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E PRE U R
H O L E
N E W
D O L
by the author of
THE OFFICIAL PREPPY HANDBOOK
w i t h C h i p K i d d
D.com. she’s been busy in Old Media. including quiz and fan page • Poster (ISBN: 978-0-307-47145-1. Los Angeles. Knopf.000 copies • National Media Appearances.com • Interactive Web Page: www. LATimes. Chip Kidd is a designer and writer at Alfred A. including Facebook. Chicago.com • Promotional Video • Facebook Promotion. Miami.C. We’re back. G&T–soaked preppies adapts to the new order of the Internet. Rollingstone. cell phones.“Wake up. n/c) • Jacket Blowups Available www. In the last thirty years. . C O M I N G F R O M K N O P F F A L L 2 0 1 0 Lisa Birnbach still wears her father’s tennis sweater and her grandmother’s pearls.trueprep.com. sensation.aaknopf. $23. PLEA SE. . and Washington. True Prep is a contemporary look at how the old guard of natural-fiber-loving. True Prep promises to be a whole new. Reuters. when he was in the tenth grade. political correctness. Now he wants to return the favor.95) • ISBN/EAN: 978-0-307-59398-6 MARKETING PLANS First Printing 150. Reality TV and . Accompanied by more than one hundred original illustrations and photographs. New York. old. Boston.95 (Can. Dallas.com . polar fleece. Muffy. and at least one recipe.com www.com. NYmag. where he has worked since 1986. • Extensive Online Advertising Campaign.trueprep. rehab. In 1980. NO TEXTING AT THE TABLE. and f lies coach. San Francisco. including a morning show and NPR • National Print Features • Radio Satellite Tour • 9-city Author Tour: Atlanta. dog-worshiping. but she managed to meet Chip Kidd through Facebook.” From the author of The Official Preppy Handbook comes a whole new take on the old world that she turned into an international best-selling phenomenon thirty years ago. The Official Preppy Handbook changed his life. Humor • 5-1/2 x 8-1/4 • 256 pages $19.
TRUE PREP It’s a whole new old world A l f r e d A . K n o p f N e w Yo r k 2010 LISA BIRNBACH C h i p DRAWINGS BY RANDY GLASS • K i d d PHOTOGRAPHS BY GEOFF SPEAR .
and Grandfather. Caroline Milbank on Breton stripes. Jewelry: when enough is enough. An American map. Cheapness of all kinds. Daddy. McLean. . Henry. Prep travel commandments. Ralph’s page. Check the thriftshops: a list of the best vintage shops in Barrington. The story of polar fleece. Admission secrets from a real authority. Online shopping: a very useful list. Old is better than new. 2.) We are: gay. alumni. The truth about money: What we value—education. Yes. Inherited vs. Just like family. The kids’ table: a Thanksgiving tradition. Hairy Preppies: Silicon Valley billionaires. they are. black. The corrections: how to use alumna. any town called Greenville. One man and his outerwear. “Which Is Preppier: Red or Blue?” by Christopher Buckley. The Boys of Vineyard Vines. It was thirty years ago . We value diversity (though we actually prefer homogeneity). The True Prep Pantheon. alumnus. Trench coats. Profile of Hampden-Sydney College. VA. . alumnae. Preppy math. Caroline Milbank on stretching the look. . How to integrate vintage into your prep wardrobe. then there’s Big Money. Because we are givers. All about wardrobe. self-made money. multiethnic. WE DON’T TALK ABOUT IT. Frugal do’s and don’ts. 1. and a summer house. Making the transition from Casual Friday to Saturday. travel. IL. Anthony. the preppiest in America. The right suntan and how to get it. Daddy’s Girlfriend. Some Four-Legged Preps & the Two-Legged Preps Who Love Them. yes. Grandmother. Caring about money again. We represent all religions (especially those recognized by the IRS). The view of Oak Bluffs (and Sag Harbor. T. THAT’S WHERE MY BROTHER WENT. I JUST FOUND IT IN MY CLOSET. Four years in hair. What is all this fuss about? All about Mummy. The building at school with Grandmother’s maiden name. 4. the dog. PASS IT ON: THE PREP MANIFESTO.C O N T E N T S INTRODUCTION Where were we? Oh. There’s money. The leaning of the silhouette: A visit with Thom Browne. 3.
Anthony Marshall. Monogrammania. drugs. white lies. Scandals Hit Prepdom! Details at eleven! Prep Crime Watch: lying. When to hire a decorator. What to eat when you are hungover. Collections. Writing ambitions. Cookbooks. Roxanne Pulitzer. Weekend house in a better community. Berocca. What’s in the fridge? What to do on the cook’s night off. as a career for all. Claus von Bulow. squid. Shooting your own dinner: a quail recipe. Jobs we won’t see anytime soon. Why we all want to live near one another. Shepherd’s pie. The perfect martini. Where to use your family crest. The mudroom. Why a house is not a “home.” Starter apartments.5. . How much of the house belongs to the dog. Uh. Why not-for-profits are more prep than private sector jobs. Where the girls are: nursery school and kindergarten. Lovely alibis for where you’ve been the last three to five years. How we think about food: what we’ve learned—Asian. Crime Hall of Fame: Mrs. Preppiest beer. POOR MRS. Maisie’s apple pudding. Monogram shop. Rehab & the big house: the new boarding schools. oh #4: Mummy is now a yogini/healer/therapist. WE CALL IT HOUSE. Codfish cakes. Brownies. A tribute to the Lemon. sex scandals. Also. DRINKS BEFORE DINNER. magic tablets. Robert Chambers. UNHAPPY HOURS. The weekend house. David Duchovny. List of prep professions. List of unprep professions. Photo of Jim Abernathy behind his desk. fusion. shoplifting. Ann Woodard. Uh. when to use Mummy. The Christmas tree list. Graduate Programs that last forever. The Johnson and Astor wills. garden books. Uh. Old Bay. The perfect bloody. What to do with all the beautiful family photographs: buy a piano. 6. adultery. The Nouveau Riche. oh #5: what happened to Mummy’s face? 8. Insider trading. Renée Richards. dog books. Uh. oh #3: Mummy is now a docent. Lipton’s meatloaf. oh #2: Mummy just passed her real estate exam. Martha Stewart. The real house. Best G&T. pesto. Jean Struven Harris. ASTOR. forgery. Knorr Dip. oh #1: Mummy is now a decorator. Uh. the girls at parties checking guest lists. “Bankers: what in the world do they really do?” by William Cohen. 7. Why alcohol? Two perfect preppy drinks you’ve never heard of.
Writing your autobiography: a cautionary tale. THE TIMELINE : WHAT’S HAPPENED IN THE LAST THIRTY YEARS? ACKNOWLEDGMENTS . 10. condo. Where we go: Skiing. Argentina. 11. Litchfield County. PART 1: WHAT WE DO. Thank-you notes for all occasions. What to pack. HAPPY HOURS. James Collins on love. Advice to “Gossip Girl” from a real girl. stepparents. The Sunny Lessons: what we can all learn from Mrs. Napa Valley. When to insist your name is public and when to give anonymously. What we watch. Weekend as a gerund. Martha’s Vineyard. Team sports. in person. Trusts & estates (hint: make your signature illegible now). Miss Jane Hathaway. Destination weddings. except for Tim Gunn. Why Etiquette Counts. Note to Junior: No texting at the table! What to call your new. What to call your new.” Preppies & Internet porn. Should you be interred at your alma mater? What to do with your pets if you predecease them. Why no true preppy will ever appear on a reality show. How to dance. Showers and weddings. The right obituary. The right present. WE’RE OUT OF HERE! Prep health: looking good vs.) Rip’s Road Rules. finca. How to select your lawyers and doctors. “The Internet: How we use it. Fishing. The First Wives Club. Correspondence course: in praise of handwritten letters on engraved or letterpress stationery. The book club. Italy. leaving. stepparents when you are the same age. von Bulow. cabin. Beach. How to distinguish between you and your cell phone. France. The Hamptons. um. Can you have a library if you don’t read books? Buying books by the yard: an interview with the Strand Bookstore. um. Where we don’t go: Las Vegas and Disneyworld (24 hour rule. How to choose an avatar. feeling good. The second wedding. Drinking in the bleachers. Entertaining our way. WE DON’T DO THAT. You vs. How to deal with twenty-first-century technology. A tribute to Thurston Howell. cottages. and how: TV vs. Planning your memorial service. Destination divorces. HAPPY HOURS. PART II: WHAT WE WATCH AND WHERE WE GO. Spending vs. III. Cell phone discipline. Preppy funeral readings. a hobby. What to do about Florida. Dominican Republic. A list of acceptable euphemisms for death. bungalow. Books we like. Shopping.9. City clubs and country clubs. chalet. unprep gadgets. Prep vs. 12. Austria. Nantucket. A city by city guide to events we like. Sports we play. your online self. and others from “our set” on TV. Newport. Shooting Trips. Holiday matching quiz: ranch.
used handkerchief. business card case. train schedule.” to raise employee morale.” Pearl stud earrings. I would have to shoot myself. love!” Ray-Ban Clubmaster shades Take-out doubleshot latte. Cole Haan penny loafers. Many give credit to the carelessly dressed denizens of the Dot Com bubble. BlackBerry. other pair of flats. Crew khakis. keys on a Mercedes fob. a present from Bunny to all her bridesmaids. Pearl necklace. almost empty Stila lip gloss. . 14 L. credit card case. love. J. bottle of water. and it will take the morning to get packed. There are only a few hours before the weekend officially begins (at noon. and then get on the road. you are correct in assuming that what the world regards as “summer hours” we regard as “prep hours. My whole life is in it. J.” Friday afternoons year-round are redundant. It just seems wrong to have to go to work on Friday. have coffee with Pip. finalize plans. iPod. Prep Standard Time). ticket from shoe repair.CASUAL FRIDAY J. sunglasses. extra cardigan. Crew handbag: wallet. Mummy’s Scottish sweater-vest— “Love. We cannot concentrate. left tie-less shirts and khakis in its wake. Father’s hand-medown briefcase. Contents: Friday/Weekend section of Wall Street Journal. Crew head to ankle. Thus. Yes. “If I lost this. before it burst. which. half-used bottle of Purell. They’re like the second half of senior year in high school after we’ve been admitted to Middlebury. They are useless. no belt. J. Crew striped shirt.L. Cole Haan penny loafers. a wise person invented “Casual Friday. Bean monogrammed boat tote: notebook. a gift from Grandma Prudence.
many people in service industries choose to dress casually on days when meeting with customers isn’t on the schedule. Clayton likes them.SATURDAY In total relaxation mode. a present from Bunny to all her bridesmaids. Tiny desert boots.. Tennis racquet: For weekly doubles game at club. In fact. Even schools have adopted Casual Friday as part of their sartorial agenda.. Vintage LEGO. This is what we wear anyway when we’re not at the office. as we recognize the sweater with the hole at the elbow as an old friend. In truth. That’s. Dressing this way makes us more comfortable. preppies are well-supplied with Casual Fridayabilia. Work is just a memory. J. 15 Cole Haan penny loafers. Crewcuts khaki shorts and leather belt. My whole life is in it. etc. Is Casual Thursday next? . and we enjoy our shoes even more when we’re not wearing socks with them. One doesn’t have to work in the high-tech world to appreciate a dressed-down work day. Schools with dress codes or uniforms routinely either lift them or charge students $1. “If I lost this.00 to wear blue jeans on Fridays. etc. too. P O RTA B L E C H I L D Four-year-old son.” Pearl stud earrings. unlaced because. I would have to shoot myself. G&T: I’m taking a break from my break. Hair: Deliberately uncombed. with the money going to charity. Sunglasses: I’m outdoors or on my way outdoors. Cole Haan penny loafers. Lacoste heather grey traditional polo. How. Have a back-up racquet in my locker. Clayton. etc. Crew head to ankle. BlackBerry.
where we go. (Their assignment was on the respiratory She throws system. German shepherd. to chase a . We are prepared for unrequited love. run! LET’S GO TO THE BOATHOUSE! FISH HEADS. the doesn’t go to Oh. so we’re not holding the best. . we Kill were sent to boarding school. Henry. What does he think about? Is he happy? Does he dream? And— frankly—does he like us? OF THE VOLVO. he goes. FISH HEADS. Labrador retriever GWYNETH PALTROW (The Spence School) Rabbit. YOU. Australian cattle dog OWEN WILSON (St. gun dog PRINCE WILLIAM OF ENGLAND (Eton College) Bocci. And yes. He is woodcock. I hope she the twins. phrenological diagram of Henry Lake Forest. came up with this. Constance and Prudence. Constance Otherwise. LIVING ROOM. .PORTRAIT OF A SERIAL HUNTER H E N R Y: We confess to spending hours in the thrall of our wondrous English setter. puggle JAKE GYLLENHAAL (Harvard-Westlake School) Garcia. scratch. FISH HEADS. after all. The Ethel Walker School) Atticus Finch. for their biology class. 24 SOME FOUR-LEGGED PREPS & THE TWOLEGGED PREPS WHO LOVE THEM Widgeon. Mark’s School of Texas. though we raised gentle daughWHAT COLOR Ready ters. whistling. too dear. But t hat we would never send Henry away. out hope for an A). BANDANA? I WANT OUT OWN DEER. Boo Radley. now. too affectionate for us to be I without him for more than the anThat’s nual two-week biking trip to France. . Italian greyhound SIGOURNEY WEAVER (The Chapin School. our son (Henry) likes a IS MY for my good hunt now and . expelled) Holden.
Portuguese water dogs SEN. making STEAK. I smell Isabelle. boxers HUMPHREY BOGART (Phillips Exeter Academy. GEORGE H. That pheasant is . Gorky the handyman. expelled. W. Lawrenceville. pitbulls JON STEWART (Lawrence High School. BUSH. Baby. BUSH BB (Rye Country Day School & Ashley Hall) GHWB (Phillips Exeter Academy) T O A S T. MARROW BONES!! MARKING THE MARKING THE MARKING THE MARKING THE DONE. BUSH.85–5. for my scratch. BUSH. Not the first time. FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT (Groton School) Harvey. TOO TIRED Ready TO BARK. expelled) Polar Bear. Mildred “Millie” Kerr Bush. THE SCRIMSHAW HAIRBRUSH? SO BURIED. & Cappy. N. readmitted) . KENNEDY (Milton Academy) Fala.Blue. won’t be the last. BUSH. Sunny. Scottie PRES. PRESIDENT & MRS. golden retrievers JOHN CHEEVER (Thayer Academy. Who moved the squirrel?? Just shook water all over the mudroom. springer spaniel (1.) Splash. George. NOW I’M SLOBBERING. a cat CLEVELAND AMORY (Milton Academy) Edgar & Casiopeia.19. 25 LET’S HUNT SOMETHING TODAY! Shamsky & Monkey. Border collie–Jersey collie DAVID DUCHOVNY & TÉA LEONI (Collegiate School & The Brearley School) Ready for my scratch.12. you are my bitch. NOT!! SOMEONE’S .97) Has own Wikipedia page. that cute french bulldog in PH-E. EDWARD M.J.
really). but even she had to start somewhere. An excellent start. Let’s see what she keeps in the cupboard. but that’s not the issue. Oops. serendipity! We need inspiration. But she’s not answering her cell.” 124 . And there’s the Junior League Cookbook to the rescue! We’re all set. all swimming in that divine sauce. it was near here. there’s all sorts of things in here. “Do I slice the lime first. that’s the liquor cabinet—well. Of course we understand. Or martinis. or the lemon? It doesn’t say. and now it’s an emergency. Limes! My. wasn’t it? One thing we know for sure: No meal was ever ruined by mayonnaise. We’d been meaning for ages to get her recipe for that lovely thing she does with the peas and the pearl onions and the bits of meat.THE COOK’S DAY OFF Poor Mrs. Dinner’s in only a matter of hours. We may not exactly be Martha. she’s just called in and suddenly has to go with her husband to get his green card. and we wouldn’t dream of docking her (she’s heaven. I can’t order pizza— again. so why not? What’s in the fridge? Lemons. dammit. Come to think of it. Gibbs.
We eat to live. “Hmm. top with a thin slice of olive. OPENED . Place the sheet of cheddar on a flat. not vice versa. affix flawless dairy coin to the cracker with a dab of mustard. K NIFE . . which ought to be enough for anybody. If I crumble these in the salad. say.T H E U LT I M AT E N E W CA N A A N N I B B L E INGREDIENTS O NE BOX OF R ITZ CR ACKERS . set the rim flat on the cheese square and trace around it carefully with the knife. F RENCH ’ S MUSTARD ( OPTIONAL ). Using a shot glass.* Six sheets yields a dozen. Place perfect disc of cheese on one Ritz cracker and serve. Lift. CHEDDAR SINGLE . a holiday or a funeral. FOR CUTTING . O NE K R AF T I NDIVIDUAL CELLOPHANE REMOVED . clean surface. right?” 125 *Tip: if it’s a special occasion. perhaps from your martini glass. If you’re feeling especially festive. that’s like croutons. and voilà! A perfect circle.
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