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Text From Victor Borge’s Phonetic Punctuation

Then in 1940 I luckily arrived in the United States unable to speak a word of English, which I found to be a handicap since most people over here do. And I tried to learn the language as best I could and as time went along I picked up a few words here and there… mostly there cause I hadn’t been here yet. But I found that people who speak English sometimes do not understand each other to well due to the fact that they do not use punctuation marks when they talk, and that is why I invented phonetic punctuation. Which means that while we talk we will integrate punctuation marks by giving them sounds so that we can underline our sentences as well when we speak as when we read and or write. I’ll teach you the system… A period sounds like this.. putt. Here is a dash An explanation mark is a vertical dash with a period underneath. Here is a comma Quotation is two commas… If you happen to be left handed.. A question mark is rather difficult… Finally the colon, two little dots you can have them either over or under each other… that is the sound of the colon. I have a book here and I’m going to read a short story so you can hear how the system really sounds. This book was written by shakesphere… Johanne Sebastian Shakesphere This is a pick pocket edition by the way….

In the open window there suddenly came light.I have a short story right here in the beginning of the book (turn many pages) …. my maiden:::. Beautiful Eleanor sat alone dreaming of but one thing! Two years had passed. when her father had thrown him out.. “Well.” Suddenly he was gone. They had been sitting in the park and Henry had said: “Darling! Is this the first time you have loved?” She answered. since she met Sir Henry. He answered. Hum. :”Henry! What is love?” she asked.……. embraced.. It was he. She could still remember the unhappy evening. And all she hoird (heard) was the familiar sound of his departing horse (no period) . She asked. Ah here it is on page two. I couldn’t live without it!” . “Yes – but it is wonderful. “Where have all your thoughts been this while?” He answered. kissed and caressed her. “With thee. and I hope it will not be the last!” – Its getting a little messy (clean book) Suddenly she heard a well known sound. In two strides he was near her.