Watch me.

Watch me as I paint a smile on to this easel of a face, as I replace its dying eyes with ones that shine like teeth in the mouth of a hurricane, as I raise the shoulders until people believe the lie that I am confident, and hide the fact that my self-esteem has been left in ruins. Watch me as I climb the mountains that conceal their summit, forever disallowing me to reach it and move on making me constantly slip and stumble on the lost words and on the fractures of my mind, meaning I am broken once again, falling to the bottom of this cliff of despair. Because what I mean is that I am a stolen work of art and an unfathomable mountain, and that through all this laughter I so convincingly express my insides are tearing apart and my soul is left mangled in what used to be a perfected heart because I cannot cope with all the hate and pressure of what a human society is. And while the human in the life I know are content with my lies I am disgusted that I feel this sorrow and this loneliness in a world so cruel and a world so beautiful, And I am trying to change my heart and mind because I am sick of the tears, I am sick of the tears that could last one thousand years, and I am sick of the fears to move forward, and to remember. Because I am just another belittled soul wandering down a path of nothing trying and failing to find out what is so wrong with a heart so strong because maybe she tried to be strong too long and she is weak and finished.

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