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sunny all day,even weak
when i arrived my baby first time avoided me and hide om the back of the old woman.soon we reunited.for i spent 2 hour in the cafe near his mother's home to try blog backup soft,its already 11 am.so we soon went outside to receive his mother.the door of the school locked so we wandered outside.we later visited the grocer near the school where i bought my baby a little bag of fried needle and let him eat.when he refused to eat i went to the south garden grocer,intending to buy him a bag of rice biscuit which he liked last time.but the grocer didn't at service.we returned and found the door of the school open now so we entered.my baby disliked to sit on my neck so i shifted him into arms and found the towel wetted by his mouthwater and freezed and let his cheek redden.i felt very sorry.so i hastened to enter the classroom building when we met some colleagues of his mother.one of them even offer my baby a boiled pachyrhizus,but my baby ate less.after lunch his mother let me restore her notebook os for the antivirus soft rising,a domestic product their school bought,didn't clean her os but let it slower.my baby refused to sleep even his mother milked him and tried to let him sleep.after his mother left,he soon slept in my arms and i laid him on bed after he slept sound.but the old woman now got up and went to the corridor to sort cabbage and woke my baby up.he again slept after i held him in arms and i toddled with him in arms for quite some time.later i laid him down to bed and stayed aside the bed doubting what i need do in internet cafe.my baby soon woke up and we played some time on bed.i kissed him a lot.then i held him stride in the waiting room and sang a lot.just when we reached his mother's school's classroom building we saw his mother.i ate dinner there. its a nice day with my baby.i proud of my baby and i love him more than i love myself.i worship him as i worship god,as i worship my grand father.he is the brightest star in my sky. bye.i love u.kiss u with shrinked universe of my love. dogs block my email to post to my blogger. Posted by benzrad at 7:13 PM 0 comments Links to this post
sunny all day,even weak
when i arrived my baby first time avoided me and hide om the back of the old woman.soon we reunited.for i spent 2 hour in the cafe near his mother's home to try blog backup soft,its already 11 am.so we soon went outside to receive his mother.the door of the school locked so we wandered outside.we later visited the grocer near the school where i bought my baby a little bag of fried needle and let him eat.when he refused to eat i went to the south garden grocer,intending to buy him a bag of rice biscuit which he liked last time.but the grocer didn't at service.we returned and found the door of the school open now so we entered.my baby disliked to sit on my neck so i shifted him into arms and found the towel wetted by his mouthwater and freezed and let his
cheek redden.i felt very sorry.so i hastened to enter the classroom building when we met some colleagues of his mother.one of them even offer my baby a boiled pachyrhizus,but my baby ate less.after lunch his mother let me restore her notebook os for the antivirus soft rising,a domestic product their school bought,didn't clean her os but let it slower.my baby refused to sleep even his mother milked him and tried to let him sleep.after his mother left,he soon slept in my arms and i laid him on bed after he slept sound.but the old woman now got up and went to the corridor to sort cabbage and woke my baby up.he again slept after i held him in arms and i toddled with him in arms for quite some time.later i laid him down to bed and stayed aside the bed doubting what i need do in internet cafe.my baby soon woke up and we played some time on bed.i kissed him a lot.then i held him stride in the waiting room and sang a lot.just when we reached his mother's school's classroom building we saw his mother.i ate dinner there. its a nice day with my baby.i proud of my baby and i love him more than i love myself.i worship him as i worship god,as i worship my grand father.he is the brightest star in my sky. bye.i love u.kiss u with shrinked universe of my love. dogs now captured my email to my blogger.they block my email to benzillar.blogspot.com. Posted by benzrad at 7:11 PM 0 comments Links to this post
sunny all day,even weak
when i arrived my baby first time avoided me and hide om the back of the old woman.soon we reunited.for i spent 2 hour in the cafe near his mother's home to try blog backup soft,its already 11 am.so we soon went outside to receive his mother.the door of the school locked so we wandered outside.we later visited the grocer near the school where i bought my baby a little bag of fried needle and let him eat.when he refused to eat i went to the south garden grocer,intending to buy him a bag of rice biscuit which he liked last time.but the grocer didn't at service.we returned and found the door of the school open now so we entered.my baby disliked to sit on my neck so i shifted him into arms and found the towel wetted by his mouthwater and freezed and let his cheek redden.i felt very sorry.so i hastened to enter the classroom building when we met some colleagues of his mother.one of them even offer my baby a boiled pachyrhizus,but my baby ate less.after lunch his mother let me restore her notebook os for the antivirus soft rising,a domestic product their school bought,didn't clean her os but let it slower.my baby refused to sleep even his mother milked him and tried to let him sleep.after his mother left,he soon slept in my arms and i laid him on bed after he slept sound.but the old woman now got up and went to the corridor to sort cabbage and woke my baby up.he again slept after i held him in arms and i toddled with him in arms for quite some time.later i laid him down to bed and stayed aside the bed doubting what i need do in internet cafe.my baby soon woke up and we played some time on bed.i kissed him a lot.then i held him stride in the waiting room and sang a lot.just when we reached his mother's school's classroom building we saw his mother.i ate dinner there. its a nice day with my baby.i proud of my baby and i love him more
than i love myself.i worship him as i worship god,as i worship my grand father.he is the brightest star in my sky. bye.i love u.kiss u with shrinked universe of my love. Posted by benzrad at 6:50 PM 0 comments Links to this post
i got up at 8:23 am.last night i dreamed of chenlong(become dragon),the hongkang kongfu actor,whose son named fangzuming,interviewed with our a semester including 4 or 5 children including a white girl and teached by show his acting in movies.then i got up to urine,its about 6 am and i met a man just leaving the lavatory and enter his room near the washing room and a man washing in the washing room.after returned to bed,i dreamed of chenqian(journey ahead),the once emcee of cctv's program 'zhengdazongyi' and actor,steered a boat in a lake to fight japanese enemy,liking a common scene in the PRC's movie.i don't know if he is acting or in real in the dream.after all i felt glad to be blessed to dream. last night i was heavily hacked and i don't know what a threat challenges my posting here.so i decided to use one of my google group,benzyrnill, to post against unauthorized modifications. it seems a fine day.i know a link to our neighbor,japan.after all love is immortality. bye.i love u.kiss u.only love can save our marriage.no matter how we r bond with family history, god let us love.that leads peace and harmony. btw,in post of 'unclear morning' posted on nov. 8 ,'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the simplicity of the universe.' should be 'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the singularity of the universe.'.i mean the singularity of universe as described by the famous physical scientist Stephen Hawking. Posted by benzrad at 9:57 AM 0 comments Links to this post Labels: diary, heart
i got up at 8:23 am.last night i dreamed of chenlong(become dragon),the hongkang kongfu actor,whose son named fangzuming,interviewed with our a semester including 4 or 5 children including a white girl and teached by show his acting in movies.then i got up to urine,its about 6 am and i met a man just leaving the lavatory and enter his room near the washing room and a man washing in the washing room.after returned to bed,i dreamed of chenqian(journey ahead),the once emcee of cctv's program 'zhengdazongyi' and actor,steered a boat in a lake to fight japanese enemy,liking a common scene in the PRC's movie.i don't know if he is acting or in real in the dream.after all i felt glad to be blessed to dream. last night i was heavily hacked and i don't know what a threat challenges my posting here.so i decided to use one of my google
group,benzyrnill, to post against unauthorized modifications. it seems a fine day.i know a link to our neighbor,japan.after all love is immortality. bye.i love u.kiss u.only love can save our marriage.no matter how we r bond with family history, god let us love.that leads peace and harmony. btw,in post of 'unclear morning' posted on nov. 8 ,'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the simplicity of the universe.' should be 'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the singularity of the universe.'.i mean the singularity of universe as described by the famous physical scientist Stephen Hawking. dogs block my email to blog to benzillar.blogspot.com.they block my email. Posted by benzrad at 9:56 AM 0 comments Links to this post
i got up at 8:23 am.last night i dreamed of chenlong(become dragon),the hongkang kongfu actor,whose son named fangzuming,interviewed with our a semester including 4 or 5 children including a white girl and teached by show his acting in movies.then i got up to urine,its about 6 am and i met a man just leaving the lavatory and enter his room near the washing room and a man washing in the washing room.after returned to bed,i dreamed of chenqian(journey ahead),the once emcee of cctv's program 'zhengdazongyi' and actor,steered a boat in a lake to fight japanese enemy,liking a common scene in the PRC's movie.i don't know if he is acting or in real in the dream.after all i felt glad to be blessed to dream. last night i was heavily hacked and i don't know what a threat challenges my posting here.so i decided to use one of my google group,benzyrnill, to post against unauthorized modifications. it seems a fine day.i know a link to our neighbor,japan.after all love is immortality. bye.i love u.kiss u.only love can save our marriage.no matter how we r bond with family history, god let us love.that leads peace and harmony. btw,in post of 'unclear morning' posted on nov. 8 ,'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the simplicity of the universe.' should be 'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the singularity of the universe.'.i mean the singularity of universe as described by the famous physical scientist Stephen Hawking. -还我河山 你在清贫中呆得太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨中低低沉吼 Posted by benzrad at 9:55 AM 0 comments
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i got up at 8:23 am.last night i dreamed of chenlong(become dragon),the hongkang kongfu actor,whose son named fangzuming,interviewed with our a semester including 4 or 5 children including a white girl and teached by show his acting in movies.then i got up to urine,its about 6 am and i met a man just leaving the lavatory and enter his room near the washing room and a man washing in the washing room.after returned to bed,i dreamed of chenqian(journey ahead),the once emcee of cctv's program 'zhengdazongyi' and actor,steered a boat in a lake to fight japanese enemy,liking a common scene in the PRC's movie.i don't know if he is acting or in real in the dream.after all i felt glad to be blessed to dream. last night i was heavily hacked and i don't know what a threat challenges my posting here.so i decided to use one of my google group,benzyrnill, to post against unauthorized modifications. it seems a fine day.i know a link to our neighbor,japan.after all love is immortality. bye.i love u.kiss u.only love can save our marriage.no matter how we r bond with family history, god let us love.that leads peace and harmony. btw,in post of 'unclear morning' posted on nov. 8 ,'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the simplicity of the universe.' should be 'what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the singularity of the universe.'.i mean the singularity of universe as described by the famous physical scientist Stephen Hawking. Posted by benzrad at 9:36 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
snowing most time of the afternoon
just when i left the cafe the snow flowing all over the street.however its not so heavily and in later afternoon it stopped.left the road whiter and sanitier.i roamed in the room most of the afternoon,wondering.two neighbor rooms both unlocked when i went to lavatory for some times.dogs,including the head dog in ur family name,appeared in my mind to show its fear to let me see his endeavor.now in the cafe when i tried to backup my blog with softs,it block my blog at myspace.com and blogger.com as usual,but he also let the browser ie windows illworking.i had to reset to escape its evils.some proxies several days ago workable turned invalid now.i know some guy in ur family name quite evil,like the head dog,like the 3721's former ceo.all shits.i know u sometimes illwilled but that's not the part i want to see and accept.i know u r mine,and u r kindhearted.the circle of chinese yinyang consisted of 2 parts,and u r the white part.i know ur family is dominant but u and ur parents innocent.that's what i known and i insisted as the condition with which i can accept u.ur father is a stateman, not a dog.a dog of ur family name chasing me,and felt assured, but he just a slave,a negro,a
jackal.he doomed to ruin himself and the shabby leaf boat he and his host stood.that's the whole story of the man,the name doomed to be forgot. bye.i love u.kiss u with pour white. dogs hacked heavily and i had to reset two times to post. -还我河山 你在清贫中呆得太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨中低低沉吼 Posted by benzrad at 7:25 PM 0 comments Links to this post
snowing most time of the afternoon
just when i left the cafe the snow flowing all over the street.however its not so heavily and in later afternoon it stopped.left the road whiter and sanitier.i roamed in the room most of the afternoon,wondering.two neighbor rooms both unlocked when i went to lavatory for some times.dogs,including the head dog in ur family name,appeared in my mind to show its fear to let me see his endeavor.now in the cafe when i tried to backup my blog with softs,it block my blog at myspace.com and blogger.com as usual,but he also let the browser ie windows illworking.i had to reset to escape its evils.some proxies several days ago workable turned invalid now.i know some guy in ur family name quite evil,like the head dog,like the 3721's former ceo.all shits.i know u sometimes illwilled but that's not the part i want to see and accept.i know u r mine,and u r kindhearted.the circle of chinese yinyang consisted of 2 parts,and u r the white part.i know ur family is dominant but u and ur parents innocent.that's what i known and i insisted as the condition with which i can accept u.ur father is a stateman, not a dog.a dog of ur family name chasing me,and felt assured, but he just a slave,a negro,a jackal.he doomed to ruin himself and the shabby leaf boat he and his host stood.that's the whole story of the man,the name doomed to be forgot. bye.i love u.kiss u with pour white. -还我河山 你在清贫中呆得太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨中低低沉吼 Posted by benzrad at 7:00 PM 0 comments
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snowing most time of the afternoon
just when i left the cafe the snow flowing all over the street.however its not so heavily and in later afternoon it stopped.left the road
whiter and sanitier.i roamed in the room most of the afternoon,wondering.two neighbor rooms both unlocked when i went to lavatory for some times.dogs,including the head dog in ur family name,appeared in my mind to show its fear to let me see his endeavor.now in the cafe when i tried to backup my blog with softs,it block my blog at myspace.com and blogger.com as usual,but he also let the browser ie windows illworking.i had to reset to escape its evils.some proxies several days ago workable turned invalid now.i know some guy in ur family name quite evil,like the head dog,like the 3721's former ceo.all shits.i know u sometimes illwilled but that's not the part i want to see and accept.i know u r mine,and u r kindhearted.the circle of chinese yinyang consisted of 2 parts,and u r the white part.i know ur family is dominant but u and ur parents innocent.that's what i known and i insisted as the condition with which i can accept u.ur father is a stateman, not a dog.a dog of ur family name chasing me,and felt assured, but he just a slave,a negro,a jackal.he doomed to ruin himself and the shabby leaf boat he and his host stood.that's the whole story of the man,the name doomed to be forgot. bye.i love u.kiss u with pour white. Posted by benzrad at 6:44 PM 0 comments Links to this post
sunny in the early morning,then turns gloomy
i got up at 9:19 am.last night i reviewed a lot and my way and my responsibilty.when i woke up the sunshine tinted my curtain.i didn't attend the working place i once worked,a kindergarten and a minigarden apart from the dorm zone.after getting up i listened the radio but later some radio channels missing,only left 2 or 3 available in FM wave band area.the 'voice of china' missing and the memory function also illworked and can't memory even i pust it to memorize.i checked my pda for sometimes and then missing in wondering.the weather turned cloudy and the sky was dark.after lunch i arrived here but had to wait for some time for a available pc in the cafe.most of the customers r little students and older boyes playing games.i felt games should be thanked for offering so many entertains to young persons. dogs biting now. last night i check my blogs downloaded to my pda and found many unauthorized modifications to my original posts.dogs union felt they can manipulate anything in guise.i first felt surer on myspace but now i found my blog on it also modified to distort my word and message.they never block myspace.com but blocked blogger.com and blogspot.com.they traced all my account activity and broke any time to modify to obscure my message.they r the biggest thief and the most disgusting shadow gay. bye.i love u.kiss u with limpidity. Posted by benzrad at 12:57 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
first snow finally dripped,even last no long
when i left the cafe in the morning the snow waving on the street.its so prosperous.when i arrived my baby just woke up by my unlocking door and he immediately asked for my caress.in the morning i so far felt so solitude and my baby warmed and relieved me with his kindness and understanding.soon his mother arrived and we had lunch at once.his mother shown especial caring for him and again left me in relief.my baby also especially cute and cordial.he entertained us both with his eating and shitting.after lunch we prepared to shot pictures outside and i suggested in the ground garden just below the building her home located.its plain but the shrub and bushes prosperous.we met some familiars of his mother and his mother urged us to return soon.so we returned.then i busy with sorting the pictures and movies while his mother milked him and let him slept.later the department director of my once working place buzzed in and asked for talk with an offer of some gift money for journalist day tomorrow at same time.i kissed my baby in dream and left.in the office the dep. director inquired about my situation and asked for me to take part in working time.i admitted it and returned to the dorm.then i sensed my love and forgive for some girls in my life,including fang(square),lu and u,zhou.the qrrser planting cypresses in the garden where they laid down large trees.some worker stayed in front of my window and dirty willed,so i went to dinner.i felt something interacted with me and puting me into a new setting.bye.i love u.kiss u with white of snow.
From the Son in th...
Posted by benzrad at 6:22 PM 0 comments Labels: diary, heart
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first snow finally dripped,even last no long
when i left the cafe in the morning the snow waving on the street.its so prosperous.when i arrived my baby just woke up by my unlocking door and he immediately asked for my caress.in the morning i so far felt so solitude and my baby warmed and relieved me with his kindness and understanding.soon his mother arrived and we had lunch at once.his mother shown especial caring for him and again left me in relief.my baby also especially cute and cordial.he entertained us both with his eating and shitting.after lunch we prepared to shot pictures outside and i suggested in the ground garden just below the building her home located.its plain but the shrub and bushes prosperous.we met some familiars of his mother and his mother urged us to return soon.so we returned.then i busy with sorting the pictures and movies while his mother milked him and let him slept.later the department director of my once working place buzzed in and asked for talk with an offer of some gift money for journalist day tomorrow at same time.i kissed my baby in dream and left.in the office the dep. director inquired about my situation and asked for me to take part in working time.i admitted it and returned to the dorm.then i sensed my love and forgive for some girls in my
life,including fang(square),lu and u,zhou.the qrrser planting cypresses in the garden where they laid down large trees.some worker stayed in front of my window and dirty willed,so i went to dinner.i felt something interacted with me and puting me into a new setting.bye.i love u.kiss u with white of snow.<table style="width: auto;"><tbody><tr><td><a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/dabbog/ TheSonInTheFirstSnowOfHisSecondWinterOnEarth/photo#4994573424853254162 "><img src="http://lh6.google.com/dabbog/RVBKEUj8ABI/AAAAAAAAAUI/_A_TcOyMiNk/s288/ 20061170003.JPG"></a></td></tr><tr><td style="font-family: arial,sans-serif; fontsize: 66%; text-align: right;">From <a href="http://picasaweb.google.com/dabbog/ TheSonInTheFirstSnowOfHisSecondWinterOnEarth">the Son in th...</a></td></tr></tbody></table> Posted by benzrad at 5:47 PM 0 comments Links to this post
the Son in the first snow of his second winter on earth
its first snow in the extroardinary warm winter in qiqihar,northeast of china. Posted by benzrad at 5:19 PM 0 comments Links to this post
i got up at 9:08 am.last night dogs' biting strangely lost its most power and left weak part on my body indifferet any direction.i stayed awake lately,and review my breaking-heart love with the girl likely in family name of fang(square) when she was a sophermore in nankai unv. and when i prepared my master degree entrance exam there.i never regret for my deep love to her but in the dawn today i felt its her fault and weak not to offer her trust and responsiblity to our flashing love.and i blame all girls passed by me just left me a clue of their fondness and emptiness and single so far. for them don't love indeed.they love cozy life to avoid facing loneliness and cold dark in human life and human knowledge in universe.i felt i thought with my own truth i encountered in quite some harsh moments including my broke down in nankai unv.. love is the most cherished gift of god, but loneliness was the truth of routine life.i felt only i can live with loneliness will i live with my pride and glory of my own.i needn't god's attending, god's know my suffering in the end.he or she also endures loneliness.what can soothe thirst for fresh flesh of girl,what can cure the simplicity of the universe.i also got a glimpse to all my baby's mother's attitude to me and my possible attitude to the world,near and far,a change to attest myself.i want to change in a pulse but i calmed to obey the silence and null rule.in doubt i heading to my baby's mother's home and i decked a internet cafe here half way to enjoy my interest group here.if i afford,i can live in indifferece.if i ever love, i bleed to laugh.gaps may there, i don't know if i will take a new stance. bye.i love u.kiss u with sight.
-还我河山 你在清贫中呆得太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨中低低沉吼 Posted by benzrad at 10:48 AM 0 comments
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Monday, November 06, 2006
sunny day mostly.
i laid myself on bed listening music radio all the afternoon.dogs biting from all directions,forcing me to change my poise frequently.last night they let me restless through this way and force me to defense.later i got up to urine and when i returned i heard some beautiful music consoled me for my anxious on ur company with me.after dinner i arrived here the cafe farer from the dorm zone and again being bited heavily.but that forced me to concentrate on reading a google group entitled 'mind's eye' which very informative.i got a glimpse to the smart people of human and enchanted by the dilemma of intelligence.i known by instinct its a good forum but till today i started to read it. bye,i fighted to curb my expenditure on the web.i budget to spend 2 yuan a day on internet. i love u.kiss u.hope u a nice day. Posted by benzrad at 5:57 PM 0 comments Links to this post
almost cloudy except sometimes faint sunshine
i got up at 8:54 am.last night i went to bed after 10:30 pm but the neighbor hooligan kept crowing and spying and biting lately.at first i just let it go for convinient but later i settled to defense myself.nothing special when i fell into sleep. now the sunshine outside of the door is brighter.i just busy with downloading some stuff for my pda.last night my account in myspace.com was err-prone and can open.but now its open.i really felt much obliged for myspace crew,for they r so promptly to recover my home there every time.i m surer my account being hacked for times.its also my first blog outside of china.even i can't find time to browse for friends there but i did find my beloved there,jamie even she refused to let me love here.this morning and last night she appeared in my mind eyes for some time.i hope still she can offer me a chance to know her. bye.i love u.kiss u. -还我河山 你在清贫中呆得太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星
眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨中低低沉吼 Posted by benzrad at 9:58 AM 0 comments
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Sunday, November 05, 2006
almost full sunny day.
after posted in yiyou(righteous friend,but it left me quite poor impression when last time all front seats occupied and i haunted inner seat but traced by a man liked a bodyguard when i glimpsed into a room when there majiang players likely gambling),i decided to see my baby son for the sunshine so loveable.when i arrived my baby was in sleep and so was the old woman.the sound i unlocked the door woke my baby up and i holding him to play then.soon the son of his mother's aunt arrived and my baby played him own.so i started to sort my sd card of my pda.l finished it after 3 am,spending 2 more hours,and i held my baby out to receive his mother.the sunshine turned weak.we entered the school now that the side door was open.my baby stepped on heaps of yellow leaves and smiled.later i held him to south garden to buy a bag of rice biscuit as he shown interest on the ditched bag of food among the leaves.we almost spent an hour in the winds and really felt the power of winter chill.when we again approached the teaching building of the school his mother catched us up from our back.she had returned to home.she complained i let my baby's ears reddened for chill.she started to tutor a girl student and the son of her aunt.i continued restoration of her notebook till the old woman held my baby approached me again.then i shut down the pc and played with my baby.the atmosphere was dirty and i had to turn on tv to watch woman volleyball but my baby soon turned off the tv.the girl student soon left but the son of the aunt kept asking question to my baby's mother and i had to break in to have dinner.the son of the aunt had dinner there but i found the rice ran short.i felt the dirty atmosphere was from the son,whose name including peng in chinese consisted of two moons and when i recognized it he finished his dinner and left.i played with my baby with his mother awhile then i left and docked here to write to u. its not so bad a day after all.i felt now i m surer that i can cope the dirty wills from the surrounding and even surer god's will to let me through after all these projecting from the common persons in the common society setting. bye.i love u.like sands on beach,tiny while mounted to mountain number.kiss u with brightness. Posted by benzrad at 6:53 PM 0 comments Links to this post
brightest morning in early winter.
so god didn't offer me a snow in my anticipation but a bright morning instead.i got of at 8:45 am and waited awhile for my pda charging.then i went to to sort my pda to avoid spying eye around in the dorm and even so it was hanged for 2 times and flash card wrecked a time.i
walked in the sunshine in the treeyard in the dorm zone awhile till lunch time.my radio newly found beijing's radio titled 'voice of china' which now live talk about Mout.huang of anhui prov.,eastcentual china.the authority desperately to broadcast its crying for attention to save his problem.it also broadcast 'voice of huaxia' and another 'voice' of somewhat.yesterday they gathered heads of africa to leak its troubled water. last night i dreamed accompanied with a middle aged man,an enterprineur likely againing his first basin of gold from his being secretary of china youth league when in college.he made a product conbining cell phone,tv and some gadget now evades me,imported idea from foreign western world.he boast his human resource expertise to handle 2 of his staff,all from their graduate to be skilled.when he picked me to return to home, we saw two moons in the sky and i left his car and watched the 2 moons on the ground while he left. last night dogs bited me lately.the islamic africa part gathering in beijing these day also pested me.however,i felt into sleep and sound till morning.i felt assured about my soundness when i saw the sunshine. i have it.god and my kindom.i love u.kiss u with sunshine.bye.dogs biting in the cafe. Posted by benzrad at 12:50 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Saturday, November 04, 2006
i got up at 8:11am.last night dogs bited lately and let me had to went to lavatory room to shit after 3 or 4 am.when i went there i met a girl leaving in the corridor.i had the full day indoor with my baby except a break for showering in common bathroom where i was alone in the room to shower.in the morning the ground was somewhat wet,indicating last night was dirty around me and i was cleaned by the frizzle.my baby's mother allowed to leave home after 9 am so we gathered awhile.i cared my baby playing until he slept on my shoulders near 11 am.when i felt can't bear i shifted to hug him to let him sleep.he woke up near 11:30 am and peacefully sat on my laptop to watch tv.its rare for him for he always likes to play around.at lunch he ate less and played around the table for some time.his grandmom also there.after lunch i shown his mother i works on settling her accounts on youtube and played alone on the web after she left and slept.i soon fed up with slow speed of surf experience and found my baby peacefully in his grandmom's arms to play.so i left to shower.when i returned i met his mother leaving for shower.i held my baby playing in the rest of afternoon.when his mother returned we played with him together and let him laugh a lot.i left till i felt gloomy on my odyssey for my second marriage. the starsea cafe locked my pc just after some minutes after i login to my google and i burst to the short girl who always troubled my usage of pc here. bye. days and nights i fighted for u,i don't know what a course i m in
but i forever stay. i love u.kiss u. tonight likely to snow as i gladly predicated several days ago.its would be uncomparable blessing. Posted by benzrad at 6:04 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Friday, November 03, 2006
last night i spent almost 4 or 5 hours in a internet cafe to customize my youtube account.in the dawn i returned to the dorm after machine dogs heavily hacked the net and let all proxy i can find blocked.i can access my blogger account.i tried several pc and likely all pcs within the cafe under the monitor of machine dogs.a more wider possiblity is that all chinese internet cafe under cops' spy.china no doubt a socity under tightened surveillance of the dictator,but i didn't know its scope and depth. i got up after 12 am.and laid on bed till 4 pm.then i went to starsea cafe again to finished my work rest.the blogger still can't be accessed.i had to wait. i more and more enjoy the cyber life,living history based on the warehouse of the .com service.but the chinese dog just lagged behind. bye.i love u.kiss u with dusts. Posted by benzrad at 6:46 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Thursday, November 02, 2006
faint sunshine in the morning,paled out in the afternoon.
last night i worked lately to 9:40 pm.i even attempted to continue my work after i exchanged daily bless with my son and his mother.but i held back myself for i want to share free time with my baby and his mother next morning.his mother said she would be free this morning,and last morning she held my baby to eat out kentuky fried chicken.i more or less enjoy publicity with my son.so i regret didn't go over yesterday. this morning i woke up at 8:01 am and got up at once.last night the boss of the starsea cafe haunted in my mind for quite some time.when i left he upstairs to meet me and i know he monitored me for a long time.they belongs to dogs union. my baby received me near the door.soon his mother suggested to haunt outside and we went to south garden and we started to shot our baby.some old parents holding their grandsons there showing their admires to us and my son's mother shared my baby's biscuits with them but i didn't.for i promised my baby not to disperse his food with anyone. in the afternoon the railway telcom arrived 2 staff, a man and a woman last time visited us to handle our adsl installation,upon our
complains for the too low speed of adsl.they just shown me the adsl modem's interface to show its downward speed is 2m,but didn't resolve our problem of slow surfing.i later doubting the woman staff a intelligence worker of the state security bureau.the man blamed my firewall and even suggest me surfing without firewall.after them left,i spent 2 more hours to upload a 200KB video files to youtube.com but failed thousand times.my baby slept on my shoulder in advanced and later let the old woman shifted to bed.i held my baby to receive his mother after 6:30 pm and had a nice time in the entrance of the classroom building of the school. i spent 2 hours here to register my family members youtube accounts and let them working. bye.i love u with bareness.kiss u with drips of winter leaves.
From warren with h...
Posted by benzrad at 9:40 PM 0 comments
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Wednesday, November 01, 2006
indoor modifying my googlepages all afternoon.
i spent all afternoon in the starcafe to modify my googlepage at http://benzillar.googlepages.com .dog's blocking some resource quite irrigating but i finsihed it.at noon i felt quite unease about my spending last night(in the middle the pc hacked and reboot and lost all my works after half and an hour,so i spent another hour to suppliment it) and today exceed my budget. but i admitted its my need and god sees my effort to discipline.i will stayed in the dorm all the evening,not spending a coin here.i like google,if i can do something to satisfy myself i would do it with google. bye.i love u.kiss u with teeth and tease. Posted by benzrad at 4:50 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
bright warm sunny day
my baby received me near the door when i arrived there about 10:00am.i held him playing for half an hour then went out to receive his mother.we picked the way to sportsyard and he asked for walking on the newly heaped earth on the path around the yard on feet.there r 3 or 4 children with their parents there.my baby picked a ditched sore milk cup so i suggested buying one.then we went to tongxin supermarket where we bought a cup of sore milk,a bag of fried fish wings and little bag of sausage.we ate immediately outside of the market.then we entered the south garden where swarmed with aged people.we had a good time in the sunshine.when i caught sight of some teachers leaving through the door of his mother's school i hastened there but still his mother had to turned back from home to fetch us.after lunch i played awhile his mother's notebook then we triple went outside.we accompanied his mother to her school and we went to south garden.i started to shot my baby.he played on the leaves on ground concentrately but later insisted to hang the camera and bumped a lot on the paveway,let me very anxious.he asked for some snack from the grocer in the garden.when we shifted to sports yard after eating a ice stick he slept on my shoulder.the old woman laid him on bed and i started to play with the notebook and the web.the dogs again hacked the notebook and the antivirus and antispyware and firewall again broken by the dog,who mostly likely manipulated the telcom to hack our byte flow,but also possible my os let them faults to break in.its just too fast.they r more and more desperate to brag their weapons and brutality.they r losing,just like their doomed fate. tonight the cafe full of dogs,heavily biting.last night dog among them let the pc err prone and hanged and reboot itself.dogs union really losing.they just can't keep their fake peace.fake pretense.god let me see the breaking light near the end of the tunnel. bye.i love u.kiss u with pure white of the coming first snow of the killing winter.
my baby son in the extraordinary warm winter day
Posted by benzrad at 8:13 PM 0 comments Labels: diary, heart
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milky warm morning sunshine
i woke up at 7:35 am and got up at 8:33.last night i was bited and had to cop with them awhile and felt pity for myself for god let me experience this shit.i know all this kind of experience just to let me be more steadily unbendablely demand a fundamental change to china,to the shit arrogant persons now.i like my own play,like my baby always seeking playing with stuff around him,but we r constantly interrupted by dogs,for they can't support themselves peacefully,they need a beat to know themselves,to boost their performance. days and nights let us speechless.silent u let me load too much burdon,i need ur encouragement,i need ur tender.but u kept clueless.maybe dogs hinder u,maybe my linger in my existence hinder u,but i want u know my heart always open for u.my life seemed peaceful,but i yell for a refreshment.i stare at the sky,i search the sea of web,i need u bring me another chance. bye.i love u.kiss u with flavor. Posted by benzrad at 9:25 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Monday, October 30, 2006
extraordinary warm sunny winter day.
i woke up at 7:22 am and got up at 8:00 am.last night dogs let me restless awhile and i sometime can't judge in dream or in reality.i dreamed my elder brother and a country folk broke my house and the latter attempting to steal something.i headed to see my baby at once.my baby received me near the door on foot,likely he usually played alone when at home with the old woman.i held him playing on the balcony but later i was distracted by the wish to settle his mother's notebook.last night i download free firewall and antivirus soft and i just need a try.my baby let me alone for quite some time but sometimes he drag my hand to lead me away from the notebook.i evade him for sometimes.after 10:30 he cried loudly for my cares and i gave up pc and held him outside and he fell into sleep as soon as we downstairs to ground floor.he slept on my shoulders in the south garden and again some people asked us to return home and soon my baby was woke up by illwilled people around and we shifted to his mother's school where we received his mother.at home before lunch my baby laughed a lot with hide-and-see with his mother.but soon after lunch i busy with notebook till 4:30 pm i held him out to receive his mother and he again slept just left his mother's home.he is now growing up and under trainning by god.god let illwilled persons around our home desperate to exert on him.but he forever safe and sound. on the way leaving his mother's home i felt sorry for him.i should caress him more,for i come over rightly to see him.his mother not so interested in my work for her. bye.days and nights let us love blunt.i don't know how far u ahead me.i only know fight myself a safe cave for the unclear ur presence.i only know god's seeing my chores. i love u.kiss u with the purity of the coming first snow.
-还我河山 你在清贫中呆得太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨中低低沉吼 Posted by benzrad at 7:31 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, October 29, 2006
bright sunshine afternoon
i laid myself on bed listening music radio till 4 pm.dogs hunting and let my pda hanged a time.after 4 pm i got up and want to read newspaper but the newspaper room out of service.so i took a tour to the eatern zone of qrrs which underwent large changes under the ambitions of qrrs and the municipal gov. .there r some open space around the qrrs hotel for receiving its foreign and national guests,which covered with grass and a few trees enclosed by fence.nearby middle school had a new teaching building.leaving its old 2 floor building extending some area likely being occupied by management stuff.qrrs even build 3 building of 15 floor or higher but their ground floor mostly locked now,indicating can't be rent for service.the state-owned enterprises owning quite some assets not eager to open to service but hold for a good price.it can be safely said nowaday china's biggest asset was the land of peasants that been deprived from its owner.i also tried to find another internet cafe but in vain.maybe the customer can't afford another,or maybe the cops monopolied to maxize its profits. bye.i want to read my google personal homepage,which was block when i surfed at starsea cafe in the morning.i love u.kiss u with clouds in the pale blue winter sky. Posted by benzrad at 6:14 PM 0 comments Links to this post
warm and bright morning
i got up at 10:09 am.awake on bed i doubting the irriatabel spying and hacking on our family internet accounts from dogs.it likes a long time tiptoe in shits stained ground ,likes a smoke gun aside u without any restrain.dogs here in starsea again block most of my access to some websites.they shits on chinese mainland for so many years that anyone passed here can't avoid to be choked by the foul smells.they r dirty animal.i also doubting who trusted the cafe to ask for a show of id card to use internet,who privileged to ask anyone to show their id card when they at service.is is lawful when we enjoy services like shopping or walking or eating while had to show our id card?its longtime a laughable compare that american have a unique social welfare id card while chinese have a unique national id card for the convinience of cops to trace criminal.they drive any chinese into
criminal with their disgusting dog eyes and licking dirty tougoe. however,the sunshine outside of the window is bright.last night dogs around my room in the dorm heavily biting when i read pc magzines.i have to read bible to clean myself and trench the foxes and wolfes and dogs.they likely desperate or new hungerer or new evil spirit arrived near my room. i slept sound,thx god. bye.i'd better do some reading on web.i love u.kiss u with tearless blue sky. -还我河山 你在清贫中呆得太久了 你分不清月色的石子和清癯的星 眸子的星芒浮于薄霭 厌倦的兽眼阴雨中低低沉吼 Posted by benzrad at 11:00 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Saturday, October 28, 2006
another pale sunshine,cool but bright
i got up at 8:25 am and headed to my baby's mother's home immediately.my baby's mother was said going to have her self-test exam for secondary bachelor majoring chinese literature.my baby received me near the door and refused my attempting to kiss his leg.i held him to let him play what he liked,usually homehold materails or cooking utilities.the old woman had some complains about my baby messing her works.near 11 his mother returned.she want to go to shower for she missed it last week for too busy.but our baby just refused to sleep.so we ate lunch.his mother then went to shower.just when his mother complained my kicking little thing to make cracks to let my baby agile , my baby felt to sleep on my shoulders.so she left and i started to play with her notebook on the internet.the dogs heavily hacked me and i had to suffer a lot of time waiting for the pc and the net to response.later the son of my baby's mother's aunt arrived and i started to gave up net and played with my baby.at 3:00 pm i held him outside to wait his mother return.my baby directed me to enter his mother's school even the door was locked.but 2 cars leaving and let us enter by the way.my baby kicked a lot of dusts on the sport yard and felt happy.soon his mother found us and we left.then i went to bath.after returning i started to fix his mother's heavily infected notebook.i ate dinner there.and now i m here. dog's hamper me to download google free software pack now.in my baby's mother's home they also block my downloading norton av included in the pack.witht the installed part of the pack 160 more infected files found.shits. bye.i need some time to read my google homepage.i love u.kiss u with bright. Posted by benzrad at 7:01 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Friday, October 27, 2006
pale sunshine afternoon
i spent 2 yuan in the morning and doubting not to haunt here in the night.but my pda hinted me that much reading without thinking will loose mind.so i felt a play on the web can be helpful for me.in the afternoon i went to listening beijing opera practise in workers' palace of qrrs.the chinese gong and drum really doming,it reminds me that traditional chinese old parents can be really harmful to their offsprings.in addition in beijing opera man sing in the role of woman also a strange phenomeno in world opera.a man in disgusting manner did that and left some musicians emptied their seats.i also in the idle to want check my pda for the meaning of vain and void.i did it after the man left and a man in high pitch to sing.after a young woman practised i left after 2 musicains left.i went to the libary of qrrs to borrowed 3 copies of pc magzines.then i went to the newspaper room to read 'chankaoxiaoxi'(world reference digest).the woman libarian insisted on standing near me to do her work,she and a man facing me on the other side of the table let me unconfortable.i read magzines in the dorm till dinner time.there r quite some girls including tall girls let me relived.i attempted to buzz my parents in my hometown but they r absent on the other side of the line. bye.i love u.kiss u with dry lavendor.i want to do some reading within my google reader.bye. Posted by benzrad at 6:00 PM 0 comments Links to this post
sunshined as usual.
i got up at 9:25 am.last night i continued to read the works of zhutianwen,a taiwan novelist.her readings to 'A Dream of Red Mansions (hongloumeng) .she is in fact quite farsighted on society of china and the perspective of china. of course, she didn't think she can make a reality on her own. in her early years she was under influence of hulancheng, the scholar worked for wnagjingwei, the coworker of japanese authority once in china deeply. his father in faith to christian. i m glad to see and hear another patriot under my family name. i can surf the internet via a fake name in a farer cafe and let me more or less relief.one of my subscription of google groups discussing china intending adopting real name blog and regard it a backward in web history.i agree with him.china spare no effort to learn after south korea.i don't know much about south koreal but as to real name everywhere its stupid. to cure a unfair society need deeper insight to its structure but not with a expediance.chinese media always boast the inconvinience of new trival social bubbles to urge mindless chinese people (they can't be mindless now that all around them r filtered messages,faked messages) hand in more supervision to the hand of authority,esp, cops. i think its lazy and intended by power interest group.i hated it.democracy demand liberal minds.sound mind must to be independent. bye.i love u.kiss u with my warmth in love with u. Posted by benzrad at 10:54 AM 0 comments Labels: diary, heart Links to this post
Thursday, October 26, 2006
pale sunny day,however its winter now
i got up about 8:47 am.i dreamed of the former german chancellor,Gerhard Schröder ,visited china and i asked him some questionS in english.he crossed the crowd and talked to me his puzzle about the setting on the path likely set by cops.i dreamed i had to tiptoed not to stain my trousers for shits all round the ground.so i knew gays around. my google and blogger almost blocked. i don't know when i can blog freely from now.internet cafes now demand showing ur national id card published by cops, liking probating criminals.hope the dark day been sunshined soon. bye.kiss u.i love u with temders. Posted by benzrad at 5:25 PM 0 comments Labels: diary, heart Links to this post
Wednesday, October 25, 2006
after returned to the dorm i wandered awhile then went to the libary of qrrs to borrow some pc magzines.the libarian limited me 2 copy,one copy less than previous,and i took it for granted now that the dogs biting everywhere.they more and more losing all their power to keep peace within china and losing temper not to bite everywhere,that's reasonable.i read one of the magzine in room till almost dinner time.then i listened to radio to refresh.after dinner i wentt to starsea again and again they demand id card,this time with a man likely its boss asked for id card first.i left without a word.they likely hacked my baby's mother's blog again,for its logo again ill working even i checked it well before i left at noon. nothing special,the long winter awaiting dogs to play around indoor,now that their host can't find anything more meanful.they doomed to focus their poor sights more and more onto pin in dustbin.that's their potential. bye.i love u as usual.like star in the dry winter nights.kiss u with cool. Posted by benzrad at 5:50 PM 0 comments Links to this post
i got up at about 8:48 am.the morning spent on bed listening to music and review the book of 'be friend with god'.i felt there is a god of buddism of female,of vain,and there is a god in bible which demand owning and loyalty. qrrs,my once working place,now laid down 2 large old tree but 4.the cafe of starsea demand a id card to use internet.who can i say about it? now im in another cafe and likely surrounded by dogs(cops).they modified my baby's mother's blog and let its logo missing.i had to spent half an hour to correct it.shits stained china,foul its land and its people's mind. bye.i want to obey 2 yuan a day.kiss u. i love u. Posted by benzrad at 2:09 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Tuesday, October 24, 2006
yesterday i read a lot of 'be friend with god' and found myself missing.in the night i laid it off and doubting its holy message that to be is quicker than to think to be or to do.then i felt the world i encountered before my 3 times falling into asylum sieged me.but i m surer that's my being,my being as Man's Son to survived myself like wild beast,fight for mates with teeth and paws.and the harsh rule to judge myself with the world i took and offer earthly.the situation i viewed for more than one time,and i know its not kidding.i can't live with love for all human,like god in buddism or in the book of 'communication with god',rather,i chose my god as christian,stern and demanding obey.i lived with rule,with oath and base,i only love my being,my own being,my owning and being.i love my family,like love myself,for only by this i know i m son of god.discipline and simple,that's the way i follow my god.i can judge nobody but my fellows,my family member.i love them with my loving method.in the night i restless and even want to go to the asylum and stay there for refuge.fate justfied me merciless and i just felt left so lonely in dark,i brewing for help but i can't ask for.then in a rush i pick the quilt of my baby and headed to my baby's mother's home after 11 pm,i guess.i slept there sound.in the morning my baby cried for my cares woke me up.i cared him playing all the morning till 11 am we went outside to receive his mother.his mother seemingly glad.but at noon after lunch she asked me to stay in the dorm.i admitted.i held my baby outside toddling for about half and an hour then we returned.on the entrance of the building a road cleaner frequently acquainted us sat aside the road and i let him picked some candy i bought for my baby but my baby felt wrongdid onto him and cried in anger.then i promised i wouldn't did it forever. qrrs,my once working place,offered me 200 yuan as holidays' bonus.i suggested my baby's mother leaving me 100 yuan for my expense on internet for my baby likely won't let me use pc there but she prefered to store for needs.i admitted.the project of renovating the tree yard of the dorm zone still underwent and they laid down 2 big and old trees and let me cursed at once in my heart.sure they r beast,or insect,but now that i myself love the living and spirit of beast so i won't comment more.battle field among human and beast and evil and alien not alien in games, i think i can see it in real. bye.i love u.i know u r interacting with me.kiss u with moist. Posted by benzrad at 6:58 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Monday, October 23, 2006
milk morning sunshine
i got up at 8:22 am.last night i dreamed a lot and being probed a lot.penetrating eyes let me open my eyes in dark for sometimes.i dream i with my wife living on the highest floor,our reef, like my old house in my hometown,covered by tile,leaking all over a lot of rain to our house,wet our bed and floor.a team of drain worker repaired in the neighbor house.i let my wife to leave to eat something first.when i attempt to leave,the team enter my house from window.so l wait to let them repair.then my old father appeared in my home.my wife seemed not happy with him.then i played glass ball with some kids of my hometown and won them three 2 times.a young doctor of my hometown named
zhuhongshu(grand technology) chatted with me and let me have some medicine to assist my recovery.my mother also in the dream,but i now forget what she did.most vivid was the rain pouring from the reef to our home,to our bed and floor.my baby seemingly also in the dream weak and let my wife burning and me sorry.when i woke up i felt i had to write it down on my blog.and i m eager to urine. so its a working day.i probablely will go over to see if my baby's mother's adsl working.last night i read awhile 'be friend with god' and really relieved by god's grace and open love.i felt its the process of breaking barrier.i look forward to my living with soul and freedom. bye.i love u.kiss u. Posted by benzrad at 9:10 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Sunday, October 22, 2006
sunny but windy and cold.
i woke up at 7:03 am and got up at 9:03 am.i headed to see my baby at once.my baby was sleeping when i arrived,so i left to register my kid brother's adsl service shift to our phone.yesterday afternoon i was hindered by the demand to hand in a copy of my id card.when i returned,my baby playing in the waiting room.i picked him and laid him on my shoulders and let him played indoor till her mother returned. i lunch,the old woman distracted me sometimes and my baby asked for my accompany with him to see or fetch him something by dragging my hand.his mother also glorified by his charms and glad.i told her i had now 2 blond friends on web,but she didn't comment.after lunch she soon started to receive her pupils at home.i let my baby playing around them.the telcom told me my registery had to wait work day to hand over to workers to handle,so i can't do anything on web.so i left even the sunshine very bright outside of the window.i consoled myself that we have it in our hearts and have not need to bath it every times when it shine our eyes.when i left my baby was breast by his mother and he waved to me to farewell. in the dorm i charged my pda.i laid myself on bed silently.i dozed awhile till felt cold.i rambled mindly in the peering eyes around.lately i listened to the radio.loving songs sometimes touched me and i know our reunite at our will.changing days and nights left me in changing mood,god save my love,save my restless longing for u. bye.kiss u.i love u with torn heart. Posted by benzrad at 6:54 PM 0 comments Labels: diary, heart Links to this post
Saturday, October 21, 2006
a dry day after a wet dream last night.
when i emitted i dreamed a baby or my baby,god blesses him.this the second time when i wet dreamed with him.last time was in the asylum after a nerd man with a damaged hand showing exaggrate friendship to me and soon left the asylum with his relatives which is strange for the asylum usually kept their lamb long enough to let them never want to return,who name is ghost(gui).even last night i read 'be friend with god' in which i was told any unexpected happenings r all ur unnoticed intension and u r responsible for all the world around u,but i still surer that the stained wet dream mostly appeared under the exertion of
surrounding ill wills against my baby and me.my relation with my baby under my deep soul on which i felt sure about and also sure about ours being under god's attending,but dog's spying eyes kept penetrating.i fight against it for a long time but recently i was told by holy message that i should let my bady respond independently,let soul cares over them.so i just get rid of dog's biting as soon as possible,let it go as soon as possible.so maybe i loosed my rein not to let being hit. after all its a nice day today.i ate breakfast at home of my baby's mother.she fancied to capture my baby with her camera,and bring the shots with her notebook,likely upload to her gallery.i m glad to see her enjoying the cyberspace.after her departed for her school i held my baby outside.dogs let my baby recently so quite unconfortable that he seemingly crabbed to cry more.seemingly they almost saw their wane.qrrs,the work place i once in,operated on the concrete ground in the dorm yard,and today they laid a red papers on each well to underground drain within the ground they tore apart.they overturn the pave way aside the grass.they have machine,and their machinery head.they believed in their machinery head. after lunch my baby's mother launch to try to make use of the rest of adsl service my kid brother's wife left.i maybe then surfed more at my baby's mother's home in the coming days. bye.i love u.in shindy and agitation.kiss u with drip of tears in dream. my baby's mother's works today.
dogged day but still with warmth
Posted by benzrad at 6:44 PM 0 comments
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Friday, October 20, 2006
after lunch i haunted the newspaper room of qrrs.an old man sat aside me leaned to me,leting me disgusted.but i kept on reading.i read pictorial magzines.after i finished reading and head outside to refresh,an old man followed me,probably the same man of the reading room.seems qrrs or qiqihar can't grow anything beside this kind of shits.i looked at the surface of the lake or pool in front of qrrs.the water is shollow,and i know the dusts grows quick,for my room took days to have to be moped.the factory generated a lot of black dusts.then i returned to the dorm.some machines gathered in the dorm yard breaking the concrete ground.i started to charge my pda.i listened my radio lately. dogs in the cafe rampant and started to bite me as soon as i settled.now they deceded.but im likely timed out.today i intended to spent 2 yuan on internet. bye.kiss u with warmth.i love u.
Posted by benzrad at 7:04 PM 0 comments
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faint sunshine in the morning.
i woke up at 8:23 am and got up at 10:33 am.i dreamed a lot in dawn.i dreamed of qrrs,the work place i once worked and its dorm i now lived in,busy with decorating floats preparing for some gatherings.i dreamed my dream was broke by the visiting of my roommate seldom returned.i saw a rat in my dream.i got up and turning my radio and its was a boring program titled net music bar,but in fact its show of 2 woman who can manipultae their voice to mimic differet accents,most of their mimic just the ugly reality of nowaday china or the northeast china: cliech,violence,distorted sex or love.this morning they quote a news reporting a male collegian mimic Marilyn Menroe with nuked and posted in bbs.they mimic boring news reporter in the guise of authority and illwilled peeking eyes.that just mirror the surrounding dark souls around me,like neighbors in the dorm and in the cafe.i doubting my restraining to curb my expenditure on internet and till felt better to shift myself into the sunshine outside.i rambled awhile in the opening along the main street u left in sunshine outside of the starsea cafe till i felt eager to see my webcam. bye.i m timed out.i love u.kiss u. -还我河山 Posted by benzrad at 11:08 AM 0 comments
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Thursday, October 19, 2006
morning sunshine like lamb
i got up at 8:29 am.last night i slept a little bit late,for trying wallop let the pc in the cafe hanged some times and let me stayed there.after i returned to the dorm its already 11:00 pm.in the morning after i got up i headed to visit my baby.i lingered in the cafe near my baby's mother's home an hour to adding visiting counter to her blogger .my baby received me near the door.he immediately asked for haunting outside.we wandered outside for half and an hour till seeing his mother returning.we played in the south garden where he chased after yellow leaves on the ground.a tall young mother led her boy and playing hide-and-see and attacted my baby awhile,but he soon immersed in his own play.in the grocer near his mother's school,i teased the daughter a lot and she kicked me.she can't do anything other to show her failure.after returned i busy to test building a mobile office on udisk with taango but daunted by registering online.my baby soon slept after being breast.his mother shown her anger with me for i didn't eat lunch on time.in the mid i left home to download some soft in need and being bited heavily in the cafe.after i return the old woman asked for leave to buy grocery and my baby miserablely cried for my caress when i attempted to finish my work on pc.finally i gave up and held my baby out.we peeked the large house with tree yard and sorrounded by brick wall from the gate door hole and let my baby sat on the wall standing on a bench near the wall.my baby very glad to sat on the wall and loath to left.i bought him a ball candy in the garden grocer and returned.i tried to play with him before my leaving.he felt and played with me for some time.i let him playing on the balcony and let the old woman seeing him and i left in silence.i don't know if he will cry when he found my absence.on the way the feeling let me low. after dinner i checked my spb finance on my pda.the passed 3 month in dorm i overran my budget less than 100 yuan monthly.my salary card left 100 yuan or more.that's all my cash
at hand for my living.last month i spent 80 yuan or more on internet but the half of this month i had spent 120 and more yaun on it. bye.i likely timed out.kiss u with tears from heaven.i love u,near and far. Posted by benzrad at 9:30 AM 0 comments Links to this post Labels: diary, heart
Wednesday, October 18, 2006
ccoudy in the morning,sunny in the afternoon
i woke up at 8:23 am and got up at 10:21 am.in the dawn i dreamed elablorating the notion of vain(wu in chinese) of buddism with my alumni,chenxinjian and wujiang.the foremer worked as a staff of the personel bureau of shenzhen and the later some times ago worked as a scholar in US.then in the dorm of nankai unv. i graduated,i played with wujiang and chenjiancai,an alumnus later shifted himself to another school of nakai.after getting up i waited for my pda being charged.after lunch i haunted the cafe to customize my baby's mother's blog.last night quite some website i frequently accessed can't be connected to,like blogger,blogcn.com,sunrain.net and others,likely something underwent.today the cafe didn't require paper registry and i can access those site as usually.last night i read a computer magzine a bit lately and felt dogs biting.after 2 hours here i returned to the garden within the dorm to rest.i sat on the bench and gazed the sun.after sunset i wander around the garden till near dinner time.in afternoon i got an orkut account and was attracted by it at once. dog's biting now.two males aound me just there dirty willed. bye.i love u,like sunray.kiss u with bright. Posted by benzrad at 5:45 PM 0 comments Links to this post Labels: diary, heart
Tuesday, October 17, 2006
a full sunny day.
i woke up at 8:03 am and headed to my baby's mother's home immediately.i strived to constrain my desire to surf the web and seeing my baby first.when i arrived,my baby sleeping.i slept aside him on the bedroom till he woke up.he cried awhile after woke up then started to play on his own under my attendance.when its 10:30 am i held him outside to receive his mother's return from her school.we picked the path to the sportsyard first and there a large crowd of students or worker of surveying and drawing working there.my baby played and slided to one of their team but was blocked temperarily by a tall strong man but later we passed it by.then i held my baby pay the rest room of old cadres near the sportsyard.there r 3 rooms within.a room for reading magzines and newspapers.the middle room for the administration,the side room near the yard for chess and card playing.in the chess room an old man likely the worker stopped our dwelling.then we passed the old large house of the highest cadre of the area and bought my baby a bag of peanuts and a bottle of water.on the way to south garden my baby picked to play slding board in a residentail zone.the south garden swarmed with aged people,the fountain was dried and covered with tent and my baby walked on the tightened tent.then i bought him an ice stick in the garden grocery shop.we ate the stick till in the school of his mother.quite some students trained there,likely grade one students.they recently frequently trained there in the afternoon.when
my baby step onto the sports yard they retreated to the concrete ball sports yard.we played for quite some time.when we attempted to leave,his mother catched up us and let my baby make water.then she pushed us leaving.my baby cried for her milk and cired till felt into sleep at home after near half of an hour.i held him sleeping for almost an hour and lately shift to the old woman to lay him on the bed and i started to copy some home video to udisk for uploading to my web account.i ate dinner there. thats our happy day.i felt quite complacent. the cops demanded to register id number onto the paper sheet in the cafe from today.really shitting.they worthless to be cursed.they fouled the all country till their bankrupt and collapse.every sound person liked to see the day.and quite some website can't accessed.shits everywhere and the world in china likes a dustbin. bye.i love u.kiss u with tears for the downfall of chinese. by the way the picture on my homepage of google from nasa really wonderful.so i linked it here. Posted by benzrad at 8:27 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Monday, October 16, 2006
sunshines sometimes in the afternoon
i spent 3 hours in the afternoon in the cafe.first 2 customized my homepage soon after lunch.latter spent on trying google's bookmarks and posting via email.in the mid i stayed in the dorm awhile and observing the flashing sunshine.then i went to qrrs' libary to borrow some computer magzines.the gatekeepers in cop's uniform checked my staff id carefully.later the librarian told me some team visisted here.returned to the dorm i skimed awhile but seemed not so attractive as the web.at noon i can't help my gladness to buzz my baby's mother on her feeling on her blog i set for her.but she told me she unavailable in the morning.these days i definitely spent too time on web than what i can afford.but i think its my investment,my investment on google and my virtual presence in cyberspace.i m of no regret.i hope i can stay and enjoy the nest i prepared on google for myself aftermath.wilder animals,landscapes,news,music,stuffed my homepage,awaiting my eyesighting. i m likely to time out.kiss u.i love u with peace.bye. Posted by benzrad at 7:54 PM 0 comments Links to this post
however its late autumn.the rain likely foretell the arrival of winter.i woke up at 9:03 am and got up at 9:33 am.last night dogs bited lately and i determined to let them barking.i don't know when i slept, but i remember later dream.i brought a magzine with me with our alumni to visit peking unv.,there i lost my team and toddled alone.i then took a minibus and asked a woman taker who to get peking unv.,she let me get of the bus right the stop in a haste.then i was in a crowd siheyuan and some old women told me to crawl on the zigzag narrow tunnel to outlet,for the mordern buildings occupied most of the open space and main road,shortcuts left in narrow tunnels.heard this when i crawling and climbing the narrow steep path to opening,i gave up and woke up.after woke up i found bogs still biting.i started to clip feet nails then.the rain let me relieved and cosy now in the cafe.rain let people trenched and find their own being and peace. bye.i need customize my homepage now.kiss u with dew,like the rain in dawn.i love u. Posted by benzrad at 10:05 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Sunday, October 15, 2006
a busy day with google in bright day.
in the morning i register my baby another goole account and left the cafe near 12 am.when i arrived my baby's mother's home they r having lunch,including the old woman and her mother.i ate with them.after lunch my baby's mother suggested my bringing baby sunshine outside.he lingered before a bike repairer's stall and refused to leave and asked for some thing i don't know.so i let him leave.near the fried chieken shop a tall girl with marvelous figure attracted us and we stayed there till her left.then i complained it to my baby,saying i don't know how to deal with such a good thing.my baby then asked for ice stick and a bag of fried shrimp and a bottle of water.we headed to the south garden where we first met 2 little girl,one of them with a pair of large bright eyes.i let them play my pda but my baby loathed to let them play.a strong man near blow piccolo.we played around him awhile.then my baby played with dirty water in the shallow of ground lamps,he even put his finger stained with the dirty water into my mouth.another tall young mother haunted around.in the only conversation i praised her figure but she didn't repliy.we pick the path through sportsyard to return.the cops team trained there . after returned i went to shower.then i played awhile pc.with the cool stool and biting dogs around my bottock painful when i left.i ate dinner in the canteen and let the female administrator watch my baby's photos on my pda as i promised her. more than an hour spent on customise my baby's mother's group. bye.i felt quite placated with my works.kiss u. Posted by benzrad at 7:45 PM 0 comments Links to this post
limp sunshine morning
i got up at 9:35 am.last night i slept late.the neighbor hooligans kept chuckling and rattling lately.my grand old father from my distant hometown brought me into dream then.i dreamed my mother let my kid brother sleep with him in the house on a high land on steep slope.that settled me,for i think my kid brother likely in missing of his target.later a girl daughter of a general active in my dream.after getting up i head the path to my baby's mother's home and i picked a cafe in half way to blog.my home at myspac.com seeing its first guest,madison,and i spent some time replying her.what a chant. for its late.i'd better to see my baby right now.bye.kiss u.i love u. Posted by benzrad at 11:06 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Saturday, October 14, 2006
bright day,busy with adding webcam
in the afternoon i can't help eagering to register my baby an google account.i really enjoy google.the night busy with adding wildlife webcam to my google homepage,but hard to find available webcam of bear or leopard.qrrs,my once working place, set a party for the young staff in the dorm,with floating polar near the gate,and cracks and fireworks.i ate my dinner silently in a temporary room.today i spent 4 hour in the morning,3 hours in the afternoon
and 2 hour in the night in cafes.i rearranged my google's homepage so as to let the contents categoried.now its likely almost settled.dogs biting,and my fix time ran out soon. bye.i love u.kiss u. Posted by benzrad at 8:02 PM 0 comments Links to this post
soft bright morning sunshine
i woke up at 7:23 am and got up at 7:53 am.last night i went to bed on time but likely in dream i felt keeping awake while don't fatigued.i first dreamed in a attic with glass roof,we couple,with my wife in pregnance,with other 2 families shared the same room,all on bed while the pouring rain leaking in stream from the roof on the floor.then i felt had to relieve the urine which made me sleepless.so i got up and found dawn paled the curtain.returned from the toilet i met a guy with a cap on his head peaking the tv room facing my door.i in fact now don't know my visiting toilet real or in dream.then on bed i continued dreaming the dorm administrators entered and left,and i just slept.then then interrupted me to let me know i shitted on the bed under my body and foul the whole building.and i know a crowd outside of the door peeking.i looked and really i shitted on bed.before these two dreams i dreamed another dream but it now evaded me.after woke up i missed jamie,who changed her picuture to show her maturity.these days i sometimes skimmed 'be friend with god' and so encouraged to trust god that i sometimes just had to lay it aside to let the feeling of plenty to stay. last night i buzzed my baby's mother and she agree my visiting my baby tomorrow.he is the brightest star in my silver velvet sky.we r all son of god.he enchanted me so much,and enhenced me so good.now from the holy message from 'be friend with god',i know the best trust is trust needless,to let urself absolutely independent.i indeed trust my baby in deep heart,i just can't help loving him so smotheringly. bye.dear.i now in a cafe far from starsea but within the zone of qrrs.i love u with settlement,with trust.kiss u with dear. Posted by benzrad at 8:13 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Friday, October 13, 2006
most of the day gloomy.
i arrived my baby's home after 11:00 am.he was not so eager for my caress.i kiss his leg first as usual.then he asked for haunting outside but i hindered him for its cold outside.then he played with the clock.soon his mother returned.she now seems not so spoilt by my presence.she holding baby to kick me and let my baby laugh a lot.after lunch i boast the convinience of google and suggested to register her an account.she admitted so i intended to leave with her together.but our baby cried upon our leave so i stayed at home to care my baby.later i held my baby outside.we visited the sportsyard,passing the grocery shops my baby didn't ask for juice.we passed a working team busy implimenting fiber wire underground and my baby interested in the hole to the underground.then we entered the south garden and chatted with the woman grocer.i bought my baby a cup of jelly.for the old woman urged not to let my baby eat anything to stain his thick clothings,i let my baby suck the straw instead of his prefered way to drink from the rim of the cup.he walked on the mall on the yellow leave for quite some time and find pleasure.when it started to sunshine weakly i brought him home and left when he cried for my leaving.i went to the nearby cafe to register an google account for his mother and finished all setting within her account.it cost me half and 2 hours.the cafe was almost full,and a cop attempted to sat aside me but i
changed a seat immediately.after finished it in the cafe i returned to see if my baby's mother returned but was told she was due to have night lesson and would returned before 7:00 pm.so i wrote to let my baby's mother know the account detail and handed to the old woman.then my baby in sleet woke up and the old woman waved him to continue sleep.i waited he calmed down and left. in the dorm canteen an female administrator talked about my baby and i attempted to show her my baby's photos but found my pda ran out of battary.but when i took it out of its suitcase it was turned on and showing screen even i didn't powered it. heavily being bited here.a fat man aside me left half way. bye.in the passed 2 days the cafe i m in now,starsea,charged me unfairly when i adopted the way to pay when leave.so i changed back to fix hour usage.i love u.kiss u with warm heart. Posted by benzrad at 6:13 PM 0 comments Links to this post
i woke up at 7:30 am and got up at 8:47 am.last night i slept on time and dreamed a lot.in a dream i likely in a rest room of traveling place like railway station or something likes,and worry my shoes.then in a room of VIPs,a man likely party secretary declared an bribery of a guy named zhu jiulong(nine dragon),or sounds alike,accounted to 1.9 billions.then some buy checked my radio and found 2 gold coins under its button worthed of 2 thousands.after getting up i head here,a cafe near my baby's mother's home immediately.the sky is pale and unclear,but on the corner turning to the path to my baby's mother's home i saw my shaddown on the ground on my bike.now it started to shine.i felt it will sunshine in the afternoon. now i had 3 friends in gtalk to chat.even sometimes i doubting if i can afford it. bye.my dear.i love u in beam.its now beams outside of the glass door of the cafe.kiss u with hot. Posted by benzrad at 9:55 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Thursday, October 12, 2006
in fact the sky is blue in daytime
in the afternoon i spent about an hour in the sunshine on the bench after returned from the cafe.then i returned to the cafe to modify my youtube account.in the rest of time i roamed in the garden till the sun fell down to the skyline of the reef of the opposing dorm.i worried my budget but i still think i m sufficed to do what in need and in want.after dinner here i tried gtalkprofile.com to find some firends to talk with with gtalk.now i settled and won 2 approvals.the road tends to be opener ahead. i also subscribed some rss feed within google reader.i like science reports.i really enjoy the web. u r likely under presure of finding a job duely.i bewith u the goodwill for our fortune in this land,in our kingdom to reclaim.i don't know where is my village to settle but u r my outpost.i endured in tunnel so far but i walked through so many death match mine and i doomed to see the opening space.god,god in grace see my tumble and my righteousness. bye.i love u.today i spent whole day alone,abiding my baby's mother's asking.i hope i can hear his mother buzzing me tonight to let me know if i can see my baby tomorrow.kiss u with sole miss. Posted by benzrad at 5:33 PM 0 comments Links to this post
peaceful sunny morning.
last night i read the new borrowed computer magzines from qrrs lately and finished the three.the neighbor hooligans whistled and cracked to urge me laying myself down but i did according my own schedule after 0:30 am.god descended to me and i felt safe to rest in peace and i did indeed.i think god's leading me through after these days' being bited.i really have nothing to worry,my baby in shrine,my kingdom in thriving, my people in shiving, only the stealer in charge now shiveling.its dogs losing their paws, its spies dosing wilderings.they strived to break the links among my baby and his mother and me,but we all intact.we don't stay togather to love,but love togather to stay.its another milky late autumn morning, i was left freely to enjoy the free web service.i like it, and just need some time to familar with it.busy or free, times and times i saw god. bye.i spent more than an hours here in the starsea cafe,customize my blog.hope u enjoy my home here.i love u.like the pure white in the sunshine.kiss u with whitewashed pale sky. Posted by benzrad at 10:27 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
i let my baby played with water awhile indoor and felt the animosity of the old woman.at 11:00 am i brought my baby out to receive his mother.but he disliked the way to the school and we truned to the sports yard where some students likely from a school of survey and draw.they appeared yesterday.i chatted with a tall girl among them.they had 2 girl both tall.i also peeked the telescope.but my baby strongly refused to see through it.there r 2 aged playing roll(tuoluo).when we approached them a large black dog with its woman host passed over.my baby insisted to follow the dog but they entered a room aside the yard.when i again want to see clear the another tall girl of the school my baby refused and i also felt the hostility from the body.then we played swing near the basket ball yard where the school settled.my baby started to be irregular and they let him fall down with a long stick my baby picked from ground in his hand ,but my baby kept intact.then we left and after passed the narrow door in the steel grid seperating the yard from the residential building when i attempted to tighten my belt,my baby itched and fell topdown onto my back and i catched him with only a hand onto his only leg on my shoulder.that can be said the most dangerous situation i ever encountered when i broght my baby outside.my baby usually sat well on my neck with his hands touching me.so no doubt the sorrounding hostile beasts irritated him.i looked back but can't assure who threatened.my baby cried awhile and insisted returning through the door in the grid to the sportsyard and left the yard through its far side rolling door.i bought him a bag of candy in the grocer within the garden and missed his mother who left in advance.when we stood inside the door of the school,her mother returned from home and obviously angery.she demanded me to leave after lunch and angerer to my claims that dogs pested us.i also felt i'd better rest in the afternoon.so i left.my baby waved to me when i left.that let me more relieved. on the bed in the dorm i soon felt into sleep,let my soul guarding my baby.dogs today likely crazy.but all what they can do is barking upon the wrong tree. bye.an hour spent on adding music to my gmail.i love u,in heaven on earth.kiss u with bees and birds. Posted by benzrad at 5:39 PM 0 comments Links to this post
the autumn sunshine lingering.
i woke up at 6:55 am and got up at 7:13 am.last night i felt very hungery and being bited just after i went to bed heavily.i trenched them in the dustbin and i saw it uncovered in the morning in the corridor.its unusual in the passed days in which i got up late after 9:00 am is routine.i also had my breakfast so unusually that the administrator of the canteen claimed didn't seeing me for some time.then i went to the starsea cafe but most of it was cleaning and the clerks loathed to receive customers.what i can say is that dogs always bankrupt quality of service.then i picked my bike and heading here,a cafe entitled 'information supermarket',near my baby's mother's home.i had beeing trying google's video service and registered an account in youtube.com which was just claimed by google.i really enjoys the new stuff from the web. bye.i m to see my baby.his mother asked me not to come yesterday but i think now that the weather so nice and so precious i should come with my baby.i love u,without any reservation.kiss u with budding. Posted by benzrad at 8:25 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Tuesday, October 10, 2006
sunny in the afternoon
after lunch i stayed in the dorm and strode.till 1:30 pm i started to read and immediately encouraged to see my baby now that the sunshine so bright.when i arrived the old woman had held my baby out,so i copied the video i shot yesterday to my udisk intendingly to upload to myspace.com.then i went to fetch my bayb,and i found them in the south garden on the square.an chorus consisted mostly of aged women and frequently sang songs granting mothership singing there and 3 girl students in front of my baby and soon left after caught sight of me.my baby in a cap and very cute.i immediately caressed him and the old woman asked for leave.my baby played awhile on the tablet and asked for food.the grocer suggested chokolate at a price of 1 yuan.we bought.the woman started to tease my baby,so i suggested to pay back the juice another grocer lent us yesterday.my baby admitted and we bought an ice stick and a bottle of water there.my baby now understood a lot of talks we had and frequently hum to reply me in points.after played awhile on the sportsyard and the sunshine darkened we returned.at home he laughed a lot with hide and see behind the curtain of the balcony in sunshine.i accompanied him playing till 4:30 am and then we went outside to receive his mother returning from her school.the watch dog of the school approached us 2 or 3 times to hinder us entering the school and we left with disgusts.then we near again the grocery whose daughter familiar with us and now lured us to buy her fried sausage.i tried to block my baby's request for his mother not let me buing food on street but gave up upon my baby's cries.the we triple united and heading home.i ate dinner there and returned. almost 2 hours spent on html grammar practise trying to customize my profile on myspace.com.its really troublesome on allowing html code.it frequently errored when the code works well in blogger.com. bye.i love u in stary sky in late autumn night.hope u allowed me to enjoy my personal peace life with my old family when u still refused to lend me ur hands. some more pictures shot yesterday.i don't want to waste them.
the Son review the autumn sunshine Jan 2, 2005 - 4 Photos
Get this video and more at MySpace.com Posted by benzrad at 6:25 PM 0 comments Links to this post
cloudy winter monring arrived.
its windy and cold.my sleep was broke by the entering of the dorm admin to install a new lamp to replace the illworking one.last night my baby's mother buzzed after 9:00 pm to let me know some person of the working place i once worked want to know if we divorced.their real aim was to urge our register of our divorce.my baby's mother lied,saying our id card not at hand.when i told her her needn't to lie,she lost her temper and demand me not to see my baby or a time a week.i know she suffered. bye. Posted by benzrad at 9:32 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Monday, October 09, 2006
returns the autumn sunshine
i got up lately after 9:00 am.i waited my pda to charge till 11:33 am.then i headed to my baby's home.the wife and son of my kid brother,who himself had worked in guangdong prov.,southern china for months,scheduled to leave for their reunion tonight.the son left at home while the mother left.after lunch my baby's mother suggested to bring our baby outside.i doubting the son of my brother recently showing rebellion and likely hard to let him follow us so i agreed to leave him home with the old woman.my son's mother left to her school directly and left me with my baby.my baby now quite some times irrelevant to grocers nearby but he insisted haunting one with a steep ladder to its window after passed some grocers.just after i chose a bottle i found i didn't bring money with me for changing suit into working clothes.my baby cried to protest.then we passed again a grocer we haunted a lot except recently.we entered and found the daughter and the woman boss all there.the daughter teased a lot with us but they lent us a bottle of juice.my baby holding the cap in his hand as usual and drank 2 or 3 times.the rest was poured into the fountain of the south garden.we played on the tablet,and the sunshine lured me to shot and i did.most dwellers r aged except a girl with fit jean played with her nephew.i followed her some time
and exchanged some words with her.then the disgusting old woman with her grand daughter in family name of liu,harrassed us many times,approached us and talked to us herself,letting me coughed 3 times and spoilt some candy the grocer in the garden lent us.after visiting the sports yard by the way we returned.i then busy with sorting shots but my baby asked for my caress for quite some times and even cried miserabely.the wife of my brother and the grandmom of my baby arrived soon.i then busy with searching for missing sd card of the camera.i konw my baby first played with it but usually he didn't hide it.so i blamed the son of my brother,who replied always 'mela(lost)' upon my asking if he caught sight of it.his mother didn't scorned him but i felt very anger to him.then the mother of my baby returned and got irritated with me as soon as i told the card missing.she kicked me and demanded me leaving.so i left.the kid sister of my baby's mother summoned a banquet before their leaving tonight. so that our day in the sunshine.i was being bited since my beseat.after all i felt placated with my shottings.my son's mother condamned my publishing my baby's shot but i just can't help doing it.i just felt the pecular and precious of my baby's shot in his infantile. bye.i love u,not matter how i was spilt by the naughty boy of a woman of the same family name of ur.kiss u with hot.
the Son review the autumn sunshine Jan 2, 2005 - 10 Photos
Posted by benzrad at 5:58 PM 0 comments
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Sunday, October 08, 2006
sunshined after we entered the sports yard.
the morning really a bit chill.so after i arrived my baby's mother's home i had to stay at home with him at first.but soon he insisted to outside.i first tried to console him by let him in the corridor of the 7th floor.but he gradully let me holding him outside of the building.i m with a shirt and he also wore thin.we moved to the sports yard and he insisted watching the tennis yard.then i felt we had to eat something to drive coldness away now that he refused my suggestion to back to fetch some clothings.we bought a package of peanuts.i fed him with mouth.then he liked to play the sliding board in a residential area.the a little boy and his father arrived.the boy directly wanted to partake the sliding, my baby then started to shiver and i holding him return quickly.after lunch,we brought our baby outside,his mother went to her school and i tried to capture my baby in the beginning of winter.by the way,today is the winter chill day according to lunar calendar.he let me bought him a bottle of juice and played with the cap immediately.we entered the garden and i started to shot.after shoting we played with the bottle for some time.after we moved to the sports
yard he played with sand aside the yard awhile and asked to play with the camera.when we moved to the center of the sports yard it sunshined.i felt glad and shot more pictures onto my baby.then we returned.after the old woman returned from dispatching dustbin,i started to sort photos,with an ear listening my baby's crying upon his sleep the woman urged.i soon after my baby laid on bed sleeping finished my work and left after kissing him in dream.i really love him. in the dorm i read awhile jixianlin's auatobiography till dinner.then here i dealt with friend invitation within myspace.com. bye.today my pda quote love message needs rewarmth like oil needed to keep lamp.these days i busy with setting up my google account,and logging my days,i really don't know how i can talk to u,with ur heart in my heart.day by day, the life stream floating us apart and more apart,what i can do in my view is to let u know my life,let u know me,on the contrast to ur refusal to let me know u.i know i m likely burning into smoke,but what the meaning of striving to burn last now that what u interested is sidewatching and rating. i love u.kiss u with windy bushes sheltering flower garden. here is the shot of today.
the Son before the winter Oct 5, 2006 - 12 Photos
Posted by benzrad at 5:43 PM 0 comments
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first pale winter morning sticks out its head.
the sun can only be seen from open area and unclear without obvious clouds.after seeing it i more or less reliefed for i had thought it a cloudy day when i open my window.i got up at 7:56 am and immediately felt sorry for myself as well as for my baby son.last night i was heavily bited in dorm when i washing my feet and let it sank in hot water aside my bed.when i went out to spilt water,founding a tall pal stood in the door of tv room facing my door.biting dog not only from him but also from neighbor rooms and upstairs.i finished reading to the biography of jixianlin and skim the biography of german chancellor Angela Merkel.when the music from radio finished,i went to sleep. on the way i doubting if i should see my baby first,but i really miss here the web to miss u,to share with u.and i think with my peace my baby can benefits.so i be here,with u in mind,with the world in front,with god in testimony. bye.i m to see my baby,after i skimmed the news content i subscribed via google.i love u,in hard time and in soft time.kiss u with pale sky's pearl,the sun. Posted by benzrad at 8:25 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Saturday, October 07, 2006
cold winter just over there
i arrived my baby's home almost at lunch.then i launched to register the security soft his mother's notebook adopted with sn from the web.after lunch i busy with modifying logo for my blogs.my son's grandmom and her elder sister brought him and his cousin outside sunshine.my baby's mother tutoring.after i finished she urged me to see my baby in south garden.so i headed there.my baby glad to see me and immediately led me hold him apart from them,the grandmom,etc.he asked for ball candy and let a lot of mouth water on my hairs.after we returned to home,i found something challenging.i blamed the son of my baby's grandmom's kid sister,who there to be tutored but at the moment idle.but my baby's mother unease with his cousin,who later spoilt the coca onto the ground and hide himself in the corner.i then also almost sure he counted to the dirty wills floating in the room.i then sat down to wondering my kid brother,why he left his family here,and his wife in family name zhou as u,why she left her son here and left.then the little boy asked for shitting,i held him to the lavatory and picked a towl paper aside when his mother returned and found us.then i left to the dorm.i continued reading on the biography of jixianlin till dinner.first time my feet in shoes felt cold in the room. today u r likely returning to ur school.what i can say its that i hope god brought us closer in the holiday.day but day i roamed among my blogs just in the aim to catch u face to face,and lead ur hand to me forth.god knows how fragile the balance i had now is. bye.kiss u with the dropping of yellow leaves.i love u in patience.patience is the another name of fortitude.i pray for u by praying to god. Posted by benzrad at 5:49 PM 0 comments Links to this post
windy morning even in sunshine.
i got up at 10:08 am.last night i read the biography of jixianlin,the countable human art scholar survived the new republic.he studied the history of buddism and really in the companion of god.his beloved in germany when he studied there kept single all her life,and the 2 woman accompany him in china cared his full life when he started his career in china republic. last night i complained my google account only offer chinese content even i set my account as from a us',likely hampered by chinese watchdog,then this morning here i found again english content options and added some.thx god. bye.i m here a cafe near my baby's mother's home.its near lunch time.i m to see my baby.kiss u.l love u. Posted by benzrad at 10:54 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Friday, October 06, 2006
a day of full sunshine, a day of middle autumn day.
dogs,likely 2 middle aged male in their 30s', heavily biting here now paralleling with me aparted by the corridor.a girl facing near a seat.flies stood and flied over my head.dim light covered half the the second floor of starsea cafe.that's the place i chosed after wandering about half an hour outside under the autumn sky.i don't know if its common for cafe,or just ruined by the hand of dogs,which likely manipulated most of the internet cafes in china.
today i got up early at 8:01 am and headed to see my baby as soon as the charging pda ready.my son's mother want to show my pda to her students refered by their textbook.i installed ms device emmulator on her notebook to simulating pda screen.then we started to haunt outside.his mother went to her shool and we played in the south garden.not so many children there,but we chose 2 baby girls with their grandmom and grandpa.one quick at learn and another domineering.my baby on my neck.when we leaving we met a tall and slim man from germany.we chatted awhile,while my baby constantly let his bottle onto the ground and let the man pick it for him.later the german fed up and claimed not to pick it any more.later on the way home as soon as reviewing it i can't help laughing.but he and might before him those parents there accompanying their children,let my baby's running nose running over to his mouth.till we parted the german and passed by the grocer and bought ball candy the grocer let me known.we returned home some minutes before his mother,who later claimed her lecture a success. after lunch i went to common bathroom.when i returned my baby slept.his mother started to tutor her 2 stucents,including a new one,the son of the only doctor of her school.she bought my son a suit of sports clothings as the fee,but when she met us on the ground she said that's her gift for our baby.i left after her 2 girl students arrived.my baby then had played awhile on my neck with a tube of eye ointment of his mother's and mess a lot on my shirt.he farewelled to me gladly. so its our happy middle autumn's day.last night i called to my parents in my hometown.my second elder sister and the son of the third elder sister,and my eldest brother and his son there.i felt glad to chat with the son of my sister and told him no matter how he endures the striving contest among his classmates,which is cliche in nowaday china,he should be at ease for he always under god's care.i tried to talk with my grand father but barely understood what he said.i just told him i want him to stay in the world for more years till i visit him with my new wife,and the old family,esp.my baby son with whom my mother asked for many times.they said my father got mind unclear for quite some time,but i believed in him as usual.he is my hero and my god. bye.i love u.like sunflower in autumn wind.kiss u with beverage in aging mouth. Posted by benzrad at 5:39 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Thursday, October 05, 2006
a day of swizzling sunshine.
i arrived my baby's mother's home at about 11:00 am and start to sorted her dv.after lunch,we set out with our baby to shot the wonderful day.my baby played on the yard of the school his mother worked for and just let me alone doing shotting.all can't be more nicer.when my baby needed to mop the dust on the ground to shift dirty wills from around,his mother insisted to leave the place and i suggested to south garden nearby.just after entered the garden my baby turned to irregular and i suggested to buy him some food.so we went to the grocer and bought him a bottle of juice.a woman likely the wife of the director charging the garden leaving the grocer and chatted with my baby's mother on her daughter's study which under my baby's mother's supervision.then we started to shot again.the sun ray is strong,so the cheap dv his mother had can capture the moment when we push the bottom,otherwise it loathes to shut its shutter for insufficient income rays resulting ghosts.so i learned to capture the motive moment of my baby.some of them list below:
happy national day Oct 5, 2006 - 15 Photos
dogs and bugs,that's routine when i read my pda after retuned and sat on the bench in the garden. bye.i love u.like sunshine and like beshone.kiss u with straw from autumn rice field. Posted by benzrad at 5:40 PM 0 comments Links to this post
perfect sunny morning,in my memory the longest autumn
i woke up at 8:55 am and got up at 9:35.last night i dreamed some unpleasant things and i know even in dream u can be disturbed.i headed to my baby's mother's home immediately and lingered in a cafe in the way near the house.i tried my 2 photo blog of google with one i didn't settled last night.the sunshine is really brilliant outside of the door and i felt i can't linger here much time to waste it. as a by-product of search u via web i enjoyed virtual id in cyberspace,just as i envisioned when i was kept in asylum this time last year.at that time my confidence was hurt and i thought i can only do what i can do,let my baby under his mother's care,with which i had been so worried that i broke down before entering the asylum.what i can do was to blog and log my routine as testimony for my soundness.now i applied it in fact.at the time when in asylum i promised my baby's mother if she treated me and my visiting relatives,including my elder sister and kid brother's family, well and i will never sue divorce as petitioner.till now my baby's mother had sued 2 times for divorce but herself gave up.i had to and abled to let her felt safe to live independently. in a word,i really felt in god's guide and placated.no more no less i can spend time and money on the web. bye.i love u with tears dreed after so many ready beauties around but apart from me.kiss u with berry in teeth. Posted by benzrad at 10:28 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Wednesday, October 04, 2006
wonderful sunny afternoon.
its about 11:20 am when i arrived my baby's mother's home.his mother at home.she later in the afternoon asked me why i recently visited my baby a time a day, i replied that the sun so nice that i can't spoil it.after lunch i sort her dv and shifted shots to her notebook
and backed some to my sd card so as to upload to the web.then i tried to capture more of us with our baby.when its almost time for her to her school we held our son to sportsyard to shot pictures.after my baby asked for ice stick and i bought him one she left in anger.i then let my baby played in the yard in her school till the watch dog interrupted.then we moved to south garden where we played awhile near the fountain.and my baby asked for his second ice stick and a bottle of cock,and a ball candy.when he ate his ball candy on the rim of the fountain while i chatted with a little girl in family name of sun,the neighbor in family name of liu,harrassed us for quite some times,holding her granddaughter approached us and attempted to talk to my son,that just spoilt my baby son's candy into the fountain and we left after the girl,sun.we again returned to his mother's school waiting for the exam finished.crowd of students finished their test left around us.i noticed some of the girl students quite beautiful.after we met his mother and returned to home with her two pupils,i left to the dorm. i read awhie the bible on the bench in sunshine in the garden,till i felt rest in the sunshine more helpful to the spirit.so i watched sky till dinner time.and as soon as finished dinner i went to the front yard of the cafe,starsea,wandering in the sunset to rapt in serenity. an hour passed in trying blogger's photo post function. bye.dear,i know i own beauties without extending hands,but only u can fill the emptiness after my lust for girl's flesh.i looked forward to the day i unwrap u in dear in eager.i love u,under the same sky of days and nights.kiss u with sweatings.
benalbum Oct 4, 2006 - 6 Photos
Posted by benzrad at 5:43 PM 0 comments
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milky sunlight in the morning.
i got up at 9:54 am.and headed here,another cafe between the dorm and the home of my baby.i just registered http://benzyrnill.blogspot.com .i just too much love blogger.com and can't let any one register my blog title. my home at myspace recently errs several times likely being hacked.but god let the wonderful staff of the company of myspace.com restored it swiftly.thx all,thx god. its the fourth day of the national holiday,isn't it?i forgot all date in the days and nights to set my home in cyberspace more hospitable.i may treat it like a business,as regard its the speedest and cheapest way to testify my being.hope u can see me bye.i likely no more urgent to bliss.i love u.kiss u with warmth of late autumn sunshine. Posted by benzrad at 9:50 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Tuesday, October 03, 2006
really nice day
i arrived my baby's mother's home at lunch time.so i ate lunch there.after lunch i played awhile with him and his mother aside,feeding our baby with a kind of tasty grapes his mother's school offered as national day's bonus.then i did some modification to logos on his mother's notebook.then we went outside with his mother heading for her school.the sun can't be more bright.his mother warned if i let my baby eat ice stick she will kill both of us.but we ate 2 in the afternoon.we played in his mother's school awhile,to which later his mother claimed she watched from her office and felt glad our baby played so glad there.she was there monitoring monthly exams.my baby walked on the heaps of dropped leaves and played with the dustbin.i washed his hands with bottle water.then we went to south garden,where he practised to climb the steps of the tablet.then he walked independently to the mini play zone,where he laughed a lot when played with sliding board.dogs and bugs there around but we really entertained.when we left the grocer within the garden told me my son's mother had searched for us,so we headed home.on the way an old also told his mother's search.so i speeded up to return,but my son directed me to slide to a round way till picked again the way passing the old to return home.her mother tutoring the 2 girl students at home.also there her mother and the son of her mother's kid sister.i always glad to see young ladies and sang and recited chinese traditional peoms a lot.my baby insisted to let me care him when his grandma wanted to caress him.i left when seemingly his mother's kis sister will arrived and arranged a second dinner out since last unpleasant dinner out several days ago i reported here. in dorm zone,i read the bible on bench in the garden outside of the dorm but dogged biting.i kept reading till dinner time.after dinner i roamed under the clear sky and pink sunset, spirit let me breathe freely and freshly. these days i haunted my baby's mother's home more frequent. but in every second u r doming in my heart.my day wasted in watch u in silence remotely in fact.around the core of ur back to me,i prepared so intently. bye.kiss u.i love u with sunny sky. Posted by benzrad at 5:51 PM 0 comments Links to this post
bright sunny morning
a bright sunny morning.its beam on the curtain from the start raises me on bed.i got up at 9:47 am.and headed here,a cafe in the way between the dorm and my baby's mother's home,named xinlongyu(new dragon universe),to register my favored email account. last night i went to bed earlier among these days,at about 9 pm.but i reviewed a lot.before going to bed i read bible awhile,so i was in the shine of the spirit.i reviewed the troubled persons around me bugging me,and settled in staying in god's dome. bye.its really a nice morning,for the sun rays,for the peaceful night passed.these days i talked less,one reason is that i busy with signup new accounts and customise blog,the other reason is evading bugging and dogging.the third is that i settled more time to care u,rather than my bubbles.god says words let u less sense love in heart to heart,i love u in peace in serenity. kiss u with blossom.i love u. Posted by benzrad at 11:17 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Monday, October 02, 2006
sunny afternnon interupted by cloud
most time spend on customise.morning in baishi(hundred century) let me surer that most customers of internet cafe haunted there just to dirty will.i intended to tell u my dream in the dawn but gave up.nowaday seemingly everyone understand to sexually exert on others by will. this afternoon i spent in my baby's mother's home.i busy with modifying my logos for my blog and my business.the son and wife of my kid brother,who worked in guangdong province after visited me with his family and left his family here,were also there.i busy with computer,likely spoilt their lunch for its more or less a ceremony dinner but i left them all aside.the wife of my kid sister left first for her stall,then others brought the two children outside to sunshine.then i continued to backup to cd after a haste lunch,till them returned.then my baby slept on bed and his mother tutored 2 girl stucents.i watched my baby in his dream awhile.soon the return of his cousin and the old woman woke him up.i then strode in the waiting room with my baby on my neck and sang.that's all a nice afteroon with my beloved. after dinner i read awhile 'be friend with god',from the same author of the 'communication with god' series.dogs illwilled around,urge my leaving.i left till its dark and to here. bye.hope u happy holiday,baby.hold dear with my bless.i love u. Posted by benzrad at 6:23 PM 0 comments Links to this post
mild sun in the morning
i got up at 9:47 am.last night i worked lately after 2 am online to register my favored userid in google and yahoo,and customized my blog at blogcn.com.till now i almost finished it. bugs biting now. bye.hope u a nice holiday.love u with sunlight. Posted by benzrad at 11:12 AM 0 comments Links to this post
Sunday, October 01, 2006
sunny in the morning,cloudy afternoon
baby,here i m.last night the dorm was very dim when i returned there,seemingly quite some of the dweller headed to their hometown.i read <communication with god 3> lately till finished it.neighbor hooligan played even i ate some grapes brought from my baby's mother's home and its very sweat.i also drank some beer when felt lonely.this morning i got up lately and immediately went to sunshine in the garden till lunch time.in the afternoon i busy with design a logo for my blog now that blogcn offers the function of customise logo.i finished it in my baby's home till 5 pm and when went down to the ground to receive my baby from his grandmom and some relatives of his mother.i hold to sports yard for awhile and bought him a bottle of water and a ball candy.soon his mother arrived and i left. now i m in a cafe i first visit on the way between the dorm and my baby's mother's home.doggs attacking me.
bye.kiss u with cool.i love u. for logo picture to large,i spend 2 hour and more to edit it online but just waste time.the cafe named longjiu(dragon nine),bugs there biting heavily.it cost me 4 yuan.after i finished dinner in a little restaurant,its already 8:11 pm.i did some customise to my blog in blogcn.com in starsea cafe and now again under attacks. the street lost its usual day's crowd.everyone have their gatherings,except me.in fact i also hurt my son's mother.she shown her coldshoulder when i buzzed in to exchange daily bless.god's know i m determined for u. bye,the second haunt likely run out.kiss u with sweating. Posted by benzrad at 6:04 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Saturday, September 30, 2006
my search for my absent girl,zhou
odyssey in summer holiday: my search for my absent girl 2006-08-10 20:58:14 benz what can soothe my bitter and biting miss for the girl from daqing practised in qrrs and disappeared like sun ray from my view before i can cling to and hold it.what can help a broken dream rewind and reunited us that can render me in heaven. i beg u,girl zhou,leave me a clue to reach u,to trace u,to follow u.restless night i had endured in a once love teared me apart that time and i think i deserved not to lose u any more. day in day out,i count every pieces of memories where u presented around me in the flashing period u stayed in the dormitory and continuingly found its likely to flow out,leaving my empty hands in the short random life of a humble man. give me a chance to know u pl,as i entreat u twice. 2006-08-11 17:58:08 benz a new dusk.i know i survived another heartthrobing day.i enjoyed beauties as usual and brake my neck to peek around,but i know my heart was dented by u,zhou.i times and times told myself i had a better choice with u.in fact with u i with the world.i remember ur jumping hairs when u stepped onto the ladder to the commom to withdraw money from coupon.i rember ur princess beaming above me when i look up to u on the second u leave the common and we encountered shoulder by shoulder.i remember ur pleased smiling tone to ur classmate when he ask u how to handle ur knife and ur coward tone when i steadily asked u secondly if i can know u when u departing qiqihar in the dormitory yard where we spend so many and so few days.but i mostly remembered ur shy but tenderly warming reckon to my first request to know u,u said then we r already acquainted.its so shocking grace that i lost all my words but left to choose to play badminton with u,but u know that not what i intended and i just want a private space with u 2006-08-11 18:22:24 benz and u rebuke me by silence.u hinted me to chase after u to chat with u in 2 occasions but i missed.for i stubbornly think u should treat me different from the scratch.i know u will please all my dreams on wife at the moment u appeared in front of me in the night u was summoned and i ran into meeting the team outside the door.thats ur second time tentatively show urself to me among ur classmates.my soul was suddenly full of pride and love.i love u so.i dream u so.i had searched u so many years so.time a time again i destinied to find myself a tall wife with perfect buildups.time a time again i can't hold my soul thirsties back in my 30s years so far in the world.i love beauty just like u.i love tender
just like u.i seek being fullfilled with u.i can endure all loneliness for the sake u settled beside me like a feather to earth.i won't say i want u for god says wanting will keep u from it but that's just my yell,i would rather shut up all my voice to let the tender silent rebendable wish lead u approaching me 2006-08-11 18:43:28 benz yes,u talked to me once when u return from the common and passed by some herds of newcomers to qrrs but i don't know then and regard them ur classmates.i didn't regret for my losing words to u at the moment for i think i deserved a face to face talk with u and without peering eyes.so many coincidence with u without any viable clue make me think we r preset united.i two nights step out dormitory without any cue or precedence and met u.its indeed.the day u went out to play badminton just when i felt our love doomed and miserable on the distant chair and i suddently felt ur presence and turned around finding u.in the 2 days after ur leave i retrospected all ur eyes behind the window behind the scenes and felt u must like me from very a early time since ur arrival.i inspected the possible time u decided to show me ur charm,or in my view u start to love me and i more and more belived u from the start when i sat on the chair reading pda when u queued to line in u cared me.i believed one or 2 points i let u heartthrob. 2006-08-11 19:03:03 benz reviewing these let my heart full of self pity but i know i will get u.u r mine.u even controled me once when i stared a girl padding her bedcloth in sunshine and suddenly felt a cold shock.at the moment a man on his motor challenging me.u soon appeared behind me and i captured u on the stand rightly and leak a word:awesome.thats my first word to u.i know ur awesome.today i still believed in u.i know u can enforced and enhenced me. i missed so many to catch u but i know there is a place i turned my back and found u.ur gracious smile belong to me.ur jumpping hairs,like ur unbeattable confidence,ur slim wrest and tall and trunkalike legs,ur bloomy face even without my full scan,they all belong to me,to my sole secret heart,my secret mind,my secret soul fountain.i offer u a tiny but boundless garden in my soul to caltivate.the garden i locked so many years ignored so many beautiful girl minds in my growups by ignorance,now i know that's urs.im just the keeper,ur master servant. 2006-08-11 19:10:52 benz ur mine.ur the crowned queen of my kingdom.i will spent 25 years with u.we will have 2 children.l love u.i love u forever.i love u from the heaven to the earth.i wish after spending enough nights' dream with u u then appears in front of me beaming in the sun.that's all our family. kiss u. 2006-08-12 09:40:50 benz another sweating night and peaceful dawn.i woke up with painful body and soul.i finished breakfast and idle around but only found can't rid u from my mind.u lingered in my soul like a vain froggy cave,like a sleepless winter with always pale sky and indifferent wind cries.i stroke everywhere to search scent of ur smell but only lead nore empties.i looked at the lake surface mirroring sky and saw newly planted weeds weeping.i looked at the faces floating around me and saw fate made them all distant and caged.i see nowhere but the vain u left in my heart.it block my running days.u took away my pleasure of communication with my another part and deprived me of my vivid desire for a milk and honey land on ur body as well as ur soul i deserved.without u i like a fountain with dying source,without u i like a bird losing his componion.i m now a dumb bird in fact.u took away my confidence on my abilty to build my home with our hands and my thirsty to witness the full beauty of the universe.
2006-08-12 09:56:08 benz i can run out of words to express my miss for u,but the vain hollow u indented in my body strives to surive forever.god leaves an opening in our hearts. i don't know how to remind u to seal it in every right moment from now on.u r free of duty to do so but u can't evade ur soul's cry for mounting the way leading u to my bedside.u r mine.ur mine.u r a thousand years of mine.any obstacle can darken ur eyes but wind and sunshine always removed them from the bottom. kiss u again.kiss u with 2006-08-12 13:44:10 benz i can't help but return now that burning heart and fatigued feet called.i changed coupon for exchanges to surf here for i ran now out of pocket money.world left not too much dust on me but the insatiable will to demonstrate my conquer to the unconquered.i beat,i frustrate,i swallow bitters yet open my eyes widely.i crawl,i trumble,i laugh at god's guide on me at every corner in the mud.i packed myself like a knife ready in ur hand.i put my sights beyond ur jumping hairs sheltering ur windscreen.u r my pivot,my pioneer.i m ur vehecle.my son in ur womb and my daughter in ur arms.u r my backyard with grape trees shelfing sunshine and olive trees pointing height.i m urs.i m ur husband,ur watch eagle of ur dream in the dark in the night.i m vain.i m the fire warm ur cold clogged limb and the earth build ur pole.u fullfilled me by concrete,entertained me via home and family.my home in heaven and ur home in my heart.u r my heart.u let me see beauty and owning and satisfactory.i owe u. 2006-08-12 14:12:30 benz but i have chance to redeem.u will be entertained by my land,my kingdom,my people and my soul.i m ur king,ur consistant loving king.i embrace u with my late tender,my sutle interest in truth,in beauty,in benevolence.u r my baby,my kid sister my parents didn't give.i can comb ur hairs,massage ur wrest,bite ur eardrops,sing u a song and kiss ur watery lips.i m urs.at ur disposal.i m the band around ur hair,the ointment on ur nail.i m ur king.my people will applaud for the light and lightning u bring to me.on every leaves after rainbow u will see my feast.in every river flowing swift u will wit my plenty.i m ur king.sun rise,sun set,u'll see my routine support to ur need,flower blooms,flower withers,i do my sniff on ur neck.u r mine.u r mine already one thousand years.i m ur master,my lamb,my kid sister,my baby,my heartthrob.my dearest,my sweatest.i looked over the sea floating the boat u drove away,i knew the day u back.i'll be there the port,with my endurance and my bluest eyes 2006-08-12 14:52:11 benz dear,what can soothe my relentless miss for u?all ur beauty was so near,just an elbow's reach.today u still can lend me ur beauty to feed my torn and thirsty sight landscape.but u refused.u thirst for torments u can and only u can exert on my tiny heart.u do,u do,the merciless princess,my master.u do,u do,to extend our longings to a new height of tension.i longing u.i need u.i beg u.i surrender to u.u win. from every girl passed by,i compared with u.for every male i ignored,i beg a retreat.i need u.with union with u,i need nothing to manifest to the world.with unification with u,i challenge god.baby,my kid sister,let me see u,smell u,sense u,touch u,play with u all my skills on earth or on heaven,vocal or mobile,mind or find.u took away so much from me that i bearly support myself.i listened to spontaneous chorus in the trees or near the lake,but only found my chorus with u.i listen to the beijing opera practise in the workers' palace just wondering which stage our honeymoon now set. 2006-08-12 14:56:27 benz i love,my dear.i will care my baby recently full day for my ex-wife now in charge of a graduating class.bye. kiss u again and agins.u r there mine.i love u.
2006-08-13 08:54:59 benz another blssed dawn,dear,u see the sunshine how cordial she is.i approach u via net again just after getting up and uncover the window curtain.i hope the internet caff named xinghai(starsea) where u haunted.i visited u returned from outside likely after surfing the night after i returned to care my baby and a rain poured timely to express my fear that u r to leave.i sat on the watery chair as soon as arrived the dorm yard and wait.2 girls walked away and around and i hope they r my friends to inform u my presence.u lately appeared and walked on the far side to kept distant from me and chatted with one of ur classmates.i felt miserable but also know u r mine.the night was ur last night ur class was summoned and i felt i had to do my presence after ur anger and fluctuation onto me so i kept stroke around ur team.the next day witness my struggle against losing u without a clear bless before u left.i stayed on the chair on the yard or rambled near ur dorm all day so as not to miss any occasion u present.i did. 2006-08-13 09:10:41 benz and u only walked a two ways available for me to catch u.but i don't complain.why i complain,our marriage on a day is inscribed like inscription in rock,why i complain.u like the flower in my garden,why i complain. machine dog hunting,but i m on.why i complain?the day u shown up in front of me clumnsily pretending by accidence when i ran into with ur team and exchanged words with one of ur classmates gave me so many prde and love,why i complain.u had seen me for those days before u shown me ur decision,ur unpaired charm,why i complain?i lived 38 years in the world ,with tumble,with innocence,and u now hug me,lag me,let me enrich my love in the world,why i complain?i saw the clear star in the sunny sky,i see ur moonalike face with word-defying dignity.i love u.i love from the bottom of my heart at the moment when u shown me finally in the sun,with and without umbrella. days after ur leave,i always imagined u didn't directly left by taxi,i see u hide in xinghai net bar to watch me. 2006-08-13 09:54:23 benz watching me follow u in vain to the bus stop and tried to find u in the waiting crowd.i just want to see u away well,as i in fact underconsciously prepared.after found nowhere to find ur leaving,i returned and met some men likely ur leading teachers with a qrrser packed in a taxi leaving and i knew u were the last left.u waited for me.i know,i know u care me,i know u love me.ur fragile voice when u defied my demand secondly to know u,saying u don't want come to qqihar again,i saw the flash in ur eyes who closely peeking me,in a flash i recognized u r testing,u r holding me back.after i felt hurt upon ur reply i felt at a loss with ur coward attitude to my approach,but now i mostly cherished it,for its ur tender in front of me.u show me ur tender and helplessness.i couldn't help holding u forever in my arms firmly,in my chest,in my soul.no one can destroy u,no one can not let us live.i promised u,no one.one one can cover ur eyes searching for me,no one can take aside my finger to ur 2006-08-13 11:02:28 benz eyeslid. a sunny day.a still day.buses whistle,citizen ramble,noise dispersed all over in the room.i know u r reading,my dear.heaven know which mood u r possessed currently.music rightly arise in the air in the bar.baby,could u hear my singing?u saw the day i sat on the bench facing sunset sang alone, for ur classmates test me if u would ask them to play volleyball actively.i didn't.i sang there.then i don't know u.u sheltered urself behind the curtail until ur classmates finished their shows prelude.but i know u,by instinct.for i seemingly never so sincerely performed to play in front of an alien body of collegians.i win u by proactivities but summons u to my front was the marrage once in heaven we had.i can't help wondering sometimes if u can recognized my name occasionally called by the administrator of the
common before u when i followed ur leave, and if u can arrived here by chinaren alumni.but time a time again i told myself u do.baby,i yet don't know ur name,except ur family name,likely.baby, 2006-08-13 11:19:55 benz i search fruitlessly for a empty name of a girl in her grade 2 in nankai unv. when i there prepared my master enterance exam once in a love broken my heart.i don't know why i always like zhubajie in xiyouji(journey to the west) lost in girls' march vanishly trying to clinch up to them by a shaddow of their skirts.but this time i wouldn't miss.god permitted me.i know.u know.our soul permitted.our eyes permitted it.i looked into ur eyes,u first evaded with ur badminton in hand with half back to me and second u informed me on the departing way by worry in ur tone and starry in ur eyes,i have it ur permission open ur heart and locked it after me forever.i know ur permission with ur shy i had the privilege to occupy ur fragrant garden once and forever. baby,machine dog hunting.i m to leave.the day we united the day they failed.i love u.i follow u at every corner of ur road.i m the wind wave ur hair,i m the air refresh u when u sore.i do,i do, u know,u know.i 2006-08-13 14:45:45 benz here i m again,baby,my kid sister.noon sunshine on my back through the curtain on 2nd floor.i hope i didn't trouble u with my more and more words.i did left the caff,i wandered to the trees yard where some aged men chorus 'little alomo' and really entertained me,who still rapt in words for u.i also sat aside the lake, down with the still water surface.but nowhere i can find peace and serenity with the full load of miss for u that can envy any young in season.i tried to fix my hacked to broken pda but only found my mobile disk also being hacked to illworking.i want to see my baby but was told his mother had assignment at the moment.the world seems lead me to u,my speechless beloved.baby,in this sultry afternoon,seemingly every boy has his play and every girl has her candy except me, me,i only has my solitude accompanied for years.u r the string of my fiddle but u let it loose.u let the bird tied his tongue and fear of the commence of dark night.i need u,and i don't think it cost us much. 2006-08-13 15:10:41 benz we r 1.5 hour's train apart.u part me in the false claim and excuse that u dislike qiqihar but they all r in ur kingdom.i don't ask u to stay in qiqihar.ur dislike is my dislike,the only difference is that i think we'd accept it before we change it. 2006-08-13 18:01:49 benz then here i m again,like the story telling the return of king.dark marching near but sunset smiling as well.u see my endeavor.even ur fight out of my sight i know u win.u doomed to see my world,we r ruled to here see our fortune,with our son and daughter,with our people and fertile land.baby,u design urself,u r my design.i love u,from the heel to the hip,from the bottom to the button,from the front to the back.i saw hope in ur eyes,i saw harmony in ur legs.i saw god in ur hand.god guide u left with bags,he also guide u back with bigs.i love u.i never wrote so many to any.i never pray so wholeheart for my owns.u r mine,there and here,wax and wane,no power can disturb our pair,no energy out of our containing.i here not to bubble,i here to pacify.baby,my kid sister,let me know ur worry,and see the day u available stood me aside.honey,let me know ur name,let me put ur hands in my hands,ur heart in my heart.baby,baby,i here lean against u,u r not alone,u need just turn ur head back,i there. 2006-08-14 10:32:37 benz so i have another 4 days to accompany u here as my ex-wife's school changed its opening scheme.male beast around me biting and irritated my settlement but they r just bark upon
wrong trees.bamboo curtain on my right hand wall adding some japanese tone to my mood.i left my son so as not to disturb his dream with my selfmade coarse disturbance,fuss.now that they like chasing,so just let them some wind and some shadow.now that they like licking,let them some bones.the world seemingly more and more smothered by energetic beasts,like their lucky bully and domineering parents showy all among the socail ladder in nowaday china. 2006-08-14 13:12:33 benz then i return,after last posting intercepted and returned to me by eavesdrop just to tease me and also run out time.u tease me,dear.u r so distant from me,dear,i don't know if u like to tease me or treat me fair.i only know the voice saying we r already known when i first time since my life approaching u.that's ur promise to me.that's my best surprise u put in my hands holding together.my dear,my kid sister,u won't disappoint me forever and never.i love u.i treat u like my eyes and u will treat me like palm to back of palm.summer sunshine cast all over the street,made it like a boring nap,a fat cat without mice.but i know spirit moving flickers in ur lower heart,like lust river fluctuate over the tunnel under the desert.however we r enduring,my tumble finger wriggled along the road to u longly,my sight inner in nights toward the eastern not short.no matter how thick u cover ur neck with ur waving hairs,i sniff through;also no matter how vertical ur back opposing me with an arm 2006-08-14 13:41:34 benz leading me, i will hold u tight on my chest with our mouth kissing.u r mine.now and then.here and there. 2006-08-14 17:56:12 benz so i beseat again.a short rain wet my t-shirt and the crisp ground.i felt blessed.i m more and more used to talk to u even when i offline.if there is a better way connecting to u,i won't hesitate a moment to access u,but u let me weave our love on the web so far.baby,baby,i dislike here in a crowd,i dislike being disturbed when i gossipping with u.but u forced me so.a day down with dusk by the drizzle,it can bring me with sorrow in hush.struggle in the sunburn is not fun.so it maybe the cause that not leading u me aside?u may right,but remember,no one can harm u,i tell u now,i tell u,no one can harm u.that's my order in my kingdom.u r mine,enemy can block us yet to find lavatory to be given his dirty birth.yes,that's my say.gambler and thieves all have it.lived with broken head and torn stomach all have it.that's my say.my ordain. 2006-08-14 18:05:16 benz a beast left,but still more come.i fight for ur children,for our family glory,for ur worshiped ancestor.dogs and crabs play its climax before the autumn,but their corpse will under the snow and turns into oil await human offspring to burn.that's my vision.i bless it.the shouting to cry,the batting to crawl.that's my say.i see land innocent,she fed up with robbery and pressing.she emitting.we here collected the land,we r privileged to clean the dirty and plant the beauty,that's we say. yes,god says they r parts of u,but i m not god.i m i m to be,to do,to make.to those like shits,offer him shits; for those like blood,offer him sword;for those like tomb,offer him death.world hold nobody.a hand in steel gloves can do.u can do,i can do.that's all we can do. i love u. 2006-08-15 08:00:46 benz so i sat here again.dawn descend with peace in my awake eyes.i went out and saw the sun,its espacially so mild,so kindling,its just like spring sun after the mid sky.it make u warm and hopeful.i head to here awaiting love spring spill from my heart who is so dogtired for missing u so long.the caff preparing for reservice,so i laid my eyes fixed on the
accountant,who has a enviable round breast under her loveable white shirt.i looked her slim wrest and thick bottom.i felt a little bit liking her.life so tender,i with no cause not to love any way anywhere,with or without ur companion.last night in the dorm,just after i calmed myself down from the ignited fire mood here and exchanged daily bless with my baby and his mother and ready to fetch myself a cup of water,i met the tall girl with her boyfriend,a taller young man with proper poise.i liked her very much.she had helped me a time when i suffered imaginged loss onto my beloved once by her showing me up.its her second showing up in 2006-08-15 08:20:20 benz front of mine and i felt at once god's so kind to me,on happy time and perished.she show her anger of discontented to me,just let me more linked to her.she also had a perfect round standing breast and palmtree-alike legs.she is not so sleeve-tucking,she is just so womanly,cosy and acceptantly.i like her,and sometimes compared her to my grand sister or mother.i don't know if i can find them in u,but i know i m to have it,in u or by u. 2006-08-15 08:26:25 benz i m timed now.i love u as usual.i hope u let me seen u,kissing u,with ur hand in my hand.i just can't live without u. i love u.bye. 2006-08-15 12:32:57 benz so i rewind now.beast stamping around as expected.but i know i doomed to stand last.morning witness my miss for u with choruses here and there.with a bare mind of sorrow i even can't fully appreciate the music.dogs scattered here and there,but i just raptured in my words for u.the chorus in trees sang a song lyrics 'farewell fairwell girl in my dream,tomorrow i will head far away,if i won't return,please ...',i was touched and known u r suffering.but,dear,but, none of us will be part, until the day u beside my bed covering my eyes don't see with ur babies of mine with cries.the day beyond generations can see,but god promised it to us with bless,with joyes and tears,with owning and being,with benevolence.dear,dear,my kid sister,i love u like now my choked throat,like candle in collapsed mine,like blast in seconds. world soaring,i dadle.u let me here suffer.god knows why but i don't know.u know why but i don't believed in urs.we'r an hour's train apart,why not pick it soon?i admitted i always 2006-08-15 12:53:01 benz have no clue toward girls' taste,but u had advantage to fish in.if i m a fish in ur pool,pl let me know ur bait. i love u.kiss u.bye. 2006-08-15 15:21:58 benz so i m set now,now that write here to let u read at any time more interesting than i murmured and lost in mass.it turns cloudy now but there is no differences in my heart.gamers babble around and i tried to find a stance.u,and u,u r a remote sign in my sight on the over sky.i rambled and finally had to be here to wire with u in the weakest sense.u r so faint in the sensible world around me,that i sometimes felt myself miserable.baby,baby,i see limpidly the fate of ur being with me for most of my life,my being ur forever husband,but i don't tell the moment i smell ur hands and hairs with tears.god treats me well but merciless upon my zest for a expedite warmup.u know why u treat me with so many animuses indicated in ur back to my hands out extending,ur mute to my sings to bleeding. 2006-08-15 15:55:47 benz
can u hear,baby?can u hear?i talk to u and decided talk to u till u hear. god bless u.i love u.kiss u with my deepest love. 2006-08-15 18:05:58 benz im set here again.with pains with hopes.with pity with tear in wild joyes.i hear u sing aside my ear in the radio from a disabled smoke vendor's radio set.i saw promise in my pda.i know u,i need u,i bewith u.baby baby,if tears can wash,i can destroy hanghe bank;if tears can salt,i have fed u up older than me so far.girl,my honey,my worn slippers by my endless toddle around ur absence accuse ur cruciality.baby,my girl zhou,any tain has its stops,why my station can't see ur horn? today i bought some pears.i guess the squirrel u know in the yard trees may complains my lost in u.i left it two and ate one myself.if i spent as much time on her as here she will i guess let me hold her on my laptop,at least let me know her name.for what u treat me so immortally indifferent? bright sunset reflects on the glass door i facing.she may doubting why i haunt here while arrived with hope left with missing.no music symphonies my song so far,only shouts of gamers.lonely in miss for u is me.love kiss 2006-08-16 07:58:57 benz now music dancing.u belong to me.i got up too early but felt too late.i waited here for an hour and felt lounged in the train station with noise and boring as its feature.clouds cover most of the sky from eastern to western,leaving a hole in the mid sky,like my dry mouth yelling for ur milk.it had not been warm enough to let u pleased.autumn in the corner around a stop sniping and then killing winter lands like air force with freshest impetus.i dreamed in the dawn.but my vividest dream is u,ur being with me,being my wife with me.there is a painting aforetop on the wall coloring wines and cocktails,its just like ours ahead,full of deluxe and complacence.u r my wine,years brewed,years stored cool in floral valley.i m ur bear,drunk bear.the caff is now quiet,with only half used,with some social persons gossip there.many wellbeings grant the open space theirs,now that they can used it now freely.i here also being felt benefited,even i paid.many thing in china with so felt safeguards turns 2006-08-16 08:32:58 benz out to like this,with top down. so i was set forth now.ripple waving and forth and backward in the pool.there is nothing sepcial.there is no specail in our reunification,too.but u r specail,u r so weak,so dewy,ur world wheel still like a roll of kid.u beforth with option. bye,i love u.kiss u. 2006-08-16 12:18:58 benz so i be here again,in ur hands,in ur eyes,in ur faith.the sun now turns surprisingly bright.we'll had a good time from now.how i miss here when i offline,even with faintest link with u here.i breaded and salted now but don't know if u hunger for me.the cafe now crammed,rambles here and there.i trying to find myself a stance.days and evenings glides between us without any droplet of accord.god,i in the name of god,don't know why u treat me so coldblooded.ice caps melting all over the world except urs built on my volcano of admires for u.miss like mist darken and wet my heart.bugs and flies stain the cafe and roads.u know why i had to seek u with answer known here on the web.if u can see,u can't seen my drained appeals,if u can hear,u can't heard my burnout cries.god knows why but i don't know,u know why but i don't belived in ur why.my most loved summer fading,my best loved girl rating.yellow leave to drip,wild wind to blow,my girl disappeared in a blink still sip the wine of my loving letters. 2006-08-16 12:48:52 benz
snow to shelf our house,spring rain to melt our well,my girl, zhou,still prepare her dowry for her bear with her nail. bye.kiss u. 2006-08-16 17:58:08 benz so i be here.likely spying phenomenon bankrupted my enthusiasm.a day ahead to acompany u here in a foreseeable short period.i don't know where my talk to u lead to,but i felt my talk likely threatened. however,i had a good time this afternoon with beijing opera.chinese traditional vocabulary talked to me and i got a glimpse within my preset.i wondering ur parents,and i know i won u.tonight likely a peaceful and harvest night.i hope i can recall interview with u in dream after wake up.dorm is not usually a fun place.i more or less was used to living with family,a family of u within.sky is so blue when i came here and the sun so bright in the cloud sea,like an emperor in chinese traditional pattern looking over the earth of his kingdom.i felt she really diligent,and stern. i really distract by the likely hacking.so,i say bye in advance.i love u.i kiss u with my all warmth i gather under sun today.god helps me have u. 2006-08-17 09:02:56 benz so i here again.hacking let me review.but nothing need ur close attention.dogs union and islamic terror,all shits eater, bark upon u, but they r kept at bark,just like their lazy fat wives' doggie.god's bless shrines our family and our land,like sitting in the core of typhoon.i love u. this morning i got up late.i dreamd of zhangqing,whose first name same of the last name of the city u now in,whom i alumnused in high middle school and university.she led my farewell to my girlfriend in unv. nankai and one of my best friend in college,qiuxiaolin,a tall thin man with mild temper, in and enlighten the rest time of my college with pleasure in poem and painting otherwise would bore me into tears.i love u.and i know i destinied to have u,to be compensated to be reward.to be succeeded step by step and to be echoed of god's glory and smiles.i dreamed of she danceing,like her dance she performanced in nankai unv.'s student culture festival. so i was set forth again,here and till.mild wind shakes 2006-08-17 09:49:49 benz hair on my forehead and music unbearable blue and beautiful.u hiss near my ear with ur mindless tease.god,in the name of god and for the sake of god,god knows why i can only summon with a part name and distill with a few memories.i heard ur sound of vioce saying we r known,but i yet to know the weight of ur body,the height of ur chest,the unit of ur love,and measure of ur foolish demand of my being on the kneel.i don't know ur perfume,i don't know ur kiss strongth,i don't know the dimension between two of ur legs.i also don't know why u don't tell the blue deepth of ur sorrow for me in ur mute.dark dear,my dear in dark,i guarranty u good time from now on,startles and surprise will just like biscuit scattered in the bugged road.faint music whirlpools in ambiance.bugs and flies busy.overnight rotten smell smells in the half empty cafe.day shines outside of the glass door i facing.leaves reflecting,and herds.i know u heard.today i join a class of industial design 03-1 of daqing petro 2006-08-17 10:15:05 benz baby,my kid sister,my girl zhou,sky sheltered us both,why not let us approach to each other closer in the missing world?river flew from here i m to ur side with tears of mine in it why not sent a paper boat carrying ur message of ur heart breaking for me to me looking forward?winds may helping even in opposing direction. why not let ur heart just trust to the world?my world in ur hand but u just toss it aside,my fate in ur faith but u just giggle like itching.apple in eyes of mine,milk in drough mouth and honey can cure,my dear my
girl,come,and come to me.took my voyage to the wonder. kiss u.i love u forever. 2006-08-17 14:00:03 benz so i was band onto the seat.i just made some minor mends to my wording,then found a little girl beside me i had thought her a boy.i love u like i love the girl in a moment.god blessing. baby,another sunny day.few clouds with pure white floating around the center part of the sky.i gazed at the sun till i found its circle,its zhou.the girl arouse me,even i still in doubt if wholely from her.buggy here and there,embarrassingly crawling on skin.yes,now i know my liking poured to her,for i exchanged some words with her.its likely a trap but doesn't matter.i bewith the girl. sometimes dogs harrass but they r harmful by their abilty to hurt.they just emotionally exert terror with their seemed penetrating dog eyes but in fact they r shortsighted.they can not be not shortsighted for their appetite,their comprehension.what they interested is inchangeable foul,foul and foul.let it scent well,it well so troubled with burden of scents that it had to see animal doctors more and more nowaday.let it be. 2006-08-17 14:22:23 benz let it be and let none of scent of it it desperate to left in ur mind.that's all. god warrant everyone is unique.but missing thing,like dog person, tried to peek others to compensate his emptiness.just let it be.never mind they a second,like u don't mind flies and bugs. baby,i likely timed out this time.i tell u in the end i heard ur singing from the radio saying u will live happy with my love.that's my best news.i love u.kiss u with my freshest beat from my heart. 2006-08-17 17:51:40 benz u sing in the radio u r selfish on my love and demand all of mine,that's right.love definitively the selfishest emotion of human relation,except god's love.i also demand u fully,with ur best and ur lest. i now sat near the back door of the cafe,ready to exit.i flirted with neighbor girl to shift illwill around exerted on me.i hope i can return here after i take full day care of my baby daily but i can't assert. the cafe had start to plot against me.i kicked 2 times within this post.maybe my song toward swan's ending song.maybe my dance toward phoenix's burning to rebirth.love planted in our heart,chorus echoed in our soul,gathering scheduled in our pledge.i love u.kiss u with promise of our union,our remeet. 2006-08-20 17:42:57 benz i sat here in a sunny after rain sunset.my son's mother was rid of the charging seat to her class so i had time in afternoon.the cafe likely can't bring more pleasure to me.i had nothing to reiterate,except to let u know i suffer miss for u just like u.my son and his mother besieged by illwilled neighbors and i had to hold my son in arms outside to let him sleep in open air.live without house seemingly my fate to overcome.depressed lust sometimes let me smothered and desperate to miss u. i need u,baby.my son bring happies any time when i caught sight of him but my desire for u is totally different.i sensed u visited me on last friday.in the night i woke up by ur compete with my baby son.i had nothing to say on this until the day u breed our children. baby,i love u.if i spent time in idle,don't complain my not accompany u here.i m with u any moment any occasion.let u speed up to decide the moment u lent me ur hand.i love u.kiss u with my sweatest dream beholding u. 2006-08-27 17:24:59 benz
so i be here again.i saw dawn pushing his way on bed outside the curtain after woke up by the pains u put another miniature last afternoon playing badminton and another girl breeding a rabbit,both ignited my sore temptation to chase after them like without memories after u ,and temp to miss u and hold u.i got up at 5 o'clock and wandered around the front part of qrrs but only collected cold.i then put myself on bed wondering till lost consciousness.that cured more or less my painful and stuffed brain and body.i waited and waited for my charging pda to be ok even i had started to murmur to u. these days all sunshined in qiqihar.but gay and gray,thief and stiff pested me and my beloved.i enjoyed staying with my son,even that means paddling 5 hours or so outside without any eyecatchings,on contrast,limpets here and there. 2006-08-27 17:29:24 benz last post was my first time i left without exchange of farewell.i felt need surf my oldtime passion tlf forum to recede my pains.so its likely u r part of mine from now,part of my mind and part of my inner.i laid myself on bed all the afternoon,with a stuffed brain and pains torn heart.my mind stopped 2 or 3 times and soon woke up again.but only found inevitable pains.with mountain mounted miss in my heart,i speechless,motionless.pains in my hearts as well as in my body,i know,just like ur eyes burn by tears.i always know u r suffering when i found my suffering.without u i m like the garden lack of an eyes,with u i like the dragonfly seeding the flower.without u i m like the water mill worn by invading of sands into its cog,with u,i like the fresh water gathered and lifted to a new height and runing singingly to its new feeding,its new drought land.without u my life like a aged song fading its rhythm,without u my landscape losing its interest center,like a twist mirror covered by dust 2006-08-26 18:14:56 benz and laughed pointlessly and soundlessly to the mirrored vainness.without u my life proceeded like a roll losing its hand,without u my heart always begging and ramming into hard cold dark. baby,baby,my kid,let me know if u r ready for me.baby,baby,my kid,let me know if ur head near my ear. love u forever 2006-08-28 18:07:56 benz i m here again,looking the road u left.machine dog and other spy eyes aimed at my pda and hard reset it countless times.last night i had a longest and most detailed dream in which i met my kid time folk friend,happened in weihai unv. and saw all collegians busy building marine robot.i seemed very enjoyed the dream and happy upon wake up.and i also had a nice day with my baby son outside in the morning.yesterday i beat him for he felt suffer loss when i run out of money to buy him drinks and food other dubious persons bought showily in front of him and demanded them unbendablely.we later reconciled after i persuaded him with preach and he surprised me with a buzz in after our daily bless in late evening and hummed to answer me without precedings.his mother and me both felt glorified. however,loomingly ahead is that they to proceed to bet on poison,which just let god to laugh louder.they doomed to fail after all,after desperate to break my pda to free me once and forever.i m with no 2006-08-28 18:12:29 benz haste to see all plays out. standing sun surrounded by unclear mist now,but it still shines.and whats best he still fried all green things on earth.in the coming winter they can dominate the dorm to hack my pda as long as i use it,now that the chill likely will hamper my staying outside to read on it.they almost see their end and almost lose their temper and pretender,which almost let god see his laughter. baby,i can call it a day now.i heard u sang in the radio a day that we need to embrace every
coming day with high,i do my best to apply it.hope u practise it,too.time hold no brief for anybody,we just need to see through and stand firmly to last.every golden sunset now is our promised poise through cloudy winter to next prime time. i love u.kiss u.kiss u with the brightest star from the most distant dark sky on my tongue.kiss u with my whole heart. 2006-08-31 18:36:13 benz so its a day now.sunset redden the sky.i just returned from my baby son and finished dinner.i in a rush to here but without any message in mind to utter.its a nice day,even dark in the morning,for i had been hacked by pretender in the dorm via mind monitoring.but god let me just let it go and beam as usual.my baby slept in my arms in the morning and in the afternoon.in afternoon we were in sports yard where his mother's school boy of first year undergoing army train.with enjoyable companion of soldiers i felt easy and indeed safeguarded with ease my baby's sweat dream till his mother return from work woke him up.i even treat myself in the name of my baby a bottle of beer within a mean budget for meals. i had nothing to complain about today even a bit dogtired for rambled outside for 8 hours with barely any stops to rest awhile.my baby also didn't bankrupt my budget for his drinks and snacks outside. i miss u,baby,some couples shown intimacy beside us on swing just remind me the fact 2006-09-01 10:59:39 benz some human being enjoyed lover without deep loving while i deeply loving u but without ur companion right at hand.it also remind me i had a lot to do to keep our love timelessly fresh and acute. today my son's mother told me we all just got our new id card and ready to file divorce.i think it will be done within weeks.she also arranged her relative to care our baby son so as not to let me care my son late to 8:30 pm in this semester/term till her night lesson over.i will see my baby 2 or 3 times in daytime a week.i likely will spend more time with u here,even i desperate want to see and believe u rather than just being wired.i know u had ur timetable,but i want u to touch my skull and lips,like i kiss my baby insatiablely. i love u.kiss u again and again. 2006-08-29 18:31:09 benz so i m here baby.a day passed with no fault.my son slept in my arms each an hour in the morning and afternoon outside.we ate a lot of ice sticks as usual.in the afternoon he again demanded drink in addition and cried upon rebuff but soon slept.his mother let me free tomorrow and will call me to prepare working environment basing on my collection of 0day's warez(an international pirate softwares release org) on her first notebook assisted by her school if its dispatched to her.i also felt glad for her.she admired it for quite some time and distant from pc for a rather long time since i always occupied our pc when we under same roof.i always spare no efforts to persuade anyone i met enjoys computer and digital gadget. dear,i m now of peace and complacance.there several girls around me in the cafe and i immersed in sunshine enough in daytime to felt warm now.the only pity no doubt was of ur absence from me.last night i had a long dream in which i met my college alumni then sheered away to 2006-08-29 18:53:37 benz visit the enterprise of zhangruimin,hair's founder,finding feat and fake.the pretender monitored me mindly in the night and dawn,till my son's mother alarmed me to leave.i really of no complain except the loss i suffered that u took away,ur beautiful mind and perfume body.ur glamor and ur calm. i recently bought myself some jujube to remind myself my forever searching for u till i got u.u r doomed mine.in the end of time and on the seashore beyond the most distant sea,in
the heaven and on the deserted earth i find u, and pick u. i love u.kiss u. 2006-08-30 17:53:18 benz so its another day now.last night i slept lately to defend my son from his mother's dubious relative,the elder sister of her mother,once came to care her when our baby in a month to the world.i know my baby son untouched all over the world in which evil brewing,but i do what i liked to do for him.i drank a bottle of beer and found a large crowd in the dorm boiling upon my delayed sleep.mind hacking continued till late afternoon when i napped on bed. now i had a home at myspace with url www.myspace.com/benzillar .hope a day i can enjoy it.this morning i brought some pc magzines from qrrs libary to kill the time. after all i can still call it a nice day.even my son's mother didn't fetch her new notebook as intended,her school said it need to be refined in advance but just let me doubting the hacking hand from machine dog,as happened a lot of times on our pc. bye.i setup my blog in chinaren.i love u.see u next time.kiss u with my tears in dreams 2006-08-31 18:50:21 benz another day downing with rosy sky.i couldn't be more happier.i holding my baby son slept in arms half an hour in morning and almost 2 hours in afternoon.right in afternoon when he slept in my arms i understand i can adopt skill of zen to abate bubbles from unwelcome wishes from adversity:settled/stillness.settled urself will settled ur beloved resulting in enhencing his/her concentration to warrant him/her win in adversity ,and the world outside settled in ur blink.i did it among a crowd as usual furiously aim at my slept baby.they let him irritated one or two times but didn't woke him up.last night when i struggled with mind hacking in the dorm then gradually i fell into serenity in which i missed u solely.i then sensed ur presence haunting outside my door and i called forth ur figure im familiar and had some emotional exchanges with u without fear of being peered.i woke up at 7:00 and saw the bright sun first time recently.on dinner,i m so glad that i treated myself a bottle of beer 2006-09-01 09:23:03 benz so its a new morning now.i had a nice night with world settled in my body breathing within god's body,after i settled my mind and the ambiance,let every dust still in air and every moment at present.i love u,baby,god let u sang 'TITANIC's 'my heart will go on'and other love songs in my radio i refurnished after years ditched and i m so touched.if there is a sense called love,i sensed it with craving;if there is a feeling in the name of miss,i miss u with ur every images left in my beings with no miss.baby,baby,my kid,drizzle last night was my tears for the pleasure u gave then took away,cloudy morning this time hints u put on more my cares against cold and indifference.baby,my kid sister,if there is a way leading light,god prepared it for us;if there r messages that save,i murmured thousands times in ur careless dreams.baby,my dear,if there is only a word for love,we say give;if there is only a flower in garden combing the love u hold for me under her bloosm,its bee is me.kiss u. 2006-09-01 11:47:11 benz baby,i decided to shift my searching letter for u to my blog at chinaren and mypace.com without ur concent.its ur privilege but i think we have more ahead.for alumni seemingly less irrelevant with our love. my blog at sohu: http://benzillar.blog.sohu.com/ my blog at myspace: http://blog.myspace.com/benzillar my home at myspace: http://www.myspace.com/benzillar .where u can talked to me or left me comments. 1:08 PM
Friday, September 01, 2006 a busy day with sorting and shifting old posts. a dismal day without dark outcome.i shifted alumni posts to blogs,at a price of 3 hours and 3 renminbi or more,and made some customization to these blogs.in the afternoon the radio elaborated on trust and i felt the migration was trusted by u.on bed listening to the music radio i sometimes felt choking throat.but i felt settled now.the world seems now opener for me with easy access to other bloggers,even under present situation i likely unable to skim theirs.u also seems closer to me,with easy access to comment on my blogs without letting me know ur real name,or even chat with me.i desperate for communicating with u.winter around the corner,jammed dorm can be more unpleasant.i don't know how u deal with miss for me and jackass around u,but each time i felt worry about u i consoled myself u r just right beautiful and precious and dewy as i dreamed.the limpid to be limpid,the dirty to be dirty,the harsh to be harsh,all under god's watching.i deserved u,perfect as i can imaging,u deserved me,dauntless to face any beauties or virtues. i m to leave.tomorrow i believe to be a sunny day.at one pm just after i finished migrating post in chinaren alumni to blogs and returned to dorm i ate the last jujube. i felt its not a bad runout,and a new start.tomorrow i will go to see my baby son.rolling world gathers no mercy for broken hearts.i lived with a stuffed closet for u,burden made me strong,and indifferent. kiss u.i love u. 6:31 PM Sunday, September 03, 2006 it turned out to be cloudy. i was left half an hour now after customise.still i hope i can talk to u.this afternoon i entrenched myself on bed listening music radio but still ill wishes from neighbor rooms in the dorm creeping on my skin.i had to trenched them with the radio and my tools.later i hear u sang, after rain and storm u will accompany me hand in hand forever,like rainbow shines after storm,i released and switched it off and to dine.now i m here aside ur ear,hope u can hear. baby,i m to time out.kiss u.i love u as usual.i heared a lot of love songs in the afternoon,some complain,some applaud,but i stand unyieldingly to have u,nothing can break my will to get u.moon light every night cares ur dream in my deep glare. now the second hour after exchanged daily bless with my baby.evening put the dorm in dark,weekends led its end.a bustle and hustle working day ahead.tonight might be a war field near my bed but im in ur bless,and god's.these days i permeated in the talk to u and bugs likely summoned.i m of no trouble to lead it its due way.bugs even biting here, but they just dirty the air. tonight,tonight will be stary.for all bugs and flies,the killing commencing.winter had drove them sheltered in the warm room,but them doomed to die.the only trash they brought is that we had to clean the floor to rid their stiffs. tonight,tonight will be a peaceful night.autumn reaps our love,our passion.we r timed to relief,to wine. kiss u.love u like the star above our head sky,with his light messenger without pause arriving our land,with patience with care. bye.my dearest. 6:36 PM
sunny afternoon baby,so im here.i made some amendments to my wording then half an hour passed.in the room listening music after last post i just want to talk to u more,and that let me reckon my budget.i'd better balanced budget among my baby son,u and my own to avoid deficit,but coming cold season likely buffers the running demands among my life through reduces on my baby son's drink outside. i seemingly had no urgence to utter.after all i m being with u.u touched me via flickering sunshine and periodical shaddow through my window.that's ur changing mood in my gaze.i love u.kiss u a thousand times and a more time. 1:16 PM a wet morning so baby im here and hear.last night i return with sore all over my bady and in daily bless with my son's mother i guessed maybe i was hurt by surrounding in the cafe and complained but later when i listening to the radio,the lingering sore in bady and mind let me recognize that u r sobbing.u know i ran out of words to express my loneliness and miss for u in the last post,but u still touched.baby,i can word to let u feel my love but i can't award myself ur heart right now in ur vow; i also unable aboard to find u at moment,mopping ur tears and hopping u to our home.god let me here pile letters every day to lift me to reach u. last night's drizzle let some shallow pools on the concrete ground.its just our overnight tears of missing.last night i first time put on winter quilt,switched from thin towel quilt,let me restlessly awhile for hot,but i fell into sleep in unparallel short time.barks maybe rampant but thats all out of my dream. bye,baby,my kid sister.summer rain day always let me happy and poetic but autumn rain day just let me sobering and sorry.i may hurt u but u know i did it mindless.love made me mindless.as the proverb saying, love empties brain,brain empties love.i had to fetch u,like i fetch my always cryings for u.kiss u,i love u.near and far. 10:14 AM nice day again. so god prefer my forecast to the radio weather forecast(saying last night cloudy in qiqihar today) and let it sunny today.i love it.my baby son got up at 5 o'clock and let her mother holding him outside to buy breakfast,likely irritated by the old woman of his mother's relative.we played in the waiting room for his mother allowed to leave home after 9 am and had a good time.he later slept and slept for 2 hours till 11 am.i guard his dream with close eyes but awake aside him on bed.as soon as he woke up i held him outside to wait his mother leaving her school,and on the road we ate fried crab meat. it can't be more nice.at dinner in dorm canteen,4 or 5 tall girls all with enviable figure shown up and really let me licking.in these days qrrs,the workplace i was employed, seemingly held its annual autumn sports contest,and large colorful floats had been prepared in open air in the square for days.all seems bright superficially. baby,last night u sang in the radio demanding me being braver,so i made a declare in ur alumni in chinaren.com at http://alumni.chinaren.com/class/ class_index.jsp?classuuid=2817034545008715989 .i hope that's ur alumni.none daunts me except u. today likely the second day of the new semester of u.i m listening the music from the first visiting bogger to my blog at sohu.com,whose blog at http://caohaizi.blog.sohu.com/ .its title is 'had to love'. i hope i here can add some love to let u high.
baby,its my second time here within 2 hours.i scheduled to spend an hour a busy day but had to add another hour to finished this blog after first hour timed out and returned to dorm.i m likely pinched in words tonight.the only phrase i needn't concoct is my forever love,and the desire holding ur hands immediately.today i first time go to bathroom in summer.and every women seemed let me ignited.i search u in every women i sighted but only blured ur image in my heart and sharpen my miss for u,for i know ur the best in the world in my world.i hold u dear,baby,hope u endear me,too. bye.kiss u.i love u like the moon light on ur desk in ur dorm through the window through the night.kiss u with my fatigue and sweater. 8:07 PM Tuesday, September 05, 2006 sunny noon. i just skimmed all visiting blogs shown on my blog and add one to my favorite.noon sunshine stings skin but let me soothed.in the morning after post,i laid my own on bed and felt cold.running mind wanders in force field of bugs and my gravity.3 hours passed without music in silence.god knows what i can't betray and whom i can't not to pray for.my blog led its first comment and how i wish its urs,how i hope its u teasing me.i prayed in stiff poise too long and only u can relief me.i kneeled too docile in the fate of ur choice and only u can settle me.ur faint voice like silver bell ring in the farest wind above city forest made me too hard to follow,ur once warm left on my body and soul under the thickening ashes after days and nights burning of my cries for u risk buried. dear, could i speak i would alarm u every dawn my presence above ur pillow, could i draw i would rebuild u from scratch for a shortcut onto ur door in dream in wet warm night. bye.dear,kiss u.love u in my heart and in my oath. 1:17 PM a sunny morning after disturbances in the forenight so i was left less then half an hour after finding problematic server of sohu's blog system,and a dubious reboot the pc in the cafe.last night i felt hard to sleep,first against bugs in the dorm,then it suddenly came to me if u r missing me and desire me.i then sensed ur restlessness,ur piteous taking with no giving,ur liking me with no loving me.deep night star pity ur trouble with silence.but all of us know u had to offer urself to me for the biggest pleasure u will enroll.all world see the theorem except u,except u blinded by ur love in fact in deep in guise for me. bye.i love u.kiss u with the rising sun. 9:04 AM sunny day even autumn sunshine limp | so its a busy day with my baby on the road.he slept in the cool morning along the busy car track in my arms till a too loud speaker of a newly opened wedding photo company woke him up.we ate icecream and fried jerk till his mother returned with her new notebook of brand benq.at home we busy playing with the notebook and my baby couldn't let him being set aside and also busy padding on it till his mother felt can't afford.in the afternoon he soon slept after crying for his mother's departure and the sunshine at noon also let me doze,but in fact we were surrounded by hunting people,mostly aged,they let my baby
irritated several times but i just let it go.their power windblown after fired.thats all bugs can do. so now i m here after a beered dinner.red sun still hanging on the western sky,indicating autumn can be shared even short.and last night was a waveless night.i dreamed of one of my sons,or my kid brother went to mental disease asylum to visit me but themselves trapped and supervised.then seemingly all my college alumni supervised in the asylum where a doctor directing us or them breaking lots of furnitures into pieces to migrate to a new place,a new asylum.i seeming just a side watcher in it.after woke up i found my curtains leaking light outside in the mid,and after curbbed the curtains,i found a limpid sunny morning.and i at once headed for my baby. so its dusk now.beat and rhythm launched now.its a fast pace rhythm.bugs around me were replaced by 2 girls facing me.i was of no harsh.now its a love song,touching as ur smiles and tears,roaming as ur perfume and the flash in ur eyes. bye.kiss u.i love u.in dream and in sunshine. now another hour now that so nice a day and words for u lingering in my mind.night cafe like a play place with all gamers' babbles,except me,except my sincerity to talk to u in the aim to win u stood me aside earlier.ur college life will gliding like still water,but deep running is ur tumbling undecided will on how u to treat me.my crying for u like a well known legend in ur common sense but it times woke u up in the deep night.i mean it,u more and more mean it.we can't mingle it with any stories or laughters.my assertion on our marriage looming like a mirage under the sky,like a relic unearthed.u tried to tease around among ur classmates,ur casual qq friends but u just can't find pleasure in them as usual.then u found u r doomed mine,mine as ur inevitable destiny.ur fate castled in my love,ur life cascaded in me the royal.u r one of the royal.my kingdom requisitioned under ur blink,my land spreaded below ur wind.we,my kingdom and me,the king,right in the wait for u. bye.dearest.kiss u with the longest breath in the dawn.i love u,like the dew to the summer night sky. 7:03 PM Wednesday, September 06, 2006 a fault free sunny morning with periodical breezee. so i with u after breakfast.clear and warm autumn morning light charged me a lot.last night i easily fell into sleep.and i dreamed.i dreamed i almost missed the grand college entrance exam by my malicious cousin's helping hand and let my parents in a fuss.but we,me and a folk companion,finally arrived before the last minute limit.zhou,the deputy party secretary of qrrs and another cadre came to our home to let me write down what i answered on the exam papers.when i woke up,its six o'clock and i returned to quilt after urined till 7:10. baby,later after leaving here i will head for my baby son.hope u a wonderful day.last night thoughts of mingy hearts flash into my mind blamed that i m cheating u.and i review my behavior and really likes playing trick.but god always economic to the use of his superpower.great love great achivement involve great risk.i fenced against the exertion of dog's penetrating then i soon slept. bye.baby,my kid sister,i love u.kiss u with the perfume of nipped summer flower. 9:24 AM
a full sunny day its almost a day now.round sunset especially large.in the afternoon after posting i sat on the bench on which i received ur arrival for an hour motionlessly.i still felt exhausted now after on bed for an hour listening music and dined.then i spent an hour in addition to add music box to homepage of my blog.its the only place i can feel near u,felt near the straw to save me from drain of miss for u.burning head like a blank bamboo basket holding no water from ur splash once in my pool.now im listening my selected song,'moonlight in city', of xumeijing which sounds in my folk tongue like water beautifully still.she touched me,and i hope she also touch u.that compensate my work in the afternoon. im now likely surrounded by bugs and distracted.im now on the second floor of the cafe,starsea internet cafe,peaceful dusk outside the window really placating.i m in a loss in the folk song i selected as the first song of my blog homepage.misery shaded in nowaday modern city life but they just lingering in hearts that sensitive.however,i lived fed and lounged and pains u brought me brought me baptism of fire and blood-soaked kinship.i love u.im in misery of ur setting but i still live with love,with love for u,for ur coldblooding under discipline and might premature stub of stubborn. bye.kiss u.i love u.kiss u with honey among my teeth to soften ur hard heart. an additional hour killed skimming visiting blogers.how i hope i can find u in them. 6:34 PM a busy day indoor preparing working environment on my son's mother's notebook my son's mother took part in a banquet held by her colleague and i felt better stayed to accompany my son for he seemingly very dislike his mother's relative caring him now.peaceful but lively evening benight the familiar mall and soft feelings float in my heart.no matter how alien im here,i met u here and what's in point i talked to u here so lengthy and so steamy.in a sense i had been talking to the moon in pool in night so costing so impassioned.i do it,i like it,and i m to reap it. instable cafe administrative system alarmed me and shut down in a second and let me lose all my wordings.so here another hour. i seemingly had not too much to say.i broke my neck to look forward ur comment but in vain.i scanned all visiting blogger's galleries,but assured none in pictures similar to ur image in my heart.maybe u in face to face deface urs in shot,then i think i can only wait ur knock on my door.i had to obey ur timetable.for god let me older and eagerer. baby,i likely run out of words.daily murmur made me dull.but thats only way i can occupy u right now. bye.kiss u.i love u. 9:05 PM Thursday, September 07, 2006 turning out to be gloomy but now shining. sorting music box. needless to complain about my blunt brain in the morning and afternoon after posting here and on bed in dorm,ur bland mute had let any complains meanless.the sunset sick in the red clouds,that's my sick pink cheek.i rush to here in pulse,linger here in gush,leave here in
fuss,dumped in dorm in lush,god guide me through and seeing u,i vow in faith. bye.kiss u.i love u like my beer. 6:39 PM son still bright just busy browsing visiting bloggers.bring me fresh warm wealth but without ur message let me distant in tunnel. an hour idled browsing.im fading into mute,murmured hoarsely to inaudible.bye.kiss u.i love u. 1:22 PM again sunny last night i dreamed liu,the former chairman of the directorate of qrrs,in a meeting talking his bribery in the form of literature.i got up at 6:55. morning sun mild and milky.last night after return to dorm after 9 pm,i drank a bottle of beer to soothe my lonliness.still dry air in my room listening my heart beat and every bite my miss for u in my mind. dear,these days where have been?i check up any scent u can left in my blog but in vain.where i can find u,my girl? bye.kiss u with pains in wound in salt.i love u. 9:17 AM Saturday, September 09, 2006 cloudy morning but now shining. today is maozedong's memorial day.i spent all morning left on bed,half time listening music radio,half time in silence.love songs continued encouraging me to believe in ur love onto me but i just can't assure.maybe i just worn,worn by ur tighten mouth,ur economics on ur offers to me the hunger.i sat now again in begging,begging ur shoestring left on the wane seashore in shoing the goose.i sat in a swarm of youngsters but i m afraid i m not young enough to be in apprentise foever without a foreseeable outlet. bye.i'd better reply comments in my blog.kiss u.love u. another hour passed browsing.last night my son's mother told me he cried a long time after i left.when i talked to him at about 8:30 pm he acquainted me by hum.i love him so much. bye. here is the stamp of my presence in evening.refusal response upon my first attempt to blond let me sorry,what's more she is really really beautiful and so attractive for me.god says love needs every day breeding but thirst let me indecisive now.what's im sure is that i long females,to rid lonliness or save long depressed dream.i also sure god's guide along my road toward my responsibility to attest my being, as his son,as his soldier,as plain truth. bye.kiss u with sand on my lips from outside.i love u,no more no less.
11:58 AM suuny morning returned limp sunny morning returned to rescue me from dirty.last night i fought against bugs a long time in dark then like last time i fell into sole miss for u,i sank into serenity to recognized the daughter of a grocer near my son's mother's school where i with my baby son haunted and ate ice stick there,with whom i teased a lot.that let me doubting if we r simultaneously miss each other that save me from being bited by bugs via its superior power of love to the disgusting dirty of bugs' ,or she received all bitings instead of me.i chose the former if i can choose.i got up at 7:07.and i still remembered the dream in which my working place holding a ceremony offering treat but i found no place to ate and toddled with bare feet among departments.that let me doubting if my supply was threaten by the company disputed with me. bye,dear,kiss u.i love u as usual. 9:25 AM blue rainy day. barks last night let me restless.a neighbor guy even struck the wall two times to protest my radio but his real aim i think is to exert his brutality in my mind.when i got up at 7:05 i found my neck froze and had problem to turn around.near the door of the common a guy kicked forcily the door but i right mopping my eyes on stand and avoid being knock on nose. i had a nice day with my baby son,even his cry upon my leave let me sorry.his mother first time offered night lesson and had to stay in school till 8:30 pm.i left at 5:00 pm and left my baby to the old woman he very disliked.we haunted the street in residential area when it drizzling.he let me bought 4 bottles of drink and spoilt 2 in the rain for fun but in fact to wash dirty wills from the crowd.his mother let him sleep soon after lunch and i sort her notebook aside him but he soon woke up.i gave up notebook and holding him in arms to let him continue his sleep.he again woke and turned agile after i attempt to continue works on notebook while he sleeping.my baby now very active to show his dependence on me and nothing can compare to the result of his love for his dad,me,in my heart.i think parents' love to their baby indifferent dad or mother,but the creator's love assimilating to god's.i kiss my baby without reservations and always relief by god's care for him.i love my baby so deep,not only for our kin but also his own cute,his incomparable charm,his duty shouldering our family glory and dream.nothing can square out my baby's gravity in my heart. after dinner,i intended to buzz my baby to let him know my presence around him even im absent,but a girl made use of the only phone in the dorm and i settled with my baby's fate,his being blessed from god,and headed here. baby,my kid sister,these days r hard time for me.i suffered wagging and fluctuation in our love and our marriage in view.i know u need freedom to let ur will enjoy its decisiveness,i know even i felt hard to endure loneliness and attempting to date with blonds in myspace.com after exhausting disclosure of my miss here,ur more prone to carouse in datings and tender feelings with casual friends in cyberspace.we r all free.if there is a law,its our selfishest longing for appealing soul,if there is a fate,that's life's burden to fullfill her missings.u left me without a cue till today,i clinged to my lost without a regret forever.that's the start of a ordinary story we r in or not.day in and day out,i guard here in search of ur message,my lips can burnout for thirsty for u,but my eyeslid can never weighted by the dim and remote of ur trace.a heart can love,a heart of young.just set out ur sail with ur compass.ur wind favors me inward and the port is my hug.
bye.kiss u.i love u,like firefly love stary night.kiss u in the wind bring ur hairs jumped and mist on ur lips fresh. thx god. 7:51 PM Sunday, September 10, 2006 cloudy morning including flicering sunshine so its a new dawn.its teacher's day and the miserable memery of us people.i woke up and when i looked at clock its 5:55 am.i got up at 6:58.after breakfast when i used my pda found had to restore it from hard reset after being hacked to dead.i stood outside the cafe and restored it and back up but when i moved backup to a usual write lock sd card against hacking my temporarily writable sd card again wrecked. last night i listened to music radio on bed after warmed the cleft on the heels of my drought feet in hot water and applied ointment,a song of theme of parents' love and piety moving me,and i know i love u like my baby,i love u with all my tenderness to my baby except i want u communicate with me,with ur naughty and blunt pendency on the love between us.with my baby son i settled to let him will what he will to,without my mind eyes' notice but with my full heart that knows and supports him whatever he will to do.with u i wouldn't let u cruise too far from me and i need u guarding me in dark in unarmed.i also jealous toward ur any pleasure without me,even u always extend ur territory independently.baby,my kid sister,u live stronger now and i want to make use of u,make love with u.u know how lonely i was in fact; u know how i love my kingdom like my family,u know how i love u in my blood,u know how far a time past since i united with all my being as a whole with u inside, with the grand unutterable pleasure of being kin with god.i just need u to recall who i m and let me care my own via caring u. bye.kiss u.i love u like the star's cool and lasting glimpse.i also will not hesitate to chase after the blond after all.bless me with ur goodness.kiss u with tears in desert. 9:42 AM Monday, September 11, 2006 peculiar bright sunshine at noon,tiny sun in mid sky so dear,i m here again.sunny noon let me opener.music from radio in the late morning lessen more or less my worries about ur love for me.i was told love ,like something not countable counts while something counts is not countable,not to mean to count but counts on if u love any more.i love u like my hometown exiled me, i miss u in my farest floating dream,and my surest destiny,like death.only death can take me away in front of u and let us apart some time.u like the land on which i want to fly,u like my heel when i jump.god guides our reunification. changing mood,however,buffets my sole heart.loneliness steals every doubts in my love to u and replaces them with relentless thirst for expedite love,for girls at hand.but the love for the blond is real,i don't know what's better to deal with u two,but i try my best to own both.i can't side watch beauty around without lust,i can't live with empty of u without clinch to a port of soul in buffets of emotional torment of loneliness,even temporary one. bye.kiss u.i love u,in dark in light,in dim in bright. 1:05 PM
milky sunshine,a new day faint in cuelessness. i woke up early and its 5:37 when i watched clock.i got up at 6:58.last night i fell into sleep easily.and i dreamed of exercised with some monks in prepare,one of them in family name of tu,in a shabby place in times before china's liberation.then we slided to new china republic and witness election campaign around us.after breakfast,i listened a song lyrics "don't compare me down,or i need only a minute to part u." and i know i hurt two of my beloved.but what can i do?i murmured to the colorful screen in cafe all days and bled and fled as routine. last night when i clean myself a tall rough girl of somebody's girlfriend there in the washing room in the dorm washing,really let me tremble with her smell her flesh shown out so near.i then know nothing can be compared with a girl aside u with her heart and body in ur palm.a bird at hand worth two bird in bushes,that's definitely right.but what can cure me at present?what can compare to the sensational beauty of girl's flesh? bye,i under hacker's attacks now.kiss u,i love u. 9:05 AM a suuny day till dusk in morning i busy with fix my pda.afternoon my son's mother and her relative who help caring my baby son,accompany my kid brother's wife and son to visit her stall.i held my baby son outside to sunburn.he played in the pool in the garden and giggled a lot.later he slept on my neck and in my arms.the sun just right to warm him.some cops training there in the sports yard,a volunteer socer team playing on the grass,and some dogs hunting. i under hacks again,like in the morning here.dogs determined to bug me to test my temper to lose. baby,bugs everywhere,threaten our peace in our love,in our miss.but water is always sinks mud.i look forward the day we laugh in our eyes face to face. bye.kiss u.i love u. 7:37 PM sharp sunshine all day. its a quite warm afternoon and i cosy in sunshine till shadow of leaves scattered on my body on the bench.words posted here wildering in my mind and let me still in timespace.till,till here again and received blond's second message with blunt refusal.its too harsh to let me run out of any wording.she said i like 80 years old with a kid.nobody telling me that,but quite some around me saying i look like 30 more.as to my late first son,that not my fault.it takes a long time to file me from a wild rocknroll fan to mild civil man,from long haired to short neat haired.local people rather traditional just loath to accept me and introduce me a wife till a divorced woman colleague introduced me one by the way in her second marriage.that year i married was my 36 years in the single world.my first baby aborted naturally for wrong sex under wrong conception about safe sex in pregnance and also after angered gravida.god took him aside him the god in his 3 month on earth in our family.that's all pointless.what's acute is why she hurt me so late.i can well be more sensible,more polite to know her tasteless to me.sorry for all caring me,sorry for god,sorry for my defacement to his glory and our endearment and selfrespect. but i m not totally lost.i live with love in itself. after all,its nice day.i shouldn't complain bad weather ahead in good weather.so let it be.
bye.love u in peace. 5:36 AM Tuesday, September 12, 2006 soft tending sunshine in the morning i gotup at 7:04 am.its a dreamless night except wake of the refusal woke me up in mid night,as far as i know.the refusal from the blond,jamie,ruined my balance and i check fatetelling soft in anxiety and was told safe with cautions. i again under hacks. i m to care my baby.bye.kiss u in peace in blizzard.i love u that in peace.we surely enjoy harmony and placation in our relation in our life. 9:10 AM Wednesday, September 13, 2006 hot bright sunshine at noon. i woke up at 8:35 am and got up at 10:19.last night i drank some beer,first at dinner in the need of bless,second in dorm in sorrow after posting here.bright sunshine since it tinted the curtain in my awake gaze on bed.i listened to the radio music since getting up.two songs elaborated on emotion and love.jamie called me a freak two times,and saying my old and to be older.i don't konw why god let me so odd and lonely so far,in every adequate age i was left in a dim corner lonelily watching endorsed staging in limelight.when i assured enough to demand my share in love with girls and in place on the social ladder,i was told i was too old.is that fair?i don't think so.will i cowarded into mute?no. fight is routine for soldier.i needn't accord or concord.world trapped with love,why i loose and single outside.broken heart need reunite,why my tears scattered all over my pits? sunny sky and sunny air accord my wish. bye.kiss u.i love u in peace. 1:28 PM sunny till machine dog swarmed us.storm brewing. it can be a nice day except in late afternoon some cops training in the sports yard and partaked the yard with a herd of elemental school students there playing socer when i let my baby son playing there.when i ready to leave a little boy playing basketball talked to me and we delayed to play socer with him and his pal.some cops then surrounded us.clouds then gathered till i returned and dinnered.now sunshine through the cloud but wet clouds covered most of the mid sky and a storm in anticipation.my baby cried loudly but the old woman just hide him in the garden to avoid he sight my leaving,shits,my baby needn't be cheated to calm down.i left in advance to hand in fee for cable tv for his mother. so its final time between jamie and me.she warned me with the penalty from 'authority' to prevent me from replying her.sorry.sorry for her losing temper.i just didn't believe my losing.so,let it be from now. dusk marching.i felt sorry for my future.selecting road following god is not as easy as picking a job.i was left with god,i was chosen for the sole role.
bye,i love u,no more no less. 6:56 PM sunny all day. so its evening now.i sat in the dark on the second floor of the cafe,even hacked and bugged so long but for miss of u i lingered here.the more i read yingying's blog at http://yingyingxin.blog.sohu.com/ the more i felt my hope for my beloved sinking.the star still so bright and so cool,but its just so far and so quiet.music still talking to me,but i m more and more unsure about if i m her only audience.my road so far sometimes unreeled in front of my mind but i just smell a soundless laugh.i still sense and in faith, but evil sometimes shakes me into chill.i still under god's guide,but the rocky road just spites me. under hacks and bugs. bye.i love u.kiss u with dignity and love. after all complains,i will head high in next morning.let me be.bye. another hour started at 20:50.i can't help wildering yingying's blog and her friends' blogs and decided to rid them from my mind so as not to distract my pure admire for my beloved,girl zhou.for i would not accept my beloved among them.i demand my beloved to be pure for me,to be pure ferfect for me. bye to all temps. i have it.i have my girl in crown, in my kingdom or in god's kingdom. 6:30 PM Thursday, September 14, 2006 a perfectly sunny day. last night i dreamed of a carpenter,likely my uncle i never seen,worked in our home with a radio.i played with my radio but he let me lower my radio's volume.i felt very gloomy for my job's perspective in the dream.before this i dreamed of our college alumni gathered and those earned much in dominating post treating us and they even dosed some drugs.while i with my wife miserablely tried lots of means to make a living in the dream.i got up at 6:57 am. then i head to see my baby son.its a sunny day from dawn to dusk.we toddled almost 7 hours outside all day.morning we played with a burning weed heap the gardener set and emitted a lot of smoke.then we played in elders' gateball yard,where he made a water for the cold those aged brought onto him.when i holding him waiting his mother on the mall he slept and till a middle aged dog irritated him to waking up,he slept about half an hour.at lunch time i busy helping his mother deal with her notebook.in the afternoon,when we arrived the sport yard the machine dog again marched into there.so we left and went to south garden,where he insisted standing in front of three hooligans and stared them.then we played on the rim of the fountain.he giggled a lot with plunging an stick from an ice stick we ate into the water while i shouted 'za(prickle)' aside.when its 4 pm,we went to his mother's school whose gate underwent renovation and a heap of sand there.he played with sand with great joyes.it really took him a lot of exercise to carry sand and scattered far aside.the watchdog of the school watched from our back and let my baby son mouthwatered a lot by his dirty will.we received his mother in the school.when his mother
started to bath him i returned to the dorm.i had a beered dinner to thank given such a nice day. dear,my girl zhou,so many years turn before since i started to search u via web.my confidence on ur back waned in these days surrounded by dogs and bugs.i know god's attending us but he also knows how i need ur message now.in near cold wind,i need ur whistle of fidelity.on every pale dawn,i need ur warmth of presence. bye.kiss u,my girl.i love u.kiss u with lavender smoke we gathered today.god bless us. 7:35 PM Friday, September 15, 2006 sultry day brewing storm. in late morning i haunted here to download the upgrade of the php web application my son's mother adopted.after lunch i went to the libray of qrrs to borrow some computer magzines then headed to my baby son's mother's home.on the way a cop haunted around me for quite some times appeared and a police car ported under the building where our home located.today they r grinning to chin,for hacked me so tensively.they destructed the database when i almost called an stop to the upgrade to the website,just to showing the abused power of the state in their steeling hands,and their foul nose mousing everywhere in the aim to daunt cowards.dogs and bugs still now licking and biting here in the cafe around me.they r step by step installing all their weapons on their paws till entrenched with bare failure with their bare corpses all over.god's laughing.but what can i do along the dogs and their host desperately showy around?let its way. bye.i love u.like the moon light in autumn night,dry and clear.kiss u with pantings. 7:01 PM Monday, September 18, 2006 sunny day as usual. yesterday i worked out from 9 am to 9 pm to upgrade the website on my son's mother's notebook,except a dinner break.today i had to withdraw some money from my salary card i let my son's mother hold in advance,for i ran out of board and lodge budget.my son took a bottle of soft drink in the morning and cried sometimes upon my delayed buying him ice stick.then the siren in memory of 9.18 bellowed in the air of everywhere and we sight the students of my son's mother's school summoned and pledged in the theme of trust.my son's mother then approached us and lent me some money.with the money i bought my son an ice stick and i fed him by mouth to mouth as usual,and a cup of jelly and let his mates envy very much when he ate aside a sand heap where some boy kids and a girl kid playing there.and that's our happy morning.we received his mother on the mall and returned together.my son soon slept after his mother breasted him.at lunch i busy boasting my works on her notebook and almost spoild our delicious lunch including steak stew.afternoon i busy on cataloging family album digitally but soon my baby son woke up by battery alarm of the notebook.he played with his mother's relative awhile letting me work alone in his room.then we went out again.i bought him a bottle of water and a little bag of peanuts.he played quite some time alone on the grass between 2 residential buildings.then we haunted the south garden,where a couple shoting their wedding memories with full putons.we played on the ladder of the tablet,an old woman talking a lot with my son but i hardly understood what she talking in odd accent.then his mother arrived.she left the meeting of her school in advance.we all glad to see each other. i m under attacks again.
bye.kiss u.i love u with patience and pains. 7:26 PM Wednesday, September 20, 2006 another sunny morning i woke up at 7:14 am and got up at 8:17.another member of the room seldom returns or stays entered and made some cracks with his drawer.i dreamed of a male teacher in my elemental school in family name liu,talking about my composation and handwriting.then i found lots of wet soft scars of large area can be teard off on my right arm esp. on the root end of it,and other parts of my body,like worse vaccine effects.i asked about it to my wife in dream and she replied its liuyingzi,i don't know what its of a liuyingzi. these days i felt lazy to get up as soon as i woke up.i doubting if the neighbors' ill wills' infected me.the neighbor of my near side likely hooligans tentatively arranged there aiming me,they seemed seldom leave their room in the dorm all time,and esp. when i was at room.they sometimes tentatively shown me who they r among inhabitants in the aim to let their doggings dwell in my mind. morning sun like an peaceful infant.but intricate dreams not lead me in wildering joy upon dawn it should.but after all i know nothing can stain the full landscape we have. under attacks now. bye.kiss u.i love u no matter chill or hot. 9:57 AM Thursday, September 21, 2006 sunny autumn morning. i got up at 8:02 am after woke up by phone call from my son's mother inquiring instalation of soft.again dreamed a lot of familiars.last night just after i returned from xinqiang internet cafe just outside of the dorm zone i was reminded to doubt if i hurt others with my determination.the cafe i haunted,starsee cafe,nowaday seemingly seen many empty seats.last night when i posting in xinqiang cafe a guy first attacked me dirty mentally then soon abused and left after i defended myself.that left me doubting if most custumers of cafe just haunted there to fuck around. now i m in another cafe,yiyou(righteous friends),farer from the dorm and near the working place i once worked.it charges 1.5 yuan for an hour but its monitor very large,likely 19 inch.i can say its cozier but i still favor cafes charging 1 yuan.but likely china sank into inflation nowaday.i heard agriculture products improving their prices.xinqiang cafe also charges 2 yuan for lcd monitor and 1 for traditional crt monitor. bye.kiss u.i love u.no sooner no later. 10:12 AM sunny day. maybe i can call it a busy day.after posting i headed to visit my baby.he was sleeping when i arrived.so i start to sort pda warez i downloaded and moved to my sd card.when i almost finished it my baby woke up and walked beside me and stuck his head out paralleling with me and smiling await my notice.when i found him he beamed so warm that let me almost sorry and lost in moving.in the rest of the morning i had to fight against his cries for my
caress to finish my work.at lunch his mother brought a notebook of her colleague to let me restore its infected os,then i found its original os cd is linux with backup while now its os is winxp.so i was assured that their notebook were 'benchmarked',i mean hacked. we went out lately at about 2:30.i bought him a bottle of juice,a cup of jelly,an ice stick.the grocer woman commented my baby's face very likes mine.when he ate the jelly a long queue of pupils passed us and we divided them in the mid.then we went to sports yard.when i open my pda to watch time the cops nearby immediately soft reset it to remind me their presence.i really didn't notice them then.so we went to south garden where we played with water in fountain with our juice bottle for some time and some mothers and grandmoms watched me around,which common for us.then again a swarm of pupils entered the garden and scattered everywhere.some of them brought notes with them,likely an practise of outdoor observation.the director of the garden shouted to the dean,a tall woman,claiming the children can lead danger to the garden,esp. the aged,and blamed her not inform him in advance.in my view its just a trick to showy his charging,like any cadres of nowaday china raptured in their power.i witness aside and sometimes want to calm him down but fianlly give up.i love the blue sky and the sun and the children like flowers,but them just kept in close rein in nowaday china.from kindergarten to elemental school to middle school,all with steel door locked inside,in the title of security.in fact,china 'secured' by machine dog to smother.like internet cafe everywhere in the hand of relatives of cops,all under the title of censorship for the sake of mindless and mind-needless parents to bankrupt the quality of service and freedom of life. this post is first time posted in another cafe near the dorm.its service likely inferior and bugs everywhere.but till now i seemingly didn't being hacked. bye.kiss u tender.i love u with dry cry in daytime in colorless autumn. 6:56 PM Friday, September 22, 2006 2 days before dogs' hunting. 2 days passed just attempting prepare a clean pda.yesterday i busy from morning to a full used afternoon to prepare installing a clean os of my ppc but just when i finished and underwent backup,the sd card was hacked or formated and lost all my works.i busy to restore it when my son with the old relative returned from outside and its already 5:20 pm and more.i had to consoled my baby craving for my caress to finished my ongoing work.then its 6 pm and i worried about my bike whose front tyre leaked in the morning and when i held my baby outside to see it it indeed empty.then i held my baby receiving his mother in her school at 7:00 pm.for its late to let the bus out of service,i ported in my baby's mother's home a night.this morning i continued to work on pda till i felt ready to install all programs in a safe place,then i returned to the dorm.i rest on bed for an hour then felt the sportyard of qrrs is a good place to operate on my pda,for its spaciousness can kept monitoring equipments invalid.i installed on my pda there where a chorus practised there.but again i found my newly installed os infected.so i returned to my baby's mother's home again,now that she also hope me attending baby in the afternoon and rest tomorrow.this time i operated on the stairs and seemingly less phenomenon of being hacked.i returned after 5:30 pm. bye.i love u.kiss u with rest of fatigue. 8:06 PM Saturday, September 23, 2006
peaceful sunny day. last night slept lately around 11:30.this morning i restlessly want to prepare myself a clean and ready pda.so i went to qrrs' free cafe but found its out of service.then i headed to starsea cafe and download some stuff i wanted to update and attempt to move to one of my sd card to install but failed,likely i wrongly set the sd card read only via software protect.but i redeemed being hacked so i shift to No.2 dorm and found a room open where a guy on pc.for unknown wrong settings i again failed.returned to my room and played with pda and just after i restored os from writeproof sd card and reboot my sd card missing! then i tried another sd card,it read.then i let the wrong sd card writable and in a minute it appeared in the device list but there is nothing on it.just in the moment it lost all data i had worked 2 days on.neighbors furied seemingly.i decided returned to my baby's mother's home again.when i arrived there,her mother and the wife and baby son of my kid brother already there.i prepared all cabs and went to the ground garden to install again.and all seemingly smooth with cautions.then my son's aunt buzzed in and let them eat out.i backup the pda indoor where my baby's mother tutored a girl student.she headed to the restaurant before me 15 minutes or so.i finally finished all installation and backup.so i also went to the restaurant.they chose a closet with 2 tables,one we occupied and another empty yet.when i almost finished my dinner the neighbor customers arrived,some men and some women.my baby son started to be irregular.his aunt commented we spoilt him for before we couple arrived he quiet.i held my baby went where he liked and found many male customers bare their chest,ie．half nuked and haunted around.that let me unpleasant.i felt waited enough time outside and return but found their still there eating,except the aunt missing.i irritated and cursed his mother.she didn't repent and breast my baby and he soon slept.i left abrupt.i even envisioned its a plot from dogs union,with which the aunt(my baby's mother's kid sister) likely familiar. i returned and enjoyed settled pda while waiting daily bless phone.but it didn't ring.so i buzzed in and no one received.so im here. i love u.no matter how far u were,i stretched out to read u.kiss u with beaming smiles.bye. 10:08 PM Sunday, September 24, 2006 an ordinary sunny day these days played with warez.last night i lately enjoyed my settled pda,reading the bible and found peace.this morning i woke up at 9:20 and start to read the bible at once,till felt thirsty for spiritual works.so i headed to the cafe to search english version of 'communication with god' whose chinese version i almost finished on.an hour passed in vain but reapped their aftermate works from the same author in chinese version.then i went to free cafe of qrrs to sort downloaded but can't help continuing search as soon as siting there.last night i skim my posting within chinaren alumni on my pda i backup several days ago and found lots of typos but i think its better let it be to reflect my clumnsiness then, and needless to say machine dogs' breaking in anonimity.afternoon sunlight witnesses my reading on the bible on the bench in the garden till my pda run out of battery power.in the morning i worried about my baby's suffering due to the adverse environment,but it disappeared after i immersed in messages from the bible.god arrives when i in need of him.i really felt entertained by the convenience of pda. tomorrow i will see my baby son.i will compensate him all my absent attendance in these busy days on my pda harrassed by dogs with full time caress for him.in fact in late days he started to play with other members of the family and left me alone.i love him so much,and i from the button of my heart don't worry his forture or fate but i ought to do my best to lead
him a more enjoyable way through his infantile years in the world which he to steer. bye.i love u. here another hour at 10:11 after i successfully backup my pda again with some customise and adding spiritual works i got today onto my frequently broken sd card.dubious persons around me when i hided in a far residential area in the opposing side of the dorm along the main street to operate after cleaning myself and exchanged daily bless with my baby son and his mother.i now felt really cosy,mostly for the successful backup.i failed so many times near the dorm.i know i will win under the bless of god's message,and i indeed.thx god. my udisk is full,so i likely can't download any more.so i really don't know how to kill this hour.maybe i will leave in advance. i love u,baby,these days a tall girl with longer wrest dwelled in the washing room and met me times.i really in need of women,u know,she was rough, i can only felt more thirsty.god feeds everybody,but i only want my share of love and my girl and my peaceful family.why u detain my pleasure with u in our family in communion? these days i returned to starsea cafe.the first day i return i was not showily hacked,then being hacked showily in the after days.i now being bited. bye.god bless u to miss me.god let u sniper in cloak my misery of missing u and longing for the female.u know i will revenge u with deeper and everlasting love with u after we united. bye.kiss u with fig leaves.i love u under the light of god's dome,like lavender's perfume in the autumn sunshine. 11:12 PM Monday, September 25, 2006 rainning morning,sunny afternoon i got up at 7:33 am.and finding its raining to wash dirty wills from surrounding last night to me and my baby.when i arrived at my baby's home,he was in the old woman's laptop being fed.he didn't run into my embrace as usual as soon as catching sight of me.i kissed his leg as usual.then i holding him rambling,and let him play if he liked.he usually liked to mess cooking utensils and i just let him play with them.the old woman urged him to sleep but he slept lately after 11:00.i in fact sometimes itching to backup my pda but i held back my eagerness.i held him in sleep in my arms with quilt till his mother returned.she was obviously unhappy with me.she directly went to bed and refused to coorporate with me to let our baby sleep on bed.till she finished her lunch and went to bed again i laid my baby on bed and he woke up soon.i then finished my lunch and busy with backup pda.just when i almost finished it the sd card wrecked again.i don't know if its a problematic card or my pda was hacked remotely by machine dogs.i was left to copy all backup again to it which cost me 3 hours and more to fill 1 gb disk.how can i complain with usb 1.0 and likely poor perfermance of card reader and the card itself.when i intended to leave i met my baby returned with the old woman from outside on the ground and i changed my mind to hold my baby outdoor till his mother returns.so we start our journey.he asked for a bottle of juice and a ice stick.he spoilt most of the juice on the rim of a garden where some aged sat.he practised walking on and climbing the rim for quite some times.he succeeded mostly except 2 times failed under attacks from persons surrounding illwilledly.his mother found us when we sat on a forklife in her school near the renovating door.she rushed to leave and let me pick her bike and i lost them in the crowd of receiving parents and i returned directly.
i waited for battery charge.his mother didn't buzz in as usual.i buzzed in to inform her.she lately replied.she might suffering at a loss in the aim to reunite our family.then i went out to continue backup my pda and when finished backup and moving the backup to my sd card it finished,but when i powered off to unplug it to set it writeproof,it again wrecked.shits.i checked web for the problem but in vain.i more believed its infected by virus put on it stealthily remotely by cops.for just when i plug it in to my pda it immediately hanged.its all hackings,i know. dogs nearby biting. i here again in yiyou(righteous friend) cafe,fed up with being hacked in starsea cafe. bye.kiss u with slaver.i love u in stary sky.hope u can see. 11:38 PM Wednesday, September 27, 2006 brilliant sunshine at noon last night i read my letters for u from my blog on my pda lately.this morning i got up after 7 am and continued to read them.quite some typos in them,no fault when jamie says i'd better learn more english to type correctly to let her understand more than 2 words.some errors let me surer that my posts were broken by breakers,ie. dogs union.after all,we all got it,under god's guide. i rambled outside of starsea cafe after lunch for about an hour.for im not urgent to utter.but many of its customers leaving in the end.and its neighbor vender,a funeral service agancy let lots of its young pals cleaning lots of dirty carpets outside and let out lots of dusts.so here again in xinqiang (newly strong) cafe also near the dorm,with whom i was attacked in my first time here several days ago.as soon as i settled a bug crawled to my hand,leaving foul smell.and i immediately being attacked. i had not too much to utter now.settled pda really relieved me.i enjoyed it in the shine on bench in the garden in the morning till lunch time.recent nights witness my peacer sleep than before,and i know i left them behind more and more distant.that's growup.god let us experience anxiousness,tensions,restlessness,just to let us witness the more and more opening peace on the land in the opposing side.through these negative feelings we made use of our will to choose the feelings we prefered to stay and to be what we want to be.from the early years in dark in mud,i learned more and more that we grow up in a faster pace in plenty in cares for the wider timespace of the universe than our animosities.we r to cradle the world.that's our responsibilty. bye.i love u.kiss u with dry tears in sunshine. 2:07 PM sunny day,can be more sunnier. i got up at 7:33.i immediately moved to the bench in the garden to sunshine.then in a pulse i headed to computer market intending to buy myself a sd card reader.in the market mall at the entrance of lift a cop in uniform left.i copied files on the sd card which can't be found on my pda to the vender's pc and found some of them can't be copied.the copy cost a lot of time which i granted as usual but the vender suggested for a change of new and returning the wrecked to its manufacture and i accepted her suggest gladly.i test the new one and found it costs 40 minute to copy 500Mk,speedier much than the wrecked.then i went to my baby's mother's home and copied the missing files.in the afternoon,i cared my baby in
sunlight full time.we ate peanuts,sunflower seedings,and ice stick as usual,against his mother's warn.my baby slept later after 4:30 pm and woked by dogs among the crowd of parents receiving their children. i felt so glad that i drank a bottle of beer at dinner.no matter if the machine dogs plotted it or plotted to pit me into anxiousity upon everyone,i adopted the convience of a speeder and a healthier sd card. under attacks now.i m again in starsea cafe. bye.i love u.kiss u with light heart. 7:19 PM Thursday, September 28, 2006 cloudy morning,sunny afternoon i woke up at 7:55 am and got up at 8:40.it was cloudy then,hardly any sunshine.i went to see my baby son at once.when i arrived he slept in the arms of the old woman who was watching tv.so i launched to update my pda with two softs,pocket earth and chess,and backup again.first time backup failed indicating infecting.then the old woman went to gerocery and locked the door too loud to wake my son up.i held him in arms to let him continue his sleeping and also attempting to operate on my pda,that woke my baby soon up.but i finished backup in time and started to let my son play with what he liked to play with.then his mother returned and told me our baby last night had problem to sleep and his mother had to hold him in arms to let him sleep.he got a little bit cold now,sneezed and running nose.i just consoled my wife take it ease for she condemned its my fault to let him sleep outside the day before yesterday.when we finished our lunch my baby irregular so we couple decided to hold him out in advance.we went to icbc bank to withdraw money from my salary card to deposit fix term for our baby's education,according to quicken's arrangement of financial plan.we each deposit 200 yuan a month for his college education.waiting his mother operating in the bank i hold my son to the nearby gercery shop to buy him a bottle of juice and a ice stick for my baby turned irritated by a nearby islamic restaurant.his mother got angery as soon as catching sight of the ice stick and left abrupt.but that not daunted us,we in fact ate 3 ice stick in the afternoon,spoilt 2 bottle juice and a bottle of water.when i waved the swing with my baby on my neck soon after his mother left,he slept on my neck.i at once move to sunshine in basketball yard and strode back and forth within the yard.soon some illwilled aged sat on the edge of the yard and loudly urged me to return to home.for my baby on my neck i can't reply and they started to curse me.they woke up my baby 2 times but i determined to ignore these human's dirty willes and rest in god's dome.when they cursed me with pretended authority's tone i left to avoid.we walked on another lane of the sports yard and my baby still slept on my neck till a middle aged woman asked to lend me a hand to shift my baby down but i refute and likely she exerted illwill behind us and let my baby wake up. after all its a nice afternoon.we had good time in south garden.my son let me pennyless.but i still ate a banquet with a fish and beer at dinner in the common. under attack now. bye.kiss u with placation.i love u,with placation again.last night i buzzed my old father in my hometown in a mountain village in east of hubei province,central china and promised paying him a visit as soon as i being with u.sure he sees u and the day. 6:48 PM
Posted by benzrad at 7:28 PM 0 comments
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sunny day but indoor clean posts.
last night i check up my posts in blogs on my pda till 1:00 am.the neighbor hooligans stayed waiting after i went to sleep.they let my pda hanged 3 or more times.today i got up after 10 am.and headed to see my baby after lunch.the old woman held my baby outside letting me busy with sorting the cleaned posts.later my son's mother returned with our son and the old woman with fruits dispatched by her school.my baby started to not to operate on pc.he insisted played with household utensils and mess a lot.i had a shower in the public bathroom after his mother returned.and even its late i changed to a cafe near my baby's home to surf to avoid the dogged cafes near the dorm. bye.i love u.today i frequently felt ur hostility, i don't know if it comes from u or manipulated by dogs.seemingly light only in the end of the tunnel.kiss u with sunlight. Posted by benzrad at 6:50 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Friday, September 29, 2006
a busy day preparing move to blogcn and blogger
since last night being dogged till afternoon when online.just felt sohu forever inferior to yahoo and in the hand of machine dog really disgusting. this afternoon i went to my baby's mother's home again to use the pc.my baby these days suffers running nose.when i almost finished my work the old woman and his grandmom returned from outside and wanted him to sleep but he just didn't with me.i had to care him playing with salt jar.he scattered salt all over and felt happy.when i attempted to move him away he cried.so i held him to receive his mother nearby.on the ground in dark dusk we met a neighbor little girl of garde one student of elemental school.he peacefully sat on my neck watching the girl practise ticking feather ball.his mother still felt at a loss upon her failure to reunite our family,i guess,and cold shoulders to me.i left them on the ground.its 7:00 pm when i passed the rail station near the house. bye,dear.i will do my best to migrate my letters to blogcn.com and blogger of google.i think they r more trustworth.i love u,under the sky of god's love to everyone appeals.kiss u with wheat juice. Posted by benzrad at 8:38 PM 0 comments Links to this post
Thursday, September 28, 2006
cloudy in morning,sunny afternoon.
i woke up at 7:55 am and got up at 8:40.it was cloudy then,hardly any sunshine.i went to see my baby son at once.when i arrived he slept in the arms of the old woman who was watching tv.so i launched to update my pda with two softs,pocket earth and chess,and backup again.first time backup failed indicating infecting.then the old woman went to gerocery and locked the door too loud to wake my son up.i held him in arms to let him continue his sleeping and also attempting to operate on my pda,that woke my baby soon up.but i finished backup in time and started to let my son play with what he liked to play
with.then his mother returned and told me our baby last night had problem to sleep and his mother had to hold him in arms to let him sleep.he got a little bit cold now,sneezed and running nose.i just consoled my wife take it ease for she condemned its my fault to let him sleep outside the day before yesterday.when we finished our lunch my baby irregular so we couple decided to hold him out in advance.we went to icbc bank to withdraw money from my salary card to deposit fix term for our baby's education,according to quicken's arrangement of financial plan.we each deposit 200 yuan a month for his college education.waiting his mother operating in the bank i hold my son to the nearby gercery shop to buy him a bottle of juice and a ice stick for my baby turned irritated by a nearby islamic restaurant.his mother got angery as soon as catching sight of the ice stick and left abrupt.but that not daunted us,we in fact ate 3 ice stick in the afternoon,spoilt 2 bottle juice and a bottle of water.when i waved the swing with my baby on my neck soon after his mother left,he slept on my neck.i at once move to sunshine in basketball yard and strode back and forth within the yard.soon some illwilled aged sat on the edge of the yard and loudly urged me to return to home.for my baby on my neck i can't reply and they started to curse me.they woke up my baby 2 times but i determined to ignore these human's dirty willes and rest in god's dome.when they cursed me with pretended authority's tone i left to avoid.we walked on another lane of the sports yard and my baby still slept on my neck till a middle aged woman asked to lend me a hand to shift my baby down but i refute and likely she exerted illwill behind us and let my baby wake up. after all its a nice afternoon.we had good time in south garden.my son let me pennyless.but i still ate a banquet with a fish and beer at dinner in the common. under attack now. bye.kiss u with placation.i love u,with placation again.last night i buzzed my old father in my hometown in a mountain village in eastern of hubei province and promised paying him a visit as soon as i being with u.sure he will see the day. Posted by benzrad at 9:29 PM 0 comments Links to this post Subscribe to: Posts (Atom)
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