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Step 1: Cool off.

- Leave the room if necessary

- Take deep breaths
- Count to ten
- Have a drink of water

Step 2: Tell what’s bothering you using “I messages.”

“I feel __________________________ when you ______________________________

because ______________________________________.

Step 3: Each person restates what they heard the other person say.

“I heard you say ___________________________________________. Is that what you


Step 4: Brainstorm solutions and come up with one that satisfies both people.

- Come up with at least 3 solutions to the problem and decide together what the best
choice is.
- Be fair and listen to each solution.
- If you can’t agree after this, it’s time to get a grownup.

Step 5: Agree that the conflict is over.

- Thank each other for listening.

- Give a hug, a handshake or a high five.
- Move on with a smile.

Remember: We’re all on the same TEAM!