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THE NATURAL WAY TO MEET HER
GIRLS CHASE BOOKS
Copyright © 2011 by Chase Amante. All rights reserved. Except as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976, no part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior written permission of the publisher. Girls Chase Books www.girlschase.com The Girls Chase name and logo are trademarks of Girls Chase, Inc. The publisher is not responsible for websites (or their content) that are not owned by the publisher.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
....................................................................1 .................................... INTRODUCTION ....................................................................1 UNNATURAL...................... ......................3 WHY OPENING CAN FEEL UNNATURAL ......................3 MYTHS AND SAYINGS ...............................................5 SUICIDAL OPENERS ...................................................8 CHASING ...............................................................10 THE ENTERTAINER...................................................11 OPENING........................... MISTAKES MEN MAKE IN OPENING........................... 13 TALKING TOO FAST.................................................13 COMING IN TOO HARD...........................................15 PROJECTING EXPECTATIONS .....................................18 WAITING FOR HER RESPONSE ...................................23 RUSHING THROUGH THE OPENER .............................27 TAKEAWAYS...........................................................29 OPENING.................................................................. ................................................................ SLOW OPENING .................................................................. 31 WHY IT WORKS .....................................................34 WHEN TO USE IT ....................................................37 THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND .......................................38 CONCLUSION ................................................................ ...................................... CONCLUSION ...................................................................... 42
now you’ve set an expectation that the rest of your interaction is going to be completely amazing as well – and even the most talented men in the world are rarely going to have interactions that are completely amazing. Sometimes you’re able to surprise her and yourself and pull off an opener that lives up her expectations and your expectations. With many traditional openers. to be more specific. We’ll take a look at why that is in this book. and anything short of that is going to be anti climactic and a big let down. and it feels like this big presentation. a man also runs the risk of starting off on the wrong foot – the “entertainer” foot. as though this huge burden and a great deal of pressure has been placed upon you: she expects something incredible out of you.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE INTRODUCTION Ever notice how contrived it can sometimes feel when you first go up to meet a new woman? You walk up to her. We’ll also take a look at some of the common mistakes men make while opening – speaking too 1 . and you expect something incredible out of yourself. and why that’s best avoided. but even if you do that.
SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE fast. you’ll find opening goes a lot more smoothly – and a lot more naturally. waiting for responses. stringing everything so tightly together in their openers that a woman doesn’t have the chance to respond or involve herself in the conversation. coming in too hard. or. Finally. and take a look at Slow Opening – a natural way of opening that communicates all the right things and engages a girl on a normal. 2 . projecting “expectations”. conversational level rather than on the “I’m here to impress you” level that most men come in on. conversely. Once you’re using the techniques covered in this book consistently and reliably. we’ll put all the pieces together.
slowly but noticeably. you think.” he says. And you notice one of the sales people meander. A man spies a woman. they just ignore it. But suddenly. sure enough. and instantly feel eyes on you. then he moves in for the kill. 3 . that's his intuition kicking in to tell him he isn’t being subtle. maybe… or maybe you just want to look around. asks you if you need anything or if there’s anything he can help you with today. “Okay. “Let me know if you need any help. over in your direction. You want to buy something. the woman notices this – it isn’t subtle.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE WHY OPENING CAN FEEL UNNATURAL You walk into an electronics store. he targets her and locks on. there’s this unspoken pressure on you. “Great.” When many men open women. and I have to let him know I’m just looking.” you think.” He walks up to you and. and sure enough you reply that you’re just looking. this is how it goes. Just like the customer in the electronics store. Intuition though – most folks have this. “now I’m going to have him come over and bother me. If a guy feels even a slight feeling that he's putting himself out there too much.
In scenario one. confident guy ends up next to a woman. and he’s got himself into a bit of a hole to climb out of. and women assess men’s value as relative to the results they get compared to the effort they 4 .SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE But is subtle even something we want? What’s the advantage of being subtle? Imagine two scenarios. Scenario one works okay if the man is incredibly confident. In fact. In scenario two. He looks a little foolish. and casually engages her. or the woman isn’t receptive though. Scenario two works okay in much broader conditions. and begins talking to her. and the woman is receptive. If he isn’t incredibly confident. knows exactly what he’s going to say. a cool. it works. knows exactly what he’s going to say. it works a bit better than if he walked across the room. he doesn’t know exactly what he’s going to say. because it feels more natural and more effortless – he put in less effort to meet her. and if the woman is receptive. a cool. If a man is incredibly confident. heading more or less directly for a woman. confident guy walks across a room. he’s just walked across a room and had things not go very well.
he can get less impressive results and still stay afloat than the more obvious man who put in more effort. but it stands out in importance even more in the most critical. or the woman isn’t entirely receptive. The Law of Least Effort is important everywhere. Myths and Sayings 5 . extreme situations in a seduction – one of which happens to be opening. Because he was more effortless. women give him more leeway. Lesser men work harder and get less for their efforts). Because he’s put in less effort. scenario two works okay much of the time as well even if a man isn’t incredibly confident. But in addition. returning to it throughout our discussion of opening here. This concept of putting in less effort and receiving more results as being a key factor in a man’s attractiveness and social power is something I call the Law of Least Effort and we’re going to keep Effort. doesn’t know exactly what he’s going to say.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE put in to get those results (more results with less effort equates to the greatest level of attractive qualities in a man.
body language. quite significantly. so long as it gets her talking to you. “It’s not what you say but how you say it. voice tone.” is one more. There is some truth to all of these. I’ve had interactions that started off with really very bland.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE I’ve heard a lot of different opinions about that moment when a man first meets a girl. so it’s not just 6 . Though it is true that more important than the actual words are the general thrust of the opener and the meaning that a girl takes away from it – so in that sense. and the rest – and those things contribute to that initial impression as well. This same explanation holds true for “It’s not what you say but how you say it.” And you can certainly recover from a weak or neutral first impression. but also some fallacy. But there is also the matter of fundamentals – those nonverbal cues like eye contact.” is one. “It’s essential to make a strong first impression. It very much does matter what you say when you start off an interaction – it sets the tone for the rest of the time you spend with a woman. what you say word wise is far less important than the message those words convey. and ended with me taking the girl to bed. “It doesn’t matter what you say.” is another. boring openers.
We won’t talk about them. “You need a great opening line. You can use bland or even cheesy opening lines but if you have incredibly tight fundamentals you will still do fine. Regardless though. and it provides reinforcement down the road – women don’t often consider the middle of an interaction when they think back on it later. while not absolutely essential. and you end strong. will make the rest of the interaction easier. but you’ll know them when you hear them – pieces of advice that are thrown about like common 7 . those are the things a girl you've met will remember most about you after your time with her has ended. much of the time.” or. “Women won’t talk to men who do XYZ thing or say ABC to them”). So if you start strong. Any of the myths from mainstream sources or people who don’t know what they’re talking about.g. making a strong first impression.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE the words establishing it. and that strong beginning and strong ending will make her more likely to want to talk to you or see you again in the future. of course. but typically rather the beginning and the end. and even a bit more likely to accompany you to another venue or to your home while she's still with you. you can probably toss without much consideration (e..
SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE knowledge without any attempt made to back them up with solid evidence. and stay away from advice bandied about by those who haven't actually tested out that advice themselves to any real extent. We only want to use things that have been tested and found effective. but most men have no idea how to do them right. these openers demand outstanding fundamentals and a man who’s exuding 8 . mind you. or just have no idea what else to say. these can be used if they’re done right. For these to work. They include things like: • • • • • Telling a girl she’s so beautiful Using a clichéd pick up line Asking a girl her name Introducing himself right off the bat Using a boring question as an opener Now.” These are opening lines that guys use because they either really think they work. or counterpoints. Suicidal Openers Some men use something I refer to sometimes “suicidal openers. rationale.
and if a girl is half decent looking she’s heard each of them a million times and is conditioned to automatically shut down any man using them on her (just as you may be conditioned to turn down those people who stand on the street corner trying to hand you flyers. avoid suicidal openers. If you’re reading this and you have those things handled already. They work under pretty much no other circumstances. or the homeless people who walk up to you shaking the coins in their cups.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE sexuality. under the assumption that most people reading this book have yet to master their fundamentals and are still working on exuding the proper amount of steamy sexuality. every boring guy in the bar or the bookstore uses them. you don't even think to consider them. They’re lame. For the rest of the cats. We’re going to look at doing some things a little bit simpler here. and perhaps skip down to where we talk about slow opening in and of itself. You might be the best man a girl'd ever end up having in her entire life. you can maybe skim over the parts of the book that relate to understanding the mistakes guys make. you just respond automatically). but if you use a suicidal opener and your 9 .
And even more. A man with beautiful women in his life who is living a life he’s 10 . He doesn’t know if she’s smart or dumb. affectionate or cold.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE fundamentals aren’t telling her to stop and give you a minute to win her over. she’s going to be dismissive and shut you down. he communicates that he has no better options in his life. she hasn’t made any effort to provide value to his life. he doesn’t know anything about her. vivacious or laconic. open minded or closed. fun or boring. Chasing The reason suicidal openers feel so crappy to women (and to most men with any sense of social intuition… just because a man’s saying something doesn’t mean he doesn’t realize it’s probably not the best thing he could say) is that they are used in a very clear context of a man pursuing a woman. artistic or uncreative. If a man chases from the outset. educated or a high school drop out. But what has she done to win his pursuit? If he’s chasing in the opener. insightful or dull. adventuresome or conservative.
A man who comes in very high energy. telling jokes. telling stories. there must be something missing that she’s trying to compensate for. The Entertainer There is another dread thing that many men do in opening that make their openers feel unnatural: being the entertainer. A lot of men seem to think that entertaining women is the key to those women's hearts. you feel like.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE happy with does not chase. He does not go much out of his way to pursue women he doesn’t even know. He won’t waste the time or effort. But let me ask you this: if a girl came up to you and immediately began telling you jokes and sharing wild stories with you and telling you all about how flashy her life and experiences were. and trying his hardest to be interesting is a man who is seeking to entertain. would you fall for her? Or would you be more… reserved? Might you wonder why it is she felt she had to tell you all these things? Even a pretty girl loses a lot of perceived value if she starts entertaining like this – if she has to do this to get your attention. 11 .
Longer answer: women view a man trying to entertain them as a man who’s trying too hard to hold their interest and impress them. 12 . In other words.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE If we can say men feel this way about women who entertain. and they don’t. he’s a man putting in more effort than he should be to get the same result – and because of that. why would women feel any different about men who entertain? Short answer: they wouldn’t. he’s not nearly as attractive as a man who puts in less.
and how quickly you're speaking is one of them.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE MISTAKES MEN MAKE IN OPENING We could almost call this section “fundamentals of opening” – these are the things beyond words that have great impact on a man’s success meeting new women. opening goes much more smoothly. When he eliminates these mistakes and begins doing things technically correct. right? They all talk in 13 . Think about it like this: imagine the most powerful. she does a lot of hard assessing really fast in the couple of seconds it takes you to open. and it’s bad in general. In fact. There are a bunch of things she’s looking at. they rush through talking in general. How many of them talk fast? None of them. and that’s bad. but it’s particularly harmful in opening. The opener is a woman’s first moment of interacting with you. Talking Too Fast Lots of less experienced guys rush through their openers. and his consistency in getting strong receptions from women off the opener goes up. sexy men you can think of. masculine.
A man who speaks slowly. and • That he isn’t overly concerned about the social repercussions to himself even if someone does. communicates two things: • That he isn’t afraid of anyone cutting him off. It’s not fair – I’ve known some very cool guys with very interesting things to say who spoke very quickly. People size other people up very quickly based on their speed of speech. unrushed manner. you really ought to pace yourself when speaking – don’t talk too fast. he can take his time to get there. 14 .SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE a slow. A man who speaks too quickly communicates that he’s trying to spit everything out and make his point fast. on the other hand. And if you want women to be more receptive to you off the opener. A powerful man does not need to spit everything out to defend his position in a conversation. You’ll notice that strong. and speaking slowly is one of them. But it’s the way things are. because he’s afraid someone will cut him off. powerful men in general do a lot of things that communicate their defenses are down.
and which ones are the charlatans. but the women he’s meeting are going to tend to think he’s being oafish and annoying. Tryhard. Loudness is good. Needless to say. The reason why is it’s one of the things they screen for: they want to know which men are genuine. A guy who comes barreling in and talking very loudly and acting very cocky with women might think he’s coming across strong and dominant.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE Coming in Too Hard Not every guy does this. anytime you’re dealing with people. no one likes feeling like they’re being pushed or pressured or forced into a conversation. if you will. Women can tell when a man is trying. you 15 . and women are no exception – and it’s hands down an attraction killer. and confidence is always attractive. coming in too hard – or opening a woman like you’re trying to barrel your way into conversation with her. to an extent. but these guys take it too far and it seems rather… artificial. That is. but enough of them do that it’s a problem you’ll see fairly often. It’s an essential thing to screen for.
Or they might loudly and facetiously tell her she needs to calm down. if she’s standing there by herself. busting on this girl. more often if a woman’s by herself it’s because she’s more in the mood for relaxing and potentially meeting a cool. thinking deep thoughts and waiting for her friends to return from the dance floor. “Wow. it’s reasonable for a man to assume she’s open to meeting someone new (while occasionally women are by themselves because they’re in sour moods and don’t want to talk to anyone.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE want to know what you’re getting. She’s a prime target for men out meeting women. So. I’ll give you an example. Say a woman is leaning up against a bar. she’s going to be blocked from feeling much attraction for him. to a woman who’s relaxing and low energy and specifically avoiding the wildness of her girlfriends. did you see that fight?” they might ask. trying to be witty. attractive guy than she is for partying and dancing and gossiping with the girlfriends). And if a girl can tell that she’s being spoken to by a man who is putting on his best front to try and get together with her. Needless to say. Lots of guys will come in very hard. trying to be creative and funny and interesting. 16 .
Eventually I realized the solution was simply being chill and seductive from the outset – it removes the problem of having to tone things down. jumping. oh.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE a guy coming in hard and high energy and wild is going to be exactly what she doesn’t want. But it gives a false confidence. I was trying to figure out the magic solution to transition from the high energy opening I was doing into the seductive energy needed later to move the interaction forward. I come in chill and low energy. no more girls bouncing up and down. and being high energy and wild and crazy and coming in hard gets reactions. For a long time. 17 . frantic bantering – they don’t do that with me anymore. you base your learning on what gets reactions. instead. These days. a few years to really learn this lesson myself. But what they do do. and women’s reactions to me are similarly subdued. is they accompany me home a lot more often and a lot more easily. It took me. No more wild crazy receptions like I used to get. When you first start out and you’re new to going out and meeting lots of girls. So it often seems to be working. laughing.
That said. and his arms are crossed and he seems 18 . absolutely. I’ll illustrate an example for you to make it clear: You’re at a used car lot. positively keep an eye on as you progress – and when you catch yourself losing women because you’re coming in too hard and too wild. and a man who’s obviously new at his job and inexperienced walks up to you and asks you if he can give you a hand. take that as a sign it’s time to start toning things down and going sexy from the beginning. Once you get that running. this is something you should definitely. his full body pointed at you. There’s a bit of a learning curve that goes hand in hand with your progress in other aspects of personal development. you’ll have your opening in top shape. You notice he’s standing rather far away from you. Projecting Expectations Projecting expectations is an area of opening that most men aren’t aware of.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE This is a bit harder to do when your fundamentals aren’t as tight just yet. but that kills a lot of beginners. Before explaining what I mean by this.
another man walks up. the city. His head is toward you though. clearly more experienced a salesman. and looking nervous. while you look at another car. Seeing him looking like that makes you feel uncomfortable. But by staying far away. Ten minutes later. He leans up against the car next to you and gets comfortably close to you. and he smiles warmly and makes some idle chit chat about the car. You instantly feel more at ease. the weather. and ask him if you can take the car for a test drive. the playoffs. being visibly uncomfortable. There’s a little bit of coming on too strong in the inexperienced guy example there – he gives most of his body to the customer. making the customer feel uncomfortable that he’s coming on too strong.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE visibly uncomfortable and maybe a bit nervous. He tells you to wait there a moment and he’ll go get the keys. he makes you feel very uncomfortable being in his presence. 19 . but his body is turned away from you. and you automatically want to tell him you’re just looking so he’ll leave you alone.
The experienced guy. like the self fulfilling prophecy it is.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE Contrast that with the experienced guy. He seems calm and self composed. huh? How you project expecting an interaction to go influences how it actually goes. As a result. projected both a cool confidence that of course you’d be relaxed with him and talk to him. He gets close. Funny. What’s the big difference between those two guys? The inexperienced guy was projecting an expectation of you not wanting to work with him – and. and nonchalant. He’s comfortable. and also a lack of neediness or expectancy or any kind of reliance on your actions. in your space even. It’s this communicating via body language and other nonverbal signals of how you expect an interaction to go that is a big factor in determining how it actually goes. but his body is turned away so it doesn’t feel like he’s coming in too hard. you feel more comfortable letting your guard down around him. This is what we’re talking about when we discuss projecting expectations. natural. you’re far more open to working with him. on the other hand. that made you not want to work with him. 20 .
suave. but I’ll give you the most important. These include folding the arms over the chest to protect the upper abdomen. • Staying far away. romantic man she’s just met keeping a big gap of space between the two of them while he talks to her? Feels awful uncomfortable. Can you imagine a sexy. You can add arm crossing back into your body language later 21 . Be aware of these behaviors and scratch them out. • Protecting yourself. Being the outsider is never what you want to be. and crossing legs closely together while seated to protect the genitals.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE There are a number of things to watch for here. Neither does her family. doesn’t it? If you catch yourself doing this. And certainly her past lovers and boyfriends didn’t. A woman's friends don’t stand far away from her when they talk to her. force yourself to start closing these gaps. These are the things to watch for and correct if you notice yourself doing them wrong. Humans have some instinctual body language that they use to protect themselves when they’re feeling fearful or apprehensive at all.
and choose a smaller smile or no smile at all when you don’t feel like grinning ear to ear. Clean this stuff up if you’re doing it. do anything to stop smiling. it can be a small. • Grimacing.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE on for a handful of strategic purposes that it can be useful in. rub your hand over the corner of your mouth. This was a thorn in my side for such a long time. but you’re really not feeling like smiling at all. but it doesn’t have to be a big grin. Usually you want to smile when you first meet a girl. seductive smile you flash her way instead. but if you’re like the majority of people. and you’ll greatly reduce any negative expectation projection you have going on right now. crossing your arms and not even being aware of it any time you feel a little uncomfortable. And if you start 22 . I strongly advise you nix this behavior entirely so you stop signaling discomfort when you aren’t aware of it. A grimace is that awful fake smile you make when you’re trying to force yourself to smile. Save the big fake grimaces for silly photographs. Solution? Purse your lips.
” she says. What happened? Waiting for women’s responses is not something you want to be doing early on in an interaction all that much. There are two reasons a man might wait for a woman’s reply: 23 .SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE projecting at least neutral – then. positive – expectations. I’m Tim. “Nice to meet you too. he waits. as you improve. finally. And waits. Waiting for Her Response “It’d be a crime if I didn’t come say hello to you when I noticed how ravishing you look.” a man says to a woman he’s just met. And says nothing. Then. He is waiting for her response. “Well… goodbye!” Then she rushes off. at least not until you’re seasoned enough to be able to tell when waiting will work to your advantage and when you ought to keep moving instead. women will start receiving you more warmly and more openly.
in reason two. tentative. he’s uncertain and a bit tentative. so wants to gauge her reaction to find out before proceeding Neither of them. needless to say. communicates anything all that great about the guy. and wants to base his next conversation on her reaction. In reason one.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE • He’s not sure what to say next. What are the reasons a woman might not reply to a man right away? • • • • She was off in her own world and is a little surprised to suddenly be in a conversation She’s not sure how to respond to what this new man’s just said She didn’t fully understand what he said She hasn’t made up her mind how she wants to react to him yet 24 . Let’s look at the other side of the coin. or • He’s not sure if she likes him or not. he’s uncertain. and unconfident.
25 . so again she may rather just leave. Why is he standing there waiting to be judged. If a girl's surprised or not sure how to respond to a man's opener. it’s often easier for her just to end the conversation and leave. he doesn’t look terribly good in the process. He waits a split second. if he stands there waiting while she does so. it might feel too awkward to tell him that.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE Which of those do you think the man will benefit from this girl having a little extra time to decide? Which do you think him standing there waiting for her to come to a decision on proceeding will be a good thing for him? That's right – none of them. I’m Tim. but no response. unless he isn’t confident she’ll judge him a desirable man? Now consider the following scenario: “It’d be a crime if I didn’t come say hello to you when I noticed how ravishing you look.” a man says to a woman he’s just met. “What brings you to the market this fine day?” he asks. If she didn’t understand. Or if she hasn’t made up her mind how to react.
” says Tim. or if they get along very well he’ll ask her to join him for a coffee or some food. then noticed that she seemed a bit quiet and may have been overwhelmed by his opener for one reason or another. she had the opportunity. he toned things down and asked her a basic situational question. she probably needed more help feeling 26 . Then. How’s your shopping going so far – any big purchases?” He’s gone in. so that if she’d been excited and wanted to say something right away. making the judgment call that if she didn’t have something to jump in with right away.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE She smiles softly. He didn’t wait for her response here. He’ll make a little chit chat with her for a few minutes. he gave her a split second to reply. made his strong opening statement. “I just wanted to get out of the house and do some shopping.” she replies. “I know the feeling. So. then perhaps ask her to accompany him to a shop somewhere to look at something. “Great. he moved onto the next part of the conversation.
now there’s a girl I have to meet.’ You have this really cool way about you. ‘Wow. Rushing Through the Opener Sometimes a man would rather burn through his opener and get it over with and get onto the conversation. “I saw you here and I said to myself.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE comfortable in the conversation.” First. She picks up on the man’s rush to get 27 . rushing haphazardly through any stage of your interactions does some things that hurt you. rushing through an opener can create anxiety for a woman. But just because it’s nerve wracking is no reason to rush through it – while you always want to be moving fast. I’ve been cooped up in the office all week. that initial opening can be one of the most nerve wracking aspects of meeting women. so he continued things on to help her reach that place of comfort and ease. Understandable. I’m Bill. What’s your agenda tonight? Out drinking or partying or just chilling with the girls? I figured I’d come out and get some fresh air.
when a man throws this much at a woman in quick succession. that tells her it happens to him fairly often – which also tells her there must be a good reason other women cut him off and excuse themselves. 28 . And so. anyway. it’s almost as though she’s watching the guy on TV and he’s just going on and on without room for feedback. it tends to come off a little strange and confusing – “Why’s he talking like that?” a woman might think to herself.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE through it and starts feeling jittery herself. Second. Finally. or contribute at all. and becomes far more likely to excuse herself and leave – as soon as he gives her the chance to. even if she doesn’t excuse herself immediately. it makes her feel like he’s afraid she’ll cut him off and excuse herself if he gives her the chance to. she picks up on his desire to rush through the opener. She hasn’t had a chance to participate in the conversation. a woman’s going to be left feeling unconnected from the outset if a man burns through his opener this aggressively. have her voice heard. And if a woman feels like a man might fear that. without letting her get a word in edgewise. Third. and perhaps most important.
but Not moving so quickly that a woman can’t get a word in edgewise 29 . For a man trying to meet women. They are: • • • • • Talking too fast Coming in too hard Projecting expectations Waiting for her response Rushing through the opener You'll most want to target getting these down: • • • • • Talking at a metered pace Coming in smoothly Avoiding the projection of expectations Keeping conversation flowing without necessarily waiting for a response.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE TV isn’t something we use for choosing mates. “TV” is the last thing he ought to be. Takeaways Those are the primary mistakes men make when opening. We use it for entertainment. or we change the channel. though.
SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE Get these handled and you’re on your way to a very successful opening. But there’s one more thing you can learn that will take your opening to the next level. and that's what the next chapter is all about. 30 .
given time to turn it over in her mind at least briefly. this time fully engaging. break conversation and let eye contact drift away reopen four to six seconds later. then encountered it again later. natural. so does opening slowly make a woman more open to a man’s approach. namely. Slow opening is a very specific. It’s simple. very natural way of opening women you can start putting to use right away. the chapter this book was named for. that a woman is more comfortable with something once she’s encountered it. and it works off one of the same basic principles as chase framing. she becomes more open to it. It goes quite basically like this: Brief situational or low intensity genuine interest interest opener opener pause.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE SLOW OPENING Here it is. 31 . and very effective. and it’s quite good when implemented correctly. Just like when the idea of intimacy with a man is seeded to her gradually and with subtlety. This is something I have worked on for a few years.
SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE So. hopefully. look away. then let the conversation die. Which one feels more smooth. Woman: Haha. this is fun. normal. What are you buying? Imagine for a moment that that conversation could begin two ways: one with the pause. and natural? The one where the man blazes right in without pausing feels very practiced and as if he’s starting in on the woman. The one with the pause seems as if he was just making a natural remark. Oh. really. Lots of cake and ice cream. three steps. Yeah. waiting in this long line. I don’t know if it’ll be that kind of party. 32 . and one without. Booze too. Stay quiet for a moment. Here’s an example of how this looks in an actual interaction: Man: Woman: Man: Man: Woman: Man: Well. [pause] What’ve you go there? Just a few things for a friend having a birthday. this time beginning the conversation in earnest. You make a brief statement engaging a woman. then reengage. I love birthdays.
and an absolutely killer body. This is your town? Girl: I’m from another city. Here’s another example. and I was the first foreigner she’d ever dated. good career as an architect.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE then realized that. and she helped me to learn a little of the local language. [pause. Me: So I’m guessing you must be from around here. who went on to become my girlfriend. I might actually like to get to know this girl. She was a great girlfriend. and began speaking with her again. Me: Leaving so soon? Girl: [smiles. We take the short elevator ride down together quietly] Me: [as we leave the elevator] How was your night? Girl: Good. Where are you from? As it turned out. She said 33 . this girl was quite conservative. We spent some very good times together. this one’s actually how I started a conversation with a very pretty girl I met in an elevator. looks away] Me: I’ll take that as a yes. very kind and considerate. oh.
Why It Works Women are accustomed to men walking up to them. Such as: • That you’re confident enough to let a conversation die momentarily. and then not letting up until the conversation ends. while most of the foreigners she met just talked all the time. Slow opening is a way to break that mold and come in differently. back up again Most men are like pitbulls. This seemed mostly to reference the opener. they latch onto a woman and then won’t let her go or let the conversation die out of a 34 . and start it again. initiating conversation with them.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE that normally when foreign men would talk to her. Had I barreled in there guns blazing like most cats do and gone opener conversation. I likely would’ve come off too strongly for her. she’d simply ignore them… but she sensed I was different. then leaving. and the two of us would never have gotten together. and it says some wonderful things about you. She also noted that I seemed quiet. no matter how I proceeded.
makes a brief comment to her. • reengage. and start chasing immediately. and one of the ideas she may float in her head is that you only decided you liked her after first speaking with her. go crazy. the instant a conversation dies. Assuming she’s a beautiful woman. over most men when they meet her flip out. and they open her and start talking to her right away. That you’re confident enough to reengage Most men. • That you’re intriguing and hard to win over. they feel it’s over. When you reengage. A few guys play it a little more smoothly.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE fear of losing her. She doesn’t know exactly why. Then a guy like you comes along. it makes her feel quite 35 . you communicate that you’re confident a woman will want to keep talking to you. then lets it die… then restarts it again. and go hang their heads in defeat. but more calmly. but that winning you over isn’t easy. Letting her go briefly shows a degree of confidence most men lack. When a woman feels she’s won you over a bit.
sexy guy letting the conversation die before it even got going is very saddening and disappointing. girls who aren’t sure about you on the 36 . she will be many times more excited than the first time you began speaking to her – it almost feels for her as if she just received a second chance with you. girls with very high standards. and it’s hard to quantify. then having you again. But I will attest I’ve seen slow opening work with women that I normally have a very hard time getting to open (like the girl who became my girlfriend). And there’s one more thing it does very well for you: • It puts women on an emotional rollercoaster. girls in bad or unsocial moods. then lost you. That last one’s a doozy. rollercoaster An attractive. conservative girls. and an attractive. Quiet girls. sexy guy talking to her is very exciting for a woman. then she would have had she had you from the beginning and never lost you. When you reengage.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE special and makes her like you a lot for making her feel that way. She will appreciate you far more for having had you.
although it won’t be as effective. if the girl is high energy. but you’re low energy. I prefer to move smoothly. than opening and launching immediately into follow up without a bit of a pause. but you’re low energy. this works. and seems like the most natural thing in the world for you to be doing. normally. relaxed guy. slow opening works like a dream. it can still work. It gels perfectly with your vibe. I wouldn’t advise slow opening when you’re very high energy. it may also still work. When to Use It I tend to be a very low energy. calmly. so slow opening very nicely fits my style. 37 . When you’re operating this way. you might say. If the environment is high energy. far more natural. and… organically.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE initial approach – your odds with all these girls improve substantially when you slow open them. No joke. I’m not a huge fan of running around going crazy expending huge amounts of energy doing stuff.
If you’re feeling energetic or wild. What high energy boils down to. They are as follows. So. if you keep the concept of effort in mind.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE If you’re high energy. maybe put the slow opening on the backburner until things quiet down a bit. basically. then pause. And if you’re expending a lot of effort. shall we say. it’s usually going to seem a little strange. It’s dynamite then. slow opening is best used when you yourself are moving at a slow tempo. then resume talking to her. rules of engagement that you’d do well to follow when using this style of conversation initiation. though. it would seem a little unnatural for you to open a girl. there are a few. 38 . is someone who’s expending a lot of effort. Things to Keep in Mind Although it’s a fairly straightforward manner of getting to know a woman.
On the other hand. when you end with a statement. you must follow it up with a statement before pausing. and therefore the pause feels more like the man paused because he simply didn’t know what to say. 39 . it seems to feel like a natural conclusion to the conversation. not questions. and it seems to be that if you first ask a question. it’s a welcome return to engagement. or You Must Follow Up with One Before Pausing This is essential. then be quiet after. if you do not follow up with a statement. your re opening rates go very far down. whether the girl responds or not. rather than because he was naturally concluding the conversation. then reengage? The conversation seems to feel unconcluded without ending on a statement. or it feels odd – why did you ask a question. I’m not completely sure why this is – my current theory is that it feels more you’ve been thrown off balance. When you reengage.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE Statement. You must use statements. If you begin with a question. I’ve tested this out a number of different ways. and the woman gets that jolt of sadness at seeing it end so early. Your First Words Must Be a Statement.
and your odds of successfully reopening seem to begin a steep decline. the longer you wait before reopening. There is only a limited window to pull the reopen off during. you must be fairly precise. Beyond that. Slow Avoid VERY Slow Opening 40 . This is just something you’ll need to get over and get used to. just work on getting to the point where you can reopen with less anxiety (which will also come naturally once you’re a bit more practiced with the technique and have seen some good results from it). Beyond that. make absolutely certain you’re not waiting any more than six seconds. Don’t dismiss the technique because of this. your results will necessarily suffer a bit. and recognize that so long as you reengage while feeling a bit of anxiety.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE Wait No More Than Four to Six Seconds to Reengage The most challenging aspect of slow opening for beginners will be the chance of a second bout of hesitation or anxiety before reengaging a girl.
and it’ll increase your mystique and allure. if a woman isn’t fully responsive when you reopen. Thrice. and you might as well be a one trick pony. and it starts seeming gimmicky. Slow opening is like a special power.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE There might be a temptation. you can only use it once with each girl. to give her a few more pauses and ended conversations and reengagements. Do a slow opening once. of sorts. Don’t fall prey to this way of thinking. 41 . Do it twice.
your opening should grow more confident. a very natural. and I’ll see you sometime soon in another book or on GirlsChase. exciting way of meeting and talking to women. Chase Amante. I hope you’ve enjoyed reading. more effective.com.SLOW OPENING CHASE AMANTE CONCLUSION In this book we’ve covered the reasons why opening can feel unnatural and the chief mistakes men make in opening. and the most important points to keep in mind. as well as what to do to avoid making them and instead open well. We’ve unveiled slow opening. Thanks very much for buying my book. what situations to use it in. Armed with this knowledge. March 2011 42 . and we’ve looked at the nitty gritty in how it works. and more natural than ever.
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