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hits like Drive and Moneyball we have now hit the lull just before the holiday releases Three movies vomited their way onto screens this past weekend and those of you skilled in observation may have a good idea of which two ! watched so that you don"t have to #o sit down$ shut up$ stop browsing shady porn sites$ and appreciate the fuck out of me !t"s another goddamned double feature 50/50 ! have recently fallen for %oseph &ordon'(evitt )verything from the$ at best$ mediocre sitcom *rd +ock ,rom the #un to the stunning indie'flick -rick The combination of him and the underappreciated director %onathan (evine .he directed /The 0ackness1 a gem of a film that cemented my admiration for him2 ! was understandably e3cited for this film but was not 4005 on bored because it had one -!& potential problem6 tone 50/50 had to balance the dark seriousness of cancer with the light hearted$ pot headed$ humor of #eth +ogen This is tricky because you can"t just put jokes ne3t to the serious scenes you need to blend them !f you fuck up with your dialogue$ character arcs$ or get terrible actors$ or shoot the entire movie while on speed$ then the jokes seem unfunny and the terminal illness becomes silly #o did they pull it off7 !s 50/50 a good balance between true tragedy and genuine humor7 8r is this just a terrible remake of that one 9dam #andler attempt to be taken seriously7 0ell you"re never going to find out:unless you read the ne3t few paragraphs 9dam .%&'(2 is a content man He has no car$ a bitchy but stable girlfriend$ a goof off best friend$ an overprotective mother$ a good job )verything is going his way then woops; He gets a super rare cancer <ow he must begin the struggle with the disease that will bring us and him along on the rollercoaster of emotions that is to be his fight to ether live or accept death !ts like ,unny people e3cept without the comedy/tragedy mi' oh wait$ ! mean without the struggle with a terminal illn' oh wait$ ! mean with out #eth +o' oh wait 9ctually 50/50 doesn"t have that much in common with ,unny =eople$ outside the premise and #eth +ogen that is 0hile ,unny =eople was more about making 9dam #andler likeable 50/50 is more about the struggle with the disease itself as well as the stages that people with terminal illnesses go through However the most important difference between the films is their stars To put it in a way that anyone can understand %oseph &ordon'(evitt is like a giant juicy burger cooked just to the border of rare and a bloody mess> topped with a fried egg$ and carameli?ed onions$ crunchy lettuce$ one big tomato slice$ and mayo and ketchup$ all placed between two perfectly toasted buns that have been lightly buttered 9dam #andler is like an old anchovy someone scrapes off their boot ! promise ! won"t rag on that washed up$ once funny$ but never again$ genuinely nice$ but completely unlikable 9dam #andler and talk about 50/50 some more +emember that tone ! was so worried about7 0ell ! am happy to report that 50/50
delivers perfectly 0hy is that7 9gain % &'( is an ama?ing actor who can pull of the duality of the film and he is at the top of his game in this film$ if it comes 8scar time and he"s not nominated ! will be a little sad The great acting is complimented by a great story well told ! looked up the writer he goes by the name 0ill +eiser who actually wrote$ produced and even played a small part in the movie His understanding of how to weave #eth +ogen"s frank statements$ into the tragedy of % &'("s life makes for a few scenes that will make you laugh a second before you start feeling so bad for 9dam that you call up the make'a'wish people and donate a couple thousand dollars !"m going to keep talking about the acting some more because it"s just all very$ very good 9ctually !"m going to say that this is all around the best acting ! have seen all year 9s ! have said %oseph &ordon'(evitt is incredible$ #eth +ogen while just being himself completes the duality and depth to the film 9nna @endrick is great as the young therapist trying to help 9dam through what could be his last months alive The bitch of a girlfriend almost comes across as sympathetic because of an ama?ing performance by -ryce Dallas Howard The parents of 9dam also get a special mention 0hile it is no surprise that 9njelica Huston can play an overprotective mother she still gets credit for understanding her role and not playing it up as much as other younger actresses have done in the past .#ee #arah %essica =arker in all of her movies ever 2 9dam"s 9l?heimer afflicted dad is played by #erge Houde$ and while he is only in about three scenes and rarely speaks his performance adds so much to the movie that the inclusion of his character never feels like a forced in tragedy to pump up the sympathy &reat writing$ great acting$ great directing makes for a great movie with depth in both its plot and its characters )ven #eth +ogen"s character is more than just a funny man The real clincher for me was the ending and while ! won"t spoil anything ! loved how it could have seriously ended in almost anyway Toward the end a sort of ultimatum is made that tells the audience that /this is it he"s going to go in there and he might not come out 1 ! could not guess what was going to happen$ he could have lived and it would have been a great film$ he could have died and it would have made a great film .or a few seconds ! thought it would end with a /he"s not cured of the disease but his emotional problems are coming to a close 1 9ll of those endings would have worked and it makes the last thirty minuets of the movie that much better Aay me ! got through an entire review without making a 50/50 pun -elieve me it was a struggle ! also can"t find anything to rag on in this movie$ it"s just good$ which is a shame because ! like to tear into a bad movie sometimes and ! have been starved of the pleasure recently Dream House !t might have been my need to see a terrible movie that drove me to see Dream House 4B hours after seeing 50/50 ! thought this movie would be complete shit The reason for this was the trailers !f you haven"t seen it ! will post a link to them at the end of this review !f ! don"t remove all desire to see this movie by that time feel free to watch them The trailers appear to spoil the big twist of the movie 8h my god H)"# the killer. .
! think that"s what that scribble says2 /TH) #H!<!<&1 /DFH.8h no:but wait then what the fuck is the rest of the movie about7 0ell don"t worry he actually didn"t do it !t was someone else. Turned (egit. 9ll of this is said in the trailer so this led me to believe that there was a second bigger mystery and twist in the film which might just prove me wrong for calling this movie shit right off the bat Do ! get to indulge my critiCuing lust to rip on a shitty movie7 0ill ! rip into it in a remotely coherent way7 0ell in the spirit of Dream House ! will just give you the answers up front$ spoiling all the mystery but then still build it up for about two pages The answers$ in order$ are yes$ no Dream House stars the usually good actor$ Daniel Draig$ and is directed by %im #heridan who started his career with some ama?ing movies$ including My (eft . !f they just got it out of the way and moved on to some good emotional stuff it might have been passable but no they assume that we didn"t watch the trailers and will be all shocked when the /twist1 gets pulled The plot is actually the biggest problem with the movie !t is$ as we professionals like to call it$ a cluster fuck <ow !"m going to spoil the movie completely because ! can"t e3plain why it"s so terrible otherwise #o if you still want to see it ! suggest you close this tab and go back to filling out your e'harmony profile ! need more set up then that to e3plain to you how shitty this movie is To help you understand what ! was e3periencing in the theater ! will share my disjointed scribbles that ! jotted down in my notebook . -ut who7.1E /Holy -alls1 /The #hining1 /The divorce dude is evil1 /7771 Ea doodle of a house on a cliffE /Fnfocused1.1 /7 0hat the hell hallucination71 0hile that also gives insight to my mental state it also revels that this movie despite trying so fucking hard to be mysterious it fails on all fronts 9fter the terrible clima3 where he discovers he is not the writer but a cra?y man the mystery of who killed his family is so obvious it huts !n the begging of the film we are introduced to Daniels neighbor a divorced women with a jerk of an e3'husband !t is immediately obvious that he killed the family and not Daniel ! hate to imagine what causes the writer and director .Aes ! take notes on the movie$ cause ! is so goddamned professional 2 /@inda looks like a shitty #hining mi3ed with #hutter !sland 1 /8ld (ady71 /H9.oot$ !n 9merica$ and !n the <ame of the .ather #adly his career has been heading in a horrible direction with his recent movies being the mediocre -rothers preceded by the terrible &et +ich or Die Tryin" These are unimportant factors because however good these people were or are at their jobs the movie definitely falls flat !f you stick around for another few paragraphs you may find out why Dream House is about a successful editor turned author Cuitting his job and moving into a new home with his wife and kids to write a book !f that sounds like the plot of #hining it"s because it is incredibly close but don"t worry because instead of being a movie with mystery and depth and spookiness it takes a #hutter !sland twist as it is reveled that Daniel Draig is actually a mental patient that was accused of murdering his own family <ow this movie still could have been good at this point 8kay whatever it"s reveled that he is not the killer$ now he has to figure out who really did it That could be enough$ he could fight through the memories of his family getting killed and come to terms with his hallucinations This seriously could have been the ne3t #hining but instead the mystery of him being the accused murder is built up for something like an hour when 0) 9(+)9DA @<80 0H9T H) !#.
rom the mind bendy films it takes the mystery of reality but doesn"t grasp that you"re not supposed to tell your audience the answer 9.rom the horror genre it only takes little girls and the short run time of just over G0 minuets . 0hile the plots pathetic attempts at being a psychological thriller fail the /horror1 aspect fails even harder The movie is not scary$ in any sense !t doesn"t even do the startle thing or the part where the monster hangs out behind the protagonist !t"s like they set out to make a scary mind bending horror movie and missed both the mind bending and the horror .to think people are actually so thick that they would actually be surprised by 9<ATH!<& in this movie 8h but there are so many other problems.T)+ you ask the Cuestion ! could go on rambling$ ! really could there is not a bright spot in this film anywhere This is good it will serve as an e3ample to others of how not to do it !t also proves the old adage of /%ust because everything"s on fire does not mean it"s a satisfying clima3 1 Dongrats you got through one of my longer reviews ! hope it distracted you for a few minuets from your incredibly important life !f you are still have trouble deciding which one to go see then you are probably illiterate and should spend your money on a tutor instead of a movie -ut your probably to stupid to reali?e that so let me put my opinion in a way you will understand 50/50 is like a big tasty chicken breast that has been garnished with a spicy mango sauce$ a few parsley leafs$ and just a hint of garlic that is complimented nicely by the side of fluffy garlic mashed potatoes hand made by Mitch 8mar 9lso the potatoes were grown in the &arden of )den:also the meal comes with a complimentary H4$000 bill:9lso you get a free puppy Dream House is like eating a cold McDonalds hamburger that someone dropped in a puddle:also the burger has to be eaten off of a hairy$ fat guys$ bare chest:also the fat guy slaps you in the face as you eat it E The /Turned (egit1 thing is because of a hilarious trailer for a new Mark 0alberg movie called Dontraband !t"s just hilarious$ watch it .
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