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volume 45 / issue 16 January 25, 2012 theeyeopener.com Since 1967

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The Eyeopener

January 25, 2012

Come and see what was inside the 1931 time capsule found in Maple Leaf Gardens.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 26, 2012
1 to 5 p.m. The Atrium, 3rd floor George Vari Engineering and Computing Centre Ryerson University 245 Church Street, Toronto
All members of the community are welcome.

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January 25, 2012

NEWS

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3

A Ram remembered
Sandra Pothier touched the lives of many before having to step down in 2009 to battle her cancer. Over the weekend she passed away Sports Editor Gabriel Lee reports

Pitman’s on fire
BY DASHA ZOLOTA

Pothier managing a huddle during a Rams game.
Ryerson athletics won’t remember Sandra Pothier for what she accomplished with the women’s basketball team in her remarkable career as the team’s head coach, or for the motivational techniques she used to help her team achieve that success. The legacy that Sandy Pothier left behind here at Ryerson is defined by the way she made people feel over her 18-years of coaching at the university. After a two-year battle with cancer, the longtime head-basketball coach died on Jan. 21, 2012. She was 50. Pothier was a mentor, a teacher, a visionary and above all a leader. “It’s still doesn’t feel real,” said Ashley McDonald, a fifth-year guard who played under Pothier for three seasons. “When I was visiting her over the Christmas break at her mom’s house, she related her battle with cancer into basketball terms so I’d be able to understand what she’s going through better.” When the news of her illness initially broke, letters of supports from former players, friends and colleagues came pouring in; and social media erupted with tributes to her. Since her passing, her biological family and her basketball family have been hit the hardest. In class Monday morning, Kelsey Wright found it difficult to focus on much else besides the memories of her former coach left her with. Wright changed the background on her phone to a candid photo of Pothier to remind herself of the invaluable lessons she learned from her. “She was just so intense on the court,” said Wright. “But off the court she was a person who genuinely cared about you.” Pothier’s entire life revolved around the game of basketball. As a player she played professionally in Europe, winning a Southern Bavarian championship. She coached at every level imaginable, from the Ryerson women’s team to working as an apprentice coach for the Canadian National Team.

FILE PHOTO

It’s more than what she’s done for Ryerson even though she put her life into this program. Charles Kissi, women’s basketball coach

The mentor and leader of the women’s basketball team left on medical leave in 2009, handing off the job to her hand picked successor, Charles Kissi. Pothier ended her career at Ryerson with her best-ever regular season finish, as her team boasted an impressive 14-8 record. That year, four of her players were recognized with Ontario University Athletics (OUA) all-star selections — the most of any team in the province.

“It’s more than what she’s done for Ryerson, even though she put her life into this program” said Charles Kissi. “It’s about what she’s done for basketball in this country. Due to her unconditional commitment to basketball, she never found time to do much else while she was involved with the game. So after she took her medical leave in 2009, she took the opportunity to travel more in a year than modt people do in 10, visiting Peru, Mexico, Arizona and the Grand Canyon. While in Peru with a group of friends she met running a triathlon, she climbed several mountains throughout the country despite her frail state. This past Christmas, she went tobogganing with her nieces against her brother’s wishes; another testament to the competitive fire that she preached day in and day out. Wins and losses was never Pothier’s biggest priority. She used basketball to create a culture of “strong independent women” at Ryerson. Her time at Ryerson was not without controversy however. In 2006, five members of the women’s basketball team quit over alleged racist comments made by Pothier towards black players. The allegations remain unproven and in 2010 Ryerson recognized her contributions to university life and campus athletics with a $5,000 bursary. The bursary was revealed during a surprise announcement at that year’s Darcel Wright Classic.

A tenth-floor fire forced Pitman Hall residents to evacuate the building last Friday after a kitchenette in the floor’s common area caught fire. Chad Nuttal, the manager of student housing services, said that the fire was suspected to caused by electrical problems and that there was no indication of arson. Joseph Lombardi, a firstyear aerospace-engineering student, described the fire as a ball of red flames that engulfed the oven, with smoke blackening lights and soot covering the ceiling. “At first I thought it was the girls down the hall because they’re bad cooks — but they weren’t cooking,” he said. “Surprisingly, the toaster wasn’t burned; the George Foreman wasn’t burned. The fire didn’t spread very well, which was good.” Lombardi also said that he had just left his room, which was located right beside the kitchenette, before hearing the fire alarm go off. “People were kind of shocked,” he added. “They didn’t expect there would be

an actual fire. No one was panicking though. Everyone was pretty calm about it.” It doesn’t appear as though anyone was using that particular stove at the time of the incident. Two other students noted that there was a party at the opposite end of the hall at the same time, and they had no idea as to what happened. They noted that smoke hadn’t travelled down the hallways of the residence. Nutall explained that in buildings such as Pitman, floors often have to have holes punched in them to run cables and plumbing. “Last summer, we went through the process of plugging those holes, what they call fire-stopping,” he said. “We plugged all those holes up with a special fire-retardant material so the fire can’t spread from floor to floor. Thank goodness we did that.” All residents are back in Pitman now, and the fire department is investigating. The cost of the damage is unknown, but Nuttall estimates that it is under $50,000 and that the school will pay the damages.

Floor 10 kitchenette after the fire.

PHOTO: JOSEPH LOMBARDI

Refunds pending for Maggie’s closure
BY TANYA MOK

Residents of the priciest dorm on campus are going hungry this winter semester. The International Living and Learning Centre (ILLC) has yet to re-open its cafeteria, Maggie’s Eatery, after sewage pipes swamped the first floor of the building on Nov. 2, forcing students to travel elsewhere for meals. Student Housing Services (SHS) told residents in November via e-mail that damages would

be fixed once they got back from the winter break. The date has been pushed back several times, and now students have been told that renovations won’t be completed until springtime. The extended absence of Maggie’s comes as yet another blow to ILLC residents. “Major renovation work continues to the cafeteria and they expect it to be back in full operation by March,” said Ryerson President Sheldon Levy. A temporary tuck shop called Grab N’ Go selling snacks like fruit

and pre-packaged salads has been opened on ILLC’s first floor, but there are no full meals for sale. Residents have also been redirected to the cafeteria at Pitman Hall, but few have made the switch over, saying the food options aren’t as varied as Maggie’s, and don’t taste as good either. “If you want to eat healthy, you’re screwed,” says Geoff Lachapelle, a first-year radio and television arts major. Residents seeking more variety have now started eating a lot off

campus, spending cash rather than the pre-paid money on their OneCard. Fernandes says she still has around $2,100 on her card — money that she won’t get back at the end of the year. SHS has started inquiring about a form of compensation for students. “The extent of the compensation has yet to be determined,” said Levy. Students think they should get back their mandatory meal plan money. Nearing their third month without a cafeteria, ILLC residents

have only had ten weeks of the services they paid for. “It’s bullshit, utter bullshit,” said third-year hospitality student Carson Robertson. “The worst thing is we pay the most of all the residences. They’re taking our money and we aren’t getting anything.” Paying up to $1,776 more than Pitman residents and $7,827.50 more than O’Keefe residents, many students are wondering why they chose ILLC in the first place.

4

The Eyeopener

EDITORIAL

January 25, 2012

This students’ union joke isn’t funny anymore
LAUREN STRAPAGIEL EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

We decided to run our fun editor Suraj Singh for RSU president this year as a joke. We planned to satirize the homogeneous, uninspired and downright dullness that has plagued the elections for years. Problem is, it’s not really funny anymore. At The Eyeopener we have traditionally, and rightfully so, been critical of the seeming one-party system our student politics has turned into. Year after year we see the same group of candidates rise through the ranks. They’ve all been Canadian Federation of Students proponents, left-wing, and, perhaps most tellingly, from the same group of chums. This year the pattern has come to a head. When the candidates were released, the winners were already chosen. Every executive position, save president, has only one candidate, and they’re all from the same slate who have dominated Ryerson student politics for most of the last decade. Opposing opinions and candidate diversity has not just been squashed, but silenced. On page 7, News Editor Sean Tepper will give some more insight on this election’s astoundingly limited options. You may find yourself asking, if these are the only people running, does that not make them the most qualified for the job? But that is not how democracy works, friends. I do not doubt the slate owning this election is made up of dedicated individuals who genuinely care about Ryerson students. And I don’t doubt that their experience will aid them on the job. I’m even a

leftist myself and, at least theoretically, I believe student unions are a necessary and powerful advocate for us all. But I also think it’s ludicrous that the current and previous executives have exerted so much control over the student union that the principals of democracy, dear to any prounion leftist, have disappeared. The Eyeopener is officially endorsing Suraj Singh for president. Not just because we want to be hell raisers or have a laugh, but because someone needs to send a message that the current state of the RSU is

a joke and more than ever it’s time for change. So whether you do it for a laugh and to make a statement, vote for Suraj. Or vote for him because he’s a dedicated Ryerson student who has involved himself deeply in this school (and brought Ryerson headlines as the most interviewed Canadian Quidditch player ever). Or just don’t vote. I wouldn’t blame you. This year’s poor showing sends a clear message that your opinions, your political agency and your power within the student union just doesn’t mean much.

Lauren “PETTICOAT” Strapagiel Rebecca “LARGE BOX?” Burton Carolyn “BAD DAY” Turgeon Sean “DOG STIFFY’” Tepper Kai “1 WEEK LEFT” Benson Sarah “ADVENTURE” Del Giallo Sean “FIRSTIE” Wetselaar Gabe “PRAYIN’ 4 U” Lee Nicole “VANITY FAIR” Siena Lindsay “HATES PANERA” Boeckl Mohamed “BEST IN SHOW” Omar Marissa “SNIFFLES” Dederer Suraj “PRESIDENT” Singh Lee “BABY VOMIT” Richardson

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF NEWS

Jeff “WHO?” Lagerquist John “MIDNIGHT COWBOY” Shmuel Liane “CONNECTOR” McLarty

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J.D. “CUT (IT) OUT” Mowat Rina “COPA” Tse Sadie “CABANA” McInnes Sandy “CUTE AS SHIT” Dog Susana “TRANSIT’” Gomez-Baez Kayla “BLUENOSE” Hoolwerf Jeremy “15,000” Lin Lauren “RSU” Fogazzi Tanya “FLOOD” Mok Abigale “GUARDLY” Subhan Dasha “FIRE” Zolota Chris “MAGPIE” Babic Nick “AFC” Hone Playing the role of the Annoying Talking Coffee Mug this week... Unreturned phone calls. You’re right upstairs.. The Eyeopener is Ryerson’s largest and independent student newspaper. It is owned and operated by Rye Eye Publishing Inc., a non-profit corporation owned by the students of Ryerson. Our offices are on the second floor of the Student Campus Centre and you can reach us at 416-979-5262 or www.theeyeopener.com.
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January 25, 2012

NEWS

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5

Students sniff out problem

Ryerson offers up cash
BY JEREMY LIN

The laser located on the first floor of the Architecture building.
REBECCA BURTON NEWS EDITOR

PHOTOS: MOHAMED OMAR

Reports of strong odours emanating from the laser cutter room in the architecture building have fueled an investigation into the ventilation system of the area. But as students continue to use the equipment, the joint occupational health and safety committee (JOHSC) claims it has been shut down. “It was brought to the attention of the JOHSC that there was an odour. The environmental safety department followed up and the source of the odour was identified as the laser cutter. It has since been shut down and an investigation is now underway,” said president Sheldon Levy. Initial reports from the departmental council meeting on Nov. 24, 2011 indicated the air quality of the laser cutter room was brought into question.

The minutes say that no alterations would be possible until the summer of 2012 and that staff are currently seeking short-term alterations. One proposed option was additional ventilation through the roof. Lab technician Frank Bowen said the laser cutter is still in use and has been temporarily fixed until a better filter can be installed. “People were sensitive to the odour,” he said, in reference to the JOHSC investigating the equipment. Bowen said the problems had been occurring for the past two months. Changes to what materials students are allowed to cut has been implemented and proper safety regulations, including face masks, continue as normal. While Bowen claimed the problems were “easily fixed” and they were simply waiting on an engineering report that is “probably sitting in campus planning,” direc-

tor of the department of environmental health and safety and security, Julia Lewis, indicated the laser cutter has been “shut down due to concerns.” “We can confirm the [ventilation extractor for the machine] was in good shape even though they did shut it down to address general ventilation in the the room,” said Lewis. Additional minutes from the Nov. 24 meeting reported staff, including Bowen, were constantly cleaning filters and limiting the amount of plastic being used. It was also reported that better quality plastic was now being ordered. Bowen did verify the architecture school will be replacing the entire HVAC system in the building this coming summer because of the aging system in place. “We can’t do that while students are around,” he said. “It’s going to cost a lot of money,”

Securing a job after graduation got a little easier for degree programs in the fields of science, technology, engineering or mathematics after Ryerson received $2 million in funding from the Federal Economic Development Agency for Southern Ontario (FedDev). The new iSTEM program provides companies with grants of $10,000 for a graduate of an undergraduate program and $15,000 for an intern with a graduate degree or currently enrolled in graduate schooling. In return partner companies who accept these grants will match the grants with an equal or greater contribution and offer six-month internship positions to qualifying students. “This is part of the federal development agency and their program and what they are trying to do is encourage companies to bring into their industry advanced technologies for productivity, and they want to get the very best students in the [science, technology, engineering and mathematics] areas to work in these industries,” said President Sheldon Levy. The program will create up to 150 internships within small to medium-sized businesses in Southern Ontario. Graduates

who are hired attend a three-day training boot camp led by industry professionals and professors from Ryerson to provide them with a crash course in business concepts before they begin their work terms. “Many of them catch on with the industry and a number of them get the opportunity to be entrepreneurs on their own,” said Levy. “It has huge benefits for students and is better than a co-op.” Anthony Lamanna, a fourthyear undergraduate biology student, had never heard of the program before but plans on looking into it. “A program that lets me get paid for skills I’ve learned in university but also lets me acquire new [business skills] sounds like the best of both worlds,” he said. As a third-year criminal justice student, Tyler King isn’t eligible for any of the internships iSTEM creates but he still supports Ryerson taking action to aid their graduates with finding job placements. “You graduate and instantly become part of a very competitive job market,” he said. “[The program] doesn’t help me necessarily but it’s nice to know Ryerson is showing they care about making sure their students are successful postgraduation.”

Security app aims to help campus
BY ABIGALE SUBDHAN

Those code-blue emergency poles scattered throughout campus now have a mobile counterpart thanks to Toronto-based startup Guardly Corp. The company introduced the security app last Thursday and offers it to 67 universities and colleges across Canada — including Ryerson. Students can download the free app, called Smart Campus, to their smartphones by providing a campus-registered email address. Once installed, the user has one-touch access to security services from anywhere on campus. The app also allows students to exchange text messages with security, depending on the type of emergency. The app is available for download on iPhone, Blackberry, Android and Windows 7 smartphones. Josh Sookman, founder and CEO of Guardly, created the app as a way to develop current campus emergency practices. “We worked at a university and became familiar with the campus emergency poles. We wanted to fix [their] limitations,” said Sookman. Tanya Fermin-Poppleton, operations manager of security and emergency services at Ryerson agrees the app will make security more accessible to students. “It narrows it down for students

so they don’t have to know where their nearest [security] phone or blue phone is,” said Fermin-Poppleton. Smart Campus works both on-campus and off but if you’re off-campus, the app does not contact campus security. Instead, a GPS device tracks your location and gives you the option to contact up to 15 people in a pre-established list of emergency contacts or to call 9-1-1. Second-year computer science student, Elvis Tran, said he’s interested in downloading the app; however he still has some concerns. “I see [this app] as being misused. People still pocket-dial and because its one-touch, there will be lots of accidental calls,” said Tran. The problem, according to Sookman, will be solved with Guardly’s 10-second countdown that vibrates every second to notify the student in case they have misdialed. “The biggest challenge will be reaching students and making sure they are aware of it,” he said. That is why Guardly has created a program within campuses across the country that not only promotes the app, but promotes ending violence on Canadian campuses. The Campus Hero Campaign allows students who download the app,

Discover. Invent. Design. Build. Manage. Change. Learn.
If you are looking for an advanced career in today’s knowledge economy, Canada’s largest engineering school provides a breadth and depth of graduate programs to help you to work together to create awareness about campus safety. Ryerson students can get involved with this campus’s initiative by going to Guardly’s website. Sarah Serajelahi, fifth-year sociology student, agrees the app is an appropriate step to take to enhance security measures at Ryerson. “When I stay late to study, the buildings are so quiet to walk through,” said Serajelahi. “I’d feel a little safer if I used [this app].” This new security option available to students comes in light of an alleged sexual assault and abduction of a 27-year-old woman three weeks ago. The Ryerson campus was under security watch alerts after the woman was forced into a black mini-van by six males at Yonge and Gerrard Streets.
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The Eyeopener

NEWS

January 25, 2012

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MLSE law suit still unresolved
Although it was expected to be resolved by now, the Maple Leaf Sport Entertainment (MLSE) naming rights law suit is still ongoing. Ryerson president Sheldon Levy says that MLSE is not happy with the proposal that Ryerson submitted. “We are trying to get clarification from MLSE about where we are apart,” Levy said.

Levy donates to lipdub
After a stream of successful viral videos from postsecondary schools around the world, Ryerson is only the latest university to jump on the lipdub bandwagon. A $3,000 contribution was made to the cause by President Sheldon Levy. “[The reason for the donation] is supporting students on a project that, if they get it right, would be a lot of fun for the university,” he said. Students involved are now in the editing phase of the project.

Architechture app developed at Rye
Ryerson’s department of Architechtural Science and Library and Archives have partnered up to create a free interactive mobile architecture app. The app uses geo-location data to help the user begin an architecural tour through the city. Using hi-res images. floor plans and more, users can learn more about the history of the buildings. It was created and developed by architectural science professor Vincent Hui, Innovative Technologies Librarian Graham McCarthy and their team. Over 60 students and recent grads have contributed to the peer reviewed database.

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We accept all dental insurance plans offered through your Student Association Centre. Payment direct from insurance company; student does not pay out of pocket. 1554A Bloor Street West (outside Dundas West subway). 416-539-9887.

Briefs & Groaners
On Jan. 16, students walking down Dalhousie Street were approached by an individual aggressively asking for money. When they refused’ he spat on one of them. They attempted to apprehend the individual and pursued him all the way to the Esso gas station. One of the students sustained minor injuries in the chase and Toronto Police later arrested the spitter. This is why we at the Eyeopener are all strong advocates for swallowing.

RSU TION ELEC BATE DE 2012 31
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A laptop was stolen from the library on Jan. 19. The laptop was actually signed out using a stolen Ryerson OneCard and never returned. Approximate value of the laptop? $1,800. Getting into Briefs and Groaners? Priceless. On Jan. 20, items were stolen from a student’s locker in the RAC. Items missing included his winter clothing. Security provided him with a taxi fare so he could make it home without freezing his balls off. Two words: dick move. A student’s iPhone was stolen from the tenth floor of the library on Jan. 21.

Though it was right in front of her while she worked, it was snatched anyway. While pursuing the individual who was in the next aisle over. she yelled at the him to drop her phone and he did. Security searched but did not find the individual. Maybe he was a sympathetic criminal. Or a pussy. On the first floor of Kerr Hall South, a security notice board had its glass shattered on Jan. 21. It appeared that someone had taken a Ryersonian newsstand and thrown it at the board, causing the damage. Geez guys, we know the Sonian sucks, but don’t take it out on Kerr Hall.

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at various poll locations with valid student i.d.

10:30am to 5:30pm
Interim Liberal leader Bob Rae stopped by the DMZ on Jan. 18.
PHOTO: MOHAMED OMAR

January 25, 2012

NEWS

The Eyeopener

7

Pick and choose your student leaders
Since you might as well exercise your democratic right to vote no matter how limited the choices are, you should at least have some background on the ballot. Lauren Fogazzi gives you the run down on this year’s candidates
Rodney Diverlus 3rd yr dance Running for President Students United
Rodney has been VP Equity for the past two years and hopes to continue the work he was doing in that position. His primary aim is to lobby the university for additional multifaith spaces on campus. He wants to launch a new website and use social media to connect students. He also hopes to promote provincial student movements to lobby the situations common to all Ontario students.

Mark Single 4th yr engineering Running for President
This is Mark’s fourth year running for an RSU position. His platform is based on individual liberties and fiscal responsibility. He’s opposed to almost every stance the current RSU takes. He hopes to see the RSU cut spending in several areas. He feels they should not involve themselves in municipal and federal politics, and is opposed to the Canadian Federation of Students (CFS). He hopes to add more street food to campus and build school spirit.

Suraj Singh 4th yr radio and television Running for President
As founder of Ryerson’s Quidditch team, Suraj hopes to extend his magic further across campus. He wants to improve the school library by creating napping spaces, a therapy zone and a corgi petting zoo. He volunteers to help use any unused student condoms and hopes he will affect many student bodies while doing so. He also hopes to improve night life by expanding the Ram in the Rye and turning Ryerson into a cool and sought-after university.

Melissa Palermo 3rd yr new media Yes/No for VP Education Students United

Marwa Hamid 4th yr journalism Yes/No for VP Equity Students United

Election Info
The President sets the RSU’s major policies and goals for the academic year. They oversee the other executives, direct large projects and occupy the office closest to the door. The responsibilities of the VP Education have been cut since the implementation of VP Equity. VP Education is still in charge of certain activist campaigns about education and fees, and acts as an advocate for students. VP Equity is in charge of campaigns against discrimination and supervises the Equity and Sustainability Committee. VP Student Life and Events organizes parties and other events including the annual Parade and Picnic. They also meet with student groups and plan many multicultural events. VP Operations balances the books and supervises RSU services including the Used Book Room and selling Metropasses. They set the budget for the RSU and affiliated student groups. Voting will take place Feb. 6, 7 and 8. Campaigning will begin Jan. 25. This year’s chief returning officer is Daniel Lo. There are three candidates running for president. The other four nominees are running uncontested and will be chosen by a Yes/No ballot.

Melissa hopes to help mobilize students to lobby the government to make education more affordable. She wants to continue working with students to build momentum around the Drop Fees campaign. She also hopes to improve the work-study program so that more students will be eligible.

Marwa is passionate about turning Ryerson into an inclusive campus. She hopes to lobby for the institutionalization of equity, in the hopes of adding an equity statement to all course syllabi to promote a zerodiscrimination policy. She also wants to create more gender neutral spaces, such as washrooms.

Andrew McAllister 4th yr performance production Yes/No for VP Operations Students United

Ifaz Iqbal 3rd yr business Yes/No for VP Student Life and Events Students United

Andrew was on the board for the faculty of communication and design (FCAD) for two years. Through his experiences talking to students he hopes to have found issues that the Ryerson community is really passionate about. These include keeping Gould Street closed and extending the closure to Church Street.

Ifaz is hoping to improve frosh week and other student functions. He plans to do this by bringing his passion for organizing events such as concerts to the table. He hopes to collaborate with the CFS to get bigger artists to perform on campus.

PHOTOS COURTESY OF RSU/EYEOPENER FILE PHOTOS

Tepper’s Take: no democracy for you
BY SEAN TEPPER ASSOCIATE NEWS EDITOR

This past week saw the Ryerson Students’ Union (RSU) election nomination period come and go with a total of seven candidates vying for five executive spots in the upcoming election. As it stands, current vice president equity Rodney Diverlus will be competing in a three-way presidential race against independents Mark Single and our very own fun editor Suraj Singh. The five other VP positions have members from Diverlus’ slate, Students United, running uncontested. That’s right, in a school that boasts thousands of students that are eligible candidates, only seven people decided to run in this year’s RSU elections.

Remember last week when our ace reporter Scoop W. Gerbil warned you of the one-horse race our RSU has become? Well even he couldn’t have predicted this sad turn in events. Now I’m fully aware that Ryerson students don’t exactly jump up in excitement at the opportunity of becoming a member of our student government, but seriously, only seven people? Here at the Eyeopener, we get more than double that amount of people running for editorial positions, and a job at our campus paper doesn’t pay anywhere close to the $30,000 that a job as an RSU executive position pays. More than ever the reality is us average Ryerson shmoes have lost almost any chance of deciding who represents us. One slate and one candidate per VP position is not a choice, it’s a preview of coming attractions. Sure, if any of the uncontested candidates get more votes against them than for them they will not be elected, but the chances of that happening are slim to none. The current members of the student union will always be

able to hand pick their replacements because they have control over the incoming candidates. Without the threat of any real competition, the executives will continue to dangle the promises of creating a better environment for students and create the illusion that they are the only ones that care; so the charade continues. And on Election Day, no matter how the voter turnout is, Students United can claim they were elected in a landslide by an enthusiastic and caring democracy. Amongst the presidential candidates, Diverlus may very well emerge as the one who is best suited for the job. Heck, I’m sure that the rest of the uncontested candidates know what they’re doing. But with that being said, if you walk into a voting booth on Feb. 8 and vote yes to any of four candidates that are running unopposed, just remember you are doing your part in supporting the illusion that our student union is selected by a democracy, because at the end of the day there is no such thing as democracy without competition. No matter how menial it may be.

8

The Eyeopener

FEATURES

January 25, 2012

Bottle Fatigue
A
For many university students, drinking is a way of life. But the culture of drinking on campus could be masking more serious problems. Kate Hefford reports
days, men no more than three. In total, these guidelines recommend no more than 10 drinks per week for women and 15 drinks per week for men. This is based on one drink of 341ml of beer, a cooler, a 5oz glass of wine or a 1.5oz shot of 40 per cent hard alcohol. Anything more is considered to be excessive, unhealthy, and alcohol abuse. By these standards, many university students are guilty of this abuse. Case in point — Ryerson security is called to the Ram in the Rye at least once a month to deal with drunk patrons refusing to leave, or to eject a large group acting aggressively. However, this does not include instances where Ram security handled an ejection themselves. Many students joke about being alcoholics, followed by the affirmation that “we’re not alcoholics, we’re just students.” But if you’re one of those pounding back shots of tequila at Tight and Brights, you may want to ask yourself if your drinking habits are really normal. tudents who have trouble with substance abuse can go to the Ryerson Counselling Centre. Here, a doctor will do an assessment of a student’s drinking habits, and then provide treatments. Serious cases can be referred to sources like the Drug and Alcohol Helpline n intoxicated woman into their first apartment start urges her friend to feeling the freedom, while firstdrink water at Mick E. year university students jockey Fynn’s at quarter to midnight on for position on beer pong teams. a Thursday. The pub is crowded 2010 Health Canada with Ryersonians and smells like survey reported that beer and vinegar. The smell, the 72 per cent of youth strobe lights aged 15 to 24 and the heavy have drank in the bass combine past year. But in for a complete the university It’s rebellious, it’s sensory oversetting, drinking dangerous, it’s binge load, encouris seen almost drinking until your face aging patrons daily. hits the floor. to drink even “I used to stop more. at the LCBO after Two D-bags class and drink pump their fists and thrust their in the Quad,” says Sandra Harhips and some girls stumble rison* of her dazed and confused around after too many vodka first-year ways. Now, she is an cranberries. One climbs a pool ambitious third year hospitality table. “You’re gonna git... you’re and tourism management stugonna git kicked out,” slurs an- dent at Ryerson, but this comes other. after failing out of psychology The majority of us started at McMaster University from doing it underage. Most likely drinking too much. without consulting the ‘rents, When she started at Ryerson, our first time was either in a she found herself rushing each basement, a poster adorned bed- assignment the night before it room or an illegal house party. was due, binge drinking reguNo one really knows what to larly and wasting days at a time expect their first time around, recuperating. On nights out, her but we surpass that guilt-ridden safety was almost always at risk. anxiety for the ultimate goal; She’s certain that these habits pleasure. It’s rebellious, it’s dan- did “horrible, horrible things” to gerous, it’s binge drinking until her body. your face hits the floor. According to Health CanaSo it’s only natural that upon da’s drinking guidelines, drinks graduating to the post-second- should be spaced apart by an ary level, young adults are ready hour. Women should drink no for the bar scene. Those moving more than two drinks on most

PHOTOS: MARISSA DEDERER

A

S

or Alcoholics Anonymous. this one night of drinking they’re Dr. Su-Ting Teo, director of living with this panic disorder.” health and wellness at Ryerson, or Harrison, getting back says that “students might not on track was just a matrealize they actually have an ister of getting those shesue,” at least until they meet nanigans out of her system. “I’m with a doctor. She also says over it,” she says. Last year, she binging has more of a physical started using her grocery money impact than drinking often but for food instead of booze, pushhaving fewer drinks at a time. ing for A’s where she used to get Teo says that the affect of D’s. binge drinking is what surprises However, one of the unexpeople the most, “because they pected consequences of reducing think, ‘oh, I’m only drinking like your intake can be the loss of the this once a month.’” social network it creates. Side effects can include irre“I wish I made more friends coverable harm to one’s liver, in my program,” she says, bethe crucial organ that filters cause she spent most of her time unhealthy substances from the drinking with friends at Campus blood like, say, booze. Teo says Common. “[But] I don’t miss some people can binge drink all making an ass of myself.” through university and come out ot everybody spent fine (“if they don’t get alcohol their Saturdays perfectpoisoning and die”), but that ing their flip cup techsome students nique in first will suffer year. Thirdfairly unexyear journalpected conseism student I don’t miss making an ass quences. Veronica Yao of myself. “Alcohol can says she used — Sandra Harrison*, thirdactually unto joke with year hospitality and tourism mask mental friends, describillness, [most ing herself as commonly] the type who anxiety.” With individuals drinks chocolate milk out of prone to anxiety, binge drinking a crazy straw at the end of the can make the illness worse and bar. Drinking, she thought, was trigger panic attacks. reserved for a “claustrophobic “People come in [to the Coun- room of dancing girls in glitter.” selling Centre] not knowing why Unlike many that night, Yao they have panic attacks. From actually remembers the first

F

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January 25, 2012

FEATURES

The Eyeopener

9

“Journalism versus Radio and Television Arts” karaoke her friends, she balances drinking two to three nights night she attended. a week with school and other priorities. She says she “Everyone was a little nuts, but I didn’t feel left out,” doesn’t always feel obligated to drink, which helps her she recalls. Though she now drinks occasionally, she says moderate her intake. that her personality is crazy enough without the sauce. esident Advisors(RAs) have However, she says that there were benefits to not drinkseen it all before. Stephen ing, like being able to focus on Jackson is a second-year perher studies much more closely formance production student who — and having more money — lives as an RA in Pitman Hall to offer than those distracted by alcohol. help to new students. He describes I don’t like the idea of spending “I don’t like the idea of spendresidence as a social experiment, copious amounts on alcohol. ing copious amounts on alcohol. combining 17 and 18-year-olds and — Veronica Yao, third-year journalism I get shoppers guilt.” their favourite poison. First-year journalism student “It’s not ‘come to Ryerson [just] Leah Jensen says that she’s to drink,’” he says, but he feels that smarter about drinking than she drinking in university is considered was when she was younger, but between sharing pitchers part of the experience. He doesn’t think these students and cabbing, it does a number on her wallet. “It can come are alcoholics per se, because drinking is accepted as part up to about $100 a week.” of the culture. Jensen says she’s not aware of any of the resources to “Living in residence, drinking surrounds you. For stuhelp potential alcoholics on campus. But unlike some of dents who don’t want to be affiliated with it, it’s kind of

R

E

unavoidable.” ven if drinking is this ubiquitous, Jensen says nobody considers it a bad thing. “[Some students] are in denial and don’t want to believe there’s a problem, like routinely having alcohol in everyday situations,” she says. “We don’t identify it as a problem. Most don’t take [it] seriously.” Many of these students are binge drinkers, Teo says. This means to drink four or more beverages in one sitting. Alcohol consumption becomes a problem when it starts affecting your life — like damaging relationships, school performance, or one’s ability to think clearly. However, even if your drinking hasn’t begun to affect your everyday life, you can still be doing damage to your health. Though a number of students seek help, Teo doesn’t think there’s been much education about it, and the culture of drinking doesn’t help. “There’s the expectation: this is what you do when you go to university,” she says, “There’s less of a recognition that there can be serious consequences.” *Name has been changed.

10 The Eyeopener

WHAT’S LEFT IN YOUR WALLET?
BY NICOLE SIENA

COMMUNITIES

January 25, 2012

You may have freaked out when you heard of the price increases that will become effective in 2012. As broke students, we can’t afford to have more money drained from our already tight budgets. This is where I come in. I sat down, did some math, and figured out how much budgeting we’ll have to do for the next 52 weeks. The result wasn’t as bad as I predicted, but it doesn’t mean we won’t have to save our pennies.

SPENDING IN 2011
$2.50/ token x 3 round trips = $15.00 Three round-trips per week = $780.00 24-bottle case = $28.80 One per week = $1,497.60 750 ml spirits = $23.40 One every other week = $608.40

&
GETTING AROUND
10 CENT INCREASE

SPENDING IN 2012
$2.60/ token x 3 round trips $15.60 $15.60 x 52 weeks/year = $811.20 24-bottle case = $29.35 $29.35 x 52 = $1,526.20 750 ml spirits = $23.90 $23.90 x 26 = $621.40

GETTING DRUNK
55 CENT INCREASE

GETTING HAMMERED
50 CENT INCREASE

$10* bill x 0.15 tip =$11.50 Eating out once per week = $1,196.00 $9.50/trip to Hamilton x 2 tickets=$19.00 Visit ‘rents once per month = $228.00 Extreme Package at Rogers is $59.99 For one year = $719.88 $54.80 Digital Plus Package x 12 = $657.60 AMOUNT SPENT IN 2011 :

5 PER CENT TIP INCREASE

GETTING FOOD

$10* bill x 0.20 tipping =$12.00 $24.00 x 52 = $1,248.00 $9.90/ trip to Hamilton x 2 tickets=$19.80 $ 19.80 x 12= $237.60 Extreme Package is $61.99 For one year = $743.88 $57.84 Digital Plus Package x 12 = $694.08 AMOUNT TO BE SPENT IN 2012:

GETTING HOME
40 CENT INCREASE

GETTING CONNECTED
$2 INCREASE

GETTING TV
$2.74 INCREASE

$5,687.40

DIFFERENCE OF ONLY

$ 5,882.36

$194.96

BILL IS PRE-TAX

PHOTOS BY NICOLE SIENA

January 25, 2012

SPORTS

The Eyeopener 11

The renaissance of women’s volleyball TheScore After finishing 1-17 last season, Chris Babic reports on the myriad of improvements the
Thursday women’s volleyball team have made to quadruple their win total this year
Women’s Hockey @Brock (7:15 p.m.) Men’s Hockey vs. Nipissing (7:30 p.m.)

Friday
Women’s Basketball vs. RMC (6 p.m.) Men’s Hockey vs. Queen’s (7 p.m.) Men’s Basketball vs. RMC (8 p.m.) Chelsea Briscoe hits a serve during saturday’s game agaisnt Waterloo.
This past Saturday, the Ryerson Rams women’s volleyball team were able to accomplish something that eluded them all of last season: they overcame the odds to win a game in five sets. During the Rams’ disappointing 1-17 campaign last year, they could not find ways to close out tightly contested games. They finished the season with 8 sets won and 55 sets lost, en route to being shut out in 13 of their 18 games.The team was hit with major injury problems, but more importantly they lacked the talent to complete. In an effort to improve over the off-season, the team has taken several initiatives. Head Coach Dustin Reid added nine new faces to the squad, the Rams hired a team trainer to prevent injuries and Reid is pushing his players to take a more competitive approach during practices. “The intensity and seriousness of our program has been upped,” said Emily Varga, a first-year libero. “We are rising to the occasion and the results are showing.” The wins have definitely made the game more enjoyable for the entire team this season. The Rams have already won five more games than last year. With a 6-8 record, the team currently sits in a playoff spot. “We expected the wins,” said Emily Nicholishen, the team’s star recruit. “We know that we are a better team this year, and we’re showing it.” At the beginning of the season, it was clear that the rookies would need to settle in quickly and play up to their potential in order for the team to improve immediately. Nicholishen and fellow rookie, Chelsea Briscoe have delivered in spades, they’re first and second on the team in points scored respectively. Along with the offensive firepower the rookies have brought to the team, Reid installed a defensive system that focuses on shutting down the opposing team’s best players. The anchor of the Rams’ defense is the six-foot-two Kasandra Bracken, a fifth-year middle blocker with the height needed to come up to challenge the other team’s spikes. Bracken returns to the team after a one-year hiatus from the team, as she contemplated what she wanted to do after graduating. As the most experienced player
PHOTO: MOHAMED OMAR

Saturday
Men’s Volleyball vs. Queen’s (2 p.m.) Women’s Hockey @Guelph (2 p.m.) Women’s Basketball vs. Queen’s (6 p.m.) Men’s Basketball vs. Queen’s (8 p.m.)

Sunday
Women’s Volleyball @Ottawa (2 p.m.) Men’s Volleyball vs. RMC (2 p.m.)

on the team, Bracken is the team’s natural leader on the youngest team in all of the Ontario University Athletics (OUA). “When everyone’s got their nerves going, my role is to keep everyone level headed and stay calm,” said Bracken. “Even though I get really excited as well.” The journey back to relevancy for the women’s volleyball team has been a gruelling one that began with the preparations made by the coaching staff made in the offseason. Halfway through the new season, the results are showing. This team is no longer the OUA’s doormat. “Our coach wanted to revamp the whole Ryerson volleyball program said Nicholishen. “And make Ryerson an elite team, we get it.”

‘Foreigners’ bond with TWEETS the beautiful game
RYERSON ATHLETICS’ OF THE WEEK
Stephanie White:
Associate Athletic Director
Sad weekend for the Ryerson family with the passing of former Women’s BB coach Sandy Pothier. She battled cancer hard. Rest peacefully Sandy. (@stephrwhite11)
BY NICK HONE

The Equestrian Club:

Ryerson University will be hosting the first annual Equestrian Show-January 29th...Come cheer us on. (@RUequestrian)

Ryerson Rams:

Rams’ women’s volleyball scores eight straight points to defeat @WlooWarriors 15-8 in the fifth set, winning the contest 3-2! (@ryersonrams)

Markus Molder
Men’s Soccer Defender:
How does the #nationalpost not have a single article related to the #elclassico today? Get your shit together. (@Moldacious)

Throw together a bunch of international exchange students who have never met before and they will naturally try and look for some common ground on which to bond. When I met the rest of the exchange students at the start of last semester, it took about 10 seconds for us to find ours: soccer. From the World Cup to kicking the ball around at a park, there’s nothing more common around the world. So it was, I found myself captain of Foreigners FC, a Ryerson intramural team made up of players from England, France, Germany, Spain, Ireland and Australia. It made for a good mix of soccer styles, from the no-nonsense kick and run approach of the British and Australians, to the flair of the Spanish and French. Our Irishman brought a very vocal presence (as well as no small amount of skill), whilst our goals naturally came from the German. A typical game would be end to end between ourselves and our opponents.

Often, we would simply wear them down with spirit, persistence or a moment of magic from one of our better players. It seemed at times like our Canadian opposition weren’t quite sure what to make of us. In the end we finished second, in both the regular season and the playoffs, to a team who are now playing in the division above. With a new semester now underway, the team is now flying under the French flag, and has been renamed Rab-Bites; Google-translate at your peril. The goal for this semester is to finish first in the regular season and win the championship. To do this we have recruited fresh talent from the new intake of exchange students. As for next year, who knows? But I’m hopeful intramurals at Ryerson will always have at least one team comprised of soccer mad foreigners like my team. Seeing as we all know, the international brand of soccer is superior to North America’s. Oh, and one more thing. It’s not soccer, it’s called football.
PHOTO COURTESY OF NICK HONE

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12 The Eyeopener

ARTS & LIFE

January 25, 2012

Colour me complicated
Ryerson alumni Sherien Barsoum’s documentary Colour Me hits home with issues about racism and identity. Susana Gomez-Baez reports
ple who are an ethnic minority, he doesn’t really know how he should talk. So even as a grown man, he’s still grappling.” Barsoum said that she saw this behaviour every day when she worked as a social worker with youth at risk in priority neighbourhoods. And before that, when she was at Ryerson, she said she also witnessed racism directed at her friends. Tamara Jones, a first-year journalism student, said people assume her boyfriend is black, since she herself is mixed race. She added her boyfriend is Caucasian with blue eyes. “With other races, no one has expectations, but if you’re a minority, they expect you to stay within that minority.” Rodney Diverlus, vice president equity with the Ryerson Students’ Union, explained that it is this reputation as a diverse campus that makes it hard to notice racism at Ryerson. “I think this [culture of denial] is problematic and scary,” Diverlus said. Barsoum said, Colour Me is an invitation for people to challenge the way we think about race. “Take a step back, and before you categorize somebody, just check yourself and allow that person to come alive first and get to know them,” Barsoum said. “We’re all individuals and to have anyone assume something about us is really robbing us of who we are.” The dates and times are available online at www.colourmethefilm.com/ watch

Growing pains
The new English program has been a challenge to establish. Kayla Hoolwerf reports
A number of hardships have plauged Ryerson’s newest program — the Bachelor of Arts in English. Although English has been offered through different programs at Ryerson as a requirement, including as a specialization through arts and contemporary studies (ACS), this is the first year that it is being offered as a major on its own. Students in the English major this year seem to be having a slightly tougher time getting used to the university experience. “It’s kind of hard [being in the new English program],” Alyssa Whitmell, a first year in the program said. “While all the other programs are more established it’s going to take time for us to get there because of how new it is.” Whitmell pointed out that during orientation week in residence, the English students seemed to be continuously mistaken for ACS students. “They’re getting better now, but before English wasn’t an option for anything,” Whitmell said. “When we came for orientation all of our name tags said ACS. We also had a register survey and we had to check off ACS because English wasn’t there.” Undergraduate director for English, Lorraine Kooistra recognized a problem with connecting the students. “It’s new, and the first year English students want communication. It’s unfortunate residence wasn’t ready for that.” “We’ve been trying to build up community because it’s in the first year and we don’t have a course union,” Kooistra said. Until the union is established next year, the program administrator Wendy Francis sends out e-mails informing students of upcoming events. “They try to give us a lot of opportunity for unity,” Whitmell said. “But I think because it’s first year we’re afraid to take advantage of them.” When it comes to the success of the new program, “It’s just a question of time,” said Kooistra.
PHOTO: MOHAMED OMAR

A scene from Colour Me.
Toronto is considered a mosaic — a city whose diversity captures people and suggests that racism does not exist here. In her documentary Colour Me, Sherien Barsoum, a Ryerson journalism graduate from 2002, explores the stereotypes of race and colour, as well as their impact on the lives of individuals. The documentary will be screening throughout the month of February at different locations, including the University of Toronto. The film narrates the journey of youth worker Anthony McLean as he mentors six adolescents in Brampton, Ont. But as he helps the teenagers deal with the difficulties of being social minorities, McLean struggles with his own.

PHOTO COURTESY OF SHERIEN BARSOUM

“I always have a problem when people say ‘I’m colour-blind, I don’t see colour and I don’t see race,’” said Barsoum, 31. “I know that it’s well-intentioned but the truth of the matter is that [racism] is very much alive.” McLean was the inspiration for the documentary, according to Barsoum. They met at a convention where he was a speaker. McLean’s struggle began with his lack of contact with people of his own race. African-American television characters were one of McLean’s few links to his heritage. “He’s now in his 30s with a wife and kids, but his whole life, he’s been grappling with his identity,” Barsoum said. “When he walks into a room and there’s a bunch of peo-

Know any great artists?

The Eye’s second annual Arts Top 10 will be published on March 7, and we want your nominations for Ryerson’s best artists. If you know anyone with artistic talent, send your nominations to arts@theeyeopener.com!

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January 25, 2012

BIZ & TECH

The Eyeopener 13

Ryerson not co-operating
Some Ryerson students are feeling that the university isn’t doing enough to provide co-op opportunities, which will affect their chances of getting a job after graduation. Nadya Domingo reports
Ryerson students in co-operative programs are questioning if the university offers adequate employment opportunities. Co-operative education is a program that allows students to gain work experience related to their field of study. Graduates of co-op programs receive networking opportunities, earn competitive salaries, and have added skills on their resumes. Ryerson currently offers 10 co-op programs and the school’s co-operative education website says employers tend to choose graduates with co-op experience over graduates from regular programs. Matthew Mina, a first-year civil engineering student, said he came to Ryerson to experience the feel of a small campus in Toronto’s downtown core. It came as a surprise to him that he would not graduate with any co-op training. “I think this is unfair and I hope a co-op program does become available to all engineering students at Ryerson in the future,” he said. Chemical engineering students can take co-ops, but civil engineering students are not offered the option. The University of Waterloo is known for their co-op programs, with more than 56 per cent of their full-time undergraduate students enrolled in co-ops. David Zhu, a first-year software engineering student at the University of Waterloo, chose the university because of their co-op programs. “The things you learn in a classroom are nothing compared to the

TWEETS
OF THE WEEK
Want to vent your frustration or make us laugh? Use the #eyeforatweet hashtag. If we like what we see, we may print it! Be sure to follow @theeyeopener for all your Ryerson news.

@lafemmeblush

Seeing all my friends post about #powderpuff games makes me sad #ryerson doesn’t have a powder puff team #eyeforatweet

@GeminisTwinn
First-year Matthew Mina is disappointed with Ryerson’s co-op opportunities
actual world,” he said. “By having co-op, the student would be learning everything they would learn normally in a classroom, plus the added benefit of actually experiencing how it is like to work in the field.” Zhu said he recently sent out applications for 50 different jobs and had 1,000 listings available to him. “Without this experience, how would [students] know if they actually chose the right career path or not until they graduate with a degree to get a job?” he said. A software program was created at Ryerson’s Digital Media Zone called Whoplusyou that is an initiative to better connect students with employers. “I think there will be some great things coming from that,” said Stefan Kerry, manager of the office of co-operative education. But co-op students at Ryerson typically seek employment on their own. The co-op office encourages students to do so, although they are still available to assist those seeking help with resumes, interviews, and cover letters. Even with these resources, other universities seem to attract more attention for their co-op programs. The University of Toronto Scarborough (UTSC) is often chosen by students specifically for its co-op experience. Over 40 co-op programs are offered in the sciences, arts, management and business studies. Students receive up to 12 months of paid work experience through the UTSC co-op program. Brian Longmire, 18, said he applied to the Scarborough campus because the university was persistent in highlighting the benefits of co-op.
PHOTO: LINDSAY BOECKL

“It’s beautiful that they give that option, and they made that apparent from the get-go,” he said. “That was the only reason I wanted to go there.” Ryerson does offer employment opportunities aside from co-ops. Through the Experiential Learning program, each faculty offers experiences like internships, thesis studies, and clinical placements. Kerry said these opportunities should be recognized. “I think that it might be overstating it that Ryerson doesn’t connect students with employers,” he said. “Ryerson is interested in adding more co-op programs for students.”

we are on the second floor in vic, beside the stair case... and you wait for the elevator!? #youDOhavelegs @theeyeopener #eyeforatweet

@happy_apples

grooooooss sneezer beside me is seriously gooey. should have stayed home, buddy. cure that cold before I catch it! #eyeforatweet

@ThatMohamedOmar

#Ryerson, the candidate list is sort of like being offerred drugs. You must say YES or NO, otherwise people think you’re a cop

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14 The Eyeopener

FUN

January 25, 2012

MystiKai’s Prophesy
Aries After much soul - sea r ch ing, you feel like you’ve finally found the real you. Unfortunately, it turns out you’re kind of a douchebag. Gemini You’ll achieve a lot this week if you attack each day like it’s one of those poor, defenseless nurses in your basement. Leo You should resolve to try new things and set goals for yourself this week. You will actually just stay home eating ice cream and masturbating. Close enough. Virgo With the recent crackdowns on Internet piracy, you’ll decide to get music the old fashioned way: by stealing the hard copy from the mall. Libra Sagittarius The cops will find You’re really your grow-op, no reaching for the matter how many top these days. “THESE ARE TOTALLY The monotonous blur of cat CORN PLANTS” signs you videos that is your life will be hang up. broken up with a new type of microwavable food. Aquarius You’re beginning to think that Folgers is full of shit, since it’s becoming pretty clear that the best part of waking up is whiskey in your cup.

Taurus You will either fail everything you try and die crying in a basement or have something else happen.

Cancer As a poor student, you’ll discover that killing and eating the homeless really frees up a lot of your budget.

Scorpio The cops with discover your LSD lab, no matter how many “GORRILAS ARE PURPLE” signs you hang up.

Capricorn The planets don’t even know you’re here. If this were high school, the planets would be the cool kids at the party and you would be... well you in high school.

Pisces Make plans for financial and romantic success this week. At this point, delusion is really your best option.
BY KAI BENSON

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January 25, 2012

PROPAGANDA

The Eyeopener 15

Saskatchewan-bound sisters saved!
Suraj Singh, nationally recognized Quidditch authority and shoo-in for RSU president, cements his place in the hearts of the public by saving a group of nuns. Cornelius Peabody III and Tits McGee report on this noble act of nonchalant heroism
International sex symbol Suraj “The Mirage” Singh, commonly known as “Supreme Overlord,” “Mighty Commander,” or “Richard,” saved 16 nuns trapped on a bus headed to Saskatchewan Monday morning. Singh, who recently toppled the evil capitalistic regime known as “Blockbuster” by switching to NetFlix, was riding his bike back to Toronto from Winnipeg, where he attended a charity to raise awareness about Winnipeg. Sister Martha Medear, 22, said Singh courageously stopped the bus in an act of unadulterated heroism. “He politely waved and told the bus driver to pull over,” she said. “If it wasn’t for Suraj, we’d be in Saskatchewan.” The nuns were on their way to attend a church summer camp that helps Saskatchewan kids get the hell out of Saskatchewan. “I really want to help those children,” said Sister Rita Eisenhower, 29. “But if it means going to Saskatchewan… let’s just say I thank God for Suraj everyday.” Sister Sarah Marshall, 21, was at the front of the bus when it almost got even closer to Saskatchewan. “I kind of regret this whole celibacy thing,” she said. “I mean, just look at him.” Singh, who apart from working in Space covering breaks for the Canadarm, is a Grand Poohbah at Ryerson. Grand Poohbahs are those who, according to the Book of Student Supremacy, have “displayed athletic, intellectual, entrepreneurial, spiritual, and sexual abilitywhile maintaining a 10.0 GPA.” “I was reading The Brothers Karamazov when I saw the bus,” said Singh. “I finished it quickly and decided to take action.” When asked if this heroic act was a publicity stunt for his upcoming run at the Ryerson Student Union presidency, Singh responded that by his standards, it was actually a fairly quiet Monday. “I’m not too worried about the elections,” he said. “After all, why wouldn’t they vote for the student who promises to eliminate all fees AND cure cancer?” Second-year photography student Steven Ingold said he’s definitely voting for Singh after hearing about his promises to legalize weed on campus and give a free corgi to every student. “With most candidates, you feel like they’re not really going to live up to their campaign promises,” said Ingold. “But with Suraj, you just know that he’s going to accomplish everything he says he will.”

Suraj contemplates why anyone would go to Saskatchewan.

Word on the Street
Are you voting in the upcoming election?

Good Guy Greg Third-year Atruistic Studies “Of Course! It’s my responsibilty as a member of the community.”

Scumbag Steve Second-year Alcohol Abuse “Why is the sun so bright? I’m still really hung-over”

Buster Corgi “Woof! Woof! Woof!”

ATTENTION STUDENTS STARTING WINTER 2012
If you are a full-time student, you pay $196.66 for the Health and Dental Plan.

If you have comparable Health and Dental coverage, get a refund!

OPT-OUT ONLINE by
No exceptions to this deadline.

Friday February 3, 2012
For more info and to opt-out visit
optout.rsuonline.ca
Questions? Contact the Health & Dental Plan Administrator at health@rsuonline.ca

16

The Eyeopener

January 25, 2012

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