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""

Depression.

Much is said of how to cope with depression. How to survive it, deal with
it, manage it. How to see a light/carrot at the end of the tunnel. Nothing
much is said of the tunnel itself.
Do things you enjoy, share your feelings with loved ones, take each day as
it comes, listen to Tony Robbins while you sleep… What use is this advice
when relationships with family, friends, teachers, are so thoroughly
colonised by the forms of sociability and production which lead to these
feelings in the first place? How do you deal with the fact that your family
is investing in you and expect a return? Or that the state no longer sees
you as worth the investment, except as a producer of perpetual debt?
How can we cope with the subtle yet enforced competition against our
friends for good marks? With being instructed by superiors in the proper
way to critique power? How can you answer family friends who ask what
you’re going to do with your arts degree?
Despite talk of the post-industrial West, we are still on the production line
– only the produce has changed. Instead of cars, toothpaste and toys we
produce desire, debt, careers and websites. And for those of us who still
insist on being bookish, we produce Academic Excellence. For what
purpose? IT research for efficiency. Medical research for profit and longer
(working) lives. Sociological research for coffee tables. And psychological
research for managing human resources. Psychology, via its current
favourite child Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, no longer has time to
impose its own fruity theories on our minds, but rather has been
employed to implement the most efficient, no-nonsense methods for
getting us back-up-and-running, working, writing essays, socialising,
carrying on. It tells us that negative feelings are solely a result of negative
thoughts. This theory has seeped into the HR imagination, where workers
are commanded to see forced redundancy “as an opportunity”, with the
pathological cheerfulness of a corporate team-building weekend.
I don't mean to write off CBT altogether – once a certain stage of
paralysis has been reached, changing the way you think can enable you to
imagine and to start to create different social and productive relations.
And that’s just the point. Why do we need well-meaning psych-grads with
sympathetic eyebrows asking us about our childhoods in six sessions?
(Only four during peak-times, such as exam-time – get in early!) What is
needed is a type of optimism that will cut through the powerlessness of
23

that’s-the-way-it-is-deal-with-it oppression that will afford us an
emancipatory creativity and a rabid imagination. The depression and
alienation often felt when critiquing the systems which shape our lives is
symptomatic of our Human Centipede- education, with those in front of
us crapping in our mouths only for us to do the same to those behind us.
The idea that until some utopia magically appears we all have to be
drugged up to the eyeballs and be told what we're feeling and why is
deeply problematic. This model of being "guided" and "self" helped
(which never actually comes from your self, but rather from some expert)
is disheartening and only ever aims for personal, individual "happiness" that is, coping with an exploitative working life. I'm not trying to find a
cure or guide people through clinical depression - there are thousands of
bestsellers doing that. I'm saying that people can think for themselves
about the mechanisms of exploitation in which they find themselves and
organise collectively around that. To find that you, yourself, can articulate
your own experience without resorting to dictated psychologymanagement speak can be more empowering than repeating selfaffirmation mantras cooked up by some self-appointed hack with an
expensive smile.

24

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2"('#*4=
#"

##

- Getting friendly with the neighbours is important too. Many people are
sympathetic and it is not uncommon for squatters to get local support.
Others will dislike you – often out of prejudice but don’t panic. Few
change their opinions overnight so a “fuck-you” attitude won’t get you
very far.

Squatting is time consuming and tiring, plus, it can be socially demanding
living with others in non-compartmentalised spaces. But ultimately
squatting can be hugely rewarding for your own housing needs but also
for the needs of others. Space everywhere is being enclosed. Squats can
open it back up. Consider how you might use a space. Could groups from
your Uni use a space for something? Putting on events, allowing groups
to meet and organise there, or even just offering a place for people to
hang together can all create a sense of belonging and social value that no
business can match. Space is precious so cherish and use it.

Crim e,
Episode
4:
Ruth
Rendell's
(chancellor) in the Naked City

M iam i

Vice

Ruth's a second year drama student, but her big vice is that she's lazy, she
can't get her act together essay-wise, particularly this latest one on gritty
situationist detective series, the Naked City. Luckily for her, all the way
from Miami is good old Agatha Christie, essay writer for hire. Christie, like
her athletic namesake has no qualms about cheating and luckily for her
this means she rakes in the cash come deadline day. Realising that her
own essays were of passable quality she found that it made sense to offer
her 'editing' and 'study support' skills to the posher, richer kids at college.
She advertised at Uni and used one of those online services pairing up
those hopeless writers with the semi-English literate who mastered the
magic formula of writing a half-decent 4000-word tirade... It was fine,
only the first and last paragraphs (or pages, if she was really (un)lucky)
actually ever got read. Now Ruth is happy and Christie can fulfil some
stereotypes with that extra wad for her lunchbox.
34

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#'

Overqualified, Overworked and Un(der)paid – An Internshipping Forecast.

W hen you send something by ship it's called cargo. W hen you
send something by car it's called shipment. W hen you send
someone to fetch you a coffee it's called an internship.
Unpaid internships are illegal. All corporate entities are legally bound to
comply with the national minimum wage legislation. This does not apply
to not-for-profit organisations (even though many companies, such as
Serco, profit off volunteer work), hence the practice of politicians not
paying their staff. The other loophole is that you may be unpaid if it’s part
of a course placement.
For the past two decades the employability of graduates has been
integral to government agendas, with universities addressing the issue via
curricula and course design. But in the prevailing economic conditions
you might already be worried about your future and post-graduation
chances of getting a job in order to support and sustain yourself. As such
you might have chosen a degree that incorporates a practical element – a
work placement, an internship, or whatever they want to call it –
supposedly designed to give you a better chance of getting a job,
especially if you've never worked in a given profession before. It is
understandable why most people believe that a university degree,
particularly one that teaches some actual skills wanted by employers,
could feasibly be a foot on the first step of the so-called career ladder. It
is indeed true that some employers expect applicants to already have a
number of placements under their belt, even when applying for their first,
entry-level jobs. But still – what is practical? What are proper skills? What
is work? Who are these future employers? What even is a career? What
career do you want?
The debate around unpaid internships generally centres on social mobility
and the fact that for those from unprivileged backgrounds such
opportunities remain a closed game. Comments from our local (j)anusfaced, neo-Thatcherite double-act illustrate the divisions and hypocrisy at
the heart of the problem. Tory prime minister, David Cameron and his LibDem deputy, Nick Clegg - or should that be the PM’s office intern? - have
been amongst those mouthing off, but also represent those for whom
private wealth meant never worrying about such things. Just as Clegg
criticised the idea of 'unpaid internships which favour the wealthy and
well-connected', announcing a new scheme promoting the maxim of
38

'what you know, not who you know' (whilst trashing university education
for the poor and having taken lucrative advantage of such opportunities
himself), the PM candidly announced that he was fine with the idea of
giving internships to the progeny of his friends and neighbours. He said he
was 'quite relaxed' about the whole thing. If he relaxes any further his
heart may actually stop. No bad thing, you might speculate, but even so,
you may realise that in light of this, you're more than likely to be under
pressure to complete some unpaid internships yourself post- (or pre-)
graduation.
Unfortunately, last year's graduates are fighting for or already juggling a
couple of such internships alongside one or two precarious and
intermittent jobs. And let’s not forget the attendant denigration of
conditions – unpaid labour is a way to circumnavigate other employment
laws in place to protect workers. What used to be, in the 'good old days'
of job availability and stability, useful on-the-job training leading to a
permanent position is nowadays often spoken of as a necessary condition
of getting paid work, or even 'modern day slavery'. That might sound a bit
excessive, but that it is exploitative is beyond doubt. Legislation exists.
Enforcement, however, does not appear forthcoming. Mainstream politics
is in thrall to the very interests whose furtherance would least be served
by the ending of a culture of cheap, disposable labour.
Whilst individual institutions are clearly part of a far wider economic
reality, they cannot absolve themselves from responsibility - on the other
hand neither can you.
You, too, are accepting the situation and
undercutting fellow workers. Previously when labourers were (often
literally) two a penny, unions and collectives were formed in order to
combat just such a situation. This solution seems remote however, within
our own diffuse, individualised reality. It is hard to imagine the
unionisation of interns within such a competitive and unstable framework.
And so, if hopes of solidarity and enforcement fail, with the traditional
weapons of the left undermined in the face of the new neoliberal
hegemony, where do we turn for relief from such inherently unjust
exploitation? Perhaps we are complicit in our own exploitation, hailed by
the dominating ideology. But at least if we can perceive the forces in
operation we have a hope of, if not changing them, at least supplanting
their pre-eminence within our experiences. If we accept that
institutionalised unpaid labour exploits us, we might attempt to move our
thinking beyond the reproduction of consensus and an existing ethical or
knowledge framework with its inherent transmission of norms of
behaviour.

39

Being hired without conventional employment conditions also allows new
behaviours more latitude. We might operate in a sphere beyond the
ethical normative bonds that conventionally tie employee and employer. If
employers have no consideration for ethical responsibilities then there is
likewise no obligation upon 'employees' either. Those of us that find
ourselves in the position of being exploited may discover those methods
by which we might fight back. This fightback may take the form of a
counter-exploitation, worked towards with all guile and determination.
Experiences might be maximised for their links to spheres of experience
hitherto unreachable, their connections exploited, the knowledge that
they purport to convey, stored and turned against itself. Counterknowledge used against the discourse that suppresses it. The intern can
become the agent of psychic leaks, disseminating the unconscious of the
organisation beyond its boundaries. They can be the weak link in the
organisation's chain, the porous boundary that opens it up to the
collective sphere of wider social practice that it, by definition, excludes or
captures, setting boundaries to enclose and exploit or else exclude and
suppress. Interns can be a virus that infiltrates the heart of such complex
systems; they can, through their very porosity and covert refusal of
allegiance, affect a larger context by making the exploitation of unpaid
labour no longer a viable option for organisations seeking to shield
themselves from such subversive practices.
But what of a placement that you are instructed to carry out as part of
your course? If you end up working for little, or nothing, in return for
something called a ‘work experience placement’, you might as well try to
make the most of it, right? (“And what makes you think you are the right
person for this unpaid internship?”… “Well, sir, I acquired years of
experience in unpaid internships during my course of study.”) Despite all
your tutor’s good intentions however, you may still find yourself stuffing
envelopes in the backroom office, fetching lunch, or maybe even coffee.
Even if you are suspicious of the very idea of time away from lectures or
other uni-based activities (organising, activism, reading groups or
conferences) in order to work for someone, often full-time, for free, it can
have its benefits. Choose an organisation that is fucking with things. You
can be a spy and a heretic. You can document their ideologies and their
agendas, their intimate dealings, straight from the horses’ mouths. Act
impressionable. Write down quotes. And if you see any companies
publicly advertising for a full-time, unpaid internship, ring them up and
threaten
to
report
them
to
https://payandworkrights.direct.
gov.uk/complaints - the ‘Pay and Work Rights’ government website - then
see how long the ad stays up.
40

41

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&&

Postscript.
Who are we? Students, we guess. At least, partly. Multiple voices, opinions
and desires printed cheaply and stapled together at the spine. On second
thoughts, who the fuck are you? Students we guess...? As an antidote to
the institutional amnesia of the university – large numbers of brain cells
flushed out to the job market and the job centre each year, as the new
wave gurgles in – find here some profanities scratched onto cubicle walls.
A partially drawn and badly conceived map of something we do not
understand all the contours of, never could quite work out how all the
partial views fitted together. The problems we face, the things that fuck
us and fuck us off, things we wish we'd thought of earlier. If we have
prevented just one child accepting lollipops from Michael Gove it will have
all been worth it. Failing that, a door wedge is still a use value. Besides, we
worked on it together and the work of engendering a collectivity is what
is needed if we are to become the type of force capable of changing this
entirely fucked and inherently unjust situation. Through a stroke of luck, it
is also that collectivity which supplies the sustenance we need for this
task. We have every faith that you are the person for the (hand)job.

www.studenthandjob.wordpress.com

71

Minor Compositions
Other titles in the series:
Precarious Rhapsody – Franco “Bifo” Berardi
Imaginal Machines – Stevphen Shukaitis
New Lines of Alliance, New Spaces of Liberty – Felix Guattari and Antonio
Negri
The Occupation Cookbook
User’s Guide to Demanding the Impossible – Laboratory of Insurrectionary
Imagination
Spectacular Capitalism – Richard Gilman-Opalsky
Markets Not Capitalism – Ed. Gary Chartier & Charles W. Johnson
Revolutions in Reverse – David Graeber
Forthcoming:
Communization & its Discontents – Ed. Benjamin Noys
19 & 20 – Colectivo Situaciones
A Very Careful Strike – Precarias a la Deriva
Punkademics – Ed. Zack Furness
Art, Production and Social Movement – Ed. Gavin Grindon
The Soy Children – Eduardo Molinari
The [Open] Utopia – Thomas Moore & Stephen Duncombe
As well as a multitude to come…