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The Intelligent Dating Manual

The Intelligent Dating Manual

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Published by: Networker_4 on Mar 26, 2011
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Both men and women are sensitive about the topic of money - why? Because it's the biggest
relationship buster there is. Many of my over-30 girls are divorced. I bet you can tie that back
to money an awful lot of the time. Here's the thing. I have nothing against "gold diggers". I
think that there's market for them, or they wouldn't exist. I also think that it's one of the super
tough careers to chase after. Here's why:

1. Huge competition. A bunch
of girls think they should be
gold diggers. Many of them
just say: "I just want a man
who's financially secure".
mmmmm. Think...the kind of
competition it takes to get into
the NFL. Of course, anything's
possible. If this is what you
really want, I'll never tell you to
stop hoping.

2. You're going to be judged. If you don't have a lot of money, and you marry a man that
does, prepare for the onslaught of judgement from just about everyone.

3. Tolerance. Going after men with the big bucks often requires tolerance in other areas. If
you don't have a lot of money and he does, than you're going to have to level the playing field
somehow and bring him some benefits for his bucks. Whatever it is that he's looking for, or
why would he choose you over that above mentioned competition?

4. Tendency towards discretion. You must be discreet. In high-society, sometimes you
need to be able to "fake it". Funny story - we were at a benefit about a month ago. Two
teachers sauntered up to my husband's brother and his roommate. They actually asked "So,
are you guys rich?". Seriously! It's like something you'd see in a movie. I'm not kidding.

Copyright 2011 Happily Ever Afters

20

This...is not discretion.

5. You better be willing to compromise. Big money guys...(and ladies, we're not talking about
the boys that make $75K/year in this post) are highly pursued. They're leery of the ladies that
pursue them. Those financial big boys that have yet to be snatched up, probably have some
quirks. You need to be tolerant of those quirks.

Basically, women who have one main objective in mind - money - need to realize that they
should be prepared to sacrifice a lot of other things on their list. I go back to what I said in an
earlier post. Think about your financial values, and what the man looks like who's values are
similar to yours. Also, please DO NOT pursue a man for money alone. You need to
genuinely like him for who he is - not just the lifestyle he'll afford you. To do otherwise is
mean and conniving.

If you really want to find a man with loads of cash, you need to probably examine yourself
first.

1. How's your credit? Is it perfect?

2. Are your money management skills spectacular?

3. Are you willing and ready to sign a prenuptial agreement, with your own attorney present?

4. Are you ambitious or successful in your own right?

5. Are you knowledgable and able to comfortably fit in with the crowd that he mingles with?

6. Are you willing to be put second to the things that created the fortune?

7. Are you willing to possibly manage a household as a full time job and also possibly
continue to work?

8. Are you willing to present the right face to his empire?

9. Do you believe that you deserve that kind of life?

Copyright 2011 Happily Ever Afters

21

This is indeed a tricky subject. I recommend you take a very honest look at yourself and
consider your financial values before you decide what kind of man to pursue. There's many
different ways that people make their fortune, and what might make more sense is to decide
where your values lie and what your interests are. For example, I am a hard core serial
entrepreneur. It was important to me that I be with an entrepreneur that would accept me as
the ambitious soul that I am. When I met my husband, he was living in a very modest house
with two roommates and sparse furnishings. He basically lived in his upstairs bedroom, like
a true bachelor. He drove a modest truck with a broken windshield, and he had one client.
Today, things are different, but a lot of that is due to my support of his business and the time
that he needs to spend in it. There's trust-funders, there's old-money families, there's self
made guys and there's entrepreneurs that rise and crash financially many times in their life
time.

Be real, ladies, and then make whatever choice that you want. Because this is a biggie, I
won't shy away from the subject, but if all you want it the gold, be ready for tough judgement
and scrutiny by many.

Copyright 2011 Happily Ever Afters

22

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