a ghost. NEXT OCTOBER . There is a hand-lettered sign on the door reading "HALLOWEEN OPEN HOUSE. and they all carry trick-or-treat bags.
covered with cobwebs. dead branches and spanish moss. GOMEZ Pugsley. (CONTINUED) PUGSLEY (O. There are clusters of black and orange balloons. on the stairs and the furniture. calm down. Skeletons. PUGSLEY (to Uncle Fester) How do you like it? Fester is very touched. old man! MORTICIA (delighted) Look at you. FESTER (petting Thing) Oh. each holding a candle. COMPLETE WITH BALD HEAD AND GREATCOAT. Uncle Fester and Thing are draping the banisters and stairway railings with a garland made from crepe paper. FRONT HALL .)
.12/3/90 175 INT. hang from the sconces by the nooses around their necks. A stuffed. with a pitchfork through its throat. Perched on Fester's shoulder.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Morticia hands
Granny appears from the kitchen. each wearing a top hat. life-size scarecrow leans against the stairway. Thing shakes in fear. looking puzzled. him a decoration. dusty and faded. and the letters drip with blood. I even made finger sandwiches. GRANNY Well. but Pugsley is dressed as a tiny version of UNCLE FESTER. he picks Pugsley up. Gomez flips down onto his feet. Here we come! Wednesday and Pugsley come down the stairs. A banner on the wall reads "HAPPY HALLOWEEN". carrying a tray of food. 175
The family is busily decorating the house for their annual Halloween festivities. Gomez hangs upside down from the balcony. All the decorations are elegant yet ancient.SAME TIME Lurch is closing the front door. Wednesday is dressed in her usual style.S. are scattered about. The adults are delighted. The crystal gloves in the chandeliers have been replaced by miniature jack olanterns. it's their loss.
in the den.THE ADDAMS FAMILY .2/15/91 175 CONTINUED: FESTER What can I say? He's going to break hearts. Lurch?
. GOMEZ Let's get a picture! MORTICIA Oh yes .
Cousin It . Lurch opens the door. Morticia is knitting. complete with wand. Margaret is radiant. holding hands. a bandanna and a holster. everyone! We have guests! MORTICIA Hello. Margaret. CUT TO: 176 INT. Margaret and Cousin It sit together. There is a KNOCK on the door. MARGARET Isn't he handsome? Everyone keeps asking where he bought his costume. he is painting Fester and Pugsley's portrait. carving a pumpkin.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . DINING ROOM . Standing outside are Margaret and Cousin It. Everyone turns. Gomez and Wednesday are sitting on the floor amid newspapers.A FEW MINUTES LATER Fester and Pugsley are posed at one end of the room. GOMEZ Look. GOMEZ (admiringly) It is a wonderful hat. obviously very much in love. MARGARET Trick or treat! COUSIN IT Ooot oot glibber. MARGARET (to Wednesday) And what are you. Cousin It wears a cowboy hat. Lurch has set up an easel and canvas. darling? your costume?
WEDNESDAY (solemnly) This is my costume.11/20/90 175 CONTINUED:
112.I almost didn't recognize you. They look just like everyone else. Margaret is dressed as a fairy princess. Granny brings people cups of steaming punch. I'm a homicidal maniac. 175
Everyone starts to move toward the den. (CONTINUED) 176
. from a punch bowl.
Witches on broomsticks. said that. stop.it's such a special time. Now that I've got my memory back. sadly) But not enough. I'm blushing. WEDNESDAY From the Bermuda Triangle. (CONTINUED)
. COUSIN IT Ooot blipper gleep. 176
MARGARET I'm sorry. Ooot oot oot.she really did find him tangled in a tuna net.2/19/91 176 CONTINUED: FESTER Halloween . Filled with evil. old sport . MORTICIA Stranger things have COUSIN IT
113. COUSIN IT Ooot oot gleep. Ghosts and goblins. How true. MORTICIA That unfortunate woman. happened.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . and I'm not bitter. WEDNESDAY Children begging in the streets. (shaking her head. but I blame Tully. MARGARET (the coquette) Oh. PUGSLEY (to Fester) She wasn't your mother. GOMEZ (to It) You remember. With amnesia.my real family. FESTER I'm so glad I can share this night with my family . twenty-five years ago.
Knocked some sense into you.
113A.2/19/91 176 CONTINUED: GRANNY (to Fester) Thank God for that lightning. 176
. Uncle Fester? GOMEZ (jovially) Pugsley..THE ADDAMS FAMILY .. PUGSLEY Please.
bobbing for apples? Charades? COUSIN IT Ooot glibber glip. Everyone oohs and ahhs. It has ONE EYE IN THE MIDDLE OF ITS FOREHEAD. and lights the candle inside. MARGARET (to Granny) I've never played this before how does it go? GRANNY Did you bring a shovel? (CONTINUED) MARGARET
. FESTER You know. chattering happily."Wake The Dead. to Gomez remembering this childhood favorite) "Wake The Dead"! GOMEZ (equally excited) "Wake The Dead"! Out to the cemetery! Come on. MORTICIA And just as refreshing.time for a game! What shall it be . having finished the pumpkin. all the old sayings are true. 176
PUGSLEY For the picture? Fester pops a light bulb into his mouth.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . He places it on a table. The pumpkin glows.2/19/91 176 CONTINUED: (2)
114. everyone! Everyone starts to exit. Pugsley giggles. It lights. GOMEZ All right. MORTICIA Of course ." FESTER (delighted. everybody . There's no place like home. And blood is thicker than water.
Gomez stands up.
old man. Gomez LANDS At the foot of a glass display case. MORTICIA (touched by the brothers devotion) And just as refreshing. FESTER Let us always be as one. handshake. The camera pans up the case.3/18/91 176 CONTINUED: (3)
114A. mine! FESTER (to Wednesday) I tell you what . FESTER (joyfully. Gomez offers his hand. in a manly
GOMEZ Let us never be parted. Fester runs out. Fester flips Gomez in a JUDO FLIP. Gomez. It contains ABIGAIL AND TULLY. Fester faces WEDNESDAY
FESTER My own dear brother .how's that? Pugsley and Wednesday cheer and run out. CUT TO:
. EXPERTLY MOUNTED AND STUFFED.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . Fester takes it.who could be more precious? GOMEZ Blood is thicker than water. will you be on my team? No. to Gomez and Morticia) Come on! MORTICIA We'll catch up. dusting himself off. Fester rises. 176
PUGSLEY Uncle Fester. Three skulls and a pelvis .we'll give you a head start.
.. Morticia and Gomez have drifted into the front hall. MORTICIA (deeply satisfied) Our family.it's a BABY JUMPER WITH THREE LEGS. Everyone -. GOMEZ (ecstatic) Cara mia.. In the cemetery. There is a FULL MOON. FADE OUT.3/18/91 177 178 OMITTED INT. they are moving toward the front door. as the front door SWINGS OPEN.. what are they? GOMEZ Oh. What more could we ask? Gomez? Morticia holds up the garment she's been knitting . followed by Granny's CACKLE. is it true? MORTICIA (shaking her head "yes") Oui. 177 178
Everyone is gone.together at last.THE ADDAMS FAMILY . They embrace.what a night. In the distance. Wispy GHOSTS flit through the night sky.
. a wolf HOWLS. torches are seen. Tish . CUT TO: 179 EXT. like fireflies. mon cher. of its own accord. A human SCREAM is heard.. FRONT HALL
115-117. ADDAMS MANSION ..SAME TIME 179 MORTICIA
Morticia and Gomez are silhouetted in the doorway.