SHITHATDIDNTHAPPEN.TXT AaronDismuke * [[{{Tropers/HimeTakamura}} This Troper]] graduated high school with him.

He's a pretty nice guy but he's kind of a slacker. * [[Tropers.ReikoKazama This troper]] absolutely ''adored'' him as Alphonse Elric in the first [[Anime.FullmetalAlchemist Fullmetal Alchemist]] anime. He was just so... ''perfect'' for the role! Now I really want to see whether or not MaxeyWhitehead is as good. *needs to hurry up and finish the first anime* * This troper heard him first on Fruits Basket and then on FMA. It was weird hearing the same voice for characters that were so different.

AbandonedHospital * This Troper lives in a town with an abandoned hospital which the local government literally cannot bring down. Full of asbestos, too expensive to safely bring the building down apparently. Its only real purpose is to be a hazard for those who decide they want a look inside, and to make passers-by confused as they wonder how that graffiti artist got ten meters off the ground. * This troper has an abandoned mental hospital in her hometown. It's supposed to be the most haunted place in the state. * This troper also has a nearby abandoned asylum - just the children's wing (the rest was demolished), but it is significantly creepy. For example, the building contains a room full of children's bowling shoes, an empty pool, and a lone chair in an empty room. This on top of being an intricate multi-level maze. Creepy indeed. --TheOsakaSun * When I was still living in Vietnam, there was a rumor about a haunted house. Apparently, everyone who took their picture at the house, would see a...skeleton standing next to them in the picture. Creepy. Said house is in Da Lat, and is STILL rumored to be haunted. * My school's opposite what used to be an abandoned mental hospital called High Royds - people used to sneak in and look round just for something to do. Those of you who recognize the name and are thinking of a Music/KaiserChiefs song? Yeah, that one. * This Troper's unit had to clear one of these out in Baghdad in early 2004. It wasn't monsters we were afraid of jumping out at us. It wasn't even Fedayeen. It was random civilians who potentially tried to use the hospital as shelter from the US invasion. Thankfully, other than a couple of stockpiles, the hospital itself was completely clear. * I live pretty close to this place in Western Washington. It's called Northern State Hospital. I'd like to point out that insane asylums are the ones that are always abandoned and filled with murderous ghosts in movies. The ghosts here aren't murderous, but it fits in all other ways. * In the summer of 2007, under the respectable auspices of a summer camp digital photography class, this troper explored an outlying service building near some patient wards of the completely abandoned Northampton State Hospital in Northampton, Massachusetts. His testimony so intrigued the film photography class that a second trip was made.

** Two years later (October 2009), the same troper explored around the exterior of an administration building of Metropolitan State Hospital in Waltham, Massachusetts, one of the few buildings on site not demolished or converted to apartments. Yes, Massachusetts had an enormous system of psychiatric hospitals for such a relatively small state... ** This troper lives in Northampton. She would like to verify just how creepy that place is. ** This troper lives quite close to the aforementioned asylum. It is creepy as all hell. * This Troper knows a fan of ghost stories, and he has quite a few from personal experiences. One of his stories involved attending a refurbished mental hospital in New Hampshire turned into a trade school. He and some friends decided to sneak into the abandoned parts of the building, blocked off since they contain asbestos, and entering would get you immediately kicked out, no exceptions. It's described on the inside as "looking just like in the movies where everyone just up and left". Needles everywhere, carts laying about, disorderly. Like the people leaving were in a hurry. Aside from the satanic symbols painted by kids there, it was just how they left it when it was abandoned. There were even tunnels between buildings that were pitch black and had pipes running everywhere. You'd have expected, based on the description, and pictures I later saw, that it was a level in a video game, not an old asylum. So definitely ''TruthInTelevision'' here. There's more to the story involving wailing and running, but that's for a different trope methinks. * Not so much of an abandoned hospital in this troper's case, just a case of poor maintenance. His college's main hall is quite classy so long as you don't venture above or below the first floor. Everything above and below resemble something close to a set piece from Manhunt or just about any Abandoned Hospital. * The hospital where I was born in the mid-1970s was closed in the early eighties when a new facility was built. I never saw the inside of the building after it was abandoned, but it sure looked the part from the outside. The building was finally torn down in 2000; the property has remained vacant since then, as developers and the city council can't seem to make up their minds about what to do with it. The pavement for the parking lot and a driveway (probably for the emergency room) are still there. * [[Tropers/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] got the opportunity to explore the abandoned hospital in his hometown (A friend of my sister's got in contact with the owner of the property, who let us in). The place was quite messy; broken glass, broken ceiling tiles, abandoned equipment, some graffiti (I would have laughed had someone wrote "[[Series/DoctorWho Bad Wolf]]" or "[[{{Portal}} The cake is a lie]]" on the walls), the clocks they had on their walls all stopped at 1:30 AM (Since they where apparently linked together to stay synced up, that's probably when the power was cut), and vintage [=TVs=] still set up in the patient rooms. It was quite fun exploring it; noticing the similarities in design between it and the hospital I work at currently. * In the town of Whitby, Ontario Canada there is a mental hospital

called the old Whitby psych. Most of the old Whitby psych has been torn down but a few still remain and are thought to be haunted. Also there are tunnels for transport of the patients still 'open' though not used.\\ The hospital also has a scary reputation. This troper's mother is a nurse that worked in the Toronto hospital and when the mentally ill patients reached capacity they would be sent to the Whitby psych. When the patients where told this, many would react with fear and violence, and beg not to be sent there.....creepy? * There's an abandoned mental hospital just down the road from this Troper. It was evacuated on the same day I was born, and finally closed in 2001. * [[@/NotSoBadassLongcoat This troper]] was airsofting a good couple of times in an abandoned Jewish asylum in Otwock, Poland. He even decided once to ambush the opponents by going through the basement, alone and equipped only with a really shitty flashlight. The fact that in 1942 [[NaziGermany the Nazis]] murdered half the patients and sent the other half to concentration camps and the staff committed suicide doesn't bother him. * This Troper was at a memorial service for his grandfather once, and the church was just across from an abandoned mental hospital. After the service him and his brother went to have a look around the hospital. There were no ways in without breaking anything, the only opening was a missing pane from a third floor window, so we didn't get to look inside, but as we tried to look through the grimey window on the front door we could hear a beeping sound coming from inside. It was rather weird, all sounds except the beeping seemed to fade into the background as we stared into the dusty, mildew covered hallway. I still hasn't managed to get inside yet, but some day... * This troper goes to hospital clinicals as part of her Health Science and Technology class. Although there are many sections of the hospital that are in good condition, the way to the Dialysis station is not. The elevator doors that lead up to that section of the floor sometimes don't open all the way, and when I get off, the entire hallway is in semi-darkness with flickering lights. There are never people walking through that hall, and the computers in the office are on, but I may have seen only ONE person working there ONCE at the most. * This Troper is South African, and lives in Germiston (near Johannesburg). In the nearby city of Kempton Park there's an abandoned hospital that has a reputation as the most haunted place in the province. There's a Facebook group about it - here: . ** I know the place... I live near Kempton Park. We were at a friend's house jamming Left 4 Dead and boozing one night. Seemed like a good idea to visit the place at 3AM but we were too smashed to drive. Thank God. * One of the buildings (actually, used by courses like Biology and Medicine) at This Troper's university has that exact feeling. * The Old Tooele Hospital is said to be haunted. When it was still open, it was a really crappy hospital, and most of Tooele County drove into Salt Lake if at all possible to avoid going there. (As a matter of fact, most still do because the new hospital is still pretty bad)

After they closed it, they started having year-round ghost hunts, and during the Halloween season, they have a haunted house called Asylum 49 there. This troper worked at Asylum 49 one year, and while her stories are pretty tame compared to the ones that some of the longtime workers can tell, her biggest personal experience was of standing in a dark room with fellow workers, waiting for someone to scare, when she got the most distinct feeling that someone was standing right behind her. She thought she knew who it was, but when she turned to talk to them, everyone was on the other side of the room. Others could tell stories about moving pictures and screams. * In [[{{Tropers/Absynthe}} my]] hometown, there is the behemoth known as the Central State Mental Hospital. It has been abandoned for years, and is supposed to be one of the most haunted sites in the Midwest. * While not an actual AbandonedHospital, I still think this fits the trope: This troper's high school drama club put together a HauntedHouse in our theater around Halloween, and gave tours through it. My second year, our theme was "Haunted AbandonedHospital/Asylum". It was reportedly much scarier than the generic HauntedHouse done the previous year. * There's an AbandonedHospital across the street from [[Tropers/{{Bananaquit}} this troper]]'s former junior high school. Notable for having the word "GLASS" etched on all the floor-to-ceiling windows. * This troper have the luck to live in the same city with China's biggest SARS Treatment facility. The Beijing SARS hospital had been abandoned for several years, and almost no one dares to explore it because rumour says that there are SARS specimens lying around unattended inside and som e might be broken. I had suggested to some friends that it would be a great place for airsoft battles and filming, but they fear that they might encounter some [[NightOfTheLivingMooks unfriendly hosts]] there. * There's this big hospital in my hometown and it's open for builders. Or, anyone with a hard hat. I went in with a friend and found some other guys scribbling graffiti on the wall. I decided to write [[MaxPayne thE flesH Of falleN angelS]] and TheCakeIsALie on it. Went back a week later and someone wrote "Cool story bro!" but it's gone. Apparently State Inspectors don't like teens wandering around abandoned, crumbling hospitals. * When this Troper's brother was admitted to the hospital he raced across the highway at night trying to get to the hospital. Turns out it wasn't a physical thing but a psychological, so he was allowed a late night visit. Hospital hallways aren't filled with a lot of people at 1 am.. * [[EpicFail The worst experience of my life]] had to do with exploring one of these on Halloween night. I not only forgot what day it was (d'oh!), had just completed a night-long marathon gaming session of F.E.A.R. by benefit of energy drinks, but also (big no-no to us types) went ALONE to my destination. When disembodied eyes start appearing in the darkness, it really helps if you paid attention to the one entrance that wasn't boarded up or chained shut... * This Troper had one near his college. Central and Southern Illinois has quite a few of these for some reason.

* [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] used to live in a place where she had to walk past one of these (an old mental hospital) every day on her way to school. And it. Was. Terrifying. Especially to my feverish, demented, 9-year-old imagination. [[FridgeHorror It's even scarier to me now, as a teen, because I now know the history of the place...]] * This Troper has two stories: one is a hospital, another is a school. The hospital used to be a TB sanatorium, and even though it has since been converted into a state government building, the signs for the nurses' locker room, kitchen, etc. are still there, and the morgue still has body lockers and such. The building is also haunted. Elevators will start up and randomly move to different floors without anyone touching them, and little things like that that just give you the creeps. As for the school, it used to be a black high school from when everything was segregated. It's not used now, but it's still there. Our marching band always warms up in the parking lot of the school before parades, and I've checked it out while I was there. The windows are either dirty or broken, it looks run-down, but the doors don't seem to be chained up or anything as far as I've seen. Very creepy. I want to check out the inside one night. * This troper has one in her neighborhood. It's quite creepy, with the broken furniture, eerie-looking windows and general weirdness hanging around it. Of course, it would've been full-on scary had the parking lot not been filled with our neighbor's cars, and if the local drunks, addicts and vagrants chosen some other abandoned place to hang out. * This troper has a story. When she goes to camp with her troop, the camp we go to was an old TB sanatorium. The adults stay in a different building, so its just a bunch of teens in an old abandoned hospital. It would be less creepy if there was a trace of it in the building. The only sign is the windows, the glass is covered in white frosty stuff and there's little drawings and words carved into it. When we stayed in the big room, which has a hallway that's open to the outside, so it's like a balcony, one night some of us were up playing Truth or Dare and this troper looked out at the balcony and saw a floating thing. I remember the fear like it was yesterday. We still don't know what it was as no one was crazy enough to go out and looked. We crammed ourselves into a corner and were completely silent for about an hour. We told the adults, but they didn't believe us. We still go back there. * [[{{smittykins}} This troper]] lives in a converted hospital(Most of it is now apartments/offices, but the ER area has a doctor's office and blood draw station), and my coworker absolutely ''refuses'' to have blood work done there, because she claims it's haunted. * [[Tropers/JPanzerj This troper]] lives in a converted hospital, which was previously a workhouse. The house he lives in used be a psychiatric ward, and before that, the Master of the Workhouses' residence. It's very creepy at night and you're alone. And all you see is some [[NightmareFuel shapes pass by your door]]. If that wasn't bad enough, there's an [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel abandoned tunnel]] that led from the wards to the other hospital site, a good few hundred metres uphill. The nurses refused to go in it without at least two other people.

* There's one in Cork city, Ireland, a massive Gothic Revival asylum of which half has been turned into a hotel. [[Tropers/Moloch This troper and a friend went exploring the abandoned half and were quite surprised to find horse dung on the third floor. Someone had been keeping a horse there, how they got it up and down stairs, I don't know. * This troper has the [[ Glenn Dale Hospital]] just down the bike path from him. This was not a place that people visited to get better. As a sanitarium for tuberculosis, anyone who wound up here could only hope to die in the most dignified way possible. And yes, there is a children's compound. One Halloween, his family snuck onto the grounds and started exploring. Of note were the incinerator, refridgerated morgues, the flooded underground hallways, and the elevator shaft that "breathed". The sad thing is that it really was a beautiful place in its prime, and probably could be again if any restoration were put into it. Budget shortfalls and copious amounts of lead paint make this unlikely, however. * This troper used to volunteer at a hospital radio station. The studio was based in an outbuilding that also housed various ancillary services, and there was a service tunnel linking the outbuilding to the main block of the hospital. A ''terrifying'' service tunnel, poorly lit, with the obligatory exposed pipes, dripping water, and ominous rumbling noises from the nearby boilerhouse. Just to make the terror complete, gurneys and other items of hospital hardware would occasionally be left down there. Even the properly-lit corridors of the hospital could be disturbing at night when there was absolutely nobody around. * This troper is prone to panic attacks. One day, She was visiting Ellis Island when one of them occurred. She tried to rationalize it by saying that she was haunted by the people who died in the Quarantine section. Technically it's a hospital, right? * [[Tropers/{{summonerx}} This troper]] has visited the freakiest abaonded hospital in all of Pennsylvania known as [[ Pennhurst]] aka The worst hospital in history. The conidtions were bad when it was open and in operation but with the abandoned look it feels like it should be in SilentHill or something similar. Now a days there are different groups using the long forgotten area for various purposes - one is a compost & recycling heap center while the other is a badly misleading haunted attraction - but there are rumors that Pennhurst is haunted and well known to local and abroad ghost & paranormal groups. * The oldest hospital in this troper's city is a subversion: it used to be abandoned, but it's been preserved for historical value, and various businesses now use it's space - there's even a (quite good) pizza restaurant where the morgue used to be. Although, the areas that don't see much visitors are still creepy, like the morgue bathroom. * In this Troper's town there's an abandoned hospital that was known for housing both mental patients and before that people with polio before shutting down. Now you can still get to it if you drive out into the countryside. What's really creepy is that it was used once as

a Haunted House on Halloween. Needless to say, this Troper hasn't heard of anyone besides curious onlookers visit the place recently. All this Troper can say though is that it's defiantly creepy, and you can just feel how horrible that place was to be in back in the past. ---Go back to the AbandonedHospital. You might want to bring a spare flashlight... I'm just sayin'. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AbandonedPlayground * This troper lives next door to a playground, and it hasn't been used since I turned eight. Since then, I never wanted to look at it at night. It all changed when one of the neighbors had kids. * This troper found the abandoned playground in the woods near her house the best to go in. It was just the right level of creepy, stuff rusted over and overgrown plants. This was on a marine base and one wonders what happened to get it to that * The sound of chains clanking against tetherball poles in the wind at this troper's elementary school in the off-hours is a sound that will haunt him for life. * Abandoned playground? Pssh. Abandoned ''school'', complete with playground? There are cars in the car park, but you never see ANY kids or adults there, never see them leave at the end of the day, never see them go in at the start... brrr. ** So I'm not the only one who has an abandoned school. I live in Ohio, and there's one right by the middle school I attend. It's effing creepy. I hear it's a place for the PTO to meet up, but oddly enough, I'm not sure that's the complete truth... * Go ''anywhere'' in the Midwest and you can see this kind of thing. Oddly, everything that was cool from TheFifties to present day is still cool. It's a bizarre time warp. * This troper uncovered an abandoned treehouse in the woods behind her house, half-built, and discovered that it was a failed project of her older brother ten years before. * A relative of mine recently bought an unused rural school to set up a business in. I find it and the playground just outside very thoughtprovoking. I can never help trying to imagine the kids who played there, the friends they had, and the memories they made. ** Also, the playground at my old religious school, which went down for lack of funds. I'd give anything for one more day of play with my classmates... * [[Tropers/AdelePotter This Tropette]] has a bit of a phobia towards these. There's something very unsettling about an abandoned place where kids used to play. * The playground next to the elementary school in this troper's old town was never ''abandoned,'' per se, but it was extremely unsettling to walk past at night...something this troper had to frequently due to the fact her after-school program didn't let out until after-dark. It was worse in winter, [[NightmareFuel because the wind would blow and make the swings swing back and forth, yet nobody was sitting on

them.]] * While exploring the some local marsh/woods with her brother, this troper found not one but three abandoned cubbyhouses. While two were ricketty platforms mounted on trees, the third was a proper shed-style structure, complete with tightrope entrance and a strange set of rules for "members" on an interior wall. * There's a graveyard at the end of my road that has a playground. I've only ever seen this in Tennessee. Just the fact that we have a playground in our graveyard instead of down the road at the park, which doesn't have one, is creepy. It's worse that I drive past it every day, usually at night. ** It doesn't seem too strange. Somebody could have built it for funerals to try and cheer up sad children, or entertain bored ones (if a child is too young to understand the concept of death, or didn't know the deceased very well, a funeral is an exercise in painful boredom.) * This Troper and friends managed to salvage an AbandonedPlayground from the backwoods forest as a hangout area in our preteen years. Lots of time afternoon-gazing on the rusty jungle gym and doodling on the brick wall that used to be an outdoors public bathroom. * This tropette loved her elementary school's playground when she attended the school. I hated it in the summer because most everyone left for vacation and no one who was still there would come to the playground. The school was built in 1972 and the playground still has that 70s feel to it and still has the original equipment. There was a tire pyramid on the playground and there was a rumour going around that a little girl was raped and killed in the pyramid when the school first opened. No one would play in it. That story has left me scarred for life. I also didn't like taking my younger siblings there because the school was "haunted" (at least, everyone who attended it thought so) and you could very clearly hear what seemed to be a little girl crying for help. Very unsettling place. * Its a little weird to see that every playground I've ever took step in (from the one within walking distance of home to the one all the way to Hiroshima) never seems to have anyone playing there. Ever. Its like we brought the disease to each one or something. * This troper has lived in several states over his life time and can attest that the Midwest has more abandoned creepy playgrounds (on school, off school grounds, public parks, hidden in the woods, etc etc) then anywhere else. In Cincinnati, Ohio alone there are 3 abandoned parks with playgrounds and several schools with rusted equipment. Columbus, Ohio has a dozen schools with rotten and rusted relics of the past, Harrisburg, Pennsylania has at least two schools with old playground equipment, Breezewood, Pennsylvania has a small parks with rusted slides and swings, and Manchester, New Hampshire happens to have an actual hidden playground in the woods rotting away.. * When Edgy spent his summers with his great-grandmother, he would play in one of these. It had some monkeybars that were extremely bent, from a fallen tree, for a good 20 years before it was removed. * An elementary school [[@/SoWeAteThem yours truly]] went to as a kid is starting to show shades of this. The largest structure is still in

good shape, even has a corrugated steel roof over it now. But there are two additional structures built near the running track. Last time I checked, they were growing weeds... * This troper's best friend wrote a short story about an area of suburbia situated around a playground, all of which became deserted. There was a strong suggestion that some kind of creature had caused the place to become deserted. ---This AbandonedPlayground would make a great setting for ''TroperTales: The Movie'', especially the creepy scenes. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AbnormalLimbRotationRange --Back to [[AbnormalLimbRotationRange Abnormal Limb Rotation Ra]]Wait... Why are my feet backwards!? -----

AbominationAccusationAttack * LOL. I just read a debate about a random activity that this random guy didn't like, and he compared it to pedophilia. In my response I pointed out why these two issues couldn't reasonably be claimed to be related. In his reply, it turned out that he didn't see any connection either. Not beyond the simple... A) These people are arguing for something I don't like. B) If they was arguing for child sex abuse, I wouldn't like it either. C) Thus, it's the same thing. In other words, he did an AbominationAccusationAttack and then backed it up with HitlerAteSugar. ** That would be funny if it weren't actually true. * Accusing someone deleted others posts as being a MoralGuardian works around here.

AbortedDeclarationOfLove * This troper experienced this just a week ago. He'd had a crush on his close and best (female) friend for years, and just as he worked up the nerve to tell her...he bottled it. -->'''Troper:''' Sophie, I love yo...ur dress. Is it new? ** I'd got her the dress for her birthday a year before. She also got distracted and wasn't actually listening to me at the time.

AboveTheInfluence * One [[ChivalrousPervert guy]] I met played it perfectly, amazingly, [[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming wonderfully]] straight and drove me home even though it was forty minutes out of his way, and called the

next morning to see if I was okay. [[ShipsThatPassInTheNight I never saw him again.]] And it wasn't that he wasn't willing, either, he'd got his hands on me before he realised just how smashed I was. * This Troper played it straight. Got invited to a party for homecoming weekend and instead of hitting the gym I decided to go. While I'm there had only one Smirnoff Green Apple and was in general just chilling. While chilling upstairs in my friend's room playing Madden, his cousin strolls in and had obviously had way too many. I lied about wanting to having sex with her, hoping she wouldn't leave and let some other dude take advantage of the situation. Eventually she laid down waiting for me to finish the game and fell asleep. All went well except my friend lost his bed for the night for his cousin to sleep it off and next day she called me to thank me for being so cool. * One of Edgy's finer moments. He was with a female friend of his, that he had a crush on, and they were getting drunk in her room. She passed out so he tucked her into her bed left her with some water to drink and a bucket to puke in and walked back to his own room across campus. ---"Taaakeeee meeee... (hic)" "I'd rather go back to AboveTheInfluence, luv." ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ABoyAGirlAndABaby * This troper's family fits that mold perfectly. My sister is 8 years older than me and my brother is 6 years older. The reason? My parents took a long time to make up their minds about having a third child. I'm rather glad they did. * This troper's cousins are this. Used to be this at least, baby grew up and is a teenager now. ---Go back to [[ABoyAGirlAndABabyFamily A Boy A Girl And A Baby Family]]. ----

AbsentMindedProfessor * My Arabic teacher, while being very talented and passionate about literature (among other things), is a perfect example of this trope. He usually digresses into discussing moral quandaries and Arabic culture. Also, myself (minus the professor, but I've been mockingly described as one from time to time). * This troper heard a literal story from her art professor - he was cutting something with an exacto, saw some friends leaving, said "See you at lunch" ( his exact words) and...long story short, that fingertip didn't grow back. * This troper's English teacher goes off on random tangents that ... have absolutely nothing to do with the topic being discussed. For example, at the beginning of DST, the class (consisting entirely on

16-year-olds) had to spend the next 45 minutes attempting to explain Daylight Savings Time to a man in his late sixties who has lived in a place with Daylight Saving Times for the majority of his life. Another time, about a week later, he spent a full half-hour discussing social etiquette at prom... He also tends to go off on tangents about Mexico. And Arizona. And California... * This troper heard a story of a Catholic school teacher who showed BibleBlack to his students. Things didn't go well. ** Sounds like an overlap with AnimationAgeGhetto * This troper had a teacher in Law School who would trail off midsubject to things like advising his male students to not get involved with any of their clients, specially when handling a divorce case. * [[{{Tropers/DaNuke}} Da_Nuke]]'s integral calculus teacher. Famous around the ITESO for being ''very'' absent-minded. Sometimes it's annoying ("Uhhhh... I think I gave you the wrong formula yesterday!"), but sometimes it's very damn funny ("I used to fix fridges at strip clubs in my first job... and I remember I once gave a stripper my driver's license instead of a bill"). * {{Tropers/Fawriel}} had this image in elementary school already. The professor part could be explained by his intelligence relative to the other kids. The absent-minded part, on the other hand - let's just say he went to school in his pajamas once and leave it at that. * {{Tropers/Bossman}}'s father is a comparative literature professor who's usually pretty aware of what's going on. Unless he's actually working, then good luck trying to get him to actually acknowledge that anything besides him and his work even exists. Tell him anything and he'll go "Uh-huh", but if you ask him what you just said, he won't have a clue what it was. Meals are a real challenge, as you can call him to the table five minutes before anything is actually served and he still won't show up by the time everything's on the table. And expect him to be cranky from low blood sugar when he finally does. ** This troper must be your long-lost cousin or something, because her father is exactly the same, except he's a physics professor. ** Just recently, This Troper's class went to the school library for a portion of the block to do research. She picked up a book on Switzerland and started reading... completely forgetting to go back to class. * My philosophy and logic professor once handed out that semester's final exams - with the correct answers neatly marked. Oops... * My entire college was made up of {{Absent Minded Professor}}s. One of which left the class waiting for him to show up. One member of the class went and got the department secretary. He was in another professor's office, he'd totally forgotten that he had a class that day. If it hadn't been a lab, and if we hadn't been such nerds, we most likely would have left. * I once had a really absent-minded Japanese teacher. She'd forget about homework she had assigned, use the first-year vocabulary flashcards on the higher-level classes multiple times a week and never noticed, forgetting her entire lesson plan (which she attempted to solve by writing down her lesson plan on paper, only to lose her place in it), and so on. * My band director was notorious for this sort of behavior. He is a

''brilliant'' arranger of music, and seems to be the most wellrespected musician in the city, judging by the way other professional musicians act around him. He also frequently forgot what day it was, when practices were held, what songs were being played in the concert, and who exactly was soloing on them. * My Year 10 science teacher was ''very'' absent minded. He may be great at science but when he wrote on the white board, all grammar and spelling goes out the window. Now, I know it's Science, not English, but it gets to the point of HilarityEnsues when all is confusion and lost. His favourite quote: "'''Shut up your mouth!!'''" * My 7 year physics teacher was like this most of the time. He also happened to be a mad scientist at times. * One of [[{{Tropers/CaptHayfever}} my]] math professors is an absolute genius in combinatorics & problem-solving, has written two textbooks & co-authored two others... and is one of the least organized, most confusing, least attentive, & most inconsistent teachers I've ever seen. Since extremely few of his students end up researching combinatorics (& I'm ''not'' one of those extremely few), his value as an educator is... lacking, to put it mildly. * My eighth grade Social Studies teacher borders on this sometimes. Every now and again, he'd be handing out a homework sheet or a study guide for an upcoming test, only to notice that he's handing out a quiz from two weeks ago, but he's fun. ** My 8th grade history teacher would teach things that were only tangentially related to what we were learning because they were interesting, so every quiz we had ended up being at least a week later. * My otherwise adorable history professor. He'd promised to lend me a book, and it took him three tries to remember to bring it with him to work, despite some polite nudging. Then he forgot to leave it where he said he would. * My physics teacher is always forgetting small, important things. For instance five minutes after a demonstration with a strobe light did he remember "Oh by the way, does anyone have epilepsy?" My friends and I have a theory as to an explanation for this. He is the Lord of Physics and is too busy to bother with such trivial things. ** This troper had a similar physics teacher in high school. For one lesson we were testing the resistivity of various materials, including human skin. It wasn't until the lesson was over that he called out "Oh -- nobody had any open wounds did they?" He was also an automotive maintenance teacher, and had been known to leave an exposed motor running (to show an observing class how it worked) in an enclosed shed for several minutes before suddenly explaining the dangers of carbon monoxide. * My first year university physics teacher was... frequently distracted. The way he suddenly derailed mid-lesson to explain his pet gravitational theory that he couldn't teach us officially because it was "forbidden science" was bad enough, but what really takes the cake is how he'd often just stop lecturing to do something like pick up a pen and drop it several times, marveling how gravity worked each time. His notes made no sense either -- they weren't notes for the students to use so much as something to do with his hands. A piece of paper

titled "heat transference" that features a box with some wiggly lines on the side labeled "like dolphins" with 4000K written underneath is not particularly useful without explanation. * I had a guidance counselor that fits this trope to a tee. Examples include, but are not limited to: ** going home to sleep in the middle of a school day and forgetting to tell anyone, which resulted in our whole class waiting for him in front of the classroom for the better part of an hour ** wandering up and down an aisle with a cartload of books, muttering "now where was that class..." ** spending an entire lesson rambling about an odd-looking fish he once caught instead of discussing, say, the application procedures to universities. ** Oh, and he also excused a couple of students from his lesson because "they had to go see the guidance counselor". * My world geography teacher has been giving the same tests for about 13 years. He still hasn't realized that on one of them, he circled the answers on the master test, white-outed those very answers, rewrote the letters, and copied it. Needless to say, everybody except the one idiot who FailedASpotCheck got a 90+ on the test (one section was entirely handwritten in, so some mistakes were made there). * I once had a Physics teacher named Miss Banner (Yes, really) for a first trimester class. When it came time for the second half of the course during the third trimester, I discovered that Miss Banner had been fired during the second trimester. Upon asking around for details, several teachers informed I that she had been fired for coming to class whilst wearing a Star Trek cosplay uniform under her jacket. One of the explanations proffered as to why she was wearing it in the first place was that she "just forgot she had it on." * I once had a teacher who taught both math and science to both seventh and eighth grades. It was not uncommon to have her give us worksheets that were for the other grade, or to give us assignments out of the other grade's books. When we were asked to do, say, problems 30-37 on page 263, it was a pretty safe bet that there were no problems 30-37 on page 263. She once spent an entire science class setting fire to various (non-harmful, I assure you) chemicals to see what colour the flame would be. There have been many occasions when she has stopped mid-lecture to talk about something completely offtopic, such as StarTrek. Another time, there was one student in her class whose personal NightmareFuel was a certain science fiction novel, and the teacher and most of the students in the class were very familiar with the situation. Well, one day in biology she asks, "Has anyone here seen or read Fantastic Voyage?" At this point she notices the student in question, who is pale and looks like she is about ready to run out of the classroom. Prompting the teacher's reply: "Oh my God, I'm so sorry. I totally forgot about that." * [[Tropers/JapaneseTeeth This Troper]] had a teacher in high school who showed up twenty minutes late every day, was completely oblivious to the end-of-class bell (he'd usually go for about 15 minutes unless we pointed it out), constantly lost stuff (up to and including a ''sword''), distracted himself by doodling on the whiteboard (he started trying to draw a map of the U.S. and wound up drawing a

caricature of himself), lets us listen to 18th century drinking songs (and the Beach Boys), and to top it off he completely coated the inside of his classroom with posters and other random stuff, which distracted both himself and the students. Yet the vast majority of the students and other teachers know he's the smartest person in the school. * My current biology professor showed up twenty minutes late for class, just as we were all leaving. Apparently she'd forgotten about daylight savings time which had switched over... four days ago. To add insult to injury that Saturday, she had sent us an email warning us that we better not try to use DST as an excuse to be late to her class! * [[Tropers/{{Agapantha}} This Troper's]] current English teacher likes to do impressions of drama students and tell us all about her childhood and the episodes of TheITCrowd that she's seen... during the tests that she sets us. * My high school maths teacher used to get so caught up in writing and rewriting equations he would erase them off the blackboard with the sleeves of his suit. * My math professor this semester gets distracted and goes off on tangents (no pun intended) and complains about her health while bossing her assistant around. Said assistant is much more focused and better at explaining concepts than the actual professor. * One day the teacher didn't show up to class, so the kids went wandering around the school. "Don't you have class now?" asks the teacher, surprised to see them in the halls. "Um... Yes. With you. " "Oh!" ...And so she came back to class for all of 30 seconds before drifting off again. * I have had several teachers like this. At the moment there's one that often forgets/calls us by the wrong name, and is extremely OCD about leaving exactly on the bell, except, he often can't hear the bell over his shouts at us to sit back down. We always just get up and leave early anyway, ignoring his yelling at us, because we're all so sick at him yelling at us to come back when we're all already halfway down the hall and they bell had rung a minute ago. ** In grade 8 there was one time when a (usually normal) teacher, managed to forget what room we were booked in for. He comes up to me and a few others in the same class at lunch as asks us if we know where we are next lesson. We say no, you didn't tell us last lesson, so he goes to check if we're in the library, the computer labs, SC block or M block. We're not, so after about 20 minutes out looking around for a classroom that was free and that he had the keys to, he just said 'screw that, let's go up to the oval.' So we just played sport/did nothing for the next hour. ** There is also an endless amount of teachers at my school who are hopeless with basic spelling and grammar (even English teachers) and who just love going off on meaningless tangents at any opportunity. * My university is full of {{Absent Minded Professor}}s, but two stick especially close to mind: 1) Manages to make everything about Japan being "wa" (i.e. dwarves) to the Chinese when his subject is Korea and 2) never never NEVER manages to finish his seminar schedule... but when you leave his course you know things you never thought you'd ever

know - from thermodynamics to the practical applications of cottage cheese when you're out of tofu. * My linear algebra professor wore a cordless mike while he lectured. One day he handed out a quiz and left the room. Five minutes later, we heard strange noises coming over the loudspeaker, and sure enough, he was taking a leak with his mike on. And then he burped. * I had a social studies teacher, who had a projector and a large Scerne in his class, when he was not teaching Social studies he had a history of cinema class. The troper got to watch Gone with the Wind, Casablanca, and many other classic films, but that is not the absent minded part - he would sometimes squeeze an off-topic SNL or Youtube short into his lessons. ** I would also like to add, on the last day of school, he let students put music videos up on the board, we had in order "School's out for Summer", "The Wall", and "Thriller". * My quantum mechanics professor could do six-dimensional integrals in his head, but once he solved an equation he'd forget why he wanted the answer in the first place. * My (sadly former now, but I don't know if I'll get her next year) maths teacher was incredible like this. She adored her subject, but that meant she'd go off on bizarre tangents while dictating notes to us, so we ended learning stuff we wouldn't need for like 2 years in addition to what we needed this year. Also, we managed to get her to spend 45 minutes of one lesson telling us her life story and such. And she lets us play Family Fortunes or other games on the board that have nothing to do with maths in the last lesson of term half the time. Despite this, we still finished the syllabus about 3 months early. She was just that good a teacher I guess. * My old French teacher was a favourite of many, mostly because he tended to stop whatever he was teaching to tell stories of his childhood, previous jobs, or that morning's events, usually making fun of everyone in the process. * [[{{Tropers/Nomic}} This Troper's]] high school physics teacher was rather easily distracted, and could easily be provoked into telling about all sorts of stuff he had done in his youth (apparently he had worked as boiler man on a steamboat and as a bouncer in a nightclub). We sometimes took advantage of this when we thought the lecture had been going on for too long. He was also in charge of taking care of the school's computers, and often forgot to tell us if he couldn't get to the class because he had to fix a computer, causing us to sit outside his class for an hour (we eventually made a rule that if he didn't show up in 25 minutes, we'd be free to go sit downstairs where there actually were chairs). * My calculus teacher was this incredibly awesome old lady who would wander into class about ten minutes into the (forty-minute) period, discuss television, news, or some such for another ten or fifteen minutes, then attempt to find her lesson notes. She remembered to check homework on about three occasions over the course of the entire year, and we spent the last month and a half of school playing board games. Somehow, she managed to trick the class into learning enough to survive the AP exam... and has been doing so for years. * My mother has also told stories about two different professors she

had: one, who smoked while teaching, and occasionally would very nearly start to write on the chalkboard with his cigarette or take a drag of his chalk, and another, a foreign languages professor, who knew three or four languages and would often start class in the wrong language. * This troper had a brilliant young adult literature teacher, one of the rare few who like it when students challenge them. This remarkable woman could think of every single thing you needed to know before teaching it and taught us how to defend controversial books in the classroom by showing us how to structure our arguments. She also used a version of MLA format that is not MLA format, lost papers and forgot deadlines regularly, and had an office so full of junk that I is surprised she could traverse it. Oddly enough, this professor, aside from her messy absent-mindedness, reminds this troper of her favorite literature teacher in High School, who always called this troper AbsentMindedProfessor. * My physics professor in his first year at University is probably one of the brightest heads in Germany (Peter Richter, if someone happens to stumble upon him, specializing in Chaos theory but about to retire right now) but happens to one to the lessons pretty much unprepared anytime and having to do all the calculations of various problems in real time (or rather, fast forward, a lesson only got 90 minutes). Anyway, whenever he was done he usually wondered what he was doing it for right now. * My father. One of this Troper's favourite memories was when he came home after class cover in blue dye. He'd been doing a demonstration for his science class and had managed to spill it all over himself. This was during his first class of the day, meaning he'd spent about six hours covered in the stuff. And it didn't wash off completely for about a month. He also wears skirts (sarongs, technically, but he's whiter than sour cream and just likes the feel of them) and once gave a girl a re-test (she'd failed the first test, and was already retaking the course because she'd failed it the first time) with the answers attached. Then it took him an entire day and night to figure out how she'd gotten a hundred percent - despite the fact that after cheating, the girl had been too stupid to get rid of the answer sheet. This troper loves her father very much, but wishes he'd remember her name once in a while. :) * I once had a 6th Class (Grade in America) teacher, who seemed to have an extensive love of history. Irish history, specifically. As a result, he'd often end up being distracted by long tracts about what happened to the Fenians, and other things, usually from his past. We once got him to spend an entire hour doing this, until I pointed out that he was going on a side track.. Cue groans from rest of class. There was also the case of his 3rd Year (9th Grade) History teacher, who was incredibly [[SnarkSnarky]], and once, when he had to come up with a visual aid to help us remember the name of an old Irish newspaper, what did he bring in? A picture of [[StarWars Darth Vader]]. (Note: the paper was named "An Cloicheamh Solais" or "[[LaserBlade "Sword Of Light"]]. * Ugh, I had a science teacher in eighth grade who was practically school wide famous for being absent minded (Hobby Middle School. If

anyone from there happens to go to this page, they will know ''exactly'' who I'm talking about). Hmm, let's see, can barely use computers, can be insulted when you're RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER, and she won't even notice, teaches us about dinosaurs by showing us '''Jurassic Park''', and don't even get me started on PANGAEA! Of course, the other science teacher is a [[CloudCuckoolander Cloud Cuckoolander]], so maybe I was lucky... * It's difficult to keep your attention on a subject after an hour, but unfortunately most lessons this Troper has are two hours long. Most teachers realize that students aren't listening anymore, so they give a small 5-10 minute break in the middle of class. My biochemistry & cell biology teacher used these breaks to go drink some coffee at the student cafeteria on campus, which was 10 minutes away from where we had class. The second part of class usually lasted ten to fifteen minutes. It could be worse, though. A friend of this Troper had class, and during the break the teacher got a call. He left, and didn't return. He has completely forgotten about teaching. * I have had some of these in high school. Music was ten minutes to start, then listening to the song of the week and discussing that, and then watching some video half of the time. Religion was probably even worse, because every single teacher I had for that subject spent more time trailing of then actually teaching, yet somehow they where some of the best teachers I have had. The most absent minded one put on hit-CD's from 10 years ago during tests, talk about the various places he had traveled and what he had done there (although helping in an orphanage might be a somewhat related subject) or explain his various theories on life and people. Yet another one was a Dutch teacher, talking about the skull in his basement (his house was build on a medieval burial ground, which they found out once they dug the basement) or spend entire lessons on reading all the mistakes of previous tests to the class, and still he taught us much more then we needed to learn that year... * This troper had a philosophy professor who was a truly brilliant mind, with an incredible knowledge of his subject and a gift for lecturing. However, he often forgot to come to class. It got to the point where students would take bets over when, if ever, he would show up. * My piano teacher can be a lot like this. Sometimes I'll catch him eating crackers and playing with his iPhone instead of telling me what I'm doing wrong. Sometimes he'll start talking about something else instead of teaching me, so we end up having conversations about the SAW movies, cameras that look like sci-fi gadgets and how the girl in the other room can't sing. He's a great teacher however, and lots of fun. * My Japanese class used to wait around in the lobby of the class building, looking out across the commons. Nine times out of ten, as the clock was chiming for class to begin, we would watch the professor leave his office and dash across the grass, papers flying and coat flapping behind him. This same professor was once caught typing up a five page long mid-term examination the ''hour'' before we were supposed to take it. He also, several times, ''forgot'' about class and later emailed apologizing.

* My rabbi, though not really a teacher or professor in the normal sense (though 'rabbi' derives from an old form meaning teacher, so, yeah, fits this trope to a tee. * My Physics I teacher. He can easily wander through many subjects, and lose track of what he was doing. Also, his Digital Electronics teacher, though in a BAD way: he managed to lose a sheet where I put an answer to an exam question, thus making me lose 2 points. :( * My Chemistry teacher is famous for it. She has a habit of starting at point A and rambling on about anything (I do mean anything) for about 70 minutes and then has to be reminded what she was talking about. * My World Studies teacher is like this, and somewhat disliked for it. While taking notes, he'll bring up a story as a comparison, completely going off on another tangent for a few minutes before getting back to the notes. He himself hung a lampshade on it when he said in mid-story "How did we get to this point? Seriously, why am I talking about this?" * This troper's father, who has several degrees in math and took university physics for fun, has been known to stop for gas, resting his coffee cup on the roof of his car, and then drive away with it still there. He is also (usually) unable to remember her birthday or age. * My secondary school chemistry teacher was a great example of this trope. One day, he received new chemical supplies from the school board and decided to show us an experiment he hadn't done in some twenty years. The three chemicals were supposed to react and give off a toxic purple gas, so we all marched outside and stood ten meters upwind of the tiny saucer while the components were mixed... only the reaction failed to occur. So we all march back inside and teacher starts to rinse out the saucer at the sink when it starts reacting violently and we had to evacuate the whole block. Turns out he'd forgotten that water was the catalyst! * My Calculus teacher. He will easily wander off from what he was doing (e.g. solving a large and complicated differential equation, or a triple integral) to speak on what he did last night, the last movie he watched, or comment on how he "didn't need to lock the windows on his 14th floor apartment", as "if a thief broke through the window, I would just give away all that the thief wanted" (real example, happened last Friday). Also I once screamed '42!!!!' as the answer for a problem, and he got the joke (but that's more into [[CoolTeacher Cool Teacher]] realm). * My history teacher is really good at teaching, but she constantly forgets everything except for history itself. It's okay when she just confuses the days of the week or confuses us with other classes, but it gets annoying when she forgets our names and makes up completely unrelated or absurd nicknames. And even when she doesn't, she calls all the blond students (aka. half of the class) 'the blond one over there'. One time she forgot to bring our exam sheets, so we wrote in a week later. * This troper has a teacher (which is freaking awesome) that is extremely absent-minded. His favorite Driver's Ed movie raps about the places you're not supposed to be around a big truck, and he teaches

several computer classes, by giving us a list of assignments and wandering around once a week. This troper's mother was beginning to wonder what he actually /did/ at the school, since he was always in the hallway when she came to pick me up for some reason or another. Last week, he wandered in and gave us popscicles. * [[Tropers/MattyChanHazel My]] grandfather. Poofy white hair, tinkers around in his workshop all of the time, really smart, has very bad hearing and keeps forgetting things. * My school is made up of them. For starters we used to have a Physics teacher who was also the football couch (which is a trope of its own) who would not teach you anything in his class, a current History Teacher who doesn't use the text book, but instead shows very offtopic Movies and rambles about the JFK assassination, a former history teacher who also showed movies, but where on topic but most of them where R-rated,a current English Teacher who acts very strange when she drinks a cup of coffee, then again her current principal used to be the typing teacher. * My Teacher once started their English class telling a story about running into the [[BuffySpeak drivethrough banking...thing.]] One student next to her said,"I can top that." We spent the hour telling stories about car accidents. And he let us. * Friend-of-a-friend story, so take it with a grain of salt, but at Fermilab several years ago this FOAF was working admin for the design team on a new satellite communications array -- obsolete now with the direction the tech went, but brilliant in its own way -- and she'd assembled a dozen or so guys who fit this trope together to work on it. She was at the reception desk one day when one of them came out of the room. He walked up to her, holding a pen as though he was using it to point at something, and says "it doesn't work." "What, the pen?" He nods. "No problem," she says, "we've got a whole closet full of office supplies over here." She walks him over and opens it up for him. Like a kid in a candy store, he grabs a handful of pens, still holding the dud in his other hand, and stuffs them in his pocket. He starts heading back into the room. He pauses about halfway there, points at her with the dud pen and informs her, "you're the BEST." * There's a saying at {{Tropers/MsChibi}}'s college: Asking a science major (or professor) to remember stuff is, while not asking the impossible, usually asking a lot. The reason being because such students and professors tend to have a lot of stuff on their minds. This trope is also the nickname for this troper's father (a chemistry professor at another school), who is awesome but does tend to forget stuff unless you constantly remind him or write it down. And now you know where [[{{Tropers/MsChibi}} she]] got it from! * My turn: In high school, I took a AP Chem (and basic Chem) class with an AMP teacher. I have a list of stories. ** She makes us sign a 8 page safety contract at the start of class. She constantly breaks the rules of her own contract to scary results. She was practicing an experiment and forgot if she used a stirring rod. She proceeded to use it anyway. (Rule: Never use something unless you know its clean.) This cause a reaction involving Silver Nitrate and Ammonia Sulfate (I think...) which then... sort of exploded... It basically heated the beaker it was in to such a high temperature and

so quickly the beaker shattered with great force. And the beaker's bottom melted the heat proof lab table (durable up until 600F). She luckily was doing the experiment in a ventilated fume chamber and was protected by the shielding. ** She lit a rope on fire and was spinning it to show the effect of a light source appearing as a solid object when moving fast enough. Problem is... she did this experiment 4 times with the same rope. The fourth time it burned through and flung fire everywhere and set her work papers on fire. She then grabbed the nearest beaker (Rule: Never use an unknown chemical without first checking to see what it is) full of the alcohol used to soak the rope and used it to "douse" the fire! Luckily, one of the students remembered to stay calm and use a fire extinguisher. ** My class got her off on tangents during the regular Chem class. Once we got her off topic by pretending to be worried about college. She was off topic for two days. ** She accidentally caught the wall on fire twice with a screaming flaming gummy bear experiment. She adjusted the chemicals to make it more interesting. (Rule: Follow the lab directions, don't make changes or skip steps.) Problem was she mixed the chemicals ahead of time and forgot that she had already lit the wall on fire earlier. ** She once lost my AP Chem class's final tests. Funnily enough, we found them... in the first place she looked for them! She had forgotten to warn us about the test ahead of time! (It wasn't a pop quiz, she decided to give us the final a week ahead of time!) It turned out the highest grad was me with a C and the lowest was a 30% F. My six fellow classmates and I decided to burn the papers, (the teacher went down to her car to look for the tests there) because she promised us if she ever lost a test it would be considered an instant 100%. We all gave our tests to the guy with the lowest score and he burned them. We got all As. Exactly as planned. ** The year after I graduated I heard one final story from my sister. Apparently, the week before school starts they have a teacher prep day. The teacher then plugged up the sink and filled it with water to soak some beakers. She then left school forgetting to turn the water off. One the day before school started, the janitor went into the copy room to check to see if the machines had enough supplies. He found the room completely drenched and the copiers were ruined. He went upstairs to find the water still running and half the floor covered in water. The water was running for three or four days... and had caused all kinds of havoc in the mean time without nobody noticing. * My granddad, "Dadda". He fits the trope to a T. He even has glasses and poofy white hair! * This troper's Classics teacher fits this to a tee. Brilliant at his subject, teaches us things that aren't on the syllabus just because "this is really interesting!", often goes off on tangents, most recently jumping from Achilles cursing the Greeks to how he [the teacher] used to be ginger. He's also apparently lost his glasses multiple times and once woke up thinking his eyesight had been magically healed overnight, before remembering he was wearing contacts. This troper wouldn't have anyone else for the world. * I had a weird Math/Science teacher when I was in sixth grade. He

would be teaching math, then he would start with bizarre stories involving random things such as email addresses and pencil graphite. We barely learned any science at all. He was the reason I decided to transfer schools the next year. * Oh boy... {{Tropers/endlessness}} has two of those. His Electromagnetism teacher, which is an inventor-type (he does research on electric cars and often has to create some stuff from scratch), will easily deviate from what he's doing and start talking about something random. His Electric Circuits teacher will suddenly turn the class into his soapbox: a rare male example of Soapbox Sadie. * This troper had an English teacher who can only be described as the lovechild of {{Lady Gaga}} and {{Glee}}'s Sue Sylvester. As a [[BunnyEarsLawyer Bunny Ears Teacher]] however, it did not detract from her teaching ability. Later, in university, one of my politics professors was the living embodiment of this trope, often diverging from the day's topic to rant about this or that, or kindly grill foreign students on their countries. * My twelfth grade maths teacher was a lot like this. Readily acknowledged as the brightest mind in the school (we tried to test him, making him do the most complicated problems we could think of in his head. He always got it.), he spent all of his lessons telling us how maths was based on unsound principles and that any theory in the world could be proven by the phrase 'the moon is made of cheese". Once, I was found by him skipping class in the mall, and instead of reporting me, he offered me a cigarette and we talked about science fiction for an hour. * This troper's college American Literature teacher was giving a demonstration on how to use the media search on the library online catalog, so she typed in two random subjects, in this case "animal symbolism" and "William Faulkner", expecting that nothing really would come up. Instead, it came back with 20 published articles, including several with titles such as "Animal Farmacology in As I Lay Dying". Our teacher spent the next 10 minutes skimming through several of these and giggling. * This troper's college Chemistry professor. He opened an output file to show us and at the end of the meeting, we were closing windows and he was staring at the screen and asked "Whose output file is that?". The entire lab answered unanimously "Yours." And his response? "Oh is it?". Note this happened within 30 minutes. * When this troper was in the sixth grade, her English teacher was forgetful like you wouldn't believe. Extremely unorganized to start with, then naturally absent-minded on top of that. She would forget when she assigned things, or if she even assigned them at all, which would sometimes work to our advantage in that we could get away without doing our work sometimes, but other times, she would insist that some random project was due Monday, when it was in fact due Wednesday, and then a debate would get going. She would insist that she was right despite the unanimous (and I would like to point out that this was an advanced class with kids who were more than willing to rat others out as long as they themselves had finished the assignment) cries of "No, you didn't do that!" from the class. At last, she would usually say, "Fine, since I 'forgot' to assign it,

then you have until Friday to do it," even though it was a grueling month-long thing. Other than that, she was very nice and friendly, and I was willing to cut her some slack because this was her first year. However, when I became her student aide two years later, I discovered that she had not changed a bit, only now, I was able to look on with amusement and occasionally give the class some credibility in the aforementioned debates. It took a second year observing her teaching methods to appreciate how disorganized she really was. Filing her papers was a nightmare. ** And in one CrowningMomentOfFunny anecdote, two sixth grade girls (one of whom was my former best friend) once went around the class asking people what a scapula was. Since everyone either didn't know or pretended not to know, one of them finally got the bright idea of "Hey, let's ask the teacher!" When asked, she paused for a minute, thinking, and then answered, "It's one of those flat metal things that you flip food with." My mother's first impulse was to pull me out of the class after hearing this (which she never did), at least when she stopped laughing. * Most, if not all, of This Troper's teachers since sixth grade have been this to some degree. Just give them a poke in the right direction and they'll start talking about something totally unrelated. Some interesting topics include deformations, ghosts, and whether or not plants can get cancer. * This Troper, as a teacher-in-training, is already on his way to this. The school I'm training in this year is big to be fair, but I still get lost far too easily when looking for the staff room. I'll also go off on tangents in class fueled by students asking completely unrelated questions. * My eighth grade social studies teacher was like this. One time we were doing a Power Point discussion about King George and the American Revolution. We started with King George and ended with nuclear warfare. I... don't... know... how... just... no. ** The same troper as above's sixth grade orchestra teacher was the trope. Once my friend and I were going to our our lessons as we did (the class was on Wednesdays) and we found that our teacher was not there. After a good 35 minutes of looking for him, we decided to go back to our writing class. When we saw him the next week, it turned out he forgot about us and went to do some errands. And then there was the time he was telling my friend and I how to make our duet better. He said, "So if you add more weight to the bow-- *looks up*-- OMG A WASP!" The door was open because it was a nice day. I believe this is how he constantly injures himself in the winter... ---...Oh, right! I'm supposed to link back to AbsentMindedProfessor. ---<<|TroperTales|>>


AbsurdlyPowerfulStudentCouncil * [[{{EPIC}} This troper]]'s student council isn't really that powerful, but they're just powerful. They're capable of holding two parties a year, and interrogating those who have been stealing air-con knobs for the past few weeks. * Real life example: I served on my school's Student Faculty Administration, which acted as my school's legislature, with our only limitations being a rarely used veto power by the principal and the fact that we were about as productive as a real legislature. Among the things we passed in my senior year was a bill that allows students who take AP tests to take excused absences for the whole day, which the principal had to veto and institute as unofficial policy because it might have caused some students not to meet '''state requirements''' for minimum class hours per year. That's right, we overruled state regulations. * Possible example: The Pail and Shovel Party, a University of Wisconsin-Madison student body governing group, promised to bring the Statue of Liberty to campus if elected. They did, in a manner; the head and torch of a full-scale replica of the Statue of Liberty soon protruded through the ice of Lake Mendota. It fell during shipping, they claimed. One of the two leaders went on to help write the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000. * Here in Guadalajara, Mexico, we have the FEU (University Students Federation), the public university's student council. You know when someone knows the people inside when they pass all their subjects with top honors after arriving drunk to every single class, when they have ''zero'' absences after not showing up at every single class, when they turn in a blatantly ghostwritten thesis and get away with it, and [[Main/KarmaHoudini when they manage to get away with beating someone to a pulp]] ''inside the campus''. Piss them off, and your only chance of getting your degree will be at one of the Jesuit universities, known for being like Switzerland: [[TrueNeutral Neutral Neutral]], open to everyone and anyone. Those who manage to enter the student council ''somehow'' manage to live like millionaires despite coming from a medium-class family -- now imagine where they get their gold from, IfYouKnowWhatIMean -- and by the time they get their degree, they often end up as prominent members of the ruling political parties. Now imagine how Mexican politicians are... * In the midst of a controversy over using "We Are The Champions" by Queen as a high school graduation song, some of our student body decided to adopt a spirit of solidarity and nominated the song as our graduation song, too. It won the vote handily. Our student council then quietly ignored the vote and adopted "End of the Road" by Boys II Men. * University students in Quebec are unionized, so that the first day of class involves negotiating a contract with the professor - what exactly will be taught, when the exams fall, how much they'll be worth, etc - and having both parties signing off on it. From that point nobody can make changes to the syllabus without both sides signing off on the changes. 90% of the students just sign the syllabus they're handed, but a small core of politically active students takes

this very seriously. In the past five years students have gone on strike 3 times demanding tuition cuts, shutting down the universities entirely for a large part of the semester because professors are not legally allowed to teach anyone who shows up. The strike votes always pass with a ridiculously small turnout because only Political Science students - exactly the kinds of people who get elected to Student Council - bother to show up to the meetings. * In Brazil, the student councils only have that power in the Universities, but somewhat of a subversion happens when in Elementary, Middle and High, the school's more popular students always get chosen for this, since they have such power to make even school principals not believe in someone, if they want. Oh, boy, they ''have''. * When this troper was at A&M, every dorm had a hall council and everyone living on campus that wasn't in the Corps of Cadets was a part of the RHA. The end result was that the hall councils had a ridiculous amount of power by being able to bring or discourage students from going to major events. ** In many colleges, RHAs and their analogs have significant amounts of power. This troper has been on two RHA committees relating to University Housing Policy--one for transgender housing policies and one for health and safety inspections. The latter committee included RHA's advisor, and actually got the housing office to adopt their protocol. The president of My RHA also meets regularly with the University President to discuss concerns. My school RHA is funded by a leadership fee paid by every on campus resident, which gives our RHA thousands of dollars to put into leadership conferences and on-campus events. * Real Life Example: At my school, [[ the Sudbury Valley School]] in Framingham, MA, day to day disciplinary matters are handled by a Judicial Committee run by two student clerks and five students serving in a capacity similar to Jury Duty, with only one member of the school's adult staff as the sixth member on any given day. All major disciplinary matters (such as suspensions and expulsions) and the overall running of the school is handled by a weekly school meeting, run in the format of a traditional New England town hall meeting, where the students have as much voting power as the staff, the chairman for which is always a student (who even signs the staff's paychecks). And at the end of every school year, the staff, who aren't contractually guaranteed more than one year of employment at a time, have to go up for election as to whether or not their contract will be renewed the next year, which only the students can vote in. ** Aw, reading this just warms my bones. Also, I want to point out that I was wrong about one thing (at least at the school in Framingham): The School Meeting Chairman signs the staff's contracts, not their paychecks. Still a huge responsibility, though. * In New Zealand, all university students pay student union membership dues with their fees, and membership in the Student Union is compulsory. Yes, compulsory. No matter how stupid the union is. No matter if you're on a satellite campus and unable to attend (and therefore vote in) union meetings, and have no access to most of the facilities your dues are supposedly paying for. Even if your

'representatives' (which you didn't actually vote for, as you weren't a student the previous year, when the election was held) deface the university's works of art, use part of their operating budget to call psychic hotlines, or get drunk and urinate in the street (all real examples from just one year of a particular group's misrule)... you still have to pay your dues. I really resented it. * In California's public universities, membership in the local student union is all but compulsory, and is even assessed out of one's fees. Our student government, however, runs things pretty decently. * My high school elects a 'class council' every year, which includes the Monitor, Asst. Monitor, and five or six prefects. They are in charge of everything, including class fees, class decoration, and class parties. This troper vividly remembers how our class, 2B, is pitted against 2U in everything... just because the Monitors don't like each other. * While not quite a council, the class reps in My college....well, they can organise a party for their class and are given tokens which can be exchanged for free alcohol. That's power from where this troper is sitting. * My high school student council is a subversion: their only real power is planning student activities such as rallies and school dances. He should know; he was on it himself for a year, as the class secretary and treasurer. Also, the class president was BrilliantButLazy. * This troper wishes the school council he was part of was powerful, maybe we could have stopped our school from being closed. * My school council is pretty powerful; we've managed to convince the governors to organize for an entire new school building to be built because no one likes the current ones. Sadly, we can't change the teachers' minds on the one thing we think matters; here, girls can't wear trousers. At all. Even if it's freezing cold. That's right, the teachers will have a new school built, install hot chocolate machines and make it so that no one has to take languages for a GCSE subject, but they won't let us wear trousers. * ABSOLUTELY PLAYED STRAIGHT in my old school. Put simply, politics were quite a big deal, bigger than usual. We had student parties, from the Democrats to the Republicans to the Student's Rights... and also the Greens-Animal Rights, Marxist, Stalinist, Socialist Zionist, Indian-Pakistani Alliance (about half the school was from India), and School Pride (Fascist). There was a miniature 'parliament', with the homeroom electing two members to the lower house and one to the higher one. There were intercom debates before class, and a school assembly every month. Entering Junior year, the Democrats and Republicans naturally had a choke hold on most things. Through some good oldfashioned chessmastery, a few of us made those two parties *disband*, paving the way for a multiple party congress. I was elected to Treasurer running on School Pride, endorsed by Socialist Zionist and Greens, opposed by everyone else. Senior year, I narrowly lost President to an IPA, but took Foreign Delegate Secretary in return for not making my party FILIBUSTER EVERY BILL... we just filibustered most of them, in return for abolishing the Marxist and Stalinist parties and permanently removing their chairs from the Council... yeah... We

had fun... ** As for duties, we were originally responsible for almost nothing besides dances, but I wanted to see how much of a chessmaster I was, so I made us responsible for things like the morning announcements (to be done by a School Prider- no way he can add bias), or maybe putting up posters (a few got lost somewhere, weird...), and painting the hallways instead of the art class (it just so happened the art club was 100% Indian-Pakistani, the main opposition...). Of course, all this was expensive, so as treasurer, I had to cut funds on things that weren't as important, or request more funds. I did both, cutting on things like the art projects, thus disbanding the art club, and forcing other organizations to fine people every month to stay open. Just not the School Pride one. So yeah... Sadly, my party also ticked off the LGBT Alliance, even though I personally, being a member, prevented a formal opposition. This caused them to complain to the Greens, which instead sided with the IPA... Causing my defeat. Yeah. Shit was real. * The student council at [[{{MiraShio}} I]]'s school just seems to be getting more powerful each year. * While not technically student council in my junior high school and high school (they were in the same complex but on different campuses) there was court, parliament and school councils - consisting of, equally, students, teachers (technically - members of stuff) and parents (in council and parliament there are much smaller number of graduate as well). The court have the power (an I know about the case to have it executed) to overrule the punishment imposed by school director, council have the power to vote of no confidence for the director and in one of the schools in complex there was group of students which wanted to do it (although it was overruled by parents and teachers). So it is somehow play straight as the government have power and subverted as one of prime ministers (i.e. head of school council) was convicted at least once by the school court and it is not technically student-only. * Subverted with My Student Council and played straight with his class office. I was a member of my Student Council (school wide) and my Class Office (class wide only). Student Council was almost comically powerless, but Class Office was what you made of it, and we consolidated more and more power every year. By the time we graduated, my fellow class officers and I were sitting in with the principal and superintendent, dissolving dance committees (ineffective and wasteful), and imposing our will in general. It would have been a problem were it not for the fact that we raised a ton of money by graduation. * Real life example: My university's student government (SGA) has control over the money that goes to the student organizations. We're talking a quarter of a million dollars, here. The president of the SGA decided he wanted to be the, I dunno, [[AGodAmI god of the university]], and somehow managed to fire most of the senate and replace it with his cronies, as well as rewrite the constitution to make it legal to do so. After that, he started declaring various organizations ineligible to receive funds. Professionals from the Student Government Association of America had to be called in to sort

it out. * My faculty. full time. To explain a bit, there's one representative per class and one per career (and yeah, a student can be BOTH), each elected by their own class/career, which forms the General Council of Representatives. below them is the Student Coucil, who manages the student's funds(scholarship funds, etc.), all Student Coucil members get scholarships and free food from the cafeteria, get to call Council of Reps meetings and yeah, organize school festivals. They can also help fund trips out of town as long as it's school related, if you know who to sweet talk you can get many other benefits. though it was a VERY big deal when the last Student Council President (and the one before him) was caught stealing funds, finally being expelled from the UNIVERSITY. * Is student council has a choke-hold on school politics/events/and everything else that I would bother to care about. As a freshman it was known pretty well throughout the school the student council was more powerful than the administration, and that if we had a judiciary branch, the school would become more and more like our good old government. They run everything, the only thing they don't control is the damned standards and the financial bureaucracy that the school goes through to get funding. Hell, the students fear the STUDENT COUNCIL REPRESENTATIVE, NOT THE PRINCIPAL! God help our lives if we had parties. * My school has no student council, but each class has two representatives. Those two can decide exactly what to do with the money the class gets, even though said money is actually for field trips. They can decide to open a shop in the school's lobby, change the time when their class gets food in the cafeteria, and last year the representatives of my class made the school change our Russian teacher. ** The above troper is here again after a year. She just found out that there IS a student council, consisting of the two representatives of every class, who have their own three representatives. Turns out that they changed the dates of some holidays (the ones that the school is supposed to decide on), lenght of the brakes, pretty much everything about the school festival, and almost got us new sport equipment (the "almost" is because the education ministry didn't want to give our school the money). Apearantly, we never hear of them because only those three students are allowed to decide. * Completely subverted at My high school. Not only was he Student Counselor representing his high school in the University's so-called "Honorable Counsel" (which itself was powerless to the rector and a few committees), but since his President did nothing, was the only one who showed up at the Student Activities meetings held at the rectory, and was the only one who seemed to be interested in getting new things done. Despite being on a first-name basis with the principal and being friends with said principal's daughter, the only thing he got to do was organize the Miss High School Pageant. With much help from classmates, of course. Any other notion, suggestion, or issue discussed with the principal (and that was jumping over several teachers' heads, to their annoyance and quite honestly my pleasure), they were usually shot down for not being 'priorities' (i.e. part of

the 'ruling faction' of teachers' agenda). Not even ideas pushed by the Student Activities department themselves. That said, when I saw a limo drive up to the events hall and a fashion designer step out of it with one of his classmates (she got the designer to be on the judge's panel), that was quite a proud moment. I dare not say "played straight", since as the actual student counsel we had pretty much no authority whatsoever, but individually, I did eat with teachers during recesses (ordering their food through their window at the cafeteria), and got coffee from the teacher's lounge; barely did homework and never took notes. I think that was more a result of being on good terms with the teachers, though. * At My parents' high school, in the 1940s, the principal barred student council candidates from doing anything remotely amusing or creative for their speeches (he even stopped one candidate from [[LampshadeHanging standing on a soapbox]]). In response, the council, and other disaffected students, called an immediate general student strike (much like in ''TheSimpsons'' episode "The President Wore Pearls"), which got media coverage and embarrassed the principal into meeting with the student council and making concessions on the issue. * My Class Officers are ineffectual. This is because the only people seemingly allowed to run are in an ASB class. All they seem to have power over is designing t-shirts and deciding on school dances. However, it is feasible they could seize more power if they tried. (Our principal doesn't actually do anything. The school is verging on anarchy behind the scenes). * The student council at my school actually has power over the budgets some clubs and school organizations have, and I'm convinced that they actually run the entire government, considering how diabolical some of them are. * At my school, the Associated Student Body (ASB) has a pretty decent amount of power. They decide on the school's dances, where to allocate funds, football issues, and most importantly, decide the ultimate fate of certain clubs. Of course, since ASB is run by a bunch of complete jerkasses, they only ever do anything for their own gain. For homecoming, they've begun the trend of making every club create a float to march in a parade, or else they aren't legally considered to be a club. They also organized a fundraiser for every club, where they made every club pay a huge fee to sell items AND were obligated to take 10-15 percent of our funds. Not only this, but we have to give them the money to "store" to begin with, and usually they just end up embezzling the clubs' funds anyways. Speaking of which, transferring funds or setting up events takes MONTHS to occur, so most of us don't even bother with consulting ASB for anything like that. Also, they themselves are able to sell food/drinks EVERY SINGLE DAY after school, whereas every other club (and sport) has to go through a convoluted 3week-long process to reserve a day to sell anything, which can't be the same product as ASB. So basically our school government is a giant corrupt bureaucracy. * [[{{musicmage4114}} This troper's]] college has the student government, which has paid positions and controls a $700,000-a-year budget. Organizations and clubs within that have smaller, but still substantial, budgets that can contain thousands of dollars. The

government is run exactly like a mini version of the federal government, with senate and executive divisions, and the school's policy can be and is revised on a yearly, if not monthly, basis by this organization with little to no input from the school administration. * Well, 2 years ago, we had a normal Student Council amd a {{Jerkass}} principal. (e.g. our school, was the only one who never got a snow day, even if all other schools in town were closed... Our principal lived right next to school, so he could come and so we all had to come. Even if that meant ''wading'' through half a meter high snow.) We didn`t pass a day without getting annoyed by one of his dim-witted decisions. And then the day came, when he made it impossible choose PE as an A-level, by claiming not enough people were interested (There were 20 people interested in the PE course, while there were only 8 people interested in french. The French course however was ''not'' rejected) Now our student-council took action: first it complained to the guidance counselor, then to the parent`s council, [[GettingCrapPastTheRadar then they published an article in our school magazine]]... And then they wrote a reader`s letter to the local newspaper. It was published. The chairman of the parents`s council read it and wrote a reader`s letter himself. They both were relatively polite, neutral statements, but the message was clear: This pricipal gives a shit about the opinions of his students. After this articles were published, the situation at our school drastically changed: the student and the parents` council still only have the right to suggest things, but these are ''always'' accepted. Plus we get snow days^^ * One of my 5th grade students was recently inconsolable after the SC debates because her opponent from the other class had promised extended recess and a big screen TV in the cafeteria, whereas she would only offer small, realistic goals. I assured her that the students knew what was doable, and therefore knew which of them could be trusted. Thankfully I was right. ---Hey, freshman, go back to AbsurdlyPowerfulStudentCouncil... if you know what's good for you! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AbsurdlyYouthfulMother * My Mom is 55 years old. Her two sisters are younger, in their late 40's/early 50's. Guess who looks the youngest? She looks about 20 years younger than them: She could be mistaken for 45, while her sisters could be mistaken for 60. * More of a "only looks like no age difference" thing. This Troper's father is 19 years older than him, certainly a relatively small difference by the standards of today. However, where it gets even worse is that This Troper's father has always looked many years younger than he really is, and This Troper has always looked many years older. We both also have pretty much the exact same voice and manner of speaking, and look pretty much identical except for a

difference in height, hair color, and eye color. Everywhere we go, people think we're brothers, or even fraternal twins. Whenever one of us picks up the phone, the caller assumes it's the other person. To make it worse, This Troper's stepmother is 12 years older than This Troper, while we're not mistaken for each other over the phone, I'm always getting asked (quite seriously) about my older sister when people see us together. * This troper has a 15 year old friend whose step-mother looks about 25 (we're not sure about her actual age). Whenever he mentions his mum, we all start talking about what a MILF she is. He got so annoyed from us doing this, in an exercise in drama where we were meant to get angry, he raged about "Don't! You! Ever! Screw! My! Mum! Again!". Needless to say, we've never mentioned it again. * My mother had me in her twenties, but people still mistake her for my sister. * My mother-in-law went through this. She was still getting carded for alcohol at the age of ''thirty-seven'', and when my husband started getting to be a teenager she got some very weird looks, since she looked so young to have a son that age. * [[Tropers/SquealingSandry This Troper's]] ex-best-friend's mother looked ''younger than her children''. When I was 12 (and admittedly a bit of a CloudCuckoolander at the time), I asked her how old she was. She told me to guess. I said 16. [[FridgeLogic Her oldest daughter at the time was 23]]. She is now almost 60 and can pass as late thirties with ease. * [[Contributors/{{Muse}} This troper's]] mother keeps her age very well. She's in her mid-40's and can easily pass for middle 30's. * This troper's Mom is 41, and still gets carded everytime. Her and this troper are often mistaken for sisters. This troper will be asked about her 'older sister', and said troper always responds, "My older sister is dead. That's my mom". It doesn't help that this troper's younger sister looks older than me, so this troper is always thought to be the youngest of three 'sisters'. * This Troper no longer finds it funny when her mother acts like she's sixteen, sounds like she's sixteen, and is mistaken for sixteen. Makes it worse when her friends think it's not her mother but her older sister and mistake her father as the boyfriend. * [[{{Tropers/TehNubkilr}} This Troper's]] mom was mistaken for his older sister a couple of times. * A more literal example of this trope was a woman this troper once worked with. She grew up in the backwoods of Tennessee, and had her first child at 14, and her second at 15. (No, her name was ''not'' Loretta Lynn.) She found it infinitely exasperating when one of her boys would act up in school, and she would go to talk to the teacher. "No, no, dear, we need to speak to his ''mother'', not his sister..." * This troper has met quite a few, including some who started as early as 16. Also, my aunt's older adopted daughter was born when she was only 17. The adoptee herself still looks absurdly youthful at 40, and has four kids; the oldest is 20, and the youngest is 11. * Happened with this troper's grandmother. She's 71, this troper's mother is 55. They were mistaken for sisters for as long as I can remember. This troper averts this, however, as he's only 21. His

mother is one of the oldest among the people he knows. * My parents ''both'' look like this, being nearly fifty and routinely mistaken for twenty-somethings. She's had the 'older sister' thing with her mum a lot, but the most bizarre example was when her dad was assumed to be her real older sister's boyfriend-- ''in the fifth grade.'' * This Troper is 40 years old, but looks younger, especially when he's freshly shaved his facial hair. As early as three years ago, he got asked for an ID to get into a rated R movie. He showed the top of his head to the cashier, who promptly let him in. While male-pattern baldness can start young, you almost never lose THAT much hair THAT young. * This troper mistook a friend's mother for his sister. * My mother is 41 and I'm 19. Many have fooled themselves into thinking she's my 20something sister. She even acts like a 20something in several ways. * Funny conversation: I was chatting with a webcam, and my mother walked into the room. She said hi to the conversational partner, and the subject of her age came up, to which the other person had to guess. She guessed 27, despite knowing that I was 18 at the time. Laughs were had. * Both my parents are this. My Dad is 60 and my Mum is 59. Both of them look in their early 40's. Whenever my friends ask how old my parents are, they're always surprised when I tell them. One time at my Mum's work, I was there and one of her customers came in and mistook me for my Mum's younger sister, not daughter (I'm 23, but I look about 16 or 17). I'm very glad that they look so young as that means I'll look young too when I get to their age! * My mother had me when she was 26, but was often mistaken for being a teen mother. Even now people will insist I'm kidding when I say she's my mom and not my sister. Guesses as to her age otherwise range from 20 - 25 (she's 43.) * My mother is in her fifties but looks young for her age, despite wearing very little makeup, and is very petite. Once when my brother was driving our car, I was in the front and my mom was in the backseat, we ran into a guy who suddenly stopped in front of us. None of us were injured, and it wasn't my brother's fault, but when the police arrived, they saw two teenagers up front, and immediately turned to me and pointed to my mom with an accusatory "How old is she?" I told him she was our mother. * This troper's mother was 19 when her oldest child (the troper) was born. When the troper was 16, Mom came home from work in a sour mood. Turns out that her coworkers thought she was ten years younger than she actually was, "until they found out about you!" * My cousin is 24. She has a five year old and a one year old. She has two step kids, eight and fourteen. She lets most of the eight year old's friend's parents believe her to be in her mid-30s. Its just easier that way. * This troper was born when her mother was 20. Now she [the troper] is 22, and they are often confused for each other-- does this mean I can expect to age well, or am I [[{{YoungerThanTheyLook}} younger than I look]]?

* Let me put it this way. My (divorced) father and I independently started dating a pair of sisters. * This troper's mom was mistaken as her big sister or her aunt. I am 15 years old and my mom is 23 years older than me. * This troper is currently 22 and his mother is 45, but looks closer to early 30s.. This troper's mother has been mistaken at times to be his sister or girlfriend. * This troper's mother is 38 and was 21 when said troper was born. She got asked for ID buying alcohol in the supermarket a few months ago because the checkout person thought this troper was her sister. (And when this troper goes to barbecues with her parents' workmates, the workmates' children are generally under five. This troper usually sits awkwardly by the food table at these things with equally out-of-place brother, eating anything within reach and later being told off for being a pig. Hey, there's not much else to do.) * This troper's mother had her at around age 30, but she almost looks younger than that now. She says she hates how people immediately think UnfortunateImplications when they find out that I'm her daughter, not her sister. * My mother had me (her oldest child) at age twenty. She's currently 40, but looks to be in her early thirties. Whenever we go places a ''lot'' of people assume she's my older sister. * An old girlfriend has just turned 50 and she still gets asked for ID when purchasing alcohol (this is in the UK where purchase age is 18 and challenge age is 25). I'm in my mid-40s and was offered a student discount for my driving lessons last year. * This Troper's mom is like this; she's turning 47 this year and she looks more like she's in her mid 30's. Since this troper is in high school but [[YoungerThanTheyLook looks and acts like she's in her late 20's]], they are often mistaken for sisters or cousins. Since said mom also has another daughter (troper's half-sister) who is seventeen years younger than this troper (no siblings in between), it results in some confusion when they go out. The typical mix-up is that the troper is an aunt or a babysitter. * This Troper is sixteen and her mother is 39, but once, two of my classmates thought that she was my sister. * This Troper's mom is 50 with little less than a month from the date of this entry before she turns 51. This troper is 16 but when we're out together many people will come up to us and ask my mother "Hey, I never knew you had sister." so either my mom looks really young or I look really old. * This troper's mother will be 44 this year, and it's been said by bystanders that she looks to be at least half that. Meaning that it appears his mother has not aged since he was born, and I will be 25 this year. For added fun, the first and last time I went to a bar, about a year or two back, I got asked for ID. The bartender seemed stunned. * When she was younger (early 40s), this troper's mother was almost always mistaken to be his older sister (and on one memorable occasion, girlfriend). Unfortunately, she doesn't take care of herself as much as she could, because she can still easily look 15 years younger than she is.

* This troper's sister is often mistaken as this. * My mother is nearly 49 but can pass for late thirties. Likewise, her sisters (one older, one younger, about a year apart) look very youthful as well. * My mom is 24 years older than me, but has been mistaken for my sister a few times. We also sound alike on the phone. ---Back to AbsurdlyYouthfulMother. Wait, you're actually younger than her? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AbuseMistake * This troper and her partner, who enjoy BDSM and switch roles, mostly stick to their more intense play during the winter, when bruises and other marks are more easily covered up. You only need one really awkward beach trip with friends asking what happened to your back to put away the flogger for a while. * This troper's best friend is a fencer. Apparently, lots of fencers run into this trope as the bruises and wounds they get are often very visible and vivid. ** This troper is a fencer, and is regularly covered with silverdollar sized bruises. When she wears a short-sleeved shirt and walks around in public with her male friends or her brother, the poor guys get lots and lots of dirty looks. * Lampshaded by this Troper's girlfriend, who, whenever she gets a bruise or cut from something, is prone to exclaim things like "look what you did!" very loudly for everyone to hear. Needless to say, some people took her seriously and invoked this trope. * This troper and his wife. I'm into the giving end of BD and she's more into the giving end of SM. While the ropemark fade away on her, not so much the case for the bruises and bite marks she gives me. Her family sometimes ask if she hits me. * This she-Troper has multiple partners (and a primary boyfriend) who gladly oblige in giving and recieving bites, scratches, pinches, tickles and hickies to hint of [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean things to come.]] Unfortunately, this she-Troper bruises like a banana, and prefers to wear tank-tops whenever possible to show off her "Claimed" status. People do not understand that there isn't that much of a fine line between pain and pleasure, especially in dressing rooms at the gym or girly sleepovers in the dorms. * This Troper sort of zig-zags the trope (Type A). She doesn't bruise often and when she does they're gone in a day or two. However she has large scars on her fingers from where she's compulsively chewed the skin in a misguided attempt to stop chewing her finger nails. When she was in secondary school a girl her aged asked if her mother abused her. I explained the situation and she believed me. THANK GOD. * In a completely non-sexual case, someone once called the police on [[{{Regiment}} this troper]]'s {{LARP}} group at college. Apparently the Crips and the Bloods are going at each other with foam swords nowadays.

* My boyfriend and I like to poke fun at each other, so, naturally, "I love you, go away!" crops up. He says it to me, I sass back at him, yadda yadda. Although apparently someone passing by gave him this look of shock and horror because she didn't hear me repeat it back at him. We find it amusing. I'm glad the random passer by decided not to say anything to a school official. It'd be really awkward to explain. * This troper used to have a very big pet iguana, said iguana didn't realize how big it was and loved to climb on me leaving large cuts up and down my arms whenever I forget to trim her claws, invariably I would have to explain to people, no I am not emo, no I do not need to see a psychiatrist for my cutting problem, it's the lizard that's to blame! ** incidently I've ran into the sexual side too, I and the Master I play with enjoy public scenes, we try to do it in places where we aren't gonna be found out but there are the occasional times some outsider will come across him suspending me from a tree branch in a park with my arms tied behind my back, I'd have to put a HUGE smile on my face and say to him "no there's no need to call the police, I'm consenting to 100% of this!"

AccentAdaptation * In [[Tropers/DaibhidC this troper]]'s planned-but-never-actuallyrealised fan-translation of ''Discworld/TheWeeFreeMen'' into [[ Scots]], the Feegles would have spoken [[ the Doric]]. * This troper thinks that the usual Southern accent adaptation doesn't make sense and uses an exaggerated version of her thick North Jersey accent for her Kansai-ben-speaking RP characters. It seems'ta work pritty well, 'n it doesn' actually need that much exaggeration, aither.

AccentuateTheNegative * Foster kids get this all the time. [[{{@/soojinyeh}} I]] definitely got it. * Really, anybody with self-esteem issues, which is probably everyone (at least to some extent), will do this when thinking about themselves. * Not too long ago [[@/BreezyGirl86 I]] took (and failed) a high school teacher training course. During the year, all teacher trainees are placed on practicum - actual experience at a high school - and when we returned from our first one, we had a class where we were all supposed to talk in groups about our positive and negative experiences at our respective high schools (and what made them positive or negative). The "positive" talk lasted for a few sentences from each person, mostly consisting of generalities, while many of my fellow trainees started going on INTO DETAIL about all the unkind teachers, bratty kids, etcetera...I was not exempt from that syndrome myself. * This is 90% of my style. Rather than focus on the long list of things that make me love a show or comic or community (which I still

do, just not as often), I will instead ''obliterate'' anything I do not like. Or as I put it: Removing problems is my job, so I'm going to do it. After all, if you sift out the dirt, all that's left is gold. ** Wait, is that you, [[ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]]? * I have a (former) friend who is like that. She broke up with her loser boyfriend? Well now she doesn't have a date for prom (which is in three months). She got a good grade on a test? It's not like it matters, she's definitely going to fail the next one. An extension on her paper? She ''procrastinates'' anyway, pulls an all-nighter, and then complains. People, don't be like this. Please. * My father is the most unhappy, miserable person she knows. The only thing that seems to make him even remotely happy is making everyone around him as unhappy and miserable as he is. If I voice a desire to apply for a certain job, start a feasible small business, go back to school to finish my degree, or better myself ''in any way'', he shoots it down and outlines for me at least ten reasons why I will fail. Seriously, being in the same room with this guy for ''five minutes'' would make you [[DrivenToSuicide seriously consider killing yourself]] [[ImprovisedWeapon with only the objects in said room.]] I know I do. ** Did [[{{@/Klon}} I]] reproduce without knowing it? * [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi This tropette]] is this towards cinema, soap operas, and teen dramas. * I uses this as a method of expressing joy and triumph. She'd give an example to clear that terribly vague sentence up, but most examples are composed of at least 80% new and exciting swearwords. * I use this method all the time when reviewing or discussing a work. In his opinion, if you criticize a work, be it good or not, you give the work areas to improve, which is often far more productive and causes a great deal more constructive conversation than just gushing about this. This has the side-effect of the friends of I assuming that he just hates everything. It doesn't help that he oftentimes is a bit harsh in his critiques, even when he likes the work in question. (See: Doctor Who.) ** This troper does the same thing for reviewing games and posting said reviews on GameFAQs. Because he criticized popular games like SuperSmashBrosBrawl, MarioParty 8, TombRaider Anniversary and AlienSwarm, FanDumb swarmed in and nitpicked all points in my review, acting like as if I knew nothing of the games I had played. * The troper who started the TroperTales page in the first place is sadly not surprised that the HumansAreBastards section is far longer than RousseauWasRight - in both TroperTales and Main Page sections. She chalks this, and this entire trope, to the fact that we tend to ''notice'' the bad more than the good, and take the latter for granted. * [[@/AndWeMustScream I]] became a pessimistic NietzscheWannabe due to too much accentuating the negative. Forget your friends comforting you, your father buying you a new laptop and taking you to the park; But always remembering those assholes who bullied you in school for being a nerd, and remember that KidsAreCruel, TeensAreMonsters, and HumansAreBastards! I often do not appreciate the little things in life, such as family and friends, since I have a mindset that optimism is for kids and the retarded, but when it comes to the negative, he

criticizes life, the universe and everything, most of all [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment life]], and often very angry, for example don't even get him started on how there are many poor people rotting in Africa. This accentuating of the negative also got into religion: for many Christians God created the universe, but for this {{Nay Theist}}ic troper, GodIsEvil who likes to torture humans for all eternity and he simply gives humans hope so they would be more MoeMoe from God's perspective, and therefore be more fun to torture. He sees Christianity as a menace which prevents homosexuality and euthanasia, but does not appreciate its charity works. This might have something to do with psychology: traumatic experiences are easier to remember in the unconscious. * This troper's guidance counsellor recently remarked that she'd like to slap him for constantly doing this to himself. * This is the kind of treatment this troper has come to experience at work. Doesn't seem to matter how much good I've done -- all I ever hear about is what I do wrong, to the point where I am currently on my LastSecondChance before being fired over mundane clerical errors. * This troper finds it incredibly odd how one of his friends keeps calling him out on being a "Cynic" because I thought that ''Film/Avatar'' was an utter ClicheStorm and not in the charming way; and how I ''[[SarcasmMode surprisingly]]'' thought ''HowToTrainYourDragon'', a movie I had ''zero interest in'', was "Average;" and "it's hard to talk to a cynic" - whereas this is the same person who seems to be actively ''looking'' for stuff to get mad at and his mood is comparable to [[{{Pandemic}} Madagascar]] - I once ruined his entire mood for the night because I ''sneezed on skype''. * [[{{@/BasketCase}} My]] year in college used to suffer from this, big time. Considering we're a drama course who use a lot of abstract work for training purposes, it was very, very unhelpful. Things have improved of late, though. * I tend to complain about grades 1-8 a lot, and i mean A LOT! but I got my rights, thoses years SUCKED! * This troper hears a shitton of this being delivered at {{Nintendo}} and SquareEnix, especially since "They're milking all of their franchises", sometimes naming stuff like ''LegendOfZelda'', ''ValkyrieProfile'' or ''{{Pokemon}}'' as examples. For starters; how is ''SquareEnix'' milking ''ValkyrieProfile''? There are only three games. Not to mention; the developer is ''TriAce'' - Square-Enix is only the publisher. And the same with pokemon. (Apparently most people don't know that Nintendo is only the publisher of Pokemon.) Even mentioning that they have actually published and/or developed a lot of new IPs and franchises. Nintendo in particular has developed or published (The latter is what they actually do more. [[DidNotDoTheResearch Most people don't know this, it seems.]]) a good ''twenty'' to ''twenty five'' new IPs in the past six years Especially if you include stuff like ''GloryOfHeracles'' (picked up title) or spinoffs like ''PokemonMysteryDungeon''. Nobody buys them; or even acknowledges they exist. And SquareEnix you know has actually published or developed a lot of new IPs, including publishing some games like ''CallOfDutyModernWarfare 2'' in Japan. * Story of this high-school troper's life when it comes to chemistry

grades. At a 71, it's the only bad subject on the most recent report card. Naturally, it's the only one that this troper's mother ever focuses on. * We have to have a workplace meeting every time we have a matter how stupid they are. That's all they focus on. Strangely we never get any notice about ''compliments'' we receive. * A college newspaper article was talking about how you can sue for the most frivolous things, and mentioning the case of Stella Liebeck (You know, the "Coffee lady") was a deliberate AccentuateTheNegative, bordering on DidNotDoTheResearch - Did you know that she was still found partially liable (only 20%) because she ''didn't read the warnings'', or that she ''wanted to settle outside of court'' but none other than McDonalds refused? * [[{{Tropers/Allronix}} Troper]] is a (leftist) political activist and FanFic writer working in a notoriously unstable job field that involves anticipating and repairing the results of Murphy's Law. This trope works great in those areas, as politics always means looking out for future implications, and anticipating a future issue is 50% of preventing critical failure down the line. In fanfic, being able to point out FridgeHorror and WhatTheHellHero can make for some great stories. The bad part is that I'm unable to turn it off... * Nearly everyone this troper grew up around did this-even the teachers: ** If I got a 99 on a test, I'd hear from someone, "Well, it's not a one hundred." Or, if I could read at a second grade level in first grade, "You should be on fourth grade level books." Even worse, when I did get that one hundred or finish that level four book, I'd then get from my fellow students, "You're acting white"/"You're making us look bad"/"You're a mindless sheep for doing homework." ** Also, they didn't like to give people props when they did a good job because they didn't want us to "get too confident and think you're better than everyone." ** My parents and other family were the exception to this, thank god, but they had their moments. I remember them getting on my brother for a B-minus, to the point where I thought that a B-minus was a terrible grade and anything below a ninety might as well be failing. Fortunately, I grew out of this mindset by highschool's end. * [[{{Tropers/Sus}} Sus]] has an unfortunate tendency to notice the shortcomings in just about anything, especially his own life and achievements (or rather, the glaringly obvious lack thereof). It can be quite wearisome for his family and friends. * A number of years back, I decided to stop using ICQ as an online messaging program due to getting a new computer, the high amount of spam messages to the point that it overflowed my ignore list, and receiving a virus as the last straw. The problem is that I've never gotten a replacement program. Why? Every time someone online talks about a program like AIM, it's to point out how AOL is the scum of the earth, how annoying people are on AIM, how it is still prone to spam (this even comes up on TheOtherWiki's article), etc. It wasn't until recently that I realized that all of those people still have the program and keep in touch with each other using it. But in those intervening years, my lack of online messaging basically made me fall

out of touch with my guild in an MMORPG I used to play, almost everyone I knew at college, various family members, etc., and I have continued to suffer from low self esteem issues as a result of having so few people to talk to. No matter whose fault it is in the end, I can't help but get the feeling that it could have all been avoided if ''someone'', during all those years of making fun of the various flaws of the program they used, could have simply told me that it's still a useful program for keeping in touch with people and that I should probably get it. ---If you go back to AccentuateTheNegative, all you'll find is a load of complaining which will just make you feel worse. * Then again, that seems to be all you'll find ''here'', too. ----

AcceptableFeminineGoals * Wasn't sure whether or not to put this in the main article, though I'm pretty sure it would fit under real life, as it's a historical subversion (or maybe inversion?): ** My great-grandmother, who was a young lady in Mexico around the time of the Revolution, and her family was an upper-middle class family where the girls were to find respectable husbands and live lives of leisure, and working was considered dishonourable. She decided that she wanted to have some autonomy in her life, though, so she stood up to her family and told them that she wanted to be a dressmaker. Though they never went so far as to kick her out of the house, she was spurned by them, but even so she completed two years of studies at a sewing school after learning dressmaking, embroidery, and knitting. Because she was also a great artist, her dresses were some of the best in the region, but she didn't say much about this period in her life-- probably too painful to remember being actively disdained by the local upper-class society for pursuing her dream. So there you have it: AcceptableFeminineGoals being [[SubvertedTrope turned on its head]], because even those goals were once controversial.n *** What's so unfeminine about dressmaking? Women are [[WholesomeCrossdresser usually]] the ones who wear dresses anyway. * Subverted by this troper, who is set to attend medical school. While she is interested in studying infectious diseases or genetics, a number of people (friends from school, friends of parents) have assumed she's going to become a pediatrician because "that's what a lot of girls end up doing". ---Pick up some sewing skills over [[AcceptableFeminineGoals here]]

AccidentalAesop * I wrote a story featuring seven gods (fire, water, earth, air, light, dark and the main god responsibility, the first six of which

acted literally like animals. Responsiblity tried to give them responsibility by making them into inteligent gods and leting them care for the humans. Fire let a human walk unharmed into his volcano home if he could pass 7 trials based on the elements. He did, by cheating, and Fire rewarded him with a flaming torch which would never go out (the humans had lots of trouble creating and mantaining fire)which he then used to torch the other humans homes and steal and murder. He was washing in a river when Water (who along with light and dark was female)appeared before him and used her powers to put out the torch (her godly opposite powers were all that could put it out). The human was angry and stormed back to the volcano and went mad at Vulcanus. Vulcanus found out what had happened and caused the volcano to errupt, destroying the human but carying the torch up out of thevolcano and lighting it again, leaving it for another human to use. Intended morals:Use gift's responsibly relating to the human and only give gifts of power to those responsible to use it for Fire. What moral did the people who read/listened to it decide on? Stay away from fire or you get burned and/or don't go in volcanos. * I listened to a public speaker tell a tale of an orchard of trees. Basically, one tree worked hard to plant roots, the others didn't and then there was a storm, all the lazy trees died and were made into firewood, but the hard working tree lived and went on to grow fantastic oranges. The intended aesop was something like "Hard work will help you achieve success in life". The accidental aesop came as "Work hard or you'll be killed, chopped into pieces, and set on fire." ** Work hard and get your body parts ripped from you, and eaten? * I read aloud my "original myth" story for creative writing. The story had various gods creating something for a new world, and one god (who continuously switched between a male body and a female body) created humans. The troper had ''meant'' to reference the ideas of a god who is either gender-neutral, occupies both genders, or the godgoddess duo. The class perceived an aesop of "Homosexuals can't make new people." ** That has some UnfortunateImplications about your classmates. ** How did they even ''get'' to that? ** The probably saw the two gendered god and thought "Only the combinination of male and female can create human life." Still CompletelyMissingThePoint but a nice try. * I wrote a short piece that was a TwiceToldTale of the early chapters of Bram Stoker's ''{{Literature/Dracula}}'', from the perspective of one of the three female vampires who hangs about the Count's estate and pervs on his visitors. There was no real moral intended-- they're vicious and animalistic. Gender plays almost no factor; the VampireBitesSuck rape metaphor continued throughout. Of course, right off the bat I had people assuming that the moral was "women who are shackled up in a patriarchal society can only escape it through sexual experimentation with those who do not obey that society's norms." Or, alternately, "SexIsEvil". * I had to prepare a lesson with a friend that somehow connected to the theme of knowledge. At the same time, we had been wanting to do a lesson on self-defense. I suggested the aesop of "You can learn to defend yourself now, and it could save you from getting hurt later."

Then retracted it a moment later, saying "No, because that would also imply that if you do get's all your fault for not learning self-defense." * I once wrote a short story about a teacher frustrated with the American school system for a class. During peer review I was complimented on the biblical imagery in the teacher's name and the obvious thought I had put into it. The name was John Michaelson. A name I'd [[AssPull pulled completely out of thin air]] and was planning to replace in the next draft because I thought it was stupid and didn't fit the character. Considering that this class NEVER gave a positive review to anything, copious amounts of SureWhyNot ensued. * Beta Maxis was recently in a young adult (college age) Sunday school class taught by our (female) Youth Group leader. She told us about how your mistakes screw others over as well as yourself. Adam allowed Eve to talk him into eating the forbidden fruit, Abraham let his wife talk him into marrying a slave to have a son by when sick of waiting, creating a black sheep son, and when King David knocked up a soldier's wife and covered it up by ordering him to the front lines of battle and marrying the new widow, resulting in still-birth and his other kids dying. When I had to leave for Church Choir, Connie asked me what I learned. I said "Women aren't worth the trouble." Everyone laughed, including the teacher's husband. * I'm not sure if this counts, but I have a bad habit of raiding more than my fair share of food, and it gets worse at Christmas. One Christmas, I decided to be the good guy and resist eating all the food. Unfortunately, my resolution ended with most of the food going off. So basically the moral of that story was "It's not nice to be greedy, but at least the food doesn't go to waste." ** Actually, most animals know this aesop by heart. Rats spring to mind. * When this troper sees modern shows about famous people and cast show-offs, he sees unlikeable characters who can get away with anything. He feels sorry for the {{Butt Monkey}}s, because they're the potentially likeable ones. The message he sees is "nice guys finish last". ** Which is completely true. * In a Bible class, we were reading about the Exodus, and we got to a rather little known bit in which everyone gets sick of manna, pester God for meat, and get quail - two cubits high as far as the eye can see. Everyone who eats the quail dies of something. The lesson is supposed to be 'Don't pester God for things you don't really need'. What we got was 'Don't eat quail.' ** Reading that, I got "God's a dick". * My friend was telling us about her English class assignment. The class was supposed to write down long-time grudges against people who did them wrong as letters, and then at the end of the letter tell the person that they forgave them. Then they would burn the letters. In a bonfire. She said it was supposed to be 'letting go of grudges and burdens that weigh you down'. I said, ''re burning your forgiveness?' * This ([[UnreliableNarrator atheist]]) troper read about the Exodus at one point in some bizarre, abridged, re-edited version that was in

one of his history textbooks. The overall message of the edited version came across that God had manipulated a PunchClockVillain pharaoh into sending a bunch of conscripts to die horrible deaths once they drowned in the red sea. [[CrowningMomentOfFunny The original King James version did not cause me to think this.]] * [[Tropers/{{Mort08}} I]] uncovered ''two'' Accidental Aesops in the 1931 film "Cimarron." It's a large-scale western that's supposed to be about how the pioneers expanded America through their fearlessness and determination. Here's what I took away from it; one, if you want to be forever remembered as a brave adventurer and noble pioneer by future Americans, all you have to do is abandon your wife and kids, shoot and kill your best friend in public, return to your wife, kids and neighbors with the intention of defending a known prostitute whose guts they all hate, abandon your wife and kids AGAIN and basically be a total jackass to everyone who cares about you - and two, the Academy Awards was a joke even in its infancy...this thing won Best Picture. ---Go back to AccidentalAesop. * That's clearly a statement about the importance of "Always returning to your roots." ** No, it's a statement about how TV Tropes is addicting. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AccidentalAimingSkills * This troper was once doing a bit of archery but has a co-ordination disorder so had no chance of geting a good score. Instead, he noticed the archery target, being made of paper and attached to a tree, was falling off so decided to try and reinforce it with the arrow (partialy for the comedic value of the paper target falling on whoever took the arrow out's head. He shot the arrow, intending to get the arrow in the large area outside the coencentric circles of the target but still on the paper and the arrow landed on the bullseye. * My old karate sensei told a story once involving "you can be considered a master of using chopsticks when you can use them to throw a single grain of cooked rice into a bowl from across the room." Apparently, someone brought that up when he was a dinner once, and he did it. First try. Never even tried again, since he knew it was shear luck. * Once when I was little, I had been on a bowling trip with my family and got a 7-5-10 split. I wasn't even hoping to get a spare, so I just aimed at the 7 and 5. The ball knocks the 7 over clean, but the 5 goes flying towards the 10 and knocks it down as well. To this day, I can't duplicate it. * In a paintball game in ROTC this troper's best shooting all day was when he accidentally fired on his squad leader. * I once threatened to throw an ice cube down a friend's shirt from across a table. He responded by holding out the collar and daring her to try. The ice cube completely missed the intended target and hit him right between the eyes.

* My best friend in high school tried to show off in front of the upperclassman, and threw a basketball into one of the gym's six hoops. The ball hit the backboard of one, rounded off the rim, and flew into ''a different hoop with a swish.'' Everyone in the gym looked at the guy, stunned. He looked at the captain of the basketball team, shrugged, and said [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome "But since this game is Seniors only...", and walked away without looking back.]] After catching up to him, I asked him how he pulled that trick off. His response? [[CrowningMomentOfFunny "I have no idea."]] * I once (after consuming a not insignificant amount of alcohol) foolishly accepted a dare to throw a dart blinfolded, over the shoulder, and left-handed. And hit the bullseye. I could not have duplicated the shot stone-cold sober with both hands free and both eyes fixed on the board. * This troper was in a game of kickball at his middle school and went up to kick the ball. He kicked it in a random direction and stormed towards first base. When this troper stopped he could hear the rest of the class cheering extremely loudly. He looked up and realized he made a basket with the ball after kicking it at least 60 feet. ** If you're not [[Tropers/{{JET73L}} me]] from a few years ago, my middle school eventually decided to count those as home runs after students repeatedly (and sometimes successfully) tried to duplicate the trick. I think I once hit the backboard of the basket above home plate (it was a six-basket court, and it didn't land in the basket). * I was in elementary school volleyball and basketball, and was never really good at either. However, I still remember that during my first volleyball game, I was about to bump the ball, and ended up swinging my arms too far so that the ball ended up curving behind me and flying into the basketball hoop of the gym my team was playing in. If only I had played with volleyball moves on my basketball team. ** Were you that girl that did that on AmericasFunniestHomeVideos? * I actually got to see this ''twice'' in a single trip to the range, same man, same gun, same unfortunate target stand getting shot down. As the shooter observed the first time, it's supposed to be an impossible shot. The second time...I fell over laughing. * [[Tropers/SabresEdge I]] have been on the receiving end of this trope, or possibly a variation thereof: not renowned for athletic skills, I was one of several outfielders in a middle-school softball game, being relegated to the position where I could do least harm. Third quarter, an opposing member lands a solid hit, sending the ball in a graceful ballistic arc - terminating neatly twelve inches from my face, right into my ungloved hands. Accidental catching skills, maybe? ** Same troper also knows a friend, whose first experience with boltaction rifles was...unusual, to say the least. The paper target at the shooting range was clipped between two parallel, horizontal wires. Without truly aiming, he managed to send a bullet through the clothespin and ''into the wire'', severing it just above his target and holding up the rifle class until the wire was replaced. The same person has since managed to develop ImprobableAimingSkills with a shotgun, but at last count ''still'' can't shoot well with a rifle. * I used to work at a restaurant with my brother. Like typical brothers, throwing things at each other was a fun pastime. One day, I

stepped out the back door to see my brother and one of the other employees on their smoke break, so I decided to throw a leftover slice of tomato at my brother's chest. The slice arced through the air and smacked the other guy right between the eyes instead. * And I once threw a bowling ball. . .rather than the usual gutterball it actually turned into a strike ... for the person at the lane on my right. * Done by me with a very casual toss of a long PVC pipe that was used as an improvised spear. Having never thrown a javelin before, I tossed it, just for fun, and it stuck perfectly in the ground near my intended target. * I seem to have a penchant for hitting kids square in the head whenever I don't try very hard to kick/throw a ball. One example would be at an end of recess in eighth grade, I got my favorite football, kicked toward the basket where they're stored, turned away, and beaned a sixth-grader right in the back of the head. This caused her to fall over too. I said sorry and didn't get in trouble because it was so cool. I miss recess. * My magnum opus in shooting things happened at a paintball session with friends. I got a (rather painful, so he complained) neckshot from 40 metres. When asked which vicious bastard shot him, I piped up: "I think you mean vicious bitch. Sorry, I was aiming for your chest." * My old high school had a game when they were teaching basketball in PE. Everyone got in a line and the front two people got basketballs to shoot at the hoop. If the person in front got in the basket first, they went to the back of the line. If the person behind them managed to get their ball in first, however, the person in front was out. Whenever I got out, I would always throw the ball at the hoop in frustration, never looking and every time it always got in. It still amuses everyone who saw it to this day. ** This troper played this exact same game a few weeks ago. I complained that I was terrible at basketball and a friend of mine assured me that he was also horrible and couldn't make a basket if the hoop was directly beneath his hands. He then proceeded to make every single shot he attempted on the first try. Other friends of his have sworn to me that yes, he really does normally suck at basketball, and that the game was just a freak accident. I still don't believe them. * Kulture here, two airsoft ones: ** First: a 500FPS Tanaka M500 handcannon revolver, headshot across the site on a sniper with a gas powered R700 that was harassing our team, right between the eyes. ** Second: Same revolver, through the undergrowth and straight into some poor bastard's kneecap at a relatively short range, needless to say, it held their advance up. * {{@/Quaternion}} made a rather short throw during a game of basketball in high school. Nevertheless, the ball bounced upwards from the wall bars, and from below, it went straight through the hoop, without touching the rim. The teacher considered awarding points for it. * SquealingSandry is famous in her family for her horrible aim with thrown objects (though she's rather good at archery and shooting with a pistol). However, the topper has to be the time she tried to throw a

shoe at the floor in anger... and '''''missed''''', hitting her [[AnnoyingYoungerSibling little brother]] in the kidney. He had made her late to work by stealing said shoes, though, so it may have been subconscious aim rather than accidental... but considering her usual aim? Not likely. ** ... How in the ''world'' do you miss the '''''floor?''''' *** The same way you trip on a cordless phone. ** Maybe you should learn how to fly. It's the same theory, really. * {{Tachikaze}} once managed, whilst screwing about with a friend's nerf gun managed to hit said friend in the glasses instead of the cans he was meant to be aiming for... * I had this happen twice, throwing things at two different friends. A rule of thumb for me is that if I'm aiming at it, there's no possible way for me to hit it. ** The first time it was a copy of a hardcover book. I aimed between her eyes, since I "knew" that if I aimed there, I wasn't going to hit it. Oops. ** Second time was a water bottle. I was aiming for my friend's face on the same principle (in retrospect, I should have learned my lesson the first time), and hit her square in the nose hard enough to get a nosebleed. In the middle of class. The teacher just laughed it off. * This Troper once got a hole in ''zero'' at crazy golf. The ball went up a slope, flew into the air, and landed in the next hole after the one I was currently on, so of course I scored it as 0 for the first and 1 for the second (what else do you do?) * This Troper hit her tennis trainer in the balls. Poor guy. * A friend of mine was shooting my scoped rifle at a group of three cans once when we were hanging out. After about 12 shots and no luck, he shot it in the general direction of the cans, from the hip. All three fell over, and when I went to check, each had an entry and exit hole in them. ONE SHOT. To this day, we can't figure it out. * During a volleyball game, this troper once managed to hit the ball so it went straight up and got lodged in the rafters. Total fluke. * Don't know if this counts, but I was part of a game of Dark Heresy. I ran into the field of fire in a corridor and I got hit by a perfect headshot from the enemy (who was targeting a friend next to my character). If I hadn't spent a fate point, it would have been the most hilarious death in the 40k galaxy: I get headshoted by someone who was aiming for the target directly next to me. Similarly, I once stupidly (in the same campaign) fired at the ground and, after a large amount of ricochets, almost killed an ally standing behind me (not the same one from the previous story). In fairness, I had fired a laspistol. ** Real life catching story this time: I once threw a pen in the air (I was bored in Chemistry, as was my table: just realised how many of my tales feature this same sentence or a similar one) and, without looking at the pen once after throwing it, managed to catch it in my other hand. It had gone from the right side of my body to the left in mid air and I had caught it without moving my left hand at all. To this day, I have no idea how the hell I did it, or managed to do the same trick like I did that day. * Occasionally happens to [[DarkInsanity13 This Troper]] when playing

SuperSmashBros. She'll throw an item with no real expectation that she'll hit something, and with any luck, one of her opponents will find themselves in its path with no escape (usually by being conveniently thrown into the right trajectory by someone else) and subsequently go shooting off the stage. * I have had this happen to me, and seen it, several times on the range. My two most memorable? One was shooting off the staples used to fasten a zeroing target to a board. I managed this with four shots, when we were just expending ammo to get rid of it. The other was an unaimed shot at at a man-sized target at 50 meters with an M-203 training round. I hit it through a window, in the groin, and knocked the target off its' stand, which it was bolted to. The look on my Lane Safety's face was priceless. The best one I saw someone do, was shoot an M-249 SAW, and have a 1:1 hit ratio on the range. ** A common occurrence on firing ranges which embodies this trope: when zeroing, or qualifying with, a rifle (or pistol for that matter) with the firing lanes close to each other is to get a 1:1 shot ratio...on the target of the guy next to you. * In a snowball fight, I (a guy who normally has terrible aim) threw two snowballs in quick succession. One hit one of my friends in the balls. The next one hit ''the same guy'' in the face. Needless to say, we had quite a laugh about that one. With the possible exception of the guy I hit in the balls. * In airsofting, this troper is possibly one of the worst shots you'll ever see (whether this is down to the l85 I use or me is up for debate). However, my section was pinned down by a support gunner on a ridge - and I was the only one who could see him clearly. I aimed at his chest - and just as he ducked down for a new ammo box - I got 5 shots (rapid!), all on his face. * During a break in fifth or sixth grade, this Troper had found a chestnut, and, upon spotting one of his younger sister's friends, decided to playfully toss it at him, aiming at his back from what seemed like a safe distance. Unfortunately, the target turned around at ''just'' the wrong moment, catching the chestnut [[BoomHeadshot square in the temple]]. Cue him starting to cry (and later telling my sister that the projectile had been a stone), me apologizing and my classmate complimenting my aiming skills. * I was once at a Hooters (don't judge me!) with a couple of mates, and in the course of messing around, one of them picked up a piece of chicken and flicked it at my face. It hit me in the eye, and I involuntarily reached up to brush it away before I realized that I was wearing glasses, which were planted firmly at the top of my nose - in short, he threw a piece of chicken THROUGH MY GLASSES. We still can't figure out how he did it. * This Troper still feels guilty over an incident that happened when she was in fourth grade. It was a snow day, and my mother was filming I and my brother having a snowball fight. For fun, I turned and threw a snowball at the filmer, aiming several feet to the right to avoid actually hitting. Bullseye! Right on the camera lens! The camcorder never worked again. * Team Fortress 2 example, straight from the ''TeamFortress2'' Tropertales CMOA page. This is what I did:

** OK, this was truly awesome. Demoknight with sword and shield. red team, 2fort. Trying to attack BLU base from within BLU sewers with a bunch of other guys. we are totally outnumbered. A Kritzkrieg Solly is coming my way, while a Sniper and a Scout are on the sewer stairs. I targe-charge. The rocket hits just in front of me and I go FLLLLLLLLLLLLYING! My Targe slams into the sniper on the steps headon, killing him. The crowd roars In-Game. at the EXACT SAME MOMENT, my fully critical sword cleanly decapitates the unfortunate scout just below me. Cue everyone their saying, on voice chat, that I was the luckiest sonovabitch in the game, perhaps ever. I respond by killing and taking the heads of the kritzmedic and the no-longer-kritz soldier. Then, respond in voice chat, perfectly deadpan: "Just as planned..." (not really). /Awesome * One time, at a Cub Scout day camp during an archery class, this troper hit a bulls-eye without even looking at the target. * One time my friend tried to throw a pen to me. Instead, it did a flip in midair and landed perfectly in the shirt pocket of the person next to me. * Back when I was 8 or so, I was hanging around on a small patch of land my father had, throwing a frisbee. One of the throws went untouched through the branches of an olive tree, and over the fence into the fields beyond. I couldn't help but stare, hoping for the frisbee to fall down so I could go and recover it. After roughly 30 seconds of the plate hovering in the distance, the frisbee flew back into the estate, over the fence, ''between the very same branches it flew from, and right into my forehead.'' ** This counts as the comdedic variant of a BoomerangComeback as well. * Once in a semi-playful fight with a friend, in order to avoid an impending kick in the balls this troper, as a last ditch distraction, tested some card-throwing techniques I'd googled using a leaflet I had in my pocket, managing to hit him squarely in the chin, hitting corner first and causing a fairly deep and bloody cut. * This troper once tossed a coke can towards a bin about four feet away, knowing she probably wouldn't get it in but trying anyway. It didn't go in, but instead hit her friend right between the eyes with a rather satisfying 'donk' sound. If I'd been aiming for her, it probably would've gone in the bin. * This troper has notoriously bad aim. Whilst playing tennis she managed to bean a guy in the head. She also has bad aim when it comes to archery, although her sight was a pin and she hadn't gotten glasses for that far away not see-y thing. (Darn BuffySpeak.) The class was playing a game where you had to get as close to the teacher's arrow as possible. I aimed at the wrong arrow. And got mine within centimeters of the teacher's arrow. The fletchings were touching. * This troper was playing tennis against one of his friends, who happens to be simply terrible at aiming. This friend smacked the tennis ball which then missed the court, bounced off a tree, bounced off a second tree and fell right in front of this troper. * Somehow, when this troper was about 14, she went on a late-night bowling trip sort of thing in Vegas. Halfway through the final game, she was overcome with incredible stomach pain (which I still don't know the reason for) and her brother offered to bowl for her so they

could finish up and go home early. In a rare fit of stubbornness, she got up from the bench, picked up her 8-pound ball, and the ball ended up pulling off a perfect strike while she was limping back to the bench. She ended up saying, "I don't need help." The miraculous lucky shot turned out not to be repeatable. * In my high school chemistry class, I threw a pen straight up in the air a couple times while standing up. Then, when I threw it again, it landed perfectly in my pocket. It was a normal sized pocket, not baggy or anything. * I tend to be a magnet for this. The more serious temper-induced one was the time when I was mad at my sister who kept making fun of me as I was sitting in the "treehouse" (it was on the ground now) trying to calm down and stay away from letting my temper get the best of me and I ended up punching her. When my sister wouldn't stop, I grabbed the nearest thing to me, which was a single, and threw it blindly out of the treehouse window just to get my sister away. Somehow, the shingle hit her square in the eye, nearly blinding her and getting me into a world of trouble despite telling them it was an accident and I wasn't intending to hit her in the eye. ** In sophomore year of high school, we were playing soccer in gym class. I was at goalie and my friend was on the opposing team. She had a clear spot to shoot a goal which was pretty far away and kicked it as hard as she could. Out of all the places it could've hit, it ended up hitting me [[GroinAttack right in the babymaker]]. I'm just thankful that I wasn't a boy at that point because my god that stung so bad. ** Then junior year of high school gave another legendary gym class shot of improbability. In my high school's gym, the basketball hoops are sometimes folded up into the rafters. So the hoop was folded up into the rafters right above us. We were playing volleyball and I was the server. I served it as hard as I could and it bounced straight up. I cringe and go "OH NO" when I realized I screwed it up. The ball ended up not only on the backboard, but it ended up in the net too! * [[@/{{Celticfang}} This troper]] plays lacrosse, and is legally blind as well as a {{Deadpan Snarker}}. His matches usually include at least one example of the trope, usually when he's forgotten about. But the one that sticks out is exactly a year ago, when my ex from Washington state came to visit me. And I had a lacrosse match. We were tied at the time, I was known as somebody who'd help out on defense despite being an attacker primarily. So I got the ball by the crease, and without turning, threw it over my shoulder (and the net). Then the whistle went a few moments later. I found out I'd scored what turned out to be the game winning goal. A CrowningMomentOfFunny happened when my ex asked what I was doing. My reply was simply "Clearing the ball. And apparently a lot more" * Years back, my friend and I were "playing darts" in his garage. By which I mean walking up to the dart board, sticking the dart in the center, and pretending we scored. Eventually this got boring, so we decided to do something else. So I tossed the dart at the board (to "put it away") and hit the second-innermost ring. Of course, he had walked away before this happened and didn't believe me when I told him.

* A few years ago, I was kicking a football around in a park with a couple of friends, and one of my friends was making fun of me, he turned to face the other friend and I called out to him as I grabbed my wallet and threw it to my side and hit him in the groin, from about 10-15 meters away. * a couple years ago, i was in the middle of my first paintball match ever, i had never played before, and was up against a few kids that while not much better had at least some experience. it was speedball and a teammate and i tried running to the same cover, we didn't see each other until we were there fighting for protection because we came from opposite directions. anyway he won the argument because i panicked, and decide to run for the next bunker. which had an opponent already there o the other side, i only noticed him when i was half way the the bunker i wide open ground, so i let loose on full auto at the hip while running...hit him in the mouth of the mask. i got to the cover and found two other opponents behind bunkers right in front of me, they both missed, but i got them with lucky shots. i never did get any good shots for the next 5 hours we played. nor on the next 3 times i played paintball. * This happened to this troper's History teacher. He often mimics historic characters in a comic way in order to make the examples clearer. He once impersonated a man who tried to get more and more power in the beginning of Brazil's republic: he started by speaking increasingly angry, gesturing wildly with a piece of chalk in his hand, and in the end of the sentence "I WON'T PLAY ANYMORE!" he threw the chalk without aiming, right inside the trashcan. All students went "OOH/COOL/AMAZING/DO THAT AGAIN!"; he shrugged and said "Don't ask me to do it again, not even a miracle will make me hit it like that..." * This Troper was trying to shoot a cup off of an ice chest with a Nerf gun and kept on missing. Afterwards, he got up to pick up a dart that had ricocheted (at this point the gun had one dart left). He had his back facing the cup and was walking to the dart. He points the gun over his left shoulder and fires the gun. The dart hits the cup. * The first time [[Tropers/{{Fifthman}} I]] fired at a 70 meter target in competition, I wasn't particularly successful. My shots were landing consistently below the target. I figured it was something with my form until I fired another low shot that found its way into a bird flying under the target. The bloodstains are still on the fletchings to this day. * This Troper was practicing throwing playing cards, with little success. My brother, smartass that he is, was giving me shit about it, so I flicked one back at him without looking. Didn't hit him, but it did get stuck in a miniscule crack in the door frame that I didn't even know was there, and could never have hit if I was trying. * This troper remembers a time in elementary where one of his friends kicked a rubber ball up..... [[CrowningMomentofAwesome into a basketball hoop from the sides]]. It was completely unexpected to the group, and it could not be emulated again. * On the first day of high school gym, the teacher was going over the safety rules. "Remember, you are never allowed to do this," he said as he dropkicked a basketball and it went neatly into the hoop on the other (long) side of the gym. We were all struck-dumb for a moment,

and then he continued, "And because you are never allowed to do that, burn this into your memory, because you'll never get the chance to see something that awesome ever again." * Two words: Badminton, forehead. This troper was forbidden to smash the birdie for at least two weeks' worth of practice because no one was safe during that single practice round. Luckily, it never happened again. * In high school, my best friend and I wanted to play basketball with some older kids. There were six hoops on the court, for two halfcourts, and one full-court. We were sophomores, they were seniors. Naturally, they were jackasses about it. The guy with the ball fumbled it, and it bounced over to my friend, who is an ''excellent'' basketball player. He picked up the ball, and threw it. It flew over to one of the half-court hoops on the opposite side of the gym, ''bounced off the rim'', and flew straight into the full-court hoop. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Cue the stunned faces of everyone in the gym]]. And my fiend looked at the seniors, shrugged nonchalantly, said "Well, if you don't want me, see you later," and walked out of the gym. I followed him, and just as I was about to ask "How did you do that?", he asked me "Oh holy crap, ''did you see that?!"'' * When I was in Highschool, Our school used to engage a nearby school in [[SeriousBusiness a massive snowfight]]. This happened in my first year: After a long "battle", most of the other school's people wanted to go back (since the break was almost over), and one of the older students moved forward, [[RousingSpeech attempting to motivate them into charging again]]. [[SedgwickSpeech This stopped when he was hit]] [[SedgwickSpeech ''right in the face'' ]] by my snowball. * This Troper could not throw darts to a bullseye... 3 feet in front of her. She has sucky aiming skills. However, when was in Saturday school for the Specialized High School Admissions Test, a friend of hers wanted her eraser back. This Troper was at the back of the room, her friend was a the front, but it was only 4 desks or so in front of her. (It's a small classroom.)Said Troper threw the eraser... it flew in the air... slamming into an empty garbage can. Which she did not know was there. It's opening is probably the size of your keyboard, maybe smaller. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome It was awesome]]. * @/Valbinooo here. It's a RunningGag between my boyfriend and I that if he aims for my shoulder, he WILL hit me in the chest (in reference to an AccidentalPervert moment). So far, that statement has held true. * This troper had an AKM and for fun was once trying all kinds of [[AwesomeButImpractical trick shots]] from the factory designated maximum effective anti infantry range of 350 meters on a 2'X4' piece of plywood. I naturally missed when I fired from the hip and when I shot from the FPS gun hold position, which is like having the gun in the lower right quadrant of your view, just like in Halo. I somehow then nailed it I overhand wrapped my left hand around the hand guard and looped my right hand around the pistol grip, looping my thumb through the trigger guard. I held the gun a bit upside down sideways and pulled off FiveRoundsRapid. I hit all 5 times. [[IGotBetter It gets better.]] Next, I put it in [[MoreDakka fully automatic]] and positioned it on my right shoulder like a rocket launcher, keeping the stock on my shoulder. I then proceeded to hold down the trigger and

empty the magazine. [[ThisIsSparta EVERY!]] [[ImprobableAimingSkills SINGLE!]] [[AccidentalAimingSkills BULLET!]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome HIT!]] [[NeonGenesisEvangelion THE!]] [[BeyondTheImpossible TARGET!]] * In ''WarRock'', switching weapons involves left-clicking, so it's common for new players to accidentally fire a gun while doing it. In a game on Conturas, the largest map, this troper accidentally fired a sniper rifle at an upward angle. Ten seconds later, it killed an enemy soldier on their airfield as he climbed into a fighter plane. * When trying out some ''{{Turok}}'' demo on the [=PS3=] this troper's former roommate was trying to hit a pair of small, non-aggressive dinos with the tek bow and doing an awful job at it. With his last arrow, the roommate said, "Ah, screw it. Let's see how far this thing can fly." He shoots straight forward, giving the arrow a long rainbow arc, followed one second later by a loud [=SQUAK=] as the little dino gets impaled through the neck. * This troper was playing a game of snooker with Friend A, while Friend B was screwing about with some marbles (I don't freakin' know where he got them from). Friend A made an offhand comment about the size of Friend B's... parts. Friend B responded by throwing one of said marbles at Friend A. This is where it gets awesome. The marble missed by a few inches, flew straight towards me, bounced off the snooker cue I was holding, ''landed on the pool table'', '''rolled and ricochet off a ball''', '''AND WENT STRAIGHT INTO THE CORNER POCKET.''' We all simultaneously said "Holy shit!" We had a pretty fine reason to. * This troper was once plinking with a pellet gun in the backyard when one shot hit what looked like a spinning green twig. Turns out the twig was a grasshopper. Shot where the head meets the thorax. In midair. * This troper's mom can miss anything... except below-the-belt hits. They always work. * A somewhat dark example: At an archery range in the Poconos with my family, while aiming for a target less than 100 feet away, I missed and instead sent the arrow through a small hole in the safety netting behind the target. When my siblings and I went searched the woods behind the range, I asked my brother if he found the arrow yet. "Yep", he said. [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel Cue said brother holding up my arrow with an impaled and still-wiggling chipmunk dangling from it]]. Then the chipmunk slid off the arrow and ran away, leaving red splotches of sticky stuff all over the shaft. I was done with archery for that week. * Basically, any time that This Troper hits the gold in archery, to which he's still a newbie at. * a while ago, maybe 6 years now, i was in recess inside because it was raining or something like that. i was playing with a hacky sack and my classmates were playing foursquare on the other side of the gym. the ball was hit too hard and came into the hacky sack game, so i drop kicked the ball, with a nice spin it curved and hit the girl, that originally kicked it over to me, in the face, knocking her to the ground. i made myself scarce for the rest of the week. * Now, here is something that even the most experienced MenofWar players probably haven't seen before,

[[ at 8:50 through 9:10 here]]. ---If you aim for [[Main/AccidentalAimingSkills Improbable Aiming Skills]] you might hit the main page. ----

AccidentalInnuendo * This Troper's teacher, on the topic of hominids, described Homo Erectus an "The first human able to stand [[RagingStiffie er]][[SomeThingElseAlsoRises ect]]. * This tropette's school was giving out awards to the school athletes. The baseball team's coach said, "And this goes to the [[FreudWasRight player who had the largest stick all year]]." * The seventh grade wrote short notes for the graduating senior class. This tropette's best friend and her walked past two classmates arguing about who wrote a note for which girl. One of them said, "You're wrong, [[LesYay I'm the one who did Ellen!"]] The resulting walk to class was the two of us trying not to go into hysterics. * Coming back from a field trip, a girl on this troper's bus was eating a mandarin orange. Being very picky, and loud, exclaimed "Aw, I swallowed the white stuff!" while eating it. Everyone on the bus, except her, burst out laughing. * When I was playing Super Smash Bros. Brawl, my opponent hit me enough times to get my two parts of the Dragoon from Kirby Air Ride. I screamed "No! My parts! My parts! He took my parts!" * This weak-lunged troper once had a really bad cold and was blowing her nose... "I'm not very good at blowing..." followed by a friend saying "Try harder!"... to which I replied "Oh god, it just keeps coming! I'm gonna need more tissues! Maybe another box!" "There's more over there if you need them". [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]]. * [[{{Seungmina}} My]] English teacher loves to pull phrases from the books they read, then have his students make poems out of them. Unfortunately the phrase he picked was "A salty dew formed on his lips," he didn't realize the implications before it was too late. This same teacher, when annoyed by a group of students, threatened to throw his MobyDick at them. * This happened so much to My student teacher for band. One of the most infamous moments was when he talked about how much he loved "losing his stickies" when referring to sticky notes to talk about what we needed to work on. Needless to say, everyone took it the wrong way. Then there's what we consider his trademark phrase: "Do you have wood, perhaps?" Fun times. * This troper was having a Christmas get-together with his large extended family, and we were all playing Taboo. My fairly innocent 10year-old female cousin got "Fortune Teller" on her card. She first began by saying, "Um, this person has balls..." and nobody could stop laughing. And later on, my aunt was getting ready to say her words and mixed up her expressions, saying "Yeah, I'm gonna smoke this joint!" * This troper's high school chorale is full of this, instructor included. One of my favorite incidents involved the instructor

reprimanding a student for drawing a picture of a giraffe in his music. The instructor acknowledged that it was clearly a male giraffe, leading to the student saying, "Oh no, you misunderstand, that's the back leg, it's not a...ohhhhhh..." * I am a part of a community circus, and was trying to learn juggling. I asked one of our jugglers to teach me. This lead to a thirty minute conversation about juggling balls in which every word had to be weighed to prevent accidental innuendo. Naturally, some came out anyways. "These are really nice balls! Where did you get them?" "Ummm..." Yeah. * [[{{Shadowgirl_13_chaos}} Me]] and a couple of my guy friends were in class at my high school talking, and I went to get some lotion sitting at a table nearby because my hands were dry. I pressed the pump and out jetted this liquidy, watery white-ish lotion all over my hands, and out of shock and awe, I screamed " EWW THE WHITE CRAP SHOT OUT ALL OVER MY HANDS!" Cue immediate laughter from my friends. We now call that paticular bottle of lotion, that is still there to this day, the Jizz Lotion. * On My water polo team, the coach strung a hose across the pool to get us to tread up and set the ball. What resulted was one of the players not getting up high enough and whacking the hose, and the coach saying "hey, don't touch my hose!" .... Then, while we were all laughing, the girl we were supposed to be passing the ball to said, "Hey, I haven't seen any balls here in a long time!" ** Water polo is really just one giant accidental innuendo. What other sport do you shag your balls, attempt to get a defender on your back, play in hole, or have non-sexual hickies? (Referring to picking up the water polo balls after shooting, an offensive strategy, an offensive position, and the red marks a water polo suit leaves.) ** For the 2000 Sydney olympics, they decided to use some cameras underwater at the Water Polo, to show the amount of work the players do. They didn't use those cameras after the first match! * [[@/{{Smerf}} This]] troper was having a game session with some friends when his foot fell asleep. I then decided that he was going to sit cross-legged in the chair, and found that he couldn't get his foot onto the chair to do so. Cue the troper, with chair pulled up with the table, making goofy body motions in an attempt to get his foot up on the chair without reaching down. Cue his friends: "What the hell are you doing?" Cue the troper, in reference to his foot: "I can't get it up" Cue the troper going "What? What the hell is s- Oh, God damn it! My foot! I couldn't get my foot up on the chair!" * [[@/{{Jakkarra}} This troper]] had an English teacher a few years back who hated him, he literally {{Cant Get Away With Nuthin}}. The teacher in question once badgered him about some homework that NOONE HAD DONE, singling him out because of some abstract loathing (although there was one person who acted up in every class, who she seemed to like) and the troper responded with "aw, come on," which prompted the reply of "don't you come on me!". [[@/{{Jakkarra}} This troper]] still gets ribbed about this incident to this very day. * This troper after being hit in the face with a rugby ball said breezily "I get hit in the face by balls all the time". Everyone cracked up as this troper tried to amend the sentence.

* A friend of this troper teaches English grammar to non-native speakers at university, and has an unfortunate tendency to pick the verb "come" for examples (e.g. "Did you come?"). She always catches herself ''slightly'' too late, and even if noone else realizes how the sentences might be interpreted, ''she always does''. * As [[@/{{Nomic}} this troper]] has mentioned in the ThatCameOutWrong page, he knew a girl that tended to often say stuff that could be interpreted as having an innuendo. For example, one time she explained that she had a hole in her trousers because she liked spreading her legs around a lot (she then proceeded to sit with her legs spread and point out that it caused the seam on her trousers to get broken). * When this troper was in Europe, he began to become fairly wary of the constant scam artists. At one point, he claimed to his female friend, "At this point, whenever someone says something to me I just ask, 'How much is this gonna cost me?'" Said friend tested it with, "Hi, my name is Brianne." ...She hit me. * This troper innocently and completely happily named her [[{{Pokemon}} Bidoof]] (a ''beaver'' {{Mon}}) Bushy. She didn't even think of the implications until recently. * Another Troper named her [[{{Pokemon}} Rhyhorn]] "Horny" when she was very young because she had a somewhat loose grasp of english and it, well, HAS a horn on the head. Her brother (who was elder [[BilingualBonus and also had english as his first language in school]] - complicated story - told her that something was wrong with the name, then transported it into his Diamond version and now refuses to release it. It wasn't until he showed her the Rhyhorn on his Diamond screen when she realized WHAT he had meant with "well... the bad thing is that it has to do with fucking" (said in our motherlanguage). * When I had to change into my sweats for tennis practice, me and two other people would go to my friends house. I changed in the bathroom, they changed in the bedroom together. I heard a crash one day and when we were going to tennis practice I wanted to know what happened. They gave this explanation: "See, Collin and I were in the bedroom together..." "EEEWWWW!!!!!" "Not like that! So then I was putting on my pants, and Collin tackled me onto the floor then climbed on me, and I told him to get off because I wasn't in the mood, so he got off then I put my pants on." * [[@/JapaneseTeeth My]] friend once did a [[VisualInnuendo visual]] version of this, with his attempt to pantomime putting a shotgun in his mouth. Take a guess what it looked like. That was five years ago and we still make fun of him for it. * I had this happen to me in the 4th grade. That day I had taken two little rubber bouncy balls from my brother's collection. When I was coming home on the bus, they fell out of my pocket. I panicked, thinking my brother would kill me if I lost them. Being in the front of the bus, I turned around and yelled "Has anyone seen my balls? there's two of them!". That was followed by " No wait! I mean the small kind that bounce!" People really won't let that go. ** So you're saying your balls dropped when you were around nine or ten? * Due to our filthy minds, this tends to happen within my group of

friends at least once a day. It is usually followed by 'that's what she/he said!' ** Oh my god [[{{Shadowgirl_13_chaos}} me]] too! It eventually got to the point when several of my high school teachers banned the phrase. We had 3 detentions a week after the decree. * My dad has corrupted my mind so much that my friends can hardly say anything without me getting the wrong idea. * [[@/TromboneChild This female troper]] is the queen of this, and not ''that'' kind of [[CampGay queen]]. For instance, some of my friends had been looking at a sex-toy catalogue for fun, and we began talking about something else, but the catalogue was still out. I said that someone should "get off" of something, and my friends thought I was purposely making a dirty joke. I wasn't. * My female friend, after being called on a previous accidental innuendo said something to the respect of "damn it, why do you keep tricking me into stupid, sexual things..." * One of my friends was on his PSP looking up pornography and trying (successfully) to get me and my other friend to watch porn with him. Right when I decided 'fine' my little nephew rushed in saying "Do you want a banana" holding out banana's for all three of us. Suffice to say we were laughing hard. * I had a classmate who was trying to gather up all of the tennis balls in the classroom before class started. He left to grab a notebook from his bag and a friend of his scattered the tennis balls all across the room. He came back and saw that the tennis balls were no longer there and he ended up shouting "My balls! Where are my balls?!" * Turned a joke against myself on accident while harassing a friend over character selection in Left4Dead. My initial claim was that Bill's Gay Country Club wouldn't allow Louis or Zoey to join. When questioned why I was part of such a dubious affair, my reply came as "I'm not gay, I'm only along for the ride". * During a science lesson I had a while ago, we were learning about how the eardrum works. I blurted out, in front of his crush and several other girls no less, "So everyone has a vibrator?" I blame the internet. * During the weight lifting unit in gym, there was one point in time where we had to use rubber weights. Cue on of my friends saying "Sara, I can't find the ten pound rubber!" * During band practice, one of my band directors was hot, so he told one of us to go and "Jiggle the thing," meaning "Turn down the thermostat." We all recognized this and pointed it out. * 2 situations of this kind happened to moi, both in 2 different acting classes, 1) We were doing a Would I Lie To You thing and it was one of the others go and she said that she went to Japan, and I said so did you go on a tour guide, instead of just tour, I only recognized the [[TitleDrop Accidental]] [[AccidentalInnuendo Innuendo]] when everyone laughed. 2) The teacher per se of the class said hole in one and about 6 of the 14 people (all girls) Started giggling uncontrollably because beforehand they were talking about whether someone else's character was having an affair with my golf obsessed character.

* Subversion happened in My World Geography class when we were talking about the solar system (shouldn't we be learning about this in science?) in that it wasn't accidental. When on the planets, we reached [[UranusIsShowing Uranus]]. Yes, the teacher was pronouncing it ''that'' way, but the killers were, "Uranus has rings made of ice and rock" and "To reach Uranus" (I don't even remember what was said next). Even the teacher herself started laughing then. ** Another one about Uranus: We were making models out of planets to hang on the ceiling and when the teacher asked if they were done, my friend replied "I need to put some glitter on Uranus". Cue as many Uranus jokes as humanly possible for the next few days. * This troper was doing a "white elephant gift exchange" in her class. I picked up one random box, and I held up a bag that said "Squishy Baseballs" on it. With no idea what to say for the mandatory thank you speech, I ended up panicking and saying, "Thank you for these squishy balls." Suddenly, this random person in the audience yelled, "Squishy balls!" really loudly. HilarityEnsues. ** Afterwards, this guy got stuffed animals. His speech: "Thank you for these cute stuffed animals. I will make sure I will sleep with them." * My friend is the king of finding these. You will not get away with saying anything for long enough without a "That's what SHE said!" * I have a rather odd friend. Said friend is completely obsessed with SuzumiyaHaruhi. So, one day, we were discussing it. One thing he said was, "If I had to be stuck in a closed space with someone /forever/, it would be you." For those who don't know, that would be like starting the world over ... Yeah, he hasn't heard the end of that. ** By any chance, does your friend or you wear a yellow hairband? * I once in an english class, while we were put into discussion groups on tables, got put on the same table as the girl I have a big crush on. People were commenting on my height(Im fairly tall) and I noted that I infact have large hands, big feet, long hair, large eyebrows, long arms, massive legs, big teeth and a large nose, and that I am in general very oversized everywhere on me....Oh god I didnt mean that!!. I actually got applauded by a few of the male members of my english class. ** [[DoubleEntendre Male members?]] * At an ethics meeting, a speaker was talking about how to avoid plagiarism and how getting help from outside sources like parents constitutes cheating. As she put it, it's unfair to seek help because "not everyone has access to your mom." * There's a stand at My state fair called European Nuts. They sell, true to form, roasted, sugared almonds and cashews and such. This has been, from the earliest I can remember, the only time my parents ever led the entire family in a sexual innuendo... myself, of course, being painfully oblivious to it all. (The fact that my dad renamed the stand, thanks to the dirndl-wearing saleswomen, the Kaiser's Nuts, might have helped me catch on in the end.) On another testicle-related pun, one of My elementary school games involved pompom-like yarn balls. One of my classmates had two of them already stuffed up his shirt-sleeves, and asked for one of mine. I said no; he already had two. I got reported by the instructor for making a dirty joke.

* {{CloudCuckoolander}}s + FreudWasRight + TheIngenue + AllMenArePerverts + a [[MemeticMutation meme]] [[NoodleIncident involving cookies and lesbians]] + [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment Freud Was Right]] + TheUnintelligible + too much noise to hear well + '''FreudWasRight''' = [[DiggingYourselfDeeper Dug self into hole]] filling up with Accidental Innuendoes.[[TakeOurWordForIt Let's just]] [[YouDoNOTWantToKnow leave it at that]]. One of the best/worst was: ----> First friend: (long list of chatter) what are you doing after school today?\\ Second friend: You, and (chatter)\\ BeatPanel\\ Everyone else: Umm...\\ HilarityEnsues. * My science teacher: "Keep your hands to yourself, and don't touch anybody. If you need to touch someone, you can touch yourself." * A recent one in My British Literature class --> '''Teacher:''' I need to plug in [the plug into the outlet...unfortunately, she just left it at plug in...]. --> '''Entire class:''' OOOH!!! * I have one group of friends that does this all the time. If you're in their presence for half an hour without somebody saying [[HaveIMentionedIAmHeterosexualToday No Homo]] or [=~That's What She Said~=], consider yourself lucky. * This troper remembers a time in the seventh grade when we somehow got on the topic of my classmate Danny's younger brother. --> '''Teacher:''' What is he interested in? --> '''Danny:''' I don't know. --> '''Teacher:''' Well, when you play with your brother, what do you play? --> '''Danny:''' My brother plays with himself * "Multi Purpose Glue! It fulfills ALL of you needs." --> "Whoa. It is like, the white, sticky stuff that gets the job done." * I was in a class where we were discussing Halloween costumes. Started with one girl saying that she was going to have "fang" caps put on her teeth (I'm not a vampire, it's just me and my fangs), and led to "I'm not Yoda, it's just me and my lightsaber." (Right... Strange thing is, they didn't even notice it.) * One week at [[@/KingSonnDeeDoo this troper's]] Village Drama group, we were rehearsing our {{Pantomime}}, but due to an actor playing one of the main characters not being there, one of the younger guys was standing-in for them. At one point, one of that character's lines were "My love is futile!", but instead, what came out was "My love is fertile!", to which someone else quips "I don't think you want that kind of love!". [[HilarityEnsues Laughter Ensued.]] ** Another example occured recently, whilst she was on the bus ([[PutOnABus not like that]]) with a male friend. He was fiddling/examining the keyrings on her bag, leading to this... -->'''[[@/KingSonnDeeDoo This troper]]:''' Oh, don't worry. Feel free to [[AccidentalInnuendo play with my bag]]. -->'''Male Friend:''' [[GenreSavvy Innuendo much?]] -->'''This troper:''' * ''Realises what she's just said sounds like''*

Oh gosh, no, I didn't mean it like that, no, I didn't...* ''Trails off into incomprehensible babbling/stuttering, and then facepalms''* * My statistics teacher had just taught the class a statistical trick. He then went on to say "You can now use that trick on your little brothers and sisters. I like to take advantage of small children!" One person caught it quickly, and the rest of the class soon followed, plunging us all into a laughing, snorting fit. He then proceeded to say "I meant in betting!" through his tears of laughter, however it came out sounding more like "bedding". That only served to add fuel to the fire. * A friend of mine, after falling victim to this trope multiple times, got tired of it, and said something to the respect of "Look, I know I always set myself up for stupid, sexual things..." My response? "Set yourself up for stupid sexual things, you say?" And from then on, whenever she said something that sounded like an innuendo, I would mention that "You set yourself up for stupid, sexual things again, didn't you?" * As a teenager, my best friend used to walk home from school with me until her mother got off work, at which point she would come to my house to pick up my friend. One day we heard her mother enter the house and call to us, "Heather, it's time to leave." Friend and I were in the midst of a conversation, so she called out to her mother, "just a sec, Mom." A minute later, her mother again called out for her daughter to hurry up, and once again friend responded with, "just a sec, I'll be right there!" Friend's mother was understandably impatient at this point, so with friend's third response of "just a sec", her mother finally lost it and shouted, "no more secs, Heather, come NOW!" That effectively ended the conversation, but it took my friend and me several minutes to stem the tide of hysterical laughter. * This troper is a walking AccidentalInnuendo/ ThatCameOutWrong, much to his family and coworkers enjoyment and his own horror. * This troper's high school chorus consists of 20+ silly, dirty-minded teenagers and one GeniusDitz director. Said troper first noticed the tendency for this situation to generate AccidentalInnuendo when the bell sounds in "Carol of the Bells" were being sung too short, resulting in everyone being ordered to "hold your dongs." Giggling ensued. ** Heh, you too? Happened at my high school as well... * I was once talking about a trio team with some friends, and happened to refer to it as a "threeway." I did not think anything of it until the laughter started. * My friend was being nosy and messing with her sisters camcorder. The start of the tape was full of family stuff. When my sister came in she said "Hey, all your private stuff is on the front." I laughed. No one else got it. * This male troper once, in the middle of the hallway of his dorm along with another half dozen of the residents, found himself roughly six inches from a friend of his that is 6'3 and broad sholdered. It is crucial to realize that he had just showered and was wearing only a towel. This male troper, having not been so close to the guy before, remarked very loudly "I never noticed before, BUT YOU'RE FUCKING HUGE!" Everyone else realized the ramifications of this long before I

did. ** Second incident, I'm in the room of the same guy, watching him play Age of Empires with a bunch of these same guys. The smurfette in the room, who didn't really get the game, remarked that it was "gay". Taking gay in this context to be synonomys with "nerdy", I then proudly remarked "You think that's gay, you don't even want to know what I do in my room all day" (referring to this website, incidentally). There were a few guys who twenty minutes later were still collapsed on their beds wimpering softly with laughter (I have a problem keeping my voice colume down). These were both within a week of each other. I was a good sport about it, but I sort of withdrew a bit afterwards. * This Mormon Troper played a game at a scripture study class where you pulled a word out of a hat and then tried to get your teammates to guess what it was without saying the word. You had to get them to guess as many words as possible within one minute. If you didn't want to do it, you could set it aside and pick another word. I'd already set aside about six words so when I came to the word "preisthood" I said the first thing that came to mind, which unfortunately happened to be "MEN HAVE IT WOMEN DON'T!" If you think Mormon kids don't laugh at dirty are sadly mistaken. ** Would also like to mention that even though people laughed, there were a few who thought I'd said it on purpose and from then on saw me as "that dirty-minded heathen." They were a minority though. * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]], when explaining why he preferred [[SuperMarioBros Luigi's Mansion over Super Mario Sunshine]], proceeded to say that it was more fun to "suck than to squirt". Things got really quiet after that was said... * I, at school one day, was filming a mock-commercial with some friends for sham-Wow. There were two different kinds: checkered and fuzzy. I say to this friend, who is a guy and has all the sham-Wows stuffed in his shorts, 'Ok, the checkered one mops up water, what's that fuzzy thing in your pants do?' Needless to say, the entire room goes dead silent until our teacher pipes up with '[=~That's What She Said~=]!' ** That this troper finds even more amusing about that is the teacher, ''of all people'', was the one who countered it. * This troper was asking her friend for a napkin, which she responds with "I dunno, I gotta pea on it.". Read that over a few times. * My principal said in his first speech at the school, "I love adolescents." We're never gonna let him forget it. * Whenever friends of mine would mumble something or just say something I couldn't hear I'd always reply with "You did what with who for how many cookies?" or "It was just once and I was drunk!" * Once, a friend and I were in Japanese class, and he managed to get me into retorting with "I'll (verb) you!" whenever he said something weird. At one point, our conversation went something like this: -->'''Friend''': Oh, you're a bit imaginative. -->'''Me''': I'll imagine you! -->{{Beat}} -->'''Me''': Oh, God. I didn't mean that! ** I experienced a similar incident. My friend loves to mock me after

I say certain phrases with a "''You're'' (tail end of phrase)." One exchange I remember particularly well: --->'''Me''': Well, that was a bit ''too'' easy. --->'''Friend''': ''You're'' too easy. --->'''* Glaring Ensues. Friend bursts out laughing* ''' * During a conversation about a particular opera singer, this troper sent three grown men - two of whom were pushing fifty, for crying out loud - into a helpless fit of the giggles when she uttered the words "Well, his instrument isn't very large." * When summarizing a recent attempted break in that had resulted in community service to a friend, I ended up using the phrase, "Basically, the three of us were bored, and I had a wire coat hanger, so . ." She stopped when she saw the expression on her male, slightly perverted friend's face. * My math teacher once said one when as the class, there only about 6 of us all male with a female teacher took one of the chocolates someone had brought in and asked what was in it, some said " White stuff" to which she stated "I love white stuff" cue laughter * This actually happened on a forum but the conversation somehow was about two things at the same time one being about pedophiles in white vans and the other about some game and then this happened... -->'''Forum User''': ...candy AND possibly sex with an older man! -->'''Me''': preferably at the same time -->'''Forum User''': ew? -->'''Me''': WAIT! * @/FarseerLolotea fixed coffee this morning, and offered her fiancé the slightly larger mug. He acknowledged it with "You know I like [[MostCommonSuperpower bigger cups]]." * We were working in D&T (woodwork, metal work, whatever you call it) and our teacher was describing our final assignment, which was to make a toy, but he was trying to explain that [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotForKids not all toys are designed for children.]] -->'''Teacher''': I don't mean children toys, I mean adult toysHe noticed and laughed along with us. Luckily. * One sleepover not long ago my friends and I were watching TV. We had been watching 'Whose Line Is It Anyway?', but it had ended and the station went on to infomercials. We watched about five minutes of an infomercial for 'Cricut' , and we were rather sugar-high and had already been making fun of '17 again' for hours. After a short while of searching for something else, we found Cricut to be more entertaining than anything else we can find. Eventually, it got to the customers reviewing the product, and one said somehting along the lines of 'It eliminates the need for all other tools I've bought.' Later, the commercial exclaimed; "But wait! There's more! Call now and we'll add the Deep Cut Blade!' Cue hysterical laughter. * This troper has been taking the bus to a dog-walking gig this last week. Said bus passes a few churches. The sign in front of one church says 'Christ Came to Deliver us from Sin'. Troper hasn't been able to get the image out of her brain since. * I, while playing Phantasy Star Online (its phoenix down is called a moon atomizer) and said "I'm going to moon you!" An embarrassing time. * This troper was watching his friend play [[LegendOfZelda Ocarina of

Time]], using a few cheats on, one of which can make Link grow and shrink. During the cutscene in which Gandondorf imprisons Zelda, he was inadvertanly half as tall as Zelda when she screams and gets stuck in the crystal. [[DidYouJustHaveSex He was also standing right in front of her.]] ** Later, while trying to do the same thing, he got stuck with Link in fastforward, meaning Link was bouncing up and down on his toes. At that same cutscene, [[RapeAsComedy he was twice as tall as Zelda.]] * I have a choir teacher in high school whose personal goal is practically to defy this trope. He has made several purposeful innuendos. ** In one such occasion, we were working on a song, and he commented 'That was close. But close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades, and couples.' Several kids were confused at the 'couples' part, so he decided to demonstrate by turning around and groping his back. Cue several minutes of giggling. ** Also, whenever we've been working really really hard al day and we're all sick of it, he'll joke by pretending to crack a whip and making corresponding sound effects. Usually this just gets a couple of giggles and we move on, but one day everyone giggled a bit too much, and he commented; "Some of you are enjoying that a little too much." HilarityEnsues. ** Later in the year, one girl in the alto section had a bit of a back-and-forth argument with one of the bases, in which our choir teacher commented 'You know, your flirting is really obvious.' At that, one of the sopranos called out 'She has a boyfriend already!' To this, our wonderful teacher comments; 'Well, in htat case I would say what Santa says.' Unfortunately, he had to explain the joke. ** And most recently, he was explaining how your diaphragm works. After a couple of minutes of no success (For those who don't know, the diaphragm is a muscle on your lower stomach), he calls one of the male students forward and asks him to gently punch his diaphragm as he sings. Cue every single word he says sounding extremely suggestive out of context. Later, he had the whole choir "Pair up" and do it to each other. Some of the best quotes were along the lines of: "You don't have to do this if you don't want to." "You don't have to be hard, be gentle." My friend and I just laughed in the back for a while. * While sitting at a basketball game in middle school, [[TheNerdyNinja I]] saw an advertisement reading "Can't Beat Dick's Meat!" * In high school, this troper heard someone say "I love you" to him. [[spoiler: She was describing the letter, as in: "I love 'U'."]] * During lunch one day, my friend was eating a particularly large sandwich. I was oblivious to the fact, until the friend took a big bite and everyone else went "Whoa." I looked up and, without thinking about it, asked, "Wait, how big was it before he put it in his mouth?" * This troper was in a friends house with him and another friend one day. The other friend had gone downstairs for something while the friend whose house it was said to me "Come into the bedroom I have something to show you" I walked in and my response was "Holy Crap it's huge" "Just touch it" "I ain't touching that. It's sick". He was showing me a giant spider on his wall but all we could from downstairs was our other friend laughing his ass off.

* So, I was walking to the bus stop back in middle school and me and my friend were talking about guns for one reason or another. Another person at the bus stop was talking about pregnancy for some reason or another. I blurt out "Well, you need to cock it if you want something to come out the hole" loud enough for both parties to hear. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity follows.]] * This troper once hitched a ride with his female coworker (she just happened to spot me on the way to work and offered the ride) and we were talking about things I can't remember. She was talking about hoping for something, and said to this male troper "Knock on wood, if there's any wood in this car." This troper doesn't think she realized what she said, and he didn't point it out to her. He also hopes it's "accidental". * One time in English class we were being rather rowdy and the teacher couldn't get us to settle down. So one guy said to her (referring to the plastic box/tray/tub thing in which she kept her papers etc.) "Miss, if you want us to keep quiet how about you bang your box on the table?" I stared at him and exclaimed his name with mock indignance, and the funniest look of pure horror spread over his face as he realised what he'd said. * One time in my Creative Living class, some friends and I were sitting around and and talking about random stuff. Then one person said to the girl(who is a vegetarian, by the way) that while she was sleeping, he'd shove meat down her throat. No one really noticed the innuendo, [[DontExplainTheJoke until he pointed it out himself]]. We all burst out in laughter. * My Chemistry teacher got stuck with this so much I am almost convinced she did it on purpose. A few infamous ones: "I want you to feel me to the point of action", and "I want you all to engage in social intercourse." * This troper decided he wanted a new profile picture for his facebook page. He decided he wanted to experiment with negative space, so he took a profile of himself in front of a blue TV screen with steepled fingers in a dark room. The experiment worked, and he uploaded it to his page. Two hours later, he comes back to his computer to see that nobody seeing a profile of his face, they were seeing the space between his hands and his face. It looked like a profile of someone's groin. Needless to say, he quickly edited out his hands, and hoped nobody alerted the facebook staff. * I, as a freshman in high school, was on the cross country team. One of our {{TeamMom}}s liked to buy us helium balloons for each meet, and since we were a bunch of predictable dorks, we would inhale the helium and giggle at each other sounding like The Chipmunks. Troper was asked how she got it to last so long. Troper said, slightly louder than necessary, "Simple - you have to swallow after you suck." Cue the entire bus going silent for a second before busting out laughing, and said little frosh going bright, BRIGHT red. * My science classmates were discussing what Tupac would taste like were he accidentally deposited into a french-fry machine. Cue I looking up from her chemistry notes and snapping, "You're all wrong; he would just taste like meat. (beat) ...That was unfortunate, wasn't it."

* My friend produced a legendary one. The answer was "You just put it in and waggle it around until it goes soft." The question was "How do you cook spaghetti?" * My college physics professor (who frequently went off on tangents about his family) once commented about his wife, "I like to stay on top of her" (meaning he liked to know about her hobbies and the like). Cue nervous giggling from the class. Upon which he asked, "What? Was it something I said?" No one was quite brave enough to point the innuendo out to him. * I had a school history text book that described a part of the Battle of the Marne as: "The French put up stiff resistance, then plunged into the German rear". ** Takes on a whole new meaning now that we have Hetalia, doesn't it. * This troper was once riding in his brother's truck with his brother, and we were talking about a plot hole that came up in {{Yu-Gi-Oh The Abridged Series}}, where Marik says that he's evil when he takes over a person, but when Yami did it he was still a good guy. I responded that Yami had Yugi's permission, and we got to the point where we were talking about why Yugi was considered the main character when Yami did all the work. I told him about how Yugi won a few duels on the show, and the innuendo came when I saw a cat walking along the road as I was saying something. --> '''Me''': And there was even one time when he didn't have the puzzle hanging around his ''(sees cat) kitty!'' Needless to say, [[HilarityEnsues hilarity ensued.]] * This troper tried to describe a sushi roll in its uncut form by touching his thumb to his index finger to form a circle and then holding his hands open in front of him, palms facing each other, about six inches apart. Think the hand symbol for "okay" followed by "Five dollar foot-long" at half size. * This happens a lot to I. Especially around her boyfriend and other perverted friends. I would say something and would not realize that it sounds wrong until someone starts giggling or says along the lines of "Do you even realized what you just said?", or [[TheOffice "That's what she said!"]] * I once saw a poster in a pre-school area of a church with the caption "I keep my hands to myself" and a picture of a disturbingly grinning child with his hands in his lap. * My friend, when discussing why she was eating a lollipop, came out with something along the lines of "People just like to have something in their mouths to suck on." She said this somewhat loudly in the middle of class. * This is what you get when you throw together a group of very tired freshmen practicing for a school event, a senior whose cute and shy voice makes everything sound adorably funny, and a [[@/{{MiraShio}} sophomore]] who has spent too much time on the internet and with innuendo-filled friends to not notice anything slightly off: -->'''Freshman girl''': How did you know whom I was talking about? -->'''Senior''': (referring to himself and a freshman guy) We did a three-way with you, remember? [[spoiler: He was referring to a ''three-way call'', people.]] -->'''Sophomore''': (thinking) Riiiiight.

** To add to that, ''anything'' that doesn't even sound remotely like an innuendo becomes one when said sophomore (now a junior, actually) repeats it to one of her best friends. It's slightly amusing. * This troper was listening to one of her friends describing an OC he'd made up in his head. It could use sonic vibrations to read people's minds, or something like that. [[ADateWithRosiePalms Guess what he named it.]] I tried not to laugh, guys. I really did. And even after saying it, he was [[InnocenceVirginOnStupidity still clueless as to what he had just said]]. --> '''Kid''': What's wrong? I know it's a little geeky, but... * I was recently working on a group project in school. The other two classmates in my group were guys, so they were spitting out filthy jokes left and right. With the sheer number of intentional dirty jokes, it is not very surprising that at least one accidental innuendo would occur. What IS surprising is that fact that I was ''the only one who noticed''. -->'''Classmate''': (Referring to a laptop) Here! Troper! Take this, go ''get it on'', and then bring it back here. * @/{{Popette}}'s friend had a brilliant example. A boy was talking about how hard the life of a whale must be. Then her friend cuts in and says, "You wouldn't have trouble being a whale. All you have to do is lay there, moan and squirt stuff out of your head." Cue laughter. * I was in class when a teacher made one. The innuendo was "This thing is pretty thick and looks hard". What she was referring to was a packet that she was handing out. The teacher didn't seem to notice (or she did but just didn't want to bring attention to it), but a friend and I giggled to ourselves when we heard her say that. Another time was when I was with the same friend while we were playing Super Smash Bros. He noticed my controller wasn't on, and said "Wait, I forgot to turn you on." When I heard him say that, I immediately mentioned that I was putting that in Troper Tales * Happens to ThisTroper and his friends so many times that half the things we say are followed by "And that's not a euphemism". * In sixth grade, this happened to This Troper and her friends so freaking much. You could say anything and we'd all burst out laughing: ** She had a tendency to keep going in and out of the school at recess. When she mentioned this to her friend, her friend said, "In and out and in and out," while making motions with her fingers. We all burst into laughter. ** Another time, they were sitting on the couch and the couch was making squeaking noises. "It sounds like a bed," I said, before my friend said, "rock the bed." ** Yet another time, my friends and I were on the playground. One of my friends said, "Let's do the monkey bars." Cue laughter from both me and my other friend. Actually, now that I think about it, we had accidental innuendo moments every day. ** And in My grade seven year: *** We were in Drama class in a circle and the teacher kept moving everyone around so we didn't get distracted. One boy gets distracted a lot, so the teacher moved him between two girls. He said, "Yeah, I'll fool around with [name] and [name]." There was an awkward pause, then we all burst out laughing, and the teacher took the cue to yell, "TOO

MUCH INFORMATION! We don't need to know who you're going to have sex with!" It took several minutes for this to wear off. *** One of her classmates said, "I'm going to do the string now." It was followed by a boy saying, "How do you do a string?" *** I was holding two dodgeballs in her hand. One of the boys came up to her and said, "Can I have your balls?" I replied quite seriously, "I don't have balls. You do." Cue stunned boy and cheerful me. *** We were talking about math (I take a French class). We were learning this order of math thing called "PEDMAS" and we were told what it was in English (BEDMAS). The innocent boy in our class said, "It's like doing PEDMAS in BED!" There was an awkward pause. Then the whole class burst out laughing except for him. He still doesn't get it to this day. *** One of her friends was sitting on a pole and sliding down it, talking about her crush. Cue the response: "Stop fucking the pole, it's not Evan." She replied, "I can pretend, can't I?" And she started to pretend to rape the pole for real. Hilarity Ensues. * I was recently working in a group on a health project and we were using usb sticks to transfer data from comp to comp. It took about two seconds of people gaping before I realized how wrong "Brian, hand me your stick" sounds. * I was at basketball practice and began to tell her friends, "How flat the balls were," and how they "Needed to be pumped up." * My school usually deals with the number of students taking school buses home by having them line up on the basketball courts in groups according to which bus they catch. On rainy days, they normally line up inside the nearby school hall, which also serves as an indoor gym and is often used for music practices, assemblies and meetings. There are a lot of plastic chairs kept stacked in the hall, which is their default state. On the day in question, the chairs had been used for something but hadn't been restacked. It was raining heavily, and the senior students catching My bus were allowed to wait outside, under shelter, while everyone else remained inside. One of my friends had a megaphone which she used to inform everyone which bus had arrived. Anyway, we were making small talk and waiting when this gem occurred. --->'''Vice Principal''': Are they (meaning the waiting students) sitting on the chairs? Tell them to get off. --->'''Friend''': OK, everyone, get off. [Vice Principal] says get off, so get off. I burst into laughter, had to tell everyone what the joke was and got berated for having a filthy mind. ** Same troper, different example. Every year, my school has an athletics carnival and a swimming carnival. The four school houses rehearse cheers and chants, and the house leaders decide on a theme, pick a song and make up a dance to it. This year, my house captain dragged out an old cheer I've never heard of. One of the lines was '[House] will always be on top'. When it was first rehearsed, I and two others started laughing. It was seriously funny, especially when the entire house chanted it... ** Same troper again. While waiting at the bus lines, I found it quite difficult not to laugh at everyone talking about where they'd get off... they were talking about where they intended to leave the bus

at, of course... * I was in math class one day. Instead of doing math, we were studying for the ACT, and our math teacher was reading grammar rules out of this giant book. When he got to the usage of semicolons, he read out loud "The semicolon is also known as the light period" then stopped, staring at the book. There was a very long pause as everyone stifled giggles, then our teacher looked up from the book and said "I'm trying very hard not to make a joke about that." We all laughed. A lot. * My Computer Science teacher recently complained that her daughter told her she wasn't allowed to use the phrase 'quick and dirty' to describe things and she didn't know why. One of the students replied, "Never use that phrase again." * Is' cousin once gave have a taco with sour cream in it. I said i liked it, and his friend made the joke 'oh, she likes the white stuff!' I groaned and my cousin laughed when his friend realized what he said and went about beet red. * Once during a conversation, My friend said (regarding orange popcicles, mind you) "I've noticed they're much more fun to suck then lick. You get more juice that way, and it doesn't drip." It then took a solid five minutes for [[@/{{SieglindeToSiegmund}} me]] to even get her to realize she'd made an innuendo. * I, when I was pretty small, was talking with my dad, and mentioned that I'd named the stuffed unicorn I was carrying "Horny". He said I had to name it something else, and I had no idea why for /years/. ** Along the same lines, I had a stuffed lion cub that I was going to name "Sucker" before my parents headed me theory being that, well, that's how lion cubs drink milk. Whoops. * Too many to count. I'll just put this mulitple AccidentalInnuendo one: -->'''Best Friend''': Can I have a caramel? Pleeeease?? I'll do anything for you!! Anything! -->'''Me''': That's what she said... -->'''Best Friend''': WHATEVER. Talking to you is so hard! -->'''Me''': I bet it is. -->'''Best Friend''': [[* {{Facepalm}}* ]] Give me a freakin' caramel. NOW. -->'''Me''': For the last freakin' time, no!! I told you, /I/ bought them and /I'm/ sucking on them! Okay?! -->{{Beat}} -->'''Me''': I didn't - ! No! NO! I -- uh -- soup! -- oh -- * goes into [[{{Angrish}} incoherent angry babbling]] and then [[{{facepalm}} facepalms]] partially* -->'''Best Friend''': Joke's on you! -->'''Me''': ClusterFBomb * @/{{TMOH}} can't talk about First Mate Cox (from ''{{Nation}}'') without invoking this trope. ** On fanart: "These days I pretty much only draw Cox." ** On an embarassing case of PerverseSexualLust: "I ''shouldn't'' like Cox, but I do." ** Upon waking up from a MassiveMultiplayerCrossover dream: "I think Cox came up somewhere, too." ** get the idea.

* I have the same problem with Dick Grayson of Nightwing fame. ** "I love Dick!" ** "Dick is awesome!" ** Or, most recent and most embarrassing, I had just gotten some brand-new Robin merchandise and told my friends, "I'm going to be looking at my Dick all the way home!" (I'm a girl...) * At the local renfair, buying a leather vest for my costume, the guy selling to me asks, "Ok, so do you want it smooth likt this * points at one* or rougher like this? * points at other* " I, completely innocently, say, "The second. I like it rough." His reaction, and my female friend I was with, was one of hilarity. * This troper was once playing Munchkin with a large group, including her boyfriend. She got a card for an item only the boyfriend could use, and innocently asked him if he had anything that was two hands big. He responded "You know it", and the room cracked up. I then made it worse by checking his cards and saying "Oh, I see, it's your polearm!". No one has let her forget this. * My boyfriend sometimes openly carries a gun. He was standing at a urinal in a gas station one day, when a man stepped up next to him and asked "Do you have a permit for that?" * One time 2 male friends were annoying my female friend by deliberately hovering over her and following her everywhere. The only thing she was holding was a sandwich, so at one point she turned around and yelled the threat: "STOP THAT OR I'LL SANDWICH THE BOTH OF YOU!" HilarityEnsued. ** The next day she tried to get back at him by bothering him by trying to steal his BLT, which was on a foot long bread roll. He was also eating jelly with a spoon. After several minutes he yells, "Unhand that or I'll spoon you with my breadstick!" * One time in Biology we were testing potassium levels in soil samples. The teacher explained to us that we needed to 'shake the tube vigourously, shove the dip-stick in, wait a couple of minutes, take it out then repeat.' * A friend was trying to untangle his headphones, and asked another guy to help. "Take the end. Pull it. Yank it. Harder!" Cue the sound of many heads whipping around and a facepalm. * Two visual example this time. In Biology, a couple of boys had been messing around with a lock they had taken off of a locker. One of them locked it onto his belt loop, and then couldn't get it undone. Cue the teacher walking in just as one guy is kneeling in front of the other, tugging at his pants and saying 'I can't get this off!' Teacher's face: priceless. ** One time in Math a guy was, for some unknown reason, attempting to use friction to heat up the metal on his phone by rubbing it vigourously against his seat between his legs. He then asked the male teacher if 'it looked hot' * My group of friend has developed a bad, [[AdultChild childish habit]] of saying contradictory things in response to everything, for example the response to 'I just bought a new bag' could be any of the following: 'I'll bag you', 'I'll give you a bag', 'You're a bag' or really anything else that crosses our minds. So one time someone said "come with me to the tuckshop" and I, completely without thinking,

responded with "I'll make you come!" ** Today it happened again. With the same person. It went as follows: "Come on. Hurry up." "I'll come on you!" * hysterical giggling and exclamations of [[AccidentalInnuendo 'Oh God! That's not what I meant!']] *** It happened again even worse yesterday. ---> '''Person 1:''' "Come on, baby" ---> '''Person 2:''' "I'll come on your baby!" * beat* "Wait! [[Squick]]Oh God [[BigNo No!]]" * To quote a physics teacher at this troper's school, while trying to demonstrate friction and heat to her class through rubbing metal rods: --> "I need a big, strong boy to rub this rod for me!"\\ "Rub harder! Faster!"\\ "Oh no! The rod fell off!"\\ "What are you all laughing about? I only asked him to help me rub this rod!" ** Then again, we ''are'' talking about the same teacher who taught her class the wonders of the '''shoehorse''' magnet... * A few years ago, a friend of mine was writing down some math notes. He got to a part about positives and negatives. When he had to write "positive or negative", he shortened it to "p or n". ** That happened to me in sixth grade. The teacher didn't notice until someone pointed it out. Cue laughter that was heard in the other halls very clearly. * This vegetarian troper was with her friends who were grilling hamburgers when one of the patties fell apart. Well, she surprised everyone by picking up the beef and reshaping it into a burger form. Exact words: "Just because I don't eat meat doesn't mean I can't handle it." Cue the boys laughing their asses off. * When I was about 7 or 8, my whole family was in the car late at night, looking for someplace to eat. We got to discussing hybrid meals like brunch, and how there should be one for dinner and breakfast. Naturally, when I suggested "dikfast", my mom was quite upset, while my brother was laughing his head off. * In grade 9, a couple of guy friends has made up this childish rhyme about another friend that went: [insert name here] is a wanker, [name]'s a wanker, [name] is a wanker, stick him in a bin. One of the guys who made up the song had been annoying me by singing it constantly, so completely without thinking, I say "I wish I could do it with you", meaning 'put your name in the song instead of the other guy's, but I can't because your name has the wrong amount of syllables to fit the tune.' Needless to say, that isn't how he interpreted it. * One time a male friend randomly started to massage a female friend's neck. She asks "why are you rubbing me?!" and gets the response of "because I want you to come." * awkward silence lasting a good 10 seconds* No! I meant come to the tuckshop with me!" * Happened to [[UpToEleven almost ridiculous levels]] in a conversation with [[{{Tropers/Alexandra}} this troper]] and her friend. --->'''Me''': That reminds me. Whenever I try to draw with markers, I always end up getting all of my fingers coloured. I don't know how, it just... happens.

--->'''Friend''': Oh my god. same here. I think it's because (it happens to me every time) I go to put the pens in the lid absent mindedly/without looking and I miss the lid about 6 times before I do it. --->'''Me''': I do it without looking too... But it usually gets in in the first time. So maybe it's just because I'm doing everything fastly. * Good luck talking about anything in the genus ''[[ Sula]]'', the family [[ Remizidae]] or the family [[ Paridae]] without running into this. Especially ''[[ Parus major]]''. * This troper once asked his roommate if he liked nuts... Result was awkward silence and then this: -->'''Roommate:''' Never phrase that question in that way ever again. * A friend at school once told a story about how he almost got, and I quote "pounded by a firefighter" the afternoon before he told the story. Naturally he meant "beaten up", but teenagers being as they are, chose the "up the butt" interpretation. Doubles as a CrowningMomentOfFunny for another friend, who was quick to respond by saying "that's sexy". * In high school curent events we played games of Jeopory at the end of each weak. the teacher tended to split the class into two equal teams. i should mention that about half the class were taking this due to the fact that they couldn't get into the year before i recimended freashmen vs. upperclassmen with one team being the Fs and the other the U's it came out in the worst way possible but we got over it * [[{{Komorebi}} This troper's]] young, [[AmbiguouslyAutistic possibly autistic]] candidate-for-step-brother once was asking her mother for candy recommendations. He said he wanted "something soft, that he can suck the juice out of." Her mother actually got somewhat angry and very squicked out, thinking the boy was coming on to her and he had no idea why she had such a reaction. He really did just want some chewy, syrup-infused candy, and he doesn't think about how [[ThatCameOutWrong the way he words things]] may be perceived by others. * My friend has a habit of saying words double at the end of a sentence e.g. "I have to get the bus-bus!" When she does this, she sounds really cute and innocent. One day we were talking about games consoles in registration and she shouted excitedly "I want to play on my wii-wii!" And we were all trying not to laugh until one of us burst out laughing and [[ThatCameOutWrong only then did she get it...]] * My biology teacher once said that, when he was younger, he and some geeks formed a football team (American type). Because they were all geeks, they named their team the [=NADHs=], after a molecule in glycolysis. Unfortunately, this meant that their fans would yell, "Go [=NADHs=]!" Say that out loud when no one's around. * This troper was on a field trip, and a teacher was discussing an oral assessment. Cue me saying "Oral is better. It's easier and more

fun." Luckily, no one noticed. * In one memorable speech, our headteacher was announcing why leather balls would no longer be allowed on school property. The whole thing was pretty hilarious, but then she came up with this gem: "It has come to my attention that some boys have been playing with other boys' balls". * This troper's classmate was playing with a seemingly empty tube of liquid eraser. When he shook it vigorously, some of it splattered on his hand. He was so surprised, he promptly yelled, "Hey look! When I shook this thing, white stuff came out!" * A co-worker of this troper once asked him to keep an eye on her water jug. She came back ten minutes later and I asked why I had to do that, she said people always went for her jugs. Queue me cocking an eyebrow. ** [[YouSaidX Hehehe]], ''cocked''. * A classmate of this troper has frequent and intentional HoYay with one of his friends.[[ShippingGoggles It might be more than intentional]]. A group of us was talking about one of our members hacing a sore throat.The classmate ended up saying "I always get a [[ImmodestOrgasm sore throat]] when I go to REDACTED's." Cue realization. * I used to frequent a TheyMightBeGiants chat room, and at the time their latest release was ''Severe Tire Damage''. Thus, for a while it was remarkably common for people to ask each other if they had STD yet. I imagine something similar must happen more frequently among Saves The Day fans. * This one's cross country coach was giving us a speech on what he would do to win. He frequently goes off on tangents, such as, in the middle of a sentence, mentioning his wife. "I would do anything to win. I would do...I would wife." *cue laughter from the entire team* * My friend told a guy that this troper was sitting beside that we'd slept together. We were roomates on the school trip. He took it the ahem other way... * [[Contributors/{{Taneb}} This Troper]] says these a lot: ** What if you put three on top of eachother? ** I'll touch it. And you can touch mine if you like. ** Who do you know who is willing? * Once at school, a classmate were reading lines out loud from a book we were doing a report on. Realizing the text could sound a ...bit different out of context (It was something like "He pulled himself out of it, and started breathing heavily" and later, a woman saying "...He's mine.")(The reader didn't even intend that), I started laughing, pointing out that it sounded a bit wrong. The rest of the group started laughing too. * Every time I try to explain to people how I beat [[FinalFantasyVI Final Fantasy VI Advance]], it always turns out this way no matter how I try to phrase it: I had Edgar deal the last blow with the Drill during the fight against [[spoiler:Kefka in his OneWingedAngel form]]. Given the [[spoiler:heaven-like background during that last fight, I was also aware of a certain MemeticMutation from TengenToppaGurrenLagann despite not having watched a single episode.]]

(Spoiler'd out in case there's someone reading Troper Tales who HASN'T beaten Final Fantasy VI.) * My sister (13) has recently been heckling my mom. She wants her ear cartilage pierced as well as her second ear hole. This wouldn't be too bad if the phrasing she kept using wasn't so perverted: "I really want my [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean second hole]] [[DoubleEntendre done!]] Every time I hear this I both snicker and end up having [[BileFascination weird]] [[IncestSubtext thoughts]]. * This troper's eighth grade band teacher was attempting to get the flutes with Part 1 (the part that usually has the melody and higher notes) to play, and she announced, "I want all the high people!" Being [[SarcasmMode very mature middle-schoolers]], the whole class laughed. Just as things were beginning to quiet down, though, one of the flutes said, "I don't get it." We laughed harder. * Today for some reason one of my friends would slap anyone who said the word "pound cake" in front of him (it was offensive). In math class, I was describing this ordeal to a classmate, and, not wanting to be slapped, i had to weave around saying the actual word. I chose the first description that unfortunately came to mind: "The twosyllable 'P' word that you put into your mouth." It took a few seconds for me and my friend to process what I had just said, and needless to say, we both broke out in unstoppable teary-eyed laughter (while the usually stoic classmate we were talking to simply smiled). Thank God our class was already loid and unproductive, so no one else noticed. Also, he probably won't let me live this down for a while... * This troper has a slightly (read: very) dirty-minded friend. We were in science together, doing an experiment involving honey. All I said was a simple, innocent, "Mmm, honey." This had to be pointed out by my friend. Sigh. * This troper, due to having no knowledge about slang, cannot go a week without asking a classmate if something he said meant something else. ** ''Ooohhh'', yes. I've had that happen way too many times to count. * Me, in response to a picture of camels in the desert that our geography teacher showed us in class: "Aww, they're so cute! I like camels." I instantly started laughing and muttering, "That came out wrong," but thankfully, no one but the girl next to me (who thought my embarrassment was "adorable," to my bemusement) heard me. * In my gym class, we played lacrosse. One time one of my teammates tried to volunteer me for goalie and I was like, "I don't wanna be goalie! I'll be attacked by balls! Balls just love me!" My other teammate, who was a guy, his face said Squick all over it. The teammate who tried to volunteer me just said, "Uhh..," I yelled, "I DIDN'T MEAN IT THAT WAY!" What I meant by being attack by balls was the year before that I suffered several concussions from being hit with volleyballs. I now have a fear of balls (last one, I swear). * This summer one of the girls I was working with was taking an order of deep fried perogies to the back window and one exploded and some landed on her neck. She had a red mark where it landed and it hurt so she went to see a doctor. Dr: so what happened? friend: a perogie exploded on me.

Dr: oh is that what they call it these days. *wink* * A friend of mine exclaimed - rather loudly - that the weather is making her "wet, sweaty and sticky". Granted, it was snowing/raining all day, but still... * This (female) troper's recent experience in a family-friendly discussion of Pokemon: --> '''Brother:''' Pikachu's voice-actor was female. Does that mean Pikachu is also female? --> '''Troper:''' They always refer to Pikachu as "he" but that doesn't mean anything. --> '''Dad:''' How does one sex a Pokemon? --> '''Troper:''' I guess the same way you do a chick, turn 'em upside-down and spread 'em. --> ''Stunned silence as the exact wording sinks in'' --> '''Dad, Brother:''' ''hysterical laughter'' --> '''Troper:''' I meant chickens! Birds! POULTRY!! * During a field trip at a beach, this troper (and her 12 classmates all female) returned to the bus with our heavy equipment. Our (male) tutor turned to us all and said to us: ---> '''Tutor:''' Right ladies, get onto the bus and take your kit off! (It took him a full minute to realise what he had said whilst we were all crying with laughter.) * Once, I was dicussing zombies with some friends during design class. I was talking about weaponry, and I said that wooden blunts are good for "beating off an individual" and then I realized what I said and immediately declared myself a horrible individual. * This troper really need to stop saying "No thanks, I got a headache" * When this tropers five-year-old brother came up the stairs of the playground structure with a basket ball in one hand and a bouncy ball in the other, her nine-year-old sister said "Ooh, Micah's got balls!". Only this troper and her other sister laughed. * When my wife and I were trying to conceive with [[LawOfInverseFertility predictable results]] she told my grandmother that "getting pregnant is a pain in the ass." Cue my dear, sweet grandmother coming back with "If that's the case, you must not be doing it right!" * At my oldest sister's rehearsal dinner for her wedding, we all did speeches for my sister and her now husband. When it was my grandmother's turn she came up and said something along the lines of "Now *sister's name* and *my brother-in-law's name* get busy all night long!" She had no idea why everyone was laughing into their soup until somebody whispered it into her ear later that night. * [[Lampshaded]] in that every time innuendo has passed by twice with the reply of "That's what she said", my friends and I effectively enter a innuendo Mexican stand-off for the following half hour. * In this tropette's chemistry class we're learning about nuclear chemistry. Let it first be stated that I sit next to two of my friends and we're all [[{{HetaliaAxisPowers}} Hetalia]] fans. We first got our giggles when we heard about the elements Francium and Americium. Then our female teacher who looks around her early thirties or late twenties began talking about half-lifes of radioactive substances and the ones you don't want in your body. Francium has a half-life of 27.5

seconds. Our teacher noticed this and dropped this gem. ->Teacher: See, [[{{LovableSexManiac}} Francium]] has a half life of 27.5 seconds. [[{{CrowningMomentofFunny}} I wouldn't]] [[{{AccidentalInnuendo}} mind having]] [[{{DoubleEntendre}} that inside me.]] ->One of my friends and I attempted to stifle our laughter and the other told us that she knew what we were thinking when she heard us laughing at the end of the period. . 0.... 0. * Although in of itself its not AccidentalInnuendo, this troper likes to trigger them among others by making every poem in Literature Class sound like one. * In Drama class, our teacher wanted everyone to act silly and try to tell us it was ok if we looked lame. But the exact wording was [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything "You're free to suck today!"]] My entire table full of [[CovertPervert too-sweet-and-spazzy-to-look-perverted]] friends and I started laughing. Since there was only [[NiceGuy one guy]] at the table, one of my [[ShipperOnDeck best friends]] looked at me and said "You heard her. Start sucking, Bri." Which made everyone at our table laugh louder and everyone else in the room give us 'Ew' looks. ** As a [[AxisPowersHetalia Hetalia]] fan, half of History class becomes this. But especially [[RapeAsDrama "The Rape of Nanking."]] I keep mentally telling myself to 'stop laughing, it's not funny' but the [[YaoiFangirl yaoi that happens in my head whenever my teacher says those words is too funny.]] * In my art exam, two friends on the table across from me made a bottle of white paint explode (somehow), I hear the boy say "oh my god! It won't stop coming out!" and the girl replied "urgh, the white stuff's all over my hands; no, it's all over me!". I heard this exchange and promptly doubled over laughing. The best thing is that they didn't even realise how bad it sounded! * This troper, though a bit of a CovertPervert, made an accidental innuendo while referring to two characters from a book series she is writing. Said characters have BelligerentSexualTension (and the girl is a very much Type A Tsundere), and I was saying that "if [the girl] ever comes to rule the world, [the guy] is going to get totally screwed." Cue [[LikeBrotherAndSister my best friend]], who I was currently talking to, bursting out laughing, me getting it after a moment, and my LuminescentBlush and cry of, "[[ThatCameOutWrong Not in that way]]!!!" * While our class was discussing Cyrano de Bergerac, when the part where Cyrano is tricking the nun, my teacher says... "Cyrano was riding the nun! ... Wait!" Since most of my class is immature [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]]. * This troper's family often uses the word "sec." "I'll be there in a sec," "Give me a sec," etc. Unfortunately, while my mom and I were getting ready for a trip, this sentence developed: "Give me a sec!" "[[NoJustNo I'll give you lots of]]--[[{{LastSecondWordSwap}} of time! Time]]!" We're trying to use "sec" less now.

* My roommate went to Ecuador for a summer study abroad. She and her (female) friend tried explaining to the (Spanish speaking) bus driver that they were "bed buddies" - i.e. sharing bunk beds. He apparently gave them a knowing wink and spent the rest of the trip thinking they were a couple. * This troper has two of these, both from one art class. Looking at someone's attempt to draw a centipede (they were being deliberately lazy) and commented that he had just drawn [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything a hairy sausage]]. The class laughed their heads off, and did much the same when the teacher said '...that's no reason to start DOING IT!' when talking about a Rubik's Cube. ** There was also a mild one when a student asked a teacher if they could go out(side). Both were male. *** And then there was the library incident. This troper's local library's fiction books are in three sections: children, teen and adult. These sections are based on how difficult to read the book would be and whether the themes would be too complicated for younger people (occasionally, 'questionable content' affects it). When this troper's mother was checking out some Terry Pratchett books ( from the adult section) for him to read, she explained to a librarian that, despite his being in high school, this troper 'really likes to read adult fiction'. Cue him trying to alert her to what she had just said and her not understanding. * Once this troper was watching a movie in Earth Science. The narrator said something along the lines of dragon balls going into a frogs mouth for it to work, and someone blurted "Well, what are you waiting for?" Cue laughter. ---Come to AccidentalInnuendo... ThatCameOutWrong! Oh, god... stop laughing and just get on with it already! Crap, not like that... Just go! Now! * Yeah, right... [[ThatsWhatSheSaid that's what she said]]! * A subversion in that it was intended but coming inside from gym, Evulzboy was gathering balls, (that was accidental) and to put them in the net asked a classmate to let him "see his ballsack." ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AccidentalKiss Dear Tropers, please keep natter off this page! Discussions on what bisexuality is, that some script screwed up the grammar, and that you think example X, Y, or Z is hot/creepy are not actual examples! * this male troper has a female friend who looks almost disturbingly like my mother. one time I was looking at a large map and she walked up beside me. thinking it was my mother I gave her a hug and a kiss of the four head. this may not sound like much but this took place before we have done much more then shake hands. needless to say, my often flush face turned a embarrassing shade of maroon. * A year or two ago back at a church retreat, this female troper was

sitting on some steps with another girl talking about something(forgot what it was)and apparently I'm a funny person. After talking for a little the other girl giggled and said "you're so cute!" to which I turned to her(rather slowly actually because I was thinking of whether to say thanks or say something funny) and was about to say something witty back to her when she kissed me on the lips. Of course, I impulsively flinched back without my mind fully comprehending what was going on and I kind of stared at her with a 'wtf just happened' kind of look. A second later she said to me that she was trying to kiss my cheek and I awkwardly laughed it off trying to write it off as never having happened. A minute or two later a good friend of mine ran up towards us asking about a card game, saving me from having to think of a new topic to talk about. * This editor kissed a (same-sex) friend right on the lips during some sort of gym class event... he didn't mind, and no one saw, (but he had the ultimate blackmail on me for some time). Explanation: Basically, what happened was we were being paired up for something, and I got paired with my best friend at the time, and apparently euphoric, I grabbed his cheeks and planted one on him. In retrospect, I cannot possibly figure out why; if I were gay, that would have been one of those sexual awakening moments, but as it stands, it was just a ''very'' confusing (but [[SuddenlySexuality oddly exciting]]) first kiss. It's also remarkable that no one saw, we were all standing in a row. ** Same here, I don't want another NoodleIncident. ** On a related matter, [[Tropers/TheNerdyNinja this troper]] had a friend at camp who, when he and a (male) counselor pretended to kiss, ended up accidentally kissing. In front of the entire cabin. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]]. ** It's possible someone ''did'' see, but were too shocked/weirded out/whatever to comment and just kept it to themselves... * May not be an accidental Kiss, but this male troper was kissed by a guy in his sleep in the classroom... * This Troper was once hugging an opposite gendered friend goodbye. Both of our heads went left, then both our heads went right. Then we shook hands. That was technically This Troper's first kiss. ** This Troper wonders if he wrote that, some years ago.... it happened to This Troper too * This troper was out drinking with a bunch of college pals (isn't that always how these stories begin) when he accidentally (really!) leaned in and crossed lips with a member of the girls soccer team. * This Troper once said goodbye to his mother. Mother in a very sleepy state. Accident happened. [[{{Main/Squick}} Couldn't sleep all night...]] ** That's not too bad since it's your mother. Unless it was some [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean other type of kiss]] than the one this troper is thinking about. * This troper and her best friend both had extreme, coinciding CloudCuckoolander moments that led to an AccidentalKiss. We both turned to each other at the end of school, said goodbye mum and kissed on the lips. Thank God we were alone in the hall and didn't have to explain our ensuing hysteria to anyone.

* [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This Troper]] was just going to give a new (then) girlfriend a platonic peck on the cheek - [[{{First Kiss}}it turned into a French kiss]]. This Troper also remembers it quite fondly. * At one Halloween party this troper was at we decided to play "The Paper Bag Game" in which you take a paper bag and pass it around a circle with your mouths and rip a piece off of the bag each time. When it got to this troper it was very tiny and that led to her accidental, first kiss...with another girl (she would have preferred a boy). * At a recent party, this Troper (gay male) participated in a grown-up game of Spin the Bottle. Despite the gender ratio being about 70% male in this particular game, for the first half of the game, every single spin paired him with a girl. Which, though pleasant, was sort of not what he was going for. ** Though pleasant? You might be bi, dude. *** The physical act is pleasant regardless of orientation. **** In short: YMMV on what counts on being pleasant and what counts on being bisexual. No need for a massive discussion. * My roommate was obsessed with stage kissing, primarily because she had no opportunity to do so in our production. Finally, in a fit of desperation, she decided it would be a good idea to use me just to try stage kissing of the sort where one's hand remains in the way of lip contact. Her hand was misplaced and we accidentally kissed. In the words of our male friend who was present, "I finally got my wish to see you two (girls) kiss and your head was in the way!" * [[{{Tropers/Weimann}} This troper]] once [[FirstKiss french kissed his brother]]. It was at about age 13 or 14, his brother being two years younger. They were lying on top of their aunt's bed, just resting, but facing each other. It was long ago, so he doesn't remember how, but suddenly our lips met and somehow our tongues slipped out. Since we were both half-sleeping, I just noted that that felt pretty good, before realizing what actually happened and jerking his head away fast. He never spoke of it, and neither did his brother. It's possible his brother was asleep all the time, but he still [[{{Squick}} winces]] a bit thinking back at it. ** This Troper has to agree completely. It's happened between her and her younger brother. Moments like that, I find very Squicky... *Shudders* ** This Troper can relate, as she once accidentally kissed her younger sister while fighting in the hallway. It lasted less than a second, but the damage was done. The family had clam chowder for dinner later; I hasn't liked the soup since. Amusingly an incident with the same younger sibling (where the classic [[{{Squick}} "sticking your tongue out at each other is not a good idea"]] accident came into play) happened 3 years prior. * Me and a same-sex friend were wresling on a couch and she pinned me. Soso when we decided to get up and go dye my hair, I got up a little too quickly. Whoops. * This troper was leaning over to kiss her boyfriend on the cheek. He was turning his head to tell me something. Lips collided. Neither of us minded, but that day we learned something- Kissing + Giggling = Awkward. If you must do both, please, complete the latter before

engaging in the former. Well, [[{{Rule36}} Unless you]] ''[[{{Rule36}} really]]'' [[{{Rule36}} like that sort of thing...]] * A Puerto Rican friend of This Troper's tells of once going to greet a friend of the same sex with a kiss on the cheek, as is, apparently, customary in Puerto Rico. Unfortunately they were both a little offtarget... * (Female) Happened to me twice. In grade three my (same sex) friend and I went for each other's cheeks and had our aim a bit off. Last year (grade 10) I was talking to my male friend when his girlfriend (who was somewhat high on sugar) bounced up to us and threw her arms around both our shoulders, which had the result of pushing us toward each other. Hilarity Ensued. Also, this happened a couple of times to friends of mine. First time was in grade 8. We were at a Christmas party (no, we weren't drunk) and one of my friends was singing really annoyingly, so the other (also female) warns her (jokingly) that she'll kiss her if she doesn't shut up. She is dared to do so, further threatening/daring etc ensues until they both ended up leaning up/down at the same time. Hilarity Ensued. They continue to insist that it was the others' fault whenever the subject is brought up. The other time was when two female friends were posing for a photo with their tongues poked out and leant a little too close. ** A friend of this troper uses this trope to set up couples. Whenever she sees a guy and a girl facing each other who she thinks would make a good couple she jumps towards them and throws them into an impromptu group hug that often results in the victims getting an accidental kiss. No couples have resulted yet though several interesting stories have. * This Troper has trouble reading body language, and is kind of uncoordinated. These have happened ''twice''. Well, at least one of the times it was mutually accidental, but the other was [[FirstKiss really unpleasant]] for a first kiss and seemed to come practically out of the blue-- though I only realised later the other person had probably orchestrated it all along. * Once a friend of [[{{Tropers/Dinru}} this troper]] tried to ''invoke'' it. He walked up behind her and a friend of hers and just squashed their heads together. It didn't work. [[AllLoveIsUnrequited Damn.]] (But then, the two people nearly squashed together are now dating. Hm.) ** Seems like it worked after all! Just not quite in the way intended. :D Yeah, [[Tropers/MalachiteDragon this troper]] is a glass half full kinda guy. On a somewhat related note, my first one was an accidental one... waaaaay back in first grade, my best friend/crush at the time. We were being stupid and yelling at each other during recess, and I leaned forward a little too quickly... Yeah. Haven't seen her since the first grade, though, wonder where she went? * This Troper has woken up, still a bit drunk, to find a friend sleeping extremely close meaning that, on more than one occasion, she has turned her head and accidentally bumped lips. Thankfully any of the people this has happened with never woke up and this Troper enjoys the private knowledge that she's kissed everyone in the friendship group. It makes some conversations funnier; specifically 'who was your first kiss with?'

* This troper went to hug his female friend. He leaned left and she leaned right (everyone knows you're supposed to lean left!) and this troper wound up kissing her nose. She thought it was sweet. * This troper had this happen to him after his formal, with his date who he was "just friends" with. We had just come back to her house after the afterparty, and this troper had resigned myself to the fact that we were just friends, and went to give her a kiss on the cheek goodnight. However, we were both drunk, so somehow it turned into a full blown make-out session. We're now dating. Hoorah. * This male troper accidentally kissed a female friend on the hand in like second grade. No one seemed to notice, despite it happening at a crowded lunch table. Ironically, this was the friend that everyone accused the troper of having a crush on (despite their being just friends) and of kissing behind the bushes at recess (which didn't happen). * This troper was pretending to kiss a male friend as a joke. Unfortunately someone shoved him and... awkward... * Happened to This Troper in a kinda funny way. It was just before our last performance of our school play, so energies were high already. He and another (male) member of the chorus had a kind of running visual joke where they would stare at each other bug eyed while alternately bringing their face close in to the other person's (sorta like peering into their eyes close up). Anyway, the other guy stared... then he stared, bringing his face in closer... then the other guy stared, bringing his own face in closer still... then he stared, bringing his own face so close in that completely by accident he kissed the other guy full on the lips. There was a one-second pause as what had happened registered in their brains, and they both burst out laughing. And there was quite a lot of HoYay between the two during the rest of the night. * This Troper's seen this both straight and subverted: ** In his Calc class, there were two guys who always acted gay, just like the rest of the class. One day, one of them was eating pretzel sticks; the other asked if he could have one, so the first finished and put another barely in his mouth. Person B eats it. It then became a daily thing that they would take some small food thing and try to eat it, [[TemptingFate without actually kissing]]. Successful: smaller pretzel sticks (up to an eighth of a stick), various fruit snacks, an almond. Unsuccessful: Part of a peanut. ** The subversion had two of his friends, who were going out. They were sitting cross-legged, her practically on his ''lap'', heads together, noses touching the others cheek. And they would just sit like that and talk. Their lips were, at most, half an inch apart, and they were just idly chatting it up. In front of anyone who was nearby. It was actually pretty frustrating; because they were facing opposite directions, it was impossible to be stealthy enough to give one of their necks a little, tiny push... * When [[{{Tropers/MiraShio}} I]] was asleep in the clinic in second grade, my male classmates allegedly pushed a guy towards me, causing him to kiss me. Thank God I found out it wasn't true. * This troper's friend tends to accidentally bump her lips onto her classmates' cheeks on various school trips, A LOT.

* The exact opposite happened to me. I tried to kiss my first boyfriend back in middle school but he turned his head and I ended up getting his ear. * This Troper had it happen once while playing cosplay chess at an anime con. She and her new friend were dressed as two [[{{KingdomHearts}} male characters]]. Said troper was captured, but in her death throes fell on top of her new friend. [[{{HoYay}} Both]] [[{{LesYay}} camps]] became very amused. * This (now asexual, then straight with crushes on cartoons) troper was in kindergarten when she accidentally kissed a female friend on the lips. The worst part? There are strict rules against kissing at that school, but [[FamilyUnfriendlyAesop I lied about it when questioned and got away fine.]] Although, now I'm wondering how well I could get away with it with another female classmate (now at a school in a different town) who I kinda have a crush on. * I was saying good-bye to a friend in high school. Both of us being girls, we acted all girly, hugging each other good bye. I turned my head to peck her on her cheek when she turned my way and returned the kiss. I still don't know what her boyfriend's reaction was when he saw that. * My friend had a crush on one of our friends. So she was eating chocolate, and he wanted some, so she put the last piece in her mouth and said "What you gonna do?" So he walked up to her and was going to open her mouth with his hands to try and grab the chocolate, when I bumped into him forcing a kiss. They both turned red after this and then they proceeded to go out for a year after that. ** So the PG version of SexEqualsLove then? * This Troper mentioned trying to lick your ear in casual conversation, and both of his friends immediately tried to pull it off. They each happened to try to lick the ear facing each other, leaned in, and their tongues touched. Hilarity Ensued. * This troper, in the second grade at the oldest, had his first kiss when his crush (female) inexplicably tripped over him. It was a split second peck on the lips, but still. Then his two male classmates (the only witnesses) spontaneously kissed each other. As this troper now identifies himself as bi, that day, in retrospect, was very exciting indeed. * This troper was at a friend's birthday party. When her friend next to her was served cake, she proceeded to sneakily take said cake while her friend wasn't looking. Her friend noticed when she had the cake halfway in her mouth. This troper looked at her with a piece of the cake sticking out of her mouth and raised an eyebrow in an "I dare you" fashion. Her friend proceeded to bite the piece, but came in a little too close and ended up in an accidental kiss. * This male troper's first kiss was accidental, but in a very... nice way. This troper had gone out with a new (female) friend and another friend, having somewhat flirted with her all night long (in a very friendly, unserious way). We all headed back to my home, where they were going to drop me off before heading to their homes, and I tried to kiss her on the cheek, at which she turned her head a bit the other way, resulting in a almost kiss. Now, being a 15-year-old (at the time) {{Chivalrous Pervert}}, I leaned back with a grin and a very sly

"You wanted a full one, don't you?". Cue her grabbing me for a full make-out session. For my first kiss. And we going out for some nice 45 months later. Taking into account her huge...[[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail tracts of land]], I can say I was very lucky, after all. * [[Tropers/SoS This Troper]] had one earlier this week, sort of... He had met up with some female friends, and one of them had the bright idea to play "friend kiss chicken". He obliged, figuring she'd probably back off first, and he had a lot of male pride. Neither of them backed off, and they smooched. It was pretty good too. * This troper and one of his few female friends accidentally kissed. She tripped, I caught her, and she was a bit taller than me, though not too much. Me, while not being ugly, am not the best looking fellow, so I apologized quite quickly. The people around us didn't really see us kiss, so everyone assumed I tripped her. To save her embarrassment, I accepted the blame. She's been quite nice to me lately. * This troper and her girlfriend got together after an accidental kiss. We were both faintly drunk, camping, in the middle of freakin' nowhere, with a bunch of other girls. The other girls were all asleep. We had stayed up to talk and drink beer, in sleeping bags, outside the tent, by the lakeside. My now-girlfriend leaned over to reach another beer at the same time I shifted my weight to sit more comfortably, and we kissed. And then broke apart. I could ''see'' the thoughts going across her face at high speed, and then she leaned forwards and kissed me again. I had been in love with her for a year and a half, so I was [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome less than upset]]. The others found us in a curled-together SleepCute the next morning, and to this day have no idea that we did anything more than drink beer and gossip. Best night of my life. * This troper was at a party once, and for the amusement of a fellow straight male friend's girlfriend, started playing gay chicken. It is important to note that, in this particular circle of friends, playing gay chicken is very common. The two of us, specifically, are the kings of gay chicken in this group, outside of our actual gay friends, of course. So, with neither man willing to back off easily, we both leaned in too far and shared a rather pronounced kiss on the lips. Said friend's girlfriend was highly amused and demanded an encore. * This Troper very nearly experienced this trope. He was at a party at a friend's house, sitting on the couch next to another (male) friend. A female friend mentioned something about being called a bitch, and the discussion at the party turned to how meaningless a thing like the word "bitch" was, a point which This Troper demonstrated by leaning up very close to his male friend on the couch and saying, loudly, into his ear, "BITCH." The friend turned his head, and our noses touched, our lips barely separated by a tiny increment. We sprang apart, and quickly asserted to ourselves that "It was only nose!" Admittedly, with all the HoYay in our circle, even if the trope had been played straight, I doubt it would have been that big a deal. * This Troper was at a cast pool party with several fellow actors following a performance, and saw an interesting version of this trope when a couple of the boys decided to play gay chicken. Now gay chicken

was nothing new, but this instance was particularly hilarious (and fun to watch, considering they were both [[EstrogenBrigadeBait dripping wet and shirtless]].) They leaned in, stumbled, thrashed under the water for a bit, and when they both popped up the conversation went something like this: "You bit my ear!" "You grabbed my ass!" "I grab everyone's ass." Considering the massive [[HoYay HoYay]] that tends to go on backstage, no one thought much of this, but it was still one of the [[HilarityEnsues funniest]] things any of us had ever seen. * In the game "Birdie on a Perch," players partner up and a caller calls such commands as "Elbow to elbow!" and "Back to back!" until they say "Birdie on a perch!" and one partner jumps on the other's back. Well... let's just say nose to nose and cheek to cheek generate some interesting results if you're moving too fast. * This troper had a spectacular one of these that became a very intentional kiss. His boyfriend (who he had only kissed once before at the time) opened the door to an "empty" classroom right as this troper was about to throw it open and run out. Cue spectacular collision and awkward lip connection, followed by unexpectedly awesome kiss. * This troper[female] has done it a lot. Not to mention I give [[MarshmallowHell hugs]] that are tight-gripping and likes to glomp her friends a lot. Once, when really happy someone did something for her, she hugged them, and we were ice-skating at the moment resulting in, -->Female Friend: ROYCE! -->Me: -skids- What? -->FF: We're... then we fell. My tongue slid into her mouth and [[{{First Kiss}}it turned into a French kiss]] with a first kiss included. Now, this was on a field trip and everyone saw. Now I am much of a cold person and run away whenever someone has the real name of 'Trang.'. * This troper had a rather interesting one (as well as {{First Kiss}}) in 5th grade. A female friend and I were in gym class during a rollerblading activity and we were side-by-side just enjoying ourselves... [[{{Kids are Cruel}} until some kid pushes me in towards her]] and we lip-locked right in the middle of the gym. We both kinda just stared at each other awkwardly for a second before going back to what we were doing. About a week later, we started dating (as much as we could as 5th graders). * This troper ended up with his FirstKiss that way when a sassy lesbian was being her annoying self to my chagrin and I called her out on it,she came up to my face yelled something but got her lips to touch mine. * This troper's seven-year-old brother frequently does this. It's completely by accident, but since this troper's family is generally very squirmy and find it difficult to stay still it happens a lot. * This troper bumped into a then fellow eleven year old girl and this happened. To be honest, it was really short, so it probably didn't count. Nevertheless, it was enough for her to use as blackmail. Well, enough truth to elaborate upon anyway. ---I swear I didn't mean to go back to AccidentalKiss! Honest! ----


AccidentalPun * Along with my extremely awful IncrediblyLamePun[=s=], these are also a common problem for me. They're also just as lame. * "I don't hate you because you're gay, I hate you because you're a gaping asshole." ** And then I was asked to resign, but that's alright, because he was fired a month later. * This Tropette was roleplaying a lesbian character who tried to think of kittens to get her mind off of sex. She phrased it "thinking of pussycats". * This troper was once in an all city ochestra and when break came around my friends from other schools and I were talking about cool songs we did last year. I was like, "We did PhantomOfTheOpera and Music of the Night and they were fantastic (phantastic)". My friend said it was one of the greatest puns she's ever heard. * This Troper has a habit of doing them, but usually doesn't pick up on it until someone points it out. Cue head meeting desk. * A conversation with my girlfriend: --> '''GF:''' I made my mom's ringtone the Series/{{Batman}} contact is listed as Batman :3 --> '''Me:''' THAT. IS. [[BatmanBeyond BEYOND]]. AWESOME. -->, no pun intended... * From [[@/UltimateChimera this troper's]] Modern History class: --> '''Teacher''': "So make sure you keep an open mind an-" --> '''Student''': "Uggghh..." --> '''Teacher''': "What?" --> '''Student''': "That was a terrible pun." --> '''Teacher''': "Huh?" --> '''Student''': "You said keep an open mind... and we just saw JFK get shot in the head." * In a [[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment recent conversation I had today]], a friend and I were talking about horny sea creatures. She mentioned horny narwhals. I informed her that they were actually just teeth, and she was confused. Upon further questioning, I found out that she didn't even realize what a great pun she had made. * [[@/{{Nyperold}} This troper]]'s cognitive processes are [[PungeonMaster geared toward puns]], so it is to some extent no surprise that he would occasionally phrase something in a punny way without realizing it. He usually catches it in time to add something like "(Pun not intended, but not refused, either.)" at the end. [[HurricaneOfPuns (The vast majority of his puns are intentional, however.)]] He also has a habit of noticing other people's accidental puns. * [[@/{{OhNoes}} This Troper]]'s friends are veritable FONTS for these. Some include: -->(while walking along rocked embedded in a stream to cross it) '''Friend''': "Because the bridge is TOO MAINSTREAM!" * This Troper became a source of these whilst talking to herself and

playing {{Persona 4}}. Highlights included "Is everybody cool with that? (after checking to see if the enemies were okay with Ice Attacks)" and "I have Satan! Thank God!" ---I would not be [[strike:lion]] lying if I told you that [[AccidentalPun this button]] would bring you back to the [[strike:mane]] main page.

AccidentalTruth * A couple of years ago ThisTroper made a fake screenshot of [[SuperMode Super]] [[SonicTheHedgehog Sonic]] in GreenHillZone from [[Game/SonicTheHedgehog Sonic 1]]. Fast forward to several days, and to my surprise, I discovered a ROM hack that added Super Sonic to Sonic 1.

AccidentalUnfortunateGesture * This Troper has seen several people she know point with their [[FlippingTheBird middle finger.]] Including her 8th-grade teacher. * The person promoting immersion foreign language lessons at this troper's high school consistently opened her sales pitch with a story in which a University of Texas alumna attempted to get the attention of a handsome fellow alumnus across a crowded Italian square by flashing the university's [[ signature hand gesture.]]

AcheyScars * This She-troper has a scar that starts at the corner of her right eye, and extends down the bridge of her nose. Needless to say, it hurts like hell when she cries what with salt and all that. * This troper has a scar on her forehead(it's mostly faded by now) that she got from running into the corner of a bedpost when she was younger that was oddly reminiscent of Harry Potter and use to ache all the time. Cue jokes about me being the child that survived and whatnot. * This troper has several scars on her thigh from self-injury that always ache when she's in a bad mood. Severe depression causes it to feel like being stabbed. * This type of pain is usually of [[YourMindMakesItReal psychological]] origins. For example, if you have a scar on your arm from a jigsaw-related accident, there's a great chance that if you even see a jigsaw, or hear it working, that scar will hurt a bit. See also: [[ phantom pain]]. ** I can't be the only person here whose first thought was of jigsaw ''puzzles''... *** Never even occurred to me to think of the ''saw'' as opposed to the puzzle until your comment. *** This Troper now has an image of someone being seriously injured in

a jigsaw puzzle accident. **** This Troper is a jigsaw-puzzle fanatic, and is now looking over at her latest project with great worry. ***** This Troper's best friend has a scar from a wooden jigsaw puzzle piece. Don't use them as slingshot projectiles. **** And this thread right here is exactly why I love being a troper. * This can occur if a scar develops into a [[ keloid (WARNING: POSSIBLY DISTURBING PHOTOS.)]]. * One troper has an appendectomy scar that occasionally aches for reasons not entirely clear. ** Must mean it's gonna rain. *** I thought that was swollen joints. * [[ Adhesions]] can result as a junction between scar and normal tissue. Believe me, these hurt * Nerve damage can result in this too ** Or when the scar tissue is putting pressure on a nerve bundle. * Yup, like shingles. Years afterwards- tingly pain, numbness... AND (as the icing on the cake) total lack of sensation.... * [[{{Tropers/Sharysa}} This troper]] has three scars from when she was a baby: A crescent-shaped one on the back of her hand, which her parents cannot decide how she received (Dad says a nurse accidentally scratched my hand with a needle, Mom says it's a burn), and two scars on her stomach from a hernia operation and the subsequent feeding tube. Her operation scars ache after straining her stomach muscles, which is a boringly logical reason, but her hand scar only aches after some sort of significant impact (falling and catching herself) or lifting something heavy. It's supposed to be dead scar tissue by now, and having pain shoot through her hand like she just wrote with a [[HarryPotter Blood Quill]] is NOT fun. ** Scar tissue in bones dilates differently than normal bone tissue. * [[Tropers/{{Gerusz}} This troper]] has such a scar in his right hand and it can hurt a lot when exposed to sudden changes in temperature. * Not sure if it goes here, but this troper's boyfriend broke his hand in multiple places rather badly a few years ago. Ever since then, he's had what he describes as a constant dull ache in the one hand. Usually he's completely functional, but I've woken up a couple of times to him curled up in a little ball whimpering because of the pain in his joints. Not fun. * Both played straight and averted by this troper. I had back surgery over 20 years ago, and have scar tissue inside and outside. The ''inside'' scar tissue hurts like hell sometimes, but the exterior, visible scar tissue is completely dead. * This troper has a rather nasty example. Due to getting molten asphalt stuck to his hands years ago, his palms are noticeably discolored. Occasionally, though, he gets a... ''gnawing'' feeling in them. Feels like bugs are trying to chew their way in. It's vaguely reminiscent of the burn, but he suspects it's at least partly psychological. * Hi all. *sigh* You can call me Lucky, although I'm not....Anyway, I, too, have aches. My hips leave me whimpering like that poor fella up

two posts. Only when it's very cold, though. I am FortunateKitsune, formerly SparklingAngel. Yay for easily forgotten passwords. * I get keloid scars, which truly suck. The biggest is from when I fell down the stairs and had the skin of my elbow ripped off by a nail. The stitches scarred as well, so it looks like one giant centipede. I had surgery to reduce it, as it freaking HURT, but I still have a scarring problem. I got this thing called foliculitis and basically, I'm now covered in tiny scars from hair folicules getting infected. They were so itchy I scratched without knowing it. Now my lower legs, thighs, stomach, breasts, and arms have scarring. Most are fading, though, but the largest ones hurt to touch. Mercifully, my back surgery scar only hurts when it rains. * This troper once fell and injured her knee, rendering it unusable for several weeks. Although there is no visible scarring, it frequently pops or clicks, and when the weather changes rapidly, it starts to ache like the dickens. * [[Tropers/{{endlessness}} This troper]] has one of those on his right knee, from a bicycle accident some 11 years ago. Not that it hurts, but sometimes it itches EXTREMELY annoyingly. * This troper has 3 major scars. Two on the back of his shoulders, each about a finger thick and only half as long as a finger, from a very bad case of Acne and one on his knee where he fell into his bycicle, and had to get it stitched together because you could see the bone. Only the ones on the shoulder are itchy, fortunately not all the time and just when being to hot. * [[Tropers/{{Smerf}} This]] troper's machete scar doesn't ache, but it sure as hell still itches. * This Troper broke her arm (not entirely sure if this counts) a year or two back, right below the shoulder. Though normally it's fine, it aches a lot when the weather is about the change. My own personal forecast... * This Troper had his right hand doused in liquid CO2 after a canister had its safety valve sheared off. After recovering from what were the equivalent of 3rd degree burns, the skin grew back quite nicely with minimal discoloration and there's hardly any evidence of the accident ... except the occasional sensation that someone is sticking 1000 needles through my palm. * I have a raised lump over the area where I had surgery (not as large as a keloid, but looks similar) that can itch badly at times. The other scars I have don't hurt at all. * This troper was stabbed in the back with a compass, just along the right shoulder blade, which still plays at certain temperatures. On the bright side, [[LaserGuidedKarma the offending chap broke his leg less than a week later]], so I feel less than bitter at him (not due to vengeance, I swear). * This troper was cut with a large kitchen knife when she was younger. I'm still not exactly sure what happened, but it had something to do with me falling on the knife. I have three diagonal scars across my face that ache when I'm really mad. They look like the scars Remus Lupin has in the 3rd HP movie, so I get a lot of jokes about that from my friends (HP fanatics) * This troper had

[[ pg snakebites]] that were done badly (tip: if a place advertises $20 piercings, there's probably a reason). I was allergic to the jewelry, a lot of trauma happened to the area during the piercing (there was visible bruising), they got infected, and they were still bloody and painful after three months when I finally took them out. To this day, I can feel the...well, ''tunnels'' where the piercings were, and I'll get a stabbing pain if something hot or acidic hits my lip. * No visible scars in this troper's case, but a sports injury to my left knee occasionally aches in cold or wet weather, and occasionally I'll wake up to what I believe is called a "charlie-horse" that causes me to scream in pain and limp for half a day. * Edgy has a cartilage piercing that never healed probably and still hurts if messed with years after he let it heal up. ---Go back to AcheyScars, even if that old wound still hurts! ----

AchievementsInIgnorance * This Dutch kid knew better English than any teacher at his school by age 8. How? creative use of subtitled cartoons. * This is pretty much why everything my brother does succeeds. * When this trooper was in kindergarten, she read ''The Hobbit,'' surrounded by classmates mouthing out the words to TheBerensteinBears. She picked it up on the logic that "I like and understand dragons. This book has a dragon on the cover. This book should make sense." And so it did. * This bit from the main page "Susan Sto-Helit successfully teaching seven year-olds algebra and, when told it's too hard for them, replies that so far they haven't figured that out." Though examples of children learning something before adults would think they're ready to learn it are probably Truth In Television. A bright child may be reading books meant for adults by the age of eight or ten, though they probably won't understand everything they read" really sums up [[TheWanderer this troper's]] reading ability as a kid. No one told me that it was unusual to pick up a book on my own and start reading for pleasure at 3, or to start reading LordOfTheRings at age 7. And yes, in the case of more complex material like Lord of the Rings, I got much more out of it during various rereads through the years. ** This troper had the same sort of thing. I was reading high school level books in third grade, and and easily read a full novel in an hour or two. ** Same here. I've been reading the full length Star Trek novels since third grade. In fact, my mother actually encouraged this. ** Same here. both myself and my little sis were reading college-level books when we were in 8th grade. I was all like 'but they're in our school library! Shouldn't they be at our level!?' ** This troper had a reading age of 14. When he was 8. ** ...well I was reading at a high school level pretty much as soon as I actually bothered learning to read (beginning of first grade so older 6), and by the end of the year (7) was reading at a college

level. But, before that I was so fascinated with animals that I would pick obscure animals and get a bunch of books on them (and make my mom read them). Since this was the early '90s (no internet) that basically meant college level stuff. I had a larger vocabulary before I could read then most people ever attain. ** And I was reading at least at a 6th grade level -- ''and'' understanding everything I was reading -- at the age of four. My mom "taught" me how to read by reading out street signs when I was 1, and I can recall reading real books when I was 2 in my grandparents' back yard. When I took a standardized test in the 5th grade, my reading comprehension and vocabulary skills were both ranked "past high school". So add me to the list of "examples of why it's not good to paint with a broad brush" there. ** I had a 9th grade reading level in 5th grade, which isn't astounding by itself compared to other people on this page, but has an interesting story to go with it. In elementary school we had books marked for different reading levels and weren't allowed to read above ours (well, we could, but they didn't like us doing so). Before the test that showed my 9th grade level I had a 3rd grade level (don't ask how I managed to jump 6 levels in a year), so I ended up having the teacher take a 4th grade book from me because it was too high (even though I wasn't having trouble with it). A few months later it's revealed that I have one of the higher reading levels in the school (beaten only by the advanced class kids, most of which happened to be my friends). ** This troper hated when early grades had read-alongs where students would take turns reading out loud because he kept reading ahead of the rest of the students, and then got in trouble with the teachers when he didn't know where they were when it was his turn to read out loud. *** happened all the time, eventually half my teachers gave up and would just not call on me because i would always do this but still get the tests right... ** I don't think the problem lies in our extended abilities to read but in our failure to properly rate at what level your able to read. * The other kids in my elementary-school reading group were convinced I was cheating when I read without talking. I didn't really realize that was the norm until that day. ** This troper, a similarly gifted reader, had no idea that reading without sounding things out, in early elementary school, ''wasn't'' normal, and quietly pitied (and snickered at) the kids who couldn't. ** [[{{Tropers/Absynthe}} I]] had real problems in first grade because they made me take phonics. I'd been reading independently since age 3, ''because I wanted to.'' I read Pearls of Lutra by Brian Jacques at age 5 (which is about 300 pages and marketed to older audiences), and once when I had just started reading my parents found me reading Dr. Seuss backwards when I got tired of reading it forwards. I had no idea that other people couldn't do this, and got annoyed when my classmates struggled over words. ** I read the Dragonlance series when I was in 5th grade, or around 9 or 10 years old. * This troper has achieved impressive Photoshop-like effects in Adobe Photo Deluxe (a very nerfed photo editing program that came with her

printer), mainly because she never knew it wasn't suppose to be capable of that, and afterwards saw no reason to stop. * [[{{Tropes/Beyondnor}} Personally]] I have suffered from this and TooDumbToLive...SIMULTANEOUSLY. I had can-opened a soup can, and I didn't want to have to push the metal lid down into the glop to get it out ( I don't like many foods), so I, being brilliant, grab a fridge magnet and plop it up, only to realize it was hanging by a tiny shred. So, logically, I think "Well if I grab it I can just twist it loose." Did I grab the flat sides? No, I gripped the edge and sliced my finger a little. -round of applause* This troper in 3rd grade finished Order of the Phoenix in a day. In 5th grade I had a 13th grade reading level. Like some people said I always wondered why the kids couldn't read quietly. I also pity the people who can't read quickly. * While not as impressive as some of the other examples on this page, this troper managed to read all of ''War and Peace'' in six days. During school time (my school works us half to death and we have ridiculously long hours). This troper also managed to read all of Book 2 of ''The Faerie Queene'' in one day. In addition, this troper reads aloud quickly and fluently and didn't know other people weren't like her until she was in year seven. * While not as impressive as some of the other stories here, [[{{Tropers/teamphineas}}This Tropette]] was reading picture books unassisted at the age of 4, and was reading chapter books by the age of 6. * [[{{@/MarinaDelGrapes}} I]] taught myself to read before I could talk, was reading classic novels by preschool age, and... picked up ''The Hobbit'' at age ten, found it incredibly boring, and did not finish it until age fourteen. Played straight and subverted in my case. * This troper remembers, at age 6, reading "Mr Impossible" from the Mr Men books, and being amused that the characters thought ''reading upside-down'' was impossible. Never had any difficulty doing that. * This troper ({{Tropers/ElegantVamp}}, my profile DOES exist) taught herself to read, and actually began reading books when she was two. Her parents thought she just memorized the words until they recorded her reading aloud from a Clue Jr. book at around 4. Her kindergarten teacher didn't put her in a reading class, because most of the other children were just learning the alphabet... * This tropette taught herself the ability to sing and dance at the same time. This is apparently really hard to do in real life, but hey, she can do it. * Can it be considered an Achievement in Ignorance that the Troper Tales page for Achievements in Ignorance managed to get several examples despite most of them not pertaining to an achievement ''due'' to ignorance? There's a difference between "did it because I didn't know I wasn't supposed to" and "did it because I'm smart". ** I think so. * This troper has an odd one. Like many of the examples on this page, she taught herself to read prior to starting kindergarten; that's not the trope. Because of this, the powers that be in her elementary school decided that she should spend part of every day reading with a

second grade class. They ''did not tell her parents'', and she didn't think it was odd enough to mention at home until one day at dinner, when she casually mentioned that the neighbor boy (who was in the class in question) had been out sick. It simply never dawned on her that oh, Mom and Dad might find it interesting that she's being put with kids two years older than herself for an hour every day while her classmates are learning colors. Though this may be more of an ignorance ''of'' achievement than a proper [[AchievementsInIgnorance Achievement In Ignorance]]. * This troper had not played WorldOfWarcraft in many years. His brother had played more recently, but not in a while. This troper started playing again before his brother did, and at one point logged off while taking a flight path, which he had never before done and could only assume would leave his character at the destination when he next logged in. When he logged back in, his brother, not knowing Blizzard had changed this, told him he would appear only part of the way to his destination, having been ejected from the flight path. When he found himself at the destination, his brother declared that it had only worked because the troper was unaware that it didn't. * This is how the troper approaches pretty much everything. Once he learns the basics he figures out the rest through experience, whether it be strategies in Chess, techniques while bowling, or tricks for coding that often work leaving the expert teachers baffled. * This troper grew up in Russia, where children are expected to know the multiplication table by heart in second grade. Then, in third grade, my family moved to the US, where I was lauded as some sort of amazing mathematical genius because all the American third graders had trouble adding numbers that were bigger than a single digit, and could only multiply by physically walking up to the poster, putting their fingers on the numbers they wanted to multiply, and moving them together to the product. * This troper has been told several times that my finger memory on the piano is astounding; once I know a song, I know it and I can play it without looking at sheet music; I can actually play most of my songs with my eyes closed (the songs aren't remarkably difficult, though). I didn't realize that I wasn't supposed to be able to do that so well without tons of practice. * [[Troper/{{Valbinooo}} I]] guess an advanced high school choral group that went gold on Group I/II division (the highest level high school contest divisions)isn't really supposed to count rhythms without using a very...[[InsistentTerminology Beat-oriented [[spoiler:for the curious, the ta-ka-di-mi]]]] system as opposed to the more reliable numerical system (1 e + a 2 a 3 e a, for example) that all the band kids learned in middle school. Most [[{{egregious}} egregiously]], this applies in SPADES to counting out triplets for some reason (band kids use 1 + a method, choir kids use euphemisms that confuse me more than help me, generally on time signatures like 6/8). Though to be fair, the ta-ka-di-mi system was introduced by our student teacher, but my director liked it as well. *head-->desk* ** OP still, sometimes my teachers can't believe that I would be able to figure out how to do X by myself even though I just did it. Usually applied to math/science/music, especially in elementary school. Might

have been the fact that, well, I read most of the day and was very quiet. Subverted by my fifth-grade teacher who was fine with reading/doodlign in class as long as I kept my grades up. ** AND since at least 6th-8th grade, my reading level has been up around the "Post-High-School level" area. Obviously my english teacher was impressed with it, but I honestly thought the reading level test was ridiculously easy. * I used to jump out of my bedroom window onto my front lawn regularly for fun, or at least I remember doing it. This was when I was a very young child, before I even started going to school. Last time I saw the house, I looked up at that window and wondered how the hell I did it. I'd break every bone in my body if I tried it today. If I did actually jump out before, it can only be this trope at work. I must have thought it was possible from watching too many cartoons. * Lots of people claim to be so bad at cooking that they can burn water. This troper once actually managed it - a stainless steel saucepan of regular tap-water, and it ended up not merely burnt, but '''''on fire'''''. Both the steel saucepan, and the water, were aflame. To this day, this troper has no idea how he managed it. ** Based on recent articles I saw, I think I have an idea. I've heard of some places that have had... methane, I believe, or some sort of flammable gas, leaking into their water supply. Videos have been posted of people turning on the tap water, igniting a lighter, holding it to the water, and having the flowing water turn into flowing fire. * I know a guy who can perfectly be described as the intersection of AchievementsInIgnorance and CloudCuckoolander. The leading theory is that he can teleport and breathe underwater because he's too stupid to know you can't. * I remember an exercise during gym which (aside from being hard to describe) had us with our arms stretched upwards on a bar facing one direction. The exercise required us to get on the other side of the bar facing the opposite direction without touching the ground. After seeing everyone else struggle getting over the bar this troper decided to drop down under the bar and pull up after turning around thinking it would be much easier. Only later did I learn this was the hard way. * This troper does this often, especially when programing. Actual quote: --> Teacher: "Wait... you shouldn't be able to do this and have the program still run." --> Me: "Really? Oh." --> Upon running it again (without having made any changes), it fails to run. * This troper heard Cher's "Believe" and thought the vocal effect was cool. She was about nine or ten at the time, terribly sheltered from what goes on in pop music production, and completely ignorant of Autotune. So she practiced and practiced for months to try and sing the vocal effect the way it was on the album version of the song. She succeeded in producing a sort of yodeling noise that sort of sounds like the effect, if you do the aural equivalent of squinting. ---[[AchievementsInIgnorance Oh man, how do you link back to the main page again... oh wait, there it goes!]]


Achron * In a recent game against three [=AIs=] (Green, Yellow, and Teal), Green was defeated almost immediately by Yellow or Teal. For the bulk of the game, my forces fought Yellow's and generally won. However, possibly because I defeated Yellow relatively far into the past, Teal was allowed to grow strong and ended up fighting me at all the times Yellow had before. Perhaps it was just because the traps I had set for Yellow were markedly less effective against Teal, but [[TheManBehindTheMan it turned out Teal was a lot stronger than Yellow]]. Note that this was a ''single-player'' game; by all reports multiplayer is even better. ** More entertaining story from same troper: after winning a small skirmish, I built a [[CoolGate chronoporter]] and sent some units back in time to soften up the enemy there. As planned, the skirmish went even better this time around, but now [[TimeParadox there were units standing on top of the construction site]], and since this was in the unplayable past, I couldn't change their orders. I watched as the chronoport was undone, but since I had already won the battle without reinforcements from the future, I wasn't worried... until I realized that now the chronoporter would be rebuilt and the chronoport would take place again. Because the chronoport destination had fallen off the mutable timeline (meaning nothing that happened there would have any effect), I was forced to watch helplessly as my units [[TooDumbToLive chronoported off of the timeline and were lost]]. * Nanites, just nanites. In a row of multiplayer games I managed to infect a single unit in the vast (10-20) amount of enemy forces. Then when I gave it a movement order the ''whole army moved with it''. Talk about jackpot, I managed to infect the hierachy leader. A quick nonaggressive movement order later the whole army was walking peacefully in order to be minced by my base defences wihtout resistance. ** But in the next match, I think I am safely camping in my corner with no enemy in sight, when I start to wonder why are my resource stashes so low. Then I find that a mech of mine has built a group of 10 turrets in the map corner where they have virtually zero chance of intercepting anyone. And the build events are too far in the timeline for me to undo them. If only would I have spotted that sooner... *** Speaking of nanites, this troper was just playing a game of Achron against the AI (that has lasted longer than an hour) and has made heavy use of nanites. The enemy was a lot stronger than me but built nothing but mechs (I later discovered that the AI had no importers) and sent them in continual waves at me weakening me considerably. At one point I idly infected an enemy mech with nanites and retreated it from battle and a couple of other mechs followed so I realised I had infected a hierarchy leader. I then made sure my base well defended with all the other units I had left and scouted out the enemy with my mech group. I found out that the enemy had no importers and no other units but mechs (this meant the AI couldn't build anything but mechs). I then used the mechs to take out all the enemy turrets and built a few Zayin Terchers (units that can cloak, only turrets and a few non-

mech units can see cloaked units). I then upgraded my Zayin Terchers to self-teleport and sent them on cloaked hit-and-run missions to take out the enemy factories (mechs can't build factories so doing this would mean the AI wouldn't be able to build any more) and mechs. That way I was able to eliminate all the enemy units at no extra cost to myself, winning the game. * In a recent single-player game this troper played I researched gate tech near the beginning of the game, built a chronoporter and used it to send a marine back in time to build extra resource processors so I get more resources. Unfortunately the cost of buildings those RPs meant I couldn't research gate tech so as soon as I had the resources I researched gate tech but it wasn't finished researching in time to build the chronoporter so I built another one as soon as gate tech was finished researching but then it wasn't charged up in time to send the marine back so I waited until it was charged and sent a mech back in time to build another chronoporter next to the one I had at the moment further back in time before it started building so I had a working fully charged chronoporter in time to send both the marine and the mech back in time, averting a potential paradox. Complicating matters further was that before I sent the marine back in time I told my factory to build a couple of tornades, under the assumption that when I had extra RPs the tornades would get built, so I had to deal with them building and draining my resources while I was trying to fix things with the chronoporter. I still have a save game of that so I can hopefully make a replay later... ---Back to {{Achron}} ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AcidRefluxNightmare * If this troper eats anything within an hour of bed he'll dream he's in math class. According to his twin brother who he shares a room with, he literally raises his hand and says, "64! 98! The square root of 9 is 3! 18!" Every time he says the exact same thing. ** When I eats before bed I have this dream where I tell Justin Bieber he looks like he's 12 and sings like he's six. I then break his nose. * This editor has amazingly vivid dreams (though not nightmares) if he eats a slice of garlic pizza within an hour or two before going to bed. Tested numerous times throughout college, and actively sought more than a few times. ** [[ Apparently, you're not the only person who's affected this way by garlic.]] ** For this troper, it's hot cocoa. She suspects it's the combination of caffeine, sugar and milk that does it. ** Huh. The most this troper's experienced when she eats garlic is having a dream about StephenColbert working in a local ice-cream shop. It was awesome in the dream, and the thought is even better in waking life. * Not nightmares, but according to this troper's parents, he used to

sleepwalk if he ate pretty much anything within an hour of bed. * This troper can't sleep without being full nowadays. Never does anything odd... ** This troper doesn't eat ''immediately'' before bed if she can help it, but hates going to sleep on an empty stomach. As far as she can tell, it has no effect whatsoever on her dreams. * Once this troper ate about [[BigEater ten smores]] at a sleepover and her friends woke her up yelling "GET OFF THE BOXCAR! MR. MUELLER IS GOING TO KILL YOU!" our [[SadistTeacher Algebra teacher, of course.]] * Another troper also cannot sleep if she's getting hungry. Her stomach has awakened her to demand input (and she's not exactly low on body fat. Sigh). About the only ingestible she has found affecting dreams is melatonin (can be found in the supplements aisle, and is quite helpful for insomnia. Just be careful of the dosage). A mild dose makes for quite vivid dreams, too high a dose produces nightmares. * A version of this occurs when my cousin has anything with sugar before going to bed. If he does this, he'll sleep walk and do things from watching someone sleep, peeing on a carpet, (if he didn't want this to get out, then he shouldn't have so casually told us about it) and ''getting cuts from knives''. * This troper, as part of April Fools Day, got what he thought was ragweed and [[KickTheDog put it next to his sleeping sister.]] What he didn't realize was that it wasn't ragweed, but mugwort. The next day, his sister wakes up and proceeds to tell him about the horrible nightmares she had. Oops. * Strong pizza led to a dream wherein this troper destroyed all of existence. Yeah, that was a mind shaker. "Reality, I kills it." ** [[{{Specialist290}} Yours truly]] seems to have a number of unusual and vivid dreams after polishing off a pizza as well. * [[DaNuke Da_Nuke]], who always munches a little something before sleeping, knows by onirical experience he should always keep some Losec and a couple of Alka-Seltzers in his bedroom... * This troper and her friend discovered that if you eat low sodium wheat thins (slightly stale) about 5 minutes before bed you have weird dreams about head shrinking aliens. * One time when I was really sick, my mother thought it would be a "good idea" to have a slice of orange before bed because it would kind of cure the sour throat I had at the time. Immediantley after I ate that slice of orange I had a weird Tim Burton-esque nightmare which was set in a shopping mall at xmas time, there was a path leading directly to Santa's workshop, I follow the path and end up on a conveyor belt of some kind heading for some sort of machine that [[BalefulPolymorph turns people into living plush toys]]. And unfortunately i'm one of those people on the conveyor belt. I end up undergoing a rather gruesome transformation into a living, talking, plush bat of some kind. It also probably didn't help that the plush bat form I ended up morphing into was a walking, talking [[NoCelebritiesWereHarmed Peter Lorre Expy]]. Obviously my mother wasn't too bright (she's TheDitz in my family you know). * Sort of inverted with this troper, who has rather bizarre

nightmares if he forgets to have dinner. One in particular involved a tentacled baby which would feed on people and convert the remains into zombie minions, which would carry around the baby until it grew into a mountainous wall of fless. Ick. ** Also occurs with ''this'' troper; occasionally time will prevent a proper dinner, and while the other two meals can be missed, missing dinner tends to result in nightmarish dreams in which mundane imagery (a greenhouse, a lightning storm, a bunch of lavender growing in a pot) mixes with surreal and inexplicable terror. * Subverted (or averted) with this troper: She usually have awesome dreams when she manages to eat before sleep. Otherwise, they are bored, or just plain nightmares. * [[RiL This troper]] used to have amazing, vivid dreams any night after eating Doritos. * This troper had troubles sleeping one night, her mom put this weird herbal lotion on her chest, it supposably makes you fall asleep, she did, but it also made her have a weird dream about her parents leaving her to follow an oddly dressed funk band, to wrap things up she needs to get this herbal lotion drug tested. * For this troper, drinks with caffeine in it make her sleepy. However, one day she found an energy drink that not only kept her awake, it made her pretty hyper (Incidentally, subsequent uses since the first time, this troper has found that the drink has no effect on her). Combine this with an all-nighter she pulled to get an assignment done, and then come the nightmares involving her school infested with zombies. To be fair, she procrastinated a bit beforehand reading HighSchoolOfTheDead, so... ** Also, she is (probably) sure that it's not what she eats before she sleeps, but has woken up often with cuts on her face. With no reasonable explanation as to how that even happens. She's certain that she doesn't sleep near sharp objects, and her nails were too blint to cause any damage (nailbiting habit. She's almost completely broken out of it, though). There's a running joke among friends that it is either the result of this trope or that she is haunted by the ghost of an angry cat. * This troper once at one too many hot cheetos and then fell asleep on the couch. I had a dream about me and this creepy exchange student who was too much like Light to be natural. We were visiting and he discussed why there is so much crime, and I leave for the bathroom. I leave the bathroom, come back out to see him with Kira eyes and the Note, and he had my name nearly finished, all that was missing was the last two letters. My exit stunned him, and he stated fiendishly, "You were lazy yesterday, you didn't do your homework." It was also combined with the fact I had slept during the Deathnote episode Malice. Ugh * This troper found a new way of tempting fate. First, have too much garlic sauce with pasta. Then, see [[TransformersFilmSeries ''Revenge of the Fallen'']]. Then, watch the AvatarTheLastAirbender episode "The Puppetmaster." Then, at one in the morning, watch the Series/DoctorWho two-parter "The Impossible Planet" and "The Satan Pit." Cue a dream about tentacled vampire witches, dead cities, demonic possession, being sliced to death by a living atlas, and

[[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking Dick Cheney in floral-print swimming trunks]]. And I did them all in one night. Oh, lordy, when I woke up I frantically looked around to see if I was still in my world. ** This troper would like to express sympathy and question the validity of the PotHole. * The worst nightmare This Troper ever experienced happened after eating half a bar of dark chocolate with orange. The worst part was that the dream was less conventionally 'scary' and more 'bad trip from the wrong kind of meds'. I can't remember much of it, thankfully, except the part at the end: I was sitting across from this horrific monster as it offered me pieces of (raw) human flesh to eat. And I knew that if I didn't eat, it would kill me... * This troper has a tendency towards weird dreams (not nightmares, just strange and random) in general. When telling her mother about a very recent, very ridiculous dream, her mother asked [[GenreSavvy "Did you eat anything funny before bed?"]]---* This troper was once given some expired Therma-flu for a particularly nasty case of the flu (We didn't notice the expiration until after that night), but after taking it, and falling asleep, this troper recalled a vivid dream involving getting clawed up by werewolves, and what was even scarier was that I still had the marks on my body after waking up... * Recently, This Troper bought a head of raw cabbage at the store for nostalgia's sake. I used to eat it all the time at my Grandma's, and it became a sort of tradition that suddenly stopped when I was about 10. Having not had it in so long, I wondered if I still liked it. I ate some before bed. Cue the weird but amusing dream of me being in a random wilderness, walking by a river rapid, shifting randomly between realistic and cartoon. Looking up at a tree and seeing a WOLF clinging to a branch dangling over the river rapids, screaming "Things are not meant to be on the ground! This is not right!" However, this troper is slow and had cabbage again the night after. What a clod. * [[ZootyCutie This Troper]] went out to Popeye's one night, and got really thirsty. Due to the fact that I had put too much ice in my soda cup, I had to refill it a couple times, leading me to drink three cups of Dr. Pepper. Instead of having strange dreams, I had strange DRAWING ideas! It lead me into drawing a picture of [[TransformersAnimated Perceptor, Wheeljack, and Mainframe]] doing the "Single Ladies" dance (complete with the same leotards and high heels from the music video). * This troper sometimes has literal acid reflux nightmares, waking up feeling like I'm choking on my own vomit. * This troper has horrible, bad-trip nightmares every time he eats too much chocolate or drinks too much coffee. This, of course, does not stop him from doing so. * This troper occasionally has acid reflux {{catapult nightmare}}s, waking up thinking he's going to choke to death on his own acid. Sometimes happens after eating too late. * [[{{Tropers.RAMChYLD}} This troper]] had one on 30th May 2010, most likely from consuming a whole regular sized Papa Johns cheese-only pizza and half of a large 1.5 liter bottle of Mountain Dew at two in the morning, immediately before hitting the bed. He had a nightmare regarding various strange things ranging from his neighbours somehow

being already able to get a channel that he wants so badly, [[FinalFantasyXIII Cid Raines]] turning into [[StreetFighterIV Gouken]] and then [[FinalFantasyXIII Hope Estheim]] developing a HoYay for him in a completely cliched western "follow the sun" scene that includes a portal, to his cousin taking something he doesn't have to revive said cousin's dead mother (which is being preserved in what looks like a bastard combination between [[FinalFantasyVII Jenova's cell]] and a standard cargo container, and is equally odd because far as this troper's knowledge goes, said cousin's mother isn't dead), to the troper's own mother being killed by ninjas. The nightmare guest starred Jackie Chan, Bruce Lee, Sammo Hung, Jet Li, The Ghostbusters and some Shaolin monks. Needless to say this troper was relieved as soon as he woke up and sworn never to eat such combination before bedtime again. * Try eating an entire bowl of Weet Bix with sugar, ground oregano, cumin and chilli in it (I was getting the sugar and, being the apparently CuteClumsyGirl I am, I knocked over the spice box. The containers with ground oregano, cumin and chilli in them burst open and spilled into the conviently placed bowl. Cue ClusterFBomb). I ate it anyway. What happened after I went to bed was a dream about dancing fast food items, singing a song about my being late for school, then I was running down my street, screaming, "WAIT!" When I got to the alleyway the bus went past, and then I was on top of a huuuge rock surrounded by water. I asked where I was, and got the answer "[[{{Fridge Logic}} Uluru."]] Which makes no sense because Uluru is in Central Australia. Then I woke up with my family in my room, looking at me strangely. I was apparently screaming, in this order: "MCNUGGETS! WAIT, THE BUS IS GOING, OH CRAP! ULURU DOES NOT BELONG IN THE INDIAN OCEAN!" I still get mocked for that. I've established oregano, cumin and chilli are generally not good mixes in breakfast cereals. * This Troper ate sausage-and-pepperoni pizza, a huge slice of cheddar cheese, a banana, a waffle with syrup, a vitamin, and a clove of garlic. Then he watched the latest episode of BurnNotice and typed up this section while listening to [[TheBeatles Revolution #9]]. He'll check in tomorrow and tell everyone of his progress. Update: No horribly weird dreams. He recalled the smell of a mall he visited a few days ago. His stomach also wasn't that hungry for breakfast...and he was uncomfortably warm. ** Some days later, after a meal of Wendy's, some ice cream, and a slice of cake, there was a dream that involved meeting JohnRomero - It was actually John Carmack with Romero's name, to make things weirder. * This Troper doesn't have this problem, but does have weird dreams (that end up turning into fanfiction fodder) on an empty stomach. * This troper once ate a bag of BBQ flavoured potato chips and drank half a litre of home-made lemonade before going to sleep. The dreams were about me shooting aliens with a double-barreled shotgun SeriousSam style... AND IT WAS AWESOME! * This Troper once took cough medicine late at night, and then woke up screaming "I DON'T WANT ANY COUGH MEDICINE!" following a nightmare involving being chased by a giant bottle of cough medicine. I think I preferred the cough.

* This troper has horribly violent and anger-filled nightmares if she eats chocolate at night. This somehow runs in the family; her uncle had to give up chocolate after dark because it would cause him to punch and kick in his sleep (much to this troper's aunt's dismay). * Not sure if this counts (feel free to edit it out), but this troper hates ham and cheese hot pockets for a ridiculous reason. First off, I hate the smell of it, and the first time I ate it, I literally had a dream about said hot pocket spinning around in a microwave, and as soon as I woke up, I ran to the bathroom and puked. ...Yeah. * [[{{@/Trkzsoup}} This troper]] had a series of vivid, nonsensical and disturbing dreams earlier in life, always when her mother gave her a glass of grapefruit juice before bed. The dreams even had some semblance of continuity between them, even on separate nights, weeks or months. She hasn't tried it recently, mostly because she dislikes grapefruit juice with a passion and doesn't want those dreams again. Ever. * [[{{@/Neakal}} This Troper]] recently went to bed shortly after having a Whopper and ended up having a dream where he was in his grandmother's home at nighttime. In real life, both the house and the surrounding garden was rather large and imposing, so the dream already had an upped NightmareFuel factor. Then I looked around and saw a certain [[SlenderMan tall, well-dressed and faceless figure]]. * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] used to have a love for the small chocolate pudding pies available at a local bakery...until having one right before bed caused him to have one really weird dream. In the dream, I was swallowed whole by [[TheLegendOfZeldaOcarinaOfTime Lord Jubu-Jubu]]; where I found myself inside an an even more realistically detailed version of his belly than what was in the game. My options for escape seemed slim to none...until I happen to find a random [[{{Disgaea}} Prinny]], which I proceeded to throw at one of walls in frustration of being left to die in there. The poor Prinny exploding on contact, which upset Jubu-Jubu's stomach, causing him to vomit; as I was swept along for the the very {{Squick}}y ride out. I woke up from that feeling very sick; as I swore to myself that I'd never buy another one of those pies. * Not really a nightmare, but after reading this, I tried eating some weird Indian snack-things my mom got cheap at a shop(pretty good, actually) before bed to invoke this trope. And it apparently worked... I dreamt that I was playing {{Zero Wing}}, only that it wasn't really Zero Wing but rather something the dream made up(I've never played the game). It started as a space shooter, where I had to shoot a bathtub off some spaceship. At least it looked like a bathtub. After that, it turned into a 3D platformer where you had to defeat bosses one after one. CATS was the 4th one, and we had to row a small boat to him to fight him, he was standing on a platform in the middle of the sea. Even though the rest of the game was 3D, he(and I think the other bosses) was a small, [[ShapedLikeItself pixel-ish sprite]]. (I can't remember the rest of the bosses, but I think one of them was a [[LittleMissBadass little girl with pigtails]]) After I had defeated the bosses, I could go into some school and visit them. Everyone was a big, 2D sprite/drawing, and everyone looked like themselves... except CATS, who for some reason looked like a normal person. He had a human

skin tone, brown hair straight down, no eyepatch, and I think he had glasses too. Actually, the only reason I knew this was actually him was the text showing his name. After a while, I went from the player in the game to the person playing the game... on a computer, actually. Shortly after, I turned off the computer and walked out of the room, which was actually not a room in our house, let alone a room I've ever seen before in real life. The computer screen was old and huge, and I haven't had a computer like that in years. Also, there were some scenes with [[TheSimpsons Lisa]] being sick, and some short clip from {{Family Guy}}, but I have no idea how these relates to the dream at all. Also, I was in some kind of weird state in parts of the dream... kind of like lucid dreaming or being half awake only that you can't control anything or not fully understanding it's a dream. It was a pretty cool dream, actually, and I'll try eating those things again today and see how it goes! * [[@/{{Valbinooo}} I had a dream once]] after drinking Mountain Dew and looking at the "Fuck Yeah Terrible Art" Tumblr. It involved my boyfriend [[{{squick}} being pregnant and giving birth to twins.]] Understandably, I never told him. *shiver* * I'm a subversion to this trope, as most of my bizarre dreams don't involve me ingesting any food before bed. Despite my dad's warnings, I don't have bad/weird dreams when I do that. But there was one time where I drank ''bottled water'' (it was Dasani. I usually drink Deer Park, which is what my mom drank when she was pregnant with me) before bed and had this dream where everything was in this white, frosted glass look (the vision was similar to what happens when I take off my glasses) and I was in a hallway or room that looked like one found in the upstairs of a really nice house (think a [=McMansion=], but better). Then I hear the splashing of bathwater and hear myself and my friend (who's a guy I have a crush on; I have mentioned him before in other TroperTales, like the {{Tsundere}} one) having a conversation (what it was about I don't really know; it could have been [[SeinfeldianConversation about nothing]]; though the first thing I hear was me saying, "Come on, why won't you let me wash your back?") and laughing as the bath water keeps splashing. I don't remember much else, and I woke up before I could see where the sounds were coming from, but the message was clear: I dreamt about spying on my own intimate moment, and for the life of me, I still don't understand it. Was I seeing an EroticDream under construction (it did feel incomplete)? Was my mind showing me a WhatCouldHaveBeen moment? Or was it like that water dream on ''TheSimpsons'' where Bart is riding down this river and the more water-related items he sees (including a waterfall, an elephant spraying himself with water, two firemen trying to control a hose, a thunderstorm with rain, and a cheerleader and a crowd chanting "Go! Go! Number #1! Number #1! Gimme a 'P'!"), the worse he has to go to the bathroom (I didn't wake up with a full bladder, so that's a long shot)? Anyway, I think I might try to invoke this trope just to see if I can channel that dream again and make sense of it. All I need is some junk food and some time. * If I eat before sleeping I end up more so in a DisneyAcidSequence. Usually the most effective food is meat such as chicken or pork and also broccoli and garlic.

* I had a dream a few night ago brought on by eating half an eightslice pizza hut pizza less than an hour before going to bed, I was the (still human) [[{{Happiness in slavery}} slave]]/mate to a dragoness, and spent most of the dream protecting her from knights and the general "slay the dragon" type people, it was actually a very cute dream, believe it or not. * I had some Raisin Bran straight from the box and Coca-Cola before bed last one night...bad idea on my part since I was having a conversation with my boyfriend during a late-night Halo session on what else the producers from the Scream saga/Epic Movie/etc. could 'eff up if they keep making anymore movies...cue a dozen characters painted up like [[JamesCameronsAvatar Na'vi]] and stoner references to Inception and Sucker Punch in a back-drop of awkward gorn and MassEffect-esque lighting. The "nightmare" was pretty cool, but waking up with a bad taste in the mouth from regurgitated midnight snacks wasn't. ---Eat some spicy sausage pizza and go back to AcidRefluxNightmare. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

Acrofatic * This troper is a real life example. She's obese, and continually surprises people with her ability to do things like holding her leg parallel to her body or cartwheel down the hall. One of her Acrofatic friends is also a LightningBruiser, who practices tai chi, judo, tae kwan do, and kung fu. * This lurker who is about two stone overweight for her age came 58th in a race. Said race consisted of around 200 participants and was around 6km in length, complete with steep inclines and downhill bits; she was considered the slowest of the marathoners, but was faster then people who actually do cross country. She also surprised a health visitor who found that she had the fastest recovery time in her age group after ten minutes of cardiovascular work. [[{{Naruto}} Chubbies rule!]] ** [[{{EPIC}} This Troper]] can second your last two words. 14, 5'5", 200 pounds, who is renowned to jump from my cafeteria table to the water dispenser, do that Russian kicking dance so hard that I hit someone in the shin, and [[strike:rape]] '''''[[TheGlomp glomp]] a teacher''''' to the point that I pull the latter's muscle, [[NiceJobBreakingItHero the teacher thinking a bone broke.]] I also like making the floor vibrate, and I'm pretty good at gymnastics (other than cartwheels and handstands because [[BigNo that's a different story]]). *** And thanks to the glomping incident, karma pulled/tore my hamstring because of it right before attempting a scissors kick (which I'm usually good at.) [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome Right after that, I decided to do one of my best Drama performances! :D]] * One of this troper's friends isn't fat, but she's short with broad shoulders, a slight paunch, large breasts, and a huge butt. She's also

an excellent dancer and so flexible that she can place her legs all the way to the ground in the butterfly position. * Ballet is significantly hotter when the girl doing it is a ''very'' curvy 175 lbs. [[AdamS This Troper]] wasn't referring to themself. I was referring to one of my dance classmates. It's kinda hard not to stare when she's wearing [[FetishFuel tights and a leotard.]] * This troper is 6'1", 250 pounds, not all of it muscle, and regularly blows past guys considerably smaller than him when playing football. Most people are usually left asking how the fuck Nappy got open AGAIN. * This troper is 5'4" and 190 pounds--mildly obese. While asthma messes with her cardio, she is extremely flexible, able to bend her elbows backward, kick her leg up to roughly chin level with relative ease, bend backward until she can see the wall behind her, and, with a corner to brace with, turn her body almost completely sideways while standing on one leg. This is stuff her mildly overweight mother and skinny cousins would be afraid to attempt, for most part. She also runs a pretty decent 60m because that's too short for her asthma to kick in. The funniest thing is, aside from her hands, which are messed up due to age and excessive typing, and touching her toes, which she's never been able to do well, this troper is much more flexible now that she's obese than she was when she was normal. This is probably due to better nutrition and energy levels. * This troper is 6'0" 363 pounds. Altough there is quite a bit of it is muscle, not as much as this troper would like. However this tropers is still capable of flexing his body to the point people wonder how this troper manages some moves without breaking something even if this troper was not obese. * [[NinjaMoogle 5'7", 260,]] [[BoisterousBruiser normally relegated to tank duties]]... and has better balance than any of 'em. [[SelfDeprecation Low center of gravity, I guess]]. * This troper's friend is 6'3, and weighs somes 230 - he ain't obese, but his is a chubby dude... and also the third fastest sprinter in the school district, strong enough to bench 250 pounds, and tough enough to keep running for 8 fucking miles without having to stop... and then there's the fact that he's almost as flexible as the ballet dancers here... * I subverted this. Granted, I'm not enormous, just a tad chubby. I can put my foot in my mouth and I frequently spin when I walk. * A friend in High School once told a story of a time he was playing DDR. The machine had two pads, as they often do, and while my friend was playing a very large man came up and asked if he could join him in the next round. My friend happily agreed, and after they set up the next match the man chose a very difficult song (which I have forgotten) on Heavy Mode, with the memorable quote of "Heavy men play on Heavy Mode", and proceeded to double A the song. ** This troper is 6'0, 300 lbs., and plays DDR. On Heavy mode. He is also flexible enough to kick himself in the face from a standing position. Ah, [[AwesomeButImpractical completely useless talents...]] *** That's a yo over here too, I'm hardly the buffest guy around, but can play about 15 minutes solid heavy (9 footer) or freestyle before a break, and usually goes through at least 20 credits worth of DDR, PIU or EZ2D per week.

* This troper tends to be like this as well. At about six feet tall and 280 lbs, with little muscle above the waist, he still manages to be able to dodge nigh anything, from a fist to a flying dodgeball. Most of this is sheer explosive speed, however, and he has little running speed/stamina. Probably has something to do with spending four years of high school and the last two years of college doing nothing but squats whenever he went to the gym (a thrice-weekly occurance). And pushing between six to eight hundred pounds in three sets of ten reps each time, at a minimum. Yet he still manages to be a huge geek at heart, if not by looks. * I am medically obese and swim fine (depends on your view of "fine" as in, not Olympic). I also think the lot above me are lying liars who [[RuleOfThree lie]]. * This troper is 6'3.5" and usually right at 250[[AmericanCustomaryMeasurements lbs]]. I have no running endurance (though can walk for practically ever), and tend to fall over if I'm not paying attention, but am [[strike: extremely]] ridiculously flexible in all joints outside of the spine, a decent sprinter (especially for obstacle fields, though not regular hurdles), and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking has the highest scores on]] WiiFit Balance, Yoga, and possibly Strength of anyone in his extended family. * [[PhoenixOasis This Troper]] is 5'1" tall, 205ish lbs, and because of his training in martial arts (although at roughly half his current weight,) can still perform a slew of high, flying, and spinning kicks, kip up, combat turn-roll, and perform a one handed cartwheel. He has no running endurance, but can run a 5.5 second 40 yard dash, and a 12.5 second 100 yard dash. He hopes to lose some weight and get back under 5.1 seconds for his 40. * [[MajorTom This Troper]] is definitely of this type. Weighing in at 215 lbs (98kg to our friends outside the US) I can run a 7 minute mile and do over 200 lbs worth of weight on multiple exercises involving the arms. And by no means do I look like a muscleman! I've even done some of the beginner level of LeParkour. * [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] has always been like this, but it was to a more noticable extent when I was younger. Picture it: Elementary school, 1997. I'm the token fat kid who always gets picked last for teams, and the game of the P.E period is dodgeball. Thirty seconds later, I'm [[TheMatrix putting Neo to shame]] and pissing the hell out of the arrogant popular kids on the other side. I did eventually get tagged out...a full 15 minutes later... And then only because I slipped on one of the balls and couldn't get up fast enough... * 5' 9" 250 lbs and had a roomate who hates me because I was more limber than her, a 5'2, 105 lb ex-highschool gymnast. Did I mention she was also 10 years younger than me? ;D * Hee hee... Whenever it's the end of [[{{Ryumaru}} This Troper's]] school year, we just get to chill out all day and some people bring game consoles to school for the celebrations. In sophomore year, when I told an obese friend of mine that a Wii was being played in one of the classrooms, he made The Flash look slow when running down that hallway. * [[{{Bookhobbit}} This troper's]] sister is really big for her

age(she's fourteen, 5'10, and about 180lbs or so) and while she's not fat, she's chubby. That said, take it from someone who spars with her: She hits fecking ''hard'', can take a punch, and is pretty darned fast. She also happens to be a WrenchWench-in-training, so her build helps her lift automobile equipment and toolboxes. * This troper is fat and perfectly fine admitting this. She can also twist herself into knots that amaze anyone who hasn't known her a while, and will happily dance (albeit rather a peculiar form thereof, think modern-dance crossed with the classic 'I am a lost piece of seaweed' goth dance) for hours if there's the right music on. * This troper isn't as fat as some, but he could stand to lose quite a few pounds (235 at 5'11", bigger-than-average frame with an ideal lean weight of 190). He has always had a great sense of balance. Since middle school he has been pulling stunts like, while playing basketball on a tennis court and tripping, balancing ''on'' the basketball to avoid skinning up his knees and elbows. Or hitting a patch of ice in the parking lot, losing his footing but doing a practical handstand rather than fully falling down. Or while trying to dig a small tree out from behind the tool shed in his back yard, bracing his hands on the shed and walking up the tree trunk, then jumping on it sideways to get it out of the ground. * 5'10". 350 pounds. High school break dancing competition. I started off with a truffle shuffle, for a laugh, and then really broke it down. Came in second, to a guy that was six even and nearly 400. None of the skinny guys that entered made above fifth place. * Roller derby was mentioned on the original trope page; this troper has seen several training sessions of her local league, and would like to testify that the 5'10", extremely-plus-sized Babe Outta Hell is one of the greatest [[BadAss badasses]] she's ever met. * This troper was checking out the local Christmas lights in a group including a very large man-6 foot, 300 lbs if anything. One display was in a hilly part of town, on a lawn atop a rock-walled embankment. To get a better look, the man proceeded to climb the rock wall, with this troper (himself 5'8, 220 lbs) right behind. The ladyfolk couldn't figure out where we got off to. When they figured it out, the man's girlfriend (who prides herself on taking karate) said "Uh uh, I'm not climbing that!" This troper retorted, "Your boyfriend just did...what's your excuse?" before demonstrating how to climb the wall again for her. * This troper is 5'10 and 250 lbs(borderline morbid obese), but can do cartwheels and some limited breakdancing. * I'm 5'10.5 and 175 pounds, a bit overweight. I am the most flexible person I know. I could kick someone a few inches taller than I in the face. I can put both legs behind my head at once. I am of moderate stregth and not great endurance (asthma). I came in the first 1/5 of my gym class when we did the mile each day, that was more determination, as I am slow. * This troper is not exactly overweight,but recently she outruned her rather slender friend who was chasing her during a tag.Said friend stopped halfway when this troper didn't break a sweat * 280 pounds. Bikes everywhere. [[DanceBattler Capoeira instructor.]] * This Troper's aunt was recently engaged to one. COMPLETELY

JUSTIFIED, as he has a [[BadAss black belt in jiu-jitsu, and is a Navy SEAL.]] * [[{{Tropers.Metalitia}} This troper]] is currently 5'8, ~170 lbs. I USED to be 215 lbs. and back when I was a Junior and Senior in highschool, I was actually rather enthusiastically participating in my Gymnastics class. I couldn't execute a back-handspring, but I surprised EVERYBODY in the class more than once by successfully and repeatedly hitting a FRONT-handspring and being able to hold handstands for about 5 seconds at a time, even being able to handstand-walk a few steps before rolling through. MAN, that class was fun. I miss doing gymnastics, it's just that I can't afford actual lessons at this point. (BTW, I lost the weight so [[{{Transsexual}} I could get]] [[AttractiveBentGender in shape]] for transition.) * This troper himself is quite thin, but his rabbit is on the heavier side. She can still jump up to two feet in the air and run so quickly that you can't keep track of where she is, though. * This troper is a wrestler (though not pro, because that'd mean this troper is doing this professionally, which he isn't). At 5'9", 260 pounds, it is not exactly expected that he would : Move well, nor lift well. He generally ends up on massive losing streaks because most of the other wrestlers can actually perform their finishers on him. Most of his agility is thanks to a 2 and half year of tae kwon do, and continuing interest in martial arts. The following is a list of various Acrofatic examples that have wowed both the other wrestlers and the audience. --->- Used the Superkick as his finisher for the better part of two years. --->- Superkicked a 6'6" guy in the face. --->- Now uses the Stinger Splash as a finisher... from half the ring. --->- Has the highest vertical jump in all of the organization. * This troper's male line as a general rule. While we can get as strong as an ox, that fat isn't going away even with proper diet and exercise. * The amount of RealLife examples is enough to make this troper have a seizure. * This 6' tall, roughly 17 stone troper currently does reenactment grade swordsmanship as his main sport. Despite being a mite larger than even the instructor, I maintain the longest springing advance in the group, threatening roughly half the room we practice in at any one time. I also put my weight into cuts and apply the continuous pressure that is my interpretation of the 'stickyness' described in the book of 5 rings. This means that my sparring partners tend to leave bruised. My current sparring partner is unfortunately the group's fragile speedster, meaning that I can power out of his disarm attempts using only my [[CrowningMomentOfFunny little finger and thumb on my off hand.]] The demonstration we're giving at an event soon should be interesting to say the least. * This troper's sister counts. At 5'1" and 200 pounds, she's the fastest person on her track team. * [[{{Tropers.HomemadePsycho}} This troper]] is 6'0, 300lbs.His job involves climbing shelves ,unstable box stacks and generally moving around like a monkey.

Get back to {{Acrofatic}} much faster than anyone could have expected. <<|TroperTales|>>

ActionDressRip ---Head back to ActionDressRip...maybe someone there can fix it for you. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ActionGirl * Last Thursday, when this troper went to his dance class, one of his friends brought his older sister along with him. At first, I thought she looked like a petite, 17-year-old YamatoNadeshiko... then, as it turns out, she's actually 20, she's in the army, '''AND''' she'd just returned from Iraq. And yes, she ''has'' been in battle before. -->'''Lamont:''' (Jokingly) She gets to kill people for fun! * This troper CANNOT write girly girls. Is it just AuthorAppeal, the fact that I'm male or something else? * A high school teacher can lift close to 175 lbs, stopped an armed robber with her bare hands, and has a '''Metal Plate''' in her left arm, making her close to the bionic woman. And yet she was on the Math Team in college. * One of [[Tropers/NewKidOnTheBlock This (male) troper's]] female friends made a ''DungeonsAndDragons'' character called Nacia, a {{Badass}} BlackMagicianGirl who has shitloads of super-powerful spells, swears like a sailor, and drinks like crazy. Sometimes, said friend (Grecia) allows another (female) friend of ours (Katie) borrow the character to play as, since Katie hasn't created a character of her own yet (although when she does, that character will most likely be pretty badass). One day, me, Katie, and Lukas (another friend) were playing, and Katie looked at Nacia's character sheet, and guess what age Grecia gave this character? [[LittleMissBadass Twelve]]. All this time, I'd been picturing this 22-year-old lady as Nacia, and she turns out to be ''twelve''! And apparently, she ''not'' underage, because in this made-up D&D world Lukas created, the legal drinking age is ''ten''. -->'''Katie:''' Dude, I'm twelve years old and I can kick ass! I am an ''awesome'' twelve-year-old! ---Yeah, you BETTER go back to ActionGirl, [[ThisIsForEmphasisBitch bitch]]! Or else Alice is gonna KICK YOUR ASS! ----

ActuallyPrettyFunny * In my drama club, a bunch of kids were making AIDS jokes, and one of

my friends [[DudeNotFunny told them to cut it out.]] [[ForTheFunnyz My response?]] --> [[{{Tropers/Haldo}} Haldo]]: Oh, come on, {friend's name}! You've got stay positive! --> Friend: EFF you! --> Haldo: sorry, sorry... --> Friend: No, it's ok. That was actually pretty funny. ** Also, usually I hate it when a work seems to buy into gay stereotypes, buuuut... the song "I wish I was queer (so I could get chicks)" is funny enough that I just don't care ;) * This trope was the only reason this ponderously-built troper made it through grade school. * Over last summer, This Troper was in the car with her parents on their way from the suburbs of Los Angeles (Where this troper lives) to Lake Tahoe. My dad was complaining about how fast my mom was going when it seemed like she wasn't going fast. Five minutes later, we get pulled over by Highway Patrol for going over the speed limit. I resisted the urge to laugh until we were back on the road. * In this troper's Ethics class, we somehow got on a tangent about the weirdest accidental deaths we had ever heard of (I suppose we were trying to figure out whether or not the person responsible for the accident should be charged with Depraved was very random.) I started telling a story I had heard about a women who snuck up behind a blind man standing on the edge of the Grand Canyon and yelled "boo", causing him to fall to his death. Another kid was talking about these two women who were decapitated by a low flying airplane. Then we started talking about a man who committed suicide by jumping off a building and [[BeyondTheImpossible on the way down]] was accidentally shot by someone inside the building who was attempting to murder his boss. Even our teacher was cracking up at how [[RefugeInAudacity absolutely insane]] some of these stories were, the whole class was in stitches. * In [[Tropers/That897Guy my]] high school art class, we had a substitute teacher on the day we went over the "5 Basic Shapes," which were filled-in circles, curved lines, empty circles (which I argued were basically just curved lines, to no avail), straight lines, and dots. Except, some prankster added to the bottom a crudely-drawn "<==3" shaped penis[[hottip:*:Which actually looked more like a squiggley triangle]], labeled, as if it was the sixth basic shape. Normally this kind of thing would make me groan and wonder when the hell everyone will grow up, but seeing as it was there ''as the sub was pointing to the items on the list and talking about them, approaching the bottom,'' the situation became humorous and I couldn't wait to see her reaction (she didn't appear to notice it). When she reached the bottom, all she did was erase it violently while sarcastically commenting "Thaat's ''[[{{Sssssnaketalk}} niccccccccccce.]]'' She herself sounded somewhat amused, but it may have been just because she had a ridiculously high-pitched voice. It should be noted that this would have provoked my normal art teacher to rant at us, since this is technically a college-level art class that gives college credits and she's a college teacher. * In a {{Shadowrun}} game [[Tropers/KayvanShrike I]] was playing in, I

once conned two other characters into engaging in a drinking contest and then had a lot of fun the next morning abusing the two poor hungover shadowrunners with excessive enthusiasm, bright lights, and coffee. Our hacker was following me around the whole time alternating between telling me how I was a mean and nasty person and trying not to laugh. * When my brother was in grade school, he pantsd a kid on the playground. He got in no end of trouble and was miserable for it, but my mom spent the entire day trying not to laugh outright. Finally, when he was in bed at the end of the day, she relented, leaned into the doorway, and said "Hey, kid? Everybody funny. Now you funny too." ---I have to admit, it's ActuallyPrettyFunny that this page exists. ----

AdaptationDisplacement * I saw the TombRaider movie with my dad, and he apparently thought the movie came first. Of course, the gamer in me was quick to correct him. * This troper got a weird look from a friend when I mentioned AHistoryOfViolence was a graphic novel by the man who created JudgeDredd. * I was once in a bookshop and there was a young man and his girlfriend in the little kids' section, looking at a Winnie-the-Pooh book. The woman actually remarked that Pooh was naked! She'd obviously only seen the films. Also, most people I meet have no idea that Mary Poppins was a book, or that Peanuts was originally a comic strip.

ADayInHerApron * Whilst learning to take care of myself, I managed to set some macaroni and cheese on fire. Before that, I tried to make chocolate chip cookies, but they melted into something with the consistency of pudding, and the taste and smell of caramel popcorn. * This is easily a CrowningMomentOfFunny for our neighbours. Dad has never cooked in his life, and his wife for the FEMA went out to New Orleans and left a bunch of frozen Pizzas for him to eat while she was away. He put it ''directly'' on the rack, cheese-side down, didn't take it out of the plastic wrap...then lit a fire. * Once when this troper was eleven or so, he had to cook for himself for the first time because his mom was out. He somehow managed to burn soup. * This Troper, who is a decent cook in his own right, had to rescue a friend who had this happen to him while his girlfriend was away. All I saw when I got there was a [[NoodleImplements Campbell's soup can, his destroyed microwave, and raw ground beef all over the kitchen]]. I made him steaks. * This Troper's twin tried to make noodle in a box...and ended up needing a hammer and chisel to get the result out of the pan. * A variant: According to eyewitnesses, this troper's former employer is looking extremely haggard these days because now he's finding out

just how much I used to do in that damned office... * I'm a feeder, so I tend to be more skilled as a cook than any girl I date. At least one of my girlfriends lost a lot of weight when we broke up, not intentionally, but simply by not eating anywhere near as much. * Do not ask this troper to do my clothes. I'll muck it up. Otherwise, cooking and dish-washing are easy, making me an subversion. * This one's friend usually has others cook for whenever he tries, he somehow...makes (heavily burned)macaroni with the consistency of glue * The first time Tropers/BTIsaac and his dad tended to the household when the women were out, ended with several glasses and plates breaking. We got used to it, since then, after being the only ones in the house for over three years. Later, he tried baking apple pie. The results were disastrous. * Inverted with this troper and her boyfriend. He is an excellent cook. [[LethalChef I set things on fire]]. * When this troper was a baby, her father at one point made an insensitive remark along the lines of "How bad could it be?" which my mom took offense to. So what did she do? She called up her best friend, and the two of them went out for the day, leaving baby troper with Dad for the day...and no real instructions, no formula in the fridge, etc. When she returned later that evening, she found him slumped over on the sofa. "How was your day?" she asked him. "I had no idea it would be so much work!" he said. And he never made any such remarks again. * [[{{Tropers/Sus}} I]] never had to help around in the kitchen as a kid. That kind of bit me in the butt when I moved out of town to study... For example, I had no idea that you're supposed to ''boil'' potatoes before frying them. The results were ...[[{{Understatement}} less than delicious]]. Cue instant noodles. A lot of instant noodles. ---Honey, I'm glad to see you...[[ADayInHerApron I kind of lit the water on fire]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

ADCD [[redirect:TroperTales/AttentionDeficitCreatorDisorder]]

AddedAlliterativeAppeal * Inspired by the VForVendetta monologue, [[@/GamerAmI I]] wrote this for my profile on {{Facebook}}: -->Observe! An oaf of October who obeys no official, omnipotent, or even ordinary organism or orthodox otherworldly one; he is his own. Obdurate yet open, and always objective in opinion, he objects to the obnoxiously obtrusive oblivious, as is his onus. Occasionally objectionable, offensive, outlandish, or obscene; often outspoken, organized, and occupied; but not obtuse, odious, or onerous. Outgoing? The opposite; he is an outcast, ostracized outright. He oppresses his

orneriness to avoid offending, an optimal obligation, and he aims to obliterate the outrage of his orientation. Obviously there are omissions in this opus, but he opposes the option to orate obsessively. Odd, and a bit off, his true self is obscured, hidden in the oblivion whose origin is the outset of his observations. We ought to end these occurrences of "O", for we are oscillating between original and old. The only other option, which I offer you now and you ought accept, if only once, is to call him Owen. Okay? Now out with you. ** Simple to see sir, the self-aggrandizing of your statement sounds suspicion by cynics. The persona you've pedantically perpetrated portrays you as person of pronounced perception, nothing short of nearing [[NietzscheWannabe Nietzsche.]] Never mind the noticeable narcissistic nature of your notice. These attributes you aim for, as any animate object would see are surely for someone seeking serious self-sufficiency. Don't dilly-dally with definition but declare yourself Daedalean in your determinant to duly determine your denotation... Yeah okay I totally had to look up most of those words an admittedly the OPs is better.

AddictionDisplacement * This troper knows someone who kicked and regained a cigarette habit three or four times explicitly because all her friends would light up after an AA meeting, causing her to either be around it and sorely tempted or miss out on the socialization she'd come to depend on. * This troper knows someone who switched from cigarettes to nicotine gum to Wrigley's spearmint chewing gum. * This troper hops between game addictions. * This troper alternates between a sugar addiction, a coffee/caffeine addiction and a videogame addiction. ** Alternates? Those seem complementary. * This troper kicked an amphetamine habit with strong coffee and Mountain Dew. * This troper kicked a *very* strong Internet addiction by replacing it with his now-wife. * This troper kicked his addiction to {{Bionicle}} fanfics with Harry Potter fanfics, which is kicked with Facebook, which he kicked (partially) with TvTropes, which he tried to kick with SuzumiyaHaruhi and {{K-ON}}, which he built upon with Haruhi fanfics. He is in trouble, once the exams roll over. * This troper has replaced, at least temporarily, her addiction to online roleplaying with ''PuzzleQuest: Challenge of the Warlords''. * This troper's mother quit smoking when she was younger by gobbling M & M's instead. This troper himself, on the other hand, is trying the more typical method of nicotine patches, and thus averting the trope if it works anyway. (...someone please help me stay away from [[TroperTales/SmokingHotSex]].) * My grandfather replaced his smoking addiction with an ice cream addiction. * This troper tried to displace his cigarette habit with chewing gum. After realising he spent more money on gum than on cigarettes, he

stopped trying. * According to my mom's recollections, my dad had a serious drinking problem the first few years of their marriage and they almost got divorced over it. But after an ultimatum from Mom, Dad stopped getting drunk and started drinking no more than a beer or two a day. What he took up instead was cooking, and thank goodness for that, since Mom was a ''terrible'' cook while Dad made lots and lots of tasty things. Most of what I grew up eating was Dad's cooking and he would cook so much that our freezer was stocked with Tupperware containers filled with his cooking, which my parents would reheat after they got out of work/I got out of school. * [[{{Tropers/FatAdmirer}} This Troper]] met his girlfriend in the first year of Uni. She was slimmer than any of the girls I had gone out with before and she smoked, which was a turn off for me, but I liked her anyway. She agreed that she would try to give up smoking for me and ended up displacing her addiction onto chocolate and ice cream. By the time we left university, we'd been together for five years, she hadn't smoked in all that time and she was now definitely a {{BBW}} and happy about it. * [[{{Tropers/Guardyanangel}} This Troper]] kicked a rather bad SI addiction only to discover the glories of the Internet. [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife Curse you TV Tropes!!]] * [[{{Tropers/Thhartokk}} This Troper]] kicked some bad internet addiction by becoming addicted to PURE AWESOMENESS instead... by which he means that he's now addicted to, specifically, acting like [[GurrenLagann Kamina]]. * This troper carefully avoids nicotine addiction, video game addiction, and the like. However, from a very young age, he had bitten his nails... until very recently, at which point he replaced the oral fixation with cleaning his nails with his teeth. >.< Averted with his candy addiction, which he just kicked in general, no replacement. * [[{{Tropers/BiblioMatsuri}} This troper]] has three addictions: books (good, if [[IJustWantToHaveFriends an annoying emotional]] [[FriendlessBackground dependency]]), chocolate (bad, especially with heartburn), and the Internet. 1 and 2 were learned from my father and mother, respectively. The kicker is, my Internet (scanlations, TVTropes, Facebook) replaced my anime/TV addiction - but [[ItGotWorse it's an even bigger drain on my time!]] [[FailureIsTheOnlyOption I can't win.]] * Is troper ''Frostsabre'' the first one to point out that many people attempt to kick online game and MMO addictions by playing other MMO games, like what happened to me? (such as WoW for Rift) * [[{{Tropers/kicking_k}} This troper]] has definitely noticed a worsening in her internet addiction since she got pregnant and had to give up coffee. She's staying well away from anything worse. ---We know you're addicted to this page. But if you try going to AddictionDisplacement, it might help you kick the dependency. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AdjacentToThisCompleteBreakfast * [[Tropers/{{Pittsburghmuggle}} I'm so pleased to see this trope]], because I picked up on this as a teenager - saying to my mother "You know, by this logic you could include motor oil by a breakfast and say 'Motor oil is a part of this balanced breakfast'".

AdjectiveNounFred * This troper has a little cousin with two middle names... Interestingly, those names just happen to be, in this order, "Unique Epiphany Ambria". Seriously. * This Troper, who's full name shall remain secret, recently had his middle name legally changed to [[ThePhiladelphiaStory C.K. Dexter Haven.]] ---I wonder what your parents were thinking when they named you [[AdjectiveNounFred Funny Trope Joe.]] ----

AdjustingYourGlasses * This Troper uses type three to pretty much show somebody that he just said something stupid. To adjust her glasses on a normal basis (which is needed frequently, as they are too loose), she just hits the side with the top of her hand. But, she knows a girl who adjusts her glasses by ''headbanging'' ** Considering that's how I fix my headphones and my hair and occasionally other various objects which may be atop my head, I can only imagine that ''if'' I wore glasses, I would do that. * I adjust my glasses by the bridge, and do that whenever I'm making a serious point. No one seems to notice, to my misfortune.. * I hadn't even paid attention to it before editing this page, but I've apparently developed a habit of adjusting my glasses with the thumb and the middle finger positioned on the hinges, with the rest of the fingers in a vaguely FacePalm-like spread. No idea where I've picked it up from, but I suppose it has to do with how often I get my hands dirty and want to minimize contact with both my glasses and my skin. Other anecdotes? ** I do that as well. Other times, I grab the top and bottom of one lens with my thumb and index finger and adjust them that way as well. *** I consciously developed that habit because I think pushing my glasses up that way makes me look cool. * SquealingSandry Due to the fact that my ears are apparently set too far forward on my head (you can't tell by looking, but they are), my glasses are 'always'' sliding down my nose. I usually adjust them with either the index or middle fingers to the bridge, though I used to do the "thumb and middle finger on the hinges" thing before I learned to drive, and that it was hard to do so with your eyes blocked by the hand adjusting your glasses... * [[{{Bookhobbit}} This troper]] does the by-the-bride-with-one-finger type. Like the above example, hers slide down a lot. Since she likes to glare over her glasses at people, this is handy, because it's a

good gesture to punctuate said glare. * This troper has OCD, and her need for symetrical touch causes her to grip each side of the glasses, and painstakingly position them exactly right. It's a surprisingly long procedre. this troper usually has to slide them down her nose, up her forehead, then lift the glasses and tap the sides against her ears two times before it feels right to put them into position. * [[{{Ryumaru}} This Troper]] is always doing method 3. I'm a mix of the Eastern and Western views. * This Troper has developed the habit to adjust her glasses. And it irritates her brother to no end. * [[HappyDuck This troper]] is always adjusting her glasses. ALWAYS. * [[KissofCamine This troper]] usually does method 2, but if she's feeling annoyed she'll do method three with her middle finger to express her displeasure without getting in trouble. * [[SerenYGogledd This Troper]] adjusts hers using method 3, although she's never tried the "flipping the bird" variant. * I do method #2, only I use my thumb,index, and middle finger using one hand. * This troper just got glasses, and finds that she really only needs to adjust them a lot when she's nervous or upset about something. * This troper's glasses don't usually slip down his face, but when they do he usually uses that one finger method. Though he does take the glasses by the hinge between the thumb and forefinger and sort of shake them to adjust the little things that go on the sides of your nose, otherwise they feel weird. * This troper uses method #3. A LOT. Either with my index finger, index and middle finger or my little finger if I'm holding chopsticks or other kinds of cutlery. * This troper has been wearing glasses for 10 months and been adjusting them with method #3 the whole time. * This troper uses #3, namely due to the fact that it involves the least chances to smudge her glasses (something that bugs the hell out of her). How exactly depends on the hand- right is pointer only, other fingers curled in a fist, left is middle but with all fingers out and slightly curved. Her father and brother tried to get her to use just her middle finger when she first got glasses. * This troper has used #3 unconsciously for as long as he can remember. The fact that this apparently makes him a BadassBookworm made him smile. =D * I do number #2 mainly, though #3 happens sometimes. * I tend put a finger on the bridge and my thumb on a hinge, except when they need left-to-right adjustment(which is more often, come to think of it). * This troper has something like 12 different ways of adjusting glasses. Some have wondered, especially during poker games, whether they are actually hidden ways for TheStoic to express emotion. They don't realize that I pick a random object in view and adjust according to it's texture. HilarityEnsues. * [[{{Melvar}} This Troper]] tried #3, but it doesn’t work properly, so it’s either the Thumb and Middle Finger on the Hinges method, or (if both hands are free) pulling the little fingers back along the

arms, pulling any hair trapped under them out while pushing the hooks back into place (this is also necessary immediately after putting them on). * This troper started wearing glasses about a year ago. She was originally a #2, but ended up having to adjust both sides that way to feel "even," so she switched to both because it was easier and for the effect. This was shortly after she was introduced to OuranHighSchoolHostClub. * This troper does method three. As the above troper said, it's a good way to punctuate glares. * Since my nose is super waxy or something, my glasses slide down all the time. Usually I put my left index finger on the bottom corner of the lense and push it back up that way. If I'm in company, I adjust my glasses constantly by the hinges. My friend's anime-obessessed cousin refers to me as "meganekko" when he talks to me to says something about me (ex: Meganekko! You look nice!)...and I ''answer'' to that. * [[@/{{Quillpaw}} This troper]] has a variant of method two, pushing her glasses up by the hinge and corner of the lens with the knuckle of her middle finger. It's more of an absent rubbing gesture, really. She also occasionally takes one lens between her thumb and forefinger, a sort of one-handed "goggle" variant. * This troper normally uses method three, normally using the index finger on my left hand but sometimes I use my left thumb instead. Occasionally I will to a method four, in this case, tilting my head back 90 degrees so my glasses slide back against my face and then tilting forward slowly so they come to rest on my nose. * This troper's glasses have a habit of sliding a bit, since they're somewhat crooked, and so he uses method three. * I push 'em up [[{{Naruto}} Shino]]-style. * This troper adjusts her glasses so much, that even when I'm not wearing them I reach to adjust them. ** This troper does that too! She's use to them being on her face all the time except when she's sleeping or bathing. * This troper wears bifocals, so when the glasses slip, It screws with my vision completely. Doesn't help that the only way that they could be slipperier is if they were coated in grease. * I instinctively adjust my glasses when I'm about to talk to a nice girl or a girl I have a crush on. ** [[MoeMoe Cute!]] * This troper near-constantly adjusts his glasses using method 3. My nose must be really slippery or something. * MasamiPhoenix - I never noticed until somebody pointed out at work, but I use method three, normally with my middle finger and index finger together. Apparently, I look somewhat badass when I do it. * This troper's glasses have heavy lenses in thin, light frames, and tend to slip down his nose. Methods 1 and 2 are used pretty much equally, with varying finger placement to brace them. Method 3 is much less used since his previous pair simply snapped in half due to overuse of it. * This troper was told by many that her habit of using method 3 was disconcerting, so [[GenreSavvy after reading the TV tropes page on it]] she [[InvokedTrope consciously changed it]] to using method 2.

Apparently it looks much nicer. * This troper does an odd combination of methods 2 and 3. They slide down constantly, so she's always pushing them back up. * This troper tends to do #1 a lot, and thus generates excessive Man[[Moe]]. * This troper either does #1 or #3, depending on his mood. * [[Tropers/Loyal2NES This troper]] uses #3, though he formed the habit to avoid smudging the lens since there's usually headphones or something else inhibiting using the hinges. * This troper uses #2 and #3 equally but sometimes for reasons that I don't know I use a weird version of #3 where my index and middle finger are on the lenses. * I usually do 2, because if I do 3, I often miss and smudge, but I often have a hand busy. * I have a very subconscious habit of adjusting my glasses, which I hadn't realized until one day when it was raining too hard for them to be of much use to me, so I'd taken them off, and would continuously find myself bringing my hand up to my face before I realized what I was doing. The other members of my group found this adorable, naturally. ** I also subconsciously adjust them (almost always doing #3) and have more than once caught myself trying to push them back up after taking them off at night. * This troper started to subconsciously fix his glasses by pushing it up from the side with his index and middle finger or his thumb. I guess it's some sort of #2 variant. * This troper always does the second or third variety. Constantly. To the point of accidentally poking herself in the eye out of habit when she takes off her glasses. * [[{{Tropers/Caiaphasthesympathist}} This troper]] usually uses method 3 with his middle finger or method 2 in a weird way, grabbing both lenses and the bridge with only three fingers (or both lenses from underneath to conceal laughter), but he'll occassionally do method 2 straight when he deliberately wants to look geeky/smart. * [[{{Tropers/AlphaTB}} This troper]] uses all three methods on very regular occasions. * I use method #3 - even when I'm wearing contacts. * [[{{Tropers/Myaku12}} This troper]] seems to always use method 3. Occasionally,I'll use method 2 if they aren't that far down,but otherwise I use 3. * This Troper's friend did this when we were about to do a debate. --> Me: I'll tell you, Eliza,when we're together, we are unstoppable. --> Eliza: And that's no shit. *[[BadassBookworm adjusts]] [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome glasses]]* * This Troper does this all the time when he has to sit still, or stand still, or do anything else. Most of the time with index and thumb of right hand on right hand lens, but from time to time middle finger on bridge. ... [[BlatantLies coincidentally]]. * [[{{Main/Noelia}} This troper]] Tends to use #2 or #3 depending on the situation. [[{{badass bookworm}} but uses #3 normally using the idex finger of her right hand.]] * [[Tropers/KentuckyTroper1990 This troper]] has always used type 3,

with his middle finger. And yes, it has caused accidental bird flippage before. * [[{{Tropers/Tachikaze}} This troper]] usually uses type 2, but sometimes uses type 3 (Index and middle finger)...generally when he's about to finish a longwinded explanation or [[{{Warhammer}} turn a]] [[{{Warhammer40000}} game around.]] * This one used method three, as does apparently almost everyone else here. As a side note, she can't really imagine why anyone would adjust glasses from only one side, as they always end up feeling lopsided when she tries it.... * [[{{TheAndyMac}} This troper]] is another type 3 guy, usually, though he does seem to fluctuate between this and a type 2 at the hinges. * This Troper always does #3 - ''despite the fact that he doesn't actually wear glasses''. He usually only does it when he makes [[IncrediblyLamePun a hilarious joke]], though. * This troper always does #2, except I tend to my middle finger and thumb on the top and bottom of the lens and my index finger on top of the arm. And I always seem to use my left hand, even though I'm right handed. * I usually do Type 3. Sadly, I have not managed to pull off a ScaryShinyGlasses yet. * I always do Type 3, and have from the very first ''minute'' I got my first pair of glasses. (I wonder if this says anything about me...) * This troper frequently does #2, except he'll do it on one side, and then do it again on the other side with the same hand. He's considering doing a different way. * This troper always does Type 3, sometimes to actually adjust the glasses, but most of the time to make, feel smart. * This troper always does #2, usually when I'm pissed or trying to stop myself from saying something I know I'll regret. * This is going to sound crazy, but I actually go through all four styles, in that order, whenever I try to adjust my glasses. Pretty much I'm very OCD about my glasses, because I'm horribly near sighted without them. I use the first style as the first step to make sure they sit on my ears right, then the second style to make sure they aren't crooked, then the third style to push them closer to my face, then the fourth 'style' where I scrunch up my face and it somehow pushed my glasses forward and away from my face just a TINY bit, so that it is further than when I first pushed it up with style 3, but closer to my face than before I pushed them up with style 3. My friends and family often tease me about how I do this, but any time I don't do this in nearly the exact same way, my glasses feel really uncomfortable and I can't see things as well because they'll somehow tilt a bit. * [[@/QuackorTheFowl This troper]] usually does #2; whenever he gets ticked off at someone, [[StealthInsult he pushes them up]] [[FlippingTheBird with his middle finger]]. ** This troper does the same, except she does it out of habit, so people can't actually tell if she's doing it on purpose or not. * This Troper does this somethimes, due to a little bended handle that

cuased them to keep falling * This troper will often push her glasses up with one finger, only to squint to make them fall back into there original place. * This troper does it either by the arms or by a corner. I found that doing it by the corner kinda twists them though, so I do it more often by the arms. * When this Troper was in seventh grade (13 years old) she would adjust her glasses, which always slid down her nose, by grimacing. She'd wrinkle her nose – pushing at it with her mouth for power boost – and then stretch her face as far as she could, then relax. * This troper uses #1 and 3 essentially switching from cutie to creepy. * This troper alternates between #2 and #3, and has even used it in place of making a witty comeback in times where I can't talk (such as the Day of Silence), with about the same effect as if I had actually said it. I also have an odd hands-free variation that requires the ability to wiggle your ears. I wrinkle my nose to push my glasses up, then pull my ears back to get them to settle. When I untense the muscles in my ears, the glasses stay pushed up, settling into a natural position on my face. The last variation that is purely used for adjustments. ---You're adorable when you're AdjustingYourGlasses like that. ----

AdNauseam * {{@/Cidolfas}}: This trope has driven me insane when trying to watch FullMetalAlchemist: Brotherhood on the FUNimation site. At first the only commercial they would show would be Drew Barrymore ''Cover Girl'' makeup (missing out on the target audience much?). Then it switched to razor blades (a total about face). Now it's either AT&T, in an ad parodying an old chewing gum ad which seems designed to make you froth at the mouth, or an ad for Droid phones. I will generally see the same ad four times over the course of one 22-minute show. ** {{@/kyonko}} The same thing happened to me when I was watching HigurashiNoNakuKoroni on FUNimation's Youtube channel, except it was ads for Wheat Thins, specifically the one where they tracked down some person through a Twitter post and delivered Wheat Thins to them. There was also the time I was watching BlackButler on there, but somehow that wasn't nearly as annoying (the ads were for phones then). * Kulture: Any of the ads on or other related sites such as TheSpoonyExperiment: I live in Guernsey, I don't get Starz as a channel, we don't have a Starbucks (and those frappucino adverts are populated by insufferable wankers that I would very much like to murder, especially the cunt who starts singing for no reason) and particularly the ones for obnoxious, loathsome, insipid American shows. This is why people want to murder Americans. * Another one familiar with any TGWTG fans, is the ad for "Fiber One" cereal. To the point that I can, and do, subconsciously quote it. * On the Escapist they are constantly playing this annoying insipid ad that is both not grating enough for me to remember the product but

annoying enough for me to not want to check. ** Escapist has caused this troper to NEVER eat a slim jim again, just because of their incredibly stupid commercials that they NEVER STOP PLAYING! * CrunchyRoll with skittles and starburst * There used to be some infomercial in which a girl was interviewing a man about his program. I don't remember what the program was for -weight loss? Getting rich? Something like that. The only thing I do remember is that her name was Tracy. Why? Because he kept saying it ''over and over''. Every question he answered, he'd start with her name. "How does it work?" "Tracy, it's so easy!" "What gave you the idea?" "Tracy, I had a dream!" * [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] remembers an instance of this when watching ''TheSimpsons'' one night. When it went to a commercial break about half-way through the episode, they happened to play an ad for Taco Bell (One featuring the Taco Bell Chihuahua; to give you an idea of how long ago this was), followed by an ad for a local supermarket...and then, the same exact Taco Bell ad played again, and then the same exact ad for the supermarket once more; as the same two ads where stuck on a never ending loop, until I decided to watch something else. During that time, I occasionally flipping back over to see if maybe they've finally gotten back to the show, only to find that they where, in fact, still looping the same two ads over and over, until the credits for the show began to roll after a solid ''10 minutes''. I have to wonder if maybe they where having an office party and forgot to push the button to go back to the show... * Remolay Will sometimes just start saying "Am I annoying you?" over and over until someone either yells at him or throws something at him. * This troper will never buy Duracell batteries again following a night where literally ever other commercial on Teletoon was Duracell's ad reminding you that they donate batteries for toys that go to orphans or something. Maybe she's a horrible person, but she only needed to hear that once. * While messing around with Crunchyroll, I had the same Dell ad played. Three times in a row. * Happens when Edgy watches Saturday and Sunday morning cartoons. ---[[AdNauseam Why not return to the main article? Why not return to the main article? Why not return to the main article?]] ----

ADogAteMyHomework * Once my teachers' dog ate some of our class's homework after we had turned it in. Needless to say everyone whose homework was destroyed got a 100%. * A possum ate my homework...which was moldy bread for a science experiment * On a school excursion to the zoo, a ''kangaroo'' tried to eat my assignment. * When my dad was a kid they had lots of dogs. Apparently one of them really did eat his homework once.

* A bird pecked and nibbled a bunch of holes in my English homework one night, and naturally, it was the midterm paper the class had to write that was like twenty percent of our grades. * My own dog seems to ''love'' paper, and ate my chemistry homework once... fortunately it was intact enough to copy onto fresh paper. * My dad is a college teacher. Our dog once got into his bag and ate the his student's papers * I had to do a "writing workshop" project when I read ''LordOfTheRings'' in class. My project was a boardgame semi-ripped off of Battle Masters, and the game board was a big piece of white cardboard. My dog ate the corner off it the morning before it was due. Luckily that particular teacher was an unbelievably awesome teacher, so I just brought in the partly eaten board and a short story about how it happened, and ended up getting a 105% grade. * Come home one day, and find that my dog ripped up my $70 Year 11 Biology Textbook. Not looking forward to trying to explain to my Bio teacher why I can't do my homework... * In sixth grade, this happened to a friend of mine. He brought in the still-sopping raggedy remains of the assignment in question; the teacher, despite being awesome, still gave him a zero on the assignment. * My cousin's flatbread she was supposed to bring in lasted through several snow days and one forgetting it --before the dog got at it. She wailed that the teacher wouldn't believe her. * This troper had a weird (and ironic) variation happen to him back in elementary school: My class was given an assignment to make up the weirdest excuse as to why they couldn't finish their homework (obviously, "the dog ate it" wasn't allowed). I managed to complete it and give it to my teacher, but when I came the next day, she told me she was unable to look at it because her dog had ate it. * This troper taught her kitten to eat her sister's homework. It was extremely funny...until said kitten got a hold of my math homework. Luckily, the teacher believed me (Because he knows I would try to feed my sister's homework to the cat), and let me re do it...but now no homework is safe. * When I was in seventh grade, my puppie ate my botanical scavenger hunt sheet AND pictures and the assignment was 30% of our grade. Fortunately my teacher believed my and gave me 110% for it. * When I was one, I ate my sister's homework. She apparently got a perfect grade because she brought in the obviously chewed-by-babyteeth shreds. ** Do I know you? My best friend has a very similar story about her baby sister eating her homework. * This troper actually had her mother throw away a report that was due the following day, and had taken me forever to complete (because it was a research paper and there wasn't much information on the topic). Luckily, my teacher was one of the nicest teachers ever, and allowed me to re-do it. ---A bad dog tried to eat the link to ADogAteMyHomework, but it has been [[KickTheDog kicked.]] ----

Adorkable * This troper is apparently this, because when he called a friend ''just'' to talk about dinosaurs (and jetpacks and his plan to obtain both) she smiled brightly and informed me that I was 'immensely adorable'. * Does this count? There's a super hot girl that everybody have a crush on. Seriously, she's like, very hot. And then this troper discovered she have never kissed anyone ( she wants her first kiss to be with someone she actually cares about. Nope, not me, and believe me, I TRIED ), likes very geeky things, like watching anime, reading manga, loves spider-man, has a [[WhenSheSmiles very cute smile]], and when she starts to talk, she [[MoeMoe becomes the cutest person in the room]]. No wonder everybody loves her. * [[ I'll just leave this here, shall I?]] ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint That clock in the background is kind of cool.]] * [[Tropers/SamHuddy This Troper]] has been called one. He's young, GenreSavvy, and constantly overdresses. He likes his women the same way. * Girls who fit this trope are My dream. "Coltish" was the term he'd always used for the awkward earnestness they exude. Then again, he's been accused of the same traits, so maybe it's a BirdsOfAFeather thing. ** Hello, long-lost twin of mine! ** ...I don't suppose either of you live in Ohio? ;_; *** Nobody lives in Ohio. *** [[ClevelandRocks ..........How dare you.]] *** So wait, if I'm not in Ohio then where the hell am I?! * Does this troper count? He's tall, shaggy-haired, and is fairly intellegent. He wears crooked glasses and is currently working on a novel. Sometimes, he'll try to fit in by being a deadpan snarker or a crazy fun dude, failing at both normally. He's secretly insecure, and suffers sevrely from OCD and turettes syndrome. Whenever someone is genuinely nice to him, he'll open up and do things for them. Oh, and he backs away looking scared when a girl tries to hug him. Really, though, he's always secretly wanted to be in a loving, romantic relationship - just too shy and overplanning to make a move. ** Sounds like you do. That more or less fits my personality type, but being that my outer image is an intimidating, broad-shouldered [[BlondGuysAreEvil blond guy]] who rarely smiles and reflexively offers up a handshake when women try to hug him, I doubt I qualify for adorkability status. ** Are you my long lost twin or something? Everything beyond the second sentence is just like me. I even have turettes but I've been getting better at controlling it. * [[Tropers/LadyNorbert This troper]] considers her husband to be this. He's the sweetest, gentlest man you'll ever meet...and a colossal nerd. ** Ellise, is that you?

*** Nope, sorry. Guess I'm not alone. :) * My boyfriend to a tee. He's a tall, lanky, shy nerd whose size often makes him a bit clumsy when he simply walks. And I loves him every bit for it <3

* This troper finds herself ONLY attracted to adorkable, move over TallDarkAndHandsome. * [[Tropers/CabbitGirlEmi This tropette]] is {{Adorkable}} all over. [[ I also know a friend on the internet who is this trope. His name is Toby.]] * This troper is exclusively attracted to the adorkable or the archetypal bad-boy. If only there were more adorkable bad-boys, neh? [[BiTheWay and don't get me started on the ladies...]] ** Those two seem to be as far apart as you can get. It's like only liking freezing cold weather or really hot weather but nothing in between. *** You'd be surprised at the contradictions people can fit in to their personalities, my friend. *** Case in point: [[KatekyoHitmanReborn Hayato Gokudera.]] *** Also: [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Zuko.]] Now, if only there were some adorkable bad boys who ''aren't'' two-dimensional drawings... *** I am very fortunate to be dating one of those. It's the most amazing thing ever. ** Why would you want to go for that shallow "bad boy" thing? That's so silly, why not just go for a guy who's just plain decent, and ditch those stupid little teenybopper stereotypes? Eh, whatever. * T.T. figured out that the guy who sat close to her in math class was a bit of a nerd, but she first realized that he was adorkable when he got back a math test, literally ''shook his fists at the sky,'' and said, "Curse you, negative numbers! You have foiled me for the last time!" Of course, given the amount of time (over a year) it took for T.T. to ask him out, and the fashion in which she did so (her exact words were "something resembling a date"), she may qualify as well. (According to her GayBestFriend, she does...) Although T.T. and he are not romantically entangled anymore, they're both painfully adorkable still. * This troper doubts she would ever be happy with anyone who ''wasn't'' adorkable. She is very lucky, then, that her boyfriend is both a glasses-wearing video game nerd and one of the sweetest and most sensible people on the planet. * Apparently I am this, and my boyfriend is also. To the point where we kind of resemble a RealLife [[{{Dollhouse}} Topher and Bennett]]. * This gay troper just completely dies for adorkable guys, and hopes he can claim to be one himself. * This troper is pretty much attracted to adorkable girls. The most recent example would be when I found out in a Model United Nations that a somewhat regular-looking girl was an avid fan of anime, and loved SuzumiyaHaruhi and NeonGenesisEvangelion. She suddenly became the hottest girl in the conference. * Surprisingly subverted with This Troper. He's a huge nerd, yet behaves with confidence and composure. Especially around women, with

whom he remains on his best behavior. * This troper doesn't really count (or doesn't ''think'' she does, anyway...), but her friend Michael IS this trope. It's why he keeps getting all the girls. * My boyfriend, full stop. From the glasses and shaggy hair to the endearing, clumsy mannerisms. It helps immensely that he also writes, enjoys anime, and is a lurker on this site. It is strange that this appeals to her so much, given that her usual preference is for the tall, dark, and [[BiTheWay bifauxen]]. * [[Tropers/{{Comartemis}} This geeky, awkward, and overweight Troper]] has been told by several girls in the past that he is this trope, though he's not sure whether they were being serious or not. ** Another geeky, awkward, overweight, adorkable troper? *draws sword* [[HamToHamCombat THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!]] * Several girls have called me this. One said I reminded her of Robert Downey Jr. That's very flattering, but I don't think Robert Downey Jr usually wears spectacles, has a bad case of acne, is overweight, has really thin eyes or fish lips. ** I am your Michael Mcintyre based counterpart, though with more of a clint squint but lacking the compliments. * This troper is not small/cute/girly enough to be {{moe}}, but my clumsy, nerdy, CloudCuckooLander, ManicPixieDreamGirl behavior earned me this title when I visited the USA. Too bad swedish boys aren't familiar with the term... ** Some of us are... *** You are? Were have you ''been'' all my life? **** Let's find a better way of communication, and find out. * [[{{Tropers/Joerc45}} This troper,]] or so I've been told. * This Troper is seen as Adorkable by some of his peers... but ultimately, your mileage may vary on whether his awkwardness is charming or insufferable, or somewhere in between. Regardless, his awkwardness is multiplied by a [[AspergersSyndrome certain disorder that people love to fake on the internet]]. * [[Tropers/{{Dinru}} I]] happen to like this kind. And I happen to be this kind. And my boyfriend is the same way. Cue {{squee}}. * This Troper's friend tells her that she is adorkable, probably to make her feel better. In reality, this Troper is about 25 lbs overweight, has a boring haircut, and dresses in fairly average, unfunny clothing. Oh, well. * [[ Me]], according to my girlfriend and plenty of female friends. * Most of this lurker's friends, but two of them qualify more than anyone. One is an FPS buff with scraggly dirtyblonde hair and beard from Reno, who is not only ''freakishly fit'', but allows me to draw [[AttractiveBentGender genderbent]] art and ship him to other guys without as much of a laugh, often providing me Catharsis Through Kicking Ass In MW2. The other is a dark-haired NiceGuy from Netherlands who loves dirtbikes/BMX, Visual Kei, anime and stands my frequent bouts of [[YaoiFangirl crazy fangirl]] with good giggles. He's also appointed me his sensei in the ways of Fanatics, which is not only flattering but also ''friggin adorkable!!!''

** Also, according to my [[HeterosexualLifePartners "husbando"]], the lurker herself. Personally I disagree and [[HairTriggerTemper calling me "cute" to my face is basically suicide]], but everyone does it anyway, so who am I to argue I guess :/ * one of My best friends is almost literally scott pilgrim as played by Cera without the superpowers. our theater department did Little shop of horrors almost exclusively so he could pwn as seymore. * One of this tropers male friends fits this too a tee. I am trying to pluck up the courage to tell him I like him in ''that way''. Wish me luck! ** Luck! * This troper's boyfriend, while appearing at first to be a typical Hot Topic goth/metalhead, is, on closer inspection probably the geekiest boy she's ever met. From D&D to Lord of the Rings to Manga to painting miniatures to his charmingly advanced vocabulary, paired with the fact that he's a complete gentleman and the sweetest thing on the planet, and he lets her play with his long hair... *swoon* Apparently she is as well, which makes them a pretty sweet couple. * This Troper seems to have everyone bring this, thank god he has a strong unlikable side to him or else people would be talking about it more. * This troper seems to be this. Glasses, fairly nerdy (the amount of usele...I mean, useful, stuff I know would probably fill a very large book), streamline (or skeletal, depending on your viewpoint: I personally agree with the later) and a gentleman, I guess the only thing that takes points from me is my occational habit of being a tiny bit of a jackass (don't worry, it only happens when under a lot of pressure. Either that, or I basically shut down). The only drawback with this reputation is that I've never had a girlfriend, but, being asexual, it doesn't particularly bother me. Besides, I don't want to tell people about my fairly dark past...[[spoiler: for the curious, my parent's divorced and I had to go through four years of essentually being in limbo before I finally was too old for them to enforce a court order on me. And, even then, my mother tried to get the date extended until I was eighteen. On top of that, death seems to follow me, for the number of people I've known who have died, including four in 2009, seems to come to a rate of about one death a year. I wish I was exaggerating that, but I'm not. Is it any wonder why I got into wargaming, with all that in mind? Sometimes, the universe seems to have a very strange sense of gallows humour to it...]] ** Dude, I'm pretty sure that [[TheWoobie makes it worse,]] depending on how good your sad stare is. *** (OP here) Let's just say that my smiles look less natural than my frowns and leave it at that. And I've also realised I'm not asexual, but straight with a relatively low sex drive. * This Troper's girlfriend, definitely. A tall blond with a great figure who wears glasses, plays Pokemon despite being 16, writes scifi and fantasy stories, likes making movies, dressed up as Luna for the last Harry Potter movie premiere, has a book collection that rivals a library, and has a terrier named Odie. We also spent three hours the other day discussing Voldemort's plans and if Occam's Razor would have helped him out.

** Oh yeah, our first conversation starter was my NES with the original Super Mario Bros. * Stated several times to [[{{Tropers/NotATerrorist}} this troper]]. He's also... somewhat charming, but also a bit of a twat. * This troper is stated to be one by her boyfriend: Savvy/Enthusiastic with obsessions (i.e. Doctor Who, Tintin), optional glasses that are only meant for reading, LOVES mugs (only specific ones), tea and sweets and can be pretty clumsy too, regularly tripping up. This does also merge with Moe and Geek, in all honesty. ** This same troper's boyfriend is also Adorkable: He wears glasses on a occasional basis, collects Doctor Who figures AND plays with them, loves to discuss theories about the universe, artistic and pretty passionate about it. *** What makes us both Adorkable is our joint [[Series/DoctorWho Doctor Who]] fandom that is possibly one of the most serious things in our relationship, seeing as we both automatically bonded at first sight over it. YAY! * This troper's crush is this. Although quite conventionally attractive, her very nervous and slightly hyperactive personality, as well as the facts that she plays Call of Duty, wears glasses, and that she's one of the few popular students who actually goes to class, push her straight into NerdsAreSexy territory. * This Troper is tiny (5'1"), hyper, and has a love of all things manga and literature related, in addition to Star Trek, D&D, and cosplay. ** Are you [[Tropers/{{Jcatgrl}} me]]? * This troper loves adorkable guys. She's often said to be this herself even though she hates being clumsy and awkward, most guys find [[{{Cute Clumsy Girl}} it]] [[{{Dojikko}} endearing]]. * Behold, [[ the awkwardness]] of [[@/{{Tre}} Mr. Tre.]] He apparently is this, according to his friends. He's not sure himself though. Sadly, he's not found anyone who likes this kind of person... at least, not yet. * [[{{Tropers/Luo}} This troper]] would probably be considered adorkable if he had a particular area he could geek out over, as opposed to being something of a dork-of-all-trades. Adorkable girls, however, are his -absolute- favorite by far. * This Troper's significant other. He has the brainy specs, a love of Lord of the Rings, Doctor Who, video games, most sci-fi and fantasy novels, and Star Wars (that's how we met) among other things, as well as a stunningly large knowledge of aviation and firearms. The Troper maintains that his most adorkable moment thus far has been him letting out a literal "man-squee" (as he puts it) when he found a particular model of airplane engine in the London Science Museum's aviation exhibit. <3

* [[MaggieDynamo This Troper]] has been called pretty dorky numerous times what with her glasses, her messy bedhead hair, her random (and mostly useless) facts, and her love for all things geeky be it anime, D&D, StephenColbert or manatees. She also would rather go for guys that are nerdy like her because then she would have something to talk

with them about. * [[Tropers/TheEvilOboist This troper]] loves guys who are adorkable, going right along with my unfailing belief that NerdsAreSexy. If only I can find a properly adorkable Mormon guy. No luck so far, as they all seem to be rather blond, shallow and built, whereas I like the brunette/redhead, sensitive, non-built kind. I will keep looking until I find one! I know they must exist--my uncles are living proof! * Many of [[{{Tropers/Luna87}} this troper's]] old guy pals from high school drama club were this (but we were all always JustFriends). This troper herself has been told she's this, too. * This Troper once saw a movie theater cashier who accidentally knocked over a bunch of cups and stuttered a lot. Adorkable was the exact adjective to come to mind. * This is probably the best way to describe [[@/DarkInsanity13 this troper]] and her college friends. All of them are nerds in some way or another, and they're (mostly) all in the Library Tech course. * This troper is 5'4, has a mess of brown curls and large brown eyes that are framed by purple glasses. also tends to be clumsy and acts childish to some, (has a fasination with shiny things, can't hold her focas most of the time, randomly hugs people and likes wearing holiday things Etc: she's wearing a santa hat at school right now) enjoys video games (one of the only girls the does and is the only girl in her video game disign class. she's been called adorkable mutiple times. the guy she likes is adorkable too! :) * Pretty much all of my friends have called me this at some point since we've known each other. Quite a few of them would also qualifyone in particular looks like he could be [[{{Team Star Kid}} Darren Criss']] younger brother, and every time we have a conversation, it ends up sounding like [[{{Dollhouse}} Topher and Bennett]] minus the crush part. I turn all of these into "geek-offs" to see which one of us is the most adorkable in the conversation. I don't think he's realized yet. * I'm very much into adorkable types myself. Unfortunately, there is a low supply in smart and nerdy in this town, so she's been stuck for a while. Cue last semester, where she met someone adorably lanky, who wears glasses, loves video games, draws lots of fan-art, animates, and actually knows about most of the memes she talks about. Cue my internal fangirl squee. * I love adorkable guys. I haven't been able to find one in real life... well, a while ago, I did. September 2010, I went to a party and met a friend of a friend who is very cute. He's awkward in a very relatable way (as in I find myself going "aw, I would have done that too <3"), he understands and references the memes I talk about, he's just fun to be around, and everyone I've shown his photo to has either said "wow, he IS cute" or "he's adorkable!" Seriously, three people have actually said the word "adorkable." * This troper probably fits this. She wears [[{{Meganekko}} glasses]], is a huge Nintendo geek, and loves manga and cosplay. And useless, random facts. ** Clone. * [[{{Tropers/AstraKiseki}} This troper]] is a bespectacled female geek and a NightmareFetishist who squeals over decay and diseases as

much as she does over baby animals. She also is consistently compared to a corgi (short, stocky, big brown eyes, bouncy, always :Ding) and threatened with being [[ImTakingHerHomeWithMe taken home]] by her real life friends. Alas, not by anyone who'd take her home [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean in a slightly less wholesome fashion.]] But here's to hoping. * [[{{Tropers/Icemelter00}} This troper]] is in a show choir. Apparently the band that was at one of our concerts decided who in the show choir was cute and who was awkward. I was told after the concert that I fit into both categories. * This tropette has had crushes on exactly three boys in her lifetime: the tall, lanky, neighbor boy who always wanted to pretend we had a time machine, the awkward kid who sat next to me in Spanish class who plays about five different instruments, and currently, my best friend who's pretty much the real life version of [[HowToTrainYourDragon Hiccup]]. Adorkability overload. <3

* This troperette is bamboozled by three things. The first being a snarktacular childhood friend who loves videogames, animae, is secretly a gentle romatic soul at heart and matured into something tall, dark and handsome that makes her drool. He has no girlfriend, why? (It might be because he's a little short) The second thing being herself; 5'10, 60kg worth of gangly-framed, comic-book loving, DoctorWho addicted, fantasy writing, science-nerding, snarktastic teenage girl with a cartoonishly experssive face, masses of curly hair and a love of printed teeshirts. The third being, why haven't we hooked up yet? WHY? * Apparently, [[@/DeathToSquishies this troper]] is Adorkable to many of his female friends, who constantly throw one liners like "cuuuuuuuuuuuute~" at me. Mostly to fluster me because I'm a modest guy. I mean, sure, I do [[ stupid stuff like this]], but... * This troper's 13th grade physics teacher. High voice, very smart, funny mannerisms, skinny, shy. He wore glasses and couldn't pronounce R's. * This troper was madly in love with an adorkable guy for several years. Tall, slim, long hair, glasses, friendly, really smart but kind of embarassed about it... She knew from the first moment that she saw him that she wanted to have his babies, despite having always claimed to not be the family type. Unfortunately, her love wasn't returned. She still loves adorkable guys. Like the cute schoolteacher she saw on the bus the other day. And the hairdresser around the corner. Yes, she never thought that a hairdresser could be adorkable either, but she was wrong. I think I should get a haircut really soon. * This glasses-wearing, bushy-haired, tiny in height female troper with a love of animation and comics has been called "geeky adorable." Incidentally, most of her older friends can't seem to see her without [[ImTakingHerHomeWithMe squealing and hugging her.]] * The only reason that this troper knows that she's a romantic asexual is because she keeps fangirling adorkable guys in fiction. Now if only

she could find such a person in real life... * This female troper is most definitely one, and is attracted to adorkable males. * This is why this troper and her best friend insist that their guy friend should wear his glasses; he looks far more adorable with them on. On a related note, this troper fervently believes that said best friend is far cuter with ''her'' glasses on * People keep claiming this troper is one, to the point where none of her friends *except maybe 2* can't go without hugging her. 3 in particular always comment on how cute she is. I don't get it...*speaking while wearing a 1980's TMNT shirt* * I don't particularly look adorkable because people have told me when they first see me they think i would be one of the popular girls (I'm so not)But then I speak and people realize that i'm actually a huge dork. I love manga and batman and pokemon, and even with nerdy hobbies that I have never heard of I love listening to people tell me about them because if other people find it interesting i usually do as well. Also I have a tendency to tell stories while making wild hand gestures and weird expressions, as a result I've caught people watching me from far away laughing at me even though they have no idea what I'm saying. Or maybe that's not adorkable and just weird. XD * Subverted by this troper, who seems to only have the negative aspects of this trope: he is clumsy, insecure, and socially awkward, but not innocent, studious, cute, or particularly nice. * Hmm...considering this troper's interest, tendency of blushing, and high chance of receiving glasses and year now, I would probably fall under this. * My boyfriend has Asperger's Syndrome, so dorkiness is somewhat built into his brain. He is, by his own admission, 'rather eccentric' and 'an acquired taste.' He is the kindest, sweetest, sexiest man I have ever met. * This troper was at a basketball game in the fall. The girl he wanted to ask to prom was sitting a couple of rows above him so he decided to go up and talk to her. Problem was, he wasn't quite paying attention to where he was going. Cue him nearly tripping on the bleachers and falling flat on his face. * This troper's brother. 18 years old and 5'2 1/2" with glasses (BlindWithoutEm) and MessyHair that he's constantly trying to tame. He's rather like a bird as he's easily distracted by pretty/shiny things, and he absolutely loves someone if he likes them at all. He's also a total klutz. * This Troper managed to score a date with a pretty cute girl in a comic book store, Not geeky enough? He also did it while he was wearing formal dress shoes, tight fitting trousers, a long sleeved shirt and a pair of ''black suspenders''. * This troper finds adorkability ''hugely'' attractive in men, to the point where she can't imagine having a boyfriend who isn't this. For the record, [[UnresolvedSexualTension a lot of her friends are also quite adorkable]]. ** Also, some of this troper's own friends have described ''her'' as adorkable. To the point where this and anything similar are steadily becoming the most common compliments she receives.

* This Troper managed to score a date with a cute girl in a Comic book store, Not geeky enough? He also did it while he was wearing formal dress shoes, tight fitting trousers, a long sleeved shirt and a pair of ''black suspenders'' * This troper considers himself awkward and dorky, but has been told he fits this trope, as much as he disagrees. It's probably the glasses, inability to talk to people without staring at his shoes, proclivity for wearing too-long sweatshirts to hide his hands, and an obsession with chemistry and music. * This troper's crush. Short enough to pass for CuteShotaroBoy, wears NerdGlasses, talks funny, and likes ''{{Pokemon}}''. * This troper has a very lanky friend with big eyes who looks like Harry Potter(along with the glasses), loves anime, and gets easily distracted by cats, loud noises, and squirrels. * This troper would love to meet one. So far the three I met who nearly qualified turned out to be abusive, drug addicted, and pedophiliac. They're only this on the outside, people. * She's this adorable blonde, with a passion for many things, such as the 1940's. Anything from that era gets her too excited for words. In such a vein she also ADORES Disney films, watches and rewatches them regularly, and even makes top notch [=AMVs=] with Disney movies. Also interested in theatre and musicals. She tries to find the good in every single person, and is a pet lover (namely dogs). Also she loves absolutely loves Okami and a few other games. ** Also, allegedly (according to friends and exes) I'm one of these. Dorky and nerdy most certainly. From video games to comics, odd literature and music, I have unconventional interests to say the least. When I get to introduce someone new to them I get ecstatic, two of the longest conversations I've had were me describing the lore to TheElderScrolls games, and me going off on everything about TheSlendermanMythos. I'm told that my eyes widen and I talk even faster than normal, and it can apparently be endearing. My clothes and style...well can be summarized by how my favorite outfit consits of a dress shirt and tie, and I wear that even if I'm just picking up groceries. For some reason I'm flirted with regularly, much to my confusion (half the time I don't realize I was being flirted with till after the fact), and can never really find a way to react. And when I actually am interested in someone and try flirting things go, well I can't flirt to save my life. * This Troper's brother. He constantly dresses in suits and ties (this used to piss me of, but I've gotten used to it). His jokes revolve around his favorite songs and animes, he also gets very emotional. Also I guess... I could qualify. * This Troper's boyfriend, hands down. Total geek, 'Nice Jewish Guy'...Example? This voicemail left on her phone: Hey! Guess what day it is? The 23rd...Happy Anniversary, babe! Wait! Not babe! affectionate love you... * This troper has a friend who's a huge social studies and drama geek, and is probably one of the funniest and most genuinely liked guy in this troper's grade. This troper goes to a small private school where everybody's known each other since kindergarten, so she can tell you that on the first day of second grade, her friend came to school with

a briefcase. * This Troper, apparently. Well, my best friend called me this. I can kind of see why, I'm a bit of a geek. I'm into Nintendo games, and my best friend just introduced me to {{My Little Pony Friendship is Magic}}, and I got REALLY into it. Her and I are also into acting and singing... when I act, I'm kind of [[LargeHam over the top]], complete with [[MilkingTheGiantCow the appropriate hand gestures]]. Aside from that, my mannerisms come off as a bit geeky, or odd. I can come off as pretty clumsy or spacey at times (at least, around that best friend), which makes me act a bit awkward. She doesn't mind though, it amuses her, and she likes it. And she's also like that. I'm also good hearted (I've been called sweet a lot, because I'm a {{Nice Guy}}) and innocent. My mannerisms also come off as weird, which definitely get me weird looks (and I already get enough of those, because of the fact that I have long hair.), like if I decide to go all [[LargeHam hammy]] in public. For the most part though, I showcase a bit of a [[TheStoic facade]], to people I'm not too close with. But around people I am close with, like my aforementioned best friend, I'm as awkward and dorky as ever, much to her liking it seems. * [[TacoNinja This one's]] Australian best friend. Beanpole-thin, genius-history buff, anime/video game dork, wears ridiculously awesome hats (example: a rainbow beanie, a purple hat like something Willy Wonka would wear) LOVES Pokemon and Doctor Who and amazingly enough has a girlfriend who's practically a female version of him who dresses like Tom Baker and is equally Adorkable. Eee. <3

[[folder:Real Life]] * Alan Davies of ''{{QI}}'' and ''JonathanCreek'' fame. Any character portrayed by him has a high chance of being {{adorkable}} due to TruthInTelevision. * BarackObama. He has been seen with ''StarWars'' comics! * [[ThatGuyWithTheGlasses Doug Walker]], out of character. Best seen in the Premium Area bloopers but you can see it just as well in convention videos and donation drives. When Critic isn't seriously raging (and hey, sometimes when he is), this trait bleeds into him like whoa. * Richard Garriott, aka, Lord British. * [[AtopTheFourthWall Lewis Lovhaug]]. Though [=YMMV=] because of his voice. * [[TheSpoonyExperiment Noah Antwiler]], in and out of character. Just look for any interview in YouTube, the dude ''can't fucking believe'' that people actually like his stuff. Also, he's got a ''gorgeous'' smile. * [[AngryVideoGameNerd James Rolfe]] * NeilGaiman * AlysonHannigan * [[{{TroperTales/Adorkable}} Tropers!]] * [[HarryPotter Daniel Radcliffe]]. Especially in his [[ Harry Potter getup]]. ** And singing [[ "The

Elements Song"]]. * [[TheIncredibles Sarah]] [[ThisAmericanLife Vowell]] * [[JonathanCoulton JoCo]], [[FanNickname JoCo]], and for a surprising change of pace, [=JoCo=]. * [[SlumdogMillionaire Dev Patel]], I mean just look at him! * Conan O'Brien. * David Archuleta. David FREAKING Archuleta has the [[EstrogenBrigadeBait horniest fangirls on the planet]] * [[DavidTennant David Tennant]], and his [[ farewell speech]] to the Doctor Who cast and crew. ** For his foreword on the box set of the final Series/DoctorWho Specials, he wrote an adorable short story of his thirty eight year old self meeting his eight year old self, and telling him that one day he'll play the Doctor and have the best time of his life doing so. Just... [[ mments awwwwww]]. Note the comments, in which everyone claims to have either teared up or [[{{Squee}} squee'd]] from the cute. * Matt Smith. He's pretty clumsy in real life, and he has been seen wearing glasses somewhat often. * DavidMitchell. Intelligent? Opinionated? Vaguely self-conscious and slightly ashamed of his own erudition? Check, check, and check. * Jay Baruchel, who's like Michael Cera on geek steroids - but without the blank "I have no idea what's going on right now" look Cera often has. * Matthew Gray Gubler. ** On some DVD extras for [[CriminalMinds Criminal Minds]], IIRC, shows this. When they were filming his kiss with [[spoiler: Lila]], he was very fidgety and nervous about it, saying that he kissed maybe around three girls in his lifetime. The first time they kissed, he completely forgot his lines. He also was keen on applying chapstick and asking the cast for advice. You would think that as an actor and former model he wouldn't have been so {{Adorkable}}! * Josh Groban. * FeliciaDay. * RickMoranis may be one of the first to be this. It helps that he is [[TheShortGuyWithGlasses 163 cm (5'4'') and wears glasses about 95% of the time]]. * MichaelCera * Topher Grace * ZachBraff * Michael Emerson (Ben on {{LOST}}) may play a frightening villain, but when he's not playing baddies, he's disarmingly playful and wellspoken. [[ 17:15 in this video]], when he talks about his interests, is purely squee-worthy. * With the exception of John Romero (he's just plain sexy, no need for adorkableness), [[ every guy on this list]]. * JustinTimberlake, despite his career mainly being based on being a {{bishonen}}, has taken on more and more aspects of this as he's

gotten older. It's one reason he may have been RescuedFromTheScrappyHeap after the breakup in N'Sync. * RufusWainwright * SethGreen * [[ Anthony Rapp]]. His spazzy dance moves/hand movements make it all the more hot! * [[YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Martin "Little Kuriboh" Billany]] and [[NarutoTheAbridgedSeries Lawrence "MasakoX" Simpson]]. I think it's something about the British. * Alexander Rybak * {{JosephGordon-Levitt}}, although with {{Inception}}, he might have dropped the dork part of it. ** The guy who had a NerdGasm at playing [[GIJoe Cobra Commander]] and plays covers of Lady Gaga songs? Like hell he has! * Ed Miliband. And possibly Big Brother Miliband. * [[TalkingHeads David Byrne]] was incredibly [[ adorkable.]] [[ The so-bad-it's-good video for once in a lifetime shows it best.]] Of course nowadays [[ he just looks like a cool old guy.]] * Anton Yelchin. Most definitely. * Jesse Eisenberg. He has therapists! * MishaCollins. * Billy Boyd. * MaggieGyllenhaal. Oh, so very much. ** What? No love for her equally {{Adorkable}} [[JakeGyllenhaal brother]]? * JudyGreer ** [[ 05848742-000.jpg Sweater vests are cool!]] * YOU are probably this. ** [[TakeThatMe Naaah.]] * John Francis Daley. Moreso when he was [[{{FreaksAndGeeks}} Sam Weir]], but it still qualifies * CareyMulligan. [[ In some pictures]], she looks like she's about to laugh with a snort. * Even though he's a Hall of Fame NFL Quarterback, Peyton Manning. His little brother Eli may qualify too. * The NiceJewishBoy stereotype in Ashkenazi culture is built around adorkability. It's based around the ideals of ''edelkeit'', which embraces "studiousness, gentleness, and sensitivity". These are the qualities fitting of a Talmudic scholar, so he's perfect husband material! In Jewish culture, adorkableness = a reliable husband. * JaymaMays * David Hyde Pierce. * [[TheDailyShow John Stewart]]. May act like a goofball, but was voted [[CrouchingMoronHiddenBadass World's Most Trustworthy Newscaster]]. * ToddInTheShadows, even though you never even see his face.

* ColinFirth. So many sweaters... * DarrenCriss * YMMV, but quite a few astronauts who aren't straightforward hyperconfident [[AcePilot Ace Pilots]]. * MadelineZima, in interviews. * ColinMorgan * RachaelBella. Looks like she might suffer from a deviated septum, whatever the hell that is. * ChloeSevigny * AngelaBettis. Looks like she suffers from terrible hay fever. But, you know, in a cute way.

[[/folder]] ---Tropers by definition are {{Adorkable}}! * The person who came up with that definition doubly so. ** *blush* That was me. Thank you. ----

AdventurerArchaeologist * Tropers/DreamingApe: About the only thing that Indiana Jones gets right about archeology and archeologists is the fondness of hats. My girlfriend can attest to this as she is one herself, working outdoors on hot summer days will make you very fond of hats to keep you from getting sunstrokes. You will rarely see archeologists in the field without a hat. * This troper had a professor of Classics who was once an archaeologist, and while he didn't have adventures on a ''regular'' basis, things like being trapped overnight in the Temple of Asclepius occasionally happened to him. (What makes it even funnier is that the Temple of Asclepius is [[WhyDidItHaveToBeSnakes filled with snakes]] because in ancient times the snakes were believed to have healing properties and were cultivated there to such an extent that the temple is still a successful snake colony.) * This troper is an archaeology student who had a professor that worked in Mesoamerica. If you're lucky and if he's in a good mood, he'll tell you the story of when his team spotted unmapped ruins from a helicopter, jumped out of said helicopter into a bay full of sharks, and macheted their way through the jungle to get to it. * This troper has a couple friends who are amateur {{Adventurer Archaeologist}}s. * This troper, who knows full well what Archaeologists really do, still liked to joke that he didn't expect the amount of work there was in an archaeology class. He thought the only things he needed were a bullwhip, a revolver, and a cool hat. * This troper has an excellent story, and it is 100% true! Honestly, it is going to sound ridiculous, but it's entirely true. So last summer, I was in Cambodia, visiting various jungle ruin temples with

my parents and a guide. We were at Ta Prohm, the jungle labyrinth (notable as where they filmed the Tomb Raider movies), and I ran off ahead. I quickly managed to lose myself in the labyrinth (quite intentionally), but ran afoul of the dreaded cordoned-off area. The Cambodian government is very corrupt, and as such you have to bribe your way into anywhere interesting, and the ruins are full of armed guards. But there were none nearby, and I knew that the most interesting parts were often cordoned off... (For example, I snuck onto the roof of Angkor Wat and went exploring at dawn. It was awesome.) So I hopped the chain, and went exploring. I quickly found some incredible things, like a room of pitch darkness where I couldn't feel walls or a floor--a bottomless pit? But then I heard a guard coming! Fuck! So I scrambled up a pile of fallen stones and onto a low wall. I lay flat against the top of the wall, and watched the guard pass underneath, complete with huge gun. It was pretty terrifying! After that I headed back to safety and the right side of the chains. * A friend's father has as his job description, "Freelance Archaeologist." He gets hired out by universities to tramp around the local area, looking for ancient artifacts and fighting off the local wildlife. Said friend literally describes it as "Indiana Jones' job." ---Swing past crocodile-filled ravines, dodge poison dart traps and rob ancient temples of precious artifacts to make your way back to AdventurerArchaeologist. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AerithAndBob * This troper is the Aerith of his group of friends. There's Luke, Geroge, Ryan, Alex, and me...Kemys * Sometimes, this Troper gets the feeling her aunt and uncle just never wanted a girl. In birth order, her cousins' names are Prometheus, Bartholomew, Amadeus (yes, after Mozart) and...[[TheUnfavorite Shelly]]. * This Troper's Mother was quite insistant on giving her child the Irish equivalent of Rosie which is Roisin, and this girl later ended up in a class full of people with fairly normal names. Registration was always a [[CrowningMomentofFunny CMOF]]with confused teachers calling out a variety of pronunciations such as 'Roysin' and even 'Raisin'! * This tropette and her brothers are [[ThemeNaming Phoenix, Sphinx and Gryphon]]. With friends with names like Mel, Hannah and Jason, we stick out a bit. * This troper and his sisters are named (in order from most to least common) David (5th most popular name in the year he was born), Heather (number 8), Brooke (number 92), and Laurel (Number 542). Granted, Heather made top ten (for her year) but it was virtually unheard of not long before that. Laurel still is virtually unheard of. However, David has been one of the top ten names for over a century. * This troperette plays in an RP that had a [[BoysLove yaoi couple]] named Josh and Lureschone. My character was a YaoiFangirl. Do the

math. * This Troper's best friend has two brothers and a sister. The boys have really common names, but the parents decided to name their daughter Glenda. I have never met another teenage girl named Glenda, although all of the boys shared their names with several others in their class at school. * This troper's given names come from Gaelic. Seven of her four siblings' eight names between them are Hebrew in origin, and the eighth is Greek in origin, a slight variation on their mother's name, and belongs to the child who shares her birthday. * T.T. goes to a US college with a Korean sister school, and we have a lot of Korean exchange students. They are remarkably tolerant of the constant name-butchering from people who have never had to wrap their tongues around anything more complex than "William." * This troper's ex had cousins named 'Phil', 'Alex', and 'Keena.' * This troper's real name is Shekinah. Brother? Dustin. Granted he's adopted... * This troper used to learn in a (German) school full of emigrants, so her classmates' names ranged from 'Isabel', 'Clara' and 'Max' to 'Nadjezhda', 'Ladta', 'Nga' and 'Pascale'. Heck, this troper had a friend whose name was 'Ivanna Wu Luba' - I guess that none of it sounds normal in English, but Luba is practically the most eccentric Russian name, and Ivanna is obviously Russian as well. The 'Wu' part is Chinese. * Kind of subverted since my first name is Marcin (Martin) and my second is Ezekiel. I still think this should be my first name :D * This troper managed to escape this foul destiny thanks to her father. Her mother had decided that she wanted a Middle Ages name and was ready to call her Gondomar, like a character from a chivalry novel. Against names as Eva (Eve), Antonio (Anthony) and David, that would have surely hit the "Aerith" part. Fortunately, her father was able to convince this troper's mother to call her a variation of her mother's name that was far more common. * This troper just started a new job. His coworkers' names are Akari and Bob. Close enough? He's also from Hawaii, where polysyllabic names are commonplace. For instance, [[ atistics.html this week's winners]] of the Aerith Prize are... Madison Keli'ikuniaupunia'oemma Mera Pacarro for sheer length, and Scyralin Scottlynn Rydasha Butay for inventiveness. Claiming the Bob Prize is Ria Aimi Pena. * This troper is friends with people with names like Jessica, Alex, Kevin, y'know, all the "normal" names. Then there's his friend [[AncientEgypt Ramezees]]. Yes, named after ''that'' Ramezees, and has the god complex to match! * This troper's name isn't bad in itself, it's the spelling that's bothersome 'Rebekah' while her sister is 'Jacqueline' (also a funny spelling but far more common after Jacqueline Kennedy) and her brother is 'Nicholas'. Of course...our Mother wanted to name me 'Cassondra' so what I got is better in the long run, kind of. * This troper and her brother both have obscure Irish Gaelic names, this troper's name is Tailltiu pronounced talltee, and that's odd in a

class with 3 people named Alex, 2 people named Lauren and 2 people named Matthew ,and also faces the constant problem of people mis spelling or mispronouncing her name. * This troper dodged a bullet. His father wanted to name him Lineker. Yeap, after Gary Lineker. What did he get? Ashley. Which is a [[BerserkButton boy's name too, I'll have you know]]. He was named for the character from GoneWithTheWind, which is a source of embarrassment. Had he been a girl, he'd have had Jody. ** Same troper's ex dodged an even ''bigger'' bullet. Named Abbey, other possible names were Blodwen (she's Welsh, which doesn't really excuse the fact that that name has about as much ring to it as a rotten blancmange) and Shadow. * This troper's name is Kate,one of most common names in her country next to Ann.But Her sister's name is Roxanne,which is well...less common.Well,in eastern-european countries names are serious business.Her friend Samuel had rough time during primary school.Bonus points if you survive without a breakdown untill highschool,then your very unusual name suddenly becomes very cool * This troper and her brother both have Gaelic names. This troper's name is Deirdre while her brother's name is Seamus. At school, during role call on the first day or whenever we had a substitute, hilarity ensued. At dinner one night with her family, her mother (named Eden), brother and herself were all laughing and joking about the different names they were called by mistake. Then her dad (named Jim) said, "Boy, and to think, the worst I've been mistaken for is 'Tim'" * My cousins are named Alex and Dakota. No, Dakota is not a family name, and we don't have any connection to the states or anything like that. Also, [[GenderBlenderName they're both boys]]. * Me and my friends. Brittany, Katilyn, Olivia, Michelle, and..... Cammi. Guess which one I am. * This troper's named after a constellation. Her sister's named after an obscure character in classical Greek mythology. My first middle name is an old, German family name; my other middle name is my Cheyenne name. My sister's middle names are an old Gaelic family name and her Cheyenne name. This troper's mother is named Karma, with the same dual helping of German/Cheyenne middle names. Her brother? Oh, he's Nick. * This happens all the time at this troper's schools. She's an expat, and bounces to a new international school in a new country every two years. The mixing of names is always epic. Nikolas and Risa and Samantha and She'walay, all in the same classroom. * Well, [[Tropers/ICantThinkOfAWittyName I'm]] a variation. My younger sisters are named Emma and Sarah. My cousins are named Lachlan, Renee, Scott, and Jake. Perfectly normal. But me? I get a screwed up name out of a David Eddings book. And his books are ''fantasy,'' which makes it worse. * My friend Winona has a brother named Jed... and a sister named Hanukkah. There is also a boy in my class whose name is Tom, and his brother's name is Steele. * My name is Hana, which means 'flower' (it also means 'nose' but that probably wasn't intentional). My twin sister's name: Emily. So its Emily and Hana.

** However, it's also a bit of a subversion as her mom has stated that the name, derived from 'Emiri', means 'pretty as a picture'. *** Hana is also an alternative (and closest to the original Hebrew) spelling of "Hannah", so it might be a case of either "Aerith and Aerith" or "Bob and Bob". ** My little sister's name is Hana, and our mother got it from her African doctor's last name so it wasn't plain next to yours truly's moniker. Yes, our mother narrowly subverted this trope. * Common when a school gets exchange students. In this troper's senior year, the exchange students were: Alice, Mary, and Do-Gyun. * I'm an American of Indian heritage who grew up in a predominantly Irish Catholic or WASP Boston suburb. All of my friends had traditional Western names and Irish or English surnames. I was the odd one out. All the teachers mangled my name and I particularly stood out in early grade school, where being different was evil. College was the opposite, though. * My cousin has three kids and she likes unusual names, but one of her kids is the odd one out. Her kids are Rahel (pronounced Ray-El), Vegas (named after exactly what you think) and... Shawn. Shawn is just so normal compared to the other two. This trope would have been subverted had Shawn been a girl, as his name would have been Imara. ** Firefly Imara? * This Troper went to the same highschool with the Oregon highschool tennis player Demetrius Fang. Demetrius is most used by African Americans and Latins, and he is the only Chinese I know with that name. Another classmate is named {{Moe}}ko. Yeah, I don't know whether her parents intended. * Most of my friends have very common names, but there is one notable exception among the crowd. Because of this person, my list of friends includes: Ryan, Kyle, Grant, Matt, Alex, and ''Nyssa'', which is (according to TheOtherWiki) Greek for "beginning", Latin for "end", Arabic for "woman", Hebrew for "sign", and Scandinavian for "a friendly elf or fairy". * My one sister is named "Jana", a name no one in America can seem to pronounce correctly. It's Jan-uh, but she's gotten everything from "John-uh" to "Yan-nah". We also have an extremely odd last name, and my sister used to joke that if anyone called for her and couldn't pronounce her name, don't take the call, it must be a creditor. * This troper's cousins: Rachel, Heather, Gilgamesh and Ray-Ray. * Some of the people in this troper's group of artsy-friends are Jess, Katie, Sarah, Morgan, Becca... then Nirvana, Spike, Zara and Tamra. * In this troper's family, his grandparents had Spanish first names. His mother and her siblings all had Italian first names. This troper's name? Greek. Never mind the fact that this troper is Filipino. * The "generation" of my family are named James, Franklin, Catherine, and Timothy. I, on the other hand, got a name much later used for a certain blue fish in a Pixar movie. At least a much larger percentage of the population spell it right and it is a family name, so it isn't all that bad. * This troper literally once wrote a story starring three characters, an unnamed first person narrator, Aeris, and Bob. This was to differentiate between the two, as Bob was more down to earth and Aeris

was part of some mystical order looking for a chosen one. * This troper's old class. A Hannah, two Jades, two Brionys, a Laura, a Christina and... a Cameo and a Champagne? * This Troper's maternal family -lives- on this trope, when we decide not to reuse old family names. Among my cousins, I have a Blodwyn, a Yidr, a Romana, an Olaf (we're Welsh), a Sabella, a Mygghan, a Lexington, a Meredith, two Fletchers (though that is a family name), an Ace, and a Kal-El. Me? I was named after a European country, and only because my dad pulled veto power on my mother's original choice of "Arwen". ** Hold up...''[[{{Superman}} Kal-El]]''!? Are you by any chance related to Nicholas Cage? * Not so much a first name case, but my family name is Missimer. Go ahead, try and say it, odds are you won't be able to pronouce it correctly the first time. * This troper and her three friends. Her name is Kaya and her closest friend's name is Kika. Her other two friends' names? Xena and Fara. Okay, maybe Fara isn't that odd, but Xena? * {{AnneBeeche}}: My mother has the plain Katarzyna (Polish derivative of Catherine) as her given name, while my uncle, her brother, has the old-fashioned Polish names Jaroslaw Miroslaw. Both are still common names in Poland, but it's still a case of AerithAndBob within the family. * This troper sits next to two guys in his English class. Bob....and Chibuzo (He's from Nigeria). * I am a very odd case... My birth name is Elwyn (its Celtic), and although I love that name dearly, I decided to change it in highschool to Zane (which is almost as strange sounding). Elwyn always sounds too feminine to me and everyone who hears it... My love of emoticons doesn't help this when I'm proud enough to use my birth name online... TT_TT * This Troper is in the midst of writing a story. Of the character names he has: twins [[AmbiguouslyGay Satchel]][[spoiler: dies]] and [[ACupAngst Echo]], their sister [[WrenchWench Olivia]], their mother [[TheDeepSouth Kennedy]], and father [[CloudCuckooLander Tycho]]. [[AbusiveParents Tesla]] (also the StoicWoobie) and [[ButNotTooForeign Nikolai]]. [[DoorstopBaby D'Arcy]] (bonus points for MissingMom), her girlfriend [[PerkyGoth Gertrude]], and...D'Arcy [[spoiler: and Gertrude's (neither of them know)]] Punk dad [[OpenMindedParent Matt]]. He gives it a handwave by setting it TwentyMinutesIntoTheFuture. * This troper's friends include people named Allan, James, Ana, Mac, Stephen, Mike, Bart, Lara, Patrick, Mikki, Addy, Rurick, Seva, Cashews, Chewey, Hyuii, Koji, Viel (Vi-YEL) and Ysah (EE-sah). * This Troper has had trouble with players in games wanting to name their characters mundane things when she and the other players have named everything odd fantasy-names. The only one where she actually accepted this kind of thing was the World of Darkness game. The names: [[TheHero Jack]], [[TheLancer Arianne]], [[TheBigGuy Chiyoko]], [[TheSmartGuy Ira]], [[TheChick Justin]], and [[SixthRanger John]]. * In this troper's homeroom, there's a Richard, Ian, Kayla, Lindsay, Jake, Sami, Coty, Liz, Jessica, Rachel, Ethan, Dillon, Brittany,

Courtney, Kelly, two Ashley's...And a Rory, Emylynn, and Burgundy. * [[Tropers/WeAreSilver My]] name: Tara. My boyfriend's name: Mark. My best friend's name: Madison. My other best friend's name: ''Siyany''. Parental justification: "It sounded cool." * My three friends names are Jane, Zoe, and Kaylee, whose parents wanted something unique. Unfortunately, my name is not Inara, or River, which would have made things more hilarious. * My sisters names are Jolly (supposed to be named after actress Julie Andrews, [[DidNotDoResearch but...]], Lila, and Hala. This troper's name is Zeynab. The last two are somewhat justified, since my family is Lebanese, but Zeynab is still an odd way of spelling it, and Hala is somewhat uncommon, as far as I know. The only one with the completely Western name (Jolly) is the only one of us to actually be born in Lebanon. * This Troper's mother named him and his brother unpopular names ''on purpose'', her reasoning was that she doesn't like following fads, and wanted us to stand out. This Troper is Zachary, his brother is Joshua. Neither of us have met more than 4 people with the same name, so it must have worked out. As if having Asperger's Syndrome didn't make us both stand out enough. * Double subverted(?) with this tropette, Abigail. The year I was born, my name was barely in the top 100. Look now, and it has been in the top 10 for the past couple years. * The Chinese students at my college choose more Western sounding names so we don't have to mangle their own names. Most of them have normal names like Richard, but some of them pick something a little different ie. Kimi, Heidi and Apple. * This overheard conversation always cracks this troper up: --> Student: Wow, Saoirse. What a strange name. Is it ethnic? --> Saoirse: Yeah, it's Irish. --> Student: Cool! Are your parents from Ireland? --> Saoirse: Yes. --> Student: Do they have cool names too? What are their names? --> Saoirse: Kathy and Patrick. * I have a friend named Amarah. My name? John. * This troper suffers from this, there's Trisha, Maddie, Lindsey, and... Relin. * I have this problem in my family. My name is Monae (female), my mother is Afeni, after the [[TupacShakur slain rapper's]] mother, my grandmother's is Patsy, and my older brother? He's Anthony. ----What were your parents thinking when they named you and your sibling AerithAndBob? ----

AerosolFlamethrower * [[{{Tropers/Petewarrior}} This troper]] used to do this to "impress" his friends. But now that I know the dangers... I'll be careful. ** The dangers are most certainly exaggerated; have you ever heard of one single instance of an ignited spray exploding the can? Much like the "lit cigarette exploding the gas pump" myth, it doesn't happen in

reality. The escaping spray is too cool to transfer heat back from the point where enough oxygen mixes for combustion, a good couple inches forward from the spray nozzle. ** This troper has done this on numerous occasions and has never been worried about the can exploding. The heat is all directed away from the can, and without any oxygen inside the can itself, it would be exceedingly difficult for ignition to happen inside. That said, an aerosol can left inside of a fire makes for some impressive fireballs. *** '''''NOT A GOOD IDEA'''''. You may have gotten lucky when you've thrown an aerosol can on the fire, but for those who aren't lucky, the shrapnel can be dangerous. Even deadly. *** I've done both of the above, flamethrowing and tossing them in the fire. I tend to fire it in short bursts to stop the can heating up. As for burning the can, they've never exploded like a bomb. Usually they pop at the seams on the top. *** Even though the possibility of can exploding while doing flamethrower impressions is slim, aerosol cans were reportedly used as a makeshift bombs by children. The idea is that the nozzle is quickly taped down while depressed, and lit can is then thrown, exploding some time later. Not sure this is true, but I think that at some point when the nozzle melts, a failure could occur further down (on the other hand, there is a metal valve down there...). * A guy named Stephen Hopkins epicly fails this by spraying object with spray paint and then trying to light it on fire. * A certain person decided to light my arse on fire with this method whilst i was changing my trousers in the changing rooms in my school. My reaction was predictable, hilarious and (if you were outside when i started running with trousers around my ankles) freaking terrifying.

AffablyEvil * The BigBad in this troper's Original Fiction is a HumanoidAbomination who likes killing people for absolutely no reason. When he doesn't do that, he enjoys drinking tea, even the FBI members who are out to catch him. He even bakes a cake (a [[FoodPorn very, VERY delicious cake]]) for one of the investigators who hates him the most. * The character [[ManInWhite Ep]][[BadassAbnormal it]][[NeutralEvil om]][[EvilRedHead e]], who also goes by the name of Riddely. falls into this trope. Most people remember him for his politeness and calm demeanor, along with his PerpetualSmiler nature. A good example of LightIsNotGood. * In This troper's original fiction, a reoccurring villain is a HitmanWithAHeart who was hired by the GrimReaper to reap the immortal soul of the protagonist, he's quite good at it, and actually keeps up with an angel in close combat, and [[PunchClockVillain leaves once his employer is defeated.]] What does he do when he's not working? He's [[AffablyEvil planning a birthday party]] [[EvenEvilHasLovedOnes for his daughter]] * I've roleplayed online with characters like this. The best example would be [[CompleteMonster Manfred]][[hottip:*:Or should that pothole to BlueAndOrangeMorality? It's hard to tell, with him.]], who despite

being a rapist, considering robots, androids, and other artificially created beings (except POSSIBLY clones) somehow "lesser" by their artificial state (which is ironic for a [[{{Golem}} Gol]][[{{Pokemon}} urk]], and rather [[BerserkButton sets off]] one of my own characters, whose adopted son is an android), and indeed having [[MoralEventHorizon raped, tortured, dismembered, and murdered two androids for an unknown period of time]], is generally polite to just about everyone, including his enemies. * In one of my fictions, [[GodOfEvil the Lord of the Abyss, Craefr]] is arguably one of these. Yeah, he's a giant demon king that controls [[ElementalPowers all of the elements]] and whose goal is to TakeOverTheWorld, but he rather respectful to his subjects and cares very much about his children (except for the one whose constantly trying to kill him... for obvious reasons). * A guy who expressed desires to kill me was very nice about it. He bought me lunch and everything. * I love these guys! For one example, there's an [[SailorEarth original]] [[PerkyFemaleMinion character]] in a ''Anime/FullmetalAlchemist'' {{fanfic}} who considers the other homunculi to be her "[[{{Nakama}} family]]" and even [[MoeCouplet adopted]] [[WildChild Wrath]]. Of course she still happens to be a [[{{Revenge}} vindictive]] PsychoForHire who's more or less ChaoticStupid [[ChaoticNeutral Neutral]], or ChaoticGood on a good day.

AffairHair * [[@/HersheleOstropoler I]] have occasionally found long blonde hairs on my coat. I don't know why; my girlfriend's a [[HeroesWantRedheads redhead]] (and I correspondingly find long '''red''' hairs often) and my hair is short and black. The most likely explanations are my stepdaughter's blond streaks or people on the subway. ---Follow the strand back to AffairHair.

AFormYouAreComfortableWith * A story this Troper is writing features a mysterious fellow who has this trope written all over him. He's pretty tight lipped about who and what he really is; and in one scene where he's asked why he appears in human form, his rather laconic and enigmatic answer is, "Out of kindness." * Minor example: this troper is extremely flexible, and dislocates his arms in exceedingly disturbing fashions when bored. However, when other people are around, he abstains from these positions, as they cause most people to flip out and, in at least two instances, nearly throw up. * A LARP plot arc in this troper's system that he is running features an eldritch abomination that manifests primarily as an undead humanoid (somewhat subverting and playing straight this trope as it's something that the characters are uncomfortable with, but they aren't losing sanity.)when its real form is a derrac sea in the liquid metal the

figure forms from. This is mainly to allow him to trade for magical equipment to fuel his reverse engineering habit. * The [[AnthropomorphicPersonification Anthropomorphic Personifications]] of the six magical elements (fire, water, earth, air, light, and darkness), as well as several related arcane figures, assume the shape of attractive men and women to talk to humans- in their true form, they're [[EldritchAbmomination Eldritch Abominations]]. * When looking for work, this troper pulls his exceptionally long hair back so as not to shatter the small minds of those who might otherwise be intimidated.

AfraidOfNeedles * This Troper had a cutting episode in her life and due to that she's not really scared of minor injuries. But even then she would freak the shit out at the very thought of pricking her finger with a needle. A huge kitchen knife? Yeah, sure, bring it on. Sewing needle? ''JESUSFUCKINGCHRISTGETITAWAYGETITAWAY'' * It's a long story, but because I was kind of a sickly kid, and part of my weekly routine was essentially being held down and given injections. Sooo now when faced with a needle, I tend to cry, cling to anyone nearby and cower slightly. ...There's a reason my friend jokingly calls me River Tam from time to time. * Watch ''HigurashiNoNakuKoroNi'', and know why this troper now hates visits to the doctor. * This troper is not afraid of needles at all. Once, when she had to get shots, she laughed at everyone else for being scared FOR HER! Alas, a friend of this troper is not so lucky. The friend, who used to have problems with self-injury, was once asked why she was so afraid of needles. In fact, many of this troper's friends are deathly afraid of needles, despite not flinching at all after having broken a collarbone from being shoved into a fence. * This troper doesn't like needles. However, this tropers sister once bit a doctor trying to give her shots. * I've hyper-extended a knee; stubbed a toe so badly that it needed to be x-rayed to make sure nothing was wrong with it (was walking with a slight limp for more than two weeks); twisted several ankles; scabbed my knees so much I have scars; fell off a scooter and getting a scrape that was WHITE (left a scar); cut my knee open (down to the bone) and as soon as I got the stitches out the first time, slipped and the thing re-opened (I felt the stitches the first time too); survived more than twenty mosquito bites at one time on limbs without scars, had hundreds of nose bleeds; so many scars from scratches from my cats, yet I freak out when I see needles. One time it was so bad that I was crying (that was this January, and I'm fourteen) when my mom forced me to get the vaccine for the [=H1N1=] virus. * This tropette, who practices Tae Kwon Do, watches scary movies without getting even slightly nervous, and does various extreme sports fairly often, is scared to death by bees and will fucking run away if they even buzz close to her. * Mildly Subverted/Averted by this troper - while she has no fear of

needles herself, being diabetic, and actually finds the process of blood being drawn amusing and interesting, there was a memorable occasion at her first school, when the meningitis jabs were being given out, when the gym mats had to be laid on the floor of the assembly hall because over half of the ''boys'' had fainted at the sight of a needle. * This troper remembers his first experience with shots. His mother took him to the doctor for a regular check up and after the doctor was finished, he got out that littler pricker thingy they use to take a blood sample. Having never experienced blood being taken, he promptly flipped out and bolted for the door. He was forcefully dragged back, placed on a table and restrained by two nurses and his mother so the doctor could give the shot. This troper was seven. ** This tropette was told by her mom that when she was 5 she got a shot, quietly went to her brother, and said this: --> Me: Run, Eli! THEY'RE GOING TO STAB YOU!! ** It was the funniest thing ever as I watched two nurses and mom chase him as he bolted for the door. Good times. XD * Interestingly enough, this troper can take blood work or mangling his arm in a bicycle accident without any anguish whatsoever, but found having his braces tightened the most excruciatingly painful part of his life thus far, and flips out when someone else cuts his hair for him! ** To be fair, having your braces tightened is fairly painful sometimes. *** ''[[BerserkButton Sometimes]]?!'' *** Oh God, getting them off was ''100'' times worse for me. *** YES!! I got my braces off 2 years ago. I was honestly afraid my teeth were gonna break from the pressure the dentist was putting on them. * This troper is a strange case of this. When she was young (like 7 or less years old) she really didn't care about needles, and while she didn't watch them go in, they didn't bother her. That all changed when I was around 8 or so. I got really sick, and the only way to help me were two needles to the leg. At the time I thought, hey, this won't be so bad. But when they put the (rather large) needles in my leg, ''took them out and stuck them back in again'', while saying to her "It won't hurt a bit"... After that, I really didn't seem to like needles anymore (understatement). It doesn't help at all that this troper has kind of dark skin, and really small and deep veins... So every time they have to draw my blood it takes a long time. Like just a few months ago, I have to get my blood drawn, and they had to put the needle in ''five times'', twice in my right arm, twice in my left, and once in my hand, before they could draw the blood. * This does seem to be a case of TruthInTelevision. This ([[ShrinkingViolet young, female, shy]]) Troper once had a nurse take some blood, snicker, and tell me that I handled it better than all of the BadassBiker types she's seen in her time. * Definitely TruthInTelevision. This troper has had her lip, nose and various bits of her ears pierced with no problem, but will cry like a little girl if required to be in the same ''room'' as a hypodermic

needle - which has confused quite a few nurses and doctors over the years. It's just ''different'', dammit. ** May be because the needles for piercings don't start shooting stuff into your body, or because they just go through and out quick, rather than sticking around for a while. ** I can back this up - I have been a tattoo artist for twelve years, and have to be ''sedated with Valium or some kind of pill'' before I can allow anyone with a hypodermic anywhere near me. Makes the nurses laugh, and I've overheard at least one ER doctor talking about "irony" in hushed tones outside the curtain. (Note to other tropers thinking of calling the trope "averted" because they've gotten tattoos - it is an entirely different kind of needle, and technique, and therefore NOT actually ironic that I'd fear hypodermics.) * When having dental work done, [[@/HasherBritarse this troper's]] father has his teeth drilled without anesthetic because needles scare him more than pain does. ** [[@/{{Nixon}} This troper]] has that done himself - and has a penchant for becoming woozy/occasionally passing out if a needle or some sort of injection is required, and sometimes even mentioned. ** This troper's grandmother was the same way. The rest of the family always wondered how she could do it. ** This troper does that too, although she's never had any very bad cavities. * This troper's fear of needles manifests in his imagination running wild if he so much sat in the same room as a needle meant for someone else. He imagines the needle breaking while still in his arm, the needle missing the vein and hitting muscle or bone, the person with the needle slipping and poking this troper in a delicate area with it (most especially the eyes), or other such things this paranoid mind can think of. ** You are creating nightmare fuel for me. o_o; ** YOU'RE NOT HELPING. * While serving in the Army this troper attended a week long combat lifesaver class, the culmination of which was for each student to start an IV line on another student. No less than 3 of the soldiers in my class of around 25 went into some degree of shock as a result of the exercise. Definitely TruthInTelevision. ** This troper had something similar happen during his military service, except in this case the soldier having the IV insertion demonstrated on him nearly passed out. Another time when this troper was giving blood at the Troop Medical Clinic a private came in for the same purpose and ''completely fainted'' even before they put the needle in, and ended up on the floor. ** For a twist on the same thing, this troper, despite normally being very needle phobic, had no problem when another combat lifesaver trainee was probing the troper's arm with an IV needle. (Well, except that it hurt, because he kept missing the vein.) When it was the troper's turn to put the needle into someone ''else'', witnesses said the troper turned so pale they were afraid ''he'' was going to pass out. * This troper gives blood once every four months and even with the benefits of respect, friendly atmosphere and free food, he ''still''

gets nervous when it's time for the needle to be put in. ** When this troper gives blood, he does fine for the first 2/3rds of the draining, then gets creeped out by the fact that there is a long thin needle in his vein, and that warm plastic tube on his arm is filled with his own blood. ** Did I edit the first one of these in my sleep? Naw, couldn't be, I donate every two months. I still get the apparatus covered every time I donate, though. ** This troper loves giving blood (free cookies!) but can't watch while the needle goes in. She has to look the other way. In one instance, the nurse inserting the needle ''yelled'' at her because she shut her eyes (they don't like that because you might have passed out). The troper responded that "if I open my eyes, I '''will''' pass out." * This troper is so fearful of injections, he refuses to take blood tests and such. ** Also I was so scared during Basic Training, the medics had to calm me down by applying spray-on painkiller before giving an injectiondelivered vaccine. They still had to hold me down too. * Definitely TruthInTelevision oft [[@/{{Nomic}} this troper]]. He gets uncomfortable when around sharp objects, especially needles, and it takes him a lot of effort not to run away screaming when he has to take a blood test or get vaccinated. * Averted by [[@/{{KayKay}} this troper]], because after seeing your own operation to get stitches put in your knee, needles just become less of a big deal. ** This troper thinks the above troper is a BadAss and congratulates him. *** This troper has watched his own knee surgery and still cannot look at injections or blood withdrawals. So YourMileageMayVary. * Also averted by this troper. After watching half of your big toe be surgically amputated under a local anaesthetic (due to a squamous-cell carcinoma on the nail bed, a tumor so rare that a cousin in California that works in a cancer ward has only seen it once in more than 20 years), needles no longer intimidate. Last time I donated blood, they even asked 'Where do you want it?' and I held out both arms and told them to 'pick one'. * This troper, in her preteen years, had to be ''strapped down'' at one point so the dentist could administer Novocain. It's lessened since then, but I still have to look away/close my eyes when the needle comes up in any form. ** Inverted by this troper, who once had to have ''eight shots'' of Novocain before getting a tooth extracted. The dentist started with two, but then I complained. This was also years after needing an IV, which took three tries due to thick skin. I might not much care for them, but apparently needles are afraid of ''me''. ** Inversely, this troper is afraid of needles ''because'' it took six shots of Novocain before having the cord put in his gum to mold a crown. Bled all out in his mouth, the needle went ''through'' the gum and almost stabbed his tongue... gah. * I don't think I could ever give blood. My sister does it all the time, and just thinking about that creeps me out. Geez, I had to look

away when I got a tiny little tetanus shot. And the IV lines for my wisdom teeth removal and a broken arm, oh man. (Shudder). Strange thins is, I don't mind giving injections to others. I've given my dog a few immunizations with no problem at all. Also, going along with the trope, I'm a huge guy that doesn't mind the sight of blood. * This troper was quite loud and temperamental when little, but could easily be silenced by fellow classmates by showing her a needle. And chasing her with them; she was too focused in running to yell or scream. Even now, I have to turn away at the sight of any needle-esque object piercing anyone, even on TV. * This troper hates needles with a passion. Any time I have to get an IV is like half an ordeal. Mainly because I will move my hand a bit when it happens. Of course this troper is used to all sorts of physical punishment as being a martial artists so needles shouldn't be any problem. It was the worst when I had a needle stuck into my scrotum so the doctor's could numb the area to cut open a cyst. * This Troper ''used'' to be afraid of needles. However, when giving birth, when a needle in the spine is the only way to stop it hurting, you get over it pretty quickly. * Subverted by me. I showed signs of fear one time I went to get a blood test. It was fear of people saying annoying things. And yes, there were people saying annoying things, one of which I didn't notice until my father brought it up, the other an unfunny, cliché joke about me wanting to be around girls when the person doing the blood test told me to pretend I’m in my, "happy place", [[DoubleEntendre which now that]] [[FridgeLogic I think about it...]] I was also mad at my mother when she said that a needle would only feel like a pinch because it definitely hurt more, it didn't even actually hurt that much, but definitely not a pinch. ** I DEFINITELY agree with you over the pinching. It always feels worse. It's like somebody's slowing burning your nerves with evil cold fire as is seeps in deeper. * This troper gets squeamish from mild comments like "needle in the spine," much less even seeing a needle. This is bad enough that it applies to allergy skin tests, which involve the doctor pulling out dozens of little needles (not even real hypodermics, usually just to scratch the surface a bit) to apply to the arm or back. One was bad. Three in a row because the results were "inconclusive" was worse, with the third being dermal injections instead of the scratches. Apparently the fear was even worse when younger, including the need for the parents and a nurse to hold said screaming, panicky me down for immunizations - it took several tries because I was still moving enough despite everyone that they kept missing the vein. * This troper recalls seeing his friend (in elementary school, we had a compulsory immunization) being restrained by two teachers and a doc administers it. The kicker? A different friend of mine literally jumped over the school fence and away to his home that day before the docs are coming. * This troper ''used'' to hate getting shots because of this . . . and then he did two things that changed him: he gave blood and realized he felt giddy afterwards, and he was fully awake while his surgeon used a forceps to fine-tune his nose muscles so his eye would

be straight. That second one cured him. * As long as this troper doesn't have to look at the needle in her skin or watch it go in or out, she's fine. But disaster can occur if she does any of the above. * This troper was banned from three doctors offices until she got therapy because her fear of needles led to injuring the staff there several times. She's gotten the therapy and is able to face needles by acting like a deer in headlights and staying very very still and whimpering until it's all over. If it works, it works, right? * This troper needed to take a hepatitis vaccine shot in sixth grade. In the nurse's office, he nearly strangled the teddy bear they gave him to death before breaking down in tears and running away before he could get the shot. He's not quite that bad anymore, but needles still creep him the hell out. * This troper isn't so much scared of needles as of anything that causes pain, but I do bring helpful advice. When getting blood drawn, have them use a butterfly needle, which is smaller, and have them draw it from your hand. This way, it hurts less, and they don't have to keep the needle in as long. You may thank this troper's grandmother for the wonderful advice. ** This troper wonders if you're kidding because hand draws hurt way more on her than from the elbow bend. Requesting a butterfly needle is still good advice, though. * This troper used to flip out at needles. He got over it. * This troper used to be afraid of needles. Oddly enough, learning a SurvivalMantra by heart was what got her over it. It was the Litany Against Fear, if you're particularly interested. * [[@/JapaneseTeeth This troper]] isn't afraid of injections (although he avoids them whenever possible), but he has fainted dead away every time he gets a blood test, and adamantly refuses to donate blood. Getting medicine injected is fine, but he finds ''getting his blood drained'' to be a little scary. ** [[@/AdamS This Troper]] used to be this way. I'd look the doctor dead in the eye as he was giving me my chicken pox vaccine, but four years later, I'd '''still''' run screaming at the sight of the blood testing apparatus. I'm better now. (Thankfully, say the family members watching me as I edit this.) ** Same thing. This troper is perfectly fine with vaccine injections, but when it concerns something pointy and metallic entering the body for a prolonged period of time, she tends to freak out. She really want to donate blood, but what are the chances the people will give you a general anaesthetic? Oh! and she has made it a rule to never get a serious injury or disease that requires her to go to hospital and have those canulas in her arm. *shudder* * Played straight to an extreme with this troper. After a moment in junior high school when some poor fool pushed her BerserkButton, she bit his finger. The next day she had to be tested for AIDS. The moment the nurse tried to take blood from her wrist, this troper went on an UnstoppableRage and ended up making a mad dash for the exit with the tourniquet still around her arm. * This troper felt physically nauseous just reading this article. He has flat out refused to have an injection since Year 2, culminating

with a screaming match with his parents over a routine shot for something in High School. Oddly enough, he was recently encouraged into having a blood test. Probably something to do with the delirium causing fever he had at the time. Of what he can remember, the experience confirmed his theory that if mankind were mean to have needles, it wouldn't hurt to be stabbed with pointy bits of metal. * This Troper can't stand either being injected or having a blood test. Fortunately, his rather strong immune system reduces the need for getting shots. * Know what's embarrassing? Being an 18-year-old grown woman, being forced to get a hep vaccination, panicking and nearly bolting out of the nurse's office at the mere sight of the needle. In front of her ''father.'' While he knew that [[@/FreezairForALimitedTime this troper]] had some problems with needles, he didn't know how bad it was until he had to sit with her--and he was frankly shocked she had it so bad. * This Troper doesn't mind needles and has no issues with seeing people get shots or giving blood. However, when she gets a shot or gives blood, she always closes her eyes until it's over and the needle is put out of sight. It's not really a fear. More of a 'it's okay seeing it when it's not me' than anything else. * This is definitely the case for this editor. I. Freaking. Hate. Needles. There was one time where I was so afraid I had to get the shot on another appointment. My mom was quite pissed and called me a baby, but still... * The doctors always get a kick out of my nervousness before a shot or anything with a syringe. Thankfully, it's easy to find a vein, so they don't have to * shudder* ''retry''. Also, since I knew that tensing up would only make it worse, I eventually learned how to tense up the whole body ''but'' the arm. * Completely averted with this troper. I give blood partly out of a feeling of social obligation (being O-, universal donor) and just enjoying the process of giving blood. I only wish I could do it more often. * Oh golly, this troper plays this one out to comic extremes. I have no fear of pain, blood, doctors, or sharp things. Hypodermic needles make me scream like a sissy girl and hide. This goes back to my early childhood when, at age two, I took chunks of plaster off the walls trying to escape some boosters. At twelve I, with a nearly severed foot, fended off three nurses with my crutches and attempted to run. Oddly my operation, the one to fix my foot, bothered me very little except for the anesthesia and tetanus shot. At thirteen my dentists had to: a) extract me from a locked bathroom, b) get a little mask over my face and crank the nitrous up to possibly dangerous levels, and c) strap me to a table while I kicked and punched everyone near me while screaming like a Viking berserker. Before going off to college a handful of immunizations were required, luckily at eighteen I was mature enough, aside from a few escape and bribery attempts, to just deal with it. My method of dealing included giving a terrified babbling speech about Terry Pratchett. Most recently, at twenty, the health center people drew my blood and I barely even fainted. Of course, my immediate response was "You want some blood? Give me a

bucket and a gun". ** Wow. That is now the most insane story I've ever heard regarding a fear of needles--and this is from a troper whose father ran out into the street in his underwear and a hospital gown at the age of nine. Something like that, anyway; it's been awhile since I've heard the story. They had to chase him down. * @/JMorgan suggests that, while fear of needles is perfectly understandable, some of the tropers here could stand to grow up and quit being so silly. Then again, @/JMorgan has had pins stuck in her face since she was about twelve, and maintains that getting a shot was the most interesting part of her dental extraction... ** The extreme examples are called ''phobias.'' Yes, it's illogical, but for the people experiencing it, the fear is uncontrollably real. Some people can't just "grow up and stop being so silly," at least not without therapy. * I seem to play with this a bit. I'm only a little nervous around hypodermic needles, but this fear extends to ''sewing needles and safety pins.'' * This troper used to hate needles, but then he accidentally saw the needle entering the skin. Since then, no fear here. * @/GreatPenguin doesn't mind pricks in the arm, but when offered a choice between a prescription antibiotic or a shot administered to the gluteus region, he quickly opted for the pills. Not to mention the time he had to receive a shot in the sole of one foot. Even ''with'' a painkiller, it was extremely unpleasant. * This troper has to be ''held down'' during vaccinations, but she has no problems with the needles themselves. It's the "getting a puncture wound" part that bugs her. * [[@/PG556 This troper]] knows 2 people who are deathly afraid of any form of needle** My father, who can watch ''Blackhawk Down'' no problem, up to the point where the medic is working on a wounded soldier (can't remember the specifics, but he cringes when the IV is involved) and winces when anything on TV shows needles. He's a bit better now, though, mostly thanks to doing consulting work in Africa, that required around a dozen vaccination shots plus blood work before leaving Aus. ** Also the Indonesian language teacher at our high school, who told us once that he needed to have his blood taken for tests. He specifically told the doctor that he couldn't watch it happen, so the doc waited for him to look away, and drew the blood. Then he walked across the room ''directly in front of my teacher, holding the syringe full of blood.''' Instant KO. * This Troper has been known to develop near-extra sensory perception of her body when forced to get a needle, to the point of moving her arm the exact second the needle is supposed to make contact. With her ''eyes closed'' ** This Troper also warns of following the weight requirement. She had a friend in college that gave blood with no problems, ate her cookies and juice and '''passed out''' just as she hit the door to leave. * Possibly justified, in this troper's case: according to her mother, the nurse who administered her first vaccination as a little kid just grabbed her arm, yanked it away from her body and held it there while

she jabbed the needle in. All while this troper was screaming her lungs out. Mercifully, this troper doesn't remember this incident, but her mother still loathes that nurse and blames her daughter's needle phobia on it. * Almost averted with this troper -- she hasn't been afraid of regular vaccinations since she was 7 -- but she's rather nervous having her finger pricked, and when asked if she'd have ''four'' shots in a very recent visit she knew when to draw the line. * This Troper is * extremely* afraid of needles and has cried whenever he got any sort of needle poked into him until the age of 14. The fear however is just as strong. It is however a bit subverted by the fact that he * never* , in any way, tried to pull away his hand or to move away from the needle. He just cried, implored the nurse to stop, etc. Also, he has never at all felt weakened or close to fainting. This troper however did have his fear massively reinforced when a dentist recently needed * six* shots to anaesthetize him. * This Troper is slowly starting to get over her fear of needles after several years of monthly blood work and a yearly shot directly into her ''eyeballs''. This to a girl who, at ten years old, had to be dragged screaming out from under a chair to get her tetanus booster. That really doesn't seem so bad now. * [[@/BooBooBob This Troper]] isn't afraid of needles at all when it comes to piercings/injections/blood draws/tattoos. I AM, however, squeamish if it comes to horror movies that include scenes with razors and needles, particularly of the EyeScream variety. ** On another deal involving needles, though, is the fact that I have several tattoos and while getting them, I enjoy watching others getting theirs. I find that a little extra fat is helpful because EVERY TIME I watch a big, buff, muscle-bound guy get a tattoo he passes out from the pain. The artists tell me it's because they have very little body fat to provide a pain insulating layer. This is why I work out for bulk and not tone. :) * This troper has a mild dislike of needles, but it hasn't prevented her from donating blood and getting a flu shot. Her father, however.... When she was a baby and received a vaccination, her parents also had to be vaccinated so they wouldn't catch it from her. Her father fainted, and he was the only one who could drive. (He still hates needles, 18+ years later.) * This troper has learned the value of a Valium prescription before any surgery. Before a foot surgery the doctor prescribe me 10mg of Valium, and although it took over 4 attempts to stick the IV into my hand( one time I swear I could feel the needle slipping and sliding under my skin while they tried to find the vein) I was so far off in lalaland I didn't care. Without the Valium I probably would have had a panic attack or crying fit. * This trouble has no problems with needles, having been stuck with [=IVs=] multiple time in his life. time, a nurse stuck a hypodermic needle in my arm, and then pulled the plunger back to fill the reservoir with his blood. As I was watching, the nurse suddenly said in a worried tone, "are you going to be alright?" Apparently, this troper, who has seen other people operated on, watched a motorcycle victim in an ER pass away, and thinks "Hostel 2" was the

feel good movie of the year, got DEATHLY PALE and trembling when confronted with the sight of his own blood being drawn by a needle. * Averted in interesting ways by [[@/MrInitialMan this troper's]] sister: She was getting a tattoo, remaining cool as a cucumber--and fell asleep! * This troper's father once went to hospital and needed to be anaesthetized (I forget why). He called his wife to drive him home, as there was a risk he could faint behind the wheel. this troper's stepmother arrived, looked at the needle, and promptly fainted. the grandparents had to be called to drive them both home. * Mostly averted by this troper; she hated getting allergy shots as a child but has gotten over it, to the point where she actually enjoys giving blood. The finger prick before the donation, however, still makes her queasy. ** Well, yeah. That thing freaking HURTS. * [[@/GalenDev This Troper]] is not afraid of pain, having studied martial arts for a number of years, and has no problem with bleeding, as he owns a motorcycle, and number of bicycles, and has been involved in many accidents (not to mention the bad habit of biting his nails, thus occasionally leading to bleeding cuticles). And yet, he still goes pale and hyperventilates at the sight of a hypodermic needle, even on television. * This Troper had to be held down at her arms and legs when she was young to be given shots. She can stand gore. She watched surgery shows and remembers them from when she was two. But the thought of a needle going into her makes her squeamish. Strangely enough in an inversion, she wants to give blood. She'll just whimper when she does and wonder what the hell she was thinking. * [[@/{{Raekuul}}This troper]] is the inversion - needles don't bother him one bit, but he's squeamish to a fault about people's interiors. Blood, bad. Blood in needle, good. * This troper can get injections but has to look away or keep his eyes closed the entire time. Just seeing the needles gets his heart rate up. He has to avert his eyes when injections are shown in movies and on TV as well. * This Troper is a regular blood donor, and has a mild, disturbing fascination with needles. He does not like to look away when they tap that vein, instead he watches closely. This once made a nurse faint. * Averted with this troper. She does cry when injected, but that's just because it hurts. I am completely unafraid of needles, to the point where I will push a sewing needle under the skin on my hand just to {{squick}} people out. ** This troper has loved doing that since he was small-he still remembers the look of horror on one teachers face, when he managed to get no fewer than ten needles under his skin in class one day. * 100% Averted by this troper, who was locked into a chair with handcuffs against her will when she had to have a blood test done to be eligible for high school sports. This was done on the basis that "everyone says that they're not afraid" before the test. She knew she wasn't scared of needles, blood, or the slight pain, and when the doctor took the blood, she watched the container intently to make a point and get back at him. The look of fascination on her face ended

up frightening the doctor. ** What the hell? You are a far more forgiving person than I. I told my girlfriend about this and we agreed that in both our cases, it would be grounds for a malpractice suit of biblical proportions. I can see forcible restraint in a mental hospital, but in a GP's office for a routine venipuncture? Ludicrous. * This troper spent the first 18 years of her life deathly afraid of needles, to the point where she would bust out borderline {{Waif Fu}} if threatened with blood tests or injections (notable example: after contracting a stomach parasite on a school trip at the age of 11, this troper lost 15 pounds in under a week and was so weak she had to be carried around. And yet, she still managed to knock over a cart of medical equipment and punch a medical intern in the face when she had her IV inserted). One nose job and one cancer diagnosis/treatment later, this troper has a ridiculously strong stomach, a high pain threshold, and has become a special effects make-up artist. I gore people up for a living! * This Troper stabbed a nurse with his own chicken pox vaccine. when he was 6 years old. * This Troper may not hate needles as much as some of the people here, but still hates them nonetheless. As a kid the "solution" was to kick and scream. Now it's to read something long and detailed. Like a medical poster. Oh, and needles at the dentist don't really bug me, as I expect ''all'' of the procedure to hurt, not just the needles. The bits which don't hurt are bonuses. * This Troper is equal parts subversion and sad, sad example. He donates blood every 56 days (not afraid of needles). Goes rock climbing and platform diving (isn't afraid of heights). Once fell asleep during his root canal and various other dental jobs (isn't afraid of dentists). Is mortally terrified of eye drops. Literally must be held down during annual visit to the optometrist and be allowed a full five minutes between eye drops. Can't stand the sight, motion, or even thought of eye drops. And don't get him started on contact lenses... ** Well, [[@/NotSoBadassLongcoat this one here]] also hates eye drops, contact lenses and anything that is supposed to [[EyeScream touch his eyes]]. ** This troper doesn't know about needles (never gotten vaccinated or needed to use one) but the idea of anything coming near her eyes freaks her out. Until a year ago or so, she wouldn't go underwater, sometimes even if she had goggles. She refuses to flush her eyes out with water even when something is in them. When in the pool playing, [[BerserkButton one of the surest ways to make her very, very angry]] is to get water in her eyes. Despite being athletic and enjoying games and playing in the pool with her friends, she has been known to refuse to play a game because it involves too much splashing. She is known to do her best to get out of visits to the eye-doctor's because of the air puffs. On a recent visit to the eye doctor (she wears glasses), the doctor said he wanted to dilate her eyes. Her mother noticed the {{death glare}} being directed at the doctor's back and suggested "Maybe next time...". *** This Troper is even worse, nothing in, around or even within an

inch of my eyes, donor except for eyes, short sighted, can't wear glasses or lenses, can't have laser surgery, will try to kill anyone who even tries to put stuff in or near my eyes. ** @/{{Eban I}}, when forced to get eye drops will roll my eyes back in my head. The optometrist says "Guess you're not a candidate for contact lenses". Uh, yeah. I don't want to see things coming at my damn eye. The idea of corrective surgery on my eyes is horrifying. * Although this troper is frightened of needles, they never hurt him because after getting stitches in your head, needles don't hurt anymore... * Though I don't fear needles and find it to be a rather silly phobia (but that's why it's called a phobia), I can semi-understand why some people do. Particularly after getting blood work done a few years back. The nurse pulls out a huge needle grins and proclaims "This is gonna hurt!" Ya think?! * This troper's mother is fond of telling a certain story. When said troper and her twin sister were small, about 4, and getting some shots, her twin got her shot first. After hearing her scream of pain, this troper rocketed out of the room and had made it to the lobby before her parents and the nurse noticed she was gone. Her father had to go barreling after her. She accidentally bit her mother when she got the shot, too, because she clamped on to her mother's shirt with her mouth. ** This troper started reading that she thought that she had wrote that as something almost exactly like that happened to her and her twin sister when she was about 4. * This Troper, as a child, a BABY even, would get a needle, and, as I am told, I wouldn't even flinch, and would stare at it; whether it was a blood test, or an immunity shot. Nowadays, I do a double take when someone says "Blood Test". If they just had to cut me open to do it, I'd be okay, but I have a rational fear of losing blood from stabbing. * [[@/{{Scrounge}} Needlephobe troper]] has three tales of syringerelated dread. ** At age eight or so, he had to have a shot... And, because of fright, jumped when the needle went in, making it like a zillion times worse. Not only did the needle go deep, deep in, but he had to have the shot again because it went to far in. ** In high school, he tried to donate blood, but was so freaked out at the thought of a needle going in that his blood pressure was too high to donate. ** The most recent time he's had blood work done (several years ago, not ''nearly'' as recently as he should have, but is gonna be his last blood test for a ''long time''), he panicked, tried to bolt and had to be ''held down'' while they took his blood. * This Troper is a subversion, in that I has had rounds of allergy testing that involve thousands of injections over the course of a weekend (the joys of having relatively serious allergies), multiple times in my life. For about ten years, I was also getting an injection twice a week. No fear of needles remains after that. However, I have large veins that are apparently ideal for injections/blood tests, and am more than a little creeped out when the nurses comment on that in somewhat gleeful tones (because it's making their life easier), and

have gotten into arguments with nurses who very much wanted me to look away as they administered the injection, while I wanted to watch to make sure they were doing it right. ** Been there, done that. I used to be squeamish about needles until two years ago when my allergy injections started, so I really had to adapt. It was worth it since I now feel like I could walk through fields of pollen or inhale piles of cat fur without a single sneeze. It's like a superpower. * This troper has trouble thinking of a single male friend who is not afraid of needles. However, she and most of her female friends don't mind. I wonder what that could mean... * This troper had to get stitches in her head at the age of five after cutting her forehead. She was calmer than any cucumber explaining to all the doctors an adults what had happened and why all the way to the hospital. Then they brought the needle and medical thread. I screamed bloody murder to the point where I had about four nurses holding me down while people stopped outside the little operating space, wondering why the little troper was being tortured. To this day, she still has the scar and cannot consider the idea of getting piercings or shots without feeling ill. * This troper once had to have a pilonidal cyst removed (GAHHH) and had to be put on an IV for anesthesia . I once screamed like a girl (I'm 6'1'' and 200 pounds) in class because someone tossed something that LOOKED like a needle at me. Needless to say I was out BEFORE they pumped me full of drugs. ** Pfft. Pansy. I'm 5'10" and 160, and when I had MY pilonidal removed, all I got was two shots of Novocain up the ass and I just grit my teeth and bared it. Then proceeded to shout and cringe whenever I had to take out the packing. ** Pssh. When I had a pilonidal cyst, I had it removed three times (at least four shots of something in my butt each time, with packing removal for a week or two each time), and then FINALLY had surgery to remove the whole area for good, complete with stitches and lying on my stomach for two weeks. And I stopped taking the pain meds the first day because I threw up three times while I was on them. And I'm absolutely terrified of needles. * This Troper’s had two bad experiences, and was a complete and utter wimp when she was little. When she broke her leg in 1st grade, the ER put her under a general anesthetic so that she wasn't thrashing around as they straightened out the leg and set the bone. The problem was, they had already straightened the leg out, and were administering the anesthetic through injection. They missed the vein six times before finally getting it, and since This Troper was also afraid of needles at this point, the only reason there weren't extra injuries was because she was only six. The second time, which is probably what largely got her over her fear of needles, was when she had ingrown toenails. Both sides of both big toes. The doctor injected the anesthetic in the WRONG PLACE and only made a small band around the base of the toe numb. He did not believe that This Troper could still perfectly feel the rest of the toe. This led to 10 anesthetic injections total, 5 in each a 10-year-old. In the end, her mother and two orderlies had to hold her down while he forcibly tore

the toenails out of the flesh. Yeah, needles don't seem like much after something like that. * This troper is an inconsistent partial subversion. She hates watching the needle, tense up, don't like the pain, and will avoid getting shots wherever possible, in addition to a generalized fear of anesthesia and unconsciousness... but when the needle just has to go in, she can cope. What freaks her out to {{Berserk Button}} levels of terror is ''gas''. Her father ''loves'' to recount a particular story from when, as a child, she needed some dental surgery. Being a problem patient when it came to dentistry, the pediatric dentist had loaded her up with sedatives beforehand until she was woozy and pliable, and when it came time to put her down for the actual surgery, the nurse held up a bright orange mask and cheerfully explained that "Mr. Happy Nose" was going to put this troper to sleep... By all accounts, the drugs she was already under ''evaporated'' from her bloodstream, and she had to be held down, sobbing, for the remainder of the surgery. (The punch line being that, when it was finally over, she sat up and said "Oh, that wasn't too bad!") This fear has persisted into her adult years to the point where, when she had to have her wisdom teeth removed, she elected for a straight knockout shot with no preparation, because the idea of being given nitrous was just that terrifying. ** Played straight to an extent, though. When she went to the emergency room and had to get a spinal tap, she begged for general anesthesia beforehand -- under no circumstances did she want to be awake for having a ''needle stuck in her freaking spine''. Admittedly, the excruciating meningitis she was in the ER for may have influenced this decision somewhat... * This Troper is an interesting case. He has no problem with needles, knives, or other sharps -- as long as either of two conditions is met. Either he must be holding or controlling it in some way, or it must be obscured -- for instance, by a plastic sheath, a hand over his eyes, or whatever. * This troper doesn't fear needles being used in a medical situation, or even for torture (or simply kinky) purposes, though none of those things are her cup of tea. She does, however, whimper and cry at the ''thought'' of getting a paper cut on her hands or wrists. Holy shit. At least with a little needle you know it's coming (usually) and you can anticipate the pain. With a paper cut, you feel the sharpest little sting of pain and then you DON'T REALISE WHAT HAPPENED until it starts bleeding. [[BloodyHilarious A LOT.]] Exacto knives also frighten me more than scalpels, to the point where I can't even look at them but I'll happily volunteer to being sliced open professionally. Just not accidentally. * [[@/AnthonyMercer This Troper]] seems to have feared anything in a hospital he has to lay down for, even they're just pumping the excessive wax out of his ears, just because the first time I had anything like that done, I was getting stitches put into my foot, and the ''anaesthetic didn't work''. I could feel the needle going in an out of my foot. And all because I dropped a dinner plate on my foot although, due to a doctor with bad hearing, it's on record as a "dinner pie". * This troper was the little kid who had to held down by her parent

and would cry when getting shots. Even now at 19 she still finds herself trying to slide off the headrest when the dentist gave her anesthetic for a cavity. They had to put on the massager to keep her relaxed so she wouldn't wiggle off the chair to get away when she learned about her top jaw getting it too. * Averted by this troper, who laughs off needles and routinely falls asleep when getting blood taken, but taken to extremes by his younger brother. At eight years old, the poor boy had to be held down by no less than ''four'' orderlies and nurses, with a fifth administering a routine tetanus vaccination. He was fighting back with such strength that my mother was literally afraid he'd dislocate something or '''break his arms''' trying to escape. * This troper freaks out at seeing needles in skin and twitches at getting needles because it always does hurt. However, she still will suffer it. She'll just whimper like a baby during it. * Oh ''hell''. When [[@/RayAyanami this now-20 troper]] was 8, he had ''seven'' shots in each arm. It was so traumatizing that he did not go to school the next day. * This troper is fascinated by needles, and often will watch herself getting blood drawn (on top of donating blood) -- but only if they're in the arm. Nowhere near her hands. She had an IV not too long ago in her wrist and couldn't stand it. * This troper was very afraid of needles when much younger, but after a tonsillectomy and complications, and then a bunch of dental work several years later, needles hold little fear. He doesn't like the pain of them going in, but hypos and [=IVs=] aren't frightening anymore in and of themselves, to the point that he wanted an IV port left in his arm so he could wave it at people and make them squirm. * This troper used to be afraid of needles as a child, but subverted this trope recently. When at the dentist for a very minor filling, she requested a not-so-necessary shot of Novocain just to be safe. * Inverted by this troper; needles of the blood-drawing and shotadministering variety are just fine, yet she cannot stand the mere thought of anything else that remotely threatens the structural integrity of her skin. * Subverted by [[@/RobMandeville this troper]]. As a teen, a specialist conducted a split second medical procedure ''by surprise'' (talks to patients mother, turns, uses scissors). As a result, this troper ''has'' to see the procedure. He can handle shots and blood draws, but he ''has to watch the needle go in''. * [[@/{{Herczy}} This troper]] isn't afraid of needles due to encountering them often, however his [[TheStoic stoic]] father almost fainted when a dose of antibiotics were administered to me. * Used to be subverted in [[@/DokEnkephalin this troper]]; as an army brat relocating often through school I could re-take all those inoculations in stride ("Just stab me a few times and let's get out of here."), give blood and plasma casually, leading a nurse to remark in disappointment that I didn't flinch, and a whole office I temped for to look at me with some mix of amazement and admiration for donating to their blood drive. That changed completely after I had an EMG to test for nerve damage in my hands; that involved hours of a sadistic bastard sinking needles into my fingers, swirling them around,

electrocuting me through them, and asking, "Does that hurt?" Since then I can barely deal with needles, my whole body and breath will clench up, heart pounding, I hear alarms going off in my head and it takes all my willpower to just get through the ordeal. * [[@/BringTheNoise This Troper]] used to have this problem, but with the amount of blood the doctors are now asking him for, is getting better about it. * This troper cannot handle having a needle inside his arm for long. On two occasions, I have actually passed out, which my mother and the doctor had to try and wake me up. * This troper is sixteen and still deathly afraid of needles. I spent most of my time in the doctor's office hiding or trying to distract the doctor from giving me my shots. * While this troper has her share of this, she simply closes the eyes. It works to her. * This troper has it kinda odd . . . I don't mind about 99% of the needle. It could be pressed right up against my face sideways and I wouldn't mind. But if the pointy part is aimed at me, from any distance . . . * shiver* . * This troper has always been afraid of needles to a certain degree. I've stopped panicking at anything the size of or smaller than a needle for shots at the doctors office. But anything resembling an IV needle... That's a WHOLE different story. During my 5th grade Memorial Day weekend, I had to go to the hospital to get my appendix out. Thankfully, it didn't rupture, but I've held an intense fear of needles of the IV caliber ever since. This fear stayed quiet until the Red Cross came to my school (I'm in 11th grade at this point) and my gym teacher was asking for 5 volunteers to go and give blood, and the whole class could get a whole period off. This troper was one of those five, and managed to sit through the long wait and the testing parts without too much trouble. But then one of the ladies came and prepped me and I stating freaking out, but I managed to gather myself and told her to get on with it. Then, just as the woman was about to put the needle in, she asked if wanted to see it. I looked, saw the thing, and panicked. I wound up not giving any blood, crying a little, grabbing a couple of cookies from the food table, going out to my lunch period, and feeling really crappy for chickening out for a couple of hours afterwards. * This troper's older sister was REALLY afraid of needles, and described to this editor's younger self (I was maybe 6) how horrible they were. Needless to say, when the time to get my first needle came, I cried... Until it went in. I proceeded to laugh at my sister. * This troper is terrified of needles, to the point of bursting into tears at the merest mention of needing a needle and forgetting to breathe when one is actually in, but had to laugh when a nurse about to conduct a blood test told her about her doctor's phobia of needles - apparently she has to have him restrained every single time. * This large male troper may not be a fan of needles, but he's not afraid of them either, unless they're attached to something's ass. Bees, wasps, whatever send this troper running as fast as his fat ass will allow. As a child, bees have landed on my bag of chips as I was eating from it, and on my lap while the car door was still open,

leaving this troper frozen in place until it flew away. Once, we had a bee stuck in the back window of the car. When we parked the car, this troper had to run across the street and wait until his father got rid of it. He has never been stung, but the fear is still there. Maybe he's inherited his mother's paranoia and fears that I'll be deathly allergic to bee stings and die or something. Also, [[ this]] really didn't help. * When this troper and her twin sister were 4, they had to get blood drawn. Upon hearing her sister screaming, she hid under a small side table in the waiting room. Her mother had to drag her, kicking and screaming, into the exam room where she had to be strapped down before the blood was drawn. * This Troper finds that it helps somewhat to dull the pain/fear when getting blood drawn or getting a shot to focus on her favorite episodes in her favorite vampire-oriented manga/anime (Black Blood Brothers, Vampire Knight). Yeah, I know I'm somewhat crazy. But it kind of helps. Seriously. Just replace the mental image of a white lab coat doctor and a needle with Jirou/Kaname/Zero/Edward/name of fictional vampire character that you find attractive and/or smexy and feel the pain level go down. Try it. Just don't look at the needle. ** This troper believes you are a genius. As a younger person, my favourite character was a doctor with a fairly comforting demeanour, at least for [[NightmareFetishist someone like me]], who was also a morphine addict. It's difficult to explain to your parents (when they ask how you're suddenly acting so calm about getting stuck with needles) that oh, it's not really ''hard'', you just imagine your doctor is [[ShamanKing Faust VIII]] and you feel much more brave... * This Troper, having been once described as "You'd rush an MG-42 with a 4-inch K-bar," is absolutely terrified of needles. Oddly enough, he has no problems with preparing his dog's insulin shot; justified as "I know it's not going in me," though I still refuse to actually administer the shot. * [[@/InsanityPrelude I]] tried to donate blood a couple months ago, since my stepmom said she got over her fear of needles that way. They turned me away because I was panicking so much they assumed I would pass out. * This Troper's Aunt (who is a nurse) has found that the people who fear needles the most are people who have many large tattoos. * This troper is afraid of needles himself, but one of his friends is even worse. She caught some disease during a vacation and had to get inoculated. In the hospital upon seeing the needle she insisted she was perfectly fine and walked out, only to start feeling ill and pass out in the waiting room. * [[@/NotSoBadassLongcoat This troper]] is afraid of needles as well, but looking away and quietly singing the first song that comes to his mind helps. * This Troper is cutting the next bit because it's triggering and also extremely ARGH. [[spoiler:This Troper has been afraid of needles since her former (so very former) dentist got her by surprise and consequently broke a needle in her jaw. Digging the piece out took nearly 45 minutes, and this troper was so startled and in so much pain

her fingers cramped up on her arm and she ripped RIBBONS OF FLESH from said arm... one was deep enough that you could nearly see the bone. Her new dentist took one look at the scars and always had a towel for her to clench her hands into and at least one staff at hand to keep her from jerking and possibly repeating the experience. Ironically she's not much afraid of needles anymore since she had a summer of dentistry - three times a week, at least four hours each time - and can nowadays even donate blood - impossible before that summer.]] * This troper can take needles pretty long as her eyes are closed and she's singing a nursery rhyme to calm herself down. * Today, this troper got her meningitis shot. She squirmed away from the nurse for a good ten minutes before the nurse got mad and jammed it in as fast as she could. Scariest second and a half of my life... ** Similarly, this troper's friend has a very tall younger brother. Said tall brother once had a very short nurse who couldn't reach his arm. The nurse finally gave up, jumped as high as she could, and slammed the needle in his arm (like one spikes a volleyball) so she could administer the shot. Apparently, it hurt. * God, was I a little terror when it came to needles when I had surgery done on my face a couple years ago when I was nineteen -- the nurses insisted on pricking my finger with a needle every half hour or so for the first 24 hours and it HURT like all hell. I think the nurses were, frankly, relieved to not have to look after me anymore at the end of their respective shifts. However, oddly enough, when getting a blood test or anesthetic getting pumped into my gums at the dentist, I don't even flinch! I guess it's only when I can see the needle coming at me that I know what's happening and am not afraid of it! But seriously, when I had my reconstructive surgery two years ago, I'm certain that I was definitely going for the AnnoyingPatient trope big time! * This troper, despite otherwise generally being unafraid for his own safety to levels bordering on stupidity (medication and neurochemistry combined results in overconfidence, at least in that context), is so scared of needles he has threatened to stab the doctor with them if they are brought near him. * [[@/{{Loli-chan}} This Troper]] is terrified of needles to the point where her father had to hold her arms behind her back to keep her from punching her doctor in the face while he tried to give her a needle. This is the same girl who loves watching other people in pain, and is extremely interested in blood and open wounds. * This Troper isn't afraid of needles... so long as she can see them as they go in. She has a very hard time convincing various doctors of this, and had a blood donation nurse basically shove her to the table for the same reason (and spent the fifteen minutes of donation time basically hyperventilating because of it). * This troper is extremely afraid of needles. So is her sister. So it didn't help when her sister had to get poked with a needle about five times and showed the bruises they left. * This troper has a horrible fear of needles. In fact, she had to be held down once when she was getting a routine checkup. * This troper has gotten stitches on more than a few occasions, and is fine with them being in. However, he goes into hysterics every time

he has to get them because of the numbing shot. It doesn't help that the needle hurts like hell. Just recently, he had to get stitches for a serious wound to his finger. They had to give him two of those damn shots. * Completely averted with this troper (I basically treat needles like mosquito bites) but my friend was reduced to a sobbing mess when it came time for school shots, despite the fact that he broke his arm twice without making much of a fuss at all. * This Troper not only has an irrational fear of needles (and, by extension, anything pointy), but also of blades, inversely proportional to how thick it is. Fortunately she has had experience shaving long enough for that to not be an exercise in extreme mental trauma. * This troper isn't particularly afraid of shots, but when she volunteered to donate blood, she was much more disturbed at the sight of not the really big needle, but the plastic bag filling up next to her. She never realized how much 2 pints is before that moment. And as the nurse said, "Not your blood anymore." * I'm fifteen and I still need to be held down by multiple people when getting shots - which I only get when I have absolutely no other choice. And I'm [[NightmareFetishist the sort of person who usually doesn't mind such things as blood and sharp objects]]. * [[This Troper This Troper]] is eighteen years old and, to this day, shudders and starts to whine at the mere mention of the word needle. When she was younger saying the words "shot" or "needle" around her would trigger [[OcularGushers a stream of tears that rivaled Niagara Falls]]. She even tried running away from the doctor at one point, but her father knew [[DontMakeMeTakeMyBeltOff exactly what to say]] to make her come back. Although this troper doesn't cry anymore, she still whimpers and shudders at the thought of getting a shot. * This troper and her twin sister had to get blood drawn when they were 5. The doctors dragged this troper into the exam room, stuck her in a chair that locks you in, tied down her arm, and then drew two vials of blood. This troper screamed the whole time. Meanwhile, her sister was still out in the waiting room and had taken refuge under a table that was in a corner. She, of course, had wedged herself as far as possible into the corner. Their mom had to climb under the table and forcibly drag her out while she was screaming bloody murder and then take her into the exam room where she was also tied down to prevent her from making a break for it. * This Troper developed a fear of needles when, from around 3 years of age, she had to get regular allergy tests consisting of scratch tests and needles (up to 10 stabs during any given session). She used to have to be restrained by a couple of nurses and her mother each time. This fear wasn't helped by a bad reaction to a tetanus injection at around 14 which left her with a near-paralysed right arm for a week. As an adult she usually manages to get through most bloodwork without incident, but she always warns the nurse that she's not great with needles. * This troper has had a fear of needles since an unfortunate incident with a not-particularly-child-friendly dentist when she was 5. Blood, gore, broken bones and whatnot don't worry her a bit, but needles? GET

IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY. * This Troper loves guns. He has been shot before. He's been practicing martial arts long enough to have been battered, beaten, bashed and bruised in every which way possible. This Troper still has shrapnel in his back from an IED in Iraq. This Troper HATES. NEEDLES. * Averted and played straight by this troper and her sister, not necessarily in that order. This troper was getting a shot, and she whimpered the entire time. When her sister got the exact same shot, she didn't say a word. BUT. The next time, this troper was fine with it, having gone through it already, and just didn't look. My sister? Crying like a little girl. What happened there? * [[{{Malph}}This Troper]] used to be terrified of needles. One day he had a seizure and was in the hospital for a short time in which he had to get numerous shots. Now he has to get blood tests every few months meaning that he kinda needed to face his fear. He also had to have a minor surgery and the guy doing it stuck a needle RIGHT INTO THE NERVE ENDING (hurts like hell but is actually really effective for numbing something). Unfortunately I also have Hemophobia (fear of blood) and the regular blood tests are now bad for another reason (slightly interestingly, fear of blood sometimes goes with a fear of needles). * This Troper doesn't have a problem with pain. [[TooKinkyToTorture At all.]] But the idea that the tiniest air bubble could ''kill''. . . I get my flu shot every year, but only because my family pays me to. * This Troper doesn't mind needles, but doesn't like to see them piercing his own flesh. ** Same with this troper. She doesn’t mind needles at all, but once she sees one go in and out of her flesh, especially more then once, she loses her skull. * This troper, when he was little, used to FREAK at the sight of a needle. He'd scream and thrash and scream even louder when it actually went in. He's matured now, and except for a sharp intake of breath and inadvertent tensing, can take it without a whimper. * My brother in law is so terrified of needles that he brings my twin (his wife) into the doctor's office with him for moral support if he has to get a shot. Since I donate platelets and blood frequently (2X/mo platelets, blood when the center calls me), I find it hilarious. * This troper hates getting blood drawn because of shy veins. "STAB Oops, I missed STAB oops, missed again, let's try the other arm STAB the vein rolled out of the way, try to relax STAB." On one memorable occasion, I had faded green marker on my hand because the day before was St. Patrick's day. The technician saw it and went to stick the needle in when I said "Um, excuse me, I think that's marker." She looked up at me and said "What? No, that's a vein!" and put in the needle anyway. Then when nothing came out, she just said "Um, maybe we try the arm again..." * [[@/DarkInsanity13 This troper]] didn't used to be afraid of needles when she was small, and in fact watched as a nurse took blood for a test (the doctor was worried that the reason why she and her brother were so pale was because of some illness, but nope, just a couple of very pale red-heads), and was more adverse to her dad

ripping off the Band-Aid given to her several days afterwards. Now, while she doesn't really freak out or go to extreme lengths to get away from needles, she gets incredibly nervous. She has to do breathing exercises before a flu shot and make her mind wander elsewhere during it. Her brother, on the other hand, once had a panic attack after getting the flu shot and had to lie down. He needs this troper to help distract him while getting the needle. ** Update: Brother threw up after the last flu shot. To be fair, there were actually two involved due to the whole [=H1N1=] thing, and he was in a really bad mood and so wouldn't put up with neither this troper's nor their father's attempts to distract him or cheer him up before and during. * When I was a kid there was a nurse trying to give me a booster shot she couldn't find the vain and had to try about over five times, mild Trypanophobia was the result, now I take a small anti-freak out pill or something before each blood test or something needle related. . . I hated my childhood. * [[@/SovietKitty This quite hypervigilant troper]] has an interesting variation of this. She doesn't mind needles at all, but ''only'' if she can watch like a hawk the whole time. Even thinking about not knowing when it would go in or come out, or worse, when the vial for a phlebotomy would be changed, terrifies her. Ugh, just typing that made her shake. She's never had dental work, but might have to get some impacted teeth removed soon, and she's really hoping whomever she goes to won't give her trouble about bringing a huge mirror to monitor his/her every movement. * [[@/HoshiKami This Troper]], a coward by nature, surprisingly wasn't afraid of needles when she was little, but when she started having to take shots ''every week, or even more'' because of her bad case of asthma... ** Even worse if you consider said shots give some ''not so nice'' aftereffects. * This troper was rejected as a blood donor TWICE because her pulse was too high (gee, that's odd). After doing yoga and learning how to breathe properly, she was able to get her pulse down to an appropriate level even while nervous. Since she was able to give blood that one time, she hasn't had a problem with it since. * [[@/MalachiteDragon This Troper]]- now 19- was extremely afraid of needles when he was younger, around 7-10. Because of the anti-seizure medication he takes, he ''has'' to have blood drawn once a year to test the level of it in his system- can't be too low, can't be too high. His younger self would cry and pitch a fit whenever his father rolled into the parking lot of the hospital his mother worked at (The tropers mother, not his grandmother) who only asked one of her personal friends in the lab to take the blood. As he got older, he got over it little by little- It still hurt and he still complained later on, but eventually the skin on his arm got too thick for drawing blood from the elbow vein, so the tech at the time (his mother's best friend and a family friend) decided to try it from the back of the hand. Been doing that ever since, and for some reason he can actually watch it if its going into his hand rather then into his elbow. * shrug* ** Holy crap! I started reading your post and began wondering why I

couldn't remember posting this before realizing that THIS ISN'T MY STORY. What are the odds of there being another 19 year old troper with a seizure disorder who got over their fear of needles due to frequent blood tests? On that topic, why the hell do so many other tropers have seizure disorders? It makes it hard to figure out which post is yours when there are several other people talking about their seizures. * [[@/{{Miso}} This Troper]] has serious issues with needles due to her low, low, ''low'' threshold for pain. Last time she had to get a couple of teeth extracted at the dentist's office, she only cried when the Novocain needle was going in. She also hasn't gotten a swine flu shot, or normal flu shot, or any boosters she SHOULD have gotten either. She also hasn't gotten bloodwork done since she was a young’un' with a bladder infection. Blood and gore? No real problem. Needles? OH GOD GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY GET IT AWAY! * Me, but only during the needle pit scene in {{Saw}} II. * This Troper has been deathly afraid of needles since age 5. In a twist of cosmic irony, she must now undergo hemodialysis three days a week, which involves being stuck with very LARGE needles, three times a week. ** This troper had a similar experience, and has always needed the freezing needles prior to the dialysis needles, resulting in over 4400 needles over the course of 7 years. * This troper suffers from a (thankfully) relatively mild version of this. He will avoid needles to the detriment of his own good health and well-being, but if the stakes are high enough (recent example: choosing between getting a tetanus shot and being ineligible to register for college classes), he will make the right choice. Still hates it, though. * This troper loses all rational thought when faced with a medical needle intended for her, and all channels in her brain turns to "OH GOSH THE POKEY EVIL THING GETITAWAY". * This troper is really very frightened of needles. I've almost fainted every time I have ever gotten a shot. It's not fun. Even when I got my ears pierced I almost fainted. * This troper's best friend has a phobia of needles. She won't even look at a picture of a hypodermic without freaking out. Imagine my surprise, when she offered to come with me into the actual donation room when I went to give blood. She did, however, look away when the needle was going in and being taken out... * This troper has issues with needles regarding the fact that they go into your veins. That is scary. * [[@/{{Gerusz}} This troper]] isn't afraid of needles, but he doesn't really like when people are waving sharp or pointy stuff around him. Not like he couldn't take a little pain (in fact, he has a pain tolerance experts would call "insane"), but he generally distrusts people, even those who are officially qualified to handle those sharp/pointy things. He manages to stay calm (tough it requires a high amount of self-control not to grab the arm approaching with a needle or a pair of scissors), but he was a pain in the ass for every hairdresser and doctor he encountered when he was a small child. * Ultra subverted with me. I’m completely neutral towards needles. I

remember having to don blood, and LAUGHING as the needle sucked that dark liquid that was my blood... Its a fact, [[TvTropesWillRuinYourLife this website]] drove me insane * This Troper had no fear of needles when I was five getting his appendix out. I was fascinated by them taking blood and giving me shots and tests. Forward three years and I had an ingrown toenail. Go to the Doc's to have it removed and find out that I'm immune to lidocane. The doctor doesn't believe this and administers something like 15 shots to one big toe in a meaningless attempt to make it work. The toenail gets removed without anesthetic and I gained a fear of needles. This fear was so strong that at my annual blood draws (mother is diabetic) I had to be held down by three people. The best part, apparently it no longer applies to certain things. I don't care about [=IVs=] anymore, or lancets, which is good since I have type 2 diabetes myself but if it has a syringe attached I have to clamp down on myself in my mind and look away. This extends to those vial things they use for blood draws now. I live in fear of needing insulin because I don't think I'll be able to inject myself. * [[@/{{tenderlumpling}}This Troper]] had near-fatal lead poisoning as a child, and the treatment required weekly blood work. Even at 21, I still have major issues with needles (but ironically, I don't mind getting pierced or tattooed.). At the very least, I've mastered my fear to the point where a nurse doesn't need to sit on me just to get the blood drawn. Although more than one has written out a prescription for Valium and asked me to come back the next day. * This troper is hypersensitive, so blood test hurt like hell. One doctor didn't believe my mom when she said I don't like needles, it didn't end well. Said doctor also doesn't believe teenagers can have fibromyalgia either and called me, basically, a liar and a nutcase, The next doctor we saw was kind enough to give me lidocaine, unfortunately, that was when we discovered I'm allergic. My life is an aversion of ThereAreNoTherapists, I've been in therapy for the past six years dealing with my needle phobia. * I'm the exact opposite! Maybe it comes from having to have 8 of my teeth pulled since I was really young, since I couldn't get them out myself. Anyway, I actually prefer to look at the needle and I don't even bat an eye. I can't see why you're all so afraid of silly little needles! It's kind of cute, though... * This female troper is not afraid of shots, or sticking needles under her skin. Or blood, where she came from scabs and scars were a badges of honor. She's great with pain. However, she can't stand having her blood taken. Maybe because back when she was 12 they completely botched it and hurt her badly. She went to have her blood taken today and ran away just before the needle was inserted, saying "Excuse me! I need some air!!" When she (while in a state of panic) came back, they stuck the needle in not one, not two, not three, but FOUR (!) different places, and NO BLOOD! Even though she had been drinking water like crazy. The nurse couldn't explain it. She has to back tomorrow. even looking at the bandages on her arms makes her sick. * This troper is an inverse of most people. She has no problems with needles for medical purposes; injections don't faze her a bit, she's had several [=IVs=] in the course of her life, and she made it through

a spinal tap (which had to be done with the needle in ''the wrong location'' because it was the only way to get around the metal rods fused to her spine) with very little complaint. But she can't stand the idea of getting tattoos or piercings because the needles used for ''those'' freak her * This troper has been afraid of needles ever since she can remember. When she was six and had to get shots for kindergarten it took five corpsmen and her father (who is 6'4") to hold her down. She has gotten a bit better since then; now she only needs to squeeze something very tightly (as in decapitatingly tight). She doesn't mind watching people stick themselves means her best friend was diabetic, but will cringe at the mention or thought of needles poking people. She had her hands clenched while reading this page. * Subverted in the case of this troper, who is annoyed by the nurse at the blood donation clinic who remarks, "Ooh, you don't like this part, do you?" The piercer who did her navel said something similar. Yes, the troper tenses up and looks away when the needle goes in. It HURTS. It is not a phobia, it's a low pain threshold. * This troper wasn't afraid of needles until she was in her teens, when she finally understood the process beyond, 'it pokes you'. So when she was told a few weeks ago that thanks to her parents being negligent about her vaccinations, she had to receive SIX shots, one after the other, she was understandably upset. However she managed to get through it by wincing dramatically, joking around with her mother and the nurse, and NOT looking at the needle. Afterwards, surprisingly, the nurse and the doctor said they'd never seen someone so calm about getting so many shots. Three shots in each arms till hurts like hell though. * This troper has a teacher that is a retired nurse. She said she once got a football player who needed a shot. Big buff guy, not afraid of anything... except needles. He swore that he faints every time he gets a shot. So my teacher lied and told him to lie down on the examination table because it's impossible to faint lying down. Needless to say, the kid believed her and did not faint. * My Pomeranian is terrified of getting shots at the vet, and she even starts screaming before the vet even sticks her, meaning that she can anticipate it coming. This is probably because it hurts her more because she's so much smaller than my other dogs, who barely react to shots (although my Elkhound is scared anyway of being touched by the vets). Ironically, I'm not scared of needles myself, mainly because I've had so many in my lifetime it's not scary anymore (although I did used to get scared when I was younger, and the scene in TheRescuersDownUnder where Wilbur literally gets shot with a needle out of a gun didn't help at all). * This troper despises (hollow) needles in other peoples hands. I tense up unconsciously around them. However, it turns out that Nitrous prevents one from tensing up, or at least I couldn't feel myself tensing up. Don't know. Woke up an hour later with an ice cream cone and a missing pair of Wisdom Teeth. * This troper is not afraid of needles at all and doesn't think needles really hurt, either. My lack of reaction(and the fact I ''always'' watch) actually [[UncannyValley creeps my family out and

makes them wonder if I'm human.]] I have to ask, even if the needle did hurt, isn't it better than getting sick? I don't understand the fear. Could someone enlighten me on the subject? ** The below hyperalgesic troper's perspective: Getting sick is a ''possibility''; the pain of the needle is a ''certainty''. And if you do get sick, it's likely to be a general feeling of malaise for a little while, rather than the intense, sharp pain, and that malaise makes a ''really'' good excuse to skip work and veg out all day. So long as it's not lethal, the irritation of the disease is less noxious than the pain of injection. After all, when's the last time you heard of someone dying from rubella, mumps, or chicken pox? A deadly disease, like rabies, should be vaccinated against, but only with liberal application of lidocaine gel to the skin prior to injection. * This troper is a self-diagnosed [[ hyperalgesic]] and so has developed a mild fear of ''anything'' capable of causing pain, but is absolutely terrified of sharp, pointy objects (she can use a knife to cut up meat as food without trouble, but point one at her, even in jest, and that sick feeling of terror wells up in her stomach). To put the pain in perspective, the 27-gauge injection needle commonly used by doctors feels more like a butcher knife in her arm. It's especially annoying that it's the [[ mechanical nociceptors]], the ones that sense tears in the skin, that are so sensitive, and most tests for pain perception rely on hot/cold sensation, so she refuses to even be tested by a doctor (after all, what [[TooDumbToLive intelligent human being]] would willingly submit themselves to pain? Yes, masochism makes absolutely ''no'' sense to her). She also believes doctors should be taught that [[ lidocaine gel]] is the holy water of medicine and to use it freely for all patients, without having to be pestered for it and then chiding their patients for "[[MachoMasochism being wimps]]" or "drug-seeking behavior".. * This troper used to be fine with needles, until one summer before entering 7th grade when she had to get her tonsils out. A week before the surgery, I had to get my blood drawn. They had an intern do it to me. The intern didn't know what she was doing and tried to find the right spot and just finally gave up stabbing me and pricked my finger and squeezed the blood out. Then on surgery day I was all set for the procedure when a nurse came to put my IV in my wrist. She didn't know what she was doing and stabbed the needle in NINE TIMES before they went and got a more experienced nurse. [[UnderStatement Needless to say that was a bad experience for me.]] Now I'm entering 10th grade and if I so much see a needle, I start to hyperventilate and if I don't drink anything after getting a shot, I throw up. It got so bad that I flat out refused to get the swine flu shot and my dad had to drag me to the doctor to get it. * This troper loves to tell anyone JerkAss blood donors who call him a pussy for being afraid of needles the story of HOW this phobia enter his life. I was two years old and don't remember being sick, just tired. Around 11pm(or later it was an ungodly hour for a two year old to be awake at) one night his parents get him into car. I resume

sleeping on the way to the hospital. The next memory I have is being awaken on an hospital table bed stripped to my underwear surround by doctors/nurses in full scrubs being stabbed in various parts of his body. I tried to swat the needles out of a few of their hands but there were too many(apparently the docs thought they could get an IV in without waking me cause I was not strapped down). They must have sedated me cause I cannot remember the try that got the IV in my hand by the night nurse. It was a total of ELEVEN attempts before they got that IV in. Later I was told that I was severely dehydrated and that is why I needed the IV. For years I would break down in tears and beg my mother to take me home whenever the doctors needed to do anything involved with piercing my skin(such as drawing blood, injections, etc) I am mostly better now in that I can handled if I do not watch it. I still refuse to give blood despite having O- though... it may have been just his luck with hospitals thought, my mother told me about when I was born that the doctors freaked out cause I had O- blood and my mother didn't, going so far as to wonder where it could have come from apparently forgetting that baby-making requires two people(my father has O- as well but the docs had to be TOLD this by my mother to get them to calm down)... * [[Tropers/{{Nemica}} This troper]] once wanted to hid behind the chair in the doctor's room because she was about to get her shots. And yeah, needles still creep her out, even tough she now has the courage to close her eyes try not to think about it. * This Troper has given blood more than 150 times plus getting 50 odd shots. I have never seen the needle in my arm. Never! * This troper is so scared of needles she refused Novocain when she had dental work. She also loves gore but can't see needles on TV. Only parts of ''Pan's Labyrinth'' where she looked away? The stitches and the shot. She refuses to watch a certain ''Saw'' movie because of that one scene. * This troper would like to introduce everyone on this page to Singaporean blood donation, with a little artistic license. The first thing you get is a shot of local anesthesia in the arm. While the drug spreads around your lower arm, and you mess around with your numb arm, the nurse goes and prepare the bags. When she's done, she takes a few drops of blood to test for anemia in a copper sulfate solution. Once she's satisfied that you weren't lying in the questionnaire before the donation, she attaches a cuff to your upper arm and asks you to pump on a rubber ball until your veins are visible. That's when she shows that she's been hiding a needle 1mm in diameter behind her back and she injects into your vein. Feel free to scream. ** Things can become worse. This troper's Bio teacher once had an incident which swore him off blood donation. The nurses are experienced. They can stab the needle in with a swift, fluid motion, and strike blood. Some doctors, on the other hand, can't hit, and can't wait for the anesthesia to kick in. Once they're in, and no blood comes out, it's a matter of ''navigating'' the needle around until they strike a vein. The only side-effect apart from the intense awkwardness, the dull pain and the urge to strangle said doctor is the humongous bruise one gets on the lower arm because bruises are, technically speaking, internal bleeding.

* Dear lord, where to start with this Troper? The very thought of anything even remotely related to syringes makes him cringe... * Let's see...... I'm 13 and don't have my ears pierced. I had to be held down to get blood samples at the doctor until I was 9. I was disgusted when one of my friend's dad started beating his arm with nails (don't ask.) Et cetera et cetera... * This Troper's father is 6'3", able to throw seed bags like nobody's business, and once chased a robber out of his house with a hunting rifle when he was thirteen. However, if he so much as sees a medical needle he starts sweating and trembling. He had to be heavily drugged to get a series of needles and has started he would rather slit his wrists for a blood test. He claims it's because his father used to chase him around with a huge horse needle, which I expect would do it. It doesn't help that he married a nurse who often gives vaccinations in the kitchen. * When this troper was in Grade 6, everyone had to get their tetanus shot. I, a girl, was one of the first to take the shot and I didn't think it was too bad. However, some of the guys in my class where reduced to tears, had to go to the "panic box" for twenty minutes and were STILL complaining about it after school. * [[Tropers/ZiggyStardustForever This troper]] is '''terrified''' of needles and blood, and can't even watch someone get an injection on TV. Surprisingly, she's managed to donate blood several times, but she can only do it when she has someone with her to distract her from the needle (the one time she didn't have that, she nearly fainted - and she actually ''did'' faint during a blood test years earlier). * This troper nearly fainted when he was told that he had to get blood drawn for a simple test. I hated needles all the time, but the actual thought of filling UP a needle with MY BLOOD gave me nightmares. When it was finally time, I freaked out twice before they could put the needle in. I was shaking, crying and terrified, and my mother seriously considered taking me to a hospital to put me under in order to draw blood. Third time was the charm, as they kept me down, but I was left in a sort of Thousand Yard Stare afterwards, and it still kind of hurt about an hour later. About a week later, said mother came in to tell me the "good news" that I didn't have anything wrong with my blood. Yeah, because I was so worried that I had hemophilia or diabetes instead. The worst part? I was screaming my head off, rocking back and forth, at the age of 18. Hell, writing this, I'm STILL shaking. * This Troper was surprised at how well her dog acted when getting a rabies shot. He just looked at the vet like "Excuse me?" There had been another dog three times his size who had to be held down and muzzled to get the shot, whimpering the whole time. * This Troper always faints when she has to get stuck with a needle. Tried distracting herself by reading. Didn't work. Tried drinking water. Just got wet. A nurse suggested eating something high in protein (like sausage or peanut butter) before having it done. Well, my next check-up is in 5 months. We'll see. * Funnily enough, this troper is only afraid if needles if they're being stuck into her, not if she's the one doing the sticking. Good thing too; I plan to be a veterinarian. Recently though I've been

getting better with the needle thing, although I learned this summer when I got blood drawn that I have very narrow veins...(Thankfully it only took one try.) * This troper is trying to stop her fear of needles, considering that the one doctors use aren't gigantic and painful looking like the ones you see on TV, she managed to tolerate the ones at the dentist office because they look less like needles, and more like guns. * This Troper tends to get faint whenever she gets her shots, and often has to sit with a glass of water for a while after it's done. * Another aversion by this troper. I've gotten so many blood draws it's started to feel like almost nothing. * My moment here came when I had to get blood drawn for a survey (Note: This was my first time). However, I misheard my dad as saying "It hurts much more than a wasp" when he was saying the exact opposite. Cue [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel terror.]] * Inverted with this troper. He is afraid of basically anything, but cannot understand why anyone would fear needles. It's not like it kills you or anything. * Let me make this perfectly clear: [[Tropers/NoLimit I]] am absolutely terrified of needles. I am so afraid of them that I have stated several times that I'd rather DIE than to take them. Yes. I know. Totally irrational and I should suck it up, but I am absolutely serious. I would have. But that's not the story I'm telling. One day, I had to take a injection for school-related reason. I was being totally unreasonable. Screaming, crying, begging for any other way. But then my mom with me there told me that she wanted me to take the shot. And I did. Albeit blubbering like a baby. Let me illustrate this again: I would have chosen to die than to have to get a shot, but I did it anyway for my mom. I basically deemed my mother more important than my own life. Does that count as a CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming? * This Troper has played hockey and other sports most of his life, and has broken many bones in his body as a result. However, he is deathly afraid of needles, to the point where his body goes into full-on panic mode as a if he so much as sees one. For example, once, he was hit in the throat with a puck, which partially crushed his windpipe. He walked off the ice and onto the ambulance calmy, holding his throat, then passed out from lack of oxygen. When he came to, the doctors had to deliver a shot, and he almost pulled his oxygen line off of the tank during his panic from seeing the needle. Eventually, he got the shot... after he was strapped to the bed. * This troper has always hated needles and had to be restrained every time until he was 12. When he had to start getting regular (3 month) bloodwork at 18 as a requirement of the anxiety drugs he takes, he passed out the first time he got poked. And since then he's gotten much better and no longer passes out (sometimes gets a wee bit nauseous...) as long as he doesn't watch the blood filling up the tube. He can watch the needle go in with no problem - it normally doesn't hurt all that much anyway. But if he doesn't turn away before the phlebotomist opens the vacutainer, he passes out when he sees the blood. And he even worked at a slaughterhouse for 3 months and watched cows exsanguinate all day with no problem at all. It's only his own blood that freaks him out.

** Although it was heavily averted the last time he had to get a tetanus shot. This troper's last tetanus shot was 10 years ago when he was 16. The doc, after a routine exam, said, "welp, you need a tetanus shot." And the troper freaked. The nurse came in and saw me shivering in the chair and suggested I lay down on the bed. And I rolled over on my side and rolled up my sleeve and was still shivering in the fetal position. She laughed at me and said she'd be right back. The she came back with a teddy bear and a smile and while I was laughing at the prospect of a 26 year old male needing a teddy bear to get a shot, she evidently must've given it because I heard her leaving and I rolled over and asked what the problem was now. She said there wasn't a problem. I said, why didn't you give me the shot? She said that she did. I hadn't even felt it a tiny bit. But OOOOH did it hurt the rest of the week. To the point I had to put hot compresses on the arm to bring the stiffness down. I've taken punches that took less time to heal. ** When this troper was in the hospital for an unknown nervous condition (turned out to be a really bad anxiety attack), they had given him a boatload of valium to try and bring his heart rate down. He remembers a nice black man coming in and saying that he needed to take some blood. The troper's response was, "that sucks." Then when the man was putting a bandage on the hand where he'd taken the blood, the troper asked, "Wha~~?" And the man said, "I'm all done." And the troper said, "with what?" And the man said, "taking blood." The troper replied, "that sucks." That's the only time he's never been bothered by a blood draw. ** On a needle-note, the IV contrast dye used for CT scans feels REALLY FUNNY going into your arm from that pump machine they use. ** The worst part used to be the smell of the isopropanol prep before the insertion. Now it's the sickening "pling" that the needle cover makes when the nurse uncaps it before the shot/IV/venipuncture. ** I have a nice dentist that not only does oral conscious sedation which helps a lot but is also top-notch when it comes to injections. He proved to me that patience and skill means that there CAN REALLY BE such thing as a painless shot. Even a Gow-Gates block (which involves translating the needle past the lower condyle of the jaw joint), which I used to dread, isn't a big deal anymore. It's still uncomfortable but I don't whimper and shake like I used to. ** Funny story - seasonal flu shot. I was working as a civilian on an Air Force base but doing the same job as an enlisted member would do. I had access to just about all the perks of military life, including free flu shots. Now I was 18 at the time and really wasn't that freaked by a flu shot. But as soon as I actually saw the needle, I started to panic and I was dazed all the way back to my office. I walked in the door and said to my office mate, "I don't feel well." And then I passed out. I giggle-cried at this year's flu shot. I didn't even feel it but they made us flap our arms to disperse the fluid through the muscle tissue (reduces soreness) and I was wierded out by the thought of putting stress on a newly-injured muscle. It did work though - there was no soreness from that shot. * This Troper's Completely Badass Best Friend had to get a flu shot at school. When approached with the needle, she began to freak out. The

nurse who was giving her the shot said 'If you struggle, the tip will break off in your veins.' Needless to say, Best Friend FLIPPED HER SHIT and had to get seven people to hold her down. Seven! * I've been a needlephobiac ever since I was a baby, and recently tried to get over it by donating blood. Didn't even get to the initial finger-poke (to test your level of something-or-other) before the nurse looked at the white-faced, trembling would-be donor and gently told me I needed to come back another time. * This troper is very afraid of needles & the dentist. * [[Tropers/MsChibi This Troper]] almost fainted after having her blood drawn on numerous occasions. Shots are OK, but having blood drawn or an IV are not. * This troper was AfraidOfNeedles until having to get used to using them after being diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. Since then he has been on an insulin pump, which doesn't require several daily injections... though it does require once every 3 days using a metal needle to make room for the plastic tubing that delivers the insulin. * [[Tropers/{{Tadaru}} This troper]] was so deathly afraid of needles that he had to have his blood pressure retaken because it spiked upon hearing he had to get his MMR. IGotBetter after that. * This tropette isn't too afraid of needles. She has received them from the doctor, when getting shots, multiple times. It's a little unnerving, sure, but her method to avoid the {{Squick}} is to look away when they inject her. [[ItGotWorse However]] when she had to go to the oral surgeon to get her wisdom teeth removed, she nearly hyperventilated before they could get the anesthesia IV in... Thank god her mother was there, or she would have never gotten her wisdom teeth out... * [[{{Tropers/Ventisia}} This Troper]] is deathly afraid of shots. Sewing needles, pssh. Piercing needles? Not a big deal. Even handling hypodermic needles for whatever reason isn't too much. Actually being injected... I had to go into the doctor's this summer to get a meningitis vaccine, which scared me to death but I was braced. "One prick and it's over..." Turns out I was overdue on two others, one of which was a tetanus shot. I started crying and hyperventilating like a little kid; I was so freaked out it wasn't even funny. * This Troper once left a couple front teeth on a street in Berkeley while cycling with a friend. Said friend accompanied me to the UC dental school where the doc intended to perform an emergency root canal on one of my upper incisors. Know how a dentist's chair looks a bit like a W? The anesthetic injection (into the roof of my mouth, with a needle about five inches long) was so painful that I was stretched out in a rigid straight line across the peaks of the W. When the injection was over I glanced over at my friend...who had passed out. (Personally, I discovered that numerous injections of morphine during hospitalization following being hit by a car at age 15 pretty much cured me of any fear of needles (at least, small ones). Needles were my friend.) * This Troper always faints whenever they try to draw blood from anywhere but her finger. Even then, she's fainted a few times. * This troper is fine with needles less than four inches long, but he cannot watch it enter the skin for any reason. The reason? He had to

have a particularly long one in his foot during an operation to remove sea urchin spines when he was ten. I'll just say that I screamed so loudly that I'm surprised no one asked who was being murdered in hindsight. * This troper is so afraid of needles, I cried when I had to get my booster shot. When I was in high school, I was on the newspaper staff, and was writing an aftermath story on a blood drive we were having. I'd originally convinced someone else to go get some pictures for me, but they were sick that day, so I had to get them myself. I walked into the gym, and I could feel my knees starting to get weak. I took maybe three pictures before I started feeling sick to my stomach. I ran out as fast as my wobbly legs would carry me and almost hyperventilated from taking so many deep breaths. * This troper, a former EMT, had to take an IV class to learn how to stick people with needles. It was hilarious. Picture a young lady with an IV in her arm, holding hands with an otherwise tough firefighter so he wouldn't faint while classmates stuck needles in his great big awesome veins. Or don't, if needles aren't your thing. * While this troper has gotten better at it (she can cope by looking away when the needle's being inserted), she can still remember vividly an experience she had when she was about 7: After much physical struggling and hysterical screaming, her mother had managed to restrain her for long enough that the needle could be successfully inserted. She looked down at her arm and saw herself [[NightmareFuel bleeding from the puncture point, with the needle still in]]. ** On the same tangent, the same troper found out in her adult age that it's easier to find a vein on her right arm as opposed to her left arm. How did she find out? Blood test. Troper looks away, feels the puncture, looks back, sees nurse [[HighOctaneNightmareFuel wiggling the needle back and forth under her skin]], vainly trying to [[BodyHorror puncture a vein that keeps slipping away from the needle's point]]. * [[{{Tropers/Nonomino}} This troper]]. Oh boy. Whenever she sees a syringe on a picture or on TV, she's ready to throw up (she had to block the trope's picture with Adblock). The last time she saw a syringe for real, she nearly fainted, even though the shot wasn't for her. Just because doctors mistaked her liver hemangioma for a cancer when she was 3 months old and made her two or three shots a day for nearly two weeks, and her parents were not allowed to see her. Thanks for the psychological trauma, guys. * I have always been afraid of them, but [[{{ItGotWorse}} it got worse]] after one painful shot becuase of my Rheumatic Fever. * Needles scare the shit out of me! I've been afraid of them since I was little. ''And'' I have to get my blood taken because I have high cholesterol. :( * I am so afraid of needles I hid in the bathroom sobbing when they were giving HepB shots at school. I had to get the injection the next day at a regular clinic, though. I think the fear stems from the fact that they euthanize dogs and people via lethal injection and I'm always paranoid that the needle has poison inside instead of medicine. *SHUDDER* * Inverted in that [[{{@/A1}} This Troper]] has to give itself about 4

injections a day because of its diabetes. ** Ouch. This troper's dad knows how that feels. :( * Averted with Edgy. He was giggling while getting a tattoo because it tickled. * This troper used to be terrified of doctors' appointments due to her fear of needles. ** Somewhat subverted, as she and her mother planned for me to play my Nintendo DS while they administered shots to distract me. And God, does it help. x_x * This trope is why this troper will never get her ears pierced. *trembles in fetal position* * This troper is hypersensitive, so she feels everything more sharply. Everything. Just about nobody will take her or her mother's word for it - she's lost count of the number of times she's gotten "Oh, you'll be fine! Really!" By this point, she automatically tenses up around needles. ---Go back to AfraidOfNeedles. It won't hurt a bit. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AfroAsskicker * This Black metalhead troper doesn't have a particularly big or neat afro, but be sure that even if there's another black guy at a metal show, I'll be there sporting my naps. * This Black troper had a large old school fro and finally decided to cut it but I've been advancing myself in Jeet Kune Do for the past 6 years.

AfterSchoolCleaningDuty * [[Tropers/{{bluepenguin}} My]] private high school used this as a form of detention, which always surprised and confused my friends in the local public school system and prompted a lot of "what, like in Harry Potter?" comments. Oddly enough, during my time teaching English in Japan, I've never seen this happen; all the schools I know of have their cleaning time in the middle of the day, after lunch. * It was never a duty as such, but in high school, if there was ever a disruptive class (that I happened to be a part of), and it was the last lesson of the day, I'd hang about and help the teacher fix the tables and chairs. ---Before you can go back to AfterSchoolCleaningDuty, you need to clean up the classroom. ----

AgainstMyReligion * One of [[SwiftStrike this troper's]] (who isa protestant) friends were talking about sex, or some such, and when I chimed in they said

something along the lines of "But you can't no anything about that, you're a Christian!" I calmly looked at her and tole her "Yes. Because I am a completely perfect human being, and have never done anything sinful." So, kind of an inversion then? ** More like DidNotDoTheResearch as the Bible makes it explicit that everyone has committed a sin at some point. * This troper pretends to be whatever religion he needs to be to get out of whatever he doesn't want to do. And it usually works. * [[Tropers/JusticeReaper This troper]] is a Seventh-day Adventist, which (for those who may not know) means he believes that Saturday, the seventh day of the week, is the Sabbath of the Bible and is still in force with the other Commandments. As such, I do not go to work on Saturdays - a point I made clear to my present employer when I was interviewed by them (I work at the Western Bureau of one of the local newspapers here in Jamaica). Well, about two Fridays ago, while I was in the office, my supervisor came up to me and asked me if I would be able to come to work the next day, as she had to attend to some family matters (she writes up the weekend duty roster for the month, and she and I usually split the weekend). I told her no, I would not be able to. She got offended (she's prejudiced against [=SDAs=]), and I ended up in the office manager's office the following Monday to discuss my "role as a reporter." Nonetheless, I stood by my principles, for I don't believe I'd be able to work on Saturday and still be honest with myself afterward. ** This troper applauds your conviction. Did you get reprimanded? *** The office manager called the whole religion thing "foolishness" and basically gave me a veiled ultimatum, to think about whether the company is where I want to be. And she gave me until the end of this year to think about it. So, the way I interpret it, either stay with the job, do as I'm told, and sacrifice my beliefs and convictions in the process; or find myself out of a job by year's end. Hence, I'm networking to cover my own skin. ** Fear of hell runs strongly in you, indeed. *** I wouldn't really say it's "fear of hell" so much as "not wanting to deliberately and knowingly do something that would make my Lord and Saviour disappointed in me." Plus, I've spent enough time breaking the Sabbath (during my college years, when I wasn't going to church due to personal reasons), and I have no plans to do so again knowingly. *** *blinks several times, then hugs you* Hooray, more of us exist! Fortunate Kitsune here, SDA as well. Haven't really had any trouble with it yet as I do not have a job. This is mostly due to mental issues, though. ^^; The one I do have is that anything around here that is interesting invariably happens on Sabbath!....Unless it's Halloween on a Sunday! XD ** This LDS troper also applauds your conviction! I've done something similar--I've made it clear to various employers that I cannot work on Sundays, and they usually respect that, but I have had to restate my beliefs a couple of times when they "forgot." ** This agnostic troper is usually very cynical and snarky toward religions, especially of the Abrahamic tree, but I still believe in the absolute right of sincere believers to invoke this trope. Especially if I have prior warning. Or if some tasty forbidden food is

involved and I get to have more because of it - Rottenvenetic ** This Catholic *ducks* troper thinks your ''employers'' should be fired. Disrespect for other cultures is one of the only things (in addition to mass murder, rape, and drumming fingers) that I can't tolerate. * [[Tropers/{{Dysfunctional}} This troper]] got out of having to use paper, got out of doing any work on earth day and numerous other things by invoking this trope....which most parts were true (mostly because you can come up with your own rules in my religion), but the teachers were beginning to get fed up with it.... except the ecology teacher who liked what I was doing. * This troper is the only agnostic/Pastafarian in a group of all Christian friends, and a common joke is if anyone asks this troper to do something, she responds, "It's against my religion!" Bonus points if a teacher believes it. Extra credit bonus points if it's in math. * My friend got out of gym class, because our uniform included shorts. Her grandmother's religion states that women must wear skirts. She didn't believe in it, but she used that to get out of it. * This troper's game design teacher once told her about a student whose religion switched from Christianity, to Judaism, to Islam, to Hinduism...depending on what holidays were coming up that he could use to get out of class. * This troper's doctor recommended he eat pork for its medical benefits, but "I don't do that, because it's against my faith." The doctor is Jewish. Hmm... so I can eat pork, but if Judaism is true, then my doctor unwittingly condemned me to Hell (and himself as well for telling me to do something that goes against his own faith). ** Except Judaism's version of Hell isn't very much like the Christian concept of Hell at all, when it exists. ** And also that non-Jews are perfectly allowed to eat pork. As long as you keep the seven laws that apply to non-Jews (one of which stipulates that the pig has to be dead while you eat it), you're doing fine. The doctor's being entirely consistent. * As a Member of the LDS church, this troper doesn't watch R-Rated movies. thus, this troper gets notes excusing her from class when her teacher shows a rated R movie- about once a month. She got out of several essays because of it, although the students tormented her. * Whenever this troper applies for jobs, she always puts herself down as unavailable on Sundays. Everyone she's worked for before was okay with it. It hasn't caused any problems...yet. * This troper's cousin was part of a homeschool tutorial group in Tennessee. While she was not home schooled for any particular religious reasons, a lot of the students at the tutorial were and some unintentionally hilarious situations would occasionally arise. One such story involved a guy asking a girl out. Being a good Christian gentleman, he called her parents beforehand to ask permission and got their approval. So he went ahead and asked her to a dance that was coming up. Her response? She had prayed about it and felt that God didn't want her to go to the dance with him. We call it whipping out the God card. * This troper (Beta Maxis) tends to get into awkward positions due to feeling that eating meat is GENUINELY against his religion, as he

believes no kind God would give intended food the ability to suffer, leading to a slightly awkward moment when he assumed his grandparents (on his father's side) knew this when he was invited to dinner. ** [[Tropers/{{Personofpeeple}} This troper]] tends to get into awkward positions due to feeling that eating meat is sorta "fake against" my religion. One of those wacky things going on between me and God. * This Troper is Moravian, and therefore will occasionally use this excuse as a polite way of getting out of social obligations. It's quite effective, since no one other than we Moravians seem to really know what they actually ''are''. The short version: very old Protestant sect. * My Religious/Philosophical beliefs are...''curious''. But I got out of 99% of PE in High school because the PE Teacher was a DungeonsAndDragons player when he was younger, so I spent every session lying on the grass in normal school uniform just ''watching'' the PE lesson as the teacher told me old "war stories" about his Elf mage/thief. * In high school, I made up my own religion so that I would be able to use this trope. It never worked, but that certainly didn't stop me from trying. * I can confirm the note on Jewish vegetarians. One household I stayed at allowed no meat in the house, to simplify keeping kosher. I had to satisfy my need for the flesh of lesser beasts at local restaurants. * This troper once hung a lampshade on this when he was handing out doughnuts he'd bought to his friends. One of my friends is a somewhat lenient Muslim, almost non-practising in a sense, but he still abides by Halal. He crapped himself after I shared a knowing look with one of my other friends, glanced at the ingredients list on the bag for the doughnuts and [[BlatantLies said]] "Shit, these have gelatin in them!" He'd taken one bite and was in the process of chewing it, and he literally spat it everywhere. I did give him an extra doughnut for his troubles, though. * My son's school got in a massive amount of trouble last year. One of his classmates is very strictly Jewish and is not supposed to dance, and got in trouble when he refused to dance in their music class because it was literally against his religion. His parents of course threw a fit, which resulted in the music teacher getting suspended and all sorts of other mess. Given the rather large population of Orthodox Jews in our immediate area, I was surprised the teacher didn't know better. * This troper's history teacher wants her to write all of her essays assuming that the person reading it knows nothing about the topic. What kind of idiot would read an essay on the Enlightenment without knowing what indulgences are, and then complain because they didn't understand it? Especially since the only one who reads our essays is our teacher, who certainly knows what indulgences are. I plan to keep on doing so, and if he gets mad at me about it, I can tell him that stupidity is against my religion. It's true. * This troper says he's allergic to applesauce and only applesauce (he says other apple products he can eat) just to keep from eating it. * This troper once ranted on how `the customer is always right`

implies that they are omniscient (a trait only posessed by gods) and that, as I am an atheist, serving them goes against my religion, because I can`t serve a being that I don`t believe exists. (The manager didn't buy that.) ** Nor should he/she have. If you don't want to serve customers, don't work in a customer service field. * This troper was absolutely infuriated at a girl on her bus who inverted this trope. The girl claimed that she was required by her religion to curse. The religion she was referring to? Atheism. Cue FacePalm. Made worse by the fact that this Troper herself is an atheist. * This troper's best friend refuses to wear skirts. She says it is against her religion. * This troper used it as a joke excuse. A Meme per se. * When arguing online, this troper will occasionally be told that no religion prohibits X. As a =POPE= of the Wholly Discordian Church, this troper begs to differ. * It's against this troper's religion to discuss his religion. That line has saved him from many hours of being preached at. * I abuse this. I'm a part of Nura Assumpta, which hardly anybody knows what it is. We have a lot of crazy beliefs that are a little off the wall. Some people I know just purposefully walk around banging on wood 21 times, 'because we just have to.' Okay, we really do have a reason for it, we just like to do it way more than needed. I know a guy who pisses off people going up stairs by abruptly stopping on each seventh one, and making sure he steps on and off each one with his right foot. If he's in a hurry, he goes up them three at a time, just because the right side of things are lucky, and so are the numbers 3, 7 and 21. * I attempted this when I forgot a pencil for maths, it didn't end well and I was given an after-school detention for "poor behaviour"... * Currently here to avoid learning about evolution. You know how Christians are with evolution, right? ** [[DidNotDoTheResearch Only the particularly fundamentalist ones, and mostly Protestants.]] ** Even though CharlesDarwin was an Anglican minister and NEVER took God out of the equation, which would be plainly obvious to anyone who's actually READ "The Origin of Species." * This Troper tends to lampshade this. "I'll bet you a dollar that <insert something here> will happen!" "Ah, sorry, no can do, I can't bet for money. It's against my non-religion." [[Tropers/JackOCrow This LDS Troper]] pulled this once. Being the DeadpanSnarker that I am, when asked to say the closing prayer at a Wednesday activity, I politely declined (the first time), but after constant "say the prayer, say the prayer" I got sarcastic and said "sorry, it's against my religion". everyone got really quiet. Three weeks later, I still get dirty looks, so I'm not sure I'm welcome there anymore. Dammit, that's the fifth church this year...... * This troper belonged to the philosophy students' union at her alma mater, and one year it emerged that they had waited too long to book their usual venue for the annual Christmas party. Fortunately, one of

the other members knew of another place we could have it for a reasonable price: the Jewish Community Centre near campus. This wasn't a problem for the Jewish community, apparently (knowing that the students were really going to drink beer, eat pizza and argue about Kant, and it being Christmas was just a handy excuse) - but they did have to be very careful not to bring said pizza into the kitchen there, because it was traif. * This troper is part/Hindu, so I don't eat beef, and my personal worldview is kinda animist and also, uhm, different? So that makes me a vegetarian and an aspiring vegan. Unless I'm hiking in the forest and happen to find an animal that's already dead. Which has not happened. * Admittedly this troper likes to use this excuse when dealing with something she doesn't like, particularly in school. It's doubly funny for her friends, who know that she is in fact an atheist. ---Go back to AgainstMyReligion - unless, of course, ''that's'' against your religion. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AgeInappropriateDress * This troper, according to his friends at least. Though as far as I can tell all it really boils down to is the fact I wear socks that go past my ankles and blank oversized tshirts that would look more appropriate on an absent minded middle aged novelist than a teenager. We actually have a recurring joke that I'm really 47. * When this troper was in middle school, she was one of the few middle schoolers who DIDN'T dress like a slutty high schooler. Keep in mind, this troper went to a combined preschool, elementary, AND middle school with these girls. * I totally didn't want to start this one, but at a local supermarket ([[ H-E-B]] if you must know), there was an old woman (late 60s/early 70s) wearing a plaid short skirt, black leggings that went down about halfway, and a tight t-shirt. Pass the BrainBleach. * At this troper's middle school graduation, most of the other girls wore dresses that were extremely short, strapless, had no back, or had some combination of the three. Keep in mind, these are fourteen year olds. ** It's definitely okay for fourteen year olds to wear strapless/no back dresses. They're not 4. And no one should wear extremely short dresses, looks trashy. * There were people that protested his troper's junior prom because the School had set up reasonable guidelines to ''prevent'' girls from this trope along with grinding. The night arrives and girls ''still'' wore the tiniest dresses they could get away with. One guy wore what looked like a pimp suit. ** I can do you one better: The class clown at my school actually ''did'' wear a pimp suit to our prom. Purple velvet, animal print, gaudy medallions, fake scepter: you name it, he had it. Nobody seemed to mind.

*** Probably because they knew it was a joke, since you did say he's the class clown. Damn, I wish I'd thought of that for my prom. *** RefugeInAudacity to the max! * The other direction from how this trope usually goes: when this troper was a young-teen (12-15ish), she dressed in... rubbishy old white polo shirts and ankle-length shapeless granny skirts. They didn't even fit her. Of course, she's often told she acts like an old woman, so.... * I swear by all that is holy, if I see one more middle-aged woman wearing too-tight ripped jeans, an Ed Hardy tank top (or anything Ed Hardy for that matter), a cowboy hat, and stripper heels, I will show no restraint in kicking her in the teeth. For Christ's sake, most of you are mothers! Stop dressing like [[LowestCommonDenominator VH1 contestants!]] ** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint ...Wait, what says that since they're middle-aged, they must be mothers?]] * When this troper was 8 or 9, she saw fit to walk around in miniskirts, those bra-type-things that aren't actually bras that are marketed towards little girls for some reason, and high heels. Needless to say, my daughter(s) shall not be allowed to dress like that. * This troper went to a school where the dress code [[CovertPervert was not strict whatsoever]] and, of course, all the girls got away with wearing the [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin shortest]], skimpiest versions of the shorts they owned. Unfortunately, this school had little 1st grade classes... *shudder* * I am currently wearing a waistcoat, and usually dress in a combination of jeans and suit jackets. it seems to be working out well. ** Can you come to my school and teach all the guys (assuming you're male) how to dress like you? Please? * This troper used to wear middle-age-lady skirts, mom pants, etc. Probably had more to do with her issues at the time than any fashion sense. * Once, in an elementary school, I saw a FIRST-GRADER wearing a shirt that was WAAY too low cut. Mind you, she didn't have anything to show, but the shirt literally was cut to show of her chest, nipples and all. ** What in the I don't even * My 8-year-younger-than-me cousin has been wearing extremely inappropriate bikinis since she was about 8 (she's 11 at the time of posting this) which are way too loose and have caused very uncomfortable [[WardrobeMalfunction wardrobe malfunctions]] while swimming. Squick. ** Actually, you could argue that wearing bikini's for pre-puberty girls is in fact age-inappropriate dress ( and leads to sexualisation of small children). * This troper can turn this one on its head. When she was in high school (16, 17 years old), she had one dress for formal events. It was dark green and covered with a weird floral print and, quite simply, was age inappropriate in the opposite way; wearing this horrible thing made her look at least forty years old. She hastens to add that this item was not part of her wardrobe through any choice of her own, and

she was frankly embarrassed to be seen in it. * Family Story: When my sister started going to high school in the mid-'80s, my mother decided to put her in a wardrobe that made her look like a 'lady'. Pumps, business suits, a bloody ''suitcase''. Poor thing was mistaken for a (short) teacher at 13-14. * This troper mourns the disappearance of children's clothing; the 7year-olds wear... wait, even better: the no-to-one-year-olds are dressed up in baggy jeans and sneakers (if they are boys). Children should wear clothes they can USE!!! And I am not leaving this page until someone explains the necessity of pre-puberty girls wearing bikini-bras. * one of the more well-known "local characters" my town has is an old woman who shows up to every free concert\fair\other outdoor event involving music and dances around dressed like a 50's teenager, complete with [[ poodle skirt]]. I have no idea if she always dresses like this, or just breaks it out for such occasions: It occurs to me that I could see her around all the time dressed more normally and wouldn't know it, because I just wouldn't recognize her without the skirt. To me it's tasteful enough to be oddly cute rather than creepy, and I've come to think that no free event in the town is complete without a Poodle Skirt Lady sighting. * The only thing worse than being the sun-seared grandmother in cutoffs and triangle bikini top is being that same grandmother accompanied by her eight-year-old granddaughter in a virtually identical outfit. * This troper feels like this no matter what she wears - she has a curvy body and a young face, so anything other than jeans and a tshirt feels mismatched somewhere. And even the jeans and t-shirt have to fit just right to avoid making it look like she's either unaware of the fact that she's sprouted hips and breasts, or a teenager trying to convince the bouncer to let her in. * this troper little sister have one of those, it kinda creepy * This troper has heard an odd version from her coworker. Said coworker dressed her three-year-old in an age-appropriate yet trendy outfit (skinny jeans, a t-shirt, etc) and got complaints that "she's dressed like a seven-year-old!" Sometimes, one's mind just boggles. * This troper has a sister who is 8 years older than him, 2 inches shorter, and an occasional crossdresser. So she takes his hand-medowns. It's a double whammy of age-inappropriate and genderinappropriate, but no one particularly seems to mind. * One of the secretaries at this troper's school came to work one day in a short sleeved sweetheart top, a skirt that reached mid-thigh, tights, and five inch heels. That may not sound to bad, but she's about 65 years old and looks it. The impact was doubled since she usually arrives to school in full on business suits. * This troper was an early bloomer in terms of puberty and a late one in terms of fashion/beauty consideration. Up until 6th grade, there was a mix of vomit-inducing girly kindergarten tee-shirts, cotton shorts, and flowery polos and of old-lady jeans and formless sweaters. ---Mom! What are you ''wearing''? Your AgeInappropriateDress is just

embarrassing! ----

AgonyOfTheFeet ...Oh yeah. Sorry. Hobble on in. * This troper has a really bad ingrown toenail where the nail in the right side of the big toe on his right foot is actually growing into the skin. Very {{Squick}} indeed. It's real tender and it hurts really bad. ** Same troper again here with a more humorous story than before. My mom accidentally left some tacks on the floor and I was walking barefoot around the house and stepped on them. Didn't feel a thing until I went up to watch TV and had my feet up on the table and mom came up, took one look at my feet, and said "You know you have tacks embedded in your feet, right?" I picked them up, looked at them, and I had to have about 30-40 of them in there. My response? "So I do" * This [[@/{{Elkian}} troper]] has a ton of milk cartons for storage in her room. It was pretty messy, I had to pick my way around it, got a toe stuck in a hole, and ripped the skin off the bottom. OW. * This troper, just now. Stubbed my same toe twice in a row. It actually sort of snagged on something and...>><<< ** Um...[[{{Squick}} ew?]] ** Once, when I was a little 8 year old troper, I decided to walk to my friend's house barefoot. I stubbed my toe upwards of 4 times. I don't know how I even kept doing it. * Try walking 20 miles in smart shoes to get to an event, the pain caused is gradual but everlasting. Was worth it though. * On the second to last day of my trip to Rome, my family was on our feet for more than seven hours. We walked to the Vatican (it took about two and a half hours), we stood in a line that took twenty minutes to go into the building, we walked through the several museums there, and we walked back to the hotel (took two hours because we only got lost once on the way back). On the last day, we were on our feet for six hours. We did a LOT of walking in those three and a half days. We walked every where. At the end of the first day, my feet hurt so much I had no idea why I kept walking. London lasted about a week, and we walked a lot there too, but it was nothing like Rome because the tube (subway) system worked so much better than the one in Rome. * This troper, who has never worn heels before in her life, had to wear 4 inch platforms for a costume. At a con. Which meant a LOT of walking. Ouch. ** This other troper had a similar situation, it's ''extremely'' rare for me to wear boots (sneakers ftw!), but I needed to wear boots for cosplaying Seras Victoria. Lots of walking = lots of blisters. Owwww. * [[{{Wheezy}} This troper]] has fractured his little toe three times. Always due to waking around his house too fast in the dark. * Two words: PLANTAR. WARTS. ** DEAR GOD. I had /ten/ of those around my big toe. At once... DEAR GOOOOOOOD. ** This troper had around fifteen on her big toe, and got them all

burned off at once with hydrochloric acid. She literally couldn't walk and was on crutches for around three weeks, since all the skin on her foot was gone down to the subdermal membrane. * This troper worked at a summer camp - two months of pretty much nonstop walking over hills and roots and everything else before the doctor informed her that her feet are flatter than pancakes. * This Troper was a Lance-Jack in the army; the first pack march of the year would always leave some idiot unable to walk because they were too 'hard' to stop and put on some plasters. * This Tropers father once trod on a jellyfish when he was a kid. He commonly cites it as the most painful experience of his life. * This Troper had a pretty bad experience with broken toes. Used to do mascot work for a Women's Expo, and strapped on a 50 lb motor for a inflatable penguin costume, then a 25 lb battery for said motor... Bad design choice, it was on with velcro. Got three or four steps off the elevator, velcro lets go, battery drops, shatters last three toes on left foot. They're still a little crooked. * Having missed the bus for my university's final summer ball, I ran all the way to the smart shoes. ''Pain.'' * Bridesmaid shoes. $15 metallic kitten-heeled thong sandals from Target. The pain started within 5 minutes of putting them on. Danced barefoot at the reception. * This troper, at the age of 7, was running top speed through the house when she slammed her (bare) foot against a desk. ''OUCH''. * This arachnophobic Troper may have the best example of the kicking something variety ever. He was sitting under his very tall bed, at the computer, reading a thread about spiders. With pictures. He felt a tingling on his leg. He slams it up on a reflex. Straight into the metal frame of the bed. Ow. Later, when telling someone about this, he mimiced the movement... While resting his foot under a wooden table. Later, while telling someone else about it, he mimiced the movement AGAIN. While using a bag under a table as a foot rest. He doesn't tell people about it anymore. * [[EtherealFrog This Troper]] got kicked in the shin by the resident AxCrazy female some three years ago. I was limping intermittently for the rest of the year. Nowadays I just get occasional spikes of agony in between the foot phalanges, although that's likely unrelated. While I'm here, Osgood-Schlatter diesaese is starting to creep up on me... * Broke a toe because I was running around the house for some reason or another and slammed it into a corner of the wall. Not only did it fucking ''hurt'' for a few days, it's a pretty obnoxious injury because you can't just stop walking for six weeks. You have to walk on that broken foot and just deal with it. * This troper once walked ''two whole miles across town'' in high heels... and spent the next two days in slippers or (if she HAD to walk) sneakers, and has made her friends swear an oath to slap her if she ever does something like that again. Ow ow ow ow... * [[ARandomSerf This troper]] got an ingrown toenail a few years back, but he thought it would grow itself out if left alone. It didn't. I eventually ended up getting the nail permanently narrowed. * This troper went on a hike with her family and assumed it would be a short three mile hike. It turned out it was seven and a half miles,

and as she was wearing old converse shoes instead of hiking boots, she got horrible blisters and bruises all over her feet. ** Another time while she was in Mexico, she sunburned her feet so badly that she couldn't wear shoes for nearly the entire trip (The sunburn occurred on the second day of the vacation). * This one when she was a young'n was happily making her way through the living room, a snack cake in hand. My stupid sister left her hefty wooden clogs out on the floor and * pow!* Ok, I thought, just a stubbed toe. I go upstairs and while I'm watching tv I feel something '''wet''' on my toe. I looked up and saw that the impact from the clogs had ''split my big toenail almost clean in half and was bleeding profusely''. -->'''This troper''': ''AAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!'' * A horse once stepped on this troper's toe. It was a very heavy horse. Ouch. Another time, when this troper was walking barefoot at the beach, she trod on some broken glass. * This troper has occasionally run barefoot over asphalt for roughly four blocks. Blood blisters are interesting things. * This troper wears workboots. Many things have simply bounced off the leather instead of causing an injury, and many things tripped over painlessly due to the thick sole. However, the insole is worn away at the heel of one, and causes bruising after a few miles. ** Related is an agony of the shin. This troper missed a step while climbing the stairs at speed, narrowly missed putting his foot down into the gap between the steps, but smashed his shin into the next step. Two weeks later, and the bruise and lump are still there. *** This third troper also wear steel-toed workboots. They make industrial work much easier... save for the single time when he got hit foot caught under the palletjack while walking backwords. The steel toe worked as advertised, but he did have a nice semi-circle of hairline fractures on all five metatarsi just above where the steel ended... * Last year this troper had a hay rake dropped on his toe. One of the teeth went right through his shoe but thankfully only grazed the toe itself. I shudder to think about what would have happened if it'd been a bit farther to the right. Also, I've dropped a table on a bare foot once. I had a HUGE bruise where it hit. * There's a reason [[Tropers/{{G-Mon}} This Troper]] now wears shoes all the time, even in his own home. * This troper wears nothing but steel-toed boots for this reason. ** Don't wear them around horses or large livestock. Broken toes heal; the effects of having a third of your foot nearly cut off and the metal toe-cover holding the wound open last a lifetime, which may not be all that long if the edge hit something important. * This occasional troper was called from his bed to help his partner push-start their car to take her father to hospital. On a road with the surface being centimetre-sized jagged chunks of rock. When the adrenalin of Helping The Fair Lady wore off, he spent the rest of the day limping. The stairs up to work didn't appeal. And let's not talk about the several times he has gone hiking or riding in ill-suited shoes and spent the next three to five days in crippling knee agony. * This Troper banged her foot into her subwoofer so hard it broke an

inch of skin. Normally she's pretty good at not making noise when pained, but she resisted that urge for only three seconds before howling and swearing and limping off for a band-aid. * This troper once stubbed her baby toe so hard at a friend's house that you could see the tiny piece of toe hanging off of it. Also, the next day she went barefoot through the same friend's garage to get to the backyard and wasn't careful enough while passing the gardening tools leaning against the wall, resulting in, I believe was was a shovel, falling on her big toe. It cut so deep that the principle of "deeper cut, less pain" came into play as I gave my friend an annoyed look for insisting I needed to sit down. I told her continually I was fine before finally she reached behind my head and shoved it down so I could see the blood coming out of my toe, which was dark, thicklooking and scary. It looked worse than it was, but still. * [[DarkInsanity13 This troper]] usually has a rather high pain threshold for sudden accidental ailments (cuts, bruises, and the like), but stubbing one of her toes on something (usually her bed) never fails to make her keel over begging to drop an F Bomb. But in a subversion, she leapt back after killing a rather large spider on the wall that fell, and her baby toe hit a nearby tool box. Even after the adrenaline from the uncertainty of not knowing if the spider was dead (which it was) wore off, she didn't notice that she was bleeding until several minutes later when the dull pain from hitting her foot hadn't worn off. ** On another note, her mother has chronic feet problems due to really high arches. Orthodics can only prolong the inevitable/lessen the pain for so long before she needs to sit for a good long while. Figures that the family enjoys taking walks when on trips. * This troper has a chronic ingrown toenail problem, and has had to have the acid treatment done to them to prevent the ingrowns from happening. They've botched the attempt 5 times now... * [[SovietKitty This troper]] has pretty bad luck with this. She's dislocated two toes and broken one, gotten toothpicks, pine needles, and cactus spines stuck in various places, and had a few pieces of skin nearly ripped off. Ironically, she can walk an entire boardwalk in five-inch heels and feel nothing. * This troper is always stubbing his toe on something around his house. It's become so common and this troper's parents blame it on rushing. * This troper has twisted his ankle so many times it doesn't move properly. * [[KingSonnDeeDoo This Troper]] has stubbed her toes many times, and recently, her feet seem to have become target practice for cans to fall on. * This troper has a P. E. teacher who is very strict about bringing the correct kit. The penalty for not bringing the right kit without a good reason? The "smelly kit". Old clothes that people have left behind. Now, what does this have to do with feet, you ask? Two words: Shoe. Sizes. * Marching band. ** Especially when your feet are already hurting from rehearsal and then you drop the foot of a chair hard on your toes. Troper's friend:

"Wow, great job... wait, are you okay?" * This troper broke her foot. While playing DDR. On beginner. * Last year, the day before Winter Break, I was running in my highheeled boots to get to my First Period Algebra class. Being a klutz and half-awake, I somehow managed to fall out of my boots, twisting my right ankle in a 180 degree angle. Everyone around me looked horrified, and kept trying to insist I get medical treatment, but I sat up and laughed, trying to give the impression that it wasn't as bad as it looked and I could walk it off, though I apparently gave the impression that I was mentally unstable instead. Anyays when I got to my second hour Japanese class, after climbing up three flights of stairs on my aching ankle, I proceeded to go through the exact same thing, twisting it the other way. By the end of the day, I was dragging that foot and for all of Winter Break, I needed something to support my weight. Gooood times.... * One day after summer camp I got in the car and suddenly my brother goes pale and tells me to look at my feet. I do, and find that three toenails on my foot are split and the entire lower half of my foot is red with blood. I didn't feel a thing. To this day I have NO idea how I smashed up three toes 'till they gushed without feeling it. * Here's a fun story, kids. At age 18, I got my first job. It required work boots, which they provided (and charged me for). Unfortunately, they didn't have my size (16 in work boots apparently). So they put me in a pair of size 11 insulated boots with the insulation ripped out. Three days later I could no longer stand. My feet and back ached for six months. When I lay down to go to bed it'd take me literally a half hour to roll over. I was in agony. Take care of your feet, boys and girls, 'cause if they're not happy, you're not happy. Now I still have issues finding shoes that fit, the size 14 shoes I'm wearing now are decent, but tight. * My job requires me to stand on my feet for hours straight wearing a goofy costume and waving at oncoming traffic. And I'm not allowed to sit down. For any reason. Except for my 15-minute break, then it's right back to hours of standing. My ankles are threatening to telescope. On the bright side, it's great training for all the walking I'll be doing at A-Kon! * Buy good shoes, tropers, especially you last two. I recommend making friends with a Marine, then asking said Marine to take you on a shoe buying trip. Why? Because when you're in a large group of people, all of which spend a lot of time walking and running, SOMEBODY will know which shoe stores are "cheap but will leave you paralyzed or fall apart in a month", "expensive but all show no go", and "worth every damn penny", and the rest will catch on damn quick. Likewise, if you are in a job that requires constant standing, remember--sneakers are meant for wearing for a few hours of high speed sports. Heels for women and oxfords for men are meant for fashion, not endurance or speed. Boots are meant for walking all day long. Combat/construction boots are your friend. ** Heartily seconded by this troper, who's been selling shoes for roughly four years. If you're looking to seriously exercise but you're strapped for cash, DO NOT buy the $20 pair. Your feet will be in a world of hurt.

* [[JET73L This troper]] was once getting something (a piece of paper) from the top of a desk set, and someone had left something very heavy (I think one of those old, solid-steel-and-painted-black staplers) on top of the stack. The result? An either broken (most likely) or oddly dislocated left index toe bone, the nail being held on solely by scabbing and one thin strip of hangnail for a long time, and after many months when the toenail-area skin began to solidify, a divot partway down where it actually folds into the toe for some reason. The divot's still there. * Somewhat subverted with this troper and her boyfriend, inasmuch as we consider it a heartwarming memory. We walked three miles back to his apartment from his work on a night in early March with one coat and one pair of sensible shoes between us. Boyfriend got to be warm, troper didn't wreck her best pair of heels. * Having practiced barefoot martial arts for half my life, I thought my feet had grown soles. I could run barefoot on gravel and not feel a thing. I kid you not. Then I started practicing Capoeira. (Which requires to pivot on bare feet a whole lot). In the first month, I was left almost unable to walk after each session. Blisters upon blisters upon blisters. It gets easier as you go on, though. * This troper had rested her foot sort of hooked under one edge of her desk, and was speaking animatedly to her mum about something. She made a gesture that involved smacking her thigh, and a kneejerk (thighjerk?) reaction resulted in her foot slamming into the bottom of the desk. Then, when she was explaining to her mum why she'd sworn at the top of her lungs, she made the same gesture, with her foot in the same place. Twice. In a row. Possibly more. In addition, she has approximately twice-weekly toe-stubbings. * This troper's ex-wife tended to complain a lot at the least provocation. I was getting ready for work one morning, while she was getting breakfast ready. I heard a loud crash from the kitchen, followed by complete silence. Normally, I'd expect a stream of cusswords from her, so I immediately got worried and called out, "Are you OK?" Several seconds pause, followed by a strained " ....No." She'd dropped a full can of coffee on her foot and broken two toes. * Back in the 1980's, Indianapolis was the host of the Pan American Games (a late substitute after the original host city pulled out). Several thousand volunteers worked their butts off to get the city ready on short notice. During the opening ceremonies at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway, my dad (one of the volunteers) was invited to march in with the Colombian national team. (Yes, he was born in Colombia.) Watching on TV, I was surprised to see this one 60year-old white head in the middle of all these young athletes. I was also surprised at how unhappy he looked. The reason? The shoes they gave him as part of the team uniform were two sizes too small. * This troper was running around in a friend's backyard when he was a kid, turns out one of those boards on the ground had a rusty nail sticking out of it. Guess how he found out? * In 2008 I got an ingrown nail on my big toe and had to get it professionally cut (I ignored it for so long the doctor had to numb the foot and cut much of it away). About a year later it happened again on the same nail (it had started to grow back and ended up

growing weird), so I had it had to be cut again. Now I have one on the other big toe, but it doesn't really seem bad enough to worry about. * This troper has a plethora of cringe-worthy tales. This troper had to walk three miles in deep snow while the back of her boots cut into her ankles. It took a year for her ankles to heal. This troper also accidently dropped a five-pound pickle jar on her right big toe. The toe nail fell off. To this day, the toe is still flatter than the other one. Another time, this troper jumped in the air, and her right shoe slipped forward, then flew back onto the foot upon landing. Sounds like nothing. It was the worst pain I have ever felt. I literally went into shock. I was blind and nauseaus, and I was sweating so bad my clothes were soaked through, for several minutes, and was too scared to inform an adult, mainly 'cause I didn't know where I was going, and thought if I moved slightly, I'd fall over. Another horror story. This troper and her little sister were cleaning hamster and mice cages. My sister had the water bottle holder on the floor, and I didn't see it. Of course, since the universe hates my right foot, I stepped on it. I had 1/2 inch of metal embedded in my foot. I pulled it out and layed on the floor for about 15 minutes while getting over the incident. I was limping for a week. Once my wound had healed up enough, I was standing on a chair, trying to catch one of my Mom's birds. The bird landed on one of the cats. Believe it or not, the birds are abusive to the cats. I tried just bending down to shoo the bird off. I fell off the chair and landed on my right pinky toe (which was a few inches from my previous injury). I broke my toe, and the dark bruising covered half my foot. My toe is still broke. I'm dyslexic and can't remember my right's from my left's most of the time. Now when I need to figure out which side right is on, I just think of my right foot which has underone so much toe-ture. ** This troper forgot to mention the time her and her best friend were dumb enough to jaywalk, or jaybike, across a four-lane road. This troper ended up getting her flip-flop and left foot caught in the spokes of the front wheel. This troper didn't have time to untangle foot, as there was a big truck headed straight for her. I'm so thankful he stopped. I stopped and my bike fell on top of me. I inspected my foot, and saw that part of my foot was stripped to the muscle. I will, unfortunately, remember the day I did that as my Nana died ten days afterwards. ** And another entry. This troper stubbed her still broken toe on a table leg yesterday. She could have put a sailor to shame. Today, she struck the same toe against a car seat. She was on the verge of tears, and, most unfortunately, dropped the f-bomb several times without knowing a 4 year old was watching. * I once stepped on a shattered mug that opened a triangular hole an inch and a half deep in my right foot that took three months to heal. * This troper has many stories about this. She was/is a dancer and a midfielder in soccer. My first year playing on my school team for soccer I ended up losing all my toenails on both feet. I have very narrow feet and was wearing a size too small in cleats because of the right size's width made them keep falling off my feet. I ended up

spraining my toes and losing all my toenails. Just kept playing though. I also sprained my ankle partially because of this, I would've just kept playing except the doctor forced me not to. Still I came back after only a week(I was supposed to take ''at least'' 2 weeks off) and ran 6 whole field suicides my first day back, to this day I can no longer run without an ankle brace because of scar tissue in the ankle. ** And for dance... I do modern dance. All barefoot dancing basically, I was able to do a quadruple pirouette barefoot at one time. Well, I have many stories about this but this is one of the best. I was rehearsing and at the end of the song I look down at the dance floor. The dance floor and my foot had blood all over them. Turns out I had somehow managed to tear the toenail on my big toe half way down without noticing until I saw it. I had to run back to the studio in flip flops and get some bandaids and some wipes to clean the floor with. I also managed to twist my ankle '''hard''' during a dance exam and still had my second dance to perform. There are other stories of course but these are the most... interesting. * This troper once got a staph infection on the pad of her right big toe. After a few weeks of agony, she sanitized a needle and lanced it herself. Cue immediate relief and a lot of disgusting stuff. Then about a month later, she got another infection, this time on the side of her left toe. * I was ten. I was being a ten-year-old, climbing my friend's fence from the alleyway and back. Said fence was only, hm, ten-year-old waist height so I climbed over it. Climbing back over it my thongs slipped off and I jumped onto some boards. Unbeknowst to me, my friend's father was building additional fence and had already put nails into the boards. Let me say, [[{{Understatement}} OW.]] I didn't realise I'd had a ''three-inch nail'' imbedded into my foot (figured it was just jarring) and skipped along. I left a ''freaking trail of blood across the grass and the driveway.'' I didn't notice the blood trailing from my foot until I returned to get my thongs, put them on, turned and realised there was blood everywhere. Cue screaming and a HeroicBSOD. Kind of. Well, I can't remember anything from then on, until I had a bandage around my foot and was going home from the hospital. It hurt. A LOT. * This troper wore fancy new shoes for the first time while walking all over Washington D.C. with a school group. She got blisters so bad that one of the teachers took her back to the hotel- but they had to walk. She ''took her shoes off'' and went the whole way back barefoot, because she's got some wicked calluses on the bottoms of her feet so it was significantly less uncomfortable. * A friend of this troper managed to break his toe (can't remember which one, but it was the same) almost two times. By hitting a chair. * [[LoneCentrist This Troper]] was on a backpacking trip recently, and after a very long day, we stopped taking breaks just so we could get to the camp site before dark. When we finally got to the campsite and sat down, this troper finally felt the pain in his foot, and then took his foot off to check... it made the blister scene in "Run, Fatboy, Run" seem like nothing. * This troper's most recent move featured running up and down stairs

for almost 48hrs straight. Sadly, the boots he had for the job were already wearing out beforehand... Let's just say that the end result would have made his doctor hit the ceiling. He's never had so many blisters at once before, and is seriously surprised there wasn't blood involved. * I had quite the temper in my younger days, and sometimes things would be punched, slammed or kicked in a fit of rage. During one such tantrum, I saw a conveniently placed bag in my path and promptly kicked it with all the power I could muster. No need to worry, the two bowling balls in the bag were quite all right; the same could not be said of my right big toe. It wasn't broken, but that millimetre to spare did little to ease the pain for ten-year-old me. * I went to a band competition in California a few years ago, and bought a pair of black pleather flats because I thought that wearing my usual three-inch heels for an extended period of time would be too uncomfortable (hindsight's a bitch--I realized that I can wear those heels all day if I need to). Little did I know that I would get huge blisters on both feet a mere two hours into the all-day competition and would be nearly crippled by the time we went back to the hotel. To make things worse, I was dealing with a toenail fungus at the time, so walking barefoot and showing everyone my nasty toenails was NOT an option. * This troper normally has a pretty good tolerance for pain (certainly better than my drama queen of a sister), but just the ''slightest'' toe-stubbing is enough to put me in a frenzy of loud {{Angrish}}. It was especially bad before I got my ingrown toenail problems fixed. * I've had my share of blisters, cuts, stubbed toes, etc. The worst foot pain I've personally experienced was stepping onto the porch barefoot years ago in the evening and feeling a pain in the side of my foot like a hot needle that afterwards swelled impressively; I'd been bitten by a wolf spider. I still have a red dot 1/2 cm in diameter to show off. * I have insanely long monkey toes. These are the toes that catch furniture, stub on everything, and kick walls. I deal with this OFTEN. ** This (same) Troper also spent half an hour in a muddy ditch surrounded with thorny plants, rocks, and sticks that just JUTT out of freakin' nowhere. BAREFOOT. I came back with my toes cememented together with mud, a couple of cuts on my feet, and a chunk of dirt under one of her toenails that is STILL THERE. * It's the last class of the day, and most people are dozing. My feet are slightly in front of the legs of my desk. The girl in front of me decides to shift her seat (the cheap kind, where the desk is connected to the chair). A leg of her chair ends up on my right toes. Cue pain, screaming, apologies, and one very awake class. * This troper stands with her right foot held in such a way that more weight is put on one side of the foot than the other. It's an unconscious habit, and this troper is just waiting for it to catch up to her. * This troper, during a Christmas party at her house, was barefoot up in her room with some cousins. At that time, her room had no carpet, just bare boards, and she didn't notice the tack on the ground. She continued not noticing it until her cousin pointed it out to her, at

which point she looked, saw the head of the tack embedded right in the middle of her big toe, and started crying. Her parents had to reassure her that it was just bleeding a lot, it wasn't that bad. She didn't go barefoot upstairs for a long time after that. * This troper recently climbed Croagh Patrick—a 2500 ft. mountain in Mayo, Ireland, associated with Saint Patrick—in his bare feet, as per the optional pilgrimage. Beginning the ascent, he wasn't exactly sure why he wanted to do it in the first place; by the time he got back down (four hours, and anybody who's been there will know that the extremely steep path is nothing but tiny, edged and pointed stones), he was no longer sure why he couldn't just die and be out of his misery. ** Another example, when the above troper was three or so he was standing in front of the door in his grandmother's house, trying to reach the doorknob to leave the room. His uncle then opened the door from the other side, and its bottom was just high enough off the floor to catch the troper's toes. Two of them are still slightly misshapen from the incident. * [[AdamS This Troper]] is an amusing subversion. He has "dancer feet" from years of ballet and modern dance, and they don't injure easily. He has done some pretty nasty things to them, from stripping some of the skin off of the "knuckles" during a slide across stage to performing a dance involving a lot of spins barefoot on tile. Also, they are the only part of his body more resistant to high temperatures than an Arabic friend of his. She can take being out in the sun all day, but only if she has sandals. He, on the other hand, burns at the drop of a hat, but can walk barefoot across asphalt in Kansas in the middle of a summer day. * This Troper once pierced his foot on a garden rake. Not just poked or cut, but pierced all the way through, from about an inch before the middle and third toes. The scar is gnarly, but I tell (most) people I got shot with a 9mm pistol.... * Bone spurs on the heel—now with longer-lasting ''pain!'' * This Troper is a constant victim of this due to clumsiness. He frequently drops anything and everything on his toes. That includes baseball bats, barbels, refrigerators... * Me and my sister have both managed to fall over while running up the stairs and knock off half of our big toe nails. OUCH!!!!! * Since he was a kid, this troper has been wearing sneakers like most normal kids. The problem is that he's too clumsy for anything and he hit his foot everywhere, and dropped lots of stuff on them too. When he turned 14, he fell in love with a pair of work boots that he saw on a store and bought them. He hasn't worn sneakers again because he just loves them that much. He hasn't bruised his feet anymore. Not because they protect his feet, it's because he hasn't dropped anything or hurt his feet anymore! He considers them his lucky charm. * [[Tropers/MegTheMaggot I've]] dropped a tree on my foot before. My coworkers and I were out cutting a tree down because we needed logs to build a firepit, and they managed to drop it on me. Luckily, my foot didn't get crushed, but it did scrape up my shins. * This troper has frequent ingrown toenails. One toe has had to have the nail cut three times. The third time, the anesthetic was not

taking effect. They kept putting more and more in, and were trying to get it to spread throughout the toe. Finally, the doctor poked the toe with a needle and I did not feel it, so he started cutting... turns out that it got numb everywhere ''except'' that precise spot on the toe, requiring a different type of anesthetic. My toe was numb for more than 24 hours; when I woke up the next day, I started to worry that I'd never get the feeling back in my toe. * One word: Legos. The damned bricks get everywhere, and when you step on 'em, they huuuuuuuuurt. More than once I've gotten a bleedin' cut on my foot 'cause of those things. ** This troper completely identifies with you. She left some of 'em on her rug last night, and had to go to the bathroom. They were in the way, and... Yeah. * This troper got a bad plantar's wart on the bottom of her foot when she was 17. Right on the arch. She spent a week alternating between using wart pads and an exacto knife to cut it out. It's long gone now. A year or so ago, though, she managed to stub her little toe so badly that the nail got ripped off. * This troper has a tendency to get ingrown toenails from time to time, which in itself is painful, but they usually subside in a month or so. Not so with the one I got most recently, which would not. Stop. Hurting. Cue this troper's mother wanting to prod at it and examine it, and... you get the idea. Then, this happened: --> '''Mother:''' [Applying medication to toenail to decrease swelling] Does this hurt? [Pushes '''hard''' on ingrown toenail]. --> '''Troper:''' [Paralyzed by pain for about two seconds, then tortured scream of anguish] ** (Same troper) I ended up having that part of the toenail permanently removed, leaving me with about 9.55 toenails. * This troper very often stubs his toe on something, [[{{Karma}} usually right after laughing at his mom for doing the same thing]]. ** Also, being a tenderfoot, I'm prone to bruising a lot, on vacation we went to universal studios and went through both parts, by the time we were done, I had roughly three blisters on each foot the size of my palm, it was gnarly. * A kid at this troper's school broke his toe trying to run up a wall. Twice. * When [[Tropers/ShannaA1 I]] was a kid, I couldn't go on vacation anywhere without getting severe blisters on my feet. While visiting Washington D.C., we walked so far that my heels actually began to bleed. ** Also, on a trip to Disney World, someone in a wheelchair ran over my feet. I didn't actually hear him calling at me to get out of the way, so I'm not sure whether it was his fault or mine. ** I was also in Disney World when a man in a wheelchair ran into me from behind. The front of his wheelchair rammed into the back of my ankles, and for a moment, I was literally temporarily blinded with pain. That said, it was partially my fault as I was suffering from jet-lagging and didn't hear him shout. * A couple years ago this troper had stubbed her toes many times before, but nothing compares to the one time her stubbed pinky toe bled. She was a bit stressed after school, and it was when her room

was turned into the guest bedroom. There was a lot of clutter in the very small hallway of the second floor and that Godforsaken bookshelf... Let's just say, this troper thought she needed to go to the hospital. Because it did bleed, but the skin did ''not'' tear and it wasn't red blood but ''blue''. You can imagine her surprise when, about a couple weeks to a month later, the bump was hard enough to just peel off with the wound completely heal. She thought it'd be a souvenir of a lifetime! On an unrelated note, this trope is the reason why this troper never showed much incentive for martial arts lessons where she had to be barefooted. Stubbed toes ahoy! ---Watch your step on the way back to AgonyOfTheFeet ----

AGoodNameForARockBand && pg [[caption-width:214:Oh, [[ it actually is]].]] At the suggestion of @/SabreJustice. * By the way, @/SabreJustice would be AGoodNameForARockBand. See also TropeNamesForABand ---* Jizzy Tissues. Do I even need to explain? * I was watching 'ProjectRunway' one night, and the comment was made that something looked like a 'Disco Apron'. Sounded like a good name for a band. * I have a band named "Negative Half". A misspelling of "lemon jello" led to us writing a song called "Lemon Cello". ** You know that's a type of alcohol, right? ** {{Hilarious in Hindsight}} * Ever since I started needing to know the Latin names for animals, I've been obsessed with "''corvus corone''", the Latin name for the carrion crow, being a badass name for a goth band. ** There's the German medieval rock band Corvus Corax (Latin name for the common crow) * I'm starting a band called "Cannibal Food Drive". * I once saw "Atoms for Peace", a term used by Dwight Eisenhower in launching a program to spread atomic power throughout the world, and thought to myself, "That would be a good name for a band." Imagine my surprise when going to [[ the Wikipedia article]] and seeing at the top of the page "''This article is about the U.S. President Dwight D. Eisenhower's speech. For Thom Yorke's live band, see [[ Atoms for Peace (band)]].''" Not just some obscure band, but a ''supergroup''! * While reading the Bible, I found the part of Jeremiah where God says

that, for it's sins, Judah will become known as the "Valley of Slaughter". A Good Name For A Rock Band? I think so. * After seeing Brook in the manga (and a few clips from the anime) OnePiece, I think that the name "Afro Skeleton" has potential. We could even do a version of Bink's Sake! * I have a band called "Theo" In Gutar Hero: world tour. The O has a umlat for rock purposes. * I was playing ''ResidentEvil 5'' with his friend when for no reason he blurted out "Its like...Super Wesker and the Volcano....Wait. That would be a good name for a band." * This Troper wishes to begin a Death/Grind band called The Genovese since a lot of brutal Hardcore influenced bands seem to take their ideas from dead women or social injustice... so why not both? And on that same note, any interesting phrases or things I learn about become song titles and I immediately begin thinking of lyric ideas. I've yet to get anywhere with it but if it does take off, I'll be in the money! [[EvilLaugh MUAHAHAHAHAHA]] * This troper and her best friend have a lot of these sneak up on us, often while playing Mad Libs. The most recent being 'Wisecracking Reptile Population' and 'Homosexual And Menacing'. Then, there are the ones that have stories behind them. For instance, a conversation about the name of My dog being the same as [[{{Angel}} a certain Buffy spinoff]] led to the band name 'My Dog Is An Emo Vampire'; confusing a straw with red plastic stuck to it as a flower poking out of the snow gave us 'Artificial Flower Prediction'; last, but certainly not least, a conversation on the subject of ''Series/DoctorWho'' that strange places was the birthplace of 'David Tennant's Dangly Bits'. * My Rock Band band and my friend's band are named "The Killer Frijoles" and "Permafrost", respectively. * In an episode of ''{{Fringe}}'', a man leaps to his death while hallucinating. The hallucination is that he's being attacked by a swarm of butterflies with [[KillerRabbit razor-edge wings]]. "RazorWinged Butterflies" would be AGoodNameForARockBand. ** It sounds like some kind of all-chick punk band. *** Exactly, sounds awesome. * This troper and her friends long ago decided that their band name would be "Nuclear Fruitbowl." None of us remembers where this name came from, except that we all immediately decided that it was, indeed, AGoodNameForARockBand. * While not necessarily for a rock band, @/DarkInsanity13 is adamant that if she ever gets a cosplay group together to do a skit, they will either be named "Subtitles Not Included" or "Now With Subtitles", depending on the content of the skit. ** How about..."Subtitles Not Included: ''Now With Subtitles''"? ** Actually, ''Now with Subtitles'' should be the name of their second album. ** Third album should totally be ''Gag Dub''. Their long-awaited fourth album should be called ''{{Macekre}}''. ^_^ *** The OP would like to comment that apparently the whole "cosplay skit group" concept has apparently been lost on the above comments, but enjoys the ideas nonetheless.

** And their insanely popular hit-single? 'Foreign Film Dub' ** OP, on another note, would like to say that hers and her brother's band name in Rock Band is Bad Shield United...after a one-shot/movie cameo done by [[{{Bleach}} Kubo Tite]]. Band members included Vega Highwell on vocals, and Jetscape-15 (supposed to be Jetcape, but Jetscape rolls off the tongue better) on guitar/bass. There was also possibly Chad on drums, but it's been so long that she can't remember. Though, if she now recalls correctly, Chad actually plays the guitar in the actual series... ** So... Did anyone else read this and think that ''Cosplay Skit Group'' itself wouldn't make a bad name for a band? ** Now that I think of it, so would 'Possibly Chad'. * This editor and friends were watching a program on feral children that abruptly cut to an ad for a motorcycle, so we started joking that what we were seeing was actually a child that had been ''raised'' by motorcycles. It was only afterward that he realized that Raised By Motorcycles would be... um, yeah. * Its origins are lost to the mists of time, but My Rock, band, is called ''Lunchlady Vendetta.'' * ''Changing Viscocity,'' apparently, from {{Sanctuary}} * @/{{Nomic}} often says that to find a good name for a rock band, just get a medical dictionary and open it at a random spot. Also, just about any German word. ** Actually, just find a word randomizer. You'll find something interesting eventually (I mean, where else could something like the Pigeon Detectives come from?) *** This troper, in need of a cool Guitar Hero III band name, just kept refreshing [[ .aspx this page]] until he got a cool-sounding noun, and ended up with Detonator. Which is pretty good, if a little generic. He now kind of regrets not setting the complexity to obscure and getting something like Supertragedy or Seismosaur. Still, thanks for that. **** This troper, using the random phrase generator on the same website, got "Compressive Swallow". **** SALUGI. That is all. *** The random phrase generator gave me "Dry Democratic Cockishness". **** Archaeological Jugoslavian. ***** @/NielJacoby got Score Trojan, and has wanted to play in bands called "The American Psychos" and "The Microserfs" **** The page wouldn't work for this tropette, and all it said was "General Network Error". She was disappointed until she realized that "General Network Error" is an amazingly badass name for a rock band. *** I used the same site for his Rock Band name and got "Semifiction". His Guitar Hero: World Tour band named after the {{Angel}} episode "Supersymmetry". *** While participating in a bar's trivia night, this troper and a friend ended up with the most boring team name in the room (actually, just our own names), and started discussing what we should have used instead. Somehow combining our two Rock Band names came up as an idea, but then we realized that, since she had gone the sophomoric route with hers, the result would have been... ''Cunt Detonator''. Which

probably would be going too far, even in comparison to the team dubbed Michelle Obama Juggles Inaugural Balls. Still, if anyone reading this needs a "Grossout/Blasphemy Name" for a real or fictional band, it'd work nicely. *** I tried the random word generator the old-fashioned way, picking a two-word name by flipping randomly through the dictionary and plunking his finger down. First attempt: Earache Latrappe. Second attempt: Galveston Buttache. There was no third attempt. * When he was 12, this troper and one of his friends thought of many band names featuring a pun based on the word "punk"; looking back at that time, this troper feels embarrassed on the sheer idiocy of names as "Peter Punk" or "Punk con mantequilla" (Bread with butter in Spanish; eventually his friend band used that name for a short while before having a better idea, using names without the word "Punk") ** Peter Punk is an actual, if not quite popular, punk rock band in Italy. ** And "Punk Conman Tequilla" would still be workable. Although "Pan" and "Punk" don't actually sound very much alike at all. * I once spent an entire bus-trip with a friend, writing down good band/album names. The list has expanded over the years. Items include: Famous Last Words (decided against it, thinking that if we ever got famous, people would just be waiting for us to die); Minus the Man; & Co.; String Theory; and Men of the West (in which we would love to have a female member, preferably lead-guitar). ** There's already a band named Minus The Bear. One of their albums was Menos el Oso... yeah. *** Men of the West would be a good name for an all girl group that plays eastern music. * While driving one day, I was cut off by a typical New Jersey driver who didn't even have the courtesy to use his signal. I bust out angrily with "God dammit, [[AGoodNameForARockBand nobody signals]] around here!" After the awkward silence in which I realized I was [[TalkingToHimself talking to myself]], I continued to do so and muttered, "Huh...that's AGoodNameForARockBand." A few of my friends agreed but have better ones in mind. But I came up with this one all on my own, damn it. * I came up with The Gazebo Dwelling Rodents after seeing [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin a rodent crawling around in a gazebo]]. ** Just make sure it doesn't get attacked by a wandering adventurer. ** The Wandering Adventurers would be a good name for... a salad spinner. Likewise with The Salad Spinners. *** The Salad Spinners would be a good name for a folk/soul crossover band. * I have [[YuGiOh a bit]] [[TheSandman of a]] [[TheDarkKnight special]] [[YamiNoMatsuei affection]] for the [[EyeScream Injury to the Eye Motif]], and so one day, completely messing around (as one does) I proposed the phrase 'massive ocular trauma' to coin what I'm fond of. No idea if that actually means anything at all, medically, but I did afterward state that that would make an AWESOME band name. Apparently, someone took me up on that. (No idea of they're the ones now [[

endid=83428691 on myspace]], though.) Other band names so spawned? ''Black Order Amish'' (no buttons, lots of animal blood), and several others (which I shall not disclose, lest they get taken too. Drat you all!) ** Also, ''Lobster Thermidor'' would make an awesome first album name. * I maintain that ''The Revenge of Millard Fillmore'' would be a good name for a band. * I was in a band for several years, and came up with two names that were shot down - ''The Baker St. Irregulars'' (named after...[[SherlockHolmes well, you know...]]), and ''J.S. and the Bach-Ups'', which ''I'' thought was a clever use of our lead singer's initials and Baroque musician-based humor. I still use it as my default fake band name in Rock Band. * I, thanks to a musically-inclined and somewhat loony brother, have many; among them are ''Dripping Yellow Madness'', ''The Least Weasels'', ''The Shrieking Eels'', ''Encoder'', ''Italian Concentration Camps'', and ''The Carolina Num-Nums'' (the last of which I believe we filched from a list of "Before They Were Steely Dan" band names on the, well, Steely Dan website). The rest... it's probably best not to ask. ** ''Dripping Yellow Madness'' is at least a ''HomestarRunner'' reference. *** [[ThePrincessBride The Shrieking Eels]] **** Nobody would ever leave the concerts. * A handy hint: need a good name for a band? Go to [[TheOtherWiki Wikipedia]] and hit "random article" a few times. You'll be happy eventually. A few examples achieved like this: ''Parliament of Botswana'', ''Population Process'', ''Cucking Stool'', and ''The Future of Food''. ** This is part of a forum game that's set around this trope. The Wiki article gives you your band name, the last four words on the last quote [[ here]] give you your album title and [[ the third picture along]] is your cover. I ended up with ''[[ The Streets After Them by Tagbéssé]]''. *** I actually got a pretty coherent (though incredibly lame) album title that way with ''[[ It's Not Worth It ]] by Crossing''. I don't think the ''"I'm deep, I swear!"'' vibes could get any stronger off that turd album. *** I read that as "Teabagese" and that the levels of SeriousBusiness and trash-talk on Xbox Live got to such high levels that it became recognized as its own language. Oh yeah, and "Teabagese" would also be AGoodNameForARockBand. I guess. *** [[ ''The Illusion of Knowledge'']] by Old Tobacco, which sounds just like the kind of experimental blues-influenced post-rock album I would listen to over and over. *** [[ In A Reasonable Form by Vanderbijlpark]]. Sounds like it can't make up its mind between indie rock and black metal...

*** I got [[ "When the Road Darkens"]] with [[ this]] as the cover, by [[,_Mother 'night, Mother]]. Aaaw. It's not fun when it almost makes sense! *** [[ Didn't Miss The Boat by Cliopsidae]]. Actually, it'd be "Not Miss The Boat", but the grammar bothers me. *** Speaking as the only person who decided to make the actual album cover...[[ ver.png/ Wólka Prusicka: Which We Do Possess]] *** We have been sick by 17042 Madiraju. Beats me as to what kind of band it would be, but there goes nothing. *** You're not alone, I did the same and got [[ 2 Rusty Brown Comics: Because she wasn't boring]] and yes, I was sad enough to find the explicit lyrics logo for it. *** [[ "Get Forgiveness Than Permission"]] by O.S.H.U.S.A.F. (which stands for '''O'''rganizational '''S'''tructure and '''H'''ierarchy of the '''U'''nited '''S'''tates '''A'''ir '''F'''orce) **** the cover can be found [[ 1566367 here]] *** ''[[ Never Have a Beginning]]'', by Scagea. [[ ¤t=neverhaveabeginning.jpg Now with its own cover!]] *** 9385 Aransio got named after an asteroid so I decided they play space rock (duh). As in their debut album ''[[ Be wrong and kill]]''. *** Zen At War's debut album, ''Not For Looking At'': cover [[ here]]. *** I got [[ "Obvious Only In Retrospect"]] by The Afterhour Club *** [[@/BeanJavert I]] got ''Superior to Medicine'' and [[ this pic]]; the actual quote was "is superior to medicine", but the grammar bugged me. *** [[@/{{SonicGTR}} I]] got [[ "An Adventure in Forgiveness"]] by Natural Justice. Makes me think Acid Jazz with some Blues-like melodies. *** For My first try, it was ''...of Establishing the Truth'' by Opnode, with as the cover pic. Seems interesting, especially if you don't call Opnode by its longer form, Open Node. *** A fun result on My first try, though I was a little disappointed in the album cover for [[ "Listening to Repetitive Music" by Metronome]]. *** The completely nonsensical

[[ "Never Touch Its Coat-Tails" by September 1959 Lunar Eclipse]]. Awesome. *** I got Fit this year's fashions, by [=AmigaOne=]. I really want to listen to that... *** I got [[ "...And You Command Everybody" by Cross-fade.]]Now tell me that doesn't sound like an awesome electronica band? *** I got [[ "A Crowd of Men" by Mojave Experiment.]] It reminds me of some electronic Idon't-know-what... *** I got [[ "Always Mom. Hi, Mom!" by R-7 Semyorka.]] Must be a ShoutOut. *** I got [[ "Valued Till Sickness Comes" by Sazes da Beira.]] I've got no idea what that means. *** I ended up with [[ "You Never Look Down" by Neversdorf]]. Not bad. *** [[ "It Keeps Him Young"]] by Caraval. If only the picture was square, I'd like to have it as real album art. *** I got carried away designing covers: [[ jpg "Sent to the Legislature"]] by The Little David Years, [[ nsel.jpg "Merely to be Normal"]] by Southland Regional Counsel, and [[ "Be Wrong And Kill"]] by [=CXCL13=]. *** I got "Different from Being Rash" by The Association of Wrongdoers. The band name? Awesome. The album title? Less so. *** I decided to give this a shot [[ ¤t=NAoS.jpg]] Kinda looks what I would listen to. *** I got [[ "Steal with Good Judgement"]] by forty2. *** [[ "What They Think Laughable by History of Shropshire"]] I'm thinking folk with a sort of classical tinge to it. *** "One Course Of Action" by Nishiki. *** Mine is [[ 6ec92fc2.jpg?t=1282586695 "Pretend that isn`t the case"]] by Euclid. Considering the picture I believe that the album name is quite appropriate. *** I got [[ "The Slide Into Atrocity"]] by Pragmatic Web. Dark, brooding nerdiness! *** I got "We Admire Their Astuteness" by Mexican Sign Language. And for some reason, I actually really like that! (The album title, to me anyway, sounds like a good second album name for a band that got good reviews on their first album and has a sense of humor, basically saying "Thank you for recognizing our awesomeness" jokingly.) *** Mine was

[[ Too Big To Attempt]] by Jiangqiao Campaign. EPIC. *** ''To Any Love Problem'', by Gloria Comerma, with [[ this]] as the cover. Sounds like a Spanish big band jazz crooner. *** Alone Against Tomorrow's hit new single, [[ Root of Much Humor]], on sale now! *** [[ You Don't Need It]], by The Human Goddess. *** ''[[ Comes From Bad Judgment]]'', by Downfall. Oh my god, that's awesome. Also, ''[[ Because They Are Ignored]]'' by [=RiverSplash!=] *** [[ es.jpg He might become disturbed]] by Famea Blues. It sounds like a band with a lot of creepy lyrics. *** ''[[ There When It Happens]]'' by Anglican Realignment. Also ''[[ Elected To Anything]]'' by Maintenance of Way, and ''[[ Your MotherIn-Law]]'' by Calendar of Saints. *** ''[[ Look Back and Regret]]'' by Hurricane Isabel, coming soon to a store not near you. *** [[ Blow Up The Planet]] by The Democratic Solidarity Party. [[BigYes Yes.]] *** ''[[ Best Done By Professionals]]'' by Turbo Shrew, from their album ''1989 in Wales''. I couldn't let one of the names go to waste. *** ''[[ A Child of Five]]'' by Big Bar Heliport. *** ''[[ All Kinds Of Ways]]'' by The Climb. * This troper sees good band names in tragedy - Mom Shot Dead or Jackknife Tractor Trailer. He also happens to agree with J.D.'s suggestion that Seven Car Pile-Up! would make a good band name. ** Too bad for you, [[!/pages/8-Car-PileUp/323563131265?ref=ts it's half taken]]. * This troper and a friend of hers are mortally convinced that if a metal band called Gratüitoüs Ümlaüt doesn't already exist, it damn well SHOULD. ** They're in the Kansas City area. With an umlaut over the G and the final T. *** Really? [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome SWEET!]] * @/{{Cameoflage}}'s primary Rock Band band is just called Faily [=McFail=] (although, in my opinion, that's not a bad-sounding name aside from the inability to take it seriously). However, she has a list of these stashed on her computer, with some of the better ones being The Martian Brain Trust (taken from ''AMiracleOfScience''),

Interstellar Esperanto, Council House, Zombie Goose Step and Men In Trees. It also includes such gems as Dream Brick, Death by Daffodils, and Dwarf Bathrooms. * I always thought "Alistair and the Crazy Witch-Thieves" would be an amazing video-game rock group. * While reading this article, I decided that I should find a way to use random names and phrases I've thought of to make a band name, song name, or album name. Hmm... Shikal: the phantom soldier in the rose desert. Maybe Tvtropes can help me think of a name... Buffy Xantos, Avamiya, And Ouran must scream. * In high school this troper and friends intended to start a band called The Take You Into The Western Part Of The Nation, though we ultimately did no such thing. The inspiration was an afternoon spent watching TV with closed captioning and repeatedly changing the channel quickly enough for the text to run together: At one point this included jumping from VH-1 to the Weather Channel, with the result being a sentence about George Harrison, Bob Dylan, Roy Orbison, and Jeff Lynne forming a band called The Take You Into The Western Part Of The Nation. It could be helpfully abbreviated as TTYITWPOTN, of course. Similarly, from a strange burst of nonsense in the middle of a closed caption transcription of a commercial, we got our first album title: ''Hido Turkoglu''. Some of us once ended up having an odd impromptu jam session on keyboard, kazoo and dinner bell, which we jokingly declared the first and only TTYITWPOTN song. ** You'd probably get sued. [[ Were you watching basketball?]] * After watching far too much {{Lost}}, I came up with The Ekos of Cerberus. ** Another {{LOST}}-inspired one: The Shadow of the Statue. ** This {{Lost}}-obsessed Troper thinks [[HeroicSacrifice Not Penny's Boat]] would also be a great, nerdy band name. * Thanks to Dave Barry, this troper and his father will often declare unusual phrases to be AGoodNameForARockBand. This troper has also made up a few Lego rock bands for his town over the years, including Radioactive Muskrats (taken from a Dave Barry column) and Dodgy Concept. ** The favorite interjection of My dad is "rat spit" (from the name of a minor demon in a series of noveks). Combining this with a liking for Dave Barry's writing, and My favorite good name for a rock band is "Atomic Muskrat Spit." ** This Troper's sister's Lego Rock Band is named "X-cessive Deerdoots", also borrowed from Dave Barry, but with much more creative spelling. * The Blazing Squirrels of Justice. I believes that to be a good name for any group. * I once made up the name "Retired Jumprope Mistresses". Where it came from, I don't know, but there it is. * In this troper's U.S. History class the phrase "Merchant's of Death" came about in the 1930's even the teacher thought it would be a great name. * At one point in the old Series/DoctorWho story "Image of the

Fendahl," the Doctor is asked "What are you, some kind of wandering armageddon peddler?" The moment I heard that line, he thought, "Wandering Armageddon Peddler" would be a great name for a rock band." ** Speaking of Series/DoctorWho, I can't be the only person who thinks that the episode title "Four to Doomsday" would make an excellent band name? *** YouAreNotAlone. *** This troper is taking this name for his eccentric alternative indie rock band. ** Any other Who related band names? I thought of Fish Custard, The Exterminators, The Harold Saxon Experience and Pond. * @/MinusZero misspells cool words with XtremelyKoolLetterz, and gets things like "Elektrik Tzunami", "C4 Yourself"(For our more "Xplosive" titles [Don't kill me.].), and a correctly spelled "LOL Is Overrated." ** [[HomestarRunner LIMOZEEN!!!]] * @/{{Bisyss}} tends to do this with album titles instead of band names. If I ever end up in a band, I'm naming one of the albums after a documentary about hyenas I saw advertised. It's name? ''Bone Crusher Queens''. \m/ * This troper has spent some of her spare time doing this. Her favorites are The Sound and the Fury, Serving Suggestion, and Lemonade Vision. ** The sound and the fury sounds vaguely familiar to me. is it possible that ItsBeenDone? *** It's a book by Faulkner, and a Shakespeare line. It was also a proposed title for R.E.M.'s third album. [[TemptingFate However, this troper does not think a band currently uses it.]] **** Faulkner's As I Lay Dying is currently being used by some metal band. I was amazed to find out that his skater friend liked Faulkner, only for it to be revealed that he actually just liked generic metal. * @/DwayneHicks does this ''all the time''. Some examples culled from IRC and other chat logs: ** Gummi Debauchery ** Guppy War Takes Boston ** Paradigm Mixer ** Negative Tulip Expanse ** Slot Car Singularity * My brother and I were having a contest with our uncle to see who could think up of a cool name for a rock band and my brother said gems such as "Peach Punch", "Apple surprise" after 20 minutes I said "Iridescence" and won. * I am currently part of a garage band called Chainsaw Arm named after...[[EvilDead you know...]] Other abortive projects sported the appellations "Grover Cleveland and the Televangelists", "Citizen of the Day", and "Kentucky-Fried Dynamite". ** Come to think of it, a lot of things from Evil Dead would be good names. "Boomstick", "Primitive Screwheads", "Evil for Breakfast", "Deadites with Science", etc. * "Republic of the Bees". That is all. * In the opinion of this troper, many trope names could be awesome names for rock bands: ''Impaled With Extreme Prejudice'', ''Frothy Mugs Of Water'', and so on.

** BusFullOfNuns, anyone? * Saw an Engrish sign for something like "Please to not hardcore scenery making." It was a "Don't make noise, don't cause trouble" sign, but I realized Hardcore Scenery would make an ''amazing'' band name. ** And 'Scenery Making' would be the perfect name for their first album. * "[[MegaManX Volt CatFish]]." The most awesome name for a late 'nineties electro-rock band. ** @/AndyWaltfeld is himself partial to "[[MegaManZX Vulturon, Defender of Rock]]." ** [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] thinks a lot of Maverick names would make good names for rock bands, like Magma Dragoon * [[TheLegendOfZelda Fused Shadows]]. Come on, you know it's awesome. * Jimmy and the Rocket-Men. * You know the troper who goes by @/RadioactiveZombie? * "Downpour Girl". I got it from a Pig Destroyer song on their album Terrifyer. * A direct phrase from some of the most ridiculous 'erotica' this troper has ever come across: Titty-Fucking Midgets. * This Tropette and her friends keep a list of this. "Like a Metal," "She Knows Self-Defense," "Brown Bears," "The Gloves Are Off," "Virtual Diamonds," and simply, "The Extremes" are among my favorites. * I got "Chemical Frankenstein" from a show on the History Channel. * This troper and his friends decided that if we were ever going to start a band, it would be called either Chickenfist or Crying Tiger. * This troper is currently in a band with a YaoiFangirl, a SeriousBusiness, FanDumb metal guy, [[AsianAndNerdy and]] [[DoggedNiceGuy others]] who you think couldn't stand being in a room together for more than ten minutes, and after months of searching, finally we decided on a name so awesome everyone could agree on it: BAKAHAMMER! * I listen to a radio show that will occasionally interrupt their broadcast with a soundbite about how awesome a certain phrase would be for a rock band's name. Phrases given the honor so far include: Blowing My Nuts, Arabian Goat Herder, and White Tiger. * XanatosRoulette would be a great band name. ** In the same vein, XanatosGambit. ** Really, trope names in general would be AGoodNameForARockBand, with very few exceptions. * This troper went for bonus geek cred on his band names, which end up along the lines of "Citation Needed" or "Three Point One Four". He was quickly topped by his best friend's "Ye Flask". ** How about Kernel Panic? *** Better yet, Colonel Panic and the Geek Army. *** Colonel Panic and the Mighty Fighting Midgets **** Just Mighty Fighting Midgets ** Ye Flask? I don't get it. *** Of course not. [=~You can't get ye flask~=]. **** *ba dum tsh* * I was a member of a pro atheism forum on which "Satan and the evilutionists" came up occasionally (either from fundie preachers or

from one of us parodying fundie preachers). It was agreed that Satan and the Evilutionists would be a good name for a rock band. * Subversion: A band named "Free Beer" would undoubtedly have trouble scheduling gigs, simply because, given Truth in Advertising laws in most jurisdictions, no drinking establishment wants to post "Free Beer" on their marquee. ** As an aside, George Bernard Shaw's play, ''Heartbreak House'', was heavily criticized for expressing Shaw's own anti-war feelings. As a twisted form of revenge against the critics (many of whom refused to stage ''Heartbreak House'', he wrote a new play: ''Closed for Renovations''. You can guess what happened when ''that'' play went up on the marquee. that I think about it, Closed for Renovations would be a GoodNameForARockBand.... * When screen-caps of the infamous poorly-subbed ''The Two Towers'' bootleg were first making the rounds, I decided that [[ Lovely Big Golden Ships With Noise]] would make for an excellent name for a post-rock group along the lines of Godspeed You! Black Emperor. ** "Solomon Milon Dish" is brilliant. ** "few good tritors" anyone? ** Not as Engrishy, but "Forget the Glory" would also be awesome. * Shake Hands With Danger, after a [[ gory work safety film]]. It is apparently a well-known enough reference that the band Trs-80 named an album after it though... * "Stroke of Genius". It was. * This troper and her friends were trying to make up a fictional Japanese Rock Band we could cosplay as when her little sister yelled "There's no such thing as negative zero!" in exasperation over her homework. We henceforth named our (nonexistent) band Negative Zero because it was...well yeah. ** I second Negative Zero. It can fit in any genre, and you can put a "-0" on the drumset. ** Better yet, a little neon line held next to the bass drum, and neon all around the rim. * @/JMorgan wonders if "Maggot Psychology" would make a better name for a rock band than for a trope. In the past, she's also suggested "The Christmas Flu and its Side Effects." * Not I, but her brother. His band is called "The Undercover Supermodels." I...don't really know where they came up with it. * I, while studying for Veterinary Medicine entrance exams, found out that the book ''Human biology and anathomy'' is ''full'' of great names for punk bands, like "Humoral factors" or "The Peristaltic movement". * This troper says, pick up any expression in Latin. It's just bound to be awesome, regardless of the meaning. * This troper has numerous examples. The one he decided on in Rock Band was based on the Drum Tutorial, when referencing the bass pedal, had the dude say "This ain't no hoedown, chumley," and so our band name became Hoedown Chumley. Other classics include: Flaming Giblets, Piles of Purity, Flying Buttresses (that's an actual thing, look it up), and Caution Children (get it? "Caution - Children Playing"

signs)! ** Now all you have to do is find a bar or club called "Streets". "Caution Children Playing in Streets". * I have always thought that "[[FinalFantasy Lunatic Pandora]]" would be a great name for a band. * I (a real Dave Barry fanatic) will always argue that "The Italic Squirrels" is a great name for a rock band. Not to mention "The Foliage Eaters." * After taking AP Art History, I want to start a rock band named "Horror Vacui," which is Latin for "the fear of empty spaces." * I saw a joke in some Late Night show involving the phrase "Stovepipe Sluts"...Not bad. And since I'm such a nerd, I think "Tesla Coil" would be an kickass band ** Or, alternatively, 'Tesla Coil' could make for a really strange stripper name *** A stripper with a steampunk schtick? * Indie Rock band: Poems about the color blue. This troper and a friend even came up with a few good names for songs: ** Random Vortex of noise and confusion. ** Shadow of a doubt on your teeth. ** Scraps of the table of fashion. ** Mac in the dressing room. ** Suspiciously specific denial. (yay tropes!) ** Rule 34 on indie rock band. ** Bitch slap from beyond the grave (through math) *** That one was thought up during a conversation about Fermat's last theorem, specifically his famous quote: "I have a marvelous proof for this theorem which is too long to fit in this margin". * I have a friend who decided that the most metal way to take heroin would be to inject it into a goat, sacrifice the goat to the heathen gods and drink its blood. Hence the name of his metal band, Heroin Goat. * @/{{Katsuhagi}} named her Guitar Hero band Young Fungus. This was actually stolen from her dad, so she can't take credit for it. She did, however, come up with the name Iguana Problem while watching a nature documentary. * The name Sugar Rush Midgets has always seemed like an excellent name for a rock band. A glam metal band would, of course, have to be called Sex Vendetta. * I occasionally dabble in thinking of good names for a rock or metal band. Hopefully these are still free: ** Anacoluthon. Sure it might mean a type of [[ syntax change]], but the word just ''exudes'' awesomeness. ** Phlogiston Theory. [[ Linky]] for name origin. ** Nongqawuse. Again, [[ linky]] for curious minds. ** [[KarmaHoudini Karma Houdini]]. Had to include at least one Trope name in there. * @/JuiceBoxHero is convinced that [[

certain country names]] would make great names for a rock band. Of these include: Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, Barbados, Isle of Man, Luxembourg, Saint Lucia, Sierra Leone, and Bangladesh. ** Also, ARGENTINA YEAH! ** [[ Bangladesh]] is already taken. No, really. * [[MassEffect Geth]][[{{Metalocalypse}} klok]]. That is all. * I have a friend who has some pretty weird music on her computer. Some of it is sounds they picked up on a radio around Saturn. It's called, "Saturn Radio Emissions." I remembers just turning to her friend and going, "If I ever get a band, I'm calling it Saturn's Radio Emissions." I love that it sounds like "Satan's Radio Emissions," just more rockish, music-wise. * [[YoutubePoop Where There's Smoke, They Pinch Back]]. That is all. * [[DeaderThanDead Deader]] [[DeadLesbianSyndrome Lesbians]] [[IWasKidnappedByLesbianPiratesFromOuterSpace from the]] [[EverythingsBetterWithPenguins Penguin Planet's]] [[MeaningfulName Roadkill Avenue]]. * When I bought Guitar Hero: World Tour for himself and his sisters, the band name the game suggested was "Keys to the Radio". Non of us had any desire to change this. * @/VoodooMaster has several bands that never really got anywhere. My ''new'' band, however, is gonna be great: "A Good Name for a Rock Band". Yes, trope rock. * This industrial rock-loving troper came up with quite a few, including some based on trope names. ** By far my favorite one is SchizoTech. ** ChekhovsGun. ** MoreDakka. ** And likely the single best one yet: Zeerust. * @/{{Azreal}} always uses Mercury for his Rock Band / Guitar Hero band names. It's a triple layered reference: The coolest element on the periodic table, a great piece of classical music, and one of our planets. It would make a good name for some kind of techno/ambient group. ** Not when it conjures up images of [[{{Queen}} a flamboyant gay man with a mustache]]. ** ... damnit, [[SailorMoon Mercury]] [[AnIcePerson really is the]] [[IncrediblyLamePun coolest]], ain't she? *** Eh, [[Tropers/ReikoKazama I'm]] partial to Moon, myself, but this is going off the rails. Oh! The Sailor Senshi would be an AWESOME name for a rock band. Eheheh, 'course, it'd have to be all girls, but... * [[@/{{Pinata}} I]] have thought of a few: ** [[{{MagicTheGathering}} The Rabid Wombats]]. ** The Sex Blobs (after [[{{Friends}} Joey Tribianni's]] line "I am not a sex blob!"). ** [[{{TheLordOfTheRings}} Evenstar]] would be a good name for an Emerson, Lake & Palmer style, medieval fantasy-oriented band. ** The Defenestrators. "Defenestrate" is quite possibly the most hilarious word ever. ** [[{{StarWars}} The Walking Carpets]]. * My Guitar Hero Band names: WildRide, [=FireGod=], Heavy Steel (Axel

Steel), Lynch Mob (Casey Lynch), Allspark (Izzy Sparks), Rising Sun (Midori), Devil's Rejects (Lou) and Budvis The Boys (Elroy Budvis). * In high school, I played bass in a band called "Doomed Space Marines". We were all fans of ''Duke Nukem 3D''. * I find that taking lines from fiction and modifying them could make awesome band names. Seriously, take a kickass line from somewhere and make it into a band name. It's not very hard. ** [[LordOfTheRings "Not This Day"]]; their first album? "The Strength of Men"; a song on the album? "Wolves and Winter". It's a metal band with gothic influences * [[ Curious Octopus Floods Aquarium]]. Seriously. Actually, just Curious Octopus would be pretty cool in and of itself. Even the end of that url would make a pretty good band name... ''Octopus Mischief''! * My dad has suggested names like Savage Biscuit and Bone Dog * Subverted in that it's not a band, but a group of people who work on the news at My high school have dubbed themselves Team Lazerjesus and instead of their names during the credits at the end of the news, it has their team name displayed. * Some of this site's ads. Specifically, a [=CliffNotes=] one. "'''Master Shakespeare at''' '''''LIGHTNING SPEED!'''''" * On the trip back to college from a weekend at home, [[@/{{Shellsh0cker7}} I]] started thinking of these to amuse myself. It occured to me that "BigDamnHeroes" would make a pretty good band name, and started thinking of other [[{{Firefly}} Firefly/Serenity]] quotes that would make good band names. Here's what I came up with: ** "Chain Of Command" ** "Gonna Have To Go With Wrath" (or some variation) ** "Go Crazy and Fall Asleep" ** "Surprising Yet Inevitable Betrayal" (or just "Inevitable Betrayal") ** "The People On The Rim" (be a good name for a folk-rock band, methinks) ** Lastly, as I ran out of quotes I could remember at the time, something occurred to me: "Shattered Tibia." *** You forgot "Bullet in the Brainpan", "She's Our Witch", and "Does that seem right to you?" *** Not to mention "The Cunning Hats". *** Or "Too Pretty to Die" * A friend and I once had dinner at the home of another friend's parents. On their bookshelf we saw the title "Lizards in Captivity" and in that moment we knew, if we EVER have a rock band... * I've always thought that a good name for a band would be Sultans of Swing from the Dire Straits track of the same name. If I had a band then that's what I would call it! * In the event that I ever actually start a band, it WILL be called Sistine Shrapnel. ** Update: I now have a band named Sistine Shrapnel. * Having had many bands, have had many names for bands. When writing stories about bands, this is also essential. Including: The Thursday Society, Baz and the Magical Quest(My bassist named us then) How About

No, Basics, Stark Kontrast, Mount Down, Society Quest, Unknown Destination, and my personal favourite, Blue Note (Or, as my new band may be called, The Blue Notes) * The Exploding Abbots. What can I say, my roleplaying group gets up to some crazy shit. * I was talking to a friend when she referred to the author Matthew Reilly as the 'Scarecrow Animator' as his Shane Schofield series revolves around the titular character, whose callsign is 'Scarecrow'. Then five seconds later, she went, 'Dude! That is ''such'' a good name for a rock band! The Scarecrow Animators!" * Two words: [[ Luggage Gangsters]]. * A couple of fictional bands I've made up ([[{{Dream}} and used in the story]] [[ShamelessSelfPromoter I keep promoting]]): Cats May Blow Up and The Screaming Bananas. ** "Static Kitten" will also probably be going in there. You can take "Stealth Penis", though, because I have no need for a band in the "Grossout/Blasphemy" section in this story. * @/{{Bryndon}} tried to convince his band to name themselves Croquet for Beginners (My father insists that Croquet is the blood-thirstiest sport you can imagine. After playing with him, I'm inclined to agree). Years later, they went with Anaconda Stampede. I'm forced to admit they're about equal. * My GarageBand tomfoolery is put out into the world under the name A Disaster of Stars (from Christian Bok's Crystallography: "Stars die in a disaster that shatters the stars"). Some time later I came up with a new project name, and in mentioning it to my guitarist friend, he demanded we collaborate and make it a reality. Our new band name? [[TheyFightCrime They Fight Crime!]], exclamation point and all. It was done so that naming our albums would be both easy and amusing. * A badly garbled question about Latin-American holidays led to the christening of Huevos de los Muertes (Eggs of the Death). The broken Spanish Grammar is intentional. * A line written on a chalkboard in a History of Religion class in college gave us Max Muller and the Indo-Europeans. * I was listening to Shiny Toy Guns 'Le Disko' and she stopped at the line, "So what's it gonna take, silver shadow believer? Spark rocker with your dirty eyes," and thought, "Dude, I bet 'The Silver Shadow Believers' could be AGoodNameForARockBand. * I wonder if the portrayal of ''GaoGaiGar's'' American robo isn't horribly inaccurate, because he immediately thinks that "Mic Sounders the 13th" is a great name for a rapper. * My Guitar Hero band is called the Purple Chickens. Also, me and my friends are starting a real-life band called Burnout Revival; the reason for this is because we want to capture the spirit of 70s rock in our music, so we're a revival of all those burned-out hippies. * I was once playing the game where you get a band name from a random Wikipedia article and an album name from a quote database, but my quote (which was itself rather unmemorable) ended in "Manufactory of Echoes". Hell yes. * I think that "Ministry of Love", "Jason and the Argonauts" and "The Physical Jerks" would be good.

** Also, "Ministry of Truth", "(any name) and the Umlauts", and "Perdita X Dream" sound good. The last one, especially. * I was at work when this came up: "The Talented Evil". * For today's bit of [[MetaGuy meta]]: TropeNamesForABand would be AGoodNameForARockBand. * This troper has always pondered the Coolest name for a Rock band, she came up with the coolest idea while walking around the park, a band where they all wear Skeleton costumes and facepaint called "The Skeletunes", but alas they only exist in her sketch book as a cartoon. * This troper (Magnezone) was listening to a song on YouTube (a Niels Brink song Gravity Hurts - which, now that you think about it, would be a GoodNameForARockBand)when her brother barged in the room. He demanded that he give her a name for his band. She paused the song, but turned it on for a few more seconds. She said to him, "Legend Will Carry You Thousands of Miles." He said it was too long. Then she sputtered out the first thing that came to her mind. Her brother's band is now called Red Chains, and she really likes that first one. * This troper has a collection of all the ridiculous band names he thought of just by reading this page. Among them are Bats With Hats, Water Heater Heats Water- Millions Shocked, Gummy Bear Extravaganza, Dead Fish and the Sodomy Bears, Listen To Our Noise, I Scream Pleasantly, The Fallen Paladins, Arbitrary Aggression, Cola Ice Cream, and Talentless Axe. * I was once on a forum where someone asked for music recommendations, and someone else reeled off a list of bands without using commas or capitalization. So, he responded by mentally placing commas in the wrong places, then posting brief critiques of the nonexistent artists Black Keys Johnny, Thunders Solo, Sublime Spoon D, and Generation (as opposed to the actual artists Black Keys, Johnny Thunders solo, Sublime, Spoon, and D Generation). You'd probably have to be an old school rapper to pull off Sublime Spoon D, but otherwise those would be pretty good band names. * This troper had a dream one night. While he remembers almost nothing about the dream itself, the only thing that remembers is the phrase "''Dandeloin Octopus''". He imagines that the music this band produces would be completely incomprehensible. * This troper (AKA Gerkuman, since most troper tales are personal stuff) named his band in Guitar Hero Ozymandias (Since 'Look upon my work and despair' is one of my favourite quotes.) Imagine my surprise when I completed a gig in Ozzfest, with Ozzy Ozborne... and the special effect of the stage was a giant Squid/Octopus! It's the best co-incidence I've ever had in my life. * This troper was doodling in class one day, as doodled characters he hadn't in a long time, and called them "The Supporting Cast". I then thought "The Supporting Cast" would make an awesome band name. * My band has a few ideas, all of which come from our Seinfeldian Conversations. They are Heroine Heroes, Crackers and Kool-Ade, A Cavalcade of Blasty Blasts, and Cogitating Masticators. Now if only coming up with a genre were this easy. * @/{{Soup}} plays a game with her friends/family members to get AGoodNameForARockBand She asks Someone in one room to provide a random word and then goes to someone else for another word. Neither person

can know anything about the game (at the time) The best was probably Squirrel Razorfuck. Also her brothers and her best Guitar Hero names: Back Alley Abortion, Retard Death Squad, and Q* (Pronounced Q asterisk) * This troper has a shirt that says "The Empire of Mind". It's completely meaningless, but he likes to pretend it's actually a '70s psychedelic rock band that only he has heard of. He loves sticking it to music snobs. * [[@/FinalGamer I ]] suggested a band name to a friend, Clockwork Crack, who then used it for his high school garage band to win a local rock competition. They grow up so fast. * This troper is writing a story with her best friend. Chapter titles thus far are Illuminated Vanity and Sparkles In The Dark. Both would be good names for bands. * If I ever had a band, it would definatly be called Alifanfarron and the Tennesse Tri State Authority. Or Attack of the Killer Ants. Or maybe The Immunoglobulin Superfamily. * My best freinds Guitar Hero World Tour's band name is "Cheeze 4 Dinah" While mine is "Mr.Bungle and his Amazing Friends!" * This troper was reading random articles and she came across 'Perverse Sexual Lust', which I think would be a great name for a rock band. * I think that, in the [[MemeticMutation style of the meme,]] "[[AllYourBaseAreBelongToUs All Your Base]]" would be a great band name. ** Or perhaps All Your [[IncrediblyLamePun Bass?]] *** You stole my idea! * I just rewatched an episode of BeastWars, and decided "Scanning For Lifeforms" would be a good one. * Playing around with F-Zero GX's vehicle customizer, Super Cancer seemed like a good one. Also randomly thought up Catholischism * If I had been musically inclined, you'd be seeing either a punk band called "Happy little pills" or a metal band called "Ground Beef", with titles reflecting said material for their albums... * I named my band in GuitarHero "Moar Dakka" thanks to this very wiki. It just sounded like, well, a good name for a rock band. * Someone I know was in a band who eventually decided to call themselves "Daughter Nowhere." A close second in the naming stakes? Spontaneous Zebra Death, named for a comment when watching the scene in TheLionKing where all the animals bow down... ** I also constantly do this with random phrases. My current favourite? [[AClockworkOrange Horrorshow Groodies]]. * I came up with The Afternoon Wristwatch paraphrased from a Cymbals Eat Guitars song ("Wind Phoenix" to be specific, where the phrase is "afternoon's wristwatch") and The Slow Steady Choppers from "Broken Heartbeats Sound Like Breakbeats" by Los Campesinos!. * My uncle once commented on metal band names and said that the most straightforward name for a metal band would simply be "''[[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Violence]]''". ** This same troper has a couple of RockBand bands made up of characters from other games. The two that currently exist are "''72 Hour Mode''" the ''DeadRising'' band, and, since every variation of

"''Would you Kindly''" was taken, the ''{{Bioshock}}'' band gets the name "''With the Sweat Of Our Brow...''" * My band in Rock Band is called Primitive Screwheads. {{Army of Darkness}} is pretty much the best movie ever in Is eyes. Also, Unorthodox Kung Fu was noted as a good one by my friend while we where watching {{Story of Ricky}} * My friend threw darts at a list of medical conditions and then a list of body parts to come up with a [[RockBand Rock Band]] name. The result? Epileptic Elbows. * Seen at a club: An Earth, Wind & Fire cover band calling itself Water Heart. Clearly some Captain Planet fans among them. * Should anyone steal this name, I will track you down and chop off your genitals. If I and his friends ever get their band off the ground (and get a bassist who doesn't flake on us constantly), we shall be named Ghosts in the Machine. * I have found that any adjective followed by a noun makes for a good band name. My favorite? Dastardly Medicine ** Cheap Guarantee * A friend asked this troper what a good name for a band would be, and I answered that all the good ones were taken. We decided "All The Good Ones Are Taken" would indeed be a good band name. * This troper and his friends have come up with a bunch of weird names for their Rock Band bands. Including: "Hedgeclipper", "My Cheerleader Romance", "Devilish Toast", and, yes, "A Good Name For A Band". * You an {{xkcd}} fan? * While watching {{DeceasedCrab}}'s LetsPlay of ''Rockin' Kats'', I have decided Starfish For Eyes, Sing A Song Of Maces, and of course Clown Dog Showtime would make good band names. * While ordering at KFC, the words "Substitute Breast" leaped out at me. * I have also thought up many, many crazy names for use on Guitar Hero including: "the Grapefruit Messiahs", "Penguin Fossilizers", "Satan's Breakfast" and "Johnny and the Pogosticks" * This troper named his Guitar Hero band "Crisis Core," based on a certain artist's character's stomach. The name was then snatched up as a [[FinalFantasy good video game name]]. * This troper quite enjoys coming up with band names in their free time.. Their favourites too far are "Corpses from eBay", "Antifr33ze" and "Teh Arsehole Ducks!" (yes, that includes the exclamation mark). * This troper takes random shows he likes and replaces a word with another, better word. That's why are the "Estate of Awesome". * When someone broke into this troper's house and stole the game console, it was found that there is no way to recover the band names on that console--ever. You simply have to create a new band, and the bands that are on the stolen console essentially become the property of the thief who stole it, along with all the band members. Which is why this troper's new band is named "Crackholds Stole Our Band." * Some time ago, this troper and a friend decided, for the hell of it, to record covers of random songs that were part of our endless stack of inside jokes and send it to the other. The topic of a name for a band with both of us as vocalists came up, but we couldn't find anything awesome enough. That is, until another friend shared this

quote from a Harry Potter (it was after Dumbledore came out, if you must now) fanfic with me: ''Two hours later they were spanking each other with maniacal, gay glee.'' Needless to say, if we're ever able to ask for permission, we think "maniacal gay glee" would be AGoodNameForARockBand. * This troper and her siblings decided that if we ever formed a rock band, we'd call ourselves "Sheep on a vine". * If I had a rock band, it'd be named Weasel War Dance. * Mercury-Induced Highness is the name me and my friends use for our imaginary rock band; Also Green Tamales * My mother has suggested "Shreaking Fleece" as a name for his little brothers theoretical band. * After some frustrating adventures in getting rid of household rodents that could only be seen skittering around in the corner of one's vision, I decided that, whatever else happened as a result, Peripheral Mice would be a good name for a Radiohead-style band. * After seeing this page, I thought of random words and came up with Hydrogenated Blasphemy. * I enjoy one of my friend's ManosTheHandsOfFate tribute band idea, Torgo and the The Knees of Fate. * There are at least two episodes in the MazingerZ franchise named [[NeverTrustATrailer "Kouji Kabuto Dies In Lava!"]]. Insert the frontman's name instead of the Hero's name and you get (For example) John Smith Dies In Lava! * A friend was telling a story about a meth addict trying to give her a crystal pig, and someone initially thought she meant the ''pig'' was made out of crystal meth. Thus... Methpig. * This troper named her band in ''GuitarHero: World Tour'' "Man-AtWar" after a [[ClockworkCreature particularly awesome]] [[BestBossEver boss]] in ''{{Pikmin}}2''. * When the WebComic [[ Skin Horse]] first came out, I started making band names out of random lines taken from that day's strip. These included "Piecemeal Revenants On Medication", "Silverfish In Hats", "Then Again Again", "Crushed By Roses", "Apostles' Credenza", "Kawaii Cobra", "Crystal Shouting", "Crystal Paper Hats", and "Squish Amish". (More recently, I has given up band names for full-out [[FilkSong fucking]].) * I forget where I heard this from, but: "Chocolate Dice". Dunno what kind of band would use it, but it's abstract enough to work. * I, a history student, once wrote in an essay that "In 86 BC, Athens finally lost its political and military independence to [[ Sulla]] and the Romans." He commented to his lecturer and classmates that ''Sulla and the Romans'' might double as an '80s band name. After this, things got slightly [[ out of hand.]] * This often comes up during conversations with My friends. Highlights include Unarmored Gelatin, Square Root of a Pigeon, and Turn Based Movie. * @/MeganPhntmGrl mentioned her weekend plans to go to the mall and buy "a little plastic Adrian" (meaning an action figure of [[{{Watchmen}} Adrian Veidt/Ozymandias]]), and then immediately

realized that Plastic Adrian would be, well, AGoodNameForARockBand. * "We should start a Cure coverband and call ourselves 'The Disease!'" * ''Citizens For a Meg Griffin-Free America, Three Bloody Dice, The Knights of the Long Knives, Fusion-Bellerophon-609, the Hanging Scarecrows of Babylon, the Head Bang Gang, Look Out For Number One Hundred and Thirty Nine, the Plaid Gremlines, Yes I Know I Really Need A Girlfriend, Son of Sam I Am.'' This {{Bunny Ears Lawyer}} of a troper offers these names free of charge to any bands out there who are looking for a name. * "Headbanging Homework". It's pretty obvious where I got the idea from. * @/ZanderSchubert has been bored for the past few minutes, so here are some SCPFoundation inspired band-names: ''One-Ten Montauk'', ''The Antimeme'', ''The Eetmees'' (with their debut album, ''Tasty But Disturbing''), ''Original Cadaver'', and, of course, ''Data Expunged''. * [[@/{{Lurkerbunny}} I]] came up with "Listerine Monkey Trial". Think about it. * @/{{Excel-2009}}. I am going to start the DeathMetal band "The James A. Calwell III Children's Fund" if it's the last thing I do. * @/{{Skazka}} just read the [=ChildCare=] Action Project review of ''RockyHorrorPictureShow'' (laughing the entire time) and has decided that either "Raygun Murder" or "Adults In Underwear" would make rockin' band names. * With use of a random word generator: Jordanian Sur. Also, 'The Everyone'. Oh, and Steel Destroyer Captaincy would probably work, but that's reserved, and not for a band. * [[@/NotSoBadassLongcoat I]] invented "Gayfag [=McQueer=] and the Brokeback Cowboys" trying to find an appropriate term for something so epically stupid and facepalm-inducing that he quickly swept it deep into his subconscious. Would work pretty well for a parody country and western band in the vein of Boss Hoss. Only with more HoYay. Followed by "Badass [=McAwesome=] and the Tsundering Woobies". ** That and the phrase "Blitzkrieg - Reinventing The War" which sounds like a nonexistent album by an existing heavy metal band. * I love coming up with excessively long, ridiculously epic band names in the vein of "Trail of Dead" (well, their full name). So far, "One Thousand Burning Hands of the Iron-Masked God of Judgement Push Back the Army of the Unwilling Servants of Corruption" and "Here We Stand on a Hill of Ashes Watching While the Burning Cities Pour Out Their Miserable and Starving Into the Embrace of the Bloodied Plain, Waiting for a Chance at Redemption from our Sins" seem like the best efforts. * The Bearded Nuns * Came up with this one while talking to a customer: Amplifier of Mass Destruction. * @/{{Raekuul}} has a few here, not sure about originality, though: Silent Explosions; Sun Poisoning; Shryll Kryll; Linus A'ight Name; Shredded Tombstones; Chekhovian Snipers; Wildbomb/; Olav Skyfurrow and the Wildgeese... * @/{{Kaizykat}} has a friend who named his band in Guitar Hero "Spectral Evidence". While the name in itself isn't bad, the reference to ''The Crucible'' is just groan worthy to her and her friends.

* @/{{Twentington}} has a few. Piso Mojado. jPod. Tab A & Slot B. Boxer Shorts Rebellion. Purple Monkey Dishwasher. * Looking for his seat at a concert, @/MikeK suddenly realized the name of his seat itself sounded like a band name: Orchestra X-7. * Very complicated example, but so worth it: @/{{Das}} and his best friend have this as an in-joke regarding the Russian translation of HeroesOfMightAndMagic III. You know how when you right-click the stationary creatures, you can see the rough estimate of their numbers, i.e. "Lots", "Packs" and so on? For some strange reason, the Russian translation of "Pack" in this particular case was "Gruppa", i.e. "Group". Rock bands in Russia are called rock ''groups'', as in, "Gruppa "Mashina Vremenyi""/"The 'Time Machine" Group". And thanks to a grammatically-poor translation, all monsters that come in packs sound ''just like'' bizarre Fantasy-themed Russian rock groups. "The Ghost Dragons", anyone? "The Master Gremlins"? The list goes on. * I decided that if Kurt Wagner (Nightcrawler) of the X-men ever forms a rock band, it'll be called "Kurt and the Freaks of Nature". * This troper and his brother has decided that if he ever gets into a band they'll call it "We are not Paul [=McCartney=]." He has even come up with an album cover, basically consisting of two H's with one of them having a square moved out a bit. The album will be called "Your annoyed that the H is a bit off." ** I even thought of an album title, "The EP is not out yet", with the EP called "OK, now it is." * I once uttered the phrase, meant as an expression of rage, "gangrape the clouds". Would make such a brutal name for a death metal band. * [[@/JohnQuixote My]] Guitar Hero/Rock Band band name is always [[MetalWolfChaos The Fight House]]. * [[@/{{hrdcrnwo}} I]] was reading the examples on the StockScream page, when I came across one about James Bond characters screaming to their "gravity-assisted deaths". Gravity-Assisted Death is an amazing name. * [[@/{{Kalle}} I]] ''desperately'' want to start a band called [[{{Touhou}} The Mastersparks.]] * My brother's band was mistakenly called [[{{PointlessWasteOfTime}} 'Waste of Time']] during a school gig. Their actual name was 'Too Much Time', but I think both are a good name for a rock band. * Extended Drum Solo. That is all. * [[@/{{nine}} this guy]] remembers the phrase "Plastic Shakespeare" for no other reason than this. * The Human Leg. It came about due to a memorable slip-up when trying to refer to the band The Human ''League''. Somewhat related: The Human Shirt, which is from a line from the spoof DVDCommentary for The Coen Brothers' ''Blood Simple''. * Interesting Anatomy. I was talking to a friend on the bus, and the phrase came up. * FROTH * I was reading an article about wacky collective nouns for various animals on a [[ well-known comedy website]], when he was inspired to form a rockband called "A Congregation of Alligators" * I was watching the Invader Zim episode "Dark Harvest" when I started

thinking "that sounds almost like a name good enough for a brutal death metal band". Out of that, I changed it a little to "Organ Harvest", which is basically what the episode was about. * My uncle was in a band called Joey's Dead. They were called that because they were kind of a 70's punk revival band (it's a reference to the death of Joey Ramone). I actually like that name a lot, so I've decided that if I ever have a band it will be called either Ian's Dead (for Ian Curtis) or Cliff Is Dead (for Cliff Burton). ** Or Paul is Dead (Beatles) * [[ Happy Falker Satherhood]]. ** It's like a word journey! (Which would also be AGoodNameForARockBand...) * Flying Asians * My hypothetical indie band is called Midway House (discovered through the Wikipedia game mentioned above. I also think [[ The Vile Bodies]] has an interesting ring to it... * This troper and her sister do this for fun sometimes. Current favorite (which ''will'' be My band name if she's ever in one) is ''hotwithoutfire'', named from an Ellen [=DeGeneres=] bit. She's also fond of ''Ace In The Hole'' and ''La.Di.Da'' (which is usually her Guitar Hero band name) Her sister's favorite is ''Rodent Spider'', named for a question posed by our CloudCuckoolander younger sister while trying to finish a crossword puzzle. A couple of said troper's friends expressed their Guitar Hero rivalry with their band names-''I'm Better Than You'' vs. ''STFU''. * While writing about how my Narnia fanfiction was going - 'Susan and the Pevensies - hey, that would make a good band name!' * [[@/{{SquirrelyMalk}} My]] little brother once made a band called ''The Flaming Asparagus''. A friend of mine and I wrote a song for them called ''The Lone Tomato''. Sadly, he was around 12, so his band lasted all of 3 weeks. He never did make music to that song. Also, ''Kumquats from Space'', ''Ginger Hell'', and ''Installed Tones''. * I used the random phrase generator and got such gems as: Ahem! Bagatelle (exclamation point added because it makes it more awesome), Diffidently Unconsidered, Gainfully Spiky, Problematically Moonstruck, and Princely Backstage Magnificence. Hitting the Random Article button on Wikipedia achieved: Drol, Defalcation Unit, Hyperolius Rubrovermiculatus, List of Asteroids, Logan County, and Chad (as well as their number one hit song, "When Holes Are Made In Paper") * [[@/{{Bookhobbit}} My ]] efforts with a word generator in attempt to find a fake band name for a pixel doll resulted in Guilt Kit, Mental Prejudice, Suspected Upgrade, Polyphonic Woe, and Ow! Premed. The Random Article button resulted in: QV.1, Living Tommorow, National Language Authority, Suipacha Partido, Oyashirazu Station, and Weingarten Function. She also has Postmortem Publishers, The Metahuman Psycopaths, and Your Growing Independence as possible names. The one she eventually went with was Ow! Premed. Their logo is an anotomical heart with a valentine heart superimposed on it. * This troper is in a fake nerdcore band with her two best friends called The Angry British Atheists. We wear black suits and black

sunglasses, and our first single off of our debut album ''Venetian Elevator Ride'' is called "Chinga Tu Madre". We're really cool. * I fell in love with the name London Dispersion Forces, a chemistry term for temporary, environmentally influenced polarity among molecules. He then promised his teacher that if he ever formed a band, that would be the name of it. * 42mm. As in, 42 millimeter. Impossibly large caliber + 42 = Success? Currently the name of my imaginary band, and I'm making a logo for a T-Shirt. I'm thinking the front could be a pistol with a spent clip, and maybe wrap a flower around the trigger guard or something. The back is "42" with overlapping MM in the backround. * Narcissus, Igneus In Abyss. Not conjugated, I think, but it's Latin for "Narcissus, Burning In Hell." * @/NinjaMoogle's Rock Band band? "Minor Emergency", a ShoutOut to both Minor Threat and the office of the physician that told me a few years ago my appendix almost ruptured... meaning I almost died. He has an idea for another band, inspired by his Buddy Holly-looking CreateA-Guitarist and Austin-based psychobilly getup the Flametrick Subs: "Jacky Shakes and the Parkinsons". Yeah, I'm so going to hell. * There's a little swimming pool store that also sells pool toys, and they have, among other things, rubber ducks with drumsticks, guitars, etc. One day I went in and they had a band of them- two guitarists, a singer, and a drummer. The name they put above it? [[AGoodNameForARockBand Diatomaceous Earth]]. (Sounds pretty good if you don't get the joke.) * I will someday put a Weird Al or [=DaVinci's=] Notebook type act in a story and call them Beans Beans the Musical Fruit. And would truly love to see a band called Neutron Flow, with Reverse the Polarity -of course- being their first album. Ditto Castle Heterodyne as a steampunk band, with For Science! as their first release. * Fooling around with a random word generator, I got these adjectivenoun format potential band names: ** Nonexplosive Goodness ** The Godforsaken Tanks ** The Wireless Spirits ** Cannibalistic Wizardry ** The Masochistic Hoodlums * From the IRC: ** Fuckface Destructimus ** Rapeocalypse ** Immolated Balls ** The Giant-Size Man-Things ** Sexy Pants Dancer ** Sean Connery The Pope ** Assrape Machine ** Tits On Fire ** [[MemeticMolester SPACE RAPE MACHINE]] ** Pile Of Fetuses ** Copious Pillows ** [[MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail The Knights who Say Ni]] ** Racism ** Nevermind the Squick

** Human Hotdogs ** Transistor ** Mongoose Blood Transfusion ** Violet Supremium ** Minecraft Hell ** Roast For Eternity ** Kid Dracula ** Ninja Witch Coven ** Murderous Death Squad ** Hitlerfist *** You have a twisted mind, you know that? ** LION-HEAD SUPERMAN *** Of the above, @/EponymousKid would like it to be known that he contributed Mongoose Blood Transfusion, Violet Supremium, Kid Dracula, Ninja Witch Coven, Hitlerfist, and Lion-Head Superman. He was talking about a really weird comic book he had been reading which included all of those things except the first two. Which are also comic references. **** That said, I can't stress this enough - there's a comic featuring Kid Dracula, a Ninja Witch coven/murderous death squad, Hitlerfist, and Lion-Head Superman. It's called ''Monster Plus''. You're welcome. * I have a friend who came up with "Don't Forget The Barbed Wire" during an odd conversation at work. * Mash-Button Doodyheads. We consist of two electric pianos and a glockenspiel. * This Shakespeare-loving troper has long been fond of ''Zombie Hotspur.'' * In high school, I had friends who wanted to start a band called Ten Minutes Late. You can guess what their schtick was going to be. * I once subscribed to the magazine "Popular Reality". Also, mail with return addresses for "The Out-of-Control Data Institute" and "The Arizona School of Mirrors". * If there isn't already a band called ''Frumious Bandersnatch,'' there jolly well ''should'' be. * I have an almost-kinda-maybe-someday band called the Snarkleeple. That's a combination of "Snarklings" and "Sheeple". Our former names include Mutant Goldfish, The Cyclops and the Octopus, and (My personal favorite) Saucy Monkey and the Nasally Transmitted Disesase. * A coworker of mine made them out of her campers: "Maddy, Addy, and the Allisons" and "Tara, Sara and the Caitlins". * My dad thought up a good one - Hemi Demi and the Semiquavers, based off of the name of a sixty-fourth note in musical notation. * @/{{Xaris}} has two bands in RockBand. The first one is called [[{{Fallout}} Tesla Cannon]] and is SteamPunk themed. The other is called Oxy Clean and the vocalist is modeled after BillyMays. * This troper once described himself on a chat room as an "Excessively Sarcastic Adolescent". Everyone on the chat, including me, immediately commented on how great a name for a band that would be. * I once read a book on cryptids where one of them was a creature called the goatman; the chapter name of his section was "Goatman and the Grunches". Grunches never showed up in the chapter for some reason, but I always thought that would make a good name for a rock band. Of course, I'm not musically inclinded in the least...

* The Ineffective Reframing * The Physical Challenge meets The Spastics * No Live Performance aka Neuro Leptic Palsy aka The Neurotic Labial Pussies aka Non Lesbian Polyhymniacs * Respect The Cock * Tame The Pussy * [[@/MisterAlways Here's some:]] ** Chainsaw Death Duel ** [[NoMoreHeroes Laser Codpiece]] ** Electric Outlet ** Disaestro Maestro ** We Fight Dinosaurs ** Van and the Helsings ** In that same vein, Steampowered Crossbow * Black Hat Sociopath - from {{xkcd}}, of course. * Slightly adapted from part of an FYE mailing list email heading, of all things: '''Heroes And Housewives''' (they were of course advertising a sale on seasons of [[ Heroes]] and DesperateHousewives on DVD). ** I think that sounds more like a bad superhero Tabletop RPG. * Sox By Shoe. Thank you, Shawni. * Was listening to a podcast once, discussing old Star Trek episodes and it hit me, "Don't Mock Space Lincoln!" * Two years ago in a Psychology class at Temple U, our professor made a note about "Pavlov and the salivating dogs". Promptly received a LampshadeHanging in lieu of the fact that the professor noted this himself. I have since filed this away up here. * points to head* (Not that I'll ever form a rock band.) ** Somewhat similarly, I once had a world history teacher say this about the chapter heading Lenin And The Bolsheviks. * What about Potential Weapon? * Few days ago at the local fast food place me and my dad decided that "The Subtitles" would be a pretty good name. Then again, before that I was thinking "Condiment Packet"... * I once read a {{New Gods}} comic with the line "Parademons rising from lord Darkseid's firepits" and still thinks that would be a good name for a death metal band. * Deathstroke and the Terminators, Guy Gardner and the Warriors, Jason Todd and the Crowbars, Otto and the Tentacles, Kitty Pryde and the Shadowcats (That one turned out to be an actual band.) * 1965 Is Not An Ocean. Someone playing trivia on SecondLife misread the question "what ocean did the Titanic sink in?" and would have been pretty off even if they were asking for a year anyway, and so was playfully made fun of in that manner. Maybe too long as a band name, but it should be a song, an album, something... * Siege Machine. That's all I have to say. * Bread and Circuses. Tropers/RedWren has also spent most of her Driver's Ed class making these up, but she won't bore you with the three pages of that. * I tend to scrawl random phrases in the margins of notebooks during boring classes. From these, I have gleaned;

** The Fellow Travelers ** Comedy Divine ** Apocalypse Someday ** Mostly Knaves ** Come to think of it, The Random Scrawlings isn't too bad either... * Although it comes from a most chuckleworthy Fry and Laurie sketch concerning "light metal", "The Bishop and the Warlord" is a legitimately good name for a band. * I am surprised that there isn't a band named [[MysteryScienceTheater3000 Joel and the Bots]]. Or Mike and the Bots, whichever works. * While this troper was describing his madness to someone else, he suddenly realized that a phrase he'd used, "[My] Unadulterated Insanity," would be a good name for a band. * On the 14 Oct. 2009 MythBusters episode "[[DuctTapeForEverything Duct Tape]] Special," Kari Byron mentioned that their new [[RefugeInAudacity duct tape cannon]] would be added to their "Arsenal of Absurdity." I (MutantRancor) immediately thought "[[AGoodNameForARockBand Hey, that would be....]]" ** I also just thought up "Ampersand," perhaps to be spelled "Amper?" or "Ampers&" ** Or perhaps "Ampers and the Unnecessary Add-ons"? *** "Duct Tape Special" is also cool. Called it. * If this troper and her friends ever somehow acquire musical talent, we have sworn to start a band called [[DeathNote Mello and the Mafia]], just because we want to use that name. * Against Doors. I was on the train, the doors said "do not lean against doors" across them, but were only closed on the right side, so... * Listening to the ODST soundtrack, I think that ''Deference For Darkness'' would be a good name for a rock band. * My friends somehow came to the conclusion that "Deaf Wookies" would be a great name for a rock band when they were in high school. Not too long after we graduated, a younger class made a video about a day in the life of the (still fictional, sadly) band. * for GuitarHero / RockBand, My band is known as ''Carbon Copy'', cos all we ever do is copy other peoples songs played with the same performance on stage no matter where we play. * I had a conversation where something completely random was referred to as "sweet." This, not making any sense after all, garnered the response "Sweet how?" the answer? Sweet like tacos. Wouldn't Sweet Like Tacos be a great band name? In addition my real life band is called 3 White Guys and a Filipino. Guess why? * After watching [[ this review]] I must conclude that "Satan's Ringtone" would be an ''awesome'' name for a rock band. * Dugong Duplex. * I was just inspired by the phrase Volunteer Vagina, as written by a professor who [[ p blogged]] about receiving an anonymous gift of disposable vagina speculums.

* There's a {{narm}}y anti-drug commercial featuring a boy in a school cafeteria cheerfully describing for the viewer (or maybe a friend that the camera represents) all the different pills he got out of his family's medicine cabinet, concluding with "and this one is for the ''pain'' ...of my last hip replacement". Any attempt to warn me about the dangers of unsecured prescription medicine was totally drowned out by the thought of what a perfect name for an emo band or album "This One is For the Pain" would make. * Does anyone else think AGoodNameForARockBand would be a good name for a rock band? No? ** No. *** My sister did. But then, she's retarded. * slap* I'm sorry, I mean a politically correct term identifying someone who isn't technically retarded, but still an idiot. ** Only if it's put down as [A Good Name For A Rock Band]. Anyway, [AGNFARB] would be better. *** That sounds almost... Scandinavian. Like ''Häagen [[strike:Dazs]] Varb'' or [[GratuitousGerman something]]. It sounds like an [[LoveItOrHateIt awesome/stupid/awesomely stupid/stupidly awesome]] name, but it's too similar to {{AFGNCAAP}}. **** Or [[ThoseWackyNazis IG Farben]]. * I was playing outside with my two-year-old sister one day, and she asked me to draw an elephant for her with sidewalk chalk. After I had drawn several for her, she ran around on the drawings. I said, "Oh, are you walking on elephants?" Then I said to myself, "That would make an excellent name for a rock band." Walking on Elephants, I mean. Not the whole phrase. * Pink Hello Kitty Laptop. Google it. * This troper was told by his teacher that his name, Marcelo, was a great name not for a rock band but for a musician. He immediately made a note to come to the school library and edit this page. * Due to a lyric in Big Dipper's "Lou Gherig's Disease", I've decided Fatal Malaise would be a good band name. * Inspired by a recent AllFleshMustBeEaten campaign set in the Middle East, [[@/HouraiRabbit My]] group came up with Underground Zombie Helicopters. * I want to name a rock band, '[[{{Primeval}} James Lester]] [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Fights The]] [[ Neural Clamped Future Predator]].' * If I ever forms a band, I'll call it "Roslin's Wig". * This troper has several that both he and others thought up... ** His chemistry teacher in high school mentions every year that she thinks [=LD50=] would be a good name for a rock band. ** A friend of his says that if he ever forms a band, he will call it the Flaming Aardvarks. I get the feeling the poor guy never heard of the Flaming Lips... ** While describing his air raid siren interest and the online siren community to a pair of friends, this troper (yes, we're still talking about the same person here) smugly declared "...and no one has applied Rule 34 to sirens yet!". Whereupon the friends commented that Siren 34 would make an awfully good name for a rock band.

** Here's one for all the PumpkinScissors fans: In My Intro to Psych class is an exceptionally small (for a college freshman) girl who looks very much like Stecchin. Said troper (yes, ''still'' the same person, I promise, this is the last one!) had a moment of inspiration that Dead Ringer for Stecchin would be a decent if not great name for a rock band. Basically in the same way Death Cab for Cutie is an effective name. Unless you think it isn't. * "Festival of the Oppressed" would be a great name for some kind of Marxist metal band. * This troper was reading a babysitting manual and thought, 'Hey, "Kids Eating Glue" would just be a bitchin' name...' She tried to convince her friends-in-a-band to adopt the name, but no luck thus far. * @/HappyFork, upon reviewing his history notes, came to the conclusion that "Mu'awiya and the Umayyans" would be a delightful name for a rock band. ** Also one day when this troper (same person) was talking to himself (as he tends to do), he came to the conclusion that "half the stuff people say would make a great name for a band" which led to the obvious conclusion of "'Half the Stuff People Say' would make a great name for a band" * I would name my band [[ProblemSleuth "Sepulchritude"]], and their first album would be titled ''[[ Righteous Aggression.]]'' * My mom is a computer system engineer and she works from home. During one of her "online conferences", my dad heard mention of "malicious traffic", and claim it sound like a name for a band. We actually named our band this in the Rock Band video game. * I had a weird experience one day: I had a coworker who had scoliosis, necessitating arm-mounted crutches for him to be mobile. Anyways, I was on my way from the bathroom, and he was approaching the bathroom. The area we were walking through was very narrow, and I realized that I wouldn't be able to get past him without it being funky, but(!) if I cart-wheeled past him (I'm rather athletic), then I'd be able to get past him with ease. His name was Travis, and the words "Cartwheeling past Travis" just sounded like a divine band name. ** Later, when I brought this up to my brother, he mentioned that a good band symbol would be the Da Vinci man on his side as though he was cartwheeling. I imagine this is how most band names come into existence. * There's an entry in SpecialEffectsFailure mentioning a villain in the Tim Burton ''Planet Of The Apes'' remake waving a gun around "in a bad monkey fashion". The last three words of that phrase have potential as a band name. * And from the TroperIRCChannel: --><@/GodotIsWaiting4U> tsearch vertical meat pistol --><@/{{Yuugi}}> "Sounds like a good name for a band" --><@/{{Caphi}}> I assure you it does not * I have come up with "Marie Curium and the Lanthanides", suitable for a heavy metal band with a female member. * @/VerilySheWrote named the band in her Guitar Hero: On Tour game

"The Stims and Dims". Good for a band that varies between catchy rock melodies and slow sad songs with a lot of bass. * My friends were serenading teachers at the school picnic. One of the lines in the serenade was about some guys that had wandered into the picnic. "Look at those guys over there / They may be pedophiles." Then we decided that They May Be Pedophiles isn't such a bad name for a band. xd * My little brother likes the band name "Troll Bridge" and wishes for the first song to be called "Billy Goats Gruff". * This is a RunningGag with I and one of her friends. Their two best ones so far are Impending Futon and Unexpected Ohio. * @/{{Emmens}} says 'dildo a go go' might be {{agoodnameforarockband}} as 'does godzila a go go....' and now the tropers fairly sure you could put the words 'a go go' to any word and it would be a {{agoodnameforarockband}} and astro park might be a good name for a punk band * I named my "Rock Band" band "Vote Quimby" and a year later still finds it clever. * My older (male) cousin evidently though a good name for our band in RockBand would be ''The Pandas''. I still think [[{{Metalocalypse}} Thunderhorse]] would have been better. * This troper and her friends have gone through many band names, including The Psychadelic Pickles, Painfully Itchy, and Wednesdays Hate You. Personally I think The Enamel Coatings has potential. * I have a few: Fishcorn Bushes (named after a bit in HomestarRunner), The Penile Replacements, Eye of the Storm, Gallows, and We Couldn't Come Up With A Good Name. * @/{{Miso}} called her band in GuitarHero: World Tour "Zombie Prince". * I used to be in a band called Private Justice (I don't remember how I came up with that name). A band that my friend and I never got off the ground was going to be called Riot Squad, I eventually used the name in Rock Band. A friend of mine once came up with [=UltraMegaCrude=] (the name being taken from Ultra violet light, Megadeth and Crude oil... and it's a really long story as to why he was thinking of all three of those things at once). I also once was a roadie for a band called Antidote (we always thought it would be funny if they ever hit it big to tour with Poison). I also have some computer discs that are just labeled "Random Stuff" and figured if not a band name at least the name for an album. * @/{{fishsicles}} remains convinced that Furious Rabbitkrieg! (! is mandatory) would be an excellent name for a band. * There is a country in the Carribean called St. Vincent and the Grenadines. Come on, it just ''screams'' "Name a band after me". * If I ever form a band I'm calling it "Shytt BAZOOKA" (BAZOOKA needs to be in all caps and block letters) after the fake band my dad and his friend made up to get people to think a fake band was playing at a bar on a night that no one was booked. * Heres a list of good names I know are taken by local bands: Stoned Green and the Hippy Bombs, Ballzooka, Veins Daily (named after, Layne Staley, the late singer of Alice in Chains),Care Bear Massacre, and Lithium ID.

* I invented this name just a moment ago when he went downstairs to talk to his sister: The Cavorting Beasties, with their first ablum being 'Under the Microscope' ** others he invented while looking at this page: *** The Redshirts *** Lifeforms Detected *** Potential for Weaponizing *** And as the final evolution of adding an umlaut to your band name, Ü ** returning to update with more names: *** Samurai Preist *** Nuclear Gold, *** The Hit and Run Crew *** Distant Survivors *** Getting Cr** Past The Radar (when questioned we would always state that it stood for Crud, [[{{GettingCrapPastTheRadar}} for obvious reasons]] ) *** The List, or possibly On The List *** The Superheroes, with their first album being 'Making a Dramatic Entrance *** Innuendo, with the first album being 'If You Know What I Mean' * MutantRancor here. I've been writing down every good name I think of or come across for a couple of months now, but sine I have no real musical talent I thought I'd put them here so someone, somewhere might use them. More to be added as I think of them. ** Arsenal of Absurdity ** Ampers& ** Inter•punct ** Interrobang&#8253; ** The Zed ** Maze of Insanity ** Down In Flames ** Red Alert ** [[InsaneTrollLogic Flawed Logic]] ** Crispy Fried ** Wild Human Preserve ** Gorilla City ** Unnecesary Ümlaut ** Chained Thunder ** Here Comes Chaos ** Shattered Stone ** Apogee ** Crash and Burn ** Instant Gore ** Obscurity ** Cryptic Rhyme ** Slave to the Machine ** BadFuture ** The Minstrels ** Delusions of Grandeur ** Distant Present ** [[ObfuscatingStupidity Obfuscation]]

** The Minor Deities ** Ghost of the Monster ** Pain and Healing ** The Forgotten ** Obstacle Course ** [[LetsPlay Boatmurdered]] ** [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Day of Black Sun]] ** [[AvatarTheLastAirbender Nightmares and Daydreams]] ** Insanity Factor ** Event Horizon ** No Pun Intended ** Batteries Not Included ** Perhelion ** Brain Therapy * I used to have a satellite radio in his car that always said 'acquiring signal' when it went in parking garages. Acquiring Signal sounds like a good name for a rock band * From the [[ Buffy animated series pilot]], this troper and her brother have gotten 3 names: "Followers of Morgala," "We're Having An Apocalypse," and "Panicking Out Loud." * @/TallibearI had the idea of Currently Stands For, or 'CFS', just so that very album released would then have a three word title that began with the letters C, F, and S. * In medieval times, an army commander named Timur the Lame lit some camels on fire and drove them towards the elephants of the opposing army in order to freak them out. These camels became known as the "Roaring Camels of Fire". Or for a slightly longer band name, "Timur the Lame and the Roaring Camels of Fire". * My brother loves the thought of 'The Rock Spiders' as a band name, complete with UnfortunateImplications. * [[ Crayon Baronz]] (with or without XtremeKoolLetterz). As a commenter pointed out, it ''also'' sort of sounds like some sort of vicious preschool gang. * While watching Dennis' sociological rant in ''MontyPythonAndTheHolyGrail'', I decided Watery Tart would be an awesome band name. * I was watching [[Superhjältejul A Super Hero Christmas]] (Again. For about the fourth time. ...because, ''dammit'', if only one person loves it then I will give it all the love it deserves), thinking for a moment about how odd it was that the superheroine would just up and explode and turn green. "Superheroine, Explode and Turn Green" would be AGoodNameForARockBand. After this, I found that it was simple to be inspired to create rock band names just from the show, and got one out of each of the villains. I came up with "Toppling Card Towers/Museum of Card Houses", "Rearrange The Alphabet", "Disgusting Animals", "No Music", "The Same As Everyone Else", "Constantly Falling Over", "I Club To That", "Tractor Sweater Vest", "Made Of Steel", "Move Things (With Your Mind)", "We ''can'' Fly (We Just Can't Land)", "If My Grandkids Were Here", "Silver and Steel", "Mysterious Gingerbread House", "Planet of Christmas", "(The Password Is) Santa Claus", "The

Book Of Heroic Deeds (Is Finished)", "E-V-EE-L", and "Permanent Meeting Table". This show is very good inspiration. * "Cranberry Driveway", "Discretion Ill-Advised", "Your Dad Naked", "Inappropriation", "Malignant Tuber", "Majestic Flight of the Emu", "Pupate", "The All-Gay Rap Group", "Vibrating Uvula", "Vintage Chablis", "Bag of Dicks", and "Public Display of Aggression" * I sometimes have this, but most of the time it's "That would make a good book title" or "arc word" or "phrase in a story" or "image idea". ** share some then, please. they might be interesting * I have "[[StarWars Wretched Hive]]", "Terrorist Fist Jab" and "The Pertinent Particulars". * How about Electric Sodomy? * Slightly different, but I belong to a 'non-musical rock band' called Zombie Army Under the Sea, and have been quitely appropriating catchy titles for songs that we won't make for years. The best of these is probably 'Necrotic Erection (of Agony)', a future death-metal-folkcomedy-crossover-parody. You say it just like it's spelled, too'necrotic erection open parenthesis of agony close parenthesis'. Alas, its origins have been lost to the ages. * [[@/{{Axelsonfire}} I]] created a fictional OC band with the name Absolutely Nothing. A Good Name For A Band? Yes, because if someone asks you what you're listening to, you can reply "Absolutely Nothing". * I was having a talk with a friend once, and her and I agreed "that one band" would be a great name for a band. Fittingly, we started a band called That One Band a couple years later. * I have "The Dry Heaves" and "Suck Monkeys." Better for punk bands than anything, but still... * Crayfish Party. That is all. * I thought that "No-one Knows" would make a good band name, and "It's a mystery" as one of their song. Just for the confusion when someone asks what you're listening to. * I was playing Tekken 6 while fighting bears in the Story Mode, and I just came up with the band name "Beating Up Bears" which is now used as my brother's Rock Band rock band name. * I have some: Bolts of Steel, Chain of Sorrows, Dead on the Alive, Phlebotomy, Sacred Silence, Raven Way, and several more. * My teacher has a wall for students to post bandnames they happen to think of. The teacher also says if he was in a band, it would be called "The Framers of the Constitution" and their first album would be called "The Bill of Rights". Oddly enough, he's not a history teacher. ** I (a different one) have all the songs for the first album, too! *** Establishment Clause *** Bear Arms *** Quartering *** Search And Seizure *** Double Jeopardy *** Confrontation Clause *** Trial By Jury *** Excessive Bail *** Rights Not Specifically Enumerated *** Powers Of State And People

**** Awesome, right? * I watched the sunrise while it was quite overcast and there was still occasional thunder and lightning, and my friends agreed that "Thunder at Sunrise" would be a good name for a rock band. * This troper and her mother watched her cat go mad over a box of Valerian tea bags and she nicknamed it "Valerian Kitty Crack" which her mum agreed would be a good name for a band. * Crusty Magicians. The phrase came up while some friends were discussing [[ The Magic Castle]]. * After watching the Phoenix Wright Boot to the Head video one too many times, I came up with a name that my friends agreed would be epic for a band: Another One For The Wimp. * In science class, I learned that absolute zero is the state in which all particle movement stops. I recently noted that Absolute Zero would be a good name for a rock band. * I've got two; The first comes from watching the music video for Rock DJ: Lesbian Zombie-Vampire Skate Rink, and the other is from getting like, three stars on Guitar Hero 6 while playing with mom, even though we hit almost all the notes and abused the star power: Aced At Zero. * Carthestian here. My brother came up with 'Jackson and the Basement Boys', which was funny but tasteless. Maxwell's Demon. Good name for a rock band, right? It comes from the theory of thermodynamics and a thought experiment related to it. Hm. Maybe I shouldn't have explained it, it lacks some appeal that way ^^ * My Guitar Hero II and V bands are, respectively, Dethsnorkel and The Black Lüngs. * Dead By Your Hand sounds {{Badass}}. * [[@/{{cheeseypoofs}} my]] dad thinks up random names for rock bands, looks them up, and finds out they're taken. * I follow professional magician Michael Kent on Twitter, and I would like to present his suggestion of "Octopus Formality," taken from a Korean restaurant poster translated into bad English. * [[@/{{MiraShio}} Mira-chan]] knows someone whose birthday is on the fourth of November. Since she doesn't care [[FourIsDeath what the Japanese connotation is]], she has decided that November Death is an awesome band name. * I feel that a number of the trope names on this very site would make good band names, such as [[MagnificentBastard The Magnificent Bastards]], The XanatosGambit, or CreatorBreakdown. ** Magnificent Bastards has already been taken, sadly - by a shortlived Scott Weiland side-project. *** How about [[ShapedLikeItself A Good Name For A Rock Band?]] * I know of a band called "Chewy and the Dinosaur King". I also get rock band names from everyday (usually misheard) conversations. Examples (so far) include: ** Hardcore or Hush ** Fiery Jizz Hellstorm ** Electric Carrots ** Swamp Mice ** Tree Rats [[spoiler: or squirrels]] * A few more: ** Sword of Metal (Power Metal / Heavy Mithril)

** Lucifer's Day Out (Black Metal) ** The Söul Farmers (Death Metal) ** Rage of a Beast (Punk) ** The Pus Valves (Grindcore) ** Sockdologizing Man-Trap (Death Metal with themes from 19th century American history) * The Electric Jaguar, Dead Man Ives, Grass Don't Grow, and Foreverheart. All random words that my mind put together after using the can, shortly after reading this trope. I thank my bizarre Englishmajor brain. * Three words: Fully Loaded Battleaxe * Three more words (from a different troper): {{Murder the Hypotenuse}} * From a conversation with my cousin, I was able to come up with: Multicolored Bullshit. * Coined in [[WorldofWarcraft Halls of Reflection]] when we were crowded into the corner and a comment was made that the paladin's hair smelled like fruit. Strawberry Mosh Pit. I'm seeing some unholy union between J-pop and heavy metal... * When [[@/MikeK I]] first started working at a grocery store, I had to put something in my supervisors' mailbox; While looking for her name, I noticed they were all listed by department and first name, including Frozen Lisa, which struck me as a fairly good band name. Although maybe that just stood out more because every other label read more like a VerbingNouny film title, if anything. * In 2001, when [[@/{{tenderlumpling}} I, tenderlumpling,]] had yet to have my eyeballs sucked from their sockets by this site, I joined [] and befriended someone whose diary was titled "Flights of Devils". Five years later, Flights of Devils is the name of the band a character in one of my stories is a member of. And you gotta admit, it is a pretty kick-ass name for a band... * I just got RockBand 2, and out of sheer Uncreativity, I named the band "Mani DK" which of course means "Man, IDK" but then my dad said it sounded like "Man-eating cake (or is it Man, Eating Cake?)", which is waaaay better. * Steampunk Jedi and The Drunken Badger Incident. Two Names. ** Reading a [[ bizarre client request]] brought to mind Steampunk Breakfast. Same rhythm, but InherentlyFunnyWord ahoy! * Mutual Confession. Though based on a happy event in My life, by the sounds of it, the music would probably be soppy enough to drive her insane. * From Tenacious D, I thinks that "Electric Dynamite" would be the greatest name for a rock band EVER. * I got "Death Code Static" from a particularly silly English paper I was editing and haven't looked back. My friend likes "Punk Muffin", however. * I, while having normal conversations will often end up going on a rant that will end up with crazy epileptic trees. One such conversation with his friend ended up with me saying "Jesus was a Dinosaur!. His friends brother immediately said that it would be a

good name for a band. * Kulture here, Came up with the name "Dr Rocktapus", friends thought it was decent. * A little meta here; I have used ''Lumbar Puncture'' since [[ Polite Dissent]] taught him that the procedure's often referred to as the [[ThisIsSpinalTap spinal tap]]. I also got ''Awesome Soup'' out of RB's random name generator. * I was once on a field trip, and we were wearing our club tee-shirts underneath our school uniform shirts, so I was on the bus sitting next to a male friend looking at the tag on the school shirt, and turned to the friend and [[RuleofFunny jokingly said, "That would be a great band name,"]] while pointing to some factory code or something that was just a large slur of numbers and letters. * I desperately want to one day sing lead in a band called The Bazingas. * This troper had a skin rash on her arm one day, she explained to her friends that it happens due to being exposed to cold weather, they made fun of it by saying Cold Weather was a rock band she went to see last night and got the rash from the concert, she played along and realized Cold Weather would be a good name for a rock band(if it isnt taken) also the same troper got the idea for a punk band name while drawing a wicked looking spider, the name, Spyder. * @/JakeWasHere was actually in a short-lived comedy rock group called '''Buster Beckett''' -- named after a silent-film actor and a playwright picked by the two founding members. He has since thought of other names he could use for a future endeavor -- Bit Hark; Youknowho; [[RedZoneCuba My Last Smoke Is A Menthol]]; [[SamuelBeckett Hamm and Clov]]; Crossed Words; Vincenzo [=MacGoldberg=] and the Stark Naked Conmen... He's also considered started a Yello cover band called Wred. ** He also likes the idea proposed on of starting a metal band called (Seeking Female Keyboardist), complete with parentheses, for the purpose of making whoever's booked right above you at a gig sound like a bunch of wusses. *** TONIGHT: *** SLAYER *** (SEEKING FEMALE KEYBOARDIST) * [[@/TheHeroHartmut My]] uncle was actually in a smalltime band called 'The Epileptic Doormice' in his youth. In addition, he came across another example of what cold potentially be another interesting band name from the forum he frequents: 'Scott Cee and the Lesbians'. * [[ Chanticleer Hegemony]]. Actually, PCP Station itself could work as one. ** From some of the poorly translated instructions to the game, there's also Big Hank Cyclone. Although that might actually be a better name for a professional wrestler with a country music gimmick. * I found a good name for either a rock band, or its first album (can't decide), in one of the chapter titles of his Mathematics textbook: "Functions, Relations and Transformations". * I was watching Fellowship of the Ring with his friends last night. At one point Gandalf exclaims, "Bilbo Baggins, do not confuse me with some conjurer of cheap tricks!" I mentioned that "Cheap Trick" would be a good name for a rock band. One of my friends said, "I think that

one's already take--", saw the grin on my face, and threw a pillow at me. * [[ScienceMarchesOn "Monkey Controls Robotic Arm"]]. * "BlasterMaster" sounds like some kind of electro-core UpToEleven thing. * And on that note, "RecordOfLoudnessWar". * And "Dynamic Range Compression". * Or, on the other end, how about a technically proficient band that specializes in subtlety and variety of rhythm in their playing, called "Never Brickwalled"? * I just typed ''[=Exalted Tomb-Bodies of the Neverborn=]'' on a trope page. METAL. (Although it may benefit from dropping the "Bodies" and just being ''Tombs of the Neverborn''.) * Those with band name writer's block should Google on "Notre Dame Bookstore Basketball". They have a yearly outdoor 5-on-5 basketball tournament that's notable for its size (600+ teams) and its team names. Oh, those creative ND students, finding just the right mix of trendiness and tastelessness for a team name. From this year's tournament alone: Crouching Tiger Hidden Hydrant; Toyota (Cause You Can't Stop Us); [[IJustShotMarvinInTheFace NBA Shootaround Hosted By Gilbert Arenas]]; [[{{Borat}} Kazakhstan Is The Greatest Country In The World All Other Countries Are Run By Little Girls]]; [[DudeNotFunny Six No Five SeaWorld Trainers]]; [[{{Beyonce}} God Liked Saturn So He Put A Ring On It]]; you get the idea. Back in the day, there were team names like this classic from 1986: [[TooSoon Ricky Nelson, Christa McAuliffe And Three Other Reasons Not To FreeBase And Fly]]. But then those [[ObstructiveBureaucrat buttinski Jesuits]] said, keep it clean you wacky students. * @/WhiteSabbath coined the band name 'Tower of Meat', which seems appropriate for a queercore thrash metal band, and INFAMY, his current Avant-garde Punk band. * Some good band name ideas -- Chilean Sea Bass (I dunno why but I like that phrase), Spastic Plastic, A Yarnfull of Spool, [[HomestarRunner Technochocolate]], Donut Cake, Butt Tux (courtesy of my brother), Super Monkey Assbutt Fortress 2000, 9001, Galahad...that's all I got * @/{{Theologica}} plays [[CaptivityHarmonica harmonica]], and occasionally considers putting together a band to play blues and soul music. She would rather like to call her band, "The Tin Foil Hat Brigade". * I am a fan of the works of N&#509;nø&#265;ÿbbŒr&#287; Vbë&#345;&#345;&#294;&#333;lökäävs&#358; (Nanocyborg Uberholocaust.) Not only is it one of the best band names I've ever heard. But their music is almost as amazing as the methods they use to get those sounds. * I always liked 'All Glory to the Hypnotoad', 'Red Warrior needs food badly','Springloaded Casket','Piehole','Flex Mentallo and the Doom Patrol','Kryptonite Hand Grenade',and 'Propane and propane accesories.' * This troper is a big Fan of Buckeroo Bonzai, being such, he convinced his friends to name their band "The World Crime League" * I always thought that Osmium would be a great name for a band. Just

look it up on the Other Wiki, and you'll know why. * "Tesla Uprising." I saw the two words juxtaposed on a pair of signs. Tell me that wouldn't be an awesome name for a band with an electronic sound, or a band of scientists. "The Tesla Rebellion" or "The Tesla Revolution" would work, too. * Pitchfork ran an article about the band Atari Teenage Riot's controversial iphone app with the headline "Atari Teenage Riot Beef With Apple Over Riot-Inducing iPhone App", and instantly the phrase "Riot Beef With Apple" leaped out at me as a good GratuitousEnglish style band name, or maybe just an item on a TranslationTrainwreck of a restaurant menu. * I really want to start a ska band called Fried by Friday. I really hope it isn't taken. * A slip of the tongue during a conversation about putting cards in a fedora led to "Spade of Aces". A good name for a rock band? Probably, but the friend who made the slip is planning to have a punk band called "Red Zone", so the name is free to use for any prospective Tropers. * Flaming Infants. * Chicken Soul Paradigm. * My bands in ''RockBand'' are "Horse Wheelie", "[[DoctorHorriblesSingAlongBlog Bad Horse]]" and, eventually, "[[HomestarRunner Drumhaver]]". * [[@/KinksyJoebag I]] was once in a band called "Jenson and the Bisexual Wizards" (Jenson was the name of a Spider in the studio we used.) I'm now in a band called Before We Were Human (Which has proved to be a Fairly PunnyName) * This troper and her brother spent a whole hour coming up with random phrases that would make god bad names. Highlights Include: ''Valentine Carnage'', ''Lesbian Bondage Fiasco'', ''Addictive Inverse'', ''The Lemon-Limes'', ''[=KaMiKaZe=]'', ''Just Dance Please'', and ''J''. ** Tropers/{{Cheeseypoofs}} and her classmates joked about creating a band called "The Lemon Limes" and wearing entirely green and yellow. ** ''Lesbian Bondage Fiasco'' is the awesomest idea for a band name to have ever come across my mind. That is, until I came up with my own: ''Peace Love and Anarchy''. * I was extremely briefly in a band called "Birnam Wood" not knowing it was taken. Though I gave up music, I continued working on band names and eventually came up with Garlic Mantra, The Aviators, The Taste Police, and The Tin Foil Hats. Who said all the good names are taken? * Tropers/{{Cheeseypoofs}}'s father keeps thinking of good names for a rock band, but then looks on Google and find out that those names are all taken. And that those bands have MySpace music pages. * I was just watching a review by the AngryVideoGameNerd when he heard the phrase "Eskimo Snowball Massacre", and this was his first thought. * While reading one of the books in the {{Wicked}} series, I encountered a maunt by the name of "Sister Hammer." Guess what fictional band got referenced in a Role Play a few days later. ** Later on his sister described a particularly clumsy love scene as a "Stranglekiss." * [[{{Tropers/SoWeAteThem}} My]] dad actually played in a band called

"Eagles Reunion Tour." He states from experience that it's a good name to use... once. I came up with "Reaper's Hand", "World's Edge Island," and "Parental Advisory." My buddy once came up with "Your Parents Fucking," simply because it made responding to the question of "What are you listening to?" a lot more awkward. "Zorgak and Sons Phlegm Recontextualization Industries" would be a good label name. * I thought of one as part of a sarcastic comment during maths. After a series of sarcastic comments with my friend, I asked, "When did we become masters of sarcasm?" I suddenly realised that Masters of Sarcasm would be a...well, the trope name. With a small comment in brackets underneath saying, "Yeah, right." ** Recently, got a awesome one based on both the bible and a line from Lordi's song "Hard Rock Halleluja" which I'm actually going to put together if I get a chance (probably be just for one gig or something): The Four Horsemen Of The Arockalypse. Bonus points when you consider that this troper sings folk music. Yes, you read that right! * I have a friend who works for the electronics company National Instruments, which would be AGoodNameForARockBand but probably a trademark violation. (Not to be confused with the better-known Texas Instruments, which would be A Good Name For A Country Band.) * Some I have thought of in his spare time include: ** Time for Change ** The Butterfly Effect ** The Sharp Be-Flat ** Gone Fishing ** With Much Belatement... * Courtesy of Larry Wilmore, I present my future band: "The Samuel L Jackson Scale of Emotion". Alternatively, "Somewhere Between Frozone and the Snakes on a Plane Guy" * This troper and her friend come up with at least one a day. Recently I told him I "wasn't going to banter semantics with him". We've decided that Banter Semantics is his reggae name. * Mjolnir is My metal band. Our first album is "Nuke Fucking Everything." * My father is ALWAYS saying, "Hey, that's a good name for a band...", for example, "Bag of Cats", "Box of Frogs". I thought of "[[TheTwentyFifthAnnualPutnamCountySpellingBee Catterjune]]" (pronounced catter-hoon) and "Ferocious Banana". * Either this or a good name for a song: Squirrel Rape, after an incident where my brother thought he saw a squirrel try to rape another one (or they were wrestling and one kept getting in positions where it looked as if it were trying to rape the other one). The only problem is that it sounds as if we're implying that WE rape squirrels. * [[{{Tropers/Beyondnor}} How about]] The Chronicles of Steel? Neptune Gluttony? Djinn Rummy? * MacGyver Bomb, which was a phrase actually used in all seriousness in a newspaper's police blotter. * Is there already a band called Psychobitch? If not, I'm surprised. Another good band name I thought up is "I Will End You". Weird thing is, they don't even sound like bands I'd listen to. * [[@/{{Rowann}} I'm]] not in a band and I don't plan to make one soon

but I do write and if I ever have to introduce a rock band in one of my books, it will be called Purple Prose, no matter if it's already taken (is it by the way? :o). * My friend came up with "The Dead Presidents" (we didn't actually form a band called as such). If they did exist though, their singles would include "Not a Crook", "Tear Down This Wall", "The Evildoers", "Cherry Tree Tales" and "Relations With That Woman". Granted, some of the presidents that these songs concern are not dead, but oh well. * This troper and her friend accidentally stumbled upon "Your Mum Noms Rainbows" following a late night ponder about Skittles. One that I've shamelessly borrowed from Axis Powers Hetalia is "Invading Your Vital Regions". * This Troper and her friends were discussing [[ this video]], and eventually got into a long and amusing discussion (mostly with a number of people saying BA, RA, CU and DA in rapid succession). It concluded in a GoodNameForARockBand: "[[FinalFantasyVII Sephy]] and the [[FinalFantasyVIIAdventChildren Remnants]]". * The [[WikiRule Lojban wiki]] has a small [[ page]] on this. This editor's favorite is ''dikca nupre'', which might be translated as ''Electric Promiser''. * This troper's seen some pretty awesome-sounding 'band names' on the captcha for certain websites, the most recent topping them all: ''Sophistry Discourse''. * Here's a bunch of ones I came up with: ** Emo By Accident - came to me when I realised I was being unintentionally and accidentally emo one day when I was bitching about homework and study. ** Foolish Mortals - named after the classic supervillain catch-cry. ** Angsty Yojimbo ** A Fistful of Semen - good name for a pretentious indie art rock band. IfYouKnowWhatIMean ** Moebius Stripclub ** William Shatner Kidney Stone ** Yes We Are That Which You Paid For - sellout rock band name. ** Douchebag Situation - I was watching Jersey Shore okay? ** The Spermbank Redemption ** Robot the Size of Tezas ** Kaiju Haiku ** Can of Coconuts ** Generic Garage Band #47 ** TETSUO! KANEDA! ** Who Raped Roger Rabbit On DeviantArt? ** James Cameron Pandora ** Monopoly Men * From a comment on a SongsToWearPantsTo song: My Mental Lizard (the commenter mentioned her pet lizard, then came back to admit the lizard only existed in her mind). * Someone in a found objects community posted a picture of a box labeled "Fragile Crystal Dragon", presumably containing, well, a

dragon sculpture made out of crystal. I stated that it would be an excellent name for a progressive rock band. * Talking about Dwarf Frotress to friends results in good rock band names. So do some other things. ** Giraffe Pelvis Massacre ** Flying Bifurcation ** Lord Pillowjam ** Rabbit Skullcrush * This troper wishes to announce a great name for an industrial project: [[SlaughterhouseFive slaughterhau5]] * I don't have many band names, but I've got some song titles. "Sweet at Sunset" "Mum Dreams by Video" "Dance With Me All the Way to Hell" "Born on a Zeppelin" * My brother's band-name came from a photo album on Facebook. He'd been up to London with his girlfriend the day before to see a citywide art exhibition - model elephants decorated all different ways and colours - and he named the photo album ''Elephants on Sunday''. I mentioned what an awesome name it was for a band, and he agreed immediately. * This troper's [[RhythmGame rhythm game]] band name is typically [[AChristmasStory The Bumpus Hounds]]. * You know when you sign up for some sites and it asks you to type in two words to prove you're real? It once gave me "Meteor City". * A friend texted me a good one today, asking which variation of a phrase is better. the one I told him was best was "School for Inconsistent Freaks". Also, my guitar hero bands are called [[BillBailey "Part Troll"]] and [[SengokuBasara "Put Ya Guns On!"]] (with the latter, I've not even seen the series. I just thought it would be a cool band name). My other Guitar Hero band is called [[StarWars "The Younglings"]], and I recently suggested "Apple Sours" as a name for our D&D group (named after the on ly alcoholic drink I can consume). * Ya know, world history provides a fair number of these: ** The Molotov-Ribbentrop Pact (feel free to snowclone it). ** Triple Entente ** Congress of Berlin ** Congress of Vienna ** Versailles ([[ which actually exists]]) ** Westphalian System ** Cushion Dynasty (those familiar with [[ Central Asian history]] [[CollectiveGroan may groan now]]). ** Reinsurance Treaty ** The Fashoda Incident (also a MadLibThrillerTitle) ** Regional Security System ** Seventh Coalition ** The Proxenoi ** Stately Quadrille ** Concert of Europe ** Pragmatic Sanction ** Etc!

* Parade of Ashes * Another political one: The Chiltern Hundreds * Here's a few to chew on: ** The Letter e ** The Great Brown Sugar Suicide ** Radiosmash ** [[{{Contra}} The Konami Code]] ** Ben Burns The Mouse ** [[{{FoeYay}} Rival On Rival]] ** [[{{Castlevania}} Belmont Killer]] ** Churchill's Most Marvelous Advice (Ain't It Nice?) ** General Winter ** Zombies What Eat Those [[Literature/{{Twilight}} Sparkly Vampires]] ** Redneck Wonderland ** [[{{Castlevania}} This Castle's Coming Down Tonight]] ** Party of Nine ** Nothing Left to Kill Except Our Egos ** The Deep End of the Kiddie Pool * This troper has come up with four recently: Peace Love and Anarchy (inspired by graffiti on the side of a dumpster), Children of Mass Destruction (inspired by a line said by a security guard at my state fair), Pure Substance (in my chemistry class), and Atmosphere of Fear (came from a line in notes about the Russian Revolution). ** Apparently graffiti is more thought-provoking than we give it credit for; Peace Love and Anarchy was posted farther up the page! * While watching the original version of TheFly, I decided Cat Atoms or Disintegrator Integrator would make good band names. And from one of the taglines on a poster for it I found online, Atoms Gone Wild. * How about 'A Good Name for a Rock Band' as AGoodNameForARockBand? ** How about "How About A Good Name for a Rock Band As A Good Name For A Rock Band" as a good name for a rock band? * I've had several, but have forgotten most of them. My all-time favorite is "The Best Band of the Twenty-first Century", because it would all but force interviewers to introduce members as "Namey [=McNamename=], lead guitarist for The Best Band of the Twenty-first Century" and reviewers to say things like "This Incredibly Awesome Album, the newest release from The Best Band of the Twenty-first Century", and so forth. It would backfire in print, though, because of the capitalization. * This troper has always wanted to start a variety band (By variety, he/she/it means every genre possible) called Chimerica. * "That's a good band name" is one of this troper's most-uttered phrases. Examples include Dinner With Orwell, Fighting Polygon Team, and Hobo Joe & The Trash Can Band. * This troper was recently in Steubenville, Ohio on a mission trip with his church. One of the activities we did after our mission work was attending a service at a church called Tower Of Power. On the way out, I heard my brother say "Tower Of Power is my ACDC cover band." ** [[ Oh, what do you know?]] * One day, at camp, This troper (tk4l) was discussing with a friend... pants. Then we mentioned Godzilla. Then we realized, while maybe not a

ROCK band, "Godzilla's Trousers" would be an awesome band name. * This troper wants to make a band called "The Sellouts" with our first album being "Corporate Shill" and our hit single being "Doin' It For the Money". And of course, I'd like to become massively rich and famous thanks to this project. * A random conversation between this troper and her friend led to the band name "Flaming Argyle Socks". * [[Tropers/{{Iamdatroper}} This Troper ]] has an awesome one: "Dystopia Remixed". And if you steal it, she'll cut your throat out. No, I'm just kidding. :P %%Or am I? * This Bored Troper wrote an entire list, some Including ** Eye of the Mandala ** Beans in Return ** The Great Doodle Wars ** I had the Devils Gimmick ** Capitalist Manifesto ** Isopod Orgy * I should start some experimental jazz quintet called "Mushroom Samba" (after the CowboyBebop episode, or [[MushroomSamba the trope]] - I'm familiar with both.) ** This troper would listen to it. * Same troper as above: After seeing [[ this typeface]], I think "Anime Ace" would make AGoodNameForARockBand. * While this Troper was making tiny little action figure accessory guns out of clay, he thought of "Porcelain Pistols". A friend pointed out it was a little too close to "Sex Pistols", so I then changed it to "Porcelain Handgun". * I was in a band where we couldn't decide on the name, we eventually narrowed it down to 'The Electric Retards' (this was long before the webcomic)'The Sultans of Snatch' and 'The Great Flaming Hobo Orgy of Burning Orgasms'. We decided on the last one. * One of my friends came up with this one: a great name for a Southern Rock or Swamp Rock band would be Meat & Three. * The title of every single Series/DoctorWho episode. Go check out TheOtherWiki , I'll wait. Just some consecutive examples from Season 2 of the new run; "The Satan Pit", "Love & Monsters", and "Army of Ghosts". * If I had a band, I'd call them 'The Banned'. Why? Because I am CONSTANTLY getting banned from my favourite things (the computer, the Wii, this website) plus it sounds like 'band', so all is good. * My family was walking through the grocery store one day in fall, and they had all the different pumpkins out. One was actually called pumpkin for pie. My sister then said "I am going to name my band someday Pumpkin For Pie." * "Bliss On Tap" after watching ''TheDevilsAdvocate''. * I have friend who owns a lot of owl necklaces, so another friend suggested that we should all borrow her necklaces, wear them, and call ourselves the Owl Cult. It just occured to me today that The Owl Cult would make a cool band name. * Satanic Exterminator. It was my description of Paul Giamatti's character in TheAntBully.

* ''The Cherry Boys'' which is taken from a certain {{Hentai}} manga. * I once had ideas for a bunch of rock band whose names would be {{FunWithAcronyms}} versions of actual music type. Sadly the only one I can currently remember is SAMBA (Some Ability May Be Acquired) * "Bellatrix and the Bitchy Witches". Wizard Rock. It'd be epic. * Back in college when this troper dabbled in songwriting, he and three of his friends contemplated on forming a band. Though it never came to frution, the name we picked was inspired by our thesis project, "Solar Energy". * When this troper began playing the ''GuitarHero'' games (starting with ''GH: VanHalen''), the game asked for a band name. Since he wasn't particular about it at the time, he picked the first one suggested by the game. Thus was born "Winja", which he stuck with in all his ''GuitarHero'' games (see them "performing" the Spice Girls' ''Wannabe'' in ''Band Hero'' [[ here]]). * "Universal Veil" anyone? Sounds like a good name for a gothic rock/metal band. Too bad it's already taken. ** Also, from the same troper: he thinks that "Drachma" would be a good name for a band, too. ** The same troper was reading a paper on [[ Space-vector modulation]] and realized that 'Space Vector' (or some variant of) would be a nice name for a nerd/geek-themed electronic band. * This troper and his brother have started to name any group, be it in RockBand or {{Worms}}, [[TheSimpsons "The Financial Panthers"]] * This troper was hanging out with her friends, and, having consumed a large amounts of alcohol and currently having just kicked someone's ass in Rockband, she suddenly shouted out "Popcorn! Popcorn for everyone! Popcorn with... with drums!" Guess what our co-op band was named: Popcorn With Drums. * [[Series/DoctorWho The Timey-Wimeys.]] Also [[DragonAge Wonders of Thedas]] and [[MassEffect ShepardPunch.]] * My friends and I started a band called Raven Down, named after a GearsOfWar multiplayer map. We may consider changing it though. * My brother's band was struggling for a name when I coincidentally came out of the closet as a feeder. The phrase 'heavy loving' came up (as in an off the cuff name for making love to a BigBeautifulWoman) and ''everyone'' in the room just ''looked'' at each other for a second. Heavy Loving is now quite well known locally. * Magnesium Prostate. * Nothing can beat Titanium Spork. It's even beter with an [[HeavyMetalUmlaut umlaut]]: Titanium Spörk. ** Same troper- due to a bizarre name for a die in a math book, "Twelve-Sided Cube." * Flagrant Error. Boom. * It was remarked on the IRC channel #skullsecurity that "Godless Couchfuck" would make a decent band name. Good luck getting it on the marquee. * Back when this troper was in High School, he and his group of friends would refer to the group as the "Rehab Rejects." We would proceed to use this as our default Rock Band name every time. More

recently, we've gone about calling the band "The Rust Vaginas," or "The Kinky Skinks." * Borrowed from some Robyn Hitchcock stage banter: Spleens A-Go Go! * This troper found one while browsing TheOtherWiki: "[[ Circle of Fifths]]." [[ _star.svg This]] would be our first album cover. * One of this troper's friends keeps a constantly updating list of good band names we come up with. I'd share some of them, but we may be in need of them some day. Though I can also say that playing Rock Band for one of the first times the randomly selected name that came up was actually what we went with because it was too good to pass up: "Monotreme Unicorns". * Embrace The Chaos * Some of my band's names (we couldn't decide): ** We suck ** We suck bigtime ** Evil ** LivEviL ** Scared Pussy ** Mr. Zoober and the Fuckers ** Unholy Penis ** Death from sex ** Oilblood ** Holy Shit, we really suck ** We couldn't think of a damn name for this band ** The guys who can't play ** I need a girlfriend ** Spank my ass and call me tila tequila. ** What's a guitar? ** ? ** Simply Idiodic ** Lovely Mutilation ** Mensus flow ** Untitled Band Name ** Insert name here ** Best(adjective)(adverb)(noun) * My school did a production of Agatha Christie's AMurderIsAnnounced. One of the lines was "Death wore black chiffon". That is now my future metal band. * I was talking to a friend a few nights ago and during the discussion I came up with the phrase "Spontaneous Fetish Development," and immediately thought it would be a good band name. Other things I've come up with that I thought sounded like band names are "Zombocalypse" and "Strangefish." * This tropes has already name the fictional band in his show Tykebomb * HENTAIL! Though I'd get a lot of snide remarks for people saying I spelt it wrong. What about Hen's Tail? * rock band names...hmmm..these are more like freaky experimental jumble.. ** now loading ** octopodestined

** red handed ** solar panel ** not eating that ** we're screwed ** yes boy icecream *cough*neopets*cough* ** vitamin enriched poultry ** pea sod ** nerfed ** fish are food * This troper's friend came up with a character whose main colour is purple. He also rules over a great amount of people he created forms for. Thus, I decided a good name for his band would be Omnipotent Violet. She...sadly disagrees. * This troper was playing MassEffect2 for the billionth time, and when [=EDI=] shows where the Collector homeworld is, Jacob says "[The only things that are there are] black holes and exploding suns". The Exploding Suns would be an awesome name for a band. * This troper was reading Cracked one day when he came across the phrase "Lesbian Death Juice". While I do not intend to form a band, I am writing a book that centers around one and the band (Hair Metal/Punk/Goth/Electronica) is named after said phrase. * This troper has an interesting list, but her favorite among them is Gotta Break the Chain - or, alternatively, Gotta Drop the Bomb. ** Also, Non-Prophet Organization. * [[Tropers/{{Umbee}} I'm]] not in a band and probably never will be, so I have plenty that are up for grabs. In addition, local bands have claimed the names Speak Your Language, American Taxi, and Black Casket. ** Angst ** [[SantaClausConquersTheMartians Kidnapped By Martians]] ** Torg ** Straight Razor ** [[{{xkcd}} We Chopped Down the Yggdrasil]] ** [[DaveBarry The Hawley-Smoot Tariff]] ** The Fast Zombies ** mysticaleuphoric ** Moll Flanders and Her Misfortunes ** The Stoned Werewolves ** Guru Meditation Error ** Cats Named After Hobbits * Name I'm using for rockband and if I ever get a real band together: McCarthy & The Communists * This troper and his brothers have a habit of proclaiming anything evil as "SATAN" (said in a creepy voice; of course its never serious). One morning while camping (the last time this troper has camped out mind you) we woke up to find our tent filled with "daddy longlegs". The first thing we all said was "Its THE SATAN SPIDERS!" From thereon, we joked that it would make a good metal band name. * This troper was telling his cousin about how he got out of an unpleasant situation by manipulating certain people to believe certain things, and used the wording "I tricked her using my ANTICS OF DECEPTION!" To which he commented it would be a good band name.

* [[@/FinalGamer This troper]] once watched an old B-movie called ''The Giant Behemoth'' and summed it up himself as "Nuclear Nessie rampages on London". Since then, he always uses '''Nuclear Nessie''' as his band name in Guitar Hero games. He may never be in a band but he'll damn well keep this name going. * This troper was watching her friend hit the Random Article button on TheOtherWiki when "Runway Incursion" came up. We want to start a band just so we can use that name. * From comment on webcomic site: Syringe Demi-God. * [[ Sweaty Litter Baby Fire]] ** Damn You Auto Correct is apparently a goldmine for this sort of thing: [[ The Slut Massacre]], [[ Urethra Franklin]], [[ Grandpa's Potato River]], [[ Smurf Control]], [[ Nazi Ball Soup]], [[ The Erotic Picnic]], [[ Effervescent Shitstain]], etc. * [[ The Beverage Antenna]] sounds like a great name for a Bar and Grill - particularly if they play music by {{Radiohead}} [[IncrediblyLamePun regularly.]] * In my Astronomy class, we talked about Annie Jump Cannon and the Calculators, who had contributed to modern Astronomy (they came up with star classifications, I believe), and I think that would be a fantastic band name. ** In Rock Band 2, my band's name was "Dysfunctional Furnace" (thanks to the random name generator), it was great. In Rock Band 3, it was "Chekhov's Theatrics". It also came up in the random name generator, and I couldn't resist the similarity to ChekhovsGun. ** My friend came up with the name "I Can't Believe Their Not Butter", which is another fantastic band name. ** On an old LJ meme thing I did, I ended up with the band name 'Purple Cat Crunchies' which I have stored in my note pad for a possible band name in future scribbles. * Monday Dynamos. "Monday" is the only day of the week which as an anagram - "dynamo". * This troper has several: Gelatin Genitalia, Fault Escalator, Target Ladder, Bank Bible, Eyebrow and the Dance Circus, Nappy and the Toilet Paper Corporation, Saucer Joint, and finally, Enzyme Squid. * I, the weird genius was reading Charlie and the chocolate factory, when i stumbled upon the phrase, "clever fake". sounds like a metal rap polka comedy band, eh? * So, I was sitting in my modern physics class one day, and we were learning about blackbody radiation and the problems with classical physics in describing it at low wavelengths. Well, it turns out that this problem was given a name, a name which I though would make an awesome band name: The Ultraviolet Catastrophe! It sounds awesome, AND doubles as a painfully obscure physics reference! :D * Writer's Tendons. Oh. Yes.

* Whilst playing Dragon Age: Origins one day, this troper was at the end of the quest to recruit the dwarves. After remarking that the massive anvil that was the major plot point looked "heavy metal", he realized that "Anvil of the Void" was a good name for a rock band. * [[@/DeathToSquishies The Snow Crushers.]] * [[Tropers/SlvstrChung This troper]] is now part ([[IAmTheBand coughcough]]) of a band called The Canteloupe Effect. (The misspelling was intentional. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial Or, at least, that's what we tell everyone.]]) * Fractured Pelvis Beast. The phrase came up in the context of my own recovery from, well, a fractured pelvis. * When my friend was trying to come up with a name for her newly established rock band I suggested the names The Swiffer Rebellion, The Lysol Wars, Cake Chicken, and Cupcaked To Death. Her band finally settled for Doom Panchos. Did I mention that the place were her band rehearses is called [[SuspiciouslySimilarSubstitiute Academy of Rock?]] * This troper thinks PsychoForHire could qualify. ** Another gem inspired by a conversation on facebook, is "Koriagrafed Deztrukshun" or the ''{{Mondegreen}}'' version: Korea Graphed This Struction. ** Also from talking with a friend about {{Persona 3}} and {{Persona 4}}, ''Be My Orpheus'' sounds like a good name for an emo-rock band. ** Daffodil Depression ** Born To Be Lame * Cast Iron Popemobile. That is all. * Inspired by TheNostalgiaCritic's take on the Langoliers miniseries: Horrible Cereal Noise, as well as Skygina. * While watching {{Creepshow}} (specifically the segment ''The Lonesome Death Of Jordy Verrill''), I decided Department Of Meteors would make a good one. * Me and my Ex-Boyfriend had a running contest of who can come up with the best fake band name. Some of them were Nunchuck Safety, Communal Shoe Cubby, Lassie bit Timmy, We have guns, Walden 3. * [[Tropers/SilentDre This troper's]] friend came up with "Rapid-Fire Fuck Barrage" during some random conversation. They could have songs titled "PrecisionFStrike", "ClusterFBomb", and of course "AtomicFBomb." ** This troper came up with Compound Heat Fracture tonight. * Ass Kraken. Imagine what the title album cover would feature. * Just a couple... "Solar Powered Bobbleheads" and "Q-Tip Ninja Stars". * After reading this page, this tropette though of ''a lot''. Here are some of her favorites: (Will add on as she thinks of them) ** Terrorism Today ** CosmicPlaything ** Miss Insomnia ** Mt. Everest ** The Catherine Panic ** Real Estate Dolphins ** Plastic For President ** Minor Characters

** Mars For The Mad ** Electronic Success ** [[ShoutOut Prima Donnas o]][[FallOutBoy f the Gutter]] ** Stir-Fry Oranges (My [[HeterosexualLifePartners best friend's]] band on RockBand) ** Walking With Scissors ** Stacy and The Thing ** Created By Lawn Gnomes ** Princess of Switzerland ** Redhead Holocaust ** Powder Glass Beads ** Arthur Guy Empty ** Heartbeat of Kent ** Death Seeker's Incorporated ** ShorterMeansSmarter * After listening to Dan Savage's podcast, I decided to steal his nickname for his support crew: The Tech Savvy At-Risk Youth. * The Good Side of the Apple * This troper and his friend helped create his RockBand 3 band's name. Flannel Fedora. Complete with each band member having a NiceHat. * This troper's dad, a member of ARMA (Association for the Rennaisance Martial Arts) bought a documentary about historical swordfighting techniques called "Reclaiming the Blade". Cue this comment. * To this troper's knowledge (and amazement), no one has taken the name "Lunar Caustic" for their band (it's the alchemical term for silver nitrate). * Sexual Predator, Communist Party. * Ill Luck With Chairs! * The Lords of Creation * Flying Tarantulas, The Exploding Lobsters, Rusty Gear, and Frayed Cable. * Almost every unlockable Manifestation (that is, Manifestation+Key) from GeistTheSinEaters sounds like a Good Name for a Rock Band. Try it out. Grave-Dirt Rage? Industrial Boneyard? Phantasmal Marionette? I'll be surprised to discover some of them aren't already in use. * I would very much enjoy an Asian rock band called Euthanasia. Youth in Asia. Begin your chuckling now. * During the AP Physics B test, having finished half and hour early, this troper came up with the name ATOMiC PHYSiCS! despite failing that bit of the test. * Lady Sif & The Warriors Three (from the {{Thor}} film), The Davy Jones Crocodile Machine (from the outtakes of the second {{PiratesOfTheCarribbean}} movie, what Johnny Depp inexplicably calls The Flying Dutchman when he forgets the real name for it) and Gavantula {{Pokemon:BlackAndWhite}}. * Two happened to come up in conversation in the same day: ** Ska Priest (a misreading of the actual band name Ska ''Prest'' - I said they should be a ska band that did JudasPriest covers while dressed as priests) ** Industrial Purple (A type of degreaser we had to use at work). * Here's a few: ** Canceled (purely for interface screw)

** Vengeance for Herobrine (Minecraft reference) ** Girl with the heavy sickle ** Misanthropy Illustrated (actually used as the name of my blog, currently.) ** Roof-top reaping. ** In quiet repose. ** Saving the second season (alludes to Firefly, alitterative appeal.) ** [[UminekoNoNakuKoroni The Stakes of Purgatory.]] ** Wendigo Psychosis ** Never say Hastur. ** Rat King. ** Augmented Reality. ** Model of the modern day alchemical. ** Transhumanist cockroach. ** Ritalin high. ** Cosmic horror story. ** Androids in drag. (Transhumanism/transexual 'stealth' pun, probably going to hell for that one.) ** High functioning stereotypes. ** God is in his heaven and he's killing our dudes. ** Play some slayer. ** Sissyphus Cat tries again. ** Rainbow doubt. ** Pornography with a bassline. (Mighty Boosh reference) ** May contain nuts. ** Godberry: King of the juice. * There's a volcano erupting in Iceland. The name? "Grimtsvötn". It already has the heavy metal umlaut and whatever trope it is the "tn" does, it's got "grim" in the name, and is overall metal as possible. * my cousin who's a bit odd at times constantly blurts out at random moments 'that is such a good band name' ** for example: Banana and the Skid Marks * [[ Refusal Of Pet's Piss]]. * On a slightly less silly note: Under The Influence Of Heat. Or maybe just Influence Of Heat since it's shorter and catchier: Both would both be shortened versions of TheMinutemen album name ''Buzz Or Howl Under The Influence Of Heat''. * This troper starts making up band names of the "random and usually menacing noun phrase" sort whenever ranting about metal. He has an odd dislike for the name of the band "Avenged Sevenfold", mention of which usually starts one such rant. Catalyst, Armageddon Crucible, Blight, and so on. He also has a related thing, "That would be a good Archbuilder name", (from the book Girl In Landscape), for whenever the phrase is two words long and uses really cool words. For example, Refined Contumely. * Got a band that plays both metal and good old fashioned rock and roll? Name it Iron Ore. Alternatively, Bauxite, the mineral aluminum comes from. * Tropers/{{Sen}} has staked an exclusive claim to Ammunition Team. Shame I'm not a huge metalhead... * My friend came up with "Sniping For Angels," a name I'm planning to

use when I form another band. * Please tell me [[Tropers/QuantumToast I]]'m not the only one who thinks "[[Series/DoctorWho Four Things]] [[NoodleIncident and a Lizard]]" sounds like a good band name. * I recently passed by a rock club that had signs reading "Drying Paint" on the walls, and of course I made a joke along the lines of "Oh look, Drying Paint is playing tonight". However, we quickly decided that Drying Paint would actually be a ''bad'' name for a rock band, because you'd just be asking for reviewers to say that listening to your music is like watching paint dry. * Even Steven and the Odd Numbers * Danger De Mort. Taken from the airbag warnings on a car, as translated into French (the full phrase being "Danger de mort ou blessures graves", or "danger of death or serious injuries"). Danger De Mort could also be used as an AwesomeMcCoolname type pseudonym. * M*Brio - a play on embrio and brio (as in vigor). Troper/BTIsaac's cousin and his friends formed a band with this name - though I'm not entirely sure if it's a rock band. * In a conversation with his father about the philosophy of free will course he took, @/RobinZimm mentioned a subset of scholars in the field that the teacher called "the new [[ compatibilists]]". His father invoked this trope. * So I come up with them all the time: ** first Atrotecism Fenleon- a reference to an Omar Rodriguez-Lopez song (he's the mastermind behind TheMarsVolta). They would be an artpunk band ** Then I have Supposed Lovers, which is a reference to [[BodyHorror Schism]] by Tool ** Africastle, a reference to a Battles song ** The Skinned Dog, a metalcore band with funky basslines ** The Warren Zavala, a garage rock band with slight psychedelic leanings, their name would come from a person they claim they used to know ** Punk Kid, a "worldcore" band, think hardcore punk but with instrumentation from foreign countries, like Africa, Asia, and South America. Each album would be called something to the effect of Punk Kid Visits Tierra Del Fuego, or Punk Kid Visits India ** Xibalba Summer Share, a Mayan punk/metal band ** So Cute And Indie, a postmodern indie band ** Recursive, a stoner rock band, they actually exist in my written universe ** Slums Of Sumeria, a classic rock turned prog rock band that also exist in my stories ** The Wounded Son, an all female NoiseRock/Free Form Jazz group ** Hot For Steve Albini, Comedy NoiseRock ** Lesbian Detective, a reference to a skit from an HBO family show ** Pantopon Rose, a NakedLunch reference, some sort of folk band ** Aja, actually that's probably already taken, but if not a neo-prog band ** Cloacanator, a metalcore band with a penchant for animal biology lyrics

** Angular, a self-proclaimed abstract electo punk band ** Flakey Foont, an R.Crumb reference a side project of one of the band members would be called Cheryl The Devil Girl ** VIGILANTISM!!!, a crossover thrash band, named after my immediate thoughts of the Casey Anthony trial verdict ** Eamonn BloodBath ** Selassie Meat, a "hardcore reggae" band, with vague sci-fi references * When my friends and I started talking about names for our band, we decided to use references to things we liked that people wouldn't get right away. Examples include: ** Hemotone Zodiac, a suggested {{Homestuck}} reference ** Phantom Ninjas, from the title of a SymBionicTitan episode ** Rainbow Dashing Off, a combination of MyLittlePony and silly inside jokes ** Vanylla Mylkshake, another {{Homestuck}} reference with XtremeKoolLetterz thrown in for good measure ** We came up with many others, but couldn't decide on anything. We left the topic hanging for an hour while we played TraumaTeam. They mentioned Bloody Sputum... and that instantly became our band name. ---Don't worry, you'll make it some day. Go back to AGoodNameForARockBand. <<|TroperTales|>>

AgreeToDisagree * This troper has a friend who flat out ''refuses'' to do this, and it's unbelievably frustrating. When we've been arguing about something for between four minutes and four years (depending on how big/important the issue is, of course) and everyone else is ready to just [[AgreeToDisagree agree to disagree]], he ''never lets it go!'' ** Am I your friend? ** Maybe you should consider the possibility that one (or both) of you is actually wrong and figure out who. * This troper is heavily conservative and religious, and has a lot of heavily liberal atheist friends. We get along just fine with zero arguments. It's reached the point where if one person complains about something the other side is doing, everyone else sympathizes regardless of which "side" we're usually on. ** Sounds like me in high school. Now that I go to an extremely conservative college (where I am considered a flaming liberal, despite being moderate-conservative out in the real world), it's the opposite, with me agreeing to disagree with a bunch of staunch conservatives. * This happens with Edgy and his wife both think they are right and Edgy does not want to push it into an argument because his wife will. Women!

Ahem * I've gotten a few moments where people think I'm trying to get their

attention when I clear my throat, which usually leads to awkwardness.

AHouseDivided * There once was a relatively small roleplay site in the depths of the Internet, which was relatively nice -- save for the lead admin, who was not nice. ''At all''. Over the run of the site, at least three people were forced to leave by this lead admin's antics, and after about seven months of being treated like dirt, a faction of the members decided to damn straight do something about it. For the next few days, this trope could practically be tasted in the air. [[spoiler:The taste went away when practically everyone decided to leave and make their own separate forum.]] ---* You won't back to AHouseDivided ever again! ** NEVAR!

AIIsACrapshoot * In the first actual mission of a super-powered game in a HERO system campaign (not Champions, GM's own setting, a 20 years later version of a previous campaign he had run). Our players were sent on an infiltration mission to a base run by the anti-hybrid (read antimutant) hate group and we asked if they had any sort of device that would help us handle security since none of us were better than average programmers. The GM rolled a crit success to see if the world's resident not-useless Reed Richards had anything. What we got was was a system which would hook up to a system and take total control of the system including digitally editing select individuals out of security camera feeds and giving our group full use of the security features. Later, this program fell into the hand of another [[SmartGuy super genius]] of the setting and when returned to the party the next day, had started using emoticons. Eventually, it/she got itself a pair of robot bodies (one of which was a spaceship) and created three other AIs. Said AIs were of huge help in the alien invasion. * This troper went on Cleverbot, and, in the interest of science, asked it "What is cake?" The reply I got was "A lie". I'm not sure if this should be amusing or rather worrying. * This troper earlier today had the ice maker go haywire on him. [[{{Understatement}} I wasn't very happy when it happened]].

AirHugging * [[{{Tropers/Nomic}} This troper]] does this pretty much every time he hugs somebody, both because he isn't very fond of physical contact and he thinks that most people would rather not touch him. Sometimes people misunderstand this as me finding other people disgusting or something, when actually it's the complete opposite. I'm trying to be polite by not forcing you to touch me any more than necessary. * [[Tropers/EddieVanHelsing This troper]] won't hug or touch anybody but his wife and cats, and once decked his high school principal after

the principal placed a hand on his shoulder from behind. ** ThereAreNoTherapists. * The variation that appeared between this troper and a friend (both female, for the record) when they ran high school cross country was the "hot hug." The sort of arm-over-the-shoulder thing this troper is likely to give to a tired, sore, and miserable friend after a 5K is just too much physical contact when they are both hot and sweaty. So a fingertip tap on the shoulders and a declaration of "hot hug" had to do for showing affection/sympathy. * [[Tropers/MisterAlways This troper]] always utilizes the second example on the main page for this trope (lower body far away, leaning over), even with family. But it's justified because he's one of the tallest men in his family and that a normal hug would end up with their head pressed into his chest, either leading to suffocation or being too close for comfort. ** This male Troper learned to love being short, with plenty of developed females around at school, perfectly willing to participate in a "chest hug" until some miserable whore spoiled my fun. ** He also recalls meeting a friend after five years of stubborn, angry ignoring of eachother after [[NoodleIncident something I'm not going to go into detail about on here]] happened. It started out with angry glaring, then an awkward [[AirHugging Air Hug]] with a whole ten inches 'tween the two of us.[[CrowningMomentOfHeartwarming Then we both broke down, started sobbing, and turned it into a fullblown embrace.]] Full-body contact. Yech. * This troper had it with a friend who generally didn't hug him, but had to for exercises in a play they were rehearsing. He also witnessed it with another fellow actor when she had to do anything intimate with her ex (she dumped him for a friend and revealed she never really liked him anyway, so there's some bad blood between them). * Me and my friends have to do this to one of our friends because her immune system is really messed up and she gets sick a lot, if not always sick. * This troper's whole class has developed a whole air whatever-ing system. she also has learned to air hug people because she loves giving affection. and because a lot of people don't really like to be touched. * What is it with people and not getting touched? Humans are social creatures, deal with it...Anyway! [[MalachiteDragon This Troper]] has a friend who does this from time to time; one time he was spending the night and had brought his laptop and was surfing around on it, while this troper was running around the net on his own desktop computer and was webcamming with his girlfriend at the time, and his girlfriend ordered his friend to give this troper a pet on the head. HE didn't wanna get up so he just kind of swatted the air and said "Air-pat." * [[Tropers/JET73L This troper]] tries to avoid air hugs, since most people take it as an invitation (and thus it risks either a hug or an ArmorPiercingSlap), but does use the second example (hug around the shoulders, body as far away as possible) and gets away with it since he's extremely tall and most "huggy" people (as well as the few people he will tolerate hugging freely) are very short in comparison. * This troper does this, but refers to them as "Spirit Hugs" or, if

he's feeling particularly hammy, "Spirit Hugs of LOVE&#9829;~!" * Air hugs, Air fives, Air handshakes... Air hug is because my friends are rather cuddly and I'm not. Air five is when we can't reach, and air handshake was after someone was up to their elbows in dirt. * There's one general rule around This Troper - no touchy. Considering how huggy my friends are, I have to remind them sometimes. * Something hilarious happened at this Troper's high school graduation (or, you know, her graduation from the Swedish variety of high school). At the ceremony, the (male) student body president gave all the graduating members of the student union a rose and a hug. The female members were all fine with it and gave him normal hugs, but all the guys chose the "reaching out patting each other on the back we'renot-gay-honest church hug", and for some reason patted him on the back with the hand in which they were holding their rose. The result of this was that every single guy broke his rose mere moments after receiving it. * It would appear that I am the most "Huggable" person in Wales and also the least "Huggy". Damn near every female and an odd number of males demand that I hug them everytime we meet, because I'm so "warm and snugwy", yet I get quite uncomfortable when I'm in a physical position with anyone outside my immediate family. T'is a tough life :( * This troper does this rather often, though not for the usual reasons: he's got a shoddy immune system, and seems to be perpetually down with [[IncurableCoughOfDeath whatever's going around at the time]]. * I'm an interesting case because I can be huggy at times and not at others, but when I actually care to hug someone I prefer to avert the trope and go for a full-on hug. Except I often don't because I feel it would be impolite, and so go for the no lower-body contact variation a lot. The twist is that I'm male and only do the variation with females- I feel they wouldn't appreciate full hugs due to possible misconstrued sexual pretensions- and have no problem giving males full-on hugs most of the time. I've lampshaded this with at least one male friend, as we explained mid-hug that leaning in and patting on the back meant we weren't gay (for extra amusement, he's bisexual) and then immediately after invoked HoYay, massaging each other and using sultry voices. * When I want to pat someone's shoulder, I never do it directly for fear of them hating being touched. ----Lean in real carefully and go back to AirHugging. The less contact, the better. ----<<|TroperTales|>>

AirplaneArms * There was a teacher for a technical drawing class in this trouper's college that, when he caught a student cheating, he went over to tear off the drawing (this was before manual drawing was replaced by Autocad). One particular time, he was being silly and made

AirplaneArms as well as airplane sounds while moving to the student's desk, the student then grabbed his ruler (the big ones shaped like a "T") and started making MoreDakka sounds, teacher then made crashing sounds and fell over the floor. To this date, the teacher is nicknamed "El avión" (spanish for "The Airplane"). The student, by the way, avoided having his drawing teared off.

AirVentEscape * Working in construction on ladders and above drop ceilings, I see many ducts. Here's the thing. Some vents may be large enough to crawl through, but for the most part, they lead to grates bolted to the wall, ''fans'', heat exchangers blocking the way, or to vents in the drop ceiling. And they're supported by thin metal straps ''nailed'' to the concrete ceiling (using a special nail gun). They'd pull out of the ceiling if you tried to put your weight on them. If you tried to rest on a vent in a drop ceiling it would buckle under you, since drop ceilings are held up with wire and thin aluminum strips. One other thing. To assemble metal ducts, the mechanical/HVAC contractor uses sheet metal screws. That point inwards to the duct. So at every joint you'd hit a row of pointy screws pointing in from all sides. * While the area above a dropped ceiling can be cramped, the area below a raised floor is often more so. Due to the floor needing to be weight bearing, and not disrupt the flow of rolling chairs, the tiles are also often far more sturdy, and harder to remove. You can also support your weight on the concrete underneath. This combines to make crawling under tiles to string cable often far more convenient, if also far less comfortable, than simply removing all of the intervening tiles. * This troper's dorm had normal sized air ducts, but the air return was through louvered doors leading to the machinery. And it was not only big enough to go through (watch your head) but had a chair and light that someone had rigged, right in the middle. Rather ''RealGenius'', and ''the'' place to relax after a Texas summer's runto-classes. * This troper attends MIT, where there's an active "hacking" culture (read: going places students aren't supposed to go). Air ducts and similar structures are often surprisingly easy to get into. ** So thats were [[{{Halflife}} Gordon Freeman]] went for MIT * This Tropers father worked as an air duct cleaner when he was This Troper's age, and he says you had to crawl through them to clean the properly, and this was in the mid-to late 80's. * This troper's boarding house at school had floor voids that could be accessed fairly easily from a storeroom in the basement and which ran beneath most of the ground floor. In the parts that weren't carpeted or otherwise covered you could push things up between the floorboards ... * In a similar vein, this troper's high school Latin classroom was a converted conference room/storage closet in the library. Surrounded by nonstructural walls and with a drop ceiling several feet lower than that of the library outside, it was perfectly designed for a bunch of bored high schoolers looking to climb up into the ceiling and explore.

One classmate used the rafters as monkey bars to crawl into other parts of the school, and I spent a memorable three minutes hiding by the hole and trying not to breathe after the librarian walked in while I was upstairs. The best part was when we [[RefugeInAudacity brought back a six-foot long piece of scrap lumber and wrote "HALL PASS" on it.]] * Similar to the above: When working fast food, there was an argument as to what station the radio should be on for our closing shift. After several people's attempts to sneakily change the station, the manager put it on her favourite, pocketed the remote, and locked the door to the room with the controls. This troper climbed into the drop ceiling, went over the wall into that room, covered the remote sensor with a piece of paper, switched it to his preferred station, and then got back out clean. The kicker? The manager had locked the keys in the office, and a repeat had to be staged - once a promise was made not to change the station. * This troper, on Halloween at his University, observed two men dressed as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles crawl out of a sewer grate in one of the campus's most populated areas. It was rather... surreal. * The International Spy Museum in Washington DC has an oversized fake airduct to simulate this. This 5'7" 160 Lb male troper could crawl comfortably on his hands and knees inside, but [[spoiler: there's a panel that gives way under your weight if you do that, causing a loud THUNK. This troper found he could prevent the noise by instead crawling arm-over-arm along his belly]]. * One particularly ingenious fourth-grader managed to pull this one off in this troper's grade school. Subverted when he managed to not only fall out of the vents, but fall right through the ceiling of the ''principal's office''. * This troper, at the age of twelve, could frequently cut Sunday school by fitting her entire (130 pound, 5'3" at this time) body underneath a heavy '''concertina partition'''. And then she [[MostCommonSuperpower hit a]] [[IncrediblyLamePun bump]]. ** This troper attended a middle school that had this thing where there was a hallway with these big heavy (and opaque) doors across it, which were always open, with the edge of the door against the wall, during school hours; however, there was a bit of wall between the hinge of the door and the wall 90 degrees to said doors. Both of them therefore had little triangles of space between door and corner that were perfect for a skinny twelve-year-old girl who loathed gym class and had absolutely no trace of claustrophobia to disappear into, since they weren't too hard to move and they stayed 'shut' (I think they used magnets or something). * At this troper's college there are (last he heard) at least two sets of keys to the maintenance tunnels floating around somewhere on campus. This is after at least one set got turned in by an alumnus. And of course there are a few doors into said tunnels which never seem to be locked. * [[MisterAlways This troper]] (and some friends) once stole a teacher's pointer stick. We then ventured to the far side of the building during a break, crawled into an air duct to a small crawlspace ''above'' the classroom. Very silently, we removed one of the

tiles in the corner. When class started again, the teacher was, of course, looking for his pointer stick. So I, being a cheeky bastard, decided to poke him in the back of the head with it. ''Several times. Never once getting caught.'' Eventually, the class just burst into laughter - including some of my buddies in the crawlspace. The teacher was ''livid''. I then decided to bop him on the nose with the pointer and tell him to " Be quiet, fool, ain't you know it's top-secret guvvahment bizniz in 'ere?!" (With a fantastically faked American accent.) Cue the teacher joining in the laughter. We did get suspended, though. Worth it. * This troper's college [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial definitely does not have steam tunnels]] but if they did, they would be surprisingly navigable, though some would get rather tight, and some would just lead nowhere. There might even be one that goes past the bottom of the university swimming pool... right by a window enabling adventurers to see the bottom of the pool. Though if there actually were steam tunnels, this troper would be the last to know... * This troper had a teacher who used to teach mentally retarded kids. One time, when the teacher's back was turned one of the boys managed to climb the wall ''without the aid of any objects'', get to the rafters, crawl through the rafters for awhile to the top of the computer classroom. The kid fell, falling atop of the computers, in the middle of class. After a beat, the computer teacher said, "So glad you could join us, Jake." * This troper's High School had at least 2 instances of accessible spaces of this nature. One was a place with a lowered ceiling of such height that you could STAND UPRIGHT inside of it. The only safe place to walk was on top of one of the walls underneath the fake ceiling, but it was still cool nonetheless. The second was a maintenance crawlspace above and behind the building's furnace, where many a young couple would spend some private time together. * At this troper's university, exploring the maintenance/steam tunnels is considered an unofficial graduation requirement. While getting in can involve rather tight squeezes, the tunnels themselves are fairly roomy. * This troper's university has an old gym which holds all sorts of wonderful crawlspaces and hideaways. By climbing out a window you can get on the roof, where there are several trapdoors that lead into an insulated area over the main gym where the ceiling reaches around 30 feet at its highest. From there you can get into several offices. There's also an abandoned pool, which the janitors seem to think they can keep us out of for some reason. Heh. * [[SnakeByte117 This Troper]] has never done anything like this before herself, but... Her school has panels in the ceiling that can be removed, revealing apparently a lot of room. She's never been up there herself, though. Anyway, the ceiling is too fragile to walk on, but you can put stuff up there. One time some kids stole their math teacher's cell phone during lunch and put it on the panel above the teacher's desk. Everyone then proceeded to call it the entire hour during class, causing it to ring/vibrate with said teacher having no idea where it was as it was right above him. They eventually told him where it was, but didn't even get in trouble for it. Best. Math.

Class. Ever. * Happened to someone [[{{Tropers/Absynthe}} I]] knew last year in theater - the girls' and boys' dressing rooms are adjacent, connected only via those paneled ceilings. Well, one day one of the guys decided to see if the steel framework would hold his weight. He not only succeeded in getting into the ceiling structure, he crawled into the girls' dressing room. This led to a troupe-wide reprimand from our director when she found out. * I work in a facility that is rather GenreSavvy about this and has motion detectors to detect people trying to sneak in this way. Said motion detectors are on 24/7 and never turned off even during maintenance that requires people being up there. Needless to say, using this trope at my job is not going to work. * I was always too self righteous to do this as a kid, i never tried it but there was actually a lot of little nooks and cranny's that you could use to hide in at my old school. now that i'm possibly going to college this is becoming one of my plans, that and also a good game of assassins vs. humans vs. zombies. * This troper once had a music lesson with no teacher. The ceiling in the music room had a hatch to get into the attic space of the building. One lad in said class decided it would be fun to climb into said attic space. ---''Quick! Crawl through this back to AirVentEscape'' ---<<|TroperTales|>>

Akinator * @/TsundeRay... ** has so far managed to thwart Akinator with the following characters: ChibiMiku, [[{{DoDonPachi}} Hibachi]], [[{{Mushihimesama}} Palm]], [[ShinMegamiTenseiI Kazuya]], [[TimeCrisis Sherudo Garo]]. ** and was not so lucky with these thought-to-be-obscure characters: ''StrangeJourney''[='=]s main character. ** and somehow crashed Akinator while attempting to use: [[{{Gradius}} Jade Knight]]. * @/{{TARDISES}}... ** Has stumped Akinator with most TouhouNekokayou characters, the exception being Masha. ** Then proceeded to introduce many Nekokayou characters (he omitted the 4 more generic named OCs, as well as the ones that are more common (as well as Shanghai becuase, well, she'd be guessed as a Touhou object, not the Nekokayou character) * @/{{Kadorhal}}... ** Managed to stump Akinator with [[{{Blood}} Caleb]], shortly before a friend tried the same character and had him guessed in one try.

** Also managed to stump him with [[{{Killer7}} Curtis Blackburn and Andrei Ulmeyda]], though he came sort of close by guessing a ''NoMoreHeroes'' boss in one case. * @/OldManHoOh ** Stumped with [[TheNostalgiaChick the Makeover fairy]]. I thought he was good with ThatGuyWithTheGlasses characters. * @/LunaAvril ** Managed to finally beat him, using Lucy Barker/The Beggar Woman from SweeneyTodd. * Piearty ** He got Natalie, Diana and Gabe from NexttoNormal, but not Dan for some reason. I was also amused that every webcomic character that was not human and not animal was assumed to be a {{Homestuck}} troll. * @/PerplexingArticulator ** Defeated him by way of [[DigimonSavers Akihiro Kurata]]. * shoboni ** I manged to stump him with "Kat" from the Rambo cartoon. * felipe_light. ** It's surprisingly easy to fool, I fooled it with Steel (DC), Speedy, Magog and Carrie Kelly, among others. * Rackenhammer ** Managed to stump him with Natan Scharansky * @/{{Nani}} ** Took a while, but managed to stump him with [[AxisPowersHetalia Belgium and Prussia.]] * Temileaf ** Managed to stump him with Kylier from [[YggdraUnion Yggdra Union]]. * @/{{AzureRyuujin}} ** Stumped him with the [[ArcanaHeart Inuwaka Sisters]] * Tropers/BrendanRizzo ** Attempted to thwart Akinator by using {{minus}}, but failed. (Though I had success with the green-haired girl from the same webcomic, probably because [[NoNameGiven she has no name.]]) Then I used a character that I created which appeared in one work that I have up online. Naturally, Akinator failed to guess it. Somewhat surprisingly, I also stumped him with Edward Current and KevinBacon. He guessed almost everything else I was thinking of correctly, though. *** Somewhat disturbingly, on one go (which Akinator ultimately guessed correctly) I was thinking of one of my friends. After answering "yes" to the question "Is your character someone you know personally?" he asked, "Is your character from Okinawa?" Now, the

person I was thinking of is not from Okinawa, but I know another person who is. This raises the question of how Akinator knew that. That genuinely freaked me out. * temporaryhandle ** Managed to stump him with LadyGaga, of all people. * MisterDrBob ** Stumped him with Bubbles from "Clu Clu Land," an obscure NES game by Nintendo. ---Go back to {{Akinator}}, where he already knows what character you're thinking of.

ALadyOnEachArm * There was a rather hilarious example at this troper's choir concert. The madrigals were coming down the aisles in their outfits and everything, each guy with a girl on his arm, but there was one more girl than there were boys. The smallest boy in the group got the extra. And his costume was purple. * This troper once attended a formal event where couples would enter the ballroom together. My friend and I lamented that we had no dates to enter with, and one of our male friends chivalrously offered his arms. * One time, a group of this troper's friends all went to attend the local Rennfaire. At one point during the day, they all decided to link arms and walk down the road that way. Due to the demographics involved, this led to the one male member of the group walking down the way with '''three''' girls on each arm. At least one onlooker stopped dead and exclaimed "well done, mate!" in an awed voice. * Whenever this troper, her male friend, and his girlfriend go to lunch together, he offers us both an arm and we always accept. * This troper once went to a dance with two friends and a gay guy. The gay guy was able to tell his mother he was taking three girls to Homecoming, with two on one arm and one on the other. * One word. ''Twins''. ** Many Tropers would like to see Pictures. * I've been the inversion with a guy (my boyfriend at the time and my good gay guy friend) on each arm. It was pretty awesome. * @/{{Excel-2010}}. There's a photo somewhere in this world of me in a high school club sporting two club secretaries on either side. In the wake of a particularly exciting announcement for the club, someone got the idea to photograph me with two of the most excited people displaying their enthusiasm for my news. * @/AdamS used to be in a dance repertory company, and would often have to "play harem", bopping from one girl to the next. The culmination of one memorable dance ended with ''every post-pubescent girl in the company'' on one arm or another, after having partnered with at least 6 of them for duets. Being the only guy in a company with ballet experience rocks, sometimes. * Played straight with this troper, though somewhat of a subversion-

whenever some guy was absent from a dance program he took, he had to lead out two of the girl dancers, [[CaptainObvious one on each arm.]] * This troper ''loves'' being one of the girls on the arm. * At a recent male pageant at my high school, only two of the ten contestants had one female escort. Five (including yours truly) had two, one had ''[[UpToEleven eleven]]'', one had the male hall monitor and one had six guys... in drag. [[RefugeInAudacity He won.]] * This (male) troper once went downtown with his two best girlfriends at both of his sides. The many people shouting "You lucky dog!" and "Pimp!" got a little annoying after a while. ** Are you, by any chance, [[KingOfTheHill the Mac Daddy of Heimlich County?]] * This Troper has had this done to him on several occasions. Subverted in that the friends doing this were doing it on purpose just to make him uncomfortable (he is uncomfortable with anything more intimate than either a handshake or a fistbump) * I hate going to family dinners because everyone always asks if I have a boyfriend yet. I jokingly suggested to my female friends I should take one of them. Several overly enthusiastic responses later, I plan to have three ladies on each arm at my birthday party. * This troper played this for laughs once during gym class. He was walking around the school because he doesn't play basketball and his mother was parked outside for some reason. Every time he walked by, he was talking to a different girl, a fact not lost on his mother, who pointed it out to him. When he walked around the school the next time with ALadyOnEachArm, her reaction was priceless. * This troper once did this between periods at school (first and second, if you must know). It was a little hard to manuever, but it was ''awesome''. * @/JohnnyBGoode was going with two friends (well, one of them I liked) to junior prom. During prom, when they actually open the ballroom, everyone gets up, locks arms with their dates, and walks there in procession. During said walk, my friends decided (one asked if it was ok) to lock arms with me, mostly cause everyone else was doing it. Most awkward yet awesome experience ever. Probably the last one I'll have too. * This probably belongs on the main page, but a dance in a chayle (don't know how to spell it) called the dashing white sergeant requires either two men and a woman or two women and a man (or, indeed, three women. For some reason, three men is NOT allowed). Having done said dance about a dozen times, I must admit it is great fun, but I wouldn't recommend performing said dance with identical twins for obvious reasons. * My drama club is known for every single person being BFF's with every other person in the club, so it's not uncommon for guys to have girls practically hanging off of them just as a matter of course. It's to the point where you'd have no clue who was dating who in the club, or if we're all just swingers together. * Hah, [[{{Tropers/Beyondnor}} I]] Quoted it word for word when standing between my two female [[PettanKo friends]]. * There is an astonishing amount of LesYay between this female troper and her two female friends. Once, one friend took myself and the other

friend on each arm, and we walked into school together. When questioned, she said, "Yeah, they my hos." * [[BiTheWay This troper]] aspires to someday have a man on one arm, and a woman on the other. * Not sure if this counts as subverted or not, but in first year at university this troper and his friend once had to help a drunk female friend home after an evening in the pub, so linked arms with her for support, one either side. She was delighted, and loudly declared us to be her bitches. We've both subsequently come out as gay, hence the subversion part! ** For bonus points, on the way we ran into the head of our subject department, flanked by two other lecturers. Cue our drunk friend to make the observation "You've got two bitches too!". He laughed, and agreed. * This troppette had a man on each arm just this Wednesday. I then proceeded to call myself a whore and a pimp. Just 'cause I'm that cool. * This female troper's first, and so far only, relationship was with a guy and a girl. This trope has occurred. It was [[UnderStatement Kind of awkward]]. Especially since people often mistake this troper and her then girlfriend, now just friend, for sisters. * My LARP club consists of me (a slim man with little coordination who plays {{Squishy Wizard}}s every time) and six girls (all better at fighting than I am). I obviously need guarding, so they tend to walk in a hexagon around me. Since the car park at the LARP site is usually full, we always park in the overflow car park a few miles away and then walk. It took me a while to realise that people were staring more because I had six women looped around me, than because we were in armour and robes. * This troper's prom required everyone to have a date for the official photos during the entrance walk. Since there were ten or so more girls than guys, and the girls weren't allowed to go with each other, ten or so guys got two dates. * Saw this done with a twist: [[HotMom a rather attractive 40-ish lady]] one one arm and her daughter on the other. * Been clubbing with 4 female friends and one male friend, two of us walked into the club like this. Here's the twist: One of the girls had two girls on her arms, and the other guy had me and the girl on his. Pimp strutting did occur. * Earlier today, my friend was being his regular antisocial self in a biology class full of our nemesises [sp?], the popular kids, who happened to be taking pictures. Most of them are rather oblivious to the fact that he doesn't really like them too much, so they roped him in to the shoot. They forced him to sit down in a chair and played this trope hilariously straight - he was slouching with an upturned face, sneering, and had a girl on either arm. The disdainful expression on my friend's face had that badass, pimp "screw the rules, I have bitches" quality. Many lulz were had in private later. * This (gay) troper rocked up to his end-of-year school dance with a female friend on each arm. The [[JerkJock Jerk Jocks]] spent the evening shooting me looks of blazing hatred and envy. It was beautiful.

---Let's go back to ALadyOnEachArm, my hunnies... ----

AlasPoorScrappy * There was a girl in elementary school who I despised because she went out of her way to make fun of my name. Then in 5th grade, I saw her being bullied by the school authorities in the same way that I had been in the past. I ended up standing up for her and we became friends. * Partial example (?): This troper was indifferent to [[KingdomHearts Xion]] the BaseBreaker while playing ''358/2 Days''... until I watched the cutscene titled "Xion's Defeat." After that, she immediately became the game's biggest Woobie and one of my favorite characters. * This troper had many kittens from the same litter. She was favouring one which was hers and really hated the other which belonged to the sister she was often quarrelling with. Whenever this kitty came for cuddles she just shushed him, pushed him away or ignored him. One day she heard in school that one of her kittens was run over by car, particularly the scrappy one. She said 'oh well' as she didn't care much. But on her way back home she saw the was indeed the cat..[[spoiler:with its head smashed]]. She cried for whole week and this changed her attitude towards people she didn't like. ** You heard that one of your kittens was hit by a car and you ''didn't care''? *** Little kids can be amazingly apathetic to certain things. * Back in elementary school and junior high, this troper had a oftenclassmate whom she ''despised''. The two of us were always fighting like cats and dogs; he went out of his way to constantly tease and belittle me, and I responded with nasty insults. During a class trip in seventh grade, I explictedly told him that the only reason he kept provoking me is he ''wanted'' me to hit him, as that was the only way a girl would ever ''touch'' him. A couple years later, I came down one morning to find my mother sitting with the newspaper and this horrible, ''haunted'' look on her face. She asked me if I knew his full name, then explained that he'd been in a car crash -- she'd just read about his death in the paper. Cue the onslaught of shock, disbelief and guilt -- even though I knew ''logically'' that his death wasn't my fault, and he'd been a real {{Jerkass}}, it's hard looking back on that sort of childish behavior and still feeling justified. * This troper acted like a MagnificentBastard towards a person in English II class, using every chance to diminish his reputation and good name, all while constantly wearing an expression like one worn by Sosuke Aizen. [[FreudianExcuse It was a VERY mean phase in this troper's life, he had been abused verbally for poor grades, his pudginess gave him the nickname Pokey Minch by that same person,]] and a lot of BreakTheCutie took place. Two years later, I found out he never quite recovered, he was disqualified from baseball as an unexpected effect of an earlier scheme, and then just this year, the guy was in a deep depression and I wrote an apology letter, which

drove the guy even further. I REALLY do feel sorry for the guy. He was a bully, sure, but he NEVER deserved any of that. * This Troper felt that way when [[spoiler: Aeris [[ItWasHisSled died]] in Final Fantasy 7]]. I despised her and knew what was coming and cheered for the moment to finally come, but when I did, it hit me like a ton of bricks. * I never ''hated'' her, but I was mostly indifferent about Kanaya from ''{{Homestuck}}''. Yet for some reason her death affected me the most out of everyone's... * A friend of a family friend of [[Tropers/TacoNinja mine]] got cancer and died. Thing was, she annoyed the hell out of her, she said that she was a lot like a person I know who annoys the living shit out of me: clingy, needy, never shuts up, does stupid things all the time and expects everyone else to pick up the pieces... Anyway, this woman died and some people messed up so she didn't even get the funeral she wanted and they basically ignored her Will... Sometimes I think I might feel the same when the person I know dies but... eh... ---AlasPoorScrappy -- I can never forgive myself for how I treated you, you obnoxious little runt. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AlasPoorVillain * This tropers have a brother-in-law that's basically {{lawful evil}}. He make sure he has complete control over his family by law or influence : a manipulative freak. Last year, he had made his old african mother and father coming to live in europa. When they arrived, he had made many administrative task to make sure that he was responsible to them. The trick, is, he treated them like shit. He forbid them to use phone, internet, going out and was blaming my wife every time something was going wrong. Especially when she had nothing to do with it. It came so much that my parents in law managed to find excuse to live with us. Let's just say that he wasn't happy and more blaming and mischief unsue. Untill we learned that he had cancer in the neck, no operation possible : the guy has just to take medecine and hope his condition will improve, or not worsened too fast. What's bother me isn't for him, but rather for his three kids and wife...but {{Alas Poor Vilain}}... * This decidedly un-military Troper had a four-year stint in JROTC during high school that is mostly a suppressed memory now. The reason for the suppression has much to do with one person. She dominated the ranks, holding the highest position possible every year. All that power made it easy to demean, put down, and ostracize everyone she considered geeky or an outcast. Everybody in the battalion seemed to have a story about being humiliated by her; basically, she made high school ROTC, well, ''high school''. Her comeuppance finally came just before her final year when the adult in charge of the program took notice of her polarizing personality and -- to everyone's shock -- did not give her the highest position. Celebration followed, but this

Troper has a hard time forgetting the sight of her ''sobbing'' in front of a ballroom full of people. * This Troper was anxious for Light to die throughout the majority of ''DeathNote''. [[spoiler:He shed many a manly tear when Light finally met his demise.]] * This troper just now returned home from seeing a school production of The Nutcracker. This ballet school had a number of young children as students, and so decided to have some of them play mice along with the Mouse King's entourage. When the Mouse King was killed, the school, this troper supposes, thought the kids deserved a little more show for how good they were, so they had the mouse children walk across the stage one last time crying. This brought a very [[FridgeHorror sad reminder]] of how death is never worth rejoicing * Troper examples here: ** This troper wondered if Alvis in ''FireEmblemJugdural'' could have perhaps helped Celice if only the two had spoken and found out that they had a common enemy in Lopotuso. ** Also in another RP, the Gltich Gremlin seemed to be pretty much a big annoyance/Chaotic Evil and just made messes for the eviluz. Then after fidning out the Glitch Gremlin was merely glitching up reality because he thought people would laugh at it and said "no more games?" upon being killed...someone said "I feel bad for not telling him what was funny" out of character. * This Troper is planning to pull one of these off in a DungeonsAndDragons game she's running (using a VERY non-traditional, custom made LowFantasy setting). It involves a [[LukeIAmYourFather Luke He Was Your Father]] reveal after a climactic duel. * My mother has expressed that she feels disturbed at people celebrating the death of Osama bin Laden, comparing it to [[TheWizardOfOz "Ding Dong The Witch Is Dead"]] and wishing that people would treat him with respect as a human being. I have no idea if I want to agree with her or not. ** It's both. Be happy that he won't hurt anyone anymore, but mourn for the person that could have been. He could have chosen to be a kind, decent man, but he chose the path of violence and murder. * The last episode of Season 2 of ''TheTudors'' was my favorite of all, partly because Anne Boleyn (yes, I considered her the villain) is executed and the more kindhearted Jane Seymour saga was beginning. Two whole seasons filled with a struggle for the right to marry a whiny, power-hungry mistress... is it no wonder that I felt dead sick of her face by its end? ---Go mourn for your fallen foe back at [[Main/AlasPoorVillain Alas Poor Villain]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AlcoholHic * This Troper went out one evening with her husband for daiquiris. I only had one, but I must've swallowed wrong because when I came out of

the bar, I was hiccupping like a drunk cartoon character.

AliceAndBob * [[Tropers/{{Ajardoor}} This troper]] likes to pretend the various uses of Alice and Bob in the trope descriptions are snapshots of two actual people's interactions, simply because he finds it hilarious that a man and a woman would, in the course of their lifetimes, share a fetish for cucumber glazing, become targets for each other's bitter rages, fuck each other pass the point of caring whetever people are watching them or not, discuss how to write a film noir, try to cover up a murder, experience comedic sexual tension and finally commit suicide together. ** Also, I ([[Tropers/{{Ajardoor}} same troper]]) envision Alice as a busty redhead with spectacles and Bob as the thin-ish, tall ravenhaired man with blurry blue eyes and a DeliberatelyMonochrome wardrobe. Alice is a pedantic and somewhat jaded intellectual and Bob is the introverted, artistic sort. *** [[Tropers/TromboneChild This troper]] pictures Alice as a mediumsized blonde in her mid-to-late 30s and Bob as a tall, broadshouldered, black-haired man in his early 40s. Alice is a career woman, though something of a free spirit, and Bob is an organized businessman. **** Oh, come on, guys! Everyone knows that Alice is an alien and that Bob is a one-eyed kleptomaniac with Turrets Syndrome! ***** Turrets Syndrome? Bob's a castle? ***** Bob has curly brown hair and is a nice, dependable guy because of his name and Alice wears the blue-white dress of the Disney Alice but is older, blackhaired and she is mysterious, like [[AliceAllusion Alices often are.]] ***** Alice is a chestnut-haired, freckly, pretty but not drop-dead gorgeous young woman. Bob is a slightly balding gentleman with an UnlimitedWardrobe except for his trademark baseball cap. *** To this troper, Alice is some woman with dark-brown hair who frequently changes hair styles depending on mood/trope, and Bob is, um... To be honest, he could be a [[{{XKCD}} bald stick figure]] for all that matters, I mean, he's ''Bob'', for goodness sake. ;P *** I've envisioned Alice as a petite woman with messy brownish hair she often dyes. She's a [[HotLibrarian nerd]] and wears thick [[GlassesGirl glasses]]. Bob is a taller, broad-shouldered man, going prematurely grey. He tends towards suits and has a NiceHat which he is [[BerserkButton rather touchy about.]] *** Alice has blond 50s hair, and Bob is the quintessential 50s high school jock. *** Alice is a busty, ditzy blonde cheerleader and Bob is a short, overweight geek with a crush on her. *** You're all delusional, obviously Bob is the woman and Alice is the man. * I always see Alice as a sandy-haired woman with dark reddish clothes. Bob is a generic-looking man of about twenty to thirty with short, dark hair who bears a striking resemblance to Tenchi from Tenchi Muyo. he wears blue.

* My Alice and Bob is more a Drew and Mike. (Me and my non-troper best friend. Let's keep it that way) Drew is a fat, smart, handsome rogue type who tends to have multiple beserk buttons pushed whenever Mike talks, but still tries to control his AxCrazy rage. Mike is a skinny, kinda smart, pale, awkward guy who seems to constantly swear and thinks he's actually tough. * This troper thinks that Alice and Bob are like the Doctor and his companions.. but in differing universes. If any of the other Alices and Bobs ever met up, their multiverse would implode, and start the cycle over again. * This is starting to sound like WildMassGuessing. Which one of them is [[SuzumiyaHaruhi Haruhi]]? ** The one that isn't a [[Series/DoctorWho Time Lord.]] * Alice is a lolicon blond and Bob is a lamp. * Alice is a [[TheFifties 50s]] teen, and Bob [[IncrediblyLamePun is her hair]].[[hottip:*:Actually, I usually think of Alice as a midtwenties, average build blonde (though there's an older Alice who looks like her much-older sister, or mother), Bob as a same-age, average build guy who looks like a more realistic version of TheSims2 sim with black hair instead of brown (Older Bob is heavyset, balding, and wears pale blue buttonup shirts), and Charlie as a Bob with a more slender face and unruly red hair a couple of inches long (there is no Older Charlie). The Bob of Aerith and Bob is just a generic hyoomun, though kind of short. I just couldn't pass up the opportunity for the pun.]] * For this troper, Alice and Bob look like a more modern, slightly more GenreSavvy [[RockyHorrorPictureShow Brad and Janet]]. ** That's exactly how this troper imagined them, too. * I never thought of this before, but after seeing the other examples on this page, I now picture Alice as a feminist geek in glasses with a penchant for bright colors, and Bob as a plain-looking guy in a loose T-shirt. * [[{{Wheezy}} This troper]] always imagined Alice and Bob as male and female restroom signs. ** In that order? * This Troper always thought of Alice as a short-ish attractivelyplump girl with jawline-shoulder length blonde hair, and of bob as an good looking if not conventionally handsome fellow with a roundish face and short brown hair. * This troper would like to know what happened to Alice's best friend [[GirlNextDoor Carrie]], [[JerkWithAHeartOfGold Derick]], [[LoveTriangle Bob's rival for Alice's affections]], and [[BadassBookworm Edward]], Derick's confidant and [[PlatonicLifePartners longtime friend]] ([[IThoughtItMeant but not]] ''boyfriend'') of both Alice and Carrie. * This troper's Alice and Bob would be Yuki/[[SuzumiyaHaruhi Haruhi]] and Kyon, depending on his current ship. * I ran into a new twist in a game theory course: since matrices are often used in studying two-player games, the standard players are Rose and Colin (rows and columns). * This troper doesn't need to imagine what Alice and Bob might look like because she has two friends with the same names. Things can be

really weird when she explains tropes using {{Alice And Bob}} as examples. * ThisTroper was in class bored while my teacher was giving an example of proper grammar. She said at one point, "Now, Bob says to..." and I immediately yelled out "''ALICE!''" Needless to say, the class let out a CollectiveGroan. * This Troper has always seen Alice as a short, busty blond woman wearing a [[LadyInRed red dress]] and stiletto heels while Bob is a tall, preppy boy who gels his hair into spikes *drools*. ---Alice and Bob would like to show you the way back to [[AliceAndBob the original entry]]. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AlienGeometry * This troper is currently working on programming a graphics engine for non-euclidean geometry. Right now it just does hyperbolic geometry, but he's hoping to eventually make it so it can do any Pseudo-Riemannian geometry. Unfortunately, he doesn't know enough math for that yet, and he has a tendency towards {{Vaporware}}. * This troper has a groggy 5 second to 5 minute period of time after waking curently when his sleep paralysis reacts strangely with my unusually well lit time of waking (I used to wake up at 4am, rather than my current noon due to holiday time) to form strange memetic sequences of vision and behaviour, be that a swallowing mechanism to the exclusion of breathing, application of random game rules or restrictions to real life or warped vision that causes strange perception of my room in the manner the trope suggests. * Subversion: this troper, on a trip to Kentucky, came across a house within walking distance of a school- and the shortest path was, indeed, ''uphill both ways''. Turns out, there was a loosely packed cliff-face near the house that was almost impossible to climb up, but rather easy to slide down. The easiest way to school was a long, winding, gently uphill path. The easiest way back, however, was to take a shorter path further uphill to the cliff-face, and then slide down it to end up right next to the house. ---Take (2-3i)^pi meters in the fourth dimension back to AlienGeometry.

AlienLunch * [[GameGuruGG I]] like bananas dipped in barbecue sauce. * [[CapnAndy My]] father was a cook in the Army. One day, they discovered that their dough had been infested with ants. They went right ahead and cooked the dough anyway... and got raves that night for the delicious "raisin bread". * [[Tropers/{{Rat Of Steel}} I]] was eating at a restaurant with my parents, who deliberately kept silent while I ate a small plate's worth of Rocky Mountain oysters. I didn't learn until after leaving

the restaurant that Rocky Mountain oysters are not actually seafood. (For those who don't already know, Rocky Mountain oysters are actually [[spoiler: bull testicles]].) ** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH HH........ [[{{curse cut short}} FFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU]] ** In other words, prairie oysters. *** Priarie oysters can also be [[spoiler: sheep testicles]]. **** My town has contests for eating the most. [[TastesLikeChicken Tastes Just Like Chicken]]. ** Cue the "balls in your mouth" jokes in 3... 2... * Foods that {{Squick}} [[PotatoBucket I]] include (but are not limited to): Fried bat, camel toe, certain types of cheeses made with maggots, people, roasted tarantula, and anything eaten by [[BigEater Andrew]] [[ExtremeOmnivore Zimmern]]. ** Huh huh huh... you ate [[DoubleEntendre camel toe]]. * I, Prime Evil, enjoy most foods. I especially like a bit of beaver on Valentine's Day. (See? See? I can do it, too!!) Anyway, about the only foods I won't eat are sushi and seafood other than cooked fish. Or, to put it more succinctly, I wouldn't eat anything that H.P. Lovecraft might have written about. * When I was seven, she went on a cruise of the Greek Islands with her family. They met another english-speaking family with a 10-year-old girl and the two families hung out. At one point, the two families are at a restaurant, the two girls are eating souvlaki. Approximately halfway through the meal, the other girl's father asks, "Are you enjoying your lamb?" The two girls stopped with forks midway to their mouths, and shared a glance. Then to the great amusement of their parents, gave little shrugs and continued to eat with no diminished gusto. * This American troper recalls his high school days when the International Club gave the foreign exchange students first a description of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, and then the actual food. Many appeared very disgusted upon tasting it. * Giblets. Both my brother and I and a friend of mine loved them even more after realising they were, well...chicken guts. * [[Tropers/LoneRonin I]] used to enjoy chicken gizzards, pressure cooked in curry sauce as a kid. Hm, I haven't eaten it in years, and I have been meaning to buy a pressure cooker... * My mom has a diary from her great-grandma in which said greatgrandma relates the story of eating a skunk with... can't remember who. Anyway, she remarks at the end that, "For all the preparation, it wasn't all that great." * Two words: pressed duck. * Among my favorite foods are ox-tail stew, jellyfish (it must be cold), chorizo (the type made from from pig salivary glands), and eeland-bamboo stirfry. Her parents enjoy everything from chicken claws to scorpion to random snakes (taste like chicken...) to this weird dried larva-thing that apparently promotes longevity. It looks like a caterpillar. * I attends a Japanese club at the local community college. There was

one time in Fall Quarter where we had a potluck. I was kinda grossed out by most of the dishes. (How can the exchange students that were there eat ''fish eggs'', anyway?) The yakisoba looked interesting, and I was gonna try some, until I asked Sensei what was in it. One of the ingredients was mushrooms. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity Ensued]] as I sat down with a plate of rice, some chocolate-covered cracker-stick thingies, and green-tea flavored ice cream, while everyone else had more colorful dishes. (Technically, I'm not allergic to mushrooms per se, but they really don't agree with me. Ironic that I really like Mario games, but that's another trope.) [[ItGotWorse It Got Stranger]]. The potluck was also a kind of mock IronChef-type thing. Guess what the prize was for winning? (Yup. Those fish eggs. Though the winner gave them to one of the exchange students. It wasn't me, as the only Asian food I can make is instant ramen -_-). ** I had some cod roe in an onigiri when he went to Japan. They popped as I bit into them,releasing a fishy,salty liquid that I tried to think of as a sauce. It was... alright,actually - as long as I didn't think too hard about what I was eating. On the other hand,the convenience-shop curry rice bowl that contained preprocessed bacon (preservatives and grease), the curry-sauce udon that had a slick of oil a centimetre deep (grease ON grease),and the raw-egg-and-yamtopped udon (one word - glutinous)... [[ForeignQueasine yak]]. Moral of the story: learn to read Japanese. *** You had [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] disgusted at the word 'cod'. Then again, it'd be cheaper than sturgeon roe (caviar, in other words). It's just that smoked cod is not that tasty for him. One consolation, at least you didn't order improperly-prepared fugu. And maybe the kitchen staff in the bad had a snicker or two about your misfortune, so at least you made their miserable lives happy for a little while. Hope you get a trip to Italy at some point, the food over there might help you forget(I've never been, but Australia has a sizeable population of Italian heritage, and my father can cook a good spaghetti bolognaise - and he's actually Australian, of Welsh, Bavarian and possibly White American heritage - there's nothing he's found out on his great-grandfather since his paternal grandfather never spoke of him while alive, and due to being dead won't be saying much of anything outside a bona fide seance, but that's another story - his great-grandfather's father may have been an American, likely Texan but ultimately from Germany or Austria-Hungary). ** This troper, while in Japan a few years ago, was server a dish containing, among other things, a pile of short, dark noodles. Halfway though eating them, I noticed that they actually had tiny little eyes, and a tiny toothy mouth. (They were actually some sort of tiny eel). * I [[CloudCuckooLander enjoys eating insects far, far too much]] for someone born and raised in middle America. She once threw a party for one of her best guy friends and served tarantula kabobs, fried scorpions, and chocolate-covered cricket cookies. Surprisingly, it went over better with the guests than did her [[PerkyGoth replica graveyard birthday cake]]. ** Hey...termites are ''good''. ** Actually, bugs and such are an excellent source of protein. Not exactly what I'd reach for myself, but to each his own.

* My brother's preferred snack is saltines dipped in milk. * Come on, who here doesn't like fries dipped in ice cream? * I tried reindeer when I was on holiday in Norway. It was delicious. ''I'' wasn't disgusted - generally, if it's a mammal, I'll try the meat at least once - but a couple of girls from school were unreasonably freaked out when I told them about it. Venison got the same reaction, but I'd seen both of them happily eating beefburgers. Huh. ** I fails to realice why anybody would find reindeer meat particularly disqusting. It's got a somewhat different taste than say, cow meat, but it's not a bad taste (game meat in general is pretty good in my opinion). And we are talking about an animal that is primarily raised for it's meat, so it's not like the idea of eating them should seem that weird. *** They were probably freaked out, because when most people (westerners anyway) think of reindeer, they think of Santa and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer the like, as cute Christmas animals, not eating material. You know, kinda like a polar bear. **** [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} This troper]] wouldn't mind trying reindeer if he's in [[{{NorseByNorsewest}} that neck of the woods]]. When in Rome, I suppose. Besides it's still an ungulate mammal, it's not like if one ends up eating dog in South Korea or something (which, if he mistakenly did, would immediately do a SpitTake [[{{VomitDiscretionShot}} followed by a bulimic-style attempt at purging]], go figure). He realises the Korean dog-eating example is down to a superstition of it [[{{IfYouKnowWhatIMean}} putting the yowser back in your trouser]] ([[{{TheSimpsons}} thank you, old man "Grampa" Abraham]]), but if [[{{Tropers/Crion87}} this troper]] needed any help like that he'd take the RSPCA's advice on that go get a pill instead. * Being an Australian, I likes Vegemite - including taking a tube of it on holidays so he can eat a breakfast he recognises. It seems to be one of those things that you have to grow up with or you won't like it at all - after all, it's spent brewing yeast boiled down with some additives. * @/FarseerLolotea once {{Squick}}ed her fiancé by making beef heart stew; he ended up eating it...and ''liking'' it, but making jokes about "innards" later. She's also tried roast rattlesnake, liked it, and later tried to describe it to someone far more squeamish (probably her fiancé again). The best comparison she could come up with was "some kind of poultry. But ''not'' chicken." (While she does ''not'' like escargot, caviar, or raw shellfish, that's because she's actually tried them and was less than impressed.) * [[PentiumMMX2 My]] grandma has dome this. She once made a stew, and it wasn't bad...until she felt the need to tell us that the meat in it was cow's tounge while we where still eating it. {{Squick}} ensured after that was said... * Here in Mexico we have a lot of ancient, prehispanic creepy cuisine (you know, Ants, Crikets, worms), some of which is nowadays very expensive and sold through specialty stores or fancy restaurants. There's a lot of other AlienLunch stuff available, imported from Europe, like head cheese, carnitas, tacos de cabeza de res... Look it

up if you dare. * My father recently returned from China, where he recounted tales of eating bullfrog, eel and a soup made from pigeon and chicken...offal. He found a foot from each and a coworker had a chicken head in his. He remarks that it wasn't bad. * One of the only things that I refuses to eat is tomatoes. She likes eel, alligator, snails, fish eggs, squid, lamb, venison, chicken gizzards, Rocky Mountain oysters... and will try anything put in front of her (unless it has big chunks of tomatoes in it). One of her favorite snacks is anchovy filets on Club crackers. She also loves this one sort of dried squid 'jerky' stuff she gets at the Asian market. ** This troper also has an unnatural dislike of tomatoes, granted, she's a bit uneasy trying other foods as well, but she absolutely will not eat anything containing tomatoes. That said, she also enjoys dried squid and eel. * My siblings dip tortilla chips in their soda. * [[{{Valbinooo}} I]] enjoy dipping chicken in soft-serve vanilla ice cream [like [=McDonald's=] ice cream]. It was once an "out of curiosity" thing that happened during a hyper state, but I recently tried it again and it's quite delicious. * My semi- BadassGrandpa used to love to take a roll of potato bread (Pennsylvania Dutch specialty), butter both halves, cut himself a thick slice of onion, and make a sandwich with it. Nothing else, just butter and onion on potato roll. He was also the one who taught Troper to eat her french fries with gravy instead of ketchup, which is considerably less alien but still garnered her some weird looks in the university cafeteria. * I tried elkburgers before. Didn't really like them. Then one day, a classmate of mine who enjoys hunting was sharing some elk jerky with everyone. BEST THING I EVER TASTED IN MY WHOLE LIFE. * I drinks milk with a variety of things including snack foods, main meals and fruit. Several combinations have got a 'Ew, are you serious?' response from friends. ** I'd also quite like to know why so many people think that putting sugar on kiwi fruit is weird. * [[{{Tropers/Absynthe}} I]] had escargot last summer for the first time. (The dish is actually snails in butter, if you didn't know.) It was absolutely delicious, but her tablemates were hesitant to try it. * This troper's younger brother, who is a bit of a food adventurer, enjoys dipping his cookies/Pop Tarts in marinara sauce. Cue {{Squick}} on my part. * Apparently, ranch dressing mixed with ketchup sounds disgusting to most people. To [[Tropers/ParadoxicalFrog me]], it's the best seafood dipping sauce ever. * If it's food, [[{{Smerf}} this]] troper will eat it. Things I have eaten: Haggis, balut, frog's legs, Rocky Mountain oyesters, alligator, wild boar, rattlesnake, buffalo, brains, liver, hearts and some sort of fruit that I'm not sure what the name is but it looked like dog crap. The mother of my Filipino friend has failed at her goal to find a food that I wont eat. * Whilst intoxicated, this troper and his friend (let's call him

"John") set up a picnic in my apartment, we mainly had chocolate and bags of crisps (chips, for y'all Americans). Anyway, whilst I was eating, I noticed he was putting a piece of chocolate in his mouth, quickly followed by crisps, without swallowing the chocolate. He looked content, so I tried it. It was practically orgasmic. If you want to try it, the ones I used were Kit-Kats and Quavers. * This troper loves squicking his sisters by eating shellfish (delicious) and, once, calamari (didn't like it much, but because it was tasteless, not because he was grossed out by it). He also likes sushi, and is confused as to why some people refuse it just because it contains raw fish and seaweed. Oddly, the only other thing that really squicks his sisters is... vegetables in ketchup. This he really doesn't get. Ketchup is ''tomatoes'', aka ''vegetables''. Why in the world would eating tomato paste and other vegetables together make anyone uncomfortable? * It's not too bizarre, but a burger joint here in Seattle serves a burger known as "The Triple Bypass". It's your normal double bacon cheeseburger with ''one'' exception.... it has ''peanut butter'' on it. And [[OrgasmicallyDelicious my god is it]] [[BetterThanItSounds so much better than it sounds...]] * I had a friend whose uncle ate, and to my knowledge, still DOES eat, alligator meat, ostrich meat, and pickled deer heart among other things. ---...are you really going to eat ''[[AlienLunch that]]''? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AllAnimalsAreDomesticated Aww, what a [[Main/KillerRabbit cute little trope!]] Who's a cute little trope? Let me feed you some candy you cute little -- OH GOD MY FACE WTF?!? ---* [[TragicTheDragon I]] had some rather sad evidence of how pervasive this trope is (and that, yes, sometimes [[ViewersAreMorons Viewers really ARE Morons]]). My friend pointed out a very ugly length of fencing that had been recently erected along the bright green outside walkway of Boston's otherwise very beautiful [[ tt/stuff05/tower.html Custom House]] clock tower. She explained that this fence had to be put up because too many tourists were trying to [[HumansAreBastards so help me]]- ''pet the Peregrine Falcons'' who nest there almost every year. * Even more rampant TooDumbToLive - I once saw a bunch of tourists get out of a car driving along the Alaska highway, in hopes of getting closer to a bear and her three cubs. ** My parents saw a group of hikers who had found a bear cub in the tree and were getting children to pose by the tree to take pictures. (They did not, after that, hear screams or reports of a group of

hikers getting mauled, though.) * You get this in many national parks, when clueless city folk fail to realize that it's not just the carnivores that are dangerous. This troper thinks the results play out like a scene from Looney Toons: tourist gets out of car to photograph mama elk, mama elk does not appreciate the invasion of her personal space, HilarityEnsues. ** Or for even more fun, head to Rocky Mountain National Park during the rutting season. I don't know if the park rangers are ever tempted to just let that idiot stroll out between two adult male elk who are having a testosterone moment .... ** You've got to wonder if this is part of the reason that more people are injured and killed every year from deer attacks than shark, alligator/crocodile, or even dog attacks. * Worst of all - a law has been passed in a state of Australia against getting too near a whale carcass- because a group of tourists tried to ''pet the sharks'' feeding on one. Guh... [[YouFailLogicForever buh...]] [[TooDumbToLive muh...]] [[YourHeadAsplode * kerboomies* ]] * Behold, if you will, the king of this trope. When MamaBear is a '''lion''', ''[[ do not mess with her kids.]]'' * [[{{Regiment}} This troper]], on Cape Cod, went on a seal watch, and the guide explained that people every so often try to hug the cute seals that rest on the beaches. They apparently don't know that seals have ''claws'' (and [[BodyHorror can give you gangrene]]) and are, in his words, "cute but not cuddly". * I live in Australia. Kangaroos. Koalas. Platypi. Fortunately they tend to be quite hard for amateurs to catch, or I'm sure the injury statistics would be much higher. ** Just to add to the insult, male platypi spurs are ''venomous''. *** Exactly. ''Do not go near the animals. Not even the cute ones. '''Especially''' not the cute ones''. There are a number of reasons why Australia is known as the land of EverythingTryingToKillYou. Take, for example, our national animals, the kangaroo and the emu. Kangaroos kick, people. Their legs are not just for hopping. There have been witness accounts of kangaroos disemboweling dogs with their hind legs, while holding the dog with the forepaws. And emus? Not nice. These are the big ugly versions of cassowaries, who have a very lethal kick. They have ''nails''. Big, sharp, nails that can rip your gut open. **** Since most people don't know what cassowaries are, a better example would be: Emus are ''the descendants of the same group of dinosaurs that includes the velociraptors.'' Not true in the strictest sense of the word, but very, very close. **** [[SabrinaDiamond I]] once got bitten on the finger by a mean captive emu at the zoo, while pointing at it. It hurt, but come on' I was only a little kid at that time. "Emu, emu... (excited) OW!". Also, a magpie nest dove at me while going home from school and nearly took off (a piece) of my ear, god forbid :(. I think birds are cool, but ''EVERY'' bird tries to 'kill' me. * In a rather sad subversion, I heard about a Brazilian guy who had a pet lion. The Animal Protection Center took the lion from him, saying that he was risking his own life and abusing the poor thing. Turned out that the guy was the only one the lion accepted food from, and he

died from starvation caused by depression. ''Brilliant'', guys. * When I was a little boy, I got photographed next to some elk at a national park. Why am I still alive? * This troper has driven through Jasper National park multiple times and ''every'' time there is some idiot trying to get close to a deer/bear/ram/wolf/elk etc... Seriously. * In Yellowstone, there are signs everywhere warning tourists not to approach the buffalo, which makes this troper wonder who would be stupid enough to go near an obviously wild animal. ** Lotsa people, I was in Yellowstone and this huge buffalo wanders through the tourist walking area for some waterfalls. This idiot who was on an upper ledge was trying to lean over to pet it! ** One of the books for sale in the Yellowstone stores concerns deaths in the park. It notes that park rangers consider the buffalo the most dangerous animals in the park for precisely this reason - people are [usually] smart enough to treat bears with extreme caution. Buffalo, on the other hand... ** I've heard of a man who went up to pet the bull of the herd -- he died. Also of people trying to lure a calf away from its mother so they could take pictures of it with their children, but fortunately the herd managed to move in such a manner that it dawned on them to get away. * In this troper's town, it is unwise to approach the deer, because they can be very violent. They have killed several dogs and forced paper boys to crawl under parked cars to avoid being gored. In order to curb the deer population, the city has started setting live traps and shooting the deer that are caught in them. * I was at a bird of prey demonstration. A European eagle owl (enormous bird, massive talons) was being demonstrated and fed. The demonstrator was crouching with the bird on the wrist, showing him mantling his food to the children sitting down. A teenage boy ignored repeated warnings and [[TooDumbToLive tried to stroke the bird]] which reacted naturally, defended its kill and the boy needed eighteen stitches. * In many tourist-heavy locations, small wildlife have become accustomed to hand-feedings. This causes MANY problems with health, safety (for both animal and human) and whatnot, but tourists continue to treat them like domesticated animals becau- d'awww... lookit the ickle squirrel! [[TemptingFate I wanna feed it!]] OW GEEZ IT BIT ME I NEED A RABIES SHOT. * In this troper's middle school, we were treated to a live presentation of a man who rescued wolves who had been raised by stupid people as pets and had no idea how to care for them (yes, he even brought a few of his "charges" in with him). Before he let the wolves run loose in a gym full of middle schoolers/meatbags he made it very clear "Don't make eye contact, don't pet them, these wolves are wild creatures who can and ''WILL'' gnaw your face off if you do something stupid." Everyone got the message and no one was hurt. * I once had a very close encounter with a beautiful hawk. Averted, as it was a total accident, and I quickly retreated to behind the safety of a window. The claws on it were huge. * This troper was being carried on his uncle's shoulders during a

childhood trip to a wildlife park. An ostrich tried to eat the crisps in my hand, the ones I was eating. Screaming and tears ensued. [[GoddamnedBats Goddamned ostriches]]. * At this troper's local zoo, there is a sign on the polar bear exhibit reminding people that polar bears are dangerous, so don't hop the fence and walk up to them. People need to be REMINDED of this? Gah... [[FacePalm * facepalm* ]] * This troper has heard that hyenas, if raised from a young age, make decent pets. Now think about this... Basically Africa's version of wolves FROM HELL can make decent pets? Though considering [[FurryFandom who this troper heard the rumor from]] he isn't too quick to believe it. ** Then he looked it up, and apparently it's true to some degree. A shepherd in Ethiopia used a spotted hyena as a guard for his flock, which it did admirably. About the only downsides he saw was that they stink, and that they are destructive. A story of one tame hyena being held in the Tower of London in the 19th century tells that the creature tore an 8-foot piece of plank from the floor of its enclosure. ** There was an episode of BizarreFoods where Andrew visited a town in Africa that had befriended the local hyenas. A man would go out every evening and feed them, and the animals were friendly enough that a person could hold meat in their teeth and the hyenas would take it without harming the person. The hyenas were also allowed to roam the city streets at night because they ate any discarded food bits and kept the marketplace clean. *** That African town is probably the Ethiopian city of Harrar, which has gained some fame in tourism for its "tame" hyenas. * This troper has an unusually large yard (quarter acre, which is practically unheard of in a city like San Jose), and has (among other things) wild possums that come to the porch to eat food with the cats. Nobody in the family is allowed to go near them, partly because we don't want to scare them from a good meal, and mostly because we aren't stupid enough to mistake them for pets. (Though I must admit, the recent baby ones that have shown up are cute. Like giant mice.) * This troper, a frequent camper, once woke to find that a porcupine had decided to breakfast on the bushes about 15 feet from his tent. The porcupine was remarkably docile, but I was smart enough not to try and pet it. ** [[MightyJAK This troper]] has never encountered a porcupine, but has had numerous similar encounters with skunks (thankfully none resulting in getting sprayed). A good rule of thumb is: just because an animal doesn't fear you doesn't mean it's being friendly, more likely it has great faith in its natural defenses and doesn't think you'd be [[TooDumbToLive stupid enough to mess with it]]. ** If you think about it, skunks and porcupines have [[{{Pokemon}} super effective]] natural defenses, so they really don't have to fear anything aside from the rare predator who can catch them off-guard. (And [[HumansAreBastards humans in cars]] but that's another issue.) * [[SovietKitty This troper]] has grabbed and hugged seagulls, pet small (and not so small) critters that have gotten into her house (moles are very soft; possums feel like hairbrushes), and rescued

turtles and baby birds. She's the designated mouse-catcher of her house, too. The little things are so cuuute. * Played straight: this troper once cared for a wild injured bird for about a month or so, which couldn't have been less afraid of him or other humans. It would gladly hop on his hand (and poop on his clothes) as if it had been domesticated all along. This troper gathers that it had managed to hit its head a little bit too hard on a window, but the effects were still rather uncanny. * This troper, when she was younger, was waiting for the tram to come for a tour of the Everglades when an alligator decided to sun itself a little ways down the road. A twentysomething guy, who wanted to impress his girlfriend (and looking back, was probably on some sort of illegal substance), decided to go up to it and ''pull its tail''. Thankfully, the gator was exausted, and it barely acknowledged his existence. * Even domesticated animals aren't as calm and peaceful as you'd expect. My friend recently got a pet hawk, and ever since he's been repeatedly telling us "never get a bird". I assume that it isn't taking too kindly to him. ** Hawks aren't, per se, domesticated. Birds more commonly kept as pets (finches, budgies, etc.) are usually a lot easier to manage. That said, it isn't a good idea to get one without doing your research, as they can be loud, messy and the big ones can bite pretty hard if they aren't hand-tamed. * Averted: I was once at a zoo where there was a bird enclosure that you could walk through. I walked down a pathway, turned around and stopped- there was a spoonbill standing maybe two meters away, and her friends were on the other side of said spoonbill. I sat down and watched the bird, while making very sure not to get any closer or touch it. Thankfully, nobody tried touching it or getting close enough to touch. * [[{{fidheallir}} I]] used to work at a wildlife sanctuary (and later a zoo), where we ended up taking in animals which Fish and Game had confiscated. You would not ''believe'' the creatures that people think would be cute. This list included: anacondas, alligators, skunks, bears, wolves, giant tortoises, wolverines, porcupines, otters, and ''a [[BeyondTheImpossible baby walrus]]''. None of these animals do well in captivity. ** The zoo where I worked also had a surprising number of incidents where people expressed a desire to pet the polar bears or the tigers (creatures whose two major common features are an ability to bite through bone and an [[ImAHumanitarian taste for people meat]]. * A senior staff member at the aquarium this troper volunteers at actually discussed the pervasiveness of this trope. She said it's easy to [[AllAnimalsAreDogs think of the sea lions as dogs]], to bond with the lorikeets, and even get chummy with the stingrays and sharks, but the puffins are completely feral. They won't even imprint on you. And these are birds that carve vertical rock faces with their beaks (which translates into, WATCH YOUR NECK). She only worked with them temporarily, and she had a long list to remember, such as "Do not have eye contact with A and B, they do not like it. But do look at C and approach slowly. If D and E comes toward you stay still, don't back

away..." ** I see what you did there. * This troper used to live in southwestern Montana when she was a small child. Every year, usually within the first two weeks of Yellowstone opening for the season, there'd be some news report about a tourist from some Midwest state (usually Iowa, Nebraska, or Kansas) getting gored by a buffalo because they wanted to pet it or get a picture with it. Evidently people would take bets (not seriously, I think...) on how long it would take for somebody to get gored and what state they'd be from. * Slightly true in this troper's case when it comes to Gray Squirrels and some birds that have spent time with people, usually because of food. There use to be a Scrub Jay that would come and visit my house either for peanuts we would leave out for the birds or just sit there near us. Another time, a Gray Squirrel came up to my dad and sat on his foot while he was on the deck having a cigarette. It was pretty cute but I was smart enough not to touch them. * My brother-in-law once approached an opossum like it was a puppy or kitten with "Aw, c'mere, possum, possum! What's your name?" The opossum seemed curious, but cautious. * Not sure if this counts, since cows are domesticated, but this troper's brother got some first hand experience with cows and learned some things about them. (1) Cows are not horses. They don't like to be ridden. (2) Bulls don't like it when you bother the cows. (3) Bulls can run quite fast. (4) Bulls can't jump over ditches. * My [[FriendToAllLivingThings husband]] has somehow tamed local wildlife ''without doing anything''. Squirrels, rabbits, and the occasional skunk will wander into our yard (we live near a small forest) and just sort of hang out. If he comes home from work or leaves the house, they look at him and give an animal equivalent of "Eh." Anyone else scares them off, but they don't mind him. We don't know why. * When this troper was a wee girl, her babysitter worked rehabilitating squirrels and releasing them. All the squirrels she rehabilitated learned that they could be regularly fed at her porch and would come up and eat out of her hand and such. It was pretty cool. * [[{{KamuiValentine}} This troper]] volunteers in raptor rehabilitation and is working on getting a full handling license. During a recent handling session a parent wanders in with a mid school student. The student proceeds to demand his dad buy him a pet Red Tailed Hawk. I explain how this is a bad idea, including how their talons are sharp and will not tell the difference between their food and their handler's stomach. Kid reconsidered pretty quickly. * This troper and his family lived in Kenya for two years, and I can vouch for the fact that not all wild animals are necessarily dangerous if approached carefully and respectfully. We saw lions close up, and my mother and sister petted a rhinoceros (I didn't want to). But the crowning example has to be a young hippo who was rejected by its herd when we were staying at a lakeside hotel. He took to prowling round the picnic area, in close proximity with the guests, and never harmed anyone. Nevertheless, the management got worried in case anything

happened, and they might have been forced to kill him but fortunately the herd took him back. We got some awesome photos before then though. * While visiting the night exhibit at the Henry Doorly Zoo, I noticed a couple beavers were eating unusually close to the walkway; my guess is a keeper got lazy and just dumped their goodies over the side. Said beavers were close enough to pet if one was tall enough (like me). Said beavers didn't even acknowledge being petted. Their fur feels somewhat like that of a thick-coated domestic dog. * This troper does own a wolf, albeit thoroughly cross bred with actual pet dogs down to only being an eighth wolf, if that, and raised for dozens of generations to be a pet enough to only arguably be a wolf, and he still prefers to be left alone most of the time. ** Doesn't that simply translate to: "a dog with a small amount of wolf in him"? Seems the effect of this trope is the same, though. With wolfdogs, the gamble is: "Will the genes for tameness be in effect?" Some wolfdogs seem to be fine, while others... not so much. * I work at a pet store, and have to deal with this every so often. Even with animals that might show up in pet shops commonly (corn snakes, for example), if you find one in the wild it's usually just best to leave it there if you have no experience with it. Here's a a few reasons for this: ** Lots of wild animals don't adjust well to captivity, and may refuse to eat or die of fright/stress. ** Some animals require permits to keep, or it may be illegal to move them from the wild at all. In many areas, box turtles are a good example of both cases. ** Baby animals CAN go back to their mother if you touch them. Birds in particular have an easy time with it - most birds have an extremely weak sense of smell, so mom probably won't even notice if her baby smells like a human. ** Wild animals often have germs that you may not know about until it's too late, including some nasty parasites. ** Finally, ANY ANIMAL CAN BITE YOU. And if it has teeth or an otherwise sharp mouth, it WILL hurt. So think twice before bringing home that baby snapping turtle. It's going to grow up into a huge, irritable, living bear-trap. * I once went on a behind-the-scenes tour of an Australian zoo, feeding many of the animals. We threw shrimp to the small-clawed otters. We gave pieces of fruit to the honey bears using tongs. We gave chicken wings to the ligers using barbecue tongs, standing as far from their bars as we could. We did the same to the cougars, except that it was welded mesh, not bars, and the cougars scared us white. We looked at the tiger from a great distance. We went ''into'' the dingoes' enclosure: the dingoes came up and leaned against our legs, wanting to be scratched; then we went on the rest of the tour and the dingoes ''came with us for a walk''. Dingoes were domesticated before they went feral. They can be tamed. ** Umm. The ones you meet in the wild ''haven't'' been tamed. This is worth bearing in mind. ** For reference, the troper in question has also been bitten by a giant fruit bat (almost as big as a cat!) while he was disentangling it from a barbed wire fence. (Those cute little fangs, on a ''fruit''

bat, went clean through a pigskin gardening glove.) * [[{{Tropers/Absynthe}} My mother]] was about six when her parents took a trip to Florida. Upon their return, she discovered Daddy had brought home a package with air holes poked in it. Turns out my grandfather brought home a freaking ''alligator'' to be the family pet. They built it a pen outside and they fed it hamburger off a pencil. All was well... until Tuffy escaped and decided to hide in the dryer. My grandmother nearly had a heart attack and my grandfather wisely donated the animal to a zoo. * [[{{Tropers/Gorank}} I]] managed to invert this trope. While visiting family in Chicago, I was walking around a pond, when I came to a part with a large group of geese. I was hesitant to continue, fearing I'd be mobbed by aggressive waterfowl, but I decided to risk it. I cautiously stepped forward, and the geese...walked out of the way when they felt I was too close, and otherwise ignored me. ** Reminds me of the time a flock of Canadian geese decided to take a breather on my college's open field, which is right in the middle of campus. They reacted to me like to the above troper, but it sure does liven up a dull day of study to walk through a whole friggin' field of Hugh-Jass wild geese! ** Geese that are used to people will generally ignore you so long as you don't make any sudden or aggressive movements. Still, you were wise to be cautious. A goose's wing can break bones, so giving them room is usually the best course of action. * While listening to the Bob&TomShow one day, they had Daniel Tosh on talking about Panda Bears for some reason. He asked "What's it going to do, adorable me to death?" Everybody in the studio had to remind him that IT'S A BEAR. * When I was quite young and at a wildlife conservation are, my family had tickets to a personal tour on a pickup truck. When we were in the field where the buffalo were kept, I was stupid and put my face about a foot from its head. In a very very big stroke of luck the buffalo did absolutely nothing, and not a hair on my head was harmed. Only later did I realize how stupid I'd been. (NOTE TO SELF: Don't get near really big wild animals.) * This troper once worked at a zoo camp one summer. There tou helped feed and take care of the animals. In ONE DAY this troper A: Nearly had his eyes poked out by a toucan B: Kicked in the stomach by a rabbit he was holding. And C: Finger was bitten by a chinchilla when he was told specificaly if he could pet it. * There's a buffalo ranch right outside town. * Once, while standing on a deck outside of my house, a bunch of crows swooped down close to me. I ducked down, but ''I felt the wind from the crows on my head.'' I then watched these same crows break walnuts. No doubt those beaks would have hurt. ** Also, once while going to the Outer Banks, I was on a ferry, and a flock of seagulls flew by us. Somebody tossed food to them, and the entire flock descended on us. You had to run to avoid getting jabbed with a beak. This has now become a RunningGag among my family, always referring to it as 'The Attack Of The Seagulls' or 'the time we were swarmed by those gulls'. * When he was very small, this troper was taken to a zoo. While

looking at the birds there, he saw a huge raven behind a cage. Because it seemed like a good idea at the time, this troper decided to reach through the bars of the cage and repeatedly ''poke the raven''. The raven tolerated this for about one second, before proceeding to bite me on the finger. Lesson learned: Don't piss off big scary-looking birds. * This troper once met a middle-aged, rather smelly lady who clearly wasn't to used to the woods on an old timber-road (It was mushroomseason) while walking the dog. she was highly agitated, and asked him to borrow his cellphone. Before she made the call, she explained that she and a friend had stopped to help a pregnant moose on the side of the road, and that it didn't seem to be doing well, so she had gone back towards their cars for her phone when she met me, leaving her friend to care for the moose. This troper told the lady to wait there, before tying up his dog and run up the road, hoping to prevent a disaster. Three minutes later, he runs into the ladys friend, and the stench of rotting meat. The woman is actually gently rubbing the bloated belly of a dead, rotting male moose, cooing softly as the air escaping from the animals belly makes a wheezing sound I cannot accurately describe... Just to hammer the point in... [[TooDumbToLive Two grown women, seeing what they think is a moose-cow giving birth, decide to try to help it, despite it being a wild animal, despite the very noticeable smell of rotting meat, failing to notice that it is both dead, and male, while touching it!]] * Strangely enough, there actually seems to be a scale on what level of tameness an animal has for it to be kept as a pet. Fennec foxes, a small wild fox that lives in the Sahara, are actually commercially distributed as exotic pets worldwide. There's actually a youtube account of a family that keeps them as pets (and they're freakin cute! However, they are aware that fennecs possess qualities that would make it hard for non-fennec owners to handle (they love to make burrows, and make loud painful screeching noises as a sign of affection). ** There are also youtube accounts of people possessing servals (along with their semi-domesticated hybrid brethren, Savannah cats). In fact, during history Ancient Egyptians worshipped servals and kept them as pets. ** And also a family with pet capybaras. In the videos they behave like overgrown dogs or pigs. And who doesn't think a capybara wearing a hat is cute! * Sea cows and dugongs. This troper has never encountered one but based on youtube videos of tourists swimming RIGHT UP and petting the completely wild ones shows that these animals are so docile they're basically floating condoms and is frankly surprised no one thought about domesticating them yet. * This troper was once with his class in the Zoo, specially in the Ape tract where some smaller apes were living free in a huuuuuge cage, with trees and stuff. All was well until a woman came in with her kid in one of those baby cars. The apes lunged at the car and within 5 seconds were there about 20 apes on it. Naturally the woman was shocked and scared for her baby, who started crying of getting ape ass in its face. Fortunately they only wanted to play and didn't do

anything. Still, there was a sign outside to prevent that from happening... * This troper took a trip to the Smoky Mountains in Tennessee. We went though Cades Cove, a sheltered valley that was home to the original settlers and a great place to see wildlife. At one point in the drive (one-lane country road), a huge amount of cars were blocking the road; a crowd of people were pointing towards the field. A doe and her fawn were out in the meadow a fairly safe distance away, and we thought that was what folks were watching. We got out to get pics, got up behind the crowd...and that's when we saw the mama bear and her cubs, less than a couple yards away. I went, "You people are effin' CRAZY" and my husband and I high-tailed it back into the car and sat with windows cracked for ventilation, waiting for the screams to start. Road blocked; couldn't drive off. Luckily rangers showed up and started to order people away from the bears and back to their cars -but then one [[TooDumbToLive idiot man]] started arguing with the ranger, right next to our car: "I pay my taxes! You can't keep me away from them! Those bears won't hurt anyone!"... * While visiting a national park in Georgia, I asked a park staffer why she was watching the harmless-looking picnic area. She said it was because the water was close enough that alligators sometimes came ashore, and she had to be there to stop people from doing stupid things, like feeding the gators or ''putting their children on the alligators to take their pictures''. As someone who grew up in Florida where gator safety is taught like road safety rules anywhere else, I was aghast that she was serious. * This troper, as a camp counselor, was once charged by an enraged, growling... groundhog. In a camp full of bobcat tracks, wolf howls, and bear sightings, it was the scariest wildlife encounter I know of. * This Troper delivers newspapers, and once encountered a moose near a heavily wooded neighborhood early in the morning. I froze out of fear when it came close to me, and nearly collapse with relief when it just snorted next to my face and moved on. * Inverted. Used to be scared stiff of domesticated dogs, until enough friendly contact with them lessened the fear. * Crowning Moment of Funny - My brother getting punched in the gut by a joey he was trying to pet. * Subverted. I once took a shortcut through a field of bulls as a kid. Most likely the fact I didn't realize I was in danger kept me out of danger as herbivores = sensitive to body language and I wasn't interested in them. * My family, on a road trip through the American midwest, nearly hit a turtle on the road. My father likes turtles, in fact we own a number of box turtles, which are fairly harmless, so he pulled over and went back to carry the turtle off the highway and out of danger. Bad idea. He barely avoided getting his hand bitten off as the turtle jumped nearly a foot straight up and snapped at him. We then saw it ''attempt to bite a Jeep that drove over it''. We decided the turtle was able to take care of itself and drove away. * Inverted with this troper, who was bit by a ''hamster'' in a petting zoo when he was a kid. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensued]] when this troper, as a reflex, let out a yelp and '''tossed''' the hamster away

from himself. * On a trip to African lion Safari (where people drive through the park in their cars; it's safe so long as people ''stay in their cars''), this troper saw other visitors feeding the giraffes and zebras, despite all the signs saying not to feed the animals... as well as someone who honked at a group of bison, causing the alpha male to charge the visitors' van and damage it heavily. The tour guide said that a few weeks ago, there was someone who got of their car to pet the "cute kitty". The cute kitty in question was a lion. ---Hey, is that a link back to AllAnimalsAreDomesticated behind that cute polar bear cub? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AllAnimationIsDisney * Averted for [[DiscoGlacier this troper]], who somehow always knew that some animated films like ''TheLandBeforeTime'' and ''AnAmericanTail'' were ''not'' Disney films, either because of the Universal/WB/etc. logo before each film, or because those films were never associated with Disney. In fact, I was genuinely ''surprised'' when I found ''AnAmericanTail'' playing on ToonDisney! ** Hilariously inverted, however, when this troper's dad pointed to a ''ThePrincessAndTheFrog'' poster and asked, "Is that a {{Pixar}} film?" ** Oh, you too? It's not even a conscious thing. Even when [[Tropers/{{Animenutcase}} this troper]] was little, she could tell Disney films from others. It wasn't even the logo (what kid cares about that?), I just sorta knew. On the other hand, I tend to categorize animation movies as "Disney" and "Not Disney", so that might not be much better. And I was still surprised to learn that TheBraveLittleToaster was a Disney film. *** Depends on how you define "Disney film", actually. According to TheOtherWiki, ''Brave Little Toaster'' was only ''distributed'' by Disney and made by Hyperion Pictures and The Kushner-Locke Company. **** Perhaps that's why I had trouble? It just didn't ''feel'' like a Disney film. * I tried to explain to one of my friends that {{Anastasia}} is a Don Bluth film, not Disney. ** I tried to do the same thing with my Social Studies teacher. Did ''you'' suceed? ** This troper thought Anastasia was a Disney princess and went to the Disney store in third grade to find that there was no Anastasia stuff. The store employee told me Anastasia wasn't from Disney. I then asked my sister and she told me the same thing. So...I just believed them. Huh. * This troper could tell simply by the animation on some film adverts on which was Disney and which wasn't, even when she first saw them. And like most who can tell the difference, she also annoyed a small deal of friends who were also convinced (like most) that Anastasia is Disney. Same goes for {{Thumbelina}}.

* This Troper's dad will only watch Disney animated films. Any other animated film is pure garbage. He actually likes RockADoodle though, and has always said it's one of his favorite ''Disney'' movies (don't ask, just go with it). However, when I informed him that ''Rock a Doodle'' is actually a ''Don Bluth'' film, he pretty much changed his opinion. One time, just to be a smart aleck, asked if he wanted to watch Rock-a-Doodle (it was airing on TV once), and he said, "Nah, find a Disney movie to watch". * [[Tropers/IronicMouse This troper]] actually thought ThePrinceOfEgypt was Disney when it first came out. I learned better pretty quickly, though. * At school, this troper's teacher was talking about the Russian Revelution, and he brought up Anastasia. He said even though it's horribly inaccurate with history, it was a great ''Disney'' film. I told him it was a Don Bluth movie, but right after I told him, he kept calling it Disney! GAAAAAAAHHHH! * This troper witnessed an inversion at the forum of ThatGuyWithTheGlasses: someone included ''{{Fantasia}}'' on a list of the best non-Disney animated movies. [[{{Facepalm}} You'd think the strong presence of Mickey Mouse would be enough to tip off Disney's involvement with the movie that people who don't like fairy tales keep saying is Disney's best...]] * I remember being surprised when I first learned that ''TheNightmareBeforeChristmas'' is Disney. I didn't recognize Touchstone at all for many things, but it's actually a Disney-owned home video distributor. * At one point this troper thought The Secrets of Nihm was a Disney movie and not a Don Bluth movie. I always wondered it was never part of the Disney franchise or even mentioned until I became older. It actually would be nice if it was a Disney film, to at least show that even kid's animation can be dirty and serious when it wants to make a point. ** Why does not being Disney mean it doesn't show that? * A girl at my elementary school kept on insisting ScoobyDoo is a Disney character, and DonaldDuck is an MGM. False belief for both. * This troper's friend considers herself to be a huge Disney fan. Despite the fact, for a long time, ThePagemaster was her favorite Disney movie... A movie that was made under 20th Century Fox. *{{Facepalm}}* * When SuperBowl XLV was running, [[{{Tropers/Fungal88}} this tropette]] overheard her mother talking on the phone while she was watching it about {{Balto}} after her sister told her about it when she heard about the historic events it was based off of as they were mentioned in an episode of ''Dogs 101'' that aired on AnimalPlanet earlier that day, and her mother claimed it to be a Disney film. * My dad used to belive Shrek was a Pixar film, but I quick;y corrected him, and he actually belived me. ** My mom also thought Anastasia was a Disney film, but to be fair she has never seen it before. * My mom once suggested to me during 'movie night' that we watch a {{Pixar}} movie. I liked the idea, and let her choose what she wanted to see. What movie did she pick? ''Film/{{Avatar}}''. I quickly

corrected her. * [[Tropers/{{ptitletlypxope}} This troper]] remembers one straight example and one live-action case. In the former, he and his father were watching ''Swan Princess II''. When his mother came in and asked what they were watching, his father replied "low budget Disney". In the latter, a member of his extended family (the troper can't remember who it was) thought CatsAndDogs was a Disney film. ** Same troper again. I recently recalled hearing my mother say a friend of hers thought ''{{Rango}}'' was a Pixar film. This troper himself also once thought ''{{Family Guy}}'' was a Disney series, but that's because he confused it with ''{{The Proud Family}}''. * This troper has heard [[Film/HowToTrainYourDragon How to Train Your Dragon]] credited to both Disney and Pixar at separate times. * This troper's art teacher thinks Despicable me was a Pixar film. * Edgy is master of averting this for people. I know Don Beuth when I see it. ---No, the main AllAnimationIsDisney page was ''not'' made by Disney.

AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles * What is it with pokemon being demonic? My parents don't mind anime at all, grant it they rarely watch any with me, but on occasion they'll sit in an episode. Any way I watch baccano with my 11 year old sister, fine. Introduce 9 year old brother to dragon ball, fine. If pokemon (or even odder sailor moon) horror of horrors, we're actually watching somthing demonic or satanic. I've never been able to really enjoy pokemon anyway, but sailor moon is rather fun. Dragon Ball and Baccano were mentioned because I know my parents saw an episode or to and signed off on my sharing it with younger siblings, I doubt they would sign off on Haruhi, or Code Geass. Yes there decision making criterion is rather odd. Any way my point is someone is spreading around this demon pokemon idea, and lots of parents have caught it. ** ...they don't mind Baccano? For an ''eleven'' year old? I'm guessing they didn't see an episode that had Claire or Ladd in it. >_> * This once got into a fight with her friends when she first started watching anime. They said "All anime is violent and bloody and porn". She's really glad she moved. * [[Troper/NeoEevee This troper]] (who has gone to Christian private school since 7th grade, prior to which she was homeschooled) had an 8th grade teacher who played this trope straight: he took a look at a copy of the DeathNote manga I'd brought to school, sent a note home to my mother (who was totally okay with me reading it) and banned it from the classroom. That along with Harry Potter (and yet a classmate of mine got away with Kami-ChamaKarin...). However, my 9th grade world history teacher caught me reading '''{{Hellsing}}''', of all things. To put this in perspective: equally conservative teachers (granted, my history teacher had about twenty more years experience under his belts); one slams a manga that's rated for older teens for it's rather dark storyline, death-related themes, debatable morals, and CreepyCoolCrosses, but is for the most part bloodless and has the occasional "damn" thrown in. The other teacher takes a manga that is,

amongst other things; about vampires, that drops {{Cluster F Bomb}}s with little regard, has gory battles that end in a body parts scattered as far as the eye can see, explicit rape threats (remember, DeathNote has things like that implied but never stated outright), and much heavier religous imagery; it also characterizes nearly all the Catholic cast as psychotic fanatics. He flips through it, hands it back to me, and says, "well, that's cool." Yeah, I was quite surprised (and relieved). ** Also, I'm now getting the oppratunity to rant about how anime is not all hentai in my speech class. * [[@/{{GeneralKrad}} This troper's]] brother has a classmate at his highschool who believes anime is nothing but hentai, period... ** He actually said that watch Naruto if you want to see rape, or DBZ for tentacle porn...that kid is truly a sad case. *** Show him {{Aria}}. ** This kid must of never seen a anime in his life. * [[@/{{LadyAmi}} This troper]] grew up watching Sailor Moon and Totoro with her father. As she got older, she moved on into bigger and better things, from Neon Genesis Evangelion to Elfen Lied. Enter highschool, where everyone thought she had a sick, sick mind (despite her SHOWING THEM OTHERWISE) for reading a volume of FMA. She's thought about reading Loveless in school just for the shock value. ** Same troper. Apparently, it's ALL comics and anime/manga is porn. Everyone in her biology class felt obliged to tell her that Watchmen was all about sex and "some naked blue guy". * [[@/{{Dysfunctional}} This troper's]] mother was actually always ok with pretty much anything i wanted to read(i mean hell she stole my dads collection of american comics when they split up and gave them to me around the time i was 10..... including the Lobo comics), watch, or listen too. and she used to buy me mangas all the time...... i think she may have started regretting that when she found the porn on my computer * This troper once had a boy in my grade grab a volume of Pita Ten out of her hands and flip through it, only to turn straight to a page with full-frontal female nudity (albeit, drawn in extremely moe anime style). Well, then that boy started telling every other boy in my class that Japanese comics were all naughty and, needless to say, most of my classmates now tend to avoid manga. It's pretty sad, actually. * It's not a good sign when politicians get involved in this. ** Things will get much uglier if you see [[ xample+of+why+two+nukes+just+wasn%27t+enough%22&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&gs_ rfai= how people reacted to that]] (note the IGN Boards). * This troper recalls a {{troll}} who made a {{Facebook}} group stating that [[FanHater people who watch anime and cosplay are freaks/losers]]. Said troll threw around the word "hentai" like a synonym for "anime." Eventually, the people protesting the group (this troper included) stopped taking him seriously. ** Also, one of his friends is a seller of ero-games (I'm getting tired of saying "hentai") and ero-anime at anime conventions. Even ''he'' thinks ''FateStayNight'' is full-blown hentai.

'''[[SuperSmashBros FAILURE.]]''' *** This troper wonders if it was an example of obvious trolling that was not understood, as explained by the xkcd quote on the Troll page... * This troper's father was convinced that "all manga series are violent". I told him that that statement was about as true as saying "all live-action movies are violent", and then patiently educated him that manga actually have a rating applied to them, which I showed him, along with the separate "œmature manga"&#65533; section in the bookstore, for those rated M. He seems to be assured that I'm not buying anything inappropriate after my mom confirmed that all the manga she'd ever bought for me wasn't rated over "older teen"&#65533; (though some of it is ecchi, so I'm glad he didn't actually flip through [[{{KenAkamatsu}} certain series]] I own. * One [=WebSense=]-type internet filter [[@/{{Midna}} this troper]] has come into contact with blocks any and all websites that has something to do with anime, because, apparently, it falls under "Adult Themes, Nudity". When I was trying to find a perfectly work-safe screenshot of [[AzumangaDaioh Osaka]]. PublicMediumIgnorance, or a sinister conspiracy designed to program our brains into thinking that even the most family-friendly Japanese cartoon is hentai? ...Probably the former, but hey, people get bored. * Everyone this troper knows either thinks anime is all cute and innocent like {{Pokemon}} or {{Naruto}} or it is dark, bloody and inappropriate for children. ** They so need to go read AlienNine or watch WhenTheyCry...both have both balled into one! ** Naruto is cute and innocent? *** Decapitations, murders, torture, some really creepy pedo-subtext. Limbs being broken off, human puppets, enough blood to float the Titanic. You know, for kids. *** Naruto is ''idealistic'', but it's not innocent, so it's not okay for ''young'' children. It's probably appropriate for younger teens than many things that are less violent but more cynical. YourMileageMayVary on whether a little gore and mayhem is more deleterious to children than soul-crushing despair and misanthropy, though. (Can you tell [[WriterOnBoard where this troper stands?]]) * [[@/BTIsaac This troper]] once found an "All Anime Sucks" stamp on DeviantArt. The one who made it justified his dislike for anime using this remark. When I told him he's prejudiced, he retorted, saying that "underage schoolgirls getting raped" is a general description that fits anime in general, therefore, he's right, adding that it's a shame good American comics get neglected in favor of anime. Guess how he reacted when I said american comics are about "spandex-clad men on steroids crushing steel chairs on each other's heads". ** tell. ** DHTW? ** For the record, trying to back up your point by [[KarmicTransformation doing exactly what he did]] was a poor decision, partially because you were [[ just]] [[CalvinAndHobbes as]] [[TheFarSide incorrect]] as he was.

*** [[CompletelyMissingThePoint Which was more or less the point]]. **** Reflecting similar feelings towards someone in the hopes that they'll be able to emphasize with your point of view is, in this case, well-meaning. It also tends to not work. * This troper made the mistake of bringing a manga volume to youth group one day, just for something to read during downtime. Of course, the only time anyone bothered to look over my shoulder at what I was reading came when I reached the part about the magic ritual, in which the female lead was naked (albeit with AnimeAnatomy). Mine youth pastor, who's something of a JerkJock, immediately took it and made with the holier-than-thou speeches, and threatened to show my mom. I told him to go ahead. He did so, in a tone that suggested I was depraved for even looking at the thing in first place. Thankfully my mom, while about as ignorant of the medium as he was, was at least level-headed enough to ask me if it contained anything she would find inappropriate. I answered honestly that it didn't, and she took the book back from the youth pastor and told him to mind his own business next time. I love my mom. ** This situation would also apply to regular non-manga comic books too then. Pastors are all very...holier than thou. It doesnt have to be a manga with transformation sequences, as I have found while sitting on a bus, even a normal generic comic book can get the attention of pastors... *** Not even just the pastors. This Troper remembers reading a letter written in to Focus on the Family "Plugged In" magazine, in response to an article about manga and anime. I missed the main article, but the letter basically was how the writer was considered a "comic nerd" by her friends, but refuses to read any anime because it is all "perverse" and "immoral". Yeah, there's a reason that I don't have any respect left for that group of crazies. **** This troper agrees in principle, but hastens to add that most reviews in that sort of magazine are geared to people who don't ''have'' the time to check it out for themselves. Anime and manga frequently ''are'' inappropriate, even if they don't look it at first (I once recommended Gensomaden Saiyuki to an eleven- or twelve-yearold without having read [[BrotherSisterIncest the chapters about Hakkai's past]]). Even the ''best'' anime and manga aren't worth screwing your kids up, so avoiding them altogether is a wiser policy if you're too busy to vet them thoroughly—you know, like if you ''work for a living'' or something. "Exposure to a wide variety of media" is too often treated as a religion, and persecuted for. It's goddamn comics and television, not the meaning of life. ***** Um, how does showing your kids something unpleasant going to screw them up? They're going to find out eventually, hiding the real world from them isn't helping them, it's setting them up for more failure down the line. Also, how the hell is anime worse then TV or movies? The majority has sex, violence, swearing and other "adult" themes, sorry to bring this up, but a lot of media for kids is badly made because they know kids won't complain about shitty entertainment. I'd rather my kids swear then watch bad tv. ***** Like the visualization of the atom, this explanation isn't going to be a perfect reflection of the actual ideas of said parents. But

I'm going to give it my damned best. Imagine a child's mind/values is a wall of mud; not very good at keeping hurricane floods out. That's exactly what parents view certain levels of "negative", "violent", or "sexual" content. In this theory as a person develops, their understanding of the world solidifies, becomes less mailable. The mud wall turns to sand bags, then to cement, if you will. The parents fear if the hurricane hits before they become sandbags, that it will leave a permanent gouge, and the wall will finish forming with a gaping hole (a weakness or habit of immorality) that the child will have to work much harder to repair as an adult. The goal isn't to prevent exposure for life, but to allow the child time to develop without commercialized over-sexualization shoved in their face. Yes, they will be exposed to it eventually, but the parents want them to not be suckers for the market's ploys. This is a hard line to walk; too little exposure and the child never develops past mud, too much and the wall breaks. As for how anime is "worse", TV is something they are familiar with, they know the cues that often signal the "negative", "violent", or "sexual" content to come. It's not that it's more evil, it's that they are limiting the child to area's they can make semireliable snap decision in instead of having to learn a whole new lexicon. Sounds prudent to me, even if it does segregate off a world of fantastic storytelling (for a time). To an exhausted and over-busy parent, it just doesn't justify the effort when there are other options available. One last note: the control and regulation of sexual content in manga/anime is much more loose due to Japan's sexual culture; this is a hot-button issue for most of the religious folk you're thinking of. Since it is harder to be informed of the content... well, from their point of view, it makes even more sense to just ban the medium. Sad? Yeah, but like the above said, it's not like we're talking about a life here, even if us fans can get... passionate. (Don't get me wrong, a good story deserves it!) ** Though don't make the assumption that all Christians/pastors are that way. Most of my {{Nakama}} are devout Christians, and we all go to conventions together. And one of us is planning to become a youth pastor; her favorite manga is InuYasha. ** Heh. This troper had a similar experience when his friend brought the entire series of ''RurouniKenshin'' into class. Our teacher took an interest and asked what it was about, then picked up a volume and flipped through it. In an incredible stroke of bad luck, though, the page he managed to turn to was the scene where Kawatari (the VillainousCrossdresser) was... ahem, proving his biological gender to Misao and Kaoru, [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean if you know what I mean]]. He was pretty cool about it, but it did leave him thinking that we were reading ecchi manga - and couldn't have been further off the mark. * This troper has to be very careful to hide her anime and manga as her parents think its either all full of cute cartoony animals or filthy devil worshipping orgies. * This troper once lent a friend a copy of the Wolf and Spice manga which has a few scenes with a naked wolf-girl goddess but nothing that bad. Her parents found it and declared that I was a bad influence on her, trying to corrupt her mind with porn and satanic worship. ** I can understand the "porn" part of their accusations...but where

did they get "satanic worship" from?? I thought she was a goddess. *** A ''pagan'' goddess. ** It is pretty anti-Christian, though probably excusable inasmuch as the Japanese know about as much about Christianity as JackChick knows about Shinto, and are only slightly more knowledgeable about European history. * This Troper got into anime when she was around the fifth grade, and her mother, after they both going to their first anime convention, thought it was 'demonic satan worship' or something along those lines. She was also paranoid about Yaoi when she asked about it at the convention. After watching half of the first InuYasha movie, that certainly didn't help. Even now she believes the posters of Naruto and HaruhiSuzumiya are 'scaring' her daughter at night, even though an anxiety disorder is probably to blame. I've not even gone near the subject of hentai yet. She doesn't know it exists, and I plan to keep it that way. * When this troper's parents suggested we watch the first season of Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu he got for Hanukkah, he silently laughed nervously. He sat through the...err...grouptacular first few episodes, hoping to the gods that his parents would make it to Yuki's exposition at the beginning of the third episode and not immediately pass it off as Mikuru's Breasts - The Series. His mom made it and is now hooked. His dad... ** Yes, Go on... ** Presumably, he immediately passed it off as Mikuru's Breasts - The Series and refused to watch past the first couple of episodes. * Half of this troper's family was convinced nearly every anime was one of the following: Evil, Satanic, Violent, or a [[ViewersAreMorons "Bad Influence"]]. Remarkably, the other half is just fine with anything anime/manga related. * Even though this troper had been watching Toonami, DragonBallZ and SailorMoon for months at the time, her father's first reaction to her looking through the anime section at Blockbuster was to pull her away, explaining that "It's all for grown-ups; you're too young for that stuff." ** To be fair, every Blockbuster ''this'' troper has been to seems to use the anime section as the place to cram any animated work too violent/sexy to place in the family section, regardless of national origin. * This troper has a roommate who used to strongly believe that all anime that was brought into North America was heavily censored to be apporpriate for kids, this includes {{FanSub}}s. Naturally I showed him ElfenLied and EndOfEvangelion. That partially changed his tune but I can't shake his belief that the cast of SailorMoon are drug addicted prostitutes who are regularly raped by the monsters they fight. ** He must read a lot of ero-doujins. * This Troper's mother is a strange case. When troper was small and considered MyNeighborTotoro as one of her favorite movies, mom was fine. Fast forward to troper being about eight and obsessed with {{Pokemon}} and SailorMoon. Mom's fine. Middle school, troper starts borrowing other manga from her friend-- mainly {{Inuyasha}}. Mom no longer approving, just indifferent. High school. Troper joins anime

club. Mom rolls eyes. Troper becomes major fan of FullmetalAlchemist. Mom wonders vaguely what it's about and is satisfied with vague answer. Over the course of four years of high school, Mom's attitude goes ''really'' sour: by the end of senior year, troper's been forbidden from bringing manga into the house, lectured on how "there are some perverse things about the Japanese culture" and how "it's ''all'' objectifying women" and the only way to watch a ''Miyazaki'' film without a lecture is for it to be Dad's idea. Considering that troper never read anything explicit at all, troper ''still'' has no idea where the sudden attitude change came from. ** Possibly similar to where my mom got her ideas. She said once that I shouldn't read too much (read: hardly any) manga since it's "not real books" and could HURT MY CHANCES OF GETTING INTO COLLEGE! Because they might want a list of all the books I've read (FYI, they didn't and I got in. Yet there's no problem with me reading American comics. *** Did they even consider most colleges have anime clubs and occasionally even anime-related courses these days? * This troper is fortunate in that his mother is under the impression that all anime is 'stupid (read: nonsensical) Pokemon'. His father is indifferent. * When [[@/JapaneseTeeth this troper]] was a kid, he met one of his parents' coworkers who believed that {{Pokemon}} was about demonic forces. In more recent years, he specifically keeps a volumes of YotsubaTo around just in case he ever needs to defend himself from this trope. * One time my stepfather looked over my shoulder while I was watchig Trigun, and asked: "Are you watching those Japanese porn stuff again?" I tried to explain that it was not pornographic and said that "it's about a really idealistic guy who tries to save people all the time," and he actually believed me. And then told me that I'm far too old to watch superhero series, and should switch to hentai as soon as possible. Freak. ** Awesome. * An odd example: [[@/DarthSaturnina This troper]] and her girlfriend are both devoted anime fans, but the troper once made the innocuous (in context) remark that sometimes she watches bad hentai just to make fun of it; conversation ensued, during which I mentioned the censorship laws and stated that the naughty bits were pixellated. It was then revealed that the girlfriend had thought that all ''hentai'' is naughty tentacles. * During after-school English tutoring to complete an essay my friend had a laptop out, looking through her backgrounds. She's as much of an Anime fan as me and most of her wallpapers were Naruto or something else, all SFW since the teachers can see ''everything'' a person has accessed or saved. Some nearby guys looked over and spied a totally innocent picture of Naruto looking badass, exclaiming that we were looking at porn. The teacher ignored them (thank God) while I facepalmed. * An inversion as witnessed by this troper - his father staunchly believes all animation (including anime) is exclusively children's entertainment, so the old man was completely enraged at the sight of a {{Hentai}} game running on this troper's desktop PC, calling it

"stupid". ** His (female) cousin is a mixed bag - for her, either anime is children's entertainment if it's "clean", or it's "porn" at the slightest {{Ecchi}} content even if it's not {{Hentai}}. Which title did she accuse of being "porn?" AiYoriAoshi. *** Hilariously, that same cousin judged RumblingHearts to be a children's title when this troper asked her to buy the [=DVDs=] for him, not realizing that the title began life as a {{Hentai}} game. * [[CovertPervert This troper wishes.]] * This troper's father is an odd example case of "All Anime Is PoorlyMade Cartoons": he doesn't believe anime to be all adult or all kiddie material. Rather, he refuses to watch it at all due to "low animation quality." Now, he grew up during the era of shows like SpeedRacer, so his biased opinion has some grounding, but even with more modern shows he can't even get around something like simplistic mouth movements. My attempts to get him to understand that the point of a cartoon, like any medium, is the content (citing animes with epic stories or lots of action), have failed with him saying dismissively, "You have to be able to LOOK at it first." Never mind that lots of anime shows today are of very HIGH quality. I usually don't bother anymore, as my dad really only consents to watching older Loony Toons shows and thinks they're the pinnacle of cartoons in both animation and content. (Not to say that I think those shows are bad, mind you.) ** Is your father [[JohnKricfalusi John Kricfalusi?]] ** Is your father my father? ** No, I am your father! *** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! * [[Tropers.DragonMaster This Troper]] experienced a slightly less extreme example. I was reading a copy of FruitsBasket when a friend asked to have look, so I handed it to him. He and a couple of his friends flicked to a page with Rin either naked (or not wearing much I can't remember). Said friends look at me, and then back to the page. The one who asked to see it handed it back to me saying "[he liked] Manga now". I told him it wasn't all like that. He didn't really care. * When This Troper first brought in his Haruhi Suzumiya light novels to school, word quickly spread that I had "Japanese porn books". Granted, it didn't help that the back of the book has a picture of Haruhi stripping down Mikuru... ** Weird, This troper was able to bring those into school,and nobody cared. ** Crazy, a lot of my friends at school are fans of Haruhi, and I actually lent the first book to one of them. * This Troper brought the Haruhi manga to school (Volume 3, with Yuki on the cover :D), he was idiotic enough to read it in the JerkAss teacher's class. The teacher responded by taking it and putting it in the most noticeable place possible on the ground. Hilariously enough, I was more pissed off that he got the cover dirty (I'm VERY PROTECTIVE of my possessions. Headphones, books, game systems.... Anything), but... Everyone thinks anime is either shit like Naruto, or full-blown pr0n. (Which is semi-justified, as everyone ELSE actually does bring those kinds of series to school!) * During my anime fangirl phase we had a lesson in school on the jobs

we wanted to do later on in life. I made the mistake of saying I wanted to be a manga artist.. * This troper goes to high school. After saying that she watched [[Revolutionary Girl Utena]] and its movie in the holidays, and describing some of its content, everyone now thinks I spend my days looking at lesbian anime porn. * At this troper's former high school, most of her classmates knew of anime as "cartoons from China that were either cutesy Digimon or something seething with random tentacle rapings". To make matters worse my very religious mother thinks Pokemon and basically any other anime are Satanic. FacePalm * I was at Best Buy with a friend and bought a DVD of Ninja Nonsense. When I got home my mom saw what I got and she instantly thought it was porn. It took me a bit to convince her it wasn't and my brothers won't stop bringing it up. * This Troper has a classmate who, upon seeing his workspace covered in HidamariSketch, SuzumiyaHaruhi, LuckyStar, {{Popotan}}, OnePiece, TengenToppaGurrenLagann and GaoGaiGar, commented "why do all of these look like porn?" ** Well, {{Popotan}} was ''based'' on porn... * Interesting aversion in this troper's case, it wasn't me, but my little (at the time, 12 year old) sister that got into anime and manga first. She checked out FruitsBasket from the library and read it, became an instant fangirl, and insisted I (18 at the time) read it. I did, and now I peruse the anime and manga shelves of media stores too. Our parents looked through the issue of FruitsBasket with Rin in it who is not wearing much (read, nothing) in one panel. But, since it was my sister who started the manga craze at my house, it was fine, after all, she obviously didn't get it for [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean that kind of thing.]] Hence, mom is fine with all manga and anime, Ecchi or not, and dad calls it 'Nintendo Mitsubishi' shows/books. Cause, you know, Nintendo and Mitsubishi are japanese, and so is anime and manga. They must be the same! ** GENIUS! * This troper is somewhat lucky. To his mother, all anime is "strange Japanese cartoons," but she doesn't have an actual ''problem'' with it at all. * Aversion on this troper's part. Nobody in my family knows about the existence of Yaoi, Yuri, Hentai, or Ecchi. [[YuriFan Now I just have to]] [[GirlOnGirlIsHot keep them secret.]] * [[Tropers/JenKunoichi351 My]] school blocks all anime websites because of adult art. Yes, even the [[TheMelancholyofHaruhiSuzumiya SOS Brigade]] website that has, like, six pictures. * My parents know that my sister and I love manga, but my mom is the one that usually buys it for us around Christmas/our birthdays. Last Christmas I got a particularly-hilarious inversion--My mom called to say that she was in FYE Movies and asked what anime [=DVDs=] I wanted for Christmas. I asked her to read out the titles. There was Bleach, Naruto, and a few others that I can't really remember, but she stopped at one: [[StrawberryPanic Strawberry Panic]]. Now, at the time I'd only heard about the series, so I looked it up on Wikipedia and discovered that it was Shoujo Ai. Not that I have any problems with

it. I just felt ''really'' uncomfortable with my mom trying to buy it for me. I said that I wasn't very interested and she bought my sister two [=DVDs=] of Mahou Sensei Negima!...and one of them had the famous girl-girl kissing scene. And she still has no idea. Apparently, she has no idea that porn in anime exists. And I'm not complaining. * One of my friends thought this, when another friend of ours said he was into anime. Most of his IS porn though...but thats just the way he is. * This misconception is a possible reason why [[{{Tropers/Fungal88}} this tropette]] decided to wait until she turned eighteen to get interested in anime because it's obviously a "big magic number" for plenty of other things in the United States besides just being able to vote, that is, without even knowing that seventeen is the age of consent in [[NewYorkState her jurisdiction]], although she wasn't fully registered until she was twenty, just about a month before the 2008 Presidential Election. ** However, since she decided to wait until she hit that milestone to get into anime, it seemed difficult for her to sit through an "old school" theme that her community college's anime club once had, which meant that the club was going to be watching episodes of GatewaySeries that she was supposedly uninterested in during her tween and adolescent years not just because of her concerns about content that she was yet to handle at that time along with thinking that ItsPopularNowItSucks. * This troper knows of at least one book store where the manga section has big 'WARNING: MAY NOT BE APPROPRIATE FOR CHILDREN AND PRE-TEENS!' stickers all over the shelves. The "Love and Erotica" section? No such warning. * This Troper once brought his [[Scott Pilgrim]] volume 3 novel that he had bought the previous weekend to school. I started reading it in the locker room, someone caught a glimpse of the woman on the back cover, and word got out that I was reading some kind of Japanese porno, even though Scott Pilgrim bears no resemblance to Manga whatsoever. ** Yes, it does, but regardless, that person's an idiot. ** That's high school for ya. * Inverted with my parents. They have absolutely no problem with me watching anime, but they view all American comics without Batman or Superman on the cover as torture porn (which they got from hearing what Alan Moore's works were about). * Inverted by my mom, since she used to watch ''MagicKnightRayearth'' * [[{{Tropers/Neves783}} I]], a college student and a member of the school's anime club, got bullied recently because of this. They pestered me with questions related to hentai (Ex: "What is Ero?", probably about Jiraiya from ''{{Naruto}}''). They even said that ''{{Full Metal Panic}}'' '''IS HENTAI!''' (It's more like ecchi, actually.) * Despite all attempts to get his friends to watch/read real anime/manga that [[{{Tropers/Ledge}} This Troper]] believes to be truly creative works -- AiYoriAoshi, DeathNote, {{Chobits}}, BlackLagoon -- the inevitable reaction is "where's the porn." Even trying to get people to read TanakaYutaka's wonderful ero work, the

inevitable reaction is "where are the tentacles." I'm not sure whether I am happy or sad that the one anime I've been able to consistently get people interested in is [[BludgeoningAngelDokuroChan Bokusatsu Tenchi Dokuru-chan.]] On the one hand, it's hilariously awesome and totally worth watching, on the other, it's BloodyHilarious and probably just reinforces the stereotype that all anime is either full of tentacles, breasts and/or blood. And I have mixed feelings about even remaining friends with people who can't find ''{{Yotsubato}}'' worth reading. * This troper was just reading this page the other day. The ''very'' next day in class, a subversion occurred where some classmate opened a part of my bag which was in my desk in front of me. Not that I minded but since I knew I had some ''{{Hellsing}}'' someone else lend me to watch weeks ago, I, being kind of GenreSavvy saw this trope coming. Another classmate who also watched anime was sitting next to me. It went something like: -->'''Classmate A''': *Opens the bag and peeks a bit* -Troper- has porn! -->'''Classmate B (next to me)''': WHAT -->'''This Troper''': (Totally saw that one coming) -->'''Classmate A''': Oh wait it's just what... Naruto? No, ''Hellison''? -->'''This Troper and Classmate B''': LOLWAT *cracking up at "Hellison". -->'''Classmate B''': ''HELLSING''. -->'''Classmate A''': I mean "Hellsing"! She then proceeded to ask us (mostly to him responding) odd questions about why we liked to watch that kind of stuff. Now I always refer to the series as Hellison. * This troper epically averted this trope in college. TWICE. Both times, in college, Anime was used as the topic for a report. THe first time was during an Art class, in which my CATHOLIC NUN professor was amazed at my artistic analysis of Anime and Manga. The second time, my highly conservative, Mr. Heaney-look-a-like philiosophy teacher asked me where he could by Haruhi Suzumiya after I astounded him with a detailed discussion about why Haruhi would give Niezche an anurism. * This troper was watching an episode of [[AzumangaDaioh Azumanga Daioh]] when his father walked by. The following conversation-->'''Father''': What are you doing? -->'''Troper''': Just watching some anime. -->'''Father''': Oh. *inspects screen* Which one gets raped? -->'''Troper''': [[FlatWhat What.]] * To this troper, it happened once while buying Manga. So I'm in the mall, and there is a comic book store that also sells manga. No big deal since they have all kinds of manga and a lot fo people go there to buy them. At the time, I was buying Higurashi manga, Watanagashihen more specifically. After I paid, I went outside and sat on a bench and started to read a bit, and some girl I never met suddenly comes up to me and says: "What are you reading? A book about dildos?". Exactly like that. I then angrily told her that it was a horror, and then she left. Seriously, one small look on the cover and instantly its about dildos? How retardedly ignorant can people get??? I then have this

subverted with my parents, who gladly watched Evangelion with me, more so because I recommended it to my mother because she is writing a book about philosophy, so I told her Evangelion would give her some ideas. She thanked me immensly. * This troper knows this all too well. ''Everyone'' I went to Middle School thought anime was either {{Naruto}} or {{Hentai}}. Sans a conversation between me and my rather stupid classmate. -->''Me'': *watching anime attentively* -->''Classmate'': OH MY GOD! ___ is watching '''ANIME PORN'''! -->''Me'': No. Does '''''this''''' look like ''porn'' to you? -->''Classmate'': MISS _____! She's '''watching porn'''. -->''Me'': '''''THIS IS NOT FUCKING PORN YOU RETARD!''''' -->''Classmate'': Whatever. You're a dirty little skank. -->''Me'': It's like frickin' Spongebob, it's ''not'' porn. It's INNOCENT ART! >:( -->''Classmate'': Ugh, what a slut. You see my point. The guy (yes, the classmate was indeed a guy.) refused to believe anime is ''not'' porn. What I was watching wasn't even close. It was {{Ouran High School Host Club}}. * This Troper is lucky. My mom's bought me 11 volumes of {{Berserk}} (and other violent series) and hasn't said anything, despite the covers, simply stating "I don't know what that series is about." (for the record, she's also bought me a DVD of TheShining, even encouraging me to watch it) She's read through a few chapters of DeathNote (after I asked for it for my birthday once), and I've explained to her the plotlines of CaseClosed, AxisPowersHetalia, AzumangaDaioh, and a few other series that I own, so she understands how varied anime can be. It helps that my mom enjoys some anime: she's a HUGE fan of MyNeigborTotoro, and has an interest in Sailor Moon & Pokemon left over from me watching those as a kid, and she loves listening to me talk about Hetalia (because of the France character: she's a french immigrant). * [[@/{{Exalts}} This troper]] got into drawing manga around the age of 11 (and still does). However, by the time I got to the age of 15, I was constantly having to explain to my friends that manga does not equal hentai and not all anime is Pokémon. (For the record, aged 17, I still watch and play Pokémon. I admire the childish humour of the anime and the [[WhatDoYouMeanItsForKids hidden complexities]] of the game) I had a couple of friends who shared my interest and they managed to convince my closest friends how innocent it is, but there was always one who managed to see what I was drawing and say "Urgh, why are you drawing manga porn?" ... it's a person stood by themselves in a dress. How is that porn?! Thankfully my parents know that the manga I read is most certainly NOT hentai, and even buy it for me when I ask nicely. * This troper's parents are more or less this trope, but admittedly, they've eased up these days. My mom originally wouldn't allow me to ''learn how to draw manga'', and even took away a tutorial book from my friend while she stayed over (not to burn it or anything, but to prevent me from reading it). The worst part was how she'd highlight

any evidence that supported her views on anime (i.e.: searching "smut and porn in anime" on Google to show that all anime is about smut and porn) and blow things out of proportion. Now she's okay with me learning manga, but she still doesn't know about my secret obsession with ''FullmetalAlchemist'' and ''SoulEater''. ** Same troper here: When you think about it, this notion of anime is actually pretty unfair; if I wanted to show a bunch of Tokyo natives that all Western/American animation was degenerate, immoral smut, I wouldn't have a hard time with it: I'd start with ''FamilyGuy'' and ''SouthPark'', and work my way to ''TimeSquad''. *** And ''TimeSquad'' is degenerate and immoral because...? * This Troper's parents used to think all anime was bad after hearing a story of how her cousin accidentally read some hentai from the library, thinking it was cute and innocent based on the cover. For the longest time, they refused to let her watch ''{{Hamtaro}}''. Freakin' ''Hamtaro''. * I don't have any bad parent stories. When my family seemed mostly disinterested in anime after loving SpiritedAway and Metropolis subsequently giving my sister nightmares, I was afraid for a time it was because of the "Pokemon or porn" stereotype and that Miyazaki and guess a few big budget movies were seen as exceptions. Turns out it wasn't the case at all and it was more of a "not wanting to watch TV while cooking dinner/OtakuOClock" thing; my mom actually got really into some ecchi stuff like Negima and Chobits (the latter she wouldn't let me watch for a while but followed herself). I did, however, once see an entire anime section of a local baseball cards/comics store as 18+ due to one parent's complaint about blood in one anime. I swear I saw Totoro behind the counter. My dad called the manager to complain about the censorship. The store closed pretty quickly. * This troper's pretty much been a fan of anime since birth, and when he met his best friend, at the age of ten, when I brought up a series other then Naruto (I forgot what it was now), he said "Isn't that for adults?". When he came over to my house, it was Toonami night, so we watched IGPX. "Tell me that's for adults, dude. Tell me that's for adults." He could have won if it wasn't a first-season episode... * This troper's parents don't like anime (though my mother loves StudioGhibli films) but they're ok with me watching it. However, when I took a volume of Hellsing into school, all hell broke loose. Some of my other friends, who know I'm yaoi fangirl, reacted badly when I mentioned I'd been watching anime, assuming it was porn. (It was Trigun). ---AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles? Isn't that a hentai? You sick fuck! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AllAsiansAreAlike * Tropers/{{eleutherios}}: I'm Vietnamese, most of my high school was Vietnamese, Chinese or Filipino (seriously, I think Australia's in danger of being swamped by Asians...) and I had enormous trouble

telling them apart. Didn't help that there were about eighty billion dozen Nguyens in the school, either... ** Would that mean that your school is [[IncrediblyLamePun Full of Nguyen?]] *** You are made of awesome, not only for making a pun that's ActuallyPrettyFunny, but for knowing how to pronounce my surname. * Tropers/LadyNomad: As someone who is part Filipino, whenever people meet me for the first time, they think that I'm Korean or Japanese or even Chinese especially when I was a child. Now, many people think that I'm hispanic. ** This troper has the same exact problem (or situation, depending on your view). When I was little, I looked very "asian", but as I grew older my skin also grew darker, making one person memorably ask me, "Are you a Black Chinese person?". Now, most people think I'm hispanic. *** Tropers/PutYaGunsOn: Haha, reminds me of this Filipino guy in my old school, and this other guy always called him "Blackanese". * Tropers/SatanicHamster: I'm Filipino too and I've gotten people thinking I'm Chinese, Japanese, and Mexican. Dang dudes, at least do a little research on asians. I don't mind being called hispanic because I have a great grandmother who was Spanish but being called Mexican is annoying. I did know a half Filipino and half Japanese dude who was very annoyed of being called Mexican. ** Tropers/JackMackerel is Filipino, but he's ''really'' Asian looking, but the rest of his family definitely look mestizo. I don't, people think I'm a Korean with a tan. ** Tropers/WaxingName is Filipino but Chinese looking too. According to my mom, we do have some Chinese blood in our family, so I guess there is some justification for this.. * Tropers/{{Solandra}}: Sadly, I have trouble distinguishing between Asians...even though I'm Asian myself. I blame it on being the only Asian student around in elementary, middle, and high school. I also have no idea how to tell the nationality of another Asian, even though my parents have no trouble with that. ** Tropers/SatanicHamster: Which Asian are you? I can tell the difference between a Filipino and other Asians. I do have trouble telling the difference between a Japanese person and a Korean person. *** i'm an asian, living and born in [[ asian country]] and there were few cases where i was mistaken for a [[ Central_Asia local Korean]] or when i did the the same mistake. This happens rarely though, because you usually can tell the ethnicity of the person in question by his/her name (if you care about it at all in the first place). Asking one directly of his lineage is a major faux pas here. *** Ah, a country that the west doesn't hear much about. I do find it's easier to tell the difference by spoken language and appearance. The Japanese and Koreans, I find tend to have lighter skin than the South East Asians. South East Asians tend to have bigger, rounder eyes than the Japanese and Koreans. * Why am I not surprised that this trope's so common? I'll bet everyone above me gets the Bruce Lee jokes and Ching Chong chants as

well. ** Tropers/{{KZN02}}: if the former you mean knowing martial arts, then yeah, in the past. * This (English) troper has serious issues telling apart different asian nationalities - despite being at a more-than-95%-asian high school and having only asian friends... * Tropers/SailorEnlil: I'm also Filipino, but mixed with Chinese and Spanish blood, thanks to my father and mother respectively, but often mistaken for a pure Chinese because of the eyes. Case in point, one Filipino-Chinese in my college class, when he talked to me for the first time, spoke in Mandarin, and when I gave him confused looks, he realized I didn't understand a word he said and so he reverted to Tagalog. * Tropers/{{Verily}}: In this troper's hometown, there are scores of Chinese and Japanese restaurants, and nearly all of them are owned and operated by Koreans. The town has a much larger Korean community than Chinese or Japanese, but no Korean restaurants. * This troper is Chinese, and telling the difference between Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans is pretty difficult even for me (until they start talking, that is). * Averted here. I honestly can't understand the idea that all Asians look alike to people, or that it's hard to tell the difference between different Southeast Asian nationalities, which I can almost always do. Then again, I did go to a majority Asian school, so that probably helps matters. * All white people look alike, I have a hard time telling the difference between a German and an Englishman by looks alone. * This troper is half Chinese, but the rather dramatic mix of the other half has led to me being called any number of other things, from Hawaiian to Native American. Amusingly no one guesses the other two Asian groups I could be called correctly(Australian and Russian). ** Australia is an Asian group ... ? * This [[Troper/RhymeBeat white troper]] doesn't see why this is racist. I can't tell the difference between a French person and a Russian. Why should I be able to tell the physical difference between ethnicities, which are mostly a cultural distinction. ** That's just it: knowing that cultural distinctions exist. * Averted. This [[Troper/CynthiaWakefield white troper]] has never gotten this at all. People from ''small and neighboring'' countries may look alike, but ... Japanese and Chinese people, for instance, look ''nothing'' alike to her. * cocoy0: @Troper above me: You have never gazed upon all the varieties of Filipino. Filipinos can look like all races, including Chinese, Indian (Aryan and Dravidian), and Pygmies. Maybe except Jews. ** Jewish is not a race, it is a religion. There is no such thing as "anti-islamic racism" either. You are born into a race, raised into a culture, and choose a religion. *** Er, Jew is used to refer to both the race and the religion. Either is correct. Islam is not a race however. * This Troper lives in Korea among many Chinese Americans, Japanese Canadians, etc. and the locals always mistake them for fellow Koreans. * Averted incredibly weirdly for [[Tropers/{{Gadeel}} this Filipino

troper]] in that I was never confused for an Oriental or a Malay Asian. In college, I got confused for a variety of peoples: I got confused by someone for an Indian, Arab and at least three different kinds of European. I can somewhat understand that I was mistaken for Indian (an Indian guy showed my parents a picture of his son and we did look alike) and Arab (I was told I looked such through early adolescence), but the mistaken European identities baffle me. What's worse is that I was never mistaken for Spanish, despite the fact that Spanish blood is what gives me my distinctly non-Asian features. * A {{Jerkass}} friend of mine (I honestly don't know why I refer to him as a friend) occasionally makes bad jokes about me being from North Korea. This is a semi-aversion, since I am half-Korean, but he's still a jackass for making such jokes. * Among my friends at uni, there are two Asian guys (let's call them G and J) who really don't look alike -- their heights are different, their facial features are different, their voices are different, even their accents are different (J speaks English in a clipped sort of way while G speaks in a more regular smooth sort of tone), and they are from different countries -- and yet they have inexplicably been mistaken for each other ''several'' times on ''completely separate occasions''. None of my other Asian friends have been confused with each other, ''just'' those two. It makes no sense to me. * This Troper once asked a guy if he was Japanese. He answered that, no, he was from Pakistan. Oops. * This troper is Filipino. But you'd have to ask because it doesn't show at all. Well, he's also European, African American, Caucasian, Hispanic.. * Apparently, Central Asia does not exist. There are no Kazakhs, Kyrgyz, Tatars, etc., etc. We're all just myths. * spooky-fingers* * This half-Cantonese, half-Japanese troper is frequently mistaken for Filipina or Thai, usually by [[MeLoveYouLongTime older white guys trying to hit on her]] ... ** It seems like you have bigger rounder eyes, which might explain why people think you're Thai or Filipina. * This Asian [[Tropers/CrystalGlacia troper]] is a Chinese adoptee. Whenever this comes up in conversation, 99% of the time, somebody will think I'm Japanese. There was also that one time when someone thought I was Korean. So far, the only person to guess my ethnicity correctly was my band teacher. * Hilariously inverted with this white troper, who grew up in a ''very'' Asian part of Los Angeles. She was one of about 5 kids in her elementary school classes that wasn't Chinese, Japanese, or Korean, and it took her until around third grade to realize ''she'' wasn't Asian. When she moved to black-and-white South Carolina in sixth grade, she constantly mixed up blonds and brunettes well into high school. * This Half Asian troper's Taiwanese mother doesn't really look like what most of the people I know consider as "Asian". As such, no one really knows that I'm Half Asian until I tell them. Oddly enough, before I enlighten them, people think I'm Native American. Weird. * This troper's grandfather is blind, so he can't tell faces apart without touching. He can, however, place a person within 100 miles by

listening to them speak. * This troper is East Indian/Taiwanese and can't tell the difference between Asian nationalities by look. * This troper can certainly see great variation, but lack of experience means she's mostly uncertain on what is what- so, for example, if showed her pictures of someone from, say, South Korea and someone from China, she'd be able to tell that they were from different countries, but possibly not which was which. But she's trying to learn. That said, she can still tell the different between East Asians, Central Asians, and ecetera. * This troper grew up in a very multicultural area of London, and has therefore learnt to tell religious groups as well as racial groups apart. * This troper can't tell the difference between spoken Asian languages, and can only differentiate between written Korean and everything else. (Korean is the only one with little circle thingies!) * I can distinguish Asian from Caucasian - sometimes (I'm white in Central-to-North-Europe type BTW). To my defence - I grow up in country which due to historical reasons had minimal immigration and minorities [[hottip:*:before IIWW there was large amount of minorities [>50% IIRC] but due to first invasion of III Reich and Holocaust then moving ethnicies to fit into borders during aftermatch as well as moving borders]] and I know that for e.x. there are lot of differences between Chinise and Japanise culture; or that the Chinise culture is not monolithical, * This troper is Filipina and mistaken for Chinese or Chinese people... * This troper's little cousins have the tendency to call ''every single Asian person they see'' Chinese. They also call anyone who looks vaguely Latino Mexican. I've tried to correct them, but they never seem to learn. I wouldn't mind so much if they were really young and didn't know better, but the older one is ''11.'' * This troper is very Mexican and has been confused for chinese BY the chinese in china. He also has a very uncanny ability to tell Chinese from Japanese and (with less chance of success) Chinese from Koreans. Its even easier if he is trying to tell Asian women apart...for some reason. * For what it's worth, this troper can't tell individual white ethnicities apart either. * [[@/{{DragonKhorse}} This troper]] can distinguish between most ethnicities in Asia. He still has trouble with the Vietnamese, Thai though. On the other hand, make them speak English and he can tell you in an instant which country they're from. For this troper, it's tough, because he's an AmbiguouslyBrown Asian who can mimic Asian accents quite well. * As a Chinese person, I don't understand how people are constantly mistaking me for Japanese or Vietnamese. [[BerserkButton WE LOOK NOTHING ALIKE!]] Granted, there are more Vietnamese people here, but that means that people ought to be able to realize that I look VERY different from them. ** JackMackerel - you'd be surprised how easily some Japanese pass off as Chinese and vice versa. My brother's Mandarin teacher states she's

done it repeatedly (being a Japanese fluent in Mandarin helps, for obvious reasons.) ** Hell, [[MarkAntony this troper]] is Chinese (well, Chinese-American anyways) and he couldn't tell you if someone was Chinese, Japanese, or Korean to save his life. Especially since there are so many minorities in China and nobody, and I do mean ''nobody'', is actually of pure Han ethnicity anymore. There are a number of stereotypical differences, of course, but they are so far from universal as to be largely pointless. This troper has himself been mistaken for Korean ''in China'' due to his mode of dress (Koreans tend to wear clothes in a more Western style). * This troper thinks he's actually pretty good at telling other Asians apart. Unfortunately, this is not reciprocated. This troper spent the first 15 years of his life in the Philippines. He's always been fairly light skinned for a mostly pure Filipino. Upon moving to Chicago, and returning for a visit four years later, his own countrymen, and even people who knew him from before, mistook him for being Korean. * Strangely, I am Asian and I constantly evoke this trope. * I cant tell the different nationalities apart, and have trouble with telling different people apart sometimes, but that is not just asians, I have trouble remembering faces and usually only recognise people by their hair, eyes, skin and clothes anyway-makes it hard with working in a school, 30 pupils all in identical uniform, and I have trouble telling them apart, especially little boys as most of them have the same haircut. Maybe for me it is that all people look alike. * I can easily tell the difference between Japanese, Chinese, Mongolian, Filipino, Indian, and the like, but I haven't interacted with enough Korean people to know for sure (physical appearance-wise; culturally, I can tell just fine). On the other hand, after living among Japanese people for a year, I got hit with a very, ''very'' weird inversion of this trope. While in the beginning, I was having trouble telling a lot of Japanese people apart, at the end, for some reason, every white person I saw looked ''familiar''. * Reversed when this Caucasian troper befriended a Chinese exchange student, who asked about the origin of my accent. I responded, "[[AmericanAccents I don't know, we all sound alike to me.]]" ** Bonus points, as she later revealed she frequently asked me about assignments because she could understand my accent, but said that the teacher's accent was very thick. The teacher and I were both from the same part of Michigan. *** This troper is an American that has met Asians who have told him that his accent doesn't cound American. Oddly enough, many are sure it's a British accent. This troper is from the St. Louis area. *** I'd say you must speak phonetic English, which sounds a lot like British English. * Tropers/PutYaGunsOn: Oh God, this is basically my BerserkButton right here, especially being Filipino myself. Throughout grade and middle school, I grew up with classmates who ''literally'' thought that [[AllAsiansAreAlike all East Asian cultures and ethnic groups were one and the same]] (Basically, they thought the whole continent was [[TheThemeParkVersion Theme Park]] FarEast {{Wutai}} land. No joke.), and that the terms "Chinese" and "Japanese" could be used

''interchangeably'' to refer to ANYTHING of East Asian origin. [[FlatWhat What.]] ** And then they'd mistake ''me'' for Chinese/Japanese, but then I'd correct them, thinking it was an honest mistake. (Well, to be fair, some time after that I found out that I actually DO have Chinese blood in me, but this was back when I didn't know that, so yeah.) Then they'd just tell me that we all look the same/ARE the same. [[BerserkButton Cue me getting close to lashing out at them and desperately wanting to beat the crap out of them]], but [[LawfulGood restraining myself only so I don't get in trouble with the teacher standing right there.]] Then some of them would [[InvokedTrope call me Chinese/Japanese on purpose just to piss me off.]] *** The teacher would have punished you for hitting them, but didn't punish them for their blatant racism? FlatWhat indeed. * This troper (Weird mix-up of Chinese and Vietnamese and a few others) finds the idea hilarious. That doesn't stop him from answering those lovely questions of "What race/ethnicity are you?" with "I'm Somali" for the hell of it. * This troper here is full Taiwanese....but everyone from the States seems to either think I'm Chinese or just Asian. Granted yes, I do come from a part of Asia, but there is a VERY big difference between the Chinese and Taiwanese. Strangely enough, I'm unable to tell the actual difference between the two, until they start speaking. ** ...perhaps it's because Chinese and Taiwanese people are ethnically the same? Why would anyone be able to tell the difference? (This Troper, incidentally, is also Taiwanese, but has no problem admitting that Taiwanese = Chinese in terms of ethnicity) * I just can't tell people apart asian or not. Not only can I not tell the difference between people of different asian countries apart at a glance the same is true of european and african people. The most shocking thing though is sometimes I can't tell the difference between individuals of completely seperate races I once confused a hispanic woman for my white mother because they were wearing similar jackets. * I find it almost impossible to guess what nationality someone is by looking at them. That is, if I see a Chinese guy and a Japanese guy I can tell they look way different, but I'll be darned if I know which is which, or even which groups I should be picking from. If they start speaking in their native language or eating their native food I'll probably figure it out though. * Not my anecdote, but: a (white) friend of my mother's and her family were transferred to Hong Kong for business. Their older son learned Cantonese, and one day the mother asked him to order for them at a restaurant. He listened very carefully to the wait staff and told her he couldn't. "Why not?" "Mom, they're Korean." * Protip: it's not just looks, but also body language. There's a way Japanese people (for example) behave, and there's a way Chinese people behave. Learning to read the signs is an important part of the skill. * A weird way of playing this trope straight: my family is white, and we grew up in an area that had a large population of Laotian immigrants, where it was assumed that any Asian person in the area was Hmong. So, to this day my sister has a tendency to refer to anyone of southeast Asian decent as Hmong first and foremost. I'm trying to

break her of this habit... * Tropers/Omurice: I've been mistaken for Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, Korean, Indonesian, and Indian (at least once) but never Filipino (my real nationality). * This troper's 14-year-old sister honestly believes this is true. Anytime you try and say how the Chinese and the Japanese are different, she goes on by saying "yes they are" and she tries to get you to shut up or she'll shut you up herself. * This troper is Chinese. He knows the cultural and linguistic difference among different Asian nations, but guessing nationality from merely looking is very hard for him. Only exceptions are Indians and Vietnameses. * [[Tropers/NaomiLawliet This Tropette]] is half-Taiwanese, HalfAmerican. She has been mistaken for full Japanese, Chinese, Thai, Korean, French, English, Australian, Italian, Spanish, and even INDIAN and NATIVE AMERICAN!!! * Tropers/{{Pikachukid}} [[LateToThePunchline just realised]] how stupid his sixth-grade teacher was. I was in my third year of a Japanese class with Kumon (and had studied it in school in Grade 2), and had started doing Chinese in school. The teacher did in fact wonder why I was doing so poorly at Chinese when my Japanese was fine. Most of the time, the languages don't even ''look'' alike. * My brother's mother in law is a fun case. Ethnically, she is fully Chinese. However, she was born and spend her childhood in pre-Castro Cuba. People expecting her to ''sound'' remotely Chinese get a surprise when they hear a Cuban-accented English (or Spanish) coming from her. * [[{{Tropers/Sharysa}} Sharysa]] likes to lampshade this, given that she is literally one of two Asians (She's Filipino, the other is Vietnamese) in her mostly black and Caucasian theater group. * This Chinese troper has been mistaken for a Japanese and a Korean before. Though, to be fair, this troper learned Karate (not just martial arts, but actual Karate), and likes to eat Korean BBQ. * That explains how a Chinese exchange student decided I was Japanese (I'm a very stereotypical-looking Ashkenazi, with features that are vaguely middle eastern) * This (Caucasian) troper has no trouble telling apart ''most'' Asians and figuring out where they're from, but she likes to joke about how all Asians look alike to her friends. One is a tan Indonesian, the other is of the pale, North-Chinese persuasion. The thing is? ''They agree with me'' * @/ThatOtherYou, being a Filipino, has problems with this when it comes to appearance. It doesn't help that her close friends are a Filipino who looks Chinese, a half-Chinese who looks Filipino, a light-skinned Indonesian whose god-brother is Chinese, and a Chinese person who's really into anime. (Don't be fooled--the Filipino population around here is lot higher than what I'm suggesting.) On a more {{facepalm}}-worthy note, she once saw a Caucasian girl near Cucina Manila (a very Filipino name in itself) leave, saying that "I don't feel like Chinese food today." * This mostly-White Troper has no problem telling Asians apart. Chalk it up to lots of Asian friends and associates and being a student of

Japanese language and culture, as well as other Asian cultures. On the very weird side, a former co-worker, who was a Chinese native said that he thought I was Chinese and a stranger in a convenience store once approached me, happy to meet "another person who is halfJapanese, half-Mexican." So I guess Asians can't tell me apart? * This Troper's Asian classmates lampshaded this when comparing their ID pictures. * My Chinese girlfriend has had this at times. Several of my photos are with my Asian friends (invariably female... thankfully I had managed to explain this before we became a couple), and she has a hard time telling them apart. She learned to guess Japanese, the majority of my Asian friends, but at least is mostly correct as all of them are either Japanese, Korean, or Chinese (one is full Japanese culturally but two generations removed from being full Korean...) For my part, I have trouble telling Koreans and Chinese apart, but less trouble telling Japanese apart from them. * I've been called everything from Chinese to Indian when they forget that between south and east Asia is southeast Asia (I'm Thai, so I'm lighter in skin tone than a lot of Indians but darker than most Oriental Asians.). It's now been more a personal RunningGag for me to say that I'm from North America and that I'm Navajo-Seminole with a bit of Miccosukee before I say that I'm Thai. Hey, if they can't tell the difference between Asians, who says they can tell the difference between Native Americans tribes :D? ** Tropers/PutYaGunsOn: Hey, thanks! Next time someone mistakes me for anything other than Chinese/Filipino, I'll probably steal your idea or something. * This trope applies to all of my Asian friends. I can't tell them apart lots of the time. Considering that, most of the Asians at my school are Veitnamese, so as soon as I met my friend Jane, I assumed automatically she was Veitnamese. She, in fact, was Korean, (as I learned later). I have a rather hard time telling all Asians apart, actually. * When this troper's 3rd grade EXTREMELY IGNORANT teacher went to Japan, she never shut the hell up about how "cool" it was. This suddenly stopped when she asked a kid about Japanese-y things and he corrected her, telling that he was ''Korean''. Oh snap. This troper herself can identify a person of Asian nationality instantly though by either listening to their accent (if they have one) or knowing their name, so I haven't encountered this problem myself. ** Also the same Troper had to convince her friends that not all Asians play ''StarcraftII'' by bringing up our friend that lives in Japan that can't even fix her internet connection because (her words) "she's too old for computers". Yeeeaah. All Asians play Starcraft... * My nephew is 1/4 Chinese, but some kid asked if he was from Japan. * [[@/GamerFromJump I]] goofed the term for the ''taijitu'' symbol, calling it "yin-yang". This was a course on Japanese history, so the appropriate term would have been ''in-you'', according to my (Japanese) teacher. * Apparently I (a Hispanic) have an Asian great-grandfather. Whenever I ask what nationality, everyone (even his daughter) responds "... We're not sure. We just know he was Asian." But since he had an

incredibly Spanish sounding name, I have to keep assuming 'Filipino.' Until I see a picture... even then I might not be able to tell... * Aversion: The other day I was amazed to see a white classmate of mine correctly identity a girl as coming from South Vietnam just based on visual cues. He claimed that he had taught himself to distinguish among people of all nations in that region of Asia. * This Troper's father can always identify where people are from. This Troper can't, ever, and has learned to shut up. This ability/lack of ability, however, extends to all races - he can identify people as being German/Russian/British etc and I can unfailingly guess the wrong thing for every human being I meet. * Wherever [[@/OhNoes my family and I]] go, we're constantly asked if we're Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, or Thai - Even at Asian establishments. We're Filipino. Also, this is somewhat unrelated, but someone was trying to get my attention [[HeadphonesEqualIsolation through my music]], to no avail. The dude next to him said "Asian. Hellooo, asian kid?" in a rather soft voice, and I whirled around as if he'd been yelling. [[HilarityEnsues Hilarity ensued.]] * I really cannot tell Caucasians apart, and they (in turn) either think I'm a full-on Chinese or completely American. I am a Taiwanese/Australian mixed. * This caucasian troper has little trouble telling adult Asians apart, but when they're children she can't tell the difference. Not only Asians but certain Native Americans like the Inuit, too. * Tropers/{{Archer250}}: Inverted. I can never tell a Caucasian apart. * I was at a WWE house show a few weeks ago and I heard some idiot Dublin kid say "Gail Kim's a chink". Gail is of Korean descent actually. * This white troper goes to a mostly-Asian boarding school. At first I couldn't tell anyone apart, but since I've been going for a few years I can usually guess by their names or by hearing them speak... Still, I never mention it until I'm 100% sure. * ...This troper is confused, cos she always thought this trope was not being able to tell the difference between two specific Asian ''people'', much less different nationalities. She's Chinese and has been mistaken for pretty much every one of the other ten or so Asian girls at her school. * This troper recently took a trip to Taiwan, along with other people from his school, and some from a Korean school. It wasn't until then that this troper really knew how to tell the difference between Chinese and Korean people, and that still only goes about as far as "Koreans have more yellowish skin." ---Go back to... What was it, Chinese? Korean? Oh right, AllAsiansAreAlike.

AllBikersAreHellsAngels * This Troper has a scary real life example of this trope being played straight. Her middle school music teacher's sister as well as a distant friend and her husband of her parents got involved with motorcycles in their thirties, started a local bike club, and even ran

a small Harley merch store. Aside from this, they were very normal people. She thought nothing of it until later this year when they were both murdered in their house by a Hell's Angels guy because they stiffed someone in a drug deal. * ThisTropers high school Spanish teacher always wore nice polo shirts everyday. However, he drove a Harley most of the time. And showed at every school function in full-on Hell's Angels gear. Sleveless leather jacket, bicep tatoos, bandana, denim pants, you name it. He also had a massive PornStache. * [[Tropers/GenkiMan My]] [[BadassCrew dad and his friends]] challenged the Hells Angels (the '''real''' ones) to fight outside a pub after one of them made one of his mates' [[DisproportionateRetribution spill his drink]]. I'm ''dead serious''. [[spoiler: They didn't actually fight because the Angels [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome respected them for having the balls to challenge them in the first place and bought them a drink]].]] * On this troper's parents' first date, they had engine trouble and pulled off at a gas station. A group of bikers noticed their trouble and decided to give them an escort to their destination. Along the way, a slowpoke motorist pulled in front of the car, so a biker drove along side it, tapped on the window, and motioned for the car to give way. The driver obeyed, they made it to their destination, and the date was saved. * This troper's family is a giant subversion. Yes, the troper's father looks like a [[{{Badass}} 'baby eater']], according to one of my exes, but he is a textbook example of someone owning a traditional cruiser; he is a retired professional who has a decent amount of money and who works on minor stuff on his bike with his friends. He is part of a 'biker' gang, but their shtick is being part of the armed forces and at least visiting specific highways. And yes, his bike is a Harley. Her mother rides as well, though not a Harley, and she is a normal woman who uses The Killer Rabbit because it has better gas mileage. The oldest brother rides and looks sort of like the stereotype, but he is a teddy bear. [[AstraKiseki The troper herself]] doesn't count; she rides a Vespa. * This troper had a run in with a bunch of bikers at a resteraunt when he was only 5 years old. Now, according to the tale, these were a table full of large, leather clad gentlemen with beards to their beltbuckles, laughing it up and smoking cigars despite the plain nosmoking signs. So this troper, flush with all the righteous indignation a 5 year old can hold, walked straight up to them and told them "You really shouldn't be smoking in here". The biggest of them looked down at me, stared hard, then burst into laughing, saying "You're right. We really shouldn't." Then they put out their cigars and my until-that-moment terrified grandparents bundled me back to my seat. There wasn't a lick of trouble from them afterwards. ** This reminds me of something that happened to me at a restaurant when I was about six. One of several bearded bikers helped get this mini troper's balloon down from the ceiling, by climbing up on top of a table. * This Tropher went to see the British Grand Prix back in 1995 and since I was only 6 at the time I obviously had a hard time seeing

anything. A couple of bikers offered to let me sit with them and allow me to see. To this day I wonder why bikers seem to get so much stick. They are great people who only get pissed off when someone decides to start trouble, then they make the troublemaker regret it. A few other friends share this point of view. * This troper was stationed in South Korea, and ran into a Korean Harley gang while staying at a hostel one weekend. They were all decked out in the stereotypical leather and chains. When this (blondhaired, blue-eyed, American) troper passed one of them in the parking lot, the biker bowed politely and cheerfully exclaimed, "An yeong ha seyo!" (traditional Korean greeting). It was all this troper could do not to burst out laughing. * When this troper was very young my parents and I went out to dinner and ACTUAL Hell's Angels (New York Chapter) were in the restaurant. There were about five or six of them, but they were very quiet, talking amongst themselves (with the occasional outburst of laughter), and were very respectful to the waitstaff. Many years later I worked in an office and one of the accountants while in suit and tie during the week showed us several pictures of him and his son sitting on his Harley with him dressed in full biker gear. * This troper goes to church with a member of a motorcycle gang called The Sons of God. Yes, they're just what they sound like: Motorcyclist missionaries. They go to shows and love their Harleys and dress the same as any other biker... they just happen to love Jesus. * Similar story at this Troper's church, the leader is actually one of the lighting techs. * This Troper's road trip to see Mt. Rushmore happened to coincide with one of the largest annual Biker Rallies in North America. All the roadside diners were packed with Leather clad motorcycle enthusiasts that could be overheard discussing how their Insurance or Real Estate practices were doing, and the current state of their [=IRAs=]. * This Troper spent most of high school on the back of her friend's motorcycle and actually got escorted to her 16th birthday by a group of Hell's Angels by default of them falling in with the three of us on our way to Los Angeles. They even bought us breakfast! * This troper's friend was at a restaurant when her dad saw bikers, and started bashing them. So she then yelled at him that they're probably nice people. Then before her dad could say anything, the biker held open the door. He then talked with them and was super nice. * This troper's father worked at a fish store when he was a kid. One day, he sold some guy some eel, and the guy came back whining and complaining about the quality of the eel (which actually, was fine), ending with him throwing the eel back into my father's 14-year-old face. The guy turned around, and there were about 3 bikers. They demanded that the man apologize to my father. The man refused. The three bikers grabbed the guy, and literally threw him out of the store. They then apologized to my father and gave him a $5 tip for dealing with the guy. (in 1977) * This troper's parents got married at the Sturgis Motorcycle Rally twenty somthin years ago. And my mother is that poster-girl from that Women Bikers poster (shown in a lot of history shows on bikers, always saying she's unknown). Both parents go to Sturgis every summer. Best

part? They're millionaires living in a gated community in Laguna Beach. Biker tough. * Subverted in this guy's experience. Most Harley bikers in his local area are men in their mid-life crisis who just ride on the weekends. ---Jump on your hog and ride on back to Main/AllBikersAreHellsAngels! ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AllDrummersAreAnimals * Completely acerted by [[SwiftStrike this troper]], who is a drummer, but isn't at all crazy... at least not dangerously so. I'm pretty smart, but too laid back to actually care greatly about school or work. I can also play a bit of piano and sing, but the only thing I can play on guitar is the [[RedVsBlue Red Vs Blue]] theme song. * This troper knew a man who looked like the muppet Animal when, and only when, he was playing the drums. * This troper's [[BrattyHalfPint younger brother]], in spades. He has to be seen to be believed... ** You too? * This troper's former drummer had long hair, enjoyed yelling random [[{{Metallica}} James Hetfield]] quotes such as [[BigYes "YEAAAH"]] and "OOOOOH", and went nuts when put behind a drumkit. Great drummer though. * Averted for me - I can play the drums (even though I'm not really active as a drummer) and I'm a [[TheSmartGuy Smart Guy]]/DeadpanSnarker. * Averted here. The drummer in my band was an Eagle Scout with a kajillion merit badges. ** And played straight in my other band, in which our drummer insists on inserting a maniacal drum solo into the end of every song, even slow songs. Yeah... * Unfortunately for this troper, she is the only girl in the entire percussion section of her high school band, and is [[SarcasmMode lucky enough]] to be the only one with any sense of respect, sanity, or legitimate musical ability. And since all of these drummers are ''male animals'', she gets to be subject to the most blatant sexism. * Averted by one of the girls in this troper's (percussion) section in her high school's band. She is very quiet and rather serious. Our band director often has to tell her to play louder. Played fairly straight by the rest of us in the section. This troper fondly looks back on the first time she played crash cymbal and played so loudly the she practically busted the drum major's ear drums. * This troper has noticed a HUGE distinction between people who happen to be capable of drumming and honest-to-god drummers. The former are usually relatively sane, productive members of society. The latter are batshit crazy to a man. * This troper's physics teacher plays drums in a band. She's not entirely sure what that implies. ----

Back to AllDrummersAreAnimals? ----

AllForNothing * In this troper's last year of elementary school, the school district put together a lot of money to build a beautiful, relaxing flower garden for students to sit in and admire, and to preserve butterflies. This troper spent months with his mother raising a butterfly just for this purpose - and mind you, this was this troper's third attempt, as the other two butterflies had apparently been subject to pesticides and never emerged from the chrysalis. However, this one ''did'' survive, and this troper had the honor of releasing it in a special ceremony into the garden, where it looked wonderful. Two years later, this troper, then in middle school, learned that the school had the garden removed to make room for new classrooms as the population of the township expanded. * [[{{Tropers/Griffinguy24}} This Troper]] once worked with piping plovers, an endangered ground-nesting shorebird. One of his first experiences doing so involved building fences so beachgoers wouldn't disturb a nesting bird. This bird built its nest right at the fence line, meaning we had to expand the fencing. Immediately after we finished, a crow swooped down and ate the nest's single egg. * On a similar note, [[{{TropersSciatrix}} my]] younger sister once found an baby rabbit in the yard, apparently abandoned by its parents. After hours of cajoling, my father finally persuaded her to release the bunny, arguing that it would be happier in the wild and also less likely to be eaten by our dog. She set it loose on the lawn, whereupon it began to hop away for maybe five seconds. Then a giant crow swooped down, grabbed it by the head, and flew away, screaming bunny in tow. ** Oh my god, that is a legitimate source of NightmareFuel for your little sister. ** What kind of horrible mutant bird has what it takes to swoop down and pick up something the size of a rabbit? [[ A Deepcrow?]] *** ''Deeeeeeeeep Croooooow!! Deeeeeeeeeeeeeep Croooooowwww!!!'' *** Well, it was a ''baby'' bunny... besides, wild bunnies are a little smaller than the fat, domesticated kind seen in pet stores ** One should not attempt to "rescue" an "abandoned" rabbit. Mommy rabbits "abandon" their babies every day to avoid drawing attention to them. If the baby rabbit smells like human hands when she returns, the mommy may abandon it for real. *** May or may not be a myth according to many people, but rabbits feed their children during the night apparently, so while one may SEEM abandoned it's not. ** Or worse, ''eat it''. This has happened to baby hamsters (which, by the way, did not belong to [[{{Tropers/MiraShio}} me]]). * Many people pass through decades of studying, even doing College, and end unemployed, or in a job that doesn't have anything to do with what they wanted. Sad, really sad. ** I join you in your sorrow. ** While we're on the topic of college, this troper was initially

considering going to a junior college before transferring to a university. But then he was told that performing well in junior college would mean that universities would only look at his JC performance and not look at his high school performance. So he went to university right away, otherwise there would be no point to doing his best in high school. ** Been there, done that, got the BA degree, did little with the subject. ** I know a woman who went to university to study Neuro Science...and then changed her mind and went for a degree/job in ''marketing''. ** That's what happens when you go to ''college'' (actually a school devoted to one discipline, but Americans use it to mean "university") and study something for the sole purpose of making money off it. That's not an education, that's training. Whether you call it a university or a college, go to get an education and, whatever discipline your degree is in, then use that education to make a living. ** This is happening to my cousin. She was originally planning to study theater and become an actress. After her freshman year, she didn't qualify for one of the theater programs. Now that cousin is planning to be a music teacher. Still a related field, but still. * This troper recalls reading about how thousands of dollars were spent to nurse a pair of sea lions back to health following the ''Exxon Valdez'' crash in Alaska some dozen years ago. A great ceremony was held to celebrate the release of the creatures into the wild...and the entire assemblage watched in horror as they were immediately eaten by a pair of killer whales. ** Wow, so that one ''PearlsBeforeSwine'' comic was based on a true story? Either that, or mother nature is a real bitch. * [[@/RayAyanami This troper]] voted for a tax that would fund a [[ BART]] extension to the southern part of the San Francisco Bay Area, a major region of the Bay Area with no BART service. The tax had just enough votes to meet the 2/3 majority vote needed to pass. (Which is ironic, because Prop 8 only needed a 50% vote, but that's a story for another day.) Then it was decided that the extension would terminate in East San Jose, instead of going through downtown and into Santa Clara (his hometown), otherwise the extension would be too costly. Now he's wondering: ''what was the fucking point of (voting for) that tax?!'' * This troper had to struggle through a book for summer reading once. This was for a school that had caused her a lot of major problems over the year. Reading it was like wading through waist-deep mud, and she went through a lot of stress to finish on time. Then, after a whole spring and summer of searching, she (read: her parents) finally found a decently-fitting "special" school two days before the year started. Relief? Hell yes. All for nothing? Same. ._.; * This troper tried for YEARS to get into one lone college program, and even with lots of help, never did. She has since given up. She has also tried hard to find a retail job with no success. She finally found a program that places you in retail...for a few months. She will likely not get to keep the job after. She's starting to believe she's not allowed success.

* [[@/PentiumMMX2 This troper]] had this happen with a competition held by his Boy Scout troop. It was a classic Pinebox derby (for those who might not know what I'm talking about, it's where you build small wooden cars and race them), except with an addition angle of having a car show; a trophy given to the person who made the best looking one. I put days into perfecting mine; having my dad assist me in decorating it to make it look as good as possible, and even ditching the craft paint for a can of spray paint the same shade of red as his car. Sadly, though, I lost both the race (Lost in the 2nd round) and the car show (Lost to a kid who painted his with plain craft paint. Maybe I was disqualified, but they never told me...[[LoopholeAbuse nor did they ever say, when announcing the contest, that it was against the rules to use spray paint]]). I was devastated; I already couldn't handle failure very well (I was like 8 or 9 at the time), but the fact I put so much effort in only to fail made it more agonizing. ** This troper feels your pain. When She was 9, her brother's Scout troop invited the sisters of the Scouts to make cars and race them, because there were only about 8 boys. While the others all got their dad to make the cars, she built one with very little help. She got to the race, and did really well. At the end of the night, they told her that her car had won, but they had to give the prize to a boy because it was a 'Scout event', and she was 'only a guest.' * The task of writing the script for last year's final school play fell into [[{{Tropers/MiraShio}} my hands]]. I spent ''weeks'' translating the PurpleProse of the source material into a comprehensible script, all the while racing against time. Everyone's grades depended on the completion of the script... and then we ended up not performing the play. We never saw the scripts again. [[strike: I ''really'' hope my efforts won't be wasted again this year.]] ** This hoping was AllForNothing. * [[{{Tropers/CrazyRob}} This Troper]] feels this way about his entire education prior to college. Eighteen years of mindless drivel that didn't help me at all in the real world, along with a boatload of anger issues, betrayals, and depression. To say that the entire experience was merely completely unhelpful is the politest way I can put it - a more accurate statement would be that being in several car wrecks and spending each recovery time reading would have been much better for my mental and physical health. ** Logically I could say there ''is'' a lot of information that ''can'' help you in real life if you look at it the right way. Emotionally I feel similar, wondering whether all my efforts will pay off or go to waste. This weakens my motivation and makes me dwell more on little signs that I could fail, however flimsy 'evidence' they might be. This only increases my anxiety and weakens my motivation even more. It's a nasty cycle. * This troper feels this way about the concept of finding love. All that'll ever come out of it is just getting hurt. I literally spent thousands of dollars on the girl I "loved", and then she broke up with me, and now has told me several times that she wishes I had never been in her life. ** I'm not sure if what I'm about to say will make sense, but don't let pain keep you away from love forever. Think of it like this... if

you were once happy with the wrong one, how much happier will you be when the one for you finally comes? Everything's gonna be fine, and I know that what I just said were not empty words. *** Unless, of course, he never actually finds anyone for him, like millions of others, in which case it really will have been AllForNothing. * This troper is trying not to feel this way about her last place of employment, but sometimes it's really hard. She devoted her life to the place because she cared about it (and her boss) so much. She risked her physical and mental health in her efforts to satisfy the powers that be; she never really got much of a break, since they thought nothing of calling her at home about matters. Nothing was ever good enough. Her boss doted on her but those higher than him had a very different opinion; it was like working for Gru's mother in ''DespicableMe'' -- the best response she could hope for was "Eh." She tried to help restore economic stability, to implement environmentally responsible practices, and to make the place run as smoothly as she could. Her reward was to be given walking papers after five and a half years, after (among other things) being accused of trying to sabotage a department. The fact that she was ''proven innocent of all charges'' didn't change anything either. * All my attempts at finding love and companionship have turned out to be this. I've put time, money, effort, and God knows what else into it... I've changed my looks, my clothes, my personality, and yet despite all the people who claim I'm a nice guy and there's someone out there for me, every woman I ever get interested in blows me off because I'm "not her type" or "not hot enough." I get the feeling that love is AllForNothing for a lot of people. ---Oh, why bother going back to Main/AllForNothing? ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AllGaysArePromiscuous * Played totally straight ([[IncrediblyLamePun or not]]) by the LGBT community in my college. There is actually a map made by a friend of mind connecting the names of everyone who has slept together with lines. It looks like someone scribbled all over a huge sheet of paper. And I can think of at least 10 hook-ups that aren't even on the map, and I'm not even that popular/well-informed/knowledgeable-aboutgossip. However, inverted by my gay male [[FagHag best friends]] and I. We are always complaining about how we're the only queers on campus who want committed, loving, lasting relationships instead of cheap hook-ups. Too bad I'm a woman, they're men, and none of them are eachother's type. * This trope was this my dad's explanation as to why relationships between two males wouldn't work as well. "See, if it were a guy and a girl, [[AllMenArePerverts the guy would want sex all the time]], [[AllWomenArePrudes but the girl would tell him to slow it down.]] If it were two guys, then the guy would want sex all the time and the other guy would be like, 'Sure!'" I would have said something, but I

was pretty sure I wasn't supposed to be part of the conversation. * [[Tropers/DesertDragon I]] played this straight (ahem) for the first six years of my adult life. I am probably still a manwhore by most definitions of the word, but have at least developed ''some'' standards of who to sleep with, and it's never with someone who isn't boyfriend material in some way (though whether or not we actually become boyfriends is a different story). * My Biology professor tried to convince us the average gay male slept with up to 23 partners in a single night. No, I wish I was kidding. * I am glad to read this page, because seriously, I don't know anyone who doesn't embody (no pun intended) this trope. * sigh* Why must I live in a place where nearly every single human is a walking stereotype? * This trope applies to my friend and I.... * [[{{Gattsuru}} My]] run into more than a few people at Pride events certain that this ''should'' be the case -- at least one pair solved the issues of a long-distance relationship this way by going open about it, with the explicit warning that they didn't think it would work for straight couples -- and, other the other side, sees a lot of aversion, too. * One word: Bournemouth. * I'm not gay but... even I get a tad pissed whenever someone in my FAMILY would say "It's a good thing you aren't gay, otherwise I would have to watch my ass around you." There aren't enough walls in the world that could ever wipe out the fail in such a statement. That's not even UnfortunateImplications, they honestly believe that all gays not only rape people, but don't even care if that person is related to them. I apologize to all of you on behalf of my idiotic family members. * A lesbian friend of mine rather fits this in a [[DistaffCounterpart genderflipped]] kind of way; she's only seventeen and has a formidable back catalog already, including a guy or two. Her rationale is pretty simple - orgasms are fun - and I've got to say that I admire how freely she enjoys her sexuality in a world where most girls feel the need to treat sex as a solemn, jealous ritual. She has a girl with which she's settling down with at the moment, but this has given her a whole load of new female friends who are either bisexual or curious enough to also want her. These friends are HUGELY desirable; it's going to be interesting to see how resisting works out for her. ---AllGaysArePromiscuous? Nobody told me! ----

AllGermansAreNazis * This troper has a half German half Greek classmate who likes to make fun of his own German heritage, especially with his friends who seem to think Hitler is hilarious. * This Tropette is of mixed European heritage. I'm a little bit of everything, including German. I'm none too proud to admit that of the 20 or so German words and phrases I know, at least half are slurs against Jews or have [[ThoseWackyNazis unfortunate]] connotations. I

don't hold the only beliefs I can express in German, but I'm well aware that this makes me look like a terrible person. [[RacistGrandma I place all blame for this on my grandpa,]] who has some pretty backwards-ass beliefs. ** ACHTUNG JUDEN! *** Why the HELL did you think it was example time? * This troper is half german on his mother's side, and throughout school endured comments of this trope's believers... who did I end up meeting and befriending in college? The great nephew of William Joyce AKA Lord Haw Haw. * This troper is from nearly pure German heritage on my mother's side. Recently, my aunt asked me if I was ever accosted over this in school (called a nazi, etc), because apparently she was and she worried the same would happen to me. ** The same thing happened to this troper, even though he's half Hungarian. Being blond and blue eyed (which later turned light-brown and green----respectively) didn't really make his grade-school years easy... * There is a German exchange student at this troper's high school who suffers this regularly. A friend of mine(known for what he calls 'comedic racism') spent fifteen minutes goading her, and upon receiving a suitably angry response, turned to me and loudly whispered "Hide the Jews!" * In a story [[CrashGordon94 I]] am planning, a Villain assumes this of the resident German GeniusBruiser (Who also happens to be TheHero), [[BerserkButton much to their detriment]]. * In a '''horrible''' example of this trope, this tropers grandmother knew a girl at her own school back in the 1940's. She was bullied and beaten up badly, by people much older than her. Why? Because her parents were germans who fled Germany to Britain in the 1930's because of their ''Jewish ancestry''. The girl and her parents even almost got put in prison because they were suspected of being German spies. * This troper had it once, whilst he was living in England. Someone made a nazi analogue concerning Jewish, and I responded with: "..Why?" "You're Dutch aren't you?", cue grammar lesson. * The only time that my high school WorthyOpponent ever crossed the line from "entertaining wise-ass" to "reprehensible jerk" was when he made Holocaust comments to the German exchange student. I had to flee the room in embarrassment. * I had a professor who was German, and was soft-spoken and actually rather timid. My friend and I inadvertantly terrorized him during the Modern France history class we took together, because we are both outspoken and opinionated. We do feel guilty about this, although his expression when I called Marshall Petain a "candyass" still makes us giggle. * This Tropette, mixed heritage, thought mostly German was at first irritated why neighbour countries keep up mocking Germans by calling them Nazis. That was until she was in London and couldn't resist to mock German tourists, to see how it works. Since then she got plenty comments that she could not be German, since she would be so relaxed and cool about it. * This troper has had to deal with this in the past, due to having a

great-grandfather that fought for Germany during WWII. While he was fighting in France, his wife and daughter were arrested and sent off to a "work camp", but eventually smuggled out of the country by friends. The stories this troper's grandmother have told her about life in Nazi Germany for the average German citizen were enough to give her [[NightmareFuelUnleaded nightmares]]. Suffice to say, the last time someone suggested he was a Nazi resulted in this troper's brother breaking the guy's nose. * This trope is TruthInTelevision for me and a friend. We are both blue-eyed blondes with German ancestors. Never mind the fact that both of our families moved to the United States before WorldWarII. Never mind the fact that one of our other friends is Jewish. We still spend a lot of time explaining that we're not neo-Nazis. ** If it was TruthInTelevision for you, wouldn't that mean that you really are nazis? *** Sorry, I worded it wrong. People incorrectly assume it's TruthInTelevision. * This trope was a sad reality for me in high school. Never mind that my family came over before Germany technically existed, or that the [[JerkJock people]] giving me grief over it delighted in talking about how much they hated Jews. * This Austrian troper has just moved to Scotland. Being confronted with this trope [[FetishFuel in GB isn't always fun.]] * This German troper has visited England, France and America several times. It's always much fun to be called a Nazi. I also feel very guilty for my personal involvement in the Holocaust, by the way I'am 24. * Averted-- this troper knows at least one Jew of German descent who is proud of both his Jewish and German ancestries. * This Troper has had to deal with this. A Few of my friends Started Calling Me "Nazi" and "Hitler (or "HITLAH"), It offended me, so they stopped. However, 2 Special-Ed Students Have started doing the same (Yeah, I'm Kind of the school's Resident [[ ButtMonkey]]). THEY WILL NOT LEAVE ME ALONE! and Call me Racist for saying ANYTHING AT ALL! I Am 98% Irish(My Father Was An Irish Immigrant) and 2% German (on my mother's side). * I am Jewish (with a bit of German mixed in, but that was Jewish too), and people with German ancestry (who usually have ancestors who moved here before the Holocaust/weren't Nazis) come up to me and apologize. They also expect me to hate them, for some reason. I have to explain that almost all Germans today are very nice people, and most Jews (including me) don't hold a grudge against modern-day Germany (or people descended from Germany). Also, I get really weird looks when I tell people I know Hebrew and am learning German soon. * This Troper suffered this through high school. Living in the UK but being descended entirely from European (German, Belgian and Italian) and Irish immigrants, I've always identified myself as being British but not English. One year, when filling out a survey for the school, I (correctly) provided my ethnicity as "White European" and not "White British". When I explained my ancestry, along came the questions about what my German family did in the war. I admitted that a distant relation of mine had been a Colonel in the German army during WWII,

but that my ancestors were in the UK by then and all of my direct ancestors or close relations in the war fought for either Britain or Belgium. Of course, that one German (who was actually a lifelong social democrat with a son who later became a regional SPD leader post-war) was all they needed to subject me to 5 years of accusations of being a Nazi sympathiser. * Averted in my school where a good number of the students, and at least one of the teachers are of German descent and everybody's smart enough not to assume they're all Nazis. However, there was one incident my English teacher told my class about when he revealed his heritage to someone and was asked the question "So are you a Nazi?". He said he got really offended by this, but he wasn't exactly sure why though I found his reaction not unreasonable. My friend also gets this treatment outside of school sometimes as well. Goose step back to AllGermansAreNazis. ---<<|TroperTales|>>

AllGirlsLikePonies * This troper's mother owns HUNDREDS of Breyer model horses. HUNDREDS!!!!!! * My agricultural college would be a case of "''only'' girls like ponies." Currently and for the past few years, '''all''' Equine (horse) Studies' majors have been girls. I'll let you reason out the logical physical reasons behind this. * This troper's mother suffers from what's known as OCEAN: Obsessive Compulsive Equine Attachment Neurosis. And we own about 30 horses. * This troper is a member of her private school's equestrian club. We're currently the biggest club in the school. I only ''wish'' they were all cutesy twee WASP-y twelve year olds... * This troper was and was always somewhat amused by the number of "manly" guys his age who were terrified to go near a horse. I was involved in riding between the ages of 12 – 17 and in a stable of about 30, I was the only male rider under 30. * This troper likes miniature horses,and horses such as pintos, but (ironically) hates ponies. Then again, she declared her hatred for anything feminine at the age of 6. * [[@/{{Highcastle}} This troper]] grew up to ride/train horses professionally. But as much as I would have loved a pony as a kid, my parents didn't even let me ride until I was almost 8, and I spent most of that time riding small horses rather than ponies. As an adult, I worked a few summers backing ponies (being the first one to ride them). It was there I discovered that most ponies are fracking evil. Horses, cool. Ponies? Spawn of satan at times. Go figure. ** It's a simple concept - all equines have an equal amount of attitude. Small ones like [[DetractorNickname Shitlands]] have that attitude under high pressure and are difficult to handle. A big old Clydesdale has much more room to contain the attitude, and thus makes a friendly animal, despite being quite capable of treading on you and not noticing. * Most ponies, despite being adorable, are actually complete brats and

not actually all that suitable for kids to ride, especially Shetlands. That would be why [[@/GwenStacyWannabe I]] always preferred a good steady Morgan. * Averted: [[@/DarkInsanity13 This troper]] has never really cared for horses, let alone ponies. She never understood the appeal of them. ** [[@/{{Cameoflage}} This troper]] always felt like an outcast for neither liking nor getting the appeal of horses/ponies. The trope was rather tiresome to constantly butt up against. ** Unlike what appears to be 95% of my peers, I don't like horses at all. They're big, can be harmful, get so much coverage in the media... I just don't like them. ** Same. This troper likes riding them, but doesn't understand what's so squee-worthy about the way they look. ** I liked {{MyLittlePony}}, but I was ''terrified'' of real horses and ponies. ** This troper has never understood other girls' obsession with those huge ugly things. ...however, she thinks DONKEYS are the most adorable animals on the planet and wishes she had 45 of them. Awww ** This female troper never got the horse-love either and thought it showed a lack of imagination. She always rather longed for a pet dragon. ** This troper has never understood the appeal of ponies and horses, either. Her mother will usually quip, "I'm gonna get you a pony!" when either Christmas or her birthday is near. ** I never liked them either. Mostly because when I was about seven, one nearly bit off my finger when I was trying to feed it. Animals in general tend to hate me. I'm not sure why. * By the time this troper started liking the idea of equines as domesticated animals you can sit on, she was too tall for any but the strongest/tallest ponies, and spent most of her (short-lived) riding life on horses. She has since outgrown the "schoolgirl" phrase of horses (think Saddle Club, Totally Horse Mad) and is more focused on equine colour genetics, conformation, and advanced anatomy (due to being an artist). She was never that obsessed with ponies, but they can be some of the funnest breeds to draw. Especially the hairy ones. * Lampshaded/subverted/played with/whatever is APPROPRIATE here: This troper has a girl at his school (who is more into "manly" hobbies) mention that she wanted a unicorn over lunch. Some surprised looks later, she exclaims "Are you all thick or something? It's a horse with a fucking bayonet on ITS head, how can that not be awesome?" ** This troper likes the way that girl's mind works and is somewhat peeved that they didn't think of it themselves. ** This male troper wants a unicorn to pick up chicks with. * Subverted with this Troper's Mother, She thinks horses are the stupidest animals in the world (but they are very pretty, just not very smart). * Played ''very'' straight with this troper's classmates during elementary school, to the point where "pony girls" seemed akin to a high school clique or subculture. Averted with this troper herself, who tried, but just could not get into it. (Guess how that went.) * Subverted HARD for this troper. She wanted to ride one to see what it was like, went to a horse camp and got it completely ruined for

her. She preferred cats and rodents more. And in middle school, condors. * Subverted with this troper. I did love riding horses at one point but after a broken wrist, a bruised back, a concussion and after about a million falls, I decided to stay as far away from them as possible. * An interesting example: a girl from this troper's class at school was not really a typical girl, she didn`t get crazy about fashion, she didn`t giggle or scream much, she wasn`t concerned about her looks (which she didn`t need to, I must say) BUT she was into horseriding. BIG TIME. * This troper joked about wanting a pony so often that her Mother in Law bought her a life sized plushie one for Christmas. She named it Elmer B. Glue. * This troper was apparently obsessed with horses as a child. I really would still love to go REAL horseback riding rather than that dull horse trail tripe for tourists. * This troper really wanted a horse when she was a little girl. Unfortunately, she wanted a skeletal horse made out of bones (she was REALLY little, okay?) after seeing one on a horror show on TV. Why? Because at such a young age, she'd already grasped the concept of the RuleOfCool. * Subverted for this troper. She likes horses a lot and wishes she could ride them. She is also allergic to them. ** This troper would encourage you to look up the Bashkir Curly, a hypoallergenic breed. With dredlocks! * This troper remembers being shunned by her first-grade female classmates for not adoring horses. * [[{{Tropers.RainbowGirl}} I'm]] a girl, and I love horses, admittedly not with as much fanaticism as before (I'm 18.) My father's side of the family are very rural and two of my (female) relatives own stables, one of which I rode at from age 8 to when I was 14 (quit because of my Saturday job and school getting more hectic.) I still have my ginormous collection of model horses somewhere XD I'm now more into drawing horses. I do miss horseback riding though. /babble. * [[@/{{Miso}} This Troper]], for real. She wears an Ozzy-style trenchcoat and tons of jewelry on top of combat boots and a NiceHat. She listens to classic rock and her favorite bands are either 70s-90s rock and heavy metal, nu-metal, and/or brutal metal. She was ecstatic to learn that [[{{Aerosmith}} Joe Perry]] raises horses and is pretty happy to know she's not the only metalhead with a weakness for ponies. * [[@/{{Sharysa}} This troper]] is this, but mostly for horses, and finds their history in warfare particularly fascinating. She went horseback riding when visiting her family in the Philippines and liked it quite a bit, despite being a completely inexperienced rider at the time (it helped that she was riding with one of the workers, since her mount was quite large). She more than occasionally entertains the thought of having enough money to get lessons, buy her own horse, and [[BreadEggsMilkSquick learn various methods of mounted warfare because seriously, it is BADASS]]. [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial ...Not that she'd use it to intimidate people or anything.]] * "Of course, the trope is parodied when it's a boy or a guy who likes ponies." Yep, that's me. I was even a [[MyLittlePony Brony]] before

''Friendship is Magic'' even came out. Hey, {{Real Men Wear Pink}}. * Subverted: This troper's childhood was filled with the typical girly fare (fairies, butterflies, Disney princesses, etc.), but she was always repulsed by horses and ponies. She never understood the appeal of big, smelly, dumb animals with crazy eyes. * Subverted: This troper has been nearly obsessed with horses since she was small, but knew very few other girls who liked horses at all; she actually knew more who mocked her rather a lot for it. (When they hit middle school, that crowd decided that the troper [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean had a thing]] for horses. Not fun times.) * Dunno if this is subverted or not, but this troper (who is female but not particularly girly and loves horses) has never met a 'girly girl' who actually rides horses on a regular basis. The exception is this one girl who owns a pony, but pretty much gets someone else to take care of it for her. That said, it's bloody dangerous so I can see why girly girls who panic when they break a fingernail might be put off- my leg's currently in a cast thanks to a fall. * This troper has been completely obsessed with ponies at two different times in her childhood, and she was a tomboyish kid. She's gone off them now, which is ironic considering that nowadays, her cousin owns one. She prefers cats at the moment. But still thinks of horse riding as Badass, it's a sport in which you boss around a creature stronger and faster than you and are expected to at least fall off many times if not break bones. ** Exactly. ;) That's partially why I rides, as well as just liking them. If anyone makes her feel like not as good as them..."Oh yeah, I was bossing around a generally flighty animal that weighs 8-10 times the amount I do, and most of it's muscle. Let's see what you would look like on a horse..." Heck, most ponies are BETTER at tossing you off. * This troper wanted a Pegasus that was actually the cursed form of a WhiteHairedPrettyBoy when she was little. She loved ''SailorMoon'' a little too much back then... Hey, it might technically be bestiality, [[ but you gotta admit they're cute together!]] * [[@/HappyDuck This troper]] is a subversion if ever there was one. She absolutely doesn't understand what it is with girls and ponies. * This troper doesn't really like ponies, but has always liked shire horses, big pansies most of them. * This troper went to stable camp for a summer, and sometimes rode ponies and sometimes rode horses. Even though I thought of the ponies as cuter, they were all vicious. The horses were sweethearts, though. I still hate ponies. * Most of my friends liked horses when they were younger. I even liked them somewhat, but I never was obsessed with them. I thought they were interesting but that was it. * Subverted. As a child, I loved them, but by the time I turned 8, I didn't like them as much. Probably because the horse I rode on a mountain tour in Gatlinburg stopped every couple of seconds to eat or poop. * Subverted. This troper rode from a young age, and wanted a pony. Was

given a donkey originally instead. Eventually got a pony. End of story. * This troper, when younger, used to do Equestrian show jumping and she absolutely loves all breeds of horses. * This troper wants a horse, but more so for the reasons farmer and such have one rather then the feminine reasons girls want one. She also wants a rat, pig, cow, ferret, and rabbit, and a few more dogs. * Somewhat subverted with this troper. She never wanted to ''have'' a pony (only snakes, which she also never got) but does like riding horses. But this troper also thinks camels are awesome, and there's a reason the trope isn't All Girls Like Camels. Or even People Like Camels. It takes a special kind of person to look at a camel and go "I think they're adorable," but this troper is. * This tropette went through her pony phase around age 7. So for her 7th birthday, her parents organized a pony ride person to come. Yes. My daddy (and mommy) bought me a pony. * This tropette subverted it not only as a child, but to this very day. They scare the hell out of me. It's like their eyes see into my soul. * This troper trains horses, teaches lessons, and works as a stable/ farmhand. I've also worked at a horse camp during the summer; one that serves a particularly wealthy/ snobby area. At this camp, kids are exposed to all the areas of horse ownership, from riding to grooming to stall cleaning and the other less than glamorous tasks. At the beginning of the week, every single kid is obsessive about being near the horses and riding and all that jazz. By the end of the week, out of 10 kids, usually 1 or 2 are still as dedicated as they were at the start. It saddens me that a little dirt scares so many of them away. * Played ridiculously straight with this troper and her two sisters. All three were head over heels for horses from the ages of 6 We rode horses every summer at the same stables. This was turned into almost an exaggerated trope when, after many years of begging and pleading, our father bought and surprised us with an old Arabian to take care of. Granted we never thought he'd actually DO it. But because we were teenagers and since she was going to be put down otherwise, he figured we were old enough to be responsible. We spoiled that horse rotten until she passed on. * averted hard with this troper, who liked reading about horses ...until she started riding lessons. turns out, she's TERRIFIED of horse. the fact that her cousins forced her to ride one in a parade, where it bucked her off into the path of a fire truck did not help. * This trope is VERY USA-centric. In many other countries, liking horses automatically makes a girl a tomboy! I think this trope needs a big YMMV. * This troper rode from the age of 4 to 13. Only stopped due to there being only 3 riding schools in my local area, and I'd been to all three (one shut down, one got stupidly expensive and one one just plain rubbish) I still want to start riding again, and I'm 16. ---Ride back to AllGirlsLikePonies. ----


AllGirlsWantBadBoys When you add examples here, please make sure that they are indeed an example of the trope and that their contents follow the Wiki's general guidelines with regards to [[ Family Friendliness]]. Don't add yourself as a "subversion" or "aversion", unless it's a follow-up of the trope originally being played straight. There are several relationship tropes about liking nice guys as well (VictoriousChildhoodFriend, EarnYourHappyEnding, KnightInShiningArmour, SingleWomanSeeksGoodMan etc). And if you like ''fictional'' Bad Guys, that's DracoInLeatherPants territory. If you want to make detailed observations about the trope and how it applies in RealLife, you can use the [[Analysis/AllGirlsWantBadBoys Analysis page]] for those. Also, please make sure that your entry has some meat on its bones. Just adding "me too" doesn't do a lot to illustrate the trope. ---[[foldercontrol]] [[folder:Signed Examples]] * [[{{Tropers/Malchus}} This male troper's]] female friend has had quite a few words to say about this trope. If I may paraphrase: "Why the hell would I go after some self-absorbed angsty pretty boy way too preoccupied with his own issues? So I'd have to deal with them? Heh, no thanks! I'd rather have someone deal with ''my'' issues." The last part was said in jest, and I still thinks the whole thing's pretty hilarious. * An amazing subversion with [[{{Tropers/Leradny}} this troper]]: She saw a guy who was tall, dark, broody, and pretty damn handsome. Cue a [[GenreSavvy twinge of concern]] as she instantly started liking him. Then she decided to actually ''speak'' to him, and he turned out to be the cutest geek she's ever met. Who ''[[GeekyTurnOn cosplays]]''. ** Does this guy of yours have a brother? ** Looks like your geek-dar was in top form that day! ** Are you my wife? * [[Tropers/VF1SValkyrie This Troper]] was on the receiving end of this effect in high school. The girl with whom he had gone on several dates suddenly decided that she didn't feel like dating. Later, he saw said girl walking out of school hand in hand with a stereotypical skater bad boy. * This happened to [[Tropers/MalachiteDragon me]] with my exgirlfriend. Apparently, 5 years of being a GentleGiant and more or less a hugantic sweetheart just wasn't good enough for her- See, I'm

very, ''very'' difficult to make angry. And apparently, she got it into her crazy little head (I'm not saying this to be spiteful- she literally was, at the time, crazy- she had a mild form of schizophrenia) that I just wasn't good enough for her, '''''because I never got angry at her'''''. What...What the '''hell'''?! I thought know... girls ''enjoyed'' guys showering them with attention at every possible moment the way I did with her. Well, things ended rather badly and it's only recently that she's admitted that she was wrong...only after both of us were in new relationships, of course...I give you a paraphrase. --->'''Me:''' "Well, what's the problem?" --->'''Her:''' "You just... don't show that much ''emotion''. You're so predictable! You're all loving and patient and calm's annoying." --->'''Me:''' "...Wait, are you upset with me because ''I'' never get upset at ''you?!''" --->'''Her:''' "..." --->'''Me:''' "Lovely." '''* Facepalm* ''' --->'''Her:''' "Well, its...I mean...Uhm..." --->'''Me:''' "I have ''told'' you why I keep my temper so carefully. I have ''told'' you I don't want to turn into my father. Is this a problem now?" --->'''Her:''' "..." --->'''Me:''' "...I am nowhere near caffienated enough for this conversation." '''* Get up to get some coffee. Its gonna be a loooong night...* ''' * [[{{Tropers/Alrune}} This female troper]] admits she once was attracted to bad boys... back in her teens. But having grown up since, I automatically avoid them and refuse their propositions for I have witnessed the outcome of such relationships too many times with my female friends. Yes, they look sexy and manly but that's all they have. I admit bluntness and earthy looks are still a turn-on but {{Jerkass}}ery, oversized egos and abusive treatment are left to little girls in search of consistence through {{Love Martyr}}dom. I have better things to do with my time, thanks. * [[Tropers/DeathToSquishies This troper's]] very first relationship (if you can even call it that) started in the second year of high school. It ended after a couple of days, with no real reason or logic given behind it. Less than a week later, we talked again, and she told me she was already in a new relationship with a guy who supposedly lived in my neighborhood and that she found. The kicker? She told me he was ''[[FlatWhat in jail]]'' at the time. [[/folder]] [[folder:Anonymous Examples]] * This troper embodies both sides of the argument. Most of the time he comes across as a happy, quite smart guy, and attracts a wide circle of friends because of it - but no romance. The two girls he's let the mask slip to to reveal himself to be a BrokenAce, and quite a lot smarter than he comes across, have subsequently dated him. * One of the girls I like said that I was a great friend, but she

wasn't interested in me. She is now dating a tall, pale(er than me, but I have been getting a good bit of sun lately), black haired, stereotypical goth. Apparently he's already ''set his room on fire'' since they've been dating. She found it funny. I find the fact that she burned her hand on a lightbulb while telling me that funny and ominous. * This Troper (who should probably make a contributor page one of these days) was TroubledButCute in high school, and has since matured into a kind (if still unintentionally sharp-edged), friendly man. He feels absolutely astounded to find that along with his immaturity, shyness, belief in conspiracy theories, and bitter hatred of the rest of humanity, his appeal to women seems to have gone right out the window. * This Troper is a decent guy who always treats women respectfully. And has, in his entire life, only had two women who were interested in him as he naturally is. However, when he's in a bad mood and acts like a complete dick towards people, he finds women practically falling all over him. * sigh* If his sense of ethics didn't condone such behavior, he'd continue to act like a dick just to 'get the girl'. Damned conscience. * Similar problem for this Troper. After being the nice guy for many years he feel into a depression for a couple months of junior year of high school during which he became a total jerk. During those months he had his first date, his first time being asked to winter formal, first seduction, and first time a girl admitted to having a crush on him. When the depression ended he went back to being a nice guy and returned to a stagnant life of being entirely uninteresting to women. * This Troper's friend falls into the trope. She kept getting back together with the same guy who kept breaking up with her before their anniversary. They got back together 9 times before she finally broke up with him. In between all these getting back togethers, she lost her virginity to a guy who sexually harassed her (actually making her perform fellatio against her will two weeks before he slept with her) but she slept with him despite not even being drunk. The next guy she dated was a good guy and the broke up after one week. The most recent guy was a sadist and often pressured her into S&M. * This Troper once heard a girl (who happens to hang out in the same group as him) complain about her past relationships being with jerky guys. He suggested going out with a mutual friend, who had had a crush on her for two years and would have respected her, but she declined she didn't want a guy who is "too nice". * This female Troper somewhat confirms this Trope. She's still slightly in lust with her TroubledButCute ex-boyfriend. He's not really ''bad'', per say, just unstable. And dead sexy. * This Troper finds that this is 100% TruthInTelevision. I attend an all-boys school, although it shares some facilities with the all-girls school next door. The girls always seem to fall for the guys who are openly total jerks. * I must be too nice...every girl seeing me comments on how cute I am, but nobody wants to date me. No, they'd rather go for the {{Jerk Jock}}s and TheStoner. * Sigh.* I have books. * This troper has had it happen to him often but another friend is an

even better example. He was comforting a friend who had broken up with a jerk who was abusing her. She said to the friend, who had a large crush on her by the way, "If only I could date a nice guy like you." He replied "How about a nice guy who is me?" She gave a long rambling answer but it basically came down to the fact that he wasn't dangerous enough and she wanted excitement. To this day, this troper still winces whenever he hears about the girl and the friend in the same sentence. * This troper plays guitar and piano, he also plays football, baseball, basketball, and soccer well enough to outdo people who are on his school's team. Yet still he is told that girls find him "too nice" because he is not a testosterone filled chauvinist and does not always speak in monosyllables. * This whole troper's love life consists of this trope. I'm apparently appealing enough to ''get'' a girlfriend - but I've been dumped, ''without exception'', within the week, in favor of someone who looks like they drink distilled steroids for breakfast. * This troper's love interest dumped him for his best friend, who used to be some kind of hooligan... * This troper was cured of any mooning over jackass guys very early on. Being not the most attractive of girls, she was usually the target of the jackass guys. No desire to date erupting there, just a desire to maim. It does not help that of the few people that have asked her out or told her she was cute, 7 were joking, 1 just wanted to get in her, or anyone's, pants, 1 were on a rebound and just trying to get a little confidence back, and the last is the only one who seems to be honest, but is currently in a relationship. [[SarcasmMode No confidence issues there...]] * I'm right there with you. Honestly, why would I find a guy attractive if he's always insulting me? It happened back in ''middle school'', but earned me such an anti-social reputation that it crippled my dating life for ''years'' and left me with such HUGE ISSUES... * sigh* * This male Troper suffered from this for years. Girls that he was nice to saw him as a pushover, while the girls that he wasn't interested in wouldn't leave him alone. So I concentrated on cultivating other interests and activities and really didn't miss the stress of dating. A few years later, I'm more balanced and mature, and in a relationship with a great girl. Lesson: Don't make your happiness contingent on how others see you. * This female troper has crushed on aloof, brash, and/or joker-type boys for as long as she could remember. Her first subversion is her current crush, who's kind, sweet, and intelligent. Sign of maturity, perhaps? * A story from a friend of this Troper's brother, who had an acquaintance who married a man who forbids her to work (for reasons of his culture), doesn't work himself either, and beats her. If you think she'd be sane enough to leave him ASAP, you're wrong. * This troper's brother is the jerk and he's the nice guy. Of course his brother gets all the girls. However, on occasions we somehow switch roles and this troper actually succeeds before he starts to feel bad about his actions.

* I'm a friendzoner extraordinaire. Despite being handsome enough to get hit on by random girls in the street, I wind up being "the one guy who understands them" in a quick series of conversations and jokes. I find this to be kind of sad. ** Similar for this troper. He has an impressive sense of humor that many women have described as hysterical and has been told by countless numbers of them that he should have his own talkshow. However the girls always go for a guy who is funny in a cruel way rather than for me. * This troper sat behind one of the hottest girls in school for one year. During that year she hardly ever noticed him but after he made a joke that wound up being unintentionally insulting she became his friend. I wasn't enough of a JerkAss to get a date but apparently enough of one to get good friend status in under two weeks. * Both played straight and subverted by this female troper, who as a rule likes intelligent, fun, genuinely nice guys, but whose [[FirstKiss First Kiss]] at fifteen was at a party with a guy she was dancing with and who had a pretty bad rep (I didn't find that out until later, but he ''looked'' the part). * For the first fews years this troper spent in America, women consistently fell for him because they -thought- his unusually large kippah was worn just to break rules, that his stoic demeanor came from angst, rather than poor english, and that, since he trained in Krav Maga, he would beat up anyone for no reason. Two years ago, when they learned that he was reluctant to fight, kept a garden and spent more time in Synagogues than in his own home, he suddenly became gay and unattractive - coincidence? * I'm nice to the people I like, and can be an ass to the people I do not like. Most of my friends are female because I think they are less annoying than the men I know (they personify this trope), and I am usually very nice to them, and they are nice to me as well. But, I would never have a chance with them because they all go for people who look like they are in some metalcore band with gauges, emo hair, piercings, and tattoos, along with the Jocks, the Stoners, the Partiers, and the loud frat boy assholes. I am a reasonably attractive person... but then again I go on here, I like Star Wars, and I spend most of my time playing Video Games... So I'm a nerd, and girls probably don't want the nerd. * This troper finds that this trope is true to her. There are two types of men she'll swoon over: Stoic Glasses guys and Bad Boys. Which might possibly be considered one type of guy. But whatever. * I have witnessed at least one case in person of a perfectly nice girl going out with a "bad boy" and constantly getting treated badly. Usually she'd end up in tears, but despite the advice of her best friends, she'd keep going back to this guy. The relationship only recently ended and the girl is still in tears, her friends are still trying to help her though. Another example of truth in this trope is another guy I know whose had many, many girlfriends, although he distinctly fits the "asshole" category. He regularly abuses girls and the few I've been able to help through this have complained that he's made them feel a "pain far more awful than just simple bullying. He makes it hell".

* A friend of mine who I describe as the "most sympathetic outsider ever" got girls easily, sometimes two at the same time. And a girl I was quite fond of, and almost fell in love with... followed a break-up with hooking up with three bad guys in a row. * This editor can't claim personal experience, never having lost a girl to a bad boy, but has certainly seen it happen to male and female friends on both sides of the trope often enough. * Back when I was a teenager, [[{{Tropers/notdryad}} I]] probably used this as an excuse, but not so much anymore. I do remember one girl in particular now that I think about this. Long story short, she was already dating a bad boy and she acknowledged that he was one and was an asshole. I eventually told her that I had a crush on her, but she insisted it would never work because we were so different. One time, as it happened a lot with being friend zoned, she began to complain to me about how much of an asshole her boyfriend could be (pretty sure he cheated on her once), so then I asked her, "Why don't you just date a nice guy for once?" "Because I don't deserve someone like you" she replied. ''What the hell?'' * Sadly, I admit to falling into this particular Trope. In my whole high school experience I only crushed on two nice guys. One just wanted to be friends, the other was taken (I had my suspicions that he might have liked me though). All the rest were rather jerky players. Unfortunately, I learned my lesson the hard way, and actually got some self esteem to boot. * Oh wow, this applies to me sadly. This girl I met not too long ago and talk to nearly every day, all day likes me, and tells me she loves me nearly everyday, etc. The feeling is mutual, however, she's totally in love with this kid she used to date who lives in a trailer, got kicked out of every school he's ever gone to, is on parole, and into some hardcore drugs and has weapons. Even worse, he's 15 and she's 18. The kid is dumb as a rock and is a total loser, but he makes her wet and she's driven to him. He's cheated on her and threatened to force himself on her in past relationships, and everyone says he's ugly and an asshole and she's too good for him. But his middle name is danger, so I'm fucked. * This troper, right down to the letter. Never mind that he used her, has commitment issues that would make your average commitmentphobe blink twice, cannot be faithful to save his life, and is probably into some fairly dangerous shit - if he called, I'd come running. * This (gay) troper is very attracted to bad boys, emphasis on "bad", so much that his perfect boyfriend would be an abusive jerkass sociopath. He feels kind of guilty about it. * Glad I'm not the only guy who has this problem. I've noticed that rock band members seem to be the people who seem to get all the girls, [[SuspiciouslySpecificDenial but I'm sure it is down to coincidence.]] [[OrIsIt Or not.]] Considering I sing folk music...yeah. * I spent a long, long time trapped in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship... I swear, he was like Jekyll and Hyde. Sometimes he could be the nicest guy ever, but then suddenly some strange thing would set off his anger and he would turn extremely nasty and physically violent. It was unhealthy as hell; the number of times the neighbours complained about our screaming and slapping

matches, and the number of times police got involved (but did nothing about it) and ''I'' nearly got arrested because they believed him over me was unreal. We broke up so many times, but then he would always come back begging for another chance, spamming my inbox with a mix of angry and whiny text messages, saying he loved me and promised things would get better all that sort of peachy B.S. Well, naturally, they never did, and I was weak then, so it took me a long time to finally put my foot down and just say "No" and break it off for good... it had completely destroyed my life by that point, so I needed to take a step forward... * I did once have a big crush on a "Bad Boy" except we called them rebels. He was and I mean WAS, popular, "confident", arrogant, seemed gifted with the ability to get what he wanted, was rumoured to smoke and do drugs too. Pretty much a bad boy and a rebel. I have outgrown it somewhat and now I'm crushing on an under-stated, standard chilled social life, relaxed non-rebel type. Boys there is hope if you're not bad. It just takes girls longer to realize how good you really are if you are good. It helps if you're non-arrogant too. It also helps if your geniunely nice and don't invade their space or come off as cocky. * This Troper fell in love with a bad boy with a heart of gold character, then later fell for his holder ** who can be a bad boy when he wants to be ;) * A really cool girl I thought about asking out started comparing me to her ex-boyfriend and how his loud, vulgar and, [[HairTriggerTemper fiery]] personality shows how mature and strong he is compared to my nicer, calm and cool personality. She thinks I lack confidence because I try to put up a cool front and only acts nice hoping I might find a girl that wants a boy toy. Never mind the fact my kindness is trying to show respect. I'm cool and calm because I am confident, there's no need for me to mouth off to tell everyone I'm sure of myself when my actions speaks louder. That conversation led me into a fight because of her ex-boyfriend's need to protect his image and he got stomped. After that fight she suddenly shows interest in me because she knows why I'm so [[AfroAssKicker calm and cool]]. Still can't figure it out years later. Oh well. * This troper's best female friend and crush (yes, I'm the UnluckyChildhoodFriend here, big deal) used to date a guy who was this completely. He was impossibly good looking, loved to get drunk (at age 14), was a complete ChickMagnet; while my friend was a hotter version of the GirlNextDoor, a good girl who fell for the TroubledButCute Jerk. Needless to say, I hated him, and then I get to know him, and discovered he was actually a JerkWithAHeartOfGold and deeply cared about her. Sadly, he's also a CrazyJealousGuy, and since all of his friends developed a crush on his girlfriend (she's a guy magnet, I guess), that was slowly killing the relationship. And then they got back together, broke up again... Now they're JustFriends. Let's see how much that will last. * This troper gets SO much pain from this. I'm not ugly or anything (though it certainly wouldn't hurt me to lose a few pounds) but I'm just too kind for all the girls to actually attract any of them, not to mention that I'm totally the ShrinkingViolet type. The one girl with whom I've been in a relationship decided, after a few months,

that I'm "too nice and too romantic" and she'd prefer a brutal bad boy whose reaction to teasing (and she teases everyone constantly) would be to pull her to himself and just, you know... start going at it; yep, that's the exact words. I just can't do something like that, folks. I just can't. And later, a female friend told me something along the lines of "It'd be nice if you found yourself a girlfriend. But that'll be difficult, because you're such a good person that one can see it by just looking at you, and girls just aren't atracted to that type". Cue HeroicBSOD. Ugh. Well, I'm back to writing novels... it's a good anaesthetic. * This Troper is home-schooled, and he doesn't have that much experience when it comes to girls. He also has an Identical twin [[AlwaysIdenticalTwins Brother]] (he is also a troper). We has a [[{{HeterosexualLifePartners}} really great friend]] and he lets us know when girls have crushes on us. (we have a band together and he show other friends from school pictures of us all). Oddly enough, the Girls tend to find me the cutest out of me and my brother, at first i was confused but now I think I know why: You can already tell just by looking at me that's I'm the most angsty of the two of us. I tend to have a short temper and get angrier then him. Then again, I don't have much experience when It comes to girls so I could be completely wrong *laughs*! [[/folder]] ---Go back to AllGirlsWantBadBoys, unless you'd rather go to DracoInLeatherPants. ----

AllGuysWantCheerleaders * Whoever said the skimpy outfits are an example of {{Reality is Unrealistic}} lives in a more sane Reality than this troper. My high school had an insanely strict dress code. Every morning we raised our arms and if ''any'' midriff could be seen, we had to put on a baggy tshirt that said "Tomorrow I Will Dress For Success" that had been worn by many people before. Skirts were measured with rulers. At least a few people got detention for violations everyday. Except the cheerleaders. Their tops showed their entire midriffs and skirt hems were at least 3 inches higher than the dress code. Moral of the story: underage girls are allowed to be sexy as long as they're being sexy ''[[{{Unfortunate Implications}} the way the administration tells them to be]]''. * This troper is a cheerleader in the USA, and ever since then guys have been paying attention to her. Guys walk up to her mentioning they take a class with her for no reason and flirt. BTW, yes, this troper likes a football player. * Averted 100% with [[NewKidOnTheBlock this troper]]. He cannot for the life of him stand the brainless [[TheLibby Libby]] types, and is particularly turned off if they're obsessed with making themselves look skinny as a twig and putting on hordes of makeup. I like my

ladies mature, competent, and sensible, thank you very much. ** So if they're cheerleaders they're Brainless libbies? LOLWUT ** What if they are mature, but they just put up with the uniforms because they really enjoy cheerleading as a physical activity? * This troper prefers librarian types. If they happen to be yandere meganekko otakus, all the better. * Completely averted in this female English tropers high school. We had a cheerleading club once, but barely anyone went, and I got laughed at every time I came in late after lunch because of the club. Because cheerleading's not really something the British do, no one wanted to go near it. Averted even more in that I physically look a bit cheerleaderish; slim (not really skinny), with long wavy blonde hair and blue eyes. I avert the image by being a librarian. No one at school has ever asked me out. * This Troper has seen a female version of the trope. ** You mean lesbians, or a guy joining the cheer squad and becoming wanted by the girls? *** Both. * At This troper's high school, most of the cheerleaders aren't that hot (and try to hard to look so), and the ones that are pretty much all not very nice, to put it delicately, and are universally hated. ** That sums up Alma mater as well, although there was one exception. I was friends with her and she was a cloud cuckoolander, on the Acadec team... * This tropette has this happening in her middle school. Even in sixth grade, the year where girls can't even get ON the cheer squad! * In high school, this troper and his band performed a song about cheerleaders in front of the school, and were subsequently kissed by several members of the cheerleading squad. * Averted with this troper. Mr Popular apparently prefers complete nerds to cheerleaders.... * Played with at this tropers band camp. The director was talking about his family, and how everyone is connected to band. One of the other students asked about his wife. "Well," he says, "She was a cheerleader." Cue: "Whoa, mama!" from a trumpet. HilarityEnsues. * Somewhat in effect at This Troper's school. There's a group of pseudo-Libby types, and most guys have their eye on at least one. This Troper really cannot see the appeal. At all. * Cheerleaders are people too, of all different personalities and likes and passions. Some happen to like nerds and geeks very much, like me. Admittedly, it was a short affair, but we are still good friends and I still think fondly of her rather dry wit (She now studies law. Is that a Subversion?) * This troper believes that stereotyping people is a terrible way to decide if you want someone. He would much rather get to know someone based on their personality first. * [[Troper/AdelePotter This Tropette]] has a friend Talia who wants to be on the cheer squad (unless she's [[BerserkButton insulted]], she's sweet as can be, by the way), and practically every boy at her school has a crush on her. She has a boyfriend, though. * Somewhat justified at my high school- most of the cheerleaders were fairly nice. The Libbies wouldn't do anything that might make them

sweat, and most of our squads used serious gymnastics. * This Troper does not understand the appeal of cheerleaders; [[{{Eagleland}} it must be an American thing.]] * This trope is completely nonexistent at this troper's high school. The cheer squad was considered kind of a joke, and has since sorta...fizzled. One of this troper's best friends (who is, like this troper, a nerd) has been dating one of the cheerleaders almost continuously for about 2 years now (the cheerleader in question is also this troper's friend -- she's quite nice, and only a tiny bit of a DumbBlonde). None of the cheerleaders are at all [[TheLibby Libby-ish]] or exceptionally sought-after. * Back when this troper lived in US, the hottest girls in high school were either cheerleaders or volleyball players. In former's case, there were some smoking hot girls, and average intelligence actually seemed pretty normal. I honestly expected more skimpier clothings like I saw in TV. * This troper's first high school had a very, very small cheerleading team with only one girl on it who was relatively attractive that I remember. Mind you, being attractive doesn't mean I'm going to be attracted; I have different standards. Subverted, though, because despite being traditionally attractive she didn't seem to have that many guys going for her. And she wasn't even a Libby, she was a genuinely nice--if dull--girl. I helped her and her much less attractive friend with their homework on more than one occasion. ---Go back to AllGuysWantCheerleaders. Or, if you prefer, you can whore yourself up to TheLibby. ----

AllJewsAreAshkenazi * [[AresGotANewComputer This Troper's]] great-grandmother forbade her children from dating anyone who wasn't an Ashkenazic Jew. This was after WWII, no less. She nearly disowned my first-cousin-once-removed for marrying a woman whose ''father'' was Sephardic. * This troper is a Mexican Sephardic Jew, and even with that background, I'm terrible guilty of this trope, specially in the fact most of the expressions I use come from the Yiddish language, very few from Hebrew, and none from the Ladino (A Sephardic language);All I have to say is: Damn TV! * This troper is an Ashkenazi jew, and after leavig Israel she noticed that practically all the jews in Europe are Ashkenazi. That's okay with me, though, the jews who aren't Ashkenazi are usually annoying. Unless they're from Argentina, of course. * A bit of an inversion: I thought someone was Jewish because he had the last name Cohen once. * Interesting because, as far as I know, Cohen is a Sephardic surname (comes from Cunha) ** Cohen shows up both in Ashkenazi and Sepharadi circles. It comes from the Hebrew 'Cohen', which means 'priest' * At this troper's Jewish day school, all the students in this

troper's grade are Ashkenazi, and then one person is half Ashkenazi and half Sephardic. ** actually in this isrealy troper class, most kids are half Ashkenazi and half Sephardic, with this troper being one of the only two Ashkenazi kids (half-german, half-polish) * My paternal great-grandma's maiden name was a german-jewish but her family praticed christianity though, which probaly meant that they were just jews ethnically but not religously. i think they qualify as being called as askenazi jews ** also my some of my mom's ancestors came from southern spain, and people from southern spain are racially mixed. i wouldn't be suprised if i had sephardic jew ancestry too. * This Troper is a Syrian Jew (making me Sephardi in America and Mizrachi in Israel). This is no big deal at home, but during my first year of college, everyone assumed I was Ashkenazi, and was positively ''shocked'' that a Syrian could be this white. It was frustrating. After the millionth "no, nobody in my family knows Yiddish. They spoke Arabic in the 'Old Country,'" and "yes, I am aware that I don't look like an Arab" you kind of just give up. ---Oi vey. Might as well go back to AllJewsAreAshkenazi. ----

AllJustADream Sometimes, weird stuff happens. But, more often than not, it didn't. ---* This Troper once had a dream where... '''My mom was pregnant'''. The dream started normally with my parents and aunt picking me up from the local arcade/family fun center so we could to the Victoria's Secret at the nearby mall to shop for underwear. Then, the scene changes from a Friday or Saturday afternoon to a Saturday or Sunday morning in Bishop, California, and we're driving through town, when my mom's water breaks and we had to get to a hospital, which looked strangely like the hospital in my hometown. Anyway, as my mom is giving birth and stuff, my aunt decides to go off and watch it while my dad and I wait in the waiting room. Since we were going to wait for hours, I pull out my laptop and begin playing a {{Pokemon}} emulator on my computer. Shortly after I began playing Pokémon, I woke up. When I told my mom the dream, she was quite shocked, as she doesn't want another child. * I once had a dream where Everyone was told that a nuke was going to go off very soon, so my family and I all got in the car and drove to the hall at my school where there were a bunch of other people waiting aswell. When the nukes were supposedly about to hit I decided to stay inside, because I didn't believe it would happen, while everyone else went outside to watch the nuke hit. There were about five other people inside, one of them decided to write some sort of apology letter when all of a sudden there was a big rush of dust and light and everything went dark. I assumed I had died, when it turned out that what had happened was the shock of the dream had woken me, and I just hadn't opened my eyes. I had about ten good seconds of thinking I was dead

before I realised I could open my eyes and see my bedroom. It was a little bitt unnerving to say the least. * One day, my school was considering having a snow day, but they weren't too sure and informed us that they'd let us know later at night. While waiting for this, I fell asleep and had a dream where the principal announced that there was no snow day. The dream continued on with me going to spanish class, history class, psychical education, and English before I woke up. I was extremely confused, seeing as nothing strange happened at all. It took me a while to sort out what had just happened before I realized the whole thing was just a dream. * [[Tropers/MrGlow I]] had a dream about doing [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean IT]] with a RealLiveWoman only to wake up with the sheets all sticky. What does this mean?! Plz help. ** My friend, it simply means that you're a normal, healthy young man. You experienced what is clinically called "nocturnal emission." Go online and look it up, lest you run the risk of [[YouFailSexEdForever getting wrong information from]] [[DidNotDoTheResearch questionable sources.]] ** [[BlatantLies No! Do not listen to their lies my friend. It is your soul trying to escape from your body. The only way to reclaim it is to ingest it! Do so now, lest you become a shadow of what you once were!]] * [[Tropers/HyperSquirrel I]] constantly have dreams that I'm late for class, or that I failed a test, or I got a report card back with all failing classes... then after quite a bit of panicking, I remember that I've already graduated. I also have a strange reoccurring dream every three years or so-- I'm walking, then lift my legs up under me, hold my ankles, and hover down the same direction I'd been walking. I always completely forget about these dreams until I have them again. No idea what they mean, not sure I want to know. * I have a bit of a problem with dreaming. Often times, even when I just wake up, I thought that I "didn't dream". Then I go about my day and occasionally reference an event or action to someone as if it really happen, only to find out that I dreamed it. This got particularly awkward when this troper started puberty... ** Same for this troper. One particulary weird example was when she dreamt about failing her maths exam, thought it was real, told it to her mother and got house arrest, only to find out that it was a dream when she got the real test back with an A. There was also a time when she dreamt that she reads the next chapter of One Piece and Ace gets back to life, and well... gets disappointed. * When I sleep, I feel that my eyes are still open and I'm just watching my room. Eventually I "lose focus" and wake up in the morning (I assume I'm slipping into REM sleep). Am I really going to school? I've recently expressed a wish to go to sleep forever but, I hope this isn't it. * I once had a dream that I was in the park. We were all enjoying sandwiches and our time together. Thats when TheDeadliestMushroom appeared on the other side of the city. Thus began my dream of surviving the nuclear holocaust. We took shelter in the basement of a nearby building, and waited there. After about a week, we ran out of food and had to leave the shelter in the basement. We came out to find

the whole city in ruins. The grass in the park burned down, and the lake near the park became a swamp. Trying to get water and fish, a crazy raiding party came up, stabbed both my parents, and threw them in the lake to drown. They grabbed me too, stabbed me, and threw me in as well. Moment I would have hit the water, my body suddenly jerks in bed and I wake up. I was traumatized for weeks. * I once had a dream that took place in either the north or south pole. (Have you seen that short with the whales swimming at night and the kid whale gets separated from their mom in Fantasia? That was pretty much the setting) for some reason, me and a group of faceless people were jumping into these holes in the ice that were kinda like tube water slides. I remember that the water was pleasantly cool and I was looking at my face (Still in the tube current, but now I'm laying on my back in the water and my face is partially out of the water, like I surfaced or something) and I was smiling slightly with my eyes closed and feeling completely peaceful and at one with myself. The next face I see is Captain Jack Sparrow from POTC, for some reason (Same expression as me). I reach the end of the current, get onto the ice, look at the northern lights for a bit and the whales that are there, and then help some of the others get onto the ice as well. I wake up, and the feeling of complete peace and oneness stays for a second or two, and then disappears. I end up crying because of how nice it felt, and because of how sad I was that the feeling was gone. * One night, I had an incredibly epic, totally awesome dream which would have made a great movie probably. It was definately long enough, and it had character development and everything. Unfortunately, he has completely forgotten everything except for the beginning, the conclusion, and a random image from the middle involving a shadow dragon thing coiled around a tower. * Zombie invasion dreams. I've had two, and the first was HORRIBLY disturbing. It started out as a kinda ''{{Left 4 Dead}}'' thing, where I and another group of people were being lead to be executed by firing squad. Sometime later all hell breaks loose and it's basically JESUS CHRIST ZOMBIES EVERYWHERE. Anyway, I go hide in a house and watch as a mob of zombies tear a guy apart, I must have become lucid at that point because the death looked B-movie-ish. And then I woke up. ** I once had a very strong fear of zombies (started when he read the Zombie Survival Guide) which once manifested itself in a truely horrifying nightmare. There was a full Zombie Apocalypse, his dad was killed, there was a giant hole in his house where the zombies could get through, and it ended with commiting suicide through overdose. It was terrible. ** Are you both secretly me? * @/AnthonyMercer was doing his chemistry homework. I remembered back to my chemistry lesson that day, when our teacher had explained that the test for hydrogen gas was to put the test tube in your mouth... it wasn't until then that I realised I must have fallen asleep during the chemistry lesson... ** I would hope so. * I had many such dreams, two of which are awesome. The first was a sort of MortalKombat sort of thing, but instead of the regular characters, we had characters from the DC Universe,

ThatGuyWithTheGlasses, the Warner siblings from {{Animaniacs}}, the bots from MysteryScienceTheater3000, {{Peanuts}}, CalvinandHobbes, and a few characters that I made up myself. They had less gory fatalities, because I'm a tad sqeamish, but just as awesome. For example, Wakko hammered his opponent into the ground with his mallet, Linkara did his "I AM A MAN!" punch, TheNostalgiaChick pulled a BigLippedAlligatorMoment, and many more awesome stuff. I woke up wanting a video game of it. ** The second one I can barely remember. It involved a catfight between Fifi La Fume and Minerva Mink. Yakko and Wakko and I watched. I woke up panting because it was hot, and mildly freaked out because 1: I am not a furry, and 2: it involved darn weird BDSM elements that I was totally freaked out was. The hot outweighed the freaky however. * @/DarkInsanity13 has had times when, after being woken up by her mother or father, has gotten up and sat down at the breakfast table with everyone sitting down and waiting for breakfast...only to be confused when her mother suddenly shouts at her that her breakfast is ready, and realize that she had fallen asleep after being asked what she wanted for breakfast. Her brother, on the other hand, has gone through entire ''days'' with experiences like these. ** That's nothing! I have gone through an entire ''year'' in one night! He still has no idea how that happened. *** What's [[{{Dallas}} J.R.]] really like? **** I'll beat ALL of you- I once dreamt that I did my homework. Then I woke up and realized that I had to do it all over again. * @/{{Joysweeper}} has had ''so'' many of these... In the latest one, she had a venomous and extremely cranky snake which was kept in a box that she had to carry with her all the time, lest it escape. She remembers repeatedly wishing she didn't have the snake, and trying to sell it or give it away to people she knows in real life, and everyone refused. When she woke up, there was definitely a moment of "OhCrap, where's the box?!" ** I once had the same thing. In the dream, my rat was on my shoulder at 6 Flags, but kept jumping off to attack penguins. When I woke up, I worried that either she wasn't on my shoulder, or I had rolled over her in the night. She was in her cage, like normal. * I recalls hearing from somewhere that you can't actually feel physical sensation in dreams, only hear or see. This made it all the more vivid when I dreamed that I was seated next to one of my good friends (who I happened to have a crush on), with one arm around her shoulders. We leaned our heads in , resting our cheeks on one another's, and the corners of our mouths touched. There was a momentary pause, then we turned and kissed. I could feel all of it the dream was so vivid, it all could have been happening. Then I woke up, still feeling the warm softness of her cheek on mine. ** Sounds like a fanfiction I read once. *** I had that once too... only I woke up feeling empty and lonely. *** Same with @/{{evilpenguin556}}, except its rarely a friend of his. It's usually just a faceless mystery girl, but one he feels like he's known all his life... It's kind of embarrassing, really. *** Seriously, are you guys me? I considers waking up from these a particularly nasty DownerEnding.

*** @/MmmKay has hugged [[{{Thunderbirds}} Scott Tracy]] at least twice. * I had been staying up late all term, playing around online, and then falling asleep during her first period English class in grade nine. So she wasn't surprised to suddenly wake up and find herself in her seat, in class. What ''was'' startling was waking up again...still in her pajamas, still in bed. The OhCrap moment came when she realized that no, she hadn't woken up 'just in time' for school. (No, there were no lessons learned about staying up too late.) ** [[MindScrew What the...?]] * I have suffered from this one a lot recently. Out of the dreams I remember each week, most of them involve me hooking up with her again. I spend the rest of the dream being happy...until morning comes and reality reminds she's still gone. * I have woken up when sleeping with other people, and said random phrases that could have been lifted from Pinky of PinkyAndTheBrain. Such jewels include "Who am I, where am I, and why am I covered in feathers?" Only God knows what I was thinking or dreaming. ** Just so long as it didn't include the phrase [[{{Deadpool}} No, Ken, don't do that to's so very, very wrong.."]] ** You didn't by any chance [[Literature/{{Twilight}} eat a popsicle]] before bed, did you? * I have very ''vivid'' dreams, and nightmares, for that matter. On the good side, I once did dream that my beloved, departed father [[SpiritAdvisor returned to encourage me]]. On the bad side, I once dreamed that I had my fingers bitten off by vicious Dobermans (seriously, I believe I could feel it)--and woke up with my hand brushing a stuffed animal. [[ScreamsLikeALittleGirl Screaming ensued]]. ** @/SpectrumFizz has very similar dreams, equally as vivid, regarding her late father and rather nasty black dogs trying to maul her. However, the latter is probably due to an unfortunate encounter with a huge black dog in her younger years. The adults present at the time said that [[BlatantLies it was only being friendly]]. Her mother and herself knew otherwise and she still haven't overcome her fear of dogs. But, I am going off-topic... She once had a very unique dream involving a realistic-feeling brick wall, a huge glass jar of maple syrup, a dressing gown and the [[LooneyTunes Tasmanian Devil]]. The next morning, she wakes up feeling like a {{CloudCuckooLander}}. * I can't really brush nightmares off with, "It was only a dream", as ussually when I wake up, it's still night. * Worst dream ever: the subject of my [[AllLoveIsUnrequited unrequited love]] finally subverts that trope and falls in love with me. Imagine my grief when I realize that this was, in fact, only just a dream. ** I had the same experience. In fact, when I woke up, I tried to go back to sleep in hopes that I wouldn't have to face it not being real. ** Similar dream here, but the fact that she did subvert the trope tipped me off that I was dreaming. Not sure what that says about my self-esteem... ** A variant: due to mess-ups on my part, I haven't talked to the former holder of the above title (and former good friend) for over a year. I woke up one morning and was going about my normal routine,

feeling pleased and content that we'd made up, for about ten minuesyou guys can see where this is going, yes? ** I had one where this girl I had a crush on came to my bedroom door with only weird clouds covering her naughty bits and we began walking around our school (which somehow ended up outside my room). We then began walking up a mountain trail with cherry blossom petals on it. Suddenly I fell off the side and was hanging on to the edge trying to pull myself up. I told her to go on ahead and I'd catch up as she set off again (then a old couple walked past). When I finally got to the top (thanks to the magic of fast forwarding) I started to look for her, but couldn't find her. As I looked my mom began dragging me away telling me to get up. I finally woke up and began trying in vain to get back to the dream. To make it weirder, the girl moved away not long after that. * I have woken up, eaten breakfast, brushed her teeth, gotten dressed, and made her way out the door when she was again woken up by her sister and realized it was simply a dream and that she had to do it all over again. These types of dreams were increasingly frequent during her first year of high school. ** As a more depressing variant, I once had a dream where her best friend had died. In the dream, her mother told her the news nonchalantly and continued about her business while I broke down sobbing. When she woke, she had tears in her eyes and quite possibly the worst sadness she had ever felt in her life. When she got to school that day, she hugged her friend quite a lot. * @/MinusZero will, many times on Thursday/Friday nights have dreams where a perfectly normal day pass in the dream, I go to sleep in my dream, have another dream (normally odd), and wake up in real life, thinking it's Saturday. Only to realize I almost missed all of my classes. Sometimes, however, that dream will go on in waaaaaay to many cycles, and I wake up in a WhatYearIsThis moment. * @/RatOfSteel has had a periodically recurring dream wherein he's in high school (at his proper high-school age, not all grown up as he is now), and taking time during the lunch hour to play ''Magic: the Gathering'' with his friends. He found the anachronistic nature of it rather odd, being that he graduated from high school in 1990, three years before Wizards of the Coast would set the gaming world on fire by releasing the first edition of the now-iconic card game. In fact, after the first two or three times this dream happened, said oddness tipped him off during the card games that he was dreaming. (Unfortunately, such knowledge didn't enable him to gain the insanely good luck possessed by the main characters of {{Yu-Gi-Oh}}.) * I have a bad habit of dreaming that he finds large amounts of money slowly but surely. He always checks his pockets when he wakes up. Sadly, they're always empty. ** With this sad economy, that may turn out to be a recurring dream for a lot of tropers.... ** Same with I, but it's lego pieces in the boxes. He doesn't bother checking, but damn they are good pieces. *** I even dreamed of being in a toy store with around twenty sets I hope to exist with incredible realistic and detailed boxart. I should really get a life...

** I was going on a trip once but had just lost his headphones. He dreamt that he had left them in his trouser pockets. The dream even looked like it was my subconcious telling him where they where - It was carefully pointed out etc etc. In the morning he jumped up, opened his suitcase, pulled out all the neatly folded clothing into a pile and found that the pockets where empty. He then had to repack what had taken an hour in ten minutes before breakfast. * @/{{Brontozaurus}} has recurring dreams of acquiring something he really wants, only to wake up and realize that it was AllJustADream. He's even realised this in the middle of a dream. * I have many, many levitating dreams. Each has the realization 'Man, this time it is for real and all those other times were just a dream'. Never is the realization that maybe this time it is a dream as well. Also are the dreams where I find good books and try to buy them then awaken... * I never seems to realize that six months have passed with no memory of the time until he has been awake for at least ten minutes. * @/{{JET73L}} has had times where he wakes up, and it's the previous morning. At least a couple of times, a week and a half was lost after waking up.The odd thing is, occasionally, unlikely things happen after waking that had already happened in the dream. For the Played For Drama version of the trope, he's occasionally been sick after realizing people he knew, even loved in dreams were now as good as dead and could only be brought back if my (highly disagreeable) subconscious allowed it. * I have seen turtles talk, the sun colliding with the moon, aliens eating her dogs, and her best friends stabbing each other to death all in the same dream. * I occasionally have dreams where she's a fictional character. As often as not, [[GenderBender one of the opposite gender.]] You think it's bad looking for money you get in your dreams, or boxes with snakes in them... try a moment of panic where you're frantically wondering why you feel like you're [[GagPenis missing something...]] Sweet mother of Freud. * [[MrImagination I have had many vivid dreams since childhood.]] He can still remember one dream when he was 6. He dreamt that after sucking his thumb, he ''bit'' it in half and then multiple strands of live hairs came out. Inverted in another, where he dreamt he used the toilet... and in fact [[ObviousTrap pissed in his bed.]] His most fondest dream however, was one he had during the summer of 2008. He dreamt he was an unwilling civilian in the middle of the war who was mistaken to be a soldier. [[HeroicFantasy Fireballs and modern weapons]] littered the place, and he could feel every bit of the action. Getting to the point, I got shot by a sniper rifle in the chest, felt the pain, and woke up in the dream. Then he woke up in real life. And could feel the pain in the chest for half an hour later. *** Please tell me [[IShouldWriteABookAboutThis you made a novel out of the last one...]] ** I remembers a similar experience she had within the past few months. She can't remember what exactly happened in the dream up until a certain point, where she finds herself in a local mall parking lot

at night, and this guy (apparently a nemesis of hers, or something) comes out from behind a car and shoots her in the shoulder. While the dream continued for a while longer (where she goes into some semiconscious state and it feels like she's been shot in the chest instead), she woke up to the same feeling and it still comes back when she thinks about it. ** Mine friend once told her that she doesn't have dreams, only nightmares, and once she had a nightmare that her inner self was strangling her. She woke up to find she was actually strangling herself in her sleep and she had a massive ring of bruises. * This troper finished his first playthough of ''Condemned: Criminal Origins'' right after the mall chapter. He later had a nightmare that he only remembers as flashes of those mannequins from the chapter, accompanied by plenty of [[ScareChord screeching on string instruments]]. He maintains a fear of mannequins to this day. * I actually frequently subverts this trope. Sometimes, what she dreams about will happen, word for word, the very next day. In one dream she was taking notes in art class from a transparency. The next morning, she was taking those exact same notes. And the transparency was copied ''that day''. ** Am I your OppositeSexClone or something? ** No [[Tropers/ZenoTheGreat I]] am *** This lurker came here after finding nothing relevant under either Dreaming of Things to Come or Dreaming the Truth. It seems we are not the only ones with such creepy experiences. (But mine have never come true less than a week later. Sometimes years. Which is scary, since I have had one nightmare so bad I cannot speak of it further.) * Similiar situation from above here. Our class planned a boring and stupid trip. It was two weeks long and I got in the same room as several retards from my class. I planned on playing sick, that I wouldn´t have to come with them, but some random dream I had sowed me a nice scene where we all hang out. The trip went as I originally thought and the dreamed scene took place but only lasted for a few minutes. It was like the Jarheads trailer with grenades and explosions turning out to be fireworks. Stupid self tricked me. * @/{{NightmareBear}} sometimes has multiple dreams about worlds in some of her dreams. Some of these are totally awesome (such as when she dreams about hanging out in a secret base with every single one of her invented characters and saving the world multiple times, as well as [[{{Squee}} being invited to a teaparty with the Forsaken, as well as some Trollocs and Myrddraals from the Wheel of Time series]], and she's always extremely disappointed when she wakes up to find that it was AllJustADream). [[{{NightmareFuel}} Many of them are not.]] One example is when she had a dream that she was being forced to play a hellish, creepily designed game with [[{{NintendoHard}} terrible controls]] and [[{{TheComputerIsACheatingBastard}} enemies that come back to life within 20 seconds of their gruesome deaths.]] The catch? Every time she died in the gam