Thirty Days to Change Your Life

Our life is what our thoughts make it. Life is neither good or evil, but only a place for good and evil. Marcus Aurelius

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Thirty Days to Change Your Life
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Don’t be tempted to go onto the next chapter. Only you can do it. but pretty soon everything’s different.com . the less perfect we are. you may wish that you had started today. in a surprisingly short time.’ So why not start today? It’s the only day you have. the more exciting and interesting the journey. How? There is only one way to change your life. and the more we will be glad when we see how much we have achieved. In fact.’ Many drips fill a bucket. so why not take control of it and proactively shape ourselves? We are always moving – either in the direction of growth or the direction of decay. it can give you ideas and support you. You might like to make a short summary of each chapter as you go.Thirty Days to Change Your Life How to Use this Book Why? The essence of life is change. but I believe that we should embrace it. it can send you off down new avenues. You can read the whole book from cover to cover. It is going to happen to us in one form or another. but the first five days form a sequence so I suggest you read these first. A book can help you. You can read the chapters in any order. So why not decide to grow and become better than we are? I do not suggest that we berate ourselves for not being perfect – a healthy self esteem is essential for proper growth. 4 effortlessabundance. It simply said. But it can only help if you are ready and willing to change. just as you would a novel. It seems surprising that we tend to resist change. Finally. ‘In a year from now. Change is the only constant. and reading a book (however good it is!) will not do it. you will have changed a great deal. As Charlie Brown so wisely said. It seemed to capture the essence of what self improvement is all about. I came across a notice recently. This book contains thirty short chapters. Read slowly and let the message sink in. the better. but this isn’t the best way to approach it. The more interactive you can make the experience of reading. ‘Nothing seems to change much from day to day. The best thing is to read one chapter per day for a month. Just a little each day and. I have always subscribed to the ‘dripping tap’ approach to selfimprovement.

England. and says to himself. how free. You are more wonderful than anything in the universe. to flap its wings and to strut around the farmyard. here it is (paraphrased by me). You don’t need to live a cowering. she rears the eaglet as if it were one of her own chicks. how beautiful to be like that and have such a life. It goes something like this: There’s a beggar sitting on an old wooden box. Or of reading. ‘I wish I were an eagle – how majestic.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day One: Who are you? There is a story I never tire of telling. The little eagle looks up and sees this. an eagle flies by overhead. Just as a drop of water contains all the properties of the ocean.’ and the above stories are supposed to shock you into realizing that you are not what people have brainwashed you into believing you are. The stranger tells the old man that his wooden box is full of money and treasure. The old man laughs and soon forgets what the stranger told him.’ The eagle lived like a chicken and died like a chicken. spiritually whole and abundant by nature.com 5 . The first page tells the story. scrimping and scratching around for a pittance. because that’s hat he thought he was. It was many years ago and I was browsing through the shelves when I came across Awareness by Anthony de Mello. The book struck a chord in me and I loved what I was reading so much that I bought it there and then and read it from cover to cover sitting in the city center. An eagle lays an egg but somehow the egg finds its way into a chicken coup. One day someone walks past and tells the old beggar that he has nothing to give except a piece of information. I first found it quite by accident in a bookshop in Birmingham. effortlessabundance. doing a job you hate. A chicken incubates the egg with all her others and when it hatches. so you contain all the spiritual properties of the universe. It learns to peck the dust for food. servile life. One day. Eckhart Tolle tells a similar story in The Power of Now. for that matter. and he’s been sitting there for years – he sits on it on the street and begs for money. cow-towing to a boss you dislike. He dies without ever opening the box. The American write Henry David Thoreau said ‘most men live lives of quiet desperation. of God.

Thirty Days to Change Your Life Before you realize this.com . and the edifice will fall apart when the wind blows or when the tide comes in. you will be building a house on the sand. say affirmations. all the programs. a mansion! You can have it all. You can have a wonderful house. but without a clear and basic understanding that you are the eagle. These are not bad things. You can try all the techniques. But your foundation needs to be solid. go to seminars and buy self-help books. that you have the treasure inside you. Abraham Lincoln said ‘If I had six hours to chop down a tree. you cannot amount to anything. I'd spend the first four hours sharpening the axe. meditate and visualize. set goals.’ so why not spend some time getting to know who you really are? 6 effortlessabundance.

In a commencement speech delivered in 2005. Far from it – when we truly add value to the lives of others.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day Two: Why are you here? Henry David Thorea said that ‘most men lead lives of quiet desperation. I know several people who have done just this. Albert Einstein said that ‘only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. keep looking. In return. of course. our enthusiasm. we are able to orchestrate things so that we experience greater meaning. and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. the fungi cannot synthesize the precursors of respiration.com 7 .’ and Miguel Torga. we cannot help but receive value ourselves.’ Once we have seen that we can change our own life and construct our own experience. a big car. the tree gets to use the fungi’s vast subterranean network. If you haven’t found it yet. Examples of this kind of synergy abound in nature. The term ‘service’ suggests that we have to give up our jobs and money to go help the poor and destitute. the great Portuguese writer. But a life of adding value does not mean abandoning your own needs and desires. But the question remains. property.our richness. gets this all back – and more – when the tree dies. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do.or our cowardice. since this describes what I mean more accurately. Steve Jobs said that ‘your work is going to fill a large part of your life. The soil. I prefer to use the term adding value.’ and I believe that a life of service to others is what truly brings meaning. It is not the same as sacrifice. Having no chloroplasts of their own. But what gives meaning to our lives? Is it money. said that ‘life has the meaning we give it -. a successful career.’ effortlessabundance. Adding value is the only real way to live a meaningful life. how can we add value? I believe the answer to this is surprisingly simple. an attractive spouse or partner? I’m sure most people would agree that these things in themselves do not add lasting and profound meaning to us. and they have certainly found happiness and peace in their choice of lifestyle. extending its own reach and sucking in more nutrients from the soil. For example. our pride -. and so they piggyback on the trees’ ability to do this. tree roots are often surrounded by fungal growths that take nutrients from the trees.

All but one came from group B. The careers of 1. Mark Albion cites a study carried out by Srully Blotnick. In Making a Life. 8 effortlessabundance. The same can be said for many famous. successful and wealthy people.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Through Apple. At the end of the study. and group B said they would follow their interests first. Do you know what you love? There is little more important in life than finding out. Making a Living. He did it by following his heart and has been richly rewarded for it. Perhaps the first step is the hardest.500 business school graduates were tracked from 1969 to 1980 and were split into two groups: group A said they wanted to make money first so they could do what they really wanted later. Add vale. Find what you love. Do it. The formula is simple. regardless of financial considerations. Steve Jobs has undoubtedly added immense value to the world. there were 101 millionaires.com . some food for thought. Finally. Be a success.

often rehearsing the scripts they developed as children. when we start to get angry because we are stuck in a traffic jam. But the truth is that we are free – we are not robots.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day Three: You are pulling the strings Austrian psychiatrist and survivor of the holocaust Victor Frankl tells us in Man’s Search for Meaning that between stimulus and response there is a gap. Many – perhaps most – people go through life on autopilot. but the gap is always there. many of these scripts are maladaptive and only serve to impoverish our experience and damage us and those we love. reacting in the same habituated ways they have learned over the course of their life. In The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. effortlessabundance. when we keep on smoking despite knowing how bad it is. we are ignoring the gap and abdicating our freedom. we are free to choose our responses to the things that come our way. Of course. the power of our habits is strong and keeps pulling us back. and over time we can expand the gap and become more free. We are pulling our own strings and when the stimulus comes we can take control. we are not like dogs salivating when a bell rings. Steven Covey calls this being proactive. Unlike Pavlov’s dogs. In adult life.com 9 . but we need to realize this before can move on. change our response and hence change our life. we have always been in control. and in that gap lies the whole of our experience. When we react defensively to a criticism. In truth. the first step towards a life of meaning. even after a long lifetime of unconscious behavior.

and Covey tells us that ‘paying attention to the development of self in the greater perspective of improving one’s ability to serve. Successful people are conscious of this process and use it more deliberately. We need the eggs (what we create) but we also need to keep the engine of creation going. and it is this – life is all about flow. The farmer focused too much on the eggs and. to contribute in meaningful ways’ will enable us to create in a sustainable way. like a pool with no outlet stagnates and dies. friends and society at large.com . but most of us simply create our experience by default through reactive and habitual thought patterns that we have picked up from parents. to produce. we will continue to drift along. in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Covey. We need to give and we need to receive. in his greed. most people do this without any conscious awareness of the process. killed the goose. and once in the world. vital aspect to our ability to orchestrate our own experience. It is happening all the time. and we do this by honoring the fact that all life is about giving and receiving. but there is another. Although this idea that ‘thoughts become things’ (to use Earl Nightingale’s expression) has been widely disseminated by self-development books and movies such as ‘The Secret’ in recent months and years. I am reminded here of the story of the goose who laid the golden eggs. and that we must work with the flow of life – brings us to the point where we must think deeply about what we want and where we are going in life. Bringing these two basic truths together – that we create twice. tells us that ‘all things are created twice. To ignore this give and take is to cause stagnation and decay. 10 effortlessabundance.’ once in the mind. If we fail to engage at this point.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day four: Everything is created in the mind first Steven R. either experiencing by default (as most people do) or creating our life in a way which ultimately leads to stagnation and decay.

From putting his violin in place on his shoulder to the most trifling technical detail. never seeming to realize that they have a choice. decade after decade. You can be anything. It amazes me that people go through life running the same script for year after year. we must realize that we are in the driving seat. Where we are now is a result of the activity of our subconscious mind. In our response lies our growth and our freedom. to perform in full self-reflection. In truth. The subconscious mind does everything. You can’t do it through effort and control and work. The Austrian psychiatrist and survivor of the holocaust Viktor Frankl wrote that between stimulus and response there is a gap. Viktor Frankl. In that space is our power to choose our response. he wanted to do everything consciously. by having him realize how much more musical his unconscious was than his conscious. Most people have given that power away. You can do anything. Unlike Pavlov’s dogs or other animals who respond only by instinct.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day five: You can only change form the inside You can have anything. But this is the reality – you have free will. we have tremendous power. But you can’t do it. habitual way over and over again. thinking mind can’t. It creates your whole world. Treatment had to give back to the patient his trust in the unconscious. and you have the power to change ‘I must’ into ‘I choose. Viktor Frankl First. They go straight from stimulus to response without a thought.’ effortlessabundance. When we realize that this gap exists and that we can use it. you are responsible for how you react. thinking mind on one side and the vast universal intelligence which pervades the universe on the other. the Austrian psychiatrist and holocaust survivor.com 11 . we humans have the power of choice. Through its interaction with the conscious. recounts an interesting story. Know who is in control Between stimulus and response there is a space. At least your conscious. it orchestrates our experience of life. This led to a complete artistic breakdown…. and inside that gap lies all of our experience. reacting in the old. We know a case in which a violinist always tried to play as consciously as possible.

you’re not thinking anything in particular. It makes sense that changing what we believe will alter the way we behave. We are free to control our thoughts and change our own perception of things. being poor etc.com . Poor people often tend to think about lack. Rich people tend naturally to think about money and abundance and so they tend to attract more money by naturally acting in accordance with their beliefs. But suddenly you will remember what happened to you yesterday or last week (good or bad) and your internal talk will begin. Viktor Frankl The most important area in which we operate our freedom is our own mind. of course. Changing our beliefs is not instantaneous. We see ourselves in certain scenarios in our mind’s eye. But if you can become aware that this is happening. 12 effortlessabundance. confidence and control. You can often catch the moment shortly after you wake up when the script kicks in – for a short while after you wake up. who believe that thoughts happen to them. how you want to feel and what sort of person you want to be. The inside-out We create our own reality in two ways. you can start to replace to old script with a self-talk based on conscious choice. happiness. if you are conscious. This is a revelation to many people.Thirty Days to Change Your Life It all starts in the mind Everything can be taken from a man or a woman but one thing: the last of human freedoms to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances. If you’re not very conscious about it. your mind is blank. you generate your own thoughts all day long and you can be the master of them. depends on what we believe.) with new ones about abundance. In reality. One is our self-talk. but our beliefs do change throughout our lives and we can be active in controlling this process. this script will just run in the background all day and you will react to situations in your usual conditioned manner. Start visualizing what you want to achieve. The way we act. to choose one’s own way. The other is our visualization. We talk to ourselves all day long. Again. you can replace the default visualizations (of being a victim. and so they attract this experience.

self-talking. visualizing mind and does not recognize any difference between a real experience and an imaginary one. Our subconscious mind ‘believes’ what it is told by the thinking. A change in our mind will work its way out. and what we see in our mind’s eye.Thirty Days to Change Your Life The subconscious ensures that our images are translated into reality. effortlessabundance. So we need to be careful what we think about and talk to ourselves about.com 13 . we see the world as we are. These words and images will be turned into reality as sure as day follows night. In the end.

’ So sure enough. Be comfortable carrying money around. I have noticed that the rich spend a lot of time talking about money. but it’s also important not to scrimp and save. Maybe you say to yourself ‘I can’t carry money around or else I’ll spend it!’ Well. Think more about money. and so long as you are sensible. buy a designer suit or bag. this will play out in your life. The rich have sown an abundance mentality. the boss at work or a guy who lives down the road. If you have a poverty mentality. It does not mean living above your means and getting into debt. this is what we will experience. but it is surprising how many people choose the former. as soon as you get some money you will spend it. These things will send out signals to your subconscious mind (and 14 effortlessabundance. and it will bring forth whatever you sow in it. People who think like this cannot trust themselves with cash. in fact. Having an abundance mentality means spending money and enjoying it. it will start to appear in our lives. so you should try to associate yourself with successful and wealthy people. you’re never going to be rich. Our experience of the world starts in our mind. you can go out and treat yourself. is to be around them. The message an empty wallet sends to your subconscious is ‘got no money. and here are ten ways you can start to tend your own garden of riches. except that they are talking about the lack of it. Get used to spending money and buying nice things. if you can’t trust yourself with cash on the hip. get your hair done at an expensive salon.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day six: Making money Being rich is a state of mind. if you are jealous about the success and wealth of others. So do the poor. Your mind is like a garden which contains rich.com . You need to admire these kind of people and ask yourself ‘what can I learn from them?’ The best way to learn from the wealthy. of course. You can sow a mentality of lack and poverty or a mentality of abundance. fertile soil. but if we concentrate on wealth. you are never going to attract it into your own life. What do youy find when you open your wallet? I used to withdraw money from the ATM only when I needed it and I was habitually running short of money. Go to a nice restaurant. If we focus on lack and poverty. Admire people who have money and associate with the wealthy. Your money is there to be enjoyed. Which one would you prefer? The answer is obvious. The harvest will be a life of poverty and struggle or one of ease and comfort. and what we focus on will expand and push its way out into the physical world. How do you feel when you see someone who you know is rich? Whether it be a movie star.

the homeless. Many people think that money is tainted. what would you do with it? The rich would think about how to turn it into $1000. above all. Many people have been deeply scripted in a mentality that equates money with guilt. it will find a way of moving on anyway – an unexpected bill or other expense. Money is like a living thing – it has to move and it to grow. Both cause stagnation and an end to wealth. It cannot lie dormant. How can the rich live with themselves when there are starving people in the world? Why don’t they give their money way to help others? These are the things I used to say to myself. because so long as the poverty mentality is running. Hoarding money and spending all your money are signs of a poverty mentality. what’s the point? Feel that you deserve to be rich.com 15 . enjoy it! Otherwise. healthy or successful. And this is because poverty is a disease of the mind. there would once again be massive inequality. There’s an important difference.Thirty Days to Change Your Life other people. Hoarding money is also symptom of a poverty mentality. Get into the habit of investing. Don’t be too attached to money. But the reality is that money is not bad: it’s just money. be generous and. Don’t blame anyone or anything for your situation. the sick and the hungry. in a matter of months. Either you can move it or it will move of its own accord. Because everything in life is in flux. Put it to work in investments. And there’s no more or less reason to acquire it than there is a reason to be happy. Money is good and necessary. but giving a person with a poverty mentality a large sum of money will not make that person rich. money – as well as all other things – cannot sit still. There are other people in that same situation who are making it! effortlessabundance. Associate money with a healthy. Don’t feel guilty about it. since it can allow you to experience more of life and to help other people. They use phrases like ‘filthy rich’ and associate making money with dishonest practices and unsavory ways of living. until I realized the truth: if all the money in the world were redistributed equally. Of course we should support the needy. But growing money is at the heart of an abundance mentality. and the universe) that you have an abundance mentality and that you are comfortable with money. their subconscious autopilot will find a way of bringing them back to poverty. If you win $100 in a competition. a car or house repair that needs to be paid for – so keep your money flowing. spend some of it on nice things. balanced life. The poor would just spend it or bury it. If you try to hoard it. It has to move. Take responsibility.

’ People have come from abject poverty and made billions. But if you truly want to be rich. Henry Ford said. When you have done this. Believe that anything is possible. Many people just stay poor because it’s easier – they don’t have to face up to their part in creating their own reality. stop making excuses and take responsibility.Thirty Days to Change Your Life It is not your parent’s fault that you are poor.com . it clears the way for amazing things to happen. ‘Whether you believe you can or believe you can’t. None of these things have stopped others from getting rich. So start believing it! 16 effortlessabundance. It is not the government’s fault. Anything is possible in this world. It’s not your age or education. Others have started at the top and lost it all. you’re probably right.

positive thoughts. Where we are now is a result of what we have thought and how we have acted in the past. others’ minds are more like rocks and dust which will not support a good harvest. the rich would be rich again. and our self-image. the genie does your bidding and you are always rich. Being rich is the effect of our thoughts. not our master. We must accept this. thoughts of abundance. Some people’s minds are like rich. Many of these thoughts came from parents. teachers and other influential figures which they were exposed to when young. Many people spend their lives building a ‘money monster. We attract more of what we focus on. even what he has shall be taken away from him Jesus of Nazareth (Matthew 13:12) When I was a child. I used to look out at the world. Others. spend their life building a powerful and obedient genie. turns around and devours them. however. and the poor would be poor again. our thoughts. Most people have got this the wrong way round.com 17 . not the cause.’ made up of the negative thoughts about money and wealth. but whoever does not have. watch the news. We must realize that money doesn’t control us. eventually. fertile soil where the crop can grow strong and healthy. and those thoughts get built on and expanded until eventually they become a huge and terrifying monster which. to him more shall be given. Why? Simply put – money is a symptom or an effect. But now I have come to the conclusion that if all the money in the world were divided equally between everyone. and he will have an abundance. within a short time. Either we are responsible or we are not – which is it to be? Do you want to carry on feeling that you’re at the mercy of chance? Maybe you do – maybe you get something out of that. what we sow is what we reap. We must take responsibility for this. Our thoughts create our reality and if we sow good. and think to myself how unfair it is that some people are so rich and others so poor. But know this – if you do not accept effortlessabundance. As in all spheres of life. an unshakeable collection of positive thoughts and convictions which free you from worry and lack. The cause of money is our attitude. If we sow thoughts of poverty and lack. We create our own financial condition.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day seven: Why the rich get richer For whoever has. we will manifest that in our lives. these thoughts will yield a harvest of money and abundance. we control it – money is our servant.

Thirty Days to Change Your Life
that you are responsible for your financial condition, you will always be poor. That more gathers more is true on every plane of existence and that loss leads to greater loss is equally true. Charles E. Haanel (1866-1949) Many people have self-defeating beliefs about money (which I have written about elsewhere). We cannot be wealthy if we think of money in a negative way. Money is just a way to be free, and creating financial abundance should be top of our list of priorities. Clear out your old ideas about wealth and fill your mind with new and positive thoughts about money. Flaunting wealth is a sign of insecurity and tells of a poverty mentality, but to wish and strive for financial freedom is a good thing – as someone once said, ‘the more you know, the less you need to show.’ Know that whatever your beliefs, the world will support them – so think positive and abundant thoughts, and these will be played out in real life. One of these self-defeating beliefs is that there is a shortage of money. But in reality, there is not a limited supply of wealth and abundance – if I go out in a boat and fill a few buckets with water, does that mean there is less water for everyone else? If I pump water from the sea night and day, does that mean the ocean will run dry? Hardly! There is so much of it that it can never run out! Even the wealth of the richest person in the world is just, well, a drop in the ocean! Another reason the ocean never runs dry is that water is constantly on the move. Water evaporates, it forms clouds, the clouds release water as rain, the rain falls into streams and rivers, and the rivers flow back into the sea. Just like water, money needs to flow. If you try to hoard money, it will stagnate, like a pool with no inlet or outlet. But if you keep money circulating, it will grow, just as a pool with a constant flow of fresh water sparkles and teems with life. In fact, money flows whether we like it or not, since that is its nature. If you try to hoard it, it will find a way of moving on – a big tax bill, an unexpected expense – so keep things moving, keep your money flowing. That doesn’t mean give all your money away or keep buying and selling investments; it means don’t let your money stagnate and die – don’t kill the goose that lays the golden egg. It’s also important that you don’t try to control the process – who knows through which wonderful channels money and wealth will come to you? Your subconscious mind is wiser than you can know, and will orchestrate events in a marvelous and unexpected way to

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Thirty Days to Change Your Life
bring you what you desire. It is also important that you be ready to receive. Sometimes you don’t get what you want – you get something better. So be ready and be open to all possibilities. Making money is not hard work – it’s easy when you do it right. Like all things in life, see which way the wind is blowing and sail with the wind, not against it. Sailing against the wind is madness – it will take all your energy and you’ll stand still (at best). So sail with the wind, go with the flow of life, and you can be effortlessly abundant.

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Thirty Days to Change Your Life
Day eight: The importance of your beliefs Do not try and bend the spoon. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth… Then you'll see, that it is not the spoon that bends, it is only yourself. From The Matrix The story of the four-minute mile is one of those things that tells us about the way the world works. For years, people tried and tried to run a mile in under four minutes but just kept failing. However, as soon as Roger Banister did it in 1954, the floodgates opened and within two years, about 350 others had done the same. When people really believe that something is possible, then it is. As Henry Ford famously said, ‘Whether You Believe You Can, Or You Can't, You Are Right.’ I read recently that beliefs are neither tight nor wrong. I disagree – if you don’t think that your beliefs are right, then I can’t see how they can be called beliefs. This doesn’t mean you should arrogantly try to foist your beliefs on other people – if you’re right, then all well and good; let others find out in their own way, and by all means present and discuss your beliefs – but beliefs should be held strongly and with power. They have the ability to empower you or limit you. Examples of the empowering effect of belief are found everywhere. For example, in her book ‘Imagery for Getting Well,’ Deirdre Davis Brigham (W.W. Norton & Co. 1994) reports several instances of the mind appearing to have amazing control over the body. She cites some cases of people with multiple personality – one personality has flu symptoms or even diabetes; the other personality has no sign of illness. She also mentions Clove Backster, who found that skin from his patients actually reacted chemically when Backster simply thought of damaging the skin. Dr. Madeline Daniels has written about studies of the ‘self fulfilling prophecy’ where, for example, different teachers were told that their classes consisted of under performers or bright students and, by year end, there was a significant difference in the quality of the classes’ work. Needless to say, the students’ ability was the same in all classes. This study from researchers at Stanford University suggests that pain can be controlled by thought. There are many documented instances of individuals appearing to defy nature because of belief – people walking over hot coals, people being buried for days and coming out alive and well, people not eating for weeks or even years and appearing to be in normal health. The examples are endless.

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effortlessabundance. terrified of public speaking. many years carrying this belief. When I was a child.Thirty Days to Change Your Life I read somewhere recently that ‘a belief is nothing but the generalization of a past incident. feeling insecure and threatened. Then something happened – I was openly criticized and. And so I spent many. I had to recognize that I had been carrying this belief around with me all those years and consciously decide to change it. I started to see those around me as hostile and unwelcoming.’ This seems to ring true. generalizing this experience. I was outgoing and gregarious.com 21 .

If I see myself as unfit. as Earl Nightingale observed. But no amount of willpower can change us into something we think we are not. Since this is so. If you want to change.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day nine: The importance of self-image The image we have of ourselves is the most important thing in determining what we experience in the world. you can experience your own magnificence right now and then you can choose your life. And in a year. When you see yourself for what you truly are. so we contain all the spiritual properties of the universe. Self-acceptance is the first step and the most important part of choosing your experience and being successful. try to realize that we are spiritually whole. Rejecting yourself or a part of yourself or hating yourself for something you have done is pointless. you must start the process in your mind first. How to change Many people think that the only way to do something worthwhile is by sheer hard work. eventually. how much you earn. If you keep saying to yourself. And we can recreate ourselves from a new mental image if we choose. and everything else about you. Whoever you are now. We spend our days acting out the kind of person we think we are. When you see yourself as being fit and healthy. ten years from now. in a very real sense. Whatever we have done or failed to do does not change what we are – and what we are is perfect. then going to the gym and eating well will be natural and easy. five years. you have chosen it. from who you are. we should love ourselves with no strings attached. we have each created ourself from our own mental image. Just as a drop of water contains all the properties of the ocean. you can be the same person. and eventually.com . ‘I’m going to give up smoking. then no amount of going to the gym and trying to eat well is going to change that image and. 22 effortlessabundance. Who we are First. we become what we think about. then not smoking will be easy and natural. If you see yourself as a non-smoker.’ but your subconscious still sees you as a smoker. the things you own. and I will remain unfit. I will stop going to the gym and I will start eating the wrong kind of food again. You need to separate what you have done. or you can choose again and become someone different. of God. We experience what we are convinced is true and so.

You can never get the approval you seek from others. Don’t fear or resent others for being wealthy or successful. When you decide to change your life. Don’t worry about whether you’re perfect – you’re like a house under construction. There’s nothing wrong with this – it’s the way things are and people who criticize you are only throwing stones at themselves. support them in what they have and more abundance will come to you. The right kind of selfishness Why is it wrong to have things just because others don’t? Will it help the poor if you are poor yourself? You are naturally and effortlessly abundant. You are in control. You are powerfully orchestrating of your own experience. they don’t see themselves as being in control and they wonder what you have that they don’t. and so you must take responsibility for your life.com 23 . so just relax. Learn from them and admire them. effortlessabundance. I believe that nothing happens to us that we don’t permit at a deep. The only authority you need is within yourself. This is how you learn about yourself. Don’t be afraid to expose a weakness and make yourself vulnerable. some people will have values which conflict with yours. you will not be threatened by the beliefs of others. You are becoming more powerful. you are pulling the strings. it’s how to change and grow. and you seem to make some others shrink – they don’t understand why you are difference. and so is everyone else.Thirty Days to Change Your Life then you’re going to fail because you always live up to your subconscious’ expectations. Your growth will cause others pain. When you accept this and you take control of your life. love yourself and decide who you want to become. subconscious level. and so they may feel threatened and try to attack you or control you or turn you into something else. Isn’t this what’s behind some people’s attempts to convert you to their religion? Don’t be afraid You don’t need permission from others to change your life. this is bound to make some people unhappy. If you know that you are spiritually perfect.

24 effortlessabundance. prosperous and successful life. choose what you want to become. choose the abundant.Thirty Days to Change Your Life What is happening within us is in deep alignment with our outside experiences. And the best part of all – it will happen effortlessly. hold on to that image of yourself. So delve inside. and then you cannot help but become that person.com .

our sense of worth and emotional anchorage. our ability to achieve. guidance. In a value-centered life. as Earl Nightingale observed. If these values can be distilled and concretized into a personal mission statement (what you want to be and do. The most important step is to identify your values. wisdom. Successful people have a clear direction. suggests that we imagine ourselves attending our own funeral and listen as we hear the eulogies being reads out about us. In an valuecentered life. Here. or how we respond to events. This sense of direction is a compass which keeps them on track. We spend our days acting out the kind of person we think we are. in The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. power. and eventually. Fourthly. We need to decide where the focus of our life is located. those basic principles which are most important to you. Do we like what we are hearing? What do we want to hear? How have we been remembered? We need to identify what is deeply important to us. our sense of direction. why they are going there. not being acted on by others but acting independently and skillfully in the world.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day Ten: The Importance of a Mission statement The image we have of ourselves is the most important thing in determining what we experience in the world. then we can live out each day deliberately creating an experience which leads to sustainable growth and happiness. money. we become what we think about. we should be detached from life’s changing landscape and guided internally by our core values. family. and it is often expressed in a mission statement. Covey identifies four features which flow from this center and which need to be in harmony in a truly creative and successful life. People have many focuses – work. Covey. Thirdly.com 25 . In Man’s Search for Meaning. friends and so on – but the truly creative person has his or her core values at the center of life. First is security. Steven R. Viktor Frankl suggests that we detect our meaning in life. so it is worth spending some time seriously reflecting on what values we live by. change should seen as an exciting adventure and an opportunity to learn and grow Secondly. we should recognize that what we achieve is effortlessabundance. Steven R. a sense of where they are going and. Here. based on your personal values). as importantly. we do not respond reactively to the vicissitudes of life but proactively make decisions. what really moves us.

it’s what is going to happen. detailed plan. the universe will do the rest. Your goals should be specific and clear – What are your values? What do you stand for? What are you going to achieve? What are you going to contribute to the world? This isn’t about what you want to achieve – it’s not a wish list. but a statement about what you are going to offer in exchange for meeting your goal. They just drift along. They don’t know what they want to achieve.com . think back to your mission statement – it will act as a compass to keep you on track. but the key element in the plan is clear statement of purpose. In this sense. The point here is that the universe can do anything. in his famous book Think and Grow Rich wrote that most people did not have a goal. There’s nothing here about sales targets.Thirty Days to Change Your Life our own responsibility and is not determined by the beliefs and behavior of others. it’s presented in chapter 2 of the book. realistic etc. 26 effortlessabundance. It needs to be carefully crafted. It should indicate how you are going to achieve your goals – this does not contradict the previous statement. how many sales you need to make etc. Most individuals don’t have a mission statement. however unbelievable or ‘unrealistic’ it is. When you start to get bogged down in the details of daily life. For example. He also presented a six step plan by which anyone could achieve financial success. etc. A mission statement cannot just be thrown together. You must not include a specific. They don’t have a clear idea of where they are going in life. incidentally – it’s essentially a method for clear about what you seek to achieve. how many clients you need to see. Once you have written down the ‘how’ in general terms. it’s a definite statement of intent. year after year. Most people live like that and they die like that. it provides you with a wide angle lens through which you can keep the bigger picture in view. Your goals do not need to be (SHOULD not be) ‘realistic’ or ‘attainable’ – we’ve all heard about ‘SMART’ targets which have to be measurable. your decisions and actions will be guided by it. decade after decade. it’s your ‘order’ from the menu of the universe. Here are the elements of a good mission statement.. This plan does not involve a lot of effort. Napoleon Hill. did not now where they were going. your goal is to be the best sales person in your company – you will achieve this goal by giving outstanding service to every customer. and a mission statement can be a powerful way of achieving this. If you want to find out about the plan.

And the ideas aren’t going to be as powerful if they’re not focused. you got on the ship. Your life is like a ship – of course.com 27 . but even more importantly. It should make you feel good – If you know where you’re going. So keep it short. you need a crew. you’re not going to do this if it’s going to take twenty minutes. you need a compass and you need a captain. to me. Just as if you are sailing somewhere on a ship – you know you’ll get to your destination and in the meantime you’re enjoying the view. the ship’s moving) whilst living in the present moment (you’re looking out at a wonderful sunrise. stop and think about your mission statement. This attitude of anticipating a future you have already chosen (you bought the ticket. the only sensible way to live. your ship just won’t get anywhere. enjoying the view) is. Taking time to write and regularly review your mission statement is one of the most important things you can do in life. It will keep things in perspective. Next time you get bogged down in the day-to-day detail of life. it will clarify your vision and it will keep you moving on the right course. Without them.Thirty Days to Change Your Life It should be short – some organizations produce long rambling mission statements which nobody ever reads! Napoleon Hill suggests you read through your ‘mission statement’ every morning and evening. busily working away to keep afloat and keep moving. effortlessabundance. you need a map. you’ll live a life of eager anticipation and joy. like a laser beam. focused and powerful.

Create specific goals I don’t think I’ve ever read a self-improvement book or anything on the law of attraction that didn’t emphasize in some way the importance of goal setting.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day eleven: Goals Did you make any new years’ resolutions in January? How many of them are you still on track with? We all have goals. So you need to start acting as if you already have what you aim to achieve in order to draw it into your life. And we all set them for ourselves all the time. this is certainly right.we’re not being very conscious. it’s just that usually we do it unconsciously. It’s the first step in a process that will lead you wherever you want to go. We’ve been taught that we ‘all good things come to those who wait’ and that delayed gratification is better than having it all now. Goals written down are like a compass that guides you through the chaos of daily life. This meeting is going to be boring. Actually. The 28 effortlessabundance. Why would anyone set these goals? Your goals don’t have to be like this so stop doing it! You need to try to be more conscious about your goals.com . ‘I’m going to be exhausted by the end of the week. and to this end it helps to write them down. The young couple that buys a house that’s too expensive for them and fills it with push furnishings and all mod cons is going to get into desperate trouble with their credit line because they couldn’t wait. But usually we don’t know it . and most of the goals people set are pretty odd. we all set goals all the time. Most people think that events and circumstances are reflected in your thoughts and feelings. In fact. Written goals send out a powerful message to the universe. it’s your thoughts and feelings that draw events and circumstances into your life. In this article I want to discuss a few ideas which may help you to set goals more consciously and also introduce a practical way to actually get them achieved. I’m never going to get through all this work …’ and so on. Start to achieve your goals right NOW! The law of attraction works in the following way: thoughts lead to feelings. feelings lead to things. In some ways.

as far as you can. In order to achieve this goal you need to give the law of attraction something to work with. and calling it a ‘$1000 deposit. This is a goal. Keep on doing it. So go looking around new places – every month spend an afternoon looking at luxury homes and show flats. This is how the LOA works – you need to give the universe something to work with. so start behaving as if you already have what you want and pretty soon it will be yours.Thirty Days to Change Your Life child (or the adult!) who stuffs his face with chocolate instead of waiting for dinner is going to suffer as a result. What will happen is that the real thing – the full. Occasionally you will be able to make that $1000 deposit. before you know it.com 29 . This is something I have done – when I travel. effortlessabundance. imagine that it’s yours. Examples are endless. I rarely use public transport these days and I do not drive. or as many times as you can. but not in full – perhaps one might say that you can have the quality but not the quantity.’ Telling people about it will also help. Because you have built up certain habits. What you have has got to be real. keep holding the thought and the universe will move to attract a wonderful new home into your life. This kind of delayed gratification is a necessary and healthy thing. is making a $1000 deposit into your savings account each month. maybe you want a chauffeur – that’s your goal but you can’t achieve that right now. As another example. I usually get a driver to take me from the airport to wherever I am staying and I take taxis to and from work. You need to start acting as if it’s already happening. So start by taking a taxi once a week. Maybe you want an extravagantly expensive new home. You can have what you want immediately. but the point is to start behaving as if your goal has already been achieved. An example given by Raymond Aaron in his book Double Your Income Doing What You Love. unabridged version – will start to appear in your life. decide on the date each month when you will make the deposit and go right ahead – but you don’t have to deposit $1000: you can make it $25 or even $1 – just get into the habit of doing it. But the main thing is to do it every month without fail. to build up a habit and to keep thinking of it as a $1000 deposit. but it just won’t be the whole thing. So. you’ll be living in a different way. But what we’re taking about here is not putting off your goals any more – we’re talking about getting them achieved.

a dripping tap soon fills the bucket! This isn’t just a mind trick. It is a game. A boat that changes its rudder by one degree will soon enough be headed in the opposite direction. building a website. Intentionally changing little things will be the start of a process that will radically change your life. Whether its’ learning a language.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Small things can make all the difference When you change your life in a small way and keep on doing things in this different way. So go out there and start playing! 30 effortlessabundance. writing a book. as is all of life (in a sense).com . persistently acting in a small way is key . having a great marriage. building a career or getting rich. after a surprisingly short time. your life will be different.

It’s like water or electricity moving . Pooh?” “Do What?” asked Pooh. The ancient Chinese philosophy of Wu Wei is the best description of this kind of ‘achievement without effort. or if you don’t revise for your exam because it’s too much trouble.or rather a certain way of getting things done . “Just How do you do it. If you don’t exercise because you can’t be bothered. almost as if the saw is an extension of your arm. But there is a certain way of doing things . We’ve all heard things like this a million times.’ I remember my dad telling me how to saw a piece of wood: he said you had to follow the wood’s natural grain. right? Perhaps at school you got a grade for ‘effort’ and were berated by teachers and parents for being lazy. the path of least resistance . It sounds wrong.” he said. There’s no such thing as a free lunch. and it is powerful motion because energy is not being used to overcome. are contained in Benjaminn Hoff’s excellent book.but it just means ‘going with the flow. just hold loosely and let the saw be your guide.don’t push and pull too hard. But we should distinguish between effortlessness and doing nothing or being lazy.by which an excellent result is achieved with the expenditure of very little energy. and then let the saw do the work . but it is effortless motion. always finding the easiest route.’ An interesting and very accessible introduction to this idea. counterintuitive .it travels easily and effortlessly. there is action. then of course you’re heading for an impoverished life. The Tao of Pooh. or if you eat junk food because it’s to much effort to cook something healthy. “But all those things of yours get done.” he said” effortlessabundance. You’ll never make anything of yourself if you don’t put in more effort.” “I don’t do much of anything.” “They just sort of happen. if possible. “Become so Effortless.com 31 .there is motion.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twelve: Wu Wei You’ve always been told that making no effort is bad. along with many others which will crop up time and again in this blog.

speaks about an inner darkness which is created when you live a life without integrity. Whether you’re teacher who helps a student to pass an exam or encourages him to apply for university. 2. Do you want to grow.com . The doctor who learns no new skills is falling behind and being carried by her colleagues. giving something of ourselves and helping out wherever we can. you add value to their life and you make the world a better place. 6. 1. This is not the reason for doing it. Life is strange like that! 5. If you’re not adding value. problem people and solution people. the whole that you produce is greater than the sum of the parts which produced it. the adding-value paradigm insists that when you enrich the life of someone else. you can add value or you can take it away. the pie gets bigger and there is more for us all. or an author who writes a book that helps thousands of people. but when you really try to add value with no expectation of reward. 3. If you become known as someone who always helps. Living a life of integrity and value is the only way to truly feel good about yourself. the teacher who is unenthusiastic about his classes is damaging the students’ education. Competition and selfishness pervade our world . It makes you feel good. Maybe not in the way you think. the rewards start rolling in.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day thirteen: Adding value to the world Many of us have been brought up to think that there is only so much to go around and we must grab what we can before other people get our share. but it’s a fact – when you give you receive. 7. Steven Covey. including yourself. But why would anyone want to do this? Here are my top seven reasons. you make the world better for all of us. that’s what 32 effortlessabundance. in The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. You’re going to get a whole lot in return. It brings opportunity. you’re taking it away. There are two kinds of person. you’ll win friends and influence people. of course. 4. This is called adding value. It’s the meaning of life. When you add value.’ But there is another paradigm which insists on helping others. The bottom line is that adding value is the whole point of being alive – that’s what we’re all here for. Unlike the ‘not enough pie to go round’ paradigm. It makes the world a better place for all of us. my friend (can you guess the movie?). or do you want to die? you have to choose. You cannot stand still – you can grow or die. When you help someone.we have been schooled in the ethic of ‘me first. always tries to find a solution. Which are you seen as? You future success could depend on being in the right category.

do a part time degree. 3. Steve Jobs. This is how you learn more skills which will enable you to add more value. pick yourself up and keep going. you’ll do it badly and you might even be afraid to do it at all. Keep on learning new things and expanding your comfort zone. You can do better. Madonna. Make sure you know what you can do. write a novel – but do something new. But if you push through that initial failure. 4. adding value is all about being creative in situations and seeing how you can use your skills to make a difference. If you have a choice of two or more paths. Adding value will guide you to the right job or enterprise. Adding value is what you were put on this earth to do. Try to get the best out of people – encourage them to be the best they can be. 6. 5. 7. This will keep you in alignment with your true purpose in life and will. tangible and intangible. here are seven ways of making sure you are adding value in every situation as much as you can. adding value comes naturally. Now. Don’t be sacred to fail. This will inspire them to take their own risks and add their own value to the world. When you do something new. always choose the one that allows you to add the most value. be they career paths or anything else. bring you greater happiness and greater reward. ultimately. Ever wonder about the meaning of life? Adding value – that’s it! The rewards that come from adding value are immense and unpredictable. What are your skills? What are you good at? These are the tools which will allow you to add value. Encourage other people. If and when you do fail. put together a website. Look at Bill Gates. Go on a course. effortlessabundance. wither you need to change the way you’re doing things. get out! If you’re in a job where you don’t feel you’re systematically adding something. Do what you love. or it’s time to quit.com 33 . Of course. If you’re not adding value.Thirty Days to Change Your Life it’s all about. or any number of rich and successful people: what do they have ion common? They do what they love! And they are successful because they add value naturally. 1. the best way to do what you’re good at is to … 2. you might not want to go through the experience again. you’ll start to improve and eventually you’ll be good at what you’re doing. Mostly. When you do the things you love.

it’s likely that you’ll never go out. But in fact. or never take any kind of risk at all. and it adversely affects your health.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day fourteen: Don’t worry Worrying is like a rocking chair. but worry magnifies these disproportionately and blinds us to the wonders of our age. Worry distorts reality. On a treadmill at least you get some exercise. greater access to information and lifelong education. Worrying is bad for your health. have more opportunity for personal and professional growth. You are saying ‘I know that things will turn out badly. You have no idea how the future is going to turn out. Glenn Turner We live in a culture where everyone seems to worry. When you worry. Yes. Why waste your energy doing something that gets you nowhere. The truth is that you are in control and you can choose how to react to situations. the cows have got BSE. never travel. physical changes are happening in your body which are very 34 effortlessabundance. So why worry? Worry means you give away your power. Worry is not a normal state of mind. worry makes no sense at all. We live in an age where people live longer. Turn on the news – someone got shot.com . more chance to travel. it gives you something to do. If you take all of this stuff seriously. a new super-flu is coming. Things never happen the way you imagine. Here are some reasons why worry really is a pointless and damaging activity. … On and on it goes. there are risks and potential dangers. Some people are so entrenched in worry that they cannot see any other way to live. so why choose to give that power away so easily and so unconsciously? Worrying is completely unproductive. have better access to health care. But worry robs you of your power to be proactive. you are predicting the future. even your physical health. When you worry. terrorists are regrouping. never eat. except to say that it will not be what you think it will be. but worry is a truly pointless activity. and many other wonderful things. but it gets you nowhere. there’s mercury in the fish we eat. though I suspect we all know this deep down.’ But this just isn’t the case. Spend your time and energy on something more useful.

simple and effective steps you can take to eliminate worry from your life. among many other things. especially if you’ve been a worrier all your life. as such. a distortion of our natural. Recognize that worry is a habit.com 35 . and so effortlessabundance. Things happen that are truly outside our circle of influence. E. there is a momentum to worry. You don’t have to be religious to realize that this is good advice. Worry is not natural. You cannot control the whole world. Realize that you are in control. Keep things in perspective. Joseph Crossman said. it is within the sphere of our own influence. it is not ‘love one another’ or ‘love God’ or anything like that. Worry is a choice – it’s inside our own head and. try to recall what you were worrying about one year ago today. Steven Covey tells us that the first step to a better life is the realization that we are free to choose how to react to circumstances. When you face Nelson DeMille said that ‘Somehow our devils are never quite what we expect when we meet them face to face. it might not be easy to do. all your worry will dissipate. With time. Do little children worry? Do animals worry? Do all adults worry? There is nothing inherent in being human that means you have to worry. So how can we break out of this worry habit? Like all habits. It increases stress which can increase blood pressure. cause higher levels of stomach acid. Stop trying to be in control of everything.’ Are you still worrying about those things? Will all this stuff matter in 100 years from now? Face your fears. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People.’ After you do something that scares you. you’ll probably find it wasn’t as bad as you thought. It is simple ‘do not be afraid. Do you know the most frequent instruction given in the Bible? Surprisingly. cause muscle tension and headaches.Thirty Days to Change Your Life damaging. But it’s possible to change any habit.’ I don’t know how many times it appears. ‘If you want to test your memory. healthy state. Worry is a pathology. and it might not be easy to break away from this. but there are some clear. but I’ve seen estimates between 100 and 366 times. Like all habits.

Stop taking yourself so seriously. This is part of life. and worry will not change it one little bit. one of my favorite quotes from the master of quotes. You must not let it eat away at you.Thirty Days to Change Your Life we need to relax and accept that sometimes things just happen as they will. but most of them never happened. Mark Twain. If you fail.’ 36 effortlessabundance. is it the end of the world? Are you really so important that the world will stop turning if you get things wrong? Life is not that serious. so what? If you screw up. ‘I am an old man and have known a great many troubles.com . Worry is a dangerous and poisonous thing. Finally.

great or small. Never.’ • Colonel Sanders talked to 1005 people before he could find one person willing to try his recipe. large or petty--never give in. we have got this one all wrong. you will never amount to effortlessabundance. • Michael Jordan was cut from his school basketball team because of ‘lack of skill. when were the times you really learned? Which were the situations through which you grew the most? Like much of our conditioning. Not only should we not fear failure. his parents thought he was mentally retarded. His work on gravitation secured him a place as one of the greatest Scientists in history. His grades in school were so bad that a teacher asked him to leave. never--in nothing. except to convictions of honor and good sense. writing. something to be avoided. never. • Isaac Newton was regarded as stupid by his teachers.com 37 . But if you look back over you life. Now virtually every office in the world has a machine. Never give in. “Einstein. • When Albert Einstein was young. we should embrace it. His name is Bill Gates. something to be embarrassed about or ashamed of. • An unknown Harvard dropout bought a piece of computer technology from an unknown person for $50 and started a bunsiness. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.’ • The first Xerox copier was a flop. never. He is widely regarded to be one of the most important figures in modern world history. Just look at this list of ‘famous failures. • Thomas Edison was told by his teachers that he was too stupid to learn anything. Never yield to force. because failure is the necessary precursor of success.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day fifteen: Never give up Never give in. • A newspaper editor fired Walt Disney for having no good ideas • Winston Churchill was a failure at school. He failed 9000 times before successfully inventing the light bulb. Failure teaches us how to succeed. Winston Churchill Have you ever failed? Did you feel bad about it? We are usually conditioned to think of failure as a bad thing.

Fail again. Try again.’ • Stephen King was so disillusioned with his first novel ‘Carrie’ that he threw it in the bin.Thirty Days to Change Your Life anything!” Of course. We could go on (and on. …) The absurdity of seeing failure as a bad thing and taking other people’s opinions about us too seriously is clear.com . and on. Einstein was one of the greatest scientists who ever lived. No matter. Take the advice of Samuel Becket: Ever tried. • Henry Ford’s first two automobile companies failed. 38 effortlessabundance. • J K Rowling’s first ‘Harry Potter’ book was rejected by a publisher who said ‘there’s no money in children’s books. Fail better. Ever failed. He became one of the richest men in the world. His wife rescued it and sent it to a publisher.

It works both ways. Just as drug addicts and alcoholics live impoverished lives to keep getting their fix. their lives a mimicry. Like sheep without any need for a sheepdog. it’s other people – society. Their thoughts are someone else's opinions.com 39 . First. We are so desperate for the approval of others that we live unhappy and limited lives. denying huge swathes of ourselves and failing to do the things we really want to do because we’re worried about what other people will think. colleagues and friends. We discovered that feeling important and feeling accepted was a nice experience and so we learned to do everything we could to make other people like us.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day sixteen: Don’t let other people run your life for you Why you shouldn’t care what other people think about you (and why you shouldn’t expect anyone else to care about you) Most people are other people. we continue – mostly through mutual peer pressure – to keep each other in check. The drug is so addictive that most people will not give it up – they will keep looking for approval because the hit is so intense. We learned this way of being so well that. their passions a quotation. We didn’t want to be singled out by the crowd for being different because this wasn’t such a nice feeling. of course. Am I dressed right? Will people laugh at my accent? Will I look stupid? Will I make a mistake? When we feel that others think badly of us. we all want to feel important and so we crave the positive attention of others. We were brainwashed. author of the multi-million best seller. so we impoverish our own existence to get our own constant fix of approval. Oscar Wilde Who is in control of your life? Who’s pulling your strings? For the majority of us. according to Dale Carnegie. family. it makes us feel good. And so when people stroke our ego and tell us how wonderful we are. just as with any effortlessabundance. it makes us feel bad and so we try to avoid this. But. we are afraid of disapproval. We crave this good feeling like a drug – we are addicted to it and seek it out wherever we can. How to Win Friends and Influence People. as adults. we keep each other in line. church or other religious community. This is one of our basic needs. We learned this way of operating when we were very young. Second.

they’re more interested in themselves than in you. effective. there is a price to pay. I think there’s only one way – make a conscious decision to stop caring what other people think. People have their own agenda. we will build our life on sinking sand. in fact. The person who tries to please everyone will only end up getting exhausted and probably pleasing no one in the process. you need to stop giving away your power – you need to genuinely stop caring what other people think about you. I have written before about guiding your life by means of a set of values – not values imposed from the outside by others. The truth is that it’s all an illusion anyway – you cannot control what other people think. Everyone has a different way of thinking. But why so? We all know what’s right and wrong. If we are driven by these values and not by the changing opinions and value systems of others.Thirty Days to Change Your Life drug. So how can we take back control? If we are truly ready to give up the drug of approval and importance (which most people are not). noon and after dinner. they’re thinking about themselves ‘morning. Only one question remains – do you really want to be free? 40 effortlessabundance. we will live a more authentic. If you want to pull your own strings. The price of the approval drug is freedom – the freedom to be ourselves. in the end. Do you want your drug or do you want to be free? You cannot have both.com . This doesn’t mean that you should start to treat people badly. Why would it? I read somewhere recently that the world would be terrible if nobody cared what other people thought of them. If we try to live by the opinions of others. purposeful and happy life. but innate values which come from within. and people change their opinions all the time. they come with their own baggage and. step on them or use them. We will be actualized and successful.’ as Carnegie wrote.

some people see money as a wonderful. Murphy sets out how. So an ‘affirmation’ is simply a verbal statement which you regard to be true. here lies all our truth – whether we think the world is a caring and nurturing place or lonely and cruel – it all comes from our subconscious mind. I have read dozens of books and read many accounts of how thing the subconscious mind has led to untold benefits. through the power of your subconscious. One of the best reads is Joseph Murphy’s classic book.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day seventeen: Affirmations I first came across the idea that our subconscious mind is the key to fulfilling our dreams when I was a teenager. our confidence.com 41 . our success.’ But money is just money – inanimate. But the real truth is that you are projecting your image of the world onto the world which is. Unless you have worked deliberately to change it. and in the (many!) years since then I have been an avid reader on the subject. you can (to use Murphy’s slightly old fashioned language!) • • • • Win riches and prosperity Regain former youthfulness and vigor Work real miracles in the lives of others Find new peace of mind There are many ways to tap into the power of your subconscious mind. but I believe that there are three techniques which have more power and are more effective than the rest. What is an affirmation? When you affirm something. Our views about it are entirely our own creation. here lies our happiness. largely. I will be exploring these three techniques. Our view of the world (and of ourselves) springs from our subconscious. a neutral environment to be interpreted. It has been there for a long time and you will believe that it is the truth. neutral. while others see it as ‘filthy lucre. beautiful thing. The Power of Your Subconscious Mind. For example. effortlessabundance.the strangest. In a series of articles. passive. you are saying that it is true or a fact. most powerful and most misunderstood thing in the universe. as I believe it has done in my own life. It is here that we keep a picture of the world. The first technique is the proper use of affirmations. I am absolutely convinced that the subconscious is the key to everything . In the book. the picture of the world you have created came mainly from your childhood.

You could. First. for example. Think carefully about this and be honest with yourself. affirmations must be positive. You don’t have to share this or discuss it with anyone. Second. present tense descriptions of the picture which emerges. affirmations must be in the present tense.com . For example. 42 effortlessabundance. but eventually it erupts from the soil and. There can be a period of time when nothing seems to be happening. But this period is like a plant growing under the surface if the earth – it takes time to grow.’ You get the idea. go through the following simple process to construct your own affirmations.’ As with many things.’ With these two things in mind.Thirty Days to Change Your Life If you make affirmations which are incongruent with the picture of the word you have created in your subconscious. for each area. you will experience abundance flowing into your life in an effortless way. It’s a kind of ‘conscious brainwashing.’ Say.’ Instead of saying. growth happens in fits and starts. which will teach you more about affirmations and manifesting techniques.’ say ‘I am wealthy. You might like to try the Sculptor 3 Affirmation Program. and many people will get discouraged and give up. There are many ways to work with affirmations. ‘I am not poor. affirming. Don’t say ‘I am not sick. think about your life and write down the areas you would like to improve. but being candid with yourself is important. ‘I am happy. write down several positive.’ Say ‘I am well. don’t say ‘I want to be happy’ or ‘I am going to be happy. work with subliminal affirmations. First. affirming statements. When you consciously re-script yourself by using techniques such as this. But as you keep repeating positive affirmations. and write down positive. you will chip away at this resistance. soon. Think about what you want your life in these areas to be like. and eventually your inner picture of yourself and the world will change accordingly. You might keep repeating your affirmations with no apparent results. Second. After a fallow time. So what makes a good affirmation? There are two simple things to remember. you will experience some resistance and may feel foolish saying things to yourself which you do not believe to be true. there is a riot of color and growth. the results of affirmations can be sudden and startling.

not too bright.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day eighteen: The power of visualization Imagine a lemon. If you find your mind wondering off into more mundane or negative images. Now bite into it. • It’s best to set aside a time for this. We are constantly creating pictures in our head – playing back things that happened to use earlier in the day and imagining what things are going to be like in the future. like me. so the process is not difficult or esoteric. Don’t berate yourself if you lose concentration – just come back to your image. Use a knife and cut into the flesh. But many people respond better to visual cues. Now imagine you’re cutting it open. some important things to remember. and affirmations are an excellent way to take control of this process. Smell it – take in that faint lemon smell coming through the skin. Bite deep into the flesh of the lemon. effortlessabundance. the smooth shape that tapers off at either end. Feel the waxy texture. Bring it up to your nose and smell it again. A visualization is simply a mental image of what we want to achieve. Some of us (myself included) are ‘verbal learners’ and we respond well to linguistic cues. Even if. This one might seem obvious. Our mind has been programmed over the years. but only visualize what you really want. Go to a quiet place. subconscious level shapes our reality. Even ten minutes is fine. bring yourself gently back to the object of your visualization. Sit or lie comfortably. There are. What we believe to be true at a deep. close your eyes and relax. and for this reason visualization is another important tool which can be used to change our experience. you are not a very ‘visual’ person. And who said thoughts can’t influence reality? In order to change the world. Can you taste that? By now. For this reason. usually without our being aware of it. It’s a much stronger smell. the dimples in the skin. Look at it – the color.com 43 . it is vital that we have the right belief systems operating at this deep level. however. we need to change ourselves first. • Visualize the object or situation that you desire. your mouth should be watering. you are still visualizing all the time. and our subconscious programming dictates our experience of life.

com . This is a key ingredient. Smell that new car interior. I even read somewhere about imagining licking the leather upholstery. Finally. Strange. 44 effortlessabundance. but you won’t be there! • Use soundtracks. Use every sense. keep an open mind. not just sight. Sometimes things don’t happen exactly as we expect and imagine. Otherwise. Try to get really ‘worked up’ about the experience. but it does get you to really be ‘in the moment.’ • Put as much feeling as possible into your image. what you’re imagining might come true. Hear the door close behind you. • Put yourself in the picture. but you’ll be amazed at the results of this if you practice regularly. Use them if you need to. You can download visualization MP3s and buy CDs with nice sound tracks.Thirty Days to Change Your Life • Be as detailed as possible. I personally use these because I always think my imagination is weak and I need a bit of help.

but it got me thinking (again) about death. Betty Smith. And today we are nearer to our own death than ever before. But keeping our mortality in mind can greatly enrich our life. But today is the closest we have ever been to that moment when life finally gets snuffed out. In his wonderful book Awareness. He even suggests imagining your body decaying and rotting away. Only two things re certain: one day we’ll be one of those numbers.’ he writes. He calls this a ‘lovely. My mother used to say that when this happens. someone has walked over your grave. Last week we were further away. and we have no idea when that will be. a shiver ran through my body.’ and says that to think of it as anything less than lovely is a sign that you are hiding from reality. Imagine today is your last day on Earth. ‘you live it. Anthony de Mello suggests a meditation where you imagine you are lying in your coffin or your grave.com maintains a meter which clicks up how many people are dying all over the world – I can’t keep up with it: it’s more than one per second anyway.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day nineteen: What death can teach us Look at everything as though you were seeing it either for the first or last time. ‘When you’re ready to loose your life. Lovely meditation. Worldometers. It’s quite possible that today will be our last day on this Earth. something I haven’t done for a very long time.com 45 . We don’t know when death will come to greet us. and we are largely insulated and protected from it – dead bodies are quickly swept away into mortuaries and funeral parlors and encased in coffins. What’s your reaction to this? Is this morbid? Why dwell on death? Shouldn’t we think about more happy and positive things? Part of our reaction comes form the fact that our Western society tends to look at death as a negative thing. novelist (1896-1972) Today as I was eating lunch. then your time on earth will be filled with glory.’ effortlessabundance. Of course you are. Yesterday we were further away. you might imagine. Everyone over the age of about ten knows that. Not a pleasant thing to say. You’re going to die.

‘our reason for living!’ 46 effortlessabundance. thinking about death can make us more alive: it is. more meaningful? Wouldn’t you be more grateful? Strangely. clearer. as John Hegley writes in Dog.Thirty Days to Change Your Life So what would your life look like if this were your last day on earth? What would you do? How would you treat people? Would you take more risks? How would you see things? Wouldn’t they be more vivid.com .

there is a price to pay. it makes us feel bad and so we try to avoid this. And so when people stroke our ego and tell us how wonderful we are. Oscar Wilde Who is in control of your life? Who’s pulling your strings? For the majority of us. The price of the approval drug is freedom – the freedom to be ourselves. We are so desperate for the approval of others that we live unhappy and limited lives. We learned this way of operating when we were very young. It works both ways.com 47 . we all want to feel important and so we crave the positive attention of others. This is one of our basic needs. their passions a quotation. We didn’t want to be singled out by the crowd for being different because this wasn’t such a nice feeling. We crave this good feeling like a drug – we are addicted to it and seek it out wherever we can. First. Their thoughts are someone else’s opinions. How to Win Friends and Influence People.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty: Why you shouldn’t care what other people think about you Most people are other people. Second. But. their lives a mimicry. so we impoverish our own existence to get our own constant fix of approval. family. We discovered that feeling important and feeling accepted was a nice experience and so we learned to do everything we could to make other people like us. according to Dale Carnegie. it’s other people – society. We learned this way of being so well that. of course. it makes us feel good. we are afraid of disapproval. Like sheep without any need for a sheepdog. author of the multi-million best seller. colleagues and friends. just as with any drug. we continue – mostly through mutual peer pressure – to keep each other in check. The drug is so addictive that most people will not give it up – they will keep looking for approval because the hit is so intense. we keep each other in line. church or other religious community. We were brainwashed. denying huge swathes of ourselves and failing to do the things we really want to do because we’re worried about what other people will think. Just as drug addicts and alcoholics live impoverished lives to keep getting their fix. Do you want your drug or do you want to be effortlessabundance. as adults. Am I dressed right? Will people laugh at my accent? Will I look stupid? Will I make a mistake? When we feel that others think badly of us.

We will be actualized and successful. you need to stop giving away your power – you need to genuinely stop caring what other people think about you. So how can we take back control? If we are truly ready to give up the drug of approval and importance (which most people are not). Check out the Silva Method. This doesn’t mean that you should start to treat people badly. Only one question remains – do you really want to be free? We are so socially conditioned that we often need some help in becoming more authentically ourselves. we will live a more authentic. noon and after dinner. in the end. but innate values which come from within. The person who tries to please everyone will only end up getting exhausted and probably pleasing no one in the process. tried and tested method to take back control. There are many excellent self-help pro grammes available. purposeful and happy life. Everyone has a different way of thinking. 48 effortlessabundance. Countless people from all walks of life have been benefiting for decades. they come with their own baggage and.’ as Carnegie wrote. effective.Thirty Days to Change Your Life free? You cannot have both. they’re more interested in themselves than in you. we will build our life on sinking sand. But why so? We all know what’s right and wrong. If you want to pull your own strings. Check it out for free here. step on them or use them. People have their own agenda. I think there’s only one way – make a conscious decision to stop caring what other people think. The truth is that it’s all an illusion anyway – you cannot control what other people think.com . It’s a world famous. If we try to live by the opinions of others. and people change their opinions all the time. Why would it? I read somewhere recently that the world would be terrible if nobody cared what other people thought of them. If we are driven by these values and not by the changing opinions and value systems of others. I have written before about guiding your life by means of a set of values – not values imposed from the outside by others. in fact. they’re thinking about themselves ‘morning.

while the plants use the vast underground networks of fungi to increase the amount of territory they occupy and hence the amount of nutrients they can absorb. effortlessabundance.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty-one: Cooperation The world seems to be full of competition. Sports teams compete for the trophy or cup. where 1 + 1 = 3. Universities compete for the brightest students. A striking example cited by Anne Fausto-Sterling is the case of the flashlight fish. less showy. Perhaps most obviously. Examples of cooperation in nature abound. interconnecting and mutually cooperating systems. Tom Asaker argues that. to the extent that we now live in a culture of competition. ‘the answers have changed. perhaps not least of all because it promulgated the idea that competition was a natural and normal part of life. Businesses compete for customers and market share. It’s case of the whole being greater than the sun of the parts. not competition.’ She goes on to describe many other. in particular the subterranean network of roots and fungi which support each other. symbiosis is essential to life on Earth – without this form of cooperation. In a provocative talk. ‘which lures luminescent bacteria into chambers inside its body and then uses the cultures to light its way through the dark ocean and signal other flashlighters about sex and danger. the true win-win situation. your own body is a vast system of complex. Darwin’s Origin of the Species has been very influential. that nature was ‘red in tooth and claw. Democrats compete to become the presidential candidate. although we are asking the same questions. there would simply be no life at all. Indeed. Political parties compete for power. though a change seems to be taking place – we are starting to see a new way of thinking. but widespread examples of such symbiotic systems. The fungi have no chloroplasts of their own and so feed off material manufactured by the the plants to which the roots belong.’ and that successful businesses no longer think in terms of competing but of simply being unique. This paradigm is focused on cooperation. all working together to produce a truly amazing entity. Kids at school sit exams. You get the picture. reflecting a different paradigm.’ and this way of thinking has impregnated our culture at every level. compete for grades and try to get into the best universities.com 49 . We think in these terms all the time.

so I’ll get more traffic. shared their tales. some carrots. talents. a hearty stew was made. several townsfolk decide to investigate the matter and approach the two travelers to engage them in conversation. even when starting from apparently opposing positions. benefits me! I leave you with a wonderful story I heard as a child. Finally. I will (obviously) link to the blog which will. “But I have a cabbage. village. bringing their “stone soup” to a boil. where they decide to rest by the side of the road. which will add some flavor!” “And I. we both benefit. “So we may eat stone soup. Readers might add both Sites to their social bookmarks. that blog gets more content. There exists a tale.” “It must be terribly bland!” said an old woman. impoverished. Hungry and tired from a long day’s journey. of two travelers on a pilgrimage. Eventually. too. therefore. If I submit an article to another blog. and not even from compromise. upon which the entire village and the weary travelers dined… and while doing so. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. the local villagers became inquisitive of the curious antics of these strangers. by the contribution of a little by many. With the event of online social communities and blogging. In the end. they come to a small.Thirty Days to Change Your Life This principle applies in social and business activity. too. handed down from times long ago. The very next 50 effortlessabundance. in fact. where both parties get a result which is better than either could have achieved alone. traffic coming to the blog where my article is posted will probably visit my own blog. get more traffic. One of the travelers built a small fire upon which he placed a large pot. Steven Covey tells us that the best results come not from competition. while the other. a young boy asked the travelers “But why are you boiling a stone?” One of the travelers replied. having drawn water from the town well filled the pot and placed into it a simple stone. and we should approach it with this mentality of cooperation. a huge symbiotic network. until. What benefits others. “Some potatoes!” offered another. shared their tales of the ands and people they had met throughout their journey and pilgrimage with the local villagers.com . which will add color!” said another villager. who turned out to be quite friendly. and camaraderie throughout the night. Shortly thereafter. but from the win-win solution. shortly. as the visitors. there was heard the sound of merriment. The online community is. the potential for cooperation and the benefits to be derived form it have become enormous and transparent. As the two men sat by the fire.

” effortlessabundance. In fact. the travelers (who by now could be called “strangers” no more). and its people. and the lesson they had learned. that little village thrived. continued their journey. during the hardest of times. behind. because he townsfolk never forgot how to make “stone soup.Thirty Days to Change Your Life day.com 51 . in such a time as this tale. But the villagers never forgot them. leaving the little town.

this may be true. If you think you are missing out on something. I never understood why it was so important. But life is what it is at the moment. so he does have some credibility! So what’s it to be? What will you focus on today? 52 effortlessabundance.com . happiness and wealth.’ As a kid. If you value something very highly. But why is gratitude such a powerful thing? Life tends to give us what we subconsciously expect. then you will not attract opportunities into your life. He discovered that happiness does not lie outside in the world. health. You might say. You will not see the significance in certain things coming your way.’ If it is your belief that you lack things. The only sensible thing to do is to see the positive things – see what is good. This is true of everything in life – friendships. is a way to true happiness and peace of mind. goes. we need to feel that we already have them. Our experience of life is a reflection of our inner world. Showing gratitude.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty-two: Be grateful Many others have written on the subject of being grateful. it lies within. then that will be your experience of the world. for example. and within that gap is our whole experience of life. You will fail to be in the right place at the right time. All the great spiritual teachers have shown us that we need to be grateful for what we have. I really don’t have XYZ. ‘for what we are about to receive may the lord make us truly grateful. The grace before meals. they say. if you treasure it and are grateful for it. ‘there are genuine problems in my life. and I am not seeking to demean your problems or trivialize the difficulties you are having. You cannot have it any other way and to kick against it just causes more pain. And this is just another way of saying we need to adopt an ‘attitude of gratitude. And this is a man who lived as a prisoner in a Nazi death camp.’ Well. then it is likely that it will grow and become more powerful. Is the glass half empty or is it half full? Viktor Frankl said that between stimulus and response there is a gap. which I used to recite parrot fashion as a child. And I guess many adults still don’t. So in order to attract good things.

But then something odd happened.’ shadowy figures who are enslaving humanity for their own ends. All very fine and sensible. I remember him presenting the snooker. we have to change ourselves. I remember he shook my hand and told me that. The phrase ‘combing the mirror’ reminds us that if we want to make a difference in our lives. As this time he came to the little town where I lived and. Everyone started to laugh at him. We can change the way we see the world – we can change our own experience of life. But not by trying to change that which is outside of ourselves. but David does subscribe to a set of beliefs about the nature of reality which are becoming more and more accepted. UK. is essentially an illusion. I could influence those around me. Why am I telling you this? I don’t believe most of it. just by chance. Reality. I met him on the street. and his name became synonymous with all that was loony and ‘new-age. He believes we are being controlled by the ‘illuminati. As a teenager in the 1980s. David grew up as a working class boy in the midlands. He then joined the ‘Green Party’ and campaigned to become an MP in the British parliament.com 53 .’ He has since developed a big following and speaks to large crowds. although I wasn’t old enough to vote. He left the sport due to ill health and became a well-respected sports commentator on the BBC. colour and brightness. pitch and volume. he says. He is quite famous now (or should that be infamous?) but in case you don’t know him. We can perceive certain energy frequencies as light. The universe is what it is. but it is essentially inaccessible to us as except through our limited senses. The whole world lies within us. If we try to change effortlessabundance. And the only thing we can change is ourselves. David had a mystical experience and started saying that he was the ‘son of God’ and took to wearing a turquoise tracksuit because he believed this color brought him closer to heaven. sound. We perceive the world as we do because of the way we are made up physiologically. and so on. here’s a potted history.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty-three: Combing the mirror I owe this wonderful expression to David Icke. and was briefly a goalkeeper at Coventry City soccer club.

you don’t try to comb the image of yourself in the mirror – the image is just a reflection of yourself. Then the whole universe will bend. Only try to realize the truth. ‘Don’t try to bend the spoon – that’s impossible. we are only going to be frustrated. But until we learn to change ourselves.Thirty Days to Change Your Life reality. The image will change naturally when you work on yourself. If you want to comb your hair. To quote the spoon bender in The Matrix. we will always have the same experience.com .’ 54 effortlessabundance. This is a view which many people fail to understand.

your life will be so much lighter and easier. Sounds like a strange piece of advice. Sometimes you’ll be flavor of the month. he gnaws his lip ~Shakespeare. often given before an interview or a date or some other occasion when we need to impress. Richard III It is impossible to really be yourself when you are worried about how other people perceive you. We crave approval. We need to fit in. When you stop giving your power away to other people like this. The truth is that most of us – unless we have really thought about it and made an effort to change – are puppets. How could you not be yourself? Strange at is seems. To genuinely not care what others think is an amazing and enlightening experience. Try it. But you cannot control what other people think of you. usually it doesn’t matter at all.com 55 . But this natural and healthy tendency has taken over our lives to such an extent that we are often paralyzed by a fear of the outside world and obsessed by how others see us. effortlessabundance. we have been conditioned all our lives to behave according to other people’s expectations. to dance to their tune. ~Raymond Hull ‘Be yourself!’ This is a common piece of advice. And in some ways it is – other people do have power over us. though. this is just a characteristic of being human – we are social animals and need to fit into the group to survive. In many ways. other times you might be public enemy number one. But the truth is that it doesn’t matter as much as you think. controlled by the world around us. To give the opinions and thoughts of others so much importance is to make your own life a misery.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day Twenty Four: Be Yourself How to be yourself He who trims himself to suit everyone will soon whittle himself away. But what would things look life if you could really ‘be yourself’? Don’t give away your power The King is angry. See. so why even try? Let them think what they will. to let them pull our stings. We all care (at least a little bit) what other people think – we have been raised to believe that the approval of others is important.

which is usually a sign of an inferiority complex – but because you shouldn’t hide what you believe. 100 years? In many ways. You might be able to succeed in some senses by being dishonest and duplicitous. you are free.com . how can you be yourself? Don’t take yourself so seriously When you can laugh at yourself. don’t get things out of proportion. the world is a ridiculous place. conceited way. and so are you. honest person. but in the end you will be unable to face yourself. you will create what I have heard called an ‘inner darkness. or anticipate troubles. You can’t make sense of it all however hard you try. Will any of this matter in a year. if you grovel before what you dislike. lighten up.’ So relax. the world got along fine without you for millions of years. Remember the old saying: ‘laugh and the world laughs with you. worry about the future. full of crazy things that make no sense at all. day after day. and will do so long after you’re gone. ten year. but to live in the present moment wisely and earnestly. In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Steven Covey writes that truly successful people operate from a principle-centered paradigm. Your health is bound to be affected if. If you are not true to yourself – if you are dishonest. you say the opposite of what you feel. It is what it is. So keep things in perspective. if you hide part of yourself. ~Boris Pasternak Living with integrity means being an open. one of the most widely read and influential self-improvement books or f all time. ~ Gautama Siddharta (Buddha) 56 effortlessabundance. Don’t worry: accept things as they are The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past. steering their lives by means of a clear compass of integrity. either as a defense mechanism or to get a promotion or make money. ~ Ted Loder Will the world stop turning if you screw up? Believe it or not.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Live with integrity The great majority of us are required to live a life of constant duplicity. and if you cannot look in the mirror with a clear conscience. It means saying what you think – not in an arrogant. and rejoice at what brings you nothing but misfortune. with all your contradictions and faults and failings.’ and this will haunt you.

perhaps. don’t let other people tell you what to do and how to live. if the sun is setting. and perhaps most importantly. whatever comes along. We spend so much time trying to change our world.com 57 . you only have yourself to blame. In the end. Do what you love The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams. to love it – to live any other way is madness. I read somewhere recently that life is no about avoiding the storm but about learning to dance in the rain. it will set. begin to see the answer to that most perplexing of questions: Who am I? effortlessabundance. so don’t waste time with worry or regret . If you are true to yourself and live with integrity. Accept these many. learn not only to live with it. honesty and without fear. many things which are outside our control and. it will come. so don’t let it control you either. but in reality we can only change ourselves. But the truth is that there are surprisingly few things we can influence directly. Don’t be a puppet – don’t let the world around you pull your strings. and I think this is a wonderful truth. but to embrace it.Thirty Days to Change Your Life We have a tendency to think we are in control. then you will. You cannot control it. ~Eleanor Roosevelt Finally. you are responsible for your experience of life. and if you don’t follow your dreams. If the rain is coming. ‘You’re a long time dead’ as the saying goes.

and you can do the same. Set up the activities in order of importance. Starting out on an important project will help you avoid stress and do it well.com . include all the MUST do’s in your list. the more important ones taking precedence over the less important. This also relates to the idea of proactively spending more time on important activities than on urgent ones.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty-five: dealing with procrastination Procrastination is putting off living your life now. Say you want to starg a business.whenever something came across her desk. you will most likely feel stressed and do a worse job. write it down or set up a spreadsheet. Prioritize. even if there is no deadline. but it can be a good idea if you habitualy procrastinate 58 effortlessabundance. I don’t use quite this approach myself. but not important enough to be worried about if not done. And. When you start a major project just the day of the deadline. one of my mentors told me about her ‘one touch’ approach . But we must not allow planning to become the primary focus of our life. When it does come to deadlines. No one is going to force you to do it . put them below the important ones. often by planning for the future. either herself or by delegation. Draw up a to-do list. weekly and daily must-do activities. These are things that must be done today. she dealt with it immediately. There’s nothing wrong with having a vision of course. some people seem to like stress. Wasn’t it John Lennon who said that life is what happens to you while you’re making other plans? These days I find it alot easier to get things done. it is still a necessary activity. Begin. Get into the habit of starting things before the deadline. Plan your monthly. The idea is based on the established principle that 80% of rewards come from 20% of effort directed towards accomplishing important work. If there are urgent things to do. I work in an environment where people are constantly talking about the future will look like and how they are going to make it happen. When I was a trainee teacher. Period. There are a few simple pointers to remember. 1. Steven Covey writes about this in his Seven Habits. preferably. Even if the deadline is a month from now. 2.you need to be a self-starter. Plan. Having said that we can get obsessed with planning. 3. but I’m not one of them.

You still have a lot of time to iron out the details. Just start working on the project or task on hand and don’t worry about getting it perfect. Of course.com 59 .Thirty Days to Change Your Life 4. You can learn more about getting rid of procrastination and how to manage your time to achieve all your goals by checking out the Time Manual. effortlessabundance. Start small. Trying to get everything right on first attempt is the best excuse used by procrastinators! Procrastination is a deadly disease and it not only kills motivation but also your chances of success. Stop procrastinating right now and start achieving your goals. what seems like huge mountain at first can be climbed one step at a time. Remember to start well before the deadline so you can focus on finishing the task and then ironing out the details. we can go into much more detail.

before anything else. In truth. building greater synergy and reaching higher peaks of personal and social achievement. we are the captains of our lives. integrating new learning and insight into our lives. our spouse. This foundation is twofold. We are in the driving seat.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty six: Live with integrity In The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.’ and must take responsibility for where we are in life. our business. in the words of A Course in Miracles. conditioned by our upbringing to respond automatically to our environment. To play the victim is to give away our very humanity. The sign of living an ineffective life is the abdication of responsibility to someone or something else. our freedom. our family. we are pulling our own strings. we are the creators of our own reality.com . 60 effortlessabundance. our ability to consciously orchestrate our own experience of life. we have been shaped by our childhood and those who were dominant in our lives at the time – we have learned to respond in certain ways to certain stimuli. So before all else. but it is a tragedy that so many of us go through life acting out the old scripts we learnt when we were young. Without practicing these habits we build our life on quicksand. Life does not happen to us. we need not fear change. there is a choice – we are not Pavlov’s dogs. you must have a good foundation. The key is. If we cannot get to this point. we can embrace it and use it creatively. consisting of ‘habits’ which constitute the cornerstone of our lives. Stephen Covey gives some timeless insights into living a truly effective life. One of the greatest human attributes is our freedom to choose our response – we are not robots! – and. or any of a million other things. uncertain tides of a complex and ever changing world. This foundation is a ‘private victory. family or any other area will either fail or be temporary and reversible. when we have this foundation. our background. ‘powerful beyond measure. our kids. we cannot make progress. as such. But when we have mastered ourselves. Between what goes on around us and how we respond. we need to realize that we are in control. blaming our past. With this power. our parents. and all our attempts at success in business. we happen to life.’ a self-mastery which comes before the success we aspire to achieve in our interdependent social environments – our work. we must accept that we are. What Are These Twin Foundations? First. comes responsibility. on the shifting. of course. Indeed. True.

What is missing here is the maxim.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Second. decay and death. houses.com 61 . and by valuing others. We possess them. by being generous. Things come our way – money. We can let go and.’ We reap what we sow. Much modern ‘self-help’ material emphasizes the cult of self. and if we sow the cult of self. let the mud and chaos of daily life settle and identify what really matters most to us. anything you want – the universe is a smorgasbord of delights and we need only choose our experience.’ we naturally need a compass to navigate through the world. To focus on self is to hang on. to become acquisitive and miserly and. effortlessabundance. a car. though this centre often changes as we are buffeted around by the changing course of our lives and as we react to the emotional demands made on us by our significant others. suggesting implicitly that. so long as it’s alright for you and it feels good. they do not give us satisfaction and lasting happiness. but unless we are anchored in a value based paradigm. and this is one thing we must do for ourselves – there are no ‘off the peg’ solutions here. in so doing. they do not possess us. and no number of self-help books and courses will do us any good unless we take this message to heart. All of us has a centre from which we operate. possessions. and all that – but we de not need to cling to them. the natural flow continues and more comes our way. cars. money or family as our centre. we reap isolation and defensiveness. then go for it! You can have money. a nice house or a great relationship. When we recognize that we are the ‘captain of our soul. these things are intrinsically good. ultimately. we can never truly achieve anything. goes around. This compass is a clear set of values. to cause stagnation. a great relationship. Mission Statements A mission statement is a good way to crystallize these values. By giving. we tap into the natural flow of the universe. ‘what comes around. We need a clear and constant paradigm out of which to operate. Far from it. we need a sense of direction. and the very act of writing such a document can force us to look deeply inside ourselves. Many of us inadvertently take work. But when they are achieved from an ego-centered paradigm. This statement gives us a centre around which to construct our life. The Ego The most pernicious of all centers is the self or the ego. This is true. guiding principles by which we live. to some extent – we do control our experiences and there is nothing wrong with money.

com . Real change. real growth is possible only with this foundation in place.Thirty Days to Change Your Life A knowledge of our own creative nature and a clear. make us successful. Without them. impotent and stationary. values based compass will not. but without them we cannot even begin. we will be like a ship caught between a thousand lighthouses. 62 effortlessabundance. not knowing which way to turn. in themselves.

We can assume manual control and take charge of our own experience of life.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty-seven: Be healthy Without your health. too! As with all things. The benefits of exercise are astonishing. you are there. Yes. Effortlessness is our natural state and. but out of a realization that to swim against the tide is tiring and futile – there is a grain to the universe and we should go with it. good health starts in the mind and then takes form in the real world . and within this gap lies all our happiness. Here are ten simple things anyone can do to make a real difference to your level of health and fitness. but we can unhook from our scripting and switch off the autopilot. but it is also immensely liberating and.’ This is a nice way of saying that life should not be a struggle. acting in a natural and easy way to achieve our goals. Steven Covey tells us that between stimulus and response there is a gap. You must decide to get up and do something! Live in ‘Easy World’ ‘Easy World’ is a phrase I have borrowed from Julia Rogers Hamrick. so you must pay attention to this area. she writes. This will build muscle and increase your metabolic rate. Between what happens around us and our response to it.com 63 . Realizing this can be frightening. The benefits of a low stress life are enormous and scientifically validated – those of us with less stress in our lives live longer. You will be less prone to diabetes and. your success or your relationships. healthier lives. Know that you are in control In The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People. we have been scripted through our childhood to respond automatically in certain ways to certain events.opportunities arise naturally and we must take them. Do some weights and then either some cardio or interval work. since your effortlessabundance. In her blog. you cannot enjoy your career. we should relax and go with the flow of things. whatever our circumstances. it is the fist step to a successful. there is a choice. ‘when you are in the Easy World reality. Exercise three times per week It’s vital that you take some time to exercise several times per week. Doing all thee simple things will probably add years to your life. harmony and ease prevail and things work out as if by magic’ and ‘as long as you relax and allow yourself to align with Easy World. not out of laziness and apathy. ultimately. abundant and healthy life.

Of course. One helpful suggestion for getting enough sleep is to always get up at the same time but to go to bed when you are tired. People who exercise regularly live several years longer than those who do no exercise. magnesium. Meditate Like sleep. One study recently suggested that the reason women live longer than men is because they sleep better. Nobody knows why nuts are so good for you. folic acid as well as manganese and plant sterols. dementia. Regular meditation can reduce back pain. and some less. 64 effortlessabundance. headaches and depression. It can lower blood pressure and boost the immune system. Eat a handful of mixed nuts every day Eating 30-60 grams of nuts per day can do wonders for your health.000 deaths are caused each year because of tired drivers. Nuts contain vitamin E. diabetes. They contain a lot of unsaturated fat and very little saturated fat. Nit eaters live two years longer than the rest of us. it promotes a relaxed and restful state of mind and helps with concentration and focus. It also increases your HDL (good) cholesterol and lowers your blood pressure. it lowers your risk of colon cancer. macular degeneration and heart disease. boron. People who don’t get enough sleep have twice the risk of being injured at work and The National Highway Traffic Safety Administration estimates that 100. it makes you feel groggy and tired. taking time regularly to relax and unwind is very beneficial to health.com . and nut eaters do not put on weight from consumption of nuts. but eating them regularly will do wonders for you. How much sleep you need is a very individual thing. but it also affects your memory and cognitive functioning – your ability to process information. but not getting enough can damage your health and even reduce your life expectancy. Sort out your sleeping habits Not getting enough sleep gives you a poorer quality of life. above all. but by doing this you will always get the amount of sleep you need.Thirty Days to Change Your Life gastrointestinal transit time will be reduced. according to a recent study. Exercise strengthens bone making you les prone to osteoporosis and you will also be less likely to suffer lower back pain. It can help improve sleep quality and. Some days you will get more sleep. copper. Regularly eating nuts reduces the risk of stroke.

Even on days when you do drink coffee. and even better news is that salad dressing contains chemicals which help the body absorb cancer-fighting nutrients called free radical scavengers more effectively. I don’t binge. Try to go for less refined sugars. green leafy vegetables (not iceberg lettuce which doesn’t contain much by way of nutrients).8 and 3. honey and. Salad provides many important vitamins and minerals. Coming down from a ‘sugar high’ can make you really tired.1 years longer. However. so staying away from sugar can keep you alert. I have found personally that it is just a lot easier to be very clearcut and decide that you will never drink under any circumstances. but I allow myself a small amount of chocolate or desert. especially. So you’ll need to wait a couple more years before getting your reward in paradise! effortlessabundance. Cut down sugar and caffeine Again. Stop drinking alcohol The health benefits of drinking small amounts of alcohol on a regular basis have been well documented.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Eat a salad every day A recent study by the UCLA School of Public Health/LSU Health Sciences Center found that eating a salad every day has significant health benefits (as if we didn’t know already!) Try to go for a mixture of dark. Go to church! Recent research has shown that people who attend church or some other form of corporate religious activity on a regular basis live between 1.com 65 . I also recommend having ‘caffeine-free’ days. but it’s worth cutting down on refined sugar and caffeine. such as those found in fruit. Of course. but a black and white rule makes life a lot easier. tea and coke. when I allow myself to eat sugar. you need not be too evangelical about this – eating a tiramisu or some brandy sauce won’t hurt you. Once or twice a week I will have a sugar day. most people who drink alcohol tend to drink too much and there are many negative health effects of this kind of drinking. I have found that having ‘sugar-free’ days to be a very useful way of cutting back. too. This will improve your quality of sleep and make you less tense. maple syrup. only have one or two cups. you probably don’t want to be too evangelical about this.

66 effortlessabundance. To some people. which contains subliminal messages to reinforce the hypnotic suggestions. We have been conditioned since childhood to see the world in a certain way. I have personally used these and can attest to their effectiveness. Affirmations and visualizations are good. is then susceptible to suggestion. But when we relax. as we drift off to sleep. It is fairly easy to put yourself into a trance state and make hypnotic suggestions to yourself. You can download these from the Internet for a few dollars or buy them from a shop. subconscious level have been scripted into us by a process of which we are largely unaware. we enter another kind of consciousness called ‘alpha.com . Like anything. In the alpha state.’ This is a different state. and the beliefs under which we operate at a deep. hypnosis might conjure up images of stage shows or thoughts of people being forced to do crazy things against their will. hypnosis can be abused. Personally I like to use hypnosis scripts on CDs and MP3s. So do you need to go and make an appointment with a professional hypnotherapist? Well you can do. The subconscious. Normally. when we daydream.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty-eight: Hypnosis It is my belief that hypnosis is the most powerful technique for changing our subconscious programming. If we are to seriously change our experience of life. but in fact it is the most natural and normal thing in the world. our conscious mind is less to the fore. But there is a lot you can do to without the help of such a person. and we can take advantage of this openness to introduce new beliefs directly into our mind. where all our beliefs and scripting lie. The best products have music. sometimes called a ‘trance. You can also record your own scripts. our mind is in a state called ‘beta’ – quite active.’ Hypnosis is simply the deliberate induction of this trance state. with the conscious part of the mind in the driving seat. and our subconscious is able to take over to a much greater extent. and if you have serious problems I would suggest you seek out a properly qualified therapist. Even a very light alpha state will have benefits. but in hypnosis we can go more deeply and directly to the place we need to work on. then hypnosis is a must.

everyone must carry out a concrete assignment that demands fulfillment. But the action must be easy. It starts dancing to your tune – it becomes your puppet.com 67 . our self-talk and visualizations. Our future depends on what we are thinking about right now. To do a job you hate is to swim against the tide. the whole world comes alive. And action can only be effortless when you are ‘in the flow’ of the universal stream. When you are doing the thing you love.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day twenty-nine: Take action Everyone has his own specific vocation or mission in life. we should dwell on thoughts about the things we love and trust the universe to take care of it. Taking action is important – without it you will probably never achieve anything. But every moment is a new beginning. So to create the life we desire. Viktor Frankl When you do what you love. everyone’s task is unique as his specific opportunity to implement it. effortless even. nor can his life be repeated. effortlessabundance. Therein he cannot be replaced. to get up every day and go to a job you feel no enthusiasm for is a waste of life. thus. The way we are now is a result of our past thoughts. you will naturally draw the right people and resources towards yourself to ensure that you accomplish your goals.

partner. said that 'life has the meaning we give it -. a big car. and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. 68 effortlessabundance. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. The term ‘service’ may suggest that we have to give up our jobs and money to go help the poor and destitute. Albert Einstein said that ‘only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile. our enthusiasm. Loving what you do means starting right here. When we truly add value to the lives of others. an attractive spouse.’ Through Apple. Love what you do So the question remains: How can we add value? I believe the answer to this is surprisingly simple. property. the great Portuguese writer. But a life of adding value does not mean abandoning your own needs and desires. Adding value is the only real way to live a meaningful life. keep looking.com . It is not the same as sacrifice. right now. I believe that meaning can only be found in the way we add something to the world. He did it by following his heart and has been richly rewarded for it. successful and wealthy people.’ The search for meaning is a constant theme in our lives and we try to find it in many different ways. To quote Steve Jobs in a speech he gave in 2005: ‘Your work is going to fill a large part of your life. Steve Jobs has undoubtedly added immense value to the world. our pride -. If you haven’t found it yet. But in the end.our richness.… But I’m sure most people would agree that these things in themselves do not add lasting and profound meaning to us. a successful career. we cannot help but receive value ourselves. Whatever you are doing. What is adding value? Ask 100 people what they think gives meaning to their lives and you will get 100 different responses. you can start to love it.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Day thirty: The meaning of life Miguel Torga. far from it. and they have certainly found happiness and peace in their choice of lifestyle. I know several people who have done just this. Money. The same can be said for many famous.or our cowardice.’ and I believe that a life of service to others is what truly brings meaning.

making them more central to your experience. The careers of 1. effortlessabundance. and group B said they would follow their interests first. Mark Albion cites a study carried out by Srully Blotnick. In Making a Life. In fact. You don’t have to quit your dull nine-to-five job and start all over again. Making a Living. And the things you don’t like? Can you find any redeeming qualitative in these things? Can you change your attitude so that you see these tasks as useful or meaningful? If you can start to love what you’re doing. Steve Jobs didn’t say do what you love. if you hate your job so much then you probably ought to leave. But it’s unlikely that there is no aspect of your job that you like.Thirty Days to Change Your Life Of course. there were 101 millionaires. regardless of financial considerations. But doing what you truly love certainly has its rewards.500 business school graduates were tracked from 1969 to 1980 and were split into two groups: group A said they wanted to make money first so they could do what they really wanted later.com 69 . He said love what you do. The trick is to identify these good bits and focus on them. you’re not suddenly going to love a job you’ve hated for years. All but one came from group B. At the end of the study. Do What You Love Interestingly. then you’ll be adding value in some way.

amidst the simple beauty of nature ~Anne Frank Gratefulness is the key to a happy life that we hold in our hands. life cannot be reduced to a formula or a quotation. alone with the heavens. and I hope it amused. So the most important question remains and only you can answer it – what is happiness? 70 effortlessabundance. It won’t change your life. Only one thing can do that – your own decision to keep improving. of course. lonely or unhappy is to go outside. nature and God. Because only then does one feel that all is as it should be and that God wishes to see people happy.com . You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life ~Albert Camus I don't know what your destiny will be. That’s why I’m going to end with a selection of my favorite quotes about happiness from my favorite famous people. I encourage you to learn a little more every day – improve slightly every day and soon the dripping tap will have filled the bucket. because if we are not grateful.Thirty Days to Change Your Life A final word: Real happiness I hope you have learned something from this little book. but one thing I do know: the only ones among you who will be really happy are those who have sought and found how to serve ~Albert Schweitzer The best remedy for those who are afraid. We can learn a lot from other people. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life. entertained or enriched you in some small way. then no matter how much we have we will not be happy -.because we will always want to have something else or something more ~Brother David Steindl-Rast In the end. somewhere where they can be quiet. It was a labor of love. the whole aim and end of human existence ~Aristotle You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of.

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