com™--Dedicated to the Alpha Female Perspective

TABLE OF CONTENTS Introduction How To Be An Alpha Female

Tip #1

Use What Ya Got

Tip #2

Girl, Take The Wheel!

Tip #3

A Friend to Many, But Few Are

Tip #4

Keep Friends Near, Enemies Closer

Tip #5

Unlike A Woman

Tip #6

Hello, World!

Tip #7

He Loves Me, I Love Me More

Tip #8

Gal Friday No, Gal Paid Yes

Tip #9

The Bitch Is Dead

Tip #10

Shine In The Dark

Resources Page

Cultivating Your Inner Alphanista™

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Books by Author Maryann Reid

INTRODUCTION Unlike the Alpha-Male who has extensive studies on his conduct and behavior, the research on this peculiar type of woman is still limited. I know it well, because I wear it well. Always tried to subdue it, but I’ve surrendered. So, I made a list. An AF is a quintessential woman. She’s me. All of the major female characters in my novels are an embodiment of the AF. There is none like her, just like her counterpart the Alpha Male. Though they are many Alpha males and men who want to be like him, there are few genuine alpha females. Not too many women want to be like her, because they want to be liked by other women. Alpha females are way beyond that. She doesn’t get her identity from other women, but one she alone defines. Both Alphas can be found in nature among the animal kind. Check out the wolves. Study wolf-pack behavior. The AF is unique in that she’s not a bitch, she’s not a saint, she just wins. An alpha female is usually born, but you can become an Alphanista™, a self-made alpha female. You can learn how to use them alpha traits to your advantage. But first, you have to know what being an alpha female is all about. An Alpha-Female (AF) is: 1. A woman unafraid to use, and sometimes, exploit her femininity to get her way with men or seal a business deal

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2. A woman who is completely in control of her destiny 3. Usually a loner, has a “clique” or a pack when ready, but alpha females are cave dwellers and truly blossom when with their complementary half, an Alpha Male. She is dominant over all men and women, except her Alpha male (alpha females eat Beta men for breakfast, by the way) 4. Ruthless, more so than a man, because you never see it coming, she’ll smile, then cut ‘ya 5. A woman who cannot be categorized, and will always rise above the stereotype of being “female” or rise above a group; in fact she doesn’t even think she is a “woman” for she is embarrassed to the level many have succumbed to by their emotional recklessness; Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once said, “Don’t ask me about being a woman” and she had no female members in her cabinet 6. You immediately know when an AF walks in the room; enters at the same status as the leaders in the room, she glides in; close mouthed smile, eyes canvassing everything for the big swoop down 7. She is full of contradictions often keeping her male partner in a suspended state, not sure exactly what to do with her 8. Have a hard time at work because of their innate leadership skills and can ruffle the wrong feathers; eventually she manages to rise to the top because of her style and intellect

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9. She is not a bitch; and abhors the comparison because she revels in using her sweetness to get her way, not evil 10. She crushes her female competition to get the most wanted man in the room, in fact she revels in her power over men, in fact, men love her for it I say if there are 10 women in the room, only 1 is really an AF. The AF’s route in life is quite different from that of other women. She’s almost always successful on whatever she focuses on though she may not have gotten there as neat and tidy as everyone else. She has come a long way, and often feels misunderstood as cold, a bitch or a whore. For one of my strongest AF characters, check out my book, Mrs. Big who scores a major coup and changes her lifestyle on a dime. This little ebook will show you what an alpha female is all about. At the end there are useful resources that I selected, so that you can awaken the “alphanista” in you.

5™--Dedicated to the Alpha Female Perspective

Tip 1-An alpha female is unafraid to use, and sometimes, exploit her femininity to get her way with men or seal a business deal You know that woman on your job. She dresses to kill, hair is perfect, hips sway every time she walks, and is always smiling. The men love her, swarm her desk with “good mornings” and leave little candies in her pencil holder. If she’s the office secretary, she can usually get the mailroom guys to drop their copy jobs to do her stack of copies without a problem. If she’s the VP, she can get the President to fire somebody or give her the next promotion without a “review”. Or at least, not the one the little people have to get. Her review would most likely be over dinner, or, cozy lunch with the boss. When used wisely, feminine power can shake trees. It’s about being confident, knowing how to say things is more important than what you say. She doesn’t cry wolf, and could care less about sexual harassment suits. She doesn’t see any other reason why women wear 5 inch heels to work other than for a man, and doesn’t quite understand how other women become so easily offended when they capture a man’s fancy at work. An alpha-female believes she has what it takes, and is proud of her femininity and all it offers the world, for she sees herself as a gift to the world, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. She loves every bit of being a woman, not just a lady. It’s her choice to use her sexuality as she wishes to make her climb to the top more risky, adventurous, and fun. Do you have to be beautiful to get your way with men? No way. Again, it’s how you say things. It’s the confidence you wear, not how much you weigh. Men are the most

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gullible of creatures, and a woman who knows how to take care of them, will get very far–at home and at work.

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Tip 2-An alpha female is completely in control of her destiny It’s simple. Honor your yes’es and no’s in life. You ever met that woman who can’t make a decision without conferring with 3 or 4 other people? How about the one who decides to go out one night to a party, has an awful time, comes home, and beats herself up for going and wasting her time? Both of these scenarios are about being utterly confused and wasting valuable brain energy. I’ve been guilty of going out and regretting my decision later. Or not going out, and wish I did. It took a minute to see that it’s all fruitless. The more you keep second guessing yourself the more you see yourself going in circles. If you are the controller of your destiny (and not everyone believes this, my dears) then you have to act like it. No one wants to be in the passenger seat of a manic driver with no destination, or who stops people in the street every few miles for directions. So, I don’t care what it is. Cooking chicken or fish tonight? Just make a decision and stick to it. Believe you made it with the best intentions. Then let it go. Just let it go. But what you shouldn’t let go is your weight. An alpha-female is very conscious about her inner, and outer beauty. With all the diets and fitness plans available, there’s just no excuse. And no, you are not “big boned”. Do not finish this year without making some kind of definitive decision about your life and your appearance. You get all the diet plans in one, and you can take your time and see what works. An alpha-female is all about looking good and feeling good and is well within her healthy weight range–period.

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Tip 3-An alpha female is comfortable being alone. Alpha females are usually cave dwellers, but have a “clique” or a pack when ready, they truly blossom when with their complementary half, an alpha male. There are two kinds of alpha-females those who have friends and those who don’t. What they have in common is, when she’s ready for friends she can gather up the troops. She may lay low for months at a time, but a friend or wing-girl is just a phone call away. Being an alpha female with friends is tricky business. Most women (the betas) do not like alpha females, nor do they want to be alpha females. The reason for this is that most women want to be liked. Alpha females could really care less about this. They just want to win. They focus very little on what’s right or wrong, or how this is done, or how that is said. The clincher is many women do admire the alpha female from afar. They admire her spunk and carefree ways. They secretly desire to be as bold and confident as she is. But being around her may be a reminder of what they lack. Moreover, alpha females feel being around “civilian” ladies is too much of a drain. The indecision, the emotional reckless outbursts over a man. She just doesn’t have the time. But when it comes to her alpha male counterpart, she is all ears. He keeps the steam in her tea kettle. In the meantime, she finds community in her beta females, who admire her and who she can lead. Every woman could use a dose of this, learning how to be alone, but learning your role in the group. A true leader knows how to get people on their side, whether they need them or not. Just saying…

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Tip 4-An alpha female can be ruthless, more so than a man, because you never see it coming, she’ll smile, then cut ‘ya… Alpha female and Vogue magazine editrix Anna Wintour is known just as much for her infamous “aloof” and “detached” personality as she is for her infamous sunglasses that are just within millimeters of her reach in the above photo. An alpha female is not someone you want to cross. Being that she is unique, you won’t see her sweat or hear her cussing out anybody. She is calm, collected, but calculating. Emotional outbursts and neck twisting threats are not her thing. That is associated too much with typical female responses. She maintains her togetherness or poise as much and for as long as she can. She doesn’t believe in pay back, but she does believe in back pay. She will go to the ends of the earth if she has to and destroy you through fear or some other method that will surprise you. For instance, one woman I interviewed a few years back was a producer at a popular tv news magazine. She blocked the promotion of an alpha female in the office who was more than qualified. Eventually, the alpha female chick was fired, and not promoted. The woman in the office responsible for this was relieved that’s she no longer had to deal with her. Low and behold, 2 years later, she runs into the alpha female, who is the woman her husband left her for. She had no idea who the other woman was until then. The alpha female and the husband have been married for 10 years and going strong. It was calculated and it was planned. Please do not play. It worked, whether we agree with it or not.

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Of course, there are alpha females who may not go to these extreme measures, but an alpha female can be your greatest ally or worst enemy. She has a few enemies of her own and keeps them very close to her. In fact, she’ll smile in your face, and in the next scowl. She doesn’t go around fighting little battles. She actually lets lots of things slide. Alpha females are never about appealing to the masses. She doesn’t sugarcoat anything or try to be politically correct about her motives. She knows life hurts sometimes, and sometimes, we can’t all do it the right way. You would never find her busting out a man’s window or copping his identity and selling it to a man named Gustavo in Mexico for a few stacks. She would never do anything illegal, or at least avoid it as much as possible. But she may try another covert method or see Mama Clara up in the Blue Mountains of Jamaica to get some “advice” with a little “love spell.” She only fights the wars, as long and arduous as they may be. She isn’t about being right or wrong, but winning—all the time. If you’re an alpha female in a tough situation always weigh the rewards and against the consequences, calculate your efforts, then proceed with caution, and a smile.

11™--Dedicated to the Alpha Female Perspective

Tip 5-An alpha female cannot be categorized, and will always rise above the stereotype of being a “woman” or rise above a group; in fact she doesn’t even think she is a “woman” for she is embarrassed to the level many have succumbed to by their emotional recklessness; Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher once said, “Don’t ask me about being a woman” and she had no female members in her Cabinet. When I read that about Thatcher, I was surprised, but then again I could totally relate. But let’s be clear on all this. The alpha female has no problems with being female. She only debunks all the stereotypes of what is typically a woman. Her behavior is not predictable. In fact, she laughs at other women who succumb to every emotion and desire that makes them toss all logical and rationale out the window. Very easily offended, distracted, depressed, unreasonable, unsure, jealous, insecure, should I go on? Some even react in an illogical manner that is too far away from anything rationale. Thatcher also once said, “I owe nothing to women’s lib.” Women’s lib is the so-called “feminist movement”. I’m sure she respected those lovely ladies for all of their hard work, but alphas believe their very own self has carved their journey. She didn’t use the advantages of being a “feminist” to scare, derail, or manipulate others to her point of view and definitely not to scare men into hiring or agreeing with her. In fact, a little pleasure mixed with business never hurts her. The alpha female is on a track that she’s laid down, almost always a path less traveled. Oscar winning actress Angelina Jolie is not liked by most women according to most magazine surveys like US weekly, but these same surveys say that over half of women want to be her.

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What also makes the alpha female rise above being “just a woman” is that she is not concerned with being liked by other women. Many women will tell you that isn’t important to them when in fact it is. Many women do not like alpha females. However, it is this need to be liked by other women that keeps them from moving forward because they are loyal to the group. The alpha female believes she is dominant, whereas the group remains at the same level as the others. The alpha female creates her own group, if she sees fit, and they beckon for her to like them.

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Tip 6-Anyone immediately know when an alpha female walks in the room; enters at the same status as the leaders in the room, she glides in; close mouthed smile, eyes canvassing everything for the big swoop down This is so important and I’m going to tell you why. If you enter rooms in any other way people are going to wonder why you’re even there. You can tell a lot about a person by how they walk into a room. It shows you how they see the world: either as a friendly place or a dangerous, cautious place. They either walk in and their energy says “Hello World!” or “Hello, World?” Picture yourself. In a room, and an alpha female walks in and does what she does above. She believes the world is kind, receptive, and full of happy surprises. She automatically feels liked. Your first thought is “Who is that? She must be one of the speakers or something.” You may hate her or love her, but that’s not the point. She got noticed. In her world, what’s the point of going out if you’re going to be invisible. Might as well stay home alone for that one. Then there’s the next chick. She thinks the world is unfriendly, and most likely her experiences with people prove her right. She’s the one who walks in like a mouse. Quiet, slow, finds a seat in the back. People wonder why the hell she come for, another one taking up space. Nothing annoys me more than to see a mouse walk in the room. Nobody likes mice. Of course there are instances, where I know no one and want to blend in the back, I make my rounds and move on. No need to linger around some place where no goals can be accomplished. And as an alpha, your whole point for being there is because you want to get something done, from fun to a new position. Because of the alpha view that the world is friendly and giving, she receives a

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lot. People want to get to know her, while the mouse mopes around the room shooting evil glances. If you’re a mouse, here are a couple of tips to walk in the room: 1. Arrive early if you can. Myth is arriving late is fashionable, but it’s always predictable. About 65% of people arrive late. You, hon, will arrive early or ontime. That is the best way to get the fresh pickins, while everyone is curious, engaged, and peppy. 2. Smile, and always talk to the host first. People will believe you know them. 3. Don’t be loud, be more of an observer, the silence you show will make people curious. When you have something to say make sure it’s different, ambitious, and has to piss at least one person off in the room. Remember, you want them talking about you when you leave. As I said, if not you were invisible. Most people walking around are. Not trying to quip, just being real. It doesn’t matter who you see, it’s who sees you, really sees you.

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Tip 7-“An alpha female is full of contradictions often keeping her male partner in a suspended state, not sure exactly what to do with her…”

A man will never forget an alpha female. There’s usually that one man or woman in our life, okay sometimes two or three that stand out from the rest. Rest assured that if you’re an alpha female, you may be the bar he’s holding other women up against. You may be the prototype those poor, other unassuming females have to compete with. You’re the proverbial phantom in the relationship that never seems to go away. One of the reasons is that, though the alpha female is well put together and straightforward, and a very reasonable woman, a man may never really know if she’s coming in through the front door or the back.

One week it may be hot with an alpha female—phone calls, bubbly, dining, soft whispers, giggly moments on the phone together, then the next week she is gone— doesn’t return phone calls, disappears for a few days, is elusive, reserved. It’s all something that may be planned or not. But she’ll usually keep an air of mystery, until she finds her compatible alpha male. In the meantime, she will keep men in suspended states. Oftentimes, this may cost her a few good ones along the way. Why is she like this? Because she can’t completely be herself until she can see her future in this man’s eyes. It may be a life long quest, but until that magnificent feeling, it’s all up for review. On another note: Beta men don’t quite have a handle on the alpha female and quickly take any form of distance as a sign of rejection. This is a red flag for an alpha female.

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Beta men are easily offended, move on quickly, because theirs is a numbers game. They are not the top pick among women so their egos are softer and they need to go through more women to find the right one. Where as the alpha male who is the top pick, finds his alpha females more of a challenge, a woman to be conquered. He may not react right away, and spend time with betas, but eventually he’ll make his way back to her. He has more women around him to choose from, and because of his need to sire alpha children he will choose his alpha female counterpart if she’s available (unfortunately, she usually isn’t because her numbers are few) to mate with. These unions usually create something spectacular in way of legacy and alpha progeny. Now, he can move on, but an alpha female won’t let him get away that easily, especially if he’s of high net worth status. or social

It’s so much easier to have our way with beta men. Until we meet our alpha male, and some of us are married to him, that is when we can be our true selves. As I said, something about an alpha male, when I see him, I walk differently, and I am like the soft petals of a rose around him—light, calm and relaxed. I fall right into my lane. But if an alpha female has zoned in on an alpha male, be careful. She’s very persistent in making her presence known. She knows what she wants. She won’t stop until he catches her.

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Tip 8-“An alpha female may have a hard time at work because of her innate leadership skills and can ruffle the wrong feathers; she manages to rise to the top because of her style and intellect.” An alpha female at work can be two things: she can be the best person you’ve ever worked with and the worst, or even be both at the same time. Most people cruise through their ordinary jobs with “go along to get along” in mind. They like their jobs for the most part, the people they work with, and pretty much want to keep things the same. Some are even so compliant and set in their ways that they don’t even want to be promoted, they are “just fine” with their initialed coffee mug and pinned up photos on their desks. If you know a woman in this crew, she’s also the one who knows everybody, talks about everyone, and eats lunch with the same 2-3 people everyday. On the outskirts of all this mediocrity is the alpha female. You may have met her. She’s usually the one whose job title actually outweighs her qualifications. Alphas find themselves in top, hi profile positions suddenly, overnight, with a resume that doesn’t quite make sense of it all. For instance, she may have been a model w/no college education, but she’s running a multimillion dollar fashion empire because of her “relationships”. When she’s at a regular job, she’s polite, does her work, and goes through her own motions, but still has a motive. She under promises and over delivers and knows this is the way to intrigue the higher ups. She’s not partial to hanging with any particular crew at the job and will create her own. She doesn’t see the workplace as a place to “work”, but a place to plan her next move. She may piss people off and get

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“fired” because she has her own mind that believes her way is the best. She actually believes she is smarter than the boss and sometimes acts that way, getting her in some hot water here and there. She may also be the subject of whispers on the job because of how she dresses, talks, or acts. She’s sharp, intelligent and calculating. She stands out. Make no bones about it. She’s prone to using her wit, intelligence, and feminine assets to get noticed, too. Flirting can be a weapon. Former British Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher wasn’t the most beautiful woman but she was witty and loved flirting with reporters, according to reports. This disarmed them and made her a media darling. Others take it further. Most alpha females don’t think sleeping with the boss is always a bad thing, but can be a two-way street if two are in mutual agreement. In her world, there’s always more than one way to get something done. To her, it is every woman for herself. Thatcher once said, “I owe nothing to women’s lib.” For the alpha female at work, it’s always about her, for she believes the more greatness she can acquire, the more greatness she can produce, and the more great her underlings can become.

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Tip 9- “An alpha female is not a bitch; and abhors the comparison because she revels in using her sweetness to get her way, not evil…” A common misconception about the alpha female is that she’s an evil bitch. It couldn’t be more wrong. A bitch is just a bitch, a very bitter, miserable woman who thinks it’s cute to be mad at everything. She has no clear objective, targets or strategies. It’s all about how she’s “feeling” and roller cycle emotions. An alpha female doesn’t like bitches. For instance, Martha Stewart is mistakenly described as a bitch, when she is really an alpha female disarming the world by baking cookies. Actually, if an alpha female’s your boss expect her to fire the department on Friday, and bring a basket of fresh baked cupcakes (that she made herself, thank you) to the rest her underlings urgently waiting for arrival. They’ll eat and be thankful that she spared them, and fed them! The major difference between the bitch and the alpha female is that the alpha female believes in catching bees with honey while the bitch catches bees with poo poo. Let’s look at two examples. The first is a bitch who is in a relationship with a man who treats her badly and ignores her most of her needs. The bitch would run him down demanding all kinds of excuses for his actions, threatening him with leaving every two weeks, and bad mouths him to family and friends with hopes that the pressure will break him down to be a better man. Whew, now that’s a lot of useless work.

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An alpha female in the same situation may explore a few different options tailored to her man’s temperament. But to keep things simple, now hold on to your tiaras ladies, she may actually not give a damn. True her feelings may be hurt, but she realizes the responsibility to change can only be within her. She won’t demand him to explain his actions because she knows most people will only play defensive to protect themselves. She doesn’t threaten to leave because once she does that, it’s a wrap. This is one woman when it’s over, it’s over for good. She doesn’t bad mouth him to others because it will only make her look as crazy as he is for staying. Her self image is very important because she knows most of what you get in life is by how others perceive you. Her word is her bond too. She doesn’t like playing with them. Bad mouthing him only adds more nails to the coffin of the relationship because words become reality. What she does is simply change how she sees the relationship. It may have started as Mr. Right, but he has turned into Mr. Right Now. She’ll pursue other interests, maybe even other men on a casual basis, and provide even more space in the relationship until he realizes there’s almost none left. In between this, she’ll make efforts to communicate, but she will not withhold sex or play any other kinds of games. She’s simply changing her perspective. If this is not the man for her, she has to keep it moving (we will discuss how to deal with men of high net worth next time because it’s a tad bit different). Running a man down is not something she’s good at. As she runs him down, she may end up pushing him in front of a car. Her main concern is her own sanity and her direction in life. She loves her man, but she loves herself a little bit more.

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Tip 10-“An alpha female crushes her female competition to get the most wanted man in the room, in fact she revels in her power over men, in fact, men love her for it…” This tip right here can go so many different ways. Sigh. First let me clarify why an alpha would need to do this: She doesn’t like competition. Now, it gives her an indication of what level’s she’s at, but when it comes to a man, she has to be the top. She will also do whatever she can to sway other women and distract them until she slips further and further into his life. The alpha female understands that sometimes men need direction. They won’t always know that you were made for him. Please, do not take this to mean that you should go out there and direct that riff raff you’ve been chasing. No, this is only for the, oh gosh, I don’t even know if ya’ll ready. But here it goes: Money men. These men are few in numbers. The chances you’ll run into one at Starbucks is like . 001. The chances you’ll meet one at a high net worth charity event is like 50%. The chances you’ll meet one at a private function hosted by one is 75%. Do we see a pattern here? So, the competition is pretty tough to the average girl. But for the alpha female she’s sees everything as a possibility. A woman like her could very well meet him at Starbucks and be the envy of her friends for generations. Now, who wouldn’t like that? The alpha female differentiates herself. While the other women are approaching this man she will stay to the side. While they walk around the room to be noticed she’ll be inching closer to him by standing still. She had already practiced remote viewing earlier in the

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evening. She’ll use that to tune into this man from afar. [Definitely worth looking up if you don't know] Next, while the other women are parading themselves, hoping he’ll talk to them or have their cell phones out in case he decides to ask for their number, she’ll slip him a business card. In fact, she may not even say a word to him that night. With the eye contact and remote viewing she did earlier will all make it easier for him to notice her. While she’s keeping an eye on him, she’ll also watch his habits and gestures. She’ll start mimicking those to initiate bonding. For instance, I was at an event like this years ago, when I noticed one of my girl friends kept playing with her ear. We were in close proximity to the very desirable host of the event. She told me she’s doing it because XYZ does it every time he talks. He was in a good clear eye shot of her so they exchanged several glances. Don’t you know, that he came up to her and asked her if they were related and bought up the ear habit? Funny, but true. They dated for a while. He felt instantly bonded. Another unique thing about the alpha female is that men treat her differently and love being around her. They get a boost from her because she knows how to be around men. She can get away with being called lots of nasty things. Men usually call her “interesting”. So, there. This is the final alpha female tip until further notice. All the tips will be available in a FREE ebook with extra information to help the “Alphanista™” growing in you. I also don’t expect you to understand and agree with all the tips, but broaden your options to more than 1 way of doing something. Remember if you’re doing something right all the time, and you are still stuck, you ain’t right.

23™--Dedicated to the Alpha Female Perspective


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