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  • How to Be a Total Man-Magnet
  • How to Work Less and Get Wayyy More Done
  • The New Marriage Rule: Age Matters
  • How to Totally Rule Your World
  • How to Be Rich, Sexy, and Famous
  • The Secret to Getting What You Want in Life
  • The New Life Rules to Follow Now
  • The 10 Most Annoying Text Habits Ever
  • 7 Travel Secrets to Keep You Safe
  • The Fierce New Secret to Success
  • How to Make a Choice You'll Never Regret
  • Mind Tricks That Get You What You Want
  • How to Spot a Real-Life Vampire
  • How to Save Your Ass with Self-Defense
  • The Buddy System That Can Save Your Life
  • 30 Sexy Conversation Starters
  • Top 10 Signs Your Internship Boss Might Go Letterman on You
  • Sexy Texts to Entice Him
  • Yes, You Should Trust Your Gut
  • Read This Before You Go on Facebook Again

How to Be a Total Man-Magnet

A girl who got paid to help guys meet women shares her insights into what motivates men to make a move.

"Is it just me or is that chick checking us out?"

Do you ever go out sometimes and feel like guys aren’t giving you the attention you deserve, and you can’t figure out why? That used to happen to me too. Then I became a part-time "wingwoman" — a girl who helps guys meet chicks in bars by posing as the guys’ platonic female friend. (Wingwoman services are available in many cities, including New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, Dallas, Miami, and Saint Louis.) While earning my wings, I learned lots of little tricks every single girl can use to improve her success with guys. Warning: Once you perfect these moves, you might find that you’re such a powerful man-magnet, you attract guys everywhere. I used to date a guy who asked me out at the ATM! Wingtip #1: Go out in groups of no bigger than three. Larger groups of girls are supertough (read: intimidating) to approach. Three is a good number because your two friends can keep each other company when a guy walks up to chat with you. Wingtip #2: Hold a drink in your hand. Guys don’t want to be used. Meaning: They don’t want to buy you a drink right off the bat. My clients and I used to look for the girl with half a cocktail. That way, if she finishes her beverage while chatting with my guy, he could offer to buy her another to keep things moving. Wingtip #3: Smile genuinely. So obvious, right? But I can’t stress it enough — and I can’t believe I ever acted aloof in an attempt to seem sexier. Now I know that women smile all the time naturally (when we’re nervous, when we’re trying to be polite, etc.), so if you don’t do it at all, you look like an unapproachable bitch. Wingtip #4: Work the eye contact.

To reel him in from across the room, tilt your chin down a bit and flash him a couple of sultry glances. (Guys love it when you look up at them — it makes them feel manly.) If the guy across the room is so gorgeous you have a hard time looking straight at him and are simply too nervous, fake it by focusing on the tiny area right between his eyes. He won't be able to tell the difference. Wingtip #5: Don’t immediately ask him what he does. Some men think all women are gold diggers. A lot of my clients hated being asked what their job is. It’s that fear-of-being-used thing again. Wingtip #6 Make positive small talk. Once I started studying other women, I couldn’t believe how negative some of us appear. When you’re out on the town, you’re supposed to be having fun, and any complaint (“It’s hot in here!”), pessimism (“There will definitely be another terrorist attack”), or snarky quip (“Look at that chick’s belt — so 2002!”) pretty much pokes a hole in the fun-girl aura you should be projecting. Some better small-talk topics: recent vacations, favorite bands, hilarious movies. You can hit him with your deep, dark world-view some other time.

How to Work Less and Get Wayyy More Done
You know those (extremely) rare workdays that just seem to fly by? A new book says it's possible to recreate that feeling, all day, every day. Here’s how...

Imagine that your boss offers you $100 to complete a challenging new project as quickly as possible. He then asks your co-worker to complete the same project, but without any kind of cash reward or time constraint. Who is more likely to finish first? According to the theory in Daniel H. Pink’s fascinating new book, Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates You, your co-worker is. What the what? We’d think that extra wad of cash would be a serious motivator. But it turns out that intrinsic motivation — the drive to do something because it is interesting, challenging, and absorbing — is far more effective in producing results than extrinsic motivation — the “if you do this, then I’ll give you that” model that most businesses use with their employees. This is because when a reward is offered, as it is in the scenario above, you become more focused on those shiny new pumps that $100 would afford you, rather than on the best way to complete the task. Drive says that the secret to being more productive and feeling more fulfilled is to enjoy what you’re doing, and to feel rewarded by the work itself. We know — easier said than done. But Drive takes into consideration that even if you’re not 100 percent in love with your job, you can still be more successful and feel happier just by figuring out which tasks truly engage you — aka those rare moments of, “Ohmigod, I missed lunch I was so caught up in my work.” Drive refers to these moments as “flow,” and offers up nine strategies to produce flow more often, and for longer periods of time. Here’s one of them: Give Yourself a “Flow” Test Here's how: Set a reminder on your computer or cell to go off forty random times in a week. Each time it beeps, write down what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and whether you’re in “flow.” Record your observations, look at the patterns, and consider the following questions: * Which moments produced feelings of “flow?” Where were you? Who were you with? * Are certain times of day more flow-friendly than others? How could you restructure your day based on your findings? * How might you increase the number of optimal experiences and reduce moments when you felt disengaged or distracted?

The New Marriage Rule: Age Matters
Studies reveal that you should reach a specific age before you get married.

He may be Mr. Right, but are you ready?

We doubt you were shocked when Avril Lavigne recently announced she was splitting from her husband of three years. But while it’s tempting to assume the cause was her bratty persona or rocker lifestyle, comments from her friends suggested that something more universal was at play: She was only 21 when she tied the knot and later told pals that she realized she’d been too young to

make such a life-altering decision. Could fellow young celebrity divorcées Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Britney Spears have also hit the same age-related issue? We doubt you were shocked when Avril Lavigne recently announced she was splitting from her husband of three years. But while it’s tempting to assume the cause was her bratty persona or rocker lifestyle, comments from her friends suggested that something more universal was at play: She was only 21 when she tied the knot and later told pals that she realized she’d been too young to make such a life-altering decision. Could fellow young celebrity divorcées Reese Witherspoon, Kate Hudson, and Britney Spears have also hit the same age-related issue? The Magic Number There are practical reasons for the mid-20s dividing line, and most of them boil down to two biggies: education and money. Turns out, the more years of higher education a woman has under her belt on her wedding day, the lower the chances that she’ll get divorced…and by 25, you’re more likely to have earned a degree or two. “Educated women tend to be more confident about who they are and less willing to settle for a man who doesn’t meet their standards,” explains Terri Orbuch, PhD, author of Five Simple Steps to Take Your Marriage From Good to Great. Odds are that by 25 you’re also supporting yourself, so there’s less incentive for you to rush into marriage because you’re seeking financial security from him. But the marriage-related benefits of working and having money of your own go beyond feeling secure, says Pepper Schwartz, PhD, author of Finding Your Perfect Match. Learning to budget your cash carefully when you’re single will help you avoid financial problems—one of the main causes of couple fights—for the rest of your life. And juggling responsibilities, dealing with differing personalities, and resolving conflicts on the job force you to develop skills that are necessary for maintaining long-term love. Knowing the Real You At 25, you’ve had time for some crucial life experiences, including a relationship or two that may have improved your Mr. Right radar. “You’ve probably dated enough to have a better idea of what you don’t want in a man, which makes it easier to know what you can live with and can’t live without,” says Orbuch. Perhaps the most important aspect of waiting is that you’ll know what your goals and values really are, says Paul Coleman, PsyD, author of The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Intimacy. While you don’t want to marry someone just like you, marriage is a lot easier if you two share a similar outlook on life. Twenty-four and already married to the man of your dreams? Don’t worry: Many young marriages survive. But given the choice, you might consider putting off the big day until your mid-20s or later.

Beauty on your fingertips

At mySkin. the smoky eyes make your eyes look wicked or that retro fringe compliments your face or not.com.teamfemina. You can also chat and connect with other skin-worried people just like you on their community page. beauty trends. Just upload your mug onto the phone and let your iPhone give your face a virtual makeover according to your face structure.The app can be downloaded from the Apple App Store. 2010 . and your skin problems. skin-care routines and lifestyle changes. upload your latest photograph and figure out whether the deep shade of purple lipstick suits you.dailymakeover. The website also shows you a gallery of virtual makeovers people have had. Step-by-step instructions complete with advice on how to try it at home makes YouTube your best friend on the internet. millions of people upload and share videos of every possible thing on earth. YouTube www. Daily Makeover www. to how-to demos. just type in the keywords on YouTube and watch the magic unfold. On YouTube.06:49 PM From free makeover demos to online beauty consultations to even make up tips and tricks on your phone. once you sign up. If you want to know how to create marcel waves (a vintage hairstyle) or how to apply black nail polish neatly or hide your last night’s vestiges skilfully with make up.youtube. Once done.myskin. The app uses a cool facial recognition technology and gives out make-up advice and beauty routines. This helps skincare experts employed by the website to narrow down your skin issues. 20 gifts that totally suck . All at a fee of course. At the Daily Makeover all you need to do is hop over to the Makeover Studio section. the latest hairstyles celebs are spotting these days. And the best part is that you don’t need to register nor do you need to pay anything out of your pocket.com Your phone can whisper beauty and make up secrets to you now thanks to the new Makeup application on the Apple iPhone.By beauty. Step two involves talking about the products you use and whether they work on your skin or not.com If you are the type who just loves freebies and cant be bothered to surf through endless beauty websites for advice. suggest products. Questions are asked regarding your skin type. Jan 19.apple.com Now you can get advice on skin troubles at just a click of a mouse. mySkin www. So don’t miss out on checking your virtual avatar first before you put on that pancake for the next party. and tips. a video sharing website. the internet is abuzz with a bevy of beauty applications (apps) just for you. right from movies to music. How cool is that? Makeup for iPhone www. the site does a skin mapping and profiling for you.com Want a makeover but not sure how to go about it? Fret not! Just try out a virtual makeover first. the kind of lifestyle you lead. Amrita Bose presents a round up. just watch a video of it. a detailed analysis is done of your skin.

sticky. 18. please don’t walk into the party with a lame bunch of flowers.give this one a skippety skip.we like to do our own grocery shopping. Handmade stuff like that pink and black muffler (your first ever knitting project) is sweet but then… 7. team it up with a book on “50 Cool Uses for Half-Dead Blossoms”. A book on how to lose weight . Dec 18. In short. don’t bother spending the bucks.gift that to a friend and earn an enemy for life! The same goes for weighing machines or other similarly suggestive objects. 1.teamfemina. awfully and extremely loathsome. There are better ways to flaunt your spending power than by gifting something ugly. Whatever you do. We would rather dig ourselves a grave than commit a sartorial sin in those hideous clothes! 15. 5. And no. Classy perfumes are cool but deodorants are a strict no-no when it comes to gifts unless you want to get a clear message across. 4. Spare us the hassle of trying to figure out what to do/ where to place/ whom to regift that useless crystal piece. 11. self help books only suggest that we could use some help. useless and ridiculously expensive like an indoor fountain. they spell “you’re not good enough yet”.By buzz. If at all you do. 17. 14. . 16. 2. Gifting ivory. 10. We might put up with your unhealthy obsession for a movie star or sportsperson but don’t test our goodness with posters. a bottle of wine to a teetotaler or a kitten to someone who is not fond of pets . grease laden sweets . Unless you want your run-of-the-mill photo-frame from a local gift shop circulated back to you a few parties later. memorabilia and autographed scrapbooks. fur or any other remains of a dead animal is totally. 12. We could probably write a book on “why not to gift a vase”.the worst gifting faux pas. Buying us a ‘useful’ item is a noble idea but vacuum cleaners and toasters kinda cross the line unless they are specifically asked for. 13. 2009 . Fake jewellery and tacky trinkets are very likely to end up adorning our domestic help. 3.03:16 PM Racking your brains over cool gift ideas for the holiday season? We make it easier for you by telling you what NOT to gift. 6. Gifting religious paraphernalia like idols and pictures of your favourite deity and spiritual books will only make you look like a wannabe fanatic. Mostly bought out of well-meaning intentions. A box of icky. 9. We don’t need you to buy us random stuff like a box of Pringles or a bottle of Worcestershire sauce . Presenting cookies to a diabetic. it's not just the thought that counts. 8.

Doing so will show off your wrists (a move men find particularly attractive because it hints at openness and vulnerability) and leave your midsection — a power zone that communicates confidence — unobstructed.combined. If you’re standing. Let Your Cocktail Do the Talking: Hold your glass in one hand and off to the side as opposed to directly in front of you with two hands. Wear a strapless dress that maximizes the amount of shoulder you show off. bad gifts are like bad karma . As other people walk in. Hands Off Your Hair: Messing with your tresses sends a message to both men and women that you’re insecure or nervous. 7. grab one or two of your friends and head straight for the middle of the room. Then wait until after you say hi to someone to flash them a big smile.19. you can get the same effect by leaning on a nearby bar or countertop with one arm. passé and some more pass&#233. 6. Each time you move to a different setting. which comes off as insincere. Perfect Your Smile: The biggest mistake people make in social situations is putting on the perma-smile. which makes them suddenly get the urge to refill their drink. This subtle move amps up your sexiness factor and exudes confidence.. the more you will stand out in a crowd. move one elbow onto the back of your chair. change your locale every ten or fifteen minutes. you’ll appear to be the center of attention and they’ll naturally gravitate towards you. casually place a hand on his or her arm. 8. don a close-lipped smirk. 20. Don’t Be Afraid to Touch: When you’re chatting with someone. you’ll be seen from a new angle.. 4. making you seem instantly more dynamic. Touch triggers good feelings and signals special treatment — so not only will the person you’re talking to like you more. So beware! . like you have a secret you’re just dying to tell. Hw to b the party’s life 1. 5. Get Moving: As the party gets packed. You want them to think that they’re the reason you’re suddenly so happy.they always come back. A tie and cuff set is passé. . Make sure it’s a solid color (patterns cause you to blend in) such as red. other people will wish they were the object of your rapt attention. 2. Try This Alluring Posture: Rather than sitting with your hands at your side. 3. It can be as simple as walking from the bar over to the window or the couch. Show Your Shoulders: The more skin you show in the winter. Instead. Take the Prime Position: When you arrive. Did you ever gift someone plastic jars and containers? You did? Gasp!Remember. fuchsia or turquoise and you’ll turn more heads than all the women in LBDs.

If you're trying to get into a club and the bouncer is turning away almost everyone ahead of you in line. And it's always better to blend in rather than stand out. But just remember: if a doorman. If the get-together is at someone's house. Tell a little white lie. don't even think about getting there till 10. and the dress code. Thanks so much for having us. Bouncers will almost always say no. everyone who wasn't on the list will already have tried and been turned away.. And the bouncer or event planner will be much more lax about checking names. Imagine never being turned away by an a-hole bouncer or missing a party your friend's friend's friend is throwing again. and stick to a number that isn't so memorable. Shake his hand. transferring the bill. If it started at 8 p. Use the info you gather from your research to pick out the right outfit. or Secret Service agent starts giving you the evil eye or flat out asks you to leave.or a government hearing. the easier it will be to fib your way in (i. but you've gotta admit that having the balls and the know-how to get into an event you're not invited to is pretty awesome. So we got celeb event planner and author of Party Like a Rock Star. Find out who will be there. admit defeat. (Never ask first if you can give him money. you can always tell the bouncer — or host if it's a raging party and you'll go unnoticed once inside — that you are having a bathroom emergency. 3. Grease the doorman. No party is worth causing an embarrassing scene. So save the peacockfeather cocktail dress and neon pumps for another night.6 Secrets to Getting into Any Party or Club December 17.. "Hi. wait until your turn then step up with a $20 folded against your palm." The hostess will most likely invite you in rather than risking an awkward social faux pas. Here goes: 1. The more information you have. By that time. 6. As a last resort. 4. and say. Wait until the party is really going before you try to crash.m. who is throwing it. host. Do your research. Don't elaborate since you'll just sound insincere. . show up with a gift like a bottle of wine. name drop). 2009 at 3:25PM By Zoë Ruderman | Comments Not that we approve of the couple who crashed the state dinner at the White House a few weeks ago. Jes Gordon to give us a crash course in party-partying. Google it. I'm a friend of [insert common name]. Before you attempt to infiltrate a fiesta. 2. you're not going to get in wearing jeans.e. If it's a fancy gathering. Dress appropriately..) 5.

” says Wilson. allowing others to contribute their thoughts before she bears down on the situation. president Mackenzie Allen has mastered a fresh set of strategies (in some cases working her feminine instincts. she felt she had the competence to lead the country.” says Marilyn Manning. Mackenzie isn’t so worried about being heard. Wilson. “Strong leaders combine collaboration with aggressive decision making.” says Marie C. “Intuition has often been discounted as a woman’s trait. “Intent. tuned-in listening is what engenders empathy and creates connectedness. Her Gut Gets the Final Vote After considering everyone’s opinion. but it’s now gaining ground as a valuable way to make decisions. coauthor of Leadership Skills for Women. and it got us thinking about why we should have a lot more power. Mackenzie connects with some of her colleagues. but strong leaders rise above that. but she’s not invested in their opinions of her. but in the end. Mackenzie adopts this approach with every crisis she handles. “Seeking approval is a typical female behavior.” says Wilson. Popularity Isn’t a Top Priority It’s tough not being liked by your workmates. She’s the Last to Speak We’ve all had bosses who do all the talking (yawn). But in an interesting twist. That’s why she didn’t fire any of the cabinet members when she came onboard — their experience and commitment to the job mattered more to her than being liked. She Wears the Pants (and the Bra) .S.PhD. She was discouraged from stepping up to become president. president of The White House Project and author of Closing the Leadership Gap. Geena Davis’s female president has work and life tactics that you can use to get ahead. Mackenzie lets her internal compass guide her. A woman kicking ass in the Oval Office is the fictional premise of ABC’s hit drama Commander in Chief.How to Totally Rule Your World On Commander in Chief. in others overriding them) that can give you the edge in your quest to excel on the job or anywhere. U.

Her Face Doesn’t Give Her Away If you’ve ever had a meltdown at work. “Female managers are able to combine traditionally masculine attributes — such as being decisive under pressure — with feminine strengths. you don’t need to fill out a jock strap to be a serious contender for management these days. like strong communication. Ready for the ultimate apprenticeship? BY HOLLY EAGLESON You know her famous family. you lose your clout. brains. At 26. and magnetic charm — not her last name — to get what she wants. but you might not know how hard Ivanka Trump has worked to carve out her own success.” says Manning. But the genius in Mackenzie’s leadership style is that she blends classic feminine traits with masculine traits.” says Wilson. she’s a graduate of the prestigious Wharton School of business and the . “A good manager delivers direction without giving in to the panic — at least outwardly. knowing that the only way to triumph is to make sure no one sees her sweat. and Famous Ivanka Trump uses her guts.Of course. Case in point: When the Russian president threatens to bail on a state dinner. How to Be Rich. Sexy. then you know this: When you freak. And now she's showing you ways to do the same. Mackenzie keeps her cool.

” she says. Don’t get her wrong: “I can’t be a sycophant. like keeping the peace and managing people. Emitting sex appeal on the job makes you alluring — just be smart about it. “Always allow the other person to throw out the first offer. Then the punches have more power. “I’ll make light of the fact that they’re an aggressive human being. “If you misjudge someone.” If you fight the bitch head on. Instead. no money in the budget” before you spring the fact that you know a junior coworker makes more than you do. always take the temperature of whom you’re dealing with.” Ivanka says.and she pulls it off with a brilliant set of life and work rules that allow her to be strong and knockout sexy at the same time. Handle a Bitch the Right Way Sometimes you’ll meet a heinous beast whose number-one goal is to make you squirm.” she says. “You have to be . and evoke sensuality by saying you are “passionate about a project” or have “intimate knowledge” of your industry. 4. defuse her by using humor and your power not to get ruffled. because you often over calculate things and want to spill information you’ve gathered to prove yourself. 2. Have a Secret Weapon for Negotiating Competitors bank on an easy win with Ivanka because she’s young. instead.” she advises. And when you disagree. Needless to say. Let Yourself Be Underestimated “There are people who assume I’m daddy’s little girl or just a 26-year-old blond.” says Ivanka. but they’re more shocked when the answer I get from the decision maker is okay..” You actually get more power by deferring to higher-ups in public or backing up a colleague’s ideas. so I stake my ground politely and don’t sugarcoat things. you’ll lose. Don’t Be Afraid to Make an Ass of Yourself “Some people in my industry are shocked by the brazenness of my requests.vice president of acquisitions and development of the Trump Organization. “Serious cleavage is not appropriate. nor is flirting with potential partners. Not Demanding “There’s something unappealing about someone our age being too authoritative. 3. 5. So when you’re negotiating a raise. but they get tripped up because she won’t let on that she’s done her homework. Work Your Sexiness 24/7 “When it comes to the workplace.” advises Ivanka. then move on. there’s no such thing as feminine self-expression. Think Commanding. keep your voice at a captivating low tone.” Ivanka says. Put them to use and you can build your own luxe existence. but I see it another way. she’s more likely to get the better of you. It pays to play up your differences.” By sizing up a situation with small talk — ask about their last vacation or how their family is doing — you sense whether they’re in buddy mode or need kid gloves.. let your boss say “Sorry. “Don’t ever show your hand until you really have to. 6.”) builds a solid rep.. 1. Learn to Read a Room In addition to being respectful.” she warns. “You have to rough some people around tactically so they respect you or get intimidated. the girl has style. “People like aggressive styles or gentle styles or want to feel they’re your best friend.” she says.” she says. But this fighter uses the underminers’ blind spots to her benefit... “I’m strong yet I’ll exude feminine traits. a little diplomacy (“You make a great point. “Know your audience.” she says. 7. She also just launched the Ivanka Trump fine jewelry collection.

’” Ivanka says.” When you ask for something outrageous. “If you think you can do a job that is a stretch but will test your confidence. The only way to succeed is to have more motivation than the next person. so she took charge of huge deals in Hawaii and Dubai. let people know. BY BETHANY HEITMAN 1 of 3 » . they have a leg up. they’ll relent on a lesser point you really want. like putting an unexpected idea memo on her desk. like the nicest office. And use the element of surprise to catch the boss’s eye. but the family abides by this one: “My best advice from my dad is ‘Love what you do. “She’s never going to not respect that you asked for something above your duties. “So what if she says no?” Ivanka says.” Why Being Ballsy Matters Ivanka didn’t get where she is by waiting for daddy to drop plum projects in her lap. Love What You Do The Trump business may live and die by one bottom line. The Donald doesn’t like to travel. such as your own private workspace. but if someone else in the room is less intelligent but wants it more.” she advises. “It’s as basic as that. 8. You could be a genius. Curious? Read on to find out what you need to do. they may be so taken aback.” The Secret to Getting What You Want in Life New research has uncovered a fascinating little strategy for achieving any goal.willing to embarrass yourself by laying claim to something so egregious that you may get laughed at for it.

a good friend or your significant other may worry that he or she will see less of you and subconsciously distract you from the finish line. After all. so you can at least tell your BFF.C." says K. McCulloch. Move On! "If you tell someone you want to apply to a graduate program. Why Secret Dreams Are So Freakin' Powerful Okay. PhD. and it will seem more attainable. wow. writing a screenplay. Keep reading for more reasons to stay mum." says McCulloch. right? Nope. making you less likely to actually go after it. just wanting to have something impressive to talk about at parties. If you want to get into the fashion industry." Beyond that.It's a commonly held belief that whenever you set a new goal for yourself — whether it's scoring your ideal job. That's opposed to. the more likely you'll do it because you don't want to be thought of as a failure. it can feel really special. If you announce that you're going to be devoting tons of time to a big goal. but it also helps you plan exactly which steps you need to take to get there. say." How to Self-Motivate When No One Knows Staying on task without support from your friends and family might sound impossible. schedule lots of . tried-and-true ways to do it. author of Find Your Focus Zone. A study conducted at New York University found that blabbing about your goal can give you a false sense of accomplishment. "What stops a lot of people from doing the things they dream of is other people." says Susan B. Wilson. people think about only either the really good stuff or the terrible stuff. loved ones may have ulterior motives for being naysayers. "By not telling anyone." says McCulloch." says psychologist Lucy Jo Palladino. Why should you. You feel so satisfied. right? Wrong. etc. for example. an assistant professor at Idaho State University who worked on the study. in fact. or yogacizing your bod down a size or two — you should broadcast it to everyone you know. The gist is that you must fantasize about your goal on a regular basis — think about all the awesome consequences of achieving it. they may go on about how terrible the campus is…and you may start to believe them when you really should be trusting your own gut. that's easier said than done. Of course. And doing something just for you feels selfish in a really good way. "Often. Two more reasons why keeping your dream a secret will help your cause: You'll be so antsy finally to be able to share it with everyone that you'll put your nose to the grindstone and get it done as fast as possible. that's great!" reaction. plus tips for achieving your dream on the down-low. a life coach in Michigan and founder of Get Over It. Here's an example: Imagine you tell a friend that you want to train to be a long-distance runner. the more people you tell. Then think about all the negative things you'll have to deal with along the way: sacrificing time with friends. Your bud has a "Oh. you make the fantasy more realistic. but there are some easy." Not only that. you won't run the risk of letting anyone else's opinions get in your way. PhD. "Women tend to overextend themselves for loved ones. "Surrounding yourself with people who have some connection to your dream is also sure to push you forward. New research shows the opposite is true." says McCulloch. "But by considering both. paying for expensive classes. "So if they can have something that is solely theirs. and you get a jolt of satisfaction and pride. you're making sure your goal is something you're really doing for yourself. when you're already reaping the benefits of being known as a runner? The smarter strategy: Don't tell a soul. Plus. "There's something called the fantasy realization theory that has proven to help people attain whatever they want. that you lose motivation to get up early and jog.

you no longer have to map out contentment in advance. Your strategy then? “Reevaluate your path every six months. married by 27.time with fashion-forward pals. Another factor: Since it’s now acceptable to delay marriage. how you want. 1. Can't think of anyone who fits the bill? Zip your damn lips. and neither are the situations you’re facing these days. Plus.” says career strategist Cynthia Shapiro. "Choose someone you trust completely who has never been competitive with you and has been successful at achieving her own goals. BY HOLLY EAGLESON Here’s the problem with conventional wisdom: You’re not conventional. If You Have to Blab to Someone… …Make sure you pick the right person to share your dream with. it’s to your benefit to adopt a fluid approach to planning your future. and job-hop. They may not know what you're trying to do.” says life coach Valorie Burton. and try writing an anonymous blog (just be sure to turn off the comments option). you can tell the whole world without suffering any of the negative effects of outing your secret. then tweak your goals if necessary. first kid by 30. but being around them will keep your eyes on the prize. Thankfully. So Cosmo collected a set of modern guidelines perfect for a brazen 21stcentury babe like yourself. The New Life Rules to Follow Now These truisms of today allow you the power and flexibility to get what you want. have kids later. author of What Does Somebody Have to Do to Get a Job Around Here? . you don’t want to be so locked into a game plan that you can’t grab a fabulous opportunity that comes out of the blue. That way." says Palladino. “Committing because you’re supposed to — whether it’s saying I do or sticking it out at a soulless job — prevents you from seeking situations that make you happy. You No Longer Need a Five-Year Plan It used to be that people were encouraged to set a strict time line for achieving milestones: dream job by 25.

“It can be easier to be open with nonblood relatives. author of Hooking Up: Sex.” adds Maysonave. and friends.” 4. And don’t underestimate young dudes: Research from the State University of New York at Oswego found that college guys may prefer relationships to one-night stands. But companies have realized that interoffice dating actually increases productivity by as much as 20 percent. Taking a time-out to refocus after an unpleasant event — even if it’s just going to stay with a friend in Miami for a few weeks — can be an option. In fact. The fact is.” says Bogle. professor of psychology at Yale University and author of Women Who Think Too Much. at least 50 percent of workers have dated a fellow employee. Guys may just need a nudge to take it to the next level. “Major companies now realize that a woman doesn’t have to be masculine to be powerful. Thankfully. influential businesswomen like Oprah Winfrey have shown that you can have great success and great hair.” says Cheryl Dellasega. you see past superficial stuff.2. it’s a plus. PhD. booty call could become your boyfriend. coworkers. says Kathleen A. PhD. author of Forced to Be Family. “It’s now common for women who have acrimonious relationships with their parents or live across the country from them to create family like bonds with roommates. “If he has a steady job and friends who are coupling up. and Relationships on Campus. But to convert an FWB into a BF. don’t feel guilty about establishing a surrogate family of friends. you used to need two things: a stellar résumé and a Hillary Clinton–style crop. You Can Run from Your Problems After a devastating breakup. Mixing Business and Pleasure Is Wise Not so long ago. Well. “When you get to know a coworker. “A change of scenery may help you objectively choose the next best course of action. “Women who wear makeup earn 20 to 30 percent more income. If yours is more toxic than tight-knit.m. they don’t have the time or patience to court for months before finding out if they click physically. and 25 percent of them — including Barack and Michelle Obama — have married. so they test the waters. your 2 a.” says clinical psychologist Renee Gilbert.” says corporate image consultant Sherry Maysonave. Bogle. like height. “You’re also bound to be intellectually compatible and have a built-in level of respect. 3. “Women think they have to stay and ruminate over a problem to fix it. People are so busy with their careers. beauty and fashion sense can be assets. that would be a red flag to you online or at a bar.” 5. coauthor of Office Mate: The Employee Handbook for Finding — and Managing — Romance on the Job. dating a coworker was considered career suicide. Dating. PhD. 6. It’s Possible to Turn a Hookup into a Real Relationship Believe it or not. Your Family Doesn’t Have to Be the Most Important Thing Not everyone is born into a nurturing clan. author of Casual Power.” . there’s a good chance he’s relationship-ready. so many have loosened policies against it. but that increases anxiety and depression. you dream of escaping to Italy to drown your sorrows in gnocchi and gelato.” says Susan NolenHoeksema. PhD. experts have one word for you: arrivederci.” says Stephanie Losee. Short Hair Is Not a Job Requirement To reach the top of your profession. provided it’s not a boss/ subordinate situation. “If showing femininity builds confidence. which may lead to more intimate connections. let it be known after the first two hookups that you want more than a fling.

associate professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Austin. The Double Message Of course you screen calls. and your heart skips a tiny beat every time you get a text from him. an indiscretion can sometimes draw a duo closer together. nearly 2 million men have chosen to stay home and raise the kids. says Melissa Milkie. right? Well. Everyone does. You Don’t Have to Grow Up and Buy a House Already Once upon a time. so they respect a successful woman and don’t assume that the man has to be the breadwinner. coauthor of Changing Rhythms of American Family Life. “Many young guys saw their moms work growing up. and you see the missed call and the voice message alert. you get one asking what you’re up to this . property taxes. adults who rented were dismissed as Peter Pans with negative cash flow. “You may make more in the long run by putting cash you’d pay in interest on a home loan. But your phone is still working.” says Kirshenbaum. says psychologist Mira Kirshenbaum. The Texting Tease You’re seeing a really cute/smart/funny/cool new guy. This setup works best when the wife also has progressive ideas about gender equality and allows the husband to control some aspects of the household so there is an equal division of power. a carrier pigeon?” 4. Stay-at-Home Dads Are Catches. A Relationship Can Survive After One Person Cheats Cheaters are cruel. they’re also capable of understanding what the little bobble head with the sound waves coming out of him symbolizes? Text back. The 10 Most Annoying Text Habits Ever 3. A guy who’s willing to stay home is likely supportive. So if the cheater is deeply apologetic and committed to working to improve the relationship. it takes a bomb going off to get them to address their problems. and narcissistic. and repairs into investments like T-bills or inflation-indexed bonds. Sometimes you’re in the middle of something and sometimes you just don’t feel like talking. What’s more.” explains Shiller. “For some couples. Not Lazy Asses With 25 percent of chicks outearning their spouses and childcare costs skyrocketing. 8. So why — why?! — do certain people feel the need to send a text letting you know that they just left a message? Don’t they realize that if someone is smart enough to read a text. but the rest are well-meaning if imperfect people who love their partner but made a stupid mistake. PhD.7.” says Robert Shiller. At present. author of When Good People Have Affairs. In the middle of the week. able to compromise. it could be shrewder to rent until the market rebounds. and comfortable with his masculinity — all great qualities in a partner. professor of economics at Yale University and author of The Subprime Solution. it can be salvaged. it may be smarter to rent. But given the current mortgage crisis. 9. selfish. 15 to 20 percent are. “What’s next. in some cases. “It’s a misconception that real estate is an investment guaranteed to make money.” says Aaron Rochlen. PhD.

Does he then proceed to make a plan with you? No. The Bulk Texter An example of what a series of texts from this person might look like: Text 1: Hey! Text 2: What’s up? Text 3: What are you doing tonight? Text 4: Some of us are going to Cool People Bar tonight. thanks to your confident attitude.” Clearly. But your phone dings.weekend. cool. but call my secretary if you want to schedule something. Assuming he wants to do something together.” Or. An example of what you could text back: Text 1: Please Text 2: never Text 3: text Text 4: me Text 5: this Text 6: way Text 7: again. watching movies.” This way. “Oh okay. look what my Mom said about her gallbladder! Omg you won’t . you let him know that it’s looking pretty relaxed so far. but you also have to read all of their SUPER-cute texts.” Your buddy will get the point that some people actually have a life. Text 5: Around 10 Text 6: It’s gonna be me and Chris Text 7: Are you coming? Text 8: Let us know Text 9: Byeee! Text 10: lolz An example of what that exchange should look like: Text 1: Hey. 7. “Guys. The Bored Texter You’ve just finished a sufficiently long and entertaining texting exchange with someone. look at this one!!” The cure? A dose of their own medicine. and now you’re ready to put your phone down for a little while. He responds. the ball is in his court.. Chris and I are going to Cool People Bar around 10 tonight. look what he wrote to me! Omg look at what he said now! Haha aww.” You stand there with a perplexed look on your face. Send a text saying. Let us know if you wanna come. 5. and it’s another text from said person. “Hey. It looks like this: “Soooo. “Running. reading books.. The Show-and-Teller Love is wonderful. “la la la. “What upppp. but ultimately you’re the one who is in charge. Not only do you have to listen to them tell every insignificant story about how cute it was that their boyfriends ate pancakes for dinner and woke up with a funny hairdo..” Or.. People gushing on and on about their amazing love life? Not so much. they have nothing else to say and just want something to do. Respond “Yeah. (one-minute pause) Text 8: For “realz.” 6. We’re huge advocates of love and being in love and enjoying that love. baking.

snacks in hand. BlackBerry. or boyfriend. You open the message and it says. And hears it vibrating violently every two minutes.believe how I’m planning to organize my sock drawer! Aww. .” Do people not even have the decency to include the o? The offender doesn’t even need to reply to the message. and here you finally are. call up a friend and loudly discuss how rude the guy texting throughout the entire movie was. so you send back a detailed and informative reply. The Lingering K This one is especially aggravating if you’re not on an unlimited texting plan. 2.“k. But the guy in front of you insists on ruining your experience by texting for the entire 96 minutes. You get a message asking how your day went or if you’ll be free at a certain time. he’s doing it again!!” 8. ever get comfortable with using text slang and abbreviations. But if they feel the need to. 10. 3.. 1. Your phone dings again. Hang the Do Not Disturb sign on the door when you’re out so would-be thieves will think the room is occupied. or “anything that gives you more room to text. to the cent. Sidekick. The Needs-to-Grow-a-Pair Texter Guys should never. check the door and window locks. The Goobers-and-Popcorn Texter The previews are over. 9. Then hold your palm out expectantly. no girl wants to associate the men in their lives with tween-speak.” He’ll realize how outdated his text-talk is. travel safety expert Marybeth Bond explains what you must know before you check in. my dog is wagging his tail. The next time he sends you a “TTY L8ER” or “C U 2morrow. Then get ready to start running. Once inside your room. could they not at least drum up something a little more personal/creative/not totally unnecessary? Respond by letting them know how much. especially if there are sliding glass doors — an entry point offering easier views of and access into your room. If the desk clerk mentions your room number out loud and there are other guests around. Oh.. 7 Travel Secrets to Keep You Safe Freaked out that a creepy perv made a nude video of ESPN Anchor Erin Andrews by peeping into her hotel room? You’re not alone. Ask to be assigned a room above the ground floor. Whether he’s a friend. When the lights come up at the end of the flick. they owe you for superfluous texts the next time you’re together. Here. date.” tell him that he should really consider an iPhone. Here’s a little secret he doesn’t know: EVERYONE sees his phone lighting up. you’ve been waiting to see this movie for weeks. request that you be given a different room.

If you really want to succeed. pack some safety pins and duct tape so you can make sure the curtains are completely closed.4. Pull the drapes shut as soon as you walk into your hotel room. check out Marybeth Bond’s Website. We tell you how to take the plunge. 5. cover the peephole on the interior side of the door with a Band-Aid. it's time to make a bold. If you like to walk around naked in your hotel room (no judgment!). If you plan on staying at an inexpensive motel. brazen move. For more safety tips. don’t mark a first name or the number of people in the room — this reveals to anyone passing your room that you’re alone. If you use the preorder menu that hangs on your door all night. 7. If you’re planning to arrive at night. This way you can easily peel it off when you need to peek out. BY MOLLY FAHNER . The Fierce New Secret to Success Forget everything you've heard about the importance of playing it safe right now. 6. The Gutsy Traveler. have the rental car agency or hotel arrange for someone to accompany you to and from parking lots.

And remember this: "The survival skill of the 21st century is going to be dealing with change. author of On Becoming Fearless and creator of the news-and-politics Website TheHuffingtonPost. When things are changing a lot — and quickly — it's scary.and of failing.. Well. As the president's chief of staff. or fearlessness. Who hasn't wished at times for a magic fearlessness potion. "These people often do their finest work in periods of flux. something you could gulp down that would instantly transform you into Gutsy Girl? But lacking magic and with the world in an uncertain state. but if you have weighed the pros and cons and . And here's the really counterintuitive part: This is actually the best time ever to do something fierce and bold.Think of one big thing you would love to do but haven't. Instead. of turning your life upside down. now? you're probably thinking." Farley says.'" So how do you incorporate that inspiration into your own life? New research is showing that you don't have to be born brave to act that way. Rahm Emanuel. "The upside of the downturn is that it may force you to confront your darkest fears and push through them. an expert on thrill seekers at Temple University. you can crib some crucial ballsy skills from people who do come by their fearlessness naturally. Read on for the four key ways to tap in to your inner tigress. you're better off listening to your instincts. now. "Times of upheaval can indeed lead to major positive shifts in our lives. it's fear — of navigating new territory. When my best friend got canned last week and everyone says the economy's totally whacked? Yes. But when it comes to bigger ones (like which job to take). they take action." How to Make a Choice You'll Never Regret Forget the psychic and Magic-8 Ball. Live Like a Type T The first step is to figure out where you stand on the spectrum of risk taking. Chances are. Get ready not only to survive but to thrive. but it also opens the door to unexpected possibilities. Farley has devised a T scale (the T stands for thrill) to describe the distinction: At one end is the Type T." says Arianna Huffington. That's not to say you should buy a car on a whim. While other people get nervous and avoid trying anything different. What. Then ask yourself what's stopping you. Simply using these clear-headed strategies can ensure that you do the right thing. it pays to be rational. PhD. and at the other is type t. 1. "Type T's are natural-born thrill seekers who live for excitement and uncertainty. put it: 'You never want a serious crisis to go to waste — and what I mean by that is an opportunity to do things you thought you could not do before." according to psychologist Frank Farley..com. it's tempting to stay in your bubble and put off going after those dreams. They look at chaos as an opportunity for change. Go with Your Gut Instincts A study found that when making simple choices (like what cereal to buy). we've got a secret for you: It takes only one leap of faith to propel your life forward for the better.

5. However. Get into a Stress-Free State Go for a haircut right after you are laid off and you could wind up looking like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men. on a friend's or boyfriend's feelings. 4. telling your guy you cheated on him once three years ago may relieve your guilt.still can't reach a conclusion. we tend to act rashly when we're nervous or upset. 6. Before seeking someone's opinion. For example. try to resolve the disagreement quickly so you can make a more clearheaded resolution. which is why people will often tell you to sleep on it. Put Down the Mojito There's a reason Google Mail Goggles was invented: Cocktails make it easier to act. But Avoid Discussing It with Everyone So you know that running your decision past a few key people in your life is smart. and hearing others' perspectives (whether you agree with them or not) can help you arrive at a more informed — and better — conclusion. but it will probably cause him to break up with you.. let your snap judgment be the tiebreaker and go with what just feels right. and barista out of it. on your credit-card bill — whatever) before making a controversial move. 2...e. And since one study found that stress has a residual effect. Hashing out your options allows you to further process the decision. belaboring a decision for too long means you aren't comfortable with any of the choices you have before you and you need to consider alternatives. . Research suggests that anxiety not only makes it more difficult to settle on something but also actually makes you more likely to come to the wrong conclusion. Sleep on It. or whomever you trust to give an honest opinion is a good idea. ask yourself if the person is really in a position to know what's best for you.and consider the outcome (on your health. So if you're fighting with your boyfriend while choosing between two apartments. Consider the Long-Term Consequences Some decisions make short-term sense but in the long run can be disastrous. Talk It Over with a Select Few Chatting about your predicament with close friends. If the answer is no. your mom. Although one drink can relax you while you're agonizing over a choice. getting shut-eye) can help you analyze your options and come to a conclusion. wait a few days after you've kissed and made up before forking over your security deposit.but Just for One Night Researchers say unconscious deliberation (i. doing things like sitting in the sun or having unprotected sex often can feel right in the moment. but these toxic behaviors have serious health ramifications.. But it's best to keep your hairstylist.. Similarly. A good rule of thumb: Play out each possible scenario in your mind. trainer. more than that can cloud your judgment. 3. 7. keep it to yourself. The reason being. Soliciting too many opinions — especially from people who don't know you that well — can leave you with lots of conflicting (not to mention bad) advice.

But don't paper your cube with canines. . Blow Off Bullies Who Are Pressuring You When grappling with a decision. There's a subtle tactic to make things go your way in your career. life-changing choice based on what your horoscope instructs you to do. While it's definitely fun to let these things influence small decisions (which dress to wear on a date. Don't Leave It Up to Chance It can be dangerous to make a major. body language. Behold the smart. And if that's not possible.8. and symbols. It's called priming. Here's how to use subliminal moves to get an edge. sneaky strategy behind this science. and social world — one that has nothing to do with effort or luck. pretend you're advising a friend on the matter. In our rapidly changing world. 10. love life. What might have been a shrewd move a few years ago — like buying a house or leaving your 9-to-5 gig to start up your own business — could wreak havoc on your life today. What you want: To appear more powerful in the office hierarchy How to get it: Wear a chic all-black outfit to work. Mind Tricks That Get You What You Want You can actually learn to use subliminal messages to make people adore you. which will help you act more logically and guilt-free. 9. but they may also act more loyal toward you. Research shows that by exposing people to specific words. Distance yourself from the person or people pressuring you while you sort out your thoughts. and don't smile as often as you're inclined. At Work What you want: To seem like a team player How to get it: Put up a picture of your dog (or even of a friend's pup) in your workspace. they can be affected in a way that benefits you without their even realizing what's going on. experts recommend assessing each new opportunity with a fresh mind-set. it's important not to rely simply on experience. Remember That You Can't Always Use the Past to Predict the Future Especially when you're making a choice that will seriously affect your bank account or lifestyle. the bigger stuff (dumping your boyfriend. it can be easy to be swayed in one direction by someone who has self-serving motives — whether it's a salesperson talking you into buying a pair of shoes you can't afford or your parents being all up in your grill about going to a particular grad school. Research shows that too many personal shots make other perceive you as a less professional worker. moving across the country) should not be left up to the stars. if you should ask out a guy). they not only tend to presume you're loyal. Why it works: When people look at shots of a pet dog.

"The sun felt so fabulously warm against my skin") to paint a mental picture about the climate. What you want: To have The Talk without his flipping out How to get it: Take him to a restaurant that has soft. With a Man What you want: To seem more alluring when you meet a guy How to get it: Talk about a beach vacation you took using sensual terms (e. What you want: To bond with the boss How to get it: Offer to get her a hot cup of coffee — even if you're not her assistant — and chat her up as she's drinking it. Touch activates the human desire to bond. Why it works: Researchers think that simply being in this kind of an environment can influence a person to behave in terms of communicating. author. Why it works: A recent study showed that just by holding the high-temp liquid. such as a political figure. if you start moving yours in a similar but unobtrusive way. she'll implicitly assume you're an emotionally warm person — someone very likable. Why it works: We like to see ourselves in other people. Why it works: According to psychologists. Why it works: Experts say that as you talk about their hero in a positive light. like touching your hair when she touches hers. then the person feels more positive toward you. Just don't hand her an iced latte or you could trigger a frosty reception. Why it works: It's a proven way to win someone's affection: Libraries and car dealerships have higher customer-satisfaction ratings when workers imperceptibly touch their clients..g. Researchers at New York University found that when you're sitting across from someone who's unconsciously shaking his foot. In Social Settings What you want: To impress your guy's parents the first time you meet How to get it: Casually praise someone whom you're certain his mom or dad holds high esteem. What you want: Your crush to fall for you on a dinner date How to get it: Subtly touch the back of his hand as you're reaching across the table for bread. your targets start to think about all the qualities they admire in that person. What you want: Your slob roomie to clean up after herself more often . or celebrity.Why it works: You'll be seen as assertive and directed. What you want: To make a friend out of an acquaintance How to get it: Start mirroring her behavioral tics. And because they're looking at you. while the act of keeping a neutral face is associated with higher status and power in a work environment. this seductive I-feel-like-I'm-there speech will make him associate your personality with the lush sensations you're describing. they'll subconsciously link you with that person's positive traits. Studies have found that people in black uniforms (like sports teams) are viewed as more dominant figures. That means that he'll be more likely to be open and disclose his true feelings to you. feminine colors and furniture with few angular lines.

How to Spot a Real-Life Vampire Twilight's Edward Cullen puts his life at stake to save his love.How to get it: Spray a bit of liquid all-purpose cleaner in the air right before she enters the skanky spot in question. They may not have visible fangs or a fear of sunlight. You can also prime her by squirting a little fluid in the bathroom sink before she goes in to use it. but many mortals are not so kind. but there are certain types of people who suck up your time. BY ASHLEY WOMBLE The Buddy Thief . Cosmo IDs the toxic villains who make your blood boil. Why it works: A Dutch study recently proved that the faint smell of a cleaning product will spur people to start picking up the area around them. money and love.

• You hear from your girls that she's invited them to dinners and parties — and hasn't included you. and she's still there three months later. you're not getting fired. How to spot: • You only see him after dark. • You tell her she can crash on your couch for a week between apartments. • You suddenly notice a ton of your friends on her Facebook page. The Clingy Coworker Her constant need for help and reassurance tests your patience. The Drama Queen Empathizing with her takes up nearly all of your time and energy. "No. How to spot: • When she invites you over for dinner." and "No. How to spot: • She only wants to go out with you if you're getting an amazing group together. • You don't know what his voice sounds like on the phone. How to spot: • She appears to only be able to speak in interrogative sentences." • When she can't manage to complete a project. • At bars. you somehow wind up bringing the main dish. she often claims to have forgotten her ATM card at home. again?" • You constantly have to tell her. salad. and wine. the boss doesn't hate you. such as. "How do I do that?" and "Where is the copier. The Flaky Friend with Benefits He's lurking in your life — soaking up your love and affection — but refuses to commit. • The only meal you've ever shared is late-night pizza. How to spot: . it magically lands on your desk.She's a new acquaintance who hijacks your social life by befriending all of your pals. The Mooch This friend drains your bank account by taking advantage of your generosity.

and then won't so much as talk to yours. learn some quick and easy tips now. • He insists you hang out with his friends.but most of us don't have the money (or time) to commit. So instead of putting it off any longer. • He thinks foreplay is a one-way street that leads to his penis. She asks for your advice and then promptly does the exact opposite. The High-Maintenance Boyfriend This dude likes to be doted on and insists on monopolizing your attention at all times.. How to Save Your Ass with Self-Defense It's awesome if you can take a self-defense course. BY CASSANDRA KAPP . How to spot: • He doesn't know how to turn on the oven.. It doesn't feel like a normal conversation unless she breaks down in tears at least once.• • • She always writes "911" text messages to be sure you will call her immediately.

walk confidently with your shoulders back and chin up. Here. Simply say. Instead. CEO and founder of the Women's Self-Defense Institute. Get bitchy. or walk home from the bar wasted.Tamara Schlesinger Did you know that only 10 percent of self-defense is actually physical? That's what Angie Tarighi. HOW TO PREVENT AN ATTACK 1. You can’t control the predators but can control the opportunities you give them. Don’t go to the ATM by yourself at 2 a. Be a hard target... If a stranger says he needs a hand — but you get a creepy vibe from him — you don't have to be nice. Hunching over. Make eye contact. or being distracted by your iPod or text messages make you an easy target for a bad guy. but I really can't stop to help right now." and keep moving. . 4. chatting on your cell. Don't get sloppy during after-hours. 3.m. told us. Attackers tend to look for women who appear insecure or unsuspecting. "Sorry. Be discreet online..and then some sharp ideas for how to react if things really do get physical. You want to send the signal that you’re a secure chick who could kick anyone’s ass. 2. leave the windows to your house open at night. The rest of your defense is just being aware of your surroundings and taking preventive measures. how to fight an attacker before he strikes.

You should hit the groin last. Cosmo explains why you need to make a danger-thwarting pact with your posse. Use what's in your hands. throw your purse as far as you can. Make sure to bend your knees. If this is the case. and then run in the opposite direction. or even hairspray. 6. Step into the attacker and forcefully bang your palm at the top of your attacker's nose. as your attacker expects you’ll go there first. cell phone. . stairwells. 10.Avoid having your contact information on your Facebook page. scratch his face or jab at his eyes with the keys. and there aren't other people around. WHAT TO DO IF IT GETS PHYSICAL 7. and alleys. bushes. Try having a different profile account for your close friends than you do for your acquaintances. go for his vulnerable points like eyes. just below his eyes. 9. and actually know all the friends you approve. Throw your elbow. Let them have it. pen. Whether it's an umbrella. anything can be a weapon. Parking lots are popular places for attacks because you’re distracted. Often. When fighting off an attacker. twist your hips. Other places attackers hide: between cars (even on streets). an attacker or predator just wants your money. your hands are often full. 8. The Buddy System That Can Save Your Life The saying "There is safety in numbers" has never been more true. Your elbow is way more effective than your fists. 5. throat. and put your whole body into it as you swing your hooked elbow across his jaw. and knees. Use your palm. Get your hands in the high-five position with the palm pushed forward and your fingers back. Aim for weak points. stomp on the top of his foot. Be on the lookout. Keys can especially do a lot of damage: If an attacker comes at you. If he attacks you from behind. A great skill to know is the palm heel strike.

Nobody’s going to get all finger-waggy on you. it’s just as likely to be the guy sitting on the next bar stool as it is to be the unknown perv lurking in a dark alley. “The person at greatest risk to become a victim is someone who is alone late at night and is also under the influence of drugs or alcohol. whether wild animals or chicks out for a good time on Saturday night. an associate professor of psychology at the University of Massachusetts at Boston. As scary as that notion is. Being out there alone compounds the dangers that already exist on the party circuit. of course. so you like to party. Not only does booze cloud your judgment. it’s not uncommon to hear about young females who go out to party one night and don't come back. As far as who might be the attacker. PhD. But when it comes to drinking. director of sexual-assault services and crime-victim assistance at Rutgers University.” says Karen J. .Wadley These days. “It’s about showing that you value your friends and refuse to stand by and watch something bad happen to them. coauthor of Forsaken Females: The Global Brutalization of Women.” says Cornell University professor Andrea Parrot. And the most vulnerable prey. is the creature who has wandered away from the pack. it hints at a strategy that could save your life. Call it the buddy system: a code of conduct that you and your friends should adopt to look out for one another. And then. “A predator is looking for the most vulnerable prey.” says Ruth Anne Koenick. there are the date-rape drugs.” explains David Lisak.. Vowing to follow them might just save a friend’s life. there are some sobering statistics to be aware of. it can blind you to the subtle cues that the dazzling guy you’re talking to is trying to manipulate you. PhD.. PhD. Terry.or your own. and at least three quarters of women victims had been drinking. an associate professor at John Jay College of Criminal Justice and the author of Sexual Offenses and Offenders. These stories share a key element: All of these women had started their evenings with friends and at some point went off on their own. “The percentage of male sexual offenders under the influence of alcohol at the time of the assault is in the high 90s. RULE 1: Designate a Sober Chauffeur — Even if You’re on Foot Okay. Read on for Cosmo’s five buddy-system rules.

“Resort to guilt-tripping her” by pointing out that she’s leaving you in the lurch.. a nonprofit organization that helps survivors of violent crime. and before it became clear that tonight was gonna be the night. she will forgive you in the morning. founder of Prepare/ IMPACT Personal Safety in New York City. she sneers. chances are. Try a compromise: You and Gym Guy can see your buddy to her door (or her car or a cab) as promised and then continue on with your.” Parrot says. the bartender just flashed the lights for last call.. “Or explain to the people she wants to go off partying with that she promised to go home with you. almost 5 percent of sexual-assault victims were given a date-rape drug. workout. “Who are you? My mother?” Don’t let her quip throw you off course. . You may feel pretty sure about this guy — you know him fairly well. or keeping an eye on your drinks. Don’t ask your pal if it’s okay if you leave without her (“I’m fine.” your nice friend will say.” says Koenick. RULE 2: Don’t Get Distracted by a Hot Dude The rules that you and your best friend made seemed so sensible five hours ago — before you ran into that guy from your gym you’ve been flirting with across treadmills for months. “If you abandon your friend. “If you know your friend is no lightweight but she’s falling-down drunk after one drink. aka.” Even if she gets pissed off. When you gently remind her of the rules.. advises Donna Chaiet. a mutual gym buddy has vetted him. that’s a pretty clear sign. advises Helga West. dizziness. and your rules allow for the occasional hookup — but that doesn’t mean you’re free to go. roofies. not wanting to be a buzz kill). So when you go out at night. president and CEO of Witness Justice. ensuring that no one stumbles out of the club with a relative stranger. try one of Cosmo's irresistible lure-him-in tricks. such as a dizziness and amnesia-inducing substance called rohypnol. and loss of memory. you’re saying that you value your fun over her safety. and one of your friends is about to jump into a car with a guy she met 10 minutes ago. um. RULE 3: Be a Bitch The following scenario is bound to crop up at some point: It’s 2 a.m.According to one recent study. someone needs to be designated the responsible person (you can rotate taking on this duty) who will stay sober and look out for everyone — be it by stopping a pal from stripping on the bar. 30 Sexy Conversation Starters If you still have bruises from kicking yourself the last time you didn't make a move on a lusty lad. Other clues include drowsiness. She also can be on the alert for signs that one of you has been drugged.

. a prime place to meet a cultured cutie. Pretty sweet deal. tell a sharp shooter that you and your pal have wagered a beer on who will win. no guy will have either. look defeated. When you both hit the floor.  Ask the guy near the jukebox if he has four quarters for your dollar." Ask a gorgeous globe-trotter for suggestions about where the hottest vacation locales are. The beach is bustling.  "Lose" one of your earrings. a cute moniker like Sweet Devil or Foxy Mama. if you're more daring. especially near that dude you'd like to date. When a circle of intrigued sporty studs forms around you and your bunnymates.  While he's waiting for his turn during a pool game. Would you mind if I climbed on your board for a second so I can get a better view of the beach?"  When the gorgeous guy on the towel near you is smoothing on sunscreen.  Go to a sports bar wearing the cap of your favorite baseball. Lift your hair and show him the other earring so he can help you in your search. saunter over to him and offer a tantalizing trade.. "I'll give you half of this watermelon for a couple of sodas.. with bronzed boys everywhere.  Hang out in the travel section.  Paddle up to a sexy surfer and say.. and ask him for a heavenly hand. then smile when you're just inches away from each other's lips. it's that time of year when the livin' is easy. planning an "upcoming trip. There is nothing as hair-pullingly frustrating as being surrounded by a slew of delectable men and not being armed with a great strategy to break the ice and win a stud's attention — not to mention his heart. huh?"  Ask a cute beachcomber to take a picture of you "to send to a friend. When he says he doesn't know.  Get the gals together and start a rowdy game of Sandbunny. Cosmo knows that the biggest hurdle in hooking a new guy is choosing the perfect words or executing an eye-catching stunt that will launch you into a full-on flirtation. Rub it on your shoulders.  Ask the adorable guy in the fiction section if he can help you remember that best-seller by Tom What's-his-name. then sweetly inquire if he'll be your deejay and help you pick out a few songs. and the bar is swarming with single studs.Yes. Guys who are also fans will want to bond.) It's Saturday night. basketball. You're at a bookstore. ask if he wouldn't mind giving you a dab. but as you know. Never heard of it? That's the point. then strain to reach the middle of your back. Make up any rules you want — as long as they have you running around a lot and cheering loudly. picking up a guy ain't always a breeze.  Don a necklace or T-shirt with your name on it or.. Say. Start eyeing the ground.. . Use it anytime you see a man you simply must meet. "I drifted away from where my girlfriends are sitting. So we devised a handy chat-him-up crib sheet filled with sizzling. challenge them to a game." Ask him if he'll pose in the shot and pretend to be your boyfriend. lock eyes with him.  If you spy a cutie with a cooler of drinks. and he'd better not let you down. (Just kidding. Don't be surprised if a friendly fella starts chatting you up to see if you really live up to your title. while rivals will pick a flirty fight. ask him to recommend a high-suspense book — you love a little mystery. or football team. surprising icebreakers that will make babes eager to banter with you.

a man has you mesmerized. ask if he'll watch them so they don't get reshelved while you make a quick phone call. he'll be so intrigued. loudly announce to a pal that you're launching a thrill campaign to add excitement to your life — and you're now officially up for almost anything.  If he works there. Minutes later.. Have everyone at the party sign it — it's an easy ticket to talk to your target. "Ooh.  After breaking a sweat.  You want to try the leg-press machine.  When he comes into the kitchen for another beer." In the coffee shop. invite him to catch a 7:30 show with you. but the last user left heavy weights on it.  Situate yourself near the hottie in your yoga class. you scope out a hunky java junkie. ask if there's any whipped cream on your lip. enlist his help in opening a jar of olives or a bottle of wine. Just make sure to tuck in your shirt (or forget to). Didn't we meet at Lisa's coed naked lawn-bowling party?" It doesn't matter that he won't even know who Lisa is. state-of-the-art athletic shoes and ask him where he bought them. Ask a buff boy to help you remove them.  Say. ever-so-politely ask if he can show you the best move to get six-pack abs... I can't catch my breath — I just don't know if it's the workout or the company. a Thai cookbook). . "I'd love to take a closer look at the merchandise. sit down next to him.  If he has the latest laptop (or Palm or cell phone). Take a long time licking it off.  In front of the guy who's caught your eye. ask him to be your partner.  Ask to borrow the movie section of his newspaper to see what's playing that night and casually inquire if he's seen any good flicks lately. Lock eyes with him and let him know you're not a psycho — this book is just so funny! Lean in to show him a hilarious line. then ask him if he'd like you to read his."  After taking a big sip of your mocha so your smackers get doused with whipped cream. add in the line. Glance at him and ask.. and start laughing seductively.  Lay your mat near a dude doing crunches. "Any suggestions?" You're getting hot at the gym..  Compliment a stylish stud on his awesome. and when he takes a sit-up break.  Pick out a humor book. Sit down at a table near him with a stack of intriguing books (a massage manual. and it's not from working out.  Bring a hilarious card for the host of the soiree. he won't be able to resist asking what exactly happens at a naked lawn-bowling party. ask him how he likes it and if you could take a look since you're thinking of buying one. a guide to mountain climbing. At a party.  Practice some psychic savvy — read a few of your pals' palms. special-order an out-of-stock book and ask him to call you — any time at all — when it comes in. type in your name and phone number. If you're feeling bold. "You look so familiar. turn to a mouthwatering man and exclaim. If possible. If he gets really animated during your cinema chat.. When the instructor asks everyone to pair up for a headstand drill.

 While standing by him in line for coffee. "Catch me here at this time tomorrow and I'll tell you all about it. “No. "What do you think I should get?" He's sure to offer advice." Top 10 Signs Your Internship Boss Might Go Letterman on You Some colleges are keeping a closer eye on their interns after a certain talk-show host admitted to giving some of his temporary employees..." When he smiles and asks. ahem. 9. debate out loud which brew to order. he says. special treatment. If you’re an intern. Your internship application asks for your past job experience — and your measurements. BY ROBIN HILMANTEL Asha Fuller 10. ." Then gently tap his shoulder and ask. "Do I want a skim latte with a shot of hazelnut? Is the caramel cappuccino good? Maybe I should try that.  As you're walking by a hot joe-sipping stud.. When he asks to see your body of work and you hand him your portfolio. watch out for these clues that your boss might be just a little too into The Late Show. "You know what they say about men who drink coffee. not that one.” 8. seductively utter. He keeps talking about what the meaning of the word is is. "What?" Tell him.

6. he insists you call him Dick — even though his name is George.. shoes one day. he says. Got a new showerhead — the detachable kind. When you call him Mr. .more than 20 times. He tells you he wants to introduce you to a “special member” (air quotes) of the staff..in a thong.7. 4. “What happens at happy hour stays at happy hour”. “I bet you’d like to know how you could get into my pants. (b) in a Jacuzzi. your boss says. ..And the number-one sign your internship boss might go Letterman on you: “This job blows” doubles as both a complaint and your job description. “It’s cold outside.save energy for L8R. your desk has been moved to a new location — in his so-called Inner Office. I was a BAD GIRL and spent my lunch hour shopping. Making small talk about the weather. 3. (c) both Was in such a rush! 4got 2 wear a bra. Smith on the first day.” 2... 5. er. During your “career advice” meeting.. When you grab drinks with the staff after work one day. Sexy Texts to Entice Him Want to turn him on in 10 words or less? These naughty e-notes will do it. isn’t it?” and stares at your breasts — but it’s a summer internship. The pressure's awesome. Ur picturing me (a) naked. There's a VIP-only party @ [fill in your address here] 2nite.. TDTM (translation: text dirty to me) Don't do much @ the gym. Ur ass looks gr8 in those jeans. Can I bring anything 4 our d8? Wine? Chocolate sauce? I'm in dressing room @ the mall. You can spank me later. As a result of a switch-up in the office floor plans. he says..

My roommate is out of town. but what you may not realize is that it's a biological survival tool. Let's throw a party tonight — for two. can she? No movies out I want to see. U bring the pole.. Federizo You've heard of intuition. A girl can't have too many lacy panties. You Should Trust Your Gut You have a natural sixth sense that can help you make better decisions. faster choices.. . PhD. Still fits. HOT kiss this a. Other ideas for what we can do in the dark? Yes. Hope you can finish what you started. Here's the thing: Intuition can guide us to make smarter. Found my old cheerleading uniform. suss out a person.. Noel J. Wink. Had a stressful day. And while animals often heed this sixth sense. I NEED you to help me unwind. BY MOLLY TRIFFIN Her subconscious just gave this guy the thumbs-up. Splurged at Victoria's Secret. humans tend to let "rational" thinking override it. We break down how these feelings operate and offer tips for harnessing their power.I'll pole dance 4 you. even save your life.. author of Gut Feelings. says Gert Gigerenzer.m. wink.

Having trouble tuning in to your gut? Jump-start it by making a logical decision. "It calmly advises you what to do." notes Gigerenzer. so I guess I'll do the pants"). author of Positive Energy — think a knot in your stomach or feeling the hair on the back of your neck stand on end. take stock of how you feel about that conclusion. PhD. "Your brain has a database of knowledge that your subconscious sifts through." So give it a workout by following your instinct with inconsequential choices. but some social-networking blunders can affect your rep. Pick the one who makes more sense (has a better job.). Say you're dating two guys. Assuming both look great on." notes Dr." notes Gigerenzer. Ways to Spot a Gut Signal An unconscious nudge often manifests physically. such as whether to wear jeans or black pants. your job — even your safety." Read This Before You Go on Facebook Again Having 764 friends is fun. But this exercise gets you in the habit of relying on gut reactions instead of analyzing ("I wore jeans the other day.g. These messages are sparked by perceptual cues (e. Your unconscious picks up on clues below the surface of rational awareness and communicates the info to you via intuitive feelings. author of Intuition.What Intuition Is "Gut instincts are mental shortcuts used to make a snap judgment based on experience and environment. "In unfamiliar territory. Just remember that your intuition's power depends on the breadth of your experience." says Gigerenzer. you know the other guy is right. it doesn't matter which you go for. "It gets stronger with use. etc. a less practiced chef should probably stick to the instructions. but before doing anything. It's like a little covert operation in your head. So if you get bad vibes from a coworker. MD. Eventually. Orloff. people can tell when a smile is fake yet can't explain why) or by past situations. . Example: While someone who cooks regularly can wing a recipe with terrific results. listening to your inner voice will become second nature and help you out with important decisions. give practical thinking added weight. If your heart sinks." How to Intuit "Intuition is like a muscle." says David Myers. on a deeper level you might be noticing patterns between her and someone else who mistreated you.. "The unconscious and conscious minds were designed to work in tandem. But how can you tell if the jittery anxiety you have before boarding a plane is a subconscious SOS or just nerves? "A gut instinct isn't accompanied by fear. says Judith Orloff.

address.You Friend Anyone You wouldn’t let strangers into your house and give them access to your personal things. an Internet privacy and security lawyer. a credit-card account can be created in your name. “With these details. “He can copy your info onto his own Website or distribute it via e-mail. If you do. The upside to restricting your page: You’ll come off as mysterious. photos can still be tagged and copied onto another site. choose something less obvious. lets anyone with access to your page know where to find you. You Pick an Easy-to-Guess Password Don’t use your middle name.” says Aftab.” says Aftab. you’re essentially telling everyone your location and when you won’t be home — setting yourself up to have someone come by your social event unexpectedly or burglarize your apartment. Yet that’s kind of what you’re doing if you fully friend them on Facebook — or leave your MySpace page public — and let them see photos. “If your name is attached.” You Update Your Status and Say Where You Are The status update is a fun Facebook feature.. And be wary of fully friending a person you only kinda-sorta know. Instead. says Aftab. anyone who Googles you will see them. says social-media expert Ryan Hupfer.. And though letting your friends know you’re going to a specific club for the night or leaving for vacay tomorrow seems innocuous. sending messages that are hurtful to others and detrimental to your rep.” says Aftab. Another reason to never post your name. California. and don’t share it. founder of Ypulse. “Even when you use the privacy controls. . or another common password to log in to your page.or don’t post them at all. day-to-day details. like a guy you chat with at work. a generation-Y marketing Website. any random acquaintance who knows or can guess what these are could log in and pretend to be you.” says Anastasia Goodstein. don’t friend them at all.” says Parry Aftab. your pet’s name. You Make Identifying Details Public Posting a cute photo of yourself in front of your house. So restrict access to any suggestive photos. “If you don’t know someone in real life. and the other names on your friends list. with the street number in view. You Post Pictures of Yourself Partying Hard “Almost all big employers now look up young applicants on Facebook or MySpace to see if anything surfaces that may indicate the person isn’t a good hire. with PhotoCrank in Palo Alto. or date of birth is to avoid identity theft.

If he denies it and you know it’s true. What Would KCav Do?: She says that lying is her biggest pet peeve and when she finds out someone is being untruthful about one thing. He’s probably hiding other things too. but if they’re willing to take responsibility and change. Hint: it has to do with Stephanie and the drug rumors. you have to admit that one of the reasons Kristin Cavallari is so much fun to watch is that she can be a bit of a bitch. “Just say.. because people eff up. if he fesses up and apologizes. What Would KCav Do?: She recommends keeping a cool head until you have the full story. Jayde. I’d have to move on. she says. the girl doesn’t let anyone walk all over her and she always speaks her mind.Kristin Cavallari’s Bitch Lessons She’s known for speaking her mind and putting people in their place (Lauren. “Definitely have a conversation with the guy. Oh. Unlike some of the other Hills castmembers. ‘I heard from a few different people that you’ve been saying this. “Tell him that you heard X.” she suggests.’ They don’t need to know who. What Would KCav Do?: “Go up to the person and confront them. Read on for her bitchy little secrets.. Ninety-eight percent of the time. you take it out of context. you’re just adding fuel. the list goes on. her first thought is. they might deserve a second chance. according to Kristin..). “If the girl doesn’t know he’s your boyfriend. The Dilemma: You find out the guy you’re hooking up with is secretly talking to his ex.” On the other hand. And we mean that in a good way. it’s his fault for not making .” The Dilemma: Someone is spreading a nasty rumor about you. “I don’t think you should ever read text messages or emails. So we got Kristin to spill when it pays to be a little bad. but don’t go snooping to find juice on the guy. (Kristin also spilled to us that she does just that in the first episode of the new season. and Z. Y. So we gave Kristin a few scenarios to see how she’d handle them. I actually think that by not confronting the person.. Love her or hate her.” Kristin advises against involving others.) “Go right to the source. you should go with your gut.” she says. Audrina.” The Dilemma: Some girl is talking to your boyfriend at a club.

If you’ve had a word with her and she keeps going. “You don’t need to say. meaner budget.” If the other woman does know he’s attached and your guy is clearly uncomfortable. And this is when you should say something. “This isn’t cool and we need to go. What Would KCav Do?: “Just let it go. according to Kristin. read on. he makes time. he’s just not into you. you can keep your wallet fatter for longer. since there’s probably a legit reason you’re not a fan. “tell her she’s talking to your man and that she needs to back off. Then discipline yourself to put that portion in the bank.it clear.” she explains. But thanks to such products as Tide Total Care and . of course. IRS withholdings. “When a guy wants to see you.” Kristin says it will only make you look crazy so it’s best just to get out of there— with your boyfriend. change your W4 filing—just ask your employer for a new form—so that you get as much money as possible up front. where you’ll earn interest. What Would KCav Do?: “What I love about my friends is that they’re brutally honest.” In which case she says you should just tell your guy.” And One Time NOT to Be a Bitch The Dilemma: A guy is playing hot and cold with you. Well. ‘I hate him’. but you can tell her. Many people have money withheld from their paychecks in the hopes of getting a fat refund. don’t make a scene. But it’s hard to do that when you’re oblivious to where all your cash goes. and consult this list of innocent little expenses that may be siphoning off your bottom line. stop scratching your head. We point out sneaky cash suckers and offer tips on stretching your hard-earned dollars. he’s not my favorite’. The Dilemma: You think your friend’s boyfriend is an a-hole.” she says. I’m a firm believer that if this is the case.” Little Things That Eat Up Your Paycheck If the joy of being flush with dough on payday seems more fleeting than ever. it’s smart to function on a leaner. Dry cleaning. The great news: With a few tweaks here and there. ‘You know. But doing that is like giving the government an interest-free loan. Dropping off your nice clothes at the cleaners can cost $5 or more per item…and that adds up. You don’t need us to tell you that right now. Instead.

As if trying to figure out what the hell you want to do with your life isn't hard enough. such as Netflix. But you can enjoy the fun vibe of a restaurant without racking up a big bill by eating bar food instead of pricey entrées. Not only will you meet lots of new people and get to breathe fresh air. Keep your butt in tight shape by joining a running club. will clean at least 16 garments. and can be found at your local drugstore.99.com. Check out rrca. Movie rentals. but you’ll also often pay significantly less (some are free!). Maria Bartiromo. you can get two rentals a month. Groceries. which is about what it costs you to check out just one flick at your local movie store. this is a must-read. Or opt for the $8.. Coupons aren’t just for grandmas. crappy economy). talks about her life and enviable career in her new book. Unless you’re pulling in a Jolie-Pitt–size salary. milk. so you can skip flipping through the paper and just search clipngocoupons. decided to write a book about success now: . etc. bread. you can give TLC to your finer duds while using your home washing machine and dryer. Manicures.. The Money Honey's Tips to Loving Your J-OB The co-host of CNBC's Closing Bell and award-winning journalist. Eating out. The 10 Laws of Enduring Success. it’s a good idea to sign up with an online movie-rental company.Dryel. Gym memberships. Maria Bartiromo. Which is exactly why TV anchor and financial reporter. It’s best to use them for staples you always need: eggs. Belonging to a decent gym costs at least $50 a month— whether or not you use it. our gen has some seriously limited career options (thank you. For anyone who's a little freaked about her future. That’s $720 a year! Stretch your nail maintenance to every two to three weeks by picking only light-colored polishes—when they chip.org for one in your area. they can save you beaucoup bucks too. Catching up with friends over dinner is something no girl should have to give up. it’s not as noticeable. For $4. They both cost under $15.99 plan and get unlimited rentals. They’ve even gone high tech. Let’s do some grooming math: Getting a mani once a week can add up to $60 a month.

Maria." I have to laugh — no sympathy there! Her quip also reminds me how lucky I am. 1. "Kitty. and hate it when I can't do something perfectly." I confided. when Kitty Pilgrim (an anchor for CNN) walked in. gain a single pound. and I've never regretted my decision. Cut Yourself Some Slack I'm an overachiever. I just laughed it off. and says. not let others control it. Work Your Arse Off If you were to ask my parents what they thought the secret to success was.Because during a rough patch like this. We live in a time of enormous change. Then.. I was really upset. my mom also worked at the restaurant and raised a family. What are you good at? How can you align your dreams with the areas in the economy that are actually producing jobs? It's critical to figure out what kind of training you may need to best position yourself for this economy. but I think I will hate my new job. My dad ran his own restaurant. have a hair out of place. Read on for a few that have served Maria well on her own kick-ass career path. but I didn't think the new position was right for me. I'm proud to get promoted. or make an incorrect analysis." instead of worrying that a moniker like that would make me look ridiculous. Now more than ever. I worried a lot about the impression I gave. you're not chopping trees.. In the early years of being on air. Be Open to Change Success is fleeting. 3." But I know that's not true. she believes that there are certain rules you must follow in order to get ahead. . It never would have occurred to them to gripe about how hard they worked. "I don't know what to do. my mother rolls her eyes. "Come on. and to control my destiny. You're set. and I loved it. 4. and to really be successful. I ended up turning down the promotion. I thought that I couldn't afford to make any mistakes. and in addition to her full-time job. It was a breakthrough for me — realizing that I could be human and relax about it. a few years later. 2. But I know that I got to be where I am today thanks to the work ethic that I learned from my parents. you have to look within and assess your skill sets. I had a big crisis: I was told that I was getting a promotion. People have said to me. crying my eyes out in the ladies room. I decided I didn't need to take myself so seriously." Kitty gave me great advice: She told me to think about where I wanted to be in five years. If I complain that my job is stressful. so adapting will be key to success during this tumultuous time. "You made it.. they would tell you that it's all about hard work. Own Your Destiny I started my career at CNN as an editor and producer for the business news segments. But when a reporter from the New York Post gave me the nickname "Money Honey. The changes won't wait for you. you have to constantly adapt.

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