SAMPLE MODULE FORMAT

Beginning work, developing work identity and financial independence.

TITLE OF THE TOPIC OBJECTIVE : Family Life Cycle : To identify the cycle of family life significant in understanding the dynamics of a family. Stage 3: Premarriage stage INTRODUCTION KEY TO REMEMBER ACTIVITY INPUT ACTIVITY : : ENERGIZER : Title of Topic : (Film Showing, Role Playing, Seatwork, etc.) SYNTHESIS : :

During this phase the main tasks are:

Selecting partners Developing a relationship Deciding to establish own home with someone.

QUIZZ SUMMARY KEY TO CORRECTION: :

Stage 4: Childless couple stage

During this phase the main tasks are: GROUP NO. ____: LEADER - ___________________________ SECRETARY - ________________________ MEMBERS - _________________________ _________________________

Developing a way to live together both practically and emotionally Adjusting relationships with families of origin and peers to include partner

Stage 5: Family with young children

During this phase the main tasks are:

Realigning family system to make space for children

LESSON 1: The Family as a Unit: Family Life Cycle and Developmental Tasks

Adopting and developing parenting roles Realigning relationships with families of origin to include parenting and grandparenting roles Facilitating children to develop peer relationships

Family denotes a group of people affiliated by consanguinity, affinity or co-residence. Family life has its own rhythm and while this model has its roots in the idea of a nuclear family, the developmental challenges are shared in families with different structures. This model is based on that of Carter & Goldrick (1999) and Carr (2006)

The stages of family life

Stage 6. Family with adolescents

Stage 1: Family of origin experiences During this phase the main tasks are:

During this phase the main tasks are:

Adjusting parent-child relationships to allow adolescents more autonomy Adjusting family relationships to focus on midlife relationship and career issues Taking on responsibility of caring for families of origin

Maintaining relationships with parents, siblings and peers *Completing education Developing the foundations of a model of family life
Stage 2: Leaving home

During this phase the main tasks are:

Stage 7: Launching children

Differentiation of self from family of origin and parents and developing adult to adult relationships
with parents *Developing intimate peer relationships.

During this phase the main tasks are:

juggling child rearing, financial and household tasks. Second-order change also occurs with the realignment of relationships with extended family as it opens to include the parenting and grandparenting roles.

Resolving midlife issues Negotiating adult to adult relationships with children Adjusting to living as a couple again Adjusting to including in-laws and grandchildren within the family circle Dealing with disabilities and death in the family of origin

Stage Four: Families with adolescents Emotional transitions are hard here for the whole family because we need to increase the flexibility of a family's boundaries to include children's independence and grandparents' frailties. As noted above, second-order change is required in order for the shifting of the parent-child relationship to permit adolescents to move in and out of the system. Now there is a new focus on midlife marital and career issues and the beginning shift toward joint caring for the older generation when both children and aging parents demand our attention, creating what is now called the sandwich generation. Stage Five: Launching children and moving on This is one of the transitions that can be most emotionally difficult for parents as they now need to accept a multitude of exits from and entries into the family system. If the choices of the children leaving the nest are compatible with the values and expectations of the parents, the transition can be relatively easy and enjoyable, especially if the parents successfully navigate their second-order changes, such as renegotiation of the marital system as a couple rather than as simply parents. Other developmental changes include development of adult-toadult relationships between us and our grown children, inclusion of in-laws and grandchildren, and dealing with the disabilities and death of our own parents. (See Letting Go of Our Adult Children: When What We Do is Never Enough for what can happen when transitions in this stage become particularly bumpy.) Stage Six: Families in later life When Erik Erikson discusses this stage, he focuses on how we as individuals either review our lives with acceptance and a sense of accomplishment or with bitterness and regret. A family systems approach, however, is interested in how the family as a unit responds and sees the key emotional principle as accepting the shifting of generational roles. Second-order changes require us to maintain our own interests and functioning as a couple in face of physiological decline. We shift our focus onto the middle generation (the children who are still in stage five) and support them as they launch their own children. In this process the younger generation needs to make room for the wisdom and experience of the elderly, supporting the older generation without overfunctioning for them. Other second-order change includes dealing with the loss of our spouse, siblings, and peers and the preparation for our own death and the end of our generation. Copyright 2002, Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT

Stage 8: Later family life

During this phase the main tasks are:

Coping with physiological decline in self and others Adjusting to children taking a more central role in family maintenance Valuing the wisdom and experience of the elderly

Erik Erikson's Stages Recognize Life as Opportunities to Grow

Dealing with loss of spouse and peers Preparation for death, life review, reminiscence and integration 1
Stages of the Family Life Cycle BY ARLENE F. HARDER, MA, MFT "Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one." Jane However How did your parents react when you left home? Did your mother want to camp out in your dorm room to make certain you were okay and wouldn't make a mistake she was sure would ruin your life, and did she keep your room just as you left it, a shrine to your childhood, and a place you could return any time you wanted? Were you glad your mother was always there to do your laundry and were you eager to tell her everything you did because you knew it made her happy to know? On the other hand, when you left home for college, did your mother breathe a sigh of relief, wish you all the luck in the world, and turn your room into her study? And were you glad to be out of the house, away from all her rules and regulations, and were fairly mum about your activities, and didn't ask for her opinion on what courses you should take? Each family approaches the transition from living-at-home to launching-into-the-world a little differently. As a family moves from one stage of life to another, they have to navigate new territory in which the rules of the game have shifted. It can be very stressful. During the middle of a stage within a family's life cycle, patterns of behavior become comfortable and everyone rather knows what is expected of them. Then, seemingly suddenly, there is a shift. A "child" (though now in her twenties or, often these days, even in her thirties) begins her own family and the parents need to back away. Intrusions into their daughter's life may be welcomed by her, because she is used to relying on her parents for support. But in-laws butting into her life may not be welcome by her new husband. Such is the making of motherin-law jokes. Few of us make the transition from one stage to another seamlessly. But it is helpful to know that there is a pattern of life that flows through all families. Of course, the age at which an individual leaves home and the time when he or she enters into a relationship and has children will vary considerably from one person to another, and from one culture or era to another. Nevertheless, the stages of the family life cycle remain the same. The following description of these stages is based on my own graduate school work and a variety of resources, such as Family Therapy: An Overview by Goldenberg and Goldenberg. Stage One: Single young adults leave home Here the emotional change is from the reliance on the family to acceptance of emotional and financial responsibility for ourselves. Second-order changes (see sidebar) include differentiation of self in relation to family of origin. This means we neither blindly accept what our parents believe or want us to do, nor do we automatically respond negatively to their requests. Our beliefs and behaviors are now part of our own identity, though we will change and refine what we believe throughout our lives. Also, during this period we develop intimate peer relationships on a deeper level than we had previously and become financially independent. Stage Two: The new couple joins their families through marriage or living together The major emotional transition during this phase is through commitment to the new system. Second-order change involves the formation of a marital system and realignment of relationships with extended families and friends that includes our spouses. Stage Three: Families with young children Emotionally we must now accept new members into the system. This isn't hard initially because babies come to us in sweet innocent packages that open our hearts. Unfortunately, in the middle of the night we may wonder what we've gotten ourselves into. Nevertheless, we adjust the marital system to make space for our children,

BY ARLENE F. HARDER, MA, MFT "How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these." George Washington Carver Our personality traits come in opposites. We think of ourselves as optimistic or pessimistic, independent or dependent, emotional or unemotional, adventurous or cautious, leader or follower, aggressive or passive. Many of these are inborn temperament traits, but other characteristics, such as feeling either competent or inferior, appear to be learned, based on the challenges and support we receive in growing up. The man who did a great deal to explore this concept is Erik Erikson. Although he was influenced by Freud, he believed that the ego exists from birth and that behavior is not totally defensive. Based in part on his study of Sioux Indians on a reservation, Erikson became aware of the massive influence of culture on behavior and placed more emphasis on the external world, such as depression and wars. He felt the course of development is determined by the interaction of the body (genetic biological programming), mind (psychological), and cultural (ethos) influences. He organized life into eight stages that extend from birth to death (many developmental theories only cover childhood). Since adulthood covers a span of many years, Erikson divided the stages of adulthood into the experiences of young adults, middle aged adults and older adults. While the actual ages may vary considerably from one stage to another, the ages seem to be appropriate for the majority of people. Erikson's basic philosophy might be said to rest on two major themes: (1) the world gets bigger as we go along and (2) failure is cumulative. However, for a different perspective on the effect of stages on personality, be sure to read the sidebar for how some people feel there is always a chance to learn what we missed earlier in life. As you read through the following eight stages with their sets of opposites, notice which strengths you identify with most and those you need to work on some more. 1. Infancy: Birth to 18 Months Ego Development Outcome: Trust vs. Mistrust Basic strength: Drive and Hope Erikson also referred to infancy as the Oral Sensory Stage (as anyone might who watches a baby put everything in her mouth) where the major emphasis is on the mother's positive and loving care for the child, with a big emphasis on visual contact and touch. If we pass successfully through this period of life, we will learn to trust that life is basically okay and have basic confidence in the future. If we fail to experience trust and are constantly frustrated because our needs are not met, we may end up with a deep-seated feeling of worthlessness and a mistrust of the world in general. Incidentally, many studies of suicides and suicide attempts point to the importance of the early years in developing the basic belief that the world is trustworthy and that every individual has a right to be here. Not surprisingly, the most significant relationship is with the maternal parent, or whoever is our most significant and constant caregiver. 2. Early Childhood: 18 Months to 3 Years Ego Development Outcome: Autonomy vs. Shame Basic Strengths: Self-control, Courage, and Will During this stage we learn to master skills for ourselves. Not only do we learn to walk, talk and feed ourselves, we are learning finer motor development as well as the much appreciated toilet training. Here we have the opportunity to build self-esteem and autonomy as we gain more control over our bodies and acquire new skills, learning right from wrong. And one of our skills during the "Terrible Two's" is our ability to use the powerful word "NO!" It may be pain for parents, but it develops important skills of the will. It is also during this stage, however, that we can be very vulnerable. If we're shamed in the process of toilet training or in learning other important skills, we may feel great shame and doubt of our capabilities and suffer low self-esteem as a result. The most significant relationships are with parents.

3. Play Age: 3 to 5 Years Ego Development Outcome: Initiative vs. Guilt Basic Strength: Purpose During this period we experience a desire to copy the adults around us and take initiative in creating play situations. We make up stories with Barbie's and Ken's, toy phones and miniature cars, playing out roles in a trial universe, experimenting with the blueprint for what we believe it means to be an adult. We also begin to use that wonderful word for exploring the world"WHY?" While Erikson was influenced by Freud, he downplays biological sexuality in favor of the psychosocial features of conflict between child and parents. Nevertheless, he said that at this stage we usually become involved in the classic "Oedipal struggle" and resolve this struggle through "social role identification." If we're frustrated over natural desires and goals, we may easily experience guilt. The most significant relationship is with the basic family. 4. School Age: 6 to 12 Years Ego Development Outcome: Industry vs. Inferiority Basic Strengths: Method and Competence During this stage, often called the Latency, we are capable of learning, creating and accomplishing numerous new skills and knowledge, thus developing a sense of industry. This is also a very social stage of development and if we experience unresolved feelings of inadequacy and inferiority among our peers, we can have serious problems in terms of competence and self-esteem. As the world expands a bit, our most significant relationship is with the school and neighborhood. Parents are no longer the complete authorities they once were, although they are still important. 5. Adolescence: 12 to 18 Years Ego Development Outcome: Identity vs. Role Confusion Basic Strengths: Devotion and Fidelity Up to this stage, according to Erikson, development mostly depends upon what is done to us. From here on out, development depends primarily upon what we do. And while adolescence is a stage at which we are neither a child nor an adult, life is definitely getting more complex as we attempt to find our own identity, struggle with social interactions, and grapple with moral issues. Our task is to discover who we are as individuals separate from our family of origin and as members of a wider society. Unfortunately for those around us, in this process many of us go into a period of withdrawing from responsibilities, which Erikson called a "moratorium." And if we are unsuccessful in navigating this stage, we will experience role confusion and upheaval. A significant task for us is to establish a philosophy of life and in this process we tend to think in terms of ideals, which are conflict free, rather than reality, which is not. The problem is that we don't have much experience and find it easy to substitute ideals for experience. However, we can also develop strong devotion to friends and causes. It is no surprise that our most significant relationships are with peer groups. 6. Young adulthood: 18 to 35 Ego Development Outcome: Intimacy and Solidarity vs. Isolation Basic Strengths: Affiliation and Love In the initial stage of being an adult we seek one or more companions and love. As we try to find mutually satisfying relationships, primarily through marriage and friends, we generally also begin to start a family, though this age has been pushed back for many couples who today don't start their families until their late thirties. If negotiating this stage is successful, we can experience intimacy on a deep level. If we're not successful, isolation and distance from others may occur. And when we don't find it easy to create satisfying relationships, our world can begin to shrink as, in defense, we can feel superior to others. Our significant relationships are with marital partners and friends. 7. Middle Adulthood: 35 to 55 or 65 Ego Development Outcome: Generativity vs. Self absorption or Stagnation Basic Strengths: Production and Care Now work is most crucial. Erikson observed that middle-age is when we tend to be occupied with creative and meaningful work and with issues surrounding our family. Also, middle adulthood is when we can expect to "be in charge," the role we've longer envied. The significant task is to perpetuate culture and transmit values of the culture through the family (taming the kids) and working to establish a stable environment. Strength comes through care of others and production of something that contributes to the betterment of society, which Erikson calls generativity, so when we're in this stage we often fear inactivity and meaninglessness. As our children leave home, or our relationships or goals change, we may be faced with major life changesthe mid-life crisisand struggle with finding new meanings and purposes. If we don't get through this stage successfully, we can become self-absorbed and stagnate. Significant relationships are within the workplace, the community and the family. 8. Late Adulthood: 55 or 65 to Death Ego Development Outcome: Integrity vs. Despair Basic Strengths: Wisdom Erikson felt that much of life is preparing for the middle adulthood stage and the last stage is recovering from it. Perhaps that is because as older adults we can often look back on our lives with happiness and are content, feeling fulfilled with a deep sense that life has meaning and we've made a contribution to life, a feeling Erikson calls integrity. Our strength comes from a wisdom that the world is very large and we now have a detached concern for the whole of life, accepting death as the completion of life. On the other hand, some adults may reach this stage and despair at their experiences and perceived failures. They may fear death as they struggle to find a purpose to their lives, wondering "Was the trip worth it?" Alternatively, they may feel they have all the answers (not unlike going back to adolescence) and end with a strong dogmatism that only their view has been correct. The significant relationship is with all of mankind"my-kind." Copyright 2002, Arlene F. Harder, MA, MFT www.childhoodaffirmations.com/.../family/stages.html 2 nontraditional family structure.3 Not everyone passes through these stages smoothly. Situations such as severe illness, financial problems, or the death of a loved one can have an effect on how well you pass through the stages. Fortunately, if you miss skills in one stage, you can learn them in later stages. Family Life Cycle - Topic Overview

What is a family life cycle?

The emotional and intellectual stages you pass through from childhood to your retirement years as a member of a family are called the family life cycle. In each stage, you face challenges in your family life that cause you to build or gain new skills. Gaining these skills helps you work through the changes that nearly every family goes through.

The stages of the family life cycle are:

Independence. Coupling or marriage. Parenting: babies through adolescents. Launching adult children. Retirement or senior years.

Why is it important to understand the family life cycle?

Mastering the skills and milestones of each stage allows you to successfully move from one stage of development to the next. If you don't master the skills, you may still move on to the next phase of the cycle, but you are more likely to have difficulty with relationshipsand future transitions. Family life cycle theory suggests that successful transitioning may also help to prevent disease and emotional or stress-related disorders.

Whether you are a parent or child, brother or sister, bonded by blood or love, your experiences through the family life cycle will affect who you are and who you become. The more you understand about the challenges of each stage of the cycle, the more likely you are to successfully move on.

What can disrupt the normal cycle?

The stress of daily living or coping with a chronic medical condition or other crisis disrupts the normal family cycle. A crisis or ongoing stress can delay the transition to the next phase of life. Or you may move on without the skills that you need to succeed.

How can I improve my family life cycle?

Be assured, you can learn missed skills and improve your and your family's quality of life at any stage. Selfexamination, education, and perhaps counseling are ways to improve yourself and your family life. These are also actions that can help you manage other issues, too, such as going through a divorce or being a part of a

Duvall defines a family developmental task as a growth responsibility that arises at a certain stage in the life of a family, successful achievement of which leads to satisfaction, and success with later tasks, while failure leads to unhappiness in the family, disapproval by society, and difficulty with later family developmental tasks. 4

Developmental Tasks for the Individual and the Family Stage I. Infant

Developmental Tasks Infancy is far from what some have assumed a time for rigidly and mechanically handling the baby because he seems to have so little capability as an adapting human being. The following developmental tasks are to be accomplished in infancy: 1. Achieve physiological equilibrium after birth. 2. Establish self as a dependent person but separate from others. 3. Become aware of the alive versus the inanimate and familiar versus unfamiliar and develop rudimentary social interaction. 4. Develop a feeling of and desire for affection and response from others. 5. Adjust somewhat to the expectations of others. 6. Manage the changing body and learn new motor skills, develop equilibrium, begin hand-eye coordination, and establish rest-activity and rhythm. 7. Learn to understand and control the physical world through exploration. 8. Develop a beginning symbol system, conceptual abilities, and preverbal communication. 9. Direct emotional expression to indicate needs and wishes. Family Developmental Tasks 1. 2. 3. 4. Income adjustments. Role shifts. Re-adjustment of personal goals toward family goals. Linkage with extended family.

1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.

Keeping lines of communication open among family members. Working together to achieve common goals. Planning a life-style within economic means. Finding creative ways to continue a mutually satisfactory married life. Providing for parental privacy and space for childrens play. Maintaining close ties with relatives. Expanding family life into the community through various activities. Validating the family philosophy of life. The philosophy is tested when the child brings home new ideas and talks about different lifestyles he has encountered, forcing the family to re-examine their patterns of living.

Stage V. Adolescent Developmental Tasks Adolescence is a stressful for time for both individuals and families given the demands of changes taking place. Until these tasks are accomplished, the person remains immature an adolescent regardless of chronological age. 1. Accepting the changing body size, shape, and function and understanding the meaning of physical maturity. 2. Learning to handle the body in a variety of physical skills and to maintain good health. 3. Achieving a satisfying and socially accepted feminine or masculine role, recognizing how these roles have similarities and distinctions. 4. Finding the self as a member of one or more peer groups and developing skills in relating to a variety of people, including those of the opposite sex. 5. Achieving independence from parents and other adults while maintaining a mature affection and interdependence with them. 6. Selecting a satisfying occupation in line with interests and abilities and preparing for economic independence. 7. Preparing to settle down, frequently for marriage and family life, or for a close relationship with another by developing a responsible attitude, acquiring needed knowledge, making appropriate decisions, and forming a relationship based on lave rather than infatuation. 8. Developing the intellectual and work skills and social sensitivities of a competent citizen. 9. Developing a workable philosophy, a mature set of values, and worthy ideals. Family Developmental Tasks

Stage II. Toddler Developmental Tasks The constantly sensitive situation of the toddler gaining autonomy and independence at times over-reaching and needing parents help, at times needing the freedom from parents protection is one which you can help parents understand. His future personality and health will depend partially on how these many opportunities are handled at this time. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Settling into healthy daily routines. Mastering good eating habits. Mastering the basics of toilet-training. Developing the physical skills appropriate to his stage of motor development. Becoming a family member. Learning to communicate effectively with others.

Family Developmental Tasks 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. Meeting the spiraling costs of family living. Providing a home that is safe, comfortable, and has adequate space. Maintaining sexual involvement which meets both partners needs. Developing a satisfactory division of labor. Promoting understanding between the toddler and his family. Determining whether the family will have more children. Re-dedicating themselves, among many dilemmas, to their decision to be a child-bearing family.

The teenage stage of the family life cycle is entered when the child becomes 13 and the stage ends when he leaves the family circle to assume his role as a young adult through work, marriage, or military service. The overall family goal at this time is to allow the adolescent greater freedom and responsibility to prepare him for young adulthood. Although each family member has personal developmental tasks, the family unit as a whole also has developmental tasks. Generally speaking, the developmental tasks for a family at this time involve maintaining a grasp of those facets of life which continue to have meaning, while striving for a deeper awareness and understanding of the present situation. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Provide facilities for individual differences and needs of family members. Work out a system of financial responsibility within the family. Establish a sharing of responsibilities. Re-establish a mutually satisfying marriage relationship. Strengthen communication within the family. Rework relationships with relatives, friends, and associates. Broaden horizons of the adolescents and parents. Formulate a workable philosophy of life as a family.

Stage III. Preschooler Developmental Tasks While the preschool child and his siblings are achieving their developmental tasks, the parents are struggling with childrearing and their own personal developmental tasks. 1. Achieve physical health. 2. Ability to finish tasks. 3. Count to 20 or more. 4. Take turns and share. 5. Learn problem-solving skills. 6. Is enthusiastic and curious when approaching new activities. 7. Is able to use pencils or paintbrushes. 8. Has good language skills. 9. Is sensitive to other childrens feelings. 10. Can sit still and pay attention. 11. Knows the letters of the alphabet. 12. Can follow directions. 13. Identifies primary colors and basic shapes. 14. Communicates needs, wants, and thoughts in their primary language. Family Developmental Tasks 1. Encourage and accept evolving skills rather than elevating self-esteem by pushing the child beyond his capacity. Satisfaction is found through reducing assistance with physical care and giving more guidance in other respects. 2. Supply adequate housing, facilities, space, equipment, and other materials needed for life, comfort, health, and recreation. 3. Plan for predicted and unexpected costs of family life such as medical care, insurance, education, babysitter fees, food, clothing, and recreation. 4. Maintain some privacy and provide an outlet for tension of family members while including the child as a participant in the family. 5. Share household and child-care responsibility with other family members, including the child. 6. Strengthen the partnership with the mate and express affection in ways that keep the relationship from becoming boring. 7. Learn to accept failures, mistakes, and blunders without piling up feelings of guilt, blame, and recrimination. 8. Nourish common interests and friendships to strengthen self-respect and self-confidence and to remain interesting to each other. 9. Maintain a mutually satisfactory sexual relationship and plan whether or not to have more children. 10. Create and maintain effective communication within the family. 11. Cultivate relationships with the extended family. 12. Tap resources and serve others outside the family to prevent preoccupation with self and family. 13. Face lifes dilemmas and rework moral codes, spiritual values, and a philosophy of life. Stage IV. School Age Developmental Tasks While the school child continues working on past developmental tasks, he is confronted with a series of new ones. The accomplishment of these tasks gives the school child a foundation for entering adolescence, an era filled with dramatic growth and changing attitudes. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. Decreasing dependence upon family and gaining some satisfaction from peers and other adults. Increasing neuromuscular skills so that he can participate in games and work with others. Learning basic adult concepts and knowledge to be able to reason and engage in the tasks of everyday living. Learning ways to communicate with others realistically. Becoming a more active and cooperative family participant. Giving and receiving affection to family and friends without immediately seeking or giving a gift in return. Learning socially acceptable ways of getting money and saving it for later satisfaction. Learning how to handle strong feelings and impulses appropriately. Adjusting his changing body image and self-concept to come to terms with the masculine and feminine social role. 10. Discovering healthy ways of becoming acceptable as a person. 11. Developing a positive attitude toward his own and other social, racial, economic, and religious groups. Family Developmental Tasks Family activities with the school-age child revolve around expanding the childs world. Stage VI. Young Adult Developmental Tasks The specific developmental tasks of the youth as he is making the transition from adolescence into young adulthood can be summarized as the following: choosing a vocation, getting appropriate education or training, and formulating ideas about selection of a mate or someone with whom to have a close relationship. For the young adult in general, the following tasks must be achieved regardless of his station in life. 1. Accepting self and stabilizing self-concept and body image. 2. Establishing independence from parental home and financial aid. 3. Becoming established in a vocation or profession that provides personal satisfaction, economic independence, and a feeling of making a worthwhile contribution to society. 4. Learning to appraise and express love responsibly through more than sexual contact. 5. Establishing an intimate bond with another, either through marriage or with a close friendship. 6. Establishing and managing a residence or home. 7. Finding a congenial social group. 8. Deciding whether or not to have a family. 9. Formulating a meaningful philosophy of life. 10. Becoming an involved citizen in the community. Family Developmental Tasks In summary, the following tasks must be accomplished by the family of the young adult. 1. Rearranging the home physically and reallocating the resources (space, material objects, etc.) to meet the needs of remaining members. 2. Meeting the expenses of releasing the offspring and redistributing the budget. 3. Redistributing the responsibilities among grown and growing children and between the husband and wife on the basis of interests, specialty, and availability. 4. Maintaining communication within the family to contribute to marital happiness while remaining available to young adult and other offspring. 5. Enjoying mutual companionship as a husband-wife team while incorporating changes. 6. Widening the family circle to include the close friends of spouses of the offspring as well as the entire family of in-laws. 7. Reconciling conflicting loyalties and philosophies of life. Stage VII. Middle Age Family Developmental Tasks In summary, the following developmental tasks must be accomplished for the middle-aged family to survive and achieve happiness, harmony, and maturity. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Maintain a pleasant and comfortable home. Assure security for later years, financially and emotionally. Share household responsibilities. Draw emotionally closer as a couple. Maintain contact with grown children and their families. Keep in touch with aging parents, siblings, their families, and other relatives and friends. Participate in community life beyond the family. Reaffirm the values of life that have real meaning philosophical, religious, and social.

Stage VIII. Aging Couple Family Developmental Tasks The following developmental tasks are to be achieved by the aging couple as a family as well as by the aging person alone. 1. Decide where and how to live out the remaining years. 2. Continue a supportive, close, warm relationship with a spouse or significant other, including a satisfying sexual relationship. 3. Find a satisfactory home or living arrangement and establish a safe, comfortable household routine to fit health and economic status. 4. Adjust living standards to retirement income; supplement retirement income. 5. Maintain maximum level of health; care for self physically and emotionally.

6. Maintain contact with children, grandchildren, and other living relatives finding emotional satisfaction with them. 7. Maintain interest in people outside the family and in social, civic, and political responsibility. 8. Pursue new interests and maintain former activities in order to gain status, recognition, and a feeling of being needed. 9. Find meaning in life after retirement and in facing inevitable illness and death of oneself, spouse, and other loved ones. 10. Work out a significant philosophy of life, finding comfort in that philosophy or religion. 11. Adjust to the death of spouse and other loved ones. 5 FAMILY DEVELOPMENTAL THEORY : by Nirmala Roberts Paediatric Nursing DEVELOPMENTAL THEORY : DEVELOPMENTAL THEORY Developed by Duvall (1977) & Rogers (1962) Duvall described 8 developmental tasks of the family through out its life span (from Ericksons) Rogers - Role theory Family A small group, a semi-closed system of personalities that interacts with the larger cultural social system Changes in one part effects a series of changes in the other parts Duvalls Developmental Theory : Duvalls Developmental Theory Addresses family change over time in life cycle Based on predictable changes in structure, function and roles of the family Age of the older child is the marker for stage transition Arrival of first child marks the transition from Stage I to Stage II As the first child grows and develops, the family enters subsequent stages At every stage family is at a developmental task At the same time, each member of the family must achieve individual developmental task Duvalls Developmental Stages of the Family : Stage I : Stage I Marriage & independent home The joining of families Re-establish couple identity Realign relationships with extended family Make decisions regarding parenthood Stage II : Stage II Families with infants Integrate infants into family unit Accommodate to new parenting and grand parenting roles Maintain marital bond Stage III : Stage III Families with preschoolers Socialize children Parents & children adjust to separation Stage IV : Stage IV Families with Schoolchildren Children develop peer relations Parents adjust to their children's, peer and school influence Stage V : Stage V Families with teenagers Adolescents develop increasing autonomy Parental focus on midlife marital and career issues Parents begin shift toward concern for older generation Stage VI : Stage VI Families as launching centers Parents & young adults establish independent identities Renegotiate marital relationship Stage VII : Stage VII Middle aged families Re-invest in couple identity with concurrent development of independent interests Re-align relationships to include in-laws and grand children Deal with disabilities & death of older generation Stage VIII : Stage VIII Aging families Shift from work role to leisure and semiretirement or full retirement Maintain couple and individual functioning while adapting to the aging process Prepare for own death and dealing with the loss of spouse and/ or siblings and other peers Family Developmental Stages for Divorce : Family Developmental Stages for Divorce Stage I Decision to divorce Accept inability to resolve marital discord Stage II Planning the breakup Create viable arrangements for all members of the family Stage III Separation Develop cooperative co-parenting relationships Stage IV Divorce Resolve the emotional divorce Stage V Single parent family OR Non custodial single parent Maintain parental contact with children (Non custodial parent) Maintain relationship with ex in-laws (custodial parent) Rebuild personal social network Application in Nursing Practice : Application in Nursing Practice Assess the level of accomplishment of the families Assess the effect of illness on family development Plan means to assist families to achieve the developmental task for that stage Slide 15: Include family in the work plan (the patient is the family) Thorough family assessment (for strengths & weaknesses) Anticipatory guidance Crisis intervention FAMILY NURSING INTERVENTIONS : FAMILY NURSING INTERVENTIONS Behaviour modification Case management & coordination Collaborative strategies Contracting Counseling Empowering through active participation Environmental modification Family advocacy Family crisis intervention Networking (self-help groups, social support) Providing information & technical expertise Role modeling Role supplementation Teaching strategies stress management, lifestyle modification, anticipatory guidance Situation : Situation 3 yr old Raju is admitted to your ward with Ac Gastro-enteritis with Mrs Lakshmi, his mother as attendant. 6 yr old Rashmi (in first std) and 1 yr old Ramesh are his siblings. His father runs a grocery shop and mother is a house wife. Discuss application of the family theories when working with this family. Comparison of family theories : Comparison of family theories 6 EARLY ADULTHOO D Mrs. L 24 years old

being independent. They do not want to be interfered or interrupted, or even assumed from their activity. They always want to do things by themselves During this stage, parents must know how to deal with the childs needs. The mothers should give ample time to let the child finish his activity SC: Kani akong anak, dili palahilak. Pwede ra nako ibilin sa iyang kuya. Usahay kung manglaba ko, ako ra siyang patulgon sa duyan ug ako ra siayng biyaan. As verbalized Mrs. L.

SC: During a home visit, it was noted that the child insists of doing things on his own. Often times, he has temper tantrums when he cannot do what he wants to do.

to permit growth

INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPMENTAL TASK by Havighurst Theory of Developmental Tasks of Individual Stage Age Central Task Actual Manifestation SC: Ang akong anak mututoy man kung patutyon nako. Muduol man siya ug lain tao, pero muhilak dayon kay wala man siya kaila. As verbalized by Mrs. L OC: The child exhibits dependence to his mother as much as the child doesnt cling to other people. (+) Indicators of Resolution Learning to trust others (-) Indicators of Resolution Mistrust, withdrawal, estrangemen t Nursing Interpretation The central task of the infant is trust. His reliance to his mother justifies that he trusts her mother. To promote a worthwhile motherchild relationship, it is recommended to increase further supervision and guidance. Safety and risktaking strategies must be balanced to permit growth

INFANCY Child J2

4 month s

Trust versus Mistrust

TODDLER Child J1

3 years old

Autonomy versus Shame & Doubt

Intimacy versus Isolation

FAMILY DEVELOPMENTAL TASK Definition: The family developmental task shows the skills and behavioral patterns of a family learned during various developmental stage and age.7 STAGE Family with Infant (Child J2 of 4 months) NORMAL MANIFESTATION Normally, mothers are sensitive to their childrens needs. Theyrespond immediately to satisfythe needs of an infant By this stage, the infant learns or initiates to crawl and creep ACTUAL MANIFESTATION OC: The child is totally dependent to his mother. Often times, the child wants to be cuddled. Child J2 smiles and responds to strangers but does not want to be cuddled by others. SC: Nah! Arang gyud ni si J1. Kung naa siyay buhaton, gusto niya nga siyara gyud mubuhat. Masuko pa kungtabangan. Perti kaayong bataa. Asverbalized by Mrs. L. OC: The child is smiling and mingles with people even if he doesnt know them. INTERPRETATION Control the infants environment so that the physical and psychological needs are met.

Family with Toddler (Child J1 of 3 years old)

Children belonging to this level manifests autonomy or act of

Safety and risktaking strategies must be balanced

SC: Kini si J1, magtuman gyud sa iyang gusto buhaton, unya masuko kung badlungon. Gahi kaayo ug ulo. As verbalized by Mrs. L. OC: Child J1 doesnt listen to what his mother tells him to do. He insists on doing things on his own. He doesnt want to be managed by other people. SC: Palangga man ko sa akong bana. Siya man gani magluto sa among pagkaon kung naa siya diri sa balay, ug dili pud ko niya pasagdan sa mga buluhaton diri sa balay. Siya usahay mag atiman sa mga bata kung wala siyay trabaho. As verbalized by Mrs. L. OC: Both the couple exhibits closeness as manifested by helping in household chores during one of the home visits we have conducted.

Self Control without Loss of Self-Esteem Ability to cooperate and to express oneself

Compulsive self restraint or compliance Willfulness & Defiance

Intimate relationship with another person Commitmen t to work and relationships

Impersonal relationship Avoidance from relationship, career or lifestyle commitments

Encourage separation from parents, achievement of independence and decisionmaking

Often times, the husband is the one who shows more care to the wife.

3.

4.

5. 6.

7.

Mr. J

29 years old

Generativity versus Stagnation

SC: Ang ako mang bana ang nangita sa amo. Siya gyud na mangita ug paagi kung wala nami kwarta kay dili na siya magsugot na magutman mi ug iyang mga ginikanan. Dili na siya mahimutang kung walay gatas, sud-an ug bugas diri sa balay. Mao talagsa ra gyud na siya makastamabay diri sa balay. As verbalized by Mrs L., referring to her husband.

Creativity, Productivity, Concern for others

Selfindulgence, Self-concern, lack of interests & commitments

Accept adults chosen lifestyle and assist with the necessary adjustments relating to health. Recognize the persons commitments. Support as necessary for health

8.

9.

husband and wife to share common faith that would prevent conflict and give the children a common focus. Eg. Belief in food, treatment etc.. Cultural/Family Background Scientifically, likes begets likes a tiger begets its kind. Knowledge of the cultural background of either the spouses are important in order to find out cultural practices and hereditary traits like psychosis or schizophrenia that can be inherit by the children which has to be resolved/trashed out before marriage to avoid family conflict. Health Condition It is essential that information on state of the body and the mind of the person an individual wants to marry. Some of these are: genotype, rhesus factor, mental ability, sexual experience, HIV status, and state of the psyche or mind. All these are necessary to be bale to prepare for the challenges of marriage. Physical Appearance Everyone has a mental picture of his/her desired spouse. But beauty is in the hand of the beholder. This must be taken into consideration to avoid conflict in the future. Education Attainment/Vocational Skills Education is one source of empowerment. The present economic condition has great effect in the separation of families where a great majority of grassroots families are experiencing because they are the ones who have less opportunity for work and therefore could not support his family simple because they are non-degree holders whose better work and salary is higher as compared to degree holders. The vision and perception of a well educated person could be different from that of an individual who is not well educated and unless adequate care is taken, this could be a source of disagreement. It maybe necessary to avoid to much gap in educational attainment in order to prevent conflict and marital instability. Value Orientation Ezeilo (1995) noted that establishment and acceptance of common goals and values by family members especially husband and wife ensure cohesion in the family system. A common goal can be easily achieved when members of the family discuss issues affecting them and work together as one. Thus, prospective couples need to set common goals and values and work together to achieve such. Nature of Job The nature of the couples job is one of the important factors that can influence marital relationship. There are some professions that are time demanding and require a long absence from home. E.g., call center worker, nurse, doctors, NGO worker, etc.. Peer Influence - An adage says, show me who you are and I will tell you who your friends are. Friends have important influence on teenagers and youths. Thus a suitor whose friends are smokers is most likely a smoker too. 1

10. Economic Fcator - marriage does not stand for just an occasion but rather the union of the lives
of two people after the celebration . However , before a couple decides to get married ,there must be some important decisions that each of them has to make before they finally settle on a more serious and lifetime commitment .Certainly , before facing the marital , financial , and later on parental obligations , each person in the relationship must analyze the probable consequences of their spouse selection . In this part , economics is said to be one of the factors that affect the choice of spouse of a person .From courtship to marriage , a certain person might probably have gone through a lot of evaluation regarding the capacity of his or her future spouse to meet his or her economic needs . In post modern world , most people are getting married at a very young age . However , there are still a lot of people who evaluate their capacity to have a family first before they commit and bow in front of the altar . According to Becker (1973 ) these past few years , the economists have been using economic theory to explain societal problems and behaviors outside the sector of monetary market .2 There is a need to study who you would like to be your spouse to fully understand him/her better and accept him/her for what he/she is. It may be difficult to find a perfect one however, do your best to get the best in order to avoid marital conflicts that will eventually affect your life, children and family as a whole. LDS Dating and Courtship How to Know Who to Marry By Rachel Bruner, About.com Guide Courtship Leading to Temple Marriage

REFERENCES:

1. 2. 3. 4.

Carter, B. & McGoldrick, M. (1999). The Expanded Family Lifecycle. Individual Family and Social Perspectives (Third edition). Boston: Allyn & Bacon. www.childhoodaffirmations.com/.../family/stages.html http://children.webmd.com/tc/family-life-cycle-topic-overview

After following the basic LDS dating rules and guidelines the time will come when youre ready to work towards a temple marriage. How will you know who to marry? Prepare yourself through proper dating and courtship and learn how to build a strong relationship by: dating for a sufficient time, becoming best friends, choosing the right person, building a foundation upon Jesus Christ.

Courtship Takes Time Family Developmental Tasks: A Research Model. Frances M. Magrabi and William H. Marshall. Journal of Marriage and Family. Vol. 27, No. 4 (Nov., 1965), pp. 454-458 Published by: National Council on Family Relations One of the most important aspects of the courtship process, which is unfortunately often lacking in LDS dating, is the very important need to spend ample time together. Although LDS dating online can be an opportunity to meet other singles, it is extremely important to date face-to-face for a long enough period of time. A few brief dates, followed by a whirlwind engagement and marriage, does not build a solid foundation for marriage. Such a sandy foundation will not hold firm when the storms of life come- and they always come.

5. 6. 7.

Developmental Tasks for the Individual and the Family. faculty.ccri.edu/.../DevelopmentalTasksfortheIndividualandtheFamily.rtf. http://www.scribd.com/doc/6004410/Family-Developmental-Task http://www.authorstream.com/Presentation/anitarobins-338858-family-developmental-theorystages-development-nursing-interventions-application-devt-al-education-ppt-powerpoint/ Avoiding Divorce/Annulment/Separation "The best way to avoid divorce/annulment/separation from an unfaithful, abusive, or unsupportive spouse is to avoid marriage to such a person. If you wish to marry well, inquire well. Associations through 'hanging out' or exchanging information on the Internet are not a sufficient basis for marriage. There should be dating, followed by careful and thoughtful and thorough courtship. There should be ample opportunities to experience the prospective spouses behavior in a variety of circumstances" (Dallin H. Oaks, "Divorce," Ensign, May 2007, 7073). Don't let yourself get caught up in the moment by jumping into marriage when you're still in the stage of infatuation and attraction. Take the time necessary to allow your relationship (and knowledge of the one you're dating) to properly form into a sure foundation.

TOPIC 2: Choosing a partner Marriage is an intimate relationship between a husband and wife. It is a conjugal relationship between a woman and a man, a union of two people between the opposite sex. It is believed that success of a family largely depends on the marital relationship of husband and wife. Consequently, the development of the society is influenced by the way the marital issues are handled. In the Western Culture, divorce is rampant while separation in the Philippines becomes rampant too. Both of which leads to broken families that has an immense effect on every family. This is the reason why, every single individual must be careful in choosing his/her partner in life. Marriage does not start as couple, they first go through courtship and dating. What are the factors influencing the choice of a spouse? (Marriage and sex Counseling by Yahaya et al. 1. Personality Disposition This deals with the natural caharacteristics of an individual. Personality Type as in introvert or extrovert etc.. a. Character honesty, perseverance, loyalty and industry. b. Adjustment the way a person adapts to environment or get along with other people. c. Temperament it relates to whether an individual easily gets angry, easily upset, cool headed or calm. d. Interest likes and dislikes. e. Attitude this refers to how a person feels about other people, events or things. An individuals attitude maybe in favor or against, or indifference to, particular people, events or things. The understanding of this personality characteristics by prospective couples, would promote effectiveand efficient marital relationship. Religious Belief It influence the adherents behavior. The daily living of an individual is determined by his faith. So in order to promote marital stability and harmony, it is best for the

Becoming Best Friends When you've fallen in love with someone it's easy to believe that you are the best of friends and will always feel the way you do, but falling in love is a temporary emotion, one that eventually fades. It's important when courting that you take the time to develop a strong friendship with the one you're dating. "Bruce C. Hafen has compared relationships between men and women to a pyramid. The base of the pyramid is friendship, and the ascending layers include building blocks such as understanding, respect, and restraint. At the very top is what he terms a 'glittering little mystery called romance.' If one tries to stand the pyramid on its point, expecting romance to hold everything else up, the pyramid will fall ("The Gospel and Romantic Love," Ensign, Oct. 1982, p. 67)" (Jonn D. Claybaugh, "Dating: A Time to Become Best Friends," Ensign, Apr 1994, 19). Building a strong friendship will happen over time as you learn how to communicate together, discuss life's important issues, and have good, bad, and stressful experiences together. Choosing the Right Person Here are some things to look for in a potential spouse. Do they:

2.

love God and others

value marriage and family respect you respect themselves

LDS Youth are counseled to not date until they are at least 16 years old. Not only is dating during your early youth not the proper time for dating, but it often leads to inappropriate behavior. The guideline to wait to date is inspired counsel from Latter-day prophets and when followed it brings blessings.

There are many reasons why this important guideline has been given, including the following: have good mental and emotional health maintain self-control honor their parents obey the commandments fulfill church callings including home/visiting teaching? "For example, it's not unusual to develop strong romantic feelings during your early teens. With those feelings often come desires that are made even stronger by the fact that you are maturing physically. And all of this happens at a time when you still dont have the emotional and mental maturity to deal with those feelings," ("Q&A: Questions and Answers," New Era, Feb 2001, 16). Who Should You Date?: When choosing someone to date, look for and date only those people who have high moral standards. If you are unsure if a date would respect you then that's a good indicator to say no, or at least wait until you are sure of that person's character. A good question to ask yourself when contemplating a possible date is, "Does this person live the gospel standards?" Don't date someone you know will tempt you to compromise your standards or your virtue. It's better to not date then to date someone who does not respect you. As a son or daughter of God you have a right to be respected as well as respect those you date. "In your early teens you are just beginning a process of emotional, social, mental, and physical development that will go on for years. Dating too early in this maturing process can complicate your life.

President Gordon B. Hinckley said: "Choose a companion you can always honor, you can always respect, one who will complement you in your own life, one to whom you can give your entire heart, your entire love, your entire allegiance, your entire loyalty" ("Life's Obligations," Ensign, Feb 1999, 2). Seeking the Perfect Person Although it is extremely important to date those who have high standards and to observe a potential spouse's behavior, it's also important to remember that no one is perfect. Elder Richard G. Scott warns against focusing too heavily on seeking a perfect companion: "I suggest that you not ignore many possible candidates who are still developing these attributes, seeking the one who is perfected in them. You will likely not find that perfect person, and if you did, there would certainly be no interest in you. These attributes are best polished together as husband and wife" ("Receive the Temple Blessings," Ensign, May 1999, 25). Working Towards a Temple Marriage Dating and courtship is the time to continue to prepare for a temple marriage. Being sealed to a spouse in the temple is the greatest covenant one can make with God- and can only be achieved as a companionship. A temple wedding seals a husband and wife together for all time and eternity- meaning they will be together again after this life- and is necessary for exaltation. Keeping the Law of Chastity While working towards a temple marriage when dating, a couple must keep the law of chastity, one of the basic guidelines of LDS dating. Keeping God's commandment to wait to have sexual relations until after marriage shows respect for both you and those you date.

Dating Other Latter-day Saints: As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ you are strongly encouraged to only date other members of our faith. Because of our high standards we believe in only dating those who respect and keep the commandments of Jesus Christ. The experiences you gain from dating will prepare you for a temple marriage. The chances for a happy, healthy temple marriage are much greater if you only date other Latter-day Saints who uphold the same standards. Group and Double Dating: When you start dating, and throughout your youth, it is best to date in groups or go on double dates. A double date is when you and your date pair up with another couple, and a group date is when three or more couples participate in a date together. Dating with other couples is a lot of fun! Not only does it make conversation easier but there's always a lot more laughter when people pair up and go on group dates together. Group and double dating also helps keep things light and appropriate. Refrain from Steady Dating:

Relationship Founded Upon Jesus Christ If you want to have a happy, healthy marriage then it's necessary to build a proper foundation upon the teachings of Jesus Christ. Some excellent ways to do this are to do the following together: Youth should avoid dating the same person too regularly. It's also best to wait until you are older to steadily date someone, such as after high school and even after a mission. President Gordon B. Hinckley said: "Steady dating at an early age leads so often to tragedy. Studies have shown that the longer a boy and girl date one another, the more likely they are to get into trouble Family Home Evening Scripture study Church attendance Temple attendance Prayer Share testimonies Church activities Institute classes Serve each other and others "Always treat your date with respect, never as an object to be used for your lustful desires. Stay in areas of safety where you can easily control your physical feelings. Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual feelings," ("Sexual Purity," 26). Preparing for a Mission and Temple Marriage: Making a Decision to Marry The time will come when you will want to know if the person you are dating is the one you should marry. The Lord taught Oliver Cowdery how to know the truth: "But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. "But if it be not right you shall have no such feelings, but you shall have a stupor of thought that shall cause you to forget the thing which is wrong," (D&C 9:8-9). This means you must FIRST go through the dating and courtship process and learn for yourself if the one you are dating is right for you. Then you must make a decision and prayabout it, and the Lord will answer you. As members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we have high standards regarding LDS dating. What are those standards? Why should you wait until the age of 16 before dating and whom should you date? Also learn how proper dating prepares you for a mission and temple marriage.3 Dating can be fun as you remember your standards and refrain from becoming too serious too soon. The time will eventually come when you will be ready to prepare for temple marriage through steady dating and courtship. Until then choose to uphold your standards and follow the Lord's counsel while dating.4 Keeping the law of chastity while dating is one of the most important ways to remain worthy when preparing for a mission and/or a temple marriage. When dating don't do anything that will question your worthiness to serve a mission and enter the Lord's holy temple. Through the prophet Alma, the Lord taught us to "bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love," (Alma 38:12). Learning how to control yourself while dating will greatly help prepare you for a strong, spiritual future. Fun, Yet Simple, LDS Dating Ideas: Dating doesn't have to be expensive! Not only is it impractical, but planning an extravagant date is unnecessary, even for a formal date. Browse through these great LDS dating ideasto find some simple and fun things you can plan for your next date. Many of these dating ideas are relatively inexpensive or even free. One of God's greatest commandments is to keep the law of chastity which means to not have any sexual activity outside of marriage. While dating you should always respect both you and your date by refraining from thinking, saying, or doing anything that stimulates feelings of desire and arousal. In For the Strength of Youth: Fulfilling Our Duty to God it says: LDS Dating and the Law of Chastity: "It is better, my friends, to date a variety of companions until you are ready to marry. Have a wonderful time, but stay away from familiarity. Keep your hands to yourself" ("A Prophet's Counsel and Prayer for Youth," Ensign, Jan 2001, 2).

Having continuous spiritual experiences together will help build a relationship founded upon Jesus Christ and his teachings.

Waiting to Date: