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Why Does He Do That Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft - Not Just for Abused Womenpdf

Why Does He Do That Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft - Not Just for Abused Womenpdf

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Published by: larryb755 on Sep 21, 2011
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Why Does He Do That?

: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Best Book On Abuse/Control Patterns Ive Seen

He doesnt mean to hurt me-he just loses control. He can be sweet and gentle. Hes scared me a few times, but he never hurts the children-hes a great father. Hes had a really hard life...

Women in abusive relationships tell themselves these things every day. Now they can see inside the minds of angry and controlling men-and change their own lives. In this groundbreaking book, a counselor shows how to improve, survive, or leave an abusive relationship, with:

€ The early warning signs € Nine abusive personality types € How to tell if an abuser can change, is changing, or ever will € The role of drugs and alcohol € What can be fixed, and what cant € How to leave a relationship safely Features: * Click here to view our Condition Guide and Shipping Prices Nobody knows what it is like for even a MALE child to have to deal with an abusive father. I never really understood why my father did the things that he did to me. He has left me confused, and I continuously ask myself, Why

does (or why did) he DO that to me? He has caused me so much psychological pain over the years, and it only continues to escalate. I even have mood swings because of him. For the past 22 years, I have had to put up with a father who... ...buts in and eavesdrops on my conversations with other people, particularly my mother ...says things to me in a way that makes me want to say, Oh my GOD! ...acts as though he is ALWAYS right ...puts words in my mouth and says things to me when I really want him to leave me alone ...likes to pretend as though he knows EVERYTHING about my schooling when he actually does not ...b****es about his son and says nasty things about him to other people ...is lazy and expects his son (and his wife) to do EVERYTHING around the house, pick up after him, and know where things are that he misplaced or lost ...gets mad at his son over things that were HIS OW N fault ...raises his voice at his son for no apparent reason ...threatens to physically hurt me or my pets (i.e., knock me out with his fist, shoot my pets with his handgun), and comes at his son with scary or threatening looks on his face The list here is NEVER ending. There have even been times where I have witnessed him abusing my mother as well (i.e., raising his voice and throwing things at her). I wish she would act in self-defense. Mr. Bancrofts book is a real eye-opener. It is a thoughtful and detailed work written by an expert abuse counselor who knows abusive men very well. After reading the first few pages of this book, I knew I was going to like it, and I knew it was going to help me get inside the mind of my abusive father. It carefully and thoroughly explains ALL of the above behaviors. It is, at the very least, a badly-needed MASTERPIECE. Why Does He DO That? examines a number of different things about abusive men, including: - The many myths of abusive men and the foolish and absurd excuses that they come up with - The realities of abusive men (his controlling ways, possessiveness, etc.) - The nine types of abusive men (Mr. Right, The Water Torturer, The Player, and The Terrorist to name a few. There is one other type I wish Bancroft would have added, however: The Lazy Slob) - The makings of an abusive man, and how abuse begins in a relationship - When abusive men want sex, and how they look at sex - The role of drugs and alcohol in relati onships - Breaking up with an abusive man and how to leave him safely (here, Bancroft includes a very impressive safety plan for women, children, gay men, etc.), and crucial steps to take when dealing with him (i.e., calling the police or an abuse hotline)

- The abusive man as a father, and when men abuse their children - The abusive man and the legal system - Changing the abusive man (which includes things that help a person determine whether or not he is truly changing) Additionally, throughout this book, Bancroft asks 20 questions that he often hears from his clients (i.e., Is he abusing me on purpose?, Is he really sorry?), and attempts to answer them thoroughly. After reading this book, I have learned a lot about my father. I learned from Bancroft that a fathers abuse is his own problem, and that his abuse has more to do with how he thinks and less to do with his feelings. An abusive fathers sense of right and wrong is distorted. He thinks he is superior to his child, and he confuses love and abuse. An abusive father is unwilling to be non-abusive, NOT unable. Although a childs experience and knowledge are limited, he/she still deserves respect (which I seldom got from my father) and NOT to be abused. He tends to percei ve me as being an owned object, and does not seem to understand that children are people. If a child is abused by his/her father and/or witnesses his/her mother being abused, he/she is more likely to do poorly in school and get along badly with others. (This is only a short list. I learned a lot more than this.) This book should be read not just by abused women, but also by abused gay men, and children (male or female) who were abused by their fathers. They, like me, will feel better after reading it. I also think it is an excellent read for justice officials. Unfortunately, I have tried to convince my mother to read it, but she refuses to. She also does not tell anybody about her abusive husband (my father, of course), which is proof that women can be INVISIBLE victims of domestic violence. Thank you, Mr. Bancroft, for a great book. You have changed the way I look at my father.

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