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THE "VAGINA" Lie down on your side and hold onto your penis with the "Backhand" grip. Roll over further and brace your hand against the bed, and thrust your penis in and out of your hand. This closely mimics the movements of intercourse. It's a very different feeling to masturbate by moving your pelvis rather than your hand. It's also fun to put your other hand down and feel your scrotum moving back and forth as you pump in and out of the "vagina." VARIATION: "VAGINA" FINISH If you like the "Vagina" technique but don't have a lot of stamina or energy, masturbate normally until you can feel that if you don't stop, you'll ejaculate. At that point, wrap both hands around your penis and start pumping "Vagina"-style like there's no tomorrow. This will be a very rewarding experience. VARIATION: TWO-HANDED "VAGINA" Kneel on the floor, and lay down a towel. Lube up well, and lock together the fingers of both hands, palms up. Place your erection in your hands, and wrap your hands around your penis. Then put your hands (and your erection) on the floor, and pump your pelvis front to back, without moving your hands. Throw your head back, close your eyes, and imagine having sex with the girl of your dreams. You may have to lube up a few times, but it produces a very nice orgasm.

ROSY PALM With some kind of lubrication, rub the tip of your penis head against

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the palm of your other hand. The resulting orgasm will be very powerful. VARIATION: ROSY FIST Masturbate regularly with one hand, and with the other, do the Rosy Palm. VARIATION: ROSY PALM & BLANKET Lie in bed with a soft blanket on top of you; hold your penis with one hand and stick it straight up so the head is touching the blanket. Then with your other hand go outside (on top of) the blanket and try the Rosy Palm technique through the blanket. You don't need lube; all you feel on your penis head is your soft blanket. You might not be able to continue this for long because of how sensitive your penis head can become. VARIATION: ROSY ARM Instead of rubbing your penis head on your palm, rub it on your forearm. You don't need lube, and it's softer than your hand.

"ORAL" SIMULATION To simulate the feeling of lips sliding over the penis head: Lube up your erection and hold the shaft in one hand. Put your dominant hand's index and middle fingers together horizontally, palm toward your face, in front of the penis head. Push the head into the gap between the fingers. The fingers should be relaxed, not tense. Now pull back and do

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this over and over the top third of the penis. Feel how the fingers conform to the penis's contour as they slide over the head and back. As you do this, position your other hand behind the "lips," and grip and squeeze the head as you push the penis in.

THE MILKER Make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated right hand's thumb and forefinger, and slide it up along the shaft. When the ring reaches the head, make a ring around the base of your penis with your well-lubricated left hand, and work it up. Repeat the process when your left "ring" reaches the head of your penis. The idea is to go up without ever going down. You can use only the thumb and forefinger or add the other fingers as you get away from the base.

CIRCLE 'N' STROKE With one hand, do the typical "up and down" motion — but with one finger of the other hand, circle around the head of your penis. This resulting orgasm will be great!

CRAWL THE WALL This is good if you want to taste your semen when you ejaculate. Masturbate slowly or using the "Stop & Go" method for as long as you wish. Before you reach climax, position yourself on your back against a wall (it may be more comfortable to do this on a bed or on some padding), with your butt touching the wall, knees bent, and your feet against the wall, perpendicular to your body. Next, scoot closer to the wall; lift your butt

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off the ground and keep scooting in toward the wall. Eventually all that should be touching the ground will be the very top of your back and your neck. Your penis should be nearly directly above your face. (Don't stay in this position for long it can cause — discomfort in your neck and may cause it to be sore for a while.) Now try to climax as quickly as you can, using any form of strokes. If you're almost there to begin with, it won't take long. Keep your back as straight as possible, with your stomach in (and with a little directing from your hands), and you'll get a faceful of semen. Towels are helpful to avoid causing a mess.

THE INFINITELY DEEP "VAGINA" Make a fist with, say, your right hand — but instead of grabbing your penis, put it just in front of the head. Then push your penis through your fist. When the head of your penis is about to pop out of your hand, continue the "tunnel" with your left hand. That way you'll be perpetually penetrating into a "vagina."

THE BELLY RUB Get an erection, and if you want, lube up your penis really well, and also lube up your lower stomach area just above your pubic hair and below belly button. Place the base of your thumb just below the head of your penis and under it, so it enables you to push your penis against your lower abdomen. When your penis is against your lower abdomen, push from right to left to right to left over and over again. This way, the surface area of your penis head is in constant contact with your skin.

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HOT 'N' STEAMY Wait until nobody is home, and then get undressed. Turn your shower on with the hottest water temperature you can get, and wait a while until the shower is totally steamy. Without getting your hands wet, shut off the shower and hop in quickly without letting any heat escape. Your temperature will rise, and you'll feel warm and a bit damp but — not wet. Masturbate in the heat and steam, let your fantasies run wild in the heat, and yell aloud if you want. Do this as many times as you like (but try not to waste too much water or energy!).

WHIP IT GOOD Sit, recline, or lie so your penis points straight up in the air. Grip it relatively low, near the base, and make fairly short, fast strokes. If you stroke with a slightly circular motion, you'll find that your penis head "whips" back and forth. The idea is to find the exact stroking rate that matches the sympathetic resonant frequency of your penis — guys with shorter penises will have to go faster to get the proper action. You'll know you are at the right stroking rate when the head whips back and forth with a motion opposite that of your hand. If your penis is very hard and/or short the opposing motion might not be apparent, but you should still be able to feel the inertia of your penis "fighting" your hand. You should not have to use a great deal of force to achieve the sensation — the timing is the most important factor. This method can be very messy! When you ejaculate, your semen can break up into globules that fly absolutely everywhere. You might want to spread out a large sheet so you're free to go for maximum splatter. VARIATION: WHIP IT HOOK Make your index finger into a hook, and then use it to perform the technique. It provides more contact for a better feeling.

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MONKEY GRIP This one is great if you like to massage your scrotum with one hand while you masturbate with the other. If you're right handed, instead of holding your scrotum from the left side, cross your wrists (left wrist on top) so you're grabbing your scrotum from the right side. You may have to bend your body to the right to get the best position. If you've never done this before, it will feel like someone else is holding your scrotum. Tip: As you masturbate with the other hand, press your fingertips and thumb into the cracks between your scrotum and each thigh, and gently massage those areas with slow, rhythmic movements.

THE HUMP & SQUEEZE This technique can provide that pre-ejaculatory feeling for as long as you want. Lie on a bed (or the floor, but a bed/couch works best) on your stomach, with your penis against your abdomen. With one hand, reach under you and grab your penis. Now "hump" the bed, and as you thrust your pelvis down, squeeze your penis. As you move back up, loosen your squeeze. Repeat these steps. Before long, you should get that feeling you get right before ejaculation — but don't stop or anything. Just keep going if you "hump" — at just the right speed, that feeling will last, and you won't ejaculate. If you secrete a lot of "pre-cum," it can get messy; consider putting a towel under you.

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DRUMMER BOY Take off your pants but leave your briefs on. Get an erection and start tapping on your bulge with your fingers or something else. Be patient — this takes a while, but the resulting orgasm can be great. i b hi

TWO HANDS ARE BETTER If your penis is long enough, place your dominant hand near the penis base, and place your other hand above it around your penis. If you masturbate that way it covers more area, so it feels better.

RINGING THE BACK DOORBELL Here's a technique for guys who aren't afraid to stimulate their anus a little. It's a good idea to take a shower or bath first. Once you've gotten yourself well aroused, kneel so you have easy access with your hands both in front and behind yourself. Put one hand behind you between your buttocks, with a single fingertip against your anus, ready to stroke it gently but not penetrate. Place the other hand in front on the penis head. Now begin gently pushing or circling the fingertip on your anus, gently and lightly, like ringing a doorbell over and over again. At the same time, begin gently squeezing your penis head with your other hand cupped over it. Get a rhythm going between both hands. You should begin to feel pleasure through the whole lower part of your body. Allow this to spread all through you.

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Gently grip the skin just below the penis head on the underside; place it between the thumb and index finger, and start rubbing, almost like you're snapping your fingers with just your index finger. You won't feel anything until you're almost about to ejaculate. Variation: Start masturbating normally, paying close attention to the penis head. When you feel you're about to ejaculate, slow down and switch to the Skin Flick technique and continue. With this variation you usually don't have as strong an orgasm as when you use the Skin Flick method all the way from the start.

THE SHORT "VAGINA" For this one, put the palm of your hand around the head of your penis, extending your fingers along the shaft (the thumb on top of the shaft and the middle and third finger on each side of the ridge under the shaft, the forefinger and the little finger being on each side). Using this grip, the head of your penis will bang against the palm of your hand every time you will penetrate the "vagina." With your free hand, you can lengthen the vagina or play with something else.

SPREAD YOUR FINGERS Masturbate with your dominant hand, and put your other hand palm-down on your lower abdomen with the little finger and ring finger on one side your penis, and the other 3 fingers on the other side. Push on your lower abdomen with your palm while squeezing the sides of your penis with your fingers. It produces a great sensation, as if there is another person lying on top of you and your pelvises are rubbing together.

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THE FOREARM V A semi-hands-free technique: Simply clasp your hands together by interlocking your fingers tightly; then lower your arms and get your penis to rest in the V between your forearms. Masturbate normally, by moving your arms together. The effect is better if you resist letting your dominant hand control the movement — let both arms move as one. The freedom of not having your penis clasped seems to encourage a good ejaculation. You pretty much have to be standing to use this method, but it's more interesting than the "fist," but it can still be done in a tight space like a shower.

THE BELLY-SMACK Get naked. Standing up, spread Vaseline over the top part of your penis head and spread more Vaseline on your stomach around the navel area. Leaning forward against something, and with a little bounce in your knees, thrust your pelvis and smack your penis against your greased belly about two times per second. Do this in 3- to 5-minute intervals. If you can keep this going for an hour, your penis will get so sensitive that it tingles and twitches between intervals. When you finally do ejaculate, it's a no -hands orgasm, with your penis smacking against your belly and semen flying everywhere. Take it slowly at first, with short sessions until your lower back and penis get used to it.

THE INDIAN BURN Remember in junior high how the bully would always give you an "Indian burn" on your arm? This is where the arm is grabbed with both hands, and the hands are twisted in opposite directions (like you are ringing out a wet towel). On a smaller scale, and with less force, you can used this technique on your penis. Lube is required. Grab your penis with both hands and give it a gentle "Indian burn." It's best when one of your hands grasps the head of your penis and the other hand is just below the head. One of the best things about this technique is that if you tend to rush toward climax, this forces you to slow down.

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CROSSED FOREARMS Lie on your back, with your erect penis lying on your stomach. Place your hands palmsdown on your thighs. Then, keeping your arms straight, move your left arm to the right and your right arm to the left, so they cross, making an X. Arrange your arms so the crux of the X lies over your penis head. Keep the smooth skin of your forearms facing your shaft. Now use your stomach and pelvic muscles to thrust your penis forward and back underneath your crossed forearms. This is a good hands-off technique, and it's great for the abs, too!

THE ICE-COLD HAND Masturbate normally with one hand, with a bowl or pot of ice water nearby. When you feel yourself start to get close to orgasm, put your other hand in the cold water. When you are about to ejaculate, put your now-freezing hand onto your testicles. It might give you the biggest orgasm ever!

GIVE ME 5 Put a pea-sized amount of lube in the middle of your palm of your masturbating hand. With your fingers spread out like you're trying to gesture to someone the number 5, start rubbing the head of your penis back and forth as fast as you can. Hold your shaft in place with your other hand.

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THE REVERSE MILKER This technique is similar to the "Milker." Instead of beginning at the base of the penis and going up toward the head, use both hands and do this in reverse. It is important that the penis and both hands are well lubricated. Make a "C" with both of your hands, and then stroke your penis downward. Rest the bottom of your palm at the tip of your penis and bring it down; when the bottom of your palm hits your body, do the same with your other hand, bringing the first to the top of your penis, and repeat what you did before. You increase speed as you go, and you always use a downward motion.

SURF THE WEB Use a Backhand grip with dominant hand. With your other hand approaching vertically from above, place your thumb, index, and middle finger on one side of the base of your shaft and the rest of your fingers on the other. With the webbed-like skin in between your middle and ring finger pressing against the base of your shaft, move both hands along the shaft together. The webbing of skin produces an intercourse-like sensation.

THE WINDSHIELD WIPER Pull down your pants and underwear. Without lube, get an erection. Press your penis against your belly lightly, stimulating the head. Next, with a hand, make your penis go back and forth against your stomach like a windshield wiper. It may take a while, but it's great!

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MR. SPOCK After getting an erection, take some baby oil or any lube of your choice, rub the lube over your penis head, shaft, and scrotum (use a lot of it). Put some lube on your dominant hand and make sure to put some extra in between your middle and 4th fingers. Separate your two fingers on each side to make the "Spock" sign from Star Trek. Slide your hand up and down your lubed penis in between your fingers slowly, and at the same time, massage your scrotum and testicles. Vary the speed and pressure of your hand, and you will take yourself to where no man as gone before!

THE SPITWAD This one should be done without lube. Lie on your back, penis pointing toward your chest. Bring together the thumb and index finger of one hand (and perhaps the middle finger as well) — like making the "okay" sign — and gently pinch a flap of the sensitive, loose skin on the underside of the shaft about an inch from the tip. Rub your thumb and index fingertip in a circular motion, keeping the hand itself basically stationary — like you're rolling a spitwad between your fingers. The skin should move with the fingertips, not across them, so all the rubbing stimulation happens inside the penis rather than on the outside. Do whatever you want with the other hand.

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TWO HANDS — ONE STEADY ONE NOT This is good if you have a lot of skin on your circumcised penis, or if you're uncircumcised and your penis head isn't too sensitive. With one hand, grasp the penis about halfway up and gently pull the skin around the penis down towards your body. Wrap your other hand around the end of your penis, and with lubrication, stroke up and down the shaft going up almost off the head and then back down.

THE FIGURE-8 Lubricate your hand very well and move your Fist slowly up your penis in the traditional motion. When you reach the head, turn your hand over to a Backhand grip, keeping in contact with the head the whole time, and begin back down with the Backhand. Use varying speeds for best results.

ROCK AROUND THE CLOCK This is similar to the "Belly Rub" but more intense. Your penis may not be flexible enough for this one, so stop if it's uncomfortable. Kneel upright with your knees almost a foot apart. Now sit back on your feet so you're still in a semi -upright position, with your rear end resting on your heels about 6" above the floor. Get an erection and grasp your penis just below the head. Like with the Belly Rub, begin rubbing your head against your stomach below your navel area. But don't stop there sweep the head as far as you can — down your left leg, keeping it in contact with your body all the way. Now sweep it in the opposite direction, up toward your navel and then down as far as you can along your right leg. The entire motion is almost circular, as if your penis is a hand on a clock and the head is hitting all the numbers. Go slowly — and don't hesitate to linger rubbing your head wherever it feels really good.

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THE LITTLE MERMAID From Scandinavia: Sit down folding your legs underneath you but with your feet to the right side — just like the statue of the Little Mermaid in Copenhagen. Bend your torso forward so that your erection lies in the groove formed by the calf and thigh of your left leg, and clamp it in place with the thigh of your right leg. Lubricate generously. Now you have a number of possibilities: Straightening your torso thrusts your erection forward and also changes its angle downwards, which can be a delightful sensation. Lowering your body slides it back again. Rubbing with your right thigh back and forth is a stunning feeling, especially is you have hairy legs. Clamping and unclamping your left leg massages your testicles. You can also keep your penis in this groove while crouching, standing on your toes instead of sitting flat. This technique frees your hands so you can massage yourself anywhere you please. Your orgasm will feel better than it does from any kind of "hand" masturbation.

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THE BUTTERFLY Masturbate while lying on your back, and keep your knees bent and pointed outward so the bottoms of your feet are almost touching. (Your legs should be spread.) When you reach orgasm, "pump" your legs, bringing your knees almost together back out again. Keep pumping the legs while you ejaculate.

TWO-FINGER TICKLER Hold your erect penis between your thumb and middle finger just below the rim of the head; then, with the index finger placed against the head, wiggle the head back and forth until orgasm occurs.

CHOPSTICKS With your dominant masturbation hand, spread your index and middle fingers as if they were chopsticks (or the "peace" sign, for you folks who remember the '60s). Orient your hand so your palm is facing you; the "chopsticks" should be pointing to the left if you're using your right hand. Insert your penis between the fingers so your index finger is on the underside of the penis (the site facing up, or toward you're feet, if you're lying on your back) with the middle finger on the top. Next, squeeze the "chopsticks" together and move them rapidly up and down your penis. Your index finger does the important

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job of stimulating the sensitive underside of the penis, while the middle finger produces additional friction on the top. Lube is optional when doing this; in fact, no lube, or very little, intensifies the skin-on-skin feeling. This is a very simple technique that produces great results. It may even be more pleasurable for men who can draw out their orgasms.

THE SQUATTER Squat down. When your legs are bent, it stretches some of the muscles in your legs and makes the orgasm feel better. For more feeling, bounce up and down in little bounces.

SPRING CLEANING With one hand, pull down the skin of your penis as far as possible, so that it won't move. With your well-lubricated free hand, start "turning" its head (only pretend!) as if you were trying to turn a greasy bottle cap. Try different rhythms, directions, etc.

THE FLAT-HAND JACKHAMMER Lie on your back with your knees slightly bent and legs slightly spread. Aim your penis up toward your head. Hold one hand flat and place it on the underside of your penis so the tip of your middle finger is at the spot where your penis meets your scrotum. The heel of your hand should be on the underside of the penis head. Now move your hand in a straight up-and-down motion, so everything jiggles; do not rub, just jiggle. Start off slowly and gradually speed up so you're jiggling as fast as you can. Also try changing the direction your hand is moving — but if you start rubbing yourself, you're cheating!

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HOLY THUMBS Cover both hands with a lubricant. Put your hands together and interlock your fingers between each other; with palms up, touch your thumbs, which makes a hole between them. Slide your penis into this hole. Tighten your thumbs and move them up and down, or rest your fingers on a counter and thrust in and out.

BODY WARMTH Put your hand out flat, palm toward your body. Take your erect penis and lay it against your abdomen. Pushing your penis against your body, move your hand up and down. The warmth from your body feels very good.

THREE FINGERS TO THE BRINK Here's one that can make a very intense and often longer orgasm. Do not use lube just — use two fingers and a thumb. Use the two fingers to rub just below the top of the head on the underside of your penis. The thumb goes on top of your penis. Get close to orgasm several times by rubbing up and down or in a circular motion. Don't let your fingers slide across the surface of your penis. Stop and start several times. When you are almost ready to ejaculate, apply a little pressure just under the head on the underside with one finger. Sometimes all that's required is light contact with the finger. Just leave your finger there, and you will feel the orgasm build slowly and then feel the contractions start. The contractions themselves will often create an intense orgasm. Your semen will just ooze out at the same time the orgasm happens — but the orgasm will seem to last longer.

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THE NAVEL PRESS

As you are masturbating with one hand, place the fingers of your other hand just below your navel and apply a good bit of pressure (but not so much that it's uncomfortable), and while pressing down, slide your hand down to the top of your pubic hair. Keep repeating the process all the way through orgasm — don't stop as you approach ejaculation. This will give you an incredible feeling during your orgasm. Warning: Don't press too hard, or for too long — you could cut off circulation to your legs, which could be dangerous. VARIATION: NAVEL-PRESS EXTENSION Use the Navel Press technique until you sense the coming orgasm. Now, still applying pressure, draw the "navel hand" all the way up the center of your abdomen (even up to your chest if desired) and then down again. Do so until ejaculation. This technique harnesses the powerful feelings produced by the Navel Press, carrying it throughout the torso. It also simulates contact with a female on top. (You might try to envision that while performing this technique.) You might try sliding more lightly while ascending toward the chest, applying more pressure while descending toward the penis, with maximum pressure at the navel area.

ELBOW ROOM This can be done with or without lube. Get an erection and put your arm in a V shape so your elbow is pointing toward your penis. Bend over and put your penis in the crook of your arm at the elbow. Move your arm back and forth. You can also move your penis — twisting it in the crook.

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THE HOLE OPENER

If you're circumcised, just masturbate in your normal way but when you're about to — ejaculate, with the thumb and index finger of your free hand, gently open up the hole at the end of your penis — you will get a bigger ejaculation.

CONCENTRATE ON THE BASE Get an erection and grab your penis in a standard "fist" grip, but put your thumb at the very base and wrap your fingers loosely around your scrotum. As you stroke up, try to keep your thumb stationary and move your fingers over your scrotum and slightly up your shaft by turning your wrist a little. The sensation of having your scrotum stroked this way is amazing.

RIM JOB When your penis is fully erect, lightly enclose the glans (head) and upper shaft in your hand. Lightly rub the upper surface of the glans, and the rim where it joins the shaft, with the ball and/or base of the thumb. Lightly tease teasing your scrotum, and anywhere else you want, with your other hand. Vary the pressure and speed of your rubbing according to your excitement level and preference. Variation: It helps to be standing. Once your penis is erect, hold your hand over the glans with your palm facing down toward it. Spread your fingers and place the ridge between your thumb and forefinger lightly over the upper rim of the glans. Then just rub backwards and forwards over the rim and the top centimeter or so of the shaft. Vary the pressure according to what increases and maintains the pleasure. With the other hand, tickle and scratch your scrotum, lightly and tantalizingly, or anywhere else you want.

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GRAB FROM BEHIND While standing, bend your torso forward and then bend your legs, so you can reach with one hand from behind — between your legs — to grab your penis. Then start stroking. You can use a "fist" or "backhand" grip, or any other grip you like. It almost feels like someone else is doing it to you, and it also puts a bit of downward pressure on your penis, which increases the sexual pleasure for some guys. You can do this while lying on your side, too, or while kneeling (but you have to crouch down quite a bit). With your free hand you can do what you like — pinch your nipples, play with your testicles, whatever.

SQUAT & GET RIPPED Stand for a while with your knees bent and masturbate with a good amount of lube. When you begin to want more stimulation, squat down and get your muscles "ripped," as you hold your testicles with your other hand. You may even pull on them (you can lube them up as well). Move your hips, also, to get the feeling of thrusting or humping. When you are about to ejaculate, rub hard and fast as you squat — it's great. An option is to sit down and pretend you are having sex with a woman sitting down. This technique is open to many other variations.

THE CROOK & PALM Get naked and get an erection. Put the base of your thumb on the underside of your penis head. Right on that sensitive spot, rub up and down, using whatever speed you prefer. Now, with your other hand, use just your palm and rub the upper side of your entire penis head. Try to refrain from wrapping your hand around your penis. The sensation seems to be more intense with lube. For a variation, slide your hand up and down your entire shaft. This takes a little practice, but once you've got it, you will know!

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THE PRAYER Press your hands tightly against each other, squeezing your shaft between your palms. Move them together in the typical up-and-down motion. This provides a different feeling, because only the sides are stimulated.

TOP & BOTTOM One hand is placed palm-down along the top of your penis, while the other is placed lengthwise down the bottom. You wrap the fingers of the top hand around to the back of the hand covering the bottom side of your penis — then you use regular pumping or thrusting motions. Be sure to use lubrication!

THE TUB STRADDLE When you're in the bathroom waiting for the tub to fill, strip, lube up, and straddle the edge of the tub with one foot in the water and the other outside. Sit down carefully on the edge — it helps if you put some soapy water on it. With your penis erect, lean forward and move your feet back slightly, so you are putting pressure on your penis and testicles. Now start thrusting forward and back — you should experience intense pleasure. You can alter this by adjusting your weight. Gripping the edge of the tub in front of you with both hands will allow you to watch yourself ejaculate. By the time you ejaculate your bath will be ready and you can ease yourself into it and relax.

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THE FINGER-WALK This one is a little like the Milker and Reverse Milker. Place your thumb nearly lengthwise on the flat (top) part of the penis, with the end of your thumb toward your body. With your index and middle fingers, slowly alternate stroking the penis underside upward, toward the head. There is no downward stroke. A variation is the See Saw: The two fingers stroke at the same time but go in opposite directions.

MOVE THAT LEG Lying on your side, spread apart your legs and push them up to your body, with one knee against the floor and the other in the air. Lubricate your hand and penis well, and hold your penis head in a fist. Now lie completely still, and with your fist stationary against the inside of your thigh, move the leg that's in the air from side to side. Your penis should slowly and gently slide in and out of your hand. The faster you move your leg the sooner you'll orgasm.

THE ONE-FOREARM PUMP On a reasonably soft surface, lie face-down. Using whichever arm is comfortable, reach under your body and gently grip your scrotum. Lay your erect penis on the inside of your forearm, and pump while massaging your scrotum. This is especially effective with lube, or if you produce a great deal of natural lubrication. The sensation of smooth skin and body heat is very enjoyable.

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THE BASKET-WEAVE Interlock your four fingers, with your thumbs just touching. Slide your penis through the hole created by your two thumbs and close your hands until you have complete contact on each side of the penis. Your thumbs will probably be overlapping at this point. Now just slide up and down until orgasm. The contact on all sides makes orgasm great.

THE FOREARM THRUSTER Get an erection and lube your penis well. Also lube your abdomen below your navel and the soft area on the underside of your forearm. Hold your penis with your forearm tight against your stomach, and thrust with your hips. Since this part of your arm is so soft, it feels very much like a vagina. Wi b hi

ROLL WITH IT Place your hands on the sides of your penis, and roll your penis between them quickly — kind of like the motion of washing your hands. This doesn't require lubrication.

THE THUMB 'N' INDEX Use your index finger to wrap around the back edge of your penis head and massage it, while using your thumb to rub the large "flat" part of the head. This doesn't feel great

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when you ejaculate, but it sure helps you to climax faster.

TRAP YOUR ARMS Take off your clothes and kneel on the floor (carpet helps). Place both forearms in the crooks behind your knees, and then kneel flat, "trapping" your arms, resting your upper body on top of your legs so you are all folded up. At this point you can stimulate your penis with one hand (using any of a number of these JackinExpert techniques) while rubbing your scrotum with the other. You can also rest your head on the floor or look between your legs to see what you are doing. If you plan to climax this way, put an ample supply of tissue or paper towels between your legs — it should catch most of your semen.

SPITTIN' WRIST Spit on your wrist, and then rub your penis head with it while you stroke with the other hand.

THE CHOIR POSE Start by putting one hand palm-up and put the other hand, palm-down, on top. Then curl the fingers of both hands, creating a tube. Insert your penis and either thrust or move your hands, or both. Using lube makes it feel better. It feels great to be able to have something touching the whole girth of your penis.

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THE CROOK Find a very slick lubricant (baby oil works well). Put it on the head of your penis right at the ledge where the bottom of the head meets the shaft. Now with the crook of your hand, between the thumb and the index finger, SLOWLY begin to rub the area where you applied the lubricant, moving up and down over the "ledge" of the head. Be sure to use only the crook of your hand — do not wrap the rest of your fingers around the head of your penis, because the feeling will not be the same. The slower you go, the better the results in the end.

THE HANDSTAND Get completely naked. Lie down on the bed, and try to get into a handstand position, using the wall for balance. Your head should be on the bed with your body in the air. Now start masturbating. It feels great having nothing but your head touching the ground. Just make sure to aim away from your face!

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THE DOUBLE DECKER Bring both hands down on your shaft, one on top of the other (one near the base, the other near the head). Move them together in the typical up-and-down motion. You can also vary the directions of your hands — one hand going up while the other goes down at the same time.

THE TANNING LOTION Lie on your back, lube up, and sandwich your penis between your hand and your belly. Stroke up and down with your hand open (not closed around it), as if you were putting on tanning lotion. You get two sensations — the backside rubbing against your belly, and the front side rubbing against the hand. You can vary it by rubbing with the palm of the hand or with the fingers.

NOW I LAY MY HAND DOWN TO SLEEP

Starting on your hands and knees, lay your right forearm (if you're right -handed) down on floor and rest your head on it, and get an erection by using your left hand. If you do it right, by the time you become erect your right hand will fall asleep and lose its feeling. When you begin stroking yourself with your right hand, it'll feel almost like someone else is doing it for you. For safety reasons, don't do this for too long, and whatever you do don't use any artificial methods of cutting off the circulation to your hand.

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LIKE A HOLE IN THE HAND This might not work very well if you have a smaller penis. Lube up both of your palms. Now interlace your fingers, as if you were praying, but move your thumbs to a more horizontal position so you're making a hole between the thumb of one hand and the index finger of the other. Now insert your penis through this hole from inside your clasped hands and pump away. If your penis is large, you can squeeze your hands together and press on the sides of your penis. If you're doing this you can also cover the hole with your thumbs — with enough lube and the right hand action you can create a great suction effect.

THE CITRUS SQUEEZER As with "Spring Cleaning," pull down the skin as far as possible. Slide the fingertips of your free hand along the well-lubricated groove between the head and shaft of your penis. You can move your fingers from left to right or up and down (or both). Also, try varying the pressure.

HEEL TO HEEL This requires a little flexibility. Lubricate your penis well and put a little on the insides of your feet, just below the ankle bones. Get into a sitting position on a flat surface and settle down on your haunches, feet together. Pull your scrotum to one side, and looking between your legs, push your erect penis into the space between your heel bones and your ankle bones so it's held between your feet. Put your hands on the bed or floor in front of you and move your body up and down to masturbate. You can change the feel by

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separating your legs slightly and by altering the tightness of the hold on your penis by your feet. Opening and shutting your knees also gives a nice effect.

THE LOTUS While masturbating, the lotus position — where you sit cross-legged with each foot on top of the opposite thigh — can give a very intense feeling. It also makes it easier to hold off ejaculation.

TRIGGER FINGERING With an erection, grab the penis base with one hand and gently pull the outer shaft skin downward toward your pubic hair. Use the other hand to stroke the upper shaft, in the opposite direction. Also try clasping the head in your fingertips while keeping the shaft skin pulled down toward the base. Then try using one of those fingers on the upper hand to "trigger" the highly sensitive spot on the underside of the head. This tugging upward on the head of your penis while keeping the skin tightened on the shaft also stretches the skin along the entire underside of the shaft, producing strong, steady impulses of pleasure. You can also try this kind of "trigger fingering" while carefully pulling your testicles downward between your thighs, or pressing and rubbing gently on your perineum behind the scrotum with the other hand.

CARDS IN THE BICYCLE SPOKES This one is different. Hold your erect penis at the base with your left hand (right if you're

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left-handed), and spread apart the fingers of your right hand. Holding your penis straight up, move your right hand back and forth so the head of your penis bumps against your fingers rapidly. If you've ever put playing cards on the spokes of your bike (to make it sound like a motorcycle), you'll know where the name of this technique come from! No lubrication is necessary.

THE TWIST Making sure that your foreskin is covering your glans (penis head), place your thumb and forefinger on opposite sides of the glans. Moving in short, quick motions, move the two fingers up and down while rotating at the same time.

THE BAGGIE & THE MATTRESS Get a plastic sandwich baggie and put some Vaseline in it. Then put your penis in and squish all the Vaseline around so it covers your penis. Once that is done, kneel in front of a bed. Lift the up mattress and put your penis, with the baggie still on it, between the mattress and the box-spring. Start pumping as if you were having sex. When you're done, all you have to do is throw away the baggie. VARIATION: BOXERS & MATTRESS Get two pillows and sandwich them under the mattress, wrap a pair of boxer shorts (or something else soft) around your penis, and fold a Kleenex into the end, over the tip. Then insert your penis between the pillows and pump away. VARIATION: BUBBLE-WRAP & MATTRESS Instead of using a baggie, use a piece of bubble-wrap — the plastic stuff used to wrap fragile items for shipment. VARIATION: BAGGIE & MATTRESS & SOCK After putting your lubed-up penis in the baggie, unroll a heavy sweatsock over the whole thing, like a condom. The sock shouldn't have too much left over at the base of your penis, though, as it can limit your range of motion. Then put the whole thing between the mattress and box spring, or under a chair cushion, and go for it! The sock reduces possibly uncomfortable friction while still hugging your penis. VARIATION: HEAT IT UP Put some lube in a sandwich bag; then get a heating pad and fold it in half. Set the bag of

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lube in between where you folded the pad in half. Place the heating pad (still folded in half and turned on a low or medium setting — NOT high), with the bag of lube in it, under a couch cushion seat or between your bed's mattress and box spring, and insert your penis into the bag and proceed like you're having sex. VARIATION: ADD A ROLL Get a condom, a freezer baggie, a toilet-paper roll (with no paper on it), two pillows, a bed, and some lotion. First, lube up the baggie with the lotion and spread it all around inside. Next, feed the baggie through the toilet-paper roll and spread out the open end. Get two pillows and put them between the mattress and the box-spring, and then put the toilet-paper roll with baggie in between the pillows (open end out). Put on the condom and lube that up, too. Insert your penis into the open end of the toilet-paper roll, and pump away. The toilet-paper roll gives you that tight squeeze, and the condom prevents that uncomfortable rub from the plastic baggie.

THE SOCK 'N' CONDOM Get a condom that's a little too big for your penis, and fill the tip with water and water based lube or a bit of liquid soap. (Make sure it's not a kind that stings!) Now get your penis wet and slippery (but not foamy), and slide on the condom, getting rid of any air bubbles. Unroll it all the way so it has some excess at the end. It should feel supersmooth and should slide without much friction. Get a soft and elastic sock, and turn the open part inside out over the toe part. Carefully pull it over your penis while making sure there's still some slack at the end of the condom. Lie down on your couch, hold the cushions apart with one hand, pull the sock down in with the other, and settle into a lying-down position. If the lubrication is right, the slightest movement will make your penis slip one way or the other — it's a challenge just to still for several minutes and lie not ejaculate. VARIATION: SOCK IT TO ME You will need a pair of socks (preferably long, thick ones, like hiking socks if you have them), margarine, and a condom (or a large balloon or thin rubber glove if you cannot get a condom). Insert one sock inside the other and then turn the two half-inside-out so the top of the socks is folded back almost down to the toes. Take the condom and unroll it completely. Put some margarine into the condom and squish it all around so that the bottom two-thirds of the condom is well lubricated. Then insert the condom into the socks. Bunching up the socks from the toes, pull the tip of the condom down the inside

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of the socks until the rim of the condom is just outside the top of the socks. Next, with your fingers under the rim, lift it over the end of the socks so it holds the condom firmly in place. (If using the finger of a rubber glove, you will need to use a rubber band to hold it in place.) You might also need to hold the end of the sock-condom in place somehow. You will now see a very appealing hole awaiting your use. The thick socks will nicely squash the condom flat, providing excellent vagina-like qualities. Spread margarine around the outer "lips" of the condom over the socks, and form a "plug" of margarine in the hole. You're ready to go. You can either move the sock/condom with your hand, hold it and trust into it, or put it between your mattress and box spring and thrust into it.

VASELINE & SARAN WRAP You will need Vaseline (petroleum jelly — not Vaseline Intensive Care hand lotion), Saran Wrap, and two wet paper towels or a wet washcloth. Coat your penis with the petroleum jelly. (The more you put on the more fluid it will feel, the less you put on the easier it will be to clean up.) Once your penis is coated, put the Saran Wrap on your penis with the head in the center of the wrap, and then fold it down around the shaft. Take the wet paper towel or washcloth and wrap that around the Saran Wrap. If you use warm water to wet the paper towel or washcloth, it will feel like a warm vagina.

FOAM SEX Get a small block of foam (the higher the density the better) from an upholstery supply store or an army surplus store; it should be 6" x 6" x 8" or longer. With a sharp knife, make a single straight cut lengthwise through the block. Insert a condom, plastic wrap, or some kind of vinyl/rubber/latex sleeve into the cut, pulling it through from the other side. Lube it up, place it between the mattress and box spring, and enjoy.

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BAGGIE & TOWEL This is kind of a combination of the Foo Foo and Baggie & Mattress techniques (see above and below). You will need one small towel, one sandwich baggie, one to ten rubber bands, and Vaseline (or some other lube). First, fold the towel in half so it's lying horizontally, and then place the baggie at the upper-left corner of the towel with its opening facing away from you. Next, roll up the towel. Use the rubber bands to hold the bag in place; you can use more rubber bands for a tighter "vagina." Next, take a bit of the lube and "finger" the "vagina" so it's slippery inside. Then lube up your penis. Finally, stick the artificial vagina between your mattress and box spring and pump away.

THE LOVE TUNNEL For this one, get a hold of several condoms. Fill each condom with warm water; then tie off the end, as if you're tying off a balloon. Carefully tie each end together to form a ring. When you've done this with several condoms, put them next to each other to form the "love tunnel," holding the condoms together with a wrapped-up towel or a large can, such as the kind Ovaltine comes in. Definitely use lubrication for this one — but of course, nothing oil-based or the condoms will rupture.

SOCK, BAG & TUBE For this one you need a paper-towel tube (really hard cardboard, if possible), a sock (the thicker the better), a large plastic bag (gallon-size is best), a rubber band, your favorite lube, and a pencil or a similar-size stick. Take the sock and turn it inside out. Stick the sock into the tube and pull it through. Take about 2" of the sock's open end and pull it over the outside of the tube. Then lube up the inside of the bag and push the bag into the

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open end of the sock with the pencil — enough so there's room for your penis. Pull the part of the bag that's sticking out and fold it over the outside rim of the tube and sock (so the opening is still there, of course). Secure everything in place with a rubber band around the rim, and pump into it (or pull it up and down on your penis). Note: If the bag becomes uncomfortable, feel the inside for folded corners or dry areas and adjust as necessary. For cleanup, just throw away the bag.

THE FOO FOO Get a dishtowel (or any kind of small towel) and a latex glove (the thin kind surgeons use, which can be found in many drug stores or hardware stores). Cut a hole in one of the fingers of the glove. Place the glove at the end of the towel on the side edge, and roll up the towel — snug, but not tight. Stretch the opening of the glove around the towel to stabilize it, and put some sort of lube into it. Then thrust into it. To clean up, all you have to do is discard the glove — but be sure to have plenty of extras, because you will love it! Reader improvement: Add 10 or 20 rubber bands on the towel at various parts, especially the entrance of the opening. It makes it tighter and feels a lot better and more realistic.

SPONGE VAGINA SIMULATOR Get about 7 inches of a 2-inch-diameter PVC pipe; a large, soft sponge that can hold a lot of water; and balloons or condoms. Cut the sponge into a relatively thin, flat sheet about 5 inches wide and 7 inches long, and make the cut sponge thicker on one edge (so you can create a tighter opening). With fishing twine, sew the sponge together so the two 7inch sides touch each other. The sponge should now form a cylinder 7 inches long. Put the sponge in the PVC pipe so the inside walls of the pipe are covered with the sponge. You can then put either a condom or one of the squiggly "worm" balloons sold at toy stores through the sponge. Make sure the condom or sponge is secured to the outside of the PVC pipe, and make sure the other end is firmly attached to the other end of the pipe. Then simply put hot water in the sponge. (If the sponge is too hot, it might hurt — so

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wait until it's just the right temperature.) Put some kind of lubricant (hand lotion, K -Y jelly, etc.) in the condom or balloon and slide your penis into it. You might need to make the device several times so the sponge is neither too tight or too loose.

ARMAFLEX SIMULATOR Get a 6-foot length of 1 3/8" inside-diameter x 1/2" wall Armaflex pipe insulation at a plumbing-supply store or home-improvement warehouse (costs about $6). It's a single piece of neoprene foam rubber, not the slitted foam-plastic type others have suggested here. Cut a length 3" longer than your erect penis. With sandpaper, roughen 1" of the inside at one end, apply a 2-part epoxy cement, and clamp it shut with with the other (open) end pointing up. After 12 hours remove and install around the rubber sleeve two thick rubber bands at 1" and 4" from the open end. (The rubber bands they use to tie fresh broccoli are best.) Apply a little K-Y Jelly and 3 or 4 sprays of water, insert your erection part way, and squeeze the tube to expel air. Then thrust in and out. The inward stroke emulates vaginal sex, and retracting simulates oral. This is also good wearing a condom. The sleeve will last a year with daily use. [The reader who submitted this claims it's "the best I've found in 60 years of masturbation."]

THE PASTA PLAYTHING Here's a homemade masturbation toy that takes a bit of time to make, but it's worth it. Items needed: Regular box of spaghetti (regular-size noodles work best — not the large noodles) Jar or glass (any sturdy glass that's the same circumference from top to bottom just — make sure it's long enough and wide enough; 4 to 5 inches in diameter should be fine) Large sheet of Saran Wrap 1 or 2 strong rubber bands Broom handle or long-neck beer bottle Cook the spaghetti noodles until done (as if you were going to eat them). Drain the water and add a bit of vegetable oil to prevent the noodles from sticking together — just add

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one capful of oil, because you'll want them to stick together a little later on. Let them cool to a nice and warm temperature; be sure to finger-test to prevent burning yourself. Next, fill the glass with the noodles and pack it tight. Find something to push down the noodles to pack the glass. (Just be careful to not break the glass while packing the noodles in.) Pack the noodles all the way to the top. Stretch the Saran Wrap over the top of the glass. Make sure the Saran Wrap is pulled tight across the top, and secure it with a strong rubber band or two. The noodles will try to pop out, so the stronger the rubber bands, the better it will work out. Next, poke a small hole in the center of the Saran Wrap with a pencil or something similar, and then push a broom handle or bottleneck into the small hole in the wrap. It should open up the wrap some and make a nice-size hole in the packed spaghetti. The spaghetti will expand some to accommodate your penis; a broomstick handle makes a good starter hole. You can use any lube, but try warm butter. Just put the butter in a bowl and microwave until melted and warm (not hot). On a finger, rub the melted butter inside the spaghetti hole. At this point you will feel just how much that spaghetti really feels like a vagina — it's amazing, especially if the spaghetti is still nice and warm. Apply the butter lube to your penis, and insert it into the hole. The Saran Wrap keeps the spaghetti from coming out and also creates a vacuum effect. You can put the jar on the floor or between two pillows or wherever it sits well for you, and hump away.

THE TUBE O' SWEETNESS Fill a ZipLoc sandwich baggie about halfway with honey and add a spoonful of peanut butter to thicken if needed. Squeeze the air out of the bag, flatten it, roll it up to make a tube, lube it up, and then insert your penis. If you use freezer bags, you can heat the mixture a little in the microwave. Since honey never goes bad, you could use the tube o' sweetness many times. (Wash the outside of the baggie between uses.)

PRINGLES-CAN SIMULATOR What you need: An empty can of Pringles potato chips, two latex rubber gloves, two foam sponges, two electrical-cable ties, and lube. Cut off all the fingers of one of the gloves but not the thumb, leaving a latex tube. Tie a knot in the glove's wrist. Next, cut a

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couple of parallel slots in the Pringles lid near the middle to thread a cable tie through. Tie knots in all the other glove's fingers except for the middle finger. Secure this middle finger to the inside of the lid using the cable tie. You now have a latex sleeve to simulate the inside of a vagina. Now you need to mold the sponges to surround the glove — it's up to you how tight you want to make it. Cut off the bottom of the Pringles can, leaving a hollow tube. Slide the glove and sponge arrangement into the tube and secure the lid. Now stretch the glove's wrist over the open end of the tube, and finally, stretch the other glove over the entrance and secure it with a cable tie. Add liberal amounts of your favorite lube, and there you have it — your very own "vagina" that you can shag whenever you want.

BUBBLICIOUS Put some bubble-wrap inside something cylindrical, like an empty can of the proper size. Make it tight, add lube, and thrust into it.

THE PILLOW PUMPER Put two pillows (preferably fluffy ones) down on the bed, one top of the other, and then slip your penis between them. Prop yourself up on your arms and begin to pump. This is a free-handed technique.

BANANA MAN This is an easy one. Simply peel a banana (you can eat it later), slip the peel over your penis, and masturbate with it. The banana slime is a great lubricant. You can warm up the peel in the microwave for added sensations. Also, you might have better results if you peel the banana by making just one cut in the peel and removing the fruit through the single cut; you can then cut off the end of the banana peel and insert your penis

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through that end.

THE LUBE-FILLED CONDOM Take a condom with a reservoir tip, and fill the tip of the condom with a water-based lube. (The more lube you use, the better it feels.) Once the condom is nice and snug at the base of your penis, squeeze the tip, so the lube gets squished around. Then start to masturbate. VARIATION: THE SLIDING CONDOM Take a condom and put quite a lot of lotion in the tip. Then roll the condom down on your penis, and squish the lotion between your penis and the condom. Now slowly slide the condom almost off and back on again. When you get going, pull the end of the condom with one hand and then slide it back on with the other. Once you get the technique down, it will feel like your penis is a foot long as you slide the condom up and down. Then, when you approach orgasm, squeeze hard, hold your hands still, and thrust with your hips like with the "Vagina" method for a long-lasting orgasm that will milk you dry.

THE SHOWER MASSAGE If you masturbate in the shower and have a shower massager, lie on your back in the tub, and turn the nozzle to a really rough setting — something that would give your back a decent massage. Put the water on that really sensitive spot on the underside of your penis. After a couple of seconds to a couple of minutes, you'll have a great orgasm.

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THE LITTLE BOXERS Put on some old boxer shorts that are too small, and pull your penis and scrotum out of the fly. Then pull the shorts up so they are tight, and fold the tops down, so you have a little bikini-type thing with your penis sticking out the front. This puts pressure on your penis that feels good, and masturbating like this provides a different sensation.

MATTRESS SANDWICH This one is rather odd but cool. First get an erection, and then take a pillow and crawl between the box-spring and mattress of a twin-size bed. (Full, king, and queen mattresses are too heavy.) Lie on your back, position the pillow between you and the mattress, and thrust your hips against the pillow. The weight of the mattress is a new and interesting sensation. Beware — If someone walks in on you, you'll have a tough time talking your way out of this one! VARIATION: WITH A CONDOM If you use a condom while using this technique, the sensation is better and the orgasm lasts a bit longer.

LATEX GLOVES Try masturbating with latex gloves (the kind dentists and doctors use). You can buy them at the drug store. For a variation, put on yellow rubber household gloves, and over them slip on latex gloves.

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THE HANKY-PANKY Hold a handkerchief by two diagonally opposite ends. Roll it up a little, and then pass the middle of it under your scrotum while bringing the two ends up on either side of your shaft. Grab your penis with the ends of the handkerchief under your hand, and stroke as usual. The hankie will pull your testicles up and down with each stroke.

THE SILK ORGASM Find a very soft piece of clothing; silk is the best (the best you can use is a silk slip), but you can also use velvet or a pair of polyamide shorts, etc. Get an erection and lie down, and place the cloth over your penis. Then, with both hands, start rubbing the fabric to the left and the right, with the silk touching the sensitive underside of your penis. But don't rub too fast. Your penis will get very sensitive, and you'll have a great orgasm. You can enhance the feeling by draping some of the fabric over your scrotum so it gets stimulated, too.

EGGPLANT JAM Select an eggplant that is sufficiently larger than your erect penis. Cut a hole in the peel that's the exact size of the base of your erect penis. Then make a hole in the pulp smaller than your erection (using a broom handle works well). Then put the eggplant in the microwave for about a minute and a half, just so it gets warm inside and starts to get a little soft, but don't really cook it. Then, after you make sure with your finger that the inside is cool enough, put in some lube (try coconut oil), put the eggplant between a couple of pillows, and make eggplant jam. Or, you can lie on your back and just move the eggplant back and forth on your erect penis.

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THE CONDOM-TWIST Put some lube inside a condom, put it on your penis, and stroke for a while. Then start twisting the condom around your penis.

PURE GOLD For someone with a little pocket money to spend: First, buy a small container of Gold Bond Medicated Powder at the drugstore. Throw a towel onto your bed and lie on top of it. (Gold Bond sticks to everything, so it's good to be able to shake out the towel and have a shower after.) The technique itself is very simple: Just sprinkle a bit of the powder onto your hand, rub it onto your penis, and enjoy — no masturbation required. After a few minutes it will start to tingle. This sensation will grow until it's almost a burning sensation, but it doesn't actually hurt. The stimulation alone will give you an erection. The sensation will change almost to numbness, but it will be blissful at the same time. This feeling lasts for a good, long while until your brain kind of shifts into orgasm mode. The stimulation is subtle, but because the stimulation doesn't slow down during the orgasm, it is very intense. (Not everyone who tries this technique will get all the way to orgasm without additional stimulation.) You can put some on your scrotum, too, for added pleasure. Try holding back for as long as you can. A can of Gold Bond costs about $5, but it goes a long way.

THE BANANA SPLIT Lay out a split banana on four fingers, palm side facing you. (The banana can run parallel or at slight angle — don't use the end that attached to the tree, as the stem gets in the way.) Lay your penis on the banana, and lay the banana's other half on top of your penis, and secure with your thumb. Now massage your penis head between your thumb on top and fingers underneath. You can slip the base of the thumb over the banana and take some deep strokes to relieve the pressure on the head now and then. Variations in pressure can help build an explosive orgasm. This method's author claims it "comes close to duplicating a very talented mouth."

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HUMP, HUMP, HUMP YOUR BOAT Take a small, inflatable vinyl pool raft and fill it with air — not completely full, but nearly — and put it in your bed (under the covers if it's a chilly night). Take off your clothes. Now, put some lubricant in the center of the raft and on your genitals. Saliva works very well — just build up a mouthful and let it out on your penis and the raft. Lie on top of the raft and test it by rocking back and forth, "riding" it. It should feel intensely wonderful and slimy — if not, add more lube. With practice you should soon have a wonderful, portable companion that feels much better than masturbating with a hand.

COLD AS ICE When you start to get close to ejaculation, place two to three ice cubes on your scrotum or crotch. The feeling is incredible, especially at the moment just before orgasm. VARIATION: DOUBLE-BAG IT Take two sandwich baggies. Fill one with hot water (but not so hot that you can't put your hand into it), and in the other baggie put about 5 ice cubes and a little cold water. Masturbate one-handed with the warm baggie on your scrotum — and when you feel orgasm approaching, switch baggies so the cold one is on.

THE SOCK PULLER Turn a sock inside-out, and put it over your penis. Then grab the loose ends on both sides with both hands, and — without touching your penis — move the sock up and down.

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THE TWO-PILLOW MOCKUP First, get two fluffy pillows, approximately the same size. Place them side by side on (preferably) the bed. Position your erect penis in the crack between the pillows. Next, adjust the pillows to effectively create a "vagina": push the sides of the pillows toward your penis, and then roll the pillows' outer edges under you so your penis is up off the bed somewhat — this way when you thrust you won't hit the mattress. Now, reach under and adjust your penis so it's pointing downward at a slight angle (or however you prefer). Readjust the pillows for tightness, and pump away.

HANG A TOWEL Lie on your back with one knee bent and raised. Place one arm under that leg to support it with your forearm, and grab your penis with a well-lubricated hand. Hang a towel over the raised ankle so it brushes your buttocks and testicles. Slowly massage your penis as the towel stimulates your scrotum and perineum. The dual sensation of masturbating and something gently brushing your genitals and buttocks will deliver a very strong response.

THE RAG DOLL Lie down on your back and get a good erection. Using both hands, fold a fuzzy, mediumsize to large dishrag under your penis as if it's a hot dog. Twist the rag around so the left side is on the right and the right side is on the left, forming a sort of knot around the penis. Place your hands on your sides holding onto the ends of the towel. When it feels fairly tight, thrust upward — or even better, shake your hands up and down your sides. After a while, you can easily imagine you have a woman riding you. The orgasm takes a while, but it's intense.

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LAUNDRO-BATION For those who live alone and have their own laundry facilities, try masturbating naked while sitting on top of a clothes dryer after it's been running for several minutes with a load of towels or other heavy items. The heat and the vibrations greatly enhance the pleasure. You may produce an exceptionally generous ejaculation from this method. (Not recommended for those who must visit commercial laundromats.)

TWO PILLOWS & A CONDOM Put one pillow on top of another lengthwise on your bed. Place the top pillow forward about halfway relative to the bottom one. Put a little liquid lube inside a condom and put it on. Place your penis between the pillows, and hump away.

THE BLANKET-RUB Lie on your back (on a bed) and lay an unfolded blanket over you. With your arms and hands, tightly hold down the blanket to the bed. Now move your hips up and down and back and forth so your penis rubs against the blanket. It takes a while until ejaculation, but it feels good — it simulates a girl on top of you.

PILLOW PEOPLE Fashion a "companion" out of pillows and comforters; wrap it up tightly and shape it like a person. You can even add water balloons for breasts or a pillow "head" — be creative and explore. If possible, wrap the outside with a silk or satin sheet — something soft and skin-like. Make a deep depression or crevice with the pillows; stuffing some silk or satin

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fabric in the hole makes a lubricant free "vagina." Variation: Put a lubricated rubber glove or plastic bag on your penis and insert it into the crevice. Similarly, you can combine your "Pillow Person" with other Vagina Simulators here in JackinExpert.

THE TOILET PUMPER Lube your dominant hand. Kneeling at the toilet, place your lubed hand palm up and grip your penis. By "pumping" your hips, you can simulate intercourse. The toilet not only acts as a surface level with your hips, it also catches all of your semen for easy clean-up. Wipe your penis with toilet paper, and flush. Bye bye, mess.

THE DOUBLE CONDOM For this one you need 2 types of condoms: one that's non -lubricated regular or snugfitting, and one that's large -size and lubricated. First, put the non-lubed condom on your penis; then put a lot of K-Y Jelly or other water-based lube on the larger condom and put it on over the first. Masturbate by sliding the outer condom over the inner one. You won't orgasm as fast, but when you do it will feel really good.

FANTASTIC SUCKING ZUCCHINI Get a large zucchini or cucumber (the texture is different, so try both), about 8" long and 2" wide. Slice off the stem end. Put it in the microwave for a minute or two; this softens the material inside. Then take a knife and slowly hollow out the inside, being careful not to puncture the skin. Try it on for size after it is cool. Now lube up — you might not

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need as much as you think, as the natural moisture inside helps. After you get going, alternately squeeze and release the vegetable. This will create a sucking action since the air inside cannot escape. Even if the air does get out through a small hole or tear, this technique seems to work.

COOL AS A CUCUMBER Cut a good-sized cucumber about 2" (5 cm) from the end, leaving you with a cross section at one of the wider parts. Then use a small spoon to scoop out the cucumber 4" to 5" (10 to 12 cm) deep. You can use a knife if necessary to help form the hole you are scooping. Don't cut yourself! You must be sure not to make the hole wider than the diameter of your penis — a tight fit is essential. After you have the right-size hole, place the cucumber on your penis. It should be tight enough to barely fit. You will notice a fair amount of suction if it is adequately tight. The inside of the cucumber naturally provides a good lubricant. Masturbate normally, moving the cucumber up and down your shaft. VARIATION: WARM AS A CUCUMBER Once you've hollowed out the cucumber, lightly boil or microwave it. This makes the flesh softer. Soak in cool water for a few minutes, and then heat it up under running warm water. Dry it, poke an air hole in the end, wrap it with duct tape for strength, lubricate it (optional), and have fun. You can also rotate the cucumber between your palms to spin yourself to ecstasy!

SHOWER CURTAIN MADNESS When masturbating in the shower, wrap the shower curtain around your penis. This works best with the "Backhand" grip.

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THE BLOW DRYER

While masturbating, use a hair dryer to blow hot air over your penis. This heightens the sensation of orgasm — although it will dry you out if you're using a water -based lube.

BLOW ME DOWN Get a small travel fan or something similar, and set it up so it blows air over your penis. If you have a more powerful fan, even better. This works best if you either don't lube use or use a non-drying lube like oil or Vaseline. Of course, this technique can be combined with many others.

SOCK'EM BOPPERS In toy or discount stores there are inflatable boxing gloves called Sock'em Boppers. When inflated they are about 12" in diameter. Lie on top of the partially inflated tube and insert your penis where your hand should go; you can roll around and thrust to your heart's content. They're inexpensive and much easier to use and conceal than an inflatable doll, but they work really well. If you have the patience, you can fill the Sock'em Bopper with warm water. Non-oil-based lube is recommended. VARIATION: WITH A CONDOM This involves putting on a partially inflated condom. Blow up the condom very large — when you try to put it on, most of the air will rush out, but that's okay as long as some air is left in it. Once you have the partially blown-up condom on your penis, let out enough air until it's inflated only to the normal shape of the condom. (Keep too much air in it and

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the condom will pop. "Ribbed" condoms feel better with this technique. When you're done, just throw out the condom.

HOT-WATER PARADISE

First, lubricate your penis generously with petroleum jelly (Vaseline); its water resistance is very important. Then masturbate with your penis submerged in very warm water. This works best with a shallow tub or a pot. Your penis (and preferably your scrotum, too) must remain submerged in the water at all times, and the hotter the water you can stand, the better. (Note: If it's too hot to keep your hand in easily, it's too hot!) A hot tub doesn't have the same effect, because the rest of your body is at the same temperature as your penis. When you ejaculate, the hot water heightens the sensation like no other.

IT'S IN THE BAG Take a plastic sandwich bag and put a good amount of lube in it — enough to thinly coat the sides. Now put that bag on a heating pad set to low for a few minutes, so the lube and bag warm up. The fun part: Put your penis into the bag, and with your index finger, rub the bag across your penis head until you ejaculate into the bag. Tip: Do this where it's easy to clean up lube if you spill any.

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THE WASHCLOTHED SHOWER HEAD While in the shower, completely cover the shower head with a washcloth and hold it there with your free hand. There should be a large stream of water falling straight down. Put the head of your penis in the stream and masturbate normally.

THE BLIND MELON Get a nice-size cantaloupe and cut a hole about the size of your penis. You can insert your penis into the cantaloupe and either move the fruit up and down or hump it — either way, it feels great. You may want to put a small hole in the opposite end if the suction gets too strong. The feel of the warm juices running down your scrotum is out of sight. Clean up is not too bad, and you might be able to do it more than once with the same melon.

PASTA PASTA PASTA

Cook some noodles in boiling water, pour off the excess water, and let the noodles cool off. Then make a penis-size hole in the pasta, which should be fairly stuck together at this stage. Then away you go. The wet pasta should be enough for a lube. Caution: Don't be too eager with this one — to avoid burning yourself, the pasta must have cooled enough so you could hold a finger inside it without any problem. And please, don't serve the pasta to your family afterwards!

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THE WATER GLASS Get a glass of very warm water (not hot water!), and while sitting in a chair, let your testicles hang over the edge, immersing them in the warm water. Then masturbate normally.

FUN WITH COLD CUTS If you happen to have a surplus of lunch meats in the fridge, get two slices of ham, turkey, or baloney and two slices of bread. Next, warm up the ham and bread in the microwave for a few seconds until warm — but not too hot. Put your favorite lube — preferably not mustard or mayo — on one side of each piece of ham, and wrap them both around your penis so it's covered. Do the same with the bread, but don't put lube on it. Masturbate as usual. The warm meat feels like the inside of a vagina. Note: This technique takes some a while, so don't do it unless you have a lot of time. (And don't do it at your job at the deli.)

IT'S THE SHEET Get into bed and lie on your back with just a sheet over you. (Make sure all other blankets are out of the way.) Pull down your underwear or pajamas if you're wearing them. Get an erection; grasp your penis by the base with just a few fingers, and move it back and forth rapidly (toward your stomach and then toward your feet), letting the head barely rub the sheets. This is very arousing and can create almost unbearable pleasure.

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BABY OIL GEL In the drug store, look for Baby Oil Gel. It's smoother than Vaseline but washes up easily, with just a little soap. It's also slicker than baby oil (and not as thin), water resistant (great in the shower), and leaves your hands and penis smooth and soft. And it's inexpensive. You might also try adding a little conventional baby oil to it: Put some gel on your hand, and then add a few drops of baby oil on your palm, and spread it around. The cleanup seems a little easier compared to just the gel.

ULTIMATE MASTURBATION FLUID Mix together the following ingredients: 1 teaspoon baby oil 2 tablespoons Vaseline Intensive Care hand lotion 2 tablespoons facial cream (cold cream, etc.) 3 tablespoons aloe vera (the green stuff) 1 tablespoon Campho-Phenique canker-sorenumbing ointment (optional) Get in the shower, and smear some of the fluid all over your penis and scrotum or anywhere else you want. Then get some more and put it all over your hands. Use the grip that makes you most comfortable, and enjoy. This is not something to try without being in the shower, as it can get messy.

SLICK-ACTION LUBE Ingredients: 3 soup spoons of mayonnaise 1 teaspoon clove-oil extract 1 cup olive oil 1/2 large tube K-Y Jelly Mix ingredients well in a bowl. With your hand, pick up a large glop and place your penis into it. Begin to stroke. It's messy but cool, soothing, and the clove oil gives your erection new rigor.

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FAKE SEMEN LUBE Combine the wetness of hand lotion with the stickiness of K-Y Jelly by blending the two substances. Experiment with the ratio; you can end up with a mixture that has the appearance and consistency of semen. Recommended if you want to try masturbating with semen as a lube but lack the energy to masturbate twice.

ALBOLENE FOREVER An excellent lube is Albolene, which can be found at the drug store in some parts of the U.S. The jar, which has a blue and green label, says it's a "liquefying cleanser," but there's no soap in it. It's made for removing make but it's terrific for masturbating. -up, Apply a small amount, and you're good for an hour with no drying out and it wipes — off with a towel easily, leaving no stains. One important thing to remember about Albolene, however, is that it not to be used with condoms, since it's not water -based. Also note: Albolene seems to be sold only in certain parts of the U.S.; it may not be available on the West Coast or other parts of the world.

OKRA! Simply place okra (a vegetable) under hot water. It will become extremely slippery. Put your hand on your penis and you're ready to go.

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COCOA BUTTER IS BETTER For a lube you don't need to mix, try Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula with Vitamin E. It costs only about 3 bucks for the solid in a plastic jar the size of a Vaseline container, and it lasts forever. You can masturbate practically all day with one application, and it doesn't dry up like K or get hot on the flesh like Vaseline. Don't use the preparation -Y that comes in a tube, though; it just isn't the same formulation.

GREEN LUBE Mix together some pure aloe vera gel (which you can get at the drugstore), lotion (preferably Suave's Skin Therapy), and a little water.

JELL-O LUBE A recipe for a homemade Jell-O-based lubricant: 1 cup of water 1 cup of baby oil 1 packet of Jell-O (any flavor) Throw all of these ingredients into a blender and mix until smooth. Then pour, and away you go! (Note: This lube is incompatible with condoms; the oil will dissolve the latex.)

STOP & GO Get some lube, and begin to masturbate in your favorite position — but right before you ejaculate, STOP! Put your hands down, or put them behind your head, so you don't ejaculate. Let your erection get just a little soft, and then start again, and once again, right before you ejaculate, STOP. If you do this at least four times, not only will it prolong your session greatly, it will make you ejaculate a lot more semen.

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TORTURE YOURSELF Try 20 light masturbation strokes, from base to top, followed by 10 quick ones. Keep alternating. Most men can't stand more than 10 minutes if someone else is doing it. This can be considered slow torture masturbation — you want to ejaculate, but you can't. When you do, the orgasm is especially good.

BEAT TO THE CLOCK After you have masturbated for a good, leisurely long time (with many stops and starts!), set some kind of timer, alarm clock, or digital watch to go off in 10 minutes — and don't let yourself ejaculate until the timer goes off. You should also have a digital clock in the room to note the time. (This can be the same clock as the one with the alarm, as long as it doesn't display seconds — you want to know the time to the minute, but not down to the second.) Refrain from looking at the clock for the first few minutes. As the ejaculation time draws near, occasionally glance at it — but don't stare. When there's one minute left on the clock, you'll go crazy with anticipation because the alarm could ring at any second. Try to hover right on the edge so you can orgasm immediately when the alarm rings. It will seem like an eternity! It's especially good if the alarm has a fairly long ringing cycle. If it continues to ring as you begin ejaculating, it will heighten the sense of urgency and tension relief.

KEGELS FOR MEN There are exercises called Kegels for men that increase orgasm intensity. Kegels for men

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increase sexual feeling by strengthening the pelvic muscles. To get in touch with your pelvic muscles, pretend you're in danger of urinating or having a bowel movement but that you have to wait until you're near a toilet. The muscles you squeeze to hold it in are your pelvic muscles. To strengthen these muscles, start by holding and releasing them 15 times, twice a day. Don't hold the contraction just squeeze and let go. You can do this — unobserved almost anywhere — while driving a car, reading the paper, watching TV, during a meeting ... wherever. Gradually increase the number of squeezes until you're up to 75, twice a day. When you reach 75 at a sitting, instead of immediately releasing the contraction, hold it for a count of three, and then relax and repeat. Work up slowly to about 50 of these longer Kegels. Continue doing the exercises for six weeks, alternating between the shorter and the longer Kegels. The results should be noticeable in your orgasms after a month or more. Once you have the technique down, you can squeeze your pelvic muscles when you're having an erotic fantasy, when you're being sexually stimulated, or when you're having intercourse. Feel free to experiment and see what methods increase your orgasmic intensity the most.

HANDS OFF To keep your erection after ejaculating, stroke to the point that you are ready to ejaculate — but then do not touch your penis and relax all of your muscles. The orgasm will be less intense, but you will stay erect and can continue, and you will not lose the excitement in your body. When you get control, you will be able to do this as many times in one session as you wish.

IT PAYS TO RELAX Tightening your pubococcygeus (PC) muscle — the one that stops urine from coming out — makes your orgasm approach quicker. However, you can control that muscle while you masturbate, and you can keep it relaxed. If you concentrate on keeping it relaxed the whole time while you masturbate, you can go for a very long time without having that sensation of an impending orgasm. But everything still builds up inside you

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— even if you can't feel it. Masturbating for a long time this way can eventually lead to an explosive orgasm with a lot of semen.

SERIOUS RELAXATION Rub the head of your penis calmly enough so you don't have the urge to contract the muscle that spasms during orgasm. Remain completely relaxed, and release all tension in your muscles, breathing, and anywhere else in your body. Free your mind, and don't dwell on the pleasure or the hardness of your penis. Even when you feel like orgasming, remain relaxed and release the pleasure. Breathe normally. You will continue to build the intense feeling until you reach a point where you simply can't stand it anymore. If you are skillful, you may even experience a kind of momentary blindness. Even when you feel like exploding, stay relaxed, enjoy the intense pleasure, and keep rubbing!

TINY ONE-FINGERED CIRCLE Lying on your back, hold the base of your penis with your usual masturbating hand, and using the tip of a finger of the other hand, massage the "sweet spot" under your penis head in a circular motion. Don't use lube your finger should not be sliding on top of — your skin but rather moving the sweet spot around. There's no other motion at all; let your whole body lie perfectly still. The object is to make your penis do all the work during orgasm, and for you to be able to feel every throb and spurt. It's important to maintain a constant rate throughout the entire session, as this will help lengthen the orgasm. Your penis might cry for you to "get busy" for real, but don't give in. It will begin to throb and buck — slowly at first, and then faster and faster. When you finally reach orgasm, you should be able to feel the semen climbing up inside your penis — it's amazing to feel your penis flood as the pressure peaks, like a faucet being slowly turned on. Don't strain, push, or tighten "that muscle" the one that controls urination — just — lie still (except for your finger) and let your semen come out by all by itself. And don't stop massaging — keep going all the way until your orgasm is entirely over and your penis is getting soft. It will take several minutes for your penis to relax and stop being

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sensitive. You may feel totally drained, like a huge orgasm was pulled out of you. It's quite a feeling.

PARALYZED Lie back, and without moving a single muscle, stroke as slowly and gently as possible. I mean NOT A SINGLE MUSCLE. It takes a lot of self-control to be able to not move — but since it takes so long to reach orgasm, it is much more intense than normal.

ALL THUMB This is good if you share a room or a bed and can't get to sleep. Lie on your side, grasp your shaft firmly with one hand, and use your thumb to lightly stroke the head, making circles around the urethral opening. Don't move the hand at all just the thumb. Focus — on controlling your breathing and keeping your body completely still. Maintain a steady speed and resist the urge to pump the shaft with the hand or to make the thumb go faster. If you start to produce Cowper's gland secretion, rub it onto the head, keeping the same speed and rhythm. You may relax the grip on the shaft from time to time to use one or more fingers with the thumb to stroke and squeeze the head in different ways, being careful not to speed up. Then return to the tight, stationary grip. If you increase the pressure, slow down the speed. You can also change from circular to a back and forward movement. Eventually each stroke will cause the penis to tremble as if you are plucking a guitar string. The temptation to speed up or to pump the shaft will be strong — but if you can maintain a slow, steady rhythm you will be rewarded with a long period of intense ecstasy as you hover on the edge of ejaculation. When you finally have your orgasm it will be long and powerful, leaving you completely drained and tingling all over.

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THE MOTIONLESS SQUAT This one is definitely better if you aren't wearing any clothes. Squat down on the ground and spread your legs open about as far as is comfortable. Then, lube up your penis, get into your favorite grip, and go. The key is not to "hop" up and down, but rather to leave your legs and thighs as motionless as possible. Focus the movement on the shaft and the head of your penis instead. Try some different grips — for instance, put both thumbs on top of your penis and two fingers of each hand below. Just keep going until climax, but be sure to maintain the motionlessness in the thighs and legs during ejaculation, as this greatly enhances the effect.

THE CONTROLLED RING Make a ring with your thumb and index finger, and stroke only the glans (penis head). Do not touch any of the sensitive area behind the glans. Do this for as long as you can stand it. Then, with a firm grip, bring your thumb/finger "ring" over the top part of the shaft and stroke. The release/ relief is almost as good as orgasm — even though you haven't ejaculated yet. After the initial feeling of relief, repeat the process. Try to hold out as long as you can each time. You will finally get to the point where you will just want to ejaculate. Says the reader who sent in this technique: "Believe me, brothers, this is one fine way to peel your banana."

DON'T TOUCH IT For this technique you need music, and preferably a portable player with earphones. Strip naked and lie on a bed or in any other comfortable place. Put a towel underneath you if you're worried about the mess. Make sure you have nothing touching your penis or any other part of your body apart from what you are lying on. Put on a CD of music that makes you horny — not music to make love to, but music to screw to. Then touch

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your heels and put your hands behind your head while you listen to the music. Think of sex and lots of it — let your mind go crazy. When you start to get an erection you'll want to touch it, but DON'T! Swing your hips up and masturbate with the air, but whatever you do, don't touch your penis until the music finishes then, when the CD is over, — grab your penis and masturbate wildly.

THE COUNT-UP Get an erection using lots of lube on both hands. With both hands in standard grip form, move one hand down the shaft, followed by the other hand. Then reverse: One hand goes up (toward the head) followed by the other. Repeat the down motions again, this time twice: one hand followed by the other, followed by the first, followed again by the second hand. Repeat the same with the "up" motions (alternating each hand twice). Then go back to the "down" motions, this time 3 strokes each. Then the "up" motions 3 times. Continue this process until you reach a count of 10. Start back at one, and repeat. Depending on the speed you choose, you can ejaculate quickly or after hours of this.

All material on this page © 1996-2005 JackinWorld.com unless otherwise noted.

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10/2/2005

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