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Skilled interpersonal comillunication

Research, theory and practice

Fourth edition

Owen Hargie and

David Dickson

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LONDON AND NEW YORK
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For our late colleague, co-author and dear friend, Christine Saunders
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First published 2004 b 'l7 Church Road H y Routledge BN32FA ,Ove, East Sussex, Simultaneousl bli and Canada y pu Ished in the USA by Routledge ~est 35th Street, New York, NY

Publicatioll Data A catalogue record for this bookis available from the British Library

Bri/L,h

Library

Cataloguing in

by Routledge BN32FA oad, Hove, East Sussex 'l70 Madison A ' NY 10061 venue, New York,

n Church R

Reprinted 2004

Routledgeis an . . & FrancisGrou;mPrznt Of the Taylor

e 2004 Owen Har . Dickson gJe and David
TYJlesetin Centu RefineCatchL· .ry Old Style by Printed united Bu MPG Booandbound i~ G ngay, Suffolk ks Ltd Bod .reat Britain by All . 'min, Cornwall nghtsr eservedNo Part f . book rna be . or utili y. reprinted 0 ° this electro~ In any form 0 r beproduced now IC,mechanical r y any includin°\Vfi Orhereaft~~~ other means, Or in an gphotocopyin ~nVented, retri y mf0fnJar g nd recording in Wri~ystelli, ~~~~~rage ~r. ' from the PUblish:~~lsslon

Library of Congress Cataloging in Publication lJata Hargie, Owen. Skilled interpersonal communication: research, theory,~d practice / by Owen Hargie and DaVid Dickson.[Rev. and updated ed.]. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0--415-22720--8 (pbk) ISBN 0-415-22719--4 (hbk) . 1. Interpersonal communicatiOn. I. Dickson, David, 1950- . II. Title.

~t;~1'~~!~c2r33

20032002153984

ISBN {}-415-22719--4 (hbk) ISBN 0-415--22720-8 (Pbk)

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/11/11.'uhil'd indr: VII .". VIII IX iourth.\'1/11/(' index .\.Contents US/'It"ligIIIIS /-IS/ (I{' h(l. .jllllill XI 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Introduction the importance of interpersonal skills Interpersonal communication: a skill-based model Nonverbal communication Rewarding and reinforcing Questioning Reflecting Listening Explaining Self-disclosure Set induction and closure Assertiveness Influence and persuasion Negotiating Groups and group interaction Concluding comments 1 11 43 81 115 147 169 197 223 259 291 325 369 401 439 443 509 521 Ihh/illgrafi/II' . S /)''0(/(.

l hristine Saunders. er untImely death me: h1 ' eant t at u-r absence was particularly deepJyfeltas we put togeth thi lIT er IS new text ne would also like to acknowl dcet . fl wild. is reflected in a litany of studies and a host of theories. . individuals need to commune with others. . We also enjoy interacting.ltyIII ster. advice and encour 0.. 1996).PREFACE TO THE FOURTH EDITION absenceof our former co-author. Fm:' Jordanst?W!1 his skill i for 001. who have been support.I1I... unendinggood hurno cons nt source of ll1spiranon. and oclo~l. we also seek relish and obtain great reward from social interaction. As expressed by Afifi and Guerrero (2000: 170): 'There is a long history of research establishing the importance that individuals place on connectedness . t e evolution of·our cornmumranon programmes The ' e " book.roducmg some of the more intricate diagrams. While our dealings with others can sometimes be problematic or even contentious. 1950). especially close ones. Thanks alsoto mvov m. people everywhere have subscribed to the view that close. who century and she was a tant s o~ked \\ ith Christ 111(' for over a quarter ofa . powerful. support creativity and -------H' ur. > •• _ .' if we are unable to engage meaningfully with others. unhappiness and depression (Williams and Zadiro. or are ostracised by them. 2001). for all U1sihic Design Technician i~ I~~~ ~~ds of appreciati~Jl1 ~re due to Philip Burch. we are mdebted to our f n pl... the result is often loneliness. We behave differently in the company of another person from when alone..members of staff at the Universit d. > Chapter 1 r" Introduction: The importance of interpersonal skills ::if Owen Hargie and David Dickson [ordanstoum. . Communicationand Faculty f So ' e g~ the ass.. T HERE .' In other words.' The mere presence of another has been shown to be arousing and motivating and this in turn influences our behaviour . support and expe l' ~ven to the editorial staff at Routledge. lved . This seemingly mnate need for relationships with others has been termed sociation (Wolff. meaningful ties to others is an essential feature of what it means to be fully human. When we meet others we are 'onstage' and so give a performance that differs from how we behave 'offstage'. As Ryff and Singer (2000: 31) put it: 'Across time and settings. Conversely. ~elp.a process termed compresence (Burgoon et al. of Communicanon at the University of y. and universal need or desire among humans to interact with others.andcontribut dt h . individuals' needs for initiating. an at other centres. e productIOn of this text. developing and maintaining social ties. collea passed away on 9 August 2002 We :e.The stimulation a d ~ge~ent of these colleagues an' reflected throughout this skillsprogTammesare a~o ~nva u~ble feedback provided bv trainees enrolled on our A' ecogmsed . sPecial word of thanks is . and indeed the act of engaging in facilitative interpersonal communication has been shown to contribute to positive changes in emotional state (Gable and Shean.Wr. wisdom.lstance provided bv the Schoolof all th 0 cial Sciences U . " .. ll ' . Jove to susta'm us throughout th ami tes who p rovi ide d t h e necessary motivanon and .. 2004 INTRODUCTION IS A FUNDAMENTAL. 2000).y.

3 . n'iI' dev eope for getnng along with each other ~.. and effective managers have been terms:~ mter:toSOnaIskills (Clampitt.withoutthe capacity for sophisticated l represe:~nced human civilisati ngknowle~ge. since our ad s and channels for Sharie Or earnIllg. Argyle (1999: 142) source of hap ie for.Indeed. consisted of advice to Kagemni. Hippocrates noted how the patient 'may recover his health simply through his contentment with the goodness of the physician'.the general ~v~nfor many occupations ". In a re ~achon in relatio: tessIO~. Continuin: tb. b Punishrns the v~ry essence o~nwouldImply not exist. 'Practitioners who attempted to form a warm and friendly relationship with their patients. Likewise.The essence of communication thr epe~dent event generatedlO~fan identity. the importance for health professionals of having a 'good bedside manner' has long been realised. 1(7). hapter 2 and exploo~ur terchangeswith others (this issue is discussed m rCllln corom entia!. and reassured them that they would soon be better.elaborate strateaiesInprl". In 400 BC. 1999). and so the skills involved in hig~' 20?1). They compared the relationship between social capital and interpersonal skill to that between resource stock and resource flows in organisations. tiIOnISthat: . The formation of the self is not an o oug social interaction' (C'o l' anautonomous actor. or uncertain' (p. circa 2. the fairly obvious observation that some individuals are better social interactors than others led to carefully formulated and systematic investigations into the nature and function of interpersonal interaction.and the better able they Segrin and PI nee many di id ora (2000:490\ h g andrewardmg willbe their existence. while skills in interacting with others are one factor that influences the level of this asset' (p. Rather the self emerges the people \"IJ()Ver e are as a result of and~Iurp hy. nd Weaver (1998: 5) succi~ctlY ' a . Research by IVIends' J as sho h ' coPemore . The oldest essay ever discovered. were found to be more effective than practitioners who kept their consultations impersonal. and and b ~l). I' metho~ll1cahonis a prerequisit r~and su~tains the social milieu._e oping and maintaining & who ltved alone. They also showed how those entrepreneurs who possess high levels of interpersonal skill have advantages in a range of areas. concluding that. the academic study of interpersonal communication has a very long and rich tradition. A great deal is now known about the key constituents of the DNA of interactive life. 1. In the intervening years. But th ore fully. Thus. such as obtaining funding.. aIargie an~r. In recent years. the Precepts. ersonal ski more tangible children who d IIIrepertoire.tl'e record ofachievements owes a great deal to n co-ordmafmg Our interpefS(..ISto cornmumcate. Se otheIrclose personal relationships (Miczo et at. wh:ect' ~nt?at sOCiangnn (2000) concludedthat . Thus interpersonal skills are at the very epicentre of our social existence.2000: 125). Given this early focus. Interaction is therefore .consIderable advantages to be gained from repertoir ~~sh. written about 3. III People's live' wn o~ goodcommunication. As noted by Bull (2002: vii).000 BC.nu tri ent that nurtu moredeIa'i III Chapter 9). the USA and Canada that investigated the effects of doctor-patient relationships. the oldest book. Theoretical analyses of how and why people behave as they do have resulted in various conceptualisations of skilled behaviour (see Hargie and Tourish. nother Part of the ' mal behanors. e~s poor ~ncIUded:~~Ifhe s~ilIs appro~chstr~rs 111 life.lIlh_ess__ SPhere thnue m many ~alks of life after school. the eldest son of Pharaoh Huni. life. We ignore them at our peril. formal. Our t1hams (2(KIl: 7) noted that: 'Homo sapiens is a i a d IghlY. lonehness or anxiety. it was not until 1960 that the notion of communication as a form of skilled activity was first suggested (Hargie.' hen. Ildl ou. But the good news is that we can improve our ability to communicate. .675 BC. found that good practitioner interpersonal skills do make a significant difference to patient well-being. (l999~lves~tlls also perform better academicallf As S1. N~erous studies have identified attending In the bu . This covered a wide range of conditions including high blood pressure. 2001). being an effective interactor. othwithin and between generations. Indeed Segrin (1992: 89) illustrated how: 'The concept of social skill has touched the interests of researchers working in virtually all fields of social science.In reviewing the development and WIdelYavaiIabls traming is now ~o Interpersonalcommunication. and developing a good social reputation.To communicate effectIVely IIlterp ere are . Communication therefore s the remoenis avaIlable within thehuman condition. on speaking effectively in public.efits then conti s !Isas bemg most predictive of long-term school ~"'U1JlliI':S. and argued that 'Social capital can be viewed as an accumulated asset.000 years. or social. 1997a). lIt' (I • I d ' A . Pedagogical Luddites of today who complain about the introduction of the 'new' discipline of communication should pay attention to history. asthma and pain. Forgas a~(\:JI(ncis assumeda central role in human evolution the h! socIablespecies. skills pay to be less r~e~dIlYwith stress ts. we become further' the ess Ill. spanning some 5.(I~' t i! 7°s t: having a large network of contacts. .SKillED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNIC ATION [I )' " ' INTRODUCTION ~~ehy'pothesised r~son f(itInt... Indeed. until its resurgence in the late twentieth century.' ISthe rea&m '1m ind formatiIon and express for . maintaining good relationships with co-founders of the business. one of the harshest t penal systems is that of solitary confinement Thva of any possibility are to d us People have a de 0 Interpersonal contact.' For example.r earlyancestors who lived in groups were a. Di Blasi et al. this belief in the power of communication to contribute to the healing process has been borne out by research.sufferfrom'd~~daPt adJ. Th rewm:dso be gained from developing an effective t ~sed by ~v~lopgood inte~: ?egm 0rnan early age.kills have a SOcial robl reas IndIviduals ~competen~ p peopleare resilient to the III effects of COntributio when faced W'thWIth ~kllls experience a worsening of psycho.hc we nowknow that being SOCIallyskJlled ISa IS to enjoylife InPOSItIon:To live. it is perhaps surprising that this area was subsequently largely neglected in terms of academic study in higher education. yet it is only in recent years that it has become the focus of scientific investigation. Di Blasi et at.In other ' words. Those Ith ~igherlevels of skill have been found to W levels of ~~sY to .crises.. IlStenin r~ et aI. attracting quality employees. 'Communication is of central importance to many aspects of human life. are. is a treatise on effective communication. o so th e more satisfyin ep-seated d t~communicate. thist~eme. 760).i~teractive s. Baron and cajn referto the benefits that accrue from . Hybels.' This has occurred at three levels. (2001) carried out a systematic review of studies in Europe. since it is now clear that s. Furthermore.ust etter to major life transitions. and producing better results from customers and suppliers. They also have higher ?rophylactic~ew o~research. written in Egypt by Ptah-Hotep. I wi~h it w~re ~ore ~sed ~e ness.ICcess: The ~kills and social ki 323). in health care. Similarly. . d I I~ely to SUrvIve than In .. 2(00).

). or er to Illustrate thi .' Proctor and encompass the goals of the (1996:e~~:f In a wide range of 5 . '. e portanr part of this research and sch I . use head nods when B speaks. (1995.. skilled behaviours are goal-directed. While Camer system of behavior that . skilled performance is a THE NATURE OF INTERPERSONAL SKILLS In terms of nomenclature diff area. It and we succeed).utpour~ng of research in this field. ~n terms of as 'COm that" enable an indi~id 0 defined social skills a ~~the defi~ltlon given by aCCOml~htent . Once responses are learned they tend to become hard-wired or habitual. . defi rubon em ha . 1997). COMMUNICATION INTRODUCTION 3. '.:~:-~saker Dutta The term skill the behaviour ~~~d~e~n offered by other . conscious competence (we know we are performmg ~t a . satis. well-organized behavior'. . t r. This is also true of interpersonal skills. '. brake. cmg ehavior that will O''-<Iteror lesser View skill a . I erent terms are used ?ften used interchangSOClal 'interpersonal skills' syno~ymousl~ to. Phillips (~~~~~~e ~f the ~efi~itions that have a person ISskilled di . This is the definition adopted in this book. It is this level t~dentJficatlOn and effects of different Several approaches to traini at the present book addresses order to ascertain wheth~~I?t~ m co~muni~tion skills have been introduced in th . In his review of definitions of skilled behaviour. monitoring the effects of behaviour.~at o~ ~han what they are. in skills are used fi I IO~ISnot very informative h p oy ~hen mteracting with other '7 process that involves: something that . these actions are consciously monitored as they are performed. ese nghts etc. When we know how to drive. 'uh. implementing these plans. in a manner that r factions or obll'gat' aging the other person's . and finally unconscious competence (we just do it without thlllkm~ about. This d~fi~~' be . and so on. satisfactions With ?thers. etc. Thus ~nterpersonal skills. The terms' . and indeed one feature of skilled performance is that behaviour is often executed automatically. adapting or abandoning goals and responses comes. and utter ~ggles (hmm hmm'. as opposed to chance or unintentional. taking cognisance in the light of out- • of other people and the context in which interaction occurs. . anner that will be judged ese rl~': . apProaches. and use the skill often enough so that it becomes integrated with his or her behavioral repertoire. we no longer have to think about actions such as how to start the car. fulfils one's rights r e ~r she can communicate .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL 2... n this text we will employ y ll th to refer to developmental or a global sense entrate on the 'interpersonal' d a. reverse. that 'a skill is a ividuaj.to talk freely. These elements were summarised by Robbins and Hunsaker (1996: 7-8): Over the past twenty An im years there has been a vast 0 . inter-related. xact nature of the skills process. This. di id I IS possible to tmpro th . descr~be this skills'. and are therefore purposeful. m erpersonal skill" '. to a """'" ucunttrons tend to . Research has been conducted into the . ve e SOCialperformance of ese see Dickson et al. 18COllnotes Practical exSI~tions'. get feedback on how well he or she is performing the skill. 0 arship has mvolved an analysis of the To become competent at any skill. Hargie (1997a: 12) defined interpersonal skill as: 'the process whereby the individual implements a set of goal-directed.defined as the skills wee::pt . three terms interchangeably but or people. types of social behaviour. hu'. degree without d~ ~urrements. as will be discussed more fully in Chapter 2. the specific component ThIS the objectives f a I ities necessary . PT(X': and McFall (1985: ~~n~h ThiS theme is also fo~~~ ~ncounters. the ability to d on (2000: 86) stated that VIoural emphasis to 0 something. less than 200 milliseconds typically elapse between the responses ~f speakers and rarely do conversational pauses reach three seconds. Skills are the b ~l'~ to behave in a m s. wh extent. have opportunities to practice it. individual: 'Skill is goal-directed. however. The latter. the former is generall clinical applicati ~ncompass written as well as will tend to cone ons. a person needs to understand it both conceptually and behaviorally. adjusting.. A . ... Yet. with others in free • • • • formulating goals and related action plans.. almost can bens. For example. e m VI ual (for a review of th . As Huang (2000: 111) noted. reciPfOCatio he P sises the rna Schl n tween Partici cr?-elements of so .. First. if A wishes to enc?urage B . mterpersonal skills e~bly. It emphasises seven separate components of skill. The goals we pursue are not always conscious. For example. ) extended this beha~e. • 0 a task' lor produ' b . . 'the purposes people bring into communication have important consequences on communication processes'. m reviewing a number of accor mgto' the extent to which h . They are those behaviours the individual employs in order to achieve a desired outcome. Robbi 0 define skill in t ewhat different f mdlVldual may possess Second. As a result certalll elements. an d open exchange' opefully shares th . It iso~~~:~ ~mce it r~ally indicates what Attempts to deYfi homone country to anothe Ike defimng an aeroplane as In d' ne t e term . concluded th~tnt theori~ts.ated. can and commumc~tlOn skills' are hlle. when learning to drive.satlsfactor~ level). . situationally appropriate social behaviours which are learned and controlled'. A som s ~ abiltty that the .) periodically. been put forward b d~pomt It ISuseful to exam' prohferate within the literature.:il1look ~t ~. such as the exact choice of words used and the use of gestures. while Kelly (1982: 3) emphasised the dimension of learning by defining skills as 'those identifiable. learned behaviors that individuals use in interpersonal situations to obtain or maintain reinforcement from their environment'. theorists.' ?I obhgations to a reasonable ' Ions and h simi ar ri ht . In this instance these behaviours are directed towards the goal of encouraging participation. Ig s. refrain from mterruptmg B. During free-flowmg SOCial encounters. In the successful learning of new skills we move through the stages of conscious incompetence (we know what we should be doing and ~e know w~ are not doing it very well). reqUIrements.

Suchas fill' Idea of one ano her' Ing stations or fast f complexcontexts Such t er s goals and so ad tati ~d counters. teachers. The skill d i '. At a later stage. and another featur~ o~ ~oC1al cognitive theory. chlldr~n may walk. .. . troprzety. Interparty coordina . . you wanted your rattle.llubse~ead nods. parents encourage.the interactors have to spend 'UClgeI'. e. " and] . is that they should be under the cognitive control of the individual. skilled behaviours must b e~s IC20 al. The skill of talking to oneself in silence takes time to master.A may smil .. .. for example. Parents and other carers talk to them and ascribe intentionality to their behaviour (e. Thus skill involvesnot just the bT to i~plementthemsuccessfulIy~ I~?ctt. Greene(2000: 147): oes no ensure success.' I gUlstIcconceptualisation erac IOn IS that it involves narrativesdevgel I.w r er Imageof that action.sensi fe~dback IS crucial to effective performance (see Chapter 4 for a full discussion 0 remforcement).. and utter ggt en to contmue ki e mterpreted b B . t Ion perspectiv W'I em eractioninvolv d . aren't you?' 'There. et m order to a hi e znterrelated i th h more be . This process of soctallearnmg involves the modelling and imitation of the behaviour of significant othe~s. dancer.. ow effectiv . The function here is to bring the infant into 'personhood' by treating it as a communicating being (penman. infants are communicated with as if they can understand. at more macro~ev~s.actor or public speak m overt behavior . 2000).' at they can adjust and andas an~ agreeing mutual goals Fifth. hird. It ISthe enactment ). From' ar lCU context (H I ar n In erpretation of how illustratedhan Interpersonalcommunicat' 0 man. Indeed. of one'sown pI . spea mg. .mentioned previously when gum les.nthis . but also under1 . As a general rule. are composed of smaller behavioural units such as looking at the interviewer and answering questions. s Illsare defined . 1997: 28 lor~.g. those behaviours . such as in the adjustment In many routinesitu . like being interviewed. Verbal and nonverbal behaviour therefore represent the oxygen of the communicating organism. one s conversational partner.. sync omsed. For example. 'You are hungry and are looking for some milk. In this way. social cognitive theory purports that all repertoires of behaviour. r'or example as . the child learns.that are encouraged. while ten~ing to display less often those that are discouraged or Ignored. Each behavio I Y as a Sign of encouragev~ourshare this way interrelatedan~r re ahrtes othis common goal. In childhood.McRae (1998' 123) I' I son et al. in more ~e encounter so th Ishmg one another's age ~on. the child m~y develop the accent of his. a second major element m the learning of social behaviour is the reinforcement.AIn the performan 0 I enhfiable units of behm» . used. The development of interpersonal skills can be facilitated by training the individual to acquire these smaller responses before combining them into larger repertoires (Dickson et al. ''-''Kt: and motivation'(CUce of communicative behav' ehavz?ur. I. mutual smiles [hon IS evident at micr I I 0 their mteractive partner. as the child grows it is taught to read. . such as parents. havea good .. this technique is also used in the learning of many motor skills. uman rnt ti .and. Cleve a particular goal Thus . and employs more frequently. are learned. or her. As expressed by Cameron (2000: 86): A'sk'll ed' person does no t on Iy know how to do certain things. As a result they display distorted. needs to do. 2001: 40). In addition to modelling and imitation. talk and act like their same-sex parent. peoplein s . By this process. 1995). by significant others.' ~ .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTRODUCTION people are skilled based on how they actually behave. 2(00). th Slhe is acquamted With the stands why those things are done the way ey are. . 1997). Such as in the timing of ans to the apparent plans of e~e s. Skilled responses are hierarchically organised in such a way that large elements. el~own behavior with that f '. o ta . of these behavlOu. ee lin . from an early age. From the day of their birth. (2000: 136-7) S es a aptahon at all levels' peakers Coordinateth . 1~t(Mhe~ ~ words.Dickson (2001) ref:r: ~ tmee~the demands of particular concludedth t u. ki apt their res . siblings or peers. there is evidence to indicate that children from culturally richer home environments tend to develop more appropriate social behaviours than those from socially deprived backgrounds (Messer. disCourageor ignore various behaviours that the child displays.. ~'-'ll. At a less extreme level. ponses accordingly JI\1 IS reflected.each of these signals . In relation to the so proficientat certain skills in th ex~ a~ned how: 'Expert negotiators become consci~uslythink about using thes: ~~ITf:l~t~ng ~ocess that they do not have to p nature.20(0).~ mdlvldual adapts behaviou t si uatton In which they are being anceas co~~~~ ~ conte~ts. The final element in the definition of skills. with the exception of elementary reflexes (such as eye blinks).. but being able Whlc~ ~erfor~ed behaviorprove~suc~ce. of knowL:. Bandura's (1986). and so the i~ ~ ourt . pach and Canary. communication is central to the development of cognitive abilities.o formulate appropriate goals.despite the accent of parents. WeJudge whether or not . . and is predicated on the earlier social dynamic of reading with others. III terms f id . the inept athlete representationof what he hermay well have a perfectly adequate abstrac~ or but hat actually gets enacted is rather di Ivergentfromhis 0 hs e. It is now generally accepted that most forms of behaviour displayed in social contexts are learned. In this way. Children reared in isolation miss out on these essential learning experiences. The sixth aspect of the definition is that behaviours are learned. socially unacceptable forms of behaviour (Newton.rs when displayed by the individual. 'skill refers to the degree to . beha . t . atIons. structedthrou h d. This begins with the social process of slowly reading and speaking the words aloud. however. In their review of th ~ 0 this aspect of skilled performadaptation' land'tde ~ost essential feature of hISarea: White and Burgoon (2001: 9) .aozue and so can only be unsd purport that skill is mutually conop many p ti I erstood by a . 2002). didn't you?'). 2000). which eventually results in the child learning to read silently. peers and begin to talk in a similar fashion . I son et al. . look directly at B. at t ey are synchronised ~avlOursat the same tim D' the IndIVIdual will employ two or encouragmgB t Ik e. As actionmay not be so readily instantiated . skills should b . However an awarenes fl' t s as If the response becomes second Sore evant goals d t d' expresse by]. participants consid rabl ' as psychoth ap tion ISea H e e time estabI" erapy or negotiat' sy owever. 7 always occur without conscious reflection (W'l negotiationcontext. This is a very important step in the social development of the individual. e approPrzate to the't '.

:t 4. Skilled perform . while explaining is focused on in Chapter 8. y be similar but the actual words used will Se[l~olltrol. is investigated. the appropriateness of self-disclosure by the professional. As express db' mng w t t ese behaviours are vm a~~ Coakle~ (1996: 52). 1. namely negotiation. appropnare thought processes necessary to control ese e ements m mterpersonal en t A' . diS an. To con timue t h e analogies. personality. Reflection consists of concentrating on what another person is saying and reflecting back the central elements of that person's statements. namely reflecting. Finally. The skill area of influencing and persuading has attracted growing interest in recent years and this is covered ~n Chapter 12. ne o another. divid I but may not have develo ~~nt~:1 ua m~y have learned the basic elements of skills the utilisation of th IP . in that when to employ behaviours . te~m~pla~er will practise servin or ?eg~n~mg to master the skill. e. turn. If the. the style of praise used rna pla~ I~ emulated but not replicated. How these resources are employed is a decision for the reader. In Chapter 2 a model is presented..' . manner 10 which the perfor .thls ISfully developed. an alternative strategy to questioning. how to use them. the roles of those involved and their goals. The brand me~nmgful existence e extent on one's inter cti. 'Commu?ication ~kll1S combine with communica~or influence the entire process' dge information and understandmg . This illustrates how the appropriateness of behaviour is determined by a number of variables relating to the context of the interaction.' ~cross ~et persons.~ 0 beh~vlOur ISa very Important consideration. it is recognised that. ..& ns suc as the ti . pe rormance standards of th ' mo rvational orientation values and e actors as well h h . .leto execute a behavioural display e~mple. In Chapter 9. detlends to a very Iarg the SOcialWorld'.ISuseful for rememberin ance IS: g the key features of interpersonal • • • • • OVERVIEW O:mtrolledby the' di . given the situation in which any particular interaction is taking place. depen . Thus the ". and leading. not included in earlier editions of t~llS ~ext. other Important skill areas may be identified. sex. skill. Here the person watche h attention to other dimensl'o h s ot ers perform the skill.the opening and closing sequences are reviewed in Chapter 10. Two important episodes in any action . use of a skill is to achieve its skilled behaviours need t. etc. mance ISexecuted of skill is a crucial feature of effective social interaction. but they are generally regarded .Iity to achieve this 'place' in a ve skills. . Learning Just as crucial as lear' ha h . 8 Simon (1999: 66 . n Important dimension 0 desired effect. Techniques for protecting personal rights are discussed in Chapter 11 in terms of the skill of assertiveness. methods for promoting maximum self-disclosure from clients. in terms of what behaviours will be most successful to employ.central aspects of interpersonal communication. coun ers. while questioning is reviewed in Chapter 5. which sets the study of skill within the wider context of the social milieu. while th~ ~~n~ tthe S:rve where it is likely to find the Cleve the best outcomes from diffns er w.as being the. in practice they overlap and c01l_lplement.Illconsider appropriate questions luerent Witnesses . where the active nature of listening is emphasised. personal and contextual co diti Use t e skill appropriately across t enms player . The alTonym CLIPS' . The skill of listening is explored in Chapter 7. in Chapter 14 the skills involved in interactmg Ill.is addressed in Chapter 13. It is therefore impossible to legislate in advance for every situation.. l m IVldual' . T he fluent application ' I 9 .' It should be realised that research in the field of social interaction ISprogressmg :apidly and it is anticipated that. What is definitelv the case is that knowledge of the repertOire of ~kllled behaviours covered in thi~ text will enable readers to extend and refine their own pattern or style of interaction. . The information about skills contained in this book should rather be regarded as providing resource material for the reader. ' Integrated' Improves with . The skills contained in this book do ?ot represent a completely comprehensive list. small group discussions are examined. A related skill. Finall h ec ruque.to In:::k Zimmerman (2000)id~ntifi d f k e our ey stages in the learning of skills.'[I(.) Illustrated h ' d on finding a place in ow p~ple's own identi . then the ti~~mgf e ~vlO~rs.1 likeWisepractise questionin: t~ll. For differ. Thus a socially inadequat . of control relates to the timi fbh . Observation. as well as personal features of the interactors (age. since all the areas that follow contain nonverbal elements and so an understanding of the main facets of this channel facilitates the examination of all the other skills. 2.. while a barrister Se . This involves the act '. . -regulation. beginning with nonverbal communication in Chapter 3.SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTRODUCTION ~ne~al principles of the activity slhe is skilled in. The dis s ab. t e person learns to h . Pu . In addition. and mterrelated verbal d practIce and feedback S fposth' I~eand goal-directed' an nonverbal responses' ' moo mthe .earned behaviour that . and so is able to modify what e oes m response to the exigencies of any specific situation. There are fourteen main skill areas covered in this text. In Chapter 6. and second. At this stage the individual i to approximate that observed.as ow t e repertoires used vary mulaho~. here the ~~~~~nt s weak point. Whilethese skills are studied separately.). different Y. as our knowledge of this area i~creases. emp oyed ~t the most suitable juncture. Chapter 4 incorporates an analysis of reinforcement. ISconcerned with I' n I Ions. and also pays . This aspect of interaction is the first to be examined.. self-disclosure is examined from two perspectives: first.

What takes place when two people interact is presented as being undergirded by a ~ompl~x of . The activity IS held to be energised and given direction by the desire to achieve set goals and T range of contrasting HE COMMUNICATION 11 . in turn. . While this form of leave-taking might be perfectly acceptable in that situation. Having do~eso.rceptual.pe.But what precisely is communication. it will develop a skill-based. He g~ts up.Chapter 2 Interpersonal communication: A skill-based model INTRODUCTION PROCESS IS explicable from within a theoretical frameworks (see Griffin. behaving in this manner should be in keeping with the rules and conventions governing acceptable conduct in that particular context.Skilled behaviour must be appropriate to situational expectations . this type of behaviour may be thought of as an efficient and effective way of achieving warrantable outcomes. affective and perfor~~tiv~ factors peratmg within a person-situation framework. In sum. 2000). it is a? embarrassingly inappropriate way to finish off a rather formal interview. ruffles hair and PInchescheeks as he would were he with his football friends. as we have seen in Chapter 1. in any case? The first part of this chapter will be given over to addressing this question. A televised advertisement for a digital television company specialising in sport depicts a young man at the end of a panel selection interview. in terms of each behaving skilfully in order to accomplish sought-after goals. Furthermore. cognitive. Several features of skill in this sense were also outlined in the last chapter. What happens when two people meet and initiate a social encounter can be accounted for. goes over to the members and. theoretical model of the communicative process which highlights its transactional nature.

TV. he and the appraisali~te ?t Illformshim that the salesanCla stateme. and impact . 13 . .is spent ~'th ~tor of a h~ht engineering firm.nt. A _ _ s.e-mail. and conveys something of. ~).zhtf at one and the same time ubiquitous yet It has been portrayed as 'both' s rmg orward yet frustratingly prone to failure. e . materialt~:11. nd mterpersonal communication in a literature.people are dealt with as individuals.ut communication in In this book our interest is largely restricted to interpersonal communication. That over. and returmng to Mr Topmanin Box 2. meanings and feelings are shared by pers~n~through the exchange of verbal and nonverbal messages'. 20?O:37).?n arnval at work. the firm.meet~ngof the day with hi a.1 Mr 11 In simple terms. . '. carefulthought to the notion f .prosaic yet mysteriouso~ . added that this sub-categoryof communication accentuates the: • • • • • uniqueness of each interpersonal exchange . Ellis and Beattie s blurr~ and not altogether certain.0 cdo~rse. -. and workingda f ectivemanagement 0 h . takes place in a dyadic (one-to-one) or small group setting. etc. It hin~edl~h~teocal paper on his way to l localcommuni per cent of its workforce . compose 0 several senes 0 quite often less than completel aVI?UrS. boundaries that are rea~hmgagreement over matters of fos has crea~e? difficulties when it comes to attributed the problemto the t rmal defillitIon.) With this in mind. (1998b).1~e t~en dictates letters on ~attiS PA ?~almg with the morning's ch .return to defimtJonalissues later in this sub-section. makecorn ' . feelings. e ep one calls before personalaSSi~~ls~rdiSCUSS quarterly fi~exe~~tJveteam. ' Communication is a process I!~ess 12 - ----------------------~ Craig (1999) commented on a distinct tradition within communication theory of co~ce~tualising communication as a process of sending and receiving. It representsa phenomen th t ~ y I cult to pm down (Heath and Bryant. in form and content is shaped by. hich as a rule are felicitous but w (1986)described communicati~n~~ce:s. After lunch. the personal qualities of the interactors as well as their social roles and relationships. Traced back to its La . makes :~mesort of sense of what is happening. as examples.An article that he re d .may be on the verge shouldgo on release is prepared a:~tt ~evas~atmg effects for the preparesfor a vid that eveningto quash th ISdeCIdedthat Mr Topman morning with me~onferenced meeting that ~ ru~our. ~efore leaving he truly busy day and l~ ~~the National Group ~~I chair first thing next many and diversefo~O It communicationcen~ d anbagementEngineers. Hisfirst task 0 Mr ~opman.U1~osengren. tin roots the verb 't . rocee mg Wit the o d I h . comes to a decision as to how to react and Ponds accordingly. reports. 'to y tI1eOefinIhonsavailable in the current oprnankeeps in touch Communication eff . his firm'spublicr~I~~. 1995): 1 intersubjectivity . ~-~nlllgs reflectedin man 0(° comm. Some practical.he meets with ~ana~er has Just arrived for his work that mo e ~ Ions.which represents the extent to which a message brings about change in thoughts.. Brooks and Heath (1993: 7) defined interpersonal communication as.the managin ~ir and III ha?d. files. day-to-day 1 erent working definitions of human communical nOX ') I examp es of commUllicatIon at work are given III . n makes sever I t I h' his financial d . er this IVItIesthat can legitimately be subpublis. me~sages.1. 2 COMMUNICATION AND INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION As a concept. At 2. s ~nghtside who looks after the of sheddingu~~~~ad troubled him. Adler et al.. Consider part of the mailand _ . As viewedby Hartley (1999). 'the process by which information. self-disclosure that ensues' intrinsic nature of rewards stemming from true person-to-person contact. Thi fuzzy concept. this sub-type concentrates on communication that: • • • is essentially non-mediated (or face-to-face). Hewes.. As we shall see shortly each at the same time perceives the other in context. Commumcah~n eq~lresthat at least two contribute to the ongoing and dynamICsequence of e~ent~ m whIcheach affects and is affected by the other in a system of recipro~l determmation. From the plethora of options available. or behaviour. . interdependence of the interactors.communication notoriou I diffi is .which has to do with striving to understand others and being understood in turn. elusive.?I e.SKillED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION is accomplishedby the on' " circumstancesincludin fgomg momtonng of both personal and environmental the encounter'Beforepg. Thmkmg in this way of what takes place when two people share meanmg ~s a~so :tro~gIY endorsed by Heath and Bryant (2000).ll~Ic~te'means 'to share'. pp iers III the USA a d ers ansmg faxes some urgent aIrIngthe first· .hed fewerthan fiftee~o~~~edut tha~ the Journal of Communication has no o ~on. thinking particularly of relational applications. 0 commumcatlOn. e imes very subtle actions and beh . we can therefore largely disregard letters. irreplaceability of the relationship that results. t?hose represented by the other interactor sharing . Box 2. It is the sorts of processes that charactensed ~IS encounterswith his financial adviser sales manager and public relations officer WIth whichwe are concerned. wIth. new~paper~. _owever.f .30 pm. among ~thers. Holli and Calabrese (1998) sumed under rh: label and' vas range of activiti . two central themes have been distilled(Hewesand Planalp.we need to give more particular. (Wewill. 1987. l sam ti comp ex and brittle df .

however. Other codes are Morse. in the course of face-to- These different channels are typically utilised simultaneously face communication. co~mu~ication that goes in face InteractIon has been re y.partIcular means of conve i edia. which masks what is being said. Fiske (1990) described suggesting that media differ in the richness of information that they carry. and the process was held to commence Clampitt (2001)called 'Ar ~ message . O'Sullivan. sound waves. While person A speaks the effects of simultaneous Iy received.. the receiver. presupposes some Decodl'n ' horgamsed mto a physl'cal f nd feelmgs. gestural-visual channel which facilitates much nonverbal communication. row commumcatJo th . .ace. meetings. one .g. medium. The first of these . ' radio. Where ethnic or cultural dlff~rences Intrude. e. photographs. Braille. over simplICIty of this thinking about face-to ti cognlsed Co ' ime. More recentl the o _ . models of how communicatio t k I to the process IS fairly obvious. It refers to any interference with the success of the communIcatIve act thereby distorting or degrading the message so that the meaning gained is.configuration of ideas or aorte · Gouran (1990: 6) described it as. par icrpant (DeVito. Technolo 'a/). Each Communicators The indispensability of communicators ' .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Being more specific the com t fh " plest form. This is a good example of what di . ~t IS. to be made known must g ISt e co t orm capabl f b . French. Channel Differences between this and the notion of medium are sometimes blurred in the literature. is a code in accordance with which the accepted meanm~ of 'dog' is an animal with four legs that barks. nly.to t?e latter. DeVito (1998) talked about the: • • • • vocal-auditory channel which carries speech. 2000. capable of carrying pulses of light or electrical energy. meanings attached to particular choices of word or forms of expression can 15 Partners as Presentational . the voice f cl'resentational bo . ' they have just ex u~ erpan of encoding whereb e. in its sim. 1996). telephone. . e ta nchness is a similar concept. 1998. at one and the same the utterance are also typicall me~sages. Harwood.signs and symb?ls peculiar to that code and specifies rules and conventions for their use. cutaneous-tactile channel which enables us to make interpersonal use of touch. or th~ cont~xt within which participants interact. mmUlllcators are. . not that intended. Rice (1993) reported that face-to-face communication was regarded as more appropriate than telephone.n. In organisations generally. noise may originate in the source. one was when the former tran~mitted e eceuier. . requtrlng mformation' from B to be ". . ution. the channel. Yng the message. of these'will b~ looked at in ~~:. have been identified ~~~~n s 0.from the ~nique life experiences of the participants. In early designated the Source the oth:r ~~ ~ ac~ (e. ma~lfestation: thoughts a pressl~n. . message. IS therefore a' more accurate n ' . Corr y momtored by A . Likewise. ISPivotal to int presence afforded erp~rsonal communi' '. Code A code is a system of meaning shared by a group. Such ex n~e 0 internal conditions about be encoded or oural.e. Adler and Towne. The English language. or it may be mternal. for example. .g. di to A' s contnibuti espon f'mgly ' per son. 2000). It designates . etc. t e commu~lCatJve process. CD. Noise In this sense the word has a rather special meaning which is ~o~e than mere sou. channel noise feedback and t eludmg commulllcators.er to i form of behavi s expres~ themselves'. Media differ in the levels 1 2 3 R 'h beIng' l>' mehdlUm enables a comm . Choices as to the most suitable medium to use depend on factors such as the task in hand (Westmyer and Rubin.agean be th c ever it is th t ' ought of as the conte t f '. and Karahanna (1998' 161) this is psyc olo"'call Ulllcator to . . 1949). stemmmg . B' m I' . radio waves as well as cables of different types. ext (Gudykunst. 'a pattern h respo In IVldual . Shannon and Weaver.g. eing transmitted to others. oks. Message The meS-<. DeVito (1998: 16) described it as operating like a 'bridge connecting source and receiver'.lrectlOn. senders and receivers of .g. 'Channel' refers to that which 'connects' communicators and accommodates the medium.o. body. expenence communication .:d. voice mail and e-mail. It may be external a~d take the for~ of intrusrve Sound. . chemical-olfactory channel accommodating smell. the degree to which 'a . of th ' a commumcators wish to sh n 0 commulllcatJon embodying what· Whl'cho~gdh~. Its explamed by Straub cahon. y reCIpients attach meaning to what Medium The medium is the ' three types of m . televi!~n archl~ecture. Y present' M di . 1991. Fiske (1990) gave as examples light waves. penenced (O'Hair et al: 1998). Actually talking to someone face to face provides a greater richness of social cues and a fuller experience of the individual than e-mailing. The notio istening to A is also reactmg representa tiIon of the role of each 0 tisource-r eceiver . of SOcial . paintin ' >gtc mechanical_ e. A~ s~ch. 1998). for instance. and indeed the two terms are often used interchangeably.

ways t at match the physical constraints of their Then again. As such. and e Yllamlc and cha' a more transactional concepet aI.ial outcomes.unmtentlOnal facial exp:e. ' mmumcatIon takes place within inter.. any particular instance of an unconSCIOUS. But it sho Id seen depicted as e ti . umcatlOn takes place with' (Rosengren. Arbitrar~ in this sen~e means that the relationship between the behaviour and what It represents IS entirely a matter of agreed convention. Applying such conditions in their most extreme form would confine communication to those acts. . e~ erdISa . am I communicating? For some. . Watzlawick et al.ssion. Attractive girl 'catches' shy boy eyeing her legs. people in lifts often surroundings. ape aspects of th·· . perceived as such by the recipient. A class may be held of the diISCUSSlon be inftuenc on onday mor mng an d t h e vigour and enthusiasm . phvsical setting for what takes I ance. misunderstanding. ReI' i .cel~e an t~e Impact that It has had. There IS no obvIous. half of the chapter and more '11bO s~dllfulmt~ractIon to be elaborated III the second WI e Sa! about It then.. 2000). or can their reactions be at best described as merely expressive or informative? Are all actions communication? What if I display behaviour that I have little control over and do not mean to perform. Communicati . bl .anlI~al to which it refers. society or cult~re. r. (1996: 13-14). all encounters occ '. . mteractors can also serve to I' res prom' I' oug conun .recogms~d meanmg'. She eases her skirt over her knees. emales were more inclined to take the ~oatus re~ati~nship. Different sets of more relaxed restrictions ha~e been suggested. unless we impose some conditions then all behaviour becomes communication. Imagine the situation where shy boy and attractive girl are seated opposite each other in the railway carriage. . 1997). . has been successfully' . provides a behave in rather restrained p ac~ To take one example.Feedbacku~~e~~:~~m~tion~ to be adapted and regulated to achieve It plays a central role in the model v~tall~ Impor~nt to successful soc.. but equally significant framework for So far. could still be accepted as communicative.. shy boy blushes and they both look away in embarrassment. 'one cannot not communicate'. In a fasci et' as a result . insult or hurt Communication is inevitable Feedback By means of feedback the s d . should be the word symbol that represents the . on IS transactional As mentioned earl th . and (d) have . We can additionally thin~P~. Monitoring receiver a desired effect. Scheflen. (1967: 49) are responsible for the much quoted maxim that.e to Judge t~e extent to which the message reactions enables subs:. ". 1967. (b) are used with regularity among members of a given social community. m many respe t . To be m a context and is crucially influenced by it · more accurate co '. Rem~and (2000) additIonally argued that communication does not have to rely on an arbitrary code. Indeed the French use 'chien'. can d wor. for instance. The debate concerns issues such as communicative behaviour being intentional. so rendering the term 'communication' largely redundant (Trenholm and Jensen. Their eyes meet. ngIng nature of the process. Such codes are made up of symbols whose relationship to the thing in th~ world that they represent is merely a matter of agreed convention. in such circumstances. reason why 'dog'. causing unintended confusion.consens~allY . I IS ~o. Even Bavelas who co-authored Pragmatics of human communication (Watzlawick et al. provides a further frame or ationship pubIIC. ( u y unst and Tmg-Toomey. e eveloped sort Iy and will be returned to h This is a contentious point.W'II' and Briggs (1992) f study 0 f t ouc h among opposite sex couples 1D rna mg . n mescapable mst . sh u not be overlOOkedthat . Has communication taken place between them. ther ment y m the model to b d umcatIon. The concept of context e. Communication has long been held. 1967) later came to accept that some nonverbal behaviour was best described as informative rather than communicative (Bavelas. context ha b . late on Friday afternoon or early uMr within a temporal context. and being code-based (Knapp and Hall. 1998b) are affected by each othe . meshmg frameworks A . among married ~:n~ th~t males tended to initiate touch during l~ltJatJve. (c) ar~ typically interpreted as intentional. cators affect. adv?ca~ed that those actIons be accepted as communicative that '(a) are typically sent With mtent. to be inevitable in social situations where each is aware of each other's presence and is influenced in what is done as a result.. 1996). let us say. In a system of reciprocal influence (Adler .u:t~hlp while. accomplished by means of a shared arbitrary code. xer mg an mfluence on communication. . featu eir sItuation thr h c s. in each and every instance: • • • • performed with the intention of sharing meaning. cation as a fund Y eons~ such as Shannon an . This view has ~ message is formulated by the source stresses th d . geographIcal location. 16 But does the encoder have to be consciously aware of the intention? What if the decoder fails to recognise that the witnessed behaviour was enacted intentionally and reacts (or fails to act) accordingly? For many these impositions are too extreme and create particular problems for the concept of nonverbal communication. done by both in the full glare of conscious awareness. '.that constitute a d'~ a range of psychosocial factors such as mmumcatlOn.Nen way to . and sent to th am:ntally linear process A d Weaver (1949) viewed cornmun'' tualisation that receiver. Intrinsic codes that are bIOlogically 17 . 1974).S Context All comm . done with conscious awareness. I erent. Communi.g. Burgoon et al. 1992).SKillED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION vGaryd coknsiderably. by those theorists who adopt a broad view of what constitutes the phenomenon (e.k for mteractlon. Watzlawick et al. 20(0). for instance.

~a)gcedlalmed even the affective dimena!eglcfenterprise. negotiate social s ove). eXlstenceof uncon" ger et al.2(01). E goa strivings were l~r at It IS COmmonly accept ~ons (1989) summarised this e at people have considerable access to their goals and can readily report them but are less aware of the underlying motivational basis on which they are founded. lonelIness).some e~d In mind. . needs and motives.messages exchanged are seldom unitary or discrete. Similarly.e roles (ang . eness KIm rmatIve' p .. conscious awar e. It is possible. embarrassment). :~ Pivotal implication of . as unconscious'. . They rna ers or some purpose.' urpoSIve behaviour implies be far more Chaoti~~s ig~a~sdo not match the evid:heved that ~onvictions of the nce goals about which th t ~s if Substantial portio f .at they say and do. as discussed in Chapter 1. 636). Ellis. One concerns content and has to do With substantive matters 19 .' the goals of the communication being difficult to actualise or the situation being troublesome in some other way. remember that communi f g. Planalp (1998:44) an expre~sIve element that may be more agreed. That is. She mamtained that: people communicate th . control and awareness are central to general conceptualisations of communication as skilled activity. Communication is a str . o e 0 ar itrary relationship. It ISthis that both add . and realize . whether intenconn~ti~er~ps asking in SUbtlewa. '.rs fashi mus~ also be thought of as what she called In res~()nse to the goals that the Ion w . When skills are well honed. While intention. Communication is multi-dimensional 18 Another significant feature of communication is its multi-dimensionality . ge in mterpersonal communication we must s expectations for commu~~calt~nIb ghoal..ectIon and choice among alternative m. they want to effect mumcanon is far from idle . written when similar information was once new. Indeed. Dillard th~t strategIcall Whi! sion 0 commu' ti " difficult to ' y. for example do not share this s:~stype as Sfymb~toms f e~barr~ssment. operative Both H yare pursumg and ithi · ewes (1995) and B WI In the constraints that are performance pre erger (1995) argu d " d courses of . in which we tend to become aware of customarily nonconscious encoding decisions include: • • • • • • novel situations. Instead prior scripts. This would include. Communication is purposeful A~other commonly cited characteristic f . d are a so acceptable.. it seems that many wellrehearsed sequences can be run off with only limited awareness. s put y Westmyer and Rubin (1998: 28): To understand why people en a . order to get support (e g d bargaI~. s Impetus and provid d' . for intentional behaviour to be monitored outwith the stream of conscious awareness.. 2000). OJealousy).' mumcators are mindful in that that they can choose particular g g t~elr. . 1 e not denying . anSWer is in the affi .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION rather than socially based I . (1978). accordm t K I castmg commu' ti '. ~ 0 e lermann (1992) that it mea Ion as purposeful activity is. tionally or uni err emotions to oth f care r unmtentionally. this is a feature of interpersonal skill. (1981' 171) b .IS Its purposefulness som~ d~ired outcome. despite the fact that the. Circumstances outlined by Motley (1992) and Burgoon and Langer (1995). Accordi~ to t~~Owith . irected.~~~~ to I~t the other know how much they of action n. thus requiring reformulation.lon . concludIng that 'life would thinki b e smver w ns 0 people's I " . she maintained. deflect criticis'~ ~ahness. are stereotypically reenacted' (p. blushes being reco . communicat. In sum. They may communisocial bon~r. in other words. 1967. adJusted. 0 er reasons. .\ .' action. Those who take art dO. Consistent with this thesis. situations where carrying out a routinely scripted performance becomes effortful. conflict between two or more message goals. (DIckson. Burgoon and Langer (1995) explored the various ways in which language itself can predispose to mindlessness in its capacity to mould thought. UnicatIve act presuppose can.c ng y suggesting th '. Monahan (1998) demonstrated how interactors' evaluations of others can be influenced by nonconscious feelings derived from information sources of which they have little awareness. anticipations of undesirable consequences for a formulated or preformulated version of a message. They distinguished between mindful activity where 'people attend to their world and derive behavioral strategies based upon current incoming information' and mindlessness where 'new information is not actually being processed. e a similar point.I functional VIew of the phenomenon comt hi or aim ess but is condu t d t k ' o ac ieve a goal of some sort Abc e 0 ma e something happen . for another chance at cate emot'i~~t~eatemng social disruPtio~oi:~~ethe oth~r mto a different cours. mea Ion IS m some respects control. On the other hand it has been argued that much of communication is 'mindless'. some unexpected intervention (perhaps due to a failed attempt to 'take the floor' or experiencing the 'tip-of-the-tongue' phenomenon) between the initial decision to transmit a message and the opportunity so to do.. es irection to the transaction. ' attributing p sclousness? For SOmeth urposefulness to the Comm . commumcatIon behaviors to fulfil these needs. ey are capable of acknowled in .. commumcat. hey ma~ want to persuade ( orglveness and. Communication scholars broadl? concur that there are two separate but interrelated levels to the process (Watzl~wlck et al. to use the term employed by Langer et al. Interpersonal need~ establish d th Ion e aVIour Com . or for any number of thS arne. Kellermann (1992) argued vigorously that communication is at one and the same time purposeful/strategic and also primarily automatic. on an ongoing basis. supposes the possibility of sel . reinforce Does . But the Success of an encounter may be compromised as a result. Adjuste (1998 . describing communication as purposeful does not imply that ~he entirety of the communicative act must necessarily be prominent in the ongomg stream of consciousness. they can often be executed on the 'back burner' of conscious thought.

As expressed by Hanna and Wilson (1998: 1~) 'ev~ry commulllcatlOn event has some definition of the relationship'. It is not only the case that people with little power behave in these ways. speed of speech and a whole complex of themselves. define and redefine them ~Ich individual. But this IS seldom. ( oft red aVI~g III such a way as to get ther IS the term used to refer to the process srr:te . e Illgmco . is integral to the ongoing III turn.g. 2000). although a third concerning level of involvement or the intensity of the association also seems to be important (Tusing and Dillard. When people with relatively little social power. 2001).n 0 IS endeavour.tive effects.rs to ratify. a process durin :m~u~lca~l~n. approach IS talking about oneself and w·~ge~r (2000).an w at t ey are. These mes aractenstIc~. there are norms or implicit expectations. se f-aggrandisement or in Pt' I~ seen (or seen through) as a flagrant ve Impression be gra lahon it '11 b Chapter 9) created (the to' f' :VI ackfire and a less than Sue eedi . are defined by others as they. t nother level. Power is also implicated. interactors work at sending messages about t be' sages are to do with wh dh h . I. providing more self-disclosures. SIbleadvantage (le nveymg the right impre . this seldom happens.~ous ways are therefore fre tPllllOnated could well spoil the effect.n t~IS 'indirect' way. justifications. please' are functionally equivalent on the content dimension (i.su tlety Being seen as boastfule sduccessful. Brown and e ~mg presented by their ocused facework but are careful not m~~~ed to reduce t~VI?SO? (1978) analysed h~:tne~. As expressed by ?egotJatlOnof self. These two communicative dimensions content and relationship. I entity is not only so h' I eat~ m our dealings with oth me. It is widely agreed that relationships are shaped around two main dimensions that have to do with affiliation (or liking) and dominance. In a highly influential book Cfltlcism is an lIkelIhood of this b ' polIteness operates as a stratesr outlined how boexatnth ple of a face-threaten' emg. are complexly i~terwoven and interrelated (Knapp and Va~gelisti. occupying inferior status positions.e. orm e tOPICof conv f d .e.SKillED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION (e.f!Cdonand confirmation . interact with those enjoying power over them. the particular image of self Ba gies for mtroducing self as at. . Trees and Manusov') (1998 mg '-6 es are used In thO situation to mitiga te " IS " f o. n. . Status differences are often negotiated and maintained by subtle (and not so subtle) means. Burgoon et al. engaging in less eye-contact while speaking. using politer forms of address. Go~enal rewards as well as social benefits positive value I ~amtammg face which ca be (1959) emphasised the importance al10rs charact e . 1994). It could be pe~haps a confidence that was broken by a secret being revealed. For the quest to b OPICmto conversation have been analysed by l. often relying on the nonverattracti a. that they should do so. explaining the Theory of Relativity). think of what we do when ~r~ Ion an u~u~lly spnng to mind when we do when communicati A commumcatmg. being more hesitant in what they say. all that we relationship between thn~. The account is one mechanism used to this end. attempt ~e Chapter 3). . 1996) to manifest their increased 'accessibility' by. however. 1996). ? received and reacted to b h o. form the content of talk). o.e. 'Pass the salt' and 'I wonder would you mind passing the salt.and Street. PIC 0 self-diSclosure is fully discussed in . Such as ap rovr a. We Will extend this line of thought when we come shortly to discuss the concept of goals.t I~g that we convey but a reality that '~mlagement or self-presen~~~ith~s IS discussed further in Chapter 9). According to Wetherell (1996: 305) 'As people thr~ugh the ways in which ~a y makl~g themselves as characters or personalities SOCial situation. Accounts in this sense can be regarded ~s explanations for troublesome acts (Cody and McLaughlin. but once that revelatlO~ has taken place it cannot be undone. using more restrained touch. of expression adopted manicu d nd tOPICS avoided). the speaker obviously wishes the person addressed to make the salt available) but a different type of relationship is presupposed in each case. 2000). among other things: • • • • • • • initiating fewer topics for discussion. 1994. A d.al~ed for self _ a pUblic n e thought of as a statement of the to i ( enStically e expression of If ht o mvalidate the fac ' ngage not only in self-f se -worth. and excuses. These issues f th . addresses the and confirmation are ale m ertactodrs. verbal an d nonverbal cu sltuatio n. He observed t a ~hapter.. The two directives.. Furthermore such matters as identity projection so par an parcel of the interchange. se. is IT . St~tements h~ve rel~tion~l Significance and the orchestrating of relationships is typically achieved I. fr~en~s~ip and power. In this sen'd se ves.' In their choice of topic for discussion (a . 1988. and how they Wish hve their lives they are conti y ~t ers. hal cha . programme.:~SI~ll Sets of expectations are constructed around these parameters. Buttnv and Morr:. 'dentityp ro. Communication is irreversible Q Simply put. We can work at redefining what has taken place in order to make it more palatable and ourselves less blameworthy. thought to have happened Giving """. being asked more questions.ry. If the atte!u~n~ y utilised.' Communicatl' e~ reconcile and work with the raw material of their Coov d on ISat the forefr t f thi ~r ~n Murphy (2000: 125)' 'C . While the relatIOnship may become t~e topic of conversation (i. particular words and forms nonverbal behaviours and ch re ~cc~nts. although less conspicuous. if ever. This is not to deny that the personal and relational consequences of the act can be retrieved. In the case of t e 20 21 . (Giles . Possibilities include apologies. It can lead to m ss~on can confer several sorts of pos· of social a~ors aI. it has to be carried out less consp an self '. Relationship negotiation Communication also serves relational ends in other ways by helping to determine how participants define their association. the former have been shown (Berger. then. discussing last night's TV . once something is said it cannot be 'taken back'.

s~ to take place.. In so doing.fthe shared sl'tuat' . action . 'people are assumed to be actors hi I'Sdeployed in pursuit of . the effects of their a ct~l~e 'dPeo~leact purposefully. on tl " . Nevertheless. A Widelyagreed feature . • • . second. dyadic interaction IS +S! ation frame k Wh together and engage in c " wor .that. at one an d t h e same tiim e .g. The implementation of ~:tture of the process is 'SUCh~~'t e ac~e? out in the responses made.lbl·.. efft'(:ts .based on earlier theorising by Argyle (1983b).h '' depicted within a person ituati. -h of these components of the model will A more detailed consideration of each 0 'H' (1997b) Dickson et at.' anat each of the diiff eren t t potential barriers to successful commumcatlOn exis stages outlined (Dickson. Itlonal to this mediated f T n arnvlng at decisions on goal attam: De ()r. Accor mg y. information was extracted under threat or torture). :?' . Hargie (1997b) and s m et al. What transpIr'e ' an pu:sue goals In the situations within which they f hi s IS entered int ' I t IS ~ounts to little more th h 0 In order to achieve some end-state.by. 1998).a ey ta e steps to modify subsequent action " n ormatIOn In k' . the recipient. . yet Its IntrinSically sel~ve dcept~on IS therefore central to skilful inter. we will build on a ~~~~~.dd" e evance I '.tual model put forward b~ Hargie and Marshall (1986). persona mteractlOn. t Mediating factors Person-situation context 1 Feedba'k ~ Response A SKILL MODEL OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Having spent s ti I" k " orne nne out irnng ey characteristics of interpersonal communica tl?n" we ~~11 continu~ by exploring the crucial components and processes under. I a ISing these outc . racteristics that m k a h IS par y a feature of the particular attnbutes a e eac au' indi eters o. Not. The mac mery t' dh those goals' (Hewes.rr::e:":ect Person-situation context " ' n is artly due to participants and As mentioned.J Feedback Skill model of interpersonal I J communication j 22 By way of an overview. their projecte us (Dllrse of action will in tu b p an 0 actIon derived. at takes place when people come d ommullicatlOn ' tl ' an ch. . The interactive <Is feedback information of r al eac I~teractor. ormatIon st ' . (1997).even when Silent. Hanna and Wilson 1998).t. It can only be acted on if it IS I'na . me latlng proces .1 identifies six elements of skilled inter. emmmg from perceptions of self. senders an her: d ' "d IS. ". ses are operatIOnalised.These are: 1 2 . 1993. Thl~ mode~ presented in Figure 2. acting an re acting to" the ot er. " h' f 'nterpersonal communica'T' di k ' ith cogmtlve t eones 0 I 10 sum up. . endowed With complex menta 1 mac hime ry . the. that they are sensitive to ' c ion. Further information can be found margie . ' cter of communication.SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION latter the untoward action is attributed to the intervention of some external influence ~e. an in eepmg WI and to have goals" . di I . hi mque In ividuaj. Per a~al ~ Ie.nd themselves.ah~ce. the . In a quest pilS<. eeplng Wit the model. It should be remembere t a . pm~mg skilled dyadic (two-person) interaction. now be presented. rf ' . bot~ pa~ticidue to the dynamic and changing chara d ivers of Information. (1997).d . Ion Wit In whi h th fi '. t individual responses. . Each rece pants are. even to reahse the adopted goal edit ~ pleasure to be had from conversing. the personal 'baggage' that they bring to the encounter.' era uated ' and ad' eCISlOn a If' ornes may be formulated . as has alreadv been I' d rests on three baSIC assumptions. the model ' .n. these actors are tion in general." e s rategJes for actu I' .) ') r Mediating factors . in reacting to the other provides ment :\. is represented in strategies to e ac IOned . an third th t th k ' 111 the light of this I' f " ..re It overn action.. 1995: 164). and partly due to the param.1 1 Perception I L=. ~y .People establish of ~oClalactivity I~ that it is goal-directed (Fussell and mteract. The first IS that. This plan mediating processes the outcome of whl~~ 1S a p a~ ~t ~nment in the prevailing of action.Hargie and Tourish (1999) and Dickson (200l).enabling monitoring O:CI each has a direct channel of feedback on Y lie feedback mak '. ~reuz. CCUrac\'ad' ""ll an subject' I Withsta d' n miSCommunication (H' t Ive nature often results in perceptua n mg. .. and to recapitulate inf III o. I At 23 . what takes place dunng interacno P It includes their knowledge.IC. Figure 2. . 1999a). d d in accordance with a complex of Situation and the other interactor IS CO~SI e. deemed to maximise opportum~les forbgoa a thereby determining circumstances. actually' es lfilormatlOn 'I b ' . ~ Response person-situation context goal mediating processes response feedback perception. once information ISIII the public domain it cannot be re-privatised.

' . events and how to behave in certain situations' (Augoustinos and Walker. regulate the interaction that The physical setti . .. Agam. e cost of this type of generahsmg. . ~haring a set of generalised attrib~tes (Oakes et al.. emotions. mdividuais find themselves' I di Y parameters of the situation within which for example. . E~ch IS personally unique.le stances . ' . Personal eharaete. Fiedler and Bless (2001: 123) defined a category as a groupmg of t. to abide by certain norms and behave within set parameters of appropriate conduct. Having relevant information on which to draw is invaluable when deciding courses of action and pursuing them. " Interaction is also cO-deter~i~~~~ Ie from them. and to adopt courses of action based on the anticipations which such schemata make possible.wo or mo~e distinguishable objects that are treated in a similar way'. and Interaction patt e Interactive process' dge. occasions. e~nng on behaviour. and happenings inescapable. We .:tionintWI.ocial hi hi ' h nt areas of their socia .esslOn. "'y d them I W It operat f se ves. 1994). e walk I th . Whi. "h f '1 to appreciate the comp e e e. It would simply be chaot~callY overwh~ln. the implicit rules yt condonmg certain actions and co~ uct themselves m these circumstances will. mg processes. c~tegory that you may use to group particular social events With features . Indeed. and anticipated reward d .pans lOners on th h . concerts or public meetings. . . . 0 e ucati 1 now edge b li f . fundamental to any contemplation of skilled interpersonal activity. Different types of schema (or schemata) have been identified (Fiske and Taylor.IS a.the mdlVIduals involved h h ghly restncted situation mean that regardless pnests h . 1995: 32).we st~ucture mformation about others and impose meaning on the sO~JaI w?rld m which we operate. 1995. The complexity of our social worlds makes ~ategonsmg peo~le. hi or 0 actrvity will be entered into by dictatin h b . 20(0).having to do with our knowledge of ourselves. an turn th . h occasion The ' '. We WIll 1Il which th~... and our social world is therefore inevitable. values. It caIn leaddtodthlel a I' . and the cognitive e adL: clOSelyinterrelat:e:> ~nd Planalp. d ultimately led t n e woods' approach d em mto a much more relaxe SUmmitmeet" 0 t~e end of the 'Cold War' a ?Pted by Reagan and Gorbachev that mg t at typified internationalwals I? stark contrast to the type of formal re ations.Ig y elaborated category systems than ot ers to represe lIves . t IS not only the case that personal can lea~a co~tact . yet th' IS loner m the f '. mea rve process (Kaya and Erkip 1999' Demirbas These SOurcesof inf . characteristi d s: uence are bI-dlrectio 1 I . social occasions such as ordenng a meal or buying a newspaper.07- • • • • • self-schemas .the former th ~~ene.. based on occupation. role schemas .. mb ' .ll~g to treat everything we encountered in life as separate.tha~ dIstmguish them in important ways from other social events such as lect~r~s.~rve to redefine the social 'tuen~IOns depends on It) and can also. . . frequently encountered. causal schemas . event schemas or scripts . 0 people and the circumI Sared commumcatIOn codes. how these are . ' e ie s and attlt~des (indeed the to dispense . ' e. Some people though ha~e . con emning others. surroundmg tai '. mit meetings etc d cer am situations such as t e .. has pote ti I tc ng IS a further constr . '. goals selected. social roles. personality attItudes erns. IS " . .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION motives. 1987.. . .enabling us to form judgements about cause--effect relatl?nships in our physical and social environment. rlstles A compI~x of personal . race and so forth. Meyer. fin World and ho . ifi n I~ euects on interaction H a~mng feature of the environment that ~I~~)ecant mfluence on the comm~ space IS organised and adorned can exert a n rmirkan. Knowledge can distinguish be ~rocesses by means o~e? w~at is known on themory. ifi blvi undIfferentiated manner. to selecting and implementing a considered strategy.involving concepts according to which we expect people. But placing people in categories can have a negative side. in respect of goals pursued.. Thus participants may decide erview sum . 'Party'.can also effect cha~ee a . un olds. m an . b g _ow oth parties should d' e ot ~r. during " ~ an SItuational factors h ~a . stored and retrieved from Knthe latter WhenWe ' It ISonly.resp~tIve roles offered by this hi con . b mp a e .(self-~oncept) and the beliefs that they have . .. on the other (H hich Information is d the one hand. the social categorisation of others. ' on t e one hand and . as organised sets of knowledge about features and characteristics. a pnest and a par' hi mg role dem an d s an d the rules that pertam. together with hes. The way in which formed about their abilities to emse vdes. · The related concept of category has also been used to explain how. What transpires success' f mdodificatlOnsn individual kg s 1m mteractors.e~oded.muc t e same s t f ". person schemas _ facilitating. attitudes e . for mstance. as em ers of the group are regarded uniusti a y. the customary formality si atIo~. it is drawn on at every stage of the communication process from identifying goals that are likely to be within reach. We would find it impossible to function in this way (Brown. sele(. motIves. 2000). Take . and used to interpret current events.' me u . Involvement with others i . 1997). These include: . through making sense of the situation and the actions of the other. and ~motIons shape th ~actors ~ncluding knowle' .representing the sequences of events th~t characterise particular. within limits ona and counselling interv . IS t at we at 25 . 1991). they have come to regard th I xpectatlOns and dispositions. This may include general expectations about people. p~rceptions... Psychologists and scholars of communication have made use of the notion of schema in explaining how information is organised into a framework representing the world as experienced by the individual. a Iso deterrni etermme the sorts of succee m vano us typ es 0f enterprise (self-efficacy)will encounters conte ltd pursued. Ih teri ti s are neg ecte an a pp ication of stereotypes whereby mdividua c arac ens IC.al.owledge of Our ~~e to diSCUSS media/ IS relevant at this point. uniquely different and dIS~I~ct. of. In these cI:cums~ances mdividuality suffers and people or events are regarded as being lar~ely mterc anIgetabl Th . gender. A schema can be thought of as a 'mental structure which contains general expectations and knowledge of the world. . Categonsmg others. .

. sex. together with situatlOnal forces. d that they have the abiliti e ermm. that attitudes only define a tendency to behave in a particular way in respect of an a~t~tude object. regarded motives a th . either positive or negative.en attitUde and actual behaviour.t f Id stances are at th t ti e assessments of h . 2000) and the extent to which they determine what we do (Terry et al.reflecting how one feels about the target..ls'. e 0 eave m accordance with them? second question is bb . full consideration of these however. J>Osslble pProval fr ongmg and intimate' a which one IS part. lese underlying needs' h . yon t Scope of thiIS C h apter. ac owar stem III a belligerent di gresslVe reaction th t fi . to influence behaviour (Brigham. I erfrequenCleS of gaze at ea ess. 1991). . Aronson. drink. Attitudes Our attitudes are another highly significant personal characteristic that impacts on interaction. Judgements that are both g. It is these mtentIons that ?Irect~y lead to behaviour in line with attitudes (we will further examine the relatlOnshlp between attitudes and behaviour in Chapter 12). sh . I' mtr '.ted. : feel in COntroland to be have. ). Furthermore. 1991). The. Goals are taken to . d tio f . ibed motivatIOnal implications (M the mteracttve process and therefore have deS<. OVerslon IS one dimension along which 111 IVI ua s ca . there may not be a direct correspondence bet~e.behamoural control (the ease with . a range of physiological and safety needs can also be thought of as determining what we seek from our environment (Maslow. According to the theory of planned behaviour (Ajzen. apes mteraction with the environment and the a I I yore . and behavioural. A long-standing way of thinking about attitudes (Katz and Stotland. 2000). contribut bo h di pro a Iy easier to a h inhere e ~ ~Irection and impetus to n~wer t ~n the first.go on to explam that of goal-dir:t:d e~ goa. GUirdham (1996) ny accounts refer to th . gements of self-efficacy Wehave alread. xJ>enencinga sense of Isplay competence . dh t istics of an individual that rsona tty IS the complex of unique traits an c arac er .~ t. asons why goals are formu099. Persistence to aChi~~:~hat ~eep ~helr behaviour in c. etc. But what are 1999) having to do w~~ ~~mg concerns have be:~ h ?~~~s m directing our activities e need to: Ig Ighted (Deci. self-worth.. III one's strivings. a sense of bel a?le to predict events of' . es and resources at hand to mdlvlduals concerned believe lated in the firsi } touched on some of th succeed. In any situation. engage 111 ow • 26 27 .. id nee that mtroverts ten to ns or communicative behaviour. e notIOn of need (e g Ryan et ai II ' 111 turn that s e mternal . bilit t late to oneself and others. Just how these attitudes are structured (van Harreveld et al. values and other attitudes. 1959) is in terms of three constituent elements: Motives Why do people do all the things su e tnteraction? Why indeed tak g~ s. 1954). Attitudes interact with other personal. event or indeed any attribute of these. at our stereotypes sometimes lead us into erroneous and biased' (Tourish 1999' 193) . '. For our purposes. AI ·'d tifi d F r example extroverSlOn. If we aggressive we may t t d hern i .w Ich d t . indi id I n be placed that has Imp ica. mvolvement with oth making e .goals reilect broad u d ~esponses to needs. however. I may have a particular attitude towards my next-door neighbour such that I believe he is jealous of me and out to do me down (cognitive) which makes me dislike him (affective) so I avoid his company (behavioural)..0 course are ne . not all attitudes are equally accessible or held with the same strength of feeling (Bohner. " . There IS some eVI e . ensurin th . and so precipitate an ag' .e part m mteractio t II? A ers would take us well be d h n a a..SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION uniqueness of the whole person. They hav~ been proximity t hei of their time doing thi . 2000) are topics of ongoing debate.w~ich we feel we can accomplish the behaviour) and subjective norms (our appreciation of the pre~ailing expectations regarding that behaviour and our moti:atio~ to comply) are hkely to shape our intentions to behave accordingly. Iscussed further in Chapter 10).lo~e received most an eh~vlour and this motivational e~t IS.). ge er with . ey mclud reCiatton of a ..as we have elaborated this model of skilled matt '. We are obviously motivated to meet our biological needs for food. vane y 0 externa an l?1eto goal achievement to °tWhon?uclve environmental circum(Sandura 1997)a h c . mastery and di ers... o vital and related issues: I Why do peo I d 2 Having don: e a ~Pt the goals that they do? so. 1992. charactenstlcs including motives. For example. arge number of personalitv traits have been I en meo. " Such stereotypes may be widel hi' ' '" mdlvldual (personal stereotyp ) St y e d (social stereotypes) or peculiar to an regard all red-haired people asa . th ey can be scaled down to tw e .l1 as 'attr' aes and G bh d 'people spe~d m:~ors by . thereby 1 2 3 cognitive . object. additional considerations such as perceived. who .contributing knowledge or beliefs about the target in question which may be a person. ~essanly translated into action. internal factors They ~re depends on an ~pp .an Important characteristic Not all ennon ~o~ researchers. way. w y do they continu t b h . Indeed for some this is the most important attribute. at Impel us to estabr h n erlYI?g motives. therefore. I e ect IS perhaps the one that has Wh h goa aSpirations f et er or not th ' .Ca~verand Scheier (20~0' . 2001). exercise om them. Dillard With others? Three d t. < . Note.()) believed .having to do with one's predisposition to behave in a certain way towards the target. a con rms our stereotype (this IS On a broader front. 0 '. in liking or disliking. Personality Pe I" . ereotypes can also become self-fulfilling.the extent to which' ~u. affective . make more frequent use of pauses. 1996 rst place Ma e proposed re -. and to protect ourselves from physical harm. sp k I .

motivated corom . . Diminutives .being impatient or assuming the person's needs are already known. s reatenmgly in a fit of road )Vlng em ti Communi ti j~d 0 lonal state (e ~ Ion . speaking more loudly. ~avourablY when nonpatronising speech was used._L .being dismissively familiar or patronising. ~ Intertwined.the other..acting superciliously. Overly controlling . secondary baby talk (BT) has been found to be a feature of carers' communication.g.g. such as a nap. as 'little' (e. . • A-. these's orage. -in UClng corom . 1994. . mterpersonal dIstances (Giles and Str g emotion and prefer to mteract at greater To take a second example h etet.ways of making yourself heard and understood (e. Avoidance . females compared with males. p p e tend to be hard-drIven..discussing the older person. duri person' . 'to explain th Ie~lstence.. Berger (1995' 163) ~ eVOld of any sort of emotional serious atten~ re atlOnship between cO~if IS adamant though that any attempts obviously cen:l to ~he relationships amonlvecpro~e. ers (e. Porter and Samovar.conSCIoUS. revealed thr h ' w a are known as 'T' . So f Simplification strategies . 'love' or 'dear'. ). time .. s SPIrits') emotIon in oth uUlcation _. Regardless it . Just how constituents. :~ L.how we feel from how processing. Older people tend to have frequent contact with health workers. 2001). . using repetition).2 for examples). KUPperbusc~ e~ngoIng debate (Metts ~~~ ~nd cultural determinants. and with exaggerated intonation. InvolVIng w d son cnes after bei or s and actions that trigger ng told a sad story). such that younger speakers may tailor what they say in keeping with this set of beliefs: one example of this is a tendency to use simplified or patronising talk with mature adults.' s rocess. Clarification strategies . ussbatun and ~ Ion talk has attracted conorms of speech that OUp!and.g. These. Box 2.«m·manijesting h~_ er and act th . . and style of information communication p en ed three way . often regardless of the level of personal competence of the receiver (Grainger. ce em and. ImpatIent and aggres . With that in mind (and other things being equal). and social mu I~ns of. .-. or describing some thing or event. ar It might seem that 0 .g. . I e:::~on. 'Just a teensyweensy bit more?').. The elderly can be seen as patronising. Likewise. short sentences. Picking up on cues denoting advanced years can activate a stereotype suggesting incompetence. mt~n?ed. Does communication in this context.SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION ~heirpartners. 1994.. competitive. 1997). These eo 1 ype 1. dear'). ver swears at anoth Ing behavIour driven by underlying 2 &no. etc. ~hould not be overstated nor should it be 'assumed that they apply to each. predISposes to coronary heart di slv(e An element of hostility in this complex also ' suggest d th Isease S b 2000 tr ' e at Type As have a tYP' 1 oe e. 1999). ~re less accurate at encodin' . 1995).mterpersonallife and h ogmtIon.a per .one dri unlcatIon . retrieval judgm' ffecbve states have been shown to D'l) processes ar f' ental proces I ard (1998) id tifi e. decline or senility. ncast look enabl es the nurse to make . on th ough. physiological f 1998. .talking as one would to a baby (e. and ev~ry llldividual (Coates and johnson.. emotIOn operates th n ndersen and G consi era le attention from rero. staccato loud vOI·lca(Rspeelchtyle that is fast.1-..2 Examples of patronising • • • • • • • communication with the elderly Emotion . pe~sonahtles may be . mformation. simple sentence structure. Demeaning emotional tone . slowly.L ouc:r I>eop) . ~d what we think lsarate the affective and the ~s ~I~ely acknowledged that we mfluence enCoding' t put by Bless (2001' 392) 'A ogn~tIve . therefore. however. is a matter e one h~nd. Some research findings have pauses and a hard.. 2000). with a relative rather than addressing them directly.g.using a simplified register as one might with a child (e. Secondary baby talk .. includes calling the person 'honey'. ha. rage).\' .includ' . ~Ianalp. ow~r. Knapp and Hall. completel d IS argely of completely rational. lCUlar . affect and action'. . b . namely through' In whIch emotions can be involved in the &: . 'It's time for a little nap.'"""«lUI mt surround" commu'" "<:\fuently sub. Negative stereotypes of older people seem to be at the bottom of this way of relating. reveal these same trends? In working with institutionalised older people. 0 course highl' ses.. err ehav SI""ICIOIe no-. uneven with short s . The relative that each 28 of Participants wil .g. basic vocabulary. 1997). for mstance. in their presence.' ge~ents about that .. towards 01.. recipients themselves felt that BT was more appropriate for those WIth IImlt~d independence. mmulllcatio (A as attracted id b .sses and social interaction give g scholars of co to . Age Hummert et al. a patIent's dow g InSIghts mto a person's under01l0lioll . and the contrib u:r other.proc· ur view of interactors' 1 dimension to the:sl~g automatons. but that levels of cognitive ability of the elderly were also influential in making these judgements. e and ISSUes WayS In which iour and the expectations are f. bon (e. typically: 29 .g.iect Iest (for examp) NIng Inter'gener ti illcatlOn IS used by and e ed to Simplified f e. Affect is . P: related finding was that while recognising the positive affect message often. (1998) and Dickson (1999b) have described some of these features (see Box 2. 1998.providin '. ou~ v~al cues.: Gender Differences in how males and females communicate verbally and nonverbally have been documented (Ng and Bradac 1993' Knapp and Hall. La Tourette and Meeks (2000) discovered that elderly both m the community and in nursing homes rated the nurse more. on the cannot completely se al. Part' I ! Influence th . more restricted range of sentence patterns). 1995). 1999).

con~ersati. Many of these will be familiar. A more highly differentiated analysis of social situations. but particular situations will also place constraints on the goals that can be legitimately pursued. Honeycutt et al.. smile more and are more faciall . When Women diSclose bemg ~old about some personal concerns and an ~d get froI_llother Women)pe~~onal. do so. require a more formal speech 2 3 4 5 6 nal factors 30 It will be recalled ProVide a COntex that personal chara .men 0 not. decor. ' ske much they say and how the talk is regulated (RIchmond and McCro y. Women. Situational concepts. where the action is taking place. It is perfectly acceptable for two friends at a night club to wear revealing clothes. more educated accents). Situations are rule-governed. lk t h 0m how they feel how mg. may.' are more adept at both encodin y'agestJcular!y and vocally expressive. they primarily strengthen interperso~tandIng reaction. We have al. the person and the situation 7 t 8 Physlcal environment. we will now turn our attention to an analysis of the situation.. Some..SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION • • • • • • interact at closer interpersonal distances. Men like ~ ave admitted in surveys th ac levements.Males and females expre:ltthhSuch bald generalities. males and females ~te With work published b T problem or difficul(PlcalIy respond to 'trouble t~k' ~nn~n (1995) who analysed how t'xpect (and tend t v.. feel tha:SCUSSIng practical steps ~om~n see women wallowing in their t~ff~:rt. 1 Goal structure. in part. predicaments. confirmation of their br tack. Mels type of ta. from what has already been said about the personal characteristics of situated individuals. (1981) will now be briefly outlined. attach meanings to events. Language and speech. what is happening. Roles. are more tolerant of spatial intrusion. to or offenng advice. . . mstmctJvely respond problems rather tha~~?mm~U!cation is SUchth °tsolve It through giving information !~eother hand. such as having a casual. as mterested m such things. Ac/tuatJo~a. Summing up Ar I (199 ' gye 5: 87) asserted that: women Score higher on most of th ponents of social compet . Were such behaviour transferred to a lecture it would be in strict contravention of the contrasting rules that pertain in that situation. Rules. Several attempts have been made to delineate the essential constituents of situations (Miller et al. as men do. M· head-o. . is that offered by Argyle et al. however. gestures).women are uot as i .. finer iI Of course one must be careful .than others. have deeper insights into th . etc.on. Not only do we seek out situations with goal satisfaction in mind. Score much higher on empathy and on have better verbal skills ( ess . be subject to change as a result of interaction. There are linguistic variations associated With social situations. sing. ' ma~e greater use of eye-contact and touch. . . women listen to this when Th fi . about their h.':nce1ve of SOcial e : communication. ver a y (smile a lot more. ·fl· omen are found to be more rewarding they and more uent better ' are more expressive non b grammar. h e other [apart from assertiveness] commeasures of co-operativenence.n In an attempt t n. 31 . . eir re ational goals (Burgoon. on to ( Itlerenc('Sin several ch Ion IS shared equally Wem ~nd are not prepared to make the apters. particularly Ch e Will return to this issue of gender Situatio apter 9. t:. Frustrat~e~ don't understand th so ve them. 1994). gaze more. .1 factors operate to g cOil]omtly they determine patterns of co JlSOdes. As encapsulated many women like to talk about thi about feelings· d ngs. Inde ~ ~~t. (1981) and elaborated by Hargie (1997b). derived from extensive research. fonnulate n uct. 1998).lk ~erv~s. In many situations interaction may unfold m a quite predictable sequence of acts on the part of participants. Both features g~: s. again emphasising the close interrelationship between these two dimensions. The physical setting lllcludlllg furmture. Ii ht- . 1994. when we introduced the notIo~ of a sc~ema. The elements delineated by Argyle et al. Again we have discussed this basic idea ~f lll?IVlduals possessing knowledge which enables them to make sens~ of situations and perform appropriately in them. Situations have goal implications. layout. This refers to the range of behaviours that may be called on for the situation to be competently handled. Repertoire of elements. g I n~ decoding nonverbal messages. There are (often implicit) stipulations that govern what is acceptable conduct for participants. They identified no fewer than eight key features of the situations within which people interact. for example public speaking. style . Suchas cars· wo . ~owever. . Having identified a number of key personal features that operate.ling the probler: bonds ~tween friend:. ' ey would rather not. and exc::. I Dlmbleby d B ry s emselves diff I· an urton (1998:64): erent y m language. In most situations individuals act in accordance with more or less clearly recognised sets of expectations centring on their social position and status (see Chapter 11 for further information on roles). dance and sh~ut.ready mentioned how people often function in highly routine instances according to scripts. often mfluences who ta sow. as the' h U e~selves. Sequences of behaviour. ese ndmgs reson . Perhaps the simplest is that by Pervin (1978) who proposed that the key constituents are: • • • who is involved.enmg ear. . within limits. g 2000). how)leo 1 ~l baCkdrop fo ctensbcs and si . Many men like to talk to talk abo t th .

g. while n cultures score hi h '. ea e va ues beli f dh. Oettingen and Gollwitzer (2001) pointed out three telltale qualities of behaviour in pursuit of such outcomes. ' -operatIOn and h . Rector and N . 1996). ~1''"\. compassmg not 0 I hf commullication but beyond to th d I' n y. touch u wfl others. e amount of respect dd . Inter_~lturaf~~mmumcation shapes culture (Gudykunst and Tingdifferences in language en I er~nces therefore run much deeper than possible . III the COll""'~f I cul ties surrounding touch by lhaptll 0 a~ . let'~ the~e may be gend. Some of the most significant elements will now be considered. (}()c. . Selectivity . but particularly in <II . These no rms govern how people conduct them. nonverbal codes (Burgoo es. 1997). the nonverbal channel of values that give it form Wh e un er ymg social order Itself and the meanings and together.courses of action adopted are ones likely to reduce the difference between existing and desired states and effect a successful outcome. Samp and Solomon (1998) identified seven categ?nes. e myriad . the goals that we have in mind are mental representations of future end-states that we would like to make happen. muc o.th Different ways of analysing and categorising human goals have been suggested (e.indeed all the pain. represent a shared world Res ti .stance. gaze patterns . In Muslim ~~~:Xample.Ford. • through I . 1992. Indeed.the degree to whi h lif . cultural back round i . are quite different in C~?ncepts like self: and the relationship between self Cultural influences perm tma clompared With western countries.a course of action will be continued until the goal is achieved (or Appropriateness abandoned. . Austin and Vancouver (1996: 338). 1996). c ne s uncertainties can be controlled llt/Certamty avoida Task and relational goals One of the assumptions underlying many goal-based accounts of human endeavo~r . 0 a ph .lS of culture' fu YSlca examination of a female tit't" ·1 ~a~i~ considered the III ture chapters.' task·centred h' . °h communicative process In vana es ave a beari tu . p mg to use different language codes to .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Culture At a broader level.. . customs and script of a group of people. facial express' mme punctuality. The former defines what is to be attained.I Ill<tle he~th worker. . s Cultural and sub_culturaal ~ bWlay flife.c. These dimensions This concept has already been introduced in relation to motives. manage the conversation. cope with emotion. 32 sc Imty-jemininity . and often c~ncurrently (Dillard. on mdividual!S' b those from Latin A .. ways III which th . imposes disp~~va. Goals • • • Persistence . it is not only that th en two people from radically different cultures come ey may be attem f . F. of goal behind communicative responses to problematic events in close relationships These are to: 1 :~f 2 3 4 5 6 7 maintain the relationship. ~~~s th~t forbid male expressions ~atll'nt.the individual is attuned to stimuli associated with the goal in initiating and directing behaviour. II G . ma uli ~ annIng and foresight. 1994. pee rve social wo Id th gina y. Machismo ... . accept fault for the event. se 0 gestur rms deter .. '''e will return t say. 10 enca POwer distance. 33 . diffe t .. under exceptional circumstances). I "'C er . r s emselves may overlap only marand other. armolllOUs relationships. Following Berger (1995: 143). ~ o~g which a large sample of different national were: n amental values espoused..uropean and N rth Am . s lerarchy. asive ~re cultural effects that h ' ie s an c enshed practices..this has to do with h . in their ~omprehenslve review.r~n POSItIonson a statu hi an eference displayed by those in ~ndwldualism--colle ti .Ions.~)) dlSCU~sedth on power di sian countnes are low . we can think of goals quite simply as 'desired end states towards which people strive'. . . g on mdlvlduahsm and low on m ut high mencan and A . nee . t IS that mdividuals are typically striving to actualise a mu I'tip I' ity 0f OUco mes In ICI their dealings with their material and interpersonal environs. classic study conducted by Hofstede (1980) groups could be plotted in respec~:. Indeed so understandmg of their social Id ey can be thought to shape individuals' entire exposed four underlying dime~~r s.1996. 2000). t e relatIve focus on competitive. ac levement versus co . restore negative face. II IS tune to In Pl'rson-situat' OVe to e I on ion Context f xP ore the other co 0 communication in some mponents of the model.. earmg on t he different ~features of the e rli T?Omey. s or a feature of the collective group to Content and process elements Maes and Gebhardt (2000) specified that goals have content and p:o~ess properties. t • • • Power distance . the latter addresses how this ISto be effected and commitment to the objective. Istance G d k communication.the extent to hi h ' wh' h c OICesand achievement w IC one s identity is shaped by IC o~e belongs. ao (1996) outlined how . Here we will extend that discussion. ensure positive face. avoid addressing the event. Illdividual hoi c tnsm . . u y unst and Matsumoto At another level I ese cultural dimensions influence sdves in interaction . perv . Put another way. I (. argued that 'single goals cannot be understood when Isolated. " Culture can be regarded th g oun ~sa highly significant contextual ising factor.~turaIlY prescribed no dl. Remland. from other goals'. interpersonal III Hispanic cultures f n. Austin and Vancouver.

' possibly abandoned or alternative means contemplated. Health care s wnen ace can be ised " embarrassment. Tracy and Coupland (1990~~ \~r about the multJ-dlmensionali~y o~comtions ISthat between task eo ls d e ieved that one of the most basic distinc . a('('Ountfor A. governed sub-goals.s I ~entJal In what we d flexlve. p I(it and expl· ·t . ~ost a Certainty . 2000). 1998). JUS ment to changmg CIrcumstances rat er an predetermined plans. While inftthls ~ut :ather operate i~ a r~ld a~tIculate the~ with little effort. Berger (1995) also identified metagoals that over -arch more specific instances.ed d unng gynaecological examinations I' other forms of cognitive I' . and to achieve the objective by the most economical not to violate prevailing norms and social appropriateness expecta tions. if asked coactIon ~re readily available to us.. These circumstances. . y Furthermore.mansed by Lawler (1991: 195) 'Skill is peopl' k ns uct a context h' h i . du " .resultmg in shame or ff awkward embarrassment h umour eing used ' as a face-giving strategy to stave " o b ave ' " (R agan. satI~ es the commumcator s e feelIng of satisfaction when d"g. 1999). III any social-' y s~arce cognitive resource. t e assertion that interactors are typically pursuing several goals at the same time.u.. automatIc manner (Bargh et " . and neuropsychol 'een report .s' a an face goals L ti 1 It may be difficult to satisfy both and o~ re a ~ona goals. ess. ' . estimates of the hkehho?d of various anticipated courses of action being successful in this respect. primary and secondary goals may be at work in specific interactive episodes (Dillard. and so on (Locke and Latham. is ultimately a feature of the anticipated satisfaction of particular motives and the needs that give rise to them. with some being more widely encompassing than others (Oettingen and Gollwitzer. Primary goals are the ostensible reason for the interaction taking place. ~unic:ation. Dillard (1997' 5' sa efault optio Wh actIOn when faced with par:~~sness. outcomes reported by Waldron et al. stances a d COursesof ' .e Given that consc' . 1990). maintaining face). ' . L' . . ~he~upervlsor may reward in order Istnbutmg largesse. al 10US aWare . Instances of h b' compromise . Goal importance Austin and Vancouver (1996) mentioned importance and commitment as factors take. . t' tomes are achieved others ongomg assessment and repnontIsmg as cer am ou c . At th e ere.' Will be implicit f that. how they l~recommended ar~' at communication scholars need )en-tent OCCUrs'. include the partIcipatIOn of the interactive partner.. ~~~eractlOn situation.~ .an d t 0 h and Ie other people's bodies. ' onsummat "pervlsor may d ' g. . Secondary goals span different episodes. . In certain situations presents a myriad of occasion h f yet be vitally Important to do so. ". possible costs which may ensue.a stipulation Instrumental and consummatory goals Along similar lines Ruffn and those th ' er and Burgoon (1981) talk achievesam at are consummatory. This theme is common in the literature although some authors have countenanced more complex arrangements than others. discussed bean mg of emb " . Carver d programmed t an Scheier (1999) licuk1r' 0 automatically t II Suggested th sets of circum 0 ow certain at we may even be preto addr. actors involved. ss will change durin h that goals at the focal point of g t e COurse of most social-interaction rUrthermore. and as Clrcumstanc~s alter (Bandura. In t hei mves tiiga tion of goal management ". exp amed by Berger (1995: would find these more difficult to ~. . Shah and Kruglanski. .. 1990: Wilson et al.. 1997· Shah and Kruglanski 2000). These include quests for: • • efficiency . 1m . (1990) was the greater importance of ongoing ad' t " h th the deployment of fixed. Dillard (1990) believed that a three-level structure was adequate. y Meerabeau (1999) As I ar~assment m fertility treatment are required by the nurse to co tr' apt y sum.e ot er ha d isfi " to experience th v~ Intervention of another en.SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Referring back to what was said I' .of them and. in turn. itiona] ISsues around th h dli mg a memory clinic (Saunders 1998).) C e further outcome (e g a su . IS the need for a prioritising mechanism to regulate goal selection. . of course. Declslon~ reached about goal selection and commitment depend very much on the psycho~ogl~al value attached to the accomplishment of that outcome.g. shaping and placing constraints around the pursuit of primary goals (e. 'I tr one of the most striking nng contnved conversations between mam y s angers. The value or vale~ce of. 2001). 1990.an outcoIl_le. projected immediacy of gratification. ogica mvestIgations of patients with dementia and Add' " mpalrment attend' . giving it meaning and setting expectations and responsibilities. couple? Wit.. We ~11. esna ednessandgenitali t dr m w IC It IS permissible to see other a. More weight is attached to some goals th~~ others.ness IS a relativel '. several goals episodes. arriv 34 35 "'!411 .. how long'th ISSues of 'When goals exist in cone mome t ey stay db n Wehave few an ' an y what mechanisms this swers to such questions. There must ~e some form of ' .n into account in goal setting.ntal goals are carried out in order to . ' ' eir I . oun essothers . It IS l'O~sciousawaren~r the. ' Hierarchical organisation Goals are hierarchically structured." goals ~)me of t?e goals that we ' tire conSCiOusly aw try to achieve in inter ' Notall goals are lik:re . . It IS these that have most impact on action at any particular juncture.oalwith t h ory communication on th h rewar effort to mcrease productou t e acti ' .h h One implication of recognising that goals differ in importance.a requirement means.as has been suggested. Instrume ed of goals that are instrumental ivit\. ' . with broad motives leading to goals that.

1988. . d lyre se to swap hift . of course.. recise. 1-" precisely articulated in asseSS:b~ommonly ~ccepted recommendations is that they be e terms (MIllar et al.ter:ns ar e generally under the immediate control of goals at this goa sl must not be lost sight of. decision-making."\ wants to fi d e III direct . Cognitive processes Discussions of the cogmtrve processes that make interpersonal communication possible can be readily found in the literature (e. oa s may be either: ° f. 1995.s..her ' to listen)' . Response generation . . one wants to off-load. we differentiated between these processes and the sorts of knowledge structures discussed in the earlier section as instances of personal characteristics. . There are five sub-processes leading to an interpersonal response that they regard as particularly salient. • • • . tnterventlOns one of th e I entIfieatIOn 0f 0b'jectives for educational or thera'. In terms of th' '. The processes that lead to the pursuit of a certain cou~se ~f ~ction . or plans for action.the storage of these representations in memory and their subsequent selective access as and when required.of overriding importance here are the strategies selected t? bring about targeted goals and objectives.h . Organisation . s ma e. e exam~le g_lven IS of a personnel officer to reach a proper deci l::an .erm and short-term go 1 Th " interviewing a job art Th a. se on the tOPIC). processing and evaluation. It will be recalled that. counter and what transpir G 10US and extremely Important implications es. doing e h are striVtng to achi h off I d ac may coincidentally th eve t e same or similar goal but in so fOl~ about their partner trouble)~art the other (e.g. abo tit ngs. that Argyle (1994) regarded as the essential contribution of this stage to interaction. Possibilities of resp?nses sometimes being 'mindless' must also be acknowledged. c problems while B is determined not to similar . and the selecting of action strategies.and implications about the nature of the encounter. as we have seen. Mediating processes These processes mediate between the goal being pursued. or between how decisions are arrived at and how they should be :nved at. '.. the communicators and their relatIOnship are also important. . level and betwee e mdlvldual. 1998). . make introductions and ask level although lon~. In the sequence of steps leading to a particular course of action being generated. our perceptions of events and what we decide to do about them. goals differ in their level of concreteness/ Th' a jurnor nurse may hav I e specific and preci . ecrsion as to th 't bili '. and Jordan. and deserve further attentt?n.decisions to respond are shaped by inferences about the implications and consequences of that action. Some may be quit . the other \ ose .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION Temporal perspective Dillard (1997) mentioned a tid' . or to po I' e asfu goal to be more asser tirve m transactions with ot her a . Assumptions .s more cognitively demanding than others. itely but firml is . 5 Semantic encoding . influence how people and events are perceived and reflect the capacity of the individual to assimilate.one's goa I mayb' . self. We can distinguish between descriptive and prescriptive models of problem-solvmg an~ decision-making.the interpretation of messages in keeping with available semantic concepts and structures. An appropriate relevant questions Acti e 0 we come the candidate. Hewes and Planalp. . as must the influence of emotion on performance. Level of precision Carver ~nd Scheier (2000) noted that '. Kreps (1988) outlined information organisation.Wyer and Gruenfeld.g.the arranging of information into mental representations of the person.disclo n out abour B's romanti OpposltIon!o that of the other (e. both friends want to U:'mClltarv . h' I' empora imension to goals This together with h· lerarc lea orden " keeni . IS forfeited in fav~ur Of~~ and Petronio (1998)e:~b~gIC management of embarrassClency. Nelson-Jones (1996) recommended a rational approach. e goals are comp fbi opp' . thing. The key steps to e followed are: 37 . ot h ers vague and mdetermmate. abstraction. e principal goal directing this activity is. deal with and respond to the circumstances of social encounters. . Those involvmg mmdful probl~msolvlllg or decision-making are particularly challenging..are somehme. Storage and retrieval. 1992). for example ~~etagoals in relation to t~:es and t?e next (Maes and Gebhardt. short-term goal might btl e SUIa ility ?f the interviewee. staff ..g.d' a I e (e..g. Conflictca I 2IXXl).ln diSCUSSi~ goals at one hierarchi~ ~ so ~ake place between goals at a similar ~t. or event. 1987. in keeping with the thinking of Hewes and Planalp (1987) and Greene (1995). They also.. IS m eepmg with the views of Hargie (1997a) when talking u ong. It is these action strategies. SIS Wit [o the next time the request ueuti ic. n the context of tbe id . Kreps. .here both t:. P amed how social appropriateness 36 .' Us . playa part in the formulation of goals.. Inference processes . . 1 2 3 4 Goal compatibility How the goal for the en s tnteractors relate has obvi . Wyer and Gruenfeld (1995) have deliberated on the cognitive operations that enable strategic action to be undertaken.

. time perrmtting.g. stances can be logi 11 d . Given the inherent fluidity of interaction.this includes recognising the need for a decision to be taken clarify. individuals rely ~n knowle d'ge of their performance together WIth outcomes that may have accrued in .a plan should be formulated in which goals anticipated and Sourear Yfstated.how one of difficulty an~ . or 1 entIfied.try to thmk of as many options as " {. that their translation into action will be flawless or indeed successfuL Jordan (1998) described slips and lapses as errors that can occur. 1999b). of course. 1997).:en~e. .we can be sure that they are underor Ibnlstance.the belief in one s might be seen~s th y I~Plement that strategy.e ac nowl d . as well as visually (to a certain extent) and aurally (albeit WI 38 39 . . this plan must always be tentative and open to revision.g. emen s 0 se -e cacy . script-like formula may produce relatively ineffective social action'. actors to bear in mind. constrtuent tasks broken down difficulties . ers ave to do with judg t f If ffi . IOn possible Without any attem t t thi . Oth f ~ ementatron IS one of the Important Wemove on to conside th er eatures of Implementation will be taken up when ~4ssess consequences ~j ::"etonse element of the modeL ImprOvedfuture performanc~. For example th s expe~lenced and the role of interpersonal t e meanmgs th t b happy tended ow Iwe feel ate h' time. The former J Feedback Feedback is a fundamental feature of communication and without it prospects of skilled engagement are denied. There can be no guarantee. e 0 e course of action selected should be '. stereotyped rituals. ne Important consequence. the probabirtl f th g '. they tend first to adjust low-level elements of the plan (e. 2 I~g what exactly it is that is hoped to be achieved. implications for face . a we attach to events may e while thOSeWho ocate causes of relational co1~4) ?IScovered that people who were were sad looked to int nfllct m external and unstable sources ernal and stable alternatives. through mternal recep~ ith mUscles and joints. ability to succ full . DeVito (1998: 14) defined it as 'messages sent back ~o the speaker concerning reactions to what is said'. 'Forgas ( to .metacognitions play a part. Select an option . . Having acted. Generate options and eathe r tnjorma ti . order to reach decisions as to what to do next and alter subsequent responses accordingly . Who emphasised the interpretive dimension of the process. .) 7 and sub-goals are cl lv easum .c~ stresses the strategic and interactive nature of communication'. together with vocal aspects of speech. Unfortunately this is what sometimes characterises encounters with professionals.others. already been referred to is that which identifies the verbal and the nonverbal. where interactions become ossified in repetitive. two sources o. .. IS mvolve. . ces 0 supp t'd . CZSlon . and lapses are planned actions that are left out rather than enacted. . By reflecting on the positive and negative pnon accor mg to thes iteri h b . perspectives 0 h' ems. 'reducing the actions necessary to reach social goals to a rigid. of the decision. For Heath and Bryant (2000: 76).reflecting on outcomes leads to Plan how to implement th d " The compl " .1. f The In th'e model presented m FIgure 2. (A fuller dIscussion of nonverbal communication will be given in the next chapter. of course. Skilled communication must always be adaptively and reflexively responsive to the other (Dickson.b eXltles involved at thi su lett of much speculation I IS stage of cognitive processing are still the represe ted " ' n any case t . for instance. to the CIrcumstance~. but persist.. t e est option in the circumCommit to the de .ors in more direct channel acknowledges that we have access. is pursued Oth y °h at course of action successfully achieving the goal being . volume or speed of speech) rather than more abstract higher-order elements (e. fCZSlOn .SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION C:Onjront.this sh Id b d . Slips are actions that are not part of the plan.timing of im 1 '. gathering additional information which can may be d rawn on. e en ena. While the important end product of mediating processes is a strategy or plan of action designed with goal achievement in mind. verbal communication has to do with the purely linguistic message. Berger (1995: 149) argued persuasively that. with the actual words used. In order 0 Interact SUccessfully we must' b 1lOW others thi k e a e to thi k b . mentatzon . . and personal costs . when people fail to achieve an interactional goal. Responses Plans and strategies decided on are implemented at this stage. mediating ca " (. . and being ope. between th ~aclt} In Illteraction whil gnk ttive and affectIve elements that serve a e iwo svst . A common categorisation of social action. A further mediating role of emotion on behaviour identified by Wyer and Gruenfeld (1995:38) is that of reciprocity.' III and how the n a out and form an opimon on . p. Andersen and G e gmg the close interrelationsh'P SChematain thn ow and When emotion i uerrer~ (1998) explored various theoretical colOUredbv h e process. . .both internal and external. While closely connected. ImPlement the de . ot er or. and one that has.~ y an systematIcally revealed.including the amount features of each 0 et·ort requdI:ed. Projected advantages and disadvantages If o eac nee to be thought throu h 0 . . general strategy) (Knowlton and Berger. . ~) dISCUssed both co '. The way in which :es~~g about making sense of the world that th~Y JU gements along these lin es are encoded by skilled communicators WIll es. By this they mean that 'individuals appear to reciprocate the affect or emotion that they perceive a communicator has conveyed to them'. feedback are depicted. ~ IS pomt to evaluate their chances of success. AHecti¥ epl'OCesses Bargie and Tourish 1 . '. Nonverbal behaviour encompasses a whole range of body rr:ovements and facial expressions. 0' 3 responded with active strategies for coping while the latter were more passive.here resolv t th . Thi '. merely carried out in the presence of the patient or client. . 'Fee~ba. or actions that are planned but performed out of sequence. .' n In this brief overview R' . According to the hierarchy principle. strengthened. ou e one WIth consideration for the anticipated c~nseqhuenceds each were selected.

. no~ve~b~ :o~~snonvocal and. 1993). Skilled interpersonal involvement can be accounted for accordingly in terms of notions of person-situation context. takes place each membe . goals pursued are detern:med by personal and situational factors. . skilled . unbiased obi et~e that we perceive and observe other oWes as ' ~ec Ive w . not all information Inforrrmtion bo . ~nherent1y personal and ultimately ob:. of those who have deliberated on the topic. purposeful. no Immutable r li ' e attnbute qualiti ea tty of the othe Ulllque wav w .. . ~ hen commulllcatmg with others. IPlents F th Ions t at wk' atlon but tend t 'fi ur ermore. mediating factors. about the particular or the general. mediating processes. and central elements of the person-situation context. n>n • Ihon to Pe . in interactive arrangements.ve assumPtions th~ bl~. CONCLUSION The ability to communicate is not unique to humans. We can think of spatial. verbally or nonverbally th Itt. as bein . if not more t ay IS ~ myth. to some extent. pects of respondmg. in consequence. beliefs and opinions about happenings in the distant past and possibilities for the future. 40 41 . and the III permanent unce taOeptlOn of the other while seeming c\ r mty . fe~dback and perception. ·.perception bh qualities tend g an active and highl lecti can e t ought of. lcation (Hint any mstances in perceptual . an ercelver result. but we have a sophistication that far surpasses all other species. the concrete or the abstract. in wh~t they say rdilld pursm. Nevertheless. proVIsIOn an lor reception increase the Co . actual. t he other Person in be' muc?. response repertoires. · ~sperceived accurately But it i a eedback ISperceived. in terms of goals. communication is a notoriously difficult concept to define precisely. ~'iUlres accurate rcephons of th on. ceptJon and its h 0 the essentially I. Je. ' fflet~ph~ Derceptions f 0 ers. expectations an I add' . vocal forn:s. reeeived .chfeedback. A central premise of the model outlined is that. Irreversible and (possibly) inevitable. o self-pres en tat' Ion and ImpreSSIOn . temporal.' ss mterestmg or less persona Y people in'a co~ na. It also enables us to make meaningful contact with others through establishing. perceptIon. to what we do and sa w ". . tn m . d chances of divergence and . meanmg IS proportional to the degree to !lec Ive use Limited . mlsun erstandmg rrespondlllg to the different as' .erve tY'Pically .' consequence f . if not all. relational and sometimes organisational frameworks within which it is embedded.SKILLED INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION distortion).ct~ve. rather than bemg merely involvina ele 0 Iter out the less cons ~ attend to all that we might in any situ· · .g personal goals for the exchange is. f ee dan back relevant to th a th ' t er Wit m ormation which can act as towards mutual under ta d~ er s goal quests. . potentially available vi f . ' w I e cogmhve or substantive feedback relies more management. . plays a pivotal role in interpersonal iransacnons 'fh roug h 0ut the . Wltho~t ~u. Interpersonal communication ~an be thought of as a process that is transactional. While high self-monitors endeavour to create and maintain an impression in keeping with the situation and to earn approval. ments. h _. We have Being mindful 0 self and of h mterp~rsonal behaviour also dy tOUched on t~f th~ public image one IS being perceived (or Damt in relation tP trayed must not be overlooked. certain. responses.can b e decod d ". remalllmg chapters of this book. in particular.s I mteractlOn yet IS a profoundly ve y. Precanous activ'ty Ge n amental to k"lful' . . a number of attributes are readily recognised by many. although mherently sub' . Despite its significance. For Gudykunst (1991) convergence · s n Illg and shared '. nerally speaking . in what they say and do. at the same 0.. All communication is context bound. lax selfmonitoring is likely to diminish one's communicative effectiveness (Adler et al.dimensional. including other people essages J'udgements and d that they transml't . partlClpa~ts ~re at one and the same time. Nevertheless. maintaining and terminating relationships. es to the other bas d r person awaiting our discovery. we seldo e ma e. low self-monitors are much less preoccupied by these concerns. intuiti" I I. feedback. what we mg perceived. . Plans and strategies to accomplish these derive from mediating processes and resulting tactics are enacted in manifested responses. The personal characteristics of the participants together with features of ~heshared situation act to shape the interaction that transpires and both I?ay be lllfiuenced. feedback can be provided typi~lly implicated. As we have seen personal perception. Although both are aff~lve or evaluative matters hil mav be particularly salient when It comes to heavily on the verbal. ow we perceive others is fu doe goals being sought.')' 0. I IS only thr hh and the m a ut the internal and exter o~g t e perceptual apparatus that nal environment. As interaction time. wh Ich feedback is put to eU ti . A Plcuous less I 11 subJective Des . It enables us to move beyond events taking place at this time. As put b' 0 ~urselves m perceiving as it does to There is . attrib . eavy dep d se {'Ctivead' UhonaJ processes f en ence on the kn In mferential nature of social per· mao::uracy d 0 the p' ow edge tr d . perhaps counterWe are activ I t~ be emphasised in partr cti~e process (Eysenck. s SUch perceptio . goals. d . 1998b). Perception Not all information . We can share knowledge. St ak. y WIlmot (1995: 150): W .. is siroU~d:~rpret them. Rather. hence ml' SCOmmuu" n s.hi f . s uctures. These passive reci ~ Y Illvolved in the percept' cu ar With reference to social interaction. 1998). skilled interaction would be impossible but it can only be acted on If ItISperceived. about events here or in some other place. multi. we will examine the central feature~ of each skill area un~er focus. providing .. 1987). Likewise. ·H eelslons III relation t th e an acted on through makmg . d . proVldmg the oth . .each othe~ WIth lllformation of relevance to decisions about the extent of goal attamment. . Our epe~~ th~ Cues we have available. People differ in the extent to which they monitor their performance and under what conditions (Snyder.

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