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Party Puppies

Party Puppies

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Published by Riley Hamilton
The first 30 pages of a new screenplay written by myself and Peter Salmon.
The first 30 pages of a new screenplay written by myself and Peter Salmon.

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Published by: Riley Hamilton on Apr 03, 2011
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PARTY PUPPIES by Peter Salmon and Riley Hamilton

EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY Dash, a 2 year old black Chihuahua, runs next to a pair of red and white sneakers. The sneakers are obviously on their last legs. Greg, a tall fit man in his early 30's, is jogging down a suburban sidewalk next to Dash. The streets are lined with classic colonial inspired houses, not an unkempt lawn in sight. His cell phone rings. Greg stops running, checks his phone and sighs. GREG Hello, Mr. Liston. What's going on? INT. BUSINESS OFFICE - DAY Mr. Liston, a balding, fast talking, get what he wants guy, talks on his phone at his desk as he shoos his secretary away. The kind of boss who works on Saturdays. MR. LISTON Greg, my buddy, my favorite employee, you'll never guess what happened? EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY GREG No matter what it is, I'm sure it's bad news for me. Never good when you call from you on a Saturday. INT. BUSINESS OFFICE - DAY MR. LISTON Greg, you know me too well. Don't think of it as a chore, think of it as a business opportunity. Evan isn't able to go to this weekend's sale's conference and you're all I've got left. Say you're my man, Greg. EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY GREG Uhhh...My wife...uhh parents INT. BUSINESS OFFICE - DAY MR. LISTON

Greg, the plane leaves in three hours. You're on it. Bring your wife, she'll love the getaway. EXT. SUBURBAN STREET - DAY GREG Yes sir. I'm on it. Greg ends the call and puts the phone in his pocket. He notices the heel of his shoe is flapping. GREG This is a bad day, huh Dash? A barely-there smirk curls onto Dash's mischievous face. CUT TO INT. BEDROOM - DAY Greg is in one of the homes on the suburban street where he had just been running. His home. Greg's in a tiff with his wife, Sarah, who is agitated about the news. Greg hurriedly packs a suitcase as Sarah watches, stroking Nounouche, a large, hairy cat with cold eyes. SARAH And what are we going with the pets? Greg looks up as he throws some shirts into the suitcase. GREG Well Nounouche can take care of herself - she's a cat. Honey, get some stuff together. I need you there. SARAH And what about Dash? Camera pans to Dash, looking back and forth between bickering owners. GREG We can ask Jeanette. She owes us. Sarah puts down Nounouche and picks up a phone, handing it to Greg after she had already dialed. SARAH Fine. But you gotta ask her. Greg grabs the phone out of Sarah's hand. The phone is ringing. GREG Ok, deal. Now you get your stuff together, we have to leave in an hour. (into the phone) Jeanette how

are you? INT. NEXT DOOR HOUSE - DAY Jeanette is paiting her nails, balancing the phone with her shoulder to her ear. In a vibrating massage chair, recovering from Lasik surgery. She has temporary shades on. A bottle of painkillers sit on the end table next to her. JEANETTE (Slightly slurring) Who is this?... Oh Greg... of course I'll watch that wonderful puppy... Feed him once a day...Uh huh. And he can do his business himself. I've got it. You'll have to excuse me Greg I have something in the oven... Bye dear, have a wonderful trip. INT. BEDROOM - DAY Greg hangs up the phone. SARAH Are you sure that woman can handle it? GREG Yes, what's there to handle? (looking at Dash) He's the best dog there is. A piece of cake. Greg starts to put the ratty red and white sneakers into his suitcase. Sarah catches him. SARAH Greg, you really need to throw those ratty things out. Greg looks at his shoes. GREG I can't. This was my first design that I ever got made. She gives him a questioning and flippant look, rolling her eyes. INT. HALLWAY - DAY Greg is kissing Dash on the head while holding his suitcase in one hand. Sarah is cooing to Nounouche as she exits the house. GREG Alright boy, this is it. Be a good puppy while I'm gone. I know you

will be. Greg picks Dash up and pets him on the head. Then sets him down and walks out the door. Beat. Once the car starts up, Dash runs to the window on the couch. Almost as if making sure they are gone. Nounouche is up above on top of a bookcase watching Dash look out the window. NOUNOUCHE I hope you aren't getting any wild ideas, Dash DASH (closing up towards his face) I wouldn't dream of it. (slyly) THE TITLE CARD COMES ZOOMING IN SCREECHING "PARTY PUPPIES" WITH BLACK EYES PEAS BLARING IN THE BACKGROUND. Boom Boom Pow. EXT. BACKYARD - EVENING Dash bolts out of the doggie door like a rocket ship. He tears through the picturesque back yard. Dash jumps over a lawn chair, passing by the well-maintained pool. DASH Long jump! (as he clears the chair with ease) Man, I'm good! He picks up a discarded frisbee in his mouth and throws it into a birdfeeder. BIRD #1 Hey we're eatin' ovah here (in a brooklyn accent) BIRD #2 Donnie, don't get angry. You know you can't raise your blood pressure. DONNIE You're right honey. I love you more than anything. DASH (continuing to run) Ewwww, two lovebirds! Dash runs to the only bush that stands out in the back corner of the yard. A large wooden fence is ecompases the entire yard. Dash crawls under the bush and with his teeth grabs a giant branch that is blocking the hole that he had previously dug, unbeknowest to his owners. Dash reemerges on the other side of the fence in an alley way between two houses. In front of him is a neighboring fence.

DASH Huckleberry! Get out here buddy? I've got the best news! Huck! Huck! We hear a collar rustling on the other side and then a big head belonging to HUCKLEBERRY, a medium-sized Beagle,€ appears under the fence. While his head is still stuck under the fence he begins to talk with Dash. HUCKLEBERRY I was eating Dash! This better be good. Not like one of your lame practical jokes. DASH Fine Mr. Grumpy, I guess you don't want to be invited to the most amazing party I've ever thrown. Huckleberry runs out of his hole faster than you can imagine and shakes himself off. HUCKLEBERRY What do you mean you're throwing a party?! What will your humans think? DASH Huck, brace yourself. My humans are gone for entire weekend and I have the whole place to myself. Huckleberry's ears perk up as if he just saw a big cat. HUCKLEBERRY (licking his lips) You're joking, right? (He begins to spin in circles) DASH It's for realsies. I'm gonna invite every dog in the neighborhood Huckleberry stops spinning. HUCKLEBERRY Every dog? You don't mean Daisy to, do you? DASH Especially Daisy. HUCKLEBERRY Dash, she doesn't want anything to do with a mutt like you. After you embarrassed yourself last time at obendience school.

DASH Yeah I know. That's why I need to redeem myself and throw the greatest party this town's ever seen. HUCKLEBERRY Alright Dash. If you think so. DASH I know so. Tell everyone, the party's tonight. It's BYOB. Bring Your Own Bone. MGMT starts playing. INT. KITCHEN - DAY Dash is on top on the kitchen table pouring a bag of treats onto the table. There are balloons hanging around the house that have paw prints on them. The banner is also scripted in paw prints. Nounouche slyly comes into the kitchen and jumps onto the counter top. She clears her throat to get Dash's attention. Dash doesn't hear her at first so she clears her throught, accidentally hacking up a furball. Dash looks up. DASH Can I help you? NOUNOUCHE What do you think you're doing? Dash spreads the treats around the table, making a defacto party platter. DASH Setting up for my par-tay. Sorry, no cats allowed. We don't have enough kitty litter. Cat-aclysmic. NOUNOUCHE I don't want any part of this anyways, Dash. If you're going to have a party here I'm leaving. DASH Adios! (singsongingly) Nounouche jumps off the counter and mutters to herself. NOUNOUCHE All dogs are the same. EXT. DOG PARK - DAY Huckleberry runs around a dog park. Yelling. HUCKLEBERRY Party tonight! Dash's owners are

gone! BE THERE! All the other dogs in the park perk up and start going wild. Some start barking, some start yelping, others are jumping up and down. OWNER #1 (POSSIBLY MIKE MYERS) What's gotten into these dogs? Oh behave! EXT. PARK - DAY Three beautiful dogs are on their backs in the grass. They are giggling. GIRL DOG #1 Can you believe Sassy broke up with Chance? GIRL DOG #2 Right after they came back from San Francisco? GIRL DOG #3 They always seemed BOUND to break up to me. Huckleberry is in mid-run and then screeches to a halt, comically producing a cloud of dust, when he sees the three sunbathing beauties. HUCKLEBERRY Well, hello ladies. (a'la Jack Black in Saving Silverman) What are you girls up to? GIRL DOG #1 Not hanging out with you. GIRL DOG #2 Definitely not. We don't talk to horn-dogs. HUCKLEBERRY Would you change your mind if this old horn-dog knew of a huge party? All three girl dogs sit up. GIRL DOG #3 You wouldn't know of a huge party if it jumped up and bit you on the tail. HUCKLEBERRY Alright then suit yourself. More bones for us. The girls all look at each other.

GIRL DOG #1 Okay, say there is a party. Where would one find it? GIRL DOG #2 And what time is at?! Huckleberry runs off smiling. GIRL DOG #1 Huuuuuck.... (pleadingly) As Huckleberry runs away he begins to scream. HUCKLEBERRY It's....at....DASH'S!!!!!!! GIRL DOG #1 Oh my god I love Dash parties GIRL DOG #2 (interupting) How am I going to sneak out? GIRL DOG #3 Name your favorite color. FADE OUT

EXT. BEHIND A RESTAURANT - DAY Huckleberry runs behind a fine dining restaurant where dogs have gathered to eat scraps. A group of Poodles with traditional haircuts are eating. PIERRE Mmmhm. They have the absolute best scraps here. JAQUES Pass the escargo, si vous plait. SCRUFFY Why are we never eating pizza? HUCKLEBERRY (running through the alley not stopping for a moment) Pierre, Jaques, Scruffy! Dash is having a party tonight. Be there or beeeeeee sqquuuuuuare (trailing off) Down the alley, hidden from the Poodles and Huckleberry is a large blue dumpster where three mean-looking dogs are having their own lunch. KRAZY-BONE, the leader, a doberman with a tiny piece of ear missing, LAYZIE-BONE, a fat Rottweiller,

and BIZZY-BONE, a German Shepherd. BIZZY-BONE (Food dropping out of his mouth) Did you hear that Krazy-Bone? That lapdog Dash is throwing himself a shin-dig tonight. KRAZY-BONE continues to eat without looking up. LAYZIE-BONE A shin-what? This is really good slop. BIZZY-BONE A party, you dingbat! LAYZIE-BONE Oh, I like parties! And don't call me a dingbat! Layzie-Bone shoves Bizzy-Bone. Krazy looks up from his gruel. KRAZY-BONE Cut it out! Layzie and Bizzy speak in unison LAYZIE BONE AND BIZZY BONE Yes sir. LAYZIE-BONE Can we go to the party, boss? KRAZY-BONE (ominously) Oh we're going all right. I never miss a party.

Layzie and Bizzy laugh menancingly. EXT. DASH'S HOUSE - NIGHT We see dogs running towards a lit house on the street. Loud music and barking are emitting from the party. INT. DASH'S HOUSE - NIGHT The doggie door lifts up and a few dogs are making their way into the party. The camera turns around and we see a wild party underway. RANDOM DOG (someone screams) Ohhhhhh. PEPPER'S HERE!

Pepper walks up to the random dog and they greet each other. We see Dash with Huckleberry. Dash is wearing a backwards hat and sunglasses. They are making the rounds and flirting with every dog. RANDOM RAT TERRIER Hey Dash, that's my sister. Stop flirting with her. DASH My party, my rules. BULLDOG Hey Dash, thanks for inviting me. DASH You know it, dude. Nothing could stop me from throwing this party. All of a two dogs grab a pole in their mouths and Dash screams. DASH Limbo! How low can you go. "How Low" by Ludacris starts playing. All the dogs start screaming "Limbo". One dog comes out of a room wearing a toga. Every dog takes turns going under the limbo pole. Around the party, other dogs are enjoying themselves. Two dogs are on top of the kitchen table dancing to the music. Another dog is jumping up and down on the couch. In the corner, two other dogs are playing catch with a tennis ball. Back and forth between their mouths. A different dog is slopping up water from the kitchen faucet which is on full blast. Water is spewing everywhere. He is drinking a lot of water, unsurpervised. One dogs is just doing flips in the corner. Two dogs are playing tug-of-war with a sock. RANDOM DOG #2 I never want to stop partying! RANDOM DOG #3 Someone give this guy another bone! In the living room, three lazy looking dogs are watching Animal Planet on TV. The three sunbathing dogs, now with bows in their hair, are sitting in the corner of the room, passing judgment on everyone. GIRL DOG #1

Look at Pepper, I bet he didn't even take a bath. GIRL DOG #2 (referring to the flipping dog) Totally. And look at Sir Flips-A-Lot. What a spazoid. GIRL DOG #3 I think he's cute. GIRL DOG #1 Yeah me too. The doorbell rings and the camera turns to the front door. The party goes silent. DOG #1 What's going on? DOG #2 The humans are back! Everybody scram! The dogs stop what they're doing and everyone starts to hurry to the doggy door. Sherlock, a massive Great Dane yells out the the panicked dogs. SHERLOCK Everybody stop! All the dogs freeze in place. DOG #1 Sherlock, we gotta get outta here. SHERLOCK If you leave now, you won't get any of the pizza that I ordered. DOG #2 Pizza? SHERLOCK Yeah, I'll be right back. Sherlock squeezes himself out the doggy door. We hear a large barks come from the outside. A man begins to yell. PIZZA MAN Settle down, boy. Let's not be hasty! Just take it! (from outside) Sherlock's head bursts through the doggie door. SHERLOCK Who wantsa piece of pizza (in an italian accent)

All the dogs run through the door, pushing and shoving. Then come back again with huge slices of thick, cheesy, dripping pizza. Someone knocks over a bag of bones on the ground. RANDOM DOG Whooooaaa Puppy foul! A big dog comes over and starts eating all the bones. RANDOM DOGS BONES! BONES! BONES! BONES! BONES! (as if saying Chug!) All of a sudden the music gets slower and an attractive lean girl dog comes in through the doogie door. This is DAISY, the girl that got away from Dash. Immediately all the dogs heads turn and the two dogs drop the limbo pole (OR SOME OTHER ACTIVITY). The flipping dog stops. He has been flipping for ten minutes. GIRL DOG #1 I can't believe she showed up. She looks good though. GIRL DOG #2 Yeah, I think she got a haircut. Her humans are loaded. Dash's sunglasses fall off his face and his hat turns to the front. Daisy sees Dash and immediately turns away to her own corner of the party. DASH I can't believe she came. She must still have feelings for me. HUCKLEBERRY After what you did at that obedience school, I'm surprised anyone still has feelings for you. DASH I've gotta go talk to her. HUCKLEBERRY Have another bone while you think about it. Dash grabs a bone from the pile on the floor and Huckleberry thinks he's taking his advice, then grabs one more and trots over to Daisy. Dash drops the bones under the coach next to Daisy. She has her back to him. He slides up behind her and tries to get her attention. DASH (mock warning) Watch out for that cat!

Daisy turns her head and growls, irritated to find that it's only Dash behind her. She had fallen for his prank. DAISY Still up to your old puppy pranks, huh Dash? DASH €Still the same old me. Just enjoying the puppy pleasures in life. DAISY I know all about you, Dash. Well if you'll excuse me, I heard there were bones at this party. DASH Taken care of. Dash puts his nose under the coach and nudges the two bones over to Daisy. DASH For you. Although Daisy tries to hide it, she can't help being flattered by this gesture. Dash remembered how much she likes bones. DAISY Oh great, a used treat. You sure know how to woo a lady. DASH Have you seen the pool here? EXT. BACKYARD - NIGHT Dash is leading Daisy to the glowing pool. Dogs are splashing around jumping in and out of the pool. We see a line of collars on the edge of the pool - the dogs are skinny dipping. One of the dogs in the pool yells at Dash and Daisy. POOL DOG Get in here you two, the water's perfect! DASH I don't know if we feel like swimming tonight. Dash looks back at Daisy to confirm his decision, and sees that she's holding her collar in her mouth. Daisy then drops the collar on the concrete and jumps into the pool. DAISY

Oh, come on, Dash. I thought you were Mr. Backwards Hat! DASH I am! With his right paw, Dash wiggles out of his collar and cannonballs into the pool! Daisy and Dash splash each other flirtatiously. Music plays. INT. DASH'S HOUSE - NIGHT Cut to the doggie door. We hear some arguing and growling on the other side of the door. Then Layzie-Bone's head pops in and then he struggles to fit in the small door. Eventually he manages to squirt himself out. LAYZIE-BONE We're here. Someone get me a bone ASAP. Bizzy is next in the line-up. He makes his way easily through the door. BIZZY-BONE Where are the cute pups? And then lastly, Krayzee-Bone pops through with an angered look. KRAZY-BONE Let's get this party started! Krazy-Bone smiles for the first time of the night. INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT A group of dogs are gathered in a circle playing spin the bottle. A young pup gets up and spins the bottle in the center of the circle, Layzie, Bizzy, and Krazyee walk up to the group. The bottle lands on one of the female dogs, and the male puppy that spun the bottle gets up and heads over to kiss her. Before their snouts touch, Bizzy jumps in the way. BIZZY-BONE Sorry Pup, the lady wants a real dog to kiss. Bizzy plants a fat, wet kiss on the female dog. The female dog jumps back in terror. FEMALE DOG Ewwww! Gross! That's not allowed. BIZZY-BONE This party is BO-RING! Bizzy cuts through the spin the bottle circle and starts to

run at top speed through the living room running around in circles. Lazie finds a communal bowl of bones in the living room and proceeds to stick his head in the pile and eats all the bones. Another skinny greyhound dog begins to stare at Krazy-Bone, recognizing him as the leader of these Thugz. Kraz stares back. KRAZY-BONE What are you looking at? GREYHOUND Oh, uh. Nothing. KRAZY-BONE Then why don't you scoot on out of here. The greyhound immediately scoots on his butt away from Krazy-Bone all the way to the back of the house, off camera. Krazy is standing next to a small end table. Wanting to join in on the mayhem, he knocks the end table over with his back leg. There is a loud crash. Everyone at the party looks worried. KRAZY-BONE Oopsie daisies. All three of the Bone Thugz laugh. We do a slow pan towards Huck who is witnessing all of the carnage. As Huck looks towards the Thugz, the greyhound scoots by through the camera's view. Huck shakes his head and runs towards the doogie door to get Dash. EXT. BACKYARD - NIGHT Dash and Daisy are having the time of their lives. The dogs are playing their own version of Marco Polo, "Dog Catcher." One dog is floating at the top of the water. FLOATING DOG Dooooog! ALL DOGS IN POOL Catcherrrr! (in unison) Huck runs outside and see Daisy and Dash are in the corner giggling. HUCKLEBERRY Dash! The Bone Thugz are absolutely out of control in your house. They

are chrashing the party and definitely harshing my mellow. (tentative slang) Dash looks at Daisy then back at Huck. DASH I'm kind of busy here, Huck. Is it something you can take care of. HUCKLEBERRY (trembling) Layzee is eating all of the bones. DAISY Oh noooooo! Dash jumps out of the pool urgently and shakes off. DASH Don't worry, Daisy. I'll take care of this. Dash and Huckleberry run towards the house. FLOATING DOG Dog out of water! INT. DASH'S HOUSE - NIGHT Dash runs into the living room followed closely by Huck and Daisy. Krazy-Bone has a DVD case in his mouth in the living room. The dogs on the couch formerly watching Animal Planet are now huddled together and shaking. SHAKING CHIHUAHUA You can't put that on! DASH (knowing the answer) What's the DVD you got there? Krazy-Bone turns his head slowly. KRAZY-BONE Matrix...Reloaded DASH But that's rated R. KRAZY-BONE I know. Krazy continues to walk towards the DVD player.

DASH Krazy, I think it's time you and your gang leave this party. Huck chimes in. HUCKLEBERRY Yeah! You were never invited in the first place. Besides that movie is a hard "R". KRAZY-BONE Who's going to make me? Dash walks slowly towards Krazy-Bone in order to confront him. Their faces almost touch and the two dogs begin to spin slowly in a circle sizing each other up. Right at the height of tension the door knob begins to rattle. Keys jingle outside. All the dogs at the party get a look of shock on their faces. Dash looks over towards the kitchen. DASH Sherlock, did you order another pizza? Sherlock lefts his head up from an empty pizza box. He looks sick. SHERLOCK Wasn't me. DASH Humans! Everybody hide. Everyone including Krazy hide behind the nearest objects. Jeanette swings open the door. Wearing large black temporary sunglasses and a white bathrobe, she is still a mess. As she walk inside the house, she trips over the doorway. JEANETTE Dash, help me out here. Dash walks up to her and makes a noise, letting her know that he's next to here. JEANETTE Thank you, Dash. You're a good boy. Now take me to you doggie bowl. Dash begins to lead Jeanette through the living room. As they walk the camera uncovers a hilarious array of hiding dogs. One dog is in a large vase with his head popping out. Another dog is on top of the mantle, mimicking a pose of a statue on the mantle. A dog underneath him pops his head out of the fireplace - he is upside down. Another big dog has hidden himself underneath a rug, producing a very conspicuous bumb.

Jeanette manages to stumble into the kitchen. She finds a bag of bones sitting on the counter-top and presumes that it's Dash's food that Greg and Sarah left out. As she pores out the bones, she talks to Dash. JEANETTE Poor puppy. I hope you're not getting lonely here, all by yourself. Dash whimpers, playing the part of the abandoned dog. JEANETTE Well, I guess I could take you home with me... Dash, looking worried, runs away from her. JEANETTE Story of my life. Jeanette stumbles back to the front door. All the dogs are still hiding. Dash walks up to the front door. JEANETTE Ok, puppy. Take care. The front door closes. A dog falls from the ceiling onto the ground. The dogs all sigh in relief that the human is gone. Suddenly, there is a loud thumping up the stairs as all three Bone Thugz go upstairs. DASH You are not allowed up there! My humans hate that! We hear the three Thugz giggling upstairs. DAISY Dash, be careful. Those aren't puppies. DASH Don't worry about it. I can handle those crumb bums. You comin' Huck? HUCKLEBERRY You don't have to ask me twice. Dash and Huck bundle up the stairs while the scared puppies decide to start up the party again. Huck and Dash climb up the stairs slowly. The camera follows their perspective not allowing us to see what the three dogs are up to. Dash makes his way in front and we see the hind legs of the three dogs in the master's closet. Shoes are strewn out of the closet. DASH What are you mangy animals doing? Get out of there.

The dogs ignore him and continue to focus on something in the back of the closet. DASH I said get out of there! KRAZY-BONE This is the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Krazy-Bone walks out of the closet with the master's favorite shoe design in his mangy mouth. Layzee Bone and Bizzy Bone are in awe. Before Dash can do anything, Krazy-Bone, Bizzy Bone and Layzee Bone all race down the stairs and run through the doggy door leading outside. Dash starts to scream.

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