Kriya Yoga: Synthesis of a Personal Experience
Contents Synopsis PART I A PERSONAL ACCOUNT OF MY SEARCH OF THE ORIGINAL KRIYA 1. Yoga Self-Taught 2. Kriya Yoga from Organizations 3. The Value of Japa 4. Traveling Gurus 5. Again Alone on the Spiritual Path PART II DEFINITION OF THE KRIYA YOGA TECHNIQUES 6. The Basic Techniques of Kriya Yoga 7. Further Information about the First Kriya Set of Techniques 8. Definition of the Higher Kriyas in Six Phases PART III KRIYA YOGA IN PRACTICE 9. Remarks on the Potential Dangers of Meditation and Kriya 10. Incremental Routines. Building the Best Foundation of the Spiritual Path 11. The Irreplaceable Experience of Continuous Prayer (Japa) 12. Kriya of the Cells. Exploring the Ultimate Perfection of Kriya Pranayama Appendix: Remarks on Simplified Kriya Glossary Bibliography
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PART I: A PERSONAL ACCOUNT OF MY SEARCH OF THE ORIGINAL KRIYA The first part contains the story of the different phases of my spiritual search: self teaching of Yoga; Kriya Yoga received from an organization; Kriya Yoga received from traveling gurus; final decision of putting in a book all what I knew about Kriya Yoga techniques and go ahead alone. Chapter 1 Yoga Self-Taught My spiritual search began after I bought an introductory book on classical Yoga. I considered Yoga a discipline capable of producing an internal change in my personality. I began with an exercise, to be done in Savasana, where the thinking process was disciplined to create a state of "mental void". I decided also to extend the mechanism of this technique to my student life. I decided to reinforce my discipline through the art of Pranayama. The first result was the experience of a vast joy springing from the fundamentals of my not being provoked by any external cause. After three months of practice, I experienced what Yoga books call " Kundalini awakening." This experience was preceded by a couple of days of fear and anguish. Chapter 2 Kriya Yoga from Organizations As an enthusiast of Pranayama, I decided to devote my life to perfect it. I came to know of the existence of Kriya Yoga: a four-phased Pranayama path taught in our age by the great Lahiri Mahasaya. I would have done anything to have learned it immediately but this clashed with the rules of the organization spreading it: it was necessary to follow a correspondence course. Meekly, I accepted to put aside my already consolidated practice of classic Pranayama and abide only by the written teachings of the correspondence course. A year and a half later, I received the First Kriya set of techniques. I was blissfully happy but unable to conceive a working routine -- the one I followed was neither functional nor rational. Chapter 3 The Value of Japa When I learned the so-called Higher Kriyas, the problem became more and more critical because they were not completely explained. Later, when one of the organization representatives refused to clarify my doubts, I reluctantly decided to address my search toward other sources. I had no concrete results but, thanks to some good readings, the practice of Japa entered my life and with it, the experience of the breathless state became part of my life. Chapter 4 Traveling Gurus Possessed by an eager desire to learn the so-called "original Kriya", I made the great mistake of neglecting that state for many years and followed three different teachers. Among many not very important details, I learned something valuable: 1. the importance of listening to the internal sounds during Kriya Pranayama; 2. the frenulum-stretching technique (Talabya Kriya) leading to mastery of Kechari Mudra; 3. the mysterious Tribhangamurari movement 4. the concept of the Incremental Routine. 3
Chapter 5 Again Alone on the Spiritual Path After the break with my third teacher, I avoided seeking others. I toyed with the vague idea of putting all I knew about Kriya in a book but I was hampered by the deep conditioning from my first Kriya organization: the promise of keeping all technical Kriya details secret. Years went by with very long sessions of outdoor meditations, looking for inspiration from my privileged source: the Beauty of Nature. The mental clarity and stamina produced by the incremental routines helped me to erase all conditionings. I began the work of writing the book and posted it on the Web. PART II: DEFINITION OF THE KRIYA YOGA TECHNIQUES The second part is devoted to what I know about the theory and practice of Kriya Yoga. Chapter 6 The Basic Techniques of Kriya Yoga The essence of First Kriya is given through eight techniques -- Talabya Kriya, Om Japa (in the Chakras), Kriya Pranayama (aka Pranayama), Navi Kriya, Maha Mudra, Kriya Pranayama with short breath, mental Pranayama, and Yoni Mudra. In the technique of Kriya Pranayama we distinguish three phases. Chapter 7 Further Information about the First Kriya Set of Techniques After a theoretical digression on the four knots that prevent the spiritual experience (tongue, heart, navel, and coccyx), some variations of the basic First Kriya techniques are described. We delve deeper into the discussion of Kechari Mudra. Chapter 8 Definition of the Higher Kriyas in Six Phases The Higher Kriyas are described as a six step system. Some variations are also discussed. PART III: KRIYA YOGA IN PRACTICE The third part dwells with the practical aspects of teaching Kriya Yoga. The main theme is how to assist students to coordinate and harness their efforts in a meaningful way, and to make them able to withstand the transformative process that leads to the mastery of the different steps of Kriya Yoga. Chapter 9 Remarks on the Potential Dangers of Meditation and Kriya The alleged danger of "premature Kundalini awakening" is not as real as it is described. Naturally, there are certain norms to follow to avoid strong mood oscillations caused by the practice of Kriya. Chapter 10 Incremental Routines. Building the Best Foundation of the Spiritual Path After considering how to introduce the First Kriya in a gradual way, practical examples clarify how to utilize the formidable instrument of the Incremental Routine.
one enters the dimension of Unceasing Prayer (Prayer of the Heart) and lives the Kriya path with the right attitude.Chapter 11 The Irreplaceable Experience of Continuous Prayer (Japa) The breathless state is a decisive result marking a turning point in one's life: it is the true Initiation. Chapter 12 Kriya of the Cells. Exploring the Ultimate Perfection of Kriya Pranayama The discussion is about what could be considered the final improvement of Kriya Pranayama. A parallel is given with the Macrocosmic orbit of internal Taoist Alchemy.
. It is achieved by adding to a correct routine containing the essence of Kriya. The intriguing effects of this practice are taken into account. Through this action. the practice of Japa during the day.
Books of B. I couldn't persuade my father to buy the book for me. I had no doubts that Pranayama was something I had to learn as soon as possible. My spiritual search had begun but I was not aware of it. I was proud to be able to read and understand it. I continued these readings until I was about 11. when I was perhaps 10 or 11. I was entranced and inexplicably spellbound by the person pictured on the cover sitting in the "lotus position.
. A friend told me he had a detailed textbook containing different Pranayama techniques. and added: "these exercises can change a person inside. During this period.. the esoteric flame was rekindled for a while in a particular way: Yoga as a discipline to practice -. I borrowed esoteric books from my parents' friends and I loved those books.. I spotted Yoga in 20 lessons and bought it forthwith and read it in its entirety.. I remember the first one I read from end to end was on occultism. Knowing the book was considered unsuitable for my age. Perhaps. But my friend would not lend me the book. I turned a deaf ear to any persuasive advice to dedicate myself to more formative readings. I don't remember the title of the first book. In the end... In primary school. the most precious secrets were hidden in other books I had not been fortunate enough to find. I came into contact with the main themes of occidental esotericism with short digressions into phenomena like hypnosis and spiritualism. I wasted a lot of time on worthless books and stacks of specialized esoteric magazines with tantalizing titles and impossible chimeras designed essentially to impress. unlike my peers. He was surely referring to obtaining some intense experiences that left a psychological mark. I felt I had traveled through an indistinct chaos.not to read or to fantasize about. beyond the point of no return. and where it was impossible to distinguish in advance between fact and fiction. For me. and then finally the autobiography of an Indian saint where I found the term Kriya Yoga.S. I saw the word "Yoga" for the first time in a postal catalog of esoteric books among my father's correspondence.. it seemed more an exercise of mental control. My interest in Yoga had been fueled by a certain expectation of the effectiveness of the oriental forms of meditation that had slowly consolidated during my childhood and early adolescence.. When I was 15 and in high school." I was deeply allured by his words: what internal change was he talking about? Surely my friend didn't mean the attainment of a particular state of relaxation or concentration or how to integrate the oriental vision of existence with our lifestyle. However." However. a few days later at the train station newsstand.K.PART I: A PERSONAL ACCOUNT OF MY SEARCH OF THE ORIGINAL KRIYA
CHAPTER 1 YOGA SELF-TAUGHT
My spiritual search began at age 15 after I bought an introductory book on classical Yoga. Iyengar followed. But first things first.
etc. at least for me. the understanding of which in the future would become so important in my life. nothing else. being able to do something significant without having to move very far and without the inherent risks of school sports attracted me. I devoted myself to mastering yoga positions or moving the abdominal muscles with the Nauli technique -. Karma.to the amazement of my teacher who inquired about the secret of obtaining such interesting effects. I was frustrated about the lack of information about Pranayama -. while my schoolmates amused themselves with team games. diaphragm. That was clearly an introduction. Moreover.dilating the abdomen. The satisfaction I felt at the end of a session spoke for their effectiveness. remained unfathomable. Objectively speaking. but I will describe the exercise based on what I remember:
.. hidden in a tangle of Sanskrit terms. Purusha. It was clear. Pranayama was only hinted at by explaining how to do a complete breath -. and explained how each exercise stimulated certain physiological functions (important endocrine glands.and remaining for some time in a state of pure awareness. So.).I knew it could bring about a transformation in my personality. The instructions were structured with great care in typical western style but the author did not lose his focus in useless philosophical embellishments.. There was an entire chapter devoted to the "Corpse Pose" (Savasana). It was not difficult to guess that the ancient art of Pranayama was not intended to train the chest muscles. I regret not having the book anymore. the Yoga text was not a mediocre one: it explained the name of each posture (Asana). they were a means of providing a global stimulus to all the physical organs to increase their vitality. Even concepts like Reincarnation. He explained the purpose of the exercise was to put to rest the mental faculties in order to recharge the whole psychophysical system with fresh energy. Prakriti. It was there just to give the reader the impression of serious authenticity. I began doing yoga postures (Asanas) in a corner of our school gymnasium during physical education classes after the teacher gave me permission to work out on my own after the preliminary group warm-up exercises. Dharma. the equivalent of five hours sleep.). and Maya. that such energy was related to disharmony and conflicts inside our disposition. the last one to be practiced in the daily Asana routine. strengthening the diaphragm or creating peculiar conditions of blood oxygenation. It was taken for granted that these positions were not to be seen as simple "stretching work-outs". The introduction to Yoga philosophy was neither impressive nor thought provoking (Jiva. one could obtain within an hour.Unfortunately. I wasn't very good anyway in sports despite being well-conditioned by long walks. gave a brief note on the best mental attitude for practicing it. I was attracted by the over-exaggerated promise that by stopping all mental functions -. but to act on the energy present in our psychophysical system.without falling into a state of sleep -. the philosophical introduction did not stir up anything spiritual. and upper chest during inhalation and contracting the same in reverse order for a calm exhalation.
the final state of relaxation lasted no more than 15 minutes and the exercise itself never more than 25-30 minutes altogether. the exercise works perfectly and after 40 minutes you get up well-rested and recharged with new fresh energy. After a few seconds however. The technique inevitably ended in a peculiar way." In my experience. When. Whichever of the two methods you choose." Besides the dimensions of esoteric. The focus of consciousness is absorbed in Kutastha. You should never become annoyed about continuous new thoughts but picture them as objects and shift them aside. there is no more effort and any remaining restless emotion subsides. they cloud it. without worrying about shifting thoughts aside."Lie in the supine position with arms extended alongside the body and with eyes covered to keep the light out. therefore I am" is indefensible. Thanks to this technique. convert your concentration into a small needle which constantly touches the area between the eyebrows -. pure awareness without content arises. must be put aside. I am not thinking of anything. I borrowed a book of poetry
. and relax therein. All thoughts. in this way. lies the proof and the intimate certainty of existing. Pure logical thinking cannot yield that certitude.I am relaxed. thoughts are in essence ephemeral and instead of revealing the final truth. the confidence that the exercise had been perfectly executed appeared. After pushing a thought away. When the mental process is eased off into perfect silence. to enter the state of mental void. return your awareness to the small spot between the eyebrows (Kutastha) which resembles a lake of peace. I am calm. After staying still for two or three minutes. there was also the passion for poetry and literature accompanied by habit of daily seeking the contemplation of Beauty in Nature. The ability to continuously push away thoughts that knock at the door of your attention will become easier and almost automatic. my reaction was always a wince and a faster heartbeat. without exception. which became a daily habit. Then. I realized the difference between "mind" and "awareness". The thought seeds manifesting as indefinite images quivering at the edge of awareness cannot disturb your mental rest. At the end. At a certain point. on some occasions -. in spite of the 40 minutes promised by the book. mentally repeat -. oriental meditative practices. ulterior chains of thought are prevented from coming out.such as practicing immediately after a strong emotional incident -. The Cartesian deduction: "I think. It would be more correct to affirm: "Only in the ability of obtaining the silence of thoughts. visualize your thoughts including those with abstract qualities and push them away one by one as if an internal hand were moving them gently from the center of a mental screen toward its outer edge.the mechanism does not seem to work. you know you exist and that your existence is indestructible. it remains unchanged for some minutes. My interest in poetry began when I was 9. even the thought itself of practicing a technique. Like a luminous point duplicating itself an unlimited amount of times. the state of deep calmness was interrupted by the thought that the exercise had not yet begun.just touching.
By recalling them. Despite the tragedy of his deafness at his creative peak. he reacted in a most honorable manner and carried on creating works he had already composed in his heart.Self inquiry. Each day for the first 3 months after high school graduation. which no adverse fate can overtake. I had molded the unshakeable conviction that when thought becomes an uncontrollable vice -. The frenzied whirl of the thought process. The Heiligenstadt Testament. I approach Him without fear. I majored in Mathematics at university and during the first months. He wrote to a friend: "God is nearer to me than to others. The daily rite of retiring to my room to listen to that music consolidated my consecration to the Ideal -. sitting on a hill contemplating a far landscape basking in the warmth of the summer evening. I continued this exercise until I was 18. I decided to use the technique of mental void while resting in the afternoon as well as to extend its dynamic to studying. The more my rash emotionalism prompted me to take steps which proved to be destructive to my affective relationships.it constitutes not only a waste of energy but is the primary cause of misery.like studying humanities. remaining undisturbed by distractions. To further save my energy. The triumph of this frail human creature over a nonsensical fate had a tremendous impact on me. One bad habit I had to conquer was the tendency to day-dream and jump from one memory to another to extract moments of pleasure. the more my desperate heart found refuge in its pure beauty. where he reveals his critical condition and states his decision with pacific and total resolution. What my heart craved was before me. During a walk in the country. I developed a passion for classical music and Beethoven became my idol. That was my first religious experience. and offering it to humanity. I listened to Beethoven's Missa Solemnis. his music rang out again in my memory. I have always known him. and finding an effective method of study. By reading them frequently. I was convinced disciplined thought was the most valuable trait I could develop and that it would open the doors to
. when I experienced a strong sentimental tie whose fulfillment seemed impossible. I soon knew them all by heart. As my high school years were drawing to a close. made him almost a hero and a saint in my eyes. and which will free him who understands it from the misery which afflicts others. Neither am I anxious about my music. perfect and untarnished neither by fears nor a sense of guilt. I understood that a happy chapter of my life was concluded and there would be no time for distractions -. All my attention was focused on reasoning clearly. I could intensify the pleasure I felt while contemplating the hilly surroundings beyond the outskirts of our village. it excessively fosters an optimistic imagination that unfortunately pushes the person toward wretched actions. I planned to think in a disciplined way during my idle moments.from the school library and copied in a notebook different short poems with naturalistic themes. On other occasions. create at times unreasonable fears that hinder the decisive action that life requires. accompanied by alternating moods and strong emotions." How could I remain indifferent? He was drawing incomparable music out of the depths of his being.for many it is an utter addiction -.
Bruno Walter. tough sacrifices were necessary. Mercilessly. partying. was that of falling daily into nerve-wracking discussions with friends. O Divine One . The incident put me in a gloomy mood. One of these.
At that moment. mine was not an impossible sacrifice: theirs was not my world. It was Mahler's intention to treat death as the inevitable end of all human enterprise. I would have to endure momentarily a dark emptiness: I would savor it without a lament and without being tempted to turn on a light for momentary solace.O when.it has been so long since real joy echoed in my heart . Certainly. it didn't concern them. It was very sad and distressing.O when . they appeared to me like chickens cooped up in a narrow space. But after breathing the limpid. A sentence from Beethoven's Heiligenstadt testament came spontaneously to mind as an invocation to retrieve the lofty dimension I enjoyed during my high school years:
O Providence . having sex. I abruptly avoided their company. My decision filled me with euphoric enthusiasm. Whatever tragedy happened to their mate. One day. Each part of the symphony had a precise meaning which Mahler himself had explained in a letter to the conductor. during a short afternoon walk. sparkling.Never? No . The words of the contralto communicated a childlike innocent vision in a sorrowful voice of endless dignity:
. I saw them from afar sitting lazily and chatting in the usual bar. To see the dawn of a "day of pure joy".O that would be too hard. I resolved to concentrate on my studies and passing my exams became my sole reason for living. they would have kept on sipping the daily pleasure of dawdling until misfortune hit them. It was time to renounce it. I Will Die So I Can Live! An event illuminated my life: a friend introduced me to Gustav Mahler's Symphony No.grant me at least but one day of pure joy . I assumed they were completely governed by the instincts of eating.shall I find it again in the temple of nature and of men? . I perceived that period of my life as a descent into an unfathomable night but I knew in order to shape my future the way I desired. They were my friends and I loved each of them. yet seeing them together that day. In the mirror of my introspection. celestial state of thought restraint for a few hours. My heart gave a lurch. I read the information leaflet.2 "Resurrection" and invited me to a live concert of this work.fruitful achievements. and overindulging. wrapped and unexpectedly dignified by the idea of socialization. I encountered a significant resistance. The music conveyed a sense of desolation which was sweet as if death meant drifting off into a pacific sleep. I saw how other habits were wasting my mental energy.
It was like being in the countryside during a light rain. What I missed was the art of Pranayama -. the words: "Sterben werde ich. Werd'ich entschweben Zum Licht. in einem Nu! Was du geschlagen zu Gott wird es dich tragen! With wings I have gained. Mein Staub. Then the choir sang some verses from Klopstock's hymn:
Aufersteh'n. die ich mir errungen. but by no means did I want to spend the rest of my life staring at the wall of my silenced mind and waiting for something to happen.K. yes.that Pranayama which I had dreamed so much about but had never actually practiced.S. give you. I shall soar aloft To the light no eye has pierced! I will die so I can live! Rise again. I tried to penetrate its meaning by reading everything I could on it and listening to it entranced and in the quietude of my room. mein Herz. ja aufersteh'n wirst du. in love's fierce striving. Amid the vegetation. After many integral and enthusiastic listening sessions. my heart. be able to "die in myself"? Was it possible to cross the foggy curtain of thoughts. Shall lead you to God!
In the following days. sensations and instinct. After a brief rest! Immortal life! Immortal life Will He who called you. Iyengar's description in his The Illustrated Light on Yoga. Would I ever before barren old age. Will you. zu dem kein Aug'gedrungen! Sterben werd'ich. B. um zu leben! Aufersteh'n. which I had purchased a few weeks before. The music conveyed the biblical suggestion of universal judgment. The song then dealt with the theme of eternal life. "I will seize Fate by the throat". rise again. rise again. um zu leben!" ("I will die so I can live!") resounded all day long in my mind like a thread around which my thought crystallized. But it was spring and a ray of sun pierced the clouds.
Then Mahler's own verses were chanted: these ended with:
Mit Flügeln. and emerge in that pure Dimension I had yearned for many years and what I felt was my sovereign good? There was no doubt I would have perfected my self-imposed discipline to extremes. in an instant! What you have earned yourself. In heißem Liebesstreben. said Beethoven: so I too was prepared to act in a strong and decisive way.
O red rose! Man lies in direst need! Man lies in deepest pain! Oh how I would rather be in heaven. superficial emotions. had
. there was a beautiful red rose that filled my heart with its beauty. ja aufersteh'n Wirst du. Nach kurzer Ruh'! Unsterblich Leben! Unsterblich Leben wird der dich rief dir geben! Rise again. my dust. yes.O Röschen roth! Der Mensch liegt in größter Noth! Der Mensch liegt in größter Pein! Je lieber möcht ich im Himmel sein. Will you.
. At that time. If it provoked an authentic psychological earthquake. I was on the right track." This sentence. I could verify Pranayama's potential acting on my psyche. I would sit in the open air and contemplate the environs. The pressure. What would have frightened others. with ferocious concentration. I practiced morning and evening in an "absolute" way. I concentrated keenly on the alternate feelings of coolness and warmth produced by the air on the fingers and on the palm of the right hand used to open and close the nostrils. still lingered in their spell-binding glory. I couldn't understand how I had wasted so much time not taking on this commitment seriously. To devote myself to it would cost nothing.and some simple Asanas when I had more time. Bandha and final concentration in Kutastha) is given at the end of this chapter. I was certain my old school friend had told the truth -. It had to be true! Pranayama appeared to me the most perfect of all arts. The Pranayama referred to was Nadi Sodhana and Ujjayi with Bandha and Kumbhaka -. The instrument was already with me and within me. In Pranayama. I searched for the most intense colors. Day after day. with no intrinsic limits. the smooth flowing of the breath. I was deeply inspired. I would close my eyes and rely on an inner radiance. To abide by it was "the decision" of my life. when the skies were crystalline and as blue as they had ever been.such a practice would be a whole new experience because these exercises were not described in my first Yoga manual. Ujjayi. some prudence was necessary: an intensive practice had to be reached gradually and each session had to be carried out with extreme care.. I felt my perception of things change. the yogi uses his lungs as pneumatic tools. 12
. every detail was pleasant. as if there were no tomorrow. Sometimes. Faulty practice puts undue stress on the lungs and diaphragm. the sun shed its light upon flowers that a few weeks before were blooming during the cold and now. If they are not used properly. sitting on the edge of a pillow with my back straight. fascinated by them as if they were close to reveal an unknown reality under and beyond material reality. heedless of the mildest days. to the point of "dying" in it. On one side were esoteric matters which had guided my search toward Yoga discipline -1
A detailed description of this routine (Nadi Sodhana. Yes. Beauty was now a sensation of pressure on my heart. 1 I practiced in the half-lotus position. turned on my immoderate will to experience all its power. The very foundation of a healthy body and a sound mind is shaken by a faulty practice of Pranayama. In a bushy ditch covered with ivy. particularly the hint at the danger of compromising our mental health. The respiratory system suffers and the nervous system is adversely affected. my internal life was still split between two interests. they destroy both the tool and the person using it. In the last part of the book there was a prudent warning: "Pneumatic tools can cut through the hardest rock."these exercises can change a person inside". I would start with stretching exercises -. emboldened me. figuratively speaking.awakened in me an unshakeable desire to practice it intensively. Becoming aware of each peculiarity of the exercise helped me maintain vigilant attention without becoming stressed. I focused with zeal on applying the instructions flawlessly and with a creative spirit. in the first sunny days after winter.
Vivekananda. my desire is to inform the reader that in the following pages I will only summarily linger upon my understanding of His legacy. Back home. My only wish was to go further and further into this new inner source of understanding and enlightenment. in fact. I realized I had already experimented that joy. Gopi Krishna and Patanjali's Yoga Sutras (a big volume with comments by I. It was a book I had seen some years before but had not bought since it didn't
The reader will understand why I am not mentioning the full name of P. He abides in this reality and moves not thence. There are many schools of Yoga spreading his teachings according to a ‘specific legitimacy'. however. but they won't even appreciate their beloved Teacher's name to be mixed into discussions about Kriya on the Internet. An interested reader 13
. 2 . But I could never have imagined that Pranayama had the power of multiplying the experience of the Sublime. at a comment from one of the Upanishads [ancient Sanskrit sacred texts] that I had with me. I quickly glanced. to figure out his identity.it was conceived as an efficacious tool for purifying and controlling the mind. helping me not to spoil by a mess of thoughts the fragile miracle of the encounter with Beauty.
While I was repeating it. One particular sentence awakened an instantaneous realization: "Thou art that"! I closed the book and repeated the words as if in a trance. and listening to classical music. some people used His name to mislead the search of a high number of practitioners who were trying to receive His original teachings. He that has achieved it shall not be moved by the greatest sorrow. On a quiet afternoon walk among trees just before sunset. whom I will indicate by P. in the past. Taimni). Moreover. I often repeated inside me and sometimes quoted to my friends. I could never have imagined that the first dimension could possibly lead me toward the second! It was reasonable to hope that Pranayama could give me a permanent base of mental clarity. There is nothing higher than this. One of these.K. . On the other side. This is the real meaning of Yoga . made me realize that not only won't they tolerate the smallest of the Copyright violations.it is not difficult.Y. I did not even try to put down on paper the numerous "moments of grace" I experienced. through its representatives. He has found the treasure above all others.Y. The reason is that. Kundalini Experience After having bought the works of Ramakrishna. now and then. Was my rational mind able to grasp the incommensurable implication of the statement? Yes. I finally decided to buy the autobiography of an Indian saint.a deliverance from contact with pain and sorrow". nor could I have. I was actually holding onto it. this verse from the Bhagavad Gita:
"(The yogi) knows the joy eternal beyond the pale of the senses which his reason cannot grasp. it was: I was that unbelievably delicate green light filtering through the leaves which was bearing witness to the spring that brought new life. was the aspiration toward the ideal world of Beauty which I tried to evoke through the study of literary work. without any pretension to give an objective account of it.
Y. According to his description.
should not renounce the privilege of turning to the original texts! 14
. my experience would be channeled toward a positive conclusion. but it frightened me a lot. Weeks later.contain practical instructions. The worst thoughts hung over me without a clear reason. seemed at the point of melting away. The experience was insignificant in itself. My hope now was that I would be able to find useful information such as the addresses of some good Yoga schools. I set myself in the position of meditation and waited. In those days I had finished reading Gopi Krishna's Kundalini: Path to Higher Consciousness. maybe the totality of that entity I call "myself". Then it became fear. I too was afraid I had come to the threshold of the same experience but. unable to think. I was sure I was close to madness – or death. psychic problems as well. My reaction was rather strange since I had always believed I was immune from fear of all things related to transcendence. which he could not put out. This autobiography enthralled me and created a strong aspiration toward the mystical path: in certain moments. my restlessness turned into anxiety. This situation provided a fertile ground for the coming of an event which was radically different than what I had experienced before. The experience would have been terrible! Nobody could make sure that. Minutes passed and I was not able to continue reading. Nonetheless. A part of me. In moments of danger. So strong was energy he was bedridden and could not accomplish normal bodily functions. very strong and I would not be able to stop it in any way. The spiritual world appeared to me as a sorrowful and horrible nightmare. The experience happened one night while reading P.'s Autobiography. since I did not live in India. Here the author described the splendid awakening experience he had following an intense practice of concentration on the seventh Chakra. The anguish increased. It was as if my memory had an inexplicable familiarity with it and my instinct knew its inescapable power. I had certainly never experienced a similar state. an intense fear of something unknown which was threatening my existence.even though I did not know what. whereas – because his body was probably unprepared – he later met serious physical and. that it was going to be strong. which became a stout experience of internal realization. I felt a shiver similar to an electric current spread itself throughout my whole body. I found myself almost burning from an internal fever. I was scared the people around me might not understand. It was a kind of "intimate" and spiritual experience. The thought flashed through my mind that a deeper event was going to happen soon. I would remain paralyzed. I made up my mind to let things happen unimpeded and go ahead with the reading. inside his body energy was put in constant motion from the base of the backbone toward the brain. he intuitively discovered the way to check out the phenomenon. I felt the urgency of doing something -. since I have listened to similar descriptions from many researchers I have decided to share it. like for Gopi Krishna. He literally felt as if he was being burned by an inner fire. Now my thoughts were stirring frantically picturing the worst exits: loss of the psychological balance or an encounter with an evil entity. as a reflex.
Something had changed anyway. I met some friends and spent the afternoon cracking jokes and behaving like the people I had always considered lazy and dull. I had a whole day before me. I felt guilty and ashamed of the harsh words I had used against a friend who had been involved in a part of my search. Equipped with a juvenile boldness. as intensely as before. He had preferred to protect his mental health rather than become unstable or insane through practices he was unsure of. I stood up and left the room. I was ready to accept all that was to happen and let things follow their course. the two pivotal facts that today stir my most intense emotions -. which then started to thunder inside my head. I hoped that listening to it might yield the positive effect of protecting me from anguish and help me get back my usual mood. with a pair of headphones I listened in my room to Beethoven's Concert for Violin and Orchestra that soothed my soul and. Because of my great passion for classical music. In this way. I was convinced I had opened a door I was not supposed to open. Sunlight poured into the room through the chinks in the shutters. I understood the nature of my reaction to that episode: I had cowardly run away from the experience I had pursued for such a long time! In the depth of my soul my dignity led me to continue with my search exactly from the point where I had quit. forgot lofty readings. Like so many others. to ponder the meaning of what had happened. I began the practice of Pranayama again. I decided to stop the experience and put off the fatal moment. I would have liked to tell him how sorry I was to have brutally violated his right to live the way he thought was best. almost crushed by a feeling of desperation. calmly and detachedly. The first day went by. The following morning I awoke with the same fear. I succeeded in hiding my anguish. I was sorry I had thrown unjustified cruelty at him without really knowing what was in his mind and soul. and engaged in enjoying life. Strange as it may seem. (Many readers will recognize in the following description a similar experience. It was night and there was nobody to whom I could communicate my panic! At the center of the yard. he had shunned any practice. on the contrary. Then. I went out to try and amuse myself by being with other people. I addressed him with a tone far from affectionate. Ordinary life. choked. envying all those people who had never practiced Yoga. my mind was totally worn out. the fear had diminished and I finally felt safe.)
. I was burdened.Divine Intelligence is at the very basis of everything that exists and that man can practice a definite discipline in order to attune to it -conveyed to me a feeling of horror! One week later I began. After two days.able to annihilate and destroy whoever would imprudently approach it. seemed the dearest and healthiest reality. I was afraid I might not be able to get back to that condition anymore. eased my sleep. I hadn’t thought about Yoga I had only thought around it. out to the open air. even if this process implied the loss of my wholesomeness. A few days went by without detecting any form of fear. Thus. I experienced something immensely beautiful. after half an hour.
The strangest thing was that in the very instant I had it. The electric wind was replaced by another feeling. That experience was characterized by an indescribable. I remained immobile for a couple minutes. now they had dissolved. and so far unknown. "a clear and euphoric certainty of existing. I had forgotten it. still objectively indisputable. An elated condition stretching out far over the limits of my awareness . then.began to be revealed. I found myself contemplating a dreamlike reality. It was as if I had woken up after a tormented dream. The perception of an intense brightness accompanied everything. suddenly. I felt the familiar sensation but had no fear. I was lying in a relaxed "corpse pose". as if an electric wind was blowing in the external part of my body. A. I turned on my side and fell into a calm.
. My memory of that moment is condensed into one expression. comparable to an enormous strength filling into the backbone and quickly climbing up to the brain. then faster and violently at the same time. when I awoke. it had arisen in me with the naturalness of a primordial instinct although it had nothing to do with the life surrounding me and in which I liked to live. I found it familiar. it leaps up toward the sky. It only came up some hours later. When it ended. uninterrupted sleep. as if a new area of my brain had been stirred to a full awakening. My composure was serene. when I had a pleasant sensation.a sort of memory hiding in the recesses of my awareness .It was night. enthralled by the reverberation of the memory.even if my mind had imparted it to. It definitely peaked out at only a few seconds. An avalanche collapses. runs downhill. The following day. like an unlimited ocean of awareness and bliss". first slowly. I was flooded with great mirth. I do not know how long this experience lasted. heavy limitations had been weighing my heart down for a long time. he creates the concept of the "inverse avalanche". sense of bliss. For that purpose. propagating itself quickly and with a wavy motion from my feet up to my head. Frossard tries to give an idea of his spiritual experience. during a walk. My body was so tired I could not move -. Frossard suggests we should imagine an "upsidedown avalanche" which begins strengthening at the foot of the mountain and climbs up pushed by an increasing power. Leaning against the trunk of a tree. In God Exists: I Have Met Him.
uniformly. After a few days practice. Begin with 6 cycles gradually working up to 12 cycles. and deeply. no Pranayama exercise should be practiced. that is a problem that can be solved medically.are contracted in an attempt to lift the abdominal muscles in a vertical way. Concentration exercise.Appendix to chapter 1: description of my first Pranayama routine Here are the practical instructions on the Pranayama I followed in my early years and comments on the importance of Nadi Sodhana Pranayama. During the exhalation. This can be done with water or inhaling eucalyptus essence and blowing the nose. in general. Nadi Sodhana Pranayama. the respiratory action is lengthened without effort. It is important to clean the nostrils before beginning the so the breath can flow smoothly. The mouth must be closed. while pressing back the inferior part of the abdomen. The nostrils can be closed with the fingers in different ways depending on the preference of the practitioner. Exhale through the left nostril slowly. 4. 6. Close the left nostril with the left thumb and inhale through the right nostril slowly. Remain perfectly immobile and relaxed for at least 5 minutes.between the anus and the genital organs -. Do not overdo the breathing to the point of discomfort. 2. 1. 7. If one of the nostrils is permanently obstructed. Close the right nostril with the left little finger and ring finger 10. Let us define the Bandhas: when the neck and the throat are slightly contracted. This corresponds to one cycle. Mentally count to ensure the inhalation and the exhalation have the same duration. and the chin tilts down toward the breast. Ujjayi Pranayama.of the same hand. If the obstruction is due to a severe cold. during Nadi Sodhana 17
. Change nostrils 8. this allows the concentration to become deeper. Focus not only on the process but also on the comfort and the induced calmness. and deeply. Pause for a mental count of 3 after each inhalation Close the right nostril with the right thumb and inhale through the left nostril slowly. the perineum muscles -. 5. uniformly.the perception of energy inside the abdominal region and. 3. Now. After an initial period of practice. 9. This exercise is normally practiced 12 times. Use a mental count to make sure the time is the same for both the inhalation and the exhalation. in the spinal column is intensified. The breath is natural and calm. the noise is not as loud as during the inhalation. During Mula Bandha. and deeply for 6-10 seconds. the Bandhas are added during Nadi Sodhana Pranayama. The technique consists of breathing in and out deeply through both nostrils while producing a sound/noise in the throat. Exhale through the right nostril with the same uniform and deep rhythm. uniformly. Uddiyana Bandha (in a simplified form useful for this exercise) consists in slightly contracting the abdominal muscles -. this is Jalandhara Bandha. Close the left nostril with the right little finger and ring finger . the attention intensely focused on the point between the eyebrows.
or the person is distracted in some other way. but still awake and able to experience.). Excessively introverted persons tend to lose contact with external reality.) dominate. while Pingala (masculine in nature.
. Nadi Sodhana creates that perfect balance which is the best condition to enter the meditation state. The amount of alpha waves shows to what degree the brain is in a state of relaxed awareness. EEG measurements prove that alpha waves increase during meditation and the amount of alpha waves in each brain half balance out. Remarks on Nadi Sodhana Pranayama Some books quote scientific research endorsing the benefit of this technique. others when we are more internalized. between a tendency to introversion and a tendency to extroversion. and there is an increase of the faster beta waves (13-40 oscillations per sec. while predominance of the Pingala leads to a state of extroversion.an almost ecstatic internal shiver. during the ensuing short pause the three Bandhas are applied simultaneously. tied to introversion and to the state of rest) flows vertically along the left side of the spinal column. Hold the breath for a count of 12 Om. During the long pause. this alternation is characterized by a balance between a life of positive relationships and a serene contact with one's own depths. The more we practice Nadi Sodhana. if it is comfortable. delta waves are predominant (1-4 oscillations per second). The brain waves that interest us are the alpha waves (8-13 oscillations per sec. retention (Kumbhaka). the more the alpha waves tend to become equal. Later. Inhale for a slowly count of 3 Om. The author concluded the exercise fosters an equilibrium between Ida and Pingala and in due time. Exhale for a count of 6 Om. tied to extroversion and to the state of physical activity) flows parallel to Ida on the right side. Ida (feminine in nature. The exhalation should last twice the time necessary for the inhalation and the pause after the inhalation should be four times as long.Pranayama. the alpha waves are weakened. They are mostly present when the person has closed eyes. There are times when we feel more externalized. is mentally relaxed. This scheme will be denoted as 1:4:2. after having inhaled (either through the left or through the right nostril) the yogi closes both nostrils. the three Bandhas are applied simultaneously. Sushumna flows in the middle and represents the experience halfway between the two: the ideal state to be achieved right before beginning the practice of meditation. Excessive extroverts betray frailty in dealing with their unconscious feelings and might face unexpected distressing moments. and in a doze. you'll feel a sensation of energetic current sliding up along the spinal column -. An Imbalance between Ida and Pingala is responsible for a lack of introversion-extroversion harmony in many people. There are four types of brain waves. In a healthy person. When the eyes are opened. Practicing with intensity and strength of concentration. The consequence is that the ups and downs of life seem to gang up against them in order to undermine their peaceful composure. Time can be measured through mental chanting of Om. During deep sleep. One book explains that Nadi Sodhana Pranayama should be practiced first because it balances Ida and Pingala currents. and exhalation.). one can vary the time ratio of inhalation. Over functioning of the Ida channel results in introversion. the theta waves (4-8 oscillations per sec.
vigilance. on the other hand.Y. The immediate problem was to find other texts. I had no fear. I had no doubts that the Reality I was directing my life towards was the Self as conceived by Jung. By refining the ability for aesthetic enjoyment. strange indeed. I relied upon my enthusiasm.G. It took place especially when I devoted myself to study late and then I laid exhausted on my bed. they could no longer put up
. didn't become ever constant. all the existing texts upon Pranayama. I insisted emphasizing in simple terms some criticizable aspects of their behavior. This discipline combined with a constant effort in self-observation helped me in easing disharmonies and conflicts inside my disposition. in his autobiography hints at Kriya Yoga. They were imbued with obsessive effort of appearing always cheerful and always willing to help out. it was obvious that the Kriya four-stage system would make them greater and greater! My imagination played freely and my fervor grew. reinforcing my determination to seek only inside it the traces of the ineffable "Primeval Cause" of all things. The simple exercise of creating a controlled flow of breath changed the course of my life. The Kundalini experience. nay. and the idea of improving it through different steps sounded amazingly wondrous: if the breathing exercises I had already practiced had given me such incomparable results.. How beautiful could have been living without ever betraying the truest part of ourselves! I had read that no man can undertake such a perilous venture without the guide of a trained psychologist. Jung. One thing was always clear: I had to choose a profession that wouldn't occupy all my day and energies. I fancied I would face the archetypes of the Collective Unconscious. They disappeared for some time and. Since they replied with politeness but didn't share my enthusiasm. I believed Pranayama could help anyone to live in a better way. which was first taught by Lahiri Mahasaya. P.CHAPTER 2
KRIYA YOGA FROM ORGANIZATIONS Undertaking the practice of Pranayama was like planting a seed in the desolation of my soul: it grew into a limitless joy and matchless internal freedom. The point was that the great amount of energy they squandered in this debilitating hysteria was counterbalanced by periods in which they gave the impression of "imploding".. Lahiri Mahasaya was depicted as the incarnation of Yoga: surely there must have been something unique in his "way"! I loved Pranayama. This technique had to be mastered through four levels. a kind of Pranayama. In my beginner's boldness. When it appeared. I believed that Pranayama would initiate a cleansing process of the subconscious part of my psyche. In my dreamer heart. and indomitable will to perfect my Pranayama.. beyond my ability of understanding and of visualizing. I could not abstain from trying to convince friends of the utility of the constant use of Pranayama. guiding me along the "Individuation Process" as described by C. it filled my days with the fruition of ideal Beauty. my heart bubbled with infinite gratefulness to Something higher.
I claimed that Pranayama would harness their energies towards a balanced condition. not a religious engagement. I had no arguments to retaliate. then. these tendencies are to come out in actual life. which I went on extolling unflinchingly. in a remote past. in his opinion. an amplifier was confusing. He explained that if we compare the human spinal column to a ferromagnetic substance constituted. they had depicted me as an anti-social -. Guilt-ridden. at the same time.I considered it an art in continuous refinement. According to this belief. I was young and I categorized everything as black or white. He would not excite me when he spoke on a purely devotional tone. Somehow the inner energy was made to rotate around the Chakras. Pranayama burns out the effects of the "bad seeds" just before they manifest in our lives. appeared to them as the pinnacle of egoism leading to insulation and unhealthy detachment from reality. the Kriya Pranayama burns the socalled "bad seeds" of Karma. Now. while the awareness was focused on the spine. By uniformly redirecting all the "subtle" parts of our spinal cord's physical and astral essence. My words were deprived of a genuine sense of respect and love. This generated a violent reaction. of elementary magnets that turn toward the same direction when they are overlapped by a magnetic field.but an "amplifier" of what you already are. 3
We allude to Karma whenever we stick to the common belief that a person inherits a baggage of latent tendencies from his previous lives and that. the action of Pranayama is akin to this process of magnetization. in short. its own reward -as I was arguing -. the only inappropriate thing to him was my excessive enthusiasm in the automatic effects of Pranayama. Pranayama was not an art bringing in itself. since the concept of Karma lies at the basis of Indian thought. sooner or later. The author highlighted the evolutionary value of Pranayama. with unequaled will and an unexpected practical spirit.with anyone. It is further explained that those people who are instinctively attracted by methods of spiritual development such as Kriya. Pranayama. 20
.Y. He had no doubts that my success in this practice depended wholly on me. The essence of what I had found in Pranayama. Of course Kriya is a practice which one can experiment. I felt totally disoriented. it is worthwhile to understand and speak freely of it. if well practiced. However. lately. What I could guess was that Kriya Yoga consisted in a way of slow and deep breathing. I was amazed by his personality. They claimed that I was unable to respect and show human sympathy toward others. for my analysis. they quit it. making it possible for me to get at some aspects of the subtle art of Kriya -. understood perfectly what I was saying and showed me some empathy. I dared to speak frankly because. In his opinion. The fact that Pranayama could be an art and. I was replying that their social life was a farce. could not create anything new.seeing that I frequented their company as little as possible. a "Hippie". I had actually taken advantage of my friend's past confidential admissions. have already practiced something similar in a "precedent incarnation". I saw I had provoked only bitterness. Only one friend. This is because such an action is never in vain and in actual life they get back to it exactly where. Furthermore. as taught by physics. I went on reading books by P. but it did whenever he assumed a more technical one. without necessarily having to accept any creeds.
. I quickly applied for this course.as stated by P. 21
. some drawings sketching out the profile of a person and different circuits of energy all the way throughout the body.My problem was whether I had to leave for India to look for a teacher who would give me all the necessary clarifications. I went on haunting the bookstore. At least. This was to be avoided by all means. probably because it had once been the Theosophical Society's reference bookstore. and that these could be received by correspondence. One day. But sometimes I was very disappointed. I was attracted by the entry: Breathing exercise for the awakening of Kundalini. If this had to be -. Since I had planned to get through my university studies quickly. creating thus the prerequisite for awakening the Kundalini. While reading the index of a text which was in three volumes. I turned down those texts which dealt only with philosophical topics. I went to
I can still consider myself as fortunate. I kept on skimming through those which illustrated practical exercises with clarity. it was very well furnished.Y. There laid something dormant in the corner of my memory which became alive again. while again reading a text of P. I excluded a journey to India for the near future. in some way. Before purchasing a book I made sure it hinted at the possibility of channeling the energy along certain internal passages. that he had written a whole set of lessons on Kriya. I started going to a used books store. after browsing through a tiresome selection of books. after four months. introducing the esoteric thought of the Rosicrucian Brotherhood. in ecstasy and not concerned by time. I received the first lesson. It was a variation of Nadi Sodhana. while. -. One day. now I knew what to search for: no more the classic exercises (Kapalabhati. The idea came to seek only the essential information in the esoteric books rather than in the classic books on Yoga. When. in a book about occultism. using all the books I could find -. Bhastrika. which tried to describe what cannot be seen or be experienced – such as the astral worlds and the subtle coverings of energy wrapping our body.'s Kriya because. the owner was very nice and I almost felt obliged (considering the cheap price and the perfect conditions of those second-hand books) to buy at least a book per each visit. This was definitely not P. I had good chances of tracing it through other sources and traditions. around the Chakras. because of the risk of a premature Kundalini awakening. with my great amazement.regardless of what language in which they were written. 4 Meanwhile. a lot of space was usually reserved to theories alien to concrete life.a universal process. So.. Some notes warned not to exaggerate with the exercise. Kriya was not to be done through the alternate-nostril breathing. I came to know. according to several clues.Y. Those people who lived beyond the Iron Curtain (the nearby Yugoslavia for example) could not receive such material. I decided to improve the exercises I had already practiced.) but a kind of Pranayama in which the energy had to be visualized rotating.Y.. I vaguely remembered having seen. The written material traveled by ship and the delay times were enormous. I came to know that the correspondence course had to be continued for at least one year before applying for the Kriya lessons.
the air was to be imagined flowing inside the spinal column. the air was flowing down. as if I had found a treasure of unfathomable value. written in English. definitely caused an increase in their price.). Through the inhalation. I came upon a booklet. Walking home. accompanied by the strength of visualization.it replaced the practice of Ujjayi Pranayama. I did not have much familiarity with the German language. During a deep breath. I could not help skimming through the pages. The smirk of satisfaction I wore before the storekeeper holding the two books. I completely forgot about the other material. if that had given me the chance to understand an essential text on Pranayama! 22
. not inside it. but I immediately realized the extraordinary importance of that technique. I meet other Kriyabans A letter from the organization informed me about the existence of other people. yet they will not study some crucial texts in English because they are afraid to misinterpret them. While inhaling. I incorporated it in my daily routine -. I was curious about some rough drawings illustrating techniques which were based on the movement of energy. Among a consistent quantity of miscellaneous material (complete series of the theosophical magazine issues. among which included the Kundalini-breathing. Such was my enthusiasm. the air was rising. it would produce a sort of internal substance allowing for the spiritual eye's vision. with the help of a good dictionary. There was also the description of two particular sounds that the air originated in the throat. In another book. that I would have studied Sanskrit or Chinese or any other language.the storekeeper with a book he must have realized I was not satisfied with. written in German by a certain K. hoping. While deciding the price. 5 The description of this technique still amazes me. I convinced myself that this technique had to be Lahiri Mahasaya's Kriya. I am convinced that their interests are superficial and rather emotive. Spiesberger.which consisted in visualizing the energy flowing around the backbone. when exhaling. who were practicing Kriya and had formed a meditation group. I approached him with great enthusiasm. I read that the Magic breath was one of the most valuable secrets of all times: if practiced constantly. which contained various esoteric techniques. exhaling. among other things. living not far from my place.
I cannot help smiling when some half-hearted people insist that they are fond of Kriya. He led me to the back of the store and invited me to rummage in a cardboard box through a messy heap of papers. I was enthusiastic and quivered with cheerful anticipation to meet them. he remembered something that might interest me. there was an exhaustive description of the Magic breath -. it had to go down along the front part of the body. to the center of the head. That night I hardly succeeded in falling asleep. the energy had to go up behind the spinal column. scattered notes from old course on hypnosis etc. I would undoubtedly decipher all of it at home. to receive more details about the Kriya technique. When I met the person in charge of that group.
people experience problems. too frail their ethereal stuff". with an enormous emotive impact. The idea began to enter my mind that it was fine to protect a precious lore from indiscreet eyes.Y.which. and all the other devotees of his group. I could not have imagined what kind of a hard shock I was about to receive. When he figured out how I got busy picking out a breathing technique in a book and fooling myself it was Kriya Pranayama. He thought I considered Kriya Yoga a child's play and had no idea of what seriousness was. accompanied by the desire to go deeper and deeper into it. I told him how fascinated I was by the practice of Kriya! He asked me right away when I had been initiated in this practice.'s organization! According to his words. He began the tale -. or what book had been read or studied in order to learn it. what a strange appeal. Approaching this guy with a total sincerity.even if it is totally fanciful with fictional purpose -. he was petrified. it is able to cloud people's judgment in order for them to easily accept conclusions that are absurd. I had always believed it did not matter at all how a certain teaching was received. stimulating emotions and feelings. I thought that the only important thing was to practice it correctly. no other person was allowed to teach the technique. what a mysterious fascination it exerted upon my being! Until then. Visibly confused I babbled something about currents. wrote Sri Aurobindo: I would never have thought that those words could be applied to the consequences of that meeting of mine! With a sort of sour irony. We all know how the human mind is more conditioned by an anecdote than by a logical inference! An anecdote -.is endowed with a sort of internal "brightness" that conditions a person's common sense. "Secrecy!" How odd this word sounded. received the very same instructions kneeling at the feet of and with the benediction of his Guru -so that this time the results came out easily. Life is made of short moments of inspiration and serenity. I had the opportunity to hear plenty of times -of the Tibetan yogi Milarepa who. sound of the breath. He. This story made me speechless. during an arc of many years. in an alternation of vicissitudes. He welcomed me with visible enthusiasm. I changed my opinion because I witnessed an innumerable series of absurdities originating from this behest. too far away. 6 Staring into my eyes. 23
."Too bright were our heavens. There was only one way of learning Kriya: being initiated by a "Minister" authorized by P. standing on his doorstep. later on. taking for granted that I had received the teaching from the same organization he was a member of. during them. He emphasized that Kriya cannot be learned through books. showing a bitter smile of disappointment. limitations and deformations caused by the human mind. getting no positive results from the painstaking practice of his fraudulently-learned techniques. submitting a precise and solemn promise of secrecy. but he didn't want to hear anymore and ushered me in his study. Since the very first moment of our meeting. had received the technique. my existence had been too happy for it to last that long. sincerely eager to meet a person with whom he could share the fire of his passion. he went on to say
Later. I just did not know what to reply. dramatically. I would dare say that up to that moment. I had the evidence that it brought miserable repercussions into the lives of thousands of people.
I saw an inner satisfaction spreading over his face.was that.Y. stretched out in benediction". around the six spinal centers". received through illegitimate channels. the energy could be visualized both flowing inside the spine and around the spine. In order to re-establish the initial agreeability of our meeting. He asked me to demonstrate for him my book-learned Kriya technique. having been initiated to Kriya through the legitimated channels. I chose the second of the two possibilities and this was the version I explained. it will not be effective in matters of spiritual purpose". I suppose.because of a particular spiritual law -. I could not imagine that P. he informed me in an official tone that my technique had "nothing to do with Kriya Pranayama"! A really bizarre situation was taking place: I was describing for him a technique very similar to Kriya Pranayama taught by Lahiri Mahasaya while he was sarcastically simpering. having read in another book that during Kriya Pranayama the practitioner was supposed to sing Om mentally in each Chakras. hoping that they would accept me as a disciple and. Besides. My statement
. grant me the sacred Initiation to Kriya Yoga. one hundred per cent sure that I was talking nonsense! However.Y. Then he asked me to explain if there was something upon which I was focusing my attention during my breathing. Their Guru was a special aid sent by God Himself. he launched himself into a wide digression upon the value of the "Guru" . Clearly he didn't identify my practice with the technique of Kriya Pranayama he had learned.a puzzling concept to me because it was attributed to a person that he had not known directly.underlined with overflowing emphasis -. The "secret" he was bound to had not been broken by the author of my esoteric book! Pretending to feel sorry for my consequent disappointment.Y. In his opinion. I was somewhat stunned by the tones to which our dialog was progressing. abandoning such form of aid or looking for a different spiritual path amounted to "a hateful rejection of the Divine hand. Inflamed by an absolute faith. and a possible effect might be "a dangerous illusion in which the ego remains trapped for a long time". I tried to reassure him about the positive effects I had gained from my practice. could not -. he recommended me to send a written account to the headquarters of P. had decided to simplify the instructions and taught in the west the other variation with no mental chanting of Om.that a practice learned from any other source was "worth nothing.be anything but corrupted.'s organization. by the expectation to verify a well-rooted prejudice that the technique. wrote that a kriyaban "mentally directs his life energy to revolve. since my position was totally incompatible with his basic tenets. was real and present in his life: was his Guru. Since P. While telling him these details. He was naturally intrigued by curiosity and. therefore such an event was "the greatest luck a human being can ever have". P. describing the details of my vicissitudes. upward and downward. I added this detail as well. The logical consequence -. in due time. He smiled when he saw me breathing through the nose. The same thing was true for the people who belonged to that group.spiritual Teacher .Y. According to the books I had read.
we were not able to find a topic for our conversations which would be interesting and. Since many of us did not have their family approval and -much less -. respected the given rules. My attendance began in a period that I remember nostalgically. thus I began to know my new friends more closely only during the monthly "social" lunch. which was not totally unfair but undoubtedly out of place. It was not the right place for worldly gossips. listening to Indian songs translated and harmonized for westerners and.Y. The room devoted to meditation was bare but pleasant. he was saying that the results were too important to risk losing them by telling others. so that its fruition would not depend on the owner's whims and it was dedicated to an exclusively spiritual use. a distinct embarrassment in our behavior spoiled the pleasantry of our meetings. much less should I display them.support to the practice of Yoga. unsuitable for a spiritual group discussion. since our conversations were strictly kept on well-defined tracks. meditating together was a true joy! Everything seemed paradisiac to me. I had lost the "fight". Acting the Part of a Devotee As a habit.actually had the effect of worsening the whole matter. a strange metamorphosis took place in his demeanor.just as he had suggested to me. the group practicing Kriya would meet twice a week to practice the techniques together. The reason was that those specially appointed persons in P. giving him the chance to scold me a second time. it was enriched by devotional songs and it lasted many hours. Each member paid part of the rental. From that moment.'s organization to direct the groups.often. I told my friend I would follow his advice. I abandoned Pranayama entirely and restricted my practice to simply centering my attention between the eyebrows (Kutastha) -. No one in our group could. During our gatherings. A particularly inspiring session of collective practice took place on Christmas Eve. So one single topic was left: the beauty of our spiritual path and our great fortune in having discovered it! No wonder that. That clever guy had talked himself straight into an obvious contradiction without even realizing it. and a few seconds before he had underlined that they were of no value whatsoever. He made it clear I should never look for any tangible effects in the practice of Kriya. At the end of each meditation we were required to depart in silence. because in this way I would "lose them". even though little time was given to the practice . It was a beautiful chance to spend some hours talking and enjoying each other's company. at the same time. above all. could cover such a role. had requested us not to talk about other spiritual paths or deal with specific details about Kriya. the only occasion we had to spend time among people with the same ideas and interests had to be an experience of great serenity and relaxation. Realizing he had given too much of his time to me. Unfortunately. It was as if all of a sudden he had been invested with a sacred role: he promised he would pray for me! On that day. after some meetings of mutual
. Authorized people only.no more than 20 minutes . scantly 15 minutes.
oddly and without deep reasons. I awaited it with unimagined eagerness. humility. As a last resort. I cannot say that people were depressed. However. God is to be mostly found through devotion and surrender". I could not understand why I had to wait such a long time: my great anticipation turned. you will be disappointed". some risked entering the realm of jokes. many members who had joined with enthusiasm quit after a few months and then. an almost frightening boredom started to reign in the group. Some of them could not believe that I had no doubts or uncertainties about the Kriya path and reacted to my enthusiasm with annoyance. While I was continuously receiving unasked lessons of devotion. they were not mean or insulting jokes. others. I learned different ways of creating healthy habits in order not to disturb. I had to acknowledge that the reality was different! With a barely concealed impatience of receiving some elucidation about the technique of Kriya. scraped the whole experience off their consciousness. sometimes. As a matter of course. but a sweetening of the idea of the goddess Kali. but when you tried to be agreeable you got a look and a hint of a smile that left you frozen for the rest of the day. A kriyaban making fun of me with an unconcealed cruelty. making some oblique remark about it. My affection for
. Even today I still don't know what he meant. I tried on different occasions to discuss what had been my book-learned practice of it. a devotee should not desire a technique with such intensity: that's neither good nor wise. My open temperament allowed me to become close to one person and establish a bond which later became true friendship. Unfortunately. this also had to live up to the devotional attitude kept by many of the members and eventually succumbed to their cold attitude. into a fruitless anguish. imagining Him as the quintessence of every beauty. I tried my utmost to embrace the school's peculiar Hindu-Christian religious vision. later I became acquainted with the figure of the Divine Mother. would help me to guess the exact Kriya Pranayama technique. rather they seemed divinely happy. Each one repeated that he was "not authorized to give out any explanations": this rule was strictly respected. No "courting" could extract from them even a crumb of information. They considered my euphoria the typical attitude of an immature beginner. who was not the Madonna. my interest for Kriya became a real craving. By studying the correspondence course. told me: "They won't give you the Kriya at all. a burning fever. and loyalty. dreaming a future of solemn pageantry for our modest group. I hoped that someone."exaltation". unable to show a single inch of true joviality. it was not so easy to find what could be called a free spiritual seeker: many made a display of too much emotionally charged devotion. It was easy for me to admire and cherish the figure of Krishna. Even trying to do my best in order to convince myself that I was among individuals with the same passions. but a light and innocent use of humor. An old kriyaban told me: "When you receive Kriya. others seemed only social misfits. the group underwent a great recycling process. revealed attraction for religious ceremonial. I tried to behave like a good disciple but deep down. rather to foster the blossoming of my spiritual experiences.
. only then would the combination of the two techniques come. encouraging us with a smile. Our group received the visit of an elderly lady who had personally corresponded with P. I didn't receive these instructions at the same time.Y. it teaches the attitude of "perceiving.Y. Her temperament was very sweet and more inclined to understanding rather than to censorship. At the end of one's spiritual journey. a sound. the first in the morning and a total immersion in the second at night. so appealing and perfect that I would write it down on a sheet of paper and keep it on my desk. makes it possible to detect this vibration. a proof of the vibration of energy sustaining the universe. one can reach the highest reality.the Divine awareness beyond every existing thing in the universe. She went on to clarify that the Hong So technique was not easy at all. called Nada Yoga "the Yoga of the sound. These exercises were similar to isometric stretches and were practiced standing. Thanks to it. where the internal sounds perception happens without closing the ears." It is a good preparation for Kriya since instead of putting the accent on "to do". She demonstrated the so-called "Recharging Exercises" (I had already learned them from the written lessons). Preliminary Techniques to Kriya I received also the two techniques Hong So and Om. I could experiment with the meaning and beauty of each. It is not an invention by P.the "Holy Ghost". She explained that P. peculiar to them was that the strength of concentration directed the Prana to all the parts of the body. This gave me the unique and splendid opportunity to concentrate on the first technique for many weeks.Y. the "witness".'s writings was genuine. it is also possible to be guided toward the experience of the "Son" the Divine awareness that is present inside the above-mentioned energetic vibration. but. she concluded: "The technique contains all you need to come into contact with the Divine Essence". Om is the "Amen" of the Bible . had tried to explain the teaching of the Trinity in a new way. discovered by the mystics long ago. sincerity. It had been plainly described in the books of classical Yoga.. but after an interval of two months and one month. Then she dwelled on the Om technique. Thus. 7 The lady's explanation was characterized by such a sacred flavor that it
This technique does not belong to those included in the original Kriya Yoga. in spite of its apparent simplicity. and long-time loyal discipleship she had been authorized to help us with meditation. the second one concerns itself with listening to internal (astral) sounds melting into the Om sound.P. Then she reviewed the Hong So technique. Thanks to her earnestness. The first one (called HongSo because of the employed Mantra) eases off the breath and the whole psychophysical system.Y. the "Father" -. This Om technique I was going to learn. Sometimes I considered a particular thought of P.
finally. through meditation.accompanied me for the following weeks. it became the feeble sound of a musical instrument playing far away. it seemed like the tolling of a bell echoing at dusk from the deep green of woody hills. whereas the proper complete technique would be sent within five weeks. So. From the first index page of the material. I struggled for the purpose of retrieving the lost deep emotions. where it seems impossible that the sounds will manifest. Recollections of the Kriya Initiation Ceremony Eventually. No meaningful results appeared through the Hong So technique practiced as per the correspondence course. when I decided to interrupt this state of grace. while I was relaxing and enjoying life. One day I believed I was listening to the Om internal sound. It happened after ten minutes of calm effort. When my breath almost disappeared. There was a time in my life. helping me overcome the beginning of the practice. On the other hand. Later on. the evening coming early helped my seclusion and strengthened my determination of turning on. This went ahead for months until my soul confronted again with the motivations that led me to the spiritual path and saw clearly that my stupid decision had been a monumental mistake. It was like the humming of a mosquito. One day I became aware of a clear inner sound. I didn't realize that this seemingly innocuous and instinctive "betrayal" would make me unable to tune with the Omkar reality for a very long time. I cannot define it but it was like nearing Beauty itself. every day I hoped to receive the coveted material. For the first time in my life the concept of "devotion" had a meaning. the technique was destined to give me good results by ideally establishing a connection between each breath and a different Chakra -. I would have to study just the usual nursery rhymes I already knew by heart. an internal sun. the moment came to file the application form to receive the Kriya instructions by mail. I couldn’t imagine anything being able make a person feel so fine. I understood it was the first of a weekly series. This sound was going on during my mental roaming but only now I was realizing its nature. By listening to it. for another month.
. I was like one who has landed in another continent and has to live in environments that mean nothing to him. I learned the hard way that you should never detach yourself voluntarily from that contact. Some weeks of zealous practice passed off without a single result. Incredulous. I opened it with an expectation that I would not be able to describe: I remained deeply disappointed because it contained ulterior introduction material. just when I returned to my state of full awareness after having been lost into some sweet reverie. The rainy days of the last part of the year. About four months passed. I remember nostalgically my time in that slightly illuminated room where I led a cloistered existence. Unfortunately. as if it were a drawback to being fully sociable. an envelope arrived. in a few days I felt hopelessly extraneous to that sweet reality.but I write about this in the third part of the book. the results obtained through the intensive practice of the Om technique were very sound.
It would have been strange if no one had had doubts about this. to be laden with her Karma. Finally. The introduction to the ceremony was magnificent: about 30 people wearing a sober uniform entered the room.Y.Y.Y. There were about 100 of us who were to be initiated. On the other hand. but also to a six-master chain. which I had found a long time ago in my esoteric readings and which prescribes that the energetic current flows all the way inside the spinal column. . owing to the fact that in P. It was explained to me that those people belonged to the local group whose leader was a stylist and he had choreographed that triumphant entrance. it was the crowning of a definitive choice! My heart was immensely happy at the thought of the inner joy that I would gain through the practice of Kriya.In the meantime. the fastest and safest. I remember a lady wondering if P. The two teachers. My mind was in great expectation for something I had so strongly desired and for which I had seriously been preparing for months. in order to safeguard a family tradition. such as I have never seen even at the most extravagant weddings.'s organization visited our country and I took part in the initiation ceremony.'s writings. After waiting for months. lining up with a solemn attitude and joined their hands in prayer. It was not what might be called a "sacrament" that I was submitting to. of whom Lahiri Mahasaya was an intermediary link. was the so-called Guru-preceptor. P.definitely unable to give any confirmation. to consider the whole mission of Kriya diffusion as originating from Christ Himself was a pleasant idea. which were the basis for my first glimpses of the mechanism of Kriya
. after being taught the Kriya Pranayama. now being a long-time resident in the astral world . I was too anxious to hear the explanation of the technique was soon to take place. Then the ceremony began. which exclusively possessed an inner body with seven Chakras. a Minister of P. I have already explained that I had not taken into serious consideration that procedure. We had been assured that Christ was part of this chain because He had appeared to Babaji (Lahiri Mahasaya's Guru) asking Him to send emissaries to the West to spread the Kriya lore. humans. who had just arrived from abroad. The mystic seven-step ladder of the Chakras was the real highway to salvation. A beautiful room had been rented for the ceremony at a very high price and embellished for the occasion with lots of flowers.Y. The Kriya technique embodied God's most effective blessing toward His privileged creatures. it was high time "to make an eternal pact with the Guru and to be taught the Kriya techniques in the only legitimate way.Y. This story caused me no perplexity at all: perhaps I had no time to think about it. consequently.had really accepted her as a "disciple" and. and receive his benediction". walked meekly and bewildered behind them. namely the one who would partially bear the burden of our Karma. I realized I already knew it: it was the Kundalini-breathing technique. I accepted without objections their demand of swearing everlasting devotion not only to the Guru P.
I was quietly confident that . looking back. I believed they were "channels" through which the blessings of the Guru flowed. 30
." If I had received that teaching instead of the simplified version. Yet. nobody was encouraged – even vaguely – to conduct an experiment and come to a conclusion by himself. I must objectively admit that the results were not different from those gotten through the practice of the simpler technique of Ujjayi Pranayama.they had already reached the highest level of spiritual realization. I was not disappointed because the technique appeared perfect to me. taught during the thirties (adding the chanting of Om in the Chakras) I would have obtained better results -. But if you want to go beyond that number. strengthening my determination to perfect unceasingly my Kriya path. along an elliptical circuit". 8
After much experimenting which happened in the following years and considering also the reports of some sincere friends who tried out different forms of Kriya Pranayama.Y.I am referring to being able to listen to astral sounds (and Om sound) without closing the ears. far more beautiful than what certain schools now offer as "original Kriya. Kriya Pranayama as PY taught it in the years 1930s is indeed a masterpiece.even if they would not admit it out of humility . I would instinctively look for their advice as if it were given by perfect beings that could never be wrong. I would have touched the sky with one finger."
This intensified my enthusiasm. it is so fine to add the mental chanting of Om in the Chakras. It was taken for granted that if the least amount of doubt on the correctness of a certain detail had arisen during the practice. Each technique's detail was explained in such a way that it would not allow for the smallest variation and. I learned to interact only with them. I am sure that if I had practiced Kriya in the way P. when it is cruelly and foolishly private of vital points. a specific routine was warmly recommended. Sometimes I bitterly ask myself: "Why P. The explanation of the techniques Maha Mudra and Jyoti Mudra (they never used the more common term Yoni) concluded the technical instructions. it was written that the energy had to be rotated "around the Chakras. This. The received technique was very good for. 14-24 breaths. I often repeated to myself the sentence (quoted in AOY) by Lalla Yogiswari:
"What acid of sorrow have I not drunk? Countless my rounds of birth and death. The only "correct" action that was fair to do was to contact the headquarters of our Kriya organization. During the day or before sitting down to practice it.Y. could become a limitation for those who are able to practice a great number of Kriya breaths. let us say. in addition. tell them the problem and receive further guidelines.Pranayama. in effect. having always kept alive that ardent belief. was what I always did. Besides. Lo! naught but nectar in my cup quaffed by the art of breath. Problems with the Routine I am not able to express the emotion and feeling of sacredness which characterized my practice of Kriya Pranayama. which Ujjayi Pranayama cannot give. yielded to the temptation of simplifying it"? A simpler technique can be a delight for most people but.
Then. Sometimes I noticed an enormous and unreasonable resistance toward such a discussion. the sound of Om was the mystic experience itself. In my practical experience. During the Hong-So technique. interrupting it in order to practice the Maha Mudra and Pranayama. I went on without changing the prescribed routine. the thought that I should soon interrupt it to start the Om technique brought about a disturbing feeling. At that time. Eventually.I had some problems which I am going now to discuss. while the time devoted to the final concentration was too short. the goal I sought. fed by man. she bluntly declared she already had a Guru and did not need another. The first exercise to be practiced was the observation of the breath (the Hong-So technique) and this had to last 10 to 15 minutes. many friends went on
.this would require about the same time. I realized how hard it was for them to talk about such things. hoping for a hypothetical future evolution of an unclear situation. the idea of using my brain seemed to me an act of stupid arrogance. Talking with a lady who was a longtime friend of our family. while others were not able to understand what I was saying. the Kriya routine would be concluded with a full ten-minute concentration on the Kutastha. what sort of friendship can exist between two persons when one uses that mode of expression? To pass by such episodes one after the other confirmed the idea that not being encouraged to trust the limpidity of self-observation. she pretended to listen attentively but in the end. the Kriya Pranayama began with rigorous respect to all the instructions. tend to forget how to be self-sufficient. The same happened with the procedure of the second technique. There were those who were not satisfied with their practice but planned to try it again in the future (at that time they would postpone listening to my reasoning). I am embarrassed to confess that it lasted three years. the listening to the internal sounds began -. Her remark cut me deeply since my intention was only to have a rational talk which could be inspiring for both of us. to absorb the results of the whole endeavor. These problems could have been easily resolved if I had used common sense. the two preliminary techniques did not receive the attention they deserved. Apart from this. why should I interrupt that sublime attunement to regain it through another technique? Perhaps because Kriya Pranayama was a higher procedure? Higher? What on earth does that mean? It is complete nonsense! I forced myself into such absurdity for an extremely long period. It was illogical. When I tried to discuss this problem with other kriyabans. After Jyoti Mudra. hampering my whole surrender to its beauty. setting back in a still and stiff position to restore the feeling of sacredness. Such was the power of that insanity that in our group was called "loyalty". The technique of listening to Om was a complete "universe" in itself and led to the mystic experience: that is why its interruption was something worse than a simple disturbance. Then there would follow another interruption because of the Maha Mudra. The breathing was supposed to become more relaxed and create a good state of concentration. after putting the forearms on a support. I must acknowledge that unfortunately I had become like one of those animals that.
knowing the total loneliness in which he lived. into the deification process of this inspiring figure. the paramount importance was loyalty toward P.mechanically performing what many times had become an empty ritual. together with others I had experienced in that school. My approach to the spiritual path was so different from theirs that there was no hope of reaching a point of contact or common ground. With the exception of one person (who harbored really strange ideas about the spiritual path. In my reasoning. could constitute the death of his spiritual adventure..Y. They impregnated it with the natural heart's affection for their Guru .even if they had known him only from photos .not because of consanguinity. convocations. Looking back at those times. I wonder what their opinion about my impatient attitude was in contrast to their passiveness. I tried to convince him that to slip into an uncritical personality cult. which would appease their conscience. There were moments in which. I was witness to an inexorable process that brought him to the point of living only from the memory of the warm rays of a glance and a simple nod once received from the woman who was head of the Kriya organization and the spiritual successor of P. It was normal that he felt the highest respect for that human channel who was officially invested by the mission for transmitting their particular "benediction". worthy of the maximum respect and admiration.Y. their subtle vibration. But my companion seemed irremediably spellbound by the idea of "transmission of power". His supreme dream was always to create a friendly tie with that divine being. We met each other in the last years of his life. they tried with any external means (readings. these new kriyaban friends seemed to censor my excessive interest in techniques. is still present in their descendants -. The problem was that perhaps this attainment had become more important than meditation. He was convinced that spiritual progress cannot happen except through receiving this "power". walking and speaking quietly. I could not conceive of the idea of leaning passively under the protection of a saint who solved all our problems. He explained that in all great mystical traditions the strength of the great Teachers of the past.) to extract from the depths of their psyche any trace of religious attitude. whom he felt was the epitome of his ideal of perfection. They called the solidity of their surrender to such ideal: "Bhakti" – devotion. it broke my heart to remain months without seeing him.e. I became acquainted with an elderly kriyaban. any scrap of spiritual aspiration.obtaining thus the resolution of a lifelong commitment. we always met for short and transient afternoons. While their effort in practicing the meditation techniques in a deep way was not remarkable. This fact. who had begun the Kriya path many years before. devotional chanting. to the point that it crossed my mind that he was mentally unstable).. claiming that devotion was much more important. Often they referred to concepts I could hardly link to the practice of Yoga i. as a non-stop chain. and his organization. but through the transmission of their "power". It was reasonable then that he had tried to achieve a place of importance in their heart. He expressed something that years before he would not have
. For various reasons this was inevitable.. was a cause of real conflict.
There is no doubt that Saint John of the cross heard the typical rushing water sound of the Om vibration. In a dimension of utter authenticity.intuition or mirage? Who cares if it lightened up and sustained the first years of his path -. is made and sustained by God's vibration.the sound of Om is referred to in literature also as "Omkar". rather. "Shabda". in fact. the Kriya techniques were.Y. like a religious ritual which had to be performed scrupulously just to give proof of loyalty.not made as a result of two or more objects striking one another. astral or causal worlds. since it is the bridge between the physical and the astral world. I felt a giant wave of inexplicable nostalgia which was ready to overwhelm me. as if they burned in a furnace. To this he was sweetly resigned. And the Word was with God and the Word was God" (St. "Pranava". achieved through Kriya. He had given his full approval to the idea that on this planet there were special people. Unfortunately. Looking at how superficially -. Sound plays a vital role in all the mystical traditions. through constant barrage of anecdotes. How wretched it had been for my friend.he had practiced the techniques of meditation. for him. and his voice as the sound of many waters" (Revelation 1:15). but in the upper part of the head. God is not the universe but the universe is part of God. where the soul is said to have its special seat. "Self realized". Teresa of Avila in her book "The Interior Castle" wrote: "It roars like many big rivers with waterfalls. the "silent music". but it remained curbed. the belief that his supreme good depended on a loving glance from the person he felt as divine! He had made the unfortunate mistake to believe that the eternal spiritual source in the center of his being would dry out when he was far from the blessings of the one person toward whom he had directed the warm aspiration of his heart.
Appendix to chapter 2: readings on the experience of Om sound In that happy period of my life I tried tracking down in spiritual literature any movement or eminent figure who had a link with the subject: "Om" -. and irreparably common ones. he had no doubts that. the "sounding solitude". Whatever is manifest in the physical. Now that he is no longer alive.was gradually erased from his consciousness by the tendency of the organization to emphasize. he had certainly missed the "target". was undeniable. "And his feet like unto fine brass. He was already dreaming of future incarnations in which he could practice with great engagement. "In the beginning was the Word. a sound not coming to the human ear from outside of the body but. the greatness of certain persons who were "impudently" saintly. as if suspended around us. this axiom was the frame-work upon which he had been interweaving his thought. taught that the Divine essence sustains this universe through the Om vibration. Nevertheless. and a host of little birds seem to be whistling. He gave a splendid description of his meeting with the "resounding rivers". in this life. from within. P. majestic.even dared to think: the presumed evolution of the individual. the conscious and the unconscious." Om sound is the "unstruck" sound (Anahata) . "Nada Brahman". John's Gospel). "Seek the Sound that never ceases. It is. there are flutes. not in the ears. one day he vented all of his gloom. seek the sun that never 33
. but so slow as to be practically negligible. perfect. I wonder if the intuition of the transforming power of Kriya he had over forty years ago while relishing each line of AOY -. animate or inanimate. the form and the formless.so he said -.
The literature about Kabir (1398 Benares . "Asceticism doesn't consist in ascetic robes. In contrast. burning all the resistances. It is invisible. Kutastha is revealed to us. hear the sound of the flute and lo. or in having a walking staff. the world became the arena of spiritual endeavor. the great mystic poet of Calcutta.1448/1494 Maghar) and Guru Nanak (1469 Nankana Sahib . he shunned the religious rituals. I found the full meaning of the yogic practice in him. not to cultivate any extreme approach to the spiritual discipline.1539 Kartarpur) is very inspiring. in Guru Nanak's teaching. conceived beyond name and form. open to the vedantic and yogic influence. He disapproved of ascetic practices and taught instead to remain inwardly detached whilst living as a householder. The poems and sentences ascribed to him are expressed in a particularly effective language that remains permanently emblazoned in the reader's memory. When I arrived. dogmas and ignorance . Kabir taught not to renounce to life and become a hermit. I saw that there was no God. Kabir. from It came into being the Light. Kabir conceived Islam and Hinduism as two roads converging toward a unique goal: he was always convinced of the possibility of overcoming the barriers that separate these two great religions. and entered the heavens. Beloved Guru Nanak gave the same teaching. was a great mystic. born in the silence of introspection. because it weakens the body and increases pride. Asceticism is not mere words. I thought I could relate this to the Omkar teaching. Wherever I look I find it. In the last century. he says that there is a garden full of flowers in our body. That God has to be recognized inside of one's own soul . the Chakras. but it is vital to keep it constantly in our consciousness as a living presence. Rabindranath Tagore." (Guru Nanak). asceticism is to remain pure amidst impurities!" Traditionally. the confluence of the Ganga and Jamuna. and an endless beauty can be contemplated if the awareness is established into the ''thousand-petal Lotus''. He did not seem to base his teaching upon the authority of the holy writings. Muslim of origin. an illiterate weaver.like a fire fed by continuous care." (Kabir). "The Sound is inside us. There were deep similarities with the experiences and thought of Lahiri Mahasaya. rediscovered the reliability of his teachings. He was 34
. is the compass needle. According to him this Shabda-Om dispels all doubts and difficulties. Their teachings overlapped perfectly. By following it. "The universe was manifested out of the Divine Sound.sets".the strength of fighting all the forms of idolatry and the caste system. since He resided in the Saints!" Hinduism gave Kabir the concept of reincarnation and the law of Karma. It penetrates the inner and the outer and leads you away from illusion. therefore the householder's life was considered an impediment and an entanglement. nor in visiting burial places. which can be translated as "Word" (the word of the Master).this beautifully appears in Kabir's saying: "One day my mind flew as a bird in the sky. "Who is there playing upon a flute in the middle of the sky? The flute is being played in trikuti (eyebrows center). an extraordinary singer of the Divine. release from the bondage of the world was sought as the goal." "It is a music without strings which plays in the body. wrote the great mystic Rumi." (Shams-i Tabrizī). the divine call present in each man's body. they are all hypnotized by the nada. Regarding his concept of Shabda. Om. the power of his poetry and made beautiful translations of his songs into English. Islam gave him the absolute monotheism . The sound emanates from the north! Cowherd girl.
God must be seen through "the inward eye".Y.Y. It is interesting that the key distinctive feature of Sikhism is a non-anthropomorphic concept of God. they affirmed that this Shabda was the Word referred to in the Bible: "In the beginning was the Word. either using the classic squatting position. In his teachings there are hints on the possibility of listening to an ineffable internal melody (Omkar) and to taste the nectar (Amrit). 9 It is also referred to as Sant Mat (Path of the Saints). some groups move Prana up and down the spine. considered a derivation of Sikhism. If this is true. While a full understanding of God is beyond human beings. to the extent that one can interpret God as the Universe itself." Shabda means "word". ephemeral wraps imposed by the human mind.bewitched by the beauty of creation and considered the panorama of nature as the loveliest scene for worship of the Divine. They practice the couple of techniques Hong So and Om which embody the principles of Radhasoami. orthodox modes of worship.. and from the priestly class. and the Word was God. I conceived the Kriya path as a process of refining. One of the main Hindu texts. His teaching demanded an entirely new approach.it was exactly the same teaching. Some combine the listening to the inner sounds with the attempt to taste nectar (Amrit) by sticking the tongue to the roof of the mouth. He made a deliberate attempt to completely cut off his disciples from all the ritualistic practices. at the conclusion of all my readings. could be listened to through Surat Shabda Yoga. On calm reflection.. In some Kriya literature it is written that P.Y. the dynamic force of creative energy that was continuously being sent out from the Supreme Being at the dawn of the universe's manifestation throughout the ages. sought in the "heart": he emphasized the revelation of this to be achieved through meditation. 35
. Omkar is the final goal of Kriya and the unique essence which percolates through all its phases. The Om technique is practiced by Radhasoami groups covering their ears and eyes. Radhasoami extols the role of the Guru. was well known and was the Radhasoami faith. Before listening to the sound and seeing the light.
The Sikh religion is founded on the teachings of Guru Nanak and nine successive Gurus.'s teachings will read with shivers of surprise what the very foundation of his spiritual life is. all disciples and students of Kriya Yoga are part of Radhasoami faith without being aware of it. had belonged to this movement. is a dialog between God in the form of Krishna and the warrior prince Arjuna. our attunement with Omkar. he described God as not wholly unknowable. This is a practical teaching of how to listen to the inner sound of Omkar -. Every kriyaban who feels a strong bond with P. the "Audible Life Stream" or the "Essence of the Absolute Supreme Being". with the same words that I received from my Kriya organization! Surat means "soul. A monotheistic religion having the Omkar Reality as the ''single God'' existed. the Bhagavad Gita. Kriya Yoga is the faith of Kabir and Guru Nanak: a monotheistic religion where the ''single God'' is substituted by Omkar! All the other names given to the Last Reality (also used by Lahiri Mahasaya in his diaries) are entirely useless words. and the Word was with God." (John 1:1) The Sound vibration. The "word" is the "Sound Current". I studied it enthusiastically because everything I read reminded me of the writings of P. molding all things animate and inanimate. His disregard for Sanskrit suggested that his message was without reference to the existent Holy Scriptures. resting their elbows on the knees or using an arm prop. He expressed his teachings in Punjabi. it is the fifth-largest organized religion in the world. the spoken language of northern India. then for all intents and purposes.'s organization. One has the impression he gave a unique meaning to the concept of monotheism. There is no doubt that the concept of Guru has a special place in Indian thought.Y.! With the same words of P. in successive stages.
which is given to the authorized representative leading the structured initiation ceremony. appears to them at the moment of death in order to introduce them to God. The spiritual power of a Guru is transmitted after his Mahasamadhi by an uninterrupted series of authorized representatives. A formal recognition of this fact includes the Gurudakshina. Guru . This role is so important that there is a saying that if the devotee were presented to the Guru and God. first he would pay respect to the Guru.Their dialog summarizes the ideal relationship between Guru and disciple.'s organization. the transmission of mystical power (Diksha) happens as if the Guru were physically present. the living Satguru (Sat . In Radhasoami thinking this relationship is elaborated in great detail -. It was explained that during initiation.true. the concept of Guru-Parampara is emphasized.
.exactly in the same way I heard from P. a valuable sign of gratitude to his Guru. A Guru takes on himself part of the karma of the disciple. In the Radhasoami literature. Through its inner Light one comes to "know God".Y.teacher) activates this Shabda which becomes the inner Satguru stationed at the third eye of the disciple. since the Guru had been instrumental in leading him to God. A disciple could never break off the sacred connection with the Guru under any circumstances. In this way.
CHAPTER 3 THE VALUE OF JAPA
P.Y. wrote that the Second Kriya Yoga enables the yogi to leave his body consciously at will. To be instructed in such a delicate mechanism was one of my dreams. I was sure that practicing with such a procedure would have a strong effect on my spiritual evolution. After I received the last lesson of the correspondence course, I could finally apply to receive that instruction. Unfortunately, many written details were ambiguous and no direct initiations were ever given. Because of the dynamics of this technique (an armrest to keep the ears comfortably closed with the fingers, the embarrassment of being seen by someone passing by) I avoided outdoor practice. Apparently, this technique wasn't producing the expected results. I went ahead, utilizing all my endurance and stamina built up with the Om technique. Some strong experiences began to verify in the spine. "Strong" doesn't convey the right message: the love I then experienced toward the Divine was something amazingly baffling for what I knew was my personality and nature. Despite this, the promised results, typically pertaining to the technique, like perceiving the color of each Chakra in the screen of Kutastha, never took place. Having doubts about how best to perform the Second Kriya and uncertainty about how to learn Kechari Mudra (P.Y. wrote it was an important technique to be practiced regularly in order to awaken Kundalini), I contacted the elderly lady who taught me the preliminary techniques and was officially invested as a "Meditation Counselor". She had learned the Higher Kriyas years ago and only in written form, just as I did. Strange to say - in my opinion, an unforgivable negligence - she had never had them checked by direct disciples of P.Y., having had plenty of opportunities to do so. (Since I knew she had spent much time talking with direct disciples of P.Y., I wondered what more important matters they had to discuss.) Subsequently, she lost such written material and never asked for a copy of it. In other words, perhaps she knew less than me about the subject since she was unable to clarify my technical doubts. Among the kriyabans in the meditation group, there was a lady, who had received Kriya initiation many years before and had once lived near our school's general offices. I asked if she had received the Second Kriya. She didn't seem to understand the question. So, with astonishment, I reminded her that Lahiri Mahasaya's disciple, Swami Pranabananda, accompanied the moment of his death with the practice of the Second Kriya. She became visibly nervous, saying that the quotation clearly referred to the technique of Pranayama: one breath, then a second one, and this had to be, in her opinion, the "Second Kriya"! I looked at her with a meek and piercing look; I felt my legs give way. I had the impression that the idea itself of a further technique to be added in time to the too many already received and practiced daily, upset her. It was as if she felt she had made so great an effort in setting the habit of a daily practice of the First Kriya, that she could not bring forth a more engaging dedication. I know that, up to this day, she has remained fixed in her conviction. I had still not recovered from the "shock", of the revelation of the
aristocratic-looking lady who had received initiation in the so-called Higher Kriyas. Full of enthusiasm, my eyes opened wide. She said she had felt so unworthy that she had put them aside and, after some time, she had forgotten them entirely. This last abomination was inconceivable to me: unintentionally, she had revealed to me the lowest place in which she had pushed what P.Y. had written. Her self-satisfied ignorance passed off for humbleness, crossed the bounds of decency. When I expressed my objection that her behavior seemed an exhibition of indifference toward the higher teachings taught by her Guru, she looked at me in bewilderment as if my impertinence had violated an implicit law: do not impudently enter the intimate dimension of her Sadhana. She replied saying that what she had was enough; then briskly cut off discussion of that topic. Difficulties with the Printed Material Related to the Higher Kriyas After one year I received the lessons for the Third and the Fourth Kriya. The greatest failure happened when I added them to my routine but that taught me a fundamental lesson: never end a Kriya routine with techniques requiring movement! Since I read these techniques led to the experience of astral Samadhi, I put them at the last place, in the hope of achieving such state through them. The instructions about the routine to be followed were hazy; practicing those new techniques at the end of my daily routine seemed obvious to me. I got only restlessness and sense of nausea. The disappointment was bitter. 10 I didn't even attempt to clarify my doubts by addressing old kriyabans. I wrote to the headquarters of P.Y.'s organization to schedule an appointment with one of its representative Ministers who would soon come to our country. I hoped to clarify everything on that occasion. I reflected on the fact that it would not have been easy to find the time to have this interview but when the Minister arrived, he said he would clarify my doubts as soon as possible. I was dismayed when I figured out that the Minister kept on postponing our meeting without valid reasons. Since I decided not to give up, we finally met. I went through something truly unpleasant. I was convinced that hypocrisy, bureaucracy, formality, hidden falsity and subtle violence to one's honesty were totally alien to one who devoted his life to practicing and teaching Kriya. Yet, the sensation I had was akin to meeting a business man, who had more important affairs in mind and who was very irritable. He was emphatic not to talk about Kechari Mudra and with regard to the head movements of the Third and Fourth Kriya techniques, he advised me
These procedures, in order to express the fullness of their potential, had to be internalized either by following specific instructions (which I didn't possess at that moment) or by gradually diminishing their physical component. Only through this way Prana tends to subside while all one's awareness is absorbed in the meditative state. When, after a couple of years, I changed the routine and had these techniques followed by a further practice of Omkar Pranayama, dissolving thereafter any restless of the breath in a sweet mental Pranayama, all started working again in the best of ways. 38
brutally to restrict my practice to the First Kriya. He declared I was overexcited and this was not a good sign for a kriyaban (... I was only in a desperate and deeply disappointed mood). I didn't question his opinion of me; I replied I would surely keep in consideration his advice, nevertheless, I wanted to see how to move my head correctly in order to practice that technique in a hypothetical future. Annoyed -- taking my remark as an insolence -- he recommended me to write my questions to the school's head. In vain I replied that the movements of the head could not be shown through a letter: I was in front of a "wall" and the refusal was absolute. I had trusted and respected P.Y.'s organization; I had studied the whole reference literature as if preparing for a university exam. I was now consternated to bear witness to the senseless whims of a man in power. 11 After the interview with that ill-disposed figure, I was in an atrocious mental and emotional state. Why should I feel guilty and unsuitable for the Kriya path, only because of my daring to ask (kindly but firmly) that demonstration? I was not able to drop the whole matter. There are childish thoughts that emerge in difficult moments: I was afraid that this man, communicating back to the headquarters of P.Y.'s organization, might speak unfavorably of me, saying something that might have reduced the probability for me to obtain that coveted information in the future. I feared I could no longer rely on the heavenly relationship with that Kriya organization, which, for so many years, had represented my horizon. Those who saw me immediately after the meeting were shocked: they said I was unrecognizable. A devotee with a honeyed voice suggested that I got an important earful from Gurudeva. I understood what she meant: up to that time, I had a too much self-assured attitude. Strange as it might seem, a part of me, was intimately relishing the whole situation. I knew for certain that this destructive experience would somehow be turned into something positive, crucial for my path. Perhaps the self-learned enthusiast of Pranayama who was lurking in me, was awakened from too long a sleep by means of this healthy "kick in the butt". The lady "Meditation Counselor" who was not present on that occasion but met the Minister in another town, blamed me for having made the interview with the Minister a troublesome event. I wrote her a bitter letter, insulting her indirectly. She replied very firmly implying that my letter ended our friendship. Later she toned down her attitude and invited my in her house to talk about the happening. First of all, I expressed her my irrevocable determination to explore all the possible sources to have my queries clarified exhaustively. I discussed the project of leaving for India. She mumbled something about India that I could not grasp. She mentioned the fact that India was not guarantee of
Very probably that Minister gave me the same discipline he received during his postulant years. A lady who had known him at that time, depicted him as a very curious kriyaban who usually put many technical questions to elder Ministers. Knowing the rules of monastic discipline, I was sure that his queries weren't always answered promptly. 39
authenticity. She spoke at length, uninterruptedly, for about an hour. Recently, some kriyabans had found in a well known Ashram strictly tied with P.Y. life story, a Swami who gave them "pseudo Kriya" techniques that were in her opinion very dangerous. She said that there was nothing unusual about it; there were many unauthorized teachers introducing themselves as loyal disciples of P.Y.. With a vivid imagination, she compared them with spiders spreading the honey of Guru's love to attract devotees who became their preys. She spoke about a disciple of P.Y., who had been formerly part of the direction of the organization, then had branched out on his own opening another Kriya school: a "traitor" to her. She compared him to the angel Lucifer, beautiful and intelligent. She went on explaining that intelligence is a double-edged weapon: it can be used to eliminate the swelling of ignorance and also to cut off abruptly the lifeblood that sustains the spiritual path. Then she lost herself talking about discipline, loyalty... The lady had material to go ahead with her stories indefinitely, but it was then that it slipped out of my mouth a very strong sentence which surprised me and froze her: "Should I receive a Kriya teaching from the worse criminal in the world, I would be able to turn it into gold. Should it be polluted, I would have the intuition to separate the wheat from the chaff". She was astonished that her many words and scolding proved useless. She said with a sigh that my logic originated from a wounded ego and I was moving dangerously close to losing the grace of my Guru-disciple relationship. In order to let me understand the value of receiving the instructions from a true Guru, she told me what happened when one of his disciples decided to leave P.Y.'s Ashram. The Guru, aware of this, got in the disciple's way to stop him, when he heard an inner voice - "the voice of God", she specified - ordering him not to interfere with the disciple's freedom. The Guru obeyed and in a flash of intuition foresaw all the disciple's future incarnations, those in which he would be lost, in which he would keep on seeking – amid innumerable sufferings, jumping from one error to another – the path he was then relinquishing. Then, in the end, the disciple would return to the same path. The lady said that her Guru had been really accurate on the number of incarnations that the whole discouraging trip would have taken to – about thirty! The moral of this story was clear, something from which one could not escape: I had to avoid looking elsewhere otherwise I would lose myself in a labyrinth of enormous sufferings and who knows when I would be able to get back on the correct path. Everything the organization through its representatives asked me came directly from God, it was "God's will". It was then that I shifted my attention to the photograph of P.Y. taken on the day of his death. It was framed nicely, some flowers and packets of incense were put before it. In those moments of silence, I had the sensation that tears were going to form in his blissful eyes (it was not a bizarre feeling, other people told me they had the same impression). I related my impressions to her, in response to which she became so serious and, with her eyes pointed far off toward an indefinite spot, she soberly uttered: "You have to consider it a warning: the Guru is not
By telling me of one or other episodes of P. but how could she thwart my inner nature? She did only what was in her power: she could not relieve my immense thirst for knowledge of the art of Kriya. At the time. She had explained me that she never skimped on fresh flowers to her "Guru.one was the praxis of Kechari Mudra. I was determined to know Kriya inside out and no one could stop me. I had the clear impression that she was permanently expecting me to act in a somewhat "disloyal" way. I am very thankful for all her sincere efforts and time spent. she tried to let me share her experiences. who had a clash with the school's board of directors and set up on their own. taped lectures and all. My search took a particular route: she herself gave me three names of direct disciples of P. The search for technical explanations made me tense like a coiled spring. I was expecting that in order to show how they had become proficient with Kriya.Y.Y.surprising and valuable since. rather I would never be calm any more. they would come out with intriguing sentences. I let my gaze rest on the flower bouquet of may lilies graciously arranged in a small vase before the photo of P. That Minister at least on one point was right: I was not calm at all. How full of sweet comfort had to be her life! I was very far from the same intensity of love. in the literature of the third disciple . because her devotion toward the Guru was totally alien to me. Looking into her beautiful but sad eyes. I didn't accept vetoes. pedagogically gifted. The first disciple seemed an expert in idle chatter and was reluctant with giving practical instructions. Although remaining faithful to my Kriya organization.Y. having met the tragedy of mental illness. I purchased all their published material. I realized how P. if they had some. deeper than the material provided by the main school. For a long time I hoped to find clues in some book which could help me to clarify my doubts concerning the practice of the Higher Kriyas ." Although extraneous to all this. A faint expectation lingered in me that they gave the reader (who neglected the principal source to listen to their voice of dissent) the present of a more accurate didactic material. were well guarded! Months later.Y. We had purchased them at the train station immediately after my arrival in her town.. although she had never met him! This had a deep impact on my emotional sphere. but from of all his literature and tapes only one of his sentences shed a faint light upon one of the Higher Kriyas. the meditation counselor came to know that I had read the "forbidden" books. the second were the psychophysical blows with which P. he recounted exhaustively his anguish . I had no doubt that in the third millennium a person can read
.I found (save for an illumining sentence upon the role of Kechari Mudra) only a devastating banality.Y. The secrets.'s life. was a "presence" in her life.content with you"! There was not the least doubt that she was not joking at all. assured it was possible to awaken the Chakras. Without saying anything to her. the second one was undoubtedly more professional. I was enchanted by this idyll. Although she admired the earnestness with which I was making progress – unlike so many other tepid and half-hearted people who would go to her only to be reloaded with the motivation they could not find in themselves – she was dismayed.
.whatever he considers more convenient and so I did. with an endless number of repetitions in addition to continuous changes of topic. The lack of care in them made me suppose that the author had not bothered checking the original texts he had quoted. I decided to study again all the material furnished by P. I shudder at the thought of how fruitless our efforts were. continuing a chain where each author would add something to mark his personal contribution. They were but blank.) They disappointed me and made me miss the clarity of P. The practical notes. I decided that in order to perfect meditation. was interesting: I made a present of it to some friends. resulted from the fact that. although clarifying almost nothing. I could sense that her actions were driven by waves of emotions and decades of steadfast conditioning. her countenance was at last tranquil and serene as if tasting a delicious. Once I felt that the experience with the group of study had ended. I would get annoyed at those people who hinted there were Kriya secrets to be gained outside P. meaningless words. The books written by Lahiri Mahasaya's direct disciples (or by their disciples) were few: mainly commentaries on spiritual classics (at that time certain interesting books like Puran Purush had not yet been published. each detail of my life should be lived in a yogic way. a sentence that matched those
. so they can do the same"! Her reaction had been so emphatic that I wasn't hurt at all.Y.Y. who had no connection with P.'s organization and to delve deeper into it.Y. read crucial passages from the correspondence course and dwell on them during a walk. handing out daggers to other people as well. presented as essential. working routine. I am sure that while typewriting that letter and pouring into it lots of other considerations to free all the accumulated tension. which I considered unbearable. he was unique and I was confident that I would use only his teaching for the rest of my life.Y. Everyone embarked in a personal study of which those talks represented the peak.Y. In order to cope with the problems arising from a delicate relationship. A friend of mine showed me a letter in which she had called me "a man who stabs his Guru's back. Overcoming a certain reluctance. I used to meet some kriyaban friends on Sundays. irretrievably affecting her common sense.'s writing. I chose. one of those books. in my opinion. Actually our main interest was how to perfect the practice of each technique and conceive a flexible. But our efforts to unravel all the subtleties of this art using only the power of rational thinking applied to the correspondence course was like drawing blood from a stone.'s writings. among all P. I felt a sort of tenderness toward her.Y. He most probably took those quotations from books which were also quoting from other reference books.'s legacy. I began reading some books written by Lahiri Mahasaya's disciples. Yet that went for about two years until a profound personal crisis uprooted any previously acquired scheme. Seeing her own expectations regarding my behavior coming true. intimate satisfaction. were but scattered notes copied from classical books on Yoga. My hesitation in dropping the literature linked with P.
His Aphorisms and his epic poem Savitri had deeply impressed me. or the Divine Materialism. Two years before. By approaching Mère's comment to Sri Aurobindo's aphorisms. The failure came and it was desolating and shameful. I was acting as if I were supported from "above". But Mère's thought had nothing to do with philosophy. while acting in a way contrary to ordinary common sense. dissolving any myth. Inspiration from the Works of Mère and Sri Aurobindo For some months I wasn't able to track down the thread of a single coherent thought.the refusal to accept to take upon oneself one's own share of the burden of difficulties. I refused to believe I had acted wrongly. From 1958 to her death in 1973. one with everything that is anti-divine.the intelligent and evolutive force at the base of any existing thing could come to a perfect manifestation on this planet! "The world is not an unfortunate accident: it is a miracle moving toward its full expression". a book about the Mother (Mère) written by her beloved disciple: Satprem. I didn't apply integrally P. Do not try to be among the pure. This huge document — 6000 pages in 13 volumes — is the account of twenty-two years of Mother's discoveries. Accept to be with those who are in darkness and give it all with total love." Annotating it. It was new. Take your share of the burden. she wrote:
"The need to be virtuous is the great obstacle to true self-giving. I believed that mine was an apparent failure and that one day my way of acting could appear wise and heroic.'s thought but the interpretation that my ego desired. the Mother was the one continuing his research and giving ground to his dream that the Divine ."
By saying on another occasion: "Morality is the great obstacle on the spiritual
. This is the origin of Falsehood and even more the very source of hypocrisy -. imagining that the benedictions and the strength of the Guru were with me. I was convinced the other person was unable to live up to the standards of my actions. the Mother tried to find the passage to the next species. See how much you are united. At first. I started reading Mother. Do not try to appear virtuous. slowly but inexorably. I was prepared to read the usual elementary explanations of Indian philosophy. "In matter. In this way. I was introduced to the thought of Sri Aurobindo. then things will change. the Divine becomes perfect…" she wrote. to discover a new mode of life in matter and narrated her extraordinary exploration to Satprem. After Sri Aurobindo's death. And in so far as you are capable of taking it and offering it. I could not accept it.plans of behavior toward which my emotions drove me.Y. accept yourselves to be impure and false and in that way you will be able to take up the Shadow and offer it. then thou wilt be more charitable and pitiful to others. My approach was devoid of watchfulness and discrimination.70: "Examine thyself without pity. Their talks are written out it Mother's Agenda. in 1951. I felt an explosion of joy reading her comment to aphorism n. something never heard. Then my illusory dream began to disintegrate.
" [This quotation. people become true individuals only when. I was very impressed with how she dealt with the theme of Japa. are drawn from Mother's Agenda." In many passages of Mother's Agenda they discussed how the Mantra calms the persons in surrounding areas by creating an atmosphere of such an intensity that disharmonies cease to exist. even though she tried to extract from her disciples looking for inspiration all their hidden potential. but to behave according to the truth of one's being. According to her teaching. as if all the cells of the body had . all of a sudden" but "It has to spring up without thinking.. as well as the next ones. she said to Satprem: "Sri Aurobindo gave none [Mantra]. there is now only one single vibration. OM NAMO BHAGAVATEH . a single massive concentration. power and knowledge. It becomes as hard as a diamond. they are perfectly and in a compact manner unified around their divine center. as it were.. all the gestures I make. I was so stiff that I was one single mass. in a tremendous concentration – with a single vibration. Actually. she always began with the repetition of the Mantra and there was a response in the cells of her body: they all started vibrating as "seized with an intensity of aspiration" and that vibration went on expanding. It simply springs forth in a flash. he would have seen that the purely psychological method is inadequate and that a Japa is necessary. So I had to find the method all alone.. when I am normal). It is not the place here to dwell upon the subtle phases of her work in the body: she used the Mantra to hasten it. she stressed the value of not trying to become pure in other people's eyes. in a constant pursuit of a greater beauty. all. everything I do. But now that things are ready. She reported that: "It (the Mantra) coagulates something: all the cellular life becomes one solid. harmony. like a reflex. Instead of all the usual vibrations of the body. She did this and the result was extraordinary.. without calling: it should issue forth from the being spontaneously.. She wondered what would happen if she repeated that Mantra during her daily meditation. all
. all.] Her practice of Japa consolidated into a life-long habit. to find my Mantra by myself. Furthermore: "Mantra has a great action: it can prevent an accident. To her. he said that one should be able to do all the work without having to resort to external means. I became stiff from it. one should acknowledge one's dark side: in the depths of our being it stirs the same substance which.." But the Mantra is also the sweetest of all the things: "On the days when I have no special preoccupations or difficulties (days I could call normal. has developed into a way of living which is shunned by society. all the movements of this body. all the words I utter. are accompanied and upheld by or lined. Had he reached the point where we are now. because only Japa has a direct action on the body.path". with this mantra: OM NAMO BHAGAVATEH . When she sat for meditation. compact mass. What was important for me was that she dared to challenge Sri Aurobindo's authority. in a few. I have done 10 years of work in a few months. exactly like a reflex. She recounted how during the screening of a film she heard the Sanskrit Mantra: OM NAMO BHAGAVATEH. Mère did not behave like a traditional Guru.
(This discipline is recommended in almost all books dealing with oriental meditative practices. a reversal of values. My personal commitment had been unimpressive. my mind was devoured by the illusion of adopting more advanced tools of "evolution". marked by lofty principles . all the time. If in the very beginning. Meanwhile. as it were". which excited and moved me. a gift from the Divine. "With those who have no Mantra. which did its utmost in believing what was convenient to believe. people began to look at me as a man who chose a simple life trend. tried to usurp its function. my own innermost convictions for which I had no means to express nor clarify even to myself.the time. an illusion. I tried to carry out the well-known instruction to resolutely maintain an impartial attitude toward both pleasant and unpleasant events. In Mère there was a revolution. whereas Japa imparts to those who practice it with a kind of precision. at the highest degree of excellence. Spellbound. resuming the reading of The Divine Materialism. They become galvanized. There were moments in which my head felt hot as if I was feverish. I was convinced that finding Kriya was like a stroke of luck. thanks to a certain merit of which I was unaware. I experimented with Mother's Om Namo Bhagavate . Japa did not enter my life. Mére's thought began to open my eyes on the actual situation of my way of practicing Kriya Yoga and revealed the complexity of my self-deception. in a euphorically vivid way. my "spiritually-oriented" brain didn't know how to answer back to any censure from others. And yet in that period. It was as if a large portion of my brain withdrew. Months went by with useless attempts to ameliorate my Kriya routine. a kind of solidity: an armature. It was lived with an indomitable aspiration for a divinization of life. all the time. One year later.not revealing how my fairness of
. even if they have a strong habit of meditation or concentration. while another one.but it did not work for me. I tried to live in a more conscious way (continuously attentive to any inward and outward perceptions). I was astonished that Mère was able to express. There was a fragrance in this never-met-before idea. something around them remains hazy and vague. I felt myself under unbearable stress as if it all was a pretense. I ceased to practice either Japa or the discipline or being a detached "witness" and forgot the matter. I also realized that the desire to abide by the values instilled in me by my culture was gradually twisted. it became so cunning that I started to behave "normally" in social life." A last amazing remark I quote is that she was able to notice the difference between those who have a Mantra and those who don't. The contemplation of Beauty in nature and in some forms of art like music. She reasoned like a westerner and treated the themes of India's spirituality with a western language which was both lyrical and rational. was not to be considered a fleeting emotion feeding a lazy nostalgia for an indefinite spiritual experience. I contemplated the shimmering splendor of a full manifestation of the Divine in the atoms of inert matter. being like a detached "witness".) After three days. Entering a Kriya-founded organization meant to be ensnared and bewildered by many fairy tales. subsequently.
I felt myself a privileged being to whom an unexpected advantage had been granted. I was ready to carry on tenaciously. about 12 years later. had lethal effects on me: it was the cradle in which my ego was fed and strengthened. I had swallowed the childish idea that each Kriya breath could produce "the equivalent of a solar year of spiritual evolution" and that through a million of these breaths I would infallibly reach Cosmic Consciousness. I look at it as a sun and I hope to never forget its lesson. having received Kriya. to achieve a state of mental silence by using Japa during my daily life. I found the courage to be again a self-taught person. I found myself in the same situation. It was imperative to recreate the spirit of an authentic search. To remind myself that I entered the Kriya organization only to perfect my already good practice of Pranayama created a thorny pain. 2. The iron will of my discipline was softened by the hypnotic atmosphere of the "Guru's Blessings". Now. Day after day. I didn't realize into what situation I had relentlessly slipped and therefore I felt no shame or remorse."Aren't you enthusiastic that He has been chosen for you by God Himself?" "Oh yes we are happy" we replied with tears of joy. This disclosed a real heaven for me! Afterwards. After reading Sri Aurobindo and Mère. which still remains in my heart as a peak
. hides and sleeps satisfied upon it. This idea. I dreamt about its unthinkable progression and was quietly excited during each instant of it. I carried on my ideals and my discipline tenaciously.judgment was impaired. the idea of practicing "the fastest technique in the field of spiritual evolution" made the intensity of my effort lose its edge. An event arose from this decision. My Kriya Pranayama. Apart from other foolish thoughts. While practicing. The result was the Kundalini experience. more than any other factor. became a tranquil good habit. I could only rely on my intuition. "Aren't you glad of having found a true Guru?" -. despite criticisms and doubts. During the season of my first interest in esoteric matters and oriental practice of meditation. to throw away the Kriya routine I had practiced until then and apply Patanjali's principles. when the initial enthusiasm diminished. I had to stop behaving like a man who had found a treasure. when other distractions and doubts came. Two Important Decisions What I am about to describe was the most rewarding period of my life. practiced with enthusiasm for some months. especially the wish to pursue. two basic ideas: 1. The instructions were simple: I put my passion in them. my idea of Beauty. through Yoga. I found easy-to-follow instructions in an unassuming book. I tried just to perform the greatest possible number of Pranayama in order to complete quickly the abovementioned number.for years I heard this refrain from my Kriya organization -. and practically inexistent. My first efforts in exploring my book-learned Pranayama were accompanied by intelligence and constant striving for perfection.
. There is nothing remarkable up to this point. What comes after Pratyahara? Patanjali explains that after the breath's disappearance.experience -. 12 There are different ways of translating these Sanskrit terms. the borders between the two being indistinguishable in
Patanjali was a pioneer in the art of rationally handling the mystical path. discipline. Dharana is concentration (focusing the mind on it). Patanjali's is far from clarifying all the aspects of Kriya and there is a remarkable difference between the final steps of his Yoga (especially Dharana and Dhyana) and the related phases of Kriya Yoga. 1. all our five senses have thus been turned inward. Samadhi. Pranayama. Kriya Routine Abiding by Patanjali's Principles In the mystical path (Yoga). Many authors of Kriya Yoga say that the theory expressed by Patanjali is the same as Kriya Yoga. aiming at individualizing a universal. because of its temporal distance. inherent to the spiritual path. Patanjali pinpoints eight steps: Yama. that Patanjali and Lahiri Mahasaya substantially dealt with the same practice. I had no doubt that these suggestions had to be understood as concentration on the Chakras. From many years' experience and from readings. which fully explores all aspects of the chosen object). Dhyana. avoid lies. physiological direction of the inner events that explained why a certain phenomenon. Niyama: religious observances (cleanliness. You understand the techniques which require movement should be completed before this phase: the breath and the heart should have all the necessary time to slow down. a yogi should look for a physical or abstract object onto which he might turn his concentration and practice in a sort of contemplative meditation in such a way as to lose himself in it. The first interesting concept is Pranayama. The so called Higher Kriyas (each required movement) had to be ideally practiced inside the Pranayama phase. As for Asana (position of the body). Niyama. Patanjali explains it must be stable and comfortable. Asana. Dharana is the act of is focusing our attention. Therefore there is no hint about particular preliminary exercises of concentration and much less of meditation. should be preceded and necessarily followed by other ones. contentment. From Pranayama a state of calmness and poise is created which becomes the foundation of the subsequent step: Pratyahara where the awareness is disconnected from external reality. I believe that this is partly true. Dharana. Pratyahara. may be hard to understand. uninterrupted flow of awareness.meditation or contemplation as a steady. Samadhi is perfect spiritual absorption (deep contemplation in which the object of meditation becomes inseparable from the meditator himself). defined as regulation of the Prana by repetition of particular breathing patterns. Dharana spontaneously becomes Dhyana. To them a long phase of internalization of consciousness and energy in perfect immobility should follow. however. study of the Self and surrender to the Supreme God). Dhyana is the persistence of a focusing action -. Yama: self-control (nonviolence. his work is of extraordinary importance.mastering the breathless state. His extreme synthesis may be criticized or. avoid stealing. avoid being lustful and seek non-attachment).
I was absorbed by a great delight where I lost my space and time references. Samadhi is not only boundless joy but also the slowing down of the cardiac heartbeat while the body appears like dead.. Even if sometimes I felt a bit dazed. being one step away from his goal. Since I observed.slightly "touching" their nucleus along an anticlockwise (as viewed from above) path. was very pleasant. The concentration on the third eye . To meet the simplicity of his life and the greatness of his experience was very inspiring: his photo and the childlike simplicity of his smile kindled my intuition and inspired me during my practice. My attitude was not that of a supplicating and sobbing devotee. I began my routine with Maha Mudra. but that of a man who rejoices. 2. I thought that the Mantra could work in a similar way by cleaning my mental stuff and putting my "psychological furniture" in order. Kriya Pranayama with Mantra Om. Samadhi is the sudden burning with joy that sometimes appears. I was confident that it should be done aloud -.that "inward eye" which Wordsworth with appropriate words defines as "the bliss of solitude" . Mo. with no physical movements -.
.was Pranayama enriched by placing the syllables of the Mantra in the respective Chakras.. I loved to prolong its vibration. (6-12). Helped by a mala (rosary beads). From that moment onwards. which I had already heard in a spiritual song recording. Mental Silence and Japa I chose the Mantra of Swami Ramdas whose biography I was reading days. I maintained the determination never to discard the practice. make it vibrate in my chest and invest it with my heart's aspiration. Pratyahara began with a procedure that up till today I call "mental Pranayama". then I moved to the Pranayama phase which consisted of three sub-phases: Kriya Pranayama (12-24).as a bee drawn to the nectar in flowers. The Third Kriya was the technique with movements of the head that I received from my Kriya school. Mo. Na. He moved far and wide all over India unceasingly repeating the Mantra: Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram Om.practice: you begin to concentrate on each Chakra and forget yourself. In a few days. while doing it. Third Kriya (12) and Kriya Pranayama with the Mantra Om.. hovering upon each in great delight . This was my basic understanding in those days. Na. The sound of that Mantra. My awareness paused on each Chakra about 10 seconds .happened spontaneously.at least for 100 repetitions. after an intense practice of Japa.it had the purpose of preparing the Pratyahara phase.. I would have realized that Dhyana is not only self-oblivion but achieving the breathless state as well. Even though the oriental traditions recommend to do Japa mentally. an irresistible impulse to put everything in order. I started to practice Japa aloud during a walk for 108 times and then to continue it mentally during the remaining part of that walk.
Some thoughts can be visualized. My mind settled down. deprived of any intelligence or passion. The more I relaxed. almost banal autobiography. was worth a thousand times more than this useless information. while relaxing with the mental Pranayama (placing my awareness in each Chakra for 10-20 seconds each). it should not be seen by others. Ramdas' simple. beyond imagination! I was not breathing and I didn't feel any necessity to. situated above the whole world..) Before starting my Kriya practice. Some authors produced eloquent examples of how it is possible to write about nothing. but a diffuse persistent background noise nullifies all our efforts.The Breathless State I practiced Japa every morning and Kriya at noon in the open countryside. The Sumeru bead should never be passed: if you do the mala twice. at the same time. which in the meantime had become very short. All was incredibly beautiful. I plunged with enthusiasm into Japa literature and studied the subject of Mantra and prayer in different mystical paths. identified and blocked. could bring such a valuable result! I verified a perfect association between the practice of Japa and the attainment of the breathless state. The breath. I was perfectly at ease. like a pendulum gently reaching the equilibrium point. one of the simplest techniques in the world. contemplating a celestial state of bliss. during my Kriya session.always during mental Pranayama. I was astonished that Japa. One day. I felt I had reached something solid. eventually reached immobility. In the following days the same event happened again -. it produced a miracle! Japa annihilates the frustrating mental background noise that blocks any attempt at concentration during Kriya. I distinctly perceived a fresh energy sustaining my body from inside. While crossing innumerable psychological swamps. the more I became simultaneously aware both of the Chakras and of the body as a whole. This condition lasted a few minutes without any feeling of uneasiness: there was neither the least quiver of surprise. Where my best intentions failed. I looked at the surrounding panorama wondering if I would experience the state once again. after my daily number of Kriya breaths (never exceeded 36 repetitions.. you should turn it and make the last bead become the first bead of the second round. This can be conquered when we practice Japa -. It was so beautiful that it seemed quite impossible that I had mastered it.. I realized my cells were breathing pure energy which didn't originated from the inhaled air.the mala for Japa should be made or this or that material. Many suggestions about Japa practice amounted to a heap of banalities -.at least one hour before a Kriya session. still. I was implacably crushed by the beauty of nature and. compared to the present state. or the thought: "Finally I have it!" The event was enjoyable beyond words: in a blue-painted profundity. My past experiences during Kriya practice. seemed to have the consistency of luminous reflexes upon the water. I obstinately clung to the belief that my Mantra was the only tool capable of extracting "something perfect
hysteria.P. he said it comes with time. it creates a "psycho-physical blow". I discovered unthinkable ways of perfecting my mental Pranayama. settling down after fair number of breaths. I was positively excited to read that Pranayama should be considered inaccurate and wrong if. wait for Kechari. I could also talk about how to build a good routine. I found a book written by an Indian Swami.by repeating mechanically. This clarification inspired my practice.Y. happened. underlined elegantly by me. without being involved in the images arising from the words. While projecting in each Chakra the mental chant of the Mantra. During a trip to Vienna (Austria). all day long. especially by insisting in touching the uvula with the tip of the tongue. It would have sufficed to consider the search concluded. I could also inquire about a sentence by P. and paradise would have been opened to me. At that point Japa began to go on effortlessly. it was the most real thing I had ever experienced! I couldn’t imagine losing it. confusion would have ended forever. with the purpose of tearing asunder once and forever the concrete of the mental restlessness. won't let me sleep. That sentence. What I had hoped for so ardently in the past materialized easily. So powerful was this experience I could not forget it and yearned to have it every day of my life. All chaos. Only when talking to others I was unaware of it -." The Brother reassured me about its meaning: no other hypothetical technique. had been subtracted to me and to all us
. Then. my Mantra like a parrot. was hinted at. I realized I had the power to touch with an almost physically intensity the core of each one.Y. We were perfectly attuned about everything. while inhaling or exhaling. something wonderful and sweet.'s was mentioned as a slightly modified version of it.without closing his ears had not heard the internal sound of Om. All my doubts were clarified: the person was intelligent and not dogmatic. besides what was fully described in the written material. It referred to the use of a Mantra coupled with breath. He explained that if a syllable is mentally chanted in a Chakra's location with real intensity. the practitioner .Y. It left dangerously guess that an unimaginably deep and rich technique of spiritual realization. return to the simplicity of the afore described routine. was I doing the most mind-numbing activity in the word? On the contrary! That was just the right moment to turn a Mantra into a pneumatic hammer. The breathless state sprang from this internal action. claiming he was teaching the original Lahiri Mahasaya's Kriya . The magic of this bright.'s organization.at that moment. dazzling Prayer spread in each facet of my life. I had a private talk with another Minister of P. Now and then. I tried to remain centered on the feeling of unchangeable calmness. It was like walking out of a dark stuffy room into sunlight and fresh air. and we even extolled the value of Japa. a delusion arouse from my subconscious -. About Kechari Mudra. Unfortunately something happened that created a total chaos within me. according to which: "The Chakras can be awakened by psycho-physical blows given at their different locations. This tireless dedication created a moral strength which turned into a calm euphoria.and sublime" from my life.
I dreamed of receiving the original Kriya Pranayama. tormented by my suspicion that P. While reading and rereading his book.. taught a simplified form of Kriya.Y. The world of the "traveling Gurus" with all their hysterical claims and innumerable contradictions took the place of what I had patiently built.
. Devoured by the demon of finding the original Kriya.westerners. Two decades had to pass by before the celestial condition describe in this chapter would materialize again in my life. in order to meet the exigences of his westerner disciples. I was excited like a child receiving a beautiful gift. I had opened a door that couldn't be closed so easily. Since then a mad search began: the door I had opened could not be closed.
written by the Indian Swami (S. a "contact" to be preserved with the utmost care during the day.Y. Since from my Kriya school I had learned to practice Kriya Pranayama with open or half closed mouth. First Teacher outside the Organization Before undergoing surgery in the United States. Omkar became the unique focus of my concentration. I had only read his book: it was the intensity of my practice that was extreme! I had a clear perception that a state of inconceivable sweetness was mine -. like innumerable others I later read. I had no idea of when and where I would have the opportunity to meet this teacher. free from work. The inner sound appeared after just four days of painstaking practice. Recalling a phrase escaped from the lips of the lady meditation counselor about a variation of Kriya Pranayama taught to some disciples by P. He had a majestic and noble aspect. I convinced myself that the key technical addition consisted in mentally chanting Om in the Chakras while exerting all the possible attention to the internal sounds. the author of the book was stopping over in Europe. he was "handsomely" wrapped in his ocher clothes. That moment came at last! His introductory conference was for me of great emotional impact. this I did. The strange part was I hadn’t even met the teacher yet. Like a thread passing
. his old age. During these pleasing breaths I went on listening inwardly. hidden by the front rows.CHAPTER 4 TRAVELING GURUS
The book I found abroad. was only bait to create interest in the Kriya school founded by that Swami and never included practical explanations. and long hair and beard marked the features of the typical sage. during the practice and in every moment when I rested. it was surely from a very deep practice of Pranayama. I talked about Lahiri Mahasaya's legacy according to his personal experience.H. I worked very hard to meet him and receive his Kriya initiation on that occasion.). It greatly stimulated my interest in the principle underlying the promised deepening of the Kriya Pranayama technique. I lived for some days in the sweetest reality. I caught glimpses of him while he spoke. The statement about listening to the internal sound of Om without closing the ears during the practice of Pranayama was worthy to be taken into consideration. With the hope of restoring that very period of my life where I received the deepest satisfaction from the "Om technique" (received from my school) I gave my soul to that practice. I can't remember how many breaths I practiced each day but surely never more than 48-60. The theoretical concepts he introduced were absolutely new for me and created a beautiful consistent frame for a Kriya praxis conceived as a unique progressive process of tuning with the Omkar reality. but I had the sensation that its author knew the whole process of Kriya Yoga far better than many other teachers..I could taste it every day.
He was leading the auditorium into a wondrous dimension. there was no mystery about the many technical details of Kriya Yoga he kept on changing.through all the pearls of a necklace. To all those kriyabans that go on wondering about the origin of certain variations of Kriya. similar to a voltaic arc. I counsel to study the movement Radhasoami. he gave Light and Sound initiation. would happen between the two "poles" and shed light in that area. purely mental process. The same theory is hinted in some particular Radhasoami literature. In his book. trying to transmit this quivering to their body. at certain moments. 13 His stupendous. over the course of the years. to which center does the energy rise in the spine?" To make the students understand the proper aspect of the movement of Omkar. just as Radhasoami groups do. had simplified the original technique. I didn't succeed in practicing even one Kriya session
As a matter of fact. Kriya was divided into six levels which were six progressive steps of tuning into the Omkar dimension as Sound. Maha Mudra was not separated from his peculiar form of Pranayama which was not separated from mental Pranayama. the inquisitiveness in learning the new technical details made me unable to give due attention to what he was saying. The initiation into the First Kriya thrilled and disappointed me at the same time: the forward bendings that preceded the Maha Mudra were really precious and so was the final meditation (improperly called Paravastha) but the Kriya Pranayama seemed to have disappeared and reduced to a short. One of his intimate disciples confirmed to me that in the past the Swami had taught Kriya Pranayama proper enriched by chanting Om in each Chakra. Among the people who attended his seminars for a long time. In the frontal part of this region there is the pituitary gland (hypophysis). The climax of this work was to bring energy and awareness into the pineal gland. the Omkar reality had to be perceived not only in the aspect of sound and light but also in the aspect of a "swinging sensation" (another time he spoke about a feeling of pressure). he gave himself completely to us so we could feel the flavor of that experience. I therefore did not grasp at once all the implication of those concepts. This process was described as a "mystic union". He explained that the erasure of the last trace of our ego would take place in the hollow cavity of the brain called "the cave of Brahma".
. An emission of light. These progressive steps happened by becoming aware of some additional Chakras in the brain. He didn't teach Kriya Pranayama proper (with long and deep inhalation and exhalation) anymore. without even being fully aware of this. Furthermore. It is reasonable to believe that some disciples of Lahiri Mahasaya belonged to a Radhasoami group and perhaps. Returning home. he touched some of them (their head and chest) making his hand vibrate. year after year. added to Kriya some elements of theory and practice which belonged to this movement. Omkar was coursing through all the different phases of Kriya. Unfortunately that Swami too. behind it there is the pineal gland. appealing words were for me a revelation but. Light and Swinging sensation. My obsession was: "What kind of throat sound is to be produced in this original Kriya.
the small village. What he said made definite sense. everything seemed surrounded by a 'padded coating'. he expressed himself adamantly: the request of being initiated in them implied a lack of engagement in the basic techniques. As for receiving the complete form of it or other advanced techniques. as if my Kriya path had come to its fulfillment. visualizing the possibility of a future deepening. linking each breath with a different Chakra. through insatiable curiosity and the total rejection of any veto. He had tried all Lahiri Mahasaya's techniques. started to take real shape. I was in a room from which I could see the distant mountains through a window pane. I experienced a total contentment and ease. The best thing was to remain aware of the breath (a calm short breath. Everything was as if transfigured. This Swami taught also a simplified form of Second Kriya. While I was lazily getting about. I also spent some days in a beautiful location equipped for winter sport. I decided in fact to add to my routine (after Maha Mudra and before his form of Pranayama) "my" Kriya Pranayama with a long breath. almost imperceptible and on the verge of disappearing). For the first time. but also basic techniques such as
. I spent every morning wrapped in the warmth of my home. which I learned months later.could result in a useless distraction for the students and a waste of time for him as a teacher. One day while still at work. The winter vacation ended and I returned to my job. maintaining this state for the rest of my days.every pain took flight. Here I could wander aimlessly around the snow-white countryside. wholly dedicated to Kriya Yoga.exactly the way he explained. I had the opportunity to realize this. Since in his book it was written that to make remarkable spiritual progress. I would think about what a precious jewel the Kriya technique was. I was in ecstasy! That distant sky was the mirror of my future years. while others were rather too delicate and difficult to be learned. painting the landscape with breathtaking colors. sunk in the snow. Being aware that the original Kriya spirit had been lost in other schools. with such a commitment to the Higher Kriyas also. practicing as much as possible. His unfortunate decision to leave out some of the Lahiri Mahasaya’s techniques (not only parts of the Higher Kriyas. By day. concluding that some of them were not essential. the sun set early. He did not take into consideration how the human mind really works. My memory will always hold it as the splendid symbol of my contact with the Omkar experience. and contemplate the pure celestial sky above them. gone from my sight. During my spare time. Attempts made by inexperienced students . but contributed to his isolation. he focused only in passing on its nucleus.in order to effectively use these techniques . It was winter and I had a three week vacation. it was like living in a perfect reality and the whole world was smiling ecstatically at me . started to radiate all the colors of the spectrum of light. reducing all dissonances. the prospect of retiring and living on a minimal income. you should engage yourselves in at least 1728 breaths a day.
found themselves facing a wall that would never break. was not enough to prevent a shipwreck of his mission – at least here in Europe. I saw the sense of his isolation when. but the audience was not able to understand the deep meaning of what he was demonstrating. but they would never organize a seminar for their teacher. Moreover. He hinted in this way that he had mastered the breathless state. it seemed he wanted to point out that the public was neither able to understand nor practice Kriya. being willing to show the same respect to possible collaborators and successors. He really had all the necessary tools to attract the western world. which was "good only for kindergarten children"! He closed his nostrils with his fingers and kept that position for some time. but they did have the curiosity for 'other secrets' of Kriya. his Indian-sage figure impressed people. Yet the soil he plowed and was cultivating began to become sterile. one day. Frankly speaking. invited another teacher from India because they knew he was well-disposed to explain Kriya in its complete form. Those who already had a good mastering of Kriya had the final confirmation that what he had taught up to that moment was a simple introduction to Kriya and did not provide the key to obtain the experiential acme. he must have seemed bizarre and peculiar to them. Disappointed by their defection. Devoured by the thirst for obtaining the complete teachings. on a Kriya review lesson. The book he had written had been a smart strategic action which made him popular in the West. Many acknowledged this as a nasty comment to the fact that he was giving his explanations only out of kindness. The students staring at him were completely at a loss. who formerly organized his seminars. he stubbornly focused even more on the essence of teaching and further simplifying of the First Kriya techniques. he told his public that the real Kriya Pranayama could only take place in a state of calm breath -. Perhaps he had only met people who had not been able to adopt the discipline of a regular meditation practice and therefore did not gain any benefit.Kechari Mudra and Navi Kriya) triggered an inexorable mechanism which pushed away the people most indispensable to him. The result was that the beginners could only sense too large a distance to be bridged between them and the Master. This invitation was perhaps made more out of desperation than of conviction because those who had already met him in India knew his
.contrary to the one marked by a long deep breath (which many knew was the characteristic of Lahiri Mahasaya's legacy). they began to search for other teachers. many of those people. Those who tried to get this absurdity across to him and prevent it. saving for him a place of crucial importance in the domain of Kriya. It is true that a lot of people were content with his Kriya. the faithfulness of the many was not enough to avoid the worst. Using the same fliers and changing only the Master's name and photo. making this practice by far more beautiful. I thought how many disappointments must have convinced him to make such a peculiar demonstration. Hundreds of scholars were ready to back his mission and treat him as a "divinity". His commendable effort. all the marvelous subtleties by which he had enriched our Kriya.
I didn't notice that in the book there was no mention of techniques like Talabya Kriya. Before receiving instruction from this school. Changing every day the technique of meditation (there were seven different techniques. Second Teacher outside the Organization While waiting for this Kriya Acharya. Kriya Mantra Yoga rotated around that breathing technique. it took two years before he finally landed in Europe. was pure delight. Kriya Hatha Yoga. I found a strange book on Babaji's Kriya Yoga and came in contact with a Kriya school totally separate from all the others.H. extending its sphere of action on all the aspects of human life. if you showed enough commitment. Chakras etc.. which is fundamental for Lahiri.. This subject was more congenial to me than Dhyana Kriya. Because of visa problems.'s teaching.. Omkar Pranayama. I was confident. Practicing seriously this new routine. how to see aura. there grew within me a marked nostalgia for what I had relinquished. Vam. This school offered three levels of Kriya easy to obtain in about three years. Unfortunately. mixing what I had learned from P. The Bija Mantras of the Chakras were similar but not exactly identical to the classic ones: Lam. yet left me a bit perplexed. The idea of having found a source. Kriya Kundalini Pranayama seemed a beautiful technique. the process you had put in motion had to be suddenly relinquished and you had to practice Dhyana Kriya. Ram. was considered dangerous and thus banned. Kriya Dhyana Yoga. He gave his wife the role of pontificating about many topics (macrobiotics. Thokar. The most annoying thing was that once you had completed 16 Kriya breaths. excited me tremendously. The first level didn't actually disappoint me. Navi Kriya. during a trip to France.. a meditation which had nothing to do with spine. Although some illustrations in the book gave me the impression of reading a fairytale book. It was founded by an Indian personage who claimed he was a direct disciple of Babaji. we had to repeat the course two or three times in order to receive the complete set of the Chakra Mantras.spiritual realization was almost non-existent. The teacher was obsessed by the precept of not holding one's breath: in this way the technique of Yoni Mudra. In this school the main technique was called Kriya Kundalini Pranayama.Y. The odd thing was that the teacher gave the impression of being lost in the New Age dimension and didn't realize of how badly his teaching was organized.'s organization with S. He made a
. how to make Ayurveda diagnosis and other amenities). The central point of the Second Level was initiation into Mantras. Kechari Mudra. one for each different day of the week) I had the heavy sensation of obtaining nothing substantial. I had conceived a very sweet routine.. when he arrived practically all the afore described teacher's disciples were ready to welcome him as their God-sent messenger. from which I could learn everything about Kriya. whose final part (concentration on the Chakras).
At first. For many of us who had yearlong experience with the preliminary-to-Kriya techniques offered by P. He believed that Lahiri Mahasaya had not practiced with total commitment all the teachings he received from Babaji.the way an explorer deals
Actually more idiotic than Hong So technique since. while Hong So is a universal Mantra whose syllables were specifically chosen for their power of calming the breath. died. to those who would host me whenever a seminar was held in a distant city . beyond the worse expectations..Y. The last technique was a variation of the same Om technique I received from my Kriya organization. above all. our teacher was dismissive of him. given at the conclusion of that enervating and boring course.fool of himself by explaining the technique of "dispersing the clouds": fixing a cloud in the sky with the purpose of dissolving it! I endured everything since I had put all my hope in the third level. in his opinion. and I dreamed to live like them forever. therefore he . he was reticent and did not seem glad of our interest. characterized by specific sensations that they would cultivate with care and.for example. then he took courage and shared his views. But let me end talking about all this and get back to other considerations about my search. was actually a cold shower. For me it had much the nature of food. a way of behaving. were a new reading of Hong So technique 14 followed by three fairly common techniques of concentration and continuous awareness during the day. it was replaced by: "Om Babaji". In that period I was very happy: I fell in love with an Indian bhajan and I sang it within of me the whole blessed day. Bound to a very oriental lifestyle. Astounded. The Samadhi techniques. Swimming in my state of elation. I am reminded of this period of my life when I listen to the tape recordings of some devotional chants which I had bought at that time. Coming across different groups of people who practiced Kriya. should happen to those who give their all to applying Kriya integrally). with whom they have a vibratory connection. being retaught those techniques somehow disguised and passed off as Samadhi techniques. they particularly loved an atmosphere. had beautiful jobs. It was common Yoga.. Some of us dared to ask the teacher's opinion about Lahiri Mahasaya's Kriya. I had the feeling of meeting a vast family. we realized that since Lahiri Mahasaya had not obtained immortality (as. with innocent frenzies. I learned to relate to each of them .'s organization. I didn't understand anything of other people and it seemed to me they had a beautiful life. of a genre one could find in any book that probably explained it better. This third level was an atrocious delusion. rather I really had the impression of eating that music since after some days of singing I realized I had exhausted it and was looking for another song to plunge into as if it were the only one worthy of singing. 57
. Intermezzo: New-Age-Polluted Kriya Yoga The mentality developed following such a school led me to meet persons and groups where Kriya Yoga was polluted with "New-Age" themes.
as soon as the meeting was over. the same. the explanations were always quick and shallow. To many among us. beyond simple exhibitionism. He read and re-read through those texts several times trying to figure them out. it was something I just could not help.Y. waiting for any eccentric revelation. prophetic lines which had once been the source of so many uncertainties. I would finish every initiation thinking how satisfied I was and make up my mind to abandon all the previous practices for the one I had just received. I had different occasions to meet and to approach more intimately those who organized these meetings. With regard to Kriya proper. Some trifling episodes confirmed our first impression of instability. after attending many different rituals. had then become independent by their own choice or because the latter disowned them.with unknown animals. even of mental instability. Our relationship was based on real affection and it never came to disagreement. no matter if it cost them a great deal of time.. effort and money. Bringing flowers was recommended. We stocked up on techniques like food for a famine. Conflicts and polemics exploded whether some teacher who once had been some illustrious Guru's right-hand man. sometimes impolite. Although I felt that atmosphere to be extraneous to me. I accepted it as an inevitable drawback to succeed in acquiring the information I was searching with so much passion.usually a precise sum of money was set. in one case. They gave the impression of being honest researchers and always guaranteed that no nonsense would ever slip out of their mouths. that it was confining me to a "cage" from which I would sooner or later feel an unbearable suffocation from which I would eventually have to break loose. At times I would react to their oddness ironically. I received various initiations by different teachers. Later on. would take part in other initiations and would reciprocate the favor. bitterness or formality. improvisation and. They knew little about Kriya Yoga and they taught it in an even more
. Every one devotionally took this pledge and. in turn. it came out so spontaneously. I felt that those researchers were my real family. they shared. those initiations were a true vice. Just to give an example. the coveted news with other students who. We agreed our teachers were mostly mediocre. This habit created some conflicts in us. quoted by heart some lines from a work by P. by cell-phone. Never did they try to force something into my mind. This was strongly in contrast with the personality expected of those who called themselves "spiritual guides". I learned to listen to them respectfully and silently whenever they would correct some of my fancy interpretations of Kriya Yoga. They were always generous toward me and respectful of my personality. passionately sharing everything they had learned. and unethical. Generally speaking. I was surprised when one of them. a destructive criticism was often raised against information coming from other sources. at almost all initiation seminars a solemn pledge of secrecy was the password to be accepted. he really strained in studying those texts. some fruit and a donation was required too -. I ignored the awareness that the new initiation had only added something insignificant to that which I already knew.
How was it possible that we kept enduring these situations? The fact that they claimed they were authorized to initiate. many focused their attention only on secondary aspects of the mystical path and had lost sight of their goal. decorations. shared. Inside the group associated with P. To clean away their internal conflicts. From a legal point of view. and it seemed they practiced the few techniques they knew as if making a sacrifice to atone for the "guilt" of existence. filled with multicolored posters and cushions. Stressing the cathartic potential of oriental meditative practices. which in 20 minutes a day would result in the regeneration of their DNA. we treated them with a deferential and tolerant attitude forgiving them when they abused our trust and confidence. crystal therapy.with a pendulum in his hand -. in accordance with the situation. experiences they had never told anyone before. overcoming inner resistances. but with the new era. the alternative physician who -. I was struck by the tendency to spend lots of money on training workshops focused on strange therapeutic methods like aromatherapy. I met people whose enthusiasm toward Kriya was very moderate. I met a lot of people who were yet "too passionate" for Kriya and anything which had to do with personal development. color therapy… These harmless distractions aroused great enthusiasm. In their meditation room. man had evolved and should employ faster tools. they formed work groups and. They worked for some time. Even if we were not able to find even one who would prove to possess that mastery of Kriya which is so crucial in such a delicate pedagogic work as they were attempting to do. They were all right up to 50 years ago.'s school that supported the worst of our illusions. the spiritual teacher. group therapies directed by eccentric individuals devoid of academic formation. sometimes with acute suffering. were expensive distractions to be added to Kriya. Sitting on the ground in a circle. blinded us. they were satisfied by the beautiful atmosphere. one group of kriyabans was under the influence of a cunning fellow who. A few were ensnared by the claim that the classical meditative practices the sober methods adopted through the ages by the mystics of various religions were no longer valid for our time.Y. It is strange to think that it was this deep rooted suggestion received from P. this alternative psychotherapy had to be camouflaged as a cultural or religious activity.'s organization.superficial way. Research on alternative medicines. and were effectively seduced by the temptation of applying faster means. These group participants were keen on "expensive techniques" shared over the weekend. greater
. There existed no other reality to be sought. His methods gave great importance to revealing one's childhood traumas in group discussions. assumed the role of the psychotherapist. seemed to intensify their experience of Kriya.Y. from the slightest indispositions to the most serious illnesses. as well as to suggest remedies. We were subjugated by the myth that Kriya is to be received from an "authorized" teacher. afterwards they were forsaken. In this new ambiance.was able to diagnose everything. crystals and other objects.
a lady. "We are expected to answer in a positive way. it was like I had been hypnotized. It had never entered my mind this dangerous and potentially destructive mania to explore unceasingly the mysteries inherent in the "human potential". As for me. what appears as a long journey will become like a stroll". final liberation etc. This process.meanwhile.otherwise we could have … to die and be born again just to live those experiences that we are now shunning!" "The Kriya technique -. A couple met a boaster who assured them he
. At the same time. the guest was standing neglected on the doormat… I realized also -. endlessly polishing and decorating it.losing some essential attainments like the breathless state. delighted by entranced awareness of the different comforts their house allows .expansion of consciousness than could ever be achieved via other means. their disappointment in all the things they had not been able to learn emerged. unfortunately some strayed further away from Kriya up to the point of losing it entirely. if this energy is recharged by the flow of the Universal Energy. I had forgotten everything. There were others who tried to find. Third Teacher outside the Organization Some friends.. Now.that this process of removing the internal blocks could help improve the energy flow inside the body during Kriya... through hypnotic regression. their past lives in order to revive and then understand the deeper traumas. I began to realize I was going adrift -. in no small part because the seminars were not given nearby but abroad.. They would comment: "It is our Karma that is giving us the best of all the opportunities to grow in all the planes". When I dared to call into question the validity of the whole thing.she added -. listening to the Om sound. in turn. coming back from India. This colossal waste of time had been like preparing one's house for a distinguished guest. after having repeatedly rung the bell. All this cost a lot. We don't have to stay jammed against this beneficial current -.and perhaps this is the most important -. in expensive residences. The idea to keep this virtuous circle in motion fascinated them without limit.. showed their excitement for such an extraordinary land. It seemed – the idea did not appear so bad . becoming more intense could give decisive help in the most delicate phases in the process of full-body cleaning. feeling annoyed. rebuked me that there was no reason to be perplexed about practices without having tried them..that my criterion to judge the excellence of a new technique of meditation (or of some confuse mix of new age cathartic methods of self healing) by a vague sense of well-being perceived during the practice itself meant my ego was the compass needle of my spiritual journey. Some were lured to invest in expensive seminars where their energy channels would be opened and they would learn the secret of how to make use of the Universal Energy.is practiced with the energy present in the body.
In the end. Something different happened to a friend who met a descendant of Lahiri Mahasaya. began the discussion with trivialities like asking some information on Indian habits. I kept enough control not to interrupt or challenge him. he acquired a large volume summarizing the techniques. Each technique was preceded by a theoretic introduction with quotations from ancient books and an illustration which
. I was taken aback when he told me that in Benares. a serious disease killed him.donation -. nothing on Thokar either. I had this technique explained to me as well. In this manner. visibly content. you surely must be the only one still practicing it!" At the end of his explanation. but my friend was not able to learn anything from him. a man with a great academic background and with a deep knowledge of Kriya. This was one of the master's nephews. In spite of our huge character difference. then by posing him apparently incidental questions. I tried to understand what had happened. my friend was looking at me surprisingly. His demeanor must have frozen the eminent listener. In my opinion. A certain blow came for him one month later: he came to know that a man from the same town had recently been initiated into Kriya Yoga from the very personage he had met in Benares. it is not practiced any longer. I can remember a very complicated technique based on the visualization of the Chakras like they are described in Tantric texts. The leader of the Ashram was away. in other places. I dare say it is not practiced throughout the whole Indian peninsula. My friend. there was nothing in that book that could remove all my doubts. At the end of his trip. he did not realize how foolish his discussion had been with that noble person.knew Kriya Yoga and could initiate them as long as they had kept it a total secret without establishing any contact with other teachers. and my friend received the initiation from one of his disciples. because his answer resulted in a sarcastically sour. However. it was nothing more than the mere repetition of a Mantra! What made me feel sorry was not so much the great advantage gained by those braggers (the Gurudakshina -. Kriya Yoga was not practiced any longer.. He was so irritated he planned to go back to India to raise a protest to that Kriya Acharya. an Ashram's address where he planned to go. the techniques did not differ that much from those I already knew. in other words: "Definitely not. as he usually did. the boaster could ensure they would not realize it was not Kriya Yoga they were being taught. I will always be grateful for all the things he shared with me concerning his spiritual path. but there were many more details.. I am still not sure whether he was hoping to convince me or whether he was just absorbed in bitter frustration. negative response. Unfortunately. he did not have that chance. Rather.they received meant a real fortune at my friends' expense) as for our friends missing the opportunity of learning Kriya from other sources. overcoming their inner opposition. he showed me the book. I could realize this only when. I did not pry. then almost at the end of the interview – he must have suddenly remembered he was in Lahiri Mahasaya's house – he asked if any of the disciples of Lahiri were still practicing Kriya. and probably throughout rest of India. On the contrary. Another friend remained for some days at an Ashram in the hope he might receive initiation into Kriya Yoga. not a single hint about how to obtain Kechari Mudra.
eliminated any possible doubt. I could have closed the circle. I met him in a Yoga center where he had been invited by some disciples.the one. but a journey beyond the mind.S. since those notes contained what I was asking for. he then made an accurate selection from them to form a coherent system which constituted his system of Kriya. I did not even dream about putting other principles in place as a foundation for my spiritual path. It was impudent to think that Thokar could be considered no more than a variation of the Jalandhara Bandha! If the instructions for Kechari Mudra were not there.as is the case with the majority of Indian masters. He clearly communicated to us the reason for his tour to the West was to reestablish the original teachings. The teacher. Based on certain answers to other’s questions. it probably just meant that … Kechari was not really so important! With a bit of good will and application. The magical realm of Omkar. could be neither left aside nor forgotten. When the moment came to meet the long awaited teacher from India . then. I realized he knew my former teacher and his choice not to teach the whole body of Kriya techniques. Lahiri Mahasaya's mythical Guru. there was a note guaranteeing that all the mentioned techniques constituted Kriya Yoga as taught by Babaji. to have a note saying that those teachings came directly from Babaji? Simple . never checked that material – he was taken aback later on. Of course. How was it possible. coming to know about those "supplementary notes".. This was enough to overcome my initial wariness. into which my previous teacher had immersed me in a passionate way. Chance made me listen to the recording of a conference of the author Swami S. they had the brilliant idea of making it more interesting by hinting that the techniques were derived from the mythical Babaji. Certain clues had already told me I would have to reckon with a radically new approach. " Babaji's Kriya had Tantric origins".
. I hoped was going to explain Kriya in its complete form . The synthesis of his introductory speech was that Kriya didn't mean to inflate the mind and the ego moving toward a hypothetical superior mind. He was hottempered. He exploded with rage whenever he sensed that underneath legitimate questions there was a veiled opposition or an intention to challenge his authority. I was afraid this could upset the simple and adequately profitable routine into which I had settled. This is why I approached my new teacher with the idea of rejecting him if. never mind. In the last part of the book a precise gradual routine was given. he had the book written by his disciples. I would have liked to yield to the illusion that my quest had finally ended.I was not in the best mood. He discussed how he had found those techniques in some tantric texts which he had translated. somehow. I indulgently observed some inadequacies in his behavior which shocked other students. Since that material was very interesting. reflecting another classic Indian habit. he appeared to dissuade me from such a reality. into an uncontaminated territory. He then tried to defend his disciples' work stating that after all …. I simply had to convince myself that Babaji had but made a synthesis of Tantrism to obtain His Kriya Yoga. During the following initiation seminar.
For some days I experienced a feeling of "dizziness" and my mental faculties seemed to be fogged up. unusually synthetic. if I met somebody and stopped to listen to him. Why didn’t Kriya organizations teach such a simple technique like Talabya Kriya. Kechari Mudra After three months of Talabya Kriya. Navi Kriya and Internal Alchemy While trying to explore the meaning of Navi Kriya I discovered the importance of studying the Taoist Internal Alchemy. Two to One". Looking at the distant mountains or at other details of the landscape. These energies are blended. preferring to endure endless polemics and speculations that continue up to our present day? I wrote my reasons to the organization and left it forever. put them in order and glued them on four sheets of paper highlighting the four phases of Taoist Internal Alchemy. only this could hide it. mixed together. This procedure is very similar to Kriya Pranayama. a sudden joy would expand in my chest and rise to my eyes to the point that I could barely hold back my tears. I had some discomfort owing to an increase in salivation and a sense of irritation. in part. Then all this ceased and my Kriya flew high. My first reference book was: Taoist Yoga: Alchemy and Immortality by Charles Luk & Lu Kuan. When I went out for a walk. its tip remain "trapped" in the nasal pharynx. no matter what he said. They were originated by a fracture. The similarity with Kriya Yoga was impressive. The best thing was to witness an increase of the Omkar experience. a split at one's birth. his instructions on Pranayama -.But I focused all my attention on learning his form of Kriya and ignored his patent faults. For instance. The purpose of this action is "to bring Three to Two.formally correct -. The first stage is the basis of the whole process. I achieved Kechari. Various metaphors used to
. Let us see what this means. The first aim of activating the Microcosmic Orbit is to create harmony among them and thus exert a permanent healing action upon the personality. using my fingers to push the base of the tongue inward. Awareness and energy (Qi) are raised during inhalation along the Governor channel at the back of the spine and let flow down along the Functional channel during exhalation. It consists in activating the Microcosmic Orbit. Qi (love energy) and Shen (spiritual energy). The three are Jing (sexual energy). only this could keep back the joy clutching my being. My attention was considerably stirred up. I would try to direct my feeling toward them in order to turn my paralyzing joy into aesthetic rapture. The technical explanation was reasonably clear but. cut out the most important pieces. One day. I was overjoyed because I felt I had finally found the First Kriya complete set of techniques. I photocopied many pages.could be understood only by those who had already been practicing Kriya Yoga for a long time.
which we have received from different Indian sources. Shen (spiritual energy) vibrates during the highest peaks of aesthetic contemplation. I studied every title I could find on the subject (Taoism included). We know that this point is the main cause of nerve-wracking conflicts in spiritually minded people.. In the third stage. It is not a weird idea that the mythical Babaji was/is one of the "immortals" of the Taoist tradition. the
. I could understand more clearly the working of some Kriya techniques. It is the fuel of fair-minded actions born out of inner.. Kriya Yoga is a discipline that can be described through the symbols of two different cultures.. and that which gives us the strength and the determination to fight the battle of life and to achieve all the things we need (unfortunately. with surprising similarity.) bring back to our mind. flute with no holes. the second is that the Macrocosmic Orbit embodies the perfection of the main technique of Kriya Yoga: Kriya Pranayama. Breath after breath.and sexuality is repressed as unholy.!). behind the navel. From the Dantian it ascends spontaneously into the heart region. There were two key ideas that excited my interest in particular: the first is that the sexual energy is the fuel of spiritual energy. (the Macrocosmic Orbit) happens. The description of this stage exemplify clearly the principle of Navi Kriya. My enthusiastic response derived from the intuition that Kriya Yoga and Taoist Internal Alchemy shared a common foundation and by studying the latter. Jing (sexual energy) is not only what this name implies but also the agent that makes us rejoice in the sensory perceptions. In the fourth stage the energy reaches the region between the eyebrows and a spontaneous phenomenon of circulation of energy in the body. in the front of the spine. in the lower abdomen. where the vast prophetic visions may manifest. The idea comes that Kriya Yoga is the Taoist Internal Alchemy. Qi (love energy) is a deep feeling toward another person. From this we can infer that the main procedure of Kriya Yoga (Kriya Pranayama) creates harmony among these three basic energies. the division between matter and spirit . taught within an Indian context.explain its mechanism (bagpipe turned upside-down. This channel runs like a tube from the perineum to the Fontanelle through the center of the body. another reason we fight is to achieve superfluous things but this is another problem. life in general and also the joy felt beholding a work of art. The sexual energy turns into pure love and this in spiritual aspiration: this event implies a permanent healing action upon all one's personality. living creatures. their division originated at our birth and reinforced by education and social living. some weird explanation about Kriya Pranayama and Kriya in general -. It has been explained that these energies derive from one unique realty.. Many religious paths teach to maintain. rather to cultivate as a virtue. In the second stage the energy stored in the head is conveyed into the Dantian. Prana is increased in the thrusting channel. noble instincts and ethical laws.
We can also understand why some kriyabans. on the flow of Prana in the body (it is very beneficial to visualize it passing through the tip of the tongue into the throat and into the body. The problem is tied with the fact that the energy raised up and lifted into the head from the first three Chakras in the spine. either proper or a simplified form of it. This happens in a state called "prenatal breathing" which is a movement of internal energy that gives perceptions similar to those obtained through the Microcosmic Orbit but is now experienced in the breathless state (Kevala Kumbhaka). when the three energies (sexual. unimpeded toward Spirit. each part of the body. should freely flow down into the body passing through the tongue. in the Taoist Internal Alchemy one utilizes that state to reach the body. Patanjali (Sutra III/29) simply states: "nābhicakre kāyavyūhajñānamḥ" which is translated: "by concentration on the navel. it is then raised into the head where it mixes with the energy of the Spirit.develop sexual thoughts and become sexually aroused during the initial deep breaths of their Kriya Pranayama. I saw that this Sutra had nothing to do with Navi Kriya's aim. they create the elixir of immortality. although Kriya Yoga has many parallels with the Taoist Internal Alchemy. passionate talks with people who had studied and followed that path for decades. In my own small way. a path of
. . the seeker obtains knowledge about the different organs of the body and their location". He noticed that. It was of great help to read some articles and essays by Michael Winn. This great energy of love will gradually turn into pure aspiration for the spiritual goal. Those who assume Kechari Mudra. he reacted annoyed claiming that Navi Kriya was pure Yoga and was quoted by Patanjali too. love and spiritual) are mixed harmoniously. It trickles down into the body and feeds every cell. and concentrate. Any split in our personality will disappear: our many-sided life begins to flow naturally. The spiritual path does not end with a flight out of the body toward the rarefied dimensions of the Spirit. The energy of love acquires strength. The Macrocosmic Orbit discloses undreamed of sceneries. the determination not to succumb to any obstacle. He observed that while through Kundalini Yoga one is trying to climb up to the crown of their head to experience divine ecstasy. it is substantially a "fire" path. A procedure like Kriya Pranayama can cooperate to set one person free from all bondages. nurture and transform it. as a beatific. during exhalation. I had long. As for the Macrocosmic Orbit. This researcher studied Kundalini Yoga in the late 70's and Kriya Yoga afterwards with a renowned teacher. It appears as an experience of perfect Beauty.sexual thoughts (which seem to be reinforced) will turn into love thoughts.especially if they don't practice Kechari Mudra . This refined experience makes the spiritual path complete: the Divine is infused into our body. When I had enough confidence to relate my discovery to my third teacher. healing rain restoring life in each cell) will immediately experience how sexual thoughts disappear and become pure love.
not sincere and not sufficiently thought over.. He took the binding appointment of teaching only from direct personal experience. oral or written teachings may become traps: only the living experience promotes the true self-inquiry which leads to Self realization. But any energy movement upward has to be balanced by a movement downward. One should take the teachings received by the tradition into consideration. he has evolved toward simplicity -. to break any dependence toward my third teacher. We just imitate them". try them with a lot of respect and take also the courage to solve the problems that might arise alone.he is confident that somebody will take his refinements and improve on them. The first line I read was: ". I put my heart and my soul into a systematic study of them.. No human being should be denied the opportunity of achieving true spiritual independence! The Teaching of Krishnamurti Since the works of Sri Krishnamurti (Krishnaji for those who loved him) were the source from which my third teacher drew his discourses about the damages caused by the vices of the human mind.] You have to walk by yourself. He reports that."ascent". The author maintains that these are pretexts. One who wants to follow the spiritual path could avoid a wide range of problems by listening to the practical wisdom it embodies.. the doorway to reach the prenatal state of blissful breathlessness. with infinite possibilities of self-deception. Actually. Many mistakes had to be conceived." How true! The odd thing was that Krishnaji's thought contained the crucial and conclusive boost that would assist me. I was surprised to find in his writings that the annoying problem of secrecy concerns also the Taoist Internal Alchemy. Krishnamurti said what was then difficult to fully agree with: "What is the need of a Guru? [. it was claimed that secrecy was meant to protect the purity of the lineage and prevent corruption by selfish people who might abuse the spiritual power gained. until one settles in the still point of no movement. in the many years of his own practice. I felt undoubtedly they expressed a deep truth but my logic suggested peremptorily: "This is a sophism: even Krishnaji acted as a Guru and acts upon me just now through his writings".. In his opinion. thought is cunning. Michael Winn's noble definitive position is that if one feels spiritually attracted to some particular teaching and feels worthy to receive it." While I was reading these lines.. and on that journey you have to be your own teacher and pupil. then he has the right to learn it without groveling at anyone's feet.
. you have to take the journey alone. In our body that point is the Dan Tian. Michael Winn was wholly devoted to Taoist Internal Alchemy and Qigong (Chi Kung). a taoist said to him: "We don't know why the ancients kept it so secret. As usual.. no tradition respects the whole mystery of human nature as deeply as the Taoist Internal Alchemy. after many years of controversial but loyal discipleship. Could not actualize his words: fear held me back. According to him. carry out and digested.
thanks to one of Lahiri Mahasaya's nephews. But I had a compassionate heart suffering of losing my time with her. to return to simplicity. It was with my all heart that I gave her the right to swim in her mental swamps and estranged forever myself from her presence. How difficult it was! But it was not impossible. I was living my hectic search. It came out in Bengali (then in French and English). and impoverished me. In that period I read also Puran Purush by Ashoke Kumar Chatterjee.she wanted to teach me "to live with the heart".thus. avoiding those who seemed irremediably lost in it.in the "Beauty of my own making. the core of Kriya may be reached as fast as an arrow. by the many fantasies of the human mind." The more I read Krishnaji. partially unaware. The obsession for finding the techniques of the "Original Kriya" didn't emanate from a heightened form of spirituality but was no different to the desire for material things. a vice giving moments of pleasure but being the primary cause of much misery. Walking with this attitude became pure and constant Bliss! Beauty was always around me but I didn't noticed because I was lost in my mental constructions based on New Age fantasies. Although it does not seem to respect a logical order in the topics and contains an endless number of repetitions and rhetorical sentences. He hinted at something immense: a stream of truth that has no beginning and no end. How right was Krishnaji when he said: "life begins where thought ends. draining me of the flow of genuine aspiration toward the Divine. on pseudo spiritual literature which was actually trash. Actually. but without a single thought in my mind.The concept that entered my mind was that Kriya Yoga (Krishnaji referred in general to "meditation") leads to a territory that cannot be grasped by reasoning. A pranotherapeut got into the habit of coming unrequested into my life to rob me of my time and peace -." I needed to recreate silence around me. I was not able to see that Beauty for I was lost -. I saw it was time to put a definitive end to my relationship with the New Age world. the more I felt I had recently crossed a hell. I knew perfectly that unbridled thought was an addiction. I studied many books by this author but I was literally overcome by the beauty of The only revolution. For years she had criticized my rationality and excessive commitment to Kriya Yoga. Satya Charan Lahiri (1902-1978).as Krishnaji would say -. to find the time to contemplate Beauty again. Puran Purush is based on Lahiri Mahasaya's diaries. It was distracting. The effort to create mental silence brought me to the very beginning of my spiritual path when I decided to conquer the tendency to day-dream and jump from one memory to another during idle moments. it was with this poor attitude that. Undoubtedly she thought I was cold-hearted. At that time.
. I walked in the country looking at all things with my senses fully awake. I think that studying it can help more than any other books to understand Lahiri Mahasaya's personality -. It was to discipline myself that I considered studying the art of Pranayama and discovered Kriya Yoga. preventing myself from enjoying what I already had.
he is the supreme Brahma". Remarkable is the great importance he gave to Pranayama. he explained the meaning of the sacred texts. yet they were disappointed.is almost null.from an exegetic point of view . A lot of people studied that material with enthusiasm. he was the symbol of the perfection I yearned after. his figure. his eyebrows raised like in the Shambhavi Mudra.
I also read the commentaries on some sacred writings attributed to Lahiri Mahasaya. Furthermore. entranced. It consists in once a week. An Incremental Routine is a particular feature of Lahiri Mahasaya's Kriya. When we think of the Kriya practice we imagine the classic unvarying scheme which consists in a daily practice of the same set of techniques. many times. What he said on that occasion could have been taken as a specific comment to that text. I looked at the photograph of Lahiri Mahasaya on the front cover. it is possible to hypothesize that. One feels a thrill of delight by reading sentences which have light in themselves: "Kutastha is God. his disciple P. I dare not say they are adulterated but I think their value . In these commentaries. During those days. forgot completely the starting point and. after reading a part of it. was a sun in my heart.
Higher Kriyas and Incremental Routines It was in that period that I became familiar with the concept of Incremental Routine which I immediately considered heaven-sent. changing neither their order of practice nor the number of their repetitions. with that blissful smile. It seems to me almost impossible that they really came from Lahiri Mahasaya: I don't find the same practical wisdom and tremendous realization expressed in his diaries. I would raise my eyes to the distant mountain tops and repeat internally "At long last…!". They were later translated into English. for a certain number of weeks (20 – 24 – 36 …). We are not able to extract anything useful from them.who had access to the diaries. in order to publish those hard-to-understand notes. Helped by his main disciple Ashoke Kumar Chatterjee. talked extensively and freely about the subtleties of Kriya. putting the usual routine aside and using only one technique. Lahiri Mahasaya was transported from the force of his insight. Later. as they were written in Bengali. who knows what a state of bliss he was in while being photographed! I saw some horizontal lines on his forehead. whose number of repetitions is gradually increased up to a certain
. I find rather a mind with an almost maniacal tendency to interpret each thing in the light of Kriya. Thokar. According to my discernment. he decided to make a selection of the main thoughts which might be useful to those who practiced Kriya. a slight tension of his chin seemed to reveal he was practicing Kechari Mudra. and Yoni Mudra. During summer I had this book with me in the countryside. reading the verses of those texts. as if centuries before. the authors of those spiritual works knew exactly one by one all the Kriya techniques. the editor had them completed with parts of his own comprehension. hoping to find some useful information. Bhattacharya printed these interpretations. It shows his skill in communicating complicated abstract concepts when he affirms that the whole course of Kriya is a great adventure beginning with a dynamic Prana and ending with a static Prana. it is possible that. These books were little known for a long time. where awareness is set upon the head.
When in the late afternoon the practice neared the end. I created a short pause. I developed so much nervousness that I couldn't remain sitting. would warm me up. which I would carefully place into each Chakra. the way the sun warms up the land around.third part) was really a magic one: I would lie if I do not affirm that I have an endless nostalgia for those days. Yet I didn't abandon my project and went on increasing the length of my sessions.it was like a cascade of light! So unexpected was it! A part of my mind went on repeating: "A human being has never been granted so much joy!" All went on in the best of ways.limitlessly. I couldn't understand how I dwelt now in the most complete tranquility having practiced hundreds of such breaths. I was living a magnificent period. Meeting again and considering the actual situation we rejoiced together. I started this routine at the beginning of March on a near perfect day under a flawless blue sky. while once. if any.something that could not be but that way. One evening. definite. Many times I wondered what benefit. I had become acquainted with those kind friends during the seminars of my previous teacher S. or interrupting for a short pause the practice. If a certain variation of a Kriya technique was redundant or ineffective. appeared as something fixed. This procedure can be applied to each Kriya technique. the drowsiness changed into an extraordinary condition of relaxation. The Mantra's syllables. it has also a positive effect on one's personality. These routines soon revealed their great heuristic value.H. One day I had a visit from the couple that organized the master's tours in Germany. On the inner screen of my awareness was displaying a lot of images like dreamlike visions. Kriya Pranayama and to all the Higher Kriyas. The period in which I plunged head-first into the incremental routine of the technique he called Thokar (in the second part of the book. practicing Maha Mudra several times. often an invincible drowsiness overpowered all my best efforts. could be received from what seemed to be a voyage into the unconscious world of dreams. During the long sessions of the incremental routines of Navi Kriya and of Kriya Pranayama. in particular to Navi Kriya. From a certain moment onwards. After each syllable. I believe I had really overworked it by using too much this incomparable tool. This amplified the experience of joy . a sound of tolling bells came from a distant village . it is described as Fifth Kriya .. releasing it from many inner obstacles. What remained was just the simplest logical translation of Lahiri Mahasaya's words into practice. I was more keen on enjoying the vibration of each syllable. The essential core of each technique. where the crisp pure air invited me to practice outside in its beauty. inevitable . it would fall away by itself. especially by adopting Kechari Mudra. after 60 repetitions of Kriya Pranayama. This is the most remunerative Kriya practice because it leads to mastery (unimaginable with any other scheme of practice) of the techniques which are utilized for such procedure. deprived of any embellishment.amount that the tradition has handed down as optimal. No help came from changing the position of the legs. We underlined the necessity of making a particular proposal to our
. enough to perceive the sweet irradiation springing out from each center.
correspondingly. in my opinion. Since he usually arrived with great delay relative to the agreed time. In order not to disturb the peace of all the persons who were with me to receive initiation in the Higher Kriyas. but many students. just in time to catch the last train. had I not gone to welcome him back to Europe. despite it being late and people being tired. explained to me what happened behind the scenes. someone had already left the room. forcing the students to desperately look for it store after store) laid heaped up disorderly before a scruffy altar. it is necessary to refer again to the haste and shallowness with which he explained the Kriya techniques. which he improperly called Swadhyaya. keep on collaborating with him and to drop the theme of my letter. But I deliberately began to control myself and took the resolution not to give him any unsolicited advice in the future. Some months went by and probably my experience with that teacher would have ended that way.teacher: to organize. The introductory lecture to the Kriya (which was usually held the evening before initiation) and a big part of the seminar of initiation was devoted to a pure philosophical talk which didn't touch the bases of Kriya Yoga but was a summing up of Krishnamurti's strong points. just to stop his ravings. As a reply. Master's reaction was inexplicable. those who came from other cities saw all their plans for the return journey falling through and were very anxious. being uncomfortable sitting on the floor. He probably interpreted my presence as a move of repentance. an oath that no one would ever respect. a guided group practice which served as a review both for the new initiates and for those who were already practicing. who did not even inform me. The traditional offerings (he required also a coconut.) When his collaborator. I decided to pretend nothing happened. (Actually. The public listened to his vain words with a sigh of ill-concealed nuisance. taking all the necessary time to ask the audience to take a solemn vow: that. at the end of his future Kriya initiation seminars. My teacher's request in particular was impossible. he crossed me off his list of disciples. which in our place was very difficult to find. from now onwards. There was no part of it that could be criticized. enduring its length as a giant bummer. We exchanged hugs as if nothing had happened. 15
I respect of course Yama-Niyama (the what-is-correct and the what-is-not-correct) but. with a slight indecipherable hint of embarrassment. waited just for the explanation of the techniques. In order to explain the definitive crack in our relationship. I was appalled and disoriented. I occupied myself with making this proposal reach the teacher through a friend who went to India. Everyone gave an assent with a nod. he loved to linger on Patanjali's Yama and Niyama. all he said was correct. I gave him a letter to deliver to the teacher with my regards and a warm embrace. the male students would look at women (except their wife) as mothers and. mainly the theme of no-mind. he had interpreted my letter as an oblique criticism. When. women would look at men (except their husband) as fathers. His decision was transmitted to the Italian coordinator. requiring people who are anxious for learning Kriya Yoga techniques to take an oath to obey them is only a farce and a waste of time. 70
. with aching back and knees.
When one among the listeners asked him about the reason for the changes. One day. To put it simply. did not love Kriya. coming spontaneously to the socalled virtuous life. he would not bother to say the sound had to be smooth rather than vibrating.Only then he switched to a hurried explanation of the basic techniques. I had the impression I was cooperating with an archaeologist who was deliberately altering certain findings to justify them to the public in the theoretical framework to which he was accustomed. I found the courage to drop a hint about a technical issue. when we were alone and he was seeking something in a room. whose every small whim I tried to satisfy as if I carrying out a sacred deed. I vividly remember a dream in which I was swimming in manure. I felt that this man. There were moments in which. I decided to time him: the explanation of the fundamental technique of Pranayama was offered in no more than two minutes! He demonstrated Kriya Pranayama by means of an excessively loud vibratory sound. Even though I helped organize his tours so he could spread Kriya in his rushed. was the sole technical "discourse" I had with him in the course of my six years with him. superficial manner. He knew this sound was not correct. in spite of his close collaborators' polite complaints. He carried on that way for years. Although I spent weeks with him. This. 71
. in the past seminars. during another tour. It happened that from one year to another he demonstrated Thokar in a visibly different way. a kriyaban's life would be licentious? The necessity of accepting definite ways of behavior. Confronted with other minor changes from one year to the next. as Kriya teachers usually do. Often I repeated
Why not put confidence in the transforming power of Kriya? Why thinking that without oaths. I know that many of the students. In any case. he shouted that my practice was not his business. sparing himself the annoyance of getting up and walking among them. thinking of my meek beginning in the practice of Yoga. Months later. while a lot of conformists failed. believed this was the "secret" he had brought from India and tried to reproduce the same noise. is something that appears spontaneously after having tasted the honey of the spiritual experience. a problem of translation might have occurred. he used it only to create a more beautiful life for himself in the West compared to the wretched one in India he had often described to me. he argued he had not changed anything and that. it was not possible for us to discuss this technical detail together. Too many things were not going in the right direction. but he continued using it to so the last rows of students could hear it. Perhaps in the beginning the best thing is not to cry shame because of a problematic student's behavior. which set one Kriya school against another. Instead. according to what I'm able to remember. My subconscious was beginning to rebel. behind my mask of fake delight hid a dry agony. my heart felt an indefinite nostalgia for that period which was waiting for nothing but consistency and honesty on my side to rise again and blossom unimpeded. People remembered very well the head movements they had formerly seen: his lie was too evident. As for Higher Kriyas the situation was the same. it has been seen that people living a morally questionable life were successful in Kriya. He suddenly turned toward me with his eyes showing such a hate as if he was in the act of killing me.
My subconscious was ready for the cataclysm. There I met a very serious student who was already familiar with my teacher's behavior and was taking part in the initiation ceremony only as a revision. Observing in my teacher the most total lack of human understanding. He understood my predicament but was surprised that since I was authorized to teach Kriya. I had never had the chance to talk freely with my teacher about Kriya details! How could I give Kriya initiation using knowledge that did not originate from my teacher? It was logical and befitting for me to settle the matter as soon as possible. those who loved him would suffer. He was in Australia. A blank dark wall. I gave Kriya initiation following a fixed protocol by which he bid me to abide.these verses from a poem (Journey's End) by Sri Aurobindo like a Mantra:
Now the wasteland. One or two among the most tenacious students made up questions and called me just to have the illusion of carrying on. They doubted that Kriya worked as well as their decision to be initiated into it.I sensed I was doing virtually useless work. If the whole situation slipped out of my hands and. Knowing the irascible disposition of my teacher. The most probable situation was that my third teacher would become very angry and fly into a rage. and behind it heaven.
Turning Point For reasons I don't want to explore here. That was the point when he asked: "From whom have you learned all these details?" He well knew that my teacher was a total disaster from a didactic point of view. I went on behalf of my teacher to their group to teach them Kriya Yoga. as a result of our break. He perceived that I had learned many details from other sources. in fact. I hesitated a long time but there was no other way out. a relationship with a real person. Another year went by. they entered a deep crisis. he would stop coming to our group. by counseling a minimal routine. I switched to the explanation of the basic techniques. he eventually asked me to teach Kriya to those who were interested and who couldn't meet him on his tours. well knowing they would practice for some weeks. would be able
. I sent him a fax mentioning the matter at hand and prayed him to adjust his schedule so we could discuss it after his arrival in my group during his next tour. from a distance. I wanted no student to feel the pain of seeing a legitimate question unconsidered. but within one week at the latest I would have received an answer. then most would leave everything and pursue other esoteric interests. Few people. they didn't "survive" such a meeting. in anticipation of an event I intuitively knew would come. now the silence. I took leave of those students. After introducing the theme of no-mind. After about a dozen people had received Kriya -. I rejoiced at the opportunity because I dreamed I could finally explain Kriya in a complete and exhaustive way. He asked me a lot of pertinent questions and I gave him accurate answers. I answered kindly but succinctly and invited them to the next seminar where my teacher would be present. Through a friend. Usually. On a request from friends abroad.
the necessity that brought me to write him was to establish once and for all what I was supposed to communicate and what not to communicate to the kriyabans during initiation. imagining a hypothetical discussion with him. My second letter had brought about a definitive split. he did not address it directly to me but pretended to answer the 'persona' that had materially sent my letter via fax. it would be only to gratify my ego. I didn't want to contest him. In a disdainful way. Thomas. since I taught Kriya on his behalf. I found myself crying with joy. situation. I never received an answer. I saw on his Internet site that the name of my town had been taken off his visit to Italy. I thus made him understand that he would not have wasted his time and breath only for me. Reading the term "gratification. tensely. I roamed a lot." I knew he had understood nothing. and now all that had really ended!
. The nightmare was over! I took a one day vacation and went for a long walk. He wrote that my excessive attachment to the techniques would never let me out of the fences of my mind -. A few weeks later. authorized by him to impart Kriya initiation. A harsh reply came a few days later. It was too beautiful: I was free.to comprehend the reason for my action. Why had he always evaded me? I decided to behave in a candidly as if I had not perceived his tone: I wanted to see what he was capable of. We should have talked to each other long before it came to this! I wondered why he had never allowed me to express my concerns.I was like S. I would be the one who had disturbed an imperfect. neither then or later. I wrote that. He added that if he satisfied my request. his annual visit was a powerful stimulus to their effort and motivated them to practice Kriya intensely. a mutual discussion about certain Kriya details was necessary. yet comfortable. could also be present. My friends liked him. I added that at such an event the other three people in Europe. too desirous to touch with my hand and verify the goodness of his teachings. I didn't want to destroy him. I neither apologized nor answered in a resentful tone. All of a sudden. I had been too many years with him.
One day I went skiing in the nearby mountains with a couple of friends. As he was well qualified for his role. and concepts were repeated ad nauseam. An intimate kriyaban friend had gone to India to meet the teacher for a private interview. When it came to teaching simple and banal things that even kindergarten children could understood.was weighing me down. which didn't quench their thirst for a thorough understanding of Kriya. My first Kriya school and the other teachers I had followed for so many years disappointed me for the simple reason that none of them taught Kriya in a serious way. visibly vexed. the Himalayas being their continuation. Musings upon the Guru-disciple Relationship It was winter. But this was not the real issue. The sense of all the time wasted -.of all the silly things which had been carried out thoughtlessly -. they came out of their hypnotic state and. other coordinators in Europe. This split in our relationship was perceived with bewilderment by friends who felt they were his disciples. Finally I had been relieved of any constraint of wearing a mask of hypocrisy. who barely tolerated his bad manners. I imagined India to be right behind them. there was a great profusion of words. When others came close to the core issues or when anyone in public politely but with determination asked for a precise explanation. Like a domino effect. tried to humiliate and silence the scrupulous student. Some months later the wheel of good fortune seemed to be turning again. an enervating situation ended. I had not even a faint idea of what was the destiny of the recently formed Kriya groups. until then regularly visited by that Kriya teacher. They were fed up with the dullness of his philosophical discourses followed by scanty technical explanations. I found myself looking at the mountains marking out the boundaries of the distant horizon in all directions. My thought went to all the Kriya enthusiasts
. In time. I agreed to cooperate in this project and bear part of its cost. In less than half an hour the sun would paint them pink – with an intense hue on their eastern side and tinged with blue on the western side. I no longer had to go here and there to organize Kriya seminars or respond to those who called me to get information about him.CHAPTER 5 AGAIN ALONE ON THE SPIRITUAL PATH
The years that followed the break-up with my third and last teacher were completely different from the previously described years. I managed to remain alone. took advantage of that episode to also break contact with him. During a break in the afternoon. All went magnificently. Having dismissed that rascal from my life. they understood the deep-seated motives for my breakup and expressed solidarity with me. there was the possibility of inviting a new Kriya Acharya to Europe.
Nay.I felt an infinite rebellion. without being at odds with the deeply-rooted conditioning of their "cerebral chemistry"? Of course. insurmountable obstacles in the understanding of that beloved discipline. we would have a reliable manual of Kriya that would have restrained the many small or large variations made up by various teachers. If this book existed. rational vision. comprehensible in front of the eyes of our intuition. that book is still one of the best. All those obstacles seemed to me an absurdity that wore the clothes of a nightmare -. contact the author. Perhaps some annotator would try to force its meaning into his own theories. especially if they had accepted to teach the entire Kriya properly gradually. yet rich in content. and pay good money to be introduced to rubbish that he had assembled either through fancy or borrowed from some esoteric book. There would be no more rhetorical claims of legitimacy and riddle-like sentences to confuse readers or have them guess at technical details or create further doubts in them! I was dreaming of a book which would prove its validity by attempting to reproduce Lahiri Mahasaya's thought in the simplest and most logical way. But how could one highlight this to them.. I visualized a book on Kriya explaining every technique in great detail. to summarize the totality of my knowledge of Kriya into a book -. while there were much more complicated techniques which could only be passed on by an authorized teacher to chosen disciples. it’s part of our human nature. with the required care .who found. to skim its few pages – sober. For the first time I dared to contemplate the prospect. Some would swallow the bait. sincere researchers would surely be able to recognize the strength and self-sufficient intrinsic evidence of the original text. harmonious set of techniques! The book: Hatha Yoga: The Report of a Personal Experience by Theos Bernard came to mind. The intention was definitely not to celebrate myself or lay the foundations for yet another new school of Kriya. It would be hard. as I did..welding together techniques and theories through a clean.without keeping anything for themselves. in a complete. My book could not be a threat to any honest Kriya Acharya's activity. However. Good teachers will always be needed in any field when a skill is to be transmitted. This happens. Old. some
This extraordinary handbook. it would only be for the purpose of clarifying theoretic and technical explanations. better than all the others. My project was still was only a dream! I let my thoughts stray toward what could happen if I wrote it. 75
.. of course. In spite of having been published many years ago and of the several texts of Hatha Yoga appearing recently. I was positive that some pseudo-guru would say the techniques described in it were for beginners only. 16 A similar book on Kriya would be a real blessing for scholars and researchers. clarifies the teachings contained in the three fundamental texts of Tantrism: Hatha Yoga Pradipika. If I was to describe my experiences. yet possible. 'dusty' techniques once again became relevant. feasible. Gheranda Samhita and Shiva Samhita. How often had I wondered what would have happened if Lahiri Mahasaya or one of his disciples had written it! My imagination led me to fantasize about its cover.
and they would be fearful of that. How could I find the courage to violate the vow of secrecy. Each part of my dream had developed in the space of a few seconds. either because they are taken aback by the barrenness of an exposition deprived of frills. a Catholic priest sincerely desired to learn Kriya but could not receive it from the right channels because of an issue of conscience in the act of signing the application form of the lessons. A kriyaban explained the dynamics of Kriya Pranayama to his mother who was invalid. Thanks to them.would consider my book a real threat. thus missing a part of the conference… By staring into the blue of the sky above the gilded mountain brims. Maybe what was virtually eternal for them (living like a lord. At times he would have to pretend not to notice that a student was browsing through its pages during his seminars. I perceived this as a cruel form of discrimination. They would try to destroy its credibility by means of a pitiless censorship. German and Spanish. I was already living in their happiness. but willing and capable to practice it. I anticipated their scornful comments uttered while skimming its pages: "It contains only stories that have nothing to do with Babaji's and Lahiri Mahasaya's teachings.teachers of Kriya . Only those who love Kriya more than their whims would feel an enormous relief in finding it in an esoteric library.such instruction was given only in written form to those who had completed the study of the complete set of lessons which existed only in English. In my experience. an innumerable amount of times I had thought: "Such a rule is the cause of disastrous effects. People who were otherwise faithful to the organization had. but it cannot be: it is human.those who live from donations during rituals of initiation and who exert power over people thanks to the pledge of secrecy . which hurts their convictions. I was overcome by doubts. But when I returned to my senses. secrecy was a blind dogma. they say it is sacred. I recalled what happened many. of excruciating conflicts and sufferings. The answer was always an inflexible no. coarsely challenging the sacredness of the Guru-disciple relationship as the unique way to be instructed in Kriya? For sure. I saw that bizarre situation as poignantly real. In another case that made me uneasy. he found a kriyaban who explained to him the
. under exceptional conditions. asked to receive initiation into the Higher Kriyas -. the outcome of petty calculations". as if every part of it had already been rehearsed and cherished innumerable times. and who knows how many times it would get back to the teacher who had decreed its unforgivable flaws. I remembered a couple of cases in which the rigid injunction had been broken by common sense. many times when some friends of mine who didn't understand English. or because their refined sensibility does not manage to catch that 'vibration' which should characterize the authenticity of the author's experience. broken that rule. and invaded my consciousness as a swollen torrent. insensitive to the suffering of many researchers. the book would continue to circulate. It spreads a false teaching!" Other people for different reasons could not like the book. surrounded by people who have to meet all their needs with the hope of getting the crumbs of their "secrets") might change.
I don't maintain a barrier between the true Guru (the Divine) and the disciple". how should we relate to it. To face the truth. but as the personification of all the wisdom and spiritual realization which. They claim secrecy helps "to maintain the purity of the teachings". especially those that are nice and gratifying. comes the idea that the organization is the materialization of God's will. I had first to analyze in depth the concept of Guru. that is exactly what He wrote: thrown away. Only through the dogma of secrecy could they hope to claim that a kriyaban cannot approach God. if there were no request of secrecy. the Kriya practice will produce. how should it be considered. Other justifications for this myth appear fragile. He added he wanted to be considered like "a mirror". A chief of the most important Italian branch of my school had once instructed me: "Don't you understand that P. 17 Some years before. but through their Guru and their organization. then that mirror must be "thrown away". If the Guru-disciple relationship is an illusion that one day will dissolve. Lahiri Mahasaya refused to be worshiped as a God. it was clear that writing a book was another thing: this very idea created a painful grip in my breast along with a general sense of uneasiness and unreality.technique and shared with him his lessons -. each kriyaban should look at him not as an unreachable ideal. discriminating approach to abandon one's own illusions. in due time. A Kriya organization would become just an institution devoted to publishing the works of its founder. it would be better to affirm: "to maintain the purity of the modifications!" I might be wrong.Y. 18
Whether one likes it or not. The myth of secrecy allows the myths of the irreplaceable role of the organization to be kept alive. Besides courage. Knowing some minor but however important alterations in the practice of Kriya supported by organizations. it takes also a good brain capable of overcoming the tendency to be easily swayed. otherwise they would face a strong conflict within themselves. From the idea that Guru and God are the same reality. I was perplexed when representatives of P. Actually he said: "I am not the Guru. When kriyabans realize their Guru is the personification of what resides potentially inside themselves.Y. In other words.that was an action he was strictly forbidden to do. The threat of possible calamities that 77
. but I feel that the unique benefit of secrecy for an individual is to have one's pleasure of possessing something exclusive reach a fever pitch. would inevitably become more "human". Now. However. People who have been raised with the usual dogmas about the Guru-disciple relationship are prevented from fully understanding the impact of these words. during that long phase of the path in which the illusion appears to us at all effects as reality? Certainly the Guru cannot be considered identical to God. This is a point that some of his followers seem to have forgotten. 18 It is strange to remark that only in the world of initiatic magic a method is deprived of its value if it is learned in non-conventional ways. it takes courage and an intelligent.'s organization suggested that Guru and God were one and the same reality. the GuruGod would belong to everyone. I understood that in order to be at peace with myself. of what one day they will become. is the Divine Mother Herself"? Only now I was able to see how extraneous this teaching was from my sensitivity.
.I am aware that this individual may truly feel that the spiritual vibrations received through formal Initiation brought his practice to a "higher octave". Again my thought had turned to a minor point. It is the Guru-preceptor that introduces you to God. the departed Guru was said to be real and present in their life. But if one day he dismisses the practice. My heart exulted. That mountain was the symbol of the universal spiritual path. it instead perfectly suits those of the esoteric-magic dimension of certain societies – rather. rejecting all the Kriya matter as an overcome obsession. Students were required to swear their everlasting devotion not only to one person but also to a chain of Masters. I found myself crying for joy. Looking for a different spiritual teaching amounted to "a hateful rejection of the Divine’s hand. even if only one of them was to be regarded as the Guru-preceptor. A spiritual researcher with a balanced rational-devotional approach has good reason to be baffled by this. was black. Once the students were initiated into a spiritual discipline by the "legitimate channels" (authorized disciples). no one will deprive me of the pleasure of asking where all those spiritual vibrations have gone and . That image was strong. while I practiced Kriya Pranayama with the awareness totally centered in Sahasrara and the tongue in Kechari Mudra. its form reminded me of the point of an arrow made of obsidian. it appeared to me as a monstrosity. They were taught that their Guru would burn somehow a part of their Karma and protect them evermore. I was madly enamored of that image.
would happen to whom infringes the dogma of secrecy clashes with everything we read in the biographies of the saints. It was as if an inner thread linked all my past actions to that image. secrecy is essential to their preservation. Each time I tried to organize my vision in a wellintegrated and coherent whole. The weird thing was that the word Guru was attributed to a person whom the disciples had not known directly. he was a special aid chosen by God Himself even before they began to seek the spiritual path. The central mountain.. I won't dare to contradict him. It was very difficult to put all the crucial points in a logic order. the highest. stretched out to offer benediction". It spoke to my intuition: "A Guru might be very important to your spiritual development. There could be nothing more beautiful: it made me mad with love. I remained as calm as possible to feel that particular strength and pressure that increased tightening the whole region of my chest with its grip of beatitude. tremendously vivid in my inner vision. for one reason or another. I had the impression of having cast a glance toward the misty sources from which my current trend of life originated. what "octave" is he now attuned to. I tried to think sequentially but either the mental and physical fatigue was impairing my reasoning ability or different conditionings carved in my brain acted as entities which had a life of their own. receiving meaning and significance from it. My thoughts began to revolve again around the situation of the diffusion of Kriya. There is no other way to achieve Self realization. One evening. I had the inner vision of three beautiful mountains. 78
into his soul and his will. The organization had made me believe I had a Guru -79
. That was the eternal beauty! That was the norm by which I would be inspired. In any Guru-disciple relationship there comes a moment when you remain alone and you awaken to the realization that your path is a solitary flight between you and your indwelling Self. exceedingly different from mine. that is. his Guru. to escape the lot of those who have lived their whole life without finding their true selves in themselves. I read that one day. I dragged myself back home. blood-red circle. Later. the problem of the Guru-disciple relationship emerged. playing Beethoven's second movement of the Emperor Concerto. obscurely. ever practice Kriya with the same dignity and courage with which Beethoven challenged his fate? I turned down the lights and watched the sun set behind the trees on the top of a hill. When you choose an elder.that of Vivekananda's "investiture" by his Guru Ramakrishna. toward the end of his life. whispered: "O my Naren (Vivekananda). from self. you renounce your own will and yield it to him in complete submission. Ramakrishna entered Samadhi while his disciple was near him. I do not have anything. " (Translated by Constance Garnett)
Eventually the awareness dawned on me that Vivekananda' story and Dostoevsky's extract depicted situations which were intrinsically. more as a wound than as a theory unfolding its myths.useful and comfortable -. Did anybody. after a life of obedience. after having haunted all the possible ceremonies of Initiation given by the "legitimate" channels. I closed my eyes to have a dispassionate. Having returned to consciousness. is undertaken voluntarily. crying. we are saying something true and unquestionable. to attain perfect freedom. I set the record player on "repeat". subdued by a sudden tiredness. after a long walk. The Guru-disciple relationship is an illusion -.. impressive discourse by Dostoevsky about the role of elders in Russian monasteries in his The Brothers Karamazov:
"What was such an elder? An elder was one who took your soul. in the hope of self-conquest.appearing real until you are not overcome by what surpasses your mind. I have become a poor fakir. complete self-abnegation. Now. being stuffed with all the possible Guru's blessings.but your personal effort when you remain alone is far more important. Vivekananda started to feel a strong current before fainting. It came to me spontaneously to reread the memorable. This novitiate. Ramakrishna explained that the powers he passed onto him could not be used for his own spiritual fulfillment. with these powers you will do the world an immense good". Worn-out by thoughts. A strange image captured my attention . unemotional discernment of the situation. everything I had I gave to you. In my room. one had to get to that by himself." That glaring intuition faded away after a couple of days. today. your will. in order. this terrible school of abnegation. on the contrary. I think my subconscious came up with such a flash as a warning not to yield to the temptation of throwing something valid and precious away. The shape of a cypress covered a part of that great.. if we say that Ramakrishna was Vivekananda's Guru. of self-mastery. they would help him in his mission as a spiritual teacher. One evening.
as I learned it. I was light years away from having one.whereas in fact. Serious practitioners are never isolated: they will be helped by other's positive response and vice versa they will be slowed down by their indolence and apathy. in relation to our group. The Collective Unconscious is "inherited with our cerebral structure" and consists of "the human systems of reacting" to the most intense events that can happen in one's lifetime: the birth of a child. war.for months. I asked him what it was and his reply literally froze me: he could not tell me. When single individuals take an action -. This net connecting every one of us is the Collective Unconscious.they touch the surrounding threads of the net. 20 He clarified that. He was enthusiastic. "removed" things that we cannot recall to consciousness . since he had promised the teacher he would not reveal anything. those who have a Guru and follow him humbly. Some hours later. that the situation is simple. My friend had his Kriya Pranayama reviewed. true love. death of a loved one. How many times have I heard the acid remark that those who have no Guru have their Ego as their Guru! Organizations in particular emphasize that.. I felt that there is not such a sharp division. 19 My musings arrived just to that point and there they stopped -. we were sitting in my room. 80
. like starting on a mystic path and making good progress on it -. natural disasters. Those who follow the spiritual path carry other people's evolution ahead. like the network of our brain's neurons. he had indeed asked for
To Freud the Unconscious was similar to a depot full of old. Should I accept the idea of a marked separation of spiritual researchers into two classes? On one side. Visualize a net: each individual is a junction from which a lot of other links fan out. They had talked about the deplorable situation of the diffusion of Kriya in the West: the teacher was sorry for that and manifested his willingness to help us. I was all ears.refused by a nearly automatic act of the will. family crisis. I am sure of this fact because it was the only thing my friend was able to see – we did not talk about inner details of the practice. he asked me to practice Kriya Pranayama. my relationship was purely ideal.
Considering the episode later. those without a Guru who can follow only their intuition and reasoning. He remarked that there was a fault in my practice. in front of him. Hence. While the great examples of Guru-disciple relationship were based on a real physical meeting between two persons.. In my opinion. marriage. on the other side. serious illness. I realized what this incorrect detail was: I had not made the abdominal breath in a particularly visible way. A Fruitful Shock The kriyaban friend who had gone to India to meet the teacher we were planning to invite to Europe called me: he was to have a private interview with him and had good news.a significant one of course. There was no other Guru in which I could mirror myself but the mystic fire burning in my heart. each person is part of this net: there is no division. Jung discovered a deeper level of it: the Collective Unconscious which links all human beings by the deepest layers of their psyche.
We had reached an absurd situation: if the friends in my group wanted one more crumb of information regarding the Kriya practice. the contrary had been proved.his teacher's permission to correct eventual mistakes in our practice: the answer had been negative and the teacher swore him to secrecy. A few months before I would shake my head that it was not possible to practice Kriya without begging and obtaining it from an organization or from a living Guru. One of the first things I was taught was that if Kriya is not received from the right channel it doesn't have any value. I was sure the Kriya techniques worked outside the Guru-disciple relationship. It is ineffective. The responsibility of choosing a didactic plan was mine: in order to envisage it. he also would have required the customary oath of secrecy. the cost.to a remote Indian village. Was this teacher – who had manifested the intention to help us .concerned that we would not find any need to invite him to Europe. the future of Kriya diffusion belongs to those seekers whose earnestness is so great that they are able to transform the no-matter-howreceived instruction into "gold". I have trust in those who think: "Beyond either reasonable or improbable expectations of finding a Kriya expert at my disposal. or visit him. accompanying me in my ventures with the two teachers and suffering the same woes. I could not and would not enter the privacy of his experience but how could he just let me and our group go on with an incorrect practice? The shattering fact was to see a friend with whom I had shared everything along my spiritual path. With my thinking faculties almost paralyzed by this sudden turn of events. Each year. Otherwise. let me roll my sleeves up and move on!"
. I improved the compilation of my notes about different Kriya techniques jotted down during different seminars. an innumerable series of charter flights would transport all those interested in Kriya . they would die without this information. like a pilgrimage to Lourdes or Fatima! The farce was not even worthy of being considered. after our mistake had been corrected? Was he really so petty and unkind? I did not put pressure on my friend to disclose other detail about his talk with the teacher. I used my past experiences as a starting point. Now. I followed their progress: they gave me the evidence they were improving in a way worthy of admiration. and the time he spent on this venture. As for the idea visiting him. they would have to fly to India.no matter if old or ill . In my opinion. I taught Kriya to a couple of earnest persons who could not receive Kriya after this change of plans. I retaliated and refused to see or talk with him again. and passed them on to friends who had already received initiation but not in all levels of Kriya. contacted by the teacher's secretary who handled the financial side of the tour in a coarse way. as if this justified his trip to India. I declined the offer. conditions were added that were unacceptable to me. Actually I was not in the mood to undertake the work of another organization. Some days later. satisfied only with having noticed our mistake.
I reduced my social life to an absolute minimum in order to give my all to writing the book. as if. After getting detailed information about a very advanced technique. for unfathomable reasons. I practiced again the three parts of the advanced technique I received from my third teacher (described in the second part of this book as Fifth Kriya) that I rectified and perfected through precious information I received from other sources. fourth and sixth Chakra respectively) to which two secondary knots (tongue. which seemed to match perfectly the scanty descriptions of that Seventh Kriya. In some reliable books there were hints of a further Seventh Kriya. I would not have been able to contact him in the future. 21 It was perhaps because I lived them more in the open air and more in summer than in any other season that I associate them with long sunsets. years before. I was not entirely sure how to define the levels. Unfortunately. I wondered if they would have to be put in some kind of one-to-one correspondence with the process of unfastening the internal knots mentioned in Yoga tradition (Brahma. but only in case I receive new information corroborating them and showing their intrinsic value in light of Lahiri Mahasaya's legacy. 82
. six or more levels of Kriya would result. the major impulse which led me to finish the prescribed number of repetitions of each Higher Kriya as soon as possible was also the anxiety of obtaining the next initiation from my teacher. I felt the necessity to dedicate a more constant attention to what. I decided to resume the practice of the so-called Incremental Routines with the maximum amount of conscientiousness. The period in which I plunged head-first into its three incremental
The accurate details of how different incremental routines are structured is to be found in the third part of the book. Some variations remain in my shorthand notebooks. in the final completed picture. It was not easy to extract from my huge piles of notes collected during years with different teachers.The First Draft of the Book I purchased a computer and. like a voluntary prisoner.notifying the reader that mine was just a hypothetical reconstruction. Now I could retrieve my initial enthusiasm and bring new life to my Kriya path. had been embarked on in a superficial manner. Vishnu and Shiva located in the first. At the same time. ready to be added to the book. In fact. in the past. I didn't know if. the essential core of Kriya Yoga. After overcoming the uncertainties and difficulties of choosing a definite scheme. I decided to describe the Kriya system as made of First Kriya with eight techniques followed by the six steps of the Higher Kriyas -. There was the feeling of working on a difficult puzzle.called Omkar Kriyas or Kriyas of Sthir (static) Prana. I added its description to the list of the techniques -. with evenings that seemed to have no end. navel) were added by Lahiri Mahasaya. four. The ardent desire of "squeezing out" anything he could teach me was fed by a strange fear. I have written all I know about the Kriya techniques. without a preview of what was to be obtained in the end.
not with a spirit of devotion and surrender. I started to perceive something in my heart. He
. During this Incremental Routine. I would have sent them immediately these instructions. treating them as incompetent and superficial beginners! Was it so difficult to simply answer truthfully: "I don't have that information"? I remember a discussion with one who claimed he had access to the original Kriya. Mo . I understood that the reality of love was the most intense force of life. Noticing how many illusions are propagated by religions and cults. bearing witness to an era which I believed much more distant in time than it was in reality. They talk in the same tone used by my old "Ministers". They have the audacity to hush the humble student by counseling them to improve the depth of what they already have received. I occasionally consulted a couple of Forums for devotees of Kriya Yoga. I felt that man cannot by instinct avoid loving or taking care of somebody . I had a feeling that even the most egotistical person is able to give their life away for their children. something thawed and it came to such an intensity of love that the same experience turned into a "blissful" pain. even if they can’t find in themselves the power for great and incredible actions. My desire was to see if other kriyabans had similar problems. I was perfectly aware that mine was not a commonly established way of practicing. Walking on. they label the seekers' desire for deepening the Kriya practice as a "dangerous mania". I wondered how they dared to enter (uninvited) a person's life and personal space. I felt sorry for all those who . Unfortunately. is not able to maintain that attitude when Religion is concerned. but I could not help it. but with such a beseeching attitude as if they feared even worse calamities. then I realized that my mates' lives were wrapped up in love. Many were seeking information about Kechari Mudra. a sort of tension of tenderness. I would murmur the syllables Om. If I had had their email.. (which are typical of the Thokar practice) trying to put each one in the correspondent center. I moved around as if my heart bore a brazier within. Lahiri Mahasaya wrote that a kriyaban is deeply transformed by it and learns to see "what others cannot or do not actually want to see". The sentiment of this ineluctable reality was experienced as a painful grip tearing my chest apart. corrupted only by the pollution of mind. I could not avoid that this procedure brought to the surface deeply rooted old wounds. betraying the lowest form of consideration. But the same person that you admire as noble and fearless. old fogeys. as a consequence. that person was very secretive and exclusive.like his own children..in the abyss of their tragedy – were not able to voice their sharp loud cry to God facing Him in protest but kept on imploring God. I perceived that the center of my personality was not in the brain. As the sun rose over our path and the sanctuary appeared over a hill. about whom they knew nothing. I took part in a pilgrimage with a group and walked a full night in order to reach a beautiful sanctuary the following morning. Na. With factious tenderness. he cannot avoid painful experiences. Thinking of humanity as a single thing. but in my heart.routines was really a magic one. I was struck with the pedantic and conceited tone of some that abused genuine and honest curiosity.
I found this stupid. I had waited years and ravenously desired to face the "impossible" doses of the final incremental routine of the micro movement Tribhangamurari (see the second part of the book where the procedure is described as Sixth Omkar Kriya). I would sit down. There was no way (coffee. Why should Kriya belong to him? Kriya was a collection of introspective tools taken from different traditions. something to drink. a new job was proposed to me which was more engaging than the previous one. I was trying to hide my tears behind the black lenses of my sunglasses. occasionally. I cannot describe what I felt except in poetic form. there was no other job! I had always loved the technique: even a little practice was always a miracle of sweetness. More than once. During the day. accompanying the dance with a subtle form of Thokar. was the only thing keeping together the pieces of his scattered mind. After some months of freedom.. for me. at dusk I went to the beach. I would move an object. I took shelter under a tree from the sun. however. a little stone. my trunk swung left. that it did not solve my problem: the sleepiness came back as soon as I resumed the practice. where a small number of people used to go for a walk and a little rest in the surroundings. I spent a lot of time in the open. my trunk quivered a little giving such a profusion of bliss! I learned to practice without being disturbed by anything: in this way. The period in which I was absorbed in this process is enveloped by a dreamy aura.said there were a number of true Kriya teachers around but was unwilling to share any names or addresses. When I thought the last syllable.. At the end of each cycle. it is actually very difficult to refer to specific details regarding it. There is an Indian song (in the final part of the movie Mahabharata)
. It was absurd to claim they belonged to one person. the technique embarked on blended into my life. I was caught by such a euphoria that I felt the irresistible instinct to swing the body. It was like dancing from a sitting stance. the waves were continually changing their color. Whenever I pronounced the seventh syllable. leaned my back against a rock and stayed there. from one side of my body to the other to keep track of the approximate number of 36 cycles. camouflaging with a semblance of spiritual advancement the nothingness that he was from a human point of view. I used to carry along a seat made of a plastic and a wool layer. a lot of rest…) to find some relief from it. especially such a nasty one. and then left again. at the end of my day. breathe deeply and proceeded with the Mantra and the consequent Micro movement. there was nothing to do but to accept the situation. After interrupting the practice to get some rest. thinking of the following one it swung right. Often I was caught by a strong. pretending to stare at a distant object. because that would interrupt the condition of absorption and quiet. One day I was on a cliff not far from a beach. I found out. I imagined that the petty idea of possessing secret knowledge. not conveyable to others. I learned not to straighten it with a sudden movement. After many hours of practice. In a rush of anger. having in itself an almost unbearable charm. overpowering sleepiness. the sky was an indestructible crystal of infinite transparency. I was fortunate to be able to take early retirement. I found my back slightly bent forward. and a thirty-six-bead rosary. I practiced keeping my eyes open.
transcending any material conception of obscurity. After a couple of months there was a reaction from my former third teacher. which I would enjoy for the rest of my life. experiencing the calmness and contentedness that comes to those who devote all their efforts to a single purpose. something peculiar took place. as radiant as the sun. Nothing would have the power to keep me away from this state and this terrifically beautiful practice. inexorably. He defined me an "intellectual prostitute". did I begin to realize that my longtime ambition had been accomplished and that finally there was a Kriya book readily accessible to everyone. Nature hates a vacuum. until I was able to find the truth. During a seminar he explained my actions as those of one who wants to make a business of Kriya. My thinking became compact. must perish! What perished. Unfortunately the difficulty in bearing other's superficial behavior became the cause of some break-ups. I had not felt any urgency.started to crumble. Many psychological fetters -. up to touching the unpolluted truth. auferstehen! Hör auf zu beben! Bereite dich zu leben! Gustav Mahler (1860-1911) What was created. so other people came into my life to keep the flame of friendship alive. I tried to go inexorably and all the way into any problem. the book was ready and was posted on the Web. My reaction was amusement and satisfaction.
Was entstanden ist.whose lyrics are taken from the Svetasvatara Upanishad . At long last."I have met this Great Spirit. I enjoyed that quiet moment of my life. I could not tolerate the least deformation of truth. das muß vergehen! Was vergangen. The time employed in this activity had been much longer than expected. must rise again! Cease from trembling! Prepare yourself to live!
. But truth is total truth: it touched the reality of life and zeroed my diplomatic mask. Concerning the effects. my heart was inflamed. When I listened to the beautiful voice of the Indian singer repeating "There is no other way". But that night I could not sleep. I had disappeared from the world but had not forgotten the book. Only the one who knows Him can transcend the limits of birth and death. of a solidity that other people's suggestions were not capable to undermine.conditioning that seemed immovable -. There is no other way to reach liberation but meeting this Great Spirit". Friends said I would never finish it. There was the tendency of going deeper. Only then.