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Solution for Syria: Import a Russian

Solution for Syria: Import a Russian

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Published by Vered Ehsani
Syria seems lost. But there is a solution: import a leader...
Syria seems lost. But there is a solution: import a leader...

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Published by: Vered Ehsani on Feb 24, 2012
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Solution for Syria: Import a Russian The general mood with regard to Syria’s situation is verging on the pessimistic

. Assad can’t keep control and the opposition is too weak to get control. Never one to give into despair, The Ghost Post has a solution: importation. Syria should import a new leader. And we know just where to go. Vladimir Putin told thousands of his supporters at a recent rally in Russia: “We are a victorious people. It is in our genes, in our genetic code.” Based on this unquestionable scientific fact, it is quite obvious that Syria needs to hire a Russian to lead the people. Since victory is part of the Russian genetic code, the international community can feel perfectly at ease and confident that the import will succeed in overcoming Assad. Once in place, the Russian leader might change the official language of Syria from Arabic to Russian, but that’s a small price to pay for the democratic ambitions of a people. “It’s quite brilliant,” enthused one teary-eyed international observer based in Syria. “Elegant in its simplicity. I think I’m going to cry.” We’re not sure if the tears were from the brilliance of our suggestion or the tear gas the Syrian army was throwing at us, but we’ll happily take the compliments. Applicants may submit their qualifications to The Ghost Post. Previous political experience is an asset but not a requirement. Good acting skills, on the other hand, are essential, and it wouldn’t hurt to know a bit of Arabic.

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