You fvlean I'mNotLazs,sfupi orCrazy?!
A Self-Help for Adults Book withAttention Oeficit Disorder

Foreword LarryB. Silver,M. D. by

New York

A FiresideBook Publishedby Simon & Schuster London Toronto sydney Tokyo


FIRESIDE Rockefeller Center 1230 Avenue of the Americas New York, NY 10020 Copyright O 1993 by Kate Kelly and P.ggy Ramundo All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. First FiresideEdition 1996 FrRrslor and colophon are registeredtrademarksof Simon & SchusterInc. Designedby Tony Magliano Manufactured in the United Statesof America 5 7 9 1 0 8 6

Dara Cataloging'in-Publication Library of Congress Kelly, Kate. book for adultswith a You mean I'm not lazy, stupid or crazy?!: self-help attention deficit disorder/KateKelly and PeggyRamundo. p' cm. and index' Includes bibliographical references 1. Attention-delicit disorderin adults-Popular works. I. Ramundo, Peggy. Il. Title. 94-40538 RC394.A85K45 1995 CIP 616.85'89-dc20

rsBN0-684-80116-7 (Pbk) rsBN0.684-81531-1

This bookis dedicated the memory Fred Clwison,my to of dearfriend and,s,ometimes parent. With hisunfailing sunogate cornpassion sense humor, Fred enriched hives all and of the of who knew him. He wiII be missed, neqter but forgotten. I(ote Kelly

Thls bookis dedicated my family: to To Rob-for l<eeping everything togetlwr I could" so write it To Alison-fo, fiuingmy life with your bomlless love and joy To Jeremy-for struggling cowrageously yow ADD so with and teaching so muchaboutmine me Peggy Ramlznldo

Table Confents Of


Foreword by Larry B. Silver, M.D, Introduction: ADD Isn't Just For Kids Anymore!


Chapter I
From the Porch to the Printed Page: A Reader's Guide to Understanding This Book How To ReadThis Book . Who Should ReadThis Book o Diagnosis Isn't a Do-lt-Yourself Enterprise

Chapter 2
Understanding the Disorder That Makes Us Feel Lazy, Stupid or Crazy About Definitions and Descriptionso The Big Three: Inattenrion, Impulsivity,Hyperactivity o But Why? . How Common Is Itl o Not Justfor BoysAnymore

Chapter 3
The Impact of Growing Up with ADD o o AgesandStages The Cycleof Disapproval Abilities and Disabilities



CoNrENrs -

Chapter 4
How Are We Different? . One Channel Operation o Locking In/Blocking Out o I Hate Details o DefectiveFilter r TouchyTouchability r Emotional o Roller Coasters IntenseINTENSITY . The IDP Dynamic o Bottomless of Needs o Supersonic Pit Brains r Activity Levels in Flux o Thrill Seekerso InrracrableTime Tyrant . Space o Struggles Action/Inaction Imbalanceo ReactionTime Irregu. Miniscule Mental Fuel Tanks . Undependable larity Memory/ o Leaming Systems ImpairedSocialSkills' Control Centers


Chapter 5
The Not So Fine Art of Coping Bad is Better Than Stupid . fh. perfectionisro The Blamer o \Uho Cares?o Manipulation . Withdrawal o Chip On the Shouldero Thke Me or LeaveMe o It Ain't So o Helplessness o Controller o Peter Pan Syndrome o SpaceCadet . The Party Animal o EmotionalIncontinence. The Blabber. The Bulldozer


Chapter 6
I KNOW. . .I TIIINK. . .I HA\ZE ADD:WIIAI DO I DO NO\ry? The Savvy Mental Health Consumer o The \7hy and How of the DiagnosticEvaluation o After the Diagnosis-You Are \forth All the \fork It \7i11Take to Recover o Self-Discoveryand the Grief Process: Shock of Recognition;Anger-Why Me?;DenialNot Me!; Bargaining-lt Can All Be Fixed;Depression-Reality Sinks In; Acceprance-Outof the Depths!

| 06

Chapter ?


About Balance, Toyotas,@ Porschesp Circus High Wires, and the Twelve Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous Finely Tuned and In Need of SensitiveHandling . How-To'sof Achieving Balance:The 12 Step Framework. A one Rat Study: o Analyzing Strengthsand lTeaknesses Constructing a PersonalizedSafetyNet for Your High Wire Act



Chapter 8
Interfacing In Action: Groups and Friendships The Art and Scienceof Communication o Hazard:SocialSlippery Running Spots o Act I, Group Interactions:Mental Gymnastics; . Survival Tips: Out of Gas;CruiseControls Set on Mega-Speed 'lTorking Group Interactionso Act II, One to One Encounters: At Not Working So Hard, NegativeSelf-Talk . SurvivalTips: Friendshipso Effective Communication


9 Chapter


Interfacing in Action: Getting Along on the Job A Variation on the Theme of Inter{acingo Act III, Getting Along Office Politics,Written and At \7ork: Complex Interrelationships, o SurvivalTips:On the Job . High Tech ComUnwritten Rules 'lUork Related Out of State! o munication,or Don't Fax Yourself o Stress: Noise, Doorsand Telephones Foot in Mouth Disease o 'What Do You Want to Do \7hen You Grow Up? o Are You Failing On the Job or Is YourJob Failing You?

chaptero l


Interfacing In Action: In The Dating Game and The Family o High StakeRelationships Act IV The Dating Game:Intensity; Insatiability; the Walking \Tounded; The Prince Charming Trap o Survival Tips: Intimate Relationshipso Act V SceneI, Marriage and Child Rearing:Meet the Bakers,1 Plus 1 Is More Than Two, Parentingand the ADD Dimension o SurvivalTips: "Planned BounParenting". Act V SceneII, Chaoson the Cul-de,Sac: d"ry Issues and Invisible Circles . Family Therapy o Survival Tips: Emotional Living Space

Chapterl I
From Mealtime Mania to Outing Ordeals: flow,To's of Decreasing Discord Scenes From the Kitchen Table and ADD Family Fun o Family Life Through the Eyesof Tom, Jan, Amy, Zacharyand Jennifer o o CombustibleMix of ADD Temperaments Survival Tips: Reducing the Chaos and Tuming Down the Volume . Survival Tips: From Chaos to PeacefulCo-Existence




Chapter 12


Principles of Governmenfi Family Style Poisedfor Defense Attack . Establishing SharedGovemmenr or a o Principlesand Rulesof Conduct for Family Meetings o Equal Opportunity Participation:Problem-Solving, Bargaining, Negotiation, Contracting o GuardingAgainst Expectations Perfection of

Chapter3 |
Dynamics of ADD in Organization: Mechanics and Methods Life is Difficult for the OrganizationallyImpaired o Creating Order: Where Do You Start? o Designinga Clearing Our and Storing Systemo Home Office Management:the Peaceof Mind Payoff o PracticalTools for MessManagement o PaperPile Managementand Its Cardinal Rules o Ji3 Do's and PaperPile Mis. management. Time Management:Thming the Time Monster


Chapter 14
Dynamics of ADD in Memorys Mechanics and Methods The Memory Chain o Memory and Learning:You Can't Have o One Without the Other o How Are Your Memories? How Do r Memory Tune.Up You Leam: What's Your Leaming Style? . Techniques Leaming Tipt o Leaming Disabilitiesand ADD


Chapter l5
Cmtches, Ladders and the Decision to Seek Professional Help About Crutches,Laddersand Assumptionso Are You Readyto 'Whar's Ask for Help? o Alternative and MainstreamTherapies: the Difference?o The Value and Limitations of Research. Becoming Your Own CaseManager o J[ Be. . . or Not To Be Medi. cated o The Issue Substance of Abuse


Chapter l6


Medicine and Medicine Management o A tial and Error Process The How and \fhy of Medicine o Benefits,Action, Side Effects, DoseLevels:Stimulant Medications; Tricyclic Antidepressants; Misce[aneousand Newer Drugs . SelfMedicationso Medicine:A Starting Place,Not the Final Destination




Chapter |?


Therapy and More Therapy ftgl"pt Dilemma o Cognitive and BehavioralTherapy . Speech and Language Therapy o EducationalRemediation .- Psychodyo namic Psychotherapies Miscellaneous Therapieso Family o Social Skills Tiaining o SensoryIntegration o PsychoTherapy education o Support Groups o Asserriveness taining o Alternative Therapy:Yoga; Massage; Brain Massage Virnril Reality (l); and Progressive MuscleRelaxation o Visualizationo Tianscendental Meditation o Natural Childbirth Techniqueso Diet Therapy o EEG Biofeedback

Chapter8 |
From Obstacle to Opportunity If You Could Pusha Button and Not Have ADD Anymore, !7ould o You PushIt? o About Joy,Hope and Possibiliries ADD and the Specialized Brain o Abilities Within Disabilities: The ADD Advano r Storieso What Is Success? Finding Your Niche: !"ge Success Better Late Than Never o The Bright Outlook for Us o ADD is More Than a Disorder:It Is Also An ADDed Dimensionl


Imagine a World Without ADD

4tl 414

Appendix A
Suggested Reading List

420 427

Appendix B
Resource List



XI .She did a superb of supportingmy husbandthrough the difficult task of writing his doctoral dissertation. This community network has made my job easier. readers people.rpport Group for sharing invaluable information about their personal experiences with ADD.please chalk it up to faulty memory rather than a lack of appreciation.Acknowled*ements Kate Kelly: I find myselfapproaching this sectionwith sometrepidation. GeorgeSchoberhas eamed a heartfelt thanks for helping facilitate the supportgroup.Georgeis an ADD adult who has becomemy role model for gracefullybalancing the various parts of one'slife. I wish to thank the membersof the Cincinnati ADD Adult S.ADD adults and interestedprofessionals. she went above and beyond the call of duty. giving the extra encouragement would have provided if I I hadn't been so preoccupied with my own project.providing editorial assistance being a good friend and even ashe struggledwith a personaltragedy. I wonder if my erratic ADD memory will do its job adequately. I am etemally grateful to Dr. and resource Specialthanks are in order to the ADD Council of Greater Cincinnati which has organizeda superbnerwork of ADD parents.As his committee chair. I fail If to mention someone who has contributedto this project. First. She has alsobeen an enthusiasticsupporterof this book from concepr ro completion. They have alsofunctioned ascheeileaders. Bonnie Green who contributed to the process writing this book in several of job ways.

P.took over many chauffeuringduties for my children and provided numerouschildfree weekends.Barbaraand CharlesKelln who did a greatjob of raising a my very difficult child. He was there with his supportwhen this book wasonly a half-bakedidea.Billy ffiy computer stockedwith paper and my children embracedwith your love. for to helping me make my dream a daughter's teacherfor the past three years. To -y daughterTyrell whosemany love notes. Marjorie Buschingand Marta Donahoealso took time out of busyschedules read and comment on the book. I hope we will continue to collaborate projects on for many yearsto come. To my husbandDoug who has believed in me from the beginning. Thanks Doug. To -y husband.AcTNowLEDGEMENTS I alsowish to thank Rob Allard both for filling in assupporrgroup facilitator and providing feedbackon the rough draftsof this manuscript. ironed clothes. You've fed the dog you never wanted and protectedme when my XII . To parents. but they never failed to supportmy efforts.Rob-what can I say? You've kept me in clean. 'Words Peggy Ramundo: are inadequateto express appreciation my for my parentswho supportedme in countlesswaysduring the process of writing this book. Last.He didn't hesitatewhen we took the plunge together. I have been part of many work groupsin my life but none has functioned aswell asthis one. cabinetsstockedwith groceries. They reminded me to eat and sleep. to Thanks also to Angela Field who provided child care and the useof her computerwhen mine wasunavailable. but certainly not least.SuzanneBehle. Tyrell.committing most of our personaland financial resources publishing it. I wish to thank my co-author. car filled with gas. drawingsand hugskept me going when the going got rough.has been a listening ear and support personwhenever I neededit.ggy Ramundo and her husbandRob Ramundo for their contributions to a greatwriting/publishing team. They didn't alwaysapproveof the intensity with which I approached this project.a round of applause goesto my family. for being such a greatkid and for being so patient with me.

trips Our thanks to Rita R. United Stateshasproducedimpressive we have been able to gather information from ADD adults throughout the country. Her single-handed Thanks to Mary Jane. results. entertaining yourselves.She has reviewed and has sharedboth information and conthe book at variousstages the efforts at organtzingADD adults across tacts. Your insights. providing the structurefor him to manageon his own and Jeremy. ed his time and expertiseasa consultant. computer and working so hard to understandwhy mommy couldn't go awaywith you and your daddyfor the weekend. my son'steacherfor three years. Liz. not only for your command of the English language your insightsand experiences that have addedto the qualiry of this book. From Both of Us: Mury JaneJohnson.You'veassumed the rolesI've given up the pasttwo years-l couldn't have done it without you. neuropsychologist a Dr. Stull for taking this manuscripton business and spendingher free time helping us dot the i's and crossthe t's. but alsofor Rita.for her emotional support.AcxNowLEDGEMENTS all old cat died. \UayneHarrison has conliterature and offering his ongoing on tributed by passing professional moral support. Thanks for your friendship.founder of the ADDult Network hasbeen an enthusiasticsupporterof our efforts. who specializes the diagin Schroeder. leaving love notes on my your own breakfasts.has provided ongoing Thanks.Thanla. and for encouragingme to take sometime off once and a while. My children Alison and Jeremyhave both shown incredible maturity Thank you for getting and understandingat being semi-motherless.experiences struggleshave contributed in invaluable waysto this book. Bunny Hensley. Liz \fymer.Dr.I love you both so much! I'd like to thank my friend. Joseph generously donatnosisand treatment of ADD adults and adolescents. XIII . Bunny. for taking such good care of supportand encouragement. putting up with all the times I've gotten him to schoollate! My thanks to all the ADD adults and parentsof ADD children who and have sharedtheir lives with me.

AcTNowLEDcEMENTS And last. XIV . Our pages possibilitieswenr in the of of trash after Dave'sexcited phone call one day.His creative brainstorming culminated in our creating the presenttitle that we feel truly caprures the realitv of ADD. The title changedinumerabletimes during the process writing it.we'd like to thank David Stull for his contribution to naming this book. but certainly not least.

Stupid or CraTy?1. their families. socialor family problems. I have the sameproblems. like the ADHD.Further. Kate Kelly's and Peggy Ramundo's book. Adults with ADHD continue to be hyperactive. Unfortunately. too many adultsnever leam of their disability."That's me.Of equalimportance. XV .They can have difficulty with organization. many developsecondary emotional.their work and their sociallives. Suddenlythey say.In addition.Foreword percent of children with Attention It is now clear that at least 5Oo/o Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) continue to have the disorder Recent studiesconfirm that at least30Voof thesechildren asadolescents.distractible.and/or impulsive.The behaviorspersistand causeas much difficulty asthey did when the personwasa child or adolescent.Often planning or job relatedproblems."Other adults first leam of their problem when they read an article in a magazine or seea specialon television. doesan excellentjob of providing this information in an accurate. clear and easyto readway. might have been undiagnosed and untreated. Thus.theseauthors go beyondproviding information by offering specificsuggestions and programsto address each problem area. many of there are career theseadults alsohave learning disabilitieswhich.YouMewt I'm Not Lazy. continue to have ADHD as adults. Someadultsfirst leam of their ADHD when their child is diagnosed. adultswith ADHD need information about their disability and its impact on themselves.

often invisibleneurological disabilities. M. Inrry . Silver. Silver is a national leaderin the field of Leaming Disabilitiesand Attention Deficit-Hyperactivity Disorder. A11adults with ADHD and all familiesof adultswith ADHD will benefit from reading and studyingthis book.FoRpwoRo his It is critical for eachadult to understand or her pastand how ADHD might have affectedpersonaland family life aswell asschool perforThis understanding can result in a better manceand peer relationships. I thank Kate Kelly and Peggy for writing such an informative and very helpful book. His extensivewriting includesover one hundredthirty publications. AttennonDeficitHyperacnvity and Clinical Guide to Diagnosis Treatment. Possible to exploreeachareaof his or her life. The Misunderstood ChiA Disorder: A and two recent additions. with communication. problemswith self. identifiringproblemareas.Whenever a problem areais discussed. clinical and teaching interestshave focusedon the psychological and socialimpact of subtle. of Clinical Professor Psychiatry.for clinicians and Dr. Larry B. Adq.)ice Par entson AttentionD eficit HyperacnviryDisordBr to Silqrer's XVI . for it suggestions addressing are presentedwith many examples.D. past difficulties and can be the start of rethinking one's understandingof The authorshelp the readerdo this. Men and women who first discovertheir disability in adulthood have Ramundo much to leam and much to do. The adult is then helped self-image.For over twenty yearshis primary research. Director of Training in Child and Adolescent Psychiatry GeorgetownUniversity School of Medicine Dr. with meaningful others and practical with work areexplored.These include his popular book.

and and XVII . Booksare filled with strategies managingthe symptomsof ADD at home and for at school.\7e have drawn on our professional experiences writing this book.You are well informedaboutAttention Deficit Disorderand are readingthis book to seeif it containsany new information. that you may have the disorderyourself. This book is for all of you. "\Uhat do I do now?" 3. It isn't a scholarlytext but a practicalguide for understandingand managingthe dynamicsof ADD in adulthood. you probablyfit into one of the following categories: l. \7e have alsodealt with ADD issues our individual professions in of mental health and education. But availableinformation for managingADD in adulthood is in short supply. grandchildor siblingwho has attention deficits. What do you do if you have ADD and aren't a kid anymore? How do you manageyour own disorder? This book has been written to offer someanswers thesequestions. \7e both have exrensive experiencedealing with our own disorders and those of our children.Youhave beendiagnosed with the disorderand are wondering.INrRooucrIoN eDD Just Kids lsn'f for Anymore! If you're readingthis book. But at the heart of the book are our perin sonalperspectives experiences thoseof many other ADD adults. to This book is written for ADDers by ADDers. There is a lot of availableliterature about ADD in children.Youhave a growingsuspicion. perhaps fueledby your experienceswith a child. 2.

But if you take off the "dis". each readerto assume active role in coping effectivelywith his or her disorder. Having ADD means of that each of us musr deal with an assortment disabilities. and to en' an .rrug.\7e hope that each of you will useit not only asan but asa celebrationof differences: examinationof disabilities ADD: A Disorder OR An ADDed Dimension? XVIII .o.INrRonucrtoN ADD is About Abilities and Disabilities and ADD Adula are Capable of Helping Themselves These are the underlying principles of this book. you can discovera multitude of abilitiesaswelll We are committed to rhe belief that each of us can useour unique abilities our unique disabilities. to manage Our goal in writing this book is to educateand enlighten.

Our original ideastook the form of a three pageoutline which becameour frameworkthroughout the writing process. During the writing process. vision changedlittle from our original our outline. \7e choseto add this section to sharewith our readers the underlying philosophythat guidedour writing and the decisionswe made r"ga.we sat on a porch swing and sharedour vision for this book. The chapter you are readingnow is the only addition.dirrg the book'sformat. In the Introduction. 'We we've written it asa separate chapter.CHaprEn 1 - Frorn Porch thePrinted the to ?age: Reader's fo A Guide Understanding Book This Dear Reader: Plcase don't skip this section! Although it's really a preface.\7e also includednumerous cartoons to . Over two yearsago. thought that many of our readers might approacha new book the way we do-by skipping the miscellaneous pages and jumping right into the good stuff! But the information in this brief sectionis too important to gloss over.To that end. we explainedour goal of writing a book an ADD adult could useto understandand manageher disorder. we chosean informal writing style and worked hard to minimize the complexity of somerather complicatedscientific concepts.It will help answersomeof the questionsyou may have asyou go along. Many long daysand countlessrevisionslater.\7e wanted this book to be practical and easyto readfor anyonewith specificreading and language deficits. our original PorchSwlngPlanningsession evolved into the book you are about to read.

\7e concludedthat none of the the 'S7e options would solve the problem. \7e alsowant to explain how we deal with the issue sexistlanguage of in this book. \7e were alsokeenly awareof the curiosityof ADDers who don't often acceptsuggestions without first asking. taking them at your own paceand allowing time to digestthe material. "l've alreadyreadthis information in several other books. as Since this book is for all of you. we wanted to make the language inclusive aspossible.more practicalsideof ADD.If you get really boredor befuddled.Sruproon Cnazv!? make the text more understandable. "Have I been tricked?Is this a text book?I thought it wasgoing to be a practical. you might want to just browsethesechapters. you'renew to ADD. "How is this book going to help me if I can't understandthe first chapter?" considereda variety of options from eliminating someof the information to reorganizing format. ADD isn't just a As problemfor boysand men. agonized of we over theseearly chaptersthat aren't aseasyto read as the rest of the book. The seeming erratic useof "he" and "she" isn't an editing 'V7e choseto alternate the useof male and femalepronounsby error! chapters. just hang in there If with the earlychapters. you will discoverasyou readthis book.self-helpbook!" 2.the anecdotes and practicalsuggestions folthat lowed wouldn't make much sense.You MpaNI'u Nor Lazv. men and women alike. take a break! We promisethe going will get easier and later chapters will take a look at the lighter. They are denselypackedwith rather technical information that is difficult to simplify. We didn't want to losereaders who might react in one or more of the following ways:1. 'We would like to comment on the organizationof this book before you begin reading the three chaptersthat follow and questionwhat we just saidaboutease reading!During the editing process. knew that our readers would have varying levelsof knowledgeabout ADD and that somewould need an in-depth introduction to the disorder. If you've alreadydone extensivereadingin ADD. as So. the odd numbered 'We ."But whyl" !7e decidedthat without this background information. The assumption that the majority of ADDers are male has been challenged knowledgeabout ADD has grown. we choseto leavethe format So alone and to offer the following guidelines."3.

In reviewing the book. In our work with classroom teachers. isn't surprising of of It that educators observe ADD behaviorsin many of their students because the symptoms ADD are an exaggeration behaviorsand experiences of of that fall within the normal human range. 'We can't emphasize enough that a diagnosisis not a do-it-yowself enterprise. of we have alsotried to avoid stereotypes. there is no significance. sinceADDers tend to be rather non-traditionalfolk.". Another part of the diagnosticdilemma is that variousmental health problemshave symptoms that overlapthoseof ADD.p€ople with schizophrenia depression proor have information processing blemssimilar to ADD adultsbut often to a greaterdegree. Finally.A S3':?T5 and relationships. we want to include a word of caution. a nationally known ADD expert raisedan important issue. can picture the constemation of mental health professionals confrontedwith officesfilled with people demandingtreatment for the ADD they've self-diagnosed.might have A for attention deficitsbut her treatmentwould be radicallydifferentfrom that of an ADDer. By the way. personwith schizophrenia. of cem is valid.male. including examples both men of particularly and women in non-traditionalroles. 'S7e wagon everyonewants to jump on. This con. many report that the manifestations ADD characterize of everychild in their classrooms! 'S7e want to emphasize that ADD is a complicatedsyndromewith diversesymptoms varying degrees severity.'# J:Jl3"fiil? +i?.other than a flip of a coin. in The problem with ADD is one of degreeand persistence the sympof varying situations. For example. it's not hard to imagineADD becomingthe new bandSo. voiced He his concem that everyadult who read it could identify with the describedADD behaviorsand make a self-diagnosis ADD. Virtually all mental health problemsinterferewith organizationand information processing.1""" chaptersusefemalepronoun references and the even chapters.n" significantproblemsin school.Anyone can sometimes have lapses memory act impulsivelyor have difficulty concentrating. example.ADDers have symptoms toms over time and across that begin in childhood and . Using stimulant medicationin her treatment .This seems appropriate. for beginningwith sheinsteadof he! Parallelingthis issue sexistlanguage.l.

Develop a relationship with a professional who can provide a formal evaluation and diagnosis. follow the guidelines in Chapter 6. The point is. we will have accomplished mission. Many of the self-help strategies usefulwith or without a specificdiagnosis. Ifqgr readers have half as much fun reading it aswe have had writing it.we hope that spouses. in friends and colleagues ADDers and other adults who sffugglewith of relatedproblemswill readthis book and developgreatersensitiviryro 'We individuals with specialneeds. Kate Kelly and Peggy Ramundo . are For a readerdoesn'thave to know why she is disorganized benefit from to someof our suggestions Chapter 13. Ife don't believe. an accuratediagnosisis an essentialcomponent of treatment. can benefit from someof this material. Severalexcellent books of that kind are availableand are listed in the appendix. we hope that you'll find this book enjoyableand informative.diagnosticmanual.\7e welcomeyour comour ments.If you're reading this book because suspect you you have ADD.personal experiences anything elseyou would like to share or with us.however.that an official ADD diagnosisis a prerequisite for readingthis book.You MEaNI'v Nor Lxzy.Sruproon Cnazy!? would likely have the effect of dramatically worseningher condition. In addition. This book isn't a scholarly. example. Finally. Individuals with orher mental health problems and thosewithout symptomssufficiently severeto be considered ADD. Sincerely. can all benefit from understanding how glitchesin brain processes wreakhavoc in the daily lives of can many people.

So most of us grew up with negativefeelings that developedaroundbehaviorseveryonemisunderstood. often amazed ourselves. .siblings. to make the other kids laugh.teachers and friends didn't know that either.We didn't count the thumb tackson the bulletin boardbecause enjoyedwatching the veins pop we out of a teacher's neck when he yelled at us to get to work.D's and F'sdidn't lie. Stupid Crazy Or It's difficult to grow up with the hidden handicapof ADD. Sropfoolingaround.Sometimes felt smart.siblings.We didn't begfor more toys. Most of our parents. our teachers repeatedly told us we could do our work but chosenot to. Bur unfortunately.most of we us didn't know that. teachers our and our parentswith our wealth of knowledgeand creariveideas. Our report cardswerecontinual remindersthat we weren't very bright. didn't leaveour roomsin total chaosto make We our parentswring their handsin frustration.parents. They definedour self-perceptions kids who as were lazy.\7e cameup with wonderful invenwe 'We tions and imaginativepluy. tVe didn't yawn and stretch and sprawlacross desktops. Those C's. friendsand ourselves.biggerbikes or better birthday partiesbecause wanted our moms and dadsto feel we terrible for depriving us of thesethings. just our totally exhausted. teachers. We didn't want to cause trouble. \7e dld thesethings because had ADD.We didn't start our dayswith a plan to drive everyonecrazy. When we were children. Many of us feel that we've spentour lives disappointingeveryone. Pay attention.CuaprEn 2 - Undersfandine The Disorder Makes Feel That Us Lazy.

SruproOn Cnnzy?! If you would jwt try. Youcut da tt whenyou went to. Settle down.. Have you ever heard any of thesecomments If you're a parent. Why do you always mal<e things hnrdfor yowself? so Yow roomis always mess.You MraN I'r'l Nor Lazy. Why are Jou actingthisway? You'retno smartto get srchternblegades. Are you tryingto driueme craTy? Why can'tJou actlil<e yow brother. you could" it. "Yes!" 6\ lli . a" You jwt haveto buckledawn.have I you ever saidany of them?Our bet is that your answerto both questions is a resounding..sister? Why sre you so inesponsible. Stopbothering otherchildren.t Youaren'tgratefulfor anything. da You'relazy.

to our behaviors weretoleratedeven less. we encourage you to readthe following section. Even if you've alreadydone your homework in ADD. we'll offer many suggestions strate. If he did.rr disorder.This is alsothe missionstatementof this book. you'll need an in-depth understanding ADD. But the first and most important one is ro repeatat leastone hundredtimes: "I am not la7y._\7e hgne you'll be ableto formulatea new. Unfortunately. you have to leam asmuch asyou can about yo.perceprions your firsi 1ob.stupidor craTy!" ff you aren't convinced yet. Of course.His handicapis obviousand everyone understands limitations. To understandyour symproms and take appropriatestepsto gain control over them. Reframingyour self. By many-ofus are convinced that we indeedwere-and still are-lazy.rpand walk if he tried harder. is To accomplishthis. of The ADD Council of GreaterCincinnati offersa variety of services relatedto ADD issues has a missionro "FosterUnderstanding and Through Education".I don't really wish he had a physicaldisability. Understanding Through Education As we move through this book. though.positiveself-perceprion to replacethe old one.UNDPRsTRNDING rue DtsonornTuRr Mnrrs Us FEprLnzy. PR: "l have somerimes wishedthat my son had a physicalhandicap insteadof ADD. would be easier *e to understand It for his limitarions. and giesfor dealingwith ADD. we hope you will be by the end of this book.You may not discovernew infoimation per sebut you may discovera new frameworkfor understanding . the time we becomeadults.Since we were old en'ough know better. stupid or crazy.not many peopleunderstand his the hidden handicapof an ADD child. it would be easierto explain his llmitations to peoplewho don't understand." For most of us the misunderstandings faulty assumptions and continued into our adolescenr years.Sruprnon Cnnzy It's unlikely that anyonewould tell a child in a wheelchairthat he could getr.

lieved that bad mannersand improperupbringing caused supported In the first half of the twentieth century other researchers Dr. About Definitions.impulsivity and inatten' with brain injuries and children with damage iion. "A Defect in Moral Control". A few yearsago. Recent media focusgivesthe impression to Somesubscribe the theory that ADD might not be new but is being numbersof parentsto excusetheir children'smisbeusedby increasing havior.SruptoOn Cnezv?! of specificissues ADD in adults.They noted that variouskinds of brain damagecaused of parienrsto displaysymptoms hyperactivity. he theorizedthat an organicprobof the lem rather rhan a behavioralone caused symptoms his patients. Descriptions and Diagnostic Dilemmass Is It ADD or ADHD? (CNS) of ADD (or ADHD) is a disorder the centralnervoussystem of in by characterized disturbances the areas attention. impulsiveness and hyperactivity. This wasa rather revolutionarytheory at a time when most peoplebe' misbehavior. Over the years. World'War I soldiers from a brain virus both had similar symptomsto children who apparently had been bom with them. Still's rheory. cenruryresearcher \7e doubt there weremany yuppiesin 1902when Still workedwith his hyperactive.\7e will usethis frameworkaswe exyour workplaceand amine the dynamicsof ADD in your relationships. at have reflectedthe stateof research the time: c Post -Encephnliti D isorder Hyperkinesis Minimal Brain Damage .F.You MrnN I'v Not LnzY. that ADD is a new problem. your home.Stilll a tum-of-the' This observation who worked with children in a psychiatrichospital.impulsiveand inattentive patients. G.Although he usedthe label. The labels many labels'havebeengiven to the local principal concludedthat ADD was '80'sJ of Disorder the the Yuppie to would comeasa surprise Dr.

entiatedADD" (for thosewithout hyperactivity). A number of expertsbelievedthat hyperactiviryhad to be presentfor an ADD diagnosis. requireda secondrevision of the diagnosticmanual.the APA'srevised manual. advisedthat *oik is in progress be on the DSM IV! Is thereany reasonto rememberthe DSM label revisions? suppose We you could drop terms like the Diagnosticand StatisticalManual bi the . They theorizedthat the other relatedsymproms were part of a separate disorder. you g.i. why wasyour daughter in diagnosed 1988with ADHD? Are you confused in yet?\fell. Attention Deficit Disorderwith Hyperacriviry".UNoEnsTeNDING rHs DtsonoERTuRr MRrEs Us Fml Lnzy. During the '70's. jusr ro keep you abreast research of developments. Theseconclusions.the DSM-llla creatednew labels: "ADDH.In 1968.persirt"d until the '60's. reflecrsthis theory with yet other labels:"ADHD.research broadenedits focusbeyondhyperactiviry and concludedthat subtlecognitive disabilities memoryand attention of problemswere the coresof the disorder.esidualTyp.tcoupled with the discoverythat attention problemscould exist without activity and continue beyondchildhood. Srupro oR CnRzy Minimal Brain D ysfunction Hyperkirctic Reaction Childhood of AttentionDeficit Disorder with and without Hyperactivity The focuson structuralproblemsin the brain-holes perhaps. Then research legan to focusprimarily on the sympromof hyperactivity in childhood. In 1980. other or abnormalitiesdetectedthrough neurologicaltesting.rsed it. ^hyp. The labelschanged againin 1987."Atrenrion Deficit Disorderwithout Hyperactivity" and 'T.the DSM-lll-R5.And. current version of the rhe {lagnostic manual. Attention Deficit HyperacrivityDisorder"or'"LJndiffer. If your son wasdiagnosed 1985with ADDH." (for those whosesymptomsconrinued into adulthood). Revisedin 1987.the American PsychiatriiAssociation to (4IA) responded this research revisingits diagnosticmanual by (DSM-IIX The revision includedthe new label:"Hyperkinetic Disorder of Childhood"..

friend'sor spouse's. It's difficult to capture you of the essence somethingin a few words.I't.the only reasonto know about the changinglabelsis that they reflect an ever' of changingunderstanding ADD. APAs manual attemptsto label and describe different groupsinto distinct assigning variousclustersof symptoms. adults.this meansthat relativelyfew peoplefit the classic There is alsomuch symptomoverlap betrveen difDSM diagnoses.If you caregorize report or the songyou over naming your business have ever agonized jusr composed.One reasonfor this imprecisionis the complex nature of the a This complexitycreates billion-piece brain and centralnervoussystem.l You ME. The debatewill continue about ADD issues-what is it exactly and who shouldbe includedin the diagnosticcriteria?To provide guidelines the for diagnosticians. particularly asthey apply to ADD in of definitions and descriptions.N Not Lnzv. changes 10 .The significancefor an ADDer is that he shouldn't expect his to symptoms be exactlylike his child's.SruptoOn Cnnzv?! friendsat your next party! American PsychiatricAssociationto impress The information would be usefulif you happento be studyingpsychology and need the information for an upcomingexam. of so ferent disorders an individual may have symptoms multiple disorders. In practicalterms. First. of categories disorders. Specific Symptoms of ADD you'll becomeawareof the imprecision As we review specificsymptoms. it's easierto type than ADHD! Secondand more important. the ADD label avoidsthe hyperactivity/nohyperactivity issue.Behaviorsjust won't fit into tidy little boxes. know the limitations of a title. with this attempt to The problem is that human beingsdon't cooperate behavior.Otherwise. that make a precisedescriptionof the disorder. jigsaw puzzle possible Each of us is a puzzle and symptoms. Adding to the diagnosticdilemma are the rapid behavioral difficult. we've madethe decisionto usethe genericlabel of For our purposes. causes of piecesuniquely different from another of with an assortment puzzle ADDer. ADD in this book.A.

dividingfocus the betweenrelevant stimuli and shr/ang focusto anotherstimulus.boredom-these are common.The Short Attention SpanThearcr. Inattention Attention spanis a concept that has recently capturedthe public imagination. attending is more than simply paying arrenrion.It might seemparadoxicalthat a high-energyadult could have trouble getting startedon his work. for Most peoplecharacterize attention deficit disorderasa problem of a an short attention span.And a problem with attending is more than simply not paying artention long eno. procrastination.\'as prevailingrheoryunril fairthe ly recently. In Chaprer4.The focuson hyperactivitythat frequentlydecreases adoby lescence caused researchers missmany of the more subtleproblems to that persistin adulthood. The result is a of failure to pay attention.rgh.Sruproon CnRzy Definitionsand descriptions adult ADD are alsoimprecise of because adultsdon't have ADD.UNornsrnNDING DtsonogR rur Tuar Merls Us FEEILxzy.Impairedfuncrioning can occur in any or all of theseareas attention. You don'r have to be aWalkingEncycbpediaof ADD . susfdining focusover time. It's more accurateto describeattentional problemsascomponentsof the process aftention. and somewhatsurprisingmanifestations attentional probof lems. we'll of take a broaderlook at an ADDer's differences rhat don't quite fit into the diagnostic criteria. \Torkaholism. but you do need sufficientknowledgeto capitalizeon your strengthsand bypass your weaknesses. purportedlydesigned the easilybored. This process of includes clnosingtheright stimulus to focuson. single-mindedness. In we'll examinethe three major symproms ADD.Th"y think of ADDers asmental butterflies.In reality. the following need ro understandthe impact ADD symptoms have on your life.It might seemparadoxical that a workaholiccould have attentional problems. right?This \. 1l . flitting from one taskor thought to anotherbut never alighting on anything. There is even a tongue-in-cheek TV show. Despitethe diagnosticdilemma.

smells.He can't selectively about his focushis attention and might endurefrequentaccusations In laziness. easierto understandthe diverit attention are considered. he'sso distractedbv stimuli that he can't figure out where or how to get started.Unable to shift in attention betweenactivities.he can becomeengrossed his iob to the exclusionof everythingelsein his excuse. The Workaholic might have little difficulty selectingfocusor sustaining it but have greardifficulty shifting his focus.he approaches a 2 o o t U fi P I t2 \ \ .You MpeNI'v Not Lazv.SruptoOn Cnazv?! are Thesemanifestations baffling only if ADD is viewed asa short When ALL the dimensionsof attention spanor worse. The housemight bum down and the kids might run wild but he'll banish that last dust ball from the living room! The Procrastinator has the oppositeproblem. most Unable to selectthe most important stimulus. It's asif he wearsblindersthat prevent him from seeing anything but the task at hand. truth.Sounds.sightsand the ranof dom wanderings his thoughtscontinually vie for his attention. He struggles intently to shut out the world'sdistractions that he getslocked in to behavior that continueslong after it shouldstop. becomes of sity of the manifestations ADD. Similar behavior can be seenin the personwho has trouble sustainso ing attention.

With an inability to maintain focus. \Tithout this stimulation.many ADDers require intenselystimulating situationsto maintain alertness and attentiveness. ity of work on the job.anything.\il7el<nowour 13 .Sruprnon Cnezy tasksin a disorganized fashion and has trouble finishing or some. Being impulsivemeans that many of us act and react with astonishirrgspeed with little and thought about the consequences.UNoSRsTRNDINGDIsoRosn rur Tuer Mnxrs Us FEErLAZr.So it looksasif we don't careand won't tryl In reality. might pull out from our driveways !7e without checking the rear view mirror or leavework two hours early to enjol a beautiful springday.He might ger into debt with impulsebuying. 'We're not unmotivated!Our problems with selective attention compromiseour abilities to stayfocusedand productive. brainsdon't control behavior Our the way they should." . "Hls work is careless because won't tr\. times even starting. lessobviousways. discardan imporrant documenror ruin a new pieceof equipmentbecause takestoo long to readthe we sayand do things rashly." Thesecommentsreflect a misunderstanding the impulsivewords of and actionsof ADDers. Heightenedinterestand a belief in one'sultimate success improves the quality of aftending." he "He's wasting ability his . we might have violated classroom rules.attention wandersand many of us are told we're unmotivated. \7hen we werechildren. it "He l<nows rules but breal<s tfu themanyway . The ADDer often rushes through taskswith little preplanningand many careless errors.As adults. If the task is uninteresting.Controlling impulses tough for many is ADD adults! Impulsiviry playsout in's even harder for him to sustainfocus.It can affectthe qual. we might blurt out confidential information or shareintimate details with relative strangers. Impulsioity Impulsivity is a failure to stop and think. Most of us do know the rules.we have to exertmany times the effiortof non-ADDers to maintain adequate levelsof motivarion. insultedour parentsor run into the streetwithout looking.

Knowing thesethings. Hyperactivity Hyperactivity is probablythe first symptompeoplethink of when they talk about ADD. Th. excessive only one part of a larger primary symptomof ADD. someADDers talk too much! Barely pausingfor breath. But it describes that includesa wide rangeof behaviors.y might immediatelyconjureup an image off of an overactive child bowrcing the wallsandhangingfromtfuLight activity can be a fixnnes!\Tithout question. SruptpOn Cnazv?! \ work is neaterwhen we work slowly.doesn'tmean that accurate we can easilycontrol the impulsivebehaviors.Wel<rnw we arecapableof more work.I ( 1"1 You MpnNI'v Not Ltzu. they talk so much and so fast that no one else T4 .this random. however. activity dysregulation Rather than moving too much.Peoplewho make about us don't understandthe enormouseffort faulty assumptions in we expendkeepingour impulses check.

' she thanked me profuselyfor the wealth of material I had shared. congratulated I myselffor sticking to my schedule. hyperactivitycan help us ger more accomplished.o. Se. Thesefolk are exrremelvactive of but don't seem have problems to with attention. . Do you know how many times you took the top gf yo-ur At n9n 9ff and put it back-onagain?' the end of the workrhoi. The speech a driven quality to it asif has the wordshave beenbottled up for centuriesand ared"rp"r"t" ro get our! PR: "At a recent conference.. might have leamedto stop bouncing \7eoff the walls and on the fumiture but we might still feel u.omfortable" when we have to sit still.sayanything.Sruplo on Cnazy rHE has a chanceto. Someresearchers have studiedhyperactiveindividualswho don'r have any of the other symptoms ADD.If the activity is purposeful. There is a final thing we shouldmention. has First.thing.we can never stop leaming about our behavioreven when we think we have a goodhandie on it.".o f guess didn't overwhelmher too much with my non-hyperactivity!" I This anecdote two messages. Thesesubtlebehaviorsreflect generalized restlessness impaand _the tie-nce many of us experience.UNDTRsTRNDING DtsonorR TuRr MnrcEsUs Frrl Luzy. unlike my son. commentedthat. havenever leamedthe quantiryof information I just leamed! but And one more.d.I wasn'tparticularly I -mY hyperactive.. Just in time for our fingersor twirl our hair.i sharedsomeinformation about own symptoms. dependingon the quality of the behavior. so work secondjobs or run in marathonson the weekend. Relaxing can be impossible we might take o. $ . A memberof my audiencestoppedme ar the coffeepot and sharedher observations my-presentationityle. it points out that hyperactivitycan manifestitself in more subtleways than physicalover-acrivity. So we fidget.mood swings any of or the other roadblocks that interferewith* and unproductive. *-.The issuJfor hypen active ADD adultsis that much of their activiry is dysregulated. Hyperactivity can be either a deficit or an asset. t"p o.'you might not be hvp"" active' but do you know how fastyou talk?I have atten?edlots of *orkshops. of she said.rous hobbies.

You MEnNI'v Nor'll need a crashcoursein the I'letnoLogy theBrain closethe book yet! \7e promise Don't System.inattentive. alsoknown asmagneticresonance magneticresonance.the brain works. . Brain Imaglngis about th" cutnesand treatment of ADD.rr" what causes of To get started. why?"You may be askingthis questionabout your "l symptomJ. can't open up an ADDer's skull to studyhis brain! researchers cause to Even if they could.Why?? ADDers are curiousfolk. Th"y are rarely able to let anything go by without's easyto assume your fault. They show the structureor shapeof the brain but don't tell us much about hoq. and.theCenualNerq/ous ADD But as to makethis aspainless possible. You are undoubtedly marion familiar with the X-ray and CAT scanthat provide picturesof structuresinsidethe human body.Thesetechniques magneticfieldsto obtain clearerpicuse ing t. impulsiveand hyperactive-but why do I have this baffling disorderl"If we could give you a tidy answerto your Since no one knows would herald our discovery. it's difficult to understand without knowing someof rhe "whys" of the disorder.). Research Tools focused has As knowledgeabout ADD hasgrown.Another imagingtechniqueis nuclear imag' (NMR. SruptoOn Cnnzv?! goes.Th. it would be nearly impossible isolateand examine particular chemical or a specificportion of the brain."But. . So. question. for r. (MRI).All thesemethods. The human a brain is simply too complex and has many interrelatedparts. research increasingly are on rhe possibiliryrhat the ADD brain and centralnervoussystem Testingsomeof the theoriesis tricky be' somehow wireddifferently.however..have limitations.Why is your ADD seemto changeso \Uhy do your symptoms different from each of ours? causelittle or no problem? sometimes much?Why do your symptoms that this disorderis \Tithout somebasicknowledge.erearchers ADD. to alsousedrug responses indirectly studybrain activity.ri"r than thoseof a CAf scan.scientists usingsophisticated one promisingtechniquethat maylrovide inforbrain.y Scientists in the know that certain drugsincrease quantity of neurotransmitters t6 . u. imagingdevicq to scanthe are Instead. the bestwe can do is examinepossibilities.

A positive drug response suggesrs insufficiencyof the an neurochemicalaffectedby the particulardrug. The Basics of Neurology (CNS) funcThe brain and other partsof the central nervoussysrem tion asa wonderfuland intricate CommsrdCentpr.UNoSRSTaNDING DIsoRnpRTHer lv{. "The Brain's Postal S"ystem" I7 . and The messenger system the CNS consists millions of nerve cells. This commandcenter coordinates systems the human body through a messenger all of system. It sends messages receives and thosesent from variouspartsof the body and from the outsideworld. It alsoregulates controlsbehavior. Srupro on Cnnzy rHE the brain. thin projectionscalled axonsanddendrites. of of These are cell bodieswith long.lrEs Us Fprl Lnzy. How doesthis fit into the theoriesabout the possible causes ADD? of Lett take that crashcoursein Neurologyto glt better understanding " of the "why's" of your disorder. Impulses carriedalong the length of a nerve cell and jump from are one cell to anotherin much the same wayelectricitytravelstbrougha wire.

alin.You Menr I'rt Not Lxzt. The the fghr or fhghtresponse.d..the nerve cell'sdendrite.i"d across synapse chemical the across gapfrom one ian ^itters.wasit? Now let'susethis informationaswe consider from research' sometheoriesthat have emerged Current Theories About the Key Players in ADD that there Since the Command Center is so complex.if is rhe neurorransmitter that mobiliresthe reaction to danger.Epineplvine. Since stimulant drugsusedin the treatment dopaminelevels. Neurotransmitters to research conclude have usedindirect d*g response Someresearchers may play dopamine that an insufficient quantity of the neurotransmitter of ADD a role in ADD. Frontal Lobes have Researchersu found reducedblood flow in the frontal lobe areaof of ADD adults (Seedrawing). someof the examines The following discussion ulated in somefurhiorr. SruptoOn Cnazv?! in.The are Messages first receivedby receptors in the form of an electrical impulse. of as theoriesabout this dysregulation well asan assortment other proposedtheories.r"t". This increase the marathon r.They have been able to obthe brains the brain in action through a combination of scanningdevices __s_e_rve 18 . This "*".an insufficient level of this chemicalmight increase be a part of ADD. b". throuih the cell body and the axon. Thesechemi."li carry the message cell'saxon to another'sdendrite.An outpouringof endorphinsduring vigorousexercise protectshis body-from "liigh". wider so one can either run or fight an enemy.rni-rer's and."n"g the pain of stressedhuscles better known asadrenaninjury until he rests. is agreethat this interrelatedsystem dysreg' . Endorphins you might be familiar with someof isn't surprising Although there isn't of are conflicting theoriesabout the causes[. that act asthe body'sown ar" th"lain relieving neurotransmitters causes morphine. calle messengers d newo' by the is . heart beatsrapldlVand the breath". At the end of the axon is a syn' message The eiectricalimpulse.o.oints-an athlete is often un' f.travelsfrom the dendrite .nurryresearchers consensur.ti.ome ing passag"t That wasn'ttoo bad.or I apse. g"p betweenthe nervecel1s..

initiative and the abiliry ro regulate behavior. Reticular Activating System The reticular activating system in the brain stem. therefore.It makessense that they might. wakingcornciousness. a reducedflow in the frontal lobessuggesrs loweredactivity in this area.mood swings disinhibitedbehaviorand sometimes hlperactiviry.uNoeRsreNDrNc DrsonosR rur THRI MnrEsUs FmrL. The frontal lobesarecritical to many of the brain'sexecurivefunctions.c)Br5 RErrc u u/tG{ AcrrrzATl G N sYSrEF.Thesesymproms resemble thoseof ADD but aremoresevere. Areaswith high levelsof the radioactivesubstancehave the greatest blood flow. sruproon cRazy [Re>rrrnu L. Thesefunctions include planning.+zy. Sincealermess a big problemfor an ADDeris he hastrouble staylngawakeand payingarrention-an impairmenrin this system might cause somesymproms the disorder. of L9 .1 "The Commurtication Feedback Laop: The Reticular Activating Systemand the Frontal Lobes" and radioactivetracers. Since blood flow is an indicator of brain activity or work. Actual frontal lobe brain damage causes impulsiviry. play a signifiiant role in ADD.It's the seatof arousal is in the human brain and regulates stateof alertness the from deepsleepto full.

know the power of modeledbehavior.T and This intriguing theory might explain the inconsistentperformance of erraricsymproms ADD.u other words.This suggests us that leaming problemsbecause associated adult may demonstrate someADD interferewith this deepdreamstate.Other recent research to to arenecessary anchor leaming in memory.peoplewith ADD acdviry that a high achypothesize aren'rfully awakeand alert.underarousal. difficult. to into sleepingand waking pattems suggests someinvestigaResearch In from a primary sleepdisorder.Parents and their childto characreristics their children through their behaviors rearingsryles-children imitate their parentsand tend to adopt their and soundslike a taped values.hasarousal poorly and asa the personwith ADD sleeps indicatesthat deepdreamstates during the day.inflections and pauses.if not most cases. you 7. Many experienceirregularpattems of Others sleepso deeplythat arousalis and sleeplessness reawakening. a short in functioning. perhapsasa shorc problemsof ADD lie somewhere the wiring.When your son talks to his playmates recordingof your voice with preciselyduplicatedwords. an inherited trait.SruptoOn Cnnzv?! and the frontal lobes The functions of the reticular activating system .Sleepdisturbances are fairly common in ADDers. Similar to a looseelectricalwire. Thesescientists tivity level might be in part an effort to stayawake. other words.This might not come if asa surprise you are the ADD parent of an ADD child.tNor Lnzv. their sleepirregularities Parenting or Heredity? questions about ADD but we know that There are many unanswered it's in many. pass on Not all family traits resultfrom genetic inheritance. times it works Primary Sleep Disorder theorizethat the core problem in ADD isn't excess Someresearchers In but rather. some expertsbelieve that the lno1 interact asa conLmwicanon feedback in along this loop. thar the disorderarises rors problems result.You MraN I't.0 . Somedysregulated the loop of the brain'swiring could cause it and sometimes doesn't. Children with ADD are likely to have ADD parentsor closerelatives.

'!7e preferto feel that we have control over eventsand can shapedestinyby our actions. Do we inherit our behavioralcharacteristics do we leam them? or PR: "'W'henI wasin collegein the late '60's. If you are a parent.During my four yearsof educationcourses. or environment wasthe primary determinerof behavior. It's unnerving to think that our childrert comeas theyare and that we have somewhatlimited influenceon their behavior. don't ever remember I hearingthat nature." like "You.Thesefolk are the friends." " ALIhe needs grandma's is spatulaon lusbottom." Many of us do our own shareof'reprobablywell acquaintedwith child-rearingexperts believe in this theory.minimizing or excludingconsideration of a neurological make-up.UNoERSInNDING Dtsonopn THer Mnxes Us FEErrHE Lnzy." Theory of Blame This theory holds that the only reasonable explanationfor misbehavior or leaming problemsis that someone. Srupro on Cnazy ? The questionof nature versus nurture has alwaysbeen tricky. This rather limited view of human behaviormay be fosteredby the value \Testem culture placeson self-determination. too toughon him. I wastaught that behaviorand leaming problemsresultedin largepart 'Was from emotional and environmental factors.Unaware of the underlyingADD.Our analysis by focuses on the impact of environment. is doing something wrong." ere "YoLr aren'ttough enough onhim. ZT . usuallya parent.d neverbehaue that in my house.or inbom genetics playedany role at all in leamingproblems. we often grow up blaming our problemson our upbringing and believing that everything wrong in our lives is caused our dysfunctionalfamilies. a death in the family or a divorcel The underlyingphilosophyof my training wasthat nurture. especially beforewe leam about our disorder. there a new babv in the home. who family and teachers who eagerlyoffer unwantedcommentsand advice about the correct method for raisingyour children: "He woul.the theme of respecting individual differences wasan integral part of my "methods"courses.

a high percentage adoptedchilment.Warm.The studyfound that the for twins sharedcharacteristics such asa preference cold coffeeand wearingthree rings on one hand and four on the other. or has Relatedresearch focusedon inbom wet diaper.l. When research studiedthe birth parentsand families of theseadoptedADD children. The New York Longitudinal Study" followed a large temperament. up Children with to adjust difficulty new situations from withdraw new expeflences quietly withdraw from change well adjust eventually Difficult Children irregular have eating patterns andsleeping poor display adaptability respond with high intensity 0verreact t0 sensory stimulation generally have negative moods levels have activity high 72 . groupof children frorn birth until late adolescence.The research findings raisedcritical questions about environment asthe primary influenceon personalirydevelopment. Thesefindings point to a geneticbasisfor the syndrome.You MEaNI'vt Not Lazv. indicate that heredity has a strongerinfluence on ADD than environof that areunclear.SruptoOn Cnnzvl! adoption studiesn Although the jury may be out foreveron this issue. Many other studiessupportthe theory of a strongheredity component. positive display moods reactions and Slow. etc. For reasons parentshave a low incidence dren haveADD even though their adoptive has of the disorder. Three groupsof from the research: different temperamental stylesemerged Easy Children well adapt to routines adjust quickly fairly to change mild show to moderate levels intensity of for cryonly specific needs: hunger. A University of Minnesotastudypublishedin 1988examinedthe were identical twins who The subjects effectof genes personality. it hasfound a high incidenceof ADD. on at had been separated birth and rearedapart.

Pregnancy and Childbirth Complications No one is sureabout the relationshipbetweenbirth complications. Some expertsconsiderADD an extremein the rangeof normal temperamental differences. It doesappear. ADDers often fall into the categoryof with difficult children. or other pollutants in causing exacerbating to that they might play a part asother substances k's reasonable suspect damage. One third of of children with lead poisoninghave symptoms ADD. their irregularpattems of the of reacting. Since definitions of ADD have changed newly diagnosed over time. do. Although a parent can influa ence the developmentof his child. particularlyregardinghyperactivity..prethere is evidence of natal factorsand ADD.rHE THnr M.Sruptoon Cnezv UNorRsrnNDrNG DrsoRoEn As infants and young children. most children with historiesof prenataland childbirth complihowever. s{le that This research emphasizes a child is bom with a temperamental that remainsremarkablystableover time.and sleepingresemble symptoms ADD. It is undoubtedly Othersspeculate are true rhar environmentalhazards threateningour health. Most peoplewith ADD don't have a history of theserisk factors. maof or temal ageof twenty or less. Although not all difficult children have ADD. the that pre andpostbirth problemsincrease infant'srisk of developing symptoms ADD. diagnosticmethodshave identified children with more subtle improved forms of the disorder. in variouspattemsof neurological 73 .long labor. In a smallpercentage cases. The risk factorsinclude poor matemal health.Conversely. In one group of young children later diagnosed of had symptoms their disorder ADD.t' asmany as 70olo demonstrated by agetwo or earlier. The role of ADD is a big questionmark. percentage ADDers.eating. he can't cause difficult disposition.that early damage cationsdon't developADD.fetal distress post-maturity. of to the CNS is a factor in a small Environmental Toxins in There is ongoing debateabout an increase the numbersof children with ADD.lres FEsrUs's difficult to analyze but Somearguethat the incidencehasn't increased that this increase. that environmentaltoxins play a role.

Alan Toffler'5predictedthat dire psychological consequences would resultfrom the rapid changes modem society. Many people regarded has asentirely normalin a simplersociety.mnliciouslyplanne misb d ehavi or.Someparentsare convinced that sugarin their particular. developed special a diet to eliminate food additivesand salicylates. The diet doesseemto relieve the symptoms about 5o/o ADD children. For years.Scientific studiesaside. Just a Bad Apple \7e doubt that anyoneis doing research this popular. Additives and Sugar Have you seenthe cartoon illustrating a mother in the grocerystore with her hyperactivechild?\XAile he runs up and down the aisles.You MpaNI'v Nor L. number of parentsand professionals a have sworn by the Theoryof FoodDyes."a pediatricianand allergist.makestheir children hyperactive. in The Theoryof InformanonExplo.could becomeoverwhelmedby the demands a fast-paced.that they could make the symptoms more noticeableand disabling.. she "This cerealwill take the hyperreadsthe label on a box that promises: activity right out of them!" If only it weretrue.Addinues andSugarasthe cause ADD.unscientific on goeslike this: The enaticbehnq)ior '\DD children adulx is theory! It of and intenti onal. In his book Fuune society Shoclc. This doesn'tmean that the psychological hazards cause ADD.sion validity. testedwith little corroborationof The.if a particularfood or additive seems contribute to symptoms. Dr. SruproOn Cnazv?! Food Dyes.+zv.etheorieshave been repeatedly proponents'findings. Lendon Smithtaholds in of that the primary culprit in ADD is the consumptionof a largequantity of refined sugar. There may be a subgroup ADDers of who aresensitiveto somefood substances. of complex one. It doesseemlogical. Dr. This variation on the theme of the Theoryof Blameis basedon the assumption that an ADDer can control his behaviorbut chooses not 74 . Benof jamin Feingold. Information Explosion Somebelievethat "psychological hazards" our increasingly of complex contribute to the higher incidenceof ADD.however. makes to it to sense eliminate it from the diet.

here are some guesstimates. \ . you didn't askto be bom this way but you do need to work hard to shoot holes in this theory. SruprooRCRRzy to.UNornsrnNDrNG DrsonogR rsg THRI Mnrrs Us Frel Ltzy. Of course. How Common is ADD? How many of us arethere?Is ADD common?We have to say. A11of us need to develop to strategies manageour symptoms-but we need to do it with selfEverypersonwith a disability has to make and forgiveness.somewhat that we don't have the answerto thesequestions!But apologetically. z5 .Using your disorderasan for behaviordoesn'thelp your personalgrowth and excuse irresponsible gives the BadAppl" theoristsammunition.thesetheoristsdon't have ADD and don't have a clue what it's like to live with the disorder. 4 vi : - As an ADD adult. acceptance the best of the cardshe'sbeen dealt.

most research focusedon children and hasn't included adolescent has and adult subjects.many of us are too busydealingwith our disorderto debatetheseissues. or at leaststronglysuspect.I discovered that I had ADD and beganeducatingmyselfabout the disorderin adults. KK: "My experience has heightenedmy awareness about the prevalence of ADD in adults. Studiesthat include individuals to of prevalencefigure. statisticsand the existenceof ADD in adults. z6 . know.You MEnNI'r'rNor Lnzv. no The nature of our hidden handicapand our ability to manage sympour tomshave fooled scientists into thinking ADD is just for kids.SruproOn Cnezv?! The prevalence literature vary widely figuresreportedin professional from 1olo Z0o/o the population. Second. We that we are SrilJ ADD After AILTheseYears. there is a lack of agreement about symptorns.The result is adultswho still have ADD but who have leamed to hide or redirect their more obvious symptoms.however.Neurologicalchanges might alsocontribute to someof theseadaptivebehaviors. Someresearch studies include individualswithout hyperactivityand somedon't.Three yearsago I beganteachingin a small liberal arts college. And we're strugglingdaily with the realiry of this disorderin our lives. Am I Still ADD After All These Years? \X/hile the expertsexaminedefinitions.The estimateacwithout hyperactivirycite a Z0o/o (in ceptedmany professionals a conservative our opinion) 3-5o/o. Until fairly recently."But why?"may be on the tip of your tongue. one waslistening. As children we may have worn ow '\DD on oLLr sleeues we bounced off walls as and destroyed everything in sight.A year into my teaching.!7hy is there so little consensus? First. The lack of consensus about diagnosticcriteria and a somewhatlimited number of studieswith ADD adultshas resultedin statisticsthat vary from studyto study. is Your question.\Ue've been trying to tell everybody with our wordsand behaviorsthat we haven't maturedout of this "childhood disorder". By the time we becomeadults.most of us have leamedto channel someof the energyinto more sociallyacceptedactivities.

Many had leamedto in quite well but becamedisorganized novel and stressful compensate situationssuch asthe start of new nursingclinical rotations. With one exception. tappedtheir pencilsor doodled.ruE Llzv. I have little doubt that severalof them will have distinguished careers. becameacutelyawareof studentsin my classes who were like me.but authors Kelly and Ramundoare ADDers who are neither boysnor children! The assumption that many more boysthan girls have ADD.After the first of two lecture hours. levels. is being challengedasincreasing numbersof adult women are newly diagnosed. Little girls with ADD tend to be lessphysically hyperactiveand aggressive than ADD boys. Th"y are representative many adultswho copesuccessfully of with ADD. The first thing I noticed wasthe fidgetiness.Th"y may receivelesspunishment and disapproval but than their male counterparts often become lost in the shufrle. hyperactivebut continually jiggled Thesestudentswerenot classically their feet. they would begin to sigh impatiently. as particularly women.creativeapproaches.Their symptoms so subtlethat no one identifies are their problems. blank looks of coninterrupted to askwhat I had just saidor registered fusion." ADD is a Childhood Disorder that Occurs Primarily in Boys 'We hate to break this news to the old-schoo| thought of experts. Somehad difficulty with written work. This is common for many adults. I madethe startling observationthat I could identifu problemsof attention and organizationin studentssolelyon the basisof their activity continually often the brightestin my classes.Th"y alsotended to blurt out irrelevant comments. 27 .the women I identified with probableaftention deficits hadn't been diagnosed children.Srupto on Cnazv UNoERsTRNDING DrsoRognTHRI Mnrrs Us FeEr- I lUith this new understanding. Many of my students wereexcellentleamersand workerswith positivequalitiesof extra energyand fresh. who arejust beginning adult life should take heart from Youngreaders my experiences. their brainsgoing so fast they skippedover transitional ideasor left out important details.Thesestudents. My experience with nursingstudentsbringsme to another point.

t6 Thesestatisticssuggest that the leaming and adjust. This apparentunder-identificationof girls and non-hyperactiveboysis a problem. z8 .SruproOn Cnazy?! Historically.Thesechildren-and adults-have specialneedsthat serious are too often overlooked.The ratio is closerro one:one if ADD without hyperactivity is included. 'We have consideredseveralquestionsthat don't have easyanswers.six times more boysthan girls have been diagnosed with the disorder. "How hasthisdisorder an irnpact mJ life?" had on "How do ^y differences out in my dnily Life?" play "How canI lwlp myselfl" In the next three chapters. Although most of us are uncomfortablewith ambiguity.!7e'11 devotethe remainderof the book to rhe third questionand sharelots of suggestions managingsymproms for and discoveringyour ADDed Dimension.we need to focusour attention on other issues that do have answers. ment problemsof many ADD girls are too subtleto be identified.You MraN I'v Nor Lezy. we'll look at the impact ADD has at various stages life and at the wayseach of us is uniquely differenr from our of non-ADD peers.

tes. my tlwt!" In response the to disapproval JoLLr growing and frustration.It hasbeensaidthat personality of develops around the ADD handicap-the way each of us dealswith our abilitiesand disabilitiesis affected our life experiences. Thesenegativeinterpersonalcyclesbegin early in an ADD child's life and impact in a varieryof wayson her subsequent development. on Many of us have countless childhood memories similar scenes. Youare in the grocerJ storeuying to shopwith your child" is tosslng who oranges dcross produce the aisleand pulling rhings the shelq.CHaprEn 3 Thelrnpacf of Growing witheDD Up R"*"-ber the Theory of Blame?Blame often fuels a deadlycycle of disapproval. Considerthe following scene.ow child to act Lil<e. The parentsblame the teachers their for incompetence. by 29 . Sheresponds eitherby throwingan orange Jou or at writhingin a ternper tantrLun thefloor. Thesenegativecyclesof interactionsand reactionsresult from blame. And everyone blamesthe child. ADD adultshave to copenot only with individual symptoms also but with the negativereactions others. teIIhersheis an embarrassment you've justabouthad" with her and it obnoxious behauior.We of werereactingpredictablyto the ADD wiring in our brainswhile our parentswere trying to do the best they could in a tough situation."I would" never all. Jou angrilygab Jour childand. are off You keenlyawareof the disapproving glares other shoppers of and"hear seueral muttered. Teachers an underachieving of studentblamethe parentsfor not properly supportingthe child's leaming.

SruproOn Cnazy?! To examineADD's impact at different ages and stages life.During rheseearly months.m.Many of our owrr mothersmight still talk rwenty or thirty yearslater about how difficult we werebeforewe wereboml Even in utero. Somemothersof ADDers speak ruefullyof the pregnancy asa training period for the lifetime ro come! Sleepless nights and harried daysbecomea way of life asthe parenr copeswith irregulareating and sleeping patterns. holding In her screaming daughterseems make things worse. 3:00 a. shehas little control over her world and relieson caregivers fo1h9r safetyand security. This is a time for gaining self-con.soothing. The backdropwill be the Cycle of Blame and Disapproval that makesgrowing up with ADD so difficult. can play out quite differently in the houseThe ADD Infant: This stage hold of an ADD baby. Shame and Doubt From about 12 months to 3 W.It isn't uncomto mon for this mother to saylarer that her baby"jusr didn't like her". Developmental Ages and Stages and the Cycle of Disapproval Infancy-Thrst vs.But parenrand babydevelopa happycoexisrence. Mistmst This first stagelastsroughly through the first year of life.Their parenrsfeel a mixture of anger.disappointmentand self-blame their own apparenr at incompetence.allowing them little sleep. fact.Her infant tendsto be over active. The infant's world is filled primarily with sensory experiences. frameworkof psychosocial development.the toddler develops waysof acting on and reactingto her world.yearcold.You MraN I'u Nor Lazy. feedingsand fatigue. trol and a sense pride asshebeginsto make choices. of 30 . Difficult infants are uncomfortableand unlwppy. someADD babiescontinually kick their morhers. Especially the early in months. we'll borof row psychologist Eric Erikson'st? Dr.easilystimulatedand loud! Her attemprsro calm and comfort her babyarefrequentlyunsuccessful. th. many babiesand their familier. Toddler Years-Autonomy vs.dressing. cranky. stage For of infancy meansfrequentdiapering. the dynamicsof ADD already begin to have a negativeimpact on family relationships.

to Once mobile.I clearlyremember yelling.THeIupncr Or GnowrNcUp Wrru ADD During this time. masters word "NO!" and acquiies She the the behaviorsshe'll need for admissioninto the elite Tenibl^e club. oo. not more stitches!" And I alsoremembermy morher looking ar my bloody eye and saying.For many.shealways ran.jumps and swings herselfinto situationsthat strike teffor in her parent's heart. This_frstadalescerrce the powerstruggles and that ensueareremarkably similar to the one that followsabout ten or twelve yearslaterl Parents cling with desperate hope to the folk wisdomabout the Terrible 2'snot lasting forever.This is often a mixed blessingfor her parentswho are led on a merry chase "My child never ! walked. conscientious parent can becomedisheartened her child'sseemat ing unwillingness follow rules. Even the most consistent. PR: "l have a vaguememoryfrom when I was 18 months old. But I vividly recall an accidentseveral yearslater that wasbut one in a long string of injuries.impulsivetoddlersand preschoolers are more likely to have accidents and accidentalpoisonings than nonADDers.The ADD toddler also rolls. of a room with yellow tile and a red lollipop in the corner of my mourh. or The ADD Tbddler:The battle of wills betweenthe ADD child and her family really heatsup during this stage." is a common refrain. "oh. That's all I rememberabout that early emergency room visit that ended with five stitchesin my rongue. Hyperactive. climbs. the ADD toddler may be somewhat lessfussyasshediscoversthe excitement of new worlds to conquer. shedevelopslanguage skills and struggles separafor tion from her caretakers. Tempersflare as rhe child's negativepersistence poor adaptabilityclashes and with parentalattemptsto contain the out-of-controlbehaviors. It requiresenormous patience as they attempt to guide their children'seffor$ towardsindependence without beingover-controlling protective. Z's She'sno longer totally dependenron others and beginsto jockey for power in the family unit. As I crashedthrough my neighbor'swhite picket fence.this is a difficult period. "Not again!" 3I .

someoneelse. And I only have one child-I can hardly imagine how my pregnantmother managed all.r t. shewould tie me to a tree in the yard so I wouldn't hurt myselfor . homesof thesetoddlersmight not be The 3Z .I could empathizewith the frustration my mother must have felt. with her 1 year old daughter at and veryhyperact 2 yearoldl" we SomeADDers are rather calm and placid asinfants and toddlersonly to wakeup later aspreschoolers. this day.You MenNI'v Nor Lnzy. The experience made a lasting impression.I have a fear of plugging To in anything electrical! I have been told that when my mother wasfeeling particularly desperate.SruproOn Cnnzy?! KK: "One of my more memorableemergency room visits resulted from plugginga barbecue fork into an electrical outlet.\Uhen I first heard this story I washorrified! After I becamea parent myself.

just a few hours with the child in The working parent usuallyspends the early evening. for The ADD Preschooler: this point in an ADD child's life.The power struggles that have been raging for a while. building with blocksand developingfriendships. daughteris her wanderingaround aimlessly. Somepreschoolers continue to have irregulareating and sleeping pattems and resistall attemptsat toilet training.Misunderstandings frequently erupt betweenthe parentsof this child.Through daily trial and error.THEIupncr Or GnowrNcUp tJilrruADD battle zonesbut can bear a striking resemblance designated to disaster areasafter a major storm! Debris from toys and belongingsare often strewnall over the houseby the distractibletoddler assheflits from one activity to another. he profuselyapologized his for earlier.has a clear sense herselfasseparate of from others and beginsto developfeelingsof empathy.After about three weeksat home with his ADD toddler. the parBy ent knows that the folk wisdom isn't true. she gainsan awareness her position in the schemeof of things and assumes someresponsibility her behavior.unfair assessment his wife'sparentingskillsl of Preschool-Initiative vs. The ADD child's lack of control getsin the way of her establishinga healthy sense independence of and creates serious feelingsof inad"q. escalate. She has mastered her autonomy.This parent can be unsympatheticro rhe complaints of the exhaustedspouse who spent all day with the difficult toddler.racy in her parents. The Terrible 2'sshould be over by now but her child is aswillful and difficult asever. One stay-at-homemother reportedthat the best thing that ever happenedwasher husband's losing his 1ob. Motor clumsiness alsobecan comemore apparentasthe older preschooler undertakes complex the 33 . She worriesthat while other children are coloring. The parenr often feelsthat she is fighting a losing battle againsther child's inabiliry ro plan and acceptlimits. Guilt The preschoolchild leams to make increasinglypurposefuldecisions and behavioralchoicesduring this stagein her development. particularly if one parent isn't working outside the home.

I could hardlycontain my joy at the prospect! \7ith my son in tow. While my friendssharedtheir anxietiesabout leavingtheir children.SrupinOn Cnazy?! tasksof dressing and tying shoes."l don't want to leave.The evaluationrarelyyieldsany information about a specific\earing loss.don't seemto sufferfrom the separation anxiety characteristic of their age-mates. I didn't feel any better when I returnedto pick him up.The fact-findingmissionto the audiologist usually is unproductive. This trip to the audiologist often overlaps multiple visits to the pediatrician for recurringboutsof otitis media (middle ear infections). a parent decides find out why her daughterdoesn'tlisten and to follow directions. at Interestingly. coloring and writing. must admit that I I wasn'tprepared my feelings for when Jeremy into his new classroom." Many parentsbegin their searchfor answers the riddle of their ADD to child during the preschoolyears. After dodging preschoolers leapingjoyfully into their mothers' arms.You MEnNI'v Nor Lazy. cutting.fierce independence seems to smooth the ffansition from home to preschool. ran never even tuming aroundat the door to saygoodbye I wonderedwhy ! he wasn'tjust a little sadaboutleavingme.I greeted son my who lookedat me and said. PR: "l countedthe daysuntil my youngson would start nurseryschool.It's a word that her parentswill probablyhear for yearsto come! In a preschool setting. Developmental lagsin speech language or can also 34 . The preschool teacheris usuallythe first personto describe ADD the child asimmature. The early. On the adviceof the preschoolteacher.many immatureADD children who often have difficulty with change.the age-inappropriatenessthe of child'sbehavioris particularlynoticeable. I hunied pastseveraltearful mothersasupsetas their children wereaboutthe impendingseparation.The temporaryhearinglossthat accompanies theseear infectionsconffibutesto the ADD child'sdifficultiesin listeningand following directions in preschool.Thntrumsthat werenormal during the Terrible 2'sare an embarrassment 3 or 4 yearsold.

This is when the of proverbialyouknow whathits the fan for many children with attention deficits. Elementary School-Industry vs. Not only is there a strongcorrelationbetweenADD and middle ear infections. a She is expectedto learn specific skills and demonstrate knowledge in measurable her ways.however.As an ADD child makesthe transition to the next stage.Children who are for whatever reason. to In elementaryschool. The placedon young children take into accountthe wide difdemands ferences betweenindividual children of the sameage. The School-AgedADD Child: The philosophyof earlyeducationis to teach children generalskills through exposure varied experiences.unable to masterthe requiredskills. asthmaand other problems.there is alsoa high incidenceof allergies. The parent might find herself visiting the audiologistagainfor her child's language therapy and ear tubesto prevent additional she encountersincreasingpressure competeand perform sociallyand to academically.lessproblematicthan the schoolyearsthat follow.Preschoolteachers expectchildren to be at differentstages social.The respiratory familiesof ADD preschoolers often spend hours in physicians' waiting rooms! The preschoolyearsaren't necessarily easyonesfor ADD children but are in general. often develop a sense inferiority.the ruleschange.The grades marked on her papersand report cardsreflecthow shemeasures 35 .Tur Ivpncr Or GnowrNcUp Wrru ADD occur if the infections becomechronic. to \Tithin the preschoolenvironment.Suddenly.emotionaland academic of development. tests. Expectations changedramaticallyasthesechildren move into elementary school.the ADD preschooler's deficitsmay be relativelyhidden or ascribed immaturity.the curious preschoolerbecomes studenr.Freedomof choice is built in to the structureof early childhood education. Inferiority The elementary schoolyearsare critical onesasthe developingchild beginsthe process acquiringthe skills sheneedsto take her place in of society.

as of Th. Thesemeasurements include specificsubjectsaswell aseffort and conduct. Many ADD children have trouble leaming in traditional classrooms whereteachers talk and studentlisten.y often find it difficult to measwe up. SruproOn Cnnzy?! up to classmates. 36 . becomes risk for failure and subsequent of she at loss selfesteem.You MenNI'ruNor Lxzy. The overuse written testsand of one word answers measures leaming addsto their problems. As demandsfor perforrnanceand comparisonsto peersincrease.

the other hand.reserved children asweird.she she may begin to fail. Parentsoften saytheir greatest concem is their daughter's lack of friends. formation she misses. The complexity of details and demandsfor instant memory recall tax her fragile skills. may spendtheir recess by they times playing alone. on Teachers often misunderstandthe confusionthesechildren feel and comment that they aretoo smartto be acting sodumb. the "bullies" seemto have somewhatlesstrouble than their "weird" counterparts. Faulty assumptions relegare rhis ADD child ro rhe lowest readingand math groupswhere she is never expectedto accomplish very much. 37 . testingrarelyuncovers attention deficits. As she movesup through the gradelevels. impulsiveand hyperactive children arecharacterized asbullies and the non-hyperactive. she might sufferprecisely On because can get by. An impulsiveADD child often spends much time in the hall or as principal'soffice asshe doesin her classroom! The frustratedteacher sometimes suggests the disruptivestudentbe evaluatedbVthe school that psychologist.The impaired socialskills of non-hyperactive ADD children (who are often girls) resultsin lonely isolation.Information that seems clear on Monday is suddenlyincomprehensible Tuesday.she is accused carelessness. This litany is a constanttheme in the lives of ADD schoolchildrenwhose qualiry of work variesfrom day to day. the child receives placementin a specialclass the emoa for tionally or behaviorallydisturbed. flaky or nerdy.THr Iupncr Or GnowrNcUp lhrH ADD Strong verbal skills can help an ADD studentfill in the gapsof the in. Peers often admire or at leasttolerate rowdinessmore than they do eccentricity. In socialsituations. More often The the than not.Although many ADD children experiencesocialproblems.This often leadsto the label of "underachiever". "Help" often comesin the form of lecturesabout her lack of effort. Ostracized classmates. A child with lessability often escapes criticism that plaguesthe the underachieverbut she may be written off and missthe opportunity to reachher potential. As the quantity of requiredwritten work exceeds abiliry to produce. her of poor motivation and irresponsibility.

the other hand. school and in the neighborhood. there are many creative.The dawdling and ! for-work-parents. Relationshipson the home front can also be shaky. often getsits start in The I dan'tcareattttudeperfected adolescence.her tired brain givesout.shecan becomea leaderwhen the group discovers that her ideasare interestingand fun. physicalprowess the soccer baseball provide an opportunity for success acceptance..I Momings choresand homeworkundermineparent-childrelationships.You MEaNI'v Nor Lazv. it The behaviorseems reflecta feelingof: I can'tl<eeDup anJ more. classmates often do. shedevelops If adequate socialskills.The chancesare good that the child will walk through the door with a displayof her worst behavior. The picture isn't totally glnonry. The youngADD child startsconstructinga shieldto protect herselffrom embarrassment.shefacesa double-whammy failure. crazy opThe elementaryschoolyearscan be very difficult. They know that a greatimagination comesin handy at recess. Her creativity and imaginationcan be valuableassets.. to justhaveto beme. The ensuingbattles over now that I'm safeat home. by childhood.her parent or babysitter inner strength. On and in if an ADD child makeshumiliating mistakes kickball and on the of math test. Thankfully. \il/ith anticfor might start searching ipation of her arrival. Although the teachermight not appreciate ADD child's improbabletalesor detaileddrawings the of monsters.Her peersmay ridicule her in classand reject her everytime they chooseplayersfor their teams-and chooseher last.Even if an ADD child fails in excellingat extra-curricular field can on or her academically. Author Ramundo'sson has worked with several.huueuer. There are endless portunities for humiliation at home.At the end of his primary 38 . After hours of working hard just to tread water. of the can be just asdifficult asthe ADD child anticipates stresses the procrastinationdrive her harried.latecoming day.Often the ADD child falls apart when she comeshome from school.outstandingteacherswho appreciate and respectthe ADD student'sunique talents and gifts.SruptoOn Cnazv?! The drive to be competent in the school yearsincludesa keen interest activities.

the process anotherteacher the and" begins again.The baggage negativefeelingsshecarries of from childhood addsto ever increasing feelingsof inadequacy. The things I taught him don'r comparero the things he taught me aboutchildrenwith learningdifferences. often concludes her in she that shehasfailed. l)ue to the sheernumbers students. in socialrelationships extra-curricular and activities. The physicalenvironments largejunior and hlgh schoolbuildings of can be impossibly distracting-hundreds of studenrs move about. for The ADD Adolescent: Research shownthat adolescents has with ADD are at greaterrisk for loweredschoolachievement.Although theseare important issues the school-age for child."l thoroughlyenjoyedhavingJeremy my in class.She measures self-worthprirnarily and her by her success academics.'. difficultieswith aitention. concentration and impulsivitygenerally persist.During this time.his teacher said. prefile pareresearch papers.tnke notes.THr Ivpncr OpGnowrNc Wrru ADD Up cycle. But this is how it feelsfor the ADD adolescentwho keeps falling off the conveyorbelt-she simply can'r regroup fast enoughto keepup. Although hyperactivitymay have decreased. the adolescenr struggles to feel successful competent. popquiTTes written exams. We hope that our metaphordoesn'toffendreaders who arejunior or seniorhigh schoolteachers.conueJor beltsrapidlymovethe stud. School often becomes nightmareof unattainable a goalsevenforADD reens who managed survivein elementary to school. 39 . they have enormous significance the adolescent.ents their hastilygathered and materials another rc work sffidonin the assembly plant.ents in to the classroom." Adolescence-Identity vs. and nke and After 50 minutes. of educarion ar this level resembles assembly an line: Stud. suspension from school. Confusion for Tbit is a period of searching an identity and experimentingwith different waysof behaving. real the textbook. Iisten.lockers slamand bellsring. the ADD adolescenr As measures success the three important areas. At the next stetion. pushes barningbuttonof the nixt subject.anti-social activity and poor peerrelationships.

somemay decideto give up on and quietly retreat from interpersonal the idea of peer acceptance Others develop an attitude-at leastthat's how relationships. . peerpressure considerthe possibilityof ADD. Instead. theseADD teens. ADD adolescents ically. \Tithout question." lpss time sociali7ing.the peergroup is of primary importanceto adolescentswho expendgreatenergytrying to fit in. If she than her school . At this point in their lives.academically. characterize parentsand teacherssometimes .SruploOn Cnnzv?! The heavy demandson fragile memory writing and organization skills can overwhelm the ADD student who previouslysurvivedor and parentsrarely Teachers perhapseven excelled.You MEnNI'u Nor Lxzv.many don't do any better sociallythan they do academ.they assume is causingthe new academicfailure: "Youknowhow a teenager Slrecares moreaboutherfnenls isJ wouldiustburkle down atd spend work. Unfortunately.

TUEIupncr Or GnowrNcUp WrrH ADD

Failing at home, schooland with peers, they work at perfectingthe "l don't care" attitude they beganfosteringin childhood. This bravado of beingbadoften emerges cover up social and performancedeficits. to There is usuallya high school peer group who shares this attitude toward school and adult authority. Believing shehas no orher viable options, the ADD adolescenr may gravitate to this group. She hopes to finally find a measure peer acceprance. of Normal adolescence a time for experimentationasteenagers is struggle to define their identities and separate themselves from their paren6. The impulsive ADD adolescent who experiences failure in every area of her life might take this experimentationto an exrreme.The porential for serioustrouble is real if sheexperimentswith drugs,sexor other risky behaviors. W"henan ADD child becomes adolescent, parentstake an her a deepbreath and hope their growing child can successfully negoriare the hazards. The transition to adulthoodis generallya challengeeven for a welladjustedadolescent. Balancingthe need to break awayfrom parenm with a continued need to be caredfor, is tricky. This paradoxis especially confusingfor an ADD adolescent. Although she may balk at rules and authority, shesecretlyfearsthat she won't be able to make it on her own. She is painfully awareof her shortcomingsand knows that sheneedsto dependon her parentsfor so many things. She is overwhelmedar the prospectof taklng responsibility for the details in her life. How can she manageher life ,rh..t shecan't even manage her homeworkassignments? Emancipationfrom parentsis generallystormyasshebattlesher parents and her fearsof failure.The markedirritability of earlier childhood often developsinto intenseadolescent rebelliousness argumenand tativeness. The normal moodiness this stageis magnifiedin an ADD of teenagerand contributesto the tenseatmosphere within her family. The picture isn't totally gloorny,hupeqten For someADDers, adolescencecan be a time of discovering specialtalentsand abilities.A gift for writing, math, art, physicalprowess mechanicscan rescueheror she might gain statuswithin her peer group and usefulskills for adulthood. Somesociallyskilled ADD adolescents becomequite popular with peerswho admire their energyand sparkle.


You MreN I'v Not Lnzv,SruptoOn Cnazvl!

An early diagnosisand long-term supportivetreatment can help the weather this difficult stage.Without ADDer successfully adolescenr thesefactors,the joumey is much more difficult, but not impossible! are difficulties,most ADD adolescents able In spiteof long-standing grow up and join the majority of ADD to uncovertheir abilities.They adults who are self-supporting. Adulthood entersadulthood. demandscontinue asthe ADD adolescent Escalating with many symptomsof her disorder.And of course, She still struggles with her. of baggage failure and low self-esteem she carriesthe excess when shefinishesher school career. don'r magicallydisappear These eatingat The ADD adult might still find herselfaloneon tlrcplaygroLLnd, go her deskwhile her colleagues out to lunch together.She remainsaloof she because can't trust her socialskills.Her erraticattention,faultymemory and inabiliry to readsocialcuesimpairher ability to participate in the give and take of conversations.

Tur Iupacr Or GnowrNcUp Wrru ADD

The grown-upADDer often has trouble working steadilyon the job, especially the work is boring or repetitious. if She mentally drifts off, distractedbv the samethings that have alwaysderailedher. Inconsisrency can affectthe qualiryof her work. When shewasa studenr,shetumed in late projects.Now shemisses deadlines and business appointments. Although shedoesn'trun aroundher office, shemight fidget a lot and makenumerous trips to the watercooler.Her coworkers might complain that shedoesn'tdo her shareof the work because seems it she'salwavs doing somethingother than working. Argumentswith spouses coworkers and and yelling matcheswith children can becomea way of life for someADDers. The short fusethat caused tempertantrumsin childhood can now createproblemsof intensified,negativeinterpersonal relationships. The adult with ADD experiences world differentlythan orhers the and externalizes experiences, her frequentlyblaming everythingon factorsoutsideherself.She is so distractiblethat she isn't withier long to Unable ro process emotions feelings enough dealwithher emotions. very well and blaming the world for her problems, might experience she explosiveoutbursts depressive or episodes. During theseperiodsshe can barelyfunction at all. Impulsivebuying can creategrowingdebt and financial hardship.A pattem of living for the moment with little attention to rhe future, makes household budgeting and long-termplanning,difficult. Savings accounts might be non-existent.Credit cardsmight exceedtheir limiti. Financialplanning and guardianship the children might be left to for fate,with no consideration a will. Impulsivity and a needfor intense of experiences often result in risky,thrill-seekingbehavior.This might be a factor in the high incidenceof auto accidentsin the ADD population. ADD adultsarealsoat somewhat greater for substance risk abuse. Impulsivity,socialisolationand an inability to handle emorionscan makethe escape alcoholor drugsparricularlytempting.There might alsobe a of biologicalpredisposition substance for abuse, this questionhasn'r but been adequately researched.


You MpnNI'u Not Lnzy.SruproOn Cnezy?!

Adulthood is a mixed-bag.ADD doesseemto improve with agebut in many cases doesn'tgo awayentirely. Research suggests that about half of ADD adults are sufficiently well adjustedthat their symptomscause little or no trouble.te isn't clearwhetherthe symptoms It actuallydiminish or if the ADD adult has leamed to managethem better.Marital instabiliry,frequentjob changes, substance abuseand an increased number of auto accidentsare common characteristics ADD adultswho conof tinue to struggle with severe symptoms. There are somevariablesthat seemto have an impact on adult outcome. Th"y include:intelligence,socialskills,socioeconomic family status, mental health and aggression. general,intelligent children with In good socialskills and a mentally healthy family of higher socioeconomic statushave the bestprognosis. The variable of aggression seems to be a predictor of a pooreroutcome in adulthood.Successful adjustment in adulthood is seriouslycompromised2o ADDers who displayagfor gressive behaviorsin childhood. Adulthood is challengingfor ADDers. \7e arc funcrionaldysfuncrionnls, strugglingwith roller coasterlives we rarely understand.\7e are high smkes'folk with the potential for both disaster and hitting the jackpot! The picture isn't totally glnomy,howeeer.Many ADD adults lead productivelives by usingtheir particularstrengths. Deficits can become assets. Hyperactivity can translateinto incredible productivity and impulsivity into a strongneed for closure-getting the job finished by the deadline.The risk-taking behavior that givesa parent a heart attack can becomea sourceof pride when the child growsup. She takes the big risk that puts her on the map or makesher a millionaire! Excitability can becomesparkle, decidedadvantage socialsituaa in tions and the workplace.Persuasiveness animation are assets and in public relations,sales and advertising. Adults with ADD often shine in thesefields.High struogrcreativeADDers can be exciting presenters and welcomechanges from calm, placid speakers who bore their audiences death. to The ADD child who spenther school yearsin a fantasyland can leam to useher mental free flight in the creative process. This ability to see


THpIupncr Or GnowrNcUp Wrrn ADD

the big picture is valuablein jobs requiring vision and creativiry.Many of us usethis ability to assume positionsof influence. If we leam to make our wanderingminds obey us, they can becomepowerful tools. The restless, jobs that make novelty seekingadult can avoid sedentary her symptomsso difficult to manage.A friend loveshis 1obasa long distancetrucker. He doeshave to sit for a long time but doesn'thave to worry about bothering anyonewith his singing,tapping and wiggling. And he likes the sensationof movement.Another acquaintance has tumed her excess energyinto a lucrativesideline,renovatingold houses in her free time. ITithout a correct diagnosis, many of us may blame our behaviorson depression, anxiety, traumatic life eventsor lack of character.Understandingthat thesebehaviorsare symptoms a central nervoussystem of disordercan have a powerful impact on thesefaulty assumprions. This knowledgecan radically changeour self-perceptions we can leam so to blend in with the rest of humanity. !7e can leam not onlv to survive but to excel!

"Some forms of the disorder dre more disorilerly than others." An ADD adult recently made this interestingobservation.It really capturesthe essence the complexity of ADD. If ADD were a matrer of of symptoms slotted into the three broaddiagnosticcategories, would it be far easierto understand. Figuring out how ADD adults rick, however,isn't nearly this straighr. forward.The disorderis severelydisablingfor someADDers and much lessso for others.To understandhow ADD playsour in individual lives, we need to explore the behavioraldifferences the disorder. of In the next chapter we'll usetheseunique differences understand to why we ADDers behaveaswe do. This will provide the starting place for identifiiing your particular strengthsand weaknesses beginning and your process recovery. of


CHaprpn 4

How We Are Different?
llow We tre [iffenent?
HowAreWe Dtffercnt?
If yo., have ADD, your disordermakesyou different. There'sno doubt about it. You come into the world with differences that are part of the wiring of your brain. Not only are you different from others who don't have ADD, you are alsodifferent from others who do.

Different Doesn't Mean Defective
Yes,eachof us is differentbut differentdoesn'tequaldefective.It's foolish to ignoreour differences pretendthey don't exist.It's equally or foolish to focusexclusively the debit sideof thosedifferences. on Although our lives would probablybe easierwithout ADD, they wouldn't be more valuable. In the first chapterwe examinedthe three broadcategories ADD of symptoms. Now we'll enlargethe discussion considerthe impact to thesesymptoms have in your daily life. You'll learn about your disabilities. You'll alsolearn aboutyour abilities-abilities that are someyour symptoms timeshidden by the problems cause.

So How Do the Differences Affect ADD Adults?
Although we talk of ADD asa distinct disorder, makesmore sense it to think of it asa syndrome:a group of symptomsthat tend to occur together.The concept of a syndromeseems appropriateway of an thinking about a centralnervoussystem that doesn'twork quite right.


How AnEWE DrmntNr?

Researchers disagree about the specificoriginsof ADD bur mosr agreethat the regulatoryfunction of the CNS is somehowerraric and inefficient. !7ith an impaired regulatorysystem,an ADDer may have wildly fluctuating behaviorsfrom day to day or even minute to minute. He may alsohave leaming problemscaused erby ratic attention and information processing. The Wandering Mind Syndrome Most of us have minds that wanderhither and yon. !7e daydream and drift among looselyand tenuouslyconnectedthoughts.As our o*1 thoughts intrude, we changethe subjectand inte.*p, with irrelevantcomments. Regardless the "why" of distractibility, the behaviorsassociated of with it are often mistaken for rudeness eccentri city. Tlw WanAeror ingMind Syndrome, all ADD differences, its plusesand like has minuses. on the minus side,an ADDer might engagein mental free-flight when he should be working. Bosses r.g"id his partially finish.i ,.ports and unretumed phone calls aseviden.. of incompetenceor a poor attitude.In conversations may listen with on" he but con"ur tinue on somelevel to follow his own train of thought. It's obvious to his bossor friend that he isn't all there.His r."*Lg disinterest doesn'twin friendsor influencepeople! On the plus side,he can usehis wanderingmind ro notice things others missand make new and interestingconnectionsbetween ideas. His creativemind can roam beyondconvention into imagination and possibilities. If an ADDer can leam ro conrrol his wanderingthoughtsand cap^ italizeon their richness, can discovera.raluableasiet.Think he about the stereotype the absent-minded of professor the talented or artist who has incredille gifts but stumblesalong trying ro manage the practicaldetailsof life. \7e don't believethisitereoiyp. is mere. ly a myth. If we wereto surveyindividualsin crearivepiofessions, ^of we feel surewe would find a disproporrionare number nnn adults.


Sruptoon Cnazv?! You MrnN I'v Nor L,+zv,

One Channel Operational SYstem \7e Most of us areEqinl Opportunity Attenders. give everything ?ld anyrhing the opportunity to grab our attention! An ineffective filtering systJmnt"ko us vulnerable to distracting stimuli in the environ' ment and in our minds and bodies. and responding It's hard ro get things done when you keepthinking_about diffe."n1 things. The quality of the work you do manageto ro so many your focusis intemrpted so much. accomplisitis often *"rgin"l because juggleseveral things at once' many Although someADDers are able to find this difficult, if not impossible. To accomplishanything, many of us have to operateon o-^lyone channel. Let', .rr" the metafhot of channelson a radio to understandthe dynamicsof One ChsnnelOPeranon. During a drive through the mountains,you may hqve to simultaneously listen io ,",r"r"1 ,t"ti6t s asthey fade in and out. You may spenda lot to of time hitting the scanbutton that is supposed bring in the strongsoonerdo you happily start singing along with your_ est chan."l. No favorite songthan it fadesout as*Jt.ottg"r signaltakesover your radio. The normal brain doesn'tseemto have trouble with channel selection. dinner, he selectsthe food channel. He \7hen a non.ADDer prepares can arrend to this strongiignal and cook the food without buming-it. At the samerime, his biain scansand locatesother strong signals-that channel and bring in imporranr information. He monitors the children argumentensues. switchesto it when a sibling is An abiliry ro rune in severalchannelssimultaneously usefuland to radio in the ADD brain, however,seems have a mal' essential.'The let him switch channelsefficiently. functioning scanbuton that won't Rather th"l" pulling in the strongsignal,it pulls in everychannel with' in a thour"rrd mile radius!He keepi losing track of the channel he's listening to. For many of us, the solution is to tum off the scanbutton. It's the only way ro prevent the weak channelsfrom interfering with our attention to ih" 6ne we're trying to listen to. So we stay tuned in to only one


How AnEWt DrmnrNr?

channel. If we dare switch to the children channel, the pork chops becomedried out, hardenedobjects,permanentlyattachedto the pan we cooked them in! \7e think the one channel phenomenonhas implications for kitchen designers. They really should take a crash.o.,rr. in ADD. If they were awareof this phenomenon,they would never designkitchens wittr large, open spaces preparingdinner and chatting with guesrs rhe ru*i for at time. It may be a greatconcept for non-ADDers. For one channel folk, however,this kitchen designresultsin lousyfood or lousyconversation. Handling both at the sametime is virtually "missionimpossible"! This differencecauses undesirable behaviorsin a one channel ADDer. Demandsto switch channelsare cruel intrusions.He snapsat the interrupting party, snarlsat the personon the phone or losestrack of what he'sdoing. He may tune out the interruption, not even noting it or reacting v-e-py slowly to it ashe undertakesthe arduoustask of switching gears. KK: "'S7"hen worked on a psychiatricunit, I sharedthe responsibility I for answeringthe telephone.I had trouble switching gearsfast enough t9.n1c\ up the phone after a few rings. Often, I never heard it ring ai all. Other staff membersresented*y failure to do my shareof thii 1ob. Th.y mi.stakenly assumed thought I was"roo good" to do this mun. I dane task." An ADDer can be at a disadvantage the workplacewhen he has to in tune in to many channels.The phone,boss and coworker channelsall competefor his attention. Many workerscomplain that numerousinter. ruptionsforce them to bring most of their work home in a briefcase. Thev can't get anyrhing done ar rhe office. The Locking In and Blocking Out Phenomena An int_e_resting correlateto the one channel phenomenonis overpersistence.When an ADDer becomes locked in ro a rask,he can'r ttop. Hi, overpersistence makeswitchinggears can very difficult. It can alsocause a friend, colleague spouse leap to erroneous or to conclusions. "lt's 1. obvioushe can pay attention when he wantsto." 2. "He's so rudel He completelyignoresme."


.But we submit that it's more than that.-b.we can losethe first stepbeforewe can assimilate second..itiveness tasksand short attention spanscharacteristic tence. in a socieryrhar valuesthe ability to bounce many balls and Spouses friends is Overpersisrence definitely a double edged_sword.oblivious *u1rfl at rhe abiliry to sit at a computer tums to annoyance'how' to everything else.ReIo. bad news is that locking-in can be inappropriate..r-ine."ui.ranrage.+zx. It can insulatehim from the wear and tear of handling the flood of incoming information.To scanfor details. may in part result from this 50 . An ADDer expendsgreatenergyand effiortto shut our rhe distractionsof other channels. We find that our brains are uncooperative \7e when we try io absorbmany detailssimultaneously. Overpersistence \7e believe rhar an ADD adult may deliberatelyusethis locking'in ability to shut our rhe rest of the world. the paradoxical could be just Overpersistence Much of ADD behavioris paradoxical.rrsunnoticed through open windowsor the tomado siren evokesnot even a blinkt The good news is that this disability/ability differencecan be usedto The good"ad.rproductive or downright dangerous-in computer insteadof racthe tomado siren-ltcking-in to the *.\fhen we try to the details. A one strategy as channel ADDer may usehis overpersistence a compensatory at one time. may forget remembersequential much of what we seeor hear.With an unfiltered world rushing in to his brain.we have to attend ro numerouspiecesof data. de' for the gestalt(the big picture) over miscellaneous Our preference difficulty with data processing' tails. and write for hours.i consequences! could have disastrous ing for the basement The "I Hate Details" DYnamic Many of us have an aversionto details.andno! of ADDers?We|l. . Aren't unfinished answeris yes. that causeproblemswith Erratic focusand the generaldysregulation seemincompatiblewith overpersisconcentrationand stick-to.rrrt. anotherdifferencethat is at oddswith a "short attention span".Sruploon Cnnzv?! You MEnNI'trlNor L. certain situations.E t ry of this self-absorption ever. .po.*ir".An inability to scanand switch channelsplaysinto this aversion. he has to developsomerather powsensory may be one of them. to er{ul defenses .

What appears be stallingor an apparentunwillingness do someto to thing is often a sign of the superhuman effort requiredto begin concentrating on a new task. Unfiltered visualdistractions can make shoppinga nightmare. useless parricles so the engine can operateefficiently with clean oil. ADefective Filterpermits the "groundsto get mixed .The quantity of choicesis overwhelming and often createsfeelingsof intense anxiety and irritation. to A Defective Filter Another brain function that goesawry in ADD is the filtering mechanism." An ADDer experiences world as a barrageto his senses-noises.It's possible becomemore efficient at self-starting to but it takestime and self-discipline leam this skill. he has to work hard to shut out the rest of the world and t. he may snapar a spouse who makesthe slightest noisein the room.A brain that is working at peak efficiencycan selectwhat it needsto concentrateon and filter out extraneous distractions. Coffeefiltirs per.backgroundnoisescompetefor his attention and interfere with his abiliry ro listen ro rhe r"ilr"r.r* off theother channels.rp with rhe coffee.But 'We're we'renot talking about a conscious decisionto procrastinate.Refocusing painful. the sightsand smellsrush in without barriersor protection.How Anr WEDrrpEnENr? The (Don't Do Today What You Can Put Off Till Tomorrow" Dynamic Many peoplelive by this creed. is sweatand tears. It takesa lot of blood. form a similar function. 51 . talking about the frustration many of us feel every time we rry ro ger startedon anyrhing.The process scanningthe contentsof a largedepartment of store can be agonizing.It works much like the oil filter in a car. During a telephonecall.Normal noise levelscan interferewith his ability to hear conversations maintain or a train of thought.Although an ADDer may do great after he getsgoing.Filing several extensions a federal on income tax filing can put off this oneroustask aslong aspossible. Even in a relatively quiet restaurant. preventing the bitter groundsfrom gerting mixed in with the liquid. It filters out the dirty.

dazzhng 5Z . involving Maintaining emotionson an even keel is an intricate process For by fine adjusrments different partsof the brain and nervoussystem." pets don't have Others saythey don't like livlng with animalsbecause for respect physicalboundaries! Roller Coaster Emotions oNE.with extremealterationsin Feelingstates al roller coasters. \7hen he'shappy. into someoneelse's "Peoplelike me-other ADDers-can One ADDer ruefully observed: drive me crazy. this process ly on his high wire never knowing how he'll feel at a given moment. may bump physicalspacewhile he fiercely protectshis own. \7e do know that ADDers often saythey live on emotion{luctuate.Sruploon Cnnzv?l Touchy Touchability of An ADDer can be very touchy about being touched!His sense touch channelsare.I hate to be touched and they keep bumping into me. Intense INTENSITY Feelings amplified are ADD adultsasintense. The peoplein his life may tiptoe aroundhim. is vulnerableto overstimulation asthe rest of his sensory An intolerance of touch or closephysicalproximity is a fairly common differencenoted by ADD adults. the highs and lows over hoursor even minutes. he of It's ironic that with his poor sense physicalboundaries.rNot Lazv. times the need for physicalspaceis acute and an ADDer simply can't toleratebeing aroundother people. difference. fearinghis next bad mood. tion in ADD.ono*at R'LLER cob$g*s hgDr*'Ltug the We're not exactlysurewhat causes problemswith mood and emo. Peopleoften describe and blastedout with little restraint.The term TactileDefensiveness of found in occupationaltherapy literature.he often captivatespeople with displaysof positive energy. walksprecariousto an ADDer. He seems be dysregulated.W"henan ADDer is angry he might yell or throw things.You MrnN l't. capturesthe essence this At it Similar to most ADD symptoms. waxesand wanes.

rude or abrupt with others.he fusses fumes. Many of us have passionare natures. Unfortunately. Dissatisfaction or Pessimism The moodiness ADD can be expressed generalized in as irritability. There may not be dramaticexplosions temperbut rather. A Short Fuse lfhen somethingpushes ADD adult'stemperamental an butrons. our insteadexperiencingchronic dissatisfaction.The outbursrthat resultscan be ".he startscomplaining when he should be trying to solve the problem.a continual of gnmpine.If we alwaysseethe world in vivid living . Another manifestation this generalized of irritability has lessto do rt_th pessimism than with a feeling of being consranrlyannoyedby other peopleand events.They shakeih. seldomexpresses He positive thoughts or feelingsand travels through life exuding an aura of pessimism.He couldjust get another His angerusuallydisappears quickly as it appeared the angerhe as but elicits in other peopledoesn'tgo awayquite asfast. Depression? The-symptoms depression of and those of ADD can be remarkably similar.artistic temperaments react quickly and to an extreme.thgirritable ADDer misses on the headsat his childish reactionto a bumed pieceof toast. we'll describe that way to others.Since setbacks and throw him off balanceso easily.The ADDer may be sarcastic.Instead. he views his world through gray-colored glasses'. After the explosion that seems come from nowhere.How AnEWEDrrpEnrNr? Low moodsfeel like the end of the world.impulsivity often kicks in.It isn't a plannedexaggerarion it bur a valid reflectionof our perceprions.Our that tendency to boastand exaggerare may result from experiencingthe world so intensely. The IDP Dynamic-Irritability. It may take little to r"i off his explosiveremper or tum him into an irritable grouch.he often feelsashamed. to He can't understandwhy he madesuch a big deal out of nothing.. Through no fault of his own. baffling to him as it is frightening to the peoplearound him.Mental health professionals somerimes have difficultv disiin- 53 .

.The simplerpleasures life are too mild.parentseverywherehear theseimmortal words! In the grocerystorecheckout.excitement. When in doubt.greatest though it isn't easyfor children to leam that they can't have everything. of ongoing problemswith his An insatiableADD adult experiences appetitefor many things-sex.. The symptomscan mask underlying attentional problems. the moodto inessof many ADDers is a little of both. many choose an antidepressant the medical treatment since it can help sympas toms of both disorders.the beggingcan be for a pack of gum water pistol.You MreN I'u Nor Lxzy.They might be the part of an emotional response repeatedfailure. the intensefeelingsof need continue forever.Imustl'taqte" On any given day. Sruproon Cnezv? guishingone disorderfrom the other.I need. Differentiating ADD from can be difficult but it's vitally important. Alor candyand at the toy store.etc. He is a bottomlesspit of needs. Intenseexperiences of must match his voraciousappetite. and ADD occur together in the SometimesClinical Depression sameindividual.It's part of the dysregulation ADD. This insatiability can manifest itself in varied ways.alwayslooking aheadand never feeling satisfied. For many ADDers.. The depression-like symptomsof ADD adults might be part of the neurologicaldysregulationthat causes disorder. The Clinical Depression emotional piece of ADD is often just the tip of the icebergof other problemsthat must be addressed.. they usuallygrudginglyleam to acceptthe deprivation. alcohol. Likely. it feels like an overwhelmingcraving.It isn't uncommon for a mental of health professional make a diagnosis depression to and totally missthe ADD. The craving is often non-specific- 54 . Boffomless Pit of Needs and Desires "I want.Inside. $sregulated emotionscan alsoappearto be symptoms of depression when they're not.for the latest.

An ADDer might the to food. codependen.I must have" message his NeedsMonster. and sex. sex. \Uith hard work.airdlove addictions.Unfortunately. 0 00 SomeADDers developpattems of behavior that include habitual overearingor binge drinking. feeding the monster makeshim grow larger and more insistent so the ADDer setsa vicious cycle in motion. He might assuage need to sh. I need.op yardrop througha of strategyan acquaintance ourshas designed. cy.Ho'w Ans Wr DtmnENr? not it's for somethingbut for anything in particular.liquor or shoppingsprees appease greedyNeeds use Monster. It's conceivablethat a significantpercentage of the membqrin the "Anonymous" groups-alcoholism. an insatiableADD adult can leam to say"No" to the of non-stop"l want. D 55 . cravingsby dabbling in sportscar racing or He might quiet his restless tiLL his bungeejumping.could have ADD. He can exhaustfriends and lovers with demandsfor attention and affection becauserta olnount is ever enough.

the construction worker has a 56 . SomeADDersare hypoactive. Doesn'rthat she makehim grow even larger? her case. doesn'tbecause In it there'sa secondpart of her strategy. It would take a bonfire beneathhim to causeany movemenr at all! He may envy his hyperactivecounrerparr.Sruproon Cnazy?! She goeson periodic shoppingbinges. versialand somewhatoutdated. we issueof hyperactivity asone piece of a more generalized dysregulated acnvitylevel This dysregulation can include roomuchaction (hyperactivity ) too little action (hypoactivity) andfluctu^ations betweenthe two extremes.Nursesjoke about needingroller skates get from one to end of the shift to the other. thoughnot all thetime. She has leamed that within a few hours or days. The key is that shehas taught herselfto bring the packages home and never open them. That's when he starrsswinginghis leg or gnawingon his pencil. Then she goeson another shoppingtrip ro retum everyrhing shebought! Activity Levels in Flux SomeADDersare hyperactive. Likewise. If his job permitsphysicalactivity. A hyperactiveADDer's differences most noticeablewhen he has are to sit still. Travelingsalespeople copewith restlessness stayingon the road and by on the move.This reflectsa viewpoint that is both contro.You MreN I'rnl Nor Lezy. But wait a minute.Although someprofessionals focus still on high activity levelsin diagnosing preferro considerthe ADD. Having happily fed her NeedsMonsrerwith all her packages. headshome. the hyperactiveadult can be indistinguishable from his non-ADD colleagues. SomeADDers know somethingthat many professionals don't understand:hypoactivitycan be a troubling parr of ADD.the cravingsfor her purchases will have subsided. A hypoactive ADDer movesin slow motion and hearsmany "Getmowing's.frantically charginghundredsof dollarsof merchandise. Literature frequently refersto ADDers as hyperactives-a referenceto excessive activity levels." only If he could. Most ADD ersare hyperactiqre hypoactive and .

For many. a group. using their energyto drained talk nonstop to coworkersover lunch.their activity levelsseemto build from morning to evening.It seems activity levelsfluctuate betweenextremes. they're going full tilt. Early moming conversations TheseADD adultsdecan consistof grunts and one word answers. Sometimes ADDer movesand talks at of the mega-speed only to flip to a stateof inactivity that makeshim appear nearly comatose. The level of activity required jobs can provide a neededoutlet for hyperactivity.The practice of the siesta many countriesmay be in relatedto this normal physiological cycle. The cycle often continueswith a late aftemoon shot of newly found energywhen they start revving up again.We DrrrpRrNr. This pattem is certainly not unique to ADDers.the evening hours are the most productive-late aftemoon or evening shifts enablethem to work at peak efficiency. up nessby midmoming which is a problem when they work standard daytime hours. An ADDer's cycles. After eating in particular. They are slow moving and thinking in the morning. capableof little more than routine. SomeADDers report that on a given day. the big slump often hits with a fight to stay awake.Many have As trouble getting startedin the moming and displayirregularpatternsof hyperactivity and lethargy throughout the day.ADD adultstend to be night owls. With energyreserves by mid-aftemoon.seemto have more intensepeaksand slumps. Thesefolk begin to gain alertNothing helpsto speed this process. as scribethemselves operatingon "autopilot".however. automatic functions.much like the other dysregulatedsymptoms ADD. functioning well only if they can carry out routines withwith family members out interruption. many peoplesufferfrom a slow-downastheir bodiesmobilize for food digestion. in these that Many ADDers are both hyperactiveand hypoactive. others hypothesize that it's an attempt to compensate under- 57 . Although many expertsregardhyperactivity asa primary symptomof for ADD. By noon.How Anr. job that lets him expendphysicalenergy.

rhe ADDer of seems be frantically trying to keep himself going by being physically to active. !7e may have made frequent trips to rhe emergency room to have our bruisedand batteredbodiespatchedup.go in circles and get nowhere. Insteadof climbing trees. At times. but to help him leam to useand direct his energy more efficiently. may still be making emergency room visits for far more serious injuries. He fails to pay sufficientattention to registerthem.many ADD adultsenergetically spin their wheels. Likely.As children we fell out of treesand dov. Peoplewith high energylevelscan accomplishmany things in a short time.Sometimes feel we'vehave we entereda time warp-a twilight zonewherewe treadwater.The goal of trearmenror self-helpcan'r be just to slawthe ADDer dawn.we tend to be thrill seekers.we may be climbing mounrainsor skydiving. Since he doesn'rregister or process information about risks. the Fuzziness about the extemal world may make him feel invincible and may give him a falsesense safety. of The Intractable Time Tyrant Time is an elusiveentity to many of us. His behavior can be more risky because engages thrill he in seekingwithout recognizingthe inherent risks involved. Our sense time is elastiC of and we 58 . As adults 'We we're on our own without anyoneto remind us of the dangers.You MrnN I'u Nor Lrzy.Insteadof taking Ritalin to maintain focusand regulation. Thrill Seeking Lack of restraint can causean ADDer to risk life and limb in pursuit of excitement. Unfortunately.get nowhereand accomplish nothing. Hyperactivity can be helpful. At other times. fto* great heights. he seems frantically driven by hii hyperacrivity. ent risk and danger. an ADDer might search extra things for to fill up the unusedhours. Sruproon Cnnzy?! arousal. \7hi1e others complain that a twenry-four hour day isn't long enggghto get everythingdone.he might usestrenuous exerciseto boost his flaggingenergyand attention level. a force over which he has limited control. both theorieshold parcels truth. minimizing inher. An ADDer isn't the only adult who enjoysactivitieswith a high element of risk. But he may approachtheseactivities without sufficient planning.he doesn'treally believein them.As a group.

As children.Regrettably. His unrealisticgoalswerequite typical for an ADDer! Perhaps there is a brain function called "Time" that doesn't operate are efficiently in an ADDer's brain. both Time toubles play out in other waysaswell. An unscientific diagnostictool could be to count the items on a person's"To Do" list for a given day. our behaviorscan result from an altered time sense and an inability to plan. even unpleasant taskscan grabthe ADD adult.\fhen an ADDer is lost in his own compelling thoughts. More likely. we're late for school. Preparingthe meal alwaystakesmuch longer than he thinks it will.So. fails to plan for the inevitable distractionsthat will derail him. we'll offer a "test" we'vedeveloped diagnosis to ADD asa measure disorganization! of The daily list of an ADDer usuallyincludesfar more than any human friend planned to could accomplishin three or four days.In Chapter 13. with time passing more quickly and more slowly than it should.In reality.the hours fly by in an instant while routine work hours inch along at an excruciatinglyslow pace. or workersoften misinterpret the tardinessaslaziness an indifference to their needs. Most people don't think of houseworkastheir favorite activity.obsessively as attacking tiny specks dirt. Sometimes.stay out beyondour curfewsand As misshomework deadlines.It's not uncommonfor him to becomelocked-in. adults.This would be okay if he had the time or inclination to spendhis life pursuingthe elusivedream 59 . he decidesto add a few extra things he to his afternoonplans.A professor write three articles. his TimeTroubles caused variousdeficits and his failure to factor in their impactson by his life. Teachers.a book and two grantsover the summermonths. He figuresthat it shouldn't take more than two hours to prepare a small dinner for friends.we might be late for work and bosses coand have trouble completingprojectson time. Then why doesan ADDer who hateshouseworkspendhours "spit-shining" his house while other choresremain unfinished?The answerlies in overpersistence. The day evaporates he scrubsa small of portion of a room into antisepticperfection.How AnEWE DIrrrnENr? the characteristically underestimate time it will take to do anything.

\7e play a perpetualgameof "But what about.An ADD adult often lives with a daunting amount of clutter and disorganization. of Spatial problemsaren't limited to sportsactivities and directionality. of The ADD brain seemsto have trouble sorting and filing. South. .Doesn'ttlw TtmeMonstnreuer sleep? ?? Space Stmggles An ADD adult can alsohave a distorted sense spaceand problems of of directionality. Similar to a distortedsense time. They alsohave an impact on organization.Sruproon Cnazy?! of a spotless home..You MpaNI'u Nor Ll:zy. Of course. may dream He of having enough money to hire the right personto organizeall the stuff in his life so he can ger on with the business living. As an adult. . It can alsoresultfrom the impairedinformation processing a specificleaming disability.Beforehe can . he might still rely on the visual clue of his wristwatch to identify right and left. he facesa nightmarish task of figuring out what to do with his chaotic surroundings. an alteredsense space of of might be relatedto excessive speed and deficient planning. Eastand \Uest.Itt 3 o'clnckin tlte morning. . . time is limited and must be divided his among a variety of chores. . in threehows. Memory alsoplaysa role in an ADDer's SpaceTroubles. \7e ADDers tend to focuson all the exceptionsto the orderly rulesof the world. He might have difficulty following a road map or understandingthe compass settingsof North. . He can alsohave a distorted sense how his body movesin spacein of relationshipto other objects. He might be unable to gaugethe speedand direction of a ball in tennis or baseballgames. Sportsthat demandfinely tuned spatial abilities can be particularly difficult for him.l' It's difficult to organize either space a filing system or without an ability to decidewhich things belong together.The alarrn will go off . Even when he slowsdown to take the time to tidy up. bumpsinto other he peopleor fumiture.As a consequence. The time he neqter accountedfor is eatenup by lisx tlwt are too long: Anotherday is gone.

Although neither courseof action is particularly helpful. 61 . Every systemusesenergyand resources proces. problemswith spatialorganization are common for many of us with ADD. The ADDer's environment is a confusingone over which he constantly of struggles gain a semblance control. If a computer input into an the or environment as its input.we look at the three parts of the systemto find out what'swrong. How do we think about and act on the text of information information we receivefrom the environment?Do we have unique To ADD thinking and acting styles? answerthesequestionsand examas in ine other differences ADD adults. Finally.A problem in the information processing of the computer itself may alsoexist. It transforms. new information asoutput on a printout. assuring with that tidinessis simply a wasteof time.After he finds them he still has to figure out what to do with them! ourselves Some of us dismissthe e{fectof clutter on our lives. partsorganized into a whole to servea funcconsistof assorted Systems from the tion or reach a goal. Others becomeobsessed putting things in order and have time for little else. Human error can interfere with input if information is keyed incorrectly. the output function can be flawed if there is a mechanicalproblem with the printer. altemative form called outputand sendsit back to the environment. wordsor actions. Preventingthe overwhelming feelingsof confusionthat resultfrom untamedpiles of junk is an important goal. A certain degreeof order is to important for emotional well-being.we'll usethe Theoryof Systems a working model of the brain'sfunctions. has to rememberwhere they are. A computer systemtakesinput from humansby way of the keyboard.How AnEWs DtrprneNr? he organizehis belongings. Information Processing of Some of the differences ADDers can be understoodwithin the conprocessing. it It processes and produces Similarly. the human brain receivesinput from the outsideworld processes and producesoutput in the form of it through the senses.

You MraN I'u Nor Lxzy. '!7e alsohave trouble with the secondstep. In general.Sruproon Cnnzyl! Breakingdown the workingsof the brain in to thesethree components can help us better understand what'shappeningwhen things go wrong. Levinezt examines interplayof selectiveintention and selectiveattention the in his book on developmentalvariation.we have problemswith aftention. motor control and rambling speech compromise the quality of output-effectively communicating or acting on the pro. washe observing neurological process your brain?Of course the in not! He wasobservingbehavior. This is just the first step in processing information.activity levels. or blocks the harmful ones. That's why our disorderis called an Attention Deficit Disorder. Action and Inaction Imbalance \7e know that asADD adults. information processing and output capacities. A significant problem for many of us with ADD is mismatchedinput. Let's take a look at how input/output weaknesses and intemal processing strengthscreatesomeunique ADD differences. He makesthe point that it's rare to find a personwho has difficulty with attention without also having difficulty with intention. The brain needsto facilitare. he blurts out a hasty. Difficulties with impulsivity. The action part of attention depends balancingthe forcesof action. \Uhen your teachercomplainedthat you weren't paying attention. or supfacilinaon port helpful actionswhile it inhibits. cessed information.Many of the differences unique to an ADDer resultfrom an imbalancein this area.\fhen he should be in his inaction mode.Your action-looking out the window rather than at your math book-resulted from listening to the blue jay insteadof your ADDer processes intemal information rapidly but has a lessefficient capacityfor the input and output functions.\7e have trouble with selective attenaon-focusing on one part of the vast array of information that bombardsour senses. inhibition. Problemswith selectiveattention and filtering compromise qualiry of input-getting the information into his brain. memoryretrieval. 67 . sele. on and inaction. or acrion. however.ctiqte intention-selecting one response from a variety of possible action choices.

Thlking about personalexperiences and problemscan open doorsfor others to share confidences. behavioron other our A failure to inhibit one'swords isn't alwaysa negativequality-an ability to sayjust about anything can come in handy. \Uhen he should be in his he action mode.He says things he shouldn't say.Because has trouble slowing he down enough to stop and think.especially loved ones. Many peopleseemto be starvedfor connectionsto others. may strike out at his children or let loosea streamof He verbal abuse.An ADDer tends to react quickly and intenselyto his impulses. Sometimeshe may realizeit but is too embarrassed apologize. If behavior judgedby intentions.interrupts conversations and intrudeson a friend'spersonalspace. we need to look beyond good intentions. to Failure to restrainor inhibit can causeproblemsfar more seriousthan a socialfaux pas. he may not even realizehis mistake. These impulsive wordsor actions can destroy relationshipsand psyches. A bad gameof tennis is one thing but social errorsare somethingelse. He doesn'tmean to lash out and is ashamed his behavior.we ADDers are blnrnelessis we didn't. The mushroomingnumber of supportgroupsis evidenceof this need to shareand be intimate. facilitation helps him react quickly to retum a shot and inhibition preventshim from reacting too quickly and moving when he should be waiting.\Ue have to considerthe impact of our people.mean it! While it's true that we're not calculating criminals. Most people are enormouslyrelieved to discoverthat others sharetheir fearsand insecurities. he fails to answera questionhe should have facilitated. In tennis.How Anr WE DrrrrneNr? sloppyresponse should have inhibited. Disinhibition causes many of the socialproblemsan ADDer experiences. Arguments with his spouse can quickly get out of hand ashe saysthings in the heat of the moment only to regret them later. 63 .The hasty of wordsor actionswere neither planned nor intended.

to After we both startedtaking Ritalin.or at leastmore slowly and with better planning. were playing better because we werethinking better. we experienced startling improvementin our a skillson the tennis court.we never seemed make much progress. An ADDefs ahered cogninve rcmpocan translateinto unmonitored rapid-fire speech. twisted. Handwriting and other aspects of task perfrormance alsosufferashe fails to slow down enoughto balcan ancehis intemal processing physicalcapabilities (output)..the ADD brain goesfast! Although we've listed it separately. An ADDer who doesn't inhiblt the flow of his thoughts can dreamup outrageously funny things to say-things that others wouldn't dare to utter! If he can leam to monitor himself sufficiently to keep from steppingover the line into offensiveness.we finally graduared of from our beginnerlessons.have had a long-standinglove/hate relationship with tennis that hasresultedin part from the Supersonic Brain phenomenon. Lest strugglingathletesread this and race to their pharmacies their for physicalskill pills." 64 .t Not Lxzy. of The Supersonic Brain Statedsimply.for instance. merit incluI7e sion on the basisof our record setting number of yearsin beginner and advancedbeginner tennis lessons Regardless how hard we worked ! of at our game. he may prevenr anyone elsefrom getting a word in edgewise. PR: "Kate and I should have our nameslisted on a plaqueof notable accomplishments. \Tithout pausingfor breath. I need to emphasize that the improvementwe ex'!7e periencedwasone of mentalskill. As a and result.the Srzpersonic Brain is closelyrelated to the action/inaction balance. Our abilities to strategize s-l-o-w d-o-w-n improvedour game.or expandedto the level of absurdity. and With relief and a sense accomplishment.You MEaNI'r.The authors. Taming our runawaythinking temposgaveus a more accuratesense of time. can he contribute a sparklingsense humor.he makescareless errorsand has trouble with motor tasks. kind of Guinness a Bookof Records. Sruproon Cnazy?! Peoplelaugh when the truth is exaggerated.

I didn't recheckmy figuresbeforeassuring my husbandthat the project wasfinancially do-able. Severalyearsago. He may watch the softball whiz by as if he were a spectatorinsteadof the player responsible for intercepting it.the ADDer may find himself in a frozenstate.unable to take scared devil out of me!" the This anecdoteis illusffative of an important balancing act for many of us with ADD. we don'r alwaysapply the brakeswhen we should. I found a glaring omissionin my figures.Frankly.After we had committed to the project and were up to our earsin plasterdust. we might still be in debtors'prison-assuming such placesstill exist! \7e could have lost our houseand still feel the pinch of my mistake.however. We have to put the brakeson our racing thoughts grad. \7hen it's time to answersomeone's question.Many of us manageto achievesomedegreeof balanceand an ability to stop and think-at leastmore often than we did aschildren. The output function totally of 'S7hen stopsworking. thing easyor familiar.Alternately. KK: "I'm certainly no whiz at higher mathematicsbut I can accurately add long columns of figures. something invariably goeswrong. ually enoughthat we don't come to screeching halts.I sweptawayhis natural caution with my enthusiasmand energyand implied that he wasa stick-in-the-mudfor raisingquestions and objections.I made the mistakeof rapidly calculating our householdbudget to ascertainwhether my husbandand I could afford a major renovation. with a failure to act ar all-something like a paralysis the will. especially when we're working on some. !7hen we're feeling overconfident we may "put the pedal to the metal" and sendour racing thoughts careeningout of control! Paralysis of the Will The balancecan also tip in the other direction.How Aru We DrrrpnrNr? Applying the brakesto our SupersonicBrains often getseasierby the time we becomeadults. assoon aswe start feeling complacent.I prefer doing my addition without a calculator so I don't have to worry about pushing the wrong buttons. this happens. If shehadn't given me a portion of an inheritance.I had neglectedto add the mortgagepaymenrro our monthly budget! My saintedgrandmotherbailed us out. 65 . Unfortunately. paralyzed by fearsof making impulsive mistakes.

If of he hasn't input the information he needsto properlyrespond. But at the socialgatherthe ing. thoroughlyenjoy this I and I work and am never at a lossfor words. he Input problemsprobablyalsoplay a part in this paralysis the will. usuallythink of many I 66 . I have to react and respondto conversation generated other by people. Now me my it makesperfectsense. might have He trouble retrieving things from memoryin a demandsituation.he finds it more difficult to function well. rely on the wealth of my I knowledgeand my excellentlong-termmemoryto orchestrate these sessions.the rapid freewheelingaspectof his brain takesover. Even in a group of friends. am in chargeof my thoughtsand the direcI tion of my work during my conferences.Your brain movesboth very slowly and very rapidlyJepending on the task.You MEaNI'v Nor Lezy. Reaction Time Irregularity Our discussion the fast-thinkingbrain may seempuzzling. PR: "I have a particular gift for speaking and conduct workshops without missinga beat. "That's crazy!My brain moveswith the speed a glacier of and it makesme feel pretty stupid."This is anotherof the ADD paradoxes.Sruproon Cnazy?! he may standback feelingstupid. of You may be thinking. I often flnd myself gropingfor things to sayin response questions.the quality of his output will be impaired.\fhen I get readyto shareinformation with an audience. might not be rude or disinterested.My brain often doesn'twork fastenoughto find what I need to say.But informal gatheringsare a totally different matter. In other words. questionand answerperiod isn't a problemeither The because focusis somethingI know well.because can't think of a response.On the way home from thesegatherings. If you can rely on your ability to process information interyou can often take swift and decisiveaction. becomeenergized focused. to This bafflingbehaviorconfused until I understood ADD. to Reactingdepends the problematicinput and output functionsof an on ADD brain. it's easier ect thanreact. If an ADDer is free to direct his own thoughtsand actions. nally. A personwith the gift of gabwho ignoresyou when you ask direct questions. Fluent self-expression independentof an ability to respondto quesis tions. When he has to fit into someone else's agenda either with wordsor actions.

In reality.It's important to remember that this is anotherpieceof ADD. we feel out of control.How Anr Wp DrpreRENr? things I could have said. ADD children may not work well in the groupsettingof a classroom but perform well with a tutor. We live in a world of paradoxes. a frenzied hour long chasethrough the park after your escaping Great Dane would probably do you in for the afternoon. Thesecontradictorybehaviors can reflectyour genuineinability to reacrquickly and efficiently ro situations.But ADDers seemto regularlyexperience this phenomenon.most peoplefunction bestu'hen the task or subjectis something they know well. mouth. But he may successfully orchestrate a socialactivity of his own design. Connections to the world are generallyslow and inefficienr while internal connectionswork with lightning rapidity. As many of us struggle with mismatched input/outputcapabilities. Ourpur can be difficult because ADDer has to synchronize mental speed the his with his sloweroutput. unable to figure out how to assist. An inability to respondquickly to requests seems be to stubbornor non-compliantbehavior. An ADD adult can have difficulty working asa committee memberyet perfrorm admirablyas the chairperson. brain and of His body just don't cooperate very well in demandsituations. These behaviorscan make you feel lazyand bad about ourself. The Minuscule Mental Fuel Thnk Unlessyou happento be in excellentaerobichealth. You don't have to have ADD to be at a lossfor words. He may standaroundthe kitchen of a friend preparinga dinner party. Our needfor control doesn't come from a desireto be one up on others." Clearly. world that seems a to tossus about by inexplicableforces.It resultsfrom a significant imbalancein action and reaction capabilities. If a nap wasn't warrante akick d.It is often a desperate attempt to managea situationso we can function with a degree comof's so easyto look and feel stupid. 67 .Otherwise.thesebehaviors can be manifestations irregularreactioncapabilities.

For years. Familiescan't believethat the slug they in front of the TV could ever be of any useon the job.An eight hour workdaycan be torturousfor someone t whosemental energyand productivetimessimply don't last long enough.SruproOn Cnnzv?! back. up information at a mind bogglingpaceand burn ADDers tend to process out just asquickly. have never seenhim move off his couch! Many of us think fasterand fatigue more quickly than our non-ADD 68 .put yourfeetup andreadabook breakprobablywould be.You MrnN I'v Nor Lazv. his thoughtscan race aroundhis head. A rapidlyworking brain expends much energyand quickly uses its daily allotment. Though is his body might not dashmadly arounda park.He is mentallytired.Somehave sufficient energyto get through the day but run out of steamwhen they get home. You are exhausted! of This scenario similar to the daily experiences an ADDer.

Shut Down Susceptibility' What happenswhen the brain'scapacityto process information is exceededT shuts d. Previouslywell 69 . " The challengeis to conservehis mental energyby working ar his own paceand rhythm.resilientpersoncan becomedisorganized under certain conditions. sexualabuseor natural disasteroutsidethe usualrange of human experience.Without a high level of motivation. It Many of us live in terror that we'll shut 'We down at a critical moment and becomeuseless a crisis.^nl. An overloaded brain is similar to an overloaded computersysrem. If you load up the working memory of a computer with excessive data.Your program will be temporarily useless. talk or think. Post-Traumatic StressDisorderfollows a psychologicalffauma to eventsof war. He experiencesattemptsof communicationasassaults his very can backfire. are Research of this condition has grown from an interest in the mental health problemsof Vietnam era veterans. particularly if their jobs aren't too demanding. An ADDer's overloadedsystemcan make him so tired he can barely move. the ADDer's job perfrormance really suffer.He on either ignoresthe assault snapsan irritable reply-taking any acor tion is an impossibility. Some adults conservetheir resources coasting by at work.Conversely. substance abuseand an exaggerated startle response.oq.This rtr"t.losing dataor the functions of the software.The sympromsinclude nightmares. in may freeze response loud noisesor unexpectedeventsand feel that in to we're in slow motion.flashbacks.overloadcan On shut down the entire system. Recent discoveries the brains of individuals in sufferingfrom Post-Traumnnc Scress Disorder good examples.the mental fatigue caused can by demandingjob can overloadhis brain'scapacityro fu:nctionwell.Each of us needsto be awareof the impact of cognitive fatigue on our work tempo. it might crash. a mainframecomputer. It is as if he is in a remporarycoma. the brain can alsosufferfrom overload. Even the most efficient.How Anp Wr DrnpsnrNr? peers.With excessive sensoryinformation.

And when it happens. actual biochemicalchanges psychobiological have discovered researchers It that stress. Of course. ShutDown.You MEnNI'u Nor Lezv. stress the ADD brain for definitely not fun! for This baffling coma of Shut Down is troubling but essential our must stop the onslaughtso continuedwell-being.zz appears in the brainsof individualswith post-traumatic in overloadexperienced extremesituationscan alter the the massive brain.Sruproon Cnazv?! adjustedpeople aren't immune to the disorder-the symptomscan occur in anyonewho has experiencedseveretrauma. The symptomsoften persistyearsafter the traumatic event.we aren't the only peoplewho shut down under demanding It The differenceis in degree.It is as if our brains of we can heal ourselves and renew our depletedreserves mental 70 . it's to yell "uncle". takesa fairly low level of situations. perhapspermanently. Recently. Although no one can explain the biochemistrythat causes we know from experiencethat it's troubling for many ADDers.

or directionsand jump the gun on new tasks. o1. consciously we make an effort to securethe information in our memoriesfor subsequenr recall. coding and rehearsal two important parts of registration. Eachof us areusing ryrt"rnof coding.19tgy..In the following to section. you won't find an arealabelled The Memop_.. phone *"rr"g. As ADDers. The First Step of Memory: Acquisition-The first step in the process' acquisition.related problemswith memory. Someof the differences ADDers experienceare. this is no small taskfor someADDers I 7L . If you recall fiom the discussion spatial of organization. Protlems of 'We arousalor alertness often impair adequate regisiration. The function of memoryis a sysrem with multiple parrs scatteredthroughour the brain. may only partially understand conversations.resultsin a fascinating and eclecticstorehouse interestingknowledgel of The second s!"p of Memory: Registration-we have to register information beforeit can becorn"puit of memory. If we superficially registerthe data. Undependable Memory and Learning Systems If you look at a picture of the brain.How AnE WEDrrrpntNr? . type of involvesa preliminary decisionto acceptand storeit..i .we will examinethe impact of ADD symptoms the on memoryprocess.h"rg. to rest find the bestway to facilitate this renewal.r"p of the memory process. Besides payingattention to incoming information. many of us feel embarrassed how much we don'r " decidewhether to file the pieceof papei uy r"liecr.Every are tlme you usea file cabinet.r"*. Our brainsmusrt. Rather than fighting closelyrelatedto selective attention. by Our selective attention deficitsmake it difficult to acquireinformation that never even finds its way into our memorieslThe positive sideis that an ability to notice things othersmiss. writ"r. we'll have difficulty ritrieving it later.rj . we need to give in to it and acceptthe self-imposed rime.In this seco. Mpmory is a-process rather than an identifiable part of the brain.

and can be quite inventive with the sometimes off-thewall coding methodshe designs.If you try to run memory intensive software. you loseyour If work forever unlessyou have savedit to permanentdisc storage.Theseare usuallynot his bestqualities!He is crearequires tive.we can code the name "Tom Thumb" in severalways. If you're lucky.or file incoming information asa visual image. For have used rehearsal elaboration. Rehearsal another problem for an ADDer because tediousand is it's patience.\7hile you work. \7e userehearsal practo tice and repeatinformation until we anchor it in our memories. though.The typist holds the key'slocation in his mind only long enoughto press it.You MenNI'u Not Lezv. on Active working memory functions much like the working memory of a computer.a word or a sound. These storagesystems aren't characterized their sizebut by their by duration or how longinformation is storedin each. short-term memoryand long-termmemory. If you have ever memorizeda word of list by singing a silly songyou createdfrom the words. The Third Step of Memory: Storage-The third step involves storageof the processed information.Sruproon Cnazvl! Registeringinformation involves essentially the samekind of sorting and filing.your computer might respondto the overloadwith a shutdown and lossof data. it might 7Z . active workingmemor!. Instant recall has the shortestduration. \7e decideto code.The code can be a "picture" of Tom the mid.It must include elaboration information. the power goesout. There are four storage instant systems: recall. the wordson the screenare held in the computer'stemporarystorage.To be effective. RAM memory capacityvariesfrom one computer to another. Rehearsal what children usedto do in their one-room schoolhousesis memorizingby reciting their lessons aloud.rehearsal must be more than rote memorization. Seeing flash of lightening the in your mind's eye is an exampleof instant recall. "finger" (verbal) or a sound."Tom Thumb is a bum" (auditory).a word. Touch-typing also usesthis kind of memory. get with an enormous thumb (visual).

Distractibility wreakshavoc with short rerm form associations by elaborating the characteristics eachcar and crossreferon of encing them to other vehicles.The jigsiw piices keepfailing off the table the beforehe can put the whole puzzle tog"ih"r. Similar to RAM memory your active working memory can shut down if you try t9 overloadit.Its capacity is quite limired with a maximum of five seconds r"rr"r.I am preparingto self-destruct!" Complexiiy of detail seems to shrink the storagecapacity.Memoriesyou needto storeforeverare in a separate box_deep insidethe cavemous vault. The data in this bank vault is consoh dnted. It's too bad your brain doesn'tgive clearer messages impending shut-down-maybe somethinglike. But it can compromise qualiry of"short the term storage that requires focuson specificdetails. Its unique limitations make it vulnerableto a variety of interferences. An imaginativethinking stylecan alsointerferewith short rerm memorystorage.or translated into a permanent code. You can think of it as a huge bank vault that contains numerour of"depositboxes. .routines.seemingly houseof facts. Short Term Memory alsofunctions as temporarystorage.How Anr WE DrrpEnrNr? givg you a a chance to closefiles or changesoftwareby alerting you ro its low memory.The codedetermines which box will srorethe information.. Buick and Ford asauromobiles.An ADDer often tur remarkably " unreliable temporarymemory that regularlylosespower and data.brain. items or (plusor minus two).experiences.and generalknowledge. are you usingconsolidation. He beginsthe first step in solving a complex problem only to lose it ashe undertakes secondstep. values.From experience and leaming. 73 .This is of you. When you identifu a Honda. The onesyou need to remember while you completeyour errandsare in your safetydepositbox right inside the vault's steeldoor.It doesn'ttake more than a brief mind trip for a personro losedata that he wasn'tmentally presentto register. Elaborationand association old and new data is a great of anchor for long term storage. unlimited storelotg Tery Memory is the permanent.

On the other hand. for His limited reserves mental energyimpair his ability to maintain sufficienteffort of to memorizesomething. his He may possess wealth of information in his bank vault but routinely a forgetwherehe put his car keys! Fourth Step of Memory: Access-Access is the process recalling of storedinformation through recognition or retrieval memory.That's why rote recitation is a lesseffectivestrategythan memorizingby principle. Retrieval relieson data you have firmly fixed in memory.Recognition relieson funiliariry to refreshthe memoriesof superficiallyleamed data. superficialand haphazard manner.accuraterecall on demand.Sruproon Cnnzy?! A rich imaginationenhances theseassociations is an asset and for long term memorystorage.Remember dynamicsof reactiontime? the 74 . An ADDer's unique abilitiesand disabilities greatvariability in cause his abiliry to access information.As he quickly bums have to retrieve information as an userecognition memory to take a multiple choice test or find your way to a location by noting landmarksalong the way. Since an ADDer tendsto be a conceptualizerrather than a rote have to usespecificstrategies. consolidationskills can be superb. retrieual ADDer tends to approachmemory choresin a rapid. With an aversionto details. plannedstrategiesfor storageand fast information processing.To anchor data in memory.Accurate retrieval is a combination of attention to the detailsof what he needsto memorize. For example. he often rushesto get the memory chore finished.This compromiseshis ability to developstrategies registration. His divergentretrieval is usuallymuch fasterand more accurate than his convergentretrieval. Precise recall is you only asgood asthe strategies usedto storethe information. \Uhen you take an essay exam. Rote learningresultsin isolateddetailsrather than generalideas and abstractions. Finding a specificword in your memory banks is another retrievaltask.You MpaNI'v Nor Lxzy.

It is lessvaluablein information transferthat depends on associations. we sharesomefairly consistentpatterns.He often impresses friendsand himself ( !) with the fluency his of thoughtsstructuredaroundhis knowledgebase. data is storedin separately If labeledboxes.That's why many of us performedwell in 7s . Although eachof us has a unique memoryprofile.Recognition memoryis usuallygood.rransfer of knowledgeis impossible.He resists purring things in boxes with neat labels. Transferof knowledgedependson the creative and flexible useof a knowledgebase.It can include combiningfragmented piecesinto a largerwhole.changeslhe subject. instance. rifth Step of Memory3 Tiansfer-tansfer is a complex process of rearranging individual piecesof data to form new knowledge.children and adultswith mental retarFor dation can't transferskills from one setting to another. Although this can be a disadvu.ttug" when he needs precise memory it is a decidedadvantage transferring for knowledge.He can applyknowledgeand solve problemsin waysundreamed by more orderlythinkeis. [t can include applyingdata from one applicationto another. of ADD adultsdon't have bad memories but their unique symproms creategapsin the memoryprocess. Everythingis grear until someone interruptswith a questionor even worse.It can alsoinclude generalizations the common threadsbetweenseemingly of unrelatedideasor evenrs.divergenrrhinker with an ability to put.knowledge and ideastogether. He can wanderthrough his safe-deposit boxes. A precise memoryfor factsis invaluablein answering quesrions about a specificsubject.He suddenly feelsanxiousand annoyedthat he has to switch to his faulty convergentrerrieval. Mixing the contentsof the boxesor combining them in new waysis unthinkablel An ADDer tendsto be a creative.finding information ro usein new and interestingways.How Anr Wr DrrrpnENr? An ADD adult functionsbetter when he acts(divergenrrerrieval)on his own ideasthan when he reacts (convergentrerrieval)to a direct question.They have to learn skills in eachof the semings they will userhem.

It makessensethat your memory would be good for a specificsubject or task that comeseasilyto you. deredthe samething. \7e'11 examine thesedifferencesin greaterdepth later in the book.The memory of an ADDer can compromisehis attemptsto leam. It alsohad a lot to do with individual teachingstyles. converseand carry out instructions.The visual leamer leams by seeing. diagramsand other visual aids. wasrelated to motivation but not in the way he thought-your lack of motivation wasn't the result of your poor attitude. Symptomsof the disordercan affect interpersonalrelationships in a variety of ways. goesa long way toward helping him readjust Understanding the process his self-assessments.You MeaNI'u Nor Lnzv. But what about that tough physics classin high school?Why did you do so well in a difficult subjectthat memory retrieval?Your teachermight have wonrequiredon demanl. He might have pointedly usedthis asevidence of your ability to do it whenyou warltedto. 76 .the auditory leamer by hearing and the kinesthetic leamer If by doing/experiencing. Everyonehas his own unique leaming style. your brain receivedthe optimal kind of stimuli. It wasthe result of an ADDer's need for intenselycompelling motivation to grab the dysregulatedselectiveattention. differently than others do. including socialadjustment. Recognizingindividual leaming stylescan be very helpful in bypassing weak areasand focusingon strengths.\7e just need to leam and to demonstratewhat we've leamed. Srupto on Cnezv?! about the historic implications of world events discussions classroom but failed miserablyon teststhat requiredone-word answers. Your abiliry to excel Your teacherwaspartially correct in his assessment. you are a visual leamer and the coursein questionwastaught with many char$. \il7eADDer's aren't stupid or oppositional. Your memory wasgiven just what it neededto function efficiently. Impaired Social Skills' Control Center of ADD has a profound impact on all areas life.

If deficient selectiveattention getsin the way.really have to work hard at leaming and using social skills. 77 . The development socialskills is more an art than a science of because we must leam to readthe ever-changing reactionsof orhers.Combinedwith impulsivity. however. \ \7e leam mannersand other forms of socialrules in childhood-but successful relationships requiremore than memorized rules.The rules are somewhatflexible and can changefrom situation to situation.this deficit can leadto numerous socialmistakes. gPed they seemto interact admirablyin ADDer's perceptions may be flawed by inaccurateor incomplete information. If we are unsureof the rulesin a given situation. inabilitv to An process information efficiently can result in a failure ro assimilaiethe leY rulesquickly enough.How AnE\7E DrrrEnENr? Somepeopleseemto be bom with socialgifts and skills of intuition that_theyusero "read" orher people. Many of us with ADD.Perhaps they have highly devel"Social Skills' Control Centers" in their brainsl \7ith litile effort. we watch other people for cluesand gauge their reactionsto our behaviors.

Intimacy. Many of us simply can't wait around long enough for this process take its course. 78 .So. and Using your energyto develop one or two positiverelationships can be a much better way to go.we hope you have a better understanding about what ADD is and the impact it has had on your life.m.I know it's Z:00a. It can be healthierfor your soul to recognize that this lifestylemay be unnecessary undesirable.a specialtalent. with its demandsfor carefulattention to another person. Creativity. If you are an ADD adult who has grown up feeling like a socialreject. Someof the eccentric traits that causedan ADDer's childhood peers to labelhim "weird" often becomeadmirableffaits in adulthood.+zy. It's just too difficult to hang in there for the duration. He works so hard at following the rules and not looking foolish that he may have insufficient energyleft to focuson someoneelse.ffixy elude him. into other'slives. Building lasting friendshipsrequires slow. don't despair!It's never too late to developa socialnetwork. Sruprnon Cnnzy?! Developingfriendshipscan be difficult for an ADDer whoserestlessnessinterfereswith the process.\7e hope you know that your ADD isn't your fault." An ADD adult may have brief conversations with many peoplebut be unable to focuslong enoughon a given relationshipto make a connection.I know I alreadycalled three times today.\Ueird becomes unique.Yeah.specialor interesting. we try to to pushing ourselves speedit up and cqme on like gangbusters.carefulplanning and nurturing. "l know you saidthat you would call me. but I figuredI'd just drop over and seewhat you weredoing. You may have unrealisticexpectations yoursell believingthat you shouldbe for like one of the gang onThirty something. \7e hope you have begun to forgive yourselffor the failuresand shortcomings you may have blamed on your lack of character.Yeah. By this point in your reading.drawing other peopleto him.You MrnN I'u Nor L. a sense humor or an enthusiastic of zestcan be a socialmagnet. with friends dropping in all the time.

our focuswill be the unproductive waysmany of us have leamed to cope with our disorder. continrr" ihi. you can make decisionr your bJhaviorsand modifir those that are getting in the way "borrt recovery.we'll look at someadditionaldynamicsof ADD. need to considerboth the adaptiveand maladaptive you coping strategies you'vebeenusingto copewith being different.lUith this-knowledge.Growing up different affectsthe wav each of us interactswith our individual worlds and the people in them. of your 79 .How AnEWt DrppgneNr? In the next chapter. By understandinsyggr disorderyou've alreadybegun the process of dismantling your self-defeating assumprions. imporTo tant process.

many of us have We dontt or to hide our differences distract othersfrom seeingthem.CHaprEn 5 Art TheNotSoFine of Coping .tt O'Hara usedthis classic the Gone withtheWind. all of us. "l'11put it out my mind" becomearmorsthat shield Scarlett and Defensemechanisms defense. shedid what all mechanisms.lll thinkaboutit tomorrow.h adulthood. the time of disappointments. line several S. She developedcoping strategie defense to defendherselfagainstpsychologicaland emotional harm. systems erectedelaboratedefense *" r"". beneficial.r"d her Denialdefenss-('[f I don't think about the 80 . s. adaptive. ADDers enduremore than our fair share By rejection and feelingsof inadequacy." times in the movie. want to be different and will jump through hoops to fit in and gain againstemotional So. She had mastered art of dealingwith the problemsin her life by avoiding them-she put them out of her mind.They can be can mechanisms be psychologically Defense They can alsobe psycholog-mechanisms.url"tt may have been a fictional character.url. "I won't thinkaboutthat rcday . we of Because our differences. . for hei lessthan admirablebehaviorswith her. maladaptivecoping mechanisms Scarietsomerim". we build shieldsto defendourselves harm.positivecoping that underminegrowth. . but S. icaliy harntfrl. human beingsdo.from hufts and disappointments. are Defensemechanisms the survival techniqueswe leam through our feelingguilty Scarlettleamedto protectherselfagainst life experiences. acceptance.

it doesn'texist" asan adaptivecoping mechanism. She usedit not only to surviveemotionalharm but alsoto insulateherselffrom ever thinking about the possible consequences her actions.THr Nor So FINE Anr Or CoprNc problem.sherealized too 81 . refusalto think about the devastaring her circumstances enabledher to survive its horror.Because didn't of she allow herselfto considerthe impact of her behavior.lUhen she killed a man in self-defense. Unfortunately. Scarlett overusedthe defense.

her. sarcastic and tough manner. Elementaryschool wasalwaysdifficult for Susan. Again she invokesher standard to refrain. SometimesSusanis too scared by the talk of suicideand the useof IV drugs. they think it's useless work hard at They are smartkids. They use schoolor to try to excel at anything." helpful and The defense mechanisms that ADDers useare sometimes sometimes harmful.punk hairstylesand clothing. Although the groupisn't violent. by make fun of her now and she is off the hook asfar asschool work goes. for we coping strategies can substitute the harmful ones. Justa few yearsagoher classmates She her wasweird. shehas found a group of kids that embraces Susanand her new friends wear extreme.Even in the final scenewhen with his declarationthat their relationshipis over. waspuzzled and hurt that no one wanted to befriend her.If you can analyze you emotionallyhealthmaladaptive defenses. last.Slow and 82 . Since they're surethe world is going They have a doomsday to to Hell no matter what they do. Bad is Better than Stupid thought she Susanis 15 yearsold.SruptoOn Cnnzv?! late that shewasdestroyingher marriage. I'11think about it tomorrow.It's important for each of us to analyzethe maladaptivebehaviorsthat get us in we'Il examinesomeadaptive trouble. creatingmore problemsthan they solve. 'We've of compiled somecharactersketches real peoplestrugglingto If cope with their differences. "l won't think about that now. eachof the kids has a hostile. their collective intelligenceto write nihilistic poetry and makedarkly humorousjokes. Rhett Butler leaves Scarletrefuses confront reality. Now at long her. mentality. can begin to substitute ier ones.They flirt with death asthey take drugsand have sex without safeguards.You MraN I'v Nor Lnzv.But at least The other kids don't dare shefeelsaccepted u groupof her peers. Each usesa maladaptivecoping strategy. They teased for being in the "ozone"during class. will already your have taken an important step in your recovery.Their peersare afraid of them.In later sections about recovery.but junior high and with Many ADDers can empathize hlgh schoolhave beennightmares. you you recognize yourselfin any of their descriptions. She has always felt incompetent.stupid and rejected.

inclusion in the gangover humiliation and alienation. getting plenty of detentionsis cool. TOUGHNESS creates smokescreen nasLVULNERABILITY. A defiant and snnart reply to a teacher's questionscan get a few laughs and perhapssomeadmiration from other kids. She doesn'rconsider this option because is driven to saveface. The Perfectionist Unlike Susanwho protectsherselfby rebellingagainsr sociery's rules. Driven by the adolescent's intenseneed to fit in. This defense mechanismdoesdouble duty asa cover for pioblems and an insulator from other people. It's a way to avoid answeringa questionwithout looking stupid. shehasn't faredany better in physicalprowess in her sociallife. She hasdecidedthat being the 83 .She hasa third choice. hostile attitude.The stint in detention hall that follows can be a reasonable price to pay for maintaining one's find troubled.She'salwaysin trouble she with her parentsand teachers is willing ro pay this high price for but acceptance. A intimidatesother peopleand preventsanyonefrom getring too close. She has decidedthat BeingBad better than BeingStupid. however. Susanand her counterpartsmay pay a high price. Muny vulnerableADD adolescents continue to weartheir shieldsof toughnessinto adulthood. or She has leamed one thing very well-adolescents admire kids who are cool and in control.TUE SoFINE OrCoprNc Nor Anr awkward in leaming new sportsand masteringthe art of conversation.And anyway. The defense mechanism Susanhas learnedis common in adolescence. indeed. Debrahas taken rhe oppositetack.They usuallymanageto keep themselves and their tough facades within the boundsof society's rulesand don'r become major league criminalsor radicals. a to If v9u separate Susanand her friendsfrom their group and managero dig beneaththe tough shells. Susanhas learnedthat rebellious behavioris more acceptable than the uncertainfumblingsof someone struggling with disabilities. is Facedwith reality assheexperiences Susanchooses it.She can leam new waysof dealingwith her differences.

This had nothing to do with insomnia. She hasADD but thosewho know her would neverbelieveit. Beginningin seventhgrade. husband. 84 .She rarely slept more than four or five hours each night.shewould be found-out.regardless the cost. on volunteerwork and clients all vie for her attention. Even a pregnancy and an abortion didn't changeher sexualbehavior.She had kept her secret so long that shehad inflated ideasaboutwhat other peoplecould accomplish. kb She becomingincreasingly more difficult to do it all with so many conflicting demands her the only way to hide her deficits. The hitch wasthat Debra didn't have a clue about what "normal" was. Although her poor conduct grades reflectedher restlessness. Everyonewould know shewasn'tnormal. Before -in the top 3o/o shegraduated ofher high schoolclassof one thousandpart in many extracurricular she took activities.her secretwould be If out. Lately shefeelsthat she's losingcontrol and that at any moment somethinghorrible is going to happen. Debrawasn'treally functioning very well despiteher carefully constructedfacade. still worksherselfto death. of she caused to do anything that would bring acceptance.You MEnNI'r'rNor Lazy. You might be askinghow someone with ADD could function so well.Her impairedsense sell distortedby differences didn't understand.compelledrc do it all.She didn't sleepmuch because didn't have time-she had to studytwice aslong aseveryshe body elseto leam the material.Debra of is a Perfectionist. Her inability to say"No" got her into serious trouble in all areas of life. Sometimes desperately she longedto get off her treadmill but didn't darerisk disclosure. her Now 32 years old.SruproOn Cnazy?! best. behaviorwasn't her disruptiveenoughto cause serious disciplineproblemsin school.shehad sexwith any boy who asked and pushedthe bad feelingsabout herselfto the back of her mind.shefollowed the rules and did what wasaskedof her. shefailed to do everything. \fell. Everyonecountedon her to volunteer for any task that neededto be done. Debrais marriedand hasa setof twins and a successful business. She thought that if shesaid"No" ro anyrhing.In general. Children.She regularly"pulled all-nighters"and never had time to relax or hang out.

Knowing that she hasjust about pushedherselfbeyondher limits. The Blamer Steve never admits he'smade a mistake. There are many Debra'saround. feelsterrible inside.he accuses his his secretary losingthem. It's interesting to speculate numthe bersof supermen and women who strugglewith disability beneath their in controlexteriors.When he can't find important papers the blackhole in that constitutes office. kids and employees of his by flying off the handle and accusingthem when anything goeswrong. He terrorizes wife. shewonderswhen she'll totally self-destruct. .She'strying to gain control of her life by taking careof everything and everybody.She she has to spendall her energyrunning and hiding behind her facadeof perfection.Readers who are familiar with codependency may recognize similar traits in Debra. Recoveringcodependentscould tell her that it doesn'twork.TUENor So FrNe Anr OpCoprNc She can't keep all the piecestogetheranymore. \fhile Debramay look good to outsiders.

joined in he to he the laughterashis buddiescarriedhim down the aisleon their shoulders. still feelslike the kid who wasregularlyridiculed and he punished. He loves to engagein lively discussions about current eventswith his friends and anyone elsewho will listen. Steveis a chronic Blamer.You MsaNI'u Nor Ltzy.If his kids don't understand instructions. Steveis shieldinghimself againstfeelingsof inadequacy shifting the blame to others. Nothing seems bother him. To maintain their fragile emotional equilibrium. ttWho Cares?tt Jim is 30 yearsold and has worked asa waiter or cab driver most of his adult life.The badpersonkeepsothers off balancewith angerand hostility but not necessarily with criticism.lf food falls out when he jerks the refrigeratordoor open. He is intelligent and well-informed. accidents don't exist. Most peoplewho know Steve characterize him as an arrogantSOB. and his family beginsto believe they are at fault. his he blamesit on their stupidityor inattention. even when bosses to and coworkersask him to work unpopularor extra hours.At his legendaryhigh school graduation (his friendswere amazed ever managed graduate). Peopleenjoy being aroundJim because he's likable and easygoing.Enduringhis daily accusations anger.This keepseveryonefrom by looking too closelyat his performance. It's an impossibilitythat his instructionswere unclear.aggressive exterior is a scared. rejectedkid. for Jim makesexcuses the peoplewho do him wrongor maintains that 86 .Thpesfrom the pastkeep playing in his head. he yells at his wife for putting the groceries awayincorrectly. to For the blamer. "How could you be so stupid! You'll never be worth anything!" The defense mechanismof Blarning similar to BeingBad except that is the blamer fendsoff peopleby actively accusingthem of stupidity or wrongdoing.They know he won't complain. He has a good sense humor about things in genof eral and himself in particular. Blamerscan never let anything go. Srupn On Cnazy?! At 28 yearsold. they must have a scapegoat blame for everythingthat happens. \Uhat they don't realizeis that beneathhis blustery.He's terrified that he'll be exposedfor the bumbling idiot he really is. Although he'sa successful businessman.

took twice the customarytime for her to complete college.a 47 yearold mother of two. shehad always held jobs well below her educationallevel.She doesn'town a VCR or clothes' dryer.The problem is.Beforechoosingto stayhome with her children. anyway.Anr Or CoprNc THsNor So FrNs to the things they do don't bother him. wise useof resources enablesher to devote time to her family Jane's and have enough left over to pursueher own interests.She "Doth protesttoo much" when shescoffs academic at and careerachievement. is intelligent and creativeand has ADD madeschoola impressive artistic talents.Janeisn't entirely comfortablewith her decision. both are careJim'sindifferenceis passive fully designedmasks. He professes be content with his life the way it is. usesso much energyon defensethat she can't acceptherselfor honestly evaluate is her choices.Jane's It monumental struggle.She is goodsothersconsidernecesleamedto live without the many consumer sities. both pretend that things out of reach the fox in the sour grapes' arroganceand Jim's indifference aren't worthwhile.She spends is but and Jane's assertive. Secretlyhe feelsbad that he didn't go to college did.Perhaps choices 8i . high blood many pressure and an ulcer that regularlyflairs up. competition and materialismin Janeis outspokenabout the excessive proud of her skill at budgetingmoney and has today'ssociety. He isn't at peacewith himself and has ashis brothers and sisters physicalsymptomsto prove it: tension headaches. fable.Susan's are shieldsof armor to prevent anyonefrom seeingtheir disabilites. with Jim feelsthat he's a failure and maskshis feelingsof inadequacy persona. There is a distinctively angry defensiveedgeto her voice when she much time explaining herself. She Janedoesn'tfeel successful.Her choice of saying"No" to the rat race to live by her own values.Despiteher gifts.Perhaps beneaththe bristly Wha Caresdefense a real the desireto accomplishsomeof the things admirable. Jane. rationalizesher life choices. knowledge his \X/ho Cares His wide circle of friendsand broad The defense mechbasedon't make up for his academicshortcomings. Borrowing from anism he usesto protect himself is similar to Susan's. Janepresentsa slightly different version of the Who Caresdefense.

He is a-ngry himself for his shortcomingsand at the peoplewho at take advantage him. Facedwith a tediousor difficult task. she works so hard at protecting her fragile ego rhat shehas little energyleft for living the life she has chosen. His "what me w_orry" attitude maskshis real feelingsthat probably include anger. Sometimes actshelpless.he relieson the women in his life to support him. Todd manipulates them by usingguilt. He never pulls his weight at work." Sometimes tells a tale of woe about his bbsspiting work he on him or about emergencies his life.He T.rieholdand social appeal-whatever maneuverwill work in a given situation. Fdd usuallymakesdecentmoneybur regularlyendsup flat broke because he'scareless impulsivewith hir rp"nding. living arrangemenrs iobs. His armor protectshim but alsopr"u. His women do more than simply contriburero his financial support. Manipulation arrracriveand charming. If he'sever able to let his guarddown.rrt.+zy. relying insteadon his masrery manipulationro ger oth"r.uho cin do it.They are alsochargedwith keepinghim out of trouble. he gettingcoworkers do his 1obunder the guiseof teachinghim. frequentlychanges relationships. charm. Regrettably. Ji-. he'll need to confront his If ?ng_er: he can leam to deal with his feelingsup front.boyishmanner asa powerful lure to hook others his into willingly taking careof him. "l never wasany good at that.he simply changes or ger jobs. I really admirepeople. on the other hand. As soonas he feelsrestless coworkers on to him. SruproOn Cnezy?! shehas made are right for her. of him from grapplingwith ambitionshe'snever been able^to admit. 88 .Todd flattersand cajolesothers into bailing him out. can't realisticallyassess himselfbecause he worksso hard at prerendingnorhing bothershim. to do of the work for him.You MEeNI'v Nor L. His manipulaiivebeharrin ior usuallyworks and someone stepsin to bail him out. he may even find that his physicalhealth improves. They keep track of his checkbookand his ho. He says something 19 like.dd is 47 y€arsold and is restless. He and uses disarming. To deal with and his financial difficuhies.

He's an ADD adult who has learnedto useManipulationas a cover for his underlyingproblems.If someone are with a physicalhandicap. running scaredall the time.There is a meansto improveone'soddsof survival. to mistakes feelshelpless prevent but He knowshe regularlymakes by them. of ADD adultsin particularcan becomemasters the art of manipulation.we may need to occasionally this defense a matter of survival. So he survives usingother peopleto coverfor him. the stakes great temptation to useany available higher and riskier.Manipulation may be a dirty word but everyone Although we may not like being manipulatedas usesit on occasion. however. He lives in a constant stateof emergency. ulate like someone unfeelinguserwho will stop at nothing Todd might seemlike a ruthless. doesn'tconnect his actionswith their impact on others.learningdisabilityor ADD. his Todd simplyhasn't figuredout an altemative method for satisfying He nor His manipulationsareneither conscious premeditated. to ensurethat his needsare met. Websterdefinesmanipulatingas"controlling or playing on others usingunfair means".His impulsivity and lack of attention to detail makehim unawareof much of his behavior and its consequences.His behaviorsounds lot but like an alcoholic's he doesn'tdrink. He isn't pure villain. as use puppetson a string.THr Nor So FtNrAnr Or CoprNc Often he manipulateshis current woman into keepinghim together enoughto hold down his 1ob. It's a tough. competitiveworld out there with dire consequences for thosewho sink to the bottom of the heap.Many of the newly homelessare hardworking folk who slid over the line into poverty following startsout in life a setback such asunemploymentor illness. needs. 89 . He hasjust leamedto manipwho does. monitors his performanceand smoothsthings over with the bosswhen Todd up. messes More often than not.She getshim up in the moming. he endsthe relationshipwhen he a by feelstoo constrained the "mothering". It's the only way he knows to survivealthoughhe'sawarethat it's unacceptable for a grown man to be caredfor this way.

After a childhood of academic and social failures.has no closefriends and spends most of her free time watching TV. . She has chosento accepther mediocrity.SruproOn Cnazy?! This isn't to saythat the majority of peoplewith disabilities become manipulative. Barb is different from most of the ADDers you've mer in this chapter. her Although Barb has an aboveaverageIQ. 90 .loneliness and depression.*t"nt of her sociallife. she is a marginal wbrker on the job. Insulatedfrom pain by suppressing feelingsof inadequacy. This defenseis a cousin to the \XAoCaressrancebut operates slightly differently. Barb can'r make a thoughtful decisionabout her life. She is neither hyperactivenor impulsive. shehasdecidedthat giving up is the safesr thing shecan do.The price she paysis a life of boredom.Barb's handicaphasnever been identified. h" On continuesto think about theseissues that trouble him. She spends vacationstaggingalongwith her parents.You MpnNI'v Nor Lnzy. Occasionally she goesout to dinner with a coworkerbut that's th.Twenty-five yearsold. The Barbisof this world haven't madepeacewith themselvgs-i1'sas if rhev'reburied alive.however. somele""l. But is it worth it? Similar to many ADD adults. She has chosensurvival through Withdrawal. on the other hand. Barb believesthis characrerization. She isn't anxiousabouther performance and doesn'tworry abo.rihe.Barb has given up completelyand hascarefullyburiedher feelingsand doubts.Most are rather heroic in their striving to achieve. She has rarely dated.They qelgrall-v9op9by learning to work harder than non-dirabled people. maintainsnagging doubtsabouthis abilitiesand lack of achievement.She never givesany thought to the possibilitythat her life could be different.Jim. She makesmany mistakesand has trouble keeping up with her colleagues.Everyone has alwaystold her that she is lethargic and spacey. lessthan glowing appraisals. ADD adults. of Withdrawal Barb is both unattachedand detached.have additionalrisk factorsthat increase ihe oddsof their becomingmasrers manipulation. she lives with her parentsand works as a file clerk. Barb is freefrom thl risksshe would faceif shedecidedto live her life fully.

aren't always this is the way sheacts.When her husbandasksif shehas taken especially She offersa long-winded explanout the trash.making her saintlyhusband's miserable. Her soul is raw from all the for times sheworkedher heart out only to be chastised the one thing of shedidn't do. she switchesto the attackingher husbandfor overworkingher with his demands.wonderinghow his good intentions wearilyretreats endedup in this ugly scene. he Paula's husbandaskedabout the trashonly because wasgoing outwanted to take it with him if it wasstill in the house. on She Paula's defense serves anotherpurpose. inoculates againstrequests It her for her time or energy.THENor So FrNs Anr OpCoprNc Chip on the Shoulder poises full-scale for While Barb quietly withdraws. that is always life Paulais a selfishshrew.The intensity of her defensive stancemay be out of proportion to the imaginedslight but her life experiences have taught her to expectcriticism.But appearances Paulais an ADD adult who spent much of her childhood rebukedfor things sheforgot to do or didn't finish. offensive.She ruminatesabout the injusticesin her life and the unfairnessof it all. of excuses explanations.He sideand from the house.shefrantically tries to keepup with demands Her prickly shell fendsoff at leastsomeof the times overwhelming. she reactsdefensively. As she becomesincreasinglyangry and indignant.With deficits that interfere with an organized that are somelifestyle. She can never let down her defenses. is Paula'sChip on The Shoulder a protective suit of armor designedto shoreup her sense self. has to be readyfor the next assault her being. respondingto innocent comShe has a colossalChipon the Shoulder.Paulaaggressively moment of her life.She continually defends of herselfasa matter of reflex even when sheisn't being attacked. ation of why shehasn't been able to get around to the chore yet.Paularetreatsto nurseher angerat a world dissatisfied with her efforts. 9T . least and At mentswith a barrage defensive what they seem. Her life hasbeen filled with falseaccusations thoughtlessness laziness that no one knew weresymptoms her subtle of and disability. but has developed an battle every prickly suit of armor. She'sonly 19.

fre. Pete disarms most peopleby being the first to admit his weaknesses. "'What you seeis what you get" Pete.Or hashe?What makesPetedifferent from the selfconfident peoplewe described? differenceis that Pete's The Take Me Or LeaveMe attitude is a carefullyfabricatedfacadebehind which he hides. Peteis aTal<eMeor Leaqre man in his mid-'30's.You MpnNI'ruNor Lazy. for There isn't anything inherently bad about emotional self." Th"y userhis posrurein a positive way.He comesacross honest. \7ouldbe critics find the wind taken out of their sailswhen Petebeatsthem to the punch by making a joke abouthis failings. Thke Me or Leave Me You probablyknow highly effectivepeoplewhoseself. less Pete.has chosena positive coping mechanism. She focuses exclusivelyon protection.defense in the faceof real injustice.y are unlikely. straightforwardand comfortable-with as his limitations.drawing peopleto him with his sense humor and gift of of gab.He leaves them with nothing ro say.Th.confidence you admire. He sincerelyapologizes when he misses imporrant an deadlineat work or forgetsto attend his daughter's school pluy.SruproOn Cnezy?! extra demandsas it makespeople rhink twice about approachingher with questionsor requests her involvement. never allowing herselfto find the strengths that would leadto positivegrowrh. In Paula's case. and They assume healthy attitude of "'!7har you seeis what you ger-I'm okay a and have nothing to hide. He uses excellent sense humor to his of createa smokescreento hide difficulties and deflect criticism. He quently makeshimself the butt of his own wastetime on relationshipsthat probably wouldn't work anyway. for example.. .doesit to 92 .He is attractive Me and affable. however.however.They are self-assured comfortablewith themselves. He is a grown-up classclown who "keeps'em laughing" so no one will notice the things he can't do. It's healthy to take ourselves seriously.her knee-jerkdefensiveness the maladaptivesuit she wearsevery moment of her life. is She has sufferedso many woundsthat she can't differentiate between real and imaginedassaul$.

She alwaysattributes her family'sproblemsto extemal eventsand people.but he'stotally undependable. preIt vents the introspectionhe needsto makepositivechanges his life. She explainsthat she stoppedtaking the medicinebecause interferedwith her sleepbut it shenever botheredtelling her doctor about the sideeffect.She works hard at a difficult parenting job but her children continue to be unruly. He'sbusyhiding and is unawareof the increasing frustration and anger of his friends.Pete's to have naggingfeelingsthat somethingis a "good guy". \fhen a crisiserupts. but they never do. Her deficits make it nearly impossibleto provide the firm disciplineand structureher children need so 93 . Donna is 34 years and hasgiven up a professional old careerto stayhome with her three children who are all hyperactiveand disobedient. isn't doing basically He anything to improve himself. in It Ain't So Donna'sfamily of five lurchesfrom crisisto crisis.Euerythingwillbe of is or a fine when the excitement Christmas oqter whenoneof the kids gets new teacher. She spends much of her time waiting for things to return to normal.They continue to forgive his failings but are beginning rotteninDenmark. Pete's copingmechanism doesprotecthim. rarelyraisingher voice to her children or asserting herselfwith other adults. It's obviousto anyonewho knows Donna that her ADD has a big impact on the problemsshe experiences. Her physicianprescribedRitalin and shetook it for a short while. The chaoscreatedby her unruly children overwhelmsher.sheconsultswith professionalsbut promptly disregards their advice. never doesanyhe thing about them! He retreats behind his self-deprecating facadeinsteadof honestlystudyinghis behavior. but it's maladaptive. Donna is gentle and spacey. Though he readilyadmitshis weaknesses. His mistakesare getting lessfunny and his refusalto take anything seriously causingincreasing is resentment. SeveralyearsagoDonna wasdiagnosed with ADD.She deniesthat a real problemexists.and her householdremains noisy and disordered.TUE Nor So FINEAnr Or CoprNc excess.

Learned Helplessness Tiacy is a modern day Prissy. The end of a relationshipor a job. shehas spenryearsleaming to play the role ro rhe hilt. sheconrinuesto attribute her problemsto somethingor somebody else.however. Donna is in grievingthe lossof aperfect. Because can't acknowledge limitations shecan'r move she her beyond them toward a stageof acceptance.You MenNI'v Nor Lxzy.Unable to own her ADD. flaky servantgirl in the movie Gone the With theWind who didn't "know nothin' 'bour birthin' babies'l Plaved by Butterfly McQueen.She refuses ro take neededmedicationor avail herselfof professional hetp. continuesto deludeherselfinto thinking she can manage She everything by herself. shecan ever faceher If situationrealistically. replaced self with the label of ADD.Denial is an integralpart of grief when a to loved one dies.Tiacy of has leamed that helplessness works aseffectivelyfor her as it did for Prissy.She chooses deny they exist. She expendsconsiderable energyrrying to keep everythingtogerher."Srupid like a fox" Prissy usedher helplessness a mechanism control as for without risking the severe consequences outright rebellion.healthy .Her misguided efforts. Donna uses her It Ain't Sodefense run frantically in circles.trying to to avoid facing herself.It providestime for mobilizingsrrengrhro copewith the realizationof the loss.Denial is a healthy.SruproOn Cnnzy?! desperately. Prissy affecteda simple-minded that helped air her avoid responsibilities. Similar to a widow who keepsher long deceased spouse's belongings if he werestill alive.essential srepthar leads to ultimate acceptance.image can alsoset the grief process motion. the lossof a body part or an alteration in self. she'll be able to useher creativemind to find solutions. e4 . Donna avoidsher problemsthe way Scarlett O'Hara avoidedhers. Donna is stuck in as denial. Approaching her fiftieth birthday. She has always known that somethingwaswrong but hasn't found comfort in her diagnosis.don't yield results. In the era of slaverythis defense wasboth clever and appropriate.

95 . ADD has alwaysmade her feel unableto copewith the realitiesof her life. Few men usethis some to helplessness surviveand exercise playinghelpless isn't an acceptable male role because coping strategy Men can't get awaywith it! in our society. his needs. At work he alwayssetsthe agendaat meetings If elsechairsa meeting.sheavoids at her responsibilities work and in her sociallife by getting othersto do everything for her. He makesall decisions home and on the job. aren't trying to is feminine role. Her helplessness a coping ing Tracy in her maladaptive groupssuch asminorities of usedby many members oppressed strategy was. rules". poor.She openly uses contrasting asher ploy.If you are otherwisepowerless Prissy control. She smilescharmingly asshe appealsto others helplessness for help. She manages remain unstressed. Her method differsfrom Todd's.. He monopolizes at having the last word. Controlling similar.Or should he? of his againstextemal rewards financial gain. LearnedHelplessto ness makesher life easierto handle. his He regards beautiful wife asan eamed bonus and trea$ her as a in subject his kingdom.Similar to the manipulator. even when it isn't his responsibility.TUE Nor So FINIAnr Or Copnc Tlacy never worriesabout failure. someone steeringit in a direction that suits the he subtlyundermines agenda. He has the undisputed usedhis intelligence.At 56 can use as and women.Jackhas aggressively reHe to lentlesslyclimbed high on the ladderof success. She flattersand booststhe egosof her rescuers. ruler of his kingdomsat home and at work. he has orchestrated success and insistson conversations of the peoplein his life. she can feel comfortableenough to risk failure and find success.He establishes by the adage. Jackmeasures success his through his domination Unfortunately. dumblittle me act with their competence. .creativity and high energylevel to rise to a high and poweredposition in a largecorporation. Tracyneedshelp in affirmingher abilitiesso but alsounchallenged. he lives You probablyknow Jackor someone himself as "He who has the gold. seems have used and shouldbe congratuthe symptoms his ADD to his advantage of lated for his efforts. her Although Tracy is bright and personable. her as Women have beenfrequentlycharacterized incompetentand help'We perpetuatean unfortunate stereotype castby less.

and by Controlling behaviorlike Jack's.rg *"n. SruproOn Cnnzy?! 1r t o L/ . the the helpless woman. His wife is fed up and is thinking about leavinghim.You MEnNI'v Nor LAzt. is the way he is. Usually they are toppledmore quickly.d "-ployeesare readyto lynch him. I I I I I I He makesunilateraldecisions. however.controlling behaviorin females isn't accepted any more than helplessness in men. often incurring the wrarh of his peers for his failure to consultwith them.can be more than an expression one'snature. Certainly and there arewomen who operarein similar fashionto Ja&. he'sjust a controlling kind of guy. He has madean impressive arrayof enemies who would like nothing more than to overthrow king.Jackrepresents JustasTracyseems stereotyped the stereotyped domineering.In general."k's true that men and women with ADD may be aggressive bossy temperament.It can t" of " learneddefense mechanism that becomes hiding placefrom deficits. is One could arguethat "The way Jack is. His resentfulcolleagues u.aggressive controlli. a 96 .

THpNor So Fwr Anr Or CoprNc \Uhile it isn't readily apparentfrom his behavior. As Chris approaches forty-ninth birthday. In the next section. At home. Human behavioris too complexto explain within the context of defensemechanisms alone. Energeticoptimism.'3Peoplein our societynormally experience some regretat leavingchildhood and taking on adult responsibilities. from themselves of examinedthe rationale for their choicesand the waysin which their coping strategiesare maladaptive. He has a personalitythat attractspeople. defense mechanismmay backfire.K. Character Sketches of Folk You May Know The ADDers you've met useacquireddefense 'We've to protect mechanisms public exposure their deficits. Chris ts a PeterPan who has decidedthat growing up is simply not worth it. 97 . Most of us. By not letting anyoneelsecontribute. work. he continues to live in a his stateof perpetualchildhood.ttgJacklives in perpetualterror of looking stupid. The Peter Pan Syndrome3 48 Going on 12 popularized a You may be familiar with thePeterPanSyndrome.we have designed them to illustratewhat can happen if ADD symptoms flourish without control or intervention. in book on the subject. MaladaptiveADD behaviorsare a combination of variousleameddefensive maneuvers and specificdeficits. however.One falsemove Jack'sControlling and he may maneuverhimself out of a job and a family.manageto bite the bullet and make the transition into adulthood.Thesevignettesaren't condemnationsof ADDerswe get plenty of theml Rather.a wacky sense humor and a warm acceptance of of others make the people around him feel good. he avoidsthe confusion and he embarrassment feelswhen questionsand commentsderail him. Beneaththe defenses the individual charare we acteristics arebom with.we'll look more closelyat behavioralmanifestations of specificdeficits. he controls his family's agendato avoid the risk that his wife will choosean activity that will At exposehis weaknesses. he commanlsall discussions because he knows he'sonly effective when he follows his own train of thought.

i.SruproOn Cnnzy?! He afways more invitations rhan he can accepr. impossible pin down. He to refuses make plans.You MpeNI'u Nor LAzv. After an initial periodof an intenseconnection. 98 . His work becomes sloppyand careless. mance.His high energy and level and intelligencegenerate expectations superiorjob perfo for r. Chris switchesto another one. The to notion of commitment to goalsor a relationshipis incomprehensible to Chris. has The ease with which he connectswith peoplepromises intimacy that never materian alizes. !7hen-a job becomes boring or a bossbeginspr"r*.preferringto live from moment to moment.After an initial burst of energy. He just wants to have fun and is mystifiedwhenother people feel betrayed his broken promises by He disappoints bosses coworkersaswell asfriends. Chris typically becomes bored with a project and loses motivation.would-belovers and closefriendsfind him an him to get serious.

But if and we allow our essential nature to have free rein. we grow and are socialized family As bV and society. writing. heedless our responsiof bilities and our impact on other people. becoming lifers in the Acadnmy Space CaABts! for Seanis 37 yearsold and has joined the academy. obliviousto the world aroundhim. The Space Cadet It isn't uncommon for ADD adults to saythey are spacey. \il/hen they begin to make demandsfor a more committed relationship.Seantakeslittle notice of practicalities.that he'sjust operaringunder a different set of rules. The women hurt by his "love 'em and leave'em" lifestylefeel usedand abused.But now he'smarriedand has 99 .TUENor So FrNrAnr Or CoprNc Loversget similar treatment. can drift mindlessly through life. \Uhen he wassingle. they can becomedisorientedand forgetful.his lifestylewasn'ta problem. we can begin to resemble '!7e Chris.Some of us. however. PeterPan.He spends days his daydreaming. \Uhen the mental fog descends.He lives accordingto the pleasure principle and its primary goal of maximizingpleasure and minimizing pain. they find that Chris has moved on. Chris believes. to He doeshis own thing. and having long philosophicalconversations with his cronies.The we of to psychologically healthy adult leamsto strike a balancebetweenher needsand the needsof the peoplein her world. All of us operateon the pleasure principle to a certain extent. is a gentle soul He with a fanciful imagination and a gift for poetry. we'revirtual bundlesof wants and needswithout any sense of peopleoutsideourselves.however. \7hen we'rebom. Chris is an adult by virtue of his chronologicalagebut he hasn't developedpsychologically emotionallybeyonda child of t7. gain awareness our responsibilities others.settle too comfortablyinto waking dreamstates. lifelongsense A of playfulness an ability to take risksare delightful qualities.He earns meager wages a writer but doesn'tworry because as material things are of no consequence him. Similar to or just don'twannagrowup.he Peoplewith ADD often have many childlike qualities.

She'sterrified that the toddler would poison herselfright under her daddy'slessthan watchful eye. She reluctantlycontrolsher impulsiveand hedonistic tendencies enoughto eam a living. He tries to do wharever they ask of him-that is. She wearsa bored expression and frequenrlyyawnswhen people talk 100 . You may know Ginny. however. chatting on rhe phone with friends. Sean is alwayspleasant and soft spokenwith his spouse and children. She is an ADD adult in her late '20'swho works job full time at a secretarial sheabsolutely hates.She doesn'rdo anything about changingher work situation. when they manageto caprurehis arrenrion! Sadly.They cut loosewheneverthey can. Sean's wife is exhaustedand at her wit's end trying to cope single-handedly with the largefamily.Seanmakeslittle effiortto rune in to the world around him.doing her nails and dreamingabout winning the lottery.He never serour to dump all the responsibilityin his wife's lap but that's effectively what has happened.enduring the work week that paysfor her fun. Even though Sean'sADD can't be cured.You MrnN I'u Nor L. Seanmay not be a manipulativeuserbut he certainly isn't off the hook. doesn't He euennotice. Someadultswith ADD don'r even rry ro curb their impulsivity. He playswith the kids when he wakesup long enough ro norice rhem but his wife rarely leaveshim alone with them. It's okay to retreatto a dreamworld when you have only yourselfto consider. dog while he " sits and daydreams.because thinks she all lobs are probablyequallyboring. The varied dutiesand details of family life totally escape him.Seanisn't callouslyallowing his wife to work iik.It's a different story entirely when you're responsible a for family and the welfareof young children. he'sconrent to spendtime his drifting on his own mental clouds. Right now he's too comfortablein the fog that obscures things he shouldworry about.qzy. The Party Animal The Party Anima|lives for the weekend. short of getting into big trouble. but lets them run amok after hours. At work shespends much time as asshe can get awaywith. Unlesssomeone demands attention.he could work harderto shoulderhis responsibilities. SruproOn Cnnzy?l four children.

Her partying crowd seems be getting younger to younger. isn't only empry It but downright dangerous this ageof deadlydiseases rampant in and drug problems.Friendsher own ageare settling down to careergoalsand and families.ffi. making only brief as contactswith individual men. . we have a hard time modulatingour erratic moods. Jeffhas a serious caseof Emononal Inconnnence. Ginny as you wouldn't even recognize.Ginny has been feeling a to little uneasyabout her lifestyle-one of her friendsrecently testedpos. Lately. hasn't apparentlyheard she about safesex or the joys of sobriety. however. sooner Ginny may besingrng . than shethinks.TUENor So FINE Anr Or CoprNc to her. we At 27 yearsold. Emotional Incontinence This behaviordoesn'thave anything to do with bodily functions! Rathet it is rampant. After the happy hour.uncontrolledemotionaloutput.First. the handson the clock point to 5:00 p. As ADDers.Stayingreasonably calm can be a full time job! Unlesswe want other peopleto write us off as immature or crazyr have to expend the effort.She getsmore than a little smashed she flirts her way around the room.. She bidesher time. Nonstop partying is a lifestylethat beginsto look pathetic asthe years go by and the expectedsettling down never happens. itive for the HIV virus.dancing and anything elsethat seems be fun.She has a great sense fun and enough energyto get any party off the ground.shehits several HaPPyHours with a group of partying friends. Ginny and her friendsgo out dancingand usuallyclosethe placedown. She spendsa good chunk of her paycheckon clothes and most of her free time on shoppingand scopingout the latest dancesand fads.drugs. "The Party'sOver". tums into someone Her routine follows the samepattem everyweek. counting off the daysuntil the glorious TGIF! On Fridays. Ginny has never had trouble finding other Party Animnls. He 101 .Despite her talent for tracking current fashions. of Her weekendis an endless round of sex.

60 year old Mary easilymadefriends with coworkers. everyonefearsthe effectsof her loosetongue.SruproOn Cnezyl! doesn'tmake any effort to control his extremeups and downs. The members his householdfeel exhausted of and tense.Peoplelike Jeffwho don't control their emotional output run the risk of becomingcaricatures themselves. RrnnorDistnbutionMannger. !7ith her warmth. Sadly. But she t07 . sinking into gloom or becominginfectedwith socialsituationsbeyondhis home. as They ignore his great ideasbecause alwaysexpresses he them in an embarrassing outpouringof enthusiasm.Jeffdoesn'thave any impact at all. aswell. His family ridesthe roller coaster alongwith him. of The Blabber M"ry is Jeff'scloserelative. cowering from his rages. They depletetheir energyreserves they try to cope with his moodas iness. Other peoplesizehim up quickly and decidenot ro take him seriously. pathy.She alsohas a bad caseof incontinence but hers is VerbalInconnnence. She isn't a viciousback-stabber.The atmosphere his houseis alwaysrhick with the fallour from his latest in mood. Although her official title is "Manager of Order Processing". In Jeff'scase. They view his rages the pathetic tantmms of a young child. has lost more than one job because his temperand is close He of to losinghis secondwife.evoking laughter rather than em. able giddiness.Acquaintances him on the head asthey quickly pat dismiss him.Her new friends. more is definitely less. good listening skills and grandmotherlymanner. colleagues her have dubbedher TyphoidMary. They ffeat him asa child who lacksrestraint. truly caresabout her colleagues She and wantsto lend a listeningear when they have problems.quickly learnedto keep their distancewhen they discovered that M"ry talked asmuch asshe listened! Now. They can count on hearing the latest office dirt from Mary who has assumed responsibilityfor broadcasting everyone's confidential information.Emotional expression greater has impact asit becomes more inlsn5g-but only to a point! Dramacan quickly deteriorateinto melodrama. however.You MEaNI'u Nor Lnzy.

At h9 pushes way through life. Richard'smother says wasborn with a will of iron and a voice that he could shatterglass with a whisper.many ADDers feel comof pelled to spendinordinaretime and energytrying ro pass normal.r". Throughout childhood. he'sawareo.Now that he'sa 43 yearold adult. of knew we had! ".he made ryeryone in the householddanceto rhe tune of his angry cries. can't understandwhy others are upsetwhen she shares she their secrets.From his earliesr days. Lacking an understanding their deficits.ivl" and it has left him with an empty life. He'sobliviousto rhe impact of his forceful nature and is honestly puzzled when orherskeep him at arm's length.someADDers bulld"oze their way through their li..res. the negatives ADD comprise that of only one dimension of the disorder. leavinglittle untouchedor unharmed. In similar fashion. Please remember. as 103 .tly of his goals his and takeslittle notice of the peoplehe shoves asidero reachtheir. The angryreactionsthat greether newscontinually surprise thevf The Bulldozer A bulldozeris a well-designed pieceof machinery. Since shehasno qualmsabout sharingher own deepest secrers with total strangers. Richard really doesn'tget it at all. short order.This is Richard's. Mary the human raceis just one big huppyfamily and To familiesdon't keepsecrers from eachorher. he went directly for anything he wanted and shovedanybodyasidewho gor in his way. There are differences specificsymproms in and in the wayseachofirs manages thesedifferences. ADDers come in an usort*"rrt of packages. he seems ruthlessand cold ashe continuesto bulldozehis way over other people's feelings.barren can In transforman acreof tree-covered land to a flattened. Many of us do an amazingly wonderfullob of coping with symptoms the ADD we neve.THr Nor So FrNrAnr Or CoprNc fails to reflect on the confidentiality of sharedinformation and indiscriminately and inappropriately distribwes rumors . He doesn'tunderstand why peopleseemto avoid him. is successful business lives in a He in but lonely world.

The fact is.Monday through Fridayduring the schoolyear. is a vital. Many of squarely us."Thke this pill twice a day.we resignourselves the "truth" of the assumptions madeabout us-we are indeedlazy.You MEaNI'rr.alongwith the peoplein our lives. out impostors willbe found" at anymoment.many of us with ADD can passasnormal (whatever normal means). We can idensuccesstify with the adultsin this chapterwho have beensomewhat ful in their effortsbut who have paid dearly for fitting in. the prescriptionwasfor Ritalin and patience.sheusuallyattributedit to a poor motivation or a dysfunctional of family. in We spend ow hiues fear. it isn't surprisingthat somelighter skinnedBlacksmanaged their lives by pretendingthey werewhite. SruptoOn Cnezv?! This is a term we've borrowedfrom Afro-American history. who feelinglike A recurring theme throughout the vignettes is the importanceof facing one'sbehaviorsand honestlyevaluatingthem.and wait until you outgrowyour hyperactivity in adolescence. \7e have never consideredour behaviors as assymptoms and haven't analyzed coping strategies defense our Lacking knowledgeabout mechanisms to hide inadequacy.+zv.!7e work hard at hiding our differences.Even when a diagnosis hyperactivitywasmadein childhood. diagnosticevaluationof this 104 . With a long history of discrimination in this country.have spentlifetimeswondering why we do the things we do. As you may guess. In similar fashion. of In the next chapterwe'll look at the process a diagnosticevaluation information that can help you make somedecisionsabout and share the accessing help.r Nor L. many of our readers it Although there isn't anything magicalabout a diagnosis."Someof us have beenwaiting a very long time for this miraculouschangeto occur! at have never been evaluated all.stupidor crazy! If a parent or teachersuspected problem. you have ADD. you owe it to yourselfto have a complete certain that evaluation. Even if you feel fairly initial stepin changingfaulty self-perceptions. developed to the role ADD playsin our lives.

Tur Nor So FINE Anr Or CoprNc ADD adultsis lesswell definedthan that of children. So. you'll need to proceedwith caution in finding the professional you'll work with in this important part of your recovery. 105 .

the process never even beginsbecause symptoms behavthe are ioral. usuallygoessomethinglike this: It Behavi s-f aulty as or swnpnons-blnme-pwti shmentPOOR PROGNOSISJ For many. A throat culture uncoversa strep infection and the patient takesa round of antibiotics and goeson his way.He has come to expectthat powerfulantibioticswill quickly and easilyfix his illness. comesfrom talking with a friend whose It descriptionof his ADD sounds remarkablysimilar to our own behaviors.Many peopleview behaviorasthe cause. Often. diagnosed Adults in supportgroupstalk of learning about their ADD in all these proways.I THINK. not the symptom of disorder.I HAUE ADD DO WHAT I DONOW? Tn.Most of theseadultssaythey waited a while beforeseeking fessional help to confirm their self-diagnoses.. who are "chips off the old block". diagnosis treatmentof a gardenvariety illnessis fairly straightand forward.A few dayslater he feelsgreat. It comeswhen our children.Crteprgn 6 I KNOW. are with ADD.if not most of us. not physical..He viewshis medicalcareasa relatively simple process: Symptom s-me dicaI tests-diagno sis. comesfrom readingan ADDer's life story that It could be our autobiography.the initial discovery ADD doesn'tcome of from a professional...treatment-C URE J The process uncoveringADD is considerably of more complicated. They usedthis time to 106 .

l TurN<.The gloyp can give you a list of ADD informed professionPgrt als in your area.many resorted readingthe predominantlychild oriented to literature.Also askyour local organization put you in touch with other ADD adultswho can tell to you about their experiences with professionals the referrallist.ti. Part of vl.rt \fhen you. Ifyou aren't comfortable as with him after your initial meeting.. Unable to find much informarion aboutADD in adults..referto the resource in the appendix. To you need to do your homework beforeyou make ygul first appointment..I HevpADD-WHnI Do I Do Now? readaboutADD and to examinetheir lives to seeif the information fit their experiences."l report ro you or your psychiatrist.r.informal referralnetwork. You need to proceedcarefully because many good therapists have little knowledg. ADD.I KNow.askasmany questions you want. Your Job as a Mental Health Consumer If you are beginning a similar process self-discovery of your first responsibiliry is to thoroughlyeducate yourselfabout this disorder. 'We 107 . You on may be fortunate to locate an ADD adult supportgroup that can be an invaluable. For help in locating a group in your area.don't hesitatero go on to the next professional your list. lfhen you're readyto proceedwith an evaluation..h. "to. be an informed consumer.first meer with the mental health professional you have chosen.If you don'r speiifically the ask. Your mental health is too important to entrust on to someone you don't think understands your issues."r yor'rlllneedl recommendthat you conracrthe nearest chapterof an ADD supgroup.the professional may just senda highly t".Make surethat you askfor namesof professionals who are competentin diagnosing and treating adults. sureto request follow-up apbe a pointment to discuss resultsof your testing. self-education should include leaming about the professional resources in your community. list Rememberthat you are the customerand a consumerof mental health services. you shouldn't yory firys9rt tlv walkingthloughthe yellow pagesof dD 4t the phone book to find the servi. After the evaluationis completed.

Clinical Psychologist.A neurological disorderor other specific of exceptin cases a seizure ually unnecessary problems.The psychiatrist or cation in concertwith your psychologist aspart of his own overall treatmentplan for you..Psy.D.After all.Although and fall into two broad categories: (psychiatrists) in have expertise testing. nostic evaluationof a suspected yet. Cognitive Psychologist. But a brief clarification It really isn't quite asconfusingas it appears! may of the role of thesevariousprofessionals be in order.M. Educational Psychologist.extensiveneurological with ADD children.Psychiatrist Psychologist. you may alsobe If you haven't gone through the evaluationprocess wonderingwhat to expectduring the testing.this won't be included in the diagattention deficit disorderin an adult. In general.however. neurological your mental health professional make recomwill After the diagnosis. If you have had limited experience you may find a confusingarrayof titles: Ed. Ph. from the field of Clinical Psychology.D.Sruproon Cnazv?! Psychologist or Psychiatrist What's the Difference? with the mental health profession.You MEnNI'u Nor Lezv. procedures often part of a medicaldiagnosis. Although blood tests are used work-upsare sometimes aren't included. ustimes doesthe evaluation.The specialties psyEhologists physicians.. Neuropsychologist. A or Cognitive Psychology. neurologistwho is a medical doctor.D. The Diagnostic Evaluation ask Parents sometimes how they shouldpreparetheir children for the medicalteststhat will be part of the diagnosticprocess-the blood questionsincethesetesting This is a reasonable testsand brain scans.the diagnostic somephysicians will This professional be evaluationis usuallydone by u psychologist. mendationsabout treatment options and may refer you to someone for else.D.. the very thought of testsmav strike terror in vour heart! 108 . Educational Neuropsychology.You can chooseany ADD informed professional subsequent non-medicaltreatmentbut you must consultwith a psychiatrist(Mn1 will prescribe and monitor medifor drug treatment. solrleevaluation.

you may "fail" someof thesetoo. v 2 rv2 r' I t o a (J \ Tests-aren't those things always the we failedlt Well..Eachpsychologist uses slightly differentbatteryof testsfrom a numberof available a choices.ray.l HnvpADD-WHnI Do I Do Now? .The testswill be usedfor the right reasons-for knowledgeand discoveryof your strengthsand weaknesses. but that'sokay. won't have to cram for thesetestsand You we can't even tell you exactlywhich onesto expect.your doctor reduces margin of error by his confirming his diagnosis with the X. of The psychologist usesthe test resultsin much the sameway your physician uses chestX-ray to confirm his diagnosis your pneumonia.rx.. Your psychologist will evaluatethe resultsof theseteststo confirm what he has leamed from the history of your problemsand his observations your behavior. 109 .l THrr. a of Although your physicalexaminationand reportedcomplaintsmay stronglysuggest pneumonia...I KNow.

what they measured how you compared with the normal rangefor a particular and explainsyour results. a flexible. You shoulduseyour follow-up meeting to leam asmuch asyou can about your unique neuropsychological profile. You can expect to leavewith specificinformation about your individual strengthsand weaknesses a frameworkof and treatmentoptions. If you'regoing to usemedicinein your's essential that you establish partnershipwith your physician. You can't expectto leavethis meetingwith all the tools you'll need to manageyour ADD.They provide a more unbiased.You must becomean active participant in your treatment. is magicformula the physiciancan useto determinein advancethe medicine that will work bestfor'll have only half the information you need.You MrnN I'rrr Nor Lezy. If you leave this meeting armedonly with your checklist of deficits. or If your mental health professional becomes defensive patsyou on 'We've find a new one! the headwhen you askquestions offer ideas.fact-findingmission.working with your physicianor psychologist to problem-solve. You should ask questionsabout why certain testswere used. Understanding Your Diagnosis Your follow-up appointmentshouldbe a detailed. or in been contactedbv adultswho can't find informed professionals 110 . mental health professionals often rely on educationaland psychological testing.You must also and the positive have a clear understanding your unique strengths of you compensatory strategies alreadyuse.Finding the right media There isn't any cation and dosage generallya trial and error process. for clarification ask test.\Uhen your psychologist if he uses termsyou don't understand. After the Diagnosis-Your Role in Tireatment The homework you did in locating your mental health professional will pay dividendsasyou begin treatment.Sruproon Cnazy?! Since there are no lab testsavailableto confirm the ADD diagnosis. No two ADD peopleare alike.experimentalapproachto treatment is usuallynecessary. objectivemethod of diagnosis than observation and history alone. Since information about adult ADD is limited.

l TnrNr. You know you're different from someonewithout may have to seekour someone who is willing to leam! The Practical side of Evaluation and TreatmentWhat's it Going to Costl This discussion wouldn't be completewithout a word about cost..Although professional help will likely be an important part of your treatment. you do now is take a deepbreath. ryHAr Do you Do No\r t so \7ltq.kipping your summervacation this year. It is inseparable from who you are.The testingprocess time consumingand can rapidly run up a largebillis the fee for psychological testing.r .I KNow. Somespecifically excludeADD from coverage.askabout approximate costsand waysto cut cornersif you are uninsuredor on a tight budget. \7e don't want to discourage you from s. You are worth the price even if it melr. In a later sectionyelll talk specificallyaboutvariousrreatmentoptions for ADD adults. 111 ."n rurrge from $+OO to$1500. find sometime for yourself and look squarelyar y_our ADD.\fe just want you to be prepared so you can plan and avoid rude financial shocks...Somedon't cover or only partially cover psychological may be able to work out a paymentschedule advan. so you know. Getting Down To Work Okay.. Before committing to testingor treatment. Carefullyscrutinize your insurance policy. \7e firmly beiievethat you arecapableof helping yourselfand we want to help you leam how to do it.eking a diagnosisand treatment. if the b"illfor testing in is too largeto pay at one time. the deficits and grew up with them. or feel fairly certain that an Attention Deficit you know you werebom with Disorderis at the root of your problems.. W. You know you've learnedvarious notsogreat wavs coping of with them.we want to focuspiimarily on self-helpwhich is the guiding principle of this book. should you find in _yourself a similar situation.lrat you do now is decide that you are worth all the work it will take to recover.lHnvr ADD-\UHaIDo I Do Now? their areas.

) 1.t . b)to regain losses) for. Sruptoon Cnnzv?! You MenNI't'. etc. of (oneself)from stumble. of you do now. etc. of Neu. betrayalfeeling. up 2. to compensate make for(torecover etc. balance. oneself-this is getbackconwol udbalance.' Recover: (something stolen. specificguidelines 'SUe that requiresa enough that recoveryis a process can't emphasize lot of work.\7e'11move from the theoretical to the that and suggestions can make recoverypossible. etc. of back 3.Nor Ll'zv.. saqJe To regain. lost. a slip. compensate. a)to get(oneself) toa state control. The remainderof this book is about this process what practical and offer recovery. WorldDictionary theAmericanlangrage. You must commit yourselfto believing that you are worth all the work it will take to recover. or b)tocatch save 1980 SimonandShuster. a)togetback (health. composure. It isn't somethingthat will magicallyhappenafter you read this book. tn .) consciousness.

If socieryhas leamedanything are from the effortsof the physicallydisabledto gain equal access.I KNow. Most of us haven't grown up with the benefit of knowing we had a handicap.? ADD is inseparable If from you are. We made rhis observarionat the outsetbut what doesit really mean?ADD is an acronymfor Attention Deficit Disorder. Grapplingwith that knowledgeon an emotional level. Deficit.right?\7e11. whareverthat may have been and admit that your problemswon'r go awayby changingyour job. your friends or your spouse. ADD is inseparable from who you are. offer to and so many talentsto discover!Let'sget startedand take a look at someimportant issues you'll need to consider. The vaguefeeling you've alwiys had that somethingwaswrong has been confirmed and given a name... it should be easyto make a recipe to rum out a must never focusmore on your disabilitiesthan the total personyou a very different and difficult proposition: It is o task of truly accepting thnt you (nen't perfect.You have so muctr.\7e grew up thinking we just weren't assmart.You won't be sorry. doesn'tquite work that way. thal it.we can assume that you'vemadethis important commitment to yourself.however.It's a totally ignore your differences. You mus! ray good-byeto your old self-image. If more rime and energywere spent developing the unique abilitiesof all people.we would have a more productive society. it You may know intellectuallythat you have ADD. trying to figure out who you'll be rt3 ..doesthis mean that disabilityis your only dimensionl *h-to Absolutelynot! Your differences -onlyone part of you. however.. we of never knowing it wasthere.competentor valuableasother people.?Disorder.. What a scaryplace to be-in adulthood.l Tunr.. As you learn to help yourself. The tricky thing for ADD adults is that maLy oj us grgw up never knowing we had a disability.ADD is inseparablefrom who we are because forgedour senses self arotrndit..l HnvEADD-\fHnr Do I Do Now? If you'restill reading.s we are all peoplefirst. Now that you know you have ADD..

unableto figure out how they could so easilymanagethe things I sweated regroupand rethink your progress sincerecoveryis an ongoingprocess. \What to feel like impostors a reliefl '20's. Your newly acquiredself-knowledge may be scarybut it's alsoliberating. Similarly. r1.You may alreadyhave moved Let'stake a look at how the process It through someof the stages. however. bargainof ing and depression. never hurts. beginswith \fhen a loved one dieswe can't move on with our lives until we have grievedand moved through the stages shock.You MpnNI'v Nor Lnzv. when we lose a part of our psychological including an alterationin our self-concept. I alwaysstruggledwith comparingmytheme was that I self to other people. anger.denial. I assumed to that I wastoo self-indulgent acceptthe challenges. It offersa wonderful opportunity to take control of your life by looking squarelyat your limits and growing beyondthem. must grievethe we selves lost sense self beforewe can work on building a new one. works. Since I couldn't go to collegeand do much of anything elseat the sametime.I didn't know that it wasjust easier other people. I wonderedif they had somesecretto a which I wasn'tprivy or if they managed accomplish lot at the exto penseof their families. We don't have in fear of being found out.4 .Sruprnon Cnnzv?! when you grow up. You may of not have thought of your ADD in this way. It requires working through a process self-acceptance of grieving. Grief-The Shock of Recognition The diagnosisis often both a punch in the stomachand a vindication 'We of yearsof struggleand feelingsof in constant KK: "When I went through psychotherapy my felt different. This requirescourage that and time.but: Qrieving has to be the beginning of your self-discaeery. I assumed that being a studentmeant giving up everything for outsideschool. knew something waswrong and now we have the test resultsto prove it.

struggles My camefrom deficitsover which I had no control.It meant that I could look at my life through different colored lenses..I beganto marvel at all I had managed do in spite of a sigto nificant disability. I was 14 yearsold and into driving my parenrs crazy with my adolescent stuff. of It wasa relief to know. And he had to die! I knew that it shouldhave beenme. To this day.l HnvEADD-'ilUunr I Do Now? Do \7hen I wasdiagnosed with ADD. at leastin my intellectualself. It wasan incredibleburden. lazy. The peoplein my life didn't parenrsdon't know how I agonized over screwingthis one up by not being rhe one who died.The only personwho knew I wasa failure wasme. The diagnosis alone didn't undo yearsof silent pain bur gaveme a reality I could useto work on readjustingmy self-image..rp to that point. The mid-life crisisI had beenworking on resolveditself when I sheda positive light on the life I had lived ." the for PR: "l alwaysstruggled silently with my deficits. wasnothing as it comparedto the boost of my changing view of myselfas a heroically struggling adult. Accompanying the relief wasthe hope that I could be fixed now that I finally understood basis my problems. Rogerhit a tree when he wassledding and died the next moming. could stop filtering my acI complishmentsthrough the expectationsI basedon comparisons to others. He wasso perfect. 115 .that my feelings had a basis.. of Having ADD meanr that I wasn'tbad. Leaming at 39 that I had ADD didn't miraculouslyfree me from my impairedsense seli but it offereda peaceI had never known before. No one ever knew how I felt. I wasso imperfect.. He wasonly 10 yearsold and indisputably the perfect child in my family.unmotivatedor stubborn. the relief wasenormous-l was finally able to make sense my struggles.I KNow. I destroyed myselfwith inrense feelingsof inadequacy. Perhapsthe worst period in my life waswhen my little brother died.l THrNr. Although I had gainedpositiveself-esteem a resultof psychotherapy. I beganto feel lessapologeticfor my shortcomingsand more deserving of help and understanding.Neither my grades in school nor any of my relationshipsever sufferedoutwardly.

It's not that sherejectsthe reality of her disorder. still feel that if only our parents we had loved and respected enough." Grief: Anger-"Why Me?" The initial smgeof relief and euphoriaoften givesway ro a period of anger. \7e often begin to feel helpless and victimized.But somehow. Grief: Denial-Not Me! Remember Donna?She struggles with her inability to move beyond the intellectunl knowledgeof her ADD to the emotionel knowledge. Denial can take several forms. dfficultieson depression.The diagnosisthat freesus from faulty assumptions beginsto feel like an unbearable burden. us They should have known our problemswere real. We are imperfect and it just isn't fair! "Why me?Why did I haueto be born thisway?" "Why did everyone-parents.they would have figuredit out.\7e might.announceto rt6 . of motiuation poorcharacter?" lack or "WhJ didn't somebody believe me?" in "WhJ did ewerybody &ssLlme worst-that I just wasn'ttrying the hardenough?" "Why was I misunderstood reprimanded and whenI was uying my lteartout?" "Why did all those pretendto know more mentalheahhprofessionals " tlwn theyreallydid? 'We may feel furious at the people in our lives who failed to recognize 'We our deficits. She simply deniesits impact on her life. asDonna does. His death just happenedand I finally believethat it's okay that it wasn't me instead. of we might decideto reject the diagnosis. Factsdon't lie.You MEaNI'v Nor Lnzy. Neither of us had more value than the other. wonderingwhy we ever wasted our money on the evaluation.Sruprpon Cnnzy?! I wish my brother hadn't died but I've been ableto alter my perspectives of his life and mine. teacherstherapists-blamemy . understandthat no one knew much about ADD ten or twenty yearsago.After an initial sense anger.

I KNow. \7e might pick up our prescriptionfor Ritalin but never useit..l Hnvr ADD-!7unr Do I Do Now? friends that we have ADD but then not seektreatment. \7e might take the medication with the mistakenbelief that we have found the cure for our problems..atisn'tthe person usedto be. I andl'm not readyto figne out who it reallyis." / ' z ..' . Regardless the brand of denial we chooseduring this stage. . / ..l TurNx. aren't of we dealingyet with the reality of our ADD./'. this At early stagein the process recovery we don't recognize facereof the flecting back to us in the mirror: "Th.We move into this new phaseof our lives with rosy fantasies how with the help of our local pharmacyr can conquer of we the world. We needtime to process our new knowledgeand confront ourselves with our weaknesses.

positivechanges.\Ue'vespentour angerrailing about the injusticeand have taken a steptowardsdealingwith our symptoms.The deal goes somethinglike this: "lf I'm really good. It doesn'tmakeus normal even though we promisedto do everythingright if only the Ritalin would fix us. 'We promiseourselves work diligently at pursuingthe right doseof to medication. we aren't But fixed. Sights and soundsthat had previouslydrifted by our conscious awareness are noticed for the first time. may not have We 118 . adults.But that'soften is to what happensat somepoint in our grief process. This strategyworks for a while until awareness growsthat maybethis isn't the answerto our problems. whole world A opensup asthe medication helps us emergefrom lifelong fogt. We begin to notice the drug'suneven symptomcontrol over the courseof the day and our decreased functioning when the drug is at a low'll give me back what I've lost.We still aren't ready to accept that we'll struggle with ADD for the rest of our lives.we bargainwith God or fate of to forestallfacing the inescapable fact of our disorder.When we find it. \7e are better organized and focused.You MrnN I'u Nor Lnzy.we resent As having to relive the identity crisisof adolescence.Our improvedability to pay attention makesus increasinglyawareof our mistakes. Reality Sinks In-Depression Our diagnosis supposed free. Our diagnosis vindicatesus from the invalid assumptions peoplehave madeabout us. \7e grudginglyacknowledgethat our medicinehasn't curedthem. \7e feel energized with a new sense purposeand feel calmer and happier.Sruproon Cnnzy?! Bargaining-It Can All Be Fixed As we begin to makesense everything." For many ADD adults the bargainingis around medication that often bringsat leastinitially dramatic.not imprisonus.We'll be able to take responsibility our behaviors for and be like everybody else. we know that our symptoms will go away. of This new tool is a greatbargainingchip. Our bargainingdoesn'twork but we'restill not readyto own our disorder.

I relived eachpainful and 119 .. At this point depression often setsin. When I realized the root of many of my problems. I put a lot so of energyinto carefullynurturing her self-esteem shewouldn't have that ADD wasat to go through what I did asa child. For someADD adultsit retums periodically.l beendoing greatbeforebut at leastwe thought we knew who we were.. agonizedover Tyrell'sfate and my own.I wasfrightened for my daughter. ?c set KK: "When depression in.I beganto think that shewasdoomedasI was. threateningto undermineprogress.l TutNx. Tyrell wasmy bright hope for the future.If I this problemwasinherited and biological.there wasno escape.Hnvr ADD-Wunr Do I Do Now? I KNow. In my stateof gloom.. I mixed us up in my mind during that time. I ruminatedabout all the things I couldn't do and all the times I had failed.. it wascompoundedby the growing certainty that my daughteralsohad ADD.

My diagnosisbrought this reasoningro a crashinghalt. I laughat it now but just hearing the word "memory"would bring tearsto my eyesbecause reminded it me of my deficits. plishmentsceased exisr.mentally checkingoff all the things he would never be able to do. I had often lived under a cloud of helplessness hopelessness.I vividly recall the moment two yearsearlierwhen my fantasies about R.I sat in the psychologist's office. This stagewasmarked by extremefragility.Sruproon Cnazy?l humiliating experience from my wasreplaced with an assortmenr conflicring feelof ings. I alreadyknew that my rhen 8 year old son would never be okay. I Remember brother Roger? my \7ell. This time it wasmine. and The discovery my ADD.there wasno vagueness about my feelingsof gloom. I sat in church every Sundaytrying to hide the tears streaming down my face. I constantly burst into tearsand innocent remarksset me off.frighteningfeelingof deia vu. I had given my son his name and I had an intense.broughrmy negativefeelingscrashing of down aroundme.You MraN I'v Nor Lazy.In the months that followed. felt gut-wrenchingrerror for both my children.Depression one of them." PR: "The relief I felt after my diagnosis wasshort-lived. ro both the realisticand the unrealisticones. however. however. My feelings n0 . It wasa placeI had frequentlyvisited was during my life.There wasrhe triple whammyof feeling to helpless a parent. Jeremyabruptlyended.My positiveattributesand accom. I had previouslybeen able to pull myselfout of my black fogsby reasoning that things really weren'rthat bad.generallyincompetentand without hope for tle as future. This rime. had previously set I resolved issues my aroundJeremy's deficitsand had accepted imperfections. I saidgood-bye many of my dreams. Four months pregnantwith a babygirl conceivedafter several yearsof infertility treatments. here his But it wasagain-that damnedADD.'What awful cursehad I visited on my son?\7ould he alsocome ro someterrible end? Depression in with a vengeance. Things really were that bad! I would never be okay.

" Out of the Depths-ACCEPTANCE! you If you keepworking on the grief process.I acceptmy son and 'We're myselfaswe are. And so do we.After watching she it a while.Her feardisappeared..l Hevr ADD-WHaI Do I Do Now? and fearsabout both my son and myselfconverged into somepretty thoughts. Visualize whereyou'regoing-to a placewhere you will discoverand learn to useyour valuablegifts. \Uhen the going getsrough. I It wasn'teasyto move beyondmy depression.l THrNr. open spaces! figuredthat with my I family of four. my son and I. The stages you will go through are often difbetter ficult and painful but they're essential.It's there. With and of out of my deep. with 2 to go.. I climbed night.\Uhen it finally ended there was the an incredibly beautiful double rainbow stretchingacross sky.Alison wasdumbstruckbecause had never seena rainbow. I was2 down. PR: "One day last summera terrible thunderstormrocked our house and terrified my 4 yearold daughter. all we've got.I did it twice and if I had to. It's within my grasp.. she announcedthat shehoped we'd have another bad storm replaced soonso shecould seeanotherrainbow.I decidedI didn't like it in there-it wastoo dark and I'm into bright.I know that my joumey will be an uphill that strugglebut the rewardsare worth *y efforts. I u . didn't happenoverIt persistence a sense humor. with her child'soptimism." KK: "l don't remember exactlywhen the depression beganto lift. so we'd better make the most of limitless our lives.Those complexand beautifulrainbowssymbolized possibilities. I could do it again.Just when I wasgetting a handle on his self-destructive problems. But I did hole again.It may be a cliche but my joumey through my own personalstorm has taught me to believe in the gold at the end of rainbow.. wasfacedwith the reality of my own.I KNow. It's real. don't get discouraged. will come to a new and place in your life. I've thought often about that storm sinceAlison comfortedherself with the wonderof the resultantrainbows. probably alwayshave more stormsthan rainbowsbut I know that I'11 goeswith the territory.

I decided to usemy risk-takingability to embarkon a new venrure.I decidedro write this book and askedP. I reasoned that if I could make it without any help during my childhood. I wasalreadyusing my peopleskills in my teaching and nursing but realizedthat many of the routine detailsof my work werepainfully difficult for me.ggy to join me in this venrure.althSughit wasn'treadilyapparentwhat it would be! I had been intenselyinterestedin ADD sincemy diagnosis and wanted to specialize it in someway. I wasa valuablepersonwith a disability. !7hen the answercame.I concentratedon understanding rhem without being consumedbv them. I wasfinally free to take chargeof my life and realisticallyassess ir. I wassurethat I would of eventually find what I waslooking for.It became clear that I had a gift for writing and an ability to understand and connectwith people.The project had my name on itl I knew there were millions of peoplesffugglingwith ADD and that there waslimited help availablefor them. With my newfound sense inner strength.I just didn't know what direction to in take. The months that followed were exciting and productive as I evaluated variouscareeroptions.Th"y took their rightful placeasone dimensionof a multi-dimensional person. This book would be the perfect work choice for me. I would call it Airheals Anonymous.I joked about starring a new kind of AA group for people like me. optimally usingmy interests of and talents. Tyretl could do even better with support.YouMEeu Nor Lezy.everythingfell in to place. ergyhiding my deficits. Coming to terms with my ADD meanr spendingfar lesstime and en. r72 . I wrestled with the issue securityvs. I'v Srupro Cnnzy?! on know one sign of my emergence from gloom and doom wasregaining the abiliry to laugh at myself. I liked the flexibility of teaching and enjoyedmenroring students but sensed that perhaps this wasn'tquite the right niche. I had deficits but they no longer defined who I was.I beganto feel more confident about my parenting skills and becamelessanxiousabout my daughter's future. Understanding that I wasn'tto blamefor the way I was.relievedme of the guilt I had lived with for so long.

17. 24 Rwt your handsalongthe spineof thoseprecious hows in andfeel the suength the sinewutd bone. It appeared and is an empoweringaffirmation in the Commwtity Timesnewspaper availableto you with hard work and a deepcomof the possibilities mitment to yourself.l THrNr. 'We focuswill be on what you can do rather than what you can't do. another Why wasteit on self-pity.I KNow. a perfectjob! Life still has its upsand downsbut I feel that I'm living it more fully now than I ever could have beforethis journey. Life is raw material.." my In the remaining chaptersof this book.We shareyour pain and your hope because are strugwe gling alongside you. Eachday that we awakeis a new start.slothand selfishnessl of RoIIthnt dny arowrd on yo1.We are artisans.Maryland. however. groundin educationand mental health and my peopleand writing What skills to work at somethingin which I wasintenselyinterested. I can now or celebrate gifts.. As you continue on your personaljourney of recovery. into Vle can sculptour enstence somethingbeautiful. want to help you discoveryour hidden strengthsand talents and celebrate the personyou are. Breathe deeplyof the you formulate the questionsyou need to ask asyou take responsibilityfor your recovery. it or debase into ugliness.. '!7e We don't presumeto have all the answers.l HavpADD-Wunr Do I Do Now? I had impeccable credentials-who could know ADD better than variedbacksomeone who lived with it? I could usemy experiences.3 . clwnce. savorthefragranceof opportunity.relishthe taste itsfreedom.Insteadof hiding my weaknesses working at things that are wrong for me.considerthe following quote by Cathy Better of Reistertown.4r tongue. can. It's in our hands. we will offer a frameworkyou The can useto maximizeyour abilitiesand minimizeyour disabilities.

theTwelve High and Steps Alcoholics of Anonymous Dia we get your attention?Are you wondering about the connecrion betweenbalance.rr- Cnapren 7 About Balance. crepancy-that it's easierto acceptthe balanceyour bank says you have? "The ADDer's Precarious High Wire Act" r74 . ADD and recovery? lfell.high wire there is a connection and it's an important place to start learning how to effectively manageyour ADD.AA.This doesn'rhappen nearly often enough. Balancemay be somethingyou only think about at the end of the month when your bank shtement comes.How many times do you decidethat it isn't worth trying to figureout rhe dis. Toyofasl Porsches Circus Wires. One of life'slittle joys is a balancedcheckbook.

We ADDers often balk at the structurewe desperately need. The delicatebalancebetween achievement and other. achievingbalancein our lives is critical and considerably more difficult to achievethan balancein our checkbooks.On the other hand. It beginsthe recoveryprocess because its awfulness forcesthe personto make somechanges. it's often the startingpoint for a new and better life.ToyorAS. each that of us definesindividually. PoRscurs.A tendencyto becomeeasilyover-stimulated meansthat chaotic lifestyles can get us into trouble. creativeand impulsiveADD adult who is often driven to get involved in more than shecan handle.r-vn Sreps Or AlcoHolrcs ANoNyl. The paradoxis of an enthusiastic.Aeour BaI-nNcE. Falling apartcan be the equivalentof an alcoholichitting "rock bottom". Unlike peoplewho react to this pressure with mild stress symptoms.Sincehaving ADD means that her basicnature is at war with itsell her life can indeedbe a High Wire Act! Achievement and Less Tangible Goals: There are many waysfor an ADDer to losethe balancein her life.Let'sfind out how balanceissues have an impact on the lives of ADD adults. n5 . What is It's balance? a is a string of DUI's. lesstangiblegoalsis a critical balancingact. rock bottom is getting a DUI citation. Careers up family time and escaeat lating demands createpressure cookerenvironments. many of us alsoneed a properbalanceof structureand freedom. For somealcoholics. Structure and Freedom: To keep ourselves from falling off our high wire. As awful asrock bottom may seem at the time for an alcoholic or an ADDer. unemploymentand hitting skid row. Thesedaysit seems that many feople feel they live on fast-moving treadmillsthat lack off switches. CtRcus HrcH \7rRrs.rous As ADDers. a divorce. For others. Warning-It's Very Easy for an ADDer to Lose Her Balance! ADD folk have nervoussystems that are erratic and poorly regulated.similarto freedomor success. ADDers can fall apartcompletely. ANn THe Twr. coursethis is often a first. Rapid thoughtsand an excitablenature are at oddswith a central nervoussystem that can't handle too much input. lives routinizedinto dullnessby too much regimentationdon't provide sufficientchallenge. essenOf tial steptowardrecovery.

The following list outlinessomeof thesebalanceissues that can cause you to loseyour footing on the high wire: Work and challenges? Hyperactivity vs.SruproOn Cnnzy?! know that an ADD child needsextemally imposedstructurero thrive.g. Her moodsswing up and down and her performanceis erratic. Play Do you tend to get over-involved in one or the other and have trouble shifting gears ? Your Needs vs.Adults are expectedto managetheir own lives. noise. Detailed vs. you have troublekeeping do track of details? Depression vs.or do you tend to focuson the gestaltor whole picture?If you focuson big picrures. Euphoria Are your moodsout of balancewith too much sadness excessive or happiness? you swingbetweentheserwo extremes? Do '!7e rz6 .The challengeis to establish balancethat offersorderwitha out stifling creativity. Others' Are you obliviousto the feelingsand points of view of othersor do you always put yourselfdeadlast? Over of many ADD adulm'bestattributes. alternatingbetweenboutsof workaholismand sluggish inactivity. Activity Levels. Hypoactivity Are you so active that you drive others crazy do you vegetate or most of the time?This includessleepand restpattemsaswell as daily activity levels. \7hen shebecomes adult. An ADDer tends ro excesses. Ways of ThinH.You MrnN I'v Nor Lnzy. shecontinuesto need limits but an has to provide them for herself. LJnderstimulation !: What is your optimal level of srress. Global Thinkittg Do you get caughtup in too much detail unableto seethe forest for the trees. Emotions and Needs: ADD brainsand nervoussystems often out of balancewith behavior are swingingrapidly from one extreme to rhe other.

cause for \Uhat's the connectionwe mentionedbetweenbalance. Ctncus HtcH'WtnEs. 2 One of the bestwaysyou can do this is to work on achievingbalance in your life. With limitations they can't ignore. She is spirited.dynamic.It subjects system lesswearand'll have to make on-goingadjustments. or disabilityhave beendevaluedbecause they don't "measureup". This philosophizing isn't just the wanderingof creativeminds but relatesdirectly to achievingbalancedlives.You have a unique opporruyour success nity to redesign model and get off the ctazy treadmill everyoneelseis on. Having a well-balanced lifestyleis akin to taking good careof your car.ADDers who recovermay well lead the rest of societyto a sanerway of life. has to take especially good careof of she herself. this Toyotahas a more "even temperament. ToyorAS. you may find yourself regularlyswingingerraticallyfrom one extremeto the other. ANo TnE TwEr-vp SrEps Op Ar-coHot-rcs ANoNvvrous The Value of Examining Balance Issues It's easyfor your balancein eachof theseareas becomeskewedin to either direction at differenttimes. Ponscues. reliability and It for fuel efficiency.Altemately. ADD adult is designed In the like a Porsche.powerful." is designed comfort. Societyno longervalueschildren or the agedas it previously did. Competenceand levelsof achievement have becomethe societalstandard that measures pera son'sworth and success life.Tovotasand Porsches? somerespects.If you want to keepyour whole system in working order. The point of examiningeachof theseareas that imbalancein any of them can is problems your mental health or family life. r27 .To usethe the to Thosewho are "unproductive"due to in age.Her non-ADD peersare more like the family Toyota.If the ADD adult is to maintain and maximizethe high performance her Porsche.working on balanceis similar to continually tinkering with and tuning up your car. A shockingnumberof children sink into poverty while stressed caregivers abuse many seniorcitizens.exciting and readyto go with the rapid acceleration an expensive of sportscar.Aeour BalnNcE.Equallywell engineered.

in The Twelve Steps of A.the programis a systematic plan for acknowledging limitations to oneselfand others. for How.Now let'sconsiderthe last part of this chapter's titleAlcoholics Anonymous-as we move from generalconceptsro practical applications achievingbalancein your life. to other human beingsthe and exact nature of our wrongs.To's of Achieving Balance To help you get started.You MreN I'v Nor Lazy.Working progranmeansmaking the a commitment to follow rhe sreps daily life. 5.SruproOn Cnazy?! If you pay attention to the messages your body and soul.we're going to borrow the invaluableframework of the Twelqte Sreps '\boholics Anonymous. Admitted to God. Humbly askedHim to removeour shortcomings.'ll realize of that you can't be all or do it all. 7. to You can be at peacewith yourselfand your environmentwhile the rest of the world skyrockets out of control. If you work at your recovery.A. Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.A variety of suppoftgroups have adoptedthis frameworkwhich is a soundprogramfor crearinga balancedlife. 'We've alreadytalked about the connectionbetweenbalance. Briefly. 6.Came to believethat a Powergrearerthan ourselves could restoreus to sanity.'Wereentirely readyto have God removeall thesedefects of character.'a l. to ourselves.Made a decisionto tum our will and our lives over to the care of God aswe understood Him. 3.carsand high wire acts.'We admittedwe werepowerless over alcohol-thatbur lives had becomeunmanageable. 4. you can useyour new self-knowledge designa life that really worksfor's possible substitute to virtually any chronic problemor disability. of Although this program specifically refersto alcohol and alcoholics. r28 .making amends otherswheneverpossible to and coming to a greaterself-acceptance.

Soughtthrough prayerand meditation to improveour conscious contact with God aswe understood Him. can Spiritual awareness isn't specificto organized religion. The higher power could be the fellowshipof other alcoholics(or in our case. It's the glue that holds all the stepsof for the programtogetherso that peaceand self-acceptance be achieved.The SerenityPrayersumsup this philosophy: GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE. Having had a spiritualawakeningasthe resultof theseSteps. ANn TUE TwElvr SrEpsOp Ar-coHolrcs ANoNyvous 8. Closelyrelatedto spiritualawareness integralto the programis and the issue morality and wrongdoing.Aeour BalaNcE. r29 . Made direct amendsto suchpeoplewhereverpossible. Typically the alcoholismhas caused havoc in the lives of her friendsand family and shemust assume responsibility for her actions. 12. except when to do so would injure them or others.This includesmaking amends eachof the people to shehasdirectlv hurt.and became we willing to make amendsto them all.other ADDers) or the whole of mankind. 10. The Twelqte Steps "God as we und"erstnndhim'i carefully talk about leaving the specificsto the individual. we tried to carry this message alcoholics. Ponscups.this issue a of is critical part of her recovery. ToyorAS. The idea is to focuson something greaterthan ourselves and realizethat we c&n'tgo it totallyalone. I 1. AND THE \TISDOM TO KNO\y THE DIFFERENCE.For the alcoholic. Using The TWelve Steps for Your Personal Recovery from ADD The stepsareframedarounda central conceptof spiritualawareness that has relevance ADDers. 9. Continued to take personalinventory and when we were wrong.Clncus HrcH'WIRES. TO CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN. praying only for knowledgeof His will for us and the power to carry that out. to and to practice theseprinciplesin all our affairs. The word "God" can be replaced with a more generalized"higher power" that has meaningfor each individual.promptly admitted it. Made a list of all persons had harmed.

If you have begunyour process grief.It meansthat you acknowledge for the reality of your imperfectself.however. Rather than noting the condition and value of possessions. for This stepinstructsthe individual to take amoral inventory.Confronting your powerli:ssness includes an admission that you can't do it all-you arehuman and have unique limitations. abilitiesand your may alreadybe of confronting and working at acceptingyour limitations.This should be similar to the one you developfor your homeowner's renter's or insurance. Your inventory is central to your recovery.Insteadit should be to identify.For instance. you shouldexamineand list your assets.if you've of learnedto usesomemaladaptive coping mechanisms that have hurt other people. Since your ADD can't be cured.has a direct implication for you asan adult with ADD. It meansthat you are powerless over your ADD in that it isn't anyone's fault and can't be cured. Applying thesestepsin your own life meansthat you need to stop blaming your parents. Evaluating Balance Issues in Your Life We talked earlier in this chapter about general balance issuesthat can be important for you as an ADD adult. A failure to confront your limitations can result in damaged emotional and spiritualhealth and a diminishedsense self. Now it's time for you to think about the balance in your own life. The following is a list of questions 130 .SruprnOn Cnezv?! Theseissues aren't relevantto your recoveryfrom ADD exceptasthey relateto thoseaspects selfyou can change. or or shouldtake responsibihty your behaviors for and make appropriate amends. children and yourselffor the problemscaused by your ADD. accept and manage them.your goalshouldn'tbe to eliminate your deficits.spouse. The issueof powerlessness detailed in the first three steps. This doesn'tmean that you absolve yourselffrom all responsibility your behavior. of we'll offer somesuggestions abouthow to compile this important inventory.You MraN I'v Nor Lazy. The fourth principle alsohas significance you asan ADD adult.Later in this discussion.

lou're likely to find yourselfdrifting in directionsthat aren't particularlyhelpful.You have ro carefullydesignit. Since you'redistractibleand have an elasticsense time. spiritual renewal.ut"". you can't expectto let balancetake care of of itself. \7hat must you do to renewyourselfspiritually. You can ger immersed work and forget in that you have a family or allow your socializingar work to interfeie with the quality of your performance.\s. What obligationsmusryou fulfilll 9."A balancedlife must include time for work. may be ableto answer \'ou them later. How much time shouldyou devoreto family and friends? 5. ANn Trrp Twgr-ve SrEnsOr AlcoHot-rcs ANoNyvous you can useto get started. How much sleepand restdo you need.Aeour BalRNcE. Toycrr. well-organized beco fraz. CtRcus HrcH'W'IRes. dual . \Yhat is your daily/weekly work capacity? 2. 1.recreationand rest. What things are cluttering your life and shouldbe eliminated? 10. What is your financial bottom line-how much income do you requireto maintain an acceptable standard living? of 4.dressing health carel or Is Your Life in Balance? You probablyknow that "a11 work and no play makes Johnny a dull boy. the pressures suchthat even calm. How much time do you spenddaily on self-mainrenance: grooming. How much and what kind of recreational activitiesare critical for your well-being? 7.including "down time" when there are no demands placedon you1 3.. Th9 jugglingact is dauntingfor you asan ADD adult.In today's fast track.u may never have really thought about someof them and may not be irbleto answer of them right now. If you just go with the flow. PonscHrs. society. relarionships. How long can you work efficientlywithout a break? 8. But all keepthgm in mind throughoutthe discussion this chapter.not just in the sense religion but regarding of anything rhar givesyour life ' meaning? 6. 131 .\-.If you try in someof the thingswe suggesr. are folk me zledasthey arremprto find time for everything.

very careful. 'We can almostguarantee that after the first week. Othersbecome initable or start tuning'll decidethat your schedule unworkable!You will probablyfind that everything is you neededto do didn't fit into your time frames. SruproOn Cnnzv?l Conduct Your Own One Rat Study To answerthe questions posedabout the balancein your life. Rate the difficulty on a scaleof one ro ren. By keeping track of stress symproms and altering the number of hours you work.It shouldinclude a daily log that tracksyour activitiesfor several weeks.You MrnN I'rr. If you have trouble deciding how to rate something. As you pencil in time estimates your schedule. you were frazzledbythe end of the week. In similar fashion.Referto your diary on be to find out how long it took to completevarioustasksand factor in extra time. Write down everythingyou do and how much time it takes.r Nor Ltzv. pay attention ro stress indicators. \ilAat is your pattem of sffess indicators? \7hen your diary is complete.Doesexercise seemto lower your stress level and improve the quality of your work?What about the time you spendwith your family? Make a Personal Schedule It's time to developa tentative weeklyschedule that includesan estimateof the time it takesto do eachactivity. r37 . we you'll need to conduct your own research experiment. Did your stress indicatorsincrease after a certain length of time on a task?If so. Doubling your esrimate everythingexceprsleepwill for give you a cushionfor unexpected eventsand the distractions that inevitably derail ADDers. !7hat happens when you facetoo many demands? Somepeople react to stress with muscletensionor have discovered how long you can work without a breakor a shift to anotheracrivity.examineit for observable pattems. \7e bet that if you did manageto stayon schedule.Also keep track of the difficulty of eachtask or evenr. Don't neglect the other areas your life when you analyze of your diary. you can determinehow long you can work can begin to estimateyour overall daily and weeklywork capacity.

on After you'verecovered from the shockof recognizing impossibility doing it all. Severalexpressed that they couldn't think of anything positivebecause they wereso accustomed focusingon to their mistakes. AnalyziurrgPersonal Strengths and Weaknesses Although we wouldn't presume minimize the enormoustask of reto coveringfrom alcoholism. ANo Tue TwEr-vESreps Op AlcoHoI-rcs ANoNyvous Your life is out of balancebecause you'retrying to fit too much into it! This includesnot just the quantity of activitiesbut an accumulation of demands your capaciq for work and stress.You have the power ro take control of your life by looking squarely your limits. it becameapparentthat there wasindeeda wealth of talent amongus. PonscHEs. CiRcus HrcH'WrRr. If you have a similar problem.we suggest that you work first on enlarging your thinking aboutwhat constitutesan asset.we'll get back to the moral inventory we talked about earlier. you will free up energyand time for thoseyou do well. By limiting the activitiesthat stress your fragileskills.s. ToyorAS. It's time for you get busyon your moral inventory to help you better understand your strengths and weaknesses. What Can I Do Welll This first questionmay be the hardestto answer!Membersof our local adult supportgroupwere initially stumpedwhen they tried to describe someof their strongpoints. As an ADD somerespecrs might be easier it than recovering from ADD.After several months.Aeour BalnNcE. How do you get started figuring out what to cut outl In the next section. you'll the of need to reviewyour schedule with the goalsof slicing and dicing itl The demands your life needto match your capacityand abilities on and alsofit into the time you have available.This will be the placefor you to start. instance. your flawsare lessapparenr than thoseof the alcoholic's and may thereforebe somewhateasier ro deny and ignore. Over time.groupmembers gradually becamelesstentative about their strengths. at Acknowledging your limits offersan opportunity for you to grow far beyondthem. the following questions an outline Use as for this important For 133 .

Her calculationswerevery precise. becameapparenr it that Sarahwasa virtual geniusat living a balanced life. Sarahdeterminedthat travel time to her son'sschoolconferenceconstitutedwork and time spentat the support group wasleisure. motherhoodwasn'ran oprional role but sheknew that shecould makedecisions abouther other roles.You MEaNI'v Nor Lnzy. alsoasthe cost and value of energyand time.At the end of her study.She informed the group that she didn'r counr rhe time it took her to get dressed the moming-but if shehad to change in into her grass cutting clothes during the participant (we'll call her Sarah)wasinitially apologetic aboutnot working outsidethe home. She realized that shecould only manage part time job outsidethe a home but didn't wasteenergyfretting about the loweredfamily income.She growsmuch of the family'sfood in a backyard garden. Since shealready had two children. could be a valuableconsultantto manv harried. \7hen you make your list of things you do well.Sarah. Many of us with ADD measure personal worth by the yardstickof peoplewith more orderlyor ordinarylives and minds.swimsin a smallpool dug with family labor and barterswith friendsfor other goodsand services. As the sharingcontinued in subsequent meerings. Shb carefullyconsiders impact the of labor and money decisionson the family systemnot only asfinancial expenses. but The resultis a family that is truly in balance. go beyondthe obvious. Instead.sheturned her creativetalentsto devisingstrategies living for well on lessmoney. sffessed She families. extremely or is successful. She had conductedher own elaborate"one rat study" to determineher work capacity. She addedup all the mental and physicaltasksperformedin a typical week to arrive at a total numberof working hours.she counted it aswork! Sarahspentseveral weekstracking her signsof sffess shemanipulated as the numbersof hours she worked in a given week.SruproOn Cnezy?! someof our groupshared particulartalentsin their jobs.she concludedthat she could work no more than fifty hours a week without exceeding acceptable levelsof stress.I7e consider 134 .whoseparricular gifts aren't easyto measure defineby societalstandards.

the key was in Dad'soffice that wascloseduntil Monday morning.Remember. Aunt Mury would have spent a very uncomfortable weekendhad my brother not come to her rescue ! \ \ z \i_ .Ctncus HtcH V/tRrs.NcE. abilour ities are often more offbeat l KK: "My youngerbrotherhasADD and is a mechanicalgenius. ANo THp TwEr-vESrEpsOp AlcoHolrcs ANoNyvous ourselves successful we plav tennis or golf well. he got in mega-trouble because alwaystook things he apartand neglected pur them back together. \fhen he wasa kid.He did.rrmtasksefficiently. PonscHes. have careers if with a steadyupwardclimb and pert.Aeour Bala.ToltrrAs.He could figure out how ro open any kind that of lock. always calledon him when family members had locked their keys in the car. He wasa lifesaverwhen my dad who worked for Colt firearmsaccidentally locked my Aunt Mary in a pair of police handcuffsone Friday night. however.have to a talent 'We wasvery useful. Unfortunately.

therapist.If you can manage. try srarringwith the things you like to do." \fhen you begin working on your own list. I realized that besides books. My list grewro include attributessuch asmy toleranceand acceptance others'faults of and my problem-solving skills. to you may find yourselffocusingon your talentswithout even realizing it.SruproOn Cnazy?! My brother would have madea grearburglarbut he might alsohave tumed his unusualtalent into somethingboth income-producing and legal! I don't know.qNI'u Nor Lnzy. Actually. however. iniI was tially hard-pressed figureout what I did well. Peopleoften called on me for help when they were in trouble or feeling unhappy. If your talent is playing the Star-Spangled Banneron your reerh. I wasalsogood at it. \fhat about the costumes you sewed your daughter's for schoolplay?Maybesomeof the seams ripped 136 . A string of failures to had left me wonderingif I had any abilitiesat all. Include asmany things asyou can.albeit untrained.I loved readingpeople and trying to undersrand them.If you can tie a knot in a cherry stemwith your tongue. don't hesitateto write it down. he becamea chef who happensto have many other untapped talents.I realized that not only did I like it. add this item to your inventory. Don't limit yourselfto standard or marketable skills suchasbeing a computerwhiz or a good dancer. I addedmy love of readingto my list. But somecreativethinking can lead to somesurprising uses seemingly for useless sffangetalents! and What Can I Do Adequatelyt Your downhill skiing talentsmay not exactlyqualifufor an Olympic gold medal. Since we often preferactivitiesthat comeeasiest us.You Mr. Theseabilitiesmight nor have any apparentvalue.Bingo! I realized that I wasan effective. I sidestepped the questionof my abilitiesby taking a look at what I liked to do. \fhen I was23 yearsold and doing my own self-assessment. Maybehe could have designed securirysystems. Identifying my talentsfollowed logicallyfrom this startingpoint.include it on your list. The first item on my list wasthat I liked to spendtime talking with my ger down the hill in one piece.

of nt.r the performance you did for but manageto get the twenty-fivc Ctrslpp"ssewedtogether.rver.i. Do you really have time to fit this in ro your schedule shouldyou pay or an accountantto do it? \7hat about thosethings that really aren'r your fort6?If you are experiencing failure when your effortsdon'r accomplishwhat you want them to. You may be a whiz in mathematics that doesn'i but necessarily mean that you shoulddo your income rax preparation. ANo Tue TwElvr Sl. of 137 . includeit aslong asyou don't play so poorly that you facehumiliation eachtime you stepon the remember Do Debrawho tries to hide her deficits doing everything? Not only doesshetry to do everything.. playingsoftballalways If resul$ in an agonizingly embarrassing experience. certainlydon't encourage you to focusexclusively your on deficits. What Can't (or Shouldn't) I Dol This final sectionof your inventory is extremelyimportant because it will help you makedecisions about the things you shouldsimply srop -by doing. PonscHrs. No one can be wonderFul everything.T. If cooking is fairly routine and unexciting but edible. CtRcus Htcrr 'WtREs. perhaps your only failure is in trying to do someof thesethings at all. well.. Theseactivitiesshouldbe addedro your Can'tlshouldn'tDo list.Aeour BaleNcE. at Many ADDers try so hard to be normalthat they are unrealisticabout the_ir capabilities. don't do it-even if your three closest friends pressure into joining them for this grearpasrime.\s. Toyt. As you examineyour assets liabilities.But through the process examiningand identifying rhem. you Bland. If you area mediocre tennispl. Even_if you aren't trying to do it all. you shouldincluJc eachthing you can do reasotwbly Theseactivitiesmay not L'e\'t'rur tavoritethings to do and they may not be a showcase your tale hut at leastyou can get by with belongsin Y-our this category. rarher tasteless mealsare acceptable if you repeatedly but burn down major sections your kitchen. fh" point is. continuatlyfeelsstressed she and inadequate due to her unrealisticexpectations.shetries to do everythingbrilliantlyl Of course. you areprobablytrying to do things you shouldn'tdo. it's time to reevaluate of your cooking. Or honestabout your weakand 'S7e>Hot-tcs ANoNyvous apart and had to be pinned rtrggl|-t.

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participatein a meetingor sharedinner with a friend. we need to remind you to periodicallyreview someof the old materialas you continue your reading. we're relating r47 . The term "interfacing" is usedto describe communication betweencomputers. Now that you know whereyou'reheadingin your reading. differences and defense going to examinethe impact of ADD specimechanisms. We've borrowedfrom computerterminologyin naming chapters eight through ten.!7e think the term capturesthe essence the of issues "getting along".let'sget busyexamining interfacingin action. you've addedit to your To Do list! In precedingchapterswe talked about the impact of ADD on other peoplewithin the context of specificsymptoms.we'll alsoconsiderrelatedissues.When we talk on the phone. Now we're fically within the context of relationships. Since we want to be effective teachers.\7e hope that at a minimum. In educationaljargon. for In instance. Chapter 9. we hope that you have at leastbeen thinking about it. were providing information that will be the basis \7e for everything that follows. the information in the first sevenchapters wasReadiness.Cuapren 8 lnterfacing Action: ln ln Groups Friendships and Tttit chapter marksa changein direction from the first part of this book. We all interact daily with other people. of Although much of the focusof thesethree chaptersis interfacing and communication.\7e will usethe moral inventory againso if you haven't completedit.we'll examine variousfactorsthat have an impact on an ADDer's ability to "relare"to his iob responsibilities.

Relationships would be a breeze Of course fall this werethe case. This capabilityhasbeen limited by communicationproblemsidentical to the onesencounteredby German who tries to speakto an Amer" because they speakdifferent languages. We interact with eachother by transmittingour thoughts.SruprpOn Cnezv?! whether brief.The success theseinteractions. else's can instantly sendthe report on our computerscreento someone through telephonecabling. don't have to \7e can assume more complexand difficult than simply talking! must be considerably if you alreadyknew that.In reality.You MreN I'rvr Nol Lxzv.feelings. one-timeencounters long-lasting communicationskills. Communication in the Computer World many different With the explodingtechnologyof the pastthirty years. ican.Volumeshave beenwritten about the art of effective focuson its importance Family and marriagetherapists commLlnication. computers '!7e wait for the US PostalServiceto deliver a letter two dayslater. and busindss \il/ith the arrival of modemsand netrapidly sendmail electronically. let's take a brief look at the dyof namicsof communicationasa startingplacefor our discussion interactionsand relationships. its simplestform. languageinvolvesspeaking and listening:I talk and you listen and you how lantalk and I listen. open. largelyon depends or relationships. on commr.we'll considercommunicationin the world of computers.doesn'tit? To understand guageis anything but simple. adequate Virtually everything we do asmembersof the human race is a form of communication.Lnicanon Based all the College courses teach posinue that it of attention given to issues communication. of with other people. have becomeavailableand arealmostindispensable kinds of computers for personal use.even the briefestof interactionscan So apart through a misunderstanding. They can't communicate greatstrides have been madein developing In the world of computers) lanof that bridgesthe capabilities dissimilarprogramming software \ 148 . and attempt to help people keep the linesof communication skills. In and desires through the medium of language. Soundssimple.

softwareMacFor instance)a Macintosh that usesthe word processing 'lTritet*. Long beforethe growingbabyacquires gestures facial expressions "talk". The Art and Science of Communication Although Mom and Dad often frantically try to figure out exactly what theirone second infant is alreadycommunicating. learn to pronouncewords correctly !7e and to usethem to communicateour needs. is often considerably more difficult to leam. Unlesswe have a speech of of us learn to talk fairly early in our lives. we still have to interwe face with each other because sharethe world ashuman beings. communicationcan be designed that includes a and interpretedin a variety of simply in worksby itself and doesits own thing. uses he squeals.It sends message of multiple elements form.usehardwareand programmedlanguages can usea unique to eachof them.and r49 .peoplecome in differentmodelswith individualized information Each of our brains processes ware and softwarepackages. but their word processing software "brains" (hardware)can recognize programonly if it written in their the "language". oLd the crying signifies. Similar to a painting.If an IBM lacksthe capabiliryof talking to a Macintosh. hasn'tbeenableto reada letter formattedin Microsoft\Uordt* are because programminglanguages different the hardSimilarly. color intensity and shading.. When differences programming makecommunicationbetweenpeopledifficult.subtlety. of softwarethat can't readthe language other differently and uses people. they may be unable have the samehardware. for example. We learn the science communication rather effortlessly. Macs and IBM's were unable to interfaceand communicatewith each other. The art of commuLnication rely on a mastery interactionswith the taxi driver or a spouse Successful of this art form. real language. Macintoshes and IBMs.INrEnrRcrNcIN AcrroN: IN GnsunANo FRtsNosutps guages. Even when two computers to communicatewith each other if they don't usethe samesoftware.Beforethe advent of specialsoftwareprogramsthat own of translatethe unfamiliar language one computerfor the other. Both computers package calledMicrosoftWordtM. to and problemor a specificlanguage most disability.

his deficits interferewith his ability to truly underHe stand the meaning of conversations. Others may graspthe precisemeaningof spokenwordsbut misunderDuring a visit to Australia. the additional clues For help rather than hinder our communication skills. has many elements. It has rhythm to and movement. of by PresidentGeorgeBushheld up his fingersin the "V" recognized Americans as the classicsymbolof victory. a conversation proper time to make an entrance.It includesa Similar to a ballet. stand the message non-verbal language. Unlessyou are an art aficionado. communication isn't a static art form.SruprnOn Cnazv?! detail. ADDers and non-ADDers alike differ in their ability to read the interplay of verbal and body language. allocation of time for a solo and rulesfor executinga graceful finale and exit. of body language 'We gestures facial expressions fill in the gaps to and can useobservable of wordswe would otherwisemisunderstand.\7e have to synchronizeourselves its flow and to know where. someof us. The Rhythm of Language Unlike a painting. Many of us could really usesomedancing lessons! Verbal and Nonverbal Communication In Communication is an interplay of wordsand body language. An adult with ADD can have real problemswith communication and relationshipsbecause rulesof the art form continually change.You MpnNI'u Nor Lezv. It has alsobeen suggested that men and women speakdifferent languages. an awareness what others are of may walk awayfrom an abstractpainting asconfusedasyou are after someconversations. to peoplefrom one country usewords incomprehensible foreigners.As the he tunesin and out. may communicatemessages he he never intended and misinterpret the messages receives. general. he learnedthat an Australian usesthe "V" to communicatethe same thing as an American holding up his middle finger! PresidentBush really should have taken a crashcoursein the Art of I'lonuerbalComrrundcation beforehe madehis historic blooper! 150 . Much to his chagrin. Peoplein the samecountry may speakdifferent dialectsdependingon the ethnic group or areathey come from. when and how much to contribute to a conversation.

And at the moment. ication." But what about the accompanying body language? You should leave: The speakeris relaxedand smiling. /rz\ \ I/'."You should leave" but your will vary accordingto your ability to usethe art of communresponse you might respond.t-l ) I Communication is fraught with the potential for misunderstanding. NO\f! 151 . He wants Torlout. If you rely only on the words themselves. He looka at his that it's time for your next class. He is enjoying the con' so versationbut is concemed that you'll be late. watch and realizes you SHOULD leave.I G G Q tl-.I probably should get going.INrERrRcrNcIN AcrtoN: IN GRoups ANo FRtpNosHtps '-'r\( \ n ' '/ ^^. You may know the meaning of the words.. movescloseto you and his face is You should leave: The speaker He expresslonless. he doesn'tcare much about leaving for his classeither. looks at his watch and says angrily that YOU should leave. He isn't at all concemed about your punctuality. "Yes.

excuse me!" Dlace line you just tookoqter: You: "Oh.His mouth is set and his lips barelymove ashe grabsar his watchbandand hisses that you should LEAVE. aml in yourway?" An ADDer may fail to say.rhey'reusuallyalking about rule-govemed speech and behavior. you'rewelcome!" You: womnn whose in "WeII.flinch or talk. not sayingthat ADDers have comered the market on bad manners. W"henpeopletalk aboutgood manners.SruproOn Cnazy?l You should leave: The speaker backsawayfrom you and his eyesare little more than slits.Let'sexaminejust two particularlydangerous hazards beforewe move on to issues variousrelationships our lives.Grandparents bragaboutlheir well.ever rhink of coming back! and \7e think you get the message. of in Hazard-Social Slippery Spots! Social Slippery Spot #l-Basic Manners: We would venture ro saythat most of us with ADD need to proceedvery cauriously this in 'We're area. he may behavein an unmannerlyfashion.gestures."Excuseme" when he jostlessomeone (omission)and interrupt and monopolize (commission).voice inflections. Good mannersrequireadequate communicationskills that include an ability to monitor behaviorind pay closearrenrionro detail. body postureand positioningall communicatesubtle (or not so subtle!) messages.making enorsof both omissionand commission: \ "I Teacher: will thankJou to keepthose opinions yourself to !" "Oh. He wantsyou ro IBaqte never.but haphazardly appliesthem.facial expressions. conversations He probablyknows the rules. Words. ADDer can repeatedly An facesocial slipperyspotsashe attemptsto negotiarearoundthe obstacles sucto cessful communication. manneredgrandchildand teachers admonishtheir studentsto show better manners. Since t52 .But societalconventionsof politeness can be hazards because of our particulardifferences. The message is that you've done enoughalready-he doesn'twant you to breathe.You MrnN I'v Nor Lazy. Since theseskills can be shakyin an ADDer.

I becomeso involved with sharing awaywith a one-sided that I forget the cardinal rule of effective my advice and experiences communication:LISTEN ING ! fall I have gorrenmuch better at this but sometimes into old habits.I can get carried conversation. . we developed on a styleohnq"ruction based behaviorthat camenaturally to us."'Whata space dreamythat he doesn'tseemto exist in the real may be so vagueand world. me! As ADDers sometimes if I'm not careful."Oh.Mealtimes were a free-for. cadet!"."Earthto Mark!"... shereplied.with everyonetalking at once and no one listening. He "ls anyonehome?".It wasa revelationto discover that mosrpeopletake tums talking and listening to eachother!" PR: "The ADD Council'shot-line coordinatorrecentlyshareda huwith a repeatcaller with me.his social of life can be hamperedby the generalfogginess ADD. I don't have enoughtime to talk with "Melissa". .all. Perhaps Council'sphone line coordina' tor shouldteach this trick to his talkative volunteer!" Even if an ADDer avoidsclearlyrude actionsand bad manners. Since by most of my family wasaffectedto somedegree ADD. He may be un' able to clear the cloudssufficientlyto really connect with other people. . He may be ridiculed for being out to lunchor rebukedfor caring only r53 . He had a conversation morousanecdote who usuallyspokewith one particular phone volunteer.When he that suggesred the caller speakwith the volunteershehad previously spokento.She'sbeen a greathelp but she'll talk so much and keepme on rhe phone so long that I'll forgetthe one questionI neededto ask!" I don't know who the phone volunteerwas. he needsto make a coneffort to learn and practicethe behaviorexpectedof adultsin scious our society.INrERpactNclN At:rtoN: IN Gnoups ANo FRtENosHtps theseskillsmay not comenaturally to him.but it could have been do. .I to put my hand over the mouth pieceof my phone to have sometimes the cue myselfto stop talking. KK: "'W'henI first lived awayfrom home. I rememberbeing shocked that the rest of the world didn't function the way my family did.Interruptingwasnormal behavior.

oo* when I'm o1 the phone. we'renot too crazy the but about the uncanny ability of a telephonero changeou. you will endurescathinglooks... yJu'[ .rdur" f".I-getnastylMy children w"t..-rly answerit. After the ryait.inating personreally be the samecharacterwho seemed roi"il on the telephone? What about the sparklingtelephoneconversationalist who becomes almostmute in face-to-fu. Th: telephonecan alsocause remarkable Perhaps you can identify with this phenomeno" 6f Telep.r..\7hen the the phone rings.hone-Tiansformation: PR: "l sufferfrom TTTS: family is in for the asia.i.' If my *. my husband usedto accuse of having a disease called Phone-a-'Phobia.You MraN I'vrNor Lezv..h in continual amazement their as relativelyeven-tempered mother transforms into a screamingmeanie! I have never understood powerthis inanimateobject wields.I instantlv go into a sranceof defenr. I elsewill answerthe incessanr ringing. after urr.He doesn'tmean to be rude or uncaringbut his failure to respondcan look like selfishness.i?rg that "Nobody better interrupt me during this call.SruprpOn Cnnzy?! abouthimself. o.*k" th" mistakeof making noiseor talking to me.hoping someone third or fourth ring.If you ..counters? a changein our dispositions.rlt the telephone-iyr". A phobia is a fear out of proportion to the actual threat in a situation r54 . me he He claimedI inherited it from my mother who hassimil".H""-" you ever met someonefor the first time after talking to him only --' by phone and been amazed the difference? by Can rnir Utight..J. social slippery spot #z-Tye lelephone: A greatdeal of daily communicationis conductedby telephone. not that we fail to appreciate convenience.rtl" of KK: "Beforeeither of us knew anything about ADD. ra.rro"] !f you are the unfortunate individual who walks into the .ro.f"r.p. Simply stated. ry*proms.Telephones a grear are invention but do to It's !h"y sometimes a terrible disseivice ADD"ers.rronalities! .Telephone Tyrant syndrome! A ringing telephonecan transformme into a mean.confrontationalp..orr.g goes unheeded. aitack. I relucta.

of Listening and making sense communication is hard enoughwork having to contend with outside interferences. SomeADDers do avoid using the telephone. may be peppered phrases such as"l. isn't a phobic reaction to inappropriateanxiety or fear-they have real problemswith telephonecommunication.1. without '-'-*' .INrERpRctNcIN AsrtoN: IN Gnoups ANo FnteNosHtps and peoplewith phobiasgenerallytry to avoid the situationsthey fear.however. ADDer can becomea telephone ryranr ashe fights to shut out noisesand interruptions. to for requests the speaker repeathimself with silences. An inability to filter out backgroundnoise alsocontributes to the An difficulty with telephoneconversations. the an The problem is sometimes inability to process meaningof words Telephoneconversations without the visual cluesof body language.The avoidance.Jh" and "um!" An ADDer may forget and charming to identify himseli leave out important information or abruptly end the conversation.-) { + )Y/ - 155 .

we encourage of you to keep."Phobia and TTTS: t Rehearse and write down what you're going to saybeforeyou make a call-your greeting.take the time to request quiet or switch to anotherphone.You'll fail miserablyand losesight of the plus sideof your moral inventory. telephone may never be yo.Telephoro one elec"r" consetrical devices. distraction-free place. Used in water.since we'readvocates the open bobk test. sayingyou'll have to switch phones..they can have f". you . call later."1.You MreN I'u Nor L..we'Il turn our attention to interfacingin groupand one-to-one encounters. noiseof the exhaustfan would block out distracrions. 156 .rsr. SruprnOn Cnazyl! 9yrvival Tips for the Telephone fh. o Keep your nores in front of you during the call jog to your memory.. and 1nirri-irirrg your weaknesses. the door or return the ". mor" serious quences than Phone-a-Phobia TTTSI and t If someone callsand catches you off guard.Then take a few minuresro compose yourselfand g"rh. you considertheseissues. If you have taken the call in a noisy areaof your house.remperaments. Don't attempt to becomelike folliwith .+zy.the major points-youwant to make and the way you'll politely end the conversarion. t Stick to your script to avoid the "wandering"conversation. Here are a ftLEl"phone strategies that may reduceyour pho.rr preferredmode of communication but there are somethings you can io to make it more user-frie"Jrv.One person we know had a phone jack installedin her bathroomso the ihi.briefly excuse yourself. With this-general frameworkof communication and interactions in place. As your guiding principle should be the theme of this book-maximizing your rt-r.yourinventory noteshandy ai you conrinue readingl WE'ff test you at the end of the book. . don'r forg_"! oery important detair. .rrgtli. any written information you might needfor the'conversation. t Make your phone calls in a quiet. Only kidding.r".tv If this.

let'sobserve Michael Michael is standingin a clusterof four peoplewho have been talking about a variety of topics.INreRrRcnc lN AcrloN: IN Gnoups ANn FRtgNosulps Relationships: A Play with Multiple Acts and a Cast of Many Characters If the world werefilled with fellow ADDers. brain is racingto movementto protect endangered to think of something say. munication stylethat disarms Act I: Interfacing in Groups \7e live. socialclubs.He hasn't addedmuch to the conversation he because doesn'tknow anything about the latest softwareor the His caterpillars.many who can't figure us out at all! If we're going to fit in.You may be judiciouslyusingyour disinhibition-saying or doing things other peoplecensor-to developa frank and open comothersand puts them at ease. you with this issue.the world is madeup of many different kinds of people. r57 . out how to communicate You may need to completelyreprogramyour mental computer to improve its interfacing capabilities. you are like many bright. many of us would probably with experience With our personal do just fine in our relationships.meetingsand 'SUe can't avoid theseinteractionseven if we wantedto. we have to figure with and relateto others. If committees. enterprisingADD adults. Of may facegroup as situationswith about asmuch enthusiasm you do a trip to the denTo tist! What can you do to prevent the socialsuicideyou fear? help somesocialsituationsin action. ADD. we would understandthe "quirks" of the ADDers around us. You may have a keen sense humor and of vivid imaginationthat attractspeopleand repairsthe damage a socialfaux pas.beforesomebodyaskshim somethinghe won't know how to answer. work and play in groups-families.You may have unique strengthsin to this areaand need only minor adjustments your program.You may in any weaknesses alreadybe using your identified strengthsto bypass of this areaof functioning.

I don't . Amanda "Do funeraldirecrors asks.Sincehe'sa builder with a specialtyin cusromrenovation.Her eyeslook glazed und h"." Someone elseoffersto drive her home in caseshe'sbeen drinking too much and needsto sleepit off. faceis expressionless.She asksof no one in particular.To her companion's comment about the benefitsof usingglass insteadof papeiproducrs. Elizabethis the onli p"rroi in the groupwho.l knew that. SruproOn Cnnzy?! He is preoccupied with planning his verbalentrancero rhe conversation and vaguelyhearsa commentabout recenractivitv in the Oqtal Office.""lly know. halfway through his story. . .that somerhing isn't quite right. . 158 . It suddenlyoccursto him. the woman *ho asks To her opiiion about this serious topic.You MEaNI'u Nor L. I just wantedto seeif you werepayingattention."Can you believehe just saidthat?" She quickly switches gears sheobserves as that her companion's looksjust like tie the one her Uncle Joeusedto wear.+zy. Amanda twists aroundto watch her friend Mlchael humiliate himself.isn't sayinganyrhing." Amanda Betweenburstsof sma[ talk with her two companions.hael about acting so stupid Elizabeth Elizabethis standingwith a largegroupnear the buffet table. recyclethe dearlydepartedloved one's clothingl The reasonI'm askingis that your tielooks exacrlylike the one Uncle Joewore at his funeral." she laughingly assures both men that she'sonly kidding and wonders if the_y've noriced how many peoplehave alreadyleft tie parry and if they have any suggestions aboutwhat sheshouldrav to Mi..White House. shereplieswith a yawn."Oh.he jumps in with his accountof an inreresring eagerly circularroom he once built.An animatedconversation about the plight of the homeless so engrossing is that everyoneignoresthe deliciousfood. He looksup to seefour facesetchedwith question marks!He graduallyrealizes enormiryof his blunderand slinks the awaywith a half-heartedchuckle: "Oval Ofrice.

ately.They didn't go on the mental journey with the ADDer and don't know wherehe'sbeen.. Remem.are you talking about?" to to The comment that makesperfect sense him is incomprehensible the rest of the group. "\fhat the H.If he'samongfriends.they'll probablyjust shrug it off. him on a wild..Rather than getting locked in and taking a time out.He has to concentrate enough to understandwhat the speakeris saying. His comment is greeted or repliesof. Creativethinking alsoplaysinto the mental athletics.Sucattention and shifting gears? group interfacing dependson an ability to shift gearsrapidly.Severallapslater he endshis little detour and with either raisedeyebrows shares sometidbit. has to follow the flow of talk as it bouncesfrom personto person. If he'swith strangers. filter intenselystimulating. ber our slow reactiontime?A breakcan give us time to deal with our 'We may be so intent on frantically lessthan trustworthy memories. Unfortunirrelevantcomments. an ADDer's mind may move taking a detour at the end of the track! A comment at breakneckspeed. rehearsingand rememberingwhat we're going to saythat we block out as everythingelse.Impairedattention and a defectivesensory Attention can jump from a can be pushedbeyondtheir capabilities. cessful The exchangeof a conversationis a challenging task for an ADDer He who can't make quick mental adjustments.\7e do mental handsprings fast aswe can. the Someof us take mental time outs to process conversation. they might wonder what planet he comesfrom! for Running Out of Gas: There are other reasons an ADDer's diffiThe atmosphere a groupcan be of cultieswith groupinteractions.he comesto a grinding halt while the generalconversationgoeson without him. t59 .we often end up interjectingseemingly 'We're talking about spring soccerwhen the conversationmoved on five minutesearlierto the winter Olympics.He alsohas to be surehe doesn'tget locked in. Otherwise.INrERrRcluc IN AcrtoN: IN Gnoups Arlo FRtENosHrps Notes: Act I the about dividing Mental Gymnastics: Do you remember discussion They are a kind of mental athletics. stimulates ideathat sends an during the conversation imaginativejourney.

\Uhere the should he focus-on the speaker's wordsor on the body language of the personstandingnexr to him? Bombarded with sightsand sounds from many differentdirections.You MraN I'v Nor Lnzy. an ADDer might either tune out or fall asleep. he quickly uses his reserves fuel.feelingasif you've just taken a sleeping or gone into a coma?'Sfe pill have.l '. to That's just greatfor your brain. k's asif the body staysin the samespot while the brain goesoff to a quiet corner somewhere rest and regroup. He mayrun out of mennlgas.Similar to a car climbing a long mounrain road.Simply put.his senses rapidly reachan uncomfortable level of overload.SruproOn Cnnzy?! companion'sperfumeto the crackling fire across room. i ll - l r ' t Have you everbeen in a stimulatinggroupsituation. You may not exactly endearyourselfto the speaker who is sharing fascinatinginformation. up of rI t A \ :N LI \ '. but what aboutyoul You end up standingthere with a blank look and a yawn. That's precisely 160 . It's not that the conversation boring-although it might be! It's that is the overstimulationof a groupsituationcauses mental fatigue.

a Is however.He fidgetstoo much. we may fill up physicaland emotional spacewith our presence and chatter. it possible.I mentally geared up for a difficult challengewhen I agreed start an ADD adult support to group. I figured my main function as the facilitator would be to referee.into other people. The Porscheis revvedand readyto go! Foot in mouth disease escalates out of control as the ADDer barrelsaround the track.INrsnrRcrNc AcrroN: IN GRoups IN Auo FRrENosurps what happenedto Elizabethwho attributesher poor socialskills to a lack of sleep. course.Are your problems in groupscausedby your deficits or by therulesfor interactionthat are ill suitedto your sryleof thinking? KK: "'!7ith professional experienceasa group leader. As Amanda does.I pictureda groupof peopletalking non-stop.Inappropriate. may of he careen. Impulsivity and disinhibition aresometimes atremptsto fend off mental fatigueand maintain alertness.Speed: Conversely. rude or silly remarksare out of our mouthsbefore we know it! How many times have you saidto yourself." Synopsis: Act I It might seemthat you process information too slowlywhen you'rein groupconversation.that you process the information ln greater depththan othersdo?Do you make connections that eludeeveryone elseand have real value?It might seemthat your mental detoursare inappropriatebut that doesn'tmean they're worthyour tangentsand wild leapsof imaginationcan lead the less.interruptingeach other and jumping from topic to topic.literally and figuratively. talks too fast and drives everyonecrazywith his intensity. Cruise Controls Set on Mega.The flow of ideasdoesjump arounda lot but this doesn'tseemto be an obstacle 161 . heedless anyone of who might be in his way."l can't believe I just saidthat.the mental cruise control may be flipped on and set way abovethe speedlimit. Perhaps groupto creativeproblem-solving. The people aroundhim altematelyview his behaviorasamusingor annoying. one elseknows that! Of no Many of us often talk and act first and think later. What has happenedis vastly different from what I imagined.With a poor sense boundaries. And here'ssomethinginterestingto think about.

make sure you'reprepared. interests. rehearse aheadof time.You MenNI'v Nor Lnzy. Start taking notes asa newspaper reporterwould. occupations. formulatedby the generalizations connections and of his distractions. able to keepup with the speedy are conversation. But groupmembers. Generally. tempo and patterns. will be in attendance. you can't always Of course. Part of this rehearsal r62 . Find out who will be there and write down their names. If you'relucky. Survival Tips for Act I Be Prepared: Beforeyou arrive at the socialgathering.his communicationwould flow more freely. productive tangents. Ask about the dress "code" so you won't arrive in jeansif everyoneelsewill be wearing suitsand ties. danceto your own beat just asyou can't always what your impulses do drive you to do. Make sureyou write down the date and time of the gathering!Arriving for a dinner party an hour late will definitely not win rave reviewsfrom your host. His logic. The danceof conversationin an ADD group seems move to music to entirely different from that of other groups." Perhaps the logic of a non-ADD thinker is a different brand from an ADDer's.It seems have its own to unique rhythm.SruproOn Cnazy?! to the groupprocess.Perhaps ADDers don't need we dancinglessons after all. etc. may in somewaysbe superiorto the logic taught in school. often left behind in "normal"'ll have to learn someof the conventional steps. get togetherand enjoy the danceyou share.the groupasa whole is able to follow the logic of the conversation and sometimes movesit off into wonderful.It makessense that if he could play by his own set of logical rules. Do Your Homework: If your mind and mouth inexplicably shut down in groupsettings. Here are somesurvivaltips that might help you on the dancefloor.somebody elsewho lovesradio controlled racecarsasmuch asyou do. We may just need to danceto our own ADD beat! If you have an ADD friend.Thetempo is much fasterthan I have encountered in other groups. Sinceyou can't avoid being in groupsof non-ADDers.

really.Is there anything new going on?" Practice: Rehearsing meansjust won't interject a comment about your son'sexperiences the primary grades your in of local school. at leastsuperficially. isn't it? I haven't seenthe paperthe pastfew days. might offer.If the subjecttums to the primaries. however vague. Generic commentscan bail you out if you have no idea what a media center specialist A rehearsed of is. Don?" Develop a standardscript for thesequestionsthat come up in groups." Youcomment: . list questions and commentscan also help with any problemsyou have with monopolizingconversations. Write a script.rosHrps should be keeping up.. When you arrive." "Oh.What happensnow?Rather than feeling uncomfortableand trying to fill the deadspacewith rambling. Don?" Someone aslcs: You stnrtJoLuscript:"I restore anaqtefurniune. Fred?" Fred replies:"I am a mediacenter specialist.It doesmean that you shouldknow that the changing ru.rcIear farrily isn't a topic about folk glowing in the dark with radiation poisoning! The value in having an awareness. or When you work on your script. with current events.places and events in the news is that it providesa file of information on which you can draw. What'syourjob.Then practice it with a spouse friend or in front of a mirror. someof thesescriptsand Try r63 .This with the lengthy doesn'tmeanyou have to sit down on a daily basis New York Times. The conversationstopsdead in its tracks. considerwaysyou can respondto information sharedby others. how do you respondwhen somebody tells you about his 1ob? "What da you dofor aliving. you can referto your memorized script of cannedresponses.of names."Campaignactivity is really heating up.INrrRrRcrNc AcrroN: IN GRoups IN ANo FRrEr. what will you sayto the host?How will you join a conversationl\7hat wordswill you usel How will you introduceyourselfl How will you respondto the inquiry "\Uhat do you do for a living. Rehearse.After you've answered inquiry about what the you do for a living. Questions are excellent because they keep the conversationgoing and draw attention awayfrom you. Practice.

not but what you did right! If you'rea memberof an ongoingsuppoftgroup.SruproOn Cnnzy?! add someof your own: "How did you get interested that area?" in "I don't know verymuchaboutthntfield.Look and listen a lot and talk very little. you can excuse yourselfto make a phone call or to ask the host something. like The focusof the conversationwill probablycome back to you after this questionand answerperiod.By then you shouldhave found some familiar territory and will be able to talk comfortablyabout a subject you know. you can leam a lot when you review thi tape. can usethe tapesto of You monitor your progress you practicenew waysof can leam about your behavior by watching yourself. are \7e don't advocateblind conformity to rules or buying into the idea r64 .Of course.Arrange for a video or audio recordingof your group's interactions. You may get in a bind and exhaustthe items in your script. initially keep a low profile. Although the cameramight be somewhat distracting. The hidden codemay tell you which subjects taboo. If this happens. you might be able to tape a series sessions. Also includeyour spouse friend in your practice or sessions you'll have someone bail you out when you needhelp.You MpeNI'v Nor Lxzy. Watch the others to seehow they behave. as this idea presupposes you feel comfortablein the group and that that none of the members objectsto being taped.Find out how much personal information peoplesharewith each orher and try to figure our any unspokenrules. so to If you're a memberof a supportgroup. lYhat exactlJdoes your work entail?" "Haqte you alwaysdone thiswork or did Jou stertoff in a different fieLd?" "Tltat sounds an interesting Can you tellme moreabout it?" job. Watch and Listen: \7hen you're with an unfamiliar group of people.Most groupshave informal codesof conduct that govem the behaviorof members. This is a valuableprocess only for reviewingwhat you did wrong.whereto sit or even how to dress.Include theseemergency techniquesduring exit your rehearsal.

make surethat you aren't interrupting. you can alwaysclaim that the batteryseems be wearingout. you wanted a particularreacof tion! Immediatelyapologize you know your wordswere impulsive.Set a mental alarm clock to ntrn yowselfoff rf you exceedyour allotted time.If if you hate to apologrze.In a safegroup of friends. Watclung Joltxwatchcan alsohelp you maintain focusas it givesyou something to do." Work on Your Reading Skills: Rememberthat people communicate through verbal and non-verbalchannels. it's a good bet that your wordssent an unintendedmessage-unless course.usethe eveningto practiceyour conversational skills.INrERrRcrNc AcrroN: IN GRoups Iu ANn FzuENosHrps that you must fit in. In casesomebody watchesyou watching your watch. It's better to to wearout your batterythan your audience! Watch Your Wandering: Pay closeattention to the number of tangential joumeysyou take so you won't start jumping all over. lizing the conversation. Wear a watch with a secondhand and unobtrusivelynote how long each personspeaks. Watch Your Watch: Focuson the mind is really on a mental marathon.If nothing else. Beforeyou start talking. The verbal channel usesthe voice asrhe instrument to producewordswhile body language and facial expressionsprovidevaluablecluesabout the impact of your behavior. \Uhen it's your turn.Make it a practiceto askthe speaker he has if finished beforeyou jump in and cut off his next thought. S"y somethinglike. .monopo. ask someoneto signal you when you're getting off track. Play closeattention to the danceof conversationand don't give a solo per6ormance. Force yourself to make eye contact. however. your teeth and do it anywaylThink of it as grit balancingyour checkbookor doing pushups. r65 .make a reasonable attempt to be cordial and respectfulof the group'srules at leastfor one evening. "Boy. not fun but it makes It's life easierin the lons run.You can. acknowledge your rambling. If you notice a look of horror.isn't it? Sorry about that. It will be up to you to decidewhether to continue your association with a particulargroup. If all elsefails and you're off and running beforeyou know it. You'll need to practicereading both kinds of language. . time yourself.

Please me know if I've saidor done anyrhingout of line.You MEenI'v Nor Lezy. "l have a bad caseof foot in mouth disease today.You really should try to leaveyour shield at home or in attaak the trunk of your car.SruproOn CnnzyT! If you don't know what caused negativereaction.LISTEN TO IT! The advice is three simplewords. Welcome the Feedback: \7hen you receivethe feedback.You needhelp.Responding appropriatelyto commentsabout your anything but simple!Your tendencymight be to put up your shield and go into auto'defense and mode.however. / \ ' 5 a O a (/ L - t66 .ask!You could the say. lem?"An altemative is to make a joke about your impulsivity." A let lighthearted approachcan make it easierfor the other personto provide feedback about your behavior.You could saysomethinglike. you can't do this all by yourself. Is there a prob."I noticed you frowned when I said such and such.Remember.

You will need them everywherefrom PTA meetings to officeplanning sessions.If you'vebeen working hard at your recovery. Our carefullyconstructed it's to shieldsdon't work well in closerelationships that illuminate our shortcomings. Using feedbackto changeyour behaviorcan have a powerful. Even if your experiences relationships in have beenunsuccessful.Don't be afraidto askfor positive feedbackaswell and don't forget to thank the person for taking the time to help you. Be selectiveand baseyour decisionon a realisticassessment your of abilitiesand disabilities. Small groupgatherings may work betterfor you. remember that there isn't a rule requiring Just you to be a socialbutterfly. But theseareessential partsof your recovery. This doesn'tmeanyou shouldgive up on learningand practicingyour interfacing skills. Prepare carefully for theseand do the bestyou can. positiveimpact on your socialsuccess. "No pain. Careful listening is hard.the sloganusedto inspirepatientsis.One Encounters Someof us preferlargegroupinteractionsthat enableus to remainsome'We what anonymous. may feel far lesscomfortablein one-to-onerelationshipsbecause impossible hide.INrERpncrNcIN AcrroN: IN GRoups ANo FRrrNosHrps Think of this learning process therapy. but JustSay "No" to rhe others.In physical therapy. you have knowledgeand skills you may have lacked t67 . commentsdon't have to be negative. Carefully Choose Your Social Activities: If you feel washedup and wom out after everysocialevent. acceptingcriticism is harder and changing your behavioris the hardestof all.Be honestwith you feel somehow his that you just don't measure socially? up There may be somesocialeventsthat you must attend.Do you attend thesefunctions you want to or because because you feel compelledto? \fhen an acquaintanceshares very full socialcalendar. don't resignyourselfto solitaryconfinement. Act II: Interfacing in One. it might be time to rereadthe section on balance." And of course.for as No gain.

by gazingout her back door. Ken Ken looksup to seePaulwalking down the aisle.You MEnNI'v Nor Lezv.He runs over him.though. your boy will be able to build a really housein his new backvard. Carolyn Carolyn invites Jason. expressing surpriseand delight to seehim again so soon after their first meeting. Theseare the in one-to-oneencounters with friendsand acquaintances. He asksif Paul receivedthe three messages left for him on he his answeringmachine yesterday. beginsaskingwhat his new friend would like to eat.You can be successful if pitfalls and designstrategies avoid them.She advises.fifteen families sharea block party everysummer!Carolyn refills her coffeebut doesn'tnotice that Jason's is empty. watch for non-verbalbehaviorand monitor verbal and non-verbal communication.Beyondthesesimilarities. She tells by him that in this neighborhood. invites Paul to dinner that He evening and without waiting for an answer." Notes: Act II Many of the rulesfor interactions are the samefor both group and 'We individual encounters.Carolyn responds telling him not to worry about it. to In Act II.SruproOn Cnnzv?! before. Ken beginstelling his new friend all about the cooking classes he's taking and what he's leamed about designing healthy menus. 168 .Your newfoundunderstanding about your balancesheetcan inherent in developingclose supportyou asyou risk the self-disclosure you're awareof the potential relationships.her new neighbor to join her for a cup of coffee. greattree with my son'shelp. Jasontells her that he'll missthe cookoutshe usedto have with his three neighbors.She responds his story about the tree househis son built to "'V7ell. Let'sseewhat we can leam from them. we'll studysomeother relationships action. She talks briefly about the neighborhoodand commentsthat she's surehe'll like it much better than wherehe usedto live. bet I in their old yard. must take tums listening and speaking. individual interactionsrequiresomewhat differentskills.

The bad news is that runing our is more obvious-the focusis on him with no one to run interference!He can't affordto take mind detoursbecause there'sno one to pick up and carry the conversational ball. one-to-onecommuni. she She needsto watch Jason's body language and note his attemprsto add commentsto her one-wayconversation.sheoverwhelmshim with her' from his needsto his friend'sneeds.What he needsto do is work equally hard at not working so hard! He needsto learn to redirecthis foc. She needsto think about her wordsand review the messages sends." to "He'sa professor andl barelyfinishedhigh school!" "What if I forgethername?" "What if I run out of rhings say?" to Engagingin negativeself-talkis destructive you because look at only one sideof your equation. Then there'sCarolyn. body language would give her a good clue that she's sendingan Jason's unintendedmessage boastingand "one-uppi. "Whnt if shedoesn'tlike me?" "I don'thaqte anJthinginteresting say.INrrnrRcrNc AcrroN: IN GnoupsANo FRrENosurps IN Is your friendshipmode similar to Carolyn'sor Ken's? Don't worry if you identify with either of them because they have a lot going for them.Never forget the other sideof your balance r69 . singingthe praises By of her neighborhood. Desperately wanting her new neighborto like her and his new neighborhood. of Synopsis of Act II There'sboth good newsand bad newsfor an ADDer in one to one socialinteractions. The goodnewsis that theseencounters fewer put demands the ability to switch gears-there arefewerdetailsto track on and fewerpeopleto read. cation can be particularlyscary. If you haven't come to termswith your disorder. With somerefinements. she's trying to help him adjusrro his new home. You might talk yourselfinto". Ken showsgenuineaffection for Paul and is willing to work hard at developingthis new friendship. they could developgood interaction skills.

is The key to maintaining a correctbalancebetweenthe two extremes you to interactwithout filling acrivelistening. it Inand pay attention to the message sends. .ADDers tend to go to extremes.SruptoOn Cnazv?! sheet! Henry Ford said." If you run from potential friendships.shareyour confusion: 170 . you may needto get to work. 'We can leam to be greatlisMany of us have excellentpeopleskills.The rhythm of the exchangeis slowerand easierto fol\7e can focus intently. Somesilenceis okay. ."CoLLld explnin thata Little or If you find yourselftalking excessively feeling uncomfortableat a lull in the conversation. As you think about considerthesetips."TeIlme more". Survival Tips for Act II Relax and Listen: Don't feel you have to fill every secondwith contalking a mile a minute or versation. completelytuning out. you more?" "Go on" . if you affirm personwho happens have somedisabilities. .your companionwill think you'reuninterested what he has to say.Send a message listening and interestedin what your companionhas to sayby nodding your head. you're acting and believing you can't On the other hand. teners. you'reright. noticing things low in one-to-one encounters."Whether you think you can or whether you think you can't.leaningforwardand maintaining eyecontact.Active listeningenables that you are up the conversationwith your words.But if your friendshipsare rocky or shorter-livedthan you'd like them to be. You may be fortunate to have a closefriend.You MEnNI'v Not Lnzv.If you check out altoin gether. They your own skills in one-to-onerelationships. yourselfasa capable to you are acting and believingJou can. that othersmissand offeringsensitiveand empathicsupport. You may have several closefriends. Watch his body language terject commentsthat let your companionknow that you are listening. . may be usefuland give you addedconfidencein thesesituations.locking in our focusto give a flattering level of attention to the other person.

avoid communicationmisunderstandings." Possible Interpretations: Although history may supporrthe first sraremenr.t. . has been around he for fifteen yearsand rememberingdatesmay be difficult for him. don'r jump ro conclusions. The clarity of the message an impact on the listener's has understanding. Even if your spouse rarelyremembers your anniversary. always"or "you never'lStrike them from your vocabulary unless you want a full scalebattle to eruptl Thesewordsfeel threateningand accusatory.One sure-firemethod for shutting down the channelsof communication is using the words "yo. The intent of the message be misinterpretedregardcan lessof how clearlyit is stated.. Is that true?" Effective ((r..Yt I shoutdsomething do about Clarification: .INrgnnncrNc IN AcrroN: IN GRoups ANo FRrENnsHrps "Am I nlking toomuch?. !7hen you use 17r ." in "He's accusing of beinga slob...irlr.I thougfu you were criticiTing me. . A better technique is to rephrase your words asl-messages communto icate your feelingsabouthow somethingaffects you." Jou 'We Avoid ttFightin' Words": talked about the importanceof active listening." me "He's just noticing and commenting thesnte of on the house. Moreover.t l(rT.. to Do youhnveany ideas?" Clarify the Message: Rememberthat communication is an art form." me "He's telhing to cleanup the house. Restated "# Interpretations: "Wen you saidthat."or ( ( r "Wereyou saying " . take greatcarewith the wordsyou use. . Statement: "Things&rea mess thishouse. To clarify the way you interpreted the message-restateit in your own words. I'ue run out of things talk about.To ensurethat your companionwill interpret your message tfi. .each of us interpretslanguage from an individual frame of reference. They assign blameand createfeelingsof defensiveness.r | "I thought said.

SruproOn Cnazyl! you You-messages. 17z .lighten up! Tell a joke. direct the focusto your listener and force him to arguehis position. he looks puzzled. I haqte sayis unimportarLt" to You.rrr€ssage: "When you stnrtnlking bef I' m finished I f eeL ore tltnt wl'tat .you If can scare calmerpersonto death! a Be cautiouswhen you find yourselfdiscussing one of your favorite subjects pet peeves.The communications departmentof a local univergood place to look for this kind of training.message: "Why do you intenuptme aLl time?" the lUatch your listener'sbody language. aska questionor change the subject.He might showera friend with sincere.he might get physicallytoo close. sity would be a Watch Your Intensity Level: ADD adults can be intense. you'renot careful.He may be hearof ing somethingvery different from what you're trying to say.rt€ssflge: "When you didn't call yesterdnJ wondered youwere tf . excessive but flattery that leaves him feelingembarrassed wonderingif we're really teasing. might be helpful to increase It your learning experiences taking part in a classor group that pracby ticestheseskills. or As Ken does. If stop talking. He often overwhelmsother peoplewith the ferocity of his friendship." neuercaLI You. Ask him to clarifu his understanding what you said.passionate and single-minded aboutpersonalinterests.I madat me.Here are someexamples the differences of between thesetwo kinds of messages: I. An ADDer can get carriedawaywith a topic because his intensity. of It can alsocause more generalproblemthat pervades whole rea the lationship. you find the other personmentallyor or If physically backingoff. There are many other usefulcommunication techniquesbut we hope you get the ideafrom theseexamples.message3"YILL whenJou sayyou wiIL" I.You MEaNI'v Nor Lezy.obliviousto the other person's needfor space.

\7e'11 look at someof your jobs the on job and offer somesuggestions improving your skills in someof them. Pencil in when you make a contact and jot down notesabout the encounter. it may help to keep a diary or calendarthat tracksyour behaviorin friendship-making. of we'll alsodo a brief task analysis.INrrRrecrNc IN AsrroN: IN Gnoups ANo FRrENosHrps r Bulru nu !3t ' lJtAp r Slow Down: Even if an ADD adult is adeptat verbal and non-verbal communication. Don't just pick up the phone to call your new acquaintance until you check your joumal. Indicatein your joumal a date for your next contact and don't call or drop in before that date! In the next chapteqwe'll move on to relationships the workplace. may not be amunedto the in He pacingand gradualeasinginto involvement. he can have difficulty maintaining a friendship over the long haul. too fast. This analysis will include an important question.Are you failing on your job or is your job failing you? L?3 .paying particularattention to the other person's response.trying ro ger roo close. in Although our focuswill be on issues inter{acingand communication. He doesn'twant to wait for the natural progression of phases developingrelationships. for \7e'll also look at your relntionship yaurjob to help you analyzeany to failuresyou may be experiencing. If this is a problemfor you.

different from social you of In the one-to-onerelationships friendships can choosethe people with whom you'll shareyour time and personalinvolvement. With her colleagues."r. to-one relationships but requiresimilar mainaren't closefriendships shipsof employees are tenanceover time. net for your job asyou do for the other parts of your life.With her friends. But you with whom you'll interact and you can't can't choosethe employees choosethe meetingsyou'll attend. The same is true of the socialgatheringsyou attend-you can chooseto skip a party if you aren't crazy about the peoplewho will be there. Are there 174 . in As an adult with ADD. a The workplaceis a socialarenaand arguably political one aswell. your success the work world is alsolargely of dependenton how well you get alongwith your job.shecan count on a degree underher she standingabouther ADD.A. Likewise. Because your you have to carefullybuild a safety particular deficits and differences.Thesedyfor namicscreatesomeunique problems an ADDer with shakycom.There are elementsof both oneThe one-to-onerelationand groupinteractions. has to manage deficitswith greatfinesse.pren 9 in lnterfacing Actionl Along theJob on Gettine Cur.You have to interact with your coworkersin a variety of settings. \Uork relationshipsare an interesting variation on the theme of interfacing. can be made or desffoyedaccordingto how well we get along with other peopleon the job. of munication skills.CH. good interpersonal relationships and an Success the job requires on the abihty to understand "politics" within the work setting.the groupinteractionsof employees gatheringsin that they are ongoing.

She greetsa questionabout her poftciesasa 175 ..r Tur Ton somestrategies can useto improvethe quality of your work?How you can you makeyour job work for you?Is your job the bestmatch for your particularabilitiesand disabilities? this chapter. Notes: Act III Diane is a hardworking.Diane startedtaking aspirinon a daily basisand considered getting back into therapy. She'san excellentemployee whoseperformance been noted and rewarded has by her superiors.l raining down like fireworkson her "subjects" below. Although sheroserapidly ro an administrativeposition. increased sales' she the volume of her d"putt-".rt it. Three months later.Sellinga product isn'r th. assellingpeopleon one'sideasfor managinga sales force. bonuses and a promotion to the position of SalesManager.\7ords are shooting out of the -egaphon" "r. .shegrabsher megaphort. Her hard work and talents wererewarded with largecommissions.IxrEnrRcxc IN AcrroN: GtrrrNc Ar-oNcOr. she is leaming that stayingup there is tricky. "nd startsissuingdirectives.She is a can-do womzlnwho is usedto getting the job done-nowl \fhen her sales people don't solveproblemsasfast asshe does.She recently found a crumpled piece of paperon the floor and is trying to figure out what to do ubo.clutching a huge megaphone in both hands. of Act III: Getting Along on the Job Diane Diane found her niche in sales and quickly becamea rop saleswoman.u*. The paperis a caricature her drawn by one of her salesm-en. The most obviousis that her managerial in skillsaren't asgoodasher sellingskills. Diane'simpulsivity may play a role in her problems. Single-handedly. she_ towering over her sales is force.Diane'ssocial deficitsmay have caughtup with her.we'll expand In interfacingto include thesespecificaspects iob managemenr.energeticand creariveADD woman.t after being on the job only a few months. what is going wrong for her? So There are probably a number of explanationsfor the problemsDiane is experiencing her job. of In the picture.

She can't understandwhy someof her hindrance to her sales' employees refuseto work the samefifty or sixty hours shedoesevery week.The relationships a work environment are affectedby the positionspeoplehold.She rants and ravesthat shehas to do the work or it would never get done.they are only one part of the equation. needsof colleagues \7hat doesall this meanfor you?It meansyou really have your work in cut out for you! To be successful the world of work. to md The boss who neqter euenwhen sdcksto herjob description The coworkerwho doggedly are deadlines loomand colleagues desperate help.for example: of tlrc seems Listen who asl<s impossible you. and Although ADD adultsmay relationships. you shouldbe sensitiveto the who might alsohave hidden disabilities. and multiple interpersonal have someunique problemsin this work setting.SruptoOn Cnezv?! You MEaNI'u Nor L. interfacing!Consider. If \7hen a work relationcan view a situation from its shouldn't assume strugglingwith deficits your unreasonable Perhaps she's colleague's. of There isn't much you can do about the hidden agendas fellow emyou ployees. to The coworkerwho adnmantlyrefuses take responsibility a for screw-up. similar to yours. have a greatpotential for breakdown.7 6 . figures.complexorganizations and someof them alsohave Many peoplearepart of work relationships for This makes somevery interest-ing ADD or other disabilities. Synopsis: Act III The work environment is a mini-societygovemedby rulesformulated of the ro prorect the rights and establish responsibilities the peoplewho in work there. Reviewyour inventory and 1. you remember that you'reonly one pieceof the puzzle. Large. for yorlrs. you'll need to of review many of the things we've talked about in previoussections pay closeattention to your balthis book. The boss who contimnllymakeshisemergencJ.czv.As an adult with ADD. your fault-or that it's exclusively ship unravels. individual personalities 1obresponsibilities.

You can't changethe rule but you can rewardyourself for following it by treatingyourselfto a favorite tape during your break.particularlyyour listening skills. duresand policiesbecause don'r work in isolation. Make Sense of the Rules: Don't arbitrarily ignore the rules that don't make sense you.lNrrnnncrNc IN AcrroN: GETTTNG Ar-oNc ON THE lon ance sheet. study it anyway. Sunzival Tips: Act III Rules. Do somehave validity for the organizationasa whole even though you personally disagree with them?If so. Procedures and Policies Many ADDers harc to swallowthesebitter pills-unfortunarely there's no way to sweetenthem! Unlessyou own your company. "Rules are made to be broken." \7e suggest you modify the words slightly: "Rulesare madeto be changed.Think through the rule you're disputingand ap- 177 .You can't leaverhis homework undone! You must be very clear about where you fit within the overall structureto avoid oversteppingyour boundsor failing ro carry our your responsibilities.It outlines your companyt systemof govemment and chain of ssrnrnxnithings such as who reports to whom and areasof individual responsibilities.proce. Perhaps you can set up a rewardsystemasa motivating tool. for Make sureyour communication skills. Diane paid attention to hers. You may decide that not being allowed to listen to rock music in the office is totally'll have to leam to live with them. Make a list of all the policiesyou disagree with and analyze each of them.questionit. Question the Rules Carefully: You'veprobablyheard the have to play by someoneelse's rules. lUork at trying to understandtheir rationale.shemight If decide to give up the higher pay and execurivetitle to do what she doesbest-sell products. talk with your spouse a closefriend about or them. are solidly in place.It will be an invaluable frameworkasyou begin to develop your management strategies. you Much asyou may hate your policy handbook.You have to follow companyrules.Let's take a look at someideasfor dealing with problemsin the world of work.\Uhen to you're awayfrom work."If a rule doesn'tseemto make sense you individually or for the companyasa whole.

This network is the office grapevinethat reflec$ the complexdynamics 178 . carefullyconceivedproposalthat focuses the benefitsfor her asan individual and the company asa on whole.Keepyour impulsivity in check and proceed Just s-l-o-w-l-yand tactfully.Don't start shakingthings up after you've beenon your new job exactlyforty-five minutes! No one in the companywill buy your ideasif you are an unknown quantity. Arrive at work on'll who is willing to negotiate. Letting the bossthink shecameup with your idea is a time honored A method to facilitate change. First.procedures policies. you can forget . you should demonstrateyour loyalty and dependability.After you've eamedthe respect your superfor iors and coworkers.r Nor Lxzv. questioningpoliciesand procedures be a positivequality.because your boss. Sell Your Ideas: Although it's unwiseto challengeauthority at every can can start making suggestions change. and don't take advanof tageof your sick days. least.And then listen. .The have a readingon her assomeone door will be open for future exchanges. If you without bothering to come up with a new systemfor order processing "baby. I'm If you receivethe response.thank her for entertainingyour ideas. SruproOn Cnazv?! proach the appropriatepersonwith your question. On the other hand. it out on a trustedpersonin the informal office network to seeif it's workable. try If you have a greatproposal. take one hour for lunch and not a minute more. don't move too fast.You MEnNI'r'. if your superioroffersinformation you At had overlooked.".She can help you evaluateits factsbefore merits and confirm that you've included all the necessary you formally presentit."you probablywon't be in find out that old one is your boss's her goodgraces! Unwritten Rules. Much of the vital information is unwritten and is part of and an informal network of office politics. rules. Make sureyou do your homework first. can also work. Procedures and Policies policy You won't find everything you need to know in the company's handbook." about doing anything beyondswallowingyour objectionsand toeing the line. profile and doing what you'reexpectedto do. Spendtime keepinga low \7ork on building positiverelationships.

It holds the inside information about the real power structurein an organization. Take it easy. especially employees your work site if in don't lock their desks. you may want to carry a small calendaror notebookwhereyou keep theseconfidentialmaterials. won't repeatourselves. to The real chain of command may operatethrough her. if the unwritten rulescall for it. S and Ms. Get Inside the Inner Circle: If you have trouble figuring out the informal network.she may have great influence within the company. we Review the information about communication skills and continually practice and rehearse.a secretary who isn't officially high on the chain of command. It won't sit well with your bossor employees if you fail to let them know what you're doing or forget to sharevital information.INrsRrncrNc AcrroN: GErrrNcAr-oNcON TUElon IN of the peoplewho work together.They'lI view you asan arrogantemployee who won't acceptauthority or considerthe opinions or feelingsof subordinates. Usually the employees "the in know" are old-timerswho have eamedtheir statusand play their roles to the hilt.may wield enor. your checklistto be sure Use you'refollowing properformal and informal procedures.For instance. Make a list of theseinformal procedures. you may find her unwilling to divulge her knowledge. Gradually draw her out to leam how the company operates. Follow the Unwritten Rules: If written policy dictatesthat memos shouldbe sent to Mr. develop a relationship with someonewho seems to know what'sgoing is frequently in the form of 179 . bypassing the vice-president who is simply a figure-head. don't fail to sendone to Mr. T. Better still.With detailed knowledgeabout the company and ready access the boss.lfe've focusedon communication asspokenwords and body language but in the workplace. mouspower.You'll need to earn her respectto enter the inner circle. Our discussion and suggestions here will be the dimensions commuof nication that are somewhat unique to work settings. Communication is the transmission messages of from one personor group to another. Technology and Communication Since we've alreadytalked about the dynamicsof communicationin variousrelationships. They don't know or careabout your memoryproblemsand attention deficits. If you try to make an instant friendshipor start grilling someoneover lunch. R. though.

alreadyformatted. memo is E-mailedand the report the is networkedlThis is anothergoodnews/bad newssituationfor ADDers.the ad is scanned..can send inquiriesand receiveresponses. can think 2. You don't even have to wait impatiently at the door for the mail carrier. For the Good News-High tech equipment.SruproOn Cnazy?! written expression.:".:ff""1. If fax machineshad this capability. You cried: Eachof theseresponses illustratesthe disadvantages modem technolof ogy. Now there'sa high tech twist-the price sheetis faxed.your computeror fax machine with a little help from the telephonecompany. tation and record-keeping.' know that the personroutinely ending up in New York would be you. Yorkt Three uD things may have happened when you readthis little tidbit: 1.You MrnN I'u Nor Lazy. You laughed: of at leastone personin your office who would routinely end up in wouldn't be completewithout a discussion about technology's impact on communication. 3.ilr* the printer. Businesses have alwaysrelied on written documen.E-mail.particularly the computer. scanningand faxing may mean absolutely nothing to you. \Uhile this book isn't a training manualfor high tech equipment. may be the best thing that's ever happenedto an ADDer. For the Bad News-Haqte youheardrhe jokeaboutthe employee who got his ne caughtin thefax machine and" ended in Neq.In a flash. networking.""'e vou If fax machineshad this capability.Even if you approacha TV remotecontrol with fear and trepidation. k won't pur gasin your car beforeyour business but it can remind you to do it! trip It will check the spellingand grammarof your lettersand sendthe contents. This isn't a reflectionof your IQ! It's mind-boggling how rapidly new methodsfor transmitting information have developed. you might have to usethe fax machine and telephone that have more buttons than the front of your shirt! 180 .

when your cartoon of your bossDiane inadvertently ends ? up on her computer screeninsteadof your buddy's And finally.INrrnrRcrNcIN AcrroN: GErtrNc Ar-oNcON TnE Joe WSLGOMG' Nrw voBh Let's take a quick tour of the world of high tech computersand their might have a choice about which kind to use.Matching your leaming styleto your computeris important. Briefly. sizes and colors. how can you usethem to your advantage? Computer and ADD Compatibility: Computersare similar to people. "personality"and communicationstyle. don't jump to the conclusionthat you are computerilliterate! You and your 181 .What can and can't they dol How can you leam to usethem so you don't fax yourselfout of stateor maneuveryourselfout of a jobyou know.If your office uses several different kinds of computers. If you're starting out on either one and having a terrible time. you communicatethrough a Macintosh computer with metaphors (visualchannel) and an IBM with words(auditorychannel).Eachhas its own They come in a variety of shapes.

If dictate your letters. at You shouldalsorememberto usesomeof the bypass strategies talked we about in previouschapters. Office Equipment and Cheat Sheets: Many peoplehave trouble usingmechanicalor technical equipmenr.In the appendixof this book we've listed severalavailable softwarepackages.Your ideasmay flow more easilyif you talk first and write later. Considerworking with a tutor or checkingout continuing educationclasses your local can collaboratewith a coworkerwho writes clearly but has problemsgeneratingoriginal ideas.Togetheryou may be able to write reportsthat outshineany either of you could producealone. Remedialwriting classes may help you work on shakywriting skills.and presto-you have a polishedbusiness document. Written Expression-Memos. Check with your dealeror the adults in your support group for other suggestions.Templatesare preparedgenericlettersfor everything from job order confirmationsto congratulations a colleague's promotion. If your responsibilities include writing reportsand other more complex choosea template that matchesyour need. Otherwise try using a tape recorderto "write" your first drafts.This isn'r exclusively a problem for folk with ADD. Even if you usespellcheckers and word processing programs. however. for With the software. Letters and Reports: A compurer can perform incredible featsif you arc computer comfortable. you have a secretary.You MrnN I'ruNor Lazy. you can still usevarioustemplates your frameworkbut as will need to do the actualwriting yourself. Show your work to a sympathetic colleague a critique beforeyou sendit out. You may find it very helpful in your job. But someof the ADD differences do T82 . If the writing requirements your job are primarily intemal memos of and business might continue to have problemswith written expression. For example. changethe namesand dates. It can relieveyou of the tedium of details and becomeyour personalsecretary.considerbuying an easyto usesoftware package of templates. for Don't forget to usebarteringasa tool to bypass your weak writing skills.SruproOn Cnnzy?! computermay simply have communicationproblemsbecause of learningstyles'incompatibility.

telephone. You probably should make a cheat sheetfor yourself. you might be in If is the wrong vocation! Our guess that noiseprobablycontributesa greatdeal to your stress. you basketoverflowing with pages you wastedan entire packageof finally get it right! Not only have paper. with largegroupsof peopleor figuring out how to usea complicated telephonesystem. Doors and Telephones: First. You might find that this memoryby-pass you because the system ultimately helpsyou to memorize procedure leaming asan anchor.INrERnRcrNc ActtoN: GgrttNc AI-oNc ON THE los compoundthe problem. If you sharethe machine with others. Related to this is an impaired memory.Related Stress and ADD An ADDer's bossmay compliment her on the quality of her work but with may need to keep your set of directions in your deskdrawer. which are..How many times have you approachedthe duplicatingmachineto hand-feeda two-sideddocument and couldn't rememberhow to do it? Ten tries later. can be minimizedby managingstress programs useful management are The generalstrategies taught in stress but there are others more specificfor the unique problemsof ADDers.etc. You've seenhow increasingcomplexity has an impact on your perforinteracting mance.of course. Intrusionsof noisecan be very distracting 183 .their severity increase. the sourceis everythingaboutyour job.You seethe directionsasyou usemulti-sensory perform them. They are probablycommenting on her generalirritasymptomaticof her disorder.Do the samething for the fax machine. bility and moodiness These symptomstypically get worseasdemandsfrom the environment can't be eliminated. Noise. Although the symptoms levelsin the work environment. Work. express concem about the quality of her relationships that working with alike might complain Superiorsand subordinates her is've alsowastedvaluabletime. try to figure out the sourceof your stress.L. with the wastereversed and printed upsidedown.Make a list or and tape it to the top of the duplicating macchart of the procedures hine.This is true whether you'redoing math problems.

184 . Just make it clear that this is your problem. literally and figuratively. If you or work in an open_area whereyou can't closethe door. active participant in the work environment. Explain to your coworkersthat you can't concentrateon detailed work when there is excessive noise.You MEnNI'r.You'll accomplishmuch mo"re without the constant interruptions. the *oik is over. open your door. Tb. But you have to balance the need to maintain work relationships with your needfor quiet to handle the detailsof your job.SruproOn Cnnzy?! and irritaring.Even if this meanstaking someof your work home. You don't have to tell them about your ADD.._\7hen detailedconcenrrarior.r Nor LAZr. you'll have time to gathereverythingyou'll need to handle the calis in a friendly and efficient manner.Your work quality and telephonemannersmight improve if you schedule designated a rime for handling telephonecalls.Don't allow yourselfro ger so involved with a task that you snarl at a colleague who comesin for a consultation. take advantage it! There are important reasons keeping your door of for open. Many peopleare botheredby noise and will understandyour need to work without interruption. it may be wbrth it if you can minimizeyour stress during work hours.You haven'r closed iout dbor because you don't like your coworkers! Your shouldn't retreat behind your closeddoor any longer rhan absolutely_necessary. asan "r" "rr"il"bl. ten to music asyou work or a tape of white noise if music is distracting.Then closeyour door. sameprinciple appliesro rhe telephone. An openeddoor sendsthe message that yor.but I don't have any _"These control over my schedule" "l don't even have my own office". You may be thinking. You will win brownie points if you're only availableduring cerrain hours but are calm and welcomingwhen your door is operi. ideassoundgreat. is it possible for you to wearheadphones when you need to concentrate? You could lis. If you have an office with a door you can shut for periodsof time.Beforeyour scheduled telephonetime.

INrEnrnctNc IN AcrtoN: Grt"rtNc At-oNc ON THrJon

if Your bossmight be more amenableto suggestions you offer them as producwaysto improve your efficiency.Document your increased really work. Again, you to convince her that thesestrategies tivity you'reconfident she'll act on unless don't have to shareyour diagnosis your disclosurein a positive way. If you feel that you have no control over your schedule,are you absohave experimented A lutely surethat's the case? number of corporations hours for employeephone calls.They have found with designated in that the decrease interruptions throughout the day improvesproApproach your bossabout this. Ask if your office or group ductivity. phone hours or even designated could experiment with designated quiet time for work that requiresheavy concentration. Talk with coworkersto find out if noise and interruptionsbother them. distracChancesare, they probably alsohave trouble with excessive tions. Enlist their support.You may be able to make changesin your for workplacethat will make the environment more user-friendly everyare to you, but thesestrategies taught in timeone. It may be surprising under You may elicit supportfor thesechanges managementcourses. the guiseof wanting to manageyour time more effectively. If you try everything and still can't control the noise and intermptions, rhink seriouslyabout looking for a new job or even a different line of level from a highly distracting environment can be a work. The stress threat to your mental health. Are you failing or is your work failing you? Miscellaneous Strategies For easeof readingwe've tried to group the managementstrategies The onesthat follow don't really fit anywhereelse,so into categories. we've includedthem togetherin this section. Thke Your Medicine: This probablygoeswithout saying,but if you make sureyou take need to take medicine to manageyour symptoms, it during your work hours. Your ability to handle details and interruptions will improve. Moreover, the condition of your finger nails and the anxiety of your office mate will probablyalsoimprove! As an ADD adult, you may not be in perpetualmotion anymorebut may have the masrered art of foot tapping, finger drumming and knuckle cracking.


You MEaNI'v Nor Lnzy,SruproOn Cnazy?!

This constant fidgeting can be exrremelyannoying to other people. Thesebehaviorsare definitely not conducive to improving interpersonal work relationships. Manage Your Symptoms: Actively work on your problematicADD behaviorsto decrease them or makethem lessnotic""bl". Try substituting a behaviorthat is lessdistractingto other people.Can you move your handsor swing your leg under the deskso that no one sees doing it? you Thppingyour fingersagainst eachother is quieterthan kickrng your desk or drumming your fingerson the desktop.Can you gnaw on the top of your pencil so you look asif you aredeeplyengrossed your work? in How aboutusingyour "closeddoor time" to spin happily on your desk chair?What about carefullyspaced trips to the warer fountain, file cabinet or duplicating machine?Volunteer ro run needederrands.Find acceptable excuses ger up from your deskperiodically. to


INrERrRctNclN AcrtoN: GErrtNc AI-oNc ON THeJon

Control Your Foot in Mouth Disease: Have you ever filed a medical It insuranceclaim for FootinMouthDisease? may not be on the list of you have ADD, you probablyhave coveredmedical conditions but if an itl This condition causes ADDer to spendmost of her life with at she leastone foot in her mouth because doesn'tmonitor what she says she saysit! It's no wonder she stumblesalong in work relationbefore ships.Hopping on one foot while extricating the other from the mouth makesit difficult to managethe detailsof a job! Of coursewe're talking about that troubling impulsivity of our ADD in that keepsgetting us in hot water.It got us poor grades conducton gradeasa man' our schoolreport cardsand getsDiane an unsatisfactory remarkor a poorly wordedmemo can makeenemies ager.A thoughtless and even contribute to the lossof a job. Our adviceto you on this one is to Be a S.T.A.R. You have to work hard to srifleyourselfat work. Monitor everyword that comesout of your mouth and think twice beforesayinganything. Beforeyou speak, remind yourselfto stop and think, look, and act or approachsomeone, you take action, reflecton the resultsof your actions.If listen. \fhen glue necessary, a largeS.T.A.R. on your desktopasa memory teaser for Stopping,Thinking, Acting, and Reflecting.It will take a lot of effort to pull this off. You may need to rewardyourselfby finding a likeyou can let off steamat mindedindividual you can trust. Together, lunch or during breaks in we Review Chapter 8 Again: All the issues discussed group and interfacing apply to the work setting.Refer to the strategies relationin the previouschapterfor continued work on interpersonal shipsand communication. The remainderof this chapter is a departurefrom the format we've to been following. We'll usethis discussion explorethe questionwe posedearlier:"Are you failing in your job, or is your job failing you?"

What Do You Want to Do When You Grow Up?
looking for Have you ever pouredover the want adsin the newspaper job that matchesyour qualifications? How many times have you a


You MreN I'v Nor Lnzy,SruproOn Cnnzvl!

closedthe newspaper without respondingto even one inquiry because you couldn't find a match?Let your ADD imagination roam io, u ,rro. ment and pretend you've just seenthe following ad:

Fast growing company looking for one special employee! The perfect candidate will be someone who h.r, difficulty with rulesand authority, ineffectivecommunicationskills, trouble switching betweenasks, an intoleranceto noise, an inability to handle interruprions, an irritable, moody,unpredictableand impatient personality, an intrusive, impulsive and hyperactivebehavior style. Now, there'sa job_designed ADDers! But let'sget back to reality. for The chancesare slim to none that you'll ever come across ad like an that, Don't just tossit aside,though, until you take a closerlook. To do this, you'Il need to refer to your inventory again.Use your creative thinking and growing awareness your ADD of to hypo"drr".rt"g.i thesizeabout waysro useboth sidesof the equation.

impaired communication skills trouble switching with gears intolerance to noise


Positive Qualities?

difficulty rules authority I develops with possibilities solves and problems and with complexity I only excessive focus+ability onejobdone to get well I super focus+ability onejobdone to get wellI super if it'squiet

inability handle to interruptions I super job focus+ability one done to get wellin small setting irritability, impatience intrusive impulsive and hyperactive up getting things done I shaking complacency; setting; energizing I notsobadin a small things done: stimulating I getting


INrpRrRcrNcIN AcrtoN: Gt-rrlNc At-oNc ON THr lon

Whether you're twenty, forty or sixty yearsold, it's not too late to reasand liability sheetmay help Your asset someof your life choices. sess the you evaluatethe questionabout job failure.Perhaps job you'rein is deadwrong for you. Vocational Planning: For our young ADD adult readerswho are pay consideringtheir future professions, carefulattention to our want ad and list of positive and negativequalities.You may decidebased on your interestand math aptitude,that accountingis an obvious choice for you. Beforeyou spendsubstantialtime and money on a collegeeducation,give plenty of thought to your balancesheet.You If may love math but do you love detailsand paperwork? not, the you to tears.If your painstakingdetail of accountingwork may bore you aspect mathematics, of real love is the creative,problem-solving might be happierin certain kinds of engineeringor computerwork. do To avoid costlymistakes, your homeworkfirst. Check with your in local supportgroup about vocational counselors your area.There for specifically isn'r to our knowledge,vocational testing designed ADDers. But you may be able to latch on to a competentprofessional The information gainedfrom vocawith experiencein ADD issues. your balancesheetand help you make tional testingcan supplement about additionaltraining or higher education. important decisions If you can get by without the eamingsof a summerjob, considerusing your free time to do volunteerwork in your field of interest.You'll it by learn a greatdeal more about a profession experiencing firsthand than readingabout it in a book. you'reconsidering. Ask them detailed Talk to peoplein the profession questionsabout what they do every day.Find out what they like and dislike about their work and think abouthow this fim with your new selfknowledge.Are you cut out for spendingmuch of your working day committeemeetgradingpapers and going to endless writing lectures, If ings? not, you may needto rethink your decisionaboutusingyour love Perhaps becominga freelance of literatureto becomea collegeprofessor. writer would be a more rewarding,though lesslucrative,choice. If you want to attend collegebut have only a vagueidea of your future careerinterests,try to attend a university that offersa variety of degree


You MpnNI'ruNor Lezy,SruproOn Cnezy?!

programs. Talk with a collegecounselor about the course work in various programs. Creditsoften applyacross programs. can usecredits degree You you'vealreadyeamedin a new programif you decideto switch your major.If you plan carefully, you can savewastedtime, effiortand money. You're Grown Up and Still Asking: "What Do I Want to Do When I Grow (Jp?" Even if you've investedtons of money and time in your careerand current job, you don't necessarily have to throw it all away.Beforeyou decideto jump ship, thoroughly examineyour currenrsituation.In many careers, there is latitude for changewithin the profession. Psychiatric and community health nursing,for example,requirecreative problem-solving and a gestaltapproach. Unlike hospitalnursing,they don't includeextensive detail work. In teaching,possibilities exist for a changeof gradelevel or subjectmatter.There are alsooptions for supervisoryor counseling positions. Find Your Niche: Perhaps job you need is the one you already the have,with a twist. You might be ableto find or negotiatea job description that fits your abilities and offersunique benefitsro your company. You may be thinking about beginninga degree programin counseling you feel that you'rewastingyour peopleskills.Beforeyou acr because on your decision,considerpossibilities within your cuffenr organization. Many businesses offer training and consultationservices their emto ployees. Can you becomethe in-housetrainer or consultant? With your individual talentsand someseminartraining, you can offer your services a fraction of the cost your companytypically incurs in hiring at outsideconsultants. Your companymay even be willing to pay for the additionaltraining you'Il need. Match Yourself With Your Job-Start Your own Business: Maybe you'renot a perfectcandidatefor someone's want ad and will need to designa job to fit your qualifications. the oversupply rulesand Is of regulations coupledwith the snail'spaceof changein a largeorganization, unbearable? you shouldexplorewaysof working by and Perhaps for yourself. The difficultiesyou experience someone in else's business may disappear when the business your own. is You may be able to usethe niche you developed within your organi. zation asa jumping-offplacefor other business opportunities. you As


INrrRracrNc IN AcrroN: GETTTNG Ar-oNc ON THr los

you continue to collect a paycheckand gain invaluableexperience, can begin networking outsideyour company.You may at somepoint decide to go off on your own and contract with your previousemployer and other relatedbusinesses offer your services. to As a consulhnt, you have the advantage being your own boss.It can of be easier ignorearbitraryrulesand rigid peopleif you aren't a permto anent employee. You don't have to get caughtup in the office politics and can move on when policiesand peoplestartgettingon your nerves. And it's usuallyeasier be on your bestbehaviorwhen you'rein a new to situationonly for a short time. You may alsobe ableto retain someof the benefitsof workingfor someone else-use of office equipment,secretarial supportand the established network of business contacts. If you chooseto join the ranksof many ADD adultswho start their own businesses, it carefully.Thke a hard look at your balancesheet do and your list of perceivedfinancial needs.Can you affordfinancially and emotionally to live with lesswhile you work at developingyour own business? If you decideto take the calculatedrisk of working for yourself, your use list of assets explorepossibilities to that offer the bestmatch. Keep in mind that working on your own ofrersflexibility but requires long hours your business. alsorequires in the initial stages establishing great of It self-discipline. you'll needto be very careful With no time clock and policy handbook, to establish firm schedule a and set of rulesto keepyourselfon track. After you'vecompletedyour self assessment, the assistance a seek of professional help you develop a business plan for the first three to to five yearsof your new endeavor. business plan will provide the strucA ture, schedules task list an ADDer needsto stayon track. and Temporary Work: Rather than establishingyour own business, you might try temporarywork asa satisfactory compromisebetweenselfemploymentand working for someone else.In temporarywork, you "rent" your skillsby the hour, day or longerbut usuallywork for an agencythat employsa number of temporaryworkers.


You MpnNI'u Nor Lxzy.SruproOn Cnnzy?!

Temporarywork offersseveraladvantages. The ADDer can satisfya restless nature by changingjob settings frequently.Another advantage is the ability to control the hours of work. Many of us find a standard forty-hour,five-daywork week incompatiblewith our unique capacities. Some of us find full time work too taxing. Others prefer working for long stretchesand then taking largeblocks of time off. Many ADDers are alsonight people,unableto function well until the aftemoon.In temporarywork, unusualworking pattemscan often be accommodated. If you'refairly adaptable and can get alongwith peoplefor short periods of time, temping may work well for you. Of courseit doesn't offer carte blanche to do anything you please.If you're irresponsible about completingtasksor developa reputationfor being difficult, you'll stop getting assignments. If you have had a history of employmentfailure,useyour new selfknowledgeto reassess reasons it. Your awareness your balance the for of sheetcan help you realisticallyanalyze your situation,sortingout the problemsthat result from your behavior and those that are related to the behaviorsof others.You may be in a better position to figure out whether you have failed on your jobs or your jobs have failed you. Your new insightsmay even help you becomemore acceptingof the quirks of your colleagues. Your main goalsshould be to improve your work relationshipsand limit the time you spendin interactionsthat are difficult for you. You may decidethat you can and shouldmake somebehavioralchanges. You may decidethat you shouldchangeyour job or career. You may decide that you've alreadymadethe correct choicesand are happy with them. If you decidethat somechanges in order,move slowly and thoughtare fully. Although you need to baseyour decisions your individual on strengthsand weaknesses, don't forget to include your family in the decisionmakingprocess. Maintaining friendships, surviving in groupencountersand interacting job aren't easytasks.But developingintimate relationshipscan on the be even more difficult. In the next chapter,we'll tum to Interacting, Acts IV and V. \7e'11 watch somescenes taking place in dating and


INrrRnRcrNc Acrrox: GrrrrNc Ar-oNcON THEloe IN

family relationships. Thesehigher risk relationships sharesomeelements of the oneswe've alreadyexamined.But they are unique in their depth and complexity and requirespecialcareand nurturing. We'll offer some specificideasyou can useto make them work successfully.


Angela and Simon Angela and Simon spendeverywaking hour together. The level of complexityand emotional investmentis very different.He callsher at work several times a day and showsup at her door with flowersand gifts.Brad falls deeplyin love-again and again.however.CuRpren 10 lnterfacing6ction: ln ln theDatin€ and Garne theFarnilv Tn" "rules" of dating and family relationships similar to thoseof are groupand one-to-onerelationships. Brad is heartbroken because knows that Sharon is the only woman with whom he wants he to spendthe rest of his life. He'ssurethat she doesn'treally mean it.They are truly in love and Simon is planning the perfecttime and placeto propose to her. He met Angela just a few weeksagobut winesand dinesher almosteveryday. Act Mhe Dating Game Sharon and Brad Sharonretums from work to the four messages Brad left on her answering machine. Sharondoesn'tknow it.isunwilling to accepther decision. \fhen they are togetherthey 194 .She told him lastweek that shedoesn'twant to seehim anymore but he. He drivesto her apartmentcomplexlate eachnight and leaves notes under her windshieldwipers. As weekstum into months.And the stakes much are higher if the relationships fail. but she is Brad's third "only woman I'11 ever love" in the pastyear.Angela beginsto orchestrate someconflicts that preventher from seeingSimon.

may leavea trail of discarded she as a reminder of her frequent. of however. intense affairs. projectsat Brad may approach new relationshipashe approaches his work-with intensity and impulsivity. believing that he can be emotionallywhole only when he has a "better halfl' Men and women alike can have unrealisticexpectations aboutbeing savedby relationship.As the initial. intensestimulationof her romancehasdwindled. One afternoon. Notes: Act IV With the exceptionof Sharon. but Angela is beginningto feel a bit closedin.Angela and Simon feel compelledto behaveasthey do. to " Angela'sbehavior may reflect her insatiability.\7hen he arrives. Although Angela probablydoesn'tchart her partners. this t95 .can engender lessthan admirablebehavior.But the powerfulmyth of Prince Charming seems be an illusion with greaterappealto women.she asksSimon to stopby her house. conquests. she may have becomebored.He can't enjoy way he doesthe factsand figureson his sales' positive relationships and doesn'tgive himself time to considerhis needs-he never evaluates reality of his feelingsof love. Clearly. He tells Simon that Angela is busy and can't seehim now. Adults may behavethis The specificsymptomsand differences way for a variety of reasons.He may be accustomed makto ing quick decisionsand getting things done in a hurry. She has an ADDer's tendency to become quickly in relationships absorbed and to becomeboredby them just as quickly.He may be one of the walking of wounded.INrERrRcrNcIN AcrroN: IN THE DnrrNc Gavr ANn TUE Favnv have a wonder{ultime.all the actorsin the precedingscenes have ADD.this behaviorisn't unique to ADDers. Unfortunately he doesn'tunderstandthat he can't control the women in his life the plans.Although shegenuinely enjoyed Simon'scompanyduring the first months of the relationship. so hasher interestin it.including Simon. an ADDer. the Brad'sproblemswith his relationships may alsoresultfrom his batteredsense self.'We can only speculate aboutwhy Brad. the anotherman answers door.

She'sleft gaspingfor breath and backing awayto get somespace. In most relationshipsthere'sa subtle or nor so subtle tension betweenthe desireto be closeand a fear of that closeness. his level of intensity can suffocatehis lover. we couldn't help if it-you know how we feel about doom and gloom. The Don Jwn (or DomtaJwn!) lifestyle is initially exciting but getsold and lonely after a while. Dating relationships vulnerableto an ADDer's intensity and imare pairedcommunicationskills. Angela seems desperately to fight to protect her individuality which she thinks is threatenedby the closeness. are delicatevariation on the theme of communication and interfacing. They are danceschoreographed with intricate stepsand have greatpotential for disaster.Angela would rather loseher love than her identity. Over time even friendswho previouslyenjoyedhearingabout the escapades. you've beenpayingarrention-sorry. it's possiblethat her love for Simon would win out over her fearsof closeness. The ADDer. mined by the reputationthat precedes him. shemay be terrified that Simon will "swalIow" her individuality.You MraN I'u Nor Lezy. He drivesthe relationshipwith his needfor closeness. It's fine for disaster movies on the big screenbut it's counterproductiveto your recovery. he runs headlong towardsit. Given time.His enthusiasm sparklecan be a srrong or magnetthat initially attractshis love interesr. Angela'sinsatiabilityaside. asking stop about them.SruploOn Cnnzy?! Apart from the moral issueof hurting other people.doesn'rit? Is it time to head our to a hermir's It sounds hut? \7e11. Simon seems desperately to fight for closeness. While Angela nrns from a closerelationshipwith Simon.this callousrreatment is alsoself-destructive. Intimate relationships a sensitive. comfortablewith the t96 .But over time. shenever getsthe chance But because Simon'sintenseneedfor closeness the precarious tips balance of their relationshipmuch too quickly. Synopsis:Act IV pretty gloomy. Simon'simpulsivity may alsoplay into the demiseof his relationship with Angela. An ADDer's chance to form an intimate bond is under.

Unlesshe is good ar finding peoplewho sharehis intensity. can She may believe that the only escape route from her demandinglife is 197 .\ L-i " \ \ {t\ intensepace.may not recognize lover'sneed for a gradualprogreshis sion to closeness. he can suffera serious blow to his fragileself-worth. An ADD woman'slife of negativeexperiences reinforcethis myth.he must teach himself to control his impulses and slow down.bome of differences he'snever understood. Someadultsexperience ongoingdifficultiesin intimate relationships because they regardthem assafeports from their feelingsof inadequacy.many familiesstill condition their daughters to believethat the rolesof wife and mother will prorecrthem. In a romantic or sexualrelationship.The risk can be greaterfor the ADDer who hasfailed so many timesand in so many differentways.When he daresto revealhimself his to a lover who subsequently rejectshim.His generalized feelingsof individual risksrevealinghimselfbig time! Everyoneshares this risk which is the inherent narureof intimacy. Even with changingroles. can explodewhen he bares soul and body to a partner.INrpnrecrNc AcrroN: IN Tur Dnrnc Gavr ANn THEFnvny IN I /.

As she continued falling in and out of love. in For four years. On 198 .fulfilling one right now. more self-reliantme into it. I changedthe equationby addinga stronger. I alsocut everypicture of PrinceCharming out of my daughter's storybooks. PR: "A closefriend of mine hasbeenmarriedand divorcedthree times.I wasvery patient. I cut it loose. Though we ADDers aren't known for our reality haschangedconsiderably. My sightswere set on marryinghim. in spite he but of it! BecomingMrs. Eighteenyearsand two children later. shewould call me to describe new love. I didn't divorcehim. intenselong-distance relationship. Or. not because andme did ultimately becomeoue.\fhen he finally arrived. To saythis waspainful is putting it mildly.. Incrediblywe're still togetherand the we is still a big part of us. I ignoredhis repeated wamingsthat he wasin love with someone elseand really wasn'tinterested a long term relationshipanyway. did saveme but not in the way I had imagined. This wasthe one! I often enviedher ability her to find so many suitablematcheswhile I found myselfhung up on one from which I couldn't extricate myself. SruproOn Cnnzy?! through a weddingring and then a diaperbag. I truly believedthat he was my lifeline-l knew with my whole being that I would drown without him.After her seconddate with a new man.he came in the form of a newly divorcedman involved in a new. \7hen my lifeline tumed into a weightedanchor that dragged under me insteadof securely holding he. Beforethe ink wasdry on her divorce degree.I'm surethe only reasonmy dependency didn't totally overwhelmhim wasthat he was so incrediblyindependent." SomeADDers do just fine with intimate relationships-you may be involved in a positive. I knew that my tortured selfesteem would be healedonly when I had his name. she invariably fell in love again. I hung around waiting for my reluctant love to fit me into his busysocialcalendar.while my friend remarriedand divorced. No. . I sat waiting for my knight in shining armor.You MenNI'ruNor Ll'zy. you may be taking sometime to regroupafter a relationshipyou'vechosento end.She comesto view a partner as a lifeline or safetynet and may scaresuitorsawaywith the weight of her clinging dependency.

Here are a few pointerson successfully playingthe dating game.right? Monitor the Relationship: Spontaneityis a lovely thing but ADDers can get in trouble when freedomreigns. an ADD adult has to carefullyplan many aspects his life to make them work. An ADD adult'sdifferences can contributeto problemsin maintaining intimate relationships. for We didn't useour storiesto illustrate what will go wrong in your relationshipsbut what might go wrong. cation -we'll look at somewaysto avoid the pitfalls and improve the quality of your relationships. If you'reawareof potential hazards. to Even if you immediatelyset your sights on your new love in1s1s51-as both did on our spouses-playhard we to get for a while. If you are. you may be strugglingwith repeated failuresin your attemptsto connect with a stop and think beforeyou act. Keep your finger on the pulseof the relationship.back off 1. act and reflect. the hard ro ger approachis jusr a variation of learningto stop. This keepsthe desireand fear of closeness proper in balanceuntil the other personhas time to catch up with your willingnessto make a commitment! This approach may soundsomewhat manipulativebut it doesn'thave an evil intent.INrtRnRcrNc IN AcrroN: IN Tut DRrrNc Gavr ANo THE Fnvny the other'll need to analyzethe reasons your failures. \7hy should relationshipsbe of any different? After all. you may be able to figure going wrong. can out what's you be preparedthe next time you meet someone special.To a certain extent. underBy standingthe dynamicsof your disorder.Use the dynamicsof approachand withdrawal of behaviors your advantage.99 . Survival Tips: Act IV Play Hard to Gefi You should never utter the words. gress the relationship. Having clarifiedour message-an important part of positive communi."l love you" after just a few dates!\Uatch your partner'ssignalsfor cluesabout the pro. Let'sfaceit.If your partner seems skittish. you'll needto approachintimate relationships you do everythingelseas with carefulplanning and ongoing moniroring.think.

Enlist your friend'shelp with your vow.Remind yourselfto listen to your imaginationand conwho of with siderthis. more than emotionalwell-beingis at stake.You MrnN I'v Nor Lazv. Watch Your Impulsivity: Impulsivebehaviorcan createan assortment of problemsin an ADD adult'slife. Talk to a trustedfriend who seems be in control of his life. Dontt Lose the ttMett in '(!Vett' Be sureto maintain your usualinnew.SruproOn Cnezv?! and lighten up! \Uhen the intensity level is too high. be lessavailable for a while. Visualizea wholeLifetime restlessness a spouse you to death! Visualize giant vise systematically bores a tightening 200 . Work at your communicationskills. This will alsohelp you maintain your own identity.askquestionsto draw her out and pay attention to moodsand non-verbalclues. In a sexualrelationship. you call on when you'rehaving Your friend could becomethe sponsor trouble sticking with your program. In many sexuallyffanscan causelife threateningtrouble! In this day of serious mitted diseases.How long doeshe think a personshouldwait before having sex.This will help you keep a when you begin dating someone terests reasonable distancefrom the relationshipto prevent your total immersion in it. The challengefor an ADDer is to continual work and maintenance. your rulesfor dating behavior. sustainattention to the relationshipover the long haul. sponsor a helpsthe individual stick to his program.It's wiseto wait a while beforebeginningany sexualrelationship. Ask for his advice. You may need to make somerulesfor yourselfto prevent impulsive to decisions. Use this information to make a vow to wait x-amount of time before taking any of thesesteps.saying"l love you" or living with a new romantic interest? Ask how long he thinks a personshouldknow a lover beforemarriage. You can chasea love require Relationships interestawaywith your apparentindifference. just Stop and Think: If you'refeelingrestless thinking about suchan unbearably slow paceof a relationship. Don't swing too far in the other direction either.

Tiy to enjoy your evening of dinner and dancing without visualizing yourselfat the altar! !7atch out for your yeamingsfor Prince Charming! We know we're repeatingourselves the trap is so tempting that it can snareyou but beforeyou realizeit's happening. Motherhood wasa joyful choice rather than a retreatfrom a world I couldn't handle. Debunk the Prince Charming Myth: This one is for women who grew up believing the myth.This comment isn'r a condemnation of the weakness women. tion of strengthrather than weakness. on of As an older mother. knowing I could go back to full-time work at any time. I kept a part time job asa psychiatricnurse.particularly if of children are involved. easyto indulge it's in fantasies about marriageasan escape route. There is nothing wrong with wanting to be a wife or mother. Don'r look ar everydate as a srepping stone to marriage.I didn't know about ADD then but did have a sense that my survival and self-esteem depended my having a sense competence.I madea rule that I wouldn't get married or have children until I had found a sarisfuing way ro supportmyself. You are worth too much to throw awayyour progress of by impulsivelyhooking up with someone who is wrong for you. \Uhen the going getstough in schoolor in careers.I enjoyedthe experience wrthout losingmy se[festeem. Scene 1: Interfacing in the Family Now we'll examinethe most complexkind of relationship. The consequences an impulsive marriagecan be heavy.Justmake surethat you make rhe decisionfor the right reasons-out of choice.unh"ppy situation." Act V. I didn't suffer from doubtsabout being justa motherasmany of my peersdid.Don't do it because you feel you can't do anything elseor wanr a way out of your currenr.\7e'11 introduce 701 . KK: "'When I wasin my '20's.INrpRracrNc IN AcrroN: IN Tue DRlNc Gnur ANo THE Fnvty down and squeezing all your hard work at recoveryand rebuilding out your sense self. I think this wasbecause had madea clearand conscious I choice from a posi. It's a reality of a world that still teaches of women to dependon men for their salvation.

Jan She is more of a gentle Jan isn't particularlymoody or hyperactive.02 . shemanages do little more that surviveeachday. Having few reserves energyto gain of control of her life.She has problemsfollowing rulesand fitting in with other children. A-y.At 13. a successful estatebroker.Everyonein the family spendsthe rnoney asquickly as he can earn it.The family includesJan. chronic underachiever. withdrawn alwaysa bit afraidof him.not even attempting to hide her low opinion of her mother. A*y and her dad have an explosiverelationshipsincethey both regularly fly off the handle.Each of the five membersof the family has ADD although eachhasslightly different problemsassociated with it.SruproOn Cnazy?! you to the Bakerfamily to help us explorethe unique issues family inter' of actions. She and her mom don't arguea lot but they have a tenuousrelationship. Tom hyperactive Tom. doesn'tmake He waves.Amy shares dad'ssymptoms moodiness.He struggles school and receives in only mediocregrades despite putting in long hoursdoing homework. Zacharyand Jennifer. He eamsa ongoing financial crises. her of impulsivity and hyperactivity. She has alwaysbeen a maverick. Tom has a Jeckleand Hyde personalitythat changesat the drop of a hat.Junand the children are loving man to an irritable.You MEaNI'r'. space cadet. She is so overwhelmedby the demands life that she of just lets them washover her. Zachary Ten yearold Zacharyis quiet and rather passive. He flips back and forth from an enthusiastic. fungrouch. She'scontinually in trouble at home and at school. real good living but the family experiences and irritable.He's anxiousmost of the time ?. She can't understandwhy Mom is so wishy-washy about everything.Tom and their three biologicalchildren. to Amy The oldestdaughterA-y.r Nor Lnzy. she's becomingincreasingly extremelyrestless.A*y treatsJan with contempt. refusing to take her Ritalin and hangingout with a groupof kids who take drugs. is an extremelybright.She has trouble organizing householdand disciplining the the children.

Are you ready? 1 + 1> 7 7 + l=4 Z + 7= ll plus 'We're not going to tell you quite yet what these equations mean. They work so hard at just surviving that they don't have time to worry about their youngest child. Her teachers assume that shejust isn't very bright. entertainingher peersand keepingher teachers busylaughingthat they ignoreher difficulties so with schoolwork. whelmedby the detailsof her life. cartwheelingor dancing around the housemuch of the time.severeallergies and frequentstomachaches. So Tacharystruggles alongwithout the educational help he needs. would like you to consider we thesenew math facts. Her grades even worsethan her brother's. no are but one getson her caseabout it. He'sshy and has trouble making friends. Scene 1 Marriageand child rearingpresentall the challenges we've already discussed then some!The intricacy of the danceof family relationand shipsis dramaticallymore complexthan that of groups. but 203 . She'sfairly of hyperactive doesn'tdisplaythe irritability and moodiness her but of fatheror sister. Notes: Act V. They place few demands her. Th"y figurethat at leastthey have one normal child even if she isn't anv smarterthan the rest of their kids.In this regard. she'sa delightful child on with a sunny personalityand an engagingsense humor.She channelssomeof her excess energyinto gymnastics. Zacharywasevaluated and diagnosed with multiple leaming disabilities and ADD. friendships or romantic interactions. His psychologist recommended intensivetutoring but the family never has enoughextra money to hire anyone. At 8 yearsold. Jennifer Jenniferis the baby of the family and her parenrsrreat her that way.INrpnrncrNc IN AcrroN: IN TUE DarrNc GaurEANo THp FRvrr-y and has a number of health problemsincluding asthma. At schoolshehasbecomethe class clown. Her parentsare busyarguingwith each other and with A*y.Jan has taken on the job but can't do it with any regularitybecause she'sso over.

As soonastwo individualsbecomealegalnr. Further complicatingthe relationshipof a couple.Sort of.SruprnOn Cnezv?! you're the answers correct.You MEnNI'u Nor Lnzv. Virtually all parents. Tower of Strength.Janloved the spontaneityof impulsivetrips to the beach and phone callsat 3:00 etc.Expert will Lover.the relationship can changeunpredictably. ruleschangeand the the complexity and intensity of the relationship increasewhether or not either hasADD.If we add a spouse with ADD to the picture. a ?.Communications are colored with memories. ber to put gasin the car and agree When A*y wasbom in the first yearof their marriage. Jan and Tom weredelightedto find eachother and had an exciting courtship. . Therapist.It depends the questions are on asking. is the history they have shared.04 .m. . There are often unrealisticexpectations that the spouse fulfill the rolesof Saviot Mother.The transformationthey experiencedis certainly not unique to ADDers. placid baby.BestFriend.both good and bad. .sayit's impossible imagine to the magnitudeof the changesthat occur with the birth of a child. Father. This brings us back to the answers our equations.even thosewho carefullyplan their families.particularlyastime goeson. Even if Amy had been a calm. they seemed to becometotally different people. An innocent remark can sparkan argumentabout a pasthurt or unresolvedconflict that had an impact on the relationship.our couplewould have experienced transformationin their relationship.They are correct in if we askthe following questions: plus Wlwt doesone spouse one spouse eqtal? does coupleplusonechildequalt one \Y'/hat V{hat doesonecoupleplustwo childreneqtal? that their problemsresultedfrom babyAmy's Jan and Tom assumed constantcrying. A difficult infant can definitely add stress a relationto ship.\fe'll get back to this in a few paragraphs. Tom loved havingJan help him rememwith his opinions.

INrERrRcrNcIN AcrroN: IN TUE DRrrNc GnuE ANo Tup Favny With the addition of eachchild.wife and first child husband. first and secondchild Synopsis: Act V Scene1 If computerprogrammers think it's difficult to inrerfacean IBM" and a Macintosh]' we wonderwhat they would think about interfacinga family unit. The extra work doesn'rhave nearly asmuch to do with extra laundryor meal preparationasit doeswith an explodingnumber of relationships. first and secondchild husband. wife.05 . They would have to programindividual personalities interto facewith the multiple relationships amongfamily members. Let'slook at what happens the number of relationto shipswhen you add children to a family: The Couple = husbandand wife (plus their individual + s. first and secondchild wife.but geomerrically. This may be why parenrs often saya secondchild addsmore than just double the work of an only child. The complicarions grow not arithmetically.llective "baggage") The Couple+One Child = husbandand wife husbandand child wife and child husband. The dyad of husbandand wife altersthe one:onerelationshipof pre-maffiage days 7.wife and child The Couple+Two Children = husbandand wife husbandand first child husbandand secondchild wife and first child wife and secondchild first and secondchild husband. the relationships betweenand among family members becomeincreasingly complicated. wife and secondchlld husband.

+zv. In a family like the Bakerswhere severalpeoplehave the disorder.Many adoptiveparentscan attestto this. you'recertainlynot alone! Many peoplehave children because their religiousor family script teaches them to. The Job of Parenting: ADD adultshave strengthsand weaknesses when it comesto parenting. Since ADD tendsto run in dramaticallyaltersthe dimensionsof the family unit and exponentially ups the ante aschildren are bom. What if you alreadyhad children beforeyou knew anything about ADD? you never considered What if having a family is what you do because not having one?Well. Doesthis mean that the equation of ADD adult(s) + children = disasterl Absolutely not! It only meansthat the stakesmay be higher and the pitfalls deeperand more treacherous.A typical balancesheetfor an ADD parent may look somethinglike this: 206 . You will need to examineyour ADD balance sheetand consider how it fits with parentingand the math of family relationships. SruproOn Cnezv?! even beforechildren add to the complexity of interpersonal relationships. but to help you think about someimportant issues. RaisingADD children is a challengingjob that taxesthe resources of non-ADD parents. You may be a wonderful parent! ADDers are lively people.we hope the discussion help you clarifii will and better understandthis dimension of your life. What if you would have loved to plan your family better but medicalscience failed and you ended up with an unplanned pregnancy? Our goal isn't to establishourselves critics of your religiousprinciples as or contraceptivepractices. If you already have children.Many can respondto the challenges of child rearing with incredible enthusiasmand avoid the pitfalls by leapingenergetically over theml A decisionasimportant aswhether to bring a new human being into this world-into your world-must be made verycarefully.l Planning this areaof your life may be THE most important job you have.You MpnNI'v Nor L.You must stop and think about your balancesheetof strengths and weaknesses.the potential for discordand communication breakdownis enormous.

It's like guiding an out of . You have insight unavailableto your non-ADD peers. In somerespecrs will your own ADD uniquely. to exciting. Ann. angry personcamefrom. \7e submit that when ADD is an issue. parenting becomes joumey.ontrol rocket a more treacherous 707 .You might look at your reflection in a mirror and wonder where the mean. The addednoiseand stress having childr"n -"y'push butronsthat of weren't pushedbefore. you might take advantage the wonderful "imma. Parenting-has been compared a scary.!7ith your children in tow.You may be unable to provide the carefulguidance your ADD child needs. qualifiesyou asa provider of specialhandling. you can giggle. however. On the other m_ight becomea parent who yells a lot or is grouchy much of the time.. Their highstrungtemperaments requirespecialhandling.Your child's personalityand the interrelated profiles of you. and your offspringall have impacts. your spouse. unpredictable roller coasterride. yo.You might effectively useyour compassion open-mindedness roll with the inevitable and to punchesof parenring. of turity" everyoneusedto criticize.INrrRrncrNc AcrroN: IN THEDRrrNcGnur ANo TnEFRvrr-y lN SrnnNcrHS active creative open-minded compassionate senseof wonder curious enthusiastic passionate WnexNEssES impatient moody intolerant of noise and chaos careless with details shakycommunicationskills limited capacityfor work + srress easilybored impulsive disorganized good sense humor of How doesthis balancesheetplay out when you becomea parent?It's hard to saywith certainty. haven'r if yet achieveda workablebalancein your life.climb on the monkey barsand sing aloud in the grocerysrore without questionable looksfrom other people. Your effectiveness a parentwill be testedby the genericprobability as that one or more of your children are likely ro may still require too much nurturing for yourself.

Rather.carefulspacingallowsyou to absorbthe impact If of eachchild on your capacityto handle the additionaldemands.SruptoOn Cnazv?! ship at the speed light towardsan unknown destinationlIs this necesof and sarilyso bad? Justthink of all the teacherconferences emergency room visits our parentswould never have madeif it hadn't beenfor usl \7hat would they have done with all that extra timelJust think how boring the world would be without us. This has nothing to do with the psychologyof spacingas it affectsa child's adjustment. Your parents probablycomplainedso often about your poor planning and teachers that the very word makesyou uncomfortable. 208 . '!7e Can we leam any lessons from this surveyof the family dimension? think the most important one is the need for planning. Survival Tips: Act V.The job of parentingis too important to leaveto chance. it's probably the singularlymost important thing you shoulddo for yourself. Scene 1 Spacing of Children: Carefully considerthe spacingof your children.You MEnNI'v Nor Lnzv.Use the following considerations a frameas work for your "PlannedParenting".As much asyou may dislike planning.

actions.hard-earned on knowledgeabout overcomingobstacles.can you both emotionallyhandle the secondshift of parenting? not. He may needamongother services. Scene 2: Interfacing in the Family In the following scenes we'll offer a glimpseof the Baker family's inter. Your children can become enterprising. General Strategies: What resources availableto lighten rhe load? are Are there relativesliving nearbywho arewilling to help?Can you reduce your financial obligations Can you organize work load so eachpar? the ent can have periodicbreaks? lUhen you add children ro your won't have an option in this regard. Act V. tutoring. You'll be able to pass to your children your valuable. can you survivefinancially if one parIf ent has only a part time job or staysat homeI Of courseif you're a singleparent. Realistic Assessment of Effort and Money: Do your homework. you needto be even more ruthless aboutsimplifuingit to maintain balance.INrERrRcrNcIN AcrroN: IN Tup DRrrNc GnuE ANo THr Favny you have several children in the space a few years. Make sureyou are handling what's aireadyon your plate beforeyou dish up another serving. you'll need to think about the addedexpenses may incur.But when ADD is part of the financial picture. Spacingbuysyou rhe time you beyond need to make a wisedecision. of you may be pushed your limits beforeyou know it. speech therapy. Post This List and Reread it at Frequent Intenzals: Each time you consideradding a child to your family.They are illustrativeof the complexityof family relationships when ADD is addedto the mix. Everyoneknows that children are ex. Personal and Financial Resources: If you and your spouse wanr ro continue full-time employment. Your child may need you extrahelp. go back over this lisr. about the work and money it takesto raisechildren. Ask other parents.especially parentsof ADD children.If you and your parrner plan carefullyrlour family relationshipscan be satisfyingonesthat add to the quality of your life. 209 . pensive. productiveadults. psychological medicine or counseling.

the family is to live peacefully If together. Families who live under the sameroof shareboth physicaland emotional spaces. Jennifer. becomes he increasingly exasperated her seeming disinterest. Jennifer suddenlyappears out of nowhere to give her startledparentsbearhugs. Amy and Zachary room and pounceson the bed to give Jenniferrushesinto her sister's A*y a morning kiss. The Bakerfamily has an extra layerof sharedADD disabilitiesthat makesthis balancingact particularly difflcult. When his raisedvoice finally elicitsJan'srequestto "wait a minute". Notes: Act V Scene 2 The Bakerfamily includesfive peoplewhoseindividual deficitscollecAll tively combine to create Chaos theCul-de-Sac. families share on someof their problems-balancing the rights of individual members with the needsof the largerfamily unit. who is a moming person. drinking his first cup of Tom sitsbleary-eyed the breakfast coffeeand trying to read the newspaper.A-y headsdown the hall for a showerand lets loosea string of epithetswhen Zacharywalks in to brushhis teeth. Jan and Jennifer at table. Tom. Tom and Zachary Jan is tutoring Zachary at the dining room table.eachmemberhas to of have his fair shareof both. Now fully awake. Jan testily repliesthat if he'd been listeninghe would know that she'sawareof that fact.SruprpOn Cnnzv?! Jan. When she doesn't by respond. Tom walks in and startsto tell her someexciting news about work. Jan day.She is reprimanded for being so rough and slinks out of the room wondering why her mom and dad rejectedher affection. shoves her off the bed and feelsonly mildly remorsefulwhen Jennifer scrapes her knee on the way down.A-y who is just beginning to wak€ rp. he leavesthe room in a huff.You MpaNI'u Nor Lnzv. chats to him non-stop and reminds him that it's garbage Tom finally looks up from his paperand announcesthat the garbage needsto be taken out. Each of the Bakershas a poor sense physicaland emotional boundaries and impulsivelyinvadeseachother's zrc .

The experienceof living in this kind of family is feeling intruded upon and overwhelmed. they bump. Thesenon-verbalsignsare the invisible circlesthat peopledraw around their bodiesfor privacy and protection. ttKeep Outtt is a fairly clearstatement A closeddoor or a sign that says.The circle narrowsto encourage a lover or a beloved child to get closeand widens to keep the sffangeror you dislike.Lacking theseskills.What can an ADD family such asthe Baker'sdo to make its home more of a haven for the peoplewho live there?The first order of business to seea family therapist. the circle sometimesinexplimessage: cably widenswhen he can't stand to be touched or to allow anyone in his immediatevicinitv. I Synopsis: Act V Scene 2 Awareness and respectfor theseinvisible circlesrequiresgood nonof verbalcommunicationskills. of a desirefor privacy.the Bakersimpulsively physicalspaces. jostle and literally stepon eachother'stoesasthey repeatedly missboth obvious for and subtle requests space. each personhas a unique need for space. Each personalsohas an inability to prevent his needsfrom colliding with the needsof everybodyelse." These circles aren't fixed in time and space. trounceon eachother'sfeelingsand invadepersonal Since the whole family has a safedistance. Most ADD familiesexperience somedegree difficulty in their interof actions. you'reangryor dbpressed. Acting on autopilot most of the time.Privacyis ashard to come by in this family aspeaceand quiet are.The circlesdefine the perimeter "Don't come any closerthan of personalspaceand convey the message: the circle I have drawn around me. is 7tr .Most of us understandits obvioussignificancebut what about the subtle rrorr-Verbal requests privacy?Many of us for I with ADD misreadthese"signs". circumstances and relationship to the other person.INrrnracrNcIN AcrroN: IN THEDarwc GnuEANo THr Fnvny territory. The diameter of your own circle constantly changesaccordingto your mood. someone If the circle may becomehuge even for loved onesasyou sendout the ttStay Awaytl For an ADDer.

712 . that's wonderful. Scene2 Creating Living Space Large Enough for the People Who Share It When we talk about living space. know we're showing our agesmany peopleunder 35 have never even playedwith one! Anyway.put it around you to demonstrate your personalcircle.There'sa fair amount of confusionashula hoops start bumping into each other. SruproOn Cnazyl! This family has been in trouble for a long time. The following discussion includesspecificsuggestionsfor improving communication and managingboundary issues. The therapist'sjob is to help the family system becomehealthier so it can better meet the needsof each member. There are severaltechniquesyou can useto supportand build your family system. Ask eachfamily memberto picture himself surroundedby his own personalhoop. '!7e can't emphasize enough that treating a troubled family is not a doit-yourselfenterprise!A Band-Aid approachmay remporarilyslow down the bleeding but it won't stop the hemorrhage!If your family is really in trouble. get professional help ASAP! If your family is basicallyokay and needsonly minor adjustments. if you have a hula hoop lying around. The room suddenlystartsto shrink in sizeaspeople and hula hoops begin to take up space. Survival Tips: Act V. Teach Respect for Boundary Needs: Suggest that your family vis'We ualizea boundaryas a hula hoop. Each family membershould put rhis imagein his memory bank for future reference. the family is too stressed chaotic to pro. you increase we'renot suggesting '!fe'rethat the squarefootageof your houseor apartment! talking about carefullydesigningsufficientemotional living spaceso that family memberscan coexistwith relativeharmony. everyonestartsto move around in the space.You MEnNI'v Nor Ltzy. They need an objective outsiderto analyzeand balancethe needsof the family asa unit with the individual needsof family members. and vide the necessary structureand nurturing.Right now.The next time he startsto intrude on someoneelse. As the inevitable happens.

Look. o occupationof a personal h. and needsa private retreat-a placethat is off-limits to everyone to Lunch" or "TemporaryShutdown" signscan indicate current "Out zone.urANo THr Fevllv he may be able to call up the hula hoop imagein his mind. the children often usetheii bedroomsasescapes the demandsof the family. ADD families need to establishwritten rulesregardingthe boundaries of privacy. "Seeing" Dad in a hula hoop might just be enoughto makejunior Stop. there are The den may "belong" to the unwritten rulesregardingprivate space. . .and Laugh! Design Rest and Relaxation Zones: In many families.q. Similarly.Each memberof the family should have his own designated could be the balcony. tuavcff zt3 9aoFo .INrrRrncrNc IN AsrroN: IN THr DRrtNc G.In a small apartment.Each family memberhas a right to privacy else. parents-the children understandthat this spaceis Mom and Dad's from i"tr""t.the hall or zone.this space half of a sharedbedroom. Listen.

Someof thesesuggestions may be helpful: rSet Aside Speciftc Time Periods for Quiet when the TV should be tumed off and the answeringmachine tumed on. olmpose a Stop-Look/listen-Speak 'lUhen Procedure for all commu. If someoneis doing somethingthat requiresconcentration. One option is to establisha rule that TV or stereousersmust useearphones.Require Each Family Member. an If zr4 .The television and stereoshould be in an areawith a door that can be closed. oDetermine What Constitutes an Emergency.You MrnN I'u Nor Lnzy. such asreading or paying bills. to Ask Per. \Uhen he makesthe request. Rules for Communication and Respect for Boundaries: You can'r take anything for grantedin an ADD family! You need to designstructured rulesto protect the emotional and physicalcirclesof family mem.If someonedoesn'twant to be touched. You may need to discuss for and make a list of real and perceivedemergency situations.SruprnOn Cnazyl! This provision for down timeis essentialto forestall the negativebehaviors of frustration. oObsenze a Period of Silence when the noise level is too high or emotions are getting out of control. mission beforeborrowing anything from someoneelse. a conversationis in progress. Develop a family schedulewith designated times for studyingor other quiet pursuitsas well astimes to be togetherasa group. The samerules apply about being touched.other family membersshouldn't talk to him or expect a response. the personenteringthe room must wait until he'sinvited to join in. An untied shoestring can be an emergency an ADD child. bers. A soundproof room for noisy equipment would be ideal but most homes don't have this luxury. nication betweenfamily members. Each personhas a right to state his need for space.studyingor resting. he shouldn't be interrupted exceprfor an emergency.his wishesmusr be respected. . Includittg Parents. Designated QuietZones: You should also designate specificquiet zonesin your home asplacesfor reading. This areashould alsobe asfar awayaspossiblefrom the quiet zones.Insist that everyone refer to the list beforeintemrpting a conversationin progress.

poor sport. All requests stop teasingmustbe joke shouldn'tbe labeleda party pooperor The butt of the respected.Since impulsiveADD family often fail to notice the discomfortof others. zt5 .Teasingcan feel like quickly escalate to torture and must not be permitted.On the run conversations rude and miscommunication.Prohibit All "On The Run" Conversations. if family membershave to strain to hear. attention by gently tapping him on the shouldet wait Get the person's and then excuseyourselfbeforeyou begin to talk. and messages missthe intended meaning. A buzzingintercom everyfive minutes can be as annoying asa bellowingvoice! . oSet Up a Message Center in a prominent place. ments that the houseis buming down! Yelling up the stairsor shouting from another room to find someoneis a no-no. First. Preferably.INrERrRctNc IN AcnoN: IN THe Detnc Gnue ANo THe FRutlv everyoneshould abideby the following rules. The intended recipient of this one-wayconversationhas to around listen to a programthat fadesin and out or follow the speaker contribute to are on his travels.their teasingcan members into perceivedfull-scaleattacks. The best location is near a phone with an answeringmachine. There are two reasons for this. ouse Intercoms.'s not's rude! Yelling upstairsto ger someoneto come down is a lot like calling the dog-and it feels like it too. for a response . Thlking to someone while you rush to finish a task. ADDer can have enoughtrouble without the addedburden of trying to messages sendingand receiving talk to someonein another room. a bulletin board. oEnforce a Rule to Prqhibit Unwanted Teasing or Joking about ADDers often read the literal meaning of individual family it. interruption is necessary. they will freAn quently misinterpretthe message.a method for filing mail and important should include papers. If a joke hurts someone.a large calendarand an ample supplyof paper and pens. isn't conducive to effective communication.Be carefulnot to over.Prohibit All Long Distance Conversations except for announce. The kitchen may be a good place for this as it's often the center of family activities. You might want to invest in someintercomsto communicatewith people in other parts of the house. The center the spaceshould have a counter or deskfor a writing surface.

It's similar to what happensto the numberof relationships when 2r6 .Beforemaking any plans.You MeaNI'u Nor Llzy.the effectof workloador srress snowballs. The last readerwill know that everyhe one elsehasseenthe note and that he shouldremoveit from the board. can reachthe bulletin ADD child might forgetto menrion rhar Dad is stranded with a flat tire and Sisteris in the emergency room with a broken arm! A disorganized ADD family can truly benefit from a structured systemthat tracksfamily messages appointments. and oContinually Monitor Your Family's Emotional Tiemperature: Monitoring your personal stress level is important. but in your excitable. someone If addsa generalmessage the board.Otherwise. sage centerphone. As eachpersonin tum readsthe message. the mes. of possible. Besides looking for postedmessages. shouldremoveit from the board. including sma[ children. white boardmay be a goodbackdrop and A to the colorednotes.everyoneshouldcheck the message center's mastercalendar for important family dates.Phonecallsshouldbe addedto the board and the tape should be rewound. Encourage family members make a habit of checkingthe message to center several times a day and everytime they comehome. telephonecallsshouldbe handledat or switchedro. how. Eachfamily membercan have a personalized color that makesit easy to p_ost retrievemessages.Be surethat everyone. ever. SruproOn Cnezy?! The bulletin board needsto be sufficiently largeto provide a specific section for each family member and one for the whole family. Keep extra coloredpapertacked in eachsectionor usecolor posr-it p"ds. to he shouldinitial it at the bottom. Messages is for anyrhing the whole family needsto area read. The General. personneedsto check his each mail slot and listen to the answering machine. Make a rule that everymessage must include the 'Whenever signature the personwho postedit. shouldadd his initials. the date and the time.The rest of the board should be divided into secrionsfor individual family members.roller'coaster ADD family.This will he reducevisual clutter and improve the odds that the family won't overlook postedmessages. As soon as someone readsa message. 'We're not suggesting that familiesdo all their communicatingby way of the message center! Putting things in writing can a big help.

\fe'd like to write another These chaptersjust scratchthe surface. to be a successful in the because subjectis too complicatedto address a few sentences. level of each personhas such a profound effect on the Because stress the family.Grandparents. The fight that eruptsputs everyonein the family on edgeand before long the housefeelslike a war zone. In a matter of minutes..INrERrnctNc IN AcrtoN: IN TUE DRrtNc GnvE ANo THE Faltlt-v you add new family members:7+1is greaterthan 3. If an individual family member is pushinghimself too hard and it feelsirritable asa consequence. on exclusively ADD family relationships. will all have an impact on the dynamicsof your family. the stress and down-time. it's important to monitor the demandson the family as a whole.Their supportor lack of supportcan be a powerful influence on your efforts '!7e can't examine this issuein depth ADD family.we want to at leastmention the wider in-laws.aunts. This is how it happens.uncles.If the makesrelaxation family asa whole is trying to do too much. 7r7 . family circle-the extendedfamily. Beforewe closethis chapter.impossible. etc. isn't just an individual matter.we'll in the unique revisit the Baker family to examine somemanagementissues to the functioning of the family. Mom arrivesan hour later in a bad mood after a difficult day at work.Mom and the hyperactivechild are at each other'sthroats as the child's of noise and activity irritate a mother who has no reserves patience.With family relationshipsasthe backdrop.One of the children comeshome after a bad day at school and is bouncing o{f the walls. book that focuses we're going to address But there are someother important family issues next chapter.

we don't presumeto be expertsin thesefields.It's a system multiple interpersonal rights.If the description of the Bakers. however. \7e do. Since we are neither sociologists family you have to resignyourselfto being part of the neighborhood? there anything you can realisticallydo to Is \Ue're going to take take on make your family life more manageable? the role of the Baker family's therapist to find someanswers. each family member to communicateher own version of the Baker FamilySrory. we useit humbly asa reflection of our We of not lifetime experiences.CHaprEn 11 Mania Mealtime From Ordeals: toOutins Discord How-To'sDecreasing of Tn. zI8 . family is a microcosmof society. Our previousvisit with them provideda glimpseof a family living in your family in you recognize the sitcomChaoson theCul-de-Sac. Our experiences we'resureyourscould too. can't give we you all the answers aboutADD familiesbecause don't have them! and the collective experiences We can sharesomeof our observations of other ADDers and their families. asa measure our expertise. \7hen we usethe word expert. we'll encourage To begin unravellingthe family'scomplexproblems.It includesindividual and group of and rules. responsibilities relationships that must be carefullymanaged. Hundredsof sociologicalstudieshave exploredthe entity of the family nor and how it functions.This sharingwill have to happen over time and within of an atmosphere mutual support. The ADD Families of expertsin two specificareas: considerourselves could fill volumesas Kelly/Pentz and Ramundo.\7e'll rejoin the Bakerfamily to help us do this.

I work harder in school than anybodyI know but I still get I'm mostly C's. The angry words are out of my mouth beforeI know it. Jan doesn'tseemto know I exist unlessshe's busywith something. \Uhen I get home.I get so confused can't think straight. work hard to take care of the houseand I family but I never have anything to show for it. It's hard enoughto talk when I'm feeling I calm. Zachary. Sometimes wish I weredead. My dad getsimpatient with me because not good at to sportsand I won't stick up for myself.-r. I'm supposed be strong-the man of I the family-but sometimes feel asthough I'm just barelyhanging on. She'salways me in the eye and never paysattention to me when I try to talk to her. Work just takesit out of me.r Orrrsc ORnpnLs: To Fnou MEnr- most of the time. people.have terrible moodsand can't seemto get it togetherto do anything worthwhile. The place is alwaysa messand we never seemto have a moment of peace.I make fun of him for being a wimp but he's a nicer person I than I am.I'm mean. I know I angryand worthless Tbm: "I feel helpless. fighting to swim to the surface never getting there.I get so mad sometimes just want to yell at them to shut up but I can't get the wordsout. I don't know how to protect the I myself. I can't stand it when peopleyell because noisehur$ me.Even when my family is laughingor joking. thinks I'm just a rotten kid but they have no idea Amy: "Everybody really feel.but I just can't seemto losemy tempertoo much and it hurts help it. I'm alwayswaiting for somethingterrible to happen -for Dad or Amy to start a big screaming match." Zachary: "l hate the fighting at my house. probablywon't make it to collegeand I'm not fast enoughto I I Sometimes wish I were more like do somethinglike waitressing.Mom seems like me better but 7t9 ." it. I feel cringing belonely too.Hov-To's Op DpcnrnstNc DtscoRo TruEMa:. I don't have to any energyleft for my family. I'm scared that I'll never be able to make it asa grownhow I but up. I never seemto but get anything accomplished.Tom and Amy are alwaysyelling and putting me down.I feel like a dope. I'm scaredall the time. I know I'm a "smartass" that'sjust a cover-up.She doesn'tlook causeI got mad. I probablydeserve I'm pretty useless. I worry that I can't keep pretendingI'm in control. \fhen I get upset. Everyoneis alwaysfighting. I'm a failure." Jan: "I feel as if I'm under water all the time.No matter what I do. What am I going to do when I finish high schooll With my grades.

Sit down. doing other "stuff or fighting. . Jennifer. Jennifer addsto the generaldiscordand busyness the family meal by jumping of zz0 ..\7e can't discuss them all but we can examine two that aie illustrativeof several fairly common problemsin an ADD familyMeabimeMania and Outing Ordeals.. Mealtime Mania It's Mealtime Mania at the Bakerhouse.Amy and Tom who are both sensitiveto noiseand touch. Familieswho deal with the dynamicsof ADD facenumerouschallenges every day. Tom and Amy don't directly complain about the noisebut we can observetheir sensitivitiesto it. I'd rather be outsideplaying. jump up and beg for food throughout the meaf.They alsohave someawareness the to of impact of their yelling on orher family members and don'r feel verv good about it. I wish it wasmore peacefular my house. Jennifer. Everybody's alwaystelling me. I know I she so cause lot of trouble because hear mom and dad fighting all the rime a I about my doctor bills.Stopfalling off your chair.You MEeNI'r. They do saythat ir's roo bad I don't g. My teichershake me be quiet and sit in my searunril I want to jump right out of my skin!" It's obviousthat nobody in this family is happywith the way things are going! There'sone common thread that weavesthrough everyone's storyin the Bakerfamily: the noiseand emotionallevelsaretoo intense.t for my talking because soundso smart. I hate ro even askher because seems busyand tired most of the time..Jennifer. I don't think my family even notices I'm there. My mom and dad don't even seemto care when I bring home D's on my papers. Their hot tempersescalate direct in response sensoryintrusions. Most of the time. . Be quiet. I don'r like going to school either.SruproOn Cnqzvl! never has enoughtime to help me with schoolwork.I like it when my family tells jokesbur a lot of timespeopleyell and get in fights.I can'r stand to sit there all that time.1Nor Lxzy.I wish they would *"tih n I danceand do gymnastics but they're too busytalking.t gt"d. constantlyyell at the dogsand push them awaybut do little elseto train them. There areseveral poorly trained dogswho bark. I hate the yelling." at hate dinnertime because Jennifer: "lt's crazy my house!I especially it takestoo long.

Invariably. one-wayconversations on asAmy. Tom and Jennifer talk non-stop to no one in particular. Zachary quietly fadesinto the woodwork. or food that took longer to cook than the rest of the meal. the party will rapidly and disastrously change. he likes to becomea kid again.telling and food fights. dinnertime wandering Jan rarelysitsdown at the table.The mood of the gatheringcan changeabruptlyif either steppingon of them becomes annoyed with the noisiness by someone or their toes.They're alwaysa little nervousthough. Both Tom and Amy tend to hear only half of what is saidand to misinterpretthe other half. the instigatorsof much of the rowdiness. their angerquickly generalizes everyoneelsein the yell at Jan for burning part of the dinner. 72l . at family.trying to eat his dinner without getting a stomachacheand hoping that a big fight doesn'tbreakout. The anticipatedknock-down.drag-outfight betweenTom and Amy is at a common occurrence somepoint in the meal. knowing that when things get out of hand.Both have hair trigger temperscoupledwith foot in mouth disease.Jan silly jokesand instigatinganimal noisecontests and Zacharydon't participate very much but they laugh and enjoy the anticsof the othersduring theseh"ppy times.She spends napkins absent-mindedly. They frequently Jennifer for leaping around like a frog and at Zacharyfor sitting like a bump on a 1og. Zacharyand Jan try to follow but the conversation quickly tune out asthey becomeoverwhelmed by the chaos. go Three separate. He knows that his mother won't be much help in avertingthe battle that will inevitably ensuebetweenhis father and sister. She fetchesthe forgotten items of silverware. This lethal combinaremarksthat iion meansthaieach of them frequentlymakescareless touch off an explosion in the other.MrruTrus MaNn OurrNc To ORorRLs: How-To's DrcnensrNc Fnou Or DrscoRo up and down to danceor tum cartwheels. A-y.They know that Tom atmosphere and Amy. Sometimes chaosis fun with lots of joking and fooling around.Anty stompsoff beforethe meal is over sinceshehasbeengroundedto her room "for the rest of her life". unpredictable are and irritable. to Easilyenraged. the \7hen Tom'sin a good mood.

thesebehaviors conrribureto the family chaosand stress level.Having fewerchildren probablywould have helped. Notes: Mealtime Mania With their difficult remperaments.supportand understanding-but there doesn'tseem to be enoughto go around. A-y and Tom seemto dominate the picture in the Baker family. It isn't too late. The Bakerfamily is a groupof related individualswho have compelling needsfor structure. Jennifercontributesto the noiseand chaoslevel with her clowning and hyperactivity. calm. there isn't anyoneavailableto teach her how to do it.As family tensionescalates. With his short fusedtemper.for the family to make someimportant changesto reducethe chaosand tum the volume down. and disengages herselffrom the family. If Mealtime Mania seems be a wav of life for to 7ZZ . A-y desperately needsfirm. Tom getsburned out easily. Individually and collectively. After a day at work. If you plug the individual behaviorsinto a chart of family interacrions.You MrnN I'v Nor Lnzy.Unfortunately.SruproOn Cnazy?! Zacharyfeelssick to his stomachand can't eat and Jennifer dances aroundat a manic pace. you can understandhow things get so out of hand for the Bakers. Tom getsmore stressed as out the burdenof disciplinefalls on him. But they're not singularlyresponsible for the impaired family interactions. he can do little but collapse. but through no fault of his own.She must leam to take responsibility for her behavior. structureddisciplinebut doesn'tget it. It's not that Tom is a sexist pig-he and Jan had agreed the division of labor when shequit her on job to stayhome. however.Sometimes atmosphere dinner isn't as the at much chaotic as it is deadlysilent and chilling with everyonebrooding and poisoningthe environmentwith silent misery. Zacharydoesn'racrivelybother anybody. becomes increasingly more disorganized J".Each of the family membershas shakycommunication skills and a limited capacityfor stress and stimulation.but it's too late for that option. puts greatdemands family financial and emoon tional resources. He feelsincreasingly angryat Jan'sfailure to take chargeof the houseand children.he's ill-equippedto handle it.

There is to week. Make a "No Arguments at the Dinner Thble" Rule: Conflict isn't all bad but mealtimebattlesaren't very goodfor the digestive at Argumentsshouldbe shelvedand resumed a designated system! time and placefor discussion. think about theseideasand considertrying them. Plan a Weekly "Work Detail" Ahead of Time: This should include for a list of individual responsibilities meal preparationand settingand shouldrotate thesejobs from week clearingthe table.Preplanningeliminates nothing more chaotic than an ADD family trying to work together pitch in without the direcrion of a plan! \fhen other family members wanderto help. the cook is free to join the family insteadof aimlessly follow a rule that no ing around fetching things. Maintain Order by Establishing Struchrre: Meals should have a structurefor dinner conversation. boot camp? place you can let your hair down and be yourselftLettingyour hair else's down is fine as longas Jou don't droPit in someone foodt In families with ADDers. The family dogsshouldbe trained to stay awayfrom the dinner table or should be kept in another room the until the meal is over. signals if will be observed anyone.Family members much last minute confusion.the machineshouldbe turned on or the phone shouldbe taken answering off the hook. Make a family rule that a moment of silence for child.including the youngest less noise.How-To's Or DrcnrnstNcDtscoRo Fnov Mrru Trur MnNraTo Ourrxc ORoERLs: your family. The televisionor radio shouldbe tumed off and the newspapershouldbe put in anotherroom. The family should one sitsdown to eat until the meal is on the table. will disintegrate 773 . there is a goodpossibilitythat letting one'shair down into a family free-for-a11. for one of its dogs. family might considerfinding a new home Establish a Family Signal: The signal cueseveryonethat the noise level is getting too high.Structure.ordercarefullydesigned What happenedto the idea of home asthe what is this.To further minimize the extra distractions. Survival Tips for Decreasing Discord Reduce or Eliminate LJnnecessaryDistractions3 During meals.

sheshouldhave permission leavethe table.the disadvantages a family meal can ourweighthe advantages. Change the Rules: If someone having a difficult day or is particuis larly hyperactive.Just to be sureto have an established procedure requests missfamily meals. It can help family members asidethe stresses the day.however.recite a poem or sing s?y a song.concenrrate put of on being with eachother and becomeawareof the comforrable haven of home. The ritual can be anything. the mixture can be combustible! zz4 . for to If All Else Fails. The idea is to imposestructureso family members take turns and learn to listen to eachother.Tiy a "Show and Tel[" time for sharinganecdores telling or jokes. Eliminate Family Meals: They are a lovely convention and can help familiesconnecr.You MreN I'u Nor LAZy. The ritual signals the beginningof special. sharedfamily time. of \7hen temperamental characteristics come togetherin a small space.Beginyour meal with word games. grace.In an ADD family. SruproOn Cnazy?l Structureand order can take the form of a family ritual or tradition. \7hen the family hasgathered. trivia or threadedstoriesthat eachpersonbuilds on in tum.

He usedeverymeansat his disposal forceJeremy to my referee's cap. on shehad alwaysmanaged get to appointments time.My husband perfrormed head coach of the opposingteam. Family Fun: An Evening at the Movies The Bakerfamily is getting readyto go out for a movie and Jan feels moment. She doesn't to zz5 .\7e invite you to join the scenealreadyin progress.shefeelsperplexed more anxiouswith eachpassing that she'salwayslate for everything. Beforethe children were bom." the siders 'We're going to leavethe family dinner and join the Bakerfamily in an Outing Ordeal.Jeremyspentmost of our tortuous dinner hour falling off his chair and usinghis gifted verbal skills to comparethe smell of the meal to variousdecayinganimals. \7hen he finally got hungry he of for would be responsible fixing his own sandwichand cleaningup after himself. Melowsky helped us reach reducedthe stress and brought peaceto our kitchen.quoting scientificresearch support to eat.During our initial visit to our therapist. As usual. \7e decidedthat we would invite Jeremyto dinner but he wouldn't have to join us. I donned my assertion that our son would not die of malnutrition-and I attempted to maintain order. The compromisethat Dr.But the key is that we didn't eliminate our rules. He spent most of the as the lack of food in his parents'mountain village mealtimedescribing to in southemltaly.The family harlooks of outmony hasbeenwell worth the skepticaland disapproving who don't understand dynamicsof ADD.The dinner rule was that he could decline to eat with us but had to refrain from character assassination his mother'scooking.How-To's Or DgcngnsrNc DrscoRo Fnov MEnl TruEMnNrnTo OurrNc ORoraLs: PR: "Family mealsarenothing more than a memoryfor my family.we decidedthat our nightly ritual frequently destroyed otherwisereasonable and had to be eliminated. day an sportingevent with a Our family mealsresembled hotly contested My angryopponents. I suppose one could arguethat we gavein to our son by letting him skip the family meals. \7e simply changedthem to meet our family'sneeds. hyperactiveson is particularlysensitiveto smells and is an extraordinarilypicky eater.

again! Notes: Outing Ordeals Many of us with ADD aren't well known for our punctuality. we manage climb in our cars to precisely the moment we'resupposed be arriving at our meeting at to on the other sideof town! \7e have trouble organizing. Now immersedin distractions.we regularlyset new records travel time or for from point A to point B.With our time sense.You MrnN I'v Nor Lazx. Finally all the members the Bakerfamily are ready16ls2ys-everyof one exceptJan. rhe time ticks awayand the As stress mounts. startsworking on a stainedpair of jeansand she throwsAmy's blousein the washerinsteadof ironing it. As shebeginsto put on her make-up.Jan can't figureout why she's alwayslate but it really isn't hard to understand.gemingdressed out and the door for an outing is a major production. you multiply If 726 . Zachary.Tom demands consultationon a his slacksand the color of his sweater.the yelling gerslouderaseveryoneblamessomebody elsefor the problemswith getringreadyon rime. The timer sheset asa waming for the family to finish their prepararions. Amy's discoverythat her blouse is wrinkled sends Jan running to the laundryroom ro iron it. Getting oneselforganized be somewhere a cerraintime is difficult. lack thereof.SruproOn Cnazvl! stop long to ponder this because Jenniferinterrupts. ger we distractedand we routinely forget things. momentarilyforgetsthe time deadlineand she decides pick up the dirty laundryon her way downstairs. to at but getting an entire family organized infinitely more complicated! is If your family is anything like either of ours.askingwhereher purseis and A-y engages in combatover the outfit shewon't be her caughtdeadwearing. goesoff. Somehor. Jan realizes with a start that shehasgotten off track again! She arrivesback in her bedroomto Jennifer's bloodcurtlingscreams for protection againstA*y who hasthreatenedher with death if Jennifer doesn'tstop hiding her shoes.the only personwho took care of himsell attemptsto come to his mother'said asthe rest of the family accuses her of making the family late. to \fhen she getsto the basement.

Prepare a Work Detail for the Family: To reducethe number of "l 727 .The following suggestions might be usefulfor your family'saction there's and time to do neededlaundryor repairs. Jan may requirean uninterruptedhalf hour to get herself togetherand Tom may needhelp choosinghis clothing sincehe'scolorblind. For instance. Jan give Tom her undivided attention to help him choosean can agreeto oudit after she'sready.Tom can agreeto give Jan the time sheneedsby running interferencewith the kids and savinghis own requests until she's ready. This sceneis avoidableif the family designs action plan. If Tom and Jan discuss their needsin advance. an ADD family'sOuting Ordealswill continue. It's easyto point the finger at someoneelse-each family member doescontribute to the generaldisorganization and chaos. they can strike a bargain.A more productiveapproachwould be to help eachfamily memberdecidewhat sheneedsto do to be readyon time. The planning may even need to include things such as a bathroom scheduleto avoid the problem of everyonetrying to get in to one or two bathroomsat the sametime. the extra time required growsexponentiallyasfamily relationships when eachnew do memberarrives. Without a an specificplan.Fnov MEal Trvr MaNrnTo OurrNc ORoEer-s: How-To's Or DrcnpasrNc DrscoRo the difficulty by the number of peoplein a family. Survival Tips for Outing Ordeals Identify Individual Dynamics: The first step is for each family member to identifu her unique contributions to the family'sdisorganization. so Clothing should be assembled laid out well in advance. Establish Family Responsibilities: The family needsto think through the choresthat must be done beforeanyonecan leave.\7ho will feed the dog and put her in the basement? !7ho will have the responsibilities for tuming on the porch lights and answeringmachine?The division of labor shouldbe explainedand assigned advanceto each in of the family members. It would alsohelp if everyonegets dressed and readyin separate areas they don't distract one another. Then the whole family can come togetherand figure out an action plan.

for Set a timer: Jan'suseof a timer is a good idea but sheshould probably set it to sounda warning and then a final signalwhen it's time to leave.If someone operates more efficiently with background music.This giveseveryone plenty of time ro gerdressed readybeand fore the secondwaming rings.SruproOn Cnnzy?! forgot's"or "'What am I supposed do's". The televisionshouldbe off-limits. This isn't the time for readingrhe newspaper watching TV or either.give everyoneher own checkto list of responsibilities. The "No Distractions"rule for mealtimesshouldapply aswell.Family members can read.\Ue'll offer a frameworkfor designinga system family government that fosterscoof operationand minimizesconflict. or rial set aside. the departuretime should should be set earlierthan is really necessary. nice to have extra time to clean up It's the dirt from the flower pot Jennifer knocks over when she cartwheels into it! If it's important to get to an event on TV or play short games during the extra time. 778 . a pre-wamingsignalshould be set. \7e have exploredsometechniques creatingthe important balance for of rightsand responsibilities within the ADD family. To allow for a margin of error. If all this carefulplanning seems like roo much work.You MrnN I'u Nor Lnzy.But implemenration can be tricky. Reduce Distractionss It never fails that the phone rings in the middle of preparations.the newspaper other readingmare. Take it off the hook or rum the answeringmachine on.and the stereotumed off. HOW CAN YOU ESTABLISH RULES WHEN EVERYONE IN YOUR EAMILY HAIES RULES AND RESISTS FOLLOWING THEMI This dilemmawill be our focusin the following chapter. weigh it against the stress and conflict your family experiences when it operates the in usualfashion.Tiv it both wavsbeforevou decide.sheshouldwearheadphones reduce to the distractions other family members.

To help you accomto plish this.CHnprr. we'd like you to think about the model of family govemment that follows.the ultimate responsibility a successful for If govemmentis yours. poised. the parent must assume role of the president."rrful familiesoperateasdemocraticinstitutions. continual conflict may becomea way of life. Everypresidentneedsan advisorycouncil.The parentshave specificrights and responsibilities and so do the children.r.n 12 - Principles Governmenf: of Familv Stvle S. power struggles. Collectively worksthrough the experience living in the of they leam how the process family unit. ready Similar to a country undersiege.In ADD families. sharedfamily tfu A governmentmeansthat each personfunctions asa participant in the zz9 .the interplay of yorz and me may find that things will go more smoothly. It's difficult to eliminate thesecounterproductive But it is possible reducetheir frequencyand intensity. If you can make your family'ssystemof government more democratic.however. you'rea parent. Since variousfamily members or may resistfollowing rulesor have trouble with the give and take essential to successful relationships. In the mini-society of the family. ADD family stands the for defensivemaneuvers attack. It is understood that eachmemberplaysa different role and contributesdifferently to the effectivefunctioning of the group.But everypresidentneedslegislativeand judicial bodiesthat provide a systemof checksand balancesand a method for ensuringcomplianceof rules. The key to establishing a workablesystemin your family is sharing authonty..

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ioqerp pue Suruol er{l pip ur dn zner8 .lJlpoq III^Aereql esrnoc :uopeqo8aSl pue Eulup8leg esn Jo ']lJ poo8 B sr ereqt erar. B arer{dsorute qsrlqetsa uB Jo 'u/\ aql Jo 'paururad r.euo r{f.r1 8ul -uroyed olqedef. III^A sLepSuueurerle qot rlncrglp e ereqsot ear8e uo eldo_ed rO '{ae/!\slqt ISBIsnorpo[pelncrrrede op or eer8e o^{} Plnor '8u1teotu .Be etenlB^e pue ders 'suortseSSns tno sunJd11ule.1 .lo.uplnoqssrqt tnq suorlse88ns anbrr agl "g -rrr ot Surldurats(tJ'seeplSuueqsro.4.LEZ -lul uB grlm euloseJB eJeqJ 'uorsrcap fueurqreleqaaruos IBaPol s'{em 'ruaredaqr sesef. Peseq Plnoqs_s_9o[ daql lllun suottseSSns eteunurlaro .3B tsnru oq ^{oqJo sselpre8er uorlsa88ns fuang InJasn 'stuauu8rsse tnoqe 'uerplrql rnod grlru uorlrpert aqt enurtuof.{'tuered sV'sploru lguoqrpgq otur eqt IIr^t zfuen t(uop puB relulunrp tuere#lp B tBeqaql o1q3rBtxol pual tu Jo sreCCy irl oP l.z i4e! tl sl . seluttstuos aql Jo rrBr{f. ur spr8er{r}l '1eepl ar{t srqt ruoUrBJII}rser(e^r s11od regr lse88ns esrnoJ xes tnoqtr/r\IJo^\ eqt epl^ JO_'seloJ IBuoI}tpBJt uortEJeprsuof.lporuplnor{ssraqrueru eqr .{A\ s{set uo ef. ueq/N txeu eqt ot o3 or eturt s. 2se8erue^pe$p 't ro slrJeuaq arBtEr{1)N 2sarr}llqB aqt s(euodrane lBnpl^lpul pue sSurleeJ uortBraplsuoc epnlcultr seocl. tsour$ oq/r\pue got eqt stue^{og.Surtaeur eql eql 'snsuesuor qsBerot elgEuneq B L11ue. a{Btu ol dnor8eqt asnol sr leo8 orlJ 'ra$vry1w.eru uosradau_o s({ee/r\ txeu tB ecroqclsJr}eql JoJa8uegcxa 'salorluelrodrurl'pelncyrred ul [e1duor]Eno8au pue Surure8req er5qm s] slql istuB^r LpoqLrena tBqt seuo[see puB sluB^\euo ou ]Eqt sgol rlnrr.noz( L11ute.i. asn 'tr eperuoq^\ uosredaqr Buirclpul tnoqtr^\ er{t stlreurstr asrerdde plnoqsuouBnlB^e aql . fua.d1yue.Jo salnJar{l /\{olloj lsnur auorfueng ueltrJ^ir\ 'sl tl pue perdef.ep qoI anr]eradoof.op ol uollef. Jo -lp pue SurgrLra^e ot pelJedxaol ere uetuozrr uetu .i11rue.Ba B etBnlB^e ol Jo suousanb 8ul.sauit p"r" oP pue -re9II oseqtul :seroqC ^11wed sanssl .(11rueg . eq oylcadslnoqBsuoISIreC B .lo alor ar{t uo Furler tou tnoqe aq rue113ln ot paau11.wal{ord esn Jo EILJS IllWVl :JNAI^{NUE^OC CO S3tdrlNrud .{ 1oot s.t\ eueAJelul eneqllln ot atuosur Jo .Iunulluof.ra-rrJ tseqeqt uo 1o 'snsuasuor qrear uBf.nro11o.rq8nu 'e8eqre8 tno eqt no. Eunlog. enordrulIIF{ slrlJ.eqt Jo SuruortounJ rl llera^o agt enordurr III/A.p .ueturoyadpue uortB^rtour senordul tl sedcualcrre.eaplqf.

[".i. lf no^ ilAz\/ucuo ardrus'LZv-lroN hl.i.pll:11J \oog?uncnuuoC V 'slsll ueltlr^t 'Iooq eqt ur parseSSns . -ord eql 'a8ueqcxa e q8norqt seepl aleraua8 sluedtrtued 'suots leqre^ -sesSurnlos-ulelgord lsotu ul 3peJrqcn4S ag ueC EulutlolsuleJg 'seroqf.e/I\/.ue nor{ 'xoq reull eql lno rg81ur eH 'essBduilsrgr Per{f. eJotu B uI IIaA^. seroqr Palue^\un qot eqr u8tsse ol e^Bq eql ernqlrtslp no. e lnoqllA\ uorsrf. ssef.{rane s8ury. tEiO puu Kyrun ^p oi ruonnqryuoJ (yrq:surunlof.tue uo oslBPue peauSocaruno3 jo B uB ueuo tBrlt suojJaanrlrsodaql jo sseueJB/r\B Jelso.s peJnlf.{11uBJ e{Bru ol eABql.Ber 1.eql re^o PBerol eruBl{f.treqrezpue raluua['[ruv 'P"C 'ruoyyelqel aqr PunoreIrIn] uI ere uosredqcBaor passud stsll peraldruooegt IIV 'fuBq)ezPue reyluuef '[*V 'p"C ro] stsrl rar{ suoue^resqo sasneqs 'lst1 lBnpl^lpur e1eruot 'elduexe 'sreqluelul'1tue. esaqt op ot e^Bq nori '.o/v\totul PaPl^ J .{11ear '. roC uar{A\ leuosradJaq petaldnrocseqtuoJAI uaqJ 'oQ ?lnoc I raqlo eql jo qf.eP B seg . B uo eer8e ot TaeA\txeu urc8e fui qral' ' 'ot aplcep IIIII\ | 't1elr t(uBf.rxBJI{rEe }o selrlllqB pue a8e aqr ol Sutprocoe . srql ef. eqt Jo speou IIBra^o eqt uo PUBsuollnqlrluof. PUBStpreq 'C :a"LaH t4S nl [lf [g'stua. epnlf. pelqet eq uBf.eru tuered aqt 'panloser aq tsnru assedruteqt JI 'Suttaaru 'ltem uec uolslseP eql jl 'assed txeu erp tB uolssnf.eqt Jo asot{tpue slueredpue s8urlqrs }o seltlllqlsuodsar 1en -pl^lpq eql 'sanrllQlsuodser $q uo snf.[ 'eloq/v\ sB slq Llqule..pre. IJOA\ oslB u€f.{q sruaruluocePnlcut eql III^\ rl 'stsll eqr qree ol slueruulor u^\o rleqr '{c"q rsII leq UeBruoyqueq^46 }o ppe .oJ uosradqcBedl".oJB ePIAord srsrl eqJ ez'PrBA\eH UIBIIIIIil.uls 'snsuesuof.( regf tueuodull s..{. esla euo eql qof asaqr uI Jlasrnol. PUBsaIlIIIqE IBn '-I -pl^lpul uo snf.{ st$l eql ul\o 'L11ue. ot slued\ euo ou JI 'elloqJ reqlo lq8p ou eq l.8fz aqt peppBsJer{]o sluetutuof.{s A\oqsl slqJ aqr B 'llun arrtleredoof.{11 .eru areqt serulletuos rng peplo^B eq Plnoqs suolslf.lp lsrJ lvllosrad lno slllJ uosradqceE 's{rollr urals.te1dJIBJ rprds eql ul 'slueluu8tsse Jo ioot '{aa^\ 8utrtro11o. ur uosradr{cee.I NVEhI .ul ot raqueueg -eluos ol eroqr peteq erll u8rssBIII/I\ noA regr JBalf.i. aql eleunlroJun Erl reqr e8pald\oulrB Plnoqs eH 'uolslf.ap fuenrqJv .tzd "ua\LWD uar.(Seterrsslqr roJ sr Tro^tetueg V sasnlEql ruals.rl aIBIAI raqruaul .eeroJ lsII rBllluls B se{Blueuo.slpro.B sB i.ep slql aIBu ot ereq.'slgl lnoqe esruordurof.B sBtluosredqlBll 'srJo#e esuBl€9rul .nJls 'leruro.

Lamadsr srql'rsll prnlt B tno IIrJuE3uosradqlBE 'sreqtuaru .enrtre#etsoru d11ue.r\ eqt qtoq Jo srsBq uo epBtueq plnoqs sprB^\er tnogBsuorsrf.lJIrBIO urF{ {se u€f.ep eql uo eqJ.uerp151c raSunod qrlrN lellBrBd {sBr qf.o{Brrepuno1 {sBl tuetrodul lsotu eqt esooqo uosredqtee sdleq eloqd\e sed11ruq eqJ 'eJoqf.l3e se.o rred elqenle^B eg uBf.slp dnor8 e srq esooqc or .t.Latat"4 B .6ez 'prB^\ar 'crrcadsB e^Bqplnoqs . . ia8ere8 uI rno rq8yuLepFC eqr Jo tser er{t ol JrBJun oslB.o Lr111qB e8eeqr IBnPI^lPur 'ruolnlgrlm eturl peldrualurun Surpuads tuearc ot ecr etBlof. qf.La4-auo sI auop ro n srp e wlf irct palrns.Tannn"taQooJ aqr ?lnoqs lsai uos.Be pue A\erAeJ slql raUV 'uoltBf.sp.t11rueJ eqt Jo asoql pue slseralurpue speeu Plnoqssrotf.SI'IIWVC :INEh{NUa^OC Sa'rdrCNrud CO .tBql 'serlrlrtJe atrJoAB} lsII IBnPI^lpulue setaldruof.Ba aql fuanaSurpueds qsrlert(useop oq.{peal sr Jeqrueru r{11ue.spJB/r\aJ JoJ 'lcegcLed e ot rBIIrulS'ruetsAs rno.oqrSurleaor nI Surqclezlr luo{ Surqrduespnlcul uBf. e)il1suorteraprsuoo snroJplnor{s8ur>1eru-uorsrf. auor{rang sezrualrreql fsrlarua.erdsrH iruooJsn{ ol eq seoqssrq 8ur>1et {sBt slr{JoJu^\olqra^o eq Leu pJe^\er tBqt Jo rotf.[J. etls 'elour fuegce7Surgreruos roJ lnoqBuorlsenbe seq lllohl JI 'rsll leurSuosrq ot rueql aredruoco] puB E].BJ Jo enle^ eqr lnq rq8tu i(epFCfuaneJlesurq ot esnoqeloq^\ eql tue/r\d1rur Leru ltrctqte7'sJeqruelu LlFue.ur aqt puB 'dno.luouecroJ -ureJanrtrsod f. 'lBre^aserunssB plnoqs sluaredpuB uerplltlc replo ellq/h .Lour ary a\i iflun K11unl oj Kyaancat{a affiqtLiuor arour ary lvnpu\rryt d1ay4w sl\1mnoy iasP auoauns \1!n {.Jsoru 1Bs]sEl oz\{lro auo uo eler plnoqs uerpllqc reSunotr. Jeqlo uo pJB/r\aJ eqt. IBnpl^lpurdq uesoql aq plnoqsspre^rer 'slueruu8rsse eq oJ qof Jo uonaldruocInJSSaJJns uanr8ag uBf.Lanaq aslaauoaulrrs 4sa D st\j sI i8uluu"opa{ aHp4ncs nqurau Klltunta\i w\i Butytauos to lspt slr/rsI :3urno11o.rlBruetsLS :s.uorssnf.raqurenl Lpureg JoJ slrBJluoc doleaaq pun iKyanncnpofi KyaaunnQoor uoncunt K1gtuot 41ay4sasrp mnoA a.o rcedull aql iue prE^\aroqt Jo ssaurlBJ 'uosradeqr.{eu pre^\erpaua.

ft {luouoca eqt pue uarPllql rePlo eql qll^\ Pesneq uer uels. ue eq oI IBnPI^lPuI Jo .Ileueq Pue rl€J eq lsnru qllq^A lueuleer8e eql roj.Z 'seJoqf.i11ue.1Nv:lhl nOI .s]ulod ro strsodap rel B ur palBlnrunJf.Be'spremer su8rs PuB 'Iooqryeqc sdlqcralod eq uBf.{slurod y (s)ruered ii IZVUC UO AIdruS'XZVI rON h{.ueruro.1rue.ue Suuerle roJ acueA\olle uB o 'f.le (tuered aqr gtltr eq PoTELIS III^ASutuealc Suuds uIoU e8eqre8 BJtxo 'eI :ef.enFAstr ot Surprocce aJB ot B ((eset{f. eql.ulteqr tf.BuB osle tnq stJeJluoc s(ueJP -llqr rno't noA 'luered er{l sV Jo rotBusIuIIuPBeql eq Lluo lou Plnoqs l.o leo8 oql 'lBlluassa sr Leld rreg 1no[ ro. re8relPu€s sel IBJeAes ubpt slql 'sPJBA\aJ uras.(11ute.PatelnrunJf. uaqlfi eqr s>lsel uo sear8e aql uosradqf.nJlsPue a8ernoc -ue ot st Suucenuof..-B a8rel pJBft\eJ pacud 's>lsel eJueturoyedJoj spJe^\er ctycedsueqt Jeqler stutod sesn sturod jo oqr!\ esooqf.O.11ue..ul aqr Plnoqslf. u8rsep .uanbesuocerp rdeccB ol ear8e ot e^Bq stuered uJoped er{r aqr usAE 'llun e se .btunlroddo PJE/heJ er{t Jo ssol :af.esn '3urmo11o.Brluor e .red-uou JoJsoJuenbesuoc aql }o lueruelels B o luotl^\ Aq Pue 'qcnru ^\oq :PJB^ry\aJ jo uotldtrcsep B o eqr uant8 eq III/\\ lI uerl^\ :ilffi:faq tsnru tI '€ Surryornr t(usl tl JI tuerueer8e er{l }o Ued /.erllue aql PUE ue o I€npl^lpu aqt ot lelf.{Fsauoq llluatssuoc PUB suoueStlqo IIIJInJ IF .br1lqepuee3eeq]o]ryrddeueo selqeulgDv eq lsntu1l'7 . Legr jl sef.(1IruBJ Jo uollBredoor eJnlf.(arp sto€Jtuo3 er{t ur tuedrcrued eAItf.otueluatetse sBsJeqruaru eqr {set eqt }o sluaruartnbar IIB.Ertuof.E B ur papJof.eJ .o uortdlrrsep€o euoPeq o1 ueq^r PUB sI lI uauo /v\oqPUE lsBl eql oP lllll\ oq^'\jo lueluelBls Bo IUJOj UollIJz\'\' UI o q15tds-aq tsnutrl'I '1n.o sarnleu8tso ot tueulear8e.Jnd.luaueer8e eqr srureteqt {sBt er{r ol suotldeoxe Jo luaruelBls € o Jequerul.ueruro.eq1Jo. epnlf. Jleql Peu8rssB or IIB.

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". Lllensn [".t alelnler8uo3 ina(" $vI to laam or ro (. ary '[11tue.Itslleerun q8noJr{t eJnll€J ro.t roJ a^Bq noL srea.SuudacoB lB {JoA\ lB ryo1!\ osle lsnur nor{ 'sacueJa#lPenbtun u1v\o l.f.i1lure.{ areduoc ot ur€el ot e^Bq no 'roruntl 'aJueJelesrad 'Alrnrlearf.eq tsute8e pren8 rno/. sa/iJasar .o pue uorssedruoc Jo 'sa8uelleql eqt leeru pue }lesrnoL eplsul qoeer ot e^Eq no.{J rno/.uof. luou le/l|e atur] etuos elBr ol elBllseq l(uoc no 'sue1q leuorsselordre8 ol etetlseq t(uop -ord elqBtunoruJnsur LlSunuaes Lq peulor{/!\relo 8ul1ea.( Joj jlesrno.rns 'dn anrEreleu pue suoga rno. no.t l(uef.{J'se188nrrs rreq] puetsrepun pue areqs sraqto [ueur '8ut ter{t Lrenocsrpeqr re [o[ pue ]ueuqsruotse sserdxasluared tsotu -teotu dnor8 uoddns CAV tsJrJrraqt tB eou€puane reUV 'sansslrellurls pue rroddns aqr asi 'dnor8 aqr gtlm leep oq^\ sroqto Jo suoltsaS8ns 'setlllueJ rnor( erBrls ccv ro.l1 lLddeq pue ot tuoJed e se seItIItqB persnlpe IIeA\ os stuaesl'1tule.0S6I eqt uro# uIof.{ tuared rseq eqr aq. are PUB. plor{ qer8 oI 'erult ot erult ruo5 s8urlaa.oj ot sI Le1 eq1 IIElus ur ssef.{ rng 'sueetu 's]uared ragto ot tou reqt Jeleter{1!\-tuared rce.7.rad B eg tou [eru no 'a^ol JlesrnoL ot slll{s Suttuared rno.rno. dn..1esrno. {vpol Sutuoucun} tlun l'1yue.ddeq eql uo euo eql eTI aq no.i.illute.t rng no[ peau's.(Irue.( Jo asoq] Suttdecce rnori. rno[ sI ^\oH isnl 'sdets uo ot eJnseetu pue sserSord[. rno/. azrBrauealpue dnor8ar ol peau tsnlu no 'af. 'dl"q I/IZVUC UO AIdnJS 'LZV'I JON I^{. Ienpl^lput rnoL lo asoqt pue seltlllQestp un\o rnol uanr8 eq uec no.{eur no.1 NVEIAInOA .bZ 'serlnuBJu.( Suuedulos Jo derr aqr otur IIB} or [sea s.i. dnor8 uoddns B Puellv Htlm sessef.Suueduroc no/. aqt r{tr/!\ pardncroerd Sutruof.vpt"ara{" paredruof.CCV rno.ry\o Jreqt JoJuouerceJdde uB pue tuarutrluruoo peueqt8ueJts gtlnrt [eme etuof. esoq^\ puelry B rno.illule! lo seapl rnof {ulqreg 'spaau Jraqt ot jlesrnol.{ Suruas nol.lrces no.tISuolslnelor reneu Leur l^1pe. arv isuonelJadxe f. eor. eser{t ut dn rq8nec sta8 sn }o qlBE 'euo cQv-uou B ol . uo sncoJot IIB. Leru noL 'estmreqro 'uarpllql ACV rno. pue suref. CAV uy 'Surruered pue .uartedJo sanJeser 'Jeqrra .{ rueqr JI 'sPeeuu^\o rnol ur aldoad dl".ns 'srequau Llyue.i.

.o 'trun e se .ilqeqordplnoc e41 's8ulues.oArauel B ur Surce. luads e^(e/x\ acv Jo sf.rea1 uI sef.ueyrl 'uortezrue8ro sef.teqr ses8urqr ol Jno Surppe enurtuor .uBf.(eul tf.uara#lp '8uru.ueJaleJ fuoruau ot eperuel(a/v\ eqt tnoq8norql {ooq . Ienpl^lpul 'tcedsar uoucunj ot urBel UBJ sarlnue.11ure.nus troddns luelrodur .rrlenbaqr asnuorduof.rBqr sef.uereJJlp anbruntsaJluBru pue CCV grlrn stlnpel.sserrns Lllerrn B aprnord uec sraqrueru l.Be roJ erntf. CCV eql ur luetsuof.t11n.uBf.evz 'uouueue ot eq lllnt leo8 rng 'SuruJBal pue 'fuorueru'uortezrue8ro 'Suruoucun.ea sratderpo^\t txau egt ul -searB aseql IIBre^oJo f.{1yue.ipegr Surssncslp PUB lBre^as 'Surtdecce ssel r{f.ssnssr Jeqlo aruos uo enourol erurtEtr rnq sureJg otur dod.nlu ueuo sr tBql plroA\ eqt }o tser aql luog lBertar aJBS eruos B -eq uer tuogetuor{ er{r '. sgr'"::il""i"1il$1Til1"t:t ro.rl}uoc aer8ep auos t18noql1y 'reqto qf. B aq .ruBu.o Leld:eturaqt eurluexaII.rer -ur srardeqf. CIqV lentnru pue 1ro^{ preq qrlrN E]AIS Allhlv{ :IN3I^INUE^OC lO SsldlJNIUd rue aresuedruof. orasn no^ .

au8 'srusrueqcetuasuaJep'sacuare.eP pue eurf.nlC r{rns saltll gllrtt qooq Jo qf. {ool II.e/A.slPslqt uo Peuels ta8 a.Jeesar B [ueru ro.s.of-ffbop1. ire[ Lesol af. eJll.. noL paredard Apadord eA(eA\ Lderegr rv\ol{ 'uorsueurKl Peccy rnol.r eJoleg pue spotfpt^l stlueqtahl u!009 :uollezlueFJ0 lo st!ufeu'{0 tI usrdvHc .vv7 :sB paZrun&tg ar"own ol sdalg a.lperu a>lBluo1 /v\oq 'sltctlap III{S cglceds PunorE Iro/Y\ o1 1Kor{ -Jeccv .\\ noL llar ot tuBA\ ert 'uotssnf. :srqt e{11 SurqraruosoB rq8nu teqt orreuuortsanbB-loot cusou8elp lueuodtut sdeqred..te1'Surpeerrno[ ro.reCCV ue [ueru ]o eueq eqt tnoqe ]eql 3ur11erAsnqte8 s.uBq] B PBr{ '{ooq eqr uollf. peeq noA op 'erots>looqB ol oB nol.{s-sseulpeer uo pasnJoJam 'srerdeqr enrJ uB lxeu eql ur Suro8 eJ(ed\eJeqt\ aes ol d\eIAJeAo pue 'snf..{puacar e16 ue JI peJepuo^\ pue pJec Surlear8 B uo a8essaru i^prJ'n'U ^q 'N 'ltntsBurznnuals(g Aeuesl6l eu1 [q 'atli ro perledull ^ilBuortBzrue8ro eql roJ llnrIJJIC sI eJI-I 'uoltezlue8rosrp-eJll s.{ ot pue aldoed ot Surteler pue uouef. loedxa ot teq. ueqlA. ul eJeql\ eas ot A\eIAeJ ueeq eA(eA\ UIr{s Jer{toue lcrnb E op s(te'I s>lreruraldeqo slql asneteq 1ooq eqt lo rePuleuar er{t ro.e^{ Jo 'qof rno.rununuoc Jo sansslparoldxe a^t ueql 'ssacordcttsou8elP eqt PUB eJuBIEq'.lp 'sa8etsPUBsa8e'sesneJ '>1ooq eqt }o ued tsJIJeqt ul puB lsel slql ul t(ueleq am Bunltfuana tnoqe TIBI II.o.l JaPuo/t\sn seleru tI 'sn Jo ue Surssturuaeq a^Eq sJar{f.rees 'I ur elsre dleqles eqt ro. JeAocsIPol /Kot{ PUBsuoISIf.{ueru lB uB JoJ .o Aezn slueesuol]Bzlue8rosrq ir1 pau8rsePpeq TaCICV slr{t ^res .

'"iJ:"":.{ op uauo r!\oH.ueruA\oH l/. eJrAJes iruoorpeq rnod Jo rooll eqt uo [elle sellur ]o spuesnoqr sr esef.r.V iqtuour red serultlerales uretsr{s nol peetsursatour1-rsod grlrn stuoorrno[ e]BJof.f.trns rnoL teqt Jagtuerualpue Iaroq rnod ol la8 noL op serun. L.t . B sB.!\oH iesnoq rnoA ur eJeqt eJBlreru peuedoun yo sepd /.!\oH itsrl aJots rnor{ lnoqtrllr eJots fuacor8 er{t lB eArJJe nor{ op seurn . spro/l\ aqr .o .!\oH .{lruanber.a1rno[ uo ue]tlJ^r eABqnor{op sJepurruer .L .esneceqsIf. nori.raded11e^\.teA{.{es.9 ipueq tq8u JnoI ipueq r.tI irauJoJ aqt ur pelcedun esectrnsrnoA aleal noL op dut sseursnq JaUBsLepr(uerurv\oH.oord JetBA\B Jeelr noA oq.(op s>looq spurl esaqt.Bp fuene sLal rec Surssnurno.I I sarurt[ueru A\oH'0I ileel\ rsed aqr uI lueututodde uB Jo' erel nod eJeA\ ilsrl oC o1 rnod roJ tsrl oCI oJ B e^Bq nol oq i]srl oe oI E eABqno[ oq i]srl oC o1 rnoL uo petsrl no[ eneg stue]r r{ueru .op serurt .i.{ueru A{oH '6 '8 .tueur A\oH.ueru .s SutltJA\aue Lrt nof oq .TC . nol.{ueru A\oH .os ot oB pllql rnof seop seurr] Lueru laoH..{ oQ.reLrp eqt ur ureqt lnd ol ro8ro.ep oq . no.{usnoL plp serurt .i. esnecaqoodrueqs ro ruoor Iatoq IIBI ot e^Br{ no.buamt rsed aqr uI lueqt .z iu^{o no.sr7.ZI isJnoq JnoJ ..to8ro.ueu .91 2srnoLloed ot to8ro.os e te^\ qtr^\ arue8Jef.i.tI e .gI qsnJqqtoot B ro.XT:illi rno or re' 'apu*ue' ill #HnlT:*: Jo IrBJt deal ot Ja^ror{saqt ur qf.o lueu ^\oH Jo SCOHIEI{ ANV SCINVH]EI{ :NOIJVZINVCUO NI COV JO S3Ih{VN.{ Jo} qcJeesno.

(1ysee er.(eqsaf.eq suelqord t(ueJe qulqr asnods ISeppue $eso1c rno :sseqs sasneC aJI'I rno uI raprosl( eqf raqlegl[ ePIceO 'loJtuoc rno puo.ieqt erv irapro cgrcads Surureel grlm pe8elcederuocrer{t seurlrgeslp -srpeqt. 93 f.{ Jeprsuoc srql ot passed JI 'aJeqSurqraruos uo aq rq8nu am eql rtlsouSBrP PezrPJBPuBts 1n9'lsel rno Jo erJelrJc ](ua^eqe/x\ lqql azn IIIZVUC UO Ardnrs '.o sruordulds Lagl ery 'aceds s(JeCCV pue erurlr{trl\ srualqord aqt ro.lePrO Eupea..JSat.eles . trBO '{ldrurs Lsseu rno.i. 'rualqoJd B o^Brlt(uop nol.{}l 'ereunrro.euesp Sunueas grlm elqeuoluoJ ere pue eqt Llenrreler nol..oLc.rlleer.Joj..'{eql peeunoL Jo ]lnsere .(lleuortezrue8ro roj rlnrlJllp peepurs1alll 'sura1 -qord aceds rgrcadsaqt Jo ssalpre8eg pue erurt(stlnpe ACIV Jo sesneo . suoseor rglcads erp Surpre8ar rno IIIts sr .frefs no^ oO ereYZK-. '/.{rn[ eqI 'fuoueru pue uortuene 'Surureel senssr re8relaqt ruo{ l1 eteredes elqrssodrul ol s.XZV'I rON h{(l NVAI{ nol . no.1 'pazrue8rosrp .(asnef.i 'pe1le.9bT.lasrnod '.1yepeq [eru pazrue8rosrp B erp Surleegiperredur.reru tB eqt ot ol IeeJueuo pue plro^\ rno JoJlnrspue erun aqt a8eueru ^\oq /v\ou1 'i11enlad:ad ruees releu snjo [uepi 'f.(aqrererO 2CCV aql B grlm [r1nc1glp isnooj enrtf..t1 Jo 'uortezrue8ro(srp) ecuereJar qtrl\ rardeqcsrqrue8aqe^a or B q8noqlly 'stlnPB clav reqlo [ueru grlrn Luedruocpoo8 ur ere no.l3 $oR t ?*.

t ertnber reql a.{ znou>1 ot uedo paddrg .rparannlf.L'Z 'poqtetu tf.11 '[]tnttearf.ued e se Eulqa qtns oN sI ereLII rBqI reqluatueg 'repJo asuase Surdola^ap te {Jo1!\ Jo ot uorsrf.epsnorcsuof.eq'uretslts IBuoItBzIueBro rnoL ul JePJoeleaJf.{rlom t(uoq 'e. tnoqe 'q8norp '.pBep pessllu g]lrr.{erunoL g8noqr ly '1set alqrssodruruB sr ey11 -lV :uetsdg tea.. 'dnelld ryomaded pue seull .artof.uBIBq rleql 'L1lue.srtes sBA\ noLuaqn pepllep noL.1 Tooq eqr Jo ued srqt drls JI 'leaqsef.{ Pue sarlJ 1no Suulnd Llruelsuor noL'reldeqc srql ar.('erun ee{ eJtxeJo}#o epeJtfuorce.{lererparurulpue stuatuor }o olqer eqt Peuuecsnof 'uouueDe rar{lo aql uo snJo} PUE rnoL Jo sEarB rno. Suorznro rq8u ou sr eJeqt esnef.o rred € eq PlnoqssPeeu }O Jo tsor er{t ol elqerdaer€srj}oepen srqt teqr tuetrodrul s(tl esrnoc 'ruelqord B B e^Bqt(uop no.( rno. etuos qrlrN uec nol '8uruue1d pue it(usli11ear ]Jo/t\ pJBr{ rnoL Burzrue8Jo teql 1aa.{.B aleru ot peeu no/.1 rnoL pepdruoc esnoqlssarue ]Bqt teeqsecuBIBq SCoHIat\ CNV SOINVHcEI\ :NOIIVZINVcUO NI OCV ICTScIWVN C .11 'nol. s1a}ll rno. roJ urelqord e t(usl uoltezlue8rostp. aqt qrlll dn Sutruof.noAtI'uortBuue?to grlrn uelqord B aABqno.rno.

:sJBe rnor{ur SurBurJ suor] 't1npB ar.11tuosncco '{.sr uortJessn{t ezrleeJ 'uon{sB} eurBs ur rerdeqcsrr{tJo EurrseSrp SurpBer qceorddy er{t eqt pue 'peaue8ro . Jo eqt etuosJaPrsuof.thz nod rg8noqr no.s1eo8 eJour Surruoceq . .Surruleqn\reno osle eq .nor( -ruoupe ue qSnoqlly leruaredr{rlrnateredolllrs feur nod UO NVE'\ no^ IiAZVUS Crdnrs'LZvl rON h{.teruuopBruroJul erunloneql 'uortentrslenpl^lpur rno[ ot dldderou Jo ' .(s€pezruB8rosrp eq lou Leru sB ialezr\ 'arulr larnb eurospue nol 's8ulq] eseqtjo eerqt IIB pul.(Sueq](uoq.( lno ernBIJ :. e tB ef. Jo requrnuelqBuoseer qtr^\ Surleap ueld e u8rsap ueqt pue &ualos ot Surprooce tueqt aatuoud 'seere rual -qordagt 'lrluepl ot paeuno1 iueeru L11ear op teq r 'uosladpezrue8 no.euoq le8 no^( uoos selasolf.{spuruar roop tuo5 eqr l.( -Josrp sB e azuetJBJBrIs uagrN 'saf.erd nol.teruqllq^\ eA Jo eruos IInJ1ror{f.rt Wta4s op a1.erd 3ur11cer JI 'slungc Jolletrrs otur u^\op rardeqc srqt 1eerg .{em or rno[ uo ..ipeerle ar..uBIBq puB rno.7luanba$nasnvtatqo asapa"tn ua{o moH i.lesrnoL noL 'elurt B pur. lsrl rnod lnoqB lulql 'teeqsef.uoy 11{vcatqowly ayt pat iur 1lonl Wn aft\ noCsacpis u alqat"otruoc no| oq a\i iwap asnnoCop mo\ WD auoy tno("u satoQs arDwW :senssr aoeds pue erurt lereue8Surrnrollo.rddv ol paeN no1 (pazruefuO feC oI alqno"Li noi oq aftD\ i\log ill"tS iaulL :8ur11ouuor pB no{" ipau"ws ot ftno\mo aln&{ ot SurC.e14 eqr se (('qou{Joop uo te{cel rno.os rno[ 1fld.eql uI seoqsJef.rade4 pue prued e qrl/r sul8ag uonezruefuO oI 'retel eruoopue ell!^\ e roj {ooq eqt asolc'{peruleq/!\reno I ot TOBq ro pesnluoc Surtuof. eqt tno ssotot paeu noL plo 'sr turod eql 'uraqt qsrlodot no.o .un Wnu moH pup 3uo1n"totpasnunpaurvruar aftmls?uyyt totpg '{.nor{ Jo Jequnu . ueo nor{JI Iooq -etou Suruuelde 'ltcued e gtll\{ tJets'sruelqord leuoneaue8rocgrcads rno.{ ^rer^eu 'noL roJ DIJoA\ teqd\ op pue ((splnoqs.fuoruaur rno[ s8o[ ua]s[s r1esnereg leer8B sr qoulroop aqr uo ralcef rnod Sur8uerl eql.1 .f. rallerls ur JepJo JlssJnoL Jo BepIIBqo18 apl^lp ot peou noL 'sretrets eql ro{ :4u11 pazluufuO uB uI uouezruefuosrq JnoI qceo.q seoqs rno[ Surneelsdeqra4'op or peau lllrs nod puerreeqr rnoqe.Laftau tno| ialll mo{" WD a1.ig petrturle SulgsrlqBtsa 'rueqt B ro.

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lr prole o1 :sdurqs Jo luewuossv 'a8elsod tuorf. sJeqto IBreAespue sseJppe urnter rnod gllrn aperu druets B e^Bq 'sarlddns Surperu eseqt gtlrn Buoly :dululg sseJppv uJnleg 's8uryeur lerceds rnod JoJpueq uo sdruetsjo . sleualeru Jo [rlruenb aqr saf.npal rr .usl ssautBeN 'elqBpBeruneq osle rqSru sprocar rno[ ro. 'reded uoqrec SursnJo rrgerl egt ur la8 nod.se8etsode SurLnq SCOHIEI^{ CNV S]INVHCEIAI :NOIJVZINVCUO NI CCV IO S3I]^IVNAC .{. qcear rq8rru ryo^ureded it(uop-pro.O irsll rno ur srqr Surpnlf.t e8ed Surssrru eqr purj ot elgnort pue erurt enxe eqt a{Bt or eneq no[ ueqJ ipaddllcun Suturoreq Jo Lem snouatslru e seq reqla8or peddrlc 'peelsur drlc reded B ro.eru ryonreded rnoL 'a1ecsB tno -r{ll45 '{sap rno[ go l. peau noL sserPPB rrlnler ro elBP a8elsod aql 'e11d uI tel' atl t(uop pue . {JolrJeded ertXo eqt eABq no[ 're]uec Ldoc egr or re8 uec no[ Illun 'etul] Brtxa pue dut lercadse elnber Latll lnq lear8 are seutqceru Surreorldnq 'ellr^\ no[ sra]tel tuetrodun 11e.t\ B ul nol 'rbdrue sr ralders rno[ uer{^\ req] 'q8noqr 'teq a4t iecueBrlletur rno[ ]lnsur ol 8urfur rou er(a/X\'teISEq [1ddns rnoz(ur seldetsaneq no[ esrno3.{m :sa1de1g jtrnq t(usaop tI tnq 'repro Jo esuesB ot lertues -se t.{ uo dn pua l.rauedg Jeile-I 'sleqBl Jo lno um nor{ ero}eq luro} reproer eql 'elpuBq ot peeu Ileru ol SuueqrueurerJo uelqord aqr setBunurlaoslB rI nol.osardoctuBtsur elBru ot pueq uo .i.xeuo .ur reqtoq e^\ plnol\ .s1age1 Surperu reded ueqt enrs -uedxe erotu sr druets Jeqgnr e g8noqtly 'Llruanbar.beuen e dae>1 'e8etsod ssef..( ur JapJoeqr ot uonnglJtuoc Inlosn B sr .lerelpeurrur ryoznradeder]xa eqr ra8 puB IsBt rnod ereldruoc ot nod selqeue osle tl 'err3Jolsod arlt ot Surnup jo elqnort pue etult eqt seAES auoq te II€ru rnol 3urq8ral6 'alef. eteldruoc uBc no/.eznly 'ece1dredord str ur tr qJEnBeJpue Papeol relders rno^.ssaru B eJB sedolenue trrol 'ef.{euou Surtse.197.iep durer B uo grlm l.rade4 uoqJeC 'eJuo Lluo ISEI E op ot aneq no[ os dael sl.IJJo rno.{ aldoad ro..ilddns e Surdea1 reprsuor plnoqs nolt lng .rilnsur JoJ suJnteJeorllo tl lsod aqt uer{Ar etuu puof.1 'eceds rnoA Sutrannlf.e1dor spl>[aqr enr8 am Burqteurosor pare8elerueeq seq raded uoqrec 'sretuac . grlrn puodseuoc no.{11ear tl tng 'qot stqr roJ aulj tsnf ryom dlqeqord sra8ug rno1 'loor lue]rodrur uB se lsrl ot ruetl l.1ps reqrer e elll tuaes rq8nu slqJ B ISep rno.(doc lcrnb Jo le^rrre ar{t W}/N :.

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4 eIId reded iurnq pue qsero B tsure8e pa -tcatord ar.3ur1oo1 tB ueq^\ Surrildulnu .uuecun seq lreur teql eqt lou eJ(eA\ Jo .no.697 'slea.uplcl islnu ad\eJelx\'oP e/)4. uo eurBurno'{ gtlm raDel ill E re^rlep ot rerrref.i. nod eJnsa{BIAI 'lr anerJteJot ee} uee{ e se8reqc tradxe fuanocor ErBpB BtBp rnod asol lltun tseel tB Jo JeAeJoJ 'surnq pue seqseJcenrJp preq rno.noA os sf.slpeteredaseeJqt ol uo selrj tuelrodrur rno/.{ -Blnurl aql lnoqe nor( uounBf.{ y1 icr8eur relndruoc Jo suorl 11.{rrpqedec ^louT ezn l.lle4\.Jo uoltseSSnseqt /nollo. Ldoc ro uetsAs adet dnlceq E esn 1VJVCI U3OI dn )CVg :ereq^\tuanesresn ratnduof.IIBIUeqt roJ Sur8uolrequeruar nod op '{pllql e sV luarue8eue. ol luB/r\ e/r\ sJesnratndruof.TC . pauosBessv 'proJJ€uec nod ter{t ecud B te tuetudrnba retndruoo pulJ l.eru noL pue SAOHIEhI CINV SCINVHSEhI :NOIIVZINVCUO NI CCV JO S3IY\VN. tr ^\oq s(teqltsBOI '.

ueltrJl\ en.nor{'11azrleeJno/.l NVAI{ nOI .ssecord B srqt jo pua eqt tV 'tsrl rno[ o] uretr qrea ppe pue a1ld rnoL q8norqr oB '1aem 'xoq erlt e ur raded.1 'elld redord eqt ul Surqrfuana tnd Llleorsdqd pue xoq rnoA tno drunp ot relerd rq8rru no1 'serJo8etecesaqt Jo euo ur tsrl rel -sBurrno[ luou Surgrfuena ]nd puB JIBq ur raded Jo teeqs puof.o e11d no[ 'spuBJJe ^(epe JoUV 'ryomraded.uorsnjuoJ pue uoueABJSSe.(ro.rade4 rno azuo8ele3 'fuotuenu1 >[romraded rno/.i. puB seJrolur aJots 'sdr1s B {uBq.o tBr{1K tno JePJooleeJc or un8eq lsnI an.{ 'Surdea1 's^ Surgserl reno eauoBe noL.o secardpue stdrecarpetelnru Jo pue eqt tV 'enreceJno. ot suetr Jo sn\or pue sraddoqs rer{to Jo suortf. sr a8etue^pesrp eqJ Jerler e eq ueo Suoue esooqf.noL tBqt sJepuIUeJsnoeuellaf. eqr rnd ol ereld e Surpur.i. pue s8ur8uolaq Jno uos uBJ el6 .rnosLluo er{] t(usr IIBy\ Jo 'Lep fuene esnoq rnol ot de.esn ot [see [lanrreler 'e8re1o/!\l qtrl!\ ]no uets ol tued\ tq8tru nol 'mou JoC 'sued algee8eueru eJotu '11erus o]ur tsrl IBJa -ua8 rnoL epl^lp ot sr qof rxau rno :dnap4.092 ot s8urql rno^ sr tnoqe pauref.{ s8urqr eqr u/t\op tol'senure ruog sSolelec grlrn pa8nlap Lllcrnb e aplnlcl '*aay ot s?uryT pue qsp.uef.JnosB sr TJod\rededeqr qtr^\ op ot tBr{A\lno Suun8rg IIIZVUS UO Ardnrs 'XZVI JON r^'t. eq ot peeu noL fuo8etef.Je osle notr'sldreoeJ pJBf.o eapl elqBuoseeJ eABqplnoqs no.{em leer8 B eq uec rapro IIBIAT PUB3lueu rnor{ Pasel{3rndaneq or{r!\ saruedruof. Aluo eql 'sr uorlezrue8ro s(ler{t pue ueld € rltrl\{ 8ur>pom oJ(notr 'JapJosrp>potuaded.o ef.e lnd 'os Jo 11e {aal\ B JoC Ileru eqr uaqnl Lep Lrang :uge8y {ooqelo51 Euruueld rnotr asfl 'ue1d B peau nolv' juaua&uunyl 'rerunoc rno[ uo u^\or8 aneg or sreded ure] alld ra4Dd qtlr!\ IBep oJ Jo -unotu e JoJot\t Jo Lep e B uBql eJolu aIBl t(useop 1l JIesJno.re1 qtln\ euoq elrrrB .l1 :setro8etef.nyryroJ prlqr B elld trets ot tuBA\ rq8nu no.r rroq] pug teqt sSoleleoe^rJro rno.f. 'Sopteo repJo lleru euo ruog repro nor{ se uoos sV isexoqlleul rno ur Sutntue sdeal >pomaded eqr tng-sJededszneu pue seutze8eurlaf.{.{eru tlperf...o ef. 10u Jo Jaqleql6 's.snu etelnrunf.Brtslp aqr 8ur 'sserppe -lEuItuIIE 'doqs ot reCCV uB ro.

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Fe1n8ar esnlsnru no.797.n1y IIBq tuory eqt ur 'retunoo ueqctrl eqt uo lleul rno.{auu-eur} euosaq III/r\uets^s rno.3ur1aqe1 qsrurJ saurll PeFPeqts le {ro/$rade4 rnol qrlrh leel l :g# elnu IBUIPTBC 'reploJeuo ur rarlreSor rarpo deal rng 'eleredasesoqldeel ot lue/r\ rq8tur nof 'roop aqr lno . aA(oA\ e1tr pue l.i.eleredes deal ot tuBd\ rnor{ur sruetrpetEIeJ puB stueuenordtul euoq }o spJof.i.1 'cla 'scruoJtf.aqd 8urxe1fuad ecuauedxa aqr B rno.n serldrrlntupue speerds rr-r1rcrn.{ ellJ Sururocur III^.erpereleJ-aruor{ no.eceld eql ot {ro/n IIeu rno. sreplo.( uedo JeAaNl'aceds aJr#o rno.'gSnogr'qcnru oot suorsl^lP 'Suuadre: 'tuerudrnba no.ot\t Jo euo ur suall Jo sprooer ool petelareseqldnor8ot relleg aq Llqeqordplnot\ rI 'petecrldruof.o ecardfuanaSulltJpuB sreplo.INVat\ nol .erdlerenes uado Jo seArJJB uoq/\l. xel euoq deal ot Beplpoo8 B s(tlef.ueurg/auog qree ro. lr 'iJo^/\ ot uesoqc an.IleqC 'ryoznreded lleru pue B rno.rzvuc uo ardrus'LZvaroN h{. 'ure8B IoJtuoJ Jo tno 'euroq re8 noL ueq/v\elld.noL tnoK Suro8uouB uo 4t"ornt"aQn{ \i!n nauuo] lueru t.i.tlluetsrsuof.srurpue uo lreur Sunuocul e{Bt s.noL roC 'pezrue8ro oq ot pardurareq l(uoq oot alduqs l! daay 27# el]l-u FuIPreJ 'Suueeder stuBrrel!\ rnq 'sn1tples [pearle tl nor{ A\Ou)I '.(em rnor{ uo sef.taQn4 to an?v14 Jo uoueruou 'slqr op ot ueld cgyceds o{Eru .uop no[ y1'srseq -ruroddeu€ ur lycuedpu€ elnpeqcsrno.ns areld etuBs eqr uI {ro^rrade4 rno^ eIPueH saenly :?# elnu leulprec snonsesrp peads Surqsruotse pue isrlnser eqt gtl. 11es ueqA\sesofund JoJstueuranordrur nol.ur plnoqs no1 ryol\raded rnor{ Surlpueq sl.'asnoqrnol.ele arecuaBI 'secuerldde -ruell dael plnol no 'ellj lerf.(.{ q8norqf drg noL }I 'unr" arry ro -raded snoeuellef.tssaur e Lq pareer8 eq IIIIr Iae' or ur8eq II.eznle rrqer{ B a>lBru }o 'eurtnor B pue Suruueld 1n.\no.i.y taded.urs 'sreplo.rq8noqt uo spuedep uorlezrue8ro 'eldruexa Llqeqord11.f.i.{ 'uSrsep tl il.{e.{uaqa tnoqe uorsroep e{Btu Aleterpaurrur 'Surrros noL rer.

o ear8apeqt asn 'radedyo ecardfuaneot JotJBJ acueuodurr ue u8rsse peau nol 'ryomrededsrq] Jo uorsnjuooeqt grlm ot leep oJ 'tuerue8euetlq sseln{ esoqtgtl. no^ . lueuetuJedrnor{Jo aJBJ ua1Bt en.!\oq >lJBJl ruals. -lpnI eperuLpeerlean.uec nod pue tl uo uortf.o ecardqf.lreql.Suruossrgl op noL sy Jo 'r.eelBr t(uBf.t11eer Surqtotuos LeruuepreS no.Bedruetsetepplnoc no[ 'eldurBxe . terlt dessuedxauouezrue8ro Aue14.ue la8 er{r l(uo^\ spee/K tnq 'op plnoqs .tueuodul :allJoCIoI rno[ ur 1ro^\Jaded eleJedas aql ol l.eq rededyo eoerd rno.q o3 sdepeqt sBrstrorls l.( eq ra^\ol' 'sdtuels elBPur perededllern seuof. ro.nor( 'ruetJodrurun lluetrodul eq [eru lasuodser ]l e Surpuad-tueuodul luoos eruu etuosuo lf..Jr Surp. Surpaen aqr op or pllql pooqroqg8reuE arrH 'l.noA teqt A{oN luerue8eueurstwelld redsd puB s(oo oI SAOHIEI{ CNV SCINVHCAhI :NOIIVZINVCUO NI CCV IO SCIhIVN^CI .(.tr'1q3rs Jo tno s( roC aql ueaq en.o sacerd tuetrodrurun .asrsturlueuaSeuBtueurDJo suelgord araq^rsr $qI 'e11d oI lnsd-uorleaue8rosrp oC Jo ecrnosfueuud aql qtrll\ IEepol 'tueJsLs elult s.tog.uo iulp Jo teeJrqSrerepun preLaqt ur tr 8ur/.s elun ot urTBag uBO B ur .{ 3urpea41'llB tB rsrl rnol.B dllcrnb uec noAos {Jot\rededlueuodrul slqr lnd ol ereq^\tno ern8g ot aABr{ nod zno51 :sseJrv pue e8uJo1slnoqv uorsl'ao e e{eI^I isrequo puB lsrl rnoLJJoqol eqr ra8 ueo no[ os nol.o acardeurBs Surpgnqs .n Jo ePIIIo? ueuo puB tf.{ueruel€q t.f.i. salult [ueu A\oqpue Buol .l1eqLe61iselull fueru ool palpuBq uaeq s.92 -JetlBetuosgtlrn dn eruocot peeu Aeruno[ '1rop 01n aas paeu noL.B Jsnru-lueuodrur lllou uo tcB tsntu. eepl os learSB sr srqt eJns tou oJ(e/x\ elrJeql ur JeploJ .a1 reded.(eme ellJ SurqrauosSurDnd'reCIeV uB 'teurqBJ ro..rene reded.eyrl oCI re8 Jo ot etun ot lercedsB elnpeqf.1 'suorsrceP eruos e{Bru or nod rdruord III^\ }l 'puoceg 'radedeqt }o tdrecarJo erep ar{r lueurnrop IIIA\t1 'lsJlg 'sasofund o^\t se^res sn{I 'tl alpuBgnoL elull .cue8rn. uo eq plnoqs qot egr reqtar{^\uorl 'e11d oJ rnoA tno puB paqslulJqot aqr -senb ol arun s.1 01 'lr e^elJteJ t.{s ot 8ur>Feru pul{ eurosesn.€.uplnoqs nor{'uBJ qseJtrnodJo asnsnorf.i.putru jo tno s. B uI tl rnd plnotls ssef.

{ur perotseq t.i./tuerrodrul rnoL roJ sta1sag sEeerqt esn 'stelseqrnoJSursn uI .o sqtdap eqt tn Surprser pBetsul'sauo8etel nualrc4w! rnol qf.{ os elqBtJod Suraq iro/r\ BJtxeeplnord ot ISOP rI 'Iro/KradedSurpuedpue tuetrodurr rno[ .ureJorueq 11.LZV-I rON h{(l NVEI^I nOA . eqJ '>poznreded pue 'uoog/ruerrodrul luetrodurl aqdeyrl 'nrop.{ pue eqt dn ro .1 3qe{seg fno/ul eABr{ 'lduord IBnsIA B se tf.s }l 'runrululru e ot reunp ecrlJosdael pue U lrol!\reded Jo rol B sarots .e'le >pomreded ruooJeqt ssoJce ot tl eJoJeq {lBA4. sl re{seq oqt teq^{ noL purruarot qr€a uo IeqBIe tnd 'IroA\ -radedasuodsag 3urrre16/euoq[peerly rno.uplp rr .rnJes sreLgJo spJBJ sseursnq Jo roj salrJ rnoASursnaq lq8rur notr :sa8ed /rlolle Fuosred tueuer.Sury.b9Z 'rer{lreteurqer Sutlt}rno.eq Ja^eLeqt JI ruer{tur SuusenurJeprsuof.1 'eceds rno.o >lf.nod salotsJo sef..rJJns nod.rr'dorlsep rno.nq t(uop noL.ured ielqnort qf.(uo ecedstuerf. elrJ e.]Bruot suortf.uplnoqsLlqeqordl1 'ryorvueded 'erntn} oc oI rno.i dlaq uer tl 'teeu {ool rou rq8nu lnernureld .B ot le^el eLate preoq urtellnq rno.B pue ueesdllpeeraq UBJsa8esseur setouSurpuad rnoL 'dorlsap rno.o rsn8B lltun tsBOI le-Iro^\ rq8rurselyd petrossreded 'alqBIrB^E eruof.{gll.a Lpelncruedt(ueresa11d ecurs 'rre eqt q8norql Surreogrueqr spues ur Surdaa.-sse18 sa8etue^pe eesLlerru -lJePuBf.{ 'qrrno.uplnoqsuortBruro}ur Jo pql snlr qSnoqlH eqt ut erun eruospeeu 11. rnol. e or 'setelnluncf.{ 3uep1'pesserf.noL rnoL tB eJB sep.(1ndol peurlf.o '*oq ellJB ro.rnoL.B /. SurneH 'sdrtraBurl rno.alrj eqt ot selueu Irol!\ IIIIKsuollsaSSns IIIZVUC UO Ordnrs '.tr pulrn.{uo ruoor e^Bq auo . dorlsap rno. rno.{1uo urersl.1 'reA\Brp dor eqt relo s8ueqtBql e.n eq t.o esuedxe JeAoaJueprser 8ur>1et teurqeJey.o eql rg8nu pue steulQec petuor. esaqrJo euo sdeqra4'teurqef.tjJo ll e^oru uer no.{lruercr3ga 'lryesnsr teurqec ellJ € 'uorlsanbtnoqtrlN :elld dol4saq rl 'ro.nrx oot eq LerutaurqBf.Brl ur salrjSurdee>1 q8noqlly 'a1gdotlsep B sr Surgrtsaqtxeu eqt 'tuero -r.o e8elue^pepappBeqr sBr{ Jeueq dael Jo rnoJul rl epl^lc 'prBoquuellng e SurSueq reprsuoc 3Preog upellng 'no[ ro.3/N\ ]ear8E eq plno^\ i3u[pfua ^e 4pl\ r.{ro} sl 'n4sngBuryua4 ro.i.

.o ddocrnoi j"A "o. uI 'uoltezlue8rosrp JB^\Jno ur ierlre8or eqt uo {ro^ uec }ueru -e8eueyrl a1l4rade4/sseyrl pue fuorualnJ ^\oq reprsuof.ure3e pue etult JlesrlSurreedar orrBuers Surxeldred srqr tBrlt pulj sreccv Lue14 ' ' 'ur8egot /!\oq enlf. leqr azrlear no[ teruslp rnoA o^t qrnl4J .o aarSap Jo sselpJeSeg eqr 'luauaSvuntu .l .{puarcrge e^Bqnol.d.ratdeqc Ktoruau Jeqto 1B Jo senssr {ool II.rade..rrrlr[s aqr erntdecerot 8urfut selrJ rno.r. u8tsopot uauo sr Btuurellp or esuodser eqt rng .uoo no1 t"al\4aamauo 'afrF autDs oi aWC a\t 'ace1d redord stl ur Surqrdra""p?ltJ.L!e e dn erou V .eueu l.Ironreded.{seeun o] urSeqpuB reDal tsrrJaqr uedo lee} no1 'urB8e 1:om lll/r\ tuets[s lear8 rnod ]eqt a8palnoul eqr ur arnf.oruaru JeDeq paeu e^\-tuelsr{srettaq E poau[11ear B ](uop ey]\ mau irualsds Jaqloue lal. esnecag JlasrnoLiopnord ernb IeeJpye eceds rnod punoreIool no1 .srduroi.repun -eJol elqBeq lou derunol 'sdelsqcrod rnod pexlJor{rv\ retuedreceql 'uoterJsre^lv uqo[_1pco] paeu nod uaq/N .t aqt ef.{s rno.sno.{ rB lro^\ ol e^Bqno[ 'peaue8roJa]teqeq oI 'fuouraur puB uortuane Jo stuau -odruoc eql uo ruapuedap Lla8relsr rueue8eueyq a1l4radecl pue ssel\ .i srql PIp eraqn lsnl PUV llee^\ ]sBIetor..ea 3u1aao11o.lrssenl pue z{.3).rl -resLq [llecrraqeqdleserr]uernof rsrl ot eepl poo8 B ag .{ . pue Surrros seroqf.irl parrdua nod eunt ts€l aqt derr eqr IIIJaT ot peJegtuetueJ SununssB-euo ta8 puB Jezeeu ot o3 nol. Surpuad alr.Iee^\ rsel pau8rsep noL siacordrrr".roura. s(tal .q 'sratuafuBJ JoJ rulg pulj or JersBe B s(tl .palnpeqcs jo rno[ uiaeq llruapr. B e^Eq t(uop nol.auBu sly Jeqr.992 rno^ tnd ot tue/v\ngd^uaql6..q uegl reqter ef.uau lol .a8n4 malla1luuosLad les ot ag lq8nu ruarsds-lryasn SCIOHIAI^{ ONV SCINVH3AI { :NOIIVZINVOUC} NI CCV cO SsIy\VNAo .{uef.LtarxueBursBeJour qrlrN lell.rue tuB/v\ uaqzn'uortezrueSrosrp nor{ rnod.o sjpd'.eqnc[ dlnbur eqt o] asuodsar grl/K op no[ plnoqs rBqrN '. -as '8urp.san3 lueura8euel\I eIId .{n1 t8f"i t1 -Ja. . oCIoI aqt ro ur oBrl pKI i&nbur reqr.ierne 'go SqltJ pue dn Suruarq8rBrts BuuealcuoourauBerrtueuB puadsnotr 8ur irerlrureJ {ool sauecs -^{ollo} eqt oc 'sllBtapeqt qtr^r op o1 teq^\ ol UESIAIEI/{11U aneq nod tanoerol4 'IsBr aqrjo sllerepar{r or puaue puB urers.

{ dl".osauo8atef.{eru 'A\oJJoruor eqt tJEtsaJ .(punoJepeards or Surgrtsaqtxeu eqt eq III^{ rql rnor{'rl op or tl eesot peeunoL. log rnol. erurt etsenr osle .o uorrdrJf.LZVaroN h{.{'11 lsaceld 'petnlo^uor eroru roj razseu3qt ur Iool J(uo^\.ruetsLs Jno 'Surpoc-Jolof. oleru no^ auIlt Lue fsrl rno/.B ol no/.(asnetagelr.(q Llleoueqeqdle lBuosrsd a8erots eql alqrssod asnBf.nozi. asnoqrno[ JI 'sue]r [auoru ro.{ rq8ru teqt rdruord reqtouv :Eu1po3.tuo spueq rec '. ryozmaded.\ uo 8ur>Fom PUB u^\op lol ol ]l esn 'ISBIBJo elppru aqt ur 3urryom tnoqe setoueruos dots ol e^Bqno[ ueq.{s B Sutlg. eql aJeq/!\ eJB eor /v\ou>[ no1 tueqt ssef.{'reneznoq'elll] rno. nau>1 no.e raqto '{ueurur {ool rq8ru no.ualsds * esfl 'rr SuropeJe^\noL moq pue qsrldluof.o crued lsrl SuruunJ daal ot peeudeurnoz( eqt tualard o1 :ure8y lro t ol {ooqeloN Euluuuld rnol lnd iuoos tl peeu plnon\ nol. lllrs sl qol relnclrredeq] Jo ssecord aql ellqlN 'Peqsrurjeq ol sPaeu al.f.t ot sa8uer{f. afepdnot aJnseg 'replo.v\oq.r'{pueq ur seluof.sep nol. e^Br{. uaqm 'osrunJaqlo ot qof tror{sB etrr^\ 'prl* rnoL ur JBelf.osle1ooqelou SuruueldJno 'erurt rnoL gflrlr op ot s8urqfSurssard eJolu e^Bqdlqeqordnol. Alluercrga sr eJour pepoc-Jolof. tBq^\ IIIISrBr{1\.992 'selu^\olle^ ur-uortBtueurncop esuedxo 'sraded a8e8uoru-sruetl pateleJesnoqIIB uoneloueJ pue seuueJJezn sr lnd ot luBA\rg8rur noL 'mo11a/.f. sreplojuear8ro sleqeluaar8asn IBIruBurJ aqt fuen rq8nu no1 'alpueq nol.roloC Jo r.(eurno1 'paqslulj 8ur/.(Jo eurltno pe]Bp ro B o{BIAI'sellJ lueueruradpue tuerrnc rno[ q]oq ]o stuetuor aqr Jo 'stno{lelq ruels. 1un1t e^\ 'znoqeuros em i{ro/\r plno^\ tBr{t esoddns 'reded frane ]o uoueool aqt ozrJoruoru trs ot arurt aqt eIBt JeqteJ puB AllecrsLqd salgrnoASurnerl p.i pKI :eluBu.1 'sJeplojrno.noLyl '^\arl ureld ur no.Bld -tetu e8erotseruesaqt ruo{ tuaJalJlpLlallua uB sr altn JBr eqJ 'ece1d Llpaleaderno[ esneceq seqnf.eJ nol 'aul] txeu ryo^\ or lceq ra8 qo[ J(use1r\ aql ]Bqt ueuo8ro.{repun ll allJno..rt eJeA\ leqznSuncnrlsuof.eq ral 1l alu noL ptc 'elqBraunuurerBsef.1NVEIAI UO nOA IiAZVUC qrdnrs .(lqeqordnortqSnoqrlv llqereplsuoJeq LeruqoJeas rno. ot Surprocce uBf. ryom no.lrane s]uetuor er{t u^\op Surllol (sellJ rno. q tl a1gnoL plc iellc auoH eql ur ro ellc 'a1lc esnodS rno. uaer8 -uorteruroJur puB Sutqueqro.

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" can rememberto buy the cookiesfor the classroom Teacher Plan Books Are Useful Time Management Tools: The bestare large.birthday reminders anything elseyou want to keepwith your weekly organizer. out an advancereminder.With. Although we suggest need to decidehow much structureyou need. I'm always the go and need somethingI can take alongon my travels. 'lflhenever you schedulesomethingthat involves can make you'll that you start with half-hour time segments. You can add your own datesand usethe subjectcolumn for divisions of time. Will you needto makeprovisions the family while you're And how about the emergency gone? What about calling a baby-sitter? If will need? you frequentlyhop in your car only numbersthe baby-sitter 772 .8 ll} xl1-inch spiralbound booksthat open to display pages by segmenred subjectand daysof the week.When I'm out shopping.Your time sheetcan help for you compensate a faulty internal timeclock. Since they aren't formatted. Many computer softwareprogramsoffer pre. it's too late to senda card or gift! on A portableplanner worksbestfor me. Strrcttrre Your Planning with Daily Time Sheets: Time sheetsare that managetime by the hour rather highly srructureddaily calendars than by the day and date.You MreN I'v Nor Lnzv.You can usethesepages frequently called phone numor bers. you don't have access formatteddaily calendars your own.SruptoOn Cnazv?! of the year is a great ideabut it doesn'tsolvethe whole can designtime framesthat match your needs.I party tomorrow. Th"y alsohave with sufficientspaceto write miscellaneous nores.Don't leaveout anything! \Uill you need to weara particularoutfit?Add it for ro your list.get out your planning notebookand make a list of everythingyou'll need. these.There is often a small sectionnext to eachrow of boxesto jot down notesfor the coming week.Unfortunately.There are often extra pagesin the back for recordingstudent for attendance.I would regularlyreadthe current day'sentries and discoverthat TODAY is the big day. to If and time sheets.

An interestingexperimentto evaluateyour time sense to jot down is your "starting time" guess you go through this process. before After you makeyour list and completeyour backwardtime entries. you'll know precisely when you need to begin gerringreadyfor your appointment.rum on the porch light. Our bet is that you'll discoveryou were pretty far off! Compile Master Lists of Reminders: Consider making a masterlist for recurringappointments.If you tend to grossly .seehow closeyou were to your guess. A lack of planning usuallycauses overwhelmingfeelingsof disorganization. entering each item on your list in an esrimared block of time.triple your estimate!\Urite the time of the evenr on your time sheetand work backwards. Put your reminder list in a logical order. turn off the"r. etc.the readiness steps becomemore automatic. \fhen you've finished rhis process.make a list and post it at your door. 273 .srimare preparationtimes. the baby-sitter's Put phone list emergency in the kitchen cabinetso it will be there everytime you need it.Over time. tum on the answeringmachine. Keep a vacationchecklistin your file. \Uhen you think things through and make detailedlists. leave a note for your son. you'll probablydiscover that you can accomplishthe planning stepsmore quickly as they become habits.r.add a note ro your list to ger gas.estimarehow long each item will take and doubleyour estimate. Include the things you need to do wheneveryou go our: put the dog in the basement. Compile "Everyday.DyNnvrcsOr ADD IN OnceNrZATroN: MEcuRNrcs ANo MprHons to discoverthat the gastank is empty. Get out the Door" Master Lists: How many times do you spendyour car trip across town trying to rememberwhether you turned off the iron and turned on the porch lightl Rather than relying on your memory. aggravation and the wrath of a bosswho impatiently sits in the conference room waiting for your late arrival. Although this preplanningmay initially take extra rime. so you don't have ro srartfrom scratcheachtime. ir will ultimately saveyou time.

You MreN I'v Nor Lezv. You won't have to rememberthesedetailsevery time you get readyto leave. they will saveyou time. Make somemasterforms etc. Prepare Duplicated "School" Master Lists: If you have school-age children.Your forms may not be personal. A generic"pleaseexcuse for Zachary's absence" can be madewith spaces names.your note is finishedmore quickly than if you had to composea new note for every occasion. absences. but ) ) . specialafter schoolbuschanges.datesand reason. A quick by look at your list asyou head out the door will shavepreciousminutes off your preparationtime.A quick fill-in-the-blank later.You won't have to wastetime racing back home to saveyour computerfrom getting zapped the thunder storm and lightning that hits.SruproOn Cnnzv?! Taking the time to think through your routine and write it down will savemuch time and aggravationin the long run. you undoubtedlywrite many notes for field trip permissions. for asmany of theseactivities asyou can.

Plan a break at that point and resetthe alarm.rhe time and date of the call and any nores that can set alarmsto ring every hour or at the sametime every won't have to take it off. Dependingon the style. \7i!h_t someingenuity. He keepsa supply_of stenopadsat his work site and alsoby everytelephgne and chair wherehe may sit. he has been able to access phone number he a would otherwise have lost.This srenobook is a permanenrrecord he can refer to wheneverite needsto rememberth" d.Ai the the of ?.one ADDer we know r. of Even the bestsystem the world is put to the test by distractibility.t"ils of a particular call. You can accomplishthe samething with an alarm clock but your watch is portable.ulV of us get side-tracked because ideaskeep popping inro our brains. It's one less thing you have to keep track of and it can prevenrcold showers. You know what happens-you hop in for a quiCkfive minute showerand emerge shiveringthirry minutes later when your hot water tank is empty! I. He startsa new dated list every day. He uses one exclusivelyfor the'phone callshe receives.r*r tt". he jots down the name an_d nhone number. More than once.index cards and his distractibilityro accomplish wonderfulthings.Jsestenographer Pads and Large Index cards: Aren't index cards the awful things we were instructedto usewhen we had to write a research paper? They were supposed help us organizeour ideasbut to often endedup being_used paperairplanes! rpit" of any negative as In experiences _may you have had using pads.You can usean alarm waich asa reminder for appointmentsor ro keep yourselfon track.DvNnurcs ADD IN oncaNrZATroN: or MrcHaNrcs ANo MrrHons Buy a (waterproof) Watch with an Alarm: Alarm warchesare wonderful. If your watch is waterproof.75 . index cardscan helf with organization thoughtsand daily details. Set it to ring in a reasonable amount of time and then make a decision to work at leastuntil the alarm rings.He checksoff eachcall after he returnsit. He alsouses stenopadsfor jotting down ideas. in M. \Theneverhe makesor takesa call. His work is only briefly interruptedashe captures essence his ideason paper.

Instead. The key in usingstenopads. Our photographerfriend'ssystemmay be helpful for you.Although ADDers tend 276 . Schedule Telephone Callback Times: Schedulespecifictimes to to make or return phone calls. categorizing them ashe goes.SruptoOn Cnezv?! he his end of a work session. In the middle of writing checks.Rather than readingoutdatedmagwhy don't you write your letter while you wait?It's something azines. Since you don't have a secretary screen your calls.don't stop to make the hair appointment jot you just remembered. And the index card systemcan enableyou to usediswithout interfering with the task tracting thoughts to your advantage at hand. with you to work on while you wait for the red light to tum green! But what about the time you spendin the waiting room?You'vebeen wanting to write a letter to your friend who moved out of town. '!7e That could aren't suggesting that you scheduleyour life to excess.Are there periodsof lost time?\7hat about the waiting room in the doctor's office?How about the commercialsduring the TV programyou were watching? Seehow much time you can find. you've been unable to find the time to will have to come up with your own screeningscript. Tell the caller that you'rein a meetingand will call him back.You MEnNI'rnr Not Lnzv. transfers random thoughts to index cards.He files his index cardsalphabetically when he addsnew ideasto existing cards until his next work session or creates new ones. The steno telephonerecord can act asa backup to your phone number directory and To Do list.Don't worry about lying.a planning notebookor post-it notesis to usethem to keep yourselfon track and to regulateyour impulsivity. You are in a meeting-a meetingwith yourself! Discover ttFound" Time: Take another look at your time diary. Stnrcture Procrastination to Your Advantage: Procrastination is the number one enemyof Time Management. It's been on your To Do list for weeks. You don't want to carry your pending file around be quite depressing. yourselfa note asa reminderand immediatelyget back to work.

Get out whatevertime organizer you're usingand write down the deadlinefor your job. But StructuredProcrastination might be worth a shot.The saferstrategies shouldbe your first line of know that organization dependenton memoryand attention. The unfortunatereality is that many peoplework bestwhen deadlines loom. This is contrary to conventional wisdom. 'We've usedmany "absolutes" this discussion structured in procrastiof nation because this is a risky sffaregy. you can structureyour taskby purposely waiting until the last minute.Figureout the absoluteshortesttime you can reasonably expectto be able to accomplisha parricularjob. \7e've considered time and space distinct organizational as processes. must be able to attend in the first place. As the deadlinegetscloser. 277 .k's usuallybetter to plan extra time rather than lesstime ro ger things done. If you know your limits and arefairly good ar estimatingtime.DyNavrcsOr ADD IN OncnNrZATroN: MrcHaNrcs ANo MErHoos to procrastinate more than our non-ADD counterparts. They're is all interrelated-organizationstrategies dependon your remembering. one is imno mune from the Perilof ProcrastinationJ What if we make this enemy our friend?What if we makeit an advantage rather than a disadvantage? \7e really do need to prefacethis suggesrion with a warning ro useir at your own risk! It's possible capitalize procrastination it into on but volvesVERY carefulplanning. Then be prepared do nothing elsebut use to your pumpedup energyto finish the job.we'll continue our discussion examining the other two by partsof this interrelationship. energy goesinto overdriveand tasksarecrankedout at astonishing speed. We would suggest that you rry this asa last ditch effort. Then add a seconddeadline-the absolutelatest time you can possiblystart working on your task.So you probably ought to try usingstructured procrastination a job that won't yield for disastrous resuksif it doesn'rger finishedl This is how it works. If you recall from the diagramat the beginningof the chapter. the adrenaline startsflowing.In the you next chapter. And to remember.You absolutely musrhave everythingelseclearedoff your daily time sheetfor the startingdeadline you'veestablished.

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b87. pue sllHs tBrll6,2el&sBurureel ierrnbf,eLyseenoL op uorletuJo;ur JBInf,rUBd rnod sr lBrL/K'Surureel aporrrlenpl^lpul rnol, az,{1eue Jo noL dlaq ol selr{ts Surureal JarlJBe puedxe ot tuBA\e/X\ Jno Jo uorssnosrp sal&S Eugu.real 'el,{rsSurureal eql IBnPI^lPur 0l SuturealJo epotu aqt Surqf,teru [qurnat Sulunal eql Jo sseuenr]f,eJJe 3ql e^oJdrur sr Le1 eqI '8urop ro Suraas tsequrBal oq^\ esoql ot ,{q roJ e^rtf,a#auls(trlng 'apolu srqt uI lsaq urBel puB reqrueurer aldoed etuos 'elltf,aJ$aut [11ero] Sutualsrldq Surureelteqt tou s(tl 'srrorJep sI rSlcads lnoqllA{ asoqrSurpnlcut'sleureall,ueurJoJenrloage,{pelncrtred J(usISurqoealdem.euo',tlateunuoJun 'SuruetsrlLq e8pal^{ou>l alnbce ol Jno-Surqceat ,{ezn-auo PetcedxaerarnaA\PuBPe{lel sJolcnJlsur tlSnorql ((peureel,, Jo ,iueyrl'Suruatstl sn ueryosr Burureel qtlr\,\perenba 'q8noua ,{ltuatsrsuof, ruJoJJed g8noue 3uo1snf,o}Jno ureturetu ro 'q8nouarse;a8pel^rouT ssef,oJd Jno JeqtBJ l,uec eA\ 'af,ueruroyedJo tnq 'asrad 'Surureal sulalqordJnO '/r\ou>I req/t\ a/r\ Jo seuotou ueuo eJB ateJtsuoruep alqe sLemle ot t(uale ed\lBqt $ sn;o [ueru ro; l,rlncl]Jlpaqa 'Lt11tqe A\olspue ef,uBruroyad Jo {lBI rno[ o] etull uorrf,BeJ luelslsuocut rno,{ afnglulB ^(eur sJa{Jo/r\of, rno,{ 'l1npeue puB asnods sy 'SurureelJo IoBI B sBseper8 rnod rsat 3uy11e; pararfuetursrur ueuo srsqrBetrnoz{'plF{l B are^\nod uet141'op l(uop ro 'op noAteq/|-drralr -cnpordrnol, l,q lnq 'urerq rnor{aplsq ,furec nod e8pel/lrou1 esnor{ Jo -erotsetll dq lou pessesse ^{,11ucld& slenelSururealpue e8pal,roql erB 'peq e^BrlLeu noL srualqord Sururealeqr puersJepun a8pal,r.ou{^\eu rnol Sursnar,noi(edoq a16 or eqr pJo/r\ Jo uorluetu eJatuaqr rB pueJp;o 8ur1ea; a^Bq B i,,8ulureal,, [eru nod 'ranelq]erepunJo IaqBIeqr grl,n eurlreJlle tueds en,no[ JI .aJII L11ep rno[ uI ]no deld suorloeuuof,retur /troqpuetsrepunrellaq uer eqt no,{ 'Sutuleel leraue8Jo auo ol fuoruaur ldacuoc arlt e8relueelr\JI Jo raqlo aqf fnorDIA\ euo e eH l,uu3 noa-Equree.I pue d.roure;,q 'slr{t Suropro; 'retdeqceqt uI JelB-l'$lf,rJt,{roruaru seepletuostB dolarrep Iool ll,err\ o1 er{t ll esnuBf,nor{'lseSuoJts $ sauouawrnol,Jo qcrqA{/t\ou>I no,t;l tagrrng 'snf,oJ gtlrtt ore3iratur suortcertsrp earululru ol sdatse{Bl eqt leql
'LZv'lroN hr,lNvahlno^ ii^Z\^Ic uo ardrus

Lq s^\ouI Ir Surees Surqteuros 'cte'sqder8 'surer8etp 'serntctd:suouelueserdal lensrl grlm selou se{Bl s8utqrJequeueJot uonBzrlensrn sesn eqr punor8>1tBq ur 3ur>11er aldoadro esrou[q pareeusrp lpulncrrred sr a8en8uel [poq s,raleads qttetr dlesolcot speeu eqr puBuorssardxa IBIoBJ sernlctdolur lndur IBqJaA ((selEISuBJJ,, f,1^o1, tndur,i;otrpnesassecord serntf,el3urrro110; ^r1ncrilrpseq
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stuarselope SururBal {ooq rreqt ruoU paldepeueqc 8ur roJ pelqesrp -/v\olloJ aql 'se1,{,rs Surureel stusruBr{f,eur aroldxaursradleleuuea[ aqr Jo 'looq rraqt u1 '[eznsrqr pue reQleqls BrBqrBg'1nnuarc48ur4copn fuosuas tsequreel sJeCCV ^ueuJ-sleuueqf, eerql IIB sesnoq/t\ Jer.rreel -lllnu B eq ,{erunol, rg 'sleuuBqf, Jo uortBulQruoc Jo leuuBqf,euo oA\t e [11enrnru g8norqr tsequreel leut no1 'anrsnlf,xe ](uare se1fisSurureal 'dematuosur erB perredurr sleuueqcreqto eqt ssalun-fiurssecordpue Surlulqr .Lapro uI tay87y tueuodrur ssaleJ€tnq uorteruJolurtuetrodrur eplnord op etsel er{J 'sleuueqf, f,rteqtseul)t ro/pue fuolrpne'lensrn pue Ilorus,o esuas q8norqr eceldselel Surureal pue rsory '8ur11arus Surrsel'(lauueqc rrteql -saut1/altrcer) fuolypne) Surqonol'(lauueqc Suueeq'(leuueqc lensr) i(q e^rj Suraas :sesuas rno q8norql ureel IIB erA.;nol,JoJrseqIJo^r teql /KerAeJ s(ta'I Sururealreq/vr (s)euo eqt tno arn8r;nod op ^,\oH'are sa1'{ts 'a1l,rs Surureelpaue;erdrno,{ ol tueqt r{f,teurnori;l Lluo eAItf,eJJe III/I\ sJetsuoru eq aoeds pue eurl rnol, aruetot esnnor{s>1cul pue sdrreqJ 'uortezrue8ro pue fuotueu qtr^{ peutd\uetur sr Surureal 'aJII q rnq loorlf,sur Lluo lou tuetrodun sr Surureel eporuperrej Jo -ard rno/.Surpuetsrapufl;Surltes ter{^\ur pue lseq ureel noL op /v\oH

rnoA oresn noz( eruos pe'a;ard eurrurarep uec sanrc dl"tHfft$TJ

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Jot{cuB eoueuuoyed((uo-spueg,, esues ot dpoq srq sasn pue senr^rtsB puB slrodsur petBurproof,.lled\ sr lecrs,iqd uorlsalrP,o ssues tuellaf,xauB sBq ' rerrree-I rlreqlseulx/elllrB'L eql s^rou1 l1 Suueeq^q Surgreruos spJon\ ua>1ods uo snf,oJ a8en8uel eql ot Lpoq s,re>1eads serou8r eqt sr Ilnurls lBnsr^[q perrer]srp spJonue4odsolur sernlcrd((selBlsueJl,, fuouraruul tl Jorloueol uortetuJoJul ueltrJ/$ezrleool ol serl [1no1s sessecord lndur IBnsrA
lBluJoJ eJnlf,el B uI lsag sulBel

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senbruqrel L.rourayl dn Euluna
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aqt Jo sllerep aqt IIB euISBuI ot llasrnoL molle pue ItBq tts 'aurog rnol 'no[ ]sure3e peetsur no,( Jo] Jo uoJruof, eqt u1 ]o IJo^\ ot uortedrf,uue eqt esn 'tJets ot eoeld e epIAoJd uec ,i.rourerugtlrtt sereletul Alalxue r€qt Surpuutsrepunrnq ualqord srqr ot uoltnlos aldruls B t(usl areqJ 'ure8e-Llqeresrru IIB, II,aH Jlesrl teader lllm [rotsrq pue erur] slq Suorrn eqt tB tno {uBIq II,oH '{Jo/v\t(uod\ fuouraru f,rteJJe tBqt part}J -ret s(aH 'lq8p; a8els;o ear8ap Burz,{1ered acueuedxe uer reOCV e uB lng 'pBerpJo esuosB rl]r/v\Sulleeds crlqnd qreordde aldoed Jo sto'I ol ,,'ri,BS Suro8 ar,nof lgr{.r re8ro; sLenle no[ mou{ no1 ir] /v\olq ol SuroB eJ(no ,, :u^\o str jo spJol\{gtlrlr Sutlltj sr ureJq rno,{ 'qtnour rno[ Jo rno spJo/!\eqr Surrra8 ur8aq no[ sy 'Surpunod sr ueeq rno[ pue Sururnqf, sr rloeruo]s rnoL '8ur1egs eJBspuer{ Jno i((tno {uBI9,, o1 l,1uouortBtuasard selesrno[ peue]s noA erreg sarurl [ueru ^\oH :r{..roura;41 IIII A sere}relq leql &aTxuv aql ezlwlqnt '8uteq-11ed\ Ieuoltorue leraue8 rno[ oslB pue Lroruaur rnoA anordrur ol elnpaqcs L11ep rno[;o rred B ]r aTBIN'LpelnBertr esn pue noL ro; IIer!\ $lro/v\ teqr uals[s B pul; or rirl 'lcafqns eq] uo sadel pue slooq Jo Jequnu B ur peurltno eJBpu€ sJetuecSurureal dllunruuror pue uortBeJf,eJur peJal;o eJEsesJnocSurureJt uonBXBIeJJo spur1 snorJBA 'uorlBJluef,uof, 9llrn eJeJJel -uI leqt srq8noqr qtr/r\ uonednccoard ruog dpoq pue pullu rno.( eer; UBJ uorlezrlensrl ro SurgreeJqdaep 'uorlexeleJ alf,snurenrsserSord;o senbrurlcet eqJ 'senbruqoet uortexeler snorJBA SursnJo rrgeq er{t ur teC 'JeqrueueJ PUB elBJluaf,uoJ l(uBc nort 'sassarlsaJII snorJBA Pue furo/| Lq pardncroard are srq8norlt rno/. jl 'JeqrueureJ ,brpqe rnoL uo tcedrur suonorue pue ot pooy\ ;pesserdapro pessertsno,{ ery;8ur1ae; no,{ ere A\oH :xBIeU ;remod iboruaru rno,{ sef,uer{ueteql eoeld pue arult B pul, no[ ue3 iraquauer ol 8urfur ar,no/, q]lq^A repun saf,uets -runcrrf, eqr e8uegc nol, UBO itueruuoJrnue pellrj-uortJeJtsrp 'Lsrou e ur Surqreuos JequelueJ ot Surr{rrnor{ ary :seruulsurnlqC aql az[1euv 'punu ur (s)a1&sStntueal rno,i,dael'mo11o;terp suormeSSns or{rJo eruospear

'((Jeqto tno rq8u puB JBeeuo ur saoS puB op o1 eql noL ller 1,, tl tBr{/t\ 'spron eqt pJeaq,(puanbar;aneq l,eurnoAdn Sur,ror8eJe^\noL ueq4l 'eJarl.A{eruos B tI elIJot uoga snorf,suoo eletu nod ptun SulqlLuealols,!rad .old t,ueo noL tng 'ot ureqt tuBA\no,t lou Jo Jeqterl \ sue8rofuosues rnoA ot /,e,r. rreqt e{BruIII^\ tueuruorrlue eqt urog IFrultS .luaserdl,lletuaru og tsnrunol, '8urqilue reqrueuer oI 3reqr,ueweg ol erloqC eqf e{BHl elqellorruooun grlrn lno tsrng Aeurno,{ro,(serue;srql ur qf,nru i3ur133r8 oor e81npul,uop rsnf'8urue]Berqtsselqrnru pue l,11ls reqler readde111m Legr 'e,i.e s,purur rno,(ul 'epnu egr ul Jo Jean\Jepun Surllls ef,uerpne ur rnod eur8eul 'tq8p; a8elsranbuocot >lf,rJt s(Jotce esnosleuBf,no1 uB 'sluedrcrtred eouarpne ruor; noL IBnPI^lPq .lo suoltcBerpuB sereJeqr uo qf,ntu oot SursncoJ pue drouaru ot uortueDerno,{esealf,ur tf,BJtslp uBf,srql'xBIeJ ot anf, rnod setutod rnoL esnuef, nod 'uortoeeJ af,uerpne e8ne8ot peeu IBJoJ q8noqlly 71esrno,i, punor8 ot tl te azeB puB eruxr; rq8rl B sBr{rns 11,nol, 'uortetuasard B lurod IBco,IBJtnau esoot{f, rno,{a{Btu ot otun s,tl ueq/N\ '8urfurolr peatsur Jo Suuequrerual sar8reue ro; rnort dn ear; uec nod ,rbarxue rnort eseeJoap ueo no[;1 'petdnccoLlanllf,nJlsuoo punu rno,(uerll\ sarJJoA\ sr pue sJBeJ rno,i.uo snf,oJ alult sseleABqno^ 'ef,ueruro}Jad ot {sel uo snf,oJ rnort eseeJcur 's8ulqt esaqrJo eruoslnoqe Allecrrsrlear nor{, Surlurqt ,tg 'esnods JoJJnu Jo rno,t ue Jo pealsuref,uerpne or 3ur11er al,noLueqt\ ef,ueJaleJ eruegInJesn no,i,senrS e pue loJtuoo ur noi{ Jo 'tsJolrstr stnd Surlurqr enrtrsod'rseqstr lB tr ozrlBnsh te uortenlrsaql ezIIBnsIA nol' rer;y isalllllqlssodetorual,t1uo f,rlsrlueJ Jo sJBeJ rno,{ary 'orJEuass esBc tsJo^\B Jeprsuoc iuortBntrsaqt tnoqBree; nor{op lBq/)N

ur perogcuedlurlJ l1 s1;,{esot teq/r\Jaqruetuar oC .af,rtf,erd no,t pue sf,uerpnB rno[ sBrorrnu aqr esn ieTI lea] 1l seopreq4t'Suroer uBeq rno[ pue SurrBen\s sruledrno,{ :suor]Jeer rnoAtnoqBIul{I 1ecrs,{qd
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^llenuEuof,aq 2lleg $q rsn[PBer seoq lIJerxapert leuosredsrq srleqt qf,lB^\ra>1cod JBa^\ seoq lef,ue B eq +eeddesrq rnoqeenbrunSurqrLue ereqt sI 'eslaeuoeruos ruog uede ruq les tBqt senlJJo selou letuaru aletu pue ot eureu JlesrnoL seturtIBJaAes srq /,es(zneu euoeuros teetu no[ ueqlx\ 'seopuor]e^Jesqo lryeJectng '[roruaru uI BlBpaq] eJnf,es JoqcueuB aprlord ol t,usaopSurqlatuos Suueegro Suraas ,(1dung :raaresqo regeg e eg ol Jlesrnol uIB{ 'uoIlBluJoJuI asol eql snorf,suof, IIIAInor{ro JequaueJ ol uorsrf,ap B alBlu 01 a^Bqnor{rng ,{sea t(usrl1 'furecdagr oSreoar{tJo esne{Blu or sdrqs iEJor"ru{q mup asoqtJo ,trrcole^eqt u/!\op^rols ot peeu no1 'SuueqruetueJ ueq,t. sueddeqtBqA\ uonetuaserdar tB IJol!\ l(uop noz( ro eleJnf,oe sr uortezrlensr^ uE terll tlsnouas iJBer;a1rnoA tno Surtooqs pue urerq rnoL lo surnl pue stsr/t\t eqt g8norqr Surllanerl (JBe tq8r.r rno,{ olur Suruooz sdrgsta{f,oJ pro/r\durf ;o sperpunqJo erntcrd 1er -uetu Inlepuom e dn ernfuoco] aurt pardnr:eturunpBq no1 iruooJrnod ol lues pue Suruelslltou JoJpaqsrundaralr no/. uag^r lear8 ll t(useAt

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Lueyq'3ur1urqt ur fua8erur Jo asneqt;o aldulexeuB sr ((iueetuI ter{^,\ easno,(oq,, 'uorssardxa aqJ :d.roure141 lBnslA-sasuas Jno esn 'raqreSor secetd elzznd petoeuuof,aqt Jo tseJeqr rnd uec no,{ 'eJotsfuecor8eqt ot tno st aql JI Jelsea acetdfuoruaruSurssrtu SurpurC ero;ege8ere8 ur JlaqsB uo 4a1noL tBorureregr pue fuo aqr pepeaqno.,{ -ruerueqr qloq purJot elqeeq Leu noL 'suonerf,osse eseqtg8norqa apls ilBoJuIBrrnor{tsol Lpeerleno,(peg 'Suruunr eJeA\ no,(;1 jtruotsureJarlr Suunp IJoA^, tuog Jo ol ,{e,rrno/.uo nor(eJellr'esec;euq rnoL Burfurec eJeA\ noA;1;sauecor8 rno[ yrlrn rnodumope q8norqr Suruunrla^r ;o s8eqaerqr pue esef,Jauq Surleosro8 no,(Lup aqr tl t(use/X\;urer plp ,iepreq16 .suorlBrf,osse ll etBAItoB selrjfuorueurrno,{ot ur oB 'laan tsBIteof,urerrnori, nol, pue r;a1 eJoq^r Llsnolnf,BJnu Jeqrueruar /r\oqeuos11,nol, ter{t Surdoq;lesrnod putl nod erult lxeu eql iSutlensnr;Llaruenxesr ,,'en8uolLru;o drr eqr 'r1t1,r uo rg8u s,11,, Bur188mts 3lxaluo3 lefuel1e uI uoTleurJoJullncl '/v\ou{Lpeerleno,{ 'ezrJo Surgleuros uoueruJoJur ot A\euer{r Joqtue pue suonsenb IrV -tueurol 8urful el,no[ ]eq^{;o Surueeu aql puetsJepun /,pee1c tBrll noL sJnseleyr1droruetutuJet3uo1ul rl eJots,{ltueueuradol elqe aq J(uo^r nor{'11 Surlelr8rn8er dldrulseJntBuxalduoc B}o uortBtuJoJur Lq Jeq -ruerueror ful no[;1 lezuorual4l ol Euu{"5 ar(no1 fBq/K pue}srepun rno/, lrec Surssrur B puIJ ot enrtf,etep pue eruoq nol, enup ot rxet e 3ur11er pua l,eur dn noL 'Lertr JaqtoueuI elBp tBt{t Jor{f,ue t(uop no,i;l tng 'u/t\optr elrJ/nol g8noua3uo1lseal te-ur peryedno,{a8ere8 8ur>ped qcrqm roquouer no,{ dleq uBf,tl 'drouraru turat uoqs ro;1n;d1eqeq ,(eruuortBruro}ur jo uonltader aldrurg :uorlezrJor,ue'\I elog Jo esn rnoif eJnpeg 'slleleP ,tlalBrnf,rB,orequnu eqr jo {f,Brr dael Peraqrxaruar rno[ sBetur] ,,r{,pnts,, sporJed pue senordul IIBceJ reuoqs 8urrro11e Jo fu1 'qderSoroqdautze8eue Sursn,{q asrcraxa fuourarulensr^Jo pur{ erueseqt op uBf,no1 'peloruer sB^\arntcrdeqt uar{^\slleteppeJaqueu 'teruroJ -er er{t B lle perrodarpue qderSoroqd peuruexe sluetsaluo3 stl sB,{roureru eJeql o8e sJBeA pesnfeqt /!\oqserue8nI B sBA\ IBnsrA 'uoltBnJesqo sramod rnod anordrurot suorsses ef,rlf,Brd peuueld esn Jo

tnoqe {ulq} puB J}o tg Suru:nt Jo uolloru eqt eleraSSexe'uo uorl eql aleel ,{lruanbar; nod 'rno tl lf,B uogr pue tl Sulop;1asrnol, ezIIBnsIA }l 'ezlJorueruot esuesfpoq 'reqruarueJot peou noL leqlr lnoqe {ulql eqf rxoU A\oJJoq'oueqlsaupt sl eporu rno,{ esn puB eJlotradal s(Jotf,B Jno asn Surureel paue;ard rno,(;1 :,fuourel I tpeqlseuDr-sasues 'edet rno,i, }o {leq tre1dno,{.se l1 leeder pue rapJooal edel e uo spuBJJe tsrl ro qcaeds rnod pJoJaU '8uos u/t\onl llerv\e;o sctr,tl eql uI Jeqrueru -eJ ot paeu no,i,s8urql eqf Sutuesut ro eurdqJ B uI fstl Sutddoqs rno/, Surnnd fu1 '1pcar fuoruau tdruord ot ,btnrtysuespunos pue auLqr 'protr rrer{l esn uBf, srer.rrealIegren :rlrouray4l .fuo11pnv-sasuas rnol asfl 'fuorueur rnor{ Suudtuord ur eq III/n a8erur er{t e^nf,eJJeeJour er{l 'uorlezrlensrl pue suortf,euuof, er{t snoe8ertno eJoru ar{J 'erueu tsJrJsrr{ ot uortJeuuof, PezrlBnsrnrno,{ 'esrnoc Jo 'q r{3lt{AAma$ Jo IA\oq a8ng e ur Surururrn\ssr fuec rno,{ '.{rlJ fueurpro a)illun 'eJntBeJluecr;ru81s tsoru s,uerufueC 'r]At IBer aqr sI slqt esneoegJIBII por Jo spunoru gtlrn peranof, sl rlslJ ruer8 rno ' (4loct r{sr; tuBIS e;o e8erut leluaru e ateerf, rq8nu nor{ 'uerufu"C uunts 'tuetlc A\eu rno,i.Jo eru€u oqt JequeureJ ot paau noL;1 'serueu Suuaqruerual Joj IIaA{$Fo/v\ Lra8eutt IBtueW 'JetBI uler{r ro; Surgf,Jees tJets nod ueq^\ puttu rno[ ur dn dod lllm ere8elNJo a8eruruB reqr er€ sef,ueqc'putqaq rueqt e^Eel op no,i;l uole tng 'tuer{t lnoqtl^\ ruoor aqt ro tno Sutzaerqruog;1esrnol, dots ot q8noua aq Leru a8eurr eqt etearf, ot tueruotu B 3u1ry1 islleC ere8elp relo ldems are ,teqr sBtnoqB Surssol sLel rnor{ ezrlensrn-e8eurt IBtueuI eAIl 'spueq rno,{ qse^t -eur8urur uB etBaJJpue lelnej eqt pue tueqt te {ool rno,i. dorp no[ sy or paddots en,nori,eJeq^\ luls tuooJqteq eqt uo s,i.e>1 'eJar4\euos u \op tueqt tnd ol uets nor{ erurl lxeu aqr anbtuqoel 8urmo1 -lo; aqr Sursn fur 's,{e1rec rno,{ aceldsnu Lleuttnor nor( JI 'tl paeu no,{ ueq^\ IIEOaJ tdruord ot puB uorteruJo;ul Jo uolteJtst8ar IBIIIUI eql str anordur ol fue8erul lerueu pue uonezrlBnsrnesn uef, notr 'SuuaqueuaJ JoJJor{oue poo8 B sI puB dttnnearf, pue uotteut8Brul JoJ sls€q eql sI pue pulru aql uI ueqr gllrn ,,r{,e1d,, seSeur lBtueu uSrsepor Lrrlqe uy 'sernlctd letueru eteJf,uof, olur petBlsuBJl ,ilssepro;;a JoqtBJaJBsecuauedxa pue sSurlaa; 'uorlemro;ur Sunuooul 'fuoruau IBnsrAq8nortp rseq JaqruelueJaldoad
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q -roue e^Equeuo sreqev e^\ tegr sr turod aqJ iperyB are stlnpe CeV teqt SurrsaSSns ar(en6 tou IIB teql ro qCV ur tuerper8urue sr sseuperu drqsuouelertuereddesrqr ro} srBeA e{Bl ol PuBlsrePun af.BJtslp SuraqtBqt stxetuof..Surssed.uelss 'sseuPEru III/h lf lBqr ulBrq uBunq eqr rnoqB ueeA\laq u^\ou{ eplll os sr erar{J pue .slP eqr CCV gtlrn snJo l.lNVEIAI nOI .o..o saldruexe 'stasse seln9 slrJrJeP lou-SeIIIIIqBSIP sE 'nnoN'sqr8uensrnoL ol rnori.IlreUBapltlns peultutuoc[em8ulueH pue 'set]lllQesp ere^esPBr{uosrPgPUB urolsua 'PelqnoJleJeA\ uBzol/\IPIIBossBsld 'serrlnrrlJlp d:olsrg ro Surureel suralqord qrleeq lelueu grlrn pe188nrrs ro ur stsuJB pue sJe{qqt elrtBeJf. 'san\rqnsrp mo .o Luey4'seItIIIqBSIp seItIIIqB sde81en pue -PI^lPu rnor{SurrlrruaPluaaq seqSuroPuaeq err.lear8 aqr Jo LuerysuleJq pezllBlf.o suordrur{s .{q pesn3oJ uo uo Surzrlerrdec sasseuleam perse8 -Bns ur an.Jo JaqurnuB uI peuoltuetu aA(eA\ 'CCV.reqr lsaSSns Suro8eJ(eA\ eABq Lg rno.t1sl(I pue uonuaueul Jo a8eluuapv eql 'e^Bq 'luaql er{l s(lalPuv ePISul seIlIIIqB re^of.ueru sartrlrqBslp tB {ool ^\au B elBt s(leloS 'sanr1rqa a\1 pu{ lllm no(.snf.Itetuelqordeq uB3snf.{trnllBarc IUII Pe^Jesqo e^Bq uB PerBqep.b8e or &lllqe uB euoreq osleuBf.s!p.IJep rno Lq ueppH uauo pue tltlzl\ uI B Jo uorsueurp eqr areqsel6.i.emlooq slqt rnoq8norqa eqr pue sruordruAs ^\oq.{ ur saceldsnoIJBA .r1rno.nportur eqr ur a.{ Iro^\ eql }o qlnhl 'eldoad Alqlperculetuosgrlrn ulBrq pazrlerceds parJIS 'stlf.(purruerpue tnoqe 'uoncesSuttrollo.{lluenbarg'e.{reulrd erp Jo euo sr uonuarreur/r{rrllqlrJerrslq ^fruqpre.uo snco.lp ueAISan.noii.(1sse1Pua suadxE'sSutns grlm slnog Pooruare^es Surureel orulre. 'senrlrqesrp seItIIIqB sde8snoru ut pue pexnu sUIS tear8e^BqsnJo Luey.em ser8eleJts aqt.l pJBs Burgreruos tnoqe no. a1vtno{" 11 to 'uonf. eqr ot s8urgr peTIBreA(eA\ Jo eruosezrJeruruns tuezlrert u1 'sa8erue^pBsrp se8etue^pB pue qloq aq uer stlnpBCICV Jo saf.eds IIIZVUC UO ArdnJS 'LZV-IION l^ [rryqeul slql 'trou1 nod sy 'poor{pllHo Apelncrued'lorneqaq se ul leuoltrsoddo parerfuatulslru uI s.uara.oJ pue tnoqtl/)N'se8etuenpeslp sa8etue^pB rJlqsor drrpqeulue 'uortsanb sBqelqlrf.

{f.ot suortoeJlsrp 8ur lno llol ol drl11qe -{lolq.erotu eq ot pual sreQCIV'dnor8 B sBlBqt lrBJ B sr tl 'sureJq pazrlerf.elf.eq [rNmuoddo oJ E'rsvrsso nouc .blnlteerf. ..r3 'a8palznoulrnod asnelqenlB^ure{Bru uec noit 'sallryqe Jo rnod eznurx€ru alll rnoAu8rsapuer no.snu plp Jo slol erolspuB ef.sprecuoder loor{rs rnod ^\erler nod.i.>lser ol W Itol e loor 8urdof.l1npeue sBlng 'SutqrfuaAe poo8 aJB oq/h stsrlBJeue8 ol patoedxaare uar le aq -Pltgc esnBceq aSetuenpe rnol.ord Jo IJISeqr ereqssnJo .Jexe leql-stuelqord rtueruos Bururoc Jno eA\ -JaAo ruo{ sllnseJ Jno .Busrp Bulag erpedoltdcue uerungB eJeA\ leqr nol.sBqf.eue lse^ eqr ur ]red Jo e deld tl t(useopdrrpqrrcertsrq .nsstueruruof.srrlJ .Bet eqJ.shu.{ltntlearf. ol $rp esnot elqBl(ueJe^\ noL pllgf.reql seeplpue srqSnoqrporurolslp l. etnqrrtuor urerq CICV eqt Jo SuurznprBq seop.npuof.. eArlBeJO esrf. :d1ranue. rno peuoDualue/a. ar{] uBqt e^rlBerf.esneo alqlsuodseJ s(leg/v\ r{ltcexeeulrruelepor elqlssodurs(tl 'ureJgpezrlerceds s(raclclv uB Jo uorssncslp ul ..stueeJp -["p' ' ']set uo.blnltearf.blnlrBeJf.{lpereeder aABq uerpllqc CCV Jo serpntg. pue ur saper8 rood pulJ rq8lru no[ .btntlearl 'rred uI 'anrt eq ^(eur slqJ 'sesseuleal\Jno ssudLq ol ((self. B sv 'sluelet PUEslse 'Jalul ol ur tsoru saleredo IBnPIAIPUI Peqf.(uerl{t 'a8pelmoul Jo [poq or crlf.oa|.eds rno 'ryrugns e/Xt'pernunu sl tl J} pef.o pue SurrsareluluB qlr^\ dn papue no iIuBq fuouraturnortur uouBwoJul snoeuBllsf.{els l(useoq.ueque 1o rred sl rJISsrqr rer{r tairemoq eq uBf.ilanrfca3ge uV '{sBr uasoqf.98t ot eqr 2rbrnuearf.eBEreAB..btntteart 'seyr111qeslp puB sanrlrqe.rlouo1nor(alqBue tnq seper8 rnod padlaq a^Bqrou rq8nu ueuo pilqc uroqgntser{J 'pooqrlnpBul e uBf.€eqSnoqrly -ol aruof.qpetf.v\oH 'slqt patou .lBlueJeslsBl ueq/h.In3ire^\od aruof.slqt teqt pefseSSns aleq sJelrJA\ eruos '.uplp rno/.roJ -saop rnq .(ueu '8ur1urgrenrleurSelul raqraS sn q IBnpl^lpuruB sBr{ Jo qf. iBrArJt. e stuerutuoJpue saper8 ued e8relur eJe/h lonpuof.B uo elgrlueouof.o elqedec'r1npe B peuruue}ep seluof.dt111q1roerlsrp jo uorlreuar t. pue tJoJJe lf.. rood eql ((.{ueruos .o 'ranezn_oq_'uorlueru rer.uosred.1 'tl spuetuep 'uorlealerceds stnu rl -rad /'1uorou plro^\ tlnpe aqr rrBJul 'r$lercedsB eq uec nol.

eqpedder -un surBrueJserurleruosef.bs3ur1un1r rno 'srqSnoql lueSranlp pue luBne -laJJrLlSururaasuael\laq suouoeuuof. 'uorssasSurtuJotsuleJgB ul B 'seepl antteut8eur .lNval^l no^ iirzvuc uo ardnrs .bradord rnort JePrsuof. plno/r\ JO latel s[ep o/vu SaAIJJB ueq/lr l.98t lsure8e pJBnAar!\JI 'op sJeqro ueqt alotu qsllduocf.JnoseJ isPuIuI lnyaznod srqr "{lerBunuorun ut\o Jno ur uorssesSuruuolsuleJq luetsuoJ B uI seAII Jno aAII uauo elil.IAJas 2peuoqd nod rerye satnulul aar. ot sn selqBue e1. Ieluaru Jno uo go oB Lgddeq eA\sV uB eABqsn jo l.btntloeradr{g rno Ieuueqc /.ueyrl 'uralqord pasodord B ot suoltnlos elgls -sod dn ureerp sluedrclrred 'Surleetu Surtaryeur alerod:ot B Jo Suttaeu L11rue.btnrrceredLll auop s8urqr sra8 regr of.ueyrl '8ur1urqt :.o a8elue^Pv eql 'sluarualels SursseJJegrua lno [lsnotras ueIB] eg 'btntslndrur esnBf.Jo tuJo} Jeqloue 'lenemog 'st eJeql 'sJotf.{t }o tseg 'ssacord enneerf.slp e/n 'sfaurnof '3u11uqt eAItBeJf.uof. tuelet eteuul ro. seepl teer8 e^Bq rq8nu elN 'ereyatul seltlno|$lp reqto asnBf.(lpefrcxe a^\ sBsera3uelut pue Lpeell ruar{t ssardxa or elqeun eq tnq rou rq8nu e/v\tg 'L1esrf.rllaur aJBsuoltf. er{] uI enp s(tBr{r IIIq xet .(8raue eJtxe ol eql esn uBf.-.$ro. Sutteutcse.i.rsnru'stsnJBpelualel ere CCV gtlrlt stlnpe Luey4 'sBeJB elrlf. eql ra8uassau prder rnog ol IIIg aqt sJelrlep e^ueluasardal esor{llraf. sr unJoj eqt Jeqtar{A\'eldruexa ro.aru1apeqt or JBIIUTIS ilse.IIIo s(Iralf. alN '.i11ryrepuo1n grrm dn e^r erult eql l.eJ tnoqtrzr\ tno suBts oql\ uosrad .11 .B ol .rleuad agr euo e 11ec tl 'l. aqt or stesseelgenle^ul ere tq8noqr .{lsnouroua Jo sureJl Surmop earyJnO iSututeuetue pue SurpJBA\eJ ssecordsrqt purJ sn jo l.pauueldun ere ^eqr jl ssalasodrnd pue tuerf.rnJes nol.11n.la1 &Flreerad/.asodrnd Peurgel a^eq sn jo tsoru 'sllnpe eruof. Jelof.eporuld /.{ttnneeJf.BJo suerf.s. ra8uasseu pldeJ e aq uec .ed pue 0O:g Lq asnog IIeu reln8er [q rt pues nod p1no16 'srelJBlsJoc -unof. r(ltcexe ef. 'sJa/v\sue Suour ou eJB 'lle eJer.uuslp B r{tlzr\sn Jo eruos apynord Jeqto pue srqt ur eBetuBApB ol srueasSuurmpreq erp 'paremsueun sulerueJ uoltsenb srqr q8noqrlv 'LZvl JoN hr.q teqt sI sA\eupoo8 er{J .e s(JeCCV aqr tanen\or{'deru stq ot unlq.

{ueru pue tf.8reue3qt e^Bq ot tuaes e16 'alll-pltu rlq eA(e1K ef.epB atuof.eq PIF{OCCV elgBllBsul eql uec itttntslndrur 'ppon 1Jo/rl eqr Jo uolssnf.{trnuceradLg 'seotetod qcnof.urs 'rana. aqt Je^o a8pa uB rurq Surnr8 . A\ou tq8u Surqrl.slp rno ur tno parurod e/K sV 'laal us^e uB uo s8urqr dael ot s{ro^\ eJI^\ rulef.eJ ur seoJer{er{r }o euros tnoge {ulqr no[. sJoqtne aqI 'a8e elpplru ul tesseuB eq.ele stuBn\ oql{ 'Peef.qndurl.reCCV uV 'saltrlrqrssod ma.i.1 iSurlrcxe eq UBJ aldoed enrs -lndrur esneceq pBq t(usl sarurleurossural esoqt Suruesool lng 'paureJ saslndrurrnof Surdaa>1 ]noqe 1ooq srqt tnoq8norqr s8urureznlBJaAes tno 'A\ou seAlesJno tsrpeJtuof.cnso1 e^rrp B puB uorlrquB er.npord pue SurprezneJ aABq uBf. .relren e IIU UBO 'se^II enllf.{lruanba{ pllqt ccv Lpoour 'elqelrcxe eqt 'uorqsel rBlltuls ul 'arnlctd egr ra8 no.B luef.{eru .ijb JeAoeq l(uBJ nort 'turellxe aldoad Suueeq lear8 s.xa oJoul gflrlt esoql se SurtsaJetul se LFeeu eq tou Leru tnq qtlllr a^II ot JersBe deru stueru€Jadruetrulef.eq .eq uBc eH 'selo] reecly 8uy1pt-tseJ V tlnpe Jo f.xe ar{I 'ller!\ tno IJo^\ ueuo uBJ sluoueradurel etrsoddo gllrn aldoed odu uealUeq a8erueu V 'stuetuBJeduretf. grla.tno peue^e sBq eJof.rtetueJp eJotu Htlrlt satBtu ot u^{BJp are eldoad ur1er.BJuB op sarrsoddg iseJnlBu elqBllf.. r{11ecr -sLqd puB rurls l.( qf.roq .uof. e^\ 'rusrloqeryo^\ otur Surprls ArrNruuoddooI ElcvJsrro r'{ouJ .IurBuLp '3ur>1et-isrJeJeA\deql terlt moul no^.{ oqe l.L8e E qrrd\ tlnpe enrsrf.nru Jo tusersnqtue pue .eq uBf.r a1doe4 ag 'tulg ot eldoed smerp letlt e1ryeds ernseeurBrtxe uB jo qtr/!\ tlnpe uB seuof.saql 'sraadJno purqaq s:ea.rr.eur Alyrrrrcepremol elrrp s. e uoltuetu ot 'tsoq Atoqs-TIBt uedxe suortelal rrlgnd 'ueruselesredns e ro euof.ers rurq dl".tl 'IIoJ re8uno.i. srq ollr{^{ Sunserelul eJIl se>letu asnodselqBrlf. ot 3uro3 eJ(e1x\ PessoteA(ellttBrll A\Ou)Ia/x\ dfla.( >1urqle^\ tnq arnseeJt rlcJeesur a13un[ Jo tseJeeuaqt JoJJo peeq noL regt puauurof. stullJ eJntualpe uonf.(rq8re ot xrs tnoqB ueeq sdemleen(e/rr ter{t ern8r.o a8que pV eql ' t(uop a^\ /y\oN ipeqteJsun adecsapuB-Jaqtoue JaUBeJntuenpe Surtrcxe auo otur a8unld oraq anrs -1ndur Jno qctel\ eA\sBueeJ3ser{t uo petenrJ ureurer sadeJnO 'eldoad sppo-lle-etuooJeno 'f.

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B paplreppuB ereedyo arnseeur B punoJpeq aqs 'eerSep uB pef.B Sursootlc Jo Jeqloru eql uoql Pue ell/r\E sBsJBed leranestxau agl pe.(epeqt ef.o s.iotuaaqs 'uarpllqt petuB^rs[em1e pBq aqs esnef. eqt Jaq ene8tueredB eTorq1oog raq uer{^{rodlcef eqr tlq eqs .arnllBJ.perl eqseqclu aql ot rdacf.8o1oqc'{sd ruerSordalenper8 ur B ur llorua o] e8ernoJpue eJuepr]uof. ul sreded par ur perenof.^ZyatoN hi.{rrpqereq tnoqe stqnoppsleerf.ursSurlrzn pepro^epeq rnq slset8ur1erre poo8 sB^r 'Joleepued\eu Jer{ ued tsalJeJs semsreded3urtu46 ^{eul oIJJBO eqt Jo 'l.erroosrpJles ssef.suortdo Jeq ssasse Lllectfslleerot PUB uolteJtsn$Jeq/t\olle^\s pe8euetu of ar{S IIIZVUC UO Ardms'.{sseur eqs .lualet Surlum ot Jar{ req pera^of.looqcs etenper8 uolteredard 'Tq ro.v.ns pue Surrlsrtes Jeq re8uol ou semqof raH 'sseltser or ue8agerrreC'looqcspauBtsuerplrql eqr ueq/N ta8 'atuoq tB serlrlrqlsuodser ruo$ pepeeueqs rag atrdser peplnordqof eurr rred y 'suelqord Suuear-pllq] allos ol aqt .eJrlnl ol rossejord roj petrB^\ sBr{tBerg eqr eqs req pleq puB slrBureq trg eqs 'tl asnot ^\or{peurBel e puBretnduroo Lnq ot pepllap eqs. Iooqls aper8.srp rauv 'ruerSordatenper8rer.{ eqs re^eu eqs peqsrurJ :aded eqt otuo esBe gtlrn r!\og ot ue8aqspron\req 'Surtrr/\{pueq e tnoqe uJaf. [q palagunf.ueun 'slq8noqt raq ezrue8ro raq rq8ner peq Surpear e^ol s(errreC errrBc roj elull LddeqB sB/r\ slqJ Llpe.oJd Suunq sPueIU Sutlcerlle ue8eqaIJJBC s1t1l Jo 'tsrl rellas lseg aqt uo sProf. ol plnoc 'suolrdecrad1las entte8au ruog peerC'sef.ueu ot jo 'Suuago lsJrj Jeq uJnteJ etll 'reded rr Jo tsJrJ . B roj ueld or ueSegpuB peruelu deqr 'Lepqurg qtanrlqt req uO 'ryoA\rag g8nonlt teru peq eqslsr8o -loqcLsdB qlr/t\ af. uB sB/!r Alsnolnf.ue^pe pelnbar rBqt IroA\ ur InJssesf.ns eq or .l.blnlrearf.ueturenbce pue lertuatodrag 'I..le^ou B pue serrots uoqs 'selcrtre etrJt\ ot eturt eABq sesJnoc paddorpegs .z6e sv 'sluelBtanbrunreq etBrJsrdde etuBJsrer{to 'ourqs[1pur.l NVaIAI no^ .uBuroJ snorras pBr{erJJBc'{eJII ur turod srqr tv B req 'Puno.uof. puBuotleut8eur ollrreJreq pesnaqg 'paLofua uerplrr{raq] 'ssoqu^\o req Sureqpe{ll eqs .uerpllql o^\r puE eqsseur^rlf..

ar PIIqI E sv e :nauerdeJluaIryssef. [euou eq] pepeeu[aql esnef.i.{ 1 sezn uaqlN f 'sarlrAIlcB tulf eq PuBs(c . auoeluossI oqr!\ JoJ slroldxapue 'ly of spuodsat rnauerdarlueatql'4rysutaua.V .r1ufleql 'ef.en1e.undaqr gll..{ezn uB arnteu slg 'rneuerdeJtue sB panordrulpue A\autno 1eesot Sutureali. 'sseltser uB eql .JaCQV alqEllBsur 'a8ueqf. spun.ulv\Bl pue SurdeaIasnor{ pauBtsaq 'plo srea.reJlas ereeddaep. eepl srH 'ruord eqr aIII sruene8rq ro.e6e uoItJnB e^BIs.t4auuE uonaftouqP roqtne pue fuuoq1 WD'rrre>lcnJcl -nB s(BJIJeury tsorueJoJ tuarua8eueur C Jetedot Surprocf. aqt (stJods Joj JBe^fuene[auoru ]o rol B pesreJ B ro.o fuots eqt q eJeH's8urqroP ol s.ueplJuorraq .(ot 'acuetdef.eq tuerue8uBrre gtlrlt Lddeq JeplosrH isateJ eJeA\ s8urlqrs teqlraruostB sJatsIS tsaJaluralrssecxe Sutlueq eq] ol uI luen\ slq pue sJeqroJq ot [auoru Surpuel'sseursnq eq sraded Pare^IIeP er{l ueqt raIIrBe eq '.Eal tnq ryo/v\Ioot{f.(lrsoruPa^Ief.'[1lun]loddo sBlI E IBJnlBu eq uBf. eseql oP or erull PelIuII {rlrlt seA\ ssausnq stuerlf.B SurlooFa^o 'Jeuueul raneu uH gtlrn fuSuepa.uere#lpaqr IIB epeurr.cns 'ssaulsnq uI srH 'srueet PUB PaJIqeH IJoA\ot sra8eueer lecol PauIBJt eq B erBf.Bet or 'br|qe srq pasrerd ant]tsod sB^\ B op r.{r1nce.f.(epgurqqrelul.nspeq aq asneJeq slq sJeqf.sslq uo s(J [".ns'rur[. eslerpue ezlue8ro uI stq'sctutePese IIe/v\ e111e sreadpuB sreqf.n IIor PUB Jlasreqre q8nel 'Sutlelerl ot rar{ rq8ner e^eq sreeLeql 'uarpJllcpuer8pue Surrtrlrr ^\ou sI elrrBc 9rl.{ers 3uo1.1a 'rulg uo g8nor oo] t(ueJell\ 'rllsllulldo pue .rda..req q8norql Pe^ou eqs llrun nor8 ot penuluof.Llarr uB Sur8e8ua qf. req SurrBrgeles .brleuosred PaTIUPB stq srH 'estrfuelue sem puB ssalpunog .{ue eltrll palnber aq eqr u^\ot ur etnor radedrsaSSrq peq eg 'dae1s asnereq .uetredxa Iooqssq8lft 'seroqf.13petrng raq Suuelof.uplp eq q8noqllv'urt[roJ af.slqJo [ueru esnBceq stueredSurryon eJe^r In]ssof.\IINTUOddO OI EICVISflO I'^'IOUC .o suorsrn 1n.o rurod E peqreereqs puB 'sattro..slq 'eJIIreq Jo seqf.(8reua PUB slq eII sF{ur sllnPBaql Jo '{ueru 'sruelqordrrruepef.pllrlt SunoLB sV 'esloauo.rnaua.n .seloPB er{] rreqt ro. saqoJBas s.(lpuetr. ef.

Burl.Is urer{f.pue qrosqeol stcelordsrq lno -qrl/N 'alqBluqtun srluaruarrteJ 'elotu/.Bl e Surdole^ap Allueunc lllrtt seIIIluBJol sJelef.uB >lro^\ peeut(useopeH tnq o1 'sessaf.ofurpglsea.LZv-lroN h{.ull[ Joc .IAJes sl eH 'sreluer arBf.lBturuepaSec e e{ll IeeJplnot\ eq t8reua srq lauuer{f.IBI{I ef.{ueru lBql etuos'sasseursng snorerunu aq petJets 'sree[ aq] JaAO PUB PellBJ 'sasudrerua Surppnq ot uortuelte srr{ sFI 3to^epot purqeqqooq sI{ rJeldFaSea 'pelenperS ueq/N .ue5slles or{^.pnrs pue uarpllqc Bunod uoltef.1 NVEIAI nol IjAZVUCUO Ardnrs .i:iiirfi rno -xa Sutu.{r Tf.ruerSord eq eq -\ \ I il jl I l\ i i /1 l.{qrleatr B /r\ou st *i[ eqror -uo Burnoru Lpaaee Buorm pue lue^\rer{^\ Buuna]]".Jns sseursnq slq eqt Jo staJJes Buueqs Jlesrurq Jo 'sretuerere3Lep eureria8 soaPl^ 3ur11as sseulsnq ISIrq B seoposleeH aqr sr Jo ureqc e Suruado.tauour eqt t(usrtl .teel sarnllBJ pesnsrteznle eH 'paredsord sB eqt ser{ teqr .^"P PIt. srq pue errnres Surueelc Jo ulY\ou] [lleuorreu sly JoJsasrqf. r{fil illl /t ffiwt ll '.\uetu ..l U rl {il.6e 'sBeplu^\o srq qtr^{ Leld ot ecueqr eql sr JotBnrtou dreruud eqr-.

uerpnesrq ezrJeurseru letlt suoltelueserd etEeJJof .rueerp ar{] tng 'r(eA aql 3uo1B/!\oq-^\oDl lBf..Iu SIq punoJ ser{ oq^\ TaCICV ue 'lregog tearu s(te'I 'drqsecrtuardde.usuels r{tld\ .usl teqt uoISIOeJd snoro8u eqt ur rl.Jeesal arntnJ Suru8rseppue BtBpSuuard. oq uBf. IBJIPoU a8rel B qtl^\ $lro^r eH Surgeeel erult srq spuads er{ oJaq/y\ 'suadxa lef.n rlnpB uB A\oq rePuo^r rq8tu no1 lslluel's aql AJINruuod.JeeseJ sBtdecxa sluat]ed.s eql 'uoutsod poo8 E aq lou rq8rur 'qoI llerap Suttcexa sselpuapue slset antttledor jo IInj 'tlns s(uelrlut{f.4] qBI 'Joleepue e^rteaJf.uelf.sro PIJoa ue L11ectd.S eql Jo PIJOA/\ uI eqf.reaserleorSololq ul [rlelcads B t{tlulrCIy\ uB sI ]raqog 'eJuelf.96e -retunof.S 'plJo^/\slr{t }o aldoad BePI er{r JoJ puB sesatltodLq SutreJaueo un.{frlqe SuEce PuB rusBlsnqlue 'rournq Jo asuasslq sesnall '8ur -qf.{ e Sananoq 'eq uef.r.Bet JoJ spJeA\B snorerunu uod\ serl puB sqt8uarls r{ueru ser{ tJeqog 'dnor8 eqt urog etuor slceford qf.o srear( llnor.o lto^\tau qf.Jnsserl all slq stuelet srq esn ot aerysl eH 'srcafqnsqf.rns Surzr{1euB 'JauBeJp enneut8etul uB eq or sPeeu 'renamoq 'sluetu -uedxa aseql su8rsapoq^\ lsltuelf.auorfuena Surrelnrults eJBs8uuaeru e8ernoJua ler{l suorsses qf.IO OJ EIJVIS8O h{OuC .reaseg 'ryo^\ tB unJ e^eq pue sqof rlaqt e^ol ruee] eqr uo a1doe4 'lcuarcr$a lead ]e uouf.JeeseJ retuef. Jo esnoq -eJots e alnbce ol peeu op stsllualf. aqt sB .o a8pel^rou{ tuerf.unJ ot rueal r{)reeseJ slr{ pezlue8ro seq tJeqoU 'sloaford qf.b t. tI Suorts s(JeCCV V spueruePacuelf.\ CCV gtl. teqt stsaretul pue tJoddns.erlp enlleerf. stlnseJ lsel Sursrd.^ pue slll{s 'slce.s eq-plno/v\/.reesereqr Jo slletep sselPuePUEtuerue8eueru egl selpuBq tuBtsrsse tuerf.Ir B pedoleneP sBq eH i srelcod (sJouopIeuuel 'SursrerpunJ s]esseeJB -od.o ul tno [auou eqt sureqc [llecrrcerd ep1 ursnuudo pue uorssedsrH 'saf. lslluelf.Itsltets {let 'asudretua aqt }o rotf.(ue eest(useop eH 'qf.(1rue8r11etur ot pue A\ou>lot spaeu aq Sutqr[ue tno puIJ o] sf.S 'ef.Jlpegr g8norqr re8 ot uorsrn esn uBf. plno^.retul roJ seepl tseg eqr Jo etuos 'uoll -edrcrlred s.rlle srH 'plJo/v\agt JeAoIIB suollelueserd 8urnt8 Sutu8tsap'sluapnls pue 'sluer8 pue sradedSurtum 'stcelord qf.

umop SurqrLrane selrJ^\eH 'JornBqeq e^Jesqo srq Llpyareono[.{ ul '?Jt1 slq ur af.tsequeql lrns slr{ sertr^rlf.JBaseJ Jorues eql IeJoAes gtlrn r(puersuocpenSre pue .n [rpctglp srq o1pelBlersale] -slu snolJas ap€ruoslBaH 'lcalord aq] uo Jer{f.96e fq8noql Jo UIBJIB sesoleq ueq^{ fuourerusrq 8ot ol srar{toslse .{roJ paeu srg pa8pel/r\ourf.(11rue..sllBep er{r puB sdlqsuorrBler er{rjo erer alel o1 eq pe]f.)Belqnort peq e11.{ 3uo1srq Suunp tulq pale^rtotu tsrtueros SuruocaqJo rueeJpslH e 'de.eSurpueuep dllecrsLgd tuqr peurBelsBquaqog .(e Jo eJI^\srq .LZv'l roN h{(l NVsl/{ nol .tueu tuads aq .rea.n ue8aqeq Surlesunof.tlrunruurof.eqre^au et1 qSnoqrlv .eueqparoedxa -un uB slg a8eureureqI PBqeJI^{pe8uertse grl.eSerueru q .tr.i/(q/K.arurtsrgr Suunq 'lro/r\ llerep yll.rnqf.r aqr 3uo1e salf.eJll-plru .e18eu asnBf.B laarec ar{ pue a8eureru e.r\oN sBr.ns -acv sEr{ OJII Jo sBerB IIe e{Bru ot speau sH aql IIIrs eH eq sllqs Surdooeqr padole^epd11eug ueqog .tq tsrou 'snouncsB^r 'spuelry aH puB sJa -I'{f.slr{ ul s8urseH .ur sulroyad ^(ileuorsecoo 'loqc rlf.ursrlor{B1ro/n ot self.uBIBq srq IIIZVUC UO Ardms '.uepuar ef. 'd1".tleuo'I 'Iro^\ slq q lueur PallEJ -a^Io^ur-re^osrq qrl/\{ spuaru slq dueu ruou puB req luo{ luBlsrp Jo euof.enncuaddq erBsuossrq qroq eculs 'strodsJo raqurnu B ur .{sBot suossal Surrdruretur Lllenurr -uof.buoqrne Surldef.o rcedsordaqr SurcBjpuB pauarqSlr.suossel e petueaprBqsrq loSro.rualqordrornegegsnorJes B ruBetqf.rnsar dllecrpouadsuelqord lnq dlqtooruserolu unr ot ue8aqalll srH 'sdrqsuoneler ul pue slq IroA\ tB perueuadxa sdemle peq aq surelqord eqt puersrepun rulg pedlaq tl .re ureqt e^orp d1>1crnb sseurssoq srq sBsPuerupetf. 'antldn-rslP pue 'eltlcerad..r snornqos(]r 'lnJsserf.sJo srea.{ IBrotrop-lsodsrq Suunp suelqord snouasotur uBr aq rnq looqf. eq re^aueq^\pace. srH 'pe^ll-uoqs sdemle ereA\sdrqspuel{ slH 'uortuetep ur suooureuB.o sarJas rsol at1'lurod auo ]v .rBeser pooSB puB sluerS.Bel ol Sutssalq slq ag PaKru B pue pllql rq8uq B se/rr Le.uelBq urBturBtuor pallBj aq re^auaq^\ eqr perellnsosle eSeurBur puB qrlEeq slH .eq pBq eH 'erro^rp roJ psllJ ree. qrr^\ seled sn{ -tctued pue suorlcnpordJeteaqt.BrtlB ureqf..Btsqo dueurtanamoq 'aJeA\ eJaqI 'eII rleJJede aneq ot stuees ueqou 'tueel poo8 B e1Bru["r{J 'roluerueldut eql $ uBsnseJI^{sn{ puB srualqorde^los ot sEapr eql setBJeueS fueuorslrr oqzn orp sr rJeqou .

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11.o '8ut1trus 'ptdeJ Surcrmas ruJoJlunpue leuosredrur Jo saJntcrd leluaru dn eserqdaqJ sarnluocpue luernetserpooj tsBJ Jo erueueqt salquraseJ B 'Pasop are sef..ol B ur pellorue eqs'looqcsqBH reUV 'ueruo. oJBJ ot tue8rn eqlJcsap pesns(ll 'Jorunqjo uoltepuno.-tsag plp eqsrer{^\Suropauoq le .rpeu leuosredul Jo arntcrdlelueu parereSSexe re q8nel e^\ oS 'pepl eqt 'lBnPI^lPuIuB sB Jo uoqs sllB.qrleeq ur-dorp eplnord tBql sJatuef.rulsuol ot poTIIosleeqs 'uosradLpueg ]uaplseraql sBruroyad xg Suruortcun.ueuo .{ pueqsnqrerl pue lere8reyrl'sf..66e SurrouLq pacuequepue 3ut>1u1qr luenelerrl ^q perlslrnousI rounH 'xog B ur JoC eserqdeqt Lq serlrunuoddo ro.reqrunld eqr jo raqruaruB aruef.Be Jetunof.uerSord eqs ot 1e -uortef. eJe/r\ ereqt uer{^\erult e te e8eJo aruooor A1cn1 sB.o eql '..Ba enbruneqr srcadser loorlf. se noL uosrad retsqalN'/KouT rounq eqt pro/y\ saurJeP tseruuryaqr Jo {ulqJ tnuoc aql 'pl5{c r{f.{trlearr€ql ^\oDI IIB e1)N aoul plnoqsoq^\ sleuorsselord suet:rs[qd.&\ Surmor8 teJB8reyl f PUB 's8urqr tf.o papr rno o] se tuerled rlf. crqderSB o1 Perileruraqrunld eJoruoslBsr oqrr\rauSrsap Jatseru A\ouq eqs 'splelJleuortrpeJt-uouur ueruon l. 'rerp* fiffi .leru 'rec L11ue.[teloospue sartrllQe raq ]o uorteurquof.uerldde 's8urgrSurxr.rlJo (srotroptsoru ueqd\ srnoq arp Suunp erBf..eq 'rate1 'raqrunldB eruof.ff:1"tttt:ffitT ep'.[ 'sef.{1uosLepIooqls Pernuol roq srequeruarlere8relAl 'seArlBIeJ spuer{ ruou dl"q eruosgtlrn asnoqu/rrorraqt Surppnqpue Suru8rsep pa[ofue e^Br.sunJe8erursF{I 'uoDf.".s osle Suru:ee1 }o stuelerpue selArs B eql'Surureal uo-spuerlsezrseqdue tBql Iooqcsrrosseluolnl puene [".aJur tf.BJtfueuun Jo leoJqt arosrno[.uerradxa ra]taq e^BqIIIA\ueJpll{o req ter{t ernsueot sdets uelBl serlPIIEIIe^\ oor. eql Ief.rueqrau pu€ uB ur pary18 pue petualer 'rg8rrq ere uarplrqo eerql rleqJ 'spro/!\uBrlt speepyrpr elqBtJoJruof.iddeq se^rlere8reyrl AJTNTUOddO OI E13VrsSO I^{OUC osnoq erBIoqBIe aqs aelr uB . e q8norgt uorun s.oldua or qsnd B s.eqt leder ol penol eqs pue sef. eqt sB .aq r.ul elduexe uB srxog D ur Joe 'uorsserdxa [lprnsqe ro snorolpnleql Jo esues ot sleedde B retlr .{rrlenbterl].snont8uof.{rrprnsqe.

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686.Hvperactive Press. Author.).Gross.E. 2 Goldstein.& Thomas..H. Washington. N.tkin.DC: ed.1163.Future House..(1990). (1986). Publishing Service 9 Ingersoll.Diagnostic statistical manual mental of disorders and Psychiatric Association.A. NewYork:TheGuilford L.Rich.J.1077in conditions children. (1984). andGoldstein. 6 Zu*. Wilcox.. 18W.. E. 4r4 . Author. A. and similarity twins in reared 6). King. with AttentionDeficit Disorder.E. NewYork:\il. (1902). Inc. Guide Coping to Child:A Parents B. ed.n. California:Hope Behavior.). House. 1008-1012.irr.h. (19?5).Neurobiology attention with hyperactivity: disorder of deficit J.F. Children GrownUp.. 13F. A. Psychiary. 8 Leuine. 5 American (4th (1987). 16Co*ingr. Joumalof 11Ch. DC: ed.\7. & Hechtman.J. York:Random 14 Sri. D. S' !il.1031-1039. \Uashington. Lancet.M. mentaldisorders Diagnostic statisticalmanualof and Psychiatric Association. Lykken.676. Adult to Disorders: Infancy Early From of Behavior OriginandEvolution Life.Rumsey. 7 Zm. abnormalpsychological G. The of onset. T. (30). Svndrome Human and Tourette 17Erikron.D. T. Managing S.1168.J.r. New Behavior Chemistrv. Norton& Co. (19?0). House. Duarte.(1950). M. K. 3 American (2nd (1968). (1990). DC: 4 American (3rd (1980).Nordahl.. New B. B..Semple.& Segal.136l-1366. G. (1988). York:Random YourChild's 15Toffl. NewYork:John in AttentionDisorders Children. Academy Child andAdolescent of of where have come 50yearsl we in lournal theAmerican 26.54 and Personality Social apart together.NewYork:Brunner/Mazel. and Childhood Societv. 10T.K.L. Some 1082. & M.Personality S. Psychology.. of 323 NewEngland Joumal Medicine.(1990). Disorders and M.DevelopmentalVariation Leaming Educators Massachusetts: Cambridge..T.g. glucose with hyperactivity childhood in meabolism adults R.Diagnostic statistical manual mcntal of disorders and Psychiatric Association. \UhvYourChild isHyperactive. WileyandSons. (i988). (1975)... J. YourHyperactive NewYork:Doubleday.Reterences i Stills.11. (198i).tkin. Bouchard. i. Washington..T.ingold.A. L.). S.& Rapoport.J. Press. YourHyperactive Child. Author.E. A. 12Ingerroll.rr. Hamburger. NewYork: Random Shock. (198?). Cerebral Cohen.

. Mosby Company. 8 46Ayr. Maryland: AdlerandAdler. S. NewYork:Simon schuster.. 58. 13).r. S. First.H. B. & Hechtman. Getting Organized.Karb. B. 25Longr. 42Clrrk. (1983). 27Winrro. Today.Greist.JanuaryiFebruary). & Burke.k. M.(1990.M. YourHyperactive B.A.r. Scottdale. 22Gol. 34Cousins.66.ib. Children GrownUp.ll-- RerpRrNces 19W.rnrn.sAnony*our.. Hvperactive L. contracting forchildren theirparents. Sensory Integration theChild.NewYork:McGraw. 32 Silu. Peter Svndrome.irr. 37W. S.Michigan: Edward Brothers.h. Sign Here. andTalpers.r. andTalpers.irr. L. and Ann Arbor. G.i. & Erdman. & Hechtman.T. ed.A. S. N.r.H. S. (Znded. Unlockin&Potential.LosAngeles.P.L.C. September Mv childcouldn't attention. p.Louis:C.. October 12.1018.rlEconomics (1991). (1990. (1986). Tourette Syndrome Human and Behavior. Longevity. V. !7orldServices:New York. (1984)The Misunderstood Child. and Califomia:Westem Psychological Services.(19?9).D. pay p. L. Newsweek. 30 S.h. L.u. 106. fordepression. (198?) Unlocking Potential. G. DevelopmentalVariation Leaming M.L.P.irr.Mind game the90's. P. Experiencing etemity. G. for USA !ileekend. Unlocking Potential.M. AmericanJoumalPsvchiatrv. 49 & Hechtman.r.58. Jul1.. Don'tForget: Exercises a Better Easy for Memory Any Age.& Reimherr. 41Comings. Hyperactive Children GrownUp.98. The Biology Hope.nd. (1978). (8). York:WamerBooks. 40 M. \iil. 31 S*ith.).. (198?).V. e. 20W.D. (1991).H. 36U/. J. (1980).irr.administered therapy J. of 50Addu. (1990). (1990). D. Hyperactive Children GrownUp..ib. The Biology Hope. 35 Gli. Leaming The Disabled Child at Homeandat School. of 147 45 S9l*i. Hyperactive Children GrownUp. St. (1992.irr. 43 Ing.deficit of hyperactivity disorder in adults. J. 102. Head N.). andTalpers. F.62. Child. 26Drrdig. (45th Physicians Reference. D.W. 24Al. 44 !f. P. D.r.J. Company. & Hechtman. Computer..Newage meets hippocrates. H. Heward.Psychology pp. & 415 . 21Leuine.hoholi. womens Day.J. 23Kil. Bupropion treatmenr attnention. p.T. PharmacologicalBasis of Nursing Practice. pp. L. G.(1981). at 29s. Managing Attention Disorders Children: Guide Practitioners.L. 3). that \Tounds never heal:howtrauma your changes brain.T. 47Liul. a book J. J..NewYork. Newyork: Bantam Books.88.rsoll. (1989). G. Desk Author.(1990). G. Klein. (1991. (1981). June). Easy No Answers. in A for NewYork:Wiley.. Hyperactive Children GrownUp 39Goldrt.1020. York: The Pan New Avon. & Goldstein. M. Sonell. & Hechtman. LivingMorewith Less. P.14). Pennsylvania: Herald Press.D.Hill.T.ib. 48\ilillirrnr.(2). Queener.NewYork:McGraw. B.T. of NewYork:Dutton. Computing. 52. B.D' (1992. 38W. Allergies theHyperactive and child.di.Hill.l.16.102. 51Rroo. A. New 28Lrpp. 33 S. and Disorders. Head First.h.D.

for New P. (1990). Conference. Megatrends. 2000: J. presentation Thomas for at October).RereRpNcEs 52F. : NewYork:Harper Row. Conative \ilho YouAre andHowYou The Connection: the Uncovering Link Between \fesley. Megatrends TenNewDirections the 1990's.. 58Nrirbitt. and 54 Kolb.F. Megatrends TenNewDirections the 1990's.k. 1ob MoreCollege. Books.j. 57 Nrirbitt. York:Addison New 55Noel/Levitz (1989. 53 D. P.K. York Monow. & Innovation Entrepeneurship: and Practice Principles. 2000: 4t6 . (1990).ingold. for P. (1985).). Visualof skills thenineties.. Behavior Chemistry.r. (Znded. York:Wamer New J. YourChild's B. 56Nrirbitt. & Aburdene. Perform. (1984). & Aburdene.

(1991). ( 1988).M.n Here: AConwacangBook anl"Their Paren*. and Heward."The ritalin controversy: what'smadethis drug's opponents hyperactivel" Joumal of the American Medical Associat ton. New York: Dell. Yow Hyperactiqre Chill. Secrets Executive of Success.: A Parent's Guide to Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder.New York: Doubleday.(1988). New Jersey: Fournies& F. S. L. "Stimulant medicationsin adultswith attention deficit disorder".440.-I AppsNorx A Susgested Reading List Bain. M.S. and Califomia: Hope Press.(I99I). for Children Associates. and the RodaleCenter for ExecutiveDevelopment. Pennsylvania: RodalePress.V. Golin.I. Diamond. ( 1987). A Parents Guide to AttentionDeficit Disorders. Cowart. ( 1990). and Goldstein. Bridgewarer. 259. Towette Syndrome Human Behnuior. Ingersoll. Don't Forget:Easy Exercises a BetterMemoryat for 41.257.\7.. (1981). ( 1990). 439 (79). M.New York: John Wiley and Sons.L. Comings.E.7523.7 . (1984). Dardig.B. Stg. ManagingAttentionDisorders in Children. D. Gauthier. Emmaus.C. D. Bricklin. M. Goldstein.J. CanadianJournalof Psychiatry. 435. L"pp.. D.

M.Inc. Press.DC: American andTreatment. Satir.TheDfficultChild".ed for Maryland:Adler and Adler. Haymakeq Book New York: LorayneH.. D eqt PublishingService.L.L. in Levine. Tlansact Monograph . Attention-DeficitHyperactiuityDisorder A Clinica| Washington. B. and Lucas. MakingC ontnct. J.PA 15146. (I97 6) . D. (1985).YouJust Morrow and Company. Achivesof GeneralPsychiatry. J."Methylphenidate 41. (1992). M. and Thlpers.(1992). New York: McGraw-Hill.D.Berkeley. Turecki. in L.S. Senes(No.C. and CoILege Potential: B. AheaA School.Attention deficit of a Towardestablishing standard carefor adults.Inc.105-106. DorsetPress. Marres. Psychiatric New York: William Don't (Jnderstand. (1991) . and Hechtman. Grown Children G. 'Weiss. California:CelestialArts.R. ( 1990). Guideto Diagnosis Inc. (1974). : Silver.B.V. ( 1990). ( 1986). Thnnen. tomsof ADD in adults".TheMemory J.o RsaDINc Ltsr Att) Agr.D.and Freytag. ( 1987) . Scheiber. Other Choices LearningDisabl.( PeopLe-A Stepby StepGuide. Keeping PublishingService.T. AnentionDeficirDisorder Adu\ts:PracticalHelp for Taylor Publishing. L. der V elopmental ariationand LearningDisor s.Transacnon disorder: 7566 Health CareSystems. Educators Massachusetts: Cambridge. Hyperactiqte New York: Oxford University Press Up. Levine. Zalenski. (1984).A.2). New York:Bantum. Cambridge.Texas: Spouses. and Boswell. Educators Massachusetts: Liden. Dallas. andTheir Sufferers 418 . Monroeville. Unlocking J. on effects sympL. 198i ) .Succesrr. 'Weiss.

residualtype". 62. 16. Woods.(1990)..1366."Adults and adolescents with ADD: clinical and behavioralresponses to psychostimulants". 70. P. \Uinston.October 11). 66. . 1018147 1020.& Reimherr. (1990).\7.323 (20).D. York:WarnerBooks.H.M.American Journal of Psychiatry.The New EnglandJournalof Medicine.J. ( 1987).A. 1361. \Uender.H. L.."The diagnosis treatmentof attentiondeficit and disorder. et al."Cerebral glucose metabolism adults in with hyperactivityof childhood onset". Aduh: and AttentionDeficit DisorderThroughtheLifespan. New Wolkenberg. pp.New York: Oxford University Press. (8).SuccgsrEn Rp. Adolescent.M. 419 . (1986). The Hyperactiue Chill". Hopwood.A. Psychiatric Annals."Out of a darkness".P.qDrNG Lrsr \fender. I33- t36. 7. "Bupropiontreatmentof attention-deficithyperactivitydisorderin adults". 73-28. Yellin. Journalof Clinical Psychophamacology. Zametkin. (1982).83. (1978) GettingOrganiTed. 82. and Greenberg. (1987. E New York TimesMagazine.S.J.H.F.

There are alsoperiodic conferences.Toledo. Melear.AppeNorx B - Resource List ADDult Support Network M"ry JaneJohnson 2620lvy Place.The conferencewill most likely be held in the Midwest and will probablybe just the first of many to follow. Books and cassette tapeson the topic of adult ADD are availablethrough the Center's resource services.Ph..Write for free information.D. The ADDVISOR. that offersa wealth of practical information on coping with ADD as an adult. 420 . She has also informed us that she is organizinga national ADD adult conferencescheduledsometime in 1993. Directot 1344JohnsonFerryRoad.and home-studyprogramsfor ADD adults. write to Mary Janeand request questiona naire. Attention Deficit Resource Center LawrenceL.Thenetwork publishesa quarterly newsletter(ADDult News). has a pen pal programand compilesinformational packetsfor ADD adults.GA 30068 1-800-537-3784(voicemail) The center is a non-profit clearinghouse information on Attention for Deficit Disorderwith a specialfocuson ADD in adults. you are interestedin parIf ticipating in her research.It publishesa bimonthly newsletter. This organizationis really a one-womanoperation. Johnsonis alsocollecting data on adult ADDers through a questionnaireshehas designed. but M"ry Jane Johnsonhas done a superbjob of developinga nationwide network for ADD adults. Marietta.OH 43613 . Suite 14.Ms. workshops.

parent-based Challenge. Learning Disabilities Association (LDA) (formerly the Association for Children and Adults with Learning Disabilities) PA 4156LibraryRoad. offersmembers many other benefits. Inc.CHADD has numeroussatellitesupportgroupsthroughout the country. 42r . and which features articleson children as well asadults.Challenge.\7.OH 44061 1-800-48i-2282 Children with Attention Deftcit Disorders (CHADD) 499 Northwest 70th Avenue. Newbury MA 01985(508) 462-0495. such asprescription medicationat wholesale Individual Membership. The Nen^usbnefs newsletteris published six times a year and includesinformation about new developments in the field.Suite 308 Plantation.nonprofit.Rrsounce Lrsr Attention-Deficit Disorders Association (ADDA) PO.The organization's newsletter. 20036 DC This publication includesreportsabout the continuing progress disfor abledindividualsand new opportunitiesfor rehabilitationemployment. Box 488.Mentor.Challenge. Box 972.\il7ashington.33. adults with learningdisabilitiesand professionals approxi. prices. 6th Floor. legislationand research. supportand advocacyfor ADD individuals.2377.FL 33317 (305) -3700 s87 Both theseorganizations serveasnational clearinghouses inforfor mation. 15734(417) 341.$25ly ear Professionals Membership-$4llyear (for professionals the field in who wish to be listed on Challenge's Professional ReferralList) DisabledUSA President's Committeeon Employment the Handicapped1111 of 20th Street N\7. (800) 7. has mately 800 state and local affiliateswhoseactivitiesinclude education.1515 This international organizationof parentsof learning disabledchildren. Freeinformationalpacketsand numerouspublications. Inc. is a national. PO. Inc. which wasthe first national newsletteron Attention Deficit Disorder.Pittsburgh. organization primaryfocusis its bimonthly foundedin 1986. Challenge.

AR 85257 Formedin 1980.National activitiesinclude a newsletter and annual workshop. variety of materials. contact the national STEP coordinator. National Rehabilitation lnformation Center (NARIC) 8455 ColesvilleRoad.MN 55014 STEP groupsare offeredby variouscommunity centers.self-helpgroups.a in A newsletterand information aboutpost secondary educationoptioru are available.the NNLDA providesa supporrnetwork for leaming disabledadults.MD 2L704 (800) ABC.churches.are also availablefrom including a list of post-secondary the LDA.and national organizations.ChesterBldg. local schools. 4ZZ . STEP Systematic Tiaining For Effective Parenting STEP AGS Publishers' Building.DC 20707 This newsletter conmins ongoing reports about federal activities related to individuals with disabiliries. 709L0-33L9 (301) (800) s88-e284. Scottsdale. adult education programsand mental health providers.Rpsounce Lrsr programs.this organization search database information its for can regardingthe rehabilitationor employmentof individualswith disabilities.DI23 Numerousstateand local chapten of the intemational Orton Societyprovide educationand promoteresearch dyslexia. Orton Dyslexia Society 8600 LaSalleRoad. SW fOtS SwitzerBldg.\Tashington.synagogues. The Orton Societyalsoholdsnational and sate conferences.MD. Circle Pines.For additional information.. OSERS News in Print Office of SpecialEducation and Rehabilitative Services330 C Street. 34-NARIC For a nominal fee.. It also advocatesfor accommodationsfor the learning disabledadult in institutions and the work place. Suite 935 Silver Spring.Suite 382 Baltimore. F--2. National Netrvork of I-earning Disabled Adults (NNLDA) 808 \Uest82nd Street.

NW \Tashington. DC 20036 A free directory is availablethat includesa list of 630 accreditedprivate business in schoolsand colleges the United States. N\7.FLA 33317 (800) 233-e273 This catalogoffersa variety of books and tapesavailablefor purchase. may be lessexpensive. National Association for Ti.ade and Technical Schools 7Z5Z'S7isconsin Avenue.Columbus. disadvantaged.VA 72201(703)572-6IZL in This national organizationof professionals vocational education. DC 20007 This association distributesa handbookwith lists of accreditedtrade and technical schoolsthroughout the United States. sonnel (NAVESNP) Z0Z014th planning and employment preparation.D.Arlington. and on other specialneeds'individuals. Learning Materials A.Warehouse 300 Northwest 70th Avenue. Ltsr Vocational and PostsecondarvSchool Organizations Association of Independent Collegesand Schools One Dupont Circle. \Tashington. National Association of Vocational Education Special Needs Per. Inc.Plantation.NJ 08540 (800) ZZt-4492or (609) 457-0606in New Jersey 423 .D. focuses the educationalneedsof handicapped. Recording for the Blind. (614) 486-3655 Ohio in The center offersa variety of materialson technical education.Princeton.Suite 102.souncr. OH 43710(800) 848-4815. National Center for Research in Vocational Education 1960Kenny Road.Rr. this is an excellent Although other sources compilation of availablematerials. (RFB) 20 Roszel Road.

magazines. largelyon the personal NE\fS focuses recommend both thesequarterlynewsletters. handicapped. 76Z0IvyPlace.VA 22003 editor ADDult NEWS. tion is availablethrough local and regionallibraries. The Library of Congress (202) 882-5500 DC 70542 etc. Approximately 60. ADDendumhtghlights latestresearch of experiences ADD adults. are availablefree Popularnovels.Annandale. 424 . Newsletters for ADD Adults ADDendum. OH 43613 Toledo. PaulJaffe. We highly The ADDVISOR Seethe Attention Deftcit Resource Center in the sectionon organizations. thosewho are visually. 5041-ABacklick Road. eachwith its own particularspeTheseare excellentnewsletters.classical The collecof chargeto individualswith specificreadingdisabilities. thesetape recorderspermit changingplaybackspeed without lossof voice quality.other electronics'retail storesand mail order catalogs.000free-of-charge are year. for Variable Speed Thp" Recorders Available at Radio Shack. Mary JaneJohnson. Pleasenote that the tapcsavailnblefrom eachof thesesources must be playedon specialtape players that are available loan.All requests must be accompanied Gpes can be bonowed for one by an applicationform and detaileddiagnosticinformation regarding Eligibleindividualsinclude the individual'sneed for theserecordings.N\7 \Tashington. while rhe ADDuh the cialry.physicalh and perceptually Talking Books Handicapped National Library Servicefor the Blind and Physically (NLS) 1791Taylor Street.editor c/o CPS.for information on this newsletterthat includesvaluable information for ADD adults. literature.REsouncnLrsr recordings availableby mail.

etc. example. You can nerwork with other ADDers across counrry through thesefiles.REsouRcr Lrsr Computer Resourcesand Software ABLEDATA National Rehabilitation Information Center The Catholic Universityof America. Correct Grammar@ \Triting Tools'Group Macintosh Organization Softrvare First Things First@ Visionary Software 42s .ProdigyO and CompuServe@ have ADD bulletin boards. 4407Eighth Sreet. Electronic Bulletin Boards (Accessed Modemsand Personal via Computers) A variety of on-line supportgroupsare availablethrough several computerservices.Inc. For ties Forum that includesa folder relatedto ADD in adults. DC 20017 (202) 635-5822 This cenrerdistributes a detailedlist of commercialproductsfor useby individualswith a variety of handicaps.America On-Line@ has a Disabili. LearningDisabilities. also Look for files labeledAttention Deficits. the Macintosh Editing Software and Letter Tbmplates ktterworks @ Round Lake Publishing American Handbook of BusinessLetters@ Nova DevelopmentCorporation Quickletter@ \Torking Software. NE \Tashington.

426 ."l acceptmyself Phrases affirmations. Ltsr MiscellaneousMacintosh Software Last Resort@ rWorking SoftwareInc. SoftSystems Messages@ SoftwareGrove Commence@ Inc. Mindset@ VisionarySoftware personal This is a wonderful positive self-talk product that displays here and now" and "l such as. Jensen-James. IBM Letter Tbmplates K"y Cortespondence@ SoftKey IBM Organization Software About Time@ Inc.RpsouRcr. This is for impulsive ADDers who fail to back up their work or use surgeprotectors! This softwaremaintains a copy of every keystroke and enablesyou to recreatethe document you lost when you forgot to saveyour work or when the power went out. the trust the intelligencewithin me" flash across top of your screenat periodicintervals.

. 367 Alducci. additives. 351.22 adrenalin(epinephrine).71 action: cognitive tempo and. L9-20 alertness. 795 analogical Freudian. 74 345 adolescence. alteredcognitivetempo. lL. 62-64 reactiontime and. 66-67.I75. 138. 308 American Psychiatric Association(APA).72-73 ADD. alcoholism. 38. 10 Anafranil (Clomipramine).lndex AA (Alcoholics Anonymous). 138. 365. 365. 30-45 in adolescents. 356-57. 1. analysis.I7l-23 lI3-14 of imperfections.53. IZ8-29. 378 regulationof. 345 thinking. 367 acceptance: of diagnosis. acquisition. 9. 64*65 American Medical Association (AMA). confusionin.318 AlcoholicsAnonymous(AA).as first step of memory. seeAttention Deficit Disorder ADD Council of Greater 367 Cincinnati.30-33 aggression. 316. 39-42 "l don't care" attitude in. 41.47-45 in elementaryschool children. in toddlers. access. 780-82 . 477 . L. 35-39 hyperactivityand. 82-83 adoption studies. fourth step of as memory 74-75. 308 risky behaviorin. 360 357 Analytic Psychotherapy. allergies. 39 identity vs. 379 35.18 age and ADD. 44 alcohol. Il'. 39 33-35 in preschoolers. 65-66 active working memory. 75 will and. 4l medicationand. 7. 350. 43 alcoholics. of decrease hyperactivityin. 133. 64-65 inaction balanceand. 39-47. in adults.

48-49 selective. 316-17 symptoms 10-15.8. A.5 prevalence 25-26 of.35 attention. (ADD): alcoholismcomparedwith.269.339-40 tricyclic. 106-23 problematicaspects I?. 46-79 fantasyof future and. 294-95 asthma. 286 auditory memory 283. 73. 130-31 safetynets and.328.6 of. 336_44 Bupropion (\Tellbutrin) . 8 diagnosis and treatmentof. 246 advantage lack of. 330. on. balance. 10. visualization combinedwith. 140-42 428 . rg-25.310-1 1 270-7 r Assertiveness Training. 9 audiologists. I34 personalscheduleand. with and without hyperactivity. 8-9 learningdisabilitiesand. 37I importanceof. 74-?. 28 9Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder(ADHD). differencescausedby. 116. definition of.9. 9.258 antidepressants. 8-11 . research 8-9 .INoEx - anger. 346-47 anxiety. questions evaluatingissues for of. 734-35 answering machines. 288-89 APA (American Psychiatric Association). 327-78 one channel operational systemand. 11-13 neurologicalcontrol center for. 16-17. r3z-33 133 benefits 38I-404 of. l3Z. 30r-z as maliciousbehavior. auto-defense and attack mode.124-46. 344 MAO inhibitors. LZ4-25 maintenanceof. 145-46 "one rat study" and. 369. 79-45 initial discoveryol 106 labelsgiven to. 138-39 simplicity/complex ity equarionand. Z9Z . r66 axons. 3. 54. 336-38 seealsoProzac antipsychotics. Jean 369-70 . memory and. 206 substance abuseand.L65 appointmentcalendars. 384-85 of manifestations problems of with. 62 seealsomemory Attention Deficit Disorder as running in families. 34-35 auditory leaming.17-18 Ayres. 46-79 of.302 associations. 368-69 Associationfor Children with Learning Disabilities. 4IL-I3 impact of growing up with. 10 apologizing.

168. 9. value of examining issues involving.. 155.143 bulimia.349 appointment. 345 and. 371 undervaluingof. filtering mechanism 51 frontal lobesof. 9. 353-55. L43-45 betweenstructureand freedom 125-26 .2L-73. work see Catepres(Clonidine). and ages developmental theoryof. 344-45 CAT scans. l8Z bedwetting. of.6 . 339. 351.345 programs. 307-8 SensoryIntegration and. see disapproval. 18*19 imagingand.69.7. 350. two primary components 377 seealsoinformation processing. 7. 27-28 lead poisoning and. breathing. cerebral childbirth: complicationstn. 757-58 careers.336 BehavioralTherapy. 127-28. blood pressure.344 Caramazepine carbon paper. 337. blame: 85-86 mechanism.103 bulletin boards.108 brainstem 377.29 370-71.17. calendars. 170. 37I of. 345 blood tests. 341 bulldozers. early damageto. 73 messenger systemof' 17. 34L. as defense cycle of. 169. 340. boredom. 376 cancerwellness do can't/shouldn't list. 46-47 rZ5. 143 118 after diagnosis. Cathy. 331-32.George. 16 of.7IZ-13 brain. IZ3 377-79 biofeedback. 177 society's 429 . 379 allergies hyperactivityand. l4l boundaryneeds.150 (Buspar).I44. 371 ADD as disorder 8. 344 Bush. 369 . 377 natural techniques children. body language. 73 negativeself-perception by. 5-7 developed Ritalin'seffecton.347 Buspirone caffeine.18 327 hemisphere. 359 Better. bartering.108. centralnervoussystem 328.17 (CNS). 98. 270-71 Canada. 346 L50-52.4. 126. bargaining. ztt 337 bone marrow suppression. deep. 288 budgets. 23 for.INp* slicing and dicing techniques for. I7Z. brain scans.264 Bupropion (Wellbutrin) . 137-38 (Tegretol). 11. 43. neurotransmitters 373-74 Brain Massage. 165.

Jill C. 194-Z0I descriptions relationships of in. . family relatibnships "chip on the shoulder"attitude.407 art vs.\ spacingol 208-9 temperamentalstylesof. 64-65 collectiveunconscious. L49-52 computers and. zz-23 336 Tourette Syndromeand. seecentral nervoussystem codependency. memory and. 388 CNS. I82 seealsorelationships.200 430 . 157. 238 dating. 77-73 usefulness 758-59 of. 191 continuing educationclasses.43 Cylert (pemoline). 154-56 unspokenrules in. family. 95-97 convergentretrieval. 54 Clomipramine (Anafran iI).406-7 Cognitive Psychotherapy and. 190. nonverbal. 123 complexity/simplicity equation. 302-3 Clinical Depression.308 (Thorazine). 181-82 random access memory of. 385-86 credit cards. 179-80 telephones and. seealsodevelopmentalages. 357 Comic personalitysketch. 737 chunking. 199-Z0I 296_97 Cognitive Psychotherapy. as defense mechanism. 150-52 written. speech Community Times. 345 Clonidine (Catepres). 347 counterculturetherapy. 148-49 importanceof skills in. 399-401 communication. 148. 332-33 tricyclic antidepressants and. 182 control. 309..x children (cont. 352-53. 194-99 survival tips for.330. r40-47 computers. 375 cravings. 359 cognitivetempo. 85 coding. 335-36 Dardig. 75 coping strategies. defense see mechanisms Corgard (Nadolol). 44. 796 Cincinnati. manners and. 289-90 chores.54-55 creativity. 353 communicationand. 344-45 closure. 44-45.-54 socialhazards 152-56 in. 148-49 leaming stylesand. 157.. University of. 90-91 chiropractors. technologyand.Norman. 309 Cousins. scienceof. memoryand. chlorpromazine 346 choice. 164 verbal vs. 7I-7?. consultants.INor.

334-35 106-10 diagnosis. 339 Diet Therapy 379 .3. 104-5 as medicaldilemma. 8-1 1 medicaltestsin. 50 globalthinking vs. 18-21 euphoriavs. 3. 54-56. of.116-17 I41. seeblame charactersketch descriptions of. 90-91 control. 35-39 infancy. 347 depression. acceptance LZL-7'3 bargainingafter.75 352 1 after diagnosis. 80-81 94-95 learnedhelplessness. mechanisms. 17'6 ages'30-45 developmental 39-42 adolescence. blame.93-94 as defense in grief process.83-85 risky behavior. 108-10 personalunderstandingof. 107 self-education seealsotreatment Diagnosticand Statistical Manual (DSM). 126 quiet zones.. 95-97 denial. r44-45 43r . 86-88. 118-21 depression importance of. 87-97 and. Cognitive Psychotherapy 74 tyramine and.330. 93-94. d. 60 disinhibition. 110 reactionsto. 357 Freudiananalysis function of.33-35 toddler years. thinking.2I4 designated (Norpramin). directionality. 97 -I03 "chip on the shoulder" attitude. 116-17 examplesof. LZ6.INogx - deep breathing. denial: mechanism. adulthoo 42-45 elementaryschool years.30-33 dextroamphetamine (Dexedrine). 9-10 diet: and food additivesand sugar' 90 withdrawal. 90 17-18 dendrites. 81'-82 perfectionism. 97-93 "who cares"attitude. 345.88-90 overuseof. 53-54 and. 288 80-105. 118 after. desktop frles. 795 differential 165 digressions. divergentretrieval. desires. 30 preschoolyears. ADD comparedwith. 336. 764 details: aversionto. desipramine 337 needsand. defense 1 3 03 5 1 .82-83 "take me or leave me" arritude...63 53 dissatisfaction. LI4-15 and. manipulation.

23 epinephrine(adrenalin). 239-39 equal opportunity participationin. 301. inferiority in. 57 Edison. 399 (L"pp).food. 30 euphoria. 24 DynamicTherapy.seework endorphins.r- INopx do adequately list. 236 establishing rulesfor. 34-35 eating: patternsof .18. 7. 279. 189-90 learningdisorders and. 213-14 Dreamachine. 320.3T4 Drucker. 337. 233-4L diffusingof anger in. 393-94 environmentaltoxins.38-41 family meetings. 133-36 down time. 357-58 . 327 do well list. 733-34.substance abuse dry drunks.ThomasAlva.I82. 238-4r generalprinciplesand rulesof conduct{or. 233. 237-38 contractsand. -79 377 elementaryschool years. T56 Erikson. 283 Don't Forget dopamine.237 432 .Z4l-43 familychores and. 136-37 Doc in a Box. determination of. 235-36. 388 education.depression . 33 physiological slowdownafter. employment.318 dry mouth.39-4I designof. 734 expectations of perfection ZL4_T5 emotional incontinence.18 ergonomtcs.. ?. 126 vs.3Tl educational remediation. 302 5\ EEG Biofeedback. 234-35 effectivebrainstormingand problem-solving in.358 ear infections. 62-63 failure: substance abuse and.Get out the Door" lists. 393 drugs. empathy 33. 340 DSM (Diagnosticand Statistical Manual).extremeswingsof.Eric. industryvs. 35-39 emergencies.230-41 bargainingand negotiation in. 169-70 faith healing.9-10 dyes. 237. TLZ emotions. "Everyday.seemedication. 360 Educationfor All Handicapped Children Act ( 197 .308-9 family chores. 316 talking yourselfinto. 307-3 Montessori.PeterF.73-74 facilitation.18 Entrepreneur personalitysketch. L)l-Z emotionalliving space.356. 237.7. 57 and.

249. ( G ettingOrganiTedWinston). 34-35 help.. hearing loss. I43. Z5Z global thinking. 339 Food and Drug Administration (FDA) 3t6.11 levelsand. 350.74 FeingoldDiet. tyramine in.structurevs. L25-26 Freudianpsychoanalysis. 205 eveningsout and. detailsvs.2L2. tZ5. food dyesand additives. 206 descriptions 201-8.209 food. playing. zrz-17 Family Therapy. 295 360-71 Group Psychotherapy. 64 hard to get.44 Future Shock(Tof{ler). 44. The Biolog1of Hope (Cousins\ 375 . 708-9. 126 Gone with the Wind. ADD in. 182 Gestalt Therapy 309. 359 . 209 mealtimes and. 345 . 210. SensoryIntegration. 26I-62 finances. L44 229-43 privacyand. 369-7 I Social Skills Training.3I. feedback 166-67 . 345 . 362-63 fax machines. 203.x goalsand objectivesof. 356-57360 . askingfor.Benjamin. 368-69 Family. 225-78 financesand. 333-34 genericletters.140. 74 genericdrugs.24 Ford. Henry. 346 handwriting. friendships.18-19 functional dysfunctionals. Assertiveness Training. 209-t7. relationships see frontal lobes.362-63 Psychoeducation. 716-17 equationsof. 170 forgiveness.INor. 230 stress survival tips for. I99 Head Firsc.5 principlesof governmentand. 363 haloperidol(Haldol). 379 filing systems.78 of "found" ttme.. 776 freedom. ?.218-20 years. bio-. 363-65 Self-help 354. 377-79 Feingold. 230-3r professional counselingand.180 FDA (Food and Drug Administration) 3L6. seefamily meetings grief process. 23r-32 sharedauthority in. Z3l. ll4-I7 group (paired) association. 433 . 351. rz7 z0L-43 . 779-30. 235 family relationships. 717. 365-68 . 80-82. family. 94. 94 govemment. in elementary school 38 emotional temperature and. of. 220-?. yourself.

339. 65-66 input/perceptual learning disabilities. Z8l insurance. 62 intercom Zl5 s. (Tofranil) 336 Imipramine . 264 input/outputproblems. 66-67 will and. 60 inhibition.275-76 infancy. 64-65 description 6l-62 of.71-77. ZB adolescence decrease and in.387-88 of childhood accidentsand. 376 impulsiveness. 77. 27-ZB fluctuatinglevelsof. 11. (working)memory. immediate 62_64 brain shut down and. 399-401 97. 166. 375. 52-53.345 humor. 67-63 Innoqt ation and Entrepr eneurship ( Drucker) .-64 medication and. 379 8.William L.sense . therapyand. 56-58 as rangeof behaviors. 53 of inaction.176 high blood pressure. 44. 308 hypertension. 333. 340 IDP Dynamic. 15. t 7 5 .3 2 7 benefits. 67*69 output learningdisabilities. ADD and. 300 reactiontime and. mental fatigueand. 5-7.. 1. 23. 320-ZL.L4 sedatives and. 72.INos.24 information processing. 3 cognitive tempo and. 3r-37 datingand. 126. seeattention index cards. 69-7 | cognitive tempo and. 393 in/out baskets. vs.325 Prozac and. 61. 44. 53 I-messages. trust vs.71 action/inactionbalanceand.320-21.I7Z. 64-65 input/output problemsand.x - heredity. 334 1 integrationlearningdisabilities.200 definitionand description of. 331-32.39 as asset deficit.1. 238 hidden agendas. 339. 300 instant recall.. 331-32. 194-95.. interfacing. I47 434 . L96-97 200 intention. mistrustin. r3-t4. girls. zz Heward. 309. 368 235. 308. 6r-7 | learningdisabilities and. 43. 35-39 of information explosion.-I3 triggering . 8. 30 inferiority. 370. 9-10.. 56.187 300 intensity .parentingvs. 89. 3I?. 28r immunesystem. 20-7. selective. 67. I43 speech and. 340 shopping and. . 166. 11.62-64.345 hypotension. seeaction inattention.196. 386-87 in boysvs. hyperactivity.

300 educationand.283. manners I5Z-54 . magazines newspapers. 360 L"pp. 377-73. 76. 73-74 340 low blood pressure. trade name forms of. lead poisonin 23 learnedhelplessness. dosage 784-87 auditory. 313-49 medication.Danielle . 286 ic. 333-34 435 . 16 magneticresonance mail order catalogs. 723-25 110. marriage. 67.299-303.M. 196 Inventor personalitysketch.340-41 Lamaze technique. and 752-53 imaging. liver. 270*25 mealtimes. 167 Doris Janzen. 357 "Keep it simple. 60 learningstyles. 118 bargaining levelsand. generic. 328-29 authors'personalexperiences with. 345 manic-depressive manipulation.3 and. 785.140 Longacre.278 JungianTherapy.Z8l. authors'disclaimerabout. MAO (monoamineoxidase) inhibitors. tips {or. 336 Living More With Less (Longacre).339-40 Marplan (lsocarboxazid)339 . long term memory. ((w e" ttme rtt and. 302-3 incidence of. learningdisabilities 278. as defense 88-90 mechanism."138. of. 94-95 learning. 320-?.260 disorders.Is intimacy.83 g. 299-300 spatialdifficultiesand. 339 Isocarboxazid job skills. 406 Johnson. 388-90 irritability. tactile/kinesthet 786 visual. 286.86-87 letter openers.Samuel. ?.140 locking in and blocking out.377 language and speechtherapy. 297-98 (LD) . 181-82. 49-50 logic. fear of. 377-79 genericvs. Lithium. 345-46 325-26 drug trials and. 388 356. l4l. 53 (Marplan). definition and rypesof.. 200 292-93 kinesthetic/tactilelearning. 7. 325-77 of effectiveness .44 Therapy 372-73 Massage . 355-56. 257 letters. 279. 762 kinestheticmemory. 246. I87 Levine. descriptions ZZ0-73 survivaltips for. 787 kleptomania.

34-35 middle finger sign. 98 memory and. 287-97 transferand. 407 Megatrend. L07 two main categories 304 of.-74. 290-91 overall. specrf drugs c (Naisbitr. stimulants.7. 292-93 lapses 280 in. 322 rote. paperpile management and. 294-95 and auditory 283. 409 Mellaril (thioridazine) 346 . 3I3-I4 at workplace. genericvs. Z9l storage and. 288-89 associations . 77. memory.295-97 monoamineoxidase(MAO) inhibitors. 289-90 comprehensionand. 67 -69 mental health professionals: referralsfor. acquisition and. 407-8. 294 memory leaming disabilities.215-L6 methylphenidate see Ritalin. 315-17 taking of.71. 130. 74. 72. . 150 Minnesota.. 150 of leamed helplessness and.-76.. Z9I-97. 2i8-80 information input and. ) miscellaneous. 335 risk/benefitequationand. Z9Z . 280-82 techniquesfor.371 moral inventory. 343 substance abuseand. 76 246. 293 observationand. 3r4-r5. 283. 283 436 . 69. choice and. 291 context and. 324 seealsoantidepressants. 75 visual. trade name forms of middle ear infections. 183. 344-49 reboundeffect and. leaming and. 71 anxietyand. 108 seealsopsychotherapy message centers.Universityof. 295-97 multi-sensory. z8z_84 kinesthetic.s Megawends 2000 (Naisbitt and Aburdene). 280-8?. 79I function and process of.83. and. 765-66 registration and.). 9. 284-87 mnemonic devicesand. 60-6I.Z7g-303 access 74-75. 95. 318-20. 300 men: control and. 288 Ritalin and.INngx -- medication (conr. I47 motivation: job performance and. 96 mental fatigue. 22 mnemonic devices. 7I-72 relaxation techniques and. 138. 95-97 language women vs. 330*3 1.339-40 Montessori education.185-86 your role in useof. typesof.

215 organization. 375 "must-do's"and "should-do's.169. 340 movies. 327-28 seealsospecific newrotTdnsmitters newspapers magazines. 22 nicotine. 256-59 437 . John.nurture vs. r39-43 "My Child Couldn't Pay Attention" (Alducci).44-45 neurologists. 17-18 neuroses. 54-56.350 office equipment.337 in. 370 Oedipal stage. 309 natural childbirth techniques. 347-49 NMR (nuclearmagnetic resonance).naturevs. 347 Naisbitt. 165. 409 .sqre 309 ek. 16 754-56 paperpile management. 150-52.desires and. . Nardil (Phenelzine). trips to. 378 Nadolol (Corgard). 18. 33-34. 26I-62 generalmessmanagement. functionof..r55.. 182-83 Office for the Study of Unconventional Medical Practices.S. . 293 musclerelaxation. 22 needs. 337 nuclear magnetic resonance (NMR). . 339 National Institutesof Health. U. observation. beginning tips for.16 nurture. 26I-67 filing systems and. No gain..memory and. 170. " "no. 345 OccupationalTherapists. 339. 262. New York Longitudinal Study. and 325. 327. dryness 320.-53 Neu. 309 Office of Education. 337. "No pain. 169.183-84 nonverbal communication. 290-9r obsessive-compuls disorders. 341 Norpramin (desipramine) 336. 250-54 generaloffice management. 350 neurotransmitters. 84 noise. 1.288." inabiliryto express. 244-77 3. ive 377 nature." 167 noradrenaline(norepinephrine). 108 neurology.INpex - motor coordination.369. 3Zg.77. 259-61. 725-78 multi-sensory memory. L6-I7. 126. 37 5 4-7 mouth. 299 "on the run" conversations. Zrl 172. 20-2I. 407 408. 18 drug response and.263-69 practical messmanagement tools.337. 341 257. 246-50 cardinalrulesfor.

D. to do's of .INoEx - (cont. 300 perfectionism.52. seealsofamily relationships Pamate (Tranylcypromine). 764 cardinal rules for. 327. 108. 283 overpersistence. 335- 259-6r.300 seealsoinput/output problems outsidehelp. 279.) organization questionnaireon. parenting. 324 PhysiciansDesk Reference 264-65 planning notebooksand. 244-45 Ritalin and. 343 perceptuauinput leaming disabilities. 83-85 personalyellow pages. 260. 40 pemoline(Cylert). 776 Post-ltNotes and.7. 339 Phenelzine phobia.262. 267. 261-62 in/out basketsand. 764 filing systems for.97 -99 pets.63-69 bulletin boardsand.D. 330. 260. 267 simplicity and. 144 overall memory. Parent handling the Disorder (Ph. 330 peer pressure. 103-4 for (Physicians PDR Desk Reference). 262 storageand access 763-64 of. 154-55 physicians. 72 269_77 Orton DyslexiaSociety. 33 individual strengthsand weaknesses 206-8 of. 295 paperpile management. hiring of. 263-68 (PDR). (Parenthandling the Disorder). 60-61 time management and.740 feelingsof inadequacy and. 27. 321 (Nardil). Z0-ZI. 262 spatialdifficultiesand. 267-68 personalyellow pages and. 266. 766. 336 Penicillin. definition of. 29 family meetingsrole of .. 53 Peter Pan Syndrome. 260-61 color-codingand. 76I-62 categorizationof.330 planning notebooks. 370. 265-66 desktop files and. 302 otitis media. 776 schedulingand location of handling of . 329 simplicity and. parents.339 party animals. heredity vs. 276 playing hard to get. 34-35 output leaming disabilities.40 blame theory and. 266-67 cuesand promptsand. 264 ongoing to do lists and.264-65 pessimism. ZI-23. 737. L99 438 .3 Ph.100-101 passing normal. 49-50. 59 paired (group) association. 321 ). II0.

309. 109 psychotherapy. Prince Charming. 108. 108 Psychodrama.359 group. Sullivanian. 66-67. 130 pregnancy. 2gg. 402-4 progressive musclerelaxation. llz depression and. 350. 320. hitting rock bottom and. 335 recovery: acceptanceand. 342-43 dosage levels of. guilt in. 359 Psychodynamic. LZ9. Psychodrama. 130 grief process ll4-I7 in. IZ-13.360-7I 357 Jungian. 340-4I controversyover.Psychology. 336 . 360 Gestalt. 23 preschoolyears. LZ5 moral inventory and. 276_77 Professional Dilettanre personalitysketch. 359 Cognitive. 358 rebound effecr. I77 twelve-step programs and. quiet zones. 124-46 definition of. 34I side effectsof. 363-65 psychologists. 256_57 Post-lt Nores.initiative vs. 267. 35L. 357 Behavioral. 75 reading skills. lI4-15 Analytic. 33-35 primary sleepdisorder 20. memory 72-73 R"pp.3 balanceand. 1. 398-99 postage scales and stamps. . 341. 2I4 randomaccess (RAM). -55 357 stigma attached 304-6 to. LL8-ZI goal of. 342-43 psychiatrists. 133-38 "should-do's"and "mustdo's.369 Prozac(fluoxetine hydrochloride) 324. 1 Dynamic. 350. 357 356. I98. 35I. 358 Freudian. 130 self-evaluarion and. 51. 165 RealityTherapy. 7 35 Transactional Analysis358-59 . Doris. ZOI privacy. 139-43 " social benefitsof. 356. lzl-7.2T6 Post-Traumatic StressDisorder. 359 128-30 see also fteatment 439 . 330-3L. 359 Psychqdynamic Psychotherapy. Reality. 69_70 powerlessness.379 reaction time.complicationsin. 340_44 benefitsof.356-57. 358 Self.357 Psychoeducation. Zl}-Ll procrasrinarion.INoex - Plumberpersonalitysketch. 352-53. 353-55.375 proprioceptivesense.

375 techniques.64.INopx - registration. 58 benefitsof. 199-201. 67 190-91 self-employment.lz-17 t7 at workplace. Scheiber.Barbara. relaxation restand -78 r77 unwritten. followingand questioning 7. 167 201-8. 382 recovery 58 3l-3?. 381 of benefits . 82-83 4I. 79I 77. 93. rules: of. 194-Z0L of. ll7." 142 risky behavior: in adolescence. 35 respiratory zones. Salesperson -98 397 zr3*r4 19-20 postage. 166-67 -67 in groups. 327. religion. survival -87. reticular activating system. 4-93 also communication. 35-39. self-esteem: of and acceptance imperfections. 333-34 of.82-83 as defense 440 . durationof effects 329-30 generic tradenameforms vs. 74. 329 childrenand.177 Ritalin. seizure attention and selective intention. in adulthood.88. 4?. remedial lists. 147 43. retrieval.273 reminder problems. -ZI7 relationships. 170-73.329 of dosage of. 111 low.memory and..L57 impaired socialskillsand. L6Z-67.785 3-4 schizophrenia.257 retum address "revolutionarybad ejectot.58. 130. 178-79 "runner'shigh. relaxation 374 Relaxman. -77.4. 374 disorders. 7." 18 personalitysketch. 370-22. descriptions 157-62.94-99. see speech familyrelationships. 330-32 rotememorization. 164. of. dating. 44 childhood accidentsand. 175-77. 209-12 feedback and. ascontrolled levels . . 307-8 315 substance. L3Z-33 schedules. 7. 274 Scientistpersonalitysketch. 257 scales. 3?. 71-72 memory and. 7l-72 rehearsal. mechanism. 395-97 308 sedatives.337 343. 76-78 t67--73 orre-orr-orrer tipsfor. 1. 5-7 . 118. weekly. sideeffects 370-21'. "school" lists. 329-34.I45 l8Z writing classes. of memory. and. 7 4-7 5 stamps.lI3-14 of boosting .326.

165 hyperactive.99-100 speech: developmental lagsin. t.INoex - self-evaluation. r67 317-18 44r . 187 reaction time and. 43. L66. 11 skin patches.LZ9 serotonin. 133-38 can't/shouldn'tdo list. space cadets. 34-35 digressions and. 145 staples. 8 stimulants. 150 timing of. r40-42 single-mindedness. 354 smoking 347 . 137-38 do adequately 136-37 list. 165 verbal incontinenceand. 257 standards. 62-64. -58 357 (SI). Smith. 238 simplicity/complexity equation. The. 60 space. 316. socialactivities. 257 S. 73. Short AttentionSpanThearcr.impulsivityand.143 socialskills. 64 spatialdifficultiesand. 11 short term memory. relationships speechand language therapy. 319 stenopads. 355-56. 44 impairment 37.741 Still.244-45 self-help programs. 328. 34I sex. 24 -49. 56.318 Self-Psychology. self-medication. I87 . F. 42. stamps." r02-3 seealsocommunication. 373 shopping. 60 postage.7 "should-do's" and "must-do's.R. 316-17..sense 60-61 of. 133-36 self-help books. 20. G. 363 socioeconomic status.82. 329-36 as preventative measure.A.84. 339.retum address. 75 rhythm and. 101 4 sexualabuse. 337. and Reflect).5T Sign Here: A ContractingBook for Children and Their (Dardig and Parents Heward). Think.I4-I5 impulsivityand. do well list.345 sleepdisorder. primary. 360 sports: action/inactionbalanceand. 757 stamps. 369-7 r siestas. r39_43 SI (Sensory Integration). 3-4. 66-67.327. (Stop. 336 sleeping pattems 33. 38. Lendon. lowering of. 76-78 in.44 sorting and filing. Act. Sensory Integration 369-7 r SerenityPrayer.275-76 STEP programs. Social Skills Training. I42 . selectionof.T. 365-68 354. 37.

callbackschedulefor.24. 34 Testy. 746-47 indicatorsof.. 3lZ-13 impulsivity and speech.32. 61 systems. 156 at workplace. 355-56. educational 360 and. 44. T . 1. learning. 40 .186 Training for Systematic EffectiveParenting(STEP) T4I programs.59 Tegretol (Caramazepine)344 . A . . tactile/kinesthetic 338 350-80 304-23. 4 1 Stop. 276 communicationproblemson' r54-55 mannersand. 33. 55.139 of. 5-6. Tardive dyskines 346-47 T-cells.1 .183 structure. 797-98 styles. 357 supportgroups.INpr. over. Act. templates. R . and Reflect ( s . 306-10. ADD recognitionand.vs.-23 .x f-- stimulation. 37l-79 alternative. TelephoneTyrant Syndrome(TTTS). Think. 43.250-5I abuse.35.357. 280-82 stress. Harry Stack. remediation. 72-74' storage. 38-39 negativefeelingsinstilled bY.315-17 success. assessment 230 disorderand.8 7 . your own case and being manager 3lI-17.63. l9l-9/ temporary TerribleZ's. 1 0 1 .134 work-related. 106-7' Talpers.285 ia. 156 " "therapeuticwindow effect. ZZ8 telephones. 175-26 Stuff Inventory. 773 survival tips for useof. theory of. 154. under-. therapy. substance 8 7 . 3 75 teacherplan books. professional 10i symptommanagement.of temperamental children 22.I8Z work. 3 1 9 1 memoryand. 1 2 6 . 34. psychotherapy 92-93 442 .184-85 television. "take me or leave me" attitude. 272 teachers 79.360 seealsomedication. I53 es mealtim and. TA (TransactionalAnalYsis). ) . 31.41.freedomvs.3 3 6 of medications.Jeanne. 154-56.287 369 tactile sense. L6r-62 referralsfrom. 133 34 group communication in. 358-59 52 tactile defensiveness. language 286. 404-6 sugar. 379 Sullivan.

346 TTTS (Testy. 30-33 "To Do" lists. r32-33 TM (Transcendental Meditation). sensitivityto. 9 U nlockingP otential(Scheiber and Talpers). r56 twelve-step groups. 22 tyramine 339 .73-74 "found. 276-77 51.?. 147. 295 Thioridazine(Mellaril).336 toilet training.. 288.285 verbalincontinence.autonomyvs. 131.751. Telephone Tyrant Syndrome).791-9?. 57 -58 20. underarousal. 128-30. zz6 "Everyday. Alan. 286-87. management tools for. lI0-23 bargaining and. 33 touch. analogical vs. 59. environmental. 274 steno padsand index cards and. shameand doubt in. 336-38 triggers.57 time: daily logs and sheets and. 346 37 -7 s 6 visualmemory. UndifferentiatedADD.37 4-7 5 visualization techniques. 369 Virtual Reality. 2. 270.memory and. 346 Thorazine (chlorpromazine). toxins. . 276 " management 269-77 of. studieson.recovery tricyclic antidepressanrs. reminder lists and. 1 3 93 6 5 3 6 7 . of. 339 trash cans.294 443 . 332-33. differential.-13. 110-11 seealsomedication. 275-76 waterproofalarm watches and. 111 personal role in. 57 Tourette Syndrome(TS). 74 Tofranil (lmipramine). 332-33. out the Door" Get listsand. z7z-73 elasticsense 58-60. (TM). 358-59 Transcendental Meditation 346 Three (or Four) Big Boxes. 773 "school"listsand. twins. .283.252 rreatment. 118 costof. 355 TS (Tourette Syndrome). 767-68 Toffler.I54. 294-95 visual learning 285. 55.INnrx - thinking. 377 transfer.L02-3 vestibular sense.23 Transactional Analysis(TA). 75 Tranylcypromine(Parnate). 17. 328. 770-72 procrastination and. 775 weekly schedules and.377 toddler years. 11.

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as professor clinical coordinatorfor psychobiological assistant and research. Kelly'swork moved in a new direction.She becamea championfor individualswith severe mental illnesses. in Her professional backgroundincludesexperience as a therapist. Kelly'sprior publishing creditsinclude an article entitled Fostenng publishedin the Archives of Psychiatric SeIf-HeIp anlnpanentLJnit. Combining her personal and professional interests in adult ADD. shebeganto focuson this emerging areaof mental health. to for she founded the adult supportgroup of the Attention Deficit Disorder Council of GreaterCincinnati in February 1990. Kelly is a master's clinical specialist psychiatricnursing. Responding the need to provide services ADD adults. believingthat even thosewith severe impairmentscould leam to managetheir own illnesses.Although sheno of longerfacilitatesthis group. Kelly gathered from availableliteratureand the personal storiesof ADD adultsin Cincinnati and nationwide leadto her work in writin g I'm I.shecontinuesto consultwith the Council on adult ADD and supportgroup issues. . suchasschizophrenia. Stupid CraTyJ Currently she is ot or ? usingher personaland professional experiences knowledgeto give and presentations adult ADD for lay and professional on groups. She also works in private practiceleadingpsychoeducational therapygroups for ADD adults.This article chronicledthe resultsof her work in developing a model for an inpatient groupthat helpedchronicallymentally ill patientslearn and shareeffectivecoping strategies. Her graduate educationfocused chronic mental illnessand this on orientation eventuallyled her to an interestin the mental health selfhelp movement.'J Inzy . on Nursing. The information Ms.About Authors the Kate Kelly prepared Ms.Ms. Followingher diagnosis with ADHD in 1989. Ms.

lecturesextensivelyon ADD.Ms.shebecamean advocatefor the right of everychild to leam.A committed and innovative parent. she is helping collegestudentsand adolescents their leaming at the post.As Executive Director. Ramundo compietedpostand Montessori graduatework in leaming disabilities.Peggy Ramundo as Recognized an outstandingteacher. beganto focuson ADD issues After Ms. in ADD diagnosis 1987. Ms.Currently. level. Under her direction. and implementeda non-gradedprimary curriculum. about courseselectionand careers. and the personaland professional experiences Ramundo'sresearch. Tipt. Ramundo's and adults. Her other publishing credits include handbooksfor parentsand teachersentitled. Stupid CraTyJ? evolvedfrom Ms. the teacherand parent. taught She designed summerenrichment readingprogramsand servedasa demonstration teacher. the new non-proflt Clifton MontessoriCenter wasformed to continue the tradition of providing tuition-free scholarshipsto many children from low-income families. in she diagnosis. adolescents and adultswith whom shehas worked. she spear-headed movement to createa new school. as Ms.ennon . The National Institute for Attention Deficit Disorder.In 1990.\fhen the parent corporation closed Center Rooms a the \fest site.Ms. Ramundohas served aspresidentof the boardsof the Clifton Child Study ParentGroup and 'West Montessori. she conductsworkshopsand throughout the country for parents. and make decisions secondary has or YouMeanl'm Not Laz). she co-foundedthe Attention Deficit Disorder Council of GreaterCincinnati and continuesto serveasa boardmember. Ramundobeganextensively After her son's as Drawing on her experience a dedicated researching disorder.behavior disorders children most of with culturally disadvantaged education.she foundedNIADD. Ramundo works professionally an educationalconsultant. ManagingAu.educators in-servicetraining sessions and and mental health professionals. Toolsand and Teclmiques Mutaging AttennonDeficit Disorderand Understanding far Deficit Disorderin the Clnssroom. of experiences the countlessnumbersof ADD children. manage youngadultsaccess availableservices.\Torking her career.

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