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III IJ ./.

A- 8 VI C:; 136

The Diaries of


Edited, with an Introduction, by FELIX KLEE

University of California Press Berkeley and Los Angeles, 1968


The reader of the four diaries of Paul Klee in this volume will be initiatedbeing presumably an outsider-e-into a mysterious, rare, individual, and watchful world, that of Paul Klee the "painter." Indeed, the entries in his diaries were not originally intended for publication, but merely for his own reflection. During his lifetime my father allowed no one, not even myself, access to his most personal confession. Shortly after the First World War Paul Klee moved into the limelight of public notice, and after the Second World War he attracted the attention of the whole western world. Along with this great interest, partly critical in character, partly full of the most positive praise, went naturally a growing curiosity about his life. In the recently published book by Dr. Will Grohman we find a wealth of biographical material and much instructive information, but this most personal confession .of Paul Klee will have a far more compelling effect on the observer. So far as I know, Paul Klee, who was always a fanatic about orderliness, kept a diary from the year 1898, when he was nineteen years old. He gave each chapter a running number and date. However, in the Course of 1,134 numbers Klee skipped several figures in the series. About 1911, my father began to make a clean copy of these very diverse notes in two notebooks, which were to be followed later by two more, final, copies. With great pleasure, and with a full appreciation of my responsibility, I gave my consent in the summer of 1955 to the plan to publish the diaries of my father, Paul Klee. For quite a while many art lovers, who knew of the diary from excerpts that had appeared in several books about my father, had expressed their strong interest in a separate edition of the unabridged text. My first task was to decide whether the many private and personal notes of Klee could be of value to outsiders. After a detailed examination I felt that I could assume this responsibility and undertook a review of the whole text. I should now like to transmit some comments to the reader based on this work: 1. Various parts of the text were written by Klee in Swiss German, the vii

Otherwise it was possible to publish everything without demur. or his astounding assurance in the appraisal of his own personal fate. his humor often edged with sarcasm. After a vigorous dispute our opposing attorneys. 1948. This precaution was necessary in order to avoid subjecting some still living friends of my father's to the glare of publicity. is impressively thrown open to the younger generation in this way: By reading the diaries we are introduced to his life and into the realm of all the artsmusic. Besides notes and some poems. Lily. these I added to the text I edited. We witness in their true sequence the inner growth and the struggle of the young Paul KIee. ix / Preface dation has its headquarters in the. 1940. painting. misspellings. remain with me and my family. the catalogue of the complete artistic works. the four diaries were faithfully guarded by my mother. summer 1956 FELIX KLEE . letters. apart from a rich collection of paintings. it contained an essay on "graphic art. The reproduction rights for the paintings of Paul Klee which are in its possession belong to it. which I had never waived. aphorisms. A struggle with human and with artistic problems. and literature. philosophically humorous picture titles. and obscurities in the text were corrected. 3· In several places proper names were replaced by initials. whether in written dialogue. several passages in the original text of KIee were adapted to what is accepted style at present. Following the usual practice. as well as the literary copyright. the literary remains consisting of theoretical writings. I presented a claim under my copyright. 4· I happened to find several rough drafts of diary entries in my possession. Reading and studying the following four diaries will open another unexpected and marvelous blossom to the friend and observer of KIee's art. they grew out of his formally perfect and strongly pictorial knowledge of the German language. were augmented by the diaries. in the spring of 1953. which was founded in the year 1947. Upon my return from Germany to Bern on November 13. we agreed to accept only the more essential statement in one' version or the other. The Klee-Cesellschaft was dissolved. After the death of my mother. entered into an agreement that was satisfactory to me. and. Apart from his solid musical background. in the form of extracts. some noteworthy variants of the diary text. The possessions and copyrights it had laid claim to were returned to me. travel impressions. We recognize today the source of Klee's distinctive. Mistakes. here amply documented. The encompassing world of Paul Klee. on September 22. Be it the spirit of this first publication to carry us off for ample time to distant worlds. (My father would often cut out pieces from the first version and paste them into the final diary at the proper places. After KIee's death. In a further agreement I granted recognition to the Paul-Klee-Stiftung. which was alluded to at the start." a first version of his Creative Confession. The foun- Bern. Its holdings. Thus we recognize in this document Paul KIee's strong attachment to all the events of daily life. while the reproduction rights for the remaining pictures. I have kept to the original version.Berner Kunstmuseum and is administered by it. on June 29. on this side and beyond.viii / Preface dialect my father always used with the family. 5· In the archives of the Paul-Klee-Stiftung there turned -up a notebook of my father's covered in black oilcloth. and without too much offense to KIee's original intention to keep his diaries secret. and a collection of documents. we observe a literary creativity and mastery marked by true genius. under the respective numbers. the notebooks came into the possession of the newly formed KIee-Gesellschaft. a KIee library. as a part of the whole of and with nature. ) 2. critical remarks. The publisher and the editor have refrained from publishing both versions side by side or one after the other. Rather. 1946. and far surpassing what is ordinarily met with in diaries. as they confront every developing and serious artist. in her apartment in Bern. observations.

In order to realize my aim. I decided-for what seemed to me an important reason-to move back there I XlX . the month of his death. [The following is a translation of Paul Klee's autograph letter. then my parents sent me to the municipal Progymnasium. I had to go abroad (the same would be true of many young Swiss artists today). During my Munich years I made many friendships. After I passed the cantonal examinations and was graduated in the fall of 1898. and my mother was Swiss. despite the risk of such a career. I then entered the Literarschule of the Gymnasium. where on the advice of the Art Academy I went to Knirr's preparatory school. Although every career was open to me by reason of my graduation certificate. and decided to go there. When I started school in the spring of 1886.Trans. After three years of study in Munich. and before long was able to enter the class of Franz Stuck at the \ Academy. My father was a . The letter accompanied his application for Swiss citizenship.A Brief Autobiography \. which was not offered to him until May 1940. That is how I carne to the Bavarian capita}. I decided to study painting and to devote my life to art.] I was born on December 18. including that of the woman who is now my wife. 1879. the city of my youth. in Mlinchenbuchsee. I had concluded my general education. By this time he was in a sanatorium at Ticino and remained a German citizen until he teacher at the Cantonal Teachers' College at Hofwyl. note. Then I had to settle down \ to evaluate what I had learned and to use it for my future development. which even then attracted some notice. To carry out this intention I returned to Bern. Here I practiced drawing and 1 painting. I broadened my experience by a year of travel in Italy (principally in Rome). I attended the first four grades of the local primary school. I felt more strongly drawn to Germany. either to Paris or to Germany. reproduced on the preceding pages. we lived in the Langgasse in Bern. Since she was professionally active in Munich. I ~. . the fruits of my stay there were a number of etchings done between 1903 and 1906..

when I was stationed at Landshut. and thus I taught at the Academy from 1931 to 1933. I welcomed this appointment. I taught there until this institution was moved to Dessau in the year 1926. offered significant prospects of artistic advancement. to be in charge of a painting class. Since my close ties with Bern had never been broken. The political turmoil in Germany affected the fine arts too. and Gersthofen. and my one remaining wish is to be a citizen of this city. At the same time. Except for three years of military service. a center of art and artists at that time. I was now strongly attracted to it again as my real home. In 1920 I was appointed to the faculty of the Bauhaus in Weimar. Since I had by then achieved an international reputation as a painter. in 1930. returning every year to the home of my parents for a summer holiday of 2-3 months. I maintained my residence in Munich until the year 1920. Schleissheim. I felt confident enough to give up my post and make my livelihood by my own creative work.1940 PAUL KLEE (signed) Diary I . I was slowly making a name for myself as an artist. it permitted me to confine my teaching to the field that was genuinely my own. January 7. constricting not only my freedom to teach but the free exercise of my creative talent. I received a call to the Prussian Art Academy at Dusseldorf. 1906).xx / A Brief Autobiography (fall. I did not sever my connection with Bern. The question of where to settle down for this new phase of my life answered itself. Finally. Bern. I have lived here ever since. and Munich.

1879. We then moved to the Kirchenfeld (8 Marienstrasse). I shall preface my childhood memories with the remark that I was sup~ posed to have been born in the schoolhouse at Miinchenbuchsee. I can't remember this flat any more than the preceding. my mother and a friend. On one occasion my mother came home and found her beautiful lamp Her hysterical tears made a deep impression (three years). where I spent the later and less innocent part of my childhood. I was a few months old when my father. like a foreign language (very early memory. all too-common little street called Aarbergergasse.a big and grander street. near Bern.1. while I was I was made to put on underwear that was too long for me. for example. During my last years in the Gymnasium we lived at the family estate on the Obstberg. who in his capacity of teacher of music at Hofwyl Teachers' College. at 26 Hallestrasse. but soon we moved to 32 Hallerstrasse. but only the next one. we settled. in a rather poor. on December 18. From my third to my tenth year. 3 . to three years). so it is said. At first. When grownups were talking. I able to catch individual words out of the swift flow of sentences. was permission to live permanently in Bern. of Childhood in the Eighties) I developed very early an aesthetic sensibility. Endsentences without meaning. When rang I hid to keep the visitor from seeing me in this state (two to still wearing so that even the doorbell three years) . could see the grey flannel with the wavy red trimmings.

the right moment I'd give my protegee a slight push. which called the value of entire evenings into question. we were allowed to sit on the brush and ride back and forth. My grandmother. I didn't believe in God. explaining with an innocent air: "It tumbled." I played this trick more than once. But there was one unfortunate thing that was distinctly unfavorable to me: my sister always had special privileges. and beg to be allowed to take the little darling for a walk. For a long time I trusted my Papa implicitly and regarded his words (Papa can do anything) as pure truth. and in particular the mother. Unhappy moments. And Aunt tears flowed like a quiet brook. When my mother had been at the opera and next day praised the tenor. or perhaps even sooner. Frau Frick.4 / Diary I. The only thing I couldn't bear was the old man's teasing. they consisted of four male (infantile) parts and looked something like a cow's udder (two to three years) . She used a particularly soft kind of toilet-paper on me. Tramps often attacked me in my dreams. lace-trimmed white panties (three to four years) . no costume-that was for but instead. But. 7. pretending to be a good boy. I played tricks on a little girl who was not pretty and who wore braces to correct her crooked legs. I must have gauged her correctly (five or six years) . 12. 15· I imagined that everything adult was naturally different. taught me very early to draw with crayons. but shedding tears appeared to me a custom reserved for adults (five years) . The poor thing would fall. I ran to my mother for protection and complained to her that little devils had peeked in through the window (four years) . this "pf!" was heard occasionally. where the corpse had been kept for a while. 6. without Frau Enger's ever suspecting the truth. with the score in his hands. I would present myself at the high court. That the dead could terrify us. No resemblance could be detected. One day a very old grandmother died in our barracklike . I thought this referred to her oddly shrunken lower lip (six years) . perhaps in the nearby field where potatoes were blooming and june were all over. I had thus learned myself. Even in later life. The dead body of my grandmother made a deep impression on me. Evil spirits that I had drawn (three to four years) suddenly acquired real presence. as very inferior people. We weren't allowed to come close. so-called silk paper! She wouldn't take a bite of her apple. I wasn't the least convinced (five years). 5. I always managed to by claiming to be a tramp myself. 8. My first impressions of the beauty of little girls were very precocious yet extremely intense. 10. On such occasions a room would usually be cleaned. A sudden amused "pfl" interrupted and wounded me. For a long time I shuddered whenever I passed the door leading down to the cellar of the hospital. The little boys claimed that she was now an angel. 5 / Memories of Childhood 1880-1895 apartment house. what I pictured my mind was this: of course. My father once described a spinster as a dry girl. From her stomach sour breath rose periodically (three to four years) . On one occasion. a scenery. I was persuaded of the inferior nature of such a belief. For a while we'd walk peaceably hand in hand. other little boys were always saying. and I'd bring it back in tears to its mother. nor would she put slices of it in her mouth. This ruse always helped me with fellow studen ts (a bout seven years) . At most. In a dream I saw the maid's sexual organs. a man in tails. and when it came time to scour the floor. 11. 'When my parents went out at night the maid took command of the house. no play-acting. thinking I was alone. parrotlike. 9. maybe an ordinary room (six to seven years). I regarded her whole family. 14· From time to time. I indulged in some playful mummery. instead she would first scrape them into a sort of pulp with a penknife. that God was constantly watching us. I was sorry I was not a girl myself so I could wear ravishing. we would start walking single file.

(transplanted it into my own miniature garden. This awakened a certain fear in me. I was in a position to ful~ 23· 19. Richard. each one more beautiful than the other appealed to me. To this day.way of life. A guest watched me as f looked at the picture posters hung on the rear wall. perhaps a friendly flower. Whenever we met unexpectedly my heart quivered. tyrant was no longer content with this and started questioning me about a trumpetlike noise. r r I ~ . and answered this man who was trying to embarrass me t in this world (seven years). I would never have used such words m good I. . were sup-. But later this sugary tone began to n~ltate . hi h fi 1 f. I cast many glances to the left-feeling at home sessed by stallions.h1m. covered with countless In the second year of grammar school I already harbored very special (deep red blossoms. I can hear his way of reiterating his questions: Whatcha [25. was a gentle soul and easy to influence-s-it excited me to play ?n'. Another time she walked backward along he burst l'nto tears Whereupon I relented and comforted him tellmg him r. that. the fat restaurant t moment during class. boy and to. of nausea. I was t she was my sweetheart. with a mixture of vocabulary. I reproached him for his s~nful. with a few interruptions. I. the Kirchenfeld Bndge.I 6 / Diary I l f r 17· I frequently drew at Frick's house-he owner. Her braid was 20. society (seven to eight years). This started the rumor that ~ But when I actually encountered one of t h ese gentry on hiIS ta bl e. Through a gap m the garden fence. I was her favorite playmate. He ] the Suisse romande. I. This didn't keep me from busying myself concurrently with a girl from I 18. . At last he named it: "The yoke" (six to seven years). and I played with the feelings toward Hermine.' t 24· .. A sprightly little thing. But a whole bush grew up. said: "The nasty kitten has sh . to little Two little boys. Her father was a German Swiss and her mother The other one.abundant and loosely bound. . with stubborn silence. ~ 1C at rst stron? YI'. The child had a rather I drew a horse and buggy When it was done he said.'and a big red hat (in Hotelgasse). started to hate the.. she would you have forgotten?" I th~ught he might be . At one of our meetings she wore a pale red dress that God (in whom I didn't believe) would pumsh him..fshe had on a short. in every thing.tIl r. '!i ment. I stole a bulb from a dahlia and doing there. This little lady was beautiful. strong but secret love. Several times I allowed myself to be tempted by this expen.because I understood her once fooled a little boy by meowing. " Heari~g this. the girl who sat next to me. . I still remember a [thought of renouncing my possession by giving it away (eight years). pers~cute . wh-aat??" (seven years).>jf w~ didn't know each other. One of them'. four or five years old (I myself was seven). I could swear toit even today. There were five sisters. fill her wish. For a long time I stayed faithful. The little fellow searched the entire . . Otto Eicher. spoke in lovely cadence. .e I was the. an~ kept ~n un. dark blue velvet dress and a little cap. WI '1 Is' h f di t ib ti th b ks i h1 gi 1 11e wa in c arge 0 IS n u mg e new 00 s in sc 00. Camille.Still we greeted each other briefly and timidly' before witnesses we acted as this weakness as well. I used to look at the Fliegende Blatter there..I was told that tailors sat on the table. It was posed to obey me.s.~••anguage and could even speak a bit of French. until my uncle put an end to the affair by uttering ~. as by a vision become flesh (seven years) ..Jrom Geneva.. and pushed the book toward her. told to the point !( seven to twelve years). and 7 / Memories of Childhood 1880-1895 f l I had feelings of social revulsion. iI beautiful and lived in Felsenau (eight years). Sl~ply ~ecause of R> . But in due course the little •l restaurant for the cat. '. r was my uncle. I' feather (seven years y. and I was barely able to avoid a collision.a.lluding ~o a certain organ pospick glass beads from her lap..showed a preference for a cover of a certain color. it wasn't true. . I hoped for pretty leaves and 21. My fat Uncle Frick was good at imitating the voices of animals. becaus. a supposition that wounded me because she wasn't startled. that time. f 22. stro~gest. "Do you know what I' silly way of continually smiling with her nostrils: lost to the world. But the boy kept up the idea and. with Our feet on the bench. a ir ~. red-brown velvet cap with a pert white stupidity and shrewdness. as we sat on the desks. Deep down I took this for a fib.

en me. Gentle Eugenie in the kitchen. The small. again stressing my innocence. The fat. A fat. The high reeds.' '-. the fattest man in Switzerland. at the time. which confirmed and strengthened the impressions gathered the water with its ticking mechanism. TheHalleys. But If didn't put any high value on the sister's consolation. Downstausl. after an absence! of about three weeks. I pretended to be. The killing of these animals. The catholicism of the region. A horse carriage. Some from'l CJ - ~ . The grownups' fright on these bridges.. Marvelous drawbridges. ". said "Dieu sod bini.. . At least.I [ f I t ~' . but no witness . weref tables topped with polished marble slabs. So It hadn t be. Finally Frau Scheurer at least t became unsure (eight to nine years)'f I 27. The walks in the surrounding countryside. because she 100kedkTHE CAROUSEL.. who had already traveled O~\Vithour parents and us (about six to eight years).ile ~ sliding down the banister I had broken the metal stand o~ the Ol~ lamp with r. The'VSbrutalRussian boy. Now It was Just a matte~ of conslste~tly l denying the crime. try yard. "His sister consoles him.A third stay."~_~~ m __. Swimming in the brook." whlchlLthe sea in ships as large as a house (this I didn't completely believe). second visit took me for the first time to a strange town." The terrible thunderstorm. The man who. One night my mother returned at night from a trip. Swimming with a couple of hefty lady-director.I ftlll"(IJJ{U. my foot. I~:\ _ ~(&.catthe other end.. merry young priest who played "musical chairs" cosmopolitan children. In the restaurant run by my uncle. Wh. °Ilfs\\iaying foot-bridges. Coffee outside in the afternoon. I was fascinated with this pastime. though it was not com~lete.. The sad farewell to this paradise. Suspicion settled on me anyway.8 / Diary I ft 9 / Memories of Childhood 1880-1895 26. the second o~e:~ the first lived on in my mind only through the expression "Marly-skirts.:-. The po. without arcades. we applied to a certain kind of children's clothes we wore. In this labyrinth of lines one could pick out human gro-f tesques and capture them with a pencil. I even went so far as to broach the subject myself with-i. 9 188 unaesthetic (six to eight years). and her homecoming was only celebrated the next.ulrgentlemen near a threshold-like waterfall. Therduring the second.. I clearly recall a stay in Marly. during which was said to contain fleas.\ ~ ~. I [ l 28. out any urging." JjA (TEN YEARS 29. whose surface displayed a maze off petrified layers. I won a victory over Frau Scheurer. near Fribourg. a small river greener than the Aare." read the illustrated ~assage III a poem. I was terrified.r4!S3J ~ _ l I OFAGE) 30. f f~ a fl'. who ran the boardinghouse. The various bowling The sisters Kiienlin. morning (eight years). I had long since gone to bed and was supposed to bel asleep. ! .was pr~sent. A procession'rwhich we found shelter in an aristocratic country house. The squirrel in the wheel.: my "bent for the bizarre" announced itself (nine years) . The flies there. Their French dialect.

One of them was in myJI class. Herr Winter's daughters smelled of groceries. I began to like the raving Leonora. was er's hands. in my uncle's hotel in Beatenberg. These were my first torments of that sort. near the main police station. Every moment she was f{tchee: "You're bad. An inexplicable impulse drove me to go out of the man's way.g 10 / Diary I I [: ~ II/Memories of Childhood 1880-1895 place on board a steamer on the Thunersee.something. I thought I recognized in this ges-~ joined us as a third party. I never said anything about it in our street (nine~ years). How cruel boys are. and when herr:. I had been out your teeth be a beautiful and moving expression of despair? (ten years) . whom I'd now got by. and seventeen. Once I unexpectedly teeth. and just then my mouth was stuffed and I could hardly speak." ~y father lookedunfavormto the deep valley pinched between swelling hills. On another occasion my victory was less easy. and during one of the "fache" periods. he was of the opimon that problematic characters weren't good (eleven to twelve years). sadism and couldn't refrain from giving the lady's tiny bare legs a good 32• When I was ten I went to the opera for the first time. resting as it did on memories."problems" mean? What one didn't understand now would doubtless be 35. until I threw myself on him (only after I had ing Il Trovatore. and I read ~er. and I drew her violently against me and would have covered her with kisses. Shortly before.He witnessed the whole occurrence. But I quickly felt atf. I had a already sated my cunosity about sexual matters in Munich and felt rather 34. home in the pathetic style. The mistake was corrected. he felt as if he had discovered tory school].pon. if she had not fought me off madly. 36. She was like an angel. In the Bible people used to rend their garments: why shouldn't puIIingt'jmet the girl with her aunt in Bern. he had bought '. The decollete was the consequence of a ballet performance at the thea-i 37· A volume of short stories by Wilbrandt fell into my hands. A woman with a belly full of children. when girls wept I thought of pudenda weepmg in unison. But he was inclined t to. ap. A young boy from Bern hands fumbled wildly about her mouth. sitting in front of me masturbating in the shadow of his desk (eleven years) Our last encounter . The impression. My mother was unjust enough to take a moral view of this and scoldf. What did (. however. They were play-k going-over with some thin rods. I didn't know what to make of this point of view. By a stroke of bad luck some pornographic drawings fell into my moth-!>soiled. A favorable moment came.>iuIIy. ousted me ture a desperate grab at her denture. another extremely decol-lno more than relative. I saw the primary school teacher. only reply. "That's your sweetheart!" sank in deeply and painproaching me. me. I suffered much on account of her. During class I saw a fellow studenftwelve years). The first girl I approached with any carnal passion was little nine-yearold Helene from Neuchatel.~ by a written statement that was handed tome together with the job of escort-fi ing the girl (like a policeman) to her right classroom. stra~berry. At least one could satisfy one's curiosity in sex.~}troIIing through the town with Thiessing. A rather plump el~ bent over to pluck a. • . suffered so~ reached the peak of anger) and put an end to the affair. and you could gazet<with speci~l pleasure "Der Ga~t ~om Abendstern. (fourteen to fifteen years ): r l' r'rt ~- " ." A young Russian intruded on my hunting grounds. Afterward. This young lady being very capricious. I even saw the glitter of a few outflungrialtogether. lete. and I was struck by the fact that these people. I met her twice over a stretch of a few weeks during summer vacation. I did this with ther necessary discretion. while I was in the lowest class of the Progymnasium [prepara. even when they are fond of each other (eleven to in order to elude the whole business.ding ~oles of the femal6piworked out at some later date. and although I didn't like her family and even though] all the girls had bad teeth. A cold stare was his much and that they were never calm and seldom gay. 33· One day. His words. I imagined face and genitals to be the corres. ~at my age. I was scared to deathfably on this. a delicate beauty.lsome candy. On the first day of the fourth grade it was discovered that this childR should really have been kept back in the third.

Like Clauren. It pleased me mightily (about twelve years). .12 / Diary I 13 / Memories of Childhood 1880-1895 Secretly. I had long since read "The Man in the Moon" in the volume of Hauff's Tales. not as satire. in other words. which I took literally.

Bern. but all that is past and forgotten. Mainly opera. completely unconscious.. I can still see the fruit-laden plain spreading broadly at feet. I almost feel as if the best now.. unforgettable impression on me with old songs. foggy weather fits this mood. the odor of thyme and the sound of train whistles. Nature does love mel She consoles me and makes promises to em ROTHENBURG ON THE TAUBER.. "Sit down and learn it better!" So it went in the course. to wake up only on the of spring. would be to lie down for a long sleep. The gray book closed. My puberty also produced certain timid relations with my "'UTe cousin D.. autumn of 1897 and'1898.27.. After a time I once again picked up some of sketchbooks and leafed through them. what is Bocklin? It makes me smile. Not always with success. Bern. A somewhat melancholy letter from Basel made me completely ent. As a I stay up too late. 12. DECEMBER 1896 . Bern...15 / Classical High School T he Student at the . remained completely motionless. By chance I saw my mirror-image in fellow on the chair. through the vine-covered hills from up to Tiillingen.. At a subscription concert I heard Brahms' Piano Concerto D minor played by Frenne. An evening of ballet. But today I him.. +2+1898. his legs on chair. and I thought about the man looking out at me. Classical High School 50.". but this doesn't make up for the time lost. Bern. Just now the year's thunderstorm is raging outside. 11. playing with moist hair. as authentic as it was bad. I posed many a quatrain to compensate for my too meager satisfactions... 4. I play solo sonatas Bach: next to them.. Before this I often observed him searchingly. As time passes I become more and more afraid of growing love of music. I took a splendid walk with D.10. A certain admiration was shown for my I felt well. It leaves me completely shattered. In the process I felt something seemed like hope reawaken in me. far into the night.. I sigh. the index finger of one hand inside it.. A fresh wind from the west grazes me. with my relatives.1897.1897. I arrive at school a quarter of an late..".1. Quite likable. 52. Many visits to the theater. A stay in Basel.12. 51. bathed in soft lamplight. his head resting against a white pillow. Dark. Musicl Musicl 53.1898. typical things. La Landi made a deep. 1897. Great was taken to entertain me. I don't understand myself.

1898. and keep watch over my slumbering strength. as a bridge toward I had never wanted to become a violinist. 58. Headache above the right At nine in the evening the temperature is still 41°F. ABOUT 1896 . the deep Gurten forest.1898. 57. Even the variations in the last movement are beginning entrance me. ~~. the meadows bare to the earth. Just as on "that certain summer evening" I thrust my into a swarm of mosquitoes without catching a single one. Brahms' Symphony in E minor stirs me more more deeply. Westward.~~y_. There was a rustling.3. Writing poetry go well either. 3. we read Antigone.19. but magnificent.1898. Sick. And yet the is filled with the hum of a thousand voices. let it drive me wherever it wishes: I have faith! 55. and rubbing in branches. 3. 1. In our circle. I even sang and wished I had a voice.~ ~l. unable to tune violin. It irritated me.5. The westwind is on the land. No more snow. stretch. I felt I had too little the virtuoso's temperament. At home I dabbled a bit with paints. 56. For a long time I looked up the swaying pine tops.1898. inwardly laughing more freely. the forests. a twittering whistle on my lips.16 / Diary I On such days I am invulnerable. The landscape was just as sick. These are the fruits. Feminine impression connected with yearning tistie form. Music. Bern. The woods a deep In the Dahlholzli I lay down on the ground. the wife of a Bundesrat a matron clad in mauve! I wrote a long comic poem about her. Outwardly smiling. Gripping moment on a winter's day. Their silver trunks. and read from Waldmeiser's Brautfahrt.' FROM THE MATHEMATICS NOTEBOOK. 3. for this. where everybody attends voluntarily. northward.6. and behind them. Bern.31. cracking. There were also some ladies present.<~~/ . a song in my soul. with a warm blowing.. One time I lay in the Elfenau and was refreshed by birches. Bern. 1.1898. I cast myself on the bed.

Old trees. The fact that the results are no good is still no proof of ungodly uescentss In such a "classical" environment there is no reality to lean on. If I may say so! Pure are these two hands. Ever onward.23-1898. like breathing one's sleep. A touch of frivolity in these things._.17-1898. I took myself under my own protection again. Warmth. My Motion stirs an impulse to act in me. Assurance. Anno 1898. In the pond clouds were mirrored. Far out into the land. if my eyes had allowed it. Drive without substance. 61. sleep in the daytime. For future painter this is not quite the right method. 3. And how honestly I yawn! 62.13-1898. a harlot dispensing solace for a botched job: but studious doesn't please her at all. My infa tion switches with every soubrette at the Opera. into a springtime. 3. Recognized that the erotic energy in me was polygamous. yearning to wander away. Plan of a book of lyrical songs. Fl and Altdorf with my father and Herr Pfyffer from Saint Imier. Now I'll work at night. but destroyed them all. We . Secret pulsation of the still snow.. faith. especially in mathematics.. When I was about fourteen I took a beautiful trip to Lucerne. I wrote a few short stories. theless.18 / Diary I In the Ege1gasse my emotion reached its climax. Contempt for chastity: Chaste are these four walls. before a single song had 6. Exceedingly high m tains with no base. Now back home in good spirits.. 59. Last night I felt so well disposed I would have worked till completed. _111. humor. What ment does an elemental drive find in pallid humanism?: One is refe exclusively to the clouds. Lamplight. 60. an impulse to experience first. The muse. The impression of a controlled passion. Little eroticpoems.""" .

. Beforehand had drunk copiously of the wine from the lake region. and took the train to Bellinzona. Train I began to paint in Munich. Here we forced to remain two days.on foot to Leukerbad. I made the acquaintance of a Catholic priest we visited the church in Ligerz. At first I was a child. Spent the night in a shepherd's hut. Gotthard. per Oschinenalp. also able to reckon (until about my eleventh or twelfth year). trip. The fine stained-glass windows held our attention. Finally we returned to Lugano and took the train back home. Backward glance. As usual I had faith in my lucky and at the examination I obtained four points more than the minimum. V. III. I recovered thoroughly from my painful which was much more sensible. and took the train to Bern. Belalp. bach. Riederalp.. I now felt like a martyr. to Vitznau. Kienthal. in the summer of 1898. Only what was forbidden hospiz: II. Crirnselpass Glacier. and to manage as best we On the first clear morning we walked down to Bundalp. Airolo. Shortly before my graduation finals. making many excursions that time. had no schoolbooks with me. it's rather difficult to achieve the exact minimum. because of the fog. The days were ideally ful. Hohtiirli (hut of the Bliimlisalp club). After having barely passed my final gishorn. spent the night there. some flowers called "crown imperial. but my When about fifteen. Then came the time when I wore my school cap Brienzersee by boat. which didn't open until evening.. landed in Meiringen. On the third day. Then I wrote nice essays and When I was about twelve or thirteen I took a trip with my aunts. When about seventeen I traveled with Siegerist to Spiez and thence vva. and 011 the . Gemmispass-Kandersteg. Instead I spent a short while alone on Saint Peter Island in the (my first trip with my sketchbook and pencils). Lower Oschinenalp.20 / Diary I 21 / Classical High School to Coschenen. IV. On the next day. all. where we remained about ten days. and it also inrisks. I would gladly have left school before the next to the last year. On foot to Frutigen. 1. a student trip with Professor Tobler. and the pious man become the best of companions. Rodifiesso. After two or three days we moved to their country estate in Mamette. Then I deleft Beatenberg for Interlaken by carriage in the morning. Ber wishes prevented it.l<''''''Ri to Kandersteg. and I worked very hard. thence to Alpnach and back on my head and only buttoned the lowest button of my coat by way of the Briinig Pass. On the island I was attracted especially by the lower around the once isolated Rabbit Island. Train to SpiezBern. on foot to Hotel Drawings and writing. which had a handsome view. to Lugano. then walked to. to Leuk. my work school had sunk to a low point. Here we stayed with a relative Pfyffer's. Andermatt. Top of Mount Eggishorn.rj a passion for girls. by carriage to Fiesch. I was forbidden to take part in the c+r-r-te n+e. Oschinensee and back to Kandersteg. Then I began to consider myself a landscapist and cursed humanback to Lucerne and to Bern by way of Langnau. grew there. down to Brig. then crossed the "/""IAn.

basic the garden gate. In this state of waiting and hoping. We came back night train and arrived home at nine in the morning. iary IV . Frau Marc had had other l. Section Gabelsbergerhof. That decided to clean up things a bit and emptied a number of drawers. disturbing my wife in her sleep.VlllfJ'"l'Y that far. shrill and long. the bell rang. people kept and out of our apartment to offer condolences to the widow. but could not indulge in ing for hypothetical. The telegram called me to Frankfurt. On the next morning I left for Frankfurt. Moreover. It was sent by his wife from Bonn. At last I thought of her and went to bed. the way it rings at night when an gram is delivered. I packed my bag and went to the District on March 11tho Now I have a new position in life: I am Infantry Reservist Klee. On the following days more detailed information arrived from the well as Marc's last two letters to his wife. She had stayed with a family named Hirschfeld. With a sense of impending disaster. on her journey there and breathe the same air. where staying with the widow of August Macke. and the catastrophe occurred. Ominous urge. I was ready to look for causes with him. and address is: Recruits' Depot Landshut. She could not bear to be alone. the telegram announcing his struck me like lightning.324 / Diary III cases. On the same day I received slip informing me that I would be mustered in on March i ith. Prepared in this way. Frau Marc was there at tion. I went-I member.

Noncommissioned officers try to cheer us up. Night is beginning to fall when at last we into our quarters. There isn't a better place anyAt about 4:30. We are told to on the sidewalk. . There.LANDSHUT 1916 Recruits' Depot Landshut. From a schoolhouse. People celebrating in the along the route. After we had been assembled there according to inwritten on blackboards. Jokes. we receive permission to sleep in town. We were told that we going to Landshut.a good deal of of roll takcs place. At least the was splendid. arrived in Landshut. according to our height. Section Capels- on the morning of March i i th. A halt in the Heissgarten. headache (the last for a long time). Our passports are taken from us. The sections are up. we had to stand around and wait for quite A kindly major wished us luck on our journey. on each one a loaf of bread. I went with my suitcase to the Command barracks (District Command.~---. a large room in an inn. two plates. Upon reaching our we are divided. and beer. In the morning we are uyvo" .. Very hungry. A few days later. t about one in the afternoon. . No dinner. A special at the station. The AV'fJU'cl' apologizes in complicated language about the poor quarters. Tears. A dark with rows of straw sacks. Close relatives. and escorted us to the railroad station. "Conyourself lucky to be coming to our town. And yet I had tried to get permission to remain in "'_"'_'" I found it humiliating (it was the last day for a long time on which I supposed to have an opinion about anything). the sound of the ironic laughter troops at the windows. some noncommissioned officers arrived. into five detachments. Again four by four. all while standing in the street. During the trip. t night at the inn amidst smoke. Then a most sensational night. Narrow alleys between the straw pallets."""" by a harsh "On your feetl" beginning one of the most memorable . I snap up a few consoling words. Munich I). with a bowling alley. guns. and and fork.-.-o-. A sergeant with a good head takes charge of us.. Daughters.

times Marc's name comes to mind. The first mental relaxation in a long time. Friday. Delightful. Soon I'll able to live in town. . for the first time. loaded down with gear. in this way no one will be my back. rhe. dragging stuff the mud. Downing a beer without scruple! evening off. having holding onto everything. we march Then. to our to bathe-to exchange the boots. very brave and stiff. Marched to breakfast. The fat blond pig that dishes out the His unerring sureness. melancholy of the prisoner. the n~ncommissioned officer. dress rehearsal. 968. Great apprehension of encountering a superior in' Unfo:tunately we are n~t allowed to go to Munich next Sunday. second-hand goods. The cuisine isn't French. The scraping of the heels. ~hls may make me somewhat thoughtful. no mail from home. We are one of oldest classes called in. In short. I don't know how to use the phone.17. A batch of letters from Munich.. What a novelty this hunger and thirst is. this situation was forced me. Are they worried? I have never been so free of worries. Finally. IS stiffer there. Monday.16. IS a good place for such a rest cure..328 / Diary IV Sunday. going for chow.. painfully pack-saddled with pieces of uniform. convulsively. On the train the soldiers escorting our calmed us With the same comment. The play rvr-o'rn tcec be a fine one. and the chances of being sent to the front are greater. but had acquired in their place a head of lead. On Saturdays one can take the train to Munich. alone. with my own boots. but apart from that I can't complain. "Herr von Klee. undefinable leather objects. half military. Lily wants to try to get me ferred back to Munich. 3. half civilian. I am struck and I see something . running the gauntlet. An uncure.uu'''. Someone named is sai~ to have had the luck to be assigned to a Reserve Regiment in ". The food plentiful. we are leftovers. 3. already been survived. I ask you to try to maintain your military bearing in postcards. a fruitless operation. Today. It isn't easy the first But after a few drills out in the open. His name is Buhl. your wife is on the telephone. unfortunately.Mail at last! What this means! Only the tone is too Felix praises Sophie's talent for cooking. for Lily's sake. The tone is leisurely. . How do they feel wonder. I was lucky. But the . Doing what you are ordered to at all difficult. Under different circumstances the city would be 101l1_llaUL1l'6 At the Glaspalast we're outfitted. Talks particularly to the one-year enlisted men. I admy Wife to come to Landshut for the time being.tonc l~ rather funny. Dull Sunday aft~rnoon. it would have pleasure. At our quarters. I suffered from the melancholy caused by sore tonight. He an. awakened at six.· 967. On Saturday I found some enjoyment in the hike. Ordered around in impossible boots. drill. . it really does get easier. A new lieutenant assigned to us today. Sir. feeling as if I had my feet.u. jokes about my heavy correspondWith my Wife. four by the Prantlgarten. My smudgy uniform of the reasons. Gron. Had a little sleep. 3.•• ' show myself cooperative at the beginning. convicts exhibited for the curiosity of strollers. more the result of than anything else. 329 / March 1916 to December 1918 3. 3. At first nauseated at the sight Then we marched through the old town. Only those le~s abysses called boots. I'll stay in Landshut. but it tastes all right and enough of it.12. She says you've to come home. As it was. The captain is called Jungwirt. boots. praises this cam? as one of the best. and the mood won't go to pieces too quickly." My answer: "Sorry.13. Today we took our rifles along on our hike. In Munich we might be put together with young Here. I put on my own agam and almost fell down when I took the first step. 3.d ~eems easy-going. ~ tJO'''·f. But coming Saturday is doubtful because of the lack of field-gray uniforms. A noncom named Groner asks my wife feels very lonely. Again terribly nauseated by these straps.14." I knew then that he read my cards.

The weather is cooler.24. He was taken away from farm cleaning woman. To the Heissgarten. Sunday. I tell my family to after all. Today. Always the same patriotic Speeches one could and would make oneself if one had to listen to a few for Saturday/Sunday. tely I h~ve ~ fever and a mouth infection.19. Then. 3. sunny. A fine man. that is. Lily to bring my civilian clothes. The doctor noticed that a fever. She will ask for him to be sent back.. One workers. At 5:30. no reaction. We are photographed. quickly grabbed our rifles. Tann. even in his jester's Torn away from the earth.21. country. marksma~ship and the manual of 3. Gas. 3. to clean my boots. back to the Heissga spection of equipment. into the hilly region south of Landshut. my academic education is of some use to me. possibly.20. There. Vacagamst smallpox. Lieutenant Buhl plays the part of His Excellency. performance. A heavy cold I got the before. '331 / March 1916 to December . when I turn toward him him a few questions. The one-year men receive their gray uniforms today at noon. attaches himself to me. Instruction about how to behave during and. Consequence: I permy duties With a . and now I am allowed to stay in my nice room at 12/ll Gabels- I~ . sha~elessly allowed to go to Munich in indescribable fatigues. now I've got it easy. A hero. When will he sell the first in. a walk in the rain. The are. real Bavarian by the first lieutenant. We shall make tea and eat cake. right next to the camp. o~her~lse I d be put to bed. Every day something new. light drill. In the and Felix came. Everything accomplished Without particular effort. somewhat isolated in this of Munich rascals. 3. has thus been put in a most distressing tion. only prob!em IS ~larching in these holes that pass as boots. Drill from 7:30 until 11 o'clock. a perfect vagabond type with a rascal's laugh. but part of it has stuck in my larynx. But 1 don't go and see ooctor. with glimpses of the lovely town. Marched off at last at 7: 30. 3-27· "My dear little boy. waited. We agree on a "fulzgerl" [fifty-pfennig few times I let the man from Dachau have some bread whereupon he without asking me. Now he stands about here to stiffen his knees and glue his hands to his sides. The captain on a docile horse. For time III many years. etc. Inspection by the Commanding General v.. a war widow. BIoesch wanted to look me up in Goltz asks for black-and-white things. Went out at 9 Dress rehearsal. A fever at mght. comes to me' to take care of my room. although my uniform looks like that of a convict. we have stopped breathing dust. As usual. Then. d. so that we may spend four or five happy together as usual. The sun is burning." S rna 11h opes-I 1918 '11 u- that my box of watercolors be sent to me 3·22. 975.lghtened up. We (in boots!) quite a distance.fever. terrain drill. In the great cleaning up.18. 3-23· Filled out the pass. as the weather br. this Sunday. not given leave. Pleasant hours. The swarthy fellow from Dachau. Went to church in convict's garb. Acquired two blisters and bruises on my rifle) . Light rain sprinkles us and the dusty road. 974. steering through the fog like a ship.330 / Diary N I have rented a room. Actually. five marks per week. 973. detachment after detacnment. but it will be very useful when my family visits 972. 3. There was no trickery about the cancellation of the first it was shame at the absence of the gray uniforms. address. his eyes shine. with a fine view. I don't need a nice room few hours of liberty. after a long then back to our quarters. passed off quickly. Got up at 5 o'clock. "grabbed" fast.

a new sensation. I continue to receive my pay . To make the newly formed band blew at the head of our column. Really nauseating. Field ma~euvers-we are to detect enemy snipers in the distance.27. the Martin School. assem quarters. A great fear keeps me from Rea~ Strindberg's To Damascus. This is what is to the doctor. Slept more that night. Then I shall want to be quite again. Played music valiantly. What .332 / Diary N 333 / March 1916 to December bergerstrasse. Men with less than 104 rlp(1rpf'<rr go out into the corridor again and line up three by three. . And will certainly turn out to be Somemn~cuous. But the blood had been w~shed off! We would have got accustomed to that too. 3. Farewell.~eIssued our helmets.. Recovery? Sale. What a marvelous infirmary! The air! Fresh air comes in exactly one windowpane. To: . Actually this long. to have our tenlpe[Fl. I am notified of my admission to my squad. The swellings in my mouth . then you may play and be happy.. where the ~'_""" quired to carry back the coffee bucket. Plenty of time. Then to the infirmary. Taken from the dead and pressed on our heads. . they are taken to the . The captain poked me . all sorts of orders. At last we our goal. we execute a column-right maneuver. because otherwise he might have sent me to the d whole business of going to the doctor. and it is nine when beginshis tour of inspection through the infirmary. Shortly after. this meant a great deal of standing around with occasional thrown in..y hIghe~ again. A stiff punishment could be no this. No Only civilians are in a hurry.'-"'-" v" fours by a private from the sanitary corps. But to be well even here . Thursday matters become serious again. I have reason to feel contented: I am let off with three days' retire to my quarters (which is more quickly said than done. and walk on the sidewalk for a while. a public celebration. and fire away. All sorts of talks. exhaustIOn sets m. To get out of the way of marching detachment. plenty of money. 3. I nrr)tp(. Those with high temperatures go with the doctor into the room and are examined first. I am over i~. Revaccmated against smallpox. or maybe it's really to sick man to converse with someone standing in the courtyard? three by three. it turned out a 1040 fever. a. Out drilling with helmet for the first time. do your work first. All my energy is back. 1918 3·28. Sounds serious. First eveni~Ig without fever. taken. breathe the stuffy air for a while.30..tPrl energetically. Heavy heads. In the afternoon nfle apart for the first time.. No loss of Tomorrow sick leave will yield to the routine again. Our warlike appearance is accentuated. Snow fell early in the morning. impressive.VVV Y'( the 1040 fever too. and sometimes rewarding. 3·31. The temperature shghtl. we lie down to have our temperatures taken.. The usual tune. . One of them. to p~ay in the orchestra of the local choral society: Haydn's Creation. Then an assembly of the individual barracks units in garten. ' a real soldier's affliction. He was not at all interested in the fection. Tout out to see us. My leave granted. he on our bellies. And stand we are led by a private first class to the Heissgarten. a. From time to time I play the violin. The the 104 degrees is discovered and held. dnll. We are doctor' we have been on our feet since seven. the lCll. Instructive. 't froze. he imagined at first that it was caused by my teeth. because it is broken. First.n. fan out. A slight temperature (100 degrees) impelled the me three days of sick leave." 981. It was necessary too. since all formalities must be gone through yet) and only leave them twice a my two bowls. and everyone understands.f~er endless fiddling. At times something happens in the but only. Funny. I only show up for meals. During the night drill staged a little comedy and had us shot at on the railroad track' one fell. con~ected with a kind of ending of the thing. put on our coats because it is still March. until we are "'a. and for the first time in a week are healing. at Wa~den's fo~ two hundred and sixty marks.

he forgets in no time the orders received from the lieutenant vice-sergeant-major. blond little man. And we stand and shiver like leaves. there was an draft on the drill ground. enjoy ourselves. criticizes. rosy Jew Karlsen because a rich man was caught. No until now suspects how incapable this blond chap will prove himself on dril1ground.13. Announced my absence at the orchestra rehearsal of Creation count of a long hike. For the first time in ages. And yet. we hadn't managed to do away with it once and for all. so that our ears cringe. In the evening. hiked an hour toward Salzdorf. A neat man with a slight squint that look bad. dealt marksmanship and military conduct. stood out in the sun. rifle practice. Waited for a. . mouse face of the little fellow. Weather suddenly took a change for the worse. In the morning. Until then we had circumvented the foolish regulation. we formed firing lines in. His name is Schuster. On Palm Sunday we have to s sweating-in ceremony. the course. to the bone. 4. 4. A distracted. picked up five marks. 4. often about his experiences on the front in intelligent. and the was so very cold! Almost an hour on our bellies. How Corporal Weidllaughed at the fat. 987. given by a little Corporal named Huber. Today we horrible piece of trash called "Flag Song.particularly heavy downThen out to look at a trench. Hundred-pound slippers made of yellow loam. during which one doesn't move at all. a teacher of mathematics at the Anna School. We listen. then another half standing and kneeling in the open. Tomorrow is marksmanship day. He dreams away and. sluggish man. the forest and crawled the wet moss like salamanders. brothers got wet today. Went to the office. I think mostly coming leave for the Easter holidays. Whither? How Wrote Kubin about the works that Marc had left behind.7. The climax came when he urged us to act timid in front of superiors: "They're made of flesh too. then again he can be quite tough . Still half in Munich. Solemn oath-taking shindig. about the front. the circus band comes to fetch us. Today. walked a distance through arcades just like those in Bern. they're all of flesh!" d of Kaspar. We were to be there one hour marching time. 990. He must had the most frightful experiences at the front.16. The sergeant scrutinizes." And besides. marched until night had fallen. Under sharp wind and icy showers. at racks. I am living with apes. not unpleasant fashion. The wind makes us freeze more than it dries us. Everybody go home. . He can't find his way out of the real way into this game played a green meadow. First we all read the text together. 4-10. and I froze terribly. A sharp glance the sun and new showers. Quick-aiming drill (triangular Then three shots with blank cartridges. then less. 988. at every opportunity. took aim lying down. I first shot twelve. Heard a beautiful mass with music. one hundred and 4. 4-12. followed instruction without having to against sleep. 15.14." music-hall stuff. and it. we are all brothers. we are trained by a delicate. 4.334 / Diary IV from behind with the point of his sword: "What are you aiming at. Slim consolation for what we endured. weapon training and silly stuff. Pritzlmeier. but learn nothing. During the break. What is the talk of even the hrio'htpot lieutenant compared to such homespun "discoursing. He was amazed at my correct answer and moved away embarrassed. Even the officers. Monday mood. meters. Radiant day. Corporal Schuster 335 / March 1916 to December 1918 on leave. brings . Completely lost in his thoughts. I realize this seeing them take this unadultera bish with such seriousness. Gave several hundred salutes on the way the old town. cleaned my equipment a bit. Then we sing it. Singing instructions are no longer given by the clear-voiced but by Corporal Bruckner. we run around like animals about to be fed. then he sings the first fearfully off-key. 989. 4-11.

slept well. Now that it's over. "'" 337 / March 1916 to December 1918 quarters with envy. The old slave-dance. I guess things will be all right. At noon. Instruction. I would quit the game." From there we went back to base singing. Medical snecticn. he spoke a great deal about Spying the sergeant (this is always the chief job of a look-out). we stationed two guards out in the wind. we good terms again and chatted. Had a look at the one-year enlistment blank. up the pillar of a bridge and down again on the other side. 995. Ate and slept not quite in my normal state. which made him a bit tough at ll!l''-O.336 / Diary IV Visit from Lily and Felix. At six Heissgarten. 4. with a heart attack. Should I drag special sights. At six we marched in the direction of Moosburg. I shall probably miss the 5: 14 train. a hike in the hills less than an hour. two more came with the lieutenant's order we return to our field positions at 8: 10. a bit much of a lady. I must say it went off all right. and set bivouac in a favorably located farmhouse. d. 994. Climb aboard cattle cars benches. as the poor marksmen are forced to do? We leave very early on Thursday morning by special train. Good trip. Even world wars end. Gun-cleaning. six 0' clock in the Heissgarten. This morning.19. Some drilling. ·5· Life today was easier because the weather was cooler. One had tasted again. lying at two hundred free. We kept watch not far Corporal Schuster had a toothache. Then a trip to Wiessee for a few days. then lay about in the forest. I shot eleven. we continue to receive our regular pay. Just returned from a rainy and windy night drill. "unless express counterorders ed us. then a week of bliss (Easter leave). no fare to pay. ·3· A seventeen-mile hike with a full load. we get one mark and a half for expenses Also. it may actually body some good. but shall certainly catch the express train at 8:22 or the local 36. In the forest our first timid attempts to dig in.l/' after he had found a protected shelter in the roomy woodshed. vaccination. 995a. 5·4· I sat yesterday with a few select companions at a nearby inn The New World.17. Our work is now rendered slightly harder by the warm weather and load of equipment.18. Today we had to carry our packs. painfully. painfully! the first sign of damage. Second marskmanship drill. then eight. 5·1. Then the hike home! In the heat. yesterday-what a grueling that was! A dozen men in our column collapsed. changed my Klotzlmiillerstrasse 16. it was biting cold out in the mud-bowl. They say that one oughtn't to shoot so well. Later. a cross-bar. We march off to the train. In the afternoon rned the glorious song "When the Soldiers March Through Town" n hour. slogging in the field. thirty-three pfennigs a A few days in Munich. and it wasn't so bad Going back after the furlough was quite painful. To make up. with marvelous weather. Lily dissatisfied with the room. really more like calisthenics. Instead of doors. took under an hour coming back. was called to the bureau. Couldn't help it. We shall see. 4. toward the enemy. and go on for a few more days. At the last minute. This afternoon we shall have a long march with new gear on our backs. 4. exhibition. 24· On Saturday afternoon. I saw one of them lying side of the road. We shall therefore not see each other until night. Then the gala for the opening of the . A splendid garden and a chance to get a couple of and some rolls. Then we had visits from fellows as tall as trees belonging to the first detachment who aUllll1lCUIj 4-27. The landscape behind Heiligenblut . there we had strenuous drill conducted by the captain. lULllll. the morning. Besides. This afternoon we hiked out to the most distant of the an hour and a quarter's walk with our full load on our backs. Extremely drafty. as usual. The Easter leave began for me in high spirits. As it is.

we'll have Pentecost leave. and a new batch of recruits will Promoted a class. We finally ate at three o'clock.11. We had no packs to carry.. I drag myself for hours. He grants me leave from the first to the night of the . . The final rehearsal of The Creation is on Saturday afternoon the performance on Sunday at five o'clock. Safely survived the first combat exercise. The captain sent me a pass from the fifth to the eighth my having applied for it..30. and it a delightful walk through the dusking forest. Now. 5. er not sultry. not requiring too much exertion on of the weather. in the Dominican Church the violin in the orchestra) . . the exercises. 5. half pleased. but the remedy for both was avail- 5. At a distance of four hundred yards my slight nearsightedness to tell a bit. He begs f?r new material to sell J~. did mentary things in drill period. No hiking in the afternoon. a night exercise. Unfortunately. and it turned very sultry.19. In the evening we to KIausenberg for a night exercise. Out on the infantry driIlground. 5. but the captain is reluctant to grant any the thirty-first of May. At the annoying dust has vanished. everything today seemed as if it had been dropped wizard. soon the rain will settle in.. but I have long since forwhat those ailments are like. Tomorrow vaccination takes place at 11 in the morning.. Furlough. owing to the antics of the past few days. loaded down. Arrived safely. from the fifth to the eighth. to company formation. the field canteen was a very amusing sight. . while our got some extra polishing up.15. but very hot. We then had to go through some posture cises. again hiked about seven miles. 5. Other drills went all haywire.9. not sultry. evening.18. the drill was very easy throughout the day. in the bright sun.12. You complain and have headaches and are pale. It had stopped raining. had painful time of it.25. Routine drill on the infantry drillgrounds. which went off relatively well. Take it easy: this time. May day. This morning. Walden informs me that the watercolors that I had have been returned. Marksmanship competition.338 / Diary IV is superb. I didn't thing. . some frantic crowding. In retrospect. But should I leave on the 5: 14 train-which is not likely-I shall not be able to main exit but shall have to get out way over near the Bayerstrasse and. in which must take part. 5. during the morning. At five in the morning we had to hike off to the cavalry There we took up our places for inspection in the expectation of His lency's arrival. had varied sorts of sore spots. I must be back again. We had a half-hour's rest in the forest. From six o'clock till about twelve.8." net hundred and sixty marks. because it is over. of deepest bliss. Hunger and thirst were great. As a result. From one to three o'clock I had a fine sleep in my bed. appear near the Kommandantur in the great corridor. it was in a kindergarten. He gave me an apple to my hungry stomach. Other sections had their turn before us.G"OOLU'IL 339 / March 1916 to December 1918 has asked leave for me. This morning. Spent four and ahalf hours on duty in the . 6. then an attack directed by flag signals. I shall be home on the evening of the thirty-first or first. Weather cooler. I am still delighted with the opera I am very much for repeating this from time to time. 5.vv forest. 5. Unfortunately. wf. so we can probably take the one o'clock train to Munich. He has sold "The Anatomy of Venus. we'll be divided into companies. couldn't get rid of my it really was quite manageable. On the rifle range I Schinnerer and-talked to him at great length. I talked myself out of it and was allowed not to lug special sights. From the ninth thirteenth. The captain wanted to know what the vertiiswould be like. awakened by pouring rain. half appreBut soon the weather cleared again. experienced and suffered a long hike. . 5. for we are about to have maneuvers. did its part. I assumed that the pass for Pente- . Now a short two hours' in bed.

The familiar way into town. Requested pass for Thurs. The answer came: "Return at once. Vize Pritzlmeier.. Lily puts Felix to and when I return. but all belong to groups trained same time. After the watch I slept so well in my bed that for the first it was the alarm clock that woke me. In that case. a night exercise is planned. tor. and I hope to convince the company sergeant tomorrow at nine-thirty. I thought it unnecessary to return to camp on the night eighth. The phenomenon of the captain's handing out an pass was incredible! 1000a. In the Heissgarten I was able to have a word in private with a tached to the administration bureau. behind which I stood At night I paced up and down the sidewalk with my rifle on my and listened to the quarter-hours tolling.. A half a day has passed. Two to four in the after- . Lily and Felix must on Saturday evening. Fraulein Weidmuller makes tea for them. my other things hang nicely all together. the 1: 21." At six. Then. shot six. so that I won't be able to them up. "cleaning-and-sewing hour. the pass didn't arrive. After all. hike with sandbag on our back. now infirmary). eleven. Made out my Pentecost sent me off. As an misfortune. 6. when I stepped off the train. In the afternoon. I'll send a telegram. No furlough. which pleased me. Vize and a company sergeant I didn't know. The I came to Landshut. With mentality. Handed in two passes. 7-4. At our company exercise. I fine humor and full of fighting spirit. A new monotony is added to the old routine. who was dusting there. 6. or at least tried to. I shall take the ing express at 10:40. No leave. in order to leave again with the convoy on the ninth. To bed at On duty: inspection by the first lieutenant who rode along everywith the captain. My fJUJ.Letter from Probst." 999. The whole camp really did steam off this morning. but was put to shame by my defense and by my appealing to the authority of Captain Jungwirt.340 / Diary IV cost (June ninth to thirteenth) would follow automatically. it is quite amusing. 1000.LI' thundered at me. my sentinel's post. I felt like a green recruit and sent a by wire. UnfortuLily didn't once open the gate of the infirmary. of pork-brawn jelly for thirty pfennig is worth noting. the gayer I felt.JIllU. At night. Took care of correspondwith Osthaus-Friess-Piper. But the ninth. Eighteen minutes of firing at a distance of one hundred and fifty round target. Only the small ones (fourth and fifth section) were Mitterwehr. until the sweat dripped. How terribly funny the whole sad mess is. I'll be free until Sunday noon. called LJ<lXC. not sentence me. On Saturday we rest again. 7·1. has remained. A first lieutenant is in charge of us.JJ·'JJJlJ"'. because I got the first watch. So let's not get excited! If I am really lucky.27.'L~IJ' the time being shall be the loss of a day. Today. an old one and a new one. Had a good trip two cultivated "gentlemen. My exception is therefore an irrefutable argument ( argument). sent a devoted greeting to Lily.. I expect my family on Wednesday evening. The ultimate e infernally sad existence of the infantryman. but left this to the regular captain." Later had beer and pork-brawn jelly with and Dr. we were three hundred. (Martin School. There was something really disgraceful about these platoon now looks very trim. an affair this guard duty isl Changing of the guard! And yet I surit quite well. I find her comfortably settled. sleep at vaLla\-.9· Landshut. Company drill was conducted by a very likeable and able second lieutenant named 341 / March 1916 to December 1918 F~'·""'VU-'"''U'''is called No Wimmer. long great fun. if not. What happened was that a substitute captain. The noncommissioned officers saved for me. The thinks there will be no trouble. We been mixed in with the new recruits. he's had his fun by making me jump on the come back.

for much that I parin belonged also to him. eight to ten at night. In the afternoon. he loves more warmly. Second Reserve Infantry Regiment. So it is unlikely that I'll still see the two of today. Sergeant Feueregger. waiting. and late at night efore dawn. Serious combat maneuvers.20. Greetings to all. a great many thoughts about Marc and his art to me. frequent watches instead of night exercises and long hikes. Today. transfer ceremony.. Talk.(Field) -Cornpany. Regiment. Perhaps some day back on the time spent here as a rosy period. eight to ten forenoon. "My dearest Lily. Wait. Train trip. wait. ' and the issuing of uniforms is just getting under way very slowly.342 / Diary IV 343 / March 1916 to December 1918 MUNICH 1916 7. Then to the Max Classical High School. is more demonstrative. then to the Wirt inn. Transferred to Munich. the long hike was made somewhat easier by pleasant The evening and night hikes were more exhausting. but are allowed to drill and learn here Later. full of high-flown phrases: "Be glad that you go off on leave. Second Reserve. First Replacement. He to animals as if they were human. 1 noon. I have the impression that the war is entering its last phase. and we usually don't leave the area. Turk ing. Be patient till I comel My quarters are convenient roomy. rooaa. It may therefore take quite before my turn comes. He raises them to his level. we are in the gym of HIgh School. First Replacement Com. to get one lost in thought. Duty wasn't really stiffer than in Landshut. I must at once confess shall also be telling what kind of person I am. Because of all the waiting time. We are here. as a "one-year man.'' WITHOUTTITLE. at the Max School. Walking in circles around a couple of ammunition storehouses lust t~e kind of thing. Report. midsummer flora made things unusually colorful. He . for a bath. going only at about three 0' clock. 1916. like peasants. During the day mag. one of several occasions. a conceited first lieutenant. is more human. The long hikes harder. Major a ridiculous . two to four in the morning. it has now got to be . And is :till the same great confusion as always. a firmament unfolded before me that lured my soul into I tell what kind of person Franz Marc is.20. amusll~gl'y haughty. My impression is that a change is pending (transfer). wait. For the time being. Sleeping in town is a privilege for which one has to apply to the commander. The potshots more on target._t11CT1 perhaps. While I was standing guard over the munitions depot in Frottmaning. An gency training period is supposed to start in Freising on the 1'""On1'·. 7. Gradually a certain bonhomie developed. . ~e others are quartered at the Grosse Wirt." I shall go there. Permission to sleep at granted only after making the grade. anging my Landshut rags for gray semi-rags.

When I asked for permission to spend the nights at home. imitates creation. The Fau. ofhenvy to irn of the If t God and if I am In armony I only try to relate myse 0 '. is a kind of passionate humanity. The bourgeois empIre. in that case. "Why. treasure. beco. My instinctive way of firing a g~I1 particularly got on his He had drilling a bit too much in his blood. a serious man. His noble sensuousness WI I S not a People to him. I recall his srm'1e wh en m y eye overlooked some the first d Art is like Creation: it holds good on the last ay as on . e ac a. He was still a real member of the human ralce." people then say about me. ith me' but I don't fancy that my brothers are not also l!1 harmony w . and for all the whirling forces. My love nt and religious. In my work I do not belong to but am a cosmic point of reference. Faustian is alien to me. There is no sensuous relationship.344 / Diary IV does not begin by dissolving himself. did he dier ). beasts. hi con good being still a common goo d . he called favor which could only be granted after I had proved myself. Instead of letting in peace. I often anxiously ver. he wante men t . but never by an officer. once the ferment wasdo~e~. •• 345 / March 1916 to December 1918 my art probably lacks. b~~d universe' (I am not saying that he might nO. VV. d to change . and the belief in them is all ves creatively in me. . It is inexcusable for an educated man to say such to another. ~ut entirely from a human to rouse the world to .:1a~cP the bond with the earth takes precedence over t~e. whence I state a priori formulas for men. ts .tian element in him. And neither did God especially bother about current Our company leader is a lieutenant called Deyerl.ming merelyda part si~nd t lace himself on the same level with plants an stone ~: . The Changing times oppressed him. I place myself at a remote starting of creation. h b No lik th t f the dead or of t e un om. The possibilities are too endless. My fire is more I e a 0 ith it warmth attracted he found more love.fhat he would not come back simplicity.seeme d worthy. The earth-idea gives way to the world-idea. t . I don't descend to or raise them to myself. Forever q . everyone -. I radiate warmth? Coolness?? There is no talk of such things when ve got beyond white heat. He was puzzled about fired so well one time and missed the target the next. and the elements. the unredeemed. after a couple of weeks. . to all earthly. d that he would return to about his path. And since not too many people reach that will be touched by me. e~hich was the last flict that bound him.thave ~evelope In e of the latter and yet: Why. but pedantic. I possess. toward the end. was a rar man some day. he fussed around with the way I shouldered my rifle and my position. I tend rather to dissolve into the whole of and am then on a footing of brotherliness to my neighbor. My earthly eye is too farand sees through and beyond the most beautiful things. plants. not even between myself and the many. Neither orthodoxies nor heresies there. their business. he even see the most beautiful things. The fact that the helmet is bothersome when one fires is a fact noticed by every private.some gran VISIOn. d th e was a remnan But he himself was still a human bel~g an. A thousand quessubside as if they had been solved.7 One of Marc's traits was a feminine urgdeh~ g~~ d him with Th f t th t not everyone folIowe im e . d "h " But lacking the calm assurance it true? USIng the wor I eresr'd that he might be a completely Often. I don't love and every sort of creature with an earthly warmth. e emen creature.

I know nothing ~~'J~' •. that had a good return trip. my name was ca. Did I have anything to say? No! Then came the 1l1<.ucuv. one-year men in the air corps? He shrugged his shoulders ~1I. 347 / March 1916 to December 1918 SCHLEISSHEIM 1916 1012. We were going to get work. be put in the air corps?" "Forgive me.v•• ~..· LI_L'-""'V\.'r< nr". UI:'~" to the workshop com pany. Here receive further instructions at the Tiirkenschule.UlyllGlJ-lu.-----0 one of the innumerable combat exercises. but amusing. "Don't you want to fly?" "Who. I sensed something important. At once. we presented ourselves not simply as painters. I'll tell you that we put in the Now go and see the doctor to find out whether you tor's office a few more men were waiting. The company's chief clerk became with me. These were my impressions from my lowly estate. The yard... Sir. though new. a horrible.346 / Diary IV The other lieutenant. LUIUUUll. that would enable our art to the test. Gradually the ribbing (though well intentIoned) sergeant diminished.I~JUIJl\.uU. Introduced himself as Wildermann. •• Passport division. I~-~ And so I was no longer an infantry man.UI'"'<11 I ready to give up my one-year engagement? In reply. This was already a degree worse than m~l'r'. Klee. When we arrived in Schleissheim. and that the . The peasants liked him. Gradually I am getting to be popular with the ll\..''NE enjoy my new post when suddenly. UIlII. The sergeant spirits. Only the company pleased. Three-week leave.. "'. v felt safe. the work there. r. take care of yourselfl" clerk smiled as he shook my hand. The friendly." He ~llUUIl\.. . "ferocious" TL_ ---"ber of the Artists' Association. Report at once to the battalion medical officer.'. and small. and' sent us around. there had ~been decorum in the insentry led us silently to the barracks.)IIl'Ulll~. me?" "Yes. " my thanks for your last card from Switzerof you. provincial village Landshut.:III" were accustomed to. Serzeant Poschenrieder. ~ v~•. » bye.. Now to our quarters: the church warehouse. and before that geant.t..lI~lC.. When I returned to the sergeant I had already lJI. 1011. then get ready. I was put on watch whenever a long hike or a planned. to Munich! Unfortunately I uty from Wednesday to Thursday. degraded a felt shako greeted us. A sergeant (from the recruits' depot) took charge of -~'''b -. it I was in no hurry at all about my marksmanship. I had long since been spending the nights at home and was '-''"'E.llC gratulated me: "Be glad that you're getting out of Now go and eat right away.lIl1a. First l'allllC..v. I now realized that I God-forsaken. a handsome businessman from not very serious. but as This caused some shaking of heads. etc. of the dormitory recognized in me a wild.. on LIlt.l~.L'{~ sistant. he said. One of them I was Klee. After all. a building which. An be fatalistic about it. just so you will to our sections.. Prole_ voll. What next? First there the trip with myself in charge (there were four of us): Wildermann workers.~llLl y.

beginning at noon. still constantly braced against army trickery.10. Until I've been a virtuous recruit. but they had put my name on the list out the yard. 1 have some oil and a warm 11. It certainly isn't his fault.13.12. At four 6: 30 p. Not in my room before six o'clock.lF.m. All day Sunday one is restricted to rooms in the barracks and to the canteen. Left Laim at 2 a. then off to rollcall.l~st their lives day before yesterday. walked.13..m. old numbers on airplanes. 11. 1 dream about journey to the Balkans. FrRST TRANSPORT 1020. 1 show enthusiasm.5. Reached Aschaffenburg at 9:30 p. At least 1 shall have had experience of the crashed plane. But the for compensation will come again. "Guard duty on Sunday. had to help clean up the wrecked airplane in two fl~ers . "Friday from four to five. Today was a splendid day. See you Saturday! The train leaves from here. And so there's a bad boy in the family. It will probably be Friday. Otherwise 1 am well. "The captain will grant me leave after the slip has been by the supervisor at the yard. it is no use. 1021. fire drill. What the consequences will be.m. Badly damaged motor. 11.." ra. 1 told Poschenrieder that 1 am often called on to Section Two.m. or 7: 30 at 1016. 10. 1 asked the sergeant about He said he was sorry about it. to Milv found three airplanes there almost loaded. had the impression that the Saxon sneaking around in my vicinity. a hard time sneaking away. so I'll soon be sent on a transport trip again. He promises to stand by me. 11..lllll. I have started the lithograph for Goltz. wrapped in a traveling blanket. to pay a visit. which will make the Saxon foreman Tonight (Saturday) 1 will work a little. 349 / March 1916 to December 1918 1018. Varnished two wooden fuselages. 1 shall have back at 9 a. At 10 p. really l11spmng work. Hope to see you again next day. 11. loaded with food. As if free will still existed! wise to attract attention with small requests. 10.m. 10. Stayed there until 3:45 a." 1019. left by train for Laim. 1 was kept outdoors for an hour and a taking care of trucks while the motors were being unloaded. it was felt in the that 1 ought to be on fire guard this Sunday. painted on new ones in front with the templates. To liven up my monotonous routine.m.m. since 1 am leaving tonight from the freight station at But the business is amusing. either seven at the station.\. Should 1 have to stand guard on shall have to be back here at 9 a.m. 1 have been placed in of a transport to Cologne. While at work. "Arrived safely. 1 have been entrusted with airfor Fea Seven. a locomotive engineer and a painter. Breakfasted in Treuchtlingen. 1 ask for a leave twice in the same week. Beginning of November. seized a favorable moment and escaped from the column. Gained a chunk of time thereby. 1 sit beside the engineer and often think of Felix of the fun he would have here." 1017. Today. very well at the station. 1 was given a fine chunk of bacon and money for the 10. Rumor of a drill spread at four o'clock.." (Mpnday).348 / Diary IV "In spite of your special delivery letter and telegram. so. "Since 1 had had leave. therefore.2." .14. "I send you a warm greeting. we'll see. since he is still hesitating between be. Result: 1 have ceased being a virtuous recruit.26. Not bad one's health anyway. In the aftercoffee and buns in Wiirzburg. All 1 got for it was a leave.CV. Spent this time the floor of the guard room. 1 only regret that I'll have to miss your visit Tuesday. gentle and obedient.23.

Had coffee for breakfast. The transport won't begin until tonight. Fortunately I took along plenty of food. SECOND TRANSPORT To Fighter Squadron 5 with two airplanes. Left Aschaffenburg in the morning. I once again spend a civilized night in a nice hotel Tomorrow I'll be on my own. where I had rested a ple of hours in the waiting room of the station. cars 37090 Hanover and Konigsberg.27. The mountains. the little bar of a Zeppelin. after having led a gypsy's life since last Sunday. Mainz.. Taken there and brought back special trolley car. including rifle. The baggage car is relatively comfortable. for no one can predict exactly when it will on. Monday. A kind of drunkenness still surrounds me. 1026. dinner again at the station. artistic element outweighs all the others. polished to a ness. My better preparations come in handy to me. Stroll over the bridges. At 4:30 p. front of it. Here. I set up camp and had an excellent sleep until Treuchtlingen. On arriving in Milbertshofen.m. In the morning." Cathedral. staging area.350 / Diary IV 1024. On to Schleissheim at 6:30. maneuvering gracefully.llUVU. Then felt fresh. then went to the Hotel Kelner Hof. I l1~"lC. A unique mixture of and culture. When I was finally free. the the terraces.. walked to LJl. (art dealings). Particularly impressed by it last night! The affluence in main streets. Museum: Bosch. 11.. The zollern bridge. Unfortunately I have money with me. Heiligenbrtickenl Reached . it was already day evening. It fantastic scherzo mixing the devilish and the luminous. since there was no on in the office. left for Frankfurt at 8 . Took a wonderful walk in the evening. 3054/16 3053/16 with spare parts. Changed trains again. Cologne is sensational. Here the baggage car . perhaps it will make away easier.. then to the Deutsche Ring. where I am still to have a comfortable lunch and tea. two postcards. In Laim we wait some more. that more-than-lifesize museum piece.18.m.. The train will not leave until 9 p. totally dark and heavily guarded.m. Lo Delivered airplanes for 249 (Fea Seven). Planes B. I find that the are not yet ready to leave. Perhaps I can e for a moment from Milbertshofen to catchup on a few things. then went to the Association.16.-"C. until 9:30 p. At 8 a. truly a festival of evil.F.W. speared by one of the I had never seen any city put on such a nocturnal spectacle. . completely equipped as if I were leaving the front. the cathedral.\1 away to save my Sunday leave. If I could only stay for a Bingen as an artist! Tonight we'll be in Cologne.30. met a very pleasant company having tea: Hausmann and Dr. Cologne-Nippes. my bags with the stationmaster and trot off home. had my hair cut. except the twenty-five marks for my expenses. We have to wait until 3: 30 e must remain on the train. Arrived in Frankfurt-am-Main at night. This time I have trouble getting out of Munich. "Crucifixion" by the Master of the "Life of Mary. of Spessart again very intense. My mission is accomplished. Walked home by way of Milberts. . My spirits notably better than at the construction yard. The river. ghel. Strolled along Rhine. To Grossgerau.U'. those people in uniform! The mad railroad station.but didn't drop them in the mailbox until Partenstein . 11. via Cologne-Cereon. Cologne-Gereon. The sharp of four wily searchlights. a very elegant place on the Rhine. 11. eight a. I'm off. Mainz had made a great impression on me. Far above the towers of the cathedral. 11. at Bingen.m. In Munich a.m. the river. and large. I am stuck in spend the nigI# on a wooden bench in the waiting room. 1025. made and had breakfast. Wiirzburg. At 5 a.m. as a courtesy to Wildermann. when train 1755 is at last. Cologne-Eifeltor.15. took the trolley from there to Cathedral Square.m. Slept magnificently at the hotel.28. The line to closed as the result of a minor accident. the harbor installations. left for Munich via Wtirzburg and Ntirnberg. But there. had a look at his sculptures on the children's playground. pastry shop. idyllic welcome with 351 / March 1916 to December 1918 for the night at the Hippodrom.17. L at the Red Cross by the main railroad station.