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IMC Boston Presents 26 January in Ramgarh

Scene 1
SETTING
Tanga, 2 Chairs, 1 Hunter, 1 Clapper, 1 Camera, Camera Bag, 1 Mike for Barkha

SIGNS
Ramgarh

NARRATOR (Paresh Bhai)


Aaj ki taza khabar. Jani mani journalist, Barkha Dutt, ek sansanikhez controversy key shikanjey mein phas chukee hain. Aayey chalte hein, humare reporter jo is waqt NDTV office ke bahar hain.

ACTION
Play you tube clip.

Iske parinam swarup, Barkha Dutt ko mainstream media se nikal kar dur kahin, ek chote se gaun , Ramgarh, mein Republic Day cover karne ke liye bheja ja raha hai.

NARRATOR

ACTION
Barkha arrives at Ramgarh station with her crew. Play station train sound /music. Camera man struggles with his equipment. They walk out of the station to find Basanti on her Tanga.

Haad kardi Pranoy ney. Ab mujhe!!!, Barkha Dutt ko yehi kaam reh gaya hai. Ramgarh mein Republic Day ko cover karo.

BARKHA DUTT

BASANTI
Ramgarh ka ek dollar. Belapur ke - 2 dollar. Shyamgarh ke 3 dollar. Yoon to humko Bephizool baat karne ki aadat to hai nahi. Lekin itna to puchna padta hai ke jana kahan hai? Bolo kahan jaoogee Maydam?

BASANTI
Ramgarh ka ek dollar. Belapur ke - 2 dollar. Shyamgarh ke 3 dollar. Yoon ki itnaa to puchna padta hai ke jana kahan hai? Bolo kahan jaoogee Maydam?

BARKHA DUTT
Take me to Ramgarh, That handless Thakur ke Haveli. Chal, Tunnu, jaldi kar. Tange mein beth ja. Gadha kaheen ka. Ab issi ke saath kam karne ko reh gaya tha.

ACTION
Barkha and Tunnu board the Tanga. Barkha starts interviewing Basanti.

BARKHA DUTT
Mera naam Barkha Dutt hai.

BASANTI
Yoon to hamme Bephizool baat karne ki aadat to hai nahi. To ab aap ye janna chahogey ki Basanti ka naam kya hai?

BARKHA DUTT
Tumhara naam kya hai Basanti? Main NDTV se aaee hoon. Kya main aap se 26 January ke bare mein kuch sawaal kar sakti hoon? 26 January kaunsa din hai?

BASANTI
26 january kounsa din hai ? Lo kar lobaat , yeh bhee koi punchne waali baat hai. 26 january, 25 january ke bad waala din hai aur 27 january ke pahle waala. Waise to hamme bephizul baat karne kee aadat hai nahin

BASANTI
26 january kounsa din hai ? Lo kar lobaat , yeh bhee koi punchne waali baat hai. 26 january, 25 january ke bad waala din hai aur 27 january ke pahle waala. Anpad hai madam jee par basanti bewkoof nahin haan..

BARKHA DUTT
Republic day ka aapke liye kya maeene hai?

Lo kar lo baat. Public day to roz hi hota hai. Jab din me dubara celebrate karo to Re-public ho jaata hai. Waise to hamme bephizul baat karne kee aadat hai nahi

BASANTI

BASANTI
Yoo ke .. hamme bephizul baat karne kee aadat hai nahi par aap pooch rehe hai to batana to padega na Public day to roz hi hota hai. Jab din me dubara celebrate karo to Re-public ho jaata hai.

Basanti drops Barkha at Thakur's haveli.

ACTION

BASANTI Ye lo ji Maydam. Aaageey Thakur ki Haveli. Nikalo humra ek Dollar.

ACTION
Basanti drops Barkha at Thakur's haveli. Barkha hands Basanti money.

BASANTI Chal Dhanno.

Scene 2
SETTING
Haveli, Hammer, Cleats, Shawl for Thakur

SIGNS
Thakur ki haveli

ACTION
The Mochi is banging nails in Thakurs shoes to prepare for his badla with Gabar.

Arre ye kya ho raha hai?

BARKHA DUTT THAKUR

Joote me kheele thukwa raha hoon. Gabbar se Badla lene ke liye. Gabbbaaaaar mein aa raha hoon.

ACTION Thakur stands up. His shawl falls down and his open nada is exposed.

BARKHA DUTT
Thakur saab, apka nada latak raha hai.

Kaise bandhoon?

THAKUR

BARKHA DUTT
Mr. Thakur, Mera naam Barkha Dutt hai aur main NDTV se aaee hoon. Kya main aap se 26 January ke bare mein kuch sawal kar sakti hoon?

THAKUR
Puchiyee.

BARKHA DUTT
26 January kaunsa din hai?

26 January who din hai jis din Gabar jail tod ke bagha tha. Aur 26 January who din hai jis din Gabar ne meri laga di thi - waat

THAKUR

BARKHA DUTT
Republic day ka aapke liye kya maeene hai ?

THAKUR
Republic day tab hoga jab mein Gabar ko Ramgarh ki public ke samne la kar 26 bar inse(Shoes with Nails) laat.

Lekin bina hathoon ke, aap Gabar ko kaise pakdogey?

BARKHA DUTT THAKUR


Is ke liye to mere do sher - Veeru aur Jai hi kafi hain.

BARKHA DUTT
Hmmmm.yeh Jay aur Veeru koon hain?

(Viru and Jai come on a bike, face audience, stand up and down, then go away)

Scene 3

SETTING SIGNS

Chair, Bottle

ACTION
Veeru is trying to commit suicide (standing on chair). VEERU Kood jaaoonga, phaan jaaonga, mar jaaoonga.. Hat jaaOO...

GAON WALA 1
Are are .. ye kya kar rahe ho?

VEERU
Wohi kar rahaa hun bhaiya jo majanoo ne lailaa ke liye kiyaa tha, raanzaa ne heer ke liye kiya tha romeo ne juliet ke liye kiya tha soosaaEt... SOOSAAET...

Arre bhai, ye soosaat kya hota hai?

GAON WALA 1 GAON WALA 2


angrej log jab marate hai to use soosaat kahate hai.

lekin ye angrej lok marate kyun hai?

GAON WALA 1 GAON WALA 2


woh.. ..pata nahin bhaiya. arre bhaai , baat kyaa hai, tum soosaat kyun karanaa chaahate ho?

VEERU
Gaanw-waalo mai jaa raha hoon, Bhagwaan mai aa raha hoon.

arre , arre ruk jaao, ruk jaao.Jaane se pehle mere kuch sawaloon ka jawaab de do

BARKHA DUTT VEERU


ruk jaaoo? tum jor dete ho to .. thodi der ruk jaata hoon.

BARKHA DUTT
Kya main aap se 26 January ke bare mein kuch sawal kar sakti hoon? 26 January kaunsa din hai?

VEERU
Mere liye 26 January tab hoga jab meri basanti se shaadi hogi

BARKHA DUTT

Republic day key kya maeene hai ?

VEERU
Yeh mat puchho, tumhaare aasoo nikal aayenge. Ye badi dukh bhari kahani hai. Is storee me emotion hai, drrraamaa hai trrragedy hai. Yeh Basanti hai naa is se mera lagan honewaalaa tha Barkha. Lekin iski buddhi mausi ne bich me bhaanji maar di. Arre Jay - Budhee se kuch setting to kar

JAY
Saala, nautanki. Ja raha hoon.

Scene 4
Setting
Cup & Saucer, toothpick, hand fan for Mausi

Signs ACTION
Jay is coolly sipping chai with noise. Jay is convincing Mausi to get Veeru married to Basanti.

MAUSI Arre beta, bas itna samaz lo ke ghar me jawaan beti seene par pathhar ke sil ki tarah hoti hai. Bura nahi maananaa , itanaa to poochhanaa hi padataa hai ke ladke kaa khaandaan kyaa hai uske lachhchhan kaise hai, kamaataa kitnaa hai? JAY (In Vijay Deenanaths Voice from Agneepath) HaainLadka Sunny aur Bobby ka bapu hai aur Punjab ka Puttar. Acting bhee bahut achee karta hai , Abhishek se bhee achee....Dekho yeh kya likh Diya hai Gabbar ne mere haath par Jay shows his arm where its written Abhishek ko acting nahi aatee MAUSI Yeh to Saach kaha beta tumnee, Abhishek se to acting achee hee karta hoga, isme koi shaq nahi hai. Lekin itna to poochna hee padta hai kee ladka kamata kitna hai JAY Aajkal ladke ne phir se kaam karna surooo kar diya hai...beech mein kuch faltu picturein kareen thee jaise Jala kar Rakh kar Doonga Isko mar

doonga...usko mardoonga ...saree kee saree flop thee MAUSI Kya Flop cineeeema bhee karta hai JAY haan mausi ab ye kambakht acting cheej hi aisi hai ab mai kyaa kahoon ? Kabhiee movie flop bhee ho jaatee hai MAUSI heynnnn. to kya faltoooo actor hai kya JAY chhi chhi chhi chhi mausi, woh aur faltoo actor na na. woh to bahot hi achchha aur nek actor hai.Lekin mausi, ek baar sunny aur bobby frame mein aa jayein , to fiilam flop ho hee jaati hai....isnme us veeru ka kya dosh. MAUSI Thik kahate ho beta. Flop actor woh, Uske bete flop , uski movies flop , aur uska koi dosh nahi. Arre beta, mujh budhiyaa ko samaza rahe ho. ye flop acting kee aadat kisi ki chhooti hai aaj tak. JAY Tow kya me agle chabees january ka muharat nikal loo. Sun hai desh ke liye bada hi shubd din hai. MAUSI (Agitated) Chabees January ka mahurat? . bhale saari jindagi ladaki kuwaari baithi rahe. lekin mai aise aadami se Basanti ko nahi byaahanewaali.

BARKHA DUTT Suniye, maine suna hai aap Viru ke khas dost ho. Kya main aap se 26 January ke bare mein kuch sawal kar sakti hoon? JAY Arre, maydam, yahan bahut serious baat ho rahi hai. Jao, jao, is kaam ke liye

kisi Surma Wurma ko pakdo. ACTION


Barkha finds Jay and Mausi and starts interviewing them.

BARKHA DUTT
Kya main aap se 26 January ke bare mein kuch sawal kar sakti hoon?

JAY
Arre, maydam, yahan bahut serious baat ho rahi hai. Jao, jao, is kaam ke liye kisi Surma Wurma ko pakdo.

Scene 5
SETTING
Kurta pajama & jacket Topi Soft toy for bird Lakdi Beige pants with beige blazer and hats

SIGNS ACTION
Barkha finds Surma Bhopali.

BARKHA DUTT
Mera naam Barkha Dutt hai aur main NDTV se aaee hoon. Kya main aap se 26 January ke bare mein kuch sawal kar sakti hoon? 26 January kaunsa din hai?

SURMA BHOPALI
Jab maine Veeru aur Jai ko Pakadwaya tha, wo 26 January ka din tha miya.

BARKHA DUTT
Acchha bataiyye Republic day aapke liye kya mayne rakhta hai? Jab Angrez Ramgarh aaye they, to maine apni steeck nikali aur diya satta sat satta sat. Bahut Maara Bahut Maara . Angrez to aise bhaage , aise bhaage. Arre, Tab hua tha public day.

SURMA BHOPALI

ACTION
Jailer enters with her police force. Hum Angrezon ke zamaane ke jailer hainhaan haan!!!

JAILER

SURMA BHOPALI
Jao bhai jao , aur koi kaam hai ke nahi? Din bhar 26 jhooth bulwa rahi ho humse!

ACTION
Barkha and Surma leave hurriedly.

JAILER
Humare yahan rahte hua koi parinda bhi Par nahi mar sakta. Bird toy is thrown at Jailors face.

ACTION

JAILER
Veeru aur Jay to kya cheez hain , Dekhiye main kaise Gabbar ko bhee apnee Boston Police force ke saath pakdoonga. Aadhe idhar aao, aadhe udhar jao, baaki mere saath aao. ACTION Jailer Exits

Scene 6
Setting
Walking Stick, Dark Glasses, Topi, Tasbee, Beard, Black & White Scarf ACTION Imam Sahab enters.

IMAAM SAHAB
Itna sannata kyoon hai bhai? ACTION Barkha is walking away hurriedly and bumps into Imam Sahab.

Arre bhai kaun hai.lagi to nahi

IMAAM SAHAB

BARKHA DUTT
I am fine, dont worry. Mera naam Barkha dutt hai aur main NDtV se aayi hoon. Aap se kuchh sawaal poonch sakti hoon? IMAAM SAHAB Ab Ramgarh mein bhee TV waale aane lage. Poocho beti

BARKA DUTT
26 January kaunsa din hai?

26 January ko Gabbar ke logon ne mere bte ko shaheed kar diya tha. Lekin agar mere 26 bete bhee hote to mein unko desh ke liye kurbaan kar deta. Aaj Mazhab ke naam par Desh mein dange phasaad karvaye jaate hai. Lanat hai aise logon par.

IMAAM SAHAB

SCENE 7
Gabbar is talking to his men

ACTION

GABBAR
Hmmmm.... Kitane aadmi the? KALIYA Sardar.. Ek Aurat thi Barkha. Kaha, Chalo futo, Time nahi hai. Ramgarh lootne baad me aana, ab me republic day cover kar rahi hoon.

GABBAR
Hmmm.. Ek Aurat ? .... Bacon KE BACHCHO.. Woh ek thi aur tum teen .. phir bhi waapas aagayeye . khaali haath.. kya samaz kar

aaye the?.. Sardar bahot khus hoga, Sabasi dega kyoon? DHITKKAR HAI ...

GABBAR
Gabbar ka darr is liye hai ke yaha se pachas pachas kos door gaanw me, jab maa
roti hai, to Baccha kahta hai soja maan warna Gabbar Singh aa jayega Aur yeh teen bacon ke bacche, gabbar ka naam poora mitti mein milaye diya. Iski sajaa milegi.. baraabar milegi

KAALIYA Boss looks really upset Samba, whats going on? ACTION Samba shrugs.

GABBAR
Aur yeh Nayi ladki kaun aayi hai Ramgarh mein? Barkha. Suna hai bahut interview binterview liye ja rahi hai. Hum ko pura diya. Gabbar ki ab Ramgarh koi izzat hi nahi. Hh, haa haa, aha haa.. , hh.. hh.., Gabbar ko poor ignore kar diya. Kaali & Sambha start laughing reluctantly Chup ! Javo pakkad ke lavo use !

ACTION
Dakus go and get Barha on stage

Arre o Sambha, zara bat Barkha ko , kitna enaam rakhe hai sarkaar ham par ?

GABBAR SAMBHA
Poore $5.99 Sarkaar. Recession aate hi eenam kut ho gaya

BARKHA DUTT
Kya main aap se 26 January ke bare mein kuch sawal kar sakti hoon? 26 January kaunsa din hai?

GABBAR

Suna, ye hamse jaanna chati hai 26 january kya hai. India got its constitution on 26th January, 1950 and became a republic. The constituent Assembly was led by Dr Ambedkar.

BARKHA DUTT
Mr. Gabbar, I must say you are pretty knowledgeable about Republic day and your English is pretty good too.

GABBAR
Kyon kee kanoon todne ke liye kanoon jaanna bahut zaroori hai. lekin ramgarh me sirf Gabbar ka kanoon chalta hai. You see, Barkha, before this entire daku business

BARKHA DUTT
Interesting!

GABBAR
I was an investment banker at Lehman Brothers. I got my MBA from Harvard Business School and when the economy tanked, I was laid off. But you see, this Startup Daku business is taking off pretty well. You can look me up on linkedin. And see my website as well on http://www. CoolDaku.com

SCENE 8
Extra characters enter the stage and ask Barkha to interview them.

ACTION

Shah Rukh Khan (Showeb)


B B B B B B Barkha, My name is Khan. M M M Mera Interview lo na.

Arre o Barkha ..Hamara bhi interview lele re

RAJESH KHANNA (Aslam) Dev Anand (Amit)


Mera naam Raju Guide haiaur Johny bhi hai

Khamosh!!! Interview sirf humara hoga

SHATRUGHAN ( Paresh) RAJESH KHANNA (Aslam)


Babu Mushay. Zindagi Ek Interview hai.

Main Boston se naya star AK Azaan Khan hoon. Mera interview lo na.

AK Azaan Khan (Azaan)

Bharat ki jai hon. Kripya Bharat Kumar ka interview lijeye

Manoj (Aslam) BARKHA DUTT

Bas Karo (covering her ears with her hands).

ACTION
Barkha gets call from Pranoy. Play phone sound tring tring ..

PRANOY ROY
Hello, Barkha. Can you hear me?

BARKHA DUTT
Hello.

Hello, Barkha. Can you hear me now? Do you have AT&T by any chance

PRANOY ROY

BARKHA DUTT
Oh Hi, Pranoy. Why dont you switch to Verizon , they also have iphone now

PRANOY ROY
Look, are you done in (where did I send you?)

BARKHA DUTT
Yes, Pranoy, I am wrapping up here.

PRANOY ROY
Good, good, I have your next assignment. You need to go to Peepli and interview Natha. He has become a national sensation.

Nahiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.

BARKHA DUTT

THANK YOU! THE END

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