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# 1he 90,10 Principle 1he 90,10 Principle

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Author: Stephen Coey Author: Stephen Coey
Discoer the 90,10 Principle Discoer the 90,10 Principle
It will change your lie It will change your lie
,or at least, the way you react to situations, ,or at least, the way you react to situations,
hat is this Principle hat is this Principle
10 o lie is made up 10 o lie is made up
o what happens to you. o what happens to you.
.90 o lie is decided by .90 o lie is decided by
how you react. how you react.
hat does this mean hat does this mean
e really hae NO control e really hae NO control
oer 10 o what happens to us. oer 10 o what happens to us.
e cannot stop the car rom breaking down. e cannot stop the car rom breaking down.
1he plane will be late arriing, which throws our whole schedule o. 1he plane will be late arriing, which throws our whole schedule o.
A drier may cut us o in the traic. A drier may cut us o in the traic.
e hae NO control oer this 10. e hae NO control oer this 10.
1he other 90 is dierent. 1he other 90 is dierent.
\ou determine the other 90. \ou determine the other 90.
low... By your reaction. low... By your reaction.
\ou cannot control a red light. \ou cannot control a red light.
loweer, you can control your reaction. loweer, you can control your reaction.
Do not let people ool you. Do not let people ool you.
\OU can control how you react. \OU can control how you react.
Let us use an example. Let us use an example.
\ou are haing breakast with your amily. \ou are haing breakast with your amily.
\our daughter knocks oer a cup o coee \our daughter knocks oer a cup o coee
\ou hae no control oer what has just happened. \ou hae no control oer what has just happened.
hat happens next hat happens next
will be determined by how you react. will be determined by how you react.
\ou curse. \ou curse.
\ou harshly scold your daughter or knocking the cup oer. \ou harshly scold your daughter or knocking the cup oer.
She breaks down in tears. She breaks down in tears.
Ater scolding her, you turn to your wie Ater scolding her, you turn to your wie
and you criticize her or placing the cup and you criticize her or placing the cup
too close to the edge o the table. too close to the edge o the table.
A short erbal battle ollows. A short erbal battle ollows.
\ou storm upstairs and change your shirt. \ou storm upstairs and change your shirt.
Back downstairs, you ind your daughter has been too busy crying Back downstairs, you ind your daughter has been too busy crying
to inish her breakast and getting ready to go to school. to inish her breakast and getting ready to go to school.
She misses the bus. She misses the bus.
\our spouse must leae immediately or work. \our spouse must leae immediately or work.
\ou rush to the car and drie your daughter to school. \ou rush to the car and drie your daughter to school.
Because you are late, Because you are late,
you drie 40 miles per hour you drie 40 miles per hour
in a 30 mph speed limit zone. in a 30 mph speed limit zone.
Ater a 15 Ater a 15--minute delay and throwing minute delay and throwing
>60.00 traic ine away, you arrie at school. >60.00 traic ine away, you arrie at school.
\our daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye. \our daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
Ater arriing at the oice 20 minute late, Ater arriing at the oice 20 minute late,
\ou realize you orgot your briecase. \ou realize you orgot your briecase.
\our day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse. \our day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
\ou look orward to coming home. \ou look orward to coming home.
hen you arrie home, you ind a small wedge hen you arrie home, you ind a small wedge
in your relationship with your wie and daughter. in your relationship with your wie and daughter.
hy hy
Because o how you reacted in the morning Because o how you reacted in the morning..
hy did you hae a bad day hy did you hae a bad day
A, Did the coee cause it A, Did the coee cause it
B, Did your daughter cause it B, Did your daughter cause it
C, Did the policeman cause it C, Did the policeman cause it
D, Did you cause it D, Did you cause it
1he answer is D` 1he answer is D`
\ou had no control oer what happened with the coee. \ou had no control oer what happened with the coee.
low you reacted in those 5 seconds low you reacted in those 5 seconds
lere is what could hae and should hae happened. lere is what could hae and should hae happened.
Coe splashes oer you. Coe splashes oer you.
\our daughter is about to cry. \our daughter is about to cry.
\ou gently say: \ou gently say:
'Its okay, honey, you fust need to be 'Its okay, honey, you fust need to be
More careful next time.` More careful next time.`
Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt.
\ou grab your briecase, and you come back down in time to look through \ou grab your briecase, and you come back down in time to look through
the window and see your child getting on the bus. the window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waes. \ou arrie 5 minutes early a cheerully greet the sta. She turns and waes. \ou arrie 5 minutes early a cheerully greet the sta.
Notice the dierence Notice the dierence
1wo dierent scenarios. 1wo dierent scenarios.
Both started the same. Both started the same.
Both ended dierent. Both ended dierent.
hy hy
Because o how you reacted Because o how you reacted..
\ou really hae no control oer 10 \ou really hae no control oer 10
o what happens in your lie. o what happens in your lie.
1he other 90 was determined by your reaction. 1he other 90 was determined by your reaction.
lere are some ways to apply the 90,10 Principle. lere are some ways to apply the 90,10 Principle.
I someone says something negatie about you, I someone says something negatie about you,
do not be a sponge. do not be a sponge.
Let the attack roll o like water on glass. Let the attack roll o like water on glass.
\ou do not hae to let the negatie comments \ou do not hae to let the negatie comments
aect you. aect you.
React properly and it will not ruin your day. React properly and it will not ruin your day.
A wrong reaction could result in losing a riend, A wrong reaction could result in losing a riend,
being ired, or getting stressed out. being ired, or getting stressed out.
low do you react i someone cuts you o in the traic low do you react i someone cuts you o in the traic
Do you lose your temper Do you lose your temper
Pound on the steering wheel Pound on the steering wheel a friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off) a friend of mine had the steering wheel fall off),,
Do you curse Does your blood pressure skyrocket Do you curse Does your blood pressure skyrocket
ho cares i you arrie 10 seconds later at work ho cares i you arrie 10 seconds later at work
hy let the cars ruin your drie hy let the cars ruin your drie
Remember the 90,10 Principle Remember the 90,10 Principle
and don`t worry about it. and don`t worry about it.
\ou are told you lost your job. \ou are told you lost your job.
hy lose sleep and get irritated hy lose sleep and get irritated
It will work out. It will work out.
Use your worrying energy and time Use your worrying energy and time
to ind a new job. to ind a new job.
1he plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule or the day. 1he plane is late. It is going to mangle your schedule or the day.
hy take out your rustration on the light attendant hy take out your rustration on the light attendant
She has no control oer what is going on. She has no control oer what is going on.
Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, why stress out Use your time to study, get to know the other passenger, why stress out
It will just make things worse. It will just make things worse.
Now you know the 90,10 Principle. Now you know the 90,10 Principle.
Apply it and you will be amazed at the results. Apply it and you will be amazed at the results.
\ou will lose nothing i you try it. \ou will lose nothing i you try it.
1he 90,10 Principle is incredible. 1he 90,10 Principle is incredible.
Very ew know and apply this Principle. Very ew know and apply this Principle.
1he result 1he result
\ou will see it by yoursel! \ou will see it by yoursel!
illions o people are suering illions o people are suering
rom undesered stress, rom undesered stress,
trials, problems and headaches. trials, problems and headaches.
e all must understand and apply the e all must understand and apply the
90,10 Principle. 90,10 Principle.
It can change your lie! It can change your lie!
.Lnjoy it... .Lnjoy it...
It only takes willpower to gie ourseles It only takes willpower to gie ourseles
permission to make the experience. permission to make the experience.
Absolutely eerything we do, gie, say, or een think, it`s like a Boomerang. Absolutely eerything we do, gie, say, or een think, it`s like a Boomerang.
It will come back to us... It will come back to us...
I we want to receie, we need to learn to gie irst... I we want to receie, we need to learn to gie irst...
aybe we will end with our hands empty, aybe we will end with our hands empty,
but our heart will be illed with loe... but our heart will be illed with loe...
And those who loe lie, And those who loe lie,
hae that eeling marked in their hearts . hae that eeling marked in their hearts .
1he Lnd 1he Lnd
Re Re--edition , concepts and photography using ree access images rom the net edition , concepts and photography using ree access images rom the net
Courtesy o Courtesy o Carlos Rangel Carlos Rangel