Funny Pick-Up Lines

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

What winks and screws like a tiger? (Wink when she doesn't know ;-)

If I could rewrite the alphabet, I would put U and I together.

Do you know the difference between a blow job and a big mac? No! You wanna' have lunch tomorrow?

Kiss me if I am wrong, but don't I know you?

Hi, my name is {name}, how do you like me so far?

The only thing your eyes haven't told me is your name.

If I were to ask you for sex, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

As you walk by, turn around and say: Excuse me; did you just touch my ass? No. Damn!

I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much have you been drinking?

You with those curves, and me with no brakes...

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

Baby, you must be a broom, because you just swept me off my feet.

Baby, you're so sweet, you put Hershey's outta business.

Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

There's a party at your ankles... why don't you invite your pants down?

If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

Wow! Are those real?

If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

Most people like to watch the (i.e. World Cup, Stanley Cup, Superbowl, NBA playoffs, etc..) cuz it only happens once a year/every 4 years, but I'd rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone like you only happens once in a lifetime.

Did it hurt? (What?) When you fell from heaven ... Did it hurt?

Girl, you must be tired 'cause you've been running through my mind all day!

Cold out isn't it? (staring at breasts)

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) 'Cause I could see myself in your pants.

Excuse me, miss, do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

If I let you suck on my tongue would you be grateful?

True, there are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to catch and mount back at my place.

Nice Shoes. Wanna have sex?

Cindy G.

Ask: Are you from Tennessee? (When she says no) I thought you were... because you are the ten I see

Kiss me if I am wrong, but you want to screw me, don't you?

Kiss me if I'm wrong, but isn't your name Pocahontas?

Hey babe, how about a pizza and some sex? [Slap] HEY! What's wrong, you don't like pizza?

I'm going to have sex with you tonight no matter what so you might as well be there.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Can I flirt with you?

I admit, I'm kind of a geek by day ... But I'm a sex machine by night!

You have been very naughty! Go to my room!

Let's do breakfast tomorrow. Should I call you or nudge you?

There must be something wrong with my eyes; I can't take them off you.

Do you have a map? I just keep on getting lost in your eyes.

Excuse me, but I DO think it's time we met.

Shall we talk or continue flirting from a distance?

Is it cold in here, or are you just happy to see me.

Do you sleep on your stomach? No. Can I?

Be unique and different, say yes.

You make me so nervous and flustered; I've completely forgotten my standard pick-up line.

I lost my phone number. Can I borrow yours?

What is a slutty girl like you doing in a classy place like this? OOPS! I mean, what is nice girl like you doing in a dump like this? (Phew)

Hi, my name's {name}. Remember it; you'll be screaming it later tonight!

My name is {name}, but you can call me anything at all. Just call me.

He: Excuse me, want to dance? She: No. He: Maybe you didn't hear me... I said you look really fat in those pants!

He: Hey Baby ... Wanna dance? She: No. He: Oh, C'mon! Lower you're standards a little. I did...

He: Hey, Stop! She: What? He: You're undressing me with your eyes... I know you're doing it. STOP!

Lines that you may get slapped from
1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?

2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag.

3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!

4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?

5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your face.

6. You are so fine that I'd eat your sh*t just to see where it came from.

7. My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can't hold it in.

8. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go f*ck.

9. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!

10. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas, could I meet you between the holidays?

11. You remind me of a championship bass, I don't know whether to mount you or eat you!

12. Your parents must be retarded, because you are special.

13. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?

14. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?

15. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open, and I’ll give you the meat.

16. Guy: "Would you like to dance?" Girl: "I don't care for this song and surely wouldn't dance with you." Guy: "I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me, I said you look fat in those pants"

17. I'm new in town, could I have directions to your house.

18. F*ck me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?

19. I love every bone in your body - especially mine.

20. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

21. Hey baby, what's your sign? Caution, slippery when wet, dangerous curves ahead, yield?

22. I can't find my puppy; can you help me find him? I think he went into this motel room.

23. Wanna play Pearl Harbor?....Its a game where I lay back while you blow the hell out of me.

24. Your body's name must be Visa, because it's everywhere I want to be.

25. Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

26. I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

26. That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.

28. I'd like to screw your brains out, but it appears that someone beat me to it.

29. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

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