Transcribed from the 1892 George Bell and Sons edition by

David Price, email ccx!"#coventry$ac$%&
G%lliver's Travels into Several (emote )ations of the *orld
by +onathan S,ift
T-. P/B01S-.( T2 T-. (.3D.($
43s given in the original edition$5
The a%thor of these Travels, 6r$ 0em%el G%lliver, is my ancient and
intimate friend7 there is li&e,ise some relation bet,een %s on the
mother's side$ 3bo%t three years ago, 6r$ G%lliver gro,ing ,eary
of the conco%rse of c%rio%s 8eo8le coming to him at his ho%se in
(edriff, made a small 8%rchase of land, ,ith a convenient ho%se,
near )e,ar&, in )ottinghamshire, his native co%ntry7 ,here he no,
lives retired, yet in good esteem among his neighbo%rs$
3ltho%gh 6r$ G%lliver ,as born in )ottinghamshire, ,here his father
d,elt, yet 1 have heard him say his family came from 2xfordshire7
to confirm ,hich, 1 have observed in the ch%rchyard at Banb%ry in
that co%nty, several tombs and mon%ments of the G%llivers$
Before he 9%itted (edriff, he left the c%stody of the follo,ing
8a8ers in my hands, ,ith the liberty to dis8ose of them as 1 sho%ld
thin& fit$ 1 have caref%lly 8er%sed them three times$ The style
is very 8lain and sim8le7 and the only fa%lt 1 find is, that the
a%thor, after the manner of travellers, is a little too
circ%mstantial$ There is an air of tr%th a88arent thro%gh the
,hole7 and indeed the a%thor ,as so disting%ished for his veracity,
that it became a sort of 8roverb among his neighbo%rs at (edriff,
,hen any one affirmed a thing, to say, it ,as as tr%e as if 6r$
G%lliver had s8o&en it$
By the advice of several ,orthy 8ersons, to ,hom, ,ith the a%thor's
8ermission, 1 comm%nicated these 8a8ers, 1 no, vent%re to send them
into the ,orld, ho8ing they may be, at least for some time, a
better entertainment to o%r yo%ng noblemen, than the common
scribbles of 8olitics and 8arty$
This vol%me ,o%ld have been at least t,ice as large, if 1 had not
made bold to stri&e o%t inn%merable 8assages relating to the ,inds
and tides, as ,ell as to the variations and bearings in the several
voyages, together ,ith the min%te descri8tions of the management of
the shi8 in storms, in the style of sailors7 li&e,ise the acco%nt
of longit%des and latit%des7 ,herein 1 have reason to a88rehend,
that 6r$ G%lliver may be a little dissatisfied$ B%t 1 ,as resolved
to fit the ,or& as m%ch as 8ossible to the general ca8acity of
readers$ -o,ever, if my o,n ignorance in sea affairs shall have
led me to commit some mista&es, 1 alone am ans,erable for them$
3nd if any traveller hath a c%riosity to see the ,hole ,or& at
large, as it came from the hands of the a%thor, 1 ,ill be ready to
gratify him$
3s for any f%rther 8artic%lars relating to the a%thor, the reader
,ill receive satisfaction from the first 8ages of the boo&$
(1:-3(D S;6PS2)$
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*(1TT.) 1) T-. ;.3( 1!2!$
1 ho8e yo% ,ill be ready to o,n 8%blicly, ,henever yo% shall be
called to it, that by yo%r great and fre9%ent %rgency yo% 8revailed
on me to 8%blish a very loose and %ncorrect acco%nt of my travels,
,ith directions to hire some yo%ng gentleman of either %niversity
to 8%t them in order, and correct the style, as my co%sin Dam8ier
did, by my advice, in his boo& called >3 =oyage ro%nd the ,orld$>
B%t 1 do not remember 1 gave yo% 8o,er to consent that any thing
sho%ld be omitted, and m%ch less that any thing sho%ld be inserted7
therefore, as to the latter, 1 do here reno%nce every thing of that
&ind7 8artic%larly a 8aragra8h abo%t her ma?esty @%een 3nne, of
most 8io%s and glorio%s memory7 altho%gh 1 did reverence and esteem
her more than any of h%man s8ecies$ B%t yo%, or yo%r inter8olator,
o%ght to have considered, that it ,as not my inclination, so ,as it
not decent to 8raise any animal of o%r com8osition before my master
-o%yhnhnmA 3nd besides, the fact ,as altogether false7 for to my
&no,ledge, being in .ngland d%ring some 8art of her ma?esty's
reign, she did govern by a chief minister7 nay even by t,o
s%ccessively, the first ,hereof ,as the lord of Godol8hin, and the
second the lord of 2xford7 so that yo% have made me say the thing
that ,as not$ 0i&e,ise in the acco%nt of the academy of
8ro?ectors, and several 8assages of my disco%rse to my master
-o%yhnhnm, yo% have either omitted some material circ%mstances, or
minced or changed them in s%ch a manner, that 1 do hardly &no, my
o,n ,or&$ *hen 1 formerly hinted to yo% something of this in a
letter, yo% ,ere 8leased to ans,er that yo% ,ere afraid of giving
offence7 that 8eo8le in 8o,er ,ere very ,atchf%l over the 8ress,
and a8t not only to inter8ret, b%t to 8%nish every thing ,hich
loo&ed li&e an inn%endo Bas 1 thin& yo% call itC$ B%t, 8ray ho,
co%ld that ,hich 1 s8o&e so many years ago, and at abo%t five
tho%sand leag%es distance, in another reign, be a88lied to any of
the ;ahoos, ,ho no, are said to govern the herd7 es8ecially at a
time ,hen 1 little tho%ght, or feared, the %nha88iness of living
%nder themD -ave not 1 the most reason to com8lain, ,hen 1 see
these very ;ahoos carried by -o%yhnhnms in a vehicle, as if they
,ere br%tes, and those the rational creat%resD 3nd indeed to avoid
so monstro%s and detestable a sight ,as one 8rinci8al motive of my
retirement hither$
Th%s m%ch 1 tho%ght 8ro8er to tell yo% in relation to yo%rself, and
to the tr%st 1 re8osed in yo%$
1 do, in the next 8lace, com8lain of my o,n great ,ant of ?%dgment,
in being 8revailed %8on by the entreaties and false reasoning of
yo% and some others, very m%ch against my o,n o8inion, to s%ffer my
travels to be 8%blished$ Pray bring to yo%r mind ho, often 1
desired yo% to consider, ,hen yo% insisted on the motive of 8%blic
good, that the ;ahoos ,ere a s8ecies of animals %tterly inca8able
of amendment by 8rece8t or exam8leA and so it has 8roved7 for,
instead of seeing a f%ll sto8 8%t to all ab%ses and corr%8tions, at
least in this little island, as 1 had reason to ex8ect7 behold,
after above six months ,arning, 1 cannot learn that my boo& has
8rod%ced one single effect according to my intentions$ 1 desired
yo% ,o%ld let me &no,, by a letter, ,hen 8arty and faction ,ere
exting%ished7 ?%dges learned and %8right7 8leaders honest and
modest, ,ith some tinct%re of common sense, and Smithfield blaEing
,ith 8yramids of la, boo&s7 the yo%ng nobility's ed%cation entirely
changed7 the 8hysicians banished7 the female ;ahoos abo%nding in
virt%e, hono%r, tr%th, and good sense7 co%rts and levees of great
ministers thoro%ghly ,eeded and s,e8t7 ,it, merit, and learning
re,arded7 all disgracers of the 8ress in 8rose and verse condemned
to eat nothing b%t their o,n cotton, and 9%ench their thirst ,ith
their o,n in&$ These, and a tho%sand other reformations, 1 firmly
co%nted %8on by yo%r enco%ragement7 as indeed they ,ere 8lainly
ded%cible from the 8rece8ts delivered in my boo&$ 3nd it m%st be
o,ned, that seven months ,ere a s%fficient time to correct every
vice and folly to ,hich ;ahoos are s%b?ect, if their nat%res had
been ca8able of the least dis8osition to virt%e or ,isdom$ ;et, so
far have yo% been from ans,ering my ex8ectation in any of yo%r
letters7 that on the contrary yo% are loading o%r carrier every
,ee& ,ith libels, and &eys, and reflections, and memoirs, and
second 8arts7 ,herein 1 see myself acc%sed of reflecting %8on great
state fol&7 of degrading h%man nat%re Bfor so they have still the
confidence to style itC, and of ab%sing the female sex$ 1 find
li&e,ise that the ,riters of those b%ndles are not agreed among
themselves7 for some of them ,ill not allo, me to be the a%thor of
my o,n travels7 and others ma&e me a%thor of boo&s to ,hich 1 am
,holly a stranger$
1 find li&e,ise that yo%r 8rinter has been so careless as to
confo%nd the times, and mista&e the dates, of my several voyages
and ret%rns7 neither assigning the tr%e year, nor the tr%e month,
nor day of the monthA and 1 hear the original man%scri8t is all
destroyed since the 8%blication of my boo&7 neither have 1 any co8y
leftA ho,ever, 1 have sent yo% some corrections, ,hich yo% may
insert, if ever there sho%ld be a second editionA and yet 1 cannot
stand to them7 b%t shall leave that matter to my ?%dicio%s and
candid readers to ad?%st it as they 8lease$
1 hear some of o%r sea ;ahoos find fa%lt ,ith my seaFlang%age, as
not 8ro8er in many 8arts, nor no, in %se$ 1 cannot hel8 it$ 1n my
first voyages, ,hile 1 ,as yo%ng, 1 ,as instr%cted by the oldest
mariners, and learned to s8ea& as they did$ B%t 1 have since fo%nd
that the sea ;ahoos are a8t, li&e the land ones, to become ne,F
fangled in their ,ords, ,hich the latter change every year7
insom%ch, as 1 remember %8on each ret%rn to my o,n co%ntry their
old dialect ,as so altered, that 1 co%ld hardly %nderstand the ne,$
3nd 1 observe, ,hen any ;ahoo comes from 0ondon o%t of c%riosity to
visit me at my ho%se, ,e neither of %s are able to deliver o%r
conce8tions in a manner intelligible to the other$
1f the cens%re of the ;ahoos co%ld any ,ay affect me, 1 sho%ld have
great reason to com8lain, that some of them are so bold as to thin&
my boo& of travels a mere fiction o%t of mine o,n brain, and have
gone so far as to dro8 hints, that the -o%yhnhnms and ;ahoos have
no more existence than the inhabitants of /to8ia$
1ndeed 1 m%st confess, that as to the 8eo8le of 0illi8%t,
Brobdingrag Bfor so the ,ord sho%ld have been s8elt, and not
erroneo%sly BrobdingnagC, and 0a8%ta, 1 have never yet heard of any
;ahoo so 8res%m8t%o%s as to dis8%te their being, or the facts 1
have related concerning them7 beca%se the tr%th immediately stri&es
every reader ,ith conviction$ 3nd is there less 8robability in my
acco%nt of the -o%yhnhnms or ;ahoos, ,hen it is manifest as to the
latter, there are so many tho%sands even in this co%ntry, ,ho only
differ from their brother br%tes in -o%yhnhnmland, beca%se they %se
a sort of ?abber, and do not go na&edD 1 ,rote for their
amendment, and not their a88robation$ The %nited 8raise of the
,hole race ,o%ld be of less conse9%ence to me, than the neighing of
those t,o degenerate -o%yhnhnms 1 &ee8 in my stable7 beca%se from
these, degenerate as they are, 1 still im8rove in some virt%es
,itho%t any mixt%re of vice$
Do these miserable animals 8res%me to thin&, that 1 am so
degenerated as to defend my veracityD ;ahoo as 1 am, it is ,ell
&no,n thro%gh all -o%yhnhnmland, that, by the instr%ctions and
exam8le of my ill%strio%s master, 1 ,as able in the com8ass of t,o
years Baltho%gh 1 confess ,ith the %tmost diffic%ltyC to remove
that infernal habit of lying, sh%ffling, deceiving, and
e9%ivocating, so dee8ly rooted in the very so%ls of all my s8ecies7
es8ecially the .%ro8eans$
1 have other com8laints to ma&e %8on this vexatio%s occasion7 b%t 1
forbear tro%bling myself or yo% any f%rther$ 1 m%st freely
confess, that since my last ret%rn, some corr%8tions of my ;ahoo
nat%re have revived in me by conversing ,ith a fe, of yo%r s8ecies,
and 8artic%larly those of my o,n family, by an %navoidable
necessity7 else 1 sho%ld never have attem8ted so abs%rd a 8ro?ect
as that of reforming the ;ahoo race in this &ingdomA B%t 1 have
no, done ,ith all s%ch visionary schemes for ever$
38ril 2, 1!2!
P3(T 1FF3 =2;3G. T2 01001P/T$
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4The a%thor gives some acco%nt of himself and family$ -is first
ind%cements to travel$ -e is shi8,rec&ed, and s,ims for his life$
Gets safe on shore in the co%ntry of 0illi8%t7 is made a 8risoner,
and carried %8 the co%ntry$5
6y father had a small estate in )ottinghamshireA 1 ,as the third
of five sons$ -e sent me to .man%el :ollege in :ambridge at
fo%rteen years old, ,here 1 resided three years, and a88lied myself
close to my st%dies7 b%t the charge of maintaining me, altho%gh 1
had a very scanty allo,ance, being too great for a narro, fort%ne,
1 ,as bo%nd a88rentice to 6r$ +ames Bates, an eminent s%rgeon in
0ondon, ,ith ,hom 1 contin%ed fo%r years$ 6y father no, and then
sending me small s%ms of money, 1 laid them o%t in learning
navigation, and other 8arts of the mathematics, %sef%l to those ,ho
intend to travel, as 1 al,ays believed it ,o%ld be, some time or
other, my fort%ne to do$ *hen 1 left 6r$ Bates, 1 ,ent do,n to my
fatherA ,here, by the assistance of him and my %ncle +ohn, and
some other relations, 1 got forty 8o%nds, and a 8romise of thirty
8o%nds a year to maintain me at 0eydenA there 1 st%died 8hysic t,o
years and seven months, &no,ing it ,o%ld be %sef%l in long voyages$
Soon after my ret%rn from 0eyden, 1 ,as recommended by my good
master, 6r$ Bates, to be s%rgeon to the S,allo,, :a8tain 3braham
Pannel, commander7 ,ith ,hom 1 contin%ed three years and a half,
ma&ing a voyage or t,o into the 0evant, and some other 8arts$ *hen
1 came bac& 1 resolved to settle in 0ondon7 to ,hich 6r$ Bates, my
master, enco%raged me, and by him 1 ,as recommended to several
8atients$ 1 too& 8art of a small ho%se in the 2ld +e,ry7 and being
advised to alter my condition, 1 married 6rs$ 6ary B%rton, second
da%ghter to 6r$ .dm%nd B%rton, hosier, in )e,gateFstreet, ,ith ,hom
1 received fo%r h%ndred 8o%nds for a 8ortion$
B%t my good master Bates dying in t,o years after, and 1 having fe,
friends, my b%siness began to fail7 for my conscience ,o%ld not
s%ffer me to imitate the bad 8ractice of too many among my
brethren$ -aving therefore cons%lted ,ith my ,ife, and some of my
ac9%aintance, 1 determined to go again to sea$ 1 ,as s%rgeon
s%ccessively in t,o shi8s, and made several voyages, for six years,
to the .ast and *est 1ndies, by ,hich 1 got some addition to my
fort%ne$ 6y ho%rs of leis%re 1 s8ent in reading the best a%thors,
ancient and modern, being al,ays 8rovided ,ith a good n%mber of
boo&s7 and ,hen 1 ,as ashore, in observing the manners and
dis8ositions of the 8eo8le, as ,ell as learning their lang%age7
,herein 1 had a great facility, by the strength of my memory$
The last of these voyages not 8roving very fort%nate, 1 gre, ,eary
of the sea, and intended to stay at home ,ith my ,ife and family$
1 removed from the 2ld +e,ry to <etter 0ane, and from thence to
*a88ing, ho8ing to get b%siness among the sailors7 b%t it ,o%ld not
t%rn to acco%nt$ 3fter three years ex8ectation that things ,o%ld
mend, 1 acce8ted an advantageo%s offer from :a8tain *illiam
Prichard, master of the 3ntelo8e, ,ho ,as ma&ing a voyage to the
So%th Sea$ *e set sail from Bristol, 6ay ", 1G99, and o%r voyage
,as at first very 8ros8ero%s$
1t ,o%ld not be 8ro8er, for some reasons, to tro%ble the reader
,ith the 8artic%lars of o%r advent%res in those seas7 let it
s%ffice to inform him, that in o%r 8assage from thence to the .ast
1ndies, ,e ,ere driven by a violent storm to the northF,est of =an
Diemen's 0and$ By an observation, ,e fo%nd o%rselves in the
latit%de of H degrees 2 min%tes so%th$ T,elve of o%r cre, ,ere
dead by immoderate labo%r and ill food7 the rest ,ere in a very
,ea& condition$ 2n the Ith of )ovember, ,hich ,as the beginning of
s%mmer in those 8arts, the ,eather being very haEy, the seamen
s8ied a roc& ,ithin half a cable's length of the shi87 b%t the ,ind
,as so strong, that ,e ,ere driven directly %8on it, and
immediately s8lit$ Six of the cre,, of ,hom 1 ,as one, having let
do,n the boat into the sea, made a shift to get clear of the shi8
and the roc&$ *e ro,ed, by my com8%tation, abo%t three leag%es,
till ,e ,ere able to ,or& no longer, being already s8ent ,ith
labo%r ,hile ,e ,ere in the shi8$ *e therefore tr%sted o%rselves
to the mercy of the ,aves, and in abo%t half an ho%r the boat ,as
overset by a s%dden fl%rry from the north$ *hat became of my
com8anions in the boat, as ,ell as of those ,ho esca8ed on the
roc&, or ,ere left in the vessel, 1 cannot tell7 b%t concl%de they
,ere all lost$ <or my o,n 8art, 1 s,am as fort%ne directed me, and
,as 8%shed for,ard by ,ind and tide$ 1 often let my legs dro8, and
co%ld feel no bottom7 b%t ,hen 1 ,as almost gone, and able to
str%ggle no longer, 1 fo%nd myself ,ithin my de8th7 and by this
time the storm ,as m%ch abated$ The declivity ,as so small, that 1
,al&ed near a mile before 1 got to the shore, ,hich 1 con?ect%red
,as abo%t eight o'cloc& in the evening$ 1 then advanced for,ard
near half a mile, b%t co%ld not discover any sign of ho%ses or
inhabitants7 at least 1 ,as in so ,ea& a condition, that 1 did not
observe them$ 1 ,as extremely tired, and ,ith that, and the heat
of the ,eather, and abo%t half a 8int of brandy that 1 dran& as 1
left the shi8, 1 fo%nd myself m%ch inclined to slee8$ 1 lay do,n
on the grass, ,hich ,as very short and soft, ,here 1 sle8t so%nder
than ever 1 remembered to have done in my life, and, as 1 rec&oned,
abo%t nine ho%rs7 for ,hen 1 a,a&ed, it ,as ?%st dayFlight$ 1
attem8ted to rise, b%t ,as not able to stirA for, as 1 ha88ened to
lie on my bac&, 1 fo%nd my arms and legs ,ere strongly fastened on
each side to the gro%nd7 and my hair, ,hich ,as long and thic&,
tied do,n in the same manner$ 1 li&e,ise felt several slender
ligat%res across my body, from my armF8its to my thighs$ 1 co%ld
only loo& %8,ards7 the s%n began to gro, hot, and the light
offended my eyes$ 1 heard a conf%sed noise abo%t me7 b%t in the
8ost%re 1 lay, co%ld see nothing exce8t the s&y$ 1n a little time
1 felt something alive moving on my left leg, ,hich advancing
gently for,ard over my breast, came almost %8 to my chin7 ,hen,
bending my eyes do,n,ards as m%ch as 1 co%ld, 1 8erceived it to be
a h%man creat%re not six inches high, ,ith a bo, and arro, in his
hands, and a 9%iver at his bac&$ 1n the mean time, 1 felt at least
forty more of the same &ind Bas 1 con?ect%redC follo,ing the first$
1 ,as in the %tmost astonishment, and roared so lo%d, that they all
ran bac& in a fright7 and some of them, as 1 ,as after,ards told,
,ere h%rt ,ith the falls they got by lea8ing from my sides %8on the
gro%nd$ -o,ever, they soon ret%rned, and one of them, ,ho vent%red
so far as to get a f%ll sight of my face, lifting %8 his hands and
eyes by ,ay of admiration, cried o%t in a shrill b%t distinct
voice, -e&inah deg%lA the others re8eated the same ,ords several
times, b%t then 1 &ne, not ,hat they meant$ 1 lay all this ,hile,
as the reader may believe, in great %neasiness$ 3t length,
str%ggling to get loose, 1 had the fort%ne to brea& the strings,
and ,rench o%t the 8egs that fastened my left arm to the gro%nd7
for, by lifting it %8 to my face, 1 discovered the methods they had
ta&en to bind me, and at the same time ,ith a violent 8%ll, ,hich
gave me excessive 8ain, 1 a little loosened the strings that tied
do,n my hair on the left side, so that 1 ,as ?%st able to t%rn my
head abo%t t,o inches$ B%t the creat%res ran off a second time,
before 1 co%ld seiEe them7 ,here%8on there ,as a great sho%t in a
very shrill accent, and after it ceased 1 heard one of them cry
alo%d Tolgo 8honac7 ,hen in an instant 1 felt above a h%ndred
arro,s discharged on my left hand, ,hich, 8ric&ed me li&e so many
needles7 and besides, they shot another flight into the air, as ,e
do bombs in .%ro8e, ,hereof many, 1 s%88ose, fell on my body,
Btho%gh 1 felt them notC, and some on my face, ,hich 1 immediately
covered ,ith my left hand$ *hen this sho,er of arro,s ,as over, 1
fell a groaning ,ith grief and 8ain7 and then striving again to get
loose, they discharged another volley larger than the first, and
some of them attem8ted ,ith s8ears to stic& me in the sides7 b%t by
good l%c& 1 had on a b%ff ?er&in, ,hich they co%ld not 8ierce$ 1
tho%ght it the most 8r%dent method to lie still, and my design ,as
to contin%e so till night, ,hen, my left hand being already loose,
1 co%ld easily free myselfA and as for the inhabitants, 1 had
reason to believe 1 might be a match for the greatest army they
co%ld bring against me, if they ,ere all of the same siEe ,ith him
that 1 sa,$ B%t fort%ne dis8osed other,ise of me$ *hen the 8eo8le
observed 1 ,as 9%iet, they discharged no more arro,s7 b%t, by the
noise 1 heard, 1 &ne, their n%mbers increased7 and abo%t fo%r yards
from me, over against my right ear, 1 heard a &noc&ing for above an
ho%r, li&e that of 8eo8le at ,or&7 ,hen t%rning my head that ,ay,
as ,ell as the 8egs and strings ,o%ld 8ermit me, 1 sa, a stage
erected abo%t a foot and a half from the gro%nd, ca8able of holding
fo%r of the inhabitants, ,ith t,o or three ladders to mo%nt itA
from ,hence one of them, ,ho seemed to be a 8erson of 9%ality, made
me a long s8eech, ,hereof 1 %nderstood not one syllable$ B%t 1
sho%ld have mentioned, that before the 8rinci8al 8erson began his
oration, he cried o%t three times, 0angro deh%l san Bthese ,ords
and the former ,ere after,ards re8eated and ex8lained to meC7
,here%8on, immediately, abo%t fifty of the inhabitants came and c%t
the strings that fastened the left side of my head, ,hich gave me
the liberty of t%rning it to the right, and of observing the 8erson
and gest%re of him that ,as to s8ea&$ -e a88eared to be of a
middle age, and taller than any of the other three ,ho attended
him, ,hereof one ,as a 8age that held %8 his train, and seemed to
be some,hat longer than my middle finger7 the other t,o stood one
on each side to s%88ort him$ -e acted every 8art of an orator, and
1 co%ld observe many 8eriods of threatenings, and others of
8romises, 8ity, and &indness$ 1 ans,ered in a fe, ,ords, b%t in
the most s%bmissive manner, lifting %8 my left hand, and both my
eyes to the s%n, as calling him for a ,itness7 and being almost
famished ,ith h%nger, having not eaten a morsel for some ho%rs
before 1 left the shi8, 1 fo%nd the demands of nat%re so strong
%8on me, that 1 co%ld not forbear sho,ing my im8atience B8erha8s
against the strict r%les of decencyC by 8%tting my finger
fre9%ently to my mo%th, to signify that 1 ,anted food$ The h%rgo
Bfor so they call a great lord, as 1 after,ards learntC %nderstood
me very ,ell$ -e descended from the stage, and commanded that
several ladders sho%ld be a88lied to my sides, on ,hich above a
h%ndred of the inhabitants mo%nted and ,al&ed to,ards my mo%th,
laden ,ith bas&ets f%ll of meat, ,hich had been 8rovided and sent
thither by the &ing's orders, %8on the first intelligence he
received of me$ 1 observed there ,as the flesh of several animals,
b%t co%ld not disting%ish them by the taste$ There ,ere sho%lders,
legs, and loins, sha8ed li&e those of m%tton, and very ,ell
dressed, b%t smaller than the ,ings of a lar&$ 1 ate them by t,o
or three at a mo%thf%l, and too& three loaves at a time, abo%t the
bigness of m%s&et b%llets$ They s%88lied me as fast as they co%ld,
sho,ing a tho%sand mar&s of ,onder and astonishment at my b%l& and
a88etite$ 1 then made another sign, that 1 ,anted drin&$ They
fo%nd by my eating that a small 9%antity ,o%ld not s%ffice me7 and
being a most ingenio%s 8eo8le, they sl%ng %8, ,ith great dexterity,
one of their largest hogsheads, then rolled it to,ards my hand, and
beat o%t the to87 1 dran& it off at a dra%ght, ,hich 1 might ,ell
do, for it did not hold half a 8int, and tasted li&e a small ,ine
of B%rg%ndy, b%t m%ch more delicio%s$ They bro%ght me a second
hogshead, ,hich 1 dran& in the same manner, and made signs for
more7 b%t they had none to give me$ *hen 1 had 8erformed these
,onders, they sho%ted for ?oy, and danced %8on my breast, re8eating
several times as they did at first, -e&inah deg%l$ They made me a
sign that 1 sho%ld thro, do,n the t,o hogsheads, b%t first ,arning
the 8eo8le belo, to stand o%t of the ,ay, crying alo%d, Borach
mevolah7 and ,hen they sa, the vessels in the air, there ,as a
%niversal sho%t of -e&inah deg%l$ 1 confess 1 ,as often tem8ted,
,hile they ,ere 8assing bac&,ards and for,ards on my body, to seiEe
forty or fifty of the first that came in my reach, and dash them
against the gro%nd$ B%t the remembrance of ,hat 1 had felt, ,hich
8robably might not be the ,orst they co%ld do, and the 8romise of
hono%r 1 made themFFfor so 1 inter8reted my s%bmissive behavio%rFF
soon drove o%t these imaginations$ Besides, 1 no, considered
myself as bo%nd by the la,s of hos8itality, to a 8eo8le ,ho had
treated me ,ith so m%ch ex8ense and magnificence$ -o,ever, in my
tho%ghts 1 co%ld not s%fficiently ,onder at the intre8idity of
these dimin%tive mortals, ,ho d%rst vent%re to mo%nt and ,al& %8on
my body, ,hile one of my hands ,as at liberty, ,itho%t trembling at
the very sight of so 8rodigio%s a creat%re as 1 m%st a88ear to
them$ 3fter some time, ,hen they observed that 1 made no more
demands for meat, there a88eared before me a 8erson of high ran&
from his im8erial ma?esty$ -is excellency, having mo%nted on the
small of my right leg, advanced for,ards %8 to my face, ,ith abo%t
a doEen of his retin%e7 and 8rod%cing his credentials %nder the
signet royal, ,hich he a88lied close to my eyes, s8o&e abo%t ten
min%tes ,itho%t any signs of anger, b%t ,ith a &ind of determinate
resol%tion, often 8ointing for,ards, ,hich, as 1 after,ards fo%nd,
,as to,ards the ca8ital city, abo%t half a mile distant7 ,hither it
,as agreed by his ma?esty in co%ncil that 1 m%st be conveyed$ 1
ans,ered in fe, ,ords, b%t to no 8%r8ose, and made a sign ,ith my
hand that ,as loose, 8%tting it to the other Bb%t over his
excellency's head for fear of h%rting him or his trainC and then to
my o,n head and body, to signify that 1 desired my liberty$ 1t
a88eared that he %nderstood me ,ell eno%gh, for he shoo& his head
by ,ay of disa88robation, and held his hand in a 8ost%re to sho,
that 1 m%st be carried as a 8risoner$ -o,ever, he made other signs
to let me %nderstand that 1 sho%ld have meat and drin& eno%gh, and
very good treatment$ *here%8on 1 once more tho%ght of attem8ting
to brea& my bonds7 b%t again, ,hen 1 felt the smart of their arro,s
%8on my face and hands, ,hich ,ere all in blisters, and many of the
darts still stic&ing in them, and observing li&e,ise that the
n%mber of my enemies increased, 1 gave to&ens to let them &no, that
they might do ,ith me ,hat they 8leased$ /8on this, the h%rgo and
his train ,ithdre,, ,ith m%ch civility and cheerf%l co%ntenances$
Soon after 1 heard a general sho%t, ,ith fre9%ent re8etitions of
the ,ords Pe8lom selan7 and 1 felt great n%mbers of 8eo8le on my
left side relaxing the cords to s%ch a degree, that 1 ,as able to
t%rn %8on my right, and to ease myself ,ith ma&ing ,ater7 ,hich 1
very 8lentif%lly did, to the great astonishment of the 8eo8le7 ,ho,
con?ect%ring by my motion ,hat 1 ,as going to do, immediately
o8ened to the right and left on that side, to avoid the torrent,
,hich fell ,ith s%ch noise and violence from me$ B%t before this,
they had da%bed my face and both my hands ,ith a sort of ointment,
very 8leasant to the smell, ,hich, in a fe, min%tes, removed all
the smart of their arro,s$ These circ%mstances, added to the
refreshment 1 had received by their vict%als and drin&, ,hich ,ere
very no%rishing, dis8osed me to slee8$ 1 sle8t abo%t eight ho%rs,
as 1 ,as after,ards ass%red7 and it ,as no ,onder, for the
8hysicians, by the em8eror's order, had mingled a slee8y 8otion in
the hogsheads of ,ine$
1t seems, that %8on the first moment 1 ,as discovered slee8ing on
the gro%nd, after my landing, the em8eror had early notice of it by
an ex8ress7 and determined in co%ncil, that 1 sho%ld be tied in the
manner 1 have related, B,hich ,as done in the night ,hile 1 sle8t7C
that 8lenty of meat and drin& sho%ld be sent to me, and a machine
8re8ared to carry me to the ca8ital city$
This resol%tion 8erha8s may a88ear very bold and dangero%s, and 1
am confident ,o%ld not be imitated by any 8rince in .%ro8e on the
li&e occasion$ -o,ever, in my o8inion, it ,as extremely 8r%dent,
as ,ell as genero%sA for, s%88osing these 8eo8le had endeavo%red
to &ill me ,ith their s8ears and arro,s, ,hile 1 ,as aslee8, 1
sho%ld certainly have a,a&ed ,ith the first sense of smart, ,hich
might so far have ro%sed my rage and strength, as to have enabled
me to brea& the strings ,here,ith 1 ,as tied7 after ,hich, as they
,ere not able to ma&e resistance, so they co%ld ex8ect no mercy$
These 8eo8le are most excellent mathematicians, and arrived to a
great 8erfection in mechanics, by the co%ntenance and enco%ragement
of the em8eror, ,ho is a reno,ned 8atron of learning$ This 8rince
has several machines fixed on ,heels, for the carriage of trees and
other great ,eights$ -e often b%ilds his largest men of ,ar,
,hereof some are nine feet long, in the ,oods ,here the timber
gro,s, and has them carried on these engines three or fo%r h%ndred
yards to the sea$ <ive h%ndred car8enters and engineers ,ere
immediately set at ,or& to 8re8are the greatest engine they had$
1t ,as a frame of ,ood raised three inches from the gro%nd, abo%t
seven feet long, and fo%r ,ide, moving %8on t,entyFt,o ,heels$ The
sho%t 1 heard ,as %8on the arrival of this engine, ,hich, it seems,
set o%t in fo%r ho%rs after my landing$ 1t ,as bro%ght 8arallel to
me, as 1 lay$ B%t the 8rinci8al diffic%lty ,as to raise and 8lace
me in this vehicle$ .ighty 8oles, each of one foot high, ,ere
erected for this 8%r8ose, and very strong cords, of the bigness of
8ac&thread, ,ere fastened by hoo&s to many bandages, ,hich the
,or&men had girt ro%nd my nec&, my hands, my body, and my legs$
)ine h%ndred of the strongest men ,ere em8loyed to dra, %8 these
cords, by many 8%lleys fastened on the 8oles7 and th%s, in less
than three ho%rs, 1 ,as raised and sl%ng into the engine, and there
tied fast$ 3ll this 1 ,as told7 for, ,hile the o8eration ,as
8erforming, 1 lay in a 8rofo%nd slee8, by the force of that
so8orifero%s medicine inf%sed into my li9%or$ <ifteen h%ndred of
the em8eror's largest horses, each abo%t fo%r inches and a half
high, ,ere em8loyed to dra, me to,ards the metro8olis, ,hich, as 1
said, ,as half a mile distant$
3bo%t fo%r ho%rs after ,e began o%r ?o%rney, 1 a,a&ed by a very
ridic%lo%s accident7 for the carriage being sto88ed a ,hile, to
ad?%st something that ,as o%t of order, t,o or three of the yo%ng
natives had the c%riosity to see ho, 1 loo&ed ,hen 1 ,as aslee87
they climbed %8 into the engine, and advancing very softly to my
face, one of them, an officer in the g%ards, 8%t the shar8 end of
his halfF8i&e a good ,ay %8 into my left nostril, ,hich tic&led my
nose li&e a stra,, and made me sneeEe violently7 ,here%8on they
stole off %n8erceived, and it ,as three ,ee&s before 1 &ne, the
ca%se of my ,a&ing so s%ddenly$ *e made a long march the remaining
8art of the day, and, rested at night ,ith five h%ndred g%ards on
each side of me, half ,ith torches, and half ,ith bo,s and arro,s,
ready to shoot me if 1 sho%ld offer to stir$ The next morning at
s%nFrise ,e contin%ed o%r march, and arrived ,ithin t,o h%ndred
yards of the city gates abo%t noon$ The em8eror, and all his
co%rt, came o%t to meet %s7 b%t his great officers ,o%ld by no
means s%ffer his ma?esty to endanger his 8erson by mo%nting on my
3t the 8lace ,here the carriage sto88ed there stood an ancient
tem8le, esteemed to be the largest in the ,hole &ingdom7 ,hich,
having been 8oll%ted some years before by an %nnat%ral m%rder, ,as,
according to the Eeal of those 8eo8le, loo&ed %8on as 8rofane, and
therefore had been a88lied to common %se, and all the ornaments and
f%rnit%re carried a,ay$ 1n this edifice it ,as determined 1 sho%ld
lodge$ The great gate fronting to the north ,as abo%t fo%r feet
high, and almost t,o feet ,ide, thro%gh ,hich 1 co%ld easily cree8$
2n each side of the gate ,as a small ,indo,, not above six inches
from the gro%ndA into that on the left side, the &ing's smith
conveyed fo%rscore and eleven chains, li&e those that hang to a
lady's ,atch in .%ro8e, and almost as large, ,hich ,ere loc&ed to
my left leg ,ith sixFandFthirty 8adloc&s$ 2ver against this
tem8le, on the other side of the great high,ay, at t,enty feet
distance, there ,as a t%rret at least five feet high$ -ere the
em8eror ascended, ,ith many 8rinci8al lords of his co%rt, to have
an o88ort%nity of vie,ing me, as 1 ,as told, for 1 co%ld not see
them$ 1t ,as rec&oned that above a h%ndred tho%sand inhabitants
came o%t of the to,n %8on the same errand7 and, in s8ite of my
g%ards, 1 believe there co%ld not be fe,er than ten tho%sand at
several times, ,ho mo%nted my body by the hel8 of ladders$ B%t a
8roclamation ,as soon iss%ed, to forbid it %8on 8ain of death$
*hen the ,or&men fo%nd it ,as im8ossible for me to brea& loose,
they c%t all the strings that bo%nd me7 ,here%8on 1 rose %8, ,ith
as melancholy a dis8osition as ever 1 had in my life$ B%t the
noise and astonishment of the 8eo8le, at seeing me rise and ,al&,
are not to be ex8ressed$ The chains that held my left leg ,ere
abo%t t,o yards long, and gave me not only the liberty of ,al&ing
bac&,ards and for,ards in a semicircle, b%t, being fixed ,ithin
fo%r inches of the gate, allo,ed me to cree8 in, and lie at my f%ll
length in the tem8le$
:-3PT.( 11$
4The em8eror of 0illi8%t, attended by several of the nobility,
comes to see the a%thor in his confinement$ The em8eror's 8erson
and habit described$ 0earned men a88ointed to teach the a%thor
their lang%age$ -e gains favo%r by his mild dis8osition$ -is
8oc&ets are searched, and his s,ord and 8istols ta&en from him$5
*hen 1 fo%nd myself on my feet, 1 loo&ed abo%t me, and m%st confess
1 never beheld a more entertaining 8ros8ect$ The co%ntry aro%nd
a88eared li&e a contin%ed garden, and the enclosed fields, ,hich
,ere generally forty feet s9%are, resembled so many beds of
flo,ers$ These fields ,ere intermingled ,ith ,oods of half a
stang, J1K and the tallest trees, as 1 co%ld ?%dge, a88eared to be
seven feet high$ 1 vie,ed the to,n on my left hand, ,hich loo&ed
li&e the 8ainted scene of a city in a theatre$
1 had been for some ho%rs extremely 8ressed by the necessities of
nat%re7 ,hich ,as no ,onder, it being almost t,o days since 1 had
last disb%rdened myself$ 1 ,as %nder great diffic%lties bet,een
%rgency and shame$ The best ex8edient 1 co%ld thin& of, ,as to
cree8 into my ho%se, ,hich 1 accordingly did7 and sh%tting the gate
after me, 1 ,ent as far as the length of my chain ,o%ld s%ffer, and
discharged my body of that %neasy load$ B%t this ,as the only time
1 ,as ever g%ilty of so %ncleanly an action7 for ,hich 1 cannot b%t
ho8e the candid reader ,ill give some allo,ance, after he has
mat%rely and im8artially considered my case, and the distress 1 ,as
in$ <rom this time my constant 8ractice ,as, as soon as 1 rose, to
8erform that b%siness in o8en air, at the f%ll extent of my chain7
and d%e care ,as ta&en every morning before com8any came, that the
offensive matter sho%ld be carried off in ,heelFbarro,s, by t,o
servants a88ointed for that 8%r8ose$ 1 ,o%ld not have d,elt so
long %8on a circ%mstance that, 8erha8s, at first sight, may a88ear
not very momento%s, if 1 had not tho%ght it necessary to ?%stify my
character, in 8oint of cleanliness, to the ,orld7 ,hich, 1 am told,
some of my maligners have been 8leased, %8on this and other
occasions, to call in 9%estion$
*hen this advent%re ,as at an end, 1 came bac& o%t of my ho%se,
having occasion for fresh air$ The em8eror ,as already descended
from the to,er, and advancing on horsebac& to,ards me, ,hich had
li&e to have cost him dear7 for the beast, tho%gh very ,ell
trained, yet ,holly %n%sed to s%ch a sight, ,hich a88eared as if a
mo%ntain moved before him, reared %8 on its hinder feetA b%t that
8rince, ,ho is an excellent horseman, &e8t his seat, till his
attendants ran in, and held the bridle, ,hile his ma?esty had time
to dismo%nt$ *hen he alighted, he s%rveyed me ro%nd ,ith great
admiration7 b%t &e8t beyond the length of my chain$ -e ordered his
coo&s and b%tlers, ,ho ,ere already 8re8ared, to give me vict%als
and drin&, ,hich they 8%shed for,ard in a sort of vehicles %8on
,heels, till 1 co%ld reach them$ 1 too& these vehicles and soon
em8tied them all7 t,enty of them ,ere filled ,ith meat, and ten
,ith li9%or7 each of the former afforded me t,o or three good
mo%thf%ls7 and 1 em8tied the li9%or of ten vessels, ,hich ,as
contained in earthen vials, into one vehicle, drin&ing it off at a
dra%ght7 and so 1 did ,ith the rest$ The em8ress, and yo%ng
8rinces of the blood of both sexes, attended by many ladies, sat at
some distance in their chairs7 b%t %8on the accident that ha88ened
to the em8eror's horse, they alighted, and came near his 8erson,
,hich 1 am no, going to describe$ -e is taller by almost the
breadth of my nail, than any of his co%rt7 ,hich alone is eno%gh to
stri&e an a,e into the beholders$ -is feat%res are strong and
masc%line, ,ith an 3%strian li8 and arched nose, his com8lexion
olive, his co%ntenance erect, his body and limbs ,ell 8ro8ortioned,
all his motions gracef%l, and his de8ortment ma?estic$ -e ,as then
8ast his 8rime, being t,entyFeight years and three 9%arters old, of
,hich he had reigned abo%t seven in great felicity, and generally
victorio%s$ <or the better convenience of beholding him, 1 lay on
my side, so that my face ,as 8arallel to his, and he stood b%t
three yards offA ho,ever, 1 have had him since many times in my
hand, and therefore cannot be deceived in the descri8tion$ -is
dress ,as very 8lain and sim8le, and the fashion of it bet,een the
3siatic and the .%ro8ean7 b%t he had on his head a light helmet of
gold, adorned ,ith ?e,els, and a 8l%me on the crest$ -e held his
s,ord dra,n in his hand to defend himself, if 1 sho%ld ha88en to
brea& loose7 it ,as almost three inches long7 the hilt and scabbard
,ere gold enriched ,ith diamonds$ -is voice ,as shrill, b%t very
clear and artic%late7 and 1 co%ld distinctly hear it ,hen 1 stood
%8$ The ladies and co%rtiers ,ere all most magnificently clad7 so
that the s8ot they stood %8on seemed to resemble a 8etticoat s8read
%8on the gro%nd, embroidered ,ith fig%res of gold and silver$ -is
im8erial ma?esty s8o&e often to me, and 1 ret%rned ans,ersA b%t
neither of %s co%ld %nderstand a syllable$ There ,ere several of
his 8riests and la,yers 8resent Bas 1 con?ect%red by their habitsC,
,ho ,ere commanded to address themselves to me7 and 1 s8o&e to them
in as many lang%ages as 1 had the least smattering of, ,hich ,ere
-igh and 0o, D%tch, 0atin, <rench, S8anish, 1talian, and 0ing%a
<ranca, b%t all to no 8%r8ose$ 3fter abo%t t,o ho%rs the co%rt
retired, and 1 ,as left ,ith a strong g%ard, to 8revent the
im8ertinence, and 8robably the malice of the rabble, ,ho ,ere very
im8atient to cro,d abo%t me as near as they d%rst7 and some of them
had the im8%dence to shoot their arro,s at me, as 1 sat on the
gro%nd by the door of my ho%se, ,hereof one very narro,ly missed my
left eye$ B%t the colonel ordered six of the ringleaders to be
seiEed, and tho%ght no 8%nishment so 8ro8er as to deliver them
bo%nd into my hands7 ,hich some of his soldiers accordingly did,
8%shing them for,ard ,ith the b%ttFends of their 8i&es into my
reach$ 1 too& them all in my right hand, 8%t five of them into my
coatF8oc&et7 and as to the sixth, 1 made a co%ntenance as if 1
,o%ld eat him alive$ The 8oor man s9%alled terribly, and the
colonel and his officers ,ere in m%ch 8ain, es8ecially ,hen they
sa, me ta&e o%t my 8en&nifeA b%t 1 soon 8%t them o%t of fear7 for,
loo&ing mildly, and immediately c%tting the strings he ,as bo%nd
,ith, 1 set him gently on the gro%nd, and a,ay he ran$ 1 treated
the rest in the same manner, ta&ing them one by one o%t of my
8oc&et7 and 1 observed both the soldiers and 8eo8le ,ere highly
delighted at this mar& of my clemency, ,hich ,as re8resented very
m%ch to my advantage at co%rt$
To,ards night 1 got ,ith some diffic%lty into my ho%se, ,here 1 lay
on the gro%nd, and contin%ed to do so abo%t a fortnight7 d%ring
,hich time, the em8eror gave orders to have a bed 8re8ared for me$
Six h%ndred beds of the common meas%re ,ere bro%ght in carriages,
and ,or&ed %8 in my ho%se7 a h%ndred and fifty of their beds, se,n
together, made %8 the breadth and length7 and these ,ere fo%r
do%bleA ,hich, ho,ever, &e8t me b%t very indifferently from the
hardness of the floor, that ,as of smooth stone$ By the same
com8%tation, they 8rovided me ,ith sheets, blan&ets, and coverlets,
tolerable eno%gh for one ,ho had been so long in%red to hardshi8s$
3s the ne,s of my arrival s8read thro%gh the &ingdom, it bro%ght
8rodigio%s n%mbers of rich, idle, and c%rio%s 8eo8le to see me7 so
that the villages ,ere almost em8tied7 and great neglect of tillage
and ho%sehold affairs m%st have ens%ed, if his im8erial ma?esty had
not 8rovided, by several 8roclamations and orders of state, against
this inconveniency$ -e directed that those ,ho had already beheld
me sho%ld ret%rn home, and not 8res%me to come ,ithin fifty yards
of my ho%se, ,itho%t license from the co%rt7 ,hereby the
secretaries of state got considerable fees$
1n the mean time the em8eror held fre9%ent co%ncils, to debate ,hat
co%rse sho%ld be ta&en ,ith me7 and 1 ,as after,ards ass%red by a
8artic%lar friend, a 8erson of great 9%ality, ,ho ,as as m%ch in
the secret as any, that the co%rt ,as %nder many diffic%lties
concerning me$ They a88rehended my brea&ing loose7 that my diet
,o%ld be very ex8ensive, and might ca%se a famine$ Sometimes they
determined to starve me7 or at least to shoot me in the face and
hands ,ith 8oisoned arro,s, ,hich ,o%ld soon des8atch me7 b%t again
they considered, that the stench of so large a carcass might
8rod%ce a 8lag%e in the metro8olis, and 8robably s8read thro%gh the
,hole &ingdom$ 1n the midst of these cons%ltations, several
officers of the army ,ent to the door of the great co%ncilFchamber,
and t,o of them being admitted, gave an acco%nt of my behavio%r to
the six criminals aboveFmentioned7 ,hich made so favo%rable an
im8ression in the breast of his ma?esty and the ,hole board, in my
behalf, that an im8erial commission ,as iss%ed o%t, obliging all
the villages, nine h%ndred yards ro%nd the city, to deliver in
every morning six beeves, forty shee8, and other vict%als for my
s%stenance7 together ,ith a 8ro8ortionable 9%antity of bread, and
,ine, and other li9%ors7 for the d%e 8ayment of ,hich, his ma?esty
gave assignments %8on his treas%ryAF for this 8rince lives chiefly
%8on his o,n demesnes7 seldom, exce8t %8on great occasions, raising
any s%bsidies %8on his s%b?ects, ,ho are bo%nd to attend him in his
,ars at their o,n ex8ense$ 3n establishment ,as also made of six
h%ndred 8ersons to be my domestics, ,ho had boardF,ages allo,ed for
their maintenance, and tents b%ilt for them very conveniently on
each side of my door$ 1t ,as li&e,ise ordered, that three h%ndred
tailors sho%ld ma&e me a s%it of clothes, after the fashion of the
co%ntry7 that six of his ma?esty's greatest scholars sho%ld be
em8loyed to instr%ct me in their lang%age7 and lastly, that the
em8eror's horses, and those of the nobility and troo8s of g%ards,
sho%ld be fre9%ently exercised in my sight, to acc%stom themselves
to me$ 3ll these orders ,ere d%ly 8%t in exec%tion7 and in abo%t
three ,ee&s 1 made a great 8rogress in learning their lang%age7
d%ring ,hich time the em8eror fre9%ently hono%red me ,ith his
visits, and ,as 8leased to assist my masters in teaching me$ *e
began already to converse together in some sort7 and the first
,ords 1 learnt, ,ere to ex8ress my desire >that he ,o%ld 8lease
give me my liberty7> ,hich 1 every day re8eated on my &nees$ -is
ans,er, as 1 co%ld com8rehend it, ,as, >that this m%st be a ,or& of
time, not to be tho%ght on ,itho%t the advice of his co%ncil, and
that first 1 m%st l%mos &elmin 8esso desmar lon em8oso7> that is,
s,ear a 8eace ,ith him and his &ingdom$ -o,ever, that 1 sho%ld be
%sed ,ith all &indness$ 3nd he advised me to >ac9%ire, by my
8atience and discreet behavio%r, the good o8inion of himself and
his s%b?ects$> -e desired >1 ,o%ld not ta&e it ill, if he gave
orders to certain 8ro8er officers to search me7 for 8robably 1
might carry abo%t me several ,ea8ons, ,hich m%st needs be dangero%s
things, if they ans,ered the b%l& of so 8rodigio%s a 8erson$> 1
said, >-is ma?esty sho%ld be satisfied7 for 1 ,as ready to stri8
myself, and t%rn %8 my 8oc&ets before him$> This 1 delivered 8art
in ,ords, and 8art in signs$ -e re8lied, >that, by the la,s of the
&ingdom, 1 m%st be searched by t,o of his officers7 that he &ne,
this co%ld not be done ,itho%t my consent and assistance7 and he
had so good an o8inion of my generosity and ?%stice, as to tr%st
their 8ersons in my hands7 that ,hatever they too& from me, sho%ld
be ret%rned ,hen 1 left the co%ntry, or 8aid for at the rate ,hich
1 ,o%ld set %8on them$> 1 too& %8 the t,o officers in my hands,
8%t them first into my coatF8oc&ets, and then into every other
8oc&et abo%t me, exce8t my t,o fobs, and another secret 8oc&et,
,hich 1 had no mind sho%ld be searched, ,herein 1 had some little
necessaries that ,ere of no conse9%ence to any b%t myself$ 1n one
of my fobs there ,as a silver ,atch, and in the other a small
9%antity of gold in a 8%rse$ These gentlemen, having 8en, in&, and
8a8er, abo%t them, made an exact inventory of every thing they sa,7
and ,hen they had done, desired 1 ,o%ld set them do,n, that they
might deliver it to the em8eror$ This inventory 1 after,ards
translated into .nglish, and is, ,ord for ,ord, as follo,sA
>1m8rimisA 1n the right coatF8oc&et of the great manFmo%ntain>
Bfor so 1 inter8ret the ,ords 9%inb%s flestrin,C >after the
strictest search, ,e fo%nd only one great 8iece of coarseFcloth,
large eno%gh to be a footFcloth for yo%r ma?esty's chief room of
state$ 1n the left 8oc&et ,e sa, a h%ge silver chest, ,ith a cover
of the same metal, ,hich ,e, the searchers, ,ere not able to lift$
*e desired it sho%ld be o8ened, and one of %s ste88ing into it,
fo%nd himself %8 to the mid leg in a sort of d%st, some 8art
,hereof flying %8 to o%r faces set %s both a sneeEing for several
times together$ 1n his right ,aistcoatF8oc&et ,e fo%nd a
8rodigio%s b%ndle of ,hite thin s%bstances, folded one over
another, abo%t the bigness of three men, tied ,ith a strong cable,
and mar&ed ,ith blac& fig%res7 ,hich ,e h%mbly conceive to be
,ritings, every letter almost half as large as the 8alm of o%r
hands$ 1n the left there ,as a sort of engine, from the bac& of
,hich ,ere extended t,enty long 8oles, resembling the 8allisados
before yo%r ma?esty's co%rtA ,here,ith ,e con?ect%re the manF
mo%ntain combs his head7 for ,e did not al,ays tro%ble him ,ith
9%estions, beca%se ,e fo%nd it a great diffic%lty to ma&e him
%nderstand %s$ 1n the large 8oc&et, on the right side of his
middle cover> Bso 1 translate the ,ord ranf%lo, by ,hich they meant
my breeches,C >,e sa, a hollo, 8illar of iron, abo%t the length of
a man, fastened to a strong 8iece of timber larger than the 8illar7
and %8on one side of the 8illar, ,ere h%ge 8ieces of iron stic&ing
o%t, c%t into strange fig%res, ,hich ,e &no, not ,hat to ma&e of$
1n the left 8oc&et, another engine of the same &ind$ 1n the
smaller 8oc&et on the right side, ,ere several ro%nd flat 8ieces of
,hite and red metal, of different b%l&7 some of the ,hite, ,hich
seemed to be silver, ,ere so large and heavy, that my comrade and 1
co%ld hardly lift them$ 1n the left 8oc&et ,ere t,o blac& 8illars
irreg%larly sha8edA ,e co%ld not, ,itho%t diffic%lty, reach the
to8 of them, as ,e stood at the bottom of his 8oc&et$ 2ne of them
,as covered, and seemed all of a 8ieceA b%t at the %88er end of
the other there a88eared a ,hite ro%nd s%bstance, abo%t t,ice the
bigness of o%r heads$ *ithin each of these ,as enclosed a
8rodigio%s 8late of steel7 ,hich, by o%r orders, ,e obliged him to
sho, %s, beca%se ,e a88rehended they might be dangero%s engines$
-e too& them o%t of their cases, and told %s, that in his o,n
co%ntry his 8ractice ,as to shave his beard ,ith one of these, and
c%t his meat ,ith the other$ There ,ere t,o 8oc&ets ,hich ,e co%ld
not enterA these he called his fobs7 they ,ere t,o large slits c%t
into the to8 of his middle cover, b%t s9%eeEed close by the
8ress%re of his belly$ 2%t of the right fob h%ng a great silver
chain, ,ith a ,onderf%l &ind of engine at the bottom$ *e directed
him to dra, o%t ,hatever ,as at the end of that chain7 ,hich
a88eared to be a globe, half silver, and half of some trans8arent
metal7 for, on the trans8arent side, ,e sa, certain strange fig%res
circ%larly dra,n, and tho%ght ,e co%ld to%ch them, till ,e fo%nd
o%r fingers sto88ed by the l%cid s%bstance$ -e 8%t this engine
into o%r ears, ,hich made an incessant noise, li&e that of a ,aterF
millA and ,e con?ect%re it is either some %n&no,n animal, or the
god that he ,orshi8s7 b%t ,e are more inclined to the latter
o8inion, beca%se he ass%red %s, Bif ,e %nderstood him right, for he
ex8ressed himself very im8erfectlyC that he seldom did any thing
,itho%t cons%lting it$ -e called it his oracle, and said, it
8ointed o%t the time for every action of his life$ <rom the left
fob he too& o%t a net almost large eno%gh for a fisherman, b%t
contrived to o8en and sh%t li&e a 8%rse, and served him for the
same %seA ,e fo%nd therein several massy 8ieces of yello, metal,
,hich, if they be real gold, m%st be of immense val%e$
>-aving th%s, in obedience to yo%r ma?esty's commands, diligently
searched all his 8oc&ets, ,e observed a girdle abo%t his ,aist made
of the hide of some 8rodigio%s animal, from ,hich, on the left
side, h%ng a s,ord of the length of five men7 and on the right, a
bag or 8o%ch divided into t,o cells, each cell ca8able of holding
three of yo%r ma?esty's s%b?ects$ 1n one of these cells ,ere
several globes, or balls, of a most 8ondero%s metal, abo%t the
bigness of o%r heads, and re9%iring a strong hand to lift themA
the other cell contained a hea8 of certain blac& grains, b%t of no
great b%l& or ,eight, for ,e co%ld hold above fifty of them in the
8alms of o%r hands$
>This is an exact inventory of ,hat ,e fo%nd abo%t the body of the
manFmo%ntain, ,ho %sed %s ,ith great civility, and d%e res8ect to
yo%r ma?esty's commission$ Signed and sealed on the fo%rth day of
the eightyFninth moon of yo%r ma?esty's a%s8icio%s reign$
:0.<(1) <(.02:L, 63(S1 <(.02:L$>
*hen this inventory ,as read over to the em8eror, he directed me,
altho%gh in very gentle terms, to deliver %8 the several
8artic%lars$ -e first called for my scimitar, ,hich 1 too& o%t,
scabbard and all$ 1n the mean time he ordered three tho%sand of
his choicest troo8s B,ho then attended himC to s%rro%nd me at a
distance, ,ith their bo,s and arro,s ?%st ready to discharge7 b%t 1
did not observe it, for mine eyes ,ere ,holly fixed %8on his
ma?esty$ -e then desired me to dra, my scimitar, ,hich, altho%gh
it had got some r%st by the sea ,ater, ,as, in most 8arts,
exceeding bright$ 1 did so, and immediately all the troo8s gave a
sho%t bet,een terror and s%r8rise7 for the s%n shone clear, and the
reflection daEEled their eyes, as 1 ,aved the scimitar to and fro
in my hand$ -is ma?esty, ,ho is a most magnanimo%s 8rince, ,as
less da%nted than 1 co%ld ex8ectA he ordered me to ret%rn it into
the scabbard, and cast it on the gro%nd as gently as 1 co%ld, abo%t
six feet from the end of my chain$ The next thing he demanded ,as
one of the hollo, iron 8illars7 by ,hich he meant my 8oc&et
8istols$ 1 dre, it o%t, and at his desire, as ,ell as 1 co%ld,
ex8ressed to him the %se of it7 and charging it only ,ith 8o,der,
,hich, by the closeness of my 8o%ch, ha88ened to esca8e ,etting in
the sea Ban inconvenience against ,hich all 8r%dent mariners ta&e
s8ecial care to 8rovide,C 1 first ca%tioned the em8eror not to be
afraid, and then 1 let it off in the air$ The astonishment here
,as m%ch greater than at the sight of my scimitar$ -%ndreds fell
do,n as if they had been str%c& dead7 and even the em8eror,
altho%gh he stood his gro%nd, co%ld not recover himself for some
time$ 1 delivered %8 both my 8istols in the same manner as 1 had
done my scimitar, and then my 8o%ch of 8o,der and b%llets7 begging
him that the former might be &e8t from fire, for it ,o%ld &indle
,ith the smallest s8ar&, and blo, %8 his im8erial 8alace into the
air$ 1 li&e,ise delivered %8 my ,atch, ,hich the em8eror ,as very
c%rio%s to see, and commanded t,o of his tallest yeomen of the
g%ards to bear it on a 8ole %8on their sho%lders, as draymen in
.ngland do a barrel of ale$ -e ,as amaEed at the contin%al noise
it made, and the motion of the min%teFhand, ,hich he co%ld easily
discern7 for their sight is m%ch more ac%te than o%rsA he as&ed
the o8inions of his learned men abo%t it, ,hich ,ere vario%s and
remote, as the reader may ,ell imagine ,itho%t my re8eating7
altho%gh indeed 1 co%ld not very 8erfectly %nderstand them$ 1 then
gave %8 my silver and co88er money, my 8%rse, ,ith nine large
8ieces of gold, and some smaller ones7 my &nife and raEor, my comb
and silver sn%ffFbox, my hand&erchief and ?o%rnalFboo&$ 6y
scimitar, 8istols, and 8o%ch, ,ere conveyed in carriages to his
ma?esty's stores7 b%t the rest of my goods ,ere ret%rned me$
1 had as 1 before observed, one 8rivate 8oc&et, ,hich esca8ed their
search, ,herein there ,as a 8air of s8ectacles B,hich 1 sometimes
%se for the ,ea&ness of mine eyes,C a 8oc&et 8ers8ective, and some
other little conveniences7 ,hich, being of no conse9%ence to the
em8eror, 1 did not thin& myself bo%nd in hono%r to discover, and 1
a88rehended they might be lost or s8oiled if 1 vent%red them o%t of
my 8ossession$
:-3PT.( 111$
4The a%thor diverts the em8eror, and his nobility of both sexes, in
a very %ncommon manner$ The diversions of the co%rt of 0illi8%t
described$ The a%thor has his liberty granted him %8on certain
6y gentleness and good behavio%r had gained so far on the em8eror
and his co%rt, and indeed %8on the army and 8eo8le in general, that
1 began to conceive ho8es of getting my liberty in a short time$ 1
too& all 8ossible methods to c%ltivate this favo%rable dis8osition$
The natives came, by degrees, to be less a88rehensive of any danger
from me$ 1 ,o%ld sometimes lie do,n, and let five or six of them
dance on my hand7 and at last the boys and girls ,o%ld vent%re to
come and 8lay at hideFandFsee& in my hair$ 1 had no, made a good
8rogress in %nderstanding and s8ea&ing the lang%age$ The em8eror
had a mind one day to entertain me ,ith several of the co%ntry
sho,s, ,herein they exceed all nations 1 have &no,n, both for
dexterity and magnificence$ 1 ,as diverted ,ith none so m%ch as
that of the ro8eFdancers, 8erformed %8on a slender ,hite thread,
extended abo%t t,o feet, and t,elve inches from the gro%nd$ /8on
,hich 1 shall desire liberty, ,ith the reader's 8atience, to
enlarge a little$
This diversion is only 8ractised by those 8ersons ,ho are
candidates for great em8loyments, and high favo%r at co%rt$ They
are trained in this art from their yo%th, and are not al,ays of
noble birth, or liberal ed%cation$ *hen a great office is vacant,
either by death or disgrace B,hich often ha88ens,C five or six of
those candidates 8etition the em8eror to entertain his ma?esty and
the co%rt ,ith a dance on the ro8e7 and ,hoever ?%m8s the highest,
,itho%t falling, s%cceeds in the office$ =ery often the chief
ministers themselves are commanded to sho, their s&ill, and to
convince the em8eror that they have not lost their fac%lty$
<limna8, the treas%rer, is allo,ed to c%t a ca8er on the straight
ro8e, at least an inch higher than any other lord in the ,hole
em8ire$ 1 have seen him do the s%mmerset several times together,
%8on a trencher fixed on a ro8e ,hich is no thic&er than a common
8ac&thread in .ngland$ 6y friend (eldresal, 8rinci8al secretary
for 8rivate affairs, is, in my o8inion, if 1 am not 8artial, the
second after the treas%rer7 the rest of the great officers are m%ch
%8on a 8ar$
These diversions are often attended ,ith fatal accidents, ,hereof
great n%mbers are on record$ 1 myself have seen t,o or three
candidates brea& a limb$ B%t the danger is m%ch greater, ,hen the
ministers themselves are commanded to sho, their dexterity7 for, by
contending to excel themselves and their fello,s, they strain so
far that there is hardly one of them ,ho has not received a fall,
and some of them t,o or three$ 1 ,as ass%red that, a year or t,o
before my arrival, <limna8 ,o%ld infallibly have bro&e his nec&, if
one of the &ing's c%shions, that accidentally lay on the gro%nd,
had not ,ea&ened the force of his fall$
There is li&e,ise another diversion, ,hich is only sho,n before the
em8eror and em8ress, and first minister, %8on 8artic%lar occasions$
The em8eror lays on the table three fine sil&en threads of six
inches long7 one is bl%e, the other red, and the third green$
These threads are 8ro8osed as 8riEes for those 8ersons ,hom the
em8eror has a mind to disting%ish by a 8ec%liar mar& of his favo%r$
The ceremony is 8erformed in his ma?esty's great chamber of state,
,here the candidates are to %ndergo a trial of dexterity very
different from the former, and s%ch as 1 have not observed the
least resemblance of in any other co%ntry of the ne, or old ,orld$
The em8eror holds a stic& in his hands, both ends 8arallel to the
horiEon, ,hile the candidates advancing, one by one, sometimes lea8
over the stic&, sometimes cree8 %nder it, bac&,ard and for,ard,
several times, according as the stic& is advanced or de8ressed$
Sometimes the em8eror holds one end of the stic&, and his first
minister the other7 sometimes the minister has it entirely to
himself$ *hoever 8erforms his 8art ,ith most agility, and holds
o%t the longest in lea8ing and cree8ing, is re,arded ,ith the bl%eF
colo%red sil&7 the red is given to the next, and the green to the
third, ,hich they all ,ear girt t,ice ro%nd abo%t the middle7 and
yo% see fe, great 8ersons abo%t this co%rt ,ho are not adorned ,ith
one of these girdles$
The horses of the army, and those of the royal stables, having been
daily led before me, ,ere no longer shy, b%t ,o%ld come %8 to my
very feet ,itho%t starting$ The riders ,o%ld lea8 them over my
hand, as 1 held it on the gro%nd7 and one of the em8eror's
h%ntsmen, %8on a large co%rser, too& my foot, shoe and all7 ,hich
,as indeed a 8rodigio%s lea8$ 1 had the good fort%ne to divert the
em8eror one day after a very extraordinary manner$ 1 desired he
,o%ld order several stic&s of t,o feet high, and the thic&ness of
an ordinary cane, to be bro%ght me7 ,here%8on his ma?esty commanded
the master of his ,oods to give directions accordingly7 and the
next morning six ,oodmen arrived ,ith as many carriages, dra,n by
eight horses to each$ 1 too& nine of these stic&s, and fixing them
firmly in the gro%nd in a 9%adrang%lar fig%re, t,o feet and a half
s9%are, 1 too& fo%r other stic&s, and tied them 8arallel at each
corner, abo%t t,o feet from the gro%nd7 then 1 fastened my
hand&erchief to the nine stic&s that stood erect7 and extended it
on all sides, till it ,as tight as the to8 of a dr%m7 and the fo%r
8arallel stic&s, rising abo%t five inches higher than the
hand&erchief, served as ledges on each side$ *hen 1 had finished
my ,or&, 1 desired the em8eror to let a troo8 of his best horses
t,entyFfo%r in n%mber, come and exercise %8on this 8lain$ -is
ma?esty a88roved of the 8ro8osal, and 1 too& them %8, one by one,
in my hands, ready mo%nted and armed, ,ith the 8ro8er officers to
exercise them$ 3s soon as they got into order they divided into
t,o 8arties, 8erformed moc& s&irmishes, discharged bl%nt arro,s,
dre, their s,ords, fled and 8%rs%ed, attac&ed and retired, and in
short discovered the best military disci8line 1 ever beheld$ The
8arallel stic&s sec%red them and their horses from falling over the
stage7 and the em8eror ,as so m%ch delighted, that he ordered this
entertainment to be re8eated several days, and once ,as 8leased to
be lifted %8 and give the ,ord of command7 and ,ith great
diffic%lty 8ers%aded even the em8ress herself to let me hold her in
her close chair ,ithin t,o yards of the stage, ,hen she ,as able to
ta&e a f%ll vie, of the ,hole 8erformance$ 1t ,as my good fort%ne,
that no ill accident ha88ened in these entertainments7 only once a
fiery horse, that belonged to one of the ca8tains, 8a,ing ,ith his
hoof, str%c& a hole in my hand&erchief, and his foot sli88ing, he
overthre, his rider and himself7 b%t 1 immediately relieved them
both, and covering the hole ,ith one hand, 1 set do,n the troo8
,ith the other, in the same manner as 1 too& them %8$ The horse
that fell ,as strained in the left sho%lder, b%t the rider got no
h%rt7 and 1 re8aired my hand&erchief as ,ell as 1 co%ldA ho,ever,
1 ,o%ld not tr%st to the strength of it any more, in s%ch dangero%s
3bo%t t,o or three days before 1 ,as set at liberty, as 1 ,as
entertaining the co%rt ,ith this &ind of feat, there arrived an
ex8ress to inform his ma?esty, that some of his s%b?ects, riding
near the 8lace ,here 1 ,as first ta&en %8, had seen a great blac&
s%bstance lying on the aro%nd, very oddly sha8ed, extending its
edges ro%nd, as ,ide as his ma?esty's bedchamber, and rising %8 in
the middle as high as a man7 that it ,as no living creat%re, as
they at first a88rehended, for it lay on the grass ,itho%t motion7
and some of them had ,al&ed ro%nd it several times7 that, by
mo%nting %8on each other's sho%lders, they had got to the to8,
,hich ,as flat and even, and, stam8ing %8on it, they fo%nd that it
,as hollo, ,ithin7 that they h%mbly conceived it might be something
belonging to the manFmo%ntain7 and if his ma?esty 8leased, they
,o%ld %nderta&e to bring it ,ith only five horses$ 1 8resently
&ne, ,hat they meant, and ,as glad at heart to receive this
intelligence$ 1t seems, %8on my first reaching the shore after o%r
shi8,rec&, 1 ,as in s%ch conf%sion, that before 1 came to the 8lace
,here 1 ,ent to slee8, my hat, ,hich 1 had fastened ,ith a string
to my head ,hile 1 ,as ro,ing, and had st%c& on all the time 1 ,as
s,imming, fell off after 1 came to land7 the string, as 1
con?ect%re, brea&ing by some accident, ,hich 1 never observed, b%t
tho%ght my hat had been lost at sea$ 1 entreated his im8erial
ma?esty to give orders it might be bro%ght to me as soon as
8ossible, describing to him the %se and the nat%re of itA and the
next day the ,aggoners arrived ,ith it, b%t not in a very good
condition7 they had bored t,o holes in the brim, ,ithin an inch and
half of the edge, and fastened t,o hoo&s in the holes7 these hoo&s
,ere tied by a long cord to the harness, and th%s my hat ,as
dragged along for above half an .nglish mile7 b%t, the gro%nd in
that co%ntry being extremely smooth and level, it received less
damage than 1 ex8ected$
T,o days after this advent%re, the em8eror, having ordered that
8art of his army ,hich 9%arters in and abo%t his metro8olis, to be
in readiness, too& a fancy of diverting himself in a very sing%lar
manner$ -e desired 1 ,o%ld stand li&e a :oloss%s, ,ith my legs as
far as%nder as 1 conveniently co%ld$ -e then commanded his general
B,ho ,as an old ex8erienced leader, and a great 8atron of mineC to
dra, %8 the troo8s in close order, and march them %nder me7 the
foot by t,entyFfo%r abreast, and the horse by sixteen, ,ith dr%ms
beating, colo%rs flying, and 8i&es advanced$ This body consisted
of three tho%sand foot, and a tho%sand horse$ -is ma?esty gave
orders, %8on 8ain of death, that every soldier in his march sho%ld
observe the strictest decency ,ith regard to my 8erson7 ,hich
ho,ever co%ld not 8revent some of the yo%nger officers from t%rning
%8 their eyes as they 8assed %nder meA and, to confess the tr%th,
my breeches ,ere at that time in so ill a condition, that they
afforded some o88ort%nities for la%ghter and admiration$
1 had sent so many memorials and 8etitions for my liberty, that his
ma?esty at length mentioned the matter, first in the cabinet, and
then in a f%ll co%ncil7 ,here it ,as o88osed by none, exce8t
S&yresh Bolgolam, ,ho ,as 8leased, ,itho%t any 8rovocation, to be
my mortal enemy$ B%t it ,as carried against him by the ,hole
board, and confirmed by the em8eror$ That minister ,as galbet, or
admiral of the realm, very m%ch in his master's confidence, and a
8erson ,ell versed in affairs, b%t of a morose and so%r com8lexion$
-o,ever, he ,as at length 8ers%aded to com8ly7 b%t 8revailed that
the articles and conditions %8on ,hich 1 sho%ld be set free, and to
,hich 1 m%st s,ear, sho%ld be dra,n %8 by himself$ These articles
,ere bro%ght to me by S&yresh Bolgolam in 8erson attended by t,o
%nderFsecretaries, and several 8ersons of distinction$ 3fter they
,ere read, 1 ,as demanded to s,ear to the 8erformance of them7
first in the manner of my o,n co%ntry, and after,ards in the method
8rescribed by their la,s7 ,hich ,as, to hold my right foot in my
left hand, and to 8lace the middle finger of my right hand on the
cro,n of my head, and my th%mb on the ti8 of my right ear$ B%t
beca%se the reader may be c%rio%s to have some idea of the style
and manner of ex8ression 8ec%liar to that 8eo8le, as ,ell as to
&no, the article %8on ,hich 1 recovered my liberty, 1 have made a
translation of the ,hole instr%ment, ,ord for ,ord, as near as 1
,as able, ,hich 1 here offer to the 8%blic$
>Golbasto 6omarem .vlame G%rdilo Shefin 6%lly /lly G%e, most mighty
.m8eror of 0illi8%t, delight and terror of the %niverse, ,hose
dominions extend five tho%sand bl%str%gs Babo%t t,elve miles in
circ%mferenceC to the extremities of the globe7 monarch of all
monarchs, taller than the sons of men7 ,hose feet 8ress do,n to the
centre, and ,hose head stri&es against the s%n7 at ,hose nod the
8rinces of the earth sha&e their &nees7 8leasant as the s8ring,
comfortable as the s%mmer, fr%itf%l as a%t%mn, dreadf%l as ,interA
his most s%blime ma?esty 8ro8oses to the manFmo%ntain, lately
arrived at o%r celestial dominions, the follo,ing articles, ,hich,
by a solemn oath, he shall be obliged to 8erformAF
>1st, The manFmo%ntain shall not de8art from o%r dominions, ,itho%t
o%r license %nder o%r great seal$
>2d, -e shall not 8res%me to come into o%r metro8olis, ,itho%t o%r
ex8ress order7 at ,hich time, the inhabitants shall have t,o ho%rs
,arning to &ee8 ,ithin doors$
>Hd, The said manFmo%ntain shall confine his ,al&s to o%r 8rinci8al
high roads, and not offer to ,al&, or lie do,n, in a meado, or
field of corn$
>"th, 3s he ,al&s the said roads, he shall ta&e the %tmost care not
to tram8le %8on the bodies of any of o%r loving s%b?ects, their
horses, or carriages, nor ta&e any of o%r s%b?ects into his hands
,itho%t their o,n consent$
>Ith, 1f an ex8ress re9%ires extraordinary des8atch, the manF
mo%ntain shall be obliged to carry, in his 8oc&et, the messenger
and horse a six days ?o%rney, once in every moon, and ret%rn the
said messenger bac& Bif so re9%iredC safe to o%r im8erial 8resence$
>Gth, -e shall be o%r ally against o%r enemies in the island of
Blef%sc%, and do his %tmost to destroy their fleet, ,hich is no,
8re8aring to invade %s$
>!th, That the said manFmo%ntain shall, at his times of leis%re, be
aiding and assisting to o%r ,or&men, in hel8ing to raise certain
great stones, to,ards covering the ,all of the 8rinci8al 8ar&, and
other o%r royal b%ildings$
>8th, That the said manFmo%ntain shall, in t,o moons' time, deliver
in an exact s%rvey of the circ%mference of o%r dominions, by a
com8%tation of his o,n 8aces ro%nd the coast$
>0astly, That, %8on his solemn oath to observe all the above
articles, the said manFmo%ntain shall have a daily allo,ance of
meat and drin& s%fficient for the s%88ort of 1!2" of o%r s%b?ects,
,ith free access to o%r royal 8erson, and other mar&s of o%r
favo%r$ Given at o%r 8alace at Belfaborac, the t,elfth day of the
ninetyFfirst moon of o%r reign$>
1 s,ore and s%bscribed to these articles ,ith great cheerf%lness
and content, altho%gh some of them ,ere not so hono%rable as 1
co%ld have ,ished7 ,hich 8roceeded ,holly from the malice of
S&yresh Bolgolam, the highFadmiralA ,here%8on my chains ,ere
immediately %nloc&ed, and 1 ,as at f%ll liberty$ The em8eror
himself, in 8erson, did me the hono%r to be by at the ,hole
ceremony$ 1 made my ac&no,ledgements by 8rostrating myself at his
ma?esty's feetA b%t he commanded me to rise7 and after many
gracio%s ex8ressions, ,hich, to avoid the cens%re of vanity, 1
shall not re8eat, he added, >that he ho8ed 1 sho%ld 8rove a %sef%l
servant, and ,ell deserve all the favo%rs he had already conferred
%8on me, or might do for the f%t%re$>
The reader may 8lease to observe, that, in the last article of the
recovery of my liberty, the em8eror sti8%lates to allo, me a
9%antity of meat and drin& s%fficient for the s%88ort of 1!2"
0illi8%tians$ Some time after, as&ing a friend at co%rt ho, they
came to fix on that determinate n%mber, he told me that his
ma?esty's mathematicians, having ta&en the height of my body by the
hel8 of a 9%adrant, and finding it to exceed theirs in the
8ro8ortion of t,elve to one, they concl%ded from the similarity of
their bodies, that mine m%st contain at least 1!2" of theirs, and
conse9%ently ,o%ld re9%ire as m%ch food as ,as necessary to s%88ort
that n%mber of 0illi8%tians$ By ,hich the reader may conceive an
idea of the ingen%ity of that 8eo8le, as ,ell as the 8r%dent and
exact economy of so great a 8rince$
:-3PT.( 1=$
46ildendo, the metro8olis of 0illi8%t, described, together ,ith the
em8eror's 8alace$ 3 conversation bet,een the a%thor and a
8rinci8al secretary, concerning the affairs of that em8ire$ The
a%thor's offers to serve the em8eror in his ,ars$5
The first re9%est 1 made, after 1 had obtained my liberty, ,as,
that 1 might have license to see 6ildendo, the metro8olis7 ,hich
the em8eror easily granted me, b%t ,ith a s8ecial charge to do no
h%rt either to the inhabitants or their ho%ses$ The 8eo8le had
notice, by 8roclamation, of my design to visit the to,n$ The ,all
,hich encom8assed it is t,o feet and a half high, and at least
eleven inches broad, so that a coach and horses may be driven very
safely ro%nd it7 and it is flan&ed ,ith strong to,ers at ten feet
distance$ 1 ste88ed over the great ,estern gate, and 8assed very
gently, and sidling, thro%gh the t,o 8rinci8al streets, only in my
short ,aistcoat, for fear of damaging the roofs and eaves of the
ho%ses ,ith the s&irts of my coat$ 1 ,al&ed ,ith the %tmost
circ%ms8ection, to avoid treading on any stragglers ,ho might
remain in the streets, altho%gh the orders ,ere very strict, that
all 8eo8le sho%ld &ee8 in their ho%ses, at their o,n 8eril$ The
garret ,indo,s and to8s of ho%ses ,ere so cro,ded ,ith s8ectators,
that 1 tho%ght in all my travels 1 had not seen a more 8o8%lo%s
8lace$ The city is an exact s9%are, each side of the ,all being
five h%ndred feet long$ The t,o great streets, ,hich r%n across
and divide it into fo%r 9%arters, are five feet ,ide$ The lanes
and alleys, ,hich 1 co%ld not enter, b%t only vie, them as 1
8assed, are from t,elve to eighteen inches$ The to,n is ca8able of
holding five h%ndred tho%sand so%lsA the ho%ses are from three to
five storiesA the sho8s and mar&ets ,ell 8rovided$
The em8eror's 8alace is in the centre of the city ,here the t,o
great streets meet$ 1t is enclosed by a ,all of t,o feet high, and
t,enty feet distance from the b%ildings$ 1 had his ma?esty's
8ermission to ste8 over this ,all7 and, the s8ace being so ,ide
bet,een that and the 8alace, 1 co%ld easily vie, it on every side$
The o%t,ard co%rt is a s9%are of forty feet, and incl%des t,o other
co%rtsA in the inmost are the royal a8artments, ,hich 1 ,as very
desiro%s to see, b%t fo%nd it extremely diffic%lt7 for the great
gates, from one s9%are into another, ,ere b%t eighteen inches high,
and seven inches ,ide$ )o, the b%ildings of the o%ter co%rt ,ere
at least five feet high, and it ,as im8ossible for me to stride
over them ,itho%t infinite damage to the 8ile, tho%gh the ,alls
,ere strongly b%ilt of he,n stone, and fo%r inches thic&$ 3t the
same time the em8eror had a great desire that 1 sho%ld see the
magnificence of his 8alace7 b%t this 1 ,as not able to do till
three days after, ,hich 1 s8ent in c%tting do,n ,ith my &nife some
of the largest trees in the royal 8ar&, abo%t a h%ndred yards
distant from the city$ 2f these trees 1 made t,o stools, each
abo%t three feet high, and strong eno%gh to bear my ,eight$ The
8eo8le having received notice a second time, 1 ,ent again thro%gh
the city to the 8alace ,ith my t,o stools in my hands$ *hen 1 came
to the side of the o%ter co%rt, 1 stood %8on one stool, and too&
the other in my hand7 this 1 lifted over the roof, and gently set
it do,n on the s8ace bet,een the first and second co%rt, ,hich ,as
eight feet ,ide$ 1 then ste8t over the b%ilding very conveniently
from one stool to the other, and dre, %8 the first after me ,ith a
hoo&ed stic&$ By this contrivance 1 got into the inmost co%rt7
and, lying do,n %8on my side, 1 a88lied my face to the ,indo,s of
the middle stories, ,hich ,ere left o8en on 8%r8ose, and discovered
the most s8lendid a8artments that can be imagined$ There 1 sa, the
em8ress and the yo%ng 8rinces, in their several lodgings, ,ith
their chief attendants abo%t them$ -er im8erial ma?esty ,as
8leased to smile very gracio%sly %8on me, and gave me o%t of the
,indo, her hand to &iss$
B%t 1 shall not antici8ate the reader ,ith f%rther descri8tions of
this &ind, beca%se 1 reserve them for a greater ,or&, ,hich is no,
almost ready for the 8ress7 containing a general descri8tion of
this em8ire, from its first erection, thro%gh along series of
8rinces7 ,ith a 8artic%lar acco%nt of their ,ars and 8olitics,
la,s, learning, and religion7 their 8lants and animals7 their
8ec%liar manners and c%stoms, ,ith other matters very c%rio%s and
%sef%l7 my chief design at 8resent being only to relate s%ch events
and transactions as ha88ened to the 8%blic or to myself d%ring a
residence of abo%t nine months in that em8ire$
2ne morning, abo%t a fortnight after 1 had obtained my liberty,
(eldresal, 8rinci8al secretary Bas they style himC for 8rivate
affairs, came to my ho%se attended only by one servant$ -e ordered
his coach to ,ait at a distance, and desired 1 ,o%ld give him an
ho%rs a%dience7 ,hich 1 readily consented to, on acco%nt of his
9%ality and 8ersonal merits, as ,ell as of the many good offices he
had done me d%ring my solicitations at co%rt$ 1 offered to lie
do,n that he might the more conveniently reach my ear, b%t he chose
rather to let me hold him in my hand d%ring o%r conversation$ -e
began ,ith com8liments on my liberty7 said >he might 8retend to
some merit in it7> b%t, ho,ever, added, >that if it had not been
for the 8resent sit%ation of things at co%rt, 8erha8s 1 might not
have obtained it so soon$ <or,> said he, >as flo%rishing a
condition as ,e may a88ear to be in to foreigners, ,e labo%r %nder
t,o mighty evilsA a violent faction at home, and the danger of an
invasion, by a most 8otent enemy, from abroad$ 3s to the first,
yo% are to %nderstand, that for abo%t seventy moons 8ast there have
been t,o str%ggling 8arties in this em8ire, %nder the names of
Tramec&san and Slamec&san, from the high and lo, heels of their
shoes, by ,hich they disting%ish themselves$ 1t is alleged,
indeed, that the high heels are most agreeable to o%r ancient
constit%tion7 b%t, ho,ever this be, his ma?esty has determined to
ma&e %se only of lo, heels in the administration of the government,
and all offices in the gift of the cro,n, as yo% cannot b%t
observe7 and 8artic%larly that his ma?esty's im8erial heels are
lo,er at least by a dr%rr than any of his co%rt Bdr%rr is a meas%re
abo%t the fo%rteenth 8art of an inchC$ The animosities bet,een
these t,o 8arties r%n so high, that they ,ill neither eat, nor
drin&, nor tal& ,ith each other$ *e com8%te the Tramec&san, or
high heels, to exceed %s in n%mber7 b%t the 8o,er is ,holly on o%r
side$ *e a88rehend his im8erial highness, the heir to the cro,n,
to have some tendency to,ards the high heels7 at least ,e can
8lainly discover that one of his heels is higher than the other,
,hich gives him a hobble in his gait$ )o,, in the midst of these
intestine dis9%iets, ,e are threatened ,ith an invasion from the
island of Blef%sc%, ,hich is the other great em8ire of the
%niverse, almost as large and 8o,erf%l as this of his ma?esty$ <or
as to ,hat ,e have heard yo% affirm, that there are other &ingdoms
and states in the ,orld inhabited by h%man creat%res as large as
yo%rself, o%r 8hiloso8hers are in m%ch do%bt, and ,o%ld rather
con?ect%re that yo% dro88ed from the moon, or one of the stars7
beca%se it is certain, that a h%ndred mortals of yo%r b%l& ,o%ld in
a short time destroy all the fr%its and cattle of his ma?esty's
dominionsA besides, o%r histories of six tho%sand moons ma&e no
mention of any other regions than the t,o great em8ires of 0illi8%t
and Blef%sc%$ *hich t,o mighty 8o,ers have, as 1 ,as going to tell
yo%, been engaged in a most obstinate ,ar for sixFandFthirty moons
8ast$ 1t began %8on the follo,ing occasion$ 1t is allo,ed on all
hands, that the 8rimitive ,ay of brea&ing eggs, before ,e eat them,
,as %8on the larger end7 b%t his 8resent ma?esty's grandfather,
,hile he ,as a boy, going to eat an egg, and brea&ing it according
to the ancient 8ractice, ha88ened to c%t one of his fingers$
*here%8on the em8eror his father 8%blished an edict, commanding all
his s%b?ects, %8on great 8enalties, to brea& the smaller end of
their eggs$ The 8eo8le so highly resented this la,, that o%r
histories tell %s, there have been six rebellions raised on that
acco%nt7 ,herein one em8eror lost his life, and another his cro,n$
These civil commotions ,ere constantly fomented by the monarchs of
Blef%sc%7 and ,hen they ,ere 9%elled, the exiles al,ays fled for
ref%ge to that em8ire$ 1t is com8%ted that eleven tho%sand 8ersons
have at several times s%ffered death, rather than s%bmit to brea&
their eggs at the smaller end$ 6any h%ndred large vol%mes have
been 8%blished %8on this controversyA b%t the boo&s of the BigF
endians have been long forbidden, and the ,hole 8arty rendered
inca8able by la, of holding em8loyments$ D%ring the co%rse of
these tro%bles, the em8erors of Blef%sca did fre9%ently ex8ost%late
by their ambassadors, acc%sing %s of ma&ing a schism in religion,
by offending against a f%ndamental doctrine of o%r great 8ro8het
0%strog, in the fiftyFfo%rth cha8ter of the Bl%ndecral B,hich is
their 3lcoranC$ This, ho,ever, is tho%ght to be a mere strain %8on
the text7 for the ,ords are theseA 'that all tr%e believers brea&
their eggs at the convenient end$' 3nd ,hich is the convenient
end, seems, in my h%mble o8inion to be left to every man's
conscience, or at least in the 8o,er of the chief magistrate to
determine$ )o,, the BigFendian exiles have fo%nd so m%ch credit in
the em8eror of Blef%sc%'s co%rt, and so m%ch 8rivate assistance and
enco%ragement from their 8arty here at home, that a bloody ,ar has
been carried on bet,een the t,o em8ires for sixFandFthirty moons,
,ith vario%s s%ccess7 d%ring ,hich time ,e have lost forty ca8ital
shi8s, and a m%ch a greater n%mber of smaller vessels, together
,ith thirty tho%sand of o%r best seamen and soldiers7 and the
damage received by the enemy is rec&oned to be some,hat greater
than o%rs$ -o,ever, they have no, e9%i88ed a n%mero%s fleet, and
are ?%st 8re8aring to ma&e a descent %8on %s7 and his im8erial
ma?esty, 8lacing great confidence in yo%r valo%r and strength, has
commanded me to lay this acco%nt of his affairs before yo%$>
1 desired the secretary to 8resent my h%mble d%ty to the em8eror7
and to let him &no,, >that 1 tho%ght it ,o%ld not become me, ,ho
,as a foreigner, to interfere ,ith 8arties7 b%t 1 ,as ready, ,ith
the haEard of my life, to defend his 8erson and state against all
:-3PT.( =$
4The a%thor, by an extraordinary stratagem, 8revents an invasion$
3 high title of hono%r is conferred %8on him$ 3mbassadors arrive
from the em8eror of Blef%sc%, and s%e for 8eace$ The em8ress's
a8artment on fire by an accident7 the a%thor instr%mental in saving
the rest of the 8alace$5
The em8ire of Blef%sc% is an island sit%ated to the northFeast of
0illi8%t, from ,hich it is 8arted only by a channel of eight
h%ndred yards ,ide$ 1 had not yet seen it, and %8on this notice of
an intended invasion, 1 avoided a88earing on that side of the
coast, for fear of being discovered, by some of the enemy's shi8s,
,ho had received no intelligence of me7 all interco%rse bet,een the
t,o em8ires having been strictly forbidden d%ring the ,ar, %8on
8ain of death, and an embargo laid by o%r em8eror %8on all vessels
,hatsoever$ 1 comm%nicated to his ma?esty a 8ro?ect 1 had formed
of seiEing the enemy's ,hole fleet7 ,hich, as o%r sco%ts ass%red
%s, lay at anchor in the harbo%r, ready to sail ,ith the first fair
,ind$ 1 cons%lted the most ex8erienced seamen %8on the de8th of
the channel, ,hich they had often 8l%mbed7 ,ho told me, that in the
middle, at highF,ater, it ,as seventy gl%mgl%ffs dee8, ,hich is
abo%t six feet of .%ro8ean meas%re7 and the rest of it fifty
gl%mgl%ffs at most$ 1 ,al&ed to,ards the northFeast coast, over
against Blef%sc%, ,here, lying do,n behind a hilloc&, 1 too& o%t my
small 8ers8ective glass, and vie,ed the enemy's fleet at anchor,
consisting of abo%t fifty men of ,ar, and a great n%mber of
trans8ortsA 1 then came bac& to my ho%se, and gave orders Bfor
,hich 1 had a ,arrantC for a great 9%antity of the strongest cable
and bars of iron$ The cable ,as abo%t as thic& as 8ac&thread and
the bars of the length and siEe of a &nittingFneedle$ 1 trebled
the cable to ma&e it stronger, and for the same reason 1 t,isted
three of the iron bars together, bending the extremities into a
hoo&$ -aving th%s fixed fifty hoo&s to as many cables, 1 ,ent bac&
to the northFeast coast, and 8%tting off my coat, shoes, and
stoc&ings, ,al&ed into the sea, in my leathern ?er&in, abo%t half
an ho%r before high ,ater$ 1 ,aded ,ith ,hat haste 1 co%ld, and
s,am in the middle abo%t thirty yards, till 1 felt gro%nd$ 1
arrived at the fleet in less than half an ho%r$ The enemy ,as so
frightened ,hen they sa, me, that they lea8ed o%t of their shi8s,
and s,am to shore, ,here there co%ld not be fe,er than thirty
tho%sand so%ls$ 1 then too& my tac&ling, and, fastening a hoo& to
the hole at the 8ro, of each, 1 tied all the cords together at the
end$ *hile 1 ,as th%s em8loyed, the enemy discharged several
tho%sand arro,s, many of ,hich st%c& in my hands and face, and,
beside the excessive smart, gave me m%ch dist%rbance in my ,or&$
6y greatest a88rehension ,as for mine eyes, ,hich 1 sho%ld have
infallibly lost, if 1 had not s%ddenly tho%ght of an ex8edient$ 1
&e8t, among other little necessaries, a 8air of s8ectacles in a
8rivate 8oc&et, ,hich, as 1 observed before, had esca8ed the
em8eror's searchers$ These 1 too& o%t and fastened as strongly as
1 co%ld %8on my nose, and th%s armed, ,ent on boldly ,ith my ,or&,
in s8ite of the enemy's arro,s, many of ,hich str%c& against the
glasses of my s8ectacles, b%t ,itho%t any other effect, f%rther
than a little to discom8ose them$ 1 had no, fastened all the
hoo&s, and, ta&ing the &not in my hand, began to 8%ll7 b%t not a
shi8 ,o%ld stir, for they ,ere all too fast held by their anchors,
so that the boldest 8art of my enter8rise remained$ 1 therefore
let go the cord, and leaving the loo&s fixed to the shi8s, 1
resol%tely c%t ,ith my &nife the cables that fastened the anchors,
receiving abo%t t,o h%ndred shots in my face and hands7 then 1 too&
%8 the &notted end of the cables, to ,hich my hoo&s ,ere tied, and
,ith great ease dre, fifty of the enemy's largest men of ,ar after
The Blef%sc%dians, ,ho had not the least imagination of ,hat 1
intended, ,ere at first confo%nded ,ith astonishment$ They had
seen me c%t the cables, and tho%ght my design ,as only to let the
shi8s r%n adrift or fall fo%l on each otherA b%t ,hen they
8erceived the ,hole fleet moving in order, and sa, me 8%lling at
the end, they set %8 s%ch a scream of grief and des8air as it is
almost im8ossible to describe or conceive$ *hen 1 had got o%t of
danger, 1 sto88ed a,hile to 8ic& o%t the arro,s that st%c& in my
hands and face7 and r%bbed on some of the same ointment that ,as
given me at my first arrival, as 1 have formerly mentioned$ 1 then
too& off my s8ectacles, and ,aiting abo%t an ho%r, till the tide
,as a little fallen, 1 ,aded thro%gh the middle ,ith my cargo, and
arrived safe at the royal 8ort of 0illi8%t$
The em8eror and his ,hole co%rt stood on the shore, ex8ecting the
iss%e of this great advent%re$ They sa, the shi8s move for,ard in
a large halfFmoon, b%t co%ld not discern me, ,ho ,as %8 to my
breast in ,ater$ *hen 1 advanced to the middle of the channel,
they ,ere yet more in 8ain, beca%se 1 ,as %nder ,ater to my nec&$
The em8eror concl%ded me to be dro,ned, and that the enemy's fleet
,as a88roaching in a hostile mannerA b%t he ,as soon eased of his
fears7 for the channel gro,ing shallo,er every ste8 1 made, 1 came
in a short time ,ithin hearing, and holding %8 the end of the
cable, by ,hich the fleet ,as fastened, 1 cried in a lo%d voice,
>0ong live the most 8%issant &ing of 0illi8%tM> This great 8rince
received me at my landing ,ith all 8ossible encomi%ms, and created
me a nardac %8on the s8ot, ,hich is the highest title of hono%r
among them$
-is ma?esty desired 1 ,o%ld ta&e some other o88ort%nity of bringing
all the rest of his enemy's shi8s into his 8orts$ 3nd so
%nmeas%reable is the ambition of 8rinces, that he seemed to thin&
of nothing less than red%cing the ,hole em8ire of Blef%sc% into a
8rovince, and governing it, by a viceroy7 of destroying the BigF
endian exiles, and com8elling that 8eo8le to brea& the smaller end
of their eggs, by ,hich he ,o%ld remain the sole monarch of the
,hole ,orld$ B%t 1 endeavo%red to divert him from this design, by
many arg%ments dra,n from the to8ics of 8olicy as ,ell as ?%stice7
and 1 8lainly 8rotested, >that 1 ,o%ld never be an instr%ment of
bringing a free and brave 8eo8le into slavery$> 3nd, ,hen the
matter ,as debated in co%ncil, the ,isest 8art of the ministry ,ere
of my o8inion$
This o8en bold declaration of mine ,as so o88osite to the schemes
and 8olitics of his im8erial ma?esty, that he co%ld never forgive
me$ -e mentioned it in a very artf%l manner at co%ncil, ,here 1
,as told that some of the ,isest a88eared, at least by their
silence, to be of my o8inion7 b%t others, ,ho ,ere my secret
enemies, co%ld not forbear some ex8ressions ,hich, by a sideF,ind,
reflected on me$ 3nd from this time began an intrig%e bet,een his
ma?esty and a ?%nto of ministers, malicio%sly bent against me,
,hich bro&e o%t in less than t,o months, and had li&e to have ended
in my %tter destr%ction$ 2f so little ,eight are the greatest
services to 8rinces, ,hen 8%t into the balance ,ith a ref%sal to
gratify their 8assions$
3bo%t three ,ee&s after this ex8loit, there arrived a solemn
embassy from Blef%sc%, ,ith h%mble offers of a 8eace, ,hich ,as
soon concl%ded, %8on conditions very advantageo%s to o%r em8eror,
,here,ith 1 shall not tro%ble the reader$ There ,ere six
ambassadors, ,ith a train of abo%t five h%ndred 8ersons, and their
entry ,as very magnificent, s%itable to the grande%r of their
master, and the im8ortance of their b%siness$ *hen their treaty
,as finished, ,herein 1 did them several good offices by the credit
1 no, had, or at least a88eared to have, at co%rt, their
excellencies, ,ho ,ere 8rivately told ho, m%ch 1 had been their
friend, made me a visit in form$ They began ,ith many com8liments
%8on my valo%r and generosity, invited me to that &ingdom in the
em8eror their master's name, and desired me to sho, them some
8roofs of my 8rodigio%s strength, of ,hich they had heard so many
,onders7 ,herein 1 readily obliged them, b%t shall not tro%ble the
reader ,ith the 8artic%lars$
*hen 1 had for some time entertained their excellencies, to their
infinite satisfaction and s%r8rise, 1 desired they ,o%ld do me the
hono%r to 8resent my most h%mble res8ects to the em8eror their
master, the reno,n of ,hose virt%es had so ?%stly filled the ,hole
,orld ,ith admiration, and ,hose royal 8erson 1 resolved to attend,
before 1 ret%rned to my o,n co%ntry$ 3ccordingly, the next time 1
had the hono%r to see o%r em8eror, 1 desired his general license to
,ait on the Blef%sc%dian monarch, ,hich he ,as 8leased to grant me,
as 1 co%ld 8erceive, in a very cold manner7 b%t co%ld not g%ess the
reason, till 1 had a ,his8er from a certain 8erson, >that <limna8
and Bolgolam had re8resented my interco%rse ,ith those ambassadors
as a mar& of disaffection7> from ,hich 1 am s%re my heart ,as
,holly free$ 3nd this ,as the first time 1 began to conceive some
im8erfect idea of co%rts and ministers$
1t is to be observed, that these ambassadors s8o&e to me, by an
inter8reter, the lang%ages of both em8ires differing as m%ch from
each other as any t,o in .%ro8e, and each nation 8riding itself
%8on the anti9%ity, bea%ty, and energy of their o,n tong%e, ,ith an
avo,ed contem8t for that of their neighbo%r7 yet o%r em8eror,
standing %8on the advantage he had got by the seiE%re of their
fleet, obliged them to deliver their credentials, and ma&e their
s8eech, in the 0illi8%tian tong%e$ 3nd it m%st be confessed, that
from the great interco%rse of trade and commerce bet,een both
realms, from the contin%al rece8tion of exiles ,hich is m%t%al
among them, and from the c%stom, in each em8ire, to send their
yo%ng nobility and richer gentry to the other, in order to 8olish
themselves by seeing the ,orld, and %nderstanding men and manners7
there are fe, 8ersons of distinction, or merchants, or seamen, ,ho
d,ell in the maritime 8arts, b%t ,hat can hold conversation in both
tong%es7 as 1 fo%nd some ,ee&s after, ,hen 1 ,ent to 8ay my
res8ects to the em8eror of Blef%sc%, ,hich, in the midst of great
misfort%nes, thro%gh the malice of my enemies, 8roved a very ha88y
advent%re to me, as 1 shall relate in its 8ro8er 8lace$
The reader may remember, that ,hen 1 signed those articles %8on
,hich 1 recovered my liberty, there ,ere some ,hich 1 disli&ed,
%8on acco%nt of their being too servile7 neither co%ld anything b%t
an extreme necessity have forced me to s%bmit$ B%t being no, a
nardac of the highest ran& in that em8ire, s%ch offices ,ere loo&ed
%8on as belo, my dignity, and the em8eror Bto do him ?%sticeC,
never once mentioned them to me$ -o,ever, it ,as not long before 1
had an o88ort%nity of doing his ma?esty, at least as 1 then
tho%ght, a most signal service$ 1 ,as alarmed at midnight ,ith the
cries of many h%ndred 8eo8le at my door7 by ,hich, being s%ddenly
a,a&ed, 1 ,as in some &ind of terror$ 1 heard the ,ord B%rgl%m
re8eated incessantlyA several of the em8eror's co%rt, ma&ing their
,ay thro%gh the cro,d, entreated me to come immediately to the
8alace, ,here her im8erial ma?esty's a8artment ,as on fire, by the
carelessness of a maid of hono%r, ,ho fell aslee8 ,hile she ,as
reading a romance$ 1 got %8 in an instant7 and orders being given
to clear the ,ay before me, and it being li&e,ise a moonshine
night, 1 made a shift to get to the 8alace ,itho%t tram8ling on any
of the 8eo8le$ 1 fo%nd they had already a88lied ladders to the
,alls of the a8artment, and ,ere ,ell 8rovided ,ith b%c&ets, b%t
the ,ater ,as at some distance$ These b%c&ets ,ere abo%t the siEe
of large thimbles, and the 8oor 8eo8le s%88lied me ,ith them as
fast as they co%ldA b%t the flame ,as so violent that they did
little good$ 1 might easily have stifled it ,ith my coat, ,hich 1
%nfort%nately left behind me for haste, and came a,ay only in my
leathern ?er&in$ The case seemed ,holly des8erate and de8lorable7
and this magnificent 8alace ,o%ld have infallibly been b%rnt do,n
to the gro%nd, if, by a 8resence of mind %n%s%al to me, 1 had not
s%ddenly tho%ght of an ex8edient$ 1 had, the evening before, dr%n&
8lentif%lly of a most delicio%s ,ine called glimigrim, Bthe
Blef%sc%dians call it fl%nec, b%t o%rs is esteemed the better
sort,C ,hich is very di%retic$ By the l%c&iest chance in the
,orld, 1 had not discharged myself of any 8art of it$ The heat 1
had contracted by coming very near the flames, and by labo%ring to
9%ench them, made the ,ine begin to o8erate by %rine7 ,hich 1
voided in s%ch a 9%antity, and a88lied so ,ell to the 8ro8er
8laces, that in three min%tes the fire ,as ,holly exting%ished, and
the rest of that noble 8ile, ,hich had cost so many ages in
erecting, 8reserved from destr%ction$
1t ,as no, dayFlight, and 1 ret%rned to my ho%se ,itho%t ,aiting to
congrat%late ,ith the em8erorA beca%se, altho%gh 1 had done a very
eminent 8iece of service, yet 1 co%ld not tell ho, his ma?esty
might resent the manner by ,hich 1 had 8erformed itA for, by the
f%ndamental la,s of the realm, it is ca8ital in any 8erson, of ,hat
9%ality soever, to ma&e ,ater ,ithin the 8recincts of the 8alace$
B%t 1 ,as a little comforted by a message from his ma?esty, >that
he ,o%ld give orders to the grand ?%sticiary for 8assing my 8ardon
in formA> ,hich, ho,ever, 1 co%ld not obtain7 and 1 ,as 8rivately
ass%red, >that the em8ress, conceiving the greatest abhorrence of
,hat 1 had done, removed to the most distant side of the co%rt,
firmly resolved that those b%ildings sho%ld never be re8aired for
her %seA and, in the 8resence of her chief confidents co%ld not
forbear vo,ing revenge$>
:-3PT.( =1$
42f the inhabitants of 0illi8%t7 their learning, la,s, and c%stoms7
the manner of ed%cating their children$ The a%thor's ,ay of living
in that co%ntry$ -is vindication of a great lady$5
3ltho%gh 1 intend to leave the descri8tion of this em8ire to a
8artic%lar treatise, yet, in the mean time, 1 am content to gratify
the c%rio%s reader ,ith some general ideas$ 3s the common siEe of
the natives is some,hat %nder six inches high, so there is an exact
8ro8ortion in all other animals, as ,ell as 8lants and treesA for
instance, the tallest horses and oxen are bet,een fo%r and five
inches in height, the shee8 an inch and half, more or lessA their
geese abo%t the bigness of a s8arro,, and so the several gradations
do,n,ards till yo% come to the smallest, ,hich to my sight, ,ere
almost invisible7 b%t nat%re has ada8ted the eyes of the
0illi8%tians to all ob?ects 8ro8er for their vie,A they see ,ith
great exactness, b%t at no great distance$ 3nd, to sho, the
shar8ness of their sight to,ards ob?ects that are near, 1 have been
m%ch 8leased ,ith observing a coo& 8%lling a lar&, ,hich ,as not so
large as a common fly7 and a yo%ng girl threading an invisible
needle ,ith invisible sil&$ Their tallest trees are abo%t seven
feet highA 1 mean some of those in the great royal 8ar&, the to8s
,hereof 1 co%ld b%t ?%st reach ,ith my fist clenched$ The other
vegetables are in the same 8ro8ortion7 b%t this 1 leave to the
reader's imagination$
1 shall say b%t little at 8resent of their learning, ,hich, for
many ages, has flo%rished in all its branches among themA b%t
their manner of ,riting is very 8ec%liar, being neither from the
left to the right, li&e the .%ro8eans, nor from the right to the
left, li&e the 3rabians, nor from %8 to do,n, li&e the :hinese, b%t
aslant, from one corner of the 8a8er to the other, li&e ladies in
They b%ry their dead ,ith their heads directly do,n,ard, beca%se
they hold an o8inion, that in eleven tho%sand moons they are all to
rise again7 in ,hich 8eriod the earth B,hich they conceive to be
flatC ,ill t%rn %8side do,n, and by this means they shall, at their
res%rrection, be fo%nd ready standing on their feet$ The learned
among them confess the abs%rdity of this doctrine7 b%t the 8ractice
still contin%es, in com8liance to the v%lgar$
There are some la,s and c%stoms in this em8ire very 8ec%liar7 and
if they ,ere not so directly contrary to those of my o,n dear
co%ntry, 1 sho%ld be tem8ted to say a little in their
?%stification$ 1t is only to be ,ished they ,ere as ,ell exec%ted$
The first 1 shall mention, relates to informers$ 3ll crimes
against the state, are 8%nished here ,ith the %tmost severity7 b%t,
if the 8erson acc%sed ma&es his innocence 8lainly to a88ear %8on
his trial, the acc%ser is immediately 8%t to an ignominio%s death7
and o%t of his goods or lands the innocent 8erson is 9%adr%8ly
recom8ensed for the loss of his time, for the danger he %nder,ent,
for the hardshi8 of his im8risonment, and for all the charges he
has been at in ma&ing his defence7 or, if that f%nd be deficient,
it is largely s%88lied by the cro,n$ The em8eror also confers on
him some 8%blic mar& of his favo%r, and 8roclamation is made of his
innocence thro%gh the ,hole city$
They loo& %8on fra%d as a greater crime than theft, and therefore
seldom fail to 8%nish it ,ith death7 for they allege, that care and
vigilance, ,ith a very common %nderstanding, may 8reserve a man's
goods from thieves, b%t honesty has no defence against s%8erior
c%nning7 and, since it is necessary that there sho%ld be a
8er8et%al interco%rse of b%ying and selling, and dealing %8on
credit, ,here fra%d is 8ermitted and connived at, or has no la, to
8%nish it, the honest dealer is al,ays %ndone, and the &nave gets
the advantage$ 1 remember, ,hen 1 ,as once interceding ,ith the
em8eror for a criminal ,ho had ,ronged his master of a great s%m of
money, ,hich he had received by order and ran a,ay ,ith7 and
ha88ening to tell his ma?esty, by ,ay of exten%ation, that it ,as
only a breach of tr%st, the em8eror tho%ght it monstro%s in me to
offer as a defence the greatest aggravation of the crime7 and tr%ly
1 had little to say in ret%rn, farther than the common ans,er, that
different nations had different c%stoms7 for, 1 confess, 1 ,as
heartily ashamed$ J2K
3ltho%gh ,e %s%ally call re,ard and 8%nishment the t,o hinges %8on
,hich all government t%rns, yet 1 co%ld never observe this maxim to
be 8%t in 8ractice by any nation exce8t that of 0illi8%t$ *hoever
can there bring s%fficient 8roof, that he has strictly observed the
la,s of his co%ntry for seventyFthree moons, has a claim to certain
8rivileges, according to his 9%ality or condition of life, ,ith a
8ro8ortionable s%m of money o%t of a f%nd a88ro8riated for that
%seA he li&e,ise ac9%ires the title of snil8all, or legal, ,hich
is added to his name, b%t does not descend to his 8osterity$ 3nd
these 8eo8le tho%ght it a 8rodigio%s defect of 8olicy among %s,
,hen 1 told them that o%r la,s ,ere enforced only by 8enalties,
,itho%t any mention of re,ard$ 1t is %8on this acco%nt that the
image of +%stice, in their co%rts of ?%dicat%re, is formed ,ith six
eyes, t,o before, as many behind, and on each side one, to signify
circ%ms8ection7 ,ith a bag of gold o8en in her right hand, and a
s,ord sheathed in her left, to sho, she is more dis8osed to re,ard
than to 8%nish$
1n choosing 8ersons for all em8loyments, they have more regard to
good morals than to great abilities7 for, since government is
necessary to man&ind, they believe, that the common siEe of h%man
%nderstanding is fitted to some station or other7 and that
Providence never intended to ma&e the management of 8%blic affairs
a mystery to be com8rehended only by a fe, 8ersons of s%blime
geni%s, of ,hich there seldom are three born in an ageA b%t they
s%88ose tr%th, ?%stice, tem8erance, and the li&e, to be in every
man's 8o,er7 the 8ractice of ,hich virt%es, assisted by ex8erience
and a good intention, ,o%ld 9%alify any man for the service of his
co%ntry, exce8t ,here a co%rse of st%dy is re9%ired$ B%t they
tho%ght the ,ant of moral virt%es ,as so far from being s%88lied by
s%8erior endo,ments of the mind, that em8loyments co%ld never be
8%t into s%ch dangero%s hands as those of 8ersons so 9%alified7
and, at least, that the mista&es committed by ignorance, in a
virt%o%s dis8osition, ,o%ld never be of s%ch fatal conse9%ence to
the 8%blic ,eal, as the 8ractices of a man, ,hose inclinations led
him to be corr%8t, and ,ho had great abilities to manage, to
m%lti8ly, and defend his corr%8tions$
1n li&e manner, the disbelief of a Divine Providence renders a man
inca8able of holding any 8%blic station7 for, since &ings avo,
themselves to be the de8%ties of Providence, the 0illi8%tians thin&
nothing can be more abs%rd than for a 8rince to em8loy s%ch men as
diso,n the a%thority %nder ,hich he acts$
1n relating these and the follo,ing la,s, 1 ,o%ld only be
%nderstood to mean the original instit%tions, and not the most
scandalo%s corr%8tions, into ,hich these 8eo8le are fallen by the
degenerate nat%re of man$ <or, as to that infamo%s 8ractice of
ac9%iring great em8loyments by dancing on the ro8es, or badges of
favo%r and distinction by lea8ing over stic&s and cree8ing %nder
them, the reader is to observe, that they ,ere first introd%ced by
the grandfather of the em8eror no, reigning, and gre, to the
8resent height by the grad%al increase of 8arty and faction$
1ngratit%de is among them a ca8ital crime, as ,e read it to have
been in some other co%ntriesA for they reason th%s7 that ,hoever
ma&es ill ret%rns to his benefactor, m%st needs be a common enemy
to the rest of man&ind, from ,hom he has received no obligation,
and therefore s%ch a man is not fit to live$
Their notions relating to the d%ties of 8arents and children differ
extremely from o%rs$ <or, since the con?%nction of male and female
is fo%nded %8on the great la, of nat%re, in order to 8ro8agate and
contin%e the s8ecies, the 0illi8%tians ,ill needs have it, that men
and ,omen are ?oined together, li&e other animals, by the motives
of conc%8iscence7 and that their tenderness to,ards their yo%ng
8roceeds from the li&e nat%ral 8rinci8leA for ,hich reason they
,ill never allo, that a child is %nder any obligation to his father
for begetting him, or to his mother for bringing him into the
,orld7 ,hich, considering the miseries of h%man life, ,as neither a
benefit in itself, nor intended so by his 8arents, ,hose tho%ghts,
in their love enco%nters, ,ere other,ise em8loyed$ /8on these, and
the li&e reasonings, their o8inion is, that 8arents are the last of
all others to be tr%sted ,ith the ed%cation of their o,n children7
and therefore they have in every to,n 8%blic n%rseries, ,here all
8arents, exce8t cottagers and labo%rers, are obliged to send their
infants of both sexes to be reared and ed%cated, ,hen they come to
the age of t,enty moons, at ,hich time they are s%88osed to have
some r%diments of docility$ These schools are of several &inds,
s%ited to different 9%alities, and both sexes$ They have certain
8rofessors ,ell s&illed in 8re8aring children for s%ch a condition
of life as befits the ran& of their 8arents, and their o,n
ca8acities, as ,ell as inclinations$ 1 shall first say something
of the male n%rseries, and then of the female$
The n%rseries for males of noble or eminent birth, are 8rovided
,ith grave and learned 8rofessors, and their several de8%ties$ The
clothes and food of the children are 8lain and sim8le$ They are
bred %8 in the 8rinci8les of hono%r, ?%stice, co%rage, modesty,
clemency, religion, and love of their co%ntry7 they are al,ays
em8loyed in some b%siness, exce8t in the times of eating and
slee8ing, ,hich are very short, and t,o ho%rs for diversions
consisting of bodily exercises$ They are dressed by men till fo%r
years of age, and then are obliged to dress themselves, altho%gh
their 9%ality be ever so great7 and the ,omen attendant, ,ho are
aged 8ro8ortionably to o%rs at fifty, 8erform only the most menial
offices$ They are never s%ffered to converse ,ith servants, b%t go
together in smaller or greater n%mbers to ta&e their diversions,
and al,ays in the 8resence of a 8rofessor, or one of his de8%ties7
,hereby they avoid those early bad im8ressions of folly and vice,
to ,hich o%r children are s%b?ect$ Their 8arents are s%ffered to
see them only t,ice a year7 the visit is to last b%t an ho%r7 they
are allo,ed to &iss the child at meeting and 8arting7 b%t a
8rofessor, ,ho al,ays stands by on those occasions, ,ill not s%ffer
them to ,his8er, or %se any fondling ex8ressions, or bring any
8resents of toys, s,eetmeats, and the li&e$
The 8ension from each family for the ed%cation and entertainment of
a child, %8on fail%re of d%e 8ayment, is levied by the em8eror's
The n%rseries for children of ordinary gentlemen, merchants,
traders, and handicrafts, are managed 8ro8ortionably after the same
manner7 only those designed for trades are 8%t o%t a88rentices at
eleven years old, ,hereas those of 8ersons of 9%ality contin%e in
their exercises till fifteen, ,hich ans,ers to t,entyFone ,ith %sA
b%t the confinement is grad%ally lessened for the last three years$
1n the female n%rseries, the yo%ng girls of 9%ality are ed%cated
m%ch li&e the males, only they are dressed by orderly servants of
their o,n sex7 b%t al,ays in the 8resence of a 8rofessor or de8%ty,
till they come to dress themselves, ,hich is at five years old$
3nd if it be fo%nd that these n%rses ever 8res%me to entertain the
girls ,ith frightf%l or foolish stories, or the common follies
8ractised by chambermaids among %s, they are 8%blicly ,hi88ed
thrice abo%t the city, im8risoned for a year, and banished for life
to the most desolate 8art of the co%ntry$ Th%s the yo%ng ladies
are as m%ch ashamed of being co,ards and fools as the men, and
des8ise all 8ersonal ornaments, beyond decency and cleanlinessA
neither did 1 8erceive any difference in their ed%cation made by
their difference of sex, only that the exercises of the females
,ere not altogether so rob%st7 and that some r%les ,ere given them
relating to domestic life, and a smaller com8ass of learning ,as
en?oined themA for their maxim is, that among 8eo8les of 9%ality,
a ,ife sho%ld be al,ays a reasonable and agreeable com8anion,
beca%se she cannot al,ays be yo%ng$ *hen the girls are t,elve
years old, ,hich among them is the marriageable age, their 8arents
or g%ardians ta&e them home, ,ith great ex8ressions of gratit%de to
the 8rofessors, and seldom ,itho%t tears of the yo%ng lady and her
1n the n%rseries of females of the meaner sort, the children are
instr%cted in all &inds of ,or&s 8ro8er for their sex, and their
several degreesA those intended for a88rentices are dismissed at
seven years old, the rest are &e8t to eleven$
The meaner families ,ho have children at these n%rseries, are
obliged, besides their ann%al 8ension, ,hich is as lo, as 8ossible,
to ret%rn to the ste,ard of the n%rsery a small monthly share of
their gettings, to be a 8ortion for the child7 and therefore all
8arents are limited in their ex8enses by the la,$ <or the
0illi8%tians thin& nothing can be more %n?%st, than for 8eo8le, in
s%bservience to their o,n a88etites, to bring children into the
,orld, and leave the b%rthen of s%88orting them on the 8%blic$ 3s
to 8ersons of 9%ality, they give sec%rity to a88ro8riate a certain
s%m for each child, s%itable to their condition7 and these f%nds
are al,ays managed ,ith good h%sbandry and the most exact ?%stice$
The cottagers and labo%rers &ee8 their children at home, their
b%siness being only to till and c%ltivate the earth, and therefore
their ed%cation is of little conse9%ence to the 8%blicA b%t the
old and diseased among them, are s%88orted by hos8itals7 for
begging is a trade %n&no,n in this em8ire$
3nd here it may, 8erha8s, divert the c%rio%s reader, to give some
acco%nt of my domestics, and my manner of living in this co%ntry,
d%ring a residence of nine months, and thirteen days$ -aving a
head mechanically t%rned, and being li&e,ise forced by necessity, 1
had made for myself a table and chair convenient eno%gh, o%t of the
largest trees in the royal 8ar&$ T,o h%ndred sem8stresses ,ere
em8loyed to ma&e me shirts, and linen for my bed and table, all of
the strongest and coarsest &ind they co%ld get7 ,hich, ho,ever,
they ,ere forced to 9%ilt together in several folds, for the
thic&est ,as some degrees finer than la,n$ Their linen is %s%ally
three inches ,ide, and three feet ma&e a 8iece$ The sem8stresses
too& my meas%re as 1 lay on the gro%nd, one standing at my nec&,
and another at my midFleg, ,ith a strong cord extended, that each
held by the end, ,hile a third meas%red the length of the cord ,ith
a r%le of an inch long$ Then they meas%red my right th%mb, and
desired no more7 for by a mathematical com8%tation, that t,ice
ro%nd the th%mb is once ro%nd the ,rist, and so on to the nec& and
the ,aist, and by the hel8 of my old shirt, ,hich 1 dis8layed on
the gro%nd before them for a 8attern, they fitted me exactly$
Three h%ndred tailors ,ere em8loyed in the same manner to ma&e me
clothes7 b%t they had another contrivance for ta&ing my meas%re$ 1
&neeled do,n, and they raised a ladder from the gro%nd to my nec&7
%8on this ladder one of them mo%nted, and let fall a 8l%mbFline
from my collar to the floor, ,hich ?%st ans,ered the length of my
coatA b%t my ,aist and arms 1 meas%red myself$ *hen my clothes
,ere finished, ,hich ,as done in my ho%se Bfor the largest of
theirs ,o%ld not have been able to hold themC, they loo&ed li&e the
8atchF,or& made by the ladies in .ngland, only that mine ,ere all
of a colo%r$
1 had three h%ndred coo&s to dress my vict%als, in little
convenient h%ts b%ilt abo%t my ho%se, ,here they and their families
lived, and 8re8ared me t,o dishes aF8iece$ 1 too& %8 t,enty
,aiters in my hand, and 8laced them on the tableA a h%ndred more
attended belo, on the gro%nd, some ,ith dishes of meat, and some
,ith barrels of ,ine and other li9%ors sl%ng on their sho%lders7
all ,hich the ,aiters above dre, %8, as 1 ,anted, in a very
ingenio%s manner, by certain cords, as ,e dra, the b%c&et %8 a ,ell
in .%ro8e$ 3 dish of their meat ,as a good mo%thf%l, and a barrel
of their li9%or a reasonable dra%ght$ Their m%tton yields to o%rs,
b%t their beef is excellent$ 1 have had a sirloin so large, that 1
have been forced to ma&e three bites of it7 b%t this is rare$ 6y
servants ,ere astonished to see me eat it, bones and all, as in o%r
co%ntry ,e do the leg of a lar&$ Their geese and t%r&eys 1 %s%ally
ate at a mo%thf%l, and 1 confess they far exceed o%rs$ 2f their
smaller fo,l 1 co%ld ta&e %8 t,enty or thirty at the end of my
2ne day his im8erial ma?esty, being informed of my ,ay of living,
desired >that himself and his royal consort, ,ith the yo%ng 8rinces
of the blood of both sexes, might have the ha88iness,> as he ,as
8leased to call it, >of dining ,ith me$> They came accordingly,
and 1 8laced them in chairs of state, %8on my table, ?%st over
against me, ,ith their g%ards abo%t them$ <limna8, the lord high
treas%rer, attended there li&e,ise ,ith his ,hite staff7 and 1
observed he often loo&ed on me ,ith a so%r co%ntenance, ,hich 1
,o%ld not seem to regard, b%t ate more than %s%al, in hono%r to my
dear co%ntry, as ,ell as to fill the co%rt ,ith admiration$ 1 have
some 8rivate reasons to believe, that this visit from his ma?esty
gave <limna8 an o88ort%nity of doing me ill offices to his master$
That minister had al,ays been my secret enemy, tho%gh he o%t,ardly
caressed me more than ,as %s%al to the moroseness of his nat%re$
-e re8resented to the em8eror >the lo, condition of his treas%ry7
that he ,as forced to ta&e %8 money at a great disco%nt7 that
exche9%er bills ,o%ld not circ%late %nder nine 8er cent$ belo, 8ar7
that 1 had cost his ma?esty above a million and a half of s8r%gs>
Btheir greatest gold coin, abo%t the bigness of a s8angleC >and,
%8on the ,hole, that it ,o%ld be advisable in the em8eror to ta&e
the first fair occasion of dismissing me$>
1 am here obliged to vindicate the re8%tation of an excellent lady,
,ho ,as an innocent s%fferer %8on my acco%nt$ The treas%rer too& a
fancy to be ?ealo%s of his ,ife, from the malice of some evil
tong%es, ,ho informed him that her grace had ta&en a violent
affection for my 8erson7 and the co%rt scandal ran for some time,
that she once came 8rivately to my lodging$ This 1 solemnly
declare to be a most infamo%s falsehood, ,itho%t any gro%nds,
f%rther than that her grace ,as 8leased to treat me ,ith all
innocent mar&s of freedom and friendshi8$ 1 o,n she came often to
my ho%se, b%t al,ays 8%blicly, nor ever ,itho%t three more in the
coach, ,ho ,ere %s%ally her sister and yo%ng da%ghter, and some
8artic%lar ac9%aintance7 b%t this ,as common to many other ladies
of the co%rt$ 3nd 1 still a88eal to my servants ro%nd, ,hether
they at any time sa, a coach at my door, ,itho%t &no,ing ,hat
8ersons ,ere in it$ 2n those occasions, ,hen a servant had given
me notice, my c%stom ,as to go immediately to the door, and, after
8aying my res8ects, to ta&e %8 the coach and t,o horses very
caref%lly in my hands Bfor, if there ,ere six horses, the
8ostillion al,ays %nharnessed fo%r,C and 8lace them on a table,
,here 1 had fixed a movable rim 9%ite ro%nd, of five inches high,
to 8revent accidents$ 3nd 1 have often had fo%r coaches and horses
at once on my table, f%ll of com8any, ,hile 1 sat in my chair,
leaning my face to,ards them7 and ,hen 1 ,as engaged ,ith one set,
the coachmen ,o%ld gently drive the others ro%nd my table$ 1 have
8assed many an afternoon very agreeably in these conversations$
B%t 1 defy the treas%rer, or his t,o informers B1 ,ill name them,
and let them ma&e the best of itC :l%stril and Dr%nlo, to 8rove
that any 8erson ever came to me incognito, exce8t the secretary
(eldresal, ,ho ,as sent by ex8ress command of his im8erial ma?esty,
as 1 have before related$ 1 sho%ld not have d,elt so long %8on
this 8artic%lar, if it had not been a 8oint ,herein the re8%tation
of a great lady is so nearly concerned, to say nothing of my o,n7
tho%gh 1 then had the hono%r to be a nardac, ,hich the treas%rer
himself is not7 for all the ,orld &no,s, that he is only a
gl%mgl%m, a title inferior by one degree, as that of a mar9%is is
to a d%&e in .ngland7 yet 1 allo, he 8receded me in right of his
8ost$ These false informations, ,hich 1 after,ards came to the
&no,ledge of by an accident not 8ro8er to mention, made the
treas%rer sho, his lady for some time an ill co%ntenance, and me a
,orse7 and altho%gh he ,as at last %ndeceived and reconciled to
her, yet 1 lost all credit ,ith him, and fo%nd my interest decline
very fast ,ith the em8eror himself, ,ho ,as, indeed, too m%ch
governed by that favo%rite$
:-3PT.( =11$
4The a%thor, being informed of a design to acc%se him of highF
treason, ma&es his esca8e to Blef%sc%$ -is rece8tion there$5
Before 1 8roceed to give an acco%nt of my leaving this &ingdom, it
may be 8ro8er to inform the reader of a 8rivate intrig%e ,hich had
been for t,o months forming against me$
1 had been hitherto, all my life, a stranger to co%rts, for ,hich 1
,as %n9%alified by the meanness of my condition$ 1 had indeed
heard and read eno%gh of the dis8ositions of great 8rinces and
ministers, b%t never ex8ected to have fo%nd s%ch terrible effects
of them, in so remote a co%ntry, governed, as 1 tho%ght, by very
different maxims from those in .%ro8e$
*hen 1 ,as ?%st 8re8aring to 8ay my attendance on the em8eror of
Blef%sc%, a considerable 8erson at co%rt Bto ,hom 1 had been very
serviceable, at a time ,hen he lay %nder the highest dis8leas%re of
his im8erial ma?estyC came to my ho%se very 8rivately at night, in
a close chair, and, ,itho%t sending his name, desired admittance$
The chairmen ,ere dismissed7 1 8%t the chair, ,ith his lordshi8 in
it, into my coatF8oc&etA and, giving orders to a tr%sty servant,
to say 1 ,as indis8osed and gone to slee8, 1 fastened the door of
my ho%se, 8laced the chair on the table, according to my %s%al
c%stom, and sat do,n by it$ 3fter the common sal%tations ,ere
over, observing his lordshi8's co%ntenance f%ll of concern, and
in9%iring into the reason, he desired >1 ,o%ld hear him ,ith
8atience, in a matter that highly concerned my hono%r and my life$>
-is s8eech ,as to the follo,ing effect, for 1 too& notes of it as
soon as he left meAF
>;o% are to &no,,> said he, >that several committees of co%ncil
have been lately called, in the most 8rivate manner, on yo%r
acco%nt7 and it is b%t t,o days since his ma?esty came to a f%ll
>;o% are very sensible that S&yresh Bolgolam> Bgalbet, or highF
admiralC >has been yo%r mortal enemy, almost ever since yo%r
arrival$ -is original reasons 1 &no, not7 b%t his hatred is
increased since yo%r great s%ccess against Blef%sc%, by ,hich his
glory as admiral is m%ch obsc%red$ This lord, in con?%nction ,ith
<limna8 the highFtreas%rer, ,hose enmity against yo% is notorio%s
on acco%nt of his lady, 0imtoc the general, 0alcon the chamberlain,
and Balm%ff the grand ?%sticiary, have 8re8ared articles of
im8eachment against yo%, for treason and other ca8ital crimes$>
This 8reface made me so im8atient, being conscio%s of my o,n merits
and innocence, that 1 ,as going to interr%8t him7 ,hen he entreated
me to be silent, and th%s 8roceededAF
>2%t of gratit%de for the favo%rs yo% have done me, 1 8roc%red
information of the ,hole 8roceedings, and a co8y of the articles7
,herein 1 vent%re my head for yo%r service$
>'3rticles of 1m8eachment against @/1)B/S <0.ST(1), Bthe 6anF
3(T1:0. 1$
>'*hereas, by a stat%te made in the reign of his im8erial ma?esty
:alin Deffar Pl%ne, it is enacted, that, ,hoever shall ma&e ,ater
,ithin the 8recincts of the royal 8alace, shall be liable to the
8ains and 8enalties of highFtreason7 not,ithstanding, the said
@%inb%s <lestrin, in o8en breach of the said la,, %nder colo%r of
exting%ishing the fire &indled in the a8artment of his ma?esty's
most dear im8erial consort, did malicio%sly, traitoro%sly, and
devilishly, by discharge of his %rine, 8%t o%t the said fire
&indled in the said a8artment, lying and being ,ithin the 8recincts
of the said royal 8alace, against the stat%te in that case
8rovided, etc$ against the d%ty, etc$
3(T1:0. 11$
>'That the said @%inb%s <lestrin, having bro%ght the im8erial fleet
of Blef%sc% into the royal 8ort, and being after,ards commanded by
his im8erial ma?esty to seiEe all the other shi8s of the said
em8ire of Blef%sc%, and red%ce that em8ire to a 8rovince, to be
governed by a viceroy from hence, and to destroy and 8%t to death,
not only all the BigFendian exiles, b%t li&e,ise all the 8eo8le of
that em8ire ,ho ,o%ld not immediately forsa&e the BigFendian
heresy, he, the said <lestrin, li&e a false traitor against his
most a%s8icio%s, serene, im8erial ma?esty, did 8etition to be
exc%sed from the said service, %8on 8retence of %n,illingness to
force the consciences, or destroy the liberties and lives of an
innocent 8eo8le$
3(T1:0. 111$
>'That, ,hereas certain ambassadors arrived from the :o%rt of
Blef%sc%, to s%e for 8eace in his ma?esty's co%rt, he, the said
<lestrin, did, li&e a false traitor, aid, abet, comfort, and
divert, the said ambassadors, altho%gh he &ne, them to be servants
to a 8rince ,ho ,as lately an o8en enemy to his im8erial ma?esty,
and in an o8en ,ar against his said ma?esty$
3(T1:0. 1=$
>'That the said @%inb%s <lestrin, contrary to the d%ty of a
faithf%l s%b?ect, is no, 8re8aring to ma&e a voyage to the co%rt
and em8ire of Blef%sc%, for ,hich he has received only verbal
license from his im8erial ma?esty7 and, %nder colo%r of the said
license, does falsely and traitoro%sly intend to ta&e the said
voyage, and thereby to aid, comfort, and abet the em8eror of
Blef%sc%, so lately an enemy, and in o8en ,ar ,ith his im8erial
ma?esty aforesaid$'
>There are some other articles7 b%t these are the most im8ortant,
of ,hich 1 have read yo% an abstract$
>1n the several debates %8on this im8eachment, it m%st be confessed
that his ma?esty gave many mar&s of his great lenity7 often %rging
the services yo% had done him, and endeavo%ring to exten%ate yo%r
crimes$ The treas%rer and admiral insisted that yo% sho%ld be 8%t
to the most 8ainf%l and ignominio%s death, by setting fire to yo%r
ho%se at night, and the general ,as to attend ,ith t,enty tho%sand
men, armed ,ith 8oisoned arro,s, to shoot yo% on the face and
hands$ Some of yo%r servants ,ere to have 8rivate orders to stre,
a 8oisono%s ?%ice on yo%r shirts and sheets, ,hich ,o%ld soon ma&e
yo% tear yo%r o,n flesh, and die in the %tmost tort%re$ The
general came into the same o8inion7 so that for a long time there
,as a ma?ority against yo%7 b%t his ma?esty resolving, if 8ossible,
to s8are yo%r life, at last bro%ght off the chamberlain$
>/8on this incident, (eldresal, 8rinci8al secretary for 8rivate
affairs, ,ho al,ays a88roved himself yo%r tr%e friend, ,as
commanded by the em8eror to deliver his o8inion, ,hich he
accordingly did7 and therein ?%stified the good tho%ghts yo% have
of him$ -e allo,ed yo%r crimes to be great, b%t that still there
,as room for mercy, the most commendable virt%e in a 8rince, and
for ,hich his ma?esty ,as so ?%stly celebrated$ -e said, the
friendshi8 bet,een yo% and him ,as so ,ell &no,n to the ,orld, that
8erha8s the most hono%rable board might thin& him 8artial7 ho,ever,
in obedience to the command he had received, he ,o%ld freely offer
his sentiments$ That if his ma?esty, in consideration of yo%r
services, and 8%rs%ant to his o,n mercif%l dis8osition, ,o%ld
8lease to s8are yo%r life, and only give orders to 8%t o%t both
yo%r eyes, he h%mbly conceived, that by this ex8edient ?%stice
might in some meas%re be satisfied, and all the ,orld ,o%ld a88la%d
the lenity of the em8eror, as ,ell as the fair and genero%s
8roceedings of those ,ho have the hono%r to be his co%nsellors$
That the loss of yo%r eyes ,o%ld be no im8ediment to yo%r bodily
strength, by ,hich yo% might still be %sef%l to his ma?esty7 that
blindness is an addition to co%rage, by concealing dangers from %s7
that the fear yo% had for yo%r eyes, ,as the greatest diffic%lty in
bringing over the enemy's fleet, and it ,o%ld be s%fficient for yo%
to see by the eyes of the ministers, since the greatest 8rinces do
no more$
>This 8ro8osal ,as received ,ith the %tmost disa88robation by the
,hole board$ Bolgolam, the admiral, co%ld not 8reserve his tem8er,
b%t, rising %8 in f%ry, said, he ,ondered ho, the secretary d%rst
8res%me to give his o8inion for 8reserving the life of a traitor7
that the services yo% had 8erformed ,ere, by all tr%e reasons of
state, the great aggravation of yo%r crimes7 that yo%, ,ho ,ere
able to exting%ish the fire by discharge of %rine in her ma?esty's
a8artment B,hich he mentioned ,ith horrorC, might, at another time,
raise an in%ndation by the same means, to dro,n the ,hole 8alace7
and the same strength ,hich enabled yo% to bring over the enemy's
fleet, might serve, %8on the first discontent, to carry it bac&7
that he had good reasons to thin& yo% ,ere a BigFendian in yo%r
heart7 and, as treason begins in the heart, before it a88ears in
overtFacts, so he acc%sed yo% as a traitor on that acco%nt, and
therefore insisted yo% sho%ld be 8%t to death$
>The treas%rer ,as of the same o8inionA he sho,ed to ,hat straits
his ma?esty's reven%e ,as red%ced, by the charge of maintaining
yo%, ,hich ,o%ld soon gro, ins%88ortable7 that the secretary's
ex8edient of 8%tting o%t yo%r eyes, ,as so far from being a remedy
against this evil, that it ,o%ld 8robably increase it, as is
manifest from the common 8ractice of blinding some &ind of fo,ls,
after ,hich they fed the faster, and gre, sooner fat7 that his
sacred ma?esty and the co%ncil, ,ho are yo%r ?%dges, ,ere, in their
o,n consciences, f%lly convinced of yo%r g%ilt, ,hich ,as a
s%fficient arg%ment to condemn yo% to death, ,itho%t the formal
8roofs re9%ired by the strict letter of the la,$
>B%t his im8erial ma?esty, f%lly determined against ca8ital
8%nishment, ,as gracio%sly 8leased to say, that since the co%ncil
tho%ght the loss of yo%r eyes too easy a cens%re, some other ,ay
may be inflicted hereafter$ 3nd yo%r friend the secretary, h%mbly
desiring to be heard again, in ans,er to ,hat the treas%rer had
ob?ected, concerning the great charge his ma?esty ,as at in
maintaining yo%, said, that his excellency, ,ho had the sole
dis8osal of the em8eror's reven%e, might easily 8rovide against
that evil, by grad%ally lessening yo%r establishment7 by ,hich, for
,ant of s%fficient for yo% ,o%ld gro, ,ea& and faint, and lose yo%r
a88etite, and conse9%ently, decay, and cons%me in a fe, months7
neither ,o%ld the stench of yo%r carcass be then so dangero%s, ,hen
it sho%ld become more than half diminished7 and immediately %8on
yo%r death five or six tho%sand of his ma?esty's s%b?ects might, in
t,o or three days, c%t yo%r flesh from yo%r bones, ta&e it a,ay by
cartFloads, and b%ry it in distant 8arts, to 8revent infection,
leaving the s&eleton as a mon%ment of admiration to 8osterity$
>Th%s, by the great friendshi8 of the secretary, the ,hole affair
,as com8romised$ 1t ,as strictly en?oined, that the 8ro?ect of
starving yo% by degrees sho%ld be &e8t a secret7 b%t the sentence
of 8%tting o%t yo%r eyes ,as entered on the boo&s7 none dissenting,
exce8t Bolgolam the admiral, ,ho, being a creat%re of the em8ress,
,as 8er8et%ally instigated by her ma?esty to insist %8on yo%r
death, she having borne 8er8et%al malice against yo%, on acco%nt of
that infamo%s and illegal method yo% too& to exting%ish the fire in
her a8artment$
>1n three days yo%r friend the secretary ,ill be directed to come
to yo%r ho%se, and read before yo% the articles of im8eachment7 and
then to signify the great lenity and favo%r of his ma?esty and
co%ncil, ,hereby yo% are only condemned to the loss of yo%r eyes,
,hich his ma?esty does not 9%estion yo% ,ill gratef%lly and h%mbly
s%bmit to7 and t,enty of his ma?esty's s%rgeons ,ill attend, in
order to see the o8eration ,ell 8erformed, by discharging very
shar8F8ointed arro,s into the balls of yo%r eyes, as yo% lie on the
>1 leave to yo%r 8r%dence ,hat meas%res yo% ,ill ta&e7 and to avoid
s%s8icion, 1 m%st immediately ret%rn in as 8rivate a manner as 1
-is lordshi8 did so7 and 1 remained alone, %nder many do%bts and
8er8lexities of mind$
1t ,as a c%stom introd%ced by this 8rince and his ministry Bvery
different, as 1 have been ass%red, from the 8ractice of former
times,C that after the co%rt had decreed any cr%el exec%tion,
either to gratify the monarch's resentment, or the malice of a
favo%rite, the em8eror al,ays made a s8eech to his ,hole co%ncil,
ex8ressing his great lenity and tenderness, as 9%alities &no,n and
confessed by all the ,orld$ This s8eech ,as immediately 8%blished
thro%gho%t the &ingdom7 nor did any thing terrify the 8eo8le so
m%ch as those encomi%ms on his ma?esty's mercy7 beca%se it ,as
observed, that the more these 8raises ,ere enlarged and insisted
on, the more inh%man ,as the 8%nishment, and the s%fferer more
innocent$ ;et, as to myself, 1 m%st confess, having never been
designed for a co%rtier, either by my birth or ed%cation, 1 ,as so
ill a ?%dge of things, that 1 co%ld not discover the lenity and
favo%r of this sentence, b%t conceived it B8erha8s erroneo%slyC
rather to be rigoro%s than gentle$ 1 sometimes tho%ght of standing
my trial, for, altho%gh 1 co%ld not deny the facts alleged in the
several articles, yet 1 ho8ed they ,o%ld admit of some exten%ation$
B%t having in my life 8er%sed many stateFtrials, ,hich 1 ever
observed to terminate as the ?%dges tho%ght fit to direct, 1 d%rst
not rely on so dangero%s a decision, in so critical a ?%nct%re, and
against s%ch 8o,erf%l enemies$ 2nce 1 ,as strongly bent %8on
resistance, for, ,hile 1 had liberty the ,hole strength of that
em8ire co%ld hardly s%bd%e me, and 1 might easily ,ith stones 8elt
the metro8olis to 8ieces7 b%t 1 soon re?ected that 8ro?ect ,ith
horror, by remembering the oath 1 had made to the em8eror, the
favo%rs 1 received from him, and the high title of nardac he
conferred %8on me$ )either had 1 so soon learned the gratit%de of
co%rtiers, to 8ers%ade myself, that his ma?esty's 8resent seventies
ac9%itted me of all 8ast obligations$
3t last, 1 fixed %8on a resol%tion, for ,hich it is 8robable 1 may
inc%r some cens%re, and not %n?%stly7 for 1 confess 1 o,e the
8reserving of mine eyes, and conse9%ently my liberty, to my o,n
great rashness and ,ant of ex8erience7 beca%se, if 1 had then &no,n
the nat%re of 8rinces and ministers, ,hich 1 have since observed in
many other co%rts, and their methods of treating criminals less
obnoxio%s than myself, 1 sho%ld, ,ith great alacrity and readiness,
have s%bmitted to so easy a 8%nishment$ B%t h%rried on by the
8reci8itancy of yo%th, and having his im8erial ma?esty's license to
8ay my attendance %8on the em8eror of Blef%sc%, 1 too& this
o88ort%nity, before the three days ,ere ela8sed, to send a letter
to my friend the secretary, signifying my resol%tion of setting o%t
that morning for Blef%sc%, 8%rs%ant to the leave 1 had got7 and,
,itho%t ,aiting for an ans,er, 1 ,ent to that side of the island
,here o%r fleet lay$ 1 seiEed a large man of ,ar, tied a cable to
the 8ro,, and, lifting %8 the anchors, 1 stri88ed myself, 8%t my
clothes Btogether ,ith my coverlet, ,hich 1 carried %nder my armC
into the vessel, and, dra,ing it after me, bet,een ,ading and
s,imming arrived at the royal 8ort of Blef%sc%, ,here the 8eo8le
had long ex8ected meA they lent me t,o g%ides to direct me to the
ca8ital city, ,hich is of the same name$ 1 held them in my hands,
till 1 came ,ithin t,o h%ndred yards of the gate, and desired them
>to signify my arrival to one of the secretaries, and let him &no,,
1 there ,aited his ma?esty's command$> 1 had an ans,er in abo%t an
ho%r, >that his ma?esty, attended by the royal family, and great
officers of the co%rt, ,as coming o%t to receive me$> 1 advanced a
h%ndred yards$ The em8eror and his train alighted from their
horses, the em8ress and ladies from their coaches, and 1 did not
8erceive they ,ere in any fright or concern$ 1 lay on the gro%nd
to &iss his ma?esty's and the em8ress's hands$ 1 told his ma?esty,
>that 1 ,as come according to my 8romise, and ,ith the license of
the em8eror my master, to have the hono%r of seeing so mighty a
monarch, and to offer him any service in my 8o,er, consistent ,ith
my d%ty to my o,n 8rince7> not mentioning a ,ord of my disgrace,
beca%se 1 had hitherto no reg%lar information of it, and might
s%88ose myself ,holly ignorant of any s%ch design7 neither co%ld 1
reasonably conceive that the em8eror ,o%ld discover the secret,
,hile 1 ,as o%t of his 8o,er7 ,herein, ho,ever, it soon a88eared 1
,as deceived$
1 shall not tro%ble the reader ,ith the 8artic%lar acco%nt of my
rece8tion at this co%rt, ,hich ,as s%itable to the generosity of so
great a 8rince7 nor of the diffic%lties 1 ,as in for ,ant of a
ho%se and bed, being forced to lie on the gro%nd, ,ra88ed %8 in my
:-3PT.( =111$
4The a%thor, by a l%c&y accident, finds means to leave Blef%sc%7
and, after some diffic%lties, ret%rns safe to his native co%ntry$5
Three days after my arrival, ,al&ing o%t of c%riosity to the northF
east coast of the island, 1 observed, abo%t half a leag%e off in
the sea, some,hat that loo&ed li&e a boat overt%rned$ 1 8%lled off
my shoes and stoc&ings, and, ,ailing t,o or three h%ndred yards, 1
fo%nd the ob?ect to a88roach nearer by force of the tide7 and then
8lainly sa, it to be a real boat, ,hich 1 s%88osed might by some
tem8est have been driven from a shi8$ *here%8on, 1 ret%rned
immediately to,ards the city, and desired his im8erial ma?esty to
lend me t,enty of the tallest vessels he had left, after the loss
of his fleet, and three tho%sand seamen, %nder the command of his
viceFadmiral$ This fleet sailed ro%nd, ,hile 1 ,ent bac& the
shortest ,ay to the coast, ,here 1 first discovered the boat$ 1
fo%nd the tide had driven it still nearer$ The seamen ,ere all
8rovided ,ith cordage, ,hich 1 had beforehand t,isted to a
s%fficient strength$ *hen the shi8s came %8, 1 stri88ed myself,
and ,aded till 1 came ,ithin a h%ndred yards off the boat, after
,hich 1 ,as forced to s,im till 1 got %8 to it$ The seamen thre,
me the end of the cord, ,hich 1 fastened to a hole in the foreF8art
of the boat, and the other end to a man of ,ar7 b%t 1 fo%nd all my
labo%r to little 8%r8ose7 for, being o%t of my de8th, 1 ,as not
able to ,or&$ 1n this necessity 1 ,as forced to s,im behind, and
8%sh the boat for,ard, as often as 1 co%ld, ,ith one of my hands7
and the tide favo%ring me, 1 advanced so far that 1 co%ld ?%st hold
%8 my chin and feel the gro%nd$ 1 rested t,o or three min%tes, and
then gave the boat another shove, and so on, till the sea ,as no
higher than my armF8its7 and no,, the most laborio%s 8art being
over, 1 too& o%t my other cables, ,hich ,ere sto,ed in one of the
shi8s, and fastened them first to the boat, and then to nine of the
vessels ,hich attended me7 the ,ind being favo%rable, the seamen
to,ed, and 1 shoved, %ntil ,e arrived ,ithin forty yards of the
shore7 and, ,aiting till the tide ,as o%t, 1 got dry to the boat,
and by the assistance of t,o tho%sand men, ,ith ro8es and engines,
1 made a shift to t%rn it on its bottom, and fo%nd it ,as b%t
little damaged$
1 shall not tro%ble the reader ,ith the diffic%lties 1 ,as %nder,
by the hel8 of certain 8addles, ,hich cost me ten days ma&ing, to
get my boat to the royal 8ort of Blef%sc%, ,here a mighty conco%rse
of 8eo8le a88eared %8on my arrival, f%ll of ,onder at the sight of
so 8rodigio%s a vessel$ 1 told the em8eror >that my good fort%ne
had thro,n this boat in my ,ay, to carry me to some 8lace ,hence 1
might ret%rn into my native co%ntry7 and begged his ma?esty's
orders for getting materials to fit it %8, together ,ith his
license to de8art7> ,hich, after some &ind ex8ost%lations, he ,as
8leased to grant$
1 did very m%ch ,onder, in all this time, not to have heard of any
ex8ress relating to me from o%r em8eror to the co%rt of Blef%sc%$
B%t 1 ,as after,ard given 8rivately to %nderstand, that his
im8erial ma?esty, never imagining 1 had the least notice of his
designs, believed 1 ,as only gone to Blef%sc% in 8erformance of my
8romise, according to the license he had given me, ,hich ,as ,ell
&no,n at o%r co%rt, and ,o%ld ret%rn in a fe, days, ,hen the
ceremony ,as ended$ B%t he ,as at last in 8ain at my long absence7
and after cons%lting ,ith the treas%rer and the rest of that cabal,
a 8erson of 9%ality ,as dis8atched ,ith the co8y of the articles
against me$ This envoy had instr%ctions to re8resent to the
monarch of Blef%sc%, >the great lenity of his master, ,ho ,as
content to 8%nish me no farther than ,ith the loss of mine eyes7
that 1 had fled from ?%stice7 and if 1 did not ret%rn in t,o ho%rs,
1 sho%ld be de8rived of my title of nardac, and declared a
traitor$> The envoy f%rther added, >that in order to maintain the
8eace and amity bet,een both em8ires, his master ex8ected that his
brother of Blef%sc% ,o%ld give orders to have me sent bac& to
0illi8%t, bo%nd hand and foot, to be 8%nished as a traitor$>
The em8eror of Blef%sc%, having ta&en three days to cons%lt,
ret%rned an ans,er consisting of many civilities and exc%ses$ -e
said, >that as for sending me bo%nd, his brother &ne, it ,as
im8ossible7 that, altho%gh 1 had de8rived him of his fleet, yet he
o,ed great obligations to me for many good offices 1 had done him
in ma&ing the 8eace$ That, ho,ever, both their ma?esties ,o%ld
soon be made easy7 for 1 had fo%nd a 8rodigio%s vessel on the
shore, able to carry me on the sea, ,hich he had given orders to
fit %8, ,ith my o,n assistance and direction7 and he ho8ed, in a
fe, ,ee&s, both em8ires ,o%ld be freed from so ins%88ortable an
*ith this ans,er the envoy ret%rned to 0illi8%t7 and the monarch of
Blef%sc% related to me all that had 8assed7 offering me at the same
time Bb%t %nder the strictest confidenceC his gracio%s 8rotection,
if 1 ,o%ld contin%e in his service7 ,herein, altho%gh 1 believed
him sincere, yet 1 resolved never more to 8%t any confidence in
8rinces or ministers, ,here 1 co%ld 8ossibly avoid it7 and
therefore, ,ith all d%e ac&no,ledgments for his favo%rable
intentions, 1 h%mbly begged to be exc%sed$ 1 told him, >that since
fort%ne, ,hether good or evil, had thro,n a vessel in my ,ay, 1 ,as
resolved to vent%re myself on the ocean, rather than be an occasion
of difference bet,een t,o s%ch mighty monarchs$> )either did 1
find the em8eror at all dis8leased7 and 1 discovered, by a certain
accident, that he ,as very glad of my resol%tion, and so ,ere most
of his ministers$
These considerations moved me to hasten my de8art%re some,hat
sooner than 1 intended7 to ,hich the co%rt, im8atient to have me
gone, very readily contrib%ted$ <ive h%ndred ,or&men ,ere em8loyed
to ma&e t,o sails to my boat, according to my directions, by
9%ilting thirteen folds of their strongest linen together$ 1 ,as
at the 8ains of ma&ing ro8es and cables, by t,isting ten, t,enty,
or thirty of the thic&est and strongest of theirs$ 3 great stone
that 1 ha88ened to find, after a long search, by the seaFshore,
served me for an anchor$ 1 had the tallo, of three h%ndred co,s,
for greasing my boat, and other %ses$ 1 ,as at incredible 8ains in
c%tting do,n some of the largest timberFtrees, for oars and masts,
,herein 1 ,as, ho,ever, m%ch assisted by his ma?esty's shi8F
car8enters, ,ho hel8ed me in smoothing them, after 1 had done the
ro%gh ,or&$
1n abo%t a month, ,hen all ,as 8re8ared, 1 sent to receive his
ma?esty's commands, and to ta&e my leave$ The em8eror and royal
family came o%t of the 8alace7 1 lay do,n on my face to &iss his
hand, ,hich he very gracio%sly gave meA so did the em8ress and
yo%ng 8rinces of the blood$ -is ma?esty 8resented me ,ith fifty
8%rses of t,o h%ndred s8r%gs aF8iece, together ,ith his 8ict%re at
f%ll length, ,hich 1 8%t immediately into one of my gloves, to &ee8
it from being h%rt$ The ceremonies at my de8art%re ,ere too many
to tro%ble the reader ,ith at this time$
1 stored the boat ,ith the carcases of a h%ndred oxen, and three
h%ndred shee8, ,ith bread and drin& 8ro8ortionable, and as m%ch
meat ready dressed as fo%r h%ndred coo&s co%ld 8rovide$ 1 too&
,ith me six co,s and t,o b%lls alive, ,ith as many e,es and rams,
intending to carry them into my o,n co%ntry, and 8ro8agate the
breed$ 3nd to feed them on board, 1 had a good b%ndle of hay, and
a bag of corn$ 1 ,o%ld gladly have ta&en a doEen of the natives,
b%t this ,as a thing the em8eror ,o%ld by no means 8ermit7 and,
besides a diligent search into my 8oc&ets, his ma?esty engaged my
hono%r >not to carry a,ay any of his s%b?ects, altho%gh ,ith their
o,n consent and desire$>
-aving th%s 8re8ared all things as ,ell as 1 ,as able, 1 set sail
on the t,entyFfo%rth day of Se8tember 1!1, at six in the morning7
and ,hen 1 had gone abo%t fo%rFleag%es to the north,ard, the ,ind
being at so%thFeast, at six in the evening 1 descried a small
island, abo%t half a leag%e to the northF,est$ 1 advanced for,ard,
and cast anchor on the leeFside of the island, ,hich seemed to be
%ninhabited$ 1 then too& some refreshment, and ,ent to my rest$ 1
sle8t ,ell, and as 1 con?ect%red at least six ho%rs, for 1 fo%nd
the day bro&e in t,o ho%rs after 1 a,a&ed$ 1t ,as a clear night$
1 ate my brea&fast before the s%n ,as %87 and heaving anchor, the
,ind being favo%rable, 1 steered the same co%rse that 1 had done
the day before, ,herein 1 ,as directed by my 8oc&et com8ass$ 6y
intention ,as to reach, if 8ossible, one of those islands$ ,hich 1
had reason to believe lay to the northFeast of =an Diemen's 0and$
1 discovered nothing all that day7 b%t %8on the next, abo%t three
in the afternoon, ,hen 1 had by my com8%tation made t,entyFfo%r
leag%es from Blef%sc%, 1 descried a sail steering to the so%thF
east7 my co%rse ,as d%e east$ 1 hailed her, b%t co%ld get no
ans,er7 yet 1 fo%nd 1 gained %8on her, for the ,ind slac&ened$ 1
made all the sail 1 co%ld, and in half an ho%r she s8ied me, then
h%ng o%t her ancient, and discharged a g%n$ 1t is not easy to
ex8ress the ?oy 1 ,as in, %8on the %nex8ected ho8e of once more
seeing my beloved co%ntry, and the dear 8ledges 1 left in it$ The
shi8 slac&ened her sails, and 1 came %8 ,ith her bet,een five and
six in the evening, Se8tember 2Gth7 b%t my heart lea8ed ,ithin me
to see her .nglish colo%rs$ 1 8%t my co,s and shee8 into my coatF
8oc&ets, and got on board ,ith all my little cargo of 8rovisions$
The vessel ,as an .nglish merchantman, ret%rning from +a8an by the
)orth and So%th seas7 the ca8tain, 6r$ +ohn Biddel, of De8tford, a
very civil man, and an excellent sailor$
*e ,ere no, in the latit%de of H degrees so%th7 there ,ere abo%t
fifty men in the shi87 and here 1 met an old comrade of mine, one
Peter *illiams, ,ho gave me a good character to the ca8tain$ This
gentleman treated me ,ith &indness, and desired 1 ,o%ld let him
&no, ,hat 8lace 1 came from last, and ,hither 1 ,as bo%nd7 ,hich 1
did in a fe, ,ords, b%t he tho%ght 1 ,as raving, and that the
dangers 1 %nder,ent had dist%rbed my head7 ,here%8on 1 too& my
blac& cattle and shee8 o%t of my 8oc&et, ,hich, after great
astonishment, clearly convinced him of my veracity$ 1 then sho,ed
him the gold given me by the em8eror of Blef%sc%, together ,ith his
ma?esty's 8ict%re at f%ll length, and some other rarities of that
co%ntry$ 1 gave him t,o 8%rses of t,o h%ndreds s8r%gs each, and
8romised, ,hen ,e arrived in .ngland, to ma&e him a 8resent of a
co, and a shee8 big ,ith yo%ng$
1 shall not tro%ble the reader ,ith a 8artic%lar acco%nt of this
voyage, ,hich ,as very 8ros8ero%s for the most 8art$ *e arrived in
the Do,ns on the 1Hth of 38ril, 1!2$ 1 had only one misfort%ne,
that the rats on board carried a,ay one of my shee87 1 fo%nd her
bones in a hole, 8ic&ed clean from the flesh$ The rest of my
cattle 1 got safe ashore, and set them aFgraEing in a bo,lingFgreen
at Green,ich, ,here the fineness of the grass made them feed very
heartily, tho%gh 1 had al,ays feared the contraryA neither co%ld 1
8ossibly have 8reserved them in so long a voyage, if the ca8tain
had not allo,ed me some of his best bisc%it, ,hich, r%bbed to
8o,der, and mingled ,ith ,ater, ,as their constant food$ The short
time 1 contin%ed in .ngland, 1 made a considerable 8rofit by
sho,ing my cattle to many 8ersons of 9%ality and othersA and
before 1 began my second voyage, 1 sold them for six h%ndred
8o%nds$ Since my last ret%rn 1 find the breed is considerably
increased, es8ecially the shee8, ,hich 1 ho8e ,ill 8rove m%ch to
the advantage of the ,oollen man%fact%re, by the fineness of the
1 stayed b%t t,o months ,ith my ,ife and family, for my insatiable
desire of seeing foreign co%ntries, ,o%ld s%ffer me to contin%e no
longer$ 1 left fifteen h%ndred 8o%nds ,ith my ,ife, and fixed her
in a good ho%se at (edriff$ 6y remaining stoc& 1 carried ,ith me,
8art in money and 8art in goods, in ho8es to im8rove my fort%nes$
6y eldest %ncle +ohn had left me an estate in land, near .88ing, of
abo%t thirty 8o%nds aFyear7 and 1 had a long lease of the Blac&
B%ll in <etterF0ane, ,hich yielded me as m%ch more7 so that 1 ,as
not in any danger of leaving my family %8on the 8arish$ 6y son
+ohnny, named so after his %ncle, ,as at the grammarFschool, and a
to,ardly child$ 6y da%ghter Betty B,ho is no, ,ell married, and
has childrenC ,as then at her needleF,or&$ 1 too& leave of my
,ife, and boy and girl, ,ith tears on both sides, and ,ent on board
the 3dvent%re, a merchant shi8 of three h%ndred tons, bo%nd for
S%rat, ca8tain +ohn )icholas, of 0iver8ool, commander$ B%t my
acco%nt of this voyage m%st be referred to the Second Part of my
P3(T 11$ 3 =2;3G. T2 B(2BD1)G)3G$
:-3PT.( 1$
43 great storm described7 the long boat sent to fetch ,ater7 the
a%thor goes ,ith it to discover the co%ntry$ -e is left on shore,
is seiEed by one of the natives, and carried to a farmer's ho%se$
-is rece8tion, ,ith several accidents that ha88ened there$ 3
descri8tion of the inhabitants$5
-aving been condemned, by nat%re and fort%ne, to active and
restless life, in t,o months after my ret%rn, 1 again left my
native co%ntry, and too& shi88ing in the Do,ns, on the 2th day of
+%ne, 1!2, in the 3dvent%re, :a8tain +ohn )icholas, a :ornish man,
commander, bo%nd for S%rat$ *e had a very 8ros8ero%s gale, till ,e
arrived at the :a8e of Good -o8e, ,here ,e landed for fresh ,ater7
b%t discovering a lea&, ,e %nshi88ed o%r goods and ,intered there7
for the ca8tain falling sic& of an ag%e, ,e co%ld not leave the
:a8e till the end of 6arch$ *e then set sail, and had a good
voyage till ,e 8assed the Straits of 6adagascar7 b%t having got
north,ard of that island, and to abo%t five degrees so%th latit%de,
the ,inds, ,hich in those seas are observed to blo, a constant
e9%al gale bet,een the north and ,est, from the beginning of
December to the beginning of 6ay, on the 19th of 38ril began to
blo, ,ith m%ch greater violence, and more ,esterly than %s%al,
contin%ing so for t,enty days togetherA d%ring ,hich time, ,e ,ere
driven a little to the east of the 6ol%cca 1slands, and abo%t three
degrees north,ard of the line, as o%r ca8tain fo%nd by an
observation he too& the 2nd of 6ay, at ,hich time the ,ind ceased,
and it ,as a 8erfect calm, ,hereat 1 ,as not a little re?oiced$
B%t he, being a man ,ell ex8erienced in the navigation of those
seas, bid %s all 8re8are against a storm, ,hich accordingly
ha88ened the day follo,ingA for the so%thern ,ind, called the
so%thern monsoon, began to set in$
<inding it ,as li&ely to overblo,, ,e too& in o%r s8ritFsail, and
stood by to hand the foreFsail7 b%t ma&ing fo%l ,eather, ,e loo&ed
the g%ns ,ere all fast, and handed the miEen$ The shi8 lay very
broad off, so ,e tho%ght it better s8ooning before the sea, than
trying or h%lling$ *e reefed the foreFsail and set him, and ha%led
aft the foreFsheet7 the helm ,as hard aF,eather$ The shi8 ,ore
bravely$ *e belayed the fore do,nFha%l7 b%t the sail ,as s8lit,
and ,e ha%led do,n the yard, and got the sail into the shi8, and
%nbo%nd all the things clear of it$ 1t ,as a very fierce storm7
the sea bro&e strange and dangero%s$ *e ha%led off %8on the
laniard of the ,hi8Fstaff, and hel8ed the man at the helm$ *e
,o%ld not get do,n o%r to8mast, b%t let all stand, beca%se she
sc%dded before the sea very ,ell, and ,e &ne, that the to8Fmast
being aloft, the shi8 ,as the ,holesomer, and made better ,ay
thro%gh the sea, seeing ,e had seaFroom$ *hen the storm ,as over,
,e set foreFsail and mainFsail, and bro%ght the shi8 to$ Then ,e
set the miEen, mainFto8Fsail, and the foreFto8Fsail$ 2%r co%rse
,as eastFnorthFeast, the ,ind ,as at so%thF,est$ *e got the
starboard tac&s aboard, ,e cast off o%r ,eatherFbraces and lifts7
,e set in the leeFbraces, and ha%led for,ard by the ,eatherF
bo,lings, and ha%led them tight, and belayed them, and ha%led over
the miEen tac& to ,ind,ard, and &e8t her f%ll and by as near as she
,o%ld lie$
D%ring this storm, ,hich ,as follo,ed by a strong ,ind ,estFso%thF
,est, ,e ,ere carried, by my com8%tation, abo%t five h%ndred
leag%es to the east, so that the oldest sailor on board co%ld not
tell in ,hat 8art of the ,orld ,e ,ere$ 2%r 8rovisions held o%t
,ell, o%r shi8 ,as sta%nch, and o%r cre, all in good health7 b%t ,e
lay in the %tmost distress for ,ater$ *e tho%ght it best to hold
on the same co%rse, rather than t%rn more northerly, ,hich might
have bro%ght %s to the northF,est 8art of Great Tartary, and into
the <roEen Sea$
2n the 1Gth day of +%ne, 1!H, a boy on the to8Fmast discovered
land$ 2n the 1!th, ,e came in f%ll vie, of a great island, or
continent Bfor ,e &ne, not ,hether7C on the so%th side ,hereof ,as
a small nec& of land ?%tting o%t into the sea, and a cree& too
shallo, to hold a shi8 of above one h%ndred tons$ *e cast anchor
,ithin a leag%e of this cree&, and o%r ca8tain sent a doEen of his
men ,ell armed in the longFboat, ,ith vessels for ,ater, if any
co%ld be fo%nd$ 1 desired his leave to go ,ith them, that 1 might
see the co%ntry, and ma&e ,hat discoveries 1 co%ld$ *hen ,e came
to land ,e sa, no river or s8ring, nor any sign of inhabitants$
2%r men therefore ,andered on the shore to find o%t some fresh
,ater near the sea, and 1 ,al&ed alone abo%t a mile on the other
side, ,here 1 observed the co%ntry all barren and roc&y$ 1 no,
began to be ,eary, and seeing nothing to entertain my c%riosity, 1
ret%rned gently do,n to,ards the cree&7 and the sea being f%ll in
my vie,, 1 sa, o%r men already got into the boat, and ro,ing for
life to the shi8$ 1 ,as going to holla after them, altho%gh it had
been to little 8%r8ose, ,hen 1 observed a h%ge creat%re ,al&ing
after them in the sea, as fast as he co%ldA he ,aded not m%ch
dee8er than his &nees, and too& 8rodigio%s stridesA b%t o%r men
had the start of him half a leag%e, and, the sea thereabo%ts being
f%ll of shar8F8ointed roc&s, the monster ,as not able to overta&e
the boat$ This 1 ,as after,ards told, for 1 d%rst not stay to see
the iss%e of the advent%re7 b%t ran as fast as 1 co%ld the ,ay 1
first ,ent, and then climbed %8 a stee8 hill, ,hich gave me some
8ros8ect of the co%ntry$ 1 fo%nd it f%lly c%ltivated7 b%t that
,hich first s%r8rised me ,as the length of the grass, ,hich, in
those gro%nds that seemed to be &e8t for hay, ,as abo%t t,enty feet
1 fell into a high road, for so 1 too& it to be, tho%gh it served
to the inhabitants only as a footF8ath thro%gh a field of barley$
-ere 1 ,al&ed on for some time, b%t co%ld see little on either
side, it being no, near harvest, and the corn rising at least forty
feet$ 1 ,as an ho%r ,al&ing to the end of this field, ,hich ,as
fenced in ,ith a hedge of at least one h%ndred and t,enty feet
high, and the trees so lofty that 1 co%ld ma&e no com8%tation of
their altit%de$ There ,as a stile to 8ass from this field into the
next$ 1t had fo%r ste8s, and a stone to cross over ,hen yo% came
to the %88ermost$ 1t ,as im8ossible for me to climb this stile,
beca%se every ste8 ,as sixFfeet high, and the %88er stone abo%t
t,enty$ 1 ,as endeavo%ring to find some ga8 in the hedge, ,hen 1
discovered one of the inhabitants in the next field, advancing
to,ards the stile, of the same siEe ,ith him ,hom 1 sa, in the sea
8%rs%ing o%r boat$ -e a88eared as tall as an ordinary s8ire
stee8le, and too& abo%t ten yards at every stride, as near as 1
co%ld g%ess$ 1 ,as str%c& ,ith the %tmost fear and astonishment,
and ran to hide myself in the corn, ,hence 1 sa, him at the to8 of
the stile loo&ing bac& into the next field on the right hand, and
heard him call in a voice many degrees lo%der than a s8ea&ingF
tr%m8etA b%t the noise ,as so high in the air, that at first 1
certainly tho%ght it ,as th%nder$ *here%8on seven monsters, li&e
himself, came to,ards him ,ith rea8ingFhoo&s in their hands, each
hoo& abo%t the largeness of six scythes$ These 8eo8le ,ere not so
,ell clad as the first, ,hose servants or labo%rers they seemed to
be7 for, %8on some ,ords he s8o&e, they ,ent to rea8 the corn in
the field ,here 1 lay$ 1 &e8t from them at as great a distance as
1 co%ld, b%t ,as forced to move ,ith extreme diffic%lty, for the
stal&s of the corn ,ere sometimes not above a foot distant, so that
1 co%ld hardly s9%eeEe my body bet,ixt them$ -o,ever, 1 made a
shift to go for,ard, till 1 came to a 8art of the field ,here the
corn had been laid by the rain and ,ind$ -ere it ,as im8ossible
for me to advance a ste87 for the stal&s ,ere so inter,oven, that 1
co%ld not cree8 thro%gh, and the beards of the fallen ears so
strong and 8ointed, that they 8ierced thro%gh my clothes into my
flesh$ 3t the same time 1 heard the rea8ers not a h%ndred yards
behind me$ Being 9%ite dis8irited ,ith toil, and ,holly overcome
by grief and dis8air, 1 lay do,n bet,een t,o ridges, and heartily
,ished 1 might there end my days$ 1 bemoaned my desolate ,ido, and
fatherless children$ 1 lamented my o,n folly and ,ilf%lness, in
attem8ting a second voyage, against the advice of all my friends
and relations$ 1n this terrible agitation of mind, 1 co%ld not
forbear thin&ing of 0illi8%t, ,hose inhabitants loo&ed %8on me as
the greatest 8rodigy that ever a88eared in the ,orld7 ,here 1 ,as
able to dra, an im8erial fleet in my hand, and 8erform those other
actions, ,hich ,ill be recorded for ever in the chronicles of that
em8ire, ,hile 8osterity shall hardly believe them, altho%gh
attested by millions$ 1 reflected ,hat a mortification it m%st
8rove to me, to a88ear as inconsiderable in this nation, as one
single 0illi8%tian ,o%ld be among %s$ B%t this 1 conceived ,as to
be the least of my misfort%nes7 for, as h%man creat%res are
observed to be more savage and cr%el in 8ro8ortion to their b%l&,
,hat co%ld 1 ex8ect b%t to be a morsel in the mo%th of the first
among these enormo%s barbarians that sho%ld ha88en to seiEe meD
/ndo%btedly 8hiloso8hers are in the right, ,hen they tell %s that
nothing is great or little other,ise than by com8arison$ 1t might
have 8leased fort%ne, to have let the 0illi8%tians find some
nation, ,here the 8eo8le ,ere as dimin%tive ,ith res8ect to them,
as they ,ere to me$ 3nd ,ho &no,s b%t that even this 8rodigio%s
race of mortals might be e9%ally overmatched in some distant 8art
of the ,orld, ,hereof ,e have yet no discovery$
Scared and confo%nded as 1 ,as, 1 co%ld not forbear going on ,ith
these reflections, ,hen one of the rea8ers, a88roaching ,ithin ten
yards of the ridge ,here 1 lay, made me a88rehend that ,ith the
next ste8 1 sho%ld be s9%ashed to death %nder his foot, or c%t in
t,o ,ith his rea8ingFhoo&$ 3nd therefore, ,hen he ,as again abo%t
to move, 1 screamed as lo%d as fear co%ld ma&e meA ,here%8on the
h%ge creat%re trod short, and, loo&ing ro%nd abo%t %nder him for
some time, at last es8ied me as 1 lay on the gro%nd$ -e considered
a,hile, ,ith the ca%tion of one ,ho endeavo%rs to lay hold on a
small dangero%s animal in s%ch a manner that it shall not be able
either to scratch or bite him, as 1 myself have sometimes done ,ith
a ,easel in .ngland$ 3t length he vent%red to ta&e me behind, by
the middle, bet,een his foreFfinger and th%mb, and bro%ght me
,ithin three yards of his eyes, that he might behold my sha8e more
8erfectly$ 1 g%essed his meaning, and my good fort%ne gave me so
m%ch 8resence of mind, that 1 resolved not to str%ggle in the least
as he held me in the air above sixty feet from the gro%nd, altho%gh
he grievo%sly 8inched my sides, for fear 1 sho%ld sli8 thro%gh his
fingers$ 3ll 1 vent%red ,as to raise mine eyes to,ards the s%n,
and 8lace my hands together in a s%88licating 8ost%re, and to s8ea&
some ,ords in a h%mble melancholy tone, s%itable to the condition 1
then ,as inA for 1 a88rehended every moment that he ,o%ld dash me
against the gro%nd, as ,e %s%ally do any little hatef%l animal,
,hich ,e have a mind to destroy$ B%t my good star ,o%ld have it,
that he a88eared 8leased ,ith my voice and gest%res, and began to
loo& %8on me as a c%riosity, m%ch ,ondering to hear me 8rono%nce
artic%late ,ords, altho%gh he co%ld not %nderstand them$ 1n the
mean time 1 ,as not able to forbear groaning and shedding tears,
and t%rning my head to,ards my sides7 letting him &no,, as ,ell as
1 co%ld, ho, cr%elly 1 ,as h%rt by the 8ress%re of his th%mb and
finger$ -e seemed to a88rehend my meaning7 for, lifting %8 the
la88et of his coat, he 8%t me gently into it, and immediately ran
along ,ith me to his master, ,ho ,as a s%bstantial farmer, and the
same 8erson 1 had first seen in the field$
The farmer having Bas 1 s%88ose by their tal&C received s%ch an
acco%nt of me as his servant co%ld give him, too& a 8iece of a
small stra,, abo%t the siEe of a ,al&ingFstaff, and there,ith
lifted %8 the la88ets of my coat7 ,hich it seems he tho%ght to be
some &ind of covering that nat%re had given me$ -e ble, my hairs
aside to ta&e a better vie, of my face$ -e called his hinds abo%t
him, and as&ed them, as 1 after,ards learned, ,hether they had ever
seen in the fields any little creat%re that resembled me$ -e then
8laced me softly on the gro%nd %8on all fo%rs, b%t 1 got
immediately %8, and ,al&ed slo,ly bac&,ard and for,ard, to let
those 8eo8le see 1 had no intent to r%n a,ay$ They all sat do,n in
a circle abo%t me, the better to observe my motions$ 1 8%lled off
my hat, and made a lo, bo, to,ards the farmer$ 1 fell on my &nees,
and lifted %8 my hands and eyes, and s8o&e several ,ords as lo%d as
1 co%ldA 1 too& a 8%rse of gold o%t of my 8oc&et, and h%mbly
8resented it to him$ -e received it on the 8alm of his hand, then
a88lied it close to his eye to see ,hat it ,as, and after,ards
t%rned it several times ,ith the 8oint of a 8in B,hich he too& o%t
of his sleeve,C b%t co%ld ma&e nothing of it$ *here%8on 1 made a
sign that he sho%ld 8lace his hand on the gro%nd$ 1 then too& the
8%rse, and, o8ening it, 8o%red all the gold into his 8alm$ There
,ere six S8anish 8ieces of fo%r 8istoles each, beside t,enty or
thirty smaller coins$ 1 sa, him ,et the ti8 of his little finger
%8on his tong%e, and ta&e %8 one of my largest 8ieces, and then
another7 b%t he seemed to be ,holly ignorant ,hat they ,ere$ -e
made me a sign to 8%t them again into my 8%rse, and the 8%rse again
into my 8oc&et, ,hich, after offering it to him several times, 1
tho%ght it best to do$
The farmer, by this time, ,as convinced 1 m%st be a rational
creat%re$ -e s8o&e often to me7 b%t the so%nd of his voice 8ierced
my ears li&e that of a ,aterFmill, yet his ,ords ,ere artic%late
eno%gh$ 1 ans,ered as lo%d as 1 co%ld in several lang%ages, and he
often laid his ear ,ithin t,o yards of meA b%t all in vain, for ,e
,ere ,holly %nintelligible to each other$ -e then sent his
servants to their ,or&, and ta&ing his hand&erchief o%t of his
8oc&et, he do%bled and s8read it on his left hand, ,hich he 8laced
flat on the gro%nd ,ith the 8alm %8,ard, ma&ing me a sign to ste8
into it, as 1 co%ld easily do, for it ,as not above a foot in
thic&ness$ 1 tho%ght it my 8art to obey, and, for fear of falling,
laid myself at f%ll length %8on the hand&erchief, ,ith the
remainder of ,hich he la88ed me %8 to the head for f%rther
sec%rity, and in this manner carried me home to his ho%se$ There
he called his ,ife, and sho,ed me to her7 b%t she screamed and ran
bac&, as ,omen in .ngland do at the sight of a toad or a s8ider$
-o,ever, ,hen she had a ,hile seen my behavio%r, and ho, ,ell 1
observed the signs her h%sband made, she ,as soon reconciled, and
by degrees gre, extremely tender of me$
1t ,as abo%t t,elve at noon, and a servant bro%ght in dinner$ 1t
,as only one s%bstantial dish of meat Bfit for the 8lain condition
of a h%sbandman,C in a dish of abo%t fo%rFandFt,enty feet diameter$
The com8any ,ere, the farmer and his ,ife, three children, and an
old grandmother$ *hen they ,ere sat do,n, the farmer 8laced me at
some distance from him on the table, ,hich ,as thirty feet high
from the floor$ 1 ,as in a terrible fright, and &e8t as far as 1
co%ld from the edge, for fear of falling$ The ,ife minced a bit of
meat, then cr%mbled some bread on a trencher, and 8laced it before
me$ 1 made her a lo, bo,, too& o%t my &nife and for&, and fell to
eat, ,hich gave them exceeding delight$ The mistress sent her maid
for a small dram c%8, ,hich held abo%t t,o gallons, and filled it
,ith drin&7 1 too& %8 the vessel ,ith m%ch diffic%lty in both
hands, and in a most res8ectf%l manner dran& to her ladyshi8's
health, ex8ressing the ,ords as lo%d as 1 co%ld in .nglish, ,hich
made the com8any la%gh so heartily, that 1 ,as almost deafened ,ith
the noise$ This li9%or tasted li&e a small cider, and ,as not
%n8leasant$ Then the master made me a sign to come to his trencher
side7 b%t as 1 ,al&ed on the table, being in great s%r8rise all the
time, as the ind%lgent reader ,ill easily conceive and exc%se, 1
ha88ened to st%mble against a cr%st, and fell flat on my face, b%t
received no h%rt$ 1 got %8 immediately, and observing the good
8eo8le to be in m%ch concern, 1 too& my hat B,hich 1 held %nder my
arm o%t of good manners,C and ,aving it over my head, made three
h%EEas, to sho, 1 had got no mischief by my fall$ B%t advancing
for,ard to,ards my master Bas 1 shall henceforth call him,C his
yo%ngest son, ,ho sat next to him, an arch boy of abo%t ten years
old, too& me %8 by the legs, and held me so high in the air, that 1
trembled every limbA b%t his father snatched me from him, and at
the same time gave him s%ch a box on the left ear, as ,o%ld have
felled an .%ro8ean troo8 of horse to the earth, ordering him to be
ta&en from the table$ B%t being afraid the boy might o,e me a
s8ite, and ,ell remembering ho, mischievo%s all children among %s
nat%rally are to s8arro,s, rabbits, yo%ng &ittens, and 8%88y dogs,
1 fell on my &nees, and 8ointing to the boy, made my master to
%nderstand, as ,ell as 1 co%ld, that 1 desired his son might be
8ardoned$ The father com8lied, and the lad too& his seat again,
,here%8on 1 ,ent to him, and &issed his hand, ,hich my master too&,
and made him stro&e me gently ,ith it$
1n the midst of dinner, my mistress's favo%rite cat lea8ed into her
la8$ 1 heard a noise behind me li&e that of a doEen stoc&ingF
,eavers at ,or&7 and t%rning my head, 1 fo%nd it 8roceeded from the
8%rring of that animal, ,ho seemed to be three times larger than an
ox, as 1 com8%ted by the vie, of her head, and one of her 8a,s,
,hile her mistress ,as feeding and stro&ing her$ The fierceness of
this creat%re's co%ntenance altogether discom8osed me7 tho%gh 1
stood at the farther end of the table, above fifty feet off7 and
altho%gh my mistress held her fast, for fear she might give a
s8ring, and seiEe me in her talons$ B%t it ha88ened there ,as no
danger, for the cat too& not the least notice of me ,hen my master
8laced me ,ithin three yards of her$ 3nd as 1 have been al,ays
told, and fo%nd tr%e by ex8erience in my travels, that flying or
discovering fear before a fierce animal, is a certain ,ay to ma&e
it 8%rs%e or attac& yo%, so 1 resolved, in this dangero%s ?%nct%re,
to sho, no manner of concern$ 1 ,al&ed ,ith intre8idity five or
six times before the very head of the cat, and came ,ithin half a
yard of her7 ,here%8on she dre, herself bac&, as if she ,ere more
afraid of meA 1 had less a88rehension concerning the dogs, ,hereof
three or fo%r came into the room, as it is %s%al in farmers'
ho%ses7 one of ,hich ,as a mastiff, e9%al in b%l& to fo%r
ele8hants, and another a greyho%nd, some,hat taller than the
mastiff, b%t not so large$
*hen dinner ,as almost done, the n%rse came in ,ith a child of a
year old in her arms, ,ho immediately s8ied me, and began a s9%all
that yo% might have heard from 0ondonFBridge to :helsea, after the
%s%al oratory of infants, to get me for a 8laything$ The mother,
o%t of 8%re ind%lgence, too& me %8, and 8%t me to,ards the child,
,ho 8resently seiEed me by the middle, and got my head into his
mo%th, ,here 1 roared so lo%d that the %rchin ,as frighted, and let
me dro8, and 1 sho%ld infallibly have bro&e my nec&, if the mother
had not held her a8ron %nder me$ The n%rse, to 9%iet her babe,
made %se of a rattle ,hich ,as a &ind of hollo, vessel filled ,ith
great stones, and fastened by a cable to the child's ,aistA b%t
all in vain7 so that she ,as forced to a88ly the last remedy by
giving it s%c&$ 1 m%st confess no ob?ect ever disg%sted me so m%ch
as the sight of her monstro%s breast, ,hich 1 cannot tell ,hat to
com8are ,ith, so as to give the c%rio%s reader an idea of its b%l&,
sha8e, and colo%r$ 1t stood 8rominent six feet, and co%ld not be
less than sixteen in circ%mference$ The ni88le ,as abo%t half the
bigness of my head, and the h%e both of that and the d%g, so varied
,ith s8ots, 8im8les, and frec&les, that nothing co%ld a88ear more
na%seo%sA for 1 had a near sight of her, she sitting do,n, the
more conveniently to give s%c&, and 1 standing on the table$ This
made me reflect %8on the fair s&ins of o%r .nglish ladies, ,ho
a88ear so bea%tif%l to %s, only beca%se they are of o%r o,n siEe,
and their defects not to be seen b%t thro%gh a magnifying glass7
,here ,e find by ex8eriment that the smoothest and ,hitest s&ins
loo& ro%gh, and coarse, and illFcolo%red$
1 remember ,hen 1 ,as at 0illi8%t, the com8lexion of those
dimin%tive 8eo8le a88eared to me the fairest in the ,orld7 and
tal&ing %8on this s%b?ect ,ith a 8erson of learning there, ,ho ,as
an intimate friend of mine, he said that my face a88eared m%ch
fairer and smoother ,hen he loo&ed on me from the gro%nd, than it
did %8on a nearer vie,, ,hen 1 too& him %8 in my hand, and bro%ght
him close, ,hich he confessed ,as at first a very shoc&ing sight$
-e said, >he co%ld discover great holes in my s&in7 that the st%m8s
of my beard ,ere ten times stronger than the bristles of a boar,
and my com8lexion made %8 of several colo%rs altogether
disagreeableA> altho%gh 1 m%st beg leave to say for myself, that 1
am as fair as most of my sex and co%ntry, and very little s%nb%rnt
by all my travels$ 2n the other side, disco%rsing of the ladies in
that em8eror's co%rt, he %sed to tell me, >one had frec&les7
another too ,ide a mo%th7 a third too large a nose7> nothing of
,hich 1 ,as able to disting%ish$ 1 confess this reflection ,as
obvio%s eno%gh7 ,hich, ho,ever, 1 co%ld not forbear, lest the
reader might thin& those vast creat%res ,ere act%ally deformedA
for 1 m%st do them the ?%stice to say, they are a comely race of
8eo8le, and 8artic%larly the feat%res of my master's co%ntenance,
altho%gh he ,as b%t a farmer, ,hen 1 beheld him from the height of
sixty feet, a88eared very ,ell 8ro8ortioned$
*hen dinner ,as done, my master ,ent o%t to his labo%rers, and, as
1 co%ld discover by his voice and gest%re, gave his ,ife strict
charge to ta&e care of me$ 1 ,as very m%ch tired, and dis8osed to
slee8, ,hich my mistress 8erceiving, she 8%t me on her o,n bed, and
covered me ,ith a clean ,hite hand&erchief, b%t larger and coarser
than the mainsail of a manFofF,ar$
1 sle8t abo%t t,o ho%rs, and dreamt 1 ,as at home ,ith my ,ife and
children, ,hich aggravated my sorro,s ,hen 1 a,a&ed, and fo%nd
myself alone in a vast room, bet,een t,o and three h%ndred feet
,ide, and above t,o h%ndred high, lying in a bed t,enty yards ,ide$
6y mistress ,as gone abo%t her ho%sehold affairs, and had loc&ed me
in$ The bed ,as eight yards from the floor$ Some nat%ral
necessities re9%ired me to get do,n7 1 d%rst not 8res%me to call7
and if 1 had, it ,o%ld have been in vain, ,ith s%ch a voice as
mine, at so great a distance from the room ,here 1 lay to the
&itchen ,here the family &e8t$ *hile 1 ,as %nder these
circ%mstances, t,o rats cre8t %8 the c%rtains, and ran smelling
bac&,ards and for,ards on the bed$ 2ne of them came %8 almost to
my face, ,here%8on 1 rose in a fright, and dre, o%t my hanger to
defend myself$ These horrible animals had the boldness to attac&
me on both sides, and one of them held his foreFfeet at my collar7
b%t 1 had the good fort%ne to ri8 %8 his belly before he co%ld do
me any mischief$ -e fell do,n at my feet7 and the other, seeing
the fate of his comrade, made his esca8e, b%t not ,itho%t one good
,o%nd on the bac&, ,hich 1 gave him as he fled, and made the blood
r%n tric&ling from him$ 3fter this ex8loit, 1 ,al&ed gently to and
fro on the bed, to recover my breath and loss of s8irits$ These
creat%res ,ere of the siEe of a large mastiff, b%t infinitely more
nimble and fierce7 so that if 1 had ta&en off my belt before 1 ,ent
to slee8, 1 m%st have infallibly been torn to 8ieces and devo%red$
1 meas%red the tail of the dead rat, and fo%nd it to be t,o yards
long, ,anting an inch7 b%t it ,ent against my stomach to drag the
carcass off the bed, ,here it lay still bleeding7 1 observed it had
yet some life, b%t ,ith a strong slash across the nec&, 1
thoro%ghly des8atched it$
Soon after my mistress came into the room, ,ho seeing me all
bloody, ran and too& me %8 in her hand$ 1 8ointed to the dead rat,
smiling, and ma&ing other signs to sho, 1 ,as not h%rt7 ,hereat she
,as extremely re?oiced, calling the maid to ta&e %8 the dead rat
,ith a 8air of tongs, and thro, it o%t of the ,indo,$ Then she set
me on a table, ,here 1 sho,ed her my hanger all bloody, and ,i8ing
it on the la88et of my coat, ret%rned it to the scabbard$ 1 ,as
8ressed to do more than one thing ,hich another co%ld not do for
me, and therefore endeavo%red to ma&e my mistress %nderstand, that
1 desired to be set do,n on the floor7 ,hich after she had done, my
bashf%lness ,o%ld not s%ffer me to ex8ress myself farther, than by
8ointing to the door, and bo,ing several times$ The good ,oman,
,ith m%ch diffic%lty, at last 8erceived ,hat 1 ,o%ld be at, and
ta&ing me %8 again in her hand, ,al&ed into the garden, ,here she
set me do,n$ 1 ,ent on one side abo%t t,o h%ndred yards, and
bec&oning to her not to loo& or to follo, me, 1 hid myself bet,een
t,o leaves of sorrel, and there discharged the necessities of
1 ho8e the gentle reader ,ill exc%se me for d,elling on these and
the li&e 8artic%lars, ,hich, ho,ever insignificant they may a88ear
to groveling v%lgar minds, yet ,ill certainly hel8 a 8hiloso8her to
enlarge his tho%ghts and imagination, and a88ly them to the benefit
of 8%blic as ,ell as 8rivate life, ,hich ,as my sole design in
8resenting this and other acco%nts of my travels to the ,orld7
,herein 1 have been chiefly st%dio%s of tr%th, ,itho%t affecting
any ornaments of learning or of style$ B%t the ,hole scene of this
voyage made so strong an im8ression on my mind, and is so dee8ly
fixed in my memory, that, in committing it to 8a8er 1 did not omit
one material circ%mstanceA ho,ever, %8on a strict revie,, 1
blotted o%t several 8assages$ 2f less moment ,hich ,ere in my
first co8y, for fear of being cens%red as tedio%s and trifling,
,hereof travellers are often, 8erha8s not ,itho%t ?%stice, acc%sed$
:-3PT.( 11$
43 descri8tion of the farmer's da%ghter$ The a%thor carried to a
mar&etFto,n, and then to the metro8olis$ The 8artic%lars of his
6y mistress had a da%ghter of nine years old, a child of to,ardly
8arts for her age, very dextero%s at her needle, and s&ilf%l in
dressing her baby$ -er mother and she contrived to fit %8 the
baby's cradle for me against nightA the cradle ,as 8%t into a
small dra,er of a cabinet, and the dra,er 8laced %8on a hanging
shelf for fear of the rats$ This ,as my bed all the time 1 staid
,ith those 8eo8le, tho%gh made more convenient by degrees, as 1
began to learn their lang%age and ma&e my ,ants &no,n$ This yo%ng
girl ,as so handy, that after 1 had once or t,ice 8%lled off my
clothes before her, she ,as able to dress and %ndress me, tho%gh 1
never gave her that tro%ble ,hen she ,o%ld let me do either myself$
She made me seven shirts, and some other linen, of as fine cloth as
co%ld be got, ,hich indeed ,as coarser than sac&cloth7 and these
she constantly ,ashed for me ,ith her o,n hands$ She ,as li&e,ise
my schoolFmistress, to teach me the lang%ageA ,hen 1 8ointed to
any thing, she told me the name of it in her o,n tong%e, so that in
a fe, days 1 ,as able to call for ,hatever 1 had a mind to$ She
,as very goodFnat%red, and not above forty feet high, being little
for her age$ She gave me the name of Grildrig, ,hich the family
too& %8, and after,ards the ,hole &ingdom$ The ,ord im8orts ,hat
the 0atins call nan%nc%l%s, the 1talians hom%nceletino, and the
.nglish manni&in$ To her 1 chiefly o,e my 8reservation in that
co%ntryA ,e never 8arted ,hile 1 ,as there7 1 called her my
Gl%mdalclitch, or little n%rse7 and sho%ld be g%ilty of great
ingratit%de, if 1 omitted this hono%rable mention of her care and
affection to,ards me, ,hich 1 heartily ,ish it lay in my 8o,er to
re9%ite as she deserves, instead of being the innocent, b%t %nha88y
instr%ment of her disgrace, as 1 have too m%ch reason to fear$
1t no, began to be &no,n and tal&ed of in the neighbo%rhood, that
my master had fo%nd a strange animal in the field, abo%t the
bigness of a s8lacn%c&, b%t exactly sha8ed in every 8art li&e a
h%man creat%re7 ,hich it li&e,ise imitated in all its actions7
seemed to s8ea& in a little lang%age of its o,n, had already
learned several ,ords of theirs, ,ent erect %8on t,o legs, ,as tame
and gentle, ,o%ld come ,hen it ,as called, do ,hatever it ,as bid,
had the finest limbs in the ,orld, and a com8lexion fairer than a
nobleman's da%ghter of three years old$ 3nother farmer, ,ho lived
hard by, and ,as a 8artic%lar friend of my master, came on a visit
on 8%r8ose to in9%ire into the tr%th of this story$ 1 ,as
immediately 8rod%ced, and 8laced %8on a table, ,here 1 ,al&ed as 1
,as commanded, dre, my hanger, 8%t it %8 again, made my reverence
to my master's g%est, as&ed him in his o,n lang%age ho, he did, and
told him -. *3S *.0:26., ?%st as my little n%rse had instr%cted me$
This man, ,ho ,as old and dimFsighted, 8%t on his s8ectacles to
behold me better7 at ,hich 1 co%ld not forbear la%ghing very
heartily, for his eyes a88eared li&e the f%ll moon shining into a
chamber at t,o ,indo,s$ 2%r 8eo8le, ,ho discovered the ca%se of my
mirth, bore me com8any in la%ghing, at ,hich the old fello, ,as
fool eno%gh to be angry and o%t of co%ntenance$ -e had the
character of a great miser7 and, to my misfort%ne, he ,ell deserved
it, by the c%rsed advice he gave my master, to sho, me as a sight
%8on a mar&etFday in the next to,n, ,hich ,as half an ho%r's
riding, abo%t t,oFandFt,enty miles from o%r ho%se$ 1 g%essed there
,as some mischief ,hen 1 observed my master and his friend
,his8ering together, sometimes 8ointing at me7 and my fears made me
fancy that 1 overheard and %nderstood some of their ,ords$ B%t the
next morning Gl%mdalclitch, my little n%rse, told me the ,hole
matter, ,hich she had c%nningly 8ic&ed o%t from her mother$ The
8oor girl laid me on her bosom, and fell a ,ee8ing ,ith shame and
grief$ She a88rehended some mischief ,o%ld ha88en to me from r%de
v%lgar fol&s, ,ho might s9%eeEe me to death, or brea& one of my
limbs by ta&ing me in their hands$ She had also observed ho,
modest 1 ,as in my nat%re, ho, nicely 1 regarded my hono%r, and
,hat an indignity 1 sho%ld conceive it, to be ex8osed for money as
a 8%blic s8ectacle, to the meanest of the 8eo8le$ She said, her
8a8a and mamma had 8romised that Grildrig sho%ld be hers7 b%t no,
she fo%nd they meant to serve her as they did last year, ,hen they
8retended to give her a lamb, and yet, as soon as it ,as fat, sold
it to a b%tcher$ <or my o,n 8art, 1 may tr%ly affirm, that 1 ,as
less concerned than my n%rse$ 1 had a strong ho8e, ,hich never
left me, that 1 sho%ld one day recover my libertyA and as to the
ignominy of being carried abo%t for a monster, 1 considered myself
to be a 8erfect stranger in the co%ntry, and that s%ch a misfort%ne
co%ld never be charged %8on me as a re8roach, if ever 1 sho%ld
ret%rn to .ngland, since the &ing of Great Britain himself, in my
condition, m%st have %ndergone the same distress$
6y master, 8%rs%ant to the advice of his friend, carried me in a
box the next mar&etFday to the neighbo%ring to,n, and too& along
,ith him his little da%ghter, my n%rse, %8on a 8illion behind him$
The box ,as close on every side, ,ith a little door for me to go in
and o%t, and a fe, gimlet holes to let in air$ The girl had been
so caref%l as to 8%t the 9%ilt of her baby's bed into it, for me to
lie do,n on$ -o,ever, 1 ,as terribly sha&en and discom8osed in
this ?o%rney, tho%gh it ,as b%t of half an ho%rA for the horse
,ent abo%t forty feet at every ste8 and trotted so high, that the
agitation ,as e9%al to the rising and falling of a shi8 in a great
storm, b%t m%ch more fre9%ent$ 2%r ?o%rney ,as some,hat farther
than from 0ondon to St$ 3lban's$ 6y master alighted at an inn
,hich he %sed to fre9%ent7 and after cons%lting a,hile ,ith the
innF&ee8er, and ma&ing some necessary 8re8arations, he hired the
gr%ltr%d, or crier, to give notice thro%gh the to,n of a strange
creat%re to be seen at the sign of the Green .agle, not so big as a
s8lacn%c& Ban animal in that co%ntry very finely sha8ed, abo%t six
feet long,C and in every 8art of the body resembling a h%man
creat%re, co%ld s8ea& several ,ords, and 8erform a h%ndred
diverting tric&s$
1 ,as 8laced %8on a table in the largest room of the inn, ,hich
might be near three h%ndred feet s9%are$ 6y little n%rse stood on
a lo, stool close to the table, to ta&e care of me, and direct ,hat
1 sho%ld do$ 6y master, to avoid a cro,d, ,o%ld s%ffer only thirty
8eo8le at a time to see me$ 1 ,al&ed abo%t on the table as the
girl commanded7 she as&ed me 9%estions, as far as she &ne, my
%nderstanding of the lang%age reached, and 1 ans,ered them as lo%d
as 1 co%ld$ 1 t%rned abo%t several times to the com8any, 8aid my
h%mble res8ects, said T-.; *.(. *.0:26., and %sed some other
s8eeches 1 had been ta%ght$ 1 too& %8 a thimble filled ,ith
li9%or, ,hich Gl%mdalclitch had given me for a c%8, and dran& their
health, 1 dre, o%t my hanger, and flo%rished ,ith it after the
manner of fencers in .ngland$ 6y n%rse gave me a 8art of a stra,,
,hich 1 exercised as a 8i&e, having learnt the art in my yo%th$ 1
,as that day sho,n to t,elve sets of com8any, and as often forced
to act over again the same fo88eries, till 1 ,as half dead ,ith
,eariness and vexation7 for those ,ho had seen me made s%ch
,onderf%l re8orts, that the 8eo8le ,ere ready to brea& do,n the
doors to come in$ 6y master, for his o,n interest, ,o%ld not
s%ffer any one to to%ch me exce8t my n%rse7 and to 8revent danger,
benches ,ere set ro%nd the table at s%ch a distance as to 8%t me
o%t of every body's reach$ -o,ever, an %nl%c&y schoolFboy aimed a
haEel n%t directly at my head, ,hich very narro,ly missed me7
other,ise it came ,ith so m%ch violence, that it ,o%ld have
infallibly &noc&ed o%t my brains, for it ,as almost as large as a
small 8%m8&in, b%t 1 had the satisfaction to see the yo%ng rog%e
,ell beaten, and t%rned o%t of the room$
6y master gave 8%blic notice that he ,o%ld sho, me again the next
mar&etFday7 and in the meantime he 8re8ared a convenient vehicle
for me, ,hich he had reason eno%gh to do7 for 1 ,as so tired ,ith
my first ?o%rney, and ,ith entertaining com8any for eight ho%rs
together, that 1 co%ld hardly stand %8on my legs, or s8ea& a ,ord$
1t ,as at least three days before 1 recovered my strength7 and that
1 might have no rest at home, all the neighbo%ring gentlemen from a
h%ndred miles ro%nd, hearing of my fame, came to see me at my
master's o,n ho%se$ There co%ld not be fe,er than thirty 8ersons
,ith their ,ives and children Bfor the co%ntry is very 8o8%lo%s7C
and my master demanded the rate of a f%ll room ,henever he sho,ed
me at home, altho%gh it ,ere only to a single family7 so that for
some time 1 had b%t little ease every day of the ,ee& Bexce8t
*ednesday, ,hich is their Sabbath,C altho%gh 1 ,ere not carried to
the to,n$
6y master, finding ho, 8rofitable 1 ,as li&ely to be, resolved to
carry me to the most considerable cities of the &ingdom$ -aving
therefore 8rovided himself ,ith all things necessary for a long
?o%rney, and settled his affairs at home, he too& leave of his
,ife, and %8on the 1!th of 3%g%st, 1!H, abo%t t,o months after my
arrival, ,e set o%t for the metro8olis, sit%ate near the middle of
that em8ire, and abo%t three tho%sand miles distance from o%r
ho%se$ 6y master made his da%ghter Gl%mdalclitch ride behind him$
She carried me on her la8, in a box tied abo%t her ,aist$ The girl
had lined it on all sides ,ith the softest cloth she co%ld get,
,ell 9%ilted %nderneath, f%rnished it ,ith her baby's bed, 8rovided
me ,ith linen and other necessaries, and made everything as
convenient as she co%ld$ *e had no other com8any b%t a boy of the
ho%se, ,ho rode after %s ,ith the l%ggage$
6y master's design ,as to sho, me in all the to,ns by the ,ay, and
to ste8 o%t of the road for fifty or a h%ndred miles, to any
village, or 8erson of 9%ality's ho%se, ,here he might ex8ect
c%stom$ *e made easy ?o%rneys, of not above seven or eight score
miles aFday7 for Gl%mdalclitch, on 8%r8ose to s8are me, com8lained
she ,as tired ,ith the trotting of the horse$ She often too& me
o%t of my box, at my o,n desire, to give me air, and sho, me the
co%ntry, b%t al,ays held me fast by a leadingFstring$ *e 8assed
over five or six rivers, many degrees broader and dee8er than the
)ile or the GangesA and there ,as hardly a riv%let so small as the
Thames at 0ondonFbridge$ *e ,ere ten ,ee&s in o%r ?o%rney, and 1
,as sho,n in eighteen large to,ns, besides many villages, and
8rivate families$
2n the 2Gth day of 2ctober ,e arrived at the metro8olis, called in
their lang%age 0orbr%lgr%d, or Pride of the /niverse$ 6y master
too& a lodging in the 8rinci8al street of the city, not far from
the royal 8alace, and 8%t o%t bills in the %s%al form, containing
an exact descri8tion of my 8erson and 8arts$ -e hired a large room
bet,een three and fo%r h%ndred feet ,ide$ -e 8rovided a table
sixty feet in diameter, %8on ,hich 1 ,as to act my 8art, and
8allisadoed it ro%nd three feet from the edge, and as many high, to
8revent my falling over$ 1 ,as sho,n ten times aFday, to the
,onder and satisfaction of all 8eo8le$ 1 co%ld no, s8ea& the
lang%age tolerably ,ell, and 8erfectly %nderstood every ,ord, that
,as s8o&en to me$ Besides, 1 had learnt their al8habet, and co%ld
ma&e a shift to ex8lain a sentence here and there7 for
Gl%mdalclitch had been my instr%ctor ,hile ,e ,ere at home, and at
leis%re ho%rs d%ring o%r ?o%rney$ She carried a little boo& in her
8oc&et, not m%ch larger than a Sanson's 3tlas7 it ,as a common
treatise for the %se of yo%ng girls, giving a short acco%nt of
their religionA o%t of this she ta%ght me my letters, and
inter8reted the ,ords$
:-3PT.( 111$
4The a%thor sent for to co%rt$ The 9%een b%ys him of his master
the farmer, and 8resents him to the &ing$ -e dis8%tes ,ith his
ma?esty's great scholars$ 3n a8artment at co%rt 8rovided for the
a%thor$ -e is in high favo%r ,ith the 9%een$ -e stands %8 for the
hono%r of his o,n co%ntry$ -is 9%arrels ,ith the 9%een's d,arf$5
The fre9%ent labo%rs 1 %nder,ent every day, made, in a fe, ,ee&s, a
very considerable change in my healthA the more my master got by
me, the more insatiable he gre,$ 1 had 9%ite lost my stomach, and
,as almost red%ced to a s&eleton$ The farmer observed it, and
concl%ding 1 m%st soon die, resolved to ma&e as good a hand of me
as he co%ld$ *hile he ,as th%s reasoning and resolving ,ith
himself, a sardral, or gentlemanF%sher, came from co%rt, commanding
my master to carry me immediately thither for the diversion of the
9%een and her ladies$ Some of the latter had already been to see
me, and re8orted strange things of my bea%ty, behavio%r, and good
sense$ -er ma?esty, and those ,ho attended her, ,ere beyond
meas%re delighted ,ith my demeano%r$ 1 fell on my &nees, and
begged the hono%r of &issing her im8erial foot7 b%t this gracio%s
8rincess held o%t her little finger to,ards me, after 1 ,as set on
the table, ,hich 1 embraced in both my arms, and 8%t the ti8 of it
,ith the %tmost res8ect to my li8$ She made me some general
9%estions abo%t my co%ntry and my travels, ,hich 1 ans,ered as
distinctly, and in as fe, ,ords as 1 co%ld$ She as&ed, >,hether 1
co%ld be content to live at co%rtD> 1 bo,ed do,n to the board of
the table, and h%mbly ans,ered >that 1 ,as my master's slaveA b%t,
if 1 ,ere at my o,n dis8osal, 1 sho%ld be 8ro%d to devote my life
to her ma?esty's service$> She then as&ed my master, >,hether he
,as ,illing to sell me at a good 8riceD> -e, ,ho a88rehended 1
co%ld not live a month, ,as ready eno%gh to 8art ,ith me, and
demanded a tho%sand 8ieces of gold, ,hich ,ere ordered him on the
s8ot, each 8iece being abo%t the bigness of eight h%ndred moidores7
b%t allo,ing for the 8ro8ortion of all things bet,een that co%ntry
and .%ro8e, and the high 8rice of gold among them, ,as hardly so
great a s%m as a tho%sand g%ineas ,o%ld be in .ngland$ 1 then said
to the 9%een, >since 1 ,as no, her ma?esty's most h%mble creat%re
and vassal, 1 m%st beg the favo%r, that Gl%mdalclitch, ,ho had
al,ays tended me ,ith so m%ch care and &indness, and %nderstood to
do it so ,ell, might be admitted into her service, and contin%e to
be my n%rse and instr%ctor$>
-er ma?esty agreed to my 8etition, and easily got the farmer's
consent, ,ho ,as glad eno%gh to have his da%ghter 8referred at
co%rt, and the 8oor girl herself ,as not able to hide her ?oy$ 6y
late master ,ithdre,, bidding me fare,ell, and saying he had left
me in a good service7 to ,hich 1 re8lied not a ,ord, only ma&ing
him a slight bo,$
The 9%een observed my coldness7 and, ,hen the farmer ,as gone o%t
of the a8artment, as&ed me the reason$ 1 made bold to tell her
ma?esty, >that 1 o,ed no other obligation to my late master, than
his not dashing o%t the brains of a 8oor harmless creat%re, fo%nd
by chance in his fieldsA ,hich obligation ,as am8ly recom8ensed,
by the gain he had made in sho,ing me thro%gh half the &ingdom, and
the 8rice he had no, sold me for$ That the life 1 had since led
,as laborio%s eno%gh to &ill an animal of ten times my strength$
That my health ,as m%ch im8aired, by the contin%al dr%dgery of
entertaining the rabble every ho%r of the day7 and that, if my
master had not tho%ght my life in danger, her ma?esty ,o%ld not
have got so chea8 a bargain$ B%t as 1 ,as o%t of all fear of being
illFtreated %nder the 8rotection of so great and good an em8ress,
the ornament of nat%re, the darling of the ,orld, the delight of
her s%b?ects, the 8hoenix of the creation, so 1 ho8ed my late
master's a88rehensions ,o%ld a88ear to be gro%ndless7 for 1 already
fo%nd my s8irits revive, by the infl%ence of her most a%g%st
This ,as the s%m of my s8eech, delivered ,ith great im8ro8rieties
and hesitation$ The latter 8art ,as altogether framed in the style
8ec%liar to that 8eo8le, ,hereof 1 learned some 8hrases from
Gl%mdalclitch, ,hile she ,as carrying me to co%rt$
The 9%een, giving great allo,ance for my defectiveness in s8ea&ing,
,as, ho,ever, s%r8rised at so m%ch ,it and good sense in so
dimin%tive an animal$ She too& me in her o,n hand, and carried me
to the &ing, ,ho ,as then retired to his cabinet$ -is ma?esty, a
8rince of m%ch gravity and a%stere co%ntenance, not ,ell observing
my sha8e at first vie,, as&ed the 9%een after a cold manner >ho,
long it ,as since she gre, fond of a s8lacn%c&D> for s%ch it seems
he too& me to be, as 1 lay %8on my breast in her ma?esty's right
hand$ B%t this 8rincess, ,ho has an infinite deal of ,it and
h%mo%r, set me gently on my feet %8on the scr%toire, and commanded
me to give his ma?esty an acco%nt of myself, ,hich 1 did in a very
fe, ,ordsA and Gl%mdalclitch ,ho attended at the cabinet door, and
co%ld not end%re 1 sho%ld be o%t of her sight, being admitted,
confirmed all that had 8assed from my arrival at her father's
The &ing, altho%gh he be as learned a 8erson as any in his
dominions, had been ed%cated in the st%dy of 8hiloso8hy, and
8artic%larly mathematics7 yet ,hen he observed my sha8e exactly,
and sa, me ,al& erect, before 1 began to s8ea&, conceived 1 might
be a 8iece of cloc&F,or& B,hich is in that co%ntry arrived to a
very great 8erfectionC contrived by some ingenio%s artist$ B%t
,hen he heard my voice, and fo%nd ,hat 1 delivered to be reg%lar
and rational, he co%ld not conceal his astonishment$ -e ,as by no
means satisfied ,ith the relation 1 gave him of the manner 1 came
into his &ingdom, b%t tho%ght it a story concerted bet,een
Gl%mdalclitch and her father, ,ho had ta%ght me a set of ,ords to
ma&e me sell at a better 8rice$ /8on this imagination, he 8%t
several other 9%estions to me, and still received rational ans,ersA
no other,ise defective than by a foreign accent, and an im8erfect
&no,ledge in the lang%age, ,ith some r%stic 8hrases ,hich 1 had
learned at the farmer's ho%se, and did not s%it the 8olite style of
a co%rt$
-is ma?esty sent for three great scholars, ,ho ,ere then in their
,ee&ly ,aiting, according to the c%stom in that co%ntry$ These
gentlemen, after they had a ,hile examined my sha8e ,ith m%ch
nicety, ,ere of different o8inions concerning me$ They all agreed
that 1 co%ld not be 8rod%ced according to the reg%lar la,s of
nat%re, beca%se 1 ,as not framed ,ith a ca8acity of 8reserving my
life, either by s,iftness, or climbing of trees, or digging holes
in the earth$ They observed by my teeth, ,hich they vie,ed ,ith
great exactness, that 1 ,as a carnivoro%s animal7 yet most
9%adr%8eds being an overmatch for me, and field mice, ,ith some
others, too nimble, they co%ld not imagine ho, 1 sho%ld be able to
s%88ort myself, %nless 1 fed %8on snails and other insects, ,hich
they offered, by many learned arg%ments, to evince that 1 co%ld not
8ossibly do$ 2ne of these virt%osi seemed to thin& that 1 might be
an embryo, or abortive birth$ B%t this o8inion ,as re?ected by the
other t,o, ,ho observed my limbs to be 8erfect and finished7 and
that 1 had lived several years, as it ,as manifest from my beard,
the st%m8s ,hereof they 8lainly discovered thro%gh a magnifying
glass$ They ,o%ld not allo, me to be a d,arf, beca%se my
littleness ,as beyond all degrees of com8arison7 for the 9%een's
favo%rite d,arf, the smallest ever &no,n in that &ingdom, ,as near
thirty feet high$ 3fter m%ch debate, they concl%ded %nanimo%sly,
that 1 ,as only rel8l%m scalcath, ,hich is inter8reted literally
l%s%s nat%rae7 a determination exactly agreeable to the modern
8hiloso8hy of .%ro8e, ,hose 8rofessors, disdaining the old evasion
of occ%lt ca%ses, ,hereby the follo,ers of 3ristotle endeavo%red in
vain to disg%ise their ignorance, have invented this ,onderf%l
sol%tion of all diffic%lties, to the %ns8ea&able advancement of
h%man &no,ledge$
3fter this decisive concl%sion, 1 entreated to be heard a ,ord or
t,o$ 1 a88lied myself to the &ing, and ass%red his ma?esty, >that
1 came from a co%ntry ,hich abo%nded ,ith several millions of both
sexes, and of my o,n stat%re7 ,here the animals, trees, and ho%ses,
,ere all in 8ro8ortion, and ,here, by conse9%ence, 1 might be as
able to defend myself, and to find s%stenance, as any of his
ma?esty's s%b?ects co%ld do here7 ,hich 1 too& for a f%ll ans,er to
those gentlemen's arg%ments$> To this they only re8lied ,ith a
smile of contem8t, saying, >that the farmer had instr%cted me very
,ell in my lesson$> The &ing, ,ho had a m%ch better %nderstanding,
dismissing his learned men, sent for the farmer, ,ho by good
fort%ne ,as not yet gone o%t of to,n$ -aving therefore first
examined him 8rivately, and then confronted him ,ith me and the
yo%ng girl, his ma?esty began to thin& that ,hat ,e told him might
8ossibly be tr%e$ -e desired the 9%een to order that a 8artic%lar
care sho%ld be ta&en of me7 and ,as of o8inion that Gl%mdalclitch
sho%ld still contin%e in her office of tending me, beca%se he
observed ,e had a great affection for each other$ 3 convenient
a8artment ,as 8rovided for her at co%rtA she had a sort of
governess a88ointed to ta&e care of her ed%cation, a maid to dress
her, and t,o other servants for menial offices7 b%t the care of me
,as ,holly a88ro8riated to herself$ The 9%een commanded her o,n
cabinetFma&er to contrive a box, that might serve me for a
bedchamber, after the model that Gl%mdalclitch and 1 sho%ld agree
%8on$ This man ,as a most ingenio%s artist, and according to my
direction, in three ,ee&s finished for me a ,ooden chamber of
sixteen feet s9%are, and t,elve high, ,ith sashF,indo,s, a door,
and t,o closets, li&e a 0ondon bedFchamber$ The board, that made
the ceiling, ,as to be lifted %8 and do,n by t,o hinges, to 8%t in
a bed ready f%rnished by her ma?esty's %8holsterer, ,hich
Gl%mdalclitch too& o%t every day to air, made it ,ith her o,n
hands, and letting it do,n at night, loc&ed %8 the roof over me$ 3
nice ,or&man, ,ho ,as famo%s for little c%riosities, %ndertoo& to
ma&e me t,o chairs, ,ith bac&s and frames, of a s%bstance not
%nli&e ivory, and t,o tables, ,ith a cabinet to 8%t my things in$
The room ,as 9%ilted on all sides, as ,ell as the floor and the
ceiling, to 8revent any accident from the carelessness of those ,ho
carried me, and to brea& the force of a ?olt, ,hen 1 ,ent in a
coach$ 1 desired a loc& for my door, to 8revent rats and mice from
coming in$ The smith, after several attem8ts, made the smallest
that ever ,as seen among them, for 1 have &no,n a larger at the
gate of a gentleman's ho%se in .ngland$ 1 made a shift to &ee8 the
&ey in a 8oc&et of my o,n, fearing Gl%mdalclitch might lose it$
The 9%een li&e,ise ordered the thinnest sil&s that co%ld be gotten,
to ma&e me clothes, not m%ch thic&er than an .nglish blan&et, very
c%mbersome till 1 ,as acc%stomed to them$ They ,ere after the
fashion of the &ingdom, 8artly resembling the Persian, and 8artly
the :hinese, and are a very grave and decent habit$
The 9%een became so fond of my com8any, that she co%ld not dine
,itho%t me$ 1 had a table 8laced %8on the same at ,hich her
ma?esty ate, ?%st at her left elbo,, and a chair to sit on$
Gl%mdalclitch stood on a stool on the floor near my table, to
assist and ta&e care of me$ 1 had an entire set of silver dishes
and 8lates, and other necessaries, ,hich, in 8ro8ortion to those of
the 9%een, ,ere not m%ch bigger than ,hat 1 have seen in a 0ondon
toyFsho8 for the f%rnit%re of a babyFho%seA these my little n%rse
&e8t in her 8oc&et in a silver box, and gave me at meals as 1
,anted them, al,ays cleaning them herself$ )o 8erson dined ,ith
the 9%een b%t the t,o 8rincesses royal, the eldest sixteen years
old, and the yo%nger at that time thirteen and a month$ -er
ma?esty %sed to 8%t a bit of meat %8on one of my dishes, o%t of
,hich 1 carved for myself, and her diversion ,as to see me eat in
miniat%reA for the 9%een B,ho had indeed b%t a ,ea& stomachC too&
%8, at one mo%thf%l, as m%ch as a doEen .nglish farmers co%ld eat
at a meal, ,hich to me ,as for some time a very na%seo%s sight$
She ,o%ld cra%nch the ,ing of a lar&, bones and all, bet,een her
teeth, altho%gh it ,ere nine times as large as that of a f%llFgro,n
t%r&ey7 and 8%t a bit of bread into her mo%th as big as t,o t,elveF
8enny loaves$ She dran& o%t of a golden c%8, above a hogshead at a
dra%ght$ -er &nives ,ere t,ice as long as a scythe, set straight
%8on the handle$ The s8oons, for&s, and other instr%ments, ,ere
all in the same 8ro8ortion$ 1 remember ,hen Gl%mdalclitch carried
me, o%t of c%riosity, to see some of the tables at co%rt, ,here ten
or a doEen of those enormo%s &nives and for&s ,ere lifted %8
together, 1 tho%ght 1 had never till then beheld so terrible a
1t is the c%stom, that every *ednesday B,hich, as 1 have observed,
is their SabbathC the &ing and 9%een, ,ith the royal iss%e of both
sexes, dine together in the a8artment of his ma?esty, to ,hom 1 ,as
no, become a great favo%rite7 and at these times, my little chair
and table ,ere 8laced at his left hand, before one of the saltF
cellars$ This 8rince too& a 8leas%re in conversing ,ith me,
in9%iring into the manners, religion, la,s, government, and
learning of .%ro8e7 ,herein 1 gave him the best acco%nt 1 ,as able$
-is a88rehension ,as so clear, and his ?%dgment so exact, that he
made very ,ise reflections and observations %8on all 1 said$ B%t 1
confess, that, after 1 had been a little too co8io%s in tal&ing of
my o,n beloved co%ntry, of o%r trade and ,ars by sea and land, of
o%r schisms in religion, and 8arties in the state7 the 8re?%dices
of his ed%cation 8revailed so far, that he co%ld not forbear ta&ing
me %8 in his right hand, and stro&ing me gently ,ith the other,
after a hearty fit of la%ghing, as&ed me, >,hether 1 ,as a ,hig or
toryD> Then t%rning to his first minister, ,ho ,aited behind him
,ith a ,hite staff, near as tall as the mainmast of the (oyal
Sovereign, he observed >ho, contem8tible a thing ,as h%man
grande%r, ,hich co%ld be mimic&ed by s%ch dimin%tive insects as 1A
and yet,> says he, >1 dare engage these creat%res have their titles
and distinctions of hono%r7 they contrive little nests and b%rro,s,
that they call ho%ses and cities7 they ma&e a fig%re in dress and
e9%i8age7 they love, they fight, they dis8%te, they cheat, they
betrayM> 3nd th%s he contin%ed on, ,hile my colo%r came and ,ent
several times, ,ith indignation, to hear o%r noble co%ntry, the
mistress of arts and arms, the sco%rge of <rance, the arbitress of
.%ro8e, the seat of virt%e, 8iety, hono%r, and tr%th, the 8ride and
envy of the ,orld, so contem8t%o%sly treated$
B%t as 1 ,as not in a condition to resent in?%ries, so %8on mat%re
tho%ghts 1 began to do%bt ,hether 1 ,as in?%red or no$ <or, after
having been acc%stomed several months to the sight and converse of
this 8eo8le, and observed every ob?ect %8on ,hich 1 cast mine eyes
to be of 8ro8ortionable magnit%de, the horror 1 had at first
conceived from their b%l& and as8ect ,as so far ,orn off, that if 1
had then beheld a com8any of .nglish lords and ladies in their
finery and birthFday clothes, acting their several 8arts in the
most co%rtly manner of str%tting, and bo,ing, and 8rating, to say
the tr%th, 1 sho%ld have been strongly tem8ted to la%gh as m%ch at
them as the &ing and his grandees did at me$ )either, indeed,
co%ld 1 forbear smiling at myself, ,hen the 9%een %sed to 8lace me
%8on her hand to,ards a loo&ingFglass, by ,hich both o%r 8ersons
a88eared before me in f%ll vie, together7 and there co%ld be
nothing more ridic%lo%s than the com8arison7 so that 1 really began
to imagine myself d,indled many degrees belo, my %s%al siEe$
)othing angered and mortified me so m%ch as the 9%een's d,arf7 ,ho
being of the lo,est stat%re that ,as ever in that co%ntry Bfor 1
verily thin& he ,as not f%ll thirty feet highC, became so insolent
at seeing a creat%re so m%ch beneath him, that he ,o%ld al,ays
affect to s,agger and loo& big as he 8assed by me in the 9%een's
antechamber, ,hile 1 ,as standing on some table tal&ing ,ith the
lords or ladies of the co%rt, and he seldom failed of a smart ,ord
or t,o %8on my littleness7 against ,hich 1 co%ld only revenge
myself by calling him brother, challenging him to ,restle, and s%ch
re8artees as are %s%ally in the mo%ths of co%rt 8ages$ 2ne day, at
dinner, this malicio%s little c%b ,as so nettled ,ith something 1
had said to him, that, raising himself %8on the frame of her
ma?esty's chair, he too& me %8 by the middle, as 1 ,as sitting
do,n, not thin&ing any harm, and let me dro8 into a large silver
bo,l of cream, and then ran a,ay as fast as he co%ld$ 1 fell over
head and ears, and, if 1 had not been a good s,immer, it might have
gone very hard ,ith me7 for Gl%mdalclitch in that instant ha88ened
to be at the other end of the room, and the 9%een ,as in s%ch a
fright, that she ,anted 8resence of mind to assist me$ B%t my
little n%rse ran to my relief, and too& me o%t, after 1 had
s,allo,ed above a 9%art of cream$ 1 ,as 8%t to bedA ho,ever, 1
received no other damage than the loss of a s%it of clothes, ,hich
,as %tterly s8oiled$ The d,arf ,as so%ndly ,hi8t, and as a farther
8%nishment, forced to drin& %8 the bo,l of cream into ,hich he had
thro,n meA neither ,as he ever restored to favo%r7 for soon after
the 9%een besto,ed him on a lady of high 9%ality, so that 1 sa, him
no more, to my very great satisfaction7 for 1 co%ld not tell to
,hat extremities s%ch a malicio%s %rchin might have carried his
-e had before served me a sc%rvy tric&, ,hich set the 9%een aF
la%ghing, altho%gh at the same time she ,as heartily vexed, and
,o%ld have immediately cashiered him, if 1 had not been so genero%s
as to intercede$ -er ma?esty had ta&en a marro,Fbone %8on her
8late, and, after &noc&ing o%t the marro,, 8laced the bone again in
the dish erect, as it stood before7 the d,arf, ,atching his
o88ort%nity, ,hile Gl%mdalclitch ,as gone to the sideFboard,
mo%nted the stool that she stood on to ta&e care of me at meals,
too& me %8 in both hands, and s9%eeEing my legs together, ,edged
them into the marro, bone above my ,aist, ,here 1 st%c& for some
time, and made a very ridic%lo%s fig%re$ 1 believe it ,as near a
min%te before any one &ne, ,hat ,as become of me7 for 1 tho%ght it
belo, me to cry o%t$ B%t, as 8rinces seldom get their meat hot, my
legs ,ere not scalded, only my stoc&ings and breeches in a sad
condition$ The d,arf, at my entreaty, had no other 8%nishment than
a so%nd ,hi88ing$
1 ,as fre9%ently rallied by the 9%een %8on acco%nt of my
fearf%lness7 and she %sed to as& me ,hether the 8eo8le of my
co%ntry ,ere as great co,ards as myselfD The occasion ,as thisA
the &ingdom is m%ch 8estered ,ith flies in s%mmer7 and these odio%s
insects, each of them as big as a D%nstable lar&, hardly gave me
any rest ,hile 1 sat at dinner, ,ith their contin%al h%mming and
b%EEing abo%t mine ears$ They ,o%ld sometimes alight %8on my
vict%als, and leave their loathsome excrement, or s8a,n behind,
,hich to me ,as very visible, tho%gh not to the natives of that
co%ntry, ,hose large o8tics ,ere not so ac%te as mine, in vie,ing
smaller ob?ects$ Sometimes they ,o%ld fix %8on my nose, or
forehead, ,here they st%ng me to the 9%ic&, smelling very
offensively7 and 1 co%ld easily trace that visco%s matter, ,hich,
o%r nat%ralists tell %s, enables those creat%res to ,al& ,ith their
feet %8,ards %8on a ceiling$ 1 had m%ch ado to defend myself
against these detestable animals, and co%ld not forbear starting
,hen they came on my face$ 1t ,as the common 8ractice of the
d,arf, to catch a n%mber of these insects in his hand, as
schoolboys do among %s, and let them o%t s%ddenly %nder my nose, on
8%r8ose to frighten me, and divert the 9%een$ 6y remedy ,as to c%t
them in 8ieces ,ith my &nife, as they fle, in the air, ,herein my
dexterity ,as m%ch admired$
1 remember, one morning, ,hen Gl%mdalclitch had set me in a box
%8on a ,indo,, as she %s%ally did in fair days to give me air Bfor
1 d%rst not vent%re to let the box be h%ng on a nail o%t of the
,indo,, as ,e do ,ith cages in .nglandC, after 1 had lifted %8 one
of my sashes, and sat do,n at my table to eat a 8iece of s,eet ca&e
for my brea&fast, above t,enty ,as8s, all%red by the smell, came
flying into the room, h%mming lo%der than the drones of as many
bag8i8es$ Some of them seiEed my ca&e, and carried it 8iecemeal
a,ay7 others fle, abo%t my head and face, confo%nding me ,ith the
noise, and 8%tting me in the %tmost terror of their stings$
-o,ever, 1 had the co%rage to rise and dra, my hanger, and attac&
them in the air$ 1 dis8atched fo%r of them, b%t the rest got a,ay,
and 1 8resently sh%t my ,indo,$ These insects ,ere as large as
8artridgesA 1 too& o%t their stings, fo%nd them an inch and a half
long, and as shar8 as needles$ 1 caref%lly 8reserved them all7 and
having since sho,n them, ,ith some other c%riosities, in several
8arts of .%ro8e, %8on my ret%rn to .ngland 1 gave three of them to
Gresham :ollege, and &e8t the fo%rth for myself$
:-3PT.( 1=$
4The co%ntry described$ 3 8ro8osal for correcting modern ma8s$
The &ing's 8alace7 and some acco%nt of the metro8olis$ The
a%thor's ,ay of travelling$ The chief tem8le described$5
1 no, intend to give the reader a short descri8tion of this
co%ntry, as far as 1 travelled in it, ,hich ,as not above t,o
tho%sand miles ro%nd 0orbr%lgr%d, the metro8olis$ <or the 9%een,
,hom 1 al,ays attended, never ,ent farther ,hen she accom8anied the
&ing in his 8rogresses, and there staid till his ma?esty ret%rned
from vie,ing his frontiers$ The ,hole extent of this 8rince's
dominions reaches abo%t six tho%sand miles in length, and from
three to five in breadthA ,hence 1 cannot b%t concl%de, that o%r
geogra8hers of .%ro8e are in a great error, by s%88osing nothing
b%t sea bet,een +a8an and :alifornia7 for it ,as ever my o8inion,
that there m%st be a balance of earth to co%nter8oise the great
continent of Tartary7 and therefore they o%ght to correct their
ma8s and charts, by ?oining this vast tract of land to the northF
,est 8arts of 3merica, ,herein 1 shall be ready to lend them my
The &ingdom is a 8enins%la, terminated to the northFeast by a ridge
of mo%ntains thirty miles high, ,hich are altogether im8assable, by
reason of the volcanoes %8on the to8sA neither do the most learned
&no, ,hat sort of mortals inhabit beyond those mo%ntains, or
,hether they be inhabited at all$ 2n the three other sides, it is
bo%nded by the ocean$ There is not one sea8ort in the ,hole
&ingdomA and those 8arts of the coasts into ,hich the rivers
iss%e, are so f%ll of 8ointed roc&s, and the sea generally so
ro%gh, that there is no vent%ring ,ith the smallest of their boats7
so that these 8eo8le are ,holly excl%ded from any commerce ,ith the
rest of the ,orld$ B%t the large rivers are f%ll of vessels, and
abo%nd ,ith excellent fish7 for they seldom get any from the sea,
beca%se the sea fish are of the same siEe ,ith those in .%ro8e, and
conse9%ently not ,orth catching7 ,hereby it is manifest, that
nat%re, in the 8rod%ction of 8lants and animals of so extraordinary
a b%l&, is ,holly confined to this continent, of ,hich 1 leave the
reasons to be determined by 8hiloso8hers$ -o,ever, no, and then
they ta&e a ,hale that ha88ens to be dashed against the roc&s,
,hich the common 8eo8le feed on heartily$ These ,hales 1 have
&no,n so large, that a man co%ld hardly carry one %8on his
sho%lders7 and sometimes, for c%riosity, they are bro%ght in
ham8ers to 0orbr%lgr%d7 1 sa, one of them in a dish at the &ing's
table, ,hich 8assed for a rarity, b%t 1 did not observe he ,as fond
of it7 for 1 thin&, indeed, the bigness disg%sted him, altho%gh 1
have seen one some,hat larger in Greenland$
The co%ntry is ,ell inhabited, for it contains fiftyFone cities,
near a h%ndred ,alled to,ns, and a great n%mber of villages$ To
satisfy my c%rio%s reader, it may be s%fficient to describe
0orbr%lgr%d$ This city stands %8on almost t,o e9%al 8arts, on each
side the river that 8asses thro%gh$ 1t contains above eighty
tho%sand ho%ses, and abo%t six h%ndred tho%sand inhabitants$ 1t is
in length three glomgl%ngs B,hich ma&e abo%t fiftyFfo%r .nglish
miles,C and t,o and a half in breadth7 as 1 meas%red it myself in
the royal ma8 made by the &ing's order, ,hich ,as laid on the
gro%nd on 8%r8ose for me, and extended a h%ndred feetA 1 8aced the
diameter and circ%mference several times barefoot, and, com8%ting
by the scale, meas%red it 8retty exactly$
The &ing's 8alace is no reg%lar edifice, b%t a hea8 of b%ildings,
abo%t seven miles ro%ndA the chief rooms are generally t,o h%ndred
and forty feet high, and broad and long in 8ro8ortion$ 3 coach ,as
allo,ed to Gl%mdalclitch and me, ,herein her governess fre9%ently
too& her o%t to see the to,n, or go among the sho8s7 and 1 ,as
al,ays of the 8arty, carried in my box7 altho%gh the girl, at my
o,n desire, ,o%ld often ta&e me o%t, and hold me in her hand, that
1 might more conveniently vie, the ho%ses and the 8eo8le, as ,e
8assed along the streets$ 1 rec&oned o%r coach to be abo%t a
s9%are of *estminsterFhall, b%t not altogether so highA ho,ever, 1
cannot be very exact$ 2ne day the governess ordered o%r coachman
to sto8 at several sho8s, ,here the beggars, ,atching their
o88ort%nity, cro,ded to the sides of the coach, and gave me the
most horrible s8ectacle that ever a .%ro8ean eye beheld$ There ,as
a ,oman ,ith a cancer in her breast, s,elled to a monstro%s siEe,
f%ll of holes, in t,o or three of ,hich 1 co%ld have easily cre8t,
and covered my ,hole body$ There ,as a fello, ,ith a ,en in his
nec&, larger than five ,oolF8ac&s7 and another, ,ith a co%8le of
,ooden legs, each abo%t t,enty feet high$ B%t the most hatef%l
sight of all, ,as the lice cra,ling on their clothes$ 1 co%ld see
distinctly the limbs of these vermin ,ith my na&ed eye, m%ch better
than those of a .%ro8ean lo%se thro%gh a microsco8e, and their
sno%ts ,ith ,hich they rooted li&e s,ine$ They ,ere the first 1
had ever beheld, and 1 sho%ld have been c%rio%s eno%gh to dissect
one of them, if 1 had had 8ro8er instr%ments, ,hich 1 %nl%c&ily
left behind me in the shi8, altho%gh, indeed, the sight ,as so
na%seo%s, that it 8erfectly t%rned my stomach$
Besides the large box in ,hich 1 ,as %s%ally carried, the 9%een
ordered a smaller one to be made for me, of abo%t t,elve feet
s9%are, and ten high, for the convenience of travelling7 beca%se
the other ,as some,hat too large for Gl%mdalclitch's la8, and
c%mbersome in the coach7 it ,as made by the same artist, ,hom 1
directed in the ,hole contrivance$ This travellingFcloset ,as an
exact s9%are, ,ith a ,indo, in the middle of three of the s9%ares,
and each ,indo, ,as latticed ,ith iron ,ire on the o%tside, to
8revent accidents in long ?o%rneys$ 2n the fo%rth side, ,hich had
no ,indo,, t,o strong sta8les ,ere fixed, thro%gh ,hich the 8erson
that carried me, ,hen 1 had a mind to be on horsebac&, 8%t a
leathern belt, and b%c&led it abo%t his ,aist$ This ,as al,ays the
office of some grave tr%sty servant, in ,hom 1 co%ld confide,
,hether 1 attended the &ing and 9%een in their 8rogresses, or ,ere
dis8osed to see the gardens, or 8ay a visit to some great lady or
minister of state in the co%rt, ,hen Gl%mdalclitch ha88ened to be
o%t of order7 for 1 soon began to be &no,n and esteemed among the
greatest officers, 1 s%88ose more %8on acco%nt of their ma?esties'
favo%r, than any merit of my o,n$ 1n ?o%rneys, ,hen 1 ,as ,eary of
the coach, a servant on horsebac& ,o%ld b%c&le on my box, and 8lace
it %8on a c%shion before him7 and there 1 had a f%ll 8ros8ect of
the co%ntry on three sides, from my three ,indo,s$ 1 had, in this
closet, a fieldFbed and a hammoc&, h%ng from the ceiling, t,o
chairs and a table, neatly scre,ed to the floor, to 8revent being
tossed abo%t by the agitation of the horse or the coach$ 3nd
having been long %sed to seaFvoyages, those motions, altho%gh
sometimes very violent, did not m%ch discom8ose me$
*henever 1 had a mind to see the to,n, it ,as al,ays in my
travellingFcloset7 ,hich Gl%mdalclitch held in her la8 in a &ind of
o8en sedan, after the fashion of the co%ntry, borne by fo%r men,
and attended by t,o others in the 9%een's livery$ The 8eo8le, ,ho
had often heard of me, ,ere very c%rio%s to cro,d abo%t the sedan,
and the girl ,as com8laisant eno%gh to ma&e the bearers sto8, and
to ta&e me in her hand, that 1 might be more conveniently seen$
1 ,as very desiro%s to see the chief tem8le, and 8artic%larly the
to,er belonging to it, ,hich is rec&oned the highest in the
&ingdom$ 3ccordingly one day my n%rse carried me thither, b%t 1
may tr%ly say 1 came bac& disa88ointed7 for the height is not above
three tho%sand feet, rec&oning from the gro%nd to the highest
8innacle to87 ,hich, allo,ing for the difference bet,een the siEe
of those 8eo8le and %s in .%ro8e, is no great matter for
admiration, nor at all e9%al in 8ro8ortion Bif 1 rightly rememberC
to Salisb%ry stee8le$ B%t, not to detract from a nation, to ,hich,
d%ring my life, 1 shall ac&no,ledge myself extremely obliged, it
m%st be allo,ed, that ,hatever this famo%s to,er ,ants in height,
is am8ly made %8 in bea%ty and strengthA for the ,alls are near a
h%ndred feet thic&, b%ilt of he,n stone, ,hereof each is abo%t
forty feet s9%are, and adorned on all sides ,ith stat%es of gods
and em8erors, c%t in marble, larger than the life, 8laced in their
several niches$ 1 meas%red a little finger ,hich had fallen do,n
from one of these stat%es, and lay %n8erceived among some r%bbish,
and fo%nd it exactly fo%r feet and an inch in length$
Gl%mdalclitch ,ra88ed it %8 in her hand&erchief, and carried it
home in her 8oc&et, to &ee8 among other trin&ets, of ,hich the girl
,as very fond, as children at her age %s%ally are$
The &ing's &itchen is indeed a noble b%ilding, va%lted at to8, and
abo%t six h%ndred feet high$ The great oven is not so ,ide, by ten
8aces, as the c%8ola at St$ Pa%l'sA for 1 meas%red the latter on
8%r8ose, after my ret%rn$ B%t if 1 sho%ld describe the &itchen
grate, the 8rodigio%s 8ots and &ettles, the ?oints of meat t%rning
on the s8its, ,ith many other 8artic%lars, 8erha8s 1 sho%ld be
hardly believed7 at least a severe critic ,o%ld be a8t to thin& 1
enlarged a little, as travellers are often s%s8ected to do$ To
avoid ,hich cens%re 1 fear 1 have r%n too m%ch into the other
extreme7 and that if this treatise sho%ld ha88en to be translated
into the lang%age of Brobdingnag B,hich is the general name of that
&ingdom,C and transmitted thither, the &ing and his 8eo8le ,o%ld
have reason to com8lain that 1 had done them an in?%ry, by a false
and dimin%tive re8resentation$
-is ma?esty seldom &ee8s above six h%ndred horses in his stablesA
they are generally from fiftyFfo%r to sixty feet high$ B%t, ,hen
he goes abroad on solemn days, he is attended, for state, by a
military g%ard of five h%ndred horse, ,hich, indeed, 1 tho%ght ,as
the most s8lendid sight that co%ld be ever beheld, till 1 sa, 8art
of his army in battalia, ,hereof 1 shall find another occasion to
:-3PT.( =$
4Several advent%rers that ha88ened to the a%thor$ The exec%tion of
a criminal$ The a%thor sho,s his s&ill in navigation$5
1 sho%ld have lived ha88y eno%gh in that co%ntry, if my littleness
had not ex8osed me to several ridic%lo%s and tro%blesome accidents7
some of ,hich 1 shall vent%re to relate$ Gl%mdalclitch often
carried me into the gardens of the co%rt in my smaller box, and
,o%ld sometimes ta&e me o%t of it, and hold me in her hand, or set
me do,n to ,al&$ 1 remember, before the d,arf left the 9%een, he
follo,ed %s one day into those gardens, and my n%rse having set me
do,n, he and 1 being close together, near some d,arf a88le trees, 1
m%st needs sho, my ,it, by a silly all%sion bet,een him and the
trees, ,hich ha88ens to hold in their lang%age as it does in o%rs$
*here%8on, the malicio%s rog%e, ,atching his o88ort%nity, ,hen 1
,as ,al&ing %nder one of them, shoo& it directly over my head, by
,hich a doEen a88les, each of them near as large as a Bristol
barrel, came t%mbling abo%t my ears7 one of them hit me on the bac&
as 1 chanced to stoo8, and &noc&ed me do,n flat on my face7 b%t 1
received no other h%rt, and the d,arf ,as 8ardoned at my desire,
beca%se 1 had given the 8rovocation$
3nother day, Gl%mdalclitch left me on a smooth grassF8lot to divert
myself, ,hile she ,al&ed at some distance ,ith her governess$ 1n
the meantime, there s%ddenly fell s%ch a violent sho,er of hail,
that 1 ,as immediately by the force of it, str%c& to the gro%ndA
and ,hen 1 ,as do,n, the hailstones gave me s%ch cr%el bangs all
over the body, as if 1 had been 8elted ,ith tennisFballs7 ho,ever,
1 made a shift to cree8 on all fo%rs, and shelter myself, by lying
flat on my face, on the leeFside of a border of lemonFthyme, b%t so
br%ised from head to foot, that 1 co%ld not go abroad in ten days$
)either is this at all to be ,ondered at, beca%se nat%re, in that
co%ntry, observing the same 8ro8ortion thro%gh all her o8erations,
a hailstone is near eighteen h%ndred times as large as one in
.%ro8e7 ,hich 1 can assert %8on ex8erience, having been so c%rio%s
as to ,eigh and meas%re them$
B%t a more dangero%s accident ha88ened to me in the same garden,
,hen my little n%rse, believing she had 8%t me in a sec%re 8lace
B,hich 1 often entreated her to do, that 1 might en?oy my o,n
tho%ghts,C and having left my box at home, to avoid the tro%ble of
carrying it, ,ent to another 8art of the garden ,ith her governess
and some ladies of her ac9%aintance$ *hile she ,as absent, and o%t
of hearing, a small ,hite s8aniel that belonged to one of the chief
gardeners, having got by accident into the garden, ha88ened to
range near the 8lace ,here 1 layA the dog, follo,ing the scent,
came directly %8, and ta&ing me in his mo%th, ran straight to his
master ,agging his tail, and set me gently on the gro%nd$ By good
fort%ne he had been so ,ell ta%ght, that 1 ,as carried bet,een his
teeth ,itho%t the least h%rt, or even tearing my clothes$ B%t the
8oor gardener, ,ho &ne, me ,ell, and had a great &indness for me,
,as in a terrible frightA he gently too& me %8 in both his hands,
and as&ed me ho, 1 didD b%t 1 ,as so amaEed and o%t of breath, that
1 co%ld not s8ea& a ,ord$ 1n a fe, min%tes 1 came to myself, and
he carried me safe to my little n%rse, ,ho, by this time, had
ret%rned to the 8lace ,here she left me, and ,as in cr%el agonies
,hen 1 did not a88ear, nor ans,er ,hen she called$ She severely
re8rimanded the gardener on acco%nt of his dog$ B%t the thing ,as
h%shed %8, and never &no,n at co%rt, for the girl ,as afraid of the
9%een's anger7 and tr%ly, as to myself, 1 tho%ght it ,o%ld not be
for my re8%tation, that s%ch a story sho%ld go abo%t$
This accident absol%tely determined Gl%mdalclitch never to tr%st me
abroad for the f%t%re o%t of her sight$ 1 had been long afraid of
this resol%tion, and therefore concealed from her some little
%nl%c&y advent%res, that ha88ened in those times ,hen 1 ,as left by
myself$ 2nce a &ite, hovering over the garden, made a stoo8 at me,
and if 1 had not resol%tely dra,n my hanger, and r%n %nder a thic&
es8alier, he ,o%ld have certainly carried me a,ay in his talons$
3nother time, ,al&ing to the to8 of a fresh moleFhill, 1 fell to my
nec& in the hole, thro%gh ,hich that animal had cast %8 the earth,
and coined some lie, not ,orth remembering, to exc%se myself for
s8oiling my clothes$ 1 li&e,ise bro&e my right shin against the
shell of a snail, ,hich 1 ha88ened to st%mble over, as 1 ,as
,al&ing alone and thin&ing on 8oor .ngland$
1 cannot tell ,hether 1 ,ere more 8leased or mortified to observe,
in those solitary ,al&s, that the smaller birds did not a88ear to
be at all afraid of me, b%t ,o%ld ho8 abo%t ,ithin a yard's
distance, loo&ing for ,orms and other food, ,ith as m%ch
indifference and sec%rity as if no creat%re at all ,ere near them$
1 remember, a thr%sh had the confidence to snatch o%t of my hand,
,ith his bill, a of ca&e that Gl%mdalclitch had ?%st given me for
my brea&fast$ *hen 1 attem8ted to catch any of these birds, they
,o%ld boldly t%rn against me, endeavo%ring to 8ec& my fingers,
,hich 1 d%rst not vent%re ,ithin their reach7 and then they ,o%ld
ho8 bac& %nconcerned, to h%nt for ,orms or snails, as they did
before$ B%t one day, 1 too& a thic& c%dgel, and thre, it ,ith all
my strength so l%c&ily, at a linnet, that 1 &noc&ed him do,n, and
seiEing him by the nec& ,ith both my hands, ran ,ith him in tri%m8h
to my n%rse$ -o,ever, the bird, ,ho had only been st%nned,
recovering himself gave me so many boxes ,ith his ,ings, on both
sides of my head and body, tho%gh 1 held him at arm'sFlength, and
,as o%t of the reach of his cla,s, that 1 ,as t,enty times thin&ing
to let him go$ B%t 1 ,as soon relieved by one of o%r servants, ,ho
,r%ng off the bird's nec&, and 1 had him next day for dinner, by
the 9%een's command$ This linnet, as near as 1 can remember,
seemed to be some,hat larger than an .nglish s,an$
The maids of hono%r often invited Gl%mdalclitch to their
a8artments, and desired she ,o%ld bring me along ,ith her, on
8%r8ose to have the 8leas%re of seeing and to%ching me$ They ,o%ld
often stri8 me na&ed from to8 to toe, and lay me at f%ll length in
their bosoms7 ,here,ith 1 ,as m%ch disg%sted beca%se, to say the
tr%th, a very offensive smell came from their s&ins7 ,hich 1 do not
mention, or intend, to the disadvantage of those excellent ladies,
for ,hom 1 have all manner of res8ect7 b%t 1 conceive that my sense
,as more ac%te in 8ro8ortion to my littleness, and that those
ill%strio%s 8ersons ,ere no more disagreeable to their lovers, or
to each other, than 8eo8le of the same 9%ality are ,ith %s in
.ngland$ 3nd, after all, 1 fo%nd their nat%ral smell ,as m%ch more
s%88ortable, than ,hen they %sed 8erf%mes, %nder ,hich 1
immediately s,ooned a,ay$ 1 cannot forget, that an intimate friend
of mine in 0illi8%t, too& the freedom in a ,arm day, ,hen 1 had
%sed a good deal of exercise, to com8lain of a strong smell abo%t
me, altho%gh 1 am as little fa%lty that ,ay, as most of my sexA
b%t 1 s%88ose his fac%lty of smelling ,as as nice ,ith regard to
me, as mine ,as to that of this 8eo8le$ /8on this 8oint, 1 cannot
forbear doing ?%stice to the 9%een my mistress, and Gl%mdalclitch
my n%rse, ,hose 8ersons ,ere as s,eet as those of any lady in
That ,hich gave me most %neasiness among these maids of hono%r
B,hen my n%rse carried me to visit thenC ,as, to see them %se me
,itho%t any manner of ceremony, li&e a creat%re ,ho had no sort of
conse9%enceA for they ,o%ld stri8 themselves to the s&in, and 8%t
on their smoc&s in my 8resence, ,hile 1 ,as 8laced on their toilet,
directly before their na&ed bodies, ,hich 1 am s%re to me ,as very
far from being a tem8ting sight, or from giving me any other
emotions than those of horror and disg%stA their s&ins a88eared so
coarse and %neven, so vario%sly colo%red, ,hen 1 sa, them near,
,ith a mole here and there as broad as a trencher, and hairs
hanging from it thic&er than 8ac&threads, to say nothing farther
concerning the rest of their 8ersons$ )either did they at all
scr%8le, ,hile 1 ,as by, to discharge ,hat they had dran&, to the
9%antity of at least t,o hogsheads, in a vessel that held above
three t%ns$ The handsomest among these maids of hono%r, a
8leasant, frolicsome girl of sixteen, ,o%ld sometimes set me
astride %8on one of her ni88les, ,ith many other tric&s, ,herein
the reader ,ill exc%se me for not being over 8artic%lar$ B%t 1 ,as
so m%ch dis8leased, that 1 entreated Gl%mdalclitch to contrive some
exc%se for not seeing that yo%ng lady any more$
2ne day, a yo%ng gentleman, ,ho ,as ne8he, to my n%rse's governess,
came and 8ressed them both to see an exec%tion$ 1t ,as of a man,
,ho had m%rdered one of that gentleman's intimate ac9%aintance$
Gl%mdalclitch ,as 8revailed on to be of the com8any, very m%ch
against her inclination, for she ,as nat%rally tenderFheartedA
and, as for myself, altho%gh 1 abhorred s%ch &ind of s8ectacles,
yet my c%riosity tem8ted me to see something that 1 tho%ght m%st be
extraordinary$ The malefactor ,as fixed in a chair %8on a scaffold
erected for that 8%r8ose, and his head c%t off at one blo,, ,ith a
s,ord of abo%t forty feet long$ The veins and arteries s8o%ted %8
s%ch a 8rodigio%s 9%antity of blood, and so high in the air, that
the great ?et d'ea% at =ersailles ,as not e9%al to it for the time
it lastedA and the head, ,hen it fell on the scaffold floor, gave
s%ch a bo%nce as made me start, altho%gh 1 ,as at least half an
.nglish mile distant$
The 9%een, ,ho often %sed to hear me tal& of my seaFvoyages, and
too& all occasions to divert me ,hen 1 ,as melancholy, as&ed me
,hether 1 %nderstood ho, to handle a sail or an oar, and ,hether a
little exercise of ro,ing might not be convenient for my healthD 1
ans,ered, that 1 %nderstood both very ,ellA for altho%gh my 8ro8er
em8loyment had been to be s%rgeon or doctor to the shi8, yet often,
%8on a 8inch, 1 ,as forced to ,or& li&e a common mariner$ B%t 1
co%ld not see ho, this co%ld be done in their co%ntry, ,here the
smallest ,herry ,as e9%al to a firstFrate man of ,ar among %s7 and
s%ch a boat as 1 co%ld manage ,o%ld never live in any of their
rivers$ -er ma?esty said, if 1 ,o%ld contrive a boat, her o,n
?oiner sho%ld ma&e it, and she ,o%ld 8rovide a 8lace for me to sail
in$ The fello, ,as an ingenio%s ,or&man, and by my instr%ctions,
in ten days, finished a 8leas%reFboat ,ith all its tac&ling, able
conveniently to hold eight .%ro8eans$ *hen it ,as finished, the
9%een ,as so delighted, that she ran ,ith it in her la8 to the
&ing, ,ho ordered it to be 8%t into a cistern f%ll of ,ater, ,ith
me in it, by ,ay of trial, ,here 1 co%ld not manage my t,o sc%lls,
or little oars, for ,ant of room$ B%t the 9%een had before
contrived another 8ro?ect$ She ordered the ?oiner to ma&e a ,ooden
tro%gh of three h%ndred feet long, fifty broad, and eight dee87
,hich, being ,ell 8itched, to 8revent lea&ing, ,as 8laced on the
floor, along the ,all, in an o%ter room of the 8alace$ 1t had a
coc& near the bottom to let o%t the ,ater, ,hen it began to gro,
stale7 and t,o servants co%ld easily fill it in half an ho%r$ -ere
1 often %sed to ro, for my o,n diversion, as ,ell as that of the
9%een and her ladies, ,ho tho%ght themselves ,ell entertained ,ith
my s&ill and agility$ Sometimes 1 ,o%ld 8%t %8 my sail, and then
my b%siness ,as only to steer, ,hile the ladies gave me a gale ,ith
their fans7 and, ,hen they ,ere ,eary, some of their 8ages ,o%ld
blo, my sail for,ard ,ith their breath, ,hile 1 sho,ed my art by
steering starboard or larboard as 1 8leased$ *hen 1 had done,
Gl%mdalclitch al,ays carried bac& my boat into her closet, and h%ng
it on a nail to dry$
1n this exercise 1 once met an accident, ,hich had li&e to have
cost me my life7 for, one of the 8ages having 8%t my boat into the
tro%gh, the governess ,ho attended Gl%mdalclitch very officio%sly
lifted me %8, to 8lace me in the boatA b%t 1 ha88ened to sli8
thro%gh her fingers, and sho%ld infallibly have fallen do,n forty
feet %8on the floor, if, by the l%c&iest chance in the ,orld, 1 had
not been sto88ed by a cor&ingF8in that st%c& in the good
gentle,oman's stomacher7 the head of the 8in 8assing bet,een my
shirt and the ,aistband of my breeches, and th%s 1 ,as held by the
middle in the air, till Gl%mdalclitch ran to my relief$
3nother time, one of the servants, ,hose office it ,as to fill my
tro%gh every third day ,ith fresh ,ater, ,as so careless as to let
a h%ge frog Bnot 8erceiving itC sli8 o%t of his 8ail$ The frog lay
concealed till 1 ,as 8%t into my boat, b%t then, seeing a restingF
8lace, climbed %8, and made it lean so m%ch on one side, that 1 ,as
forced to balance it ,ith all my ,eight on the other, to 8revent
overt%rning$ *hen the frog ,as got in, it ho88ed at once half the
length of the boat, and then over my head, bac&,ard and for,ard,
da%bing my face and clothes ,ith its odio%s slime$ The largeness
of its feat%res made it a88ear the most deformed animal that can be
conceived$ -o,ever, 1 desired Gl%mdalclitch to let me deal ,ith it
alone$ 1 banged it a good ,hile ,ith one of my sc%lls, and at last
forced it to lea8 o%t of the boat$
B%t the greatest danger 1 ever %nder,ent in that &ingdom, ,as from
a mon&ey, ,ho belonged to one of the cler&s of the &itchen$
Gl%mdalclitch had loc&ed me %8 in her closet, ,hile she ,ent
some,here %8on b%siness, or a visit$ The ,eather being very ,arm,
the closetF,indo, ,as left o8en, as ,ell as the ,indo,s and the
door of my bigger box, in ,hich 1 %s%ally lived, beca%se of its
largeness and conveniency$ 3s 1 sat 9%ietly meditating at my
table, 1 heard something bo%nce in at the closetF,indo,, and s&i8
abo%t from one side to the otherA ,hereat, altho%gh 1 ,as m%ch
alarmed, yet 1 vent%red to loo& o%t, b%t not stirring from my seat7
and then 1 sa, this frolicsome animal fris&ing and lea8ing %8 and
do,n, till at last he came to my box, ,hich he seemed to vie, ,ith
great 8leas%re and c%riosity, 8ee8ing in at the door and every
,indo,$ 1 retreated to the farther corner of my room7 or box7 b%t
the mon&ey loo&ing in at every side, 8%t me in s%ch a fright, that
1 ,anted 8resence of mind to conceal myself %nder the bed, as 1
might easily have done$ 3fter some time s8ent in 8ee8ing,
grinning, and chattering, he at last es8ied me7 and reaching one of
his 8a,s in at the door, as a cat does ,hen she 8lays ,ith a mo%se,
altho%gh 1 often shifted 8lace to avoid him, he at length seiEed
the la88et of my coat B,hich being made of that co%ntry sil&, ,as
very thic& and strongC, and dragged me o%t$ -e too& me %8 in his
right foreFfoot and held me as a n%rse does a child she is going to
s%c&le, ?%st as 1 have seen the same sort of creat%re do ,ith a
&itten in .%ro8e7 and ,hen 1 offered to str%ggle he s9%eeEed me so
hard, that 1 tho%ght it more 8r%dent to s%bmit$ 1 have good reason
to believe, that he too& me for a yo%ng one of his o,n s8ecies, by
his often stro&ing my face very gently ,ith his other 8a,$ 1n
these diversions he ,as interr%8ted by a noise at the closet door,
as if somebody ,ere o8ening itA ,here%8on he s%ddenly lea8ed %8 to
the ,indo, at ,hich he had come in, and thence %8on the leads and
g%tters, ,al&ing %8on three legs, and holding me in the fo%rth,
till he clambered %8 to a roof that ,as next to o%rs$ 1 heard
Gl%mdalclitch give a shrie& at the moment he ,as carrying me o%t$
The 8oor girl ,as almost distractedA that 9%arter of the 8alace
,as all in an %8roar7 the servants ran for ladders7 the mon&ey ,as
seen by h%ndreds in the co%rt, sitting %8on the ridge of a
b%ilding, holding me li&e a baby in one of his fore8a,s, and
feeding me ,ith the other, by cramming into my mo%th some vict%als
he had s9%eeEed o%t of the bag on one side of his cha8s, and
8atting me ,hen 1 ,o%ld not eat7 ,hereat many of the rabble belo,
co%ld not forbear la%ghing7 neither do 1 thin& they ?%stly o%ght to
be blamed, for, ,itho%t 9%estion, the sight ,as ridic%lo%s eno%gh
to every body b%t myself$ Some of the 8eo8le thre, %8 stones,
ho8ing to drive the mon&ey do,n7 b%t this ,as strictly forbidden,
or else, very 8robably, my brains had been dashed o%t$
The ladders ,ere no, a88lied, and mo%nted by several men7 ,hich the
mon&ey observing, and finding himself almost encom8assed, not being
able to ma&e s8eed eno%gh ,ith his three legs, let me dro8 on a
ridge tile, and made his esca8e$ -ere 1 sat for some time, five
h%ndred yards from the gro%nd, ex8ecting every moment to be blo,n
do,n by the ,ind, or to fall by my o,n giddiness, and come t%mbling
over and over from the ridge to the eaves7 b%t an honest lad, one
of my n%rse's footmen, climbed %8, and 8%tting me into his breeches
8oc&et, bro%ght me do,n safe$
1 ,as almost cho&ed ,ith the filthy st%ff the mon&ey had crammed
do,n my throatA b%t my dear little n%rse 8ic&ed it o%t of my mo%th
,ith a small needle, and then 1 fell aFvomiting, ,hich gave me
great relief$ ;et 1 ,as so ,ea& and br%ised in the sides ,ith the
s9%eeEes given me by this odio%s animal, that 1 ,as forced to &ee8
my bed a fortnight$ The &ing, 9%een, and all the co%rt, sent every
day to in9%ire after my health7 and her ma?esty made me several
visits d%ring my sic&ness$ The mon&ey ,as &illed, and an order
made, that no s%ch animal sho%ld be &e8t abo%t the 8alace$
*hen 1 attended the &ing after my recovery, to ret%rn him than&s
for his favo%rs, he ,as 8leased to rally me a good deal %8on this
advent%re$ -e as&ed me, >,hat my tho%ghts and s8ec%lations ,ere,
,hile 1 lay in the mon&ey's 8a,7 ho, 1 li&ed the vict%als he gave
me7 his manner of feeding7 and ,hether the fresh air on the roof
had shar8ened my stomach$> -e desired to &no,, >,hat 1 ,o%ld have
done %8on s%ch an occasion in my o,n co%ntry$> 1 told his ma?esty,
>that in .%ro8e ,e had no mon&eys, exce8t s%ch as ,ere bro%ght for
c%riosity from other 8laces, and so small, that 1 co%ld deal ,ith a
doEen of them together, if they 8res%med to attac& me$ 3nd as for
that monstro%s animal ,ith ,hom 1 ,as so lately engaged Bit ,as
indeed as large as an ele8hantC, if my fears had s%ffered me to
thin& so far as to ma&e %se of my hanger,> Bloo&ing fiercely, and
cla88ing my hand on the hilt, as 1 s8o&eC >,hen he 8o&ed his 8a,
into my chamber, 8erha8s 1 sho%ld have given him s%ch a ,o%nd, as
,o%ld have made him glad to ,ithdra, it ,ith more haste than he 8%t
it in$> This 1 delivered in a firm tone, li&e a 8erson ,ho ,as
?ealo%s lest his co%rage sho%ld be called in 9%estion$ -o,ever, my
s8eech 8rod%ced nothing else beside a la%d la%ghter, ,hich all the
res8ect d%e to his ma?esty from those abo%t him co%ld not ma&e them
contain$ This made me reflect, ho, vain an attem8t it is for a man
to endeavo%r to do himself hono%r among those ,ho are o%t of all
degree of e9%ality or com8arison ,ith him$ 3nd yet 1 have seen the
moral of my o,n behavio%r very fre9%ent in .ngland since my ret%rn7
,here a little contem8tible varlet, ,itho%t the least title to
birth, 8erson, ,it, or common sense, shall 8res%me to loo& ,ith
im8ortance, and 8%t himself %8on a foot ,ith the greatest 8ersons
of the &ingdom$
1 ,as every day f%rnishing the co%rt ,ith some ridic%lo%s storyA
and Gl%mdalclitch, altho%gh she loved me to excess, yet ,as arch
eno%gh to inform the 9%een, ,henever 1 committed any folly that she
tho%ght ,o%ld be diverting to her ma?esty$ The girl, ,ho had been
o%t of order, ,as carried by her governess to ta&e the air abo%t an
ho%r's distance, or thirty miles from to,n$ They alighted o%t of
the coach near a small footF8ath in a field, and Gl%mdalclitch
setting do,n my travelling box, 1 ,ent o%t of it to ,al&$ There
,as a co,Fd%ng in the 8ath, and 1 m%st need try my activity by
attem8ting to lea8 over it$ 1 too& a r%n, b%t %nfort%nately ?%m8ed
short, and fo%nd myself ?%st in the middle %8 to my &nees$ 1 ,aded
thro%gh ,ith some diffic%lty, and one of the footmen ,i8ed me as
clean as he co%ld ,ith his hand&erchief, for 1 ,as filthily
bemired7 and my n%rse confined me to my box, till ,e ret%rned home7
,here the 9%een ,as soon informed of ,hat had 8assed, and the
footmen s8read it abo%t the co%rtA so that all the mirth for some
days ,as at my ex8ense$
:-3PT.( =1$
4Several contrivances of the a%thor to 8lease the &ing and 9%een$
-e sho,s his s&ill in m%sic$ The &ing in9%ires into the state of
.ngland, ,hich the a%thor relates to him$ The &ing's observations
1 %sed to attend the &ing's levee once or t,ice a ,ee&, and had
often seen him %nder the barber's hand, ,hich indeed ,as at first
very terrible to behold7 for the raEor ,as almost t,ice as long as
an ordinary scythe$ -is ma?esty, according to the c%stom of the
co%ntry, ,as only shaved t,ice aF,ee&$ 1 once 8revailed on the
barber to give me some of the s%ds or lather, o%t of ,hich 1 8ic&ed
forty or fifty of the strongest st%m8s of hair$ 1 then too& a
8iece of fine ,ood, and c%t it li&e the bac& of a comb, ma&ing
several holes in it at e9%al distances ,ith as small a needle as 1
co%ld get from Gl%mdalclitch$ 1 fixed in the st%m8s so
artificially, scra8ing and slo8ing them ,ith my &nife to,ard the
8oints, that 1 made a very tolerable comb7 ,hich ,as a seasonable
s%88ly, my o,n being so m%ch bro&en in the teeth, that it ,as
almost %selessA neither did 1 &no, any artist in that co%ntry so
nice and exact, as ,o%ld %nderta&e to ma&e me another$
3nd this 8%ts me in mind of an am%sement, ,herein 1 s8ent many of
my leis%re ho%rs$ 1 desired the 9%een's ,oman to save for me the
combings of her ma?esty's hair, ,hereof in time 1 got a good
9%antity7 and cons%lting ,ith my friend the cabinetFma&er, ,ho had
received general orders to do little ?obs for me, 1 directed him to
ma&e t,o chairFframes, no larger than those 1 had in my box, and to
bore little holes ,ith a fine a,l, ro%nd those 8arts ,here 1
designed the bac&s and seats7 thro%gh these holes 1 ,ove the
strongest hairs 1 co%ld 8ic& o%t, ?%st after the manner of cane
chairs in .ngland$ *hen they ,ere finished, 1 made a 8resent of
them to her ma?esty7 ,ho &e8t them in her cabinet, and %sed to sho,
them for c%riosities, as indeed they ,ere the ,onder of every one
that beheld them$ The 9%een ,o%ld have me sit %8on one of these
chairs, b%t 1 absol%tely ref%sed to obey her, 8rotesting 1 ,o%ld
rather die than 8lace a dishono%rable 8art of my body on those
8recio%s hairs, that once adorned her ma?esty's head$ 2f these
hairs Bas 1 had al,ays a mechanical geni%sC 1 li&e,ise made a neat
little 8%rse, abo%t five feet long, ,ith her ma?esty's name
deci8hered in gold letters, ,hich 1 gave to Gl%mdalclitch, by the
9%een's consent$ To say the tr%th, it ,as more for sho, than %se,
being not of strength to bear the ,eight of the larger coins, and
therefore she &e8t nothing in it b%t some little toys that girls
are fond of$
The &ing, ,ho delighted in m%sic, had fre9%ent concerts at co%rt,
to ,hich 1 ,as sometimes carried, and set in my box on a table to
hear themA b%t the noise ,as so great that 1 co%ld hardly
disting%ish the t%nes$ 1 am confident that all the dr%ms and
tr%m8ets of a royal army, beating and so%nding together ?%st at
yo%r ears, co%ld not e9%al it$ 6y 8ractice ,as to have my box
removed from the 8lace ,here the 8erformers sat, as far as 1 co%ld,
then to sh%t the doors and ,indo,s of it, and dra, the ,indo,
c%rtains7 after ,hich 1 fo%nd their m%sic not disagreeable$
1 had learned in my yo%th to 8lay a little %8on the s8inet$
Gl%mdalclitch &e8t one in her chamber, and a master attended t,ice
aF,ee& to teach herA 1 called it a s8inet, beca%se it some,hat
resembled that instr%ment, and ,as 8layed %8on in the same manner$
3 fancy came into my head, that 1 ,o%ld entertain the &ing and
9%een ,ith an .nglish t%ne %8on this instr%ment$ B%t this a88eared
extremely diffic%ltA for the s8inet ,as near sixty feet long, each
&ey being almost a foot ,ide, so that ,ith my arms extended 1 co%ld
not reach to above five &eys, and to 8ress them do,n re9%ired a
good smart stro&e ,ith my fist, ,hich ,o%ld be too great a labo%r,
and to no 8%r8ose$ The method 1 contrived ,as thisA 1 8re8ared
t,o ro%nd stic&s, abo%t the bigness of common c%dgels7 they ,ere
thic&er at one end than the other, and 1 covered the thic&er ends
,ith 8ieces of a mo%se's s&in, that by ra88ing on them 1 might
neither damage the to8s of the &eys nor interr%8t the so%nd$
Before the s8inet a bench ,as 8laced, abo%t fo%r feet belo, the
&eys, and 1 ,as 8%t %8on the bench$ 1 ran sideling %8on it, that
,ay and this, as fast as 1 co%ld, banging the 8ro8er &eys ,ith my
t,o stic&s, and made a shift to 8lay a ?ig, to the great
satisfaction of both their ma?esties7 b%t it ,as the most violent
exercise 1 ever %nder,ent7 and yet 1 co%ld not stri&e above sixteen
&eys, nor conse9%ently 8lay the bass and treble together, as other
artists do7 ,hich ,as a great disadvantage to my 8erformance$
The &ing, ,ho, as 1 before observed, ,as a 8rince of excellent
%nderstanding, ,o%ld fre9%ently order that 1 sho%ld be bro%ght in
my box, and set %8on the table in his closetA he ,o%ld then
command me to bring one of my chairs o%t of the box, and sit do,n
,ithin three yards distance %8on the to8 of the cabinet, ,hich
bro%ght me almost to a level ,ith his face$ 1n this manner 1 had
several conversations ,ith him$ 1 one day too& the freedom to tell
his ma?esty, >that the contem8t he discovered to,ards .%ro8e, and
the rest of the ,orld, did not seem ans,erable to those excellent
9%alities of mind that he ,as master of7 that reason did not extend
itself ,ith the b%l& of the body7 on the contrary, ,e observed in
o%r co%ntry, that the tallest 8ersons ,ere %s%ally the least
8rovided ,ith it7 that among other animals, bees and ants had the
re8%tation of more ind%stry, art, and sagacity, than many of the
larger &inds7 and that, as inconsiderable as he too& me to be, 1
ho8ed 1 might live to do his ma?esty some signal service$> The
&ing heard me ,ith attention, and began to conceive a m%ch better
o8inion of me than he had ever before$ -e desired >1 ,o%ld give
him as exact an acco%nt of the government of .ngland as 1 8ossibly
co%ld7 beca%se, as fond as 8rinces commonly are of their o,n
c%stoms Bfor so he con?ect%red of other monarchs, by my former
disco%rsesC, he sho%ld be glad to hear of any thing that might
deserve imitation$>
1magine ,ith thyself, co%rteo%s reader, ho, often 1 then ,ished for
the tong%e of Demosthenes or :icero, that might have enabled me to
celebrate the 8raise of my o,n dear native co%ntry in a style e9%al
to its merits and felicity$
1 began my disco%rse by informing his ma?esty, that o%r dominions
consisted of t,o islands, ,hich com8osed three mighty &ingdoms,
%nder one sovereign, beside o%r 8lantations in 3merica$ 1 d,elt
long %8on the fertility of o%r soil, and the tem8erat%re of o%r
climate$ 1 then s8o&e at large %8on the constit%tion of an .nglish
8arliament7 8artly made %8 of an ill%strio%s body called the -o%se
of Peers7 8ersons of the noblest blood, and of the most ancient and
am8le 8atrimonies$ 1 described that extraordinary care al,ays
ta&en of their ed%cation in arts and arms, to 9%alify them for
being co%nsellors both to the &ing and &ingdom7 to have a share in
the legislat%re7 to be members of the highest co%rt of ?%dicat%re,
,hence there can be no a88eal7 and to be cham8ions al,ays ready for
the defence of their 8rince and co%ntry, by their valo%r, cond%ct,
and fidelity$ That these ,ere the ornament and b%l,ar& of the
&ingdom, ,orthy follo,ers of their most reno,ned ancestors, ,hose
hono%r had been the re,ard of their virt%e, from ,hich their
8osterity ,ere never once &no,n to degenerate$ To these ,ere
?oined several holy 8ersons, as 8art of that assembly, %nder the
title of bisho8s, ,hose 8ec%liar b%siness is to ta&e care of
religion, and of those ,ho instr%ct the 8eo8le therein$ These ,ere
searched and so%ght o%t thro%gh the ,hole nation, by the 8rince and
his ,isest co%nsellors, among s%ch of the 8riesthood as ,ere most
deservedly disting%ished by the sanctity of their lives, and the
de8th of their er%dition7 ,ho ,ere indeed the s8irit%al fathers of
the clergy and the 8eo8le$
That the other 8art of the 8arliament consisted of an assembly
called the -o%se of :ommons, ,ho ,ere all 8rinci8al gentlemen,
freely 8ic&ed and c%lled o%t by the 8eo8le themselves, for their
great abilities and love of their co%ntry, to re8resent the ,isdom
of the ,hole nation$ 3nd that these t,o bodies made %8 the most
a%g%st assembly in .%ro8e7 to ,hom, in con?%nction ,ith the 8rince,
the ,hole legislat%re is committed$
1 then descended to the co%rts of ?%stice7 over ,hich the ?%dges,
those venerable sages and inter8reters of the la,, 8resided, for
determining the dis8%ted rights and 8ro8erties of men, as ,ell as
for the 8%nishment of vice and 8rotection of innocence$ 1
mentioned the 8r%dent management of o%r treas%ry7 the valo%r and
achievements of o%r forces, by sea and land$ 1 com8%ted the n%mber
of o%r 8eo8le, by rec&oning ho, many millions there might be of
each religio%s sect, or 8olitical 8arty among %s$ 1 did not omit
even o%r s8orts and 8astimes, or any other 8artic%lar ,hich 1
tho%ght might redo%nd to the hono%r of my co%ntry$ 3nd 1 finished
all ,ith a brief historical acco%nt of affairs and events in
.ngland for abo%t a h%ndred years 8ast$
This conversation ,as not ended %nder five a%diences, each of
several ho%rs7 and the &ing heard the ,hole ,ith great attention,
fre9%ently ta&ing notes of ,hat 1 s8o&e, as ,ell as memorand%ms of
,hat 9%estions he intended to as& me$
*hen 1 had 8%t an end to these long disco%rces, his ma?esty, in a
sixth a%dience, cons%lting his notes, 8ro8osed many do%bts,
9%eries, and ob?ections, %8on every article$ -e as&ed, >*hat
methods ,ere %sed to c%ltivate the minds and bodies of o%r yo%ng
nobility, and in ,hat &ind of b%siness they commonly s8ent the
first and teachable 8arts of their livesD *hat co%rse ,as ta&en to
s%88ly that assembly, ,hen any noble family became extinctD *hat
9%alifications ,ere necessary in those ,ho are to be created ne,
lordsA ,hether the h%mo%r of the 8rince, a s%m of money to a co%rt
lady, or a design of strengthening a 8arty o88osite to the 8%blic
interest, ever ha88ened to be the motive in those advancementsD
*hat share of &no,ledge these lords had in the la,s of their
co%ntry, and ho, they came by it, so as to enable them to decide
the 8ro8erties of their fello,Fs%b?ects in the last resortD
*hether they ,ere al,ays so free from avarice, 8artialities, or
,ant, that a bribe, or some other sinister vie,, co%ld have no
8lace among themD *hether those holy lords 1 s8o&e of ,ere al,ays
8romoted to that ran& %8on acco%nt of their &no,ledge in religio%s
matters, and the sanctity of their lives7 had never been com8liers
,ith the times, ,hile they ,ere common 8riests7 or slavish
8rostit%te cha8lains to some nobleman, ,hose o8inions they
contin%ed servilely to follo,, after they ,ere admitted into that
-e then desired to &no,, >*hat arts ,ere 8ractised in electing
those ,hom 1 called commonersA ,hether a stranger, ,ith a strong
8%rse, might not infl%ence the v%lgar voters to choose him before
their o,n landlord, or the most considerable gentleman in the
neighbo%rhoodD -o, it came to 8ass, that 8eo8le ,ere so violently
bent %8on getting into this assembly, ,hich 1 allo,ed to be a great
tro%ble and ex8ense, often to the r%in of their families, ,itho%t
any salary or 8ensionD beca%se this a88eared s%ch an exalted strain
of virt%e and 8%blic s8irit, that his ma?esty seemed to do%bt it
might 8ossibly not be al,ays sincere$> 3nd he desired to &no,,
>*hether s%ch Eealo%s gentlemen co%ld have any vie,s of ref%nding
themselves for the charges and tro%ble they ,ere at by sacrificing
the 8%blic good to the designs of a ,ea& and vicio%s 8rince, in
con?%nction ,ith a corr%8ted ministryD> -e m%lti8lied his
9%estions, and sifted me thoro%ghly %8on every 8art of this head,
8ro8osing n%mberless in9%iries and ob?ections, ,hich 1 thin& it not
8r%dent or convenient to re8eat$
/8on ,hat 1 said in relation to o%r co%rts of ?%stice, his ma?esty
desired to be satisfied in several 8ointsA and this 1 ,as the
better able to do, having been formerly almost r%ined by a long
s%it in chancery, ,hich ,as decreed for me ,ith costs$ -e as&ed,
>*hat time ,as %s%ally s8ent in determining bet,een right and
,rong, and ,hat degree of ex8enseD *hether advocates and orators
had liberty to 8lead in ca%ses manifestly &no,n to be %n?%st,
vexatio%s, or o88ressiveD *hether 8arty, in religion or 8olitics,
,ere observed to be of any ,eight in the scale of ?%sticeD *hether
those 8leading orators ,ere 8ersons ed%cated in the general
&no,ledge of e9%ity, or only in 8rovincial, national, and other
local c%stomsD *hether they or their ?%dges had any 8art in
8enning those la,s, ,hich they ass%med the liberty of inter8reting,
and glossing %8on at their 8leas%reD *hether they had ever, at
different times, 8leaded for and against the same ca%se, and cited
8recedents to 8rove contrary o8inionsD *hether they ,ere a rich or
a 8oor cor8orationD *hether they received any 8ec%niary re,ard for
8leading, or delivering their o8inionsD 3nd 8artic%larly, ,hether
they ,ere ever admitted as members in the lo,er senateD>
-e fell next %8on the management of o%r treas%ry7 and said, >he
tho%ght my memory had failed me, beca%se 1 com8%ted o%r taxes at
abo%t five or six millions aFyear, and ,hen 1 came to mention the
iss%es, he fo%nd they sometimes amo%nted to more than do%ble7 for
the notes he had ta&en ,ere very 8artic%lar in this 8oint, beca%se
he ho8ed, as he told me, that the &no,ledge of o%r cond%ct might be
%sef%l to him, and he co%ld not be deceived in his calc%lations$
B%t, if ,hat 1 told him ,ere tr%e, he ,as still at a loss ho, a
&ingdom co%ld r%n o%t of its estate, li&e a 8rivate 8erson$> -e
as&ed me, >,ho ,ere o%r creditors7 and ,here ,e fo%nd money to 8ay
themD> -e ,ondered to hear me tal& of s%ch chargeable and
ex8ensive ,ars7 >that certainly ,e m%st be a 9%arrelsome 8eo8le, or
live among very bad neighbo%rs, and that o%r generals m%st needs be
richer than o%r &ings$> -e as&ed, ,hat b%siness ,e had o%t of o%r
o,n islands, %nless %8on the score of trade, or treaty, or to
defend the coasts ,ith o%r fleetD> 3bove all, he ,as amaEed to
hear me tal& of a mercenary standing army, in the midst of 8eace,
and among a free 8eo8le$ -e said, >if ,e ,ere governed by o%r o,n
consent, in the 8ersons of o%r re8resentatives, he co%ld not
imagine of ,hom ,e ,ere afraid, or against ,hom ,e ,ere to fight7
and ,o%ld hear my o8inion, ,hether a 8rivate man's ho%se might not
be better defended by himself, his children, and family, than by
halfFaFdoEen rascals, 8ic&ed %8 at a vent%re in the streets for
small ,ages, ,ho might get a h%ndred times more by c%tting their
-e la%ghed at my >odd &ind of arithmetic,> as he ,as 8leased to
call it, >in rec&oning the n%mbers of o%r 8eo8le, by a com8%tation
dra,n from the several sects among %s, in religion and 8olitics$>
-e said, >he &ne, no reason ,hy those, ,ho entertain o8inions
8re?%dicial to the 8%blic, sho%ld be obliged to change, or sho%ld
not be obliged to conceal them$ 3nd as it ,as tyranny in any
government to re9%ire the first, so it ,as ,ea&ness not to enforce
the secondA for a man may be allo,ed to &ee8 8oisons in his
closet, b%t not to vend them abo%t for cordials$>
-e observed, >that among the diversions of o%r nobility and gentry,
1 had mentioned gamingA he desired to &no, at ,hat age this
entertainment ,as %s%ally ta&en %8, and ,hen it ,as laid do,n7 ho,
m%ch of their time it em8loyed7 ,hether it ever ,ent so high as to
affect their fort%nes7 ,hether mean, vicio%s 8eo8le, by their
dexterity in that art, might not arrive at great riches, and
sometimes &ee8 o%r very nobles in de8endence, as ,ell as habit%ate
them to vile com8anions, ,holly ta&e them from the im8rovement of
their minds, and force them, by the losses they received, to learn
and 8ractise that infamo%s dexterity %8on othersD>
-e ,as 8erfectly astonished ,ith the historical acco%nt gave him of
o%r affairs d%ring the last cent%ry7 8rotesting >it ,as only a hea8
of cons8iracies, rebellions, m%rders, massacres, revol%tions,
banishments, the very ,orst effects that avarice, faction,
hy8ocrisy, 8erfidio%sness, cr%elty, rage, madness, hatred, envy,
l%st, malice, and ambition, co%ld 8rod%ce$>
-is ma?esty, in another a%dience, ,as at the 8ains to reca8it%late
the s%m of all 1 had s8o&en7 com8ared the 9%estions he made ,ith
the ans,ers 1 had given7 then ta&ing me into his hands, and
stro&ing me gently, delivered himself in these ,ords, ,hich 1 shall
never forget, nor the manner he s8o&e them inA >6y little friend
Grildrig, yo% have made a most admirable 8anegyric %8on yo%r
co%ntry7 yo% have clearly 8roved, that ignorance, idleness, and
vice, are the 8ro8er ingredients for 9%alifying a legislator7 that
la,s are best ex8lained, inter8reted, and a88lied, by those ,hose
interest and abilities lie in 8erverting, confo%nding, and el%ding
them$ 1 observe among yo% some lines of an instit%tion, ,hich, in
its original, might have been tolerable, b%t these half erased, and
the rest ,holly bl%rred and blotted by corr%8tions$ 1t does not
a88ear, from all yo% have said, ho, any one 8erfection is re9%ired
to,ard the 8roc%rement of any one station among yo%7 m%ch less,
that men are ennobled on acco%nt of their virt%e7 that 8riests are
advanced for their 8iety or learning7 soldiers, for their cond%ct
or valo%r7 ?%dges, for their integrity7 senators, for the love of
their co%ntry7 or co%nsellors for their ,isdom$ 3s for yo%rself,>
contin%ed the &ing, >,ho have s8ent the greatest 8art of yo%r life
in travelling, 1 am ,ell dis8osed to ho8e yo% may hitherto have
esca8ed many vices of yo%r co%ntry$ B%t by ,hat 1 have gathered
from yo%r o,n relation, and the ans,ers 1 have ,ith m%ch 8ains
,r%ng and extorted from yo%, 1 cannot b%t concl%de the b%l& of yo%r
natives to be the most 8ernicio%s race of little odio%s vermin that
nat%re ever s%ffered to cra,l %8on the s%rface of the earth$>
:-3PT.( =11$
4The a%thor's love of his co%ntry$ -e ma&es a 8ro8osal of m%ch
advantage to the &ing, ,hich is re?ected$ The &ing's great
ignorance in 8olitics$ The learning of that co%ntry very im8erfect
and confined$ The la,s, and military affairs, and 8arties in the
)othing b%t an extreme love of tr%th co%ld have hindered me from
concealing this 8art of my story$ 1t ,as in vain to discover my
resentments, ,hich ,ere al,ays t%rned into ridic%le7 and 1 ,as
forced to rest ,ith 8atience, ,hile my noble and beloved co%ntry
,as so in?%rio%sly treated$ 1 am as heartily sorry as any of my
readers can 8ossibly be, that s%ch an occasion ,as givenA b%t this
8rince ha88ened to be so c%rio%s and in9%isitive %8on every
8artic%lar, that it co%ld not consist either ,ith gratit%de or good
manners, to ref%se giving him ,hat satisfaction 1 ,as able$ ;et
th%s m%ch 1 may be allo,ed to say in my o,n vindication, that 1
artf%lly el%ded many of his 9%estions, and gave to every 8oint a
more favo%rable t%rn, by many degrees, than the strictness of tr%th
,o%ld allo,$ <or 1 have al,ays borne that la%dable 8artiality to
my o,n co%ntry, ,hich Dionysi%s -alicarnassensis, ,ith so m%ch
?%stice, recommends to an historianA 1 ,o%ld hide the frailties
and deformities of my 8olitical mother, and 8lace her virt%es and
bea%ties in the most advantageo%s light$ This ,as my sincere
endeavo%r in those many disco%rses 1 had ,ith that monarch,
altho%gh it %nfort%nately failed of s%ccess$
B%t great allo,ances sho%ld be given to a &ing, ,ho lives ,holly
secl%ded from the rest of the ,orld, and m%st therefore be
altogether %nac9%ainted ,ith the manners and c%stoms that most
8revail in other nationsA the ,ant of ,hich &no,ledge ,ill ever
8rod%ce many 8re?%dices, and a certain narro,ness of thin&ing, from
,hich ,e, and the 8oliter co%ntries of .%ro8e, are ,holly exem8ted$
3nd it ,o%ld be hard indeed, if so remote a 8rince's notions of
virt%e and vice ,ere to be offered as a standard for all man&ind$
To confirm ,hat 1 have no, said, and f%rther to sho, the miserable
effects of a confined ed%cation, 1 shall here insert a 8assage,
,hich ,ill hardly obtain belief$ 1n ho8es to ingratiate myself
f%rther into his ma?esty's favo%r, 1 told him of >an invention,
discovered bet,een three and fo%r h%ndred years ago, to ma&e a
certain 8o,der, into a hea8 of ,hich, the smallest s8ar& of fire
falling, ,o%ld &indle the ,hole in a moment, altho%gh it ,ere as
big as a mo%ntain, and ma&e it all fly %8 in the air together, ,ith
a noise and agitation greater than th%nder$ That a 8ro8er 9%antity
of this 8o,der rammed into a hollo, t%be of brass or iron,
according to its bigness, ,o%ld drive a ball of iron or lead, ,ith
s%ch violence and s8eed, as nothing ,as able to s%stain its force$
That the largest balls th%s discharged, ,o%ld not only destroy
,hole ran&s of an army at once, b%t batter the strongest ,alls to
the gro%nd, sin& do,n shi8s, ,ith a tho%sand men in each, to the
bottom of the sea, and ,hen lin&ed together by a chain, ,o%ld c%t
thro%gh masts and rigging, divide h%ndreds of bodies in the middle,
and lay all ,aste before them$ That ,e often 8%t this 8o,der into
large hollo, balls of iron, and discharged them by an engine into
some city ,e ,ere besieging, ,hich ,o%ld ri8 %8 the 8avements, tear
the ho%ses to 8ieces, b%rst and thro, s8linters on every side,
dashing o%t the brains of all ,ho came near$ That 1 &ne, the
ingredients very ,ell, ,hich ,ere chea8 and common7 1 %nderstood
the manner of com8o%nding them, and co%ld direct his ,or&men ho, to
ma&e those t%bes, of a siEe 8ro8ortionable to all other things in
his ma?esty's &ingdom, and the largest need not be above a h%ndred
feet long7 t,enty or thirty of ,hich t%bes, charged ,ith the 8ro8er
9%antity of 8o,der and balls, ,o%ld batter do,n the ,alls of the
strongest to,n in his dominions in a fe, ho%rs, or destroy the
,hole metro8olis, if ever it sho%ld 8retend to dis8%te his absol%te
commands$> This 1 h%mbly offered to his ma?esty, as a small
trib%te of ac&no,ledgment, in t%rn for so many mar&s that 1 had
received, of his royal favo%r and 8rotection$
The &ing ,as str%c& ,ith horror at the descri8tion 1 had given of
those terrible engines, and the 8ro8osal 1 had made$ >-e ,as
amaEed, ho, so im8otent and grovelling an insect as 1> Bthese ,ere
his ex8ressionsC >co%ld entertain s%ch inh%man ideas, and in so
familiar a manner, as to a88ear ,holly %nmoved at all the scenes of
blood and desolation ,hich 1 had 8ainted as the common effects of
those destr%ctive machines7 ,hereof,> he said, >some evil geni%s,
enemy to man&ind, m%st have been the first contriver$ 3s for
himself, he 8rotested, that altho%gh fe, things delighted him so
m%ch as ne, discoveries in art or in nat%re, yet he ,o%ld rather
lose half his &ingdom, than be 8rivy to s%ch a secret7 ,hich he
commanded me, as 1 val%ed any life, never to mention any more$>
3 strange effect of narro, 8rinci8les and vie,sM that a 8rince
8ossessed of every 9%ality ,hich 8roc%res veneration, love, and
esteem7 of strong 8arts, great ,isdom, and 8rofo%nd learning,
endo,ed ,ith admirable talents, and almost adored by his s%b?ects,
sho%ld, from a nice, %nnecessary scr%8le, ,hereof in .%ro8e ,e can
have no conce8tion, let sli8 an o88ort%nity 8%t into his hands that
,o%ld have made him absol%te master of the lives, the liberties,
and the fort%nes of his 8eo8leM )either do 1 say this, ,ith the
least intention to detract from the many virt%es of that excellent
&ing, ,hose character, 1 am sensible, ,ill, on this acco%nt, be
very m%ch lessened in the o8inion of an .nglish readerA b%t 1 ta&e
this defect among them to have risen from their ignorance, by not
having hitherto red%ced 8olitics into a science, as the more ac%te
,its of .%ro8e have done$ <or, 1 remember very ,ell, in a
disco%rse one day ,ith the &ing, ,hen 1 ha88ened to say, >there
,ere several tho%sand boo&s among %s ,ritten %8on the art of
government,> it gave him Bdirectly contrary to my intentionC a very
mean o8inion of o%r %nderstandings$ -e 8rofessed both to abominate
and des8ise all mystery, refinement, and intrig%e, either in a
8rince or a minister$ -e co%ld not tell ,hat 1 meant by secrets of
state, ,here an enemy, or some rival nation, ,ere not in the case$
-e confined the &no,ledge of governing ,ithin very narro, bo%nds,
to common sense and reason, to ?%stice and lenity, to the s8eedy
determination of civil and criminal ca%ses7 ,ith some other obvio%s
to8ics, ,hich are not ,orth considering$ 3nd he gave it for his
o8inion, >that ,hoever co%ld ma&e t,o ears of corn, or t,o blades
of grass, to gro, %8on a s8ot of gro%nd ,here only one gre, before,
,o%ld deserve better of man&ind, and do more essential service to
his co%ntry, than the ,hole race of 8oliticians 8%t together$>
The learning of this 8eo8le is very defective, consisting only in
morality, history, 8oetry, and mathematics, ,herein they m%st be
allo,ed to excel$ B%t the last of these is ,holly a88lied to ,hat
may be %sef%l in life, to the im8rovement of agric%lt%re, and all
mechanical arts7 so that among %s, it ,o%ld be little esteemed$
3nd as to ideas, entities, abstractions, and transcendentals, 1
co%ld never drive the least conce8tion into their heads$
)o la, in that co%ntry m%st exceed in ,ords the n%mber of letters
in their al8habet, ,hich consists only of t,o and t,enty$ B%t
indeed fe, of them extend even to that length$ They are ex8ressed
in the most 8lain and sim8le terms, ,herein those 8eo8le are not
merc%rial eno%gh to discover above one inter8retationA and to
,rite a comment %8on any la,, is a ca8ital crime$ 3s to the
decision of civil ca%ses, or 8roceedings against criminals, their
8recedents are so fe,, that they have little reason to boast of any
extraordinary s&ill in either$
They have had the art of 8rinting, as ,ell as the :hinese, time o%t
of mindA b%t their libraries are not very large7 for that of the
&ing, ,hich is rec&oned the largest, does not amo%nt to above a
tho%sand vol%mes, 8laced in a gallery of t,elve h%ndred feet long,
,hence 1 had liberty to borro, ,hat boo&s 1 8leased$ The 9%een's
?oiner had contrived in one of Gl%mdalclitch's rooms, a &ind of
,ooden machine fiveFandFt,enty feet high, formed li&e a standing
ladder7 the ste8s ,ere each fifty feet long$ 1t ,as indeed a
moveable 8air of stairs, the lo,est end 8laced at ten feet distance
from the ,all of the chamber$ The boo& 1 had a mind to read, ,as
8%t %8 leaning against the ,allA 1 first mo%nted to the %88er ste8
of the ladder, and t%rning my face to,ards the boo&, began at the
to8 of the 8age, and so ,al&ing to the right and left abo%t eight
or ten 8aces, according to the length of the lines, till 1 had
gotten a little belo, the level of mine eyes, and then descending
grad%ally till 1 came to the bottomA after ,hich 1 mo%nted again,
and began the other 8age in the same manner, and so t%rned over the
leaf, ,hich 1 co%ld easily do ,ith both my hands, for it ,as as
thic& and stiff as a 8asteboard, and in the largest folios not
above eighteen or t,enty feet long$
Their style is clear, masc%line, and smooth, b%t not florid7 for
they avoid nothing more than m%lti8lying %nnecessary ,ords, or
%sing vario%s ex8ressions$ 1 have 8er%sed many of their boo&s,
es8ecially those in history and morality$ 3mong the rest, 1 ,as
m%ch diverted ,ith a little old treatise, ,hich al,ays lay in
Gl%mdalclitch's bed chamber, and belonged to her governess, a grave
elderly gentle,oman, ,ho dealt in ,ritings of morality and
devotion$ The boo& treats of the ,ea&ness of h%man &ind, and is in
little esteem, exce8t among the ,omen and the v%lgar$ -o,ever, 1
,as c%rio%s to see ,hat an a%thor of that co%ntry co%ld say %8on
s%ch a s%b?ect$ This ,riter ,ent thro%gh all the %s%al to8ics of
.%ro8ean moralists, sho,ing >ho, dimin%tive, contem8tible, and
hel8less an animal ,as man in his o,n nat%re7 ho, %nable to defend
himself from inclemencies of the air, or the f%ry of ,ild beastsA
ho, m%ch he ,as excelled by one creat%re in strength, by another in
s8eed, by a third in foresight, by a fo%rth in ind%stry$> -e
added, >that nat%re ,as degenerated in these latter declining ages
of the ,orld, and co%ld no, 8rod%ce only small abortive births, in
com8arison of those in ancient times$> -e said >it ,as very
reasonable to thin&, not only that the s8ecies of men ,ere
originally m%ch larger, b%t also that there m%st have been giants
in former ages7 ,hich, as it is asserted by history and tradition,
so it has been confirmed by h%ge bones and s&%lls, cas%ally d%g %8
in several 8arts of the &ingdom, far exceeding the common d,indled
race of men in o%r days$> -e arg%ed, >that the very la,s of nat%re
absol%tely re9%ired ,e sho%ld have been made, in the beginning of a
siEe more large and rob%st7 not so liable to destr%ction from every
little accident, of a tile falling from a ho%se, or a stone cast
from the hand of a boy, or being dro,ned in a little broo&$> <rom
this ,ay of reasoning, the a%thor dre, several moral a88lications,
%sef%l in the cond%ct of life, b%t needless here to re8eat$ <or my
o,n 8art, 1 co%ld not avoid reflecting ho, %niversally this talent
,as s8read, of dra,ing lect%res in morality, or indeed rather
matter of discontent and re8ining, from the 9%arrels ,e raise ,ith
nat%re$ 3nd 1 believe, %8on a strict in9%iry, those 9%arrels might
be sho,n as illFgro%nded among %s as they are among that 8eo8le$
3s to their military affairs, they boast that the &ing's army
consists of a h%ndred and seventyFsix tho%sand foot, and thirtyFt,o
tho%sand horseA if that may be called an army, ,hich is made %8 of
tradesmen in the several cities, and farmers in the co%ntry, ,hose
commanders are only the nobility and gentry, ,itho%t 8ay or re,ard$
They are indeed 8erfect eno%gh in their exercises, and %nder very
good disci8line, ,herein 1 sa, no great merit7 for ho, sho%ld it be
other,ise, ,here every farmer is %nder the command of his o,n
landlord, and every citiEen %nder that of the 8rinci8al men in his
o,n city, chosen after the manner of =enice, by ballotD
1 have often seen the militia of 0orbr%lgr%d dra,n o%t to exercise,
in a great field near the city of t,enty miles s9%are$ They ,ere
in all not above t,entyFfive tho%sand foot, and six tho%sand horse7
b%t it ,as im8ossible for me to com8%te their n%mber, considering
the s8ace of gro%nd they too& %8$ 3 cavalier, mo%nted on a large
steed, might be abo%t ninety feet high$ 1 have seen this ,hole
body of horse, %8on a ,ord of command, dra, their s,ords at once,
and brandish them in the air$ 1magination can fig%re nothing so
grand, so s%r8rising, and so astonishingM it loo&ed as if ten
tho%sand flashes of lightning ,ere darting at the same time from
every 9%arter of the s&y$
1 ,as c%rio%s to &no, ho, this 8rince, to ,hose dominions there is
no access from any other co%ntry, came to thin& of armies, or to
teach his 8eo8le the 8ractice of military disci8line$ B%t 1 ,as
soon informed, both by conversation and reading their histories7
for, in the co%rse of many ages, they have been tro%bled ,ith the
same disease to ,hich the ,hole race of man&ind is s%b?ect7 the
nobility often contending for 8o,er, the 8eo8le for liberty, and
the &ing for absol%te dominion$ 3ll ,hich, ho,ever ha88ily
tem8ered by the la,s of that &ingdom, have been sometimes violated
by each of the three 8arties, and have more than once occasioned
civil ,ars7 the last ,hereof ,as ha88ily 8%t an end to by this
8rince's grandFfather, in a general com8osition7 and the militia,
then settled ,ith common consent, has been ever since &e8t in the
strictest d%ty$
:-3PT.( =111$
4The &ing and 9%een ma&e a 8rogress to the frontiers$ The a%thor
attends them$ The manner in ,hich he leaves the co%ntry very
8artic%larly related$ -e ret%rns to .ngland$5
1 had al,ays a strong im8%lse that 1 sho%ld some time recover my
liberty, tho%gh it ,as im8ossible to con?ect%re by ,hat means, or
to form any 8ro?ect ,ith the least ho8e of s%cceeding$ The shi8 in
,hich 1 sailed, ,as the first ever &no,n to be driven ,ithin sight
of that coast, and the &ing had given strict orders, that if at any
time another a88eared, it sho%ld be ta&en ashore, and ,ith all its
cre, and 8assengers bro%ght in a t%mbril to 0orbr%lgr%d$ -e ,as
strongly bent to get me a ,oman of my o,n siEe, by ,hom 1 might
8ro8agate the breedA b%t 1 thin& 1 sho%ld rather have died than
%ndergone the disgrace of leaving a 8osterity to be &e8t in cages,
li&e tame canaryFbirds, and 8erha8s, in time, sold abo%t the
&ingdom, to 8ersons of 9%ality, for c%riosities$ 1 ,as indeed
treated ,ith m%ch &indnessA 1 ,as the favo%rite of a great &ing
and 9%een, and the delight of the ,hole co%rt7 b%t it ,as %8on s%ch
a foot as ill became the dignity of h%man&ind$ 1 co%ld never
forget those domestic 8ledges 1 had left behind me$ 1 ,anted to be
among 8eo8le, ,ith ,hom 1 co%ld converse %8on even terms, and ,al&
abo%t the streets and fields ,itho%t being afraid of being trod to
death li&e a frog or a yo%ng 8%88y$ B%t my deliverance came sooner
than 1 ex8ected, and in a manner not very common7 the ,hole story
and circ%mstances of ,hich 1 shall faithf%lly relate$
1 had no, been t,o years in this co%ntry7 and abo%t the beginning
of the third, Gl%mdalclitch and 1 attended the &ing and 9%een, in a
8rogress to the so%th coast of the &ingdom$ 1 ,as carried, as
%s%al, in my travellingFbox, ,hich as 1 have already described, ,as
a very convenient closet, of t,elve feet ,ide$ 3nd 1 had ordered a
hammoc& to be fixed, by sil&en ro8es from the fo%r corners at the
to8, to brea& the ?olts, ,hen a servant carried me before him on
horsebac&, as 1 sometimes desired7 and ,o%ld often slee8 in my
hammoc&, ,hile ,e ,ere %8on the road$ 2n the roof of my closet,
not directly over the middle of the hammoc&, 1 ordered the ?oiner
to c%t o%t a hole of a foot s9%are, to give me air in hot ,eather,
as 1 sle8t7 ,hich hole 1 sh%t at 8leas%re ,ith a board that dre,
bac&,ard and for,ard thro%gh a groove$
*hen ,e came to o%r ?o%rney's end, the &ing tho%ght 8ro8er to 8ass
a fe, days at a 8alace he has near <lanflasnic, a city ,ithin
eighteen .nglish miles of the seaside$ Gl%mdalclitch and 1 ,ere
m%ch fatig%edA 1 had gotten a small cold, b%t the 8oor girl ,as so
ill as to be confined to her chamber$ 1 longed to see the ocean,
,hich m%st be the only scene of my esca8e, if ever it sho%ld
ha88en$ 1 8retended to be ,orse than 1 really ,as, and desired
leave to ta&e the fresh air of the sea, ,ith a 8age, ,hom 1 ,as
very fond of, and ,ho had sometimes been tr%sted ,ith me$ 1 shall
never forget ,ith ,hat %n,illingness Gl%mdalclitch consented, nor
the strict charge she gave the 8age to be caref%l of me, b%rsting
at the same time into a flood of tears, as if she had some
forboding of ,hat ,as to ha88en$ The boy too& me o%t in my box,
abo%t half an ho%rs ,al& from the 8alace, to,ards the roc&s on the
seaFshore$ 1 ordered him to set me do,n, and lifting %8 one of my
sashes, cast many a ,istf%l melancholy loo& to,ards the sea$ 1
fo%nd myself not very ,ell, and told the 8age that 1 had a mind to
ta&e a na8 in my hammoc&, ,hich 1 ho8ed ,o%ld do me good$ 1 got
in, and the boy sh%t the ,indo, close do,n, to &ee8 o%t the cold$
1 soon fell aslee8, and all 1 can con?ect%re is, ,hile 1 sle8t, the
8age, thin&ing no danger co%ld ha88en, ,ent among the roc&s to loo&
for birds' eggs, having before observed him from my ,indo,
searching abo%t, and 8ic&ing %8 one or t,o in the clefts$ Be that
as it ,ill, 1 fo%nd myself s%ddenly a,a&ed ,ith a violent 8%ll %8on
the ring, ,hich ,as fastened at the to8 of my box for the
conveniency of carriage$ 1 felt my box raised very high in the
air, and then borne for,ard ,ith 8rodigio%s s8eed$ The first ?olt
had li&e to have sha&en me o%t of my hammoc&, b%t after,ard the
motion ,as easy eno%gh$ 1 called o%t several times, as lo%d as 1
co%ld raise my voice, b%t all to no 8%r8ose$ 1 loo&ed to,ards my
,indo,s, and co%ld see nothing b%t the clo%ds and s&y$ 1 heard a
noise ?%st over my head, li&e the cla88ing of ,ings, and then began
to 8erceive the ,of%l condition 1 ,as in7 that some eagle had got
the ring of my box in his bea&, ,ith an intent to let it fall on a
roc&, li&e a tortoise in a shell, and then 8ic& o%t my body, and
devo%r itA for the sagacity and smell of this bird enables him to
discover his 9%arry at a great distance, tho%gh better concealed
than 1 co%ld be ,ithin a t,oFinch board$
1n a little time, 1 observed the noise and fl%tter of ,ings to
increase very fast, and my box ,as tossed %8 and do,n, li&e a sign
in a ,indy day$ 1 heard several bangs or b%ffets, as 1 tho%ght
given to the eagle Bfor s%ch 1 am certain it m%st have been that
held the ring of my box in his bea&C, and then, all on a s%dden,
felt myself falling 8er8endic%larly do,n, for above a min%te, b%t
,ith s%ch incredible s,iftness, that 1 almost lost my breath$ 6y
fall ,as sto88ed by a terrible s9%ash, that so%nded lo%der to my
ears than the cataract of )iagara7 after ,hich, 1 ,as 9%ite in the
dar& for another min%te, and then my box began to rise so high,
that 1 co%ld see light from the to8s of the ,indo,s$ 1 no,
8erceived 1 ,as fallen into the sea$ 6y box, by the ,eight of my
body, the goods that ,ere in, and the broad 8lates of iron fixed
for strength at the fo%r corners of the to8 and bottom, floated
abo%t five feet dee8 in ,ater$ 1 did then, and do no, s%88ose,
that the eagle ,hich fle, a,ay ,ith my box ,as 8%rs%ed by t,o or
three others, and forced to let me dro8, ,hile he defended himself
against the rest, ,ho ho8ed to share in the 8rey$ The 8lates of
iron fastened at the bottom of the box Bfor those ,ere the
strongestC 8reserved the balance ,hile it fell, and hindered it
from being bro&en on the s%rface of the ,ater$ .very ?oint of it
,as ,ell grooved7 and the door did not move on hinges, b%t %8 and
do,n li&e a sash, ,hich &e8t my closet so tight that very little
,ater came in$ 1 got ,ith m%ch diffic%lty o%t of my hammoc&,
having first vent%red to dra, bac& the sli8Fboard on the roof
already mentioned, contrived on 8%r8ose to let in air, for ,ant of
,hich 1 fo%nd myself almost stifled$
-o, often did 1 then ,ish myself ,ith my dear Gl%mdalclitch, from
,hom one single ho%r had so far divided meM 3nd 1 may say ,ith
tr%th, that in the midst of my o,n misfort%nes 1 co%ld not forbear
lamenting my 8oor n%rse, the grief she ,o%ld s%ffer for my loss,
the dis8leas%re of the 9%een, and the r%in of her fort%ne$ Perha8s
many travellers have not been %nder greater diffic%lties and
distress than 1 ,as at this ?%nct%re, ex8ecting every moment to see
my box dashed to 8ieces, or at least overset by the first violent
blast, or rising ,ave$ 3 breach in one single 8ane of glass ,o%ld
have been immediate deathA nor co%ld any thing have 8reserved the
,indo,s, b%t the strong lattice ,ires 8laced on the o%tside,
against accidents in travelling$ 1 sa, the ,ater ooEe in at
several crannies, altho%gh the lea&s ,ere not considerable, and 1
endeavo%red to sto8 them as ,ell as 1 co%ld$ 1 ,as not able to
lift %8 the roof of my closet, ,hich other,ise 1 certainly sho%ld
have done, and sat on the to8 of it7 ,here 1 might at least
8reserve myself some ho%rs longer, than by being sh%t %8 Bas 1 may
call itC in the hold$ 2r if 1 esca8ed these dangers for a day or
t,o, ,hat co%ld 1 ex8ect b%t a miserable death of cold and h%ngerD
1 ,as fo%r ho%rs %nder these circ%mstances, ex8ecting, and indeed
,ishing, every moment to be my last$
1 have already told the reader that there ,ere t,o strong sta8les
fixed %8on that side of my box ,hich had no ,indo,, and into ,hich
the servant, ,ho %sed to carry me on horsebac&, ,o%ld 8%t a
leathern belt, and b%c&le it abo%t his ,aist$ Being in this
disconsolate state, 1 heard, or at least tho%ght 1 heard, some &ind
of grating noise on that side of my box ,here the sta8les ,ere
fixed7 and soon after 1 began to fancy that the box ,as 8%lled or
to,ed along the sea7 for 1 no, and then felt a sort of t%gging,
,hich made the ,aves rise near the to8s of my ,indo,s, leaving me
almost in the dar&$ This gave me some faint ho8es of relief,
altho%gh 1 ,as not able to imagine ho, it co%ld be bro%ght abo%t$
1 vent%red to %nscre, one of my chairs, ,hich ,ere al,ays fastened
to the floor7 and having made a hard shift to scre, it do,n again,
directly %nder the sli88ingFboard that 1 had lately o8ened, 1
mo%nted on the chair, and 8%tting my mo%th as near as 1 co%ld to
the hole, 1 called for hel8 in a lo%d voice, and in all the
lang%ages 1 %nderstood$ 1 then fastened my hand&erchief to a stic&
1 %s%ally carried, and thr%sting it %8 the hole, ,aved it several
times in the air, that if any boat or shi8 ,ere near, the seamen
might con?ect%re some %nha88y mortal to be sh%t %8 in the box$
1 fo%nd no effect from all 1 co%ld do, b%t 8lainly 8erceived my
closet to be moved along7 and in the s8ace of an ho%r, or better,
that side of the box ,here the sta8les ,ere, and had no ,indo,s,
str%c& against something that ,as hard$ 1 a88rehended it to be a
roc&, and fo%nd myself tossed more than ever$ 1 8lainly heard a
noise %8on the cover of my closet, li&e that of a cable, and the
grating of it as it 8assed thro%gh the ring$ 1 then fo%nd myself
hoisted %8, by degrees, at least three feet higher than 1 ,as
before$ *here%8on 1 again thr%st %8 my stic& and hand&erchief,
calling for hel8 till 1 ,as almost hoarse$ 1n ret%rn to ,hich, 1
heard a great sho%t re8eated three times, giving me s%ch trans8orts
of ?oy as are not to be conceived b%t by those ,ho feel them$ 1
no, heard a tram8ling over my head, and somebody calling thro%gh
the hole ,ith a lo%d voice, in the .nglish tong%e, >1f there be any
body belo,, let them s8ea&$> 1 ans,ered, >1 ,as an .nglishman,
dra,n by ill fort%ne into the greatest calamity that ever any
creat%re %nder,ent, and begged, by all that ,as moving, to be
delivered o%t of the d%ngeon 1 ,as in$> The voice re8lied, >1 ,as
safe, for my box ,as fastened to their shi87 and the car8enter
sho%ld immediately come and sa, a hole in the cover, large eno%gh
to 8%ll me o%t$> 1 ans,ered, >that ,as needless, and ,o%ld ta&e %8
too m%ch time7 for there ,as no more to be done, b%t let one of the
cre, 8%t his finger into the ring, and ta&e the box o%t of the sea
into the shi8, and so into the ca8tain's cabin$> Some of them,
%8on hearing me tal& so ,ildly, tho%ght 1 ,as madA others la%ghed7
for indeed it never came into my head, that 1 ,as no, got among
8eo8le of my o,n stat%re and strength$ The car8enter came, and in
a fe, min%tes sa,ed a 8assage abo%t fo%r feet s9%are, then let do,n
a small ladder, %8on ,hich 1 mo%nted, and thence ,as ta&en into the
shi8 in a very ,ea& condition$
The sailors ,ere all in amaEement, and as&ed me a tho%sand
9%estions, ,hich 1 had no inclination to ans,er$ 1 ,as e9%ally
confo%nded at the sight of so many 8igmies, for s%ch 1 too& them to
be, after having so long acc%stomed mine eyes to the monstro%s
ob?ects 1 had left$ B%t the ca8tain, 6r$ Thomas *ilcoc&s, an
honest ,orthy Shro8shire man, observing 1 ,as ready to faint, too&
me into his cabin, gave me a cordial to comfort me, and made me
t%rn in %8on his o,n bed, advising me to ta&e a little rest, of
,hich 1 had great need$ Before 1 ,ent to slee8, 1 gave him to
%nderstand that 1 had some val%able f%rnit%re in my box, too good
to be lostA a fine hammoc&, a handsome fieldFbed, t,o chairs, a
table, and a cabinet7 that my closet ,as h%ng on all sides, or
rather 9%ilted, ,ith sil& and cotton7 that if he ,o%ld let one of
the cre, bring my closet into his cabin, 1 ,o%ld o8en it there
before him, and sho, him my goods$ The ca8tain, hearing me %tter
these abs%rdities, concl%ded 1 ,as raving7 ho,ever B1 s%88ose to
8acify meC he 8romised to give order as 1 desired, and going %8on
dec&, sent some of his men do,n into my closet, ,hence Bas 1
after,ards fo%ndC they dre, %8 all my goods, and stri88ed off the
9%ilting7 b%t the chairs, cabinet, and bedstead, being scre,ed to
the floor, ,ere m%ch damaged by the ignorance of the seamen, ,ho
tore them %8 by force$ Then they &noc&ed off some of the boards
for the %se of the shi8, and ,hen they had got all they had a mind
for, let the h%ll dro8 into the sea, ,hich by reason of many
breaches made in the bottom and sides, s%n& to rights$ 3nd,
indeed, 1 ,as glad not to have been a s8ectator of the havoc they
made, beca%se 1 am confident it ,o%ld have sensibly to%ched me, by
bringing former 8assages into my mind, ,hich 1 ,o%ld rather have
1 sle8t some ho%rs, b%t 8er8et%ally dist%rbed ,ith dreams of the
8lace 1 had left, and the dangers 1 had esca8ed$ -o,ever, %8on
,a&ing, 1 fo%nd myself m%ch recovered$ 1t ,as no, abo%t eight
o'cloc& at night, and the ca8tain ordered s%88er immediately,
thin&ing 1 had already fasted too long$ -e entertained me ,ith
great &indness, observing me not to loo& ,ildly, or tal&
inconsistentlyA and, ,hen ,e ,ere left alone, desired 1 ,o%ld give
him a relation of my travels, and by ,hat accident 1 came to be set
adrift, in that monstro%s ,ooden chest$ -e said >that abo%t t,elve
o'cloc& at noon, as he ,as loo&ing thro%gh his glass, he s8ied it
at a distance, and tho%ght it ,as a sail, ,hich he had a mind to
ma&e, being not m%ch o%t of his co%rse, in ho8es of b%ying some
bisc%it, his o,n beginning to fall short$ That %8on coming nearer,
and finding his error, he sent o%t his longFboat to discover ,hat
it ,as7 that his men came bac& in a fright, s,earing they had seen
a s,imming ho%se$ That he la%ghed at their folly, and ,ent himself
in the boat, ordering his men to ta&e a strong cable along ,ith
them$ That the ,eather being calm, he ro,ed ro%nd me several
times, observed my ,indo,s and ,ire lattices that defended them$
That he discovered t,o sta8les %8on one side, ,hich ,as all of
boards, ,itho%t any 8assage for light$ -e then commanded his men
to ro, %8 to that side, and fastening a cable to one of the
sta8les, ordered them to to, my chest, as they called it, to,ard
the shi8$ *hen it ,as there, he gave directions to fasten another
cable to the ring fixed in the cover, and to raise %8 my chest ,ith
8%lleys, ,hich all the sailors ,ere not able to do above t,o or
three feet$> -e said, >they sa, my stic& and hand&erchief thr%st
o%t of the hole, and concl%ded that some %nha88y man m%st be sh%t
%8 in the cavity$> 1 as&ed, >,hether he or the cre, had seen any
8rodigio%s birds in the air, abo%t the time he first discovered
me$> To ,hich he ans,ered, that disco%rsing this matter ,ith the
sailors ,hile 1 ,as aslee8, one of them said, he had observed three
eagles flying to,ards the north, b%t remar&ed nothing of their
being larger than the %s%al siEeA> ,hich 1 s%88ose m%st be im8%ted
to the great height they ,ere at7 and he co%ld not g%ess the reason
of my 9%estion$ 1 then as&ed the ca8tain, >ho, far he rec&oned ,e
might be from landD> -e said, >by the best com8%tation he co%ld
ma&e, ,e ,ere at least a h%ndred leag%es$> 1 ass%red him, >that he
m%st be mista&en by almost half, for 1 had not left the co%ntry
,hence 1 came above t,o ho%rs before 1 dro88ed into the sea$>
*here%8on he began again to thin& that my brain ,as dist%rbed, of
,hich he gave me a hint, and advised me to go to bed in a cabin he
had 8rovided$ 1 ass%red him, >1 ,as ,ell refreshed ,ith his good
entertainment and com8any, and as m%ch in my senses as ever 1 ,as
in my life$> -e then gre, serio%s, and desired to as& me freely,
>,hether 1 ,ere not tro%bled in my mind by the conscio%sness of
some enormo%s crime, for ,hich 1 ,as 8%nished, at the command of
some 8rince, by ex8osing me in that chest7 as great criminals, in
other co%ntries, have been forced to sea in a lea&y vessel, ,itho%t
8rovisionsA for altho%gh he sho%ld be sorry to have ta&en so ill a
man into his shi8, yet he ,o%ld engage his ,ord to set me safe
ashore, in the first 8ort ,here ,e arrived$> -e added, >that his
s%s8icions ,ere m%ch increased by some very abs%rd s8eeches 1 had
delivered at first to his sailors, and after,ards to himself, in
relation to my closet or chest, as ,ell as by my odd loo&s and
behavio%r ,hile 1 ,as at s%88er$>
1 begged his 8atience to hear me tell my story, ,hich 1 faithf%lly
did, from the last time 1 left .ngland, to the moment he first
discovered me$ 3nd, as tr%th al,ays forces its ,ay into rational
minds, so this honest ,orthy gentleman, ,ho had some tinct%re of
learning, and very good sense, ,as immediately convinced of my
cando%r and veracity$ B%t f%rther to confirm all 1 had said, 1
entreated him to give order that my cabinet sho%ld be bro%ght, of
,hich 1 had the &ey in my 8oc&et7 for he had already informed me
ho, the seamen dis8osed of my closet$ 1 o8ened it in his o,n
8resence, and sho,ed him the small collection of rarities 1 made in
the co%ntry from ,hich 1 had been so strangely delivered$ There
,as the comb 1 had contrived o%t of the st%m8s of the &ing's beard,
and another of the same materials, b%t fixed into a 8aring of her
ma?esty's th%mbFnail, ,hich served for the bac&$ There ,as a
collection of needles and 8ins, from a foot to half a yard long7
fo%r ,as8 stings, li&e ?oiner's tac&s7 some combings of the 9%een's
hair7 a gold ring, ,hich one day she made me a 8resent of, in a
most obliging manner, ta&ing it from her little finger, and
thro,ing it over my head li&e a collar$ 1 desired the ca8tain
,o%ld 8lease to acce8t this ring in ret%rn for his civilities7
,hich he absol%tely ref%sed$ 1 sho,ed him a corn that 1 had c%t
off ,ith my o,n hand, from a maid of hono%r's toe7 it ,as abo%t the
bigness of Lentish 8i88in, and gro,n so hard, that ,hen 1 ret%rned
.ngland, 1 got it hollo,ed into a c%8, and set in silver$ 0astly,
1 desired him to see the breeches 1 had then on, ,hich ,ere made of
a mo%se's s&in$
1 co%ld force nothing on him b%t a footman's tooth, ,hich 1
observed him to examine ,ith great c%riosity, and fo%nd he had a
fancy for it$ -e received it ,ith ab%ndance of than&s, more than
s%ch a trifle co%ld deserve$ 1t ,as dra,n by an %ns&ilf%l s%rgeon,
in a mista&e, from one of Gl%mdalclitch's men, ,ho ,as afflicted
,ith the toothFache, b%t it ,as as so%nd as any in his head$ 1 got
it cleaned, and 8%t it into my cabinet$ 1t ,as abo%t a foot long,
and fo%r inches in diameter$
The ca8tain ,as very ,ell satisfied ,ith this 8lain relation 1 had
given him, and said, >he ho8ed, ,hen ,e ret%rned to .ngland, 1
,o%ld oblige the ,orld by 8%tting it on 8a8er, and ma&ing it
8%blic$> 6y ans,er ,as, >that ,e ,ere overstoc&ed ,ith boo&s of
travelsA that nothing co%ld no, 8ass ,hich ,as not extraordinary7
,herein 1 do%bted some a%thors less cons%lted tr%th, than their o,n
vanity, or interest, or the diversion of ignorant readers7 that my
story co%ld contain little beside common events, ,itho%t those
ornamental descri8tions of strange 8lants, trees, birds, and other
animals7 or of the barbaro%s c%stoms and idolatry of savage 8eo8le,
,ith ,hich most ,riters abo%nd$ -o,ever, 1 than&ed him for his
good o8inion, and 8romised to ta&e the matter into my tho%ghts$>
-e said >he ,ondered at one thing very m%ch, ,hich ,as, to hear me
s8ea& so lo%d7> as&ing me >,hether the &ing or 9%een of that
co%ntry ,ere thic& of hearingD> 1 told him, >it ,as ,hat 1 had
been %sed to for above t,o years 8ast, and that 1 admired as m%ch
at the voices of him and his men, ,ho seemed to me only to ,his8er,
and yet 1 co%ld hear them ,ell eno%gh$ B%t, ,hen 1 s8o&e in that
co%ntry, it ,as li&e a man tal&ing in the streets, to another
loo&ing o%t from the to8 of a stee8le, %nless ,hen 1 ,as 8laced on
a table, or held in any 8erson's hand$> 1 told him, >1 had
li&e,ise observed another thing, that, ,hen 1 first got into the
shi8, and the sailors stood all abo%t me, 1 tho%ght they ,ere the
most little contem8tible creat%res 1 had ever beheld$> <or indeed,
,hile 1 ,as in that 8rince's co%ntry, 1 co%ld never end%re to loo&
in a glass, after mine eyes had been acc%stomed to s%ch 8rodigio%s
ob?ects, beca%se the com8arison gave me so des8icable a conceit of
myself$ The ca8tain said, >that ,hile ,e ,ere at s%88er, he
observed me to loo& at every thing ,ith a sort of ,onder, and that
1 often seemed hardly able to contain my la%ghter, ,hich he &ne,
not ,ell ho, to ta&e, b%t im8%ted it to some disorder in my brain$>
1 ans,ered, >it ,as very tr%e7 and 1 ,ondered ho, 1 co%ld forbear,
,hen 1 sa, his dishes of the siEe of a silver threeF8ence, a leg of
8or& hardly a mo%thf%l, a c%8 not so big as a n%tFshell7> and so 1
,ent on, describing the rest of his ho%seholdFst%ff and 8rovisions,
after the same manner$ <or, altho%gh he 9%een had ordered a little
e9%i8age of all things necessary for me, ,hile 1 ,as in her
service, yet my ideas ,ere ,holly ta&en %8 ,ith ,hat 1 sa, on every
side of me, and 1 ,in&ed at my o,n littleness, as 8eo8le do at
their o,n fa%lts$ The ca8tain %nderstood my raillery very ,ell,
and merrily re8lied ,ith the old .nglish 8roverb, >that he do%bted
mine eyes ,ere bigger than my belly, for he did not observe my
stomach so good, altho%gh 1 had fasted all day7> and, contin%ing in
his mirth, 8rotested >he ,o%ld have gladly given a h%ndred 8o%nds,
to have seen my closet in the eagle's bill, and after,ards in its
fall from so great a height into the sea7 ,hich ,o%ld certainly
have been a most astonishing ob?ect, ,orthy to have the descri8tion
of it transmitted to f%t%re agesA> and the com8arison of Phaeton
,as so obvio%s, that he co%ld not forbear a88lying it, altho%gh 1
did not m%ch admire the conceit$
The ca8tain having been at Ton9%in, ,as, in his ret%rn to .ngland,
driven northFeast,ard to the latit%de of "" degrees, and longit%de
of 1"H$ B%t meeting a tradeF,ind t,o days after 1 came on board
him, ,e sailed so%th,ard a long time, and coasting )e, -olland,
&e8t o%r co%rse ,estFso%thF,est, and then so%thFso%thF,est, till ,e
do%bled the :a8e of Good -o8e$ 2%r voyage ,as very 8ros8ero%s, b%t
1 shall not tro%ble the reader ,ith a ?o%rnal of it$ The ca8tain
called in at one or t,o 8orts, and sent in his longFboat for
8rovisions and fresh ,ater7 b%t 1 never ,ent o%t of the shi8 till
,e came into the Do,ns, ,hich ,as on the third day of +%ne, 1!G,
abo%t nine months after my esca8e$ 1 offered to leave my goods in
sec%rity for 8ayment of my freightA b%t the ca8tain 8rotested he
,o%ld not receive one farthing$ *e too& a &ind leave of each
other, and 1 made him 8romise he ,o%ld come to see me at my ho%se
in (edriff$ 1 hired a horse and g%ide for five shillings, ,hich 1
borro,ed of the ca8tain$
3s 1 ,as on the road, observing the littleness of the ho%ses, the
trees, the cattle, and the 8eo8le, 1 began to thin& myself in
0illi8%t$ 1 ,as afraid of tram8ling on every traveller 1 met, and
often called alo%d to have them stand o%t of the ,ay, so that 1 had
li&e to have gotten one or t,o bro&en heads for my im8ertinence$
*hen 1 came to my o,n ho%se, for ,hich 1 ,as forced to in9%ire, one
of the servants o8ening the door, 1 bent do,n to go in, Bli&e a
goose %nder a gate,C for fear of stri&ing my head$ 6y ,ife r%n o%t
to embrace me, b%t 1 stoo8ed lo,er than her &nees, thin&ing she
co%ld other,ise never be able to reach my mo%th$ 6y da%ghter
&neeled to as& my blessing, b%t 1 co%ld not see her till she arose,
having been so long %sed to stand ,ith my head and eyes erect to
above sixty feet7 and then 1 ,ent to ta&e her %8 ,ith one hand by
the ,aist$ 1 loo&ed do,n %8on the servants, and one or t,o friends
,ho ,ere in the ho%se, as if they had been 8igmies and 1 a giant$
1 told my ,ife, >she had been too thrifty, for 1 fo%nd she had
starved herself and her da%ghter to nothing$> 1n short, 1 behaved
myself so %nacco%ntably, that they ,ere all of the ca8tain's
o8inion ,hen he first sa, me, and concl%ded 1 had lost my ,its$
This 1 mention as an instance of the great 8o,er of habit and
1n a little time, 1 and my family and friends came to a right
%nderstandingA b%t my ,ife 8rotested >1 sho%ld never go to sea any
more7> altho%gh my evil destiny so ordered, that she had not 8o,er
to hinder me, as the reader may &no, hereafter$ 1n the mean time,
1 here concl%de the second 8art of my %nfort%nate voyages$
P3(T 111$ 3 =2;3G. T2 03P/T3, B30)1B3(B1, 0/GG)3GG, G0/BBD/BD(1B,
3)D +3P3)$
:-3PT.( 1$
4The a%thor sets o%t on his third voyage$ 1s ta&en by 8irates$
The malice of a D%tchman$ -is arrival at an island$ -e is
received into 0a8%ta$5
1 had not been at home above ten days, ,hen :a8tain *illiam
(obinson, a :ornish man, commander of the -o8e,ell, a sto%t shi8 of
three h%ndred tons, came to my ho%se$ 1 had formerly been s%rgeon
of another shi8 ,here he ,as master, and a fo%rth 8art o,ner, in a
voyage to the 0evant$ -e had al,ays treated me more li&e a
brother, than an inferior officer7 and, hearing of my arrival, made
me a visit, as 1 a88rehended only o%t of friendshi8, for nothing
8assed more than ,hat is %s%al after long absences$ B%t re8eating
his visits often, ex8ressing his ?oy to find 1 me in good health,
as&ing, >,hether 1 ,ere no, settled for lifeD> adding, >that he
intended a voyage to the .ast 1ndies in t,o months,> at last he
8lainly invited me, tho%gh ,ith some a8ologies, to be s%rgeon of
the shi87 >that 1 sho%ld have another s%rgeon %nder me, beside o%r
t,o mates7 that my salary sho%ld be do%ble to the %s%al 8ay7 and
that having ex8erienced my &no,ledge in seaFaffairs to be at least
e9%al to his, he ,o%ld enter into any engagement to follo, my
advice, as m%ch as if 1 had shared in the command$>
-e said so many other obliging things, and 1 &ne, him to be so
honest a man, that 1 co%ld not re?ect this 8ro8osal7 the thirst 1
had of seeing the ,orld, not,ithstanding my 8ast misfort%nes,
contin%ing as violent as ever$ The only diffic%lty that remained,
,as to 8ers%ade my ,ife, ,hose consent ho,ever 1 at last obtained,
by the 8ros8ect of advantage she 8ro8osed to her children$
*e set o%t the Ith day of 3%g%st, 1!G, and arrived at <ort St$
George the 11th of 38ril, 1!!$ *e staid there three ,ee&s to
refresh o%r cre,, many of ,hom ,ere sic&$ <rom thence ,e ,ent to
Ton9%in, ,here the ca8tain resolved to contin%e some time, beca%se
many of the goods he intended to b%y ,ere not ready, nor co%ld he
ex8ect to be dis8atched in several months$ Therefore, in ho8es to
defray some of the charges he m%st be at, he bo%ght a sloo8, loaded
it ,ith several sorts of goods, ,here,ith the Ton9%inese %s%ally
trade to the neighbo%ring islands, and 8%tting fo%rteen men on
board, ,hereof three ,ere of the co%ntry, he a88ointed me master of
the sloo8, and gave me 8o,er to traffic, ,hile he transacted his
affairs at Ton9%in$
*e had not sailed above three days, ,hen a great storm arising, ,e
,ere driven five days to the northFnorthFeast, and then to the
eastA after ,hich ,e had fair ,eather, b%t still ,ith a 8retty
strong gale from the ,est$ /8on the tenth day ,e ,ere chased by
t,o 8irates, ,ho soon overtoo& %s7 for my sloo8 ,as so dee8 laden,
that she sailed very slo,, neither ,ere ,e in a condition to defend
*e ,ere boarded abo%t the same time by both the 8irates, ,ho
entered f%rio%sly at the head of their men7 b%t finding %s all
8rostrate %8on o%r faces Bfor so 1 gave orderC, they 8inioned %s
,ith strong ro8es, and setting g%ard %8on %s, ,ent to search the
1 observed among them a D%tchman, ,ho seemed to be of some
a%thority, tho%gh he ,as not commander of either shi8$ -e &ne, %s
by o%r co%ntenances to be .nglishmen, and ?abbering to %s in his
o,n lang%age, s,ore ,e sho%ld be tied bac& to bac& and thro,n into
the sea$ 1 s8o&en D%tch tolerably ,ell7 1 told him ,ho ,e ,ere,
and begged him, in consideration of o%r being :hristians and
Protestants, of neighbo%ring co%ntries in strict alliance, that he
,o%ld move the ca8tains to ta&e some 8ity on %s$ This inflamed his
rage7 he re8eated his threatenings, and t%rning to his com8anions,
s8o&e ,ith great vehemence in the +a8anese lang%age, as 1 s%88ose,
often %sing the ,ord :hristianos$
The largest of the t,o 8irate shi8s ,as commanded by a +a8anese
ca8tain, ,ho s8o&e a little D%tch, b%t very im8erfectly$ -e came
%8 to me, and after several 9%estions, ,hich 1 ans,ered in great
h%mility, he said, >,e sho%ld not die$> 1 made the ca8tain a very
lo, bo,, and then, t%rning to the D%tchman, said, >1 ,as sorry to
find more mercy in a heathen, than in a brother christian$> B%t 1
had soon reason to re8ent those foolish ,ordsA for that malicio%s
re8robate, having often endeavo%red in vain to 8ers%ade both the
ca8tains that 1 might be thro,n into the sea B,hich they ,o%ld not
yield to, after the 8romise made me that 1 sho%ld not dieC,
ho,ever, 8revailed so far, as to have a 8%nishment inflicted on me,
,orse, in all h%man a88earance, than death itself$ 6y men ,ere
sent by an e9%al division into both the 8irate shi8s, and my sloo8
ne, manned$ 3s to myself, it ,as determined that 1 sho%ld be set
adrift in a small canoe, ,ith 8addles and a sail, and fo%r days'
8rovisions7 ,hich last, the +a8anese ca8tain ,as so &ind to do%ble
o%t of his o,n stores, and ,o%ld 8ermit no man to search me$ 1 got
do,n into the canoe, ,hile the D%tchman, standing %8on the dec&,
loaded me ,ith all the c%rses and in?%rio%s terms his lang%age
co%ld afford$
3bo%t an ho%r before ,e sa, the 8irates 1 had ta&en an observation,
and fo%nd ,e ,ere in the latit%de of "G )$ and longit%de of 18H$
*hen 1 ,as at some distance from the 8irates, 1 discovered, by my
8oc&etFglass, several islands to the so%thFeast$ 1 set %8 my sail,
the ,ind being fair, ,ith a design to reach the nearest of those
islands, ,hich 1 made a shift to do, in abo%t three ho%rs$ 1t ,as
all roc&yA ho,ever 1 got many birds' eggs7 and, stri&ing fire, 1
&indled some heath and dry seaF,eed, by ,hich 1 roasted my eggs$ 1
ate no other s%88er, being resolved to s8are my 8rovisions as m%ch
as 1 co%ld$ 1 8assed the night %nder the shelter of a roc&,
stre,ing some heath %nder me, and sle8t 8retty ,ell$
The next day 1 sailed to another island, and thence to a third and
fo%rth, sometimes %sing my sail, and sometimes my 8addles$ B%t,
not to tro%ble the reader ,ith a 8artic%lar acco%nt of my
distresses, let it s%ffice, that on the fifth day 1 arrived at the
last island in my sight, ,hich lay so%thFso%thFeast to the former$
This island ,as at a greater distance than 1 ex8ected, and 1 did
not reach it in less than five ho%rs$ 1 encom8assed it almost
ro%nd, before 1 co%ld find a convenient 8lace to land in7 ,hich ,as
a small cree&, abo%t three times the ,ideness of my canoe$ 1 fo%nd
the island to be all roc&y, only a little intermingled ,ith t%fts
of grass, and s,eetFsmelling herbs$ 1 too& o%t my small 8rovisions
and after having refreshed myself, 1 sec%red the remainder in a
cave, ,hereof there ,ere great n%mbers7 1 gathered 8lenty of eggs
%8on the roc&s, and got a 9%antity of dry seaF,eed, and 8arched
grass, ,hich 1 designed to &indle the next day, and roast my eggs
as ,ell as 1 co%ld, for 1 had abo%t me my flint, steel, match, and
b%rningFglass$ 1 lay all night in the cave ,here 1 had lodged my
8rovisions$ 6y bed ,as the same dry grass and seaF,eed ,hich 1
intended for f%el$ 1 sle8t very little, for the dis9%iets of my
mind 8revailed over my ,eariness, and &e8t me a,a&e$ 1 considered
ho, im8ossible it ,as to 8reserve my life in so desolate a 8lace,
and ho, miserable my end m%st beA yet fo%nd myself so listless and
des8onding, that 1 had not the heart to rise7 and before 1 co%ld
get s8irits eno%gh to cree8 o%t of my cave, the day ,as far
advanced$ 1 ,al&ed a,hile among the roc&sA the s&y ,as 8erfectly
clear, and the s%n so hot, that 1 ,as forced to t%rn my face from
itA ,hen all on a s%dden it became obsc%re, as 1 tho%ght, in a
manner very different from ,hat ha88ens by the inter8osition of a
clo%d$ 1 t%rned bac&, and 8erceived a vast o8a9%e body bet,een me
and the s%n moving for,ards to,ards the islandA it seemed to be
abo%t t,o miles high, and hid the s%n six or seven min%tes7 b%t 1
did not observe the air to be m%ch colder, or the s&y more
dar&ened, than if 1 had stood %nder the shade of a mo%ntain$ 3s it
a88roached nearer over the 8lace ,here 1 ,as, it a88eared to be a
firm s%bstance, the bottom flat, smooth, and shining very bright,
from the reflection of the sea belo,$ 1 stood %8on a height abo%t
t,o h%ndred yards from the shore, and sa, this vast body descending
almost to a 8arallel ,ith me, at less than an .nglish mile
distance$ 1 too& o%t my 8oc&et 8ers8ective, and co%ld 8lainly
discover n%mbers of 8eo8le moving %8 and do,n the sides of it,
,hich a88eared to be slo8ing7 b%t ,hat those 8eo8le ,here doing 1
,as not able to disting%ish$
The nat%ral love of life gave me some in,ard motion of ?oy, and 1
,as ready to entertain a ho8e that this advent%re might, some ,ay
or other, hel8 to deliver me from the desolate 8lace and condition
1 ,as in$ B%t at the same time the reader can hardly conceive my
astonishment, to behold an island in the air, inhabited by men, ,ho
,ere able Bas it sho%ld seemC to raise or sin&, or 8%t it into
8rogressive motion, as they 8leased$ B%t not being at that time in
a dis8osition to 8hiloso8hise %8on this 8henomenon, 1 rather chose
to observe ,hat co%rse the island ,o%ld ta&e, beca%se it seemed for
a,hile to stand still$ ;et soon after, it advanced nearer, and 1
co%ld see the sides of it encom8assed ,ith several gradations of
galleries, and stairs, at certain intervals, to descend from one to
the other$ 1n the lo,est gallery, 1 beheld some 8eo8le fishing
,ith long angling rods, and others loo&ing on$ 1 ,aved my ca8 Bfor
my hat ,as long since ,orn o%tC and my hand&erchief to,ard the
island7 and %8on its nearer a88roach, 1 called and sho%ted ,ith the
%tmost strength of my voice7 and then loo&ing circ%ms8ectly, 1
beheld a cro,d gather to that side ,hich ,as most in my vie,$ 1
fo%nd by their 8ointing to,ards me and to each other, that they
8lainly discovered me, altho%gh they made no ret%rn to my sho%ting$
B%t 1 co%ld see fo%r or five men r%nning in great haste, %8 the
stairs, to the to8 of the island, ,ho then disa88eared$ 1 ha88ened
rightly to con?ect%re, that these ,ere sent for orders to some
8erson in a%thority %8on this occasion$
The n%mber of 8eo8le increased, and, in less than half all ho%r,
the island ,as moved and raised in s%ch a manner, that the lo,est
gallery a88eared in a 8arallel of less then a h%ndred yards
distance from the height ,here 1 stood$ 1 then 8%t myself in the
most s%88licating 8ost%re, and s8o&e in the h%mblest accent, b%t
received no ans,er$ Those ,ho stood nearest over against me,
seemed to be 8ersons of distinction, as 1 s%88osed by their habit$
They conferred earnestly ,ith each other, loo&ing often %8on me$
3t length one of them called o%t in a clear, 8olite, smooth
dialect, not %nli&e in so%nd to the 1talianA and therefore 1
ret%rned an ans,er in that lang%age, ho8ing at least that the
cadence might be more agreeable to his ears$ 3ltho%gh neither of
%s %nderstood the other, yet my meaning ,as easily &no,n, for the
8eo8le sa, the distress 1 ,as in$
They made signs for me to come do,n from the roc&, and go to,ards
the shore, ,hich 1 accordingly did7 and the flying island being
raised to a convenient height, the verge directly over me, a chain
,as let do,n from the lo,est gallery, ,ith a seat fastened to the
bottom, to ,hich 1 fixed myself, and ,as dra,n %8 by 8%lleys$
:-3PT.( 11$
4The h%mo%rs and dis8ositions of the 0a8%tians described$ 3n
acco%nt of their learning$ 2f the &ing and his co%rt$ The
a%thor's rece8tion there$ The inhabitants s%b?ect to fear and
dis9%iet%des$ 3n acco%nt of the ,omen$5
3t my alighting, 1 ,as s%rro%nded ,ith a cro,d of 8eo8le, b%t those
,ho stood nearest seemed to be of better 9%ality$ They beheld me
,ith all the mar&s and circ%mstances of ,onder7 neither indeed ,as
1 m%ch in their debt, having never till then seen a race of mortals
so sing%lar in their sha8es, habits, and co%ntenances$ Their heads
,ere all reclined, either to the right, or the left7 one of their
eyes t%rned in,ard, and the other directly %8 to the Eenith$ Their
o%t,ard garments ,ere adorned ,ith the fig%res of s%ns, moons, and
stars7 inter,oven ,ith those of fiddles, fl%tes, har8s, tr%m8ets,
g%itars, har8sichords, and many other instr%ments of m%sic, %n&no,n
to %s in .%ro8e$ 1 observed, here and there, many in the habit of
servants, ,ith a blo,n bladder, fastened li&e a flail to the end of
a stic&, ,hich they carried in their hands$ 1n each bladder ,as a
small 9%antity of dried 8eas, or little 8ebbles, as 1 ,as
after,ards informed$ *ith these bladders, they no, and then
fla88ed the mo%ths and ears of those ,ho stood near them, of ,hich
8ractice 1 co%ld not then conceive the meaning$ 1t seems the minds
of these 8eo8le are so ta&en %8 ,ith intense s8ec%lations, that
they neither can s8ea&, nor attend to the disco%rses of others,
,itho%t being ro%sed by some external taction %8on the organs of
s8eech and hearing7 for ,hich reason, those 8ersons ,ho are able to
afford it al,ays &ee8 a fla88er Bthe original is climenoleC in
their family, as one of their domestics7 nor ever ,al& abroad, or
ma&e visits, ,itho%t him$ 3nd the b%siness of this officer is,
,hen t,o, three, or more 8ersons are in com8any, gently to stri&e
,ith his bladder the mo%th of him ,ho is to s8ea&, and the right
ear of him or them to ,hom the s8ea&er addresses himself$ This
fla88er is li&e,ise em8loyed diligently to attend his master in his
,al&s, and %8on occasion to give him a soft fla8 on his eyes7
beca%se he is al,ays so ,ra88ed %8 in cogitation, that he is in
manifest danger of falling do,n every 8reci8ice, and bo%ncing his
head against every 8ost7 and in the streets, of ?%stling others, or
being ?%stled himself into the &ennel$
1t ,as necessary to give the reader this information, ,itho%t ,hich
he ,o%ld be at the same loss ,ith me to %nderstand the 8roceedings
of these 8eo8le, as they cond%cted me %8 the stairs to the to8 of
the island, and from thence to the royal 8alace$ *hile ,e ,ere
ascending, they forgot several times ,hat they ,ere abo%t, and left
me to myself, till their memories ,ere again ro%sed by their
fla88ers7 for they a88eared altogether %nmoved by the sight of my
foreign habit and co%ntenance, and by the sho%ts of the v%lgar,
,hose tho%ghts and minds ,ere more disengaged$
3t last ,e entered the 8alace, and 8roceeded into the chamber of
8resence, ,here 1 sa, the &ing seated on his throne, attended on
each side by 8ersons of 8rime 9%ality$ Before the throne, ,as a
large table filled ,ith globes and s8heres, and mathematical
instr%ments of all &inds$ -is ma?esty too& not the least notice of
%s, altho%gh o%r entrance ,as not ,itho%t s%fficient noise, by the
conco%rse of all 8ersons belonging to the co%rt$ B%t he ,as then
dee8 in a 8roblem7 and ,e attended at least an ho%r, before he
co%ld solve it$ There stood by him, on each side, a yo%ng 8age
,ith fla8s in their hands, and ,hen they sa, he ,as at leis%re, one
of them gently str%c& his mo%th, and the other his right ear7 at
,hich he startled li&e one a,a&ed on the s%dden, and loo&ing
to,ards me and the com8any 1 ,as in, recollected the occasion of
o%r coming, ,hereof he had been informed before$ -e s8o&e some
,ords, ,here%8on immediately a yo%ng man ,ith a fla8 came %8 to my
side, and fla88ed me gently on the right ear7 b%t 1 made signs, as
,ell as 1 co%ld, that 1 had no occasion for s%ch an instr%ment7
,hich, as 1 after,ards fo%nd, gave his ma?esty, and the ,hole
co%rt, a very mean o8inion of my %nderstanding$ The &ing, as far
as 1 co%ld con?ect%re, as&ed me several 9%estions, and 1 addressed
myself to him in all the lang%ages 1 had$ *hen it ,as fo%nd 1
co%ld neither %nderstand nor be %nderstood, 1 ,as cond%cted by his
order to an a8artment in his 8alace Bthis 8rince being
disting%ished above all his 8redecessors for his hos8itality to
strangersC, ,here t,o servants ,ere a88ointed to attend me$ 6y
dinner ,as bro%ght, and fo%r 8ersons of 9%ality, ,hom 1 remembered
to have seen very near the &ing's 8erson, did me the hono%r to dine
,ith me$ *e had t,o co%rses, of three dishes each$ 1n the first
co%rse, there ,as a sho%lder of m%tton c%t into an e9%ilateral
triangle, a 8iece of beef into a rhomboides, and a 8%dding into a
cycloid$ The second co%rse ,as t,o d%c&s tr%ssed %8 in the form of
fiddles7 sa%sages and 8%ddings resembling fl%tes and ha%tboys, and
a breast of veal in the sha8e of a har8$ The servants c%t o%r
bread into cones, cylinders, 8arallelograms, and several other
mathematical fig%res$
*hile ,e ,ere at dinner, 1 made bold to as& the names of several
things in their lang%age, and those noble 8ersons, by the
assistance of their fla88ers, delighted to give me ans,ers, ho8ing
to raise my admiration of their great abilities if 1 co%ld be
bro%ght to converse ,ith them$ 1 ,as soon able to call for bread
and drin&, or ,hatever else 1 ,anted$
3fter dinner my com8any ,ithdre,, and a 8erson ,as sent to me by
the &ing's order, attended by a fla88er$ -e bro%ght ,ith him 8en,
in&, and 8a8er, and three or fo%r boo&s, giving me to %nderstand by
signs, that he ,as sent to teach me the lang%age$ *e sat together
fo%r ho%rs, in ,hich time 1 ,rote do,n a great n%mber of ,ords in
col%mns, ,ith the translations over against them7 1 li&e,ise made a
shift to learn several short sentences7 for my t%tor ,o%ld order
one of my servants to fetch something, to t%rn abo%t, to ma&e a
bo,, to sit, or to stand, or ,al&, and the li&e$ Then 1 too& do,n
the sentence in ,riting$ -e sho,ed me also, in one of his boo&s,
the fig%res of the s%n, moon, and stars, the Eodiac, the tro8ics,
and 8olar circles, together ,ith the denominations of many 8lains
and solids$ -e gave me the names and descri8tions of all the
m%sical instr%ments, and the general terms of art in 8laying on
each of them$ 3fter he had left me, 1 8laced all my ,ords, ,ith
their inter8retations, in al8habetical order$ 3nd th%s, in a fe,
days, by the hel8 of a very faithf%l memory, 1 got some insight
into their lang%age$ The ,ord, ,hich 1 inter8ret the flying or
floating island, is in the original 0a8%ta, ,hereof 1 co%ld never
learn the tr%e etymology$ 0a8, in the old obsolete lang%age,
signifies high7 and %nt%h, a governor7 from ,hich they say, by
corr%8tion, ,as derived 0a8%ta, from 0a8%nt%h$ B%t 1 do not
a88rove of this derivation, ,hich seems to be a little strained$ 1
vent%red to offer to the learned among them a con?ect%re of my o,n,
that 0a8%ta ,as 9%asi la8 o%ted7 la8, signifying 8ro8erly, the
dancing of the s%nbeams in the sea, and o%ted, a ,ing7 ,hich,
ho,ever, 1 shall not obtr%de, b%t s%bmit to the ?%dicio%s reader$
Those to ,hom the &ing had entr%sted me, observing ho, ill 1 ,as
clad, ordered a tailor to come next morning, and ta&e meas%re for a
s%it of clothes$ This o8erator did his office after a different
manner from those of his trade in .%ro8e$ -e first too& my
altit%de by a 9%adrant, and then, ,ith a r%le and com8asses,
described the dimensions and o%tlines of my ,hole body, all ,hich
he entered %8on 8a8er7 and in six days bro%ght my clothes very ill
made, and 9%ite o%t of sha8e, by ha88ening to mista&e a fig%re in
the calc%lation$ B%t my comfort ,as, that 1 observed s%ch
accidents very fre9%ent, and little regarded$
D%ring my confinement for ,ant of clothes, and by an indis8osition
that held me some days longer, 1 m%ch enlarged my dictionary7 and
,hen 1 ,ent next to co%rt, ,as able to %nderstand many things the
&ing s8o&e, and to ret%rn him some &ind of ans,ers$ -is ma?esty
had given orders, that the island sho%ld move northFeast and by
east, to the vertical 8oint over 0agado, the metro8olis of the
,hole &ingdom belo,, %8on the firm earth$ 1t ,as abo%t ninety
leag%es distant, and o%r voyage lasted fo%r days and a half$ 1 ,as
not in the least sensible of the 8rogressive motion made in the air
by the island$ 2n the second morning, abo%t eleven o'cloc&, the
&ing himself in 8erson, attended by his nobility, co%rtiers, and
officers, having 8re8ared all their m%sical instr%ments, 8layed on
them for three ho%rs ,itho%t intermission, so that 1 ,as 9%ite
st%nned ,ith the noise7 neither co%ld 1 8ossibly g%ess the meaning,
till my t%tor informed me$ -e said that, the 8eo8le of their
island had their ears ada8ted to hear >the m%sic of the s8heres,
,hich al,ays 8layed at certain 8eriods, and the co%rt ,as no,
8re8ared to bear their 8art, in ,hatever instr%ment they most
1n o%r ?o%rney to,ards 0agado, the ca8ital city, his ma?esty
ordered that the island sho%ld sto8 over certain to,ns and
villages, from ,hence he might receive the 8etitions of his
s%b?ects$ 3nd to this 8%r8ose, several 8ac&threads ,ere let do,n,
,ith small ,eights at the bottom$ 2n these 8ac&threads the 8eo8le
str%ng their 8etitions, ,hich mo%nted %8 directly, li&e the scra8s
of 8a8er fastened by school boys at the end of the string that
holds their &ite$ Sometimes ,e received ,ine and vict%als from
belo,, ,hich ,ere dra,n %8 by 8%lleys$
The &no,ledge 1 had in mathematics, gave me great assistance in
ac9%iring their 8hraseology, ,hich de8ended m%ch %8on that science,
and m%sic7 and in the latter 1 ,as not %ns&illed$ Their ideas are
8er8et%ally conversant in lines and fig%res$ 1f they ,o%ld, for
exam8le, 8raise the bea%ty of a ,oman, or any other animal, they
describe it by rhombs, circles, 8arallelograms, elli8ses, and other
geometrical terms, or by ,ords of art dra,n from m%sic, needless
here to re8eat$ 1 observed in the &ing's &itchen all sorts of
mathematical and m%sical instr%ments, after the fig%res of ,hich
they c%t %8 the ?oints that ,ere served to his ma?esty's table$
Their ho%ses are very ill b%ilt, the ,alls bevil, ,itho%t one right
angle in any a8artment7 and this defect arises from the contem8t
they bear to 8ractical geometry, ,hich they des8ise as v%lgar and
mechanic7 those instr%ctions they give being too refined for the
intellects of their ,or&men, ,hich occasions 8er8et%al mista&es$
3nd altho%gh they are dextero%s eno%gh %8on a 8iece of 8a8er, in
the management of the r%le, the 8encil, and the divider, yet in the
common actions and behavio%r of life, 1 have not seen a more
cl%msy, a,&,ard, and %nhandy 8eo8le, nor so slo, and 8er8lexed in
their conce8tions %8on all other s%b?ects, exce8t those of
mathematics and m%sic$ They are very bad reasoners, and vehemently
given to o88osition, %nless ,hen they ha88en to be of the right
o8inion, ,hich is seldom their case$ 1magination, fancy, and
invention, they are ,holly strangers to, nor have any ,ords in
their lang%age, by ,hich those ideas can be ex8ressed7 the ,hole
com8ass of their tho%ghts and mind being sh%t %8 ,ithin the t,o
forementioned sciences$
6ost of them, and es8ecially those ,ho deal in the astronomical
8art, have great faith in ?%dicial astrology, altho%gh they are
ashamed to o,n it 8%blicly$ B%t ,hat 1 chiefly admired, and
tho%ght altogether %nacco%ntable, ,as the strong dis8osition 1
observed in them to,ards ne,s and 8olitics, 8er8et%ally in9%iring
into 8%blic affairs, giving their ?%dgments in matters of state,
and 8assionately dis8%ting every inch of a 8arty o8inion$ 1 have
indeed observed the same dis8osition among most of the
mathematicians 1 have &no,n in .%ro8e, altho%gh 1 co%ld never
discover the least analogy bet,een the t,o sciences7 %nless those
8eo8le s%88ose, that beca%se the smallest circle has as many
degrees as the largest, therefore the reg%lation and management of
the ,orld re9%ire no more abilities than the handling and t%rning
of a globe7 b%t 1 rather ta&e this 9%ality to s8ring from a very
common infirmity of h%man nat%re, inclining %s to be most c%rio%s
and conceited in matters ,here ,e have least concern, and for ,hich
,e are least ada8ted by st%dy or nat%re$
These 8eo8le are %nder contin%al dis9%iet%des, never en?oying a
min%tes 8eace of mind7 and their dist%rbances 8roceed from ca%ses
,hich very little affect the rest of mortals$ Their a88rehensions
arise from several changes they dread in the celestial bodiesA for
instance, that the earth, by the contin%al a88roaches of the s%n
to,ards it, m%st, in co%rse of time, be absorbed, or s,allo,ed %87
that the face of the s%n, ,ill, by degrees, be encr%sted ,ith its
o,n effl%via, and give no more light to the ,orld7 that the earth
very narro,ly esca8ed a br%sh from the tail of the last comet,
,hich ,o%ld have infallibly red%ced it to ashes7 and that the next,
,hich they have calc%lated for oneFandFthirty years hence, ,ill
8robably destroy %s$ <or if, in its 8erihelion, it sho%ld a88roach
,ithin a certain degree of the s%n Bas by their calc%lations they
have reason to dreadC it ,ill receive a degree of heat ten tho%sand
times more intense than that of red hot glo,ing iron, and in its
absence from the s%n, carry a blaEing tail ten h%ndred tho%sand and
fo%rteen miles long, thro%gh ,hich, if the earth sho%ld 8ass at the
distance of one h%ndred tho%sand miles from the n%cle%s, or main
body of the comet, it m%st in its 8assage be set on fire, and
red%ced to ashesA that the s%n, daily s8ending its rays ,itho%t
any n%triment to s%88ly them, ,ill at last be ,holly cons%med and
annihilated7 ,hich m%st be attended ,ith the destr%ction of this
earth, and of all the 8lanets that receive their light from it$
They are so 8er8et%ally alarmed ,ith the a88rehensions of these,
and the li&e im8ending dangers, that they can neither slee8 9%ietly
in their beds, nor have any relish for the common 8leas%res and
am%sements of life$ *hen they meet an ac9%aintance in the morning,
the first 9%estion is abo%t the s%n's health, ho, he loo&ed at his
setting and rising, and ,hat ho8es they have to avoid the stro&e of
the a88roaching comet$ This conversation they are a8t to r%n into
,ith the same tem8er that boys discover in delighting to hear
terrible stories of s8irits and hobgoblins, ,hich they greedily
listen to, and dare not go to bed for fear$
The ,omen of the island have ab%ndance of vivacityA they, contemn
their h%sbands, and are exceedingly fond of strangers, ,hereof
there is al,ays a considerable n%mber from the continent belo,,
attending at co%rt, either %8on affairs of the several to,ns and
cor8orations, or their o,n 8artic%lar occasions, b%t are m%ch
des8ised, beca%se they ,ant the same endo,ments$ 3mong these the
ladies choose their gallantsA b%t the vexation is, that they act
,ith too m%ch ease and sec%rity7 for the h%sband is al,ays so ra8t
in s8ec%lation, that the mistress and lover may 8roceed to the
greatest familiarities before his face, if he be b%t 8rovided ,ith
8a8er and im8lements, and ,itho%t his fla88er at his side$
The ,ives and da%ghters lament their confinement to the island,
altho%gh 1 thin& it the most delicio%s s8ot of gro%nd in the ,orld7
and altho%gh they live here in the greatest 8lenty and
magnificence, and are allo,ed to do ,hatever they 8lease, they long
to see the ,orld, and ta&e the diversions of the metro8olis, ,hich
they are not allo,ed to do ,itho%t a 8artic%lar license from the
&ing7 and this is not easy to be obtained, beca%se the 8eo8le of
9%ality have fo%nd, by fre9%ent ex8erience, ho, hard it is to
8ers%ade their ,omen to ret%rn from belo,$ 1 ,as told that a great
co%rt lady, ,ho had several children,FFis married to the 8rime
minister, the richest s%b?ect in the &ingdom, a very gracef%l
8erson, extremely fond of her, and lives in the finest 8alace of
the island,FF,ent do,n to 0agado on the 8retence of health, there
hid herself for several months, till the &ing sent a ,arrant to
search for her7 and she ,as fo%nd in an obsc%re eatingFho%se all in
rags, having 8a,ned her clothes to maintain an old deformed
footman, ,ho beat her every day, and in ,hose com8any she ,as
ta&en, m%ch against her ,ill$ 3nd altho%gh her h%sband received
her ,ith all 8ossible &indness, and ,itho%t the least re8roach, she
soon after contrived to steal do,n again, ,ith all her ?e,els, to
the same gallant, and has not been heard of since$
This may 8erha8s 8ass ,ith the reader rather for an .%ro8ean or
.nglish story, than for one of a co%ntry so remote$ B%t he may
8lease to consider, that the ca8rices of ,oman&ind are not limited
by any climate or nation, and that they are m%ch more %niform, than
can be easily imagined$
1n abo%t a month's time, 1 had made a tolerable 8roficiency in
their lang%age, and ,as able to ans,er most of the &ing's
9%estions, ,hen 1 had the hono%r to attend him$ -is ma?esty
discovered not the least c%riosity to in9%ire into the la,s,
government, history, religion, or manners of the co%ntries ,here 1
had been7 b%t confined his 9%estions to the state of mathematics,
and received the acco%nt 1 gave him ,ith great contem8t and
indifference, tho%gh often ro%sed by his fla88er on each side$
:-3PT.( 111$
43 8henomenon solved by modern 8hiloso8hy and astronomy$ The
0a8%tians' great im8rovements in the latter$ The &ing's method of
s%88ressing ins%rrections$5
1 desired leave of this 8rince to see the c%riosities of the
island, ,hich he ,as gracio%sly 8leased to grant, and ordered my
t%tor to attend me$ 1 chiefly ,anted to &no,, to ,hat ca%se, in
art or in nat%re, it o,ed its several motions, ,hereof 1 ,ill no,
give a 8hiloso8hical acco%nt to the reader$
The flying or floating island is exactly circ%lar, its diameter
!8H! yards, or abo%t fo%r miles and a half, and conse9%ently
contains ten tho%sand acres$ 1t is three h%ndred yards thic&$ The
bottom, or %nder s%rface, ,hich a88ears to those ,ho vie, it belo,,
is one even reg%lar 8late of adamant, shooting %8 to the height of
abo%t t,o h%ndred yards$ 3bove it lie the several minerals in
their %s%al order, and over all is a coat of rich mo%ld, ten or
t,elve feet dee8$ The declivity of the %88er s%rface, from the
circ%mference to the centre, is the nat%ral ca%se ,hy all the de,s
and rains, ,hich fall %8on the island, are conveyed in small
riv%lets to,ard the middle, ,here they are em8tied into fo%r large
basins, each of abo%t half a mile in circ%it, and t,o h%ndred yards
distant from the centre$ <rom these basins the ,ater is
contin%ally exhaled by the s%n in the daytime, ,hich effect%ally
8revents their overflo,ing$ Besides, as it is in the 8o,er of the
monarch to raise the island above the region of clo%ds and va8o%rs,
he can 8revent the falling of de,s and rain ,henever he 8leases$
<or the highest clo%ds cannot rise above t,o miles, as nat%ralists
agree, at least they ,ere never &no,n to do so in that co%ntry$
3t the centre of the island there is a chasm abo%t fifty yards in
diameter, ,hence the astronomers descend into a large dome, ,hich
is therefore called flandona gagnole, or the astronomer's cave,
sit%ated at the de8th of a h%ndred yards beneath the %88er s%rface
of the adamant$ 1n this cave are t,enty lam8s contin%ally b%rning,
,hich, from the reflection of the adamant, cast a strong light into
every 8art$ The 8lace is stored ,ith great variety of sextants,
9%adrants, telesco8es, astrolabes, and other astronomical
instr%ments$ B%t the greatest c%riosity, %8on ,hich the fate of
the island de8ends, is a loadstone of a 8rodigio%s siEe, in sha8e
resembling a ,eaver's sh%ttle$ 1t is in length six yards, and in
the thic&est 8art at least three yards over$ This magnet is
s%stained by a very strong axle of adamant 8assing thro%gh its
middle, %8on ,hich it 8lays, and is 8oised so exactly that the
,ea&est hand can t%rn it$ 1t is hoo8ed ro%nd ,ith a hollo,
cylinder of adamant, fo%r feet yards in diameter, 8laced
horiEontally, and s%88orted by eight adamantine feet, each six
yards high$ 1n the middle of the concave side, there is a groove
t,elve inches dee8, in ,hich the extremities of the axle are
lodged, and t%rned ro%nd as there is occasion$
The stone cannot be removed from its 8lace by any force, beca%se
the hoo8 and its feet are one contin%ed 8iece ,ith that body of
adamant ,hich constit%tes the bottom of the island$
By means of this loadstone, the island is made to rise and fall,
and move from one 8lace to another$ <or, ,ith res8ect to that 8art
of the earth over ,hich the monarch 8resides, the stone is end%ed
at one of its sides ,ith an attractive 8o,er, and at the other ,ith
a re8%lsive$ /8on 8lacing the magnet erect, ,ith its attracting
end to,ards the earth, the island descends7 b%t ,hen the re8elling
extremity 8oints do,n,ards, the island mo%nts directly %8,ards$
*hen the 8osition of the stone is obli9%e, the motion of the island
is so tooA for in this magnet, the forces al,ays act in lines
8arallel to its direction$
By this obli9%e motion, the island is conveyed to different 8arts
of the monarch's dominions$ To ex8lain the manner of its 8rogress,
let 3 B re8resent a line dra,n across the dominions of Balnibarbi,
let the line c d re8resent the loadstone, of ,hich let d be the
re8elling end, and c the attracting end, the island being over :A
let the stone be 8laced in 8osition c d, ,ith its re8elling end
do,n,ards7 then the island ,ill be driven %8,ards obli9%ely to,ards
D$ *hen it is arrived at D, let the stone be t%rned %8on its axle,
till its attracting end 8oints to,ards ., and then the island ,ill
be carried obli9%ely to,ards .7 ,here, if the stone be again t%rned
%8on its axle till it stands in the 8osition . <, ,ith its
re8elling 8oint do,n,ards, the island ,ill rise obli9%ely to,ards
<, ,here, by directing the attracting end to,ards G, the island may
be carried to G, and from G to -, by t%rning the stone, so as to
ma&e its re8elling extremity to 8oint directly do,n,ard$ 3nd th%s,
by changing the sit%ation of the stone, as often as there is
occasion, the island is made to rise and fall by t%rns in an
obli9%e direction, and by those alternate risings and fallings Bthe
obli9%ity being not considerableC is conveyed from one 8art of the
dominions to the other$
B%t it m%st be observed, that this island cannot move beyond the
extent of the dominions belo,, nor can it rise above the height of
fo%r miles$ <or ,hich the astronomers B,ho have ,ritten large
systems concerning the stoneC assign the follo,ing reasonA that
the magnetic virt%e does not extend beyond the distance of fo%r
miles, and that the mineral, ,hich acts %8on the stone in the
bo,els of the earth, and in the sea abo%t six leag%es distant from
the shore, is not diff%sed thro%gh the ,hole globe, b%t terminated
,ith the limits of the &ing's dominions7 and it ,as easy, from the
great advantage of s%ch a s%8erior sit%ation, for a 8rince to bring
%nder his obedience ,hatever co%ntry lay ,ithin the attraction of
that magnet$
*hen the stone is 8%t 8arallel to the 8lane of the horiEon, the
island stands still7 for in that case the extremities of it, being
at e9%al distance from the earth, act ,ith e9%al force, the one in
dra,ing do,n,ards, the other in 8%shing %8,ards, and conse9%ently
no motion can ens%e$
This loadstone is %nder the care of certain astronomers, ,ho, from
time to time, give it s%ch 8ositions as the monarch directs$ They
s8end the greatest 8art of their lives in observing the celestial
bodies, ,hich they do by the assistance of glasses, far excelling
o%rs in goodness$ <or, altho%gh their largest telesco8es do not
exceed three feet, they magnify m%ch more than those of a h%ndred
,ith %s, and sho, the stars ,ith greater clearness$ This advantage
has enabled them to extend their discoveries m%ch f%rther than o%r
astronomers in .%ro8e7 for they have made a catalog%e of ten
tho%sand fixed stars, ,hereas the largest of o%rs do not contain
above one third 8art of that n%mber$ They have li&e,ise discovered
t,o lesser stars, or satellites, ,hich revolve abo%t 6ars7 ,hereof
the innermost is distant from the centre of the 8rimary 8lanet
exactly three of his diameters, and the o%termost, five7 the former
revolves in the s8ace of ten ho%rs, and the latter in t,entyFone
and a half7 so that the s9%ares of their 8eriodical times are very
near in the same 8ro8ortion ,ith the c%bes of their distance from
the centre of 6ars7 ,hich evidently sho,s them to be governed by
the same la, of gravitation that infl%ences the other heavenly
They have observed ninetyFthree different comets, and settled their
8eriods ,ith great exactness$ 1f this be tr%e Band they affirm it
,ith great confidenceC it is m%ch to be ,ished, that their
observations ,ere made 8%blic, ,hereby the theory of comets, ,hich
at 8resent is very lame and defective, might be bro%ght to the same
8erfection ,ith other arts of astronomy$
The &ing ,o%ld be the most absol%te 8rince in the %niverse, if he
co%ld b%t 8revail on a ministry to ?oin ,ith him7 b%t these having
their estates belo, on the continent, and considering that the
office of a favo%rite has a very %ncertain ten%re, ,o%ld never
consent to the enslaving of their co%ntry$
1f any to,n sho%ld engage in rebellion or m%tiny, fall into violent
factions, or ref%se to 8ay the %s%al trib%te, the &ing has t,o
methods of red%cing them to obedience$ The first and the mildest
co%rse is, by &ee8ing the island hovering over s%ch a to,n, and the
lands abo%t it, ,hereby he can de8rive them of the benefit of the
s%n and the rain, and conse9%ently afflict the inhabitants ,ith
dearth and diseasesA and if the crime deserve it, they are at the
same time 8elted from above ,ith great stones, against ,hich they
have no defence b%t by cree8ing into cellars or caves, ,hile the
roofs of their ho%ses are beaten to 8ieces$ B%t if they still
contin%e obstinate, or offer to raise ins%rrections, he 8roceeds to
the last remedy, by letting the island dro8 directly %8on their
heads, ,hich ma&es a %niversal destr%ction both of ho%ses and men$
-o,ever, this is an extremity to ,hich the 8rince is seldom driven,
neither indeed is he ,illing to 8%t it in exec%tion7 nor dare his
ministers advise him to an action, ,hich, as it ,o%ld render them
odio%s to the 8eo8le, so it ,o%ld be a great damage to their o,n
estates, ,hich all lie belo,7 for the island is the &ing's demesne$
B%t there is still indeed a more ,eighty reason, ,hy the &ings of
this co%ntry have been al,ays averse from exec%ting so terrible an
action, %nless %8on the %tmost necessity$ <or, if the to,n
intended to be destroyed sho%ld have in it any tall roc&s, as it
generally falls o%t in the larger cities, a sit%ation 8robably
chosen at first ,ith a vie, to 8revent s%ch a catastro8he7 or if it
abo%nd in high s8ires, or 8illars of stone, a s%dden fall might
endanger the bottom or %nder s%rface of the island, ,hich, altho%gh
it consist, as 1 have said, of one entire adamant, t,o h%ndred
yards thic&, might ha88en to crac& by too great a shoc&, or b%rst
by a88roaching too near the fires from the ho%ses belo,, as the
bac&s, both of iron and stone, ,ill often do in o%r chimneys$ 2f
all this the 8eo8le are ,ell a88rised, and %nderstand ho, far to
carry their obstinacy, ,here their liberty or 8ro8erty is
concerned$ 3nd the &ing, ,hen he is highest 8rovo&ed, and most
determined to 8ress a city to r%bbish, orders the island to descend
,ith great gentleness, o%t of a 8retence of tenderness to his
8eo8le, b%t, indeed, for fear of brea&ing the adamantine bottom7 in
,hich case, it is the o8inion of all their 8hiloso8hers, that the
loadstone co%ld no longer hold it %8, and the ,hole mass ,o%ld fall
to the gro%nd$
By a f%ndamental la, of this realm, neither the &ing, nor either of
his t,o eldest sons, are 8ermitted to leave the island7 nor the
9%een, till she is 8ast childFbearing$
:-3PT.( 1=$
4The a%thor leaves 0a8%ta7 is conveyed to Balnibarbi7 arrives at
the metro8olis$ 3 descri8tion of the metro8olis, and the co%ntry
ad?oining$ The a%thor hos8itably received by a great lord$ -is
conversation ,ith that lord$5
3ltho%gh 1 cannot say that 1 ,as ill treated in this island, yet 1
m%st confess 1 tho%ght myself too m%ch neglected, not ,itho%t some
degree of contem8t7 for neither 8rince nor 8eo8le a88eared to be
c%rio%s in any 8art of &no,ledge, exce8t mathematics and m%sic,
,herein 1 ,as far their inferior, and %8on that acco%nt very little
2n the other side, after having seen all the c%riosities of the
island, 1 ,as very desiro%s to leave it, being heartily ,eary of
those 8eo8le$ They ,ere indeed excellent in t,o sciences for ,hich
1 have great esteem, and ,herein 1 am not %nversed7 b%t, at the
same time, so abstracted and involved in s8ec%lation, that 1 never
met ,ith s%ch disagreeable com8anions$ 1 conversed only ,ith
,omen, tradesmen, fla88ers, and co%rtF8ages, d%ring t,o months of
my abode there7 by ,hich, at last, 1 rendered myself extremely
contem8tible7 yet these ,ere the only 8eo8le from ,hom 1 co%ld ever
receive a reasonable ans,er$
1 had obtained, by hard st%dy, a good degree of &no,ledge in their
lang%ageA 1 ,as ,eary of being confined to an island ,here 1
received so little co%ntenance, and resolved to leave it ,ith the
first o88ort%nity$
There ,as a great lord at co%rt, nearly related to the &ing, and
for that reason alone %sed ,ith res8ect$ -e ,as %niversally
rec&oned the most ignorant and st%8id 8erson among them$ -e had
8erformed many eminent services for the cro,n, had great nat%ral
and ac9%ired 8arts, adorned ,ith integrity and hono%r7 b%t so ill
an ear for m%sic, that his detractors re8orted, >he had been often
&no,n to beat time in the ,rong 8lace7> neither co%ld his t%tors,
,itho%t extreme diffic%lty, teach him to demonstrate the most easy
8ro8osition in the mathematics$ -e ,as 8leased to sho, me many
mar&s of favo%r, often did me the hono%r of a visit, desired to be
informed in the affairs of .%ro8e, the la,s and c%stoms, the
manners and learning of the several co%ntries ,here 1 had
travelled$ -e listened to me ,ith great attention, and made very
,ise observations on all 1 s8o&e$ -e had t,o fla88ers attending
him for state, b%t never made %se of them, exce8t at co%rt and in
visits of ceremony, and ,o%ld al,ays command them to ,ithdra,, ,hen
,e ,ere alone together$
1 entreated this ill%strio%s 8erson, to intercede in my behalf ,ith
his ma?esty, for leave to de8art7 ,hich he accordingly did, as he
,as 8leased to tell me, ,ith regretA for indeed he had made me
several offers very advantageo%s, ,hich, ho,ever, 1 ref%sed, ,ith
ex8ressions of the highest ac&no,ledgment$
2n the 1Gth of <ebr%ary 1 too& leave of his ma?esty and the co%rt$
The &ing made me a 8resent to the val%e of abo%t t,o h%ndred 8o%nds
.nglish, and my 8rotector, his &insman, as m%ch more, together ,ith
a letter of recommendation to a friend of his in 0agado, the
metro8olis$ The island being then hovering over a mo%ntain abo%t
t,o miles from it, 1 ,as let do,n from the lo,est gallery, in the
same manner as 1 had been ta&en %8$
The continent, as far as it is s%b?ect to the monarch of the flying
island, 8asses %nder the general name of Balnibarbi7 and the
metro8olis, as 1 said before, is called 0agado$ 1 felt some little
satisfaction in finding myself on firm gro%nd$ 1 ,al&ed to the
city ,itho%t any concern, being clad li&e one of the natives, and
s%fficiently instr%cted to converse ,ith them$ 1 soon fo%nd o%t
the 8erson's ho%se to ,hom 1 ,as recommended, 8resented my letter
from his friend the grandee in the island, and ,as received ,ith
m%ch &indness$ This great lord, ,hose name ,as 6%nodi, ordered me
an a8artment in his o,n ho%se, ,here 1 contin%ed d%ring my stay,
and ,as entertained in a most hos8itable manner$
The next morning after my arrival, he too& me in his chariot to see
the to,n, ,hich is abo%t half the bigness of 0ondon7 b%t the ho%ses
very strangely b%ilt, and most of them o%t of re8air$ The 8eo8le
in the streets ,al&ed fast, loo&ed ,ild, their eyes fixed, and ,ere
generally in rags$ *e 8assed thro%gh one of the to,n gates, and
,ent abo%t three miles into the co%ntry, ,here 1 sa, many labo%rers
,or&ing ,ith several sorts of tools in the gro%nd, b%t ,as not able
to con?ect%re ,hat they ,ere abo%tA neither did observe any
ex8ectation either of corn or grass, altho%gh the soil a88eared to
be excellent$ 1 co%ld not forbear admiring at these odd
a88earances, both in to,n and co%ntry7 and 1 made bold to desire my
cond%ctor, that he ,o%ld be 8leased to ex8lain to me, ,hat co%ld be
meant by so many b%sy heads, hands, and faces, both in the streets
and the fields, beca%se 1 did not discover any good effects they
8rod%ced7 b%t, on the contrary, 1 never &ne, a soil so %nha88ily
c%ltivated, ho%ses so ill contrived and so r%ino%s, or a 8eo8le
,hose co%ntenances and habit ex8ressed so m%ch misery and ,ant$
This lord 6%nodi ,as a 8erson of the first ran&, and had been some
years governor of 0agado7 b%t, by a cabal of ministers, ,as
discharged for ins%fficiency$ -o,ever, the &ing treated him ,ith
tenderness, as a ,ellFmeaning man, b%t of a lo, contem8tible
*hen 1 gave that free cens%re of the co%ntry and its inhabitants,
he made no f%rther ans,er than by telling me, >that 1 had not been
long eno%gh among them to form a ?%dgment7 and that the different
nations of the ,orld had different c%stoms7> ,ith other common
to8ics to the same 8%r8ose$ B%t, ,hen ,e ret%rned to his 8alace,
he as&ed me >ho, 1 li&ed the b%ilding, ,hat abs%rdities 1 observed,
and ,hat 9%arrel 1 had ,ith the dress or loo&s of his domesticsD>
This he might safely do7 beca%se every thing abo%t him ,as
magnificent, reg%lar, and 8olite$ 1 ans,ered, >that his
excellency's 8r%dence, 9%ality, and fort%ne, had exem8ted him from
those defects, ,hich folly and beggary had 8rod%ced in others$> -e
said, >if 1 ,o%ld go ,ith him to his co%ntryFho%se, abo%t t,enty
miles distant, ,here his estate lay, there ,o%ld be more leis%re
for this &ind of conversation$> 1 told his excellency >that 1 ,as
entirely at his dis8osal7> and accordingly ,e set o%t next morning$
D%ring o%r ?o%rney he made me observe the several methods %sed by
farmers in managing their lands, ,hich to me ,ere ,holly
%nacco%ntable7 for, exce8t in some very fe, 8laces, 1 co%ld not
discover one ear of corn or blade of grass$ B%t, in three ho%rs
travelling, the scene ,as ,holly altered7 ,e came into a most
bea%tif%l co%ntry7 farmers' ho%ses, at small distances, neatly
b%ilt7 the fields enclosed, containing vineyards, cornFgro%nds, and
meado,s$ )either do 1 remember to have seen a more delightf%l
8ros8ect$ -is excellency observed my co%ntenance to clear %87 he
told me, ,ith a sigh, >that there his estate began, and ,o%ld
contin%e the same, till ,e sho%ld come to his ho%seA that his
co%ntrymen ridic%led and des8ised him, for managing his affairs no
better, and for setting so ill an exam8le to the &ingdom7 ,hich,
ho,ever, ,as follo,ed by very fe,, s%ch as ,ere old, and ,ilf%l,
and ,ea& li&e himself$>
*e came at length to the ho%se, ,hich ,as indeed a noble str%ct%re,
b%ilt according to the best r%les of ancient architect%re$ The
fo%ntains, gardens, ,al&s, aven%es, and groves, ,ere all dis8osed
,ith exact ?%dgment and taste$ 1 gave d%e 8raises to every thing 1
sa,, ,hereof his excellency too& not the least notice till after
s%88er7 ,hen, there being no third com8anion, he told me ,ith a
very melancholy air >that he do%bted he m%st thro, do,n his ho%ses
in to,n and co%ntry, to reb%ild them after the 8resent mode7
destroy all his 8lantations, and cast others into s%ch a form as
modern %sage re9%ired, and give the same directions to all his
tenants, %nless he ,o%ld s%bmit to inc%r the cens%re of 8ride,
sing%larity, affectation, ignorance, ca8rice, and 8erha8s increase
his ma?esty's dis8leas%re7 that the admiration 1 a88eared to be
%nder ,o%ld cease or diminish, ,hen he had informed me of some
8artic%lars ,hich, 8robably, 1 never heard of at co%rt, the 8eo8le
there being too m%ch ta&en %8 in their o,n s8ec%lations, to have
regard to ,hat 8assed here belo,$>
The s%m of his disco%rse ,as to this effectA >That abo%t forty
years ago, certain 8ersons ,ent %8 to 0a8%ta, either %8on b%siness
or diversion, and, after five months contin%ance, came bac& ,ith a
very little smattering in mathematics, b%t f%ll of volatile s8irits
ac9%ired in that airy regionA that these 8ersons, %8on their
ret%rn, began to disli&e the management of every thing belo,, and
fell into schemes of 8%tting all arts, sciences, lang%ages, and
mechanics, %8on a ne, foot$ To this end, they 8roc%red a royal
8atent for erecting an academy of 8ro?ectors in 0agado7 and the
h%mo%r 8revailed so strongly among the 8eo8le, that there is not a
to,n of any conse9%ence in the &ingdom ,itho%t s%ch an academy$ 1n
these colleges the 8rofessors contrive ne, r%les and methods of
agric%lt%re and b%ilding, and ne, instr%ments, and tools for all
trades and man%fact%res7 ,hereby, as they %nderta&e, one man shall
do the ,or& of ten7 a 8alace may be b%ilt in a ,ee&, of materials
so d%rable as to last for ever ,itho%t re8airing$ 3ll the fr%its
of the earth shall come to mat%rity at ,hatever season ,e thin& fit
to choose, and increase a h%ndred fold more than they do at
8resent7 ,ith inn%merable other ha88y 8ro8osals$ The only
inconvenience is, that none of these 8ro?ects are yet bro%ght to
8erfection7 and in the mean time, the ,hole co%ntry lies miserably
,aste, the ho%ses in r%ins, and the 8eo8le ,itho%t food or clothes$
By all ,hich, instead of being disco%raged, they are fifty times
more violently bent %8on 8rosec%ting their schemes, driven e9%ally
on by ho8e and des8airA that as for himself, being not of an
enter8rising s8irit, he ,as content to go on in the old forms, to
live in the ho%ses his ancestors had b%ilt, and act as they did, in
every 8art of life, ,itho%t innovationA that some fe, other
8ersons of 9%ality and gentry had done the same, b%t ,ere loo&ed on
,ith an eye of contem8t and illF,ill, as enemies to art, ignorant,
and ill commonF,ealth's men, 8referring their o,n ease and sloth
before the general im8rovement of their co%ntry$>
-is lordshi8 added, >That he ,o%ld not, by any f%rther 8artic%lars,
8revent the 8leas%re 1 sho%ld certainly ta&e in vie,ing the grand
academy, ,hither he ,as resolved 1 sho%ld go$> -e only desired me
to observe a r%ined b%ilding, %8on the side of a mo%ntain abo%t
three miles distant, of ,hich he gave me this acco%ntA >That he
had a very convenient mill ,ithin half a mile of his ho%se, t%rned
by a c%rrent from a large river, and s%fficient for his o,n family,
as ,ell as a great n%mber of his tenants7 that abo%t seven years
ago, a cl%b of those 8ro?ectors came to him ,ith 8ro8osals to
destroy this mill, and b%ild another on the side of that mo%ntain,
on the long ridge ,hereof a long canal m%st be c%t, for a
re8ository of ,ater, to be conveyed %8 by 8i8es and engines to
s%88ly the mill, beca%se the ,ind and air %8on a height agitated
the ,ater, and thereby made it fitter for motion, and beca%se the
,ater, descending do,n a declivity, ,o%ld t%rn the mill ,ith half
the c%rrent of a river ,hose co%rse is more %8on a level$> -e
said, >that being then not very ,ell ,ith the co%rt, and 8ressed by
many of his friends, he com8lied ,ith the 8ro8osal7 and after
em8loying a h%ndred men for t,o years, the ,or& miscarried, the
8ro?ectors ,ent off, laying the blame entirely %8on him, railing at
him ever since, and 8%tting others %8on the same ex8eriment, ,ith
e9%al ass%rance of s%ccess, as ,ell as e9%al disa88ointment$>
1n a fe, days ,e came bac& to to,n7 and his excellency, considering
the bad character he had in the academy, ,o%ld not go ,ith me
himself, b%t recommended me to a friend of his, to bear me com8any
thither$ 6y lord ,as 8leased to re8resent me as a great admirer of
8ro?ects, and a 8erson of m%ch c%riosity and easy belief7 ,hich,
indeed, ,as not ,itho%t tr%th7 for 1 had myself been a sort of
8ro?ector in my yo%nger days$
:-3PT.( =$
4The a%thor 8ermitted to see the grand academy of 0agado$ The
academy largely described$ The arts ,herein the 8rofessors em8loy
This academy is not an entire single b%ilding, b%t a contin%ation
of several ho%ses on both sides of a street, ,hich gro,ing ,aste,
,as 8%rchased and a88lied to that %se$
1 ,as received very &indly by the ,arden, and ,ent for many days to
the academy$ .very room has in it one or more 8ro?ectors7 and 1
believe 1 co%ld not be in fe,er than five h%ndred rooms$
The first man 1 sa, ,as of a meagre as8ect, ,ith sooty hands and
face, his hair and beard long, ragged, and singed in several
8laces$ -is clothes, shirt, and s&in, ,ere all of the same colo%r$
-e has been eight years %8on a 8ro?ect for extracting s%nbeams o%t
of c%c%mbers, ,hich ,ere to be 8%t in 8hials hermetically sealed,
and let o%t to ,arm the air in ra, inclement s%mmers$ -e told me,
he did not do%bt, that, in eight years more, he sho%ld be able to
s%88ly the governor's gardens ,ith s%nshine, at a reasonable rateA
b%t he com8lained that his stoc& ,as lo,, and entreated me >to give
him something as an enco%ragement to ingen%ity, es8ecially since
this had been a very dear season for c%c%mbers$> 1 made him a
small 8resent, for my lord had f%rnished me ,ith money on 8%r8ose,
beca%se he &ne, their 8ractice of begging from all ,ho go to see
1 ,ent into another chamber, b%t ,as ready to hasten bac&, being
almost overcome ,ith a horrible stin&$ 6y cond%ctor 8ressed me
for,ard, con?%ring me in a ,his8er >to give no offence, ,hich ,o%ld
be highly resented7> and therefore 1 d%rst not so m%ch as sto8 my
nose$ The 8ro?ector of this cell ,as the most ancient st%dent of
the academy7 his face and beard ,ere of a 8ale yello,7 his hands
and clothes da%bed over ,ith filth$ *hen 1 ,as 8resented to him,
he gave me a close embrace, a com8liment 1 co%ld ,ell have exc%sed$
-is em8loyment, from his first coming into the academy, ,as an
o8eration to red%ce h%man excrement to its original food, by
se8arating the several 8arts, removing the tinct%re ,hich it
receives from the gall, ma&ing the odo%r exhale, and sc%mming off
the saliva$ -e had a ,ee&ly allo,ance, from the society, of a
vessel filled ,ith h%man ord%re, abo%t the bigness of a Bristol
1 sa, another at ,or& to calcine ice into g%n8o,der7 ,ho li&e,ise
sho,ed me a treatise he had ,ritten concerning the malleability of
fire, ,hich he intended to 8%blish$
There ,as a most ingenio%s architect, ,ho had contrived a ne,
method for b%ilding ho%ses, by beginning at the roof, and ,or&ing
do,n,ard to the fo%ndation7 ,hich he ?%stified to me, by the li&e
8ractice of those t,o 8r%dent insects, the bee and the s8ider$
There ,as a man born blind, ,ho had several a88rentices in his o,n
conditionA their em8loyment ,as to mix colo%rs for 8ainters, ,hich
their master ta%ght them to disting%ish by feeling and smelling$
1t ,as indeed my misfort%ne to find them at that time not very
8erfect in their lessons, and the 8rofessor himself ha88ened to be
generally mista&en$ This artist is m%ch enco%raged and esteemed by
the ,hole fraternity$
1n another a8artment 1 ,as highly 8leased ,ith a 8ro?ector ,ho had
fo%nd a device of 8lo%ghing the gro%nd ,ith hogs, to save the
charges of 8lo%ghs, cattle, and labo%r$ The method is thisA in an
acre of gro%nd yo% b%ry, at six inches distance and eight dee8, a
9%antity of acorns, dates, chestn%ts, and other mast or vegetables,
,hereof these animals are fondest7 then yo% drive six h%ndred or
more of them into the field, ,here, in a fe, days, they ,ill root
%8 the ,hole gro%nd in search of their food, and ma&e it fit for
so,ing, at the same time man%ring it ,ith their d%ngA it is tr%e,
%8on ex8eriment, they fo%nd the charge and tro%ble very great, and
they had little or no cro8$ -o,ever it is not do%bted, that this
invention may be ca8able of great im8rovement$
1 ,ent into another room, ,here the ,alls and ceiling ,ere all h%ng
ro%nd ,ith cob,ebs, exce8t a narro, 8assage for the artist to go in
and o%t$ 3t my entrance, he called alo%d to me, >not to dist%rb
his ,ebs$> -e lamented >the fatal mista&e the ,orld had been so
long in, of %sing sil&,orms, ,hile ,e had s%ch 8lenty of domestic
insects ,ho infinitely excelled the former, beca%se they %nderstood
ho, to ,eave, as ,ell as s8in$> 3nd he 8ro8osed f%rther, >that by
em8loying s8iders, the charge of dyeing sil&s sho%ld be ,holly
saved7> ,hereof 1 ,as f%lly convinced, ,hen he sho,ed me a vast
n%mber of flies most bea%tif%lly colo%red, ,here,ith he fed his
s8iders, ass%ring %s >that the ,ebs ,o%ld ta&e a tinct%re from
them7 and as he had them of all h%es, he ho8ed to fit everybody's
fancy, as soon as he co%ld find 8ro8er food for the flies, of
certain g%ms, oils, and other gl%tino%s matter, to give a strength
and consistence to the threads$>
There ,as an astronomer, ,ho had %nderta&en to 8lace a s%nFdial
%8on the great ,eathercoc& on the to,nFho%se, by ad?%sting the
ann%al and di%rnal motions of the earth and s%n, so as to ans,er
and coincide ,ith all accidental t%rnings of the ,ind$
1 ,as com8laining of a small fit of the colic, %8on ,hich my
cond%ctor led me into a room ,here a great 8hysician resided, ,ho
,as famo%s for c%ring that disease, by contrary o8erations from the
same instr%ment$ -e had a large 8air of bello,s, ,ith a long
slender m%EEle of ivoryA this he conveyed eight inches %8 the
an%s, and dra,ing in the ,ind, he affirmed he co%ld ma&e the g%ts
as lan& as a dried bladder$ B%t ,hen the disease ,as more st%bborn
and violent, he let in the m%EEle ,hile the bello,s ,ere f%ll of
,ind, ,hich he discharged into the body of the 8atient7 then
,ithdre, the instr%ment to re8lenish it, cla88ing his th%mb
strongly against the orifice of then f%ndament7 and this being
re8eated three or fo%r times, the adventitio%s ,ind ,o%ld r%sh o%t,
bringing the noxio%s along ,ith it, Bli&e ,ater 8%t into a 8%m8C,
and the 8atient recovered$ 1 sa, him try both ex8eriments %8on a
dog, b%t co%ld not discern any effect from the former$ 3fter the
latter the animal ,as ready to b%rst, and made so violent a
discharge as ,as very offensive to me and my com8anion$ The dog
died on the s8ot, and ,e left the doctor endeavo%ring to recover
him, by the same o8eration$
1 visited many other a8artments, b%t shall not tro%ble my reader
,ith all the c%riosities 1 observed, being st%dio%s of brevity$
1 had hitherto seen only one side of the academy, the other being
a88ro8riated to the advancers of s8ec%lative learning, of ,hom 1
shall say something, ,hen 1 have mentioned one ill%strio%s 8erson
more, ,ho is called among them >the %niversal artist$> -e told %s
>he had been thirty years em8loying his tho%ghts for the
im8rovement of h%man life$> -e had t,o large rooms f%ll of
,onderf%l c%riosities, and fifty men at ,or&$ Some ,ere condensing
air into a dry tangible s%bstance, by extracting the nitre, and
letting the a9%eo%s or fl%id 8articles 8ercolate7 others softening
marble, for 8illo,s and 8inFc%shions7 others 8etrifying the hoofs
of a living horse, to 8reserve them from fo%ndering$ The artist
himself ,as at that time b%sy %8on t,o great designs7 the first, to
so, land ,ith chaff, ,herein he affirmed the tr%e seminal virt%e to
be contained, as he demonstrated by several ex8eriments, ,hich 1
,as not s&ilf%l eno%gh to com8rehend$ The other ,as, by a certain
com8osition of g%ms, minerals, and vegetables, o%t,ardly a88lied,
to 8revent the gro,th of ,ool %8on t,o yo%ng lambs7 and he ho8ed,
in a reasonable time to 8ro8agate the breed of na&ed shee8, all
over the &ingdom$
*e crossed a ,al& to the other 8art of the academy, ,here, as 1
have already said, the 8ro?ectors in s8ec%lative learning resided$
The first 8rofessor 1 sa,, ,as in a very large room, ,ith forty
8%8ils abo%t him$ 3fter sal%tation, observing me to loo& earnestly
%8on a frame, ,hich too& %8 the greatest 8art of both the length
and breadth of the room, he said, >Perha8s 1 might ,onder to see
him em8loyed in a 8ro?ect for im8roving s8ec%lative &no,ledge, by
8ractical and mechanical o8erations$ B%t the ,orld ,o%ld soon be
sensible of its %sef%lness7 and he flattered himself, that a more
noble, exalted tho%ght never s8rang in any other man's head$ .very
one &ne, ho, laborio%s the %s%al method is of attaining to arts and
sciences7 ,hereas, by his contrivance, the most ignorant 8erson, at
a reasonable charge, and ,ith a little bodily labo%r, might ,rite
boo&s in 8hiloso8hy, 8oetry, 8olitics, la,s, mathematics, and
theology, ,itho%t the least assistance from geni%s or st%dy$> -e
then led me to the frame, abo%t the sides, ,hereof all his 8%8ils
stood in ran&s$ 1t ,as t,enty feet s9%are, 8laced in the middle of
the room$ The s%8erfices ,as com8osed of several bits of ,ood,
abo%t the bigness of a die, b%t some larger than others$ They ,ere
all lin&ed together by slender ,ires$ These bits of ,ood ,ere
covered, on every s9%are, ,ith 8a8er 8asted on them7 and on these
8a8ers ,ere ,ritten all the ,ords of their lang%age, in their
several moods, tenses, and declensions7 b%t ,itho%t any order$ The
8rofessor then desired me >to observe7 for he ,as going to set his
engine at ,or&$> The 8%8ils, at his command, too& each of them
hold of an iron handle, ,hereof there ,ere forty fixed ro%nd the
edges of the frame7 and giving them a s%dden t%rn, the ,hole
dis8osition of the ,ords ,as entirely changed$ -e then commanded
sixFandFthirty of the lads, to read the several lines softly, as
they a88eared %8on the frame7 and ,here they fo%nd three or fo%r
,ords together that might ma&e 8art of a sentence, they dictated to
the fo%r remaining boys, ,ho ,ere scribes$ This ,or& ,as re8eated
three or fo%r times, and at every t%rn, the engine ,as so
contrived, that the ,ords shifted into ne, 8laces, as the s9%are
bits of ,ood moved %8side do,n$
Six ho%rs a day the yo%ng st%dents ,ere em8loyed in this labo%r7
and the 8rofessor sho,ed me several vol%mes in large folio, already
collected, of bro&en sentences, ,hich he intended to 8iece
together, and o%t of those rich materials, to give the ,orld a
com8lete body of all arts and sciences7 ,hich, ho,ever, might be
still im8roved, and m%ch ex8edited, if the 8%blic ,o%ld raise a
f%nd for ma&ing and em8loying five h%ndred s%ch frames in 0agado,
and oblige the managers to contrib%te in common their several
-e ass%red me >that this invention had em8loyed all his tho%ghts
from his yo%th7 that he had em8tied the ,hole vocab%lary into his
frame, and made the strictest com8%tation of the general 8ro8ortion
there is in boo&s bet,een the n%mbers of 8articles, no%ns, and
verbs, and other 8arts of s8eech$>
1 made my h%mblest ac&no,ledgment to this ill%strio%s 8erson, for
his great comm%nicativeness7 and 8romised, >if ever 1 had the good
fort%ne to ret%rn to my native co%ntry, that 1 ,o%ld do him
?%stice, as the sole inventor of this ,onderf%l machine7> the form
and contrivance of ,hich 1 desired leave to delineate on 8a8er, as
in the fig%re here annexed$ 1 told him, >altho%gh it ,ere the
c%stom of o%r learned in .%ro8e to steal inventions from each
other, ,ho had thereby at least this advantage, that it became a
controversy ,hich ,as the right o,ner7 yet 1 ,o%ld ta&e s%ch
ca%tion, that he sho%ld have the hono%r entire, ,itho%t a rival$>
*e next ,ent to the school of lang%ages, ,here three 8rofessors sat
in cons%ltation %8on im8roving that of their o,n co%ntry$
The first 8ro?ect ,as, to shorten disco%rse, by c%tting
8olysyllables into one, and leaving o%t verbs and 8artici8les,
beca%se, in reality, all things imaginable are b%t norms$
The other 8ro?ect ,as, a scheme for entirely abolishing all ,ords
,hatsoever7 and this ,as %rged as a great advantage in 8oint of
health, as ,ell as brevity$ <or it is 8lain, that every ,ord ,e
s8ea& is, in some degree, a dimin%tion of o%r l%nge by corrosion,
and, conse9%ently, contrib%tes to the shortening of o%r lives$ 3n
ex8edient ,as therefore offered, >that since ,ords are only names
for things, it ,o%ld be more convenient for all men to carry abo%t
them s%ch things as ,ere necessary to ex8ress a 8artic%lar b%siness
they are to disco%rse on$> 3nd this invention ,o%ld certainly have
ta&en 8lace, to the great ease as ,ell as health of the s%b?ect, if
the ,omen, in con?%nction ,ith the v%lgar and illiterate, had not
threatened to raise a rebellion %nless they might be allo,ed the
liberty to s8ea& ,ith their tong%es, after the manner of their
forefathers7 s%ch constant irreconcilable enemies to science are
the common 8eo8le$ -o,ever, many of the most learned and ,ise
adhere to the ne, scheme of ex8ressing themselves by things7 ,hich
has only this inconvenience attending it, that if a man's b%siness
be very great, and of vario%s &inds, he m%st be obliged, in
8ro8ortion, to carry a greater b%ndle of things %8on his bac&,
%nless he can afford one or t,o strong servants to attend him$ 1
have often beheld t,o of those sages almost sin&ing %nder the
,eight of their 8ac&s, li&e 8edlars among %s, ,ho, ,hen they met in
the street, ,o%ld lay do,n their loads, o8en their sac&s, and hold
conversation for an ho%r together7 then 8%t %8 their im8lements,
hel8 each other to res%me their b%rdens, and ta&e their leave$
B%t for short conversations, a man may carry im8lements in his
8oc&ets, and %nder his arms, eno%gh to s%88ly him7 and in his
ho%se, he cannot be at a loss$ Therefore the room ,here com8any
meet ,ho 8ractise this art, is f%ll of all things, ready at hand,
re9%isite to f%rnish matter for this &ind of artificial converse$
3nother great advantage 8ro8osed by this invention ,as, that it
,o%ld serve as a %niversal lang%age, to be %nderstood in all
civilised nations, ,hose goods and %tensils are generally of the
same &ind, or nearly resembling, so that their %ses might easily be
com8rehended$ 3nd th%s ambassadors ,o%ld be 9%alified to treat
,ith foreign 8rinces, or ministers of state, to ,hose tong%es they
,ere %tter strangers$
1 ,as at the mathematical school, ,here the master ta%ght his
8%8ils after a method scarce imaginable to %s in .%ro8e$ The
8ro8osition, and demonstration, ,ere fairly ,ritten on a thin
,afer, ,ith in& com8osed of a ce8halic tinct%re$ This, the st%dent
,as to s,allo, %8on a fasting stomach, and for three days
follo,ing, eat nothing b%t bread and ,ater$ 3s the ,afer digested,
the tinct%re mo%nted to his brain, bearing the 8ro8osition along
,ith it$ B%t the s%ccess has not hitherto been ans,erable, 8artly
by some error in the 9%ant%m or com8osition, and 8artly by the
8erverseness of lads, to ,hom this bol%s is so na%seo%s, that they
generally steal aside, and discharge it %8,ards, before it can
o8erate7 neither have they been yet 8ers%aded to %se so long an
abstinence, as the 8rescri8tion re9%ires$
:-3PT.( =1$
43 f%rther acco%nt of the academy$ The a%thor 8ro8oses some
im8rovements, ,hich are hono%rably received$5
1n the school of 8olitical 8ro?ectors, 1 ,as b%t ill entertained7
the 8rofessors a88earing, in my ?%dgment, ,holly o%t of their
senses, ,hich is a scene that never fails to ma&e me melancholy$
These %nha88y 8eo8le ,ere 8ro8osing schemes for 8ers%ading monarchs
to choose favo%rites %8on the score of their ,isdom, ca8acity, and
virt%e7 of teaching ministers to cons%lt the 8%blic good7 of
re,arding merit, great abilities, eminent services7 of instr%cting
8rinces to &no, their tr%e interest, by 8lacing it on the same
fo%ndation ,ith that of their 8eo8le7 of choosing for em8loyments
8ersons 9%alified to exercise them, ,ith many other ,ild,
im8ossible chimeras, that never entered before into the heart of
man to conceive7 and confirmed in me the old observation, >that
there is nothing so extravagant and irrational, ,hich some
8hiloso8hers have not maintained for tr%th$>
B%t, ho,ever, 1 shall so far do ?%stice to this 8art of the
3cademy, as to ac&no,ledge that all of them ,ere not so visionary$
There ,as a most ingenio%s doctor, ,ho seemed to be 8erfectly
versed in the ,hole nat%re and system of government$ This
ill%strio%s 8erson had very %sef%lly em8loyed his st%dies, in
finding o%t effect%al remedies for all diseases and corr%8tions to
,hich the several &inds of 8%blic administration are s%b?ect, by
the vices or infirmities of those ,ho govern, as ,ell as by the
licentio%sness of those ,ho are to obey$ <or instanceA ,hereas
all ,riters and reasoners have agreed, that there is a strict
%niversal resemblance bet,een the nat%ral and the 8olitical body7
can there be any thing more evident, than that the health of both
m%st be 8reserved, and the diseases c%red, by the same
8rescri8tionsD 1t is allo,ed, that senates and great co%ncils are
often tro%bled ,ith red%ndant, eb%llient, and other 8eccant
h%mo%rs7 ,ith many diseases of the head, and more of the heart7
,ith strong conv%lsions, ,ith grievo%s contractions of the nerves
and sine,s in both hands, b%t es8ecially the right7 ,ith s8leen,
flat%s, vertigos, and deliri%ms7 ,ith scrof%lo%s t%mo%rs, f%ll of
fetid 8%r%lent matter7 ,ith so%r frothy r%ctationsA ,ith canine
a88etites, and cr%deness of digestion, besides many others,
needless to mention$ This doctor therefore 8ro8osed, >that %8on
the meeting of the senate, certain 8hysicians sho%ld attend it the
three first days of their sitting, and at the close of each day's
debate feel the 8%lses of every senator7 after ,hich, having
mat%rely considered and cons%lted %8on the nat%re of the several
maladies, and the methods of c%re, they sho%ld on the fo%rth day
ret%rn to the senate ho%se, attended by their a8othecaries stored
,ith 8ro8er medicines7 and before the members sat, administer to
each of them lenitives, a8eritives, abstersives, corrosives,
restringents, 8alliatives, laxatives, ce8halalgics, icterics,
a8o8hlegmatics, aco%stics, as their several cases re9%ired7 and,
according as these medicines sho%ld o8erate, re8eat, alter, or omit
them, at the next meeting$>
This 8ro?ect co%ld not be of any great ex8ense to the 8%blic7 and
might in my 8oor o8inion, be of m%ch %se for the des8atch of
b%siness, in those co%ntries ,here senates have any share in the
legislative 8o,er7 beget %nanimity, shorten debates, o8en a fe,
mo%ths ,hich are no, closed, and close many more ,hich are no,
o8en7 c%rb the 8et%lancy of the yo%ng, and correct the 8ositiveness
of the old7 ro%se the st%8id, and dam8 the 8ert$
3gainA beca%se it is a general com8laint, that the favo%rites of
8rinces are tro%bled ,ith short and ,ea& memories7 the same doctor
8ro8osed, >that ,hoever attended a first minister, after having
told his b%siness, ,ith the %tmost brevity and in the 8lainest
,ords, sho%ld, at his de8art%re, give the said minister a t,ea& by
the nose, or a &ic& in the belly, or tread on his corns, or l%g him
thrice by both ears, or r%n a 8in into his breech7 or 8inch his arm
blac& and bl%e, to 8revent forgetf%lness7 and at every levee day,
re8eat the same o8eration, till the b%siness ,ere done, or
absol%tely ref%sed$>
-e li&e,ise directed, >that every senator in the great co%ncil of a
nation, after he had delivered his o8inion, and arg%ed in the
defence of it, sho%ld be obliged to give his vote directly
contrary7 beca%se if that ,ere done, the res%lt ,o%ld infallibly
terminate in the good of the 8%blic$>
*hen 8arties in a state are violent, he offered a ,onderf%l
contrivance to reconcile them$ The method is thisA ;o% ta&e a
h%ndred leaders of each 8arty7 yo% dis8ose them into co%8les of
s%ch ,hose heads are nearest of a siEe7 then let t,o nice o8erators
sa, off the occi8%t of each co%8le at the same time, in s%ch a
manner that the brain may be e9%ally divided$ 0et the occi8%ts,
th%s c%t off, be interchanged, a88lying each to the head of his
o88osite 8artyFman$ 1t seems indeed to be a ,or& that re9%ires
some exactness, b%t the 8rofessor ass%red %s, >that if it ,ere
dextero%sly 8erformed, the c%re ,o%ld be infallible$> <or he
arg%ed th%sA >that the t,o half brains being left to debate the
matter bet,een themselves ,ithin the s8ace of one s&%ll, ,o%ld soon
come to a good %nderstanding, and 8rod%ce that moderation, as ,ell
as reg%larity of thin&ing, so m%ch to be ,ished for in the heads of
those, ,ho imagine they come into the ,orld only to ,atch and
govern its motionA and as to the difference of brains, in 9%antity
or 9%ality, among those ,ho are directors in faction, the doctor
ass%red %s, from his o,n &no,ledge, that >it ,as a 8erfect trifle$>
1 heard a very ,arm debate bet,een t,o 8rofessors, abo%t the most
commodio%s and effect%al ,ays and means of raising money, ,itho%t
grieving the s%b?ect$ The first affirmed, >the ?%stest method
,o%ld be, to lay a certain tax %8on vices and folly7 and the s%m
fixed %8on every man to be rated, after the fairest manner, by a
?%ry of his neighbo%rs$> The second ,as of an o8inion directly
contrary7 >to tax those 9%alities of body and mind, for ,hich men
chiefly val%e themselves7 the rate to be more or less, according to
the degrees of excelling7 the decision ,hereof sho%ld be left
entirely to their o,n breast$> The highest tax ,as %8on men ,ho
are the greatest favo%rites of the other sex, and the assessments,
according to the n%mber and nat%re of the favo%rs they have
received7 for ,hich, they are allo,ed to be their o,n vo%chers$
*it, valo%r, and 8oliteness, ,ere li&e,ise 8ro8osed to be largely
taxed, and collected in the same manner, by every 8erson's giving
his o,n ,ord for the 9%ant%m of ,hat he 8ossessed$ B%t as to
hono%r, ?%stice, ,isdom, and learning, they sho%ld not be taxed at
all7 beca%se they are 9%alifications of so sing%lar a &ind, that no
man ,ill either allo, them in his neighbo%r or val%e them in
The ,omen ,ere 8ro8osed to be taxed according to their bea%ty and
s&ill in dressing, ,herein they had the same 8rivilege ,ith the
men, to be determined by their o,n ?%dgment$ B%t constancy,
chastity, good sense, and good nat%re, ,ere not rated, beca%se they
,o%ld not bear the charge of collecting$
To &ee8 senators in the interest of the cro,n, it ,as 8ro8osed that
the members sho%ld raffle for em8loyment7 every man first ta&ing an
oath, and giving sec%rity, that he ,o%ld vote for the co%rt,
,hether he ,on or not7 after ,hich, the losers had, in their t%rn,
the liberty of raffling %8on the next vacancy$ Th%s, ho8e and
ex8ectation ,o%ld be &e8t alive7 none ,o%ld com8lain of bro&en
8romises, b%t im8%te their disa88ointments ,holly to fort%ne, ,hose
sho%lders are broader and stronger than those of a ministry$
3nother 8rofessor sho,ed me a large 8a8er of instr%ctions for
discovering 8lots and cons8iracies against the government$ -e
advised great statesmen to examine into the diet of all s%s8ected
8ersons7 their times of eating7 %8on ,hich side they lay in bed7
,ith ,hich hand they ,i8e their 8osteriors7 ta&e a strict vie, of
their excrements, and, from the colo%r, the odo%r, the taste, the
consistence, the cr%deness or mat%rity of digestion, form a
?%dgment of their tho%ghts and designs7 beca%se men are never so
serio%s, tho%ghtf%l, and intent, as ,hen they are at stool, ,hich
he fo%nd by fre9%ent ex8eriment7 for, in s%ch con?%nct%res, ,hen he
%sed, merely as a trial, to consider ,hich ,as the best ,ay of
m%rdering the &ing, his ord%re ,o%ld have a tinct%re of green7 b%t
9%ite different, ,hen he tho%ght only of raising an ins%rrection,
or b%rning the metro8olis$
The ,hole disco%rse ,as ,ritten ,ith great ac%teness, containing
many observations, both c%rio%s and %sef%l for 8oliticians7 b%t, as
1 conceived, not altogether com8lete$ This 1 vent%red to tell the
a%thor, and offered, if he 8leased, to s%88ly him ,ith some
additions$ -e received my 8ro8osition ,ith more com8liance than is
%s%al among ,riters, es8ecially those of the 8ro?ecting s8ecies,
8rofessing >he ,o%ld be glad to receive f%rther information$>
1 told him, >that in the &ingdom of Tribnia, JHK by the natives
called 0angdon, J"K ,here 1 had so?o%rned some time in my travels,
the b%l& of the 8eo8le consist in a manner ,holly of discoverers,
,itnesses, informers, acc%sers, 8rosec%tors, evidences, s,earers,
together ,ith their several s%bservient and s%baltern instr%ments,
all %nder the colo%rs, the cond%ct, and the 8ay of ministers of
state, and their de8%ties$ The 8lots, in that &ingdom, are %s%ally
the ,or&manshi8 of those 8ersons ,ho desire to raise their o,n
characters of 8rofo%nd 8oliticians7 to restore ne, vigo%r to a
craEy administration7 to stifle or divert general discontents7 to
fill their coffers ,ith forfeit%res7 and raise, or sin& the o8inion
of 8%blic credit, as either shall best ans,er their 8rivate
advantage$ 1t is first agreed and settled among them, ,hat
s%s8ected 8ersons shall be acc%sed of a 8lot7 then, effect%al care
is ta&en to sec%re all their letters and 8a8ers, and 8%t the o,ners
in chains$ These 8a8ers are delivered to a set of artists, very
dextero%s in finding o%t the mysterio%s meanings of ,ords,
syllables, and lettersA for instance, they can discover a close
stool, to signify a 8rivy co%ncil7 a floc& of geese, a senate7 a
lame dog, an invader7 the 8lag%e, a standing army7 a b%EEard, a
8rime minister7 the go%t, a high 8riest7 a gibbet, a secretary of
state7 a chamber 8ot, a committee of grandees7 a sieve, a co%rt
lady7 a broom, a revol%tion7 a mo%seFtra8, an em8loyment7 a
bottomless 8it, a treas%ry7 a sin&, a co%rt7 a ca8 and bells, a
favo%rite7 a bro&en reed, a co%rt of ?%stice7 an em8ty t%n, a
general7 a r%nning sore, the administration$ JIK
>*hen this method fails, they have t,o others more effect%al, ,hich
the learned among them call acrostics and anagrams$ <irst, they
can deci8her all initial letters into 8olitical meanings$ Th%s ),
shall signify a 8lot7 B, a regiment of horse7 0, a fleet at sea7
or, secondly, by trans8osing the letters of the al8habet in any
s%s8ected 8a8er, they can lay o8en the dee8est designs of a
discontented 8arty$ So, for exam8le, if 1 sho%ld say, in a letter
to a friend, '2%r brother Tom has ?%st got the 8iles,' a s&ilf%l
deci8herer ,o%ld discover, that the same letters ,hich com8ose that
sentence, may be analysed into the follo,ing ,ords, '(esist F, a
8lot is bro%ght homeFFThe to%r$' 3nd this is the anagrammatic
The 8rofessor made me great ac&no,ledgments for comm%nicating these
observations, and 8romised to ma&e hono%rable mention of me in his
1 sa, nothing in this co%ntry that co%ld invite me to a longer
contin%ance, and began to thin& of ret%rning home to .ngland$
:-3PT.( =11$
4The a%thor leaves 0agadoA arrives at 6aldonada$ )o shi8 ready$
-e ta&es a short voyage to Gl%bbd%bdrib$ -is rece8tion by the
The continent, of ,hich this &ingdom is a8art, extends itself, as 1
have reason to believe, east,ard, to that %n&no,n tract of 3merica
,est,ard of :alifornia7 and north, to the Pacific 2cean, ,hich is
not above a h%ndred and fifty miles from 0agado7 ,here there is a
good 8ort, and m%ch commerce ,ith the great island of 0%ggnagg,
sit%ated to the northF,est abo%t 29 degrees north latit%de, and 1"
longit%de$ This island of 0%ggnagg stands so%thFeast,ard of +a8an,
abo%t a h%ndred leag%es distant$ There is a strict alliance
bet,een the +a8anese em8eror and the &ing of 0%ggnagg7 ,hich
affords fre9%ent o88ort%nities of sailing from one island to the
other$ 1 determined therefore to direct my co%rse this ,ay, in
order to my ret%rn to .%ro8e$ 1 hired t,o m%les, ,ith a g%ide, to
sho, me the ,ay, and carry my small baggage$ 1 too& leave of my
noble 8rotector, ,ho had sho,n me so m%ch favo%r, and made me a
genero%s 8resent at my de8art%re$
6y ?o%rney ,as ,itho%t any accident or advent%re ,orth relating$
*hen 1 arrived at the 8ort of 6aldonada Bfor so it is calledC there
,as no shi8 in the harbo%r bo%nd for 0%ggnagg, nor li&ely to be in
some time$ The to,n is abo%t as large as Portsmo%th$ 1 soon fell
into some ac9%aintance, and ,as very hos8itably received$ 3
gentleman of distinction said to me, >that since the shi8s bo%nd
for 0%ggnagg co%ld not be ready in less than a month, it might be
no disagreeable am%sement for me to ta&e a tri8 to the little
island of Gl%bbd%bdrib, abo%t five leag%es off to the so%thF,est$>
-e offered himself and a friend to accom8any me, and that 1 sho%ld
be 8rovided ,ith a small convenient bar& for the voyage$
Gl%bbd%bdrib, as nearly as 1 can inter8ret the ,ord, signifies the
island of sorcerers or magicians$ 1t is abo%t one third as large
as the 1sle of *ight, and extremely fr%itf%lA it is governed by
the head of a certain tribe, ,ho are all magicians$ This tribe
marries only among each other, and the eldest in s%ccession is
8rince or governor$ -e has a noble 8alace, and a 8ar& of abo%t
three tho%sand acres, s%rro%nded by a ,all of he,n stone t,enty
feet high$ 1n this 8ar& are several small enclos%res for cattle,
corn, and gardening$
The governor and his family are served and attended by domestics of
a &ind some,hat %n%s%al$ By his s&ill in necromancy he has a 8o,er
of calling ,hom he 8leases from the dead, and commanding their
service for t,entyFfo%r ho%rs, b%t no longer7 nor can he call the
same 8ersons %8 again in less than three months, exce8t %8on very
extraordinary occasions$
*hen ,e arrived at the island, ,hich ,as abo%t eleven in the
morning, one of the gentlemen ,ho accom8anied me ,ent to the
governor, and desired admittance for a stranger, ,ho came on
8%r8ose to have the hono%r of attending on his highness$ This ,as
immediately granted, and ,e all three entered the gate of the
8alace bet,een t,o ro,s of g%ards, armed and dressed after a very
antic manner, and ,ith something in their co%ntenances that made my
flesh cree8 ,ith a horror 1 cannot ex8ress$ *e 8assed thro%gh
several a8artments, bet,een servants of the same sort, ran&ed on
each side as before, till ,e came to the chamber of 8resence7
,here, after three 8rofo%nd obeisances, and a fe, general
9%estions, ,e ,ere 8ermitted to sit on three stools, near the
lo,est ste8 of his highness's throne$ -e %nderstood the lang%age
of Balnibarbi, altho%gh it ,as different from that of this island$
-e desired me to give him some acco%nt of my travels7 and, to let
me see that 1 sho%ld be treated ,itho%t ceremony, he dismissed all
his attendants ,ith a t%rn of his finger7 at ,hich, to my great
astonishment, they vanished in an instant, li&e visions in a dream
,hen ,e a,a&e on a s%dden$ 1 co%ld not recover myself in some
time, till the governor ass%red me, >that 1 sho%ld receive no
h%rtA> and observing my t,o com8anions to be %nder no concern, ,ho
had been often entertained in the same manner, 1 began to ta&e
co%rage, and related to his highness a short history of my several
advent%res7 yet not ,itho%t some hesitation, and fre9%ently loo&ing
behind me to the 8lace ,here 1 had seen those domestic s8ectres$ 1
had the hono%r to dine ,ith the governor, ,here a ne, set of ghosts
served %8 the meat, and ,aited at table$ 1 no, observed myself to
be less terrified than 1 had been in the morning$ 1 stayed till
s%nset, b%t h%mbly desired his highness to exc%se me for not
acce8ting his invitation of lodging in the 8alace$ 6y t,o friends
and 1 lay at a 8rivate ho%se in the to,n ad?oining, ,hich is the
ca8ital of this little island7 and the next morning ,e ret%rned to
8ay o%r d%ty to the governor, as he ,as 8leased to command %s$
3fter this manner ,e contin%ed in the island for ten days, most
8art of every day ,ith the governor, and at night in o%r lodging$
1 soon gre, so familiariEed to the sight of s8irits, that after the
third or fo%rth time they gave me no emotion at allA or, if 1 had
any a88rehensions left, my c%riosity 8revailed over them$ <or his
highness the governor ordered me >to call %8 ,hatever 8ersons 1
,o%ld choose to name, and in ,hatever n%mbers, among all the dead
from the beginning of the ,orld to the 8resent time, and command
them to ans,er any 9%estions 1 sho%ld thin& fit to as&7 ,ith this
condition, that my 9%estions m%st be confined ,ithin the com8ass of
the times they lived in$ 3nd one thing 1 might de8end %8on, that
they ,o%ld certainly tell me the tr%th, for lying ,as a talent of
no %se in the lo,er ,orld$>
1 made my h%mble ac&no,ledgments to his highness for so great a
favo%r$ *e ,ere in a chamber, from ,hence there ,as a fair
8ros8ect into the 8ar&$ 3nd beca%se my first inclination ,as to be
entertained ,ith scenes of 8om8 and magnificence, 1 desired to see
3lexander the Great at the head of his army, ?%st after the battle
of 3rbelaA ,hich, %8on a motion of the governor's finger,
immediately a88eared in a large field, %nder the ,indo, ,here ,e
stood$ 3lexander ,as called %8 into the roomA it ,as ,ith great
diffic%lty that 1 %nderstood his Gree&, and had b%t little of my
o,n$ -e ass%red me %8on his hono%r >that he ,as not 8oisoned, b%t
died of a bad fever by excessive drin&ing$>
)ext, 1 sa, -annibal 8assing the 3l8s, ,ho told me >he had not a
dro8 of vinegar in his cam8$>
1 sa, :aesar and Pom8ey at the head of their troo8s, ?%st ready to
engage$ 1 sa, the former, in his last great tri%m8h$ 1 desired
that the senate of (ome might a88ear before me, in one large
chamber, and an assembly of some,hat a later age in co%ntervie,, in
another$ The first seemed to be an assembly of heroes and
demigods7 the other, a &not of 8edlars, 8ic&F8oc&ets, high,ayman,
and b%llies$
The governor, at my re9%est, gave the sign for :aesar and Br%t%s to
advance to,ards %s$ 1 ,as str%c& ,ith a 8rofo%nd veneration at the
sight of Br%t%s, and co%ld easily discover the most cons%mmate
virt%e, the greatest intre8idity and firmness of mind, the tr%est
love of his co%ntry, and general benevolence for man&ind, in every
lineament of his co%ntenance$ 1 observed, ,ith m%ch 8leas%re, that
these t,o 8ersons ,ere in good intelligence ,ith each other7 and
:aesar freely confessed to me, >that the greatest actions of his
o,n life ,ere not e9%al, by many degrees, to the glory of ta&ing it
a,ay$> 1 had the hono%r to have m%ch conversation ,ith Br%t%s7 and
,as told, >that his ancestor +%ni%s, Socrates, .8aminondas, :ato
the yo%nger, Sir Thomas 6ore, and himself ,ere 8er8et%ally
togetherA> a sext%mvirate, to ,hich all the ages of the ,orld
cannot add a seventh$
1t ,o%ld be tedio%s to tro%ble the reader ,ith relating ,hat vast
n%mbers of ill%strio%s 8ersons ,ere called %8 to gratify that
insatiable desire 1 had to see the ,orld in every 8eriod of
anti9%ity 8laced before me$ 1 chiefly fed mine eyes ,ith beholding
the destroyers of tyrants and %s%r8ers, and the restorers of
liberty to o88ressed and in?%red nations$ B%t it is im8ossible to
ex8ress the satisfaction 1 received in my o,n mind, after s%ch a
manner as to ma&e it a s%itable entertainment to the reader$
:-3PT.( =111$
43 f%rther acco%nt of Gl%bbd%bdrib$ 3ncient and modern history
-aving a desire to see those ancients ,ho ,ere most reno,ned for
,it and learning, 1 set a8art one day on 8%r8ose$ 1 8ro8osed that
-omer and 3ristotle might a88ear at the head of all their
commentators7 b%t these ,ere so n%mero%s, that some h%ndreds ,ere
forced to attend in the co%rt, and o%t,ard rooms of the 8alace$ 1
&ne,, and co%ld disting%ish those t,o heroes, at first sight, not
only from the cro,d, b%t from each other$ -omer ,as the taller and
comelier 8erson of the t,o, ,al&ed very erect for one of his age,
and his eyes ,ere the most 9%ic& and 8iercing 1 ever beheld$
3ristotle stoo8ed m%ch, and made %se of a staff$ -is visage ,as
meagre, his hair lan& and thin, and his voice hollo,$ 1 soon
discovered that both of them ,ere 8erfect strangers to the rest of
the com8any, and had never seen or heard of them before7 and 1 had
a ,his8er from a ghost ,ho shall be nameless, >that these
commentators al,ays &e8t in the most distant 9%arters from their
8rinci8als, in the lo,er ,orld, thro%gh a conscio%sness of shame
and g%ilt, beca%se they had so horribly misre8resented the meaning
of those a%thors to 8osterity$> 1 introd%ced Didym%s and
.%stathi%s to -omer, and 8revailed on him to treat them better than
8erha8s they deserved, for he soon fo%nd they ,anted a geni%s to
enter into the s8irit of a 8oet$ B%t 3ristotle ,as o%t of all
8atience ,ith the acco%nt 1 gave him of Scot%s and (am%s, as 1
8resented them to him7 and he as&ed them, >,hether the rest of the
tribe ,ere as great d%nces as themselvesD>
1 then desired the governor to call %8 Descartes and Gassendi, ,ith
,hom 1 8revailed to ex8lain their systems to 3ristotle$ This great
8hiloso8her freely ac&no,ledged his o,n mista&es in nat%ral
8hiloso8hy, beca%se he 8roceeded in many things %8on con?ect%re, as
all men m%st do7 and he fo%nd that Gassendi, ,ho had made the
doctrine of .8ic%r%s as 8alatable as he co%ld, and the vortices of
Descartes, ,ere e9%ally to be ex8loded$ -e 8redicted the same fate
to 3TT(3:T12), ,hereof the 8resent learned are s%ch Eealo%s
asserters$ -e said, >that ne, systems of nat%re ,ere b%t ne,
fashions, ,hich ,o%ld vary in every age7 and even those, ,ho
8retend to demonstrate them from mathematical 8rinci8les, ,o%ld
flo%rish b%t a short 8eriod of time, and be o%t of vog%e ,hen that
,as determined$>
1 s8ent five days in conversing ,ith many others of the ancient
learned$ 1 sa, most of the first (oman em8erors$ 1 8revailed on
the governor to call %8 -eliogabal%s's coo&s to dress %s a dinner,
b%t they co%ld not sho, %s m%ch of their s&ill, for ,ant of
materials$ 3 helot of 3gesila%s made %s a dish of S8artan broth,
b%t 1 ,as not able to get do,n a second s8oonf%l$
The t,o gentlemen, ,ho cond%cted me to the island, ,ere 8ressed by
their 8rivate affairs to ret%rn in three days, ,hich 1 em8loyed in
seeing some of the modern dead, ,ho had made the greatest fig%re,
for t,o or three h%ndred years 8ast, in o%r o,n and other co%ntries
of .%ro8e7 and having been al,ays a great admirer of old
ill%strio%s families, 1 desired the governor ,o%ld call %8 a doEen
or t,o of &ings, ,ith their ancestors in order for eight or nine
generations$ B%t my disa88ointment ,as grievo%s and %nex8ected$
<or, instead of a long train ,ith royal diadems, 1 sa, in one
family t,o fiddlers, three s8r%ce co%rtiers, and an 1talian
8relate$ 1n another, a barber, an abbot, and t,o cardinals$ 1
have too great a veneration for cro,ned heads, to d,ell any longer
on so nice a s%b?ect$ B%t as to co%nts, mar9%ises, d%&es, earls,
and the li&e, 1 ,as not so scr%8%lo%s$ 3nd 1 confess, it ,as not
,itho%t some 8leas%re, that 1 fo%nd myself able to trace the
8artic%lar feat%res, by ,hich certain families are disting%ished,
%8 to their originals$ 1 co%ld 8lainly discover ,hence one family
derives a long chin7 ,hy a second has abo%nded ,ith &naves for t,o
generations, and fools for t,o more7 ,hy a third ha88ened to be
crac&Fbrained, and a fo%rth to be shar8ers7 ,hence it came, ,hat
Polydore =irgil says of a certain great ho%se, )ec vir fortis, nec
foemina casta7 ho, cr%elty, falsehood, and co,ardice, gre, to be
characteristics by ,hich certain families are disting%ished as m%ch
as by their coats of arms7 ,ho first bro%ght the 8ox into a noble
ho%se, ,hich has lineally descended scrof%lo%s t%mo%rs to their
8osterity$ )either co%ld 1 ,onder at all this, ,hen 1 sa, s%ch an
interr%8tion of lineages, by 8ages, lac&eys, valets, coachmen,
gamesters, fiddlers, 8layers, ca8tains, and 8ic&8oc&ets$
1 ,as chiefly disg%sted ,ith modern history$ <or having strictly
examined all the 8ersons of greatest name in the co%rts of 8rinces,
for a h%ndred years 8ast, 1 fo%nd ho, the ,orld had been misled by
8rostit%te ,riters, to ascribe the greatest ex8loits in ,ar, to
co,ards7 the ,isest co%nsel, to fools7 sincerity, to flatterers7
(oman virt%e, to betrayers of their co%ntry7 8iety, to atheists7
chastity, to sodomites7 tr%th, to informersA ho, many innocent and
excellent 8ersons had been condemned to death or banishment by the
8ractising of great ministers %8on the corr%8tion of ?%dges, and
the malice of factionsA ho, many villains had been exalted to the
highest 8laces of tr%st, 8o,er, dignity, and 8rofitA ho, great a
share in the motions and events of co%rts, co%ncils, and senates
might be challenged by ba,ds, ,hores, 8im8s, 8arasites, and
b%ffoons$ -o, lo, an o8inion 1 had of h%man ,isdom and integrity,
,hen 1 ,as tr%ly informed of the s8rings and motives of great
enter8rises and revol%tions in the ,orld, and of the contem8tible
accidents to ,hich they o,ed their s%ccess$
-ere 1 discovered the rog%ery and ignorance of those ,ho 8retend to
,rite anecdotes, or secret history7 ,ho send so many &ings to their
graves ,ith a c%8 of 8oison7 ,ill re8eat the disco%rse bet,een a
8rince and chief minister, ,here no ,itness ,as by7 %nloc& the
tho%ghts and cabinets of ambassadors and secretaries of state7 and
have the 8er8et%al misfort%ne to be mista&en$ -ere 1 discovered
the tr%e ca%ses of many great events that have s%r8rised the ,orld7
ho, a ,hore can govern the bac&Fstairs, the bac&Fstairs a co%ncil,
and the co%ncil a senate$ 3 general confessed, in my 8resence,
>that he got a victory 8%rely by the force of co,ardice and ill
cond%ct7> and an admiral, >that, for ,ant of 8ro8er intelligence,
he beat the enemy, to ,hom he intended to betray the fleet$> Three
&ings 8rotested to me, >that in their ,hole reigns they never did
once 8refer any 8erson of merit, %nless by mista&e, or treachery of
some minister in ,hom they confided7 neither ,o%ld they do it if
they ,ere to live againA> and they sho,ed, ,ith great strength of
reason, >that the royal throne co%ld not be s%88orted ,itho%t
corr%8tion, beca%se that 8ositive, confident, restiff tem8er, ,hich
virt%e inf%sed into a man, ,as a 8er8et%al clog to 8%blic
1 had the c%riosity to in9%ire in a 8artic%lar manner, by ,hat
methods great n%mbers had 8roc%red to themselves high titles of
hono%r, and 8rodigio%s estates7 and 1 confined my in9%iry to a very
modern 8eriodA ho,ever, ,itho%t grating %8on 8resent times,
beca%se 1 ,o%ld be s%re to give no offence even to foreigners Bfor
1 ho8e the reader need not be told, that 1 do not in the least
intend my o,n co%ntry, in ,hat 1 say %8on this occasion,C a great
n%mber of 8ersons concerned ,ere called %87 and, %8on a very slight
examination, discovered s%ch a scene of infamy, that 1 cannot
reflect %8on it ,itho%t some serio%sness$ Per?%ry, o88ression,
s%bornation, fra%d, 8andarism, and the li&e infirmities, ,ere among
the most exc%sable arts they had to mention7 and for these 1 gave,
as it ,as reasonable, great allo,ance$ B%t ,hen some confessed
they o,ed their greatness and ,ealth to sodomy, or incest7 others,
to the 8rostit%ting of their o,n ,ives and da%ghters7 others, to
the betraying of their co%ntry or their 8rince7 some, to 8oisoning7
more to the 8erverting of ?%stice, in order to destroy the
innocent, 1 ho8e 1 may be 8ardoned, if these discoveries inclined
me a little to abate of that 8rofo%nd veneration, ,hich 1 am
nat%rally a8t to 8ay to 8ersons of high ran&, ,ho o%ght to be
treated ,ith the %tmost res8ect d%e to their s%blime dignity, by %s
their inferiors$
1 had often read of some great services done to 8rinces and states,
and desired to see the 8ersons by ,hom those services ,ere
8erformed$ /8on in9%iry 1 ,as told, >that their names ,ere to be
fo%nd on no record, exce8t a fe, of them, ,hom history has
re8resented as the vilest of rog%es and traitors$> 3s to the rest,
1 had never once heard of them$ They all a88eared ,ith de?ected
loo&s, and in the meanest habit7 most of them telling me, >they
died in 8overty and disgrace, and the rest on a scaffold or a
3mong others, there ,as one 8erson, ,hose case a88eared a little
sing%lar$ -e had a yo%th abo%t eighteen years old standing by his
side$ -e told me, >he had for many years been commander of a shi87
and in the sea fight at 3cti%m had the good fort%ne to brea&
thro%gh the enemy's great line of battle, sin& three of their
ca8ital shi8s, and ta&e a fo%rth, ,hich ,as the sole ca%se of
3ntony's flight, and of the victory that ens%ed7 that the yo%th
standing by him, his only son, ,as &illed in the action$> -e
added, >that %8on the confidence of some merit, the ,ar being at an
end, he ,ent to (ome, and solicited at the co%rt of 3%g%st%s to be
8referred to a greater shi8, ,hose commander had been &illed7 b%t,
,itho%t any regard to his 8retensions, it ,as given to a boy ,ho
had never seen the sea, the son of 0ibertina, ,ho ,aited on one of
the em8eror's mistresses$ (et%rning bac& to his o,n vessel, he ,as
charged ,ith neglect of d%ty, and the shi8 given to a favo%rite
8age of P%blicola, the viceFadmiral7 ,here%8on he retired to a 8oor
farm at a great distance from (ome, and there ended his life$> 1
,as so c%rio%s to &no, the tr%th of this story, that 1 desired
3gri88a might be called, ,ho ,as admiral in that fight$ -e
a88eared, and confirmed the ,hole acco%ntA b%t ,ith m%ch more
advantage to the ca8tain, ,hose modesty had exten%ated or concealed
a great 8art of his merit$
1 ,as s%r8rised to find corr%8tion gro,n so high and so 9%ic& in
that em8ire, by the force of l%x%ry so lately introd%ced7 ,hich
made me less ,onder at many 8arallel cases in other co%ntries,
,here vices of all &inds have reigned so m%ch longer, and ,here the
,hole 8raise, as ,ell as 8illage, has been engrossed by the chief
commander, ,ho 8erha8s had the least title to either$
3s every 8erson called %8 made exactly the same a88earance he had
done in the ,orld, it gave me melancholy reflections to observe ho,
m%ch the race of h%man &ind ,as degenerated among %s ,ithin these
h%ndred years 8ast7 ho, the 8ox, %nder all its conse9%ences and
denominations had altered every lineament of an .nglish
co%ntenance7 shortened the siEe of bodies, %nbraced the nerves,
relaxed the sine,s and m%scles, introd%ced a sallo, com8lexion, and
rendered the flesh loose and rancid$
1 descended so lo,, as to desire some .nglish yeoman of the old
stam8 might be s%mmoned to a88ear7 once so famo%s for the
sim8licity of their manners, diet, and dress7 for ?%stice in their
dealings7 for their tr%e s8irit of liberty7 for their valo%r, and
love of their co%ntry$ )either co%ld 1 be ,holly %nmoved, after
com8aring the living ,ith the dead, ,hen 1 considered ho, all these
8%re native virt%es ,ere 8rostit%ted for a 8iece of money by their
grandFchildren7 ,ho, in selling their votes and managing at
elections, have ac9%ired every vice and corr%8tion that can
8ossibly be learned in a co%rt$
:-3PT.( 1N$
4The a%thor ret%rns to 6aldonada$ Sails to the &ingdom of
0%ggnagg$ The a%thor confined$ -e is sent for to co%rt$ The
manner of his admittance$ The &ing's great lenity to his
The day of o%r de8art%re being come, 1 too& leave of his highness,
the Governor of Gl%bbd%bdrib, and ret%rned ,ith my t,o com8anions
to 6aldonada, ,here, after a fortnight's ,aiting, a shi8 ,as ready
to sail for 0%ggnagg$ The t,o gentlemen, and some others, ,ere so
genero%s and &ind as to f%rnish me ,ith 8rovisions, and see me on
board$ 1 ,as a month in this voyage$ *e had one violent storm,
and ,ere %nder a necessity of steering ,est,ard to get into the
trade ,ind, ,hich holds for above sixty leag%es$ 2n the 21st of
38ril, 1!8, ,e sailed into the river of :l%megnig, ,hich is a
sea8ort to,n, at the so%thFeast 8oint of 0%ggnagg$ *e cast anchor
,ithin a leag%e of the to,n, and made a signal for a 8ilot$ T,o of
them came on board in less than half an ho%r, by ,hom ,e ,ere
g%ided bet,een certain shoals and roc&s, ,hich are very dangero%s
in the 8assage, to a large basin, ,here a fleet may ride in safety
,ithin a cable's length of the to,nF,all$
Some of o%r sailors, ,hether o%t of treachery or inadvertence, had
informed the 8ilots >that 1 ,as a stranger, and great traveller7>
,hereof these gave notice to a c%stomFho%se officer, by ,hom 1 ,as
examined very strictly %8on my landing$ This officer s8o&e to me
in the lang%age of Balnibarbi, ,hich, by the force of m%ch
commerce, is generally %nderstood in that to,n, es8ecially by
seamen and those em8loyed in the c%stoms$ 1 gave him a short
acco%nt of some 8artic%lars, and made my story as 8la%sible and
consistent as 1 co%ld7 b%t 1 tho%ght it necessary to disg%ise my
co%ntry, and call myself a -ollander7 beca%se my intentions ,ere
for +a8an, and 1 &ne, the D%tch ,ere the only .%ro8eans 8ermitted
to enter into that &ingdom$ 1 therefore told the officer, >that
having been shi8,rec&ed on the coast of Balnibarbi, and cast on a
roc&, 1 ,as received %8 into 0a8%ta, or the flying island Bof ,hich
he had often heardC, and ,as no, endeavo%ring to get to +a8an,
,hence 1 might find a convenience of ret%rning to my o,n co%ntry$>
The officer said, >1 m%st be confined till he co%ld receive orders
from co%rt, for ,hich he ,o%ld ,rite immediately, and ho8ed to
receive an ans,er in a fortnight$> 1 ,as carried to a convenient
lodging ,ith a sentry 8laced at the door7 ho,ever, 1 had the
liberty of a large garden, and ,as treated ,ith h%manity eno%gh,
being maintained all the time at the &ing's charge$ 1 ,as invited
by several 8ersons, chiefly o%t of c%riosity, beca%se it ,as
re8orted that 1 came from co%ntries very remote, of ,hich they had
never heard$
1 hired a yo%ng man, ,ho came in the same shi8, to be an
inter8reter7 he ,as a native of 0%ggnagg, b%t had lived some years
at 6aldonada, and ,as a 8erfect master of both lang%ages$ By his
assistance, 1 ,as able to hold a conversation ,ith those ,ho came
to visit me7 b%t this consisted only of their 9%estions, and my
The des8atch came from co%rt abo%t the time ,e ex8ected$ 1t
contained a ,arrant for cond%cting me and my retin%e to
Traldragd%bh, or Trildrogdrib Bfor it is 8rono%nced both ,ays as
near as 1 can rememberC, by a 8arty of ten horse$ 3ll my retin%e
,as that 8oor lad for an inter8reter, ,hom 1 8ers%aded into my
service, and, at my h%mble re9%est, ,e had each of %s a m%le to
ride on$ 3 messenger ,as des8atched half a day's ?o%rney before
%s, to give the &ing notice of my a88roach, and to desire, >that
his ma?esty ,o%ld 8lease to a88oint a day and ho%r, ,hen it ,o%ld
by his gracio%s 8leas%re that 1 might have the hono%r to lic& the
d%st before his footstool$> This is the co%rt style, and 1 fo%nd
it to be more than matter of formA for, %8on my admittance t,o
days after my arrival, 1 ,as commanded to cra,l %8on my belly, and
lic& the floor as 1 advanced7 b%t, on acco%nt of my being a
stranger, care ,as ta&en to have it made so clean, that the d%st
,as not offensive$ -o,ever, this ,as a 8ec%liar grace, not allo,ed
to any b%t 8ersons of the highest ran&, ,hen they desire an
admittance$ )ay, sometimes the floor is stre,ed ,ith d%st on
8%r8ose, ,hen the 8erson to be admitted ha88ens to have 8o,erf%l
enemies at co%rt7 and 1 have seen a great lord ,ith his mo%th so
crammed, that ,hen he had cre8t to the 8ro8er distance from the
throne7 he ,as not able to s8ea& a ,ord$ )either is there any
remedy7 beca%se it is ca8ital for those, ,ho receive an a%dience to
s8it or ,i8e their mo%ths in his ma?esty's 8resence$ There is
indeed another c%stom, ,hich 1 cannot altogether a88rove ofA ,hen
the &ing has a mind to 8%t any of his nobles to death in a gentle
ind%lgent manner, he commands the floor to be stre,ed ,ith a
certain bro,n 8o,der of a deadly com8osition, ,hich being lic&ed
%8, infallibly &ills him in t,entyFfo%r ho%rs$ B%t in ?%stice to
this 8rince's great clemency, and the care he has of his s%b?ects'
lives B,herein it ,ere m%ch to be ,ished that the 6onarchs of
.%ro8e ,o%ld imitate himC, it m%st be mentioned for his hono%r,
that strict orders are given to have the infected 8arts of the
floor ,ell ,ashed after every s%ch exec%tion, ,hich, if his
domestics neglect, they are in danger of inc%rring his royal
dis8leas%re$ 1 myself heard him give directions, that one of his
8ages sho%ld be ,hi88ed, ,hose t%rn it ,as to give notice abo%t
,ashing the floor after an exec%tion, b%t malicio%sly had omitted
it7 by ,hich neglect a yo%ng lord of great ho8es, coming to an
a%dience, ,as %nfort%nately 8oisoned, altho%gh the &ing at that
time had no design against his life$ B%t this good 8rince ,as so
gracio%s as to forgive the 8oor 8age his ,hi88ing, %8on 8romise
that he ,o%ld do so no more, ,itho%t s8ecial orders$
To ret%rn from this digression$ *hen 1 had cre8t ,ithin fo%r yards
of the throne, 1 raised myself gently %8on my &nees, and then
stri&ing my forehead seven times against the gro%nd, 1 8rono%nced
the follo,ing ,ords, as they had been ta%ght me the night before,
1nc&8ling gloffthrobb s9%%t ser%mmblhio8 mlashnalt E,in
tnodbal&%ffh slhio8had g%rdl%bh asht$ This is the com8liment,
established by the la,s of the land, for all 8ersons admitted to
the &ing's 8resence$ 1t may be rendered into .nglish th%sA >6ay
yo%r celestial ma?esty o%tlive the s%n, eleven moons and a halfM>
To this the &ing ret%rned some ans,er, ,hich, altho%gh 1 co%ld not
%nderstand, yet 1 re8lied as 1 had been directedA <l%ft drin
yaleric& d,%ldom 8rastrad mir8%sh, ,hich 8ro8erly signifies, >6y
tong%e is in the mo%th of my friend7> and by this ex8ression ,as
meant, that 1 desired leave to bring my inter8reter7 ,here%8on the
yo%ng man already mentioned ,as accordingly introd%ced, by ,hose
intervention 1 ans,ered as many 9%estions as his ma?esty co%ld 8%t
in above an ho%r$ 1 s8o&e in the Balnibarbian tong%e, and my
inter8reter delivered my meaning in that of 0%ggnagg$
The &ing ,as m%ch delighted ,ith my com8any, and ordered his
bliffmar&l%b, or highFchamberlain, to a88oint a lodging in the
co%rt for me and my inter8reter7 ,ith a daily allo,ance for my
table, and a large 8%rse of gold for my common ex8enses$
1 staid three months in this co%ntry, o%t of 8erfect obedience to
his ma?esty7 ,ho ,as 8leased highly to favo%r me, and made me very
hono%rable offers$ B%t 1 tho%ght it more consistent ,ith 8r%dence
and ?%stice to 8ass the remainder of my days ,ith my ,ife and
:-3PT.( N$
4The 0%ggnaggians commended$ 3 8artic%lar descri8tion of the
Str%ldbr%gs, ,ith many conversations bet,een the a%thor and some
eminent 8ersons %8on that s%b?ect$5
The 0%ggnaggians are a 8olite and genero%s 8eo8le7 and altho%gh
they are not ,itho%t some share of that 8ride ,hich is 8ec%liar to
all .astern co%ntries, yet they sho, themselves co%rteo%s to
strangers, es8ecially s%ch ,ho are co%ntenanced by the co%rt$ 1
had many ac9%aintance, and among 8ersons of the best fashion7 and
being al,ays attended by my inter8reter, the conversation ,e had
,as not disagreeable$
2ne day, in m%ch good com8any, 1 ,as as&ed by a 8erson of 9%ality,
>,hether 1 had seen any of their str%ldbr%gs, or immortalsD> 1
said, >1 had not7> and desired he ,o%ld ex8lain to me >,hat he
meant by s%ch an a88ellation, a88lied to a mortal creat%re$> -e
told me >that sometimes, tho%gh very rarely, a child ha88ened to be
born in a family, ,ith a red circ%lar s8ot in the forehead,
directly over the left eyebro,, ,hich ,as an infallible mar& that
it sho%ld never die$> The s8ot, as he described it, >,as abo%t the
com8ass of a silver three8ence, b%t in the co%rse of time gre,
larger, and changed its colo%r7 for at t,elve years old it became
green, so contin%ed till five and t,enty, then t%rned to a dee8
bl%eA at five and forty it gre, coal blac&, and as large as an
.nglish shilling7 b%t never admitted any f%rther alteration$> -e
said, >these births ,ere so rare, that he did not believe there
co%ld be above eleven h%ndred str%ldbr%gs, of both sexes, in the
,hole &ingdom7 of ,hich he com8%ted abo%t fifty in the metro8olis,
and, among the rest, a yo%ng girl born7 abo%t three years agoA
that these 8rod%ctions ,ere not 8ec%liar to any family, b%t a mere
effect of chance7 and the children of the str%ldbr%gs themselves
,ere e9%ally mortal ,ith the rest of the 8eo8le$>
1 freely o,n myself to have been str%c& ,ith inex8ressible delight,
%8on hearing this acco%ntA and the 8erson ,ho gave it me ha88ening
to %nderstand the Balnibarbian lang%age, ,hich 1 s8o&e very ,ell, 1
co%ld not forbear brea&ing o%t into ex8ressions, 8erha8s a little
too extravagant$ 1 cried o%t, as in a ra8t%re, >-a88y nation,
,here every child hath at least a chance for being immortalM -a88y
8eo8le, ,ho en?oy so many living exam8les of ancient virt%e, and
have masters ready to instr%ct them in the ,isdom of all former
agesM b%t ha88iest, beyond all com8arison, are those excellent
str%ldbr%gs, ,ho, being born exem8t from that %niversal calamity of
h%man nat%re, have their minds free and disengaged, ,itho%t the
,eight and de8ression of s8irits ca%sed by the contin%al
a88rehensions of deathM> 1 discovered my admiration that 1 had not
observed any of these ill%strio%s 8ersons at co%rt7 the blac& s8ot
on the forehead being so remar&able a distinction, that 1 co%ld not
have easily overloo&ed itA and it ,as im8ossible that his ma?esty,
a most ?%dicio%s 8rince, sho%ld not 8rovide himself ,ith a good
n%mber of s%ch ,ise and able co%nsellors$ ;et 8erha8s the virt%e
of those reverend sages ,as too strict for the corr%8t and
libertine manners of a co%rtA and ,e often find by ex8erience,
that yo%ng men are too o8inionated and volatile to be g%ided by the
sober dictates of their seniors$ -o,ever, since the &ing ,as
8leased to allo, me access to his royal 8erson, 1 ,as resolved,
%8on the very first occasion, to deliver my o8inion to him on this
matter freely and at large, by the hel8 of my inter8reter7 and
,hether he ,o%ld 8lease to ta&e my advice or not, yet in one thing
1 ,as determined, that his ma?esty having fre9%ently offered me an
establishment in this co%ntry, 1 ,o%ld, ,ith great than&f%lness,
acce8t the favo%r, and 8ass my life here in the conversation of
those s%8erior beings the str%ldbr%gs, if they ,o%ld 8lease to
admit me$>
The gentleman to ,hom 1 addressed my disco%rse, beca%se Bas 1 have
already observedC he s8o&e the lang%age of Balnibarbi, said to me,
,ith a sort of a smile ,hich %s%ally arises from 8ity to the
ignorant, >that he ,as glad of any occasion to &ee8 me among them,
and desired my 8ermission to ex8lain to the com8any ,hat 1 had
s8o&e$> -e did so, and they tal&ed together for some time in their
o,n lang%age, ,hereof 1 %nderstood not a syllable, neither co%ld 1
observe by their co%ntenances, ,hat im8ression my disco%rse had
made on them$ 3fter a short silence, the same 8erson told me,
>that his friends and mine Bso he tho%ght fit to ex8ress himselfC
,ere very m%ch 8leased ,ith the ?%dicio%s remar&s 1 had made on the
great ha88iness and advantages of immortal life, and they ,ere
desiro%s to &no,, in a 8artic%lar manner, ,hat scheme of living 1
sho%ld have formed to myself, if it had fallen to my lot to have
been born a str%ldbr%g$>
1 ans,ered, >it ,as easy to be elo9%ent on so co8io%s and
delightf%l a s%b?ect, es8ecially to me, ,ho had been often a8t to
am%se myself ,ith visions of ,hat 1 sho%ld do, if 1 ,ere a &ing, a
general, or a great lordA and %8on this very case, 1 had
fre9%ently r%n over the ,hole system ho, 1 sho%ld em8loy myself,
and 8ass the time, if 1 ,ere s%re to live for ever$
>That, if it had been my good fort%ne to come into the ,orld a
str%ldbr%g, as soon as 1 co%ld discover my o,n ha88iness, by
%nderstanding the difference bet,een life and death, 1 ,o%ld first
resolve, by all arts and methods, ,hatsoever, to 8roc%re myself
riches$ 1n the 8%rs%it of ,hich, by thrift and management, 1 might
reasonably ex8ect, in abo%t t,o h%ndred years, to be the ,ealthiest
man in the &ingdom$ 1n the second 8lace, 1 ,o%ld, from my earliest
yo%th, a88ly myself to the st%dy of arts and sciences, by ,hich 1
sho%ld arrive in time to excel all others in learning$ 0astly, 1
,o%ld caref%lly record every action and event of conse9%ence, that
ha88ened in the 8%blic, im8artially dra, the characters of the
several s%ccessions of 8rinces and great ministers of state, ,ith
my o,n observations on every 8oint$ 1 ,o%ld exactly set do,n the
several changes in c%stoms, lang%age, fashions of dress, diet, and
diversions$ By all ,hich ac9%irements, 1 sho%ld be a living
treas%re of &no,ledge and ,isdom, and certainly become the oracle
of the nation$
>1 ,o%ld never marry after threescore, b%t live in a hos8itable
manner, yet still on the saving side$ 1 ,o%ld entertain myself in
forming and directing the minds of ho8ef%l yo%ng men, by convincing
them, from my o,n remembrance, ex8erience, and observation,
fortified by n%mero%s exam8les, of the %sef%lness of virt%e in
8%blic and 8rivate life$ B%t my choice and constant com8anions
sho%ld be a set of my o,n immortal brotherhood7 among ,hom, 1 ,o%ld
elect a doEen from the most ancient, do,n to my o,n contem8oraries$
*here any of these ,anted fort%nes, 1 ,o%ld 8rovide them ,ith
convenient lodges ro%nd my o,n estate, and have some of them al,ays
at my table7 only mingling a fe, of the most val%able among yo%
mortals, ,hom length of time ,o%ld harden me to lose ,ith little or
no rel%ctance, and treat yo%r 8osterity after the same manner7 ?%st
as a man diverts himself ,ith the ann%al s%ccession of 8in&s and
t%li8s in his garden, ,itho%t regretting the loss of those ,hich
,ithered the 8receding year$
>These str%ldbr%gs and 1 ,o%ld m%t%ally comm%nicate o%r
observations and memorials, thro%gh the co%rse of time7 remar& the
several gradations by ,hich corr%8tion steals into the ,orld, and
o88ose it in every ste8, by giving 8er8et%al ,arning and
instr%ction to man&ind7 ,hich, added to the strong infl%ence of o%r
o,n exam8le, ,o%ld 8robably 8revent that contin%al degeneracy of
h%man nat%re so ?%stly com8lained of in all ages$
>3dd to this, the 8leas%re of seeing the vario%s revol%tions of
states and em8ires7 the changes in the lo,er and %88er ,orld7
ancient cities in r%ins, and obsc%re villages become the seats of
&ings7 famo%s rivers lessening into shallo, broo&s7 the ocean
leaving one coast dry, and over,helming another7 the discovery of
many co%ntries yet %n&no,n7 barbarity overr%nning the 8olitest
nations, and the most barbaro%s become civiliEed$ 1 sho%ld then
see the discovery of the longit%de, the 8er8et%al motion, the
%niversal medicine, and many other great inventions, bro%ght to the
%tmost 8erfection$
>*hat ,onderf%l discoveries sho%ld ,e ma&e in astronomy, by
o%tliving and confirming o%r o,n 8redictions7 by observing the
8rogress and ret%rn of comets, ,ith the changes of motion in the
s%n, moon, and starsM>
1 enlarged %8on many other to8ics, ,hich the nat%ral desire of
endless life, and s%bl%nary ha88iness, co%ld easily f%rnish me
,ith$ *hen 1 had ended, and the s%m of my disco%rse had been
inter8reted, as before, to the rest of the com8any, there ,as a
good deal of tal& among them in the lang%age of the co%ntry, not
,itho%t some la%ghter at my ex8ense$ 3t last, the same gentleman
,ho had been my inter8reter, said, >he ,as desired by the rest to
set me right in a fe, mista&es, ,hich 1 had fallen into thro%gh the
common imbecility of h%man nat%re, and %8on that allo,ance ,as less
ans,erable for them$ That this breed of str%ldbr%gs ,as 8ec%liar
to their co%ntry, for there ,ere no s%ch 8eo8le either in
Balnibarbi or +a8an, ,here he had the hono%r to be ambassador from
his ma?esty, and fo%nd the natives in both those &ingdoms very hard
to believe that the fact ,as 8ossibleA and it a88eared from my
astonishment ,hen he first mentioned the matter to me, that 1
received it as a thing ,holly ne,, and scarcely to be credited$
That in the t,o &ingdoms above mentioned, ,here, d%ring his
residence, he had conversed very m%ch, he observed long life to be
the %niversal desire and ,ish of man&ind$ That ,hoever had one
foot in the grave ,as s%re to hold bac& the other as strongly as he
co%ld$ That the oldest had still ho8es of living one day longer,
and loo&ed on death as the greatest evil, from ,hich nat%re al,ays
8rom8ted him to retreat$ 2nly in this island of 0%ggnagg the
a88etite for living ,as not so eager, from the contin%al exam8le of
the str%ldbr%gs before their eyes$
>That the system of living contrived by me, ,as %nreasonable and
%n?%st7 beca%se it s%88osed a 8er8et%ity of yo%th, health, and
vigo%r, ,hich no man co%ld be so foolish to ho8e, ho,ever
extravagant he may be in his ,ishes$ That the 9%estion therefore
,as not, ,hether a man ,o%ld choose to be al,ays in the 8rime of
yo%th, attended ,ith 8ros8erity and health7 b%t ho, he ,o%ld 8ass a
8er8et%al life %nder all the %s%al disadvantages ,hich old age
brings along ,ith it$ <or altho%gh fe, men ,ill avo, their desires
of being immortal, %8on s%ch hard conditions, yet in the t,o
&ingdoms before mentioned, of Balnibarbi and +a8an, he observed
that every man desired to 8%t off death some time longer, let it
a88roach ever so lateA and he rarely heard of any man ,ho died
,illingly, exce8t he ,ere incited by the extremity of grief or
tort%re$ 3nd he a88ealed to me, ,hether in those co%ntries 1 had
travelled, as ,ell as my o,n, 1 had not observed the same general
3fter this 8reface, he gave me a 8artic%lar acco%nt of the
str%ldbr%gs among them$ -e said, >they commonly acted li&e mortals
till abo%t thirty years old7 after ,hich, by degrees, they gre,
melancholy and de?ected, increasing in both till they came to
fo%rscore$ This he learned from their o,n confessionA for
other,ise, there not being above t,o or three of that s8ecies born
in an age, they ,ere too fe, to form a general observation by$
*hen they came to fo%rscore years, ,hich is rec&oned the extremity
of living in this co%ntry, they had not only all the follies and
infirmities of other old men, b%t many more ,hich arose from the
dreadf%l 8ros8ect of never dying$ They ,ere not only o8inionative,
8eevish, coveto%s, morose, vain, tal&ative, b%t inca8able of
friendshi8, and dead to all nat%ral affection, ,hich never
descended belo, their grandchildren$ .nvy and im8otent desires are
their 8revailing 8assions$ B%t those ob?ects against ,hich their
envy seems 8rinci8ally directed, are the vices of the yo%nger sort
and the deaths of the old$ By reflecting on the former, they find
themselves c%t off from all 8ossibility of 8leas%re7 and ,henever
they see a f%neral, they lament and re8ine that others have gone to
a harbo%r of rest to ,hich they themselves never can ho8e to
arrive$ They have no remembrance of anything b%t ,hat they learned
and observed in their yo%th and middleFage, and even that is very
im8erfect7 and for the tr%th or 8artic%lars of any fact, it is
safer to de8end on common tradition, than %8on their best
recollections$ The least miserable among them a88ear to be those
,ho t%rn to dotage, and entirely lose their memories7 these meet
,ith more 8ity and assistance, beca%se they ,ant many bad 9%alities
,hich abo%nd in others$
>1f a str%ldbr%g ha88en to marry one of his o,n &ind, the marriage
is dissolved of co%rse, by the co%rtesy of the &ingdom, as soon as
the yo%nger of the t,o comes to be fo%rscore7 for the la, thin&s it
a reasonable ind%lgence, that those ,ho are condemned, ,itho%t any
fa%lt of their o,n, to a 8er8et%al contin%ance in the ,orld, sho%ld
not have their misery do%bled by the load of a ,ife$
>3s soon as they have com8leted the term of eighty years, they are
loo&ed on as dead in la,7 their heirs immediately s%cceed to their
estates7 only a small 8ittance is reserved for their s%88ort7 and
the 8oor ones are maintained at the 8%blic charge$ 3fter that
8eriod, they are held inca8able of any em8loyment of tr%st or
8rofit7 they cannot 8%rchase lands, or ta&e leases7 neither are
they allo,ed to be ,itnesses in any ca%se, either civil or
criminal, not even for the decision of meers and bo%nds$
>3t ninety, they lose their teeth and hair7 they have at that age
no distinction of taste, b%t eat and drin& ,hatever they can get,
,itho%t relish or a88etite$ The diseases they ,ere s%b?ect to
still contin%e, ,itho%t increasing or diminishing$ 1n tal&ing,
they forget the common a88ellation of things, and the names of
8ersons, even of those ,ho are their nearest friends and relations$
<or the same reason, they never can am%se themselves ,ith reading,
beca%se their memory ,ill not serve to carry them from the
beginning of a sentence to the end7 and by this defect, they are
de8rived of the only entertainment ,hereof they might other,ise be
The lang%age of this co%ntry being al,ays %8on the fl%x, the
str%ldbr%gs of one age do not %nderstand those of another7 neither
are they able, after t,o h%ndred years, to hold any conversation
Bfarther than by a fe, general ,ordsC ,ith their neighbo%rs the
mortals7 and th%s they lie %nder the disadvantage of living li&e
foreigners in their o,n co%ntry$>
This ,as the acco%nt given me of the str%ldbr%gs, as near as 1 can
remember$ 1 after,ards sa, five or six of different ages, the
yo%ngest not above t,o h%ndred years old, ,ho ,ere bro%ght to me at
several times by some of my friends7 b%t altho%gh they ,ere told,
>that 1 ,as a great traveller, and had seen all the ,orld,> they
had not the least c%riosity to as& me a 9%estion7 only desired >1
,o%ld give them sl%ms&%das&,> or a to&en of remembrance7 ,hich is a
modest ,ay of begging, to avoid the la,, that strictly forbids it,
beca%se they are 8rovided for by the 8%blic, altho%gh indeed ,ith a
very scanty allo,ance$
They are des8ised and hated by all sorts of 8eo8le$ *hen one of
them is born, it is rec&oned omino%s, and their birth is recorded
very 8artic%larly so that yo% may &no, their age by cons%lting the
register, ,hich, ho,ever, has not been &e8t above a tho%sand years
8ast, or at least has been destroyed by time or 8%blic
dist%rbances$ B%t the %s%al ,ay of com8%ting ho, old they are, is
by as&ing them ,hat &ings or great 8ersons they can remember, and
then cons%lting history7 for infallibly the last 8rince in their
mind did not begin his reign after they ,ere fo%rscore years old$
They ,ere the most mortifying sight 1 ever beheld7 and the ,omen
more horrible than the men$ Besides the %s%al deformities in
extreme old age, they ac9%ired an additional ghastliness, in
8ro8ortion to their n%mber of years, ,hich is not to be described7
and among half a doEen, 1 soon disting%ished ,hich ,as the eldest,
altho%gh there ,as not above a cent%ry or t,o bet,een them$
The reader ,ill easily believe, that from ,hat 1 had hear and seen,
my &een a88etite for 8er8et%ity of life ,as m%ch abated$ 1 gre,
heartily ashamed of the 8leasing visions 1 had formed7 and tho%ght
no tyrant co%ld invent a death into ,hich 1 ,o%ld not r%n ,ith
8leas%re, from s%ch a life$ The &ing heard of all that had 8assed
bet,een me and my friends %8on this occasion, and rallied me very
8leasantly7 ,ishing 1 co%ld send a co%8le of str%ldbr%gs to my o,n
co%ntry, to arm o%r 8eo8le against the fear of death7 b%t this, it
seems, is forbidden by the f%ndamental la,s of the &ingdom, or else
1 sho%ld have been ,ell content ,ith the tro%ble and ex8ense of
trans8orting them$
1 co%ld not b%t agree, that the la,s of this &ingdom relative to
the str%ldbr%gs ,ere fo%nded %8on the strongest reasons, and s%ch
as any other co%ntry ,o%ld be %nder the necessity of enacting, in
the li&e circ%mstances$ 2ther,ise, as avarice is the necessary
conse9%ence of old age, those immortals ,o%ld in time become
8ro8rietors of the ,hole nation, and engross the civil 8o,er,
,hich, for ,ant of abilities to manage, m%st end in the r%in of the
:-3PT.( N1$
4The a%thor leaves 0%ggnagg, and sails to +a8an$ <rom thence he
ret%rns in a D%tch shi8 to 3msterdam, and from 3msterdam to
1 tho%ght this acco%nt of the str%ldbr%gs might be some
entertainment to the reader, beca%se it seems to be a little o%t of
the common ,ay7 at least 1 do not remember to have met the li&e in
any boo& of travels that has come to my handsA and if 1 am
deceived, my exc%se m%st be, that it is necessary for travellers
,ho describe the same co%ntry, very often to agree in d,elling on
the same 8artic%lars, ,itho%t deserving the cens%re of having
borro,ed or transcribed from those ,ho ,rote before them$
There is indeed a 8er8et%al commerce bet,een this &ingdom and the
great em8ire of +a8an7 and it is very 8robable, that the +a8anese
a%thors may have given some acco%nt of the str%ldbr%gs7 b%t my stay
in +a8an ,as so short, and 1 ,as so entirely a stranger to the
lang%age, that 1 ,as not 9%alified to ma&e any in9%iries$ B%t 1
ho8e the D%tch, %8on this notice, ,ill be c%rio%s and able eno%gh
to s%88ly my defects$
-is ma?esty having often 8ressed me to acce8t some em8loyment in
his co%rt, and finding me absol%tely determined to ret%rn to my
native co%ntry, ,as 8leased to give me his license to de8art7 and
hono%red me ,ith a letter of recommendation, %nder his o,n hand, to
the .m8eror of +a8an$ -e li&e,ise 8resented me ,ith fo%r h%ndred
and fortyFfo%r large 8ieces of gold Bthis nation delighting in even
n%mbersC, and a red diamond, ,hich 1 sold in .ngland for eleven
h%ndred 8o%nds$
2n the Gth of 6ay, 1!9, 1 too& a solemn leave of his ma?esty, and
all my friends$ This 8rince ,as so gracio%s as to order a g%ard to
cond%ct me to Glang%enstald, ,hich is a royal 8ort to the so%thF
,est 8art of the island$ 1n six days 1 fo%nd a vessel ready to
carry me to +a8an, and s8ent fifteen days in the voyage$ *e landed
at a small 8ortFto,n called Namoschi, sit%ated on the so%thFeast
8art of +a8an7 the to,n lies on the ,estern 8oint, ,here there is a
narro, strait leading north,ard into along arm of the sea, %8on the
northF,est 8art of ,hich, ;edo, the metro8olis, stands$ 3t
landing, 1 sho,ed the c%stomFho%se officers my letter from the &ing
of 0%ggnagg to his im8erial ma?esty$ They &ne, the seal 8erfectly
,ell7 it ,as as broad as the 8alm of my hand$ The im8ression ,as,
3 L1)G 01<T1)G /P 3 036. B.GG3( <(26 T-. .3(T-$ The magistrates of
the to,n, hearing of my letter, received me as a 8%blic minister$
They 8rovided me ,ith carriages and servants, and bore my charges
to ;edo7 ,here 1 ,as admitted to an a%dience, and delivered my
letter, ,hich ,as o8ened ,ith great ceremony, and ex8lained to the
.m8eror by an inter8reter, ,ho then gave me notice, by his
ma?esty's order, >that 1 sho%ld signify my re9%est, and, ,hatever
it ,ere, it sho%ld be granted, for the sa&e of his royal brother of
0%ggnagg$> This inter8reter ,as a 8erson em8loyed to transact
affairs ,ith the -ollanders$ -e soon con?ect%red, by my
co%ntenance, that 1 ,as a .%ro8ean, and therefore re8eated his
ma?esty's commands in 0o, D%tch, ,hich he s8o&e 8erfectly ,ell$ 1
ans,ered, as 1 had before determined, >that 1 ,as a D%tch merchant,
shi8,rec&ed in a very remote co%ntry, ,hence 1 had travelled by sea
and land to 0%ggnagg, and then too& shi88ing for +a8an7 ,here 1
&ne, my co%ntrymen often traded, and ,ith some of these 1 ho8ed to
get an o88ort%nity of ret%rning into .%ro8eA 1 therefore most
h%mbly entreated his royal favo%r, to give order that 1 sho%ld be
cond%cted in safety to )angasac$> To this 1 added another
8etition, >that for the sa&e of my 8atron the &ing of 0%ggnagg, his
ma?esty ,o%ld condescend to exc%se my 8erforming the ceremony
im8osed on my co%ntrymen, of tram8ling %8on the cr%cifixA beca%se
1 had been thro,n into his &ingdom by my misfort%nes, ,itho%t any
intention of trading$> *hen this latter 8etition ,as inter8reted
to the .m8eror, he seemed a little s%r8rised7 and said, >he
believed 1 ,as the first of my co%ntrymen ,ho ever made any scr%8le
in this 8oint7 and that he began to do%bt, ,hether 1 ,as a real
-ollander, or not7 b%t rather s%s8ected 1 m%st be a :hristian$
-o,ever, for the reasons 1 had offered, b%t chiefly to gratify the
&ing of 0%ggnagg by an %ncommon mar& of his favo%r, he ,o%ld com8ly
,ith the sing%larity of my h%mo%r7 b%t the affair m%st be managed
,ith dexterity, and his officers sho%ld be commanded to let me
8ass, as it ,ere by forgetf%lness$ <or he ass%red me, that if the
secret sho%ld be discovered by my co%ntrymen the D%tch, they ,o%ld
c%t my throat in the voyage$> 1 ret%rned my than&s, by the
inter8reter, for so %n%s%al a favo%r7 and some troo8s being at that
time on their march to )angasac, the commanding officer had orders
to convey me safe thither, ,ith 8artic%lar instr%ctions abo%t the
b%siness of the cr%cifix$
2n the 9th day of +%ne, 1!9, 1 arrived at )angasac, after a very
long and tro%blesome ?o%rney$ 1 soon fell into the com8any of some
D%tch sailors belonging to the 3mboyna, of 3msterdam, a sto%t shi8
of "I tons$ 1 had lived long in -olland, 8%rs%ing my st%dies at
0eyden, and 1 s8o&e D%tch ,ell$ The seamen soon &ne, ,hence 1 came
lastA they ,ere c%rio%s to in9%ire into my voyages and co%rse of
life$ 1 made %8 a story as short and 8robable as 1 co%ld, b%t
concealed the greatest 8art$ 1 &ne, many 8ersons in -olland$ 1
,as able to invent names for my 8arents, ,hom 1 8retended to be
obsc%re 8eo8le in the 8rovince of Gelderland$ 1 ,o%ld have given
the ca8tain Bone Theodor%s =angr%ltC ,hat he 8leased to as& for my
voyage to -olland7 b%t %nderstanding 1 ,as a s%rgeon, he ,as
contented to ta&e half the %s%al rate, on condition that 1 ,o%ld
serve him in the ,ay of my calling$ Before ,e too& shi88ing, 1 ,as
often as&ed by some of the cre,, ,hether 1 had 8erformed the
ceremony above mentionedD 1 evaded the 9%estion by general
ans,ers7 >that 1 had satisfied the .m8eror and co%rt in all
8artic%lars$> -o,ever, a malicio%s rog%e of a s&i88er ,ent to an
officer, and 8ointing to me, told him, >1 had not yet tram8led on
the cr%cifix7> b%t the other, ,ho had received instr%ctions to let
me 8ass, gave the rascal t,enty stro&es on the sho%lders ,ith a
bamboo7 after ,hich 1 ,as no more tro%bled ,ith s%ch 9%estions$
)othing ha88ened ,orth mentioning in this voyage$ *e sailed ,ith a
fair ,ind to the :a8e of Good -o8e, ,here ,e staid only to ta&e in
fresh ,ater$ 2n the 1th of 38ril, 1!1, ,e arrived safe at
3msterdam, having lost only three men by sic&ness in the voyage,
and a fo%rth, ,ho fell from the foremast into the sea, not far from
the coast of G%inea$ <rom 3msterdam 1 soon after set sail for
.ngland, in a small vessel belonging to that city$
2n the 1Gth of 38ril ,e 8%t in at the Do,ns$ 1 landed next
morning, and sa, once more my native co%ntry, after an absence of
five years and six months com8lete$ 1 ,ent straight to (edriff,
,here 1 arrived the same day at t,o in the afternoon, and fo%nd my
,ife and family in good health$
P3(T 1=FF3 =2;3G. T2 T-. :2/)T(; 2< T-. -2/;-)-)6S$
:-3PT.( 1$
4The a%thor sets o%t as ca8tain of a shi8$ -is men cons8ire
against him, confine him a long time to his cabin, and set him on
shore in an %n&no,n land$ -e travels %8 into the co%ntry$ The
;ahoos, a strange sort of animal, described$ The a%thor meets t,o
1 contin%ed at home ,ith my ,ife and children abo%t five months, in
a very ha88y condition, if 1 co%ld have learned the lesson of
&no,ing ,hen 1 ,as ,ell$ 1 left my 8oor ,ife big ,ith child, and
acce8ted an advantageo%s offer made me to be ca8tain of the
3dvent%rer, a sto%t merchantman of HI tonsA for 1 %nderstood
navigation ,ell, and being gro,n ,eary of a s%rgeon's em8loyment at
sea, ,hich, ho,ever, 1 co%ld exercise %8on occasion, 1 too& a
s&ilf%l yo%ng man of that calling, one (obert P%refoy, into my
shi8$ *e set sail from Portsmo%th %8on the !th day of Se8tember,
1!17 on the 1"th ,e met ,ith :a8tain Pococ&, of Bristol, at
Teneriffe, ,ho ,as going to the bay of :am8echy to c%t log,ood$ 2n
the 1Gth, he ,as 8arted from %s by a storm7 1 heard since my
ret%rn, that his shi8 fo%ndered, and none esca8ed b%t one cabin
boy$ -e ,as an honest man, and a good sailor, b%t a little too
8ositive in his o,n o8inions, ,hich ,as the ca%se of his
destr%ction, as it has been ,ith several others7 for if he had
follo,ed my advice, he might have been safe at home ,ith his family
at this time, as ,ell as myself$
1 had several men ,ho died in my shi8 of calent%res, so that 1 ,as
forced to get recr%its o%t of Barbadoes and the 0ee,ard 1slands,
,here 1 to%ched, by the direction of the merchants ,ho em8loyed me7
,hich 1 had soon too m%ch ca%se to re8entA for 1 fo%nd after,ards,
that most of them had been b%ccaneers$ 1 had fifty hands onboard7
and my orders ,ere, that 1 sho%ld trade ,ith the 1ndians in the
So%thFSea, and ma&e ,hat discoveries 1 co%ld$ These rog%es, ,hom 1
had 8ic&ed %8, deba%ched my other men, and they all formed a
cons8iracy to seiEe the shi8, and sec%re me7 ,hich they did one
morning, r%shing into my cabin, and binding me hand and foot,
threatening to thro, me overboard, if 1 offered to stir$ 1 told
them, >1 ,as their 8risoner, and ,o%ld s%bmit$> This they made me
s,ear to do, and then they %nbo%nd me, only fastening one of my
legs ,ith a chain, near my bed, and 8laced a sentry at my door ,ith
his 8iece charged, ,ho ,as commanded to shoot me dead if 1
attem8ted my liberty$ They sent me o,n vict%als and drin&, and
too& the government of the shi8 to themselves$ Their design ,as to
t%rn 8irates and, 8l%nder the S8aniards, ,hich they co%ld not do
till they got more men$ B%t first they resolved to sell the goods
the shi8, and then go to 6adagascar for recr%its, several among
them having died since my confinement$ They sailed many ,ee&s, and
traded ,ith the 1ndians7 b%t 1 &ne, not ,hat co%rse they too&,
being &e8t a close 8risoner in my cabin, and ex8ecting nothing less
than to be m%rdered, as they often threatened me$
/8on the 9th day of 6ay, 1!11, one +ames *elch came do,n to my
cabin, and said, >he had orders from the ca8tain to set me ashore$>
1 ex8ost%lated ,ith him, b%t in vain7 neither ,o%ld he so m%ch as
tell me ,ho their ne, ca8tain ,as$ They forced me into the longF
boat, letting me 8%t on my best s%it of clothes, ,hich ,ere as good
as ne,, and ta&e a small b%ndle of linen, b%t no arms, exce8t my
hanger7 and they ,ere so civil as not to search my 8oc&ets, into
,hich 1 conveyed ,hat money 1 had, ,ith some other little
necessaries$ They ro,ed abo%t a leag%e, and then set me do,n on a
strand$ 1 desired them to tell me ,hat co%ntry it ,as$ They all
s,ore, >they &ne, no more than myself7> b%t said, >that the
ca8tain> Bas they called himC >,as resolved, after they had sold
the lading, to get rid of me in the first 8lace ,here they co%ld
discover land$> They 8%shed off immediately, advising me to ma&e
haste for fear of being overta&en by the tide, and so bade me
1n this desolate condition 1 advanced for,ard, and soon got %8on
firm gro%nd, ,here 1 sat do,n on a ban& to rest myself, and
consider ,hat 1 had best do$ *hen 1 ,as a little refreshed, 1 ,ent
%8 into the co%ntry, resolving to deliver myself to the first
savages 1 sho%ld meet, and 8%rchase my life from them by some
bracelets, glass rings, and other toys, ,hich sailors %s%ally
8rovide themselves ,ith in those voyages, and ,hereof 1 had some
abo%t me$ The land ,as divided by long ro,s of trees, not
reg%larly 8lanted, b%t nat%rally gro,ing7 there ,as great 8lenty of
grass, and several fields of oats$ 1 ,al&ed very circ%ms8ectly,
for fear of being s%r8rised, or s%ddenly shot ,ith an arro, from
behind, or on either side$ 1 fell into a beaten road, ,here 1 sa,
many tracts of h%man feet, and some of co,s, b%t most of horses$
3t last 1 beheld several animals in a field, and one or t,o of the
same &ind sitting in trees$ Their sha8e ,as very sing%lar and
deformed, ,hich a little discom8osed me, so that 1 lay do,n behind
a thic&et to observe them better$ Some of them coming for,ard near
the 8lace ,here 1 lay, gave me an o88ort%nity of distinctly mar&ing
their form$ Their heads and breasts ,ere covered ,ith a thic&
hair, some friEEled, and others lan&7 they had beards li&e goats,
and a long ridge of hair do,n their bac&s, and the fore 8arts of
their legs and feet7 b%t the rest of their bodies ,as bare, so that
1 might see their s&ins, ,hich ,ere of a bro,n b%ff colo%r$ They
had no tails, nor any hair at all on their b%ttoc&s, exce8t abo%t
the an%s, ,hich, 1 8res%me, nat%re had 8laced there to defend them
as they sat on the gro%nd, for this 8ost%re they %sed, as ,ell as
lying do,n, and often stood on their hind feet$ They climbed high
trees as nimbly as a s9%irrel, for they had strong extended cla,s
before and behind, terminating in shar8 8oints, and hoo&ed$ They
,o%ld often s8ring, and bo%nd, and lea8, ,ith 8rodigio%s agility$
The females ,ere not so large as the males7 they had long lan& hair
on their heads, b%t none on their faces, nor any thing more than a
sort of do,n on the rest of their bodies, exce8t abo%t the an%s and
8%denda$ The d%gs h%ng bet,een their fore feet, and often reached
almost to the gro%nd as they ,al&ed$ The hair of both sexes ,as of
several colo%rs, bro,n, red, blac&, and yello,$ /8on the ,hole, 1
never beheld, in all my travels, so disagreeable an animal, or one
against ,hich 1 nat%rally conceived so strong an anti8athy$ So
that, thin&ing 1 had seen eno%gh, f%ll of contem8t and aversion, 1
got %8, and 8%rs%ed the beaten road, ho8ing it might direct me to
the cabin of some 1ndian$ 1 had not got far, ,hen 1 met one of
these creat%res f%ll in my ,ay, and coming %8 directly to me$ The
%gly monster, ,hen he sa, me, distorted several ,ays, every feat%re
of his visage, and stared, as at an ob?ect he had never seen
before7 then a88roaching nearer, lifted %8 his foreF8a,, ,hether
o%t of c%riosity or mischief 1 co%ld not tell7 b%t 1 dre, my
hanger, and gave him a good blo, ,ith the flat side of it, for 1
d%rst not stri&e ,ith the edge, fearing the inhabitants might be
8rovo&ed against me, if they sho%ld come to &no, that 1 had &illed
or maimed any of their cattle$ *hen the beast felt the smart, he
dre, bac&, and roared so lo%d, that a herd of at least forty came
floc&ing abo%t me from the next field, ho,ling and ma&ing odio%s
faces7 b%t 1 ran to the body of a tree, and leaning my bac& against
it, &e8t them off by ,aving my hanger$ Several of this c%rsed
brood, getting hold of the branches behind, lea8ed %8 into the
tree, ,hence they began to discharge their excrements on my head7
ho,ever, 1 esca8ed 8retty ,ell by stic&ing close to the stem of the
tree, b%t ,as almost stifled ,ith the filth, ,hich fell abo%t me on
every side$
1n the midst of this distress, 1 observed them all to r%n a,ay on a
s%dden as fast as they co%ld7 at ,hich 1 vent%red to leave the tree
and 8%rs%e the road, ,ondering ,hat it ,as that co%ld 8%t them into
this fright$ B%t loo&ing on my left hand, 1 sa, a horse ,al&ing
softly in the field7 ,hich my 8ersec%tors having sooner discovered,
,as the ca%se of their flight$ The horse started a little, ,hen he
came near me, b%t soon recovering himself, loo&ed f%ll in my face
,ith manifest to&ens of ,onder7 he vie,ed my hands and feet,
,al&ing ro%nd me several times$ 1 ,o%ld have 8%rs%ed my ?o%rney,
b%t he 8laced himself directly in the ,ay, yet loo&ing ,ith a very
mild as8ect, never offering the least violence$ *e stood gaEing at
each other for some time7 at last 1 too& the boldness to reach my
hand to,ards his nec& ,ith a design to stro&e it, %sing the common
style and ,histle of ?oc&eys, ,hen they are going to handle a
strange horse$ B%t this animal seemed to receive my civilities
,ith disdain, shoo& his head, and bent his bro,s, softly raising %8
his right foreFfoot to remove my hand$ Then he neighed three or
fo%r times, b%t in so different a cadence, that 1 almost began to
thin& he ,as s8ea&ing to himself, in some lang%age of his o,n$
*hile he and 1 ,ere th%s em8loyed, another horse came %87 ,ho
a88lying himself to the first in a very formal manner, they gently
str%c& each other's right hoof before, neighing several times by
t%rns, and varying the so%nd, ,hich seemed to be almost artic%late$
They ,ent some 8aces off, as if it ,ere to confer together, ,al&ing
side by side, bac&,ard and for,ard, li&e 8ersons deliberating %8on
some affair of ,eight, b%t often t%rning their eyes to,ards me, as
it ,ere to ,atch that 1 might not esca8e$ 1 ,as amaEed to see s%ch
actions and behavio%r in br%te beasts7 and concl%ded ,ith myself,
that if the inhabitants of this co%ntry ,ere end%ed ,ith a
8ro8ortionable degree of reason, they m%st needs be the ,isest
8eo8le %8on earth$ This tho%ght gave me so m%ch comfort, that 1
resolved to go for,ard, %ntil 1 co%ld discover some ho%se or
village, or meet ,ith any of the natives, leaving the t,o horses to
disco%rse together as they 8leased$ B%t the first, ,ho ,as a
da88le gray, observing me to steal off, neighed after me in so
ex8ressive a tone, that 1 fancied myself to %nderstand ,hat he
meant7 ,here%8on 1 t%rned bac&, and came near to him to ex8ect his
farther commandsA b%t concealing my fear as m%ch as 1 co%ld, for 1
began to be in some 8ain ho, this advent%re might terminate7 and
the reader ,ill easily believe 1 did not m%ch li&e my 8resent
The t,o horses came %8 close to me, loo&ing ,ith great earnestness
%8on my face and hands$ The gray steed r%bbed my hat all ro%nd
,ith his right foreFhoof, and discom8osed it so m%ch that 1 ,as
forced to ad?%st it better by ta&ing it off and settling it again7
,hereat, both he and his com8anion B,ho ,as a bro,n bayC a88eared
to be m%ch s%r8risedA the latter felt the la88et of my coat, and
finding it to hang loose abo%t me, they both loo&ed ,ith ne, signs
of ,onder$ -e stro&ed my right hand, seeming to admire the
softness and colo%r7 b%t he s9%eeEed it so hard bet,een his hoof
and his 8astern, that 1 ,as forced to roar7 after ,hich they both
to%ched me ,ith all 8ossible tenderness$ They ,ere %nder great
8er8lexity abo%t my shoes and stoc&ings, ,hich they felt very
often, neighing to each other, and %sing vario%s gest%res, not
%nli&e those of a 8hiloso8her, ,hen he ,o%ld attem8t to solve some
ne, and diffic%lt 8henomenon$
/8on the ,hole, the behavio%r of these animals ,as so orderly and
rational, so ac%te and ?%dicio%s, that 1 at last concl%ded they
m%st needs be magicians, ,ho had th%s metamor8hosed themselves %8on
some design, and seeing a stranger in the ,ay, resolved to divert
themselves ,ith him7 or, 8erha8s, ,ere really amaEed at the sight
of a man so very different in habit, feat%re, and com8lexion, from
those ,ho might 8robably live in so remote a climate$ /8on the
strength of this reasoning, 1 vent%red to address them in the
follo,ing mannerA >Gentlemen, if yo% be con?%rers, as 1 have good
ca%se to believe, yo% can %nderstand my lang%age7 therefore 1 ma&e
bold to let yo%r ,orshi8s &no, that 1 am a 8oor distressed
.nglishman, driven by his misfort%nes %8on yo%r coast7 and 1
entreat one of yo% to let me ride %8on his bac&, as if he ,ere a
real horse, to some ho%se or village ,here 1 can be relieved$ 1n
ret%rn of ,hich favo%r, 1 ,ill ma&e yo% a 8resent of this &nife and
bracelet,> ta&ing them o%t of my 8oc&et$ The t,o creat%res stood
silent ,hile 1 s8o&e, seeming to listen ,ith great attention, and
,hen 1 had ended, they neighed fre9%ently to,ards each other, as if
they ,ere engaged in serio%s conversation$ 1 8lainly observed that
their lang%age ex8ressed the 8assions very ,ell, and the ,ords
might, ,ith little 8ains, be resolved into an al8habet more easily
than the :hinese$
1 co%ld fre9%ently disting%ish the ,ord ;ahoo, ,hich ,as re8eated
by each of them several timesA and altho%gh it ,as im8ossible for
me to con?ect%re ,hat it meant, yet ,hile the t,o horses ,ere b%sy
in conversation, 1 endeavo%red to 8ractise this ,ord %8on my
tong%e7 and as soon as they ,ere silent, 1 boldly 8rono%nced ;ahoo
in a lo%d voice, imitating at the same time, as near as 1 co%ld,
the neighing of a horse7 at ,hich they ,ere both visibly s%r8rised7
and the gray re8eated the same ,ord t,ice, as if he meant to teach
me the right accent7 ,herein 1 s8o&e after him as ,ell as 1 co%ld,
and fo%nd myself 8erceivably to im8rove every time, tho%gh very far
from any degree of 8erfection$ Then the bay tried me ,ith a second
,ord, m%ch harder to be 8rono%nced7 b%t red%cing it to the .nglish
orthogra8hy, may be s8elt th%s, -o%yhnhnm$ 1 did not s%cceed in
this so ,ell as in the former7 b%t after t,o or three farther
trials, 1 had better fort%ne7 and they both a88eared amaEed at my
3fter some f%rther disco%rse, ,hich 1 then con?ect%red might relate
to me, the t,o friends too& their leaves, ,ith the same com8liment
of stri&ing each other's hoof7 and the gray made me signs that 1
sho%ld ,al& before him7 ,herein 1 tho%ght it 8r%dent to com8ly,
till 1 co%ld find a better director$ *hen 1 offered to slac&en my
8ace, he ,o%ld cry hh%%n hh%%nA 1 g%essed his meaning, and gave
him to %nderstand, as ,ell as 1 co%ld, >that 1 ,as ,eary, and not
able to ,al& faster7> %8on ,hich he ,o%ld stand a,hile to let me
:-3PT.( 11$
4The a%thor cond%cted by a -o%yhnhnm to his ho%se$ The ho%se
described$ The a%thor's rece8tion$ The food of the -o%yhnhnms$
The a%thor in distress for ,ant of meat$ 1s at last relieved$ -is
manner of feeding in this co%ntry$5
-aving travelled abo%t three miles, ,e came to a long &ind of
b%ilding, made of timber st%c& in the gro%nd, and ,attled across7
the roof ,as lo, and covered ,ith stra,$ 1 no, began to be a
little comforted7 and too& o%t some toys, ,hich travellers %s%ally
carry for 8resents to the savage 1ndians of 3merica, and other
8arts, in ho8es the 8eo8le of the ho%se ,o%ld be thereby enco%raged
to receive me &indly$ The horse made me a sign to go in first7 it
,as a large room ,ith a smooth clay floor, and a rac& and manger,
extending the ,hole length on one side$ There ,ere three nags and
t,o mares, not eating, b%t some of them sitting do,n %8on their
hams, ,hich 1 very m%ch ,ondered at7 b%t ,ondered more to see the
rest em8loyed in domestic b%siness7 these seemed b%t ordinary
cattle$ -o,ever, this confirmed my first o8inion, that a 8eo8le
,ho co%ld so far civilise br%te animals, m%st needs excel in ,isdom
all the nations of the ,orld$ The gray came in ?%st after, and
thereby 8revented any ill treatment ,hich the others might have
given me$ -e neighed to them several times in a style of
a%thority, and received ans,ers$
Beyond this room there ,ere three others, reaching the length of
the ho%se, to ,hich yo% 8assed thro%gh three doors, o88osite to
each other, in the manner of a vista$ *e ,ent thro%gh the second
room to,ards the third$ -ere the gray ,al&ed in first, bec&oning
me to attendA 1 ,aited in the second room, and got ready my
8resents for the master and mistress of the ho%se7 they ,ere t,o
&nives, three bracelets of false 8earls, a small loo&ingFglass, and
a bead nec&lace$ The horse neighed three or fo%r times, and 1
,aited to hear some ans,ers in a h%man voice, b%t 1 heard no other
ret%rns than in the same dialect, only one or t,o a little shriller
than his$ 1 began to thin& that this ho%se m%st belong to some
8erson of great note among them, beca%se there a88eared so m%ch
ceremony before 1 co%ld gain admittance$ B%t, that a man of
9%ality sho%ld be served all by horses, ,as beyond my
com8rehension$ 1 feared my brain ,as dist%rbed by my s%fferings
and misfort%nes$ 1 ro%sed myself, and loo&ed abo%t me in the room
,here 1 ,as left aloneA this ,as f%rnished li&e the first, only
after a more elegant manner$ 1 r%bbed my eyes often, b%t the same
ob?ects still occ%rred$ 1 8inched my arms and sides to a,a&e
myself, ho8ing 1 might be in a dream$ 1 then absol%tely concl%ded,
that all these a88earances co%ld be nothing else b%t necromancy and
magic$ B%t 1 had no time to 8%rs%e these reflections7 for the gray
horse came to the door, and made me a sign to follo, him into the
third room ,here 1 sa, a very comely mare, together ,ith a colt and
foal, sitting on their ha%nches %8on mats of stra,, not %nartf%lly
made, and 8erfectly neat and clean$
The mare soon after my entrance rose from her mat, and coming %8
close, after having nicely observed my hands and face, gave me a
most contem8t%o%s loo&7 and t%rning to the horse, 1 heard the ,ord
;ahoo often re8eated bet,ixt them7 the meaning of ,hich ,ord 1
co%ld not then com8rehend, altho%gh it ,as the first 1 had learned
to 8rono%nce$ B%t 1 ,as soon better informed, to my everlasting
mortification7 for the horse, bec&oning to me ,ith his head, and
re8eating the hh%%n, hh%%n, as he did %8on the road, ,hich 1
%nderstood ,as to attend him, led me o%t into a &ind of co%rt,
,here ,as another b%ilding, at some distance from the ho%se$ -ere
,e entered, and 1 sa, three of those detestable creat%res, ,hich 1
first met after my landing, feeding %8on roots, and the flesh of
some animals, ,hich 1 after,ards fo%nd to be that of asses and
dogs, and no, and then a co,, dead by accident or disease$ They
,ere all tied by the nec& ,ith strong ,ithes fastened to a beam7
they held their food bet,een the cla,s of their fore feet, and tore
it ,ith their teeth$
The master horse ordered a sorrel nag, one of his servants, to
%ntie the largest of these animals, and ta&e him into the yard$
The beast and 1 ,ere bro%ght close together, and by o%r
co%ntenances diligently com8ared both by master and servant, ,ho
there%8on re8eated several times the ,ord ;ahoo$ 6y horror and
astonishment are not to be described, ,hen 1 observed in this
abominable animal, a 8erfect h%man fig%reA the face of it indeed
,as flat and broad, the nose de8ressed, the li8s large, and the
mo%th ,ide7 b%t these differences are common to all savage nations,
,here the lineaments of the co%ntenance are distorted, by the
natives s%ffering their infants to lie grovelling on the earth, or
by carrying them on their bac&s, n%EEling ,ith their face against
the mothers' sho%lders$ The foreFfeet of the ;ahoo differed from
my hands in nothing else b%t the length of the nails, the
coarseness and bro,nness of the 8alms, and the hairiness on the
bac&s$ There ,as the same resemblance bet,een o%r feet, ,ith the
same differences7 ,hich 1 &ne, very ,ell, tho%gh the horses did
not, beca%se of my shoes and stoc&ings7 the same in every 8art of
o%r bodies exce8t as to hairiness and colo%r, ,hich 1 have already
The great diffic%lty that seemed to stic& ,ith the t,o horses, ,as
to see the rest of my body so very different from that of a ;ahoo,
for ,hich 1 ,as obliged to my clothes, ,hereof they had no
conce8tion$ The sorrel nag offered me a root, ,hich he held Bafter
their manner, as ,e shall describe in its 8ro8er 8laceC bet,een his
hoof and 8astern7 1 too& it in my hand, and, having smelt it,
ret%rned it to him again as civilly as 1 co%ld$ -e bro%ght o%t of
the ;ahoos' &ennel a 8iece of ass's flesh7 b%t it smelt so
offensively that 1 t%rned from it ,ith loathingA he then thre, it
to the ;ahoo, by ,hom it ,as greedily devo%red$ -e after,ards
sho,ed me a ,is8 of hay, and a fetloc& f%ll of oats7 b%t 1 shoo& my
head, to signify that neither of these ,ere food for me$ 3nd
indeed 1 no, a88rehended that 1 m%st absol%tely starve, if 1 did
not get to some of my o,n s8ecies7 for as to those filthy ;ahoos,
altho%gh there ,ere fe, greater lovers of man&ind at that time than
myself, yet 1 confess 1 never sa, any sensitive being so detestable
on all acco%nts7 and the more 1 came near them the more hatef%l
they gre,, ,hile 1 stayed in that co%ntry$ This the master horse
observed by my behavio%r, and therefore sent the ;ahoo bac& to his
&ennel$ -e then 8%t his foreFhoof to his mo%th, at ,hich 1 ,as
m%ch s%r8rised, altho%gh he did it ,ith ease, and ,ith a motion
that a88eared 8erfectly nat%ral, and made other signs, to &no, ,hat
1 ,o%ld eat7 b%t 1 co%ld not ret%rn him s%ch an ans,er as he ,as
able to a88rehend7 and if he had %nderstood me, 1 did not see ho,
it ,as 8ossible to contrive any ,ay for finding myself no%rishment$
*hile ,e ,ere th%s engaged, 1 observed a co, 8assing by, ,here%8on
1 8ointed to her, and ex8ressed a desire to go and mil& her$ This
had its effect7 for he led me bac& into the ho%se, and ordered a
mareFservant to o8en a room, ,here a good store of mil& lay in
earthen and ,ooden vessels, after a very orderly and cleanly
manner$ She gave me a large bo,lf%l, of ,hich 1 dran& very
heartily, and fo%nd myself ,ell refreshed$
3bo%t noon, 1 sa, coming to,ards the ho%se a &ind of vehicle dra,n
li&e a sledge by fo%r ;ahoos$ There ,as in it an old steed, ,ho
seemed to be of 9%ality7 he alighted ,ith his hindFfeet for,ard,
having by accident got a h%rt in his left foreFfoot$ -e came to
dine ,ith o%r horse, ,ho received him ,ith great civility$ They
dined in the best room, and had oats boiled in mil& for the second
co%rse, ,hich the old horse ate ,arm, b%t the rest cold$ Their
mangers ,ere 8laced circ%lar in the middle of the room, and divided
into several 8artitions, ro%nd ,hich they sat on their ha%nches,
%8on bosses of stra,$ 1n the middle ,as a large rac&, ,ith angles
ans,ering to every 8artition of the manger7 so that each horse and
mare ate their o,n hay, and their o,n mash of oats and mil&, ,ith
m%ch decency and reg%larity$ The behavio%r of the yo%ng colt and
foal a88eared very modest, and that of the master and mistress
extremely cheerf%l and com8laisant to their g%est$ The gray
ordered me to stand by him7 and m%ch disco%rse 8assed bet,een him
and his friend concerning me, as 1 fo%nd by the stranger's often
loo&ing on me, and the fre9%ent re8etition of the ,ord ;ahoo$
1 ha88ened to ,ear my gloves, ,hich the master gray observing,
seemed 8er8lexed, discovering signs of ,onder ,hat 1 had done to my
foreFfeet$ -e 8%t his hoof three or fo%r times to them, as if he
,o%ld signify, that 1 sho%ld red%ce them to their former sha8e,
,hich 1 8resently did, 8%lling off both my gloves, and 8%tting them
into my 8oc&et$ This occasioned farther tal&7 and 1 sa, the
com8any ,as 8leased ,ith my behavio%r, ,hereof 1 soon fo%nd the
good effects$ 1 ,as ordered to s8ea& the fe, ,ords 1 %nderstood7
and ,hile they ,ere at dinner, the master ta%ght me the names for
oats, mil&, fire, ,ater, and some others, ,hich 1 co%ld readily
8rono%nce after him, having from my yo%th a great facility in
learning lang%ages$
*hen dinner ,as done, the master horse too& me aside, and by signs
and ,ords made me %nderstand the concern he ,as in that 1 had
nothing to eat$ 2ats in their tong%e are called hl%nnh$ This ,ord
1 8rono%nced t,o or three times7 for altho%gh 1 had ref%sed them at
first, yet, %8on second tho%ghts, 1 considered that 1 co%ld
contrive to ma&e of them a &ind of bread, ,hich might be
s%fficient, ,ith mil&, to &ee8 me alive, till 1 co%ld ma&e my
esca8e to some other co%ntry, and to creat%res of my o,n s8ecies$
The horse immediately ordered a ,hite mare servant of his family to
bring me a good 9%antity of oats in a sort of ,ooden tray$ These 1
heated before the fire, as ,ell as 1 co%ld, and r%bbed them till
the h%s&s came off, ,hich 1 made a shift to ,inno, from the grain$
1 gro%nd and beat them bet,een t,o stones7 then too& ,ater, and
made them into a 8aste or ca&e, ,hich 1 toasted at the fire and eat
,arm ,ith mil&$ 1t ,as at first a very insi8id diet, tho%gh common
eno%gh in many 8arts of .%ro8e, b%t gre, tolerable by time7 and
having been often red%ced to hard fare in my life, this ,as not the
first ex8eriment 1 had made ho, easily nat%re is satisfied$ 3nd 1
cannot b%t observe, that 1 never had one ho%rs sic&ness ,hile 1
stayed in this island$ 1t is tr%e, 1 sometimes made a shift to
catch a rabbit, or bird, by s8rings made of ;ahoo's hairs7 and 1
often gathered ,holesome herbs, ,hich 1 boiled, and ate as salads
,ith my bread7 and no, and then, for a rarity, 1 made a little
b%tter, and dran& the ,hey$ 1 ,as at first at a great loss for
salt, b%t c%stom soon reconciled me to the ,ant of it7 and 1 am
confident that the fre9%ent %se of salt among %s is an effect of
l%x%ry, and ,as first introd%ced only as a 8rovocative to drin&,
exce8t ,here it is necessary for 8reserving flesh in long voyages,
or in 8laces remote from great mar&ets7 for ,e observe no animal to
be fond of it b%t man, and as to myself, ,hen 1 left this co%ntry,
it ,as a great ,hile before 1 co%ld end%re the taste of it in
anything that 1 ate$
This is eno%gh to say %8on the s%b?ect of my diet, ,here,ith other
travellers fill their boo&s, as if the readers ,ere 8ersonally
concerned ,hether ,e fare ,ell or ill$ -o,ever, it ,as necessary
to mention this matter, lest the ,orld sho%ld thin& it im8ossible
that 1 co%ld find s%stenance for three years in s%ch a co%ntry, and
among s%ch inhabitants$
*hen it gre, to,ards evening, the master horse ordered a 8lace for
me to lodge in7 it ,as b%t six yards from the ho%se and se8arated
from the stable of the ;ahoos$ -ere 1 got some stra,, and covering
myself ,ith my o,n clothes, sle8t very so%nd$ B%t 1 ,as in a short
time better accommodated, as the reader shall &no, hereafter, ,hen
1 come to treat more 8artic%larly abo%t my ,ay of living$
:-3PT.( 111$
4The a%thor st%dies to learn the lang%age$ The -o%yhnhnm, his
master, assists in teaching him$ The lang%age described$ Several
-o%yhnhnms of 9%ality come o%t of c%riosity to see the a%thor$ -e
gives his master a short acco%nt of his voyage$5
6y 8rinci8al endeavo%r ,as to learn the lang%age, ,hich my master
Bfor so 1 shall henceforth call himC, and his children, and every
servant of his ho%se, ,ere desiro%s to teach me7 for they loo&ed
%8on it as a 8rodigy, that a br%te animal sho%ld discover s%ch
mar&s of a rational creat%re$ 1 8ointed to every thing, and
in9%ired the name of it, ,hich 1 ,rote do,n in my ?o%rnalFboo& ,hen
1 ,as alone, and corrected my bad accent by desiring those of the
family to 8rono%nce it often$ 1n this em8loyment, a sorrel nag,
one of the %nderFservants, ,as very ready to assist me$
1n s8ea&ing, they 8rono%nced thro%gh the nose and throat, and their
lang%age a88roaches nearest to the -ighFD%tch, or German, of any 1
&no, in .%ro8e7 b%t is m%ch more gracef%l and significant$ The
em8eror :harles =$ made almost the same observation, ,hen he said
>that if he ,ere to s8ea& to his horse, it sho%ld be in -ighF
The c%riosity and im8atience of my master ,ere so great, that he
s8ent many ho%rs of his leis%re to instr%ct me$ -e ,as convinced
Bas he after,ards told meC that 1 m%st be a ;ahoo7 b%t my
teachableness, civility, and cleanliness, astonished him7 ,hich
,ere 9%alities altogether o88osite to those animals$ -e ,as most
8er8lexed abo%t my clothes, reasoning sometimes ,ith himself,
,hether they ,ere a 8art of my bodyA for 1 never 8%lled them off
till the family ,ere aslee8, and got them on before they ,a&ed in
the morning$ 6y master ,as eager to learn >,hence 1 came7 ho, 1
ac9%ired those a88earances of reason, ,hich 1 discovered in all my
actions7 and to &no, my story from my o,n mo%th, ,hich he ho8ed he
sho%ld soon do by the great 8roficiency 1 made in learning and
8rono%ncing their ,ords and sentences$> To hel8 my memory, 1
formed all 1 learned into the .nglish al8habet, and ,rit the ,ords
do,n, ,ith the translations$ This last, after some time, 1
vent%red to do in my master's 8resence$ 1t cost me m%ch tro%ble to
ex8lain to him ,hat 1 ,as doing7 for the inhabitants have not the
least idea of boo&s or literat%re$
1n abo%t ten ,ee&s time, 1 ,as able to %nderstand most of his
9%estions7 and in three months, co%ld give him some tolerable
ans,ers$ -e ,as extremely c%rio%s to &no, >from ,hat 8art of the
co%ntry 1 came, and ho, 1 ,as ta%ght to imitate a rational
creat%re7 beca%se the ;ahoos B,hom he sa, 1 exactly resembled in my
head, hands, and face, that ,ere only visibleC, ,ith some
a88earance of c%nning, and the strongest dis8osition to mischief,
,ere observed to be the most %nteachable of all br%tes$> 1
ans,ered, >that 1 came over the sea, from a far 8lace, ,ith many
others of my o,n &ind, in a great hollo, vessel made of the bodies
of treesA that my com8anions forced me to land on this coast, and
then left me to shift for myself$> 1t ,as ,ith some diffic%lty,
and by the hel8 of many signs, that 1 bro%ght him to %nderstand me$
-e re8lied, >that 1 m%st needs be mista&en, or that 1 said the
thing ,hich ,as not7> for they have no ,ord in their lang%age to
ex8ress lying or falsehood$ >-e &ne, it ,as im8ossible that there
co%ld be a co%ntry beyond the sea, or that a 8arcel of br%tes co%ld
move a ,ooden vessel ,hither they 8leased %8on ,ater$ -e ,as s%re
no -o%yhnhnm alive co%ld ma&e s%ch a vessel, nor ,o%ld tr%st ;ahoos
to manage it$>
The ,ord -o%yhnhnm, in their tong%e, signifies a -2(S., and, in its
etymology, the P.(<.:T12) 2< )3T/(.$ 1 told my master, >that 1 ,as
at a loss for ex8ression, b%t ,o%ld im8rove as fast as 1 co%ld7 and
ho8ed, in a short time, 1 sho%ld be able to tell him ,onders$> -e
,as 8leased to direct his o,n mare, his colt, and foal, and the
servants of the family, to ta&e all o88ort%nities of instr%cting
me7 and every day, for t,o or three ho%rs, he ,as at the same 8ains
himself$ Several horses and mares of 9%ality in the neighbo%rhood
came often to o%r ho%se, %8on the re8ort s8read of >a ,onderf%l
;ahoo, that co%ld s8ea& li&e a -o%yhnhnm, and seemed, in his ,ords
and actions, to discover some glimmerings of reason$> These
delighted to converse ,ith meA they 8%t many 9%estions, and
received s%ch ans,ers as 1 ,as able to ret%rn$ By all these
advantages 1 made so great a 8rogress, that, in five months from my
arrival 1 %nderstood ,hatever ,as s8o&en, and co%ld ex8ress myself
tolerably ,ell$
The -o%yhnhnms, ,ho came to visit my master o%t of a design of
seeing and tal&ing ,ith me, co%ld hardly believe me to be a right
;ahoo, beca%se my body had a different covering from others of my
&ind$ They ,ere astonished to observe me ,itho%t the %s%al hair or
s&in, exce8t on my head, face, and hands7 b%t 1 discovered that
secret to my master %8on an accident ,hich ha88ened abo%t a
fortnight before$
1 have already told the reader, that every night, ,hen the family
,ere gone to bed, it ,as my c%stom to stri8, and cover myself ,ith
my clothes$ 1t ha88ened, one morning early, that my master sent
for me by the sorrel nag, ,ho ,as his valet$ *hen he came 1 ,as
fast aslee8, my clothes fallen off on one side, and my shirt above
my ,aist$ 1 a,a&ed at the noise he made, and observed him to
deliver his message in some disorder7 after ,hich he ,ent to my
master, and in a great fright gave him a very conf%sed acco%nt of
,hat he had seen$ This 1 8resently discovered, for, going as soon
as 1 ,as dressed to 8ay my attendance %8on his hono%r, he as&ed me
>the meaning of ,hat his servant had re8orted, that 1 ,as not the
same thing ,hen 1 sle8t, as 1 a88eared to be at other times7 that
his vale ass%red him, some 8art of me ,as ,hite, some yello,, at
least not so ,hite, and some bro,n$>
1 had hitherto concealed the secret of my dress, in order to
disting%ish myself, as m%ch as 8ossible, from that c%rsed race of
;ahoos7 b%t no, 1 fo%nd it in vain to do so any longer$ Besides, 1
considered that my clothes and shoes ,o%ld soon ,ear o%t, ,hich
already ,ere in a declining condition, and m%st be s%88lied by some
contrivance from the hides of ;ahoos, or other br%tes7 ,hereby the
,hole secret ,o%ld be &no,n$ 1 therefore told my master, >that in
the co%ntry ,hence 1 came, those of my &ind al,ays covered their
bodies ,ith the hairs of certain animals 8re8ared by art, as ,ell
for decency as to avoid the inclemencies of air, both hot and cold7
of ,hich, as to my o,n 8erson, 1 ,o%ld give him immediate
conviction, if he 8leased to command meA only desiring his exc%se,
if 1 did not ex8ose those 8arts that nat%re ta%ght %s to conceal$>
-e said, >my disco%rse ,as all very strange, b%t es8ecially the
last 8art7 for he co%ld not %nderstand, ,hy nat%re sho%ld teach %s
to conceal ,hat nat%re had given7 that neither himself nor family
,ere ashamed of any 8arts of their bodies7 b%t, ho,ever, 1 might do
as 1 8leased$> *here%8on 1 first %nb%ttoned my coat, and 8%lled it
off$ 1 did the same ,ith my ,aistcoat$ 1 dre, off my shoes,
stoc&ings, and breeches$ 1 let my shirt do,n to my ,aist, and dre,
%8 the bottom7 fastening it li&e a girdle abo%t my middle, to hide
my na&edness$
6y master observed the ,hole 8erformance ,ith great signs of
c%riosity and admiration$ -e too& %8 all my clothes in his
8astern, one 8iece after another, and examined them diligently7 he
then stro&ed my body very gently, and loo&ed ro%nd me several
times7 after ,hich, he said, it ,as 8lain 1 m%st be a 8erfect
;ahoo7 b%t that 1 differed very m%ch from the rest of my s8ecies in
the softness, ,hiteness, and smoothness of my s&in7 my ,ant of hair
in several 8arts of my body7 the sha8e and shortness of my cla,s
behind and before7 and my affectation of ,al&ing contin%ally on my
t,o hinder feet$ -e desired to see no more7 and gave me leave to
8%t on my clothes again, for 1 ,as sh%ddering ,ith cold$
1 ex8ressed my %neasiness at his giving me so often the a88ellation
of ;ahoo, an odio%s animal, for ,hich 1 had so %tter a hatred and
contem8tA 1 begged he ,o%ld forbear a88lying that ,ord to me, and
ma&e the same order in his family and among his friends ,hom he
s%ffered to see me$ 1 re9%ested li&e,ise, >that the secret of my
having a false covering to my body, might be &no,n to none b%t
himself, at least as long as my 8resent clothing sho%ld last7 for
as to ,hat the sorrel nag, his valet, had observed, his hono%r
might command him to conceal it$>
3ll this my master very gracio%sly consented to7 and th%s the
secret ,as &e8t till my clothes began to ,ear o%t, ,hich 1 ,as
forced to s%88ly by several contrivances that shall hereafter be
mentioned$ 1n the meantime, he desired >1 ,o%ld go on ,ith my
%tmost diligence to learn their lang%age, beca%se he ,as more
astonished at my ca8acity for s8eech and reason, than at the fig%re
of my body, ,hether it ,ere covered or not7> adding, >that he
,aited ,ith some im8atience to hear the ,onders ,hich 1 8romised to
tell him$>
Thencefor,ard he do%bled the 8ains he had been at to instr%ct meA
he bro%ght me into all com8any, and made them treat me ,ith
civility7 >beca%se,> as he told them, 8rivately, >this ,o%ld 8%t me
into good h%mo%r, and ma&e me more diverting$>
.very day, ,hen 1 ,aited on him, beside the tro%ble he ,as at in
teaching, he ,o%ld as& me several 9%estions concerning myself,
,hich 1 ans,ered as ,ell as 1 co%ld, and by these means he had
already received some general ideas, tho%gh very im8erfect$ 1t
,o%ld be tedio%s to relate the several ste8s by ,hich 1 advanced to
a more reg%lar conversation7 b%t the first acco%nt 1 gave of myself
in any order and length ,as to this 8%r8oseA
>That 1 came from a very far co%ntry, as 1 already had attem8ted to
tell him, ,ith abo%t fifty more of my o,n s8ecies7 that ,e
travelled %8on the seas in a great hollo, vessel made of ,ood, and
larger than his hono%r's ho%se$ 1 described the shi8 to him in the
best terms 1 co%ld, and ex8lained, by the hel8 of my hand&erchief
dis8layed, ho, it ,as driven for,ard by the ,ind$ That %8on a
9%arrel among %s, 1 ,as set on shore on this coast, ,here 1 ,al&ed
for,ard, ,itho%t &no,ing ,hither, till he delivered me from the
8ersec%tion of those execrable ;ahoos$> -e as&ed me, >,ho made the
shi8, and ho, it ,as 8ossible that the -o%yhnhnms of my co%ntry
,o%ld leave it to the management of br%tesD> 6y ans,er ,as, >that
1 d%rst 8roceed no f%rther in my relation, %nless he ,o%ld give me
his ,ord and hono%r that he ,o%ld not be offended, and then 1 ,o%ld
tell him the ,onders 1 had so often 8romised$> -e agreed7 and 1
,ent on by ass%ring him, that the shi8 ,as made by creat%res li&e
myself7 ,ho, in all the co%ntries 1 had travelled, as ,ell as in my
o,n, ,ere the only governing rational animals7 and that %8on my
arrival hither, 1 ,as as m%ch astonished to see the -o%yhnhnms act
li&e rational beings, as he, or his friends, co%ld be, in finding
some mar&s of reason in a creat%re he ,as 8leased to call a ;ahoo7
to ,hich 1 o,ned my resemblance in every 8art, b%t co%ld not
acco%nt for their degenerate and br%tal nat%re$ 1 said farther,
>that if good fort%ne ever restored me to my native co%ntry, to
relate my travels hither, as 1 resolved to do, everybody ,o%ld
believe, that 1 said the thing that ,as not, that 1 invented the
story o%t of my o,n head7 and B,ith all 8ossible res8ect to
himself, his family, and friends, and %nder his 8romise of not
being offendedC o%r co%ntrymen ,o%ld hardly thin& it 8robable that
a -o%yhnhnm sho%ld be the 8residing creat%re of a nation, and a
;ahoo the br%te$>
:-3PT.( 1=$
4The -o%yhnhnm's notion of tr%th and falsehood$ The a%thor's
disco%rse disa88roved by his master$ The a%thor gives a more
8artic%lar acco%nt of himself, and the accidents of his voyage$5
6y master heard me ,ith great a88earances of %neasiness in his
co%ntenance7 beca%se do%bting, or not believing, are so little
&no,n in this co%ntry, that the inhabitants cannot tell ho, to
behave themselves %nder s%ch circ%mstances$ 3nd 1 remember, in
fre9%ent disco%rses ,ith my master concerning the nat%re of manhood
in other 8arts of the ,orld, having occasion to tal& of lying and
false re8resentation, it ,as ,ith m%ch diffic%lty that he
com8rehended ,hat 1 meant, altho%gh he had other,ise a most ac%te
?%dgment$ <or he arg%ed th%sA >that the %se of s8eech ,as to ma&e
%s %nderstand one another, and to receive information of facts7
no,, if any one said the thing ,hich ,as not, these ends ,ere
defeated, beca%se 1 cannot 8ro8erly be said to %nderstand him7 and
1 am so far from receiving information, that he leaves me ,orse
than in ignorance7 for 1 am led to believe a thing blac&, ,hen it
is ,hite, and short, ,hen it is long$> 3nd these ,ere all the
notions he had concerning that fac%lty of lying, so 8erfectly ,ell
%nderstood, and so %niversally 8ractised, among h%man creat%res$
To ret%rn from this digression$ *hen 1 asserted that the ;ahoos
,ere the only governing animals in my co%ntry, ,hich my master said
,as altogether 8ast his conce8tion, he desired to &no,, >,hether ,e
had -o%yhnhnms among %s, and ,hat ,as their em8loymentD> 1 told
him, >,e had great n%mbers7 that in s%mmer they graEed in the
fields, and in ,inter ,ere &e8t in ho%ses ,ith hay and oats, ,here
;ahoo servants ,ere em8loyed to r%b their s&ins smooth, comb their
manes, 8ic& their feet, serve them ,ith food, and ma&e their beds$>
>1 %nderstand yo% ,ell,> said my masterA >it is no, very 8lain,
from all yo% have s8o&en, that ,hatever share of reason the ;ahoos
8retend to, the -o%yhnhnms are yo%r masters7 1 heartily ,ish o%r
;ahoos ,o%ld be so tractable$> 1 begged >his hono%r ,o%ld 8lease
to exc%se me from 8roceeding any f%rther, beca%se 1 ,as very
certain that the acco%nt he ex8ected from me ,o%ld be highly
dis8leasing$> B%t he insisted in commanding me to let him &no, the
best and the ,orst$ 1 told him >he sho%ld be obeyed$> 1 o,ned
>that the -o%yhnhnms among %s, ,hom ,e called horses, ,ere the most
genero%s and comely animals ,e had7 that they excelled in strength
and s,iftness7 and ,hen they belonged to 8ersons of 9%ality, ,ere
em8loyed in travelling, racing, or dra,ing chariots7 they ,ere
treated ,ith m%ch &indness and care, till they fell into diseases,
or became fo%ndered in the feet7 b%t then they ,ere sold, and %sed
to all &ind of dr%dgery till they died7 after ,hich their s&ins
,ere stri88ed, and sold for ,hat they ,ere ,orth, and their bodies
left to be devo%red by dogs and birds of 8rey$ B%t the common race
of horses had not so good fort%ne, being &e8t by farmers and
carriers, and other mean 8eo8le, ,ho 8%t them to greater labo%r,
and fed them ,orse$> 1 described, as ,ell as 1 co%ld, o%r ,ay of
riding7 the sha8e and %se of a bridle, a saddle, a s8%r, and a
,hi87 of harness and ,heels$ 1 added, >that ,e fastened 8lates of
a certain hard s%bstance, called iron, at the bottom of their feet,
to 8reserve their hoofs from being bro&en by the stony ,ays, on
,hich ,e often travelled$>
6y master, after some ex8ressions of great indignation, ,ondered
>ho, ,e dared to vent%re %8on a -o%yhnhnm's bac&7 for he ,as s%re,
that the ,ea&est servant in his ho%se ,o%ld be able to sha&e off
the strongest ;ahoo7 or by lying do,n and rolling on his bac&,
s9%eeEe the br%te to death$> 1 ans,ered >that o%r horses ,ere
trained %8, from three or fo%r years old, to the several %ses ,e
intended them for7 that if any of them 8roved intolerably vicio%s,
they ,ere em8loyed for carriages7 that they ,ere severely beaten,
,hile they ,ere yo%ng, for any mischievo%s tric&s7 that the males,
designed for the common %se of riding or dra%ght, ,ere generally
castrated abo%t t,o years after their birth, to ta&e do,n their
s8irits, and ma&e them more tame and gentle7 that they ,ere indeed
sensible of re,ards and 8%nishments7 b%t his hono%r ,o%ld 8lease to
consider, that they had not the least tinct%re of reason, any more
than the ;ahoos in this co%ntry$>
1t 8%t me to the 8ains of many circ%mloc%tions, to give my master a
right idea of ,hat 1 s8o&e7 for their lang%age does not abo%nd in
variety of ,ords, beca%se their ,ants and 8assions are fe,er than
among %s$ B%t it is im8ossible to ex8ress his noble resentment at
o%r savage treatment of the -o%yhnhnm race7 8artic%larly after 1
had ex8lained the manner and %se of castrating horses among %s, to
hinder them from 8ro8agating their &ind, and to render them more
servile$ -e said, >if it ,ere 8ossible there co%ld be any co%ntry
,here ;ahoos alone ,ere end%ed ,ith reason, they certainly m%st be
the governing animal7 beca%se reason in time ,ill al,ays 8revail
against br%tal strength$ B%t, considering the frame of o%r bodies,
and es8ecially of mine, he tho%ght no creat%re of e9%al b%l& ,as so
illFcontrived for em8loying that reason in the common offices of
life7> ,here%8on he desired to &no, ,hether those among ,hom 1
lived resembled me, or the ;ahoos of his co%ntryD> 1 ass%red him,
>that 1 ,as as ,ell sha8ed as most of my age7 b%t the yo%nger, and
the females, ,ere m%ch more soft and tender, and the s&ins of the
latter generally as ,hite as mil&$> -e said, >1 differed indeed
from other ;ahoos, being m%ch more cleanly, and not altogether so
deformed7 b%t, in 8oint of real advantage, he tho%ght 1 differed
for the ,orseA that my nails ,ere of no %se either to my fore or
hinder feet7 as to my fore feet, he co%ld not 8ro8erly call them by
that name, for he never observed me to ,al& %8on them7 that they
,ere too soft to bear the gro%nd7 that 1 generally ,ent ,ith them
%ncovered7 neither ,as the covering 1 sometimes ,ore on them of the
same sha8e, or so strong as that on my feet behindA that 1 co%ld
not ,al& ,ith any sec%rity, for if either of my hinder feet
sli88ed, 1 m%st inevitably fail$> -e then began to find fa%lt ,ith
other 8arts of my bodyA >the flatness of my face, the 8rominence
of my nose, mine eyes 8laced directly in front, so that 1 co%ld not
loo& on either side ,itho%t t%rning my headA that 1 ,as not able
to feed myself, ,itho%t lifting one of my foreFfeet to my mo%thA
and therefore nat%re had 8laced those ?oints to ans,er that
necessity$ -e &ne, not ,hat co%ld be the %se of those several
clefts and divisions in my feet behind7 that these ,ere too soft to
bear the hardness and shar8ness of stones, ,itho%t a covering made
from the s&in of some other br%te7 that my ,hole body ,anted a
fence against heat and cold, ,hich 1 ,as forced to 8%t on and off
every day, ,ith tedio%sness and tro%bleA and lastly, that he
observed every animal in this co%ntry nat%rally to abhor the
;ahoos, ,hom the ,ea&er avoided, and the stronger drove from them$
So that, s%88osing %s to have the gift of reason, he co%ld not see
ho, it ,ere 8ossible to c%re that nat%ral anti8athy, ,hich every
creat%re discovered against %s7 nor conse9%ently ho, ,e co%ld tame
and render them serviceable$ -o,ever, he ,o%ld,> as he said,
>debate the matter no farther, beca%se he ,as more desiro%s to &no,
my o,n story, the co%ntry ,here 1 ,as born, and the several actions
and events of my life, before 1 came hither$>
1 ass%red him, >ho, extremely desiro%s 1 ,as that he sho%ld be
satisfied on every 8oint7 b%t 1 do%bted m%ch, ,hether it ,o%ld be
8ossible for me to ex8lain myself on several s%b?ects, ,hereof his
hono%r co%ld have no conce8tion7 beca%se 1 sa, nothing in his
co%ntry to ,hich 1 co%ld resemble them7 that, ho,ever, 1 ,o%ld do
my best, and strive to ex8ress myself by similit%des, h%mbly
desiring his assistance ,hen 1 ,anted 8ro8er ,ords7> ,hich he ,as
8leased to 8romise me$
1 said, >my birth ,as of honest 8arents, in an island called
.ngland7 ,hich ,as remote from his co%ntry, as many days' ?o%rney
as the strongest of his hono%r's servants co%ld travel in the
ann%al co%rse of the s%n7 that 1 ,as bred a s%rgeon, ,hose trade it
is to c%re ,o%nds and h%rts in the body, gotten by accident or
violence7 that my co%ntry ,as governed by a female man, ,hom ,e
called 9%een7 that 1 left it to get riches, ,hereby 1 might
maintain myself and family, ,hen 1 sho%ld ret%rn7 that, in my last
voyage, 1 ,as commander of the shi8, and had abo%t fifty ;ahoos
%nder me, many of ,hich died at sea, and 1 ,as forced to s%88ly
them by others 8ic&ed o%t from several nations7 that o%r shi8 ,as
t,ice in danger of being s%n&, the first time by a great storm, and
the second by stri&ing against a roc&$> -ere my master inter8osed,
by as&ing me, >ho, 1 co%ld 8ers%ade strangers, o%t of different
co%ntries, to vent%re ,ith me, after the losses 1 had s%stained,
and the haEards 1 had r%nD> 1 said, >they ,ere fello,s of
des8erate fort%nes, forced to fly from the 8laces of their birth on
acco%nt of their 8overty or their crimes$ Some ,ere %ndone by
la,s%its7 others s8ent all they had in drin&ing, ,horing, and
gaming7 others fled for treason7 many for m%rder, theft, 8oisoning,
robbery, 8er?%ry, forgery, coining false money, for committing
ra8es, or sodomy7 for flying from their colo%rs, or deserting to
the enemy7 and most of them had bro&en 8rison7 none of these d%rst
ret%rn to their native co%ntries, for fear of being hanged, or of
starving in a ?ail7 and therefore they ,ere %nder the necessity of
see&ing a livelihood in other 8laces$>
D%ring this disco%rse, my master ,as 8leased to interr%8t me
several times$ 1 had made %se of many circ%mloc%tions in
describing to him the nat%re of the several crimes for ,hich most
of o%r cre, had been forced to fly their co%ntry$ This labo%r too&
%8 several days' conversation, before he ,as able to com8rehend me$
-e ,as ,holly at a loss to &no, ,hat co%ld be the %se or necessity
of 8ractising those vices$ To clear %8 ,hich, 1 endeavo%red to
give some ideas of the desire of 8o,er and riches7 of the terrible
effects of l%st, intem8erance, malice, and envy$ 3ll this 1 ,as
forced to define and describe by 8%tting cases and ma&ing
s%88ositions$ 3fter ,hich, li&e one ,hose imagination ,as str%c&
,ith something never seen or heard of before, he ,o%ld lift %8 his
eyes ,ith amaEement and indignation$ Po,er, government, ,ar, la,,
8%nishment, and a tho%sand other things, had no terms ,herein that
lang%age co%ld ex8ress them, ,hich made the diffic%lty almost
ins%8erable, to give my master any conce8tion of ,hat 1 meant$ B%t
being of an excellent %nderstanding, m%ch im8roved by contem8lation
and converse, he at last arrived at a com8etent &no,ledge of ,hat
h%man nat%re, in o%r 8arts of the ,orld, is ca8able to 8erform, and
desired 1 ,o%ld give him some 8artic%lar acco%nt of that land ,hich
,e call .%ro8e, b%t es8ecially of my o,n co%ntry$
:-3PT.( =$
4The a%thor at his master's command, informs him of the state of
.ngland$ The ca%ses of ,ar among the 8rinces of .%ro8e$ The a%thor
begins to ex8lain the .nglish constit%tion$5
The reader may 8lease to observe, that the follo,ing extract of
many conversations 1 had ,ith my master, contains a s%mmary of the
most material 8oints ,hich ,ere disco%rsed at several times for
above t,o years7 his hono%r often desiring f%ller satisfaction, as
1 farther im8roved in the -o%yhnhnm tong%e$ 1 laid before him, as
,ell as 1 co%ld, the ,hole state of .%ro8e7 1 disco%rsed of trade
and man%fact%res, of arts and sciences7 and the ans,ers 1 gave to
all the 9%estions he made, as they arose %8on several s%b?ects,
,ere a f%nd of conversation not to be exha%sted$ B%t 1 shall here
only set do,n the s%bstance of ,hat 8assed bet,een %s concerning my
o,n co%ntry, red%cing it in order as ,ell as 1 can, ,itho%t any
regard to time or other circ%mstances, ,hile 1 strictly adhere to
tr%th$ 6y only concern is, that 1 shall hardly be able to do
?%stice to my master's arg%ments and ex8ressions, ,hich m%st needs
s%ffer by my ,ant of ca8acity, as ,ell as by a translation into o%r
barbaro%s .nglish$
1n obedience, therefore, to his hono%r's commands, 1 related to him
the (evol%tion %nder the Prince of 2range7 the long ,ar ,ith
<rance, entered into by the said 8rince, and rene,ed by his
s%ccessor, the 8resent 9%een, ,herein the greatest 8o,ers of
:hristendom ,ere engaged, and ,hich still contin%edA 1 com8%ted,
at his re9%est, >that abo%t a million of ;ahoos might have been
&illed in the ,hole 8rogress of it7 and 8erha8s a h%ndred or more
cities ta&en, and five times as many shi8s b%rnt or s%n&$>
-e as&ed me, >,hat ,ere the %s%al ca%ses or motives that made one
co%ntry go to ,ar ,ith anotherD> 1 ans,ered >they ,ere
inn%merable7 b%t 1 sho%ld only mention a fe, of the chief$
Sometimes the ambition of 8rinces, ,ho never thin& they have land
or 8eo8le eno%gh to govern7 sometimes the corr%8tion of ministers,
,ho engage their master in a ,ar, in order to stifle or divert the
clamo%r of the s%b?ects against their evil administration$
Difference in o8inions has cost many millions of livesA for
instance, ,hether flesh be bread, or bread be flesh7 ,hether the
?%ice of a certain berry be blood or ,ine7 ,hether ,histling be a
vice or a virt%e7 ,hether it be better to &iss a 8ost, or thro, it
into the fire7 ,hat is the best colo%r for a coat, ,hether blac&,
,hite, red, or gray7 and ,hether it sho%ld be long or short, narro,
or ,ide, dirty or clean7 ,ith many more$ )either are any ,ars so
f%rio%s and bloody, or of so long a contin%ance, as those
occasioned by difference in o8inion, es8ecially if it be in things
>Sometimes the 9%arrel bet,een t,o 8rinces is to decide ,hich of
them shall dis8ossess a third of his dominions, ,here neither of
them 8retend to any right$ Sometimes one 8rince 9%arrels ,ith
another for fear the other sho%ld 9%arrel ,ith him$ Sometimes a
,ar is entered %8on, beca%se the enemy is too strong7 and
sometimes, beca%se he is too ,ea&$ Sometimes o%r neighbo%rs ,ant
the things ,hich ,e have, or have the things ,hich ,e ,ant, and ,e
both fight, till they ta&e o%rs, or give %s theirs$ 1t is a very
?%stifiable ca%se of a ,ar, to invade a co%ntry after the 8eo8le
have been ,asted by famine, destroyed by 8estilence, or embroiled
by factions among themselves$ 1t is ?%stifiable to enter into ,ar
against o%r nearest ally, ,hen one of his to,ns lies convenient for
%s, or a territory of land, that ,o%ld render o%r dominions ro%nd
and com8lete$ 1f a 8rince sends forces into a nation, ,here the
8eo8le are 8oor and ignorant, he may la,f%lly 8%t half of them to
death, and ma&e slaves of the rest, in order to civiliEe and red%ce
them from their barbaro%s ,ay of living$ 1t is a very &ingly,
hono%rable, and fre9%ent 8ractice, ,hen one 8rince desires the
assistance of another, to sec%re him against an invasion, that the
assistant, ,hen he has driven o%t the invader, sho%ld seiEe on the
dominions himself, and &ill, im8rison, or banish, the 8rince he
came to relieve$ 3lliance by blood, or marriage, is a fre9%ent
ca%se of ,ar bet,een 8rinces7 and the nearer the &indred is, the
greater their dis8osition to 9%arrel7 8oor nations are h%ngry, and
rich nations are 8ro%d7 and 8ride and h%nger ,ill ever be at
variance$ <or these reasons, the trade of a soldier is held the
most hono%rable of all others7 beca%se a soldier is a ;ahoo hired
to &ill, in cold blood, as many of his o,n s8ecies, ,ho have never
offended him, as 8ossibly he can$
>There is li&e,ise a &ind of beggarly 8rinces in .%ro8e, not able
to ma&e ,ar by themselves, ,ho hire o%t their troo8s to richer
nations, for so m%ch a day to each man7 of ,hich they &ee8 threeF
fo%rths to themselves, and it is the best 8art of their
maintenanceA s%ch are those in many northern 8arts of .%ro8e$>
>*hat yo% have told me,> said my master, >%8on the s%b?ect of ,ar,
does indeed discover most admirably the effects of that reason yo%
8retend toA ho,ever, it is ha88y that the shame is greater than
the danger7 and that nat%re has left yo% %tterly inca8able of doing
m%ch mischief$ <or, yo%r mo%ths lying flat ,ith yo%r faces, yo%
can hardly bite each other to any 8%r8ose, %nless by consent$ Then
as to the cla,s %8on yo%r feet before and behind, they are so short
and tender, that one of o%r ;ahoos ,o%ld drive a doEen of yo%rs
before him$ 3nd therefore, in reco%nting the n%mbers of those ,ho
have been &illed in battle, 1 cannot b%t thin& yo% have said the
thing ,hich is not$>
1 co%ld not forbear sha&ing my head, and smiling a little at his
ignorance$ 3nd being no stranger to the art of ,ar, 1 gave him a
descri8tion of cannons, c%lverins, m%s&ets, carabines, 8istols,
b%llets, 8o,der, s,ords, bayonets, battles, sieges, retreats,
attac&s, %ndermines, co%ntermines, bombardments, sea fights, shi8s
s%n& ,ith a tho%sand men, t,enty tho%sand &illed on each side,
dying groans, limbs flying in the air, smo&e, noise, conf%sion,
tram8ling to death %nder horses' feet, flight, 8%rs%it, victory7
fields stre,ed ,ith carcases, left for food to dogs and ,olves and
birds of 8rey7 8l%ndering, stri88ing, ravishing, b%rning, and
destroying$ 3nd to set forth the valo%r of my o,n dear co%ntrymen,
1 ass%red him, >that 1 had seen them blo, %8 a h%ndred enemies at
once in a siege, and as many in a shi8, and beheld the dead bodies
dro8 do,n in 8ieces from the clo%ds, to the great diversion of the
1 ,as going on to more 8artic%lars, ,hen my master commanded me
silence$ -e said, >,hoever %nderstood the nat%re of ;ahoos, might
easily believe it 8ossible for so vile an animal to be ca8able of
every action 1 had named, if their strength and c%nning e9%alled
their malice$ B%t as my disco%rse had increased his abhorrence of
the ,hole s8ecies, so he fo%nd it gave him a dist%rbance in his
mind to ,hich he ,as ,holly a stranger before$ -e tho%ght his
ears, being %sed to s%ch abominable ,ords, might, by degrees, admit
them ,ith less detestationA that altho%gh he hated the ;ahoos of
this co%ntry, yet he no more blamed them for their odio%s
9%alities, than he did a gnnayh Ba bird of 8reyC for its cr%elty,
or a shar8 stone for c%tting his hoof$ B%t ,hen a creat%re
8retending to reason co%ld be ca8able of s%ch enormities, he
dreaded lest the corr%8tion of that fac%lty might be ,orse than
br%tality itself$ -e seemed therefore confident, that, instead of
reason ,e ,ere only 8ossessed of some 9%ality fitted to increase
o%r nat%ral vices7 as the reflection from a tro%bled stream ret%rns
the image of an ill sha8en body, not only larger b%t more
-e added, >that he had heard too m%ch %8on the s%b?ect of ,ar, both
in this and some former disco%rses$ There ,as another 8oint, ,hich
a little 8er8lexed him at 8resent$ 1 had informed him, that some
of o%r cre, left their co%ntry on acco%nt of being r%ined by la,7
that 1 had already ex8lained the meaning of the ,ord7 b%t he ,as at
a loss ho, it sho%ld come to 8ass, that the la,, ,hich ,as intended
for every man's 8reservation, sho%ld be any man's r%in$ Therefore
he desired to be f%rther satisfied ,hat 1 meant by la,, and the
dis8ensers thereof, according to the 8resent 8ractice in my o,n
co%ntry7 beca%se he tho%ght nat%re and reason ,ere s%fficient
g%ides for a reasonable animal, as ,e 8retended to be, in sho,ing
%s ,hat he o%ght to do, and ,hat to avoid$>
1 ass%red his hono%r, >that the la, ,as a science in ,hich 1 had
not m%ch conversed, f%rther than by em8loying advocates, in vain,
%8on some in?%stices that had been done meA ho,ever, 1 ,o%ld give
him all the satisfaction 1 ,as able$>
1 said, >there ,as a society of men among %s, bred %8 from their
yo%th in the art of 8roving, by ,ords m%lti8lied for the 8%r8ose,
that ,hite is blac&, and blac& is ,hite, according as they are
8aid$ To this society all the rest of the 8eo8le are slaves$ <or
exam8le, if my neighbo%r has a mind to my co,, he has a la,yer to
8rove that he o%ght to have my co, from me$ 1 m%st then hire
another to defend my right, it being against all r%les of la, that
any man sho%ld be allo,ed to s8ea& for himself$ )o,, in this case,
1, ,ho am the right o,ner, lie %nder t,o great disadvantagesA
first, my la,yer, being 8ractised almost from his cradle in
defending falsehood, is 9%ite o%t of his element ,hen he ,o%ld be
an advocate for ?%stice, ,hich is an %nnat%ral office he al,ays
attem8ts ,ith great a,&,ardness, if not ,ith illF,ill$ The second
disadvantage is, that my la,yer m%st 8roceed ,ith great ca%tion, or
else he ,ill be re8rimanded by the ?%dges, and abhorred by his
brethren, as one that ,o%ld lessen the 8ractice of the la,$ 3nd
therefore 1 have b%t t,o methods to 8reserve my co,$ The first is,
to gain over my adversary's la,yer ,ith a do%ble fee, ,ho ,ill then
betray his client by insin%ating that he hath ?%stice on his side$
The second ,ay is for my la,yer to ma&e my ca%se a88ear as %n?%st
as he can, by allo,ing the co, to belong to my adversaryA and
this, if it be s&ilf%lly done, ,ill certainly bes8ea& the favo%r of
the bench$ )o, yo%r hono%r is to &no,, that these ?%dges are
8ersons a88ointed to decide all controversies of 8ro8erty, as ,ell
as for the trial of criminals, and 8ic&ed o%t from the most
dextero%s la,yers, ,ho are gro,n old or laEy7 and having been
biassed all their lives against tr%th and e9%ity, lie %nder s%ch a
fatal necessity of favo%ring fra%d, 8er?%ry, and o88ression, that 1
have &no,n some of them ref%se a large bribe from the side ,here
?%stice lay, rather than in?%re the fac%lty, by doing any thing
%nbecoming their nat%re or their office$
>1t is a maxim among these la,yers that ,hatever has been done
before, may legally be done againA and therefore they ta&e s8ecial
care to record all the decisions formerly made against common
?%stice, and the general reason of man&ind$ These, %nder the name
of 8recedents, they 8rod%ce as a%thorities to ?%stify the most
ini9%ito%s o8inions7 and the ?%dges never fail of directing
>1n 8leading, they st%dio%sly avoid entering into the merits of the
ca%se7 b%t are lo%d, violent, and tedio%s, in d,elling %8on all
circ%mstances ,hich are not to the 8%r8ose$ <or instance, in the
case already mentioned7 they never desire to &no, ,hat claim or
title my adversary has to my co,7 b%t ,hether the said co, ,ere red
or blac&7 her horns long or short7 ,hether the field 1 graEe her in
be ro%nd or s9%are7 ,hether she ,as mil&ed at home or abroad7 ,hat
diseases she is s%b?ect to, and the li&e7 after ,hich they cons%lt
8recedents, ad?o%rn the ca%se from time to time, and in ten,
t,enty, or thirty years, come to an iss%e$
>1t is li&e,ise to be observed, that this society has a 8ec%liar
cant and ?argon of their o,n, that no other mortal can %nderstand,
and ,herein all their la,s are ,ritten, ,hich they ta&e s8ecial
care to m%lti8ly7 ,hereby they have ,holly confo%nded the very
essence of tr%th and falsehood, of right and ,rong7 so that it ,ill
ta&e thirty years to decide, ,hether the field left me by my
ancestors for six generations belongs to me, or to a stranger three
h%ndred miles off$
>1n the trial of 8ersons acc%sed for crimes against the state, the
method is m%ch more short and commendableA the ?%dge first sends
to so%nd the dis8osition of those in 8o,er, after ,hich he can
easily hang or save a criminal, strictly 8reserving all d%e forms
of la,$>
-ere my master inter8osing, said, >it ,as a 8ity, that creat%res
endo,ed ,ith s%ch 8rodigio%s abilities of mind, as these la,yers,
by the descri8tion 1 gave of them, m%st certainly be, ,ere not
rather enco%raged to be instr%ctors of others in ,isdom and
&no,ledge$> 1n ans,er to ,hich 1 ass%red his hono%r, >that in all
8oints o%t of their o,n trade, they ,ere %s%ally the most ignorant
and st%8id generation among %s, the most des8icable in common
conversation, avo,ed enemies to all &no,ledge and learning, and
e9%ally dis8osed to 8ervert the general reason of man&ind in every
other s%b?ect of disco%rse as in that of their o,n 8rofession$>
:-3PT.( =1$
43 contin%ation of the state of .ngland %nder @%een 3nne$ The
character of a first minister of state in .%ro8ean co%rts$5
6y master ,as yet ,holly at a loss to %nderstand ,hat motives co%ld
incite this race of la,yers to 8er8lex, dis9%iet, and ,eary
themselves, and engage in a confederacy of in?%stice, merely for
the sa&e of in?%ring their fello,Fanimals7 neither co%ld he
com8rehend ,hat 1 meant in saying, they did it for hire$ *here%8on
1 ,as at m%ch 8ains to describe to him the %se of money, the
materials it ,as made of, and the val%e of the metals7 >that ,hen a
;ahoo had got a great store of this 8recio%s s%bstance, he ,as able
to 8%rchase ,hatever he had a mind to7 the finest clothing, the
noblest ho%ses, great tracts of land, the most costly meats and
drin&s, and have his choice of the most bea%tif%l females$
Therefore since money alone ,as able to 8erform all these feats,
o%r ;ahoos tho%ght they co%ld never have eno%gh of it to s8end, or
to save, as they fo%nd themselves inclined, from their nat%ral bent
either to 8rof%sion or avarice7 that the rich man en?oyed the fr%it
of the 8oor man's labo%r, and the latter ,ere a tho%sand to one in
8ro8ortion to the former7 that the b%l& of o%r 8eo8le ,ere forced
to live miserably, by labo%ring every day for small ,ages, to ma&e
a fe, live 8lentif%lly$>
1 enlarged myself m%ch on these, and many other 8artic%lars to the
same 8%r8ose7 b%t his hono%r ,as still to see&7 for he ,ent %8on a
s%88osition, that all animals had a title to their share in the
8rod%ctions of the earth, and es8ecially those ,ho 8resided over
the rest$ Therefore he desired 1 ,o%ld let him &no,, >,hat these
costly meats ,ere, and ho, any of %s ha88ened to ,ant themD>
*here%8on 1 en%merated as many sorts as came into my head, ,ith the
vario%s methods of dressing them, ,hich co%ld not be done ,itho%t
sending vessels by sea to every 8art of the ,orld, as ,ell for
li9%ors to drin& as for sa%ces and inn%merable other conveniences$
1 ass%red him >that this ,hole globe of earth m%st be at least
three times gone ro%nd before one of o%r better female ;ahoos co%ld
get her brea&fast, or a c%8 to 8%t it in$> -e said >that m%st
needs be a miserable co%ntry ,hich cannot f%rnish food for its o,n
inhabitants$ B%t ,hat he chiefly ,ondered at ,as, ho, s%ch vast
tracts of gro%nd as 1 described sho%ld be ,holly ,itho%t fresh
,ater, and the 8eo8le 8%t to the necessity of sending over the sea
for drin&$> 1 re8lied >that .ngland Bthe dear 8lace of my
nativityC ,as com8%ted to 8rod%ce three times the 9%antity of food
more than its inhabitants are able to cons%me, as ,ell as li9%ors
extracted from grain, or 8ressed o%t of the fr%it of certain trees,
,hich made excellent drin&, and the same 8ro8ortion in every other
convenience of life$ B%t, in order to feed the l%x%ry and
intem8erance of the males, and the vanity of the females, ,e sent
a,ay the greatest 8art of o%r necessary things to other co%ntries,
,hence, in ret%rn, ,e bro%ght the materials of diseases, folly, and
vice, to s8end among o%rselves$ -ence it follo,s of necessity,
that vast n%mbers of o%r 8eo8le are com8elled to see& their
livelihood by begging, robbing, stealing, cheating, 8im8ing,
flattering, s%borning, fors,earing, forging, gaming, lying,
fa,ning, hectoring, voting, scribbling, starFgaEing, 8oisoning,
,horing, canting, libelling, freethin&ing, and the li&e
occ%8ationsA> every one of ,hich terms 1 ,as at m%ch 8ains to ma&e
him %nderstand$
>That ,ine ,as not im8orted among %s from foreign co%ntries to
s%88ly the ,ant of ,ater or other drin&s, b%t beca%se it ,as a sort
of li9%id ,hich made %s merry by 8%tting %s o%t of o%r senses,
diverted all melancholy tho%ghts, begat ,ild extravagant
imaginations in the brain, raised o%r ho8es and banished o%r fears,
s%s8ended every office of reason for a time, and de8rived %s of the
%se of o%r limbs, till ,e fell into a 8rofo%nd slee87 altho%gh it
m%st be confessed, that ,e al,ays a,a&ed sic& and dis8irited7 and
that the %se of this li9%or filled %s ,ith diseases ,hich made o%r
lives %ncomfortable and short$
>B%t beside all this, the b%l& of o%r 8eo8le s%88orted themselves
by f%rnishing the necessities or conveniences of life to the rich
and to each other$ <or instance, ,hen 1 am at home, and dressed as
1 o%ght to be, 1 carry on my body the ,or&manshi8 of a h%ndred
tradesmen7 the b%ilding and f%rnit%re of my ho%se em8loy as many
more, and five times the n%mber to adorn my ,ife$>
1 ,as going on to tell him of another sort of 8eo8le, ,ho get their
livelihood by attending the sic&, having, %8on some occasions,
informed his hono%r that many of my cre, had died of diseases$ B%t
here it ,as ,ith the %tmost diffic%lty that 1 bro%ght him to
a88rehend ,hat 1 meant$ >-e co%ld easily conceive, that a
-o%yhnhnm, gre, ,ea& and heavy a fe, days before his death, or by
some accident might h%rt a limb7 b%t that nat%re, ,ho ,or&s all
things to 8erfection, sho%ld s%ffer any 8ains to breed in o%r
bodies, he tho%ght im8ossible, and desired to &no, the reason of so
%nacco%ntable an evil$>
1 told him >,e fed on a tho%sand things ,hich o8erated contrary to
each other7 that ,e ate ,hen ,e ,ere not h%ngry, and dran& ,itho%t
the 8rovocation of thirst7 that ,e sat ,hole nights drin&ing strong
li9%ors, ,itho%t eating a bit, ,hich dis8osed %s to sloth, inflamed
o%r bodies, and 8reci8itated or 8revented digestion7 that
8rostit%te female ;ahoos ac9%ired a certain malady, ,hich bred
rottenness in the bones of those ,ho fell into their embraces7 that
this, and many other diseases, ,ere 8ro8agated from father to son7
so that great n%mbers came into the ,orld ,ith com8licated maladies
%8on them7 that it ,o%ld be endless to give him a catalog%e of all
diseases incident to h%man bodies, for they ,o%ld not be fe,er than
five or six h%ndred, s8read over every limb and ?ointFFin short,
every 8art, external and intestine, having diseases a88ro8riated to
itself$ To remedy ,hich, there ,as a sort of 8eo8le bred %8 among
%s in the 8rofession, or 8retence, of c%ring the sic&$ 3nd beca%se
1 had some s&ill in the fac%lty, 1 ,o%ld, in gratit%de to his
hono%r, let him &no, the ,hole mystery and method by ,hich they
>Their f%ndamental is, that all diseases arise from re8letion7
,hence they concl%de, that a great evac%ation of the body is
necessary, either thro%gh the nat%ral 8assage or %8,ards at the
mo%th$ Their next b%siness is from herbs, minerals, g%ms, oils,
shells, salts, ?%ices, seaF,eed, excrements, bar&s of trees,
ser8ents, toads, frogs, s8iders, dead men's flesh and bones, birds,
beasts, and fishes, to form a com8osition, for smell and taste, the
most abominable, na%seo%s, and detestable, they can 8ossibly
contrive, ,hich the stomach immediately re?ects ,ith loathing, and
this they call a vomit7 or else, from the same storeFho%se, ,ith
some other 8oisono%s additions, they command %s to ta&e in at the
orifice above or belo, B?%st as the 8hysician then ha88ens to be
dis8osedC a medicine e9%ally annoying and disg%stf%l to the bo,els7
,hich, relaxing the belly, drives do,n all before it7 and this they
call a 8%rge, or a clyster$ <or nat%re Bas the 8hysicians allegeC
having intended the s%8erior anterior orifice only for the
intromission of solids and li9%ids, and the inferior 8osterior for
e?ection, these artists ingenio%sly considering that in all
diseases nat%re is forced o%t of her seat, therefore, to re8lace
her in it, the body m%st be treated in a manner directly contrary,
by interchanging the %se of each orifice7 forcing solids and
li9%ids in at the an%s, and ma&ing evac%ations at the mo%th$
>B%t, besides real diseases, ,e are s%b?ect to many that are only
imaginary, for ,hich the 8hysicians have invented imaginary c%res7
these have their several names, and so have the dr%gs that are
8ro8er for them7 and ,ith these o%r female ;ahoos are al,ays
>2ne great excellency in this tribe, is their s&ill at 8rognostics,
,herein they seldom fail7 their 8redictions in real diseases, ,hen
they rise to any degree of malignity, generally 8ortending death,
,hich is al,ays in their 8o,er, ,hen recovery is notA and
therefore, %8on any %nex8ected signs of amendment, after they have
8rono%nced their sentence, rather than be acc%sed as false
8ro8hets, they &no, ho, to a88rove their sagacity to the ,orld, by
a seasonable dose$
>They are li&e,ise of s8ecial %se to h%sbands and ,ives ,ho are
gro,n ,eary of their mates7 to eldest sons, to great ministers of
state, and often to 8rinces$>
1 had formerly, %8on occasion, disco%rsed ,ith my master %8on the
nat%re of government in general, and 8artic%larly of o%r o,n
excellent constit%tion, deservedly the ,onder and envy of the ,hole
,orld$ B%t having here accidentally mentioned a minister of state,
he commanded me, some time after, to inform him, >,hat s8ecies of
;ahoo 1 8artic%larly meant by that a88ellation$>
1 told him, >that a first or chief minister of state, ,ho ,as the
8erson 1 intended to describe, ,as the creat%re ,holly exem8t from
?oy and grief, love and hatred, 8ity and anger7 at least, ma&es %se
of no other 8assions, b%t a violent desire of ,ealth, 8o,er, and
titles7 that he a88lies his ,ords to all %ses, exce8t to the
indication of his mind7 that he never tells a tr%th b%t ,ith an
intent that yo% sho%ld ta&e it for a lie7 nor a lie, b%t ,ith a
design that yo% sho%ld ta&e it for a tr%th7 that those he s8ea&s
,orst of behind their bac&s are in the s%rest ,ay of 8referment7
and ,henever he begins to 8raise yo% to others, or to yo%rself, yo%
are from that day forlorn$ The ,orst mar& yo% can receive is a
8romise, es8ecially ,hen it is confirmed ,ith an oath7 after ,hich,
every ,ise man retires, and gives over all ho8es$
>There are three methods, by ,hich a man may rise to be chief
minister$ The first is, by &no,ing ho,, ,ith 8r%dence, to dis8ose
of a ,ife, a da%ghter, or a sister7 the second, by betraying or
%ndermining his 8redecessor7 and the third is, by a f%rio%s Eeal,
in 8%blic assemblies, against the corr%8tion's of the co%rt$ B%t a
,ise 8rince ,o%ld rather choose to em8loy those ,ho 8ractise the
last of these methods7 beca%se s%ch Eealots 8rove al,ays the most
obse9%io%s and s%bservient to the ,ill and 8assions of their
master$ That these ministers, having all em8loyments at their
dis8osal, 8reserve themselves in 8o,er, by bribing the ma?ority of
a senate or great co%ncil7 and at last, by an ex8edient, called an
act of indemnity> B,hereof 1 described the nat%re to himC, >they
sec%re themselves from afterFrec&onings, and retire from the 8%blic
laden ,ith the s8oils of the nation$
>The 8alace of a chief minister is a seminary to breed %8 others in
his o,n tradeA the 8ages, lac&eys, and 8orters, by imitating their
master, become ministers of state in their several districts, and
learn to excel in the three 8rinci8al ingredients, of insolence,
lying, and bribery$ 3ccordingly, they have a s%baltern co%rt 8aid
to them by 8ersons of the best ran&7 and sometimes by the force of
dexterity and im8%dence, arrive, thro%gh several gradations, to be
s%ccessors to their lord$
>-e is %s%ally governed by a decayed ,ench, or favo%rite footman,
,ho are the t%nnels thro%gh ,hich all graces are conveyed, and may
8ro8erly be called, in the last resort, the governors of the
2ne day, in disco%rse, my master, having heard me mention the
nobility of my co%ntry, ,as 8leased to ma&e me a com8liment ,hich 1
co%ld not 8retend to deserveA >that he ,as s%re 1 m%st have been
born of some noble family, beca%se 1 far exceeded in sha8e, colo%r,
and cleanliness, all the ;ahoos of his nation, altho%gh 1 seemed to
fail in strength and agility, ,hich m%st be im8%ted to my different
,ay of living from those other br%tes7 and besides 1 ,as not only
endo,ed ,ith the fac%lty of s8eech, b%t li&e,ise ,ith some
r%diments of reason, to a degree that, ,ith all his ac9%aintance, 1
8assed for a 8rodigy$>
-e made me observe, >that among the -o%yhnhnms, the ,hite, the
sorrel, and the ironFgray, ,ere not so exactly sha8ed as the bay,
the da88leFgray, and the blac&7 nor born ,ith e9%al talents of
mind, or a ca8acity to im8rove them7 and therefore contin%ed al,ays
in the condition of servants, ,itho%t ever as8iring to match o%t of
their o,n race, ,hich in that co%ntry ,o%ld be rec&oned monstro%s
and %nnat%ral$>
1 made his hono%r my most h%mble ac&no,ledgments for the good
o8inion he ,as 8leased to conceive of me, b%t ass%red him at the
same time, >that my birth ,as of the lo,er sort, having been born
of 8lain honest 8arents, ,ho ,ere ?%st able to give me a tolerable
ed%cation7 that nobility, among %s, ,as altogether a different
thing from the idea he had of it7 that o%r yo%ng noblemen are bred
from their childhood in idleness and l%x%ry7 that, as soon as years
,ill 8ermit, they cons%me their vigo%r, and contract odio%s
diseases among le,d females7 and ,hen their fort%nes are almost
r%ined, they marry some ,oman of mean birth, disagreeable 8erson,
and %nso%nd constit%tion Bmerely for the sa&e of moneyC, ,hom they
hate and des8ise$ That the 8rod%ctions of s%ch marriages are
generally scrof%lo%s, ric&ety, or deformed children7 by ,hich means
the family seldom contin%es above three generations, %nless the
,ife ta&es care to 8rovide a healthy father, among her neighbo%rs
or domestics, in order to im8rove and contin%e the breed$ That a
,ea& diseased body, a meagre co%ntenance, and sallo, com8lexion,
are the tr%e mar&s of noble blood7 and a healthy rob%st a88earance
is so disgracef%l in a man of 9%ality, that the ,orld concl%des his
real father to have been a groom or a coachman$ The im8erfections
of his mind r%n 8arallel ,ith those of his body, being a
com8osition of s8leen, d%llness, ignorance, ca8rice, sens%ality,
and 8ride$
>*itho%t the consent of this ill%strio%s body, no la, can be
enacted, re8ealed, or alteredA and these nobles have li&e,ise the
decision of all o%r 8ossessions, ,itho%t a88eal$> JGK
:-3PT.( =11$
4The a%thor's great love of his native co%ntry$ -is master's
observations %8on the constit%tion and administration of .ngland,
as described by the a%thor, ,ith 8arallel cases and com8arisons$
-is master's observations %8on h%man nat%re$5
The reader may be dis8osed to ,onder ho, 1 co%ld 8revail on myself
to give so free a re8resentation of my o,n s8ecies, among a race of
mortals ,ho are already too a8t to conceive the vilest o8inion of
h%man&ind, from that entire congr%ity bet,een me and their ;ahoos$
B%t 1 m%st freely confess, that the many virt%es of those excellent
9%adr%8eds, 8laced in o88osite vie, to h%man corr%8tions, had so
far o8ened my eyes and enlarged my %nderstanding, that 1 began to
vie, the actions and 8assions of man in a very different light, and
to thin& the hono%r of my o,n &ind not ,orth managing7 ,hich,
besides, it ,as im8ossible for me to do, before a 8erson of so
ac%te a ?%dgment as my master, ,ho daily convinced me of a tho%sand
fa%lts in myself, ,hereof 1 had not the least 8erce8tion before,
and ,hich, ,ith %s, ,o%ld never be n%mbered even among h%man
infirmities$ 1 had li&e,ise learned, from his exam8le, an %tter
detestation of all falsehood or disg%ise7 and tr%th a88eared so
amiable to me, that 1 determined %8on sacrificing every thing to
0et me deal so candidly ,ith the reader as to confess that there
,as yet a m%ch stronger motive for the freedom 1 too& in my
re8resentation of things$ 1 had not yet been a year in this
co%ntry before 1 contracted s%ch a love and veneration for the
inhabitants, that 1 entered on a firm resol%tion never to ret%rn to
h%man&ind, b%t to 8ass the rest of my life among these admirable
-o%yhnhnms, in the contem8lation and 8ractice of every virt%e,
,here 1 co%ld have no exam8le or incitement to vice$ B%t it ,as
decreed by fort%ne, my 8er8et%al enemy, that so great a felicity
sho%ld not fall to my share$ -o,ever, it is no, some comfort to
reflect, that in ,hat 1 said of my co%ntrymen, 1 exten%ated their
fa%lts as m%ch as 1 d%rst before so strict an examiner7 and %8on
every article gave as favo%rable a t%rn as the matter ,o%ld bear$
<or, indeed, ,ho is there alive that ,ill not be s,ayed by his bias
and 8artiality to the 8lace of his birthD
1 have related the s%bstance of several conversations 1 had ,ith my
master d%ring the greatest 8art of the time 1 had the hono%r to be
in his service7 b%t have, indeed, for brevity sa&e, omitted m%ch
more than is here set do,n$
*hen 1 had ans,ered all his 9%estions, and his c%riosity seemed to
be f%lly satisfied, he sent for me one morning early, and commanded
me to sit do,n at some distance Ban hono%r ,hich he had never
before conferred %8on meC$ -e said, >he had been very serio%sly
considering my ,hole story, as far as it related both to myself and
my co%ntry7 that he loo&ed %8on %s as a sort of animals, to ,hose
share, by ,hat accident he co%ld not con?ect%re, some small
8ittance of reason had fallen, ,hereof ,e made no other %se, than
by its assistance, to aggravate o%r nat%ral corr%8tions, and to
ac9%ire ne, ones, ,hich nat%re had not given %s7 that ,e disarmed
o%rselves of the fe, abilities she had besto,ed7 had been very
s%ccessf%l in m%lti8lying o%r original ,ants, and seemed to s8end
o%r ,hole lives in vain endeavo%rs to s%88ly them by o%r o,n
inventions7 that, as to myself, it ,as manifest 1 had neither the
strength nor agility of a common ;ahoo7 that 1 ,al&ed infirmly on
my hinder feet7 had fo%nd o%t a contrivance to ma&e my cla,s of no
%se or defence, and to remove the hair from my chin, ,hich ,as
intended as a shelter from the s%n and the ,eatherA lastly, that 1
co%ld neither r%n ,ith s8eed, nor climb trees li&e my brethren,> as
he called them, >the ;ahoos in his co%ntry$
>That o%r instit%tions of government and la, ,ere 8lainly o,ing to
o%r gross defects in reason, and by conse9%ence in virt%e7 beca%se
reason alone is s%fficient to govern a rational creat%re7 ,hich
,as, therefore, a character ,e had no 8retence to challenge, even
from the acco%nt 1 had given of my o,n 8eo8le7 altho%gh he
manifestly 8erceived, that, in order to favo%r them, 1 had
concealed many 8artic%lars, and often said the thing ,hich ,as not$
>-e ,as the more confirmed in this o8inion, beca%se, he observed,
that as 1 agreed in every feat%re of my body ,ith other ;ahoos,
exce8t ,here it ,as to my real disadvantage in 8oint of strength,
s8eed, and activity, the shortness of my cla,s, and some other
8artic%lars ,here nat%re had no 8art7 so from the re8resentation 1
had given him of o%r lives, o%r manners, and o%r actions, he fo%nd
as near a resemblance in the dis8osition of o%r minds$> -e said,
>the ;ahoos ,ere &no,n to hate one another, more than they did any
different s8ecies of animals7 and the reason %s%ally assigned ,as,
the odio%sness of their o,n sha8es, ,hich all co%ld see in the
rest, b%t not in themselves$ -e had therefore beg%n to thin& it
not %n,ise in %s to cover o%r bodies, and by that invention conceal
many of o%r deformities from each other, ,hich ,o%ld else be hardly
s%88ortable$ B%t he no, fo%nd he had been mista&en, and that the
dissensions of those br%tes in his co%ntry ,ere o,ing to the same
ca%se ,ith o%rs, as 1 had described them$ <or if,> said he, >yo%
thro, among five ;ahoos as m%ch food as ,o%ld be s%fficient for
fifty, they ,ill, instead of eating 8eaceably, fall together by the
ears, each single one im8atient to have all to itself7 and
therefore a servant ,as %s%ally em8loyed to stand by ,hile they
,ere feeding abroad, and those &e8t at home ,ere tied at a distance
from each otherA that if a co, died of age or accident, before a
-o%yhnhnm co%ld sec%re it for his o,n ;ahoos, those in the
neighbo%rhood ,o%ld come in herds to seiEe it, and then ,o%ld ens%e
s%ch a battle as 1 had described, ,ith terrible ,o%nds made by
their cla,s on both sides, altho%gh they seldom ,ere able to &ill
one another, for ,ant of s%ch convenient instr%ments of death as ,e
had invented$ 3t other times, the li&e battles have been fo%ght
bet,een the ;ahoos of several neighbo%rhoods, ,itho%t any visible
ca%se7 those of one district ,atching all o88ort%nities to s%r8rise
the next, before they are 8re8ared$ B%t if they find their 8ro?ect
has miscarried, they ret%rn home, and, for ,ant of enemies, engage
in ,hat 1 call a civil ,ar among themselves$
>That in some fields of his co%ntry there are certain shining
stones of several colo%rs, ,hereof the ;ahoos are violently fondA
and ,hen 8art of these stones is fixed in the earth, as it
sometimes ha88ens, they ,ill dig ,ith their cla,s for ,hole days to
get them o%t7 then carry them a,ay, and hide them by hea8s in their
&ennels7 b%t still loo&ing ro%nd ,ith great ca%tion, for fear their
comrades sho%ld find o%t their treas%re$> 6y master said, >he
co%ld never discover the reason of this %nnat%ral a88etite, or ho,
these stones co%ld be of any %se to a ;ahoo7 b%t no, he believed it
might 8roceed from the same 8rinci8le of avarice ,hich 1 had
ascribed to man&ind$ That he had once, by ,ay of ex8eriment,
8rivately removed a hea8 of these stones from the 8lace ,here one
of his ;ahoos had b%ried it7 ,here%8on the sordid animal, missing
his treas%re, by his lo%d lamenting bro%ght the ,hole herd to the
8lace, there miserably ho,led, then fell to biting and tearing the
rest, began to 8ine a,ay, ,o%ld neither eat, nor slee8, nor ,or&,
till he ordered a servant 8rivately to convey the stones into the
same hole, and hide them as before7 ,hich, ,hen his ;ahoo had
fo%nd, he 8resently recovered his s8irits and good h%mo%r, b%t too&
good care to remove them to a better hiding 8lace, and has ever
since been a very serviceable br%te$>
6y master f%rther ass%red me, ,hich 1 also observed myself, >that
in the fields ,here the shining stones abo%nd, the fiercest and
most fre9%ent battles are fo%ght, occasioned by 8er8et%al inroads
of the neighbo%ring ;ahoos$>
-e said, >it ,as common, ,hen t,o ;ahoos discovered s%ch a stone in
a field, and ,ere contending ,hich of them sho%ld be the
8ro8rietor, a third ,o%ld ta&e the advantage, and carry it a,ay
from them both7> ,hich my master ,o%ld needs contend to have some
&ind of resemblance ,ith o%r s%its at la,7 ,herein 1 tho%ght it for
o%r credit not to %ndeceive him7 since the decision he mentioned
,as m%ch more e9%itable than many decrees among %s7 beca%se the
8laintiff and defendant there lost nothing beside the stone they
contended forA ,hereas o%r co%rts of e9%ity ,o%ld never have
dismissed the ca%se, ,hile either of them had any thing left$
6y master, contin%ing his disco%rse, said, >there ,as nothing that
rendered the ;ahoos more odio%s, than their %ndisting%ishing
a88etite to devo%r every thing that came in their ,ay, ,hether
herbs, roots, berries, the corr%8ted flesh of animals, or all
mingled togetherA and it ,as 8ec%liar in their tem8er, that they
,ere fonder of ,hat they co%ld get by ra8ine or stealth, at a
greater distance, than m%ch better food 8rovided for them at home$
1f their 8rey held o%t, they ,o%ld eat till they ,ere ready to
b%rst7 after ,hich, nat%re had 8ointed o%t to them a certain root
that gave them a general evac%ation$
>There ,as also another &ind of root, very ?%icy, b%t some,hat rare
and diffic%lt to be fo%nd, ,hich the ;ahoos so%ght for ,ith m%ch
eagerness, and ,o%ld s%c& it ,ith great delight7 it 8rod%ced in
them the same effects that ,ine has %8on %s$ 1t ,o%ld ma&e them
sometimes h%g, and sometimes tear one another7 they ,o%ld ho,l, and
grin, and chatter, and reel, and t%mble, and then fall aslee8 in
the m%d$>
1 did indeed observe that the ;ahoos ,ere the only animals in this
co%ntry s%b?ect to any diseases7 ,hich, ho,ever, ,ere m%ch fe,er
than horses have among %s, and contracted, not by any illFtreatment
they meet ,ith, b%t by the nastiness and greediness of that sordid
br%te$ )either has their lang%age any more than a general
a88ellation for those maladies, ,hich is borro,ed from the name of
the beast, and called hneaFyahoo, or ;ahoo's evil7 and the c%re
8rescribed is a mixt%re of their o,n d%ng and %rine, forcibly 8%t
do,n the ;ahoo's throat$ This 1 have since often &no,n to have
been ta&en ,ith s%ccess, and do here freely recommend it to my
co%ntrymen for the 8%blic good, as an admirable s8ecific against
all diseases 8rod%ced by re8letion$
>3s to learning, government, arts, man%fact%res, and the li&e,> my
master confessed, >he co%ld find little or no resemblance bet,een
the ;ahoos of that co%ntry and those in o%rs7 for he only meant to
observe ,hat 8arity there ,as in o%r nat%res$ -e had heard,
indeed, some c%rio%s -o%yhnhnms observe, that in most herds there
,as a sort of r%ling ;ahoo Bas among %s there is generally some
leading or 8rinci8al stag in a 8ar&C, ,ho ,as al,ays more deformed
in body, and mischievo%s in dis8osition, than any of the rest7 that
this leader had %s%ally a favo%rite as li&e himself as he co%ld
get, ,hose em8loyment ,as to lic& his master's feet and 8osteriors,
and drive the female ;ahoos to his &ennel7 for ,hich he ,as no, and
then re,arded ,ith a 8iece of ass's flesh$ This favo%rite is hated
by the ,hole herd, and therefore, to 8rotect himself, &ee8s al,ays
near the 8erson of his leader$ -e %s%ally contin%es in office till
a ,orse can be fo%nd7 b%t the very moment he is discarded, his
s%ccessor, at the head of all the ;ahoos in that district, yo%ng
and old, male and female, come in a body, and discharge their
excrements %8on him from head to foot$ B%t ho, far this might be
a88licable to o%r co%rts, and favo%rites, and ministers of state,
my master said 1 co%ld best determine$>
1 d%rst ma&e no ret%rn to this malicio%s insin%ation, ,hich debased
h%man %nderstanding belo, the sagacity of a common ho%nd, ,ho has
?%dgment eno%gh to disting%ish and follo, the cry of the ablest dog
in the 8ac&, ,itho%t being ever mista&en$
6y master told me, >there ,ere some 9%alities remar&able in the
;ahoos, ,hich he had not observed me to mention, or at least very
slightly, in the acco%nts 1 had given of h%man&ind$> -e said,
>those animals, li&e other br%tes, had their females in common7 b%t
in this they differed, that the she ;ahoo ,o%ld admit the males
,hile she ,as 8regnant7 and that the hes ,o%ld 9%arrel and fight
,ith the females, as fiercely as ,ith each other7 both ,hich
8ractices ,ere s%ch degrees of infamo%s br%tality, as no other
sensitive creat%re ever arrived at$
>3nother thing he ,ondered at in the ;ahoos, ,as their strange
dis8osition to nastiness and dirt7 ,hereas there a88ears to be a
nat%ral love of cleanliness in all other animals$> 3s to the t,o
former acc%sations, 1 ,as glad to let them 8ass ,itho%t any re8ly,
beca%se 1 had not a ,ord to offer %8on them in defence of my
s8ecies, ,hich other,ise 1 certainly had done from my o,n
inclinations$ B%t 1 co%ld have easily vindicated h%man&ind from
the im8%tation of sing%larity %8on the last article, if there had
been any s,ine in that co%ntry Bas %nl%c&ily for me there ,ere
notC, ,hich, altho%gh it may be a s,eeter 9%adr%8ed than a ;ahoo,
cannot, 1 h%mbly conceive, in ?%stice, 8retend to more cleanliness7
and so his hono%r himself m%st have o,ned, if he had seen their
filthy ,ay of feeding, and their c%stom of ,allo,ing and slee8ing
in the m%d$
6y master li&e,ise mentioned another 9%ality ,hich his servants had
discovered in several ;ahoos, and to him ,as ,holly %nacco%ntable$
-e said, >a fancy ,o%ld sometimes ta&e a ;ahoo to retire into a
corner, to lie do,n, and ho,l, and groan, and s8%rn a,ay all that
came near him, altho%gh he ,ere yo%ng and fat, ,anted neither food
nor ,ater, nor did the servant imagine ,hat co%ld 8ossibly ail him$
3nd the only remedy they fo%nd ,as, to set him to hard ,or&, after
,hich he ,o%ld infallibly come to himself$> To this 1 ,as silent
o%t of 8artiality to my o,n &ind7 yet here 1 co%ld 8lainly discover
the tr%e seeds of s8leen, ,hich only seiEes on the laEy, the
l%x%rio%s, and the rich7 ,ho, if they ,ere forced to %ndergo the
same regimen, 1 ,o%ld %nderta&e for the c%re$
-is hono%r had f%rther observed, >that a female ;ahoo ,o%ld often
stand behind a ban& or a b%sh, to gaEe on the yo%ng males 8assing
by, and then a88ear, and hide, %sing many antic gest%res and
grimaces, at ,hich time it ,as observed that she had a most
offensive smell7 and ,hen any of the males advanced, ,o%ld slo,ly
retire, loo&ing often bac&, and ,ith a co%nterfeit sho, of fear,
r%n off into some convenient 8lace, ,here she &ne, the male ,o%ld
follo, her$
>3t other times, if a female stranger came among them, three or
fo%r of her o,n sex ,o%ld get abo%t her, and stare, and chatter,
and grin, and smell her all over7 and then t%rn off ,ith gest%res,
that seemed to ex8ress contem8t and disdain$>
Perha8s my master might refine a little in these s8ec%lations,
,hich he had dra,n from ,hat he observed himself, or had been told
him by others7 ho,ever, 1 co%ld not reflect ,itho%t some amaEement,
and m%ch sorro,, that the r%diments of le,dness, co9%etry, cens%re,
and scandal, sho%ld have 8lace by instinct in ,oman&ind$
1 ex8ected every moment that my master ,o%ld acc%se the ;ahoos of
those %nnat%ral a88etites in both sexes, so common among %s$ B%t
nat%re, it seems, has not been so ex8ert a schoolFmistress7 and
these 8oliter 8leas%res are entirely the 8rod%ctions of art and
reason on o%r side of the globe$
:-3PT.( =111$
4The a%thor relates several 8artic%lars of the ;ahoos$ The great
virt%es of the -o%yhnhnms$ The ed%cation and exercise of their
yo%th$ Their general assembly$5
3s 1 o%ght to have %nderstood h%man nat%re m%ch better than 1
s%88osed it 8ossible for my master to do, so it ,as easy to a88ly
the character he gave of the ;ahoos to myself and my co%ntrymen7
and 1 believed 1 co%ld yet ma&e f%rther discoveries, from my o,n
observation$ 1 therefore often begged his hono%r to let me go
among the herds of ;ahoos in the neighbo%rhood7 to ,hich he al,ays
very gracio%sly consented, being 8erfectly convinced that the
hatred 1 bore these br%tes ,o%ld never s%ffer me to be corr%8ted by
them7 and his hono%r ordered one of his servants, a strong sorrel
nag, very honest and goodFnat%red, to be my g%ard7 ,itho%t ,hose
8rotection 1 d%rst not %nderta&e s%ch advent%res$ <or 1 have
already told the reader ho, m%ch 1 ,as 8estered by these odio%s
animals, %8on my first arrival7 and 1 after,ards failed very
narro,ly, three or fo%r times, of falling into their cl%tches, ,hen
1 ha88ened to stray at any distance ,itho%t my hanger$ 3nd 1 have
reason to believe they had some imagination that 1 ,as of their o,n
s8ecies, ,hich 1 often assisted myself by stri88ing %8 my sleeves,
and sho,ing my na&ed arms and breasts in their sight, ,hen my
8rotector ,as ,ith me$ 3t ,hich times they ,o%ld a88roach as near
as they d%rst, and imitate my actions after the manner of mon&eys,
b%t ever ,ith great signs of hatred7 as a tame ?ac&da, ,ith ca8 and
stoc&ings is al,ays 8ersec%ted by the ,ild ones, ,hen he ha88ens to
be got among them$
They are 8rodigio%sly nimble from their infancy$ -o,ever, 1 once
ca%ght a yo%ng male of three years old, and endeavo%red, by all
mar&s of tenderness, to ma&e it 9%iet7 b%t the little im8 fell a
s9%alling, and scratching, and biting ,ith s%ch violence, that 1
,as forced to let it go7 and it ,as high time, for a ,hole troo8 of
old ones came abo%t %s at the noise, b%t finding the c%b ,as safe
Bfor a,ay it ranC, and my sorrel nag being by, they d%rst not
vent%re near %s$ 1 observed the yo%ng animal's flesh to smell very
ran&, and the stin& ,as some,hat bet,een a ,easel and a fox, b%t
m%ch more disagreeable$ 1 forgot another circ%mstance Band 8erha8s
1 might have the reader's 8ardon if it ,ere ,holly omittedC, that
,hile 1 held the odio%s vermin in my hands, it voided its filthy
excrements of a yello, li9%id s%bstance all over my clothes7 b%t by
good fort%ne there ,as a small broo& hard by, ,here 1 ,ashed myself
as clean as 1 co%ld7 altho%gh 1 d%rst not come into my master's
8resence %ntil 1 ,ere s%fficiently aired$
By ,hat 1 co%ld discover, the ;ahoos a88ear to be the most
%nteachable of all animalsA their ca8acity never reaching higher
than to dra, or carry b%rdens$ ;et 1 am of o8inion, this defect
arises chiefly from a 8erverse, restive dis8osition7 for they are
c%nning, malicio%s, treachero%s, and revengef%l$ They are strong
and hardy, b%t of a co,ardly s8irit, and, by conse9%ence, insolent,
ab?ect, and cr%el$ 1t is observed, that the red haired of both
sexes are more libidino%s and mischievo%s than the rest, ,hom yet
they m%ch exceed in strength and activity$
The -o%yhnhnms &ee8 the ;ahoos for 8resent %se in h%ts not far from
the ho%se7 b%t the rest are sent abroad to certain fields, ,here
they dig %8 roots, eat several &inds of herbs, and search abo%t for
carrion, or sometimes catch ,easels and l%him%hs Ba sort of ,ild
ratC, ,hich they greedily devo%r$ )at%re has ta%ght them to dig
dee8 holes ,ith their nails on the side of a rising gro%nd, ,herein
they lie by themselves7 only the &ennels of the females are larger,
s%fficient to hold t,o or three c%bs$
They s,im from their infancy li&e frogs, and are able to contin%e
long %nder ,ater, ,here they often ta&e fish, ,hich the females
carry home to their yo%ng$ 3nd, %8on this occasion, 1 ho8e the
reader ,ill 8ardon my relating an odd advent%re$
Being one day abroad ,ith my 8rotector the sorrel nag, and the
,eather exceeding hot, 1 entreated him to let me bathe in a river
that ,as near$ -e consented, and 1 immediately stri88ed myself
star& na&ed, and ,ent do,n softly into the stream$ 1t ha88ened
that a yo%ng female ;ahoo, standing behind a ban&, sa, the ,hole
8roceeding, and inflamed by desire, as the nag and 1 con?ect%red,
came r%nning ,ith all s8eed, and lea8ed into the ,ater, ,ithin five
yards of the 8lace ,here 1 bathed$ 1 ,as never in my life so
terribly frightened$ The nag ,as graEing at some distance, not
s%s8ecting any harm$ She embraced me after a most f%lsome manner$
1 roared as lo%d as 1 co%ld, and the nag came gallo8ing to,ards me,
,here%8on she 9%itted her gras8, ,ith the %tmost rel%ctancy, and
lea8ed %8on the o88osite ban&, ,here she stood gaEing and ho,ling
all the time 1 ,as 8%tting on my clothes$
This ,as a matter of diversion to my master and his family, as ,ell
as of mortification to myself$ <or no, 1 co%ld no longer deny that
1 ,as a real ;ahoo in every limb and feat%re, since the females had
a nat%ral 8ro8ensity to me, as one of their o,n s8ecies$ )either
,as the hair of this br%te of a red colo%r B,hich might have been
some exc%se for an a88etite a little irreg%larC, b%t blac& as a
sloe, and her co%ntenance did not ma&e an a88earance altogether so
hideo%s as the rest of her &ind7 for 1 thin& she co%ld not be above
eleven years old$
-aving lived three years in this co%ntry, the reader, 1 s%88ose,
,ill ex8ect that 1 sho%ld, li&e other travellers, give him some
acco%nt of the manners and c%stoms of its inhabitants, ,hich it ,as
indeed my 8rinci8al st%dy to learn$
3s these noble -o%yhnhnms are endo,ed by nat%re ,ith a general
dis8osition to all virt%es, and have no conce8tions or ideas of
,hat is evil in a rational creat%re, so their grand maxim is, to
c%ltivate reason, and to be ,holly governed by it$ )either is
reason among them a 8oint 8roblematical, as ,ith %s, ,here men can
arg%e ,ith 8la%sibility on both sides of the 9%estion, b%t stri&es
yo% ,ith immediate conviction7 as it m%st needs do, ,here it is not
mingled, obsc%red, or discolo%red, by 8assion and interest$ 1
remember it ,as ,ith extreme diffic%lty that 1 co%ld bring my
master to %nderstand the meaning of the ,ord o8inion, or ho, a
8oint co%ld be dis8%table7 beca%se reason ta%ght %s to affirm or
deny only ,here ,e are certain7 and beyond o%r &no,ledge ,e cannot
do either$ So that controversies, ,ranglings, dis8%tes, and
8ositiveness, in false or d%bio%s 8ro8ositions, are evils %n&no,n
among the -o%yhnhnms$ 1n the li&e manner, ,hen 1 %sed to ex8lain
to him o%r several systems of nat%ral 8hiloso8hy, he ,o%ld la%gh,
>that a creat%re 8retending to reason, sho%ld val%e itself %8on the
&no,ledge of other 8eo8le's con?ect%res, and in things ,here that
&no,ledge, if it ,ere certain, co%ld be of no %se$> *herein he
agreed entirely ,ith the sentiments of Socrates, as Plato delivers
them7 ,hich 1 mention as the highest hono%r 1 can do that 8rince of
8hiloso8hers$ 1 have often since reflected, ,hat destr%ction s%ch
doctrine ,o%ld ma&e in the libraries of .%ro8e7 and ho, many 8aths
of fame ,o%ld be then sh%t %8 in the learned ,orld$
<riendshi8 and benevolence are the t,o 8rinci8al virt%es among the
-o%yhnhnms7 and these not confined to 8artic%lar ob?ects, b%t
%niversal to the ,hole race7 for a stranger from the remotest 8art
is e9%ally treated ,ith the nearest neighbo%r, and ,herever he
goes, loo&s %8on himself as at home$ They 8reserve decency and
civility in the highest degrees, b%t are altogether ignorant of
ceremony$ They have no fondness for their colts or foals, b%t the
care they ta&e in ed%cating them 8roceeds entirely from the
dictates of reason$ 3nd 1 observed my master to sho, the same
affection to his neighbo%r's iss%e, that he had for his o,n$ They
,ill have it that nat%re teaches them to love the ,hole s8ecies,
and it is reason only that ma&es a distinction of 8ersons, ,here
there is a s%8erior degree of virt%e$
*hen the matron -o%yhnhnms have 8rod%ced one of each sex, they no
longer accom8any ,ith their consorts, exce8t they lose one of their
iss%e by some cas%alty, ,hich very seldom ha88ens7 b%t in s%ch a
case they meet again7 or ,hen the li&e accident befalls a 8erson
,hose ,ife is 8ast bearing, some other co%8le besto, on him one of
their o,n colts, and then go together again %ntil the mother is
8regnant$ This ca%tion is necessary, to 8revent the co%ntry from
being overb%rdened ,ith n%mbers$ B%t the race of inferior
-o%yhnhnms, bred %8 to be servants, is not so strictly limited %8on
this articleA these are allo,ed to 8rod%ce three of each sex, to
be domestics in the noble families$
1n their marriages, they are exactly caref%l to choose s%ch colo%rs
as ,ill not ma&e any disagreeable mixt%re in the breed$ Strength
is chiefly val%ed in the male, and comeliness in the female7 not
%8on the acco%nt of love, b%t to 8reserve the race from
degenerating7 for ,here a female ha88ens to excel in strength, a
consort is chosen, ,ith regard to comeliness$
:o%rtshi8, love, 8resents, ?oint%res, settlements have no 8lace in
their tho%ghts, or terms ,hereby to ex8ress them in their lang%age$
The yo%ng co%8le meet, and are ?oined, merely beca%se it is the
determination of their 8arents and friends7 it is ,hat they see
done every day, and they loo& %8on it as one of the necessary
actions of a reasonable being$ B%t the violation of marriage, or
any other %nchastity, ,as never heard of7 and the married 8air 8ass
their lives ,ith the same friendshi8 and m%t%al benevolence, that
they bear to all others of the same s8ecies ,ho come in their ,ay,
,itho%t ?ealo%sy, fondness, 9%arrelling, or discontent$
1n ed%cating the yo%th of both sexes, their method is admirable,
and highly deserves o%r imitation$ These are not s%ffered to taste
a grain of oats, exce8t %8on certain days, till eighteen years old7
nor mil&, b%t very rarely7 and in s%mmer they graEe t,o ho%rs in
the morning, and as many in the evening, ,hich their 8arents
li&e,ise observe7 b%t the servants are not allo,ed above half that
time, and a great 8art of their grass is bro%ght home, ,hich they
eat at the most convenient ho%rs, ,hen they can be best s8ared from
Tem8erance, ind%stry, exercise, and cleanliness, are the lessons
e9%ally en?oined to the yo%ng ones of both sexesA and my master
tho%ght it monstro%s in %s, to give the females a different &ind of
ed%cation from the males, exce8t in some articles of domestic
management7 ,hereby, as he tr%ly observed, one half of o%r natives
,ere good for nothing b%t bringing children into the ,orld7 and to
tr%st the care of o%r children to s%ch %seless animals, he said,
,as yet a greater instance of br%tality$
B%t the -o%yhnhnms train %8 their yo%th to strength, s8eed, and
hardiness, by exercising them in r%nning races %8 and do,n stee8
hills, and over hard stony gro%nds7 and ,hen they are all in a
s,eat, they are ordered to lea8 over head and ears into a 8ond or
river$ <o%r times a year the yo%th of a certain district meet to
sho, their 8roficiency in r%nning and lea8ing, and other feats of
strength and agility7 ,here the victor is re,arded ,ith a song in
his or her 8raise$ 2n this festival, the servants drive a herd of
;ahoos into the field, laden ,ith hay, and oats, and mil&, for a
re8ast to the -o%yhnhnms7 after ,hich, these br%tes are immediately
driven bac& again, for fear of being noisome to the assembly$
.very fo%rth year, at the vernal e9%inox, there is a re8resentative
co%ncil of the ,hole nation, ,hich meets in a 8lain abo%t t,enty
miles from o%r ho%se, and contin%es abo%t five or six days$ -ere
they in9%ire into the state and condition of the several districts7
,hether they abo%nd or be deficient in hay or oats, or co,s, or
;ahoos7 and ,herever there is any ,ant B,hich is b%t seldomC it is
immediately s%88lied by %nanimo%s consent and contrib%tion$ -ere
li&e,ise the reg%lation of children is settledA as for instance,
if a -o%yhnhnm has t,o males, he changes one of them ,ith another
that has t,o females7 and ,hen a child has been lost by any
cas%alty, ,here the mother is 8ast breeding, it is determined ,hat
family in the district shall breed another to s%88ly the loss$
:-3PT.( 1N$
43 grand debate at the general assembly of the -o%yhnhnms, and ho,
it ,as determined$ The learning of the -o%yhnhnms$ Their
b%ildings$ Their manner of b%rials$ The defectiveness of their
2ne of these grand assemblies ,as held in my time, abo%t three
months before my de8art%re, ,hither my master ,ent as the
re8resentative of o%r district$ 1n this co%ncil ,as res%med their
old debate, and indeed the only debate that ever ha88ened in their
co%ntry7 ,hereof my master, after his ret%rn, give me a very
8artic%lar acco%nt$
The 9%estion to be debated ,as, >,hether the ;ahoos sho%ld be
exterminated from the face of the earthD> 2ne of the members for
the affirmative offered several arg%ments of great strength and
,eight, alleging, >that as the ;ahoos ,ere the most filthy,
noisome, and deformed animals ,hich nat%re ever 8rod%ced, so they
,ere the most restive and indocible, mischievo%s and malicio%s7
they ,o%ld 8rivately s%c& the teats of the -o%yhnhnms' co,s, &ill
and devo%r their cats, tram8le do,n their oats and grass, if they
,ere not contin%ally ,atched, and commit a tho%sand other
extravagancies$> -e too& notice of a general tradition, >that
;ahoos had not been al,ays in their co%ntry7 b%t that many ages
ago, t,o of these br%tes a88eared together %8on a mo%ntain7 ,hether
8rod%ced by the heat of the s%n %8on corr%8ted m%d and slime, or
from the ooEe and froth of the sea, ,as never &no,n7 that these
;ahoos engendered, and their brood, in a short time, gre, so
n%mero%s as to overr%n and infest the ,hole nation7 that the
-o%yhnhnms, to get rid of this evil, made a general h%nting, and at
last enclosed the ,hole herd7 and destroying the elder, every
-o%yhnhnm &e8t t,o yo%ng ones in a &ennel, and bro%ght them to s%ch
a degree of tameness, as an animal, so savage by nat%re, can be
ca8able of ac9%iring, %sing them for dra%ght and carriage7 that
there seemed to be m%ch tr%th in this tradition, and that those
creat%res co%ld not be yinhniamshy Bor aborigines of the landC,
beca%se of the violent hatred the -o%yhnhnms, as ,ell as all other
animals, bore them, ,hich, altho%gh their evil dis8osition
s%fficiently deserved, co%ld never have arrived at so high a degree
if they had been aborigines, or else they ,o%ld have long since
been rooted o%t7 that the inhabitants, ta&ing a fancy to %se the
service of the ;ahoos, had, very im8r%dently, neglected to
c%ltivate the breed of asses, ,hich are a comely animal, easily
&e8t, more tame and orderly, ,itho%t any offensive smell, strong
eno%gh for labo%r, altho%gh they yield to the other in agility of
body, and if their braying be no agreeable so%nd, it is far
8referable to the horrible ho,lings of the ;ahoos$>
Several others declared their sentiments to the same 8%r8ose, ,hen
my master 8ro8osed an ex8edient to the assembly, ,hereof he had
indeed borro,ed the hint from me$ >-e a88roved of the tradition
mentioned by the hono%rable member ,ho s8o&e before, and affirmed,
that the t,o ;ahoos said to be seen first among them, had been
driven thither over the sea7 that coming to land, and being
forsa&en by their com8anions, they retired to the mo%ntains, and
degenerating by degrees, became in 8rocess of time m%ch more savage
than those of their o,n s8ecies in the co%ntry ,hence these t,o
originals came$ The reason of this assertion ,as, that he had no,
in his 8ossession a certain ,onderf%l ;ahoo Bmeaning myselfC ,hich
most of them had heard of, and many of them had seen$ -e then
related to them ho, he first fo%nd me7 that my body ,as all covered
,ith an artificial com8os%re of the s&ins and hairs of other
animals7 that 1 s8o&e in a lang%age of my o,n, and had thoro%ghly
learned theirs7 that 1 had related to him the accidents ,hich
bro%ght me thither7 that ,hen he sa, me ,itho%t my covering, 1 ,as
an exact ;ahoo in every 8art, only of a ,hiter colo%r, less hairy,
and ,ith shorter cla,s$ -e added, ho, 1 had endeavo%red to
8ers%ade him, that in my o,n and other co%ntries, the ;ahoos acted
as the governing, rational animal, and held the -o%yhnhnms in
servit%de7 that he observed in me all the 9%alities of a ;ahoo,
only a little more civiliEed by some tinct%re of reason, ,hich,
ho,ever, ,as in a degree as far inferior to the -o%yhnhnm race, as
the ;ahoos of their co%ntry ,ere to me7 that, among other things, 1
mentioned a c%stom ,e had of castrating -o%yhnhnms ,hen they ,ere
yo%ng, in order to render them tame7 that the o8eration ,as easy
and safe7 that it ,as no shame to learn ,isdom from br%tes, as
ind%stry is ta%ght by the ant, and b%ilding by the s,allo, Bfor so
1 translate the ,ord lyhannh, altho%gh it be a m%ch larger fo,lC7
that this invention might be 8ractised %8on the yo%nger ;ahoos
here, ,hich besides rendering them tractable and fitter for %se,
,o%ld in an age 8%t an end to the ,hole s8ecies, ,itho%t destroying
life7 that in the mean time the -o%yhnhnms sho%ld be exhorted to
c%ltivate the breed of asses, ,hich, as they are in all res8ects
more val%able br%tes, so they have this advantage, to be fit for
service at five years old, ,hich the others are not till t,elve$>
This ,as all my master tho%ght fit to tell me, at that time, of
,hat 8assed in the grand co%ncil$ B%t he ,as 8leased to conceal
one 8artic%lar, ,hich related 8ersonally to myself, ,hereof 1 soon
felt the %nha88y effect, as the reader ,ill &no, in its 8ro8er
8lace, and ,hence 1 date all the s%cceeding misfort%nes of my life$
The -o%yhnhnms have no letters, and conse9%ently their &no,ledge is
all traditional$ B%t there ha88ening fe, events of any moment
among a 8eo8le so ,ell %nited, nat%rally dis8osed to every virt%e,
,holly governed by reason, and c%t off from all commerce ,ith other
nations, the historical 8art is easily 8reserved ,itho%t b%rdening
their memories$ 1 have already observed that they are s%b?ect to
no diseases, and therefore can have no need of 8hysicians$
-o,ever, they have excellent medicines, com8osed of herbs, to c%re
accidental br%ises and c%ts in the 8astern or frog of the foot, by
shar8 stones, as ,ell as other maims and h%rts in the several 8arts
of the body$
They calc%late the year by the revol%tion of the s%n and moon, b%t
%se no s%bdivisions into ,ee&s$ They are ,ell eno%gh ac9%ainted
,ith the motions of those t,o l%minaries, and %nderstand the nat%re
of ecli8ses7 and this is the %tmost 8rogress of their astronomy$
1n 8oetry, they m%st be allo,ed to excel all other mortals7 ,herein
the ?%stness of their similes, and the min%teness as ,ell as
exactness of their descri8tions, are indeed inimitable$ Their
verses abo%nd very m%ch in both of these, and %s%ally contain
either some exalted notions of friendshi8 and benevolence or the
8raises of those ,ho ,ere victors in races and other bodily
exercises$ Their b%ildings, altho%gh very r%de and sim8le, are not
inconvenient, b%t ,ell contrived to defend them from all in?%ries
of and heat$ They have a &ind of tree, ,hich at forty years old
loosens in the root, and falls ,ith the first stormA it gro,s very
straight, and being 8ointed li&e sta&es ,ith a shar8 stone Bfor the
-o%yhnhnms &no, not the %se of ironC, they stic& them erect in the
gro%nd, abo%t ten inches as%nder, and then ,eave in oat stra,, or
sometimes ,attles, bet,een them$ The roof is made after the same
manner, and so are the doors$
The -o%yhnhnms %se the hollo, 8art, bet,een the 8astern and the
hoof of their foreFfoot, as ,e do o%r hands, and this ,ith greater
dexterity than 1 co%ld at first imagine$ 1 have seen a ,hite mare
of o%r family thread a needle B,hich 1 lent her on 8%r8oseC ,ith
that ?oint$ They mil& their co,s, rea8 their oats, and do all the
,or& ,hich re9%ires hands, in the same manner$ They have a &ind of
hard flints, ,hich, by grinding against other stones, they form
into instr%ments, that serve instead of ,edges, axes, and hammers$
*ith tools made of these flints, they li&e,ise c%t their hay, and
rea8 their oats, ,hich there gro, nat%rally in several fields7 the
;ahoos dra, home the sheaves in carriages, and the servants tread
them in certain covered h%ts to get o%t the grain, ,hich is &e8t in
stores$ They ma&e a r%de &ind of earthen and ,ooden vessels, and
ba&e the former in the s%n$
1f they can avoid cas%alties, they die only of old age, and are
b%ried in the obsc%rest 8laces that can be fo%nd, their friends and
relations ex8ressing neither ?oy nor grief at their de8art%re7 nor
does the dying 8erson discover the least regret that he is leaving
the ,orld, any more than if he ,ere %8on ret%rning home from a
visit to one of his neighbo%rs$ 1 remember my master having once
made an a88ointment ,ith a friend and his family to come to his
ho%se, %8on some affair of im8ortanceA on the day fixed, the
mistress and her t,o children came very late7 she made t,o exc%ses,
first for her h%sband, ,ho, as she said, ha88ened that very morning
to shn%,nh$ The ,ord is strongly ex8ressive in their lang%age, b%t
not easily rendered into .nglish7 it signifies, >to retire to his
first mother$> -er exc%se for not coming sooner, ,as, that her
h%sband dying late in the morning, she ,as a good ,hile cons%lting
her servants abo%t a convenient 8lace ,here his body sho%ld be
laid7 and 1 observed, she behaved herself at o%r ho%se as
cheerf%lly as the rest$ She died abo%t three months after$
They live generally to seventy, or seventyFfive years, very seldom
to fo%rscore$ Some ,ee&s before their death, they feel a grad%al
decay7 b%t ,itho%t 8ain$ D%ring this time they are m%ch visited by
their friends, beca%se they cannot go abroad ,ith their %s%al ease
and satisfaction$ -o,ever, abo%t ten days before their death,
,hich they seldom fail in com8%ting, they ret%rn the visits that
have been made them by those ,ho are nearest in the neighbo%rhood,
being carried in a convenient sledge dra,n by ;ahoos7 ,hich vehicle
they %se, not only %8on this occasion, b%t ,hen they gro, old, %8on
long ?o%rneys, or ,hen they are lamed by any accidentA and
therefore ,hen the dying -o%yhnhnms ret%rn those visits, they ta&e
a solemn leave of their friends, as if they ,ere going to some
remote 8art of the co%ntry, ,here they designed to 8ass the rest of
their lives$
1 &no, not ,hether it may be ,orth observing, that the -o%yhnhnms
have no ,ord in their lang%age to ex8ress any thing that is evil,
exce8t ,hat they borro, from the deformities or ill 9%alities of
the ;ahoos$ Th%s they denote the folly of a servant, an omission
of a child, a stone that c%ts their feet, a contin%ance of fo%l or
%nseasonable ,eather, and the li&e, by adding to each the e8ithet
of ;ahoo$ <or instance, hhnm ;ahoo7 ,hnaholm ;ahoo, ynlhmnd,ihlma
;ahoo, and an illFcontrived ho%se ynholmhnmrohln, ;ahoo$
1 co%ld, ,ith great 8leas%re, enlarge f%rther %8on the manners and
virt%es of this excellent 8eo8le7 b%t intending in a short time to
8%blish a vol%me by itself, ex8ressly %8on that s%b?ect, 1 refer
the reader thither7 and, in the mean time, 8roceed to relate my o,n
sad catastro8he$
:-3PT.( N$
4The a%thor's economy, and ha88y life, among the -o%yhnhnms$ -is
great im8rovement in virt%e by conversing ,ith them$ Their
conversations$ The a%thor has notice given him by his master, that
he m%st de8art from the co%ntry$ -e falls into a s,oon for grief7
b%t s%bmits$ -e contrives and finishes a canoe by the hel8 of a
fello,Fservant, and 8%ts to sea at a vent%re$5
1 had settled my little economy to my o,n heart's content$ 6y
master had ordered a room to be made for me, after their manner,
abo%t six yards from the ho%seA the sides and floors of ,hich 1
8lastered ,ith clay, and covered ,ith r%shFmats of my o,n
contriving$ 1 had beaten hem8, ,hich there gro,s ,ild, and made of
it a sort of tic&ing7 this 1 filled ,ith the feathers of several
birds 1 had ta&en ,ith s8ringes made of ;ahoos' hairs, and ,ere
excellent food$ 1 had ,or&ed t,o chairs ,ith my &nife, the sorrel
nag hel8ing me in the grosser and more laborio%s 8art$ *hen my
clothes ,ere ,orn to rags, 1 made myself others ,ith the s&ins of
rabbits, and of a certain bea%tif%l animal, abo%t the same siEe,
called nn%hnoh, the s&in of ,hich is covered ,ith a fine do,n$ 2f
these 1 also made very tolerable stoc&ings$ 1 soled my shoes ,ith
,ood, ,hich 1 c%t from a tree, and fitted to the %88erFleather7 and
,hen this ,as ,orn o%t, 1 s%88lied it ,ith the s&ins of ;ahoos
dried in the s%n$ 1 often got honey o%t of hollo, trees, ,hich 1
mingled ,ith ,ater, or ate ,ith my bread$ )o man co%ld more verify
the tr%th of these t,o maxims, >That nat%re is very easily
satisfied7> and, >That necessity is the mother of invention$> 1
en?oyed 8erfect health of body, and tran9%illity of mind7 1 did not
feel the treachery or inconstancy of a friend, nor the in?%ries of
a secret or o8en enemy$ 1 had no occasion of bribing, flattering,
or 8im8ing, to 8roc%re the favo%r of any great man, or of his
minion7 1 ,anted no fence against fra%d or o88ressionA here ,as
neither 8hysician to destroy my body, nor la,yer to r%in my
fort%ne7 no informer to ,atch my ,ords and actions, or forge
acc%sations against me for hireA here ,ere no gibers, cens%rers,
bac&biters, 8ic&8oc&ets, high,aymen, ho%sebrea&ers, attorneys,
ba,ds, b%ffoons, gamesters, 8oliticians, ,its, s8lenetics, tedio%s
tal&ers, controvertists, ravishers, m%rderers, robbers, virt%osos7
no leaders, or follo,ers, of 8arty and faction7 no enco%ragers to
vice, by sed%cement or exam8les7 no d%ngeon, axes, gibbets,
,hi88ingF8osts, or 8illories7 no cheating sho8&ee8ers or mechanics7
no 8ride, vanity, or affectation7 no fo8s, b%llies, dr%n&ards,
strolling ,hores, or 8oxes7 no ranting, le,d, ex8ensive ,ives7 no
st%8id, 8ro%d 8edants7 no im8ort%nate, overbearing, 9%arrelsome,
noisy, roaring, em8ty, conceited, s,earing com8anions7 no
sco%ndrels raised from the d%st %8on the merit of their vices, or
nobility thro,n into it on acco%nt of their virt%es7 no lords,
fiddlers, ?%dges, or dancingFmasters$
1 had the favo%r of being admitted to several -o%yhnhnms, ,ho came
to visit or dine ,ith my master7 ,here his hono%r gracio%sly
s%ffered me to ,ait in the room, and listen to their disco%rse$
Both he and his com8any ,o%ld often descend to as& me 9%estions,
and receive my ans,ers$ 1 had also sometimes the hono%r of
attending my master in his visits to others$ 1 never 8res%med to
s8ea&, exce8t in ans,er to a 9%estion7 and then 1 did it ,ith
in,ard regret, beca%se it ,as a loss of so m%ch time for im8roving
myself7 b%t 1 ,as infinitely delighted ,ith the station of an
h%mble a%ditor in s%ch conversations, ,here nothing 8assed b%t ,hat
,as %sef%l, ex8ressed in the fe,est and most significant ,ords7
,here, as 1 have already said, the greatest decency ,as observed,
,itho%t the least degree of ceremony7 ,here no 8erson s8o&e ,itho%t
being 8leased himself, and 8leasing his com8anions7 ,here there ,as
no interr%8tion, tedio%sness, heat, or difference of sentiments$
They have a notion, that ,hen 8eo8le are met together, a short
silence does m%ch im8rove conversationA this 1 fo%nd to be tr%e7
for d%ring those little intermissions of tal&, ne, ideas ,o%ld
arise in their minds, ,hich very m%ch enlivened the disco%rse$
Their s%b?ects are, generally on friendshi8 and benevolence, on
order and economy7 sometimes %8on the visible o8erations of nat%re,
or ancient traditions7 %8on the bo%nds and limits of virt%e7 %8on
the %nerring r%les of reason, or %8on some determinations to be
ta&en at the next great assemblyA and often %8on the vario%s
excellences of 8oetry$ 1 may add, ,itho%t vanity, that my 8resence
often gave them s%fficient matter for disco%rse, beca%se it
afforded my master an occasion of letting his friends into the
history of me and my co%ntry, %8on ,hich they ,ere all 8leased to
descant, in a manner not very advantageo%s to h%man&indA and for
that reason 1 shall not re8eat ,hat they said7 only 1 may be
allo,ed to observe, that his hono%r, to my great admiration,
a88eared to %nderstand the nat%re of ;ahoos m%ch better than
myself$ -e ,ent thro%gh all o%r vices and follies, and discovered
many, ,hich 1 had never mentioned to him, by only s%88osing ,hat
9%alities a ;ahoo of their co%ntry, ,ith a small 8ro8ortion of
reason, might be ca8able of exerting7 and concl%ded, ,ith too m%ch
8robability, >ho, vile, as ,ell as miserable, s%ch a creat%re m%st
1 freely confess, that all the little &no,ledge 1 have of any
val%e, ,as ac9%ired by the lect%res 1 received from my master, and
from hearing the disco%rses of him and his friends7 to ,hich 1
sho%ld be 8ro%der to listen, than to dictate to the greatest and
,isest assembly in .%ro8e$ 1 admired the strength, comeliness, and
s8eed of the inhabitants7 and s%ch a constellation of virt%es, in
s%ch amiable 8ersons, 8rod%ced in me the highest veneration$ 3t
first, indeed, 1 did not feel that nat%ral a,e, ,hich the ;ahoos
and all other animals bear to,ard them7 b%t it gre, %8on me by
decrees, m%ch sooner than 1 imagined, and ,as mingled ,ith a
res8ectf%l love and gratit%de, that they ,o%ld condescend to
disting%ish me from the rest of my s8ecies$
*hen 1 tho%ght of my family, my friends, my co%ntrymen, or the
h%man race in general, 1 considered them, as they really ,ere,
;ahoos in sha8e and dis8osition, 8erha8s a little more civiliEed,
and 9%alified ,ith the gift of s8eech7 b%t ma&ing no other %se of
reason, than to im8rove and m%lti8ly those vices ,hereof their
brethren in this co%ntry had only the share that nat%re allotted
them$ *hen 1 ha88ened to behold the reflection of my o,n form in a
la&e or fo%ntain, 1 t%rned a,ay my face in horror and detestation
of myself, and co%ld better end%re the sight of a common ;ahoo than
of my o,n 8erson$ By conversing ,ith the -o%yhnhnms, and loo&ing
%8on them ,ith delight, 1 fell to imitate their gait and gest%re,
,hich is no, gro,n into a habit7 and my friends often tell me, in a
bl%nt ,ay, >that 1 trot li&e a horse7> ,hich, ho,ever, 1 ta&e for a
great com8liment$ )either shall 1 diso,n, that in s8ea&ing 1 am
a8t to fall into the voice and manner of the -o%yhnhnms, and hear
myself ridic%led on that acco%nt, ,itho%t the least mortification$
1n the midst of all this ha88iness, and ,hen 1 loo&ed %8on myself
to be f%lly settled for life, my master sent for me one morning a
little earlier than his %s%al ho%r$ 1 observed by his co%ntenance
that he ,as in some 8er8lexity, and at a loss ho, to begin ,hat he
had to s8ea&$ 3fter a short silence, he told me, >he did not &no,
ho, 1 ,o%ld ta&e ,hat he ,as going to sayA that in the last
general assembly, ,hen the affair of the ;ahoos ,as entered %8on,
the re8resentatives had ta&en offence at his &ee8ing a ;ahoo
Bmeaning myselfC in his family, more li&e a -o%yhnhnm than a br%te
animal7 that he ,as &no,n fre9%ently to converse ,ith me, as if he
co%ld receive some advantage or 8leas%re in my com8any7 that s%ch a
8ractice ,as not agreeable to reason or nat%re, or a thing ever
heard of before among them7 the assembly did therefore exhort him
either to em8loy me li&e the rest of my s8ecies, or command me to
s,im bac& to the 8lace ,hence 1 cameA that the first of these
ex8edients ,as %tterly re?ected by all the -o%yhnhnms ,ho had ever
seen me at his ho%se or their o,n7 for they alleged, that beca%se 1
had some r%diments of reason, added to the nat%ral 8ravity of those
animals, it ,as to be feared 1 might be able to sed%ce them into
the ,oody and mo%ntaino%s 8arts of the co%ntry, and bring them in
troo8s by night to destroy the -o%yhnhnms' cattle, as being
nat%rally of the raveno%s &ind, and averse from labo%r$>
6y master added, >that he ,as daily 8ressed by the -o%yhnhnms of
the neighbo%rhood to have the assembly's exhortation exec%ted,
,hich he co%ld not 8%t off m%ch longer$ -e do%bted it ,o%ld be
im8ossible for me to s,im to another co%ntry7 and therefore ,ished
1 ,o%ld contrive some sort of vehicle, resembling those 1 had
described to him, that might carry me on the sea7 in ,hich ,or& 1
sho%ld have the assistance of his o,n servants, as ,ell as those of
his neighbo%rs$> -e concl%ded, >that for his o,n 8art, he co%ld
have been content to &ee8 me in his service as long as 1 lived7
beca%se he fo%nd 1 had c%red myself of some bad habits and
dis8ositions, by endeavo%ring, as far as my inferior nat%re ,as
ca8able, to imitate the -o%yhnhnms$>
1 sho%ld here observe to the reader, that a decree of the general
assembly in this co%ntry is ex8ressed by the ,ord hnhloayn, ,hich
signifies an exhortation, as near as 1 can render it7 for they have
no conce8tion ho, a rational creat%re can be com8elled, b%t only
advised, or exhorted7 beca%se no 8erson can disobey reason, ,itho%t
giving %8 his claim to be a rational creat%re$
1 ,as str%c& ,ith the %tmost grief and des8air at my master's
disco%rse7 and being %nable to s%88ort the agonies 1 ,as %nder, 1
fell into a s,oon at his feet$ *hen 1 came to myself, he told me
>that he concl%ded 1 had been dead7> for these 8eo8le are s%b?ect
to no s%ch imbecilities of nat%re$ 1 ans,ered in a faint voice,
>that death ,o%ld have been too great a ha88iness7 that altho%gh 1
co%ld not blame the assembly's exhortation, or the %rgency of his
friends7 yet, in my ,ea& and corr%8t ?%dgment, 1 tho%ght it might
consist ,ith reason to have been less rigoro%s7 that 1 co%ld not
s,im a leag%e, and 8robably the nearest land to theirs might be
distant above a h%ndredA that many materials, necessary for ma&ing
a small vessel to carry me off, ,ere ,holly ,anting in this
co%ntry7 ,hich, ho,ever, 1 ,o%ld attem8t, in obedience and
gratit%de to his hono%r, altho%gh 1 concl%ded the thing to be
im8ossible, and therefore loo&ed on myself as already devoted to
destr%ction7 that the certain 8ros8ect of an %nnat%ral death ,as
the least of my evils7 for, s%88osing 1 sho%ld esca8e ,ith life by
some strange advent%re, ho, co%ld 1 thin& ,ith tem8er of 8assing my
days among ;ahoos, and rela8sing into my old corr%8tions, for ,ant
of exam8les to lead and &ee8 me ,ithin the 8aths of virt%eD that 1
&ne, too ,ell %8on ,hat solid reasons all the determinations of the
,ise -o%yhnhnms ,ere fo%nded, not to be sha&en by arg%ments of
mine, a miserable ;ahoo7 and therefore, after 8resenting him ,ith
my h%mble than&s for the offer of his servants' assistance in
ma&ing a vessel, and desiring a reasonable time for so diffic%lt a
,or&, 1 told him 1 ,o%ld endeavo%r to 8reserve a ,retched being7
and if ever 1 ret%rned to .ngland, ,as not ,itho%t ho8es of being
%sef%l to my o,n s8ecies, by celebrating the 8raises of the
reno,ned -o%yhnhnms, and 8ro8osing their virt%es to the imitation
of man&ind$>
6y master, in a fe, ,ords, made me a very gracio%s re8ly7 allo,ed
me the s8ace of t,o months to finish my boat7 and ordered the
sorrel nag, my fello,Fservant Bfor so, at this distance, 1 may
8res%me to call himC, to follo, my instr%ction7 beca%se 1 told my
master, >that his hel8 ,o%ld be s%fficient, and 1 &ne, he had a
tenderness for me$>
1n his com8any, my first b%siness ,as to go to that 8art of the
coast ,here my rebellio%s cre, had ordered me to be set on shore$
1 got %8on a height, and loo&ing on every side into the sea7
fancied 1 sa, a small island to,ard the northFeast$ 1 too& o%t my
8oc&et glass, and co%ld then clearly disting%ish it above five
leag%es off, as 1 com8%ted7 b%t it a88eared to the sorrel nag to be
only a bl%e clo%dA for as he had no conce8tion of any co%ntry
beside his o,n, so he co%ld not be as ex8ert in disting%ishing
remote ob?ects at sea, as ,e ,ho so m%ch converse in that element$
3fter 1 had discovered this island, 1 considered no f%rther7 b%t
resolved it sho%ld if 8ossible, be the first 8lace of my
banishment, leaving the conse9%ence to fort%ne$
1 ret%rned home, and cons%lting ,ith the sorrel nag, ,e ,ent into a
co8se at some distance, ,here 1 ,ith my &nife, and he ,ith a shar8
flint, fastened very artificially after their manner, to a ,ooden
handle, c%t do,n several oa& ,attles, abo%t the thic&ness of a
,al&ingFstaff, and some larger 8ieces$ B%t 1 shall not tro%ble the
reader ,ith a 8artic%lar descri8tion of my o,n mechanics7 let it
s%ffice to say, that in six ,ee&s time ,ith the hel8 of the sorrel
nag, ,ho 8erformed the 8arts that re9%ired most labo%r, 1 finished
a sort of 1ndian canoe, b%t m%ch larger, covering it ,ith the s&ins
of ;ahoos, ,ell stitched together ,ith hem8en threads of my o,n
ma&ing$ 6y sail ,as li&e,ise com8osed of the s&ins of the same
animal7 b%t 1 made %se of the yo%ngest 1 co%ld get, the older being
too to%gh and thic&7 and 1 li&e,ise 8rovided myself ,ith fo%r
8addles$ 1 laid in a stoc& of boiled flesh, of rabbits and fo,ls,
and too& ,ith me t,o vessels, one filled ,ith mil& and the other
,ith ,ater$
1 tried my canoe in a large 8ond, near my master's ho%se, and then
corrected in it ,hat ,as amiss7 sto88ing all the chin&s ,ith
;ahoos' tallo,, till 1 fo%nd it sta%nch, and able to bear me and my
freight7 and, ,hen it ,as as com8lete as 1 co%ld 8ossibly ma&e it,
1 had it dra,n on a carriage very gently by ;ahoos to the seaFside,
%nder the cond%ct of the sorrel nag and another servant$
*hen all ,as ready, and the day came for my de8art%re, 1 too& leave
of my master and lady and the ,hole family, my eyes flo,ing ,ith
tears, and my heart 9%ite s%n& ,ith grief$ B%t his hono%r, o%t of
c%riosity, and, 8erha8s, Bif 1 may s8ea& ,itho%t vanity,C 8artly
o%t of &indness, ,as determined to see me in my canoe, and got
several of his neighbo%ring friends to accom8any him$ 1 ,as forced
to ,ait above an ho%r for the tide7 and then observing the ,ind
very fort%nately bearing to,ard the island to ,hich 1 intended to
steer my co%rse, 1 too& a second leave of my masterA b%t as 1 ,as
going to 8rostrate myself to &iss his hoof, he did me the hono%r to
raise it gently to my mo%th$ 1 am not ignorant ho, m%ch 1 have
been cens%red for mentioning this last 8artic%lar$ Detractors are
8leased to thin& it im8robable, that so ill%strio%s a 8erson sho%ld
descend to give so great a mar& of distinction to a creat%re so
inferior as 1$ )either have 1 forgotten ho, a8t some travellers
are to boast of extraordinary favo%rs they have received$ B%t, if
these cens%rers ,ere better ac9%ainted ,ith the noble and co%rteo%s
dis8osition of the -o%yhnhnms, they ,o%ld soon change their
1 8aid my res8ects to the rest of the -o%yhnhnms in his hono%r's
com8any7 then getting into my canoe, 1 8%shed off from shore$
:-3PT.( N1$
4The a%thor's dangero%s voyage$ -e arrives at )e, -olland, ho8ing
to settle there$ 1s ,o%nded ,ith an arro, by one of the natives$
1s seiEed and carried by force into a Port%g%ese shi8$ The great
civilities of the ca8tain$ The a%thor arrives at .ngland$5
1 began this des8erate voyage on <ebr%ary 1I, 1!1"F1I, at nine
o'cloc& in the morning$ The ,ind ,as very favo%rable7 ho,ever, 1
made %se at first only of my 8addles7 b%t considering 1 sho%ld soon
be ,eary, and that the ,ind might cho8 abo%t, 1 vent%red to set %8
my little sail7 and th%s, ,ith the hel8 of the tide, 1 ,ent at the
rate of a leag%e and a half an ho%r, as near as 1 co%ld g%ess$ 6y
master and his friends contin%ed on the shore till 1 ,as almost o%t
of sight7 and 1 often heard the sorrel nag B,ho al,ays loved meC
crying o%t, >-n%y illa nyha, ma?ah ;ahoo7> >Ta&e care of thyself,
gentle ;ahoo$>
6y design ,as, if 8ossible, to discover some small island
%ninhabited, yet s%fficient, by my labo%r, to f%rnish me ,ith the
necessaries of life, ,hich 1 ,o%ld have tho%ght a greater
ha88iness, than to be first minister in the 8olitest co%rt of
.%ro8e7 so horrible ,as the idea 1 conceived of ret%rning to live
in the society, and %nder the government of ;ahoos$ <or in s%ch a
solit%de as 1 desired, 1 co%ld at least en?oy my o,n tho%ghts, and
reflect ,ith delight on the virt%es of those inimitable -o%yhnhnms,
,itho%t an o88ort%nity of degenerating into the vices and
corr%8tions of my o,n s8ecies$
The reader may remember ,hat 1 related, ,hen my cre, cons8ired
against me, and confined me to my cabin7 ho, 1 contin%ed there
several ,ee&s ,itho%t &no,ing ,hat co%rse ,e too&7 and ,hen 1 ,as
8%t ashore in the longFboat, ho, the sailors told me, ,ith oaths,
,hether tr%e or false, >that they &ne, not in ,hat 8art of the
,orld ,e ,ere$> -o,ever, 1 did then believe %s to be abo%t 1
degrees so%th,ard of the :a8e of Good -o8e, or abo%t "I degrees
so%thern latit%de, as 1 gathered from some general ,ords 1
overheard among them, being 1 s%88osed to the so%thFeast in their
intended voyage to 6adagascar$ 3nd altho%gh this ,ere little
better than con?ect%re, yet 1 resolved to steer my co%rse east,ard,
ho8ing to reach the so%thF,est coast of )e, -olland, and 8erha8s
some s%ch island as 1 desired lying ,est,ard of it$ The ,ind ,as
f%ll ,est, and by six in the evening 1 com8%ted 1 had gone east,ard
at least eighteen leag%es7 ,hen 1 s8ied a very small island abo%t
half a leag%e off, ,hich 1 soon reached$ 1t ,as nothing b%t a
roc&, ,ith one cree& nat%rally arched by the force of tem8ests$
-ere 1 8%t in my canoe, and climbing a 8art of the roc&, 1 co%ld
8lainly discover land to the east, extending from so%th to north$
1 lay all night in my canoe7 and re8eating my voyage early in the
morning, 1 arrived in seven ho%rs to the so%thFeast 8oint of )e,
-olland$ This confirmed me in the o8inion 1 have long entertained,
that the ma8s and charts 8lace this co%ntry at least three degrees
more to the east than it really is7 ,hich tho%ght 1 comm%nicated
many years ago to my ,orthy friend, 6r$ -erman 6oll, and gave him
my reasons for it, altho%gh he has rather chosen to follo, other
1 sa, no inhabitants in the 8lace ,here 1 landed, and being
%narmed, 1 ,as afraid of vent%ring far into the co%ntry$ 1 fo%nd
some shellfish on the shore, and ate them ra,, not daring to &indle
a fire, for fear of being discovered by the natives$ 1 contin%ed
three days feeding on oysters and lim8ets, to save my o,n
8rovisions7 and 1 fort%nately fo%nd a broo& of excellent ,ater,
,hich gave me great relief$
2n the fo%rth day, vent%ring o%t early a little too far, 1 sa,
t,enty or thirty natives %8on a height not above five h%ndred yards
from me$ They ,ere star& na&ed, men, ,omen, and children, ro%nd a
fire, as 1 co%ld discover by the smo&e$ 2ne of them s8ied me, and
gave notice to the rest7 five of them advanced to,ard me, leaving
the ,omen and children at the fire$ 1 made ,hat haste 1 co%ld to
the shore, and, getting into my canoe, shoved offA the savages,
observing me retreat, ran after meA and before 1 co%ld get far
eno%gh into the sea, discharged an arro, ,hich ,o%nded me dee8ly on
the inside of my left &neeA 1 shall carry the mar& to my grave$ 1
a88rehended the arro, might be 8oisoned, and 8addling o%t of the
reach of their darts Bbeing a calm dayC, 1 made a shift to s%c& the
,o%nd, and dress it as ,ell as 1 co%ld$
1 ,as at a loss ,hat to do, for 1 d%rst not ret%rn to the same
landingF8lace, b%t stood to the north, and ,as forced to 8addle,
for the ,ind, tho%gh very gentle, ,as against me, blo,ing northF
,est$ 3s 1 ,as loo&ing abo%t for a sec%re landingF8lace, 1 sa, a
sail to the northFnorthFeast, ,hich a88earing every min%te more
visible, 1 ,as in some do%bt ,hether 1 sho%ld ,ait for them or not7
b%t at last my detestation of the ;ahoo race 8revailedA and
t%rning my canoe, 1 sailed and 8addled together to the so%th, and
got into the same cree& ,hence 1 set o%t in the morning, choosing
rather to tr%st myself among these barbarians, than live ,ith
.%ro8ean ;ahoos$ 1 dre, %8 my canoe as close as 1 co%ld to the
shore, and hid myself behind a stone by the little broo&, ,hich, as
1 have already said, ,as excellent ,ater$
The shi8 came ,ithin half a leag%e of this cree&, and sent her long
boat ,ith vessels to ta&e in fresh ,ater Bfor the 8lace, it seems,
,as very ,ell &no,nC7 b%t 1 did not observe it, till the boat ,as
almost on shore7 and it ,as too late to see& another hidingF8lace$
The seamen at their landing observed my canoe, and r%mmaging it all
over, easily con?ect%red that the o,ner co%ld not be far off$ <o%r
of them, ,ell armed, searched every cranny and l%r&ingFhole, till
at last they fo%nd me flat on my face behind the stone$ They gaEed
a,hile in admiration at my strange %nco%th dress7 my coat made of
s&ins, my ,oodenFsoled shoes, and my f%rred stoc&ings7 ,hence,
ho,ever, they concl%ded, 1 ,as not a native of the 8lace, ,ho all
go na&ed$ 2ne of the seamen, in Port%g%ese, bid me rise, and as&ed
,ho 1 ,as$ 1 %nderstood that lang%age very ,ell, and getting %8on
my feet, said, >1 ,as a 8oor ;ahoo banished from the -o%yhnhnms,
and desired they ,o%ld 8lease to let me de8art$> They admired to
hear me ans,er them in their o,n tong%e, and sa, by my com8lexion 1
m%st be a .%ro8ean7 b%t ,ere at a loss to &no, ,hat 1 meant by
;ahoos and -o%yhnhnms7 and at the same time fell aFla%ghing at my
strange tone in s8ea&ing, ,hich resembled the neighing of a horse$
1 trembled all the ,hile bet,ixt fear and hatred$ 1 again desired
leave to de8art, and ,as gently moving to my canoe7 b%t they laid
hold of me, desiring to &no,, >,hat co%ntry 1 ,as ofD ,hence 1
cameD> ,ith many other 9%estions$ 1 told them >1 ,as born in
.ngland, ,hence 1 came abo%t five years ago, and then their co%ntry
and o%rs ,ere at 8eace$ 1 therefore ho8ed they ,o%ld not treat me
as an enemy, since 1 meant them no harm, b%t ,as a 8oor ;ahoo
see&ing some desolate 8lace ,here to 8ass the remainder of his
%nfort%nate life$>
*hen they began to tal&, 1 tho%ght 1 never heard or sa, any thing
more %nnat%ral7 for it a88eared to me as monstro%s as if a dog or a
co, sho%ld s8ea& in .ngland, or a ;ahoo in -o%yhnhnmland$ The
honest Port%g%ese ,ere e9%ally amaEed at my strange dress, and the
odd manner of delivering my ,ords, ,hich, ho,ever, they %nderstood
very ,ell$ They s8o&e to me ,ith great h%manity, and said, >they
,ere s%re the ca8tain ,o%ld carry me gratis to 0isbon, ,hence 1
might ret%rn to my o,n co%ntry7 that t,o of the seamen ,o%ld go
bac& to the shi8, inform the ca8tain of ,hat they had seen, and
receive his orders7 in the mean time, %nless 1 ,o%ld give my solemn
oath not to fly, they ,o%ld sec%re me by force$ 1 tho%ght it best
to com8ly ,ith their 8ro8osal$ They ,ere very c%rio%s to &no, my
story, b%t 1 gave them very little satisfaction, and they all
con?ect%red that my misfort%nes had im8aired my reason$ 1n t,o
ho%rs the boat, ,hich ,ent laden ,ith vessels of ,ater, ret%rned,
,ith the ca8tain's command to fetch me on board$ 1 fell on my
&nees to 8reserve my liberty7 b%t all ,as in vain7 and the men,
having tied me ,ith cords, heaved me into the boat, ,hence 1 ,as
ta&en into the shi8, and thence into the ca8tain's cabin$
-is name ,as Pedro de 6endeE7 he ,as a very co%rteo%s and genero%s
8erson$ -e entreated me to give some acco%nt of myself, and
desired to &no, ,hat 1 ,o%ld eat or drin&7 said, >1 sho%ld be %sed
as ,ell as himself7> and s8o&e so many obliging things, that 1
,ondered to find s%ch civilities from a ;ahoo$ -o,ever, 1 remained
silent and s%llen7 1 ,as ready to faint at the very smell of him
and his men$ 3t last 1 desired something to eat o%t of my o,n
canoe7 b%t he ordered me a chic&en, and some excellent ,ine, and
then directed that 1 sho%ld be 8%t to bed in a very clean cabin$ 1
,o%ld not %ndress myself, b%t lay on the bedFclothes, and in half
an ho%r stole o%t, ,hen 1 tho%ght the cre, ,as at dinner, and
getting to the side of the shi8, ,as going to lea8 into the sea,
and s,im for my life, rather than contin%e among ;ahoos$ B%t one
of the seamen 8revented me, and having informed the ca8tain, 1 ,as
chained to my cabin$
3fter dinner, Don Pedro came to me, and desired to &no, my reason
for so des8erate an attem8t7 ass%red me, >he only meant to do me
all the service he ,as able7> and s8o&e so very movingly, that at
last 1 descended to treat him li&e an animal ,hich had some little
8ortion of reason$ 1 gave him a very short relation of my voyage7
of the cons8iracy against me by my o,n men7 of the co%ntry ,here
they set me on shore, and of my five years residence there$ 3ll
,hich he loo&ed %8on as if it ,ere a dream or a vision7 ,hereat 1
too& great offence7 for 1 had 9%ite forgot the fac%lty of lying, so
8ec%liar to ;ahoos, in all co%ntries ,here they 8reside, and,
conse9%ently, their dis8osition of s%s8ecting tr%th in others of
their o,n s8ecies$ 1 as&ed him, >,hether it ,ere the c%stom in his
co%ntry to say the thing ,hich ,as notD> 1 ass%red him, >1 had
almost forgot ,hat he meant by falsehood, and if 1 had lived a
tho%sand years in -o%yhnhnmland, 1 sho%ld never have heard a lie
from the meanest servant7 that 1 ,as altogether indifferent ,hether
he believed me or not7 b%t, ho,ever, in ret%rn for his favo%rs, 1
,o%ld give so m%ch allo,ance to the corr%8tion of his nat%re, as to
ans,er any ob?ection he ,o%ld 8lease to ma&e, and then he might
easily discover the tr%th$>
The ca8tain, a ,ise man, after many endeavo%rs to catch me tri88ing
in some 8art of my story, at last began to have a better o8inion of
my veracity$ B%t he added, >that since 1 8rofessed so inviolable
an attachment to tr%th, 1 m%st give him my ,ord and hono%r to bear
him com8any in this voyage, ,itho%t attem8ting any thing against my
life7 or else he ,o%ld contin%e me a 8risoner till ,e arrived at
0isbon$> 1 gave him the 8romise he re9%ired7 b%t at the same time
8rotested, >that 1 ,o%ld s%ffer the greatest hardshi8s, rather than
ret%rn to live among ;ahoos$>
2%r voyage 8assed ,itho%t any considerable accident$ 1n gratit%de
to the ca8tain, 1 sometimes sat ,ith him, at his earnest re9%est,
and strove to conceal my anti8athy against h%man &ind, altho%gh it
often bro&e o%t7 ,hich he s%ffered to 8ass ,itho%t observation$
B%t the greatest 8art of the day 1 confined myself to my cabin, to
avoid seeing any of the cre,$ The ca8tain had often entreated me
to stri8 myself of my savage dress, and offered to lend me the best
s%it of clothes he had$ This 1 ,o%ld not be 8revailed on to
acce8t, abhorring to cover myself ,ith any thing that had been on
the bac& of a ;ahoo$ 1 only desired he ,o%ld lend me t,o clean
shirts, ,hich, having been ,ashed since he ,ore them, 1 believed
,o%ld not so m%ch defile me$ These 1 changed every second day, and
,ashed them myself$
*e arrived at 0isbon, )ov$ I, 1!1I$ 3t o%r landing, the ca8tain
forced me to cover myself ,ith his cloa&, to 8revent the rabble
from cro,ding abo%t me$ 1 ,as conveyed to his o,n ho%se7 and at my
earnest re9%est he led me %8 to the highest room bac&,ards$ 1
con?%red him >to conceal from all 8ersons ,hat 1 had told him of
the -o%yhnhnms7 beca%se the least hint of s%ch a story ,o%ld not
only dra, n%mbers of 8eo8le to see me, b%t 8robably 8%t me in
danger of being im8risoned, or b%rnt by the 1n9%isition$> The
ca8tain 8ers%aded me to acce8t a s%it of clothes ne,ly made7 b%t 1
,o%ld not s%ffer the tailor to ta&e my meas%re7 ho,ever, Don Pedro
being almost of my siEe, they fitted me ,ell eno%gh$ -e acco%tred
me ,ith other necessaries, all ne,, ,hich 1 aired for t,entyFfo%r
ho%rs before 1 ,o%ld %se them$
The ca8tain had no ,ife, nor above three servants, none of ,hich
,ere s%ffered to attend at meals7 and his ,hole de8ortment ,as so
obliging, added to very good h%man %nderstanding, that 1 really
began to tolerate his com8any$ -e gained so far %8on me, that 1
vent%red to loo& o%t of the bac& ,indo,$ By degrees 1 ,as bro%ght
into another room, ,hence 1 8ee8ed into the street, b%t dre, my
head bac& in a fright$ 1n a ,ee&'s time he sed%ced me do,n to the
door$ 1 fo%nd my terror grad%ally lessened, b%t my hatred and
contem8t seemed to increase$ 1 ,as at last bold eno%gh to ,al& the
street in his com8any, b%t &e8t my nose ,ell sto88ed ,ith r%e, or
sometimes ,ith tobacco$
1n ten days, Don Pedro, to ,hom 1 had given some acco%nt of my
domestic affairs, 8%t it %8on me, as a matter of hono%r and
conscience, >that 1 o%ght to ret%rn to my native co%ntry, and live
at home ,ith my ,ife and children$> -e told me, >there ,as an
.nglish shi8 in the 8ort ?%st ready to sail, and he ,o%ld f%rnish
me ,ith all things necessary$> 1t ,o%ld be tedio%s to re8eat his
arg%ments, and my contradictions$ -e said, >it ,as altogether
im8ossible to find s%ch a solitary island as 1 desired to live in7
b%t 1 might command in my o,n ho%se, and 8ass my time in a manner
as recl%se as 1 8leased$>
1 com8lied at last, finding 1 co%ld not do better$ 1 left 0isbon
the 2"th day of )ovember, in an .nglish merchantman, b%t ,ho ,as
the master 1 never in9%ired$ Don Pedro accom8anied me to the shi8,
and lent me t,enty 8o%nds$ -e too& &ind leave of me, and embraced
me at 8arting, ,hich 1 bore as ,ell as 1 co%ld$ D%ring this last
voyage 1 had no commerce ,ith the master or any of his men7 b%t,
8retending 1 ,as sic&, &e8t close in my cabin$ 2n the fifth of
December, 1!1I, ,e cast anchor in the Do,ns, abo%t nine in the
morning, and at three in the afternoon 1 got safe to my ho%se at
(otherhith$ J!K
6y ,ife and family received me ,ith great s%r8rise and ?oy, beca%se
they concl%ded me certainly dead7 b%t 1 m%st freely confess the
sight of them filled me only ,ith hatred, disg%st, and contem8t7
and the more, by reflecting on the near alliance 1 had to them$
<or altho%gh, since my %nfort%nate exile from the -o%yhnhnm
co%ntry, 1 had com8elled myself to tolerate the sight of ;ahoos,
and to converse ,ith Don Pedro de 6endeE, yet my memory and
imagination ,ere 8er8et%ally filled ,ith the virt%es and ideas of
those exalted -o%yhnhnms$ 3nd ,hen 1 began to consider that, by
co8%lating ,ith one of the ;ahoo s8ecies 1 had become a 8arent of
more, it str%c& me ,ith the %tmost shame, conf%sion, and horror$
3s soon as 1 entered the ho%se, my ,ife too& me in her arms, and
&issed me7 at ,hich, having not been %sed to the to%ch of that
odio%s animal for so many years, 1 fell into a s,oon for almost an
ho%r$ 3t the time 1 am ,riting, it is five years since my last
ret%rn to .ngland$ D%ring the first year, 1 co%ld not end%re my
,ife or children in my 8resence7 the very smell of them ,as
intolerable7 m%ch less co%ld 1 s%ffer them to eat in the same room$
To this ho%r they dare not 8res%me to to%ch my bread, or drin& o%t
of the same c%8, neither ,as 1 ever able to let one of them ta&e me
by the hand$ The first money 1 laid o%t ,as to b%y t,o yo%ng
stoneFhorses, ,hich 1 &ee8 in a good stable7 and next to them, the
groom is my greatest favo%rite, for 1 feel my s8irits revived by
the smell he contracts in the stable$ 6y horses %nderstand me
tolerably ,ell7 1 converse ,ith them at least fo%r ho%rs every day$
They are strangers to bridle or saddle7 they live in great amity
,ith me and friendshi8 to each other$
:-3PT.( N11$
4The a%thor's veracity$ -is design in 8%blishing this ,or&$ -is
cens%re of those travellers ,ho s,erve from the tr%th$ The a%thor
clears himself from any sinister ends in ,riting$ 3n ob?ection
ans,ered$ The method of 8lanting colonies$ -is native co%ntry
commended$ The right of the cro,n to those co%ntries described by
the a%thor is ?%stified$ The diffic%lty of con9%ering them$ The
a%thor ta&es his last leave of the reader7 8ro8oses his manner of
living for the f%t%re7 gives good advice, and concl%des$5
Th%s, gentle reader, 1 have given thee a faithf%l history of my
travels for sixteen years and above seven monthsA ,herein 1 have
not been so st%dio%s of ornament as of tr%th$ 1 co%ld, 8erha8s,
li&e others, have astonished thee ,ith strange im8robable tales7
b%t 1 rather chose to relate 8lain matter of fact, in the sim8lest
manner and style7 beca%se my 8rinci8al design ,as to inform, and
not to am%se thee$
1t is easy for %s ,ho travel into remote co%ntries, ,hich are
seldom visited by .nglishmen or other .%ro8eans, to form
descri8tions of ,onderf%l animals both at sea and land$ *hereas a
traveller's chief aim sho%ld be to ma&e men ,iser and better, and
to im8rove their minds by the bad, as ,ell as good, exam8le of ,hat
they deliver concerning foreign 8laces$
1 co%ld heartily ,ish a la, ,as enacted, that every traveller,
before he ,ere 8ermitted to 8%blish his voyages, sho%ld be obliged
to ma&e oath before the 0ord -igh :hancellor, that all he intended
to 8rint ,as absol%tely tr%e to the best of his &no,ledge7 for then
the ,orld ,o%ld no longer be deceived, as it %s%ally is, ,hile some
,riters, to ma&e their ,or&s 8ass the better %8on the 8%blic,
im8ose the grossest falsities on the %n,ary reader$ 1 have 8er%sed
several boo&s of travels ,ith great delight in my yo%nger days7 b%t
having since gone over most 8arts of the globe, and been able to
contradict many fab%lo%s acco%nts from my o,n observation, it has
given me a great disg%st against this 8art of reading, and some
indignation to see the cred%lity of man&ind so im8%dently ab%sed$
Therefore, since my ac9%aintance ,ere 8leased to thin& my 8oor
endeavo%rs might not be %nacce8table to my co%ntry, 1 im8osed on
myself, as a maxim never to be s,erved from, that 1 ,o%ld strictly
adhere to tr%th7 neither indeed can 1 be ever %nder the least
tem8tation to vary from it, ,hile 1 retain in my mind the lect%res
and exam8le of my noble master and the other ill%strio%s -o%yhnhnms
of ,hom 1 had so long the hono%r to be an h%mble hearer$
F )ec si miser%m <ort%na Sinonem
<inxit, van%m etiam, mendacem9%e im8roba finget$
1 &no, very ,ell, ho, little re8%tation is to be got by ,ritings
,hich re9%ire neither geni%s nor learning, nor indeed any other
talent, exce8t a good memory, or an exact ?o%rnal$ 1 &no,
li&e,ise, that ,riters of travels, li&e dictionaryFma&ers, are s%n&
into oblivion by the ,eight and b%l& of those ,ho come last, and
therefore lie %88ermost$ 3nd it is highly 8robable, that s%ch
travellers, ,ho shall hereafter visit the co%ntries described in
this ,or& of mine, may, by detecting my errors Bif there be anyC,
and adding many ne, discoveries of their o,n, ?%stle me o%t of
vog%e, and stand in my 8lace, ma&ing the ,orld forget that ever 1
,as an a%thor$ This indeed ,o%ld be too great a mortification, if
1 ,rote for fameA b%t as my sole intention ,as the 8%blic good, 1
cannot be altogether disa88ointed$ <or ,ho can read of the virt%es
1 have mentioned in the glorio%s -o%yhnhnms, ,itho%t being ashamed
of his o,n vices, ,hen he considers himself as the reasoning,
governing animal of his co%ntryD 1 shall say nothing of those
remote nations ,here ;ahoos 8reside7 among ,hich the least
corr%8ted are the Brobdingnagians7 ,hose ,ise maxims in morality
and government it ,o%ld be o%r ha88iness to observe$ B%t 1 forbear
descanting f%rther, and rather leave the ?%dicio%s reader to his
o,n remar&s and a88lication$
1 am not a little 8leased that this ,or& of mine can 8ossibly meet
,ith no cens%rersA for ,hat ob?ections can be made against a
,riter, ,ho relates only 8lain facts, that ha88ened in s%ch distant
co%ntries, ,here ,e have not the least interest, ,ith res8ect
either to trade or negotiationsD 1 have caref%lly avoided every
fa%lt ,ith ,hich common ,riters of travels are often too ?%stly
charged$ Besides, 1 meddle not the least ,ith any 8arty, b%t ,rite
,itho%t 8assion, 8re?%dice, or illF,ill against any man, or n%mber
of men, ,hatsoever$ 1 ,rite for the noblest end, to inform and
instr%ct man&ind7 over ,hom 1 may, ,itho%t breach of modesty,
8retend to some s%8eriority, from the advantages 1 received by
conversing so long among the most accom8lished -o%yhnhnms$ 1 ,rite
,itho%t any vie, to 8rofit or 8raise$ 1 never s%ffer a ,ord to
8ass that may loo& li&e reflection, or 8ossibly give the least
offence, even to those ,ho are most ready to ta&e it$ So that 1
ho8e 1 may ,ith ?%stice 8rono%nce myself an a%thor 8erfectly
blameless7 against ,hom the tribes of 3ns,erers, :onsiderers,
2bservers, (eflectors, Detectors, (emar&ers, ,ill never be able to
find matter for exercising their talents$
1 confess, it ,as ,his8ered to me, >that 1 ,as bo%nd in d%ty, as a
s%b?ect of .ngland, to have given in a memorial to a secretary of
state at my first coming over7 beca%se, ,hatever lands are
discovered by a s%b?ect belong to the cro,n$> B%t 1 do%bt ,hether
o%r con9%ests in the co%ntries 1 treat of ,o%ld be as easy as those
of <erdinando :orteE over the na&ed 3mericans$ The 0illi8%tians, 1
thin&, are hardly ,orth the charge of a fleet and army to red%ce
them7 and 1 9%estion ,hether it might be 8r%dent or safe to attem8t
the Brobdingnagians7 or ,hether an .nglish army ,o%ld be m%ch at
their ease ,ith the <lying 1sland over their heads$ The -o%yhnhnms
indeed a88ear not to be so ,ell 8re8ared for ,ar, a science to
,hich they are 8erfect strangers, and es8ecially against missive
,ea8ons$ -o,ever, s%88osing myself to be a minister of state, 1
co%ld never give my advice for invading them$ Their 8r%dence,
%nanimity, %nac9%aintedness ,ith fear, and their love of their
co%ntry, ,o%ld am8ly s%88ly all defects in the military art$
1magine t,enty tho%sand of them brea&ing into the midst of an
.%ro8ean army, confo%nding the ran&s, overt%rning the carriages,
battering the ,arriors' faces into m%mmy by terrible yer&s from
their hinder hoofs7 for they ,o%ld ,ell deserve the character given
to 3%g%st%s, (ecalcitrat %ndi9%e t%t%s$ B%t, instead of 8ro8osals
for con9%ering that magnanimo%s nation, 1 rather ,ish they ,ere in
a ca8acity, or dis8osition, to send a s%fficient n%mber of their
inhabitants for civiliEing .%ro8e, by teaching %s the first
8rinci8les of hono%r, ?%stice, tr%th, tem8erance, 8%blic s8irit,
fortit%de, chastity, friendshi8, benevolence, and fidelity$ The
names of all ,hich virt%es are still retained among %s in most
lang%ages, and are to be met ,ith in modern, as ,ell as ancient
a%thors7 ,hich 1 am able to assert from my o,n small reading$
B%t 1 had another reason, ,hich made me less for,ard to enlarge his
ma?esty's dominions by my discoveries$ To say the tr%th, 1 had
conceived a fe, scr%8les ,ith relation to the distrib%tive ?%stice
of 8rinces %8on those occasions$ <or instance, a cre, of 8irates
are driven by a storm they &no, not ,hither7 at length a boy
discovers land from the to8mast7 they go on shore to rob and
8l%nder, they see a harmless 8eo8le, are entertained ,ith &indness7
they give the co%ntry a ne, name7 they ta&e formal 8ossession of it
for their &ing7 they set %8 a rotten 8lan&, or a stone, for a
memorial7 they m%rder t,o or three doEen of the natives, bring a,ay
a co%8le more, by force, for a sam8le7 ret%rn home, and get their
8ardon$ -ere commences a ne, dominion ac9%ired ,ith a title by
divine right$ Shi8s are sent ,ith the first o88ort%nity7 the
natives driven o%t or destroyed7 their 8rinces tort%red to discover
their gold7 a free license given to all acts of inh%manity and
l%st, the earth ree&ing ,ith the blood of its inhabitantsA and
this execrable cre, of b%tchers, em8loyed in so 8io%s an
ex8edition, is a modern colony, sent to convert and civiliEe an
idolatro%s and barbaro%s 8eo8leM
B%t this descri8tion, 1 confess, does by no means affect the
British nation, ,ho may be an exam8le to the ,hole ,orld for their
,isdom, care, and ?%stice in 8lanting colonies7 their liberal
endo,ments for the advancement of religion and learning7 their
choice of devo%t and able 8astors to 8ro8agate :hristianity7 their
ca%tion in stoc&ing their 8rovinces ,ith 8eo8le of sober lives and
conversations from this the mother &ingdom7 their strict regard to
the distrib%tion of ?%stice, in s%88lying the civil administration
thro%gh all their colonies ,ith officers of the greatest abilities,
%tter strangers to corr%8tion7 and, to cro,n all, by sending the
most vigilant and virt%o%s governors, ,ho have no other vie,s than
the ha88iness of the 8eo8le over ,hom they 8reside, and the hono%r
of the &ing their master$
B%t as those co%ntries ,hich 1 have described do not a88ear to have
any desire of being con9%ered and enslaved, m%rdered or driven o%t
by colonies, nor abo%nd either in gold, silver, s%gar, or tobacco,
1 did h%mbly conceive, they ,ere by no means 8ro8er ob?ects of o%r
Eeal, o%r valo%r, or o%r interest$ -o,ever, if those ,hom it more
concerns thin& fit to be of another o8inion, 1 am ready to de8ose,
,hen 1 shall be la,f%lly called, that no .%ro8ean did ever visit
those co%ntries before me$ 1 mean, if the inhabitants o%ght to be
believed, %nless a dis8%te may arise concerning the t,o ;ahoos,
said to have been seen many years ago %8on a mo%ntain in
B%t, as to the formality of ta&ing 8ossession in my sovereign's
name, it never came once into my tho%ghts7 and if it had, yet, as
my affairs then stood, 1 sho%ld 8erha8s, in 8oint of 8r%dence and
selfF8reservation, have 8%t it off to a better o88ort%nity$
-aving th%s ans,ered the only ob?ection that can ever be raised
against me as a traveller, 1 here ta&e a final leave of all my
co%rteo%s readers, and ret%rn to en?oy my o,n s8ec%lations in my
little garden at (edriff7 to a88ly those excellent lessons of
virt%e ,hich 1 learned among the -o%yhnhnms7 to instr%ct the ;ahoos
of my o,n family, is far as 1 shall find them docible animals7 to
behold my fig%re often in a glass, and th%s, if 8ossible, habit%ate
myself by time to tolerate the sight of a h%man creat%re7 to lament
the br%tality to -o%yhnhnms in my o,n co%ntry, b%t al,ays treat
their 8ersons ,ith res8ect, for the sa&e of my noble master, his
family, his friends, and the ,hole -o%yhnhnm race, ,hom these of
o%rs have the hono%r to resemble in all their lineaments, ho,ever
their intellect%als came to degenerate$
1 began last ,ee& to 8ermit my ,ife to sit at dinner ,ith me, at
the farthest end of a long table7 and to ans,er Bb%t ,ith the
%tmost brevityC the fe, 9%estions 1 as&ed her$ ;et, the smell of a
;ahoo contin%ing very offensive, 1 al,ays &ee8 my nose ,ell sto88ed
,ith r%e, lavender, or tobacco leaves$ 3nd, altho%gh it be hard
for a man late in life to remove old habits, 1 am not altogether
o%t of ho8es, in some time, to s%ffer a neighbo%r ;ahoo in my
com8any, ,itho%t the a88rehensions 1 am yet %nder of his teeth or
his cla,s$
6y reconcilement to the ;ahoo &ind in general might not be so
diffic%lt, if they ,o%ld be content ,ith those vices and follies
only ,hich nat%re has entitled them to$ 1 am not in the least
8rovo&ed at the sight of a la,yer, a 8ic&8oc&et, a colonel, a fool,
a lord, a gamester, a 8olitician, a ,horemonger, a 8hysician, an
evidence, a s%borner, an attorney, a traitor, or the li&e7 this is
all according to the d%e co%rse of thingsA b%t ,hen 1 behold a
l%m8 of deformity and diseases, both in body and mind, smitten ,ith
8ride, it immediately brea&s all the meas%res of my 8atience7
neither shall 1 be ever able to com8rehend ho, s%ch an animal, and
s%ch a vice, co%ld tally together$ The ,ise and virt%o%s
-o%yhnhnms, ,ho abo%nd in all excellences that can adorn a rational
creat%re, have no name for this vice in their lang%age, ,hich has
no terms to ex8ress any thing that is evil, exce8t those ,hereby
they describe the detestable 9%alities of their ;ahoos, among ,hich
they ,ere not able to disting%ish this of 8ride, for ,ant of
thoro%ghly %nderstanding h%man nat%re, as it sho,s itself in other
co%ntries ,here that animal 8resides$ B%t 1, ,ho had more
ex8erience, co%ld 8lainly observe some r%diments of it among the
,ild ;ahoos$
B%t the -o%yhnhnms, ,ho live %nder the government of reason, are no
more 8ro%d of the good 9%alities they 8ossess, than 1 sho%ld be for
not ,anting a leg or an arm7 ,hich no man in his ,its ,o%ld boast
of, altho%gh he m%st be miserable ,itho%t them$ 1 d,ell the longer
%8on this s%b?ect from the desire 1 have to ma&e the society of an
.nglish ;ahoo by any means not ins%88ortable7 and therefore 1 here
entreat those ,ho have any tinct%re of this abs%rd vice, that they
,ill not 8res%me to come in my sight$
J1K 3 stang is a 8ole or 8erch7 sixteen feet and a half$
J2K 3n act of 8arliament has been since 8assed by ,hich some
breaches of tr%st have been made ca8ital$
JHK Britannia$FFSir *$ Scott$
J"K 0ondon$FFSir *$ Scott$
JIK This is the revised text ado8ted by Dr$ -a,&s,orth B1!GGC$
The above 8aragra8h in the original editions B1!2GC ta&es another
form, commencingAF >1 told him that sho%ld 1 ha88en to live in a
&ingdom ,here lots ,ere in vog%e,> Oc$ The names Tribnia and
0angdon an not mentioned, and the >close stool> and its
signification do not occ%r$
JGK This 8aragra8h is not in the original editions$
J!K The original editions and -a,&s,orth's have (otherhith here,
tho%gh earlier in the ,or&, (edriff is said to have been G%lliver's
home in .ngland$
PPP .)D 2< T-. P(2+.:T G/T.)B.(G .B22L, G/001=.('S T(3=.0S PPP
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The Pro?ect G%tenberg .Boo& of G%lliver's Travels, by +onathan S,ift
BY2 in o%r series by +onathan S,iftC
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TitleA G%lliver's Travels
3%thorA +onathan S,ift
(elease DateA <ebr%ary, 199! 4.Boo& Y8295
4This file ,as first 8osted on <ebr%ary 2, 199!5
46ost recently %8datedA 6ay 29, 225
.ditionA 1
0ang%ageA .nglish
:haracter set encodingA 3S:11

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