P. 1
How FK Lost His MOJO -- A story of pure speculation

How FK Lost His MOJO -- A story of pure speculation

|Views: 71|Likes:
Published by brianadrian
Internet marketing legend FK roasted for your pleasure.
Internet marketing legend FK roasted for your pleasure.

More info:

Published by: brianadrian on Apr 26, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


Read on Scribd mobile: iPhone, iPad and Android.
download as PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
See more
See less





The FK Prophecy: Internet Marketing by Divination A.K.A. How FK Lost His Mojo – A Story of Pure Speculation by I.M. Jester A.K.A.

Mini FK (Every King needs a jester, every villain needs a Mini Me) Copyright © 2011 I.M. Jester -All Rights Reserved You have permission to share this document provided none of its contents are changed and no money is charged. NO...you WILL NOT make a million dollars because you possess this ebook, although, you may make a million dollars in the long term (OR NEVER! THE ODDS ARE NEVER!) if the intended “victim” finally gets it, though no guarantees and/or warranties are expressed or implied. So share. It's free. Once upon a time...just the other day (2 + years ago!) FK and JR fed themselves on the grass of the field. It was any normal day. FK, as usual, was on his rear; JR, as usual, was on his feet. FK, chewing with a grind, moved forward – dragging his butt – slowly, and only when his neck could stretch no further. JR's movements more resembled Achilles, his chewing done with intent, his mind impetuous and ready for immediate action. .1

Through his peripheral view JR glimpsed a vast mountain in the distance; his head swiveled, “Hey, where did that come from? Wait a minute, I think I've heard of this...this must be the fabled mountain of seven sacred social stones.” “FK! Look!” JR motioned towards the mountain. “It is fabled near the top of that mountain are seven sacred social stones, and atop the mountain peak itself, hidden in those clouds,” JR pointed with a finger, “sits the hidden social guru.” “Myth.” FK snorted, then made funny noises children often do to ridicule their friends. “Social fairies have come to save us, pft! HOGWASH.” JR continued on without even giving FK the satisfaction of seeing any effect from his ridicule of JR's obvious learning in these areas. “It is also said everything the hidden social guru sets his eyes upon...IS.” “More Myth.” FK grunted, bored and clearly uninterested, “Poppycock.” At that moment JR decided to scout ahead alone, “It will take me a month of sundays if I try to convince FK, then it will take me another month of sundays dragging him along...FK will be fine.” After one final glance back at all his friends in the herd, JR set his sights for a new adventure and with swiftness was soon at the base of the mountain. Others were waiting, not for him, just waiting. Sitting around in small groups. Sitting around alone. Some were on their feet and milled about aimlessly. Others gently grazed. A few whispered of a hidden guru they could not describe, a few others spoke of mystical powers acquired by reaching the very top of the mountain. Still others discussed .2

what this wonder was or if it really was anything at all. JR was flabbergasted by their ignorance. “It's the base of a mountain you silly people! And mountains are for climbing!” For seven days and seven nights JR journeyed, and seven times seven. The path began to thin as did the air. Onward and upward. Up and up JR pushed forward. The view indescribable. He could feel something in the very wind. Something magical. “FK has to see, feel, think, know this. Between the two of us this mountain doesn't stand a chance.” And back down the mountain JR went. For seven days and seven nights JR journeyed, and seven times seven. Downward and ground word. Down and down JR went. Past the people at the bottom of the hill. “Hey, some enterprising individuals built a small town, I didn't notice that on my way up.” JR found FK right where he left him, but was so winded by his journey and excited by the possibilities dancing in his mind, he could only push out a few words which fell on FK in hype sounding chunks. “He drank the __-__,” was one of FK's thoughts, “Fantastic delusions,” was another, “Look around. All this is ours. I'm FK, why do I need to go galloping around chasing clouds and pipe dreams? This is my domain, no one can challenge me.” “What about the future? I hear those who climb the mountain of the seven sacred social stones acquire mystical powers.” “But we already have mystical powers.” “Couldn't we just add these new mystical powers to our current wizardry?” .3

“I'm still not convinced, but if you say so, I guess I can “check it out”. And we all know what that means. ;-) After ascending one fifth of the distance JR travailed the first time, and even with the faithful herd dutifully following slowly behind, FK declared: “O.K. I'm here! See, I knew it wasn't that big of a deal.” With that he plopped on his rear and began munching a near-by flower. By this time JR was in a state of complete exasperation. “It's like pulling a mule!” He declared to himself. An so, once again, it was JR ascending the mountain alone. Onward and upward. Up and up JR pushed forward. For seven days and seven nights JR journeyed, and seven times seven. And then he came to a spot where he needed a hand. Normally, he would of forced his way upward, but JR was beyond exhausted. He couldn't go any further despite the feeling of failure creeping over him. “Awww FK!” JR shouted, shaking his fist in futility. “I should put LAZY in front of FK when I think of him. Yep...LAZY FK. BIG FAT LAZY FK. He just doesn't get it. Some master controller. He's ruining everything! We could completely dominate and set the standard for the future of online marketing but he REFUSES to see social media IS the modern web!” As sleep overcame him, JR once more waved his fist in defiance, this time to the very gods, “GD DM FK! If you would just get it through your big thick head!” There we leave JR, cold, hungry, alone. Abandoned by the one he counts on the most. DISCRACEFUL. Before you cry yourself to sleep praying for JR, before you create a sad song with your one stringed guitar, tell FK what he should do, then all of us will pretend that he already knew. .4

Maybe you can help us open up FK to fulfill destiny. Tell FK what he should do (I hear he LOVES to be told what to do [JR told me in a vision, I think, but maybe I jest]). You must be logged into twitter to share one of the following: A) Learn social media master controlling FK => http://bit.ly/hD7pKo OR B) LAZY FK, Give up and go away already! => http://bit.ly/eu3HKM P.S. You know he needs it JR. Share at will.

!Attention rebel artists!
Feel free to craft cartoons and/or caricatures of FK and/or JR and their journey. Send art or links to art → imjester@live.com Not artistically inclined? Make a video taunting FK or begging him to wake up, then send the link to imjester@live.com and your link will be posted on Twitter and shared in future issues/postings of The FK Prophecy. Help us spread the word by including http://bit.ly/fwAEnT in your video description. ...to be continued More FK here →

Mass Control Revealed

Feel free to attache this to any emails you send to I.M. Types. Will give them something to laugh about today.


You're Reading a Free Preview

/*********** DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE ! ************/ var s_code=s.t();if(s_code)document.write(s_code)//-->