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the notches inyour spine started locking prayers into the ribcage in the sky on the day your mom died there were clouds of crystal rainstorms bathroom windows you were 13 years old protruding adolescent hips needles in your wrists death on your tongue and I, in the womb you, and your soul dressed in purple and gold scattered her lifelines with your breath wove through ghosts and fireflies tonight, they are acting like vultures violently swallowing the sculptures we became the gallows of our pain cigarettes fingernails and textbook is your first name I am your library ~

..

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I met the saddest people I've ever known in a black hole at a Hiroshima train station a Harajuku fairytale lived through a broken windshield you were never afraid until nuclear love affairs became lost faces aging into places were Molotov cocktails crept up 12 story methlabs trickled down your spine tied you to the tracks now you became a drum, hands pounding on the junkie stars glowing in your chest and bellies of birthdays weighing in at 87 " you hadn't slept in a month you hadn't measured the jump you hadn't met me yet

your secrets excavated into my blood vessels and vials of hope looking through a kaleidoscope like a pipe dream the one you tied around your ankles like a barcode, numbers stamped bleeding ink ... x-number of the last dose don't flutter from heaven there are fireflies flying through the ribcage in the sky gods spilling shrapnel 'lighting bolts of bones you are swallowing roses that tum your insides into a poem and there's a reason why I tried tying kite strings to your life I wanted to fly you horne I had felt myself visualizing everything - the face on the moon taking your clothes off Watching each garment fall like bombs around my dreams like rain the killer in your veins is a very beautiful boy

and

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tonight - I am afraid of my own fingertips the cobwebs you wove into my nightgown are lacing infinity symbols through and up my wrists the ghosts are playing with matches in this comer of our world ;'~ tugging the ropes of nervous systems of teenage girls, self-battered, nickel-and-dimed you are saving me saving you turning frowns stopping time sewing seeds and heartbeats I was the diamond you stole from shopkeeper silver eyelashes and stones, Saturn's rings around your fingers uncross your fingers you can live forever stop mistaking those stars for satellites and calypsos ~ flocks of apathy are soaring through the cracks of me and you and the killer in your veins i~~v_ery b~C1utifulboy

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my body is collapsing


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into itself. i need you to eclectically of cemeteries).

rearrange my the

bones. (think, the syinmetry

i hate time. i punched

clock. it didn't break. my crooked fingers remind me of your spine. my physique midnight heartbeats. is chaos. mangle with the loose stands of my favorite self. it's and something is fluttering in Py chest. fluttering like broken

like the anger of a butterfly's wings. fluttering silently. i can't
I

find my voicebox, my artwork. do you remember the last time you felt both safe and lost in your own skin for just a second? i am imprisoned, shack-

led, hysterical, breaking down until i am just a pair of ankles inside a string of chains. salvation, i am noticing the grooves in my surface, from shrapnel and

afraid it'll all fucking

fade. show me your scars. all you've

scraped away from your chest has become the ashes on my windowsill. and tell me why it feels like there is a drum in my head. tonight, i want to merge myself into infinity, next to you. get lost in daydreams or on the

same path to where the fuck ever. vanish, slip away, liberate these limbs

~

--.

and manifest our own pasts into each other's' futures. create honesty with sultriness in our smiles, and the same energy we would use to braid jailbars into the tangles of medusa. translate despondency substantial languages. into a tangible mess, into

i am hellfire under the ocean. you are, just. the.

same. viciousness.

repose. goodnight.

} The power

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of love Is infinite.

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;, T'hebody Is a temple. Take care of It.

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eyes rolled back like indica, smoke stacks it only takes one breath to be good at heart but this air war, this carbon, i almost forgot beautiful lungs, gone black lips painted black like hers ' and they had to sit in the back of the bus until 1956, SHIT
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eat bullets, soldier, eat bullets like they're sugar and string your 50 stars like 1,000 paper cranes around our fathers and his wife she'll thank her drug lord on her deathbed-;" fuck a force feeing specialist she's special, LISTEN "bring me back to Peru" she's crying, for needle nectar she doesn't want to die like that, scar face, at least not in this place

still, there are days when I cannot afford to laugh America, how much will it cost to get my freedom back? please tell me why you are paying the 3rd world 9 cents an hour so we can walk to our death in leather we didn't work for there are people who can't fit into their combat boots anymore bring my brothers home there is war paint on my palm I don't want to drink the blood of my lover's fight or hold his mother's frail body in a church yard as she glances at the grave and wishes to carve "my only chance at success" across the front of him
------- ------------._.-

America, I am young, and you are the closing sky Israel's choke hold on Palestine no, school nurse, when I said slit wrist I did not mean suicide I meant a clean cut for every soldier i that died in your honor please, take care, but don't take too much longer I have souls to save '

-~-~-.-------please tell me why you are cr~~tingthis memory---···· talking about raping our enemies' children wear all black, never keep your eyes shut, the night life, the night life and give your history a name before the scar fades born cold and left afraid the bird with a cage around itself hold a peace sign to my chest, branding high hopes to my lungs my heartbeat thumping soapbox stories of arms snapping like tree branches outcasts and kites stories of victims and Jupiter not seeming so far away strap guns to your stomach like hugs or Katrina's saxophones stories of Uganda and peace-keeping junkies 1.B million displaced, displayed like a string of lights on Christmas day a broken home with open arms I swear, America, it's not too late

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from a distance my dirty hands looked like stars and you couldn't feel a thing

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:;:;'l;~:~~ ~av;ng the :ce~~ ;~eh:~!~:ne to fall in love an , b b to the sun threw a om h d into the moon b and the Kamikaze cra~ eo the shape of stolen cobwe s " spilling b r oken bones tnt '::--:;;-_ _" " , _

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' I' uor i could swa llowquicker that malt Iq" mouth' . ' t h an your spit me my In away WI ith the clouds kid , you blew _, ~ _ I _ __ --

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, were blin d e d by my beauty let's forget that~~~ou were lonely ith a nosebleed ': the night i drea . g you woke up WI f II to its knees' before the mornm , the forest floor e h lkaze eras e , the Karni , into me willow weepmg body d they found my

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:~ feet under your :,::t~e my fucking ange~ee becken shoulders because you need~r wings like crutches un held me under yo at arms length he bathroom sink

fell madly into t heart spilling ou t ti~n of sacri fice the blood m my I ving selves, the de rn ll es our 0 secret IV, 'k s to say no ' the time It ta e saying yes we're alway s . so f liars the language ~ hand smoke ~ breathin~~o ~n _ __ .
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so i breathed into your mouth while she lied to you over the telephone from Rhode Island while the Kamikaze crashed into her eyelids let someone else tear her off at the thighs perforated like the rising sun she is th~ girl, I wanted to bite constellations from the sky and spit at her though my teeth I stole more than I could swallow like time stopped like scraping whiskey from my chest like sex like ...

you are your mother's only child and your father's only son but you are not my one the Kamikaze crashed across my wrists your name suicide bombing in my soul my nuclear arms can't hold you this year they're tied to the bedpost the Kamikaze crashed into my neck snapped with your fingers pressed against my lips opened only for the truth a fist full of nails and I'm sorry I poured salt in your wounds but you only told me you loved me with blood in your mouth left rope burns like romance taught you to be a liar keep lying to me you are still a liar

·..dear se~horse~

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----

in retrospect: cigarettes in bed and speaking in rhyme, rapture and blindness, rainsoaked and screaming, bad dumpster wishing middle in my underwear, luck and s~ptgun, a bottle of wine and creating the future, climbing trees and climbing violence else's hearts,

you a dream and birthdays fmgers and 3am insults

on clocks,

and defiance, mother, theater

from someone

lobbies and late night black coffee, owing explanations, and a split lip, evolution recognition blax, reoccurring secret missions and dreams

swollen knuckles

and victory beer, coltrane and djarum routines, throwing and sunshine in my veins,

and morning adventures, in

and candy gravity,

cups of tea on the shadows, hysterical

sidewalk

notches

spines

unannounced

breakdowns

for like 5 seconds, contours of hands and hatred,

stems of dead flowers and hope reborn from the sun, repose and joints rolled, barcodes and himself materializing my waking life, tobacco in

bedsheets and wretched souls, hands-delivering

poems and the wind in the

cemetery, fingertips and tears on a dirty face, nicotine addicted, open fields and route 302, remnants of a collection of pasts, sleeping on the phone and sleeping away sundays, pipe tobacco and bare-feet season, symbolism slow dancing like middle school, burning and

under bridges and repose, the

ocean and our castles, sweaty palms and fists, tripping over memoirs and mushrooms on ferries, sneaking around in the kitchen, trashed thought and lack of reason, knots in the napes of necks, smoke and mirrors, peace pipes and facing fears, driving home on the coast and stopping time, in my and

element, bird's eye views of our insides and battery steele, mantras open spaces, strange creature zoos and broken engines, with shots of this moment. chasing

ghosts,

.-

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.

: jasper wood 3 54 stevens ave.
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portland, maine
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04103
e, - love letters:

sickbbdypart@gmail.com