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The Moron Letters

The Moron Letters

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Published by Hans Klein
What happens when Internet marketing newbie (and certified moron) Casey Porter-Pierce stumbles onto the private email addresses of the biggest names in Internet marketing? The result is a hilarious set of exchanges now known as "The Moron Letters"
What happens when Internet marketing newbie (and certified moron) Casey Porter-Pierce stumbles onto the private email addresses of the biggest names in Internet marketing? The result is a hilarious set of exchanges now known as "The Moron Letters"

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Published by: Hans Klein on Apr 01, 2011
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TERMS OF USE AGREEMENT

This Report is © copyrighted by Casey Porter-Pierce, Pseudonym and is protected under the US Copyright Act of 1976 and all other applicable international, federal, state and local laws, with ALL rights reserved. No part of this may be copied, or changed in any format, sold, or used in any way other than what is outlined within this Report under any circumstances without express permission from its publisher.
2 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Dear Friend, Shuffle to the edge of your seat. The emails you’re about to read are not only 100% real… but each response is fresh from the still-warm keyboards and iPhone touchpads of the biggest names in Internet marketing. The only true mystery hanging over the “Moron Letters” is the enigmatic Casey Porter-Pierce. Is this “Moron” a living breathing resident of Cumberland, Maryland, or simply a figment of a sick twisted imagination? Can anyone really be this disarmingly clueless… or are you bearing witness to an elaborate never-before-dared prank? It’s your turn to decide.

TheMoronLetters.com

3 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Dr. Mike Woo-Ming
An expert in lead generation, Dr. Mike has personally generated over 700,000 leads in 11 different markets. He regularly consults with million dollar companies, while still traveling around the world to sold-out workshops. A graduate in family practice, at the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale, Arizona, Dr. Mike also hold's a master's degree in public health at the University of Michigan. Now Casey has an urgent medical issue… only one man is qualified to come to her rescue.
4 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Dr. Mike Woo-Ming From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Dr. Mike, I ran into you (not literally) at the Clickbank Masters event in Orlando. What an event! And meeting you was the highlight of all highlights (no kidding, there were a lot of "straight up" fools there -- not you -- you had your shizzle together). I am writing to you in pain. Two days ago, an unfortunate incident occurred. You will never guess what happened, although let me give you a couple seconds to try. Bzzzzzzzzzzzt! Wrong. I was hot footing it out the door to visit my friend Lacy who is still under house arrest. I am tired of visiting her at her place. It seems a little selfish of her. I understand why she is not allowed to leave. But still, c'mon, friendship is about give and take. I don't have to tell you that. You're a doctor. Which is why I am writing. As I sprinted out the door, I tripped on my nephew Gary's book bag. I told him not to leave it out, but he is indisciplined in such matters. So I fell ground-wood onto my already fragile left ankle (old mining accident). At the moment, I am between insurance carriers. A visit to the doctor or the ER would clean me out. I would be on the hook for hundreds. I have attached a diagram that points to exactly where on my ankle it hurts. I am hoping that you still remember the Hippocratic oath you swore back in the day. You do, right? I know even when I pinky swear on something I hold that promise dear, like a pillow pet. So Dr. Mike... "marketing M.D" what is your diagnosis? I have been putting weight on the ankle, yet the pain is only getting worse. Show some grace! Casey Porter-Pierce P.S. Who do you have for your NCAA brackets?

5 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Dr. Mike’s Facebook Reply: I'd elevate the ankle, put some ice packs, and take ibuprofen for pain. It sounds like you sprained your ankle. If it’s a minor sprain that should go away after a few days. However if it’s literally preventing you from walking or if the pain gets worse, you'd probably have no choice but to go to an urgent care or walk-in clinic. I don't think the cost would be too expensive to rule out a fracture -- you'd need an x-ray, and some crutches.

6 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Marlon Sanders
Marlon Sanders is an Internet Marketing force of nature. In his many “Dashboard” products, Marlon, a born teacher and “simplifier”, takes every seemingly complicated aspect of Internet marketing and turns it into an easy-to-follow step-by-step process. Go ahead and follow Marlon on Facebook, or read his always entertaining rants at marlonsnews.com… Casey does!
7 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Marlon Sanders From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Hey Marlon, met you in Orlando
Hi Marlon, LOVE your dashboards. As thanks, I was recently given a $50 gift certificate to the big and tall store. I remember running into you in Orlando (JV Alert) you were tall but not big. So it might not apply. Want it? Casey Porter-Pierce 8 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: marlon sanders Sent: 03/15/11 04:37 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Hey Marlon, met you in Orlando Hey Casey, How are you? Actually, I can now fit my clothes just at regular stores believe it or not. That's very kind of you to think of me. So how is your marketing? Marlon 9 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 4:49 PM To: marlon sanders Subject: Re: Hey Marlon, met you in Orlando Marlon, Did you forget we spoke about my marketing? And you helping by being a Joint Venture partner? Remember you said if I could get Willie Crawford on board... (quote) "I'm in!" Well, consider yourself IN! The initial investment on your part is tiny. Just $1,000 for a full 5% (No negotiating necessary). And remember Marlon... we're talking about changing the world here. TechBarium3 is going to replace all petroleum products (except vasoline, of course). And the best part is we don't have to produce the Techbarium3. We just deliver the plans for them building their own alchemeter which produces TechBarium in alarming amounts. Tell me how we proceed from here, partner! Show some grace! Casey Porter-Pierce 10 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: marlon sanders Sent: 03/15/11 05:50 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Hey Marlon, met you in Orlando Hi Casey, Not really interested in this. I do apologize. Marlon 11 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 12:07 PM To: marlon sanders Subject: Re: Hey Marlon, met you in Orlando Marlin, Oh, don't be silly. You're fine. We're fine. In fact, I bet you didn't know I was also a graphic artist of some acclaim. I came up with the origianl design for the biz cards of the Maryland Auto Auction Inc. I beat out 5 others for that job. Anways... in thanks for you taking this time, I made you a new logo. Hugz, not drugz, Casey Porter-Pierce PS - Notice the little fishes. Your name is a fish. I added fishes. Clever, right?

12 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

John Reese
John, the founder of Income.com, shocked the IM world and pulled in over $1,000,000 in sales in less than 24 hours for the launch of “Traffic Secrets” -and he did it without spending a dime on advertising! But, even with his continuing success… Casey wants to alert John to an income “opportunity” that may have slipped his notice.
13 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: John Reese From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Is this your actual email, John?
Dear John, Cheer up! This is not the “dear john” letter it appears to be! I’d never break up with YOU! Let me introduce myself now, before I go any further. My name is Casey Porter-Pierce… confectionary genealogist. (And a woman to whom a kiss is not a kiss unless it’s a HERSHEY KISS!!!) I should tell you now (sooner rather than later) that I am also an enthusiastic (part-time for now) Internet Marketer active in the SOLAR ENERGY niche. Though this belays my VERY IMPORTANT point. For the reason I am writing is to inform you that thru my sleuthing I have discovered that YOU (JOHN REESE) thanks to your great-uncle Harold, may (I repeat) MAY be able to lay at least partial claim to the peanut butter cup fortune. To say you have an interesting family tree is the understatement of this year (or any other!) I would love to share my research with you in detail. Let me know when is a good time for a phone call.

Yours… Casey Porter-Pierce

14 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Shawn Collins
As co-founder of the world-renowned “Affiliate Summit” seminar series… Shawn has grown this gathering of marketing “muscle” into an event that should be inked onto any serious IM’ers schedule. You can follow Shawn and get details about the Affiliate Summit at his highly-trafficked marketing blog Affiliate Tip. You can see by the way Shawn handles Casey’s oddball request that he’s one savvy marketer.
15 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Shawn Collins From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Question about Affiliate Summit NYC
Hi Shawn, “She’s a maniac, maniac on the floor!” For many those lyrics remind them of Flashdance. For me they instead shoot an uncommon chill down my spine. I’m sure you want to know why, so I’ll share. First though, allow me to express how eager I am to attend the next Affiliate Summit. I can’t wait to buy my ticket(s). (Diamond level) I am ready to learn. Is there a way to reserve a spot in the very front row? You should know however that I will be attending your seminar in the midst of an exhausting (and soon to be record) “standing marathon”. On Friday, December 23rd, 2011, I will have stood for longer than any other human since records began. Naturally, I am even sleeping standing up. Chained (in case I fall forward) at a slight angle against a custom-made “upright-bed.” (which I also travel with) Although determined to make it to the very end of my attempt, as you can imagine, all this standing is making me extremely TIRED. Indeed, I am writing to you to see if a team of Affiliate Summit volunteers can be organized. They will stand either side of me (as if escorting a prisoner) working in shifts at all times. It will be their job to keep me alert and awake. Because if I nap even for a moment and hit the floor, I am afraid I will “act out” somewhat since my quest to hold the standing record will have been for naught. Let me know.

Thank you. Casey Porter-Pierce 16 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Shawn Collins Sent: 03/14/11 05:28 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Affiliate Tip Blog contact form (Casey Porter-Pierce) Hi Casey Sorry - I just moved into a new house and have been attending back to back conferences. As far as people to help you, we don't have volunteers - we hire lots of staff locally for everything we need. Which hours would you need people and all three days? Also, if we were able to arrange for people to be with you, would you be willing to wear an Affiliate Summit shirt for that time? Take care, Shawn

17 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 3:32 PM To: Shawn Collins Subject: Re: Affiliate Tip Blog contact form (Casey Porter-Pierce) Hi Shawn! I'm still standing lol (great song though) You asked how many volunteers I shall need? Great inquisitive question. I shall need 2 volunteers at all times between the hours of 9am and 9pm. Preferably men. Strong as an ox, if possible. Muscle to fat ratios of 4:1 are acceptable. As I said they will need to stand either side of me and make sure my "sleepiness" does not get the best of me. If it does, expect fireworks!!! Re: the T-shirt issue. Thanks you for the offer! However, we may have sprung a leak. I'll tell you why I can't wear an Affiliate Summit Tshirt. I have signed a contract to wear a T-shirt adorned with the phrase (in big "IMPACT" font) "Stay Erect Like Casey" for a herbal remedy (potion of sorts) that helps gentlemen, you know, stand tall, shall we say. (wink, wink) And don't worry, the accompanying T-shirt graphics are only in silhouette. So, you bought a house! Hope it doesn't turn into a money pit (I love that movie) Tell me you'll work with me on this! I'm desperate to attend and take a seat (figuratively, not literally!) in the very front row! NYC baby! Show some grace! Casey Porter-Pierce P.S. One last thing! The herbal company I'm contracted to has also supplied me with 5 boxes of the stuff. I have no use for it. So I'd like to sell them at the back of the room at Affiliate Summit. Let me know what kind of profit-share we can sort out. Would you need 10%... less? 18 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Shawn Collins Sent: 03/15/11 04:50 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Affiliate Tip Blog contact form (Casey Porter-Pierce) Hi Casey Thanks, but we are not interested in paying staff to stand with you when you're there promoting another company. Shawn

19 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Armand Morin
He’s an author, self-made millionaire, and one of the most well known Internet marketers in the world today. Since 1996, Armand’s online businesses have generated over $76,000,000 in revenue. With these accomplishments under his belt, you can imagine his surprise when Casey has a bizarre selfserving request...

20 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Armand Morin From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: The OBIMFA Award
Dear Armand, Halleluiah! I see you have one of your famous ArmandLive! seminars on the ledger for May 20th in Orlando. What a charming coincidence. This is PERFECT timing to the max… as it coincides with the Official Best Internet Marketer In Florida Award™ (OBIMIFA). Rather than hold a private ceremony, I was hoping we could wrangle 5 minutes of stage time to bestow this prestigious honor on its worthy winner. Who is the winner, you are asking this very second? Well…it is I, Internet master and commander Casey Porter-Pierce. What can I say? The people love me. What’s a girl to do? By giving me this valuable stage time you won’t only be helping out the little guy (or in my case, gal), you will be making a statement about what type of Internet marketers (not the scammy kind) you will endorse. I have purchased a great trophy (2 ft. tall). It is being engraved as you make these preparations.

Thanks, Casey Porter-Pierce P.S. Ideally, I’d like to be presented this award at the beginning of the seminar. That way everyone will be clear as I network through the room that I am a marketer to be reckoned with.

21 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Carrie Wilkerson
Known as “The Barefoot Executive”… Carrie Wilkerson has fast become the definitive resource for helping people achieve extra income and career goals while working from home. Through her popular site BarefootExecutive.tv, Carrie coaches clients to be their best selves no matter what their business model. Now see what happens when Carrie meets Casey… who’s having a little computer problem.
22 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Carrie Wilkerson From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: FW: Quick question. Referred to you by R.W
Hi Carrie, I was given your email by a mutual ppppppp friend of ours (R.W) I am a lady, but pppppppppp today you will have to ppppppppppp excuse me. You might say my keyboard is farting ppp’s!!!!!! Seriously… the “pppp” key is pppppppppp stuck. Carrie, you are one of my marketing heroines. You ppppppp are one of the women in this business that I really look upppppppp to. You would never let anything like a simple broken ppppppp keyboard get in the way of achieving your dreams. That famous "get it done no matter what stands in your way and blocks your path, however big" Texan attitude is what I love about you. No matter what life throws your way you just have to keep ppppppppppppppersevering. I am writing to ask you ppppppppp if you would like more details about a new "girls-only" marketing “mastermind” group I am setting upppp. Pppppardon me. It is called "the sisterhood of the traveling ppppppppppppens.” I am almost embarrassed to formally offer you the hand of friendship under such circumstances. But like a blood-soaked Joan of Arc I shall soldier on. My name is Casey Pporter-Pppierce. And this mastermind group is for women in Internet Marketing who are pppppppppppp classy. Who really have their ppppppppp act together. We girls gotta stick together! Girl Ppppower!!!!! Holler back and I will send you more info.

Thanks! Casey Ppppporter-Ppppppierce 23 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: "Karen; Barefoot Executive" Sent: 03/14/11 10:00 AM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: FW: Quick question. Referred to you by R.W Hi Casey, Thank you for thinking of us, unfortunately, Carrie is already involved in a mastermind group and a coaching group and can't obligate to anything else at the moment. Good luck to you, Karen Karen Perez, Virtual Assistant to Carrie Wilkerson, the Barefoot ExecutiveTM 24 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Monday, March 14, 2011 6:04 PM To: "Karen; Barefoot Executive" Subject: Re: FW: Quick question. Referred to you by R.W Karen, Thank you soooooo much for your email! It's GREAT to write you with a new keyboard. I never would have had to trash the old one if my nephew Gary hadn't spilt Coca-Cola (classic) all over it. But that's what you get when you try and surf the net with a ferret down your pants. I think I got a discount on this new one. I wore my tight new beige sweater into Best Buy. The one I got for Christmas from my cousin Paula. She's always been a good cousin to me. Very giving. She took me out to Applebees 3 times last month! But anyway... nuff about me! If Carrie is too busy to join my new mastermind, what about you? You're a top-notch virtual assistant. A strong 'n' sassy woman who knows marketing back to front and front to back. "The sisterhood of the traveling pens" needs you! Please respond soon. Say "Yes". We'll have a blast. Casey Porter-Pierce

25 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Ken McArthur
Ken McArthur is the CEO of Tobri.com and the best-selling author of “Impact: How to Get Noticed, Motivate Millions and Make a Difference in a Noisy World.” Ken also hosts the long-running “JV Alert Live” national seminar series… events which are always “go-to” occasions for anyone looking to strike up business connections with the best and brightest in Internet Marketing. As Ken’s email exchanges with Casey attest to, he’s a guy with a big heart, who always sees the best in people.
26 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Ken McArthur From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Thank God for JV Alert
Hi Ken, As I touch type this email with my right hand… my left hand is pumping towards the sky as I loudly exclaim… “Thank you Jesus!” Why my obvious excitement? Well… l shall tell you… (I’ll keep it short, I know you’re likely busy negotiating for tables and chairs) I just got word that you are operating your much ballyhooed Internet Marketing seminar “JV Alert Live” in Washington D.C. That is the best news I’ve had since my cousin Bob called me to say “Aunt Jackie named you in the will” in 1984… just before the L.A. Olympics where the guy jet-packed into the stadium. Remember? You see… I make my home in the D.C area. And now you and your parade of marketing masters are coming to visit me in my backyard... this is not an opportunity I can miss. I wanted to share with you first that I have a balance problem. It is for that reason that I travel everywhere (locally) in a customized golf cart. I am keen to make as many good business contacts as possible when I attend your event. To that end… would you be able to ensure the seating rows leave enough room (4ft preferably) for me to comfortably weave in and out. I am eager to “press the flesh” as they say… and this would make it easy for me to speed towards conversations that could ultimately be worth MILLIONS to me. My nephew Gary… (inspired by the South African “Vuvuzela”) has also equipped my cart with a horn. So you don’t have to worry about me running anyone over. I am not shy about letting people know that Casey Porter-Pierce is coming thru! Last thing I need is another lawsuit! Thank you Ken, Casey Porter-Pierce,

P.S. A toot on my horn also makes a great compliment to applause. When one of your speakers makes a great point I will let them know in no uncertain terms. 27 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Ken McArthur Sent: 03/08/11 08:34 PM To: 'Casey Porter-Pierce' Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert Hey Casey, Love your enthusiasm and I’d love to see you and introduce you to some amazing people at jvAlert Live in Washington D.C. “I am keen to make as many good business contacts as possible when I attend your event. To that end… would you be able to ensure the seating rows leave enough room (4ft preferably) for me to comfortably weave in and out.” Absolutely we can! Looking forward to seeing you there! All the best, Ken

28 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Wednesday, March 09, 2011 5:21 PM To: Ken McArthur Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert Hi Ken, Thank you for your response to my email of 3/8/11 with your own email, also of 3/8/11. Ken McArthur… you are too generous! They say “to whom much is given, much shall be required”. And I for one require you to reach behind yourself and slap yourself. Right on your back! Because you are proving yourself (unlike the “gurus”) to be a truly stand-up fellow. One more thing before I ink JV Alert into my schedule… am I the only recipient of a free ticket or are there others to whom you have extended this generous courtesy? If there are others I would like to join them in saving further costs by “rooming” with a partner, preferably of the opposite sex (I’m only half-kidding!!! (the lower half) I’m in quite a drought.) Please rush this information to me. I need to feel confident about this decision. Thank you again,

Casey Porter-Pierce P.S. My newphew Gary has just arrived for a bite to eat. He says "Hi". I might bring him along to our little event too. He's always liked the computers.

29 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Ken McArthur Sent: 03/10/11 01:10 PM To: 'Casey Porter-Pierce' Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert Hey Casey, We typically don’t give out free tickets although we do have our Early-Bird Special which allows people to bring a guest at no extra charge. That said, I’m happy to offer you and a guest a free ticket. [Instructions Removed By Editor] That will bypass the payment page and make sure you don’t have a problem getting into the event. Post requests for roommates on Tobri at: http://tobri.com Looking forward to seeing you!

All the best,

Ken 30 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2011 4:27 PM To: Ken McArthur Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert Hi Ken, How can I ever thank you? Please work your fingers to the bone to find a way. I am so excited to rumble to the very front of the room and listen from the comfort of my cart to your top-notch line up of speakers. To pay for my food and drink I will also offer my fellow attendees “joy rides” to the bathroom or to the hotel restaurant for only $5 a piece. I have sent an order to the printers for a banner to be hung at the back of the room. It reads “Can’t afford high-priced products? Golf cart rides only $5. (then underneath in smaller font) Talk to Casey. The one in the cart. Cash only.” Naturally we will profit split 50/50.

Casey Porter-Pierce

31 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Ken McArthur Sent: 03/11/11 10:41 AM To: 'Casey Porter-Pierce' Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert Like your spirit Casey!

Ken 32 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Friday, March 11, 2011 7:30 PM To: Ken McArthur Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert Ken, Celine Dion. My idol! My "Canadian" idol! --- (get it!!!) Her songs take me on an emotional rollercoaster like none other. And that's what it feels like I'm riding right now. Ever since you offered me 2 FREE tickets to JV Alert I have slept with one eye open! Petrified a thief may come in the night and steal away my good fortune! When you know the name of the hotel PLEASE get it to me as fast as humanly possible! I need to make sure their elevators will accommodate the girth of my cart. Quick question. The other ticket you kindly offered me. I don't have anybody to bring. My friend Lacy will be out of town celebrating the end of house arrest. What would be a good street-value to ask for such a ticket? You would know better than anyone else. I want to see if I can make a little money on eBay (I'm kinda short right now.) Yours in immense gratitude, Casey Porter-Pierce 33 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Ken McArthur Sent: 03/14/11 8:20 PM To: 'Casey Porter-Pierce' Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert

Hey Casey, Hotel information at: http://jvAlertLive.com/hotel/ Guest tickets aren’t designed for resale so I can’t really advise you on that.

All the best, Ken 34 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 4:36 PM To: Ken McArthur Subject: RE: Thank God for JV Alert Ken, You are a scholar and a gentleman! I totally "get" where you are coming from about this, I really, truly do. We have gotten to know one another a little bit, but there's something about me that I haven't told you. I'm a Secret Millionaire! Not really. (I wish!) I am a part-time graphic artist. As thanks for your outrageous generosity I have attached a re-imagining of the JV Alert logo. It draws on the (in)famous Marcelle Rimpeau dichotomy. Put it on ALL your marketing materials. It's my way of applauding you for being such a Kenneth McArthur. Thanks for the grace! Casey Porter-Pierce P.S. Am taking your advice and decided out of respect for you to sell the ticket for charity. We both know autographed tickets sell for more, so if you could kindly sign the extra ticket then I can auction it off. I will only keep half of the $1,500 reserve price. The other half will go straight to people with intense neediness.

35 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Heather Vale Goss
Heather Vale Goss is a writer, journalist and interviewer known as The Unwrapper™. She teaches others how to conduct high-quality, profitable interviews through her Interviewing Unwrapped home-study package. You can connect with her on her official Facebook page or by following her on Twitter Since 1993, she has worked in all media: TV, radio, print and online. She runs the online publishing company LWL (Life Without Limits) Worldwide Inc. with her husband, Barry Goss. Naturally, Casey wanted to get Heather’s expert opinion on her own writing…
36 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Heather Vale Goss From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Just a quick favor, Heather. 2 mins. I swear.
Heather, I want to first thank you for your time on this matter. It's important to me and I'm glad you're taking time out of your day for me. I'm a writer, who - like you - writes success oriented ebooks. The difference is I have thus far, only ghost written for a bunch of male gurus. (Seth Godin's a best seller, my ass!) I've never yet been able to work up the nerve to come out on my own and publish something of mine. That is until now. I'm currently working on a new book. A new angle on something old, actually. It's ground breaking in that it's the first book I know of to mix fiction and self empowerment. Imagine if Hill's, "Think and Grow Rich" was a novel... or Trump's "Art of the Deal" was a Broadway play. It's like that. The working title is "The Science Of Stunning-Sancity, Staggering Sex And Sudden Success For Saphos and Sisters" a novel by Casey PorterPierce. I've taken the works of Napoleon Hill, Tony Robbins and Pop Rocker, Sting, and mashed them up with the writings of romance novelist Barbara Cartland. Here's an excerpt: firewalking, tantric sex, think and grow rich, "The firewalker danced, as Tantra the goddess of success pursed her lips sanctimoniously, their redness matching the hue of the capillaries in the whites of her eyes. Pink, from a distance she noticed. He didn't care. He touched her likeness. She kissed his... and hers. They both matched the pinkness of the skin. Newborn mice, she thought. When would this pretend to bring her wealth? She need not pretend. He loved her with a scarcity of 1000 fireflies dancing mid-air. It's love. And love means profit." That's just a taste so you get an idea of what it's about. Anyway... there are so far 300 more pages like that. Two more chapters and this puppy is done! Anyway, I'm writing you because I'm a big fan of your work. I especially loved "Crimes and Capers..." also, "Heather on the Vale." But, now that I think of it, I don't presume you had anything to do with that one. Please... since I do love your work and have been following you for years, I really wish to get as much feedback from you as possible. All the best, Casey Porter-Pierce

37 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Jeff Walker
An Internet Marketing household name… Jeff Walker is the brains behind the mega-successful “Product Launch Formula”, about which, Casey has one quick question…
38 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Jeff Walker From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Thank you, Mr. Walker.
Dear Mr. Walker, I recently saw a video from you in regards to your incredible “Product Launch Formula.” All I can say is one word, and that word is… “YOWZER!” To say this is the product I have been searching for my entire business life is an understatement of gross proportions. As you can imagine… I have decided to buy the product IMMEDIATELY pending one question. For the last 25 odd years, I have bought and sold for profit a rare type of insect called the, “African lizard beetle.” You may be surprised to learn that the little buggers often sell for as much as 10K for one beetle. Sell an entire collection and you’re looking at millions. African tribesman, such as the Aandonga in Angola consider them not just a delicacy… but an edible status symbol. I have a feeling you already know what my question is, but I’ll ask it anyway. Can your Product Launch Formula help me sell my exquisite bugs? The market is enormous. With the right sales pitch forget “Chicken of the sea,” THINK the first ever “Caviar of the mud.” It’s a surefire winner from every angle. Let me know.

Thank you kindly, Casey Porter-Pierce

39 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

Mike Koenigs
Entrepreneur... Marketer... Top shelf speaker and consultant to names like Tony Robbins and Paula Abdul, it seems Mike Koenigs has done it all. He is credited with not only inventing the “Internet Infomercial,” but he's also the creator of the wildly successful "Traffic Geyser" program. These days Mike splits his time between speaking to large groups, and continuing to create successful products like his latest, "Main Street Marketing Machines I and II." As you can plainly see by Mike's interaction with Casey, he's a man who gets right down to business. (It's also apparent by the following exchange that Casey does not always follow directions well.) Check out Mike's blog at: http://mikekoenigs.com/ Twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/mikekoenigs Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/koenigs
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To: Mike Koenigs From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Tony Robbins Said to contact you directly
Hi Mike, Around the world in 80 days! What a concept! No! Not anymore. These days (2011) it takes about 1 day (give-or-take) to circumnavigate the globe. My point here is obvious. Sometimes ideas once thought “cutting edge” grow old and outdated. So is the case with your own marketing efforts. Video is a passing fad. A Macarena. You know it and I know it. Let me take this opportunity to humbly introduce myself… my name is Casey Porter-Pierce. I have experience writing copies for several WSO’s (including my own) and a college friend’s landscaping business. When would you like me to start re-writing your videos into long form sales letters? I can start almost immediately (wedding this weekend, back Tuesday mid-day) so let me know. WARNING: You are not the only video-obsessed marketer I’ve contacted so hit me back now to ensure first dibs. Thank you, Casey Porter-Pierce

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----- Original Message ----From: Mike Koenigs Sent: 03/10/11 01:17 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Tony Robbins said to contact you directly Hi Casey! Love to know more. Got some samples I can check out? Watch this: www.ContactCrusher.com I’m prepping for a live event this weekend here in San Diego. 600 people coming! No outside speakers. Where do you live? Mike Koenigs Sent from my iPhone. 42 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Thursday, March 10, 2011 4:13 PM To: Mike Koenigs Subject: Re: Tony Robbins said to contact you directly Hi Mike, No way! No way! It can’t be! Can it? Can it really be? Yes, my eyes can’t be fooling me. They are too reliable. --------------------You’ve already guessed it! That is a play-by-play of my emotions on reading your email dated 3/10/11 to my email also typed and mailed on 3/10/11. No predictive model could have foreseen this generous and loving offer you have bestowed my way! You bet I will attend your event this weekend as your personal guest. The honor will be mine! Let’s also find a 5 minute window for me to join you on stage for a pow-wow. That way you can endorse me to the 600 in attendance as “your new ace copywriter”. Please rush me all the hotel details. Thank you. Casey Porter-Pierce 43 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 3:46 PM To: Mike Koenigs Subject: Re: Tony Robbins said to contact you directly Mike, This email is dated 3/16/2011, in response to your email dated (no response), which both were responses to emails dated 3/10/2011. The weekend is approaching at an alarming gallop and I’ve still yet to receive information on how to pick up my free pass. Is there a “Will Call” window at the event? Or will my name, Casey Porter-Pierce (last name must contain hyphen) be in a list somewhere? I know you’re busy but figured I’d send this reminder. Also as a thank you for your generosity I’ve enclosed a brand new logo for your company. Show some grace, Casey, Porter-Pierce PS – You’re welcome.

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Tellman Knudson
Tellman Knudson is a renowned list building expert and developer of the new Internet Selling System… but more importantly, he’s a driven, decent and caring human being. In 2009… Tellman set off to run barefoot (!) from Manhattan to Santa Monica pier. His Herculean endeavor, entitled “Run, Tellman, Run” aims to raise much needed money to help homeless youth throughout America. You can donate here. As you’ll see, Casey has her own unique spin on how she can emulate Tellman…
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To: Tellman Knudson From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Inspired by your amazing run across america...
Dearest Tellman, Shamu... Tellman! Sorry to steal your Shambo sign off, and reconfigure it into a sign on, but you so inspire me, Tellman! Any-whatsit... I recently read about your "run tellman run" movement where you so bravely and boldly attempted to run BAREFOOT across this great nation of ours. And... man o man. To say I was impressed would be the understatement of the year! So much so that I want to do my own version (if you don't mind, of course). I call it... "Drive Casey Drive..." and it's where I (get this) DRIVE barefoot across the tristate area (I live in Maryland). I know it's not as impressive as what you did, but it's me doing my part to help. A part of the net proceeds (after gas and my Activa yogurt) would go to the Baltimore Kitten Rescue. Just wondering if you would have any problem with me following so closely in your shoeless footsteps. Thanks in advance... Show some bearded grace,

Casey Porter-Pierce PS - You look so handsome with a beard it would be a shame if you ever shaved it off!

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----- Original Message ----From: Jeremy Trier Sent: 03/25/11 09:43 AM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Drive Casey Drive Hey Casey, This is Jeremy, Tellman Knudson's assistant. email and he said "drive casey drive"! It's awesome that you got inspired. If you want you can send me some pictures of your drive or eating your yogurt. Have fun, been safe, rock on. I showed Tellman your

Thanks, Jeremy

PS Oh bad news fyi, Tellman shaved his beard and hair off about a year ago :(

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Andy Jenkins
Andy Jenkins may be best known for the creation of his popular Video Boss course — the private coaching program that reveals all his secrets to multi-million-dollar “video launches” — and as one of the savvy minds behind the game-changing Kajabi membership portal. More recently, you can find Andy on his blog at www.andyjenkinsblog.com and in his new free “Beginner’s Luck” video series on how to grow your own online empire. In other words… Andy Jenkins is one busy dude. Yet, as you’ll discover when Casey blows into his life… he showcases a helpful and patient heart. (Even when Casey is making absolutely no sense.)

48 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

To: Andy Jenkins From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim.
Dear Andy, First let me say, "Crap, crap, crap!!! I can't believe I finally found you! My friend, Jenny's brother Kim (yeah, a boy named Kim) knows someone who knows you somehow and anyway, where was I? That's right. I want to first say thank you in advance for responding to this email. It means the world to me. I mean, come on, you're Andy Jenkins for crissake. You don't need to be writing to little old Casey Porter-Pierce. But you did (or will) which is crazy cool. Anyway, focus Casey. Okay, hi, Andy. My name is Casey Porter-Pierce. I'm a new Internet marketing goddess (a term I'm currently coining). And You, well, you know who you are. Only the king of all things Internet related, that's all. Am I right? So, why am I writing you? Well, I said I was a marketing goddess and that was half true. I'm actually a goddess in training. And I want to be the female Andy Jenkins. Ooh, ooh, ooh.... what I could even use a pen name "Andrea Jenkins!" Nice, right? Sorry, just a disjointed thought. Anyhoo. I want to market my product with video and you're the well, you know, the video god. Sorry, this is just so overwhelming to me. I have to focus and just get to it. You're a busy guy. (sigh) So, Andy, how can I make my product even better than it is. Currently the price point is $497 for digial delivery. A few dollars more for physically mailing it out. (which I don't yet know how to do, yet) Thanks again!!! I'm waiting to hear back! Sincerely, Casey (Porter-Pierce) "The Marketing Goddess" "AKA Andrea Jenkins?" 49 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Andy Jenkins Sent: 03/12/11 01:25 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim. Casey (Andrea), LOVED your email! Hey, I'm just away for the weekend in Austin at SXSW. Let's hook up next week and we can talk shiz. Cool? AJ Sent from whatever mobile device I was closest to...

50 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Saturday, March 12, 2011 1:27 PM To: Andy Jenkins Subject: Re: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim. Holy crap! Seriously? You've just made my day, weekend, frick it... you've just made my year! I look forward to hearing from you next week, you god.

Show some grace! Casey Porter-Pierce 51 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 12:57 PM To: Andy Jenkins Subject: Re: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim. Andy, Thank you for responding on 3/12/2011 to my email from earlier that same day 3/12/2011. This message sent on 3/15/2011 is a response to your response (date listed previously). Although I have to admit I waited till Tuesday to give you enough time to get home and settled back in from what I can only assume is a sex cult getaway (SXSW). Sorry, I don't speak anagram. (Is that even an anagram, I don't know this kind of stuff.) Would love to hear your thoughts on making my product better. To recap, it's $497 digital delivery and a few dollars more for physical. I know you must get a ton of emails like this one so I will remind you. My friend Jenny's girly-named brother (Kim) said you were the guy to talk to. I looked you up and you appear to be the absolute most knowledgeable person online when it comes to online. Please help. I want to start advertising my product very soon. I needs me some new Manolos dammit! Sincerest Wishes, Casey (AKA Andrea) 52 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Andy Jenkins Sent: 03/15/11 01:01 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim. Hey Casey! SXSW stands for South By Southwest, and it's a Film/Music/Interactive Web Technologies Festival that's held every year in Austin. Ya pervert. :)

So, let’s set up a time to chat on the phone. What's your schedule look like? What time zone are you in? I need to know more about the product and then we can make some intelligent decisions. Thanks! AJ

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----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Tuesday, March 15, 2011 3:17 PM To: Andy Jenkins Subject: Re: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim. Andy, Andy, Andy, I know SXSW stands for South by Southwest, the interactive web technology thingy and film and stuff in texas. (At least now I do.) Telephones are so impersonal. I so prefer writing. It's what I do and who I am going to do. Wrote my product myself and hope to get you to make it even better. That's the dealio (as Pink might say). My question... or my main question is about the market. Did I hit it right? I mean, right in the kisser or what? Is this a complete and total, devastating, nothingbut-net slam dunk, or something very very slightly less than that? I'm still on the fence about price too. $497... or more? I hear big ticket items are in right now. What about tone? Did I aim too high? Do the videos come across even though they're just silent and set to music? What will Martin Granger think of my launch plan? And will it spoil the ROI of future launches? How will this effect my social networking and twitter status updates, and product's epc? And what about the 80/20 Gepetto Principle? Will that change the outcome we're looking at? If you're in for 5% on the back end, shouldn't you put money into the frontend? I mean, at least a little? Is this model perfect for localization methods, or something even more than perfect? I really need you to help me with these few questions before I even consider taking this to hte next level with you. Capice? (that's "understand?" in Italian) Show some grace,

Casey Porter-Pierce 54 Show some grace! Sign Up For The Latest From Casey: www.TheMoronLetters.com

----- Original Message ----From: Andy Jenkins Sent: 03/15/11 05:06 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim. Hey Casey, Couple of thoughts for you below:
Andy, Andy, Andy, I know SXSW stands for South by Southwest, the interactive web technology thingy and film and stuff in texas. (At least now I do.) Telephones are so impersonal. I so prefer writing. It's what I do and who I am going to do. Wrote might right dunk, my product myself and hope to get you to make it even better. That's the dealio (as Pink say). My question... or my main question is about the market. Did I hit it right? I mean, in the kisser or what? Is this a complete and total, devastating, nothing-but-net slam or something very very slightly less than that?

Casey, it's impossible for me to know if you hit any target at all unless I know something about the product. That's the first thing I need to understand - what is it?
I'm still on the fence about price too. $497... or more? I hear big ticket items are in right now.

Price Points are very much of function of Market Conditions and your personal brand-awarness in the marketplace. If this is your first product, generally I'd recommend that you work first on creating an audience with a freemium product, and then test market your hero product to that list and determine what, if any price resistance there would be to the type and quality of information that you're offering. In other words - a strong beta test is probably in order.
What about tone? Did I aim too high?

Like I said, I need to see the stuff.
Do the videos come across even though they're just silent and set to music?

Send me the links to the promo videos and I'll have a look.
What will Martin Granger think of my launch plan? And will it spoil the ROI of future launches? How will this effect my social networking and twitter status updates, and product's epc?

I personally use Facebook for my friends stuff, but do talk about my marketing goings-on twitter all the time
And what about the 80/20 Gepetto Principle? Will that change the outcome we're looking at?

80% of your sales will always come from 20% of your efforts - the key is finding what 20% are going to make the difference. If I had my druthers, I'd always be focusing on Lead Generation via free info first, then refine the sales process second.
If you're in for 5% on the back end, shouldn't you put money into the frontend? I mean, at least a little?

:) I'm not in for anything yet - and generally speaking that's not the way I work. It's still way early to talk about any kind of profit sharing.
Is this model perfect for localization methods, or something even more than perfect?

Well, If I knew the model... Like I said - first things first, tell me about the product and the promotional stuff you want to do.
I really need you to help me with these few questions before I even consider taking this to hte next level with you. >>>Capice? (that's "understand?" in Italian) Show some grace, Casey Porter-Pierce

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----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Wednesday, March 16, 2011 3:05 PM To: Andy Jenkins Subject: Re: Quick question, Andy. Referred by Kim. Dearest Andy, Wow! You have no idea how much that helped me. I'm of course referring to your email dated 3/15/2011 in response to my email dated 3/15/2011, both of which were responses to our earlier emails dated 3/12/2011 resepectively. Again... wow! You opened my eyes in ways I never thought possible. Thank you for that. I now think I could easily get the $497 for my product, and then some! I don't know how to thank you. Actually... I do. I didn't tell you this earlier, but I am also a professional graphic artist with a specialty in the Lographic arts. This is the art and science of creating logos. To that end I've enclosed a new logo for you my dear friend, Andy. Thank you for your help... you're welcome for my logo... Of course this is gratis. Showing a ton and a half of grace... Casey Porter-Pierce

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Yanik Silver
Starting from his one-bedroom apartment and with just a few hundred dollars… Yanik Silver has built multiple 7-figure businesses. Among many other ventures… Yanik has founded “Maverick Business Adventures” for top entrepreneurs seeking one-of-a-kind experiences with exclusive high-level networking & powerful 'AList' connections. Yanik also runs the infamous “Underground Seminar”… where marketers go to learn from highlevel speakers and rub shoulders with the cream of the IM elite. Needless to say, Casey loved the Underground Seminar, but there was only one problem…
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To: Yanik Silver From: Casey Porter-Pierce
Subject: Help!!! Underground seminar; missing earrings!?!
Hi Yanik, Phew! A full week later and I am STILL exhausted. My brain is sore from all the great speakers. And, yes, even my arse aches from sitting for hours on end. What event has brought me to the brink of exhaustion? It was none other than your Underground Online Seminar in the nation’s National Harbor in Maryland. It was by far the best event I have ever attended, bar one GIANT and perhaps tragic comedy of errors. I am missing a (matching) pair of precious earrings. They are not cheapo knock-off jewelry you can buy at your local Target (or as the French call it, “Target.”) These earrings hold tremendous meaning for me. They were bestowed to me by my dear mother on her death bed. Her last words were, “Casey, before I die you must promise to give me grandchildren. And, on your first daughter’s wedding day, I want her to have these. The earrings your father gave me.” Unfortunately, I blew it on all fronts. They are very pretty earrings and I couldn’t help but wear them myself. Only now my earrings have mysteriously vanished and all I have left are my cats. I feel rotten. A complete and utter disappointment. By any chance are you aware of any missing earrings being reported? I was sat on the right side in the third row next to a tall sweaty man who was on his Ipad non-stop. If you can find these earrings, you will forever be my hero!!! Thank you in advance, Casey Porter-Pierce P.S. If you check for my name in your list of registered guests you won’t find me. This is because I live only two hours away in Cumberland, Maryland and secretly “crashed” things without your permission. Please don’t hold it against me. You are by far my favorite marketer of all time and I know (in time) you will see sense and forgive me.

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----- Original Message ----From: Yanik Silver Sent: 03/13/11 01:04 PM To: Casey Porter-Pierce Subject: Re: Help!!! Underground seminar; missing earrings!?! Casey Sorry - I'll check around. You should try calling the hotel too. I appreciate your honesty about coming out. -Yanik

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----- Original Message ----From: Casey Porter-Pierce Sent: Monday, March 14, 2011 2:57 PM To: Yanik Silver Subject: Re: Help!!! Underground seminar; missing earrings!?! Dear Yanik, Thank you so much for your response to my email sent 3/12/11 (actually written on 3/11/11) with your own email of 3/13/11 (I have no idea when you wrote it). It means the world to me. After receiving your email, I could not sleep a wink. I knew your advice was spot on. So, in the middle of the night I rushed back to the convention center. I am lucky; thank god no policemen were on the road because they would have taken away my license for sure! I went straight to the lost and found. And you will slap yourself silly because I indeed found what I had lost. Yes, they had my earrings! I am the luckiest woman in the world and I owe it all to YOU. Mr. Yanik Silver! If it wasn’t for your advice I would never have gone back to the hotel, I was in such dismay. But, that’s not all that happened on my trip. While I was there “lightning struck.” I had an idea. People lose their belongings all the time. They lose hats, they lose socks, they lose shirts, they lose keys, they lose gloves, they lose scarfs, they lose construction gloves, they lose books, they lose gardening gloves, they lose cell chargers, they lose surgical gloves, they lose antique orange lamps, and you know. What I am trying to say is… we lose stuff all of the time. So here’s my idea. Wouldn’t it be great to create a product on how to find stuff? As we speak I’ve already posted a job on Elance to get an e-book written. I am also thinking there could be a great piece of software in this. Of course, you don’t even have to ask. You’re in for a full 50%. I’ll do all the work. Don’t worry about it and you get to be my full partner. Now that’s a deal! Yours truly, Casey Porter-Pierce P.S. Maybe since we’re partners you can work on what the software is?

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