This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
RDI PRINT & PUBLISHING LTD.
and this book a collection of the best jokes from all over is it. Youll become their favourite physician. friends and colleagues. It cannot be sold by any party. This book is guaranteed to keep you in good humour for a long time to come. Laser Typesetting by Aqeel Associates. Adi Marzban Path. This booklet is offered free of cost to select readers of Reader’s Digest. nor used for any commercial purpose whatsoever. stall or retail outlet. Phones : 2309 0621 / 2301 0452 . Manipal. Mumbai 400 011. But we sometimes need an extra-large booster to get into really great shape. Mumbai 400 001 and printed by him at Manipal Press Limited.Published in India by Ashok Mahadevan for RDI Print and Publishing Ltd from (Regd Office) Orient House. But dont keep its benefits to yourself tell them to your family. nor displayed in any bookshop. Preface L aughter the best medicine is a term coined by Readers Digest and we deliver small doses in every issue of the magazine.
In the train. ef Maid: What do you want. Finally. Seeing this. Overheard at the veterinarians: I had my cat neutered. one of the engineers got out of the toilet and walked to one where the lawyers were hiding. Maid: Whats your business. To their astonishment. Ticket.Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. please? Visitor: There is a bill. He knocked on the door and said. the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. replied the guide. but now hes a consultant. he admired the architecture and asked how many years it took to build. You Indians are a lazy lot. each lawyer bought a ticket whereas the engineers bought only one ticket between them. Visitor: Which I have to pay him. Maid: And he returned this morning. Maid: Ah! He left yesterday for his village. In this fashion the tourist claimed that every building he admired could have been built in his country in quarter the time. Shortly after the train started. In my country. the tourist said. Ticket please.. please. When they boarded the train. this could have been built in five. The tourist retorted: You Indians are slow! We can construct such buildings in two-and-a-half.. the ticket collector arrived. they bought only one ticket. when they reached the Qutab Minar. At the Red Fort at Delhi. J J J 5 eee 6 . answered an engineer. Twenty years. It wasnt there yesterday evening. So when they got to the station. the guide replied: I dont know. Wait and watch. Soon after the train started. The ticket collector took it and moved on. At the station. Men who treat women as helpless and charming playthings deserve women who treat men as delightful and generous bank accounts.. sir? Visitor: I want to see your master. The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. A foreign tourist hired a guide to take him around Delhi and Agra. the lawyers decided to the same thing on the return trip. How are you going to travel without a ticket? asked one of the perplexed lawyers. said the guide. Only ten years.. the lawyers took their seats. and the tourist asked what it was. He knocked on the toilet door and asked.. but the thre e engineers crammed into a toilet and closed the door behind them. Wait and watch. How are you going to travel on a single ticket? asked a lawyer. the engineers didnt buy any. At Agra he admired the Tajs beauty and asked how many years it took to build. Hes still out all night with the other cats. answered one of the engineers..
How come? asked the mother. the driver assured him. Not at all. Be careful. because he knew too much. Ive been having terrible obsessions for years. Werent you afraid? one of the workers asked the boy. Hes an idiot. A small farm boy was milking his cow when all of a sudden a bull came charging towards him. darling. Youll bring out the beast in me. To come and see you. So what? his wife shot back. Whos afraid of a mouse? Overheard: I can say one good thing about airline food: at least theyre considerate enough to give you only small portions. Two terrorists were driving to the location where they intended to plant a bomb. saying: Your salary is already higher than that of the secretary at the next desk. Its so cute and smalland your voice sounds so clear. and hubby was losing his temper. Whos been treating you until now? Dr Lal Rathor. I heard that that someone was shot dead. he husband said. ooo B oy to mother: Ive decided to stop studying. the boy replied . he turned her down. he said to his wife. She was thrilled and listened eagerly as he explained all its features. and no one has ever been able to help me. J J J 7 8 . I see. a man bought his young wife a cell phone. The next day she was out shopping when the phone rang. the efficient woman replied. Hey. A patient complains to a famous psychologist: Professor. turned around and walked away . To everyones astonishment. we have got a spare one in the boot. I knew this cow was his mother-in-law. Drive a little faster. said the man carrying the explosive. or their first anniversary. the boy calmly continued his milking. the bull stopped a few inches from the boy. Im curious to know what he advised you to do.W hen an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary. I just love it! she gushed. Whats that? How did you know I was at the sari shop? F ef ef Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel. I thought we got paid for what we produce herenot for what we produce at home in our own time. the bomb may go off any minute. As horrified workers nearby watched. But theres just one thing I dont understand. Excuse me. How do you like your new phone? Oh. And she has five children. which one of them had in his lap. Dont worry.
I can drive. The police officer got out. give me my money! eee O ne man to another. dont worry. You cant do thisIm a politician! In that case. The lift will be down presently. and ninety. I will give you the maximum sentence. Whats next best? ef An old man gives good advice in order to console himself for no longer being able to set a bad example. sirens blaring. Im very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver. His cars speed rose to sixty. replied the robber. Mister. Give me a good excuse and Ill let you go. Oh. said the patient. get to bed early and stay away from women. you Honour. No ticket. Nine? In this case. When I saw your car in my mirror. Elevators were invented in the States. and I just want to go home. leaned over the man and said: Listen. he demanded. Maximum sentence? said the defendant. I dont deserve the best. Dont you give your regular clients a discount eee Late one night. eee A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked. Perhaps. The doctor had just finished giving the young man a thorough physical examination. you mean the elevator. The lift? said the American. The man thought for a moment and said: Three weeks ago my wife ran off with a police officer. a woman wholl make me happy. the receptionist told him. replied the Englishman. a good woman. Give me your money. Doctor. I think I should know what it is called. said the friend to the old man. I want to marry a smart woman. a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. what the heck. Finally. Make up your mind. I thought you were that officer and were trying to give her back to me.Le Rochefoucauld 9 10 . then seventy. . eighty. is give up drinking and smoking. I have had a really lousy day. The best thing for you to do. ready to receive a speeding ticket. the man thought. Oh. ef J J J An American visiting England walked into a hotel lobby. But we invented the language. I mean the lift. Indignant. the man pushed his accelerator to the floor. Thinking hed outpace the cop. retorted the Englishman. said the American. the doctor said. How many times have you been imprisoned? Nine. the affluent man replied.A man was driving well above the speed limit when a police car suddenly emerged from behind. and pulled over. No.
well. S taying at a small-town hotel. the computer answered: Remove the top and bottom steps. Asked how accidents could be reduced. Did you have a friend you cared for? No. What took you so long to get here? asked a surprised St. I really go for you in a big way. My mother helps me. Not a single one. He looked puzzled. 11 12 . he said. Excuse me. Finally. dont stir it then. he replied finally. But. Oh. How do you spell it? he replied. I meant the next baby! ooo A man who had just died. replied the drunk. Look sweetheart. said the woman sitting next to him. isnt it? crowed the drunk. But I am dancing as fast as I can. a girl threw open the door. said the woman. Sugar in your tea? she shouted.A rather inebriated fellow on a bus was tearing up a newspaper into tiny pieces and throwing them out the window. thank you. I didnt mean the next diaper. he said. she protested wide-eyed. Id sure like to speed like to speed things up between us. St. J J J After they had brought their first baby home from hospital. Effective. and tremendous pressure was exerted on him to retract the statement. A young soldier who was on a twenty four-hour pass went to a dance in town and there met an attractive young woman. Peter. The Duke of Gloucester. A small Indian boy appeared in the class of a London schoolteacher for the first time and she asked him his name. No. speaking at a luncheon in London: A home accidents survey which showed that ninety percent of accidents on staircases involved either the top or the bottom step. Ill do the next one. He finally succumbed to the pressure and ran an apology with the headline: HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE NOT CROOKS. Venkataratnam Narasimha Rattaiah. The next time the baby was wet. Shortly afterwards. But I dont have much time. Tom replied. ooo The editor of a small weekly newspaper. But I dont see any elephants around here. annoyed at legislation that had eee recently been passed. he said. he kept making passes at her but without much result. the man replied. As they danced. arrived at heavens gate. When she asked. Youve been dead for ages. Ah. Many prominent local politicians were outraged. Perhaps you loved a pet? Did you not feel a love for nature? No. would you mind explaining why youre doing this? It scares away the elephants. Tom ordered tea. a young wife suggested to her husband that he try his hand at changing diapers. she asked if he was now ready to learn how to change diapers. Im busy. No. I have to be back in the morning. ran a scathing editorial under the headline: HALF OF OUR LEGISLATORS ARE CROOKS. was fed into a computer. Before allowing him entry. Peter asked him if hed ever loved a woman.
And on hearing the voice at the other end. I will show you what exasperation is! He dialled once again. said Ernies father. But watch this! He then dialled the number again. Thanking God. But the devotees gave him very little. while his father was trying to read. I told you there is no Melvin here! You have got a lot of nerve calling again! Did you hear that? Ernies father asked.. I love you. What is the difference between anger and exasperation? Well. and so here I am. I. slammed his newspaper on the floor and yelled. many dropped rupee notes in his bowl. Bhagwan will bless you. the beggar said: Hey Bhagwan. and says. That man was not at all happy with our call. In disgust the beggar left the temple and sat outside a country liquor shop. Hello. He never knew what they expected to hear. In the name of Bhagwan give before choosing a melon.Little Ernie was having a problem with his homework. where there is a way. snapped his wife. Then he jumped up. the man replied.. Johnnys father listened to the dog and the violin for as long as he could. As customers came out of the shop in high spirits. and. cant you play something the dog doesnt know? 14 L . son. shoppers would hold the fruit upto their ears and knock on it. The family dog was at there too. That was anger. he whined. Annoyed wife to husband: Cant you say weve been married twenty-four years instead of almost a quarter of a century? ef The sign on the door of a lawyers chamber reads: Where there is a will. Hello. For Gods sake. A poor man sat begging outside a temple. One day he asked a shopper. began to howl. All I know is that if you just pick up a melon and put it your bag. there is a rule. Is Melvin there? There is no one called Melvin here! the voice replied. J J there is a way. truly inscrutable are thy ways! You give one address but live in another. he cried. ooo 13 ittle Johnny was practising the violin in the living room. there is a lawyer.. said his father.. Hello. Son. Ernies father said: Hello! This is Melvin. Have there been any calls for me? Husband to wife as they emerge from a long session with a marriage guidance counsellor: Darling.. where there is law. When Paul was working as a salesman at a supermarket. Now.again. His father picked up the phone and dialled a number. Ive been doing this for forty years. A few paise in the name of Bhagwan. he noticed that this hungry man some money to fill his belly.I. Dad. on hearing the screeching sounds. Why dont you look up numbers before you dial them? You see? said Ernies father.I. he asked. There you go again. where there is a loophole. is Melvin there? Now look here! the voice said angrily. there is a loophole. where there is a rule. everybody looks at you as if youre crazy.. said a voice at the other end. Ill give you a practical demonstration. there is law.
Anton Chekov The world is a comedy to those who think. make Naples the capital of Italy. eee D octor: Shall I gave your wife a local anaesthetic? Businessman: Certainly not.. He is the only chap I know who can make a diagnosis without asking questions. But the old man didnt answer. I can afford something imported. I hope you wiped your shoes on the doormat while coming in? Back came the rejoinder. ooo Adoctor was called in to see a rather testy aristocrat.. . I see. Well. A traveller walking along a road asked an old man working in a field to how long it would take to get to the next village. sir. As the van driver put down the last box in her second-floor flat. a tragedy to those who feel. lady. Said the boss One thing our company is very particular about is cleanliness. itll take you about 20 minutes. sir. growled the patient. How did I know how fast you were going to walk? replied the old man. if youll excuse me for an hour or so Ill go along and fetch a friend of mine . friendship. Love. And Sonu replied: Because. mister.. Mummy? So youre beginning to wonder.An eager young man entered his prospective bosss cabin for an interview. so the traveller kept walking. Yes. whats the matter? he asked cheerily. He hadnt gone far when he heard a call: Hi.a veterinarian. the young man replied promptly. and respect do not unite a people as much as a common hatred of something. Why didnt you tell me that when I asked you? asked the traveller. Why do you want God to make Naples the capital of Italy? Sonus mother asked. Well. he grumbled. that is what I put in my Geography exam! Customer: Why are the signs in your window so full of spelling and grammatical mistakes? Storekeeper: So that people will think Im a fool and come in expecting to get the best of me. business has boomed. One more thing were very particular about is honesty. Make Naples the capital of Italy. too! 16 15 .Horace Walpole W hat made you marry Daddy. Since I put up those signs... That. is for you to find out. There is no doormat outside! A teacher had just moved house with all her possessions including box after box of books. .. For Heavens sake. said the doctor thought-fully. sir. why didnt you read them before you came? J ooo S onu was saying her bedtime prayers: Please God..
The examiner told him to come back the next morning. Pretty well. Have you weighed your little boy? A son. but doesnt that shows how much in demand I am? M eee salesman was dismissed because he was rude to a customer. replied his dad. said the youngest kid. This is the job Ive been looking for all my life. bursting into tears. said the sales manager. Mother: I sent my little boy for one kilo of plums and you only sent 800 grams.Yes. They have already got me working on a case. Oh. W hy do they call the language we speak our mother-tongue? asked the ef Because fathers so seldom gets a chance to use it. the examiner decided to go easy on him with the oral test. 17 ooo When I eventually met Mr Right. how did it go? Did you get the job?. Bhatnagar. the hour soon passes. he replied. . I think . asked the examiner. ask a woman. Yes. Its all right. I see youve joined the force. A month later the sales manager spotted him walking about in a police uniform. Applicant . What didnt he have? All As on his report card. I had no idea his first name was Always. examination. . sir.Margaret Thatcher 18 . I think so. anager . A not-too-bright candidate for the police force failed in the written Who shot Abraham Lincoln?. Its not fair. Sir. his wife asked. said Mrs. The candidate pondered for a moment and then asked if he could have sometime to come up with the answer. The mother of many children lined up her family.M y father wants me to have everything he did not have when he was a boy. madam. if you want anything said. You poor thing. if you want anything done. Daddyll win easily.Rita Rudner In politics.? Mrs. The one who obeys me immediately and does exactly as hes told without arguing will get a rupee at the end of the week. Grocer: My scales are all right. Well. Here the customer is always wrong. When the would-be recruit went home. ask a man. Since he was the Chiefs nephew.he works so hard I see him for only about an hour each day. Mathur asked her friend. eee Hows your husband.From your references I see youve had four jobs in the last month. Mathur.
the tourist said to the mountaineer. then checked his records. Accused: That is what I tried to tell these policemen.but two in a row is too much! W hat is your age? asked the Judge.Samuel Butler . Steno : Why.Oscar Wilde ef Thats the trouble with being greeted Have a nice day! it puts all the pressure on you. your Honour. Then it wasnt my son. The employee stormed angrily into the cashiers office. Your son just threw a rock at me as I passed by. Do you ever cheat on your wife? Who else? ooo B oss : You should have been here at 8 Oclock. eee The famous film actor was being analyzed. and ends by blocking his retreat. You didnt complain then.George Carlin You can always tell when a man is well informed. . The love that lasts longest is the love which is never returned.Somerset Maugham 19 20 . replied the other. Im not. did you? Look said the employee. How many months? the Judge persisted. Last week we paid you a dollar more. . One hundred and eight. but they would not believe me. An occasional mistake I can overlook . Did it hit you? No. I told you that I didnt want to see you here again. Twenty-one years and some months. .Louis Morris Life is one long process of getting tired.J udge: The last time I saw you. His views are pretty much like your own. Remember you are under oath. Whats the meaning of this? I just counted my pay and its a dollar short! The cashier examined the envelope. asked the psychoanalyst. . Im judging by disappearances! Hey. Said one: I fear that young man I employed last week as a cashier is dishonest. J J Two employers were talking. Oh. the woman answered. Tell me. what happened? Woman begins by resisting a mans advances. you shouldnt judge by appearances.
. Undaunted. The little man walked to one side of the queue and said: If thats your attitude. Father: Youre no good. ooo Teacher : You missed school yesterday. of course. She: Because no matter how stupid a man is. all progress depends on the unreasonable man. the little man went to the head of the queue again. Angry women elbowed and pushed him until he was right at the back of the line. no clothes to wear and only one apple between them . with sweeping reductions. Chemistry Teacher: Can you give me the formula for water? Student: H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-. She: How do you know? He: Ive asked them.m. J He: I wonder why women pay more attention to beauty than to brains. Father: Would you still love my daughter even if she were poor? Suitor: Of course. Chemistry Teacher: Where did you get an idea like that? Student: You told us the other day it was H to O. didnt you? Pupil: Not a bit. they never forgive the loss of their prerogative. .and they called it Paradise. An enormous queue had started to form by 7-30 a. he was shoved unceremoniously to the back. Just before the shop was due to open. starting at 9 a. Teacher: And how ho you know they were Indian? Pupil: Easy. an inconspicuous little man walked to the head of the queue. Teacher: And what nationality were they? Pupil: Indian. Therefore. I wont open the shop at all today! Teacher: Who were the first human beings? Pupil: Adam and Eve. Once more. he is seldom blind. this time with a few smacks on the face and a couple of thumps from umbrellas wielded by angry women. the unreasonable persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. ef He: There are an awful lot of girls who dont want to get married.George Bernard Shaw ooo When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They had no roof over their heads.A large notice in a shop window announced a big sale.H L Mencken 21 22 . We dont want fools in our family.m. ef The reasonable man adapts himself to the world.
I once knew the twenty-year-old daughter of a Hollywood film actress who kept getting depressed because she didnt look as young as her mother. Dont you recognize me? he asked. It reminds me of the winter of 2057. replied the Pope. said the Pope. A tea manufacturer wanted a new advertising gimmick. The aging actor was trying to chat up the gorgeous young girl. . so the senior creative man at the advertising agency decided to go to Rome to see if he could persuade the Pope to make a TV commercial. One million pounds. Im quite well known in the movies. All right.Margaret Mead 23 24 . Two astrologers met each other in the street on a particularly cold and bitter day. solemnly. Five hundred thousand. Im afraid not. On his way back. Terrible winter were having. muttered one. But still the Pope refused. . and men are working hard to be as mediocre as possible. he continued. the ad man told the pontiff. She shook her head. replied the other. All you have say is: Give us this day our daily tea. Im sorry. But I shouldnt worry too much hell probably change for the better as he gets older. Yes. Oh! she said. ooo Pretty young girl: If I go up to your room do you promise to be good? Young man: Why I promise to be FANTASTIC! The proud mother was showing off her new baby to her friend. but I cant do that. And thats our very last offer. her eyes lighting up. Where do you usually sit? eee The main difference between men and boys is that mens toys cost more money. I wonder how much the bread people are giving him. Yes. ooo If an artist becomes angry does he lose his temperas? ef Let no one suppose the words doctor and patient can disguise from the parties the fact they are employer and employee. replied the friend. offered the adman. .Abba Eban J J J Women want mediocre men. Doesnt he look just like his father? asked the mother.George Bernard Shaw History teaches us that men and nations live wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives. disappointed adman turned to his secretary and said: Its odd that the Pope refused to do a commercial for tea. Well give you one hundred thousand pounds for a ten second commercial.
of the car blue. I keep asking her but I cant understand a word she says. ef One day Claude came home from work to find his wife painting one side Customer: Id like to buy a novel. Sally: I know. Mother: When did that happen? Sally: About twenty minutes ago. You know Ive had so many accidents and I always get caught due to the statements of the witnesses in court. Earlier. sir. and then one man said. At the company board meeting the chairman rose to make his speech. said the chairman. I thought youd gone out. said the Chairman. I was hoping you could suggest something suitable. please. Bookshop assistant: Certainly. Do you have the title or name of the author? Customer: Not really. This was met with silence. sir. Whos been carrying on with my secretary? he demanded. Simple! she replied. You sack her. madam. Do you like light or heavy reading? Customer: It doesnt matter. Thanks for getting me out of that terrible chore. Right. Shed divided the car neatly in half and had already painted the other side bright yellow. Mother: Why are you crying? Sally: Because I fell and hurt myself. then. eee 25 eee 26 . self-consciously: Me. put it this way who has not been carrying on with my secretary? Again there was silence. Now. What on earth are you doing? asked Claude. All right. Mother: But youve only just started crying. if I have an accident. Bookshop assistant: No problem. you watch them fight it out trying to decide what colour car caused the accident! J J Office worker: Sir? Boss: Yes? What is it now? Office worker: Please can I have a day off next week to do some late Christmas shopping with my wife and our six kids? Boss: Certainly not! Office worker: I knew youd be understanding.The elderly aunt bent down and asked her three-year-old nephew: Can you tell me the name of your new baby sister? The little boy shook his head sadly and replied: I dont know what it is. Ive left the car just outside the shop. My wifes best friend has just celebrated the twentieth anniversary of her twenty-ninth birthday.
gamble. Doctor: Nurse! Did you take this patients temperature? Nurse: Why. Vice versa: dirty poems.Thats a nice suit youre wearing who went for the fitting? J udge: How do you plead? Guilty or not guilty? Prisoner: How do I know. or play around with women? Patient: Certainly not! Doctor: Then what do you want to live to a hundred for? Dogma: the mother of puppies. Should I give him a sedative? Doctor: No. Teacher: Everything you do is wrong. Doctors wife: So why are you so worried? Doctor: Ive given him so many pills and potions I cant work out which one worked. ef Patient: Doctor. sir! Im going to be a TV weatherman. do you think that I will live until Im a hundred? Doctor: Do you smoke or drink? Patient: No. Doctor: Do you drive fast cars. ef Pretty young nurse: Doctor. Ultimate: the last person to marry. your honour? I havent heard the evidence yet. J B uoyant: male equivalent of gallant. every time I take this young mans pulse it gets faster. How can you expect to get a job when you leave school Pupil: Well. B acteria: the back entrance to a cafeteria. doctor? Is it missing? eee 27 28 . ooo ooo Doctors wife: Why are you looking so worried. dear? Doctor: I think Ive at last cured that Smith fellow. Just give him a blindfold.
Fred was unable to make the parrot talk let alone tell jokes. 30 eee The frantic-looking lady came rushing out of her house into the street and cried: Help! Help! My young son has swallowed a coin and is choking. said a small girl. At last he felt ready to cash in on all his hard work. Shush! whispered the little boy. if your husband suddenly dropped dead. Oh. turned him upside down and shook him until the coin fell out of his mouth. Im sorry. what would you do? Mrs Smith: Id probably get a pet dog instead. But what did you want all the other creatures for? asked the pet shop manager. replied the middle-aged man. You poor little boy. Insurance salesman: Surely your husband needs more life insurance? I mean. but it tastes like dishwater. This is my incredible joke-telling parrot. Go on . replied Fred. ooo M ummy. jeered the pub regulars. And my landlord says I must leave the place exactly as I found it. to tell jokes. I know where she is. He had trained his parrot. Im from the Income Tax Department. replied the young man. 18 rats and five mice. Mummy! Where are you? cried the little boy on the promenade. Well give you ten to one that your parrot cant tell us a joke. All right. and I want a third! ef Fred at last could see a way of making a fortune. Come with me and Ill get you an ice cream and then well go and look for your mummy.Estate agent to young house-hunting couple: First you tell me what you can afford. Mrs Bloggs: How do you know? The young man walked into the pet shop and asked if he could buy 387 beetles. I dont know what to do! Everyone looked the other way. I accept your bet. Tomorrow youll be able to get fifty to one. except for a middle-aged gentleman who rushed into the ladys house. 29 . I was thrown out of my flat this morning. and took the parrot down to his pub. boasted Fred. ef Is a drunken ghost a methylated spirit? J J J eee Mr Bloggs: Darling. I know where your mummy is. after month of hard work. too. Are you a doctor? No madam. thank you! cried the lady. Then well have a good laugh about it and go on from there. sir. But try as he could. found her young son. On the way home Fred shook the bird and shouted: What do you mean by keeping quiet? You made me lose a ten to one bet! Dont worry! squawked the parrot. I dont know what you put in this soup. said an elderly lady. but Ive managed to get two free ice creams this morning. but we can only supply the mice.
officer. the teachers are terrible. its siren blaring. can you tell me which month is the shortest? Mavis: Its May. February has eight letters in it while May only has three! A lifelong Socialist was dying when he suddenly decided to join the Tory party. Mavis: But. and its all extremely boring. he replied.Al Capone Wealth is like sea water. .Hilary: Youre the first man Ive ever said yes to. replied the driver. The shortest month is February. taking out his notebook and pen. shook his head and said: Ill just give you a warning this time dont break the speed limit again. I want to stay home. Teacher: No. replied Alberts mother. The policeman thought for a moment. protested Albert. . But I dont want to go. But.Schopenhauer ooo If a plug would not fit. ooo You can get a lot more done with a kind word and gun. Youve been a staunch Socialist all your life. would you socket? 31 32 . miss. Id rather it was a Tory that died than a Socialist. sir. But why? asked his puzzled friends. A heavily built policeman got out and walked over. then looked at his notebook. G et up. than you can with a kind word alone. Well. youre forty-three and the headmaster of the school. the more we drink. Customer: Then can you assure me that youre using the right bait? The police car. but we are trying to hurry it up for you. it isnt. eee eee Teacher: Mavis. please? asked the policeman. Its Horatio Xerxes Laertes Idomeneus Aeneas Asclepius Iphicles Menoeceus Memnon Philoctetes Tyndareus Hylas. Certainly. Herbert: What were they selling? Customer: Waiter! How much longer do you expect me to have to wait for my poached salmon? Waiter: Im sorry. All the kids are horrible. shouted Alberts mother. raced in front of a speeding car and forced it to stop. the same is true of fame. the thirstier we become. miss. Youll be late for school. In fact. You name. Ive said no to lots and lots of men.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue listening from where you left off, or restart the preview.