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When sparks fly between two people, we're quick to say they have "chemistry." Not everyone realizes that such couples literally have do have chemistry--it's what's behind those sweaty palms, the jumpy stomach, thumping heart, and nervous jitters. Chemistry also contributes to that warm, comfortable feeling you get from being with a longtime partner. The most well-known love-related chemical is phenylethylamine -- or "PEA" -- a naturally occurring trace ammine in the brain. PEA is a natural amphetamine, like the drug, and can cause similar stimulation. This natural upper contributes to that kick-up-your-heels, on-top-of-the-world feeling that attraction can bring, and gives you the energy to stay up all night talking to a new love. Sometimes this energy translates into the tripleespresso jitters; other times it simply keeps you wide-eyed and alert long past the time when you'd usually be yawning. "I always get excited about somebody who can keep me up late at night," says Basanth Of Chennai. "I really value my sleep." Feeling Dopey You can also get a non-romantic dose of PEA from high-intensity activities like skydiving, or by eating chocolate. According to Chocolate.org, chocolate contains small amounts of our love drug, PEA. That might be why some people use chocolate as "comfort food," getting the same warm, relaxed feeling from chocolate as others do from Mom's chicken soup. One of the substances released by PEA is the neurochemical dopamine. A recent study done at Emory University shows that female voles (small rodents) choose their mates in response to dopamine being released in their brains. When injected with dopamine in a male vole's presence, the female will pick him out of a crowd later. Our love food, chocolate, also elevates levels of dopamine in the brain. Another euphoria-inducing chemical in your brain, norepinephrine, stimulates the production of adrenaline and makes your blood pressure soar when near the person you're attracted to. That's why you might experience a pounding heart or sweaty palms when you see someone you've got the hots for.
a nerve that threads through your whole body. It transports signals from your brain to your organs. In the end. yet it feels great and I want to have that feeling more often. personality. making the stomach do flip-flops. and of course. It feels like tension building. So don't try to reproduce that lovin' feeling in a basement chemistry lab--but do try your best to enjoy the natural highs that life gives you ." Everyone knows that jumpy. and scores of other variables help decide who turns your head and who leaves you cold.S. sort of sick feeling in your stomach. even hard-core scientists agree that chemistry isn't everything. while we call it this way: "That weird feeling falls somewhere between my belly button and my heart. Some people call it a "hollow" feeling. lighting the loins on fire. Culture. News and World Report article explains the importance of the vagus. circumstances. "setting the heart pounding.What The Brain Tells the Body How do our emotions get translated into physical sensations? A U." When The Honeymoon's Over The idea that the "honeymoon period" of a relationship is fueled by different brain chemistry than what is present during the mellower years that come later might explain why some people can't seem to hold longterm relationships: they prefer the revving-up affects of brain amphetamines to the pain-killing effects of endorphins.
Your list should be as long as possible. Make a careful list of recreational interests your partner enjoys. You probably can find a good half-dozen activities you could enjoy together. for ways to create a lasting bond. Broaden your sphere of interest Don't allow yourselves to lose out on a great relationship because you can't find something enjoyable to do together. But your schedule is already jam-packed. and you're not even sure how you'll squeeze in any more activities. Your next task is to schedule these activities into your recreational time together Make time All the good intentions you can muster will never replace actually doing the activity together. And the first step toward making that happen is setting aside the time. Relationship happiness is highly correlated with the amount of time a couple spends together. change is never easy. get your calendars out and find a slot of time the two of you can call your own. You're going to long for time together. . circle those activities you might find somewhat pleasurable. Brace yourself for change As couples learn to cultivate shared activities. After all. Too many relationships fizzle because couples don't use their creative energies to build enjoyable moments of fun and relaxation together. it can be a bit jolting. Here's some advice that has helped countless couples get to know each other better and feel for each other more strongly. Next. These are good skills to bring into a marriage.How to do something you both enjoy Sometime soon you're going to meet someone special. So.
. but a little change can do you good. and in your relationship. But don't allow that to stand in the way of trying to do something new in your life. with the one you love. It's especially difficult when it hits you at an emotional level. Finding a shared activity can be a challenge for some couples.Change is hard.
it is very important to create a presence for yourself in your partner's life to provide a stable reality that you are a couple and that you are a part of one another. Rather than having to imagine how you looked when you laughed or smiled. This lack of physical presence can make the whole relationship seem like an illusion. even for a short time Return all e-mails at the earliest opportunity If you are going out of town or are otherwise going to be unable to respond.Handling The Absence One of the most difficult parts of a long distance or online relationship is handling the fact that you are not physically there with your partner. Talk regularly through voice chat or via the telephone • Your voice adds that touch of reality to the relationship and makes you more than just text on a screen Video Chat if possible or at least send pictures regularly • • Can you imagine how differently you would feel if you could actually see your partner when you talk to them? You can bet that they would feel the same. your relatives. Make them feel like they are an integral part of your life. find out as much as you can about them too Be there when needed . they could actually see it. Listed below are some ideas and resources to help you achieve this Communication • • • • Don't fall out of touch. your friends. With this in mind. At the same time. Keep all online dates. It nullify's any of those doubts you have about whether they will like the way you look. let your partner know as soon as possible so they don't think something is wrong or start to have doubts. your job etc. Get to know as much as you can about each other • Tell your partner about your day to day life.
that this relationship is real and there is no way that you are going to let a little thing like distance get in your way. Love Love is the backbone of any relationship. listen to what they say and make them feel special and important to you. Continually reinforce the fact that you are there. This is especially true of a long distance relationship as there are already inherent doubts and this will just reinforce those doubts. postcards and gifts Create a personalized love craft and send it to them Presence • Make sure you have a presence in your partner's life. those doubts will not have a chance to creep in. stories and love letters Send them care packages.• • One of the worst mistakes you can make in any relationship is to not be there for your partner when they need you. If you do the things listed above. As long as the other partner feels that you completely and unconditionally love them. It is up to you to make sure they know exactly how you feel about them. Seek your partner's advice. Some ideas include: • • • Reinforce your affection with poems. you will create a good presence in your relationship .
they're great! And you can draw stick figures and smiles on them. and whatever else you want to write on them. so every morning. behind every picture you would scribble . that they're not Shakespeare. Use them to say stuff like. and draw little hearts on them.. easy. I saw this in a movie the other day.. Hugs.. that they suck at poetry. and you can make your own balloon notes with them! Blow up some balloons and write words like Love. Buy some large cookies.. Of course. you don't have to write a whole sonnet! Food. and you can pick up the cookies and icing next time you're shopping. Or to expand on that idea. the type that comes in a tube with the spout so you can write words with.and fun! All it takes is to see this. you can put small candy bars in some of the balloons and then scatter the balloons all over her house. Total time will be less than half an hour. Here are some romantic tips: Use those Post-It notes from 3M. Now. and I thought it was a great idea! Draw little faces on eggs in the fridge with a marker.. isn't it? Just one or two lines."I miss you so much.but writing love notes is actually really easy. she'll remember it! You know those old Christmas cards that have been piling up the past few years? Put them to use! Cut out the relevant pictures. get some wire and thread and you can make a mobile to hang from the ceiling with. put the cookies in a nice Tupperware and you can both share these "love" cookies together! Use some whiteboard markers. go to the supermarket and buy some cake icing. Honey. get then in a variety of colors.. hurry back". : ( " See.Creative Ways To Say "ILU" Many people think they can't write love letters... To make it more fun. you can spell out the words I Love You on the eggs.. or "I feel so sad when you're not around. this is the fun part! If you have time.
I would be a lonely island. try putting it into the fridge and see when she notices it! I've given you a head start on getting your imagination going. "Without you. or at least a rubber band. your letter in a bottle is ready! Just for fun. I Love you" Then use a lighter and burn the edges of the paper so it looks like an old parchment. insert the paper into the bottle with the string hanging out. Write a short love note on a nice piece of paper. Get a needle and poke some thread through the paper. so let us know by writing in to us! . Viola. Something like. Roll it up and tie it with a ribbon. the sky is the limit when it comes to expressing your love! If you have any ideas that have worked in the past. so she can pull the paper out.something romantic so she'll keep it! Get an old beer bottle or soft drink bottle.
eg.Just Check Up before marriage… Compatibility is far. One may be associated with the “Madras School Of Social Work” and one may prefer “Krishnamuti Foundation”. his / her feelings about godliness. It may really help avoid a situation called the FLASHPOINT ! Views on Religion Talk about the traditions of those religions . talk / think about your value and belief systems (non-religious). In this article are some points that you must clarify. If you practice different religions. you'll have to do some compromising somewhere. Like for eg. the other wants one. you're probably already close to a compromise. far beyond sun-signs. when? How many? (eg. More so. do you expect the other to join you at services once you're married? (Someone said this once.and if so to what extent? If yes to kids. It about emotions. and it was shocking since one didn't understand why someone would think their partner would automatically 'switch' his practices just because he was married.or the lack of a religious upbringing. then ideas about child rearing? Family (non-kids) What are your relationships to each of your families and how would you expect that to change / stay the same upon marriage? Your potential kids' relationships to your extended families (if you want kids)? . If one wants 2 and the other 3. Absolutely no adoption? Definitely adoption? Consider adoption? Artificial means to become pregnant .) Same goes if you both don't want them? How certain are you of that? What would you consider doing if you couldn't have them without 'help'? Having a settled decision may not be necessary. One wants 10. feelings and ethics that you stand for and can compromise on. Children Do you want them? If so. but an idea . at least heart-of-heart if not with each other.) If neither of you practices any specific religion nor has had a religious upbringing.
how is each of you willing to compromise to support the other in their career? . Many people have certain ideas of 'wife / husband' while the expectations and relationship of 'girlfriend / boyfriend' may be much different. General lifestyle issues Do you envision married life in a big rambling home in the country and your partner envisions a flat in the city? Such things probably would have already come up. it's amazing how people have a preconceived notion of 'married life' which may be different from the life they're living now.. but they assume things will become a certain way..or any of the ranges in between? Pre-conceived notions What it means to be a 'wife / husband'. It's important to discuss such things to make sure you're on the same page! Travel? Does one of you love it and the other hates it? How will you compromise? Jobs / careers Will you be a dual career couple? If so.Money management How do each of you manage your money? What do you see doing differently when married? Joint finances? Separate? . however.
riding bicycles or going for walks. and now you know exactly what to do and what not to do.Seven Habits of Highly Successful Couples Keeping intimate relationship alive requires strength..GIVE EACH OTHER PLEASURE Your goal in the relationship is to give each other pleasure. If you are willing to put forth the effort to keep your relationship alive. Simple. Snow White has to be willing to do more than sing with the bluebirds. not to cause pain. for just a single day. motivation..CREATE LOVE AND FRIENDSHIP RITUALS We fall in love through rituals of connection and intimacy such as romantic dinners. Swap lists.. this process reverses. isn't it? However. exchanging gifts. when the relationship becomes more settled (particularly after we have children). We are guilty of basing our romantic beliefs on fairytales. "Is what I'm about to do or say going to cause my partner pain or pleasure?" To help you. Over time. To hold on to Prince Charming. . When we fall in love our relationship becomes the center point of our life. with anything else becoming secondary. each of you should make two lists: one for all the things your partner does that hurt you. talking every night on the telephone. then developing the following seven habits will help you become one of those highly successful couples HABIT #1 . by asking yourself the question. The problem with happily ever after is there's more to ever after than meets the eye. and a little something called love. No more guessing HABIT #2 . long conversations. become consciously aware of everything you do.. and another for all that you'd like your partner to do to give you pleasure.
no TV. HABIT #4 . no answered doors. our friends .. however it must be an investment in your relationship. If there are any solutions that you can mutually agree upon to assist with improvements for the future. as a changeover from the working week into the weekend. The remedy to routine (the main cause of dull relationships) is connection and intimacy rituals. Just the two of you and your relationship. take two hours together when you put a "do not disturb" sign on your busy life. in which you ask each other "what DID work for you today?" This is the opportunity to share about all the goodness that you've experienced during the day. HABIT #3 . as well as acknowledge each other (and others) for the support and love you have received. EVERY NIGHT before you go to sleep.WORK TOGETHER TO RESOLVE CONFLICT AND CRISIS . One of our connection rituals is a process called "Clearing" that creates this atmosphere of safety and acceptance. our hobbies.CREATE A SAFE SPACE FOR OPEN AND HONEST SHARING Create a sense of safety and acceptance that allows each of you to express your feelings. expectations and disappointments. every Saturday evening. no e-mails. When both of you are complete.The children. No phones. our work. problems. Do what you will with the time. For example. you raise the issue.. nothing.take the center stage and the relationship being relegated to the background tending only to receive our attention in times of crisis. ask each other "what DID NOT work for you today?" Give each other a chance to share about all the things that went "wrong" during the day (whether connected to the relationship or not). initiate a second round.
do you stop and rub their shoulder.The problem with the way most couples argue is that they attempt to find solutions before allowing each other the chance to say what they need to say. RATHER THAN AWAY When you pass your lover during the course of a day. you should focus on speaking from your heart (emotional.. Make sure to find ways to be physically and emotionally close to each other. such as doing things together that you both enjoy. listen to music together. which symbolizes that he or she has the floor. give them a kiss on the cheek." (in case it is still necessary) continue through to the process of problem solving. Take walks together." Turning toward each other means making each other your number one priority. Only after each person has been fully "heard. from acceptance and compassion).or do you just walk on by? This is the meaning of "turning toward" as opposed to "turning away. When listening.e. Here's how it can be made to work in the practice: One person holds an object in their hand. While one person has the floor. each one of you feels you have been fully heard. The "Council" process ensures that before you engage in solution talk. HABIT #5 . you are encouraged to listen from your heart (i. and whisper something nice in their ear .SCHEDULE TIME FOR LOVE Want to improve your sex life? Here's one of the most profound pieces of advice: SCHEDULE IT! . drink coffee together after dinner.TURN TOWARD EACH OTHER. instinctive as opposed to mental).. HABIT #6 . called the "Talking Piece". When speaking. spontaneous. the other person is allowed only to listen without interruption.
When you practice these seven habits intentionally and consistently.. fulfilling and long-lasting relationship. Plan in the morning to make love that night. We all have had times when we were waiting and waiting and. By the time evening rolls around you'll both feel like you've engaged in foreplay all day long . you'll re-create every day a loving. what else would you like to do together in the coming 40 years? We all need meaning in our lives. Call each other all day long with reminders. . ideas and seductive suggestions. This is why couples who choose a path of personal-growth or spirituality together...CREATE MEANING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP Think about it. but it's not always practical.Doesn't sound very romantic. waiting. Waiting for that "magic moment" when you're both "in the mood" may be romantic. You will enrich your relationship by sharing meaningful experiences with each other. but it works. have great source of meaning in their lives. It's easy . besides having fun. The ultimate in meaning is to share a common philosophy of life and life purpose..give it a try.and you'll be ready for an exciting night! HABIT #7 .
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