Saturday Night You hit me up on facebook Said you were having a shitty day too We met up after work

for wine beer and cigarettes ended up on your deck resting against a perfectly pedicured lawn you a beautiful silhouette of self-prescribed inadequacy pale supple skin against a dark night we commiserate and wonder why Its not enough why we are so unfulfilled Why we are so fucking miserable why isn’t it all enough the things we can touch and those that only occupy space in our mind surround us almost every second of our waking life demanding our attention baptizing us in convenience swirling in surreal with a slight constant-nagging-suspicion that things are not how they should be

a slight constant- nausea-twinge-of-sickness In body And soul That the anti-depressant can’t seem to get rid of Wonder why? we laugh and shrug but the dark smudges under both our eyes speak of our fears I marvel at the way your floorboards are a neon white framing your spotless faux-wooden floor you see me glancing at them you apologize for not cleaning in a week I often contemplate the unnatural neatness of our world the pristine nature of our expectations the all consuming black hole of our perceived short comings we indulge more and more in the delicious opiate of conversation and connection You tell me that you hate yourself for being a horrible mother wife daughter friend when I look around and only see evidence to the contrary

I want to reach out to you Kiss you Touch you Hold you

Heal you I don’t even really know with what intention and I can’t figure out if this is wrong or not TLM 2010

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