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Little Shop of Horrors Script (Original Script)

Little Shop of Horrors Script (Original Script)

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Published by: Rebecca Anne Guilderson on Jul 27, 2011
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Little Shop of Horrors

PROLOGUE
~ ..

;-

4 v,ery large placard bearing the words LITTLE SHOP OF
'HORRORS hangs suspended in dark, swirlingfog. WINO #1 sleeps peacejully on the jar left edge oj the Forestage. (MUSIC CUE 1) A VOICE NOT UNLIKE OOD'~ thunders in serious, prophetic tones:

\

VOICE. On the twenty-first day of the month of September, in an early year of a decade not too long"before our own, the human race suddenly encountered a deadly threat to its very existence. And this terrifying enemy surfaced - as such enemies often do - in the seemingly most innocent and unlikely of places.

(The placard flies out to reveal CRYSTAL, ROlVNETTE, and, CHIFFON, posed in front oj the closed Screens. They face us, laugh, and begin to sing:)
(I-A) "LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS"

Gnus. LITTLE SHOP LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS LITTLE SHOP LITTL:P SHOPPA TERROR CALLA COP LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS
NO!

OH OH OH'NO-OH! LITTLE SHOP LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS BOP SH'BOP LITTLE SHOPPA TERROR WATCH 'EM DROP LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS

.;..

~

, OH OH OH NO-OR! 13

NO!

14

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS sing back-up)
,
\j
I

CHIFFON. (as CRYSTAL & RONNETTE SHING-A-LING WHAT A CREEPY THING TO BE HAPPENIN' (shouted, a la The Shangri-La's) Lookout! Lookout! Lookout! Lookout! SHANG-A-LANG . FEEL THE STURM AND DRANG IN THE AIR! YEAH,YE.AH,YEAH,YEAH SHALALA . STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE DONCHA MOVE A TH1NG RONNETTE.

YOU BETTER
GIRLS.

YOU BEITER . TELLIN' YOU; YOU BETTER TELL YOUR MAMA SOMETHIN'S GONNA GET 'ER SHE BETTEJl . EVERYBODY BETTER BEWARE! (Behind them, the Screens opens to reveal the shop. MUSHNIK sits frozen in semi-darkness at the stage R. work table, his face hidden behind a newspaper.)
RONNETTE.

COME-A, COME-A, COME-A
GIRLS.

LITTLE SHOP LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS BOP SH'BOP YOU'LL NEVER STOP THE TERROR LITTLE SHOP LITTLE SHOPPA HORRORS NO! NO NO N'NO! NO NO N'NO! NO NON'NO-OH OH OH!

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS ACT ONE SCENE1

15

As we move from Prologue to scene lighting, CR YSTAL, RONNETTE, and CHIFFON take places on the down L. stoop, near the sleeping WINO. They will remain therefor a While, idly reading monster-movie magazines: us., in the shop, LIGHTS come up on MR. MUSHNIK at the work table, reading the Skid Row Daily News and waiting for customers who do not arrive. In fact, customers very seldom if ever arrive around here. Whatfew flowers are in evidence are on their last legs- wilted, faded, and decaying. The clock moves slowly, accompanied by tic-toe music, from nine o'clock to ten. Suddenly, there is an ear-splitting crash from the off R. workroom. MUSHNIK shouts in the direclion of the noise, without getting up.
,

.

MUSHNIK.

tvfPSHNIK. (mumbling in something that resembles Yiddish as he returns to the paper) Aron g'vorn g'voxen, akebebble, mit

What did you break now, Krelborn? SEYMOUR. (offstage) Nothing, Mr. Mushnik.

tzibeleh.

(The clock advances. When it hits eleven, A UDREY appears dOW1? ., sporting a black eye. She runs across the ForeR stage, past the GIRLS, and into the shop. As she enters, the doorbell sounds. The clock hits two and stops.)
MUSHNIK. (continued) So, she finally decides to come to work . .t\UDlrnY.Good morning Mr. Mushnik. MusHNJl(. What morning? It's two o'clock in the afternoon.

(He picks UP a half-eaten sandwich from the work table and starts to cross out of the shop.) Not that we had a customer.
Who has customers when you run a flower shop on Skid Row?

(dumps the sandwich in the down
AUDREY.I'm sorry.

L.

trash can)

(She is hanging up herjacket as we hear another loud crashfrom the workroom.) ,

16

LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS

MUSHNIK. shouted from Forestage) Seymour, what is going ( on hack there? SEYMOUR. (offstage) Very little, Mr. Mushnikl . MUSHNIK. quickly moving back into the shop) Audrey; you'd ( better go back there and see what he's ... (He gets a good look at her for the first time.) Audrey. Where'd you get that shiner? AUDREY.(evasively grabbing some roses from the windowseat and crossing to the down R. work table to arrange them) Shiner? MUSHNIK. udrey, that greasy boyfriend of yours-he's been A beating up on you again? (She doesn't answer.) Look, I know it's none of my business, but I'm beginning to think he's maybe not such a nice boy. AUDREY.You don't meet nice boys when you live on Skid Row, Mr. Mushnik. ' (SEYMOUR enters Zip R. with several trays of plants. )

SEYMOUR. got these plants repotted for you, Mr ... '. (He I trips over his feet and falls, sending trays and pots flying across the room.y MUSHNIK.(shouting as SEYMOUR tumbles) Seymour! Look what you done to the inventory! . AUDREY.Don't yell at Seymour, Mr. Mushnik. SEYMOUR. (looking up from the floor) Hi, Audrey-c- you look radiant today. (beat) Is that new eye makeup? , AUDREY.(rising to exit up R. workroom) I'll clean it up before any of the customers get here. MUSHNIK.Well that ought to give you plenty of time. (He steps outside the shop.) Look, God, what an existence I got! Misfit employees, bums on the sidewalk, business is lousy. My life is a living hell. (A rustle of noise from stage L. stoop: CRYS~ TAL & CHIFFON fighting over a magazine. MUSHNIK moves down L., toward them.) Y01)! Urchins! Off the stoop! It ain't bad enough I got the winos permanently decorating the storefront? I need three worthless ragamufflns to complete the picture? RONNEITE.Aw, we ain't bothering nobody. Ate we Crystal? CRYSTAL. we're not, Ronnette. No MUSHNIK.You ought to be in school. CHIFFON.We;re on the split shift. RONNETTE. Right. We went to school 'til the fifth grade, then we split.

M. WHERE THE FOLKS ARE BROKE YODGO DOWNTOWN . singing . ain't no such thing. 17 So how do you intend to better yourselves? Better ourselves? Mister.WHERE YOUR LIFE'S A JOKE YODGO DOWNTOWN WHEN YOU BUY YOUR TOKEN.) GIRLs. ALARM GOES OFF AT SEVEN AND YOU START UPTOWN. CRYSTAL. YOU GOHOME TO SKID ROW! (moving c. singing and dancing) . CRYSTAL. when you from Skid Row. (sitting up. DOWNTOWN CRYSTAL. TIL IT'S FIVE P.. which RONNEITE find CHIFFON quickly imitate. WHERE THE CABS DON'T STOP. with MUSHNIK. WINO #1. enters stage back-up and panhandling. .) ALL. YOU GO (As they continue singing. DOWNTOWN .LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS MUSHNIK. .) (2) ~'DOWIVTOWN(SKID ROW)" CRYSTAL. R. child. RONNETTE. suddenly) THEN YOU GO (He col/apses again. WINO #2. Sing it. YOU PUT IN YOUR EIGHT HOURS FOR THE POWERS THAT HAVE ALWAYS BEEN. HOME TO SKID ROW! WiNo #1. (She turns forward dramatically and strikes a Girl Group pose. (sitting up again) YES.

DOWNTOWN WHERE THEY RIP YOUR SLIPS.18 AiL. _ WINO #1. comes out of the shop to empty a pan-full of SEYMOUR's broken flowerpots in the down L. A UDREY. trash can. trash can.) AND UPTOWN YOU CATER TO A MILLION WHORES· YOU DISINFECT TERRAZZO ON THEIR BATHROOM FLOORS YOUR MORNING'S TRIBULATION. ALL. ALL. DOWNTOWN MUSHNIK.) DOWN ON SKID ROW! ALL. ALL. LITTLE SHOP or HORRORS _ WHERE THE FOOD IS SLOP. DOWNTOWN WHERE RELATIONSHIPS ARE NO-GO. DOWNTOWN WHERE THE HOP-HEADS FLOP IN THE SNOW! DOWN ON SKID ROW! UPTOWN YOU CATER TO A MILLION JERKS UPTOWN YOU'RE MESSENGERS AND MAILROOM CLERKS EATIN' ALL YOUR LUNCHES AT THE HOT-DOG CARTS THE BOSSES TAKE YOUR MONEY AND THEY-BREAK YOUR HEARTS (The GIRLS continue singing. AUDREY. AUDREY. (She sits on the stage L. meanwhile. down R. . AFTERNOON'S A CURSE AND FIVE O'CLOCK IS EVEN WORSETHAT'S WHEN YOU GO DOWNTOWN WHERE THE GUYS ARE DRIPS. GIRLS.

. (He rises. OTHERS. OTHERS. DOWN ON SKID ROW SEYMOUR. KID" OH! (Lights crossfade sharply to him in the shop. I DOWNTOWN. CALLS ME A SLOB. and turning forward. cleaning up the mess. >. A CHILD OF THE STREET. DOWNTOWN SE¥MOUR. CRUST OF BREAD.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS SEYMOUR. THERE'S NO RULES FOR US. AND A JOBTREATS ME LIKE DIRT. GAVE ME SHELTER. I'M NOT SURE . DOWNTOWN SEYMOUR. still on his knees. .. WHEN YOUR LIFE'S A MESS. .) (refers to YUSHNIK. AND HE TELLS ME. SOMEONE SHOW ME A WAY TO GET OUTA HERE CAUSE I CONSTANTLY PRAY I'LL GET OUTA HERE PLEASE WON'T SOMEBODY SAY I'LL GETOUTA HERE SOMEONE GIMME MY SHOT OR I'LL ROT HERE! (moving c. ALL MY LIFE? I'VE ALWAYS BEEN POOR! I KEEP ASKING GOD WHAT I'IyI FOR. . A BED. 19 POOR! '. outside) DOWNTOWN SEYMOUR • . lyrically) snow ME HOW SE¥MOUR.. SWEEP THAT FLOOR. WHICH lAM! SO 1 LIVE . HERE ON SKID ROW! HE TOOK ME IN.'LL GET OUTA HERE AND . WHERE DEPRESSION'S JES' STATUS QUO! OTHERS. I STARTED LIFE AS AN ORPHAN. YA LIVE OTHERS. WILL. YA LIVE OTHERS. "GEE. . THAT'S YOUR HOME ADDRESS.

seated on the Forestage. looking off into the distance at "dreams that won't come true. still in the shop. HE'LL KNOW DOWNTOWN! DOWNTOWN! DOWNTOWN! ALL. OTHERS. West Side Story-ish way. life returns to normal. LINE DOWNTOWN GO ASK ANY WINO. PEOPLE TELL ME THERE'S NOT A WAY OUTA SKID " BUT BELIEVE ME I GOTIA GET OUTA ..J As the clock on the shop wall turns: CR YSTAL. are now moving in a very dramatic. does the same. BUT A HELL OF A LOT TO GET OUTA SKID. I'LL START CLIMBIN' UPHILL AND GET OUTA HERE SOMEONE TELL ME I STILL COULD GET OUTA HERE SOMEONE TELL LADY LUCK THAT I'M STUCK HERE! .. GEE. SKID ROW! DOWNTOWN WHERE THE SUN DONI SHINE! DOWNTOWN PAST THE BorrOM . CHIFFON. . RONNETTE. WINO #1 . SEyMOUR." A UDREY. ) SEYMOUR & AUDREY. except SEYMOUR and A UDREY. dreamlike. (At the end of the number. {MUSIC CUE 2-A. IT SURE WOULD BE SWELL TO GET OUTA HERE BID THE GUTIER FAREWELL AND GET OUTA HERE I'D MOVE HEAVEN AND HELL TO GET OUTA SKID ·I'D DO I-DUNNO-WHAT TO GET OUTA SKID... .20 LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS DOWNTOWNCAUSE ITS DANGEROUS DOWNTOWN WHERE THE RAINBOW'S JUST A NO-SHOW! WHEN YOU LIVE .I (ALL. AND WINO #2 exit. simply stands and sings.

forgive me for saying so. (confidentially. & MUSHNIK sigh and turn back to what they weredoing.You can't. . Well. work table. On a MUSIC CUE. You can't mean. What.) SEYMOUR.) MUSHNlK. to SEYMOUR) Seymour. trash can.. .. is ..The clock advances to six and chimes.prominently displayed and advertised . Mushnik. Mr. (He crosses to door and reverses the sign in It from Open to Closed.. to deposit her lifeless roses on the window-seat. I guess this is it. forget it. MUSHNIK ushers A UDREY back into the shop.Look at that! Six o'clock and we didn't sell so much as a fern.) Don't bother coming in tomorrow. kaput. SEYMOUR. Mr. SEYMOUR. MUS~IK. Mushnik. . Meanwhile.Kaput! Extinct! I'm closing this God and customer forsaken place. On a MUSIC CUE. why don't you run in back and bring out that strange and interesting new plant you've been working on? (SEYMOUR exits up R. what what don't I mean? I mean I'm closed. and works at getting the lifeless stems to stand up. MUSHNIK dejectedly returns to the stage R. AUDREY. outside the shop window. Could it be a customer? They look. AUDREY crosses up c. SEYMOUR..LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 21 picks some food out of the down L. AUDREY. Mr. starts tending to the flowers in the window. (A UDREY nudges SEYMOUR forward.What Seymour's trying to say. SEYMOUR. It's just the WINO. Mushnik. whereshe col/ects a bunch of limp roses from the stage R.You don't mean. "MUSHNIK.) You see. and A UDREY think they hear something outside. He coughs disgustingly. up C. . AUDREY. WINO #1 has moved up L. we've talked about it and we both agree . work table and his newspaper.would attract business. but has it eyer occurred to you that maybe what the firm needs is to move in a new direction? AUDREY. some of those exotic plants Seymour has been tinkering around with are really unusual and we were both thinking that maybe some of his strange and interesting plants . MUSHNlK. .

(shy and gazing at her) I hope yOU don't mind. but I haven't been able to identify it in any of my books. . I call it an Audrey Two.I don't know. No one onstage seems to notice them. here in the window. bizarre? feeling very well today. SEYMOUR.I've never seen anything like it before.Where did you get it? SEYMOUR. All three heads turn.] Door chimes and opens. they sing back-up with appropriate Girl Group hand gestures. What kind of a weirdo plant is that. (deeply moved) After me? SEYMOUR. outside the shop window.) . I gave it my own name.22 LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS . tells his tale. . people don't suddenly . to SEYMOUR) There. (to MUSHNIK. It's an Audrey Two.No one has. stage C. RONNETTE. .. (MUSIC 3-B in) SEYMOUR. Seymour? SEYMOUR. So. .) I'm afraid it isn't MUSHNIK.unlike any you have ever seen. carrying Pod #1-a large but sickly looking plant . What is it? AUDREY. As SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR. work table and sitting) Maybe what? Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound? Just because you put a strange and interesting plant in a window.Well .( continued) You remember sun a couple of weeks ago? that total eclipse' of the ' «DA DOO" (CRYSTAL.Excuse me. AUDREY. CUSTOMER.. .(Re-enters R. I couldn't help noticing that strange and interesting plant. if you put a strange and interesting plant like this. (joining her) At least. A CUSTOMER enters the shop.) CUSTOMER. AUDREY. (returning to R. maybeMUSHNIK. then crossing to windowseat) You See sir.. Now isn't that ([MUSIC CUE: 3-A. and CHiFFON pop into view up L. (crossing c. CUSTOMER. It looks like some kind of flytrap.

CHANG-DA-DOO SEYMOUR. And I was about to . there was this .you know . SEYMOUR. SNIP-DA-DOO SEYMOUR.walk on by.'Cause he knows. I coulda sworn it hadn't been there before. And when the light came back. OOPS-EE-DOO SEYMOUR. AUD-REE-TWO SEYMOUR. GIRLS. this weird plant was just sitting there. He didn't have anything unusual there that day. GOOD FOR YOU SEYMOUR. Just stuck in. 23 day. TOTAL ECLIPSE OF THE SUN! DA-DOO SEYMOUR. .strange plants are my hobby! GIRLs. GIRLS. GIRLS. walking in the wholesale flower district that man= SHOOP-DA-DOO SEYMOUR.. like something from another world. And I passed by this place where this old Chinese GIRLS • . among the zinnias? GIRLS.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS Gnus. you know. It got very dark. SEYMOUR and GIRLs. DA-DA-DA-DA-DA DA-DOO SEYMOUR. I was. NOPE DA-DOO SEYMOUR. And then I heard a strange humming sound. But the old Chinese man sold it to me anyway.He sometimes sells me weird and exotic cuttingsGIRLS. DA-DOO SEYMOUR. GIRLS. you see . . . When suddenly and without warning.. GIRLS.

work table) Yessir. I'm afraid we . as he starts out L. CUSTOMER. and takes a position on DS. ifty dollars! F SEYMOUR. Right away. Simultaneously. no . (MUSIC: doorbell.. SHA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA DOO-DOO-DOO-DOO! (As MUSIC ends.. I'll just have to take twice as many. A Audrey.... Well.(crossing toward CUSTOMER at t.L. wice as many! T SEYMOUR. stoop. Closed the register for the day. stage L. wice as many! T AUDREY.. my darling. Well then.) CUSTOMER. er . that's an unusual story and a fascinating plant.J CR YSTAL silently enters on street.. reading an oversized monster movie magazine. (CUSTOMER exits. (He moves to the door.24 GIRLS. kindly fetch this gentleman one hundred dollars worth of our very finest red American Beauty roses! (A tJDR. (fingering a huge cobweb on the register) . That is one strange and interesting plant. right away. Lib. exuberance and . grabs a handful of limp. L1TILE SHOP OF HORRORS SEYMOUlt. Fifty dollars! . the window arid disappearfrom view. dead roses and hands them to SEYMOUR for lightning-fast wrapping in a sheet of MUSHNIK's newspaper at the R. MUSHNIK. ifty dollars! F AUDREY. then turns. work table.) CUSTOMER. MUSHNIK. Can you break a hundred? . Er . Twice as many! (A UDREY quickly... sir! ' CUSToMER.) Yessir... Thank you very much.) MUSHNIK. [MUSIC CUE 3-C. hundred dollars-worth? Yessir.1 may as well take fifty dollars-worth of roses white I'm here. won't I? MUSHNIK. then turns. For a dollar ninety-five.. The GIRLS sink down behind. sir.) Oh .EYpresents the pathetic bundle to the CUSTOMER. a quick beat of Ad.A hundred. MUSHNIK.

The Audrey Two is not a healthy girl.(crossing c. A UDREY. neither is the Audrey One.(putting on her jacket) He's a professional. [SEEAPPENDIX-NOTE 1]) MUSHNIK. Then MUSHNIK takes charge:) MUSHNIK.) MUSHNIK.What kind of professional drives a motorcycle and . An MUSHNIK. he's the only fella I've got. . You're staying right here and taking care of this sick plant. (crossing stage R. putting 011 coat. AUDREY. Goodnight. How come it's fainting all the time? SEYMO~. MUSHNIK. My God.. SEniOUR. Audrey.Well.' . Seymour. it's been giving me trouble. Mr.) MUSIINIK.Strictly between us. (A UDREY exits.hildren. And besides . I'm taking us all to dinner! (MUSIC out) AUDREY.wears a black leather jacket? AUDREY. to SEYMOUR) You're not going anywhere. rebel. to prepar: :toleave: taking off sweater. Audrey Two. SEYMOUR.] THE PLANT wilts. He's a. but I have a date. you don't need a date with him. and scarf) . Enjoy dinner. . don't just stand there! Quick! Quick! Quick! Put that plant-swhat do you call it? SEYMOUR. But he makes good money.\'. Mr. I'd love' to. Are we still going to dinner? R. Krelborn.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 25 laughter from MUSHNIK.' .Put that Audrey Two in the window where the passers-by can see. He ain't a good clean kinda boy. Mushnik. MUSHNIK. (She crosses to coat rack up c.(collecting his newspaperfrom girl. work table) Poor ([MUSIC 3-D. you need major medical. It just wilts like this. I'd never have believed it. hat.Oh. Mushnik.With the same nogoodnik? I'm telling you. Goodnight. and SEYMOUR in the shop. I told you.

I MUSHNIK. little plant. I don't know what else to do for you . do. Aw Mr. OR GOD HOW I MIST YOU . SEYMOUR. MUSHNIK. misting the leaves with water.. ) SEYMOUR.SO fix! Goodnight.). I MUSHNIK. Krelborn. or just plain stubborn? What is it you want? What is it you need? (SEYMOUR sits at the table and sings ashe tends the PLA. I'VE GIVEN YOU PLANTFOOD AND WATER TO SIP I'VE GIVEN YOU POTASH. know.. SEYMOUR.(turns) You do? SEYMOUR. etc. only I knew what breed it is. Twoey. Seymour! Nurse that plant back to health. Look what this exotic little beauty did for business! . spurt and flop. I'VE GIVEN YOU SUNSHINE I'VE GIVEN YOU DIRT YOU'VE GIVEN ME NOTHIN' BUT HEARTACHE AND HURT! I'M BEGGIN' YOU SWEETLY I'M DOWN ON MY KNEES. my advice to you is you better figure it out and fast. (He exits. I MUSHNIK.grow and wilt. work table. ·(4) "GROW FOR ME" SEYMOUR.talking to his PLANT. SEYMOUR. I'm counting on you. what genus.. [MUSIC CUE 4. Are you sickly. SEY~fOUR crosses to R. . But it's If nowhere in the books. know. Mushnik and Audrey. OR PLEASEGROW FOR ME. YOU'VE GIVEN ME-ZIP. but I've beengoing through this with you for weeks.(crossing to door) So work.] LIGHTS: Sunset.Well. they just met you.\T: sprinkling food on the soil.26 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS . .

As thefinger disappears from its "view". Twoey. mirroring his timing exactly. SEYMOUR looks at THE PLANT again.NOTE 2]) . you opened up! I wonder what made you do that? (SEYMOUR moves toward THE PLANT. LIKE I'M SUPPOSED TA. He slowly hides hisfinger behind his back and (IS he does. But SEYMOUR doesn't catch it.) . THE PLANT slowly opens. then quickly lifts it again. THE PLANT slowly closes. THE PLANT closesand opens. As he does this.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS OH POD HOW YOU TEASE SO PLEASEGROW FORME. He lifts his finger to look at the wound. I'VE GIVEN YOU SOUTHERN EXPOSURE TO GET YOU TO THRIVE I'VE PINCHED YOU BACK HARD.) Damned roses! Damned thorns! Clumsy me. and shrugs.) SEYMOUR. [SEE APPENDIX . WHAT DO yOU WANT FROM ME? BLOOD? (As he works. look what I did! (He shows the finger to THE PLANT and notices that it is open. He begins to catch on. Now SEYMOUR decides to try to trick it. He very quickly hides hisfinger. (speaking) Ouch! (THE PLANT opens its fly traplike "mouth". YOU'RE BARELY ALIVE I'VE TRIED YOU AT LEVELS OF MOISTURE. unconsciously dropping his finger to his side as he does. SEYMOUR raises his finger slowly. SEYMOUR notices this. THE PLANT closes. (returning to the work table to tidy-up) I'VE GIVEN YOU GROW-LIGHTS AND MINERAL SUPPLEMENTS. sees that it is closed. Hey. SEYMOUR turns away with an "uh oh" expression. FROM DESERT TO MUD.) Hey. 27 (He crosses to the windowseat and deposits the PLANT there. THE PLANT opens. he pricks his finger on a rose thorn.

INTERVIEWER. snapping at the drops like a puppy. Do you mind if I call you a genius? SEYMOUR. Mr. hitherto unknown on this planet.. We overhear the program they are listening to: the end oj an interview with SEYMOUR. Long as you don't make a habit out of it or anything. just one last question.s (SEYMOUR squeezes hisfinger over THE PLANT. THE PLANT vibrates in anticipation.J Screen closed.) BLA CKOUT [SEEAPPENDIX NOTE3] ~ SCREENS CLOSE SCENE2 [MUSIC CUE 5. Do you feed it anything special? .) Grow for me? OHPLEASE- SEYMOUR. (continued) I think I know what made you do that.. and RONNETTE sit on stage R. (tape) Gosh. and grow .) . beggingjor more. Thepod opens. it gives a little circularflourish= almost seeming to bow. MUSHNIK. Oh. the young bOtanical . (tape) And thus we conclude Our interview with Seymour Krelborn.. As MUSIC builds. (SOUND: Interview Tape. CHIFFON. .stoop. The Audrey Two. on the last chord oj the music. extracting a drop or two oj blood.. until.28 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS . (sings) I'VE GIVEN YOU SUNLIGHT I'VE GiVEN YOU RAIN LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE NOT .. (SEYMOUR exits into the back room. Forestage. we see THE PLANT begin to grow ••. CR YSTAL. Well. gathered around a little transistor radio. Krelborn. . genius who has developed a new breed of The plantlife. no. i (SEYMOUR gingerly extends his bleeding finger toward THE PLANT. I guess a few drops couldn't hurt. INTERVIEWER. and grow.HAPPY 'LESS I OPEN A VEIN! I'LL GIVE YOU A FEW DROPS IF THAT'LL APPEASE NOW PLEASE.

uh .(Remains sitting on stoop. like to remind our listeners that the Audrey Two I'd is on display exclusively at Mushnik's Skid Row Florists . GIRLS IT COULDN'T BE HAPPENING ALL OF THIS SUDDEN SUCCESS COMING OUTA THE BLUE! GIRLs . . . Oh well. Well.. This is Radio Station week. the address! Mention the . not hard to come by. . . sing back-up. thank heard) Open six days a you. D'DOO DOD 000 DOOP. 0'000 DOO 000 DOD D'DOO 000 DOO MUSIDnK. THEY SURE 000 DOO 000- . THEY 001 GIRLS. INTERVIEWER.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 29 SEYMOUR. AUDREY TWO" GIRLS~ T'TWO TWO TWO 000 D'DOO 000 DOO MUSHNIK. (5) "YA NEVER KNOW' MUSHNIK. I PUT SIGN UP RIGHT IN THE FRONT WINDOW AN ADVERTISEMENT RIGHT IN THE FRONT WINDOW"STOP IN AND SEE THE AMAZING NEW PLANT.The address. well thanks for dropping by andI SEYMOUR.. (shouting to be . . INTERVIEWER. no . AND THE REALLY REMARKABLE THING IS THAT PEOPLE. grouped around him. SEYMOUR. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT IT COULDN'T BE HAPPENING. . ... . MUSHNIK. It's still great advertising... ten to six! WSKID .. see. PINCH ME. pecial? Er . it's a secret formula. . . The GIRLS.) . .but S it's .

orget about Audrey. . I've got threemore radio inF terviews lined up for tomorrow and the Skid Row Herald Examiner wants a picture! (With a flourish. RONNETTE. CRYSTAL.As she sings.) . How manytimes have I told you.) Who. MUSHNIK. stoop) You're an overnight sensation. It is actually a hand puppet. ( man! MUSHNIK. Seymour! CRYSTAL. THE PLANT-Pod #2-is now almost two feet tall. how'd I do? CmFFoN. sorry. Lib. . Well. The GIRLS Ad. produces a small camera. whose right arm is concealed in the pot. wearing a jacket and carrying AUDREY TWO. SEYMOUR THAT TWERP OF A KLUTZ FINALL Y DID SOMETHING RIGHT AUDREY TWO DRIVES 'EM NUTS WHAT A BLESSING THIS WONDERFUL PLANT Sf!OULD EXIST ANO SHOULD RAKE IN THE BUCKS FOR ME HAND 'OVER FIST! (SEYMOUR runs in from L. she'd be so ( happy.da believed it? (RONNEITE nods to the Bandfor her cue. & CHIFFON. (running to him) You was great.But you didn't mention the address of the shop.) if I had a mother.. manipulated by SEYMOUR.(stillperched' on the stage R. I was nervous. (MUSIC CUE. She crosses her legs and turns to the audience. Seymour!") SEYMOUR. Where's Audrey? She said I'm she'd be here. MUSHNIK snaps several photos oj SEYMOUR.30 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS MUSHNIK. [SEE APPENDIX-NOTE4] THE PLANT does not move through the following:) SEYMOUR. MUSHNIK. SEYMOUR. posing with PLANT. excitedly: "A picture! Oh. while a stuffed right jacket-arm and rubber hand disguise this fact to the audience. over Ad~ Lib. Beat. Seymour. joining her) You sounded sexier than the Wolf.

trash can.MOTHAH EXPLOSION! BANG! KERBOOM! DON'T IT GO TO SHOW YA NEVER KNOW? BLOW! (MUSHNIK exits.) . SEYMOUR tries to get it to watch the GIRLS number. STAND ASIDE AND WATCH THAT.) ALL THE'WORLD USED TO SCREW HIM BIF WHAM POW. The PLANT gets frisky and biles SEYMOUR's left hand. NOW THEY INTERVIEW HIM AND THEY CLAMOR TO PUT HIS REMARKS ON THE AIR! RONNETTE. Sit down. THE PLANT gets bored. . SEYMOUR WAS IN A FUNK HE WAS NUMBER ZERO WHO'DA THUNK HE'D BECOME A HERO? JUST A PUNK . GIRLS. as . but GIRLS intercept him and pull him into a little Conga-line dance.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS RONNETTE. SEYMOUR. During thefollowing. . BROOM NOTHIN' IN IUS NEWS BUT GLOOM AND DOOM THEN HE LIT A FUSE ANDGIVE HIM ROOM-. Seymour. GIRLS • (SEYMOUR sits-on stage L. HE WAS A FORGOTTEN SO AND SO TUENONEDAY CRASH! KERPLUNK! DON'T IT GO TO SHOW YA NEVER KNOW? RONETTE. Now we gonna sing for ya. gesturing for SEYMOUR to follow.RONNETTE sings in celebration of SEYMOUR's success and CR YSTAL & CHIFFON sing back-up. but it's no use. 31 (continued) ONE DAY HE PUSHED·A.

SEYMOUR dances with the GIRLS.it even begins to bounce and jive in time to the music!) ZAMKAZAP! DON'T IT GO TO SHOW YA NEVER KNOW? .32 i: LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS . ONE DAY YOU'RE SLINGIN' HASH FEELIN' SO REJECTED LIGHTNING FLASH! YOU GET RESURRECfED! MAKE A SPLASH! NOW YOU RATE THE BIG BRAVISSIMO! AND WITH A THUNDERCRASH! .ALL THE WORLD USED TO IIATE HIM NOW THEY'RE STARTING TO 'PRECIA TE HIM ALL BECAUSE OF THAT STRANGE LITTLE PLANT OVER THERE· (SEYMOUR pulls his hand out of the PLANT as the GIRLS. HE ORDERED UP A RAINBOW TO GO (As the number progresses toward its conclusion. (aside) I JUST CUT MY HAND AND IN A SNAP! SOMETHING OUT OF EDGAR ALLEN POE HAS H~PENED! GIRLS.) GIRLS. it snaps at anything that's handy and-toward the finish . CRASH KERPLUNK! BAM KERBOOM! ZANG KAZUNK! ZAMKAZOOM! ZOWEE. but is hard-put to hide from them the fact that his PLANT has a mind of its oWn. POWEE HOLY COW.. OBSERVE HIM!· HERE'S A CHAP EVERYTHING IS LANDIN' IN HIS LAP! SEYMOUR.. oblivious to the PLANT's antics. pull SEYMOUR and his PLANt' into the number.

look who's here. imagine what he'd do if he ever got mad.. but I can't leave him. . CHIFFON. A UDREY rushes in. Ronnette. Chiffon.) . A CRYSTAL. Don't tell me. [PLA YOFF MUSIC 5-A.) .Hi. CHIFFON.And she ain't talkin' about George Washington Carver. Krelborn!! (SEYMOUR obediently exits R. get another guy. AUDREY. and let him So protect you. Am I late? Did I miss it? ROlIJNETTE. AUDREY.LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS 33 WOW! POW! LOOK OUT BELOW! DON'T IT GO TO SHOW YA NEVER KNOW? MUSHNIK. of stage L. just ( down R... CRYSTAL..He'd get angry. just . but he is hazardous to your health. dump the chump.Seymour? RONNETTE. AUDREY. AUDREY. CRYSTAL. nd we got one all picked out. laughter and good-natured mockery of SEYMOUR's awkward dancing.You got tied up. a little.Why not? AUDREY. Sees A UDREY and executes a "hold everything" ( arm gesture that cues PLAYOFF MUSIC to stop. Hi. I tried to be on time. stage L. but . CHIFFON. A RONNETTE. Crystal. past them) Seymour's first radio broadcast.J GIRLS Ad. (offstage R. trash can) Girl. Hi. CRYSTAL. And if he does this to me when he likes me. Lib.i L. stoop. and position themselves isyou hangin' out with.(joining her) And sure did.C. crossing and sitting on edge of Forestage.) Well.. (crosses to A UDREy) Sure' are. She is out oj breath and her arm is in a chic leopard-print sling. I don't know who this mess .No..(crosses down L. handcuffed . little botanical genius.That's for sure. I wanted· to cheer him on. (CR YSTAL and CHIFFON cross on the down L. '. THREE GIRLS. AUDREY.

A AUDREY. stage L.Bingo. greenest place-where everybody has the same little lawn out front and the same little flagstone patio out back. THAT SEYMOUR'S A CUTIE. (A UDREY remains seated on the stage L. (as Music continues under) Oh no. 'Cause they all look just alike.. Like Seymour. hat kind of place is that.(crossing L. LIGHTS grow soft and lyrical. Mm. This child suffers from low selfimage. It's just a daydream of mine. 'Webegin to see on the faces of the GIRLS grouped around her that they share her dream. RmmETTE. AUDREY. I dream about it all the time.You have a point. And all the houses are so neat and pretty . Suddenly Successful guy like Seymour. And a sweet little guy..) AUDREY. mm. toward CRYSTAL & CHIFFON) Oh. have a problem. IF NOT. JUst a little street in a little suburb.. Not fancy like Levittown. honey? An emergency W room? AUDREY. Oh. narrowing on the GIRLS arid A UDREY. The sweetest.. Gradually. AND I DREAM OF A PLACE WHERE WE COULD BE TOGETHER. I KNOW SEYMOUR.. A little development I dream of.(continued) OF OUR OWN A FENCE OF REAL CHAIN LINK A MATCHBOX . Just off the Interstate. STILL. And the toaster. CmFFON.34 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS ALL THREE. CRYSTAL. Considerate. HE'S GOT INNER BEAUTY.(sits on stage L. nd who amongst us has not? . SO I'VE GOT A BLACK EYE AND MY ARM'S IN A CAST. She (6) "SOMEWHERE THA 1"S GREEN' AUDREY.S THE GREATEST BUT I'M DATING A SEMI-SADIST. mm. trash can) I don't even deserve a Sweet. trash can. CHIFFON. I could never be Seymour's girl. AT LASTCRYSTAL. we're just friends. WELL. Just me. far far from Urban Skid Row.. I've got a past.

.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS A GRILL OUT ON THE PATIO DISPOSAL IN THE SINK A WASHER AND A DRYER AND AN IRONING MACHINE IN A TRACT HOUSE THAT WE SHARE SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN HE RAKES AND TRIMS THE GRASS HE LOVES TO MOW AND WEED I COOK LIKE BETTY CROCKER AND I LOOK LIKE DONNA REED THERE'S PLASTIC ON THE FURNITURE TO KEEP IT NEAT AND CLEAN IN THE PINE-SOL-SCENTED AIR. trash can. ENORMOUS TWELVE-INCH SCREEN I'M HIS DECEMBER BRIDE HE'S FATHER.AS THE SUN SETS IN THE WEST A PICTURE OUT OF BETTER HOMES 35 AND GARDENS MAGAZINE FAR FROM SKID ROW I DREAM WE'LL GO SOMEWHERE THAT'S . SOMEWHERE THAT'S GREEN BETWEEN OUR FROZEN DINNER AND OUR BED-TIME: NINE-FIFTEEN WE SNUGGLE WATCHING LUCY ON OUR BIG. HE KNOWS BEST OUR KIDS WATCH HOWDY DOODY . GREEN (On the last word of the song. . RONNETTE is ..emptying garbage into (he stage R.JLights come up to revealSEYMOUR. LIGHTS narrow down on this image and then fade to:) BLACKOUT SCENE 3 [MUSIC CUE 7. she reaches out as if toward the place she's been singing about.

There are lots of new. (AUDREY enters from the workroom wearing a frilly pink apron. MUSHNIK holds afrozen attitude on the telephone at the stage L. We see now that the place is in the midst of a transformation. WE'LL BE OPEN AGAIN. and waves at RON.) . She sings with SEYMOUR and balletically begins to mop thefloor. ( NETTE. WE'LL MAKE A SHIP-SHAPE SHOWPLACE OF A LITTLE SHOP AND THEN.) . as MUSHNIK continues his phone conversation in pantomime. TOMORROW. indeed. the Screens are open. As MUSHNIK speaks. MUSHNIK. the Audrey Two is on display exclusively here! SEYMOUR and AUDREY. The stage R. stoop. This is the shop you..) WE'RE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION FOR SPIFFING UP AND GROOMING 'CAUSE CUSTOMERS ARE FLOCKING AND BUSINESS HAS BEEN BOOMING (He bounces merrily across the Forestage. Yes. SEYMOUR climbs the ladder and begins to clean the woodwork. heard about on Channel Five news. AND RE-TILING. ~~CLOSED FOR RENOVATION' SEYMOUR •. living flowers in the window. IMPROVED DISPLAYSO WE'RE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION TODAY.36 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS perched on the stage L. US. work table. There's a ladder up c. at trash can) WE NEED REFRIGERATION IN OUR NEW. work table is gone. (on phone) Yes. WE'RE CLOSED FOR DECORATION 'CAUSE FORTUNE HAS BEEN SMILING SO NOW WE'RE DUE FOR PAINTING NEW PLUMBING. In its place is a large object covered by a white drop-cloth. (LIGHTS come up in the shop as SEYMOUR enters' it and MUSHNIK comes to life. but the shop is lit only in silhouette.

WITH GRATIS HOME DELIVERIES ON P AID-IN-FULLS AND C. wall to reveal a brand-new. but all these bandaids make it kinda hard. FORGET-ME-NOTS AND FLEURS-DE-LIS MUSHN'IK. bordered with twinkling lights. WE'RE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION FOR SWABBING-DOWN AND BROOMING 'CAUSE BUSINESS HAS BEEN THRIVING SINCE AUDREY TWO'S BEEN BLOOMING THE PHONES HAVE NOT STOPPED RINGING WITH THE CUSTOMERS WHO SAY: SEYMOUR.'S WE'RE CLOSED FOR RENOVATION(They whisk the drop cloth off of the mysterious object stage R. ANOTHER BUNCH OF PEONIES AUDREY. And all the while. GERANIUMS.ing a dust-cover off of an object on the stage L. who still is cleaning the woodwork) 'Aren't you finished yet? SEYMOUR. We see that he has band-aids on each oj his ten fingers. I slip.D. ) I'm doing my best. .Er . the three of them are singing and dancing like fugitives from Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. he.(Holds up his hands. . revolving the stage 1. work table to reveal a shiny new cash register. PLEASE SEYMOUR. whisk. .. . You've been getting hurt so much lately. very merrily indeed. and MUSHNIK complete the transformation of the shop: spinning a piece of the stage R. (hanging up the phone and addressing SEYMOUR. A UDREY.) ALL. refrigerated display case. also bordered With lights. seems like every time I pick up a pruning shears. (SEYMOUR descends the ladder and during the rest of the number. . SEYMOUR.O. I know . ANEMONES AUDREY. Which is to say. ANOTHER DOZEN DAISIES.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 37 MusHNIK. ALL. AUDREY. work table to reveal a shiny new facade.

work table. Krelborn. speaking shyly as he does) Oh. MUSHNIK. (continued) TODAY!!! (On the last notes of music.) ALL. SEYMOUR(crosses down R. The puppeteer inside keeps it absolutely motionless until the script indicates otherwise . if we lose. a display sign reading "Here It is!" flies in to dangle over and point to the PLANT.. SEYMOUR moves up c. on the down R. After a moment of embarrassed silence. work table.) AUDREY. Mushnik's too hard on you. . Shiva .. I don't mind.You know. Shiva? SEYMOUR. Out on the Forestage.il .(finding a notation on his clipboard) Seymour. . CHIFFON silently starts doing CR YSTAL's nails.. soil. dangerously spiked leaves. he exits L. . Mrs. SEYMOUR JUSt stands there. stoop. Shiva? M AUDREY. and MUSHNIK lakes a clipboard from the. AUDREY takes a «Get Well Soon" arrangement from the refrigerator and crosses to' the stage L.. (taking a black-bowed arrangement from the. 'Shiva. A UDREY moves to the refrigerator.(exploding) You forgot? HoW'could you forger an order like that? (crosses to SEYMOUR and grabs the arrange'ment from him) The Shivas are Our most important funereal account! A big.frigerator and handing it to him) Mrs. After all. to check the PLANTs leaves and . YOU ..' no. and take positions. She will continue to work on the arrangement intermittently throughout the following scene. their business over this .. Abashed. enormous family and they're dropping off like flies! I'm telling you. Er..38 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS revealing it to be AUDREY TWO-now over four feet tall and sporting huge.. ARE . did you send out that order for Mrs. FINISHED!!! (Still bellowing. Skid Row Home for Boys when I was just a little tyke. He took me out of the. CR YSTAL and CHIFFON enter R. rs.) MUSHNIK. I forgot. On applause after the number. sometimes I think Mr. This is Pod #3. to fold up the ladder.. SEYMOUR. Gave me a warm place to i::l i:. I owe him everything..

eat a fancy dinner at Howard Johnson's. I mean. huh? SEYMOUR. of PLANT. I've got a date. and another) You'd be seen with me in a public ( place? Like a department store? AtJDREY. I don't even know what it's like to fly in an airplane.) You'd go shopping ( with me? ' AUDREY.. selfconscious. he crosses us. AUDREY. SEYMOUR.Gee. SEYMOUR. like you. important experimental botanist has to look the part. Or AUDREY.Well. ' SEYMOUR. under the counter. ride a motorcycle. S (Disappointed. SEYMOUR.Sure. (He sits beside her on the stool at the work table. Nice things to eat like meatloaf and water..) No offense. I could help you pick things out. AUDREY. giving lectures. I think you oughta raise your expectations. SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR.Me neither. .I can't tonight. I'll pencil you in. Or . ou could? Y AupREY. Now that we're getting successful. Audrey. But I'd like to go with YOll another 'time. You have life experience. AUDREY. crosses up L. SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR.Me neither.That doesn't matter.) But alotta garden clubs have been calling .asking me to give lectures. Why don't you start with some new clothes? (SEYMOUR.I'll bet you've got alotta dates now. AUDREY. a big. he crosses back DS. Some experience. (Regaining some selfconfidence.You know. I don't have good taste. SEYMOUR.Sure. to get a plant-mister from the windowseat. .) I never even finished grade school. AUDREY.AUDREY. . He fakes a step toward Jzer.) AUDREY. to mistit) I'm a very bad shopper. to put his plant-mister away. Imagine me. Floors to sweep and toilets to clean and every other Sunday off .and another) Tonight? ( . Sure. (crosses down R. ure.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 39 sleep. Seymour. Not dates exactly. but what with all the interviews and photo sessions. SEYMOUR.

it's dangerous..) RONNEITE.. CHIFFON. My date'll be here any minute. crosses to the window. you better come back tomorrow.(spinning him around to face her) Yo! ORIN.1. CR YST AL and CHIFFON backing him toc. Lib) That's him! That's the one! Who do you think you are. and RONETTE. CRYSTAL. This shop is closed today. the GIRLS descend upon him full-force. Ad. Which way to thirteen-thirteen Skid R()w? CRYSTAL~ (producing a tin can marked "Tips" and handing it to CHIFFON) I'm afraid that information will cost you a dollar.) GIRLs. Hey. ladies. (shouted.) ORIN. But if you're like the thousands of others flocking down to see the Audrey Two. SEYMOUR.Oh. And besides. girls. treating her that way? Get outa here and don't come back! Beat it! Get lost! (Etc. . (She.(with a glance to CRYSTAL) You ain't by any chance talkin' about a girl with a black eye? CRYSTAL. (She exits up R. slaps CRYSTAL's hand and squeals gleefully. [MUSIC CUE 8-A. of the down R. (beat) 'Gee. Ladies! Ladies! Please! I'm friendly! Truce! Pacem! 1. (dropping a dollar into the can) Here you go. expression: He positions himself stiffly. just c. stoop. stoop and speaks to the GIRLS. and sits there. As a: matter of fact . man. No prob.Extremely dangerous. I'd better go fix my face. took his dollar! ORIN. ORIN enters down R. who has been . I'm here to pick up my date. And several other medical problems? ORIN. (eyeing him) Your date? CHIFFON. It is? AUDREY. ORIN. I'm not here to buy posies. self-satisfied. (Suddenly.40 LIITLE SHOP OF HORRORS AUDREY. as LIGHTS fade in shop and come up on the Forestage. approaching him from behind. it's no big deal. handing the can back to CRYSTAL) It's right over ( there.' 'f'· .) Ooooh. Wearing a black leather jacket and a smug. . back to audience. Excuse me.watching from the stage t.] SEYMOUR takes the stool from the worktable.

my line of work requires a. (quickly inhaling some nitrous oxide) I would call it an occupational hazard.) You want some nitrous oxide? ' CRYSTAL. (toneless and in rhythm) What did. (He inhales again and gives a little whoop. MY BOY I THINK SOME DAY YOU'LL FIND A WAY TO MAKE YOUR NAT-U-RAL TENDENCIES PAY! (He unzips his leather jacket . . (And removes it. CHIFFO~. girls... Allow me to explain. . YOUR TEMPERAMENT'S WRONG FOR THE PRIESTHOOD . I'm not a monster. ({MUSIC CUE B-B. a backup-group formation. I'D POISON GUPPIES. GUN. BE A DENTIST! PEOPLE WILL PAY YOU TO BE INHUMANE.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 41 (He removes an inhaler from his pocket and offers it. MY MAMA NOTICED FUNNY THINGS I DID~ LIKE SHOOTIN' PUPPIES WITH A B. AND WHEN I WAS DONE.) "DENTIST' ORIN: WHEN I WAS YOUNGER. Say what? ORIN.) Why don't you get lost. . . with appropriate unison 'hand gestures.) DENTIST! YOU HAVE A TALENT FOR CAUSING THINGS PAIN SON. SHE SAID.B. RONNETTE. Vitalis-brains? The last thing Audrey needs is more of your kind.J GIRLS clap out a rhythm and move into. What else would you call it? ORIN. . JUST A' BAD LITTLE KID.'. Yousee. My kind is a very nice kind. she say? ORIN. certain fascination with human pain and suffering.ibacking him up to stage L. revealing a white Dentist's uniform. THArS WHEN MY MAMA SAID. They will maintain this attitude throughout his number: an ultra-cool. ladies. I'D FIND A PUSSYCAT AND BASH IN ITS HEAD.) This stuff is great. YOU'LL BE A. GIRLS. I would call it . ORIN. ). Shangri-La-style detachment. c.

You really love it! ORIN. DISTRESS! ORIN. You love it! ORIN. toneless RONETTE. (GOODNESS GRACIOUS!) ORIN.. DENtIST! ORIN. WHEN I START EXTRACTING GIRLS. I AM YOUR DENTIST! GIRLS.. AND THOUGH IT MAY CAUSE MY PATIENTS DISTRESS GIRLS. AND I GET OFF ON THE PAIN I INFLICT! .) spoken lines are spoken in tight.GIRLS. Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis de Sade? Oh. (FITTING BRACES!) ORIN. Aw shut up! Open wide! Here I come! (sings) I AM YOUR DENTIST! GIRLS. e's a Dentist and he'll never-ever be any good! H ALLTHREE. SOMEWHERE IN HEAVEN ABOVE ME. the Leader of The Plaque. YOUR MOLARS- YOU GIRLS WILL BE SCREAMING LIKE HOLY ROLLERS! GIRLs. AND A SUCCESS! . that hurts! I'm not numb! ORIN. ere he is.42 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS AND TEACHING WOULD SUIT YOU STILL LESS! SON. H CHIFFON. Watch him suck up that gas! Oh my God! CRYSTAL. I KNOW THAT MY MAMA'S PROUD OF ME! NOW I'M A DENTIST . AND I ENJOY THE CAREER THAT I PICKED! GIRLs. BE A DENTIST! YOU'LL BE A SUCCESS! (The following rhythm. . girls. (DON'T TRY IT!) ORIN.

ORIN. (enters shop) I'm not here to shop. right? SEYMOUR.. SEYMOUR. But you'll have to leave now.D.. Fine. Ah ORIN. I hear it's some kind of new species or something. I raised it myself. But the shop's closed. . spit. That's what they tell me. Thank you. Audrey Two. (punctuating his remarks withfriendly but painful little . Right. down R. ORIN. (in toneless backup) Ah ORIN.A. . AUDREY. This must be that plant they're talkin' about on the news. (putting an arm around SEYMOUR) I'll tell you something. toward the shop. He addresses the house directly. You say you raised this thing. he now regardsthem smugly and instructs them with a snide grin:) Now. ORIN puts on his leather jacket and crosses the Forestage. Ah ORIN. Say "Ah"! GIRLS. guy. (ORIN snaps afinger at her. Nice plant. we . CR YSTAL climbs to perch herself on the fire escape. SEYMOUR crosses to stage L. Big. (sees THE PLANT and crosses to it) Hey. . " On PLA YOFF MUSIC.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 43 DS. SEYMOUR. ORIN. I'm here to . This is ( my boyfriend. (gesturing to another part of the audience) Say "Ah"! GmLS. Catchy.) toward ORIN. (continued) Say "Ah"! GmLS. ORIN. Orin Scrivello. An ORIN. Now.D. Shop LIGHTS restore. Seymour. We see for the first time that the back oj his Dentist's uniform is appliqued with apeculiar "bike club" insignia:a bleeding tooth and the letters '~. putting things in order. Whatdya call it? SEYMOUR. thank you. Cute name. (The GIRLS clap out the rhythm as ORIN moves the audience.) Hey.) ORIN. MUSIC OUT sharply as door opens and he pokes his head in. Seymour. (Having made the audience do his bidding. (On the last beat of the number. enters/rom back room) It's okay.S. he strikes a "Leader of the Pack" pose with his back to the audience. how ya doin'? SEYMOUR. . if you don't mind I'm not really supposed to let anyone . RONNEITE and CHIFFON exit R. work table. (Continued.) D.

Shouldn't we be leaving now? . this thing's a big green goldmine.. he turns to SEYMOUR. (crosses to door and barks:) Okay. kid. and stands by the door. (pleased) That's better. no . You' hear me talkin'? SEYMOUR.. scout .) ORIN. arm-punches.44 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS and neck-grabs) Well if I were you I side-jabs. I'm happy here. stoop) He'll think it. MUSHNIK.) You gotta train 'em. Excuse me what? AUDREY. MUSHNIK. ORIN. eh stud? (He gives SEYMOUR a macho punch on the arm. ORIN turns to SEYMOUR and resumes his aggressively friendly manner. somebody'd make you a goddam partner to get their hands on this. You do that. Inside.. . MUSHNIK enters L. -. (ORIN turns quickly toward her with a threatening attitude.'//'. Oh . my bike's outside and double-parked. Doctor .) I'm sorry. it's like a joke. ( Outside the shop. (continued) I'm telling you. MUSHNIK. (to himself) What?! ORIN. You think about it.'- about think about Aud- . AUDREY. Mushnik's Skid Row Florists? Feh. I'll about it. Sorry.I don't care. SEYMOUR timidly' tries to return it in kind..:' 'r ... Hell.. Seymour's very loyal. ORIN. Doctor. Excuse me. 1. (Satisfied.) Well. SEYMOUR. sure as hell wouldn't keep it under a barrel down in a Skid Row dump like this. eavesdropping. ORIN. . A dismalfallure. Sorry.. AUDREY. (crossing down to stage L. Sure. Get your ass outa this dump and take the plant with. SEYMOUR.. you.. . I mean it. This avocado here could be your ticket to the stars. what? AUDREY. ORIN. ORIN. You could take it to any florist shop in town and name your price. But you think what I said.I hear you. Doctor . doctor. (beat) Excuse me.(fust trying to get rid of him) Sure. (desperate to placate him) I'm sorry. (drops SEYMOUR and turns to her sharply) Somebody talking to you? AUDREY. He hears him. ORIN.

Mushnik. He's a disgrace to the dental profession. (embarrassed and miserable) They're right in my bag. (calling outside as he starts to spray THE PLANn I don't like that guy. And you should hear. ORIN. Sweet and good and beautiful as she is. near PLANn What a ( louse. He lights up and starts toward shop. Then let's go. Sir? MUSHNIK. Mr. .) You got the handcuffs? AUDREY. c. himself as he works) No wonder she looks so (to unhealthy. IF HE LEFT ME IF SEYMOUR LEFT ME WHY THEN I'D BE . RIGHT BACK WHERE I STARTED WHICH WAS BROKE AND STARVING SEYMOUR. It's enough to make you sick. with great affection) Seymour= . not a sadistic creep like him! MUSHNIK. NO THE KID JUST·SAID HE'D MULL IT OVER! SEYMOUR.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 45 rey! (She obedientlyjoins him at door. CLOSE TO BANKRUPT . (They exit. GOTT IN HIMMEL.) SeymourSEYMOUR. BEFUDDLED. MUSHNIK. she deserves a prince. [MUSIC CUE 9J) (9)"MUSHNIK AND SON' MUSHNIK.(on Forestage. MUSHNIK. MUSHNIK. MusHNIK. SEYMOUR. sits R.(AI1 idea occurs to him. AND BEREFf THAT'S WHAT I'D BE IF SEYMOUR LEFT! SEYMOUR. on shop step.(in the doorway. the way he talks to Audrey. BESET. aside) HE'LL THINK ABOUT IT? HE'LL THINK ABOUT IT? SEYMOUR.

) MUSHNIK. BEFORE 'BUT COUNT THE CASH THAT'S IN THE DRAWERI I'VE GOT NO CHOICE! .) SAY YES! SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR? BE MY SON! JUST SAY THE WORD. YOU WHAT BUSINESS WE'LL DO .T.) HOW 'BOUT IT.46 (sings) LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY SON?! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE MY OWN ADOPTED BOY? (I NEVER LIKED HIM MUCH. I'M MUCH TOO POOR. I USED TO THINK YOU LEFT A STENCH BUT NOW I SEE THAT YOU'RE A MENCH. SO I'M PROPOSINGl BE MY SON! MUSHNIK AND SON SOUND GREAT THREE WORDS WITH THE RING OF FATE SO SAY YOU'LL INCORPORATE WITH ME A FLORIST'S DREAM COME TRUE MUSHNIK AND HIS BOYCHIK.FOR F. (pulling SEYMOUR up and claspinghis shoulders) (SEYMOUR starts backing toward the door. SEYMOUR. MUSHNIK stays at him. I WANT TO BE YOUR DAD! I WANNA SEE YOU CLIMBING UP MY FAMILY TREE. I'LL HAVE MY LAWYER ON THE PHONE! . WHAT FOR? (SEYMOUR watches in shock as MUSHNIKsings and dances his proposition like a demented refugee/rom Fiddler on the Roof.D.

MUSHNIK. MUSHNIK. Gee ... 'SCUSE THE PHYSICAL EXPRESSION OF MY PRIDE OF THE SWEET PATERNAL MISHEGOSS I'VE HELD PENT-UP-.. Lines are spoken in' rhythm to MUSIC..) SEYMOUR. I'm choking! MUSHNIK. Well? I. MljSHNIK follows. BUT .... MUSHNIK.. grabs SEY- OH. . rocking. (sung) . SEYMOUR relents. SO? SEYMOUR. I WAS JOKING! SEYMOUR.. You? GO AHEAD AND SAY IT. SEYMOUR. . Well MUSHNIK. (spoken) Sir. SEYMOUR. MUSHNIK.. I'D REALLY LIKE TO. MUSHNIK MOUR perilously close to the throat. OKAY I'LL BE SON! YOU WIN YOUR . and looking to heaven) INSI-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-IDE! (SEYMOUR moves out onto the 'Forestage to ponder this strange behavior.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS SEYMOUR.. TELL ME THAT YOU WILL.) MUSHNIK. MR. . SEYMOUR. . (MUSHNIK takes a deep breath and holds it.) SEYMOUR. DON'T BE RASH YOU ALWAYS SAID THAT I WAS TRASH (In a frenzy of paternal enthusiasm. 47 NOW. (chanting. rLL HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL . GEE. .. His face turns red.

MUSHNIKAND SON! (As MUSIC plays out. I promise! MUSHNIK. SEYMOUR looks off in his direction. CONSIDER THE MATTER CLOSED AND DONE. MUSHNIK happily dances off L.48 MUSHNIK. I REALLY AM AND SOMEDAY WHEN YOU'RE EIGHT-THREE I'LL LET YOU COME MOVE IN WITH ME MUSHNIK. I'M YOUR BRAT! BOTH. WHAT A SON! (They tango together. LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (exhales in relief) Hooray. OFFICIALLY. SO COME KISS ME QUICK! MUSHNIK. SEYMOUR. THROUGH THIN AND THROUGH THICK. His son. DAD I'M TOUCHED. . THROUGH SLOPPY AND SLICK. LET'S STICK OUR SENIOR AND JUNIOR SHTICK. SEYMOUR. don't make me sick! BOTH. NOW. Please. then turns back and says to himself:) SEYMOUR. I'm his son. You swear? SEYMOUR. TO THE WORLD. MUSHNIK AND SON THAT'S THAT SEMOUR. ({MUSIC CUE 10.J He sings:) SUDDEN CHANGES SURROUND ME LADY LUCK CAME AND FOUND ME THANKS A MILLION FOR MAKING THE 'MAGIC YOU DO.) BOTH. I win! He'll be my son! DRAW UP THE PAPERS.

he begins to wash the leaves and talk to it. (SEYMOUR picks up a bucket and sponge from up L. its fly trap-like orifice-and speaks.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 49 (He enters the shop and sings to THE PLANT. I'll see you the .NOTE 5] SEYMOUR.. Twoey.. . SWEET PETUNIA MUSHNIK'S TAKIN' . THE PLANT opens its "snout". and tries to squeeze something from afinger. (He rips off a band-aid. (Suddenly. You opened up your . . I'm starving! look. (Still in uprightposition. Look. hoping . I'm gonna run down to Shmendrik's and get a bite to eat. . okay? Then we'll start again on the left hand and . AND SOMEDAY WHEN I OWN THIS WHOLE SHOP. SEYMOUR. old pal. THE PLANT "wilts" suddenly. you talked. in (MUSIC . I haven't got much left. Affectionately. outstretches his hand over the pod. Just give me a few more days to heal. [SEE APPENDIX . and starts toward the door. it "nibbles" at the air. tilting sharply to one side and remaining there. (looking at hand) I can't! PLANT. Feed me. a little lightheadedness. I'm a little hungry. Oh boy. here we go again. Who cares if I've been a little on the anemic side these past few weeks? So what if I've had a few dizzy spells. very still. maybe I can squeeze a little out of this one.) THANKS TO YOU. (He puts the bucket away up c. of PLANT. Feed me! I beg your pardon? trap.. Krelborn! Feed me now! SEYMOUR. [SEE APPENDIX -NOTE 6]) PLANT..) SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR is stunned. A JUNIAH. It's been worth it. Twoey. .CUE: WILT.) Well.) Oh boy. Feed me! SEYMOUR. PLANT. and you saidPLANT. . your thing. I'LL REMEMBER lOWE IT TO YOU. butPLANT.

don't want to hear this. trying a new tack:) Look . then backs up a bit toward the door.) SEYMOUR. that's digusting. you can do it! FEED ME SEYMOUR FEED ME ALL NIGHT LONG! Henh. SEYMOUR I CAN GROW UP BIG AND STRONG. (as its trunk extends and its pod rotates to aforward talking position) FEED ME! SEYMOUR.} Where am I supposed to get it? (PLANT returns to upright neutralposition.) I need some food! SEYMOUR~know. (sings.. on ( edge oj shop platform. Let's face it. That's right. How 'bout I run down the corner and pick you up some nice chopped sirloin? PLANT. How'm I supposed to keep on feeding you? Kill people? . I PLANT. toward workroom) You ( eat blood. FEED ME! SEYMOUR.rises and crosses up c. More! . He sinks miserably to a sitting position C. I (11) "GIT IT' PLANT.50 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS . . FEED ME. 'CAUSE IF YOU FEED ME. . PLANT. SEYMOUR pauses a moment to take this in. open-mouthed "take".. . PLANT. . henh. henh. boy. Twoey. Does it have to be human? PLANT. Does it have to be mine? PLANT. Must be fresh!' SEYMOUR. but you can't get blood from a . Must be blood! SEYMOUR. I know.Audrey Two.Morel SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR FEED ME ALL NIGHT LONG. that something will drop from SEYMOUR's fingertips. still upright) FEED ME! SEYMOUR. haven't got any more. expectant. What do you want me to I do? Slit my wrists? (THE PLANT turns towardSEYMOUR and does a big.

" THEPLANT opens wide. SEnIOUR. LICKY SWEETS I .LITtLE SHOP OF HORRORS 51 PLANT. Kind of you to offer. on which CR YSTAL remains seated.Y MEAL I'fyI THE PLANT WHO CAN MAKE IT REAL YOU GONNA GIT IT! . to a seated position on the windowseat. APPENDIX . THE PLANT focuses strongly on SEYMOUR.. "Crave. PLANT Like deliver. who's to say I can't do anything I want? SEYMOUR. punk? (deliberately. JUST FEED ME AND Y'KNOW THE KINDA EATS. (As it starts to sing.(shaking itself so violently. HOW'D YOU LIKE TO BE A BIG WHEEL DININ' OUT FOR EV-ER. TAKE A CHANCE. GIT IT! [SEE. butNo PLANT. DON'T BE A PUTZ TRUST ME AND YOUR LIFE'LL SHORTLY RIVAL KING TUT'S SHOW A LITILE 'NITIATIVB. .You think this is all coincidence.) WOULD YOU LIKE A CADILLAC CAR? OR A GUEST SHOT ON JACK PAAR? now ABOUT A DATE WITH HEDY LAMARR? YOU GONNA. baby? The sudden success around here? Your adoption papers? SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR. I'M YOUR FRIEND I'M YOUR WILLING SLA VB. (stops dead in his tracks) 'What? PLANT. An inanimate object. PLANT. emitting a gust oj air that "blows' SEYMOUR us. (With the word. . Like see you get everything your . Like what? .I'll make it worth your while. Twoey. THE KINDA RED HOT TREATS TIlE KINDA STICKY. (moves L. pal. c. oj PLANn Look. fire escape. its pot rocks) Does this .' GENIE.NOTE 7] SEYMOUR. secret. look inanimate to you. taking control) If I can talk and I can move. you're a plant. greasy heart desires. WORK UP THE GUTS AND YOU'LL GIT IT! J'M YOUR CRAAAAAAAAAA VEl (RONNETTE and CHIFFON quickly slip onstage and pose under stage R. thanks.) COME ON.

musically pondering THE PLANTs suggestions:) SEYMOUR. MAKIN' ALL THE GUYS ON THE CORNER TURN GREEN .NOTE . (to himself. along edge of shop platform [SEE APPENDIX . Yeah! SEYMOUR. LIGIITS focus on SEYMOUR on the window seat. SEYMOUR climbs off windowseat starts toward down L. turning away from THE PLANT and starting to move slowly c. thinking. GEE.52 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS THEGIRLS will remain there through the rest of the scene. COVERED IN GLITZ (A LITTLE NOOKIE GONNA CLEAN UP YO ZITS) AND YOU'LL GIT IT! SEYMOUR.) HOW'S ABOUT A ROOM AT THE RITZ WRAPPED IN VELVET. (panning to maintain focus on SEYMOUR) You didn't have nothin' til you met me. posed Greek-Chorus-style and singing backup.tap one of its root-legs in time to the music as it prepares to sing the next verse. what'll it be? Money? Girls? One particular girl? How 'bout that Audrey? Think it over! There must be someone you could eighty-six real quiet-like and gitme some lunch! (THE PLANT begins to . I'D LIKE A HARLEY MACHINE PLANT. kid. Meanwhile. 8]) TOOLIN' AROUND LIKE I WAS JAMES DEAN PLANT. Now you're cookin! SEYMOUR. I DON'T KNOW I DON'T KNOW I HAVE SO SO MANY STRONG RESERVATIONS SHOULD I GO AND PERFORM MUTILATIONS? (LIGHTS restore. corner of shop. framed against a fiery red sunset.y and PLANT. C'mon.

C'mon. you dizzy cow! AUDREY. Wait a minute. PLANT. kicking both its root-legs high and singing:) IF YOU WANNA BE PROFOUND AND YOU REALLY GOTTA JUSTIFY TAKE A BREATH AND LOOK AROUND ALOTTA FOLK DESERVE TO DIE! SEYMOUR.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS PLANT. (exits R. corner of the shop.) AUDREY. outside the window.. (abruptly stops dancing. How do ya like that stupid dame? Forgets her friggin' sweater. I don't know anybody who deserves to get N chopped up and fed to a hungry plant. o . along the platjorm edge. Orin! That hurt! ORIN. THE PLANT rocks out. That's not a very nice thing to say. I left my sweater here before.) Hi. us. if your stupid head weren't screwed on! (He slaps her. 53 SO GO GIT IT! . ya little slut. what a friggin' scatterbrain! I'm sorry. watching. . (smacking SEYMOUR with a root. who remains motionless at the DS... ORIN stays in doorway. Through the window. PLANT. Doctor! I'm sorry Doctor! ORIN. moving stage R. of PLANT) Wait a minute. Stupid woman! Christ. (as AUDREY reenters with sweater and moves toward him) Christ.(Getting into the spirit oj the music and thinking about that Harley.R.. ) ORIN. down R. (And at this very opportune moment. sure you do. move it. we see ORIN and A UDREY moving quickly toward the shop. ORIN and AUDREY appear up c. (Enters shop. into workroom) ORIN. THE PLANT returns to its innocent' "Upright Neutral" position and remains motionless. isn't it? SEYMOUR. Seymour. for emphasis) But it's true. Doctor! (To SEYMOUR. Wait a minute. (slowly panning toward the shop door) Mmmmmrn . Doctor! Right away. Now get the hell in there and pick up the goddarn sweater. SEYMOUR does The Twist with himself.) Yes. Move it! AUDREY. of him.

SEYMOUR runs to the door as if to follow them. Weare now in the office of . (I) (YOU) NEED BLOOD AND HE'S GOT MORE THAN ENOUGH! . TREATIN' HER ROUGH SMACKIN' HER AROUND AND ALWAYS TALKIN' SO TOUGH SEYMOUR. Screens are open just far enough to form a "door. SO GO OfT IT! PLANT. I NEED BLOOD AND HE'S GOT MORE THAN ENOUGH. BLACKOUT [SEE APPENDIX-NOTE 10] SCREENS CLOSE PAR TWA Y SCENE 4 {MUSIC CUE 12. Attached to the other side. PAL THE GUY SURE LOOKS LIKE PLANT FOOD TO ME! THE GUY SURE LOOKS LIKE PLANT FOOD TO ME! THE GUY SURE LOOKS LIKE PLANT FOOD TO ME! SEYMOUR.JForestage. A cryptlike trap door opens in the Forestage floor. YOU NEED BLOOD AND HE'S GOT MORE THAN ENOUGH PLANT. [SEE APPENDIX . exit. .54 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (ORIN and A UDREY exit. c.) SEYMOUR and PLANT. PLANT. he and THE PLANT slowly turn toward each other to exchange a dark look of mutual understanding.) Eerie organ MUSIC plays. BOTH. lights tightlyfocused. then stops cold. the shop areamust be kept dark and the Forestage . a drill. from which an antique dentist's chair ominously emerges." (Note: Because the screens are left in a slightly open "door" position in this scene. surrounded by a virtual torture chamber of old-fashioned dental equipment. HE'S SO NASTY. As MUSIC builds. Attached to the stage L.NOTE 9] IF YOU WANT A RATIONALE IT ISN'T VERY HARD TO SEESTOP AND THINK IT OVER. to provide an u. side of the chair is a small tray.

SEYMOUR. met yesterday. . holding a paper bag which reads "Mushnik's Skid Row Florists. And the band-aids.S. IN ORIN. I ORIN. (crossing L. of course. (twisting harder) SAY "AH'! SEYMOUR. I'm not nervous. Are you a little bit nervous about seeing a dentist? SEY~OUR. Right.) Next! (SEYMOUR timidly pulls a gun from the paper bag and levels it. You've got plaque." ORIN. your mouth is a mess. Dr. (wrenching SEYMOUR down into a "tango-dip" position and looking into his mouth) Oooh. You're impacted. no.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 55 ORIN SCRIVELLO. You've got cavities. . (easil» taking the gun away from SEYMOUR. you don't understand. ORIN. . We ORIN. ORIN. Scrivello. . . SEYMOUR. Right. . D. . We'll start with that wisdom toothl . R ORIN. SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR.) . .You need a complete oral examination. o .. .D. SEYMOUR. Seymour? SEYMOUR. right. pain) (in AAAAHHH! ORIN. You're abscessedl .· sweetly taking charge) Hey. and grabbing him around the shoulder at the same time) It's only gonna hurt a little. . toward SEYMOUR. I don't want my teeth examined. c. And the gun. Do you have an appointment? SEYM:OUR. Of course you want your teeth examined. No! ORIN.I . So why are yOUpointing a gun at me. No. The guy with the plant..· depositing it on the tray. I ORIN. kid. (twisting SEYMOUR's arm painfully behind his back) Say "Ab"! SEYMOUR. . SEYMOUR nervously enters stage L. Oh. am? I ORIN.IORIN. Seymour Krelborn. . SEYMOUR. guess that's me. (emerging through "door" u.

the chair. Seymour! Have you ever seen the results of a neglected mouth? (From behind could happen to you! ·SEyMOUR.) Look..56 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS SEYMOUR...giggle gas before we begin increases my pleasure enormously. (fondly) It's an antique. In fact . I'm gonna want some gas for this one! (starts up c. gotta go! I ORIN. sweetly) Oh the gas isn't for you. Gas? ORIN. side of chair. getting excited) This is gonna be a challenge. rusty! It's ORIN. (A Great Idea dawns on him. This is gonnabe. SEYMOUR. Seymour. .) SEYMOUR. NO! ORIN.be with you in a moment. Sturdy. What for? Dulls the senses! SEYMOUR.) SEy¥oUR. (with Sincererespect and admiration) They don't make instruments like this. heavy. dull. he pulls out a largepicture of a nauseatinglyneglected mouth: diseased gums. Nitrous oxide. Only til you pass out! (ORIN picks up the drill. I'll. (flips. Seymour! This (ORIN drops the picture and crosses us. It makes a threatening buzz. Wait! Aren't you gonna give me Novocain? ORIN. It's for me.) I'm gonna use myspecial gas mask! Just relax. Unless I take immediate action! Let's get started! . Seymour! SEYMOUR. I thought you weren't going to use any . where he will remain through the rest of the scene) We'll just rip the little bugger outa there. a little .SEYMOUR up 'out of the "dip" and spins him into the chair. t could? I ORIN.a pleasure. Seymour.. rotten teeth. (getting excited again) I want to really enjoy this and I find that .) SEYMOUR. But it'll hurt! ORIN. of SEYMOUR to stage R. (beat. any more. (stops at opening in Screens and turns back to SEYMOUR.Thank God. Whatdya say? SEYMOUR. There's always time for dental hygiene. ORIN. . That's the drill. What's that? ORIN.

NOW DO IT NOW! WHILE HE'S GASSING HIMSELF TO A PALPABLE STUPOR. SEYMOpa. (On a MUSICAL CHORD. (~till offstage) Hahahahahahahahahaheyheyheyhey. THE TIMING'S IDEAL AND THE MOMENT IS SUPER TO READY AND FIRE AND BLOW THE SICK BASTARD AWAY! ' ORIN. NOW PO IT NOW! JUST A FLICKER OF PRESSURE :RIOHT HERE ON THE TRIGGER . I'll just take the mask off . SEYMOUR He takes the gun from the tray and sings:) (13) "NOW (ITS JUST THE GAS)" SEYMOUR. of SEYMQr. ORIN. Higher than a kite. Seymour. heyahayahayahay! ' ! • . wearing a huge clear plastic bubble over his head. gonna do to your. (laughing offstage) Hahahahahahahahahaheyheyhey' heyahayhayahayl SEMOUR. the back of this "gas mask". he tries to . FOR THE GIRL! FOR THE PLANT! YES. Ohhhboy. the things we're. I WILL! ORIN.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (ORiN disappears through the Screens. He stands directly us. t guess I've had about enough of this stuff.. I amflyin' now! Oh. '.) Otul'f. ORIlY appearsfrom behind the Screens. (laughing offstage )HAhahahahahahahahehehehehebeupy~yahayhayyahay! SEYMOUR.ffil AUDREY WON'T HA VB TO PUT UP WITH THAT PIG . mouth! Henhenhennhenhenhenyeahl Well.R~ who remains seated but turns to took at him. 'fOR ANOTfIER'DAY .now and .NOW NOW 1 NOW .A. 57 is alone. A long tube' trails from .. BUT/CANT (SeYMOUR deposits the gun back on the tray.

beat. . The mask-it's stuck! I can't get if off! Jesus Christ. ~lN . It won't come.Uh. (ORIN sinks to the ground. Then s1owl. and silently struggles to get the mask off.-1 I . (A (He giggles. I could asphyxiate in here! Hey Seymour .gimme a hand. DS./ LIKE A SAPPY. It's stuck! SEYMOUR.. ANY MOMENT I COULD DIE! THO'I GIGGLE AND I CHORTLE BEAR IN MIND I'M NOT IMMORTAL. '..ti ~ "C'mon. Seymour . 1. Pause. DON'T .~ .) .. ITS JUST THE GASITS GOT ME HIGHBUT DON'T LET THAT FACT DECEIVE YOU.) Hey .1 FOOLED IF I SHOULD GIGGLE . Guess what? SEYMOUR. (Then he realizes something:) HAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEEE laughing. (taker aback) Well? {beat) He says well? (Another . SEYMOUR very slowly turns away. . of SEYMOUR. BE .) IT REALLY IS A ROTTEN WAY TO GO. What? ORIN. He tries again. I don't think you understand .) (He stumbles down -'CAUSE L. 'LESS I HELP HIM GET THE MASK REMOVED.. . getting an idea. He holds this position.) SEYMOUR. . Seymour . . What? ORIN.. will ya? (ORIN leans in toward SEYMOUR. ).. .. himself) (to WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS AN ETHICAL DILEMMA. . MUSICAL CHORD. HAPPY DOPE. Well- . .58 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS pull it off. WHY THIS WHOLE THING STRIKES ME FUNNY.. I DON'T KNOWSEYMOUR. . C. don't kid around" attitude.v nd f/riiettr With"'fZ ~ a rtn.

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS HE DOESN'T HA VE A PRAYER TRUE THE GUN WAS NEVER FIRED, BUT THE WAY EVENTS TRANSPIRED, I CAN FINISH HIM WITH SIMPLE . LAISSEZ FAlRE.

59

(ORIN remains on the ground, rolling about, trying in something like slow motion to get the mask off, as if he were floating in space.)
SEYMOUR.

ORIN.

hahahahahaeeeeeeeyyyyyyyennnnnh!

WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS NOW! A TRICKY MORAL PROBLEM. DO I HELP REMOVE THE DO IT NOW! MASK OR LET HIM GO FOR LACK OF AIR? COULDN'T SHOOT HIM HELP ME NOW! WHEN I TRIED, BUT THE FATES ARE ON MY SIDE. I CAN OFF THE GUY BY NOW! STAYING IN THE CHAIR!. ORIN. (convulses with laughter. . .) Hahahahahahahaha-

.

(. . • Then falls on his face in a dead faint. For a moment, .we think he might be dead. Then, suddenly, his head pops up and he sings:)' ..
ORIN.

DON'T ... BE ... FOOLED IF I SHOULD CHUCKLE LIKE HYENAS IN A ZOO, IT'S JUST THE GAS- . (laughs weakly) IT TURNS ME ON. . BUT DON'T LET MY MIRTH DECEIVE YOU, ANY MOMENT I'LL BE GONE! ALL MY VITAL SIGNS ARE FAILING,

60

LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS

'CAUSE THE OXIDE I'M INHALING MAKES IT DIFFICULT AS HELL TO CATCH MY BREATH! . (Emitting a long, agonized gasp, ORIN pulls himself partway up, then falls backward, landing with his arms limply draped over SEYMOUR's knees in a peculiar "semi-crucifixion" pose.) ARE YOU DUMB? OR HARD OF HEARING? OR RELIEVED ... MY END IS NEARING? ARE YOU SATISFIED? (with his last breaths) I ... LAUGHED ... MY ...

,

I I

SELF ...

TO ...

(On the MUSICAL BEATS which follow, ORIN silently convulses four times, as if laughing or hicoughing, without making a sound. Then, on the last beat, he freezes in midconvulsion. )
SEYMOUR.

Death? (ORIN suddenly drops to the floor.y BLACKOUT CODA

[MUSIC CUE J3-A.J Darkened Forestage. Screens still in "door" position. SEYMOUR and ORIN are gone. As th Dentist's chair disappears through its trap door, we find CR YST AL in a pool of light on the-stage R. fire escape.
CRYST.AL.

SHING-A-LING WHAT A CREEPY THING TO BE fiAPPENIN' , PLANT. (offstage) Feed me! RONNETTE and CHIFFON. (appearing in a pool of light stage on L. stoop) SHANG-A-LANG FEEL THE STURM AND·DRANG IN THE AIRPLANT. (offstage) More, more!

LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS

61

(The Screens open. MELODRAMA TIC MUSIC continues and LIGHTS come up in the shop to reveal SEYMOUR, gingerly lifting a severed handfrom a blood-stained bucket. He carries the hand to the open-mouthed PLANT, who loudly snarfs it down. )
PLANT.

(continued) More, more!

(SEYMOUR repeats the procedure with a string of intestines. Guilty and sickened by his deeds, SEYMOUR picks up a white bundle from the floor: ORIN's uniform. .\1 USIC builds. SEYMOUR runs out of the shop; dashes across the Forestage, and stuffs the uniform into the down ... trash can. THE PLANT laughs hysterically, licking its chops, as the terrified SEYMOUR runs offstage. The MELODRAMATIC MUSIC gives way to a brief honkeytonk plano riff as the placard reading "Little Shop of Horrors" j11~ in, . the screens close, and the GIRLS exit.) BLACKOUT END ACT ONE

ACT TWO
SCENE

1

In Black, MUSIC CUE 14 begins, Screens open, and the placard flies out. LIGHTS up simultaneously on shop and Forestage. A UDREY TWO (Pod #4) is now absolutely enormous, sitting up C., dominating ful/ya third of the playing area. [SEE APPENDIX NOTE 11] The sign in the window now reads: "Mushnik and Son". Two new red telephones (Phone A. & Phone B) sit on the stages: work table. And on a shiny neW work table, stage R., are two more telephones (Phone C & Phone D). At rise, AUDREY is on Phone C and MUSHNIK is on Phone A. RONNE1TE and a CUSTOMER are down C., on the street. CRYSTAL and CHIFFON are strolling across Forestage from stage R. to stage L., chatting Ad. Lib. Everyone is talking at once. A . cacophony of sound. The effect of this and the song which follows is one of orchestrated chaos.
MUSHNIK.(on Phone A) Mushnik and Son, please hold. Audrey will be right with you. RONETTE.Step right up and see the Amazing Audrey Two. The Strangest the most Interesting . . . AUDREY.(on Phone C) Five thousand dollarsworth of African violets, two thousand dollars-worth of baby-blue-eyes. The pink, the green the yellow the purple.

(hangs up, crosses to CR YSTAL and CUSTOMER. I've CHIFFON on Foreseen it. stage) URCHINS!
Look, here's ten apiece. Deliver these to the Dutch Pavilion and these to the Japanese Consulate. (Girls exit, one right and one left.) Audrey, I'm late for the lawyers. Tell· Seymour to see that Corman gets his Wolfbane! (As

RONNETTE. ot N unless. you've seen it recently, you ain't. She's got Amazing, MultiColored Warts! CUSTOMER. Warts?

RONNETTE. nd A she's over six feet . MUSHNIK crosses tall!!

(Phone D rings.) Yes ma'am. Nice delphiniums, geraniums, nasturtiums, forsythia, japonica, wisteria, you name it, we sell it!

62

(crossing L. a large box. SEYMOUR enters Forestage R. RONNETTE.ihop and climbs to . with the ringing telephones:) '. Remarkable! RONNETTE.) SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR Callsto MUSH~ NIK:) SEYMOUR. (leading him into shop) You won't . can you help me with these phones? (Phone A rings...) Mushnik and Son. can you' hold? (SEYMOUR and AUDREY are now alone in the shop. .. Let's go. Mushnik. (¥USHNIK exits.believe it. (picks up Phone A and answerst) Mushnik and Son. who has been hus. and gorgeous gladiolasl .are our specialty! Camellias. Goodbye now.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS Forestage to exit a. ou Y said it. TOMER. SEY~ heads r. ~tage R. to pick up the 'ringing Phone B) Sey.) Mushnik and Son. Come Main! 63 CUSTOMER.) those and ten of Can you hold those .. hepaticas. here you go. please? (Phone D rings. Skid Row's Favorite Florists (CUSTOMER its. can you hold? (She puts B on desk. can you hold.perch on fire escape. ) ex- (Phone Brings. crosses R.got I those bridal wreaths to Elizabeth Taylor's suite.. You bet. coping .. To CUSTOMER:) Yessir. and picks up·Phone C..) Mushnik and Son. magnolias. She speaks into Phone B:) Skid Row's Favorite Florists. Simply won't believe it. toward the shop. SEY:'MOUR enters the ~hop and takes over ~ONNErrE.mour. Want some flowers? CUSTOMER. (ling the CUS. I'll take three of those and five of those and six of (Phone C rings. Skid Row's Favorite Florists. She's real pretty. There it is. please? AUDREY. (Phone Crings. Funerals .. Skid Row's Favorite Florists. As they pass each other. She exits '.. CUSTOMER. Mr. Oh yes sir.

FINE . A) FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.D) FORTY DOLLARS. (Hangs up Phone D. LEAVING FROM ST. (still on Phone. (into Phone. (into Phone B) . INFLATED ESTIMATE WE WROTE? FOR THE ROSEBOWL? WELL. IT'S THE ROSEBOWL! IT SEEMS THEY WANT TO BUY THE FLOWERS HERE FOR EVERY SINGLE FLOAT! AUDREY.. you were saying? (sings) FLOWERS FOR A PROM CORSAGE? (She hangs up Phone C and picks up Phone D.64 LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS (He puts Phone A on the desk and picks up Phone B. Puts Phone C to her ear and hears some terrific news!) SEYMOUR. (still into Phone A) THEY'LL BE THERE IN THE MORNING! (hangs it up) AUDREY. ANDREW'S ROMAN CATHOLIC CHURCH AT NINTH AND VINE? (Phone C rings.) SEYMOUR.) "CALL BACK IN THE MORNING' AUDREY. (into Phone B) FLOWERS FOR AN ENTOURAGE? AUDREY. SEYMOUR. .) AUDREY. THE ROSEBOWL! YOU KNOW THAT BIG. she sings into it:) HOLD THE LINE. SEYMOUR hangs up' Phone B and picks up Phone A from desk. (into Phone D) FLOWERS TO THE FUN'RAL HOME? SEYMOUR. sings to SEYMOUR:) THE ROSEBOWL!! SEYMOUR. (Picking up Phone C. (into Phone C) Now. (into Phone C) CAN YOU HOLD? (She covers mouthpiece o/Phone C with her hand and excitedly -.

aside.) SEYMOUR. (picks up Phone D and sings into it. . she sings.(picks up Phones A &B and sings into Phone B) CAN YOU HOLD? SEYMOUR. AUDREY.(Holding Phone A to her chest.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (Phones ring in rhythm: D-B-A-A.(into Phone A) CAN YOU HOLD? " SEYMOUR. AUDREY.. he sings." work table. A UDREY hands him Phone C and crosses to stage L...(spoken) You can't keep the tournament waiting! 65 ( They switch places: SEYMOUR crosses to stage R. (into Phone C) THAT WAS ME . " "SEYMOUR. (into Phone C) ON CHANNEL THREE! AUDREY..(into Phone A) MUSHNIK AND SON SEYMOUR. (puts Phone C back to his ear) AUDREY. (hangs up Phone C and speaks to AUDREY:) I get . still holding Phone C in his other hand) MUSHNIK AND SON . work table. aside. SO WHY AM I FEELING SO DE~PRESSED? SEYMOUR. still holding Phone A) SEYMOUR. (into Phone D) PLEASE HOLD (puts Phone D on desk) AUDREY. (Holding Phone C receiver to his chest. IT'S BUSINESS LIKE WHO'D HAVE EVER GUESSED.(sings into Phone B) JUST A MINUTE (then hangs it up.) TH~ BUSINESS IS DOING GREAT.(into Phone A) PLEASE WAIT SEYMOUR.) IT'S JUST AS THE PLANT FORETOLD AUDREY. (into Phone C) THAT WAS ME! AUDREY.) AUDREY. .

A UDREY speaks. WON'T YOU? (hangs it up) . Phone Brings. (into Phone A) SORRY.) Carnations or the yellow roses? SEYMOUR~ (into Phone C. AUDREY. IT'S THAT NEW ACCOUNT AUDREY.(into Phone C) SORRY. (into Phone A) . LOOK! IT'S SIX O'CLOCK! SEYMOUR.(into Phone A) SEVEN THOUSAND BOUTONNIERES? (Phone C rings and SEYMOUR picks it up.Still holding Phone B in one hand. (She hangs up Phone C. Skid Row's Favorite Florists! AUDREY. AUDREY. Her? I thought we finished yesterday. THAT REPORTERSEYMOUR. SIR.(turning to the clock) SEYMOUR. CALL BACK IN THE MORNING. and sings into it.) SEYMOUR. WILL YOU? (hangs it up) AUDREY. making a note oj something. THOSE ARE OUT OF STOCK. I'M TOO WORN OUT TO FIGHT.(into Phone D) CALL BACK IN THE MORNING. AUDREY.) SHE WANTS ANOTHER INTERVIEW SAID TO BRING THE PLANT WITH YOU SEYMOUR(handing her Phone C) -. (puts Phone D on desk and sings into Phone C) WERE YOU WAITING LONG? rM SORRY.) Mushnik and Son.66 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS two tickets to the game! (He picks up Phone D from desk and speaks into it. he picks up ( Phone A from the desk with the other. SIR! (spoken) One minute and I'll get her for you! AUDREY.)' PLEASE.(into Phone D) Allergic to chrysanthemums? AUDREY.) SEYMOUR. THAT'S THE RIGHT AMOUNT SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR. (They switch places again: she crosses to SEYMOUR and hands him Phone B.) DAISIES ONLY COME IN WHITE AUDREY.(into Phone C) .(into Phone A) nOLL YHOCKS ARE HARDIER WHICH ONES WOULD YOUR WIFE PREFER? (She puts Phone A down on desk and picks up Phone B. I'VE ONLY GOT TWO EARS! .

allfour Phones ring at once. Seymour. I . CAN YOU? (hangs up Phone B) AUDREY. and crossing down c. miserably) Look what I did.) SEYMOUR.(AUDREY and SEYMOUR pick up two Phones each. do you mind locking up for me? I'm all in.. . Forestage. .) 'Ta da .(in shock) Seymour.. entered from the windowseat. (He reappears wearing a black leatherjacket. SEYMOUR. (crosses out of shop.) AUDREY.What a day. .) I . (removing the jacket and dropping it to the floor) I'lltake it off. stopping at the ·stoop and wilting gracefully against the rail. one minute. Phone C rings. On the last beat of MUSIC. (to himself. and slam them down sideways in their cradles. (to her) I only bought it to impress you.(regaining her composure somewhat. AUDREY. You don't like it? AUDREY.) I don't know what's come over me. Audrey. I'll take it . She can barely speak. toward AUDREy) Just don't cry. work table and straightening things there) Can't it wait til tomorrow? SEYMOUR.. That's all I ever meant to do. I'll burn it. (beat) What do you think? AUDREY. rises. Please. SEYMOUR.(into Phone C) CALL BACK IN THE MORNING. I want to show you something.) CALL BACK IN THE MORN-ING! BOTH. THANK YOU! (hangs it up) 67 (On MUSIC.. . I. (Into Phone B. (offstage) It won't take long.(crossing to stage L.) CALL BACK IN THE MORNING. (She is overcome with emotion. and exits into back workroom) (She runs out of the shop onto stage L. I guess I've been a . AUDREY. takes the large white box with which he ( Uh. they sink onto their stools-exhausted. . I've been shopping for a new wardrobe like you told me to and . what a day . .LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS SEYMOUR.back. I don't know.. The ringing abruptly stops. .

trash can. (sits on trash can) I worked there on my nights off when we weren't making much money. don'tAUDREY. . SEYMOUR. that's all behind you now. Nice guys.S. I mean.Miss him? I never felt so relieved as when they told me he'd vanished. I'd put on cheap and tasteless outfits. D. Because secretly . SEYMOUR. There's alotta guys would give anything to go out with you. That's not true. (sings) LIFT UP YOUR HEAD WASH OFF YOUR MASCARA. It was like a miracle. then it's partly my fault.I don't deserve a nice guy. (15) "SUDDENLY SEYMOUR" SEYMOUR. lately. I still do. The gutter? AUDREY. You know where I met him? In The Gutter. Underneath the bruises and the handcuffs.) You don't know the half of it. (beat) Not to mention all the money I've saved on Epsom salts and ace bandages. R. AUDREY. Low and nasty apparel and I'd . on the edge of the .I deserved a creep like Orin Scrivello. you see. Seymour. ..moving to just up ( (She turns away from him.I feel guilty. SEYMOUR.. (She sits c.68 LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS t.starting to cry softly~[MUSIC CUE J5. if he met with foul play or some terrible accident of some kind .The Gutter. Not niceones like this. she rises and crosses to stage L. you know what I saw? A girl I respected. Aunasv.D. . don't you? AUDREY. I've led a terrible life. (kneeling beside her) Audrey. .) little under the weather. I wished it. It's a nightspot. of her) It's Orin isn't it? You've been down in the dumps ever since his mysterious disappearance. (sits beside her) Then what's the matter? AUDREY. .. You miss him. . You don't have anything to be ashamed of. Forestage.) SEYMOUR. I guess. you shouldn't waste one more minute worrying about that creep. Audrey. (Getting emotional. SEYMOUR. Audrey. SEYMOUR. SEYMOUR. You're a very nice person and I always knew you were. leaning her head against the stoop railing.j IiJiYMOUR rises and goes to her.

lUr>.. SEYMOUR.. listening. TAKE MY KLEENEX. lr>. SHOW ME YOUR FACE. '.) MEET A MAN I'D FOLLOW HIM BLINDLY SNAP HIS FINGERS AUDREY.SWEET UNDERSTANDING . aside. SEYMOUR "lS HERE TO PROVIDE YOU ". SEYMOUR'S YOUR FRIEND.. WIPE THAT LIPSTICK AWAY. CLEAN AS THE MORNING. with Gospel fervor) YSEYMOUR STANDING BESIDE ME' DON'T GIVE ME ORDERS :..) .~UDDENLY .) SUDDENLY SEYMOUR JS STANDING BESIDE YOU \".LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 'HERE.HE DONT CONDESCEND! 'SUDDENLY SEYMOUR HERE TO PROVIDE ME UNDERSTANDING UR'S MY FRIEND. (He rises... I KNOW THINGS WERE BAD. BUT NOW THEY'RE OKAY. (rises and holds a hand out toward her) ME THIS FEELING TIL FOREVER . 69 '(rises .) pADDY LEFT EARLY WAS POOR YMOUR sits on trash can. passionately. .. (He removes his glasses. (aside) NOBODY EVER .YA DON'T NEED NO MAKEUP HA VB TO PRETEND.TREATED ME KINDLY and crosses dramatically down c.

and CHIFFON enter stage L. .70 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS TELL ME THE BAD TIMES (She turns and moves toward him. watching and smiling. On the stage R. up on stage L. OOH.OOH.) YES YOU CAM ALL. FOR LOSERS LIKE I'VE BEEN IT'S SO HARD TO SAY . (really letting loose) SUDDENLY SEYMOUR I SEYMOUR and GIRLS. arm extended. stoop.. (SEYMOUR heroically hoists himself completely up onto trash can. (CR YSTAL. WASHED AWAY AUDREY.) AUDREY. (moving onto stoop toward her) WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING . ) HE PURIFIED YOUI AUDREY.. THE GIRL THAT'S INSIDE ME SEYMOUR and GIRLS. (SEYMOUR poses himself with one foot: on the trash can.OOH SEYMOUR. HE PURIFIED ME! SEYMOUR and GIRLs. SUDDENLY SEYMOUR! AuDREY. Forestage and take positions just outside the shop. LEARN HOW TO BE MORE AUDREY. fire escape.. she loses her nerve and crosses past him. (passionately) SUDDENLY SEYMOUR! SEYMOUR and GIRLs. SUDDENLY SEYMOUR I AUDREY..) ARE CLEAN.) PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT IT'S STILL STRANGE AND FRIGHTENIN' . as the hero of a musical comedy should. RONNETTE continues to observe. SHOWED ME I CANigrabbing the stoop rail in a gesture of determination and triumph) SEYMOUR and GIRLs. (Just as she gets to SEYMOUR.

' looking off into a Glorious Future... . Daddy . stage c. .' moving closer to her) (emotionally) WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING classic lovers' duet pose. . ns.. SEYMOUR..•You know he disappeared . switches on flash- .'(A UDREY enters the shop. AUDREY. (SEYMOUR puts his arms around herfrom behind.. (Arms still around each other.) It seems the plot is thickening among my employees . As soon as they clear. and moves to down c. ) ALL. .• W.. still locked in a lovers' clinch. AUDREY. (star. Krelborn. . ) I MUSHNIK..) . I wonder if you'd excuse Seymour and me for a little while. of shop window. . (crossing into shop) That's not very funny. (moves away a little. edge. He stares at them ominously for a moment.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 71 .'. . . . ' S~rMOUR.. MUSHNIK enters L. 'She instantly assumes an innocently seated pose on the stoop (fliling. CRYSTAL and CHIFFON exit L. then speaks:) . (He crosses into the shop. SEYMOUR and AUDREY lock in a passionate embrace. of shop. ) MAN! (When MUSIC ends. . work table.. Please Mr. WITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING (more forcefully. . Audrey.) . a handy flashlight and paint scraper as he passes the stage L. they turn their heads forward. grabbing . So! (A UDREY and SEYMOUR pull apart quickly.. afraid to give in to her feelings . Dad.ITH SWEET UNDERSTANDING . Don't you "Mister Daddy" me. . He stands looking at A UDREY and SEYMOUR. us... MUSHNIK. MUSHNIK. (Kneels on the floor. ing straight at SEYMOUR) Perhaps you'd like to go visit your Dentist friend. completely) SEYMOUR. The SWEET UNDERSTANDING!' SEYMOUR'S MY (YOUR) ( They finally turn and face each other.

His. He did. and begins to move slowly and deliberately across the Forestage. THE PLANT slowly movesfrom upright . Goodnight. In time to them. boychik. she grabs the doorpost in confusion and worry. toward the down R. (still on the floor. MUSHNIK. then speaks:) Little red dots all over the. He rises in time to them. (MUSIC CUE I5-A resumes with two more MELO- ([MUSIC CUE 16. Of course it is. . (taking an envelopefrom hisjacket pocket) I had a pretty strange afternoon. sifting it into the envelope. Mr.linoleum! SEYMOUR. The police. trash can. floor.) MUSHNIK leaves the shop. Seymour. light and begins to examine something down there very intently. And then I began to think about certain things I've noticed around here. .) . isn't it? What's that supposed to mean? MUSHNIK. I'll call for you. Allover the MUSHNIK. . Seymour. MUSHNIK. disappearance of this motorcycle dentist. Audrey? I'll catch up with you later. DRAMATIC CHORDS.. depositingflashlight and scraper on table as he goes. that's right. lately. . SEYMOUR. (lifting a "little red dot" from his paint scraper. Goodnight. AODREY. AUDREY. He speaks without looking up. then placing the envelope back in his pocket) Yes.. I spilled some Ha. MUSIC·CUE I5-A: two MELODRAMA TIC CHORDS. After my lawyer's appointment. Seymour. It seems they made a routine investigation into the MUSHNIK. (stepping toward him) I . In . didn't he? Forgive me. Office! SEYMOUR. his voice dripping sarcasm. SEYMOUR.72 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS along like he asked. then quickly turns and exits. son. . And when they didIt seems they found a Mushnik's Skid Row Florists bag ~. You're acting pretty strange. examining something he has picked up with his paint scraper) Little red dots. Exactly what I asked myself. Pop.) Oh. Hard to keep things clean around here. what's he talking about? What's he doing? SEYMOUR. (guiding her to the doorway) Why don't you run (She steps outside the shop. I was called to the police station. if that's okay. Especially when they only remove pur garbage once a month! waiian Punch and it stained. .. Mushnik.

· And it begins to look like a motive! PLANT. (sits on down R. right? . tone. . (rises. THE PLANT isfocused on them. What does that have to do with . MUSHNIK. .. us.) SEYMOUR.) I THINK ITS SUPPERTIME!· SEYMOUR. YOU GOT NO PLACE TO HIDE. following MUSHNIK) Where are you going? MUSHNIK. (starts out front door. PLANT. it's best not to dispose of it on Skid Row! . ' PLANT. of trash can) I'm innocent! I'm innocent! MUSHNIK. MUSHNIK tosses the uniform at SEYMOUR. stoop) I sawit last week and didn't think twice. MUSHNIK. nOW. (with a big. circular lip syncb down c..ORIN's dentist's uniform. THIS! A dentist's uniform! (On a MUSICAL CHORD. PLANT. PLANT. SEYMOUR. HE'S GOT YOUR NUMBER NOW. who turns us. Once he's out of the way.. If you want something removed in a hurry. you move in.pulling a snapshotfrom his pocket and hold- HE KNOWS YOUR LIFE OF CRIME! MUSHNIK.) (16) "SUPPERTIME" (Starts to sing in a sultry.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 73 neutral to lips forward position. YOU GOT NOWHERE TO RUN! MUSHNIK.y . What are you talking about? (They are both down R. insinuating. (turning back toward MUSHNIK. But then I catch you kissing the Dentist's girlfriend . throwing dentist's uniform us. the wordsare the thoughts in SEYMOUR's head:) PLANT. MUSHNIK. MUSHNIK. then pans its focus as if able to see MUSHNIK through the shop watt. Although MUSHNIK and SEYMOUR don't hear them. MUSHNIK reaches into a trash can and pulls out . holding it in horror. HE KNOWS JUST WHAT YOU DONE. And the little red dots seemed innocent enough. .

confused and torn . Seymour . and asked if I could identify it.. we'll head over.s. (turns us. showed it to me. . and starts toward shop) I'll go lock up. PLANT. trash can.) The police found it in Scrivello's office. Did you? MUSHNIK.. 0 . SEYMOUR. will you come? PLANT. PLANT. (Still holding up the picture. SEYMOUR. (spoken) FOR MY SUPPERTIME! . I didn't do it! (MUSHNIK has now backed SEYMOUR all the way to the down L. They don't suspect you at all. (up onto the stoop itself) If you don't.A. SEYMOUR sinks to a sitting position on it.D. PLANT pans to follow them. ) MUSHNlK. the girlfriend . . C. PLANT. Your baseball cap. MUSHNIK towers accusatorially over him. the uniform. HE'S GONNA TURN YOU IN! MUSHNIK. he starts to slowly back SEYMOUR across the Forestage toward the down L• trash can. No. stoop) Just so my conscience will rest easy. Now. THE PLANT focuses on them strongly and sings:) HE'S GOT HIS FACTS ALL STRAIGHT MUSHNIK... (stepping up onto step of stage L. PLANT. PRIME MUSHNIK. But they don't know about the dots. Then come with me to the police and tell them that! (SEYMOUR rises and crosses down L. THEY'RE GONNA PUT YOU IN JAIL! SEYMOUR. YOU KNOW HE'S ON YOUR TRAIL MUSHNIK. I'll have to go tell them myself.74 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS ing it under SEYMOUR"s nose) Then how do you explain this?! SEYMOUR. trapped. HE'S u. A picture of a baseball cap? MUSHNIK. PLANT. Okay..

. slowly crosses to the shop. (MUSHNIK enters shop and moves quickly stage R. He will not move or look at MUSHNIK from now through the end of the scene. MUSHNIK. and stands there in anguished inde- cision. COME ON THINK ABOUT ALLTHOSE OFFERS! (As THE PLANT sings the following. COME ON . of right work table. COME ON AIN'T NO TIME TO TURN SQUEAMISH! COME ON.. Meanwhile. COME ON YOUR FUTURE WITH AUDREY! COME ON. moves to the DS. didn't you? Er . no. us. and lights pick up RONNETTE on stage B. SEYMOUR. foreboding shadows. THE PLANT returns to upright neutral position just long enough to seem immobile while MUSHNIK passes through. '.y COME ON. You put them in the safe. THE WORLD WILL B~ YOURS.tin. I SwEAR ON ALL MY SPORESWHEN HE'S GONE. SEYMOUR. . ) PLANT. let's go. outside the shop. into the work room. (PLANT returns to upright neutral.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 75 . shaken and terrified. (continued) COME ON. of SEYMOUR and MUSllNIK. SEYMOTJR. The sunset casts long. (Stands frozen. fire escape. Seymour. THE PLANT begins to slowly drop into "Feeding" Position. enters it.) (enters from back room) Okay. don't you want to collect the day's receipts so you deposit them in the morning? MUSHNIK.) Er . (MUSHNIK crosses to just left of SEYMOUR. .y . As soon as MUSHNIK has disappeared into the work room. CR YSTAL and CHIFFON appear stage L. right corner. . THE PLANTs focus returns to SEYMOUR.

THE PLANT very slowly begins to close. then chomps down mightily. MUSHNIK screams. The money's inside the plant? GIRLS. Simultaneously with the chomp. He glances back at SEYMOUR. there's a MUSICAL CHORD. MUSHNIK hesitatesfor a moment. .I .for the money. Another scream.76 GIRLS.. So how am I supposed SUP-PER-TI-HI-I-IME .. THE PLANT begins to open. COME ON .. Very slo '{y. (SEYMOUR nods. COME ON.Iri the plant. MUSHNIK just stands there.'. of dollars. and when he does. In the plant? GmLS.. (beat) Knock? (MUSHNIK shakes his head.. SEYMOUR... He cries. COME ON . SEYMOUR. LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS COME ON. no. more sustained MUSICAL CHORD as . then crosses to US. place.L. of PLA . No thief AW. GIRLS. IT'S SUPPERTIME ..Just . COME ON .. A second MUSICAL CHORD as THE PLANT chomps again..) .. As soon as he's in. (In a trance-like. Why not? SEYMOUR.. right? MUSHNIK. .. Where is it? COME ON. MUSIC gets louder and stranger... SUPPERTIME GIRLS. A third. SEYMOUR. Greek Chorus fashion:) . MUSHNIK. thought that'd be safest would ever look in there.. it's too late. then decides "what the hell" and knocks on THE PLANT three times. .. then shrugs and climbs inside to look ."T. "Seymour!" as THE PLANT raises its "jaw". It takes MUSHNIK a moment to realize what's happening. I . It's thousands GIRLS. Knock. gaping at it in awe. MUSHNIK. to get it? MUSHNIK. MUSHNIK. When THE PLANT is fully open. MUSHNIK. forgot the combination.

CHIFFON. not now. (taking his stage R. side) We saw you on Channel Five News! ·CRYSTAL. stage R. When LIGHTS restore. Lib. .LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 77 the PLANT executes one last chomp and some chewing: [SEEAPPENDIX .Is it true the shop is decorating the Senior Prom? . Screens are closed and SEYMOUR stands c.) BLACKOUT SCREENS CLOSE SCENE2 MUSIC is continuous from the previous scene. from the stage R. they are simply interested in keeping SEYMOUR onstage for a purpose which will become obvious. with a squeal. (He tries to get away. side) Can we have your auto( graph? ClilFFON.And you gonna be so rich! SEYMOUR. CRYSTAL. . RONNEITE looks on coaly. Their manner is exaggerated. stoop to c. (Ad. In reality. fire escape) There ( he is girls! I found him! There's Seymour! (RONNETTE descends thefire escape as CRYSTAL and CHIFFON run from stage L. You looked so handsome! ClilFFON.. ittrue Audrey Two is Grand Marshal for the Rose Is Bowl? . screaming like teenaged fans.NOTE 12] LIGHTS fade quickly to . ClilFFON and CRYSTAL.) I CRYSTAL. Please girls. They hold him c. taking his stage L.) . with a "basketball" maneuver..) Seymour! Seymour! Ooooh! Seeeeymour! . (17) "THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT' RONNETTE. of them. on Forestage.

CRYSTAL. onefoot on stage R.Is that him? RONNETTE. do I know you? BE. honey. and sing as SEYMOUR examines the contract in amazement. THEY SAY THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT YOU KNOW THE BOOK DOESN'T LIE IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF MERIT IT'S NOT DEMAND AND SUPPLY THEY SAY THE MEEK GONNA GET IT . He's been askin' allover. AT FOUR T.That's him.) GIRLS. Mr. trying to escape them) Yes..'S FIRST HOME GARDENING PROGRAM YOU'LL MAKE A MINT AND OUR RATINGS WILL SOARl BERNSTEIN. to the ground.. Now please . He goes sprawl- ing. bubbe- (He hands SEYMOUR a 'contract and SWiftly exits R.78 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS SEYMOUR.V.i shot lookin' for you. pussycat! SEYMOUR. face down. moving stage R. girls. lab . He is afast-talking media-maven. SEYMOUR KRELBORN. Now that he's where she wants him. stoop) ... . (She trips him as he tries to pass. L... From uptown. andCHIFFONenterL.. she looks downcooly and speaks:) There's another big hot(BERNSTEIN. group themselves c. played by the same actor who played ORIN.(pulling himself off the ground and sitting on stage R. where tan he find you? You're famous.. Bernstein. RONNETTE... (gives RONNETTE several dollars) Thank you. (RONNETTE distributes money to the other GIRLS and all three exit. sweetheart .RONNE'fTE. SHOW FOR ME "SEYMOUR KRELBORN'SGARDENING TIPS" FOR HALF AN HOUR..RNSTEIN. dollface . enters stage R.. YOU PRINCE YOU MY NAME IS BERNSTEIN I'M WITH NBC I CAME DOWN HERE TO CONVINCE YOU TO DO A WEEKLY T.V. ON SUNDAYS.. it's all ( true. ( Of course not.. (sings) HEY. BERNSTEIN. Seymour. stoop) Er . Seymour. but are yougonna be happy when you do (spoken in rhythm) Seymour . standing beside him.) Seymour Krelborn! Sweetie. baby.

. Your own T. Sign that contract! . . L. She speaks with a slight English accent. the confused and miserable SEYMOUR to down L. blocking SEYMOUR's exit. (sings) I'D LIKE A WORD WITH YOU. . a. 79 (SEYMOUR rises and crosses as if to exit.(moving past girls. Seymour .Coast to coast! CHIFFON. YES. THE EDITOR'S WIFE WE WANT YOUR FACE ON THE COVER OF THE DECEMBER THIRD ISSUE OF LIFE. LUCE. my precious. LUCE enters L. Lucel We found him! He's right here! SEYMOUR. . peering offstage. CHIFFON. babydoll . LUGE is played by the actor who played BERNSTEIN.. (extending her hand and speaking rhythmically:) Cutie ..Your face on screens! CHIFFON. RONNETTE cooly stands stage L... (calling offstage) Here he is.CHIFFON. resuming their exaggerated teenaged fan attitude. Your name in lights! CRYSTAL. waiting for someone.. LOVER I'M SURE YOU KNOW ME . She wears a business suit with a little fox fur at the collar. MRS. my sweet. sweet thing. THE FRONT OF LIFE MAGAZINE. hat with a veil. . c. Mrs. When he reaches c. NOW THAT'S AN HONOR WE SO SELDOM GRANT.V. Isn't it exciting? RONNETTE. . . starting off t: again) Look girls. My darling. show! CRYSTAL. as the GIRLSfreeze in a Greek chorus-style pose.) . CR YST AL and CHIFFON block' his way. • .Sign it! ALL. Sign it! CRYSTAL. and high heels. She backs . . ) MRS. So delighted to make your acquaintance. sweetness .LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS AND YOU'RE A MEEK LITTLE GUY YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET WHAT'S COM IN' TO 'EM BY AND BY. Meanwhile. l 'don't want to' see anybody else today! (MRS.

and stares at the second contract. (rises. Here heis.. ) . and starts backing him stage R. nose to nose. Meanwhile. America's most amazingand largest .. squeal delightedly ·as the . How did you do it? THEY SAY THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT YOU KNOW THE BOOK DOESN'T LIE IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF MERIT IT'S NOT DEMAND AND SUPPLY THEY SAY THE MEEK GONNA GET IT AND YOU'RE A MEEK LITTLE GUY . then drop to crawlaround the floor. gathering up the loot and singing. a dazed SEYMOUR stands c. LUCE. who has simultaneously entered. moneyfloats down around them. He has made another lightning-fast costume-and-character-change to become a smooth. The GIRLS snap out of their freeze. R. LET'S SAY THURSDAY PLANT.fabulous Audrey Two.. unidentified plant. then swiftly exits R. This is the same actor who played BERNSTEIN and MRS. (RONNE1TE takes SEYMOUR by the shoulders and spins him around toface SKIP SNIP. Seymour! You're gonna make it straight to the top! (exits L. RONNETTE turns to SEYMOUR. trenchcoated East Coast agent.80 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (producing a contract from her purse and handing it to the amazed SEYMOUR) (She takes a wad of money from her purse.) GIRLS. calling ominously to someone as she does:) ." MRS.) . WE'LL SEND SOMEONE DOWN. FOR SHOTS OF YOU AND YOUR BEAUTIFUL (On the word "PLANT. YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET WHAT'S COMIN' TO 'EM BY AND BY! (gathering money from floor) (CHIFFON exits. LUCE tosses the wad of money into the air over the GIRLS.) CHIFFON. stuffing money into her blouse) Life Magazine! Ob my goodness. CRYSTAL. sir! The incredible Seymour Krelborn! Owner of the. RONNETTE.

(RONNETTE turns and exits. WHAT AM I SAYING? NO WAY.) . Skip Snip. MY BANK ACCOUNT WILL THRIVE. kid. OF HORRORS 81 SNIP. (thrown and confused) I don't think so. William Morris Agency. (SNIP extends a contract to SEYMOUR and freezes. to true c.So this is Seymour Krelborn. . MY FUTURE'S STARTING I'VE GOT TO LET IT 'STICK WITH THAT PLANT AND GEE. AWFUL. Instead" he turns forward and sings his inner thoughts.(backing SEYMOUR to c. THEN TALK. clutching the other two contracts in his hands:) SEYMOUR.) Well it's a good thing I came down in person then. ANSWER QUESTIONS.LITTLE SHOP.) (with afew steps L~. NASTY STRINGS? I SIGN THESE CONTRACTS. IT'S EDUCATIONAL. EVIL'THINGS! NO! NO! THERE'S ONLY SO FAR YOU CAN BEND! NO! NO! THIS NIGHTMARE MUST COME TO'ANEND! NO! NO! YOU'VE GOT NO ALTERNATIVE.THE PLEASURE IS YOURS NOW LET MY FIRM REPRESENT YOU WE WANT TO BOOK YOU ON LECTURING TOURS COLLEGE CAMPUS. (sings) FORGET THE CABLE WE SENT YOU IT'S NICE TO MEET ME. Have your phones been busy! Did you get our telegram? ' SEYMOUR. AGENT.C.) We've been trying to reach you. FORGET IT! IT'S MUCH TOO DANGEROUS TO KEEP THAT PLANT ALIVE! I TAKE THESE OFFERS. THAT MEANS MORE KILLING WHO KNEW SUCCESS WOULD COME WITH MESSY. Pleased to meet you. L. (moving down R. THAT MEANS I'M WILLING TO KEEP ON DOING BLOODY. baby. LUCRATIVE TOO. SEYMOUR does not take the contract.) (He sinks to a sitting positionon edgeof Forestage. ROTARY CLUBTHE KINDA BOOKINGS MY OFFICE CAN DOSHOW THE PLANT. LIGHTS turn strange and dream-like.

IT'S THE ONLY SOLUTION. . YOU'LL MAKE A FORTUNE.. THEY SAY THE MEEK SHALL INHERIT SEYMOUR. long gloves. THAT'LL DO FINE. WITHOUT MY PLANT.. SNIP. and elaborately teased and styled Girl-Group wigs-all presumably purchased with their recent tips. They movein a slow. THOUGH IT MEANS YOU'LL BE BROKE AGAIN AND UNEMPLOYED. IT CAN'T BE AVOIDED. to SEYMOUR. BUT THEN . He looks up. WHERE DO I SIGN? YOU KNOW THE BOOK DOESN'T LIE .) . high heels. GIRLS. crosses down c. IT'S NOT DEMAND AND SUPPLY~ THIS COPY'S MINE. GIRLS. WE SWEAR IT GIRLS. MORE! (CR YSTAL. IF LIFE WERE TAWDRY AND IMPOVERISHED AS BEFORE SHE MIGHT NOT LIKE ME SHE MIGHT NOT WANT ME . stylized. SNIP.82 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS SEYMOUR OLD BOY. THE VEGETABLE MUST BE DESTROYED! (Beat. as SNIP simultaneously comes our oj hss freeze. (taking contractfrom SEYMOUR) . and hands him the contract. THERE'S AUDREY. (as SEYMOUR signs) RIGHT ON THE LINE IT'S NOT A QUESTION OF MERIT SNIP. and CHIFFON enter stage L•• WNr· ing sequined gowns. LOVELY AUDREY. RONNETTE. dream-like way. GIRLs.) . SHE MIGHT NOT LOVE ME ANY . GIRLS.

work table. . YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET WHAT'S COMIN' TO 'EM! YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET . SO LONG. SEYMOUR. AND . SNIP. and OIRLS exit L. ( One by one. and of course its enormous trap (still Pod #4). YOU KNOW THE MEEK ARE GONNA GET WHAT'SCOMlN'TO 'EM! . SEYMOUR. exhausted'and harried. Screens open now to reveal the shop. . He's aware that his "pact with the devil" is now complete.) BY . SNIP exits R. A large portrait of MUSHNIK 'hangs prominently-with a label . and he's doomed. MUSIC ends.I GIRLS. 83 COULDN'T GOT WRONG.) .. GIRLS and SNIP. BY! (As MUSIC plays out.. and SEYMOUR. . still seated on Forestage. IF ON THIS FACT YOU RELY~ SNIP.NOTE 13] now occupies most of the shop's playing area in one way or another: vines. leaves. GIRLs.. LIGHTS narrow on. each GIRL approaches SNIP and is handed a tendol/ar bill. we see on SEYMOUR's face that he's trapped. WHAT'S COf\..) BLACKOUT SCENE 3 SOUND: Thunder. is hunched over a typewriter at stage R. guilt-ridden. and miserable.:UN' TO 'EM! . "late one stormy night. SOUND: More thunder. LIGHTS: Another lightning flash. LIGHTS: Lightning projection on closed Screens. " THE PLANT [SEE APPENDIX . (During the last line of the song.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS SNIP. tendrils. BYE-BYE.

THE PLANT continues to chant "Food! Food! Food! Feed me food!" as SEYMOUR loses control and starts shouting:) . can't take it! Stop squalling! You're driving me I crazy! Just shut up. Don't get cute. (looking away petulantly) Tough tittyl ·SEYMOUR. But no . Krelborn! Food! Food! Food! Feed me (SOUND: Thunder. If only you'd touch a mouse or flies. I made you and I can break you. I promise. . . (ominously) And then you'll find me somebody? SEYMOUR. can you? That's all I ask. ahead. . (without turning toward it) Look. -h to divulges Then you'll never be hungry again. (in a childlike falsetto) C'mon. It's all about you.84 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS reading: "Our Founder". LIGHTS: Lightning in the us. Layoff. Life Magazine will be here in the morning. you're so particular. (crossing to staget. PLANT.. with me. PLANT. Can't you see I'm busy? PLANT. PLANT. Gimme some peace and quiet or I'll tell 'em the truth. PLANT. SOUND: Thunder. cut the crap and bring on the meat! SEYMOUR. Jades) (dropping into a lips forward position as thunder FEED ME! FOOD! FOOOOOD! SEYMOUR. just hold out one more night. shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! . Feed me. SEYMOUR. to take our pictures . I ain't et since Mushnik and that was a week ago! SEYMOUR. circular lip-syncb movement) (A beat of silence and then an earthshaking bellow:) PLANT. Watch your language! PLANT. Aw. Twoey. SEYMOUR. (with meaning he obviously does not w. break me! You think it's easy living with Go the guilt? PLANT. work table and flipping furiously through a dictionary) If only you'd eat meat. Krelborn. SEYMOUR. food! Chowtime. GRUB!!1 (with a large. . window. will ya? For God's sake. Gimme a break! I've gotta finish my speech for the lecture tour.

and we'll live a nice.(following him) What's settled? (He pulls out a gun..looking down) Well.me. SEYMOUR keeps shouting "Shut Up!" in a frustrated frenzy. Huh? AUDREY. to edge of shop platform. (crossing to stage R. . I'll take that T. afraid to ask:) Audrey . normal life together..I'd still love you. . . and a machete. ' SEYMOUR..) AUDREY. (beat) What's the big deal about a little plantfood? I think running this place all by yourself is too much for you. And Tomorrow morning . That I was just a nothing again. .) AUDREY. just suppose for a minute ( there'd never even been an Audrey Two. Seymour. They'll snap the photo. something . . and rat poison .LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 85 (As Thunder fades.(crosses quickly to him) Seymour-(She slaps him daintily. babbling senselessly:) Don't you thinkI'm trying to think of some way . . No more squalling for blood! AUDREY.Anything. picture-you know who bites the dust! AUDREY.. . (turns his head away.J) A gun! SEYMOUR. [MUSIC CUE 18. Bullets. . AUDREY. quiet. .V. . Would you still like me? AUDREY. . in that note you told me he left you? The one that said be was going out to his sister's house in. SEYMOUR. No more night feedings. SEYMOUR. work table) It's the matter with me! Don't you think I know it needs food? Don't you think I know it'll die if I don't feedit and soon? (sits at work table. someone. knives. job.(quickly) What feedings? What blood? I don't get it.Seymour! SEYMOUR. (He rises and crosses down c. we'll be famous. Seymour.(closing door behind her) Seymour! What's the matter with you? SEYMOUR. A UDREY enters L. Mushnik say he'd be back? SEYMOUR. zechoslovakia. PLANT resumes neutral upright position.You know. rat poison. Right. He could be gone a very C long time.'.. You're scaring . (looks up) Then it's settled. . .) You're hysterical. almost banging his head on the desk. Thunder fades. . could I ask you something? AUDREY. (with great intensity) Right. right after Life Magazine 'takes our . bullets .. When did Mr. a nobody. wearing a yellow rain slicker.

No plants at all.(putting an arm around herprotectively and looking off into the distance) Nice little house. he pricks his finger on a vine. Forestage. (shaking its pod a sullen "no" and lowering its "chin") Uh Uh.} A UDREY enters stage R. Audrey. (A UDREY exits. I can't leave you in this condition.) We'll go away frorri ise. but hurts his injured finger on a key and exclaims.Under no circumstances. You're talking so peculiar. so stop asking. AUDREY.here. SEYMOUR.) I'll explain everything to you tomorrow. Don't worry about me.) I can't take much more of . THE PLANT speaks threateningly:) PLANT. Please.. to his typewriter. I'll run down to the corner and get you a pound of rare roast beefv Maybe that'll hold you til Life Magazine gets here.(returning gun to his pocket and turning to her gently) There's nothing to be scared of. SEYMOUR.86 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS . (Beat: MUSIC becomes lyrical: Somewhere That's Green theme. . SEYMOUR closes the door to the shop behind her. PLANT. tries to work. this. He crosses R.(rises and crosses L. PLANT. No way. (kisses her forehead quickly) Don't worry about anything. Look. As it chimestwelve. Meanwhile.As AUDREY .Look. I'll take you to that little development you always dreamed about and once we're there we'll live happily ever after. !JUSIC: Tic." THE PLANT snickers and returns to upright neutral position. AUDREY. Toe theme." to which SEYMOUR responds with a dirty look. She sighs and leans plaintively on the fire escape. THE PLANT emits an interested "Oooh.. the clock advances to midnight. She seems troubled and Fay Wray-like. wearing a white nightgown and clutching SEYMOUR's jacket around her shoulders. Just go home now. FEED ME! SEYMOUR.I will not. SEYMOUR. (beat) And no plants. "Ouch.(leading her toward the door. Seymour. nice little car . stage R. Feed me! SEYMOUR. As SEYMOUR turns from the door. Feed me! SEYMOUR. it's my last offer. PLANT. I prom- SEYMOUR. Yes or no? ([MUSIC # 19.

AUDREY. SWEETHEART TELL ME DARLING WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?· PLANT. Forestage. AUDREY. I TOOK A SOMINEX BUT VOICES IN MY HEAD KEPT 'SAYING: GO TO SEYMOUR TALK TO SEYMOUR (She moves to down L.. it turns back to SEYMOUR and says in a conciliatory tone:) LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS PLANT. LITTLE LADY.Oh my God! .. [SEE APPENDIX-NOTE 14] AUDREY. THE PLANT slowly pans stage R.") direction.\7' pans to follow her. THE PLANT opens its "mouth" and R. AUDREY. BUT GEE.87 enters. In the shop.) (REPRISE) (19) "SOMINEX/SUPPERTIME" AUDREY.. Done.(moving toward shop) Is somebody in there? PLANT. straight in A UDRE)'j HEY. .(turns with a start) Who . AUDREY. just inside stage L..J) in shock. When MUSIC ends. Great. HELLO.) I DRANK SOME TEA . And don't think you're getting dessert. holding strong focus 011 her. THE FEELING WASN'T GONE SEYMOUR. NO IT AIN'T SEYMOUR- (THE PLANT subtly nods "yes. YOU LOOKIN' MIGHTY SWEET! . (SEYMOUR exits.It's better than nothing. Who said that? PLANT. SEYMOUR. THE PLA.) ITS ME! (The PLANT rises to its full height. Fine. I COULDN'T SLEEP. pans toward A UDREY. YOU LOOKIN' CUT~ AS CAN BE. sees it and freezes . (MUSIC CUE 19-A.(opening the door slowly) Seymour? Seymour? PLANT. doorway. (sings from inside shop. It magicallyseems to be aware of her presence.

GLASS AND NO ICE. work table. PLANT. (smooth) Relax and gowith it. Am I dreaming this? PLANT.") Here you go. [SEE APPENDIX-NOTE ~5] (As THE PLANT resumes singing and grows more forceful. HEY LITILE LADY. AUDREY. (Pulling a watering can/rom atop the refrigerator. Spoken strongly and in rhythm:) AUDREY. poised to pour water into ITS open "mouth. She leans againstthe doorframe. No. right? PLANT.) I'll get the can. I'LL DRINK IT STRAIGHT. . It talks.. A UDRErs physical attitude become more Fay Wray than . PLANT. _DON'T NEED NO TWIST OF LIME! AUDREY. baby.' SURE DO. I don't know if I should. doll. will ya sweetheart? AUOREY.88 PLANT. COME ON AND GIMME A DRINK. (her protective instincts getting the better of her) Your branches are dry. clutching it behind her. PLANT. I need me some water in the worst way. with honest but attractively-posed p''lr) You just want water. ever. (sweetly) To you. AUDREY. I'm a goner. LITILE SHOP OF HORRORS' YOUR FRIENDLY AUDREY TWO! THIS PLANT IS TALKING . honey. clutching it in graceful terror. (innocently) A favor? PLANT. branch) Look at my branch. neither. (sings) . Dome a favor. ' PLANT. (She relents and helpfully crosses to stage R. And you ain't in Kansas. (moves to just infront of stage L. AUDREY. (Beat. AUDREY. DON'T NEED NO. AUDREY. ("looking" down toward stage L. she moves closerto THE PLANT.) . refrigerator.. AUDREY. (turns forward on ¥USICAL CHORD) 'Something's very wrong here. 1 don't believe it. poor thing. . PLANT. BE NICE. Believe it.

----. with the roast beef. Please. are you alright? AUDREY.-. (charging in from L.-_-- . . - -----.Help! SEYMOUR._--- -- ~--. AUDREY. done terrible things. . She has clearly been badly wounded and has to lean heavily against him for support. which opens' wide and chomps down on her. which he drops) Audrey! No! Get offa her! Get offa her! (He pries THE PLANT open and pulls A UDREY out. Seymour. Audrey. with great resolve:) I want you to.) No. __ . . and clinging to him) Yes.But.) Don't die. SEYMOUR.. She is now inside the Pod from the waist up. The Pod and branches lower to the floor. Branch descends upon AUDREY.) SEYMOUR'. I need you. AUDREY._-- ~ - --~- ~ .) AUDREY. join your dentist friend and Mushnik. But not to you. They're right inside. softly. (quietly tortured) It's true. and it'll be easier. SEYMOUR. Then. 89 (as its stage R. .Mr. and lie perfectly still. . AUDREY. [SEEAPPENDIX-NOTE16] It pulls her to and fro during the jollowing:) PLANT. entangling her in its tendrils) AND NOW ITS SUPPERTIME! (A UDREY screams and begins to fight with the Branch. as if in disappointment. Mushnik were already inside . exhausted. (Pause.(wilted. .. the plant just said the strangest thing just now. Relax.LIITLE SHOP OF HORRORS PLANT. please don't die. I did it. with total sweetness and calm) You know. SEYMOUR. desperately trying to escape... sweetheart. Never to I've you.(looking into his eyes) And that's what made it so big and strong and you so famous? .(fading gracefully. (continued) Audrey ._------. bouncing up and down with it as it "chews't. (MUSIC [CUE 19-Bl begins as he sinks to his knees to cradle her in a "Pieta"pose. (She collapses to the floor. (The Branch shovels A UDREY toward the Pod. It said that Orin and . Come on. I fed them to it.-_------ ---_.

.) . ceremoniously. toward it.. The sunset goes nuts. and carries AUDREY slowly. You don't know what you're saying. SEYMOUR turns us. '. Together. SEYMOUR. THAT'S . The image is one of Wagneriansplendor as SEYMOUR stands for a moment. GREEN!· (She kisses him gently on the nose. (She starts to try to rise. SOMEWHERE . (19-C) "SOMEWHERE THATS GREEN' (REPRISE) YOU'LL YOU'LL YOU'LL YOU'LL WASH MY TENDER LEAVES SMELL MY SWEET PERFUME WATER ME AND CARE FOR ME SEE ME BUD AND BLOOM.. like a wounded Saint Joan having a vision) It's the one gift I can give you. AUDREY.But I do. leaning on SEYMOUR for support..When I die-which should be very shortly~(lyrically) Give me to the plant. What? AUDREY.90 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS [MUSIC CUE: 19-C] SEYMOUR. so it can live.) (She turns forward. A choir of unseen voices . MUSIC swells romantically (19-D). We'll always be .. to bring you all the wonderful things you deserve. takes her last breath. (beat. (pulling herselfprettily but with some dif- ficulty to her knees.) OH.. (beat) So in a way . CONTENTED AND SERENE ..) (She collapses against him a little. THE PLANTs mammoth trap opens very slowly. and us.. (They are now both on their knees. LIGHTS mirror the mood. holding the dead A UDREY in his arms. ) (And reaches out toward the place she's always dreamed of) (She reaches further. DON'T YOU SEE? FINALL Y I'LL BE I'M FEELING STRANGELY HAPPY NOW. then I'm part of the plant. facing each other. He rises to help her. and dies as SEYMOUR scoops her up into his arms. beaming now insaintly self-sacrifice) And if I'm in the plant.

A night has passed. enters stage 1. crosses down c. being sucked down into the monster's insides. played by the same actor who played ORIN. the Rod rising to a full standing position) MUCH BIGGER! SEYMOUR~ (MUSIC CUE #20. (its voice deep and majestic now.) Why. He's right in there. as if. every household in America will have one. (He steps out of the shop and speaks to CR YST AL. As LIGHTS change to morning. and sell them to florists across the nation. (He pulls a-contract out of his jacket. sweetheart. SEYMOUR.YSTAL appears outside the shop. when she is gone. Licensing and Marketing Division. (PATRICK .. lost.(to himself as the whole thing comes together) Bigger than hula hoops. MARTIN.) I've got a truck waiting outside and some pots. Finally. with the right advertising. Patrick Martin.) MARTIN. as SEYMOUR gently lays his love inside THE PLANT.G. On the last strains of MUSIC. Martin. (MARTIN and CR YST AL exit. He is . L. of him. Mr. boy. we'll start taking cuttings right now. He then kneels and miserably watches A UDREY disappear.) . touch. If you don't mind. MARTIN crosses up L. . SEYMOUR silently rises. numb.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 91 provides an M.That's him.M. moves down c. Pretty soon. Let me explain in more detail.) It's a very simple licensing deal. Audrey Twos everywhere.) .. (Beat. develop little Audrey Twos. (slipping her a five) Thanks. the clock on the wa/J has moved to nine o'clock. The Pod slowly closes.MARTIN. and sits on the edge of the shop platform. in under) Every household in cuttings. CRYSTAL. this could be bigger than hula hoops. Imagine boy. he does not move or look at him. 'I've got a gilt-edged proposition for you. [SEEAPPENDIX-NOTEI7] As the music turns from majestic to poignant. and crouches just up L•. ' MARTIN. ) ( Leave me alone.stunned. We take leaf PLANT. SEYMOUR starts to get it. (enters the shop) Krelborn? Seymour Krelborn? SEYMOUR. to SEYMOUR. CR. toward door. yet another sleazy opportunist. Still shattered. Wait for me.(almost inaudible) I'm not interested. World Botanical Enterprises. " SEYMOUR. stage L.

SHERLOCK! SEYMOUR. work table and Pulling a machete out from under it) Maybe you're tough on.. NO SHIT. (crossing to stage R. [SEE APPENDIXNOTE 19] After another moment's silence. World Conquest! PLANT. GIVE UP. SEYMOUR braces himself.. the pod opens. But in there! In that pod . Thousands of you . We're talking about .You're a monster and so am I! PLANT. CR YST AL. takes a few steps down C.) Feh! Give up.We're not talking. Then THE PLANT opens a little. and brandishes the machete in the air. THE PLANT laughs..(rises. . RONNETTE. And that. of the Pod and tries to pry it open with the machete.. MUSIC ends. and fires) Take that. And that. and neatly spits the machete out onto the floor. Too bad! .. AND I WANT TO THANK YOUl SEYMOUR. (Drum plays two rim-shots to indicate the sound of the gunfiring. turns. and PATRICK MARTIN appear OPEN UP! OPEN UP! OPEN UP! . pulls out gun. the outside.. . SEYMOUR. THE PLANT resists. PLANT.) And that.. about one hungry plant here. . CHIFFON. SEYMOUR turns. isn't it? PLANT. and freezes. runs to the PLANT and dives inside. The Podslams shut on him. Eating.(crossing to stage L. And that and .Ii 1': I I 92 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS· America . small fry . (two more rim-shots) And that. A long beat of silence. KRELBORN! SEYMOUR.. FEED ME! SEYMOUR.) NOW! (Sustaining the cry "Now!" like Custer crying "Charge". SEYMOUR.y (At last.You ate the only thing I ever loved! PLANT. That's what you've had in mind all along. work table) Never! (producing a container from a shelf under the table and flourishing it) Here! Rat poison! (crosses to plan t and forces a handful of po is on into the Pod [SEEAPPENDIX-NOTE 18] Eat that! EAT IT! EAT IT! EAT IT! PLANT. (It spits the poison out. I'll hack you to bits! I'll get you from the inside! Open up! (He moves to just R. chews.

edge of the shop. The GIRLS wear white lab coats decorated with green World Botanical Enterprises insignias.while the other GIRLS are getting theirs-she moves ceremoniouslyto DS. flanking . Musical chords. CRYSTAL and CHIFFON ja// into step and move in a stately manner to positions on the Forestage. where he deposits his . them.) Okay girls. by the work table. boysl We're ready to start loading! (THE GIRLS look at each other ominously.. MARTIN._--------------------------- _J . The truck's waiting outside. "us.. MARTIN carries a carton oj empty flower pots. and MARTIN holding at the stage L.Mr..carton. SUBSEQUENT TO THE EVENTS YOU HAVE JUST WITNESSED SIMILAR EVENTS IN CITIES ACROSS AMERICA.) . (He distributes apot to each oj them.. and places it in her pot. (She steps off of the shop platform onto the Forestage. He steps out oj shop and calls out toward the audience with great importance:) Open the van. Theybegin to move. CHIFFON crossing up R. GIRLS. Each finds a leaj hanging on a vine.. CRYSTAL up L. CR YST AL and CHIFFON start moving D. the GIRLS crossing to c.C. (MUSIC [CUE #21J in. -------- - --- ------------_. She holds her leaf-pot in both hands. work table.. and sings with serious Gospel fervor:) RONNETTE. Once RONNETTE has taken her cutting. Right through the "wall. (On the' vamp between verses. and RONNETTE crossing down L. like' a religious icon. ) .RONNETTE. faces the audience. with a similar attitude.LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS 93 stage L. removes it.) SUBSEQUENT TO THE EVENTS YOU HA VB JUST WITNESSED. Krelborn? (All jour enter the shop.C. Screens close behind ._----. EVENTS WHICH BORE A STRIKING RESEMBLANCE to THE ONES YOU HAVE JUST SEENBEGAN OCCURRING . Krelborn? Mr. of her.) All you have to do is snip some of the smaller leaves and replant them in these pots.

LIlTLE SHOP OF HORRORS HAVE JUST WITNESSED! UNSUSPECTING JERKS FROM MAINE TO CALIFORNIA CALIFORNIA! MADE THE ACQUAINTANCE OF A NEW BREED OF FLYTRAP .. FINDING JERKS WHO WOULD FEED THEM THEIR FILL AND THE PLANTS PROCEEDED TO GROW .. AND THIS THEATRE .. of them. (continued) AND DES MOINES! AND PEORIA! AND NEW YORK! .. AND GROW . ) GIRLS. And something else has appeared on this creature.. now with huge and powerful new branches. [SEE APPENDIXNOTE 20] . GIRLs. SEYMOUR. CRYSTAL • CRYSTAL. stoop. AND BEGIN WHAT THEY CAME HERE TO DO.. they move with slow. us. . ORIN. which make it wide as the shop itself. I AND GOT SWEET-TALKED INTO FEEDING IT GIRLs. ) THUS THE PLANTS WORKED THEIR TERRIBLE \\'ILL. (As they continue to sing. YES THEY DID! BLOOD . synchronized processional steps to the edge of the Forestage. Meanwhile. and A UDREY. (CR YST AL and RONNEITE run to the stage L. And in the center of each blood-red bloom is the face of a dead character: MUSHNIK.94 CRYSTAL. CHIFFON runs to the stage R. . stoop and take positions there. Flowers... Four of them. the Screens open to reveal clouds of smoke that swirl around the A UDREY TWO. GIRLs. "WHICH WAS ESSENTIALLY TO ·EATCLEVELAND! (They reach the edge and stop.

toward us .. DEAD AUDREY and DEAD SEYMOUR. vines suddenly come cascading . it would be in the first row. DON'T FEED THE PLANTS .. DEAD AUDREY.. As the DEAD FACES and GIRLS continue to sing. If it went any further. BUT WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOUTHO' THEY'RE SLOPPIN' THE TROUGH FOR YOUPLEASE WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOU. using its Branches like a monstrous botanical crab. The Branches fan out. THEY MAY OFFER YOU FORTUNE AND FAME LOVE AND MONEY AND INSTANT ACCLAIM BUT WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOU. I THEY MAY OFFER YOU LOTS OF CHEAP THRILLS DEAD SEYMOUR. the last word. menacing the audience.. ever seen it. HOLD YOUR HAT AND HANG ONTO YOUR SOUL! SOMETHIN'S COMIN' TO EAT THE WORLD WHOLE! IF WE FIGHT IT. DEAD FACES and GIRLS •. FANCY CONDOS IN BEVERLY HILLS DEAD ORIN.) . And as it does. THE PLANT keeps coming toward us .'showing its teeth'to one side and then to the other. DON'T FEED THE PLANTS! DEAD MUSHNIK.. ) DEAD FACES and GIRLS.LITTLE" SHOP OF HORRORS DEAD FACES • 95 . LOOKOUT! HERE COMES AUDREY TWO! LOOKOUT! HERE I COME FOR YOU! PLANT. DON'T FEED THE PLANTS! . to pull itself along. (Now this massive thing. WE'LL HAVE TOMORROW DEAD FACES and GIRLS. The Pod pans the house.. BUT WHATEVER THEY OFFER YOU. . WE STILL GOT A CHANCE. (THE PLANT stops. snapping at it. THE PLANT opens wider than we have '.this PLANT-starts moving down toward the audience. DON'T FEED THE PLA--A--ANTS! (On.

THE PLANTs <Jaws" come snappingforcefully closed on the last beat oj MUSIC .. And LIGHTS go to-) BLACKOUT THE END .96 LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS down at the audiencefrom the ceiling over their heads. The entire theatre. then-stage and audience-has been taken over by the AUDREY TWO.

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