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Inner Game Sticking Points

Inner Game Sticking Points

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Published by Tobias Blass

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Published by: Tobias Blass on May 01, 2011
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  • Sticking Point #1: You Become a “Nice Guy”
  • Sticking Point #2: You “Get in Your Head”….Becoming Unclear and Foggy
  • Sticking Point #3: “Wallflower”
  • Sticking Point #4: She Becomes Your “Captive Audience”
  • Sticking Point #5: You Become ‘Slimy’
  • Sticking Point #6: You Become “Pushy”
  • Sticking Point #7: You Become a Doormat
  • Sticking Point #8: You Become Attached to How She Responds to You
  • Sticking Point #9: You Become Easily Shaken

The Ultimate Guide to Inner-Game Sticking Points

(...and how to get Unstuck)

Legal notice
Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.authenticmanprogram.com

Copyright: copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program. All rights reserved. No part of this document or the related files may be reproduced or transmitted in any form, by any means (electronic, photocopying, recording, or otherwise). Authentic Man Program is a trademark. Limit of Liability and Disclaimer of Warranty: The publisher has used its best efforts in preparing this book, and the information provided herein is provided “as is.” By reading this e-book you agree to all the following: you understand that this is simply a set of opinions (and not advice). This is to be used for entertainment, and not considered as “professional advice”. You are responsible for any use of the information in this e-book, and hold Authentic Man Program and all its members and affiliates in amnesty of any claim or event.

Bryan Bayer, AMP co-founder Travis Decker, AMP co-founder Garrison Cohen, AMP partner

Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.authenticmanprogram.com

The contents of this book are derived from personal, hands on work with hundreds men overcoming the “Inner Game” obstacles that get in the way of having profound, amazing interactions and relationships with women. We have found that many men get stopped in similar places. By reading this, you'll get more insight into your own sticking points (the places where you get stopped). These principles apply to any stage of interacting with women, whether you are dating, looking for a girlfriend, a single wild night of passion and play, a life partner or bringing more to your current relationship. Awareness = Choice The first step to getting unstuck is always, first and foremost, more awareness about how you are stuck. When you have more awareness about how you get stuck, a different choice becomes available. Therefore, with each sticking point, we offer an exercise that you can practice to get more awareness. So, let's begin.

What Is Feminine Radiance?
There she is… a goddess; a sexy, gorgeous creature, full of vitality and sensuality. And, just as much as we are drawn to her, we also feel a pit in our stomach…fear. As men, we love feminine radiance. It can also scare the bejesus out of us. Feminine radiance doesn’t always mean the glowing, loving, alluring, warmth of a woman’s inner essence. It takes all forms. A woman can be spitting venom at you and be fully in her feminine radiance. She can be crying like a little girl and be fully in her feminine radiance. She can be laughing, screaming, purring, fuming, moaning, raging or whispering and still be in her feminine radiance. Feminine radiance is simply the full-blown outward expression of her feminine power. The more radiant a woman is the more men are attracted to her. BUT . . . it doesn’t mean that men will approach her.

Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.authenticmanprogram.com

How This Glow Creates “Approach Anxiety”
There is something about feminine radiance that makes us feel as if our circuits are overloading. When we resist that feeling, we unconsciously close down and as a result we experience what is referred to as “approach anxiety”. I’ll explain more about what it means to close down in just a moment. However, in the meantime, the secret to truly overcoming approach anxiety is to learn to be with a lot of feminine radiance the same way you learn to let go to urinate. I know, I apologize for that analogy already but here’s the thing: when you’re taking a whiz you have to relax in a very particular way and allow it to flow on out of you. When you are with woman who is radiant she can feel you tense up. She can feel you resisting her. She can feel you holding back. But when you are calm and relaxed and letting it flow through you, she will notice. So, in order to avoid feeling what men experience as “overwhelm,” they will react in one of three different ways:

Withdraw – Control – Adapt
These three reactions have their own distinct flavors & impacts on your 'game'.

Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.authenticmanprogram.com

overwhelmed by the intensity of her feminine radiance and your desire for her. you have Withdrawn.Withdrawal When you pull away from a Woman.authenticmanprogram. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.com .

com . Lenny Kravitz is a celebrity. without minimizing yourself In the Now – An intimate awareness of your life unfolding.Sticking Points 1-3: Withdrawal These first three Inner Game sticking points all relate to ways we withdraw under a high-pressure situation with a woman. Somehow everyone at the party notices him. You Get In Your Head 3. not ‘checked out’ or up in your head Owning your Space – You are aware of yourself and the environment around you. and all 3 are solved by cultivating one thing: Presence Presence What do we mean by “Presence”? • In Your Body – feeling the desire and sensations in your body.authenticmanprogram. Let’s say you’re at a party and Lenny Kravitz walks into the room. Now. You Become a “Nice Guy” 2. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. moment to moment • • Presence is the first stage in our Inner Game Training Model Let’s think of an example of men who have an abundance of presence. We try to get away from the intensity of the situation by pulling away in one form or another. Which ones resonate for you? 1. and it’s not hard to notice people who are in the international spotlight. You Become a “Wallflower” These are some of the most common we experience with the men we have worked with.

let’s take it even one step farther. There are stages beyond this that we cover in our other materials. If this work speaks to you then you’ll definitely want to check out our DVD set and illustrated training manual on “The Power of Presence. And yes. Without all the outer layers of hip clothes.com .authenticmanprogram. But. Would people still feel his presence? Yes. It’s not about the words or a well known social status. Let’s say he’s at a party and not a single person there knows who he is. here’s the real kicker… Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. Would people still notice him? Yes. but step one is to practice this first stage. What we’ve just described is the first stage of Presence. Just the Beginning. . inner confidence that can be felt radiating from who he is. Will people still feel intrigued and drawn to him? Yes. As a matter of fact... it is possible to cultivate this for yourself such that any of the layers you put on top of that are simply for fun and not because they are a necessary requirement for your confidence. And . Because he carries himself and speaks in a way that instantly lets other people know that he feels a deep confidence within himself that can’t be faked. Can we take it even farther than this? Let’s say that he is dressed terribly and has bad body posture. It’s the very reason his presence is so powerful. women regularly report that when someone with the personal power of Lenny Kravitz walks into a room they can literally feel a shift in their bodies. Let’s say he walks into a crowded party and doesn’t say a single word all night long. . And … this is just the beginning of the depth we’re committed to you having in your life. women will feel it.” In fact. sexy body language and cool talk he is still someone who at his core has a deep. More about how to do this in a moment. “Self” Presence. while could probably power a small city with all the energy we’ve put into creating this DVD program and training manual.So let’s take it a step farther.

If you find yourself still trying to “figure” this all out.While the original discounted price is $147. you don’t have to do much of anything. What feels most authentic to us is to give you a free meal of the good stuff. just relax. If enough guys take advantage of this offer then we’ll keep it going and if not we’ll just go back to $147. If it fills and nourishes you the way it has for us and the countless men that have deeply benefited from our work then you’ll genuinely be hungry for more. sexier. (So depending on when you are reading this. there are some very fundamental “sticking. Yes. let’s get back to: The Great Thing about Presence… When you are fully present. So if any part of this ebook really speaks to you then within just a few clicks. we hope that this will give you an eye opening perspective on what is really possible. You just pay shipping and handling and we’ll send you the very best stuff we’ve got. For now just know that simply engaging in the conversation of how present you are when relating with women. Why would we do this? It’s pretty simple actually.com .” points where most men get stopped.authenticmanprogram. Within the process of cultivating your own powerful presence with women. you can have the best of AMP headed your way within minutes. for free.) So. Just being fully present is enough to bring a feeling of warmth and light to your interactions. When You Don’t Have Presence… Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. you're already well on your way to having richer. it may or may not be any longer available. starting with the link at the bottom of this page. While we go much deeper into presence in The Power of Presence DVD set. We will be going into more detail in a moment. more profound and authentic interactions. We are offering it to you for free. in the meantime.

But that’s because most men just aren’t “showing up” for the game to begin with! Why Is This Even Important? Because even the most radiant women will run each other down with their SUV’s in order to capture the interest of the rare man who embodies Presence. In other words.com . how aware are you of the wallpaper or paintjob on the walls around you right now? To a radiant woman. that’s how invisible a man without presence is. The full embodiment of your Presence alone is enough to make you stand out to radiant women like a glittering star in an otherwise dark night. Remember. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.” experience. or generally seem to be ignoring you. This means the exact opposite of the “Lenny Kravitz. Without specifically looking. They can actually feel when a man is "not present". So. And for this very reason it is completely irrelevant what you look like physically. Tell me honestly. women are like finely tuned instruments when it comes to detecting a man’s level of presence.authenticmanprogram. don’t include you in the conversation.Women don’t even seem to notice you are there. Most men are totally unaware and disconnected from themselves and they are often completely unaware of the experience of the woman they are with. it is rare for most men to truly get out on the court with a woman. let’s take a look at the first sticking point.

You can screw up in almost any other way and still have a fair amount of sex & dates without much trouble on your part.com “Aww. another social event and…there she is. it's also the one that will hold you back the most in succeeding with Women. that being a “Nice Guy” is doing her any favors. Not only does it seem to be the most common. You have a perfectly reasonable.authenticmanprogram. either! Women all over consistently muse." she says. he asked me out! Isn’t that just adorable?” . don't think for a second. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. Being a “Nice Guy” is the cardinal sin of success with Women. brother. A gorgeous creature. who can’t seem to create a single spark of sexual attraction. This is one of the most common sticking points for Men in their interactions with Women.Sticking Point #1: You Become a “Nice Guy” Does This Sound Familiar? So here you are. you’re the "nice guy". Congrats. Ouch. “Where are all the REAL MEN?” These are Men who have a deep adoration for Women but still maintain a raw edge & honesty to their way of Being. And. painfully platonic! "You're like a brother to me. cordial interaction— and it’s strictly.

this fire. Solution: Connect to Your Desire Let’s take a moment for a personal story: I Used to Cut out Pictures Of Women In Bras and Panties by Bryan If you had asked me whether I believed that being attracted to women was wrong or bad. Nothing wrong here. I would have laughed. As I explored this further I realized that I felt ashamed of being . But when I realized I was having a really hard time creating attraction with women. WTF? As Decker facilitated me through this process.com . I went deeper. attraction to women is a natural and healthy expression of the male species! I love women..at age 6 I used to cut Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.authenticmanprogram. this honesty and the Man who holds these qualities also holds her captivated.like a brother. attracted to women.. The Impact: Does she like you? Sure she likes you. Of course.She craves this rawness. I started to notice that there was a subtle place where I was not fully connected to my desire for the women that I was relating with. and old memories suddenly surfaced in my awareness-.

a Man who is bold and present and kisses you in a way that makes your lips quiver?” Yeah. Now that I’ve let that go I feel more capable than ever of unapologetically owning my attraction—and it has made all the difference in my relating with women! So what does this all mean? It means that as men in our culture we are often socially taught. Think of the stereotype of European men. I experienced a huge emotional release and with someone to facilitate me through this process. Here's a quick assignment: Ask any Woman this question.authenticmanprogram. it can be intimidating to fully imagine how luscious you know she'll feel against you. I was able to challenge and resolve this limiting belief that I didn’t even realize I had. we thought so. I developed beliefs that it was not okay to be sexually attracted to women! When I got this realization. What women really want is a man who can “own his desire. And.out pictures of women in bras and panties from the Sears catalogs and keep them in a paper bag under the couch. a sense of attraction to her. in your body. without “closing down” to the feeling of it. that it is actually wrong or shameful to have sexual desire for women. However. if you can feel that attraction. “Who would you rather have sex with? A bashful. these fellows have 'game'. Sure. with her own desires. but that you are actually aware of. especially French and Italian men. as positively corny & romantic as they are alleged to be.com . compared to many other cultures.” Not that you’re drooling over them like a piece of meat. IN YOUR BODY. even-keeled guy who asks very nicely if he can kiss you? Or. either verbally or nonverbally. At that age. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. my mom found them and told me that I was not allowed to do that. while simultaneously being aware of the fact that she is another person. I loved looking at them! One day. It means actually FEELING your attraction for her. They are completely unapologetic about their desire for Women.

a crackle. Women WANT to feel desired. to feel sexy. passionate demeanor of Don Juan. Again. She will look deeply into your eyes to feel if you really are in that powerful.com . “I’m turned on by you. brave.authenticmanprogram. take note! Can you actually feel the attraction in your body? Is there resistance to feeling this attraction in your body? If it is all accompanied by feeling a sense of shame. it may be worth taking a deeper look at some of your unconscious beliefs around sex. staying aware of those sensations in your body. as you interact with her. You actually have to be feeling your attraction for her. This is the perfect balance of the cool.” But you can’t just say the words. yet vulnerable place that she hopes you are speaking from. It simply involves taking small steps.hopes. my friend. The more your interactions have an electricity to them. to feel attractive! And there is something incredibly powerful to a woman about a man who can feel and own his desire. simply allow that attraction to be there. without his desire owning him. Otherwise. dreams and feelings. unapologetic and powerfully present says. If you are. controlled attitude of James Bond and the bold. Exercise: When Out With Women… The next time you see an attractive woman. she will melt. a spark the less likely you are to get LJBF’d! (Let’s Just Be Friends) Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. feeling the wild emotions that will rush through you and still staying fully open. this takes learning to be with a lot of feminine juju. then you are sooooo money. That is the character in the movie that looks deeply into a woman’s eyes and unwavering.

You begin to feel nervous. The first step to being fully present is to notice when you’re NOT present and not in your body. They’ve cultivated the habit of being with a lot of sensation and intensity without closing down. We find that a lot of men who take to this work more naturally have practiced a lot of martial arts or yoga.Becoming Unclear and Foggy.stuff?” Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. guess what? When you feel that way in your body. The Impact: Your interaction with her feels uncomfortable and she is eager to end the conversation. it is much easier to feel an enormous amount of feminine radiance without feeling overwhelmed or short-circuited. women feel that way about you! But even more than that. The Solution: Get In Your Body Let’s think about this for a moment...authenticmanprogram. when a man is feeling full. Well. uncomfortable and unsure of yourself. But you you’ve read about the '3-Second Rule' so you grab your balls and approach her anyway.com . This is always the case when: “So…umm.. powerful and alive. you can learn to be with a lot more energy than you think. In fact. present and invigorated in his body. Does This Sound Familiar? You arrive at a social event and notice a woman you are attracted to..Sticking Point #2: You “Get in Your Head”…..uhh. do you like. with or without intense training. Have you ever played a sport or took part in a physical activity where afterward you felt like freakin’ warrior? Your body felt solid.

But the good news is that you are now learning to set yourself apart. rather than following your natural curiosity about this person in front of you. it’s better if you don’t have anything prepared and you just go up and say “Hi”.the more she will begin to feel astoundingly comfortable around you. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.com .” Sound hard to believe? You can see participants actually experience it for themselves! Follow the link at the bottom of the page and take advantage of the free DVD offer while it is available.• • You’re feeling foggy and “in your head. stay aware of the sensations and tensions in your body as you interact with her. For a lot of guys this can feel really uncomfortable. Exercise: When Meeting Women Talk to women about anything. She’ll say things like. As you two chat.” You are thinking about something else while she is talking to you. The bad news is that most men are rarely present.authenticmanprogram. but I just felt so comfortable with him. You may wonder at this point how much of the time you really are present. “I don’t know what it was. You don't need a scripted routine or an opinion opener. you just have to walk up and say “Hi”. As a matter of fact. For the purposes of this exercise. but the more fully you can allow yourself to actually feel those nervous sensations in your body . The good news is that when it comes to presence you’re probably like most men. she won’t even know why. and it’s for that very reason that most guys out there in the world will NEVER get this.without resisting them . Simple as that.

You immediately notice her. then you will be so golden. The Impact: You either fade into the background. laughing and glad to see Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. or at best attempt to initiate conversation. there is a very subtle and very powerful concept at play here and if you can get this. Does This Sound Familiar? You become invisible -.” is to imagine that you are in YOUR party. if this is a common experience for you. The Solution: Own Your Space The best way to understand “owning your space. let’s say you show up at another social event. People are talking.a 'wallflower'.com . they take it personally and begin to have feelings of hopelessness or frustration. Will you pay attention to me?” Most of the time. You are unnoticed or consistently passed over. Now.authenticmanprogram. You can feel her radiance from across the room. only to be easily dismissed or overlooked “Hi. If you haven’t. then you never even get around to approaching her. Imagine that this REALLY is your party. She’s absolutely stunning. YOUR room. Exercise: When in a Social Situation Imagine that you are in the room of your party. everybody is hustling and bustling around you.Sticking Point #3: “Wallflower” So. If you’ve ever hosted your own party before (and it was a good experience) then this will be easier for you. Before you let yourself ruminate on these feelings – turning yourself into the ANTI-LIFE of the party – make the decision to take action and get more Present. We have found that when many Men are in this situation. my friend. then it will make a difference for you to actually have your own party and practice the following. YOUR house.

com .you. And. How do you walk. Those sensitive little tuning forks we call 'women' can feel it when a man can open up his presence and feel himself throughout the entire room. women FEEL IT. SUMMARY So. But the fact is this: time after time. Now. and behave in your own personal environment? What if you carried yourself with that level of confidence and ease when relating with women out and about? What if the experience of being at your own party was something you took with you wherever you go? If you're still struggling with this. this guy feels really different. You don’t even have to understand or agree with it. positive relationships with men is pivotal to your success with women. This is one of the reasons we created the AMP Inner Circle Membership Forum where no matter where you are in the world. Literally FEEL an ownership for the experiences of every person in the room. you don’t have to believe the science behind this. and you are were big enough that you could easily reach out and put your hands on both opposite walls at the same time. In other words. people don’t even notice them. It speaks to them and has them say. Who is this guy with such a big presence?” The opposite is that some guys are so confronted by opening themselves up to such a degree that their level of presence doesn’t extend further from their own body than their clothing. you get to be a part of a community of kick ass men actively living this stuff and creating incredible results. as a result. talk. you feel as if your physical space can take up the entire room. “Whoa. They are your friends and your guests. the first thing may be to practice owning your space with men. The value and importance of having strong.authenticmanprogram. to summarize the forms of Withdrawal: Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. Imagine that the room was small enough. More on that in a moment.

You could actually be on it interacting. 2. This program is extremely interactive.1. Be honest. dude. You “Get in Your Head”: with the intent of figuring out a way to attract her. Foundations of Inner Game I: Power of Presence DVD Home Training Program This 3-DVD set goes into the specifics of cultivating your presence. FAST. personalized and experiential and comes with a comprehensive Training Manual to really help you integrate the distinctions and sharpen your presence. and from that place. download articles and e read daily Interaction Reports from guys who are really living this stuff. own your space and connect to your desire. Plus as a special bonus you get two free months of access into the Inner Circle Training Program where you receive entertaining and in depth CD interviews every month with T ravis Decker who takes you to the next level of building your Inner Game from the inside out. practice interacting with blazingly insightful women who will give you personalized feedback on how they experience you and where you could be bringing even more. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. isn't it? 3. The Solution: All of these sticking points are resolved by cultivating more PRESENCE.com This is our flagship course. You become a “Wallflower”: you are so confronted by the social situation that you let your inner 'shy guy' take over. even beyond the AMP course. you over think it to the point of not even approaching. Pretty counterproductive. listening. learning and laughing today.authenticmanprogram. You will engage in experiential exercises to get you in your body.com . You Become a “Nice Guy”: you hide your attraction for women and end up befriending them. you don’t really want to just be friends with her.authenticmanprogram. Plus entrance into our online forum wher you can ask questions. AMP Resources for Cultivating Presence Authentic Man P rogram – http://www.

Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. you are trying to assert Control.AuthenticManProgram.authenticmanprogram.com/products Control When things don’t go as expected.com .www. and you desperately try to prevent things from coming apart.

significance and seriousness! If your response to a high-pressure situation with women is to clamp down on yourself in order to play it cool. Your experience: You’ve got her all to yourself at the party but you feel a sense of urgency. pressure.com . You Become “Pushy” Every guy has probably experienced these at one time or another. It's your choice. “Don’t mess it up! Stay cool. look good and ultimately have control. stay in control! Don’t let her get away!” Her Experience: She feels your sense of urgency. significance and seriousness. heaviness. You Become “Slimy” 6. or be wet. Appreciation. baby. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. heaviness.Sticking Points 4-6: Control The next three sticking points relate to ways we try to assert Control under a high-pressure situation with a woman: 4. pressure. She Becomes Your “Captive Audience” 5. then the cure is a good dose of… Be attracted to me. You hear that voice in your head that says.authenticmanprogram.

her joys. without avoiding or judgement. you still felt an acceptance and empathy for them. you can relate to her as another human being.com . The 2nd stage in our Inner Game Model** Imagine this woman was your twin sister and you knew pretty much everything that was going on in her life. her fears and her loves. or even like the one that you do have. really shy and has a lot of selfdoubt and really wants people to love her. You may know that when she’s just with you she’s actually a really geeky. Imagine that you know her struggles. You know that as a kid she had to wear an eye patch and the other kids made fun of her and it still hurts when she thinks about it and she hates it when other people get teased.Appreciation involves the degree to which you accept an experience or person. You know that even though she may come across as bitchy or cold in public places she’s actually doing the best she can in the face of so many men sending their attention her way. in truth. without the interaction having to go any particular way. We call this form of Appreciation. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. When you are in this state you have access to your genuine curiosity. “Being a ‘Yes’”. you know that she is. but it can mean that you’ve got the degree of comfort with her as one.authenticmanprogram. but just imagine what it would be like to truly know a person to such a degree that no matter how they were being. This doesn’t mean you have to act or even feel like her brother. you may not actually have a sister. You know that even though she may be all high fashion and cool on the outside. Now. and you can enjoy whatever she says or does. including her being bitchy or testing you.

So now imagine being like this with a radiant woman.com . especially a radiant woman.When you can be like this with a woman. let's get into the specific sticking points on how we try to control… Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.authenticmanprogram. Then. There is no way to be in full Appreciation of her without first being present and relaxing into the moment (go back to the first chapter if you forgot). Inner Game is strong with in you…Y oung Jedi. access your Appreciation of her. So.

not the intranet”. inspired and turned on by what you are talking about she will feel you and experience the same sensations.so I tell Eugene.authenticmanprogram. I remember just giving the phone to my little brother to let him listen for a while. Can you remember a time when you were engaged in a conversation with a woman and you felt an almost electrical connection in the air Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. but he wouldn’t listen to me. and as a result neither does she. unfulfilling interaction.. by Garrison “And. all the time. women can feel you really deeply. The Impact: Conversations feel forced. It may keep you from getting blown off immediately. uh. Y ou are talking at her rather than with her.Sticking Point #4: She Becomes Your “Captive Audience” Does This Sound Familiar? We’ve all experienced it. Lucky for her she was cute. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world.com . You hold her hostage while you tell long stories or talk about yourself without actually even looking to see if she is engaged. so then I…’” Jabber Jaws Girlfriend “I remember in high school I had a girlfriend who would get on the phone with me and talk for twenty minutes non stop. but ultimately results in a one-sided. superficial and flat because you aren’t really connected to or caring about what you’re talking about. This often happens when you are trying to impress her – either trying to entertain her or otherwise gain her approval.” Remember.‘It's clearly the client’s ISP.it’s what’s behind them. When you are connected. It’s not your words that move her .

com .between the two of you? When an experience like that is happening it means that there is almost a dance of sorts going on between the two of you. put it fully back onto her. get your attention off yourself. However. and connect to your desire: why are you even talking to these women? Are the questions you are asking just to keep the conversation going. take a look at your real motives for talking with her. If you are really listening to her. And there are powerful ways to be straightforward about your desires that actually open her up to the possibility of getting it on with you. or do you actually even care? What drew you to her? What kind of person do you imagine her to be? Get curious.authenticmanprogram. If you are struggling with this. There is a natural and engaging experience that takes place when you begin to listen deeply to what she is saying without trying to “control” the way the conversation flows. there are infinite possibilities for the direction of the conversation to go. allow the interaction to unfold. From this place. Then become the aware of your own space. notice how you are feeling in your body. When you look back at situations like this that you have been in. Great. if she feels that there is something you “need” from her she will definitely begin to feel uncomfortable around you and close down. so how do we do that? Exercise: Access Your Genuine Curiosity First. In these situations. “Was there was something that I want from her that I wasn’t acknowledging?” Do you have a need for her to like you? Be really honest with yourself here. the best thing you can do is to acknowledge and accept that need. Once you do that you can get curious! Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. ask yourself. When that level of listening and presence to her is missing she will end up feeling drained and frustrated. There’s nothing wrong with seeing a woman that turns you on and wanting to have sex with her.

and the interaction will go nowhere.Who is this incredible. our attention goes on ourselves when we become concerned about how she perceives us. . just like you? Being aware of and making this shift away from “captive audience” will completely change the way women experience you. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. As a result men get nervous. We often keep talking about ourselves or about topics that we don’t really care about because it’s better than not having anything to talk about at all..com . she’s e not going to be either! The energy will continue to be flat.authenticmanprogram. Why We Don't Do This Naturally For most men. doing their best to make their way through this life and find happiness . Of course. On to sticking point #5. when you’r not engaged in what you’re talking about. unlike anyone who has ever lived before or will ever live again. unique person. . This is a natural response..

Sticking Point #5: You Become ‘Slimy’ When women feel objectified by men.authenticmanprogram. appreciate and feel more connected to the women you interact with and as a result they will feel more connected and appreciated by you. Consider an exercise of asking a woman of what her experience of men is. we often objectify women to in an attempt to feel good about ourselves.” Most guys don't consider what a woman’s experience is like when a man interacts with her However. Not a great way to make a first impression. A drunken grab. Ask her if she can feel men’s eyes on her. not seeing her as a person with hopes. disgusted and put-off by you. they refer to them as “Slimy. having this perspective you will understand. But. foiled! The Impact: Most men end up relating to her as a "target". And if she can feel their intentions even without ever talking to them. staring at her body. by . fears.com . Ask her how often she notices men checking out her body. dreams and insecurities…just like you. as opposed to a “receiver”. more often. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. The most visible way we are “slimy” towards women is through treating them like an object and not a woman. not listening to her. Y ou'll be surprised what you hear. The end result is that she feels disrespected.

Imagine being physically weaker and more delicate than you. STOP! Actually take a moment and do the exercise. and for each one. fears and vulnerabilities. Imagine hearing what she’s hearing. • She is just an opportunity for you to practice approaching women. Listen man. Think of the last several interactions you have had with women. Imagine her not knowing what you really want from her. You cannot imagine how that will impact your interactions and results with women. Imagine what it’s like to not know the intentions of the people you’re talking to. with her own unique dreams. . Imagine what it’s like to be looked at as an object by the opposite sex who is much physically stronger and potentially threatening.com . we've heard it before. put yourself into her position. T tap into that. puts you in touch with a woman's desire. “This is the cheesiest thing I've read!” We know. even for o a moment. Imagine what it’s like to have an emotional state that fluctuates from moment to moment. Imagine the pressure to look attractive and appealing.an object in your experience.authenticmanprogram.Common ways Men objectify W omen: • You want to have sex with her whether it is in her best interests are not. you might be thinking. seeing and feeling. But. rather than as another.human being. Is it scary? Is it exciting? Is it stressful? What is it like to be her? If you're just reading this exercise to move onto the next paragraph and see how quick you can finish this book. to be understood. understand that a woman's deepest desire is to be felt. • You relate to her as a "target"-. Solution: Relate to Her As Another Human Being Exercise: Imagine You Are Her: This is an incredibly powerful exercise. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. • You are trying to "make her" like you. You will benefit enormously.

Decker gives an amazing example of “Soul Vision” as he works with Victor. an audience Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. joy and desire. Imagine your gaze softening and open to embrace this being. When you are out with people. ogling. Take these other people in your gaze as well.Unknown To see the kind of melting effect this has on a woman.com .” . When you can maintain this image in your mind and holding the feeling of it in your body when you approach a woman you can literally create the same response in her by going to this state first.authenticmanprogram. They are other human beings. or do you also notice men and other women you may not be as attracted to. Drink her in with your eyes… This is what we mean by “Soul Vision”. easing over her body like a hand over silk. When you accept all people as opposed to just singling out the attractive women. leering. we’re not in the “PFN Training Business.The only guys who know how valuable it is to fully understand a woman’s experience are the ones that women love to be around. kick ass man that women love to be around then just keep reading. How would you want to be looked at by a woman like this? The sense of this look is what you can learn to feel and ultimately create with other women. Now does this mean you have to be a total pussy footed ninny? Fortunately. Other Practices for Relating to Her As Another Human Being “Soul Vision”: Imagine the most beautiful women you have ever seen suddenly walks into the room and locks eyes with you. beautiful eyes are fully taking you in with kindness. with their own hopes fears desires and experiences. people won’t feel the predator vibe from you. She is a goddess and her gentle. Is it just looking for women you are attracted to.” But if you want to be a solid. how is your gaze? Is it tight. possessive? Allow your gaze to relax and open. “All the power in the world rests in the human gaze.

only to notice (or not) that her body language says she’s barely tolerating you.” to the natural unfolding of the interaction with a woman. I realized later that I Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. we may want something from her that she doesn’t want to give: her attention. they come in strong and with enthusiasm. you name it.com . I went through a phase where I was really looking for depth in my interactions with women. Sticking Point #6: You Become “Pushy” When some men approach a woman. implore. The Impact: In any of these cases. “You're just confronted by how attracted you are to me. or otherwise convince her will in almost all cases continue to be met with increased resistance and resentment.authenticmanprogram. I would walk up to women and ask them right off the bat. a deeper conversation than she’s ready for. I declared war on “small talk”. “What are you passionate about?” They looked at me like a deer in headlights. Not a good way to start. right?” Is Small Talk Really That Small? by Bryan Several years ago. cajole.participant on his interaction with Kendra in The Power of Presence DVD’s. her phone number. is it? Does this sound familiar? We talked earlier about what it means to be a “YES. So. her body.” For example. When we try to force the interaction to go a certain way we are being a “NO. They were very resistant to opening up after that. trying to posture.

When you can imagine what that would feel like in your body. or for her to accept you. No matter how acute this tension is. Exercise: Discover Your Unmet Need When you are a “No” to a woman. you can start to feel a freedom from it. or for her to be attracted to you or to sleep with you. SUMMARY So. Note: Our experience in working with many men suggests that the core of these unmet needs may sometimes be deeper than can be reached on your own. it will always be felt by a woman. And. she will start to feel free around you in regard to that need and will respond to you in new ways. How would it feel. If you believe you need to go deeper to get to the root cause.com . without regard for enjoying or appreciating the process of getting to know them through light play. As a result. even if you don’t notice it yourself. which is almost always the case. you may want to do the AMP course or seek one-on-one coaching with one of AMP's highly-trained coaches.was being pushy – I was asserting my own agenda of wanting depth. Now I enjoy and appreciate the “small talk”. to literally not have that as a “need” anymore? When you have an unmet need from another person it creates a subtle tension in your body. Ask yourself: “What need am I trying to get met through this woman?” When you discover what that need is. imagine what it would be like to completely let go of the feeling related to that desire. to summarize the forms of Control: Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. Perhaps you have a need for understanding. when a woman feels free around you she can open up to her desire for you. especially since I realize that even the most seemingly mundane conversations can be rich with layers of sub-communication. or find yourself judging her. Imagine how it would feel in your body to no longer have that driving need.authenticmanprogram. chances are there is something you want from her that you are not getting (or that she is not willing to give).

and to enjoy a new freedom of being with her. you chat endlessly and nervously.authenticmanprogram. AMP Resources for Cultivating APPRECIATION Authentic Man P rogram – http://www. AMP will teach you to be able to embrace and appreciate all aspects of interacting with women. We all know how hot she is but. The Solution: All of these sticking points are resolved by cultivating more APPRECIATION. personalized and hands-on this program teaches you to take your connection to incredible depths of intimacy. You become “Slimy”: when you ignore her needs and let your desire overpower you.com Access your genuine curiosity. your ability to relate to her as another human being. about Appreciation. You become “Pushy”: when you come on too strong and aren't taking account of her needs in that moment.authenticmanprogram.4. Extremely interactive. you begin to objectify her. 5. you both know what you're saying really isn't that cool. whether you ju met her tonight or you’ve been together st for years. holding her hostage. Foundations of Inner Game II: Power of Appreciation DVD Home Program (due out late summer. you're not giving her space to engage with you. trust and surrender to him. have some respect for the lady. sexuality and profound connections.com .AuthenticManProgram. 2007) – www. She becomes your “Captive Audience”: with the fear of 'awkward silences'. 6. really. And. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. without the interaction having to go a certain way. even more than in the AMP course. lets be honest dude. When a woman feels appreciation from a man. she is able to let go.com/products This 3-DVD + Training Manual goes into great depth.

authenticmanprogram. You Sell Her Out Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.Adapt When you Sell Yourself Out.com .

As she was talking I noticed that I was distracted from being present to this profoundly beautiful experience.authenticmanprogram. When women say they want a “real man” they are talking about a man with integrity. The 3rd stage in our Inner Game Model Honoring My Integrity by Garrison The other day I was meeting a woman I’m dating at the beach to watch the sunset together. Attached to How She Responds 9.com . Becoming a Doormat 8. “I want to watch the sunset now. “Listen. Why it's important: Being grounded in your values means you can make choices with conviction. INTEGRITY What it is: Integrity involves the degree to which you are clear and unwavering in your commitments and values. She was running late and I was standing at the shore watching this beautiful sunset over the ocean. so meet me when you get her and we’ll watch it Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. Become Easily Shaken. She called me for directions. As it turns out.” I said. women find this incredibly sexy. All three are resolved by cultivating what we call Integrity.Sticking Points 7-9: Adapt The next three Inner Game sticking points all involve ways we try to Adapt. or attempt to be accommodating to women: 7. and as she continued to drive she started to go on to talk about her day and other unrelated things.

In fact. “No. She is an exceptionally radiant woman and is used to men bending over backward for her. So hurry up and get down here. It was simply the truth. supplicating or collapsing to a woman’s tests but there is something else to this. While I might have made her upset at me initially. she felt even more turned on to me as a result. Let's move on… Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. This wasn’t about being difficult or challenging or even trying to put her in her place in any way. Gotta go.authenticmanprogram. I want to watch the sunset. I would have felt resentment towards her for me “feeling.com . you are displaying Integrity and this is amazingly sexy to a woman. I don’t.” stuck on the phone.” There was a momentary silence on the phone.together. By being true to what is most deeply important to you. she ultimately respected me and appreciated me more for setting my boundaries and claiming what I wanted for myself. I really did want to watch the sunset and I really did feel distracted. “So you don’t want to talk to me?” she says. Now there is a lot of information out there on not caving in. If I wasn’t living in my integrity around this I would not have been present for the sunset and I would not have been present to her.” We got off the phone and I could feel her displeasure at my not wanting to be with her on the phone. I would have felt like crap about myself for not being in my power and allowing it to happen and I would have missed fully experiencing the spectacular sunset over the ocean off the Northern California coast on the nicest day of the year so far.

The Impact: Nothing we know of kills attraction faster than giving up our power like this. You feel compelled to align with whatever you anticipate she will approve of. agreeing with her all the time or continually tolerating her disrespect or bitchiness. some guys end up becoming a Doormat. wining and dining her. To be honest. We put her on a pedestal and become “doormats”. will you have sex with me now? Please?” . And. This means that you sell yourself short or get taken for granted. afraid to disagree with any of her opinions for fear of creating opposition in the relating. We will do whatever we think will make her happy whether we want to do it or not.com One of the great tragedies: a supplicating man OR “Um. most women would rather their man to be a little more on the difficult side – who may even disagree and cause a little friction – than to have a wimpy man playing a perpetual game of “Mommy. of course.Sticking Point #7: You Become a Doormat Does This Sound Familiar? Throughout challenging interactions with a woman you are romantically interested in (including your girlfriend). May I?” This shows your woman that – when things get difficult – you will not hesitate for a second to stand up for what you believe in. this kills attraction because what she really wants is a strong man to snuggle up to instead of a good little boy .authenticmanprogram. you end up doing things in order to prove that you have value to her. Some specifics about how this shows up is in trying to win her favor by buying her drinks. only to notice that she’s running up your tab. When you are not feeling your own value. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.

these beliefs were formed early in life. Exercise: Explore Y our Limiting Beliefs: All men are capable of incredible transformations in who they are. yet with a certain mystique that has us feel as if this is an uncommon and rare gem of a man. Usually.The Solution: Be Free to Disagree. worthy of their interest and attention. the part of us that actually wants something.authenticmanprogram. keeping them from moving up to the next level of experience.com . These act as a glass ceiling. most men have little experience in seeing beyond their own limiting beliefs. It can feel counterintuitive to disagree with a woman you are attracted to. Were you always trying to please her or get her to approve of you? Was it OK to disagree with her growing up? Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. passionless. it is simply about creating agreement with yourself. Why We Don’t Do This Naturally 1) We Are Afraid or Ashamed of Our Vulnerability: We hide a part of ourselves. Specifically. However. Here’s the kicker: If you work hard to create constant agreement with her and justify your value to her then you are guaranteed to either lose her or have a difficult. Uncommon and rare. Women want men who feel free to disagree with them or challenge them. take a look at your relationship with your mother growing up. powerful/vulnerable men are portrayed in the movies more and more often. Unattainable? Not as far as we’re concerned. Men often fear that if they create disagreement it will push away the women they desire. yes. especially in regard to women. we do whatever we think will get her approval. relationship and success with women. This is not really about creating disagreement with her. 2) We Are Afraid of Her Not Liking Us: So. impotent relationship. by putting her on a pedestal. And yet at the same time. It shows women that this is a strong man. Our society has created an illusion that if men are vulnerable they are weak.

relating with women is tied to perceived social value. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. evolutionary perspective there is good reason to desire being higher up the line. From a genetic-based.” In high school it’s usually seen as the popular kids at the top and the nerds at the bottom. Even though we’ve come a significant distance from our good ol’ primate days. yet it is also dangerous for an organism to wander far from its social position and can literally result in being killed by acting like an Alpha male when everyone in the gorilla party knows you’re a Beta. Again. and it's good to be aware of what's running you.These imprints start early on.com . Escape the Matrix! By Decker For a lot of men. “Where you think you sit on the scale of having the most social importance or the least social importance. If it seems that you have some limiting beliefs.authenticmanprogram. it still leaves a pretty powerful gut reaction in a guy’s nervous system. This means. simply becoming aware that you are operating inside of that genetic design is enough to change your thought process and actions in the face of feeling limited to a particular social class. they are often best addressed in therapy or deep 1-on-1 coaching.

authenticmanprogram.. though rational. and it’s understandably unpleasant to put so much attention on a social structure that you don’t even believe in. is to support men in simply getting off the fucking grid all together. Both of these approaches. Our approach.For instance. Others teach a slightly more tasteful approach. embracing our animal nature and teaching men how to meet her up top by behaving as ‘alpha males’ do or “learning to act cooler than you think you are”. a lot of pick-up instructors respond to this reality by teaching men creative ways to ‘knock her down a few notches’ on the grid or 'negging' the woman. considering our animal nature.com . Yet for many of you that I’ve worked with. just feels ‘off’ somehow.. make total sense. Not the most inspiring approach. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. the whole enterprise. All the strategizing tends to take us away from the connection we’re actually wanting. and the approach that underlies all of the AMP coursework and coaching. since ideally you want to interact with people who feel great about themselves and great about you .

Sticking Point #8: You Become Attached to How She Responds to You Does this sound familiar? When interacting with a woman you are romantically interested in.com . you hide your true intentions.this isn’t going very well…” Solution: Be T ransparent and Upfront about Your Intentions Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.authenticmanprogram. For example. One way or another. you keep staring at someone you are attracted to without going up and talking to them. you go up and talk to them or pretend you’re interested in something other than what you say. “Hmm…. Or. that it takes awhile to notice she’s giving you a funny look. your attention is so on anticipating what her responses might be (“I don’t want her to think… I’m hitting on her”) and how to get her to respond in the way you want. The Impact: You are incongruent. creepy or just feel “off. your words don’t match up with the feeling women are getting from you and as a result they intuitively don’t trust you.” in some vague indefinable way that women can’t quite put their finger on. This is the one we probably hear as being the most common complaint from women. You come off as untrustable.

of course. makes her uncomfortable! Why We Don’t Do This Naturally 1) We are afraid of rejection.” She instantly picks up on the feeling that you are hiding something from her. So you subtly hide your desire. it can never be rejected.authenticmanprogram.com . However. they simply accept it. Most men try to take responsibility for a woman’s experience to the degree that they try to manage the woman’s experience. it ripples into all areas of your life. veiling their intentions so she doesn’t get “uncomfortable”.One of the Ways Being Accommodating Bites You in the Ass By Bryan You're attracted to her. which.” from his presence women are blown away. it is exactly this preventative behavior that makes them uncomfortable! Exercise to be Upfront and Transparent about Your Intentions: Clean up Your Past . They really believe that this is as good as it gets. How do you know if you have withheld communications with someone? Often if there is any feeling of discomfort or “charge. And doing so deteriorates the quality of your relationship. Women are so used to this from men that.” you have a communication that you are holding back from sharing with this person. There is a discernable difference between how you're presenting yourself and what you’re actually feeling and wanting. Here is a simple checklist to see if you have a withheld communication: Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. Make a list of all the people you still have undelivered or withheld communications with. Not just with that person either. Ironically. 2) We are afraid of making women uncomfortable. on a certain level.The best place to start being transparent in your life is with the relationships you already have. The good news is that it can usually be returned to normal once things have been cleared up. in order to “not make her feel uncomfortable. Our subconscious mind bel eves that if i we don’t acknowledge our true intention. when they encounter the rare man who has removed this layer of “acting. but you don’t want her to think you're interested in her. And as a result we protect ourselves by projecting a false image of ourselves.

If you find yourself interested in learning the kinds of skills and ways of being that allow you to interact with women in a powerful. you experience a strong emotion. A withhold can easily be a very positive feeling.com . you will have more access to owning and expressing potentially uncomfortable truths. withholds are not always negative just as “emotions” are not always negative. taking full responsibility for your own feelings. would you feel regret? 2) Whenever you see this person. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. Men rarely realize how turned on women get by men who are expressive with what they are experiencing with them.authenticmanprogram. Some of them may be challenging. one by one. even if it is not all flowery and positive. Also. then take the opportunity to get started with the Foundations of Inner Game series that starts with the Power of Presence. After you make the list. track down those people and share your withheld communications by being kind. real and authentic. This is a great exercise because the more comfortable you become in sharing your truth with others the more real and authentic women will experience you to be.1) If you died tomorrow without having shared this withheld communication with that person. truthful way that leaves you feeling refreshed and solid and her turned on and intrigued. including with women. but at the end of it.

This edge shows up whenever women are testing or challenging you.authenticmanprogram. If she’s testing you. that’s a good sign—it means she sees interested enough in you to see how you show up when challenged. Many men are more sensitive than they would like to admit. or otherwise “collapse. She can’t fully surrender and let go. “I’m sorry…I didn’t mean…but…you don’t understand…I just… uh. The Impact: She will long for a “real man. because she feels like she has to take care of you. if you get defensive.” it can destroy attraction and take the spice out of a great interaction.com . Ouch.” one who can fully deal with her.sorry. However.. lash out.. Some men feel easily shaken and do lots of explaining or apologizing.Sticking Point #9: You Become Easily Shaken Does this sound familiar? You feel so desperate to make certain she understands you that the slightest joke or test throws you off or spirals into a black hole of backpedaling and apology.” Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.

teenage girls looove realizing they have this power with men.A Woman's T ests by Decker “Few things are more exciting and inspiring to a man than a woman who has completely let go and surrendered to him. balanced.. in the face of challenges and tests. martial arts and extreme sports: some of the few situations men truly have opportunities to access their composure.” Solution: Access Your Composure in the Face of Challenges & Tests Exercise: Take on a Regular Practice of Yoga or Martial Arts Practicing being with intensity will be great for you whenever a woman steps up to test you.authenticmanprogram. On Composure by Decker This level of composure can be important professionally too. how to deal with their tests and what it means to inspire trust. and these teenage girls were vicious.com . which sucked for his reputation there. Find a practice that allows you to practice this deep level of masculinity. This shutdown can have a serious impact on any aspect of our life. they need to cultivate an understanding of why women test. They’d purposefully flirt with him because he would blush and get flustered so easily. Unfortunately. Many of today's men seek out military training. present and receptive. SUMMARY So. if men want this. to summarize the forms of Adapting: Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www.. A client of mine was a high school teacher. their ability to remain centered.

” There is something incredibly sexy to a woman about a man who cannot be swayed from his personal truths about who he is. 9. check out: www. justify or make everything “ok” in your interaction with her.authenticmanprogram. Much. It is extremely interactive. Regardless of where your sticking points are. personalized and experiential. much more to come. Attached to How She Respond – She can instantly tell that s how you feel about yourself depends on how she feels about you = Instant attraction death. AMP Resources for Cultivating Integrity Authentic Man Program http://www.AuthenticManProgram. being transparent and upfront about your intentions. Once you can truly see the things that hold you back. When a woman is with a man who has strong Integrity she feels “strong desire.7. The more awareness you have around where you get stuck. Becoming a Doormat . Foundations of Inner Game III: Power of Integrity Home Program (due out late summer 2007) This 3-DVD + workbook goes into great depth.com . they no longer have control over you. about Integrity. Becoming Easily Shaken – When you feel the need to explain.com/products.com/course. the more choice you will have in overcoming it. even more than in the AMP course. If you would like to learn the secrets of how Integrity creates incredible Turn-On in even the most “seemingly” unattainable women. Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. 8.When you are not feeling your own value she can’t respect you.html Fully own your values and desires while fully honoring her. and retaining composure in the face of challenging and testing. what he wants and what matters most to him. The “Storming the Masculine” experience in particular is an incredibly powerful opportunity for helping you deal with women’s tests without collapsing. unless you allow them. what we want to reemphasize most is AWARENESS. The solution to all of these sticking points is in cultivating your Integrity.authenticmanprogram. much.

com/products NOTES: Copyright © 2007 Authentic Man Program http://www. There is absolutely no risk with nothing to lose and your entire life to gain.com . Decker. deep. profound.Glad you’re here. Its the single best way for you to take the next big step towards the kind of amazing. Follow the link and we’ll look forward to seeing you there! www. If you enjoyed our ebook then take advantage of the Power of Presence DVD’s before the special FREE offer is no longer available.AuthenticManProgram. sexy and meaningful interactions and relationships you’ve always wanted with the kinds of women you’ve always desired. wild.S. Garrison P.authenticmanprogram. Bryan.

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