EMPLOYER (looking at the resume) All right, let's get started. We've got no time to lose.

Tell me in your own words what makes you a perfect candidate for a job? CANDIDATE I think I've got what it takes. EMPLOYER Simple like that. I like it. What is your experience in working with people? CANDIDATE Well, I worked in a mortuary for couple of years. EMPLOYER Mr. Leo when I asked you about your experience with people, I was referring to people who are actually still alive. CANDIDATE In that case, not all that good. EMPLOYER Speaking of dead people, it says in here that you killed someone. CANDIDATE Yes, a terrible accident, sir. EMPLOYER It says in here it was self defense. CANDIDATE Oh, yeah, that one too. EMPLOYER Well, which one is it? CANDIDATE Both. EMPLOYER What does that mean, you killed two people? Two separate occasions? CANDIDATE No, sir. Two people,one single occasion, one single bullet. First victim, my wife, by accident, second victim, a burglar, self defense. EMPLOYER Don't tell me you're the famous North Side OJ. Wow, I've read all about you. You're like a celebrity around here. CANDIDATE I don't like it when they call me that. EMPLOYER Finally, a chance to hear what really happened, first hand. CANDIDATE Well, I don't like talking about it, but seeing that this might help me get the job, you know what, you'll hear it first hand. EMPLOYER I can't wait. CANDIDATE You see my wife and I had an argument that day, so when I left to work I couldn't focus on the tasks at hand. I had to come back to resolve this issue, and put it behind us. Just in the nick of time, I might add. A burglar was already inside when I got there. When I entered our house, my wife was lying

EMPLOYER And this concludes our interview. not really. I'm happy to inform you that you're our new restroom attendant. EMPLOYER Relax. my wife jumped in between. CANDIDATE Indeed sir. Listen. CANDIDATE What was that? EMPLOYER Nothing Mr. I had to react fast. I reached for my gun and aimed it at him. what a terrible occurrence. I mean he's a burglar. CANDIDATE I don't know. why the lengthy conversation then? . As soon as I said that a burglar came out of a real closet. so I asked her metaphorically to come out of closet. He swung at me. my wife did not cheat on me. I'm just saying you're pretty interesting guy. EMPLOYER Didn't it strike you as odd that he was naked? CANDIDATE No. Both of them. I pulled the trigger. EMPLOYER All right. I'm very interesting guy. What happened then? CANDIDATE It was seconds really. Leo. The job was yours from the beginning. I meant it as a good thing. I don't have all the answers. His phone number in your wife's cell phone. And to think that I almost saved her. I panicked. but one thing I can tell you for sure. good rest her soul. He was holding something like a knife. sir.on the bed. he played some pranks for the fun of it. CANDIDATE Not by my choice. nobody said he had to be dressed. Shot in the head. CANDIDATE Eh? EMPLOYER Well you were the only candidate to begin with. maybe he was a maniac. CANDIDATE So. Instant death. and talk about her problems. Unfortunately. EMPLOYER So you don't think that this guy could have been your wife's lover by any chance? CANDIDATE Why does everybody keep saying that? EMPLOYER His clothes were found by your bed. I'll buy that. CANDIDATE It was dark. sir. EMPLOYER Wow. CANDIDATE In that case. probably thinking that I knew he was inside. EMPLOYER Fat chance.

CANDIDATE Fat chance. EMPLOYER Thank you. . EMPLOYER What was that? CANDIDATE I said thank you sir.EMPLOYER You have to understand that certain procedures had to be followed.

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