Phonetic Phoolishness by H. L.

Vogelsang If you pronounced HEAD, DEAD, and BEAD you ll hear the last word rhymes with DEED And in this poem you will find many items of this kind. For instance: DEAR and FEAR and HEAR but BEAR GEAR and TEAR but WEAR and TEAR YEAST and LEAST and PLEASED but PLEASANT Beast and BREAST and PLEASED but PEASANT MEAT and PEAT but SWEAT and GREAT The last word rhymes with FREIGHT and WEIGHT. Quite different again is HEIGHT. Which sounds like BITE, INDICT and LIGHT. The next line should be read with care: The PRAYING PRAYER SAYS his PRAYER. BEAN and LEAN and MEAN but MEANT, Note G in GET, in GEM and GENT VICE but CREVICE ADVICE DEVICE, LICE but MALICE POLICE CONCISE. We say DREAMT but also DREAMED, The latter rhyming with ESTEEMED. CREW and BLEW and NEW but SEW, COW and ROW but SOW and ROW. MEASLES does not sound like MEASURE The same applies to TREASON and TREASURE. BRAID and MAID and LAID but SAID, TREAT but THREAT and THREAD and TREAD. A prison is often called JAIL,

Now note the difference with GOAL. always bear in mind The difference between WIND and WIND. BROOK but BROOCH and BROOD but BLOOD. AUNT is not like VAUNT and TAUNT. DISGUISE but BRUISE. Which rhymes with FOAL. reader. Pronounce your choice like DON or DAWN. Now. Mind the latter rhymes with CLANGOR. DULL and GULL and HULL but FULL. COUNT but COUNTRY. TONE and STONE and THRONE but DONE. SOUTHERN but SOUTH. We say BONE and LONE but GONE. MINT but PINT and CORK but WORK. The latter rhymes with RIND and KIND. HOOD but MOOD and FOOD but FLOOD. PHONE and HONE and SCONE but NONE. OUR but FLOUR but TOUR and POUR. YOUTH but MOUTH. Can you pronounce without mistakes MacLEOD: RACHEL: PANT: RABIES: SLANT: ACHE: VAN: PETAL: WAN: PENAL: WANT: GRAND and GRANT? I don t blame you if you can t .Which word is also written as GAOL. First say DANGER then ANGER. and DOLE and ROLL.

Dive. and bang. Orchid. pop. orange.A Jingle of Words Don t you love the common words In usage all the time. whine and wheeze? Don t you love the colorful Amber. Scrape and creak and snarl and snort Crash and clash and clang. Crimson. Hurtle. pirouette. snare. leap and flash. hurdle. pitch and toss. Crackle. fling. emerald. and dart and dash Scramble. Soar and snatch and swing? Don t you love the noisy words Clotter. Waddle. Tumble. slash and howl. Words that sway a multitude. and dance. Screech and bellow. toddle. yowl and yap. rose and gold. and sneeze. trot. Whistle. Words that leap and run. . cackle. Snicker. stumble. Or stir the heart of one? Don t you love the lively words Flicker. Words that paint a masterpiece Words that beat a rhyme. and cerise. and prance. Words that sing a melody.

Mangy. pale and lean. and greedy eyes. lank and low. honeydew? Don t you love descriptive words Lantern jawed and prim. Swarthy. Turquoise. Beautiful and rare. effeminate Sloppy. Peach and Prussian blue. with just the common words In usage everywhere. slim. plum and lavender. You can sway the multitude Or stir the heart of one. slick. Chubby.Purple. jade and jet. . cute. messy. matrix. You can capture incidents. Furtive and serene? Yes. Portly. Hazel. In words you have a weapon More mighty than a gun. slimy.

German. beard. Cloven. how it s written. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. vicar. Suzy. oven. similes. Gertrude. and cigar. Melpomene. and toe. Solar. but bleak and streak. how and low. war and far. aisles. Typhoid. One. horse. laurel. laughter. Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Exiles. Daughter. laundry. Kitchen. wind and mind. (Mind the latter. Script. Scene. and reviles.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. I will keep you. Tear in eye. devoid of trickery. . receipt. Scholar. topsails. and Terpsichore. measles. retain and Britain. and worse. Dies and diet. Hear me say. mica. your dress will tear. Sword and sward.English is Tough Stuff 2Dearest creature in creation. lichen. busy. corps. lord and word. Study English pronunciation. Balmoral. anemone. Just compare heart. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak. show. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse. and heard. poem. mankind.

cloth. And then singer. wounded. zeal. And your pronunciation s OK When you correctly say croquet. to forward. front. grieve and sieve. bomb. neither does devour with clangour. transom. grand. Nor is mould like should and would. River. tomb. Font. nob. chalet. Now first say finger. and grant. comb. Dost. mauve. linger. wallet. Toward. Stranger does not rhyme with anger. gauze. loth. . foliage. Rounded. to reward. wont. mirage. Bouquet. want. rival. bosom. does. post and doth. Friend and fiend. Doll and roll and some and home. gouge and gauge. clamour Andenamour rhyme with hammer. mallet. Shoes. Though the differences seem little. lost. load and broad. Viscous. Ivy. privy. alive and live. ginger. We say actual but victual. famous. Query does not rhyme with very. haunt but aunt. Nor does fury sound like bury. Blood and flood are not like food. Real. viscount. goes. Marriage. oath. and age. Job. Souls but foul.Billet does not rhyme with ballet.

Gas. unstable. Mark the differences. Maria. marine. Mint. and canal. promise. disciple. but our and succor. breeches. ye. surprise. area. Youth. cleanse and clean. conscience. and Arkansas. Sally with ally. panel. chaos. Worm and storm. Psalm. heave and heaven. . alas. spectator. senate and sedate. Petal. Compare alien with Italian. southern.Refer does not rhyme with deafer. ache. Liberty. constable. Dull. Science. idea. leopard. Korea. cover. and George ate late. Wait. Dandelion and battalion. heifer. pal. but police and lice. Scenic. chaise. Leeches. and zephyr. Senator. towed but vowed. moreover. Doctrine. Principle. but malaria. Tour. eleven. chair. bull. Arabic. People. but allowed. scientific. Sea. plait. moustache. Between mover. label. turpentine. clover. four. mayor. library. yea. Chalice. south. We say hallowed. Rachel. pint. Pacific. precise. Foeffer does. wise. Camel.

nephew Stephen. Writing groats and saying grits? It s a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones. Phlegm. Large. phlegmatic. grasp. bass. and key. skein. Face. Pronunciation think of Psyche! Is a paling stout and spikey? Won t it make you lose your wits. Hyphen. but so is even. roughen. and bead. Monkey.Eye. Finally. aye. gin. dead. Crevice and device and aerie. which rhymes with enough Though. Seven is right. Ought. but ever. plough. Housewife. but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Heron. glass. verdict and indict. whey. ay. but preface. through. verging. or dough. deceiver. wasp. Say aver. Ask. and cork and work. solace and gunwale. Ear. granary. stowed. canary. Islington and Isle of Wight. out. Turk and jerk. I. give. donkey. leisure. ass. or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup My advice is to give up!!! Phonetic Phoolishness (An Excerpt) 3If you pronounce head. Neither. fever. not efface. . scourging. joust and scour. but target.

Not g in get. Which word is also written: Gaol Now note the difference with gaol. Treat but threat and thread but tread. We say dreamt but also dreamed (The latter rhyming with esteemed). Quite different again is height. Lice but malaise. Many and peat but seat and great (The last word rhymes with freight and weight). A prison is often called a jail. in gem and gent. Bean and lean and mean but meant. advice. Grew and row but sow and row Measles does not sound like measure. . and light. Braid and maid and laid but said. The next line should be read with care: The praying prayer says his prayer. indict. Which rhymes with foal and dole and roll. For instance: Dear and fear and hear but bear Gear and tear but wear and tear Yeast and least and pleased but pleasant. Beast and breast and please but pleasant.You ll hear the last word rhymes with deed And in this poem you will find Many items one of a kind. concise. Owl and jowl are not like bowl. police. Which sounds like bike. device. Vice but crevice.

on the level. live but live. Brocade but decade bow and bow. alive. rush but bush Herring erring. Bound but wound and rush but push. Sward but sword and word by Lord. earned but feared. tester and waster. Master plaster. Now have a shot at evil devil. The same applied to could and boulder. No t is heard in fasten chasten.Try fowl and then ghoul and lastly soul. Bait and gait and strait but plaid. We say freak and streak but steak Leak and freak and speak but break Meadow has the sound of ed. some and home. Reveal and revel. . read and read. Desert and desert. Wear but weary. Leave out the g in gnaw and gnat. Tomb and womb. Cereal does not sound like seal. Real not like zeal and heal. Load and toad and road but broad. bomb but comb. Dread but dreary. Note: Lead and lead. Gauze but gauge. cloth but both. Eve but ewe and froth betroth. heard but beard. Lumber plumber. Life. believe but sieve ******** Should is different from shoulder.

Enough but hiccough. you know! Then try: schism schedule scheme. Lout. pout. but toll. . but tally. gall but gal. Horse but worse and lost but post. Meander from mean. canoe but woe. But cut but gut hut but put Quite and conduct. Tall. plough but through All seven different. Can you pronounce without mistake? Macleod quay Rachel ache Petal penal want pant slant Van rabble grand and grant? I don t blame you if you can t! Worm but form and doll. Can you bear it? Minute differs from minute (The latter rhymes with cute and mute). Star and bar and par but war. Cost and frost but most and ghost. Calm but valve and ball but pal. gout and rout but route (Make it rhyme with shoot and fruit). I wonder if you want some more? If so try realm created treated Leicester heifer height receipted Heinous feign weird veil conceited Sheik sleigh sleight skein sweated seated Debated ate senate.Hose but lose. suite but suit. Preamble differs from ream.

hug.And cleanse is not pronounced like clean. Previous precious. Raffle stiff. Golf but wolf. D yeknow anything so crafty? As these puzzles I bet you don t. dub. chance but change. and crown but grown. Mayor but major. it does sound strange! Toe foe doe and how but shoe. daughter draught Leaf but deal and font but won t. Friend but fiend. There are many more BUT these will do! . Bug. down but own. but huge and Hugh.

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