This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
Do you have the ultimate relationship? Do you have your dream job? Do you go to bed at night and tell yourself, “Great
Job”? Are you where you want to be in life?
If not, what’s standing in your way? Do you beat yourself up because of fear and hesitancy, leaving yourself even weaker for the next round? Do you hate yourself every time you see or hear that someone else getting what they wanted out of life and thought,
“Everything is so easy for them; it’s no wonder they have so much confidence!”
You are not alone. Everyday people are struggling to have a good relationship, job or just to feel good every now and then.
It’s a confidence game that sometimes feels impossible to win.
The good news is you can get some base hits, a few home runs and inch-by-inch you CAN crack the confidence code! What if I told you the only thing standing between you and what you want in life is YOU –– your belief systems, your inner
voice, your ability to define what you really want and take action?
What if I said the hardest part is taking that first step and making the decision to do something about your struggle with
confidence? Confidence might not be a magic bullet that tears through all life’s difficulty, but it’s the definitely the right place to start.
Even the most confident people fail as often as they succeed, if not more. Tony Robbins is the first to tell you that at one point
in his life he lost everything. Donald Trump publicly went bankrupt, not to mention countless others. Some are famous, and some are probably in your backyard. It’s a tough economy and the most important thing you can do to creating “emotional fitness” to survive all the curveballs life is throwing at you is to focus on your building your confidence.
It’s not just about setting a goal; it’s about understanding the bar you set for your life. Can you leap over it? Or do you step
over it? Or worse, are you a professional limbo dancer?
All kidding aside, it truly is about knowing with absolute certainty how high you want to set that bar. Think about Donald
Trump. When Donald was rebuilding his empire, did he set his goal to be a millionaire? No. He set his sights to be on top and be a billionaire again. Something most people never even dream about, and that’s ok—making ends meet for some of us is a great bar too!
Is Donald more confident than other people? Possibly. He certainly needed confidence in himself to make it happen the first
time around, not to mention the second. The truth is, he probably was shaken and did lose some confidence in himself. But because he had done it before, he believed he could do it again. He didn’t lower his bar when the chips were done. He knew what to do, learned from his mistakes and took action.
Most truly confident people realize failure is an opportunity to learn and get better. They don’t use failure as a reason to deem
themselves incapable or subpar. It really is the simple things that make the difference.
Fight for every inch, stay focused and you can do anything you want. But it starts with YOU. By making small changes,
breaking up your routine, and tapping into the passion that’s been stagnant, you can finally create the life you deserve.
Just by reading this list, absorbing the tips and tricks best suited to you, and even potentially reading a couple of the
recommended books* in this guide, you have taken action to start living a better, more confident life…TODAY.
*From the editor of Pick The Brain: In this guide, you will notice weʼve added links to our favorite books that have made a difference in our lives. It is a powerful suggested reading list that supplements the tips. So if you need more information on a particular tip, you can either choose to click on the title, which will take you directly to amazon.com right then and there. Or, you can wait and check out the resource list at the end. As you probably noticed, we recently redesigned our site for better readability and in doing so got rid of many of the ads that cluttered the site. Since we have staff to pay and servers to maintain, we hope you donʼt mind that our links do include a special code from Amazon so that we can be receive a small percentage of any sales. (Of course you do not pay any more because of this, but if youʼd prefer to click on a “non-afﬁliate” link, we did include those as well on the resource list---itʼs your choice and we tried to make it easy for you.) Most importantly, please know we always appreciate your support and want to do our best to add value to you and your life. We love these books and feel great about sharing this list, but please donʼt buy a book you donʼt need, wonʼt read or share with a friend or loved one! We look forward to hearing your success stories from the tips and any comments if you do decide to check out a book. (Itʼs like our own private book club—sort of!)
happy. 4.The Courage to Be Free: Discover Your Original Fearless Self. PickTheBrain. It's amazing the difference you'll experience.Com . then letting them run through your ﬁngers or dipping your feet into a cool stream. KEEP YOUR ENGINE OPTIMIZED. CONNECT POSITIVE EMOTIONS TO YOUR BODY. Eat the best diet possible. Always consume saturated fats and sodium in moderation. Play it whenever you need a quick pick-me-up or boost in conﬁdence. Instead focus on the positive things you bring to the table. Understand most people's actions have nothing to do with you. and avoid anything heavily processed. and understand that you simply canʼt make unhappy people. fresh foods. A terriﬁc book to help you keep your body running at its best is. when you're giving your body the fuel it needs to properly function. Make a personal soundtrack that gets you pumped and moving. inside and out. Try reading . take time to sing and dance along with your tunes. Humans are more tactile than you realize. You don't have to go out of your way to do this. and engaging your sense of touch can spark creativity and satisfy your need for a rich sensory diet. It's easy enough to interpret the actions of other people that hurt you and waste precious time and effort agonizing on what you did wrong and how you could have done something different. FOCUS ON YOU.1. 2. 3. If possible. Don't neglect your sense of touch. simply take the time to enjoy activities such as scooping a handful of smooth pebbles. The Full Plate Diet. GROUND YOURSELF THROUGH TOUCH. Focus on whole.
messy environment saps energy. Do a brain dump of all the tasks hanging over your head. you can take meaningful steps to live a life with the time and energy necessary to make your passion a primary focal point in your life. Behave. but have no idea for a book. start a blog or take a writing class. A great read to help you fuel your inner ﬁre is. Create your personal style that makes you feel good! A really fun read that is supported by great review is Freakin' Fabulous: How to Dress. But a cluttered. This doesn't mean youʼll instantly have a neat black line through every one. BUY CLOTHES THAT FIT. Drink. Create a clean living environment for yourself. and then take care of them. Create A Life That Tickles Your Soul. and Generally Be Better than Everyone Else. Entertain. Discover your passion. We all have individual tastes our homes should reﬂect. 7. What is it you love doing most? Once you discover your true passion. but are too old for American Idol. Don't wait for some magic ideal weight to wear clothes that help you look your best. Take the time to rid your space of items serving no purpose and set an effective organization system in place. Though clothes don't make the person. one by one and once and for all. PickTheBrain. body-ﬂattering clothes can provide an enormous boost in your natural self-esteem. 8. 6. You'll feel a tremendous sense of relief once you have either ﬁnished these tasks or given yourself permission to ﬁnally let them go. If you love to write. GET RID OF YOUR TO DO LIST. The very best book on the planet for this is Getting Things Done: The Art of Stress-Free Productivity. If you love to sing. But well-ﬁtting. Speak. FOCUS ON PURPOSEFUL PASSION. get a karaoke machine. Decorate. If you're transitioning between weights. it's hard to feel conﬁdent when your outsides are sending the wrong signal.Com . perhaps you'll only want a few new outﬁts. STREAMLINE YOUR ENVIRONMENT.5. A quick read that is extremely helpful with simple tricks and tips is 101 Ways to Clean Out the Clutter. Taking care might mean you decide there are a few things that simply arenʼt worth doing. Eat. You'll feel more relaxed and better able to use your home as a place to unwind and recharge.
old friends or making new ones who love what you love will empower you. Find an exercise you enjoy and incorporate it into your daily or weekly routine. Feeling connected to your community and those around you fosters a greater sense of belonging to something larger than yourself. Keep It Going. Take the stairs. this book is worth the read just to laugh Cubicle Warfare: 101 Ofﬁce Traps and Pranks. publications and assorted media that are sure to make you laugh. or a snarky blogger that makes you giggle…just make it a part of your daily routine to laugh. Physical ﬁtness is crucial for your health. You will feel much happier and more conﬁdent once your body is ﬁt and active. Find a YouTube channel that delights you. and movement is an essential need for mental well being. Even if you arenʼt a practical joker. go on a short walk at lunch with a co-worker or by yourself. 10. If you are shy. your brain releases endorphins that ﬁll you with happiness and conﬁdence. Build Networking Skills -.and Leave a Positive Impression! 11. Having trouble getting a conversation? Try the inspiring read. or even hate your neighbors. and no longer sluggish. too. but take time to smile and say a few words to the people living near you. Compliment their ﬂowerbeds or ask about their pets or kids.9. When you laugh. MOVE YOUR BODY. PARTICIPATE IN A COMMUNITY. Make sure you include in your daily routine the people. This can be online or ofﬂine. You don't have to be best friends. allowing your body to release some of the tension built up during the day. going online and connecting with family. LAUGH AS MUCH AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN. The Fine Art of Small Talk: How To Start a Conversation. PickTheBrain. Get to know your neighbors.Com .
Afﬁrmations are a great way to start learning how to pump up your life. a well written book on the subject is a book called The Healing Power of Pets: Harnessing the Amazing Ability of Pets to Make and Keep People Happy and Healthy. You should set aside small time blocks dedicated for relaxation and recreational activities. Feeling as though you're at the beck and call of anyone who asks you for a favor is a conﬁdence killer because you will be constantly afraid of what will happen if you say no. Make it a game and reward yourself when you set a clear boundary. The difference in your results will amaze you when you choose to focus on doing one thing rather than constantly letting a myriad of phone calls. CHANGE YOUR STATE NATURALLY. PickTheBrain. Caring for a pet and experiencing the unconditional love pets give back is a rewarding. 15. enriching experience that builds trust and conﬁdence. Limit your alcohol intake. If you arenʼt married. too. or donʼt have kids or a parent to take care of. 13. read this Seth Godin favorite: Making Ideas Happen: Overcoming the Obstacles Between Vision and Reality. Once you realize things can and will go on without your involvement. And they even keep you healthy. Learn to work uninterrupted. this book is a must read to get you back on track! When I Say No. START YOUR URGENCY JUNKIES DETOX PROGRAM. If you struggle with this in your life. Worse.12. consider getting a pet.Com . you may feel as though you can't come out of your shell without it. if the problem isnʼt yours. That moment when you ﬁrst understand you don't have to say yes to every request is extremely powerful. you can build conﬁdence based on doing those things that matter to you most. Remember. And this doesn't only apply to work. Pets also encourage their owners to remember their playful side and motivate them to get your bodyʼs much needed exercise. you shouldnʼt add it to your list. Light drinking is ﬁne. I Feel Guilty. emails and other assorted interruptions blast your time to pieces. BECOME A CARE GIVER. START SAYING NO. 14. but excessive drinking can have a detrimental effect on your health and leave you chronically short of energy. Get started today with this book Afﬁrmations--Your Passport to Happiness. If you are an idea person but canʼt ﬁnd the time or willpower to take action.
Assess your relationship with food. Short. 19. You're also cheating yourself out of good feelings. it's never helpful framing your food choices as naughty or bad. Make time for family and friends.Com . If you learn to control your breathing. A phenomenal book to read that lays this philosophy out clearly is Three Deep Breaths: Finding Power and Purpose in a Stressed-Out World. 18. The Friendship Factor: How to Get Closer to the People You Care For. Embrace quiet. not to make you feel better. DUMP YOUR ARTIFICIAL LOVER. 17. a sense of security and a sense of deep belonging when you neglect the most important people in your life. Proper breathing is one of the core elements to feeling calm and centered. Eat to fuel your body. Although it's true some foods have greater nutritional value than others. Realize you can be comfortable when alone with your thoughts and youʼll be surprised how much you enjoy the silence. This book really gives some great ideas on how to feel better without food. shallow breaths leave you feeling constantly anxious and on edge. PickTheBrain. take 10 deep breaths and put your hands over your head. It's easy to assume youʼll catch up with them later. TREAT YOUR INNER CIRCLE LIKE AN IMPORTANT CLIENT. but life is too short and precious to make those who love you wait. Choose a more matter-offact mindset about your eating and donʼt allow it to become a destroyer of your self-esteem.16. Relax. The next time you are stressed or upset. Try reading this book to get closer to the people you love. START BREATHING. 50 Ways to Soothe Yourself Without Food. Then take action. Don't be eager to ﬁll every waking moment with activity and noise. you will have a tool to keep your cool in even the most stressful situations. You might surprise yourself.
When you ﬁnd yourself wondering if you are good enough. BE DEMANDING. It might be a cliché. EXERCISE YOUR MIND. A simple 8 minute exercise can change everything according to Victor N. Being able to effectively deal with stress will give you the faith to try new things. but start ﬁling them in a “kind words” folder. This sounds corny but when you get a compliment. Smile.Com . Try reading this book to get motivated Why Good Things Happen to Good People: How to Live a Longer. Unfortunately. Getting clear and asking for help can be a real conﬁdence booster as shown in the book Help Is Not a Four Letter Word: When Doing It All is Doing You In. (Even an annoying chain email from a friend is a sign they were thinking of you.) 22. learning to quiet the mind actually means you can control your own thoughts and gives you control over negative. Most importantly. but in doing so you'll also reinforce the internal thought that you are a good and worthy person. hold a door open.20. Meditation is an awesome way to relax your mind and body. Davich in his book 8 Minute Meditation: Quiet Your Mind. PickTheBrain. put it in a ﬁle. you can read it and remember all the great things you have done and the difference you've made in the lives of others. CREATE A KIND WORDS FILE. Itʼs the gift that keeps on giving! You'll not only spread joy to others. Realize you can ask for things. Practice guided meditation. Surprise others with your generosity and see what happens. and the ability to deal with whatever life throws your way. get someone a glass of water. You'll be surprised how many people would love to help you if only they knew what you needed. Healthier. But the truth is you donʼt always know what you want or need. or if you ever do anything right. 23. but practice random acts of kindness every single day. DO SOMETHING NICE FOR NO REASON. most of us believe our loved ones should be mind readers or anticipate our needs. All those kind words and thank you emails might junk up your inbox. 21. Change Your Life. Happier Life by the Simple Act of Giving.
(We will be releasing a Pick The Brain mind mapping process for building your lifeʼs blueprint—coming soon!) PickTheBrain. just like your mind and heart. Your brain is a muscle that needs to be used. tested and engaged.” When we forget to honor our values. Youʼd be shocked by how much better this method is for planning than a linear list of to-dos. (Look for Pick The Brainʼs workbook coming soon!) 26. Read or listen to books on a regular basis. MAKE YOUR MONEY WORK FOR YOU. Try reading this book explaining to you the principles on how the brain works and how we can use them to our beneﬁt at home and work (it even explains why multi-tasking is a nono) Brain Rules: 12 Principles for Surviving and Thriving at Work. Your dealings with money should never driven by fear. If you want to know how your emotions play into money. and School. we begin to feel unmotivated. FEED YOUR BRAIN. Sister. Money is a tool. Employee. lost and frustrated. Then ask yourself—“how can I be a more passionate mother?” or “how can I be more creative as a sister?” A clear picture of what you value most in life makes it easier to devise a plan allowing you to live by those values and embrace the roles you have been “playing. Youʼre in charge of your happiness. try reading The Smartest Way to Save: Why You Can't Hang on to Money and What to Do About It. START MAKING MIND MAPS. Father. 27. Reading helps us understand the thoughts and views of others and provides us the skill we need to better understand the world around us. Are you passionate? Funny? Loving? Creative? Deﬁne those values and hold them tight. Even a casual game can do wonders for improving clarity.Com . It's neither a measure of your worth or something inherently evil to be avoided. STOP ROLE PLAYING.24. 25. Home. retention and overall learning capacity. Boss. Daughter. Money will never equal automatic happiness or erase your stress. Seeing your ideas in an easy to understand visual will spark your inner creativity and allow you to see how many great ideas you can produce. Brother. How many roles do you play each day? Mother. 90% of the world is made up of visual learners and thinkers. Son…itʼs endless and can become mindless if you donʼt understand your core values.
Be gentle with the people in your life. The Law of Attraction is focused on positive vibrations. youʼre guilty of the blame game. Body language is everything—what is your body telling others? If you want to learn more about this fascinating subject read The Deﬁnitive Book of Body Language. Get regular health. By focusing on issues. rather than being at the mercy of circumstance. Don't be quick to criticize others. Ghandi said. 30. FOCUS ON ISSUES. Read The Anger Trap: Free Yourself from the Frustrations that Sabotage Your Life to be a happier person and a better communicator. BUILD CONFIDENCE IN OTHERS. and always do your best to understand their general perspective and unique set of challenges. NOT PEOPLE. we're more open to seeing the best in ourselves. Take responsibility for your actions. but the more you accept responsibility. Your kindness to others will inevitably rub off on yourself. When you acknowledge your role. 31. END THE BLAME GAME.” When we allow ourselves to see the good in others. If your sentence starts with or has the word “you” in the ﬁrst 3 words. be determined to make it happen. PARENT YOURSELF. “Be the change you want to see in the world.28. you will be focused on how you can contribute better to the situation and focus on solutions to your problems. But you must be congruent. and send a powerful message to both your mind and body that you matter. 29.Com . Resolving problems with “I feel” rather than “you did” or “you make me feel” will be an instant conﬁdence boost and helps you let go of the anger you might be holding onto. wellness and dental checkups. the better your conﬁdence will be. and many people believe the universe gives to those that give from the heart. It might surprise you. Make a commitment to take charge of your health. you are accepting responsibility for your actions. PickTheBrain.
Use SPF and apply frequently. and send those who are most susceptible down a long and winding road of depression. For practical ways to build your budget try reading The Budget Kit: The Common Cents Money Management Workbook. Get plenty of sunlight. Treat your personal expenses just like you would at work. open the curtains wide and bathe yourself in natural light. Tie entertainment expenditures to a job well done in the health column. Even if your job keeps you working indoors. STOP GOSSIPING. Not only is playing games a great way to have fun and connect. Indulging in rumors might make you feel good for the moment. 34. Your brain and body will both appreciate it. and rightly so. winning is a fun and easy way to build conﬁdence or even a skill set. they keep the circuits in your brain active and healthy. To understand its power to transform you read Vitamin D Prescription: The Healing Power of the Sun & How It Can Save Your Life. 35.Com . Always take the high road and you will never have to worry if you are part of the problem. Play board games with friends and family. Two fun games you might not have played are Bannangrams and Qwirkie. Vitamin D is essential. WORSHIP THE SUN. PLAY GAMES. but realize the sun is your friend when you are prepared. Darkness and artiﬁcial light can adversely affect your moods. 33. Besides.32. but eventually you'll start worrying what others are saying about you. BECOME A CFO. Encourage others to address the problems head on and never be a harbor for negativity. Learn to make a budget. (Check them out and let us know what you think!) PickTheBrain. Claiming control of your ﬁnances is one of the ﬁrst steps to having a healthy attitude when dealing with money.
Painting. invites them to hear fully what you are trying to say. Laser focus on doing 1 thing better per month betters your chances of making it stick. as your actions donʼt tie to fear of losing an artiﬁcially high self-image. or just lowering your voice. Try this for fun with your family. GO BACK TO KINDERGARTEN. almost make them strain to hear you and see how the level of engagement goes up. If you want to know how to get back to the basics of being grateful. 39. Being humble is paradoxically one of the best ways to act with conﬁdence. Itʼs true. PickTheBrain. A classic read is The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It takes 30 days to break a habit and the biggest roadblock is when you try to quit multiple things at once. pottery. 38. Practice gratitude daily. Break a bad habit such as drinking. but we can all experience the sense of accomplishment that comes alongside being creative with our hands. smoking or texting while driving.CREATE ONE NEW HABIT EACH MONTH. try reading The Lost Art of Gratitude (Isabel Dalhousie). Changing your bad behavior will not only leave you healthier or safer. it can be magical.all of these types of handcrafts are tremendous for the mind and spirit. knitting. but also prove you have the power to alter your habits when given the proper tools.Com . shouting or shrieking. We might not all be skilled and talented artisans. Try writing down one thing you are grateful for each night before you go to bed. BE GRATEFUL. Get their attention. Get in touch with your creativity and read The Creative Edge: Exercises to Celebrate Your Creative Self. The loudest voice isn't necessarily the one people hear.. On the other hand. Learn the power of a whisper. Tony Robbins says in gratitude there can be no fear. Don't leave arts and crafts back in elementary school.36. SPEAK SOFTLY. 37. Try it. speak quietly.. Take note of the many wonderful things you have in your life and appreciate them for what they are. People tune out when you are shrill. whispering.
This book. but you'll also discover that those people will be genuinely happy and eager to help you however they can. ﬁnd a community where you feel like you naturally belong. The trick is ﬁnding something you really want to do and making an internal promise to follow through with your goal no matter what. it still will empower you.Com . A great read on minor changes making a major difference is One Small Step Can Change Your Life: The Kaizen Way. you might be surprised at what could manifest. Yes. Even if you want a jet. even if your social needs are different. Let them know you're thinking of them. Treat your family. If you have no one to write to but yourself.00 per month and knowing youʼre closer to your goal can be invigorating. What we give is what we get. Understanding the difference between men and women in interpersonal relationships is also extremely powerful. Everyone has a basic need to feel connected. 42. service people and any people who have less power than you with respect and kindness. create an imaginary friend or lover and write to them. RSS FEED YOUR FAVORITE BLOGS. 41. but you must tie achievable mini goals to your dreams if you expect them to come true. Sure. Your goal can be anything from running your ﬁrst 5K to cleaning out your garage. The Respect He Desperately Needs explains it well. Perhaps you could tell them a story you think they'll ﬁnd amusing. 43. The mind needs to believe you can do it to help you get it done. Take time to write one person (even yourself) a letter each week. If you ﬁnd it hard to get your heart on paper. Love & Respect: The Love She Most Desires. WRITE WEEKLY LOVE LETTERS. Even if all you do is enjoy the content and watch others engage. we all have the crazy thing on our vision board. TAKE BABY STEPS. you will be doing the right thing. PickTheBrain.40. you might really enjoy The Art of the Handwritten Note: A Guide to Reclaiming Civilized Communication. Keep your connections strong and your conﬁdence will grow stronger. TREAT OTHERS HOW YOU WANT TO BE TREATED. Even if you are an introvert. Knowing you have a community to fall back on gives you the freedom to take the risks that give ﬂavor to your life. always. ﬁnding a way to make or save an extra $100.
47. There is absolutely no reason why you have to live in fear of taking a day off and losing your position. not for how someone else may see them.Com . A real eye opener to the world of happy marriages is The Exceptional Seven Percent: The Nine Secrets of the Worlds Happiest Couples. HELP OTHERS. Create routines that give structure to your day. touches and compliments are all little ways to show them how much you love and appreciate who they are and what they do for you. MAKE RULES FOR YOU. more productive. NO MORE DATE NIGHTS. Smiles. (More on personal branding to let the world know who you are once and for all from Pick The Brain—stay tuned! PickTheBrain. Buy things because they are useful or beautiful to you. Want to do it quickly? This book will tell you exactly how! The Creative Edge: Exercises to Celebrate Your Creative Self. Be generous with your help. If you have kids. drop them off at your parents or a babysitterʼs house and sneak back home and do nothing. prestige or whatever is most important to you. 46. 45.44. and for that one day you are giving yourself a well-deserved break. Consistency and structure isnʼt just important for children to thrive. connect with them as often as possible. not just on date night. Take the rare day and revel in knowing you will continue being wanted and needed. Guilty pleasures add variety to our life. having a set routine gives you the foundation needed to create days that are less hectic. and happier overall. It is always best to avoid the endless pursuit of acquiring more and more material goods in an effort to shore up your feelings of worth. PLAY HOOKY. BE YOUR OWN BRAND. When you give others the tools they need to succeed you are never hurting yourself. Despite what commercials tell you. If you have been holding onto the fear that more for others means less for you and you will experience abundance for all. you can never buy selfesteem. Don't buy into status symbols. 48. If you have a romantic partner or spouse. A happy. Occasionally indulge in a bit of hooky. Although spontaneity is something to embrace. healthy relationship is truly a blessing.
51. Make your peace. Of course. Indulge in a buffet of brainteasers to build your attention. Do things differently on occasion –– just because you can! Whether taking a different route to work or trying a different restaurant for brunch. You must love yourself ﬁrst and this book is a fantastic read In the Meantime: Finding Yourself and the Love You Want. THANK YOUR BODY & YOUR BRAIN. you will free yourself. Crack an unexpected joke at work—see what happens. Understand there are ways to self-promote that arenʼt sleazy. happier life. attention. PickTheBrain. you will still want to make improvements to stay healthy and active for years to come.49.Com . and focus. it's up to you to make sure the word gets out. mixing things up is an excellent way to widen your comfort zone. or how wrinkly or short or tall you might be. In fact. 52. Act like you are healing and you will heal. But ﬁrst you must ﬁrst understand no matter what size or shape. Forgiveness is freedom. especially when directed at your self. Don't carry around the leaden weight of old grudges and blame. tell your body itʼs ok to rest. FORGIVE YOUR ENEMIES. move on and live a more conﬁdent. Try reading Free Yourself to Love: The Liberating Power of Forgiveness (Faith Words). If you're genuinely proud of who you are and what you can do for yourself and others. and sharpen your concentration. you are a person deserving of love and digniﬁed treatment from yourself and others. CELEBRATE YOU. if you start to see the people who hurt you as your greatest teachers and thank them. Make peace with your body. 50. cheesy or in any way vain. Try doing brain exercises (theyʼre fun!). A highly recommended resource is Broccoli For The Brain where you will ﬁnd 74 mindbending puzzles scientiﬁcally proven to develop the skills of concentration. When youʼre run down. enhance your memory. GET JIGGY WITH IT.
Not sure how to implement this? A good book to check out is Everybody Wins: The Chapman Guide to Solving Conﬂicts without Arguing.Com . both in your life and in the lives of those closest to you. Most importantly. rather than an afterthought. spouse or parent in the same way? Imagine you talking to your daughter the way you talk to yourself. Imagine if somebody tried to treat your child. Always choose your relationships over an idea. change “I will not get upset” to “I will feel joy and be aware. get rid of “donʼt doʼs” and add “will doʼs. Eat regular meals. EAT. try reading What to Say When you Talk To Yourself. 55. PickTheBrain. Knowing when to prove your point and when to let go helps eliminate unnecessary strife. 54. your conﬁdence and self-image will always rest on shaky ground. Keep your phone in your pocket. Check out this great read Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship. As long as you treat yourself with unkindness. need or must? Switch your verbiage to words such as "want to" and you'll be surprised how much easier tackling your to-dos can be. Take a close look at how you treat and talk to yourself. Are your thoughts toxic? Watch your language. It is impossible to function at your optimum level if you don't give your body the nourishment needed. You don't always have to be right. Start using internal conversations as your way to get back on track. CHANGE YOUR LANGUAGE.” For example.53. 56. KILL YOUR CRITICAL VOICE. TURN OFF YOUR PHONE.” How you speak with your partner and your expectations in a relationship will make or break the union. 57. Make sure keeping yourself fed is a priority. Is it peppered with "burden" words like should. Would it be motivating? Start comforting yourself when you make a mistake. Compulsively checking email and text messages only conﬁrms your time belongs to others. BE WRONG.
Yes. it is always great to get compliments and love from others. BE COMFORTABLE. 60. Find strength in others. If you don't know something. Try reading Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior. achy feet is never a good way to project power or poise. FAKE IT UNTIL YOU MAKE IT. yet you must also realize that when your conﬁdence is based entirely on feedback. sure. Be clear on what you bring to any table. Most importantly. This books breaks it down into 4 basic questions Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life. a week and month. Wear comfortable shoes whenever possible. 59. Sounds corny. Whatever it takes.Com . Do you ever notice how happy you feel when you are comfortable? Many people struggle to actually stay happy. KNOW YOUR VALUE. Many times the only person in your way is you. Being self-assured means you look within yourself to ﬁnd the reassurance necessary in knowing you are truly worthwhile. 61. Accept your limitations. No self-image police are at the door checking your license to be conﬁdent. Find someone you admire and be that person for a day.58. This book simpliﬁes the concept and helps you get started: Rock What You've Got: Secrets to Loving Your Inner and Outer Beauty from Someone Who's Been There and Back. there is never shame in asking for the answer. but imagine what a self conﬁdent person would do and do exactly that. but don't hang all your selfesteem on that particular hook. ASK QUESTIONS. Being comfortable is a great place to start. PickTheBrain. You know all those things you think everyone else just knows? They donʼt. Being unafraid to admit you don't know is the ﬁrst step to ﬁnding the answer. Distraction stemming from tired. the best way to build your conﬁdence is simply to ask yourself better questions. youʼll ﬂounder when in the company of those who are indifferent or hostile to you.
you'll see just how much you have to offer others. Volunteer your time and talents to those in need. This book might look like itʼs just for kids but I assure you itʼs not! Have You Filled a Bucket Today: A Guide to Daily Happiness for Kids. Invest in your life. Laugh at yourself and delight in your own humanity. By changing your mind. you can change your mood—and your mood is tied directly to how you feel about yourself. FIND A MENTOR OR COACH. There is no shame in consulting with a coach or therapist to leap the hurdles standing in the way of healthy self-conﬁdence. While money can't buy happiness. PickTheBrain. 63. Get in the mood by reading this book on people who are changing the world How to Change the World: Social Entrepreneurs and the Power of New Ideas.Com . Never be afraid to get assistance to live the life you deserve. ﬁgure out what causes you to act in opposition to your ﬁnancial wellbeing. Watch yourself. If you ﬁnd yourself spending money you don't have. BE A VIP. Playing it cool is a good way to teach yourself to ignore honest emotions. When you reach a goal. 64. This applies to reading self-help books and blogs. Try reading I Will Teach You To Be Rich (itʼs great!). MAKE FUN OF YOU. while hammering the thought that thereʼs something shameful about your true self. take time to rejoice before moving on. Control your spending. Not only will you be helping people in your life who need a hand. Others can offer us a fresh perspective when dealing with old problems. Never be ashamed to show joy or enthusiasm. 65. See yourself as an actor in a movie. BE A KID AGAIN. SPEND PURPOSEFULLY.62. Try reading this great book Feeling Good: The New Mood Therapy Revised and Updated. Celebrate everything you can publicly. Updated Edition. Keep your spending in line with your life purpose. A VIP is a Volunteer Interested in People. 66. Find the beauty in the personal drama of your occasional missteps or the irony in your anger or sadness. as well. as you would a business. feeling as though you have no control over your ﬁnances is detrimental to your self worth.
Art. Be a connector and conﬁdence will feel natural. It's just a picture. 69.. Who would have thought Eminem could be so proliﬁc? Live in the moment and enjoy each day for what it is. Even the bad news bears had each other! Gather friends on all sides. humor and kindness. PickTheBrain. If you really want to look better in photos. There's nothing wrong with being un-photogenic. ask yourself why? There are very few super models out there.67.Com . The only limit to your success is your belief system. allow people in your life the pleasure of having physical memories of you. SHOOT FOR THE MOON. If you want more help with being present a great book to read is Fully Present: The Science. 70. If you see a camera aimed your way and want to duck. it means making lasting and valuable connections. so why not SUPER SIZE them? You might not be able to fully realize every single one. and even those get photo-shopped. practical things you are strangling your spirit. A classic read (and a must if you havenʼt already) is How to Win Friends & Inﬂuence People by Dale Carnegie. 68. START A GANG. In addition to looking for help. but by forcing yourself to dream of small. try cheating and reading this book: Doug Box's Guide to Posing for Portrait Photographers (Your photo album wonʼt know what hit it!). LOVE THE CAMERA. When networking. LOSE YOURSELF. Embrace dreaming BIG! These are your dreams. Be present in the moment and take action TODAY. You only get one shot at this life. you are looking backwards. An oldie but goodie for book reading is The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success: A Practical Guide to the Fulﬁllment of Your Dreams. look for people YOU can help and bring them into your inner circle. but the more you avoid images of yourself the bigger a problem this becomes. and Practice of Mindfulness. See each photo opportunity as another example that you are important to someone. Look for people who enrich your life with their generosity. If you are ﬁlled with guilt. Networking doesn't mean circling around the stars. don't just focus on the A-listers.
come prepared to do your part. Acknowledge it. Communication. but be aware of exit strategies to the situation as they come. Acknowledge your fear and understand it's there for a reason. PickTheBrain. and Love. and heart felt your welcome could boost everyoneʼs conﬁdence. A decision made from anger or fear will not serve your higher purpose. Don't indulge in wishful thinking when you can instead take practical steps to ensure youʼll do the best you are capable of doing. Strength. 74. The Success Principles(TM): How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be. especially if they feel genuinely appreciated for their help. Most people enjoy helping others. the best step is often taking a step back. A wonderful book on this subject is Positive Energy: 10 Extraordinary Prescriptions for Transforming Fatigue. and Fear into Vibrance. Be focused on outcomes and donʼt take your eyes off the ball. BE PREPARED. Overcoming any fear starts with awareness. Do they serve you? Or are you just wasting energy trying to escape something that you canʼt avoid. 73. GIVE YOURSELF TIME OUTS. Knowing you are prepared is the best way to fend off feelings of incompetence. If you're asking for help or advice. Fear is not a sign of weakness. When things are spiraling out of control. RESPECT OTHERS. BE AFRAID. Every meeting should have a goal with an agenda. 104 Activities That Build: Self-Esteem. A simple thank you. Itʼs a sign you are entering unknown territory and near growth. Teamwork.Com . After you have cleared your mind. Stress. Anger Management.71. Then push past it to experience the inner growth that will boost your natural conﬁdence. 72. Jack Canﬁeld is an expert on how to do this and shares it in his book. Be respectful of other people's time and energy. Fear can save your life and fear can be your leverage. try a new activity! Some great suggestions can be found in an excellent read. You can't see a clear path when you're in the midst of chaos. Coping Skills. Self-Discovery.
Relief leads to success. Intuition is an extremely powerful force and your unconscious mind can pick up on clues well before your logical brain. Thereʼs never a need to panic. PickTheBrain. you'll be able to tell the difference and act accordingly. Ask people to share their stories whenever possible. LISTEN TO YOU GUT. To leverage power of focus that will empower your life. Play with Legos. blocks. BUILD THINGS. anything fun that uses your hands! Fiddling with traditional toys is a terriﬁc way to unlock the open. If you would like to try and strengthen your intuition please read The Intuitive Way: The Deﬁnitive Guide to Increasing Your Awareness. always listen. it will be light the path to building your conﬁdence. 76. Put systems in place for keeping schedules and managing lifeʼs to-dos. 77. The exact system isnʼt important. Trying to tackle too many things at once will add stress. the more conﬁdent you'll naturally become. Six Thinking Hats. It can take time separating reﬂexive fear of the unknown from intuitive warnings. No matter how big or small. Finding your creative space will give you more conﬁdence to tackle your projects. Open your creative channels with. If your instinct tells you something is a bad idea. The more you can relate to other people and understand how much we all have in common. By choosing to connect with your fellow human beings you can move your brain into a higher gear in an extremely powerful way. BE A GOOD LISTENER. but as you learn to trust yourself and listen to your body. If you want to improve your relationships through listening. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL. you'll be relieved once you have a set way to handle your schedule and tasks. ANDS OR BUTS. try reading the book Just Listen: Discover the Secret to Getting Through to Absolutely Anyone.75. Even if your schedule requires outside assistance. read The Power of Focus: What the Worlds Greatest Achievers Know about The Secret of Financial Freedom and Success. easy relationship you once had with your creative self. 78. NO IFS. You can learn so much from the experiences of others. Tinker Toys. only that you have a deﬁned way to deal with things.Com .
what happens if you fall from grace? Your self-esteem and conﬁdence must originate from the awareness that you are a good and worthy person who can tackle everything life throws your way. Working on your areas of weakness is great. Still not sure who you are? To ﬁnd out. by reading an interesting book called The Complete Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook (Worst Case Scenario) (Let us know if you can think of a worst-case scenario they didnʼt cover). PickTheBrain. Learn to embrace the positive and you will boost your ability to tap into the conﬁdence inside. ﬁgure out why. DEFINE YOU. It should never be how well you compare with others. Doing better than you did last time can be a great feeling! 81. GET RID OF BACK UP PLANS. read The 10Ks of Personal Branding: Create a Better You. If you are a rainy day people. but so what? That doesnʼt mean your inner YOU will evaporate. Constant negativity puts you in a position where you are unable to see opportunity and tend to view every potential ally as unworthy. Read more about turning the negative into positive with The Five Things We Cannot Change: And the Happiness We Find by Embracing Them. Comparing yourself to others is a sure path to misery. The trick is to know they donʼt need to deﬁne you. People are not chain link fences. If you don't have anything nice to say. Even if you stack up well now. 80. REMEMBER WHAT YOUR MAMA SAID. Focus on the plan for your ultimate success and avoid back up plans because they divert your energy. Just remember you have strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else. Beware the doom and gloom mindset. The best outcome is always possible and you do in fact deserve it. take the worry off your plate. Your weaknesses only deﬁne you when you let them. Self-improvement is always a good thing.79.Com . Always focusing on a “worst case scenario” will dim your ability to be conﬁdent. You might lack strength in one area. you generally push away everyone and everything that could help you. Therefore. 82. SET PERSONAL BENCHMARKS.
85.83. Receive. 84. Any successful person will usually tell you that luck was a big factor to success. When you experience failure. to overcome it. FAIL MORE OFTEN. Our biggest teachers can also be our biggest critics. BE LUCKY. choosing wisely what you should take to heart.Com . Making Mistakes and Thinking Big. often fail to achieve a goal. But the only way to be in the right place at the right time is to work hard. Evaluate critiques carefully. a lot of hard work gets you what you want out of life. try reading The Now Habit: A Strategic Program for Overcoming Procrastination and Enjoying Guilt-Free Play. Learn what you can from any criticism that comes your way. you learn it's not the end of the world and can be the beginning of something better. and then choose to simply toss the rest away. This doesn't mean the only thing you should do is work. Procrastination can sometimes be the biggest barrier we face. Avoiding failure at all costs is a sure way to avoid the risks that can make you happiest. If you ﬁnd yourself putting off what you could do today. FIND YOUR TIRE KICKER. But failure is not something to avoid. Expecting things to fall into your lap and plugging away without ever enjoying anything are two extremes to always avoid. There's no way around it. Not sure what good could come of this? A great book on the power of failure is Celebrating Failure: The Power of Taking Risks. who push themselves. People. and Seek Criticism in Our Lives. PickTheBrain. A great resource is Criticism Management: How to More Effectively Give. The critiques you ﬁnd yourself most resistant to can often teach you the most about yourself. it's part of the creative or entrepreneurial process. your fears and what you truly value.
PickTheBrain.86. Love for your passions. Saving for your future can make you feel far more conﬁdent in your present. 90. and spreading kindness as often as possible. 89. Knowing you have the strength to bend and adapt to anything will give you enormous conﬁdence. Love for your friends. START A NEST EGG. The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. You donʼt need a million dollars to feel like a million bucks.Com . ENJOY LOVE. Check out this book on how to become your own power tool: The Energy of Belief: Psychology's Power Tools to Focus Intention and Release Blocking Beliefs. CHANGE YOUR STATE. PAY IT FORWARD. Remember something nice that someone did for you. Changing your state is sometimes the simplest way to get through the day with your smile intact. Remember a funny joke. Itʼs easier than you think. 88. imagine something that will trigger a natural high. Soon you will have a fund that can help you in an emergency and keep you walking taller every day. how you feel love and how those you love connect with you is one of the easiest things to learn. What goes around really does come around. A rigid determination to have things the way you feel they should be is a recipe for unhappiness. Then take the time to pay that kindness forward (preferably with interest). The next time you feel yourself dipping toward a natural low. Look at your life in terms of who and what you love and embrace the love the universe sends back. BE FLEXIBLE. Wasnʼt the biggest suffering your perception of the situation. Think of a time when you didnʼt get through a problem. Understanding the different love languages of how you love. Recognize that circumstances change and that all youʼve built wonʼt be destroyed if you change course accordingly. Love for your family. Love for yourself. or a time when you couldnʼt stop laughing. 87. Make sure you set aside a small amount for your future each and every month. Live a life full of love. Try this breezy but excellent read. Make sure you are treating each day as the gift it is. rather than the situation itself? Change your beliefs and you change everything.
but self-esteem is the part of you that believes you actually deserve them. Altering too many areas of your life at once will leave you overwhelmed. either. Simply look at this list as a set of prompts to get you thinking about ways you can amplify your inner YOU. PickTheBrain. but our belief is that if you start building your confidence. Once your inner YOU blooms. It can be a chicken and an egg. Don't try to implement them all at once. Just one or two positive changes a week on a consistent basis will get you on the road to having a strong sense of inner confidence. you'll find things you once thought impossible are now easily within reach. frustrated and ready to quit before you even begin. Remember.Don't think you must follow all 90 tips to succeed. It is because of their high confidence that everything seems easy for others. With healthy self-esteem and a can-do attitude. having confidence means you know you can get things done. you hold onto it by increasing your self-esteem.Com . you will understand you had it backwards before. not the other way around.
so please feel free to choose your titles from the non-afﬁliate links on the right in the resource list below. thatʼs ﬁne too. We want to help you be the best YOU that you can be. and would like to purchase any of the titles highly recommended by our staff. if you would rather not buy your book through the afﬁliate link. you can choose to use the links above or in the left column on the next page in our resource area. which we can use to continuously improve our content. Have fun growing yourself! PickTheBrain. if you ﬁnd any of the above book suggestions helpful.Com . Or. This link means each book you buy will give a small percentage back to Pick The Brain. friends and family.As we mentioned.
to/ptbrecommends02 Create A Life That Tickles Your Soul. Guy Finley http://amzn.to/ptbrecommends005 PickTheBrain. Suzanne Zoglio h?p://amzn.Suggested Reading List Book Title with non-afﬁliate link Author PTB Custom Link* The Courage to Be Free: Discover Your Original Fearless Self.to/ptbrecommends001 The Full Plate Diet Stuart A. Seale http://amzn.Com .
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