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How to Get Ur Text Game Tight
Written by Decibel PUAFieldGuide.com
Hey fuckers, welcome back. Coupla years ago when I got into the community, I thought texting was lame-o. I called girls and never texted them. Then I started to use texting more, since many girls would not respond to my calls. I found increasingly more girls wanted to text and not talk on the phone, so I had to adapt. Then I grew to love text game. But sadly, I sucked at it. To fix this, I got TONS of numbers, from girls I wasn’t even attracted to. I hit them all up, studied their responses, and devised a phenomenal system as a result. My text game is probably better than my in-person game at this point. I often turn dead numbers and crappy day 1s into dates, and have helped my wings do the same. So now I felt I was decent enough to share with you playboys exactly what it is I do. First I’m gonna lay out some guidelines and techniques, and then do a series of case studies to illustrate. Believe me, text game is an art form, almost like poetry. It takes careful calibration to get the emotional responses and compliance you want. By the way, when you do instant messaging on Facebook or other sites, many of the same concepts apply. The difference is, she might get off her computer at any moment, and so IMing game is like text game on crack: you have to get in and out sometimes very quickly, and if you wait too long you’ll lose the chance to meet your goal. Once you master text game, you’ll come to realize its power and many times superiority over calling. Here are a few reasons: 1. Discrete. I can be on a date and do it. I can avoid being caught by cops while driving. 2. Easier in loud clubs. Can't hear much on the phone, so texting in the venues is way easier. 3. Girls are evasive and prefer it. 4. Saves time. Gets the point across without a long conversation.
5. Accurate. Can be cute and spike BT without making dumb comments. Lets you think about the best response, for as much time as you need. 6. Going dead air on a girl drives her nuts. You can't just hang up on a call and not seem rude. 7. You can answer the text when you want, and vice versa. 8. You can text multiple people at once. Really helpful for working logistics with your wings or setting up a date from a pool of options. As a caveat, pleeeeze do not copy or distribute any text exchanges that I’ve used here. This is all just between you and me.
Table of Contents
Chapter 1 Some Guidelines Chapter 2 Techniques Chapter 3 Case Studies Chapter 4 The Emotional Investment Scale
Copyright 2009 © PUA Field Guide
Z Get an iPhone or any device which can store an indefinite number of texts. You
need to be able to recall the text history with a girl, not just so you can learn where things went right or wrong, but to remain consistent and fresh with her. My first phone only stored 100 messages, which was almost impossible to use.
Z Text as many girls as you can, even ones you don’t want to see again; it’s all
Z Test out a phrase, opener, thread many times to know how and when to use it. Field
test shit just like you would in the real world. Don’t be afraid to lose sets.
Z Take your time to respond, don’t worry about length between your responses. Time
in the realm of text game is usually irrelevant.
Z What time should you text? Really doesn’t matter, though texting before 11 AM to
me shows you waited up all night thinking about her and couldn’t wait to send the text. Otherwise, I have no rules about what time to send a text, how long to wait before responding to her text, or waiting a certain time between your own two texts.
Z Calibrate to your target’s age, education, ethnicity, etc…and mirror her text style to
Z Much of the dialogue I’m gonna give in the case studies will seem super nit-picky,
but it’s not. ALL the punctuation, phrasing, use of words is CRITICAL. Pay VERY CLOSE attention to not just what but how a girl says something in her text, and use that to guide your responses. You know where you want to lead her; she will help tell you how to get there.
Z Learn from girls. Start using the phrases or punctuations in your texts that girls use
Z Keep up with pop culture. Why say “totally” when “totes magotes” will spike BT? Be
cooool at all times.
Z Is she a texter? Some girls text like it’s a crack addiction. Some take 48 hours to get
back to you, and then with something stupid like “K.” If she’s not a texter, then call her. If she isn’t responding that way either, then just be patient and work the interaction
If you keep spewing your life story and trying to entertain her with your texts. Where are you going with the thread? Know the answer to that before you send a text. Z Have a thread imagined before you send out the text. There are exceptions. so calibrate it. That’s called fluff and it’ll put you in the friend zone. As long as she’s responding in some way. reopening one morning: dB: Sleep well? (No response for 3 hours) dB: Uh oh r u in some holding tank somewhere? do I need to come bail u out? HB: No I just woke up . Sure. Maybe she’s in class. Whatever. or getting laid. When I send out a text. That opens a new level of intimacy. even if it’s brutally slow. I’m never just texting for the sake of it. It’ll end up lowering your value. She can grab onto that if she wants and ask me what I’m passionate about. I can call her out in a funny way. then don’t put too much effort into your responses. persist. where she can start sharing her passions with me. Example: HB: Im gonna try not drinking tonight. Im passionate so I can see where moderation can be a bore Here I’ve dangled the thread about being passionate. I have a problem with moderation dB: I know what you mean. etc. If a girl is a strong responder and then suddenly isn’t. I cover unclogger texts later. logistics. Which brings us to… Z Move the interaction forward. Point is. and all you keep getting back is “Lol” and “Ok” then your value is plummeting. Keep your effort about the same or less than hers. or getting her nails done. Z Chill the fuck out! Many times girls have shit going on. Another example from the same girl as above (who does at times drink to excess). you can tease her about her drinking. Z Is she putting thought into her responses? If she’s giving you brief answers without any thought. attraction. I liken it to aiming a gun at a target. Text game can address rapport. and if you’re the guy who keeps texting to dead air it reveals your insecurity and need for attention. but make sure you then convert this BT spike into something useful like getting her out. it can come across as needy to send out too many texts. or at a movie. I have already imagined what the next few responses will roughly look like and where it’ll end up.slower than usual. which may spike her buying temp (BT). intent. You do need to often give girls time to respond.
I bring out some call-back humor and that gets her back. We deserve it or dB: Been running around all day.In this case. but if she’s busy. but on its own can be creepy. But if you never give her the option. Lets grab a beer. she has nothing to consider. and then her decision is does she want another friend or not. adorable. Sift through your day 1 interaction or textings and think about something sly you can employ. but get it out on the table quickly. When she doesn’t respond.” It’s usually a bad idea to tell a girl you just met that you miss her. Don’t fawn over her.) Z Try to get her out. Feel like having a movie nite 2nite or dB: Gonna be with the bros til 9. cute. such as… dB: Hey shorty! Let’s hang out…miss ya gurl!! . You don’t want to trigger ASD. No. Endless texting puts you in the friend zone. Her not responding is out of character. She will decide if she wants to meet up romantically or sexually if you give her that option. It may not be. But just don’t be a dancing monkey about it. I’m giving her plenty of time to respond. Call her sexy. it’s no biggy. Which now brings us to… Z Use call-back humor. but assume it is and see if she’s down through subtle hints. think of it as a booty call and try to work it so you hook up. Girls will go dead air on you if ASD goes up. You want her to meet up so you can continue your seduction in person. You’re also not overtly saying “tag along with me” which undermines your intent. Z Be careful with “miss you. Z Ask her out in a non-needy way. Z Use sexualizing wisely. I can pick u up afterwards So you’re communicating that you have shit going on. you want alone time with her because you like her and want to get to know her. You’re just being friendly. Don’t overdo it. but if you sense she’s not comfortable then back off. and while you plan on doing something it would be great for her to join. and you don’t want her thinking you’re a horndog. and do you offer something her other friends don’t. Sometimes all it takes is a winky emoticon or ellipse (…) to make your intent known. You can get away with it when cushioned in humor. You can assess her sexual comfort level. Examples: dB: I had a hard day too. Get her emotionally invested through humor. . You can couch it in humor. with the subtext that she is already on board. Z Show intent early and often. If she’s texting you at 1 am. Not putting her on the spot or making her feel essential to your happiness. but drop some humor to remind her what a fun dude you are.
’) Which gets us to… Z Use emoticons wisely. you seem not particularly interested where she is. you’re now absolutely puzzled and possibly alarmed as to where she is. With 3 question marks.dB: Oh no u didn't! Now ur just asking for trouble. thereby creating and then resolving tension. If a girl confirms a date I may just respond with a happy face :). but if you use them strategically. or else are removing the inflection from the question which can be translated as alpha. If she teases me about something I may send her my grumpy face: >:’( Of instead of hugs and kisses (xoxo). you can really add another layer of meaning and help calibrate the verbiage. dB: Lets hang out Clarisse versus dB: Lets hang out baby . you can use my invention of two smilies kissing: :)(: Z Likewise. Don’t overuse smilies and winks. Sometimes all I send is a smiley. You can put it at the end of a sentence to create tension that she will need to resolve. The ellipse (…) can be used to tie together two sentences. You can soften something you may think is too harsh as well. to show you’re too busy to care or are alpha.. use punctuation wisely. dB: Hey girl!! Are u up?!?!? We’re going hiking!! Where u at??? Wake up!!!! Too much of that shit is like TYPING EVERYTHING IN ALL CAPS. Example: .. Sometimes periods aren’t needed at the end of the sentence. Sometimes exaggerating the punctuation will help emphasize your meaning (see the case study on exaggeration). Eventually the reader gets irritated or numb and the punctuation loses its impact. dB: Where r u vs dB: Where are u??? Without any question mark.
Read this carefully and be responsive to it. Always think about ways to get a poignant message across with the fewest number of words or characters. You’re a busy guy. accuracy of punctuation. but if she changes the subject and doesn't take the bait.. less is more. Remain illogical and fun. Then when she's wet in the pannies. Calibrating to her emotional needs is absolutely critical. emotional content. so that when she deviates from the norm you can detect a shift in her state. Z Don’t be too intellectual or brainy. take a step back and ask yourself if there is a way to get to a better place by not going down the logical route. Sometimes a simple “Yup” or “Riiiiight” or “Ooookay…” can do oodles to maintain control of the frame and still be humorous. . Even subtle things like her use of smilies or long response times can subcommunicate so much about her emotional state. Z Get a sense of each girl's baseline.dB: Lets hang out vs dB: Lets hang out… or dB: Lets hang out…free tonight? Z Often times. Z Ask her out. let it go and work on the interaction some more. This will help you with. length of responses. Z And finally but possibly most important of all…BE PRESENT WITH HER EMOTIONAL STATE. and takes experience to become competent at. There usually is.. You have to know what her norm is regarding response time. Don’t pile on tons of big words when a couple little ones will resonate better. Z She’s a girl. Keep em light and loose. why would you be investing all that effort into a dumb text message? You simply wouldn’t be. just like when you talk to a young girl in person. emoticon use and value invested. but don’t let her feel like you did). try again. Anytime you are tempted to run a logical thread. Don’t put that much “thought” into your responses (well do.
that person is not as attractive to women as the former. Z Dangling Threads. It’s free. What is your goal for reopening her? Do you want to meet her tonight for a booty call? Do you just want to ping her to see if she’s responsive? Do you want to set up a date for Thursday after work? Always have this question answered before you strike up a new conversation. Rule one: Only dangle one thread at a time. First of all. I’m not gonna go into stuff like qualifying. and you don’t want your texts to go down like this: dB: What's up? Working hard? Let's chill 2nite HB: Gaaawwd. Anytime you feel like you’re playing the part of a submissive loser who has no women or friends.com. frames. It all applies to text game just as in person. B and C that will hopefully take you to D (the ultimate goal). then work towards this goal. . Text game allows you plenty of time to think about which role you're portraying.Chapter Two Techniques So now you got some basic guidelines you can refer to. You should get back to asking her out later. who you are? You are a dominant dude who has tons of women and friends. You can ask a question or make a comment that provokes a response. but to help prevent this. Do not wander around texting aimlessly with no goal or she will go dead air. A thread is a line of conversation. Let’s get on with a bunch of techniques I use. Believe it or not.let’s hang out later Your value just dropped. but because I dangled that first thread. don’t distract her with a second thread. and I cover it in my ebook Introductory Pick-up. that’s 2 bad. So this is a nightmare scenario. take a deep breath and get back on track. I run the risk of her taking hold of that one and going off on a tangent about work. yeah. Think of steps A. Working my ass off! dB: Uh. so go download that shit at puafieldguide. when you have a desired goal. I want her to respond to the second. hoops and that stuff. dB: What's up? Working hard? Let's chill 2nite Here I just dangled 2 threads: 1) how's work going? and 2) an invite for later. Sooooo….
Give her something she can for sure take hold of and run with. at some point I need to re-state the invite. Here's one: dB: Hey shorty how do your shoulders feel? HB: Better! I'm at pier w 4 dogs and my friend dB: Aw im heading 2 the standard or i would bring monty by Note: I gave this chick a massage the prior day. Often girls will initiate this or will respond in kind to your separation. Rule four: Dangle threads that have the purpose of meeting your goal. you can meet a few different goals: 1. and then send the next thread. wait a few minutes or less. which I never like doing. or maybe she'll go dead air. As a caveat to the above. She can either choose the thread about going to the bar. dB: Hey knucklehead pick u up at 9? HB: Wtf??? Knucklehead?! By calling her a knucklehead. she goes off onto the second thread and takes offense (even if jokingly) to my tease. Have purpose. compelling you to send another text. If she responded 'still sore' I'd take this as a reason to see her again (to take care of her shoulders tomorrow night). Either one has date potential. This means just like above. each with purpose. She may not take the bait. I responded to that by dangling two threads. dB: I had steak last night Who the fuck cares? How is she supposed to respond to this. as it may be unavoidable. That is. Rule three: Always dangle a thread. she gave me an undesirable response but then started a new thread. you can separate the threads into two different texts. Maybe she will. Z Goals When you run a text exchange. In this case. I've just dangled a tease thread. **** GET THE MEET-UP **** 2. Seduce .Rule two: Some threads don't look like threads. but envision a text exhange before you send something. Instead of answering my invite. sometimes you will find yourself running two threads at once. send one thread. In those cases. or the one about my dog.
Have purpose and direction to your game. You sometimes need some force and persistence to get her to open up. Seduce Most often you will do this with plausible deniability and ASD (anti-slut defense) in mind. On the other hand. and you're essentially fluffing. and girls will then open the door. getting rapport. then when it’s up. Comfort/rapport I don’t spend too much time with comfort or attraction. and usually also show intent. Otherwise.3. But don’t simply give up with the first sign of ASD. . Examples may include spiking BT. Get the meet-up If you aren’t moving the interaction towards meeting up. recalibrate and try again later but be gentler. one of the great advantages of texting is it allows women to remove themselves a bit and go places sexually they may not otherwise go in person or on the phone. you need to get her BT up. I DO use a lot of BT spiking to get the meet-up and I also do run seduction. This may include. I will focus on the first 3 only. and all your microgoals collectively should get you to your macrogoal for that exchange. go for the meet-up. Attraction and comfort are similar to in-person gaming. “I want to get her out Thursday night” or “I want to get her so horny she'll drive over right now” or “I just want to stay fresh in her mind since I can't see her for a few weeks. you need to dial that in at that stage. not try to gain it through texting. Clearly define in your head your micro and microgoals before you send out your texts. inviting her out. Don’t be the guy she likes to text but will never agree to meet. going sexual. Attraction 5. you’re nearly always wasting your time. All you need to do is make some subtle suggestions to turn the doorknob. if your day 1 interaction is lacking in either of these.” A microgoal is the purpose behind each text you send. etc. So first spike BT. Spike BT (buying temperature) 4. if her ASD goes up at first. Microgoals and macrogoals A macrogoal is your over-riding reason for reopening a chick. Each text you send should fit into a microgoal. so again go read Introductory Pick-up. Some girls will meet up with little effort. Without a microgoal you have no direction.
"gotta get some work done in field tonight. although some guys approach it as war….games. Or as a chore. there wouldn’t be a game. girls love games. But if she’s just out to have fun. Use humor (call-back. dude. basically telling you to go away. “Why do I have to play all these fucking games! Why can’t we just FUCK already!!” Whatever. but that’s another story). play that game. then it’s yes or no. ask her to fuck. that’s dead air. But no. And they want you.or more accurately . Be cautious with sarcasm since it often doesn't translate well through text." But that’s all fucked up. and hence why we're are all gathered here. then by all means. this is called the Game for a reason. that’s not a game you should play. try out one of these verbatim. to play the game with her. So when someone complains that dating involves too many games. If she’s responding immediately to all your texts and then when you go for an invite she stops responding. the longer and tougher your road is gonna be. embrace the game . To learn how to play this game (the rules of which change from one girl to the next. she gets rewarded with a big BT spike. and together. the man. Now I’m sure if most guys had their way.guys versus girls. The more you resist the reality of the situation. realize what they’re probably referring to are the games that are unhealthy. They’d step to a chick. demeaning or simply not fun. Gameplaying is what it is.” If a few days pass without a response.. One of the best ways to spike BT is through playing games with her… Z Playing Games Look. If she chooses to play along. We’re all here to play a game. that’s dead air. Z Dead Air If you text a girl and she never responds. Instead of resisting. Girls love games. misinterpretation) to get her laughing. Tease or neg. If she’s tooling you and playing with your emotions. The fun games are A-OK. In texting.Spike BT There are many ways to do this.. word-play. OMG wtf lolz did u get kidnapped into white slavery or sumpthin?? Holla back gurl! . I illustrate game-playing in several of the case studies. Not all games are worth playing. which I call “unclogger texts. Some guys confront this game-playing with resentment. you can create games for her. Dead air sucks. Dead air is the text equivalent of the back-turn a girl gives you in a nightclub. Let’s get outta here or move on to the next set. these collectively help form the Game. There are some things you can do about it.
Wassup not feeling cute today? Ur not your usual texty little self today What did you do with the old Clarisse? She was way more fun (Obviously. but many of them you'll come across from texts sent to you. Go online to get their meaning if they're foreign to you. then start incorporating them into your own messages. then reward with loving terms like “cutie”. keep going until you meet your goal. Using words like “brat”. whoa. cut off communication for a while. “shorty” or some call-back name from day 1. Z Name-Calling Texting is a great way to show attitude. duh = don't be stupid Eh = not really Meh = I'm not on board with it Ugh. Z Abbreviations There are a few abbreviations you need to know about. Do NOT dead air a girl who is responsive. If they’re being cool. Jeez am I gonna have to bail u outta jail AGAIN?? Sometimes you will need to employ dead air to punish a girl for misbehavior. “missy” and “lameo” get them riled up without being offensive (most of the time). whew.” These can come across as sleazy or condescending so use appropriately. use her name here instead). A common term of endearment is “baby” and “babe. your. wha = various exclamations Derrr. Some are listed. you’re im = I’m OMG = Oh my god tmrw/2moro/2day = tomorrow/today bf = boyfriend gf = girlfriend bff = best friends forever ttyl = talk to you later Wow. ur = you are. “weirdo”. It’ll hit her when she isn’t getting the emotional rewards you were just providing. You will just train her not to invest in the text exchange. If a girl insults you or IODs in some way. You can convey a lot by calling her names. egh = ill Argh = angry or upset btr = better jeal = jealous Wtf = What the fuck? . If a girl is responding like you want.
and always look for ways in which she may be trying to mirror you. . use haha. Instead of reflecting a girl's body language or words.Wth = What the hell? Btw = by the way idk = I don't know omw = on my way lol = laughed out loud. Sometimes to be a smart ass I'll type out “laughed out loud. but use this technique periodically.” Z Mirroring One of the best ways to create rapport is the old NLP method of mirroring. AVOID THIS AT ALL COSTS. you can use her style of punctuation. You never want to mimicking exactly what she's doing. abbreviations. grammar and smilies. In fact. The case studies illustrate this. Instead. hehe or teehee. I usually will call a girl out (“Oh no you did NOT just LOL me!!”) if she pulls this one out.
I sensed it was time to reopen. This breaks the rule of dangling threads and shouldn’t be the usual practice. MUCH BETTER!!! Note: What is her emotional state? She is genuinely surprised that as I was texting she was thinking of me. If I go back to the invitation now. nursed a hang over. I was just thinking of you…I’m okay. but wants me to understand (all caps/3 exclamations) that she was seriously sick and now is doing fine. I reopened while I was away in Vegas: D: Doing ok baby? H: Woah. Now let me open up some case studies that illustrate many of these things in action. No response to the first text over the next couple days. Her use of 3 ?s shows she is genuinely interested. Also indicates more work with BT will be needed first. had to many drinks. She is justifying her flake. spectacula like Dracula!! We got ourselves some guidelines and some techniques. D: U bad gurl! In Vegas.Chapter Three Case Studies Ok. D: Bars are dead but we’re having fun. The timing of this actually shows that I am present with her. Eating like a fuggin peag (No response) D: Gonna get a tat . Never apologizes. I tell her where I am and ask her out. Free Thursday Note: “Gurl” is playful and shows all is forgiven. She may also feel guilty about standing me up. Case study #1: Getting emotional investment This chick stood me up one Saturday night. it lowers my value. to sense if the BT spike of my texting her right then is enough to get a meet-up. I am still however scolding her for misbehaving. This should help tie all this up with a pretty purple gay bow. I don’t ASK her out. I just tell her that I’m free Thursday (an implied invitation). we’re ready to start playing games again. yeay! Having a good time??? Note: She chose the wrong thread. H: Oh. albeit jokingly.
and by telling her she’s small. I am asserting dominance here. so I decide to snip and go into another BT spiker. She does love tats. which is not the frame I want. H: Ugh. I’ve been nauseous since Sunday. H: Dude. Not necessary since she likely woulda responded anyways. gahwd don’t mention food. I’m misspelling words like pig and fuckin. so she is misspelling cool and god. What I find out later in the exchange is that she can only get super drunk when she is comfortable with the person she’s with.Note: After waiting a few minutes. which is her accepting my frame of her being submissive. I give her the punchline of my BT-spiker and move on. She is mirroring my behavior in an attempt to seek rapport. Tats are kewl I like tats. All this will be BT spiking stuff with the end goal of getting a meet up another day. I didn’t mean to. Ur just a widdle lady Note: Again. My use of 2 ?s shows I am quite interested (not 3 like she used. but I doubt she will. Notice her baby babble again. but I wanted to move things along. she wants to let me know how sick she was (possibly again with some guilt). you want this. D: Huh? H: Yus. H: only when I’m super comfy. which is also baby babble. Good. no response. She could take that thread. D: Lush (No response) D: Did u c ur scawy movie at least?? Note: She is laying the foundation for plausible deniability: get me drunk and I may not be able to control my actions. I do ask her about it. then erased it. D: Which one H: Its called The House of the Devil . It starts lower case which suggests possibly she had started to type something. I use her misspelling of scary from her Facebook post (call-back humor). the wine took me. This helps prevent being seen as too fatherly or controlling. I jokingly call her out. and I need to retake control). I dangle a new one: don’t drink too much. Pleeeeze don’t drink that much babe. I calibrate this by calling her babe and by misspelling please and exaggerating it (see the case study on exaggeration. then snip and ask her about the movie she saw. it was fwightning!!! Note: Her first text makes no sense (at first). which would show A LOT of interest). by using baby talk (widdle) which is almost condescending. by giving fatherly advice. I am again condescending to her (she called me dude. D: It’s gonna say mommy. but she snips and answers my second thread about the movie. below).
just not get TOO wasted. D: Long ago…creepy. I don’t ask. You’ve seen that? H: M-hm. but she mustn’t misbehave. I won’t be that comfy. then move on to my goal: get the meet up. I have it on vhs. I bought a horror film. it’s because I’m not that interested. Also notice that while she is IOD’d me (showing disinterest by saying she’s not comfortable enough around me to get hammered). Good. D: Good. need more comfort. But u can’t get TOO wasted H: Eh. Note: Her tone has gone from babble to adult. cus I work Friday. When she says she can’t stay out late. I snip to another thread. I am permitting her to drink. ghettO harhar Note: I have in prior texts explicitly told her I never judge…important for her to know in the context of ASD. Ok we’ll have a moovie nite. Enough BT-spiking (and a bit of rapport about horror films). I do want to keep the door open for PD. I completely navigate around that objection by offering to go to her place. Also. merely making the point that I’m free Thursday. U c it? H: No. D: Yeah I can bring it over with my popcorn maker. and go back to my goal of the meet-up. I bought Descent. I also totally disregard that thread which would move me in the wrong direction. again as a way for her to indicate her low status. This thread if I keep it going. saying she’s not comfortable enough around me to get hammered. I see a bridge now. A live subject? Rather than ask her to explain. H: You’re not coming to my house. I need more comfort/rapport. so I bring up another movie she probably likes. but to me this implies she is willing to come to my home. She can comply to my schedule. I don’t WANT you to get hammered anyways. she elaborates on her original text about comfy. I create more PD by using my dog as a reason to come over.D: Scaaaaawy! Horror is my fav. Note: Again. Casual attire is suitable. She objects to this. D: I’ve seen worse but ok. Good to know. I return to baby babble. She jokes that it’s ghettO (notice her cute emphasis). . Her response makes no sense to me. I reframe this into the positive. will lead nowhere (talking about horror films). Again. Monty keeps telling me he wants to meet u H: Hm…A live subject would be much better. D: Also have Donnie darko. Please recall I live under a bridge. I am not asking a question. let’s have a movie night. I tell her we’re getting together. time to move on to the goal. I am creating an offer (movie nite) which she can accept IF she meets my conditions (just drink a little). have you??? Note: When I ask a question and leave off the question mark. I am again being nonjudgmental about her house. She is once again following my lead. Thursday nite works 4 me H: I can’t stay out late. she likes horror films. Here.
But then she objects to the day. D: Sunday it is. not her. but it spiked her attraction (and probably increased my seductiveness). H: I have all these rules. This was a ballsy statement. She even uses Mr. She lets me know she has boundaries which I need to respect (she calls them rules).” D: Sun? D: Or cancel your dinner!! H: Cannot cxl!!! Sunday. So I assert dominance and command her to cancel her plans for me. “I can’t make it Saturday. D: :) I know babe… Note: I reward her submissiveness with a smiley face. Note: I at first try to negotiate another day. might be okay. then go back to the invite. Mr. feeding into the PD I’ve established. so complete this thought for me. to create a sense of guilt if she flakes again (3 !s). She refers to Monty as cute. but I don’t want to leave you hanging. I do it with 2 !s. H: My goodness. D: Classic. then again go cocky (to stay . Note: This was a high-risk approach. Decibel. GIRLS WILL OBJECT!! All the time. Movie nite!!! So excited H: He’s so cute H: Friday! Note: I end the thread. then realize this is not being definitive (read: masculine) enough. C u Thursday toots. She lets me know I’m doing what I need to do. Got another creepy one but don’t remember which. talk like that will get you very far. I need to emphasize to her how much I’m looking forward to our meetup. as a way again to indicate her submissiveness. Keep working around these objections. and it could’ve gone either way). I’m worth it (An hour passes. again mirroring my style to seek rapport. As in. and she responds with 3!s. The … creates suspense. without actually asking her. I am somewhat ok with these. but it has to be early.But she lets me know she’s ok with it (harhar). Break ur rules. I again tell her when I’m free. but I need to be the one setting the conditions of the relationship. essentially trying to yell louder than me. D: Bizy Friday D: Saturdays open H: I have a dindin on Saturday… Note: She is using my dindin phrase from a prior text.
. What is her emotional state? Not angry or defiant. Naturally. I am PUSHING her away here. This was 1 week ago.) Note: Boom. D: Touché Note: I am rewarding her LOGICALLY for having a sound argument. Case #2: Going sexual and showing intent Background: My wing C-dub picked up HB CVS on her way home from CVS. we go from talking about drunk dialing to sex talk in 0. Again. C: What kind?? H: Drunk dialing…always dangerous Note: She wants to play a game I might call “what trouble are you causing?” We reward this by playing along. Playful. then at 1140pm) H: Of course. Look at that statement without the … and realize how condescending (in a negative way) that would sound. but as long as we use protection we’re ok . she goes dead air. because of her rules). she is now (FINALLY) becoming emotionally invested in our interaction. then nothing until (while driving to Vegas) I coach him through this exchange. but actually hurt. Also note.. having done much PULLING to work with her on the meet-up (negotiating from Thursday to Sunday. Note: Chill the fuck out! Girls may take 1-2 days to respond. and uses a sad face to illustrate this. She feels that her value is truly lower than mine. she is lowering her value relative to mine. H: Why don’t you cancel ur Friday??? I’m not worth it =( Note: She is now challenging my authority. In the end. Rather than justify why I’m unwilling to meet her demands. She then TELLS ME (doesn’t ask) that she isn’t worth it. C: Are you causing trouble?? (Dead air for 1 ½ days.. C: Yeah. Some brief texting that day. I choose instead a harsh end to the conversation. but I am not willing either to negotiate with her or to justify her emotional response. then not too late Sunday. She wants me to bend to her schedule. or validate her sadness. since her demands are not being met and I am not validating her emotions.congruent) and tell her I’m well in control of the frame. 5 min walking nighttime on street.5 seconds. I’m kinda tipsy too. she needs to realize that I am in control. She is amping her challenge up with 3 ?s. The … creates suspense.
H: Why r u texting me? U should be motor boating some DD’s right about now. Still. C: Liar!! . I gave it to him to send his girl. She’s moving on to another thread. creepy. C: Ewww dirty gurl!! C: Don’t make me have to spank you! Note: Reframe. or if he can go toe to toe with sexual banter. She is trying to be a mommy. H: What. H: 32E Note: Possibly another shit test. or assert dominance by calling him out for misbehaving. We are dominant by threatening to punish her misbehavior. SHE’S a sexual predator. :-> Note: She wants to keep the sexual banter going. HE isn’t masturbating. Either that or she’s qualifying herself. I likewise use comments like “dream on” to counter sexual shit tests. She’s trying to see if he’s a chode. C: I can multitask. either. Obviously not that drunk. are you MLK? I have a dream… Note: And yet another shit test. C: You know it :) Note: I got this response from a girl EXACTLY as he got the above. Gonna assume so. H: Why do u need a condom to masturbate? :-)) Note: Shit test.not sleazy. implicitly stating intent. we keep the sexual banter going. a perv. very clever. Note: Shit tests passed. She gets called out. Actually. Not gonna happen. Hey aren’t you DD??? :p Note: Time to shift the sexual banter to HER directly. H: Dont u have to work in the am? C: No mommy I’m in vegas. It shows you’re not gonna accept her tooling but are playful about it.
. Case study #4: Being present To summarize. Ur too cute to feel like this. Let's take this to facebook. She’s now primed and ready to ask out. I'd been denied FB a couple times via text. then work the logistics. So in essence a man and a woman can subcommunicate to each other thru text. created sexual tension. DB: I love NY! Ur 1st time?? H: No. Example. he’ll need to get BT back up. With this girl. subtext and subcoms. This is a girl who is usually very talkative via . then to get there you need to mentally map out the steps. D: Wow I’m sorry about that. but I havent been in a few years. H: Fine by me. Case study #3: Setting a goal Always select a goal before you initiate an exchange. and this was my predetermined way of assuring this time she'd add me.. Here's how I did this (this is abridged to make my point): HB: I'm going to new york tomorrow so I can let loose midair.) Next step: He has successfully reengaged her. Well then I owe u a backrub Note: So read between the lines here. Let’s hang out babe H: got a school event D: U party animal H: Totally D: Did u have any fun this wkend? (Dead air) D: Hmm…feels like u had a stressful day H: Yeah i hate my kids. She likely went to sleep. I love the kids i had last year. if I want to set as my goal getting her to add me on Facebook. this is no different with text. On the reopen. Any recommendations? D: Tonzzz. showed he’s dominant and playful and can play games with her. Let me show you an example. Nothing u can do huh? H: No right choices. D: Whew what a night! Vegas will never be the same (Dead air for 2 hours) H: Good for you D: But I should be recovered by 2moro. spiked BT. 1:38am. accept that just as with in-person communication there are layers. Can’t leave the kids even though i can’t stand them D: Aww that’s too bad. I'll open a thread that will in a few steps take me to that goal.(Dead air.
H: this one can stay with Vegas and the guys… Note: She uses “…” to indicate she doesn’t want to hear about it. She was upset about something. Rather than elaborate. Case study #5: Calibrating sexuality This chick is a religious zealot and not sexual. then suddenly a text comes lower case. nothing grand or eventful…and nothing to keep between the girls. D: But not U silly!! . D: Haha how was ur wkend H: pretty good. but here lower case is her baseline. She responds with a smiley. When I teased her about not having a fun wkend. I go away for the weekend and she’s giving me one-word responses. and she opened up. I threw in “babe” as an endearment. dead air. this one word should speak volumes. lacking punctuation and capitalization (for a teacher. yet is somewhat intrigued for me to fill in the gaps. Also notice that she begins all her sentences with lower case. D: Whew what a night! Vegas will never be the same H: why? what happened? D: Uuuuuuugghhh Note: Less is more. Her response was a bit shocking.) at the end. Those are the subcoms. She is unhappy with my tease. I’m gaming her for practice. She ain’t my type. Girls have cooties H: :[ Note: I am disqualifying myself. so I addressed this with her. if she were usually going upper case. “Good for you. I then realized I wasn’t being present with her emotions. that might mean something about the haste and sloppiness of her response.text. Being present with her allows you to sense all that. so I needed to empathize and give her unconditional value (that is. I woulda thrown in a . D: Bleeehh. For that reason. If I wanted to be playful. I don’t want her to get the impression I’m a womanizer. so I need to save face a bit. so I stack. But I sense she may get disgusted with me. this is big!). It’s good that she wants to engage in a game with me. My first clue was her response. asking nothing for myself).” This was unusually sarcastic for her. but I need her to move on because of her ASD. she shut down. Note: She is still trying to play the “what stays in Vegas” game. again because less is more. She’s too conservative to hear anything about chicks or drinking.
I need to assert dominance to break her frame. Note: She is playing the game of personifying the city. As the weekend. and isn’t backing down. which will include personifying the city. H: Nope. I have initiated a game and she wants to play. D: But should be recovered soon. We don’t talk. D: Uuuuuuuggghhhh H: That tells me nothing. How was ur wkend? Note: City is personified. you can tell she’s not as rigid as the previous girl. they party too much n too hard. Note: She’s trying to give me a command. I’d timebridge. Let’s hang out H: you got it Note: Normally. She might pick that thread but I hope she goes with the second one. So we’ve been texting every few days. Crazy. She’s okay with it. Case study #6: Frame control and persistence This girl is fun and wants to meet up. D: Baby pleeeze handle ur booze btr. Me n vegas had a bad break up. She uses F to show her edginess. Ur just a little lady! (Dead air) Note: I could’ve gone many directions here. Don’t befriend spaniards. I would reopen in a week or so. I stack. As with the other text . This is not the frame I want. you want girls who play games. but I want to see how eager she is to see me. but our paths aren’t crossing. Again. Time to move on to getting her out.H: ^_^ shucks Note: Recovered. but doesn’t make any suggestions. Notice the Crazy instead of crazy. as in it was really crazy. D: I’m sure you’ll hear it from Vegas. She actually goes with both. if I get bored. so I don’t answer. D: Whew what a night! Vegas will never be the same H: what the F did u do to vegas? Note: Right out of the gate. but because she was trying to frame-MOG me at first.
exchange above. and that they should work her schedule around yours. This sounds special HB: Ok. so I toss in a joke and some exaggeration (2 !s and an extra happy mouth). She doesn’t go anywhere with this. Another time tho. D: Cancel!! I’m way cuter :)) H: Haha. dB: I knoooooow HB: Ahhaha. buddy. Whatevs HB: Sounds like trouble. I do this by calling her baby. dB: No trouble sounds like a blender. so I wrap it up with a K babe. giving her fatherly advice and calling her little. so I move on to getting her out. to show I’m perfectly ok with it. Here are some of the texts one girl and I exchanged that illustrate the game-playing that we both adore (and why I’m so addicted to text game)… Saturday… dB: Happy hween to u and spooks!! (She made a ghost out of a cloth and named him Spooky) HB: Thanks! You too and your little goblin… dB: Hmph he’s not THAT little!! dB: This pantyhose don’t keep me warm. the ones who can take some teasing and throw it right back at ya. I deserve meatballs tonite HB: If only… dB: Also donuts I think. Case study #7: Playing games I love girls who love to play games. If I didn’t close this exchange I may be perceived as disgruntled. D: K babe Note: It is always good to demonstrate to girls you are persistent. I have plans. She gets it (Haha) but repeats her promise to meet up another time. I don’t want to sound too demanding. I meant sounds like a heart attack… . How can girls stand it? (I wore pantyhose for Halloween as part of my Batman costume) HB: You said panty! dB: Sure batman wears pannies! Ugh no room for…personal growth :( HB: Hahaha. Another time. Ur a riot Monday… dB: Waaahh working my tiny white ass off. dB: >:-( HB: >:-) dB: Gotta find a home for the armadillo HB: Gross. I prefer those kindsa chicks. Let’s hang out H: I can’t tmrw. D: But I should be recovered by 2moro.
veggies? dB: Blechhh! Chimichimichangas!!!!! HB: Yum. dB: Bring it over. dB: I think they’re the same. Are douche and douche bag exclusive of each other… we may never know. Can’t be a db without being a d… dB: That’s not fair. both via text and in person. Dunno…so many options :)) I’m such a dbag HB: Well. u sicko HB: Haha. Tuesday… dB: Ahhh so lovely having the day off. I’m always thinking. at least the ones worth keeping around. and you can learn . you took it there! 6pm. fucker! Case study #8: Exaggeration You can add letters to words to lengthen them as if you were prolonging their pronunciation.dB: Yesh!! I need to not do that. I mean SOB HB: Its been a heated debate. a douche bag is a male whore. dB: No comment HB: Ha dB: Proly b more like 645 HB: Y dB: Z HB: W HB: …hatever dB: W dB: …iseass HB: Oh. Need to wiki that shit. This exaggeration increases the power of the word. When do u get off? I’m talking about work here. dB: c u at 630. Maybe you mean just douche??? dB: Did not know that. we’re gonna have fun… dB: What?!?! Aren’t we already? So you get the point. I’m gonna need time to douche. Maaaaybe go to the beach… (She hates her job) HB: Sigh* maybe paint a canvas or take a stroll though the park… dB: Yes or kick a monkey. Why??? What do you want from meeeee dB: Ok we’re doing standard after work HB: Sounds good. What can I give myself that won’t kill me?? HB: Mmm. “how can I make this a game worth playing?” They squeal and giggle with delight at this shit. This is fun stuff you throw back and forth. Not HB: Sheeeet. Jkjkjkjk. I’m bean…that works too. What should I do today…maybe see a movie. I’m gonna ask my mommy HB: That’s my verdict dB: Mine is guilty!! I’m a dbag. HB: Haha. that’ll give me time to douche.
and she’s dead air. Uh oh. so my exaggeration is gonna be much tamer. H: How was Vegas??? D: Meh Note: Her 3 ?s indicates she’s really interested in the answer. I come back from Vegas. notice through exaggeration of Yeah and 3 !s how excited I seem about hanging out with her. One of my dates is 19 years old and a go-go dancer.. I exaggerate it so she knows I’m very displeased about waiting to see her.. but you’d expect that from her age and background. the more alarmed/excited/ confused/interested you or her may seem. N remember what happends n vegas stays n vegas bby!!!!! D: Noooo!! I’m a good boy! Usually…. I lovee it… A few days later: D: U around this Sunday? H: Aww sundayyy im superrr busy hun…. with lots of practice.) H: Hahaha Note: So she’s clearly on the extreme end of exaggeration. As opposed to this exchange: D: Yeeeeahh!!! It’s movie nite! H: Wait!!!! I thought we settled on Sunday????!!!! D: Meeeh didn’t feel like waiting but ok Note: First. pop culture and emoticons. NOW. Well I guesss we have to wait until u come back from vegasssssss bby! D: Yeeeah!! We made it to Vegas! :) H: Thankgooooooodnesssssssss bbe!!! U have sooo sooo much fun. she feels like I’m on the same page. Next. Also take note of my use of punctuation. When I respond with similar exaggeration. Of course.to calibrate exaggeration just like anything else. Another but similar case study. Notice all the exaggeration she puts into her initial texts to me: D: Fun chatting!! Get home safe H: Yessss I got hereeeee… <:)>… Thanksssss… Aww I knowww hope to see u again hun D: Fo shnizzles H: Haha. She registers this excitement and has to counter it with an objection that has REALLY exaggerated punctuation. instead of just saying meh. You can do the same with punctuation such as ! and ?. send her a few texts. I cover this stuff in other case studies. I feel . I’m older and a man. My simple response of Meh is short and sweet. The more !s and ?s. letting her know I didn’t care for it. lest we both sound like a couple wired high school girls.
.I can think of something. I made a statement of what I like (Yardhouse. Lastly. Then as I respond and BT goes up.. Case study #9: Baiting sex talk This girl has typically had a high ASD. A few crows feet but Botox will help that H: Hahaha. .something’s off. Alpha. But I found a way to bait the conversation to get her to open up. D: How's apartment hunting? H: HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT MY HOUSE?!? So not very well :-D D: Oi vei. Note: Notice how effectively the ellipses create sexual tension. H: Mm that sounds good D: I kinda like beer... D: Ehhhh. I text her best friend that she’s not been responding. but notice how much tamer her texts initially are. A few minutes later. H: Nothing. Any attempt to sexualize got me dead air.. but I move it there. She doesn't want to at first.im sooo excited yay! H: I told u my age right? D: Yea ur 52 H: Hahaha… Wow I look reallly gooood for 52 huh D: Not bad. Go-go starts responding again. ending with a period. me using something playful like yeppers vs yes.P Note: So what got her back? First. K pick u up at 10!! H: Ten thirtyyy cus I have to get home n change hun D: Ten twenty eight and it’s a deal! H: Haha… Ok sounds good. she returns to her old style. What am I gonna do with u?? Note: The phrase “what am I gonna do with u” is fatherly. H: Hey hun do u want to hang out after ten… I have to attend this meeting at my job n it ends at ten D: Yeppers. O yes indeed <:)> D: Ttyl silly .. a bar in Long Beach). An implicit invitation to join me at the bar I like. I like yardhouse. Next instead of asking what she wanted to do. and can be taken into sexual territory easily if she plays along. Is it in LB? H: Yeahhh D: I like yardhouse. I used teasing to circumvent any objection she may have about our 21 year age difference. Then I started working in more !s and playing a game of when to meet up.
H: What? A spanking? Those don't do much.too vanilla H: Harharhar. H: Not sure how i feel about vegas clubbing. D: Riiiiiight (Dead air) Note: Hmmm shows I'm thinking about her response. I'd offered to give her a back rub.. This exchange is long and wordy.. I need a spa day (Dead air) D: Have a good thanksgiving H: You too D: Seeing family? H: Course D: Everything ok?? H: Yeah D: How was borders . Ate like a pig. So I recover. this spike in BT with just the right amount of sexual intent sealed the deal. but it's enough to get my foot in the door..hanging out with u . D: Xoxo :) H: Thanks H: What r u doing tonight?? Note: Suddenly.. She wants to see me for a late night date.. but the point is I took a girl who swears I'm a manipulative player.) H: Oh. and probably have changed her beliefs enough to get out again... I jest.. Note: Maybe not overtly sexual.. However. D: I'm bizy. we can hang out after if its not too late? Case study 10: Dealing with the player vibe One morning this chick texted me early to let me know I move too fast (via text..I like the way u think but. D: Hmmm. this girl goes to Borders every Friday night til close to read romance novels. I may have once again hit her ASD. D: I'm over it (Dead air) D: Took me a week to recover H: No kidding D: Smoke everywhere gave me a sore throat. and then I reward it before I criticize it as too mundane. it's better to show intent and have to recover than to get pushed into the friend zone. All that driving. I'm going to a movie with my fwend.this is too fast for her). As background.
D: Obviously not true. very quick answers. H: Well seems like every guy i’m interested in turns out to be jerks. D: Hmmm is that a reference to me? H: That’s a reference to all guys D: Am I a jerk? H: All guys are D: Oh ok. So how am I a jerk Note: Notice that when I really care about a response. which is unusual for her. I’m just saying the guys i might be interested in seems to be jerks D: Because they objectify u? H: No they’re just jerks D: I don’t know what that means but there are millions of guys so just go out with another one who isn’t a jerk D: I don’t date bitches. she opens up as to the reason she’s reengaged me. When I’m just fluffing or when my question is almost rhetorical. D: Ok well I’M not a jerk. Can’t speak for the other guys you’ve dated H: i didn’t say i dated them. indicating maybe she typed something and then redid it. D: What is H: That I attract jerks. I end with a period. Possibly she had a strong emotional response first and then had to mute it? She also ends the sentence with a period. This indicates a firm belief. for the same reason. So stupid. . Note: Here. I use two ?s (as in Everything ok??). H: all guys just want the chase and the game and to get laid. And that they’re the smooth ones. Maybe something about u is attracting jerks? H: Great. All guys just want to get laid. I drop the question mark. Note: She begins the sentence lower case. You have an extensive dating history do u? H: Totally D: Riiight D: Companionship means more to me than chasing and sex. Up til then. Period. This is my firm belief. I am now being present with her. Lifes too short H: It’s hard to find non bitches and non jerks D: It’s really not that hard.H: Of course It’s awesome D: I don’t believe u! H: Well It’s better than meeting jerks at bars or clubs Note: So with a little teasing and prying.
Did I say something to make u think I just want sex?? H: I just needed to vent. and an appreciation of my value. H: What you mean.D: I have no idea if u do or not. We are mirroring each other’s punctuation. to seeming interested in my opinion of her. It didn’t bother me H: I see D: Aaaanyways I’m not a horndog but I am affectionate. But if reading about it appeals to u more then I’ll understand Note: This is all push-pull. And you tried to kiss me several times. I’m a great guy. Also note she drops the question marks in that last text for the same reason…she’s making almost a rhetorical comment. Is that why Note: So now she’s finally gone from preaching about men. This indicates an investment. U should be able to avoid those people tho D: I think ur a great girl and u shouldn’t change Note: So now. She doesn’t think she’s easy nor that it’s the reason. At this point. So it’s all repeats and getting boring. We’ll see Note: So she now is laying the foundation to coming out with me. Is that the first impression D: I don’t know u well enough. D: You’re far from easy. Happens to guys and girls H: Great. Otherwise it never happens. Am i too easy. D: That’s life. But it’s a big leap from wanting to kiss and only wanting sex. H: Haha there hasn’t been any new books out yet. I’d kick their asses. But if it’s a trend in ur life then u need to consider it. I used to be like that H: Why would they think they can walk on me. Maybe guys think they can walk on u. Push away by again referring to how she spends her Friday nights fantasizing about romance. H: Thanks. I feel like she’s absorbing my advice and is a lot less guarded. and that I appreciate her as a person. I’d like to hang out again H: Haha we’ll see D: Up to u. I need to start letting her know I’m not like all the other players. It’d be nice to have u around. It’s a common problem tho H: What is D: Being too nice and others not respecting u. D: It’s a man’s job to make the first move. Up til she opened up. Maybe ur too nice. saying her . I would love to get u out of ur bubble. I’m just annoyed that all guys I meet are jerks D: Duuude you’re being evasive. Pull in by telling her I’d like to hang out. D: I respect ur boundaries. this wouldn’t have hit.
All I can do is offer myself. Look if u have any issues with me it’s better if you’re honest and up front about it. Though at times I am almost qualifying myself. D: Also I happen to know ur very romantic. which means to me she is accepting it. an implicit agreement. D: Haha a little birdy. we are pretty incompatible and she's giving me way more trouble than she's worth. With this final comment. I'm good” and so I went dead air. D: I have no agenda. Understand however that your goal currently is to become fluent speaking text with all kinds of different (and difficult) women. I keep it restrained enough not to lower my value. Yeah. I will always respect whatever u want H: I just want to be friends. and she is welcomed to enter my awesome reality. U want that in ur life H: How did you get that Note: She doesn’t ask. if u agree not to stop yourself from going after what u want H: I have to figure out what I want first Note: Again. I let her again know I am here to give her value and am asking nothing in exchange…just an open mind. I offered to make a deal with her previously. Now she’s implicitly agreeing to the deal. As long as she feels secure that I won’t use or manipulate her. It’s not cool. props to you. If she “happens” to get seduced. I can move forward to seduction. if you manage to hook up with hot high-value girls along the way. D: Yeah one thing I’m not is boring. no matter how annoyed you . But I encourage you to keep plowing through these sorts of interactions to extract knowledge and experience. I also want to point something out here. My plate is full right now…I’m not looking to take anything from u Note: I am making it clear that my life is great. but she shut me down with “That's ok. on the condition she first figures out what she wants.” This to me indicates agreement. While this chick is really cute. If things happen then they happen H: I see Note: She doesn’t argue with that reasoning. As opposed to disbelief: “How did you get that???” She’s on board with my line of reasoning. and that I have intent but no agenda. so be it.alternative sucks. she states “how did you get that. hers isn’t. D: Right. Is that cool Note: No. I am too D: The deal I was gonna make was I promise to stop if something makes u uncomfortable.
but I want to pursue the logistical thread. Can't stand it H: Hahaha seriously. but it coulda gone smoother.. D: Don't worry I would never take u there! D: Ok maybe on special occasions like ur birfday H: Lol thank god.' I will mirror this back later to help save the interaction. as opposed to combining them into one message. It was out of control. As usual..but I will let you know maybe we could . she still wants to go down the first thread. I was amazed Note: First note her use of 'hahaha. I will transition from general to specific statements about the venue. so you can have something to talk about. and sometimes you need to go into recovery mode. I opened with this.. Also. meaning. Her BT is up. we've taken this thread as far as it needs to go.. she posted on Facebook how lousy Saddleback Ranch was the night before.i kinda luv cholas :( H: Hahaha it was entertaining that's for sure. Case study 11: Dangers of multithread Here's an exchange that didn't go so well for a couple reasons. Not as ghetto but it'll work H: Lol thank you. so you have two threads going on at once. H: Ya the burbs Note: Ok. I guess ? Haha H: I dunno bout tonight i'm exhausted. Eash. D: It's like a car wreck in progress. I'll amuse her a bit by qualifying her on her intelligence. D: U live in burbank? H: Well one things for sure if you did bring me I would probably be one of the most intelligent chicks there. To do this. I eventually recovered.. D: Saddle ranch is a geeeehetto. The one you want to pursue runs the risk of being derailed by the other one.get. we are breaking the threads into two subexchanges.. I was like this is why I don't come here. The other problem is I pushed a little too hard for a meet-up and it back-fired. Time to move onto the invite. Another reason to lurk on FB. To do this. How can you not gawk tho. One problem is when you start working down a new thread but she refuses to let an old one die. As background. I try to push harder than not enough. D: Uhhh you'd be the ONLY intelligent chick there D: So let's do old town 2nite.
I throw out a game about me being a stripper. This requires a lot of comfort to work.. Just saying.meet up at some point D: Yeppers. which I never established since the initial interaction was very brief. Next day I open with call-back: D: OMG those sexy elbows!! Uh oh this is bad H: Haha I know they are hard to resist Note: We have started a game. No smiley faces. called “you have sexy elbows. Ttyl Note: Recovered. Notice again a little bit of exaggeration with !!.” no nothing.. I act as if I just now got her text and am responding 2 hours later. H: Lol what so you can kill me ?? Thank you very much for the offer but I don't know you well enough to be hangin with you at your house. which really fired her BT. I told her she had cute elbows in set. so I decide to run some recovery. I push for an alternative option. She shoots it down harshly. I could’ve ended “this is bad” with an emoticon. or give up. Note: She really doesn't calibrate with IOIs here. U can join me if u like Note: Rather than be in a date holding pattern.' She kept the exchange going after this. showing she wanted to play that game. not “know you well enough YET. I stayed up late too so may just stay in and watch flicks. I don’t want to use up all my tools early on. Ends with a period to show a definitive belief. D: Hahaha yeah the only thing I've killed is time! Brat. an ellipse. Rather than validate this. H: Lol ya khule. mostly going direct and doing a little rapport. D: Whatcha doing tmrw? Note: She goes dead air for almost two hours. Let’s go . Hey I will let you know what's goin on tomorrow I may go to my friends birthday D: Awesome I do some stripping on the side if u need. D: Argh I knooooow . which is far from ideal. I first try ignoring it (after a bit of dead air).) hey I’m hanging out with the boyz tmrw til 9ish. However. and leaving off the period mirrors her text the night before.. then show nonneediness by leaving the convo with 'talk to you later. Case study 12: Opening direct I had a brief first interaction with this chick. a period or !. She misspells cool and shows interest in meeting up to indicate everything's ok.” We’ll throw this joke back and forth a bit as her BT rises..
that woulda been my last winky for a while. This is abridged. D: Meh I'm old enuff to be ur babysitter! H: Ha! Ha! Think we went over this.. but the cockblocker insisted I was lying and that I was in my 20s. I need a lot of comfort first H: Huh? Ha. Ha!! Ur funny! U make me laugh. But it sounded like u were offerin more than just friendly comforting/babying.. so I get her number and we text. I assumed this would never go anywhere. Not to mention. The mother hen blew me out. I'm not even a coug yet!!! Only a puma! :) D: Grrr (She tells me she's got a flu and feels like shit) D: Need me to come baby u tonite? H: Ha.barhopping after! H: Yea we will see what’s up. U r so Wrong. me setting the frame clearly using ‘slippery’ and adding another wink. I move to the meet-up seeing that she’s responsive enough to comply. But a month later she finally answered my original Facebook message.. Ha. This wouldn't happen if u weren't so damn adorable .almost :) D: Thanks. She's complaining that she's too old..’ I’m also letting her know I have other plans if she declines. what r u referring to?! If I jumped to conclusions. I think ur not infectious by now H: Too sicky for company! And.. Notice the use of ‘hey’ which adds a sense of ‘oh by the way.as I remember D: . I maintain the frame I'm busy and she’s an after-thought in your social calendar. Case study 13: Salvaging a fucked up set I met this chick a month earlier and the set went horribly wrong.) H: Whaaat!?? I'm still laughing.. If this interaction were to have continued..ur pretty hot for 64 . no? I'm waaay older.I almost wrote u off. my bad.” and a flirty wink to reaffirm my direct approach on day 1. I will oil up my bows for you D: Perfect I like my bows slippery . when I said MILF. Right? D: I'm just flirting with u babe... Thx. I let her know I’ll be around with no plans after 9 (the 9ish indicates I’m superchill about my plans). We tread on some sexual territory about her lubed up elbows.) Note: So a little exaggeration of “know. I meant it figuratively! :) D: Yea don't get any funny ideas. don’t overuse it. I'll pick it up about an hour into the interaction. so nothing’s riding on her response. Wouldn't wanna expose u to my germs! D: How sweet of u.I think? Eh u couldn't handle me ..the older the better H: Puhleese.) H: Whaaat? 1964 or u mean 64 y/o?! :) well. I am actually a little older than her. my bones apparently are tht of 80 y/o!!! D: 80's is perfect! I love milfs.
Tigers got no integrity H: True.H: Nooo! I don't like adorable.. D: I don't like to put frames around relationships.. H: Think u'd be a fine friend!!! Will u be my friend?? Please? :) D: Not ego.except me:) D: I know that's why I've been wanting to get to know u.) D: I'm home!! Gonna stuff my face n shower H: Cool—will let u get to tht. Go ahead yoda:) D: You're in good hands. *^* (I was driving home while texting.. or they feel threatened by her. Just.. No! And btw. But u took soooo long to get back to me! H: Hee.. Lawyers kinda suck. U actually have no idea. In fact.) D: I have high standards too. Except where you're concerned. H: I am relaxed.. Ah—why do men cheat? Just watching extra—bout tiger woods. skittish... Guess tht's obvious:) Thx tho—it's nice of u to say I'm adorable *^* D: Well I was gonna say sexy as f@ck but not sure how you'd take it.so lame. Don't even know if you can snuggle D: We'll see. true..relax. Tht's good too:) H: Alrighty. I don't know how to flirt. Let's just take it day by day H: Where does ur confidence come from? What's ur bio? D: Haha guess you'll find out in time H: U r such a lawyer! U sure ur not?! D: No waaaay H: Yeah. Never really get it tht a guy is interested. JK. Kidding!!! You're awesome and should never settle H: Thx Decibel. kinda doped up w/all my cold meds! My sinus feels like it was roto-rootered H: Think ur last name good for first name:) H: Ya know. H: U can't stop me. & a little clueless about men in general. Confidence. no. And.. i'm the queen of snuggle.. Not tht u can get THAT!! Ha! Hee! D: I'm not too worried about that baby H: Ha. Just don't stuff ur face in the shower! Hee:) lol:) . I heed tht w/much weight.my. She really opens up and shows she's got substance and standards here. Ur full of ego & bravado eh?! Put ur money where ur mouth is my dear Decibel. Serious! D: I'm sure u get hit on a lot (She then gives a loooong text about how guys don't hit on her or think she's a sugar momma... Ha. there's more to me than my f**n sexiness! D: Oh no you're not gonna get my last name THAT easy.. D: Don't worry I'll teach u how to flirt H: Oh...:) I'm kinda old fashioned.
NOT compatible w/me at all. Yoda—ur supposed to school me! H: Ha! Ha! Randy?! Oh! Well—i do have tht effect on men:) lol:) D: Well that explains it.. How old? 30?! D: I'm 40 H: Shut the fuck up!!!! No way!! 1969? Or 1968? D: 69. do u? D: I like to feel. empathetic.. H: Funny. I have high stnds too. I don't have any use for the past H: Aren't u like 28?!! Maybe we're better as friends:) u should find someone ur age:) D: I'm older babe H: Oh.D: Noooo. That's a girl's job . But I was being dirty H: OMG!! Ur bad! It went over my head. She tells me she's been divorced for 3 years with no kids). My fav # H: Ha.. Right. likes & dislikes. H: Not sure if I should give u all my do's & don'ts. I'm not usually like this. & very in tune w/ feelings.u do seem rather affectionate w/ me but u really don't know me. caring—to a fault. Opposites attract tho .as u also said. D: Babe just be yourself D: Are u affectionate? (She then sends another long text about how affectionate she is and how important that is to a relationship.) (She goes into a long explanation of how much she likes to eat). (We then talk about our families.. Yr of rooster. True:) D: Not just feel physically but be present with her emotions. Uh oh this is bad H: My mind needs to be randied—totally gave u the heads up! H: Why bad?! Oh yeah. If a man doesn't love to feel he'll never be able to connect with women H: True. D: That's all in the past. H: I'm sensitive. D: Yeah I know. I tell her I am too). Cuz u may edit what u say or how u act—so I'll wait & see. Terrible! Terrible! :) U naughty boy! D: I knoooow! Something about u is making me randy H: Stop flirting w/o telling me!! I'm not good at it yet! Mr. D: Totally me too... H: Btw... A hot girl can get any guy randy---u an exception? Puuleese. Ur fav #? hmmm.
Esp my heart! (She then lists some of her talents) D: Wow sexy and talented. D: So a flask eh? U chomp cigars too?? H: Haha only when I'm really hungry D: Goofball D: U have fun w ur friend? Mischief?? H: Yea we were hanging out till almost 6 this morning....last yr? H: Haha no almost 6 years ago D: Awww ur besty. Well from the waist down.. So adorable H: Besty? D: Best friend? Come on H: Haha I've never used that word. U? (She tells me she loves culture and so she's addicted to traveling) D: I kno what u mean.. and demonstrate you are screening her.. I'm part Russian too.. Btr not try to steal anything gypsy.what's the catch?? H: Catch? What do you mean? H: I don't think there is one. The last convo ended with her telling me she couldn't text anymore because she had a flask in her purse.. But maybe ur different. Alright my little gypsy we'll hang out soon :) . I call back to this. Hmmm H: I don't know you'll have to let me know haha D: Yea now I'm really curious. H: Do you celebrate christmas? D: No Jewish. I set the frame that she's a little dork and I'm not really buying anything she says... Half russian half awesome H: Haha nice. D: We'll see. I've been to TJ H: Haha that's it huh? What's your ethnicity? D: Yeah :( My parents aren't too sure... Pffff H: Haha I live life to the fullest. D: Which part H: Ohh it moves around it doesn't like to stay in one place for too long D: Oh like a gypsy. D: Cool so what was that.. She was a close friend in high school. D: There's always a catch. D: Oh the things you've been missing.. So rather than apply logic to this..Case study 14: Qualifying/disqualifying Numbers almost always get more solid when you can get a girl to qualify herself. Here's a case of a girl in her early 20s who told me through the text that she would never date someone my age (40)...
I use that difference to make fun of her. Take some time for yosef gurl H: Don't know how to do that haha D: Oh I'll teach u how...Bought myself a very comfortable bed it's what I look forward to when I get home haha. I give her my “we'll see. When r u free? (She gives me a looong text about her schedule and how she's busy). They assume that if you are with a lot of girls.... H: Haha oh yeah? Well your a doctor. Rather than deny there's a difference.. She agrees to the meet-up. and so maybe just maybe worthy of my time.. So to head this off.pleasures.. D: Yea ur a slave. She might have gone sexual with the gypsy comment.. H: Ohhh got ya. so I open with the tease that she's a cigar-chomping.. Case study 15: Player vibe. It communicates I'm still not convinced she's worth my time.) (2 hours pass) H: Heyyy ahh! Sorry I didn't get back to you! Just got off of work. Whatever it is that keeps u sane... I do. booze-swigging broad. and asks that I be flexible with her busy schedule.. D: Hey . Little sound bites like “come on” and “adorable” and “pfff” set my authoritative and dismissive tone. you don't care about those girls and are just doing it for self-satisfaction. but she didn't. I'm a working girl though so be patient with the busy schedule Note: Alright.” disqualifier.. For me sleeping is the best... D: That's life.. food and music. turning them into jokes... When she tries to qualify herself by saying she lives life to the fullest. Still try to balance out so u don't go nutso.. D: Let's do it. Sounds good . so I stayed in a romance frame. That's not what I mean D: It means taking time to enjoy life's. I don't take her questions about travel or ethnicity too seriously... girls love romance. whether they're trying to qualify about sex or relationships or whatever. For me.... I'm good at taking care of myself. Health is your business. Next I tease her about her age. etc H: Yeah I'm feeling a bit nuts haha... The exchange ends with my light bulb going on that she may be unlike other girls. This one I use tons. I did a lot almost feel like I'm making up for it. I had this discussion with a girl. U need a spa day H: I would freaking love one!!! Work 14 hours tomorrow not feeling very excited about it. D: Ok.H: Ok.. Sux for u.. again I've had some issues with girls thinking I'm a player.tell me the secret haha D: I'm not too healthy. Which is fine. And music ...
D: I just got a new bed too.. But I always found myself settling. U don't seem judgmental. Finally after I fished for it. Pushing girls can help screen out the ones who really aren't interested. Girls have an energy that completes me... That's ok. so I dropped in that line. Oh wellz.too. versus when it's just a test. but typically I woulda continued that thread some more..yeah I'm better. So why arnt ya married or takin? D: I've been thru monogamous phases and I love cohabitation and all that.. That makes compliance tough. It's a high risk strategy. then as she becomes present with me and more invested.. Of course.. Guess u can tell I like girls H: Haha I see.. but she cools off in between. I love women. explicitly about girls being horny. D: Where does ur frymobile travel to tonite? H: Ahh sorry not open tonight. and takes place over many hours. Also note that this is a little abridged. It's ok I'm not here to judge D: Nothing wrong with playing games if they're worth playing. I feel it's better to push girls and then recover if needed (and in fact I did get this girl out). Case study 16: Pushing girls The girl above said she didn't want to date be because I'm too old. Also notice that my texts are really short at first.. Me neither Note: So I tried early on to move things sexual but she wasn't taking the bait. This is a sign of investment. . If I'm upset I play guitar for awhile and then I geel better. Til I meet someone who hits all my switches I don't plan on settling down H: Makes sense D: Guys are ok too but they're guys. and in this case it backfires somewhat.. Anytime I take on the mentor/teacher role (teaching her about sex or flirting. Players only care for their own desires H: Ha! You just play the game a bit differently. Those games r fun. versus if she were to be fully present with me and quickly responsive. But I alwas forget to eat haha... it is in the back of my mind that I need to push harder than usual to see if she'll comply. She probably passed out here. she told me she likes her bed. D: Drat I'm in the mood for kimchi fries.. I love food... it shows dominance.. Was getting too many complaints about the old one . they become longer and more detailed. I always try to be around that H: So your a player then :) j/k D: I get called that a lot but I'm not.. So while I started the following exchange with the intention of seducing her. Just got back from eating bobs big boy with my aunt and uncle.). I hit preselection hard and let her know I'm non-judgmental. U feelin btr? H: Sorry to disappoint... I really try to connect emotionally and satisfy them. She goes dead air sometimes 20 minutes between her texts. This means that I can get some BT spiking and horniness induction. etc). which is an obvious in for me.
. but still feels the need to challenge and shit test me. That's very sensual.. all of my cold reads have been hitting with her.. The power of text game is it can turn those brief meaningless sets into really deep investments by the girls. D: I'm a little too fond of boobies :( shhh H: Haha boobs are over rated! D: Whaaa?!? No way! How can u not love em? H: They're ok.. They're reeeeally cute :) H: I agree on the stomach elbows? How do you like my elbows? D: I'm a sucker for sexy elbows. Come on! I love your eyes too. Just didn't think you could get such an impression . Was thinkin about it but proly not H: Sorry! D: Why the fk u gonna wake up so early tmrw? H: Working for the hospital. and this was her attempt to control the frame. The stomach has to be in shape or no thanks. D: Obviously u left an impression. U probably hear that? H: Nope.. Your an ass doctor right haha.D: Did they have pumpkin shakes? Mmm H: I dunno I had the chocolate malt.... D: Pff then what's ur fav part on a girl? H: The back of the neck and the stomache D: Yea I can't argue about the neck. But I like ur elbows the most. I'm humble so they say. D: No then it seems like flattery which is insincere. ALL my sets are about 5-10 minutes. Not going to repeat. Move on to my goal....Like a proctologist? Note: She never told me what she does in the hospital.Or should I say “the man” haha D: Did u tell me this? I musta forgot.. Note: Ok... What do u do there H: I did. Is this weird?? H: Haha to each his own. I'm not gonna validate it in any way. I go for seduction. It was early enough that I could meet up.. :) nah not tonight have to be up at 4:30 ... D: Old skool. D: Ew no. I touch butts but mostly I do spines D: Asses do nothing for me. I'm sure u get hit on a lot.. she just opened the door for seduction by calling back to my comment on being an ass doctor. You just like giving complements Note: She's interested that I'm qualifying her. When this isn't possible. Also note what she says about the length of my set is true.. Instead. It's alright. U goin out tonite? H: Always was the OG in the hood. Esp how u use them H: What? You met me for like 5 minutes... enough introductory banter.( you going out? D: WTF 430?!?! Ur breakin my heart. Maybe ur humble H: Yeah.
She's too intellectual. I can't stand needy clingy girls. I run more cold reading. U have a confident strong energy which still manages to be feminine. Which I do. by keeping my responses dominant and brief. or do u usually like to relax? H: What do you think? D: No idea. It's a test.) H: Thanks what kind of energy am I giving off? D: Haha don't get a big head tho. H: I'm not just curious how I'm coming off energywise D: I assume u don't like leading in your relationships? H: I go back and forth depending on the situation D: What do u prefer? Do u like taking charge on dates and in bed. so I need to move this sexual now. I also disqualify her since I've been mostly pulling.. I like girls who can relax and be lead H: I'm extreamly independent though D: That's good too. It's good that she's investing effort. Tell me... She keeps trying to maintain an intellectual tone.” Very bossy and could've back-fired.. D: Yea I couldn't be with that kinda girl. The 'first' lets her know however that this is important to me as well. What turns u on in a man? H: Physically or intellectually? D: Physically first Note: I say 'first' though I have no intention of finding out what is intellectually stimulating to her. I need to make it personal again). She then tries to give me shit to see if I'll back down. “No idea.still not sure we click. Some girls like to wear the pants. H: I'm laid back D: That's good. I'm sure u know what I mean (Here she tells me a long story about some weird clingy girl she knew. There's a little chaos in there Note: I use haha to mirror her frequent use of it. :) D: Never said that! Note: So I ask her if she likes a dominant man. Tell me H: What? But I thought you figured me out. . but bad that she's depersonalizing the exchange.in such a short period of time D: It's ur energy and I can tell when a girl has depth D: Ur also really fuckin cute . but instead. That's ok for some guys but it turns me off. U shouldn't be codependent. it assured her of my dominance. because she wants a dominant man and this is a way for me to prove myself.
so far very compliant. I like a little something to squeeze and spank :) I never liked going down on a girl til a few months ago. even to the point of a girl telling me 'have a good life'. Again.. high risk and really it's only needed if you're getting a lot of resistance (serial flakers and so on). which I do often to the point of them getting upset. I've done this a number of times. At least if she shows up on the date.. . Is that one of ur turn ons? H: Really? What was the change of heart? As long as it's done correctly who doesn't get turned on by oral? You forgot to mention boobs. but normally I would back off. You would overlook small concerns if you were with a man who otherwise satisfied you H: True. you're headed for the friend zone. :) Note: Again. So my strategy has been to push until they have to decide to bail or stay. The recovery can look really logical and wordy. Now I love it.. Note: When I push girls.Didn't we make it clear though that we were only hanging out? No dates no one night stands so on and so forth D: I didn't say anything would happen. Time to push her sexually and see if she withdraws). she will realize there's a very good chance you're gonna try to fuck her. D: I could ask about your shoe size. soft skin. D: But can u cum getting eaten out? H: Getting a bit personal arnt you? D: I'm getting to know u H: Yeah but why do you find it so necessary to know me on this particular level Note: The temptation may be to apologize or back down. she went on a date with me 2 days later.. This lets me know she's still interested underneath it all. I live moment by moment and if things were to go in that direction I like to know what that girl wants. see that she's trying to stay dry and intellectual (using 'oral' instead of 'getting eaten out'). Besides you're not superficial. I like to be clear about my intentions.. By staying resolute with your intention to seduce.but those aren't the things I want to know H: Your still not answering the question :) Note: She's always offsetting her dominant or harsh comments with smiles.(She gives a long list of things she likes in a man's body.. D: Which one? Why I'm interested in u sexually? Because if it isn't a match on that level then there's no reason to get emotionally invested H: That's jumping the gun. there remains the possibility it will happen. because I want to push her. Ok. This is ok. I then need to recover. D: I like smooth hair. not too skinny. If you do.. I'm being present with her and feel that she's resisting.. but if I stay “alpha” she'll probably get repulsed.
I then do my usual recovery move by reframing this as her being shy. D: If u got it. Don't be shy H: Haha hey it's a classy pic..) D: Ohhh you're shy.I stay pretty modest for the most part. ..Case study 17: Being the punisher Sometimes girls will misbehave to test your authority and masculinity... How adorable. And get very thrown off once they get to know me. I think most people assume Im going to act a certain way based off of looks. D: Those steamy PG13 photos (Dead air. Dunno. Predetermined judgment sucks D: Yea I always assume the best but aside from that I let people prove themselves. Nice try!!! . Have it up in case someone wants me to model for them D: I think it's ballsy as fuck! But no I'm not stripping down for ur 'revolution'. D: You're not planning more public nudity r u? I've seen ur fb pics. D: Me too. so I continue. which I find adorable. That's really hard to find in this town. Plus hot girls are everywhere. H: Haha I'm going to start up a 2010 revolution!!!! It's going to be insaine! You can join if you'd like :) D: Uh oh what's this?? Scared H: Scared of change are we? you should welcome it D: Not scared of change.. I couldn't resist. I appreciate it a lot when I see it H: Yeah. D: Fo Sho.. you can in effect punish them for this. She musta posed half nude or something. Scared I might have to bail u outta jail! H: Haha I'm a drunken ninja they can't catch me. flaunt it H: Haha yeah... and this is demonstrated via dead air..Guess I was trying to go there not that it's real pin up looking but it's a start :) Note: Pretty sure we're talking about different pics. My revolution will come like a theif in the night D: Yea yea just don't let it come on me Note: Sorry.... Note: Shit test. I'm more interested in the other stuff H: Suuureee. No response. H: Haha what? Nudity....... Without totally blowing the set. I hate that.) H: Really? Hmm I'm really into vintage pinup stuff.. I give her some dead air.... Notice her ASD went up when I started going sexual..
It's going to get ya into trouble! D: Don't worry I'm not gonna cross u H: Hey Napolian was small. I push back until .. D: Oh yea I remember... I do defend what's right but I'm not an aggressive person.. I could fit u in my mouth H: Haha see! More predetermined judgment.. She is genuinely taken back by my punishment. D: But no biting.. and even then I just brush her off with 'meh' and telling her I'm gonna put her in my mouth (I use this one a lot because of the sexual undertones)..) D: As in you're asking for a spanking H: Ha! Who made you the punisher? D: Yeaaah laugh it up! My palm ur butt . She threatens to kick my butt at one point. Also notice I'm mirroring her use of 'ya. That's why I'm training in MMA Note: Uhm....And he conqured some countries D: Mmm I'm a lover not a fighter H: That's good me too for the most part.. Old school shit right there... I'll teach u once I get good H: Thanks. The nape.' Look at her BT spike: H: What? You? In MMA? That's intense.. I wanna hang out soon H: Aww thanks.. so when she does. I must've hit emotionally.) D: Believe me I know how to spank too H: You'll regret it little man! This little lady can get crazy and gangsterish.. We wil Note: Notice all the emotional ups and downs here.D: Punk H: As in punk rock!! .. Id check it out if I didn't have a piercing that got in the way D: Clit? That's cool H: Nope. It's easy H: Haha ok D: Ur a really cool chick... D: Meh H: Ok. Resist the temptation H: Don't worry it'll be strictly punches and kicks to the face haha j/k D: Ugh back in the doghouse u go H: Whhaaatt??? Oh was I being too tough? Note: This girl never uses exaggeration.. Ever been in a fight? D: Ya know I don't have that fighting instinct in me.. DHV. You've been warned! D: Ur tiny. and asks me basically where the boundaries are. Each time she pushes me. That would be cool. and how I take her to the edge and then pull her back. I let her know I'm not seriously reprimanding her: D: Nah I'm playing with u..
In essence. That's largely why this is so effective. . she doesn't see you blink... I am punishing her misbehavior. unless you're totally congruent. She will submit to my dominance. In text game. hesitate. In person. think.she just feels the full power of your dominance. This concept is one of the keys of text game. there will be all those subcoms to trip you up and she will see through it.she buckles.
work and a great social circle. but the responses are brief. you've just met a girl in a bar. chances are you'll never see this broad again. But we have a secret weapon. without much . Sure she was lucky to meet a new exciting guy. Whatever the reason – and often in the end you can only speculate – she isn't responsive.Chapter Four The Emotional Investment Scale A huge element of text game is investment. and that is our ability to get this girl emotionally invested in your interaction. specifically emotional investment. maybe she didn't tell you she was married. so her sexual needs are being met. Level 2. Maybe she got back with her boyfriend. Z The Emotional Investment Scale (EIS) Ok. maybe your wing said something to her friend that ended up blowing you out. No response. maybe you guys confirmed a date next Saturday. let us find out. maybe you bought her a drink. where 1 is no investment. She doesn't know shit about you. Maybe you made out with her.. A week or two later. that's just fine with her. She stays happy and busy with school. she will many times look back at that brief interaction. but she's hot and gets hit on by dudes better looking and more interesting than you all the time. And if your text game sucks. You are some random guy she spent a few minutes or an hour with. She responds to your texts. Is she invested? Are you more invested than she is? How do you get her so invested that she feels compelled to meet you to further your interaction? Well. So where is the impetus for her to see you again? Sounds like a dismal scenario.. and dismiss it as her having a fun night out. She is ignoring you completely. and probably if she never sees you again. First let's give a weight to her investment. The number is wood. Level 1. She may already be fucking a couple dudes. We will slowly get under her skin and give her that impetus to see you again. and 5 is a lot of investment. I do this through a 1-5 scale.
often with long wellcomposed texts. She is more deeply invested. You get a lot of oneword answers: “Yes”. You would like to move your interactions up the scale to 5 whenever possible. At this point. her level of emotional investment may swing back and forth with their fluctuating emotional states. She suggests the meet up. In this stage.” For whatever reason. this is all about her investment of emotions. you want girls to get invested. because at that point flaking becomes less likely. If she’s giving you tons of banter and logical stuff. that’s not the same as real EI. Recognize that girls being girls. Always determine her level of investment from moment to moment. She is sharing various personal aspects of her life. that is. and calibrate your own projected level. She begins responding consistently. but there is still a high chance of flaking. she may be willing to see you. Level 5. too. and after less delay. and after lengthy delay. if you're not sure if she's at a 2 or 3. Realize. She complies. She qualifies herself. at which point you can telegraph greater levels of investment. you want to stay at or just below her level of investment. In fact. You can still get girls to meet up at lower levels. First. she could seem genuinely excited to agree to a meet. You then game her to become invested. when you open the exchange after to you've first met her. When you suggest a meet-up however you may find she goes dead air. it's important to seem like you are not particularly invested. or at best gives a token ok that she will eventually reverse. Z Using Investment There are two sides to this coin. She is gaming YOU. but increasing her investment will tend to lower flaking. assume it's 2.thought. but don’t be surprised when she goes dead air or cancels at the last minute when that time arrives. She's satisfied having you only as a text buddy. Level 4. “Haha” and the death rattle of text game “Lol. When in doubt. She has become emotionally invested. flaking is much less likely. But on the flip side. You don't want to be at a 5 when she's at a 2. often giving suggestions. she is answering some of your texts. She appears to be emotionally affected by comments you make. NOT logical investment. always assume she's at the lower level and work from there. NOT banter. . Her responses reflect she is putting some thought into them and enjoys your texts. She ignores many of your texts. albeit superficially. but she's just not that into you. In particular. and nothing is ever a certainty in the dating world. Level 3. She shares a ton of intimate info about herself.
Before you send a text. When something makes you feel good. Here's an example. 5. she will want to meet up to prove she's as qualified as she says. Be powerful. giving her one piece at a time. when you give someone value. When she's letting you know how great she is and you're not biting. they will feel obligated to return value. Gain trust. 6. Tell a story with your texts. If you paint yourself as a loser who can't score. How can you create a path from point A to C while building mystery? Watch: her: U never told me how old u are him: Guess ur gonna have to find out wednesday. but you're wiser than that. Reel her in and then give the punchline after she takes the bait. Be dismissive and playfully condescending at times.How to get girls to invest 1. she won't bother investing. As they give you more and more value. Through the concept of reciprocation (read Influence by Cialdini). At one moment seem like you want to fuck her brains out. Build intrigue and tension. She randomly asked him his age. 3. you'll genuinely reward her for this. You can answer this directly. right? Consider this point A. In short. they will. Get her to qualify. she will often text me back a pic of her dog. horny. Make her feel sexy. her: Why wednesday? him: That's when we're hanging out cutie : ) her: :) Such confidence I like it 7. you put energy into obtaining more of it. Look for evidence she's participating in the exchange of value. 4. and amp up accordingly. For example. If you seem like a sexual prize worth chasing. Give positive emotions. ask yourself. DHV (demonstrate high value). Especially with sexual intent. and point C is inviting her out on a date. 2. if I send a photo of my dog to a girl. Show interest.. they find themselves invested in the interaction. excited or stroke her ego. she becomes invested in the plot because you've created suspense. try to feel that power and find a way to use that feeling. “do I feel powerful as a man when I say this sort of thing?” If not. then disinterest. Push-pull. Get her to comply. But don't validate all of her attempts. She feels compelled to keep turning the pages to get to the reveal at the end. Give value. This is like reading a murder mystery. Don't invest too much too early. Keep them guessing. A wing met a girl in a bar and he was having a text exchange after she left. happy. Sometimes when a girl says something you like. Have her open up about herself sexually.. some of it shouldn't impress you. then the next accuse her of being a bad girl trying . if a girl feels you aren't a man of power then she won't comply with you. she won't be able to trust you sexually. if she feels you're judgmental or inexperienced with women.
to corrupt you. and use these tools according to her level of investment. 3. if you go to a club Saturday and then text a girl Sunday at 9am. Now let's break it down specifically. Dismiss her attempts to qualify. Look for signs they are seeking rapport. then 2 to 3. or wild times you simply can't discuss. She's becoming invested. an explanation of when to use what: On the Y axis are the tools I use to generate EI. Don't always respond right away. Give her the sense you may become disinterested or distracted at any moment. Be non-needy in the way you time your texts.” 4. This is a good thing. “Wake up!! It's beautiful outside” requires no response and shows little investment. . Run sentences together. 9. Getting a girl who’s at a 3 to become a 4 is the easiest. Keep it simple. You can refer to it during your exchanges. How to appear like you aren't invested 1. 2.. the subtext is you don't get laid a ton. and reward this. Use shorthand. and you realize certain things inspire investment. Sometimes a . Don't answer her questions directly (see the age example above). That is. What tactics should you be using depending on where a girl is along the EIS? And how much of each tactic should you be employing given the level? Below is a graph that summarizes this. and so on. This is followed by 4 to 5. Don't ask questions. If she is mirroring you. Say “R” in place of “Are. Make observations and commands. Whatcha doin?” 5. Another more obvious way to indicate preselection is to mention other girls you know. the column number (1-4). In difficulty. 7. then under each. 8.) gets the point across. Preselection. you're basically telling her you didn't pull.” 6. First. such as moving a girl from level 2 to level 3. 9. Likewise if you jump through all her hoops and qualify yourself to her. Don't text her everyday. Say “We'll see. The EIS In Action Ok. 8. If she is offering a lot of intimate details about herself. I’d say getting a girl from a 1 to a 2 is most difficult. then she's trying to seek rapport. Fear of loss.. things that compel a girl to invest. “I'm bored whatcha doin” as opposed to “I'm bored. I will list each tool. fine. Use poor punctuation. you get that girls can invest emotionally in the text interaction. On the X axis are the levels. she is trying to build a connection. dates you were on.
a joke. Turn her on. Get compliance 1 and 2. adding more positive emotions will compel her to come to you for more. but keep tight reigns on it. and not yourself. The ultimate compliance test is her agreeing to meet up. she is not compelled to keep investing. She’s dead air. But if you try too hard to DHV it’ll look like you’re trying to impress her (hence too invested). As she gets more invested. 2-4. If you are more invested than she is. 4. you can amp up the qualifying harder. Give positive emotions You can do this with a simple emoticon. Intrigue/tension Start threads or make comments that compel her to think WTF? and engage in the . turn this from generic DHV to sexual DHV. Not applicable. Now that she’s getting more invested. 3 and 4. If you give no value. so unlikely to comply. DHV Demonstrate you’re a high-value dude. 2 and 3. she is becoming invested. 1 and 2. 1. You can do it lightly and see how she responds. Get her to qualify When a girl qualifies herself to you. etc. But you can test it out with small hoops that show your power and dominance. You can make some comments about a fancy club you’re going to. She’s not that invested. she will find herself invested in the interaction. Always maintain the frame that you’re high value. opening up about her sexuality. 1. Even her responding to your text is her complying. Once a girl gets in the habit of giving value. 4.Give value Through the theory of reciprocation. Escalate the value exchange. you will seem less invested. 2. you seem overly invested. so going into qualifying too early will blow you out. if I give value. She’s not really attracted. or turning her on sexually. Escalate from simple BT-spiking stuff to seductive stuff. Get her to qualify about her body and her sexuality. give more value to reward her. If she’s becoming invested. girls will feel compelled to return value. there’s no reason for her to either. 1. Too much of this and you seem to be amusing her. 3 and 4. You are the prize. so she’s not gonna suddenly start qualifying herself to you. Stay selfamusing. This is desirable. and by pulling back on the value. If you give a lot of value. etc. 3. Give a bit of value to start the process of reciprocation. sexually. She’s almost very invested. If she’s more receptive and returning value. Make her comply with things like sending you pics of herself.
the results will be bland. Seek rapport You may detect her attempts to seek rapport. But being non-needy will give her the feeling you are worthy. You are now more interested in leading. look for signs she’s seeking rapport. so there is no fear of losing you. 4. She’s getting on board. Getting chicks a little angry can serve to get them more invested.interaction. Push/pull Challenge is good. 2. Jealousy is a . 1. 1-2. Going heavy on the push-pull at times will spike her BT and get her to chase. 2-3. 2-3. 3. Then there is the subtle stuff like being non-needy in how you respond. 3. 4. If you stay too sketchy while she’s investing. Talking a lot about other girls will make you look like a player. she’ll lose interest. A ton of intrigue will often jumpstart a lack-luster exchange or dead air. This includes mirroring. and then reward this. she’ll work harder to get his investment. Push-pull provides a lot of that challenge (so does intrigue). Still good to sprinkle it in. Too much and she’ll lose interest. but since she isn’t at all invested. but this is a high-risk tactic. She’s very invested now. so fear of loss can really be amplified. So not relevant. and stay non-needy. A little gentle pushing and pulling will motivate her to get on board. 1. so why should you seek rapport? She hasn’t earned it yet. don’t be too dismissive or you’ll be punishing her investment. this won’t matter to her. 1-2. and hitting preselection will work to drive up her desire to invest. but it won’t hit very hard. when you respond. She’s not at all invested. or if you even respond at all to her. Mirror her just a tad to communicate a similar desire. 3-4. Preselection There is the obvious stuff like talking about girls or dates. and less about seeking rapport or mirroring. If she’s starting to invest. As with intrigue. She feels you’re worthy. Just sprinkle it in. but it’s less important. You can take away your attention. She may be a little affected by the fear of loss. She doesn’t care about you. and you may seek rapport. She doesn’t care all that much that women like you. Fear of loss If she thinks she’s about to lose a high value man. but now you’re gonna stop playing so many indirect games and be more bold and direct with her. 4. Back off the push-pull and give her more solid rewards for her high investment. 1. Complex wines come from challenging vine conditions. You can still build rapport here. 4. If you don’t challenge women.
3. opening a girl every day when she’s not invested looks needy. texting the living crap out of a girl who is not that responsive looks really needy. Not a rule. 4. Now that she’s investing. 4. you can demonstrate your own investment by using proper syntax. so keep your texts really brief. She’s not invested. 4.” In general. Don’t open every day 1-2. Don’t answer directly If she asks a question. you can set the rate of texting and she’ll comply. being very dismissive initially lets her know you are far from enamored. since she hasn’t earned it. You can still be dismissive here and there. However way you need to type this to make her feel it. for example you can use this effectively by not answering all her texts at night. Keep frequency of texts low Obviously. to let her know you aren’t invested much. Not as important. you can give a cocky response that doesn’t answer her. 1. Back off.subset of preselection but also can be used here. Sending more texts than warranted looks like you’re really invested. you can reward her by being more straight-forward and honest. Use this often. 3. You can start texting more often. based on your personality. 3-4. particularly with shit tests. Keep it simple If I send a simple winky face or a “Hey!” it shows very little investment on my part. 1-2. so it’s more important at this point to be clear and direct. Calibrate your rate of sending her texts according to her EI. 2. so continuing to be cagey won’t generate that trust. 1-2. She’s very invested. keeping it simple is a main mindset behind text game. shorthand and abbreviations. She’s invested. Just like above. Not relevant. do it. Long complicated texts show a great deal of investment. 1-2. so it doesn’t matter much about your frequency. 3-4. but still useful to remind her of your “alphaness. 3. As she invests. Don’t give her the impression you give a fuck. Poor syntax You can use lousy grammar and punctuation. usually briefer than hers. again calibrating. She’s not on board. A beautifully composed text gives the impression you put a lot of thought into it. but sometimes useful to back off and let a day or more pass without texting her. She needs trust to comply. Do whatever you want. As long as she’s really invested. . and she needs to invest to earn your investment. When she isn’t invested much.
1. Sometimes you can ask a question which by social standards requires a response. 2.Don’t ask questions Make observations or comments. like “did u get home safely?” But don’t ask too many questions because it shows you care about her response. to get logistical info. Back off the questions. 1. 3-4. Sometimes they don’t seem too eager to invest. Realize however that at lower EI levels. etc. Be explicit about your invites. which you don’t. your value has dropped. 4. Don’t need to beat around the bush. and work more on making statements. Start feeling her out for a desire to meet. to seek rapport. 2-3. flake rate is higher. It’s ok to ask more questions. She is unlikely to agree to a meet up if she won’t even answer your texts. . Not always. but at a level 5 she will often be the one doing the inviting. but usually. and yet will agree to meet. Asking questions is high investment…if she fails to respond. without seeming too invested yourself. Implicit invitations This is a way to feel out her readiness to meet up. Not relevant. You’re leading now with the assumption she’s gonna follow.
you are asking her out in a non-needy way. you called her a liar.. add an invite. Free after that Had a long day. and end the text with another small giggle.. Though less implicit. Implicit invitations include: Hey I'm free tonite! Whatcha doin later? Hangin with the bros til 9.guess I'll let you make it up to me..Z Inviting Girls Out You can make an explicit invitation like. Example: D: So what kinda music do u like then? H: IDK everything D: Haha liar! Whatcha doin tonite? Mommy's letting me borrow the car for an hour When she told you she listens to all kinds of music. Awww you deserve a foot rub Or if she flakes: Hmmm. We should totally go In so doing. she responded. “Hey do you want to go out with me tonight?” but this is weak. You are not necessarily putting her on the spot or making her feel essential to your happiness. which is absurd and probably will get a laugh. you can make statements that start with “we should” and “let's”: Too tired to go out. Set the frame that girls earn your time: You deserve a nite out with me. and then cap it off with another BT-spiker. with the assumption that she is already on board. Other lines you can use after the invite: “I'm out on parole” and “I locked myself outta the house. and now you can send back some funny response. In the same text. Find ways that make statements..” . and while you plan on doing something it would be great for her to join. Communicate that you have shit going on. Let's have a movie night Tmrw's midget wrestling nite. You then throw out an implicit invitation. BTIS: The Buying Temperature-Invite Sandwich You just made a comment. We deserve mojitos Here you are “asking” her out without asking her out.
If a girl is apologetic. If she's invested and gives a low-level flake.Z The Flake Almost everyone gets flakes now and then. and the excuses seems reasonable.. If it's a high-level flake. Guess I have to reserve my time with u months in advance! . The caveat to this is if you appear emotionally reactive to her flake.. lameness typically goes down. and your response to it can increase attraction. that excuse rates high on the lameness meter. she calls instead of texts. tries to plan another night to hang out. See ya out in the field!! . gives a lot of thought to her excuse. Texts I may throw out after a flake: Wow talk about playing hard to get. the excuse is stupid like she forget she was supposed to wash her dog that night. it can be viewed as a shit test. so make sure to use with caution. be more understanding. Cancel! I'm cuter Ugh ur kidding Hmm starting to think ur some flaky LA girl.. As her investment in you goes up.. Respond to a flake according to the lameness. And that's it.. Many times this is a good thing. 10 is a lame excuse). Always look at the lameness of the excuse and rate it from 0 to 10 (0 is a legit excuse. it can lower attraction.. and she seems totally without remorse. then that excuse rates low on the lameness scale.) Ok ok just don't make me wait another year missy!! :p Ok fine I guess I'll let u make it up to me. If she's not sorry. you can be more confrontational.
dB is the resident keyboard jockey at casanovacrew.ABOUT THE AUTHOR Decibel has been in the seduction community since 2007. An introduction to inner game. JTR. why you need it. He co-hosts the podcast The J the Ripper Show with CC's founder. including AA and attraction. You're reading it. Books include: PUA Field Guide. The definitive collection of anything you'll ever need to know about pickup. Text Game Primer. What it is. and has made several appearances at their seminars. how to get it handled. Inner Game Primer: Stop Being Such a Fucking Pussy. and has twenty years of experience macking broads.com.com. A beginner's guide to the basics. fucker. Intermediate Pick-Up. . You can download all his free shit at puafieldguide.
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