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They are not wrong. When you hear a tennis player talk about his past victories, excuses for some losses or some behaviour inside a tennis court, they seem to be slightly insane. Tennis players are unique specie, no doubt about it. I do not intend to probe otherwise; I just want to look into this topic. It is funny to observe people who are not “insane” practise this sport. Sooner or later they end up behaving like those tennis players who we call “nuts.” Those who pick up this sport after their 30’s (and there are many), they start to enter some competition and picking up the same patterns of those born tennis players. My point of view is that this sport leads you to surface those traits about yourself that you already have. You can see these “new tennis players” cursing, shouting, throwing the racket, not shaking hands at the end of the match, depressed after a loss, euphoric after a win in a way they do not stop talking about it after the match. There is no difference between a true tennis player and one who just started being one. Tennis brings out what you already have inside. Unlike football that brings out the darker side of people, tennis brings out the best or worst of you. It has nothing to do with the people who play the sport. So then why does almost everybody go through the same patterns and behaviours? Why sooner or later most go through the same emotions, the same processes, the same learning? That is because we are all 97% the same. We all like nice things, and avoid bad things. We like to win, we don’t like to lose. We all want the same things in life. We want peace, prosperity and happiness. We want satisfaction, selfexpression in our work, love in our lives, and health in our bodies. We want to feel realized. We all want the same. What makes us different is how we go through life to obtain those things and what we understand by success, happiness and love. People go in different directions looking for the same things. In life, instead of having an opponent that makes us behave like a mental case, we have relationships. To some extent, we feel that the other person is responsible for our happiness or misery. We lay our own self-identification in the other person. Sometimes in a group of people: our club, neighbourhood, social network, work environment, ethnic group. Even working for an NGO defines who we are. Some people work in an NGO to show other people that they are nice persons, that they like to help and they do it selflessly. Depending
I call ‘tennis player’ that person who has suffered the sport with endless practise sessions, trips, tournaments and sacrifices in his or her social life. That person who has dreamed to become a professional tennis player at one point, score some ATP points, play Davis Cup, has been disciplined and professional in the sport for years regardless of scoring an ATP point or even played the ATP circuit (futures or challengers), has started playing tennis at a young age, and has strung his or her own rackets at one point. For practical reasons, I call in this book social tennis players all those who have started at an older age (usually past 30), have only played at club level and never practised at least 3 hours a day every day for at least 4 years. It is highly unlikely for these players to fully understand the topics I discuss in this book since you can’t learn it from listening to other players and you can’t have a late start. They can have a very good idea what it is like but never from personal experience and that makes the whole difference. By no means I want to discriminate these players. It is simply very difficult to fully understand the dreams of a young tennis player, his frustrations, the cruelty behind the sport due to work and family obligations. For them it will always be a sport, something fun to do. For the true tennis player, it is very real part of life.
If it doesn’t come out on the tennis scene it can be seen through a relationship. There is a difference between understanding the futility of this escape and deciding not to get involved in this kind of relationship. like some drug. this emptiness inside yourself and that any action whatever on the part of the observer to change it only strengthens it – that is understanding. wretchedness. It not only serves to illustrate my point but it also provides a solution to this dilemma. the tournament director came to the court and stated that he wasn’t going to change the referee. but I know there is no future to this relationship. Any kind of relationship serves but the partner. This lack of love is your loneliness. My player asked me if he gave his opponent a warning for racket abuse. asked him to leave the court. He didn’t break and went to the change-over 2-1 up in the score still one break of serve ahead.on the case and the state of consciousness of each person. violence. It is going beyond feeling and thinking. girlfriend relationship is the deepest when it comes to bringing out whatever you have inside. he got broken. it merely strengthens the loneliness. Even calling it loneliness is an action of the observer to get rid of it. you feel without this person you love existed before you fell in love. bleakness. A decision is no good because it strengthens the thing you are deciding against. It is because you have no love inside you that you continually look for love to fill from the outside. it hides the real problem. While coaching a match in New Zealand. depression. conflict. people from the audience ask him this question. I approached the referee at the change-over so that my player didn’t have to get involved with the incident and confirmed that he didn’t give him a warning. Decision is suppression. Whatever we have inside is manifested outside when we play tennis. You escaped from loneliness through a person. Stop it. the temporary covering-up of your emptiness. It is a situation I have experienced several times before and I don’t want to get involved again in all that misery and chaos. and when you see the truth of this you will never again try to fill it with things and people from outside. I told him I thought he didn’t. Such action changes nothing. Escape is very dangerous because. it can be a sacred act of volition and compassionate love but it can also be part of the hidden ego playing a trick on them while developing the worst kind of ego: the spiritual super ego. Your problem is not this relationship but rather it is the problem of your emptiness. After a conference done by Krishnamurti. but complete inaction with regard to this loneliness is change. How can I get myself out of this state?” Krishnamurti: The loneliness. Then my player gets involved and confronted the referee. The referee was patrolling the courts and after hearing the noise of the racket hit the fence walked closer to the court to see what was happening. “I have fallen in love. jealousy or any other conflict at all – drop it instantly. continued to address the referee and the fact that he didn’t give a warning. used this person to cover it up. but to see that there is loneliness. He resumed the match. What you call love is merely stimulation. my player (teammate) was up in the score in the second set with a chance to break twice in the set and go up 3-0 when his opponent made another unforced error and threw the racket from one side of the court to the other. side stepping them. wife. . Whatever is happening inside you – anger. Yet I am desperately unhappy without this person.
social tennis. In tennis it happens very often that players abandon competition and prefer to play a few sets or matches in a relaxed way. Very easily seen in movies and everyday life when a person has what the other needs and a couple is made. you are also a bigot. The incident with the warning and the referee just brought to the surface emotions that were already there: my teammate was tense. When I asked her how she felt she told me: “finally I found somebody who loves me for who I am. The most interesting thing was that even though he didn’t blame the incident for being the reason for losing. Perhaps to a lesser extent but you do have the same aspect in your personality. Let’s think about this for a moment. like relationships. These players. he had lost the first set 6-2 and was playing terribly before the incident. he will remember the incident and not the fact that he didn’t play well that day. You may think.He quickly lost the match. That what we like or dislike about a person is something that we like or dislike about ourselves. not getting what you want and getting what you want.” Clearly she was looking for something. self-love. The process of searching is limited because in the best case scenario we find what we are looking for. it forces you to deal with yourself. In order to improve I had to work on forgiveness. if I like something about somebody it is because I like that quality about myself. with what you already have inside.” But it is not like that. You can’t give what you don’t have. In this example it wasn’t the opponent but an outsider. Hacer Research!!! . Practise specially the one of dislike. unfocused and short-fused that day. acceptance and heaps of love. he couldn’t stop talking about it after the match as if it were something decisive during the match. Two halves to make one whole. That thing about that person that annoys us is nothing but the same thing we hate about ourselves. That is why most religions and gurus say ‘love yourself’. Personally I don’t hate anything or anybody and that shows the improvement I have made about not hating anything about myself. If my opponent cheats a point during my match and my whole being does not know what cheating is. We simply have different degrees of all aspects of a personality. But Brad Gilbert2 states that it is more relaxing and fun to win than to lose. at least often. Somebody to make us happy. If you have a prejudice person. In fact. 2 3 Ex professional tennis player who wrote “Winning Ugly” and coached Andre Agassi. Only those who cheat go berserk when others cheat on them. don’t go crazy if they cheat on them. In his mind. They may not be fools and address the issue but not lose their heads over it. can’t cope with the burden of competition since that. “I don’t care about winning or losing. Anne Marie Scott3 says that people are mirrors of oneself. That is why I dislike it. They state that it is more relaxing to play for fun that to compete.” I heard that saying a long time ago but never quite understood it until now. “on the contrary. Outside the courts. it has nothing to do with me. I hate that attribute because I have nothing to do with it. We do have that same aspect we dislike in ourselves. I have a friend who finally found a boyfriend after many years of not being in a stable relationship. When we look for something is because we are trying to cover up what we are lacking. otherwise we wouldn’t even recognize it. how can I call it cheating? I’d probably think he made a mistake. chances are. For those who don’t cheat. The saying goes: “in life there are 2 problems. That is why we look outside what we don’t have inside. I just play to relax and have fun” some social tennis players say. Just practise this next time you like or dislike something about a person. generally.
To be one in aspiration and . Aurobindo. A highly paid or successful manager does not get paid to do formulas and power point presentations. but it is not enough. He or she gets paid to be able to develop leaders and make his staff work motivated in harmony and peace. to be always and on every occasion happy. outside the court or in our daily life with our parents. to harmonize your thoughts and make them complementary. The Mother is a guru from France who lived in India together with another great sage from India. None are expressing the highest version of themselves. Beyond all that. tolerance. to make your sphere of mental activity identical through a widening and enrichment acquired by both at once – that is good. if we are aware of what is going on. to find in every circumstance tranquillity. We can practice inside the court with a stressful match. developing relationships is the most important activity in life if we know how to deal with them. but it is not enough. Every match is an opportunity to evolve if we know how to take advantage of the situation. None are living their life to the maximum potential. Let me use an extreme example. extremely happy. all relationships where one looks for something are unsatisfactory? In my opinion. Therefore. that is very good. grow up. That is why where there are relationships there is trouble. compassion. A relationship has nothing to do with the other person. It could be lack of patience. One person likes cheating and another who doesn’t want to see. The same way every relationship is an opportunity to evolve. that is absolutely necessary. We expand. but it is not enough. to share your intellectual preoccupations and discoveries. at the summit of the being. one through the other and one of the other – that is good. cause and master of our spiritual development. I am fascinated and inspired with the way she portrayed how a relationship should be. Dealing with opponents who drive us up a wall is dealing with those things we need to work on about ourselves. yes. it is in the consciousness of That that you must unite. the more I love my dog. to be moved in common by the same things. envy. but you already know that it is not enough.When we don’t look and accept what is given. rage. if we understand this truth. the sky is the limit. environment. “To unite your physical lives. your material interests. No problem? Of course there is a problem. that is indispensable. anything. to become partners in order to face together the difficulties and successes.” That is why the best paid managers who are on top are those who can handle people and relationships efficiently. it is That which determines our destinies. hear or feel. partners. children or colleagues. That is why people say: “the more I know people. to have the same aesthetic tastes and enjoyments. That is the origin. To be united in your sensations. in the depths. we evolve. the defeats and victories of life – that is the very foundation of marriage. country. independent of all the circumstances of birth. that is necessary. education. peace and joy in each other – that is good. That couple can complement perfectly. To be one in your deeper feelings. I personally strive to live every love relationship this way. It only has to do with ourselves! Therefore. to be together. in short. No problem. To unite your minds. there is a Supreme Truth of being. to keep a mutual affection and tenderness that never vary in spite of all the blows of life and can withstand every weariness and irritation and disappointment. at the centre. an Eternal Light. it is That which gives a permanent direction to our lives.
to move forward at the same pace on the same spiritual path.” . that is the secret of a lasting union.ascension.
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