P. 1
Not Yet

Not Yet

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Published by John Whipple

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Published by: John Whipple on Oct 24, 2011
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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I write through the darkness… too… too much maybe… now.

The darkness that closes in… after I have tried everything (?) And nothing worked (?) My steps falter… give way… sliding back… sinking… as if in quicksand… or… more likely… slowsand. I draw breath. Continue. Live for that Moment. That Moment that carries us together unknowing… uncaring… This is Good. This is Real. There is no time now to question. Your sole duty is to be ____. Not yet. Not yet. I say as I pass the hardware store. Not yet. This is not over. Invent a title for this next chapter. Fill this blank page. You know this hurts. Each day I take a beat-down… from myself… Who else? At night I crawl into the bed of a pickup truck for cover. What? The nights are colder. Now. The nights are longer. Now. Where is the Good News? Where is the Hollywood Ending? I should have stayed out of the theaters when I was young. I believed in Good Guys. Once. I believed in Bad Guys. Once. Take your children to at least one tragic, non-Hollywood movie. Something independent or foreign maybe. No Country for Old Men. Let them say with quivering lips “but-b-bubut…nothing worked out!” “That’s right” “Now go to bed” Today, I will put on some clean clothes and head into town. No one will know these things about me. Yet. I will draw breath. I will be a kid again and look for the Good News. The Hollywood Ending. I will believe I am the good guy. Still. Somehow. It won’t last but maybe the next Moment will arrive before it fades completely. Not yet. Not yet.

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