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SMS Jokes
1 Aey mere SMS mere dost ke pass jana, agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana, jab wo jag jaye to dhere se muskurana, fhir kehna ‘kanjus’ SMS kar. 2 Hum na hote to gazal kaun kheta, Aap ke chehere ko kamal kaun kheta, Yeh to karishma hai mahobbat ka, varna pathar ko taj mahal kaun kheta . 3 Jab tota hua dirty to tote se boli maina don’t u worry serf excel hai na. 4 U to ham kisi ka pichacha nahi karte, dared dil liya aur diya nahi karte, Ittefak se yeh dosti hai tumse, varna itni kimti SMS kisi ko kiya nahi karte. 5 Bekabu hai dil fhir bhi jiya jar aha hu, Khali hai botal fhir bhi piye jar aha hu, Majburi to dheko iss dil ki, fhir bhi SMS kiye jar aha hu. 6 Aansu tere nikle to anke meri ho , Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho , khuda kare ki dosti hamare itni gehri ho , ki naukri tum karo aur pagar meri ho.

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7 Aapko miss karna roz ki baat hai , Yad karna aadat ki baat hai , Aapse dur rehna kismet ki baat hai , magar aapko zelna himmat ki baat hai. 8 Mulk ki bhi ek sarhad hoti hai , Bachach ki bhi ek zid hoti hai , Aur kitna intzaar karu tere SMS ka Are yar kanjusi ki bhi ek had hoti hai. 9 Pyaar ke gum ko aise na piyo , Ki aadha piya aur addha chodd diya , Yaro yeh pyaar hai nahi koi vim bar hai , jo thoda sa lagaya aur ho gaya. 10 Machchar ne jo kata to dil mein ek junun tha , Kujli itni hui ki dil besukun tha , pakda to chod diya yeh soch kar , sale ki ragoan mien aapna hi koon tha. 11 Train ruki, kidki khuli, nazeren mili, usne kaha - chai - chai garam chai. 12 Gandhi jib hi gujar gaye , Nehru jib hi nahi rahe , meri tabiyat bhi thik nahi pata nahi iss desh ka kya hoga. 13 Yeh tera chehra hai yaa kela ka chilka , jo dekta hai phisal jata hai.

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14 Dukaan mein main gaya tha lene kismebar , per dhekha jo dukaan wali ko to bola kisme bar bar. 15 Apple kata huin knife se, panni pita huin pipe se , kya zamana aa gaya , jote kata huin wife se. 16 Tum kya jano ki gam kya hai, gum wo cheez hai jisse kagaz chipkaya jata hai. 17 Na botal mein na jar mein na hotel mein na bar mein na bike pen a kar mein aapke ke SMS ke intzaar mein . 18 Shaam hoti hai dil udas hota hai , tumhari yad aise waqt aati hai jab koi Bandar aas pass hota hai . 19 Khuda ki mehfil se kuch gadhe bagh gaye , kuck pakde gaye baki sab mere yar ho gaye. 20 Agar aapko raat ki tanhai mein koi tang kare , agar aapko karwate badalne pe majboor kare , chupke se kan mein sargoshi kare , agar gal chum le to ALL OUT lagao machchar bagao.

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21 Socha tha har mod per aapko yad karenge , per kya kare kambouqt sadak hi sidhi nikli . 22 Aahat se koi aye to lagta hai kit um ho , hawa koi laherai to lagta hai kit um ho , ab tumhi batao kyat um kisi BHOOT se kum ho . 23 Kya bindas hawa chal rahi hai , bird gana ga rahi hai , cow log grass kha rahi hai , shanne log SMS kar rahe hain , aur dhakkan log SMS pad rahe hain . 24 Itna khubsurat kaise muskura lete ho , itna qatil kaise sharma lete ho , kisi ne sikhaya hai ya bachpan se hi kamine ho ? 25 Superman dushmano se lad raha hai , batman raat mein ghoom raha hai , spiderman diwaro pe chad raha hai , aur daburman SMS padh raha hai . 26 Ikntiyarre tabbasum, ki lau ko, tarranume namayish, se agha dena, jo iska matlab samaj mein aye to mujhe bhi bata dena. 27 Jab kutte ki maut aati hai to …………… ………………………………………

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…………………………… kutta mar jata hai. 28 count the number of stars to fulfill your wishes. * * * * * * * * ** * * * * * ** ** * * * * * * * * * * ** pagal ho kya ? din mein tare ginte ho . 29 boss is always right so , don’t argue with your boss. Because argueing with your boss is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After a while when you become dirty. The boss is actually enjoying it. 30 Heaven is when you have a german car, American salary, Chinese food and Indian wife. Hell is when car is Chinese, wife is American and salary is Indian. 31 Test your maths. Read only once. OK +2+7 +9 -5 +4 +8 -2 +5 -4 +12 -8 +2

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The question - How many times did you press the down button. 32 Good night, Sleep tight, Sweet dreams. *!*!* for how long you will press the button ! Ab lori bhi sunaye kya. 33 Lost all my hair !!!!!! Waiting for your reply . 34 In your brain you hemispheres, right and left. In right nothing is left and in left nothing is right. 35 Dil mein ek shor sa ho raha hai ! bina SMS ke dil bore sa ho raha hai ! Kahin aisa to nahi ki koi pyara sa mujhe bhool raha hai. 36 Two people have taken your address from me. They are joy and happiness. They will be in touch with you whole of the year. 37 If you loose my phone number SMS me and ask. 38 I like three things about you. 1 ……………………………..

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2 …………………………….. 3 …………………………….. Yar zindagi mein kuch to acha kiya hota. 39 Kya apke sir pe siengh hain. Check it . no. koi bat nahi gadhon ke sir pe siengh nahi hote. 40 Shyer ki gali mein pan ki dukaan. Devdas ne khilaya paro ko pan. Pan kha ke paro boli , Meherban , Kadardan , Shukriya bhaijan. 41 Namaskar mein aisa Msg. hoon jise murkh log padte hain. Nalayak log dusro ko forward karte hain. Gadhe delete karte hain. Pagal store kar lete hain. Ab aap kya karoge. 42 Agar tum intelligent ho to is sawal ka jawab yes or no mein de ke batao. Kya aapko pagalpan ke daure panda band ho gaye. 43 Reliance office is my temple. Mobile is my god. SMS is my aim. Sheetanshu is my name.

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44 If you feel lonely press 09. If you feel upset press 33. Want happiness press 622. Want encouragement press 50. Worried press 37. Press them all once - 09336225037 . 45 Habit never goes. If you remove H,A bit remains. If you remove A..bit remains. You remove B it still remains. So my habbit of messaging you never goes. 46 Roses are red * ……… * Violets are blue * ………… * Monkeys like you should be kept in the zoo !!!! Don’t feel alone or worried ill be there but laughing at you. 47 Kamosh the hum to magrur samajh liya. Chup hain hum to majboor samajh liya. 48 Close your eyes ……………………………… ………………………. ………………………………………...……...………… ………………. …………………….. Eddied how you will read. 49 What do you mean by an autograph? … ……………………………….. You live in my heart like a photograph.

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50 Santa ke piche kutta padh gaya. Santa bole network to airtel ka liya tha hutch ka kahan se lag gaya. 51 Hamne kidki se dhekha to sadak pe koi nahin tha. Hamne khidki se dhekha to sadak pe koi nahin tha. Hamne sadak se dhekha to khidki pe koi nahin tha. 52 Good morning! ! have a nice day ! ! For how long you will press the button Ab breakfast bhi laye kya? 53Phehla : Guess mujhme aur abdul kalam azad mein kya similarity hai? Doosra : Pata nahi Phehla : arey so simple ! main unke ghar nahi jaata aur wo mere ghar nahi aate. 54 Man’s biography b4 marriage is likeAIRTEL , aisi aazadi aur kahan. He marriages thinking an IDEA can change his life. After that it’s HUTCH , where ever you go your network follows.

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55 Kahe school javat hai, Kahe karat padhai, Number utne hi avat hain, Jitne ki chit banai. 56 Samundar bhar syllabus, Nadia bhar padh paate hain, Balti bhar yad rehta hai, Magha bhar likh paate hain, Chullu bhar number aate hain, Chalo doobkar mar jaate hain. 57 If you need advice, text me... ....................... If you need a friend, call me ............................. If you need me, come to me .............................. If you need money ............................................. The subscriber cannot be reached. 58 If a vegetarian eat vegetables , what does a humanitarian eat ? 59 If teacher’s taught , why didn’t preachers praught. 60 apun dono ka dosti ekdam jakkas hona mangta hai. Jakkas bole to apun HAAR to MOTI.

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Apun SABJI tu ROTI. Apun PANI tu TANKI. Apun TARZAN tu MONKEY. 61 Botal chhupa do kafan mein, Kabar mein piya karonga, Jab mangega hisab khuda to peg bana ke diya karunga. 62 HINDI TEACHER ASKS : Kaal kitne prakar ke hote hain. ANSWER : Local kaal , STD kaal , Trunk kaal , ISD kaal Sasria kaal. 63 Swooer ke bachche Kutte ke pille Gadhe ki aulad Bhains ke bachde Bakri ke mamne SAB KITNE CHOTE - CHOTE , PYARRE PYAREE HOTE HAIN. 64 U tell a man something, it goes in from one ear and comes out from another ear. U tell a women something it goes in both the ears and comes out from mouth. 65 Look at ocean and see God’s abundance

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Look at the sky and God’s glory Look at the moon and see God’s wonder Look at the mirror and see God’s Blunder. 66 A happy boss tells his employees : You worked very hard this year. As a reward I will give everyone a check of Rs. 5000. If you work with the same zeal next year, I will sign those checks. 67 EYES : to look at you. HANDS : to pray for you. MIND : to care for you. HEART : to love you. LEGS : to kick you if you forget me. 68 Sometimes my mind asks : Why I miss you!Why I care for you!Why I remember you. Then my heart answers : Because a mental patient needs more care. 69 Wife : Years ago I had a figure like a coke bottle. Husband : Only difference is earlier it was 300 ml now it’s 1.5 l. 70 Wife : I wish I was a newspaper, so I had been in your hands all day.

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Husband : I too wish you were a newspaper, so I could have a new one everyday. 71 Pita : Beta tum bade hokar mera naam kaise roshan karoge? Beta : Aap ki name plate pe bulb lagaker . 72 Life is full of - SORROW , MISERY , PAIN but if ou fall down stand up be confident and say - KISNE DHAKHA MARA BE. 73 Santa went to a flag shop and said to the shopkeeper INDIA ka flag dikhao. When shopkeeper showed the flag he said - Isme koi dusra colour nahi hai. 74 Butia haveli ki tuti deewar ke piche tangi hui tedi murti ke piche chipki hui chipkali ki kati hui punch mein lage hua bacteria ki kasam - YOU ARE MY BEST FRIEND. 75 FOOL ne FOOL ko dhekha . magar tumse bada FOOL nahi dhekha. 76 Santa ne kaha kuch halka sa, kuch namkeen sa kaho. Banta bole DHOKLA.

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77 Sab khahete hain kitni lazzez hai KHICDI. Hum khahete hain kitni azzez hai KHICDI. Unko kya pata kya cheez hai KHICDI. 78 Santa Singh and Banta Singh went to a beach. Santa asked = ISE BEACH KYON KAHETE HAIN ? Banta answered = KYON KI YEH AASMAN AUR ZAMEEN KE BEACH MEIN HAI. 79 American said hamare yahan shadi EMAIL se bhi hoti hai. Indian said hamare yahan to female se hoti hai. 80 If you don’t like any of my SMS and don’t like to read it, then please don’t hesitate , feel free to . . . . . . . . throw your mobile. 81 I have written nice poem for you. Twinkle twinkle little star.... You should what you are.... and once you know what you are.... Mental hospital is not so far. 82 Scientists all over the world are wondering how long a human being can live without a brain.... Kindly tell me your age....

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83 A reasent studdi haz shon dat people who are werry samaarat end gudd lukeeng mak manee spallings mistakes.... Vatt iz yorr opeeneum. 84 God thought that sinse he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother. Then devil thought that he couldn.t be everywhere he made mother - in - law. 85 Little birdy in the sky, you look up and it shits in your eye. You don’t mind and you don’t cry, you just thanks god that cows don’t fly. 86 What happened to your network ? I tried to call you but the operator said “ Welcome to the jungle, the monkey you are trying to call is on the tree ........... please try later ” 87 God made coke. God made pepsi. God made rivers. God made lakes. God made you, well everybody makes mistakes. 88 Zindagi ek azjib peheli hai. ? ? ?

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? ? ? ? ? ? Keypad dabane se solve nahin hogi. 89 Frog : Sardar ko dimag hota hai? Sardar : Hota hai. Frog : Nahi hota. Sardar : Hota hai. Frog : Nahin hota and jumps into the well. Sardar : Isme suicide karne ki kya baat thi ??????? 90 Try this out this is fun, go to msg. select wright msg.again select options and go to dictionary and activate englishand type this 4026*0203665042042 ( Nokia ) . 91 Jaise lohe ko loha kathta hai Sone ko sona kathta hai Zaher ko zeher kathta hai Heere ko heera kathta hai Waise hi Tumhe ek din kutta katega.

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92 Kutta pakadne ki municipality van udhar hi kahin ghoom rahi hai, sambhal ke rehna. 93 Lal gulabi rang hai, jhoom raha sansar, suraj ki kirne, khusiyon ki bahar, chand ki chandni, apno ko pyaar, aisa ho apka holi ka tyohar. 94 A sardar dials a number and a girl receives his call. SARDAR : Who is this? GIRL : Main Geeta. SARDAR : Main Guru Granth Sahib. 95 Ek sardar, bachpan se hi heraan, paresan tha aur full tension mei ye soch kar ghum raha tha ki “ Meri behen ke do bhai phir mera ek hi bhai kyo? 96 To live a life one needs Brain, IQ, Knowledge, Way of expression and many more qualities. Tumhe salaam boss ! You are doing great without these !!!! 97 Santa - paji , tune bangle bada bhadiya banaya hai. Lekin bathroom mein bath tub bahut chota hai.

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Banta - oye tu fhir se flush mein naha aya. 98 Dil armano se house ful hai, Pure honge ya nahi yeh doubt ful hai, Is duniya mein har cheez won ful hai, Per zindagi aap jaise logon se ful hai. 99 What’s the difference between pleasure and torture? Pleasure is thinking of you and torture is thinking of you too much. 100 Hi ! Need one gal 2 marry …. Age no bar, Colour no bar, Height no bar, Caste no bar, but gal’s father must have his own bar ……. CHEERS . 101 A resent studdi haz shon dat peepal hoo aar vary samaart and gud lukeeng maik manee spallings meestaikes …… vaat ees yorr opeeniun. 102 Be careful when a guy tells you that he loves you from the bottom of his heart for this may mean that there’s still enough space for another girl on top. 103 The best gift you can give is a hug; one size fits all and no one ever minds if you return it.

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104 When you are down and no one is there don’t think of me. When you are crying and no one is there then too don’t just think of me, call me up, my incoming is free. 105 Salesman: Sir, this computer will cut your workload 50% That’s great I’ll take two of them. 106 An astronomer was watching the sky from his telescope. A man was observing him. Suddenly a star falls, seeing that the man shouted: Kya nishana lagaya hai! 107 When somebody whose deeply in love with you tells you that you are cute, beautiful and angelic, I agree. That’s true, believe me, I swear because love is blind. 108 Petrol ke rate badne par Chandu bola : “ Menu koi farak nahi penda. Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha ab bhi 100 ka bharwata hoon.” 109 I wanted to kill the most sweetest, smartest and most beautiful person on

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earth. Then I thought SUICIDE is crime under sec 309 IPC. 110 Look at the world as 1 big chocolate cake. It would never be complete without few sweets and nuts. Sweets like ME and nuts like YOU. 111 Bhaiya Another definition of bhaiya B = Bada H = Handsom A = Aur I = Intelligent Y = Yaar A = Apna 112 Master ji – Kal school kyon nahi aya. Anshu – Gir gaya aur lag gai. Master ji – Kahan gire aur kahan lagi. Anshu – Takia pe gira aura ankh lag gai. 113 Yaad ayae kabhi to aankhe nam na karma, hum chale bhi jaye to gam na karma, Are ! koi baat nahi hum bhoot banker DARANE tere sapno mein daily aayge. 114 Lat night i met 7 angels and they wanted to meet intelligent person. So i

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gave them your address ! Dekha unko kaise ullu banaya. 115 Judge to accused in court : Gita pe haath rakhke kaho. Accused replied : Oye Sita pe haath rakhke to court bulwa liya, ab phir Geeta pe haath. 116 A mad dog is chasing a man. The man laugh’s while running. Know why – He says – mera to airtel hai phir bhi hutch ka network follow kar raha hai. 117 Jojo apni wife ke sath coffee shop gaya, hot coffee order ki, coffee aate hi wife se bola jaldi jaldi pee. Wife boli – kyon. Jojo bola hot coffee Rs. 5 and cold coffee Rs. 10. 118 Customer to salesman : - I need pink curtains for my computers. Salesman : - Sir, computer doesn’t need curtains. Customer : - Oye ! I have windows installed. 119 Boy : - Marte waqt admi ko kya dena chahia. Girl : - Birla cement.

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Boy : - Kyun ? Girl : - Kyunki is cement mein jaan hai. 120 Hum apna farz nibhate rahenge. Har samay apko satate rahenge. Dua karo umar lambi ho hamari varna Bhoot banke darate rahenge. 121 Life lies before you. Like a sheet of plain snow. Tread on it carefully. Cause every mark will show. 122 Kab tut jaye kasam hi to hai. Kab badal jaye nazar hi to hai. Mere saath ki adapt at dal. Kab bichad jaye zindagi hi to hai. 123 Khush Naseeb hai aap jo hum apki dosti ko itni shiddat se chahte hai. Warna hum wo shaks hai jo khwab mein bhi appointment se aate hai ……… 124 A man was drawing money from the ATM. The another man behind him in the line said, “ Ha ! Ha ! I have seen your password. Its four asterisks. ” The first man replies, Ha ! Ha ! you are wrong its 1258. 125 What is the height of stupidity?

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Two youngsters sitting on a motorcycle and fighting for a window seat. 126 Did you hear about the rich man who is so rich he has two swimming pools. One of which is always empty? Its for people who cannot swim. 127 Santa Singh : Will this bus take me to Jalandhar? Driver : Which part? Santa Singh : All of me, of course ! 128 What do you call a man in a deep well. A deep thinker.

129 Netaji calls Air India. How long does it take to Amritsar? Just a second. Says the customer service assistant. Thank you says the netaji and hangs up. 130 Santa Singh goes to a TV shop and asks , Aap ke pas colour TV hai kya. Han replies shopowner. Santa Singh says , Ek hara wala dena.

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131 Once lallu singh was riding a cycle and he suddenly hit a girl. So girl shouted , Sala ghanti nahi mar sakta tha. And lallu replied , Pori cycle to mar de ab ghanti alag se maru. 132 Banta singh happened to be in a queue at a railway station ticket counter with two men ahead of him. “ Ek Punjab mail dena ” demanded the man in front. “ Ek Punjab mail dena ” the second man asked and was handed a ticket. Then came the turn of banta singh, “ Ek Punjab female dena ” What do you mean by Punjab female? Asked the clerk . It is for my wife replied banta singh. 133 If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met yourself. 134 Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays of now. 135 First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering. 136 Always remember you are unique, just like everyone else.

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137 My girl and me, we are so perfect, she loves me, and I love myself too. 138 Message na karke dil tod diya mera, Ab mobile dufna dena, Kafan na mile to apna rumal udha dena, Koi puche rog kya tha, To nazerien jhuka ke apni kanjusi bata dena. 139 Tum mujhe sms bhejo ya na bhejo, tumhare na bhejne ka koi gam nahi, khushi is bat ki hai ki, tumhari yeh ada kisi kanjoos se kam nahi. 140 Jahan zindigi wahan pyar, zahan pyar wahan mahobbat, jahan mahobbat wahan ishk, jahan ishk wahan dard, jahan dard wahan iodex lagao. 141 When you are alone, when you are crying, when you are upset, don’t think of me !!!!! just call me because incoming is free for me….. my friend. 142 Why did god create you before me. Because he wanted to create a sample before creating a master piece.

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143 Days are too busy, hours are too fast, seconds are too few but there’s are always time for me to disturb you. 144 Scientists all over the world are wondering how long a human being can live without a brain. Kindly tell me your age. 145 Sign board outside collage : - “Drive carefully don’t kill the students wait for the lecturers.” 146 What happened to your network? I tried to call you but the operator said “ Welcome to the jungle the monkey you are trying to call is on the tree …………. Please call later.” 147 Unlike others. Your brain is a master piece. It has two halves the left and the right. The left has nothing right in it and the right has nothing left in it. 148 so sweet is your.. SMILE ….. so sweet is your STYLE ….. so sweet is your VOICE ….. so sweet is your EYE ….. see how sweetly I LIE !!!!

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149 My life was in darkness before I met you. But now it is bright. You know why ? Because you are a tubelight. 150 Various heights :(A) Height of isolation? Ans. Two persons sitting side by side using e-mails to communicate with each other. (B) Height of cowardice ? Ans. Two persons fighting through emails. (C) Height of helplessness ? Ans. Receiving no e-mails for a week. (D) Height of frustration ? Ans. The e-mail server being down. (E) Height of carelessness ? Ans. Writing a love mail and doing a “Send All.”. (F) Height of timepass ? Ans. A person sending e-mail to himself. (G) Height of expectation ?

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Ans. Sending Indian cricket team an email, wishing them to win a match. (H) Height of repetition ? Ans. Forwarding an e-mail to someone and receiving the same e-mail forwarded back to you by someone in the receiving chain. (I) Height of browsing ? Ans. You are swimming in the water tank and shout “F1F1F1” instead of shouting “Help” when you are unable to swim. (J) What is height of fashion ? Ans. Dhoti with a zip. (K) What is height of secrecy ? Ans. Offering black visiting cards. (L) What is height of active laziness ? Ans. Asking for a lift to house while on a morning walk . (M) What is height of craziness ? Ans. Getting a black paper Xeroxed. (N) What is height of forgetfulness ? Ans. Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.

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(O) What is height of stupidity ? Ans. A man looking through a keyhole of a glass door. (P) What is height of Suicide ? Ans. A dwarf jumping from the footpath on the road. (Q) What is height of de-hydration ? Ans. A cow giving milk powder. 151 Mandir mein jap karta hoon. Masjid mein aadab karta hoon. Insan se kahin baghwan na ban jaun isliye roz tujhe SMS kar ke pap karts hoon. 152 Phulon se koobsurat koi nahi. Sagar se ghahra koi nahi. Aab apki kya tariff karu ……………… Dost mein aap jaisa ……… ….. Nalayak koi nahin. 153 What is a difference between a kiss, a car and a monkey ? Ans. A kiss is so dear, car is too dear but monkey is you dear. 154 TUSI bade hi gr8 ho, RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,

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PEPSI ke cr8 ho, ANDE ka oml8 ho, SMS karne me bade la8 ho, JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho, KHER job hi ho mere fevr8 ho. 155 Based on Newton’s first law : Law of love. Love neither be created nor be destroyed, only it can be changed from one girlfriend to another girlfriend. 156 Deepak mein Jyoti Jyoti mein Prakash Pulkit hai dharti Jagmagaye akash Diyon ki katar Kahe bar bar Viraje mata Laxmi Apke ghardwar. Happy Diwali. 157 Kisiki yaad mein rona fizul hai Ansu bade anmol hain inhen khona fizul hai Ro to unke liye jot um par kurban ho Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazar ho. 158 Yeh sulagata jism, yeh kapmpate hoonth, yeh thartharata hua badan, yeh

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ladkharati aawaz, mujhe phele hi pata tha yeh MALARIA hai. 159 Manzil ki taraf badte chalo jo dil kahe usi rah ko chuno. Piche walon ko aage na jane do aura age walon se aage niklo, thabhi tum ache RICKSHE WALE ban paoge. 160 Aaj se aap ke yahan dhan ki barsaat ho. Ma laxmi ka vaas ho sankaton ka nash ho. Har dil per aapka raj ho unnti ka sar per taj ho. Ghar mein shanty ka vaas ho. Happy Depawali. 161 Heartiest greetings and best wishes for a happy bright and prosperous Diwali. 162 Vijay dhashwi ke shubh awsar per MA DURGE apni dus bhujaon se aapko bal, budhi, vidya, such, aishwarya, daulat, abijeet, arogyata, sampanneta pradan kare. Aisi kamna hai meri “JAI MATA DI”. 163 Mayawati came 2 Laloo’s house with a goat…….. Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyon lai ho ? Maya : Dikta nahi gotwa hai. Lalu : Hum gotwa se hi to puch raha hoon.

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164 God picked up a flower and dipped im a dew, he lovingly touched it, which turned into u. N den he gifted it to me N said “Dis friend iz 4 u.” 165 Ansu tere nikle to ankeh meri ho. Dil tera dhadke to dhakkan meri ho. Kudha kare ki dosti hamari itni gehri ho Ki naukri tum karo aur pagar meri ho ! 166 Kushi nahin to kya hua Gam ke sahare ji lenge Hamari girl friend nahin hai to kya hua Hum aapki girl friend ke sahare jee lenge. 167 Kisiki yaad mein rona fizul hai Aansu bade anmol hain inhen khona fizul hai Ro to unke liye jot um par kurban ho Unke liye kya rona jinke aashiq hazar hai. 168 Bin savaan barsat nahin hoti Suraj doobe bina raat nahin hoti A dost kisika dil nahin todna Kyonki tootane ki aavaz nahin hoti. 169 Manz biography b4 marriage is like Airtel aise azadi aur kahan

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He marries thinking an Idea can change his life After dat itz Hutch where ever you go network follows. 170 If you read this, I am smart If you save this, you agree I am smart If you forward this, you are spreading that I am smart If you delete this, you are jealous because I am smart. 171 Bagwan sabse zyada khush kab hote hain : jab kisi ladki ko gunde pakad rahan hon aur ladki kahe “MUJHE BAGWAN KE LIYE CHORD DO.” 172 Wife : Dekho na wo admi mujhe ghoor ghoor ke dekh raha hai. Husband : Are wo to kabadwala hai. Bekar mal per nazar rakhna uski aadat hai. 173 Sweet candies are nice to eat Sweet words are easy to say But, sweet people are hard to find OH MY GOD ! how did you find me. 174 Kind, Intelligent, loving and hot . This describes everything you are not.

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175 Babuji ne kaha ghar chhod do. Maa ne kaha Paro ko chhod do. Par one kaha sharab chhod do. Lekin tumse kaha message karma chhod do. 176 I see your face when I am dreaming. That’s why I always wake up screaming. 177 My feelings for you no words can tell. Except for may be “go to hell. 178 Of loving beauty you float with grace. If only you could hide your face. 179 When I open my eyes every morning I pray to God that everyone should have a friend like you……. Why should only I suffer. 180 When you feel sad……….. To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “damn I am really so cute” you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit…….. Because liars go to hell.

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181 What is wrong with your cell every time I call a voice comes the subscriber you have dialed is a monkey please contact zoo for details. 182 Someday you may lose your hair. You may loose your teeth your money and even loose your mind. But 1 thing you would never loose is your good looks. Because you can’t loose what you don’t have. 183 I just met someone in coffee bar, really good looking daedly smart so delightful more like a celebraity I walked nearer….. Damn……… Saint Gobain Mirrors. 184 Aap bahot hi Attractive, Smart, Decent, Cute, Fantastic, Loveble, Intelligent, Ravishing smart, aur Talented person

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Ka SMS padh rahe ho. 185 Isse pehle ki mobile network vyast ho. Dua hai ki aane wala saal aap ke liye zabardast ho. WISHING YOU ALL A VERY HAPPY AND PROPEROUS NEW YEAR 2006. 186 Wish you a very happy new year. 187 A Bright, Prosperous and Happy New Year. Let me wish you all the Joys, Wealth, Fame and Glory. 188 A smile is a language everybody understands. It costs nothing but creates much. It happens fast but its memory may last forever. Keep smiling. 189 Na chahat hai sitaroki Na tamanna hai nazaroki Aap jaisa dost mil jai to Kya zaroorat hai hazaroki . 190 If you are a chocolate, You are the sweetest.

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If you are a mountain, You are the highest. If you are a star, You are the brightest. And If you are my friend, OH MY GOD !!!!! You are the luckiest….. 191 7 wonders of the World Guess what ………. 7th Me 6th My style 5th My smile 4th My personality

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3rd My nature 2nd My SMS And 1st bhe hum samjhe. 192 Satrangi sapno se saja Nav Varsh ka savera ho, Khushiya bhare angana me, Sukh samardhi ka basera ho. 193 Whishing you and your niiiice family a very very very “ Happy New Year “ 194 Santa goes to a phone booth to make a call. Before dialing he slaps his face twice. Why ? “ Because it was written on the phone, dial karne se pehle 2 lagaye. ” 195 Talash karoge to koi mil jayega, Hamari tarah dosti kaun nibhayga, Dost ki nazar to aur bhi dekhte honge, Par wo hamari nazar kahan se lagayega.

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196 When I call you 1 ring means I am thinking you. 2 ring means I like you. 3 ring means I am missing you. 4 ring means I need you. 5 ring means behre phoon utha. 197 Aap bahut hi smart, sweet, cute, intelligent, charming, talented ladke ka SMS padh rahe ho. 198 Dil mein ek shor ho raha hai, Bina SMS dil bore ho raha hai, Kahin aisa to nahin aapka dost, Apko yaad karke ro raha hai.

199 1 Minute = 60 Seconds

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1 Day = 24 Hours 1 Hour = 60 Minutes But 1 Second without you = 1000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 0000000000000000000000000000000000 000000 million year. 200 Fiza par asar hawon ka hota hai, Mohobatt pe asar adaon ka hota hai, Koi aise hi kisi ka diwana nahi hota, Kuch kasoor nighahon ka bhi hota hai. 201 Arz hai – Liala ki shaadi mein lafda ho gaya……. Waa Waa………… Laila ki shaadi mein lafda ho gaya………. Majnu itna nacha ki lungra ho gaya…… Wah……..Wah……..Wah……. 202 Akaash ke taron mein khoya hai. Jahan sara lagta hai pyara ek taran. In taron mein sabse pyara hai. Ek sitara jo is waqt padh raha hai SMS hamara. 203 Kitni ajeeb baat hai… Aadmi marne ke baad, bhoot ban jaata hai, Par…

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Aurat chudhel ki chudhel hi rehti hai…!!!

204 In Sanskrit class, teacher asked a student “tumso maa jyotirgamay” ka arth batao ? Student replied “Maa, tum so jao main jyoti ke ghar jar aha hoon. 205 Yaad rakh ke meri dosti ko tumne, Meri zindagi ko ek ehsaan kar diya. Is mobile mein yeh last rupiya tha, Dekh maine who bhi TERE – NAM kar diya. 206 A man goes to a hotel and eats hartly. After eating he goes to wash his hands but starts washing the basin instead. The manager comes running and asks him, “aap kya kar rahe ho ?” To this the man replies, “Oye!tumne hi to idhar board lagaya hai [ Wash Basin ] ” 207 Think Well Work Well Eat Well Sleep Well Play Well and also put your mobile inside the same well because you are not messaging me well. 208 How do you occupy an idiot ?

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Press Down Press Up. 209 A man falls in love with a nurse. After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her “ I Love You Sister.

210 Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai, gamm ke saagar mein is kadar kho gayi hai, tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri, tumhare SMS ki adapt si ho gayi hai. 211 You are a stupid! e.i. Smart Talented Unique Person In Demand. 212 So sweet is your smile….. So sweet is your style….. So sweet is your voice….. So sweet is your eye….. See how sweetly I Lie….. 213 Sincere apology :

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If you don’t like any of your SMS or don’t like to read or if my messages disturb you, then please don’t hesitate, feel free to throw your mobile !! 214 Aim for the stars. But first, aim for their body guards. 215 Boy : What will you give me as reward if I climb Mt.Everest ? Girl : A push.

216 Gita mein likha hai

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Yahan nahi likha hai. 217 Let me draw your face Don’t move! Nearly finished Ok done

“Draw a monkeys face ” Hai main mar javan kitne sone ho tum.

218 Pesh hai pehli baar aap ke phone mein nahati hui ladki

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Aaj thand hai kal nahaegi 219Lokesh : Poor Nakul has lost his hearing. What would he do now ? Mukul : Don’t you worry; he has been shifted to the Complaints Department.

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220 Ram : How long have you been working here ? Anand : Eve since the day the boss threatened to fire me. 221 Silu : My husband forgets wedding anniversaries. What about you ? Suman : Oh, he too forgets. So, I remind him of it in January and June and get two presents a year. 222 Ram : I saw the doctor you told me to see. Prakash : Did you tell him I sent you ? Ram : Yes I did ! Prakash : What did he say ? Ram : He asked for his fees in advance. 223 Ae mere kadardan dost Tu hai meri jaan Tum hamesha raho hatte katte nuajavan. Kyun ki khuda meherban to gadha pahalwan.

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224 aapki personality dekhker aapki tasveer banayi hai Hamare ghar ko nazar na lage is lia bahar hi latkayi hai. 225 MMS = Murda Message Service 226 We call this inhuman technology “Mokia” connecting dead people. 227 Khat likh raha hoon khoon se Syahi mat samjana Kisi mareez ka sample hai Mera mat samajna. 228 What is the full form of MATHS ? Ans. Mentaly Affected Teachers are Harassing Students. 229 Bat mausam ki ho aur barsat na ho bag mein bahar ho aur gulab na ho Cricket ka match ho aur Sehwag na ho Bewkufoon ki mehfil ho aur aap na hon. 230 Where are you ? Ans. I am in the police station. Police arrested me for possessing large amount

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of intelligence. They are asking for a brain less person to bell me. Can you come ? 231 Kal mujhe aladin ka chirag mila Maine jin se khaha Is SMS ko padne wale ko insane bana dena. Jin bola main sirf icha puri karta hoon, koi chamatkar nahi. 232 How does life relates to movies = 1 G.F = koi Mil Gaya . 2 G.F = Koish . 3 G.F = Main aisa hi hoon . No G.F = Lucky ! No time for love. . 233 Bhai sahib ! Kya time hua hai ? Ans. 6 baje hain. Sala !!!!!!!!!! Subha se pooch raha hoon, sab log alag alag bata rahe hain. 234 How would you differentiate between a murga and a murgi ? Ans. Pather maro ! Ud gaya to murga aur ud gayi to murgi. 235 Santa ke ghar mein Income Tax ki rade padi ?

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Income Tax walon ne poocha itna paisa kahan se aaya ? Ans. Santa bola sab upar wale kid an hai. Income Tax wale upar bathe banta singh ko pakad kar le gay. 236 After giving the exam, when banta was asked that how was the paper ? He said “ The paper was very good but I could not write the past tense of THINK . I thought and thought but I did notgot it so I wrote THUNK ”. 237 Banta was below a tube light standing with mouth open. Why ? Ans. Doctor advised “pate mein dard hai, aaj light hi khana.”

238 Teacher : What is 4 + 5? Student : 9 Teacher : What is 5 + 4? Student : Don’t fool me, you have just twisted the question. Answer is 6. 239 Where can you find mangoes ? Ans. Where woman goes there MANgoes.

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240 Movies related to life : Party = Main Hoon Na Exams = Socha Na Tha Clases = Khabhi Khabhi Maths = Asambhav Fail = Phir Milenge 241 When words are not enough to express your feelings. Don’t think you are in love. You just need to attend RAPIDEX English speaking coarse. 242 What is height of flirting ? When your love letter starts with “To whom so ever it may concern.” 243 Dil ke rishte bhi aajeeb hote hain Door reh kar bhi kareeb hote hain Jo log aapko roj dhekte hain Wo log kitne badnaseeb hote hain.

244 Ramchandra kahe gaye siya se aisa kalyug aayega Dono taraf se honge sms Per phone koi na milayega.

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245 At midnight 1 sms Yeh hamari Madhya ratri seva hai. Isme ham logon ko tang karte hain. Aap bhi is seva ka labh uthayen. Ab so jayea – GOOD NIGHT. 246 Aap ke liye railway mein job nikli hai. Salary 75000 / Month. Job hai SHATABDI ki light karab ho gayi hai, torch leke train kea age aage bhagana hai. 247 Arz hai “ Subhah subhah pio pani gunguna, Subhah subhah pio pani gunguna, to bhaiya POT SEAT mein milega umeed se dugna….” Good Morning.

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248 3 din baad aap Lal, Peele, Hare, Kale, Ho jaoge Gabhrao nahi 4 din baad ‘Holi’ hai And remember I am the first person to wish you Happy Holi !

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249 Funny Fundas : Love Affairs : Something like cricket where one day internationals are more popular than a five day test Tears : The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power Office : A place where you can relax after your strenuous hme life Father : A banker provided by nature Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills

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250 Happy holi to you and your family.

251 Tesu ki khushboo, Rango ki bahar, Kanji ka rus, Gujhia ka swad, Man mein tarang, Dilon mein pyaar, Yehi hai holi ka pyaara tyohar. Happy Holi. 252 Holi ke rango se aap bhig jaye, Gujhia aur mithai khayia, Meri subh kamnaye bhi lete jaiye. 253 Nele pele lal gulal jevan mein laye nai bahar Rango ka yeh tyohar Aai jevan mein bar bar. 254 Lal gulabi rang hain Jum raha sansar Suraj ki kiran Khushiyan ki bahar

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Chand ki chandni Apno ka pyaar Subh ho aapka yeh rangon ka tyohar

255 Pichkariyon ki faur Gubaron ka dhamal Rango ka sringar Gulalo ki bahar Aapno ka sath Jeewan mein ullas aur Bhang ka glass Aapki holi ho 1st class. 256 Isse pahele ki sanwat ka antim suryast ho Isse pehle ki is SANWAT ka PANCHANG nasht ho Isse pehle ki aap RANGON ki dhoom main mast ho Aur Isse pehle ki mobile network vyast ho Dua hai ki aane wala SANWAT aapke liye zabardast ho HAPPY HOLI

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257 Phoolon ne amrit ka jam bheja hai, Rango ne prem ka salam bhejha hai, Har khushia mubarak ho apko, Hamne yeh paigam bhejha hai.

258 <(.. .)> /”/ ./”L Yeh hai basanti, Ab yeh aapke mobile per nachegi.

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Sorry !! Apun bhul gaya tha ki Basanti kutton ke samne nahi nachti. 259 You look sweet when you read my message You look sweeter when you read my message and smile You look sweetest when you read my message, smile and reply So, try to look sweetest. 260 Namaskar, yeh hamari faltoo SMS seva hai, isme hum logon ko waqt bewaqt tang karte hain. Is seva ka labh uthane ke liye shukriya, ab aap apna kaam kariye.

261 Dil se tera kyaal na jaye to kya karun, Tu hi bata tu yaad aaye to kya karun, Hasrat yeh hai ek nazar tujhe dekh lun, Per madari tujhe roj na laye to kya karun. 262 Send your cv urgent… It’s a nice package and a chance to come on TV…

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Because HUTCH ka DOGGIE kho gaya hai… They want a new one. 263 Welcome to www.youngluv.com type password ***** New Member? You are welcome Processing………. Denied Sorry, you are too old. Try www.aunty/uncle.com 264 If I go wrong, I need your hand to correct me If I win, I need your hand to pat me If I am lost, I need your hand to guide me Short me bole to = Ye haath hamko de de thakur. 265 A man went to museum, there he broke a statue. Officer : You have broken a 5000 years old statue. Man : Thank God ! Mere ko laga naya tha. 266 Life is difficult, full of trials, pain, sorrow but if you fall down, just stand up strait, be confident and say….. Kisne dhakka maara be.

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267 Aap bahut hi Smart, Sweet, Cute, Intelligent, Charming, Talented, Ladke ka SMS padh rahe ho. 268 Ye Bandar kaise SMS padh raha hai. Ye Bandar ab hasega aur ye SMS forward karega aur phone rakh de ga. Ye Bandar ab bhi SMS padh raha hai. Besharam phone rakh. 269 Main nahin chahta ki sukhey ve zakhm. Jo tumne mujhe diya kyunki = Kuch cheesay hamesha haribhari hi achi lagti hain. 270 Poty karne ke bad ka gana “Juda ho kar bhi tu mujhme kahin baki hai” only for toilet singers. 271 Hey, I have got a very secret message for you. Don’t let it someone see. Type this number in T9 mode… 96804283023266302774503665.

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272 Hawa ka jhoka aaya, Khushbu teri saath laya, Phir yehi kyaal aaya, Aaj bhi mera dost nahi nahaya. 273 10 things I know about you. 1. You are a special person with a wonderful heart. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.

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Bus, Baki kal. 1 din mein 1 hi joke. 274 Aaj maine mandir mein ek ladki ko cigerate pite hua dekha mujhe itna bura laga you won’t believe mere haath se daru ka glass chooth gaya.

275 Mukesh said to Anil Ambani “I want to kiss your wife” Anil replied, Ok but 40paise/minute Tina shouted don’t cheat him, Reliance to Reliance is free. 276 Baap = Ghar ka sara saman chupa kar rakh d. Mere char dost aa rahe hain. Beta = Aapke dost chor hain kya? Saaman chura lenge? Baap = Nahin pehchan lenge. 277 Teri aanko mein ye jo nami si chahi hai, Vo mere dur hoone ki gavahi hai. Yaad itna na kiya kar mujhe, hichki le le kar meri jaan pe ban aayi hai. 278 Sirf SirfSirfSirf

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SirfSirfSirfSirfSirf Sirf SirfSirfSirfSirf SirfSirfSirfSirfSirf SirfSirfSirfSirfSirf Disturb karma that. 279 Jab tum haste ho to lagta hai ki insaan pehele Bandar tha. Dekho gussa mat hona kyun ki jab tum gussa hote ho to lagta hai ki insaan aaj bhi Bandar hai.

280 Try this : Hold a basket of grapes in your hands. Stand in front of the mirror. What will you see ? “Langoor ke hath main Angoor” 281 New punishment for mobile users = Missed call ke liye Kala Pani. SMS ke liye Fansi. Call ke liye Umar Kaid.

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Lekin tum mat daro = Kanjusoo ko to 1 lakh milega. 282 $%^&*$#@!(*)#@%$&!$~*@^@ Lost all my hair. Waiting for your reply. 283 Think Big, Think Samrt, Think Great, Think Ultimate. If that is too much for you Here is a shortcut just think of me.

284 To know the relation between you and me just keep your phone in T9 mode and type this number = 9680273084307 9338378037436 3026302378037 436306306463 285 You are the greatest man of the world. My life lies beneath you. In your each step lives my breath.

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Don’t worry this SMS was sent to me so I just wanted you to read it. 286 KitnaAchachaLagtaHaiJabKoiBinaSpaceDi yeSMSJKartaHai Aur kitna achacha lagta hai jab koi bewkoof use dhyan laga ker karta hai. 287 Bush : Hamare paas Madona hai, Britney hai, Julia Roberts hai, Cameroon Diaz hai. Tumahre paas kya hai ? Manmohan Singh : Hamare paas Imran Hashmi hai. 288 To know one more quality about you, type this number in T9 mode. 9680273084304 7328378036650 6308430967531 0430430430416 0737468708447 084631 289 You are = A = Attractive B = Best C = Cute

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D = Dashing E = Excellent F = Funny G = Good luking H = He, He, He, I = I am J = Joking… 290 Hathi ne chuhiya ko chedd diya, chihiya ne hathni ko shikayat karke kaha ki apne pati ko samjha lo verna mard hamare ghar mein bhi hain. 291 Navratron ke utsav per Maa Vaishano apki manokamna puri kare Maa Naina devi apke naino ko Tez pradan kare Maa chintpurini aapki chinta door kare Maa kali apke dushmano ka nash kare Mansa devi apki mansa puri kare Maa sheravali aapke parivar ko sukh shanty de Maa jawala ji apke jeevan mein roshani pradan kare Maa Laxmi apko dhan se malamal kare. 292 Aanko mein rahene walon ko yaad nahi karte, Dil mein rahene walon ki baat nahin karte,

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Hamari to ruh mein bus gaye hain aap, Tabhi to hum milne ki fariyad nahin karte. 293 Woman has man in it, Mrs has Mr In it, female has male in it, madam has adam in it, so girls are always incomplete without boys. 294 tum haste raho, haste raho, haste raho, muskurate raho, sada khilkhilate raho, Kush raho, Mera kya hai ? Log Tumhe hi pagal kahenge. Ha ! Ha ! Ha ! 295 Teacher : Four beautiful girls are walking on the road. Change it into exclamatory sentence. Student : Wow ! 296 I want you to be with me in a nice restorent to have Candle Light Dinner and say those three sweet words to you…. Pay The Bill. 297 Your smile can be compared to a flower, Your voice can be compared to a cuckoo, your innocence to a child, but in

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stupidity you have no comparison you are the best. 298 This is not fair! How could you do this? Didn’t expect this from you! Got a whole channel on your name and you didn’t even tell me? Animal Planet.

299 I have written a poem for you := Twinkle twinkle little star, You should know what you are, And once you know what you are, Mental hospital is not so far. 300 In a racing club, the horses have gone for a strike. Management decided to run donkeys instead of horses, so stop reading the sms and report on duty. 301 Ladka : Tute hue dil se pyaar karogi, ya dil tutne tak pyaar karogi.

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Ladki : Tuti hui chhapal se mar kayega, ya chhapal tutne tak mar kayega. 302 Do you know what does the computer think of you when you sit In front of it. . . . . . . . . INTEL Inside….. IDIOT Outside.

303 Girls are like internet domain names….. the ones I like are already taken. 304 Kya hai naye zamane ki technology Purana time tha jab message kabutar se bheja jata tha Naye zamane mein kabutaron ko message bheja jata hai. 305 Why boys go to temple ?

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To know the feeling of pooja, shradha, aarti, aaradhana, bhavana and finally tripti. 306 Dimag ho to jara soch ke batao ki tumhare bhai ki bhateiji ki chachi ki sas ke bhai ki biwi ki sas ke pati ka jamai ke pote ki maa ki nanad ka bhai kaun hoga. 307 Arj kiya hai Madmast havaiyei hai, Mausam bhi suhanna hai Bandar SMS padh raha hai, kya educated zamana hai. 308 Aye sala abhi abhi hua yakin Padhai mere bas ki nahi Kitabo ko main nigal gaya Padte padte pighal gaya Hui subhah main kho gaya Paper mein so gaya Rubaru roshni hai. 309 True bravery is to arrive home late night and mom waiting with a jhadu and you ask = Hai mom, abhi tak safai kar rahi ho. 310 Bikhari : “Saheb 1 rupya de do.”

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Saheb : “Kal aana.” Bhikari : “Saala is kal kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lankon rupye fanse hua hain.” 311 7-,7-33l-7- ,-3. 7,7-3. ! l 7l_7/ 3l_/ 7!_7_ Press EDIT and remove all the 7 and 3 to understand this sms. Its specially for you. 312 Dekha mere sms ka kamal? Ganti baji, Bandar ne cell uthaya, ab Bandar sms padh raha hai, ab apna sar khaujla kar sochega ki ye sms kisko behju. 313 Wo madhosh aankhe Wo garam sanse Wo kapkapata jism Wo thar thar aate honth Main ne to phele hi kaha tha Birdflu hai Chcken mat kana. 314 Ba dab ba Mulahiza hoshiyar, Pagalon ke maharaja Hindustani bewcufoon ke shashzade

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Noore chashm Shan E Pagalistan SMS padh kar kush ho rahe hain.

315 Chand taron ke noor tum par barse, Har koi teri teri chahat ko tarse, Teri zindagi mein aaye, Itni kushi kit u ek gam pane ko tarse. 316 Lohe ko loha kat sakta hai, Sone ko sona kat sakta hai, Jahar ko jahar kat sakta hai, Tum please apna kyaal rakhna, Tum ko kutta kat sakta hai. 317 Ek hati chiti ke pyaar mein pagal ho jata hai, Chiti ke ghar walon ko yeh rishta manjoor nahi. Wo kahete hain ki ladke ke danth bahar hain.

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318 Bhagwan apko kush rakhe, Apki umar lambi ho, Apki saari pareshani door ho, Apki rozi mein barkat ho.

Yaad ho gaya ?

To katora uttao.

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319 Wo thanda thanda pani, Wo sabun ki khushboo, Wo shampoo ki bottle, Wo tazgi ka ehsas. Khaer tum kya jano roz roz nahane mein kitna maza aata hai.

320 Namaskar ! Aaj ka tapman 44’C hone ki sambhavana hai. Kripaya apne dimag pe baraf laga ke rakhen because

Bhusa jaldi aag pakadta hai.

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321 Sabhi dukho se mukti ke liye Prabhu ki yeh tasvir dekhiye

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Sorry Papiyon ko nahi dikti. 322 100 gm mitti, 10 gm kankad patthar, 25 species ke kide makode, 5gm makdi ke jale aur 500 gm bhusa. Don’t be confused, this is x – ray report of your brain. 323 Your friendship is like su su in chadhi, others can see it, but you can feel the farms.

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324 Mil jati hai kitno ko khushi, Mil jate hain kitno ko gum, Message isiliye bhejate hain hum, Door rah kar bhi na ho sake apni dosti kum. 325 Higo pigo, jila pila, aai mai, hula hula, timpataka dimpataka, aai aai, jingara jingara

Shapath le liye ! Mubarak ho ! ab aap AADIWASI ban Gaye hain. 326 Tumhara ghar Amitab Bachchan ke ghar ke right side mein hoga kyon ki unka servant quarter unke ghar ke right side mein hai. 327 To know one quality about you, type this number in T9 mode 9680273084304 7328378036650 6308430967531 0430430430416 0737468708447 084631

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328 I am sending some magic fishes to you – <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< <>< To get to know how do they swim, place your mobile in water and have fun. 329 Ek ju ko ganje ke sir per tehelte dekh doosri ju boli : wa kya ghar doonda hai. Is per pehele wali boli : are kahan abhi to sirf plot karida hai.

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330 Hamesha

SMS Bejate rahena

Warna

“r- -._,- - - - “-, .c-.- - - / i -” c_ j + Khallas

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Dar mat pani wali hai.

331 Ram yug mein doodh mila, Krishan yug mein ghi, Kalyug mein chai milli, Fook mar ke pii

Good Morning. 332 Medha banker aayi, Ghar mein kushiyan barsayi, Kush raho tum sada, Yahi dua kare hum bhai. 333 Nazar jhuki to paimane bane, Dil tuta to maikhane bane, Kucj to hai aap mein aaisa, Yu hi nahin hum aapke diwane bane. 334 Har pal khili rahe tumhare jeevan mein baharen,

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tumhen hi lag jaye zindagi ke baki din hamare, Tumhare zindagi ke din itne ho jitney aasman mein tare. 335 Fact 1 : - You cannot touch lower lips with your tongue. Fact 2 : - 99 % of the idiots try it.

336 Kripaya dyaan de ............................................................... .... ………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………… …………………………………………………………… ……………………………………………………………… dyaan den eke liye shukriya. 337 Nigahen milakar kiya dil ko jakmi, Aadayen dikha kar sitam dha rahe ho, Kya khoob diya wafa ka silsila,

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Tadapte hue chorh kar ja rahe ho. 338 Yahi to koobsoorat dosti ka nata hai, Jo bina kisi shart ke jiya jata hai, Rahen dooriyan to parwan nahin, Dost to har pal dil mein basaya jata hai. 339 Ek quaab, ek kyaal, ek hakikat ho tum, Dosti mein padne wali har jaroorat ho tum, Jisse roj bat karne ko dil kare wo dost ho tum. 340 Aapni jubaan se hum kah nahi sakte, Har waqt kuda se fariyaad karte hain, Jab khabhi aapka dil joor se dhadke, To samajhana ki hum aapko yaad karte hain.

341 Crok Crook (0)0) ( ._ _. ) > < This froggy says, you are his friend.

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Pachak !!!!!!!!!!!

So I killed him because you are mine. 342 Santa Singh Banta Singh : Tumhe sabse zyada dar kisse lagta hai ? Banta Singh : My wife’s mother. 343 Ek jaj ke samne ek apradhi ki 5vi bar peshi hui. Juj : Tumhen sakht saja sunaunga. Apradhi : Main aapka regular customer hoon isliye thoda discount digiaga. 344 Ek garib pati patni jangal se hokar ja rahe the. Achanak samne se sher aata dekh pati ped per chad gayaaur apni patni se bola main bhale hi vidhur ho jaoun per tumko vidhva nahin hone doonga.

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345 Zindagi ke liye jina jaroori hai, Jine ke liye arman jaroori hai, Zindagi mein chahe jitna gum ho, Aap ke chehare per muskan jaroori hai. 346 Lehar aati hai kinare se palat jati hai, Yaad aati hai dil mein simat jati hai, Dono mein itna fark hai, Leharen bewaqt aati hain aur yaad har waqt aati hai. 347 Aur kuch nahi ek muskan hi kafi hai, Dil mein bus ek arman hi kafi hai, Aap sada kush raho aur hamen yaad rakhna yeh ehsaan hi kafi. 348 Ek pal ek sal hai aap ke bina, Har lamha intazar hai aapke bina, Aap to ji loge aapni zindagi, Per zindagi bekar hai aapke bina. 349 Hum aapna farz nibhate rahenge. Har samay aapko satate rahenge. Dua karo umra lambi ho hamari warna bhoot banke darate rahenge. 350 Kushiyon se naraz hai meri zindagi, Pyaar ki mauhtaz hai meri zindagi, Logon ko dikhane ke liye has leta hoon, Varna dard ki mauhtaz hai meri zindagi.

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351 Samjhega kya ulta wo to aaya nahi main samajh kuch seedha ko bevakoof kisi agar. Confused ……. ? ? ? ? ? Try to read it backwards. 352 My days are becoming restless, my nights are becoming sleepless. I asked God that IS THIS LOVE ? God said : “ Bevakoof !! Garmi aa gayi hai..!!” 353 Teacher : First ad kise kahete hain? Student : Ji pahele vigyapan ko. 354 Grahak Vater se : Yeh pani vapas le jao aur doosra gilas lao. Vater : Kyon? Grahak : Kyonki gilas mein tum ungali dal kar laye ho. Vater : Fhir aap us aadmi ko kya kahenge jo tanki mein khada ho kar pani nikal raha hai. 355 Pita : Nalayak ! Tu car ka kya karega? Bhagwan ne do tange kis liye di hain?

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Beta : Break aur acsilator dabane ke liye. 356 Santa Singh Banta Singh se : Tumhen sabse zyada dar kisse lagta hai? Banta Singh : My wife’s mother.

357

:””””: : () : : : /“”””\ Yeh hai mera chota sa cooler.

Hawa aayi kya? Nahi? To aapna mobile pani mein rakh do fhir aaygi. 358 Kya aap close up karte hain? Kya aap confidence se chalet hain? Kya aap penalty bharte hain? “MOBILE” ke bill se darte hain? To aap SMS kyon nahin karte hain.

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359 Husband wife ki godh mein leta hua tha. Wife : Kaisa lag raha hai ji. Husband : Aise jaise bhagwan Vishnu Sheh naag ki godh mein lete hoon. 360 Meri taraf se tumko ek PAPPI, Tumhare dost ko ek PAPPI, Dost ke dost ko ek PAPPi, Aur koi hai? Aaj hamare DOGGI ne dus PAPPI ko janam diya hai. 361 Friendship is just like wine. As it gets older it gets sweeter. Just like you and me. You are getting older and I am getting sweeter. 362 Whe you get this SMS, send it to 1 person you love, 1 you hate, 1 you always think of and 1 you wish to kill. Now keep guessing why I send it to you. 363 Tussi Briliant, beautiful, smart, nice, genius, good looking, respectful, intelligent, kind, ideal sohne sunakhe gabru da SMS padh rahe ho.

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364 Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, small people talk about others and legends never talk, they send SMS. 365 What is the difference between a “MONKEY” and “DONKEY”? “MONKEY” wil read this SMS and “DONKEY” will erase the Message. What will you do. 366 Hum to SMS karte hain, Balance ko kum karte hain, Kud se SMS banate hain, Aap doosron ke SMS kyon forward karte hain?

367 Aap ne mujh ko dekha

Dekhte gaye

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Dekhte hi gaye

Fir

Fhir kya mujhe “ Athanni deni hi padi ”.

368 When you were born the heaven rejoiced, angels celebrated and God smiled. Aur hamne unko kahete suna “ Chalo chutkara mila “. 369 Kal ek sapna dekha ki swarg ke ek bade se hall mein bhagwan ne hum sabko

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apne paap likhkar dene ko kaha, maine likhna shuru hi kiya tha kit um chillaye – Extra Sheet Please. 370 Tawe par pada Popcorn uchalta kyon hai?

Khud baith ke dekho pata chal jayega. 371 Train mein ek machar ek Chinese ke sir per baitha, wo usko pakad ke kha gaya. Fhir ek machar ek businessman pe baitha, usne use pakad ke Chinese se pucha – khareedoge kya? 372 A Wife watched her husband searching high and low, all over the living room. She asked him : “What are you so frantically searching?” Husband : “Hidden cameras.” Wife : “And what makes you think there are hidden cameras here?” Husband : “Or else, every few minutes, how is that guy on television saying “You are watching the channel…” How can he know what I am watching?”

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373 Koi pathar se na mare mere diwane ko, Abe RDX ka zamana hai, bomb se udaa do sale ko. 374 If you notice this notice you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing. 375 1 – Smoking 2 – Drinking 3 – Charas 4 – Ganja 5 – Chicken 6 – Mutton 7 – Masala 8 – Oily food 9 – Sleep 10 – Pollution. Heart Attack. “Dus bahane kar ke le gaya Dil.” 376 5 great people : nahi. 1 – Charlie Chaplin, wo to ab rahe

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2 – Wasim Akram, wo kisi kam ka nahi. 3 – Aishwarya Rai, apni pahunch say bahir. Baki rahe aap aur hum so keep in touch. 377 Girls Excuses : Phone mat karo dear mom hoti hai near, Papa se lagta hai fear, Baat bhi hoti hai nahi clear, Isiliye SMS karo dear without fear.

378 You are very sentimental

1 % Senti and 99 % Mental. 379 Our relation is like 2 hands of the clock. They meet together for a while and ret time stay away form each other but always stay connected.

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380 Mujhe dard e ishq ka maza malum hai, Dard e dil ki intaha malum hai, Zindagi bhar muskurane ki dua na dena, Mujhe pal bhar muskurane ki saza malum hai. 381 Tapti garmiyon ki loo hai tu, Dosti ken am pe thu hai tu, Aai mere dost tujhe aur kya kahun, Dhule hue bhaloo pe chipka hua zuan hai tu. 382 Ehsaas pasine se hai num, Sholo se jhalakti hai shabhnam, Zara, Jal jal ke dhua teri yaad mein ho rahe hum, Jismo ki dabi arzoo mein jal jal ke dhua ho rahe.

383 Bhagwan : Mobile nirjiv hai. Simi ski aatma hai. SMS wo gyaan hai jo batne se badti hai. Atah he prani Balance ki moh maya tyaag kar nirantar SMS kar.

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384 Beshak kuch waqt ka intzaar mila humko, Par kudha se badh kar yaar mila humko, Na rahi tamanna kisi jannat ki, E yaar teri yari se wo pyaar mila humko. 385 Kaash dil ki yeh murad poori ho jaye, Aap missed call karen aur wo receive ho jaye, Hum karen bate ganton aur maza tab aaye, Jab aapka balance zero ho jaye. 386 Dosti means Priyagold “Hak se mango”, Love means Pepsi “Yeh dil mange more”, and Girl Friend means Gadhi Detergent “Pehle stemal karo phir vishwas karo. 387 Palkon ke kinare jo hamne bhigoye nahi. Wo sochte hain ki hum roe nahi. Wo puchte hain ki kwahab mein kise dekhte ho aur hum hain ki barson se soe nahi. 388 Vade pew wo aitbaar nahi karte, Hum zikre mohabat sarebazar nahi karte, Darta hai dil unki ruswaie se,

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Aur wo sochte hain hum unse pyaar nahi karte.

389 Arey arey meri yaad mein itna bhi mat robecause abhi abhi khabar aayi hai ki Ganga nadi ka level 3 cm badh gaya hai.Swimming aati hai na? Dub na jana. 390 I think you are very careless! You come and leave things behind! See now what you have left! You just came in my mind and left behind a SMILE on my face. 391 Each day with some one new, I look and never find another you. The World is full of people, I know its true. Yet no one could ever equal the friend I found in you. 392 Har fool ki azab kahani hai, Chup rahena pyaar ki nishaani hai, Kahin koi zakhm nahi fhir bhi dard ka ehsaas hai, Shayad isi ka naam zindagani hai.

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393 Santa Singh ne Banta Singh ko chess khelne ke liye bulaya to Banta Singh bola ek minute main jara apne sports shoes pahan kar aa raha hoon.

394 Yeh hai Shiv ji ki photo –

Dikhi ! Nahin Dikhi ! Papiyon ko nahin dikhti. 395 At least once in a day each person in this world stands in one leg. Guess when ?? Ans. While wearing chadhhi.

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396 Lady – My husband passed away ten days after our marriage. Land Lord – Lucky man indeed! Did not live long to suffer. 397 Message na karke dil toda, Ab mobile dafna dena, Kafan na mile to apna rumal odh dena, Koi puche rog kyat tha, Najaren jukake apni kanjoosi bata dena. 398 Rishton ki ehmiyat batate hain faasale, Par thoda tadapte bhi hain faasale, Dilon mein ho na duri dua karma, Chahen yoon rahe milon ke faasale.

399 What is the difference between a good lawyer and a great lawyer ?? Ans. A good lawyer knows the law and a great lawyer knows the judge. 400 Extreme limit of stupidity : 2 sardars sitting on a rickshaw and fighting for the corner seat.

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401 Sri Krishana ne Gita mein kaha hai ki kalyug mein ek karmyogi dost hoga jo sms karta rahega aur dusra papi sirf padke hasega.Hass papi hass !! 402 Bumper offer! Mujhe sms pe sms karo aur aap jeet sakte hain 10 lakh ki car ki photo, flat tv ka box aur Malaysia jane wali plane ko bye karne ka mauka. 403 My mobile Is not feeling well, Dr.Nokia said it is due to shortage in vitamin names “ SMS ”. Please help my mobile before it dies. 404 Aansu ko palkon pe laya na karo, Yeh baat hare ek ko bataya na karo, Log mutthi mein namak liye firte hain, Hare k ko apne zakm dikhaya na karo.

405 Hal e dil kuch is tareh hamari hai, Yaad tumhe din mein 100 baar kiya karti hai, Jo na aaye khabhi sms tumhara,

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Purane sms hi padh liya karte hain. 406 Husband : Today is Sunday and I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets. Wife : Why three? Husband : For you and you parents. 407 Human brain is the most out standing thing. It works 24 hours a day and seven days a week and it only stops when we enter the exam hall. 408 Question : Why doesn’t the India law permit a man to marry a second woman? Answer : Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence. 409 A mother makes her son intelligent in 20 years, but a girl can make him stupid in 2 minutes.

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410 I want to share everything with you : Your Joys, Your Happiness, Your Happy Moments, Every single second of day, Lets start with your ATM Password. 411 Girl : I think the poorest people are the happiest. Boy : Then marry me and we will the happiest couple. 412 Kash kushiyon ki ek dukaan hoti, Hamen bhi uski koi pahchan hoti, Bhar deti teri jholi ko kushiton se, Keemat chahen meri jaan hoti. 413 Kya tumhe mera SMS mila? Agar nahin mila to yeh lo – SMS SMS SMS SMS Yeh lo chotte SMS – sms sms sms sms Yeh lo remix SMS – SmS sMs SMs sMS sMs

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414Testing your blood ! Please Wait……. 33 % 66% 100 % Complete. Result : HIV+ Honey In Veins. 415 Teacher : What is the full form of Maths? Student : Mently Affected Teachers Harrasing Students. 416 A recent research has proved that all fololish idiot and lazy people use their thumb to read messages. Don’t replace the finger it’s too late now. 417 It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage Vs. Arranged Marriage. It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

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418 Birds love you, Giraffe love you, Goat love you, Elephant love you, Go to Zoo, They all miss you. 419

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